#but i simply do not have the capacity to answer them earnestly

[laiiaaa]

dev’s guidelines

do not recommend my work on ANY platform outside of tumblr—especially tiktok. i appreciate when people enjoy my writing and share via reblogs, tagged rec posts, etc.; but keep it on tumblr. if you see my work elsewhere, it has been posted without my permission, so please contact me as per the guideline below.

only people i follow can dm me. i don’t foresee any reason why someone would urgently need to contact me privately—i post fanfiction ffs!—but if that is the case, send me an ask.

on the topic of asks: my inbox is open, but i do not take requests. my full length works are very time-intensive, especially with school, and i do not like to put in that level of effort for a concept i am not 100% into. feel free to send in your thirsts, thoughts, recommendations, etc., but please do not expect or pressure me to answer.

on gender: i write all of my works with a fem reader in mind. all nsfw content (which i don’t post much of to begin with) is fem reader, but sfw posts vary between fem and gn reader.

who i write for: currently i only write for carmen berzatto. if you look at my master list there are works for other characters, but i am not actively writing for them nor do i intend to at this time.

posting: i do not have a schedule. i post when i find inspiration and the time to write. i do not have a taglist, but i’m not against one as i’ve gotten a few questions about it. if i get around to making one it’ll be accessible through my navigation.

[vaguely-concerned]

ohhhhhhhohohoho taash half-accusingly telling rook 'what would you know? you act like you haven't lost anyone' is soooo good and hits so perfectly for rye in particular (who incidentally was showing his true credentials as varric's spiritual son in giving good advice he has never, ever, not once in his life, actually followed himself. and probably never will! (also the only option at that point in the convo that doesn't give you approval interestingly. taash rightfully doesn't quite buy what rook's selling there lol.) of course it's okay for you to be sad and feel abandoned because your parent figure is gone even though she never meant to leave you. not me though. obviously. that's just going to have to be an untended open grave of a wound in my heart forever there's nothing for it). it's such a good hint as to how odd rook's reaction to varric's death must seem to the rest of the team even as they eggshell tiptoe walk around it. of course no one wants to be the first person to broach the subject with rook. would YOU want to be the first person to break through that weird serene lack of reaction and find out what's hiding beneath it??? because none of the potential answers to that have the outlook of being entirely comfortable. (the real answer being, of course, 'oh shit blood magic empowered denial stage!!!'. which is also not great but would have been good to know sooner probably lol)

in general I LOVE the relationship I've been able to set up and keep developing between these two. there's such a solid throughline that there is so much affection in this relationship... but taash consistently picks up on rye's bullshit (as much about what he tells himself and thinks about himself as anything else, I don't think he means to be deceptive necessarily he's just out of touch with a lot internally), on the lack of complete authenticity that's there however well-meaning. and (probably wisely) keeps that last little bit of distrust and distance because of it. no one in the world could want to help them more earnestly than rook, and his protectiveness and tenderness for them is genuine and from the core. but beneath it all rye is not in a place with himself to be what they really need because at the end of the day and in many ways they're probably already further along in the quest to be true to themselves without apology or obfuscation than he is. and also he's going to get their gf killed inadvertently in a hot second so like. layers. layers of stuff and resentments and broken promises never quite made and reflections never quite faced going on here despite everyone's best intentions every step of the way lmao (which could be the subtitle of this game in many ways so that works out excellently thematically). 'I feel like I'm always letting you down and I'm so sorry' cycle keeps grinding on.

at the same time taash is working through ways to reconcile with and find ways to live with their mother and the memory of her in all her shortcomings because they love her and she means so much to them that they don't want to let it go completely, 'I just have to find a way to hold you that doesn't hurt me so much even if that means I can't clutch you as closely as I might have wanted once'... they're having to do some of the same process with rook. forgiving someone for what they couldn't be for you and finding other ways to get what you need -- not because this person ever meant to let you down, but because they simply don't have the capacity for whatever reason not to, a bit. there's going to be an oh how the turntables moment at some point down the line where taash rounds on rook to bark 'hey asshole forgive yourself already. you can't be everything to everyone and no one's asking you to be but you. and if anyone is asking you to be that they're dicks because that's unfair. stop beating yourself up I don't like having to watch my friends be bullied.' and rye will have to lie awake staring at the ceiling for a couple of nights after that probably. but maybe there's some hope he'll finally listen.

(I think the only person who gets rye completely unfiltered is lucanis by the end. which is not at all reflecting on the rest of the crew -- RYE rarely gets rye completely unfiltered all of those relationships are still very important no matter what lol. but I think lucanis has both the eyes to see through to and understand the truth and the unflinching 'I said all in and I meant all in' nature to accept what he sees without hesitation or quibble when he does, which makes rye finally let the walls come down after the fade jail when everything is in shambles inside. the full mutual People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is 'You're safe with me'—that's intimacy and so on and so forth deal. which basically is what that big romance scene is about and why it's. everything.)

[prettyboykatsuki]

you can totally ignore this but how do you reconcile your need for your creation to be seen with the disappointment that comes with the lack of engagement? and i mean that in any capacity - regardless of what that entails or signifies for you. i strictly post on ao3 and i find myself caring too much about whether or not people like my work. and sure, i do enjoy the process of writing, but it does sting when the things i post are not received the way i want them to be. i know authors talk about creating stuff for themselves, but that can't be all there is to it. even if you tell yourself that you're the only audience, and that any extra eyes are nothing but a bonus, you can't help but expect something else. something more

i know this is probably not the answer you are hoping for but my honest answer is that you have to learn to get past it or writing will become a deeply miserable experience for you rip

it sounds unempathetic but there’s not any like. special tactic or way of thinking that circumvents the process of simply learning to do it over and over again. i understand the disappointment but truthfully that is all there is to it

i never post anything with regards to other people unless they are paying me to do so. everything else is mine. if i wrote for an audience or spent time letting people infringe or my writing or self expression i wouldn’t post again

it helps to be aware of things like scope and popularity to deal with those things. like i know intrinsically any post about gojo will get a truly underserving amount of attention ahsjfns. and me writing about ochako and my sock fetish will be pretty niche etc

but in general you really do have to practice letting go of your expectations. i don’t expect anything from people when i post. i have accumulated a following over some time and i talk a lot so things get notes but i never harbor any expectation they will which is why im thankful for it no matter size or number.

engagement isn’t symbolic of anything. it’s not even symbolic of peoples interest 100%. so much goes into who engaged a work which is why it’s best to simply write For You. and it’s especially not symbolic of things like quality or passion.

i truly don’t expect anything when i post. i don’t think people even perceive me, so im always pleasantly surprised when followers or ppl express interest. if i worried about it i dont think i could be here as like,, earnestly as i am. i know it sucks and i get the feeling of disappointment but its just one of those pesky things that you must work through with time 🥲

it doesn’t make it any less hard but it really is all that u can do to manage it. no way out but through sort of thing. and it’s even more true in a climate where writers are generally treated like a commodity 🥲

i wish u best of luck in the journey. im always willing to talk more about it but yeah it does suck ass and i feel for the struggle. but it gets better w practice

[alice-dont-break]

i... dont really know how to introduce this one other than.. have fun ig? sorry! also for my mental health if you hate this please dont tell me lol ok bye

the accident | jas x reader blurb

cw: car accidents, drunk driving mention, grief, idk it’s just really depressing

Whimpers and babbled phrases screeched through the phone and tugged at all of Jasmine's heartstrings. "Babe? Babe, can you please slow down?" Her pleas fell on deaf ears, as your storm of cries without consonants rained down. The only loose words Jasmine could grab onto ignited the current flowing between the magnets in each of your chests, drawing you together with an unavoidable pull: "sister", "accident", and "hospital". Jasmine's lungs began to heave as she blinked away subconscious tears that she simply didn't have time for. She needed to get to you now.

When Jasmine burst through the threshold of the sterile hospital waiting room, her eyes locked on onto you - your tapping foot, your curls that cascaded down from where your head had been buried between your knees, the white knuckled hands you used to hug yourself that she now needed to replace with her own.

You couldn't see her though, not yet. Your eyes were too busy blinking away tears that now felt more like an annoyance than any expression of emotion, and memorizing every speckle on the vinyl floor. It wasn't until her hand warmed a patch of your middle back that the room outside of your plastic chair flooded back into existence. Your shoulder flinched for a moment, but the familiar scent of shea butter extinguished the flames on your nerve-endings before you could pull away. Your Jasmine was here now.

Vague murmurs filled the space between you, but your brain had no spare capacity to process them. Her words would be sweet, as they always were, but you couldn't quite reach them through the fog. Instead you focused on her hand; her outstretched fingers cradling your jaw while her thumb brushed across your cheek back and forth, perhaps to wipe away tears drops or perhaps just to give you some soft touch to contrast with every fist you felt barreling into your gut.

When the warmth on your cheek finally pried your eyes open, your downward gaze landed on Jasmine where she kneeled on the floor. Her tight frown relaxed into neutral with a tiny sigh; to call it relief would be too bullish, but it was something. "Hi, baby," she whispered.

Your lips parted, as you hoped the thunderstorm of emotions in your mind would simply fall out, but you had no such luck. You were silent, save for a strangled moan that told Jasmine everything that she already knew. Her thumb rubbed over your cheek, harder this time. She wasn't just soothing you, she was trying to communicate with the small gesture, saying something along the lines of "I'm here". Craving more of the only comfort your body could understand right now, you flopped your head to the side so Jasmine could bear the weight. As your eyes flickered shut so you could focus on soaking up all that warmth, Jasmine began to scan the room.

This waiting room was small, and only a couple other seats were occupied. Your parents weren't here. Just as she opened her mouth to ask if they were here somewhere, she remembered they couldn't be. You'd mentioned they were both out of town for business trips. You had been here alone.

A sign on the adjacent hallway read "Trauma Surgery Recovery Wing", which gave her another clue. Jasmine's was earnestly trying to put as many pieces together as possible to avoid asking you questions that you weren't in a state to answer. She hadn't realized you'd opened your eyes again, until a timid whimper escaped your lips to capture her attention. Your eyes fixed on hers as you tried to tell her what you needed, even though you yourself didn't know.

"Sweetheart, what can I do?" Jasmine's voice wavered though she fought the anxiety creeping up her throat. She needed to be strong to protect you, but she didn't know what she was up against. "Water? Or... or should I get a nurse to talk to us? Or -"

"Stay," you murmured, "please just stay with me."

With a quivering lip, Jasmine nodded and climbed onto the seat next to you. She never let her hand leave your knee until she was settled and pulling you into her chest, draping your legs over hers and rubbing her hands on your middle back.

The arm wrapped around your shoulders and the hands with a snug grip on your tricep and knee were your only tethers to reality. You were so lost, drowning in the tears that flooded your eyes though still refusing to fall, that you needed a reminder even just to breathe. Luckily, the tender press of Jasmine’s lips to your temple, repeating over and over at a steady rhythm, provided just that.

"I-it's going to be okay, babe, I d-don't know how, but I've got you," she whispered, nuzzling her cheek against the side of your head, "I've always got you."

Perhaps it was the solace you find in an embrace that felt like safety, or perhaps your body was just too weary to fight any longer, but regardless her words unleashed everything you'd been suppressing since you received that phone call from the police. Your sister's car was hit by a drunk driver, and now you were crying hysterically in your girlfriend's arms while your big sister, your role model, your best friend fought for her life in emergency surgery.

[commander-diomika]

Pairing: Azu/Cel Sidebottom

Word Count: 1900

Rating: Mature (for drug references and mild sexual content)

Additional Tags: Drugs, Sort Of, Kissing, drugged kissing, Kinktober, thembofication, Fluff,

Prompt: Bimbofication / Collaring / Cockwarming

Summary: “I don’t know…” Azu said slowly. She wasn’t even sure where Cel had gotten the Rod of Bestow Curse, and their plan to gradually zap their intelligence down sounded… dubious. But then again, Azu wasn’t exactly a science-minded sort.

“Even I’m not silly enough to try this solo, Azu, and don’t you think it would be fun to do together!” Cel brandished the wand with an alarming enthusiasm. “I was just thinking about it, because when I take these off-” Cel tapped their goggles with a crystalline ding, “-for a little while after I feel, inebriated but not quite, until I adjust again, so I’m just curious about what happens if instead of calibrating out of the feeling, I persist with it!”

“Please, Azu. For science.”

It was just like the time with the Mega-joos, Cel explained to Azu. They just wanted to try something out.

“I don’t know…” Azu said slowly. She wasn’t even sure where Cel had gotten the Rod of Bestow Curse, and their plan to zap their intelligence down gradually sounded… dubious. But then again, Azu wasn’t exactly a science-minded sort.

“Even I’m not silly enough to try this solo, Azu, and don’t you think it would be fun to do together!” Cel brandished the wand with an alarming enthusiasm. “I was just thinking about it, because when I take these off-” Cel tapped their goggles with a crystalline ding, “-for a little while after I feel, inebriated but not quite, until I adjust again, so I’m just curious about what happens if instead of calibrating out of the feeling, I persist with it!”

Azu crossed her arms across her unarmoured chest. She did suppose that Cel had a point. The idea had a similar air to when Azu wanted to take a mysterious potion just to see what it did. She didn’t really feel like she could argue against Cel’s logic. (A very familiar feeling.)

“And if it all gets too much, I know, you can just restore me! I won’t be in any danger, and you can keep an eye on me, just like how I observed you last time! And nothing bad happened then except for a bit of broken furniture, and I’m not even big enough to break anything. Unless I somehow beast morph whilst- no, I’ll leave all my gear outside of the room and perhaps it would be good if your first responsibility is just to keep me in the one place so I don’t do anything rash with my potions.”

That sounded… remarkably sensible. But still, doubt niggled in Azu’s chest. “What if you stay that way? Something might go wrong with the restoration.”

“I have every faith in your healing! Besides, I’ve examined the wand carefully, it will definitely do what I want and nothing more, and it’s a basic enough spell to fix this kind of thing! Zolf does it all the time!”

“Why don’t you ask Zolf then?” Grasping, she knew.

Cel pressed their lips together, suddenly looking sheepish. “I don’t- You know that I like Zolf very much, Azu, but he’s not as much- well, to be honest, I just thought it might be something fun for us to do together.” When Cel dropped their chin and a puppy-dog pleading entered their eyes, Azu knew that the battle was lost.

She sighed. “Very well. Allow me to prepare the necessary spells.” Glee spread on Cel’s face, and Azu felt her chest warm with the rewarding light she always felt when helping. “Do not start without me.”

…

Cel took their goggles off and gently placed them on a side table. They closed their eyes and sighed, swaying a little.

“See, this kind of thing feels like we should have some drinks, too, but that would be adding another variable.”

“It’s probably best if I don’t get drunk.” Azu agreed. Cel’s room at the inn was comfortable if not lavishly appointed, a friendly fire in the grate, a bed and several armchairs just big enough for Azu to feel comfortable in.

“Right! Here we go! My research says this curse will affect my mental faculties based on a percentage of the original capacity, that is, not in an exponential but rather linear fashion from the original-”

Azu simply settled into a chair to watch as Cel pontificated. In the several days of downtime the group had been afforded at the inn, Cel had grown a shadow of stubble for a change. It was quite endearing.

“- but I am curious as to whether the-” Cel stopped suddenly, squeezed the wand in one hand, steeling themselves.

“The time for curiosity is done! It is time for answers!” they announced dramatically, then cast the wand in a sweeping motion over their tall frame. A sickly energy throbbed in the room for a breath, then nothing. Cel simply blinked owlishly.

“How… how does it feel?” Azu asked slowly.

“Not sure yet!” Cel said delightedly. “Give me a minute!” They stalked around the room in an energetic lap, once, twice. “I don’t feel any different. I’m going to do it again.”

Before Azu could advise against it, there was another eerie pulse. Standing in front of the fire, Cel’s eyes fluttered shut as they swayed. Azu felt the muscles in her legs coil, ready to spring into action in case Cel toppled, but they quickly steadied and snapped their eyes open.

“Should I take notes? Nothing in my research said that my memory will be affected by this experience but there is every chance that the sensations I feel can only be captured in the moment?” Cel went over to their desk and pulled up a sheaf of paper and started scribbling, muttering to themselves, seemingly having forgotten Azu was even there.

This continued for the next half an hour, cursing themselves twice more. On the third grasp and wave of the wand, they laid their head on their desk and gave a groan.

“Ooft. Dizzy.”

Concerned, Azu came over. She looked over Cel’s notes. The writings were becoming increasingly garbled; not any less legible but written in a confusing mix of languages, and the diagrams were becoming more… well Azu wasn’t sure how to describe it, but there was something abstractly expressive in them.

“Are you alright?” Azu asked.

Cel lifted their head off the desk, a smear of ink on one stubbly cheek. “Yes! I’m just goingsdahfdg-” They raised their eyebrows. “I’m fiweuhadermersh.” They clapped a hand to their mouth, rubbing a little more ink onto their face and jumped to their feet, remarkably spry.

“Do you need healing?” Azu asked, concerned. She wasn’t even sure how they were doing that with their mouth.

Cel walked around the room again, shaking their head. Azu watched them, and slowly settled into Cel’s desk chair. Cel didn’t seem worried or distressed, in fact as they turned and stalked back over, there was something determined in their eyes.

“I’m ok! I just- I think I just had to learn how to speak again.”

Azu frowned as Cel slowly lowered to their knees and laid their head in Azu’s robe-clad lap. “Bit swimmy,” was all they managed, and Azu instinctively petted their hair.

“The experience is not dissim- dissim- that different from some of the psy-psy-psychoa- trippy, you know, the little ground fellows that make you see things that aren’t real.” Cel mumbled into Azu’s lap. Azu continued to stroke Cel’s hair, feeling alarmed and trying not to show it. Azu knew that when people were under the influence of the little ground fellows, you should try your best to be a calming presence.

“It’s kind of nice. I often feel like I have two or three voices, layered inside, you know the talk inside your brain?”

“Internal monologue?” Azu ventured.

“Yes! The inside voices, all talking over each other, saying pros and cons simul- all at once and now it just feels…” They gestured with one hand then brought it up to rest on Azu’s thigh. “Quiet. I think if this happened, some other time, somewhere else…. I would feel afraid. I’m not afraid. I’m safe. And it’s ok to just feel… quiet for a little while. With you.” They nuzzled their nose into Azu’s thigh, their gaze unfocused as though they looked through Azu to something distant.

Azu watched Cel’s face carefully; cheek still smushed into Azu’s lap, their eyes darted up, their pupils blown wide and dark. “Kiss me?”

Azu blinked, petting hands stilling. “No, Cel.” She spoke gently, as one would to a demanding child. “It wouldn’t be right. You’re not in your right mind.”

“No, no no,” Cel went to shake their head but was really just nuzzling more firmly. “It’s still me! Cel! I’m not any less Cel! I’m fully Cel! I’m just, I don’t have the layers of inside-thinky-brain-talk that always talk me out of saying something like ‘I think we should kiss and I think that would be fun and nice!’ I’m pretty much always thinking that kissing would be fun and nice but there are so many reasons why I don’t usu- don’t say it!”

Azu was flummoxed. Cel’s only rule had been “don’t let me mess with my potions.” Cel hadn’t set up a single rule about what happened if the increasingly uninhibited half-elf hit on them.

That felt like a huge oversight on both their parts, really.

But Cel was looking up so earnestly, tall hair mussed from rubbing on her leg, and Azu was inclined to agree that kissing was indeed fun and nice, and very rarely far from her mind, too. Cel was making an awful lot of sense, as they usually did, even in this state.

“Ok.” Azu said softly. “Just one kiss, for us, if you promise you won’t regret it later.”

Cel came to stand. Whatever was happening in their mind, their body was still perfectly coordinated as they loomed over Azu and took her face in their slender hands.

“Azu.”

It’s very nice to be loomed over by them, Azu thought, looking up at Cel’s inky face.

“Kissing is nice. I don’t ever think I should have not-kissed someone.” Cel said, and for all their clunky phrasing, their voice was steady, gaze intent.

Azu tilted up her chin in invitation, and Cel dipped their mouth to Azu’s. The kiss was warm, and easy, Cel’s lips parting, letting their tongue trail and explore Azu’s lips, her tusks. Azu barely opened her mouth and felt Cel’s tongue slip inside, curious and soft. She met it with her own, careful not to push or overwhelm Cel’s narrow mouth, feeling the soft stubble on Cel’s upper lip against her own.

When Cel sighed in pleasure, Azu gently leant back.

“I think that’s enough, Cel.” Azu’s heart was beating fast in her chest. She wanted to surge upwards, plunge her tongue into Cel’s soft mouth, squeeze them and unwrap them and run her hands over every inch of them. But not like this.

Cel pouted, then screwed up their face in a slightly pained expression. “That was very wonde- beauti- nice. Wonderbeautynice.”

“Would you like a hug?” Azu offered. That, Azu felt she could offer without the heat in her veins overwhelming her. She stood, spreading her arms, and Cel wordlessly melted into them.

“I think I’d like my words back now, Azu. My inner words too. It was wonderbeautynice without them with you, though.”

Holding Cel her in arms, Azu let her heart open to Aphrodite’s light and lifted the curses on Cel. They sighed, squeezing their arms even tighter around Azu’s broad frame.

“That was such a kiss, Azu!” Cel leant back from the hug, not taking their arms from around Azu’s shoulder’s. Azu was relieved to see the sparkle in their eyes returned. “But you know, I don’t think I have quite enough data to say what kind of kiss it was, and I was wondering, if you would indulge me just a little further tonight, could we do it again?”

“For science, I take it?” Azu asked through her smile. With the light of Aphrodite and Cel’s bright gaze on her, Azu felt warm from crown to navel, fiery heat below that. She lifted her hand and rubbed tenderly at the smutch of ink on Cel's cheek.

“For science, absolutely.”

[gundamthey17]

Find What Fits

This is prompt 2 / 2 for the @transwizardtournament! Thanks to @lifetoanother for commissioning me (again!) This one is a les mis/marauders crossover.

Read on AO3

The Gryffindor fifth year boys’ dormitory was filled nearly to capacity as thirteen students sat laughing, talking, and drinking butterbeer and contraband firewhiskey. (In fact, it was entirely possible that the room had been filled to capacity, and then had simply expanded to accommodate more people as they entered. Remus was reasonably sure that he had never seen at least one of those chairs before.)  It was a Friday night, and the Beauxbatons exchange students would be heading back to France that Sunday.  The fifth years were making the most of what little time they had left together, now that winter break was starting and they had no assignments to complete.  

Bahorel, James, Sirius, and Peter were playing a drinking game. Remus wasn’t sure who had started it, but he suspected all four of them would be spending some quality time in the bathroom before the night was out. Marius and Cosette were laughing with Dorcas and Marlene; Lily, Enjolras, and Combeferre were engaged in an intense-sounding discussion of Wizard-Muggle relations in France. That left Remus sitting at the edge of the room alone, nursing his firewhiskey, but he was quite content with that arrangement. He was still recovering from the full moon earlier in the week, and he would likely find himself dozing off soon.  Suddenly, the room’s final occupant appeared at his side.

“May I sit with you?” Jehan asked. They had been flitting from conversation to conversation for the majority of the night.

“Of course,” Remus replied, moving over to make room on the small couch.

Jehan settled back with a sigh and took a delicate sip from their half full glass of firewhiskey. Their long auburn hair was coming out of its braid, and it spilled over the back of the couch. Their inquisitive hazel eyes roamed the room for a moment before coming to land on Remus’ face. “Hard to believe the semester is over already,” they said, with just a trace of a French accent.

“Yeah,” Remus replied. “It’s been great getting to know you all. We’re going to miss you.”

“Will you write?”

“Sure.”

“All of you,” Jehan clarified. “I am trusting in you to remind the others if they forget.”

Remus smiled. “Lily won’t forget. She’s fascinated by wizard politics. I’ll give the others some gentle reminders now and then. Or not so gentle.”

“Good. Enjolras and Combeferre seem to have met their match in Lily. I honestly did not think it could happen. And everyone else has been wonderful too.” They paused, and seemed to choose their next words carefully. “I wish the rest of our friends could have come as well. They would have liked to meet you.” Remus hummed in response. Jehan continued, “I should put you in touch with our friend Feuilly. You and he have… some things in common.”

“Oh? Is he in your year?”

“Not exactly. There were certain… factors… that prevented him from becoming a student. Our headmaster is perhaps not so accepting as yours.”

Remus turned his head sharply, more curious than offended. His eyes flicked about the room warily, but everyone was intent on their own conversations. “Your friend… you’re saying he’s got a similar… problem? Like mine?”

“I do not want to assume anything about you. But there are certain similarities. I wonder if you two can perhaps encourage one another. He has never encountered anyone whose case is quite the same as his. I could put you in touch with him. If you want, that is.”

“I’d like that.”

“I’m sure Feuilly will appreciate it. And Bahorel too. He and Feuilly are together.”

“That must be hard. I can’t imagine what it would be like for Sirius and me if we – “ Remus cut himself off quickly, realizing what he had said. The fact that he and Sirius were – whatever they were – was not common knowledge. But Jehan merely nodded.

“You would find a way, I am sure. My… what is the word? Significant other? He does not attend Beauxbatons. For reasons mostly of his own choosing, unlike Feuilly.”

Remus couldn’t help but admire the way Jehan spoke about themself and Bahorel having boyfriends. “Is it easier in France?” he asked suddenly.

“Is what easier?”

“Being… you know…” he gestured vaguely.

“Gay?”

Remus let out a startled laugh. “Yes, I guess that’s what I mean. Or – or bisexual, or – any of it.”

Jehan sighed pensively. “Some things, perhaps yes. Others less so. Being entirely yourself will always take courage, no matter the setting.”

“Sirius is always telling me to be myself. But I’m not even sure I know who I am. Or… or what I am.” He wasn’t sure why he was suddenly saying all of these things out loud. Jehan was easy to talk to, and it was entirely possible that the firewhiskey was helping as well.

“That is all right. It takes time. And it’s different for everyone. Sirius may know who he is and be comfortable with that, but you are not him.”

“How did you know that you were…?” Remus trailed off, realizing he actually wasn’t sure how Jehan identified. He finally settled on, “That you wanted to be called they, instead of he or she.”

“Ah,” Jehan nodded. “In some ways, this is easier in English. In French, everything has a gender, he or she.  There is very little room for someone who is a different gender, or many genders, or no gender.” Remus listened attentively. Jehan gave a knowing smile.  “But this is not what you asked.”

“No, I guess it’s not.”

“How did I know that I am non binaire? Well, how is it that I know anything else? Let us look at you, for example. Would you say that you are gay?”

“I’m – I’m bisexual, actually.”

“And how do you know this?”

Remus paused, a furrow appearing between his brows as he considered the question.  “I knew I liked Sirius,” he said slowly, “so I thought at first that I was gay.  But that… I don’t know, it didn’t seem quite right. I think that I like some girls as well. Or I could. Bisexual seemed to fit better.”

Jehan’s face lit up.  “Yes, this is it exactly! Gender is the same. You try something for a while, and maybe it does not fit. Then you try another thing. It is okay to keep trying until you find what fits.”

Remus took a long sip of his drink and nodded.

Jehan laid a hand on his shoulder.  “I can see I have given you much to think about, my friend. I will go and make sure the others are not drinking themselves to death. Thank you for your questions. It is nice to be able to speak openly about such things.”

“Thank you for your answers,” Remus replied earnestly.

 It was well past midnight by the time the last of the guests left the dormitory. Peter and James were both snoring loudly on James’s bed. Remus had taken a seat by the window and was watching the stars. Sirius came up and nudged him from behind.

“You coming to bed?”

“Hm?” Remus said, startled out of his reverie. “Oh. Yes, I’m coming.”

“I know that look.” Sirius took a seat across from him, the expression on his face not quite a grin, but carrying a playful air. “What are you thinking about?”

“Something Jehan said.”  They were both silent as Remus considered whether or not to elaborate. His eyes drifted from Sirius’s face back out the window. “Would you still like me if I wasn’t…”

“Wasn’t what?”

“Wasn’t a boy,” Remus finished softly. “I’m not saying that I’m not! Or that I’m a girl. I’m just not sure… that I’m either.”

Sirius took Remus’s hands in his own. “Rem.  I like you for who you are. How you identify isn’t going to change that. And it’s okay if you don’t know yet. We can find out together. Keep trying different things until something sticks.”

Remus ducked his head and smiled.  “That sounds like what Jehan said.”

“Then you have it on good authority that I know what I’m talking about.”

“That, or you were eavesdropping on me earlier.”

Sirius clasped a hand to his chest in mock offense. “I would never! You impugn my honor, good sir!”            Remus grinned. “I didn’t realize you had any to begin with.”

“How dare you! I demand you cease this chatter at once!” Sirius rose and, in one fluid motion, swept Remus out of his seat and carried him across the room, depositing him onto his bed. Remus tried and failed to suppress his laughter, but James and Peter were sound asleep and did not stir.

Sirius leaned down and pressed a kiss to Remus’s temple.  “Good night, Remus Lupin.”

“Good night, Sirius Black.”

[aerinmelina]

Talent Night

A short broppy oneshot :) Song by Taylor Swift. (And yes, I changed one of the words on purpose to fit the trolls a little better IMO.)

——

Branch applauded along with the rest of the crowd when the troll on stage finished their performance, although he did so with considerably less vigor than Smidge and Biggie, who were ecstatically vibrating in their seats.

“Did you see what they did?!” Smidge shouted.

“The swords? The flames? Those amazing dance moves?” Biggie asked. Branch could’ve sworn he saw stars in the larger troll’s eyes.

“Amazing! It was amazing! Branch, what’d you think?!” Smidge couldn’t contain herself. Her enthusiasm was over-the-top, but amusing nonetheless. He made eye contact with Milton, Smidge’s boyfriend, and the two men smiled over the little troll’s antics.

Milton took hold of Smidge’s hand while Branch replied, “It really was a pretty impressive performance.” The applause finally died down just in time for the entire congregation of trolls to hear Smidge exclaim, “Pretty impressive?! It was magnificent! Astounding! Hypnotic! Action-filled! Dangerous! Daring! Omigod, Branch, it was way beyond pretty impressive!”

A ripple of giggles and laughs washed over the otherwise quiet audience. Branch felt a little self-conscious because of the very public berating he’d just received, but he had to laugh when Smidge clapped her hands over her mouth and sat back down, apparently having realized that she’d just yelled over a quiet crowd.

“Omigod, I’m sorry, Branch,” she said in a low voice.

“No worries, Smidge,” he cheerfully replied.

“Everyone, shhhh,” Biggie said in a dramatic whisper. “It’s Poppy’s turn!”

Branch looked back toward the stage and his brain stopped processing rational thoughts when he caught sight of his princess in the sparkling dress she was wearing. Princess. Queen. Whatever. She was absolutely stunning.

Poppy approached the microphone in front of her in a somewhat subdued fashion, which was very strange for her. Where was her usual energy? That unrivaled and perpetual pep in her step? When she’d asked him to make sure he made it to Talent Night and said she was going to perform, he had pictured a cheerleader-level of spirit and animation (per usual). Was something wrong?

She looked toward the table where Branch, Biggie, Smidge and Milton sat, and flashed them a grin before she started strumming her guitar.

Interesting. She seems happy, but why so... I don’t know... serious?

He continued to ponder that thought for a moment, then realized that she was actually singing and he’d missed the first part of whatever she’d been playing because he was lost in thought.

Oops. Dial it back, Branch. Focus.

He tuned back in, then shook his head and narrowed his eyes into a squint as he tried to make sense of the words she was singing. It took him a couple of seconds, but when she reached the chorus and sent what looked like a somewhat shy smile his way, his hair stood up on end and he felt very suddenly aware of every eye that was slowly turning his way.

Can I go

Where you go?

Can we always

Be this close?

Forever and ever and ah-

Take me out, and take me home

You’re my, my, my, my

Lover

Wait. Hold up. Wait. Was she singing about him? Did he dare to hope? Then again... who else would she be singing about? Unless she’d secretly been spending time with another troll behind his back... Branch shook his head at that thought before it was given a chance to develop any sort of credibility within the paranoid section of his mind and instead listened more closely to the song while he tried to fight off the blush that he could feel was creeping into his cheeks. His heart made pleasant leaps inside his chest.

We can let our friends crash

In the living room

This is our place

We make the call

And I’m highly suspicious

That everyone who sees you wants you

I’ve loved you three summers now, honey

But I want ‘em all

Can I go

Where you go?

Can we always

Be this close?

Forever and ever and ah-

Take me out, and take me home

You’re my, my, my, my

Lover

He stared at Poppy while she sang, utterly speechless. She passed her instrument to Guy Diamond, who seemed to have magically appeared out of nowhere beside her on stage, and started walking toward Branch as she sang the next part. Poppy held constant eye contact with him while singing, and Branch felt goosebumps start to rise along his skin when she finally reached him and took hold of both of his hands.

Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my

Lover

My heart’s been borrowed and yours has been blue

All’s well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my

Lover

She winked at him, and he couldn’t help the enormous grin (and magnificent blush) which broke out across his face in reaction.

And you’ll save

All your silliest jokes for me

And at every table

I’ll save you a seat

Lover

He spun her around and then pulled her close, into a dance, while she finished the rest of her song. She was so warm and soft, and she sang the song so beautifully and earnestly... he was pretty sure he could have lived contentedly in that moment for the rest of his life.

Can I go

Where you go?

Can we always

Be this close?

Forever and ever and ah-

Take me out, and take me home

You’re my, my, my, my...

Oh, you’re my, my, my, my...

Darling, you’re my, my, my, my...

Lover

The song came to an end, and the entire crowd of trolls all seemed to wait with baited breath for something to happen. No one applauded, but when Branch tore his gaze away from Poppy he found every troll staring at the two of them with giant smiles and expectant eyes.

He looked back at Poppy, who simply asked him, “Well? What do you think?”

His brain wasn’t functioning properly. She’d shattered all of his thought processes. At least... that’s what he’d say later. Maybe it’d make his actual response sound less stupid.

“Huh?”

He heard a chorus of stifled snickers and an “omigod” and facepalm from Smidge, but above all that he heard Poppy’s laughter ringing. Her beautiful, delighted, contagious laughter. He grinned at her, and realized later that it was probably an incredibly dopey grin. Whatever. He was caught up in the moment. Can’t blame a troll for enjoying the present! It’s a gift, for crying out loud!

“Branch! I just sang you an entire song about—oh, you know what? Forget it.” She maintained her grip on one of his hands, still grinning, and knelt in front of him. “Branch, you are the troll for me. You give the best hugs, you listen to me rant about whatever I want to rant about, you encourage me to be a better queen and leader, you help everyone around you in whatever capacity you can, and you do your best to keep everyone safe. You are selfless, you’re honest, you’re brave and smart and funny, and you drive me absolutely crazy sometimes, but I love it anyway. I love you. Will you-?”

“No! Poppy! Stop! This is wrong!” He suddenly came to his senses. What was he doing?! He couldn’t let her be the one to ask him-! Not after he’d already been planning to propose tonight! Unacceptable!

...although it was also very reassuring and heart-warming.

Oh no. Wait. Why’s she biting her lip like that? She usually does that when she’s trying not to cry. Is she about to cry?!

His brain screamed at him to “fix it” when a crestfallen expression flitted across her face, and with a quick motion he pulled Poppy to her feet, gave her a brief-yet-hopefully-comforting hug, and then knelt down in front of her instead.

“I’m, uh... I’m nervous,” he began, and another round of snickers made it to Branch’s ears, reminding him that they were not as alone as he’d originally intended. “Poppy...” he trailed off.

Oh, come on. I’ve practiced the words at least a million times by now. Why can’t I just say them to her?

“Cat got your tongue?” Poppy prompted after several long moments of silence.

“Ha ha, very funny,” he replied.

She stuck her own tongue out at him. “I’d be happy to finish my sentence if you’ll let me.”

He shook his head. “No. Now stop talking and let me think.”

She smirked, and he glared at her for interrupting his thoughts for at least the hundredth time that evening.

His distractedness was totally all her fault, of course.

Branch cleared his throat and started over. “Poppy, you have brought me so much happiness. You’ve taught me how to take a step back and relax sometimes. You’ve shown me how to make friends, and how to be a good friend in return. You’ve helped me to really trust again. You’ve shown me that there’s hope for today, tomorrow and all of the rest of the tomorrows, too.

“Your presence is like the sun in what would have otherwise been my cold, dark life-“

“Branch, will you marry me?!” she blurted out, absolutely demolishing his poetic tangent right as it was just about to begin.

“Really?” he responded. “You just had to get there first, didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry,” she said, covering her mouth with her free hand. “I couldn’t help it.” Judging by the way she was starting to bounce up and down on the balls of her feet, she really couldn’t help herself.

“I wanted to ask you,” Branch said. “I had a whole spiel planned and everything-”

“Omigod, Branch!” Smidge yelled. “We’re all dying over here! Just say yes already!”

Poppy laughed at her friend’s outburst, then pulled Branch to his feet and shrugged her shoulders. “What do you say?” she asked. “Marry me? Be my man?”

He chuckled and rolled his eyes at her in a good-natured fashion, then pulled her face toward his so he could plant a kiss on her lips. The crowd oohed and aahed in response.

I really wish we were alone...

He broke apart from her and asked, “Does that answer your question?”

She smiled and pulled him back in for another kiss, which was interrupted by a certain troll shouting, “Will one of you please just say yes already?!”

“Yes!” both Branch and Poppy yelled. He made eye contact with her, and she burst into bright laughter which wound up eliciting a similar reaction from him as well.

This woman would be the death of him.

I’ll die a happy troll.

The rest of the trolls in the crowd cheered and clapped, which turned into a whole lot of whooping and whistling when Poppy again smashed her lips against Branch’s.

“I’m sorry I stole your thunder,” she said to him when they broke apart. He could barely hear her over the din of the crowd, but he could tell that she most certainly was not sorry. Not in the slightest.

Branch shrugged his shoulders. “Oh, no problem. I guess that’s just one less poem you’ll get to hear.”

Her eyebrows drew together in a pout. “Wait... you won’t say it for me? Ever?”

He shrugged again. “I dunno. Guess you’ll have to marry me and find out.”

Poppy poked him in the chest. “Oh, you’re so on. I’m gonna marry you so hard!”

Branch felt his face immediately heat up again. Poppy winked at him and took a turn to shrug her shoulders herself. “I said what I said,” she stated. “Interpret it how you will. Now I’m gonna head over to the stage to get this show back on track. Bye! Love you! See you later!”

He fumbled for words as a hundred images flashed through his brain all at once. “Wait - Poppy!” he called after her, but it was too late; she was already almost at the stage.

He watched as she ran to the microphone and asked everyone to take their seats once more in preparation for the next performer, as what was surely another dopey smile decided to grace his countenance. He found his seat along with everyone else, and wondered if Poppy was planning to come over and sit with him at any point in the near future.

Branch didn’t have to wait long. Within a few minutes, he felt Poppy’s lips softly press against his cheek. When he turned to face her, she pulled up a chair next to his and wove her arm around his, then leaned against his shoulder and sighed.

“I love you,” he quietly muttered to her, in an effort to not draw attention away from the troll who had taken the stage after Poppy.

“I love you more,” she replied, tearing her gaze away from the new performer in order to make eye contact with him.

“I’ve loved you longer,” he countered. She lightheartedly punched him in the arm.

“Yeah, well I’m gonna love you forever,” she vowed.

Branch smiled. “I’ll love you forever, too,” he promised.

[becca-becky]

Accepting Duplicity, Part 2/2: Can Selfishness Be Good?

Relationships: Janus & Everyone, basically

Summary: A 'what if' scenario: what if Janus took Virgil's role as the first Dark Side to try and interact with the Light Sides? (just imagine every episode pre-AA that had Virgil in it and just imagine if Janus was there instead of Virgil)

Notes: Janus's title is Duplicity, but his nickname is Vill, short for Villain because he dresses like a disney villain (original, I know). This entire thing is just if SvS, Putting Others First, and Can Lying Be Good had a baby and it was AA Part 2

Words: 3633

Also on Ao3!

*+*+^+*+*

When Janus woke up today, he was not planning on encountering the others in his room. And no, he wasn't speaking backward this time.

"Excuse me," He said with a smooth voice before appearing in his usual capelet and hat, "What are you doing in my room?" He sneered.

The others just screamed at the sight of him. Figures.

"Vill? Oh my goodness, I am so happy to see you, that's weird," Thomas said excitedly.

Janus blinked before slowly saying, "All of you just didn't scream in unison upon seeing me,"

"S-sorry," Logan stuttered out, uncharacteristically nervous, "You do this thing where you kind of just- appear ,"

"Wait, wait, wait, what is going on with my hair? Oh, come on, I just washed it like- yesterday. How did it get like this?" Thomas whined as he took off his hoodie and tried to fix his nest of a head.

Roman brightened and threw a hairbrush at him. "Welcome back, Thomas!”

"Thanks, Roman," Thomas quickly tidied up his hair and threw it back. Roman let put an 'ow' as Thomas went back to the task at hand, "Vill, you don't understand-"

"-come on-" Roman muttered.

"-for some reason, I wasn't feeling your presence at all,"

"Yes, yes, I'm well aware," Janus said idly, "It's because I wanted to- test something, you could say. Although a more proper term for my disappearance would be 'ducking out',"

"Quack," Patton mumbled.

"What- ducking out?"

"Quack, quack,"

"That's a thing you can do?" Thomas asked Logan, who muttered back: "For this video, I guess,"

"I decided to try and remove myself from the equation for the time being, since all of you seemed so adamant that my presence wasn't welcome or necessary,"

"Well, I wouldn't-" Patton started to say before he could only mouth the movements of speech. The poor dear was telling a lie.

Janus shot a sympathetic look his way, "Don't act like I'm not telling the truth, Morality,"

Patton shut his mouth.

"Well, it's because it was kind of unnecessary for you to be there during Thomas's problem solving," Roman said, a grimace set on his face.

Janus snorted, "Oh, what, I'm not allowed to be here but you, Mr. Hopes, Dreams, and Aspirations himself, are?"

"We aren't the same-"

"Noooo, of course not, especially since we both encompass what Thomas's wants and needs in life. Definitely not,"

Roman frowned and began to open his mouth.

Logan interjected, anticipating another argument, "On behalf of my fellow sides, I'd like to... apologize for our negligence towards our treatment of you. I can't imagine it was pleasant,"

Janus sighed, "It comes with the job,"

"But, I truly don't think any of us anticipated how important you are, Duplicity," Logan said earnestly. Roman and Patton gave him a look but he just gave them one of his own, daring them to argue.

Roman sighed, and nodded reluctantly, "Without you, Thomas didn't want to do anything except for work and he couldn't even put on a show for the camera despite that! He just said whatever came into his head and he had a nonexistent filter for everything. It really made me feel bad because then it was like I was useless-" Roman slapped his hand on his mouth and chuckled nervously.

Logan paused before continuing for him, "Precisely, Vill, you encompass so much more than Thomas's selfishness and deceit. You exist to keep him safe,"

"I mean, self-preservation is basically the only reason I'm here," Janus mumbled, "But I'm glad you see my purpose, Logan,"

"B-but," Patton stumbled, "I mean, I get why he’s important, but he’s still not- like us..?" He tried to say in the most polite way possible.

Janus smiled at that, "And why should I, Patton?"

"Say what?"

"Why should I be like you?" Janus reiterated, "And how am I different than you or any other side?"

"O-oh, because lying isn't- it's not, uh, I mean-"

"Tell me, Patton,"

"Because lying isn't good," Patton spit out, his frustration and adamancy clear in his tone, before putting his hands on his mouth in shock, "I- I'm sorry, I don't understand what came over-"

Janus waved his gloved hand, pretending like his statement didn't hurt him, "Don't soften the truth, Patton, we both know it only makes things worse. And to answer your -to be frank- incorrect statement, I'll say this: how can you be so sure that lying isn't bad? And what makes you or any of the others ‘better’ than me?"

"Because you aren't being honest and the others aren’t- you know, bad?"

"And how is that a bad thing, and what makes the others good?"

"Because it's- it's not- it's not ethically right, first of all, and second, there’s nothing- ethically compromising about these two,"

"And how can you be so sure?"

"Well, um, look. How would you feel if someone lied to your face about something that they didn't have to lie about and you trusted that person?"

"I'd feel hurt," Janus said curtly, already understanding where this was heading.

"And that's because you trust them to tell you things that aren't lies because you trust them to not break your trust," Patton rattled off, moving his hands around aimlessly.

"Okay, those are way too many 'trust's in one sentence," Roman said, cradling his head in his palms like he was getting a headache.

Janus ignored him, "That's only one scenario, Patton. What if you had to tell the truth about a hamster's death to a child? Would you lie to them and simply say that 'your hamster ran away' or something more comforting? Or would you tell them the blunt truth? That their hamster is gone and won't ever come back to them? And you’re still not answering my question, Morality, what do the others have that I don’t that makes them ‘good’?"

"W-well-"

"Patton, just hear me out on this. What if not all actions have the same moral consequence in different situations as moral philosopher Jonathan Dancy says? I’m paraphrasing here- but he said it's truly impossible to quantify the ethical weight of moral principles since situations can be so different from each other for many different reasons. So, curiosity during a rather morbid experience and continuously probing the people who experienced it isn’t exactly ethically right in that specific situation. Or let’s say pride; you got a callback for an audition for a- um-"

“-an Alfred Hitchcoppalucas film-!”

“-yes, that, but your friend -who also auditioned- didn’t get the callback. Now, it’s fine to feel pride in your accomplishments but you don’t just shove it in their face, because that’s just needlessly cruel. It’s all in the matter of how far you go with it,”

"Yes, but that still leaves the fact that at least lying for selfish reasons isn't the most- morally decent thing to do-" Patton argued.

"That's you making your own judgment call. Surely you know when it's necessary, to tell the truth in a situation and when it isn't? That's the whole point of moral particularism. I'm just trying to say that lying isn't the most black and white thing to do. And even then, morals aren't black and white and shouldn't be perceived as such, since morality is more of a- spectrum of grays,"

Roman snorted, "Are there 50 shades-?" He was quickly shut up by Janus with a snap of his fingers.

"Those grays vary in shades of light and dark, but they're all the same color, and that's the mindset you should have as a figment of morality simply because life isn't simple. It gets more and more complicated as it goes on. People are never truly evil or good, it's only dramatization and opinions that shape people's perception of them. Sure, there are some people who are the darkest shades of gray imaginable and some who have shades that are so light they're white, but that suddenly doesn’t make them incapable of doing good or bad. And that's why I'm here,"

"To darken Thomas's shade of gray?" Patton muttered, confused, continuously shifting his eyes between Janus and Thomas.

"No," Janus quickly said, "No, definitely not. I'm here to-"

"-show that I have a capacity for deceit, among other things," Thomas finished for him.

Patton gasped, "Kiddo..."

"Patton, Vill isn't that bad. He really isn't, or at least, he really can't be. If he was, then I would've been better off without him a few hours ago,"

Patton looked at the floor, "But Thomas, he's still-"

"We're all capable of doing bad as well as good in life, Pat," Thomas said softly. "You know that, I know that, so why are we fighting it?"

"I just want you to be a good person," Patton whispered

"And I just want to keep him safe," Janus said. Patton looked up at him, a small frown on his face. "I know you don't like me, and I know you certainly won't try and do so today or tomorrow. But- but at least trust that I want what's good for Thomas as well. I'm self-preservation, for Christ sake, I'd be going against my job description,"

"Well, then why do you always act like the embodiment of a Disney Renaissance villain all the time?" Roman blurted out.

"Roman?" Thomas asked tensely, but Roman soldiered on, rambling incessantly like if he won’t get his thoughts out on Janus now, he won’t have another opportunity later.

"What? He's a creepy cookie! You're a creepy cookie, Duplicity!"

"Roman!" Thomas repeated.

"You're like an oatmeal raisin cookie that's primarily composed of raisins, no one wants that, least of all-!"

"Pump the breaks, Princey!" Thomas said.

Roman's eyes widened like he was somehow realizing, just now, that he said all of that, "I- I'm sorry," He placed his hands on his face in embarrassment.

"You pump those breaks,"

"I'm sorry, I just- I'm feeling a bit more truthful? Just getting all of my thoughts out there, I'm-"

"Take it easy, Roman," Janus warned.

Roman groaned into his palms once more. “Ye-yeah, I got that,”

"But to answer your rather blunt question, I was under Vi-" Janus halted before continuing as though he didn't pause his sentence, "-the belief that a dark persona would help you listen to me, that maybe if I played the villain, you- you'd listen to me. But gradually, I realized that perhaps it wasn't working as I anticipated," Janus said sheepishly. "So, I needed a bit of a break from that whole spiel to attempt and- reinvent myself, you could say. I wasn't planning on leaving you for so long, and I -maybe, possibly- thought you would enjoy the lack of my presence,"

Roman snorted, "Look how well that-" He quickly shut his mouth with one look from Thomas.

A silence passed. It was stifling and Janus was about to ask if he could go back up to his bedroom so he could be actually comfortable but Logan spoke up before he could do so.

"Well, that sounded monumentally unwise and incredibly out of character for you, Duplicity,"

Janus growled, "What? Is the embodiment of selfishness not allowed to take a break?"

"Vill, you are an incredibly important survival instinct, and it's astounding that you don't realize that, even with you saying you understand your purpose," Logan sighed, "I realize that we have undermined your presence more times than Roman can count-"

"-hey-!"

"-but you simply must understand that without you around, Thomas would suffer," Logan summoned a graph and marker and gestured to the title. "The relationship between selfishness and performance can be expressed on this curve, known as the Yerkes-Dodson curve. It's named after the psychologists, R. M. Yerkes and J. D. Dodson. They-"

"Get on with it, Calculator Watch!"

Logan frowned, hurt flashing in his eyes as he reluctantly continued. He didn't even seem to realize it. Janus tensed. His room was beginning to take a bigger hold on them than he envisioned.

"Up here is where you want to be-" Logan gestured to the point of the parabola, "-the optimum degree of constructive tension. Yes, too much selfishness pushes us to this side of the curve, and performance is hindered, which is less than ideal. But without you at all, Thomas is not just on this more overworked, under prepared side of the graph which is also not ideal when you're trying to get things done. He's all the way down here,"

"By the horn of a unicorn, that was going somewhere! I thought I'd have to drag our attention away from that stupid graph like it's somehow more important than me because my self-worth is incredibly poor and I just want someone to-" Roman slapped his hands over his mouth, flashing Janus a grateful look.

Janus stared at him with wide eyes but turned his focus back to Logan, "So, without me, aren't you always on the other side of that- um-"

"Yerkes-Dodson curve, yes," Logan ended for him.

"I was blanking on the word 'parabola', but that works as well,"

"There are ways I can work on that, Vill. But I'd rather work on it with you than without you at all," Thomas said earnestly.

"I doubt you can guarantee that with Morality around," Janus said softly, stealing a glance at the side in question, who just looked down ashamedly.

"We can all work on that, Vill," Thomas amended. "It's important because you need to be listened to. You're an important part of me -all of you are- but I need to recognize how much you need to control for me to function well. You're kind of like Roman, in that sense,"

"Well, we're both multi-faceted and we do encompass a lot of your wants and needs," Janus muttered.

Logan added on, "You're what holds Thomas back from overworking himself, you're there as a protective instinct first-"

"-and you're there to make sure Thomas gets what he wants!" Patton exclaimed, startling Logan.

Patton noticed Logan's stiff form and wide eyes and quickly apologized. "Sorry, was that too loud? I was worried I wouldn't get another chance to speak and I wanted to share my thoughts before I forgot them if Vill went on another-" Patton shut his mouth and didn't continue, however, did shoot Janus a thankful look, who reciprocated it with a concerned look of his own.

"Duplicity," Janus looked to Thomas, "In small doses, you're what encourages me to treat myself a bit when I've gotten a lot of work done. To take extra time with my appearance so I'll like who I see in the mirror, and to know when enough is enough. I- I'm lucky to have you the way I do,"

"Agreed, constant narcissism isn't pleasant for others around you, nor is it healthy for your mental health if it continues to the point of a lack of empathy," Logan said, not noticing Patton and Janus's flinch. "Whether it's a symptom of a different issue, or a narcissistic disorder, or the unfortunate result of something someone is going through,"

"And I don't want to downplay any of that, but I think maybe I could benefit from trying to hear you more,"

"And I'm grateful for that, but that doesn't-" Patton cut Janus off.

"Vill, you're what helps make Thomas happy. You're the- encouragement he needs to go out and do something for himself, like getting a hot dog or a new Frogger game. And that small action, even if it isn't much, makes me grateful for you. I- I never truly realized how happy you made me whenever you encouraged Thomas to get something he wants or to take a break from studying or practicing. And I think that's as good a sign as any that you're willing to help Thomas, even if it's through small gestures. And that happiness, that drive, makes us... better," Patton said before bursting into tears, starting to ramble.

"I- I'm so sorry, I thought you were the worst person ever and now it’s like I’m confronting these two different versions of you and I just feel really sad all the time and it's not because of you, I just keep acting all happy and hoping that the bad thoughts'll just go away-"

"-I still think that curve is useless, Logan, I can easily just poof it away and then we can focus on something actually important like me because I have an incredibly small ego and I just think that our time would be better spent-"

"-well, first off, it's called a Yerkes-Dodson curve and second of all, this is the episode where I finally got listened to and now you're starting to complain? It's almost like no matter how hard I try, you never listen and just argue with me even if I’m trying to help-!"

The three lapsed into separate, overlapping arguments, venting about all of their issues and letting their emotions cloud their filters. Janus winced, "Uh, oh..."

"Uh, what the heck is going on?"

"These three have been in my room for far too long and now they can't handle the... effects of staying here for this amount of time,"

"And what are those effects?" Thomas practically yelled, trying to be heard over the three venting sides.

"Saying whatever is on your mind in full honesty and with all of the emotional clarity without thinking of the consequences. And in combination with that , they’re driving you far over the other end of that parabola, not realizing or caring about what the others are saying and simply caring about airing their frustrations to nobody in the hopes that someone will hear and listen to them,"

"What?!"

"Hold on. We're getting them all out of here. Thomas, do not forget what you've learned. Now, think of truths. Not facts, per se, just things you personally know to be true about yourself or the world around you,"

Thomas took a deep breath, trying to ignore the yells, insults, and crying and just focused on himself. "I like cats, the sky is blue, musical theatre is really important to me-" He continued listing things off as Janus sank the gradually quieting group back down to the living room.

The group popped back up again and Janus began to scold them, "Well, that was an incredibly idiotic thing you all did, but I wish I could say I was surprised,"

Roman looked at Janus, astonished, "You... rescued me,"

"I wouldn't say rescue, but I am self-preservation and you were airing out problems I had a feeling would be too… personal for us to discuss at the moment," Janus amended.

"Incredibly right, just as you keep Thomas away from joyless and unwanted situations, you also enable him to find an escape out of them," Logan said.

"Thanks, Vill," Patton said, his tear marks glistening on his face.

Janus felt his human side flush at the praise and waved his hand, "No big deal, Patton. But I still find it hard to believe you all went through that for- for me,"

Thomas smiled, "It was worth it to regain my good ol' self-care,"

"That's right and just like you saved us, it's the cautious people that work that hardest to save others and themselves from harm, whether it be mental or physical. Sometimes it's better for a society to preserve itself than be needlessly selfless," Logan added on.

"I'm glad to have you back, Duplicity, and I promise to make sure you feel listened to and strive for a better balance from here on out," Thomas's gaze refocused on the camera, "And to all of you out there-"

"Wait," Janus found himself saying. "Good lord, I might actually be considering it,"

"What?"

"If you truly want to strive to make me feel listened to, I- I'd like it to be halfway,"

"What do mean by that-?" Roman started but quickly cut himself off as Janus began to take off his glove.

"I know this might feel... unnecessary but I would still like to be on an even playing field with you all, even if it makes me a bit uncomfortable," Janus explained haltingly, flexing his fingers experimentally.

"Oh, Vill, you don't have to if you don't want to," Patton said, concern laced in between his words. The others nodded along with him, clearly in the same boat. But Janus lifted his bare hand, motioning them to silence.

Patton quieted, staring at him with a furrow in his brow.

He took a deep breath and held up his right hand right by his face, as though he was under oath.

"My- my name is Janus," He stated before quickly flicking his eyes at everyone's expressions and putting back on his glove, ignoring the clear shock and confusion from the others.

"J-Janice?" Roman snorted.

Patton and Logan glared at him. "Why's that so funny?" Thomas said with an edge in his voice.

"W-well-" Roman noticed the flash of hurt that passed through Janus's eyes and changed his answer, "-because, um, it's... not,"

Patton hummed, "It's not what I was expecting, to be honest, but I like it!" He commented brightly.

"The name comes from Roman mythology, correct?" Logan asked. Janus nodded, too stunned by the positivity to respond.

"It was... unexpected-" Roman said, shifting his weight on his feet, "-but it must have taken a lot of trust to tell us that... Janus."

Janus gave him a slight smile as Thomas began saying his pre-end card monologue. Something about learning new things about yourself and how the 'bad' things about yourself can have pros about them at times.

In truth, he wasn't paying much attention, he was busy being confused over the warm fuzzy feeling in his chest that came after the fact.

Oh god, did he have a lot to tell Virgil and Remus.

[johannstutt413]

“Good morning, Doctor.” Lady Ceylon walked into his office with a gentle three raps on the open door. “Would you be free for tea this afternoon?”

The Doctor glanced up at her from his work. “Sure. Any particular reason?”

“Does one need a reason for tea?”

“I suppose not.” He nodded. “Very well. Where will we be having it?”

She smiled. “I will host.”

“Immediately after work, or will I have time to change?”

“Oh, most certainly change before you come to my place.” Ceylon chortled. “You should wear something suitable for the occasion, after all.”

He blinked. “Um, right. Is there anything else you need, Ceylon?

“Hmm...I suppose not. I shall see you at tea, then.” She stood there for a little longer before leaving him be.

“Tea with Ceylon - what an unexpected way to spend an evening,” The Doctor mused to himself. “I’m not even that great a fan of tea, but if she wants to discuss something with me, I’ll be all ears. What could this be about, though?”

-

Dressed in a comfortable but nice-looking button-up shirt and jeans, the Doctor made his way to Ceylon’s dorm and knocked. Schwarz answered the door. “Good afternoon, Doctor. Lady Ceylon will see you shortly. Please take a seat.”

“Thank you, Schwarz.” He followed her instruction. “Will you be joining us this evening as well?”

“The Lady has asked me to spend my evening elsewhere, so I’ll be at the bar with Scavenger.”

The Doctor added this to a growing list of strange details. “Well, enjoy your night, regardless.”

“I will, thanks.” A door creaked open. “And with that, I’ll be leaving. Stay hydrated.”

“Stay...” Yet another strange detail, but that paled in comparison to what he was seeing now.

Ceylon, in contrast to her normal attire, was now wearing a slightly-oversized Victorian National University hoodie over what might have been a red dress. “Good afternoon, Doctor. Do you have any plans for later this evening?”

“Nothing in particular, no,” he confirmed, dumbfounded. Her hair was fully tied back in a Rapunzel braid - had she done that herself? “I may have misunderstood the dress code.”

“Simply unbuttoning your shirt should put us at the same level, no?” She walked over to the stove and began boiling their water.

The Doctor did just that, untucking both his shirts in the process. “I’ve never seen you outside of your uniform, I guess.”

“Do you like it?” Ceylon had rolled up her sleeves to fill the boiler. “Schwarz helped me with my hair.”

“It’s quite lovely,” he admitted.

She set a hand to her lips, blushing slightly. “Flattery before the tea has even been poured. How forward.”

“You asked for my...” The Doctor shook it off. “I know you said earlier there doesn’t need to be an occasion for tea, but I am curious why you haven’t invited me before.”

“I had to work up to it, truth be told. Having you to myself in my quarters was a rather daunting prospect.”

He raised an eyebrow. “‘Daunting?’ How so?”

“Well, you see, Doctor, while I often host tea for others - just yesterday, Lady Verna and I had a lovely conversation over the merits of lemon in herbal blends as a flavor additive - I have yet to host a male visitor since coming to Rhodes Island, and I worry that my decorum may be slipping.” As she said that, her hoodie slid off her left shoulder, revealing the dress underneath to be strapless.

“Even in your own home, Lady Ceylon, you are the picture of refinement,” the Doctor reassured her. His stomach growled. “Ah, I missed lunch today. Completely forgot.”

She smiled as she brought a tray of finger sandwiches to the table. “There you are, Doctor. Cucumber, curried chicken, and smoked salmon.”

“Delightful, and much appreciated,” he earnestly thanked her.

“Simply the ritual of tea,” Ceylon blushed, patting him daintily on the shoulder. The boiler began to whistle. “And speaking of which.” She emptied warm water from two teapots, set leaves in both, and filled them to the desired degree from the boiler before bringing the pots to the center of the table. “How are the sandwiches?”

He’d already tried one of each and still could not settle on which to prioritize. “They’re all spectacular. I don’t have tea very often, so I wasn’t sure what to expect, but knowing you, I should have expected it to be this well-done.”

“I’m glad you think so, Doctor. You have had tea before, though?”

“Once with Ch’en and Hoshiguma,” he confirmed. “It was rather awkward, not too different from being a third wheel on a date...In fact, I suspect that’s what I was, in the end.”

She giggled. “That is rather unfortunate. I believe today’s will be substantially more enjoyable. You decided on the chicken, I see?”

“I’ve never eaten meat spiced like this before. You said Schwarz took care of your hair, but I would not be surprised to learn everything else was your work alone.”

“We shared the load,” she admitted, “but to hear your confidence in my abilities...I wasn’t sure how you thought of me.”

The Doctor shrugged. “I have never once doubted your capability, Ceylon. Since the day we met, and you stood alongside us to save Siesta, I’ve trusted you to apply yourself, and the results speak for themselves.”

“Doctor...is it getting rather hot?” Not waiting for an answer, Ceylon removed her hoodie and set it behind her, revealing her dress in its fullest.

“Now I’m underdressed,” he remarked, albeit not changing his attire in any way. “Speaking of hot, do you think the tea is ready?”

She nodded. “I believe so. There you are. If you need anything for it, we should have it and I will retrieve it post-haste.”

“I should be alright, thank you.” The Doctor watched the steam rise from the cup with interest.

“Nothing? No lemon, no milk, no honey?” Ceylon shook her head. “How curious.”

He smiled. “I drink my coffee black for the same reason - the flavors of the plant are my favorite part. Disguising or muddling that with anything defeats some of the point for me; if I wanted to drink chocolate milk with added sugar, I would do that instead of ordering a mocha frappe. Not that I begrudge anyone their tastes, but it simply isn’t my preference.”

“Ah. For some blends, I use the additives to focus on certain aspects of the flavor - a small amount of milk to make a truly bitter tea more immediately palatable so I can enjoy its subtleties, for instance. Do you drink coffee often, then?”

“No more than tea, honestly.” The Doctor shook his head before picking up his cup. “I don’t need large amounts of caffeine, so I only drink either in moderation.” He took a sip, and suddenly, he wondered how quickly conversions could occur. This felt like it might be one.

Ceylon sighed. “Understandable. Are you alright?”

“This is the best tea I’ve ever had,” he replied.

“Oh, why thank you.” She sipped hers. “That is rather good.”

A thought struck him. “Before she left, Schwarz advised me to stay hydrated. Any thoughts on why she would say that?”

“‘Stay hydrated?’...I was hoping to finish our tea before addressing that, frankly.”

“That’s alright, then.” Another long sip. “It did strike me as odd that she wasn’t joining us, and normally I might worry myself over such things, but this tea has certainly set me at ease.”

Ceylon smiled. “That’s good. Unfortunately, I must address that comment now, for my sake.” She refilled off his cup when he set it and the plate back down.

“Very well.” Immediately, the cup was back in hand.

“How do I phrase this...” She tapped the sides of her cup, currently on the table. “The simplest way of putting it would be that I invited you intending to seduce you.”

The Doctor set his cup down. “I see...it has gotten rather hot, hasn’t it?” He removed his over-shirt.

“Since meeting you at Siesta, the thought has crossed me multiple times that a man of your genius deserves someone who can complement it, if not truly match it, and besides that, you are disarmingly handsome without that mask of yours. When I first arrived, I was sure I would find you already had someone at your side in that capacity, but since you do not...”

“You say you ‘intend to seduce’ me...” He cocked his head. “That implies you don’t expect me to simply fall in love with you of my own accord.”

Ceylon blushed. “I mean, it’s a rather ridiculous thought, is it not? We hardly see each other since my arrival here, after all.”

“Fair, I suppose...but truth is stranger than fiction.”

“Are you saying,” she continued after a moment to recover, “that you have already fallen for me?”

The Doctor lifted his cup to his lips, emptied it, and set it back down. “Perhaps not to the same degree as you seem to have for me, but I am more than willing to try to. A woman of your calibre deserves nothing less than your suitor’s best.”

“M-my suitor...I fear I might faint.”

“Perhaps this is what Schwarz meant by hydration,” he smiled. “Should I fetch you something?”

Ceylon shook her head. “No, no, I’m...I’m okay. Um...we should finish tea.”

“Agreed.” The Doctor set his cup on the table, a light dancing in his eyes. While this hadn’t been what he’d expected, it certainly made for a better tea than his last...and boded well for those in future.

[nottskyler]

Dear President Oaks,

We are all one in the body of Christ and it is very clear that your responsibility in guiding the body of Christ is to listen to the pain signals given from other parts of the body of Christ. As a faithful LGBT member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I want to say your words at the press release caused a lot of pain and the LGBT portion of the body of Christ pleads with you to stop and listen.

You say you don’t know why people are LGBT or other queer identities. You speak as if we are dysfunctional parts of the body, but we aren’t. Arms are different from elbows which are different from wrists and fingers, and even fingers differ one from another. Luckily in a Church that relies heavily on personal revelation, you don’t have to figure out our place on your own. You can listen to what the spirit has testified in our hearts and learn how it applies to the running of Christ’s Church. The first thing many of us did when we discovered we weren’t cis or hetero was fall to our knees and ask Gd why, and He responded. Here are the truths that I learned in turning to Gd:

1) Gd loves me and made me this way. There is nothing wrong with me. His purpose is to bring to pass my immortality and eternal life and making me bi and trans was an essential part of my journey to have a change of heart and get to know Gd (which is eternal life according to John 17:3).

2) There are philosophies of men that have snuck into the teachings of the Church when it comes to marriage and gender and Gd has sent more LGBT individuals in our time to helps us root out these lies so we can more fully enjoy the fruits of the Gospel.

3) Gd is not a respecter of persons. As long as someone has faith, Gd will reveal Himself to them and truths that are important to their life. This means there is something we can learn from everyone (Alma 32:23). 

4) The Church is not meant to be perfect. If all we had to do was blindly follow our leaders, we would never learn the traits required to be even as Gd is. Corrections and changes in the Church are necessary to learn repentance and how to get answers on our own.

5) Gender is eternal. Even though there was nothing in my gender expression that was outside what is acceptable for women in our society, there was a dissonance caused by the mismatch of my spirit and body. It testifies to me that I am without beginning or end just like Gd.

6) The reason Gd does anything is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39). That means that He allows me and others to believe things that are not true as long as it leads us to Him. Also, mistakes that we make are important because it creates holes that need to be made perfect through Christ’s atonement. Without those mistakes, there would be no space for Him to come in and heal.

7) Gd wants me to live up to my potential and privilege as a member of His restored Church. President Uchtdorf’s parable about the man on the cruise eating cans of beans in his cabin has always struck an uncomfortable chord with me until I realized it was because I was like that man. Denying my eternal identity and living in the closet was keeping me from being who Gd wants and needs me to be. “Adam fell that men might be and men are that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25). The apostles have always made it clear that the joy is for this life as well as in the next. I have to be true to my eternal identity in order to live up to my mortal potential and privilege.

8) Christ stands with the marginalized. Every minute I spend among LGBT individuals, listening to their stories and feeling their pain, Gd testifies to me that He is with them and that I am more like Christ for being among them as Christ would, helping share their burdens and sharing the hope and love that Gd has given me.

9) Spiritual laws are eternal and unchanging and ignorance will not save me from the natural effects of breaking them. I was in despair that kept growing more and more as time went on. I knew from Moroni 10:22 that meant I was doing something wrong. I did everything to be the perfect Mormon girl and repented of every small act and the despair was never lifted. It wasn’t until I accepted my eternal identity and began living my life as a man that it has begun to go away. I have a long way ahead on my transition, but I trust that the seed will continue to grow as it has so far and continue to dispel the cloud of doom. It taught me that even though I was unaware that I was living contrary to my eternal gender, I was not immune to the temporal consequences of my actions.

I know “to every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:” (Ecclesiastes 3:1), but Gd’s LGB children have been wandering in the spiritual desert for over 40 years since informing you of their pain and inability to come to the same truth as you. In the Temple we learn that anyone who is listening can hear Gd’s words as the command is passed down the line. We heard Gd tell you that the time of excluding His LGB children is up. He told you to treat homosexual relationships the same as you treat heterosexual relationships and we hurt when we heard you added your own exclusions. Gd isn’t telling you to start performing gay marriages in the Temple, He is telling you to stop asking LGB members to live a different law of chastity than the one given in the temple, “which is that the sons and daughters of Adam and Eve only have sexual relations with those to whom they are legally and lawfully married according to Gd’s law”.

Discussion about being trans has not been as prevalent or pervasive as the LGB discussion in the Church because, up until your ill-informed announcement, the Church was more friendly towards trans individuals than LGB individuals. The Church allows members to socially transition and take hormones to help them manage the dissonance from their spirit-body mismatch. In fact, I’ve heard many positive stories where Church leaders allowed trans individuals to attend meetings that best matched their gender identity and how it unified and strengthened the ward. Trans individuals have pointed to the line in the Family: A Proclamation since it was released where it declares that gender is eternal to express their feelings as a trans individual. They testify more vehemently than anyone else that gender is important and that it is eternal. And now you point to the line and declare that those who most strongly support it are wrong and that the flesh is more indicative of a spiritual truth than knowledge that is spiritually obtained? (1 Corinthians 2:14)

I am grateful that Gd led me on this journey before you decided to speak your personal beliefs as if they were from Gd because I am one who does their best to listen and obey the counsel of Gd’s apostles and prophets. It would have made me question the office and authority that Gd gave you, likely leading me to leave the Church like so many others, instead of treating this as a mystery of Gd that hasn’t been revealed that I could discover for myself because He can’t wait to share His truths to those who earnestly seek them. I found the truth and I know it is true as easily as I can tell the day time from the night (Moroni 7:15-17). Living as trans has brought me closer to Christ. It has given me the strength to not deny Him to my fellow man. It has filled me with His love and given me the capacity to share it with others and invite them to Christ.

I invite you to listen to the pain messages from the trans portion of Christ’s body, especially because your careless words are going to make the suffering a lot worse for us. If you wish to stop the worst of the pain, I recommend requiring Church leaders to use living names and pronouns for trans people at Church and in Church associated gatherings, encouraging trans individuals to attend gendered meetings and activities that match their gender identity most closely, when they legally change their name and pronouns their records need to indicate the change (FTM, MTF, MTN, and FTN are acceptable), and there should be no punishment for seeking surgery as treatment for gender dysphoria. These policies would ease the pain of trans members of Christ’s restored Church and increase their capacity to help build up the Kingdom of Gd on earth.

Gd has a place in His plan for His LGBT children. We ask that you take a step of faith and love and let us participate without restrictions that you wouldn’t place on a cis and straight member of the Church. We want to marry and not be punished for it, we want to be recognized by our living name and pronouns as any individual wishes to be, we want to seek treatment to mental illness without judgment and punishment, we want to be treated as equal members without restrictions because being LGBT is not a choice. The choice we have is whether we will be who Gd created us to be or suffer the depression and despair that comes from breaking eternal laws. We can wait for revelation for understanding our place in the eternities and priesthood and temple ordinances, but don’t ask us to suffer not being treated as equals, not being treated with common decency, facing judgment instead of love from family members and ward members who justify their behavior by saying they are simply doing what the prophets tell them. Please stop feeding the hate and encouraging them to persecute us. Please love us the way the Savior would.

Sincerely,

Skyler

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[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 64

Yesssss Three’s a Crowd is finally here, and as promised, its a DELIGHT involving a bunch of fusion and feels! I honestly don’t have a ton to say about it aside from the fact that Stepper and Dipevebel are both precious babies that deserve to be loved and protected. And with that outta the way, might as well get started!

Previous: http://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/182514454899/universe-falls-chapter-63

Chapter 64: Three’s a Crowd

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With the question of leadership on the project answered, construction on the drill was now underway. Even after the robot rumble the day prior, the barn still had plenty of suitable materials that Pearl, Ford, and Peridot were able to scrounge up to use on the machine. For the time being, McGucket had taken his leave back to his humble shack to draw up a proper blueprint for everyone to work off of, but for now, laying the proper foundations on the project would certainly prove to be a good first step forward in their efforts to stopping the Cluster once and for all.

“Hm… yes, this should all work nicely…” Pearl mused to herself, looking over the list she had created before checking over the pile of scraps and supplies resting in the yard before her.

“Yo, P! Brought ya more junk like you wanted me to,” Amethyst reported before dropping her load of various items.

“Now, now, Amethyst, this ‘junk’ might just end up contributing to the drill that will hopefully save the entire planet from impending doom,” Pearl concluded with a thoughtful smile.

“Oh yeah?” the purple Gem asked with a smirk as she briefly rummaged through the pile. “So uh… how exactly do you think this is gonna help us save the world?” she asked playfully as she held up a deflated whoopie cushion.

Pearl rolled her eyes as she snatched the cushion away from the chuckling purple Gem and tossed it back into the pile. “Well, you never know,” she said, her amused smile fading as she looked back to the mess before her. “Still… we’re going to need to clear some space out so we’ll actually have someplace to build the drill… To be honest, we… probably should have done that before moving all of these supplies out here…”

“Ugh, so you mean we gotta move all this stuff again?” Amethyst asked, already exasperated by the mere thought alone.

“No need,” Garnet interjected as she stepped up to the pair. “All we need to clear some space is a little muscle.”

“Oh, Garnet…” Pearl took in a bit of an anxious breath. “You don’t mean-”

“I do,” Garnet nodded firmly before offering the purple Gem beside her a small, cordial grin. “Amethyst?”

Upon realizing what the Gem leader’s intention was, Amethyst was unable to hold back a huge gasp of excitement, stars in her eyes as she eagerly showed her agreement with this plan. “Yes, yes, YES! Let’s mash it up, G!”

Garnet simply let out a small laugh at this as she took Amethyst’s hand so they could prepare their dance. Though still slightly apprehensive, Pearl took a step back to allow them the space they needed, hoping that they’d reign themselves in this time when compared to before. All the same, Garnet and Amethyst moved smoothly and fluidly as they strutted towards each other, their usual dance bringing them together in a burst of bold, bright light. And out of that light emerged bombastically large, familiar figure: Sugilite.

“Awwwww yeah, baby!” the rowdy fusion proclaimed, towering high over the entire barnyard. “Ya girl is back and ready to bust it up! Now… lets drill out a space for this drill…”

“C-can we possibly do so in a way that doesn’t raise half the barn?” Pearl asked rather nervously.

“Too late!” Sugilite exclaimed, swiftly summoning her flail and giving it a mighty swing. Pearl let out a small squeak of fear as she quickly ran for cover as the supplies for the drill went flying at random. The rowdy fusion let out a wild laugh as she entertained herself with her thoughtless “land development”, largely unaware to the fact that the white Gem wasn’t the only one watching her reckless display.

“Whoa…” Dipper mused in amazement as him and Ford stood near the barn, observing Sugilite’s strength from afar. “They make it look so easy…”

“They certainly do, don’t they?” Ford agreed with an enthused smile. “Fusion is by far one of the most incredible abilities I’ve witnessed from Gemkind. The fact that they can merge their light-based bodies and gem-based minds completely together to create larger, stronger beings is simply astounding! It’s always been one of my favorite topics to study when it comes to Gems and its an absolute treat to see it again for myself.” The author paused briefly as Sugilite tossed her flail once more, rattling the entire area as a result and nearly knocking Ford and Dipper to the ground entirely. “E-even if Sugilite is… quite a bit to handle…”

“So, is that why you wrote so many notes about fusion in your journals?” Dipper asked, as curious as ever to hear perspective from the author himself.

“Oh, yes, absolutely,” Ford nodded before letting out something of a wistful sigh. “After all, its about the most I could do to document my research on such an amazing phenomenon, even if that research is somewhat… inadequate…”

“Inadequate?” Dipper frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you see, Dipper, I’ve always believed that the best kind of scientific research is born from firsthand experience,” Ford informed astutely. “Its for that reason that I accompanied the Gems on so many of their missions back in the day—so I could see their mysterious powers at work for myself. But fusion is… something on an entirely different level. Its complexities, its true nature, the sheer experience of fusion in and of itself is something that is unfortunately beyond human’s capacity to understand due to one single, simple, unfortunate fact alone: humans cannot fuse.”

“Well… I don’t know if that’s completely true…” Dipper muttered without really thinking.

“What was that?” Ford asked, looking down to his nephew inquisitively.

Dipper flinched, suddenly anxious as he realized that he’d now have to explain exactly what he had just implied. An explanation that likely wouldn’t be the smoothest to provide given how he was still occasionally baffled by it himself. “Um… w-well… I know this might sound… kinda crazy but… I’ve sort of—ok, well not really sort of as much as I’ve actually fused before… So… yeah.”

At first, such an admission was only met by a look of complete confusion from the author, though he soon broke out into a small bout of bemused laughter that only flustered his nephew even more. “Oh, that’s a good one, Dipper!” Ford chuckled, warmly patting the boy on the back. “You nearly had me going there for a second, but I know better. Like I said before, fusion between humans and Gems is a complete and utter scientific impossibility.”

“N-not for Steven it isn’t!” Dipper protested earnestly. “I… I mean, Steven’s half Gem and half human, so I guess that means he can fuse with both? A-anyway, he has fused before, with Connie, and with Mabel a-and… and with me.” He finished quickly, only barely noticing how warm his cheeks were with the recollection of his own fusion with the young Gem.

“…Really?” Ford asked, now quite intrigued as he realized that his nephew was completely serious. “W-well, that’s… that’s incredible! By all accounts something like that should be impossible, but then again the fact that someone like Steven, who’s simultaneously both Gem and human even exists at all is a miraculous impossibility in and of itself! Still, Gem and human cross fusion… it’s a scientific marvel! I’d simply love to know more, that is, if you don’t mind filling me in with all of the details, Dipper.”

“Oh, of course!” Dipper readily agreed, more than eager to aid in his uncle’s important research. “Well, first we—wait…” he paused briefly, a smile spreading across his face as he came up with a plan that would no doubt impress the author even more than the knowledge of human-Gem fusion had. “You know what? I have a better idea. Instead of just telling you about it, why don’t we just show you instead?”

“Show me?” Ford asked, raising a confused eyebrow.

“Wait right here,” Dipper advised quickly, already glancing around to see if Steven was anywhere around in the immediate area, which he wasn’t. So instead, he began hurrying off to go find the young Gem for himself, refusing to pass off the opportunity to amaze the author in more ways than one. “I’ll be right back!”

“Oh, w-well, alright then,” Ford smirked, waving his nephew off, even if he really didn’t understand whatever he could possibly be planning. At least not yet. “In that case, I suppose I’ll be right here until you return!” A mere second later, however, a large piece of upturned earth crashed down right next to the author, courtesy of Sugilite’s recklessness, prompting him to step into the barn for his own safety. “O-on second thought… maybe I won’t…”

“The hat feels… redundant…” Peridot scowled as she glanced up at the colorful party hat Mabel had perched atop her triangular hair mere moments ago.

“Aw, come on!” Mabel exclaimed brightly as her and Steven stood before the green Gem. “I think it looks pretty on you, Peri!”

“Yeah! And besides,” Steven added with a smile. “It’s to celebrate your first time eating Earth food! I mean… technically coffee was kind of your first food, but then again, coffee is a drink so… I don’t think it really counts.”

“Then… what’s the chair for?” Peridot asked, glancing down at the high chair the pair had set her up in.

“Safety!” Mabel and Steven chimed in pointed unison.

“…So… how does this work exactly?” Peridot raised an eyebrow as she looked down dubiously at the plate of macaroni and cheese before her.

“Oh, its really easy,” Mabel informed. “First, you take this fork, then you grab some food with it and bam!” She acted the movements out, shoving a forkful of mac and cheese into her mouth to demonstrate. “Ya get yourself a yummy meal!”

“How dignified…” the green Gem remarked sarcastically. “So… what is the point of this whole ‘eating’ thing anyway?”

“Oh, well, the point is that food tastes really good!” Steven shrugged with a small laugh. “And you eat it so you can enjoy how great it tastes! And… so you won’t starve to death, but then again, I guess that’s not really a problem for Gems so… for you, it’d probably be more about the taste thing.”

“Hm…” Peridot’s expression was still rather critical as she looked down at the food in front of her yet again as she picked up her fork experimentally. “Very well then, I shall try this so-called ‘eating’, but only for the sake of gaining further intel on this planet and its bizarre customs…” Steven and Mabel both stood by, watching expectantly as the green Gem clumsily used her fork to pick up a single piece of macaroni and lift it to her mouth. However, right before she could actually eat it, their unofficial ‘experiment’ was suddenly and unexpectedly interupted.

“Steven!” Dipper shouted as he rounded the corner of the barn. However, in his excitable haste, he accidentally ended up tripping himself up as he did so, resulting in him face-planting hard onto the ground. The racket was more than enough to startle everyone, especially Peridot as she jolted forward in her high chair, ultimately knocking it, and herself over in the process and spilling what was supposed to be her first meal all over her.

“Dipper!” Steven exclaimed, concerned as he hurried over to help his friend up while Mabel moved to assist Peridot. “Are you ok?”

“Steven,” Dipper repeated, his tone very earnest and intentful as he tightly gripped the hand the young Gem offered to help him up. “We have to fuse. Right now.”

“WHOA!” Mabel gasped in shock as she overheard this, accidentally letting Peridot fall back down to the ground. Ultimately, the green Gem picked herself up and stormed off, too perturbed to continue her first attempt at eating now, especially since Steven and Mabel were distracted. “What did you say, bro-bro?”

“I said,” Dipper began a bit breathlessly. “Steven and I need to-”

“Yes!” Steven interupted, his expression an elated smile as he swiftly helped Dipper up and pulled him into a tight, excited hug. “Yes, yes, of course I’ll fuse with you, Dipper! Its been such a long time since we’ve formed Stepper, and I’ve really been wanting to give him another go since we had so much fun together last time, so of course I’m up for fusing, especially if you are!”

“W-well, that’s great!” Dipper smiled just as excitedly as their embrace disbanded. “Then let’s do it!”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Mabel interupted, casting a suspicious glance at her brother. “Not that I’m not super hype to see my favorite four-armed Ste-bro again, because oh my gosh I am, but… what’s the catch here, Dipper? Why do just wanna suddenly fuse with Steven outta the blue like this?”

“Oh, well, y’see…” Dipper began somewhat apprehensively as he glanced away. “I was… sorta telling Great Uncle Ford about how Steven can fuse with other humans and he was really interested in hearing more about it so I figured we could maybe… show him an example of a Gem/human fusion? Just so he could see what that looks like for himself and all.”

“Aha! I knew it!” Mabel remarked with a knowing grin as she placed her hands on her hips. “I had a feeling this had something to do with you bein’ a huge nerd and wanting to impress Grunkle Ford!”

“Oh, come on, that’s not what this is about,” Dipper rolled his eyes. “I just wanna help him with his research! He’s always studying all these incredible things, and what’s more incredible than someone like Stepper?”

“I can’t think of too many things that are!” Steven chimed in brightly as he took Dipper’s hand again. “I think this is a great idea, Dipper. Mr. Ford is just gonna love Stepper, I know it! So come on!” The young Gem didn’t hesitate to pull Dipper after him as Mabel hurried not too far behind. “Let’s go introduce him!”

Despite Dipper’s instance on forming Stepper as soon as possible to keep Ford from waiting in suspense for too long, Steven and Mabel had a bit of a different idea in mind. With ample space to build the drill cleared out, Garnet and Amethyst had unfused, and not long afterward, Mabel quickly gathered the two of them and Pearl to congregate in front of the barn for unknown reasons. Meanwhile, Steven also made sure to round up Ford and even Peridot, still not explaining the reason why they were all being brought together, save for the fact that it was to “watch something”. And needless to say that upon realizing the pair had gathered an audience to bear witness to their fusion, Dipper was less than pleased.

“Are you guys serious?” he asked Steven and Mabel in a harsh whisper as everyone settled in front of the barn. “Do we really need everyone to watch us fuse?”

“Well, yeah!” Steven exclaimed with a grin. “Last time we fused, the only one who got to see it was Mabel. But now that the Gems and Mr. Ford are here, they should get the chance to see us form Stepper too, shouldn’t they?”

“Uh… I don’t know about that…” Dipper frowned, rubbing his arm uncomfortably.

“Oh come on,” Mabel reassured. “All you guys need to do is dance and just pretend like nobody’s watching you. Or that everybody’s in their underwear. Your choice.”

“Hey, are you guys actually gonna do something over there?” Amethyst called as she leaned against the side of the barn. “Or did you just get us all together to watch a whole bunch of nothin’?”

“Oh, its not nothing,” Steven said brightly. “Me and Dipper are gonna fuse!”

A round of surprised murmurs arose from the group near the barn, though Ford in particular stepped forward out of immense interest as to what was about to take place. “T-they’re actually going to do it!” he exclaimed, rushing to pull his journal out of his coat so he could take notes. “If they manage to actually pull this off, then this will be a true breakthrough in my research! An absolute wonder of science and magic!”

“And… rather unprecedented…” Pearl frowned, a bit less enthused. “Steven and Dipper don’t really have much of a logistical reason to fuse right now, so why are they-”

“Because they want to,” Garnet concluded with a hint of a smile on her face. “That’s why.”

“Ha! As if those two clods could even pull something like fusion off,” Peridot scoffed, crossing her arms. “And even if they could, said fusion would likely be barely even functional given that a Gem and a human are hardly compatible and shouldn���t even be together in the first place!”

“Uh, Peridot?” Amethyst spoke up with a bemused grin at the irony of the green Gem’s doubtfulness. “I hate to break it to you, but-”

“Alright, boys!” Mabel interjected loudly, grinning over at Steven and Dipper as she pressed play on the nearby boom box to give them some music to dance to. “Get fusing!”

“Oh, come on, seriously?” Dipper asked in immediate embarrassment upon realizing the song playing in the background was none other than BABBA’s “Disco Girl”. “Do we really have to fuse to this song?”

“Well, it is the song that we fused to the first time around,” Steven pointed out with a small laugh as he already began moving to the pop beat. “And besides, its starting to grow on me a little too. I can see why you like it so much. You… do still like it, don’t you?”

Dipper paused, not really paying too much mind to the question as much as he did the hand Steven had extended out to him so they could properly begin their dance. “Heh, yeah,” he said with a warm, genuine smile as he accepted the young Gem’s invitation. “I still do.”

Without any further hesitation, Steven readily pulled Dipper into a fast, free spin, both of them twirling together, their hands joined as they moved about in wide open circles. With this immediate momentum, it was easy for both of them to forget the spectators watching them as they spun each other out, only to immediately pull each other back in. There wasn’t too much grace or elegance to their dance, but their hardly needed it as their shared elated laughter spoke volumes about just how much this dance was truly bringing them together.

However, their laughter wasn’t the only show of excitement between the boys. For as their dance continued, everyone watching it soon let out a shared gasp of amazement as Steven’s feet slowly began to rise off the ground first, followed by Dipper’s as a result of his tight grip on the young Gem’s hands. The others were all awestruck as they watched the boys rise a good bit into the air together, somehow still spinning in jubilant circles with their eyes closed and their laughter unending. The Gems exchanged a stunned gasp, all three of them silently and collectively realizing that Steven had just very well unlocked his mother’s renowned floating abilities. And yet, they didn’t bother to point that out right then and there, lest they interrupt what was, by all accounts one of the most astonishing fusion dances any of them had ever seen.

Of course, eventually Dipper did open his eyes only to realize that him and Steven were in fact, more or less dancing in mid-air. He let out a sharp, fearful gasp as he gripped the young Gem’s arms tightly, trying his hardest not to look down at the ground several feet below them and doing little else. “S-Steven!” he squeaked anxiously, his grip on the young Gem tightening ever so slightly as they continued spinning winding circles in the air. “W-we’re-”

“I know!” Steven laughed warmly as he looked to Dipper, apparently not even noticing their lifted elevation at all. “I’m having a great time too!”

For a moment, the most Dipper could do was state at Steven with apt disbelief, especially as the young Gem let out another jovial, liberating laugh. And, upon realizing that he’d stay safe and in the air so long as his hands were intertwined with Steven’s, it was a laugh that he was ultimately helpless to join back in on once more. Everyone was still completely awestruck as they watched the gently floating pair, but their amazement only grew as a warm, pale pink light began to flush out from Steven’s gemstone, enveloping both boys as their separate gales of laughter soon became one.

In fact, Stepper didn’t stop laughing, even as he did stop spinning, both sets of his four arms wrapped around himself tightly in an elated, affectionate hug. The newly-returned fusion was more or less hanging in midair, that is, until he happened to notice his precarious perch several feet above the ground. “Uh oh…” he muttered, his laughter quickly dying out, especially as gravity decided to kick in for him yet again. Stepper let out a fearful cry as he quickly plummeted the thankfully small distance to the ground, face-planting onto the grass with a very audible thud.

“I-I’m ok!” the fusion announced, using both sets of arms to pull himself up into a sitting position. He let out a gasp, however, upon noticing the very fact that he did indeed have four arms in the first place, stars filling his eyes as he burst into a delighted smile. “No, I’m even better than ok! I-I’m back! We did it!” Stepper broke into another round of cheerful chuckling as his upper arms pulled himself into an excited embrace once more. “And it feels better than ever before!”

“STEPPER!” Mabel’s ecstatic shout caught the fusion off guard, especially as she plowed right into him, knocking him flat onto his back as she locked him into a heavy hug. “Oh my gosh, its so great to see you again! It feels like its super long since the last time you were around!”

“Aw, come on, Mabel,” Stepper chuckled, sitting up as he returned her hug. “You technically see ‘me’ all the time. Ok well, maybe not me me, but Steven and Dipper me… Oy, this is getting kind of confusing… But still, it is pretty great to be back together like this!”

“Ooo, I am lovin’ those super harmonious vibes you guys got goin’ on there!” Mabel exclaimed as she effortlessly climbed up to sit atop the fusion’s shoulders as he stood. “That’s it! Operation ‘Find the Harmony’ is officially a success! Now we just need to come up with a new mission for you! Now let’s see… hm…”

“I know,” Stepper spoke up with a bit of a wry grin. “How about Operation “Who Said You Could Sit On My Shoulders”?” He asked playfully as he used both sets of arms to hoist her off his shoulders and hold her out in front of him.

“Hey! Its not my fault that you make such a good lookout post!” Mabel protested, sticking her tongue out at the fusion.

“Oh, so you’re finally admitting that I’m taller than you then?” Stepper asked with a knowing smirk.

“Ha! Not a chance!” Mabel shook her head triumphantly. “I’ll never admit defeat! Never! NEVER!”

“Mabel, I’m literally double your height right now,” Stepper pointed out, still grinning.

“…And your point is?”

“Heeeeeyo!” Amethyst called as her and the other Gems began to venture over to the pair. “There he is! Our four-armed main man Stedip!”

“Uh… actually, Amethyst, its Stepper,” the fusion pointed out with a bit of an amused chuckle.

“Oh, yeah, I know,” the purple Gem remarked. “I just think Stedip sounds funnier.”

“Heh… right…” Stepper said a bit sardonically before Pearl spoke up.

“Well, it certainly is a treat to see you again, Stepper,” the white Gem said, gently pushing the chuckling purple Gem aside. “You know, while you’re here, we might just have to fit in some combat training if at all possible. I’d love to see what you’d be able to pull off with Steven’s shield, Dipper’s sword, and that special journal of yours all at the same time…”

“Oh my gosh, that’d be so much FUN!” Stepper exclaimed with an amazed gasp. “I’d be unstoppable with all three of them! Plus, I got plenty of hands to hold them all in,” he grinned, waving three of four of his hands before raising the final one enthusiastically. “And one to spare!”

The others all shared a warm laugh over the fusion’s humorous quip, though it gradually died out as Garnet approached Stepper next. However, the fusion simply took in a deep breath and straightened his posture, offering the Gem leader a solid expression as he allowed her to silently inspect him. “So, Garnet? What do you think?”

It took a rather expectant moment of apparent scrutinization from the Gem leader, she finally broke out into a small, pleased smile accompanied by a nod of certain approval. “I think you’re looking pretty stable, Stepper,” she confirmed warmly.

“YES!” the fusion cheered loudly, only to quickly catch himself and reign his excitement back in. “O-oh, I mean, uh… that’s cool. Ya know… just like I am. Cool and stable all the way!”

“DORK!” Mabel shouted teasingly, letting out a rowdy laugh as Stepper spun around to face her in faux offence.

“Hey!” he snapped, grinning himself as he geared up to chase after her as she ran off. However, before he could, his attention was quickly diverted by a very loud, very angry yell from a very perturbed green Gem.

“YOU!” Peridot shouted, her tone and expression both burning with fury as she stormed up to the somewhat startled fusion. “You’re that four-armed abomination that destroyed my attack robinoids with your information log-based projectiles!”

For a moment, Stepper simply regarded the green Gem with a bit of confusion before he realized exactly what she was talking about. “Ohhhh right, the… dumb robot things,” he said, boredom filling his expression briefly. “Well… I’m sorry about breaking them, Peridot, but—actually, wait, no, we’re not sorry because you tried to use those things to destroy the Gems and Mabel!”

“Well, it’s your fault that I even came to this doomed planet in the first place, you malformed pebble!” Peridot retorted harshly. “I would have never requested an envoy to Earth if not for your destructive actions against my beautiful machines!”

“Ugh, whatever, Peridot,” Stepper scoffed, rolling his eyes as he scowled down at the green Gem. “What matters is that you’re here now, so you might as well try to make the most of it by helping us build that drill.”

“I will not take orders from the likes of YOU!” the green Gem ranted, furious. “I should have figured all along that you were merely the despicable fusion between the Steven and that irksome Dipper given that they’re both just smaller clods coming together to make one bigger one!”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Garnet interjected just as it seemed as though Peridot was reeling back her first to strike the fusion’s legs since she couldn’t really reach the rest of him. So instead, the Gem leader easily lifted the green Gem into the air, even despite her angry struggling as she tried her best to even so much as land a hit on Stepper. “I think its time for you to go cool down… again.”

“Honestly, that’s like the third tempura tantrum she’s thrown today alone!” Pearl remarked as her and the other Gems began to take their leave, with Peridot sending hostile, though ultimately empty threats Stepper’s way all the while.

“I’m not finished with you yet, you four-armed… whatever it is you are!” she yelled fiercely as she pounded against Garnet’s secure hold on her. “You’ll pay for ruining my precious robinoids, you hear me? PAY!”

“Pfft, yeah, sure,” Stepper remarked with a small smirk as he crossed his upper arms. “I’d like to see you try.” The fusion’s calm demeanor was soon broken, however, as he noticed the only member of the group he hadn’t spoken to yet slowly make his way over to him with wide eyes of awestruck amazement.

“O-oh! Hi, Mr. Grunkle Ford!” Stepper greeted excitably, only to quickly cover his mouth out of embarrassment over his accidental slip up. “I-I mean, h-how’s it going, Great Mr. Ford! N-no, I… what I meant to say was, i-its great to finally meet you—ok, well not really meet you since we both already know you, b-but you’ve never met us like this even though you have met us when we’re apart and—you know what? I’m getting confused again, I think I’m just gonna stop talking before I make this any worse than it already is.”

“Again I say…” Mabel grinned as she leaned over towards the scatterbrained fusion. “DORK!”

“Mabel!” Stepper exclaimed hotly, his already red cheeks burning with even more embarrassment than before. However, Ford hardly seemed to take any notice of how flustered Stepper as he instead continued staring at him, absolutely captivated by the supposedly impossible fusion standing before him.

“I-incredible…” the author murmured, astonished. “You boys actually did it! You’re a… a fusion! A true, genuine, Gem-human hybrid fusion!”

“Yep! I sure am!” Stepper grinned excitedly. “T-though according to Pearl, I’m actually like… 75% human and only 25% Gem or something? So, there’s not a ton of Gem in me, but I still have this,” he pointed down to the exposed pink gemstone on his navel. “So, I guess that still counts for something, right?”

“Fascinating…” Ford said, circling the fusion to get a better look at him. “And you appear to be so stable as well… ‘Stepper’, was it?”

“Heh, yeah,” Stepper confirmed with a bit of an awkward laugh. “Though to be fair, it… did kind of take us a while to get us this stable…”

“A while?” Mabel spoke up. “Psh, come on, be honest, Ste-bro! The first time you guys fused, you were an absolute mess! In fact, you were so scatterbrained and all over the place, that you almost-”

“O-OK, Mabel, that’s enough!” Stepper quickly interjected as one of his lower hands hurriedly covered her mouth. “I-I’m sure Mr. Uncle Ford isn’t interested in any boring old recaps of things that don’t really matter anymore! R-right?”

“Hm…” the author mused, tapping his pen against his journal as he looked between it and the fusion. “You know what I would be interested in? Being the first scientist in history to document accurate, fully-researched notes on a Gem-human cross fusion! W-with your permission, of course.”

“…You… you wanna put me in your journals?” Stepper asked, his eyes wide and his expression absolutely stunned. Ultimately, he failed to provide a proper answer, instead opting to stare at the journal in the author’s hands in disbelief, even as Mabel lightly elbowed his leg.

“Uh… Grunkle Ford?” she frowned back at the author. “I think you might have broken him…”

“YES!” Stepper suddenly shouted, stars in his eyes as he bounced on the balls of his feet in obvious elation. “Yes, yes, YES! Oh my gosh, YES!” Even despite his boundless excitement, the fusion was quick to notice the bewildered look Ford was giving him, and as a result, he forced himself to calm down by putting a rather forced aloof front on. “I-I mean… yeah, I… t-that sounds cool. I’d… I’m totally down for that i-if you are.”

“Excellent!” Ford exclaimed brightly. “Then come along, boys—or I suppose I should say, boy. There’s much important research to be done!”

“R-right behind you!” Stepper called after the author as he began to head towards the barn. Even so, the fusion lingered behind for a moment, breaking down into a bout of delighted, outright ecstatic laughter the moment Ford was out of earshot. “I-I can’t believe it! I’m gonna be in THE journal! This is seriously one of the coolest things that’s ever happened to me! Y’know, aside from fusing, which is also totally awesome since I wouldn’t even be in the journal at all if not for that!”

“Only you would get so excited about showing up in some nerd book, Dipper,” Mabel pointed out with a playful wink.

“H-hey, no fair!” the fusion said defensively. “We’re both excited! I mean, its not every day that we get to fuse, and now we get to be in the journal too! Its like a two-for-one deal, just like me!”

Mabel was unable to hold back an amused chuckle at this, one that Stepper gladly joined her in, given his already quite upbeat demeanor. “Wow, you guys are so much more fun together this time around than you were the first time!” Mabel pointed out with a bright grin. “We gotta hang out for some real fusion fun while you’re still fused! Just the two of us! Wait, no… three of us. Two of us? Eh, you know what I mean.”

“Oh, yeah, of course we can hang out later, Mabel,” Stepper readily nodded in agreement with this plan. “Just let Great Mr. Ford get in a few notes in the journal about me, and then I’m all yours for the rest of the afternoon, I promise.”

“I’m holding to that promise, Ste-bro!” Mabel quipped cheerfully as Stepper began to head off to join the author. “Don’t you go and have too much nerd fun without me, k?”

“Well, I can’t make you any promises on that,” the fusion called back with a chuckle as he glanced over his shoulder. “But I’ll try!”

Mabel easily returned Stepper’s send-off smile, confident in the fact that she’d get to have some quality time with the fusion of her best friend and brother later on. Of course, what she didn’t know was that quality time would come in a way that none of them, not even either half of Stepper himself, could have ever expected.

While the Gems continued going through and organizing their supplies for the drill, Ford and Stepper had taken to the far side of the barn so the author could get a chance to properly study the fusion with few distractions to stop them. And needless to say that Ford had already filled up several pages of notes on Stepper alone as the fusion eagerly and readily answered any and all questions the ever curious author asked him.

“So, you can control each of them simultaneously and individually then?” Ford asked, referring to Stepper’s extra set of arms.

“Yeah, pretty much,” the fusion said, holding both one of his upper and lower arms out to demonstrate. “I’m never really sure who’s controlling which arm exactly, and… sometimes they can be kinda awkward, like-” Stepper cut himself off as he accidentally bumped his lower arm against his upper one. “Like that. But they are nice for things like multitasking or carrying a whole lot of things at once, so I guess you could say they’re pretty handy. Ha! Handy!” he chuckled to himself as he waved his hands a bit. “Good one! Thanks!”

“Hm…” Ford mused, tapping his pen against the journal in his hands as he looked down at it. “You know, one thing I can’t help but wonder is whether or not the extensive fraction of you that’s solely organic inhibits any Gem abilities you may have had…”

“Uh… what do you mean?” Stepper frowned, confused.

“What I mean is that the fact that the two of you have fused is already incredible enough on its own,” the author explained. “But imagine how much more incredible it would be if you could shapeshift, or heal, or summon a weapon-”

“Oh! I can summon a weapon!” the fusion exclaimed excitedly before he reeled himself back in as he remembered exactly what that weapon was. “Uh, w-well, I mean… its… kind of a weapon, but not really. I-I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested in seeing it-”

“Actually, I’d be very interested!” Ford exclaimed, his pen already at the ready to document notes about it. “Fusion-specific weaponry has always been quite a point of fascination to me, after all.”

“Ah… right…” Stepper sighed though he was quick to perk up once more. “Ok then! Here goes nothing!” At this, the fusion closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, his four hands surrounding his Gem as it began to glow brightly. Stepper couldn’t help but smile warmly to himself as he glanced down to see the telltale orb of light emerge from the stone as he guided it upwards with his lower hands, watching with anticipation as it flashed and transformed into the shimmering pink book he was familiar with.

“Is… is that…?” Ford trailed off, amazed as he looked over the book as Stepper held it up.

“Its… a journal, yeah…” the fusion blushed in embarrassment. “I think its kind of based on your journals? I’m not really sure why that is but… yeah… sorry…”

“Oh, don’t be sorry, my boy,” Ford said with a wave of his hand. “Honestly, I find it to be quite flattering. Do you mind if I take a closer look at it?”

“Oh, sure, go ahead,” Stepper agreed, handing the journal off to the author to allow him to leaf through it. “So, um… for some reason, half of it is full of notes about Dipper while the other half is all about Steven. Again, I have no idea what the deal with that is, though I kinda like Mabel’s theory about the journal being 50% about each of them, which makes it 100% about me since I am them.”

“That’s certainly a novel theory,” Ford noted with a grin as he continued skimming through the book. “And by all accounts, this journal is a very special one indeed. Though… I fail to really see how it can be considered a genuine ‘weapon’…”

“Oh, well that’s ‘cause it can do this,” Stepper smiled as the author handed the journal back to him. The fusion opened it flat, and as a reaction to him, it began to hover slightly above his upturned lower hands. The book glowed with a pale pink light, Stepper’s Gem and unique birthmark doing the same as his smile widened ever so slightly. And then, in a swift, solid movement, the fusion summoned a glistening, projectile shield from the book’s center, quickly flattening it out before sending it flying far off into the distance until it disappeared from sight.

“Absolutely astounding…” Ford whispered, awestruck as he adjusted his glasses and turned back to the fusion with a wide grin. “Can it do anything else?”

“Uh… well…” Stepper trailed off, uncertain. However, the shield journal itself seemed to provide an answer to this question as another shield materialized over its pages, this one featuring clearly sharp, serrated edges. Intrigued, the fusion tossed it, watching with amazement as it soared through the air much like a buzz saw would. In its place, the journal replenished itself with several smaller, almost miniature shields, which Stepper sent off all at once, allowing them to fly through the air like tiny, yet deadly seeker missiles. Still, it seemed as though the journal wasn’t done showing off what it could do yet as it flashed brightly, garnishing Stepper’s attention as it flipped several pages back towards what was no doubt Dipper’s half of the journal. It stopped on a page depicting a detailed drawing of the Sword of Seasons, and when the curious fusion skimmed his hand against it, a pink, ethereal rendition of the blade itself rose from the pages, allowing Stepper to grab it and give it a wide, experimental swing. While it was bereft of its usual elemental powers, the sword was still physical and material so long as the fusion held onto it, and the moment he released his grip on it, it disappeared into thin air as though it had never existed at all.

“Wow…” Stepper gasped, stunned as the journal finally snapped closed and fell back into his hands. “I have no idea what just happened but… just… wow. I thought this thing was cool before but now its gotten even better somehow! I didn’t even know it could do half that stuff!”

“That was quite an impressive display!” Ford agreed, just as amazed. “I take back what I said before; that journal isn’t just special… it’s… its phenomenal! I’d love to be able to study it even further to learn all of its no-doubt incredibly intricate secrets!”

“Yeah, considering what we just saw, I’d kinda like to know what’s up with it too…” Stepper said, still rather bewildered as he held the book up at examined the star and constellation emblazoned together on its cover.

However, before either of them could begin investigating the matter further, they were suddenly interupted altogether as the fusion let out a startled gasp as he suddenly fell forward, his journal disappearing as he looked back to the sudden weight sitting on his back. “W-what the—Mabel!” he exclaimed as he attempted to shrug her off of him.

“Ha! Gotcha!” Mabel exclaimed teasingly. “That makes it Mabel – 1, Stepper – 0!”

“Who’s counting?” Stepper quipped with a smirk as he picked her up and sat her back down on the ground before standing himself.

“I am!” Mabel proclaimed proudly. “So what are you guys up to anyway? Still doin’ all that nerdy fusion research stuff?”

“Well, actually,” Ford began to eloquently explain. “We’re-”

“Oh man, Mabel, you just missed it!” Stepper cut in, stars of excitement in his eyes. “I just found out my shield journal can do all these amazing things like make these cute little tiny shields or even summon my sword, it was so cool!”

“Oh my gosh, I wanna see!” Mabel exclaimed, jumping up and down. “Can ya show me?”

“Uh… well, maybe in a little while…” Stepper admitted, his smile falling a bit. “We’re still sort of in the middle of the whole research thing and we’re on the verge of uncovering something huge, isn’t that right, Mr. Uncle Ford?”

“It absolutely is,” Ford nodded. “For all we know, Stepper, uncovering the secrets behind that ‘shield journal’ of yours could very well unlock untold secrets about the very nature of Gemkind and humankind themselves! Its an opportunity we simple cannot pass up!”

“Yeah, so ya see, its… pretty important,” the fusion said as he glanced down at Mabel, immediately noticing that her smile was all but completely gone by now. “B-but don’t worry! I promised you that we’d get the chance to hang out later, Mabel, and I meant it. Its just… gonna be a little later than I thought. You understand, right?”

Mabel didn’t respond right away, though when she did, it was with a relenting sigh as she realized she couldn’t very well bring the fusion down from his palpable excitement now. “Y-yeah…” she said, hiding her dejection well. “I understand…”

“Great!” Stepper replied, sending her four thumbs up as he began to hurry on after Ford once more. “See ya then!”

“Y-yeah…” Mabel forced a smile as she watched the fusion leave her behind yet again. “S-see ya…” As soon as Stepper had fully turned away, she was unable to hold back another sad sigh, wishing that they didn’t have to keep putting off their sought-after time together like this. In truth, she did understand exactly why the fusion wanted to spend this time with Ford; after all, the very reason why Steven and Dipper had fused in the first place was largely for the sake of assisting in the author’s research. But even still, Mabel couldn’t help but feel somewhat lost in the shuffle of it all, knowing that it was a rare event to get to see the fusion at all, much less in the newly found harmonious state he was now in. Even just a few minutes of free, boundless fun with him would be more than enough to suffice, but at this rate, it didn’t seem like Mabel would ever even get those moments as distracted and distanced as he seemed to be.

However, as she stood alone and upset as she was, Mabel largely failed to notice a certain green Gem approach her until she spoke up dryly. “What are you doing just standing here like this doing nothing?” Peridot asked, her hands on her hips as she raised an eyebrow at the girl.

“Oh! Peri!” Mabel exclaimed, startled out of her thoughts. “I was just… uh… waiting for Stepper… as usual…”

“Ugh, the Stepper,” the green Gem groaned with disdain, rolling her eyes. “What’s the big deal about him anyway? As far as I can see, he’s nothing more than a four-armed, impetuous, robinoids-destroying clod.”

“Aw, he’s not a clod, Peri!” Mabel chuckled slightly. “Stepper’s really great once ya get to know him! Heh, it’s probably cause he’s made up of two of the people I care about the most… even though I don’t really feel like he’s caring that much about me right now…”

“Well, why do you care if he cares about you at all?” Peridot asked, not following the concept.

“Well, its just… he promised me that we’d get the chance to hang out and have some good old fashioned fusion fun…” Mabel explained. “But he’s been so busy with Grunkle Ford that he just… keeps putting me off. He keeps saying he’ll have time for me ‘later’ but who knows when later is gonna be!”

“Hm… so you’re upset with that bothersome fusion too then?” Peridot asked somewhat leadingly.

“Well, I don’t know if I’d say I’m ‘upset’ with him, but-”

“Then, I have the perfect idea!” the green Gem interrupted with a vindictive smile. “Revenge!”

“Revenge?” Mabel asked, confused. “Revenge for what?”

“For him destroying my machines, of course!” Peridot snapped hotly. “Alone, there’s not much I can do against him and those projectile shields of his, but if I recruit you to my cause, then together can get even with that nuisance of a Stepper once and for all!”

“Uh… I don’t really wanna get even with him for anything…” Mabel noted with a frown. “I guess… all I really want is to get his attention somehow… Maybe if I could just get on his level or somethi—OH! That’s it!”

“What’s it?” Peridot asked.

“I just got the perfect idea!” Mabel exclaimed with a daring grin. “What’s the one, sure fire way to get the attention of a fusion like Stepper?”

“I don’t know and I don’t ca-”

“Fusion!” Mabel interupted brightly. “Which means… Peri, you and me are gonna fuse!”

For a moment, Peridot said nothing, instead opting to send the girl a look of complete and utter bafflement above all else. “We’re going to what?”

“No time to explain,” Mabel said quickly, grabbing the green Gem’s arm and pulling her after her so they could spring her newfound plan into motion. “We gotta find ourselves one of Grunkle Ford’s spare lab coats pronto. I have a feeling this is gonna work great!”

“Well, its certainly composed largely of Gem magic,” Ford concluded as him and Stepper stood over the shield journal as it rested on the small table before them inside the barn. “That much is obvious. But I’ve never seen a Gem weapon… ‘behave’ like this one does, so to speak.”

“Maybe its because I’m a fusion?” Stepper guessed. “Though even then, it is sorta weird that my weapon is a journal which… isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when you think about weapons…”

“It is rather peculiar…” Ford agreed thoughtfully. “Which is why I believe this warrants a full-on scientific investigation. Allow me to go fetch my camera. We’ll begin by taking several expository photographs for later use. Just you wait, Stepper; I have a feeling this research is going to wield some of our most integral and exciting research yet!”

“Sounds great!” Stepper called after the author enthusiastically. Once he was gone, the fusion let out a contented sigh as he placed a fond hand against the cover of his shield journal. There was no telling what sort of secrets its sparkling, mysterious pages might hold, and he was quite excited to uncover them all alongside the author himself.

“You know, I gotta say,” Stepper said to himself as one of his lower hands gently skimmed one of his upper ones. “This has seriously been one of the best days I’ve ever had. Yeah! I’m having a great time too! Makes me wonder why we haven’t done this sooner… I don’t know, but… I think I’d like to try doing it more often from here on out. Really?! Yeah, why not?” he chuckled as his upper arms embraced himself excitedly. “It feels… really nice.”

“Oh, Steeeeeper!” The fusion jolted in surprise at this call as he glanced over his shoulder, only to be met with a sight that baffled him instantly.

“Mabel?” Stepper frowned in confusion as he turned to face the oddly tall figure before him. Mabel had apparently commandeered one of Ford’s tan lab coats, draping it over herself and Peridot, who she was clearly sitting on the shoulders of if the obviously triangular shape under the folds of the coat was anything to go off of. The fusion watched curiously as the pair awkwardly shuffled over to them, clearly struggling to so much as balance at all, much less move coordinately at all.

“Wrong-o, Ste-bro!” Mabel quipped pointedly, grinning excitedly as she realized she was about on the same eye level as the fusion. “I’m not Mabel, I’m… Mabeldot! Or Peribel. I haven’t decided which one I like more yet.”

“Uh… ok?” Stepper raised an eyebrow. “So… what are you guys doing exactly?”

“Isn’t it totally obvious?” Mabel asked with a wide grin. “We fused! Just like you guys did! Isn’t that right, Peri?”

“Ouch!” Peridot shouted underneath the lab coat. “Will you just sit still up there already?!”

“Um… I hate to break it to you guys, but… you guys didn’t fuse,” Stepper pointed out with a frown.

“Whaaaaaat?” Mabel asked in faux appalled shock. “Of course we did! Would we be as tall as you if we hadn’t?”

“Mabel, that’s only because you’re sitting on Peridot’s shoulders,” the fusion noted. “Wait, don’t tell me you’re actually upset about the whole thing about me being taller than you know, ‘cause if you are, then that was just a joke-”

“No! That’s not what I’m upset about!” Mabel huffed, forgetting her fusion façade.

“Uh… then what’s… this whole thing about?” Stepper asked, motioning to the false “fusion” before him.

“It isn’t about anything!” Mabel snapped, frustrated. “M-maybe I just wanted to fuse with my new best friend Peridot because having only one Gem and human fusion around here wasn’t enough.”

“Uh, ok, but just one problem with that,” Stepper crossed his lower arms. “You and Peridot can’t even fuse in the first place.”

“See!” Peridot spoke up as she suddenly shrugged Mabel off her shoulders, prompting them both to fall to the ground with a resounding thud. “I told you! This so-called ‘plan’ of yours was complete and utter foolish waste of time! We wouldn’t have fooled anyone! Now, if you’ll need me, I’ll be plotting out an actual revenge scheme instead of some ridiculous, implausible masquerade!” And with this, Peridot stormed off, Ford’s lab coat still hanging onto her as she made no attempts to shrug it off as she took her heated retreated, leaving Stepper and Mabel alone.

“Mabel, come on,” Stepper said evenly, his expression sincere, concerned even. “I can tell something’s up with you. What’s really going on here?”

“I already told you, nothing’s going on!” Mabel retorted crossly. “I’m fine, everything’s fine, especially you! You’re just off, having a great time together and with Grunkle Ford doing your ‘super important fusion research’, and I get it, ok?”

“Get what?” Stepper asked, still not following.

“That you’re so busy that you don’t have any time to hang out with me!” Mabel exclaimed pointedly. “Even though you promised that you would, but I guess you guys would rather spend your time doing way more important things than having fun with me!”

At first, Stepper had no idea what to really say in response to such an intense, emotional outburst, though he quickly made a move to correct it the moment he noticed tears starting to well up in Mabel’s eyes. “Aw, Mabel…” he began gently as he knelt down to her level. “You know I didn’t mean to blow you off. I really do wanna hang out with you, its just…”

“Its just I gotta wait till you’re done with Grunkle Ford, huh?” Mabel finished, her hands on her hips.

“Um, yeah? That’s pretty much it,” Stepper said, standing. “I won’t be that much longer. You can wait a few hours, can’t you?”

“That’s not the point!” Mabel refuted, stomping her foot down. “The point is that you guys are finally stable together! You’re finally fun, or at least I thought you were until you decided you wanted to bury your head in all that boring research again!”

“W-well, why do you have such a problem with that?” Stepper asked somewhat defensively. “We’re just trying to find answers to questions that deserve to be answered! We could learn so much about fusion, and Gems and-”

“Ugh, who cares?!” Mabel interupted impatiently. “You guys could always just study all that stuff when you’re not fused! Why do you gotta waste your time with it now when you are fused?”

“Well, why does it matter to you so much that we hang out with you while we’re fused in the first place?” Stepper argued back, growing readily more annoyed. “You spend time with Steven and Dipper every day, so why are things so different when I’m around? I am them, for crying out loud!”

“It matters because you’re-” Mabel sharply cut herself off with a frustrated sob, not wanting to give the fusion any sort of high ground in this fight.

“I’m what, Mabel?” Stepper asked a bit harsher than he had meant to as the girl quickly turned around to wipe her tears. While half of the fusion did feel rather guilty about being the cause of those tears in the first place, the other half was far too incensed with what he believed to be justified frustration to let her win this fight. “I think I get it now,” he said, his tone cold as he pulled himself to his full height. “You’re just being selfish.”

Mabel was unable to let back a sharp, bitter laugh upon hearing this as she turned back around to face the fusion. “Yeah, ok, I’m being selfish,” she remarked with a rare sense of biting sarcasm. “Says the fusion who broke his promise and doesn’t seem to even care!”

“I didn’t break my promise!” Stepper snapped fiercely. “You just too impatient to wait for me to finish with Great Mr. Ford! Face it, Mabel, you’re are being selfish, just like you always are!”

A heavy, shocked gasp escaped Mabel at this, her offense to such a burning remark immediately clear. Stepper himself took in a suddenly anxious breath as soon as he said it, knowing that he had crossed a line and wanting to take it back, though at the same time, he forced himself to let it be, still refusing to back down now. “I’m not selfish,” Mabel finally spoke up as she glared up at the fusion squarely.

“Yes, you are,” Stepper countered with a bit of a tired sigh.

“No, I’m not!” Mabel argued, this time much more intently.

“Yes, you are!” the fusion exclaimed. He knew this entire argument was somewhat futile, but even so, a large part of him was far too angry and far too stubborn to simply let it go.

“No, I’m not!”

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m NOT!”

“Yes, you—STOP!” Surprisingly enough, Stepper cut himself off, his lower hands clenched in tight fists as he continued almost desperately. “Stop fighting! Please, I don’t wanna-” The fusion interupted himself again, this time with a sudden gasp as his Gem and birthmark flashed brightly. “B-but… but we shouldn’t…” he trailed off, closing his eyes tightly as he placed a hand against his head. “We shouldn’t say things like that, she’s your sister—yeah, she is and she’s wrong! But being angry like this isn’t gonna—I don’t care! She needs to realize she can’t always have her way! B-but we—Ugh, forget it! I’ll handle this!” The fusion finally managed to steady himself as he took in a deep breath, meeting Mabel’s somewhat startled gaze with a stern, serious glare. “Mabel, I’m sorry, but… we didn’t fuse just so we could hang out with you. And… if you’re going to be so jealous and clingy and selfish then… then maybe I just won’t hang out with you at all!”

Mabel let out another harsh gasp at this, recoiling back a bit as if Stepper’s words had physically hurt her. And for as much pain as they brought her, they might as well have. “O-oh yeah?” she asked challengingly, aggressively fighting against her pressing tears as she returned the fusion’s glare relentlessly. “Well… m-maybe I don’t wanna hang out with you either if you’re gonna be so boring and stubborn!”

“Fine!” Stepper snapped, swiftly spinning around to face away from her, his upper arms crossed tightly.

“Fine!” Mabel repeated just as angrily as she did the same.

And for the next several minutes, that was it. Neither of them said another single word to each other, their argument ending on a sour, stated stalemate. However, as seconds passed on into minutes, Stepper couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder back at Mabel, even if half of him clearly didn’t want to. All the same, his expression softened quite a bit as he noticed her shoulders hitching ever so slightly in what was clearly a mournful sob. With a small sigh, he turned to face her once again, his expression rather neutral as a result of the disagreement between both of both of his halves over the matter. A part of him was clearly angry with her, there was no question about that, seeing her behavior and lashing out as nothing more than immature and foolish. He believed that the best way to handle such an attitude was to simply let her stew in her frustration with him, knowing that she’d get over it eventually and maybe even learn a lesson in patience and acceptance in the process. And yet… while his other half did understand those sentiments, and even did agree with them to some extent, he still couldn’t help but feel rather guilty all the same. True, Mabel’s outburst against him had been harsh and demanding and even possessive to a point, but the only reason she was so upset in the first place was because of his failure to keep his promise to her. He had gotten distracted, and in his distraction he kept putting her off until later, always saying that they’d have time to spend together, but never actually following through. He couldn’t really say that if he was in her shoes, he wouldn’t feel at least a little left out and forgotten as she likely was.

And maybe… that’s exactly what the problem here was in the first place. Though Mabel hadn’t said so in those exact words, the more sympathetic half of Stepper was quickly starting to suspect that was what this conflict was actually about. With Dipper and Steven as fused as they were, it stood to reason that Mabel might have felt as though she was being left out on all of the fun they were having together, and in turn, those feelings of loneliness soon turned into those of bitterness. It all made sense, but even so, it was a problem that he really had no idea how to fix. What they needed was a way for all three of them to work this out without devolving into another hostile shouting match. A way for them to work out their differences on common ground. A way for them all to see things eye to eye.

Or better yet… a way for them to see things through the same eyes.

Stepper moved carefully and intentfully, keeping all thoughts of his newfound plan out of his mind, lest his other half pick up on them and stop him altogether amidst his own frustration. Still, he could feel that half’s palpable confusion as he stepped forward towards Mabel, who couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder at him in equal bewilderment, especially as she noticed one of his lower hands was extended out to her in offering. The fusion’s expression was mingled with both that same almost disgruntled confusion as well as what almost appeared to be a sense of sad sincerity as he nodded at her, silently asking her to take his hand. And, even despite her own currently mixed feelings about the fusion at the moment, Mabel did so, curious to see exactly what he was planning on doing.

However, the last thing she could have ever expected was for Stepper to do was grasp her other hand before pulling her into a slow, first initial spin, one that soon turned into what was clearly an impromptu dance. The fusion himself seemed ever bit as surprised as she was as he met her bewildered gaze evenly, yet even so, they continued on in easy, almost waltz-like twirls gradually leading them out of the barn and into the yard. Neither of them said anything as they tried to piece together exactly what was going on, which was something only one half of the fusion knew while leaving both his other half and the girl completely in the blind. In truth, he had no idea if this would actually work or not, but for the sake of restoring the peace and bonds between them all, it was at least worth a shot.

Unable to hold her immense curiosity in any longer, Mabel was about to speak up to finally ask Stepper why they were apparently dancing in the first place. However, before she could get a chance, she was suddenly blindsided by the bright burst of light from the fusion’s gemstone, one that seemed to flood and fill in over both of them. And, in that brief moment, both of them, or rather, all three of them finally realized exactly what was happening.

Their eyes opened swiftly, all three of them wide and easily depicting their shared shock. Their breath caught in a sharp gasp, their uneven trio of hands trembling as they caught sight of them, as well as the rest of their newly amalgamated form. Even so, they were clearly struggling to take it all in as one single thought ran through their now shared mind: against all odds and all impossibilities, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel were all fused together at the exact same time, resulting in neither Stepper nor Maven even, but in someone entirely different altogether.

“W-wha…” the new fusion whispered, their voice just about completely neutral when it came to gender. They slowly shook their head, still completely baffled as they noticed that their only extra arm rested underneath their left one, while their only additional eye rested evenly above their right. They weren’t able to make much else about their appearance, aside from their attire which was clearly a mix of that of all three of their components. And yet, that hardly mattered to the fusion as much as the fact that they even managed to exist at all, especially as they managed to realize that only a third of them had hoped for this to happen in the first place. “W-what… what did you do?!” they asked, their voice suddenly rising in both fear and fury. “I-I’m sorry! I just thought-”

The fusion gasped again, their shoulders jolting as they suddenly became aware of the several sets of eyes watching them from afar. Despite their new, rather-tall legs, they quickly spun around, only to find Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Ford, and even Peridot all standing near the barn, all of them staring at the new fusion, completely dumbfounded.

The fusion’s breathing began to pick up under the sudden scrutiny, a wave of unbridled anxiety washing over them. All three of their components felt it rush through them almost painfully, but it was clear it hit one of them much harder than the others. They let out a startled cry as their form flashed briefly, turning amorphous and unclear as one of their components began to fall out of the fusion entirely. Dipper didn’t even have time to let out a fearful gasp as, before he could even fully split apart from the fusion, a hand suddenly grasped his tightly. He glanced back up to find Maven, still somehow left over from their fusion and still clinging onto him, their expression morose and pleading, almost as if they were silently begging him to not let go just yet. And, despite the countless emotions running through him at that moment and the stunned audience that they had just a few feet away, he found that was a plea that for some reason, he couldn’t refuse.

Light silhouetted the kids once again as their three-way fusion reformed, still clearly in a state of shock as they glanced down at themselves briefly, before looking to everyone watching them again. To say that they were overwhelmed would be an understatement, and with so many thoughts and so many feelings pouring through their shared mind at once, the one thing they did know was that this was something they had to figure out on their own. Which was why, before anyone could so much as say a single word to them, the fusion turned on their heel and bolted, running off towards the distant fields and hills of open farmland before them, not bothering to look back even once.

“W-wait!” Ford called after them as soon as he shook himself out of his shock, more than curious to learn about something as incredible as the fusion he had just seen. However, before he could attempt to run after them, Garnet stopped him, shaking her head calmly.

“Let them be,” the Gem leader said, watching as the fusion disappeared off into the distance. “After all, this is between the three of them and no one else.”

In their ongoing state of emotional frenzy, the fusion had no idea how long they had been running or even where they were really going. The late afternoon landscapes sped by them as they maintained a steady pace, tears welling up in all three of their eyes the entire time though none of them ever fell. When they finally did come to a stop, it was out of exhaustion more than anything else as they gradually came to a breathless halt against a tall, wide tree standing alone out in the midst of the otherwise empty fields. Their trio of hands were still shaking as they took the time to stare down at them in disbelief, their own existence bewildering them more than anything else at that moment possibly could.

They had fused. By all accounts, something like this should have been impossible, and up until now, each of their components would have readily believed that it was impossible. True, three or more Gems could fuse at a time, but the fact that Steven could fuse with more than one human at a time was something no one had ever anticipated or thought of before. But sure enough, it had happened, and despite how baffled the fusion was by how they had come to be, all too soon their thoughts began to turn to why they had come to be.

“W-we… you… I… I don’t understand,” they began, their voice soft and diffident as they conversed to themselves. “Neither do I… You… you just… pulled all three of us together like this and… and now we’re…” They took in a deep breath, all three of their eyes closing as they tried their best to compose themselves amidst their countless mixed emotions. “Why? What’s the point? Why would you—b-because I thought this would help!”

They stopped briefly, sighing almost sadly as they leaned back against the side of the tree and rubbed their spare arm gently. “I… I thought… you were both so upset with each other… I could see it, heck, I could even feel it… I just thought that… maybe if you could get inside each other’s heads for just for a second, t-then… then it might help you—help us what?” They cut themselves off sharply, a sudden burst of familiar, bitter anger running through them. “See just how wrong she is? What?! I’m not wrong! You’re the one who’s wrong! I am not!” They stamped their foot down harshly. “Everything was going just fine until you came along being all impatient and jealous! Guys, wait, we shouldn’t—I wasn’t jealous! I just wanted to have some fun with you guys, which is something you clearly weren’t interested in. We were having fun! But every time I have fun, you always have to have a problem with it! Come on, you guys, we have to try to get alo—I never said I have a problem with that! Then what is your problem, huh?! M-maybe… No, come on, don’t say it, you don’t mean—maybe my problem’s with you!”

The fusion let out a loud, appalled scoff at this, one that quickly turned into an exasperated groan as their least angry third realized exactly where this was going, as hard as they were trying to diffuse it. “S-seriously, we shouldn’t fight, especially when we’re like this!” they urged desperately. “I don’t see why we shouldn’t! After all, I’d love to know more about this so-called ‘problem’ you have with me! N-no, we don’t—Oh, you wanna hear more?” They asked themselves challengingly, set to deliver this bitingly honest opinion in a unique, yet heavy-handed way they wouldn’t soon forget. “Fine! I’ll be more than happy to tell you!”

The fusion took a bold step forward, two of their arms crossed and their other hand clenched into a tight fist as their other two components finally realized that they were all about to burst into song, whether they wanted to or not. “My problem with you,” they began, their melody upbeat yet carrying a certain catty, unapologetic swing to it. “Who me?” they interupted themselves, confused. “No, you,” they clarified, eliciting a sarcastic eye-roll from only one of their eyes. “Is that you always have to be better. Says who?!” they asked with another doubtful scoff. “You do! And if you asked me twice, well wouldn’t it be nice, if you were just WRONG for once! Ohhhh…”

Incensed by these accusations, the fusion turned their nose up, initially wanting no parts of such a petty argument before they ultimately decided not to simply let these callous claims hang as they were. And so, ignoring how flustered they already were, they decided to play themselves at their own game and offer their side of the story in the exact same musical way. “Well, MY problem with YOU—wait, me? Yeah, you!—is that you always have to always have to be selfish—not true!” they protested before part of them finally spoke up rather timidly to these claims, only to be drowned out once again. “But you—You always get your way, but no, not today, until you did anyway! Ahhh…

They sighed, partially to let a bit of their frustration out and partially out of sadness as they continued walking, almost dancing forward. After all, they had hoped that their newfound, unique existence as a fusion would bring them together; but ultimately, it was only pulling them apart even more than before. “You guys, the problem with us,” they began rather solemnly, only to angrily interrupt themselves once again. “No, him! There’s no us! I-is that we have to try to—stop complaining! Don’t fuss!”

The fusion cringed in spite of themselves, realizing that even though their voice was steady and strong, they still seemed so out of harmony, in more ways than one. “How can we get along? It’ll take more than a song—just admit that you’re wrong!” they snapped bitingly, pressing a hand against their head as they tried to make sense of all of the conflicting emotions and opinions running through it. “Wrong,” they stomped forward once again, their eyes shut tightly as their tone grew progressively more intense. “Wrong, wrong, wrongwrongwrongwrongwrongwrongWRONG—”

The fusion ultimately cut themselves off with a sudden gasp of surprise as they tripped, their foot catching on a rock as they fell forward into a small stream running through the field that they hadn’t even noticed as caught up in their song as they had been. They quickly sat up, shaking themselves off and letting out a disgruntled sigh as they still dripped with quite a bit of water. Their song was all but forgotten as they began, trying to dry themselves off, more than ready to get back into their bout of heated arguing. Until…

They paused, froze practically as they happened to glance down at the crystal clear waters of the stream before them. Or rather, at their own reflection staring back at them from within it. Until now, the fusion hadn’t put much thought into what they might have looked like, as caught up in their own internal conflict as they had been. But now, all thoughts of that seemed to fade away as their own appearance practically captivated them. They were tall, much taller than even Stepper or Maven were, and indeed, they had an extra arm on the left and an extra eye above the right, yet somehow, neither appendage looked out of place or unsightly. In a way, they almost seemed to balance each other out, contributing to the unique, completely new being they now were together. Their hair was a medium length and shade of brown, loose, and free and recklessly curly as it spilled out from the unmistakable pine tree hat atop their head. The rest of their attire was clearly a testament to who they were made of as well, from Steven and Mabel’s shirt and sweater respectively combined into a bright pink top underneath Dipper’s usual vest. Likewise, their pair of loose jean capris rested underneath a purple skirt, their shoes mismatched yet comfortable all the same. In fact, despite how seemingly mismatched and at ends they seemed to be in general, their appearance somehow still made sense. Their fusion made sense, oddities, imperfections and all.

And perhaps… that fact spoke to more than just their fusion too.

Throughout the entire summer so far, one thing had always seemed to be a constant; no matter what danger or threat or trial they faced, Steven, Dipper, and Mabel faced them all together. Through thick and thin, Dipper and Mabel were stalwart siblings; they always had been and they always would be, no matter what, and in the midst of that close sibling bond stood Steven, an endlessly loyal and ever-supportive friend to them both. Regardless of minor spats and petty arguments, the three of them belonged together; the fact that they had even been able to fuse at all was proof of that. And perhaps, they all realized at the exact same moment, it was time to stop letting themselves, of all people, get in the way of the bond of family and friendship they all cherished so very much.

“T-the problem with us…” they began their song again, this time softer and gentler as they kept their sights on their own reflection. “No wait… not ‘us’… Is that I’m not just one or the other…” Slowly, they stood, still looking down towards the stream first, before their gaze gradually drifted to their trio of hands stretched out before them. “I’m not one or two… but something just brand new, so what do I do? Oooo….”

“Maybe…” they trailed off with a sigh, a bit of shame filling them as they thought about just how foolish their conflict had been in the first place, and just how much it could have damaged between them as a result. Which meant that regardless of what was said in the past, it was finally time to put an end to it once and for all.

“It wasn’t me…” they admitted, wrapping all three of their arms around each other in a bit of a lose hug as they slowly passed by the creek. “It wasn’t you… You know, they say it takes two…” They finally cracked a small smile at this joke, though it didn’t last long as remorse entered their melody, though hints of forgiveness and empathy were mingled in there just as much. “I couldn’t see… I wanted to be… part of this too…”

Their pace picked up just the slightest bit as they looked ahead towards the horizon, the sun just starting to sink over it and casting everything in a deep, rich glow of twilight. It was a rejuvenating glow, one that filled the fusion with hope and warmth as they smiled once more, finally, finally ready to declare exactly who—and what—they were. “But now that we’re three,” they began, their smile gradually widening as they walk soon started to turn into a job before evolving into an energized run. “Both us and we,” A small, bright laugh escaped them, one filled with building joy and ecstasy that they knew they would soon be absolutely powerless to contain. “And that makes you… ME!”

At this, the fusion acted on sheer impulse, leaping into the air in the blazing light of the setting sun. For a brief, breathless, blissful moment, they felt almost weightless until gravity began to pull them back down, yet surprisingly enough, it wasn’t enough to ground them completely. For instead of their feet hitting the grass below, they seemed to hover above it ever so slightly, floating gently above the earth as they started down at it in amazed disbelief. And yet, for as elated and excited as they were, they decided not to question it, instead opting to make the most out of such a bizarre yet brilliant opportunity for all it was worth.

“And there’s NO problem with me!” they sang, their melody triumphant as they hovered forward with grace and agility. “Cause as far as I can see, we’re singing in perfect harmony!” The fusion preformed a deft spin at this, more or less practically ice skating on thin air and loving every single second it, knowing that this was what they should have been doing from the moment they first fused. “A sister—a brother—friends caring for each other, like its supposed to be!” Once again, they pulled themselves into a fond, tight embrace as they leaned back a bit, still keeping their mid-air momentum going all the while. “Like it was meant to be!” they proclaimed, proud of who they were and what their fusion represented and glad for this experience, despite its less than ideal beginnings. After all, it had indeed done its part in not only bringing peace between them all, but bringing them all together, in a way that got them closer than they had ever thought possible. Which was why, with a warm smile on their face and a contented song in their heart, they gradually began to glide their way back towards the barn, ready to face anything so long as they faced it together. “Like it will always be…”

An air of confusion had hung over the barn ever since the fusion’s unexpected formation and subsequent flight. Ford, Pearl, Amethyst, and even Peridot each had their own respective abundance of questions, to which Garnet simply assured them to wait for eventual answers to them upon the fusion’s return. Still, as minutes turned into hours with no sign of the fusion or any of the kids who composed them in sight, worry was starting to fill the air, mingling with that same confusion as the sun soon began to set.

“I hope the kids are alright…” Pearl frowned, staring off into the distance the fusion had disappeared into. “Its getting awfully late for them to be out there alone…”

“They’re not alone,” Garnet reminded, casually leaning against the side of the barn. “They have each other.”

“Heh, yeah, cause they fused,” Amethyst interjected with a grin. “Which is totally nuts when you think about it. Like its already crazy that Steven can fuse with Dipper and Mabel each on their own, but all three of them mashin’ it up? This is like… a whole new level of awesome!”

“It certainly is an absolutely phenomenal discovery,” Ford commented as he enthusiastically continued taking what notes he could of the new fusion down in his journal. “Just think of the implications here! A human-Gem hybrid, not only fusing with one organic human but two at the same exact time! I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes! I have so much to ask them when they return, like what the balance between the three of them sharing the same headspace is like, what possible weapons and abilities they might have at their disposal, what they might possibly refer to themselves as-”

“Dipevebel.”

Everyone jolted in surprise as they all turned to see none other than the fusion themselves, strolling over to meet them from around the corner of the barn. Their expression was relaxed and bright as they smiled at the stunned group, barely even seeming to take notice in just how shocked they all were at their sudden, unexpected return.

“W-what?” Ford spoke up, his eyes wide as he looked the fusion up and down.

“Well, I dunno how to really answer those first two questions,” they began, two of their hands in their pockets while their spare rested casually behind their head. “But I do have an idea for what I’d like to be called and that’s it: Dipevebel. I know its not exactly the easiest name to roll off the tongue, but its kinda the best you can expect when you have to combine Dipper, Steven, and Mabel together, like I do. Still… I think it fits. Don’t you guys agree?”

While Ford, Pearl, and Amethyst were still much to baffled to really even say anything, Garnet stepped forward, demonstrating that even she was a bit shorter than the newly-named Dipevebel. “I do,” the Gem leader nodded with a clearly proud grin as she extended out a hand for the fusion to shake. “Its nice to finally meet you, Dipevebel.”

“Heh, honestly, it was nice for me to meet myself,” Dipevebel chuckled warmly. “Wait… that doesn’t make any sense. Or maybe it does in some deep poetic sort of way? …Eh, forget it. Guess what I’m trying to say is… its good to be here! Even if I… sorta ran away at first—ok, you know what, I should probably just stop rambling.”

“Oh, I like this one!” Amethyst laughed, amused. “They’re like all of Maven’s fun and all of Stepper’s funny awkwardness wrapped up into one rad, three-eyed, three-armed package!”

“Huh… a fusion of Maven and Stepper…” Dipevebel mused. “You know, I haven’t thought of us like that before, but in a way, I guess that’s exactly what I am. Neat!”

“Well, you three certainly are impressive together,” Pearl said with a good-natured grin. “And I’m not just saying that because your mere existence is an incredible feat in and of itself—wait! T-that’s not what I-”

“Nah, its ok, Pearl,” Dipevebel laughed, setting the white Gem’s belief that she had offended them at ease. “Even I gotta admit that it is kind of crazy that I can even be here at all, but just for the record, I’m really glad that I am.”

“And we’re glad that you are too,” Garnet nodded supportively.

“Indeed we are!” Ford chimed in with renewed enthusiasm, his pen ready to take down as many notes as he could about this incredible new fusion. “Now, you kids wouldn’t mind if I asked you one, or two, or several questions about your physiology and abilities as a fusion, would you?”

“Ah, w-well…” Dipevebel trailed off, glancing down with a bit of an awkward smile. “I’d love to, but if its all the same to you Mr. Grunkle Ford, we’d—or, I’d… kind of like to have a bit of time just to ourselves, if that’s ok.”

The author took pause at this, surprised, and though disappointment briefly flashed across his expression, he ultimately smiled in acceptance, knowing that there’d certainly be time to investigate this miraculous, newly-formed fusion again some other day. “O-of course it is,” he nodded humbly as him and the Gems stepped out of the fusion’s way. Dipevebel offered them all another cordial grin as they left, only to be stopped by a certain green Gem as she happened to venture out of the barn at that exact moment.

“Hey!” Peridot snapped as she accitentally ran right into the much-taller fusion. “What’s the big ide—oh, great…” she groaned, glaring up at Dipevebel, unimpressed. “Its all three of you clods, fused and formed into one giant clod, just what we need around here…”

Instead of taking offense at the green Gems disparaging remarks, the fusion simply smiled in amusement at them, playfully patting Peridot on the head as they stepped passed her. “Its nice to see you too, Peridot,” they said, bidding her off with a friendly wave before heading off on their own.

“Ugh, fusion…” the green Gem groaned in disgust as she stood alongside the others and watched Dipevebel head past the edge of the barn. “What’s it even good for anyway?”

“More than you could ever know,” Garnet replied, her pride in the trio still apparent as she glanced slightly upwards, to the roof of the barn where their fusion took up their perch. “They’re proof enough of that.”

The summer sunset was peaceful and warm, accented by a light, easy breeze and early crickets chirping in the early evening. Dipevebel sat alone and silent on top of the barn, taking it all in and not needing any words to convey just how harmonious and happy they felt at that moment.

They had been told before that fusion represented relationships, bonds formed between Gems (or in their case, between humans and Gems), brought to life in entirely new, but familiar beings. Dipevebel themselves had already realized that, in a way, they represented not just one relationship, but several: the dedicated, devoted sibling bond between Dipper and Mabel, the unlikely, but undeniably close connection between Steven and Dipper, the warm, playful friendship between Mabel and Steven. All of these things were what created Dipevebel, what tied them together and kept them close. The fusion themselves cherished those connections and the feelings they brought them deeply, knowing that for as long as they or any of the individual parts that composed them existed, they’d never let any of them go.

As the sun finally disappeared beyond the distant hills and the sky settled into the cool shade of night, Dipevebel finally slowly came undone on their own accord. The act of unfusing was smooth and mutual, but even as they came apart, they were still together, enveloping each other in a loose yet fond three-way hug. None of them said anything as they kept up their contented smiles and upheld this comforting embrace, wanting to hold onto it and the simple happiness it brought them for as long as possible, and even after that.

Next: 

[asflowersfade]

Ficlet: Curiosity Killed the Cat

Another ficlet set in my The Cop and His Professor Guardian AU where Zhao Yun Lan is still a cop and Shen Wei is still a professor but there’s nothing weird or supernatural going on.

And now it’s up to Shen Wei to explain things. Of course it is, of course...

Shen Wei loves his husband, he really does. But sometimes, very occasionally, once in a blue moon… he doesn’t like him much.

Shen Wei’s cooking dinner - it helps him relax and unwind after a long day and a proper meal at least once a day helps keeping Yun Lan’s gastritis in check - when there’s a rattle at the door, the-key-in-the-lock kind of a rattle, and then the door bursts open, admitting Yun Lan… and Da Qing.

That wouldn’t be all that surprising if his husband’s colleagues - “Minions, Shen Wei, they’re my minions!” - knew about their marriage. Which they don’t. But... lo and behold, Da Qing, his husband’s SIC, there, on the threshold. So... 

Shen Wei stands there, a knife in one hand and a half-peeled apple in the other, eyebrows raised, eyes blinking. To which Da Qing responds pretty much in the same way, minus the cooking ware and half-processed food, that is.

This startled moment’s broken when Yun Lan groans and sways and Shen Wei finally notices that all that’s holding his husband upright is Da Qing’s shoulder and his strong arm around Yun Lan’s waist. It takes Shen Wei one glance to figure out what’s going on: Yun Lan’s pale, sweaty and he’s squinting hard against the soft afternoon light falling in through the kitchen window.

Migraine.

Shen Wei doesn’t exclaim his husband’s name - not only would that be rather undignified and more than a little unhelpful in this case, Yun Lan’s head would definitely not appreciate such a proclamation of concern - he simply sets the knife and the apple down, quickly washes his hands and heads across their open space apartment towards where Da Qing and Yun Lan are still standing, swaying slightly.

“I’ll take him from here, thank you,” Shen Wei say to Da Qing with quiet authority that leaves no room for objection and gently takes his husband out of the other cop’s hands.

Carefully, holding Yun Lan up with an arm around his shoulders, Shen Wei leads him towards the bedroom where he helps his husband sit down on the bed slowly, knowing that any fast movements might result in violent bodily reactions of the unpleasant kind.

When Yun Lan’s finally sitting down, Shen Wei crouches down in front of him and rests one hand, cold from washing, on Yun Lan’s forehead. Yun Lan moans softly and leans against the touch, closing his eyes gratefully.

“How bad?” Shen Wei asks.

“Ugh,” is the only answer he gets.

“Will a pill be enough or do you need something stronger?”

“Ugh.”

Shen Wei nods. “Alright,” he says and gets up to fetch his husband a glass of water and his medicine. Most of the time, he can read his husband like an open book which is really good in situations like this. Honestly, how did Yun Lan even survive before he met Shen Wei?

And all this time, he can feel Da Qing’s intent glare burning holes into his back. He will deal with the man, just not now. Later will be fine.

Pill swallowed and water sloshed all over Yun Lan’s trembling hand, Shen Wei helps him take off his jacket and his shoes and his jeans, while muttering very softly under his breath, “You’re a fool and if you weren’t so miserable, I would throttle you. Always waiting till the last possible second. Never taking care of yourself. Tired of living, that’s what you are!”

He helps Yun Lan lay down and as he covers him up to his chin, making him as comfortable as possible, Yun Lan cracks one eye open and catches his hand, holding it surprisingly firmly, considering. “But you like me anyway, right?” he croaks out, going for a smile and failing.

“No, I don’t,” Shen Wei mutters - but then, belying his own words, he bends down and kisses Yun Lan gently on the forehead, whispering, “Sleep now.”

And for once, his husband actually listens to him, and curling up on his side with his back to the rest of their apartment, he buries his face in his pillow with a soft moan. Shen Wei stands there for a moment longer, staring down at him. What to do with such a fool?

Then Shen Wei closes the blinds on the windows around the bed - and with a fortifying deep breath he turns around to face the other man in their apartment.

Yun Lan told him once that Da Qing reminded him of a cat: hissing and bristling, pretending not to care, but actually attached to you for life and with a surprising capacity for love. Shen Wei knows a little about their common past, Yun Lan and Da Qing’s, about how Yun Lan got Da Qing off the streets, how he helped the younger man finish high school, how he made sure Da Qing would be accepted to the police academy… Shen Wei knows some of that, so he can only imagine how hurt Da Qing will be when he finds out that Yun Lan got married without ever even mentioning dating anyone.

And now it’s up to him, Shen Wei, to explain all of that to Da Qing, of course. If Shen Wei weren’t certain that Yun Lan’s migraine isn’t faked, he would suspect his husband of setting this whole thing up. Like he said: sometimes, very occasionally, once in a blue moon… he doesn’t like Yun Lan all that much.

The moment Shen Wei turns around, Da Qing opens his mouth to say something, probably to demand what Shen Wei is doing in his boss’ apartment. But before he can do that, Shen Wei lifts a stern finger to stop him and beckons him towards the kitchen, away from where Yun Lan’s sleeping. Da Qing’s glare turns even darker but he goes.

“What are you doing in Chief Zhao’s apartment, Professor Shen?” Da Qing demands the moment they walk around the kitchen counter, making it as far away from the sleeping space as possible without actually leaving the apartment.

Yes, Shen Wei was reading his expression right. And yes, Da Qing obviously still remembers him from the murder investigation at the Dragon City university that’s now almost two years back. Well, at least Shen Wei won’t have to actually introduce himself again. That would make this whole thing even more awkward. As if this could be any more awkward.

Clearing his throat, Shen Wei decides to be frank. “Yun Lan and I got married last year,” he states in a surprisingly collected voice that seems to do the job and hide the fact that he would rather be somewhere else. Anywhere else. Please.

Da Qing gapes. “You did what when?” he asks in utter disbelief.

“We got married,” Shen Wei replies, though his seemingly calm posture is ruined slightly when he pushes his glasses up his nose in a fidgety tick that he simply cannot unlearn.

“I don’t believe you,” Da Qing states, crossing his arms over his chest.

Well, that’s… unexpected. Whatever reaction Shen Wei anticipated, being not believed wasn’t it. “I… I can show you our marriage certificate?” he offers, now almost blushing and maybe a little too wide-eyed.

“He would’ve told us!” Da Qing argues. “He would’ve told me!”

Yes, Yun Lan should have. Not that Shen Wei didn’t get why he decided to keep his marriage private - watching your mother die at the hands of a killer who took her life for no other reason than because she was your father’s, a cop’s, wife, messes with your head and gives you anxieties no one else can truly grasp - but not telling even your closest friends…

“Nobody knows,” Shen Wei explains. “Well, except for his father who found out on his own and who doesn’t exactly… agree. With us. Yun Lan and me.”

Da Qing narrows his eyes but Shen Wei can feel he scored some points with him for being on Old Zhao’s bad side. Yun Lan’s team respects his father, certainly, as a policeman, for everything that he achieved in his life, but there’s no love lost between them either. They might not know what exactly happened between Yun Lan and his father but if they had to choose, they would always take their chief’s side.

Da Qing stares at him for a very long time, so long actually, that Shen Wei starts fidgeting slightly. Then, with a surprising perceptiveness, Da Qing says quietly, “It’s because of his mom, right? She died because of his dad’s job and he doesn’t want anything like that to happen to you, right?”

His eyes look surprisingly old and wise for such a young man, Shen Wei thinks. But then, he can only guess what Da Qing has been through, out on the streets. He hasn’t probably been really young for a very, very long time now.

Shen Wei looks straight at him. “Yes,” he answers simply.

Da Qing nods to himself. “I’m still furious with him and I’ll make him pay for lying to me, I will, you can bet on that, but… I guess I can understand that-that need to protect someone you love.”

Then he takes a fast, belligerent step forward, getting all in Shen Wei’s face, making Shen Wei blink nervously and lean back a little - and push his glasses up his nose again. “You be good to him, you hear me?” he hisses at Shen Wei, eyes blazing. “I’ll keep my eyes on you. And if you hurt him, I’ll... do something very bad to you.”

As strange as it sounds, that threat warms Shen Wei’s heart, the fact that Yun Lan has people in his life who love him and who will fight for him. It makes Shen Wei… calmer, more certain that Yun Lan will always have someone to lean on, no matter what.

“I would never hurt him,” Shen Wei says earnestly. “I believe in protecting him as much as you do.”

Da Qing studies him suspiciously a moment longer, then he jerks his right hand up, just the pinky extended towards Shen Wei. “Pinky swear on that?”

Pinky… swear? Shen Wei thinks, blinking down at the hand stuck out in his direction. He has no idea what that means but if it convinces Da Qing of his honest intentions, then… why not?

Smiling a little, Shen Wei lifts his hand and hooks his pinky around Da Qing’s who shakes their hands a little. “Pinky swear on that,” Shen Wei promises.

Then Da Qing sprawls against the counter, steals a piece of fish from the platter that Shen Wei prepared for dinner, and munching on it, he demands, “Now, give me all the embarrassing details, I want to know everything. I really need to make him suffer for lying to me and I need ammunition!”

And really, what can you say to that? Curiosity killed the cat... but satisfaction brought it back, didn’t it?

[renegade-skywalker]

Midnight Flight, Chapter 6

The final chapter, posted today to line up with @finnreyfridays of course :)

Chapter 1: Midnight Flight (tumblr) (AO3) Chapter 2: Homestead (tumblr) (AO3) Chapter 3: Forgotten Ruins (tumblr) (AO3) Chapter 4: First Steps (tumblr) (AO3) Chapter 5: Ghosts of the Jedi (tumblr) (AO3) Chapter 6: A New Hope (tumblr) (AO3)

Summary:  Sometimes the future begins in the past, and sometimes the past simply needs to be remembered before we move forward.

It was one thing learning about the fall of the Empire as a First Order initiate, and it was another hearing it from the mouth of Poe, someone who’d grown up on war stories and lived in the world his parents had fought for. But it was something else entirely to hear it from General Leia Organa herself, Princess of the former planet Alderaan, Imperial Senator and Rebel Spy, sister of Jedi Luke Skywalker and the daughter of the Emperor’s Right Hand, Darth Vader. But she went on to emphasize the father who raised her, Imperial Senator Bail Organa, whose station she assumed at the young age of 18, and whose death she still mourned with each passing day, the loss of him, her adoptive mother, and Alderaan raw again after what Starkiller Base did just a few days ago.

Did Kylo know? Or was he so swept up in the myth of Vader to realize he was insulting the memory of another grandfather, too?

It was strange to think of General Organa as all of these things at once, and even more than that, yet still just a woman all the same, no different than the rest of them. She truly was a kaleidoscope of a person, having taken on so many titles and been through so much. And here she was, by their side, recounting everything that had happened in spite of everything she’d lost along the way, smiling wryly at them as she recounted every detail.

“I’d say this story might sound better over drinks, but-” she joked good-naturedly, looking around the archive as a knowing look grew in her eye, “I think this place does nicely.”

Finn and Rey looked up along with her, as if they might find something new there. The archive seemed bluer now somehow, each datapad glowing in full, every battery now running at capacity.

“I knew he was gone, but-” Leia smiled, her dark eyes sad, “He’s here, somehow. I feel it.”

“Luke,” Rey answered, her voice quiet and knowing. Leia nodded.

Rey nodded in turn, understanding, before shaking her head and slowly returning to her feet to meander the room, thinking.

Finn was full of questions, but he knew now was not the time to ask. He had a vague idea of what had transpired before he woke from his coma, what transpired with Rey and Luke, and what else was happening on Crait before he and Rose had arrived. Somehow, Luke factored into the final fight - he thought he saw a flash of lightsaber light from the base, but he hadn’t been sure.

He still wasn’t sure, but something told him that they weren’t alone now. He could feel a warmth in the room, he’d known it before he and Rey even entered the space, and even once they’d entered. He couldn’t say the sprite he saw that lead him here was Luke, but perhaps not something so dissimilar, if that made any sense.

“It may not seem like it,” Leia said quietly, placing a warm hand on Finn’s arm, speaking to him alone as Rey surveyed the room in thought, “But you and I are a lot alike.”

Finn only cocked his head slightly before she elaborated.

“You feel it too, the way I do.”

It wasn’t so much of a question as it was a statement, and she didn’t say it outright but he knew she meant the Force.

“It’s a quiet thing, for us. Something at the back of the mind, a feeling. A strong, undeniable thing. Like a truth, something you don’t quite remember learning but somehow you know to be indisputably true.”

Goosebumps spread along Finn’s arms as she spoke, her words resonating within him as he nodded almost involuntarily, more reflex than reaction.

“It’ll come easier, in time,” she assured, squeezing his arm where her hand laid, “Can’t speak for the weirdness, though. That feeling tends to stick.”

Finn laughed softly, knowing exactly what she meant, thankful for the lightness of her demeanor despite the subject - and everything else.

Leia let go of him, patting him gently before completely moving away, standing again to join Rey. She was standing at the far end of the room now, looking at the pyramidal crystal from earlier as it caught the light in the palm of her hand.

“Is there room on the Falcon?” she asked, already eager, “For all of this? I want to-”

Rey paused, laughing despite herself before continuing.

“I want all of us to look through these. I think we should.”

Leia was already nodding before Rey finished speaking, nodding sagely as she approached her.

“I think that’s exactly why we’re here,” she said, agreeing, running a ringed finger along the gilded edge of the pyramid in Rey’s hand. “Luke may have found this place if he’d kept looking. If he’d not lost hope.”

Hope.

She said it as if the word pained her but powered her somehow.

“I think he wanted me to find this place, for us to come here and to-” she smiled, shaking her head, “I’m not sure exactly. Probably learn something. As one does.”

“Luke spoke about ending the Jedi, but it seems like the books keep getting all the wrong parts right, and the right parts wrong,” Rey said, “I think what he meant was that the Jedi needed to completely start over. Maybe not end entirely but-”

“Start fresh,” Finn finished, “Learning from the past, not forgetting it.”

Leia looked between Rey and Finn, a glimmer of pride in her gaze as her eyes travelled the space between them.

“If my life has taught me anything, it’s that history is doomed to repeat itself if forgotten.”

Only now was the pain evident in her words, and it was hard not to know why - the regime she fought so hard to defeat as a young woman had been supported by her own father only to be resurrected by her very son. If anyone knew the danger of things forgotten, stories twisted and skewed, it was General Organa.

“It cannot happen, not again,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “Not after all we fought for.”

Finn knew Leia meant the Rebellion, her adoptive father, and everyone that perished on Alderaan, but she also meant everyone after - her husband, her brother, and her son that was lost to them completely.

Finn and Rey looked at one another, their gazes locking and within the span of a moment, a thought formed, and somehow Finn knew Rey felt it, too. Neither of them had ever had so much to lose - until now. The thought of losing Rey made Finn’s blood run cold, a lump already forming at the back of his throat. Rey’s lip twitched, somewhere between a frown and a smile, lingering somewhere bittersweet and wistful, and as Finn gazed eagerly back at her he also sensed the same warmth he felt when their bodies collided again on Crait, the rocks parting so Finn could make his way back to her, and she to him.

Home. This was home, now. And Rey his family, Finn hers. It was all of them now, everyone back on the Falcon , and anyone beyond who might still help, anyone who had hope. They’d all lost so much, but even at the start of it all, Finn and Rey had somehow found each other.

And everything this forgotten archive held - knowledge, history, wisdom, stories long forgotten and people long gone - they were here for them, as they would be always and were meant to be, Finn knew somehow. The archive hummed around them now, full of light and life, as if the room were an engine running, awaiting take-off.

“I’ll leave you two to comb the stacks,” Leia said, a soft smile teasing at the corners of her mouth. “I’ll bring the others around to check out the place, and we’ll take what we think we need.”

She looked around the room reverently, almost reluctant to leave, as if she were saying goodbye to another old friend. “Poe and the others will want to see this, too.”

Finn nodded, suddenly missing Poe terribly and wondering whether Rose was still stable, if she was okay. The Resistance were few, but they were his crew now, his squad, and Finn would do whatever he could to protect them. Maybe Rey was right, maybe it wasn’t too late for the other troopers. Maybe their family could grow.

Leia slipped from the room almost as quickly and quietly as she had come, running a hand along the ivy-riddled wall as she disappeared around the corner, and Finn could have sworn the room grew the smallest fraction of a bit darker, a glimmering glow following in her wake as she left. It was as if the room sighed along with her parting, and waited with baited breath for Finn and Rey to dig deeper into its depths.

Without thinking, without saying a word, Finn and Rey closed the distance between them, the crystal still held in Rey’s hands as she wrapped her arms around him, her grip tight and Finn’s tighter. There were no words, but he knew Rey felt it too. When they pulled apart, their arms still around one another, Finn placed a gentle kiss on Rey’s forehead. She smiled, her eyes still closed. Finn felt his cheeks grow hot as he apologized half-heartedly, “Just returning the gesture,” he half-whispered, half-spoke against her hair, “BB-8 showed me the recording, when you said goodbye.”

Rey opened her eyes as she looked up at Finn, smiling gently but earnestly.

“He recorded that?” she asked, bashful as she blushed.

“I thought it was weird, too, but-” they both laughed, still holding one another in the glow of the archive.

“Shall we get to work?”

“Let’s.”

They pulled away slowly, the warmth of each other’s skin still lingering as they moved to explore what this ancient place had waiting for them, whatever it was, and to whatever end. Finn wondered who brought it all here, and how, but somehow Finn knew it didn’t matter. All he knew was that it was here for a reason, and for now that was enough.

[smashbuddies]

Do it for Them: Pt. 6

Daniel stood diligently by His Diamond’s side, eyes trained firmly on the warp pad. The entirety of the Alpha Kindergarten waited behind the two of them with baited breath, only the occasional whisper stirring up to be silenced with harsh, muttered scolding. The wind had long died and the air felt so heavy and warm all thanks to the crimson ship looming above. Or rather, it’s passenger.

“What do you think Red will say?” His Diamond whispered to him. “I mean… They can’t be too happy right now.”

“Red Diamond has a history of cowing enemies with words before engaging in battle,” Daniel whispered back. His fingers played with the frills of his skirt. “I believe they’re going to do the same to you. They’ll try to convince you to stand down and continue the colony.”

“As if I’ll let that happen…”

The warp pad lit up, banishing all shadow for a moment before revealing Red Diamond. Tall, proud, hands laced behind their back and face stoney. They glanced down at Snail with just the slightest glimmer of amusement.

“You’ve made Gray quite angry,” they noted. “If you wanted attention, you didn’t have to go so far, Purple. He would very much like his Pearl back. And I don’t want to deal with this… War you’ve declared.”

“I’m not giving Lorna back,” His Diamond said boldly and puffed up their chest. And he knew they’d stick to their word. Lorna was essentially off the radar. No one but them and Daniel could find her. “No gem deserves to be treated like that! We’re all equals, Red!”

“You’re young,” Red sighed out, rubbing their forehead with a disgruntled scowl. “You don’t quite realize the way the hierarchy works. But you will learn, Purple. Once you conquer more planets, Gray and I will-”

“No! I’m not destroying more planets for you!”

Red blinked, then looked them over with a sneer. “I see. It was a mistake to let you start your own colony. I thought you had matured in these last thousand years, but now I realize you’re nothing more than an optimistic, acting like you’ve just emerged, Purple. You think the world is so complex, with so much nuance, but it’s not.”

“It is,” His Diamond insisted, one hand to their chest and the other clenched tightly by their side. “We’ve been here for hundreds of years now, but you only need one day to see how amazing everything is! The life here, it’s so complex and diverse, and the people, they-”

“Enough, Purple!”

The snarl was accompanied by a wave of heat, like scorching hot fire washing over the whole area. Daniel swallowed thickly and put a gentle hand on His Diamond, hoping to comfort them. And maybe himself.

“Tell me,” Red finally said once they had calmed down, their fingers fanned out in front of them as they looked out into the sea of gems. “What is the purpose of a Jade, again?”

His Diamond drew their lips into a thin line. “On Earth, we don’t-”

“Their purpose, Purple. What did you make them for when you first started this colony?”

“...To help expand the kindergartens and build more gem injectors,” His Diamond muttered reluctantly. “But-”

“And the Quartz? What do they do?”

“They protect the Jades while they work, but-”

“The Agates?”

“Ugh, they make sure everyone’s doing their jobs, but-”

“And what is your job?” Red Finally asked, eyes narrowed dangerously. “What purpose do you have, Purple?”

His Diamond looked ready to explode. Through gritted teeth, they hissed, “My purpose is to expand the empire and lead it. But I don’t want to. And none of my gems want to be stuck doing all this! They have potential, they can be whatever they want! We can all be whatever we want, we just need the chance!”

Red glared down at them for a moment, then let out a deep sigh and took on a look of pity. “I see what’s happened. You’ve started to believe that these lesser gems have the same cognizance we do.”

“...What’s that supposed to mean?”

Red tutted and sauntered past them to more closely scrutinize the kindergarten gems. “It means that us Diamonds think on a more complex level than any other creature in the universe. We can feel, conceptualize, think outside the box and come up with ideas that no other could.” They turned back to Purple and swept their hand out. “But they can’t.”

“...That’s not true,” they said as they turned to Red, shoulders squared. “I know for a fact Daniel is way smarter than me! He comes up with most of my ideas!”

“Oh, you think your Pearl is that complex?” Red asked coldly, glancing at Daniel. “It’s just a doll. A toy for you to play with, nothing more than what you make it out to be. An extension of yourself, so to speak. It would never be anything without an owner.”

Those words stung, and he gingerly moved himself back behind His Diamond to try and hide from Red’s gaze. But it made Daniel think… Were they right? Was he really his own person, or just an empty vessel for a drop of His Diamond’s thoughts?

“He could be so much more if he wanted!” His Diamond argued with a step forward, as if trying to shield him from Red’s verbal onslaught. “On his own he could do amazing things! I know he could!”

Red’s eyes never left Daniel. “A Pearl is simply a tool for whoever owns it. If it breaks, it can be replaced. If its owner disappears, it can be reformatted for a new one…”

Invisible strings puppeteered him, forcing his arm up no matter how much he fought to keep it by his side. A star slowly appeared above his hand, but it wasn’t one of his. It was a jagged, uneven looking thing, all malformed and sinister, and every single second it took to form hurt. Like he was drawing too much of himself into it. And too much of something else that didn’t belong. His arm shook, and the pain only got worse as he held it, eyes still glued to Red Diamond’s, a haze settling over him and jumbling his thoughts.

Eliminate Purple Diamond. Do it. That is your order, you know they won’t win this war. They’ll be shattered. But now they’ll be poofed and kept safe. Isn’t that what you want, Daniel? To keep Your Diamond safe? Do it for them.

That was all he wanted. If they were safe, then he could exist happily knowing that he served his purpose. He slowly looked to His Diamond’s back. Yes, all he had to do was poof them…

“Daniel isn’t a tool!” His Diamond’s words cut through to him, striking deep. “He feels and he thinks and he has the most wonderful personality and… He cares about me so much! And I care about him! That’s why I know he’s a million times the gem any of us Diamonds are!”

What was he doing? He couldn’t betray His Diamond, but he couldn’t stop. It was like trying to push against a wall. The star he summoned wouldn’t go away, his body just wouldn’t listen to him. But he had to try something.

“Mmm…”

Red kept his mouth shut. But Daniel wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

“You just can’t understand something not having the same capacity that we do,” Red replied smoothly. “But in time, you will. We all have our place in the universe. Some are just lower than others.”

“My D-Dia…!”

Finally, they turned around. Both Diamonds looked equally shocked for a split-second before he let the star loose, unable to control himself any longer. As it shot right for His Diamond, he collapsed to his knees and used the last of his energy to shout.

“Move!”

A gasp resounded through the sea of gems. Daniel looked up to see that His Diamond had thrown themself out of the way, just in the knick of time. Much to his relief, they weren’t even harmed. But then their head whipped around to look at where the star actually hit, and he followed suit.

For a split-second, Red disappeared- only their glimmering gem floated in the air before they reformed around it, hair tousled, lips pulled back into a vicious snarl as waves of heat rolled off of them.

His Diamond scrambled to the feet and scooped him up, hands protectively cupped around him. Daniel couldn’t see anything but the purple of their gloves and the smallest sliver of sky.

“Alright, Purple,” Red spat, the sound of their boots against the warp pad loud. “If you want a war, then you best prepare yourself. It’s two against one, and you are severely lacking in everything.”

The warp pad whirred to life, only giving Red enough time for one last comment.

“And once this war is won, Black will make sure to fix each and every last gem in your court. Especially that Pearl.”

Their hold on him tightened, and he just then realized that he was shaking.

“I’m sorry, My Diamond… I c-couldn’t…”

They shushed him and moved quickly. “Don’t worry about it. Just get some rest.”

Daniel closed his eyes, and did just that. His Diamond’s warmth radiated off of him, and he fell into a pleasant state of just existing with no thoughts or worries. Just feelings.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Like, really sure?”

Daniel sighed and crossed one leg over the other, eyes firmly on His Diamond from his perch in their throne. “Of course. You really didn’t have to wait by my side this whole time. Now all the gems on Earth are probably worried to pieces.”

They blanched and glanced off to the side. “I, well- look, I had to make sure you were okay!”

“I appreciate the concern, My Diamond,” he said earnestly. “But, well… I’m more worried about you. How-”

“I’m fine,” they answered a little too quickly and swept a hand through their hair. “I just, you know. Almost got poofed. And now we’re in a war. And I don’t even want to know how Black is going to react to all this, or Gray, or how this war is gonna play out, is it gonna be here? Are we gonna fight on Homeworld? Or should I make ships so we can fight in space?”

Daniel frowned and stared down at his lap. “I don’t know, My Diamond. Sorry, I don’t think I’m quite in the right state to come up with ideas, or even try to figure out this whole mess we’ve gotten ourselves into.”

They hummed, then took a deep breath. “That’s okay,” they assured him after a long moment. Then they shot him that devious grin of theirs. “But hey, did you see how you poofed Red? I mean, I don’t think anyone’s poofed a diamond before, let alone a Pearl! And my Pearl too!”

Their Pearl. It was so wonderful to hear.

The look on his face must’ve been obvious. Their cheeks fill with color, and they waved their hands in front of themself while they stammered out, “Uh, I mean, not my Pearl, but… My Pearl, you know?”

He cocked his head. “No, My Diamond. I don’t.”

For a moment, they looked conflicted. Then they gingerly grabbed his hands, and took a knee, head bowed in almost reverence as they repeated themself softly, “My Pearl.”

Daniel froze. Every last ounce of his coding told him how wrong this was. A Diamond bowing to a Pearl? Preposterous! But a surge of emotion swelled inside him, and all he could do to fight against it was whisper a “My Diamond?”

“No, you don’t have to call me that anymore,” they said, finally looking up at him. Oh, that smile. “We’re equals. You can just call me Snail.”

Absolutely not.

But he forced a smile, and even if it felt too sweet on his tongue, he managed to say, “Of course, My… Snail. Whatever you want.”

Even if it felt a little wrong, the look on their face was worth it a million times over. They rose to their feet and let his hands fall from their hold, but then got a thoughtful look on their face. “Guess I have to go talk to everyone now, huh? What am I supposed to say?” A grimace crossed their face. “Sorry, I know you said-”

“Well,” he gently interrupted as he reached back up for their hands, “I think I can handle a little speech. Let’s see…”

Honesty. That was the first thing that came to mind. It was a virtue His Diamond held in spades- far better than the others. But it would be rough, of course.

“Let them know what lies ahead,” he suggested carefully. “Be honest, but not brutal. Let everyone know that it’ll be rough, but… That there’s hope. Even with a war, we can make this our home, and treat it the way it deserves. All we have to do is work together. Some can fight, others can build. Every gem can find its own purpose, and that’s what’ll help us pull through.”

They stared at him with bright eyes. “I can’t believe how good you are with words. Maybe you should lead this whole rebellion!”

“Oh no, I couldn’t!” The very thought made Daniel seize up inside. Even if it also made him feel warm. “I’m just a Pearl, I have no experience leading. And this is too important for me to try and take the reigns of. You have more of a presence, all of our gems will listen to you. You can be the voice and I’ll just help you as needed.”

“Right, yeah,” they said and swept the back of his hands with their thumbs. “And as much as I hate to say it, the other Diamonds wouldn’t take you seriously… But our gems will know that you’re second in command!”

His face grew hot and his hands tightened his hold on them just a touch. “I appreciate that, My- Snail. And I’m more than happy to serve by your side.”

For what felt like an eternity, they just stared down at him, their smile slowly fading but the pure affection never leaving their eyes. Then their hand cupped his face, and he leaned into it on instinct.

“You make me feel like I can do anything,” they whispered quite suddenly. “You have no idea how happy I am to have you, Daniel. And I suck with words, but it’s just so much.”

Daniel felt a fluttering inside him. It was so easy to fall deep into these feelings. So easy to open up. He gave them a cocky smirk. “Of course, My Diamond. You wouldn’t be where you are without me.”

Their eyes widened, then they snorted and poked at his side. “Someone’s getting a little full of himself, huh?”

Oh no. He immediately bowed his head. “I’m sorry, I-”

“Hey, no, it’s okay,” they soothed. “I like it. And I mean, if anyone deserves to be confident, it’s you. Daniel, the Pearl who poofed a Diamond! You’ll be like a hero or something! Everyone will know your name!”

Everyone will know his name? Hmmm...

That sounded quite nice.

[pigmentation21]

Beer for kidney stone vedas

Beer for kidney stone

Passing a kidney stone should be just about as difficult as conceiving an offspring. Considering I have a <1% of conceiving an offspring (who can say for sure what's in store) and a 19% shot at shaping a kidney stone, I'd prefer to limit my danger however much as could reasonably be expected! I've gotten many clashing thoughts on the connection among lager and kidney stones. Does brew forestall kidney stones? Or on the other hand does it cause them?

Brew doesn't straightforwardly cause kidney stones. However, it can prompt weight gain, lack of hydration, and expanded purine levels, which can hypothetically prompt an expanded danger. Nonetheless, studies have shown that drinking brew and wine can decrease your danger of getting kidney stones. At last, there are better approaches to lessen your danger of kidney stones.

Thus, since we have our reply, it is presumably best that I account for myself! How might drinking lager forestall kidney stones while additionally expanding hazard?

What Are Kidney Stones?

Kidney stones are strong bits of material that start to frame inside your urinary parcel. The urinary lot comprises of the kidneys, urethra, bladder, prostate (in men), and urethra. A kidney stone will frame in the kidney and goes down the urinary parcel in your pee.

In the event that the kidney stone is sufficiently little, you may not take note. Your pee might be cloudier than expected, yet that is it. Issues happen when the kidney stone expands. A kidney stone that is bigger than 5mm is sufficiently huge to cause a blockage. Assuming the stone causes no side effects, it very well may be overlooked. In any case, in case there are any manifestations it should be taken out. Indications of a kidney stone blockage include:

Torment from your lower back to your inward thigh (known as Renal Colic)

Sweat

Sickness

Expecting to pee earnestly

Heaving

In the event that any of these manifestations are available, no brew on the planet will help you! Get yourself some clinical consideration. On the off chance that you have a huge kidney stone (98% of kidney stones are adequately little to pass normally), then, at that point you will either have it eliminated utilizing shock wave treatment, or you should have it precisely eliminated.

Various Forms of Kidney Stone

You might be astounded to realize that there are a few distinct types of kidney stone.

Calcium Oxalate: The most widely recognized type of kidney stone by a wide margin is calcium oxalate. This is brought about by pee that is acidic and can be influenced by an eating regimen that is high in calcium. This will be a kick in the teeth for any individual who has as of late began eating more green verdant vegetables (which are high in calcium).

Calcium Phosphate: Nowhere close as normal, this type of kidney stone is brought about by pee that is soluble instead of acidic.

Uric Acid: Keep this one as a top priority for some other time. One more extraordinary type of kidney stone, shaped by significant degrees of purines in the eating routine. These can be found in creature items and brew!

Struvite Stones: Second most normal type of kidney stones, not influenced by diet

Assuming you have a kidney stone, the odds are good that it will either be a calcium oxalate one or a struvite stone. As 80% are calcium oxalate stones, and 5-10% are calcium phosphate, you find out about how uncommon different structures are.

Does Beer Cause Kidney Stones?

The odds of brew straightforwardly causing kidney stones are unimaginably low. However it is conceivable. Brew is high in purines, a substance compound that is found in all food varieties. Be that as it may, brew (and a few different types of liquor) are especially high in purines. Significant degrees of purine in brew can cause a development in uric corrosive. Liquor likewise hinders the body's capacity to kill uric corrosive. A one-two punch!

In this way, there is potential for brew to be the reason for uric corrosive kidney stones. In any case, it ought to be focused on that heftiness is a greater danger factor for uric corrosive kidney stones. Also, uric corrosive kidney stones are quite uncommon. Brew isn't answerable for calcium oxalate kidney stones, nor struvite stone. Both of these cosmetics around 80-90% of all kidney stones.

Yet, lager drinking can by implication cause kidney stones. One of the normal reasons for kidney stones is lack of hydration, and we realize that lager can dry out you on account of my article regarding the matter. Weighty drinking over a delayed period can likewise prompt corpulence, which is one of the main sources of kidney stones. Add to that the strain that drinking places on the kidneys, which can cause kidney infection (another reason).

Having said all that, the possibilities that the brew in your grasp will cause kidney stones are very low.

The vast majority who get kidney stones have basic conditions (individuals with Chrones illness are almost certain to get kidney stones for instance). There is additionally a hereditary factor to consider. While lager can cause kidney illness and heftiness, it takes a great deal of brew to do that. Moderate to light lager drinking alone doesn't prompt kidney illness or corpulence. It is typically one of a few elements.

Primary concern: Yes, brew can cause kidney stones. However this is normally in a roundabout way through expanding your danger of corpulence and putting strain on your kidneys. The purine content of brew may likewise prompt kidney stones, however this is exceptionally uncommon.

Does Beer Prevent Kidney Stones?

Assuming quite possibly brew could cause kidney stones, how might lager forestall kidney stones? It's unquestionably a fascinating subject (essentially it is to me). On the off chance that you have the beginnings of a kidney stone, successive pee can assist you with passing it. Brew as a diuretic will expand pee, and because of the volume of lager, you drink it is more useful than different types of liquor. Recollect a lager is normally 95% water. Notwithstanding, you would likewise should drink sufficient water to stay away from drying out.

As a technique for overseeing kidney stones, lager is an OK arrangement. It builds pee and in blend with water could assist you with remaining hydrated. Picking a low-liquor brew (2-3%) would be your smartest choice. Keep in mind, the higher the liquor content, the less helpful it will be. Be that as it may, there are better techniques to expand pee. Simply drinking a ton of water would work for a beginning!

Be that as it may, does brew drinking forestall the arrangement of kidney stones in any case?

A recent report by Ferraro et al contrasted various beverages with see which beverages were bound to cause kidney stones. It tracked down that the people who drank lager consistently were 41% less inclined to foster kidney stones. This isn't in any case, the main review to have discovered that liquor can diminish the danger of creating kidney stones.

Studies by the very group in 1996 and 1998 likewise tracked down that customary utilization of liquor decreased the danger of kidney stones. The most probable justification for this might be that drinking can bring down degrees of antidiuresis chemical (the chemical that stops you peeing).

"Liquor ingestion is related with a diuresis; albeit some proof exists that liquor admission might diminish flowing degrees of antidiuretic chemical with resulting pee weakening" Ferraro et al 2013

Primary concern: There is a connection between regular brew drinking and a decreased danger of kidney stones, yet the reason is obscure. Regardless of whether it is relationship or causation is not really set in stone. Light to direct brew drinking could help, yet weighty drinking won't help.

The most effective method to Prevent Kidney Stones

At this point you are likely spurred to try not to get kidney stones in any case. However, what is the most ideal approach to that? All things considered, the following are seven different ways that might assist with forestalling kidney stones from shaping in any case.

#1 Reconsider that Vitamin C Supplement

This initial one isn't a conviction, yet there could be an association between high portions of nutrient C and kidney stone development. A recent report neglected to track down a solid affiliation, yet there is as yet a chance. The thought is that abundance nutrient C is changed over into oxalate which is then discharged through pee. Yet, the expanded oxalate can frame calcium oxalate. While the proof is so far uncertain, you might need to reexamine your nutrient C enhancement.

#2 Lower your Sodium Intake

Sodium has a great deal of medical advantages, so kindly don't attempt to kill it from your eating regimen. However, many individuals will in general devour significantly more sodium than they ought to. High sodium levels can be perilous for your wellbeing, however can likewise expand your danger of kidney stones. This is on the grounds that sodium can expand the measure of calcium in your pee. As we currently know, high calcium levels in your pee can transform into kidney stones.

#3 Stay Hydrated

At this point the significance of remaining hydrated ought to be clear. A 2016 meta-examination distributed in the Journal of Nephrology thought about the results of a few investigations into hydration and kidney stones. It found that drinking more water not just decreased the danger of repeating kidney stones, it diminished the danger of getting one in any case. The review found a:

"… essentially diminished danger of occurrence kidney stones among people with high liquid utilization. High liquid utilization additionally diminished the danger of repetitive kidney stones."

Cheungpasitporn et al 2016

#4 Swap Out Some Animal Protein for Plant-Based Protein

Prior to this next one, could any veggie lovers who are going to act self-satisfied simply recollect that one of the reasons for kidney stones is calcium that is found in dull mixed greens? Good wishes.

Creature protein is a likely reason for kidney stones. Actually like brew, creature protein (meat, dairy, and so forth) is high in purines, which can prompt overabundance uric corrosive. Meat can likewise be high in sodium. You don't have to eliminate meat and dairy from your eating routine, however trading in some plant-based protein sources sometimes couldn't do any harm.

#5 Consume More Citrus Fruit

At the point when life gives you lemons … ensure you tear them separated with your teeth and drink that sweet citrus extract down, consequences be damned. Since citrate in citrus organic products can assist with forestalling kidney stones! A recent report found that drinking lemonade (the one made with genuine lemons) worked on urinary citrate just as all out pee volume, making it successful at decreasing the danger of kidney stones.