#but i wanted to sort of show how i really feel about him

[lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom]

Hello! I would like to make a request about Dae-Ho, a character I love. I would like the story to show how Dae-Ho and the reader develop a special connection during the games, despite being on opposite sides. She is part of Thanos' team, but they still interact frequently. On one of those nights, they kiss and promise to get to know each other better once it's all over. However, that promise is not fulfilled because she dies in the carousel game.

I hope this story fits the bill. Happy holidays! <3

Anything Is Possible?

KANG DAE-HO X READER

Summary- You are number 230's, rapper Choi Su-bong, sister. Just because you are on 'Thanos Team', does that mean you can Dae-Ho cant get together? Will you survive long enough?

Warnings- Squid Games, Angst, mentions of blood, murder, and death

A/N- I combined this ask with another anon request, "badass reader and daeho! maybe she is related to 100 and that's why the romance is kind of forbidden but she doesn't agree with his actions and thinks daeho is very cute. I would love a first kiss between the two, which she initiated and he was all embarrassed but really excited" I hope y'all don't mind, they were very similar!

Word Count- 4,605

"What is your problem!" You found yourself yelling at your brother. While this was not uncommon, the situation surely was. Thanos the rapper, or just known as Choi Su-bong to you, had pushed several people down on purpose. This killed them in the Red light, Green light game.

"You killed them!" You continued, though he did not seem to care.

"Look, as far as 'The Thanos' is concerned, each body means more cash for MOI!" He spoke, uncaring.

"Oh, and if it was me, would you let me get shot!" You crossed your arms, eyeing him up and down.

He looked around, checking for any guards. He then slipped out his cross form under his shirt. You knew he had some kind of drug in there.

"Look, if it will shut you up, you can have one. But keep your mouth closed!" He ushered his cross in your direction. You rolled your eyes.

"I'd like to at least be aware of my surrounding in a death defying game!" "Shhh, Shhhh!" His face scrunched up as he looked at you, offended. He thought someone might have been drawn to your choice words.

You scoffed and walked off, sitting on the edge of a bed to catch a train of thought.

With a puff, you pressed your head into your hands. Could you really go on like this? Risking your life? Then it hit you, your life was over either way. Loan sharks were bound to kill you the second you left... Might as well go out with a bang?

The gruesome thought lingered until you felt the bed sink next to you.

"Thanos, I don't want to-" You looked up to not see your brother. Instead a man with a '388' on his jacket.

"Well I'm not sure who 'Thanos' is, but are you doing okay?" He looked genuinely concerned.

You started at him for a second, "Like fifty people just died..."

He faltered, "W-well yeah... Obviously you aren't okay... I just, I saw you arguing with that guy... The one with purple hair." You sigh again at his response. Well, this might be the last conversation you ever have. Why not be an open book!

"That's my brother. He thinks since he got one hit song, he can boss anyone around." You again rolled your eyes at the thought of him.

"Oh... I see. I-I have three older sisters, I know how it can get." He said, trying to offer you some sort of condolence.

You gave a side smile at him, appreciative of his efforts. "Thanks... What got you into these games?" You figured there's no reason for 'proper exchanges.' What was the point anymore?

He seemed ashamed at the question. "Sorry, if it makes you feel any better- I'm about 30 million won in debt. Some online crypto coin my brother swindled me into. Lost big time." You explained.

He shook his head, "No, no, its fine. See, I was a marine. Couldn't find a job after I got out. Guess I just got carried away with the wrong people... Got into some bad loans."

You gave a sympathetic face. "That sucks..." He just nodded sheepishly.

A silence fell between you two, but it wasn't awkward or annoying. It just...was.

"Well, uh, which are you going to vote?" He asked like it had been on the tip of his tongue all day.

As the Guards had told us earlier, we would get a chance to vote before the next game. Stay or Go.

"My brother seems pretty adamant on staying... And I honestly don't think it would be smart to piss him off anymore. He's got me in his little clique already." You didn't really know which one you would have chosen if the vote was anonymous.

He nodded in understanding. "I mean, I don't have a groupie or anything. But, you could stick with me if you wanted."

Your heart fluttered. Looking up at him, you seemed to just notice how handsome he was... Then reality hit.

"I deeply appreciate that... But I think you might have better odds without me. Choi- uh Thanos, would probably do something to you... I don't really want to risk it, I'm sorry." You knew that you really did want to be on his team, but you also knew how your brother was.

He had a slight look of defeat on his face, "I get it. I feel confident about the next game. I mean, if they're all children games, how hard can it be? I'll vote the same as you."

You agreed, "Then, maybe I can talk to Thanos? See if he wants another member?" You smiled at him.

He opened his mouth to speak, happily, but the two of you were interrupted when the pink guards came back in. Letting everyone know it was time to vote.

"See ya on the other side." You said, standing up to rejoin Thanos. Plus his newly acquired group of 3.

"Yes ma'am!" He responded, giving a small salute. You just laughed as you glanced at him a last time.

------------------------------------------

"Are you crazy!" Thanos whisper-yelled at you, turning the two of you away from the group. "Are you tryna embarrass me in front of my boys!" He scolded you like a child. His arms and shoulders going up.

"It's not that big of a deal, he was a marine, he could be good for us." Thanos just "tsked' in response.

"No. We are already perfecto. No more room." He said as-a-matter-of-fact. His arms making an 'X.'

You turned and looked at the two men staring at you. "Thanos, there are four of us in total. What if the next game is five players!"

"Huh, and what if its four! Then I'd be pushing YOU out, Cause of ya mouth." He made faces at you, then laughed loudly. "I'm just joking sistah! I'd only do that if you really pissed me off.... We are sticking to four." His expression turned serious.

"Fine."

At a mere coincidence, you turned around and saw '388' staring at you. You mouthed a 'sorry' and shook your head. Signalling Thanos said 'no.'

He nodded, then smiled at you anyways. At that, you watched him walk over and sit with a group of 'X's.

------------------------------------------

The lights soon went out. You laid back in your bed, trying to get some kind of sleep. It was useless, especially when you heard a 'psst' right next to you.

You turned your head, playing cool, even though it did startle you a bit. "Shh, It's just me." The voice rang familiar, and when you squinted your eyes in the dark your made out number 388's face. He was on his knees, crouched down next to your bed.

"What are you doing!" You whispered at him, sitting up quickly. Thanos and his two members were just a bed away.

"Shhhh, I have something to tell you." He said, his hands were waving slightly, a nervous tick.

You eyed him, moving closer. "What?"

"One of the guys has played these before. He said he won the games...That he knows which one is next."

Your hands rise to rub sleep from your eyes, "Really? You think he's telling the truth?"

With a frantic nod he continues, "It was the guy who knew about the Red light, Green light. Number 456."

You looked down, "Why are you telling me this..." You questioned, unaware of any kind of unconditional kindness.

"I want you to survive, why else?" You locked eyes with him. They were honest and pure.

"Well, what's the next game?" You didn't know how to respond to such generosity. For all he knew you would stab him in the back. Not that you could bring yourself to, not after he snuck over to tell you.

"He said its Dalgona. Ya know, the game where you scratch out the candy shape?" You knew the game, having played it in your youth.

"Make sure you pick the Triangle. It's the easiest one." You nodded.

At that, a shuffle made both of you turn your head. Thanos moved in his sleep, rolling over. His eyes were closed, but he was now facing you.

"You better go, in case he wakes up." You warned, not wanting any drama.

His head shook in agreeance, he raised to walk off.

"Wait!" You whispered, he looked back. "What's your name?"

"Dae-Ho. Dae-ho Kang."

"Thank you, Dae-ho..." The corners of your face rose, almost grinning at yourself saying his name.

He gave a small wave of his hand, another salute. You suppressed a giggle, and laid back down. Sleep came easier this time...

------------------------------------------

"Welcome to your second game, this game will be played in teams. Please divide into teams of five in the next ten minutes."

You looked around, Dalgona was not a team game. Had Dae-Ho lied to you? No, why else would he sneak over in the middle of the night. It didn't make sense. Maybe 456 was lying?

"Should have listened to me, now we have to find another person." You remarked to your brother, smugly.

"Trust trust, my skeptic sister. Thanos has got this under control!" He spoke about himself, immediately levitating to the closest attractive women. You, once again, found yourself rolling your eyes.

"Señorita, excuse me?" You wanted to physically face palm at his attempt at a pickup line.

------------------------------------------

Quickly enough, time selection was up. Everyone was orderly sat in their groups. Conveniently, Dae-Ho and his group sat behind you.

"Dae-Ho." You called, moving to be in his range of sight.

"Ahh, hey!" He said, excitedly. His demeanor changing from skittish when he saw you.

"So, what happened to Dalgona?" You asked, not blaming him- just curious.

He gave an unsure face, equally as confused. "He said the games must not be the same. I'm sorry."

"What for?" You beamed, knowing it was not his fault.

He laughed, "I guess I don't know.."

You just shook your head humorously. "Which game are you going to do?"

"Uhmm, Gong-Gi... My sister's played it a lot, so I'm used to it."

"They've got me doing spinning top. I was never any good at Gong-Gi." You made a glance to Thanos, he was high out of his mind. You caught him slipping Nam-Gyu a pill. He didn't notice you talking to Dae-Ho.

"I wish you the best of luck!" He gave a quick bow of the head.

------------------------------------------

The game went smoothly enough. Though, it took much longer than Red light, Green light. Watching all of the teams go one at a time was excruciating.

A handful of words exchanged with Dae-Ho while waiting was calming, it grounded you. He had nothing to gain by helping you, he simply did. It was flattering.

You and Dae-Ho had figured out that his team was going last. It was nerve-wracking to think about him not making it. No one had ever effected you like this before...

Eventually your team went, suffering frequent verbal degration from Thanos and Nam-Gyu. Thankfully your team made it with 8 seconds to spare. Too close for your comfort.

The worst part came when you had to wait. You felt like you could hear a large clock ticking right by your ear.

Would Dae-Ho's team make it? You didn't doubt his Gong-Gi skills, but he was dependent on the skills of his team mates as well. It was terrifying to think they were shot with not enough time to complete the games.

You couldn't bare Thanos bantering, he complained about every survivor. It just made you more paranoid about Dae-Ho's possible death.

Trying to settle your mind, you stepped away from your group, preferring to sit by yourself on the edge on the steps. You picked at your nails, praying he would make it.

Minutes and minutes went by. No one had come out in a while. Was the game finished? Did they die?

Just as you were about to return to your brother hopeless, one last group appeared.

A gasp left you as you watched Dae-Ho's team emerge. You stood up, cheering with a handful of other players. Your hands were clasped gleefully In front of you.

Dae-Ho's gaze was fixed on you, he chuckled. His first raised in victory.

You gave him a salute back.

------------------------------------------

You managed to slip away from Thanos. He was too busy hitting on Se-Mi. You were grateful for her, it took some of the pressure and attention off of you. You had to remember to thank her later.

"Dae-Ho!" You called out, he turned around and stepped away from his group.

"You were amazing! You went 'Wooshhh' and got the top first try!" He was practically bouncing on his heels. He mimicked the process of spinning a top with his hands and body.

"Thank you, Thank you." You pretended like you were bowing to an applauding audience.

"How did Gong-Gi go?" You asked, antsy. He rubbed the back on his neck.

He grinned deep, "Would you believe me if I said I got it first try too?"

Your face lit up, "Really!"

"I swear it!" He placed a hand across his chest.

You gave a quick clap to him, "I knew you could do it!"

You felt like a schoolgirl again. Talking to Dae-Ho made you feel like a blushing bride. He was such a ray of light and hope for you.

"What do you think the next game is?" He questioned, taking a seat on a step by the large doors.

You thought for a second, "I don't know, Maybe some kind of mind game. Since the last two have been really physical."

He nodded, "Yeah, maybe, maybe. Thats smart thinking."

You joined him on the step facing him. While you were about to change the conversation, you overheard a few people talk about what they were voting next. It reminded you of the real life-or-death situation you were in.

"So, d'ya think you're going to change your vote?" You became more solemn.

"...Yeah, I just... The others have convinced me. I mean, truly, I shouldn't have voted 'stay' in the first place..." He looked down, almost as if he had disappointed you.

"Honestly, Dae-Ho... I want to leave too... But, but, what if I press 'leave', and we still have to continue the games. Then Thanos would be pissed, and deep down I need him. He's still my brother." You hated the fact, but you were scared of what Thanos would do.

Dae-Ho thought for a moment. He mumbled something you didn't quite catch. "What?" He stood up.

"I can protect you. Honest. With my life." Your breath hitched, you stood up as well.

You shook your head, a lump forming in your throat. "Oh Dae-Ho... That's just the thing. I can't have you risking your life. Not for me."

He gently lifted your hands into his. "You are worth risking my life for."

"Dae-Ho, you don't even know my name." Your voice quivered.

He nodded quick, "Then lets change that. What's your name." You bit your bottom lip before telling him.

"Now, I can defend you from Thanos. He won't do anything to do." He ended with your name, it sounded angelic coming from his mouth.

"I'm sorry... I just... can't." You let go of his hands, fully set on walking away. But, he stopped you. He grasped your shoulder.

"Please don't go. I'll stop talking about it, I swear." He pleaded. He truly just wanted to be with you, he was content with you.

And you were with him.

You closed your eyes, shook your head. You fought off any kind of objection. "Okay."

The two of you talked and talked, time ran past. You no longer seemed to worry about the games, just that you knew you wanted to stay with Dae-Ho.

Until, the large doors opened and the pink guards once again announced a vote.

You said a quick 'goodbye' to Dae-ho, hoping the games wouldn't continue. Even if you never saw him again, at least he would be alive.

------------------------------------------

Much to your dismay, the games would continue another round. The vote wasn't even close this time. It was almost relieving, knowing that your vote was not the determining factor.

Once again, the lights went out to signify the night. You noticed teams were huddling together for protection, taking shifts and keeping watch. It was getting more serious as each hour went by. You could not find rest, feeling extremely uneasy.

While you tried to find some sort of reassurance in Thanos, he was fast asleep. You decided to take your chance and go see Dae-Ho. Just as he had done for you.

You knew the general area where his group was, but couldn't make out specific people in the dark. Not from your distance.

You racked up the nerve to quietly shuffle over. Your socks helping to muffle any noise.

"Shh, someone is coming." You heard a man whisper, it was 456. You could see the large numbers next to the 'O' on his jacket.

"I-is Dae-Ho with you..." You ask, shakily.

"And what do you want with him?" A man next to 456 spoke, defensively.

"I- Hes my friend, I need to talk to him." You tried, fiddling with your fingers.

"Yeah, Sure he is. You're probably trying to get in and take one of us out, huh!" The man 390 rose, acting like he was ready to fight.

You stepped back, "No, really, I swear I'm not!"

You heard your name, a confused Dae-Ho crawled out from under a bed. "Dae-Ho, please tell them in not trying to kill any of you."

"What?" He was still weary from sleep, rubbing his eyes. Once he saw the position you and 390 were in, He quickly stepped between the two of you.

"No, No, she wouldn't do that. Really, whatever shes saying she's telling the truth." Dae-Ho came to your rescue.

"Can we talk Dae-Ho?" You stepped closer to him, both of your hands gently resting on his arm. He nodded rapidly, stepping away from his group.

The two of you found a cluster of abandoned beds, and sat on the floor between them

"Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?" He looked you over for any visible infliction's.

"No, no I'm fine..." You pulled your knees to your chest. "I just wanted to see you." You felt silly once it left your lips.

His face flushed beet red, you could even tell in the dark. His hair falling in his face made you reach a hand out and brush it back. "O-oh"

"You never told me what you think the next game is, Dae-Ho." You needed a distraction.

He shook his head, like he was getting some thoughts out. "I have no idea... I just hope its an easy one. Gi-Hun, uh 456, said that they've already played Tug-of-war, Marbles, and some kind of glass stepping game. So, uh, I would assume none of those would repeat."

"I'm glad I missed Tug-of-war... That would mean the number of survivors would be half..." You thought.

He changed the subject, beginning with your name. "What's wrong? I know you said you wanted to see me, but, I guess I don't understand why."

"Dae-Ho, I don't really know why either. I just, wanted to be with you. I feel safe with you. I feel like I'm alone anytime you walk away..." You blinked away a stray tear.

Dae-Ho was lost in thought, he had thought his feelings weren't reciprocated. Maybe they were after all?

He didn't have time to speak, because you have lounged yourself forward in a burst of confidence. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and pushed him to the floor. He was laid on his back with you on top of him, as you pressed a hard kiss to his lips.

His eyes widened, his body went rigid. When you pulled away to look at him, he stammered. "I-I, Uhm."

At his reaction you pulled away quickly, "I'm so sorry, I thought-"

"Can you please do that again." He was now giddy, a fat smile on his face. Excitement radiated out of him. "A-are you sure.. You seemed so..."

"No, no, you just caught me off guard, please, please kiss me again." He scrambled to a sit, hoping you would come closer again.

With a refound joy, you moved closer. This time you went slow, making sure to bask in the moment. You once again wrapped your arms around Dea-Ho's neck, pulling him in for a kiss.

"You're perfect.." He mumbled against your lips. Though, he felt something wet on his face. He pulled away, his eyes soft, "Whats wrong?"

You sniffled, "Promise me. Promise me, that after everything is over, that we will find each other." You asked, pressing your cheek against his.

"I swear it, I swear we will meet after the games." He leaned in for another kiss.

------------------------------------------

"Welcome to your third game. The game you will be playing is Mingle."

Okay, this one seemed safe. You had a large group, this can work. You tried to be positive, you had someone to look forward to after the game.

"Heyyy, we'll be mingling together. Doesn't that sound like so much fun?" Thanos went on, trying to hype everyone up. The only one who was just as high as him was Nam-Gyu. It worried you that he wasn't fully aware of his surroundings, but at least he wasn't on your tail about everything.

"Please step onto the center platform. When the game starts, the platform will begin to rotate, and you will hear a number. You must form groups of that size, go into the rooms, and close the door within 30 seconds."

You nodded, understanding the rules. Everyone gathered to the platform. You noticed groups staying together, huddling close.

While following Thanos, you passed Dae-Ho's group, you caught his eye and gave him a small salute. It seemed the two of you now had an inside joke.

"Let the game, begin."

At the jump and pull of the platform, you almost lost your balance. You reached a hand out and held onto your brother. He looked over at you, for a split second he actually seemed like your brother. He was there for you.

That's until a muffled snort came from Nam-Gyu. Thanos pushed your hand off, laughing at you.

You sighed and thought of a smart remark, but the platform stopped spinning and a 'Ten' rang out.

Thanos laughed loudly, "We needa four!!" He screamed, shaking his face all about.

"Were four!" A man yelled back, and Thanos took off running. Your eyes widened and you ran after him. "Run, Hurry!" You yelled at Se-Mi, who had stopped to grab Min-Su.

Luckily everyone had made it to the room, just as the door shut the timer went off. The door locked shut. You peaked out of the doors small slit. You didn't see Dae-Ho. A good sign.

Multiple gunshots rang out, each making your body jolt.

"Ha Ha! My family! We did it!" Thanos bantered, clapping some of the men on their backs.

When the doors finally opened again, you looked around. You looked and looked for Dae-Ho. Finally sighing in relief when you saw him. He ran over to you.

"You're okay, thank God!" He hugged you, you held him tight.

You swallowed hard, "It's not over yet. I'll find you after the next round!" You said, quickly finding Thanos again.

"Yeahhhh! Easyyy!" Him and Nam-Gyu joked back and forth. They started dancing to the music as the platform started rotating again.

'Four'

Thanos stopped and looked at his group for a minute. "Gyeong-su, you're with me!" He grabbed his hand, pulling him.

"Damn!" Nam-Gyu said, gripping your arm and pulling you. While you were happy to be chosen, you were worried for Min-su and Se-Mi.

"Lets goooo!" Thanos yelled once we were all in the room.

"Thanos what was that! Gyeong-su over me!" You pointed your finger at him.

"I swear I thought I was pulling you! Besides, you gotta stop running your mouth. You made it, you're fine!"

You couldn't believe what he was saying. Sure, he talked a lot about leaving you. But it was always just talk? Right?

The door opened once again, you were thankful to be away from Thanos. Your new objective was to find Dae-Ho now.

This time, the second you saw him- you ran to him. You no longer cared about what Thanos thought, nor what he'd do.

"I'm so happy to see you." Dae-Ho mumbled into your hair, which his face had been shoved into right after you ran into his arms.

"I have to stay with you, Thanos tried to leave me. I can't make it with him." Dae-Ho didn't hesitate, and pulled you over to his group.

Though, Thanos didn't like that. "Yo, brotha. What're you doing with my sister!" He tried to shove Dae-Ho, but he was bigger and stronger.

The platform started to spin.

"Leave her alone, you obviously cant take care of your sister." He ushered you behind him.

"I don't know what you're talking about bro! I save her, shes only alive because of me and Nam-Gyu!" He argued, leaving out the crucial part of information where he wasn't the one who grabbed you.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I will keep her safe now, you can mind your own business and get along with Nam-Gyu."

They continued to yell and argue over the carousel's music, it was difficult to hear them. Until,

'Three'

Thanos gripped one of your arms, Dae-Ho held another.

"Thanos, let go!" You yelled, trying to pull from his grasp.

It was chaotic, screaming was heard around you. "Dae-Ho, this way!" Two men yelled out, Dae-Ho twisted his head but didn't move.

Your stomach dropped. You couldn't be the reason Dae-Ho would die. You were all running out of time.

"Dae-Ho, go. Please! I'll go with Thanos and Nam-Gyu!"

"I'm not leaving you!" He was adamant about protecting you. Damned everyone else.

"If you don't go, we will all die. Time is running out!" Dae-Ho battled internally, you let go of his hand.

"Go! It's okay, I'll see you in a minute!"

He didn't want to leave, he couldn't. But you made him. When he slowly walked backwards, you let out a relived sigh. You then turned to run with Thanos. Nam-Gyu was already in a room, his yelling ushering you two forward.

It was going to be okay, The three of you in a room. Everything was fine. There was time.

Until, Nam-Gyu moved out of the way... Gyeong-su was behind him... There was already two in the room. Thanos ran in, not thinking twice.

Your running came to a stop right outside of the door. Where Thanos himself had closed it on you.

A "NO!" Was heard from across the room. It was Dae-Ho. He tried to come to you, but he was too far.

Player 456 and player 001 were pulling him into a room. Forcing the door shut. You could see Dae-Ho looking out of the door slit, his hands peaking out as well.

You didn't turn to see what Thanos might have been doing. You didn't care. Not anymore.

You just wanted your last moment to be looking at the most handsome man you'd ever met. His soft eyes were filled with tears as he watched you.

You weren't upset, not scared, not nervous. Not anymore.

It would all be over soon.

You gave him one last salute before a loud bang rang out.

A/N- Not going to lie ya'll, I ate that up. But I still love hearing y'all's constructive criticism! Please LMK if you want to be added to my tag list, TYSM for reading!

Dae-Ho Taglist- @fuzzyscissorsmakerpie-blog @thethreeeyed-raven

[whatifitis]

♡ i wish you would've stayed - LN 4 ♡

Summary: you and lando had a fling and things end but did he lie? he found someone new when he said he wasn't ready.

WC: 2636

CW: angst, very small mention of weight loss, overuse of song lyrics, use of quotes i found on tiktok

How can it be that everytime someone says they aren’t ready for a relationship with you, they always end up ready for the girl after? 

You and Lando had been friends for a couple of months before you ended up developing feelings for him. Like, who wouldn’t fall for him? He’s funny, cute, and charming. You guys would talk for hours on end. Everytime you two would find something in common, it felt like the invisible string between the two of you was real. Maybe all these things were signs that you had finally met your person. 

When you were able to talk to him, it felt like everything was okay. When it felt like no one wanted you around, he did. It didn’t matter if you just had a hellish day or not, he was always able to bring you back to joy and contentness in a second. He showed you how it felt to be loved, for the first time in your life. 

When you’d confessed to him about your feelings for him, he’d said he liked you as well. You remember nearly bursting into tears as giddiness swirled in your chest. This was the first time your feelings had been well received, and it was someone who you had really grown fond of. He didn’t want to be anything yet so as to not feel pressured so early in this relationship and you understood, you were fine with it. The two of you often joked about what to call your situation as neither of you liked the term ‘situationship’ and ‘casual’ definitely wasn’t it. It was just two people who really liked each other and wanted to see how things went.

Everyday, the two of you spoke for hours at a time and it was fun. You’d shared music with each other and you’d actually grown to enjoy music from his favorite artist. When you asked him to make a playlist of all his favorite songs by the artist, he was genuinely so excited and got to work instantly. You loved seeing him so happy and you’re glad it was because of you, selfishly so. When he’d sent you the playlist, he’d named it one of the verses from a song that you had sort of dedicated to him. You really fell hard for him. 

Even though it had just been a month or so, you were excited to picture a life with him. The two of you had even planned out your future home together. The colors of the walls of every room had already been picked out and it was the happiest you had been in a long time. 

“We’re gonna have a house by the beach, yeah? And we’re gonna have a dog that’s practically our baby. And we’re gonna name it ‘Lando’.”

“Lan, why are we naming it after you?” you softly laughed. 

“Well, when I was a kid, my family had gotten a dog and it was my job to name it. As the uncreative child I was, I named it after the best thing ever. Myself.” he smiled cheekily.

“No way. Oh my god.” you couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Hold on. I’m not done painting the scene.”

“Alright, apologies, my love. Please continue.” 

“So our dog, Lando, will lie in the sheets with us. The sun will always shine and there will be a ring on your hand. On your ring finger specifically. And I’ll hold you every night.”

But he lied. He made a promise he could never keep. He tried and tried until he couldn’t. 

As time went by, his texts began to slow down. But you weren’t upset. When the two of you began this whirlwind of a relationship, he’d mentioned how with work and his mental health, he’d often go days without having the energy to talk to anyone. You understood, you’d been there before, you told him as long as he would talk to you whenever he was able, that you were going to be okay. And you were. Your days would go by where you wouldn’t get a text from him and it was okay. You were productive during the days and while you did miss him, you knew his struggles and you let him be with the occasional messages to check on him. 

Then one Thursday in the fall, your world came crashing down. You sort of knew it was coming. There were signs that you chose to ignore, hoping it wasn’t true. But then you got the text “I don’t think we should talk anymore.” You really tried to understand. He said he felt guilty for dragging you along and that he didn’t want to keep doing it to you. He said he was tired and he wasn’t able to maintain a relationship of any sort. So you said ok. That was the last time the two of you spoke. 

For weeks, you cried over this loss. It wasn’t just about essentially getting dumped. To you, he was your best friend and you lost him. That was the worst part. Not the fact that you didn’t have anyone to love anymore. Not that he just up and left. It was the fact that he was your friend before everything and you don’t have any part of him now. 

You knew you had some fault in the ending though. You’d said things that weren’t the right things to say at the time. You had messed up often. You just wish you could take those back though. You wish you could’ve said something different. Then maybe he’d still be yours. 

You told your friends what happened and it’s safe to say they all dislike him now. After everything, they started stating their opinions and talked shit about him but it didn’t help. You didn’t hate him, although you should have. You wished you could hate him and be angry, but you’re not. You’re just sad. 

Everything reminds you of him. Every song is about him. Every poem is about him. Every book is about him. The blue in the water is him. The sun shining through your window is him. His face is everywhere. His voice is everywhere. His laugh is everywhere. The laugh you thought you would get to listen to for forever, is now a stranger. 

You would find yourself still imagining things with him after the end of everything. You’d think of him in the stupidest things. You’d think of him while in the shower, how it’d be nice to have your things with his sitting along the edge of the tub. You would even imagine running out of soap so you would end up using his. You would go to work and the store wearing it. Only when in the night, when you would lay next to him in bed, would you smell where all your missing soap had gone. 

It was those stupid little things that made the healing process so much harder. 

He forgot you overnight. Meanwhile you lost your head and appetite. You ate a lot like a fly. Your anxiety had also gotten worse, making your heart race every second of the day. You thought of giving up everything. It was a dramatic thing to consider considering you couldn’t even classify what happened as a breakup, as he was never yours. 

After some time, the tears stopped. The heartbreak didn’t, but you were able to continue with your life and get through some days. Every so often, you still check on him through social media, just to make sure he’s okay. Of course, that came back to bite you in the ass when you found out he was talking to someone. 

The day you found it, your heart dropped and it felt like that Thursday all over again. All that healing had gone out the window because now everything feels like a lie. Was he making fun of you with some esoteric joke? 

He said he wasn’t ready for a relationship, that he couldn’t maintain any relationship. He said he cared about you. You believed it. You were stupid to believe it. A fool for thinking any of it was real. The house, the songs, every little thing was a lie. All you ever thought about was there the hell he was and if he was okay but he didn’t give two shits about you. There was never a you and him. And there never would be. 

You go back and forth between being angry and sad. You can’t tell if you’re making everything up in your head whether it was your relationship with him or the events after. 

Every page you wrote, he was on it. Every word you wish you could say to him. 

After letting you sulk for a few months, your friends dragged you out of the house so you could all go to a club and just have fun. There was no pressure to meet someone or walk away with someone. They said that all you owed them was to show up and have fun. So you went. 

The night was beautiful at first. After pregaming a bit, you ordered yourself a drink at the club and just let loose with your girls. Dancing the night away and not caring about tomorrow. All that mattered was right now. 

You could feel arms moving around you, your heart beating to the music, the alcohol working its magic through your system. You were glad to be there with your favorite people, when everything felt like it was falling away, you still had them. 

It was truly an amazing night until there were whispers spread across the room. Lando was there, with his new girl. The two walked hand in hand towards the back corner of the club with their group. 

What the fuck was he doing here? He could be anywhere in the world, why is he here? 

You didn’t know what to do. For the longest time, you’d imagined what you would do if you were to be in the same room as him again. You composed a hundred ways to tell him the reasons why you could’ve played for keeps, all of which would sit collecting dust, rotting in your house. 

You watched as they settled into the rhythm of the club, when Lando looked straight at you. He looked different. He looked lighter. 

Your friends caught this moment and immediately grabbed you and tried to get you to ignore them. They wanted you to show Lando that you’re better off without him, that you’re okay. So you tried. You tried to keep dancing, to keep your heavy feet moving, to act as if your heart wasn’t being dragged through you. 

You needed a minute. Telling one of your friends you were going to the restroom, you pushed through the crowd. Squeezing through a mess of entangled, sweaty bodies. You kept pushing until you found yourself on a balcony, trying to catch your breath. You moved to a more secluded spot so you could try and recuperate. 

Resting your arms on the railings, you lowered your head to try and figure out what to do. Did you want to confront him, ask for closure? Or did you just want to let it go and try to be free? 

You were caught up in your head when you heard someone clearing their throat somewhere behind you. Looking up, you were met with those hazel green eyes that you had fallen for all those months ago. 

“Hey,” Lando started “didn’t know you were here. Small world, eh?”

“Yeah. Crazy.”

“Come on. Why you being short with me?”

“Nothing. So, uh. Who’s the girl?”

“Oh, yeah. Hannah is my girlfriend. She’s pretty great.”

“Good for you. I’m glad you found someone who can love you the way you deserve. We all need someone to hold and now you found your person.” “Thanks. She helps me a lot and she knows how it feels to be alone in the rain. I guess I just needed someone to stay.” he shrugged, smiling at you. He wasn’t trying to be malicious, he was just happy that he’d found his love.

I stayed. 

“She seems great. I’m happy for you.”

Please, keep me close. 

“Yeah. You’ll find someone too. I’m sure you will.” Couldn’t you love me most?

“Yeah. Sure.”

The two of you stood there for a moment, savoring the silence for different reasons. You knew this was gonna be the end of your story with him. This was going to be the last time you would see him. He thought it was great that everything could remain civil. 

“Well, I gotta go back in.” he said, pointing behind him towards the dance floor, “I’ll see you around. Take care.”

“You too!” you shouted back before he disappeared into the blinking lights and mess of music. 

At the end of the day, you’re hopeless. He found someone better. He found someone to love. Someone to love him. 

So here you sit in the bedroom of your apartment, just missing him and wishing things were different. And you can wish all that you want, but it won’t bring you two together. No matter the things he said or did, you still loved him. 

After all this time, you would still bend back to him if he left the door open. All he had to do was say the words, and you’d play again. But who were you to ask for more? You were just a little chapter in his story while he was more to you. 

If he needed someone, he could’ve picked you. You would’ve given him everything. All he had to do was ask. And you know that can’t solve everything. You just wish he chose you. For once, you wish you had been chosen. You wish he had chosen to love you. You wish he chose you even if it was just to toy with you for longer. 

You still can’t hate him. You honestly wish the best for him. You want him to be happy, even if it means it’s not with you. You want him to have the life he’s dreamed of, with the walls of his house painted blue, red and pink. You hope he gets to go to the city his favorite artist was born in and have a drink at the bar they used to perform at. You hope he’s okay. 

You now know, you’re just not that girl. It was your own fault for not being good enough. She won him, the girl with the gold hair. That’s the girl he chose. So one day, when he walks down the aisle to complete his great love story, you hope he remembers that you’re glad to see him win. You can’t claim to be on the side of love if you can’t even support it in someone you love. It’s not fair to him. 

Your birthday falls on the 29th night of December and you stand in the middle of your kitchen surrounded by your family who say they love you. A birthday cake sits in front of you, coffee flavored, a flavor you never liked. Everyone sings you a happy birthday as you stand there, not letting the tears fall from your face. No one can see the ache in your heart and the way it feels like it’s being dragged down your body. So you just smile. 

You close your eyes to make a wish, but no wish appears as you blow out the candles, just the thought ‘Only three more days left living in a year where you loved me. Only a few more days left in a year where I've allowed myself to love you knowing you don’t’.

Wishing only wounds the heart, after all.

[rafeysdeer]

bad time (aka crampy reader and worried jason)

civil! reader x jason todd

prompt: reader has really bad cramps and is used to deal with it alone, that's until a very worried jason shows up at her front door.

a/n: that's my first time writing, i don't really like it, I feel like I failed to capture jason's essence, but, we got to start somewhere, right? also, english is not my first language, so i apologize for any mistakes, hope you guys enjoy it. 💗

Jason has a special way of taking care of the people he loves. As if, even if it didn't seem like it, he was always paying attention to everyone around him, a natural observer. So it didn't take long for him to realize that something was off when you stopped answering to his texts and just, disappeared. It wasn't like you to not answer his texts, not to mention not answering calls, knowing how his mind always went to the worst-case scenarios and he gets filled with worry.

At 10pm, too early for him to show up, since he always comes after patrol, he was knocking on your apartment door, waiting, hopefully, that you were okay.

When the girl, who was usually a sunshine, opened the door, wearing a sweatshirt, her hair in a messy bun and wiping tears from her eyes, he was sure something was very wrong. You notice the confusion on his face as his head tilts slightly to the side in pure doubt and concern at seeing how you looked.

"Honey? What happened? Are you hurt?" While he immediately checked on you, looking for any injuries or bruises, the tears intensified as she buried her face in his chest, wetting his shirt with her tears, not that he cares at this point.

Confusion hit him even harder, but he didn't question it when she pulled him inside, still wrapped around him. "Hey, Are you okay? What happened? Talk to me." He says, the worried tone not escaping his voice.

"Cramps," he heard her mumble against his chest, and with a quick glance around the small apartment he could see the hot water bottle on the couch, along with blankets and a plush Red Hood she had ordered after searching all over Gotham for one, without success. She proudly named it 'Teddy Wood'. "Sweetheart, why didn't you call me?"

He asked as he gently guided her to the couch "I didn't mean to bother you, you already do so much for me and then there was patrol, I just figured you were busy" Her hushed tone sounded sad as she looked away, looking at the floor.

His brow furrows as they both sit on the couch, her huddled in the opposite side, sniffling and wiping away the tears that stained her pretty face. On the way to her apartment, he had all sorts of thoughts about why she wasn't answering, that something had happened, or even that thought in the back of his mind, that she didn't want to talk to him, but never once, the thought that she felt like a burden crossed his mind.

"No matter what I'm doing, you won't bother me, i promise you, and i will always do my best to be here for you" 'just like you did for me', but he kept the last words to himself.

She sniffles, looking up at him with her eyes shining with tears, her hands on her stomach, pressing down, hoping to ease the pain. "I just figured that-, I don't know what i was thinking, I just didn't want to be a burden to you." She says, looking up at him, finally really looking at him, and he can see all the unspoken words behind her bright eyes.

"Hey, it's okay, I just want you to know that you don't have to worry about that, that I'll be here for you, that it's okay to call me, that you won't bother me anyway." he says, and she smiles slightly at him, pulling his larger body closer to hers, laying his head on her stomach, enjoying the welcome pressure.

"Do you want to watch that stupid reality show with me?" A comfortable smile forms on his face as he hears her words, he settles closer to her, feeling her hand stroking his hair, finally feeling at home.

"Whatever you want, darling."

[freeuselandonorris]

honestly would kill to see your take on any kink ever, but I must admit I haven't been able to get your thoughts on electrostim out of my mind since you shared them so. that one. (+camshow if you're feeling it 👀)

ps.: I did have a good festive season, and I hope you did too!! 🫶🫶

glad to hear it! 🫰 mine has been. mixed. but mostly good thank u!

obviously could not resist this one. enjoy oscar being the stone cold freak for once!

Lando had asked to see it, mainly because he didn’t entirely believe Oscar was telling the truth. 

Oscar was cool and everything. Funny, with a saucy mouth on him once you got to know him. But you had to admit the guy came off as — well. Vanilla. 

So when they’d gotten pissed together on leftover Moët in Lando’s suite and Oscar had picked up the TENS machine Jon had left in there, turned it over in his hands and said, “are you into electrostim?” in tones of nervous delight, Lando hadn’t even considered it might be some sort of weird sex thing.

What the fuck is electrostim? he’d asked, tipping the remnants of his glass down his throat, which meant he didn’t notice Oscar’s horrified expression for a few seconds. 

“Nothing,” Oscar said quickly, but by that point Lando had clocked the blush spreading rapidly across his cheeks and perked right up. Even then, he’d figured it was something embarrassing, but not — that. 

He’d not believed it, when Oscar explained it. How you could wire up the same kind of machine Jon used to zap the cramps out of his aching thighs and stick it round your cock. Not that Oscar said it so brazenly. There was a lot of umm-ing and err-ing, a lot of vague hand gestures and stuttering, before Lando got the picture. 

“Fuck off,” Lando said when Oscar finished stammering out the barest of explanations. “Really? You?”

”Jesus, Lando,” Oscar said, somewhere between exasperated and indignant.

“I bet you a hundred quid you can’t,” Lando said. 

Oscar shrugged. “Believe what you like.”

Lando, whose impulse control was bad at the best of times and even worse combined with half a bottle of champagne and a burgeoning stiffy, picked the machine up from where Oscar had dropped it onto the coffee table and held it out. “Show me?”

Oscar gaped at him. He was redder than Lando had ever seen him, but he didn’t look mad or anything. Just — blindsided, maybe. 

“Not now,” Oscar said eventually. His voice came out in a kind of croak, and he cleared his throat before he spoke again. “Maybe — maybe some other time.”

Lando knew a brush-off when he saw one, so he shrugged and changed the subject and tried not to feel too mortified about it. Oscar made his excuses after another glass, sloped off to his own bedroom, and Lando put the whole embarrassing affair out of his mind. 

When his phone buzzed a week later with a text from Oscar, he had to read it twice before he understood it.

Osc 19:48 Hey. I took a video if you’re still interested. No worries if not, don’t want to pressure 🙂

Lando breathed out hard through his nose, blinking at his phone.

lando 19:50 thats the politest sext i’ve ever had yeh i am pls

Osc 19:51 🙄 it was hardly a sext [video attached]

The thumbnail was blurry, a flash of maroon and some squiggles that might be wires. Lando swallowed hard, thumb hovering over the play button. He tapped it.

”Okay,” Oscar’s voice came from the phone’s speaker, quiet. Lando kicked the volume up a couple of notches, watching a confusion of movement. Oscar’s torso, clad in his usual plain t-shirt, and a pair of khaki knee-length shorts, open at the waist. The wires Lando had spotted led out to a hand-held control box, similar to the one Jon used but a different model. 

On-screen, Oscar cleared his throat. “Had it on for five minutes or so already,” he said. His voice was a little shaky, like he was nervous. He swallowed audibly before he spoke again. “So I’m a little — I’m already, you know.” A soft laugh. “Sorry, don’t know how well I’ll be able to, um, talk you through it. Let me just — I’ll just show you.”

He exhaled, audibly steeling himself, and Lando felt himself mirror the action unconsciously. His hands were sweating enough to worry he might drop his phone. He swore under his breath and hit pause on Oscar, heading through to his bedroom and flopping back onto the bed. After a moment’s deliberation, he shoved his own shorts down to mid-thigh. He wasn’t hard yet, but — well. Better to have the option. 

He hit play. Oscar-on-the-screen hummed thoughtfully and then the screen blurred again. Some scuffling sounds that made Lando wince, the screen going briefly dark and then bleaching light again until Oscar came back into focus from the neck down to mid-thigh, standing in what looked like his bathroom with the camera, presumably, propped on the sink. 

“Right, that’s better,” Oscar said, and breathed out again, a short sharp exhalation. “Okay, here goes.” 

He put the control box down, out of shot, and visibly straightened his spine before he pushed his shorts down. No boxers. Oscar, Lando thought admiringly. I wouldn’t have thought you had it in you.

It took the camera a few moments to focus, but when it did, Lando bit back a groan. Oscar’s cock was thick, semi-hard, and covered in wires. A thick black loop of it cinched tight around the base, and another snug beneath the head of his cock, trailing a black wire. 

“Had it on low,” Oscar said. “I’ll turn it up a bit.”

His hand reached out of frame and adjusted something, and he gasped. His cock jerked, filling out in front of Lando’s wide eyes. Oscar made a soft noise, the muscles in his forearm flexing as he adjusted something else that made his cock jump again, a tiny rhythmic pulse. 

“Ah,” Oscar said. “That’s — about halfway now. Feels pretty intense.”

He adjusted himself with one hand, pulling the top loop of wire a little tighter with the plastic toggle tucked up tight beneath the head. His long fingers hovered for a second, like he was struggling not to jack himself off, help things along. 

Lando let out a string of curses beneath his breath and grabbed himself. He thumbed at the bottom of the screen to bring up the playback bar. Jesus, the video wasn’t even a quarter of the way through yet. 

He watched Oscar’s cock get harder, bobbing in midair. Lando tuned himself into it after a minute or so. He could tell when Oscar adjusted the intensity of the current by the way Oscar’s cock flushed red, jolting against his belly, the veins on the underside pulsing beneath his foreskin. 

Still, it made him gasp when Oscar’s cock blurted thin clear liquid. It trickled down the side of his cock and dropped out of sight. 

“Yep,” Oscar said tightly. “Yeah, it’s. Getting good now.”

“Oh my God, Oscar,” Lando said to his empty room, voice shocked and shaking. 

Oscar hummed again, a low rumble in his chest. When he spoke again, it sounded like an effort. “Sometimes it makes me, uh. I think it stimulates my bladder or something, so — just to warn you.”

Lando let out a shuddering breath, blinking hard at the screen. This was insane. Both of them had clearly lost their minds. He wondered, for a brief paranoid second, whether this was some sort of sophisticated deepfake scam and he was going to have his bank account emptied or his DMs leaked yet again. But no, Oscar had said it to his face. 

“Right,” Oscar’s voice came over the speaker. “Gonna take it up another notch. It’s getting — it’s strong now.” 

Lando could hear it now. A faint ticking sound, barely there, pulsing in time to the jerk of Oscar’s swollen cock. Oscar pulled up the hem of his t-shirt with one hand and clenched his abs, gasping. 

“Ah, jeez,” Oscar gritted out, and on the screen, his cock jumped and let out a spurt of liquid. It spattered wet against his stomach, dripping down. Too far away from the camera to be able to see what it was. 

Lando curled his toes into the bedding. He was wanking furiously now, skin slapping against skin sounding overly loud in the room compared to the processed sound of Oscar’s heavy breaths. On the screen, Oscar’s cock was pulsing rhythmically, drooling clear liquid with every movement. Little droplets ran down the shaft, dripping to the floor. The hem of Oscar’s t-shirt had fallen down again when he’d let go of it, and it was dark and damp. Lando found himself wanting to suck it clean.

”Not—” Oscar’s breath hitched on a moan. “Not long now.” 

You’re telling me, Lando thought wildly, squeezing himself around the base to try to calm himself down. He was panting, thighs flexing with the need to come, but Oscar hadn’t yet, and he wanted to see it. 

“Okay,” Oscar was saying on the screen, more to himself than the camera. “Gonna — gonna turn it up to max now, and that’ll probably do it.”

He reached out then and picked up the phone, bringing it closer to his straining cock. As the camera moved, Lando caught a glimpse of his face, red and shining with sweat. 

“Ready?” Oscar’s voice came over the speakers, and Lando moaned at the shock of being directly addressed. 

Oscar reached his other hand out to the control unit, and Lando saw his thighs clench, his cock lurch violently. 

“Oh, fuck,” Oscar rasped. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—” 

He came, untouched and messy, spraying across his t-shirt. Before he knew it, Lando was coming too, letting it get all over his own stomach as Oscar’s ragged gasps echoed in his ears. 

Lando stopped coming before Oscar did. Oscar’s cock was red and angry-looking, still spurting thin liquid every few seconds as his thighs shook visibly. Then the screen tilted dizzily, and the video stopped.

Lando stared at the screen, shell-shocked. His brain felt like it had been hollowed out. 

“Fucking hell,” he croaked to the phone. He wanted to laugh, slightly hysterical. Instead he wiped his sticky hand on his shirt and swiped out of the video, back to his message thread with Oscar.

lando 20:03 omfg wow

A second later, Lando’s phone vibrated, but there was no reply in his thread with Oscar. Instead, there was a notification from his bank. Lando opened it.

Oscar Piastri has requested funds! Oscar Piastri has requested £100.00 GBP.  Message from recipient: “Told you so.” Accept request to transfer funds?

[ju-nebugg]

moments from trb that make me lose my mind (pt. 2)

- “once your balls drop, that beard’ll come in great. like a fucking rug. you eat soup, it’ll filter out the potatoes. terrier style. do you have hair on your legs? i’ve never noticed.” ronan lynch i love you so much

- ronan panicking and letting the mask slip when gansey was staring down that wasp

- ronan being jealous that gansey was leaving henrietta with adam and saying “do you not want me to come” and gansey responding with “i would take all of you anywhere with me”

- “the sky as blue as death above him” like WHAT

- “i didn’t realize that ‘midget’ was the adam parrish type” ronan your yearning is showing

- gansey’s smile being “complicated” when he notices adam and blue holding hands

- “…blue’s dress had gotten hitched up and gansey could see a long, slender triangle of her thigh. adam’s hand was braced a few inches away on the seat, knuckles pale with his hatred of flying. there was nothing particularly intimate about the way they sat, but something about the scene made gansey feel strange, like he’d heard an unpleasant statement and later forgotten everything about the words but the way they had made him feel.” (long quote i know but holy fucking shit)

- obligatory “i’m always straight.” “oh, man, that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told.”

- gansey doing his little indie film main character scream to god in a field

- gansey pointing at people. so much pointing. what a dork. i love him so much

- also his vocabulary. what a NERD <333333

- ronan pissing all over the state of virginia

- gansey calling blue “the table everyone wants at starbucks”

- “i just fed chainsaw but she’ll need it again.” “this,” gansey replied, “is precisely why i didn’t want to have a baby with you.”

- adam’s immediate thought when holding blue’s hand is to worry about crushing her fingers :(

- ronan forgetting to be “cool or surly” when translating cabeswater’s latin, and apologizing over and over again good lord and gansey only responding with “it’s okay, you’re doing really well”

- the whole “coincidence because it wasn’t” trend

- gansey being SO NERVOUS to ask blue to hang out at the church, and then sounding “fourteen shades brighter” when she accepts

- gansey’s arms being super fucking ripped from rowing and blue Noticing

- “aquamarine is a wonderful color, and i won’t be made to feel bad for wearing it”

- “gansey’s voice, when he replied, was a little rough. ‘well, if you killed adam, i’d be quite upset.’”

- “on the inside, he sort of wished he looked more like the camaro. which was to say, more like adam.”

- gansey planning out his “cunning thing to say to blue when he saw her next”

- ronan walking in on adam and blue flirting and immediately shoving chainsaw in their faces. hm.

- “no matter how hard he tried, he kept becoming a gansey”

- “out of the blue?” “i’d prefer if you didn’t use that expression.”

- BUTTERNUT

- blue being reluctantly attracted to gansey’s glasses

- ronan trying so hard to give adam an excuse not to go home, and then going absolutely apeshit when adam gets hurt

- neeve’s voice sounding like a “computerized voicemail menu” (can you tell i’m in love with maggie’s descriptors)

- “gansey was just a guy with a lot of stuff and a hole inside him that chewed away more of his heart every year.” oh god

- ronan carrying all of adam’s possessions into monmouth on his back

- gansey saying things like “excelsior” and “yee haw” for no one but himself

- gansey being miserable and blue liking him better that way

- ‘“crushed and broken,” gansey said. “just the way women like ‘em.”’ correct!

- “cabeswater was just as literal as ronan was” HMMMMMMMMM CURIOUS

- ronan writing “remembered” on the red mustang and walking away without a word shut UPPPPPP

- ganseys first question after adam sacrifices himself being “was i so awful?”

- “they didn’t even have the authority to choose an alcoholic beverage. they couldn’t be deciding who deserved to live or die.”

(pt. 1)

as soon as i can stumble my way to a bookstore, dream thieves will be annotated to hell and back. expect more yelling very soon <3

[scenetocause]

for a prompt— something something the contrast of Lando’s smooth legs vs Oscar’s hairy ones… basically Oscar thigh worship maybe😅 and/or Lando and Oscar comparing hand sizes

"You're like, proper hairy mate." Lando's got his hands on Oscar's thighs, nearly fucking spanning them because he has dimensions as bonkers as anything about him.

"Not really?" Oscar's seen Mark's legs when they're out on the bikes. Shudders, sometimes, at the thought of grey hair there.

"Yeah you are, look." Lando jams his own thigh between Oscar's. "You're all hairy, compared to me."

The temptation to tell Lando that's because he is actually some sort of hairless freak is strong. Except that it wouldn't be totally fair, since the guy has exactly the amount of pubes you'd expect and a bit of a trail down his chest that's more than Oscar can do, honestly.

It's just that on his arms and legs he only has the slightest dusting of soft, golden hair. Just enough to make his skin sort of glitter a bit, in sunlight, make him seem even more ethereal, a creature picked by god. And, apparently, Oscar.

"A bit, yeah," he concedes.

Lando looks up at him, sharply. "S'hot. Like it, like," his horrendous, huge fingers sort of bury themselves in the hair on Oscar's thighs. "Yeah, like that."

"Okay." He's basically used, now, to Lando doing weird sex things. Not like, weird sex things in a normal way - Oscar expected a bit of that but if anything Lando's more vanilla than he is - more like. Having sex in a chaotically incoherent way that doesn't match up to anything Oscar's ever done before.

It's endearing and Lando's not selfconscious about it. Doesn't seem to know other people don't do it like this, all over the top and strange. Lando gets off on things Oscar doesn't think he probably could - like this, just his hands in Oscar's thigh hair while he's grinding his cock against Oscar's left knee - except it's so blindingly hot watching him do it he's usually not far off joining him.

"Do you like it?" It must be pretty obvious he does. They're both naked and Oscar's dick is standing straight against his own stomach, twitching when Lando edges his hands higher, towards the seam of Oscar's hips.

"Yeah, I do. It's nice." Lando needs to be told, sometimes. Maybe he does know how weird he is, that not everyone gets off like this.

"Good." Lando's a bit pink, wild eyed in the way he gets when he's really enjoying something. "Cus I really like it. Looks so hot, with your cock like - yeah."

Oscar can't help preening a bit, reaching for his own dick even while he's leaning over to kiss Lando. Kissing's one of the few things Lando isn't utterly bizarre about, usually very much a giver in letting Oscar lead, surprisingly affectionate and gentle.

"Oh my god," Lando's eyes are like saucers, suddenly. "Could you, like - when you come, can you get it on, y'know."

"I can probably manage to jizz on my own leg mate, yes." Honestly.

"Fuck," Lando closes his eyes, moans, then seems to realise he needs them open if he wants to watch. "That's so hot."

It's clearly not going to last long for Lando, Oscar's knee already wet with whatever's leaking out of his dick. So he sets an aggressive pace, working his own hand to get him there before Lando does. It's just as well he's got such a strong competitive spirit because it's definitely not easy, Lando getting more and more worked up the more Oscar's wanking himself off in front of him.

"Mate," Lando's whining now. "Please, wanna see it."

Fuck. It's - honestly really stupid - impossible for Oscar to resist, when Lando starts begging him for whatever stupid sex thing. Barely remembers to direct his dick over his left thigh, spunk splashing over the back of Lando's hand and into the hair there.

The noise Lando makes is so loud it feels like it's reverberating through Oscar's head, drowning out his own.

Next time Mark has a go at him about shagging his teammate and not showing weakness and all that, he thinks, in the comedown, he's got a really good answer for him. Because Oscar must be a fucking strong bloke or he'd definitely be dead, watching Lando licking and sucking come out of his thigh hair, whimpering when Oscar pets his hair.

[writingwisterias]

hope this isnt off limits but how would eras leon react to their partner being into ddlg?

Hi!

I have no problem doing this for you! I hope you like it 💕 I'm churning these out as fast as I can lmao...I'm dead from work but almost to my holiday 🥺

Warnings: NSFW, Ddlg, Fluff, MDNI

AFAB!Reader

RE2:

I actually think he would settle into this role easily, like it sort of makes a routine in his life

He would be embarrassed at first just with the idea and worried if anyone saw but eventually he would settle pretty quickly

I think he would lean more towards getting you the thing you would want like teddies

Less likely to punish you even if you break the rules he's given you because he caves easily

In terms of the use of daddy I think he would freak out a bit at first, never letting you see it because it would almost feel like you are aging him and the world is already doing that so he might be a bit reluctant

He's never thought he would be into something like this but he ends up actually liking it and it fit really well with the both of you

RE4R:

He would love the idea of being able to take care of you and provide for you in a safe place

I think he would also enjoy coming home and seeing what you have done whenever it's colouring or just being cosy on the couch

He would also shower you in love and affection very quickly. All the money he earns goes to bills, food and you.

I think he's more of a quiet observer, so he just enjoys being in the living room watching a film as you sit next to the coffee table drawing etc

He prefers watching your favorite films and shows. He will say they are bad but secretly he loves them

Huge on praise Kink, all you have to do is bat your eyes at him and he's dragging you to the bedroom with a raging hard on

At first the use of Daddy would shock him and take a while to get used to but then he would fall into the role naturally and actually refer to himself as Daddy

Infinite Darkness:

LOVES IT

Like he's all in straight away no need for further questions

He loves spoiling you but becomes firm if you break his rules

Has raging hard on's all the time with your innocence.

Often Feels guilty about it but you always seem up to pleasing him so eventually he doesn't get guilty anymore

Doesn't let you in his office because you always end up distracting him but somehow you always end up in there

When you do enter let's just say you will be shooed out with the promise of a red ass if you don't do it quickly

He will tease you as you cuddle and watch films or TV shows. Playing with your clit under the fluffy blanket you insisted on laying over the top of the both of you

Enjoys your whines of protest and how they eventually turns into begs for daddy's touch

Damnation:

Definitely becomes more strict in terms of you following the rules he puts in place but always makes it up when he does have to punish you

Your little doe eyes always help you get your way with him

Lazy at sex, prefers if you are so needy and do most of the work. Until you get all whiny and upset that you can't cum he'll step in then

He's away a lot more, but always at random times so he'll make sure to have meals prepared for you and labeled in the fridge. Trusting that you use them and don't forget

He will call you if he's away but if he can't he'll always make sure to send you a text

RE6:

Neither of you actually have a conversation about exploring this dynamic between the two of you it just happens naturally

It works though and Leon enjoys it as it gives him something else to focus on

Especially so after the events of the game, he pretty much lives through the events of raccoon City again and doesn't even seem phased

Until he gets back

You notice the change in his attitude and see his sad eyes. Deciding in your little brain to try and help him out

He finds it cute how you bring him your favourite teddy and cosy up to him, allowing him to thread his fingers through your hair

You'll try your best to not be needy but that only upsets him further because that's his favorite part

Your constant need for his attention

Vendetta:

Since he's not in the right frame of mind I don't think he would be as interested in the idea

He can barely take care of himself

I think the dynamic would only work during sex

It would come out to play before, during and after sex but beyond that it would have to be hidden if he's having a bad day

Sometimes when he's drunk he'll play into it a bit more, he's looser and forgotten whatever was bothering him

He would be gentle still during these times, probably loosely refers to himself as Daddy just for your sake

Feels bad that it's been washed away and he's not doing a good job at providing for you in this manner

Still spoils you rotten though

Death Island:

Doesn't like the idea of having children he's too old for that now

But you? He loves taking care of you

He wouldn't even let you work, he's got more than enough savings to last you living this life style comfortably

Prefers it if you didn't spend his money lavishly but then you are just his cheeky little girl so who's he kidding

Sex is great because you are just so willing for it

He doesn't have to worry about erectile dysfunction for a while that's for sure

Accidentally refers to himself as Daddy in public if you are meeting friends one too many times

It's just become a natural habit now, he doesn't mind though. You seem to get more embarrassed than he does

[nashdoesstuff]

crest RAMBLES because i’m so normal about him <- i am regular

okay so. first and foremost crest is my take on nicemare. because i don’t really like a lot of interpretations of nicemare,, that’s just my opinion, though— i don’t like them much really but i do think they have potential!! so i gave it a shot and crescent is the result of that.

here he is!! my goober ever <3

second. he and his sister [celeste] were born in around the late 1550s. no specific birthdate [yet] but they were born in that decade. crest stood by the tree as per usual, defending nim’s new form as best he could, even if it didn’t go to plan sometimes.

during the apple incident, he only ate around half of the apples on the tree before the villagers started attacking him, so a lot of them were left to roam the universe after crest fled. celeste was put into stone with a spell after crest finished killing every villager, mostly because he was scared of hurting her with the new magic that had overcome him and that was beyond his control at the time.

he was. very sick. throughout the first year of his corruption. in this multiverse the apples make their consumer feel sick and nauseous, alongside other side affects. these can last or worsen, depending on how many apples are consumed. in crest’s case, since they were around 500, he was sick for several months, staying in one universe and mourning what he presumed was the loss of his sister, and the actual loss of his mother, whom he killed accidentally. due to the fact he never consumed every apple, “passive’s” soul was not lost, and crescent still controls his own body. his corruption only controls his body when crescent is angrier or influenced by surrounding negative energy. this can be best shown through crest’s eyelight— which typically is blue and purple [this is also known as crest’s ‘neutral’ state.] when it is entirely violet, crescent is usually showing genuine, strong positive emotions, or experiencing sadness, fear, or likewise. when his eyelight is entirely blue/cyan, his corruption has the majority of the control, and crest has a lack of sympathy. fortunately, entire corruption rarely ever occurs, only in situations of anger or extreme negativity.

he travelled the multiverse young, and stood in one universe for the rest of his childhood until he decided to travel again. he stood in another universe after falling in love with someone for some 20+ years, leaving a month after said lover’s death. after that occurred, he began to live loosely, only staying in a universe for at most a week or two before departing once again. this changed in the 1800s when he found an abandoned castle and called it his home.

his sister awoke from stone in the year 2065, in which you may remember from this comic where crest recalls celeste disowning him. after this happened and celeste befriended ink, crest met killer, horror, and dust, alongside cross who joined them two years later. crest treats his boys like family, and is a father figure of sorts to them. [sound familiar?]

after celeste’s corruption, he made a truce with ink to help both of them fight her off. as time passed, however, the two became closer and closer and eventually fell in love. they married around a year into their relationship.

now, my main issue with nicemare universes is they never really put reason to nightmare’s kindness. why is it that nightmare is seen as heartless to everyone but kind only to those who know him closely?

my explanation for this is crest’s requirement for other’s suffering. his corruption requires him to feed on the suffering of other people, even if he doesn’t want it. so, he goes to universes and harms them, only because he must. due to this, people find it more difficult to trust him. however, since his boys know and trust him, they deem him as the kind-hearted guardian he is ^^

additionally, as to why he’s nice, i think he used to Not Be. like he wasn’t too kind in his childhood. he used to get into fights and didn’t socialize, blah blah. these events occurred most frequently before the age of 13 because he was just on edge due to everything that had occurred in the village and had a very difficult time seeing that others weren’t going to hurt him. but as his magic developed and he was able to better feel the intentions of others, he grew to understand other people much easier than he was able in the years prior. he managed to grow out of that “guilty until proven innocent” mindset, and made some acquaintances and even developed some feelings for boys he grew up around. 

so! some fun facts about crest:

he is an avid tea and coffee drinker. he has coffee once in the mornings, and jasmine tea twice or more a day. he drinks coffee for energy since he doesn’t sleep ^^

he is gay! he would rather watch paint dry than kiss a woman

originally, he had a lot of internalized homophobia. he was told being queer was wrong growing up, so when he found out he was he Hated Himself for it. it wasn’t until he met his first boyfriend when he realized it was okay to be gay, and even after he passed he thought his partner’s death was caused by a higher deity being angry with them for loving each other. he only stopped believing this in the mid-1900s. 

crest is autistic and has some difficulty with social cues. he runs the castle on a strict schedule, only barely changing it. he rotates between 3-4 outfits and refuses to wear anything else unless it is an occasion. he also hates velvety textures, and cannot wear any sort of fabrics/textiles on his hands without freaking out about it. this includes bandages, gloves, and fabric on his hands for a prolonged period of time. this also extends to touch— long-term hand holding or unauthorized touching makes him extremely anxious. basically, if anything is on his hands that he doesn’t want on there, he will Not like it. his special interest could be considered the multiverse.

he does like rings though! he wears five in total.

he isn’t very fond of corrupt dream/positivity guardian variants. he just. doesn’t like them. his sister scares him enough.

he has a type when it comes to love interests: artists. he loves artists of any kind— his first boyfriend was a musician, and ink’s… ink. any other crushes he had were either painters, musicians, writers, or actors.

crest does doodle on occasion, mostly in journals he uses to take notes around the multiverse. he’s been keeping journals since adulthood, and has kept all of them since. he keeps all of his journals on a bookshelf in his office, and he has a total of 200+ journals, some specialized in certain universes and others moreso as travel diaries.

he primarily listens to classical and acoustic music. he has a record player and refuses to use anything else to listen to music in his free time.

he is 5’0”.

crest is insecure about his body, particularly his goop/negativity coating. he sees it as a reminder of the worst day of his life.

yeagh i’m normal about him. anyways feel free to ask me questions about him. thumbs up emoji

[cindersnows]

the problem with mitsi (or as i like to call it. mitsogyny)

(context: this was written under a youtube video, which i'm sure most of us have at least seen pop up in our recommendeds, in response to many people taking criticism against the new episode. it has been edited a little to be more cohesive as a somewhat-essay)

ok, i wanted to write out a rant/essay/ramble/whatever sort of summarising the criticism against mitsi's plotline because a lot of the people here seem to be misunderstanding the fundamental issue that people have with it, including some of those people themselves.

first off, an analysis that i think tell both sides of the argument very well which i feel should be read before reading the essay: Mitsi: What Makes A Fridged Character (and why y'all are wrong about it) | an AvA essay by InksandPensblog. i will note: i don't care to discuss whether mitsi was fridged or not and that won't be of much importance in this post. the above link gives some insight into some of the fandom's criticism of mitsi and how she was "fridged", defining common tropes for examples. that's what's relevant to this post.

the main issue with mitsi, in my opinion, is less with the fact that mitsi's a girl and moreso the fact that she's one of the only female-coded character in the series, and that her character's main purpose was to further victim's own development. the other arguably female-coded character in the series is pink, who (like navy) only really exists to explain purple's motivations. i don't have much of an issue with that since they're not meant to be important or sympathised with at all. that's not their job in the story.

with mitsi, i've seen people point out that she has more character to her than just victim's love interest and supporter: she invents rocketcorp, she's smart, she's kind, innocent and helpful. narratively speaking, she shows other creations' relationships with their animators, parallels her innocence with victim's trauma, and introduces victim to the outernet (as most fans call the stick realm).

but most of this things imo are either stretches or invalid arguments. she's not really a 2/3-dimensional character in any way; her main character traits boil down to the fact that she likes to be in service of others with no nuance behind why she likes helping people. she hypes up victim for the villagers, she starts a company with him to share his talents with the world, and she helps him overcome his trauma from alan's torture. all of her main plot beats center around victim: and while technically the sticks are genderless and free to be interpreted however the viewer wants, alan and most of his team see all the main characters as male, and that subconciously affects how they're written. mitsi, the first major female-coded character, spends most of her storyline in service of victim, a character not written as female.

there's also the issue of her being victim's canonical love interest. i feel like this statement from alan is important to keep in mind (don't mind the sound effects and edits, this is the only isolated clip i can find at the moment). in particular:

"i just assume that [the ava/m characters] are just a bunch of bros]. i haven't thought of adding any female stick figures but i think it'd be good. i don't want to introduce any romance though, i don't want that to be a theme."

he seems to have changed his mind on that last part, which is fine, but the notable part for me is that he seems to associate female characters with romance from the getgo. before anyone misinterprets this, i'm not trying to call alan sexist or anything. but there's a common issue with women in stories being reduced to just a romantic partner for the male lead, and mitsi falls under this, with her entire character existing to serve victim. (not to mention people will make things about romance whether you like it or not. that's just basic fandom. search up grapeduo or chodark.) even her death is to put victim on the path of vengeance--- it doesn't need to happen to show the extent of tco and tdl's destruction, because that's already made pretty clear in ava s2 the flashback and the earlier scenes showing various characters escaping burning buildings. when you write a female-coded character whose only purpose is to serve a male character, you're contributing to sexist narratives.

a counter i see many people point out with the idea that she has no character is that she does have character traits, it's just that they're generic ones like "kind" and "innocent". the issue is that she has no flaws to counterpoint this; it's not that she didn't have enough screentime. in ava4 for example, we see tsc's flaws pretty clearly; they can be very mean when they want to, they're petty (albeit for a fair reason), they're a little impulsive. this is shown in 11 minutes (from the moment they come alive to the end of the video).

with mitsi meanwhile… she doesn't seem to have any flaws? she helps victim whenever she can. she's nice to all the villagers. her customers all like her and she's a great leader at rocket corp (to note, specifically as part of a pair with victim. they're a power couple, she's barely given credit for her work alone). she has 13 minutes of screentime, or 10 if you count from her waking up in the outernet. there's plenty of opportunities to show her having flaws; maybe she acts a little selfish during tdl and tco's attack, only wanting to help herself and agent smith, or maybe she overworks herself, or feels awkward at having too much attention (and that could also be why she redirects so much attention to victim, she's shy). you could argue that the episode needs to develop victim and agent smith too, but ava4 shows that's easy to do too: just a few seconds dedicated to showing rgyb fighting over who leaves first shows that they can be selfish and childish. it's very easy to insert a moment like that for mitsi.

it's a little disappointing when the first major female-coded character in ava is completely flawless, with no personality outside of being nice and helpful for others.

also, slightly unrelated, check out this quote from mitsi's plushie website: "her white featureless face seems to ooze mystery and feminine power all at the same time." her main character trait, as a woman, is being feminine. it's irritating as someone who's been raised a woman to see her reduced to just her gender. she feels more plastic than a person, like the concept of what a woman should be (perfect, kind, useful) and not an actual character/person.

i would expect more from the writing in the series seeing as it's not just an independent passion project anymore, and has multiple writers that all could've worked to flesh out mitsi, or at least get a sensitivity reader of sorts to point these issues out. it's extremely disappointing and i can understand why people were upset.

tldr: the problem isn't just that mitsi's a girl, or that she's nice or dating victim, it's that she's written in a misogynistic way.

[aropride]

fascinated and distressed by chase's disordered relationship with sexuality + his emotions abt his own trauma & abuse

thru the beginning of the show he doesn't even realize he's hot despite being objectively attractive. when he finds out he's hot he then realizes people pretend to be interested in him as a person in order to have sex with him and gets super upset about it

he starts having a bunch of meaningless sex as a coping mechanism when cameron leaves him. and also a lot of other times. whenever something bad happens, basically, he starts going out with a bunch of women, just to feel something, presumably

^to the extent where hes known within the hospital as a slut. and has had sex with an insane amount of nurses. as well as presumably women who are not at his place of work.

he says doing this made him hate himself so he stopped. it's the b-plot for an episode and then he's back having meaningless sex again by the end of the episode

even his coworkers know this about him. and have called it out, masters even says she thinks he doesn't respect women bc, in her words, he's with a different one every few days or maybe he finds comfort in meaningless relationships

goes back to having meaningless sex within weeks of getting stabbed. which is really bad for wound healing reasons too. genuinely it seems like such compulsive behavior for him considering he keeps doing it even when its objectively not only a bad idea but actively dangerous

house even directly says he's "a serial slut" because he's "terrified of intimacy." incredibly accurate assessment

his relationship with his sexuality reads so heavily as someone who thinks they're not good for anything else

see also: dissociation & avoidance

we know he has a lot of trauma especially in childhood- he never really gets into it let alone into how he Feels about it but what we know is already bad & that's just the stuff he's okay with sharing with his coworkers or patients

in general he's very avoidant of his own trauma- when he gets stabbed he says he "can't change what happened, can only make better choices from here" as if it was his own fault, and refuses thru the whole episode to acknowledge that being traumatized by this would be a really normal reaction that he is definitely having. instead he just blames himself

also, he dissociates from traumatic things that happen to him - says "there was a stabbing" rather than "i was stabbed" for instance

when he's talking abt his childhood trauma he does it in a very similar way - he talks about it very bluntly and doesn't ever get into how he actually feels about it.

see also: dr. fawn response

general passive willingness to go along with anything- when cameron says they should have sex in s3 he's surprised and then he just kinda goes along with it. not bc he didn't want to bc he obviously did, but he's just generally very much someone who does whatever other people want him to do. i feel like he and cameron both tend to seek validation thru sex in an unhealthy way that i'm still gnawing on like a dog with a bone i have to go rewatch s3 to really articulate it though

he has a sort of desperation for praise and approval especially from anyone he views as an authority figure. he does whatever authority figures tell him out of this idea that it'll bring him approval and therefore safety

like no matter what house does or says to him he doesn't argue or retaliate or anything. even when house punches him he collapses on the ground in pain and then just keeps talking about the patient like nothing happened.

the scene in 3.10 after house punches him where he's in the ddx room and house walks in and throws the file at him and chase is startled and tries to pretend he's not. and he looks up with this huge fuck ass bruise on his jaw swallows heavily and pretends not to be upset. and house asks if he got that looked at as if he wasn't the one to give it to him and chase just swallows and says he's fine. dr fawn response :(

[witch-from-a-block-of-flats]

The first half of episode 2 deserves more attention.

Warning! Yapping ahead!

(Also sorry for any potential english errors, it's not my first language)

He brings that up so casually. Honestly I don't blame him, because who would believe you if you said you have some sort of special ability? Only other people who know that superpowers actually exist. It's was kinda smart of Liu Xiao if you think about it. Dropping the word superpower and then watching people's reaction to it.

Now that's interesting. Because Liu Min is our villain from season 1. You know, that guy:

If you remember season 1 and begging of season 2, you know that Liu Min had a difficult relationship with his father (Liu Jing) who wished he "had half the ability of his younger brother" - younger brother being Liu Xiao. Does Liu Jing know that his younger son has superpower or was he just talking about his intelligence?

Also how on earth Xiang had met Liu Min when LM was a kid? Was he babysitting or something? Why does he mention Liu Min when Liu Xiao says "You know boss Liu (Jing)?". You know, his DAD.

Superpower user spotted?

I still don't know how to interpret this moment. Just an artistic representation of deduction/prediction? But the eye... the eye color change... Are they doing this on purpose? Are they trolling us? Powers related to the future finally appear? Am I reaching? Will we learn more about Xiang? I hope so, since he knows about Cheng Xiaoshi's dad.

Ok ok I know that this moment roughed some feathers and almost no one is buying that Liu Xiao's power is just hearing other people's heartbeat. I'm not sure what to think either. I mean his song is literally called "Manipulator" I wouldn't be surprised if that was a lie.

But let's say he is telling the truth. You may ask why would he revealed his power to someone who clearly doesn't like him and could use this info against him? I think that this isn't a stupid move. His power is simple and not as powerful like time travel through photos for example but... you can't really do anything about it. Like what are you going to do, stop your heartbeat? We don't know the exact rules and limits of this power yet. Is there a distance limit? Does it work through phone calls? Does it work on recordings?

After thinking about it, personally, in my humble opinion, I think it's good for the show that we have someone with less spectacular power. Because:

It shows how diverse powers can be.

It forces writers to be more creative about how Liu Xiao deals with the obstacles.

There is certain charm to a character who is "weaker" on paper but is going toe to toe with someone who has a powerful ability. Sometimes it's not about pure power, it's about creativity.

I am genuinely curious how this man looked at his power [hearing heartbeats] and thought "yes, I will be the one to merge all the parallel lines".

Besides, we already had a power not related to photos - Li Tianchen can possess people he touches - so I don't think it's doing much harm to the series.

And now we go back to CXS's dad. There are so many questions. Why is he so important to Liu Xiao? What's his connection to Xiang? Is he still in Bridon? IS HE STILL ALIVE?

Xiang was terrified when Liu Xiao mentioned him so maybe he had/has a powerful ability? I think Xiang had something to do with Cheng Weimin disappearing. My current theory is that someone dangerous was after Cheng Weimin and his family (maybe the superpower police?) and Xiang helped him in some way but that's just a gut feeling. It's just as likely to be true as a version when Xiang helped people who wanted to get rid of him (or maybe capture him and use him? so many questions, not so many answers).

And to end this post that is already way too long...

WHAT DOES THIS BEETLE THING MEAN? P.H.? DO WE KNOW SOMEONE WITH P.H. INITIALS? If it was H. P. I would pull out my lovecraftian hat but it's not (unfortunately).

Paris Hilton is that you???

[ogtarotreader]

Okay so here’s a yearly reading for jaw and ayo. I did two separate readings for career, love and filming the bear and then I did their dynamic.

Jaw- for career I pulled the 2 of swords (in reverse), 7 of wands in reverse, 4 of cups, 10 of swords and page of cups. For his career he may have some blockages. Some internal conflicts where he may want to explore different sides of his creativity that may have some opposition either internally or externally. He may also take on too much with the 10 of swords and have a moment of burnout. His love life is interesting, I pulled the page of swords, the sun, six of wands, 10 of pentacles, temperance. His love life looks pretty good. Harmony, balance. It feels as though he will slow things down and use his intellect more to be in the emotional space he desires to be in. He has or will be seeking freedom. The energy here is much different than all the other readings I’ve pulled recently. I’m gonna keep it real and say he may be single. He may have had an amicable breakup with MG with the 3 of swords, 3 of cups,10 of swords,  the star, 10 of cups and 3 of wands.  I pulled other cards asking how he felt currently about MG and the  cards read that he is ready to move on. I've said in the past about them being on and off, but it feels more off now. It’ll be interesting to see.  For the filming of the show I got the 8 of wands, queen of swords, 8 of swords, the moon, five of cups. He is eager to start working there again, but there’s some anxiety with the eight of swords and the moon there. He also doesn’t want it to end with the five of cups. He’s really sad about it all ending.

Ayo- for career I pulled the chariot, the hermit, 7 of cups, eight of wands, the star-She’s going up, up up this year. She is focused and in control this year. She will have many opportunities coming and her career will progressing quickly. She will be in the spotlight more now this year than ever. The hermit there speaks to her discernment. She will be smart in her choices.  For love I pulled the king of wands, four swords, justice, five of wands, eight of swords. It’s a bit rough. She will be in the midst of making a decision about her love life. She is revaluating her relationship and trying to decide if it’s right for her. If it’s suitable and equitable and fair. Five of wands and eight of swords speaks to friction in her relationship this year. Eight of swords speaks to feeling trapped in a relationship. Like I’ve talked about before, it’s self-imposed limitations. She will be gearing up to step out of her comfort zone which is why she is doing all of this thinking. She’s sort of giving me single vibes also. For the show’s filming, I pulled page of pentacles, the devil in reverse, four of cups, and nine of pentacles. She’s thinking about herself. Focused on getting the rest of the work done.  The devil in reverse signifies she will be thinking about evaluating her work relationships. Maybe considering repairing things with a colleague. Maybe jaw?

Jaw and ayo’s  current feelings about their relationship

Jaw I pulled (page of swords, five of swords, six of pentacles, five of pentacles, ten of swords-on the bottom-temperance, eight of cups, the magician, the hermit, and the seven of pentacles.  He wants open/honest communication with each other. On the flip side he is frustrated with the five of swords and eight of cups. Their “separation” is causing him emotional pain maybe even some impatience because he wants a decision to be made. There’s some guilt there with how things went down. He’s saying he wants her to speak to him about what she’s thinking and feeling. He feels like things are in limbo. Part of him is questioning if he should move on and close the chapter here. (he won’t) He’s looking forward to working with her again with the magician and six of pentacles because he feels this will bring them closer again. Their creating together. The five of pentacles and the hermit speaks to this continued separation is leaving him cold and hurt. But with the ten of swords and the seven of pentacles, he wants to leave the pain behind and get back to rebuilding their friendship. He wants healing and harmony.

Ayo- we got the seven of cups, five of cups, seven of swords, page of swords, eight of cups-on the bottom we have nine of cups, the sun, 2 of cups and 10 cups, judgement.  Ayo’s energy is in a different spot because it feels like she is thinking a lot about past actions concerning their dynamic. She’s taking her space, but now it feels like she’s confused or anxious about how much she’s distanced herself with the seven of cups and nine of cups. She’s trying to choose how to move forward in a way that can bring them back to harmony. She has regrets with the five of cups there. She feels sad they aren’t as close as they use to be and it has been difficult but with the sun there on the bottom she wants get through this hardship back to things being where they were. The challenge for her is to communicate this without ignoring what happened. (she kind of wants to ignore it. Just on a medium level but she knows she can’t do that which causes the anxiety and confusion). With the seven of swords she’s acknowledging she may not have been all the way honest about her feelings for him with the 2 of cups on the bottom. Page of swords and the 10 of cups is about her wanting to openly communicate her feelings to him so they can get back their friendship, balance, harmony, trust etc. She will do this. (she has a lot to say). Eight of cups and judgement. This combination is huge because it speaks to the spiritual awakening I’ve been talking about for her. It’s all about growth and maturity. Opening up emotionally and letting go of any emotional baggage she is carrying. Good stuff she’s been doing the work.

As you can see these two have some similar cards when it comes to their dynamic. I sense JAW is simply waiting for Ayo to say something and does feel hurt with the change in their dynamic. He feels guilty for how things went down and also impatient for things to move forward, but is being patient and so willing to make it work. Ayo is looking to come out of the separation but is trying to figure out how in a fair way. She knows the ball is in her court. She feels ready but afraid about it. He’s sensitive, she knows she'll have to do it right, but with him there isn't a right or wrong way when it comes to her. They’ll get back though. It’ll be fine.

[sheigarche]

girl shut up

I'm going to assume this is about Life is Strange because that's what I've been talking about the most in the last 2 months and I don't think any of my other fandoms would be bother by my posts.

So here are some hot take ideas for LIS posts I've never made because I thought it might upset some fans, but maybe I shouldn't be so quiet about it after all.

Pricefield vs DE

It seems like everything in Double Exposure was deliberately written to justify Chloe breaking up with Max.

Chloe showed that she was paranoid that Max may be using her powers to manipulate the relationship to make it work and that's exactly what Max did to Amanda and got call out for it in the end.

She also expressed how Max is unable to let go of the past and is haunt by it. So most of the game we see Max (and the player) holding on to it and struggling to move on until the very end. Some fans still can't do it and doesn't want Max to do it, but that's exactly why Chloe left.

Many people didn't realize it, but Max was struggling to establish herself as a real photographer in the years she was with Chloe, but quick became famous and recognized in the years after they broke up.

To me that's the game trying to sell the idea that they are better off without each other.

Chaseprice

Victoria and Chloe's posts in DE don't show anything explicitly romantic, it could just be friendship, but the intention to make it look like something more is pretty clear to me.

The writers chose sentences like "can you handle it, Chase?" and "I'll buy you a beer" on purpose and know exactly what the players will think of it.

Besides Victoria shows a desire in going from wherever she lives to see Chloe, and then Chloe makes plans to do a little detour to go see Victoria. Whatever this relationship is, they're making it work long distance with effort on both sides. Mutual interest.

I wouldn't be surprised if in the sequel we see one post or two subtly hinting that they're actually together. A picture on Crosstalk, maybe a comment from someone else on their posts.

Hell, I can even imagine an art gallery event of some sort where Max is invited and can bring her chosen love interest and Victoria is there with Chloe as her date... And that's how the devs manage to have a natural last conversation between Max and Chloe in person to give closure to their relationship.

And I kind of expect Victoria to come to them at some point, a little jealous or just proud of her girlfriend.

Langfield

Some people keep saying that Max wouldn't be interested in Vinh... But that's wrong.

The reality is that it was the first game's choices and Max's journey is what makes them fit together so well.

Yes, okay, maybe 18-year-old Max wouldn't like this emotionally dry 28-year-old Vinh. Maybe 18-year-old Max would have liked way more to know the enthusiastic drama student 18-year-old Vinh, who dreamed of being an actor.

Now this 28-year-old Max, full of traumas and complexes knows enough about life to see through 28-year-old Vinh's walls and realize that he is not dry, but afloat and barely keeping himself together. That's why she can really connect with him, as a friend or more.

It was the traumas and secrets that made her interesting to Vinh, just like his traumas and regrets are what make Max interested in him.

They fit together because they share some similar emotional experiences and they know how the other might be feeling in certain situations. And when they are together, they can laugh about it, have fun and be themselves, even if just for a moment.

Amberprice

Honestly I left this fandom years ago without shipping Pricefield or Amberprice, because of some reservations about Chloe's character. But now I'm back because of DE and I decided to finish Before the Storm... I can't get Rachel out of my head!

Seriously, what's this magic in their scenes and why can't I stop watching them on loop?

I always thought I had a crush on Max, but I actually have a crush on Rachel Amber of all characters. Maybe I am Chloe Price all along 😂

You know a ship is good when it changes your perception of the characters.

[chryza]

Actually while my brain is on the subject I just want to gush about Executor for a moment because he is such a good and nuanced representation of an autistic person. At first glance he seems to be the pretty standard white male savant trope, but his character was really fleshed out with Executor the Ex Foedere and his appearances in Hortus and Zwillingstürme (and the prelude manhua).

I don’t think his icy, robotic exterior is cultivated, but I also think he was never given the chance to develop anything else. In a world where everyone around you can feel each other’s emotions (if they’re Sankta of course), to be cut off from that entirely? Of course he came to the conclusion that emotional expression was unnecessary or meaningless. He was never understood, he did not speak their language, so to say. And that very literal distance between him and the other Sankta is such a good representation of how it can feel to have autism. How many of us described it like a wall between us and the rest of the world, that we were only ever looking into?

And sure, he’s ruthlessly logical and straightforwardly blunt, but to mistake that for a lack of depth or a lack of feeling at all is not only incorrect, it’s sort of what he’s dealt with his entire life. Hortus de Escapismo especially highlighted a more tender, emotional side of Federico that soothes my wounded heart. He acts on feeling, without understanding why, he shows compassion and true empathy to the people of Sanctiliminium Ambrosii. He’s good with children because he treats them with the respect that children so desperately crave (which again is a very common experience amongst autistic people). What seems at first like a blank slate is simply a canvas in colors others refuse to see.

And that’s why I think Arturia is so important to him. She never treated him like he was any different, she saw the heart of what he was trying to say, she accepted and embraced his idiosyncratic behavior. And of course Arturia is a thousand more essays. But I will say I don’t think Federico missed that shot accidentally. Someone else maybe would have missed out of a lack of skill or being caught off guard by Arturia, but not him.

I think he really speaks to the heart of an aspect of autistic representation that is so often sorely missing—the struggle of existing in a world you feel cut off from. Trying to breach the barrier between yourself and others, to reach out and communicate in a way that matters. I wouldn’t say he feels any sort of grief about it, but you can feel him desperately clawing through the walls of reason he’s constructed around himself at the end of Hortus. It is a deeply human struggle. They don’t have to say on paper that he’s autistic. His entire story is one that so many autistic people know intimately as their own.

[cloudwatchwithme]

this is a very random very simple percabeth rant but i wanted to write it down :D

so i was talking about percabeth with one of my friends the other day, and we were discussing our feelings on it (keep in mind she’s gay and im queer) and how it’s not often we find white cis straight couples in fiction which are otp level?? like we’ve both been reading these since second or third grade and we were talking about hey, it’s been ages and i still absolutely adore this couple, i wonder why that is? and i know this is talked about a lot - like all the time - but i really do think it comes down to the power balance. percy genuinely really respects annabeth, and he’d trust her with not only his life but also with seeing him vulnerable. And considering he grew up in some very traumatic circumstances that’s really important, obviously. and it’s the same vice versa - everyone in annabeth’s life has left her, and she’s been overlooked for most of the time she’s been alive, and then here comes this guy with insane powers and a quest first try, and he picks her. he respects her, and treats her like she deserves. she’s not scared of him or chasing after him and he’s not always protecting her or doing the whole “yeah im normally super brooding and closed off but not with you. you’re different” male ya character cliche. and again all of this has been said thousands of times by everyone in this fandom but wow. they’re strong individual people but they’re still just a safe space for each other. and they’re don’t show their feelings in stupid ways like being angrily possessive all the time or being really overprotective?? i don’t know. they’re not codependent and their love for each other is completely mutual and they still have their own lives, even though they’re a drop everything kind of couple through and through. it’s a healthy sort of depiction of love, and it’s really fucking cool. rick did something really cool.

[wordbunch]

their love language [LOTR characters]

a/n: not requested, just a little idea that i've had and wanted to share 💛 do let me know how you liked it, what you think, and i always greatly appreciate reblogs and comments 🥰 i wish you a sparkling new year!

ARAGORN ♡ acts of service and words of affirmation

This man would do anything for the person he loves and he is the most comfortable when it comes to expressing his feelings in that way. Any type of physical labor and tasks is no issue for him if he can make it easier for you, and you have grown to notice it all the time and appreciate it. His heart doubles in size when you return your affections in that way too, especially since he isn’t exactly used to having things done for him. When the mood is just right, he has no trouble waxing poetic about you and elaborating his feelings, whether in Westron, Sindarin or any other language - you are worth all of them! When he does that, it’s usually in a hushed tone with a special air of intimacy, and it feels so sacred and special.

BOROMIR ♡ physical touch and quality time 

He is one tactile man and a human furnace, like, constantly, and having an arm around you simultaneously means keeping you safe as well. It’s a way for him to show his love, but also to be his protective self. However it’s not just you he’s trying to reassure through gentle touches, he also feels better and happier knowing you’re there and so close. Due to his position, he has many obligations and not always the desired amount of free time, so he’s keen on spending all on it on you. Boromir feels immensely guilty if he must cancel something last minute, or be late for a meeting with you because he was held up somewhere else, but you can count on the fact that he’ll make it up to you tenfold.

FARAMIR ♡ words of affirmation and quality time

As a person who is well-read and a romantic soul, yet someone who hadn’t particularly received many verbal validations, his absolute go-to are words of affirmation! He will shower you with sincere compliments, praise your achievements, reassure you when you’re down… he will even write poetry for you, or just recite something on the spot, it’s honestly the sweetest. Much like his brother, Faramir can be quite busy, but he tries to make sure that none of his duties interfere with the time that he sets aside to spend with his beloved. 

LEGOLAS ♡ gift giving and words of affirmation

This peculiar young prince doesn’t necessarily have a favorite way of showing you love and he can be all over the place with it - he hadn’t exactly had a bunch of experience with romantic relationships - but something that seems to be a constant is him giving you small tokens of his affections. Not even something fancy all the time, sometimes it will be a pretty flower or a hair pin, but everything pretty reminds him of your beauty and he wants you to know that. If he’s unsure about how to verbally explain all the ways you make him feel, he can always revert to one of many elven songs and poems to describe it!

FRODO ♡ words of affirmation and acts of service

He is a book boy and absolutely the type of person to write long, heartfelt letters! Initially he would hide behind them because it’s easier to write feelings down and slip that under your front door, but just give him time and soon enough he’ll be raving about how in love he is with you and how you’re the best of the best in his eyes - but face to face. Frodo is very selfless as we all know, and he’s able to anticipate your needs and help you with all sorts of things before you even ask for it. Also he really appreciates your gratefulness for it.

SAM ♡ acts of service and quality time

Acts of service is the ultimate love language of this sweet gardener!! He would do absolutely anything for you, strenuous or not, and not even expect anything in return. You’re aware of that and thus you make sure to properly thank him for everything he does in more ways than one. You always joke that he’s going to spoil you. Sam loves just existing with you, not even doing anything particularly significant, but just spending time together no matter what you do. Everything with you feels like home and he never wants to leave your side.

MERRY ♡ gift giving and physical touch

He definitely has a mix of all love languages, but surprising you with small tokens of affection and seeing your eyes sparkle in surprise is just his favorite thing! He notices and memorizes when you like something, and he will use the first opportunity to acquire it for you and make you happy. Besides that, having you physically close to him is a must - Merry is almost constantly fiddling with your fingers, has an arm around your shoulders, or just mindlessly scratching up and down your arm. It’s a simple reminder that you’re there, safe and loved.

PIPPIN ♡ physical touch and words of affirmation

Those are his favorite ways of both receiving and giving love: they’re so straightforward and genuine (and he is least likely to mess up). Everything seems better and brighter when your hand is securely clasped in his, or he receives a forehead kiss, or ruffles your hair and playfully nudges you. Pippin isn’t quite used to compliments and his cheeks will heat up every single time you offer him a genuine compliment or encouragement, and he wants to make you feel the same way - he can talk a lot anyway so, might as well talk about how wonderful you are!

ÉOMER ♡ acts of service and physical touch

Maybe he isn’t the best at romantic proclamations of love, or picking out the perfect anniversary present, but whatever you need him for, he will be there in a heartbeat. Secretly he likes to feel your eyes on him as he does something for you, it makes him feel very proud. Another thing that never fails him is physical affection, because sometimes hands and lips say more than words ever could. And he makes sure that you can feel exactly how passionate and loving he is in every single kiss and caress.

ÉOWYN ♡ quality time and physical touch

She loves her independence and her peace, but letting you in made her realize it’s not too bad having someone occupying her space and thoughts. Éowyn loves to include you in her daily activities and she really grew fond of doing all sorts of mundane things together - you just make them so much more vibrant and interesting. Something that became her weakness as soon as you two met was your gentle touch and affection like no other, especially after long days and during cold nights, and it’s a simple but effective way of showing how much she cares for you.

ARWEN ♡ words of affirmation and gift giving

She is a romantic soul through and through, and she never gets bored of praising you, whether it be for your kindness, beauty, wit, or anything else. She also loves discussing all sorts of topics with you and that’s one of the things that made her fall for you in the first place. Also, this beautiful elf-maiden likes beautiful, dainty things, and she loves making you happy through little surprises and meaningful gifts, especially subtle matching jewelry!

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