#but i think its quite common for fandom to take headcanon and run with it

[z-eusie]

I think there will always be a difference to me between the Gods (historical, religious) and the gods (narrative). on one hand I fully acknowledge that gods are a product of their time period, of the historical, cultural, and religious context of their era and that it can be irresponsible to assign morality or personality to them outside of that context. I acknowledge that the gods are powerful, significant deities upon whom my own 'silly headcanons' have no merit. the gods in their original context are beings I would never claim to understand or represent in any way resembling accuracy.

but I think the gods in a narrative context, as representations of concepts, as representations of important lessons and 'archetypes' (in a manner of speaking) are completely different. these are the versions I play around with, the ones I assign a level of humanity that might be unbecoming of their true selves. narratively, I'm going to write the gods in my own context, with human values and experiences. it's not meant to be a true representation of the gods in their original contexts.

I think it's important to acknowledge a) why these figures are significant and where that comes from, but also to b) find ways to connect to them on our own terms. and I do that by writing them in my little stories, portraying the humanity of them in every way I think they could be capable of.

[sneezemonster15]

I'd give you an analysis, but frankly from what I've seen from your own "analysis" you're not very good at reading

also if you'd be so kind to tag this as mha spoilers, or screenshot this ask and put it under a read more so i dont spoil anyone who's interested in reading mha. it'd be greatly appreciated

(also thanks for getting rid of anon, this time i will include pics !)

anyway, this is the "straight dude who is having a typical cutesy high school het romance with a girl in a taken for granted het world." you're talking about;

also i wont lie, calling mha a het world when these are real dialogue is highkey stupid:

and i know the topic at hand is s/n/s and bk/dk but lets pivot to tg/chk bc theyre more relevant to what im saying

theres a lot to say but honestly, the manga speaks for itself :)

oh and also, you're right, bk/dk has no romantic subtext - it has romantic text. no subtlety needed! :) that is, if you have read the manga - my favourite example is this:

and then shgrk then proceeds to kill bkg, who "dies" (sort of) thinking about izuku in his final moments:

and then izk loses control when he sees bkg "dead" on the ground

and these are from recent chapters! imagine the rest of the series, ey

well! that got long. i'd tackle your crappy assessment of deku's character, but then I'd be here all day!

anyways, if i were you, I'd reread mha and really really understand the text you're reading. you might end up seeing something you missed at first!

Aiyyo someone got triggered! Hehehe. Ah it was inevitable that the moment I talked about MHA and rejected shippy head canons from the show, some delusional hardcore shipper would get all up in arms. Sigh.

You think what you wrote is analysis? Hehehe.

So just some random panels and chapter covers from the manga prove Bakugou or Deku is gay? Lol. I have seen fans like you in Naruto fandom as well. But you are right, I am not as invested in MHA, because it just doesn't have the versatility and genius of Naruto and Shippuden, it is actually quite a straightforward story and I don't need to burn a lot of my braincells to 'get it'. Lol. I am not saying it's bad, but as compared to its contemporary mangas, it just isn't at par for my tastes. It's good for entertainment but it doesn't affect me like other mangas that it takes inspiration from. Some silly shipper telling me I can't read, I would tell you my credentials but nah, too much work for disproving silly ass headcanons.

Fans make comparisons between Naruto and BNHA because Horikoshi is inspired by Kishimoto, definitely some similarities are there, but it misses on the most crucial point. Naruto and Shippuden are love stories. BNHA is simply your typical shounen manga. Naruto and Shippuden use the narrative tool of subversion to tell a love story in the restrictive genre of shounen. It has multiple layers and you need presence of mind to see them. Naruto is gay and you see comphet in his character, his interest in Sakura looks superficial from the beginning and then in kage arc, it is concluded as a mere cover to run from confronting his dilemma, and closetedness. His character is consistently shown as having an internal fight, a dilemma. Sasuke is just on your face, he is clearly shown as having no interest in women, but with Naruto he is especially intimate on his own accord. Ya know, using random panels ain't gonna help, you need to establish it in the narrative. Headcanons are all nice to entertain when that's all you watch media for, shipping. But please to be showing more maturity and media comprehension when sending me an ask, I am not very sympathetic to gaslighters whose heads are filled with shippy shit and cheap self gratification. When I talk Naruto, I make comparisons with other clearly gay media, and point out the common tropes, it's a result of expansive research. Not just random panels that prove nothing. Little one, you need more than that to prove your theories. I have watched a wide range of media, including gay media, your ask is just representative of your ignorance and lack of knowledge about how storytelling and character building works. Heh. Or do you think BNHA has its own concept of homosexuality, its own private language that cannot be compared with how other media establishes homosexuality in a given universe? Yeah, solipsistic ideas like that cannot be taken seriously.

Conformity is one of the pillars Japanese society is built upon, so it's not surprising that Japanese media talks upon how anything that doesn't conform to the norms is rejected. Their media is representative of their society. Mha also touches upon that and there's no surprises there, but again, you need more than that to prove it in the course of plot building and narrative. Some random out of context panel about some character saying something about conformity proves your point? You need to SHOW it and not just tell. But where other mangas, great mangas, popular and critically well acclaimed mangas have explored this idea in detail, MHA is just touch and go. It doesn't entertain a balanced proper discourse on it. It is truly shounen in that sense. Again, I am not saying it is bad, it is just more age appropriate. Which is totally fine. Do you know how heteronormativity is established in the narrative? Like this. Show me where this happens in MHA. Lol. Sweetheart, if the writer had made any attempt to write this world as heteronormative, where gay characters face challenges, I would have seen it. But mha is just not that deep. Sorry to burst your bubble. But that's just a fact.

Seriously, you are going to give me the example of Toga? I haven't gone through the recent chapters yet. I have only watched the anime. But it is clear that, that girl is medically insane. Her idea of liking someone is to kill that person and drink their blood, for her own pleasure. She ain't a homosexual, more like hemosexual. Hahaha. Again, you gotta show me the trajectory of her character, start with the base and show me how it escalates, how does she learn better about herself, her own feelings, the world from her perspective. No character is isolated, any writer who is talented enough to write multimillion franchise knows that. Don't project your assumptions on the story and the characters, work with what you have and draw the meaning from what's given, not the other way round.

There is no doubt Izuku and Bakugou have a strong relationship, even if it is mostly rivalry. But one can see that Bakugou cares about Deku and vice versa. Before telling me how to read, perhaps you should have done it yourself. Lol, I see this type of behaviour a lot from typical silly shippy shippers. "What, did you just say my ship makes no sense? 🤬"

Read.

Do you even know what subtext or text is? Hahah. This is text and subtext. So just because Bakugou and Deku talk about their rivalry in their vulnerable moments, that the audience knows as congruent since we have already seen they have a hot and cold relationship but that they are friends nonetheless, that proves they love each other romantically? You obviously don't know how romance tropes work. The dynamic between two men who respect and admire each other is always shown with a lot of empathy in Japanese media. It is one of the founding pillars of shounen, a genre meant for teenaged boys. They are certainly closer to each other than they are with women they are interested in, but a lot of fans such as yourself misinterpret it as romantic, because headcanon goggles. No, you gotta have more than that. Where Naruto and Shippuden have it in truckloads, none of that in BNHA. Deku is heterosexual af. If he is so interested in Bakugou, how come he reacts the way he reacts to Uraraka? Where is his conflict? Where is his dilemma? His affection and romantic interest in Uraraka is genuine and sincere, not a cover to hide his more private feelings. Unlike in Naruto's case. Kishi uses clever narrative tricks and tools to tell his love story in shounen and he does it skillfully. His motives and intentions are clear as water. He uses inventive smokescreens and red herrings to escape from being too controversial and colour inside the borders of shounen, nothing like that in BNHA. To begin with, Horikoshi doesn't even delve into the sexualities of his characters, because his story is not about that. There's no context, no set up, nothing. His worldbuilding is simply conventional, by which I mean heteronormative, there's no talk about sexual orientation of characters. You see the usual shounen perviness by Mineta and Kaminari and typical straight girls going kawaai over good looking boys like Todoroki, what impression does that give? If Horikoshi wanted to establish his characters being gay, he would have set up the context mindfully and carefully, like Kishi did. Gay relationships and characters can't be shown so explicitly in shounen as that would jeopardize its distribution in the west. Reason? Censorship. That's why Kishi had to be so careful, his target audience might not get it, but the adults do. Well, unbiased adults do, at the very least. So the boys in bnha are gay just because? Because you want them to be? Storytelling and character building doesn't work like that.

Seriously everything you think works as 'analysis' isn't even valid. I honestly didn't even want to respond to this ask, given it's so surface level and ridiculously simple minded. Perhaps you are a tween or teen who thinks every time two boys or girls smile at each other or rescue each other, they are gay and in love. Lol, watch gay media. Like actually watch it and see where your arguments stand in the scheme of things. I will tell you, nowhere. Juvenile kiddy stuff. I won't entertain anymore asks like these, they are a waste of my time.

[memryse]

The magic of 3rd Life, or why such a simple hardcore miniseries works as well as it does

For a series which only lasted for eight sessions, 3rd Life has had a profound impact on the MCYT fandom. While it did go comparatively unnoticed on Twitter (as is consistent with YouTube-based Minecraft content as a whole, admittedly), Tumblr and other platforms have fallen in love with this series, and it’s become a vector for many fans to familiarise themselves with Hermitcraft and Empires SMP as well. But at its core, 3rd Life is a simple vanilla survival series with a gimmick. What about it resonates so much with so many people?

I would argue that its simplicity, its small cast, its vanilla gameplay “with a twist” is certainly part of it. It’s an easy series to consume, with many POVs totalling four hours or less, and it doesn’t require any prior knowledge of any of the members. Its mechanics are easy to understand. As a standalone, it functions perfectly – it’s immersive and can be followed easily by anyone, regardless of any prior knowledge they may or may not have. However, these factors alone don’t quite encompass what makes 3rd Life so special. Its true charm point lies in the format of the series, and how well it utilises improv.

[more below the cut; this is a fairly long post about 3rd/Last Life meta and my love of its improv. I'm mostly talking about 3rd Life here as it's a completed series, but this most definitely does apply to Last Life as well]

3rd Life is an entirely improv-based series. Whilst members may have a brief concept of the direction they’d like to take their series in – how heavily they want to roleplay, for example – the actual content of each session is fully improvised. Each episode is recorded in one three-hour block, and members are not allowed to play on the server outside of the allotted time other than specifically to finish builds. This time constraint prevents any planning from going into each episode, and interactions between players are completely spontaneous. Players simply run around the map looking for others to interact with (which is significantly easier with the limited world border) and chat about various events on the server, form alliances or deals, etc.

By definition, this almost completely negates the possibility of bad writing. Each player’s reaction to any server event is spontaneous, a legitimate reaction; they aren’t trying to play any specific roles or shoehorn in any specific events (with the exception of the Red King/Hand of the King roles, who were still completely improvising). Even the finale – a distinctly heart-wrenching and tragic scene – was improvised without Grian or Scar attempting to tell any specific story. According to Martyn, they weren’t roleplaying, they didn’t have any aims with that scene. It just happened to turn out in the way that it did, and they were legitimately sorry to one another. The server progressed in this natural way, and every person’s perspective tells a completely different story. It’s hard to identify any specific heroes or villains – fans of the Dream SMP can surely relate to this feeling, but I would argue that 3rd Life takes this one step further. 3rd Life is a tragedy from all perspectives, a tragedy which tells one cohesive story in its entirety before stopping as abruptly as it began.

3rd Life hinges entirely on its interactions between its members. Whilst solo content does exist – base building, for example – the majority of each session is spent interacting with others. 3rd Life is carried by its dialogue; nothing else drives the story, and yet many episodes are between 30 minutes and an hour long. It’s that dialogue-heavy. Members of the server have expressed trouble with even editing their videos because there is so much key dialogue that they don’t want to cut. People don’t watch 3rd Life for the actual gameplay, at all – there’s so little of it! They watch it for how each member interacts with the people around them. This is something not found in any other SMP I’ve encountered. SMPs livestreamed on Twitch have plenty of downtime, and people will happily watch streams on that SMP no matter what’s occurring on the server; people often watch them for their interest in specific members. Other currently popular YouTube SMPs, namely Hermitcraft and Empires, are well-balanced between solo content and interactions, and all server content hinges on the members’ various skills like building and redstone. 3rd Life is, to my knowledge, the only SMP which does not rely on building or redstone skills (what’s the point, when they’ll be dead the next week?), it doesn’t rely on the creator doing solo work talking to their chat, it doesn’t rely on planned roleplay. People legitimately just want to hear various members talking to each other. It’s a fascinatingly unique series in this regard. This dialogue-heavy aspect of 3rd Life ties back to my earlier point about 3rd Life feeling like a completely different series from all perspectives; with all of this dialogue being conveyed through proximity chat, so many events are entirely left out of other POVs, or presented in very different lights.

The pure improv format also helps significantly with worldbuilding, whilst also leaving plenty to the imagination. MCYT fandoms always require a significant amount of imagination to become invested in them, let alone make fan content of them, and 3rd Life is no exception to this. As discussed in this post, which was incidentally the inspiration for me to write this one, 3rdLife is full of lines which flesh out the series, which illustrate what happened better than can be shown in Minecraft. These lines are improvised on the spot, and are often complete throwaway lines in the creators’ eyes. In the fans’ eyes, they make 3rd Life feel alive, they provide plenty of material on which to base headcanons. Again, this isn’t necessarily unique to 3rd Life, it’s a common aspect of all Minecraft series, but I think this is where the rather angsty nature of 3rd Life comes into play. A dramatic survival game, entirely unscripted, with all events hinging entirely on your interpretation of them? It’s not hard to see why 3rd Life fans are so creative with character designs and fanfiction – hell, a lot of 3rd Life fics simply narrate canon in their own more dramatic light. Canon-compliant fics are significantly more common for 3rd Life than other fandoms I've encountered, because people hear these simple lines and want to dramatise them, put their own spins on them. I don't feel that this would be possible with any other series, not to the extent that 3rd Life fans do it. Other series' canon is either already dramatic, and so rehashing it can feel repetitive, or so lighthearted that people write AUs/new storylines. 3rd Life strikes a brand-new balance.

The development of its characters is also bolstered by improv. As no events on the server are pre-planned, members have to react completely spontaneously to anything that occurs. They don’t get time to think – only to react as though they genuinely were in that situation. As I said at the start, 3rd Life inherently lacks bad writing, because it’s not written. Ren, for instance, began 3rd Life as a kind and harmless person, with others often walking right over him. His reaction to his death by Grian and Scar’s trap spurs him to become the Red King; he raises an army and goes to war, and ends the series having taken countless lives, becoming hardened by war. He begins Last Life by isolating himself from others, seeming jaded and unwilling to form alliances, ready for another war to break out. Being improvised, it’s impossible to say how much of this was deliberate, or if Ren just started building his base without thinking about continuity from the previous season. This improv is what makes it feel so natural. It isn’t planned beforehand. This is Ren’s natural reaction to starting Last Life. It makes his character feel so much more real than it would if this was all scripted beforehand.

3rd Life is, overall, a testament to the power of improv. It manages to be compelling and dramatic without any acting feeling forced or wooden. Its characters’ arcs feel natural, because they are natural. Placing such a heavy emphasis on dialogue, with the gimmick of the server being a vehicle for interactions to happen rather than the sole appeal of the series, makes it truly feel as though we’re getting a glimpse into the characters’ lives, rather than watching a story which has been written beforehand. We get to watch everything unfold in real time. 3rd Life has a magic to it that, to my knowledge, no other SMP has been able to recreate.

[doodledrawsthings]

Oh The Humanity! AU  Masterpost

Hi! Making a masterpost for this AHiT AU so y’all have one place to just find all the important bits that I and other folks in the fandom have done for this AU! Everything will be under the read more

AU Premise: Snatcher steals a time piece from Hat Kid and Bow Kid to mess with them. He tries to use it during one of the Death Wish fights, but turns out the particular time piece he stole was faulty/ something was up with it/ he broke it in a weird way that really messed it up. Because of this, when he broke the piece, instead of rewinding time back a few minutes, it sent his form back about 300 years, returning him to human form, but with all his present memories. Now, he’s stuck as a human as and has to wait for the Time Traveling Alien Kids to fix the time piece and return him to normal, while also being forced to confront his past.

You can find most of this in the tag #oth!au. I will also be updating this as new stuff gets added or if I find that I’ve missed something. Let me know if there’s something I missed that you’d like me to add, cuz boy howdy i didnt realize how much is stuffed into this AU, and I dont remember what I’ve already said and what I’m saving for future stuff:

Significant Events in the Main Timeline story (these are kind of in order and kind of not. There’s more to be added, just not yet):

this au has a bunch of different endings thanks to the lovely ahit fandom’s contributions.

This all happens sometime after This comic. So, by the time OTH!AU happens, Moon and Snatcher are at least on“awkward acquaintance” terms with eachother and snatcher is trying to be nicer to him. He’s still got his moments of being rude and snappy tho, but thats just because he’s snatcher.

The first actual post i made In regards to this AU+ @positive-polygons​ comic interpretation of the beginning of the AU. He breaks a weird time piece he stole and he reverse ages back to being alive again. : Link Link1 Link2 Link3

Snatcher asks moonjumper to watch over Subcon while he’s stuck like this Link

Bow takes him to Nyakuza Metro to get new clothes. He trashes the Prince get-up as soon as possible. Link

Arctic Cruise Arc Link1 Link2 Link3 Link4

Some comics, they learn his name is luka at some point

Moonjumper is taking care of Subcon. They do things way differently than snatcher but they’re trying their best. 

Cooking Cat comes by to cook and help out. She’s very motherly to everyone. She’s taken Mu on as an apprentice, so she’s usually there with her whenever she drops by.

The birds are wrapping up a collab movie. The main cast are invited to the premier party, as Hat and Bow acted in the film. Snatcher gets to wear a nice suit and he has some interaction with the conductor and grooves. Link Link

at multiple points, MJ checks in with snatcher for status reports on how subcon is doing. This is usually where their bonding moments happen and they become less and less awkward with each interaction.

At some point around mid to late story, they find out that Subcon is starting to freeze over again. Snatcher was the only one who could melt the ice so this now gives them a time limit.

The Mirror incident Link Link  second fic by @greentrickster​

as snatcher gets along with the kids more, they remake his mailman hat so he can use badges and equip him with his own umbrella. Link Link

at some point snatcher realizes he doesn’t wanna go back to being a ghost.

Main-timeline ending is a Boss battle with Vanessa. Link

General Headcanons:

Almost everything you need to know about moonjumper and the prince and vanessa’s relationship Link

Snatcher and Vanessa have known eachother since they were kids. Their marriage was arranged, but they were good friends

OTH! Snatcher is aroace 

about snatcher’s feelings on defeating vanessa (*human!/final boss vanessa ending) Link1 Link2

This fic has a really good interpretation of the horizon that I’ve pretty much adopted, myself. Link

regarding snatcher’s expression of empathy and emotion both as a human and as a ghost Link1

Snatcher gradually takes on a fatherly role towards the girls. He is constantly trying to deny it as he comes to realize it but eventually accepts it. 

he’s actually pretty graceful with the umbrella  Link Link

Hat kid’s a good leader, but she can often be reckless and stubborn. Significantly more chaotic of the two space gremlins. She’s a lot like snatcher in a lot of ways, and because of that they are constantly butting heads but they get along better as Snatcher both gets used to being human and grows fonder of the two girls. She’s a bit closer to Snatcher, having been the most adamant about being his friend (initially out of spite but yknow) and they have a lot in common. 

People frequently mistake snatcher for being Hat Kid and Bow Kid’s visiting father. They usually comment on how much he looks like he could be HK’s biological dad. Both are in denial of this throughout the main timeline of this au. It’s a running gag. Link

snatcher is sometimes completely oblivious when he enters Dad Mode sometimes

Bow, on the other hand is generally a bit more shy and careful than hat kid is. She tends to take the passenger seat, taking on a more supportive role. She’s also way more polite. In this sense, she has more in common with moonjumper, and gets along with them quite well and she frequently goes to visit him the most often, on her own.

 Her and snatcher’s relationship kind of parallels snatcher’s relationship with MJ. Snatcher, having once been a big jerk to these kids, is now trying to teach bow to take more of a leading role and be more confident.

as this au takes place not long after the Clearing Incident comic, Snatcher and MJ’s relationship is a bit awkward in the beginning. Over the course of the AU their relationship would build up to be more brotherly.

the subconites like moonjumper but they miss their boss. MJ spoils them tho, which they appreciate and occasionally take advantage of Link Link

moonjumper learns to stand up for himself, snatcher learns to be more vulnerable

moonjumper is the badgeseller. Only hat, bow, and snatcher know this. 

snatcher very much enjoys feeling warm, its one of few saving graces he clings too in the stressful early part of the story.

snatcher doesnt like looking at himself in this AU. He’s very self-conscious about his “pathetic human body.” He doesn’t like being pitied and he doesnt like being seen as weak.

snatcher frequently has nightmares about his past.

after recieving the mailman hat, people start refering to him as The Mailman. Link

his voice frequently cracks a lot, especially in the beginning, since he keeps trying to use his Loud Ghost Voice, which can do a number on human vocal chords. Link

the kids bully him constantly Link Link Link

his arc is that he learns that it’s ok to be human and it’s ok to be vulnerable and to open up to people, and he learns to accept his past and who he used to be

the girls accidentally call him dad sometimes, which freaks him out at first, but he gets used to it eventually. Link

he adopts them, for sure, it just happens post- whatever ending.

beard. Link

Spin-off AUs, Alt Endings, and Fanfics, Oh My!:

That ending where habijob kills moonjumper  Moonjumper goes to fight Vanessa, alone. In one version they win, and in another, they lose, and snatcher has to return to ghost form to retrieve them from the horizon. by @habijob  Link Link Link 

From The Horizon fic by @greentrickster Link

@lindendragon‘s hypothetical endings where snatcher is captured by vanessa Link Link

@fedoraspooky‘s spinoff au where the timepiece takes him back even further and turns him into a kid Link Link

@positive-polygons‘s Vanessa Spinoff Link

@doodleimprovement‘s Royal ending Link

@erekiosuncreativeideas​‘s fanfic, Being Human, her version of the au’s story in chronological order starting from when he breaks the timepiece Link

@lemonadesoda​’s Fanfic series, And I Don’t Think You Hate This As Much As You Wish You Did, fills in and expands upon the ideas in  my comics for the AU Link

[bigskydreaming]

#when i read about tim i often kind of come to the idea that he's relatively self centered#and that can be both a flaw and a strength#but he doesn't often consider other people's feelings and circumstances#like when dick made damian robin he didn't really consider the situation from anyone else's view#or in his origin story#he doesn't seem to consider how dick would feel about hearing how tim was affected by dick's parents' death#or with the spyral situation#or in regards to him earning robin#and its pretty consistent in fandom characterization even if a lot of writers don't seem to be aware of it#its interesting cause i think its something i think he has in common with bruce#its honestly a surprisingly consistent thing from what i see#and it can be a strength to#it can absolutely lead to some confidence and self actualization#as well as being able commit to fixing something and working hard at it#because you believe you can and don't think anyone else can/will do it via @emenerd

Y’know, what’s interesting to me about these points is the fact that like.....Tim having tendencies towards self-centeredness is actually something that COMPLETELY makes sense and can be quite sympathetic in light of his backstory of having neglectful parents.

In an age of armchair diagnosticians eager to label anyone who expresses a controversial viewpoint while centering themselves as an example, as like, having a narcissistic personality disorder (and with the loaded implication that this makes them a bad person even if its true, instead of just....having a disorder, yay weaponizable ableism) like, it can be important to add in distinctions that even tendencies that share overlap with a lot of things born of entitlement, etc....aren’t always necessarily proof of that.

For instance, in Tim’s case, an overemphasis on himself and his own position in situations and arguments can very reasonably be attributed as a coping mechanism he developed in an attempt to acknowledge and address self-esteem issues he sees himself as having, DUE to parental neglect.

Its not that he thinks he’s the most important person in the room, necessarily, its that he spent so many years not even being considered a person in the room, that now he OVERCOMPENSATES on his own behalf, in an attempt to remind himself that no, his opinion and feelings and situations do matter.....and because he like most of the Bat-characters has a tendency towards hyper-fixating on a problem they’re trying to address, this can also understandably create a kind of tunnel vision. Where he’s so busy focusing on what he’s diagnosed as an actual issue he has that he’s trying to address or make up for, in order to build up his self-esteem....that he neglects to keep everyone around him equally centered in his interactions with them, and remember that like, they have their own issues and ignoring that to focus entirely on his own runs the risk of negatively impacting them in the exact same way he’s still learning to cope with having been negatively impacted in his development as a child.

None of this makes him a bad person, or is stuff that can’t be addressed and developed just by paying the appropriate attention to it and his interactions.

SO the issue I tend to more often have....

Is with how often in fandom and fanon we hear references to Tim’s neglect and emotional abuse and how this impacted him.....much in the same way we see Jason and Cass and Damian and Dick’s various forms of abuse and the developmental impact it had on them....

BUT there tends to then be a disconnect, IMO, because that acknowledgment of the WHAT of Tim’s neglect and abuse and the HOW it hurt him.....isn’t often followed up by an examination/awareness of how it also SHAPED him.....at least, not compared to how discussions/fics about say, Jason’s abuse tend to point out the latter as much as the former.

And this is a big part of my gripe with the ways abuse is centered and tackled as a topic in fics and fandom discussions, because its so often capitalized upon as a defense or shield for a character from criticism, stuff like that.....without ever actually EXPLORING the topic itself, or the FULLNESS of the impact it can have.

But only in regards to some characters.

What I mean is like....we see a lot of focus on Jason’s childhood abuse, yeah? And this often is then connected through headcanons, meta and fics to various aspects of Jason’s characterization as a teenager, and as an adult as well.....with a tendency towards anger or violence, abrasive personality, etc. Don’t get me wrong, its usually presented as such in a SYMPATHETIC light, especially when raised by fans of Jason themselves.....but his abuse is very much present and centered in fics and discussions as something that not only impacted him and made him suffer, but something that actually shaped him to varying degrees as well....with a lot of focus then in fics of him as an adult, like, paid to him going to therapy and unpacking his childhood abuse in an effort to WORK on these aspects of himself that make his present day life harder or less healthy than he’d like it to be. The issue of how his abuse lent itself to various behaviorisms is raised in order to address various byproducts of his abuse as FLAWS that he seeks to eliminate, in order to make himself happier and make himself someone that people want to be around more.

And again, don’t get me wrong - for the most part, this is a GOOD thing. The caveat here is just a personal dislike I have for how often these narratives smack of a kind of saviorism, and act like it was only through the grace of Bruce and becoming part of the Batfam that Jason’s ever afforded the opportunity to better himself as a person. I dislike the hell out of this because it not only pairs all too well with a lot of classist shit, it feeds into the singular narrative we’re so often presented with by media about abused kids: the myth of the victim being destined to become a victimizer, it all being an inevitable cycle. The reason this myth is so easily perpetuated is the exact reason I’m so critical of the saviorism in a lot of abused-Jason fics.....people can very easily fall into the trap of assuming that abused kids are likely to grow up to be abusers because they never have anyone to TEACH them that abuse is wrong, or to lead by healthy example. 

The harm of this perception is that it kinda throws under the bus every kid who never lucks out and gets a Bruce Wayne style savior swooping in to not only save them from their abusive environs, but TEACH them that they deserved better and that abuse is wrong. 

Because its like, uh, the thing is, plenty of abused kids who never get a personal mentor or savior figure are fully capable of figuring out for themselves that they deserve better and that people hurting them is wrong, because it makes them feel bad and they don’t like that? 

Many abused kids don’t grow up in a media vacuum where they simply have no access to glimpses of lives different from their own.....we see kids having happier, healthier family lives on TV or in books and are able to figure out that society overall thinks that’s what family is SUPPOSED to look like, and its ours that is the aberration? 

The very fact that we’re taught or have it instilled in us by abusive parents that like, we’re not to bring up instances or examples of our abuse to teachers or friends, that its a SECRET, is like, usually a dead giveaway that there’s something WRONG with it that we’re being instructed - and enforced with abusive consequences - to keep from alerting others to....like, this is basically a blaring siren to a lot of us that no, what’s happening to us ISN’T normal and acceptable, and that’s literally WHY the parent we’re afraid of is so insistent on us keeping the facts of it hidden? 

And so like, tons of abused kids figure out for ourselves the difference between right or wrong, based off nothing more than our own feelings about things and a desire to not be like the people who make us feel miserable - like, never underestimate the power of spite to like, keep a kid from growing up doing the same thing to others that was done to them, lol. 

But point being, lots of kids never get a Bruce Wayne figure to take them away from their abuse and also teach them that they never deserved it and how not to pass the hurt forward by doing the same things to others. And its kinda condescending as fuck that we so often see narratives that take it as so obvious it barely merits commenting on, that like, ‘of COURSE abused kids grow up to become abusers if they don’t have someone else step in and show them a better way’....mmm, no. Fuck that. But you get what I mean.

So like, its a mixed bag. Its a good thing, to see Jason-centric stories that show him addressing his childhood and seeking just a more fuller, happier, healthier life for himself. Its a less great thing to see this narrative presented as all encompassing, with it never being raised that no, Jason actually could figure out he deserved better and how to treat people in ways he’d want to be treated even without a billionaire guardian angel.....NOT because the narrative wherein someone helps an abused kid figure out what was wrong about how they were treated is like, NEVER valid....but rather it just becomes a problem when looked at as a data point against the larger tapestry of fandom-wide works....and noticing that this specific narrative is pretty much the ONLY one raised or treated as valid. With it just being ASSUMED to be the natural course of events and characters, rather than just....the direction society overall has their perceptions of abuse steered towards due to a singular and constantly reinforced abuse narrative shown to us in media.

And the way this all plays back into my point about Tim and what took me down this road in general.....

Is that disconnect I was talking about, lies specifically in HOW Tim is often acknowledged and regarded as an abuse survivor due to his emotional abuse and neglect......with this abuse and its impact on HIM often taking center stage, much the way Jason’s abuse and its impact takes center stage in his narratives.....

BUT with a key difference being that while a lot of Jason’s narratives go on to denote the specific ways his abuse helped SHAPE him and his interactions with others, and raise and address the ways in which he can better himself and his relationships by unpacking all of this openly....

Most of the stories about Tim’s abuse/neglect tend to just STOP at the awareness of its existence and impact on him. Never taking it that one step further to examine how those specific forms of abuse could have additionally SHAPED him....in ways that sometimes negatively impact those around him and his own loved ones, even if this is completely unintentional on his part. The difference, the disconnect, lies solely in how rarely its ever acknowledged that Tim’s own upbringing can and does play directly into how he interacts with people later on in life.....and in ways that he’s fully capable of addressing and bettering himself so as to be happier and healthier just in his own life, and in his relationships, as someone others want to be around.

Aaaaand once you actually examine or consider WHY there’s this discrepancy between the full ramifications of Tim’s abuse and that which various siblings of his underwent, when there’s full agreement that what he did go through absolutely can be termed abusive as well....like, its the implications of what about Tim makes him more naturally resistant or whatever to being shaped by his abuse in ways that have actual negative impact on others in his life, whereas the same isn’t true of say, Jason.....that’s when the red flags start to go up for me, and the unintended subtext starts to get Less Than Stellar, IMO.

Anyway. Just food for thought on the subject of Tim, his upbringing, the various impacts this had on not JUST him but also on how he interacts with others, and ways in which all of this compares and contrasts with how the subject of abuse is raised and depicted in regards to other Batkids.

[aerialflight]

Fic Rec (where i'm into too many fandoms rn and ships which is weird of me)

[Bleach] (been a while amiright?)

Oxytocin by Asuka Kureru (Askerian)

Ship: Grimmjow/Ichigo/Orihime

Complete trust and physical affection are great!

They're a bit less great when they were caused by weird hollow drugs.

They're even less great when the guy who was drugged up into loving the hell out of you is the same guy who tried to murder you a couple times a couple years ago.

(listen i just stumbled upon this and I have no regrets. i don't usually go for ships, let alone poly, but like, GOD, i love how everyone is characterized here, especially orihime and i just want to SCREAM OK? OK. the vibe i get from this fic reminds me of @murderlight (big fan) and if that doesn't say anything, i don't know what will.)

-

[Gintama] (i don't know how i spiralled into this fandom either, been literal years since i've even thought about this fandom, i have no regrets)

Grab Your Dreams With Your Fists While You Can Still Remember It by yatagarasu (leelhiette)

Ship: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki

Toshirou should learn to look both ways before crossing the road.

(Or he learns more about the people around him and about himself.)

(amnesia fic, and i know it's a common trope but they did it BEAUTIFULLY here. love this so much. and it's post-canon.)

I feel you by arashian155 for machinecuisine

Ship: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki

“I’m so done with this,” Gintoki muttered angrily. Zura sighed while Tatsuma laughed loudly. “Your soulmate’s getting roughed up again?” Gintoki groaned. “Worst timing ever! There was this one Amanto swinging his gigantic sword at me and I was just about to dodge it when, out of fucking nowhere, I feel something stabbing my shoulder! It threw me off and if it weren’t for that, I would have been perfectly healthy right now instead of getting nursed for this stupid wound!” he pointed at the ugly slash across his torso. “Fuck soulmates!”

A story about Sakata Gintoki's journey into embracing his soulbond, falling in love, and learning the cons of selflessness.

(THE SLOW BUILD-UP OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND THE PLOT FOLLOWS CANON AND I CAN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS STUPID FIC I'M SO STUPID FOR THIS STUPID SHIP FEIWNFOPA)

-

[One Piece] (of course)

Undone by pkmntrainer_alex

After the entire family almost dies at WCI, Judge Vinsmoke orders the removal of his sons' emotional modifications in a bid to save his own skin in future endeavors. He doesn't stop to consider the ramifications of his 21-year-old sons finally, suddenly, being able to feel their human emotions in full - and their newfound ability to judge both themselves and him by their past actions.

(the vinsmoke family dynamics and the brothers trying to deal with 21 years of pent up emotions? they're trying?? so freaking hard to be functional people and they realize just how freaking amazing sanji is and that HE wasn't the failure in this family??? god, i've reread this fic so many times like an addict please read and suffer the feels with me. this is the one fic where i'm trying to patiently wait for an update. i'm just happy that this exists.)

Song of the Swords by authenticaussie

Wado is tiny when she first appears before him; her tears are as silver as her hair and the moonlight, and they gleam from within with golden fire as they pour down her cheeks.

Zoro’s heart fairly stops in his chest for a very, very long moment.

(personified swords au! introspective and fascinating and a character study of zoro and his relationship with his swords! really liked this!)

where the rims have ridges by Civillain

Everything everyone does is in their own self-interest.

"I like your hat," she calls out quietly.

And the change is instantaneous. He stops where he stands, a hand on his head and his knees still bent to take another step, and turns to look over his shoulder.

There's a moment of silence where he says nothing, just peering at her with squinted eyes, before: "Thanks!" he beams.

His smile is wide and unchecked, so wide that it might make his cheeks ache. He doesn't have laugh lines, but the way he smiles makes her imagine that he's spent his whole life grinning like that, warmly and brightly, so sincere and upfront that the breath gets punched right out her lungs.

Sometimes, there are people close to exceptions. But not quite.

20 years apart, and two people that don't make any sense.

(god, such a good outside pov look on luffy! luffy is such an unreadable character lots of times and it's so hard to pin down his characterization but this fic got it so right! made me fall for luffy all over again and realize just how incredible he is, as both a not-hero figure and main character! definitely recommend!)

those things beyond us by Civillain

There's something different about Luffy on nights like this, nights where there's soft rain and half-moons, and when the streets are quiet; no cars or trucks, only midnight joggers or early risers taking walks to the beach.

(Where Luffy and his friends have a relationship Sabo doesn't think he'll ever be able to understand.)

(honestly, i just love all of this author's one piece works. its a modern au where the straw hats are reincarnated and find each other all in sabo's pov. it's beautiful and this is how i would picture how the straw hats would fit in a modern au. nakamaship is the best ship, no questions needed. so so good!)

Magic Paint by 8ball

Luffy sticks his hands out.

“Paint mine!”

Usopp watches the expressions on Sanji’s face. He likes watching the obvious emotions go through him like a slideshow, and it's somehow comforting that he can see the exact moment Sanji decides that going along with Luffy will be the easiest choice. So Usopp waits for Sanji to test his own nails, deem them dry enough, unscrew the tiny brush top again, and then he asks if Sanji will do his, too. And because Sanji already has the brush ready, and they’re both right there anyways, Usopp knows he’s going to get what he wants.

or the au that came from nowhere where Sanji paints his nails and everyone elses and thats really it

(*screams* the pureness, the fluff, the nakamaship!! fneiwoapfe!! the best, sweetest headcanon ever! had the biggest grin on my face the whole time i was reading this! please please read!!!)

-

[Percy Jackson & the Olympians]

Stealing Shells by the Seashore by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle

Ship: Sally Jackson/Posiedon

Sally's eyes flicked between Poseidon and then the sea below. He could feel the understanding click.

"Oh, absolutely not-"

"It isn't that high!"

"Poseidon, I am not jumping off of this cliff! I'm not doing it. I won't, you can't make me, it's very high, I am not going to-"

"If my brother sees you here, he's going to assume that you're carrying my child."

"Ridiculous. I have much higher standards."

"I also have higher standards, but he isn't going to listen to us," Poseidon reasoned. The wind blew a bit harder, and Poseidon felt the sea rise with his anxiety. "I would use my powers to hide you, but he'll sense I've used them. You'll be fine," he tried, and Sally gave something of a skeptical laugh.

"Not happening."

The lightning grew closer. For the love of-

"In that case… I'm sorry," he said. Sally tilted her head suspiciously.

"Why are you-" she began but was cut off by Poseidon shoving her off the cliff's edge. He could hear a scream. It started loud and high before getting smaller and smaller. Finally, a splash followed.

Or

Sally and Poseidon spent one summer together… and most of it was them being on the run for a godly crime they didn't commit.

(THIS is the ONLY backstory i will ever accept regarding this ship for the REST OF MY LIFE. i binged this so freaking fast and i am in love with sally as much as posiedon is. percy jackson got his Everything from his mom you can't change my fucking mind. THIS FIC NEEDS MORE ATTENTION AND KUDOS! READ!!!)

Son of Sea Foam by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle

“She’ll never claim me,” he whispered. Silena shook her head, eyes wild as she looked around for anyone who could be watching.

“My mother doesn’t remember half of her children as it is,” she said with a note of bitterness. “If you do something to impress her, it won’t matter. Return the bolt in her name. She’ll claim you if you act the part. If you stay unclaimed then they'll figure out what you really are," she said, squeezing his hands tightly. Percy's heart sped up.

"I - I don't know the first thing about Aphrodite-"

"My mother was born of sea foam," Silena cut him off. "And if you're really who I think you are... you are the sea. You can pull this off," she said and touched his cheek. "Get the bolt. Survive," she said. Percy swallowed.

"What if I can't act the part?" He asked. Silena's expression went blank for a moment. Slowly, she slipped off her bracelet and placed it in his hands.

"If you're going to be one of us... you better learn."

Or

AU where Percy has to hide the fact he's a Big Three kid otherwise he'll be killed on the spot. Unfortunately for him, unclaimed kids tend to raise the most suspicion... but he might have found a loophole in the form Aphrodite.

(one of my current obsessions rn. my eyes are constantly glued on the screen because i want to devour more of this galaxy brained fic. this author just keeps on giving and i love them for it. also, SILENA IS AMAZING AND SHE'S GETTING THE ATTENTION SHE DESERVES HELL YEAH!)

-

[Haikyuu!!]

He Waits For a Miracle by ich_bin_ein_stern

Ship: Hinata/Kageyama

A minute ago, he was on the ground after he and the others were tackled by their happily weeping senpai.

They had just beat Shiratorizawa.

And now - "Kageyama-kun? Are you paying attention?" - he's trying not to freak out because he's surrounded by distantly familiar faces while wearing a school uniform he hasn't worn in almost a year.

(TIME TRAVEL TIME TRAVEL TIME TRAVEL *screams*)

-

[The Witcher] (seriously, all my rare fandoms somehow popped up this month)

the way fire holds by theundiagnosable

Ship: Geralt/Yennefer/Jaskier

“There’s a song there, somewhere, don’t you think?” Jaskier says. “‘A witcher, a sorcerer, and a human walk into a bar’…”

(ROLE REVERSAL FIC HECK YES!! Witcher!Yennefer, Mage!Jaskier, Human!Geralt is amazing omg. It all works out so damn well and the relationship between yennefer and jaskier makes me want to cry so much. Geralt is at peak himbo greatness and it's fantastic haha! Their dynamics are just *chefs kiss* so damn good.)

The Shape of You by lirulin

Ship: Geralt/Jaskier

Some people say it's old elven magic, a remnant from before the conjunction of the spheres. Other's will say it's the last fading vestiges of chaos as the modern era slowly drives all magic and wonder out of the world. Those people are, naturally, real killjoys whom Jaskier cannot envision loving anything, but that's fine. To each their own.

Soulmate Spiritual Animal AU

(you have no idea how much i laughed when reading this fic. no idea. jaskier makes me want to scream with how much of a himbo he is and geralt, for once, is not the complete idiot between these two though it's a close call, not gonna lie.)

to grow in adversity by Soulykins

Ship: Geralt/Jaskier, Renfri & Jaskier

“For you!” Julian cried, shoving a fistful of weeds in Renfri’s direction, his smile wide and carefree. Renfri carefully took them in her hands that were only shaking a little bit now, smearing red onto green stems and yellow petals.

Julian clambered into the bed beside her and crawled halfway onto her lap. “I got you flowers, ‘cause you’re so pretty like them!”

“These aren’t flowers, they’re weeds.” Renfri told him, rolling her eyes but allowing the contact with ease. Somedays it seemed like Julian was the only person in the entire castle who wasn’t afraid of her.

“They look like flowers.” He said, crinkling his nose.

“They’re dandelions,” Renfri informed her brother with a tiny smile, “They grow everywhere, even places they perhaps shouldn’t. That’s why they’re a weed.”

“Perhaps they’re a little like you,” She teased, “Growing in even the scariest of places with no fear.” Like a monster’s heart, she doesn’t say.

“Like a superpower!” Julian gasped.

Renfri separated one dandelion from the little clutch and reached out to tuck it behind a little ear. “For the stubborn hero, Jaskier.”

(this is THE fic that got me into the witcher fandom and i can't believe i never reced this before. renfri & jaskier's siblingship is so damn good and just, the amount of effort put into their backstory and relationship makes me want to cry sometimes. and yennefer, ohoho, yennefer is at her Best here, i love her in this fic and her relationship with these siblings! geralt both makes me want to punch him and hug him, which is the norm and totally understandable hahaha! seriously, one of the best witcher fics i've ever read, please please read!)

-

[Boku no Hero Academia]

Where your love has always been enough (for me) by classicequinox

Ship: Todorki Enji/Todorki Rei

It's a dark coil of anger deep in the pit of his stomach, reminding him that he was the root, the catalyst, the trigger for their family's downward spiral. It did happen - he reminds himself harshly. He can't forget that, even if time has actually reset itself.

Todoroki Enji gets a second chance. It's up to him to see what he can do with it.

(genuinely the most believable enji i've seen regarding how he deals with his past actions and trying to be better and rei being a complicated, good person who i can see matches well with enji. really well done characterization and slow building relationship that is believable to me. enji trying to change things in a meaningful, careful manner makes me want to root for him!)

Katsuki Bakugou Makes A Friend (And Also Almost Dies, But Whatever) by Sif (Rosae)

Katsuki Bakugou is eight years old, he has no idea how he got here, where he is, or who this other kid is with him, but that's not gonna stop him from being brave and tough, just like the hero he's gonna be when he's older!

The universe has other ideas, but Katsuki Bakugou is a child made of spite, hubris, determination, and way too much nitroglycerin, so the universe can take it's ideas and shove 'em. After all, nobody out-stubborns Katsuki. Nobody.

(KID BAKUGOU & KID SHIGARAKI FRIENDSHIP! BAKUGOU STOLE MY HEART! SO SMART, SUCH A HERO! I LAUGHED AND CRIED THROUGHOUT THIS FIC, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE THIS! LITTLE SHIGARAKI MAKES A FRIEND AND IT'S TOO CUTE!!! so freaking adorable, oh lord. fneiwofpweafe)

Play The Field by lalazee for Banna_Banana

Ship: Bakugou/Midoriya

Baseball and feelings, feelings and baseball. Turns out, Bakugou and Deku are both good and bad at the same things. They try to work on it.

(look, i don't even know man. i stumbled upon this baseball au fic and the characterization is so top notch!! the backstories and feelings you get from this matches bakugou and deku's canon relationship perfectly and i flew past this so fast, god. please give this a chance, it's fantastic!)

-

[Marvel]

Blips on the Record by ambivalentangst for Bean_reads_fanfic

Flash, let it be known, doesn’t like Peter. He’s too good at everything—infuriatingly so—and nobody ever calls him on his bullshit, like with AcaDec nationals. Flash has to put his all into everything he does for a fraction of the attention Peter gets for his bare minimum, and it pisses him off, to say the least, so sue him for looking for chances here and there to knock him down a peg.

However, when he notices, he shuts his entire operation down.

Maybe Peter has a decade on his age when he was in the thick of it, but Flash remembers what it was like. He gets having school be a safe place, and nobody, not even himself, is going to jeopardize that for Peter.

//

Flash Thompson’s story is not simple, Peter Parker can always use someone else in his corner, and secrets are had and protected by all.

(flash is fleshed out! flash is getting some Good Rep! flash doing his best and being grumpy but ultimately trying to help peter in what ways he could! flash being a complex character and making me love him all over again! flash! getting some actual freaking attention fewnifoapew! THANK YOU! seriously, if you're looking for an actual good flash fic that doesn't feel disingenuous, read this!)

people were mean to you, but I always thought you were cool by suzukiblu for beckyh2112

Fandoms: Avengers & X-men

“What are your feelings on the mutant threat?!” one of the reporters shouts, and Steve just looks at him.

“I think anyone threatening mutants should be stopped,” he says calmly, and the swarm of reporters explodes, a dozen camera flashes going off at once.

(not exaggerating when i say i've reread this fic so many times that it's honestly concerning. steve & cyclop's friendship here makes me so soft?? they're both leaders of their teams and steve not being what everyone expects of him is always a soft spot for me. will forever be addicted to this fic, please enjoy!)

#notmycap by missgoalie75

Fandom: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

In which Bucky fully embraces the 21st century and is a salty bitch on Twitter.

(nonono, you don't understand. you don't understand how much i howled and screamed in public while reading this, oh my GOD. honestly the funniest shit i've read in a VERY long time, bucky is Perfect here. fucking drag that guy you beautiful cranky soul. X'D)

[fabricated-misslieness]

Thanks for answering my previous request! Can you do some fluff domestic headcanon for reaper , mccree , genji and soldier 76? also you dont have to but if you want you can add that reader is a childfree? (and im really enjoying your blog 👍)

Genji, McCree, Reaper, and Soldier x gender neutral reader

Thank you for fulfilling my Overwatch craving~

Unlike the other fandoms, I tend to crave Overwatch most for the least amount of time but also most often.

Set post-Overwatch Disbandment, pre-Overwatch Recall.

Requested: Yes

Genji Shimada | Grocery Shopping

(So in terms of the fandom, they’re divided between whether Genji can still taste or not. I’m going with no taste, so thanks to this Great Big Story video)

Grocery shopping with Genji was a mundane task. It was part of the weekly chores ever since you moved in together.

“(y/n), no.” He slapped your hand away as you reached out for a falsely advertised snack.

The good thing about it was that Genji grounded you into reality, thanks to his lack of taste buds. He reminds you not to fall for advertisements and actually pick out vegetables instead of plain avoiding them. Sometimes he called you a child because of your dislike of vegetables.

He’s one to talk, though. He doesn’t like doing chores, even if they’d been integrated into his daily life. He nagged about them sometimes.

“Aww, man. Fine.” You’d pout at him, but he’d grown desensitised by that look by now.

Though, he wasn’t used to doing chores at all, being part of a rich crime family, a crime-fighting organization and all that. Then again, that was no excuse, seeing as they’d been living together for quite a while now.

Anyway, even if he helped you stay on track, he himself would stray off as well. Usually you’d lose him for a few minutes, which gives you the opportunity to sneak in some interestingly advertised items, and return with a couple of containers with new spices or some that you were running low off. 

Spices were the only things that Genji could taste now, since you didn’t need taste buds to ‘taste’ them. It’s a little weird at the start to see him eat cereal drowned with stuff like amchur powder or sumac but eventually, you grew accustomed to it.

“Ey, ey, ey, back on track, Genji.” Luckily you’d caught him by the back of the hoodie just in time when his eye caught onto a spice he wanted to try.

Genji rolled his eyes under the mask, but he knew he shouldn’t go off wasting your guys’ money.

Thankfully it was only you two living together, so you didn’t have to buy as much to feed like, a family or something. Kids weren’t really your thing, and neither were they his. Sure they’re… adorable, but that’d seem troublesome. Far too troublesome for any of your childish asses.

If you asked Genji to go grocery shopping or even just go into the Overwatch common area kitchen 6 years ago, he would 100% say no. He was jealous of others, they could eat anything and they could savour them, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t get all that jealous, he’d just be disappointed.

However, he’s grown used to it now. He only just found out about spices the first time you went grocery shopping together.

You made him hold onto the cart with you for good measure, although he was sure to sneak off somewhere else while you weren’t looking. Which he did only a few minutes later.

You wondered if he was a leach kid, then remembered they probably didn’t have those in japan.

When he came back, he luckily only had three containers in hand.

You eyed him up with an accusatory look, you could sense his pout even when you couldn’t see it. “Sorry.” Genji sheepishly said, though he always said that and still continued to do it consistently every trip.

You huffed with feigned anger. You weren’t angry at all, but it was funny to see him shy like that.

“Alright, I’ll strike you a deal.” The feigned anger went away, your cheeky smile took its place. 

Genji perked up, he knew what was happening but he played along. “Mhm?”

”Hold my hand and I won’t be angry.”

Genji pretended to think for a while, nodding after a too small amount of time. “Deal.” He took your hand, intertwining your fingers together.

“Now, stick with me.”

 

Jesse McCree | Laundry

Ever since he came back to his old sweetheart’s farm, he’d been living there with them. He called it his base of operations, but really, it was his home.

He was sad to know that his old folk had passed away while he was gone, but he was glad that you were still there and you hadn’t stopped loving him, even when he’d left with Ashe.

Ever since he came back, you’d lived together.

You had your parents’ farm to uphold, with your old folk still working there too. They welcomed him with open arms and invited him to stay.

Your old folk couldn’t work much though. Both of them still had the determination in them to work but their old bodies forbid them from doing more than 3 hours under the harsh sun. They were happy to have more helping hands.

His ‘base of operations’ needed to be maintained, which prevented him from going out bounty hunting much, but he was fond of domestic life.

Ever since you two were children he wanted a domestic life with you and then Ashe came and swept away his dreams, turning them into other ones.

Since he was still getting used to farm life again, he was given much lighter tasks. Tasks that would be in any other household, specifically households from outside New Mexico. He had to get used to the harsh sun again.

You were resting against the railing of the back porch, admiring the farm as best you could with the sun shining in your eyes.

Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Jesse hanging up the laundry.

Other places outside of your farm area probably had those fancy laundry machines, but you didn’t. The sun was harsh but it was good for drying your clothes along with herbs.

It looks like he had a lot of clothes left to go.

Should you go help? Your tasks for the afternoon were done, then again you had a lot more to do in a few hours.

Eh, why not? This was the love of your life that you were helping.

“Hey, love.”

He perked up to look at you, still putting up a shirt. “Well hey, darling.”

“Need any help?” You didn’t wait for a response, grabbing a pair of clothespins and a shirt.

“Much appreciated.” Jesse pressed a kiss against your cheek as thanks, going back to his work. You initiated chit chat as you hung up the clothes, giving each other cheek kisses sometimes.

Jesse loved these moments, where he could just be with you in your farm, the farm that he’d visited various times in his childhood, the farm you’ve spent your entire life in. He loved hearing you talk and just, you in general.

Talking with your folk was a hassle, inevitably, in every conversation, they would bring up the ‘children’ talk.

They wanted children to continue in your family legacy, non-blood related or not. They were afraid the farm that had been passed on generation to generation would be surrendered to somebody none of you even knew, just like what happened with Jesse’s family farm.

With no children to inherit the farm and no relatives willing to take it up, it was sold. The new owners weren’t exactly careless with it, but they were adamant on keeping it even with Jesse’s arrival.

Your old folk weren’t comfortable with some stranger in their farm.

The thing was, you didn’t want children, the two of you were already thirty. Jesse was fine with that, but your folk weren’t. Sometimes arguments about children with them reduced you to tears and sobs, but Jesse was always there to comfort you afterwards.

More often than not at dinner you’d be arguing, so he cherished the moments where you seemed to be happy.

“Something on your mind, Jesse?”

You startled him out of his thoughts. “No, it’s just.. I love you.”

You were taken aback from the statement. You knew you loved each other, it wasn’t the first time you’d said it since he came back but you didn’t expect him to say it out of nowhere.

“I love you too.” A fond smile graced your lips, which made you irresistible to kiss for him.

He leaned forward, capturing your lips in a soft and short kiss.

“You sure something ain’t botherin’ you?” You laughed after pulling away.

“Never been better, darlin’.”

 

Gabriel Reyes | Cooking

Cooking dinner was one of the only things you’d be able to do together. He was always at work, sometimes until the next morning, so it was something you yearned for while he was gone.

Gabriel was a good cook under good instructions. Alone, there was a chance he could burn something but 9/10 times it was fine. Most of the time he’d cook for you as consolation for being gone, but he’d already done that yesterday so you offered to help.

He accepted the offer with a smile, pressing a light kiss to your temple.

Since today he wanted to cook for you, he decided to do the main stuff and have you as his little helper.

Granted, you were a perfectly good cook, but today was consolation.

Every time he asked for a spice, as you reached over to hand it to him, he’d share a short kiss and turn back to the cooking.

It reminded you of those athletic couples that would spot each other while doing sit ups and kiss every time the one on their back got to the top. It was cheesy, mostly cringy, but doing something like it actually felt really sweet.

“Chili powder?” Hands reaching out, a small kiss, back to cooking. It was cute.

Finally, the only thing you had two do was wait. You were having his famous enchiladas tonight, so they were in the oven baking. Usually he would wing the time, which meant checking every few minutes.

According to him, “It is ready when the edges are crispy.”

You trapped him against the counter while you kissed. It was nothing lustful, just sweet kisses. He wouldn’t let you kiss him for more than five minutes, though, since you had to check the oven… party pooper.

“(y/n).” He pulled back, not letting you kiss him again. “Enchiladas.”

You sighed, going to check on it again. All you wanted was his kisses, then again you were hungry too. How did he even know that five minutes had passed every time?

“Still need to cook for longer.” You said, standing back up. He raised an eyebrow at you, giving you a look that basically said, ‘Don’t be lying to me just for more kisses.’

“I promise.” You huffed out a laugh, trapping him against the counter and your lips again.

Gabriel tended to cook more than you two could eat, even when there were only two mouths to feed. Neither of you wanted children, both of you being well over the recommended age for that.

Another five minutes passed and he pulled back again, but this time you went back in.

“(y/n).” He protested between kisses. “You don’t want our--” The next kiss lasted for longer, yet Gabriel wouldn’t pull back. When you pulled back for air, he frowned at you.

You didn’t let it phase you, though. Your cheeky smile got him to smile back. He shook his head at you, pushing you back lightly. “Go check.”

You followed his order, checking the oven.

“They’re not ready.”

“(y/n)...”

“Okay, they’re ready.”

 

Jack Morrison | Washing Dishes

Usually you’d take turns washing the dishes, along with cooking meals. But today, you decided you should clean the dishes together. Throughout the past week, he’d been caught up with his work, meaning you didn’t see each other much.

On Monday, he’d gotten pretty injured, which got you worried already, but the next day he continued on with his work, even with the injury.

He apologized over dinner, which you cooked alone, he came when you were just finishing with the cooking. The apology was accepted over the promise of spending time together.

Holding onto that promise, you started with the dishes.

He’d soap them up, you’d wash it off and put it on the dish rack. It seemed simple, there were just two of you. You were both well over the age for children and Jack’s work wouldn’t exactly work with having children either, but the fact that neither of you wanted any was another reason.

The cutlery was done, the only thing to clean now was the pot.

You sat and admired him as he cleaned, emphasis on him rather than the cleaning part. He looked beautiful, look past all the scars and the wrinkles and he’s a handsome old man.

You laughed at the name, old man. It dawned on you that you were also old, making you laugh again. Jack perked up at your laughs, raising an eyebrow at you.

“We’re old.” You said, a bashful smile on your face.

“Oh, do I know all about that.” Jack joked. “Wrinkles, white hair…”

You nodded, twirling a strand of your hair. “There.” Jack said, putting the pot on your side of the sink. He moved to leave, but you pulled him back by the wrist.

“Just where do you think you’re going, old man?” You laughed at the small joke.

“I don’t know, to bed? Old men need their sleep. Speaking of old people, you should wrap this up.” Jack leaned against the counter beside you.

You nodded, hastily cleaning the pot and setting it aside to dry.

Instead of moving towards your bedroom, you trapped him against the counter, surprising him. He raised a brow at you.

“We haven’t kissed in a few days.”

Jack let out a small laugh, “If that’s what you want...” He leaned in, capturing your lips with his own.

The kiss was short, fulfilling your longing.

You rested your foreheads against each other, gazing into each other’s eyes.

“I love you.” You breathed out at the same time. The statement brought a smile onto your lips. You leaned in for another kiss, a longer one.

You loved to live with each other, wake up next to each other, do your routines with each other, cook for one another, go to sleep next to each other. You loved him and he loved you.

[scrawnytreedemon]

Cid Highwind and/or Vincent V!

Oooohhh!!! Bringing in The Boys? SNkkkkk, I’d expect nothing less of you, Enide <3 I’m not that well-versed in them as I’d like, buT!!! here’s trying!!!! Love a good challenge :)) 

Cid:

First impression: Grumpy tea DILF that swears his ass off. For some reason I keep forgetting Cid is a lancer and not a gunman because??? Usually it’s the gunmen that get depicted all vulgar and rugged, with stubble and cigarettes.

Impression now: Grumpy tea DILF that swears his ass off. Lmao, nothing much has changed, but there’s certainly a free-spiritedness to him; makes sense, the man is a pilot and would’ve been(got to be?) an astronaut. He’s very tough-love in a way that both meshes and manages to be distinct from Barret’s flavour-- I think they’d be good bros :) One thing that sours his character a bit for me is how he verbally abuses Shera :( I’d normally chalk it up to his usual tough-love, but with the major plotpoint of him blaming her for his crushed dreams and how she essentially fulfills the role of an abused wife... I, I’m not so sure. Overall, I like Cid, but it’s a shame.

Favorite moment: Ohh!!! I have a few, such as the way he joins the party, him calling Vinny back to their room, his return to the final fight-- But my favourite has to be on the Materia train hijacking sequence and the dialogue that follows if you pick Yuffie and Vincent as your party members. The dialogue is downright hilarious and you really get the sense that they’ve gotten to know each other behind the scenes(love that about FFVII <3) :)))

Idea for a story: To STEAL an idea from my bud @alunchboxofsushifries she had while we were whinging about DoC, but having the game’s storyline entirely revamped so that it’s Vincent, Cid and Yuffie doing it all together. We don’t know the finer details(and DoC being DoC quite frankly I’m scared of knowing just w h a t might we be changing), but I love the idea alot!!!!! Again, this is my friend Vee’s idea, so major credit to them!!!!

Unpopular opinion: Lmao I don’t think I have enough opinions on him to really have an unpopular one??? Dont get me wrong-- Love the man to bits, however as of yet my focus has been all over the other party members(Barret, Nanaki, ect.) and so I’m not as well-versed in what is the common fanon of this man-- Most I could say is I wished they handled his resentment towards Shera better :(

Favorite relationship: I think him and Vince are such a fun dynamic-- I lean heavily platonic, but I’m sure you know I’m cool with a more romantic connotation. Vince calling him chief and being this affectionately dry almost-sidekick to Cid is the absolute best and its what made me love the train sequence along with Yuffie calling him old man lmaooo-- Adding onto that, I think him and Yuffie could have a snarky grumpy old dad and snide-teenager dynamic where he gives her lectures and she goes “yeah okay, paps”.

Favorite headcanon: Sadly I don’t have really any(I am NOT giving you good food today, am I, Enide? :( ), but I personally think that he’s got the only functioning airship on the Planet. I headcanon Gaia to be roughly the size of our moon, so large enough to hold a fair amount of people but also small so everything’s just a stone’s throw away-- Hell, they only have one major ocean! How wild is that???

Now!!!!! Onto Vince :))))) I have alot more to say(hopefully lmaooo)

First impression: Cool edgy gunman who stands in a corner and mumbles huskily. Drinks only black coffee, if he even drinks at all. Desperately needs a hairbrush.

Impression now: This man is??? SO awkward I???? I lOVE HIM???? He’s also got such a sweetness in my eyes and it’shdfjkjhkjhjg!!!! Like mAN, he’s an outwardly chill if slightly skittish older friend who keeps to the sidelines most of the times but when he does chip in it’s a l w a y s good and very Wise. The man is a bit of a sod, though, sometimes to the point of debilitating self-pity. First thing this guy did was tell you to fuck off and go back to sleep. He rags on himself heavily for his sins and I want to!!! Give the poor fucker a hug because lord knows he hasn’t had one in 27~ years :((( All around, swell guy, WOULD love to have a chill garden-bonfire chat with him :) Still needs a hairbrush, lmao. Also g o l d - p l a t e d  c l o w n s h o e s .

Favorite moment: I must, again, bring up the train scene for reasons mentioned in Cid’s section-- But to get onto another that caught my eye, was when he returned, and Cloud was surprised, having got the feeling that Vince was cold an detached. It’s both sweet, and sad. Vince cares deeply about all of this, about all of them, but because he’s a bit of a poker-faced recluse he doesn’t express it very much. I wonder how he felt, hearing that.

Idea for a story: OF COURSE, once again, Vee’s DoC rewrite(even more so because Vince is the main character), but I think a Seph adoption!AU, whether pre or postgame where in the former he takes Seph in and they’re constantly on the run together, constantly awaiting Shinra’s wolves like stalked deer, or the latter where there’s a tender, redemptive atmosphere but also a psychological, almost-horror element where he loves his Lucrecia’s son so much but also has to serve as his warden lest he be unleashed once more.

Unpopular opinion: I don’t think he’s Sephiroth’s biological father, and, with the nigh-omnipresence of this theory, I’ll be honest and say I find it a little grating? I think it weakens Hojo’s character and makes Vince this Real Fix-It Parent Who’d Never Hurt You :) -- And I understand the appeal, of that, but honest to God it really feels like most of this comes down to Hojo Stinky Baf adn UGLIIII!!! Vimce Good adn Sweete adn Pwetty :333 Facetiousness aside, I can appreciate this being done well, as with anything! Just wish it wasn’t taken as almost canon in fandom spaces :(

Favorite relationship: The man is SO fun to platonically pair up with everyone it’s INSANE, though I don’t think I have a favourite ship??? Like yeah, sure him and Lucrecia had a thing once, but that whole ordeal was more of a human rights crisis and just generally a painful, tragic mess. I don’t think Vincent could really love like that again, not for many years. He aches, even in places he forgets aren’t meant to ache. Especially those. I think he gives everyone a little love in the help he hands out. Vincent’s heart is big and broken, and he fears that if he fills it too much, it’ll burst, and he’ll be left a beast. He needs to learn that he is worthy, but that is a task he must undertake.

Favorite headcanon: Can’t really think of any, as despite his mysterious nature, Vince doesn’t leave too many loose threads in areas of My ConcernTM-- Though if I’m gonna make one up, him, Barret and Cid get together on Saturday nights to hang out around a fire with some beers and have some good Dad Talks-- Peak DILF solidarity, tbh. 

But yeah!!!! Took awhile to write out, hopefully these are sufficient enough for you, O’ Valenwind Extraordinaire beloved! Again, as always, feel free to tack on any further thoughts of your own! Love a good discussion <3 Makes this little corner of the fandom feel warmer.

[jelly-space]

Here are some of my headcanons for Oliver because I adore him so much. I love how differently he is interpreted and drawn by the fandom, these are just how I tend to imagine him. Forgive the bad writing, I've only written academic essays and like one fanfic one shot when I was 12 so it may come off as awkward to read.

♡ Super self conscious about his looks. Doesnt understand how to take compliments but wont stop someone if they decide to lay on the love. Do it enough and he'll be smitten in no time.

♡ Will go to many lengths to get someone he's fallen for to do the same to him. The harder he falls the more he forgets that people typically dont like being stalked and def arent into murderers.

♡Will get upset if object of affection starts to avoid him. If they keep steering clear of him it wont end well. Will start with denial on his part and end with a mess for his "sweetheart"

♡ Vicious cycle of baking to destress and feel less lonely, not having anyone to give his treats to and then getting stressed about eating too many sweets. Will leave suspicious looking bags of goodies on random countrys doorsteps to avoid it as much as possible. America and Canada have become masters are sneakily discarding said treats when he gives it to them in person.

♡Amazing baker but not such a good cook. His food is edible, and he has a few dishes he excels at but he tends to make everything too sweet or bland. Part of that may have to do with the fact that he can not stand most spices(he's in the cilantro tastes like soap party) and because he will regularly put sugar in his recipes thinking its salt and will not taste to check.

♡ Personal space? What's that? He may be bashful to strangers but the second he gets closer to someone, personal boundries go out the window. He's touched starved so anyone that talks to him more than once should expect a lot of too close for comfort moments.

♡ Tries to be a good listener but gets distracted so easily. On the other hand he can talk for hours.

♡ Doesnt label himself as anything because he's not very up to date on almost anything nowadays, but would be considered pansexual.

♡ Give this man an inch and he'll make a mile. Tell him more than two compliments and hes already planning the first date. Many unsuspecting humans end up being a target for his infatuation, none of them have ended all that well though.

♡ Has had and still has a crush on many different countries, but considering they're a bit more volatile/uninterested, he's a lot less certain and outgoing in his affection. When hes frustrated over not being able to be with someone he'll purposefully go out looking for humans to be with.

♡Is good at hiding his emotions when he wants. Is a master at smiling away his problems, at least until he gets home. Then he will either A: start panicking to himself B: try to distract himself with a hobby C: Call up Allen, Matt or Francois to vent D: go out to "vent" his frustrations on some random human or E: Drink, and let's hope it never gets to that

♡His body is as soft as can be. Oliver is, as he would say, pretty chubby. He has a slightly protruding stomach(not a hard fat stomach but a soft fat type if that makes sense), thick thighs and fat built up in his upper arms. He also has a double chin and chubby cheeks.

♡His hands, on the other hand, are surprisingly thin and nimble. If you were to ask him what part of him is the prettiest he'd likely say either his eyes or his hands.

♡Is very high maintenance with his nails and hands in general. Lots of sweet smelling lotions, nail filling and nail polish is used to keep them looking nice even with all the work they go through with his baking. Usually will go with clear but hes got an arsenal of pastel polishes he'll use when he's feeling cute.

♡Calling him fat is the easiest way to get on his hit list. He'll except being called chubby by those closer to him but it's best not to mention it at all unless you're gonna give him nothing but complements for an hour straight.

♡Freckles, freckles everywhere. This man is covered in them and he's endlessly self conscious about them. He's grown accustom to the ones on his face since they've become quite popular in recent years and hes been getting complements on them from humans he passes by while out. But gets rather shy about the rest of his body and will usually only show his arms because he really is covered in them head to toe. He'll even avoid rolling up his sleeves while baking so he doesnt have people seeing them.

♡Speaking of freckles, there's another reason he tends to leave them alone now. Centuries ago he had used makeup to cover his face, but the ingredients used...weren't so kind to his skin. Luckly his face healed over time but now he gets flashbacks whenever he sees foundation.

♡Is a master manipulator. He may not be good at catching small details because of him getting easily distracted, but he is good at reading people in general. Enjoys messing with people's emotions and steering then into whichever way he wants. It helps that he acts and looks kind and attentive, people think he has good intentions when hes really just twisting how they feel and act to benefit himself.

♡Oliver can be very delusional in many different ways. He wasn't always like this but since he had to deal with a lot of terrible stuff growing up as a country, it's how he copes and rationalizes his life. The delusions can rang from mild to severe. Someone looks at him for a second too long? They must think he looks silly in his outfit. Person runs away when they find out he's stalking them? They're just playing coy. Allen wants to seperate from him and become independent? Francois and Matt, and who knows who else, have brainwashed Allen into hating him will have to fight to bring him back to normal.

♡Like his 1p counter part, Oliver does dabble in magic but to a lesser extent. He focuses more on potions and spells that he can use against others or to spy, but as magic can be unpredictable and unreliable at times(at least for him) it's usually a last ditch effort.

♡Can see magical creatures and has a few that he is close to. He feels a connection with the fae; he thinks they have a lot in common. But he tries to keep them out of his home for that very reason. He was afraid of them stealing away Allen and Matt when he left them home for too long. Now they both have fears of fairy's because of all the scary stories they've heard over the lifetime.

♡Gets pretty stressed when things are too loud and hectic, would probably need to excuse himself at least once during a 1p world meeting if he ever went to one.

♡When it comes to technology he is absolutely clueless and refuses to learn it. The newest stuff in his house is his new oven that took him a solid year to fully understand and small stuff that Allen has bought like his new tv. Allen is usually the first person that Oliver goes to for advice on technology since Matt is not much better than himself.

♡On that note he is a sucker for older technology, his favorite thing besides his kitchen is his gramophone that he'll use to play the massive collection of records he owns. He'll listen to music from any place he can get his hands on but he had a particular love for French music.

[blackjack-15]

Leavin’ on a Jet Pack — Thoughts on: The Haunting of Castle Malloy (HAU)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG, CAR, DDI, SHA, CUR, CLK, TRN, DAN, CRE, ICE, CRY, VEN

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it. Like with all of the Odd Games, there will be a section between The Intro and The Title called The Weird Stuff, where I go into what makes this game stand out as a little strange.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: HAU, mention of DAN.

The Intro:

Yup, this is the jetpack banshee game.

Honestly, that’s probably the best introduction to this game. It’s semi-famous among the fandom for just being balls-to-the-wall nuts, and for good reason; while HAU isn’t quite as confused as some of the other Odd games, it’s definitely less organized, and there’s very little story to tell here.

And the story that is there? Well, we’ll cover that in The Weird Stuff.

The Haunting of Castle Malloy falls near the end of the Odd Games, and honestly it more than deserves its place. Sure, we’re in a different, ‘exotic’ location like…well, most of the Odd Games, but it’s not like it really matters, as Nancy sees very little of Ireland. A car drive, a brief interlude outside of a pub, and the weirdest outside interface ever seen in a Nancy Drew game (even being reused in the next game briefly), and for all of that we might as well be in the Florida swamps.

Let’s not even mention the teetotaler pub. The less said about that, the less silly that this game comes off. Everyone in Ireland drinks a tall, frothy cup of Juice when they want to relax.

Sigh. Honestly, HER. Just skip the pub entirely.

HAU is also a game that tries to contextualize itself in Nancy’s past, but doesn’t do a very good job about it. It’s not inside reference-y like Secret of the Old Clock, but it’s also not grounded in character like…well, all of the Nancy games (ASH through SPY). It just springs in the ‘hey remember this character you’ve never heard about nor had referenced because we made her up whole cloth for this game’ little mechanic and tries to whisk the player away with it.

Consider me unwhisked.

And maybe that’s the biggest problem – or rather, the biggest signifier – of The Haunting of Castle Malloy: it relies on whirling the player away in the Sights and Sounds and Juices of Ye Olde Greene Eire, but instead…well, it doesn’t have the power to whirl the player. It doesn’t even have the body to muss the player’s hair when the wind comes around.

HAU is very little like its source material; in fact, really the only thing that the book and game have in common is that they’re both set in Ireland, and that the mystery involves Nancy’s friends. Sure, in the book it’s Bess and George, rather than an obscure, hitherto-unknown exchange student, but since there’s nothing else, we’ll give them points for it.

The majority of this meta (and the majority of this game) falls under the weird stuff designation, so let’s pop on over and talk about what makes HAU truly odd.

The Weird Stuff:

The entire premise of this game isn’t too far off the mark of normal – Nancy’s summoned to help a family friend, which is the case for quite a few Nancy Drew games (more than the opposite, I believe, at this point in the series) — but it does stand out a bit that she’s going to be in a wedding as a maid of honor.

While I could see it for Bess/George, Hannah (which would be fun) or Ned (which is my personal headcanon), it’s a bit odd that this is a character we’ve never heard of who considers Nancy her closest female acquaintance. You’re telling me Kyler got through elementary, middle, high, and University without making a single friend other than the weird little kid she knew while studying in River Heights?

That’s weird enough to get a section by itself, but it’s not even scraping the surface of this game.

Going deeper, our predominant theme/conflict/effery in this game is a convoluted love triangle between the bride, groom, and their best friend (who for some reason isn’t involved with like anything with the wedding, regardless of the fact that he should be doing at least as much as Nancy is doing, and possibly more since he’s an actual friend of the couple), with Kit still being in love with Kyler (for some unimaginable reason) yet friends with Matt. Kit, notably, doesn’t really do anything about it, but just having that plotline being our main thread is a super weird choice, honestly.

This is also a story about marriage troubles; sure, they haven’t officially tied the knot yet, but the fact that Kyler thinks that her fiancé disappearing the night before their wedding is a “classic Matt prank” and not either something deeply worrying or a sign that he’s too immature for a commitment is a Huge Yikes.

Best case scenario and he’s playing a prank…does he think people won’t take this as a bad sign, that early-arriving guests won’t freak out, that this won’t cause any problems?

And worst case, he’s been kidnapped (the truth of course being even dumber than that), and the first 48 hours after a kidnapping are the most crucial, meaning that Kyler’s inaction could result in a death that didn’t have to happen on her watch.

What I think HER really didn’t think about was the implications of this setup. Either way, it doesn’t just look bad for Matt and/or Kyler (to say nothing of Kit), it looks bad for their future.

We have no faith that these two are actually interested in each other, let alone in love and committed to this relationship. Nancy, famously deaf to emotions like this, doesn’t really make any comments about how this bodes ill, but the player is bound to think that something’s not quite right if these two people are so mismatched.

In a slightly less uncommon theme for the Nancy Drew series, this is also a game about unrequited love. Let’s face it, for the majority of the game the only suspect really is Kit, since Donal isn’t big enough to kidnap Matt, and it’s a Nancy Drew game, so Matt definitely isn’t out there playing a very poorly timed prank on his bride to be. Kit even has suspicious documents (the land drawings) and such that add up to him wanting Matt out of the way, even without his unrequited love schtick with Kyler.

Honestly, how two people were in love with that chick is just…it boggles the mind, honestly. What is appealing at all about Kyler? Her weird hair? The fact that it looks like she’s wearing a green dress the whole game only to have it be pants? Her bland personality? Awful voice? The way she looks in the weird photographs in the game?

Sorry for the digression, but I am struggling here.

The last section within this section will talk about the thing that’s by far the oddest conceptionally in this game – the banshee/jetpack storyline. Most of the time when it’s a folk/faerie story in these games, it turns out to be not true, and that’s still the case here. To have it not be a banshee, but instead be a senile, badly mentally damaged old woman flying around on a jetpack from World War II, on the other hand…that stretches the limits of believability to where it would have been better to just have it be a banshee.

Fiona and her backstory and her jetpack are pretty much the oddest pieces, with none of them actually fitting into the larger themes of the story. Our backstory in this game — WWII Ireland and its scientific achievements — isn’t integrated at all with the present day, dethroning previous WWII-focused backstory game Danger by Design for ‘least related backstory’ award, and it’s not justified at all within the story or characters either.

The Title:

As far as titles go, “The Haunting of Castle Malloy” isn’t bad at all; it’s fairly standard, slightly pulpy Nancy Drew fare, and certainly better than the title of its book inspiration (“The Bike Tour Mystery”, so named because Nancy et al go on a bike tour in the book). It tells you the “what” (haunting) and “where” (Castle Malloy), and is fairly evocative.

I really just have a problem with it being the title of this game. Not only is the Castle not really relevant — sure, it’s where the game takes place, but it’s not important to the game outside a conversation or two — within the story, but the game doesn’t really pull off the ‘haunting’ side either. It’s established pretty early on that there are weird lights and sounds, but that’s about it.

If you want to keep the location, “The Banshee of Castle Malloy” I feel like would have been a better choice, as it tells us right away we’re dealing with Irish mythology, and shows it’s supposed to be a Haunting game (no matter how poorly it pulls that off) without any excess fuss. It’s also a little more specific, which is generally a good move to make the title more interesting — like how “The Shadow in the Fog” is better than just “The Shadow” as a title.

HAU’s title seems to be solidly in the middle of Nancy Drew titles, so there’s not much more to say about it. Let’s move on to the mystery it somewhat, but not completely, speaks of.

The Mystery:

Nancy’s been summoned overseas again, but this time it’s for pleasure, rather than business. An exchange student that Nancy and Carson housed for a few months is getting married, and wants Nancy to be her maid of honor.

And no, I have no idea why Carson wasn’t invited. Way to snub the man who fed and housed you, but invite his daughter (who was 14 at the time Kyler knew her) to hold one of the most important places in the wedding.

Anyway, by the time Nancy arrives — the night before the wedding; bad form Nancy — the groom — Matt Simmons — is missing, which Kyler suspects is a practical joke (as Matt has a reputation for pulling pranks) and Donal, the caretaker of the Castle, thinks is a sign of being kidnapped by faeries for the crime of being English and marrying an Irishwoman.

Out of the many crimes of the English, I don’t think this one ranks enough with the Fae to merit a stepping-in, but hey, what do I know about crudely-drawn stereotypes in a HER game. I’m sure they did all of the possible research, talked to experts about Irish mythology, spent about 5 minutes on the Wikipedia article for “banshee”…at least one of those.

The only other person on the Castle grounds is Kit Foley, Matt and Kyler’s friend — and Kyler’s unrequited admirer. A land developer, he’s literally the most suspicious person at the castle by being the only one actually in the castle and by holding the (honestly reasonable) opinion that Matt just got cold feet and left.

Once Nancy finds Matt’s broken glasses and Kyler mentions that he’s blind without them, however, the race is on to find Matt — who definitely couldn’t have broken a spare/fake pair of glasses as part of the prank, shush you — before the wedding the next day. What should have been a grueling search takes an hour or so, and they find out that he accidentally fell in a secret passage and got trapped there, being fed carrots and potatoes by the resident crazy woman like he was a blind, helpless rabbit.

Yeah.

As a mystery…I mean, is this even a mystery??? What honestly went on in the pitch room that day? “We’re gonna write about fidelity, unrequited love, the stress of a wedding, a friendless woman who invites an 18-year-old because she never made any friends…and a crazy old woman with ties to World War II. And a jetpack.”

I don’t even know how I would begin to rate this mystery. Bad? Because that’s honestly the word that comes to mind. I’m never a fan of “oh it was all a Hilarious accident, ho ho ho” endings to mysteries, and this one is worse than most. Nothing follows, the backstory is such a non-entity it really doesn’t bear spelling out, and the characters aren’t even a little likable. This section could delve into each problem with the mystery but, honestly, that sounds exhausting and I’m gonna go over the bigger points below anyway, so let’s get to the clowns that make up this circus.

The Suspects:

Beginning with Kyler Mallory, our bride to be who, for some reason, has her hair and tiara done the night before the wedding — I guess she’s not planning on sleeping? — is searching for her prankster groom to “teach him a lesson” and so he knows that once they’re married, “no more pranks ever”.

Sounds like she loves him dearly and wouldn’t change a thing, huh. If that wasn’t worrying enough, she’s not super fussed that he’s disappeared the night before their wedding, and considers it a “Classic Matt” sort of thing to do.

As a culprit – man that would have been a dark turn, to have her kidnap/hide away Matt to teach him a lesson about not pulling pranks. It, of course, would have made a friendly acquaintance of Nancy’s into a bad guy, and that’s a huge No-No for HER, but it would have been kinda cool all the same.

Kyler’s groom is Matt Simmons, an Englishman who is decidedly unwelcome in Ireland (at least, according to Donal) and who has a strong reputation for being a little too heavy on the pranks — so much so that when he disappears, his own fiancée just thinks it’s another prank. To be fair to her, he did disappear while pulling a very sad little prank on her, so she wasn’t entirely off base.

As a culprit…how would that even work? That would be like FIN’s Maya kidnapping herself for no purpose whatsoever. Matt isn’t really given any character beats other than “prankster” and “fed like a rabbit”, so there’s really not much to speculate on here. I do wonder what Kyler sees in him…but then again, I also wonder what he (and Kit) see in Kyler, so we have that as well.

Next up is the couple’s friend Kit Foley, who’s sporting an enormous shiner to the wedding courtesy of a wayward branch (and a bit of karma) that smacked him while he and Matt were pranking Donal. He’s in love with Kyler (why????) but seems happy enough for his friends, and is of the opinion that Matt simply got cold feet and left.

Not sure why you’d be friends with someone who’d do that, but no one in this game has any character at all, so we’ll blow past it.

A land developer, Kit is basically the only suspect and yet a terrible suspect at the same time. Sure, he’s in love with Kyler (again, why???), but he also doesn’t really gain anything from them not getting married, just like he doesn’t gain anything from them getting married. I never thought I’d see the day where a brooding best friend is so…unaffected by the marriage of his long-time crush, but that just goes to show you how little depth even Kit — who somehow has the most depth of any character — really has.

Finally, Donal Delaney is the caretaker of Castle Malloy, and a firm believer in the Fae. He’s also really the only Irishman in the cast, which isn’t a great look for HER. He thinks that the Fae have taken Matt in return for being in Ireland and sleeping in the old nursery room in the castle, and is easily frightened.

Seriously, that’s his whole character.

As a culprit…as much as Donal is grumpy, he’s not really any sort of entity as a suspect. He hangs out at the pub, drinks fruit juice, and talks about the Fae, and that’s the extent of his involvement in the plot. The most importance he gets is inadvertently being the source of Kit’s black eye, and that’s so tertiary to the plot that it might as well not be there.

The Favorite:

Even though this game is, by all accounts, a ridiculous non-entity, there are a small amount of things that I do like.

I’m actually a fan of the opening sequence; it’s like a better version of CUR’s opening, has Nancy crashing her car (always fun) while telling Ned she’s not gonna crash (even more fun), and she doesn’t show up right away at the castle. Honestly, the first about 10 minutes of the game are actually solid, and more fun than the rest of the game as a whole. So that probably qualifies as my favorite moment in the game, spliced with the revelation that Matt has been subsisting on raw carrots and potatoes, which is just…honestly unimaginably funny.

My favorite puzzle is the seating chart for the wedding. Veterans of this meta series (all 5 of you) will know that my favorite types of puzzles are word and logic puzzles, and this is a great logic puzzle. I honestly could have done an hour of that puzzle and been happy as a clam. It really stands out as, well, the only fun I had during the majority of the game, but it was honest fun.

The Un-Favorite:

And then, on the other hand…

There’s a lot about this game that isn’t great, but almost none of it do I hate; there’s just not enough effort for me to hate it.

Except the background setting.

Having already done WWII as a backstory, HER really should have thought twice about returning to it only five games later. With Brendan Malloy developing fuel for armored vehicles, only stopped by it exploding in his (and everyone’s) faces in 1944…honestly, there’s no reason that this game’s backstory should take place in World War II, other than to have a reasonable chance of Fiona still being alive. It also makes it seem like ‘oh the War really didn’t touch Ireland that much hahahaha” which isn’t a great look either.

Honestly, HER’s treatment of Ireland is pretty ‘un-favorite’ here, but since HER never really does a good job handling any country (or most states outside the Pacific Northwest), it’d be fairly pointless to begin talking about it at length now.

My least favorite moment is probably the reveal of the culprit/mystery at the end; it’ so anti-climactic, honestly, and only comes after much struggle through two very stupid puzzles. It doesn’t give any meaning to the game, no one learns any lessons, and — probably unpopular opinion here — it probably would have been better for everyone involved (including Fiona) if Fiona would have died in that explosion 60+ years ago.

My least favorite puzzle would actually be the two puzzles at the very end — the chemicals and the rocket ship. The chemical puzzle is the worst offender, but both are pointless, do nothing for the story, and really feel like they’re there because Nancy Drew games have to have a puzzle at the very end. Putting something into a game because you ‘have’ to is never good, and this is a prime example of how annoying that obligation can truly be.

The Fix:

So how would I fix The Haunting of Castle Malloy?

The first thing I’d say is that, despite the games in the Nancy Drew series often containing one, I don’t really think the HAU needs a historical backstory. If you must give something to the Castle and the explosion, set it back in World War I, which would at least be something different.

But honestly, it’d be better to just get rid of it entirely. It’s old, it’s a castle, it’s in ruins, move on. The present has enough potential for drama without mucking up the past.

The second thing I would do is to take out Fiona entirely. Sure, still have the legend of the banshee going around the area, but it’s all things that are (mostly) easily explained, like in most haunting games. Figures in the fog? That’s just grounds crew who have been working for months to prep the site for the wedding. Strange lights? Well, yeah, the castle wouldn’t be wired for electricity if it’s been abandoned, so the workers have to bring in their own lights. Screaming noises? That’s just pre-marital jitters. Or something; you get my point.

As in all haunting games, have one or two unexplained things to suggest that the banshee actually was real, mourning the “death” of the last Malloy — because Kyler’s taking Matt’s name, or some other such nonsense. The sad thing is that it doesn’t really matter; anything that adds meat to the story would be an improvement on such a nothingburger of a game.

I would also bring in Alan, the best man, as more than a phone contact. Let’s face it, only having Kit and Donal as suspects (as Matt’s gone and Kyler doesn’t even pretend to count for a second) is really stupid, and this game needs some more detail and at least an hour more of playtime that doesn’t just involve getting lost in the bog.

Bring in Alan who is confused as to why he was chosen as best man, but suspects it’s because Kyler also has feelings for Kit and thus didn’t want Matt to choose him to be the Best Man (in other words, take out the weird social climbing angle). It would take a subtle hand, but I actually wouldn’t mind Alan having a bit of a thing for Matt himself, just to re-emphasize the “love is like an Egyptian painting; everyone is looking at the back of someone’s head” sort of theme we’ve got going on in this game.

The last thing I’d do is to bring Ned in, and have him be in the car with Nancy on their way. Think of it; usually wedding guests get a plus one; it would be a good excuse for Nancy to ask Ned out rather than leaving him behind as per usual, and Ned would probably be able to relate to Kit/Alan better than Nancy can, on account of Ned having actual emotional intelligence.

I wouldn’t say to have him be player-controlled, but I think Ned hanging around the castle, trying to help out with the emotional snarl that the guys have gotten themselves into (with Nancy focusing more on Donal and Kyler) would not only be in character, but would be a great way to make room for some emotional depth — something that Nancy herself, if not the games, usually skirts around or ignores entirely.

Would these changes fix the game completely and make it a winner? No, I don’t think so. I think the game is too structurally weak to really ever rise above mid-level, and possibly not even lower mid-level. But I think, along with some sprucing up of motivations and puzzles, these changes could help make HAU better than it is — and that’s worth it, no matter if it makes it into the Top 10 Nancy Drew Games list or not.

[kyberled]

Bird Headcanon Prompts!

@theshaark​ asked:

Falcon- what is your muse's biggest accomplishment? Do they like to show it off, or keep it to themselves?

That’s a tough one, and not just because he doesn’t like gloating about himself. He also just has a completely different metric than I do for a ‘great accomplishment’. So, I’m going to put a couple things (some he considers, and some I do) and talk about each of them a little bit. (Barring various battles he’s proud of, because if we include those, it’d be even longer than it already is.)

First is being chosen as a Jedi to begin with. He doesn’t consider this a  great accomplishment, as he doesn’t think he did anything, but he is proud of what he is. He won’t flaunt it, though. Or - he won’t flaunt it often. He doesn’t think being a Jedi makes him better than others, of above them in any sense. Jedi are servants of the Force, after all. ... That being said, if he needs to pull rank to get something done, it is quite useful.

Second is getting his crystals. This one, he’s pretty proud of. Given that it’s a pretty common thing for Jedi - as in, every Jedi does it - he doesn’t brag about it. ... Not often, at least. He is very proud of his sabers, and will talk about them at length if asked. I’m talking hours upon hours. It’s one of his ‘things’. He is very proud of the colour, but he won’t usually show it off unless it’s in jest. His best friend Hano was the other member of their group who found an unusual crystal during the Gathering. Every now and again, the rest of their group will ask them ‘what makes them so special’, and they’ll light up their sabers and make a show of strutting around. It’s just a joke for them, though, and usually leads to some good-natured sparring and playfighting.

Third is being chosen as Obi-Wan’s padawan. This is huge for him. He thought he wasn’t going to get picked, and there were reasons for this. Some of which Rodi and I recently discussed over Discord and I’m still giggling about, but Braig doesn’t know them. He’s very proud of his status, though, and adores his master whole-heartedly. He does sort of show this off, but in a different way. Obi-Wan is canonically loved by other members of the Order. He’s basically a celebrity. This means, when Braig is on nursery/creche duty, he entertains the kids with stories about his master. Sometimes he embellishes them, just a bit. This is also just because he knows how hard Obi-Wan works. He knows how much his dad suffers for the Order. He also knows Obi-Wan will never ask for acknowledgement; that’s not who he is. Braig just thinks his master ought to be appreciated. So, if the kids start clamoring for tales of Master Kenobi’s latest exploits, well, who is he to say no?

Then learning Vapaad. This is something he’s very proud of, but doesn’t actually employ especially often. @nieithryn​ and I have been talking about it for a while (mostly because we’re both messes about Grandpa Mace and his tiny grandson), but, Vapaad is interesting. It’s not just a fighting style. In the words of Shatterpoint, it’s a mindset. And it can mess you up bad if you’re not careful. Like, really bad. Like, ‘the Force tried to get Mace Windu to kill a child’ bad. He doesn’t, because Mace Windu is a good person, but the Force does tell him ‘he drew a knife on you, stab him’ and Mace almost has to say ‘no, he’s like, ten, we’re not doing that’. The Force also told him, ‘hey, you could kill this entire enemy force, and it wouldn’t even be hard’. That one took a bit more effort for him to be like ‘well, yeah, I could, but I shouldn’t and won’t’.

(Fuck it, this is a Vapaad essay now.)

Now, this is in part because Korun (the planet Mace was on) is naturally steeped in the Dark side, but also because Vapaad involves the user letting themselves tap into the Dark. Now, here’s the thing: I’ve always considered the Force to be alive and sentient. It is ancient and it is hungry, and its morals aren’t our morals. It’ll get in your head and drag you down and tear you apart. It does not care. Additionally, I don’t really think of it as a black and white sort of deal. It’s a gradient, not a light switch. It’s also extremely easy to fall into the Dark and not be let go. Braig, as a Jedi, knows this. That doesn’t make it any easier to handle. The Jedi don’t dabble in the Dark side often. Those that do can struggle to come back. The dark will dig its claws in and rip you apart mentally and physically to serve its purpose. Just look at some of the noteworthy Darksiders, in both Legends and canon; they all end up as warped echoes of who they were before. Braig has heard this enough times to know about it pretty damn well. The dark side is scary. And, as proud of my boy as I am, as hard as he works, he’s not a master. He’s not even a knight. He’s a teenage padawan. There is no possible way for him to have the mental clarity of a Jedi master. Both because he doesn’t have the training or experience, not by half, but also, because teenage brains are still developing. Again, it is literally impossible for him to have the control Mace does. And there are times Mace struggles with the Vapaad mindset.

Liz and I (and Rodi, here and there) have discussed Braig’s Vapaad training a lot. It starts when he’s thirteen - at about the same time he’s chosen as a padawan. Sometimes this is instead of ‘standard’ saber classes, sometimes this is instead of one of the blocks of self-guided practice he’s supposed to have. The training is usually split into two sections: The first is actually  training in Vapaad, the movements and philosophy and applications, and the second is coming down from it. It usually involves things like tea, meditation, naps, gentle conversation, guided breathing, and physical affection (eg hugs), as it’s all things that help ground Braig and help him get into a better mindset. And that’s all well and good in training. It’s fine in the Temple. It doesn’t work so well in battle. The older he gets, the more comfortable he might be with falling into the Vapaad mindset in combat, but - especially as a teenager - he considers it a last-resort option only. It’s too risky for him. The dark side scares him, and for good reason. One of the sifu I regularly train with (sifu Sam, for those who’ve been around a while) once told me that, if you do not fear a weapon, you are not ready to use it. It’s often called a ‘healthy fear’. It’s what keeps you from messing around with a weapon, being irresponsible, and getting hurt. Vapaad is devastating. The movements of someone who falls into Vapaad are described as “not blinding, but invisible” with the italics in-text. It is brutal and ruthless and possibly the deadliest form there is, but, of course, there’s the flip side that most Vapaad users have fallen to the dark, and not many of them are able to come back. Braig might incorporate some of the movements of Vapaad into his average fighting style, but, like I said, he’d only consider actually using it as a last resort, life or death sort of thing. When he’s training with Mace, he can sit down afterwards, have a cup of tea, and take a moment to breathe to get away from the viciousness of the Force. You don’t get that on a battlefield, especially when your adrenaline is rushing, and there’s an army of adrenaline-charged Mandos with you, and you might be hurt, or tired, or someone you love might be hurt or tired or worse, who knows? You don’t necessarily get time to breathe. He’s scared of what might happen if he can’t come down in time, or at all - he doesn’t want to hurt anyone.

That’s not to say he isn’t proud of learning Vapaad. He’s extremely proud, mostly  because of how few people are actually taught the form, but also because he gets to learn it from one of the people who created it. That’s a huge deal to him, he thinks it’s awesome. He just doesn’t think it’s appropriate for him to go bragging about it (especially because of how dangerous he quickly realizes it can be) - might make him seem like an unworthy student, too, which he doesn’t want. It’s similar to his sabers, wherein his friends might teasingly ask when they get to learn Vapaad, and he’d respond with a cheeky ‘uh, never’, but he’d never seriously gloat about it.

The Vapaad talk leads into his next ‘greatest accomplishment’: Killing General Grau Tessk. This is the first time Braig takes a life. It’s not the first time he’s seen anyone die, mind; he’s a medic. It’s a war. He’s seen a lot of men die. A lot of friends die. Either they died in combat, or, almost worse for his emotional wellbeing, they died on the way to or in the med tent. Sometimes they’re civilians. War isn’t pretty, it isn’t merciful. It takes until there’s nothing left to take, or you stop it. Or  both. It’s usually both. So yes, Braig has seen people die. He’s just never killed before.

The Separatist army uses battle droids. Whether or not they’re sentient - that’s an ongoing discussion in the fandom at large - they’re not alive. They’re robots. They don’t generate a presence in the Force. You don’t feel it when they ‘die’. Heck, one of the droids in the Ryloth arc even mentions that some units (older ones) are run from a central computer, so if a droid does have a consciousness, cutting down the body might not even ‘kill’ the consciousness.

It’s different killing a person. You can feel them die. You can feel  their presence sever from the Force (especially when you’re trained as a medic). Braig, like all Jedi, have been taught the value of life since he was old enough to understand. All life is of equal and immeasurable value.

And he just killed someone.

He doesn’t even remember a lot of it, even if it were something to brag about. Part of that is just the physical state he was in at the time: Tired, worn down, sleep deprived, malnourished, and, right, he’d just taken a lightsaber to the face. He wasn’t doing well. He’s been well-trained, but we’ve seen in canon that the styles he uses (the ones Obi-Wan uses) don’t do well with negative emotions. That’s why Maul and Savage beat the hell out of him. Vapaad isn’t like that. Vapaad takes every last drop of anger and fear and everything that you have and turns them not into bullets, but into nuclear armaments. Scorched earth. Additionally, so few people actually study Vapaad that most Separatists - even Grievous, who is trained in being able to learn and copy saber styles - don’t know anything about it, including how to defend. Tessk has fought Jedi before. Tessk hadn’t fought Vapaad before. If it wasn’t for that, there’s a very good chance Braig might have been the one to die instead of our dear general. It wasn’t a clean death in any sense; Tessk ended up in multiple parts. Personally, I think he had it coming, but Braig is a Jedi, and the idea that he killed someone shook him up terribly. It didn’t help that, as I’ve mentioned, it’s hard to get out of the mindset Vapaad requires. Kriss and Boone helped him out of the area, but there was definitely a good few minutes where they were trying to get Braig to talk to them and Vapaad/the Force was going ‘you don’t want to be touched, you want to be safe, you need to kill these people’ and Braig had to take a few breaths to remind himself that, no, Kriss and Boone are friends (or, at the least, he respected Kriss as an ally, but their weird are-they-aren’t-they-friends isn’t the topic here), and he REALLY didn’t want to hurt anyone else, especially not them. It came too close for comfort, though, and definitely spooked him pretty bad. I don’t know if he ever talked about it with the two of them - I’m not sure he could - but it’s definitely something he wants to talk about with Grandpa Mace, so here’s my reminder to bother Liz some time in the future.

If you couldn’t guess, no, he doesn’t brag about this. He feels awful about it. He expects to be punished. Jedi don’t kill. Jedi aren’t executioners. He killed someone. He took a life. He omits a lot of things in the official reports he files - including the real cause of Mal’s death - but doesn’t omit the fact that he cut down Tessk. If asked, he’d say that he accepts whatever punishment the Council deems fit. Of course, all of the grown-ups he’s discussed it with - including those on the Council - tell him, uh, no, you’re not in trouble, that was self-defense, you didn’t have a choice, but. It doesn’t really sink in. Yes, he had a choice, he thinks. He made the wrong one. Tessk should have stood trial. He would’ve been declared guilty easily, sure, but he should have stood trial. Even the notion that there would’ve been no way for them to hold Tessk until the Republic arrived doesn’t sit well for him. It translates into ‘I killed him because it was convenient’. Again, it... It takes him a while. He doesn’t really accept it until at least a good few months, if not a year or more, later.

Then we have surviving Order 66. This is huge. He’s one of the few Jedi who survive. He just... Doesn’t always want to be. Remember, he’s only seventeen when the purge happens. He’s still a child. He can’t even vote yet. And - in the ‘canon’ timeline - he deals with the genocide of his people alone. He has friends he eventually runs into and shacks up with, sure, but the earlier part of his developmental years were spent fighting a war, and the later end of that period was spent escaping a genocide. You can see why he doesn’t feel like celebrating. He doesn’t show this one off, either, because if anyone knew he was a Jedi, he’d be hunted down in the streets and shot. He gets a bit more bold with what he is once he’s situated with the Rebellion, but, before that? It’s best to just be safe.

I would also put his journal among one of his greatest accomplishments, though it’s not quite so grandiose. It’s something he’s kept since he was thirteen years old. He never really ‘finishes’ it until he knows he’s about done in life - his mid 220′s - and just digitized old pages and bought new ones (yes, it’s flimsi, he’s very attached to it). It has notes on everything from missions, to classes, to day to day life, to saber forms; reminders jotted in the margins about assignments or shopping lists, tic-tac-toe games, riddles Obi-Wan wrote in the corners, hangman games, linguistic notes, drawings, blueprints for lightsabers, botanical notes for plants and flowers he’s pressed... He always means to organize them better, and perhaps does later on, but in the end, it’s hard to present it as anything more than it is: Just a journal. It remains one of the only truthful records of the Jedi Order, though, and he will - after the Empire falls, of course - gladly share its content with anyone who asks. (... Maybe not some of the more covert or dangerous information, though.)

In a happier time, he becomes a knight, and he is very proud of that; years and years later, he becomes a master, as well. I’ve had multiple people suggest he sit on the Council, someday, and I think - when he was older and more experienced - he’d be happy to. He’s a terror about it, always scrutinizing everything he can, but what he does, he does out of love for the Order and those who comprise it, and faith in what they can be.

But above all, the thing he is most proud of at the end of his days - regardless of timeline - are his students, his children, his padawans. Whether his lineage continues on first through Tet (also at @nieithryn​) in the ‘canon’ timeline, or he starts first with his puffawan F’lurr ( @strcngered​ ) before the blueberry son in a happier life and continues on with others like them, he’s so proud of them. He firmly believes they’ll be better than he ever was, and is so glad of that. They make him happy, they frustrate him at times and make him laugh when he thought he couldn’t. Things like watching Tet grow in confidence from the scared little one huddling in the corner of an Imperial ship’s holding bay to a capable and strong diplomat, watching F’lurr sprout and find their stride among some of the best swordsmen the Order has ever known, that’s what shows him everything he’s been through was worth it. (Sorry, T’raa, sorry, Tholme, his dandelion, now.) (Not sorry to the ‘Kosu parents, meet him behind Dex’s at dawn for a shebskicking.) They’re his legacy, they’re the legacy of every Jedi in his own lineage, they’re the legacy of the Order as a whole, and he’s so, so proud of them.

He just really fuckin’ loves his kids, guys. (But I’ve written about that before, and a lot here, so I’ll cut this off before I make my own muse cry.)

[modernagesomniari]

Author Interview

Tagged by @pikapeppa who is, as you all know, wondrous.

I’m still pretty new on this scene so this was quite intimidating tbh, but I thought I’d give it a go anyway!  Tagging forward to @eluviansandevanuris @darlingrutherford @another-rogue-trevelyan and anyone else who wants to - let me know so I can come read your things! 😏  Also, always let me know if you don’t like being tagged in stuff, that’s 100% fine just let me know.

Name: ModernAgeSomniari.  Somni for short.

Fandoms:  Right now I’m just writing for Dragon Age - I haven’t written for a GOOD long time and this is what is inspiring me right now.  Though there are two rogue WOW fics on my AO3.....

Where You Post: I post here and on AO3.   Look for #mywriting on my tumblr and I’m on AO3 as ModernAgeSomniari.  I do quite a few headcanons as well, they are also on both and sort of count as stories? Ish?

Most Popular One-Shot:  The Strong Man Knows.  This is a snippet between Daniel Trevelyan/Dorian.  Short but sweet, I guess?  It was also one of the first things I wrote for the fandom so I’m happy folks seem to like it!

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story: Now see I technically don’t have one of these yet.  I have a running series called Mala Suledin Nadas which follows Eli Lavellan (with strong Solavellan leanings and multiple POVs) and is inspired by actual gaming moments I come across as I’m playing her.  Most of these are either snippets, slices of life or oneshots but there are potentially a couple that may turn multi-chaptered, depending on inspiration and confidence tbh.

Favourite Story You Wrote: Apart from That Ocean Carries Everyone (which fitted the category below more!) it’s probably When I Waked, I Cried to Dream Again.  It’s Solavellan and a little tricksy, but it marks the first time I start delving into (very short) smexy times so I’m proud of it for that.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: That Ocean Carries Everyone, without a frickin doubt.  It’s a Solas POV fic that came to me all in a rush from a title idea (that my brain turned into a prompt) by @siberianspring and I’m kind of raw about it.  It touches on some headcanons I have about the war to come and posits a possible turning point in Solas.  Maybe.  Ugh I’m a mess over this one - I think it’s pretty common for writers to be nervous about fics that they feel very close to!

How You Choose Your Titles:  Usually there’s an essence to a story that I want to introduce to a reader before they start and which will make more sense once they’re done.  Either that or quotes.  I’m a massive literary nerd so things like ‘When I Waked’ are Shakespeare.  

Complete: Well....most of them are one-shots and/or on-going as I play through the game so yes? I guess?  Any longer ones I have aren’t started yet so I’m taking this precious time to say ‘yes’ before I ruin it all by actually starting stuff. Eheh

Incomplete:  Ehehe see above.

Do You Outline? For one shots?  Often not, I’ll have an idea and then work my way through.  For the longer ones I’m thinking of, I’m trying to.  Part of what I want out of writing fic for me right now is to train and develop my creative writing so I’m trying to be strict with myself.  If anyone has any tips/wants to talk writing challenges I’m always up for help/mutual support goodness!

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started:  Right.  Well:

I have a few smutty Solavellan one-shots in mind - some based on how Eli and Solas canon don’t have sex during the main game - so there’ll be fantasies and pining.  Some, however, are based on a ‘What If?” series I want to make about them where they do have sex during the events of the main game because if I can’t decide they have naughty Lover’s Alcove sex in the Summer Market in my head then what the hell is fanfic even for?

An origins fic for Eli where we deal with over-curious elves, apostates, templars and the wrath of Clan Lavellan

Waaaaaay more entries into Mala Suledin Nadas.  I’m falling behind a little but there are some really sweet ones I’m waiting to get on with!

Do You Accept Prompts? YES I DO.  I’ll sometimes take some time to write them (both because I like to do them justice and also because pandemic+work is ruining me a little) and its very unpredictable whether you’ll get a drabble or a full on series but yes, I definitely do.

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Honestly, I’m ready to start practicing some smut stuff in the ‘What If?’ series.  Other than that, I have an Eli oneshot dealing with her fears of Tranquility that was inspired by bringing both Solas and Vivienne to see Conner at Redcliffe that I’m really excited about.  I really need to start just writing smut more to cut through all this character development and angst.

[bondsmagii]

I mean to ask this genuinely, no hostility, but can you explain how you correlate scp to being in a cult? I dont disagree, I just cant articulate the reasoning as to why I dont disagree, and would like to see where youre coming from with this. Also, could you tag it with cults or cult discussion or something similar, please? Thanks! Have a good day.

OK [cracks knuckles] I will try and keep this as short as possible, but you have to understand I’ve been observing the wiki in the wild literally since its inception, so there is a lot of stuff to consider. anyway let’s buckle up.

[EDIT: after finishing, this is obnoxiously long. sorry. I encourage people to read it though, because yikes.]

I base this theory on a set of guidelines set out for spotting if an organisation might be a cult. generally cults are religiously based; obviously this does not apply here. as far as I’m aware, nobody sees the SCP wiki as a religion (yet). because of this a couple of the points regarding spotting a cult are irrelevant (they concern things like separation from the Church which obviously doesn’t apply) but nearly all of the others (even some religious ones) can apply if we provide context. so without further ado:

Signs You’re In A Cult and How the SCP Wiki Literally Fits Into All of Them

let’s start with the most obvious:

opposing critical thinking

something that has long pissed me off about the SCP wiki has been its complete inability to think critically. staff will literally ban people for criticising them, and the parameters of “criticism” have only grown wider and wider over the years. anything that is the “party line” is sacred; nothing can be improved upon because it’s already perfect, and Staff Knows Best. any policy changes are law, and any dissenting voices are silenced – even among younger staff members (length of service wise, not age wise). I have seen staff put on probation or demoted for arguing against pointless or pedantic policy changes; I have seen people of all levels banned for arguing with staff. if this doesn’t happen right away, arguing with staff over their decisions will absolutely get a target on your back, and they will find a way to ban or demote you as soon as they can.

any criticism on the wiki is frowned upon unless it comes from the Major Staff Members – these are people at the top of the hierarchy who can do no wrong, and as you can imagine, they’ve done some shit. staff has always had a problem with elitism, bullying, and even abusive behaviour (blah blah blah #NotAllStaff, but the ratio is quite concerning) and any criticism of their behaviour or even pointing this fact out is dangerous if you want to remain on the wiki. hell, I know many people who are aware of this who don’t speak up because they’re genuinely scared of retaliation. a lot of staff are really nasty people, and because of this attitude they are beyond criticism.

isolating members and penalising them for leaving

the penalising them for leaving part isn’t strictly accurate, because as far as I know, nobody has ever been bullied or threatened into staying on the wiki. however, I do remember a while back (2011/2012-ish) when the Foundation RP community began to show up on Tumblr, and the wiki began to get a fanbase that wasn’t contained on the site itself. staff were not happy about this and to this day they still constantly try and get a monopoly on all off-site locations. they have an official Offsite Outreach Team (yes, that’s its real name) who “reach out” to communities on other platforms (YouTube, Reddit, Tumblr, etc) and set up an Official Presence there, and then they encourage everyone to use the Official Presence rather than the fan-made ones (which are often more established and better/more consistently run). there have been several off-site spats between staff and the fandom, because they arrive demanding the authority and respect they have on the wiki and get Big Mad when they don’t get it. just recently one (now ex) staff member, djkaktus, went absolutely primal on Reddit and banned a whole bunch of the community for daring to say that they didn’t like the new LGBT logo for pride month (many of these people were LGBT themselves and felt as though it was pandering/putting targets on their backs); several more years ago (2014, I believe?) I myself had a run in with the Outreach Team and it was one fucking hell of a headache that ended in a malicious smear campaign against me, so like. yeah.

as for isolating members, they do this via elitism. the above is an example of it (making everyone feel a sense of obligation or loyalty to the Official Presence), but a huge part of it has always been the elitist attitude prevalent on the wiki. the SCP wiki has high standards for writing (allegedly… I’ve seen some garbage on there tbh, same as any other website) and it uses this to bully and demean its users. criticism of writing is overly harsh but highly encouraged; anyone complaining that it was too cruel (which it often is) is ridiculed for being too sensitive. (staff have been working on this for years, but really nothing has changed; people have just gotten more between-the-lines about it.) this encourages a kind of desperation among new users to “rise up the ranks” and earn respect so they can be the ones dishing out the criticism instead; they will do so and then immediately act in accordance to their status, bullying others how they were bullied and sticking to their own “rank”. brief interruption: staff and bootlickers if you’re reading this and thinking of reblogging to defend yourself, the code word is yeet. if I do not see the word yeet in your reply I will know you have not read this thoroughly and tell me why I should then bother reading anything you have to say.staff themselves is incredibly removed and closed off from the rest of the community; they have a bunch of private chat rooms they hang out in, and inter-dating is common. they don’t tend to interact much outside the flock, and are the definition of cliquey. joining this rank is supposed to be an achievement, but really it’s probably the most dangerous place to be. I have seen so many staff members have literal, clinical mental breakdowns over the strain and treatment they suffer.

(there’s nowhere to neatly slot this in, so: I don’t know how many people have noticed this, but SCP fans, when you spot them on other platforms, are snooty. not casual fans, but those involved with the wiki? I can spot them from a mile away, because whenever the Foundation is mentioned, there they are, acting like they’re part of some cool club. some of these people are innocent (they’re just mimicking the behaviour of other members) but some of them really do seem to think that their site is somehow better than whatever site they’re on, and it’s really creepy to see.)

emphasising special doctrines outside of scripture

obviously this is religion-specific, but with context it can fit. if we take scripture to mean SCP lore, and special doctrines to mean differing headcanons, ideas, writing styles, etc… oh boy.

there’s something that’s often said on the wiki: there is no canon. buddy, there is. yes, you can write whatever you want technically, and you can disregard headcanons you don’t like and you can build on different things and theoretically people can just ignore your shit if they don’t like it, but that is not what happens. there is absolutely a canon, and deviating from it will get you downvoted into oblivion and even personally attacked. people will accuse you of the most ridiculous shit, like desecrating the wiki or betraying the universe or whatever. so where does the emphasising part of this come in?

why, it’s simple! if one of these special doctrines (headcanons or whatever) comes from staff or an Approved Member, it’s fine. go nuts. even if it’s something that anybody else would be absolutely slaughtered for, it’s fine if staff approves. there is no creative freedom on that wiki, and anyone attempting to carve a piece out for themselves will suffer for it. one of my close friends still gets hate for an SCP he wrote featuring heavy headcanons and building on existing lore about a well-known character, and some of this hate is because he didn’t set the fucking article out “how it should be”. 

seeking inappropriate loyalty to their leaders

oh boy. staff are god on that website. they’ll deny it, but they know it’s true. many of them are arrogant and, in my opinion, some of them are pathologically narcissistic. they think they are hot shit, and they encourage people on the site to believe the same. a huge majority of users on the wiki are high school students, so 15-18 years old. the next huge group are college-aged, so 19-22 or so. several staff members are in their mid-20s up to 30s, maybe even coming 40s or early 40s now. when you’re in your mid-20s, it’s very easy to look cool to a 15-year-old. it’s very easy to look at a young userbase and convince them that you’re hot shit, and that’s what staff do. they act like it; most users respond to it, and if anyone dissents? see point one.

staff have always had double standards. from the very beginning of staff, they have gotten away with a lot more than the average user. staff have been allowed to bully, ridicule, harass, dismiss, shit upon, and target people with reckless abandon, usually only meeting punishment when other staff members feel too inconvenienced by them. a lot of the time when they’re punished, it’s a lot lighter than it would have been for an average user (a month ban rather than a permaban, for example). this is seen as almost a point of hilarity for a lot of people, who think it’s cool and just a right you get when you’re staff. you know best, you’ve seen some shit – who can blame you for slamdunking a 15-year-old’s first SCP?

the amount of respect and adoration these people demand is ridiculous, and anybody daring to criticise them ends up on a shitlist. staff show up in other areas (Tumblr or Reddit) and expect that same amount of respect, even among people outside of the wiki who might just be casual fans. they act a lot more important than they are, and demand that everyone treats them appropriately. I’ve seen staff members throw shitfits because they didn’t get enough upvotes for their articles, and many staff members’ quality of work declines when they make staff, simply because they know that they’ll get easy upvotes as soon as people realise it’s a staff member who wrote it. downvotes are enough to get you put on a shitlist. 

publicly, their word is law. you are not allowed to debate with them in the forums if they put a “stop” on the topic; the same applies in the IRC chat. if staff says “stop”, you will be punished if you mention it again. you are allowed to discuss it with them privately, but I think that’s rather insidious, as staff have been known to twist facts and withhold information before. this gives them a public persona of always being right – and something else that cults do is silence dissenting voices so nobody who might agree can see other people saying the same things and feel encouraged/emboldened. 

crossing Biblical boundaries of behaviour

again, we’ll need to contextualise this. if Biblical boundaries are things like sins and all the stuff the Bible says Do Not Do, then in this context these are the wiki rules. staff (and their friends) will constantly cross the rules, as previously mentioned, and they will get away with it.

the wiki rules say “don’t be a dick”. I have caught staff bullying people countless times, and no doubt there’s more I haven’t caught. even out in the open, staff are argumentative, dismissive, rude, intimidating, and oftentimes plain nasty. the wiki rules say “don’t coldpost articles; get feedback”. staff is just out there throwing their shit onto the wiki and expecting an avalanche of upvotes in five minutes Or Else. policies are made that set parameters and staff changes them whenever convenient – for example, the long-standing rule that things that occur off-site are not the responsibility of the Disciplinary Committee (yes, its name.). unless, of course, it’s someone they don’t like. a major staff member bullies somebody on Tumblr? “sorry, it was offsite, not our problem”. someone staff doesn’t like gets into a brief spat on Reddit? banned for harassment. 

there are countless examples of this, from small things to major things like bullying, harassment, and even abuse (or enabling of abuse). staff will punish people for transgressions and then turn a blind eye to a fellow staff member committing a transgression that was ten times worse. they have even protected rapists and sexual predators in the past – another kind of behaviour common in cults, because that’s what happens when you combine narcissism and entitlement with total authority.

that’s the main bulk of it

but now the context has been established, here are a few more concerning things I’ve noticed (quickfire now):

cults shit on former members

and the wiki does the same. any staff member that’s grown fed up of the groupthink and the cliquey attitude and how nasty people are or who has been mistreated by staff themselves; any regular user who feels the same and vocally quits? shat upon. lauded as a bastion of whatever is wrong with the wiki. declared an Enemy and rallied against. it is so creepy.

cults use Us vs Them mentality, especially in language

broad declarations establishing a community and a community spirit in the face of adversity are common in cults. appeals to emotion and loyalty are used in a very manipulative way. catastrophising and fearmongering is common, too. I’m seeing this in how the recent drama with the legal issues is being handled. broad appeals to “defend the wiki”, hashtags being encouraged, emotional speeches from staff about how it’s a make or break situation… 

…and this is being reflected in the absolutely insane comments people are responding with.

this is a fucking writing website. the above is not a normal reaction at all.

the attitudes of regular users quickly grow concerning

people very quickly get obsessed with the wiki and it defines their lives. they seem to feel as though they owe something to it or they need to serve some kind of a purpose; many people try and “get the word out” and become voluntary spokespeople. they go around practically preaching, and I do not see the users of any other website doing this.

cults want full control over how they’re seen by outsiders

and the scp wiki does the same. as mentioned previously, when the fandom grew and spiralled off the wiki to other sites, staff debated for weeks over what to do. brief interruption the second code is shrek is life.they were not comfortable with the idea of the wiki having an independent fandom, and for years now they have been in constant struggle with offsite communities, trying to gain the same amount of control they have over the wiki. it’s impossible to do so thoroughly, and it’s clearly an annoyance for them.

cult leaders will let “lesser” members do their dirty work for them

and guess what staff does? rather than wade in there and get their hands dirty with internet arguments, they’ll sit back and let regular users dogpile on dissenters and say all the things staff shouldn’t be seen to say in public. note how even if this would violate the bullying policies, they’ll just get a warning so long as staff agrees. 

in conclusion

@ everyone on the scp wiki: yall know you’re in a cult, right?

[storiesofwildfire]

@incrediblewithin asked: Headcanon ask spam because I love Loki

So, since you asked me for more random headcanons, I really wanted to take this as an opportunity to discuss something you and I have talked about privately, but I’ve been meaning to write a headcanon on for a while and haven’t gotten around to yet.

And that is the stigma wrapped into MCU over the scene in the original Avengers film where Hulk smashes Loki and results in Loki being terrified of Hulk. MCU loves to portray Loki being terrified of Hulk. The fandom loves grabbing ahold of the idea and running with it that Loki’s terrified of Hulk. It’s a huge thing and, to be quite honest with you? I think it’s kind of stupid.

I mean? Okay, Hulk picked Loki up and smashed them around a couple of times. Loki’s body literally broke the concrete floors because Loki’s body can withstand extreme amounts of damage. In actuality, Hulk didn’t really hurt them all that much. A few scrapes and bruises and what was likely a sore hip, but that’s it.

Hulk didn’t maim Loki. Hulk didn’t break Loki. Hulk didn’t do even a fraction of the damage he could have done. Loki was able to stand up and walk it off almost immediately ( Loki lying there was pure dramatics, let’s be honest ). So yes, it hurt, but was it a beating worth developing an actual fear of Hulk? No, absolutely not. Loki, who has been in literal wars, who has taken beatings from Gods, Goddesses, and monsters, who has given birth to massive children, who has been through literal physical and psychological torture...

Would not be terrified of someone just because they beat them up, you feel me?

I know it’s comical to think about Loki being positively fearful of Hulk, but I really don’t see a basis for that line of thought at all. Odin would be more terrifying to Loki than Hulk and we see Loki literally dethrone Odin, put a spell on him so he forgot his own memory, and yeeted him off Asgard. Thanos would be more terrifying to Loki than Hulk and we see Loki--while fearful--willingly stand up to Thanos.

I don’t know about y’all, but someone being strong enough to pick them up and toss them around would not result in unrelenting fear of said person. Loki is a literal deity who has faced far worse things than Hulk’s brute strength, so this melodramatic overreaction MCU and the fandom loooove to cling to really makes me squint. 

A lot. 

In fact, I’d go as far as to say that Hulk actually helped Loki more than anything else.

While it was speculation for a long time, we now canonly know that Loki was not only working for Thanos but under the control of the Mind Gem during the events of the Avengers. The Gem is part of the reason we see a version of Loki we’ve never seen. Sickly, unable to stand up straight, taking enjoyment in pure violence, mimicking behavior he’d seen in Odin, literally taking control of people’s minds and unleashing an army on people totally and completely unprepared to deal with an advanced alien lifeform? 

We’ve seen Loki’s fall, but his crimes in the original Thor film were no worse than that of his brother’s--the story’s hero. The events of that film were pieces to the puzzle, but the truth is, Loki went through a massive change after falling from the Bifrost. Loki appeared on Midgard as a completely different person, a person hardly recognizable as Loki outside of appearance and aesthetic. Much of that was Thanos’s abuse and influence built on top of Loki’s already existing pain, but a lot of it was also the Infinity Stone inside their mind.

Hulk is the first person we see confront Loki who can actually leave a mark on them at all. Hulk is the first person we see who is able to stand up to Loki and actually harm and/or subdue them in any way. Hulk is the first person after Thanos and his followers who actually manages to get through to Loki.

I don’t know that Hulk completely knocked the Mind Gem’s hold out of Loki’s head. I have quite a few thoughts on the process of being separated from the Gem and how traumatic not having its presence actually was for Loki and it took quite a bit of time to remove, recover, and cope with the loss, but I do 100% believe that Hulk’s thrashing of Loki is the first time Loki’s able to think with a clear mind, the first time the Mind Gem’s hold on Loki slips up for any significant period of time.

Think about it, truly and honestly. Loki had two Infinity Stones and an alien army with advanced weaponry at their disposal. On top of Loki’s own magic, battle prowess, experience, intelligence, and unpredictability ( while being able to predict the thoughts, behaviors, and actions of their opponents quite well ), Loki should not have had any issue defeating five mortals and their brother. 

But instead of getting up after Hulk’s smashing session and continuing on, Loki just laid there? We know for a fact that Hulk didn’t damage Loki much, because they literally walk it off within minutes. So Loki just? Laid there? Giving the Avengers the time they needed to put a stop to their plans without Loki interfering at all? Just for the dramatics of it?

Loki literally failed the one mission Thanos demanded they complete or else because they just sat around after Hulk threw them into the ground a few times.

Why?

Because the Mind Gem’s hold on Loki wavered then, started shaking loose, and for the first time in a long, long time Loki had the ability to stop, analyze what they were doing, understand that it was not only wrong but not something they actively wanted and could make the conscious decision not to continue.

I have another headcanon to write about Loki losing the war on purpose, so I won’t ramble too much about that here, but the truth of the matter is, Loki’s not afraid of Hulk and honest to Gods, Hulk helped Loki more than I think Hulk was even capable of knowing.

Upon remeeting, Loki might have been hesitant or unsure based on not knowing how Hulk would react to them, but uncertainty is not the same thing as fear. If nothing else, Loki would probably apologize for the cruel words they said about Hulk ( the insults that literally prompted Hulk to attack Loki. People love to make Loki into a victim in this situation, but Loki was not a victim. Hulk was protecting himself, his friends, and responding to Loki blatantly insulting him in the mix of it all. There is not victimization of Loki in this scenario ) and thank Hulk for their help because, truly, Hulk did help them. So much.

So yeah, I’d love to drop this dumb stereotype that a literal God is terrified of Hulk because of the one time Hulk managed to cause a couple of booboos and called them puny. Hulk is the last person Loki would actually be afraid of.

That said, Loki doesn’t exactly want to be tossed around by Hulk again, but that’s not fear, that’s just common sense. 

Also, just as a side note to think about: We literally see Hulk listen to Loki in canon on more than on occasion. Hulk literally stops when Loki says stop. Hulk literally rushes in when Loki calls for him. Hulk listens to Loki. Hulk has shown willingness to do as Loki asks. Why would Loki be terrified of Hulk when Hulk? Literally? Listens? To them?

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview taken from The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.  (Admin approved)

 https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Loten and welcome to Behind the Quill, thank-you for letting us get to know you a little better.

Many of our members will know your works with Post Tenebras, Lux and Chasing the Sun being considered classics for the SS/HG pairing.

Thanks for the invitation, hello everyone.

What's the story behind your pen name?

There's a werewolf novel, Bareback by Kit Whitfield. In one scene a character is looking at the moon and mentions that in Old English poetry they would use the term loten to describe a night when the moon was bright enough to see by. I haven't been able to verify it since the author may well have invented it, but I love nights like that and I liked the word, and the rest is history.

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

I get asked this a lot, actually. There is no one character, I don't think - I identify to some extent with most of the characters that feature more frequently in my fics, or I wouldn't be able to write them (the exception is Lucius, as far as I can tell he's truly fictional and not derived from anything in me). I probably have more in common with Hermione than the others, at least my version of her, but it's hard to say for sure.

Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general)

Fantasy all the way. My mother nagged me into reading The Hobbit when I was around seven or eight, and that was it. I do read other genres but a good 85 per cent of my reading material almost certainly has magic or dragons somewhere in it.

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

I have a few. I like all of Austen's works, my favourite is probably Sense & Sensibility. I've just finished re-reading Jane Eyre. I like Elizabeth Gaskell's novels as well.

At what age did you start writing?

My mother is one of those parents who hoards everything her offspring do, and among the boxes of paper is a short story I wrote and illustrated when I was maybe five, about a flying shoe (imaginatively titled The Magic Clog). And when I was six I had a poem published in an anthology of children's verse (I don't remember how that came about; I think my school was asked to get involved, had a competition and picked out a few that ended up in the book) - my contribution was a piece of free verse about a dripping tap. So it's something I've always done, though I started taking it more seriously as a teenager developing roleplay characters.

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

My best friend when I was around thirteen was into fanfiction, she wrote Stargate SG-1 and Buffy the Vampire Slayer fiction at the time. I don't know how she got into it herself but she introduced me to reading it, though it was a year or two before I found the courage to try writing any. My early stuff was... not very good, and I will never admit to being the author of any of it now!

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

Oh, that's a hard one. I like seeing consequences being explored - often authors will give a character the backstory or motivation they need them to have for the sake of the plot, but if it's not one of the main characters they won't pay it any more attention after that. When it's done well, I do like stories exploring the realism of just how a character would be affected by what happens to them. It adds a new dimension to their personality, and the psychology behind it is interesting in its own right. We're a product of our experiences, and so are fictional people. I try to show it in my writing as well - why a character does something is as important as the thing itself.

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

I read fics from all sorts of fandoms, but Discworld was where I first started writing (badly). It's a pretty small fandom despite the legions of fans worldwide, so I got to know a few writers there and learned more about what I was doing. Took a break for a while due to personal reasons, and when I returned under this name I started off in the even smaller Tamora Pierce fandom, trying my wings before entering the madness of Harry Potter. These days the Potterverse is still my first love along with the other two, but others include the Wheel of Time, Good Omens and too many smaller ones to list. I don't write for them or anything so active, though.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

Snape surviving, and the HG/SS ship, naturally! Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet?

Music, or Youtube videos (I watch a lot of Let's Plays), or just having the TV on. I can't concentrate in complete silence, my mind wanders to other things. I also talk to myself if there's no other source of noise and I'm trying to break the habit.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

This would have been far easier to answer a few years ago, but I read less and less fanfiction as time goes by and I don't read Potter fics at all any more. My personal headcanons have developed more and more over the years, and nobody's headcanon is the same as anyone else's, so I end up disagreeing with fics these days because it's not how I would have done it and it makes it difficult to enjoy them.

The best fic I ever read was also the one that introduced me to HG/SS, but at some point, along the way, it was deleted and the author removed their account, and I've never managed to remember the title or pen name to look for it elsewhere. I don't remember the plot either after so long, but the characterisation was absolutely superb and the ship just made so much sense that I never looked back.

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

A plotter, definitely. I always have a first draft mostly complete before I start uploading anything. Initially, it was just because I realised I was writing longer stories and didn't want to risk hitting writer's block or real-life delays and having to go on hiatus in the middle of uploading a story, but later I realised I preferred it. I don't have to worry about writing myself into a corner or contradicting myself, I can take the time to make sure things are coming across the way I want them to. And it means I never have to force myself to write 'the next chapter' to a deadline - if I don't want to work on whatever comes next, I can jump ahead and write something later in the plot that I do want to work on. I also find it a lot easier to plan a story around a timeline to get the overall pacing right.

What is your writing genre of choice?

I don't really know what you'd call it. Slice of life, I suppose? I like stories about characters rather than about plots.

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Most of them, in their own way. My Tamora Pierce series, even though they're nothing groundbreaking and even though I know I could write them far better now, because they were the first things I wrote that I felt truly pleased with and because the overwhelmingly positive responses gave me the confidence to keep going, to try for something completely original rather than a retelling, and to venture into a far bigger and much more terrifying fandom.

Post Tenebras Lux, because it's (almost) exactly the story I wanted to tell and (almost) exactly the way I wanted to tell it. Chasing the Sun because it's the best written of anything I've done and I can see how much I've improved over the years, although I prefer the content of PTL. And I'm incredibly proud of the thousands upon thousands of positive and constructive reviews both of them gathered along the way,

I never expected to attract much notice at all and it's been a tremendous help to me both as a confidence boost and helping me see more about how others view storylines and characters in ways that I'd miss. I think overall it's PTL I'm most proud of, with CTS a close second.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

Talking about CTS and PTL both, they're more or less the way I imagined them. Sometimes I'd get a review showing me a perspective I'd never considered, and one or two of them ended up having quite a long-running impact. Sometimes I'd reach a point, particularly in CTS, and realise that what I had planned for that part of the story wasn't going to work and I'd end up writing something completely different.

During the writing of both of them I mostly learned about how my brain works and how to organise myself to write at my best - I think I've learned more after they were done; I re-read both of them every year or so and see things I could have done differently and things that work and things I no longer agree with.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

Back to PTL for this one, since most of CTS' plot isn't completely mine. I never planned it to be particularly personal to me; at the time I just wanted to write about my favourite character and give him a better ending than canon did, and enjoy myself telling the story. As I went along and started touching on different subjects it became more personal - I've experienced bullying and depression, amongst other things, though fortunately not on the same scale as the characters I write about. I think it made it both harder and easier; stirring up old memories wasn't particularly pleasant, but it meant less time researching and rewriting those particular parts because it felt more real, to begin with.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

That's another hard one. Subconsciously I think almost everything you read influences you at least a little. I tend to divide books into three categories - ones I don't enjoy and don't finish (which is rare but does happen), ones that were good but ultimately forgettable, and ones that deserve to be re-read, and I've probably learned something from almost all of the latter kind.

If I had to name one author it would be Terry Pratchett. His writing spanned such a vast spectrum it blew my mind wide open from the first time I picked up one of his books (I think I was ten or so) and he's still the author I come back to time and time again and find something to enjoy and appreciate no matter what my mood is. He's known for humour but there's so much more in everything he wrote. As for how outside influences show in my writing, I really don't know but I can guarantee they're there.

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

Not really. Some of my school friends did, but over the years I've lost touch with all of them. Of my family and current friends, the ones that would understand fanfiction don't share the fandoms I write for, and the others just wouldn't understand the concept. I'm not ashamed of it, I just don't know how to explain it to someone who has no overlap with this world. Some of my online friends know, but half of them I met via my fanfics in the first place, so I'm not sure that counts!

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"?

Where fanfiction is concerned, there's no point doing anything else. If you're trying to make a career out of writing you do have to write for your audience at least to some extent, but one of the joys of something not for profit like fanfiction is that you can tell the stories you want to tell and don't need to impress anyone.

The whole reason PTL exists is that I couldn't find a fic that told the story I wanted to read, so I wrote it myself. CTS primarily exists so I could fix a lot of the parts of canon I had the greatest problems with. The fact that other people agree is amazing and I still get warm fuzzies from every review from someone sharing the same opinion, but that wasn't the point.

Starting out in small fandoms meant I had no expectations for reviews so I never felt the need to try and court them, and every piece of feedback was a pleasant surprise rather than a main motivation. It's also a lot easier and more enjoyable to write for yourself; my other fics are mostly small one-shots based on prompts from other people, and many of them were a real struggle to write.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I'd say it's pretty important. I try to answer every signed review where possible, and it's always surprised me when people tell me they weren't expecting it - it seems to be something most fic authors don't do. It never occurred to me not to at least thank someone for taking the time to leave a review, and for those who leave longer reviews with questions or observations or (constructive) criticism I like the chance to explain some of my reasons for a particular decision or to talk about something in the fic or the wider fandom or writing in general.

That said, I don't have much contact with readers outside review responses and FFN messages. I don't really use social media (hence the format of this interview). Nothing against it, but introversion and a lack of much free time (and, it must be said, a little laziness) mean it's not for me at this point in time. I do have a blog but it's not very active.

What would you most like your readers to take away with them when they've finished your stories?

Honestly? I'm happy if someone finishes and thinks 'that was a good read, I enjoyed it'. Anything else is icing on the cake. Sometimes I get lovely messages from people who've been going through rough times and they tell me something in my stories resonated with them and helped them feel a bit better, and that's an incredible feeling. Others tell me they've been inspired to work on their own writing or to read more about a subject I mentioned. Some just want to let me know they've checked out a song or book I referenced or quoted and they liked it. All those are great, but as long as someone likes the story and enjoys reading it, that's enough.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

The most specifically useful was probably "when you're writing dialogue, read it out loud". Time after time I've done that and realised a piece of a conversation was very awkward and strange and been able to rewrite it. In a more general sense, the best thing I've seen was "don't force it". If you're not in the mood to write something, don't try to, because it'll be far lower quality than if you wait until you're excited to write it down.

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

That ties into the previous question. Usually, I leave that piece of writing alone and either work on something else or move away from writing entirely and give myself a break for a few days to clear my head. Sooner or later something will shake loose and I'll see my way past whatever the problem was. (This usually happens either in the shower or while driving, when I can't do anything about it, because the universe just hates people sometimes!)

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Oh, absolutely, though I can't give many specific examples. As I mentioned before, my experiences with bullying and depression definitely added an extra dimension to the way I write about those issues, but that's the only obvious thing. I haven't consciously included any specific incidents from my life anywhere in my writing, but I'm sure there are a lot of small things I haven't even noticed. And there are definitely some details that are me, such as certain characters' music tastes (or a preference for black forest gateau...)

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I get asked this one a lot! Yes, I do plan on at least two more long Potter fics, if possible. I'm fairly sure at least one of them is going to happen. I have some concrete writing and a lot of notes. But it's difficult to avoid treading ground I've already covered in existing fics, I don't want to produce anything that feels too similar. I also wrote both PTL and CTS while I was unemployed and living with my parents, and now I'm living on my own and working, so I have much much less free time. No teaser, I'm afraid :)

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

The only way to get better at writing is to write, so write. Don't worry about not being good. That can come later. You can always rewrite anything. My early fics under other names range from thoroughly amateur to absolute trash that I've disowned, and there's plenty of original writing that will never, ever see the light of day.

If you write something down and hate it, leave it for a while and then go back and look at it and figure out why you hate it. Try not to be afraid. It takes real courage to let other people see your writing for the first time, and nothing hurts like your first negative review, but the world won't end. Criticism comes in three forms - misunderstandings that you can address; genuine criticisms that you can learn from; and, very rarely, flames or trolling that you can ignore. Most people will have a valid point, and most of them will genuinely be trying to help you.

And READ. Read everything you can get your hands on. Fics, books, blog posts, newspaper articles. If you don't like something, try and work out why. If you do like something, try and work out why. Exercise your imagination and the rest will follow.

Thank you so much for spending some time with us Loten, it was a genuine pleasure getting to spend some time getting to know you better.

[snowbellewells]

“A Long Forgotten Song”

(A CS family fluff fic for @whimsicallyenchantedrose‘s belated birthday gift!)

by: @snowbellewells

This little fic was meant to be for Jennifer (@whimsicallyenchantedrose‘s) birthday, but that was more than a week ago now.  I’m hoping this bit of fluff and CS family feels will still be an enjoyable gift for her in appreciation for her friendship, writing encouragement, and just being a helpful, amazing, gifted and kind member of the fandom.  This isn’t necessarily divergent from canon, but it’s certainly future headcanon, in which Hope is five or six and I have imagined Killian and Emma might have adopted a child as well.  (That doesn’t really come into the fic, I just think they would adopt with their histories, and Killian is mentioned as being a father of three at one point. )  

Before it gets any more belated….

“A Long Forgotten Song”

It had been a rather long day at the station - somewhat tedious and dreary - and so Killian Jones had been more than happy to volunteer for picking up their daughter from her voice lessons at five-thirty and escaping the mundane parade of dwarves accusing one another of some brazen act of malfeasance, complaints about leaky cellars and roofs due to the recent spate of rainy days, and the pleas to go out on search patrol for missing house pets possibly lost in the downpour. Certainly he would take these common small town grievances over dangerous new villains swooping in and raining down chaos of which his Sheriff wife and fellow deputy father-in-law would heedlessly throw themselves in the way, regardless of the risk to their own lives and limbs. Still, one could only try to decipher Dopey’s flying hand gestures accusing Leroy of once again stealing the extra bacon slice Granny fondly slipped onto his breakfast plate at the diner so many times before having to get out of the office for a breather.

The sky was still a heavy grey full of low-hanging clouds that threatened even more rain as he parked the cruiser at the curb of the pretty blue house with a wide front porch, just down the street from the convent where the nuns - well, the fairies, technically - made their home in Storybrooke. He could already hear Hope’s high, chattering voice as soon as he opened the door, and he shook his head in amusement as her light words prattled along, hardly pausing for breath, added to only occasionally by a calmer, more sedate, adult chuckle at the proper moments in his little girl’s story.

Glancing up the walk, Killian could see his daughter and her music teacher both seated on the woman’s large, cushioned front porch swing, Hope’s tiny powder-keg of a form bouncing in excitement as she continued her narrative, and her ever-patient instructor nodding along with fittingly wide eyes as if she had never heard a more gripping tale in her life. Of course, once he had stepped out of the car, the sound of its door closing caused Hope’s head of riotously curling dark hair to whip around at the noise and a squeal to leave her upon catching sight of him.

“Papa!” she called, leaping to her feet and up from the swing as if she thought she could fly - startling both his and her teacher’s hearts into their throats until she landed safely on the porch floorboards. Running down the steps to grip him around the knees, Hope then took his hook in both of her little hands and tugged him back the way she had come, still exclaiming, “Wait until you hear what I learned today! It’s so pretty!!  And Ms. D. says a pirate lady might have sung it on her ship during watch late at night.”

Killian Jones couldn’t help the raised, curious eyebrow and smirk he shot toward the other adult on the porch at her proclamation, anymore than he could staunch the swell of emotion that nearly overcame him every single time his daughter grasped his metal appendage as easily and as simply as if it were a hand of flesh and bone, not troubled in the least by its presence, or the surge of pride he somehow felt - as retired as he might be - at Hope’s constant interest in pirates and the sea. To his chagrin, and Emma’s perpetual amusement, Hope was more than a bit piratical in her bearing and the mischief she could concoct as well, so the very suggestion that the song she had learned in her day’s lesson might have been sung at sea had surely made her a quite willing pupil. “Is that so, Love?” he asked mildly, holding back his mirth in the hope of avoiding the sort of stubborn temper one could flare in her if not careful.

“Sorry if I’m a bit late,” he added for her teacher’s benefit. Jennifer was her name, though Killian did not feel quite familiar enough to address her that informally, though he knew Emma often did. “I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”

He rarely used most of his former flirtatious feminine nicknames with women about town either, not once he and Emma had been married and since he had become a father of three. Not that he felt there had been anything wrong with such playful appellations, and he still pulled out the fanciful “Milady Snow” for Emma’s mother and occasionally flushed Granny’s cheeks with a pleased blush upon calling her “Lass” as if she were twenty years old once more.  But it had only taken catching the tense, worried look of fear on Emma’s face (which she tried to deny when he asked) one time to make plying his charms with anyone other than his wife lose all appeal. It had appeared as if she still thought someone could actually beguile him or lure him away from her, and he could only shake his head in stunned disbelief at the very idea. So when Aurora smiled at him thankfully as he caught her runaway second son at the T-ball diamond, or when Tink giggled merrily and laid her hand on his forearm while  he joked with her at the market, Killian was friendly and kind, but also quick to gently disentangle himself as clearly as possible without any of his old quips to play up the moment.

Jennifer smiled back at him, her expression open and genuine, with an indulgent sparkle in her eyes as they flicked back to Hope beside him. “Of course not. It just seemed like such a lovely evening. Hope and I thought we’d come outside to wait until you arrived.”

Killian figured that was quite probably mostly Hope’s idea. His little buccaneer would never willingly stay indoors if given the choice, and her teacher was plainly just one more friend and neighbor who could not withstand her natural charm.

“Papa, come on!” Hope urged impatiently, practically wriggling at his side. “Don’t you want to hear the song we learned? It’s a sea shanty.”

“Aye, little love, of course I do,” he nodded, ceasing his conversation and wandering thought and turning full attention back to her.

Nodding sagely, as if she would have expected nothing else from her doting papa, Hope’s tiny fingers, still wrapped around his shining metal appendage pulled him behind her as Ms. D. led them back into her foyer and through to the sunroom where she kept her piano. Hope proudly led him to the settee on one wall, under a large window, urging him to sit where he could enjoy her performance; her teacher all the while merely watching with a gentle smile on her face.  

When Jennifer saw that the Captain was settled and ready for them to begin, she seated herself at the piano, much as she had been during Hope’s vocal lesson earlier, and the child came to stand practically at her elbow, beaming and nodding that she was indeed ready when asked.  Her teacher held in a chuckle at her pupil’s enthusiasm, the Jones’ daughter puffing her little chest out with pride at having something new to show her father, and her bright green eyes sparkling with joy and excitement.  Turning to place her hands on the keys, she gave Hope a count to prepare her, and then launched into the first notes of the piece they had been practicing that afternoon.

As often happened, especially when she had a willing compatriot to get swept along with her, Jennifer lost herself in the words and the notes, letting the tune she had found for Hope’s newest song carry her along on its soothing melody. So carried away they both were in fact, that she didn’t really come back to herself until she played the last note, Hope stopped singing, and they both looked over to find their former pirate audience with misty eyes, shaking himself as if from a dream, before quickly straightening up and slapping his hand on his thigh in applauding approval.  “That was beautiful, ladies!  Truly quite magnificent!” Killian Jones praised sincerely.

She wasn’t going to call him on the fact that his voice sounded hoarse with some unspoken and hastily covered emotion. His daughter, however, showed no such restraint.  Rushing forward, Hope threw herself into his lap, her arms wrapping around her father’s neck and squeezing until he unwound them slightly to breathe properly again. “Oh no, Papa, what’s wrong?  Didn’t you like it?  Ms. D. looked up a special song just for me.  We thought it was really pretty.”

Killian Jones seemed to master himself, and whatever melancholy had gripped him momentarily was gone from his face as he shook his head, quickly moving to reassure his child. He also seemed to be shooting an apologetic look Jennifer’s way over Hope’s curls, though she was hardly offended (if admittedly a bit curious). “No, no, I liked it very much….it’s...nothing like that.”  His voice trailed off for a moment as he gathered Hope more securely on his knee.  “I just… that melody...I hadn’t heard it for many years. It seemed to be coming out of a dream when you started it.  My mother used to sing that to me…. A long time ago….”

Now, Jennifer knew enough of the reformed Captain Hook’s story to know just how long ago that truly might have been, but she wasn’t going to pry, and she wasn’t going to confuse a six-year-old if all of that realm-hopping, time-stands-still in Neverland confusion hadn’t been explained to Hope. She knew for herself the power of a song to take a person back to another place in time. While that power was a gift, it could bring bittersweet memories as well as purely happy ones.

Gentleman to the core though, Killian Jones seemed determined to see that they both knew he found their performance lovely.  “Thank you, both of you.  I would not have thought to ever hear that chorus again.  It was captivating.”

Jennifer merely nodded, letting him know he was more than welcome.  Hope, looking relieved, merely hugged her papa tightly, then slid down to the floor, her fleeting attention no longer content to be still.  “Yes, thank you Ms. D! See you next week!” And then she was skipping back out of the room to the door.

Captain Jones remained just a moment longer, his voice quiet, still a bit awesd and touched as he added, “Thank you, Milady...truly. It was wonderful to hear my mother’s lullaby again.”  With a little bow to her, he followed his daughter down the porch steps and back to the car, leaving Jennifer infinitely glad she she had picked that particular song of the many that she had uncovered in her research.  She would have never expected Hope’s father to listen to it as if they had been giving him the best treasure ever unearthed in his long and storied career.

~ Notes: I was going to include lyrics to a sea shanty (I looked up several) for Hope to be singing, but I decided to leave that open to interpretation. The one I was leaning toward, with lyrics like: “Yo! Ho, how we go!

Oh how the winds blow!

White Wings, they never grow weary

Night comes I long for my dearie

I’ll spread out my white wings

And sail home to thee…” ended up being too fast paced to sound like a lullaby once I looked up a recording of it.  I considered some others, “Endearing Young Charms”, “Cliffs of Doneen”, and others (Including “She Moved Through the Fair”), but in the end I liked them all and couldn’t really settle on one for sure.  If you know of an Irish sea shanty you particularly like, just pretend it’s that one Hope’s singing! :)