#but i wanted to let you know cause otherwise i am pressuring MYSELF lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bangct · 3 years ago

Text

A bit jealous?

Pairing: Ot7 x FEM reader

Genre: fluff, slight angst, slight nsfw

Warning: y/s is a crybaby, she's jealous and it shows, Yoongi is sorry but won't have it, aside from that, this is fluffy comfort and words of love. Choking, just a little bit, suggestive thoughts and that's it i think.

Summ: Being in a secret relationship with "the" band of the moment was by far an odyssey, it was not a secret how jealous you could get sometimes, and they would do things on purpose to make you mad, even when you tried not to show it, however not feeling quite good that specific day had an effect on you, and seeing you boyfriends have a little too much fun with 'that' girl made you lose it.

Word count : 13k(msorry)

Date: April, 19 2022

a/n: Right, I'm posting this as a first story, i had this in my drafts for so long I just needed to throw it out. I don't remember the time i wrote so it might not be that good, but i don't wanna loose it so il leave it here. i usually post nsfw but i wanted to start soft and I'll eventually show the dark side of this lol. I appreciate a good feedback, so do not hesitate, also be constructive not destructive.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The headache I had was becoming unbearable, I had been assigned to cover for a stylist who had called in sick, and of course, the staff was not going to risk the members by keeping a sick hairstylist. It was these moments that reminded me why I only worked in the music area and not as a stylist or makeup artist, of course I was capable to do it, but my patience was not so much under pressure, so once we had finished, I didn't hesitate to throw myself on the couch in the dressing room, my head was throbbing and my mood was going downhill. Several minutes had already passed and on the monitoring screen I could see how the guys were having fun and laughing in that interview. I got distracted for a moment and when I turned to see the screen again, I saw the girl who had been causing so much controversy but so much joy for the BTS fans, Halsey.

So, great, Halsey was there, as a surprise I guess, I couldn't hold back the smile that adorned my lips, I liked seeing them like that, genuinely happy, and Halsey was a good person, at least as far as I had known her, I was never a big fan of her music, but she seemed to get along with them, so it was all good.

The minutes passed and I was starting to get irritated with the way they were looking at her, although I wasn't going to deny my jealousy, I've always tried to stay out of it and not get carried away with my thoughts, however, the headache and my mood seemed to say otherwise and my annoyance only increased. My eyes wouldn't leave Jimin, who seemed quite comfortable being almost on top of her.

Can't they give her her own microphone?

Ugh, I wanted to stop watching them, it was starting to annoy me too much, I tried to calm down but couldn't, their bracelets, their matching outfits, ah, and what was that? Perfect mentioned Yoongi, of course, perfect.

I felt my blood boiling, so i decided to get up and go to the car, I knew it was the last interview of the day, so I went to manager Sejin and asked him if I could go to the car, he clearly noticed my state and as always in his concern, he asked if everything was ok.

"I am, there is nothing to worry about, you know how much these interviews stress me out, I just need to rest." Sejin narrowed his eyes without believing much in my words but he let me go, I mentally thanked him for not asking more questions, while I was gathering my things I could hear the commotion that the guys were making as they came back, I tried to do it as fast as possible so I could escape, but it was impossible.

I watched as they entered one by one, I frowned when I noticed that Namjoon was not there, but seconds later I saw him enter the dressing room together with Halsey, wonderful, just what I needed...

She saw me and smiled broadly, something that only made me feel terrible.

"y/n!!! What a surprise, I haven't seen you in a while, I'm so glad you're here." Without thinking about it, Halsey came closer and wrapped me in a tight hug, kissed my cheek and smiled even wider than before. "I was just asking Joon about you, it's good that you are accompanying him in these things, it can get tedious and it's great to have someone to take you out of the routine even for a moment, isn't it Joonie?"

Joonie?

The audacity of this woman, I restrained the urge to roll my eyes, and it seemed that Namjoon noticed it, since I got a glimpse of the way his frown was furrowing, I tried to put on my best smile and cleared my throat to be able to answer, at this point, the rest of the guys seemed to be very interested in what I had to say.

" Yes, it's so good seeing you too, I'm glad to hear that your collaboration is going in the best direction. I listened to it and well, you have a beautiful voice that suits it amazingly." While my words were genuine, the following was clearly a very direct dig at the seven who seemed pleased with my response.

"I mean, the guys have already told you how perfect and wonderful you are, I guess I have nothing more to say after such praise, I don't blame them, they are absolutely right." The smile on her face told me that she definitely had no idea about the reality of things, while looking at the guys, I could tell the hint of surprise and confusion at what I had said.

"Now, I really hate to say goodbye, but there's a car waiting for me, it was nice to see you, i hope to see you in the future, and congrats on the song. I'm sure it will go great." Without further ado, I gave her a short hug, grabbed my stuff and headed to the door. Of course the guys were even more confused, and I was more irritated than ever.

As soon as I was home I didn't hesitate to rush to the shower, wanting to scrub the stress out of me with soap. Once ready, I changed into my most comfortable pajamas and jumped into bed.

My head still felt like it was about to explode, and it definitely got worse when I heard the sound of the door opening. I think it was the first time in 7 years of our relationship that I hated hearing the sound of the door opening.

I tried to pretend to fall asleep while the noise increased, a few seconds passed, and I noticed how suddenly silence was the only thing that filled the place. Just when I was about to get up, the door to my room opened, and a black-haired man peeked his head out looking for a sign to enter.

"Noona? Can I come in?" Jungkook, it was more than obvious that they would send Jungkook to check that everything was okay.

"Yes, you can come in" my voice sounded muffled and somewhat irritated, which made jungkook frown.

I watched as he closed the door to my room and approached the bed. I looked at him from where I stood and couldn't help but sigh as I noticed the youngest of the seven, he was still in the same clothes from the interview but no makeup or shoes. He smiled at me and didn't hesitate to climb onto the bed, his hands traveled to my waist and in a second he pulled me to him, squeezing me and clinging me to his chest. I couldn't help the sigh that left my lips the moment I felt him close, my arms moved on their own and wrapped around him tightly, hugging him as if I was afraid he was going to disappear.

"What's wrong, Noona? You left without even saying goodbye, do you feel sick? Do you need me to call the doctor?" I quickly denied all his words, instead I hugged him tightly, feeling my eyes start to sting, which only indicated one thing, crying.

Jungkook pulled me away from him and cradled my face in his hands, concern filling his face.

"Baby, please tell me what's wrong, I hate seeing you like this, please." His words made my heart flutter, I knew that they all worried about me, and Jungkook had always made it clear, it was endearing.

"I'm just stressed and tired, I'm exaggerating, don't mind me." I grunted and lifted my face showing that all traces of crying were gone. He smiled, caressed my cheeks and moved closer to meet his lips with mine, I sighed and didn't hesitate to reciprocate, I loved the taste of his lips against mine, his hands traveled to my waist once again and he squeezed me gently, making me gasp slightly at the sensation.

He pulled away as he let out a light chuckle, which made me blush in a second.

"Cute" he murmured before leaving a small peck on my lips. "I'm sorry the hyungs made you feel bad, you know we all love you the same way and there's nothing or no one that will make us change our minds."

His words took me by surprise, making me lower my gaze for a moment in sorrow. I bit my lower lip and did not hesitate to hug him once again. I was so lost in his arms that I didn't notice the door opening once more, until I felt the bed slightly undulating next to me, clearly on the side where Jungkook was not. I pulled away from him slightly and turned my face to see Namjoon sitting there looking at me with a pout, yoongi and Jimin were also there, while hoseok, taehyung and jin were standing at the foot of the bed.

"We are truly sorry, you know we love you more than anyone else, and there is no one who can replace you." This time Jimin spoke softly, a slight pout on his lips and seemed to want to get closer, but he looked hesitant. The rest of the boys looked almost desperate, looking for an answer from me, anything to tell them that everything was okay.

I bit my lips and didn't know what to say, as I was quite embarrassed, Halsey had a boyfriend and her relationship with the boys was evidently professional and work related, of course, they were friends, but only that. I turned to Jungkook and hugged him tightly, hiding my face in his chest, which made him giggle. He didn't hesitate to put his arms around me and leave a kiss in my hair.

"She is clearly annoyed with you, I was clearly interested in snacks, losers." Jungkook laughed and as soon as he stopped I felt a pair of hands grabbing me from behind.

A gasp escaped my lips, and when I realized, Namjoon was pulling me to him, leaving me on his lap, which only made my face turn into all shades of red.

"Baby...Please don't be upset, I'm really sorry, you know it's all business, I never meant to make you feel bad." His words came out almost in a whisper, and of course, he was right, I was overreacting because of my annoyance and irritation.

"She called you Joonie" an unconscious pout appeared on my lips making the dimpled man laugh, and I swear I could hear the others let out slight giggles.

"You know I'm yours, baby, only yours, no need to feel jealous." His hands traveled to my face to caress it gently. Having the rest of the guys there, made it all quite familiar, being all together in my room, me on Joon's lap, yes, it was definitely all quite familiar, although the context was quite different, if you know what I mean....

Anyway, my thoughts were starting to consume me wandering way too far from what was happening, memories of other occasions filled me and I couldn't contain myself from biting my lips. Of course Namjoon noticed. He always does, as a low chuckle came out of his mouth making me feel almost like floating, one of his hands caressed my face while the other one went down to my waist.

"What are you thinking of, love? That mind of yours flies so fast, care to share?"

He murmured In a low tone that always made my knees weak and my head fuzzy.

"Hyung, you are making her blush too much, let us at least say something too" it was Taehyung who came closer to pull me into his arms, without waiting he started to fill my face with kisses as well as apologies for making me feel bad.

"Jagi, you know we love you, I love you the most but that's a different conversation, please forgive us."

Well, it was definitely a hard image to resist, just when I was about to say something I heard several grumbles from the others, who were complaining at taehyung's words.

"Yah, you don't love her more than us, brat" said Jin, coming closer to stand near me, as well as Yoongi and Hoseok who looked amused at the situation.

"I'm sorry I reacted like that, I was irritated and tired, but you know I didn't mean it, I love you guys it won't happen again." At this I felt how more arms tried to wrap around me without really succeeding, I noticed how Yoongi stayed behind, looking at everything with a smile. It seemed like Jungkook noticed it, so he threw a pillow at the older one while laughing.

"Yah, Hyung, aren't you going to hug her? I think she was most upset with you when she saw us in the dressing room." Said Jungkook while still laughing lightly, making Yoongi blush, something that didn't go unnoticed by anyone in the room. The aforementioned scratched the back of his neck, not really knowing what to do, Hoseok left a space next to him and pulled his hand to bring him closer to the bunch of bodies on my bed.

"Don't be shy hyungnim, it's been almost 8 years, get over it already." With that comment, Hoseok got a kick from Yoongi and laughter from the other five in the room. Yoongi reached over and grabbed my face to close the distance and kiss my lips, which I didn't expect. Yoongi was usually reserved when it came to affection, so it was a bit of a surprise when he kissed me. His hands roamed over my waist and torso. It was looking all innocent, until his hand wrapped around my neck with some strength, my eyes went big and of course, my face turned red. He looked at me with some intensity and something else I couldn't describe, as he came closer to my face, I could hear how my other boyfriends were whispering God knows what.

"I don't want to hear again that you are jealous, I don't want to take other actions, although I'm sure you wouldn't mind those." He smiled and oh god, it was that smile that made me turn into a quivering mess. I wanted to say something but I was way too focused on him to even do something. "I need you to understand that you are ours, and if you're ours there is no human force that will manage to make us stop loving you, so quit it, or we'll show you how it is."

A quite high moan escaped from my lips,it was now a different atmosphere, before I knew it, hands were once again trailing all over my body, they were soft but it was a matter of time for them to turn into something else.

"Please show me.."

#bts x reader #namjoon x reader #seokjin x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #polyamarous #ot7 x yn #bangtan smut

390 notes · View notes

ray-ray-writings · 4 years ago

Note

i really just love some sbi...maybe a drabble of the reader being awake for like 40+ hours and they’re streaming? so their chat is like spamming “go to beddd” and the reader is stubborn but eventually all of the sleepybois join her vc and are like “go to bed rn” so she does and they all express their concern afterwards and the reader confesses that they are feeling like they aren’t good enough and have to keep streaming and they all comfort her? reader is tommy’s age btw !

This is such a good idea lol... P.S. Enjoy this hurt/comfort because I have an SBI imagine coming out tonight and it’s all hurt and like very little comfort... It’s so sad guys... But enjoy this now lol.

So like I imagine that you wake up at 7 am, do your things to get ready for school, and go to school. You’re in school till three and then you get home, grab a snack, and go to your room and begin your stream. You do a lot of things on your stream which causes your stream to go for nine hours. Thank god it was Friday and you didn’t have school the next morning. But you’re yawning so much that chat begins to beg you to end stream and get rest. You try to brush them off, but they threaten to get Philza and so you huff and say your goodbyes before ending your stream with the promise that you were going to go to sleep… Yeah you lied.

Instead of getting into bed, you down a few energy drinks and begin editing for a new video you wanted to upload. That takes a few hours and so by the time you’re done, you realize the sun has come up and you’ve been editing for many many hours and have been up for over 24 hours. Regardless of the fact you’re tired, you are like, “well I can’t go to sleep now! That would throw off my sleep schedule, and I wouldn’t be able to stream and that would disappoint a lot of people... plus I’m not tired!” And so you begin making more content that you plan on uploading. As well as doing some of your school work. After a while, you glance at the time and realize you have to start stream soon. So you quickly save everything that you’re working on, go to the bathroom, go to the kitchen, grab a few snacks and some more energy drinks before heading back to your bedroom and beginning to stream again. So for a while you’re playing your games and talking to chat and somehow, probably because a donation asked you how your night went, but you let it slip that you didn’t actually go to sleep the night before and chat explodes. They beg you to go to bed and get the rest that you need and so very much deserve, but you ignore them. “Guys, I’m fine! I’m not even *big yawn* that tired… okay I know that looks bad but seriously I’m *yawn*.... Chat please” But they don’t stop spamming, asking you to go to sleep, but you refuse. You think that if you don’t stream, you’ll lose everything you’ve worked so hard to build. Your fans would slowly realize how bad of a streamer you are and you would lose everything. While you’re lost in your thoughts, people have started to spam the Sleepy boys, explaining what was happening. Philza is the first to see the worried tweets and immediately contacts Wilbur, Techno, and Tommy asking if they know about what’s happening. They don’t and so they decide to ring you as a group, after all if they all ask you to go to bed, there is no way you’ll be able to say no to them. You get a text from Philza asking you to join a Discord call and your attention snaps to chat. “Alright, which one of you snitched on me to my dad? What?” You demand, imitating a Tiktok you once saw. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw2v42-nG4c . Your phone buzzes again and this time it’s Wilbur also asking you to join the call. “And my brother’s too?” Chat begs you to join the call and so you let out a sigh and do what you’re told. As soon as you join the call, Wilbur’s voice fills your ears, “What are you doing awake?” “It’s nice to see you too Will… Techno, Phil, Tommy…” you greet, ignoring the question. “Go to sleep. You haven’t slept in 36 hours.” Techno deadpans. “Coming from your Mr. Insomniac” you shoot back. “Sleep” Tommy demands causing you to roll your eyes. “No” you mock, “I’m *yawn* fine guys. Really thanks for the check in, but I’m *yawn* fine.” “Those two yawns say otherwise.” Nothing seems to be working so Phil pulls out the big guns. “I will call your parents if you do not end your stream this instant and go to bed.” And you know he isn’t joking and if he does that, you’re parents will ground you. So you let out a defeated sigh but mute and deafen yourself in discord, wishing chat, who is now celebrating, a goodnight before ending stream. You unmute and undeafen in discord to wish the others a goodnight. “Goodnight Y/N… One question before you go though… Why would you do that to yourself. You obviously knew you needed to sleep, why push yourself like that. You know your fans would understand” Phil asks softly. And you don’t know if it’s the gentleness of the question or the fact you hadn’t slept in 36 hours, but you burst into tears. The boys let you cry it out, all a bit worried but not wanting to pressure you into talking or wanting you to feel bad. Once your sobs calm down, you apologize, “Sorry. Sorry. I’m just overly tired and emotional… But… It’s just that I’m not good. I’m not good enough. And I know that. I really do. But somehow my fans don’t. So I have to keep it up and push myself because if I don’t they’ll realize. They will realize I’m a fraud and that I’m not good enough and they’ll leave me and then you guys will leave me too and I’ll just lose you and I can’t handle that… Sorry, you probably don’t care. You didn’t need me to dump that on you like that… sorry.” The boys are silent for a moment. Their hearts ache at the confession. How could you not think that you’re good enough? You’re such a good and dedicated streamer and it shows in the content that you produce. It’s actually Tommy that’s the first to talk. “That’s bullshit” “Tommy!” the other three scold. “It is! Y/N is such a good streamer, one of the best on the platform! And they’re still so young! You’re fans aren’t going to hate you because you take time for yourself. In fact they’ll probably be more irritated if you don’t take care of yourself. You’re a good streamer Y/N… A great one. Of course you’re good enough. And you’re never going to lose us… We love you. You’re one of us.” Everyone is shocked at Tommy’s mature words. But they agree 100%. “He’s right kiddo, you’re never going to lose us. And you are a good streamer, but in order to be that good streamer you have to take care of yourself.” Philza chimes in. “Phil is also right. Do you know how hard chat bullies me when I don’t take care of myself? Really hard. Our fans love us and they want what is best for us. Taking care of yourself is a must kid.” Techno jumps in. “What they said” Wilbur deadpans causing everyone to break into laughter. “What? It’s true! You all said everything I was going to say! Stop laughing at me!” He whines, causing you to laugh harder. “Thank you boys. I feel a lot better… I’m going to go to sleep now… For real this time. Thank you. I love you.” “We love you too” they all chime back. “Goodnight” “Goodnight” and then you disconnect from the call. Sitting in your chair for a moment, allowing you to collect yourself before standing from the chair and wandering over to your bed and collapsing, your eyes closing and body shutting down into sleep as soon as your head hits the pillow. You were really lucky to have such amazing friends… Goodnight reader. Goodnight.

#mcyt #mcyt imagine #mcyt x reader #mcyt drabble #sbi #sbi imagine #sbi x reader #sbi drabble #sleepy bois #sleepy boys inc #philza #technoblade #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #ray responds #anon #asks

388 notes · View notes

rpbetter · 3 years ago

Note

Wha-? Now people are labeling muns who just play devil's advocate and don't have strong feelings either way about what other people write? I didn't sign up to be a 'proshipper' just for not caring what other people ship. I don't care about a lot of things. Why the label for this particular thing? It sounds so dumb, like a way to yank in more muns who just want to mind their own business into drama and 'sides'. I agree with your post, I'm just angry at the rpc for being babies. And the labels...

I'm always angry at the RPC for being babies and the labels, it's alright, Anon.

I believe (and I could be wrong, because for the most part, I tried to stay out of any and all fandom-related things for years and years - I just want to enjoy the movie/shows/books, I don't need or want to discourse about that shit, you know?) that all of those terms originated in fandom, outside/predating transfer to the RPC.

I know when I encountered them initially, it was in fandom, not the RPC part of fandom...and at that time, it was just the label of people being "antis." A label they gave themselves by, literally, asserting themselves as "anti-character here-."

It's been my supposition that the RPC's transition to being more canon character and fandom-based than OC-preferred led to an organic transfer of more fandom-specific terminology (and behaviors). As places like twitter and tumblr became hubs of fandom and RPCs, they brought tags to the table. While that is an absolutely wonderful thing, it also means that we all started out tagging things with good intentions, only meant to be tags. You could tag something, pulling from a random fandom here, "anti-Daryl Dixon" from TWD and the plethora of fans who love that character could block it. It was a peacekeeping measure at that state, not a flag for discourse and drama.

Tag-language influencing and becoming an organic part of language, in general, is a whole other, though fascinating, topic, so I'm going to just leave that there. The point is, it happened.

And unfortunately, you quickly got people popping "anti-whatever" in their bios and blog descriptions. Not as a means of allowing others to avoid it, but as a means of making it really clear that they despised the character, fandom, ship, whatever. With purity culture 3.5 hitting in earnest, the reasons for despising those things became raised stakes. It wasn't a basis of simply disliking them anymore - you needed a dissertation how this thing was morally objectionable and destroying the world. Anyone disagreeing with you, by that logic, is morally reprehensible themselves and must be stopped. Raised stakes.

Actions cause reactions, too. People started making it clear that they were "pro" whatever, too. These became opposing designations, and honestly, I'm not sure who started up "proshipper" first. I only know I saw it being used negatively first, that doesn't mean it happened that way! What I've seen has been the entire ship/write/like what you want crowd being given that label negatively and taking it up themselves in the same way people are given to take up a lot of things they've been negatively called.

By "what I've seen," I don't just mean witnessing it happening in the wild lol it happened to me, as well. I reblogged a post about how shipping wasn't activism, and got an anon informing me that I was a disgusting proshipper (every time I reblog that, I get at least one person popping off in my RP inboxes, actually, it hasn't slowed down any). At which point, I, too, was very much like, I'm a what now? Yes, I am okay with shipping? What the hell is this person even on about?

So, it's my theory that in response to the anti movement, some people stated that they were "pro-ship and let ship" and thus...we got to be "disgusting proshippers."

Regardless, it absolutely is just another way of labeling people in order to single them out and/or keep feeding drama, yes.

And again, I feel you. I know labels, good, bad, reclaimed, whatever, seem to give a lot of people a grounded sense of identity, but I've always been uncomfortable with them. I don't understand the need for them, even if I get that they make others feel a certain way. I just want to feel the way I do, be the person I am, and have that person engaged with based singularly on my actions.

It's alright if someone else wants to freely label themselves in a way they feel is positive (though, I do wish that younger people, especially in the queer community didn't have this batshit pressure to do so, and correctly, the first time), but they've always felt threatening and restrictive to me.

As such, having people create and bestow a label on me for the purpose of designating me a problem is kind of an uncomfortable realization of why I feel negative about them. I don't like it, and it's part of why I don't like the bullshit of making this distinction in DNIs. By doing so, they're literally as hell singling people out...with a negative label they gave them for the criminal act of feeling like it's absurd to police fiction, instead, expecting adults to behave like adults when engaging with fiction and each other.

It's honestly forcing hostility and drama, when the point of being ship/write/like and let ship/write/like is not having that hostility and drama. It's merely a live and let live mentality, that's what y'all are attacking! The labeling is a rotting cherry on top that is so indicative of this same, legitimately problematic, behavior that goes on in the extremism I talked about in the post you referenced. It's...gross, let's just say that.

And I'm really sorry that it makes you upset, too! You don't have to label yourself, you can reject that and refuse to engage with those using it in this negative way. That makes me feel considerably less annoyed and disturbed! I'll totally joke about it, as I do fall into the designated parameters of being both "proship" and "anti-anti," but I don't actually label myself thus. I only consider myself a reasonable adult who has better and more serious shit going on than to worry about what fiction someone else is writing or enjoying.

Just...do be aware that, like myself and others, you're likely to be labeled if one of these hostile parties sees you reblog the "wrong" thing or make the "wrong" statement. You are being labeled in those DNIs for your viewpoint of wishing to avoid absurd drama. So, I'd advise, for your peace of mind, to try to avoid blogs stating that they're "anti" anything but drama/bullying etc., or who feel it necessary to put up those DNIs. You are who they're talking about, they just don't know it because you're not labeling yourself or being otherwise obvious about it :/

Try your best to avoid that changing, you deserve to peacefully enjoy RP! As disturbing as it is, as rightfully upset about it as you are, maybe it's a good thing you found out? In this way, I mean. Without someone bringing it to your inbox hatefully. Now you know what it means, that they mean you, and you can stay away from it! Try to look at it that way - there will always be people weirdly desperate to make their drama hobby everyone else's problem, you can only make an effort to stay out of it if you know what to look for, right?

I hope any of this made you feel better about the fresh hell that is the RPC lol keep doing you, Anon! You're not the problem, infantile drama mongers are <3

#answered #anonymous #post and ask replies #rpc terms #fandom history #potentially #tumblr rpc #dni lists

9 notes · View notes

whitewolfmoving · 4 years ago

Text

Boston Burning Part Three

In Your Orbit

Summary: Chris takes Nika with him to the station during his next shift, there she's introduced to the latest transfer from Austin, Texas—Arden Daniels. A simple question from an outside perspective brings out an overdue confession in a roundabout way.

Warnings: cheesiness, flirting, Chris Evans absolutely doting on Nika Stan (yes it absolutely needs its own warning lol)

Word Count: 2770

A/N: This fic will feature a lot of implied signed dialogue, as two of the characters are a part of the Deaf Community. Dialogue expressed in ASL (American Sign Language) will appear in bold and italics preceded or followed by the proper indicators. Unless otherwise stated, regularly spoken dialogue will be used for interpretation purposes for characters who do not sign when mixed in with signed dialogue. As I, myself, am part of the Deaf Community and wanted to bring a character to the table that represented my own experience with my deafness, I DO NOT speak for all d/Deaf/HoH individuals nor the Community as a whole. I am but one person, these are MY OWN experiences. Happy reading!

"Are you sure you want to come to the Station with me tonight?" Chris asked, poking his head into the bathroom as he and Nika got ready to go.

"For the last time, Evans, I'm going. I'm not sitting around here waiting for shift to be over," Nika said, applying a small amount of antibiotic burn cream over her skin.

He put his hands up in surrender, leaning against the doorframe. He wouldn't offer to help her unless she indicated that she needed him to. "Alright, alright. I'll quit asking. I just want to make sure you're as ready to see everyone as they are to see you."

"Chris," she paused, looking over her shoulder, "I'll be fine, I promise. I'll take it easy and I'll let you or Lizzie or Scar know if I need to come home. Now, can you help me with my shoulder?"

Chris nodded and accepted the tube. He took his place behind her and moved her hair to the side revealing the wound on her shoulder to him. He gingerly rubbed a thin film of cream over the healing blisters. "It's looking better already."

Nika scoffed. She'd never really taken the time to look at herself in the mirror before, never really felt the need to. Since the fire, all she did was stare at her reflection.

"Hey," Chris said softly, "you're still just as beautiful now as you were before."

"Are you flirting with me, Evans?"

"Depends, is it working?"

"Maybe."

The two continued to stare at each other in the mirror; Chris's fingers idly glided over the rough skin of Nika's scar tissue. She watched intrigued as he leaned into his own touch of her skin instead of pulling away repulsed by the feeling as she would have been. Chris was good to her, too good, in ways Nika felt she hadn't earned.

As if he'd read her mind, he turned her around to face him, lifting her chin to look into her eyes. The pad of his thumb gently brushed over her cheek. Stop that. You don't need to earn my attention or my affection or my care.

Why are you so good to me? How can you just give me that much of your time so easily? Nika questioned, her hands moved furiously to highlight her frustration. Try as she might, she couldn't understand what he saw in her — more so now, thanks to the scarring left behind by the fire.

Chris understood that Nika's confidence had been shaken, he understood that she didn't see herself as she once had. It's simple, Nik. You're my best friend, it's yours if you want it.

The drive to the firehouse was quiet. Nika left her hearing aids at home, not wanting to burden herself with attempting to follow so many conversations. Chris was there to interpret for anyone who didn't sign, giving her a much needed break.

Chris pulled up outside of the station and looked over at Nika. He waited patiently for her to make a move or a sound or any indication that she was ready to go in. She sat still as a stone, amber eyes fixed on the brick and mortar building in front of them. Chris softly tapped her left knee with his right hand, grabbing her attention. You ok? Nervous?

Nika shook her head. No, not nervous. Indifferent.

We don't have to go in. We can go home. Whatever you want to do.

I want to go.

Then we go. Chris reached across the seat and grabbed Nika's hand. He slid his fingers through the spaces between hers, giving her palm a gentle squeeze. The soft look in his eyes was warm and calming, exactly as it had been in the mirror. He slowly brought their hands up to his mouth, softly brushed his lips over their tangled fingers, skimming her knuckles. Ready?

Nika answered with a small nod of her head, her eyes still trained on the spot where Chris's lips had touched her skin. His affection wasn't new to her, except the way in which it was being delivered. She communicated with her hands, and to have him now showing deeper levels of care to her with his own… Chris's touch was everything.

The passenger door opened to reveal Chris standing at her side, waiting to escort her into the station. His bright blue eyes found her smooth honey gaze, and a sense of ease washed over them both.

She took his hand when offered, smiling as she hopped out of the truck. Who is here tonight?

That you know? Scarlett, Lizzie, Scott, and myself.

Do they know about the fire?

Scott knows, he was with me when Seb called. Everyone else will know only if you want them to. Chris smiled reassuringly. He knew seeing everyone under the current circumstances would be a lot for her, but he hoped having at least him and his brother there would take some of the pressure off. The Evans brothers were good for interpreting, Elizabeth and Scarlett knew enough conversational signs, and Nika could get by fairly well on her own otherwise.

The warmth of the summer evening relaxed both Chris and Nika's nerves. He hummed softly as she leaned into the protective barrier his body offered, shielding her right side from further damage. He hadn't been there to protect her from the fire that had caused the initial injury, but he'd make sure no more harm came to her during her stay in Boston.

She tugged on his arm as they approached the firehouse and nodded toward the opened shutter doors of the apparatus bay where Scott was waiting for them.

Hey, Scotty. Long time, no see. Nika greeted the younger Evans brother, stepping away from Chris's side and giving Scott a hug.

Hey, Trouble. Glad to see you're up and moving. How's the arm?

Can't wait to get this cast off. I'm already tired of it and it's only been a week.

Scott chuckled, greeted his brother with a nod and quick hug of his own. "Chris, you two doing alright? Need anything?"

"No, Scott. We're good. Thanks," the older Evans answered. He adjusted Nika's backpack over his shoulder and watched her slip into a comfortable conversation with Scott. The brothers had been friends with Sebastian and Nika since the four of them were in grade school; when the Evans' family moved back to Boston when the boys were in middle school, every so often Chris and Scott or Nika and Sebastian would spend a weekend with their respective second family. Nothing could tear the bond they had apart.

As they got older, Chris grew closer with both of the Stan siblings while Scott branched out and made friends of his own. He still kept in touch, not as closely as his big brother had but enough to keep the bond with them alive.

Chris's brief trip down memory lane ended abruptly, when a surprised yet happy squeal from Nika met his ears. He turned to find her sprinting through the apparatus bay toward the back of the rigs, Elizabeth's brunette hair fanning out behind her as the two spun around in a reunited embrace. He caught up to them in time to see the sling slip from Nika's arm in all of the excitement.

He tapped her left shoulder and gestured to her right arm. Hey, careful! You're not 100% yet, Nik.

Whoops. Nice catch. Thanks, Cap. she blushed, biting at her lower lip as Chris helped her slip the sling back into place. She did her best to ignore the heat rising in her cheeks at the soft kiss he pressed into the side of her hair.

How long are you here? Elizabeth asked, drawing Nika's attention away from the Squad Captain.

Off duty until my wrist and burns heal, so I guess we'll see. Definitely long enough for girls night!

That's what I like to hear!

The girls erupted into a fit of giggles. Nika hadn't been back in Boston since her breakup three years prior; a nasty one that only Chris and Elizabeth knew the explicit details of. Girls nights had been out in hold in favor of the time and space she needed to work through what happened.

Chris carefully guided a happy and preoccupied Nika to the locker room, followed by Elizabeth, as the two desperately made plans for a much needed wine and gossip night. He knew better than to interrupt.

After depositing his and Nika's things into his locker, Chris finally decided he'd take a chance pulling her away from the party planning for a bit. He found the two friends huddled in a corner of the common area, chatting animatedly over two mugs of fresh coffee. Elizabeth alerted Nika to Chris approaching her from behind and she turned around with a warm smile.

Hey, what's up?

Not much. How's your arm?

Ok, a little sore. Lizzie and I are planning Girls Night.

Chris chuckled. He loved the way Nika's eyes lit up whenever she mentioned plans with their other friends, especially Elizabeth. The two of them were almost as inseparable as Chris and Elizabeth were, and he knew that whenever he couldn't be around for her, Elizabeth would be. He nodded at the brunette and gestured toward the offices.

Mind if I borrow Nik for a moment? There's someone I want you to meet.

Not at all, I need to find Scarlett anyway. I'll see you later. Elizabeth waved them off and went in search of the other paramedic.

So, who am I meeting? Nika asked, following Chris to his office. It'd been three years since she'd stepped foot in that small room, three years since she's been in Boston at all but it still looked exactly as she remembered.

Latest Squad transfer. I think you'll like her, he answered simply. He set her purse on his desk and led her back out to the apparatus bay.

As they rounded the corner, Nika noticed the woman across the bay next to the Squad rig who hadn't been there when they'd arrived. She had wavy chestnut brown hair about as long as Nika's and stood a couple inches shorter than Sebastian. From the back, she could be his twin—a thought that thoroughly disturbed the younger Stan sibling. As the woman turned, Nika noticed the glint of the lights off of something in her hair and squinted, trying to make out what it was.

What was that flash of light in her hair? she asked, pulling Chris to a stop before they approached.

Just go meet her. Please? For me? he said. He reached forward and gently touched her left shoulder, rubbing it reassuringly and tugging her forward with him. "Hey, Daniels. You got a moment?"

The woman paused her inspection of the Squad apparatus, and turned in the direction of Chris's voice. The light caught the strange piece in her hair and now that they'd moved closer, Nika recognized it as a cochlear implant.

"What can I do for you, Captain?" The woman's eyes shifted from her superior over to the younger woman standing next to him. She gave her a polite smile, but kept her professional composer as best she could in the presence of company.

Chris easily slipped back into ASL now that he had her attention, not wanting to leave Nika out of the conversation. He quickly made the proper introductions. Nik, this is Arden Daniels, the new transfer I was telling you about. Arden, this is my best friend in the entire universe and the most badass firefighter I have ever seen, Nika Stan. She's staying with me for a few days during recovery.

Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you. Arden relaxed, shook Nika's hand, and offered the man a small chuckle of her own. So, this is the girl you learned to sign for?

Nika didn't miss the way Chris's cheeks grew a light shade of pink at Arden's accusation, though all she could do herself was stare at her best friend and wait for his answer. She'd always wondered why he'd learned ASL but never thought to ask, assuming that like everyone else, that's just how things went.

I didn't learn for her. He shook his head with a soft smile. He glanced over at Nika whose warm amber eyes were trained on his face, and he couldn't look away. I learned because of her.

Isn't that the same thing? Arden continued once she'd had Chris's attention again.

No.

Arden, now interested in what Chris had to say, sat down on the bumper of the truck behind her. It'd become increasingly clear to Nika throughout this small interaction, that like herself, Arden's experience with hearing people wasn't always positive. Truth be told, she'd never really thought of Chris as "just another hearing person" because he'd never treated her as "just another hearing impaired" girl. But then again, their relationship was different entirely.

How is that not the same thing?

Because I could always learn to sign, but Nik could never learn to hear again. I learned ASL so that I could talk to my favorite person in the world without barriers.

He'd never admitted it before, at least not out loud. No one had ever asked except Sebastian once, and when Chris didn't immediately offer an answer, he didn't press the issue. After that, he never really thought about it. For Chris, it was self-explanatory. Why would you ask a Deaf person to accommodate you in a world that's made for you?

Well, now that that particular cat was out of the bag, Chris wondered how long it would be until Nika knew the truth of how he felt about her. He'd move heaven and hell to see her smile again, but he knew it wouldn't return until she was healed up and back on the job. He couldn't just let her go home after this, not when things were finally taking a step in the right direction.

The world needs more people like you, Captain. Hearing people who don't see us Deaf as something broken to be fixed. Arden said, grabbing Chris's attention once more.

If you think I'm great, you should meet Nik's brother. He taught me everything I know about being a good advocate for the Deaf Community.

Nika rolled her eyes at the mention of Sebastian. She loved her brother, but she was loving her time away from his overprotectiveness even more. Who do you think taught him what he knows? she joked, giving Chris a playful shove.

Arden couldn't help the smile tugging at the corner of her mouth as she watched the two of them interact. Chris was a goner...it showed in the brightness of his smile and the melody of his laughter.

I'm going to get back to it. But Nika it was nice meeting you. And if you're still around after shift, I'd love to get your number before you go.

It was nice meeting you too. I'm sure I'll see you again before the night's over. Don't let Evans run you into the ground.

Chris put his hand to his chest in mock offense. Hey! I resent that. I am a fantastic Squad Captain.

Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, C.

The air between Chris and Nika was playful and electric. He led her back to his office in a comfortable silence, her left hand securely tucked into his right one. Both of them were coming down off of the excitement they shared with Arden, and the weight of his near-confession still hung just out of reach.

He shut the door behind her to give them some privacy.

So, what'd you think of Daniels?

Nika shook her head with a chuckle. Female Seb, but Deaf. It's weird.

I thought the same thing when I first met her. She's good at her job. he offered.

Hey, Chris?

Yeah, Nik? What's up?

Chris stopped in front of where Nika leaned carefully against his desk. She was staring down at her shoes, lost in thoughts she hadn't yet shared with him. He tucked his finger under her chin, lifting her head to meet his gaze. What's wrong?

I was just wondering… what are you doing with your time? Her soft honey eyes found his mesmerizing blue ones.

There in the quiet of his office, Chris did the one thing he'd been waiting to do for seven years—before he could talk himself out of it, he leaned down and softly kissed Nika's lips.

It's yours if you want it.

To The End of All Things Taglist: @suitofvibraniumarmor @pinknerdpanda

#boston burning #sebastian stan fanfiction #chris evans fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #firefighter au

8 notes · View notes

cofferi · 4 years ago

Text

Just some FFXIV thoughts....

To start, here's some boring info about me: I used to play Maple Story, Flyff, and Ragnarok Online, as well as a myriad of other obscure mmos and private servers back in the 2000s. Point is none of these were considered hardcore in the slightest.

So, starting ffxiv after so long kind of hit me like a train. I get to level 15 where I must queue up for my first low level dungeon Sastasha in order to move forward with the story. I don't have friends so I will be grouped up with 3 random strangers. The expected wait time to get in is like 7 mins. I wait about 5 mins and then withdraw from queue.

I have to do stuff with others??? Ummmmmmmmm. I honestly wandered around the map for like half an hour just questioning myself and if I should keep going.

Tank? Healer? DPS?

Coming from games of long ago where you just kinda wanted to have a healer on your team but you had no real obligation to, ffxiv actually recognizes the job roles and specifically requires a party of 1 tank, 1 healer, and 2 dps. You cannot deviate from this! (Well, you can but that's not typical, and later dungeons expand the number of players in a party but the general idea of requiring at least one of each role is still the same). It's interesting to me how this structure has become so sacred. Dungeons cannot be completed without you doing your specific job. It's to promote efficiency and comfort so everyone generally knows what to do as well as what others will do right off the bat.

Visibility AKA "Why are people looking at me"

Oh no. So, if everyone has a job to do that means there is the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known. If you don't do your job, your party members WILL notice lol! And it will be obvious because there will be just 4 of you in the party. It's not hard to see what 3 others are doing. Further, if you're tank/healer, you will be the only one of your job role in your party. If you don’t follow your role, no one else can cover for you. You are very visible. And that's very anxiety-inducing!! You don't want to let the party down. Here are some notable job anxiety narratives:

- Tankxiety. You have to essentially lead your party through a scary maze-like dungeon. Nobody will move unless the tank moves first because the tank needs to be the one to take initial damage and get enemy aggro. You are therefore kind of expected to know your way around and where to go. This is less about competency, though, and more about confidence in yourself. If you get lost, no one tangibly loses anything. You just find the way eventually. Playing tank forces you to learn maps and enemy patterns. As someone who would rather fade away into the background, this scared the shit out of me.

- Healing responsibility. If someone/everyone dies, it's your fault. It's common to feel like this even if your party consists of 3 dumbasses who can't play and kill themselves on purpose. You feel responsibility because the whole point of you is to take care of everyone. That's the reality, and that's a lot of pressure. Playing healer forces you to have 0.1 reaction time, learn enemy patterns, and know how to prioritize who gets to live and who stays dead. People’s lives are on the line. When I was a child, I told my parents straight up I could never be a doctor.

- No real dps bad narratives though except to git gud. You're not as visible at being bad dps unless you literally stand there doing nothing. You can be head empty no thoughts about most maps and enemies as long as you react normally enough.

This game sounds very unforgiving and mean

To combat this anxiety hurdle, there is a huge focus on guiding and taking care of new people who don't know much. You have a literal sprout icon next to your name until you catch up to the latest expansion. So, like 1000+ game hours?? You are overtly "new" for a very long time.

Because the game is so heavily story-driven and requires a new 4-person dungeon run literally every step of the way, these dungeon queues need to have a steady stream of players ready to run them at all times. Otherwise, it would be actually impossible for newbies to get through the story. Not everyone has friends to make a pre-party with, ok cool guy. Majority of dungeon crawling is done with random parties.

So, you get rewards out the ass for running "duty finder" daily which puts you in a random unlocked dungeon with an automatically-generated party of random people. It is the #1 best way to get exp and level up. You are essentially rewarded for helping out new people to do their required dungeons. You can give advice during the run, tell them how best to go about things, give tips on their job, etc.

I find this so smart as a game philosophy in order to get people to constantly play/revisit all content while also being friendly to new people. New people are the lifeblood of a game. You literally cannot just play in a bubble with only top tier savage raider people and shield yourself from new people or incompetency. Not that I'm calling only new people incompetent.

Competency AKA "What am I doing and why am I bad”

The side effect of running these dungeons randomized is that you will often be dropped into one that you completely forgot about. The average person cannot memorize every single one and everything that happens in it. The game came out in 2010 so there is 10+ years of content.

If this game teaches you anything it's that You Will Fuck Up and it will be a lot and until the end of time. You are honestly forced to come face to face with your own incompetency nearly every time you log on lol. In a sense, you try to put on your best performance every time you enter a 20 min dungeon instance and just hope you don't cause a party meltdown.

It won't matter how many times you practice your rotation or how many times you run through the same dungeon over and over. You will inevitably forget something, you will misclick, you will get tunnel vision and forget to move from an aoe and get slammed in the face and die.

But it's fine. I see people dying to dumb shit all the time. It's fine because you get up and try again. Dungeons are not so difficult that you can't get through it on a second try, usually. There are no consequences to dying or performing sub-optimally except your own personal shame, time, and sadness. In fact, there's an exhilaration you get when things get particularly hairy but everyone pulls through by the skin of their teeth and manages to make it out alive.

CONCLUSION: You are important and contribute to the fight in your own way.

Only once you get over the Mortifying Ordeal can you then achieve the Rewards of Being Loved. There is something so satisfying about each successful dungeon run and knowing it is the result of each party member's cumulative contribution. When a role is missing or dies, there is a noticeable difference. (Even dps. Sometimes fights are ones of attrition and will take 5-10x longer without dps).

So, yes, you are extremely visible to other random strangers who may judge you. But that also means that when you do a good job, your good job is visible. 80% of my dungeon runs end in the party thanking each other. The pressure the game puts on you to do your best but not to stress too hard about it is just enough, in my opinion.

You are encouraged to get over yourself, your ego, your own anxiety.

Personally, it is a point of pride for myself if I am able to hit all my buttons right when I'm supposed to. I want to be good for myself and for my random party members who I will ride or die for after just 20 mins. The game wants you to do your best, to be social and communicate when things go awry, and also to be humble in the face of weird shit happening -- all at the right levels. And then you are treated to the coolest damn visuals and game mechanics I've ever experienced!

5 notes · View notes

skinsharpenedteeth · 4 years ago

Text

kinktober 3

A/N: 3rd Kinktober piece. Smutty smut. Sex pollen, in heat, mate or die type fic so the normal dub con warning is there, but otherwise it’s Malex being dirty together. lol. hope you enjoy. Prompts filled: In Heat / Bondage / Multiple Orgasms. You can also check out this fic on AO3.

Michael came to slowly. The thing he noticed first was the grey concrete ceiling above him. He was in the bunker? He turned his head and noted the lamps and side tables to either side of the bed. Definitely not his bunker then. His mind felt like he was having to swim through honey to make simple deductions. Why was this place familiar? He pulled at his arms so he could prop himself up and met with resistance. Jerking his head to either side, he looked at his wrists and noted the sturdy leather cuffs around each one. He pulled his arm again, straining to see if there was any give in the restraint and found none. He tried to reach out with his mind, to access his telekinesis so he could undo the securing straps, but found he was having trouble focusing his power. A shuffle from across the room drew his attention and he saw Alex descending a ladder into the bunker with him.

“What the fuck, Alex? Where the hell am I? Why have you got me chained up like this?” Michael yelled, immediately enraged as he took in Alex’s resigned, determined look. It was his soldier face and Michael hated it because it usually meant he was about to be unreasonably logical and stubborn about something.

“You’re alright, Guerin. Max and Iz helped me get you down here. They had to knock you out. Apparently, Mr. Jones hit you with some alien powder and it made you go nuts. Kind of like the pollen that mutes your powers, but different. You were insensible they said, and they didn’t know how to handle you, so they brought you here. Apparently, I’m their top choice for babysitter. I’m sorry about the restraints, they thought it would be the safest bet until we had an idea what the powder would do to you long term.”

Alex had kept moving towards Michael as he talked. The lights around the room had taken on a shiny, haloed quality to them, like looking through the dark windshield of a car in the rain. The closer Alex got, the harder it became for Michael to think through what he was saying, he just felt… thirsty. Alex sat next to him on the bed, his voice coming in and out of focus as he continued musing about the possible effects the alien powder might have had. Michael’s joints ached like he needed to relieve some tension in his muscles that wasn’t there. He stretched against the mattress, fidgeting, and trying to get comfortable, pushing and pulling. He didn’t realize he was trying to get closer to Alex until he managed to press his hip to Alex’s where he sat. Alex stopped talking and looked down at where they were touching.

“Michael? You okay?” Alex asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he laid what was supposed to be a comforting hand on Michael’s chest. There was a sound like metal protesting against too much pressure and Michael shut his eyes as a blinding headache came over him.

“Michael!? Michael!” He heard Alex yelling his name from so close, but so far away. He didn’t know what was happening to him, what he needed, but it felt like his skin was going to burst open and pour out his insides if he didn’t get it. He felt a cool hand on his cheek, tapping slightly, and it was like someone had put out one small flame in the middle of a forest fire.

“Alex…” Michael moaned, canting his head into the touch on his cheek.

“Michael, I’m here. What do you need?” Alex asked, his voice sounding almost like it was coming from the other side of a tin can telephone.

“Touch me,” Michael cried, his voice breaking under the pain licking through his body.

“I am, Michael, I will,” Alex answered desperately, putting his other hand against Michael’s neck, smoothing it over all the skin he could reach.

“I need more, Alex. Please, so much more. It hurts,” Michael begged. He didn’t know how he could feel tears on his skin outside of all the other sensations he was having, but he knew he was legitimately crying.

“Okay, okay… let me think,” Alex said, keeping his hands on Michael’s face as he looked down Michael’s body. “Okay. I’m going to have to let go for a minute.”

“NO!” Michael yelled, body writhing against the sheets as he continued trying to push his way closer to Alex’s body.

“Just for a minute, Michael. I have to get undressed and… and grab some scissors.”

“Wait, wait, please, Alex, no. Don’t stop touching me, don’t stop, please. Alex, ALEX!” As soon as Alex’s hands left Michael’s face he was screaming and arching off the mattress. It felt like someone was twisting his guts and roasting him alive. He wasn’t aware of anything that Alex was doing. He had no concept of how long Alex was taking, only that it was too long. He was too far away from Michael and Michael needed him. He needed him like he was oxygen or water. He needed him now and not later.

“Hold on, Michael. I hope you’re not in love with any of these clothes you’re wearing,” Alex tried to joke and Michael heard the snip-snip-snip of scissors before cool air rushed over his skin. It was a relief, but only for a second before the flames inside of him started up again.

“Oh…” he heard Alex say, sounding like something had just been made very clear to him. Michael opened his eyes a fraction to stare at him, to see what had caused him to make that noise. Alex was staring down his body and Michael lifted his head, terrified of what he’d find. Was he missing a limb? Was he covered in wounds that made him feel like he was being grilled alive? What was…. Oh.

Michael was rock fucking hard. His cock was red and angry, hard enough to pound nails, and was dribbling precome onto his stomach like a leaky fucking faucet. Michael didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to react, because he hadn’t been aware he was hard until he looked down. Now that he knew, it was like that was all he could think about. He needed Alex to touch him, needed to feel him everywhere, needed to mark him up with his come and claim him.

“Wait- you need me to claim you or you want to claim me?” Alex asked, looking at him in confused shock. Apparently, Michael had said that last part out loud. Michael couldn’t explain, a fresh wave of heat, need, and pain rolled through him and he had to grit his teeth to keep from screaming again.

“Okay, okay. You seemed to do better when I was touching you. I’m going to get undressed and lay across you, try to get as much skin to skin contact as possible. We’ll see if that helps you enough to let you be able to talk to me,” Alex said in a rush, standing and stripping out of his clothes in record time. Michael barely had time to appreciate the expanse of tan skin and muscle exposed to him before Alex was climbing awkwardly over him and stretching out to cover him with his body. As soon as Alex’s weight settled, it was like Michael had gone from a car wreck to a bee sting in levels of pain. His mind cleared, his muscles began to relax, and he took great gulping breaths of air. He felt Alex’s hands on him, petting his neck and chest as Michael started to calm down.

“Is this working, Michael?” Alex asked, his face so close to Michael’s that he almost couldn’t focus his eyes on him. Alex pushed himself further up Michael’s body and pressed his cheek to Michael’s before repeating the question. The movement against Michael’s cock reminded him how hard he was and he moaned again, but this time in pleasure.

“Yeah, yeah it’s working. Fuck you feel good,” Michael commented as he found himself once again straining to touch more of Alex’s body. His hips hitched upwards under Alex’s weight as he struggled to get some more friction.

“Thanks,” Alex replied dryly. “Do you think you could answer some questions?”

Michael nodded weakly, eyes closing as he tried to concentrate on Alex’s words.

“What did you mean when you said you needed to ‘claim’ me?” Alex asked, voice low and serious. The word ‘claim’ sent a spark down Michael’s spine and he clenched his jaw so hard he thought his teeth would crack. He tried to sort through what his body was trying to tell him about what it was feelings and what it needed, but he could feel Alex’s cock starting to get hard from the friction of his movements underneath him and it shattered his concentration. His body was starting to heat up again and he whined as Alex pulled his hips back to stop Michael from focusing his attention where it didn’t belong.

“I don’t know, Alex! It just… it feels like I need to mark you. I’ve got so many urges right now just flooding through me. I want to fuck you, I want you to fuck me, I want to gag on your cock and have you paint me in your come, I want to mount you from behind like a fucking dog and just rail you for hours. I want you to smell like mine and taste like mine and I want to rub myself so deep into your skin, you’ll never wash me away. It’s… it feels so instinctual. It doesn’t feel logical or politically correct. I feel like I’m going to lose my fucking mind if I can’t keep touching you right now. It’s so hard to concentrate, Alex, because I need you to touch me,” Michael rushed the words out of him without considering what he was saying. “This isn’t like having blue balls, Alex. This is like being set on fire and electrocuted at the same time. Please touch me.”

“Oh, Michael,” Alex sighed, his voice sounding so sad. Michael knew it wasn’t fair to ask Alex to do this for him, to lay his hands on him when he was in such a new thing with someone else and Michael was barely free of Maria.

“Please Alex, I’m in so much pain. Just please,” Michael begged, voice beginning to go thick with desperation.

He waited for Alex’s move. He could feel the tiny puffs of his breath ghosting over the pulse point in his neck. Alex’s hands were rubbing up and down his arms like he was trying to soothe a spooked horse, slow and meditative. His lower back was starting to have that feeling like his muscles were trying to cramp. It wasn’t sharply painful like a Charlie horse, but more like a bone deep ache that pushed outwards. It was like the pain was between his bones and growing and there was no movement, no solace he could give himself from it. He needed Alex to agree to help him. He needed to come.

“Please…” he whispered, raising his head and laying a gentle kiss on Alex’s shoulder. His tongue sneaked out and he tasted the skin under his lips. Alex tasted clean and a little like salt. He felt Alex’s hands freeze on his biceps and Michael kissed him again, moving his lips up Alex’s shoulder to his neck. He pushed his power out on instinct, pressing down on Alex’s lower back to bring their hips back together so he could grind upwards against him, even as he sucked and bit at the most prominent muscle in Alex’s neck. A high-pitched, broken whine was his reward and Michael felt a possessive wave surge through him. He wanted to swallow that noise, wanted to eat it as his breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He let go of the flesh of Alex’s neck and tilted his head to suck Alex’s earlobe, teeth teasing the sensitive skin, before he let is fall from his mouth.

“I need you, Alex,” he whispered. He was answered with a whimper before Alex lifted his head and pushed his lips against Michael’s. It felt like ecstasy. Michael opened his mouth immediately, tongue snaking out to meet Alex’s in a series of hungry, biting kisses. Alex’s hands clenched around his upper arms and Michael felt his shift his body on top so that he could get some leverage between them and move his hips against Michael’s with purpose. On the first downward grind from Alex’s body, Michael felt his body’s tension ratchet up from 75% ready to blow to 99%.

“Fuck, Alex… just a little more. I’m so close,” Michael gasped after he wrenched back from Alex’s mouth to suck in some air. Alex groaned above him and Michael felt him pull his hand down between them. It took exactly one pull from Alex’s hand for Michael’s climax to start. He heard himself growling as he fucked himself through the sticky mess that had started coating Alex’s hand, riding the tide of relief. It felt like a cool blanket had been put over his skin. He was aware of Alex thrusting his hips against him still, his cock dragging through the cooling mess on his stomach and then with an almost pained grunt, adding to it. Michael wanted to taste it, wanted Alex to lick it off him and feed it to him with kisses, but he didn’t say anything. He let Alex collapse boneless on top of him and he reveled in the afterglow.

“Was that it?” he heard Alex croak next to his ear. Michael thought about it, catalogued the sensations of his body. He could still feel the fire of need, but it was banked for the moment and he could think clearly. He had no doubt it would return, but he had no idea how quickly. He shook his head and kissed Alex’s shoulder as something of an apology.

“I don’t think so. I think it’s more like I’m getting a quick breather. I can still feel whatever this is influencing me, it’s just like… like I’m getting a break. God, this feels so weird, Alex. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry this is happening to us. I… I know this isn’t what you want, I just.. I don’t know if I’d survive just gritting my teeth and trying to do without right now,” Michael babbled his apology, hoping Alex would forgive him someday.

“Guerin, it’s fine. It’s not a perfect situation, but it’s not the end of the world. If there’s one thing I know I can do for you confidently, it’s make you come your fucking brains out as many times as necessary,” Alex said, laughing weakly at his joke.

“You are really good at that. You make me stupid and keyed up. If you’re in the room on a normal day, all I can think about is how good you look naked, how much I miss the way our skin feels when we’re alone and sweaty and on round three…” Michael trailed off, recalling some of those times in his mind as he spoke.

“Guerin,” Alex spoke up, breaking his daydream. “You’re still hard.”

Michael swallowed and nodded. He’d started to feel the need building in him again.

“You don’t happen to have any lube in this sex dungeon, do you?” Michael asked in mock casualness, even as his hands flexed and he felt the ache in his joints starting up again, body writhing to try and stem the ache.

“Shit. Fuck. Okay. You’ll have to let me go upstairs ‘cause I didn’t expect to ever use this place as an actual sex dungeon. Do you think you can go ten minutes without me touching you?” Alex asked, nervously looking over his shoulder. Michael tried to think about it, but his brain was fogging fast and his cock was throbbing where it was trapped between his and Alex’s bodies. Regretfully, he shook his head.

“Maybe,” he gasped out, glad Alex hadn’t hesitated this time and had taken his cock in hand the moment after he registered his body had given and not his mouth. “Maybe if you go right after I come…maybe I can make it.”

Alex tightened his grip almost imperceptibly, but it was enough for Michael. He moaned, hips chasing the sensations of Alex’s hand on him as Alex pulled out all his favorite moves. He moved down Michael’s body with his mouth, lips closing over one of his nipples and making Michael cry out. He bit down gently and sucked at him, abusing the rosy bud with this tongue and teeth as he used his hand to push Michael closer and closer to another orgasm.

“God, Alex, your fucking mouth…” Michael moaned when he felt Alex release one and move over to the other. Once again, he found himself fighting against the wrist restraints. He wanted more. He wanted to encourage Alex to take that talented mouth just half a foot lower on his body and swallow him down. He wanted to hold him there, feel him gagging around his cock, his throat muscles squeezing and releasing him. The idea was hot, but he also knew that he wasn’t in control. So he didn’t ask Alex to go down on him, not yet. It wouldn’t have mattered if he had, he was quickly approaching another orgasm and Alex’s hand was doing a fine job of getting him there.

“Come on, Guerin. You’re so close, I can feel it. Come for me, baby, and I’ll go get some lube and we can really get each other dirty,” Alex encouraged him, wrist twisting on the down stroke and coaxing Michael to let go for the second time half an hour. It felt good, but it wasn’t as good as the first one. It didn’t feel like it would be enough for the next one.

Alex tentatively sat up, putting space between their torsos as he looked down at Michael speculatively. Michael was breathing harshly through his nose, but he could stand the separation.

“Go ahead. Go get the stuff now before it comes back,” he said, closing his eyes so he didn’t have to watch Alex walking away. Alex climbed off him gingerly and Michael could feel every inch that stretched between them as he quick stepped his way to the ladder and up to the main part of the cabin. Sweat broke out across his body almost as soon as he heard Alex moving around in the house above him. It didn’t feel like fire this time, but like pins and needles all over his skin that grew more intense as he waited. His cock had managed to soften slightly after the last orgasm, but he still felt anxious and needy. His skin felt absurdly sensitive and every slight shift in the air around him had him gritting his teeth. His mind tried to concentrate on his telekinesis again, seeing if he could work on the cuffs at his hands, but as with the first time, all he could manage was a brief nudge with his abilities before his concentration shattered.

“Alex,” he called, his voice sounding weak even to his own ears. He was so thirsty. His mouth felt like the Sahara and he just needed something to drink. He needed Alex whispering soft words of encouragement to him so he could keep coming until he could sleep. He just needed… Alex. And he could hear him moving around upstairs and wondered how long he’d been gone. Somewhere in his distracted brain he knew it hadn’t even been ten minutes yet, but his body felt touch-starved and bereft like it’d been ten years.

“Al-lex…” he whined into the air, hands and legs starting to thrash against the restraints. Why was he like this? What did he do to deserve this? Why wasn’t Alex here taking care of him?

“Just a sec, Guerin. I’m almost done up here,” Alex’s voice floated down from the upper floor. Michael thrashed harder, body trying to twist and break free. He wanted to be where Alex was. He needed him. Needed to touch him. Needed to be free to mark him. He still hadn’t claimed him. Alex was away from him unmarked, unsafe, not his. Not his, not his, not his.

“ALEX!” he screamed, visions of other men coming upon Alex and taking him in his head. He was tied up, he couldn’t protect him. He couldn’t defend his soulmate. He would die if he couldn’t see him soon, couldn’t make sure that he alright, make sure he was still his.

“Jesus, Michael, I’m here,” Alex responded, sounding a little impatient. Michael watched him climb down the ladder, each new few inches of skin revealed like balm to him. He had a bulky backpack slung over his shoulders that made him more careful with his movements as he descended.

As soon as he reached the bottom, he turned and started walking as quickly as he could towards Michael. He dropped the backpack onto the side of the bed and sat next to Michael, pressing his naked hip to Michael’s waist.

“You look strung out. Shit, I’m sorry I took so long,” Alex apologized as he unpacked his bag. Through clenched teeth and gently trembling muscles, Michael watched him put three bottles of Gatorade onto the nightstand. He also pulled out a frankly indecent sized bottle of personal lubricant that even through a heat haze Michael gave him a raised eyebrow over. “Shut up, it was a gift,” was all Alex could say about it, though he was grinning when he said it. Lastly, he pulled out a package of wet wipes, plopping them onto the nightstand near the Gatorade and promptly pulling one free of the package.

“This might be cold,” Alex warned him before carefully starting to clean off the mess on his stomach. Michael hissed in a breath against the coolness of the cloth. He’d wanted something cool earlier against his skin, but now that Alex was near him his temperature had risen again to the point where even if it was room temp, it was too cold for him to bear. Also, probably more worryingly, as Alex cleaned the old spunk off him his mind started to fog back over into primal need.

“Stop! Stop, Alex, fuck!” Michael managed to get out as the fire and pain returned, seeming to be pinpointed at the where Alex was cleaning him. He was panting against the feeling of pain that had come over him. Alex watched him in growing alarm and then looked down at the cloth in his hand.

“OH!” he exclaimed, tossing the cloth somewhere to the side of the bed. Michael couldn’t see and didn’t care. He watched Alex quickly bend down and start stripping off his prosthetic and liner, his movement practiced and quick, before he turned and straddle Michael’s hips. He immediately covered Michael’s body with as much of his as he could. “Better?”

“Nooooo,” Michael cried piteously. “Need more. Please, Alex, let me have a hand. I’ll show you, please?”

“Non-negotiable right now, Guerin. I can give you your feet back, but that’s about all I’m willing to compromise on. You’re not in control of yourself,” Alex said, immovable in his decision. Michael whined, pressing his head back into the mattress and arching against Alex’s body.

“Please, Alex. I need to be in you. Or you in me. Something. Hand job won’t do it this time, please,” Michael begged.

“69?” Alex offered, pressing his lips to Michael’s cheek and jaw in apology. It wasn’t what Michael had meant, but he’d take it. He’d take anything Alex would give him. He swallowed and nodded quickly. Alex maneuvered his body over Michaels, knees bracketing Michael’s head with his cock swinging enticingly in front of Michael’s face. Michael looked down between their bodies and watched Alex reach down to grab himself and angle his cock towards Michael’s mouth. Michael opened his mouth and licked at the tip with a broad, flat tongue a few times before closing his lips around Alex’s flesh and beginning to move his mouth over the flesh. The angle was strange and he felt like he was only doing half the job without the use of his hands, but it felt amazing to have Alex in his mouth, dick hardening further against his tongue as he sucked and laved at the hot flesh. Alex indulged in a few seconds of just letting Michael work on him before letting his hand fall away, trusting that Michael could keep him in his mouth.

Michael was back to painfully turned on and the first touch of Alex’s tongue had him thrusting up in reflex. He made an apologetic hum through his mouthful of Alex and was rewarded with Alex’s own reflexive hip jerk. He wished he could communicate to Alex that he wanted more of that kind of attention. Alex could fuck his face like this, take what he wanted from Michael, and Michael would let him do so happily. He gathered what little bit of his concentration he could gather with Alex’s mouth working his shaft like his favorite flavored popsicle and used it to once again push down on Alex’s hips, encouraging him to give in to his natural urge to hump forward against the pressure of Michael’s tongue and lips.

“Guerin!” Alex gasped, mouth popping off Michael’s cock as he fought the unseen force pushing at his hips. “Stop. I can’t… there’s no way for you to tap out if it’s too much.”

Michael pulled his head back and let Alex’s cock pull free from his mouth so he could answer.

“It’ll be fine, Alex. I just want to feel like you’re getting something from this. I can’t… do much… at this angle with just my mouth and no hands,” Michael explained, frustration evident in his voice.

“You were doing fine, Michael,” Alex replied, voice going a little soft in affectionate exasperation.

“That is not good enough, Alex. If I’m going to be giving a mediocre blowjob to someone, it isn’t going to be you!” Michael said a little insulted and looking at Alex like he was insane.

“Oh my God, Michael,” Alex replied, leaning his forehead on Michael’s hip while he laughed weakly. He tipped his body sideways and laid half on top of Michael, curling his leg over Michael’s chest and propping his head up on his hand as he looked down towards him still grinning. “You must be feeling better because I have no clue how else you would be worried about my pleasure right now. I mean, would you give the same consideration to Max?”

Michael gagged. It was such an immediate reaction to thinking about Max in any sort of sexual sense that his body responded before he was even sure he’d fully comprehended the question. His reaction did give him a moment of clarity as he quickly filtered through his body’s reaction to literally anyone else being here with him for this.

“I think…. I think that my reaction is based on my relationship with you? Like… obviously I have no clue how to test the theory and I don’t want you getting ideas to play scientist like Liz, but…” Michael paused, trying to ride a spike of need that traveled through him. Alex seemed to get the hint and started moving his hand while watching Michael’s reaction. Michael nodded and took a couple deep breaths. It wasn’t enough to get him off, but Alex’s slow, steady strokes kept him from dissolving back into mindless need and pain. “…so, as I was saying… If I think about Max being here, I don’t feel horny. I feel like getting into a fucking fight, because he is not the boss of me no matter what he thinks. Ugh. Sanctimonious jackass. And if I think of Isabel I just feel… protective? Like, I definitely don’t want to see her naked or to touch her sexually. She’s my sister. I just want to keep her safe. Maria? Eh… it’s more indecisive. Valenti? Fuck that dude, I will fight him also. I’d probably fight Rosa also. I feel like this stuff just like… takes the noise out of my feelings for people. It’s like… whatever my gut instinct is? I don’t know, I just… I wouldn’t hurt you. I would never hurt you like this.”

Alex looked like he was thinking over what Michael had said, his eyes fixed on some point across the room as he sorted out what Michael had been saying. He didn’t slacken his grip or stop moving his hand, which Michael was profoundly grateful for since it was seeming to take some of the edge off. He didn’t know how much longer it would work, but for now it was working.

“Max had said, you seemed to be attacking him after the powder hit. You wouldn’t stop trying to hit him, and you kept pushing Isabel away like you thought Max was the enemy…” he mused, looking up towards Michael’s eyes again. “Lot of unresolved hostility with Max?”

Michael bit his lip before answering.

“Probably more than I’m comfortable admitting to myself right now,” he answered, suddenly wishing they were talking about anything else but his issues with Max. Maybe Alex picked up on it because he just hummed in understand before he leaned over, and with a casualness that Michael didn’t know one could have in such a situation, took Michael back into his mouth with probably the dirtiest slurp he’d ever witnessed outside of porn. Stars collided behind Michael’s eyes at the unexpected sensation and he let out a strangled moan at the sudden hot-wet-tight pressure surrounding his cock.

“Al-lex! Shit,” he gasped out when he could. Alex kept his mouth and tongue moving over him, hand following and keying Michael’s voice into the higher notes. Alex was right, of course; he was feeling better. His head was starting to feel clearer and he with a gentle push he found that he could unlatch one of his ankles. He had to take a breather afterwards, had to lay back and simply enjoy the feeling of Alex’s mouth on him, but then he gathered his strength and unlatched the other ankle. He tried to keep his legs still, tried not to let on to Alex that he was able to use his powers much more than he had on him earlier. He wanted his fucking hands. He wanted to hold Alex down and remind him how good he was at blow jobs… and eating ass… and pretty much every sexual thing he could possibly do to the man with his willing participation.

Michael got momentarily distracted from his goal with Alex maneuvered back to hovering over him so he could deep throat Michael’s cock. The sensation was beyond explanation to him and he was sure it was about to be over for him until Alex, like an absolute asshole, squeezed him with a thumb over his frenulum seconds before he was going to finish and stopped his fucking orgasm.

“You motherfucker…” Michael coughed out before leaning his head back and groaning in frustration. He looked back and saw Alex grinning back up at him, looking smug and completely unrepentant.

“You didn’t seem ready,” was all he said before releasing him. Michael rolled his eyes. Alex started to climb off him then and Michael watched him in horror.

“Where are you going?” he asked, nervous about the tingling that had already started back in his nerve endings as soon as Alex wasn’t touching him.

“Nowhere. Chill, I think I’ve got a handle on this. I’m getting some lube,” Alex explained, reaching over towards the nightstand. His hand bypassed the lube, however, and he grabbed a bottle of Gatorade, uncapping it and taking three long swallows before offering it to Michael. It was weird trying to drink while laying down without hands or the ability to roll to his side, but they managed it without too much of it rolling down his cheek into his hair. Alex recapped the Gatorade and grabbed the lube bottle.

“What’s your plan?” Michael asked, eying the bottle of lube in both apprehension and anticipation. It was, after all, a lot of lube. Alex smiled at him softly and leant over, pressing a kiss against his lips before answering.

“Obviously, I’m going to fuck you. And then I figure you’re going to fuck me. And if we do it well enough, I’m pretty sure this is going to wear off and we can have a fucking nap together. Then you can panic and formulate a proper response as to why the fuck you left the Pony during my obvious public declaration of love. Especially since apparently after a hit with some weird alien emotional baggage eraser, you admit to me that I’m the only person you want to ‘claim’,” Alex finished, squirting lube into his hand and giving Michael a look.

“Shit,” Michael mumbled, overwhelmed by Alex’s little speech and his observation.

“Shh… you’ve got at least two more orgasms to go and a nap before you have to tell me you’re not going to pull anything like that ever again on me.”

Michael swallowed and nodded mutely. Alex watched him and smiled, before giving him another quick kiss and scooting down the bed. Michael felt pretty sure this was the best thing to ever happen to him.

#malex fic #malex #kinktober 2020 #kinktober #rnm fic #roswell nm #michael guerin #alex manes

33 notes · View notes

thevoilinauttheory · 4 years ago

Note

Okay but for the "Romance and friendship ship asks" - petition for you to just answer all of them, LiveJournal interview meme style, lol. (I'll do it too if you will!)

(( Okay, but first I gotta start with... I still don’t know wtf LiveJournal is. I, uh. I’m not an internet-savvy person, unfortunately (I’m *still* trying to figure out what xkit is and why it’s so important to tumblr, so I usually just smile and nod when it’s brought up lol). I can’t even figure out how to work twitter or facebook. The fact that I learned how to tumblr is a miracle.

And next: A lot of these questions are really heavily dependent on the situation I’m in, unfortunately! So some may not have very clear answers. I’m going to put this ENTIRE thing under the cut - for several reasons. One, it’s long. And two, there’s some sensitive material that’s either triggering [allusions to sexual assault and manipulative behavior ], or NSFW.

A huge thanks to @renofmanyalts, @spotofmummery, @lukawarrioroflight, and @cadrenebula for the asks on this meme! ))

So without further ado - here’s all of the answers to the questions for the “Romance and Friendship Ship Asks”!

1. When you RP a ship do you prefer to make everything be smooth sailing all the time or do you allow conflicts to arise?

I don’t mind either way, so long as my RP partner… y’know, talks with me. I’m reminded of an instance in the past where my RP partner wanted conflict, but took it to a whole other extreme to the point where it physically hurt to RP through. One of my characters, in a serious relationship with theirs; ended up kidnapped, drugged, and assaulted - resulting in the assailant getting pregnant. Now, when my character comes to - only semi-aware of what happened to them; absolutely distraught and hurting once they learned the truth; my partner’s character comes in and berates them for cheating, being unfaithful, not trying hard enough - essentially victim blaming. If I had been warned of this, I would not have agreed to playing this situation out. With adequate warning, however, I’m usually fairly open to anything. So, yes. It really does depend. I would prefer smooth sailing, and with warning, am very okay with conflict in a ship.

2. Do you like to RP smut when you RP a ship?

This one’s doozy lol. The base answer is, I do! I find the smut scenes to be very big character building situations - giving more detailed information on what a character is like in an intimate situation; what quirks they have, and whatnot. Sometimes it’s story building too - and I’m all about that story and character building. BUT. I will not. My IRL spouse is not comfortable with me doing so, and I respect that. So I will not ERP as long as they remain uncomfortable with it.

3. Do you like to plan a ship out or just let it happen?

Usually, all of the ships I have just… happen. Nothing’s quite planned except “what character would interact well with this one” - not with the explicit purpose of shipping (romantically), but more of seeing what kind of interactions can blossom. However, I’m not opposed to planning, if that’s what’s more comfortable with my RP partner.

4. Do you prefer monogamous or poly ships?

I, personally, have no preference. So long as the poly relationship is played out properly (i.e. the people who use being poly as an excuse to cheat/be unfaithful to their partner(s)). I don’t excuse people giving us poly folks a bad name. So I have no preference… but my characters do! Each preference is listed in their profile, whether or not they are monogamous or polyamorous / what their sexual and romantic orientations are. (tbh tho, all of them are negotiable)

5. Are there any characters that you want a ship for?

Ha ha. Yes. Quite a few, actually. (If not all of them, for shipping in a general sense.)

6. Do you like friend-with-benefits ships?

With warning ahead of time, yes. Whether IC or OOC - OOC is preferable, because some of my characters’ personalities make them very easily attached to others. The best example is Danny, with what some of the more recent ask answers show. And I want to make sure that the character is good for the situation. Though I do have a couple characters that would prefer to keep it at the “friends-with-benefits” stage, and if that’s a character or plot I want to play, I would ask my RP partner about it first.

7. Have you ever regretted a ship, romantic or otherwise?

Mmm… I want to say yes. I really do. Even the ones that screwed me over, though, part of me can’t help but cherish them in some strange way. Each one of them has been an experience for me and my character. But. I think… there is one yes in there. ...Maybe a couple, but all of those ships were with the same RP partner. At the time, though, those ships were my lifeblood - upon reflection… they were all pretty yikes. And I’ve got another friend as my witness lol.

8. Do you like to be friends with the people you have ships with?

I have to be friends with the people I ship with. I can do walk up RP with strangers, get to events and all that - but if someone is wanting a romantic ship with me, I need to know them as a person, not as their character. And I need them to know me as a person, too; that I’m not my character(s). Honestly, I prefer to be friends with all of my RP partners anyways! Ship or no! I like learning about people as they are, not just as their character(s) are.

9. What do you look for in a writing partner for ships?

Just… I guess, a decent person? That’s very vague, and that’s because it’s true. I want someone that understands that life gets in the way a lot, and that I might have to pause a thread or two until I can get myself situated. RP does not come before real life, and I want my partners to understand that as much as I do. I will drop threads with people who show toxic behaviors - not without talking to them first, of course, but if it blows up, then I’m done. I can’t put myself in a situation like that again.

10. Do you think romantic ships should be long-term?

Mm. This is another tough one. Which I think coincides a lot with the next question as well. If my partner wants a romantic ship to end, then as long as they talk about it with me, I’m totally fine with it - a day, two, a month, years? I don’t mind as long as I have warning, and things are talked through first. I’ll cover the rest of my thoughts on this in the next question.

11. How do you handle an absent RP partner that you have a ship with?

First, I’d be incredibly worried! I do have some friendships that disappear for a few months, then come back, and I don’t mind those at all. But if I make a new friend, and I don’t know if they’re prone to that, then I’d be worried about their safety! I’ll reach out first, as many times as I need to. I want to make sure that my friend is safe and in a good place. If they respond with “I’m alive, just stuff going on”, the ship won’t be dropped. I won’t drop ships due to absence, not right away - unless otherwise told to by my RP partner (maybe because they know they won’t be around, or they’re quitting the game, etc). If my RP partner is absent for a minimum of three to six months or longer *without* any sort of contact, I will tell them that there will be a pause on our ship and there’s a possibility of the character finding another… but also that if their life allows it, and they’re keen on it, I will pick up the ship again in the future. tl;dr: I want to make sure that my RP partner is in a safe place before I make any comments to dropping a ship.

12. How often do you think people should RP when they have ships together?

As often as it is comfortable for everyone involved. Whether that’s everyday, once a week, or twice a month. I, personally, have no issues with time. If RP isn’t being done, then I’m memeing or asking questions or putting terrible ideas into my RP partners’ heads.

13. Do you RP out all interactions or do you assume some things happen ‘off-screen’ with your ships?

Assumption, always. Even if we don’t play out those interactions, we’ll talk about them. “So it’s likely that [x] has happened during [x] time since [RP session]”. RPing out all interactions would take up a lot of time, and lead to a lot of disappointment - especially if you equate “one day irl = one day in RP”.

14. Is there anyone you know that you want to have an RP ship with (romantic, friendship, hateship, rival, ect.)?

My only answer to this is: yes, absolutely. My only clarification is: all of my wonderful followers - you all have such amazing characters, how could I not want a ship (in the general sense)?

15. What’s the most important thing you’ve learned when it comes to RPing ships?

The most important thing I’ve learned… happens to be two things. 1) Communication is your greatest tool. Not communicating with your RP partner about anything will cause everyone grief. If something makes you uncomfortable, if there’s a thread you want to try, if there’s a thread you want to drop - you need, need, NEED to talk to your RP partner. and 2) Your RP partner is a person, just like you. You cannot expect them to shit out a thread on command; nor can you expect them to write when there’s stress going on in their life. Your RP partner is your friend, and you should treat them as such. If the going is tough, make sure they know that they aren’t pressured into writing, and that you’re there for support. If there’s stress in your life, it’s on you to warn your partner - and trust that they treat you like a person too.

#a response for you: ooc #pls #if you are wanting a ship #pls talk to me

9 notes · View notes

honhonluigi · 4 years ago

Note

I'm curious. You've said you dislike religion (which is valid as fuck and I have the same opinion), but if that's the case then why is Angie one of your favorite characters?

(I don't mean anything offensive or anything by this, by the way! If it makes you uncomfortable feel free to delete it.)

No, no, man, I totally get it. I’m sure it looks confusing from the outside. I can explain myself no problem.

I guess it’s probably important to give a little explanation of why I hate religion so much, because it’ll make more sense then. I don’t hate religion because I’m an atheist. I am an atheist because of evidence and facts. Because I want to draw my conclusions based on fact and evidence. If I saw what I thought was undeniable proof of any god’s existence, I’d change my mind. Nah, I hate religion because I was raised in a cult. Not like a “my parents were heavily evangelical/strict” way. My parents were actual official members in an actual cult, listed as a cult by government officials (though they’re considering removing it from the list which would be a supremely bad idea.) You look up all the fucked up things that cults do? Those lists of “How To Tell If You’re In A Cult?” You’re describing this religion to a tee. It gets an A+ in every aspect of cultism. It wasn’t a cape-and-fire-chanting-in-the-woods cult. Those aren’t real. This was a Christian-based cult. (Most real-life cults are. Aside from like...Scientology maybe?) But they weren’t just Christians who took it seriously, like I said. It was a separate cult religion and the entire religion is officially cited as a cult. It was just Christianity-based. See if you can guess what it is. Based on the clues I gave I’d say there’s like...two choices.

Anyway, that’s why I hate religion. Because I’ve seen and suffered first-hand all the damage that religion can cause innocent people. Not just in religious wars and acts of prejudice, but just in individual thought and life control aspects and so much fucking trauma. In torment and guilt and wasted years. In passed opportunities and ended relationships and sexual repression. Religion sucks. (In my opinion, all religions are fundamentally cults at their core. Or they would be, if the worshippers actually adhered strictly to the rules that they made. Which they usually don’t, hence why most mainstream religions aren’t thought of as cults.) I hate religion for the core principles of ‘sinning’, hell/heaven/paradise, good vs evil, thought-crime, religion-over-family, faith, not thinking for yourself, and believing whatever you’re told. That’s so damaging. But I don’t hate religion just because “lol it’s so stupid, I can’t believe people believe that shit!” or “religion is just too mainstream for me!” I can see why people would believe that in the old days, when things couldn’t be explained by science. I hate all religions, even the non-mainstream ones like wicca and shit. And I actually think studying ancient religions is really interesting. It’s an aspect of culture, and I can respect that.

What does this have to do with my opinion of Angie? A lot, actually. I didn’t just go off on a religion rant for no reason.

So, for starter’s, I don’t hate religion because I think it’s “too stupid to be believable” or that being religious is “too mainstream”, like I said. I don’t look down on religious people for being stupid, gullible, or trend-followers (more on that later.) That means that I can still respect Angie as a person, even if she’s religious. That’s important to know going forward.

But the main reason is, I hate religion, not religious people. I hate the institution of religion, any religion. I hate the ideas that it carries and the practices it puts into play. But Angie is not any of those things. She’s just a person. She’s not responsible for any of the things that any religion, including hers, will do. She just believes in it. She, as a person, is not the thing that is doing all the damage I hate so much. Maybe her religion is, but she as an individual is not.

Religious people are victims. I know. I was there. 10 years ago, I was an indoctrinated, god-obsessed homophobe, shivering in anticipation of a doomsday when god slaughtered billions of sinners. I won’t say I was different, and I always knew something was wrong about religion. No, I believed like everyone else. I was indoctrinated as much anybody. Religious people can’t help what they believe. They are the victims of peer pressure, cultural expectations, propaganda, lack of information/education, deliberate thought control, family pressures, and many other factors. Trust me when I say: they really can’t control what they believe. That’s why it’s pointless to argue with them. Their beliefs don’t come from logic. They are all victims. And I see everyone in my former cult as a victim, not an enemy. They really can’t help it. I can’t express that enough.

So it’s not Angie’s fault that she’s so deeply ingrained in a religion. It’s not a character flaw for her, and it doesn’t make her evil or bad. In fact, it makes me like her more. I feel sorry for her. I sympathize with her. I was exactly where she was when I was 13. I know to everyone else, Angie’s religion is just a caricature or a joke. But to me, it makes her character deeper, more interesting, and sadder.

Also, Angie’s not a cultist. Oh, this one makes me so mad. Everyone who says “Angie is in a cult!” or “Angie became a cult leader!” has absolutely no idea what an actual cult is like. The DR writers don’t know. The fans don’t know. It’s nothing like what Angie does. She never becomes a cult leader. Trust me. I would fucking know.

When she becomes Student Council President or w/e, the Student Council has nothing to do with her religion. She’s doing that because she believes she knows what’s best to stop people from killing each other. She’s not doing it because “my religion is right and you all need to convert!” Otherwise, she’d have done that at the start. The rules she makes, like the night time curfew, have nothing to do with religion. (Also, her rules about flashback lights and night time curfews were completely correct and were good ideas, but go off I guess.) Yeah, she might say “Atua told me to do this!” But all hyper-religious people credit their creativity, ideas, or achievements to god. Whether or not those had anything to do with religion. She’s doing it because she has ideas that she thinks can help, not because she wants to push her religion.

Case in point: in order to join her Student Council, you don’t have to believe in Atua. You don’t have to convert. K1-B0 and Himiko make that choice, but Tsumugi and Tenko don’t. And Angie doesn’t care. You’re allowed to be one of their group without sharing Angie’s religion. And once Angie’s Student Council is in power, then what? Fucking nothing. She doesn’t force anyone else to convert to her religion either. Even the people who didn’t join the student council. They’re allowed to not believe. She never approaches them being like “you have to join my religion now that I’m in power.” And she still treats Shuichi and Kaito as politely and friendly as always. (Not Maki and Kokichi, but for obvious reasons. She was right not to trust Maki, after what they learned about her.) Angie not once ever uses her power to push or pressure or threaten or force anyone to worship Atua with her. It doesn’t happen. She’s not a cult leader. If she was, it wouldn’t be optional. There would be grotesque amounts of threats, social isolation, pressure, etc even to those in her own student council if they didn’t believe. I won’t go into detail here, but trust me, it would be so fucking different if her little group actually followed the criteria for being a cult. Even when Tenko goes behind Angie’s back and escorts Shuichi into the school after dark, Angie doesn’t threaten her or oust her. She forgives her. She doesn’t say “no one is ever allowed to talk to you again” or “you have to do a horrible punishment” or “you have to die”. She just...forgives her. Yeah, she insults her a little, but she has a right to be angry after being lied to, betrayed, and used by Tenko. Still, she forgives her. Also: Tenko being in the school after dark and Angie being upset at that has nothing to do with Angie’s religion at all. The rule of not being out after dark doesn’t either.

Also, her actions before her rise to power weren’t culty either. Angie never pushed her religion on anyone. I hate people like that. People who want to force others to believe the way they do. They’re the fucking worst and the scum of the earth. Some of the worst, most evil people alive, in my opinion. Angie’s not like that. She only talked to people about her religion if they asked her. As she explained to Tenko “I wasn’t brainwashing anyone. I was just answering questions.” Himiko, Gonta, and K1-B0 asked her questions because they were curious about her religion. She answered them. When they showed interest, she kept talking to them about it. They were the ones who said they wanted to convert. She never even asked them. And then when they wanted to, she welcomed them with open arms. They approached her. All she did was speak openly and honestly with them. She never forced anyone to convert to her religion. She never even forced anyone to listen to her talk about her religion. When Kaede and Shuichi got uncomfortable about it and changed the subject, she let it fucking go. She stopped talking about it. She never made the first move when talking to someone about Atua. They always approached her first. That’s definitely not culty. That’s just a religious person being honest when they’re asked questions, or getting excited when someone shows genuine interest in their beliefs. Of course she would be excited. These are her friends, and she truly believes that her religion is correct. She would be happy to see them safely in it. In her eyes, it’s the only place where they’re safe. Also, if she was truly a bad religious person, she would think that everyone who didn’t convert to her religion deserved to die. Mark of cults. But she doesn’t. She loves all her classmates, tries to keep them safe, and prays for them when they do die. Also, she believes that they get into Atua’s kingdom simply for being good people, even when they don’t believe in him. That’s definitely not culty. A cult is like “everyone who doesn’t worship like you is always evil, and they always deserve to die, and if they don’t convert then they are not worth saving. If you don’t believe in our religion you will definitely be killed at judgement day no matter what.”

But, most importantly: Angie’s religion is not the only aspect of her character. Angie’s religion actually has nothing to do with my opinion of her. I like her because she’s cute, bright, hopeful, happy, and persistent. She’s kind and selfless and she tries her best to keep everyone happy. She’s confident in herself, even if other people ridicule her. She’s got an interesting twisted side to her, with her composure in the face of death and her desire for blood sacrifices. But that doesn’t stop her from being kind and friendly to everyone. And she’s surprisingly smart, in her own ways. And appropriately ruthless when going after her goals, which is always something I admire. (I loved that she was willing to turn on Himiko when it seemed obvious that Himiko was the culprit, instead of obnoxiously ignoring facts like Tenko. Um, hello? If Himiko is the culprit, you all die? And if she’s the culprit, she’s trying to kill everyone, which kind of gives Angie the right to revoke her friendship from Himiko, yeah?) Angie’s character goes so much deeper than her religion. As far as her religion influencing my opinion of her, it...doesn’t. I pretty much just ignore it. I love her for who she is, not what she believes.

4 notes · View notes

enduringsea · 4 years ago

Text

( rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping! ) / tagged by @yellowcrumpet ╭( ･ㅂ･)و )))

Thanks for the tag! I LOVE these things-- I don’t rlly have a playlist either though, just a mess of music files on a device I haven’t updated so I’ll be checking my YouTube history too lol. There’s a uhhh.... pattern to be found, mainly relating to Code Vein or other OCs.... which isn’t surprising ._. ;; I made it a separate post bc I knew this was going to get long and rambly with lyric snippets and crying about fictional characters, sorry :D

1. Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor don’t go / you’re half of me now / but i’m hardly stood proud / i said it, almost oh i’ve been low / but damn it i bet it don’t show / it was heaven a moment ago oh i can’t seem to let myself leave you / but i can’t breathe anymore This one gives me Loubeth vibes ok, partially bad end route ;-; While Elizabeth is a very strong person, her friends are the most prominent reason she tries to do anything at all & isn’t living day-to-day in a monotonous grind to survive without a solid purpose other than ‘help random ppl bc it’s the right thing to do’. If she loses them, it’d ruin her & hammers into her head how everything she’s ever done has been a failure. She suffered a major betrayal by her boss before the Collapse, she was unable to fully participate in proj. queen despite her incredible test results, she failed to defeat Cruz and take her blood during Operation Queenslayer, and if she fails to protect the people she’s finally found meaning with? She’d break down completely & destroy herself to save them. She’s always had some level of abandonment issues, and without her family around it’s so much worse, even if it isn’t the most obvious because she’s generally seen as very well put together-- I really can’t express how much it would hurt her to lose Louis, Yakumo, and the others. She’s just not one to show just how bad it can truly get for her mentally and emotionally-- she’s resilient as hell, she’s been through hell repeatedly and survived it all, so it’s easy for others to assume she’s fine all things considered. It makes her feel weak and ashamed of herself if she shows any level of vulnerability, so she doesn’t; she swallows it down and is afraid of disappointing those who look up to her as a fighter and friend-- of course, no one at Home Base would blame her for being vulnerable, they all have their moments, Bethy just sets herself to such a high standard it’s difficult for her to talk about her own suffering in spite of how well-versed she is in getting her thoughts and feelings across otherwise. Louis is the one most keen to how deeply she’s hurting, but he doesn’t understand just how deeply until she finally does fall apart. The final swell of the song and its desperate lyrics really relays the pain they both feel-- Louis too would not fare well if something happened to Elizabeth, because he blames himself she was even involved in Operation Queenslayer for a long time, I honestly did so bad in explaining coherently, this song just has so much emotion and hurt behind it adklfjdfdff </3

2. Looking Out For You - Joy Again this is a love song for a girl who will never know it’s about her she's beaming that smile / all the while i’m all tripped up on my own throat i guess there is no hope This song reminds me of Elizabeth & my friend’s character Takashi Fujioka, who gets-- vERY...FRIENDZONED, for lack of a better word, by Elizabeth in his story, it’s really summed up best as tragic (;﹏;) Before the Collapse they were hitting it off, then the Collapse happened, they were separated, he lost his sisters, Mido happened, he was experimented on + became a revenant, etc, etc; years have passed since then & she’s gotten her life together as much as one can in a world like Vein, but for Takashi it’s like no time has passed at all. Elizabeth is subtly older in appearance, she’s been working w Lou & Co. for a long time; Loubeth blatantly have a connection, & rather than bringing up his feelings + making it awkward bc he values their friendships, he just kinda. chokes on them & does his best to help out the team. It doesn’t help he can’t even be jealous bc Louis is a really solid friend to him too, IT’S JUST A MESS OF A SITUATION & the death of what could have been if things were different.

3. Closer - Teagan And Sara ( no lengthy explanation for this one thank goodness, I’ve just been watching BoJack Horseman again and I really like some of the songs they add in, I like listening to this one on loop when mindlessly coloring something )

4. Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo all I did was try my best / this the kind of thanks I get? they say these are the golden years / but I wish I could disappear ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here I have it on a playlist for Elizabeth somewhere, not all of it applies to her but it reflects some of her struggles she has both before & after the collapse. She’s-- always kind of been a mess while under immense pressure + has serious self image issues, this song hits that side of her well. She’s been held to humanly impossible standards by both herself and her family bc frankly? She can reach them, she’s NOT exactly human. She was born into her position as a hunter & intends to keep it for as long as she lives (like revenants, her kind is very much ‘either gets killed or lives 5ever), even if some days she really feels how heavy the burden can be. She didn’t have a normal childhood and she’s fine with it for the most part, but it alienates her from most of her peers-- she never got to date anyone, never had a close group of friends, never went to parties that weren’t formals, etc., while she feels a little childish about it, she does envy ‘normal’ and understands the pressure she’s lived under her entire life has caused damage-- she has been exploited for her abilities, there’s just not much she can do about it but to keep going, rlly.

5. Freaks - Surf Curse don't kill me / just help me run away from everyone i need a place to stay / where i can cover up my face don't cry / i am just a freak / i am just a freak UhhhHHH this song really makes me think of Oliver Collins :D;; thank TikTok for showing it to me. It makes me think of how scared he was, of both the world and the revenants who captured him. The song’s use of the word ‘parasites’ really makes me think of Revenants and the BOR parasites XD I’m hoping when I poke my video editor again, I can record some Oliver footage to make a short video to this song. Oliver deserves so much better, I wish you could save him, but that’s what AUs are for, hahah.... The second half of the lyrics make me think of the AU I have where he lives and has to grapple with the guilt of surviving and the things he did to other revenants to get by too.

6. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham you say the ocean’s rising / like i give a shit you say the whole world’s ending / honey it already did you’re not gonna slow it / heaven knows you tried got it? good / now get inside I haven’t seen the Netflix special yet but I’ve had this song on repeat since my move started. The lyrics hit too hard & resonate with my existential dread, covid exhaustion, and extreme burnout in my 20s, but bc I have Damage I can also relate it to CV ._. ‘you’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside’ makes me think of--;; the bad end route again, and Elizabeth’s desperation to keep her found family together. It’s not like her to completely stop caring about an issue, but in the moment she realizes what’s being taken from her? She doesn’t want to save all of revenant-kind if it means she’s going to wind up alone all over again, her world is effectively over if she’s forced to be alone again. The MC frenzying means the only immediately identifiable hope she had of saving everyone else is gone, so why not just go home? If they’re all doomed, she wants to at least be together for a little while longer, it’s fine if they use her blood to survive & everyone else in the mist is out of luck, it’s soul-crushing bc I’ve never had her in a situation where she’s been this reckless, despondent/hopeless, and thinking irrationally where it’d impact more than herself-- especially when she’s normally goal-oriented, organized, meticulous, so on so forth: she’s not one to act without thinking something through first, but that last breath of light just got sucker-punched out of her. All she wants is home, comfort, and family, and ultimately in the bad end route she does manage to preserve their lives, maintain the mist, and supply blood beads, but her own condition leaves her on the throne-- it’s a mix of the bad, neutral, and true ending rlly ldkfjdf BUT YEAH enough rambling on that :D;; This song’s really good and touches a lot of different thoughts and ideas both in real life and my ocs, kind of embarrassing--;; thank u bo burnham for ruining me with this beautiful song

7. Yellow - Coldplay look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do your skin / oh yeah, your skin and bones / turn in to something beautiful do you know / for you I'd bleed myself dry Does this song make me think about JackEva? Yes. Yes it does. Star / night sky symbolism? Bam. Sappy lyrics about love and finding the person you’re with absolutely mesmerizing and worth dying for? BAM. If JackEva were capable of using their own blood to save each other, I can see it-- hJNGn they just care about each other so much, Jack cries for her even though they both knew that eventually one of them would succumb to their duty, and if the roles were reversed I can see Eva doing the same, I adore them beyond human language. On my CV RP blog, my Jack’s not shippable bc-- Eva, my friend even have them looking after his nephew (an oc--) at one point. I should seriously drop some headcanons down eventually....

8. Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada are we meant to be empty-handed? / i know i could, i could be better i don't think i deserve it / selflessness, find your way into my heart all stars could be brighter / all hearts could be warmer

LMFAO throwback to my middle school playlist, I’m old-- I’ve applied this song to a lot of things back in the day, but I really connect it to Loubeth now, especially Louis. Lou & Bethy are both functional idiots who are too hard on themselves & have trouble recognizing their worth beyond what they can do for others. They’re trying to be better-- to make up for what they perceived wrongs they’ve done, but it’s hard, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the love and support the other gives, but they still yearn for that sense of security. After Louis’ memories are returned, he finally understands the guilt he’s felt since he became a revenant and it really skews his self-perception; he blames himself for so many things & Elizabeth, who has always been able to kill when necessary, sets it straight-- “It’s not your fault”, and it takes Louis some time to properly absorb that message. He thinks she’s just trying to comfort him, which she is tbh, but she’s not wrong: “It’s not your fault you couldn’t kill someone. It was never your job to kill anyone.” It’s up to people like her to do those sort of things-- Elizabeth may not have been present when Cruz frenzied, but if she had been? It would have been over before it started, that’s something she has regrets over, even if nothing could have been done since she was already on the field. Actually, she’s actually really quite angry that security failed to monitor Cruz properly and has a few select words for the ones there who could have actually done something before it got out of hand-- civilians and doctors are exempt from her shtlist bc they’re not meant to be killers (so don’t worry Artorias, she’s not ready to bite your head off!), but they had to have some kinda security detail rite o-q??? They’re probably hiding from her wrath-- BUT ANYWAY, she insists she’ll never blame Louis for not being able to do something as serious as killing another person. He was a normal human being who cared about his friend, not a failure, and he couldn’t have been expected to do something that shouldn’t have fallen on his shoulders in the first place. As many times as it takes, she’ll reaffirm that it wasn’t his fault, she’s not angry, he’s always done his best and her opinion of him hasn’t changed. He’s a good person and she loves him through all the hurt, though she doesn’t drop the word ‘love’ for a long time. It just-- takes Louis a while to accept she views him as someone worthy of the love and respect she has for him. It’s kind of ironic she’s so adamant on Louis not blaming himself considering she’s the one privately blaming herself for-- wow there’s too much to unpack, she feels guilty she was even born?? im so broken over these two. I love them and yet they SUFFER...

9. What I’ve Done - Linkin Park i'll face myself / to cross out what i’ve become erase myself / and let go of what i’ve done today this ends / i'm forgiving what i’ve done

I have Louis Amamiya brainrot and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that this song fits him super well & it needs to become an AMV dsjfkldsfd. I’m a near life-long Linkin Park fan and this fits with Lou so well thematically. As much as I’ve gone on about Louis’ guilt, he does steel himself to keep going forward in spite of it and make things right, for everyone. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault, but at the end of the day his inability to kill Cruz in that moment left a disaster in its wake that got a countless number of people killed-- the MC included with Karen and Aurora. He doesn’t want to run away from the truth, doesn’t want to make excuses, he wants to take responsibility for it and he’ll work himself to death if it means things will be better-- it’s both admirable he’s got a strong resolve and VERY concerning with how willing he is to die for the cause, please don’t overdo it, Lou, you’ll break mine and Bethy’s hearts ._.;; It won’t always be easy, there are moments the grief gnaws at him, but in the end he does overcome it (and uh. as in the bad ending, we know he can actually do it this time). I know we can’t see everything, but I would have loved deeper character interactions, especially with Louis with an emphasis on grieving + forgiving himself properly-- but this song really is nice with the whole ‘I’m going to face my mistakes head on, forgive myself, and keep moving forward’. It’s what Louis deserves: self forgiveness and a damn break ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

10. Call of Silence - Hiroyuki Sawano you will know you're reborn tonight / must be rough but i’ll stay by your side even if my body's bleached to the bones / i don't want go through that ever again so cry no more / oh my beloved ngl idk if those are the correct lyrics, buuuuuuut....... im a weenie and am internally weeping abt loubeth after midnight, what else is new lmfao- i’ll at least try to be brief :D I also used to really like Attack on Titan when I was in high school, I dropped the anime years ago because I was waiting for s2 and never got back to it once it started airing again, I thought I’d finish it once the anime was complete since I eventually caught up with the manga, such a good series BUT ANYWAY-- I think it’s a really pretty song and Loubeth fit with the tender lyrics. IT’S LATE, idk what to say about them other than what I’ve said already dsklfjdslf im sorry I really ramble a LOT and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the chance to >w>;;

#i do not know how 2 b quiet #long post #personal text #yellowcrumpet

1 note · View note

mxliv-oftheendless · 5 years ago

Text

Nice Try (Dark KISSteria)

Well well well, look what’s back! It’s another Dark KISSteria story! I was thinking yesterday about Dark!StarDahlia’s weird friendship that they have in this AU, as @cosmicrealmofkissteria will know because we keep talking about it lol. And long story short, this little baby was born! I finished writing it earlier today, so I hope you enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Starchild was fuming. Damn the Council. Damn his mother though damn her less than the Council. The Council, who always told him he should take a “fine KISSterian woman” as his Queen so he could successfully take the throne after the Elder without much fuss.

And he would have agreed… except for the fact that he absolutely could not stand all of their choices. They blushed too much, giggled too much, hell sometimes spoke too much. It did give him some joy to turn them down, and see their faces crumble when they realized they wouldn’t be marrying the Star Prince. That was what mattered, of course; they would have been marrying the most eligible man in KISSteria, would have been Queen of KISSteria. And to watch them as he destroyed that dream… it was very satisfying indeed.

All of them had been predictable… that is until Black Dahlia.

The Council had suggested her as his next potential wife, as it would strengthen the alliance between the throne and the Sisterhood of the Natural Order. She was a plain looking woman, once you disregarded the purple of her hair. It was a darker purple, like wine. Black and purple was what it was. She wore black robes, and had small dark purple flowers running down the side of her face. It was striking.

But her face being striking didn’t make Starchild any more intrigued by her. It was her manner towards him. She was silent, almost defiantly so, and when she spoke it was intelligently. He had heard rumors about her, of course, of her experiments with death, how death had followed her like a second shadow all her life. A potential Necromancer within the Sisterhood had clearly made the Council incredibly nervous.

And while he was amused by anything that unnerved the Council… he still despised the fact that he would have to marry this woman. And they would be expected to consummate the marriage at some point. Disgusting…

Just thinking about it as he headed down the hallway towards his bedroom made him want to hit something. At least it was nighttime. He didn’t have to converse with anyone, especially not—

“Excuse me, Prince Starchild,”

Gods damn it all.

He looked over his shoulder to see Black Dahlia herself standing behind him. He put on an impassive look. “Good evening, Black Dahlia. Is there anything you need?” Like manners?

“Yes. I was hoping you could remind me of the way to the guest wing. I seem to have lost my way.”

Ugh of course she did. And hoping? What was he, a map? Nonetheless, it would be rude to not respond. “Go back the way you came, and when you come to the staircase turn right. The guest wing will be that way.”

“Thank you. Forgive me, I wouldn’t have asked otherwise, but my mind has been… out of sorts lately.”

“Really?” I could care less.

“Yes. Perhaps it is because I am living here now. The mind is powerful, but it can also be delicate. And with such immense change in my life… one could go mad with the pressure.” Black Dahlia gave him a slight smile and curtsied. “But I suppose you don’t care for what I say at the moment. Thank you for the directions. Have a good night.”

Starchild gave her a nod, and as she disappeared down the corner a slow smile crept onto his face. Her words had given him an idea…

-KISSTERIA-

Starchild lay down in his bed and closed his eyes. He felt a shifting sensation in his body, and when he opened his eyes he was floating above his body on the bed. He flew out of his bedroom, through his door and down the hallway. Lights blew out as he flew past, causing the confusion of a few servants, but he paid them no mind as he headed for the guest wing of the castle.

Finally he came to the room he knew Black Dahlia was staying in, and flew inside. He saw her form on her bed, lying on her back with her hands folded, and looking like a corpse in a coffin. He couldn’t help but snort a bit; what a fitting pose, considering her reputation.

Now, to enter her mind…

“Black Dahlia…” he whispered, making his voice as sensual as possible. Black Dahlia’s head turned to the side, but other than that she gave no response. He lowered himself down and placed his hands on her waist. “Black Dahlia… won’t you open your pretty eyes for me?”

“Mmph…”

“Come now, I know you want to. Why resist?” Starchild let his lips fall just above the skin of her neck, and when he spoke his lips barely grazed the skin. “You really are such a beautiful woman… Won’t you open your eyes for me?”

Black Dahlia sighed quietly, and her eyes slowly opened. There; that was his opening. “Why don’t you take me into your mind… I want to see what happens in your pretty head.”

“Yes…” Black Dahlia breathed out. Starchild kept moving his hands up her waist, while projecting his mind into hers.

It was dark, though it was lit up by candles. There were shelves and shelves of ancient tomes, and skulls all around. He couldn’t help an intrigued hum as he kept seducing Black Dahlia. “Just what happens in this lovely mind of yours?” He almost didn’t want to damage this mind. It was fascinating… But of course there was still that “almost”.

Black Dahlia sighed as he pressed his lips to her neck in a slow kiss. “So many things… Not all of them for the faint of heart.”

“A person could go mad, couldn’t they?” Starchild hummed as he slowly kissed down her neck. “If they knew what you could do, or if they knew what happens here.”

“Yes… It’s a pity you’ll never find out.”

Starchild tensed as all the candles suddenly were snuffed out, plunging the room into darkness. Black Dahlia suddenly vanished, leaving him alone in an empty void. He looked around in shock. “What…”

He suddenly felt a presence behind him and turned. There was Black Dahlia, floating behind him, with her arms crossed and a smirk on her face. “Nice try, Prince Starchild. But I think it’s time you went back to bed.”

She shot forward and pushed her hand against Starchild’s forehead. There was a rushing feeling all around him as he was forced out and away… then he woke up back in his own body with a gasp.

He sat up, breathing heavily. Had he just… Had Black Dahlia just forced him out??? While she was being seduced by him, no less???

His hands curled into fists as shock slowly turned into rage.

From her bedroom, Black Dahlia lay fast asleep. Then she suddenly heard an indignant scream come from somewhere, whether it was in the castle or in her mind. A triumphant smile crossed her face; this round went to her.

-KISSTERIA-

The next morning, Starchild went down to breakfast in a dark mood. Black Dahlia… He still couldn’t believe that woman had been able to not just resist him, but throw him out of her mind so easily. He hated it.

“Prince Starchild,”

He swore under his breath and fought the urge to commit murder right then and there. He turned around and put on a coolly polite smile. “Black Dahlia. Good morning. How was your sleep last night?” The last bit was said through clenched teeth.

Black Dahlia seemed very unruffled as she smiled and curtsied. There was something almost mocking about it. “I slept very well. I had a lovely dream. In fact I think you were in it.”

“Unsurprising. I am in many dreams.” He offered his arm to her. “If you spend more time with me I may appear in your dreams again.”

Black Dahlia linked her arm through his. “I look forward to it,”

As they went down the hallway to breakfast, she said in a low voice, “Do you make it a habit of invading peoples’ minds?”

Starchild’s expression darkened somewhat. “Only when they annoy me or show offense, or have something I want.”

“And which category do I fall under?”

Starchild had to keep his hand from tightening around her arm. “You will have to invade my mind to learn that.”

“All right. It should be easy enough, considering how easy it was to force you out of my mind last night.”

Starchild finally stopped dead and turned to give her a fierce glare. “I hate you,” he growled out.

“I’ll get over it,” Black Dahlia shot back. “In the meantime, let’s get breakfast and pretend we are happy to be getting married to each other. And perhaps later on I can teach you how to invade someone’s mind and not be forced out so easily.”

He took a moment to consider her words, and finally ground out, “Fine.” He offered her his arm again.

As they headed down the hallway to breakfast, Starchild couldn’t help what he said next. “Perhaps if you don’t annoy me unnecessarily, I could learn to like you.”

Black Dahlia smiled slightly. “Same here. You can be an insufferable peacock, but I surprisingly find myself enjoying some of your company.”

Starchild nodded. “So we are both in agreement.”

“Yes, we are,”

“Good.” He gave her a sickly sweet smile. “Because if you push me too far I will not hesitate to kill you.”

Black Dahlia returned the sickly sweet smile. “Same here, Prince Starchild.”

#Shandi's KISSteriaverse #Dark KISSteria #stardahlia broship #i love exploring the dark versions of these two #like could you imagine them waltzing at a masquerade ball and casually discussing the best way to murder the host???? because i can #''these are two messed up weirdos who have found each other and it's almost a shockingly beautiful love story.''#quote from mr shane madej that sums them up perfectly lol #how fitting that toxic by britney spears is playing as i write this #but anyway #hope you enjoyed!#kiss au writing #my writing #fanfiction #writeblr #thanks for reading!

7 notes · View notes

savage-rhi · 5 years ago

Note

I know your not a therapist but like... How do you get past losing a best friend? Like you two use to be close and now your nothing to them and your lonely... and it’s hurts allot....

Hoo-boy, this is never an easy subject no matter how old you are.

First, thank you for acknowledging that I am not a therapist. While I am training to be a peer support specialist, it doesn’t mean I qualify as a therapist (I mean with the shit I’ve been through and what I know about the system, I should be without a master considering I have 2 bachelors and associates plus a shit ton of psych credits but I digress) but I’m gonna attempt to help you sort through the painful bullshit that is losing a friend. I may speak from personal experience, so I apologize in advance if this comes across as “me me me..”etc.

The first step should be asking yourself this question: have you communicated properly with your friend to talk about your feelings and see if said person is okay?

More often than not, we grow distant from friends not because we don’t value them, but because life has a way of throwing us into its stresses. It’s perfectly acceptable in my opinion to have a friendship where you’re not constantly talking to each other, but a check-in every now and again is nice. I have dear friends where we haven’t spoken in like years but then get back together when life isn’t kicking our asses the curb. That being said, every friendship is different. Sometimes people have more needs than others and that’s okay, but it’s important that you communicate this in a healthy way with your friend.

I feel like I went off on a tangent here, but yes, please, please, please before you move on and do any other action: TALK TO YOUR FRIEND. Communication is vital in any kind of relationship. Don’t beat around the bush either, get to your point and concerns so you both can work together to figure out what’s causing the rut.

Now, if all is said and done and they tell you to kiss their ass, or pretty much give all the signals and cues that they’re done, this is hard but take these steps and tread lightly. Be kind to yourself when going through this.

My first step would be to not force closure. It’s not healthy for you, and potentially not healthy for your ex-friend should they want distance and you want to try and salvage something.

Second, tailor your social media or whatever else you have them on. Give them a light block or a full-on block. Whatever you do, commit to it. You’ll save yourself the trouble and won’t feel pressured to try and salvage the relationship.

Third, if you have mutual friends this can be tricky but remain civil. Do not divulge in the reason why you and so and so don’t speak anymore. Just say you grew apart or there was some conflict, and leave it at that. Should you two bump into each other at friend gatherings or something, try to keep your composure. Focus on the friends you do have, or you can do what I do, and pretend ex-friend is an NPC character and you don’t feel like interacting with said person to move onto the next quest. I’ve done this to co-workers I couldn’t stand, and peers who drove me up a wall and it works wonders. But find something that works for you.

Fourth, focus on something that is going to benefit you. If you and bestie were always there for each other 24/7 it can be difficult figuring out what to do with your time now that they are not at the center, but trying out new things and new experiences are essential in helping one deal with heartbreak be it from a friend or partner. Enjoy the little things, find your zen or whatever the fuck gives you that spark to keep staying curious.

Fifth, get involved with community. Now, I am not saying go out there and get another BFF. I am saying that as social creatures, we need each other. Getting closure from other people can be a step towards healing and maybe forming future friendships. Find your niche, tribe, or pack of people and let them know you’re hurting and need help getting to your closure.

Last, and to me, this is the most important step: What did you learn from this relationship? Do you tend to have a lot of friendships where this happens? Do you tend to choose a lot of friends like this person? etc. etc. etc. The silver lining to a friend breakup is addressing your own potential toxic behaviors if there are any. Of course, your friend may have been deeply problematic on their own, and you might have to realize a sometimes-harder truth: there was nothing you could’ve done to fix them or the relationship. It is what it is. But can you learn from it? Can you grow from it? Look for the patterns so that way you come out stronger.

Speaking from personal experience, I went through many of these steps after I broke off with someone I considered family. My dad beat me up and I couldn’t drive to get help cause my body was fucked up and I called her repeatedly in the middle of the night to help me, but the following morning she blocked me from social media, phone, and wouldn’t even talk to me at college. When I addressed her a few days later, she flipped on me for not being considerate and how if I truly needed the help, I should have found a way to get to her.

At that point, given the circumstances, I didn’t want to explain myself given how dire the situation was. Since she already took the steps to block me, I kept my distance, re-evaluated our mutual friends and how to navigate through that, focused on my classes at the time, and tried to get involved with other people. It wasn’t easy, but since she took drastic actions right off the bat, I knew this was a relationship I didn’t want to put more energy into and if I continued to feed it, who knows how toxic it could have become.

I see where I was at fault for my end of things as well as hers, but I did grow from it. There were many lessons learned after that friendship ended that I otherwise wouldn’t know.

My point of all this is that you will heal. Like mourning a death, it takes time and self-compassion. You need to be there for you and try not to force things back into place. What’s done is done. Maybe you guys can come back later and try to reconnect, but if it doesn’t happen, that doesn’t diminish your worth as a person or a friend to others. You’ll find your people and you’ll have new experiences. It’s okay to mourn, it’s okay to be angry and frustrated at what happened, but give it time and move on to the next best thing.

Honey, you got this. Aunt Jay may not know a lot of shit, but I know you’ll find your way. This is the part where I’d smack you hard on the shoulder and rile you up after a tough dad talk but I can’t do that lol. But what I can say is that you’re loved. You are worthy and you’re gonna be alright. Like I say often, get to the good.

#hope this helps you honey #and other people too #stay safe #don't give up #Anonymous

3 notes · View notes

monstersandmaw · 6 years ago

Note

I'm about to spout a series of completely unrelated things, so I'm gonna put my little nickname at the end of each one lol. First off (this is random, but I enjoy telling you things cause you're so nice and supportive so sorry if its weird???) I'm nonbinary/gender-fluid (not sure which term I want to use yet), and when I came out to my mom and asked to get a binder so I could explore, she yelled at me for 2 hours straight. This was years ago, and now shes more open-minded (pt. 1) -BitterMnM

(Pt. 2) so I asked again if I could get a binder, and she said I can do whatever and she will support me (shes even getting me a suit for graduation!!!) But… after her yelling at me, I never researched how to get a binder, or anything like that, and I’m still afraid shes hate me if I got one (even if all that has been cleared up). So I figured a sports bra would work, and it does! And I’ve been using it at home, but today im going out into public and im nervous but excited. -BitterMnM

(Pt. 3) Second, I know you havent written anything for him yet (when it comes to romance), but Maro from Rhett’s story is SO CUTE and he kinds reminds me of my OC Damari. I’d love to draw Maro if you gave a description of him (or if it’s in the story already, I can go back and look on my own), and maybe even draw Dama as well to show you what I mean lol. -BitterMnM

(Pt. 4) aaand lastly, do/did you ever feel like you arent a true writer sometimes? I ask because I’ve taken advanced art class (it’s like majoring in college tbh) throughout middle and high school, and I feel like my peers have grown more than me. It makes me feel like i shouldnt call myself an artist. Do you have any advice for working around that feeling? I know I’m good, it’s just hard reminding myself of that, and my friend’s reassurance always sounds fake. -BitterMnM

(Pt. 5) not because they’re mean or I’m paranoid (for lack of a better word), but just because I’m so negative when it comes to myself. I shouldnt be, I know theres a reason I’m still in the art magnet (that’s what the classes are called), because I couldve been kicked out if I sucked or reached my full potential. But the feeling makes me not want to do art, and it is limiting me, and I hate it. Also, sorry for the long asks!!! >_

***********************

I’m sorry you didn’t get off to the best start about exploring your identity with your mum. I know it can be tough, but I’m glad she turned out a little more supportive in the end - I hope that only continues from hereon in. Sounds like a great idea with the sports bras! (As an aside, I wear sports bras pretty much all the time :D)

Maro’s description is probably in the story somewhere, but he’s kind of slim and elegant, with eternally boyish good looks and wild, curly pink hair. Since he’s a cherry blossom dryad, I imagine him as a soft, baby pink all over, and constantly with little cherry blossoms swirling around him. I’d love to see a drawing of him with your OC! I’m sure they’d get along and be good friends :).

As for not feeling like a true writer, yes, I’m sure a lot of people can identify with that whole ‘imposter/fraud’ feeling. For very many years I was ashamed or embarrassed about being a writer, and never told anyone that I wrote. I still don’t let the people who know me in real life read what I write (monster or otherwise), but now I’m very open about it. It was hard, and I felt very awkward about ‘admitting’ it, but now when someone asks me what I do, I say that I make jewellery, and that I’m a writer. Because I am. I write.

You are an artist because you create and you draw. Fact. You are an artist. Compare how you drew this time last year to how you draw now, and I bet you’ll be surprised at how far your art has evolved and developed. It’s hard to see that kind of change when you’re right in the middle of it all though, so take some time and be kind to yourself too. Being in an environment like a class is always hard because you have constant reminders that there are other people doing the same thing, but honestly, try and focus on your own progress. As you say, if you weren’t dedicated and good at what you do, they might have taken you to one side and said something. It’s also hard to enjoy what you have to do either for a living or for your college degree or whatever because there’s always that element of pressure. Maybe one weekend, take a sketch pad outside and just draw for yourself? That way you can lay claim to it again, and remind yourself of the joy of creating…?

Good luck with everything!!

#binder #bra #dryad #creative advice #being creative is really tough sometimes!#anon ask #ghosti speaks

14 notes · View notes

easilydistractedbyfanfic · 6 years ago

Text

The 100 Ask Game

Thanks for tagging me, @mamabearsdontthink - this looks like FUN!

1. What Station on the Ark would you be from?

I have a pretty green thumb with houseplants and outside flowers and some fruits/veggies. I could realistically be in Farm Station, I think, though Factory might be a fit too.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

Political protest, for sure. Possibly with regard to the hierarchical aspects of their society and/or the representation of the people in the lowest stations.

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

No, not at all if I was aware that people on the Ark needed to know we were alive in order for them to also be saved.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

Probably a rabbit or an owl, based on what I like and have jewelry about

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

Jacapo Sinclair, no question

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Raven, Diyoza, Abby, Luna & Murphy - yeah that’s gonna be wild and I might die but it sure would be fun beforehand

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to you?

I’m from the area of the Boat People and could see myself as a member of Floukru although I might miss land and gardening

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

Jenn = let’s go with Jynn

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

Disliked him fully upon first viewing but after rewatch I think he had some merit. He was not loyal to Raven but I don’t think he did it on purpose

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

Nope, I would be a holdout. I don’t give in to peer pressure, I’m a skeptic and I’ve lived a long time without ever smoking a cigarette or doing drugs, plus I like organics and refuse to invite Alexa or Siri into my home. Yeah, don’t trust The Man, man! LOL

11. What character do you relate to most?

Oh, Raven, easily. We are not the same, but I get the way she made herself strong by focusing on what she was good at and burying the hurt, and her constant desire to keep the painful emotions bottled up. She’s outwardly confident but inwardly worried, and she tells herself all the time “I’ve got this” even when she’s freaked out.

12. What character do you like the least?

Dr. Tsing, that horrible horrible horrible so-called “doctor”

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

I don’t like to be dirty and I hate being cold, so I’m in dark colors and probably bundled up compared to others. My favorite color is blue though, and if I am from Floukru, maybe I have a dark blue jacket or a shirt with blue patches on it. I would also always carry an extra pair of socks in case my feet got cold.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

There’s not many to choose from

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

I could see myself working a bit undercover like Nigel, getting covert things for people or making deals, although my regular job might be for Farm Station

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

yeah, I could do that

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

I’d pick Indra. She was kind of blood thirsty in the beginning and turned away Lincoln from Trikru, but she proved open to other suggestions, she learned to trust Kane and she even avoided killing Pike although she wanted revenge because she realized they needed him to complete the mission they were on. So later Indra, not early Indra. Otherwise probably Luna.

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

Hmmmm.... I get overly affectionate when drunk, so if that’s any indication, I should probably stay away from those nuts

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

Consequences with compassion - hopefully the Bellamy Blake version

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

Jacapo Sinclair, mostly because he wouldn’t have wanted the job. The best leaders are the ones who are least likely to want power

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

Kane’s side

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

Ingredients for food like cake and other desserts. Yum!

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

I have a rune compass tattoo at the base of my neck. I might have more tattoos if I was a Grounder, but not obvious ones - maybe inner wrist, maybe something on my ankle or behind my ear. They would likely be symbols of things or types of characters that would provide protection or inspiration of a life goal. No war paint, I don’t think, though that could change if the cause were just. For hairstyle - I wear my hair down about 98% of the time, so maybe there would be some small braids but I doubt my hair would ever be fully pulled back.

24. Favorite quote?

You know, it’s not well known, but Murphy tells Ontari that “It’s better to lie your way out of a problem than kill” and that always sticks with me. Plus anything Sinclair ever says to Raven (oh my heart)

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

Luna, because I think she could outlive everyone either by fighting until the death OR by stomping off by herself and outlasting everyone out of sheer willpower

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Least: I have never been onboard the mem0ri train

Favorite canon: Murphy & Raven and their whole dynamic

Favorite non-canon: Murven but now there’s sex

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

"What’s Good” by Fenne Lily or “Bill Murray” by Phantogram for songs in the show. For a guest star, I could really get behind Pink being someone who lives on the new planet and is kinda crazy and all about being a strong female leader. She could do something wild or she could do some haunting ballad that would make us all have feelings and I could so see this now

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

Is this a trick question? I mean, there was wine in that lighthouse bunker, and I already said what happens when I get drunk.

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

I wanna go like Sinclair, barrette dad or David Miller - protecting someone I love. It would probably be Raven, honestly.

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

Diyoza

31. A character you’d bang?

Damn, this is a revealing quiz. I’d totally bang Diyoza but this question probably needs it’s own list

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

I’d probably prefer the Eden environment, but ultimately I’d go to space even if it scared me and felt claustrophobic because I would need peer relationships

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

yeah, I’d go along but mentally I might be preparing my eventual escape - creating a fantasy world to escape from the reality of it all

probably read and learn some kind of martial arts

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

I don’t like to recite pledges or make oaths I don’t intend to keep

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

I’d get along with Raven right away, and not just because I love her but because we do have some things in common and I could put up with her snark. Tougher would be Em0ri if she was being mean to Murphy like in S5

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

I think I could go awhile if I had berries, leaves and water as choices. If I had to eat bugs though, I’d probably find a way to kill myself quickly. I’d eventually get lonely, which would be a problem, but if I could find books I’d last a hell of a lot longer too.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

Watch for a while, for sure. See if I could find a way to lure them away from my area for good.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

Diyoza is my favorite for sure

least favorite - McCreary but in a I love to hate him way

39. Would you Spacewalk?

No. I love roller coasters but I wouldn’t bungee jump either

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

Algae if I had to pick, otherwise my life would totally be in danger because I’d be so repulsed

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

I’m up for diplomacy and would keep trying til all options were gone before I’d head to war. Maybe inter-marriages, or skill trading/trainings

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

Thumb drives into bullet holes since at least I wouldn’t get infected by that

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

Yeah, if I thought the biggest chance would be that it knocked her out rather than kill her, and that having her out of the way would mean peace

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

Sleep along with my faves

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

Not too different from the show, maybe, although I would have sent Indra down to explore with that team since she’s an experienced leader and fighter, but if we wanna go a bit fantasy like for a moment, then I’d wake up Raven & Murphy and “accidentally” lock them in a closet together for as long as it would take.

Consider yourself tagged if you wanna participate, and I’d love to read your own choices!

#the 100 ask game #the 100 #this was revealing

6 notes · View notes

fightevilandthengetblownup · 5 years ago

Text

Chat: Jo + Gray romcoms

(for lexy)

Jo> She likes pointless fluff movies. I’m being told I have to watch Friends With Benefits next after I finish the last 20 mins of the first half of this series

Jo> :l

Jo> *actually doesnt mind that movie just finds it hysterical Jo does*

Grey> Is Friends with Benefits the one with Mila Kunis?

Jo> Yep

Grey> Who’s the male lead in that?

Jo> Justin Timberlake

Grey> Ah

Jo> It’s kind of hilarious that Jo likes that movie

Grey> Because of how she is about relationships?

Jo> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_CVAI_twO0 and then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA6M-V4oHso first 20 seconds just… kind of amazingly hilarious.

Jo> She’s somewhere between or actually boh main characters at once

Jo> (Also the Train in the background of the first cracks me up)

Grey> TRAIN IN THE BACKGROUND LOL

Jo> Yeeeep

Grey> You linked me the sex scene? LOL *signs in*

Jo> Its the end of the crappy romcom movie that the girl wanted to watch and the guy spent the entire time paying out.

Jo> LOL

Jo> Yes

Jo> Because

Jo> First 20 seconds is magic

Jo> …hell the entire thing is magic

Jo> And hilariously like if Jo were a guy and a girl at the same time

Jo> honest to god

Grey> “I sneeze sometimes after I come” *drink everywhere*

Jo> Wait for it

Grey> HES SINGING

Jo> LOL

Grey> “WHOA TOO FAR”

Jo> “When women start to scream it can me misconstrued”

Grey> *dead*

Grey> So much for just once

Jo> LOL Yeeeep.

Jo> Can you see kind of where I get my amusement from?

Grey> Yep

Jo> “Grab my hair.” “Kiss my neck”

Grey> *dies at butt part*

Jo> *nodnod*

Grey> Oh my god

Grey> Oh man mom walking in at the end

Jo> Lol yep

Jo> I find so much fucking amusement from that movie and the fact it’s number 3 on Jo’s fave ‘romcom’s

Grey> What are the first two?

Jo> Pretty Woman and Miss Congeniality

Grey> Awwwww Miss Congeniality. "So her top favorites are about a hooker finding a sugar daddy, a tomboy becoming a barbie doll and two friends fucking?“ Gray that’s not… no.

Jo> "Got a problem with that?” Gray. Darling. No… …though he has a point but no…

Grey> “Other than your taste in movies is shit. No.” He’s got the air of implying about him.

Jo> “…I’m just glad it was top three then, I’m sure you’d find the next two just as shit…” Jo is well aware the implication and I am snickering my head off

Grey> “And what are those, Legally Blonde and The House Bunny?” *pets her*

Jo> “…no. Clueless and a tie between 500 Days of Summer and Runaway Bride….

Jo> ” She knows how bad those are, but theyre better than Legally Blonde and House Bunny at least. (What’s Your Number, Stardust, Legally Blonde, You’ve Got Mail and Sleepless In Seattle round out the top ten though)

Grey> “*snickering*” Yeah. The House Bunny is shit but Legally Blonde isn’t bad imo. It’s got Matt Davis in it for one so…

Jo> “…oh go ahead. Say it.” Lol yeah House Bunny is. Legally Blonde’s pretty alright - the second is dreadful though.

Grey> “Say what that you have horrible picks and clearly just want some guy to swoop in a rescue you?” Second one doesnt exist in my mind. Because I like the first one too much to admit it.

Jo> “You just don’t like romantic comedies and most of those involve free thinking, independent women who can survive all on their own without a man…sorta.” LOL I cried my way through it. In pain.

Grey> “Except they all end up with a guy and the whole plot of them is either "fucks a dude and keeps fucking him” or “discovers she’s ladylike after all”.“ I saw it on tv once, attempted to watch then switched the channel 5 minutes in because it was hurting

Jo> "Pretty Woman is about how you aren’t just your job - that there is more to a person than just that; Miss Congeniality is about doing the right thing, and that everyone can be more than what their intial appearance might suggest; FoB is about how… sometimes worrying about the labels of things can ruin something that’s working and that …getting over that shit’s for the best…” It’s dreadful..

Grey> “Uh huh.” Yeah I dont know what charm the first one has that the second one is missing but you can definitely tell it’s missing it. Same with Miss Congeniality, first movie is cute second movie makes you want to tear out your eyes

Jo> (Oh god, I just realised the girl in Friends with Benefits at the start is going to go see Pretty Woman at the cinema as some romcom weeklong thing and her then bf dumps her out front and she’s already missed the boots)

Grey> *DEAD*

Jo> “…shut up, alright. God, a girl is allowed to like pointless fluff sometimes!” LOL So so true. The same goes for Bring It On. *crying at this movie again now*

Jo> (“You know I love this movie! If a prostitute and a ruthless businessman who fall in love, then anyone can. *wistful sigh/tone*” *dying*)

Grey> “I would think you get enough of that with the runt.” Oh my god that’s hilarious

Jo> “…I think your brother knows better than to..freak me out with that sort of thing. Reality, fiction, don’t cross the streams..much.” I know. I forgot it and now Im dead.

Grey> “So he’s not constantly trying to bring you flowers or jewelry or anyt of that other crap? I’m surprised he has so much restraint.” No wonder Jo likes the movie

Jo> “No, he’s not. Seems you don’t know him quite as well as you think…” Oh yeah. … http://youtu.be/GvBNVJjhj4Q?t=11s Just… start o the film is pretty much this. And yep. It totally does.

Grey> “Or he doesn’t like you as much as he says he does.” I feel bad for Justin’s character cause that bitch crazy

Grey> “Next time just shit on my face cause that’s the same thing” no it isnt lady

Jo> Wait for the explanation of Mila’s character

Grey> WOW Andy’s a dick

Jo> LOL Yuuuuup

Grey> *spit take at Justin*

Jo> Just wait

Jo> It gets more

Grey> *DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD*

Jo> “Or maybe he likes me as much as he says he does and doesn’t want me to feel uncomfortable or pressured and is making sure I’m okay with things.” I KNOW RIGHT?! AND THATS JUST THE FIRST THREE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE

Grey> “If he liked you as much as he said, he’d get you flowers. Because that’s what Grey does, flowers and chocolate and bubble baths with candles and rose petals and all the other lame shit because that’s what he does, he does the lame "romantic” crap and he likes doing that. So he either doesnt actually care that much or he’s completely terrified of you and is too scared to even approach the matter"

Grey> That’s hilarious

Grey> Especially Justin’s just completely lunatic of the girlfriend. Like Mina’s guy was just lazy and a jerk but Justin’s girl was fucking monkeynuts crazy

Jo> “He would not - he might want to, but right now? He wouldn’t. I prefer non-materialistic things anyway so…” I know. She’s amazing. She keeps calling too. I seriously recommend it if you have a few hours to spare or fill or are bored sometime because that movie is just great. Better than No Strings (the Portman/Kutcher one)

Grey> “If he wouldnt its because you’re scaring him. But hey if you’re cool with him being too scared to say what he wants then….” It does look a lot funnier than Natalie’s

Jo> “I am not /scaring/ him. He knows he can say whatever he likes to me or bring up stuff…. …” It is. I’ve seen both several times, Friends With is much better. The original Coke to Nat’s new.

Grey> “Sure he does. That’s why he didn’t tell you he loved you for the longest time. Because he’s totally not afraid to talk to you.” I feel like I should just watch both then Black Swan to mindfuck myself but I can’t right now lol

Jo> “He does, and… that’s none of your business, and it wasn’t 'the longest time’, was barely three months after..” LOL Oh god that would be dreadful.

Grey> “Uh huh. And he hasnt really said it again has he?” Yep it would

Jo> “He has too. …a few times.” Brainfuck indeed.

Grey> “And I bet you know exactly how many because it doesnt happen a lot.” Completely

Jo> “…your point being? People don’t have to say they love one another all the time, I’m sure you could count on one hand the number of times you’ve said it.”

Grey> “Because I’m a arrogant asshole monster who doesn’t really give two shits to get emotional about things. Does that sound like Grey to you?”

Jo> “…no. Sounds a little like me though, so instead - how often has Anna said it to you, huh? Just because he doesn’t say it often doesn’t mean he doesn’t know he can ask about things or talk about stuff.”

Grey> “More than five times less than twenty. He’s stupid though, how would you know he knew he could ask if he doesnt feel like he could say it? Doesnt matter now I guess with that collar on you he’ll be too freaked out to do much of anything”

Jo> “..Oh. ….Because he knows me? Because neither of us is going to judge or fly off the handle? Because I haven’t gone running yet? ….shut up, fuck you.”

Grey> “If he knows you he knows that your terrified of getting attached and won’t bring it up for fear of driving you away. I’m just stating facts.”

Jo> “Otherwise known as caring and respecting a loved ones boundaries. And you say that like we’re not attached, because we are, so shove off. …you’re being a dick with the truth.”

Grey> “Otherwise known as being spineless. Wait until he wants to get married then see how attached you are. Better than just being a dick right?”

Jo> “There’s a difference - one is being respectful, the other has no basis other than fear for it. …. ………. Let’s not talk about that, ever, again. Oh shut up..”

Grey> “So how do you know he’s doing it out of respect instead of fear? Just wait.”

Jo> “Because, I just do. …And I said again…”

Grey> “Uh huh. You’re going to run when you see that little box.”

Jo> “…. ….I’m not going to run..” Mental commentary: “I’m going to politely say I need time to think, excuse myself and go hide under the covers. The fastest will be a brisk walk. Yes. No running. It’d be fine.”

Grey> “Yes you are. Watching him bend his knee and go into his pocket for it is just going to scare you so badly you’re going to take off running like a scared deer.” Awwww poor Jo

Jo> “No. I’m… I have more restraint than that even if that /isn’t/ my response.” Think she’d feel bad for it but..unless she suggests it she’ll probably freak.

Grey> “You’re right, cause he’s probably going to do it in public. You wouldnt want to make a scene. All those eyes on you expecting to say yes especially his when he looks so happy and expectant.” He wouldnt ask. I mean like… probably never unless they actually had a kid. Because he knows it wouldnt work

Jo> ( http://youtu.be/VIirTZQWJBg?t=30s *crying* Guess Jo has a penis where her vaginas supposed to be)

Grey> (SO DEAD. Oh Woody Harrelson you are always hilarious)

Jo> “…shut up. How do you know the answer would be no? Or that I wouldn’t be the one askin’? Everyone’s always calling me the boy of us…” Cue gray laughing head off. And yeah, no - I’d figured he probably wouldn’t, what’s sad is a marriage would work but proposing the idea wouldnt. (IKR? He’s a gay sports writer)

Grey> “Because you don’t do commitment? You… ask him… *laughing*” *nods* He’d figure they couldnt therefore wouldnt ask unless its a kid in which case he’d feel like “this is a family now” and ask. (He’s hilarious. I lost it)

Jo> “I do sometimes. …. *tries not to laugh as well* Yeah, okay shut up..” Yep - which I think he might be able to get a yes if he didn’t say it was cause she was preg or had had a baby, mde the family comment instead. (LOL Yeeep)

Grey> “Fine. That was funny enough I’ll shut up. *still laughing*” *nods* I think his approach would be something like “I’d like for us to be a family. And I want to be officially part of that family.” Plus that way if something happens to Jo the kids stay with him. (Armpit girl? Do I even want to know…)

Jo> ( http://youtu.be/GJucbfuvh-A armpit girl)

Grey> (Oh Justin baby what is it with you and crazy broads)

Jo> “Glad you enjoyed it… *fails at holding back a giggle* Okay seriously, I’m not that bad.. or I’m not the worst, so shuddup.” Yeah, that would actually probably work. (Yeeeep)

Grey> “Not the worst? Right okay compared to like me or something.” And of course Grey would have the sense enough not to try to make a big affair of it, nor would he want to

Jo> “There are worse people out there without going straight to you, Gray.” Yep yep - big affair woul get a no.

Jo> (Oh god, I forgot the guy in this has a stutter when he was nervous)

Grey> “*indignantly* Are not. I’m the worst. End of discussion.” *slaps Gray for wanting to look like the horrible monster again* I think the closest he’d come to that was asking if she wanted her mother there or any close friends. (So dead)

Jo> “Sure thing, I just meant there were people between the two of us on the worse scale is all.” *snickers at him* lol true true. Knowing Jo she’d not want much, or until after. (Yeeep)

Grey> “Nope. You’re close enough to me there’s no one left between us.” *nods* Jesse go to bed jo harvelle gray chat complete Aug 21st, 2012

1 note · View note