#but i think if i’m willing to explain the poor method of punishment sin mal went through

[crowties]

oh sorry i wasnt trying to strawman, i just literally only know sin from Azure Waters, and i personally hated her actions. genuinely can i hear your thoughts

sure! let’s address the asks you’ve sent me so far:

and this was the one you sent me after i answered your other ask:

we’ll start chronologically, from top to bottom.

sin mal getting mind crushed for physical + sexual assault is a reason for her punishment, not a justification. i’m not saying that she doesn’t deserve punishment, i’m saying that the degree and method of her punishment was both counterintuitive and unethical.

i want to first point out the fact that sin mal was bronya and seele’s age when she did those things (twelve and thirteen), and before you mention anything about how children can be held accountable for their actions, i brought up this specific point because children (and adults as well) learn best through rehabilitation and positive reinforcement.

actually take a second and think about how you might punish a kid for physical and sexual assault. mental toture and the potential death you celebrated in the first ask you sent me are definitely not the appropriate methods. wouldn’t it be better to actually tend to the people affected, and to rehabilitate the kid, so that they can choose to do good on their own volition? approaching the situation with an eye-for-an-eye philosophy doesn’t do anything to improve bronya or seele’s well-being, nor does it do anything to help sin become a better person in the future. everything about it was harmful, and nobody got anything out of it. revenge doesn’t count as a plus, by the way.

and again. sin mal breaking bronya’s legs, sexually assaulting seele and generally being kind of a dickhead in the orphanage is something i’ve never—and will continue to not—deny. and i agree she deserved a punishment, only that it should’ve been ethical and productive. the retributive reasoning you sent me is the reason why people can’t progress… as people. two wrongs literally don’t make a right. i can’t stress that enough.

and just to answer your other ask about her current status in the hi3 storyline: she’s been entrusted to the orphanage, meaning she’s grown enough as a character to have herself be placed in a position of responsibility over children. it’s also important to mention that sin mal originally comes from ggz, where she’s a deep and nuanced character. she was vilified in hi3, however, to give the azure waters manga an antagonist, and to give the main storyline a scapegoat. which clearly worked, unfortunately. i’m not asking you to like her (i don’t really love her either), i just want to give you a better idea of her actual character and what she deserves.

i hope that answers all your questions or at least gives you a way to look at sin mal in a new light. fiction is obviously designed to make us feel certain ways about certain characters, but it’s important to step back and evaluate just why we might feel that way, and if it’s within reason. i’d suggest that you should do at least some research on a topic before you try to form such an opinion, even if you don’t really like it, because if it’s something outrageous like “this child deserves to be dead or mentally tortured if they were to physically and sexually assault another person,” you’ll need more than manga evidence to back it up. try to keep an idea of ethics in mind, or humanity at least.

[darsacarrington]

A Woman Scorned

((Long story, sorry not sorry!))

I’m a light sleeper I’ve been a light sleeper since I was jumped too many times on the street as a teen to sleep easily. The touch is light and I’m ripped from whatever fleeting dream I was having. As my eyes blink away the gaze of fog I see her. Valentine, Colton’s formerly right hand woman and the one I’ve seen have a heart. The questions is, how fucked am I in trying to bring her to my side?

“Thanks the Light,” I said thought my mouth was feeling dry. Sitting up I pulled the glass of water that was near me and take a drink and winced as my mouth suddenly learns how to move again. “Val, Shit, I.. I can’t believe you saw the letter.”

It had been an off chance idea, but she was here. Valentine looked tired, like all her inner demons were putting her to task. From under her hood I could see small tears slide down her childlike face. Her voice broke, giving away a bit of the distress she was feeling. “Bravo… I’m sorry. I was going to leave. Colton told me to leave. I… Your message though.”

She fell into the seat next to me and I drew my own seat closer to hers. I do feel for her. I’m the bastard who has destroyed her world. It was me who killed her brother. I’m the one who lead the team to kill Colton.

“I’m sorry too.” That was true, there was a lot I have to feel guilt over. “Why did Colton let you go? Crawford didn’t take anymore pot shots at you did he?”

Those bastards, both of them. Colton was willing to murder innocent people just to keep a hold of his strength. Crawford was too dumb and violent, he had back handed Valentine once in front of me. I don’t do well when people hurt innocent women. It was the moment I had tipped my hand to the older worgen.

"No. After I got back, I was only able to stop Colton from pulling Cody from the Void. Then they locked themselves away. When I finally got to talk to Colton, he..."

Val shuddered, like she was trying to cry. There is a point in sorrow where you don’t have more tears to shed but you need to cry. I’ve been there, and it sucks being on both ends.

"Colton told me he was going to die. Both him and Crawford. He told me to take some things and to leave. He told me to cease to exist. But...your letter stopped me. I am failing him by being here. I should go...but...I couldn't leave you without knowing what happened."

Colton did know he was going to die then… That fucking- okay, he was a barstard, but he can’t come back from the dead. Alice made sure his body and soul will never be reunited again. But Val has just done something that gives me hope. She’s not utterly blind in following Colton. She has some of her own mind.

I do feel like a fucking monster. She has complete trust in Bravo, and I feel wrong in what I have to do. After talking to others I knew I needed to do a face to face confession. That yes, I’m taking a risk at being exposed, I’m risking she might void out on me and suddenly I’m facing a pissed off void user. But I need to make this right. And there’s only one way to do this.

“You’re safe… No one is going to hurt you.” I won’t hurt her, not until she tries to hurt me. It’s just my rule and I’m sticking to it. I cast my eyes around the room and I know I need to tell her this somewhere quiet. “We should go somewhere quiet. You look tired and I want to fill you in on what I’ve been up to.”

I offer her and hug and she quickly clings to me. Valentine is an impossibly small woman, smaller than Mal, smaller than Kat. She curls in and I hold her trying to give her the support I know she needs, even if I’m going to be the one to take it away.

Finally she agreed and I get us both up and make our way out of the room. I have a place in the Drwarven District. It was my personal hell years ago and I bought out the rental agreement as soon as I had steady cash. It’s not lavish or anything utterly fancy. In fact, it’s pretty bare minus some chairs, a bed and a small kitchen I kept stocked in case there’s an emergency.

Valentine has no idea what’s about to be sprung on her, and I feel like shit about it. But she made her way in, dropping her bag at the door. “I don’t know if I’ll stay.”

She walked over to a near by chair and sat heavily upon it. “I… I am hurting him. Even if he is dead, if he can see me, he knows I’m sealing his fate.” Her hands moved to take off her hood. In this light she looked so much like a child. I know she’s a full grown woman, but her voice and face make it complicated.”

I put a kettle on as she spoke, but before I sat down I asked if she wanted anything to eat. The poor woman was so nervous and anxious that she couldn’t keep anything down. She was taking this selfish act, a wish to meet a man she felt she was in love with. That she was suppose to only have a drink and talk then be on her way to do whatever Colton had bided of her. But she hasn’t done anything yet. She is on a place where her path could diverge and we can bring her back.

Sitting down across from her I reach out. I have done a lot of seeding into our old conversations. Her anger at nobles, is justified, most of them were right monsters to her. I have done my sin, I killed her brother in anger. Now I need to ask for forgiveness and make steps to be a better man.

"You remember what I said, about my head and how one day I was going to let you see it all?” I said keeping my voice quiet as I reach out to her. “I need you to do that. After, you can be angry with me, choose to walk out and... do whatever you want. But if you stay after, I'll do what I can to help. To make shit right. Okay?"

This was something she would have been greedy for. Or she would have been when she was less tired. Still I noticed the moment she understood my tone and nodded. Energy was filling her from the prospect of being closer to me. I am so sorry Val, this is not going to go the way you think.

Her hand takes mind and this time she is gentle with the touch of our minds. I can sense it and start to make a tunnel for her to go through. She’s learned since the last time she read my mind. Her want to poke and press and rip were gone as she let me lead her.

I had to start at the beginning. Everything I am starts with my Ma. She did what she could and I gave demonstrations of my past. The shit I went through that made me hate nobles. I wanted her to know I was just like her.

It worked at first. Her mind opened and I was able to see horrible moments from her childhood. Being whipped and the nobles they served asked for harsher punishments for the children. Their mother was taken advantage of when her husband died by the Lord. This is the shit I hate and is the stuff I want to fight. Val and I are on the same team, we just have different methods about doing this.

Once sympathy was there I had to explain, I had to bring up Loch. She was another corner stone of who I am now. It hurt to show her in my mind. Knowing that the pure moments I had with her were gone. But I had to bring them up, to give the juxtaposition of what Val went through and what was possible.

But I couldn’t pause. I knew if I didn’t explain who I was now, after showing her I’m not like the others who hurt her, I would get cold feet and she would figure it out on her own.

“The woman who left me at the monastery.” I said adding images as I could, memories that were dear to my heart to add to the depth of what I feel. “Her name was Lady Trea Stone. She pointed to who my Da was, and, I took his name. My Last name was Noman. But the monks named me Darsa. I took my Da’s name cause I wouldn’t allow my Ma’s family to have another note in the history book after their treatment of my Ma.”

The confession… It came to her in waves. First she wasn’t able to follow what I was trying to mention. Then mentioning Ma she started to get worried. It was when I said my real name that she broke out connection and fell out of her chair. I’ve never seen anyone look at me with so much horror. Normally people think of me as a second rate nobody. Doesn’t help the main connections I have are Teren and the Blood King.

Val was shaking with her head hung low. "No...." she whimpered. "No...you can't be him. You can't be....please, now."

He head snapped up to look at me with those bright frightened eyes. "This was a trap? You....but I thought....this just can't...."

I’m a monster. I really am. I sit down beside her, not enough to be in touching distance, but enough to put us on the same level. “I’m sorry Val. I am… I did my own fuck ups. I had a lot of anger and, I made a vow I wouldn’t hurt you unless you chose to hurt me.”

I tried to reach out to that place I felt was still there. There was a broken woman who needed someone who she could lean on. I needed to reach for her so she could come back from whatever mission Colton had her on. If I can save her, I can maybe forgive myself.

As I tried to alive her fear of me, I tried to tell her I wasn’t going to kill her. That I wanted to help her. Maybe mentioning how I would kill her former nobles was not the best play I could have made, and as soon as I had said it I saw her eyes flash. That place I knew was there, she suddenly sealed it up from my reach. The anger she had for the real me rushed forward as she picked herself up from the ground so she could stand taller than me.

“Seems to me Lord Carrington death is all you actually offer! You have left a trail of bodies in your wake and for what?! To make this world a better place? One shaped in the image of your sense of 'justice?! How the fuck! Does that make you and different than the other nobles? You sit in your broken castle in the north and protect those people who will bend a knee to you and meddle then in the affairs far out of your earldom? You find a project in a pathetic, selfish farm girl and hang on her every hick word? Then you destroy our one chance....ONE FUCKING CHANCE to reset the board."

She’s a small pillar of rage and turmoil. So much of what she said isn’t true. It’s shit Colton told her. He brainwashed people, made them utterly believe in what he said. "Is that your side? Or did I miss something?"

“Colton was going mad. My void priest listened and he could tell the entity was not going to give you what it promised. This is the guy who waltzed in and out of the void under fire. What Colton was doing wasn’t going to stop shit, it was going to get more people killed.” I said looking up at her.

Slowly I held my hands up so she knew I wasn’t attacking her, I just wanted to stand up. “There are three people I personally signed off on the kill orders for. There’s only one I regret. I have fucked up, I have hurt you, please, please let me show it to you?”

Never take for granted a woman scorned. That’s what this is. My words seem to have no effect on her anger as she just looked at me as if she was disgusted. She has every right to be. “Hurt me? You destroyed my world,” She whispered this, her anger the cold type that I know I should be afraid of. Her arms suddenly that serpent like void tendrils coming off of her as she continued. “You have taken everything from me. I am going to do the same to you.”

She’s watching my reaction though. I can see it with the flicking of her eyes. She wants me to attack, to make the first move. I’m not. On my person I have an anti magic smoke bomb and a dagger, but I’m not going for either of them right now. There is still one more weapon I have that I am a pretty good master at. My words.

“Val.” I say it firmly, not backing down from the void she was summoning. Once I saw Teren pulling a Sha out of his ass I lost all the fucks I have to give to people doing creepy shit. “Take a breath. Please. I want to help you. To give you a second chance if you will give me a second chance?”

That’s what I do, I give people second chances. It’s what I was given, and now I want to offer it to her.

She disappeared in a moment and I was about to go on the defensive when she appeared behind me beside her bag and the door. She wasn’t going to attack me, she didn’t actually want to kill me or she would have. She wanted a reason.

"Why? Why shouldn't I put an end to you here and now? Why shouldn't I avenge my brother? Or my mentor? Isn't that what you would do if someone killed one of your people? Wouldn't you kill the murderer?"

Wanting reason to stay her hand, that… is a good sign. Even with all her anger she doesn’t want to kill me. If she did, she would do so right now. I look defenseless. She has all her magic. She might not be able to touch my mind, but she can hurt me physically.

“I won’t apologize for Crawford or Colton.” I said fully turning to her. “They were dangerous and were playing with stuff they didn’t understand. My family, my dad’s side, we fight stuff like that by being part of it. It’s my job... but I wanted to keep you safe.”

If it’s the last thing I do I will regret this next part. “You can hate me about your brother’s fate... I, have bad rage issues and by the time my head was clear he was gone. We could have saved him, and that, that” I leaned into the word to drive the point home. “Is what I pray for forgiveness for. I made a call I shouldn’t have. And I am more than sure you will never forgive me for it. But that is why you should keep me alive. Let me prove myself, don’t do what I did. Don’t lash out in rage and anger. Make me prove I am a better man.”

She was picking her bad up, her anger still twitching on her face. “Fine, fine prove it. Prove to me, right now, you are a better man. Prove it and I won't leave. Fail, and I will give you until the end of the year to say goodbye to everyone you love. At least that way, I will always be better than you."

I can hear the kettle boiling over on the stove and I winced. “I was going to make you coffee because you’re tired… I care about people, I do. If you stay I’ll spend how ever long it needs to be to earn your respect. Only you can give me forgiveness.”

Here’s the thing. I am not a proud man. My ego has been destroyed over and over again in my life. When I feel like I have done something wrong, I own it. Like right now, I own hurting her. I won’t feel sorry about stopping the gang. But killing her brother, yes, I need to fight for forgiveness for that.

I carefully go to my knees and look up at her. “These are the steps I have taken for you. I am doing more outside of this but these are the steps I am taking to hopefully show I am trying.”

Something I say or did turns something in her mind. Her anger was brilliant until I had knelt down. I can’t read her expression, it was shock, but I’m not sure what kind. Did this actually work? Was she going to walk away from the path Colton put her on. Right now I am fighting for her soul. If I can get her to walk away form her old path, we can save her. She could become a functioning member of society. She deserves that, that and she deserves to never be looked down upon.

Her words are shaking as she says them. Was she scared of what I said and did? No one else has ever shown humility around her, I can attest for that. "I...don't know what you are..." She murmured. "I don't know why you are doing this. But...I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be listening to you. I ... can't forgive you. You....took everything. Make your peace, Darsa. Before the end of the year, I will be back."

I keep my word. I always do. Val was allowed to go, and I’ll be watching my back for a knife in the shadows. But… No, I saw something in her eyes. She had doubt, and doubt is a crack you can take a hammer to and crack open the brainwashing she had been under. I don’t stop her from going, but before she closes the door I spoke.

“If you can tolerate me, my door stays open. It will stay open for a long time!” I had to shout the last part, but I didn’t dare get up from my knees. I heard her rushed footsteps down the stairs and suddenly, I’m alone.

There were a million ways I thought this would go. But no matter what, tonight there is an angry woman who’s heart is one I broke.

((Mentions: @kat-lockhart ((For Valentine)), @teren-k (For being the man to break Darsa of ‘shit the void is weird’) ))