#but i think they understand that pain on a personal level
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To be clear, I find you a waste of meat and blood and breath, and the only reason I am replying to you at all instead of throwing you into my group chats to mock the unfortunate fact that you exist on the same planet as me is because I’m feeling generous enough to let my followers see exactly what I think of the drivel running out of the worthless slop oozing from the holes in your wretched terf skull.
You read a post analyzing the ways AFAB masculinity is punished, erased, and forced into submission in media and your first instinct was to publicly seethe because someone, somewhere, might exist outside the little box you’ve built around “womanhood.”
Nobody called you a boy. Nobody took your gender from you. But you saw transmascs talking about shared oppression, about the violence they face when they defy the narrow, gendered cages that society is eager to shove us into, and you couldn’t stand not being the center of it.
That’s not feminism. That’s self centered self worship dressed up in trauma cosplay. You’ve turned your pain into a weapon to silence others, and it’s transparent as hell.
What’s most glaring here is that you’ve somehow missed the point entirely. The problem with your reaction is that it doesn’t actually challenge the structures that hurt everyone who dares to live outside the suffocating boundaries of traditional gender roles. What you’re defending isn’t just your “womanhood” (a construct, by the way, that you’re too attached to, grow a personality outside of your genitals, it isn’t worth it), it’s your need to keep it exclusive, to keep everyone else who doesn’t fit your version of the narrative beneath your thumb. You’re not fighting for women, you’re fighting to ensure no one else gets to have a voice in the conversation without you at the center of it.
If the idea that not every AFAB character needs to be interpreted as a woman, or that the way characters AFAB are punished for displaying masculinity, (very cool reducing women to their genitals by the way, very feminist of you) and the fact you’re too damn stupid to understand links to oppression sends you into this level of incoherent rage, then you’re not defending women. You’re defending your self perceived monopoly on suffering. You want to claim that only your experiences count, that your version of womanhood is the only legitimate one, and anyone who steps outside of that suffocating mold is an attack on you personally. That’s not activism.
That’s ego.
It’s a self-centered, reactionary defense of a gendered identity that only exists to keep you from having to share the space with anyone who might threaten your neatly constructed worldview. You’re willing to trample over anyone, cis, trans, or otherwise, who threatens that. You’re perfectly fine with perpetuating harm as long as your pathetic bioessentialist narrative stays intact.
You don’t actually care about the oppression of women. You care about your personal image of womanhood. You care about making sure that your womanhood is the only one that matters, that your experience of womanhood is the one that’s respected and validated. You’ve created a box and you’re trying to shove everyone else into it, even if that means silencing trans men and non-binary folks who have every right to claim space in this conversation. The minute someone challenges your narrow definition of gender you lose your mind, like an annoying, undisciplined child throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get their way. The irony is that you’re perpetuating the same exclusionary, patriarchal bullshit you claim to fight against.
Your anger. It’s not about “protecting women.” It’s about policing womanhood. It’s about deciding who gets to take up space and who has to shrink themselves to accommodate your fragile understanding of gender. You don’t want inclusivity. You want control. You want to dictate who counts as a woman, who doesn’t, and who gets to exist in between. And anyone who challenges that, trans men, non-binary people, or GNC women, becomes an enemy to be silenced, marginalized, erased.
We’re not confused. We didn’t fumble. We didn’t make some catastrophic mistake that you can pounce on to further your own agenda. No. The problem is that you can’t tolerate a world that doesn’t orbit your worthless existence personally. A world where other voices, other struggles, other forms of gender, are allowed to exist alongside your own. You’ve internalized the idea that feminism means “only my experiences count” and, in doing so, you’ve stripped yourself of any real solidarity with the people fighting the same systems of oppression.
And now you’re upset because someone dares to suggest that the lived experiences of trans men, non-binary folks, and GNC women have value too. But instead of engaging, instead of listening, you default to the same tired, regressive response: I’m the only one who counts.
You’ve become so obsessed with your fragile vision of womanhood that you’ve completely lost sight of the fact that feminism is supposed to be about solidarity. And you’re not fighting for a better world; you’re fighting to keep your version of it tightly controlled and exclusive.
So go ahead. Stay mad. But don’t expect anyone who actually understands the meaning of solidarity to listen to you.
Touch grass?
No. ma’am, actually, you need to dig yourself deep hole.
Then, rot in it.
I saw a post earlier, I will not be appending my response to that post to the post itself, but I did want to touch upon it.
The post was about how trans men and transmasculine people afab don't have any media tropes that are, we'll say, problematic for them, the way that the 'funny man in a dress' trope is trans-misogynistic, I wanted to discuss that and lay that claim to rest.
Below I will be discussing some tropes in media that affect trans masculine people afab. Some may be worse than others, some accidental, some maybe on purpose, but I've compiled them because I think it's important to understand that just how the harmful tropes aimed at masculine people afab do exist, they just differ in their execution.
DISCLAIMER: If I have worded anything poorly in this post please tolerate it, English is my fourth language and it can be overwhelming to attempt linguistic perfection or the performance of it for native English Speaker.
EDIT: tumblr really messed my layout and formatting up, sorry for that but I'm not fixing it unless I really need to.
1. “Tomboy Gets a Makeover” = Suddenly She’s Worth Something (AKA: Now She’s Fuckable)
This one’s everywhere. You’ve got a character who’s rough around the edges, usually wears hoodies, maybe doesn’t shave, maybe doesn’t even care what people think. And the story punishes her for that. Until someone (usually a fairy godmother or mean girl turned ally) shoves her into a dress, puts some gloss on her lips, straightens her hair...
and then she’s finally seen as beautiful, desirable, and valid.
The core message? Your masculinity is temporary, and your value doesn’t actually exist until you conform to traditional femininity. You weren’t lovable, datable, or even visible until you softened up and got pretty.
This trope tells young people AFAB:
You're not enough unless you perform femininity
Your gender nonconformity is a flaw to fix
If you're not seen as sexy in the "right" way, you're invisible
And this sticks. Especially for transmascs, who grew up seeing their natural instincts or styles treated like a before picture.
Examples:
The Princess Diaries – Mia goes from “invisible frizzy nerd” to prom-queen level once her hair is flat and her legs are waxed.
A Cinderella Story – Sam’s baggy clothes are treated like a shield for her insecurity, until she shows up in a dress and suddenly earns male attention.
The Breakfast Club – Allison is artsy and weird and quietly masc... until she’s quite literally pink-washed and given a makeover so she can be datable.
She's All That – Laney is cool and self-possessed in her own way, but the movie waits until she’s in a red dress and contacts to take her seriously.
Meteor Garden – Shan Cai’s toughness is tolerable, but she’s still only framed as truly “lovable” after being softened through male attention.
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2. “She Pretended to Be a Boy” = She’s a Lying Snake Whore
When characters AFAB dress or live as boys, it’s almost always framed as deception. Not survival. Not autonomy. Not self-expression. Just trickery. There’s a dramatic “reveal” scene where everyone suddenly feels betrayed, like the character has been scheming the whole time instead of just…
living. Sound familiar?
This isn’t just about fiction. It directly echoes how transmasc people are treated in reality, as liars, as fake men, as threats to those around them just by existing. The idea that someone AFAB could be masculine, or just a guy, is treated like a trap set for unsuspecting cis people.
The underlying message:
You can’t be trusted if you present as masculine
Your gender is a mask, a trick, a crime
If people liked you before, they were duped
it’s the same logic used to justify violence and exclusion towards Transmasculine people AFAB in reality.
Examples:
She’s the Man – Viola pretends to be her brother to play soccer, but it’s all “uh-oh she has boobs” humor. Her gender presentation is the punchline.
The King’s Affection – She lives as the crown prince and does a damn good job, but the tension constantly hinges on whether she’s tricking people by being there at all. Masculinity is okay only if it’s secret and painful.
Coffee Prince – Go Eun-chan presents as male to get a job, and instead of critiquing the system that forces her to do it, the narrative focuses on her guilt and “the reveal.” Masculinity is tolerated, but never fully respected.
Victor/Victoria – Gender is treated as a clever disguise. The moment someone finds out “the truth,” it’s all shock, betrayal, and drama. Queerness framed as a con.
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3. “It’s Just a Phase” = You’ll Be a Real Girl™️ Eventually
You can be a tomboy for now. Run around, get messy, be loud. It’s even kind of cute! As a little kid who needs to grow up. Then suddenly, your masculinity isn’t just childish! it’s a problem. Something to “grow out of.” Something to fix!
This trope trains audiences to see AFAB masculinity as:
Immature
A quirk of childhood
A stepping stone to real femininity
And what does “real girlhood” mean in this context? Dresses. Lip gloss. Boys. The implication is that your value kicks in when you start performing the kind of femininity that makes you palatable and desirable. You were allowed to be wild for a minute, but only if you clean up nice later.
It reinforces the same tired message: Girlhood = destination, not a choice. Masculinity is just the wrong stop on the way. If you are Transmasculine AFAB, you are a child who should grow up, immature, being treated as much younger than they are is a huge issue with transmasculine people AFAB.
I would like to add that this is also a misogynistic trope, but misogyny intersects with transandrophobia in ways that are valid to talk about.
Examples:
The Parent Trap – Annie and Hallie are opposites, but Hallie (tomboy-coded) only really “settles down” and softens once she’s back with her mom. Her rougher edge is charming but temporary.
Now and Then – Roberta is the tomboy of the group, and her Big Moment of Growth™ comes when she puts on a dress. Not solving childhood trauma. Not emotional healing. The dress.
Boys Over Flowers – Jan-di is scrappy, resilient, athletic! and then she falls for the male lead and gradually loses every bit of that fire. By the end, she’s quiet, deferential, and soft. like that’s her natural arc.
Hi My Sweetheart– Rainie Yang’s character starts out masc-presenting and bold. She’s mocked, corrected, and eventually “fixed” into a soft, pink, cutesy girl. Her makeover isn’t for her. it’s the narrative giving her permission to be “dateable.”
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5. “One of the Boys” But Never Really One of the Boys
She’s tough. She’s cool. She fights. She hangs with the guys. She might even burp. But make no mistake! she’s never actually allowed to be one. This trope gives characters AFAB just enough masculinity to seem "interesting," then punishes them if they go too far with it.
Again, this is also a misogynistic trope, but the intersectionality here is important even in the ones that don't seem obvious, some people will poke fun at me putting Natasha here for example, but if you do that you're misunderstanding my intent and I do not care for it.
I am not saying ANY of these characters are coded transmasculine, I am discussing how masculinity is treated in regards to characters AFAB.
The message is clear: You can borrow masculinity, but don’t get comfortable in it.
These characters:
Get constant reminders that they're different
Are sexualized, softened, or sidelined the moment they get too close to “boyish”
Exist to complement the boys, not compete with them
Examples:
Avengers – Natasha Romanoff is deadly, competent, cool under pressure, but also constantly shoved into the “team mom” or “sexy redhead with feelings” role. Her backstory centers around forced sterilization, and her arc in Age of Ultron literally says she’s a “monster” for not being able to have kids. Tell me again how she’s treated like “one of the guys.”
How to Train Your Dragon – Astrid starts out as the alpha fighter, but as soon as Hiccup grows up, she becomes a background girlfriend with no arc of her own. Her sharp edge gets smoothed into supportiveness.
My Hero Academia – Nearly every tough AFAB character gets undercut. Mirko is badass but exists on the fringes. Jirou gets development, but only as support. Bakugo’s mom is comic relief. Meanwhile, male characters are allowed complex, messy, powerful arcs without ever needing to "soften" for the audience.
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“AFAB Character Learns to Embrace Womanhood” = Moral Victory!
You start with a tough, scrappy, masculine-coded person AFAB, maybe she fights, maybe she’s emotionally shut down, maybe she just doesn’t want to be like other girls. It doesn't matter, this is how it ends:
She softens. She submits. She “grows” by becoming a wife, a mom, a love interest, a Real Girl™️.
This isn’t healing. It’s containment. The message is: your rebellion was cute, but it’s time to settle down and accept the role assigned to you.
“Growth” = compliance. “Strength” = giving it up. “Maturity” = pink, dresses, and a baby carriage.
Examples:
The Hunger Games – Katniss Everdeen is trauma-coded, masc-leaning, and uncomfortable with romance or traditional femininity. So what’s her ending? A baby epilogue where she’s in a dress, quietly settled into nuclear family life. Is she happy about it? No, but there's no denying that this is her ending.
Mulan II– In the original, she challenges gender roles and becomes a literal war hero. In the sequel? The plot revolves around her needing to prove she can still be soft, feminine, and wife-material. Her masculinity is not allowed to just exist.
Jojo Rabbit – Rosie (the mother) is framed as the ideal woman: warm, loving, feminine. Meanwhile, Elsa (a girl in hiding) starts out guarded and hard-edged, but only becomes “redeemed” once she softens and embraces traditional femininity.
A Silent Voice / Koe no Katachi – The narrative constantly punishes her for not being “nice enough,” and her arc only begins to shift once she becomes more demure and apologetic. She cannot be both a good person and brash or hotheaded, submit or be branded evil.
Inuyasha – Sango is introduced as a demon-slaying warrior. But her story ends in the most vanilla way possible: marriage, motherhood, and sidelining. She loses her edge completely. I hate the end of Inuyasha so much it is borderline a meme in my circles.
Fruits Basket - Uotani is tall, tomboyish, and used to be in a girl gang. She has strength, history, and depth. And then her “big growth moment”? Realizing she wants to be softer and more ladylike, because femininity is treated as the finish line within the story.
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“Masculine Presentation” = Joke Costume or Moral Failure
When characters AFAB wear suits, cut their hair short, or pass as masc in any way, media rarely lets it land without a laugh track, or a moral consequence.
Masculine presentation is treated as:
A silly costume
A failed experiment
A sign of monstrosity
Or something to be shamed out of.
The story makes sure you feel embarrassed for them. It invites the audience to laugh, cringe, or judge, because “girl in boy clothes” is still a punchline in mainstream media. Just like 'Boy in girl clothes' is.
And yes, this hurts trans women, but it also absolutely targets butch, GNC, and transmasc folks. Masculinity is marked as wrong on AFAB bodies, funny if temporary, disgusting if permanent.
Examples:
Scooby-Doo – Velma’s masc coding (short hair, flat clothes, practical shoes) constantly becomes the joke. If she dresses even more masc? She’s “mistaken” for a man and ridiculed. Her queerness and presentation are treated like a quirk at best, a problem at worst.
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody – London Tipton wears a single masc outfit and the laugh track explodes. The outfit itself isn’t weird, but the show acts like the sight of her in anything non-feminine is a cosmic-level joke.
Friends – Rachel and Monica wear tuxedos in one episode, and the joke is entirely that it looks “wrong.” Chandler mocks them, the camera lingers on how “awkward” they look.
iCarly – Sam dresses masc semi-regularly, and is constantly mocked for acting “like a guy.” In interviews, actress Jennette McCurdy has said this ongoing joke contributed directly to her eating disorder relapse. This is not harmless.
Matilda - Miss Trunchbull is heavily masc-coded: big build, short hair, no makeup, harsh voice. She’s a literal villain, and her appearance is meant to be scary. Her masculinity is associated directly with her monstrosity.
Aikatsu! – Girls in suits are used as performance shock value. “Omg, a girl in a tuxedo??” is the whole joke.
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IN CLOSING.
These tropes don’t exist in a vacuum.
they shape how people see us, and how we see ourselves.
When characters AFAB exploring masculinity are only ever jokes, villains, phases, or tragedies, it sends a message: You don’t get to be this. You’re only allowed to visit. And when you're done, you better come back “correct.”
But we’re not punchlines. We’re not broken girls. Some of us are boys.
Some of us are neither.
Some of us are just butch as hell and happy about it.
We deserve stories where we aren’t corrected. Where masculinity on AFAB people isn’t a phase, a disguise, or a joke. But our lives, and the truth of them.
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crossover where nightwing has to work with black widow. (maybe a retelling of an existing black widow storyline through nightwing pov narrating how competent nat is.)
we all know the memes. of course we assume nightwing is going to hit on the woman with long red hair. and maybe he is attracted to nat. her competence and her composure. that is understandable. but what really get the quiet intensity of his attention are her interactions with yelena.
they know the extent of each other's skills completely. they move like they're the same person. sometimes yelena tries to show off and show up nat. she is supposed to be unimpressed, but nightwing picks up the tiny body language cues of her enjoyment. when they look at each other and touch each other, they linger. when they're injured, they can tell where the other is hiding her pain, and press down where the pressure will soothe. they're usually fiercely independent and yet they seem to naturally fall back to each other. nat grips yelena painfully in an argument and nightwing's quick eye catches that yelena's first reaction is pleasure. their gloved fingers skim under the straps on each other's thighs to adjust their holsters. casually reach for each other's hips to exchange the gear between the compartments of their belts.
in the end they finish the mission. natal--black widow and white widow are going to fall back to their safehouse. to rest. sure. nightwing's face is a bit flushed and he's trembling a bit when they debrief and part ways. as soon as he's alone he is sweating and panting and forcing himself fully suited into a cold shower. he needs to DO THINGS to his own successor. he needs to get on yelenat's level. he has been mentally torturing himself with guilt and self hatred over his indulgent dark homoerotic selfcestuous seduction of his younger brother. and now he realizes for all his guilt he's a mere whitebread idiotbaby compared to chad senpai dom black widow's GAME. his lover deserves better--he can't let him find out how he's been depriving him. thigh holsters. he is going to die.
Anon, I'm-
Ok so first of all, Yelenat's gloved fingers skimming under the straps of their thigh holsters??? Holy shit. The imagery <3 god I love it and I'm including that in my Yelenat notes and putting that in a fic.
Second, I have thought about a Yelenat and Dickjay crossover before, because there is some intersection in why I ship both of these, at least on the surface.
Also I love this established Yelenat, where they are so familiar with each other, AND trusting and complementing each other is SO 😍😍 given their history. I imagine it's been a while they are together, to get to that point. It reminds me of the vibes of BW2020 (sans the mischaracterization in that run).
Seeing Yelenat makes Dick think "I get Jason dressing up as Nightwing now 😔" <- hates it because he also remembers Jason killed people in his name, so he just jerks off very guiltly and ashamedly to his dark selfcestuous fantasies of what happened in New York. Until that isn't enough anymore, of course.
Also, he'd been trying, okay, to not get irritated and unreasonably mad whenever Jason didn't fight/move similar to *him* in the field whenever they were out together. Now he wants the Yelenat level of synchronicity, and by god, he will get all the other influences (especially those that are purely Bruce's 🤨) out of Jason.
Also, ahem, I think he catches Nat calling Yelena "little one", and from that point on, "little wing" is completely ruined for him (and so will it be for Jason) .
On another note, imagine Dick finding out about the body-swap 🤔 a totally reasonable measure to take with your successor who's obsessed with you.
Thank you anon, I love this ask!
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"We've all got to be fighting that fight every day."
Happy Pride, everyone...
#david tennant#soft scottish hipster gigolo#reasons to be cheerful#some people hold up a rainbow flag. David Tennant turns himself into one.#David and Michael are both tremendous LGBTQ+ allies#but i think they understand that pain on a personal level#love seeing him become so much more comfortable in his own skin#and we can see the change in him on the inside and outside#let people be who they are#happy pride month indeed#<3
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If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.
#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors#infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like#he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in#black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression#but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience#plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns#Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me#like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions#he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self#righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand#saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault#but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up#I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me#you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his#head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead#to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home#like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol#also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate#when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man#it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through#these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted#fallout#fallout new vegas#Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant#I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished#ulysses fnv#fnv ulysses#lonesome road
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caant stop thinking about that comic i reblogged earlier about canon genderbent laios being a miserable housewife. but what if she also went to the bar with her baby. hi
#like pushing labru yuri out of the way bc idrc. just thinking about how horrid she would be as a mom like not on purpose but Ahh.#like did miss kui understand the levels of Psychological damage she was unleashing with that What if laios was a woman comic. everytime i#think about it i start clutching my head and moaning in pain like Aaaaa. ok so shes the same personality wise with the same passions and#dreams and Freak tendencies#but no outlet for them and no one around who Gets her (bevause either way falin leaves for magic school) and no way to pursue those things#just forced to settle down and have kids way too young and live life unfulfilled and repressed and always feeling like you dont belong. ahaa
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oh no I am now sobbing lmaooooo
it’s just that dude sometimes my capacity to love so passionately feels like it will never be matched by anyone ever
like it’s such a burden to feel. to feel like you feel so much harder so much deeper than other people
Sometimes I feel like no one understands how it feels even tho I know other people feel things too. It doesn’t feel like they’re as strong as mine are.
and I suppose that’s why I’m attracted to these gravitationally fantastically strong stories of emotional bonds between two people that is almost impossible to tangibly quantify. like it’s bigger than words can express.
because those are always how my feelings are and it’s so often not shared by anyone I’ve felt things for. the positive emotions are unfettered and unyielding and the negative emotions that follow are even more so
I want someone to feel for me the way I feel for everyone else. And it’s painful in a way that no words can ever describe when they don’t.
#and I think that’s why watching someone choose someone in all realities has slammed into me so hard#because I understand that feeling on a level I don’t think many other people do#I understand it because it’s what I would do when given a person I felt so much for#I understand it because it’s all the things I want but know I don’t feel at all#that I haven’t felt or experienced in my own world ever#like I so deeply understand viktor’s pain I know that loneliness so deep in my soul that it burns#and I so deeply powerfully feel for jayce because if someone like that would choose me every time in any reality it would heal me too#to be accepted and comforted that powerfully is something I have never known and something I will always want#and why I can’t stop thinking about it and reliving it
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people being outright hostile and nasty about caramel and damocles are kind of like. Willfully Ignoring The Point.
#a.txt#sleep token#skill issue first of all but more importantly#vessel has always drawn from the pain he's in to craft 'offerings' - do you not have any understanding of the harm that fame can do?#like. serious harm can come from that experience. we have seen so many artists and actors and such just flame out so hard#from the pressure and the exposure and the lack of privacy and basic respect like... money aside?#the shit it does to the psyche is not talked about enough because we see Famous People as objects. we dehumanize them for better or worse#he's allowed to write about the trauma of skyrocketing into hyperfame#their listeners grew 1162% after tmbte released. like. that's jarring. it's surreal.#chappell speaks out abt this shit and she's right to. he's just as within his rights to sing about it.#the lyrics still say he's grateful and he's glad to share his art and he's trying really hard like. this is very personal and earnest stuff#i have respect for it on a base level on top of just enjoying the songs#and damocles specifically like. someone said it better than me but 'i know these chords are boring' like#that's intentional. the song is toned down Intentionally. it's not the fullest extent of what they're capable of#because they're Saying something about being expected to push the limits with Every song they put out and how unrealistic that is#as an expectation and a standard to hold Themselves to#it's not healthy! i can relate significantly and so can others#if you can't that's fine but like#there's something very mean spirited about the hate i am seeing and it's like. you're not as cool as you think you are lmao#like just leave it be if you're not into it but this band has always been extremely earnest and sincere about mental health issues and like#this is the current chapter in the story. it's a very suitable and appropriate theme to be riding on. it's relevant. it's real.#ungrateful whining? come on now. it's just as much an expression of strong emotion as the rest of their albums#idk. i just don't vibe with Mean Spirited Hostility towards like. really honest pieces of art and pain.#critique the simplicity of damocles all you want! be as not into the sound of caramel as you want! but being a dick is just like#lame. lmao.
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BPD is really fucking hard. what you go through to get it is hard. its so exhausting. we have to deal with something so intense and exhausting. but if you're reading this, (and you have BPD), its not you. your mental illness is not you. its not your choice. it doesnt make you a bad person. it doesnt make you unlovable. you're not choosing to be this way or feel or think these things. you already went through so much and its so unbelievably unfair that you now have to deal with this too. its not fair, but to all of you who are cursed with the same thing as me: im proud of you. each and every one of you. just for being here. for existing. no exceptions. we deal with some of the hardest shit. im proud of you.
#i dont think this will reach anyone so it may look silly but i couldnt find any positivity in the tag and i think you all deserve it...#we're suffering and i know how hard it is i feel it all the time. that level of grief and anger and pain. i understand. its not fair#bpd#borderline personality disorder
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Every time I see anything now from Good Will Hunting... I think about Beard and Jamie. 
AS YOU SHOULD
#the it’s not your fault scene is peak beard and jamie#bc the core of the scene is that sean also went through abuse so he understands will’s pain and situation#other people in the movie make assumptions for will but sean KNOWS what it’s like#do you have any…experience with that?#like….#i personally think it reads better with beard than ted because ted Doesn’t understand jamie/james the same way#they just have a different level of understanding#THIS ISNT ME SAYING TED ISNT TRAUMATIZED. HE IS.#but his trauma is not the same as jamie’s…and beard personally reads to me as a fellow abuse survivor#does not mean Ted’s not traumatized
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ourtubahero-blog replied to your post “Full three minute-long clip of David on the…”
@ingravinoveritas I just wish they could express their love for one another out in the open. It’s so obvious that they want to.
You and me both. I’ve always said that I could be totally wrong about there being something between Michael and David and that I’d gladly acknowledge it if I am...but hearing David on this podcast was just so moving and seemed to solidify certain things.
We know Michael has been a fierce advocate for the LGBTQ+ community for years (his tweets on Twitter both before but especially since the first season of GO came out, including helping to pay for a trans fan’s gender confirmation surgery). He has also not ever really made a secret of his own leanings, talking specifically about his attractions to men on multiple occasions.
But David. David, who has always been so private, and who I have no doubt has quietly supported the LGBTQ+ community for years, suddenly becoming so vocal and so much louder speaks volumes. Of course, we know that a large part of this is due to Wilf identifying as nonbinary, but I feel like something in David has shifted because of seeing this all through his child’s eyes. That it is personal, that it is bringing him back to his own growing up and the things he’s talked about, like being afraid of being seen as a sissy for wanting a DW Leela doll, and it’s bringing out a side of him he’s kept hidden for so long. And now, maybe, that side of him finally feels free, feels like it can be open and honest instead of ashamed.
And if that is the case--if something in David has shifted and he feels so much more comfortable with being vulnerable about himself and so open--then I truly do hope he and Michael will have the chance to express their love for each other, if that is what they both want. Because it’s something we can all see so clearly, and love--in whatever form it comes and whatever time, no matter how unanticipated--is a beautiful thing. And it’s worth celebrating...
#ourtubahero-blog#reply post#david tennant#soft scottish hipster gigolo#michael sheen#welsh seduction machine#reasons to be cheerful#podcast#i love them#and i love that they love each other#a friendship that's become something more#David and Michael are both tremendous LGBTQ+ allies#but i think they understand that pain on a personal level#david is lowkey bi and michael is highkey bi#happy pride month indeed#ineffable lovers#discourse
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I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:
So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.
In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.
At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.
And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.
Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.
If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.
We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:
So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.
Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."
So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.
However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.
Isn't that the same thing?
No, no it very much is not.
Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:
Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.
But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.
If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.
Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.
Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.
Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.
We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.
And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.
So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.
It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.
And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:
Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.
And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.
We see her choose to come back to life.
And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:
Do you want to eat more?
There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.
When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.
But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.
And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.
It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#falin touden#dunmeshi analysis#I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you#and the way you are because of it isn’t anything to be ashamed of#but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living.#and you can#dungeon meshi spoilers
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I didn’t need to feel like an awful person for not being amazing at video game this morning
#I need people to understand that when you sign up to play a multiplayer game you are signing up to play with people who are worse than you#it’s not just the fun of people who are good that matters#I should not be forced to stress myself out to physically painful levels because everybody else thinks going at a pace that’s possible for#me is boring#I need ffxiv to introduce duty support for everything so I can never interact with a real person again#like I love the game but I hate feeling like I deserve cruelty for being slow to notice things and having difficulty interpreting things#and I can’t really quit bc I have a house and am in an FC
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best friend's older sister!sevika headcanons pt. 2
contains: modern!au, nsfw content (so minors/ageless blogs dni!!), cursing, reader is mentioned to have family issues, hcs + blurbs set pre-confession and post-confession, mention of spanking, strap-on sex (reader receiving), breeding kink, dirty talk, degrading (the word "slut" is used), humiliation kink, sevika physically teasing reader at family dinner, mention of smoking, reader's body is referred to w the terms "pussy" and "clit"
pt. 1
best friend's older sister!sevika who pauses outside her door when she hears the muffled noises of your crying, followed by her sister's voice. her eyebrows immediately draw in concern, stomach turning as possibilities run through her mind. you mentioned having an exam earlier this week -- did you fail it? was someone bothering you? did you need her to do anything?
when her sister's in the shower, she knocks quietly on the door, your call of, "yeah?" pushing her to enter.
once she does, her eyes immediately scan your face, looking for signs of distress. when she finds your eyes pink and glossy, a bolt of nervousness shoots through her, taking her off guard for a second.
once she swallows down the feeling, she tilts her head at you, leaning on the frame. "all okay?" she asks, trying to keep her voice levelled, not wanting to reveal just how much worry is stirring within.
"yeah." your mouth is twisted in something resembling pain, and she eyes you carefully as you sit up in the bed. "it's just, you know, family stuff."
she nods. she understands that, alright. most people would think that being the older of the two, she'd fight with her father less than her little sister, but the truth is that out of everyone in her house, they butt heads more than anyone else. she usually shrugs it off when anyone asks, with her most popular coping mechanism being fuming in her bedroom with a cigar while heavy music blankets over all her thoughts. probably not the healthiest way to react, but it's worked for this long. besides, she doesn't have the patience to sit at a desk and do that journalling bullshit her sister always prattles on about.
"sorry." she contemplates for a few moments on what else she could say to help, rocking on the balls of her sock-clad feet. all she comes up with is, "families suck," silently berating herself for being so incompetent.
but, at least you laugh, the noise a bit breathless, so sevika takes pride in that. "yeah, that's the understatement of the century."
"do you wanna, I don't know, talk about it?" just to ease the weight of the question, she mutters, "you know, I'm pretty good at belting insults at anyone who deserves it."
"oh, yes, I'm sure of it." you nod at the wall where the shower can be heard from. "she's told me how vicious you were in middle school."
she bristles, feeling her stomach tighten in embarrassment. she was a little asshole, alright, and she can't lie, her younger sister bore the brunt of it. something she secretly regrets now -- not that she'd ever admit to it. she probably never would've revealed it you in the first place if not for her sister ratting her out.
"well, I-- that was middle school. I'm not like that now."
your eyebrow raises, lips tilting up. "you know, some people would argue that who you are as a kid shows what kind of person you are at the core of it."
she scoffs. "who, freud? considering the other stuff I've heard about that guy, I think I'll pass on believing that bullshit."
"oh, c'mon, I can tell you all the merits about his theories."
"and while that sounds riveting, I guess, I'd prefer knowing if you... you know, need anything?" she shrugs, her eyes trained on you.
you smile softly, the corners of your lips crinkling. "thank you. I don't feel like talking about it much now, but I appreciate it a lot."
she nods, rasping on the doorframe, unsure as to how to proceed now.
"huh, someone's not really used to this."
she rolls her eyes, sending you a half-hearted glare. "oh, shut up."
best friend's older sister!sevika whose attention towards you is beginning to become obvious, even for you. she's started seeking you out instead of any of your other friends when she's looking for her sister, and when she enters the room, her eyes always flicker to you immediately. it makes you feel like a spotlight is casted upon you, your entire body, your entire being, reserved for sevika.
one day, one of the girls in your group leans over to you, her tone lowered with conspiracy. "you know, I think sevika has a thing for you."
your best friend groans, smacking her arm. "god, please! that's my sister, for god's sake."
"and? she's hot?"
her face morphs into complete disgust, eyes squeezing shut. "please, that's so fucking gross."
while you laugh along with the conversation, you can't help but warily glance to your best friend, mind whirring with thoughts of whether or not she's being earnest. you and sevika aren't, well, anything really -- at least not anything officially declared or acted upon. for months, it's just been tosses and back-and-forths of teasing and flirting. but, there has been no step over the threshold that divides you two between nameless, vague chemistry and the agreement to work towards a real relationship.
but, still, there is something there, and you cradle a hope in your chest that it'll turn into more one day, an actual thing that can be named. but, it's hard to feel positive about that outcome when you're not even certain if your best friend would approve or feel comfortable.
she meets your pondering stare, and you immediately backtrack, turning away so she can't read what's on your face.
a moment later, her palm rests on your knee and she laughs, tone as casual as ever when she says, "honestly, if anyone could tame her, it's you."
your lips part in shock, but she simply squeezes down gently before carrying on with the conversation.
best friend's older sister!sevika who pretty much wants to wring her cousin's neck out when she spots her conversing with you. well, it's not the conversing that's the problem -- she's not that crazy. or at least, she pretends not to be.
it's the fact that she knows her cousin hits on every one of her and her sister's friends, and she's clearly doing that with you right now, eyes half-lidded and voice lowered to what sevika hopes sounds more like darth vader than sexy to you. god, she nearly wants to kill her sister for being stupid enough to leave you alone with her. but, judging from her sister's shit-eating grin from where she stands at the food table, sevika suspects that it was intentional.
she tries not to crush her plastic red cup in her hand and send her vodka-spiked punch spilling everywhere. when her sister had casually mentioned last night that you'd be showing up to this family barbecue, sevika, much to her own embarrassment, had felt an immediate buzz of anticipation at knowing you'd be there. it's stupid, she knows. she's a grown ass woman, not some teenager -- yet, there she was, biting back a smile as she walked up the flight of stairs back to her bedroom. and when she reached her destination, she could barely focus, her thoughts straying to how she'll get a rise out of you rather than remaining on the toy she was meant to be building for the kid she babysits, isha.
she couldn't lie to herself about it. she was goddamn excited.
if only she had known how the day would wind up. it's nearing to late afternoon, and still, she hasn't spoken to you once. as soon as you and her sister had reached, the two of you had met with your usual gaggle of girls. and sevika hadn't been in the mood to entertain their giggles and leering stares upon coming to get you from them. and so, she waited. and then, you were dragged off to talk to her sister's favourite cousins, and then, to the idiot you're currently speaking to. a few minutes into what sevika hopes is a cringe-inducing conversation, her sister had left you to go to the food table.
she knows she has no reason to be jealous of her cousin. after all, look at the dimwit, she barely has game. she's so flashy with it, no subtlety. if you weren't the object of her cousin's attention, she might've actually taken some amusement in watching from afar.
but, no, it just had to be you. she can't even blame her cousin -- after all, you do look damn good, that's for certain. if this wasn't a family event, she'd be dragging you to the nearest corner, pushing you against the wall, and teasing you until you're a squirming little mess. god, she's just throbbing at the idea of it.
but, the feeling gets washed over with ice when her dumb cousin starts stroking her knuckles against your arm. stupid kid. and why are you smiling at her? do you not realize she's flirting? do you like that she's flirting? oh, now that thought leaves a sour taste in her mouth.
her composure snaps when she sees you laugh, and with a firm toss of her cup in the nearest garbage bag, she calmly makes her way to you. she knows she ought to be better than this. she should be the one with sense, with rationality -- the one who keeps her shit together while you become a fumbling mess whose feelings might as well be written on your forehead. that should be you. not her.
but, it's like her mind is working on overdrive, all her instincts honed in on making sure she takes you away and has you all to herself.
when she slides next to you two, your jump in surprise, looking up at her. her eyes rove over your features, drinking you in, wondering momentarily if you even realize how crazy you drive her.
"hey, sev, are you looking for your sister? because she's--"
"no," she cuts in, her palm bracing against the small of your back. "give us a sec."
"wha-- but, I--"
sevika doesn't give her cousin a moment to protest, firmly guiding you away to the front of her house, which has been left secluded now that people are eating in the backyard.
when you stumble into her back from her sudden halt, you blow out a frustrated puff of air. "what the hell was that?"
she feels her thick, dark eyebrows furrow, her gaze casted down on you, unwavering and focused. "I should be asking you that. why were you talking to her?"
"your sister left me with her!" you protest, your voice raising a pitch she'd find cuter if it weren't for the sour taste in her mouth.
"and? that makes you incapable of leaving a conversation afterwards?"
your eye twitches. "and why should I have left the conversation?"
sevika swallows, feeling her throat bob with the movement. if she acts like some jealous girlfriend, it'll be all too clear what it is she feels. and that's a bit too exposing for her. sure, you two flirt and push-and-pull, but it's something she could easily pass as a game if ever needed be. but, jealousy, disliking you talking to someone other than her? that's way too obvious, and there's no way of covering that up.
so, she takes a different route. "you know, if you're gonna be hitting on someone at this thing, it should be--"
"you?"
she nearly splutters, blinking hard at your growing smirk before continuing. "no. it should be someone other than the fuckboy-wanna-be relative who hits on anything with a pair of nice legs and pretty eyes."
your smile only widens and sevika has the sudden urge to bend you over her lap until you're a sobbing mess.
"so, you think I have nice legs and pretty eyes?"
"are you dense? how is that what you focus on?" despite the harsh undertone of her words, she can feel her body stiffening up under your watchful gaze, desperately hoping you don't realize just how badly she wants your attention. it feels pathetic, really, to be putting up a fit like this because just you spoke to someone flirtatious other than her. shit, she needs to save some face.
"yeah, because I think it's weird how you're dictating who I can speak to as though you're my girlfriend or something!"
"that's not how I'm acting--"
"yes, it is!" you scoff, stalking up to her and pointing a finger against her chest, the contact making her jerk back from the spark it leaves. "you wouldn't be this pissed if it was just about concern."
she's silent for a few seconds, her mind running through possible comebacks. the only one she can think of is a hard, "you don't know that."
you tilt your head at her, as though she's some kid in need of a scolding. it only exacerbates her frustration, causing it to flare up low in her gut. "well, if it's just about you being concerned, then let me continue talking to her. you warned me, I took it in stride, and if things go wrong, you can always rub it in my face late, okay?"
she sighs, beginning to regret having ever acted out now that this is the turn the situation is taking. you were supposed to take her words in, and do as she says. instead, you're arguing back, just like you always do. but, she knows that at this point, she'd be a hypocrite to complain about it. she knows it's why she likes you.
"you really want that?"
you cross your arms over your chest, and sevika tries not to let her eyes stray downwards. "is there a reason why I shouldn't?"
stupid mind games. sometimes, she hated being gay because of this.
she likes you, sure, but she doesn't have the patience to beat around the bush. which she's aware is hypocritical and stupid, considering that's what she's been doing this entire conversation. but, still.
so, she shrugs. "beats me."
your eyes flash with something, jaw clenching. sevika can't tell if it's a look of determination or anger.
but, what does it matter if you're spinning around to stomp back into the backyard?
she releases an exasperated breath, fishing for her cigarettes.
best friend's older sister!sevika whose voice makes you jump when you're stirring instant noodles in a frothy pot of water later that night.
"jesus, sevika!" you gasp, your other hand flying to clutch your chest. "what the fuck are you doing here?"
"it's my house, remember?" she dryly remarks, padding over to the fridge and grabbing a carton of milk. pinching the flap open, she drinks straight from it. you'd find it gross if it weren't for the way her lips wrap around the soggy cardboard material, the muscles of her neck protruding as she gulps it down.
when she bends down to put it back, you turn away, your stomach churning from how any bit of laughter is totally drained from her voice, leaving it flat and achingly unfamiliar.
you've felt guilty since the barbecue. sure, it's annoying that she makes demands of you without actually admitting her feelings. but, it's clear that she was upset in that moment. so, maybe you should've been a tad nicer.
"uh, sevika?" you meekly call out right as she's about to exit the kitchen.
she freezes in the entryway, casting you a sidelong glance over her shoulder, which is pinched from the strap of her tight tank top. god, you wanna kiss the indent it leaves.
"I..." you trail off, shifting side to side on your feet, the low bubbling of the water the only noise filling the room. you don't know what's too much or too little, so you mull over your words before tentatively saying, "you know, I'm not interested in your cousin. like, at all. I had no intention of flirting back with her, or, like, pursuing something with her."
she's silent for a few seconds, her eyes flicking away as her jaw tenses, which sends her cheeks hollowing out. you stare at her for a few seconds before focusing your attention back to stirring the noodles, needing something to occupy your thoughts other than the thick, stifling tension seizing the air.
finally, she speaks, her voice low but firm with surety. "well, I didn't want you to flirt with her... for reasons other than what I said."
your stomach tightens up in anxious, gut-wrenching excitement, forcing your mouth to remain in a clenched line. you know this isn't exactly a confession, but it's unspoken between you two -- what she means, that is. there could only be one reason other than concern that would explain how protective she was earlier. a reason that, sure, you're not certain about regarding the details or her intentions, but that nonetheless has you feeling like you could jump with the amount of energy surging through you at the mention of it. no matter how vague.
you can sense she won't say anymore, though, her body rigid with tension. so, to try to lighten the mood, your own body sagging in relief now that you two have somewhat made amends, you drawl out, "yeah, that much was clear."
she snickers, turning fully to you and propping her arm on the door frame. you expect her to give her own retort, but instead, she just... watches you. smirk slowly curling on her face, eyes crinkling in amusement, she simply stares at you.
after a few moments of feeling like the side of your head is burning from her razor-sharp gaze, you say, "what?"
the corner of her mouth quirks up further. "for someone who says it was obvious, that was a pretty big grin you had on your face just now."
you huff indignantly, ducking you head down to the noodles in order to avoid getting caught in your flustered state. "well, I'm just grinning because my noodles are almost done."
she peers at the time flashing over the stove before shaking her head and grimacing at the pot. "why are you even eating this crap at 2:00AM? we have actual food in the fridge."
"I was craving this," you defend with a squeak, shooting her what you pray is a convincing glare despite your heart racing from her earlier words. "besides, I didn't know if your family would be having the leftovers."
"don't be stupid," she chides gruffly. after a pause, she adds, "you know you're family."
this time, you can't resist the beam that overtakes your face, eyes squeezing in delight as your cheeks throb pleasantly from the joy embracing you. you've, of course, heard this sentiment from your best friend plenty of times before, but never from sevika.
"thanks," you murmur feebly, sending her a small, bash smile.
she simply nods in return, her lips pressing together as she continues observing you.
part of you basks under it. the attention of her focused grey eyes, the heavy weight of her gaze -- it all sends a thrill to you that's hot and burning, making you feel you're being revived from a lifelong slumber. how did you ever manage without the life-altering feeling which is sevika's gaze directed to you?
"so, I guess I should head up," she says, sticking a thumb behind her.
your body immediately tenses in protest. she can't leave -- not like this, not after this tender moment you two just shared. not when her presence here holds the contrast of warm assurance and ice-cold surprise that you're always craving.
a loud "no!" bursts from your lip as she's just about to turn.
when she sends you an inquisitive stare, forehead wrinkled in confusion, you feel your face heat up in embarrassment over your over-eagerness. but, it's too late to scale back, so you force yourself to proceed with, "I just-- why don't we hang out a bit? maybe watch gilmore girls. and, I don't know, share the noodles and, well, left overs."
her eyes widen, lips parting in surprise, and it almost makes you want to cackle. how could she even be surprised you want to spend time with her? are you just that good at hiding your want for her, or is she that romantically dense?
"um, yeah, okay," she says, a hand curving up along the back of her neck. "but, don't think I'll eat that crap you're making."
your shoulders ease at the joke, laughing as you wag your wooden spoon at her. "it's good, okay? I don't know why you'd deprive yourself of it."
"if I didn't deprive myself, I wouldn't have these." she flexes her bicep, and you try not to let your gaze roam over the toned muscle bulging out. no need to satisfy her that much. "and wouldn't that be a pity for you?"
you bristle, but still find yourself unable to quell the laughter that bubbles up your throat. "fuck off. my life isn't so sad that your muscles are my sanctuary."
"fair point -- maybe 'religion' is a better term."
ugh, her grin is infuriatingly coy as she heads back to the fridge, pulling out a tupperware, her veins bulging out as she grips it.
you want to fuck her so bad. and then, yell at her. and then, fuck her again.
"just, shut up and heat up the leftovers," you grumble, turning your back to her as her laugh, hearty and scratchy in all the right ways, flows from her lips.
honestly, the lack of eye contact is for both of your guys' benefit. god knows how you'll react if you see that cute gap again.
best friend's older sister!sevika who, after you two start dating, places her long fingers on your thigh when you join her family for dinner. she knows it's a bit evil of her, but she can't help it. your body is just so reactive -- a fact that she was delighted to learn upon your first time sleeping together. it just makes it so much fun to toy with you like this.
your leg immediately flinches when her fingernails skim along your skin, and she'd probably smile if she wasn't so well-trained in public play to know exactly how to keep a straight face.
but, you? she knows you're struggling. she can feel it in the way you shift in your seat, shoulders rolling as her warm palm flattens against your skin, her fingers sinking into the plush of your thigh. or how your body suddenly lurches forward when she suddenly pinches her nails into the skin, causing everyone at the table to dart concerned glances your way.
you sheepishly laugh it off, shaking your head and saying, "sorry, I, um-- I just got a weird shiver."
sevika honestly feels impressed that you're able to keep your cool this well, glancing at you with a raised eyebrow. she knows it probably goes against the whole supportive girlfriend thing, but seeing you manage to remain calm only makes her want to test you even more.
and so, she inches her fingers up so that they smooth along the tender skin of your inner thigh. you immediately stiffen up, your back straightening to an almost comedic right angle. sevika's mouth twists, trying to hold in a chuckle at how you writhe when her blunt nails begin to trace shapes into the hot patch of skin. god, she wants to dip her fingers in further, feel the tight heat of your pussy wrap around her digit as she pumps it in and out of you.
she clears her own throat to cut off her breaths from getting too shallow. god, she needs a cold shower or some shit. plus, the entire point was to get you hot and bothered, not her.
trying to gather her bearings, she presses her fingers into the sensitive area, slightly digging in the curves of her nails, trying to replicate she sharp sting you feel when she sinks her teeth into that spot before eating you out.
it seems se's successful, based on the way your legs shift again, pressing together and trapping her hand there. and your cute face is noticeably distracted, expression glazed over, lips hanging open.
when your fingers curl around her wrist, keeping her hand there, she smirks behind the rim of her glass, taking a careful sip before wrenching her hand free from your grip, continuing with her meal.
through the animated conversation her sister and old man are having, she can hear you grunt in frustration.
but, she doesn't even turn to you. after all, what would be the fun if she just gave you what you wanted?
best friend's older sister!sevika who shakes you from your deep sleep when you're curled up on the mattress in her living room, your best friend fast asleep on the couch. before you can mumble incoherently, your eyes barely making out her broad frame through the sleep-tinged blur, she presses a finger to your mouth, quietly shushing you.
you nod, your heavy eyes blinking rapidly to register what's going on. but, you can barely get a whisper in before sevika scoops you up, her strong arms easily carrying you up the stairs to her bedroom. you have to bite back a gasp at the sudden manhandling, though a spike of arousal zips through you from how easily she takes you to her bedroom, dropping you unceremoniously onto her navy blankets.
you frown at her, eyes sharpened into a glare. "sevika, wha--"
she plants her lips on you, crawling on top of you and pinning your body to the bed with hers. she's sloppy and ungraceful with it, shoving her tongue into your mouth and swirling it around yours as a hand slides up to loosely grip your throat.
"you didn't think I'd leave you hanging, did you?" she mumbles against your lips, her hand drifting down your body to start fiddling with the waistband of your pajama shorts.
"well, you already did once, so I wouldn't be surprised if it happened again," you murmur against her prodding mouth, trying to keep your voice dignified in light of all the pants and whines beginning to crawl up your throat.
"awe, c'mon, baby," she snickers, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to your cheek while the rest of you practically combusts from the low, scolding tone she takes when calling you that. "even I have my limits."
and, oh, how fucking good it feels for sevika's limits to be broken, you think as she pounds into you with her dark purple strap-on, her hand over your mouth as she pumps her hips steadily, hissing whenever her bed frame bumps too loudly against the wall.
you wrap your legs around her, nails raking up her back as the toy plunges into you over and over again, stretching your walls taut. it feels good, so good, the dull ache of her nearly-too-big dildo making your entire pussy throb in a way that makes you feel impossibly full.
"listen to that," she whispers against your ear, the hot moist of her breath making you break out into shivers. "your pussy is soaking my new sheets. such a mess you're making."
god, you just leak even more from those words, the mix of your juices and the lube creating deliciously loud squelching noises in her room, only growing more pointed and firm when she begins to drill particularly hard, intentional thrusts into you. the movements have the bulb her of dick pushing against your g-spot with every rock of her body, and it sends a warm tingle through you, wrapping your nerves in pleasure and sparking them to life.
you whine against her hand, eyes rolling back when her cold, mechanical finger begins to flick along your clit. the cool, steel-hard texture of it against your swollen little nub has your body arching up, each brush and flick feeling so heightened through all the other sensations running through you.
"yeah," she chuckles darkly, grazing her teeth along your earlobe. "you like that, don't you? getting this pussy slutted out, having me fucking up your guts and making room for my babies?"
your hips jolt up at those words, a loud whine erupting from your mouth before you can stop it. sevika hisses at it, pressing her mouth to yours, her thighs smacking against yours as she continues drilling you into her mattress.
"be quiet," she rasps, her breaths shattering into uneven little pants. "you want everyone in this house to know what a slut you are? you want everyone to know you couldn't last a night in here without getting dicked down by your best friend's sister?"
you can barely respond, your entire body set aflame with the pleasure of her on top of you, surrounding you with nothing but warm skin, hard muscle and filthy, nasty little noises.
"ah," you moan quietly against her mouth, fingers tracing the indents your nails have left in her back. "feels s'good, I just-- I can't--"
"I know, baby, I know," she grunts, fingers wrapping around your jaw and shaking your face like you're her personal doll. "no need to worry your pretty head with talking, yeah? just be good and let me cream this pussy."
and so, you do. over and over and over again.
best friend's older sister!sevika who tries not to smirk too hard when her sister asks over breakfast why you're wearing a turtleneck in the middle of july.
#IK Y'ALL HAVE BEEN WANTING A PT. 2 SO I'M SOOOO PUMPED TO POST THIS <333#as usual pls pls let me know what you guys thought!!! even if it's just a line you liked or just a basic concept you enjoyed I wanna know!!#it makes super happy to know what you guys think mwah mwah#s.writing#sevika arcane#sevika x reader#sevika x you#arcane x reader#arcane x you
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❝𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐚𝐧𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲.❞
What makes your future lover horny around you? (Detailed)



Masterlist.
Authors note,
Finding matching dividers and photos were a nightmare, unfortunately, but I also deeply missed my old theme.
Divider.
Pile 01.
“You’re such a sweetheart, I wish I knew you before. I wish I waited for you instead of being in a relationship with her. I wished..” There are a lot of wishes from your future person and a lot of regrets from their past relationship. A lot of pain surrounds their heart, yet when it comes to you, their mind is crystal clear, and they know they are with the right person. You make them feel okay and safe and helped them understand their own emotions. A lot of healed energy and open-minded individuals here. I hear a lot of thanks from them; you also helped them realize their sexuality, yet you do not feel disgusted by them. A lot of them met close-minded individuals, and their minds have been accustomed to feeling ashamed and fearful about who they really are. You are their safe haven.
Now, what makes your future spouse horny around you? A lot of things, they’re so romantically beautiful that my heart is fluttering for you. An immense feeling of serenity flows through me.
The way you speak to them, you are always calm around them, and you speak/ooze elegance. Their hearts flutter, and this usually turns them on.
The way you command others to notice you, whether it is intentionally or not. You make others notice you so easily, which is also how you make your fp notice you or how your fp has noticed you.
I see a scene where someone is wearing something that shines and makes others notice it. The outfit is your aesthetic; it doesn’t matter what it is. The vibe is this dark blue hue mixed with a saturated gray, but there is a spotlight on them. Everyone is watching their every move and cannot get enough of them. There are other socialites in this scene, yet everyone needs to notice this person. This is your energy, you steal others' spotlight, thus doing the same with your fp. Your dominant energy turns your fp on like a madman, and I can hear them masturbating while muttering your name.
Your word choices, your fp sees you full of richness. Your vocabulary is broad, and they think your intelligence is on another level. I see you saying filthy words to them during sex in a romanticized language, or your native language, and this is their killer. Their heart will beat like crazy, they will become sweaty and become aroused on the spot. Some will literally orgasm on the spot depending on their sex drive and yours (so this varies).
This may seem normal to you, but to them this is.. Not sure how to explain it, but it is something else. Your healing nature is their turn on. So, as mentioned, their ex messed them up and there was a lot of toxic energy surrounding them with her (yes, regardless of their gender), but with you—it’s very healthy and romantic. For some reason (their words), it turns them on a lot. You could be setting up a boundary and explaining why, and their mind drifts to fucking you endlessly. Then they have to remind themselves to listen, and they will—every little word that comes from your mouth, the detail of where they are, every movement of yours, but ultimately go back to those thoughts. Again, this also comes back to your presence and how you make everyone drawn to you effortlessly.
During sex, you tend to squirm around the person you make out with spontaneously, just something your body has been doing forever. For them, they find it adorable and cannot get enough of it. Some of you feel insecure about it, but you shouldn’t because it is one of their favorites. Now, it doesn’t necessarily turn them on, but it plays a part in your presence. Addictive is what pops into mind.
Seriously, your presence is incredible, so healing and nurturing and your presence itself is going to bring so many suitors into your life that you may feel overwhelmed. So make sure to tend to yourself and distance from energy vampires that will appear as your future lover; do not ignore your gut feeling or intuition around certain people despite how others speak kindly about them. Not everything meets the eye.
Your hardworking ability and determination are one of their turn ons. They have or will speak about this to their mother, hiding parts of their fantasy of you fucking them/pegging them endlessly while using a tie around their neck to control them but also choke them. A lot of rough fantasies, but aside from this. They adore how you work so hard to get what you want instead of projecting envious energy onto others and being bitter. Once again, this is normal for you, but for them and others around you, it is so refreshing. Also, they will peek around when you are working and admire your body and hope that you will not see them despite you knowing they are and accentuating your body for their eyes.
Channeled song:
Climax - Djo
✮ Masterlist.
Pile 02.
With how you make them smile instantly. They have a rough and biker type of personality. Very heartwarming and soft with the right person yet so gruff. With you though, they are able to let loose, which makes it easier for them to show that they do become aroused by you. They have had instances where they could not or were not allowed by people they used to know. They have never been in a relationship, which has resulted in them being bitter, so do expect rough sex from time to time. I do find it ironic with how they have never had sex before, but you do teach them everything you know and they are able to adapt to the details and your body movement.
You are an unbothered person and very laid back. They are someone who will overthink and let their insecurities interfere with their words, so sometimes they will try to assert their ‘dominance’ with you. The reality is: they want you to dominate them despite what they are actually saying. They have a lot of bratty energy, or scared bratty energy. Your unbothered personality turns them on and will make them realize they like being dominated, but it also pisses them off since they are used to others being intimidated by them and cowering away.
They will become turned on by how you always wear something sexy or any type of accessory that is appealing to the male’s gaze, regardless of your and their gender. Something about them gets them going, and they will let you step on them, both metaphorically and physically.
I see an image where someone is wearing red heels and clear stockings holding a baton as their lover's hands are tied with their used stocking after they came. And their lover is begging for them to touch them, but the person will not. The lover's main focus is their high heel as the image zooms onto it. Your fp main focus will be that sexy outfit or accessory whenever they can get their hands on you or if you are taking control. I feel a lot of vers energy despite you being prone to take the bottom role. I see them encouraging you and making you feel confident too.
This isn’t something that turns them on, but it is necessary for me to say. They love your legs. A lot of you feel insecure about it, and some of you feel shameful for not shaving your legs’ hair, but mind you, they will be worshiping your mind no matter what. If you were to insult them or your leg, expect them to drag you anywhere and kiss them so hard in an attempt to make a hickey but for it to fail miserably.
Your tongue skills are to die for. The second you even mention oral to them, they will be aroused, and their heart will start to race like heartburn. Overwhelming sensations will drape around their body and make them into a mummy. This only comes down to when you do give them oral, as they will be your sucker. You could even bribe them or give a peace offering for oral and you will receive instant obliviousness or forgiveness. But they do know that it is their weakness, so they won’t be bothered or insulted by it. I see the both of you using this as a tease or a joke with others (when they become comfortable with the idea).
I mentioned how they will worship you and have bratty energy, but I also feel toxic alpha energy. The meaning fits their personality when you meet and get to know one another but it is hidden perfectly. You will notice it and some of you will brush it off. They grew up in a toxic environment where toxic masculinity and misogynistic traits were normalized for them, and they believe it is their duty to do everything without getting help from anyone, hence the gruffness in their lovely personality. There are a lot of internalized misogynistic traits with them that they may project onto you, so when they do ask you out, make them wait for you for a few months or 1-2 years (depending on your gut feeling) and call them out for their behavior because it will be a toxic relationship if you do not. Calling them out makes them change for the better, so you can actually see the lovely personality I spoke of.
If you do make them wait, the relationship will blossom into something pretty.. Like a sakura tree. Their energy after they heal and are with you is so enchanting and soothing, it makes you desire to sit at a pond and read a book with one another while gazing at the clouds passing by. The breeze brushes on your skin, leaving a subtle chill, and their gaze from your body to your lips as you speak will send shivers both on your body. Their respectful movements with you will make you melt..
I could write a book on how beautiful the relationship will become, but that is for you to find out and for me to know.
Channeled songs:
She calls me daddy - KiNG MALA
Sweet but psycho - Ava Max
✮ Masterlist.
Pile 03.
How many people do you have chasing after you? Your sex appeal is off the roof; I see so many people similar to a zombie horde chasing after you and begging you for your attention; the same goes for your fp. Some of you do manifestation techniques and affirm for sex appeal beauty, something about being sexy or being a queen/god, and an aura that draws people in and it’s working. This is how you will attract your fp. Some of you have met them and you know it’s them because you manifested them, and for those that haven't, they will come to you in April, May, June, or if you start to see things that have ‘’mars,’’ you are close.
Now, what makes your fp horny around you?
They become aroused when you are boastful, cocky, and straight up arrogant. They remind me of a puppy, always following their owner, no matter what and always needing them.
You have a seductive walk, you move and walk like a serpent. It’s silent, smooth, and confident, but you have this movement that draws its prey to you. I cannot explain the energy I am feeling, but I know that you know what I mean because you have been affirming it.
You wear a lot of red and gold, red lipsticks, red eye shadow, gold suits, dark red suits, dresses that show a lot of skin, etc. You ooze the definition of sex appeal, and your fp sees it for themselves, and they desire for you to tie them up with red chains into your prey to devour.
Is snakes your favorite or something you feel connected to? Your energy fits a snake in the best and worst ways. Meaning, you’re cunning as one but tantalizing as their eyes. You seriously pull people in, and I feel hypnotized as I do your reading. Your energy is secretive as a snake, but so open as the inside of their body when consuming their prey. You’re going to hypnotize them so well, and it happens accidentally. In that moment, you forget about your affirmations and techniques and meet them, even if you have met them (but you already knew that because it feels natural for you).
The way you move during sex. Your body movement is slow and smooth; your moves are sensual, as if you were a dancer for centuries. It reminds me of Egyptian belly dancers and their pharaoh would watch and enjoy. Your beauty and moves make them so horny that if you blew on their sensitive spot, they would instantly squirt.
You’re a secretive person, and you tell them small things about yourself, and they are itching for more. But the thing that turns them on is how you describe your past experiences, the words you use.. It is not meant to be suggestive, yet it is.
Your tongue movement. You either lick your teeth sensually, flick your tongue, nibble or bite your lips, or do all of them and play with your hair in a subtle movement to make them notice you when they are busy with something. This catches their attention so fast and they will feel hot and bothered.
Lap dances are your specialty, and if not now, in the future it will be because you wanted to tease them and be mischievous. Your lap dances compared to their last experiences always make them cum.. And it won’t even be 10 minutes in. And you will chuckle at them and play with their hair, and their cheeks will become so flushed they squirt.
There are so many things you will do that make your fp horny, but I have to stop it here because your energy is so strong that I felt like a sailor and you were the sirens singing to me and I was about to drown—I cannot write anymore (omg). Some of you have been manifesting for the ones I have written, and now that you have seen it, congratulations on your dedication and consistency for your desires. And to your fp, good luck to them because your energy—whew.
Channeled song:
APT - ROSÉ and Bruno Mars
✮ Masterlist.
#pick a card#love reading#pac reading#tarot witch#tarot reading#pac tarot#pick a picture#pick a photo#pick a pile#18+ tarot#free tarot readings#collective reading#tarot community#channeled message#pick a pile reading#tarotcommunity#pick an image#pick a number#channel messages#pick a card reading#pick a photo reading#pick a image reading#reading#tarot card#free tarot reading#free readings#free intuitive readings#future reading#intution#intutive
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The Wolverine and His Bunny || Logan Howlett x Bunny Girl!Reader
summary: You and Logan have always butted heads and his constant, condescending reminders of your mutation don't help. It's not until your forced to train together and well, the tension is undeniable
warnings: MINORS DNI, SMUT, 18+ ONLY, fem!reader, rough sex, a variety of bunny themed nicknames (Bunny, thumper, carrots), creampie, manhandling, pain kink (Logan), doggy style, dirty talk, blow job, mirror sex, slight choking, degradation, praise, he plays with your bunny ears oops, enemies to lovers kinda? Logan's a dick at first, teasing, being pinned down.
Don't like it don't read it :)
Halloween Masterlist
wc: 3.7k
a/n: Okay look, I thought this was hot and so I wrote it. Anyways happy October first everyone! Hoping to add my degeneracy to the long list of fics to come. This also ended up being more. angsty than i mean it to be. I think I have an angst problem oops
You hated him so much. He was. He was just a massive dick for no reason and you hated people like that. You get that he was the all mighty Wolverine who was indestructible or whatever but if he could act like a normal person for once in his life that would be great.
He wasn't even the leader of the damn team and yet every one seemed to act like he walked on fucking water. It's not like he was the only one on the team either. He may tell everyone he's a loner and he doesn't need help but we're the X-Men. Not just Wolverine.
It's just not fair.
You had the perfect plan. Planned down to the very second and Logan had to go and fuck it all up. Maybe it was an honest mistake but you highly doubted it. He always had a problem with you. You didn't understand why. The moment you showed up to the mansion he was hostile. Calling you stupid, condescending nicknames because of your mutation while ignoring the part of it that made you super smart.
You were fuming when the team got back from the mission. You stormed right past everyone to get to Logan. They shoot you apologetic looks but you paid them no mind.
"Logan!"
"What's got your panties in a twist bunny?" He leans against the jet hangar door. A cigar already lit in his mouth.
"Don't call me that asshole!" You shove his chest but he doesn't move. Your nose twitching in anger as he just laughs.
"I had a plan Logan. A good plan. A perfect. Plan. So tell me why as soon as you had the chance to, you ruined it!" He scoffs and blows a puff of smoke in your face. Your ears flatten against your head as you wave the smoke away.
"We finished the mission didn't we?." He says with a smirk. If this were a cartoon you'd surely have steam coming out of your ears by now.
"God you're nothing but a slimy little weasel sometimes!" You push your finger into his chest. He pushes your hand away and bares his teeth like an animal.
"You have no idea what it's like to actually be on the field so why don't you tuck your little tail between your legs and run back to the lab."
"Logan! That's enough." Jean scolds him harshly as you turn around and storm out of the room.
You feel tears welling up in your eyes but you force them down. Fuck him, you were an important part of the team. Whether he liked it or not.
It's like he lived to torture you. Ever since the day you told him off he seemed to just. appear. Constantly. Wherever you were he was there too. In the kitchen? He strolls right in for a soda. In the training room? He's already there. All sweaty and grunting and gross. You're outside near the water fountain, guess who strolls right on up. It was like he was stalking you or something.
Your ears perk up as you hear footsteps approaching your classroom. You taught most of the high level classes, the advanced ones for students who wished for more academic classes. So their tests were more complex to grade which is why you were still here so late into the night. Your nose twitches as a familiar scent fills your nose. Without even looking you let out a long sigh.
"What do you want weasel?"
"Now that's not very nice of you." Logan says with a smirk as he sits in the chair across from your desk. He puts his feet up on your desk. Right on top of the stack of papers.
"Can't you go bother someone else? Please. Like anyone else." He grins and you roll your eyes.
"But I just love your company." His voice is dripping with playful sarcasm.
"You're going to work yourself to death carrots. It's not good for you." The truth is he came to try and apologize for the other day but he just hasn’t found the right time. Okay well there’s been good times but he was never able to get the words out. So here he is trying his best.
He stands up and leans over your desk. You have to admit he's certainly an overwhelming presence. His face is inches away from yours, eyes staring into your soul with a wolfish grin on his face. He picks the pen out of your hand and throws it over his shoulder.
"Why not take the stick out of your ass and have a little fun?" Wow, for a second there you almost thought he cared.
"You know what Logan, just leave me alone."
"You know I'm trying to be nice here and all I'm catching is attitude." He growls. You slam your hands on the desk and stand up. Getting close to his face as your ears flatten. "
Nice? You think you're being nice?" You laugh in his face and he pushes back. Papers fly everywhere.
"Fine, work yourself to death I don't fucking care." He storms out of your room and slams your door loudly.
"Asshole!" You yell back. You turn back to see the mess of papers and sigh. Great, now your night got even longer. Logan mutters angrily as he stalks through the halls. So much for trying.
It's been at least a couple weeks since that night with Logan and thankfully he's finally decided to leave you alone. You barely saw him and in a weird way, you kind of missed him. Kind of. Barely. In fact you really enjoyed the peace. Your ears definitely didn't perk up when you heard Logan's voice on the other side of Professor Xavier's office. You push through the door and find Logan looking very pissed off.
"You wanted to see me?" You glance over at Logan who was fuming silently.
"Yes, I think it's time you join the team. On the field." You widen your eyes in surprise. You never considered yourself to be a field agent. Your mutation wasn't exactly built for combat. You were speedy but that's about it. Strategy and smarts were much more your speed.
"I think bringing you out on the field would be an immense help to your battle tactics. As Logan so kindly put it, being on the field is different from watching on the outside." You flash back to the harsh words Logan had said to you a while ago.
Logically it would be helpful for you to observe what missions were like first hand but you don't think you needed to be there. Still to get yourself a suit and be part of the team sounded nice too.
"And since it was his idea, Logan will be your instructor."
"What?!"
"Absolutely not." Charles gives you both a look, one that said to quiet down and you both reluctantly listen.
"I am not a fool, the two of you need to learn to work together. My decision is final." His tone leaves no room for argument and the two of you leave with scowls on your face.
"Alright thumper, here’s how it’s going to go. Tomorrow. 7am in the training room. Think you can handle it?” He places his hand near your head. You roll your eyes and duck under his hand.
“Yeah yeah, see you then Weasel.”
It feels like this was meant to be a punishment more than an assignment. You get that you and Logan haven’t. exactly gotten along but to stick you together like this? That’s just mean. You showed up right at 7am the next morning dressed in workout clothes. Logan is already there dressed in his little gray sweatshirt, white tank top and sweatpants.
“So you didn’t run away? Good bunny.” He smirks as your face scrunches up in anger.
“Fuck off.” You’re already dreading this. If you could just survive an hour then you could never deal with him again.
"Okay, show me what you got." He stands in the center of the mat. Arms at his side with an expectant look on his face.
"What?"
"I heal bunny, so give me all you got. I need to see what I'm working with here." You take a deep breath and launch an attack.
You weren't helpless by any means but you weren’t on the same level as Logan, even you could admit that. He barely flinched as you darted around the room. Striking him in a few places but he just stood there. It was starting to piss you off. You get that you weren’t the fiercest but he could at least try and fucking help instead of wearing you out like this. You look around the room and see wooden poles used for combat training. He never said you had to just use your hands. You dart across the room and grab one, swinging it hard against his back. To your surprise it completely breaks. Shattering on impact. He grabs the broken half that’s left in your hands and pulls it out of them.
“That’s cheating,”
“No it’s not. I was just using my resources.” He laughs and grabs your wrist. He slowly backs you up until you hit the wall.
“Oh yeah? What you’re gonna find a really big stick out in the field?” He mocks.
“This is useless.” He lets go and walks away from you.
You feel anger bubbling up in your chest. You don’t belong. You’re useless. What good are you to the X-Men? You are sick and tired of hearing shit like this all the fucking time and Logan was the worst about it. You launch yourself at him. Running as fast as you can and jumping on his back. It blindsides him, he tumbles to the ground. He grunts as you start to hit his back hard.
“What is your fucking problem!” He pushes you off and you wince as you hit the mat. You scramble away before he can get up and jump back onto him. Legs straddling his waist as you push his shoulders.
“Why do you hate me so much?! What did I do to you?!” You take a swing and hit him square in the jaw. He looks surprised but shakes it off easily. He doesn’t fight back, more in shock than angry at this point.
“I get that I don’t have metal claws and I can’t move stuff with my mind but I’m part of the team too!” You swing your fist again but he catches it this time. He grabs your other one and pushes you to the ground roughly.
“Fuck off!” You hiss as he crawls on top of you. He’s heavier than a fucking boulder as he practically pins you to the ground.
“No you shut up and fucking listen.” He growls. He still has your hands pinned to the floor. An almost animalistic look on his face.
“You are so infuriating, everything about you drives me fucking crazy. So pretty, so smart, so easy to rile up.” He purrs. Your body feels like it’s on fire. What the hell is he even talking about?
“I say things without thinking sometimes but you, you make it so hard. Always running your mouth.” You squirm under him, trying to get free.
Then. He moans. He fucking moans.
You stop moving and stare up at him in surprise. Then you feel something hard against your stomach. Oh. He’s hard.
“No fucking way.” You say with a smirk. He may be on top of you but right now it feels like you have all the power here.
“Don’t tell me you were an absolute dick because you liked me?” He doesn’t deny it. Instead pressing you harder into the mat.
“Shut up.”
“Couldn’t handle your feelings so you decided to tease me like a fucking schoolboy.” You laugh and try and move your arms but he doesn’t budge.
“You know what I think, I think you need to lose the attitude carrots, I think a nice good fuck would do you good.” You scoff at his words.
“And you think you’re the one to do that? You couldn’t make a girl cum if your life depended on it, Weasel.”
“Is that a challenge bunny? Come on, say it.” He’s hot and horny but he’s giving you a way out.
If you tell him to fuck off he’ll leave and you both can forget about it, but if you don’t. If you say you want this. Well he’ll finally shut you up like he’s been dreaming about. There’s a moment of silence between the two of you. He’s breathing heavy like an animal and you’re studying his every move. Was this a bad idea? Probably. But you couldn’t deny that Logan was hot and right now all you wanted was to suck him off until he was milked dry. Shit.
“You can try, but I bet you won’t even last a minute.” He practically pounces on you. His face is buried in your neck as his hips grind against yours. You gasp as he bites your neck harshly. Eyes fluttering shut as he kisses it better.
“Dreamed of this, my bunny all wet and needy for me.” He nibbles up to your ears. Practically purring at how soft they feel.
“Not your bunny yet.” You bite back. He lets go of your wrists and sits up on his knees. He rips open your bra without the least bit of resistance. Mouth drooling as he stares at your tits.
“Fuck me.” He mutters as he harshly gropes your chest.
His thumb flicks over your nipple and you let out a squeak of pleasure. The last thing you wanted was for him to get an ego but fuck the way his hands feel on you is just so good. They’re rough and calloused and he is relentless in his movements. You almost whine when he stops playing with them, already missing his touch. He sheds his tank top, leaving him in all his muscled glory.
“Like what you see?” He asks cockily as he takes his pants off too.
“You fucking wish.” You mutter unconvincingly. You take your nails and rake them down his chest making him moan.
“You like a little pain don’t you.” You tease, digging your nails into his skin harder.
“Maybe I do.” You yelp as he shreds your pants and underwear to shreds.
“Those were fucking expensive asshole-Fuck!” You gasp as he buries his face into your cunt. His hands locked on your thighs, moving isn’t an option as he practically inhales your cunt.
“Smells so sweet, can always smell you bunny but up close is just. So much better.” You feel yourself start to melt under his rough hold. He’s absolutely overwhelming.
“Maybe later I’ll finally get a taste but right now I think I need to put your mouth to better use.” He pulls you up onto your knees. Stroking his cock as he pushes you down. Shit he’s big but you don’t even react, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.
“Come on bunny, open up. Be a good girl for me.” Fuck him if he thinks he’s going to be in charge here. You smirk and take him as far down as you can.
“Fuck!” He hisses, not prepared for you to do that.
“Fuck slow down.” There's a hint of desperation in his voice and you feel a sense of pride. You pull back and spit on his cock. Using your hand you coat it, looking him right in the eyes as you roughly move your hand along his cock.
“I think you need a lesson too,” His eyes roll to the back of his head as you take as much of him as you can.
Choking as the tip hits the back of your throat. You are unrelenting, eating up every little desperate sound that’s coming from his lips. Not so tough now are you Logan you think as you feel him twitching in your mouth. He’s so damn close and its driving him wild. You feel a heavy hand bunch your ears and pull you off.
“As much as I want to come down your throat and watch you swallow it all…” He wipes some drool off your face as talks.
“I need to be inside that cunt.” Then he grabs your face and kisses you, actually kisses you. You’re startled at first but melt into it. His lips are rough and he smells so much like tobacco and whiskey but fuck its intoxicating. He’s big, rough, and so fucking hot.
“You’re soaking wet bunny.” He taunts as he cups your cunt with his hands.
“I bet you’re just aching to be filled. Don’t worry, I can help.” He manhandles you with his crazy strength till you're on your knees facing the mirrors.
“See, you’re just shaking with anticipation.” He grins wickedly as he cups your face and forces you to look into the mirror.
He’s not wrong. He’s big and you can feel his cock nudging its way into your cunt. You’re panting, hair a mess. His hand looks so good around your neck and he looks even more delicious. Your vision blurs as he slides himself inside of you. The air is knocked out of your lungs as you feel nothing but Logan. Head up in the fucking clouds as he gives you a moment to relax, whispering sweet words to help ground you back to earth.
“Is your dick inside of me the only way to get you to be nice?” You ask breathlessly. Logan grunts, not happy that you’re still able to speak beyond moaning his name.
“I can be nice, I can be real nice.” He slides out of you at a slow, agonizing pace before thrusting harshly back in. You claw at the mat as he sets a brutal pace. In and out. Slow and hard. Pulling desperate sounds from the depths of your throat.
“Logan please!” You beg, you need him so bad. Need to feel him, need him to rearrange your fucking guts. “
So polite, now that’s more like it.” He leans in and kisses your neck roughly.
Claiming you as his own in his own animalistic way. He would tease you, continue to pull you apart on his cock for hours if he could. But the truth is he needed you. A deep carnal desire to render you completely fucked out. He leans back, pulling your back to his chest. He guides your hands to his arm.
“Hold on bunny.” Your nails sink deep into his skin, drawing blood as he sets a brutal pace.
Pounding into you so hard you see stars. Fucking hell super human strength and stamina really is a gift. He coos in your ear when he notices you starting to slump in his arms. Your legs burned, he was reducing you to a puddle of nothing.
“You okay pretty? Feel too good doesn’t it.” You nod, words not forming in your brain anymore.
All you feel is pure bliss and Logan feels a surge of pride in being the one to do this. You catch his gaze in the mirror. His eyes filled with pure, raw lust. His face was twisted in focus, brows furrowed and mouth slightly open. His muscles were bulging with every move. You couldn’t stop yourself from look. Watching as he buried his cock into you.
“I know you’re close, it’s okay. I got you bunny.” One of his hands slips down between your legs. He draws tight, harsh circles on your clit making you cry. You’re squirming wildly, it feels too good. His fingers are too much but you don’t want him to stop.
“Shh, that’s it. Just relax.” He sinks his teeth into your shoulder as you come hard.
Your legs can’t stop shaking. Logan tightens his grip on you, keeping you up right as he fucks into you hard. Chasing his own release, thrusting wildly and you fucking swear he whimpers as he stills his hips deep inside. Filling you up and then some. It’s a real shame when he pulls you, an empty feeling overtaking you. He loosens his grip and you almost face plant onto the mat.
“Logan..” You whine and he helps maneuver you to your back.
“Sorry carrots, didn’t mean to let you fall.”
“Don’t call me carrots.” You mumble, still completely exhausted.
“Okay, whatever you say, carrots.” You huff as Logan helps you stand up.
Your clothes are completely ruined but he somehow finds some extra sets of clothes in the closet. When did he even get up? Maybe you were still a little lost.
“Hey, you okay?” He cups your face gently. A slight look of worry in his face.
“Aw, you do care.” You tease. He rolls his eyes but doesn’t let go of you.
“I always cared.”
“Had a real shit way of showing it.” You snort and he just smiles softly.
“Yeah. Guess I did.” To your embarrassment you still can’t exactly walk right. Luckily Logan is right by your side. You mentally prepare yourself to tell people you hurt your leg or something when they ask why you’re limping so bad.
“I still don’t know what I did to make you hate me.” You say quietly as you reach your dorm room. He sighs and gently plays with your ears. It tickles.
“I don’t hate you, I never did. I just. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” He can’t articulate just why he acted the way he did. He wants to, he really does but it just. Doesn’t come out. There's a long history of pain and loss and while you want to know why, an apology is certainly a start.
“Thank you,” He smiles softly, then realizes he’s probably overstayed his welcome. As if you two weren’t fucking in the training room less than 10 minutes ago.
“Do you want to stay?” He hesitates, unsure if this is truly what you want. If this line is ready to be crossed.
“You owe me for ruining my clothes. Just one nap.” He relents, it’s easy when you’re looking at him like that.
“Okay bunny. Just one nap.” He shuts the door behind him, crawling into bed with you.
He feels a rumble in his chest as he sinks into your bed. You’re soft and it feels like he’s meant to be here. You fall asleep quick, body aching and practically screaming for you to sleep. Logan stays awake for a while, just okay with being here. Just one nap he tells himself.
He’s lying. It’s never going to be just one nap.
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#logan howlett angst#logan howlett x you#logan howlett x bunny girl!reader
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Delicate
Sinister! Mark x GN!Regenerator! Reader
A/N: After -> this <- post by @kikiiguess, thanks for matching my freak on a catastrophic level!
⚠️Contains Comic Spoilers⚠️


18+ disturbing content
Synopsis: After escaping from the wasteland dimension, Mark has developed a concerning appetite... Warnings: angst, blood, injury, hurt/comfort, masochism, literal cannibalism, this is oddly sexual charged
It was way past midnight when you woke up finding the bedplace next to yours empty once again, starting to wander the barely illuminated hallways in search for your lover.
A few days prior he had finally returned to your dimension after weeks of absence - yet what exactly happened or how he was even able to find his way back remained a mystery.
All you were sure of is that he had returned a shell of his former self, completely driven by inferior instincts.
From what you could understand of the scraps of information he provided in between demented nonsense, Mark and several of his alters got stranded in a dead universe, with no access to food or water...
...so naturally, as time passed and their hopes of rescue were dwindling, their last option was to start eliminating each other in their desparation for survival.
Truth be told, you were almost 100% sure it was your Mark that made them all turn on each other in the first place.
You've had it all with this man, so you were confident to say it was definelty in his range of possibilities - though this was a new low, even for him.
Damn it, how many times did you tell him to not trust Angstom of all people?! He had been a pain in the ass in your dimension, and now you found out the hard way that goes for this one as well.
But sadly your boyfriend was a fatal combination of both greedy and bored - so being able to expand his empire across the multiverse seemed like just the kind of diversion he needed.
Maybe you if you had been more assertive, then none of this would've happened...
Not much later you finally run into him, hunched over the corpse of your comrade and holding a severed limb as his teeth scraped off the flesh. Witnessing carnage of this extent wasn't really new for either of you, but the context made it just so much more gruesome.
Ever since he came back he's nothing short of instable, however not in the way you were used to. It had always been subtle, well hidden behind a charming facade and skilled manipulation tactics.
There had been method to his madness up until now, but the isolation and sheer hopelessnes of his situation made the last remnant of his sanity slip away like sand between his fingers.
At times his mind conjures voices and other hallucinations, making him even more paranoid than usually. And more often than not he thinks that he's still trapped in that very same wasteland dimension. Well, back then his only solace was imagining himself back home by your side, and now it had become impossible for him to differentiate...
...not to mention, he seems to be plaqued by an aching hunger that can never be quenched.
The doctors claimed it was psychosomatic, caused by the trauma, and that he will most likely adjust to normal food again...
...and yet he hasn't gotten any better, no matter what you tried.
"Want some?" Mark's voice cut through the silence like shards of glass, and you shot him a both disappointed and sympathetic look before shaking your head. "Thanks, I'll pass..."
"I was just so hungry, you know?" You hear a bone creaking as he munches on it, and you feel like throwing up. "Always hungry...it never goes away..."
As much as it pained you to see him this way, in the end you prefer to have him like this than not at all.
Finding him here was no coincidence, surely. He always deliberately fled from your side, whenever this vile urge became too overwhelming. Harming you - the one and only person he evidently cared for - was out of the question.
The old Mark was still hidden somewhere in this delirious menace, you were sure of it...
...you just needed to find a way to lure him out.
"Come" you whisper softly, understandingly, yet also cautious - like you were trying to appease an unpredictable beast that could lash out without warning shall you make one wrong movement. "Let's go to bed."
For a split second a panicked aggression flared up in his eyes, although he didn't act upon the impulse he developed to ensure his survival. He mustered your outstreched hand suspiciously, as if not quite knowing what to do with it, but after a while of whatever his disturbed mind was contemplating, he accepted your offer.
You mutely led him the way back to your shared chambers, with him leaving a trail of blood from the carnage left behind. That's a problem for tomorrow you - or preferably someone else - to clean up.
Right now all that counts is being there for the man that would- no, has conquered entire civilizations in your name.
You owe this to him!
There was no use trying to reason with him about getting cleaned up, so you gently guided him onto the mattress and climbed in right after. Blood from his clothes, hair and skin was soaked into the sheets, drying into a deep shade of crimson. He was entirely covered in it, mixed with his own saliva as it dripped down his chin.
You cradled his face into your hands, pecking a kiss on the bridge of his nose before smearing the proof of his earlier slaughter into nothing but a fading red.
"I didn't plan to be last, I swear..." your boyfriend uttered as he wrapped his arms around your middle, his scruffy beard tickling the crook of your neck. "It just continued not to be me. Maybe I don't look tasty? I don't want to not look tasty..."
You let out a shuddered breath, continuing to let your fingers comb through his messy hair but getting tangled in the dried blood. "I'm just glad to have you back."
Mark had always cursed himself for being so pathetically attached to you. He never intended to fall in love, downright refused this foreign feeling long before he even understood them.
After having spent his whole life in solitude, indifferent to anything 'normal' people seemed to value, he convinced himself that it was actually a sign of superiority.
...and then he met you.
A plaything, a pastime at first.
Back then the GDA had messed with the pain center of your brain, so you'd be more effective in battle. After all, regeneration isn't helpful if you feel every single hit, especially after getting severely injured.
However those experiments came at a price - it caused the side-effect of mistaking pain for pleasure instead.
That's what makes the two of you such a great match: You can basically never break under the weight of what it means to be a sadistic sociopath's spouse. With you he can go all out, implement his dominating power without any consequences.
Who would've thought that the first battle he would ever lose was the one with his own heart?
In a certain way, that other dimension was better. Easier. Absent of any irrational social rules or confusing emotions he couldn't get behind. It was survival of the fittest - a concept he as one of the strongest beings in the universe was very fond of.
Back there, his lack of empathy wasn't consiered monstrous there - it was an advantage. Finally a reassurance that he wasn't broken or wrong.
He was the one that made it out alive, after all.
"How-" Mark's voice is raspy, wild eyes boring into your skull as his fingers tentatively wrapped around your neck. "How do I know this is real? Have you ever been real?!"
You were oddly calm despite being at a madman's mercy, but frankly you were used to it. He increases the pressure on your windpipe just enough to be uncomfortable, but you can feel the barely contained violence behind his grip.
Why didn't you think of this earlier? The solution is so obvious!
"...take from me and find out."
"...no." Mark's voice is firm in a brief moment of clarity. "No" he repeats, "I can't-"
"Why not?" You ask, tone almost offended that he'd reject your generous offer. If he wasn't currently slightly out of mind himself, he would've definetly called you out on this ridiculous behavior.
But his answer stands. There's lines even he does not cross, at least when it came to you. Hypocrite.
"Your folk has less than 50 pure-blooded Viltrumites left, and you just eviscerated one of them...but me? I can take it, I swear."
Your boyfriend had always shared the Viltrumite mindset that humans - except for certain individuals like you were one - are inferior creatures, not much different from cattle or vermin even. Many times he had hunted them for the sheer fun of it...
...but now he didn't even stop at his own people. If he continues, the Viltrumites will eventually turn against him no matter his royal heritage.
Things can't go on like this.
Maybe it's time for more drastic measurements.
"Stop being stubborn" you coo, invitingly batting your lashes but he shuts you up with a glare.
"No, you stop!" He rubs his face frantically, attempting to become at least somewhat clear-headed again. "Even your regeneration has limits. What if I-"
"You won't." Without hesitation, you dig your nails into your forearm, deeply enough to break the skin.
The sheer sight of it leaves him utterly conflicted, exasperated as he's sure once he gives in, he might not be able to stop himself. You see it in the way his hands tremble, barely hovering over your body, and his jaw clenching so hard that you hear his teeth crack.
You dare to cup his cheek, pouring all of your affection into the smile you gift him alongsdes with the essence of your very self. "I love you, Mark. And...I trust you with my life."
"Shit...why are you doing this to me...?" Mark carefully takes ahold of your wrist and brings it to his mouth, lips slightly parted as the intoxicating scent of your blood drings to his nostrils.
It's not the first time, and by far not the last.
Initially he's only licking across the wound, incredibly mellow as if he only wanted to clean it...
...but when the liquid finally graces his dry throat, he lets out a low growl and immediately straddles your waist, pouncing on you like a starved animal. He rips apart your sleeping shirt and lets his canines sink deeply into your exposed shoulder, tearing off the first layer of tissue.
You fail to suppress almost inaudible moans escaping your throat, having the love of your life causing you such delightful pain being almost too much to handle. And when his keen senses make him aware of your reaction, it only spurs him to go further.
"Ohhh..." he almost groans in pure ecstasy, ferociously covering your body in bites and craters of missing flesh. "You like that, huh? Nasty thing."
Mark's hands explore every inch of your body alongsides his mouth, the uncertainty of whether his next move will be mending or hurtful only adding to your excitement. He observes you intently, pupils blown wide by this sheer addicting deed.
His tongue forces your mouth open, the metallic taste of your own blood invading your senses. He can feel your pulse spiking up, as if that feeble little heart of yours wanted to remind him it knows exactly who it belongs to.
Good.
The others tasted so fucking disgusting. But you...
"Fuck" he panted against your skin, drunk on the feeling of having your mind and body submit to him so easily. "So fucking perfect...taking it all so good...it's like you were made just for me..."
Finally he could be as close to you as he deep inside always dreamt to be, and you were enjoying this twisted kind of love.
Part of you is now incorporated in him forever. Poetic.
After what felt like both an eternity and a flash of time, your boyfriend kissed a spot that had just healed for the last time, licking his lips in satisfaction and pulling away.
At long last, he was satiated.
Sitting up, Mark was practically beaming at you, with a look like you had hung the moon just for him. "Damn, babe" he cackles, the metaphorical fog around his soul finally lifting. "You're a freak, you know that?"
"Takes one to know one." You roll your eyes with a wide grin on your face, and the endearing sight makes him crash his lips over yours once again, sighing contently into your mouth.
Before you knew it, your boyfriend began trailing more sensual kisses across your body - from your neck down to your collarbone, chest and finally down your navel, making you shiver the further he descended.
A wolfish smile is playing on his lips as he settles between your legs, his teeth softly nipping into your thigh, mischievous eyes never leaving yours.
"Hope you're ready for dessert..."
#what has unrestrained internet acces done to me?#anyways#invincible#mark grayson#sinister mark#invincible x reader#mark grayson x reader#sinister mark x reader#fanfiction#oneshot#writing#reader insert#cw cannibalism#invincible s3#invincible comic#invincible spoilers
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