#but i still wouldnt mind showing off pages that Didnt Make The Cut

[sanchoyoscribbles]

I don't normally post full pages outside of the comic website (unless it's the chapter covers!) but I wanted to post both of the transformation pages from this chapter because I really like how they turned out TwT

maybe one of my fav things to draw, cannot WAIT to draw more of these in upcoming chapters!!

if you wanna read tokyo miracle, go here! :D (both of these are from chapter two, which is about halfway done rn and updates weekly! you can also follow @tokyomiracle for notifications about updates, news, and freebies like HQ downloads of the chapters as they finish ^_^)

[usedtobeyours]

try hard dick energy: a fairytale

try hard dick energy got his nickname after almost 3 months of me seeing him

he used to be soft dick energy first. 

we met through friends, as i usually like it to go. 

on a regular thursday, we started chatting and we kind of fit. his music seemed to be a perfect match to my favorites. i listened to his playlist that whole week. 

a week later we met at said friends’ home, on the day before a holiday. 

my first impression was meh. but than again, it had been over 5 months since i even kissed another guy. 

conversation went on, and my thinking was: wow, i can actually be friends with this dude

then we got drunk and he ended up waiting for when my friend went to the bathroom to kiss me. again, a meh kinda kiss. but again, 5 months. it still felt nice, butterflies and all. 

i was on my period, maybe day four of it. after my friend went to sleep, we started drunkenly making out and he tried taking my clothes off. i was like no, no way, i have my period. and he said he didn’t mind. i wasnt sure i did. 

then, a call that was just the best to get. friend #2 coming home from a date. we chatted on the dining room and i tried keeping her there for as long as i could before she started bobbing her head. to this day, he swears i was making faces at her for her to leave. that’s certainly not how i remember that. 

she went to bed, we made out for a while, i took my menstrual cup out and we fucked. and we slept just as we were. i don’t remember much, but i do remember him saying: “was it too fast?” and like a good girl, i said it didnt matter. that’s how he got his soft dick energy nickname as i retold that story on the day after.

oh, the day after. we slept at around 6, and he was out of the apartment as i was still sleeping. my friends and i wanted to go to the beach, but that part of the story doesn’t matter much for this tale. we talked. and talked.

on thursday, two days later, i was headed to my guy best friend’s house bringing my other best friend - #1 from the first story. he picked us up from her place - his place was closest to my guy best friends house, but he did it anyway. we sat, and we got high, and drunk. we made out whenever everybody wasn’t around. i had to teach him that people don’t smoke inside people’s homes without asking - and in the window. duh.  

he then left for a weekend away with his friends. it was the first time i missed him, and i spiraled into a weird depression mood from lack of attention. that’s how needy i was. am. 

from then on we didn’t see each other for two whole weeks. he traveled, then i traveled, and weekdays were never his thing. we still talked everyday, and kept up with each others lives. we shared stickers, and said we missed each other. just the weird 16 year-old romance i yearned for. 

we met again three weeks later. he really wanted to go to my girl best friend’s house, but she didn’t really want him there. we went for a beer on the beach - which turned into 6 really quick. by 10 pm, he forced his way into my girlfriends’ house, even though she didnt want him there. we made out a bit, and he left. i was so in love.

then the chat continued slower than before. carnaval went by, he didn’t want to join us for it. i moved, he didn’t want to come by. we seemed to chat, but it always revolved around him. he took up 3 weeks of my therapy sessions, but i kept chatting. it was good. it filled up my neediness - and my time. it was like a long distance relationship. weekends were lonely and kind of sad. my luck is that bracco was in rio, and i was getting to know noemi. they kept me busy. 

he moved into a new apartment. it was around his birthday. i think it 15 days that we didnt see each other, but it felt like a month. that day it was all SO clear to me. 

you invited me over to your place. i hadnt seen you in forever, but you said i shouldnt bring anything. i drank a beer on my way there, out of nervousness. i also brought you m&ms. your roommate was wearing a bra in the living room. she was nice, we drank beer, smoked, and chatted. it felt weird. and then, she came up with the whole depressed comment.

let me explain: we were talking about her sabbatical, she wanted to go away for a year once she was 27. i was sharing resources and a bit of my miami experience. she then said: “oh, miami. thats where you got depression”. as if depression was something you catch. as if i told her about it. as if you told her about it and she felt we had a relationship where she could just bring that up?! not sure. i was weirded out for the rest of the night. at some point, you brought me into your room and kissed me. i couldnt really get into it. you said: “we dont have to do anything”, but you kept kissing and groping me. it’s not like you backed off and said: “whats going on?”

so i caved, and we fucked. and it was mechanical. and short. and plain out boring. i left 20 minutes after, and you seemed to be happy i did. 

my brain was a mix of feelings. i was in love, but then everything about that night was so fucking weird. being with you felt weird. the next day, you were weird too... i tried calling, but you called me back right when it was bbb time. 

and i was talking to noemi in the balcony, and it was a whole thing about not being available for people who dont show themselves available. we didnt talk again until saturday, and i decided to cut you off for good. i unfollowed you on social, unfollowed myself from your page, deleted your number. it wasnt until wednesday that you realized and reached out. 

you were all: we havent talked to each other in a week, and im also to blame for that... and so i told you i was upset about more than one thing that happened on wednesday, you exposed me to your roommate and i felt invaded. so i decided to pull myself away from this relationship. you apologized, but took no responsability for the rest of non caring. and thats what i wanted. so i cut you off. 

it was two weeks, and two therapy sessions in which my therapist said i should have talked to you before cutting you off. and turning you off was good: i started focusing on shit that mattered to me. 

but then i rethought it all. and i said, maybe we should have a grown up conversation. so i followed you, and opened up the conversation again. you said you were happy - you never thought you’d hear from me again. 

but you did. and i told you i was open for talking, and for getting things back as they were. you said you were too, but then you disappeared for two other weeks. 

and i felt done. over it. truly with no intent to see it moving. conversation was off and on. until last week it took on again. and we chatted for two days before you suggested a visit to my place. i was okay with it, cause then again, quarantine neediness is always present. and - for the first time ever - you were here on friday. you brought wine and condensed milk.

we chatted for two hours and it was boring as fuck. i hoped my roomies would join us. they did. and so did our friends. we drank and smoked and talked until 2, once again. but you decided to stay over, they went home, and it was just the two of us. 

i wanted to sleep. everything felt so fucking awkward. i pretended to fall asleep while you cuddled me. so fucking odd. i just wanted to me alone and starfish my bed while hovering all my pillows. and then you noticed i wasn’t up for sex, or making out for that matter.

you asked: are you still upset over my roommate?

i said no. why would i be? we talked it over and it’s over. do you want to talk about this still?

you said no. but you still felt something wrong.

and i said, yes. something is wrong. sex has never been good with you. i need you to have something we call pegada.

and you made an excuse once or twice. but somehow we hooked up again and you had pegada.

we fucked, and it was good, for once. better than “huh, i guess i had sex”

i fell asleep, feeling it was so weird to have you here.

i woke up to my alarm, got ready, and you wouldnt budge. i said i had to go, and you said you wanted to sleep in. i said i would be back in an hour, and i went to work.

you texted at work. you used my computer and god knows what you digged up off it. 

and then i came back, we had breakfast, and you didnt want to leave. we cuddled and watched a show. you tried kissing me but position was all weird. yet, it was good having you around.

you had a whole 2 hour meeting in my bedroom, in my computer. shivers. the whole time i was telling my roommate: the affection is nice, but oh no, im done.

and after your meeting we fucked gooood good. you got a promotion on your soft dick title. and fuck, i fell into it as well.

you left right after, as if you knew you got me hooked again. and again, chatting daily, you dont feel there. but we made plans for saturday.

mafe, mafe. why again. this boy definetly doesnt want you the same way you want him. yet you;re still there, as available as ever... i thought writing this might give me clarity. nope. 

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

no, i didn’t request it but i do have a request, kinda angsty, don’t do it if you don’t want to, chris and reader dating and someone trying to break them up by making it look like he cheated but he of course wouldn’t and happy ending?💕

A/N- I hope this works! It is a quick one, but angsty imo. Also, beware of toxic “friends” 

These cant be real....

Your scrolling through a message of a close friend sent you. You trusted her, been friends with her for years, so why would she lie to you. Your heart raced, and head pounded as picture through picture just told a story of lies and deceit. Cheating.

He wouldnt, He loves me. He tells me everyday.

And yet... you dont even try to respond to your friend, you toss the phone down and turn away from the offending piece of technology. Tears that brimmed behind your eyes bursting forward in the pain and confusion.

He was to good to be true, you knew you didnt deserve to be happy. Not really.

You sunk onto the bed, your phone buzzing nearby with your friends ringtone, but you just couldnt. Couldnt bring yourself together to answer, instead you hid your face in the pillow and let yourself get lost in your misery, afterwards you would deal with this.

Chris returns home from a quick meeting with his agent, it was actually his time to be home from a break between projects, and he wasnt going to lie, it was needed. He missed you terribly, and you had arranged it to have a few weeks of vacation off with him. Opening the door, he called out “Y/N? baby Im back.” A frown crosses his face when he doesnt hear you respond. “Y/N?” Wandering into the kitchen, nope. Living room. Nope. He heads towards the staircase, when he hears you crying. Frowning, he took the stairs two at a time, and entered your bedroom, to find you curled up on the bed.

“Babygirl what is wrong?” Immediately he went to sit down next to you and you hurriedly wiped tears and sat up to go to a stand, pacing away from him. “Your back early...” You ignore his question, unsure of what to say You still dont want to believe it, it just hurts to much. But Chris isnt just going to let this go, he immediately follows you and takes a hold of your arm to stop you.

“Y/N, look at me” His voice is stern and commanding. You hesitate but pull towards him, looking down. His fingers go to your chin and lift them up to face him.

“I need you to tell me what is wrong.” his eyes searching your face for clues, its hard not to trust those blue eyes of his, they have captured you many times, and what if those were all lies so you didnt know? You mind raced at the different possibilities of how to answer, and he clears his throat to get you out of your head. “Please.”

Giving a shuddering breath out, you try to lower your gaze, but his fingers stay under your chin to keep you focusing on him, not breaking eye contact with you. “I- I got a message. From Steph. Some pictures... “ Your voice breaks a bit and you point to your phone, in which Chris looks at it and picks it up, holding it out to you.

“Do you want to show me what she sent, or do you want to tell me?” Inwards Chris is cussing out Steph, he never trusted the woman. She was always making off hand comments about you, in that ‘Oh im a friend and looking out for you’ way. It had been a fight between you two a few times when Chris brought it up, but you never saw it that way. “Chris, shes my friend, she wouldnt purposely be cruel like that.” Oh baby, you always see the best in people.

This would be it though, the final straw for Chris. If Steph was going to go this far to hurt you, he would do whatever he could to show you how toxic she was, how you didnt deserve this manipulation. You flick your phone to the messages, and turn it to show him. He dropped his gaze from your sorrowed face, and flicked through the pictures. Yes, it did look compromising, cause the bitch must have found them off a fan page. During the photo shoot, some bystanders snuck past security and watched for a few minutes till they were escorted from the premises with promises of being arrested if they returned.  “Son of a bitch... baby, this is from the photo shoot last week for Gucci Guilty.”

You rubbed at your eye a moment and he just as quickly pulled up some pictures from his email, and showed them to you. Sure enough these were clearer, showing his costar for the ad and him in the backseat of a car. It appeared they were in the middle of a lust filled moment. It all clicked and you covered your face as it burned red in your embarrassment.

“Oh god Chris, fuck Im so stupid, I cant believe... “ You droned on in your shame, and he wrapped his arms around you, drawing you in. Kissing your shoulder, he rocked you two lightly.

“Hey, hey its okay baby... we never talked about the photoshoot.” His hands were calming, and you were cussing yourself out for even letting yourself believe what Steph was saying. “I would never ever do something like that to you, I swear.” He tipped your face up to look at him, kissing your tears away slowly. “But we do need to really talk about Steph, this isnt the first time shes tried to mess up what we have, and Im not okay with that. With the way she treats you.”

“She misund-”

“No Y/N. I cant good conscience let you keep defending her.” He settled on the bed and drew you into his lap, still rubbing your back with one hand and along your arm with another. Your hands move to rest against his chest, giving a sigh.

“Chris shes my friend.”

“Yes, she is... and I wouldnt ever ask you to stop being friends with anyone, but this is far more then how I feel about her. Babygirl, Ive seen people do this before. She twists things around, makes it seem like shes a victim all the time so you feel sorry for her. Tells you things for self improvement, that are just not even close to the fucken truth.”

You remain silent, he wasnt wrong, she was always over stepping you whenever you needed a listening voice. Unless of course you and Chris were having troubles of some kind. She loved to listen then. His hand traced your face lightly and you lifted your gaze to him. “You really wish I would end it.”

Chris gave a nod. “I do, but it has to be because you want to remove the negativity baby, not because I want you to. I just dont want to see you hurting like this again, especially since it wasnt even anything. I would NEVER ever hurt you, I love you to much and it kills me to think that it scared you that much.”

“I shouldnt have thought that...” Shamed you look away, and he pulled you in close, kissing your temple.

“Stop babygirl, I dont blame you for it. I know this kind of thing happened to you before, and its not always easy to forget the past. I know we will get past this, and next time we will talk about it like we are now.”

You smile and lean up, cupping his face in your hands, and kissing him deeply, whispering after the kiss. “Thank you Chris... and your right. Its time to let go of the past, nothing but good things for us Handsome.”

You end up cutting ties with Steph, after giving it further thought. She really was a toxic friend, and you are worth more then that which Chris is starting to show you.

[golden-van-fleet]

Your Song

Summary: Gwilym has loved you for a long time and will continue to.

Word Count: ~2.2k

A/N: Hi! I needed to write about Gwilym. I’m not sure about the format? Also on mobile for this one. Enjoy!

It’s a little bit funny, this feeling inside

I’m not one of those who can easily hide

Despite Gwilym being an actor, his fatal flaw was his inability to hide what was on his mind. The entire world knew how he felt about you, except for, well, you. It made his stomach turn, to see you with a man that wasn’t him, holding his hand, kissing his cheek, calling him “babe”. He hoped, wished, and prayed desperately to be that man.

I don’t have much money, but boy if I did

I’d buy a big house where we both could live

He knew you wanted a big house in the countryside. It’d been your dream for as long as either of you could remember. In fact, it was the first thing he bought with his paycheck from Bohemian Rhapsody. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t dream of the two of you living there like Allie and Noah in The Notebook. He didn’t want to buy your love, per se, but if he could afford what you wanted, he wanted to be able to spoil you. For only being your best friend, he treated you a hell of a lot better than that boyfriend of yours ever could. Any of them, really.

And it wasn’t lost on you. You’d lost a couple boyfriends because they felt they couldn’t compete with Gwilym, and they couldn’t. Gwilym was over the top for you and only for you. When he bought the house, you were stunned. He constantly had you over, one of the guest rooms unofficially becoming your room. You’d been by his side before the fame and the fortune, it was only fair in his eyes that you were still there after it.

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no

Or a man who makes potions in a traveling show

I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do

My gift is my song and this one’s for you

Every performance he did as Brian May was with you in mind. Gwilym was willing to go to the ends of the earth to prove that he was worthy of your love, to prove to you that he was the one you needed. He knew, rationally, you never needed a man to be happy or to succeed. He also knew, selfishly, that he was the one for you. This was a man willing to bend over backwards for you at any given moment, knowing you would do the same.

And you can tell everybody that this is your song

It may be quite simple but now that it’s done

I hope you don’t mind,

I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is, now you’re in the world

The day you met was a day he’d never forget. Your eyes piercing back into his own, a stare that sent a delicious shiver down his spine. It wasn’t a malicious stare, it was one of amusement. You were working at a local coffee shop while finishing your bachelor’s degree around the same time Gwilym began filming one of many up and coming projects. He’d come in with an agenda, a man on a mission, but when his eyes met yours, he babbled like an infant. You were so kind, you didn’t make fun of him, you smiled a little and let him compose himself.

Ever since that day, he made a point to visit you at work, seated at one of the tables in the corner as long as he could be without disturbing you, your coworkers, or the other patrons. You found it sweet, and your heart ached to get to know him.

So you did. He’d been to your apartment more times than the members of your family had over the course of the next year. It was around that year mark Gwilym realized he couldn’t live without you. It was also around the time you’d started your string of terrible boyfriends.

Gwilym couldn’t thank you enough for changing his quality of life. You breathed a life into everything that he’d never been able to find. Life by your side was beautiful. You never let him dwell on the bad, and as hard as it could be to find the good sometimes, he always tried. If not for his sake, then for yours.

I sat on the roof, and kicked off the moss

Well, a few of the verses, well they’ve got me quite cross

He had to tell you. He couldn’t say it to your face, but he couldn’t not say it to your face. He wrote letter after letter, page after page, hoping that something, anything would encapsulate his feelings about you. Late night after late night, he failed to document exactly what he wanted to say. He didn’t want to plan out what he wanted to say, but he needed it to be everything he’d had on his mind for years.

When you showed up at his door during one of those late nights, he told himself as soon as he opened the door he’d tell you. What he didn’t expect was to see you sobbing, throwing yourself at him. He caught you before you could hit the floor, catching a glimpse of you before you buried your face into his shoulder. Your eyes were puffy and swollen with tears, your face red and stained with tear tracks. It absolutely broke his heart.

“He broke up with me,” you whimpered. “Almost two years, I thought I was going to marry this man, and then suddenly I’m not good enough?”

But if only you knew how good enough you were. Gwilym saw the sun rise and set within you. You were the very center of his universe. He couldn’t tell you now, you’d just had your heart broken. He could try, in vain, to tell you how wonderful he found you and about the total joy you brought to his life, but his dark secret would have to wait a little longer.

You climbed out onto the roof outside the guest room window, the full moon hanging bright above your head. There was a gentle, almost imperceptible breeze floating through the summer night. This was your favorite part of the house. It was your hideaway, wrapped around the back of the house with a full view of the river in the background. It felt as though time stood still when you were there. You found yourself lost in the peacefulness of it all until Gwilym squeezed himself through the window frame to sit with you.

“He thought you and I had something going on on the side. I told him that you were my best friend, that you always would be, that without you there is no me. And he was jealous.” You sniffled, the tears of sadness now transformed to tears of resentment. “But maybe he had a reason to be jealous. You’re all I need in my life.”

Gwilym was nothing short of stunned. That was the first time in his life that he was utterly lost for words.

“I- I can’t be your rebound, Y/N. I’ve loved you for far too long to let myself be who builds you up for someone else to tear back down. You mean too much to me for that.” He felt a tear slip down his cheek. His heart was on the line. As much as he wanted to be with you immediately, to hold you in his arms and never let go, he couldn’t. Not right now.

“I’m not saying I want to jump from him to you. But I did a lot of thinking on the drive over here. You’ve always been there for me. You’ve been this support, this rock, and I can’t help but feel I’ve taken it for granted. And for that, I’m so sorry. I know the way you look at me when I’m not looking because I look at you the same way. I always have. And maybe I was too afraid of ruining what we had built up so beautifully. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour, and that’s what we did. We’re still doing it. So if you’ll let me, I’d like to keep building it, I want to know that it’s not going to go away after tonight.”

He forced himself to look at you, your eyes burning with unshed tears. It would never go away. It couldn’t.

But the sun’s been quite kind while I wrote this song

It’s for people like you that keep it turned on

Over the course of the following months, your relationship bloomed into the blossom it was destined to be. The dark cloud that hung over Gwilym’s head had finally given way to the warm rays of the sun, and he embraced them fully. Loving you was diving head first into a pool that had no bottom. There was always a new depth to be reached, and when he thought he’d reached his capacity, there was always more.

You noticed the change, welcomed it, and encouraged it. Gwilym was finally back to the man he was when you first met. The man that you thought you were going to fall in love with. However, you’d hung that up when he brought over one of his girlfriends, unannounced, to your flat the night you were going to tell him how you felt. It crushed you, but you couldn’t tell him that. To know that now, it wouldn’t happen again, he was yours? It was heaven in and of itself.

So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do

You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue

Anyway the thing is what I really mean

Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen

He had to ask you to marry him. He made up his mind before the two of you had even been together six months. It took half a lifetime, or so he thought, to get with you in the first place. Hell, you’d moved in together after two months together, what difference would it make?

He found himself in the same position he was years and years prior, back in that tiny coffee shop. Your eyes were focused intently on his, your smile kind and your hand relaxed in his. Gwilym was in his element, at home, alone, with you. And there, in the comfort of your shared bed, he was going to ask you to be his wife, and he couldn’t choke the words out. All he could do was present you with the ring first.

“Marry me. Please,” he added, softening what sounded like a demand.

“Easily,” you smiled, pulling his face towards yours and locking your lips into a breathless kiss. “I would marry you a million times over.”

He found himself in the same predicament when it came to your vows.

“I’m not usually one to forget what I’m saying before I say it, but you look so beautiful I can’t help myself,” he began, chuckling as he bashfully wiped away a tear. “I had this whole thing planned about how you were the one for me and I knew from the moment I met you, but even to this day you render me speechless. So forgive me if I cut this a bit short, but I’d really love to call you my wife sooner rather than later.”

And you can tell everybody this is your song

It may be quite simple, but now that it's done

I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

When your daughter was born with your bright, beautiful eyes, Gwilym cried more than he ever thought he would. He was so gentle with her, so gentle with you… You couldn’t love him more if you tried.

Despite having your eyes, your daughter was Gwilym’s clone. She had her father wrapped around her tiny little finger from the first cry she let out the day she was born. Gwilym immediately switched into protective dad mode, refusing to let her go without a fight. Unless she was going to you, of course. But even that took a little convincing.

One night, about three weeks after she was born, Gwilym got up in the middle of the night to tend to her. He took the wailing newborn out of her bassinet in your bedroom to the rocking chair in what would be her nursery.

“Alright, love, it’s okay.” He’d done everything he could think of to soothe her and nothing was working, and the last thing he wanted to do was wake you. He unbuttoned the front of her onesie, placing the newborn over his heart. He’d been told to try skin to skin bonding whenever he could, and by some miracle, it calmed her down.

Gwilym didn’t realize he was humming until he started to sing lyrics to a song he didn’t realize he knew.

I hope you don't mind,

I hope you don't mind that I put down in words

How wonderful life is while you're in the world

Your song had had its share of wrong notes and tweaked lyrics. It conveyed a full spectrum of emotions, highlighting the ups and the downs that came with life and love. Your song was unique, and Gwilym was blessed to share it with you.

[loki-fanfic-whore]

Inhuman ch.10

Warnings- death, sadness, despair, twists, bad grammar

@drakesfiance @lokis-lady-death

Chapter 10 Inhuman

As you stab the vial of glowing blue liquid into your thigh and push down on the plunger injecting the entire vial into your body. The display hit 00:00 blowing you against the opposite wall. You began coughing at the impact until you realize the needle still stuck out of your leg. You ripped it out and groaned looking to Tom. He had been thrown about within his cage; destroying part of his shackles, and the blast also damaging the bars around him. The room you two were in was now reduced to piles of rubble and darkness. It looked almost as if you were in a cave system now. Thankfully no Hydra stayed behind to watch their failure.

Trying to stand to get to Tom you immediately feel a fiery rush through your veins from the injection. It scared you how quickly it was destroying you. You collapsed against the wall sinking down. Roaring in frustration tom rips the damaged bars apart it was all that separated you from him. His scream echoed through the emptiness. A shout returning back from Thor. They were on their way to you, and part of the crater had imploded due to the blast. Tom wasnt listening though, he had one thing on his mind and that was you. He rushed to you and grabbed your body pressing it to him; tears dripping down his cheeks.

"N-no please." He croaked out breathlessly. You smiled and shushed him.

"Shhh my love. It doesn't hurt. I'm in no pain." You lied softly as blood gurgles out of your mouth gently running down your chin. The impact of being blasted across the room must have punctured a lung. You know you will combust any second as the heat reaches your heart. You both could hear screaming and the sounds of rushing steps in the far distance. They were almost there.

He grabbed you by the back of your head and your lower back; screaming out in anger, frustration and anguish. After his screams died down there was a brief silence where you could feel his body trembling and hear his ragged breathing. It was almost soothing to you. You had grown accustom to being close to him after his fights; Of being what calmed him down.

"No! No I can't lose you! You're inhuman!" He screamed out as the shouts in the distance came closer.

"No my love. I'm very much a human. What is one life versus millions? " you sputter out; your body getting hotter by the second.

"Brother Tomas! Avengers! I found them! Quickly!" Thor shouted. Tom was sobbing into the crook of your neck as you shushed him. Wincing, you were glad he couldn't see your face, it would give away the amount of pain you were actually in.

"Tomas? I want you to know that I lo-love y-" your words cut off as a guttural scream emitted from your throat, blood splattering your face from the force. Tomas screamed along with you as you erupted in his arms. Your scream silencing as he held your ashen corpse. It was still a perfect replica of you. Thor, Natasha, and Tony ran over only to watch Tom stare down at you horrified. The wind picked up and slowly your body crumbled to a pile of ash upon his hands and lap. He stared up at them with a face covered in ash and tears. His nose and eyes raw.

"It was strapped to a bomb...in liquid form....She- she injected herself with the it...she said it was the only way..." he managed to choke out still staring down, at what was left of you, in shock.

"She truly was an asset to our race. My apologies brother Tomas." Thor spoke first then bowed onto one knee. He held his fist to his shoulder in a sign of respect. Natasha took a step forward and then bowed on one knee mimicking Thor.

"She saved us all Tom. She was the epitome of a martyr. Let us celebrate what she accomplished today." She spoke softly.

Clint and Steven both bowed on one knee also crossing their hearts in respect.

"She will always be a hero Tom." Steven spoke first before offering his condolences.

Tony was the only one still standing.

"I uh.. I wanted to say that I'm sorry Tomas. I know how much she lit up your world. And I know how she had all of the right answers to everything...and that that is why she is gone and you are still here, but most of all I want you to know that this isn't your fault and that she did what she had to. She is a hero." Tears pricked Tony's eyes as he too bent and bowed onto one knee. Tom stared at all of them his face showing anguish and anger.

"She was supposed to be the survivor! I was supposed to die! I was supposed to have been the one free of emotions and pain! " he screamed out angrily as his heart broke. He looked like a child mid temper tantrum, but rightly so.

"She was supposed to live on and be happy again.." he whimpered out as he stared down at his ash covered hands.

"Her downfall was she was too human to be inhuman." Bruce spoke as he walked across the rubble towards them. The avengers stayed on bent knee.

"Tomas she took on such a lethal dose that it wouldnt have mattered who took it. They would have died. She just knew what had to be done. No one is to blame. She loved you dearly and I am sure she wouldn't want you sobbing over her. She would want you to smile and laugh and have a good life. Live on through her Tomas. She would expect that." Bruce joined the others on a bowed knee as Thor began to recite a Norse prayer to allow you a safe journey to your destination.

Tomas stood up and wiped his face. He felt utterly hollow. He was loaded onto the quinjet and brought back to the tower. Your ashes swirling through the air in the crater. You didnt deserve to be buried there, but there was no way to contain you and bring you home. This too hurt Tom as he realized your gravesite. Upon the quinjet docking; He went straight to your room and threw himself into your sheets smelling your still. Fresh tears streaked your pillow cases. Reaching under your pillow he found a small journal with a blue bound case. Opening it he felt his breath hitch. Inside were mementos of every date and every event he ever took you to. From pressed flowers to movie stubs. He flipped through chuckling at how you collected everything. You must have begged Coulson to get your journal back. He flipped through until his hands froze. The last page used towards the back was a white flower pressed from your wedding night. And the quote "I always have and always will. I do." The book was blank after. He quickly flipped through quickly to make sure he got it all and a small envelope fell out of the back onto the floor. He reached down and picked it up to see your handwriting scribbled 'Tomas' across the front. He took a shaky breath and opened the envelope to see you had written him a goodbye note.

"Tomas, please don't cry for me

I know you never meant for this

I love you completely, just remember that

If I should leave you now

Then in my final hour

I pray this letter finds you well

Before it all goes to hell

They could never cage the world

It's too big for anyone, and soon the dark will pass

I want so much to be with you

But in my heart I know, Tom,

The world needs you now.

It is time for a revolution,

take them all on and win.

Remember my love,

we are all a little inhuman."

Tom half crushed the note against his mouth sobbing. After a moment his eyes snapped open and he gently placed the letter back in the envelope and ran to Banner's lab. He began using Jarvis and working on the coding with mutations of the cells. You didnt have any mutations, that's why you weren't affected. You hadn't become inhuman. You Were Immune to the terrigen. He clicked away on the computer until a hand, one he did not feel, gently rested on his shoulder.

'Tomas?' A computer generated copy of your voice spoke gently. Tom jumped up spinning to see a holographic version of you. You were wearing a simple black dress and your hair was messy but down around your face.

'Tomas, Jarvis was nice enough to record me in the chance- well I'm hoping you found the letter first. I wanted you to know that I love you so much. I have always loved you. I will always love you. Please, try not to blame yourself for any of this mess...I don't blame you. By now you have realized I carry the antigen for the terrigen. Use what's left of my blood and isolate a vaccination. You are so smart, I know you can save everyone. And Tomas...' You stepped towards him and the hologram tried to cup his cheek and lean in for a kiss. Tom closed his eyes and sank to his knees sobbing. 'Remember I love you. ' the perfect image of you faded and the lab became dark again. Tom sat there on the floor sobbing until banner helped get him back to his room. Bruce handed him two yellow pills and sighed.

"Sleep Tom... we can work on it tomorrow..." Tom looked down at the obvious sleeping pills before throwing them into his mouth and dry swallowing them. Dreamless sleep is what he needed. As he laid in bed waiting for sleep to claim him he thought of how he was dragged away from your sleeping form. How he never truly got to say goodbye to you...how you had made love for the first and last time the night you died. He found his mind wandering to the what ifs. What if you had lived and he had died? What if you had become pregnant? What if you didnt have to die? He cried silently until finally a harsh and unforgiving sleep took him.

[casper-has-a-cat]

irl sick story below the cut, see tags for content warnigns

i freaking passed out during class today

i know i shouldnt have gone in the first place, but since its an intersession class (a 2 week class) id get expelled if i missed a day. the prof is already being kind to let me miss half of 2 days bc my job requires it but theres only so much he could do

so after i emptied my stomach last night i just didnt eat anything. i drank water even tho it kept coming back up right up until i fell asleep. then i woke up and puked that up. and then i was stupid (i blame the fever) and decided i wouldnt drink anything.

i felt lightheaded and sick af on the way to class but figured if i could jsut make it there id be able to sit and itd be fine. it kinda was. but then we had to walk around campus for an experiment. i had to go to the bathroom once to dry heave and this one guy asked me if i was ok after i came back to the group but i said yes and that was pretty much all. somehow i made it back to the classroom and plopped in the closest desk. i was just gonna rest and then go to my desk but when i tried to stand i felt really sick and so i plopped down again and then i ended up dry heaving rly loudly (ugh just thinkidng about it makes me wanna die). and then i guess i passed out. i guess the guy from before caught me by the shoulders so i didnt fall out of the chair. 

i wasnt out for long cause they were still on the line with the hospital when i came to. i woke up dry heaving but managed ot convince them i was dehydrated. this girl gave me her water and i managed to keep some of it down. the campus medical center is close to my dorm so i told them id go if i needed to later but i just needed water and rest. the one guy walked me home and where i conked out, woke up to puke, conked out again, and now here i am, still nauseous af.

the whole thing is super awk cause idk anyone in the class and now im freaking out bc my head is killing me and i still feel sick and if i dont feel better by 10 am tomorrw ill have to drop the class and even if i do feel better im so scared to go back after what happend,

and gosh i still have to read 70 pages for tomorow frick.

anyway, feel free to send me questions abotu anyting - charas, shows, myself, whatever. no pressure of course but rly anything to get my mind off my stomach and anxiety would be super

[kokeggy]

my brain is filled with ouma and i cant stop it

i totally forgot the time man, its almost been 2 months since i played the game and it totally didnt feel like that at all

i still can recall a ton of things fluidly and as for now i dont see a particular reason to replay the game (other than wanting to get to know ouma better) 

but oumas character is just.. so tragic. i cant even begin to explain the depth of his character, it would be pages long and im way too lazy for that. ill always just write mental drafts and let myself feel when it comes to ouma

ill a cut here since its already a bit long rn lmao

and i think ouma is a character who is deeply troubled by his insecurities/possible mental illnesses (such as bpd or servere depression) in a way that these insecurities are his most memorable characteristics. that is absolutely sad and tragic

furthermore since the moment i started to play this game i always thought it was suspicious that ouma claimed he hated liars even tho he was one himself. sure that couldve been one of his lies, but my intention rlly didnt like this idea so i thought he was actually speaking the truth. i realized today that ouma was hinting at shuichi that he hated this persona that he had to create for the sake of this game

but i do agree that i sometimes tend to overthink ouma lmao while is incredibly intelligent, he couldnt have figured everything out, plus his trust issues and paranoia were in the way of looking into every possible situation. yet i somehow believed that he did a lot of stuff while being completely aware of their consequences - but thats not possible. ouma is not a superhuman who can figure out what happens to the world in [insert year]. hes a character with deep flaws which balances his cunning behavior 

to his actual personality, i might seem like the most biased person in the world but i truly believe that ouma didnt want to harm anyone. its just that the killing game... happened lol

as far as i can self-insert, i do believe if i happen to be in a killing game i would be quite similar about it. minus the creating a fake persona thing for me its absolutely impossible to trust 15 people whom i just met that they wouldnt kill me under stress. you know, if you activate the right buttons on someone, they can work how you want them to. and this is what feared ouma (rightly so)

anyways i take the anthologies as canon material since theyre approved and licensed by spike chunsoft, and we obviously see that ouma is nowhere near as antagonistic as he was in the game. although, i only have read the first anthology (also while we are at it, i cant wait to buy the thjree v3 anthologies even without knowing japanese, lulz)

but we also see his character actually getting darker and darker with each chapter, with chapter 4 probably taking the point. esp on when it ended. at first i was kind of conflicted about his oversentimal reaction towards gonta being executed, because that felt just as fake as his overly evil presentation afterwards. altho after some time thinking abt this, i came to the conclusion that he just leaked a little bit of his juicy true self(tm), realized that what he meant was actually genuine and then proceed to vent his emotions in making him seem like the most villainous person u ever met. because i think one of the reasons ouma acted out like is because he believed he was at fault for gontas death. so instead of trying to sweet talk yourself, he just took the oppurtunity to make him the least likeable person. cuz who would ever want to like someone who jokes about genuinely being concered about someone dying? yeah no one dude

also i think ouma is ironically a bit well-mannered (yeah guis im not joking here). ..  .if we ignore all his stupid pranks.. so you see, whenever i got rejected after dates with ouma in salmon mode.. it went like this for example “eeh, wow you are going to the libary with me and now you want to leave? that hella rude man, why am i wasting my time like this” or “wow you really must think highly of yourself if you think you are worth changing for, how arrogant”  which looks like he knows what is appropriate and what not

i remember what he said that and i suddenly went like “shit i cant believe im hearing this from you man” which was kinda funny as a side note btw

anyways, to his motive video. oh shit, his motive video . . . even without having known how messed up the translation was, that damaged me.-.. i mean i always thought that ouma exaggerated the size of his organization, at some poiint i just thought that his entire organization was a lie and his tru talent was the ultimate liar. which obsly wasnt the case lmao 

but his motive video.. just wanting to prank ppl for laughs and entertainment. its so light hearted compared to what he claimed it to be that it hurts another thing that i think is worth noting is that DICE was his motive video, not his family. DICE, who is like family. but not his actual family. what does that mean? does that mean that his actual family wasnt like family to ouma? i sure as hell thought so and i still do 

a different thing is that ouma said that nobody would care about him dying and that his organization would be better off without him, plus that it seems that monokuma said that ouma knows what happened to DICE in the motive video which leads me to.. uhh.. what if ouma did something he absolutely regretted doing (since it caused DICE trouble?) - but im not entire set on that theory

its also sad that he constantly had to hint about hiimself instead of just talking abt it to shuichi. like, he wanted shuichi to help him or actually even hinder him at carrying out his plan, he low key hoped for it because shuichi is a detective which showed to be shrewd enough to be able to make proper deductoins in class trials, furthermore he isnt a dick towards ouma and actually respects him in a way. something that ouma most likely didnt calculate

which mades the statement that shuichi said in the end of chapter 4 even more painful. shuichi was the only person that ouma kind of trusted and relied on. and prob the only one he wanted to show his true self to, that very person told him hes 5 ever alone with no friends at all. that hes a pathetic little brat who should start to view the world differently (def not what shuichi said 1:1 but.. yeah idk my own interpretation) 

im pretty sure that hurt ouma a lot 

hnnng, i truly wished for ouma to be one of the survivors. altho i figured that hes gonna plot something absolutely mind blowing in chapter 5, i seriously couldnt believe that he was actually dead... well, not until the closing argument. as soon as there were the words “closing argument” all over my screen i began to cry like an idiot. i couldnt even read properly man, thats just how blurry my vision was from all the tears

in other hand: i was (and still am lol) extremely attached to ouma and his death was very unsatisfying, since he died quite heroic but nobody considered him so. also he never made up with these ppl. also fuck kodaka

[0fuckyahchickenstrips0]

A Short Story Of Depression

Keys jingling in one hand, phone in the other. Various bags from the different stores I had to stop at strung on my arms. Walking to the door was such a easy thing to do, I do it everyday, open and close this door walk in and out every day. Something I was used too. Never thought it was something I should have feared doing, especially on this normal day that was so much like every other day that went by and never had any incidents only filled with happy memories and sunshine, and filled with being in love. Never wanting a single day to end but always excited for what tomorrow would bring, so long as we were together.

I struggle to raise my hand that had the keys in them, looking through the various keys for that one special key that had a monkeys face on it, so animated and unrealistic but still the cutest thing and I wouldn't change it for the world. Once I have it ready, i push it into the lock and unlock the front door, hearing the tell tale ‘click’ that said the door was now unlocked. Turning the knob with my hand holding the keys and using my left foot I kick it open. The living room is empty, no tv on or signs of anyone being in there. I kick the door shut as i set down the keys on the stand right by our front door. A cute little stand that has flowers painted onto the sides and looks like it belonged in a doll house that my grandma used to have. I cross the living room and enter the hallway leading to the kitchen. The kitchen light is on so I know for sure someone is in there and seeing as how only two people lived here it wasnt hard to guess who it most likely was. An instant smile plasters across my face, same as it always does when im around you, sometimes I dont even realize im doing it and then you will look over at me with your lazy smile and melt my heart. I turn around the corner, not immediately seeing anyone as I looked over at the fridge first then across to the dinning room seeing a part of your back from around the wall. Setting the bags wrapped around my arms on the first counter I came into contact with and almost skipping over to where you sat. I didn't notice the smell in the room, or the atmosphere when I entered the house. i didn't think anything bad would happen to us. We were one of those couples that everyone was jealous of, never fought, never weren't on the same page, never unhappy with each other, always so madly in love. No matter where we were at. Never did I think that of all things that could have gotten between us it would have been a mental illness, just thoughts overcrowding in your head, not feeling good enough, not being in the right place. If anything happened I always figured it would be me, something I did, or me not being good enough because I also struggled with depression and anxiety I always assumed it would be me. But there you sat. Slumped in the kitchen chair, eyes void of any emotion, your hands wrapped around a cup that sat in front of you, filled with a sour smelling substance that burned my nose and made the room smell. You didn't feel like you, being in this room suddenly felt like it was the same as if I had just walked into a random house and sat down at their dinner table. You didn't look up, didnt hear me come in or if you did you made no move to great me, I didn't see that same smile I get also spread across your beautiful face. That was enough to stop me in my tracks. Too confused to continue any farther into the room, I didnt understand what was happening. I felt as though I had walked into a dream, floating out of my own body because somewhere inside I knew what was coming. Before you even said the words.

Hunched over still in the chair, not part of you moving, just the slight tilt of your head as you said those words. “I cant do this anymore.”

My world crashed right then and there. Crashed so hard it left me feeling like the wicked witch in the Wizard Of Oz that got smashed by the house. Left me wondering what do even do or say, I was so paralyzed in that moment it felt like my soul had been ripped from my body, the air swooshed out of my lungs in one silent exhale.

Those eyes still hadnt looked up to meet mine.

My mind kept thinking this over and over, I just wanted to see his eyes, and that smile. Taking a step forward, but not moving closer to him, even though my body was just screaming for me to throw myself at him. Start begging, break down, do anything, do fucking something. Why wasnt I doing anything?! My mind was racing and my heart felt like a fucking stampede was running around in there. I was to scared to even speak, my voice would give away everything that I felt, but I had to somehow change his mind, calm him down or something. Tell him this is a mistake, that its just him overthinking. Everything would be fine if we had eachother, we were going to do so many things together. I wanted to tell him I could wait until it gets better, that he didnt have to do this. But all I got out was "Why?" just that one word, barely escaping my lips as I stood frozen in the dinning room, looking at his back, he had never fully turned to look at me.. His voice is rough, like he had been yelling and screaming all day. I wanted to believe it was thick with emotion that he would show a sign that this wasnt anything he wanted to do that he was just doing it out of his state of mind right now. But his face and voice were both void of any emotion, aside from sadness, but not the sadness from leaving the one you love. The kind of sadness you build up from a life a torment and pain, and always being kicked when your down. Something that not many people could understand, but I did because my face often had that expression plastered on it. Or the fake smile that hides my true feelings. I wanted to break through that barrier, to get to him, to reason with him. I could feel my soul reaching out to his trying to comfort it but I was coming up short, like he was out of my grasps and that I couldnt reach him.

"I just cant do this anymore, I have to end things." He said those words like he was reading Que cards. Monotone and like it was no big deal, like his words didnt just shatter my entire world, the pieces raining down around me like fireworks. The throb in my chest suddenly becoming a full on jack hammer going haywire in my chest. I didnt think I could be in so much pain without having a limb cut off or have been shot, or something of that nature. But here I stood, completely fine physically, no injuries, but I felt like I was having open heart surgery while lying awake and fully aware on the table with no pain meds or anything. I finally stepped towards him, not sure what pushed me to do so, but my arm reached out to touch his shoulder, the need for him to wrap his arms around me growing so strong I wanted to scream it at him. He slowly moved away, a subtle movement but I got the message immediately... He didnt want to be touched by me. My hand fell back to my side, pins and needles danced up that arm as if i had just been electrocuted. My eyes started to get blurry and I knew i couldnt hold off the emotions for too long, soon enough i would break down in front of him, beg him cry and shout or just shut down. But i wanted to stay strong so i could get to him. Why was it so hard to just keep calm.

"You said you loved me..." the words came out of my mouth, i hadnt realized i was going to say them but there they were. They sounded pathetic and stupid coming from me. "We had so much planned, it wasnt fake. We can still have that, we cant still be happy." I named all the things we said we were going to do, all the talks we had had, all the things we shared. It all just came spilling out in one big slab of word vomit. Unable to control it or stop the spew of words coming from my mouth as i watched him still not moving and still not making eye contact with me, wouldnt even move or budge the whole time and that only made me want to shout louder at him or to shake him to snap him out of it because i needed him more than i needed air and he couldnt do this to me... couldnt do this to us. "please.... dont leave me... i cant do this without you." my voice finally cracked on that last word. The emotions all bubbling to the top too fast, overwhelming everything inside of me. The tears stung my eyes as they threaten to spill over onto my cheeks and not in the two drops running down my cheek way but they buckets and buckets of tears flowing down my cheek like an imitation Niagara falls. I wanted to curl up in the fetal position and sit in a corner repeating 'it will be okay' over and over like a mental patient. My mind felt so close to snapping I felt so unpredictable in that moment because my entire world was falling apart, and none of it felt real. I felt as though i would wake up like from a bad dream and roll over and things would be fine and as they were but yet, no matter how hard i tried i could not wake myself up.

Finally his eyes met mine. So many things and emotions swam in his eyes. Nothing that i could decipher and none of it was for what he was doing. He looked at me for a solid minute before speaking, and it felt like an entire lifetime. "Im not good. I just cant do it, i need you to understand this."

"i dont understand!" My voice scared even myself as that bubbled out of my lips. The tears freshly flowing down my cheeks now, too late to try to keep it together. I so didnt have it together and i didnt know if i ever would again after this. "I didnt expect you to be happy about this.." he trailed off "but at least i told you, you deserve that much. " His words confused me and just cut deeper like a surgeon cutting into my chest, shredding my insides and leaving me with nothing left, just scraps. I wanted to drop down on my knees and beg him, beg him not to do this, what could i say to make him stay? How could i get him to see, i went to praying begging God to make him see his fault in this, begging him to not take him away from me too. I couldn't live without him, not with all thats going on for me, and i know that sounds selfish but i loved him so much, and he was all i had. No one understood me like he did and no one made me feel the way he did. It was as if no one else existed when he was around and now he just wanted to leave me... leave me like i was nothing to him. I watched him as he stood from his seat, not knowing what he was doing or where he was going, but i had an idea and i couldn't do anything, couldn't move to stop him or call out his name or grab his arm. I just stood there glued to the floor, so damn heart broken and a wreck. As soon as I saw him grab for the door handle to the front door i knew, it was real. That this was really happening and he was really leaving me, after he swore he wouldn't and we swore we would always be together. Everything felt so real and so right and it was because we loved each other, or didnt we? I know i loved him but did he really love me or was it just my imagination, thinking he did. I didnt even know what was happening anymore, nothing felt real and i slowly felt myself fading from reality. I watched as he turned that door knob, opened the door, never once turning back or pausing or showing any sign of anything what so ever. He just opened it and walked out. Walked out of my life, took my heart, left me broken, and shattered. The blackness that was my thoughts swallowed me whole in that moment and i felt as if i would never resurface for as long as i lived as i slide down tot he floor and lost it right there.

[lukewright12-blog]

FMP FINAL EVALUATION

For my final, I have made a film. This film after seven weeks I think still adheres to what I said I would do in my original project brief. The film itself is a short film that explores a possible ever lasting imprint new technology will have on this world more in particular the impact holograms could have in the communication centre as well the impact virtual reality could have on a humans mental being and how real it could fell to someone, given the circumstance. So the underlying story of my film is that a man wakes up in a blank room completely unaware of his new surroundings and tries to make sense of them, after becoming increasing stressed he drops to his knees and tries to calm himself why this is happening a hologram appears and greets him, they then conversate but the man becomes more so frustrated as she speaks in enigma and doesnt reveal to him whats going on. Eventually she confronts him and asks him why he killed his family, in complete denial and shock the man becomes emotional and frustrated, the hologram then turns hostile on him and once he has got to his peak of stress he is pulled out to discover he had woken up in VR, as part of an experiment for a VR police interrogation program.

In this unit I have made vast progress from point A when this was only an initial idea to point B where its now a film. I have gone across a whole journey of researching, experimenting, networking with film professionals and making to get to where I am now. Personally Im really happy I got this opportunity to do my own project and just ‘go for it as an inexperienced film maker and see what happens. On the other hand, did my final turn out how I wanted it to, well not even close, I made many errors during production due to both some errors I had had in pre-production as well as on set. In post is where I had the bulk of my issues as things wouldnt work, footage filmed wrong to do things to and I didnt have some essential footage I needed due to my battery dying a lot on set and my actors wanting to go home after a long day of filming. I then also had a massive problem in post with exporting, so the film is nothing like what I wanted it to turn out like and I think that could make it stray away from the brief a tad as its not as effective in portraying the story and message I wanted it to tell.

Methods as well as various platforms have been essential to this projects progression and my personal learning. So I really do credit the sketch book as my main source of development as it allows me freedoms to write and draw whatever I so please on the pages provided to let my mind run lose and develop my idea. I also think net working through Ravensbourne with the students in higher courses than me or who have been through these courses have helped with my idea development as hearing everyones thoughts is interesting and their ideas combine with what I can think up helps inspire new scenes and thoughts. The blog has been really useful as well in terms of only making my work better as reflecting on everything Ive done every day helps me to spot out things in which I have made an error in and see what needs to be done to improve my work next time. I have also found that surprisingly my weekly plan in my project proposal has helped me leaps and bounds as I have followed it religiously the past seven weeks and always reflected in my blog to check I was on schedule to meet the work in which I had set out for myself in the weekly plan. This has kept me more on target than ever and has made me think about the bigger picture more and about what is essential to the project. Keeping on track has helped me a lot with developing my project and being able to develop further if I distributed my time rightly.

In terms of targets met I managed to make a short film, and create my hologram in my short film. In terms of whether it meet its requirements to portray an imprint of new tech which in my film is holographic communication and the effects of VR on a human, will be down to how well the film reads now that its had to be drastically cut back because of my export problem that turned into a nightmare and me having to cut a lot of footage because of various issues. I thought I explored the internet very well to squeeze as much information on what I wanted out of it as possible, I also think this research informed my film well even though the film isnt great. I didnt really add any new targets but I think personally I meet all the ones is set to some extent.

Reflecting on my FMP I think I have gained the most valuable thing - experience. I have got to go out on my own and create my own project based around anything I so pleased as long as it adheres to the brief touch. It is around this experience that my ideas have developed. I think that what I done at first was dream. I maximised my idea and developed it to near full potential, I had a perfect image in my heads of how my project was going to look, I had researched how my hologram was going to look and how my film was going to play out in terms of development I had everything down right, until shoot day and post. This I see as a vital turning point in my project where my idea development almost had to change after I had got my footage as I had to then develop the idea to the point where it was realistic rather than perfect as it became quite apparent that perfect wasnt going to happen when I ran into my long list of problems. This I think was the most vital idea development as I then had to turn an idea that I had dreamed up into a realistic film that could be shown as I couldnt magically get the extra footage that I really needed as my actor had gone off to a job in New York for the next month to so re-shoot was not an option. This is where I had to think on the spot and manipulate the story and the footage in the edit to get a half decent story out that still somewhat portrayed the idea that I wanted to portray. This type of development I found way more useful to my learning; reflecting on it now as it was a more real world situation and could definitely prove to benefit me in the future rather than if everything had just gone prefect. However, I do still think its a shame I couldnt get the film out that I wanted to as Ive had to change It due to my issues, but saying this Im grateful I have a film that I can show that has taught me more than I thought it would have.

Personally without sounding like a snob I have not found group tutorials useful what so ever as ever time people commented on what to do next I was already one step ahead and probably doing it already, so in that respect I thought they were a waste of time for me personally and I thought I could have been doing more productive things with that hour and a half every week. Saying this I thought one on ones with my tutors was useful as they were more in depth and personalised. But the most useful feedback I had that I see as being essential to my project was networking with other students in courses higher than me as they are currently doing their FMPs and are experienced in FMPs as theyve gone through college and are doing their university degrees now. Two people in particular however have helped me out more than I could say, Cole who works at the I.T. Desk has a degree in Motion Graphics and Can who is just finishing third year of Digital Film here. They have helped me with developing my ideas and have invested a lot of time into me giving me feedback and honest opinions on what I should be doing and what I need to do going forward. 

So next time I definitely need a crew what has become apparent to me that is if you try to do everything by yourself you will struggle very much. As on shoot day I was so stressed out where I was trying to direct, manage actors, help my mum do sound, move my brother so that the green screen didnt have white light shining thought the back of it, camera man/shoot the whole thing myself so the clapper board and move the boom mic all at the same time. Also in post turns out I need an editor as I cant edit to save my life, I can see the shots and I know what I want when editing I just cant get it myself as Im too impatient and get stressed out by editing, saying this I defiantly need to improve my editing skills. So as a general I need to arrange to a have a crew next time. A big thing I also need to take away is that I need to be more prepared for disaster because this time round I had disaster in the edit and if it wasnt for Can and the guys at I.T. my film may have not came through.

In terms of skills Ive developed for industry, I think Im a better director now as Im starting to pick up on my mistakes and critically evaluate what needs to happen and what weve done wrong. I also think Im learning how to manage people better which is essential for time management. In terms of technical skills, I am learning slowly how to edit although I do not like it and dont intend to be an editor but Im learning none the less.

Building on my skill set going forward I strive to become a better director and be able to make even better stories that can adhere to even harder briefs. I need to build on my editing and understanding of editing going forward as its essentially the end game of film making once youre on the editing stage. I need to be more prepared as well going forward as I need to be able to be more resilient to problems that I face and more relaxed when dealing with them as stressing doesnt help your mind set very well and can be harmful to the bigger picture of a project.

Next year I intend to continue film making, continue getting better at it, continue making mistake and hopefully become the best film maker I can be so that one day I can get to where I want to be.

[arthurflecksgirl]

Hello !!! Can I have Arthur x reader? Reader has been so caught up in her work that they forget to eat. They get extremely lightheaded and stumble a little. Arthur steadies them and he is worried when he finds out they forgot to eat. While he is making food they faint and land (luckily) on the couch. When he's done, he comes back , at first he thinks that they're just laying down but he kinda freaks out when he realizes that reader is unconscious. ( I forget to eat sometimes) THANK YOU🥺💚

Thank you for so much for your request @theichabbieclub !!! :)

I wrote you this piece and I hope you`ll like it !!! :)

Coming home from work was one of the best parts of the day for you. Especially since you moved into Arthurs apartment with him. Apartment 8J was not just a place to live. It was home to you. You have only been here for a couple of months now, but it felt like there was no life before Arthur. Sometimes you forgot what life felt like before his arms around you, before the unconditional love he felt for you. All those years before him didnt made sense. But sometimes things just don`t make sense until they do. He was your reason to get up in the morning. The reason why you always had a song on your mind. Every song you listened to seemed to be about him. Every poem you read reminded you of the love you shared. Arthur was everything you wanted and more. Even the simple act of turning the keys and openening the doorlock to get back home to him felt special. Sometimes you got so caught up in work, it felt like working was stealing your time. Knowing  Arthur would be home, waiting for you to lie down on the couch and relax with him helped you to get through the day. You kept a polaroid photo of the first day you met in your purse and looked at it, everytime it got stressful at your working place. The photo was all shaky because Arthur was really shy to get his photo taken. He was convinced that his hair didnt looked good enough so he tried to steal the camera from you. He loved being childish and playful at times. That was when the picture was taken and you loved the pure and honest engery to it. It was so him. You stumbled through the door and threw the keys beside. A headache started to set in and made you feel a little weak in the knees. You were thankful that the building had an elevator. Climbing up some stairs would have been a chore on days like these. "Artie, I am home". Arthur was sitting on the couch, writing in his journal as an old tape of the Murray Franklin show was playing. He immediately stood up to welcome you in his arms. You loved his sloppy kisses upon yor forehead. It was something he did a lot when you came home and you thought it was an adorable thing to do. What an loving and caring boyfriend he was. Always so thankful to have you on his side. You rubbed your own dimples "You`ve been writing?" Arthur pointed at his journaly "Yeah, I was making some notes about Murrays behaviour and his timing. I can learn a lot from him. And I wrote two or threee jokes. I have to figure out the punshline of the last one though." You nodded. Your vision seemed to blurr a bit. "Y/N? are you okay? You seem like you don`t feel so good? " Now that you were home it seemed like all the stress from work was falling off you. But you felt so incredibly weak. It was the kind of tiredness that got to your bones. "I´m okay. Just a little....dizzy" you covered your face with your hand and closed your eyes, hoping the dizzyness would go away as soon as you´ll open them again. "Oh baby, I dont don`t think so. I`m kinda worried. Is there anything I can do ?" you felt his hands stroking up and down your arm, but you weren`t even sure if this was really happening right now. Everything became a blurr, even the sensation of being touched. "Arthur....I....I dont....know....I´m not sure" you walked up to the bathroom "I`ll be back in a minute. You stumbled over your feet and almost landed on the floor. Thank god Arthur was there to make you steady. Everything about your condition seemed familar to him. Being lightheaded, stumbling, feeling dizzy and weak. He was struggeling with this a lot when he wasnt eating due to his medication. He supported you to stand up straight. "Did anything happen to you today Y/N? ? I mean, something is causing your condition. Are you in pain or something?" his hand caressed your back in small circles, which felt so good. His hands always managed to make you feel better. No matter how stressed or drained you felt. His hands gave you hope and life. The gentlesses of his touch was the most wonderful comfort you could have ever imagined. "I`m not sure...it`s hard to concentrate right now...is all so blurry" you mumbled into his hair as you hugged him. All you needed was him right now. His arms around you. To be steady. He would be there if you were about to fall. Your anchor. Arthur pettet the back of your head "Ummm...honey, I now how it feels. I feel like that when I`m unable to eat because of my meds. You gotta rest a bit. " Now that Arthur mentioned this, it came to your mind. You `ve been so cought up in work that you totally forgot to eat! His arms still held you tight, so your knees wouldnt give in. Arthur could feel the weakness of your body through his embrace. Usually he was the one who must have been held and supported. You couldnt even remember how many times you had to pick him up from the floor. Now he was there for you. And thats how you knew that no matter what, you would always still have each other. No matter what kinda storm was closing in. You and Arthur would face it togeteher. Hand in hand. Arthur loosened the embrace to be able to face you "What? Oh no Y/N. Thaat doesnt sound good. I`m familar with that. It can make you weak up until a point where you get very lightheaded. I dont want this to happen to you. You gotta eat something! I´ll be in the kitchen and make you some food. I´ll be right back, okay?" You nodded thankfully. "Yeah. Thank you,darling". He stroke your cheek "Can you stand?" "Yes Arthur. I guess I feel a bit better now compared to when I just got through the door". "Thats good. I`ll hurry up to get you something. You can take my journal and check out the last three pages if you want. Let me know what you think of my lastes jokes". Arthur smiled the sweetest smile when he got to the kitchen. You saw him standing there, making some sandwiches while you picked up his diary. There was no wall between the kitchen and the  living room, so you were able to watch him making you food. You loved him so much. He had a worried look upon his face but he was humming. It was something that calmed him down when he was nervous. He cared so much about you. Arthur glanced at you. You could tell from the look in his eyes that he was madly in love with you. You tried to read the latest stuff written in his diary but the letters became all blurry... Rubbing your eyes wouldnt help. It was impossible to concentrate on what has been written on the pages. You tried anyway "One clown says to another `Hey you know whats funnay?` ....." Your vision started to fade and you took a look around to the kitchen to check if Arthur is done making food, before everything blacked out. ... Arthur decorated the last sandwich with a little heart he cut out of a pickle. It was the little things. He loved to decorate your food to make it look a little bit more special and to make you feel loved. Cutting out little hearts of vegetables was one of his fave things to do. Showing you attention made him happy. He waited for someone who loved him back all his life and now that he finally had you, he wanted to make sure to make you feel loved every second you spent with each other. Sometimes you gave him so much love that he felt like it was hard to keep up with. He held all these feelings inside of him and tried his best to let them show. Some days it was a little harder for him to put them into words than others. So he was always thinking of a way to proof his love to you. "Y/N? Do you want tea, coffe or a hot chocloate?" he asked you, while he opened the cupboard. No answer "Baby?". Arthur looked over to the couch. It seemed like you fell asleep. For a moment he asked himself if it would be better to let you rest. But then again he really thought you should eat something. So he walked up to you and put the plate with the self made sandwhiches on the table. His hand caressed your cheek but you didnt felt it. " I`ve made you yor fave sandwiches. Wake up, my love." Arthur looked at you with concern "Y/N? " He realized that you lost your consciousness and -thank god- landed on the couch. "Oh no,no,no, Y/N....wake up, please". He touched your face with his shaking hand. Arthur. He felt overwhelmed by the situaton and started to sweat within seconds, running his hand through his hair.  "You gotta... wake up. Can you....can you hear me?" You looked like you had a fever dream but still no reaction. Arthurs eyes wandered to the phone. Should he call a doctor? He would, if you wouldnt wake up within the next two minutes.   He got up from the couch and walked up and down the room. What now? He never was in a sitiation like this before. Usually he was the one fainting or seeking help. He felt like he wasnt very good in what he was doing right now.  "Arthur. Think. Try to think for gods sake. She needs you now. Y/N needs you now. " he talked to himself, getting more nervous with every second that past. There was no time to waste. He had to wake you up now. He couldnt handle seeing you like this. The love of his life lying fainted on the couch. So powerless. He sat down beside you and kept talking to you, while his leg started to bounce. Something he had to deal with everytime he got nerveaous. And this time it was bad. He felt like his whole body was shaking from his bouncy leg. Arthur pressed his left hand against his  upper thigh. "Y/N....I`m right here. Can you hear me? Please answer me or give me a sign if you can hear me?! Otherwise I will call a doctor...please". Arthr felt a laugh crawling up his throath. Not now.  He coughed it away. Trying to keep it down. He felt his eyes watering. His heart was racing in his chest. Arthur flet close to a panic attack. He knew this. He felt it before. But never because of someone he loved as much as he loved you. This fear was worse. If anything every happened to you..... This was too much. But he had to stay calm for you. He was the only one who could help you right now. And he would. Arthur took your face between his hands "Baby?" You finally moved. A quiet mumble escaped your dry lips. Arthurs face lighted up. "Oh thank god" he whispered to himself. "Arthur?" "Yes Y/N....can you hear me now?" "Yeah....what....happened?" "You fainted and landed on the couch. I first thouht you fell alseep but you were unconciousness and couldnt hear me. Arthur would tell you that he was close to a panik attack. He wanted you to feel as save as possible. "Oh...Now I remember I was feeling dizzy when I got home.." your hand reached for his. "Right. You said you fotgot to eat. So I made you some sandwhiches and when I got bck from the kitchen thats how I found you. I got so worried...." "I`m so sorry I scared you, Artie. This happened to me before. Sometimes I just forget to eat and thats the result. I never wanted you to deal with this. Sorry, darling". He handed you the plate "Please eat something, okay? Your body needs it. No one knows that better than I do. Remember when I stopped eating for days because my meds made me feel sick everytime I took a bite? I couldnt even leave the bed anymore. Don`t do this to yourself. We need to stay strong for each other. And later I will try to eat something,too. Okay?" You nodded thankfully  and took a bite from the sandwhich "Mhh....self made?" "Of course! They will make you feel better soon" he smiled. "Ohhh Artthur. There is a little pickle heart! You`re always so thoughtful. Now that I know that you made it with so much love it tastes even better." Arthur placed the plate with the rest of the food in his lab and put his arm around you. "I`m glad to hear that Y/N." Arthur watched you eating and felt his muscles relax again. His leg was calm. Arthur took the last sandwhich in his hand and let you take a bite after another. "I´m feeling better now. Thank you so much, Arthur. For taking care of me." Your hand played with one of his brown curls. "Don`t thank me for that. Thats what im here for. Loving you. Taking care of you.  Just the way you do take care of me. And I know I am no easy patient to handle" . There was so much love in Arthurs eyes. "So what do you think of my new jokes?" " I wanted read them but I guess that was  the moment  I fainted". "Oh....I see. How about we cuddle up in bed after you finshed the sandwhich, I´ll make you a hot chocolate and read you my latest jokes? I guess you need some good laughs now?!"

You took the last bite of the sandwhich before you placed a soft kiss upon his lips "That sounds wonderful, Arthur. Your jokes are the best medicine anyway."

[toshaderham9-blog]

hairy pussies girls - Fear? Not If You Use Twats Hairy The Right Way!

One night, we were all at a house party together. I remember to this day thinking about how sexy his eyes were upon first glance and how instantly I was attracted to him. His brother and I graduated from college together, and we were fairly good friends. I met Jake about seven years ago. It was innocent small talk at first, but it didnt take long for us to reveal how attracted we were to one another - and the sexting started. We talked frequently that night, but nothing ever came of it. We atk hairy butts would only see each other in person again maybe once or twice, as he didnt live in the city and he moved around the country often for work. We fell out of touch between getting in and out of relationships over the past few years. Sending dirty pictures and messages about the things we wanted to do to one another. I cant recall how we initially started texting one another, Im sure after some exchanging of Facebook posts, comments and eventually messages. A few months ago, it was rekindled after we added one another on Snapchat. But it did turn out that we ended up with one anothers phone numbers and we would text semi-regularly. The shared moments were usually just silly things that seemed Snap-worthy. I was introduced to Jake while pouring myself a drink. If you beloved this posting and you would like to receive extra info pertaining to amateur hairy galleries kindly check out the page. The texting slowed down, the pictures stopped and eventually all communication ended. "Wish I could be there," it simply read. Not long after, Jake replied to me. Wed send a photo or video here or there to one another, but it wasnt anything special and definitely didnt carry out previous sexually-charged context. It felt almost taboo, knowing that this was one of my best friends brothers, and he had no idea that we had this connection. His body was great as hes incredibly fit, yet lean. I kept recalling back to when we communicated more. I wouldnt mind being cuddled up to a body like that as I laid on my couch alone instead. "All I want to do right now is to cuddle up next to you," he confessed. A smile crept across my face at the thought of having him near me for the first time in five years, perhaps even a little longer. I clicked the screen and it read, "I also still really want to fuck you. I continued to think back to those photos he would send me, and the nights I would lay in bed playing with myself while messaging him. Yesterday was no different, as I posted a video about binge-watching Netflix all day thanks to a brutal hangover from the night before. His abs always drove me crazy in the pictures hed send, as would the V leading down to his cock. " I replied to him as I jumped into my bed and sprawled out on the comforter. My roommate was at work for the day, I could retreat to my room and spend a couple hours sexting with Jake and having fun with myself for old time sake. " I had never sexted through Snapchat yet, but I kind of liked the idea of it. And make things a little more interesting. Sounded like a far better way to spend my day than rewatching Friends for the ten-millionth time. As I reminisced, another message came through. We talked about how many pictures we had saved of one another on our phones, and he even explained that he still kept a few of my breasts around because they were great material for when he wanted to get off. He requested we move the conversation to regular texting, but I told him I wanted to keep it here. "How bad do you want me right now? At the end of the video I aimed my phone back at my face. "Let me see those tits," he demanded. I sat up, sent him a photo of myself unzipping my sweatshirt, already not wearing anything underneath, showing a little bit of cleavage. I was taken aback at the replay and hearing my voice. It was always just text and photos. " I then upped my game, sent a video to him of me unzipping it further, but still not enough to let it fully open. " It was a simple reply, but one I figured would make him realize that I did still long for him, even after all this time without so much as a hello to one another. Made me feel incredibly sexy to know after all this time he still had them, and used them. He replied with a video, no sound, of his hand tugging down his shorts, the top of his cock becoming visible. What a tease we were both being to one another. I responded with a video finally letting my breasts out, moving the phone around so he could see them from all angles versus the standard photos he had just received i the past. "Now what do I get to see? Why hadnt I thought of this sooner? I became incredibly turned on at the thought of hearing him, him hearing me, being able to communicate with him in this way, the anticipation of waiting for what we were going to send one another, and what we were going to do or say. But it cut after just a few seconds. " he questioned, his voice was rough and deep. "Talk more, you sound so fucking sexy," I replied via text. I cant remember the last time I heard it. I had totally forgotten it but it sounded perfect. "I cant be too loud, Im not home alone. " "You win," he answered after a couple minutes, worrying me that he had left me hanging for a moment. "Fuck, I missed those. Please tell me you have some toys I can see you playing with. " I got incredibly excited to be able to have him see me using my vibrator, to hear me fuck myself with it, my moans, gasps, breaths. "Is this what you wanted? I love seeing a man playing with himself. I fished it out of the drawer alongside my bed and sent a video me holding it up to my mouth, wrapping my lips around it, grin on my face. He spoke, softly, "Play with your clit, let me see it. " I did as I was told, and vibrator in my left hand, phone in my right, hit the record button as I pressed it to my clit, letting out little moans, asking if he liked that and rubbed it down further, my lips wrapping around it. He replied with a video of him stroking his dick slowly, which turns me on like nothing else. "I want to bury my face in your pussy. He replied with a shot of his face, grinning, looking so fucking sexy. I had never done anything with him that recorded sound. " "Who cares if they hear you? And they were focused on me. He had only gotten hotter in the past five years, scruffy facial hair and those same stabbing eyes I remembered seeing for the first time all those years ago. I replied with an angle from above my head looking down my entire body as I started fucking myself. Squirming at how good it felt, imagining it was his cock filling me up instead of just a toy. My breasts heaving as my breath got heavy. " he responded via text just before sending me a video of him taking his dick fully out of his shorts. I wanted to give him even more to see. " he stated and hearing him say it so confidently made me want him so bad. What he wanted me to do to him. Tell me what he wanted to do to me. What would he surprise me with next? What would I get to see? Telling him to talk dirty to me. He told me that he wanted me to ride him more than anything, so he could get my tits in his face, so I knelt up on my bed, shot myself from below as if I were there on him, rocking my hips as I I rode my vibrator instead. I sent another video over instantly, of me leaning forward and moving the camera back, my tits hanging for him to see, telling him I want him to bite my nipples. The videos were flying back and forth. So I laid back down on my back, held my vibrator to my clit, let me body relax and lost all control of it as I got close to making myself cum. I was getting so into it, feeling so sexy and wanting him so bad. Feel his hands on my skin, look down on his face as he looking up longingly at me. Wishing more than anything that I could be with him in that moment. He, like me, was unable to catch himself cumming, but did snap xxx natural hairy himself slowly squeezing every last drop out, telling me clean him off with my tongue. I kept kneeling there, riding my vibrator more as I waited to hear back from him. I sent him a few more shots of me being close, begging him to cum for me, telling him I amateur hairy galleries was going to come so hard for him. Unfortunately, timing a Snap to perfectly hit when you climax is pretty damn impossible. But I got myself off, soaking my bed sheet after what felt like forever of sexting with him and I did send him one immediately after of my legs shaking, my breath still heavy, telling him how good he made me feel. I wished I could touch him. But well be doing that soon enough. We messaged a few more dirty videos to one another, post-orgasm before we moved back to only messaging about how hot that was and how we need to do it again soon. It was all so surreal, like I was fucking someone who wasnt there because I still got the sensory experience of hearing him, seeing him. Stroke his cock, take it in my mouth, let it slide inside me. And theres no way were not finally going to fuck the hell out of each other. Hes planning a visit to come see his brother this summer. He messaged me back, after a replaying each of the videos, telling me he couldnt control it and that he was going to be cumming soon and that I had better, too. Seven years of build up has been more than enough.