#but i was by myself and didnt know what to do smh

[hinamie]

theyre soft your honour

[naes-dairy]

I feel the need to vent publicly

[tiredrobin]

coworker who lives at mad at me island threw a mini tantrum this morning (literally threw) (lol. lmao) but didnt give me a reason why until right before i was leaving (the reason was something i didnt know was a thing) n im sitting here like ohhhhh we're communicating like high schoolers now. i see. otay <3

[starzzangell]

https://www.tumblr.com/starzzangell/766640644581097472/im-sorry-i-dont-wanna-be-mean-but-how-can-u-post?source=share

then what about yall preaching "im limitless" but have blockages like make it makes sense bruh?? no wonder yall haven't shifted yet. "im the creator of my own reality" ding dong you create your own blockages too!!!

"loa professional" yet got kicked out from school? PFFTTT be fucking real now smh ur cringe yikes.

👁👃🏿👁

🖕🏿👅🖕🏿

guys my first hate omg !!

so basically this is super immature and i think you need to get over yourself and grow some balls cause doing this anonymously is so pathetic if youre gonna hate at least do it without hiding behind a screen. perhaps you do this cause you love being degraded idk..

ive been severely depressed and struggling for a long time now and that really affects my shifting journey because im rly bad with not letting things get to my head or wtv.. i am aware that i create my own blockages but part of the journey is to move past them which im still working on, and idc how long it takes me im gonna do it.

i love how you sent this without knowing the full story its so funny how you think you know everything about the situation when all you know is like 3% of the info. i havent rly practiced loa consciously in a while because i was under so much pressure and while i was trying my hardest i made a few mistakes and thats why thats how it ended. im not ashamed of this and they didnt even really kick me out they just were scared of another person killing themselves in the dorms so they said i had to go somewhere else.

anyways this was not fun and i dont like defending myself to random people online who dont even know me but ill do it if i have to.

[etheries1015]

BOOK 7 SPOILERS BELOW

I finally decided to suck it up and catch up with twst book 7, I stopped after seeing Silver cry because I'm sCARED OF BEING SAD 😭😭 anyway here's a few reactions I had to it 😭

And hearing about the update coming soon-ish to ENG servers I really need to read up

Lilia pressuring Epel like the old man he is 😭😭 I love the moments that they remind us just how old Lilia actually is and how he sees most if not all the students as if they were his children/grand children, making sure they get the most out of the party and drink...its giving "What do you mean you're not hungry? Absolutely not. Here Is at least 5 servings of whatever dish I made to help u grow big and strong."

Okay I didn't take a screen shot of it but the entire section where Lilia looked kind of guilty with Ortho about exchanging addresses because you just KNOW he probably isn't gonna check in, presumably because he doesn't want anyone to get More attached to him seeing as he is nearing the end of his life span (crying shaking throwing up)

THIS. THIS. THIS INTERACTION HE HAD WITH US. I LOVE HIM. I AM SO SILLY FOR HIM. I totally forgot I changed my in-game name from my nickname to my REAL name and when he said my name I verbally yelled "WHAT THE HELL" before giggling and kicking my feet hehehehe I'm clinically insane for him

But the fact that he acknowledged us as Malleus friend probably means we've spent a lot of time at the dorms or around Lilia for him to see how our friendship and interactions with him work, and it melts my heart hehe. Being part of the diafam fr. But honestly bro back me up, I'm tired of being called a hench-human 😭💀

I wonder just how bad we must look with everyone noticing the strange shift??? Either we REALLY made a scene (tripping over, going pale) or the twst boys are just that attentive to us and I think that is the sweetest thing ever 😭😭 Ace and Deuce is so sweet for thinking of us and trying to get us out while also being polite to the people who kindly held the party. Despite not being there long, ace and deuce is willing to skip out on free food and drinks in order to make sure you're okay and I'm just 😭😭 ANGELS. I LOVE THEM.

But also the way Lilia worries for you is so sweet 😭💜 I should write a fic of sick reader and Lilia, or reader trying to tough it out because I know for a FACT Lilia would not let that slide! (Hypocrite 😐)

I ACTUALLY DROPPED MY JAW WHEN SEBEK SAID THIS SHIT. I WAS. WHAT. WHAT THE HELL LMFAOOOOO 😭 thats fucking insane bro I actually found myself chastising him thru the phone, I would NOT let that discrimination against humans bullshit pass fr 😭 slap him right upside the head and give him a stern talking to. I like seeing Lilia get frustrated, he's so cute and UGH. Although it went in one ear out the other, Seeing Lilia mad is so hot if I'm being real with y'all rn BUAHAHA.

I didnt screen shot this either (and I can't fit anymore photos on this post smh) but Silvers nose being red and obvious he was crying but Lilia confused. DudE OF COURSE he was crying!!! You're his dad!! You raised him since he was a baby, he's just now going into adulthood and doing that WITHOUT HIS DAD who is going to a far away land! Sure, traveling is a thing , but honestly nothing beats having that support just a moments away. Silver is literally the sweetest and wants to support his dad , but who's going to support him????!?! Lilia is putting him in a position where Silver feels the need to be strong and hide his tears for Lilias sake, but of course this is hard on him, its so sudden, too! Being so close to your parent and next thing you know mere days later they are stripped away from your arms?!

I just want to give them all hugs. Lilia obviously has some issues and misconstrued ideas of love (a million people have made posts and comments on this, so I will not repeat it) and I just. Need them to all sit around and be their mediator while we go thru their emotional states.

Ugh. I was in my twst burnout stage and still low key am, but fuck does it spark so much passion in you 😭😭

[simpfordemetri]

FIRSTS WITH DEMETRI AND FELIX PLEASE <3

(SEPERATE) I LOVE YOUR BLOG AND UR SO PRETTY

-💗

FIRST W/DEMETRI AND FELIX VOLTURI

DEMETRI VOLTURI

FIRST KISS

Your first kiss with him was out of pure anger,you two started a relationship not long ago,many arguments went on by the last week but this one had you going crazy.

Yelling at him and on the edge of throwing everything at him,he grabbed your face kissing you,leaving you begging for air.

The fight ended.

FIRST TIME CUDDLING

Demetri is clingy,he loves everytipe of phisical contact and it will be shame if you dont

So the first cuddle was nothing really special,dats after getting together he had you all cuddle up by his side,face on your nick smelling your scent

FIRST TIME HOLDING HANDS

The moment he met you,after being explained everything in the throne room,they told Demetri to show you your room

To make sure you followed him,he grabbed firmly your hand as he guided you

FIRST TIME GETTING HEATED

He is not someone whi is afraid or shy about sex so he will literally make himself know at how much he wants to fuck you

Make outs session with him are almost something daily between you two ,so probably in one if them you were on his lap,and his hand slipped thro your panties,he ended up helping you ride his fingers

FELIX VOLTURI

FIRST KISS

It was funny because he was terrified of you,more specifically of him crashing you,si actually you two were having an argument on why he didnt show any affection to you,until you told him if he thinks you are gross or smh

He kissed you so hard that you forgot what the argument was about

FIRST TIME CUDDLING

After that kiss,he tried to be more secure when it comes to affection,repeating to himself that he is not going to hurt you

The first time he let himself getting that close to you was to calm you down,a thunderstorm were scaring the living out of you and he distracted you showering you in love

FIRST TIME HOLDING HANDS

At the same time he cuddle you,he took your hands in his and gave kisses to your knuckles every now and then

FIRST TIME GETTING HEATED

He really tries not to while you are human,but hates to see you needy and do nothing about it

So when you started touching yourself after saying “Alright,im doing it by myself”

He let out a loud growl and suddenly you were moaning his name

[yc-idkwhy]

Rent a Room

(HII. First fic. This is basically a Solangelo/Heartstopper fic. Couldn't find one so had to do it myself smh. In this Will rents a room to stay at Charlie's house and ye they meet. Everyone meets and allat. This takes place after The Sun and The Star in the riordanverse timeline and as for osemanverse, I haven't read the books so this is all TV show. It takes place after S3.. excuse any grammar pls... Enjoy!)

Chapter 1:- Herb

-----• Will Solace •-----

Will had just had a crazy night. Not in the fun time sense tho. Well, he supposed it was all fun and light but that didn't stop the fact he always had endless injuries to fix after every capture the flag game. Not that he minded, like every other camper Will always enjoyed Capture the Flag and never had a problem with the aftermath. Despite all the blood it was always just fun and games, as wrong as that sounds, it's the demigod life and the only negative thing about it is how tired he feels. Will finally closes up the infirmary and starts walking back to his cabin. He sees Nico on the porch of Cabin 13 drinking something and kisses his forehead muttering goodnight before reaching his own bed five minutes later and collapsing. Asleep before he even hits the mattress.

-------------------

A white light conquers Wills vision and fades into what seems like a hospital waiting room. "A dream" Will thinks. It doesn't feel hostile. Not at all. Quite a peaceful one to be honest. Peaceful enough that Will feels completely safe knocking on the Doctors office. Atleast that's what he thinks it is. He didnt check for any signs. He might not feel like sleeping right there on the ground anymore but he's still groggy. "Hello?" he says.

Will is met with an adult man who looked like he was in his early 30s. Smile lines around his eyes. And a kind expression to go with it. He had a neatly trimmed beard and short grey and black curls on his head. Will almost noticed the mans eyes. Bright blue like the sky on a perfect sunny day. Identical to his own. Wills gaze settles on a staff that lied on the doctors desk. Black with a snake wrapped around it. Not Hermes' staff, that was a different colour and had two snakes on it. This one belonged to..... "Asclepius?"

"Hello Will Solace. Welcome to my office." Will had never ever met Asclepius before but he was definitely one of Will's favourite gods. Not only was Asclepius Will's brother but also always answered whenever Will prayed for him. Years ago he did it almost daily, back when he was new at camp and wanted to fill his head with all the medical information he could get. When he learned about Asclepius he made sure to go and pray to him whenever he had any questions and each night, without failure, Will would get a dream showing the exact answer of his question with a real life scenario playing in his head.

For some reason with a mix of Will's usual sunshiny-ness, Will jumped over and gave Asclepius a hug, pulling away a few short seconds, smiling as bright as sunlight.

"Hold your horses, Mini dad," Asclepius said laughing lightly. "Won't you like to know why you're here?"

Asclepius tapped his hand on a page of a book will just realized was lying on the desk alongside the staff.

The page was about some rare herb. Apparently found by Asclepius himself back in his demigod days. It had some medical properties, that was obvious. The book said Asclepius had left the herb there with the intention of returning to it in the morning. Leaving nothing to guard it as it was quite a barren land and nobody would've taken it. But before that could happen little demigod Asclepius passed away of natural causes. (ehm, Zeus.)

"Id always been curious about what it could do. I never found it again but I remember the area I came across it, You are a excellent demigod Will. Surely you could find it, I believe in you. And not only that but you are also one of the best healers I've seen, and the most curious.. you should go search for it, if U want to that is. this isn't a quest by the way, there is no need for any propheicies or three people rules. I was just informing you." Asclepius turned his gaze from the page to Will. "Will you do it?"

"Of course!" And just like that, Will woke up to the sunrise as usual.

In his hands was a map of the UK with a certain part circled. This must be where he will find the herb.

About an hour after the sunrise/waking up. The son of Apollo made his way out of Cabin 7. Breakfast was starting in 15 minutes but instead of going to the dining pavillion, he had another stop to make.

If there was one thing that scared every demigod at camp, it was waking up Nico di Angelo. It never scared Will though, probably because the son of Hades was also his boyfriend. Today Will was espically excited to wake up Nico. He had to tell him about the herb thingy! He invited himself to the Hades Cabin and knelt down beside Nico's Bed.

"Good morning Neeks" Will whispered softly.

No response.

Will shook him slightly.

"Nico!" He said still whispering.

"HsmmdmJsehjensdkoqwl"

"Wake up my love."

"No"

"Why not?"

"Too early"

Nico said already moving closer to Will's chest and hugging him.

"No it's not"

"Yes it is."

"It's time for breakfast! The horns almost about to sound."

"Too early"

"For me?"

That got Nico to atleast open his eyes and look up at Will.

"Will?"

"Hm?" Will says smiling.

"I hate you" Nico shoves Will and gets up to go get ready for the day. Will smiles wider.

While they walk to the Dining Pavillion, Will insists they walk slowly so he can break the news to his boyfriend.

"Guess what! Asclepius visited me in my dream today!" Without giving Nico any chance for commentary, Will excitedly explains the whole gist to him. About how he he's going to be going to the UK and everything. By the time they reach breakfast, Will is done with his news. He looks over at Nico who has a smile on his face as they sit down on the Apollo tables (gotta love those loopholes).

"Are U going to take any of Ur siblings with you?" Nico asks. "I don't think so, if I'm gone, Kayla and Austin will need to manage the cabin and all the younger ones who I definitely can't bring with me across the ocean" Will says with a laugh. "What about you? Are U gonna come with me?" Nico sighs at the question. "Diplomatic mission." He grumbles. Every so often Nico goes out for some of these missions for the underworld. He used to go without really informing anyone but ever since Nico decided to stay at camp for good, he always tells Will and Chiron first. "Well I guess I could go alone, Asclepius did say there were no people rules." Nico looks at him with a worried expression. "Alone? But-" "Relax, it's not like the UK is one of the Ancient Lands right? Nor is it the godly capital or something so if there are any monsters there it's probably only a few ones that I can handle. It's not like I'm going without any weapons" "So you'd go to Tarturuas without them but not the UK?" Will shoves at Nico who only starts laughing at the gesture. Now all Will has to do, is talk to Chiron.

After Breakfast, Will finds Chiron at the Big House, and once again Will starts his excited rambling session. When Will glances at Chiron who's wearing that "how do I say no?" Face, Will proudly shoot THOSE eyes at him. It works like a charm of course. Chiron can never say no to campers when they look at him like that. Especially if it's one the campers that have lived with him for so long.

Chiron told Will that he'd have to find a place to live. "Asclepius was right," Chiron says with a glint of pride, probably because the demigod turned god was one of his own pupils from all that time ago, "this isn't a quest, you'll have to find a room to stay. If this was a quest you wouldn't have had time for that, you'd always be on the move. Not a hotel. Too expensive for camp budget, who knows how long you'll be there. You have to get there then start all the research, it'd be impossible to find this herb without knowing the place well first. Maybe you could rent a room.... You should get started on that"

Once Chiron was done with his endless (but fair) talk about what to do and how to not be dead. Will went over to his infirmary and took out a dusty laptop from the bottom drawer of his desk that he barley used because of demigod reasons. And then started the "room in UK" hunt.

He tracked down where exactly in UK he needed to go and searched and searched until he narrowed it down into a few options. Some Old lady who had a spare room in her house. Some middle aged lady who's son went to college and said she could rent his room out. Another middle aged lady whose daughter had.... Ran away? Ok. Cancel that option. And finally, a teenager who needed some money for something and was renting out his room while sharing someone else's or something. He thought for two seconds before deciding that he would be more comfortable living with people his age rather than older folks. The teenager would also probably feel better if it wasn't an adult renting out the space. And so he contacted that one.

(I DONT KNOW HOW RENTING A ROOM WORKS OK ;-; good enough I think ALSO I PROMISE THIS HAS PROPER SOLANEGLO IN IT AND NOT JUST NICO HOVERING IN SOME RANDOM PLACE AWAY FROM THE PLOT THE WHOLE TIME)

[powderseas]

side order is here!!! its real!!! yippee

what do you think of it so far?

ok so im just gonna spit out all my side order thoughts so far

SPOILERS FOR SIDE ORDER AHEAD!!!!!!

EDIT: I ACTUALLY FINISHED THE GAME WOOO (just one run tho lol) im gonna write my thoughts under the previous stuff

OK SO. i think im a little..? dissapointed..? abt sider order?? like im kinda conflicted abt the lore, also i suck BALLS at the game

the thing is i have done 5 runs so far AND COULDNT GET A SINGLE WIN. the most i can do is up to floor 20.... im literally so bad at this game I ONCE DIED 2 TIMES IN AN EASY LEVEL. im newgen guys.

maybe im not fit for rougelike games but like... idk. i feel like me and the fandom as a whole expected so much more from side order. i feel like if the game is gonna make you replay the same stuff over and over again it should atleast have a SOUL CRUSHING LITERARY MASTERPIECE TYPE OF LORE like OE and Alterna

AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW DIRTY THEY DID FOUR???? literally called them an irrelavent loser and then sweeped them aside... THEY DONT EVEN HAVE A PALETTE ICON???? theyre not even a secret boss smh.... agent 4 had so much potential I WILL NEVER FORGIVE NINTENDO FOR THIS. and like sure the parallel canon level kind of includes four but that thing is literally an npc??? like imagine what they couldve done with the story if they had included four in it:

when four is left out from the squidbeak splatoon they try to prove themselves by siding with marina with her project. it makes perfect sense. marina and four are both scared of being seperated by their loved ones. but four gets consumed by their anger and jealousy and goes full order mode LIKE DO YOU GUYS SEE MY VISION!!!! i will be forever mad that we didnt get this.

also why is murch out of all the chracters have a pallete??? why didnt they put in captain 3 or something????? sheldon i kinda understand since hes also kinda a part of the squidbeak splatoon BUT MURCH??? get the fuck out!!!

negative stuff aside tho. i love pearl and marina so much. THIS IS THE PEARLINA GAME GUYS!!!!! pearl literally mentions that marina and her sleep in the SAME BED???? marina is so autistic. my little autism creature. SHE MAKES DINO ARMS IN THE ENDING SCENE AUGHHHHHGHHH MY HEARTTT i love marina so much AND PEARL. SUCH A SILLY GOOBER. acht is so precious too... BUT I CNAT BELIEVE THAT THEY MADE THEM WHITE*??? ACHT IS NOT WHITE NINTENDO. anyways i love eight and her little found family full of lesbians. they are all lesbians your honor. we are raising lesbians in this house.

so yeah. i hope i can finish the run atleast ONCE. but like. idk i havent finished the game but side order jsut makes me feel. sad... and lonely...?? unlike octo expension where you could see more and more people using the metros and the chatrooms between marina and pearl are just AUUGGHHH OE IS A GAME. ABOUT CONNECTIONS OK. it makes me feel warm and happy and even though eight became traumatized i like to think that she healed and in the process met so many important people in her life.

in side order i dont see anything in eight*??? is she traumatized??? is she vibing??? is she happy to help??? I LITERALLY CANT TELL. side order makes me feel so cold and empty like do you guys understand what i mean. and its probably becasue it doesnt even take place in the real world. and the thing is. i understand that side order is supposed to be everything that OE couldnt be. i understand that. both games have their own quirks BUT. i just cant seem to make myself love it unlike any other story mode in splatoon...... im really trying to be not biased here but yeah. these are my opinions for side order

AFTER GAME THOUGHTS

HELLO. so yes i somehow managed to win the game. and honestly. the final boss was pretty fun and everyone was so cute at the end omg... but i still think that side order is a bit underdevloped.... i dont even know if ill try to %100 is cuz playing it makes me SO STRESSFUL im glad i get to finish a run BUT i will definetly not be touching side order atleast for a while.... but despite i had plenty of stuff i didnt like in side order the ending managed to make me forget all that haha

[cloudcountry]

Hello again, and congrats for your 1k!! WOOO!! 🎉🎉🎉 I've just recently follow you and I instantly fall in love with your writing ((I stumble upon like real people do series))

If i may ask how much have you progress in NB? Have you read the new lesson?? 😭😭😭

If you have, I would request for sol's version— since idk why the dev didnt put sol's part in there ((probably him being busy))

If not! I would love to read some serious talking between MC and Solomon about their relationship.. like, well you know right Solomon have been through like A LOT.

Once again, congrats!! 🎉🎉 You deserve it (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

thank you!!!!! that series is my pride and joy i worked so hard on it and the feedback for it has been so !#@!@#!@!@!@!!!@!@!@!@!!!!!!!!!! /pos

i'm like halfway through lesson 12,,, i didnt get to it until like two days after its release and my cards are pretty weak (OBEY ME STOP HAVING CRAZY STRENGTH JUMPS BETWEEN LESSONS CHALLENGE ITS LITERALLY THE 12TH ONE!!!!! makes me worried for lesson 20 smh)

this isn't exactly a one word prompt but meh its cute so!! plus ive gotten SO MANY solomon rqs for the event i love you guys C: thank you again!! ^^ <333

SPOILERS FOR OBEY ME NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 12

The door opens once again.

Nobody should be in your room this late. Not any of the brothers, at any rate.

“Hey, MC.” Solomon sighs, kneeling at your bedside.

Your heart thunders in your chest at the tender look on his face, eyebrows furrowed and lips twisted into a wry smile. If you didn’t know him any better, you’d say he found this amusing. That’s probably what he likes to think.

“It’s been a while. Three days too long.” he says, reaching out to you, “You’ll come back soon though, right? You wouldn’t want to leave me all lonely.��

He cups your face, brushing his thumb over the skin. He mumbles something about how you’re still warm and that’s good, but it breaks your heart because that means his mind is telling him you might be dead. You wish you could move, you wish you could pull him into bed next to you and thank him for everything he’s done for you. He’s put himself in the most dangerous of situations, even braving time itself to come back and save you. He made sure you weren’t alone and stayed with you when you needed someone the most, and yet he still feels as though he’ll never be enough for you.

At this rate, he’ll destroy himself for you.

But Solomon just laughs. He sucks in air through his teeth as if he’s in pain, and for a second you can see a grimace on his face.

“I’ll have some of your favorite snacks for you when you come back to me.” he whispers, leaning over your body like a safety blanket, “I’ll make them myself. I’ll make them just for you.”

He kisses your forehead, and you feel a cold drop of something hit your skin.

Tears.

Your heart shatters in your chest as Solomon leaves.

[penaltyboxboxbox]

Ok so what happened to lance's neck? I know you were like "get that removed" before...

i got so many asks today about lance face bump oh my god.....am i the cyst guy did i unintentionally make myself that guy.......FIRSTLY IM GLAD ITS GONE......secondly i am not a dermatologist im just playing pretend with this weird skin talk ok putting this under the cut im not a doctor

but i think he just had an epidermoid cyst that he was for WHATEVER REASON too lazy to go get removed....literally why. i thought maybe it might be more involved like a ganglion cyst or something more involved w the joint of his jaw or smthn and thats why he was waiting to do anything about it but then he didnt do anything about it during break so like 😐 lance take care of yourself. and then with how short notice the "infection" announcement was and the fact he was literally at the track two seconds afterwards i straight up think this bitch either accidentally or purposefully popped the thing finally without realizing how much of a shitshow a cyst that size is. anyways. that or it finally actually did get infected and thus he finally had to do something about it. smh my head at him he shouldve just TAKEN CARE OF IT EARLIER !!!!! MEN CARE ABOUT SKIN CARE CHALLENGE !!!!!!!!!!!! anyways dr pimple popper rant over hope lance gets well soon

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

From the ✍️ more fic writer asks: questions 10, 14 and 23! :)

Thank you for the asks! Sorry the answer took a while!

From this post!

10. What is the longest amount of time you’ve let a draft rest before you finished it?

So in the last post i talked about my longest ongoing fic so this time i'll use the two ive finished that i let sit for a while.

Unbroken

Started Writing: June, 2018

Finished: April 2024

Total writing time: 5 years and 10 months

Longest Haitus: about 4 years, between finishing the first 3 or 4 chapters in 2018 and beginning posting in 2022.

A little about why I put it down and why I picked it back up: In the beginning it was a mediocre idea. I was extremely committed to it. excited about it. Basics, which I'd just watched for the first time in 15 years that year bothered me. so. much. all bark and no bite. I wanted it to feel like a realistic conflict, with all the pain and shock and strategic, accidental, and opportunistic cruelties that entails. And in some ways i also wanted an outlet to process some of the more horrific conflicts i had been learning about in class.

But I was a relatively inexperienced writer still. and i was nervous. I'd never written something so dark before. something that inflicted such non-canonical harm on a main character. GoT had just recently come under a lot of fire for writing rape and gratuitous violence into its TV show that werent part of the books, and so it was hard for me to sort out how what I was doing was any different. Combined with reading criticism at that time of writers who wrote rape into their fics and I got cold feet fast. I didnt yet have the stable fandom friendships that would later be able to encourage me, and i also didnt yet have the self confidence to encourage myself.

Im not upset about the haitus though. In that 4 years of sitting on the story, i grew a lot as a writer. i grew so much! ultimately when I picked it back up i not only had the confidence and the encouragement i had lacked before, but i also had the experience and the skill to navigate my plot and to find the balance i needed between showing the true horror and devastation of the violence without making it gratuitous. I threw out a subplot about finding a water source in favor of a subplot exploring Suder's mental health and letting little used lower decks characters have a moment in the spotlight. I tossed most of the canon deaths in favor of showing how the crew could cope with disabiling injury or illness, and how different characters would react to the survival circumstances. My only regret by the end was that I realized too late how interesting it would have been to keep Seska alive and on board. But i'd planned so much of that fic series without her by then that keeping her alive would have thrown future plans into disarray.

I also have to shout out my three betas: Red, CAMIR, and BlackVelvet. They really pushed me to lean into the darkness and explore it fully, rather than shy away and show it from a distance. that made what i had by the end something i was so happy with and proud of. im so grateful they held my feet to the fire and helped me finish this!

Sailor Moon H, Half Blood Prince,

Started: May 2016

Finished: May 2021

Longest Hiatus: 2017 or 2018-2020

Why I put it down and how I picked it back up: I can blame lots of the hiatus on grad school and the rest on despising the WIP.

Unbroken really benefitted from not being very far along in 2018 when I put it down. When i picked it up again i had the bones of an old story to build on. But SMH Half Blood Prince was much farther along by the time i had to put it down (150k-200k). It was the last story i ever wrote without a good outline. when i picked up the draft again i was a different writer... and I despised it. It was long (the final word count was 305,000). Meandering. It didnt know where its focus should be. I had written my first nonbinary characters and the effort felt bad and clumsy. And I had too many characters and too many ships. i knew i would either spend years finishing it or send it off with plotholes a mile wide.

Ultimately I loathed not finishing it more than I loathed its imperfections. So I picked plotholes in favor of a tighter ending I liked, with a solid set up for a final story. i think of in fondly now, as my favorite failure, and im outlining the final story to, hopefully, not become such an unfocused behemoth.

14. Where do you get your inspiration?

A lot of my initial inspiraton comes from canon that bothers me or teases me with some intriguing question that isnt addressed or isnt completely answered on screen. but especially with Star Trek a lot of inspiration comes from my friends, all sorts of conversations and "what ifs" and "wouldnt it be funny" sort of prompts and back and forths that really get me thinking!

Other times it's real life inspirations: Conflicts or problems or travel that just sparks... something. its hard to put into words. Basically if i have enough time to brood over something an idea wil definitely come out of it!

23. pick three keywords that describe your writing.

hmmm...

Lengthy, Sensory, Overly-researched.

[tinylilvalery]

people are taking matthews quote from a recent interview out of context abt tomgreg (he said he didnt play it as romantic but thinks it's fun that the fans see it that way) and claiming it means tomgreg is dead and he hates it... i'm so frustrated with this goddamn fandom smh...

It's interesting that he said that (I haven't seen the interview) considering how he acted Tom, but also people gotta realise

1. It's shipping... You can ship things whether actors ship it themselves or not. Hell, William Shatner has said time and time again that Jim Kirk is heterosexual, and yet you can watch TOS and see how Jim interacts with Spock and like... I really don't need to explain, I'm sorry sksnsk. So I look at Tomgreg the same way if it's really true MattMac doesn't ship it (again, idk what he said, but if he did say that these are my thoughts on shipping even when an actor doesn't). I have very close friendships and I don't behave in the way Tom does with Greg, but that's just me 🤷‍♀️. To summarise I'd say, it's like death of the author actor, because the performance itself transcends the actor's comments on it after the fact.

2. Actors aren't solely responsible for the character and the characters relationships W others, therefore they can't really take full credit of the character. Yes they embody and bring them to life, but there's also the script (multiple writers), the showrunner, as well as editing and direction as all the other massive contenders as to who creates the characters and the relationships on screen. As a writer myself, I do find it really um,, like very irritating¿ that people keep anointing actors as the sole creator of a character. They interpret script and bring it to life with direction but they didn't write the character and so they didn't create it. Kieran Culkin's acting practice is that he doesn't like to know where his character is heading, so he lives in the present and episode to episode when acting Roman. What I mean by this, is regardless of Kieran, there was ALWAYS a set path for Roman as to where he was headed in each season, and it didn't matter what Kieran was up to, his plotline still existed despite not knowing it. Does that make sense? My point is, whether an actor knows it or not, things are written in by writers, and I consider Tomgreg VERY MUCH a part of the text and subtext of the show.

So to summarise, if MattMac really said he didn't play Tomgreg as romantic and doesn't see them that way he basically achieves Death of The Actor because his performance speaks louder to me than his comments about his approach to acting Tom. Tom looks at Greg with such adoration that I've never seen him look at another character, he speaks to him in tones that he doesn't speak to other characters in, so again, his acting transcends his post comments. And SECONDLY, MattMac's comments still aren't a ship killer to me because he didn't actually create Tom alone. He interpreted the character, brought him to life, and definitely would have had say + freedom in his performance considering what we know of Succ's production, but he didn't CREATE Tom. That credit is owed to the writers who literally wrote Tom, and wrote Tomgreg's scenes how they did. The credit is also owed massively to editors in how they edited all the many hours of footage to portray Tom and Greg's relationship as we saw it.

We all know Succession is an incredible show. There's so many undercurrents happening all at once that surface at various times in forms of parallels and callbacks. I think it's funny to think that despite the pedigree of Succession, something as massive as Tomgreg was some sort of shared hallucination. It wasn't. Tomgreg is part of the sauce, and they're an intentional ingredient.

[allbeendonebefore]

today was a total wash, I had to ask where to go for volunteering since there was No info and just as I was about to leave the house at 11am i got the email that oh actually It's Already Been Finished for a Week and im like

i literally i planned my whole weekend around this, like i was going to meet the person I would be volunteering with on Saturday, I was going to get myself a specific treat after, I made sure to actually eat breakfast which i never do, I already input my work hours for this, literally about to go cross town and I'd even coordinated picking up some materials for the exhibition to drop off on site and get some work done (which was also a total wash due to the office closing and getting stuck in traffic for ten minutes after barely even leaving the house!) I packed my library book to return on the way and planned Conversation Topics about Professional Things Hell, I Even Made Cookies because i wanted to befriend my coworkers that i never see because I work 99% remotely, and like they didn't even have the courtesy to tell me?? what would have happened if i'd actually crossed town and showed up without emailing first?

like im not mad at anyone in particular and I know organizing something like this is a complicated deal and I bet everyone involved is already exhausted but i signed up as a volunteer to get free admission and i'd like to at least feel like i've earned it yknow?? and i could have been like. meal prepping or getting other work done or relaxing but nope entire day down the drain aarrhghghg

at least i had the athenian archon poll to entertain me today smh. tomorrow should be better but also worse. and then i have to be up at 6 at LEast on saturday and be there All Day so its like i am Annoyed that I could have been doing my work which actually has a deadline arrghghgh. and on top of that since i aged another year recently and haven't been stretching Of Course i slept funny and now i feel like i need to be cracked like a glowstick before i can be normal aaAAAAAAA

and then on top of that my neighbours didnt move their car so only one side of the street got swept >;T rocks in my eyes for eternitYYYY

[stillfertile]

A, X, Y?

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

fall asleep, please I think is my favorite, probably because it would be a fic I would love even if I didnt write it myself. I wrote it for Me and Me only (but yall can enjoy it too ig smh). Also the end is perfect for a sequal so I can continue it whenever I get inspired to, so that feels nice :)

X: How would you categorize your fanfic reading?  Are you a voracious reader?  Do you carefully pick and choose?  Something in between?

depends on the pairing, if its a small pair Ill lick the tag clean, but if its a big pair Ill be more picky

Y: What are your thoughts on your personal satisfaction with something you’ve written vs. the popularity of your stories?  Do you tend to be most satisfied with your most popular stories?  

not really, I know theres logic behind the numbers. Im very satisfied with De Foifer und s Weggli ha (To Have It All) but when I posted it I knew it would get very little hits because its literally the only fic featuring these players. I know smut gets less kudos compared to non-smut fic. Theres reasons behind why some of my fics are more popular than others, and the writing has little to do with that.

[onlynatureknows]

Y’all Eating Pinecones? - For my Plant Based Girlies

But no fr, y’all eating pinecones yes or no

So, I made a facebook when i was about 11 (ik illegal) so i could post super cool pictures in my brother’s snapback caps. I think facebook had seen about 5 logins from me since then. Recently, I have been trying to use facebook more as a social network building tool & I have joined quite a few groups. While scrolling through one of the facebook groups last night, just before bed, i saw a post about “cinnamon pinecones.” I said heyooooooo! Cinnamon. Pinecones. It was a photo of pinecones that were boiled in water with cinnamon and perhaps other spices ( i didnt dig deeper into the ingredients as the photo was enough to awaken the African aunty in me). & All the comments were very serious and educational about the benefits of eating pinecones. Still to now now - i say heyoooooo! This be plant based life? Come now to eat common pinecone? Hey!

Okay, let me stop joking. Like i said, the comments on this post were very serious and educational. I am well aware of the medicinal benefits of pine needles and other parts of the pine tree when taken as tea. I just never knew the actual pine cone was edible. I guess its similar to how people eat artichoke? I have also never eaten an artichoke, but i can imagine its pretty close to eating a pine cone. I think. Is the pine cone crunchy? Maybe it becomes soft when boiled. Does it have a woody flavor? If I ever discover an African pinecone, Ill have to try it… with cinnamon.

Being plant based, yes plant based not vegan, has been an interesting journey for me. Coming from a West African background, I do have a certain palette. I like nice food, food with seasonings, food that hydrates me. I absolutely cannot do dry & bland. I’d rather not eat. I have no quarrel with the plant based lifestyle except when it comes to the seasoning & texture of food. Being plant based for me cannot and does not mean bland food. Even raw food can be made delicious! But maybe I am too worried about deliciousness.

I say all this to say - I am still healing my relationship with food. Being plant based & experiencing different native cultures in Africa is purifying my perspectives. Indigenous food is often not very flavorful, and would not get a stamp of deliciousness approval from the West African Aunties. Plant based native food is mineral desnse & often bitter. Again, deliciousness is not a factor. But - God is the chef so who am I to judge? It makes me think again how confused us humans are. The natural food provided by the Most High, designed for our bodies, nutrition packed, and filled w/ information from the Earth, is not enough. We think we are smarter than the creator, so we create our own “food.” Its hilariously sad.

Seeing the pinecone post made me realize, I still hold certain food prejudices. Yes, food prejudice is real. I most definitely looked at those cinnamon pinecones and thought, “That has to be some white people food.” Smh. That “white people food” is actually very nutritional, medicinal, and healing. More nutritional than my pounded yam and peanut stew. And this is exactly why us “Black people” have health issues. You know what they say, eat to live! So I must judge myself - I need to consciously work through these food prejudices, worry less about flavor, and focus more on value. Our food must be valuable, our food must be an offering to our vessels, the intake of food must be intentional & almost ceremonial. Fine, no peanut stew, I’m working on it. But, for now I have to ask:

[absurdlyinaccurate]

🚨ATTENTION!!!!!🚨

I need help™️

At the beginning of this schoolyear, some of my (now old) friends ganged up on me and beat me in a verbal argument. I was extremely shocked, bc I thought they were my real friends. Turns out, my "best friend" of them all turned them against me. For no reason other than me "being too mean", aka being to sarcastic for them. I was so shocked that the shock outweighed my anger and I didn't stand up for myself in the argument. Tomorrow is my last day of school, and I want to put a few words in with them. They all seemed to get satisfaction from thinking that they got in the last and best word, but I can't let that slide. I need really good, short, preferably profanity-filled insults to say to them.

One of them thinks she is smarter than me, despite the fact that I've always had better grades. She accused me of being "negative on her mental health". Bbg we in highschool, everyone here has depression. Smh

The other is a pride and true slut, and I've just got to call her out for it, the bitch turned everybody against me and talk about me behind my back. Told my crush that I used to bully her, when it was her that bullied me.

And the last one, she don't know what the hell she doin with her life. She broke up with my best friend by text, without giving him a reason (told us she just didnt want a bf, despite having one for about half a year, in a GREAT relationship), and got mad at me when I told her she should have been nicer about it

Anyway, i plan on doing a hit-and-run in the hallway, preferably poping off and walking away like a queen. But the problem is, I'm terrible at insults, despite being incredibly sarcastic.

Please please please please please give me some good insults to use!!!!!! 🙏 🙏 🙏