#but i still feel like being autistic is holding me back

[abbaswift]

being a young autistic adult is just watching everyone your age move on and achieve things and reach milestones you may never reach

[no1ryomafan]

Yknow one thing I hate to do is compare mechas given they’re all pretty different even putting the clear influence a lot have on each other aside and I don’t like the idea that I’ve seen a lot of mecha fans subscribe to where “if you like this one show you HAVE to like these other ones” but this is less of a comparison thing especially because I’m not petty or anything since it’s just something I thought about:

Mazinger v Getter when it comes to their recognition tends to boggle my mind a bit. Since it feels like there are more dedicated Getter fans around that talk about it than Mazinger fans, but Mazinger is more recognizable to the point it gets more funded stuff than Getter.

I was thinking about this when I was watching Mazinkaiser, and I can’t confirm this but I found it interesting that it almost (felt) like this ova spawned out of Getter making a comeback before Mazinger did, since Armageddon came before and was massive hit, than was followed up with a game + shin vs neo by the time Mazinkaiser was made. Like they even got Armas art director to work on it and the studio doing it was Brains Base who made the getter OVAs.

And in terms of recently all the stuff with Grendizer, which I know was SUPPOSED to get another an anime way before this, is now finally getting something coincidentally after Getter Robo Arc. And everyone is already pointing out between the two Grendizer looks waaay better then Arc so it’s clear it has more money put into it, yet I wonder if Arc didn’t happen if they would bother to touch Grendizer since Arc was them also finally giving the Getter team who NEVER got to be in a anime- well, a anime. And now the most neglected pilot apart of Mazingers universe is getting his own show.

I understand why Mazinger is more known and funded since it was the first self piloted mecha and something Go Nagai, a man who arguably changed the industry a lot, made so his works are always gonna be rebooted for the sake of memory, where as Getter sorta lives in Nagai’s shadow sadly even if Ishikawa memory is respected, but I feel like almost Getter is the one to test if things will work and then they’ll see if they can do stuff with Mazinger again.

Or maybe it’s just two coincidences and we’re just going through a long coming mecha renaissance of older properties of the genre, but I’m still rotating it heavily.

[ei-mugi]

i enjoyed getting heated over something silly for fun but im just now seeing some past distress ppl had over the poll on the blog & i feel a little bad haha i dont actually have any problem with ii or its fans like ive said i was one myself in the past

[teethcore]

i'm getting tired of realizing that xyz situation was traumatic.

[kyahcomic]

[0o-junebug-o0]

could you possibly write a smut where its spencer and autistic!f!reader’s first time? reader has a hard time relaxing and being present in their body, and is really nervous but spence is so gentle and understanding and they take it slow. it’s so mushy and tender it’s almost sick how in love those idiots are!!!!

First Time

Here you go!!! I had a lot of fun writing this one haha

genre: fluff and smut

cw: 18+ mdni! kinda fem! kinda gn!reader (reader's gender is not specified but is described as having afab anatomy, including having breasts and wearing bra), nervous reader, first times, crying during sex, fingering (r!receiving), protected p in v sex, no use of y/n, autistic!reader, autistic!spencer (because every spencer is autistic!spencer), cuddling, they're just so in love

wordcount: 2.2k

Your whole body feels fuzzy. Not in a bad way. It’s just weird. 

“Hey, come back to me,” Spencer mutters, cupping your face and rubbing his thumb over your cheek.

“Hmm?” You blink a couple of times and focus your attention back on him. You’re both sitting on the edge of your bed, Spencer had suggested that the familiar location might help you feel less nervous. You’re both still fully clothed.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want you,” Spencer says softly. He shifts away slightly and lowers his hand like he’s trying to give you the space to tell him what you’re thinking.

“No, I—I want to,” you insist. You lower your gaze to your lap and run your hands over your thighs, picking at the hem of your shorts. “I’m just—“ You pause for a moment trying to find the best way to describe your feelings. “I think I’m nervous. Yes. I’m nervous.” You look back up at him to gauge his reaction.

Spencer smiles sweetly at you and holds out his hand. You take it and squeeze. He squeezes back and you feel more settled in your body, more at ease. “Nervous is okay,” he says. “Nervous is normal. But I don’t want you to make yourself feel bad for my sake.”

You shake your head and smile at him in a way you hope is reassuring. “I’m not. I don’t feel bad. Just fuzzy. Nervous fuzzy.”

Spencer chuckles. “I love you, you know that?”

Your smile grows and you nod. “I love you too.”

Spencer’s eyes dart from your own to your lips. “Can I kiss you again?”

You nod and climb farther onto the bed, pressing your free hand to the back of his neck and pulling him toward you. The kiss is soft and sweet and you’re both smiling into it in a way that makes your teeth knock together every so often. 

Spencer rests the hand not holding yours on your hip and gently, leaving you room not to follow, pulls you into his lap. You can feel how hard he is beneath you and your whole body feels like it’s on fire. The kiss increases in intensity and you remove your hand from his to curl it into his hair.

Spencer gasps weakly into your mouth and brings his other hand to your hip as well. He toys with the hem of your shirt, his fingertips brushing lightly against the skin of your waist and stomach in a way that would otherwise be ticklish but right now just electricity shooting through your body.

He pulls away, panting heavily. “C-can I take your shirt off, honey?”

The fuzziness returns and you pause for a moment before nodding. “Only if yours comes off too.”

Spencer smiles and presses a brief kiss to your lips. “Of course.”

His hands slip under your shirt and he slowly starts to push it up. His hands leave trails of heat that shoot straight between your legs as they glide up across your body. The feeling is so wonderful and overwhelming you have to brace your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. His hands glide over your chest and you can’t help but arch into his touch.

He chuckles and passes his thumbs over your nipples a couple of times through your bra until your head bows forward and you’re gasping. 

He finally pulls the shirt over your head and guides it off of your arms before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss right below your ear. “So sensitive,” he whispers, unclasping your bra and carefully removing it, discarding it along with your shirt. 

You nod, too overwhelmed to respond in any other way. You tug on his shirt in a way that makes Spencer laugh, and he quickly removes it. You take in his bare chest for a moment, running your hands up and down it. He’s beautiful. You’ve seen him shirtless before but this feels completely different. 

“You’re so pretty,” you mutter.

Spencer smiles and softly says. “Thank you, baby. So are you.” He leans in to kiss you again with a soft intensity, gently cupping the back of your head. As you kiss, he slowly guides you down until you’re lying on the bed with your head resting on the pillows and he’s kneeling between your legs, propping himself up on one arm.

He breaks the kiss and your heart feels like it’s about to beat out of your chest as you look up at him. And heat pools between your legs when you glance down and notice how hard he is. 

His hands slowly glide down your sides until they reach the hem of your shorts and suddenly the fuzzy feeling is back. Spencer cocks his head slightly and rubs gentle circles into your hips. “You okay?” he asks softly.

You nod, but there must be some expression on your face because Spencer asks, “Nervous?”

You feel your cheeks warm in embarrassment. You nod and mutter a quick, “Sorry.”

“Hey, hey, there’s nothing to be sorry about, okay?” Spencer says. “Nothing at all. Being nervous is completely normal. And everything we do is at your pace. I just want you to feel good.”

You nod, chewing on the inside of your cheek.

Spencer lifts a hand from your hip to cup your face. “We really don’t have to do this. We can stop here. I won’t be upset.”

You shake your head. “I want to keep going. I–I want to feel you.”

A little groan escapes Spencer’s lips. “Fuck, baby, you can’t just say that. You’re going to drive me crazy.”

You bring your hands up to grip his waist with a laugh. “Isn’t that my job?”

Spencer leans down to press a kiss to the valley between your breasts, making you gasp. “And you’re very good at it.”

He slowly kisses lower and lower as you writhe beneath him until he reaches your shorts. He carefully hooks his fingers under the waistband and looks up at you in a way that sends heat pooling between your legs and you realize you desperately want him to touch you. “Can I take these off?” he asks softly.

You nod frantically and lift your hips with an eagerness that makes Spencer chuckle. 

“Just shorts? Or shorts and underwear?”

“B–both, please,” you gasp.

Spencer smiles and moves from between your legs to sit beside you and slowly slides your shorts and underwear off. He tosses them to the side and, gripping your upper thigh with one hand, presses a series of gentle kisses to your stomach and hips that make you squirm and pant. Your hands shoot up to curl into his hair and you can feel your arousal sticking to your thighs. “You’re so beautiful,” he mutters between kisses. “I’m so lucky I get to see you like this. I’m so lucky.”

His kisses move slightly lower and his hand slightly higher and you moan, your hips bucking involuntarily. 

“Sp–Spencer,” you gasp and he pulls away with a smile.

“Yes?”

“Pl–please. Wa-wanna feel you.”

He moves up to press a brief kiss to your lips and pulls a condom from his pocket before pushing his pants and boxers down his legs with one motion and kicking them aside. You can’t help but stare at his cock as he rolls the condom onto it. He’s what you assume is an average size for his height but you can’t help the nervousness that starts to make a reappearance. That’s going to go inside you? 

“Spence–” you start, though you’re unsure of what to say.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he says kindly as he climbs back between your legs, sensing your anxiety. “I know it can be intimidating, but don’t worry, I’m not going to just put it inside you, alright?”

You nod, feeling relieved and still a bit nervous, but incredibly turned on.

“Can I touch you, sweetheart? Spencer whispers, his hands mere inches away from where you want him.

You nod again and then a moan rips from your chest as Spencer’s thumb presses against your clit and starts to rub gentle circles into it. Your whole body feels fuzzy again but you’re not nervous anymore, you feel amazing. It’s like the pleasure is frying your brain.

You gasp and moan as Spencer’s thumb works over your clit. His other hand presses a gentle and grounding grip into your thigh that somehow heightens the pleasure you’re feeling. With the hand on your thigh, he guides your legs apart and the movement of his thumb stops. You whine in disappointment at the loss of sensation but then you feel the tip of his finger pressing ever so slightly inside of you. Your eyes slip shut from the pleasure and you moan loudly.

“This okay?” Spencer asks, his arousal apparent in his voice. 

You nod without opening your eyes and Spencer’s finger slips the rest of the way inside of you. It’s a strange but wonderful sensation that has you gasping for air between moans. His finger curls slightly, pressing against different spots inside of you, and then suddenly a wave of pleasure slams into you, making you cry out. 

“There it is,” Spencer mutters to himself, pressing his finger into that spot over and over again. You’re so overwhelmed with pleasure you barely notice when he slips a second and then a third finger inside of you. 

But then his fingers are pulling out of you and you whine in disapproval. You open your eyes and stare up at him with a pout.

“Shh, i-it’s okay, baby,” he murmurs, his voice cracking slightly with pleasure as he gently strokes his cock. “You think you’re ready?”

You nod frantically, desperate to feel him inside of you, and hold out your hand. Spencer smiles at you and laces his fingers with yours before lining himself up and gently pressing inside of you with a moan.

Though you expected it, you still gasp at the sudden and ever so slightly painful stretch, and grip Spencer’s hand tightly. He pauses only halfway inside of you to allow you time to adjust. It doesn’t take long for you to get used to the sensation and you wrap your legs around Spencer’s waist and pull him closer until he’s all the way inside you.

Spencer’s head hangs forward as he pants and you admire just how beautiful he looks like this. 

“C-can I move?” he gasps weakly.

You nod and Spencer pulls his hips back slightly before rocking them back forward.

You moan in tandem at the feeling and your eyes slip shut. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced and he isn’t even hitting that spot he’d found with his fingers. With every thrust of his hips, Spencer adjusts the angle until he’s once again hitting that spot that makes you see stars. Each movement of his hips has you gasping and writhing and you feel an overwhelming surge of emotions and a desire to be even closer.

You wrap your free arm around Spencer’s back and pull him down until his chest is pressed against yours, with his head buried in your neck, and you’re both holding each other. The pressure of his body against yours is soothing and grounding and helps you feel present in the amazing sensations your body is experiencing that might otherwise be overwhelming. 

Spencer gasps your name and “I love you” between moans and you cling to him as you moan in response, unable to form words. Heat climbs up your spine and you can feel yourself getting close. Tears well in your eyes and start to slip down your face but you can’t bring yourself to care because you just feel so good and so loved. The heat rises to your neck and burns in your stomach and you cum with a cry.

Spencer talks you through it but you’re too overwhelmed with pleasure to understand him. He thrusts a few more times before stilling with a moan of your name as he cums into the condom. His body goes limp against yours for a moment and the only movement is the rise and fall of both of your chests. Spencer slowly pulls out and the strange feeling makes you whine and causes more tears to slip unbidden from your eyes. He removes his hand from yours and you can hear him moving but then he goes still and whispers your name with clear concern.

You open your eyes and look at him to see a scared and almost horrified look on his face.

He reaches up with one hand, setting the tied-off condom aside with the other, and cups your cheek. He wipes away a tear with his thumb. 

“A-are you alright? Di-did I hurt you?” he asks gently. He looks so worried.

You immediately shake your head. “Good tears,” you mutter. “Happy tears.”

“Oh, thank God,” Spencer whispers, letting out a relieved sigh. He lies down beside you and pulls you into his chest, pressing a brief kiss to your head. “You worried me there for a second.”

“Sorry.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

You smile and turn your head to look at him. You cup the back of his head and kiss him softly. “I’m very okay,” you mutter against his lips. 

Spencer kisses you back for a moment before pulling away and pressing his forehead against yours. 

“That was amazing,” you whisper. “I love you.”

Spencer smiles. “I love you too.”

_____

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[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[time-woods]

these are the works of a mad man- these 2 literally make me feel insane evrytime i draw them- anyways i am now going to share my autism analysis of the 2 of them 

I feel the need to shout this from the rooftops but- Kim is most definitely a low empathy autistic with high emotional understanding/awareness !! Like- he doesn’t pick up on cues but he still can figure out emotional tones of certain situations!!(has a bit of a hard time expressing tone/ emotion through actions and expressions so he typically uses his words instead) And he has no internal dialog!! Along with not being able to picture things in his mind!! (aphantasia) (that part is pretty much cannon he practically says it))  always needs to be doing something with his hands- can’t just have them by his side,(too open, too vulnerable- yes this is the fight or flight in me speaking) is either holding his hands in front of himself or behind his back, or writing in his notebook, along with checking the time on his watch or fiddling with it. Looks down when walking most of the time (esp on a scene) but it’s just become a general habit- forgets he has to make eye contact- typically more invested in writing down whatever he’s realized in his notes to care (he is so me)

 And Harry is the opposite in that department- (how I play his character at least) high empathy autistic- good intentions but can read the mood wrong at times! Very outwardly expressive- Gots a whole narrator in his head I also think he’s got a pretty good imagination. This mf can’t stand still to safe his life on god he’s got to b moving every 5 seconds in order to not catch on fire. also most likely has maladaptive daydreaming? a bit upsetting but god does it work well for his whole character. Mf is constantly stretching- probably has extremely tensed muscles, shoulders n stuff (th stress). This bich would and probably has apologized or cursed out a chair for accidentally bumping into it. Eye contact is a no go- mostly cause he’s looking around the room already moving on to the next thing or just straight up more interested abt the thing behind you to care about maintaining eye contact

(I heart viewing characters through an autistic lens and either projecting or scrutinizing every single one of their mannerisms)

[purpleyoonn]

The Line Between Love and War 12

C H A P T E R 1 2: PTD D1 AND OVERSTIMULATION

“It is said that the night sky is made up of tiny wishes that humans were never able to fulfill. That the stars only became bright by the fulfillment of those wishes. In your eyes, the stars that shine never seemed real, your childhood wishes dark and dim as you grow. But now, now you understand the twinkle in their eyes as they look down at you.”

Summary: Your experiences told you that soulmates were something you would never have the pleasure of having; something not given to you because of who you are, despite the soulmark that resides on your inner left wrist. During your solo trip to Los Angeles, you find out that you are more than capable, that your soulmates had been waiting for you for a long time, and would not be letting you go anytime soon.

Genre: soulmate au, bts au, idol bts, polyamory relationship, eventual smut

Paring: Idol!BTS x autistic!mc

Status: Ongoing (randomly updated)

Warnings: mental illness, talk of disability, lots of angst, miscommunication, feelings of depression, feelings of isolation, polyamory bts, stalking, dangerous behavior, eventual smut, 

Chapter Warnings: the concert, overstimulation, shut downs, not much, lots of feelings,

Taglist: @azazel-nyx​​​  @yuzon3​​​ @hannahdinse8​​​ @quirkybtsarmy​​​ @mageprincess7​​​  @fluffy-canada-pancakes​​​ @suckerforv​​​ @chaoticthingpizza​​​ @drissteele​​​ @carolinexkpop​​​ @avadakadabra93​​​ @lachimolala22019​​​  @justaweird0​​​ @singukieee​​​  @welcometomyworld13​​​ @toughbook​​​ @kimana122​​​ @kpopmultistantrashsstuff​​​ @0funsite0​​ @joyless-living​​ @sinceritythatcouldntbedelivered​ @elliott-calls​​ @psychosupernatural​​

Masterlist // Chapter 11 // Chapter 13

————————————————–

Previously on The Line Between Love and War:

“Alright then. We well let Sejin and Seungho know. For now, I would appreciate if I could have some pre-concert kisses from my littlest mate.” Namjoon reached his arms out, pouting his lip a little knowing it would cause you to laugh at him. 

You struggle to get yourself out of Hobi and Taehyung’s embrace, who noticeably tightened their grip once Namjoon opened his arms. 

“Heyyyy, not nice!” You whine, finally pulling yourself away and falling into Namjoon’s arms. 

“But we want pre-concert kisses too!” Taehyung whined back, making you laugh again, hiding your face in Namjoon’s neck.

You could already hear Army beginning to enter the arena, voices and screams echoing as the pre-concert videos started to play on the big screens. Taehyung was sitting with you, having finished getting ready first. He was in the middle of making sure you were okay being in the security gates in front of everyone else. He knew how loud noises made you feel. 

“Don’t worry Tae! I’ve got the headphones that Yoongi gave me.” You smiled wide at him, hoping that would reassure your stressed-looking mate. It didn’t reassure him at all though. He opened his mouth to say something else but was cut off by Seungho.

“Come on, Y/n. We need to get you to your seat before the boys start.” Seungho gives Taehyung an apologetic glance and nod before he starts to lead you out of the room. But before you can leave, you turn around and quickly give each of the boys a hug, not wanting to kiss them in case it ruins the make up the make-up artists spent so long on. 

“Good luck! I’m so excited!” You tell the last part to Seungho as you hold your hands up to your chest, your fists shaking in excitement. 

You went from traveling about a week early to experience Los Angeles by yourself because you couldn’t get any tickets to now having seven soulmates and being able to attend not just one, but all four of the PTD La concerts. Your entire life literally changed at the blink of any eye, or well, more like running into a wall. 

“This is your first concert, correct?” Seungho asked you, not remembering if you’ve attended anything before. 

“Yes!” You exclaimed back, your fists still shaking as you make it to the stairs that will get you to the ground floor and into the security gates in front of the stage. There was a good maybe ten feet between the security gates for the floor seats and the stage where the boys would be performing.

Hobi explained it to you that you would have a seat in the section right in front of the edge of the stage, and that it wouldn’t be close to the floor seats where Army is seated. 

They were worried to say the least. While they loved Army, and trusted them with you, they also knew there were some “fans” who were not happy that they found their last soulmate, and that it wasn’t any of them. They wanted you to be safe, which was why they wanted you up with their family in the box. Obviously, due to your fear of heights, they had to figure something else out, wanting you to experience their concert like an Army. 

Seungho escorts you to the seat set aside but you don’t sit down, to excited and pumped up. You stood watching the stage, taking everything in. It seemed way different than it did earlier before sound check. The entire atmosphere was different. You could feel the energy and excitement of every single Army coming in and finding their seats. Some even running down to the 100’s section. 

What caught your eye though was the people who had soundcheck coming back down to the floor section, all running towards you. You startled, Seungho moving directly in front of you once he caught the movement of the crowd. You held onto his arm before letting go just as quickly, not knowing if he was comfortable with your touch. 

Despite your aversion to touch, you felt safe with him; you just didn’t know if he also had an aversion to touch and you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. 

However, a single, subtle nod from him let you know your actions were okay, holding onto his arm again as you try to peak over or around his broad shoulders to see the group of Armies still running your way. You didn’t know if it was because you were directly in front of the stage or what, but seeing a group of men and women running towards you scared the crap out of you.

Now you understand how celebrities feel when fans spot them out and about, without security with them. 

“Stay behind me please, Y/n.” Seungho told you, feeling you trying to peek around him. He had a feeling they were rushing for you, trying to get close to the barrier in front of you. He had been watching your social media, following the discussions and posts about you. You were well liked by a lot of people, and also not so liked by some. He didn’t know which it was coming for you tonight, and he didn’t like it. 

You could hear your name being called; pictures being taken of you. It was weird and seemed a bit unreal, just like earlier when you did the Instagram live. You could feel some other members of the boys’ security team moving to help Seungho.

“Seungho, I think they are just excited. I don’t think they’ll hurt me. I have you to help protect me. Plus, there is about five feet between my seat and the barrier.” You were not going to lie, you were freaking out. But you didn’t want Seungho or the boys to have to worry about you the entire time, and if Seungho continued to try and hide you from Army, you knew that would happen. 

He looked back at you, and seeing how serious you were, only moved a couple inches to the left, still in front of you but not necessarily hiding you. Taking a deep breath, and trying to hide your nervous stimming, you looked at Army. 

“Hi guys! Please enjoy the concert! The boys have worked super hard and are so excited to see you guys again.” You spoke loudly, not wanting to yell in Seungho’s ears as he still stood close. 

“Y/n! What song are you excited for?”

“Y/n! Have you completed the bond yet?”

“Who is your bias?”

You ignored the second question, and the others like it that were being yelled your way, instead, you tried to answer some of the questions, but didn’t want to make the night about yourself. This night was about the boys, not you. 

“Please guys, the concert is about to start!” You decided to move back to your seat and not stand in front of the barrier anymore. 

You were now actively stimming, your body trying to help you feel more comfortable with the attention and new experiences. Your fists were clenched in front of you, shaking fast back and forth. It was a stim you’ve been doing since you were a kid, something you did when you got really excited or happy. You tried not to, despite how much you needed to, because you always felt embarrassed when doing that particular stim. You had been made fun of before for doing it, so instead you rocked your body forwards and backwards slowly. 

It took a couple more minutes before you could hear the intro starting, music slowly becoming louder until the boys came on stage from below. It also took the same amount of time for you to become completely overwhelmed and overstimulated. Despite your headphones, the music was loud and seemed to be louder than the screams behind you. The lights were flashing and the movement of the boys on stage had you practically shutting down. The stares you could feel on your back didn’t help, either.

You tried hard not to though, even though you know you needed it. Your boys needed this more. This was the first concert for them since the pandemic started and the went into the army. You knew they were happy being back on stage after so long and didn’t want to ruin anything for them. You wanted them to see you happy and not having any issues. You didn’t want them to worry. 

You could feel the sting from your nails digging into your palm as you clenched your hands. Your voice gone as you tried to show some kind of emotion resembling happiness or awe on your face. You didn’t need Seungho trying to bring you back into the dressing room and alerting everyone that something was wrong. 

So, you spent the rest of the concert rocking back and forth and mouthing along to all the songs the boys sang. Your nails were practically stuck in your palm and you were stuck in your head. You could tell the cord connecting your mouth and brain wasn’t connected anymore and didn’t know when it would again.

You just wanted Jungkook to hold you and rub your back again but figured you probably wouldn’t get that tonight. They would probably be too pumped up with adrenal after the concert to do anything other than want to celebrate with army like normal. 

You could probably get away with cuddling up to Yoongi’s sweatshirt again as you laid in your shared bed. You didn’t want to bother them when they shared this excitement and happiness with army after so long. The last thing you wanted was to be a burden. 

-*-*-

Despite being completely overstimulated, you thought the concert was amazing. You don’t think you would go to one again, but you could see why so many people always praised your soulmates��� concerts and performance skills. 

You waited in the dressing room as the last notes of the last song play out throughout the stadium speakers. Seungho had thought it a safety issue to exit with the rest of army to try and make it backstage. So, he had taken you back during the second to last song. 

You still haven’t spoken a word, and Seungho could tell something was wrong. Your facial expression was vacant and it seemed as though your eyes were glazed over as you stared down at the small table in front of you. He was worried. 

You almost didn’t notice the arrival of your soulmates, mind gone to the stimulation you felt. 

“Hey baby! Did you have fun?” Jin came up and sat next to you on the loveseat, securing the spot next to you before anyone else. It was a couple of hours until his birthday and he was feeling the excitement of having his birthday with his finally complete soulbond group. 

But once he saw you, zoned out and not even registering their entrance, he had a feeling of what was going on. He was reminded of the closet incidence, your wide eyes glazed and unable to track what was going on. He moved in front of you, kneeling down so he could catch your eye. 

“Baby?” Jin tried, but you were gone. He now had the attention of the others, and Taehyung and Yoongi made it over first. 

“What should we do? Should we hold her like last time?” Taehyung asked, remembering how Jungkook held you in his arms and how the physical contact helped bring you back. 

“Here, let me try something.” Namjoon took control, switching places with Jin who now sat back next to you. Their movement didn’t phase you, your eyes still glazed over. 

Namjoon moved slowly, just in case you came back to, and moved so his palm was cupping your cheek. At his touch, your eyes became focused again and he could see how truly tired you were. 

“Hi baby girl. Are you okay?” He knew you weren’t but he still needed to know if something was physically wrong, and you seemed to know his intention as you shook your head no. At this response, they all knew you were nonverbal; Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung all watching from the back as their hyungs take over the situation. 

“How about we go back to the hotel, and have a relaxing night, hmm?” Namjoon asks but stops as you shake your head, grabbing tightly to his forearm. His face scrunched up in concern, wondering what was going on through your head. 

You swallow your spit, trying your hardest to push words through your lips, only for them to keep getting caught in the back of your throat. Finally, you manage to push through one word, hoping they understand what you mean. 

“Celebrate.” You word is raspy, as if you had a bad cold recently. 

They had just gotten back from the military only months ago, managed to plan two weekends worth of content and concerts for Army, and as only a fan could know, they usually celebrated the concert afterwards with a live. You didn’t want that taken away from Army, and you didn’t want the boys to break a tradition just because you got overstimulated. It didn’t seem fair in any way. 

You would be fine; you always were before. Yeah, it might take time, but you would be fine. 

Army needed the boys more than you right now. 

“What do you mean baby?” Jimin asked from behind Hobi, eyes narrowed in confusion as he watches your expression. 

You knew you couldn’t push out another word, so you grabbed Namjoon’s palm from your cheek and held it flat in front of you, using your pointer finger you traced the word Army on his palm, hoping he would get it. You even trace it in Hangul when he didn’t get it in English. 

“You want us to celebrate with Army?” Namjoon finally realizes what you were trying to say, nodding his head as it clicks. 

You nod your head in response but stop once you see the look on your soulmates faces. You could tell they didn’t understand why you were asking them that. Why you wanted them to celebrate with army even when you weren’t doing good. 

So, you pull out the big guns, something Jimin taught you when Jin kept telling you no more ice cream. Jimin said it would bring out an immediate ‘yes’ from the hyungs every time, so you tried it.

You pulled out the puppy dog eyes and the lip pout. 

An immediate round of groans sounded throughout the room, every single one of your soulmates looked away from you, trying not to be drawn in by your expression. 

To seal the deal, you brought your hands together, folded in a way that everyone usually added with pleading words, but you couldn’t speak right now, so you held your clenched hands up close to your face. 

Eventually, Jin was the one who folded. 

“Alright baby! But we have some conditions.” He raised an eyebrow at you as you turned to face him. 

“We’ll do the live as long as you are there with us, so we can see you and make sure you’re okay. You’re going to drink some water, and let one of us hold you until the live, because that helped you a lot last time.” You knew they were talking about the last time you got too overstimulated, so you agreed. 

Maybe selfishly, though, you agreed to the terms. You kind of just wanted to be cocooned in like a little safety nest as you watched the boys do their live, maybe covered in one of their shirts or sweaters again. They always made you feel safe and comfortable and were slowly becoming a part of your collection of safe clothing. 

“Okay, boys, lets grab our things so we can get back to the hotel. Namjoon, why don’t you grab out little soulmate and go get into the car, we’ll grab your things.” Jin clapped his hands together after moving the night along, wanting to get back to the hotel. 

It didn’t take but a couple seconds for Namjoon to pick you up, his hands moving under your thighs and holding you to him so you were chest to chest. 

“Come here baby. Let’s go.” You looked around for your backpack, only to see Seungho handing it off to Jungkook who had deemed your backpack his responsibility. You can’t fight him for carrying you this time, exhaustion finally hitting you as you tuck your head into the curve of your soulmate’s neck. 

It was a good thing too, as you didn’t realize some fans had figured out where the boys’ vans were and had been waiting outside for you all to leave, phones at the ready to take pictures and videos. This also meant that it would take longer to get back to the hotel, as some fans loved trying to follow the boys to figure out where you all were staying. 

One of Namjoon’s hands moved from your holding your thigh to covering your face, protecting you in what he considers a vulnerable moment. He walked faster, Sejin moving with him so he could open the door for you both before having a word with one of the drivers. 

Even as you get into the car, and Namjoon’s sits down, he still holds you on his lap, crossing his arms behind your back so you were practically glued to his chest. He moved his left hand lower, almost touching your butt as he moves his hand under your shirt, making contact with your back and begins rubbing his hand up and down your back. He knew this helped you last time and it was one of the only things he had to go on right now as far as helping you out of your shut down. 

You both wait patiently for your other soulmates, time passing slowly as you turn your head and watch fans take pictures of the van. You knew they couldn’t get pictures of you through the tinted windows, but you still felt a little vulnerable. You were unable to protect yourself in anyway, nonverbal and in the middle of a shutdown, and it was a little daunting. 

You turned your head back into Namjoon’s neck, your head resting against his chest as you watch the boys all begin to make their way quickly to the vans. Jungkook, Hobi, and Yoongi made their way into your van, while the others went into the first one. 

“Okay, so Sejin is going to separate our vans, each going a separate way to make it back to the hotel so we aren’t followed. We also have three deco vans waiting to draw confusion.” Yoongi’s voice was raspy and slow from the concert and his own emotions. 

He, along with the others were feeling a lot of emotions from finally being able to perform at a concert for Army, but also watching you shut down from the very same concert. It was a lot. 

“How is she?” Jungkook asks quietly. 

Out of all your soulmates, Jungkook seems to have taken on most of the responsibility for your care and well-being on himself. He finally has a soulmate younger than him, that can rely on him and that he can provide for. So, for him, he has put the responsibility on his own shoulders, something his soulmates have already talked to him about. 

“I’m okay.” 

You were. You had just been relishing in Namjoon’s touch and had felt the connection build again between your brain and mouth. You still weren’t used to being taken care of, to mean something to other people, and you knew it would take a while but you loved the way they worried about you, the way they cared for you. 

It was the same way you cared for them. 

-*-*-

It had taken you over an hour to make it back to the hotel. There had been several vehicles trying to follow you, the final car getting lost at a traffic light about fifteen minutes ago. To be safe, the driver kept driving around. 

Your van had been the last to make it back to the hotel, and when you go to the room, a small bundle of blankets and pillows, along with some of the boys’ sweaters had been made into a little nest for you by the far wall close to the kitchen. You were in perfect view of the boys as the couches and chairs had been rearranged so they could all be in view of the camera. 

When Namjoon let you down, a bundle of clothes had been shoved into your hand as Jimin led you to your shared room with Yoongi and Jin to change. Jimin walked into the bathroom while you changed into a pair of your comfy leggings and one of Taehyung’s shirts. 

After doing your skincare for you, wanting you to feel nice and clean while you waited for them to be finished, Jimin helped you back into the living room and into your small nest, bundling Jin and Jungkook’s sweater around you while you watched the boys set up snacks and drinks on the coffee table. 

“Okay, now, don’t move.” Jimin pointed his finger at you, his face scrunching playfully as he tries to make you smile. And it works, a small giggle making its way out of your mouth catching the attention of your soulmates. 

“Here,” he pulls your phone out of his back pocket, pulling up the live on it before handing it to you. “Keep an eye out for questions you think we should answer, okay baby?” He asks you, wanting you to still be involved in their tradition with Army. While he would rather you be seated with them on the couch, he knows it’s not what you need right now. 

 “I will, Minnie.” You nod and smile tiredly at his request. He smiles back, kissing you softly before pulling back entirely, Jungkook taking his place with a bottle of water for you. He stays quiet, kissing your forehead before moving to sit with Hobi and Joon on the couch. 

You watch them as the live starts, hundreds of questions showing up on the screen as thousands of viewers turn into millions. At first a lot of the questions are about you, why Namjoon was seen carrying you out of the venue and some were even asking why you stayed seated the entire concert. 

The boys said a simple response to questions about you. They agreed that they wanted to stop the rumors of any health issues or problems while they could, especially after Namjoon was seen carrying you out. 

“Y/n is doing okay and is resting here with us after a long and overstimulating day. She had a lot of new experiences and is in the middle of processing them.” Namjoon spoke in his leader voice, glancing at you for a few seconds as he speaks. 

The questions and comments continue, but this time mainly about the boys and the concerts and their upcoming plans. You even commented a few things, trying to remember what it felt like to be Army, commenting “I love you” and hoping they would see it. 

You did that the entire time, finding cute little comments and even yelling out “Yoongi Marry Me” every time you saw it which did not amuse your cute soulmate who only looked your way while the others laughed every time. You also drank your entire bottled water, knowing that was one of the promises you made to Jin. 

And in the end, once the live was finished, he was the first to go to you, picking you up out of your little nest and into his arms. You were feeling a lot better, no longer overstimulated due to your soulmates care. 

“How are you feeling, baby?” You could hear the concern in his voice. 

“I’m doing a lot better! You all always seem to know what to do.” You hug him tightly, kissing his jaw in a show of thanks. 

“Well, I bought tickets for an amusement park for tonight for us. Do you think you might be up for it?” Jin couldn’t even finish his question before you were squealing in his ear, jumping from his hold and rushing to your shared room. 

“I guess that is a yes.” He told Yoongi and Taehyung who were staring at Jin, seeing the entire thing before walking off to the room. 

Jimin and Jungkook were already in the room, helping you pick out a matching outfit with Jin, who was going in a pair of his overalls and a white shirt. He wanted you all to match, but you and Jimin were the only ones who currently had a pair of overalls to wear. 

You were excited, jumping in your seat as you waited for everyone else to get ready to go. You loved the rides and playing the games but you think your favorite was the food. You never really went to the fair often, which was as close to an amusement park as you had gotten, your mother thinking going to a big field full of people of all walks of life below her standing. 

But you loved it and couldn’t wait to experience it with your soulmates. 

[molotovmetro]

The 141 + König with a s/o who goes non-verbal

Tiny disclaimer: im autistic and have moments of being non verbal during breakdowns etc, so this is based mostly off of my own experience, but if anyone feels like ive said inaccurate or offensive things, please let me know as that would never be my intention. The way I've written this suggests this is a negative feeling (, since thats how i experience it) but I understand that might not be the same for everyone. For some people this might just be a daily or

Requested by @apocalypticseagull

Warnings: mentions of stress and the slightest hint at possible injury, besides that nothing I can think of

M!reader

Ghost

Ghost relates to you. While he wouldn't claim his experience is the same, he gets moments of overstimulation where he wants everyone to leave him alone, and will just stop reacting to people.

When he feels like this, he prefers to sit in his room, either completely in the dark or with only a small lamp on, and have as little noise around him as possible.

If you're in a stress situation, not knowing what else to do to help you, that's what he'll resort to.

He'll take you into either his room or yours, whichever you would prefer, and holds you while letting you get away from all the triggers for a bit. Unless you're dealing with life or death situations, whatever work you have left for the day can wait. Your wellbeing always comes first.

Soap

Soap is a lot more observant than people give him credit for. He's the king of avoiding stressful situations for you whenever he can.

But alas, he can't avoid it every time. Whether you start saying less and less as the minutes go on, or just stop talking suddenly, he notices immediately.

Not that he'd be quick to admit it, but he's got a written list of everything you like, even if it's just something you mentioned in passing. He absutely will use this list to do whatever he can to make you smile and relieve some of your stress.

He'll make sure to find a way to still communicate that both of you are comfortable with. He'll happily lend you his journal to write in, or he'll ask Roach for some lessons in sign language. He'd break his back bending over backwards to make you comfortable if he had to.

Gaz

No matter how often it happens, Gaz still feels a jolt of panic whenever you don't respond over coms when you're on a mission. He almost sags in relief as soon as he hears you hum, or even just hears the crackly static of you pushing your radio's button.

He knows you're a talented soldier and you're more than capable of handling yourself, he still prefers to be near you at all times. What if something happens and you can't tell him? You could be in trouble without him even knowing. He'll, just knowing you're stressed is making him want to reach for you.

He likes his job, likes helping people and ridding the world of danger, but his favourite part of every mission is when you're sitting in the exfil helo after a good mission, and you give him that wide smile he's been waiting hours, if not days to see.

Price

You and Price have been working together for so long, you both know the drill. When he starts to notice you going quiet, he makes sure he only asks yes or no questions. On your side; one click of your radio button for no, two for yes. Throw in some improvised morse code when necessary, and you've got a solid communications system.

Having this system is also a huge bonus during stealth missions, when he can't talk freely without risking being spotted.

He loves hearing your voice, but he doesn't treat you any differently when you can't talk. He'll support you in whatever way you need, without making it feel like he's babying you.

The two of you are a well oiled machine. No matter how stressful the situation, usually you can tell what the other one is thinking just by looking at them. You know you both have each other's back, verbal communication or not.

König

König doesn't mean to make a big deal out of it, and he won't if you don't, but he does worry.

After a situation like that happens once, he commits everything that helps you to his memory, and uses the knowledge to help you the next time it happens.

Even down to the tiniest detail, he'll remember. If you don't like a certain texture or can only stand a certain flavour of drink during moments like this, he's making sure you have everything you need and are as comfortable as possible. Whatever is stressing you will be dealt with by him while you're resting and calming down.

If you want to be alone, he understands and respects that, and gives you the space you need. But if you don't, there's nowhere he'd rather be than by your side.

[abbyromanoff]

BREAKING POINT

PAIRINGS: Natasha Romanoff x autistic!reader

WORD COUNT: 1811

WARNINGS: fluff, angst, mentions of break ups, happy ending, R has autism, stressful moments, think that’s all :)

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!

Nat’s footsteps seemed to be blocked from your ears, your mouths constant quivering being the only of the five senses that could work. You couldn’t stop picking the skin at your nails, causing blood to slowly arise from the flesh. And your fists continued to squeeze the sheets beneath you, but none of this seemed to register through your mind. No, the only recurring thought was the worry, the same worry you had been desperately trying to rid yourself of. After multiple months of therapy, psychiatry, medication, none of it worked. The only person who could help wasn’t you, it was the girl who chose you; your girlfriend.

She was your best friend, your keeper, and your lover. But she wasn’t here, not anymore. The large fight the two of you fell victim to seemed to cause your fall and the astronomical break-up. Nobody saw it coming, you two were a match made in heaven. But that didn’t seem to stop it from happening, and you found yourself desperately trying to fill the hole she left from only a week later. After the separation, Nat found herself arriving in the quinjet as she was forcibly given a mission with her heavy heart. She knew she could do it, but deep down she also knew she couldn’t; it felt like a constant battle between her sensibility and her idiotic nature.

But the entire time there was only one person on her mind: you. Not the enemies, not her teammates, not herself, but you. You always failed to leave her mind, even in times when it was not quite appropriate. She was determined to make it up to you some way or another, she knew she had to be with you again. She was hopeless without you, she didn’t know what to do with herself. But you always seemed to know, and that’s one thing she loved so dearly about you. Now that she was unable to sleep beside you, instead sleeping with the guilt of losing you, she felt lost.

“Y/N?” The voice startled you, your legs instinctively tightening against your chest for protection, your eyes only widening as you saw the woman you wished to see. But you were in her room, with her blankets, and the realization caused you to rush to your feet. You began fixing the bed but felt hands fall to your waist, causing your movements to falter before you quickly picked up from where you were.

“Y/N,” You sighed, and Nat’s frown deepened hearing the crack in your breath. She turned you effortlessly in her hold, her breathing turning ragged as she took in your expression. Your eyes were heavy from the tears and tiredness, your lip was bitten through and had dried drips of blood. Your smile was no longer visible, but she could see deep down how happy you were to be with her, you always failed to hide it.

“Look at me,” When you refused to complete her request, she spoke once more. “Please?” You sniffled before turning to look up at her, your eyes falling anywhere but in line with hers. That wasn’t unusual for you, but she still grew concerned.

“Can you tell me what’s going on?” You shrugged your shoulders, feeling as though weights were holding them down. You brought your head to the side again, but she tilted it back with a warm smile. She couldn’t truly smile seeing your saddened look, but she tried for you.

“I don’t know.” You weakly spoke, tears beginning to return to your drying cheeks as you felt your body growing in size. Your entire being felt so heavy, yet you weren’t. You were a normal, healthy size, but you felt as though you weighed ten tons.

“Do you want to sit down? Yeah, just sit, baby, you’re okay.” The nickname sent shivers down your spine, but you were unable to react, only leaning your head against her arms that found your shoulders.

“You don’t need to talk just yet, just breathe with me.” She drew circles on your skin as you watched her lips, your gaze constantly changing but she continued to praise your willingness to follow her directions. Moments later she was sat next to you, and she could tell you were now calmer than before.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You shrugged once again, and she chuckled softly. Her lips pressed onto your forehead, and her hand played with your hair while the other drew shapes across your thigh.

“Is it about us?” You shrugged.

“Is it about someone else?” You shrugged.

“Is it about work?” You shrugged.

“I just- I don’t know how to explain it.” Those were the first real words she heard you speak, and hearing your voice brought more relief than she imagined.

“Well, give it a shot and I can see if I understand.” You looked down at your fidgeting hands, a smile threatening to creep across your face as hers laid on top of yours.

“I had this really good plan, everything was all written down and memorized and I- I would’ve done everything and I would’ve been okay and I wouldn’t even have to spend time thinking about something else because I would be so busy. But then my alarm didn’t go off and I woke up late and I just felt so tired. I wanted to sleep and sleep and sleep but I knew I couldn’t, but I didn’t have any energy to get up! And then I went to grab a bowl and- and the dishes weren’t even done like I asked and my favorite cereal was gone so I didn’t know what to eat because I always eat that. And then I had training but there was this constant like, I don’t know, buzzing sound that was like a bug or something and no one but me could hear it, I felt crazy. And Steve just kept talking and talking and then I just snapped and started yelling at him, but I didn’t mean to! And I just ran out and I came in here because your blankets are really soft and they feel nicer than mine and I like to play with them but I realized I can’t be in your room once you came in and I freaked out, I didn’t know what to do.” You released a deep breath when meeting the end of your rant, your posture failing to land straight as you forced yourself not to sob. You were so close, you could feel your throat beginning to tighten, but you didn’t want to in front of Nat, not now.

“You’re always welcome in here, love.” She paused. “Can I ask you something?” You nodded, finding yourself unable to speak.

“That ‘something else’ you were trying to get your mind off of, what was it?” You continued to show a lack of response, and she could tell you weren’t going to.

“Was it me?” A small nod came from you after what felt like ages of waiting. She sighed, biting her lip and cursing to herself.

“I’m sorry, I- I know it’s not your fault-“

“No, it is. I’m so sorry, love, I’ve been so stressed lately and I didn’t know how to let it out, one thing about the Red Room is that they don’t teach you how to handle things well unless it involves fists. But that’s no excuse, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you or have let it ruin our relationship. I want to work on this, but first I want to take care of you, is that okay?” You agreed hesitantly, and she soon got to work. She knew you were too weak to bathe, so she planned to help you when you were more energized after resting. She led you to lay down on her bed, putting the blankets over you and grabbing a sweatshirt of hers. She helped you put it on before handing you the stuffed animal you loved so dearly. You had it since when you were a child, and it seemed to be your comfort on lonely and sad nights.

“Is it okay if I lay next to you?”

“Yes, please.” She giggled at your politeness and allowed herself to follow her steps. She asked Jarvis to turn down all lights and shades to create a dim room for you, you always loved having that darkness. The light often hurt your eyes and caused headaches, so she did as much as possible to belittle that.

“How about this: tomorrow afternoon, when we finish eating and training and getting in some work, we’ll take some time to help you work on an easier and less stressful schedule, yeah? And maybe we can ask your therapist if she’s willing to see the both of us for a few sessions, so we can work on anything that’s affecting our relationship. And I’ll be with you every step of the way, I promise.” She held out her pinky, causing you to instantly interlace yours with hers. She grinned, and you let your head rest on her shoulder as your arm went across her stomach. The plushie rested between you two as she left a kiss to its soft fur before kissing your lips in a slow, passionate manner.

“I’m sorry I can be a lot, Natty, I don’t mean to be.” Silence followed before the rustling of sheets was heard, causing you to lift your head while she looked down at you.

“You’re never too much for me, you’re just perfect.” You smiled softly in response.

“Nat?” She hummed, signaling for you to continue. “You’re perfect to me, too, you know.” Her lips turned upwards, and she felt her heartbeat rising as a blush ran to her face.

“I’m glad we can agree on that. Now go to bed, and when we wake up we can have a nice bath and maybe do some coloring?” It was more of a question than a statement, but she knew you’d say yes without a question.

“Can we also finish that documentary? Oh, and our puzzle! Or the Legos! And we can make cookies too, but they have to be chocolate chip.” She chuckled meaningfully, and her eyes began to close as her voice grew deeper as the tiredness from her mission began catching up to her.

“We can do whatever you want, sweetheart. Like I said, I’d do anything for you, even if it’s cookies and shows and puzzles and legos and coloring and baths.” She led on, causing your excitement to grow. You left a kiss on her cheek before bringing your body impossibly closer to her. Your warmth made her feel a sense of comfort that no one could describe as anything other than pure love.

“Sleep well, baby bear.”

“Sleep well, momma bear.”

—-

I would like to say before I receive any hate that I personally have autism myself and this is what I personally see as one of my struggles and I thought I’d write it

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Life's Pleasures (S.R.)

Summary: Spencer struggles with some side effects of his medication after prison. Request: Spencer being insecure about his weight gain post prison. Couple: Spencer Reid/GN!Reader Category: Comfort Content Warning: Weight gain, body insecurity  Word Count: 800

MASTERLIST

Spencer was a creature of habit more than he was of comfort. Call it superstition or autistic tendencies, even the slightest alteration to his routine could have catastrophic results.

Unsurprisingly, three months in prison did little to help him with those feelings. In fact, they made them much worse.

Despite the best efforts of yourself and the entire BAU, there was no question that Spencer needed help. Thanks very much to each of you, however, he had finally felt okay adding a small capsule to his daily routine.

It was nothing he was ashamed of. Unfortunately, however, that magical little concoction of neurotransmitters had a few… unintended side effects. He hadn’t said anything about it yet, but you had watched his favorite clothing got tighter until he couldn’t bear to wear it anymore.

You were acutely aware of how sensitive he would be with such a dramatic change. So, that Sunday, when you see Spencer padding out in his favorite pair of Saturday-specific sweats, you try to be kind.

“Hey handsome!” you call.

He is caught off guard enough to smile.

“What did I do to deserve you in sweats on a Sunday?”

His smile falls just as quickly. His bashfulness turns into a sadness that feels all-encompassing.

“My pants don’t fit,” he mutters as he toys with the drawstring.

“Lucky me,” you joke.

Spencer doesn’t respond like you’d hoped. In fact, he doesn’t react at all. He just stays staring at the string that is shorter than normal. He doesn’t even notice that you’re approaching him until your palms are pressed against his cheeks.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” you whisper.

He winces.

“I just…”

You give him a small reassuring smile and it stirs something in him. Some small shift out of his self-preservation instinct and back into the comfort of your embrace.

“I know I’m getting older, and stress does a lot of damage, and that can always manifest as weight gain,” he rambles.

He leaves out the medicated nature of it all, but you don’t bother to correct him. You just listen as he continues.

“But my body’s never been like this. It’s never changed like this, even during puberty,” he scoffs.

You chuckle at the sound and the image conjured up from faded scrapbook pictures.

Spencer smiles too—just for a second—before he remembers that he is sad.

“It’s just… it’s happening so… fast,” he says like a whimper.

After a moment, you shrug. He seems almost offended by the motion until you explain.

“That’s okay, Spencer,” you whisper, “It’s okay if you have a hard time adjusting to change.”

His shoulders fall as he releases a shaky breath. Relief starts to creep back into his body, despite his fingers still twiddling with the string.

You look down at it and laugh because it is so much like how he used to be. A little bit better, even.

“You just need to remind yourself that… They’re good changes,” you insist as your hands fall and glide around his waist. It’s soft and pliant and reminds you of the peace you find when you lay in bed together.  You remember the smile he wore the first day he woke up without fearing the sound of a buzzer. You think about how he doesn’t seem afraid of his phone anymore.

When you look back up at him, your eyes linger on the subtle curve of his lips before they settle on teary eyes.

“You’re finally taking care of yourself the way you deserve, so things are going to look different,” you whisper before pulling him closer. You sway with his body, still perfectly him despite not looking exactly the same.  “And for what it’s worth, I happen to think you look wonderful.”

Spencer drops the string to hold you, instead. He chuckles, a soft and bashful noise that reminds you of the first time you met.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he sighs in defeat.

To console him, you provide another simple offering.

“Sweatpants, donuts, coffee full of sugar and syrup,” you hum, “I don’t know about you, but… I can get used to a life like that.”

“They’re nice, but…” he trails off. His body pulls away so that he can see that loving look in your eyes. The last bit of tension releases from weary muscles. Spencer gently rests his palm against your cheek. It’s warm and soft and exactly like it used to be before the scars.

“Of all of life’s pleasures,” he wonders aloud, “I still think you’re my favorite.”

You quickly note the conditional word.

“You think?”

This time when he smiles, it is brilliant and not at all bashful.

“Donuts are pretty good,” he jokes.

It’s such a beautiful sound that you don’t even have to wonder.

“You’re better,” you mumble against still-sweet lips.

And it only gets better from there.

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[writing-with-moss]

Kinktober 3- Public Sex

(authors note) I’m so not in the mood to write, but I must move on. For kinktober does not pause for anyone except God, and I am sadly I’m just an autistic girl. Not yet ascended 🫡

Johnny ‘Soap’ Mactavish x reader

Tw/cw- semi-Public sex, dub-con, it’s sloppy, it’s disgusting, Soap is pathetic and can’t wait to get home to fuck you you so this bathroom will work 😋

When Johnnys hand grazed your ass in the bar you thought nothing of it. He was always touching you one way or another. Mindlessly groping you (and playing with your clit) at home; at work, in public when you were out shopping.

It was almost concerning how much that man touched you. But he always waited to you got home to really spread you out and take care of himself.

but today? Oh lord he couldn’t do that today.

You’d been teasing him all day you little minx. Grabbing at his clothed cock every time you kissed him. Sending him pictures of you in lingerie or using the toys he bought you. Wearing…that shirt to the bar. The one that cut low to show your tits, man he was drooling.

and when someone starting hitting on you? The dam broke.

”Johnny-“ you choke out, feeling yourself get practically thrown into the bars toilet. “Someone’s gonna see-“

he rips down your jeans, the sides ripping and stretching. You liked those jeans.

“Johnny, what if someone sees? We can’t do this-“ your pleas fall on deaf ears, his pants already being undone…oh god look at what you did to him.

tip red and leaky, chubbed up and flushed hard, whines leaving his lip when he brushed his hand against it. His hard on almost looked painful, thick veins throbbing and pulsing as he grabbed your thighs.

he hiked you up onto the counter, hissing in pleasure when he presses against the cool granite. “hold still ya little slut. Teasing me all day. Wouldn’t have had to do this if y’a weren’t-“

You muffle your noises when his tip kisses your clit, body jumping with pleasure as you sink back on the counter, spreading your legs further. Slick wetting your legs as his precum leaked and spread across creamy skin.

Then he’s fucking you, slamming in and out of your poor cunt. His face stuffed in between your breasts as he drools down your stomach. Licking it up.

His large hands dig into your plush hips, dragging you closer. Fucking you like you’re a fleshlight and not a person.

A vile moan leaves your lips, tears staining your baby pink cheeks as you slobber all over your palm, biting down and trying to muffle the sounds that came from your mouth.

Johnny didn’t even try. Panting and groaning as he clawed at you. Desperate and wanting. Your tits covered in spit as he bit and sloppily kissed your neck, sucking and pulling. Pushing you into the mirror. The glass fogging up with each huff you took.

he was loud when he came, an overwhelming pleasure washing over him as he spilled himself inside of you, whimpering as he pulled out, legs shaky.

“Get your clothes back on. Round twos gonna be in the car.”

[damiansgoodgirll]

I never really do this so I was wondering if you can do a one shot with Damian and an autistic reader like what would her do if the reader is overwhelmed and he is trying his best to calm her down. Fluff with a lots of cuddles. If you can’t do it I understand it if you are uncomfortable I’m sorry I thought I get out side my comfort zone and ask 💗💕💕

hi love! i tried my best! hope you like it ❤️

damian priest x reader

overwhelmed

damian knew that big crowds weren’t your places. everytime you were together he tried to avoid them. parties were a big no for you and he understood and respected that but there was a big wwe event coming up and he didn’t want to miss it.

at first you told him to go alone as you didn’t want to be surrounded by tons of people but then you felt a little guilty leaving him alone when all of his colleagues would be accompanied by their partners.

he never forced you to with him, knowing that you would feel a little uncomfortable with so many people so he was surprised when you told him that you would go with him.

“are you sure? you don’t have to and you know that mi amor” he asked you one night before going to bed.

“i’m sure…i wanna be there for you” you said laying your head over his chest.

“if anything happens you gotta tell me tho…”

you smiled at him “i promise you”

so the night of the even became and you were kinda nervous.

you had a pretty long blue dress, hair and make up done and damian wearing a matching blue outfit by your side.

once at the even you were kinda glad you knew almost everyone there. rhea, finn and dom never failed to make you feel welcomed. rhea always treated you like you were sisters and you loved her for that. shauna greeted you, zoey did too. you were happy to see all of those familiar faces that you started to get loose a little. with damian always by your side, you started conversations with most of the people but it was when journalists came around asking damian useless questions that you started to feel a little overwhelmed.

you wouldn’t mind it if they respected your private and personal space but they didn’t.

damian’s hand was holding yours while he was faking smiling answering all of the questions.

“what is her problem? why won’t she leave him alone?” you heard one of the journalist ask to a friend.

damian didn’t hear that but you did.

you tried to shake that feeling away but the fear of having someone’s eyes on you, constantly judging you wasn’t go away.

“are you okay mariposa?” damian asked you, feeling you were getting lost in your head.

“yes i’m fine…” you smiled at him but he wasn’t convinced at all “why don’t we go drink something with rhea and the rest of the group?”

he nodded, being satisfied with your answer.

so a few hours passed, the journalists left but the fear of someone’s eyes on you was still there. you couldn’t explain why but the overwhelming feeling you were experiencing was eating you alive.

“dam…i think i’m going out for a bit, i’ll be right back…” you said leaving the room, not looking back, not even when damian asked you if you were okay.

of course, he followed you outside and his heart broke when he saw tears filling your eyes “baby…what’s going on? are you okay?”

“i don’t know, i just got overwhelmed…” you said. his arms opened up and you immediately found safety in his embrace. he let you cry, not judging you. his hands tracing your back, slowly and gently.

after a few minutes your tears slowed down, making it easier for you to breathe again.

“did something happened?” he asked cautiously. he didn’t want you to overwhelm you with question, he just wanted be sure you were doing okay.

“i don’t know…there was a journalist who said something…but then she got away and in my mind she stayed there…i don’t know i just felt overwhelmed and…”

“hey hey love, take it easy…you’re okay…you’re okay my love…i promise you you’re safe…” he tried to calm you down when he realised you were panicking again “i promise you i’m here…everything’s okay and no one is judging you baby…is it okay if i hug you again?”

“yes please…”

damian smiled when you hugged him back, knowing that most of the times you just wanted to remain alone “it’s okay love…” he reminded you, making you feel loved and safe.

“i’m sorry i ruined your party…i shouldn’t have come, i know you would have better fun without me being here…”

“that’s nonsense love…this party is boring and you being here makes it even better, i love you so much y/n and having you here with me means the world to me. i’m so proud of you for trying to come out of your comfort zone but i promise you that you don’t have to do that, not for me especially…do what makes you happy and safe…” he kissed the top of your head, making you feel loved and appreciated.

“thank you for being here damian…i love you so much…” you smiled into his arms.

“why don’t we stop by the market you like and we buy that delicious ice cream and then we watch a movie and cuddle on the couch together?” he suggested, almost like reading your mind.

“that’s a perfect idea…” you smiled again.

feeling thankful and grateful for having someone as supportive as damian in your life, that was the best feeling ever.

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

autistic reader x mommy wanda where reader has a meltdown about something (your choice) and wanda has been with us long enough to know how to deal with it, but still gets shaken up every time it happens

Mommy!Wanda Maximoff x Autistic!fem!reader

Summary: It's been a long day and Wanda asking you about dinner is the final straw

Word count: 666

Warnings: reader has a meltdown, stims (rocking)

Authors notes: So I am autistic and wrote this from experience of my own meltdowns, which even when I'm done with the meltdown, the feelings linger and stick with me for a bit.

The day had been long and exhausting, the kind of day where every social interaction felt like walking through quicksand. You had been masking all day, trying to keep up with the expected social norms, and now you were home with Wanda, your safe haven. You were hoping to finally relax and be yourself without the weight of expectations.

When Wanda asked, "What do you want for dinner, lyubov?" It was the last straw. It was too much for you to process at the moment. Your chest tightened, and you could feel the meltdown coming. You started to cry, unable to hold it back any longer. The familiar sensation washes over you: the need to stim, the overwhelming emotions, the feeling of being out of control.

Wanda, as always, was right there by your side. She guided you gently to a more comfortable spot, her hands cold and reassuring, you could feel each ring on her fingers. She spoke softly, her voice a constant, soothing presence, even though she was inwardly panicking. She hated seeing you like this, feeling helpless because she couldn't just make it all stop.

"It's okay, moya lyubov," Wanda whispered, using the nickname she always did when you needed comfort. "I'm here with you.”

You rocked back and forth, stimming to help regulate the chaos inside your mind. Wanda stayed close, letting you cry and release the pent-up tension. She wished she could do more, wished she had the power to take away your pain completely. But she knew that just being there, just letting you be yourself, was what you needed most.

After a while, the storm inside you began to calm. The tears slowed, and your breathing became more even. Wanda continued to hold you, her presence a steady anchor in the aftermath of the meltdown.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, feeling the lingering weight of guilt.

"Don't be sorry, Lyubov," Wanda said gently. "You never have to apologize for being who you are. I love you, all of you, and I'm here to support you."

Her words were like a balm to your weary soul. You leaned into her, feeling her warmth and love. It had been a rough day, but with Wanda by your side, you knew you could face whatever challenges came your way.

"Can I just have dino nuggets?" you asked with a sniffle, staring at the floor. The question felt small and safe, something familiar amidst the chaos.

Wanda smiled softly, relieved to hear you voice your preference. "Of course, lyubov. Dino nuggets it is."

She gently squeezed your hand before getting up to head to the kitchen. The sound of her moving around, opening cabinets and starting the oven, was comforting. It was a reminder of the routine and normalcy you both cherished.

You took a few deep breaths, grounding yourself with the familiar sounds and smells. The kitchen light cast a warm glow, and you could hear Wanda humming softly as she prepared the nuggets. It was a song she often hummed, one that always made you feel at ease.

After a few minutes, Wanda came back with a plate of dino nuggets, setting it down in front of you. "Here you go, lyubov," she said, her voice filled with love and concern. "Take your time, okay?”

You nodded, taking a nugget and biting into it. The taste was exactly what you needed, simple and comforting. Wanda sat beside you, her presence steady and reassuring. She didn't press you to talk, just stayed close, letting you know she was there.

As you ate, the tension slowly eased, replaced by a sense of calm. You were grateful for Wanda, for her understanding and patience. Even though she couldn't take away all your struggles, she made them more bearable just by being there.

When you finished, you leaned into her, feeling the warmth of her embrace. "Thank you," you whispered.

Wanda kissed the top of your head. "Always, Lyubov. I'm here for you, no matter what.”

[writingficsanddaydreams]

Worried Thoughts

Mihawk x gn!reader

Summary: he thinks you’re afraid of him, but really you feel more comfortable here than anywhere else. If only you could figure out how to explain that.

Content: fluffy cozy piece. Just a hint of romance. Reader is autistic.

Warnings: reader is somewhat insecure about their autistic traits.

A/N: Couldn’t get this idea out of my head, so I’m sharing with all of you. It’s been a long time since I wrote any fanfic so I might do more, I might not, we’ll see. Story is based on live action Mihawk with some inspiration from the little bit I know about the anime. Enjoy!

—————

He’s frustrated with you.

He doesn’t let it show. Mihawk is too controlled for that, too stoic. Besides, you’ve come to learn the look of casual disdain he wears is for everyone, not just you.

But he’s still frustrated with you.

You can see it in the little things. The slight furrow of his brow. The way he watches you over his book. The long, drawn out sips of wine.

It’s the things you’ve learned to look for after a lifetime of having to watch and analyze and try so hard to fit in. A lifetime of trying to be normal.

Around Mihawk though? You don’t feel that need so much.

It’s why you let your eyes drift away from his intense, piercing gaze. It’s why, though you’re still afraid to let yourself stim too much or let too much excitement shine through when a special interest topic comes up, you do let yourself chew on your lip. And sometimes, when you catch yourself rocking because the silence is just a little too much, you don’t make yourself stop.

But still, he doesn’t quite understand it. He thinks you’re afraid of him.

You should be. Honestly you’re not sure why you aren’t. He’s the worlds greatest swordsman. He’s probably the most powerful person in all the seas. He wears that power like a cloak, holds himself in a way that warns people to step away. Step back.

You saw it in the village last week, when he had you sail with him to a nearby island so you could help pick up supplies. Folk recognized him and feared him.

To be honest, you thought he would leave you behind there. After all, he has no reason to keep sheltering you. It’s been a month since you washed up on the beach of his own gloomy island, a month since you barely evaded the monsters that live there and found your way to his door.

He let you stay, and you figured it was because of how pathetic you looked at the moment. A shipwrecked survivor on the brink of death, looking more like a drowned rat than a human.

It’s not that you’re actually pathetic. You’re not weak. Or at least not too much so. Honestly, you can hold your own against most folk back home, and you know how to sail a small ship just fine. Or at least, you thought you did.

That storm wounded your pride and has you questioning your seafaring skills.

The point is, you can take care of yourself overall. Though, you quickly learned after you first set sail a few years back that being the best in your village means nothing when so many folk out there are as powerful as gods. Competent or not, you’re nothing compared to the great warlord.

So why did he let you stay? Why was it, when you were getting ready to turn and walk away after setting foot on the village island, he handed you a small crate of supplies and said to not fall behind? Why was it he let you get back on his ship and sail all the way back here with him? 

You haven’t asked him yet, because you’re a little afraid that maybe he’ll change his mind. You’ve come to like your life on this isolated island.

But you’re getting away from yourself again. Letting your thoughts drift. It’s been a week since that village visit and now you still sit within Mihawk’s vast and rather chilly castle, hyperaware of his piercing gaze digging into your head.

“You don’t need to be so afraid of me.”

His voice makes you jump, and you realize that you’ve been rocking where you sit as you stare at the book in your lap.

“I’m not,” you manage. “I…”

Your eyes latch onto the book. You’ve been reading it for a couple of days, but you’re having trouble focusing today. Whenever you look at the words, it makes you think about how yesterday you launched into a long analysis of the adventure genre and how it really is such a shame that people don’t appreciate this book as much, since even though it was one of the first of its type there’s been so many books that have built on it since that now it seems almost predictable.

Mihawk didn’t seem bothered at the time, but now you look back at it and you’re sure he must’ve been annoyed, or at the very least bored. You’re still kicking yourself for not taking the time to check his expression when you went on that endless monologue.

“You act afraid.”

You take a quick peek out the corner of your eye, watching as he casually sips from his wine glass. Firelight flickers across his face, lighting up those vivid eyes and casting a golden hue across his dark hair. He’s not looking at you anymore, but you know that he’s still aware of everything you do.

When you find your attention catching on his chiseled chest, you quickly force your gaze away.

“You are a warlord,” you say, trying to be teasing.

“An astute observation.”

“I’m not afraid of you though.” You close your book and with it close your eyes, trying to find the right words. Trying to get them all untangled. “I… I just don’t like eye contact. With anyone.”

“I see. That is reasonable.”

It’s not the response you expected. You’re used to people judging you when they learn how are you are. You’re used to people underestimating you and assuming the worst.

You glance back up at Mihawk, then quickly away to the fireplace instead. “I’m not very good with people,” you continue, “It’s not that I don’t like them, but I don’t always understand the rules of society and stuff. And I don’t always do things the way other folk do.”

When you peek back, he’s lifted a single eyebrow. You blush. Surely he’s already noticed that. Surely you’re being silly as you explain the obvious.

“The rules of society do tend to be rather boring.”

The way he says it, so straightforward as if it makes all the sense in the world… you feel relieved giggle bubble out of you.

“I suppose you really aren’t afraid of me then,” he says, just the slightest twitch forming a smile at the corners of his lips. He tilts his head slightly, then adds. “I was thinking about your theory yesterday. It was… Intriguing.”

Something flutters in your chest. A feeling that you never really thought you’d have for somebody so dangerous. Joy. Excitement. Perhaps even some infatuation, if you’re being honest with yourself.

His castle might be vast and chilly, but it’s also comfortable. And you’ve come to truly enjoy these times where you sit together in front of the fireplace, simply existing near each other. You’ve come to enjoy just being around him. 

“Would… would you like to talk about it more?” You can’t help the hope that creeps into your tone.

“That would be pleasant.”

And so, you finally let that wall down just a little further. You let yourself start talking without holding back, let yourself feel comfortable.

When he rises from his chair and walks to stand closer to your own, his hand just barely brushing your shoulder, you let yourself feel a little bit at home.