#but i think some people get so caught up in trying to get the 'healthiest' individual offspring

[llatimeria]

Like there's... something, I think, more than nothing, about genes can influence a person's life and maybe even their personality, skills, etc, but I don't want to choose any of that. I'm not out here trying to genetically concoct the exact perfect addition to my family based on my interests and values. I just want to see somebody happen and hopefully help them along the way. I feel like wanting anything else is just setting yourself up for failure or disappointment.

the simplest path for me to have a baby would be getting a sperm donor but the idea of choosing a sperm donor is kind of freaky. like, the sperm banks give you so much information about the guy that it starts feeling eugenic-y to not pick entirely at random. I don't need to know his salary and his college major and how tall and heavy he is I mostly just need to know if our combined genetics are hopefully not gonna produce a kid that withers and dies a slow painful death at a heartbreakingly young age if it even makes it out of the womb at all

[iminyourwallsbabe]

Thinking about Viktor's life story, it's really crazy.

Like I was listening to St. Chroma the other day and that song is about making a life out of nothing starting at the very bottom and making out of there yourself. But what I like about it and why I don't think it's corny like a lot of other songs like that, is that it's so fucking stubborn. Yk? It's like FUCK YOU, I can do this and I dare you to try and hold me back cuz it's not fucking happening.

You know who that sounds a lot like?

Like let's just think about this. He's a boy from the undercity, his parents are probably dead, he has a disability he probably had to deal with and make accommodations for by himself. Given what happens to most people from Zaun and how they live, the odds say he was cooked from the start. He could've been dead or in jail by then. The second someone instilled the idea in him that he could be more than that though, he took it and ran with it. He was like, alright, if I have it in me to go after anything, I'm gonna be a scientist.

So from that point on, he put in the work. Probably twice as much work as someone from Piltover would have to do if Jayce's recreation of his life was any indication. He was probably doing all of this hungry, in pain, and with a million other ailments. I think for him though, instead of doubting whether or not he could he wondered how long it would take. Would be doing this for decades? How much of his life would he spend trying to make it there? Would he live to see it all amount to something? That's why when Jayce presents his ideas and he gets ahold of his notes, Viktor immediately gets in on this. It could be a world altering discovery, it could be bullshit, he doesn't have the time to pass up the opportunity. If he wants to be anything more than an assistant, he has to be bold. He has to have the audacity.

That's really what it is at the end of the day, that's what got him where he wanted to be. The fucking audacity. I mean think about it, this guy from the undercity that people probably don't trust already is about to go behind the council's back to do some potentially life threatening experiments with the guy who blew up a building and almost killed several children. Who does he think he is?

This is why he tells Jayce "When you want to change the world, don't ask for permission", because the truth of the matter is, and this applies to real life as well, the people sitting in the chairs in the council are not going to let you manifest any dreams that don't fit their world view. You can keep fighting them about it until your face turns blue, but more than likely, they're not budging. If you're really about it, you just have to do it.

This mentality bleeds into everything he ever does. There's so many times in just the first few episodes where he's asked "are you sure about this?" and he straight up just says "lol no this could probably kill us but fuck it, we ball". He doesn't wait for anybody, not society, not safety, nothing. He's the definition of a man of progress, it's his entire life. But it's not just the world he wants to make better, it's a personal thing as well.

Every step of the way, he wants to become something greater. He started out as a regular undercity boy, then he became a student, then he worked his way up to becoming the assistant to the dean of the academy, who it may serve you to remember is the head of the council. Then, he became a real scientist, just like he wanted. That wasn't enough though, it wasn't enough to just *do* science, he had to do something with it. Keep pushing it until it could do the most good it could do. Then, he got sick. Or his sickness caught up to him at least. His time was limited. It only made him more focused on progress. How much can I do with what little time I have left? Can I extend that time? Can this magic or this shimmer make me the healthiest version of myself that there can be?

That's why it was so devastating for him to lose Sky. She was the first person to directly be harmed by the thing he created, at least the first person he saw. She lost her life in his pursuit for greatness. Say what you want about how obsessed he is with the idea of evolution and growth, but you can't say he was ready to give up the people he wanted to save in order for it to happen. At least, not yet. That's when he thought it was the end of the road, that he'd gone too far. He had to stop here. His solution to that was gonna be doing a backflip off a building, but you get the idea.

That's really why the second season isn't super surprising in retrospect. I mean we can blame the hexcore for some of it, I think it took some of his humanity but a lot of those ideas were his own. And I think he meant what he said when he said his path and Jayce's path diverged when he was brought back to life. He was supposed to die, the hexcore was supposed to be gone, this pursuit was supposed to be over. He felt like Jayce just didn't know when to stop and it was interfering with the well being of humanity. And I think he took that and his own failures to heart, prompting him to find a way to try and take that out of the equation.

Anyway r.i.p Viktor you would've loved Chromakopia

[aspenlovesmedia]

Time to talk about Martin as a Buried avatar because I am aware this seems like an odd choice in my au but I have my reasons.

So, to get a little personal for a moment (this is relevant I promise), I have often felt trapped by my own mental illnesses, my differences to others, and my need for people to like me. For a long time I forced myself to do whatever I could to help others because in my mind if I didn’t then they would have no reason to like me and people had to like me because it was better that I was burning myself out than being alone again. I think you can see the similarities between my own experiences and Martin.

The Buried I think is often overlooked, and I feel like a lot could have been done with being trapped by your own anxiety, where you’re buried underneath the worries of everyone else and can’t escape the hell of your own creation because you’re so afraid to be a bad person.

While Martin very much fits the Lonely and the Web, I feel season 1/2 Martin had such a potential to become aligned with the Buried instead. Rather than isolating himself, Martin becomes more and more desperate to help everyone around him because if he helps them, then he’s useful, but this also leaves him unable to do anything else. He’s so caught up in keeping everyone else happy (or at least as close to it as he can get them) that he struggles to do anything else. His anxiety around how others view him traps him, and the powers around him want him stuck.

Now the Shifted Gaze Martin is in a slightly different situation to canon Martin by the time the story starts as he’s actually friends with Jon. Jon is already well on his way to becoming a Web avatar, so he’s a pretty different person to what he is in canon. He’s still really not the best at socialising, but it’s more in a he says the bare minimum of words he needs to rather than he’s being a dick kind of way. To put a long story short, Martin sees this man who is completely alone, and makes it his mission to ensure Jon isn’t as alone as he is.

The thing is in doing so, he accidentally becomes the one thing keeping Jon’s humanity alive, and that makes Martin the perfect target for the Buried. Martin begins by being trapped trying to help Jon, then that extends to Sasha and Tim when he joins the archival team, and he does not have the time or energy to take care of himself. Martin and Jon’s dynamic in this au is really not the healthiest lol. I’d say it gets better but that would be a lie. Martin so strongly ties himself to the people he cares for he stops caring about what happens to himself, and when certain events happen, well let’s just say the Buried gets a new avatar.

Martin is still aligned with the Lonely in some ways in this au, but the Buried is what claims him.

Btw sorry if any of this is rambly or doesn’t make sense, I am writing this while sleep deprived lol. I feel like this will really start to make sense as I write him in the actual story rather than me explaining it this way since I have to leave out some major things due to spoiler reasons. If you have questions please feel free to ask them I would love to answer.

[moonydustx]

Love me

masterlist | requests here

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Summary: a sudden breakup leaves you questioning what could have happened to Bucky, until you discover he just wanted to keep you safe.

Warnings: a little angst, drama, smut ( p in v, f receiving oral, dirty talk) A lot of tears, but with a happy ending. If I left something out, just let me know.

WC: ~ 3k

A/N: Just an excuse to write about make-up sex with Bucky. No beta, sorry for possible errors as English is not my first language. Also, I'm not used to writing smut, but I hope you like it.

Requests here!

"You need to leave." Bucky asked, without even looking you in the eye.

"What does that mean Buck, did something happen?" you tried to touch him, but Bucky dodged your hands. "What is happening?"

"This mission made me think of many things..." he sat in the kitchen chair, Alpine didn't take long to pass between his legs, waiting for a caress. "I wasn't made for this life, for this." he pointed to the small space between you two.

"Wait, what do you mean?" your voice was already trembling when trying to at least understand what was happening. "Are you breaking up with me? Buck, two days ago everything was perfect, what happened? Please, I need you to explain."

"I already told you, I just..." for a second he looked at your face. The thick tears that ran down your cheeks made him feel his own throat close. He would have a few more reasons to hate himself after that. "I can not do this anymore."

"Is this your best explanation?" you charged and he just shrugged.

The noise of your engagement ring hitting the kitchen table bothered him, but not as much as seeing you walk out the living room door without even looking back. For the first time in a while, it was his turn to allow tears to flood his face.

One month, thirteen days and a few hours.

Maybe it wasn't the healthiest thing in the world to count the dates of the last time you saw your ex, the fateful day he kicked your ass.

You wish you were one of those people that you get over easily, or at least pretend to be by posting happy pictures on social media, but that wouldn't be you.

Your type was more to isolate yourself and drown in your own sorrows, which was also not possible due to work. You had to put on your best social mask and move on, even if you still didn't believe a word Bucky had said.

"Chef, there's a visitor for you." Tyler, one of your employees, caught your eye.

Before he even speaks, you can feel him watching you. Everyone there knew something was wrong.

"How urgent?" you ask with zero atention.

"It's an avenger, so I assume this is the most urgent we've ever had at this restaurant."

The knife in your hand fell onto the board, a chill running through your body. If it was Bucky, Tyler would have told you, after all, your ex-boyfriend had already spent a lot of nights accompanying you to the restaurant. Could be news about him, maybe not good stuff.

"Annya, can you take over for me?" you asked, hearing a "Yes, chef!" by far.

Your mind ran through different scenarios, the vast majority without a happy ending, while you took off your tame and cap.

The weight on your shoulders disappeared when you saw Sam smiling, waiting for you at one of the tables. As soon as he got to his feet, you hugged him.

"I thought I wouldn't have the privilege of seeing the head chef."

"Consider yourself privileged then, because tonight promises." you settled into the chair across from him. Despite the smiles and the mild climate, something told you that there was something more. "So, you came to try the new meat."

"No, not today, but I'm still trying. I'm here to talk about Bucky."

"Did something happen?" your heart immediately sped up, all those fears coming back like a flood.

"It's all right with him." Sam reassured you, noticing your posture change at the time. "I have some information and to be honest I can't stand to see him suffer over it any longer."

"Suffer for what?"

"You, what else would it be?"

"Sam, he chose to leave me. It still hurts, but there's nothing you can do about it." you explained, seeing him nod. "But if there's anything I can help you."

"I'd rather tell you and then you choose what to do. On the last mission, some personal information was leaked. About the team, about Sarah, the boys, you."

"Exactly what about me?"

"About you and Bucky, they used that to try and coerce him, that's what made him choose to walk away from you." he handed you a cell phone.

On the screen, a photo of you and Bucky leaving the restaurant at night, another of the two of you running together, another of you in a coffee shop.

"Who got this? I-I... Are we in danger?" you looked around for suspects, for cameras trained on the two of you, but found only people engrossed in their own conversations. "Who made this?"

"It does not matter now."

"How does it not matter?"

"Bucky sorted it out and whoever it is, they won't be bothering you anymore." Shit. Sam doesn't need to say more for you to understand what resolve means. "I'm only telling you this because I know you still like him."

"It takes two to make a relationship, at the very least." you responded right away.

"Just think, wouldn't someone who did all this thinking about protecting you love you?" Sam asked and laughed when he saw your confused face. "Oh man, you two deserve each other."

"Should I talk to him?"

"Well, he's in town, no plans for the next mission. Maybe you should." Sam shrugged and got to his feet. "Now that I've taken this weight off of me, I'll let you work, but I'll be back and you better cook the best steak I've ever had."

"Order noted." you said goodbye to him with a quick hug. "Thanks Sam."

"Don't thank me, I'm just doing my part as the future best man." he winked, eliciting a laugh from you and then left.

The evening at the restaurant, despite being full, seemed to take forever to pass. Amidst the food, your head wandered over the images you'd seen, what Sam had said.

It was past midnight when you got home. You took a hot shower, somehow trying to calm your mind, but that wasn't enough. Before putting on your pajamas, you thought a little more. You couldn't miss that opportunity, even if it was to close that chapter of your life. You got dressed and headed towards Bucky's apartment.

Your legs made you walk from side to side, restless in front of the door, your mind bubbled with possible excuses for a visit during the night. You knocked a few times and got no response, but you couldn't just walk away.

The keys you still had danced between your trembling fingers before they even reached the lock. Upon opening the door, you can see Alpine look up curiously, immediately jumping off the couch and going to tangle at your feet.

"Hello for you too!" you bent down, feeling the soft white hairs by your hand.

The door behind you closed by itself, giving you only the trouble to lock it again. The small apartment seemed untouched since the last time you were there, you took off your three shoes, leaving them next to Bucky's boots, an old habit.

The same brown cushions as the Alpine ration in the same corner. Your photo still next to the TV. If you closed your eyes, you could remember the day that picture was taken, your nervous laughter being on a Ferris wheel and Bucky's arms around your waist.

You've heard Bucky before you've even seen him in full. The murmurs came from the side of the sofa, and as you feared to find him, he was lying on the floor, only a pillow and a sheet protecting his body from the cold floor. He was muttering something incomprehensible, even from a distance you could see the sweat gather on his face.

Trying to get closer without scaring him, you knelt beside where he was lying, Alpine climbed on the arm of the sofa, carefully following your every move.

"Buck?" you called him in a whisper, not having much effect. This time, you chose to touch his shoulder, shaking it slightly, the nickname involuntarily falling from your lips. "Babe?"

As if out of breath, Bucky sat up, catching all the apparently lost breath. It took a few seconds for his blue irises to meet yours, trying to assimilate what was happening.

"Am I still dreaming?" he muttered to himself, it was only when he felt your hand take his that he seemed to realize reality. "You are here?"

"Yes." you replied, settling into a sitting position.

For a few seconds, you chose to just watch him. The disheveled hair and beard had been undone for some time, a little longer than usual. Next to his military dog ​​tag, hung the ring you wore. Regret took over your body for leaving behind.

"Are you well?" his husky voice interrupted you from daydreaming about the two of you's recent past. Trying to push those thoughts away, you just shook your head and tried to do your best on your own, but you already knew him to know that wouldn't convince him.

"I should be asking that. Was I having a nightmare?"

"Yes... I couldn't sleep and in the little time I could, some demons decided to take the time to disturb me." just as you had, he smiled and just like him, you knew that all was not well. "What are you doing here?"

"Needed to see you." your hand that clung to him let go, busy pinching your own hand nervously. "I've been talking to Sam."

"I don't know what he told you, but I can guarantee..."

"Please let me speak." you cut him off, afraid he would ask you to go again. "I know about the threats, I know about everything and I wonder what your head must be like. But what I want you to understand is that I'm okay with it."

"You do not understand."

"You can help me with this. It may sound silly, but, I don't know, I can learn to defend myself, I can spend more time around you. I just don't accept that our story ends like this, for fear of something that still it didn't even happen. I want to try, I want to stay!" you had to pull yourself together after dumping everything on him.

It could just be your impression, or maybe just the street light streaming in through the window, but you could have sworn his eyes were teary.

His hands pulled yours to lock around the back of his neck. In a rush of courage, you crossed your legs over his, settling in his lap. His hands slid down your back, locking onto your waist.

"Say you don't want me, that you don't love me anymore and I'm gone." you whispered and he immediately denied it.

"They said your name, they talked about you, about us and I didn't know how to react." he closed his eyes for a moment, sighing as he felt your fingers tangle in his hair. "I don't think I've ever felt that… that fear. I thought it would be easier to walk away than stick around and let them hurt you. But shit, it hurt. It still hurts not to have you around."

"If you want, I can stay away, just ask, I understand. I just need you to be honest." His hands, previously tied around your waist, went up to your face, wiping away a few tears. "Now if I stay, we'll get through this together. Please..." your voice came out a lot lower than you expected. "Ask me to stay, tell me you still love me."

Your current self was waiting for an answer, yearning to hear those damn three words. Your now self didn't have a shred of regret. If at any time you dared to rethink what had been said, that was left behind when you felt his lips on yours.

His right hand tangled in your hair, deepening his lips on you, while the other kept you attached to him, squeezing your waist. His tongue drew the roof of your mouth, such a good and familiar feeling. God, how you missed that.

"I love you." Bucky's voice murmured, moving just a few millimeters from your lips. "I love you." he stole another kiss, this time even more intense. "I love you, every bit, every part." the kisses began to go down the back of your neck, reaching that part that shivered your entire body.

"Bucky, please."

"Let me love every piece of you, please doll." he asked, letting his tongue run up to the edge of your ear. "Fuck, let me show you that I haven't stopped loving you for a second."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you babe." you whispered, pressing your still covered intimacy against him.

Heat was starting to build up in your core, making it impossible to think. His lips pulled away from yours, only for in a single thrust, he'd jump to his feet and keep you locked in his arms. It didn't take long for you to feel your body against the soft fabric of the bed. Bucky took a little time to admire you, there again. The red eyes, the shy smile that was still there, even after so long.

"I missed you so much, here, in my bed, being all mine" his eyes asked permission to continue and a slight nod was enough for your pants and your blouse to find the bedroom floor.

His metallic hand ran over your shoulder, gently removing your bra, with each new piece of skin uncovered, you felt his lips deposit quick kisses, the urgency to be able to feel each piece of yours.

"Do not tease me." you asked when his lips touched your nipple. The tongue circling the protruding point, eliciting a timid groan from you.

"You are so sensitive, so good." the wet kisses descended towards your intimacy, touching with the lips the thin and humid fabric that prevented it from going exactly where you wanted.

You even tried to fight back, but even strangled, Bucky could hear you.

"Don't hold back, babe." he pulled the fabric off, tossing it along with the pile of clothes on the floor. Distracted lips, sliding down your thigh. "Let me hear you."

"It's dawn Buck, I don't want them to think... Fuck!" his tongue went straight to your clitoris, eliciting a muffled scream.

"What you saying." he pulled back a little, just to admire her intimacy. "All this for me?"

"It's how I missed you." Bucky dove into your intimacy, sucking your spot.

You could already feel your body about to boil. His tongue slowly circling your clit, while one of his fingers slowly entered your pussy, soon becoming two.

Sweet nothings came out of your lips, begging for something you didn't even recognize and it didn't take long for your vision to become blurred when you felt his tongue being replaced by the vibranium hand, the fingers cold as snow in contact with your clit were more than enough to reach your peak.

"Don't stop, please, please Bucky!"

"Give it to me honey, I know you want to come for me."

For a few seconds, amid an almost hoarse scream, your previously blurred vision disappeared for good. Your legs were shaking as you felt him settle between them. The lips still wet from your juice slid down your cheek, making you blink slowly.

"Still with me doll?"

"Yeah babe." you took his lips, tasting your own and giving him the freedom he needed to enter you.

He thrust slowly, Bucky's face hid in your neck as he moaned low, murmuring sweet nothings to you. So tight love. How I missed this pussy, made for me. You are mine, all mine.

The speed gradually increased, the headboard of the bed knocked insistently against the wall and you just hoped that the neighbors had a heavy sleep.

"Love, I can't hold it anymore." his hand went down to your clit, circling the most sensitive spot on your body. "I can sense that you can't either."

"Just like that Bucky, keep fucking like that." you begged, feeling the heat take over your body again.

"Come with me my angel. I can feel you tighten around me, give me one more, just one more."

The moans of both of you came out in unison and leaving you on the verge of an orgasm, it was only necessary to feel his hot liquid invade you to reach your own peak.

Bucky stayed in there for a few seconds, until he got out of you and turned you on top of him, hugging you tight and sticking his nose through your hair. Your scent was intoxicating, your body against his made him feel again that that cold apartment was home.

"You forgive me?" the hesitant tone of his voice caught your attention.

"Nothing to forgive" you settled on his chest. "Just promise never to leave me for that again?"

He gently pulled your face, making you look into his blue eyes. "I'll never, never leave you again, that's the easiest promise I've ever made in my life."

"I love you Buck."

"I love you more my angel." you snuggled into his chest and little by little your eyes grew heavy, his hands sliding on your back, in a comfortable silence.

The last thing she heard before falling asleep was an indignant tone in his voice.

"Wait, do you really want to learn how to fight?"

[hunniegl4zed]

So what exactly is the family dynamic between Sonic, Shadow, Tails, Seelkadoom, etc?

Sonic & Shadow: Husbands, married and might wanna expand their family with some kids. Sonic has been secretly dropping hints that he's ready for kids but Shads doesn't get them. Which causes Sonic's frustration.

Scourge: 2nd husbando of Shadow and sereclty wants Sonic out of the picture to get the Ultimate Husbando-Form for himself. Only Shads do be loyal to Sonic for not drpping him, but the two eventually hook up as well. Sonic is isn't all to happy about this, but has to learn to live with Scourge as much as Scourge has to live with Sonic.

Mayhem: Sonic's youngest brother turned evil. Hangs around alot with Scourge, for being the Green Goobers they are. Treats him like a brother since he misses the family bond he once had. Hates Sonic and will mentally damage him every time he gets the chance. The two never got to speak eye-to-eye and the tention is THICK when they are in the same room. He also cut ties with Sonia. Everything that reminds him of the family that abandoned him, needs to rot and die.

Nazo and Seelkadoom: POWER COUPLE. Looking fresh and one of the most healthiest relationships. People thought they couldn't stand each other for ''I wan to the world and no one can beat me'' attitude, but WHOOPS, look at who's already married, wealthy and happily living out their best lives!

Knuckles & Rouge: BF & GF, although sometimes don't seem to get eye-to-eye, still madly in-love with each other.

Tails: Is like a younger brother to Sonic and will do everything in his power to pretect him, always has his back. Does live with Silver.

Silver and Blaze: Dating, still trying to find the best ways to communicate and have fun. Blaze is more protective over him, but Silver wants to have his confidence. Blaze just needs time to sit back and relax.

Amy & Surge: Married, who would think?! Since Amy has caught the eyes of Surge, she calmed down.... JUST A LITTLE. Amy does know how to manage her anger and always reminds her of the consequences her actions might have.

[grumpy-gurgles]

I did a drabble with a fandom I'm in, that being Twisted Wonderland. I have never written for this fandom before, I'm scared shitless that someone might recognize my OC's name and call my ass out, and I'm slightly less terrified of this being horrendously out of character.

You can ask more about my OC but like. I probably won't be fully name dropping him for the sake of exposure, and I'll keep this out of the main tags as much as possible. Safety precautions. If my legitimate main gets exposed outside of this tummy stuff, I will end it all /hj

Drabble under the cut

OC x Az.ul As.hengrotto, made this in like a half hour so it's bad fyi I just Had A Thought it's 1am I already regret this-

Valentin is notorious for overworking. Whether it be his schoolwork, his alchemy work, inventing things.. he's always difficult to get settled down. He only seems to legitimately take a break at the times he has to, which is when he's sleeping, or when he's in too much pain to do so.

This, however, doesn't apply with hunger whatsoever.

His stomach doesn't have a clock anymore. He eats when he thinks it's a good time to, which doesn't end up often. And it's usually quick things that he can get through the next assignment or gadget for, and then leave his belly grumbling for more. And due to the quiet, almost shadow-esque nature he has among peers, nobody would really notice. Even if his stomach was loud, it'd probably be ignored or put onto someone else.

However, there's an exception to this. Usually one exception, sometimes three. Valentin's fellow dorm members in Octavinelle, specifically(on most occasions,) Azul.

Azul seemed to have a similar issue with overworking. That's how the two ended up bonding, though initially begrudgingly on Valentin's end of things. And Azul had very quickly caught onto the fact that Valentin doesn't have the healthiest habits with eating, because of how often his stomach kept betraying him whenever there was food around.

As a food sensitive person himself, Azul found himself having an issue with that. He initially thought of some contract that would rope Valentin into a proper eating schedule, instead of forcing him to work at the Monstro Lounge on top of everything else. But that wouldn't happen; Valentin wouldn't touch a contract, barely even the Lounge or the VIP room, with a 10 foot pole. He was smart enough to keep his grades up, and he was guarded enough to where Valentin seemingly had no problems! He definitely had problems, but exploiting those for the sake of getting the guy to have a solid meal in his belly also sounded bad. Because that wasn't a good move at all, especially since Valentin would probably try and punch him if he did that. Sevens, he's hard to handle. No wonder he's like a shadow in comparison to many other students. Dealing with this was a difficult task.

But then Azul had his lightbulb moment; ask him out to a little cafe thing! Not on a date or anything, just something to take his mind off it all. Maybe a contract would come later, if Valentin had more trust. He just had to ease the boy into it!

Azul had to drag Valentin to the first time they did this. Shockingly, Valentin let him, instead he chose to keep insulting him. But nothing that was really a sore spot for Azul, like his weaknesses, insecurities, or weight.

"You're an asshole," was one of the frequent phrases that Valentin muttered as his stomach snarled at him from the smell of various food places. But that day was the first day that Azul had heard Valentin's stomach being content and full, instead of upset and practically starved. Valentin was quite embarrassed about how loud his belly was as it digested the coffee and pastry he put in there, but only let that show when they were away from people.

It was the first time, that Azul was aware of, that Valentin had let someone in his brain for a bit. And it felt good, knowing that it was him.

This continued for a few more times, before the Leech twins were intrigued by their boss suddenly putting a solid chunk of attention into this guy. They joined in a couple of times, but usually they left it all alone.

So whenever Valentin starts with his horrendous schedule again, of only eating to get by with a grumbly stomach on too many occasions, Azul is there. It was initially going to be some manipulation tactic, maybe. But maybe it was more of a flirtation tactic the longer it continued for the both of them.

[wheelie-butch]

Angsty Wolfpack Thoughts

Okay I said the other day I'd post a bit some of my angstier Wolfpack thoughts so here... basically I was thinking about how I think basically most things about them, especially the rejecting individuality to be a pack stuff, comes from abandonment issues + trauma from their parents leaving, and the fact Scott doesn't remember any of that and isn't affected the same way and so doesn't have the same need to be a part of the pack like them contributes to them having a somewhat difficult relationship in a way that's very interesting to me.

The age difference is really important because I think it's actually being able to remember the abandonment that makes the Wolfpack act so differently to Scott. The devs have said only some of the Wolfpack share Scott's surname, meaning the Wolfpack aren't all brothers but at least 2 sets of cousins among themselves, which I think supports my thinking.

I think in response to their abandonment issues they try cope by taking an extreme view of like 'we'll stick together forever and that will be safe, everyone not in the pack is dangerous, if we don't get close to anyone outside the pack they can't leave us'. A lot of their asshole behaviour (like when they're mean to other characters or they are ineffectively hitting on girls/the moon) reads to me as being more about their own insecurities, proving themselves to each other and like trying to make themselves feel good and part of the group together. Like I don't think they actually care if Calculester has facial hair they just want to 'prove' themselves 'better' than him (an interesting event for me considering they have WAY less facial/body hair than Scott also, which again suggests the insecurity aspect of their bullying) or like when they are trying to ask out Vera and Miranda they're really caught up in saying stupid shit ('the hottest dogs to ever not literally be hot dogs' 'we'll show you courtship sportmanship on the COURT!!') more than focused on actually trying to force one of them to go on a date, and even the narrator unusually notes they're not actually trying to be assholes here, they're just stupid. Conversely, the time they are nicest to you is the lunchtime event where they decide to be "aggressively inclusive" and make you an honorary member of the pack. The way they have to justify being nice as 'you're one of us for a bit' I think shows how they really can't see beyond "in the pack = safe, out of the pack = not safe" even when they want to be friendly and have a nice time with people.

I think their constant attempts to get Scott to be more in the pack and stop having outside friends comes from a (very misguided) attempt to protect him - they think its safer to stay as a pack and any non-werewolf friends will abandon him. I actually think Vera's speech at the end of the FAMILY route about identifying what is not hell and holding onto those people is very pertinent to them. I think especially her promises never to leave Scott probably are why the Wolfpack are okay with her saying she's family to Scott and they're in the final image with everyone, because I think it speaks to their way of understanding the world.

I know their occasional moments of self-awareness are mostly for comedy, but when they admit things like 'we harass scott to cope with our unstable home life' to me that opens up interesting possibilities for thinking about exactly how much they are aware they are maybe not coping in the healthiest way. In the FAMILY route when they thank you for stopping them ruining Scott's idea of parents, and again the fact they let Vera refer to herself as part of Scott's family, it suggests to me that on some level they are aware it is actually better for Scott to have his beliefs and other friends.

I think it's interesting to imagine could they perhaps even feel jealous that he is able to have that faith and fearlessness to connect with others? Do they resent that he can do that and that he doesn't carry the trauma the same way as them? The dynamic of like 'i want to protect this younger family member and im glad they didnt go through the same things as me but also it hurts that i feel fucked up by what's happened to me and they're not and we can't fully understand each other because of it' is interesting for me to think about in regards to them. Some of this I think is reading in more than you can directly get from the text, but it's the sort of thing I find fun to explore beyond canon if that makes sense.

Also all this angsty headcanon thoughts don't mean I think they're actually secretly really sad all the time or something. I think their worst behaviours are driven by these abandonment issues in a way that feels like a clear thread through their actions, and I think they are on some level aware of it, but I think thats all buried pretty deep generally and most of the time they are all focused on having a good time being lads together. I think if they start to get too consciously sad they would probably cover it by lashing out or getting extremely hype over something distracting. However I just love to think about my favourite characters from lots of angles and yeah I hope if any of this is new to anyone else you have fun thinking of some angst also :)

[moonchild--mischief--managed]

Only Friends ep 9 brain dump

I saw a post about how we as a fandom always want ray and sand together regardless of what they pull and this was my honest opinion.

Now the part where I said sand needs to stay down but show that he can stand up was literally Sand in ep 9. Man really said we can do this but if I see better I'm out no hesitation. The way I lost my mind!!!!!!!!! Because through the episode, he kept saying the shit I needed him to say. He's telling Ray how he feels both good and bad, standing up for himself, creating boundaries, while still being hopeless for Ray. And yes I know through the week we would breakdown all their interactions and find the little faults but right now I'm just going to love the fuck out of this.

Ray and Mew's conversation was probably the sanest and healthiest conversation those two idiots have had in a while. I love that they know that the love they have for each other is not romantic or at east not enough for them to be together. Mew telling Ray to treat Sand right was everything because he needs to or else I will be fighting Ray regardless of the fact that he has khaotung's face. It was a beautiful and wholesome moment.

Sand and Nick's kiss had to happen, I don't care. They are good friends that caught feelings for messy people and they are tired. They know they're decent guys individually, so why not give it a shot? It was weird they laughed it off. They've moved on from it. It was an experience and I loved them for trying. Their love is also platonic and not romantic like Ray and Mew, the only difference is they didn't need the shit storm to realise that (and thank God for that because there's only so much we can take).

Sandray doing it!!! I have not recovered and will not be saying too much about it right now. I'm still smiling like some weird Cheshire cat, honestly you'd think I was sand or ray. But the little cheek kisses after 😍🥰 it was one of the most intimate parts of that scene. That was all feelings and I'm also very much in my feelings right now so....It was so perfect.

On an even brighter note, next episode's preview. Sand is getting Ray's ass to rehab. Some parts of me is worried that is part of Sand's agreement with Ray's dad but I don't want to go there I'm in a good mood. We all know Ray needs rehab and therapy more than a relationship but I'm glad he's getting both because that man is one more fuck away from an ass whooping. He stresses me out on a regular. I just can't wait to see next week's episode and loose my mind even further because why tf not?

ps. I know there are more people to talk about on this week's episode but we have a whole week to go through it. This is just where I'm at right now.

[giantchasm]

milgram jumpscare :0 i'd love to hear your voting takes for each of the prisoners

As a note, I'm not in on the Deeplore, I'm just a casual fan who was showed the PVs by a friend and given the basic rundown, but:

Haruka: Don't forgive. I actively dislike this guy. Maybe I'm just a bitch or whatever but I look at his story and my only reaction is "I'm also autistic and also have mommy issues and you don't see me killing both animals and people. Seems like a skill issue."

Yuno: Forgive. This one isn't even a question. Girl could literally be getting repeatedly pregnant solely to have abortions and I'd still be like "You go, girl!" It's funny that she seems to think people are only forgiving her/voting her innocent because they perceive her as some naive little girl. Like... no. I'd vote this way for anyone and everyone in this situation.

Fuuta: Controversial, maybe, but forgive. While he definitely got caught up in a toxic cycle, it's pretty clear he has intense regret over what he did. And also like... I think the behavior he exhibits is something everyone on the internet falls into a little bit and needs to try and unlearn. Not going to throw stones in glass houses.

Muu: Trying to decide how I feel. Definitely one of my favorites of the group, but as for the verdict...? Maybe don't forgive, but with sympathy for her? I dunno. She's clearly a very complicated person. I'm easily won over by #girlboss #buggirl swag, though. I watched Mean Girls on a plane recently and learned afterwards there's a theory that Janice used to be a popular girl before becoming an outcast and I think it's hilarious that that's potentially exactly what happened to Mu. Except if, like, attempting to sabotage Regina's life via new student, Janice snapped and gored her with a boxcutter.

Shidou: If I'm being real it's still borderline impossible to tell what this dude even did with how vague and symbolism-based his PVs is. Like he definitely harvested organs or something but as for the actual details I've no damn idea. Either way I'm voting forgive, though, because he actively doesn't want us to and I think doing the opposite of what he wants is funny.

Mahiru: Forgive. She clearly wasn't the healthiest partner but seemingly the relationship she was in was unhealthy on both sides. She doesn't deserve to be called a murderer over whatever weird toxic codependent thing they had going on.

Kazui: Forgive. As far as I can tell, either he asked for a divorce or is gay, neither of which is a crime. I understand why he feels bad about it, but he barely even did anything.

Amane: Forgive. Self explanatory. Literal child in a cult. I get why people voted her guilty in round one to try and teach her a lesson about the toxic mindset she had drilled into her, but it clearly didn't work. Leave fixing that shit to the therapists and not to the prison system.

Mikoto: Don't forgive for being a Tumblr Sexyman. Another one whose deal I'm not sure I fully understand. I mean, clearly he has DID, but I also can't tell if it's the host or the alter who even committed the murder, nor whether the alter (if he did it) did it for a good reason or not. For now I'll say tentatively don't forgive, but if it comes out whoever he killed was like. A threat to Mikoto, then John was just kind of doing his job as a protector. But like I mentioned: I don't even know if he's the one who did it, so who friggin' knows. Not me, that's for sure.

Kotoko: Don't forgive. Killing predatory evil men or whatever was cool and based, but she very much crossed a line by beating the shit out of the other prisoners. Approving of her prior actions gave her a twisted god complex and the impression that it's morally correct for her to serve as judge, jury and executioner, which just isn't true. Vigilante justice is a dangerous road to travel down.

[bonesandthebees]

Good morning/evening. I think I figured out my mixed feelings on Tommy’s actions. They still make me uncomfortable as hell, mostly because we are in Wilbur’s head and it’s just his emotions carrying over. The thing that messed me up a bot was the fact that it caught me so of guard. Even with the foreshadowing, I was expecting Tommy to sit on that a little bit, but we got the name in the same chapter. And I just wasn’t expecting it to happen this way. I was expecting Wilbur to give out his name willingly after a lot of character development sometime far in the future. But chapter 8 made me realise that wasn’t going to happen and I think Tommy was convinced it was never going to happen. Which I tend to agree with because they were making zero progress.

So narratively, this is the only way to make progress. Tommy seems convinced of that too. Which is why he did what he did. Also, Tommy is a very perceptive kid and Wilbur can tell himself he’s not a person all he wants, but he still is one. And Tommy sees through that, he sees the person underneath that Wilbur is desperately trying to suppress. Because Wilbur is petty, but he has a sense of humour. He likes bread rolls so Tommy gets him a lot of those. He likes soft sweaters and the colour yellow. He even has a favourite sweater. (I love that outfit btw) Those are all very human things.

I’m also obsessed with this last line: [“It’s nice to finally meet you, Wilbur.”] I’m still having some difficulty interpreting it, but I feel like it’s either 1. just Tommy doing introductions now that he has a name for Wilbur (and knows it’s the right one). 2. Implies that Tommy is somehow seeing or meeting the real Wilbur for the first time. 3. An unspoken promise by Tommy that he’s going to get through to the real Wilbur and set him free. 4. Something else entirely.

Also, I want to clarify that while I don’t think Tommy is going about this the right way. I don't think there is a right way to go about this. And you could say the right way is waiting for Wilbur to come out of his shell himself, but if he’s been stuck and actively shoving himself in there for over a decade, it would take way too long to for him to come out himself if it ever happens at all. So Tommy has to force him out. I agree that that’s what should happen. Am I going to be comfortable watching it happen? Probably not, but that’s because you are really good at writing messy characters and like Stars this is a story about healing from you past trauma, not about how to do it in a healthy way cuz that rarily happens in real life too. Healing is a very messy process.

(1/2)

-🌲

yeah I think a lot of people were expecting there to be a ton of buildup to wilbur revealing his name on his own over the course of many chapters, and tbh that's what I was planning on doing originally. but then right around when I was writing the first chapter of glass, I came up with the idea for tommy to find out wilbur's name on his own (tbh eli birdfeet might've given me the idea they've helped with so much of the brainrot I can't always remember what was my idea and what was theirs lol) and I just decided I liked that way better. because it sets the stage for such an interesting kind of development. because they were making zero progress with the way things were going before and I wanted to show that this kind of progress isn't always easy and healthy especially in a situation like this.

and also tommy is an 18 year old. sure, a very perceptive and emotionally intelligent 18 year old, but an 18 year old nonetheless. he's not going to go about this in the healthiest way possible because he just doesn't know how. so things get messy.

(thank you I was proud of the outfit too when I came up with it lol)

it's kind of a combination of all 3 of those things. tommy is trying to emphasize that now he feels like he's really meeting wilbur for the first time since he knows his name and not just his title, it's also just an introduction for the sake of an introduction, and it's an unspoken promise. it was also just a cool line to end the chapter on lol.

yuppp there isn't really a right way to go about this especially in this situation. messy healing is so much more fun to write about than proper healing (although of course those narratives have their own upsides as well) so I'm just excited to explore how a situation like this will effect the way crimeboys relationship develops from here.

[k10kaneko]

im guessing you dont use tumblr anymore

part of me is glad youve moved on

i still keep looking at tumblr to see if you would post and at telegram to see if you might unblock me, hoping that gives me comfort because i interpret it as you thinking of me

i know its not the healthiest, but im coping

ive come to terms with the fact that you will never talk to me again

and that i wont know what dessert you will get for your birthday this year

but ill always think of the hojicha and matcha with oatside oat milk you love when i have my black coffee

and ill always carry a piece of you with me

i still order my chicha with no sugar, less ice

i still go to sushiro, and ill make it a once a month thing to get my sushi fix

i still think of how you add tabasco to everything when i eat miso soup and rice

i still make your 辣葱面

i still make tomato soup, but ill never know exactly how you like it.

even when i listen to music, play guitar,

and everywhere i go, i carry memories of us with me

i dont know what its like to move on. its easy to move on from everything else ive experienced in hindsight, when everyone else was toxic in some extreme way

but you werent.

yet i know you dont want me, im not stupid

i stayed and i didnt move on because a part of me holds on to the tiniest hope that someday, one random day you might change your mind, come back, and you will see me again and see how i was worth it all along.

ive rationalized moving on because i know my worth and i have a life to live without you

but i live on in this limbo, caught between the reality i know and the dreams i refuse to let go of

i keep telling myself to leave and move on, i deserve better, but everytime i try, my heart convinces me to stay for a while, just in case

i know its dumb to do so and i know im hurting myself

but the thought of giving up on you feels heavier than the pain of staying

so like i said i dont see myself being with anyone else for a while

and its not like there arent people out there who like me

its just that im unable to find romantic feelings in me for anyone else

ive been watching scum's wish in my free time now, i saw my young self in them and i see why it means so much to you

i also bought a self-help book about pain and overcoming it and ive been reading to calm my anxiety

some days i feel fine, good even. i did so good at floorball the other day, even better than me at my peak!

theres so many things i wanna tell you that i can only tell you cuz im not this comfortable with others

maybe someday i will be fine

until then ill be here hoping that day will come for me to chase you back

even though deep down i know that day will never come

[howling-medic]

Hello friend! How are you?

10) How does your OC handle their mental health? Do they take care of themselves?

11) What was your inspiration for your OC?

28) What clique would they be in?

30) My OC and your OC are friends. This isn't a question. I'm not asking. (How do they respond?)

Hello! I am doing as well as I can be with the fear of the Super Bowl looming over me! 😂😭

In all seriousness, I am actually doing pretty well at the moment! Let's talk about some OCs. I am trying to get a bit of a deeper understanding of one of my other ones, so I'm going to answer with both Sairiniel and Illiana as well on some of these.

10) How does your OC handle their mental health? Do they take care of themselves?

Sairiniel journals, a lot, and she writes letters to Aragorn and her few other close friends and her (found) family whenever she can - even when she doesn't know when she will be able to send them. It's a habit she learned from her brothers before they passed away. They told her it was a way of remembering all she wanted to tell them when they came home. She never stops writing to them, even after their deaths.

She also takes her emotions and compartmentalizes them until she fights. It's not the healthiest means by which to handle them, but it's all she knows. This presents a rather large problem when there's no more war to fight. She has a lot of learning to do when she finally finds peace.

In essence, she does a fairly poor job managing her mental health overall. It simply is not a priority for her because survival, hers and her peoples', occupied all of her attention. Journaling and writing letters are far from enough, especially when it isn't a conscious effort to manage her mental health.

Things do get better after she grows closer to Elrond and the twins, but even then she certainly has her ups and downs.

Illiana spends her life learning that women should be seen and not heard. Her upbringing stressed occupying as little space as possible, following every rule, and appearing perfect. Emotions, of any form, and her wellbeing matter very little. As such, all she knows to do is suppress them and handle them internally. She does a very poor job of this until Sairiniel and Aragorn take her under their wing. Ultimately, they learn together.

11) What was my inspiration for my OC? (oh gods above, this is a long one)

Sairiniel came about from a oneshot, one of my typically angsty oneshots, that was initially a reader insert. The reader started to take on more and more distinct characteristics - appearance based at first - and I realized that I was building a full character. The moment I realized I wasn't working on a reader insert anymore came when I started to write "Aragorn stared at the sword hanging above the bed. The cold light of dawn caught the diamonds set in the pommel. Her family crest. A star wreathed by pine boughs. He could picture the moment Sairiniel told him about the day she convinced her father to surrender it to her. When she told him of the pride she felt that day and the burden the sword represented. The promise she made to her father. There it hung, notched and barely clean enough to be returned to its scabbard." That section now sits in my "cut pieces" tab.

However, more to the point of the original question. I pulled some bits of my life into her; however, I think more than that is, in some senses, she is who I have needed at various points of my life and who I wanted to be when I was younger - at least to start. From there I pulled pieces of Éowyn, but very little all in all. I unconsciously pulled parts of Joan of Arc into her as well because I was listening to a podcast about her with my partner when I began this story. Undoubtedly there are Valkyrie influences as well given my beliefs. Essentially, she's a mash up of any number of inspirations, both real and fictional.

Illiana started out as a plot device and became a recurring character...who still is yet to be fleshed out enough to have any one inspiration. I think she may be the younger sister I never had and, therefore, could never corrupt - sadly.

28) What clique would they be in?

Sairiniel would likely be that theater kid who most everyone gets along with. She wouldn't necessarily be in any one clique. As a kid she wouldn't have been particularly social simply because she was kind of a menace of a child.

Illiana starts out as a teachers pet and becomes the preacher's daughter that's actually a fucking wild child, so whatever clique that person would be in

30) My OC and your OC are friends. This isn't a question. I'm not asking. (How do they respond?)

Sairiniel would be bound and determined to break Aranuir out of his shell if they met in their twenties, but only once she was comfortable enough to be anything other than single-mindedly focused on proving herself. I think she might scare him a bit at first at that point, though.

In her early twenties, she is...intense. Her grief and fear still rule her every action. It is only in rare moments she lets her guard down. In those moments, when she stops hiding behind her mask, the more impulsive of her side character really shows. She can be reckless (she never stops being reckless or impulsive), without the wisdom to counter it effectively. She's quite fun in those moments, but it's chaotic and volatile.

Under the current working layout of story, Elladan and Elrohir really help her settle into herself. Given their similar backgrounds of loss and pain, I could see Aranuir being another person who could help her learn balance and tools for managing grief. I'm not sure if that young version of Sairiniel would be one he would be drawn to, however.

Later in her twenties - with years to process her pain and learn to manage her emotions? I think they would be fast friends, and Sairiniel would love getting him into trouble. Absolutely adore it. And I think they would be incredibly good at helping each other learn to govern and lead.

But I think she would need time to heal before being a good friend to most anyone because she isn't one even to herself. She's a great soldier, she'll always have your back, but she isn't a great friend at first.

In her later years, after the war, from everything I know about Aranuir, they would get along great. She would love him being a little shit and would love to find all his buttons and push them relentlessly. If he asked if he's her favorite brother, he would get a playful shove with a roll of her eyes, then she would grin and Aragorn and say, "you know it - especially if he keeps stealing all the covers."

I am so sorry. These answers are as chaotic as my OC.

[chcrrybcmbs]

hunter paris - valmont connections .

NUMB  TO  THE  FEELING  :  heard  you  got  a  heart  ,  let  me  see  ,  i  need  you  to  split  that  thing  with  me  .  this  person  used  to  party  with  hunter  alot  ,  they  found  him  a  couple  years  ago  overdosing  during  a  yacht  party  he  was  throwing  since  then hunter  goes  back  and  forth  between  pretending  to  hate  them  and  opening  up  to  them  if  they  catch  him  on  the  right  day  --  they're  one  of  few  people  he  doesn't  feel  entirely  numb  around  . they easily get the best version of hunter anyone has ever gotten . they care about him and in his own weird way he cares about them too .   

NO  FRIENDS  :  walk  the  fuck  away  and  don't  look  back  ,  bitch  .  this  person  or  people  keep  trying  to  befriend  hunter  but  he's  not  known  for  being  the  most  friendly  guy  unless  there  is  something  in  it  for  him  .  he  gave  them  a  chance  at  one  point  but  they  backstabbed  him  ,  either  going  to  the  tabloids  about  something  or  just  got  caught  using  him  for  parties  or  his  money  and  he  cut  them  off  immediately  .  basically  they  run  into  each  other  regularly  but  he  attempts  to  brush  them  off  because  he  wants  nothing  to  do  with  them  but  they  just  won't  take  the  hint  .  

LIKE  A  ROCKSTAR  :  listen  to  my  words  '  dont  do  this  '  ,  yeah  ,  i'm  not  insecure  ,  i'm  stupid  .  he's  a  bad  influence  to  everyone  he  comes  across  ,  except  for  with  them  .  he's  not  entirely  sure  why  but  there's  an  innocence  about  them  that  he  actually  appreciates  .  i'm  thinking  they  either  are  starting  to  dabble  in  the  party  scene  /  getting  in  trouble  and  he  brings  them  out  with  him  to  kind  of  scare  them  straight  .  we  can  definitely  plot  more  of  their  dynamic  out  .   

RIGHT  HERE  :  you're  sitting  alone  ,  why  are  you  sitting  alone  ?  baby  ,  just  pick  up  your  phone  .  the  only  time  he's  ever  claimed  someone  and  given  them  the  title  of  girlfriend  was  with  her  .  they  have  this  really  toxic  on  again  -  off  again  relationship  that  seemingly  has  no  end  to  it  .  they  were  happy  once  and  that's  kind  of  what  they  chase  every  time  they  come  back  to  one  another  but  it  always  ends  with  unhinged  arguments  and  lashing  out  at  one  another  .  all  it  takes  is  one  of  them  to  pick  up  the  phone  and  they're  back  to  their  toxic  cycle  . the worst part is it's the healthiest romantic relationship he's ever had . 

ONE  OF  THE  GIRLS  :  tell  nobody  i  control  you  ,  i  broke  you  just  to  own  you  .  these  two  used  to  be  close  ,  literally  thick  as  thieves  .  probably  grew  up  together  ,  family  friends  ,  something  along  those  lines  .  they  know  some  of  each  other's  dirtiest  secrets  .  for  whatever  reason  their  friendship  was  starting  to  fall  apart  ,  recently  ,  and  he  knew  she  was  capable  of  ruining  him  in  more  ways  than  he  was  comfortable  with  .  he  knew  he  couldn't  let  her  have  anything  over  him  so  he  reeled  her  back  in  saying  he  loved  her  or  wanted  to  be  with  her  ,  whichever  .  basically  they  recently  hooked  up  ,  but  what  she  didn't  know  was  he  filmed  it  .  he  hasn't  told  her  about  the  sex tape  yet  but  he  plans  to  soon  when  he  also  admits  he  lied  to  her  just  to  get  her  to  sleep  with  him  .              

flings  /  one  night  stands  :  he's  been  attached  to  half  of  hollywood  at  one  point  or  another  so  give  me  all  of  them  .  maybe  they  hate  him  ,  maybe  he  hates  them  ,  still  hooking  up  ,  took  their  virginity  ,  someones  gay  /  bi  awakening  ,  were photographed hooking up on a balcony while on vacation , pregnancy  scares  ,  cheated  on  their  significant  other  with  him  ,  used  him  as  a  rebound  ,  give  it  all  to  me  .   

i  can  fix  him  :  this  person  is  convinced  they  can  change  him  and  make  him  fall  for  them  .  even  better  if  the  delusion  is  incredibly  deep  rooted  and  they  end  up  broken  hearted  in  the  end  .  

friends  :  this  can  be  a  broad  range  maybe  a  few  of  his  closest  friends  likely  has  been  friends  with  them  for  so  long  it's  more  like  chosen  family  at  this  point  ,  party  friends  they're  seen  going  out  to  the  most  popular  resturants  and  clubs  every  week  without  fail  and  it's  always  a  good  night  ,  fellow  models  he's  worked  with  ,  family  friends  .

clients  :  a  celebrity  tattoo  artist  needs  his  loyal  band  of  tattoo  obsessed  celebrities  .

enemies  :  he  doesn't  care  enough  about  anyone  to  consider  anyone  an  enemy  but  you  can't  be  as  much  of  an  asshole  as  he  is  without  a  few  people  hating  you  so  bring  them  my  way  .  maybe  he  beat  them  up  drunkenly  at  a  party  ,  banged  their  significant  other  (  or  parent  idk  )  ,  he  broke  their  heart  ,  or  embarrassed  them  in  public  ,  maybe  they  just  think  he's  some  snobby  brit  ,  the  sky  is  the  limit  here  .

pr relationship : i can see his parents trying to arrange one in hopes to settle him down or atleast give off the illusion that he's willing to settle down but odds are he'll ruin it within a week which could be messy and fun to play out .

TAKEN .

CHURCH  :  and  i'll  keep  leading  you  on  ,  if  you  keep  leading  me  into  your  room  .  these  two  have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  ,  definition  of  a  situationship  --   it's  going  nowhere  but  he'll  tell  her  just  about  anything  she  wants  to  hear  so  long  as  it  means  she'll  stay  on  call  whenever  he's  bored  or  isn't  hooking  up  with  someone  else  .  i'm  not  sure  anything  he's  ever  told  her  is  the  truth  ,  whether  she  believes  his  lies  or  just  plays  along  in  hopes  that  one  day  he'll  change  his  mind  is  up  for  plotting. ( taken by carmen rivera )

[spookyrobbins]

IMO Arizona gets it worst because of the fight after getting caught, Leah and s10. There’s no discussion WITH Callie about cheating. It’s Callie bringing her home because her dad cheated. Callie looks forced and Arizona is laughing about extra pillows with Leah in the room. A retcon miscarriage. Calzona buying a home. The HR complaint against Callie. Callie buying her ring. Calzona trying for a baby. When cheating is brought up in therapy we see Callie has not healed. Arizona looks like she wants to die. There’s no dialogue. IMO, Callie loves Arizona but it was not going to work and it showed throughout s10. S10 was two depressed women doing the best they can with their situation.

yeah there’s a lot of telling and no showing either calzona in s10 and the writers wrote themselves into such a hole with the initial cheating and they just kept panicking. the leah thing is just a mess on every possible level and it makes everything worse. i know a lot of people don’t love that calzona got divorced but in a way it was probably the healthiest option. the separation too, although not the weird no talking thing - just if calzona had taken some breathing room, they might have been able to be a bit more clear headed and direct.

imo s10 calzona is pretty irreparably broken. i mean they’re separated for nearly half a year i think. and they, like you said, never really resolve the cheating. plus you add in that they were both (probably arizona a bit more so) processing the miscarriage plus the ongoing issues from the plane crash, it’s just a mess. callie defs tries to force everything on her side and arizona just doesn’t want to rock the boat which sets them up for more failure. tbh calzona probably would’ve been better off divorcing early s10 and then spend the next few seasons letting them find their way back to each other. there’s so much hurt and anger and damage floating around on both sides that neither one of them can ever really get their head above water and they’re both constantly pulling the other under water, it’s a bad cycle.

this is defs part of the reason i’ve been struggling with the s10 you’re nothing part - calzona are both like wounded animals at that point and they’re both prone to lashing out and they both aren’t sure if they have a future anymore. it’s so easy to cross over from the sort of no man’s land they’re existing in to the point of no return.

i think i mentioned this a few days ago, but i really wonder if there would be a bit of a fandom flip if arizona hadn’t cheated. like if no one cheated in s9 (which obvs negates most of s10), would arizonas actions across s9 still be so hyper criticized or would callie catch more flak? i know that callie tends to be overall more beloved, but if arizona hadn’t cheated, i think callie would be on slightly less of a pedestal and arizona would be less of the perpetual villain. i think due to her longevity callie would still be more popular but there wouldn’t be that trigger point with arizona

[broken-everlark]

Exactly beast boy & raven are a perfect example of opposite attract but in a healthy way since raven didn't want to be that way anyway. Since they never actually happened, they are still healthier than wenclair would ever be. They are helping each other be better but not fully changing themselves for said person.

Exactly! Wednesday herself has shown multiple reasons why wenclair wouldn't be healthy. Even in an Addams family way they are still unhealthy as fuck. Because yes Addams family may be a bit kooky and scary but Gomez and Morticia are one of the healthiest and honestly adorable ships because they just adore each other so much and in their own dark way they are wholesome. Like I said I went into the show with 0 expectations & honestly I was expecting to hate it. But I loved what they did. I even love the side characters which I rarely do🤣

I'm so surprised that long time Addams family fans still like wenclair. Their only defense is that opposites attract🤣 or their hug scene or when Wednesday makes Enid mad, and she goes to stay the night in another friends room. Those two scenes literally can be explained so much easier than romance because I got 0 chemistry from them when I first watched this. Remember, I went into this show unbiased & not expecting a good show, so this is my honest first thoughts and they haven't changed. But the scene with Enid switching rooms for a bit & getting frustrated with Wednesday. Was to show that's all Wednesday did, push people away because of her stubborn and dark personality. Enid again wanted Wednesday to change, wanting her to be a bit nicer and stop being so weird (like you said, the taxidermy set & the guillotine). Things Enid doesn't like. But Wednesday, being stubborn and thinking she doesn't need to change ultimately was left alone. Made her think about her actions and how she treated her newly found friend. The hug scene at the end, honestly, is to show that Wednesday is trusting her, thanking her for saving them even if she was in a losing battle. Since the entire show, she barely trusts anyone and only one person, which was Tyler. But I still don't get how anyone can romanticize a hug scene. Not in a romantic way because wtf is romantic about a hug?

Exactly, small subtle things Tyler did too, like their date, he made sure to get black everything, even picking out a movie he knew she'd think is horrific. Like you said, he went along with everything she liked, never told her to fully change like Enid or Xavier. He told her to make up her mind about what she wanted. Not to change.

I never liked Joel, but he wasn't the worst. And again, everyone and their moms love Joel. I don't understand how they hate Tyler when Tyler is just as sweet and a normie boy until the end when the reveal is shown. But it makes Tyler better. A Hyde would fit perfectly with the Addams especially one as fucked up and tortured as Tyler. Morticia & Gomez seem like the perfect two to understand what he went through, and they seem like they'd be very understanding. To maybe help him through the mental part of being without a master since Faulkner's Journal said hydes will go insane without a master. Repeating what happened with Fran.

Exactly even the way Wednesday goes about it (yes, she does call him names or says some lines to try and irritate him. But she still knows what Laurel did. Even saw it in her vision, what she did to control him. I hope it wasn't sexually but it is hinted at that it indeed was physically, mentally/emotionally manipulated, and sexual torture. What pissed me off is that people don't even bother to think about the scenes he's in or EVEN THE DAMN TORTURE SCENE. THE SHOW GIVES US. They just ignore the fact that Tyler was emotionally manipulated by the thought of his mother, injected with poisons, and beaten down while chained up to a cave wall in the middle of the woods. Like he's a teenage boy! What the actual fuck?! And yet people call him a villain. The first thing I caught in the police station was Tyler's tears. And when you actually listen to his words, it's absolutely heartbreaking. Apparently people with only two brain cells can call this kid evil. When literally the show itself showed them multiple ways of how this kid is a fuckin victim! Even hinted at during the Rave'n & in Faulkner's diary. He looked uncomfortable when he was left alone with Laurel, and in the diary, it literally spells it out in words that hydes have to be tortured and manipulated to obey their master But I feel like that's the only way Faulkner tried. Apparently, they need it shot scene to scene in front of them because they can't just actually watch the show..

Honestly, I feel like wenclairs & Tyler haters didn't even watch the show or pay attention.

Honestly, people can ship what they want. I would never force petroclair on someone. I just see them as too wholesome and that's probably why people don't like them.

Yes, I get where you're coming from with Bianca and Lucas. I don't think they are dating at the end of the show. But if they do end up together, it better be something other than their both black. I think they could work just because Lucas only seems comfortable with two outcasts, Enid and Bianca. But they better show us how they could be good together and not just skip over them.

Wait, Bianca showed him the hideout? Did I miss that? Sorry it's been a long while since I rewatched Wednesday. I didn't think they were together in this season.

I mean I also would be perfectly fine with Bianca being independent and not wanting to date after Xavier because Xavier is the worst type of person, accusing her of using her song on him and fighting with her then when he's all depressed at the Rave'n he asks her to use her song on him like wtff. I could see why that one experience could push her away from dating. And I wouldn't mind Lucas just focusing on his fathers death or just not in the mindset to date. But I can somewhat see him with Enid. Like, he's my number 2 for Enid if Ajax wasn't a character.

Hell, some people ship Wednesday & and Bianca, which honestly it makes a bit more sense than wenclair, but again, they are both stubborn, and I feel like Bianca needs someone who's open emotionally. Needs someone to reassure her that she's not like her mother and her friends and her partner aren't with her just because of her siren song. Wednesday again doesn't fit that. Because she's not emotionally open to anyone. But I'd rather have Bianca be alone or with someone she actually makes sense with, someone that won't treat her like absolute garbage like Xavier did. Wenclay just doesn't fit as well for me because, again, both stubborn and someone is going to have to change. I like the rival/friends thing going on, and I'm glad the show gave Wednesday so many friends even if they don't fully like her or if they stem souly from Enid.

Can we talk about how Wednesday was in the most none triangle love triangle ever? Like, Wednesday and Tyler were doing their own thing meanwhile Xavier was just kind of there. Now if Wednesday liked Xavier too that would be a proper triangle, but that’s not what played out. She was always upfront with him that she was there for Tyler. He was just guy on the side who had a thing for a girl who’s into someone else. It was never a triangle. It almost confuses why anyone calls it a triangle at all.

[fangirlpostsfangirlthings]

Somewhere in Those Eyes

gif by @rocketjinx

summary: whereas everyone sees a dangerous and crazy, harm to society, you see a vulnerable girl who just wants to be loved.

warnings: self harm mentioned, angsty ig, barely proofread

word count: 1.7k

a/n: this is completely based off those scenes where she has THAT look on her face. she’s innocent your honor ☹️ (me when I feed into my delusions)

There's been quite a few instances when you've considered slapping a sticker on your girlfriend that read fragile.

And this is certainly one of those times.

Not that she's not strong or that she can't handle herself.

Well mentally- that’s exactly what it meant. She had trouble figuring out her feelings and finding the proper ways to express them. Ways that weren’t harmful to herself or others.

It was little inconveniences or side comments like she's not good enough or she messed everything up again that got Jinx in her head.

It was sick and twisted, people knew her upbringing, they knew exactly what triggered her. So why actively try to agitate her and get on her bad side, then go and complain about how horrible of a person she is? What sense did that make? Why make her suffer like that?

You hated people sometimes.

It wasn't her fault she was like this, she's a product of her environment. It's a mix of the people around her and the way she was raised by Silco.

It's not her fault.

Jinx was an amazing girl, so lovable and bubbly, sarcastic and funny, and not to mention super intelligent.

Oh and a bonus, she was the most beautiful girl to exist. You were sure of it.

How could anyone hate her?

You'll never understand it.

You followed Jinx to her “lair” after one of Silco's goons had manipulated her into thinking their failed mission was her fault.

Well. You followed her after you beat his face in, but that's not the point.

It was in fact his own fault. But he didn’t want to humiliate himself and knew it was easier to blame Jinx because everyone else would believe it.

Once you caught up, you could easily tell she was on the verge of a breakdown. Her eyes were welled up with tears, brows furrowed in upset. Her lips turned down and wobbling.

You kneeled in front of her, taking hold of her shaking hands that were covered in her black, leather gloves.

“Hey, look at me, yeah?" You pleaded softly.

Her eyes hesitantly met yours, face crumbling completely when she saw your worried expression.

"Hey, c'mere." You cooed and pulled her into your lap, keeping her as close as possible.

She needed this. She needed someone to console her before she could self destruct. You loved being that person as much as you hated it.

You loved her, and you’d do anything to help her heal, even if the process would be a long and grueling one. But you hated that you had to see her this way, wishing you could snap your fingers and take the pain away.

She just needed someone who had a lot of love to give, and patience. Luckily you had both of those.

As much as she didn’t believe it, she was easy to love.

•°•

You hated seeing her like this.

Jinx was screaming, yelling for the voices to go away, and throwing different objects across the room. Some flying off the edge and into the void of her lair.

But you had to let her do it. It wasn't the healthiest way to deal with her emotions but unfortunately, there wasn’t a better way to go about it. Unless you wanted to get hurt. And she wouldn’t hurt you, not on purpose anyways. But you didn’t want to startle her when she was so in her head like this. Jinx wouldn’t be able to trust herself if she hurt you. She’d blame herself, she’d believe even further that she was a monster and pull away from you. She’d be at a distance, and probably harm herself as punishment.

You couldn’t have that.

So as horrible as it was, it was the best way to get her to calm down when she was severely agitated like this. You just had to make sure she didn’t hurt herself.

It hurt you though.

Watching her do this to herself. But again, not even your soft and soothing words could bring her down when she was this in her head. So you had to wait it out for now. For now, you reminded yourself.

At a certain point you have to intervene and bring her back to herself.

This was Jinx. The person who came from misfortune, loss, and suffering.

You only had glimpses of Powder. When she'd excitedly wiggle her new gadget in your face, showing it off.

Or when she'd trip over her own two feet from merely walking.

As much as you hated to admit it to yourself, you missed the old her sometimes.

You wanted Powder back. Not because you didn’t want to deal with Jinx’s “crap.” But because Powder didn't go through an incredible amount of loss and pain, Powder didn't have the weight of guilt from her family's death looming over her.

It was tearing Jinx apart.

You loved all parts of your girlfriend. But when she got like this? It only did harm to your poor heart.

You watched as Jinx took a shuddering breath in attempt to keep herself together.

You ran and held her in your arms. She started crying, her body shaking violently from the aftershocks of her meltdown.

"It's okay, let it out," you spoke into her hair, your words barely above a whisper.

She dug her face deep into your neck. Her cries and soft pleas destroying you.

"Make it stop, please. Make it go away."

You couldn't take it.

She didn't deserve this.

You held her tightly in your arms, a hand running soothingly over her back while rocking your bodies.

She calmed down after a while.

You pulled her head back and brought your foreheads together, rubbing the undersides of her eyes to catch her tears.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

She shook her head, eyes closing, she just wanted to be with you. She wanted to focus solely on you and your soft hands, on the rhythm of your beating heart, your kind words.

And so you let her. You guided Jinx to the couch and pulled her to lay on top of you while her tears slowly came to a stop.

"You'll be here when I wake up?"

When were you not? And why would you ever want to leave her?

You nodded in reassurance, "I'll be here when you wake up."

She kissed your collarbone in gratitude, silently hoping it'll speak for itself. That it'll tell you all the things she can't bring herself to say.

Thank you for loving me. You mean everything to me. I don't deserve you.

•°•

This was your girlfriend. When she was free of worries and Mylo’s voice wasn’t bothering her. This was what you worked for.

She was purely content in swaying her pencil around and making noises as she distracted herself by imagining it to be a plane flying.

Soft pews rung in the air as she played with the pencil. It was healing to watch, even though your heart squeezed, it was a good type of pain. It was feeling love to the point of it being overwhelming.

You watched her inner child heal before your eyes, you watched as your girlfriend treated her pencil as a toy, enjoying it because her whole childhood was ripped away from her.

Something that was very common in the undercity.

But you couldn’t think about that now, only quietly huffing a laugh as she got right back to sketching her next- whatever it was she was coming up with today. All you knew when you peeked over her shoulder is that she was adding cat ears to it, you smiled.

You laid your palm on her table next to hers sketching, leaning your weight there.

Your bodies were nearly touching, both feeling the heat of each other.

She smiled at you, the goggles that lay on her head made a mess of her hair.

“Hiya toots,” you stomach filled with butterflies, brain going fuzzy all of a sudden as your mind blanked. All you could think about was how in love you were.

She hummed along to the music playing, bobbing her head to the beat.

She let out an approving hum to herself at the sketch she created, now getting up to gather the supplies needed.

You helped her grab some and sat on her chair, already reading the giddy look on her face.

She plopped down on your lap, her cheerful mood turning more ecstatic. Her once soft and content smile now beaming.

You loved that look on her face. You loved being the reason for that look on her face.

You wrapped your arms around her torso and squeezed lightly, tugging her against you to be as close as possible. You noticed how her cheeks tinged bright red when your chin rested on her shoulder, trying to get a good look at her pretty face.

Jinx shook her head, trying to hide her giddy expression by pushing her hot cheek to your forehead, but it was too late.

“It tickles,” she giggles out.

“What tickles?” You unwrap your arms momentarily, gently tapping your fingers against her stomach. She flinches and squeals, pushing your arms away while also pushing her body from yours. You pull her back, resuming your position in cuddling.

“You silly. I meant my stomach. It was already tickling before you did that.”

What was she talking about?

“Care to be a little more specific? I’m not quite understanding what you mean…” you said in a teasing manner but fully meaning it.

“The butterflies.” Oh…

Oh!

You wanted to die, the strong affection and love you felt for her was suddenly too much.

You did that to her, you had that affect on her.

You were fully convinced you’d do anything for Jinx. Anything to keep that giddy smile on her face. She wanted the last toy that was taken by that kid? Sorry little guy. Someone talked bad to or about her? You won’t here from them again. She gets angry at the the rickety, old street lamp that’s been there for years because she wasn’t paying attention and crashed into it? Guess that’s one less light down in the streets.

The point is.

Jinx wasn’t the horrible villain that Zaunites depicted her to be. Maybe she wasn’t innocent, but she was still just a girl in this fucked up world that forced her to be this way. A girl that deserves good after all the bad she’s been through.

You were on her side, and you always will be.

you can find my other works here: jinx masterlist