#but i still would've been so much bigger a mess without the initial support of foster mom and the training rescue

[fbwzoo]

I can't share the 30-some pictures I did with my FB post, going from last December to this December. So I'll just use this one - which I just took after a quick harness training session in which she bounced across half the couch to meet me & wagged for the first 15 seconds, and before she made me put my phone down for a bout of snuggle scritches. 😭🥰

This is such a long post, I'm going to put it under a cut. But today is the 1 year anniversary of Emma coming home to us, and I am FULL of emotions over this little dog. So if you want to read my rambling & think with me how far my baby has come in a year.... read on!

One year of my Emma. 💙💜 I didn't really expect to love this dog so much, velcro dog and all. She is definitively My Dog, and I never had a choice in the matter. I think that was just gonna happen, ever since I first saw her adoption post 1 year & 9 months ago. Every time I saw her posted again, I wanted her. It was meant to be! 🥰

And now I look back on the year & think about it all. We changed a bunch of things in our household for this little dog, and all year, we kept adjusting & improving where it was needed for her & the other animals. I love my family so much, and I'm so grateful to have found these other people who love animals & are so willing to adapt as needed for their happiness too. Everyone in the house agreed to take on a project dog, and everyone stepped up to help her settle in.

It's weird too, bc it often doesn't feel like we've DONE that much. But when I tell someone new about her, or spell it out for myself, I'm reminded that we've done the work, even if it mostly didn't seem like work. And we gave her what we knew we absolutely could, what she needed most - time and space. We went at her pace, let her lead us, and it's been truly amazing to watch her over this year.

Emma has gone from being very worried to terrified about any & all human movements, unable to be pet or touched, quick to be on guard at any small change in position. Terrified of loud noises and too much activity. Barking at Joel to try and make him go away. Pottying in the house on pee pads because outside is scary. Only laying in a lap if the lap was covered with a blanket.

All of that.... to a dog that spends 98% of her time relaxed, happy, and ready to be involved. She greets us with alert barks instead of guarding barks, tail wags, bouncing, and licks (okay, mostly me for some of that but still). Everyone in the house has been able to pet her. She actively loves to be pet by Jack in bed & me anywhere when she wants snuggles. She plays with her dog siblings and with me. She discovered the joys of yard zoomies early on & never looked back - she potty trained faster and better than Spring!

She knows and likes our household routines. She LOVES food, and it's the quickest way to her heart! 😂 But she's learned some manners too, like not snatching food with any opportunity! She's gotten more comfortable being on the floor. She still likes to chew more than our other two, and has gotten really great at managing big emotions by redirecting to a Benebone!

We're not the best at active training, but even so, she makes us & me look good! She's interested now, when the treats come out, and wants to see what to do to get some. She interacts with new objects, she is doing great with harness training.

She has opinions now!!! And she will tell you!!! Especially if they involve dinner time! 😂 I still can't believe she demand barks now, and it's been too cute for us to bother stopping for the most part.

I've thought about goals for her over the next year, and I definitely have some big ones. Continue harness training until I can put it fully on her & take it off. Leash skills & comfort with them. All of that slowly, so slowly leading up to trips out of the house - to do vet happy visits, check out some SniffSpots, and go visit her sister at foster mom's house. I also want to introduce some pattern games to help with all of that.

And we plan to start having people over to the house again! Not sure how often or how many, and we may have to alter pace based on how she does. But she's so often surprised us with her resilience, so I think we'll do okay! (And obviously all visitors will be required to follow rules around my pup, or face the mama bear wrath 😂)

But mostly....I just can't wait for another year with this extremely sweet, loving, exuberant little dog that is working so hard to find her confidence. We're all so very proud of Emma, and love her so much. 💜💙

I also included a thank you to both rescues & Emma's foster mom, for all of their time, work, and hoops to ensure that Emma would be safe. They genuinely gave us all the information we needed to make sure we were prepared, and I am even more grateful for that after seeing how rare our experience is in my fearful dogs group.

[sepublic]

Reading through your Lilith analyses got me thinking. What if the reason she thinks the curse is why Eda didn't join the Emperor's Coven, is because Lilith believes Eda gave up the position for her and would've jumped at another chance to get in to be with her sister? - Pixel Anon

           That’s… EXACTLY my read on the situation, honestly! Lilith has this expectation, almost an entitlement really, for Eda to constantly act with her older sister in mind, that whatever she does is low-key a reflection of her feelings on Lilith and their inseparable sibling bond. And likewise, Lilith has been willfully ignorant of Eda’s criticisms of the Coven System, and she thinks that the only thing keeping Eda from joining the Emperor’s Coven is the ostracization of her curse…

          So coupled with how Eda didn’t have the curse (or at least didn’t know about it) in those initial moments after she gave up her position in the EC… And it’s clear that Lilith assumes that Eda was just trying to be nice. Not that Eda could ever have an actual issue with the Emperor’s Coven in the first place, because clearly that’s what Eda secretly wants, deep down? As Lilith said in Sense and Insensitivity, she expects Eda to eventually join the EC of her own volition, so there’s no point in forcing her to do it sooner rather than later; Because Lilith really thinks that this is what Eda truly wants, deep-down, or at least to be with her older sister again.

          Like I said, Lilith overstates her importance to Eda, ignores that Eda has to look after herself as well (especially with the curse SHE cast), and downplays Eda’s other connections by outright dismissing their existence; And she’s totally the kind of person to see love as a pie to be divided between multiple people, like you’re somehow choosing/prioritizing others, which is why Lilith might, say, feel the need to compete with Luz for that affection, and have a resentment/jealousy towards Luz, for being prioritized more by Eda to the point where she’d give her life for the girl, when to Lilith’s assumption, Eda wouldn’t even join the Emperor’s Coven if Lilith’s life was on the line- Which it was!

          And Lilith believes Eda wouldn’t join for Lilith’s sake, because deep down she knows Eda doesn’t care about the Emperor’s Coven anymore, and believes that Eda is saying that her petty pride against the Coven System, which Lilith refuses to understand, is more important than being with Lilith- As if Eda isn’t tormented by the distance between her and Lilith, it’s just that she can’t ignore the cruelty of Belos, either. Because there’s more to life than just the two of them, other people exist too. And Belos’ toxic ideals and propaganda have no doubt jeopardized relationships just like Eda and Lilith’s… Including Eda and Lilith’s, actually. Lilith needs to remember that Eda didn’t eagerly choose defying the Coven System VS being with her sister… It was an uncomfortable choice, and Lilith no doubt contributed towards making that an ultimatum with HER own decisions, as well.

          There’s that irony of Lilith “I don’t have a problem, YOU have a problem” Clawthorne thinking that SHE was the one being patient with Eda, having to deal with a sister who’s participating in a morally-wrong lifestyle that she has to constantly put up with, in the hopes that Eda will finally have a wake-up call and improve; Rather than the other way around… And no matter how much Lilith wanted to be with Eda, how desperate she was to the point of taking Luz hostage, instead of just abandoning the Emperor’s Coven… It goes to show some skewed priorities, that Lilith HAD to have Eda AND her place in the Emperor’s Coven; Especially since Belos is the kind of person who would probably feed into and encourage Lilith, make her feel more ‘appreciated’ by him and his coven, than Lilith is by Eda, who clearly doesn’t appreciate all of the (unasked-for) effort that Lilith extends out to her.

          Belos’ coven validates lonely people like Lilith, by telling them that they’re more special than others, that they earned that chosen privilege… Which could make Lilith resentful towards Eda, for not saying the same; Given how Eda’s beliefs contradict the assumption that there is a hierarchy, and thus Lilith would be greater than anyone else. And when Eda says that Lilith isn’t better than others, it’s not an indictment of her; Rather, it’s an uplifting of everyone in general. Not that Lilith would be able to realize this, because like I said- She probably sees love as something you must prioritize and divide accordingly, and that extends to glory. It’s a forced ultimatum, where one must be able to choose between two witches, and decide one is objectively better; And Lilith might expect Eda to uplift and encourage her, at the implicit expense of others being beneath Lilith’s level.

           That’s all that Lilith wants, really- It’s validation, being told that she’s good enough, because she doesn’t trust her own opinion of herself enough to do that. And she loved Eda’s validation, because you know that even if Eda didn’t want to contribute to those toxic coven system ideas (and it’s worth noting she DID want to join the Emperor’s Coven for a while, so there was a brief period where Eda likely subscribed to its propaganda)… She was still someone who looked out for her sister, like when Lilith got her lunch money stolen that one time. Eda’s love and validation is different than the kind the Emperor’s Coven provides, and it’s why Lilith craves it so much, NEEDS it, and why she can’t just be content with Belos’ propaganda and her position as Head Enforcer of the Emperor’s Coven. But at the same time, Lilith wants both Eda AND Belos’ approval, without realizing the two are in fact contradictory.

          And considering how long Lilith stuck with the Emperor’s Coven, even after Eda made it clear that Lilith had to choose between the two; Well, I don’t blame Belos for believing that when it came to an ultimatum, Lilith would choose the Emperor’s Coven over Eda. She doesn’t want to lose that sense of belonging there, even if it’s to be with Eda- And likewise Lilith is too afraid to challenge Belos after seeing what he’s capable of, amidst not wanting to admit that her views in life have been wrong this entire time; So instead, she goes with what’s most flattering and reassuring, because clearly Eda is in the wrong and the Emperor’s Coven is right. Even when Lilith works against Belos to free Eda, she’s still operating under the hopes that she can return to being Head Enforcer like nothing happened…

          So it’s no wonder that Belos thinks that if Lilith were forced to choose between him and Eda, it’s always Belos- Because all of Lilith’s actions and choices beforehand supported this belief, and she only ever seemed to care for an idea of Eda that never existed, especially as Lilith saw her as the cursed beast she made her. Because to Lilith, just being with Eda wasn’t enough to make up for losing her place in the Emperor’s Coven, apparently… But alas- Lilith DID prioritize Eda more, in a sense… She just had issues realizing this, amidst the fact that she rightfully asks why she needs to choose between the two, why can’t she have both; Though in this case, she REALLY can’t have both, because Belos and his ideals are antithetical to the idea of ignoring ultimatums when it comes to prioritizing what you want in life. And when Lilith FINALLY is forced to confront an ultimatum between Eda and the Emperor’s Coven, unsurprisingly set up by Belos himself… In the end, Belos miscalculated.

          And to be fair- I think Belos didn’t take into account how Luz’s healthier relationship with Eda showed to Lilith, just how much she was messing up. Let’s be real here, Luz is a TOTAL outlier in every sense of the term, in both an in-universe and narrative scale… Nobody expects her, she just sort of appears and out of nowhere and is inexplicable and surprising- Hard to figure out, despite Luz being so upfront, honest, and wearing her heart on her sleeve, practically begging to display who she fully is without any restrictions! Had Luz never come into play, maybe Lilith really WOULD have chosen the Emperor’s Coven over Eda, when the time for that decision came- And it really recontextualizes and makes you appreciate, what Belos said about not caring for Eda… Because Eda was inconsequential, because Lilith cared more for the Emperor’s Coven than Eda; Until Luz showed up. The girl really DID change everything… And her Light showed Lilith the truth, while Belos’ Light merely blinded Lilith from it.

          It’s ironic- Luz’s arrival sort of threw a wrench into Belos’ plans because she ensured Lilith’s inevitable rebellion… But her arrival ALSO illuminated to Belos the existence of the Portal, which he needs for his Day of Unity. It is worth noting that Eda still had the portal beforehand, and thus Belos could’ve learned of it even without Luz’s arrival… So in a way, one could argue that what Luz has REALLY done has been is do nothing but hinder and be a thorn in Belos’ side. In the end her arrival wasn’t that great of a thing for Belos like he claimed; Eda still had the portal and he might’ve figured it out beforehand. Luz provides no benefit to his sytem, nothing he can make use of- Like Belos insists making use of every witch in the isles by forcing them to join a Coven to pragmatically channel their skills, or how he dismisses the ‘useless’ as inconsequential to him.

          Luz very much provides no genuine use to Belos- And yet unlike so many others, she WILL be very relevant to his life, whether he likes it or not. And really, a lot of people ‘useless’ to Belos were relevant… He just couldn’t tell, until Luz’s illuminating Light has come into play, and shown him just how disgruntled the people of the Boiling Isles are, hence their protest at the Conformatorium. And THAT revelation forces Belos to actually appease the will of the people for once, even if he does have bigger fish to fry and is just saving face. Belos dismissed a LOT of people in the end, and ironically Luz, who he sees as more useful to him than she really is- She’s going to force Belos to take others into account for once. Really, Belos overstating the importance of some at the expense of the rest is what he’s always done, hence him establishing a hierarchy that claims some witches deserve the privilege of magic, more than others; And we again see this reflected in how Lilith plays up how much she means to Eda. And Lilith DID mean a lot to Eda; Just not so much that Eda would have to disregard herself and who she is. Lilith respecting this autonomy and allowing Eda to love her, while still being her own person, is so important for her.