#but i realized maybe!! maybe i could do eugene!!

[toddfrom]

Last night in a sleepy daze i decided im gonna cosplay eugene. Not sure where, not sure when, but i think i have a chance of pulling it off and it would probably be the most fun experience ever

[littlelamy]

I got some thoughts spinning from seeing how Drew looks as Eugene in Queer with glasses and all. So Soft Nerdy Rafe request?  Very golden retriever-y, a bit shy and sweet. Maybe they are making out for the first time and….sweet nerdy rafe….switches up….not so shy. Ahhh it’s such a weakness when shy boys just become so forward, manly and give into their desires 💘🥹

a/n: AHHHHH! im so happy that you requested a nerd!rafe!!!!! i hope you like it ⭐️

the library was quiet, the faint hum of fluorescent lights blending into the soft rustle of pages and distant murmurs. rafe cameron sat across from you, his glasses sliding down his nose as he frowned at the notebook in front of him. he was chewing on the edge of his thumb, a nervous habit you’d grown fond of, though it made you wonder if he realized how obvious he was being.

“you’re gonna wear your skin raw if you keep doing that,” you teased, nudging his foot under the table.

he looked up, startled, like you’d caught him mid-crime. “oh. right. sorry.” he dropped his hand, fiddling with his pen instead. “i’m just—this doesn’t make sense. none of it makes sense. why is calculus even a thing?”

you smiled, leaning forward to peek at his notes. his handwriting was neat, but his equations were a jumbled mess, arrows pointing in all directions. “you’re overthinking it,” you said, your voice soft. “here, look. you just forgot to carry the one.”

rafe groaned, his head falling onto the table with a dramatic thud. “i’m hopeless.”

“you’re not hopeless.”

“i am. you should just give up on me now.” his words were muffled by the wood, but you could still hear the pout in his voice.

“rafe.”

he peeked up at you, his cheek smushed against the table. “what?”

“you’re adorable when you’re dramatic, but you’re not hopeless.”

his face flushed a deep red, and he sat up quickly, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “i’m not adorable,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

“you are,” you said, leaning back in your chair. “but if you really want to prove me wrong, maybe stop staring at my lips and focus on your math.”

his eyes went wide, his ears turning pink. “i wasn’t—I wasn’t staring at your lips!”

“you were,” you said, smirking. “it’s okay, though. i don’t mind.”

he opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again, his throat bobbing as he swallowed hard. “you don’t?”

“nope.”

the air between you shifted, the tension palpable now. rafe’s gaze flicked to your lips again, this time more deliberate, and his hands fidgeted with the hem of his sweater.

“you know,” you said, breaking the silence, “you could just kiss me instead of acting like you’re solving a physics problem.”

his jaw dropped, and for a second, you thought he might actually combust. “i—i could?”

you laughed softly, reaching across the table to take his hand. “come here, rafe.”

he stood slowly, his movements awkward and unsure, like he wasn’t entirely convinced this was real. when he rounded the table and slid onto the bench beside you, his knee bumped yours, and he froze, looking at you with wide, anxious eyes.

“is this… okay?” he asked, his voice barely audible.

“more than okay,” you said, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

he hesitated for a moment longer, then leaned in, his lips brushing yours in the softest, most tentative kiss you’d ever experienced. his hands hovered near your waist, not quite touching, like he wasn’t sure where they belonged.

you deepened the kiss, your hand moving to his cheek, and he made a small, needy sound that sent a shiver down your spine. slowly, his hands settled on your hips, his grip uncertain at first but growing firmer as the kiss went on.

his lips were warm and slightly chapped, moving against yours in a rhythm that was both clumsy and endearing. but as the moments stretched, something shifted.

rafe pulled back just enough to catch his breath, his chest rising and falling as he looked at you with an expression that was equal parts awe and hunger. “is this… is this okay?” he asked again, his voice trembling.

“yes, rafe,” you whispered, your fingers threading through his hair.

that seemed to be all the reassurance he needed. when he kissed you again, it wasn’t tentative or shy—it was bold, almost desperate. his hands slid up your sides, his thumbs brushing the edges of your ribs, and his body pressed closer to yours, eliminating the small space that had existed between you.

you gasped against his lips, and he swallowed the sound, his confidence growing with each passing second. his glasses slipped down his nose again, but he didn’t seem to care, too focused on the way your lips moved against his.

“you’re so… perfect,” he murmured between kisses, his voice low and husky now, a far cry from the nervous stammering he’d started with.

your heart pounded in your chest, and you couldn’t help but smile against his lips. “you’re not so shy anymore.”

he pulled back just enough to look at you, his glasses crooked and his lips kiss-swollen. “guess you bring it out of me,” he said, a crooked grin spreading across his face.

“oh, so now you’re cocky?”

“maybe a little.” his grin widened, and he leaned in again, his lips finding yours with renewed fervor.

the kiss grew hungrier, his hands exploring more boldly now. one slid up to cup your face, his thumb brushing your cheek, while the other found the small of your back, pulling you flush against him.

you let out a soft moan, and he responded with a low groan that vibrated against your lips. it was like a switch had flipped—gone was the shy, bumbling rafe, replaced by someone who knew exactly what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to take it.

his tongue traced the seam of your lips, asking for permission, and when you parted them, he deepened the kiss with a confidence that made your head spin.

“God,” he muttered, his voice breathless. “you’re incredible.”

you were too dazed to respond, your fingers tangling in his hair as he kissed you like his life depended on it.

time seemed to blur, the world outside the library fading away until there was nothing but the feel of his lips on yours and the steady thrum of his heartbeat against your palm.

when he finally pulled back, his cheeks were flushed, his glasses fogged up, and his sweater slightly askew. “sorry,” he said, though the satisfied grin on his face suggested he wasn’t sorry at all.

“for what?” you asked, still catching your breath.

“for not doing that sooner.”

you laughed, pulling him in for another kiss. “you’re such a dork.”

“your dork,” he murmured against your lips, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“yeah,” you said, your voice soft. “mine.”

taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @kissrotten @rafesangelita @sstargirln @rafedaddy01 @soldesole @bakugouswaif @skywalker0809 @vanessa-rafesgirl @evermorx89 @aariahnaa @outerhills @ditzyzombiesblog

[lanadelnegan]

so basically instead of eugene its reader and negan finds it super hot that she's hot and has brains, and while she's explaining how to make bullets all he can stare at is how tiny her articles of clothing are and maybe fucks her in the building while the guards are right outside? love your writing

Ahhh i love this idea so much.

Smarty Pants

Negan x F!Reader

Warnings: 18+, smut, p in v, quickie with Negan while the others are outside

"And, so, yeah, that's how you make a bullet." You pushed your glasses further up the bridge of your nose, hesitantly looking up at the Savior's leader before you.

A smirk lingered at the corner of his mouth as his eyes slid slowly up your body before landing on your eyes. You blushed, realizing he'd been staring and silently praised yourself for choosing to wear a spaghetti strapped sundress today. It was yellow, your favorite color, and contrasted perfectly with your skin. You'd be lying if you said you weren't trying to impress him.

The only good thing about being at the sanctuary was getting to look at Negan everyday. Although you missed your friends back home, it wasn't so bad here. And, at least Daryl was here with you, even though he was a prisoner.

Your eyes flashed to Daryl, who standing behind Negan with cuffs shackled to his ankles and wrists. You felt an immediate sense of guilt every time you saw him. It wasn't fair that you got special treatment just for being highly intelligent. Daryl had just as much - if not more - to offer the saviors. The difference is, you were willing to succumb to them. To Negan.

Negan noticed you eyeing Daryl, making you nervously turn away and head inside. Before you could make it too far down the hall, Negan’s voice stopped you.

"Not so fast, smarty pants.” He slowly walked towards you, baseball bat in hand and your heart raced in your chest. You backed against the wall while Negan stood in front of you in a fitted white t-shirt.

"Darlin'. Have I properly thanked you for the service you're doing here?" His voice was deeper than usual and the sound of it alone made you wet.

"N-no, but no need, sir..”

"Oh, how inconsiderate of me." His voice boomed. “I would love the chance to show my appreciation to my sweet, little bullet maker. If you're up for it?"

You politely nodded and his grin deepened as he looked down at you.

"That’s a good girl." Lucille touched your ankle, stinging your skin but you didn't move. The head of the bat traced up your leg lightly, leaving a mark until it reached your sensitive thigh. You felt the bottom of your dress lifting as Negan watched.

"Like opening a birthday present, baby. Did you wear this pretty dress just for me?”

You nodded again, causing him to pull his bat away and lean it against the wall beside you.

“Can’t hear you, sweetheart. Speak when you’re spoken to.” He whispered in your ear.

“Y-yes. I wore it for you.” You admitted, earning a pleased chuckle from him.

“Yeah? You want my attention, baby? You’ve fuckin' got it.”

Your body shivered when his hand slid up your thigh and reached your panties. You were already soaked and from Negan’s reaction, it was obvious. He let out a satisfied groan before pressing his lips to the sensitive spot underneath your ear.

“So warm and wet for me already. Tell me what you want, darlin’.” He whispered, and you heard the sound of his pants quickly unzip.

"I want.. you to fuck me. Right here, please."

Negan chuckled and lifted you suddenly by your thighs, guiding your legs around his waist.

“That? Is exactly what the fuck I wanted to hear.”

He pulled your panties to the side while pressing you against the wall and entered you completely, not giving you time to adjust. Your mouth fell open into an "o" shape at how deep he went. You both let out a satisfied groan before his thrusts became steady and fast.

"Oh my goddd! It's so.. so.." You tried to finish your sentence but he took your breath away, so he finished it for you.

"Big. I know baby, and I am balls fucking deep in you right now. Taking me like a champ. I am so. fucking. proud. of you baby girl." He grunted while he spoke filthy words in your ear and you held onto him tight.

Burying your face into the side of his neck, you cried from the overwhelming fullness. Each one of his thrusts made your stomach tighten and your vision became blurry as you moaned loudly in his ear.

"Goddamn it, you feel so good wrapped around my dick. Who do you belong to?”

“You! Negan!”

“That’s fucking right, baby. You are mine.” He pumped into you harder, making you see stars as his hands squeezed your ass cheeks hard enough to leave bruises.

You could hear the guards talking right outside, knowing they could enter at any moment, but the thought of getting caught was even more thrilling. Your orgasm was coming quickly and so hard it made your eyes water.

"Ohhh fuck, I can feel you throbbing baby. Let me have it, cum for daddy." He sank his teeth into your neck, undoubtedly leaving a hickey.

“Negan! Negan! I’m cumming!” You screamed.

“Shit doll, me too. Fuck, fuck.” Negan groaned loudly as he came inside of you. He kissed you before setting you down on your feet and pulling out of you. Seconds later you felt your panties pool with his warm liquid and all you wanted to do in that moment was taste it.

"Goddamn that was exactly what I fuckin' needed!" He laughed, zipping himself back in his pants. "But I am nowhere near done with you, darlin'. How would you like stay in my room tonight?

"I thought.. that was just for your wives.."

"Jesus, I am so sorry." He said sarcastically. "I assumed you were one of them now considering I just fucked your brains out?"

Was he.. asking me to be his wife?

"Oh.. um. I mean, I want to be, so..." You paused, waiting for him to continue.

"If you're expecting a formal proposal, don't." He chuckled. "The only time you'll see me on my knees is when I'm eating that sweet pussy. Now sweetheart, we were not finished with our conversation outside. Let's go." He picked up Lucille and you followed him back outside, listening to his happy whistle as the rest of the group went silent and stared at us awkwardly.

Oh god, they totally heard everything.

"Continue." Negan demanded.

Simon cleared his throat and continued talking to the group. You shifted uncomfortably at the warmth in your panties, trying to focus on what they were saying but Negan's breath against your ear distracted you.

"Those panties stay on for the rest of the day. No exceptions."

[mrdixon]

55th Birthday

pairing: established daryl x f!reader

wc: 6k

warnings: 18+ content, lots of plot!!!!, reader shoots a deer, alcohol, little bit of tipsy sex, oral (male AND fem receiving), hair pulling, little talk about pregnancy, slight breeding kink…?, creampie

summary: daryls birthday celebration!!

A/N: birthday fic for daryl since its normans birthday 😋 also ive been doing a lot of established daryl x reader, lmk if yall want something different i just like the way husband/boyfriend daryl feels… probably wrote this on ovulation.

masterlist

“It's the uh sixth of January t’day,” Eugene read from his notebook.

“What!? Shit!” You ran out of the council hall, ignoring Eugene’s confused babbles.

Today was Daryl’s birthday and you completely forgot. To be fair, who was keeping track of time nowadays? Eugene was apparently. You bit your lip as you scurried back home, Daryl was out right now so you had time to collect something to give to him.

Maybe you could bake a cake? Not much to work with though… and he isn't a big fan of sweets. You walked up the porch stairs and walked into the house, kicking your shoes off haphazardly as you furrowed your brows in thought. You thought about making him some arrows, but you didn't have time to make them, nor did you have the material for them.

You walked into the kitchen, throwing open cabinets and pulling open drawers, scrambling for any sort of material you could use to make something. How old was this man turning? You wondered, pausing for a moment.

“Fifty… fifty…” you thought for a long moment, “not in his sixties for sure.” You shrugged and continued your search for materials. Judging by the years that passed he was probably in his mid fifties, the thought making you realize just how long you’ve lived in this apocalypse. You picked up some twine, closing the drawer and running up the stairs. It wouldn't be much but you decided to thread some of your ribbon and twine together as a little charm for his crossbow.

Daryl knew how much you loved your little miscellaneous rubbish, despite his complaints of finding buttons scattered around the house. He brought you back a little wooden box just for your stuff, it would convenience both of you. The box stood atop your nightstand, you flipped it open and plucked out a light pink ribbon, it was one you threaded into your hair occasionally. Daryl always commented on it so you figured maybe he’d appreciate it if he had something of you with him all the time.

You plopped down onto the bed and made a little pattern with the twine and ribbon, intertwining them together into a little bow at the end. He could honestly wear it as a bracelet if he really wanted to, but the thought of having a slightly feminine object amongst his manly crossbow was kinda cute.

You tucked the charm into the pocket of your jeans, grabbing your holster that was also on your nightstand and securing it around your waist. Your gun was placed in there along with your hunting knife that was gifted to you by Daryl himself. You made sure you were fit to go hunting before leaving the house, the only thing you had to do was find your husband now.

You hastily walked down the street towards the front gates where Rosita was keeping watch.

“Rosi!” You called out and ran the rest of the way, she turned and smiled at you, furrowing her brows in curiosity.

“Hey you, whatcha’ need?” She brushed off your shoulder, you just sighed and placed your hands on your hips.

“I need to find Daryl, it's his birthday. He come in yet?” You sighed, fumbling with your fingers.

“No shit?” She asked surprised to which you nodded, “nah he hasn't come in yet. Probably still around the usual hunting grounds.”

“I'm gonna go track him down then,” you muttered and clutched onto the handle of your hunter's knife. Rosita chuckled and moved to open the gate for you.

“Yeah you go do that, be safe.” You nodded halfheartedly and quickly walked out of the gates and towards the forest.

It was surprisingly clear today, you haven't seen any walkers yet. The sun was bright and the atmosphere was just generally, calm. It was a perfect day for Daryl's birthday. You found the markers that stated the hunting grounds and decided on tracking Daryl. He's taught you many of his hunting tactics so why not put them to good use?

This quickly turned out to be useless as Daryl was really cautious out in the woods, and he tended to take careful steps. Meaning, no tracks to track. You groaned as you stalked further into the forest with no hope of finding your husband… until.

Rabbit tracks. Knowing him, Daryl would be following after the rascal. So if you couldn't track his tracks, you’d track the rabbit’s. You kept your hunter’s knife in your hand to be wary of your surroundings, it was way too peaceful to be true. The rabbit had travelled far as you kept walking, and walking… and walking. Eventually you reached a clearing, and the rabbit’s tracks had stopped.

You groaned. You were hopeless. Of course you could always wait for Daryl to just come home, but you wanted to do something for once. Plus if you really did track him down, he'd for sure be proud. And you loved when he was proud of you. You thought about different ways to find him, but there was really nothing to do. He could’ve gone any which way out here, and with no other tracks to look at, it was a lost cause. That was what you thought until you heard the sound of what you believed were your husband's arrows being shot.

You quickly made your way towards the sound, making sure to stay hidden from his sight. After all this was supposed to be a surprise. The more you walked through the bushes, the more you could hear the faint sound of his footsteps. You peeked through the leaves of a bush and saw your husband looking around, he heard something, probably you. You ducked when his body turned in your direction, slowly standing up to see him facing the other before carrying on his journey.

You smirked, you felt like a spy dodging his glances and switching from tree to tree. You kept your distance to not get caught, staring at him from afar as he walked around looking for whatever animal he could get his hands on. The sun shone on his hair, highlighting the little specks of blond scattered amongst his brown locks. Those angel wings that hung from his broad shoulders surely displayed his character. Your eyes travelled down his arms, annoyingly covered by his shirt sleeves. His right hand held his crossbow idly by his side, the other holding that rabbit and his backpack. Daryl was beautiful, he didn't think so but you always reminded him.

You started to get closer to him, close enough to hear him grunt to himself as he sat on a log. You started to get closer from behind, holding your hands out to prepare covering his eyes. He placed his stuff down next to him and looked down at the rabbit in his hand, though not doing anything. Like he was expecting something.

You quickly covered his eyes, not feeling him flinch a bit.

“Guess who?” You taunted playfully, standing right behind him. You heard him snort, his shoulders shaking.

“If I didn’ know it was you, ya would've been shot dead a while ago.” He shook his head chuckling as you removed your hands from his eyes and moved around the log to stand in front of him, your hands on your hips.

“Jeez, you couldn't humour me just a little bit?” You frowned at his smug expression, he was playing around with the rabbit in his hands.

“Nah, ya gotta work on yer tracking. Could hear ya from a mile away,” he snorted seeing your annoyed expression while simultaneously looking you up and down. “Is tha’ my shirt yer wearin’?” You looked down at the shirt you were wearing, noticing how much looser it was on you.

“Yeah, I guess it is, why?” You asked while plucking a pine needle off of the fabric.

“Ya didn’ have any other shirt ta wear?” He furrowed his brows before stuffing the rabbit in his bag, his head tilting back to look up at you.

“I just grabbed a random shirt from my dresser, why? Would you rather I not wear anything?” You crossed your arms and watched as he looked you up and down again, saying nothing but raising his brows. You rolled your eyes, “don't answer that.”

“I ain’ sayin’ anythin’.” He raised both hands up defensively before patting down the spot next to him. You grumbled but sat next to him, sighing as you relaxed and lay your head on his shoulder. He hummed in acceptance, placing his hand on your knee. “So why’re ya ‘ere?”

You sat back up, you almost forgot the reason why you were out here.

“Right, shit.” You fished out the handmade charm from your pocket, holding it out in front of him. He chuckled, taking it from your fingers and taking a closer look at it.

“’s cute, this fer me?” You nodded in response and his lip curled into a smirk, “this tha’ ribbon ya put in yer hair?” You nodded again as he pointed to the pink ribbon amongst the twine.

“Thought it'd be cute if you had a little something of me near you when you're out, you can tie it to your crossbow.” You murmured shyly, feeling like a schoolgirl giving her crush valentines chocolate.

“I love it,” he smiled genuinely before grabbing his crossbow and putting it between his legs so he could tie it to the handle. “Perfect, but why the sudden gift? Ya dyin’ or somethin’?”

You chuckled, “well…” He sat up straight and shot you a concerned glance. “No, I’m not. I’m giving it to you cause it's your birthday.”

His concern flushed away with a look of confusion, his hand coming up to rub his chin.

“My birthday? How do ya even know?” He narrowed his eyes questioningly.

“Eugene.”

“Ah…”

He nodded, looking back down at the charm before looking back at you. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and brought you close, kissing your forehead.

“Well thank you, I ‘preciate it.” He rested his chin on the top of your head, stroking your hair. “My birthday, haven' had one in a while.. damn, ‘m fuckin’ old aren’ I?”

You snorted, moving out of his grasp to look up at him. “You're not that old,” he gave you a ‘yeah right’ kind of look. “No really! You look quite young for your age.”

“Sure thing, ya just like butterin’ up yer husband.” He sneered playfully, you punched his chest in turn while chuckling.

“We’re both getting old hun,” you sighed contently and leaned against his body, feeling him let out a tiny sigh of his own.

“Mhm, yer still hot as hell though.” You laughed, covering your face while you felt his body shake in silent laughter. “’m not lyin’.”

“I know you aren't,” you chuckled and sat up straight. “Okay but… you have to admit, I did somewhat a good job on tracking you.”

Daryl snorted and raised his brows at you, but immediately stifled his chuckle when you frowned.

“Okay, okay sure. Ya did do a good job, ‘sides scarin’ my deer away with yer big ass footsteps.” You groaned at his feedback, kicking his ankle gently. You looked away from him and felt a gentle kiss on the back of your head, his warm breath on your neck. “Nah seriously, ya did a good job locatin’ me.”

“Really?” You turned around to face him quickly, “mean it?” He chuckled as you beamed at him, nodding.

“Yes really, now ya wanna help me find that deer so we can all eat t’night?” He nudged you on your lower back, his fingertips grazing your ass. You glanced at him, noticing a cheeky grin before standing up.

“Sure, why not? Maybe you could help me track better,” you dusted off your backside and took out your hunter's knife. He stood up with a grunt, slinging his bag over his shoulder and grabbing his crossbow before leading the way.

“It went off in this direction, couldn’ ‘ave gone far.” He murmured lowly as he pointed towards the direction where the river was. You nodded and followed close behind him, wincing as you stepped on a few twigs. Daryl turned and smirked slightly, “alrigh’. Watch where ya step, find soft ground an’ take ligh’ footsteps.”

“I think that’s obvious,” you muttered and heard him snort, taking your hand in his.

“Look,” he pointed to a leaf on the ground with his crossbow. “Tha’s gonna crunch when ya step on it,” he looked at you to see if you were listening before continuing his tangent, “ya can tell if a leaf is crunchy if ‘s browned on the tips and edges. When the colour of the leaf is dull or muddy, it’ll be soft. So ya can step on it but ya have ta be careful ‘cause sometimes tha’s just the colour of the leaf.”

“Then what about twigs?” You squeezed his hand and swung his arm with yours back and forth while you two walked.

“Well those are gonna snap if ya step on ‘em obviously,” he rolled his eyes matter-of-factly. “Jus’ watch yer step, eventually you’ll be good enough at watching yer step tha’ it’ll just be second nature ta ya. Which is why I dun’ have to look down every time I take a step.” He nudged you playfully, watching as you bowed your head and took various lengths of steps.

Daryl chuckled softly, releasing his grip on your hand to grab your chin, tilting your head up to look at him. “Dun’ keep lookin’ at the ground though, ya keep doin’ tha’ an’ you’ll lose yer prey. Or worse, you’ll run into a walker wit’ yer head down.” You scoffed and shook your head, grabbing his hand again while he continued to walk ahead.

You occasionally glanced down at your feet, but kept looking ahead to watch your surroundings. Eventually, you found some deer tracks and elbowed Daryl.

“Deer tracks,” you pointed with your knife. He hummed in approval and let go of your hand to fully grasp his crossbow, turning his head over his shoulder and nodded as a signal for you to keep following him. You pressed your lips into a thin line and proceeded to follow the archer, making sure to take lighter steps.

The deer quickly came into view, unknowingly chewing on some not so crunchy leaves. Daryl raised a finger to keep you still and quiet, before beckoning you with that same finger. You quietly moved next to him, the two of you crouching behind a tree. His blue eyes met yours, holding his hand out for yours. You gave him your hand and he flipped it over so your palm was to the sky, and then he placed the handle of his crossbow in your hand. Your eyes quickly widened and you shook your head.

“No, Dar! I can’t shoot this thing!” You hissed quietly, seeing his expression shift into an amused one.

“Yeah ya can, dun’ worry. I’ll help ya,” he took your other hand and guided it to the foregrip before grabbing your waist and maneuvering you in front of him. He kept his body pressed against your back, his hands on yours and mimicked your placement. Your breath hitched as he moved his head to rest over your shoulder, his lips just barely grazing the shell of your ear. “Now aim fer the deer.”

His whisper sent a wave of heat through you, closing your eyes to calm yourself before opening them again and following his instruction. Gripping onto the foregrip, your raised the cross bow slightly and aim towards the deer, hearing a low whistle of approval.

“Good, now can ya take a shot at it?” His warm breath hit your ear again and you nodded, his pointer finger over yours as you started to slowly pull the trigger.

THWACK

You flinched and widened your eyes to see the deer on its side, an arrow sticking out of it. Daryl chuckled and let go of you, patting your waist.

“Good girl.” The nickname made you shiver a little, hoping he didn’t notice. “See, I told ya you could do it.” He took the crossbow from you and slung it over his shoulder before walking over to the deer. You walked proudly after him, watching crouch next to the deer and finishing it off with his knife.

“I may have lost your deer earlier but I shot it,” you grinned as you placed your hands on your hips. He chuckled and stood up, kissing your forehead.

“Tha’, you did. Now carry my bag so I can lug this home,” you smiled to yourself and took his bag, slinging it over both your shoulders as he threw the deer over his shoulders. Your eyes sparkled as you looked up at him, wishing you were the deer right now.

“Well now we’ll have something to eat for your birthday dinner, isn’t that right?” You chuckled as you both started walking back to Alexandria.

“Yer gonna cook me somethin’?” He raised his eyebrows in curiosity. “Ya already made me tha’ charm.”

“Of course I’m gonna cook you dinner, hell it’s your birthday. You deserve more than that flimsy ol’ thing,” you snorted while adjusting the straps of his backpack.

“Ya dun’ ‘ave ta,” he grunted. “Ya could just gimme a kiss an’ I’ll be okay wit’ tha’.” You laughed at his comment, shaking your head.

“But I want to,” he couldn’t argue with that logic. Instead he just sighed and nodded his head, the two of you continuing to walk in silence.

Daryl was in the shower while you pranced around the kitchen searing the share of deer you were given, making some venison steak for dinner. The smell of rosemary and lemon filled your nostrils as you stirred some mashed potatoes in another pot, the hiss of the meat cooking on the pan was delectable. You hummed while throwing some peas into the pot of mashed potatoes, along with some butter and salt before stirring it once more and turning off the stove. You checked on the venison which looked perfectly cooked, tasting a bit of the sauce left over and decided it was perfect.

“Really outdid myself tonight,” you hummed and turned off the stove completely before setting up some plates on the dinner table. You precisely plated the steaks on the plate, scooping the mashed potatoes intricately before drizzling some canned cranberry sauce over it. You smiled proudly and poured some red wine into some glasses before lighting up a few candles. After accessing your work you quickly ran upstairs to change into a little cocktail dress, still wanted to impress your husband after all. Speaking of, you could hear Daryl fix up in the bathroom so you hurried on. You fixed up your hair in the mirror and took one last glance over your body before running back downstairs, taking your seat at the table.

You waited patiently, letting him take his time to fix up. He wasn’t going to expect all of this, the dimmed lights and candlelit dinner, but you were ready to see his expression.

Daryl came down the stairs, his hair slightly damp and over his eyes. Your eyes trailed down his neck towards his button-up, which had a few buttons undone already, and he was wearing his usual pants. His head perked up at the smell of the delicious food, brushing his hair out of his eyes and taking in the sight before him.

You grinned cheekily as he stood there, mouth agape in shock. Catching himself, he smirked slight at you and brought his hand over his mouth, his eyes glazing over your legs.

“Thought you were jus’ makin’ me dinner,” he drawled lowly. “Didn’ expect a whole feast,” he gestured towards you. You laughed as he took his seat, his eyes still on you.

“Shut up, try your food.” You giggled as you pulled your chair in and cut at your steak, letting your eyes dart up to see what he thought. He looked down at his plate and picked up his knife and fork and cut into his, dipping a slice into the mashed potatoes to get a taste of everything before shoving it into his mouth. He groaned and leaned back in his chair as he continued chewing.

“Jesus christ, (Y/N)…” You giggled and took a bite yourself, groaning as well while leaning back.

“Damn, I’m good.” You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your wine, Daryl sitting up to do the same. He swirled his wine a couple times in the glass before taking a good chug and swallowing the liquid.

“Mmh, yeah ya are.” He grunted and continued to eat his food. You smiled lovingly at him, his gaze drifted back up to yours. He chewed his food and smiled back at you, just as loving. “Ya look beautiful.”

“You do too,” you grinned and earned a snort of disbelief from him. “You are!” You giggled, causing his stomach to swarm with butterflies, the sound of your laughter bringing joy to him.

The dinner consisted of you two talking and giggling about old memories, sipping wine and sharing longing glances across the table. Eventually you both finished your dinner but remained sitting at the table and drinking your wine.

“Do you remember when I fell off the back of your motorcycle and you refused to take me anywhere for two weeks?” You giggled against the rim of your wine glass, your eyes twinkling mischievously.

“Sure do, an’ I didn’ take ya anywhere fer two weeks because ya broke yer damn arm an’ had to heal.” He crossed his arms and had a stern look on his face, but laughed nonetheless.

You just giggled and finished your glass, reaching for the bottle for some more but it was quickly snatched away.

“Not too fast,” Daryl chuckled, reaching for your glass and pouring it himself. “Thank you fer all this, ‘s by far the best birthday I’ve had in a while.” He handed you your glass back, brushing his fingers over yours as he did.

“It’s nothing… I just wanted to spoil you a little, even if it’s just a little.” You smiled and took a sip of the wine, your head starting to spin a little. He noticed and took your glass away, finishing the rest himself. You chuckled, “I wasn’t done with that.”

“I know, but I dun’ want ya completely drunk.” He took the plates and glasses and put them in the sink before sitting back down in his seat.

“Why’s that?” You leaned forward, grinning expectantly.

“’Cause I wanna be able to reward ya fer yer hard work,” he smirked and leaned back in his seat, manspreading like his life depended on it. “C’mere.”

As if you were in a trance you immediately stood up and wobbled over to him, your mind still hazy but you both knew what you wanted. He tilted his head back to look up at you, that same cocky smirk painted across his lips. He kept his hands on his thighs, and it was like a silent communication of what he wanted. You bit your lip and held eye contact as you kneeled down between his legs, his head cocking to the side as he looked down at you, bring one hand into your hair.

“Good girl… now I may be askin’ too much, but do ya mind?” He nodded towards his erection that was eagerly straining against his pants. You shook your head, bringing your hands up to unbuckle his belt. He grumbled graciously, his fingers curling in your hair.

You bit your lip as you solely focused on getting his pants off, feeling him lift his hips up a bit to make the removal process easier for you. You glanced up at him while sliding his pants and boxers off in one go, he grunted softly as his cock sprang out. His pants and boxers hung around his ankles as you moved closer, inspecting his length. The head was flushed red, and looked almost painfully hard as it twitched from the feeling of your warm breath brushing against it.

As you continued gawking at his cock, Daryl got impatient and took his length in his hand. Your drunken body felt even more turned on as you watched your husband stroke himself slowly, brushing his thumb over the sensitive tip and hissing. You whimpered, biting your lip as you moved closer. The cold tile against your thighs was a good relief from your aching heat, feeling yourself get wetter the more you watched him.

Daryl brought his other hand to the back of your neck, bringing you even closer as he held his cock and guided it to your lips. You closed your eyes and let him run his length against your cheeks, giggling a little as he slapped the tip against your lips. He pushed the head of his cock against your lips which you quickly parted, letting him slide half his length into your mouth.

You both groaned at the contact, both his hands moving into your hair while one of your hands moved to hold onto the base. Daryl threw his head back and whimpered softly as you literally sucked on him once, pulling off to leave little kitty licks on his sensitive tip. He pulled your hair into a ponytail and tugged on it when you took him into your mouth again, rolling his eyes back as your tongue swirled around the tip. He let out multiple moans and whimpers of pleasure as you bobbed your head, stroking what you couldn’t take with your hand.

You could feel him start to get close, by the sounds of his breathless whimpers and the way his grasp on your hair got tighter. You let go of his cock and braced yourself before fully letting him in, the head of his cock hitting the back of your throat and causing you to gag. He moaned loudly, making a sound of protest and trying to pull you off of him. You didn’t budge and kept bobbing your head, gagging every time he hit the back of your throat. He whined breathily, his cock twitching in your mouth as he got closer and closer. Your eyes were teary but you kept going, wanting to taste his sweet release.

Daryl tugged your hair hard, groaning deeply as he came. Splurging ropes of warm semen into your mouth, you eagerly licked it all up, savouring the saltiness of his release. The sound and sight of him coming almost had you releasing yourself, reaching down to squeeze between your legs.

His hand released your hair and caressed the back of your head soothingly, as an apology for his rough tugging. You looked up at him as you swallowed the rest of his seed, his tongue darting out to lick his lips as he wiped the corner of your mouth with his thumb.

“Get up fer me,” he whispered hoarsely, grabbing onto your thighs as you obeyed. He stood up after you and pulled you against his chest, his cock stirring back to life as you felt it press between your thighs. One hand was on your waist while the other held your chin, tilting your head back to look at him, his thumb brushing against your bottom lip before dipping his head to kiss you deeply. He groaned into your mouth as he tasted himself on your tongue, your tongues wrapping together as you fought for dominance. Ultimately, he won and you let yourself be kissed aggressively by this man.

He placed both hands on your hips, pushing you back and pulling his lips off yours. Before you could think he turned you around and bent you over the dinner table, his hand immediately moving under your dress. You cried out as his fingers rubbed your wet heat over your panties which were well soaked by now, he kept his other hand on your lower back before pulling your panties off. He pushed the skirt of your dress up and over your ass, keeping you bent over on display for him. You didn’t hear anything for a few moments, the alcohol in your system making you hear your heart beat in your ears. Your knees buckled as you felt his tongue run along your slit, you whined slightly while his hands held you steady.

His tongue wiggled around between your folds, a soft cry escaping your lips every time he brushed over your clit. His lips wrapped around your bundle of nerves, sucking on it and you could feel him smirk when you cried out. He continued this motion, your eyes rolling back while the top half of your body lay flat against the table. His tongue was replaced by his finger, rubbing your clit harshly and making your leg tremble in sensitivity. You moaned loudly, the sound of your moans echoed through the kitchen while his tongue entered you. You gasped harshly at the intrusion, your nails scratching against the table as his tongue thrusted in and out of your wet heat. The warm feeling of coming undone was brewing up in your stomach, your moans ragged.

“Fuck… Dar I’m gonna cum,” you whined breathlessly. He didn’t stop, rubbing your clit even harder and causing you to arch you back and squirm against his face. His tongue remained inside of you as you came, your breath heavy while he licked up your sweet nectar. You sighed and lay your head against the table, your mind swirling with lust and haziness from the orgasm.

“Stay there,” he grunted as he stood up, rubbing the flesh of your ass with his palm. “Ya look so beautiful bent over fer me like this. Makes me wan’ ta fill ya up, put a baby in ya.” Your breath hitched, looking over your shoulder to see if he was serious.

“Really?” You whispered hoarsely, your eyes sparkling in want. “You want a baby?”

“Fuck yeah,” he grumbled, standing behind you while caressing your ass. “I mean hell, we’re both gettin’ old. I wanna be able to give ya a child before we can’t… will ya let me?”

“Yes, oh god yes Dar please.” You pleaded, earning a light tap to your bum as he bit his lip.

“Then be a good girl fer me and lay still, yer perfect.” He whispered, running his length between your ass cheeks teasingly. You bit your lip and lay your head against the wood of the table, panting in anticipation as he continued to rub his cock against you. He held his cock in his hand and rubbed the head against your clit, spreading your folds so he could thrust along them. You both moaned simultaneously, the two of you relishing the slick feeling.

He pulled his cock back, circling it around your entrance before pushing forward, filling you completely. You moaned out in delight, closing your eyes and clenching around the length inside you, feeling your walls mold to his cock. He groaned, grabbing your hips and moving back and forth slowly. Your eyes rolled back, biting your lip hard as you felt every inch of his velvety skin stroke your inner walls.

His fingers surely were leaving marks on your hips from how hard he was gripping onto you, clearly holding himself back from taking you roughly. He kept the pace slow, his cock occasionally brushing against your sweet spot but not fully meeting it. You moved back to meet his thrusts, earning a moan of approval from your movements. It still wasn’t enough.

“Need you deeper,” you pleaded softly, the high pitched tone of yours making his hips stutter. One of his hands ran up your back, grasping your hair and gently tugging you, prompting you to come up. You obeyed instantly, pushing yourself up as he carefully pulled you back to his chest. Your back arched as his hand trailed down over your throat, holding you against his shoulder.

He pressed his hips harder into you, eliciting a light breathy whine from you as your back arched further. He continued his hard thrusts, turning his head to press kisses along your neck, his cock reaching deeper and deeper with every thrust of his hips. You were closer to getting what you wanted, just one swivel of your hips against his was what got it. He slammed against your sweet spot, your jaw dropped and you closed your eyes as he kept hitting the spot. Your moans came out freely, his palm against your throat as you leaned back on his shoulder, mewling and whining loudly.

His grunts came in your ear, his breath heavy and hot as the both of you started to sweat from exertion. The sound of your skin slapping together echoed through the kitchen along with your whimpering moans and his grunts and groans. He let go of your throat and let you fall over the table, placing both his hands on your hips and thrusting with renewed intensity. His hips slapped against yours hard, his eyes watching your ass jiggle with every contact. He brought a hand up to grip your ass, pushing himself deeper into your pussy. The wet sounds of him thrusting in and out just filled you with more arousal, closing your eyes to fully immerse yourself in the moment.

You tightened around his cock as you felt yourself coming close to completion, the feeling of your walls tight around him made Daryl groan deeply. His hips stuttered but kept the pace, fucking you deeply and hard. It was clear he was also close as his grip on you became tighter and his movements got sloppier.

“Fuck, yer so tigh’… gonna fill ya up,” he groaned, thrusting harder into you. “Gonna make ya carry my babies.”

His words sent a chill up your spine, mewling out in pleasure and desire. “I want that… please…” You begged pathetically, your voice barely a whisper from all your crying and moaning.

“Imma give it to ya, dun’ worry baby. Gonna cum inside ya so deep,” he grunted, pulling your hips back in time with his movements. “Gonna give ya a baby, make ya a mama.” You whined in desire, clawing at the wood as your body trembled. Your orgasm quickly coming up.

You screamed out his name as you came for the second time tonight, rolling your eyes back as you did. You lay against the table while your legs struggled to keep you standing, his hips rapidly pushing in and out of you as he chased his orgasm.

“Shit, fuckin’ tigh’ as shit.” He cursed haphazardly, his balls tightening as they threatened to burst. “C’mon take it, take it pretty girl,” he shouted as he came, deep inside of you like he promised. He fucked you through his orgasm, groaning softly before pulling out.

Your entire body shook in sensitivity, your legs threatening to give out. Daryl continued to hold you up, watching your pussy drip with his cum. He reached down to scoop it back into you, a whimper leaving your lips at the feeling.

“Dun’ wan’ this ta go ta waste now do we?” He taunted hotly into your ear, pulling your panties up and letting your dress fall over your ass. He slapped your ass playfully before pulling up his own underwear and pants, buckling his belt. “Now let’s go cuddle upstairs hm?” He chuckled lowly and scooped you up into his arms, his expression softening at your fucked out expression.

You looked up at him sleepily and nodded, pulling his head down to kiss him softly. He hummed against your lips, taking you upstairs.

“Happy birthday, Dar.”

[croxxbow13]

The Sweet One - Part One

Warnings: language, mentions of violence and mild adult thoughts.

Takes place during Alexandria era. Just some musings as you’re trying to adjust to this new, impossible way of life… and trying to make sense of Daryl’s intoxicating presence.

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: Honestly, I’m not sure what this is. I just opened my notes app and just started putting words down. Will do a part 2 if theres any interest.

Please be gentle with me, its my first time.

(Part Two)

(Part Three)

-

It’d been three weeks since our group had stumbled into the walls of Alexandria, dirty, dehydrated and half starved.

Everyone had done the best they could to settle in, though it still felt like most of us were still holding our breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Places like this didn’t exist anymore.

At least, not for long.

We all slept in the same house, hell the same room for the first few nights, not wanting to let our guard down. The floor a patchwork of arms and legs and blankets, while the beds lay empty in their vaulted ceiling bedrooms.

After the things we’d experienced on the road, how could we not? Cannibals, rapist, psychopaths that tried to take us down, slaughtering their whole communities in the process without so much as a flicker of remorse.

I remember one night on the road, everyone sitting around the fire, Daryl said that the world really hadn’t changed all that much. People had always been shit. Now they were just more open about it. There was no reason they could see to keep those terrible things inside.

No reason to fear hell when we’re already there.

And now, to look into these strange smiling faces offering promises of food, walls, shelter… hot showers?

I stuck close to Carol for a while, trying to keep a low profile, putting on a nice face, but all the while keeping my ears tuned to the low whispers, the quiet conversations in adjoining rooms, listening, waiting for someone to slip up. To show the other side of the coin, but they never did.

It didn’t take long working in the small confines of the kitchen and pantry to feel like the walls were closing in on me. The daily droning of bored housewives going on about their ridiculous reasons to be at odds with their husbands, or gossiping about this person or that person… cackling together like a bunch of restless hens.

It reminded me too much of the old world. And I’d rather use an ice pick as a q-tip.

But thankfully, after some convincing - and maybe a little bit of begging - Aaron finally agreed to let me help with scavenging. He said that he, Daryl, Glenn and a few of the Alexandrians were going to be checking out a warehouse tomorrow a few towns over. Something about an old cargo depot.

I couldn’t give a shit less, as long as it gets me outside these walls for a little while.

I never thought it would be hard to transition back into some semblance of normalcy… but I feel like we’re all just kind of playing house. The people in this community have just as many dirty secrets as the people out there. The only difference is theirs is hidden behind neatly manicured hedges and eggshell tinted semi-gloss paint.

-

I’m sitting on the steps of Carol’s house when she returns home from another’s day work.

I say Carol’s house, but I guess it’s also mine and also Daryl’s. Though I’m pretty sure his residence here was just a given whereas I actually asked Carol if she minded that I stayed here.

Rick and Michonne have their whole family dynamic thing going on with Carl and Judith, so I would just feel like a fifth wheel.

Abraham and Rosita had room… but after being on the road with them and realizing how obnoxiously loud they are during sex… and don’t even get me started with fucking Eugene. I swear to God, when he starts rambling off at the mouth with his overinflated self importance. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve imagined cutting off that ratty ass mullet and gagging him with it. My luck though that would just add more material to his mental spank bank that he would recall as he’s beatin’ one out watching his compadres going at it.

I hate that I think about these things, and I hate that I have a vivid imagination because I immediately feel the bile rise in my throat, taste the acidic disgust on the back of my tongue.

I must’ve made a face because Carol stops and looks at me before she makes it to the steps.

“Well I’m glad to see you too.” She says, fighting back a sarcastic laugh.

I shake my head, trying to be reassuring while I’m still fighting the churn of my stomach.

“I’m sorry, just been a long day.” I say, giving her a lopsided smile. She puts a steadying hand on my knee as she swings around and takes the space on the step beside me.

She unbuttons her muted green sweater, or should I say her chosen costume of the day, and pushes up the sleeves. Usually she waits until she’s made it into the front door before she goes through her “becoming Carol” ritual that Daryl and I tease her about most nights.

We give her shit, but I gotta give it to her. She’s smart.

Seeing her now, It’s crazy to think of the transformation she’s undergone since I first met her back at the quarry. Back then she was so… small. And quiet. And just scared all the time. And I get it. Being beaten day in and day out by the person who should be your biggest sense of security will do that to you. Hell, the end of the world was probably the best thing that ever happened to her.

Daryl, too. Granted, he doesn’t talk much about his life before. But from witnessing his toxic ass relationship with his brother, I can only imagine that home for him was never really much of a home. And I’ve seen the scars. At least some of them. He didn’t get those from learning to ride a bike.

Dad was probably a drinker with no outlet for his anger. And Merle was probably old enough and big enough to at least get away from him eventually. I don’t know how much younger Daryl is, or was than Merle. But if I had to guess there was probably a solid 10 years that Daryl would’ve had to fend for himself. And Merle said it…

He was always the sweet one, my baby brother…

It’d made me so angry how he had said it so condescendingly. Like it was something to be shameful about. Like it was a weakness that should be hidden away. Because “real” men don’t show emotion.

Fuck him. I’ve literally watched Daryl rip out vocal cords with his bare fucking hands. And his arms… jesus christ, his arms.

Apparently I just sighed because now Carol has turned her attention towards me again. I clear my throat brushing non-existent dirt off the knees of my jeans.

“Want me to start on dinner?” I ask her, hoping the flush I feel creeping up my neck isn’t obvious.

She gives me a small smile, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“It’s ok, I ate a little something before I left work. Daryl might be hungry when he gets in though, if you’re wanting to make something. I think we’ve still got stuff for some spaghetti.”

And then as if conjured up from the depths, Daryl turns onto the street from the way of the front gate, the sounds of his boots thudding lightly against the pavement.

Daryl didn’t walk, it was more a saunter if anything. That one hand always gripping the strap of his crossbow that laid across his chest, the other swinging by his side, always a little wider than necessary.

I wonder sometimes if he’s aware of how much space he takes up at any given moment. Though I could never bring myself to ask him, because then he’d want to know what I meant. And I had no intention of letting him know how small he made rooms feel when I’m in one with him.

He’d probably take it the wrong way and go brood in the woods for a few days.

That sweet baby brother.

I’m self admittedly pretty terrible at recognizing when someone’s flirting with me.

But Daryl… Daryl. Fucking. Dixon. Takes the cake with that one.

At times I wonder if he’s actually had any kind of intimate interaction whatsoever. And, oh to have been a fly on the wall…

Doesn’t mean I can’t try though, right?

I mean, it can’t be completely one sided. I’ve caught him stealing glances when he thinks he’s out of my line of sight. I mean, christ, we live in the same house together.

And god so help me, for as long as I live I will never forget the look on his face when I came out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel because he’d come back from a run early. I had my face down, trying to towel dry the rest of my hair and he rounded the corner as I was stepping into the hallway and I basically face planted his chest. It took him about three syllables worth of his sentence, his hands gripping my arms to keep me from stumbling backwards, before he realized that that single layer of cotton that hit just a little too high on my thighs was the only thing saving us from an even more awkward situation.

His eyes went wide as he’d snatched his hands away like he’d been burned. And the color that immediately flushed his cheeks made me want to sink my teeth into the vein that pulsed too quickly in the side of his throat as he dropped his head and retreated out the front door.

Damn… Im starting to sound like one of them.

“Perfect timing! Your ears must’ve been burning!” Carol’s chipper tone pulls me once again from my thoughts, though this time it’s not as welcome. Daryl’s boots scuff against the sidewalk as he comes to a stop in front of us.

“What d’ya mean?” He says, his voice gruff as his gaze bounces between the two of us. I’m still fighting off visuals of lips and teeth and tongues, so I just raise my eyebrows and shake my head, doing my best to avoid meeting his eyes.

“We were talking about dinner, you hungry?” Thanks, Carol.

Daryl shakes his head and shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “Nah. Not really.”

“Alright, well I’m going to go shower, that way you can get yours whenever you get ready.” Carol stood and turned for the door, giving me a small pat on the shoulder as she crossed the porch and disappeared into the house.

I looked at him then, and thankfully his attention was somewhere down the street.

The sharp orange streaks of light from the setting sun highlighted the beads of sweat on his brow, and judging by the dirt that clung to his arms and clothes, they’d had an eventful day.

Good. He always seemed to be in a better mood those days.

He was chewing on his bottom lip, as he always did when he was working a thought over in his mind. And I figure its as good a time as any to snap him out of it. Before he turns and I’m just staring at him like a fucking weirdo.

“Aaron’s letting me come with you guys tomorrow. Said that it’d be a good time for me to come along and see how you guys work together.”

He nodded slowly before he turned his eyes to me. “Yeah, he told me.” He slid his crossbow over his head and leaned it against the step railings before sitting down on the landing next to me.

And true enough, it now felt half the size as when Carol was sitting there.

“It’ll be good for ya,” he said, pulling at a string that hung loose on his glove. “Get out there an outta here for a while.” As he said it, his eyes scanned the other houses in the neighborhood… still looking for the cracks. For the slip of the stage props.

Maybe we’re not so different.

My eyes follow his gaze. And when I speak, it’s lower… only meant for us.

“You’re still looking for it too.” I say. It’s not a question. He turns his head and looks at me now. The dirt smudge across his cheek brings out the blue in his eyes.

His response is more of a grunt than a word. He wants to know what I’m talking about. Even though he already knows what I’m talking about. He just wants to hear me say it.

“You’re looking for the strings. For the wizard behind the curtain. This place can’t be as perfect as it looks from the outside. There’s something… there’s gotta be.”

He slowly nods and I know that he’s starting to realize the same thing…

Maybe we’re not so different.

The sun has finally dipped below the horizon. I can only tell because that first faintly cool breeze that precedes the darkness is creeping between the houses now. And thanks to it, I’m now aware of the heat I feel radiating off of him. I didn’t realize that my arm was that close to his. Even through his jeans I can feel the warmth of his legs on the steps beside mine.

Why are my fucking ears hot?

And why do I have to fight the urge to lean over and lick the sweat off his neck.

Can you imagine the look on his face?

Stop. Stop.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I need to get up and go inside before I embarrass myself and just have to go knock on the door of the love nest and ask if I can big spoon Eugene.

Fuck that.

And then he bumps his shoulder against mine and suddenly I have no escape plan. I actually don’t plan on going anywhere. I actually would probably have to be pried off this step.

“Come on, we’ve got an early day tomorrow.” He says, and I can feel the words vibrate through my chest. He stands and grabs his crossbow, but he doesn’t sling it across his back like he usually does. He just holds it by his side, stretching out his other hand to offer me help up.

Sweet little baby brother

Naturally I go against my better judgment. Of course I do. I reach up and grab his hand and with little effort, he hauls me up and I’m now even more aware of how effortless he could just pick me up and snap me in half.

Or pin me against a wall.

Stop.

We’re toe to toe, though on different steps, which only adds to the way he’s towering over me. But I can feel his warmth. I can smell the sweet tanginess of his sweat that’s saturated his shirt. The earthy smell of the dirt.

He takes a step back, which part of me is thankful for. As I should be.

I know that if I ever genuinely made a pass at him. And it wasn’t reciprocated, things would probably never be the same between us. I wouldn’t be able to look at him. And he would probably never put himself in a position to be within arms reach of me again. Be it from fear or embarrassment or just the typical, awkward Daryl.

And I don’t want that.

But god damned, I want him.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

(Read part 2 here)

[unpickled-olive]

Realizing that, while I like Destiny lore, what I love is Seth Dickinson's writing.

The Final Shape was a lovely story and the characters' archs were all emotional and satisfying. Maybe a nostalgic tear was shed for Cayde bonding with his reformed, resurrected killer.

But the things that have kept me coming back for 9 years were missing. I thought there'd be concrete answers about the Traveler, or some more thorough insights into the Witness, or even good lore on the Dread. I was hoping for another great lore book to join the ranks of Books of Sorrow, Unveiling, Mysterious Logbook, Marasenna, Last Days of Kraken Mare, etc. Some philosophy and horror, a genesis or exegesis or thorough backstory on a yet unexamined character/species.

Sadly, I didn't find those. The Dread's origin is that the Witness made them. Do they think and feel? TBD. The Traveler's conclusion was something like "you just have to have faith <3." Fine for the characters, but not for the readers/players of a 10-year-old mystery.

There's some nice things. The Micah-10 Traveler interpretations are cool, as is her origin story. And the foreshadowing still has me excited for the Dreadnaught, a yet unseen Disciple, etc. But I think key parts of what made Destiny lore so alluring for me are diminished.

Maybe it's the layoffs at Bungie. Maybe it's new writers going in a different direction. Either way, the aspects of sci-fi/space fantasy—ancient mysteries, metaphysical warfare, _____—have taken the back seat to personal drama that frankly isn't that interesting or fleshed out.

Maya could be an interesting antagonist, but she needed more backstory than "this simulation was evil or something" and more nuance than "the Vanguard are coercive, so I will coerce all of humanity." Why not explore what her presence means for the Vex, or the other simulations helping Praedyth escape the Vault?

The Witness trying to sway various characters was fine, but that has been covered so many times, especially in Beyond Light.

All that said, back to Seth: their absence in TFS made me realize how huge their presence in the lore was for my love of Destiny. I finally went and read their original works. What an incredible writer.

First, I read Exordia, the first/only entry into a dark mindfuck of a space opera. Its horrific in abstract ways: mysterious alien monoliths that poison reality around them. It's horrific in grounded ways, too: the alien invasion plays off of parallels with the Anfal campaign and the US involvement in Iraq. It's campy at times (with a villain who shouts "I love genocide!") but also profound. There's souls and date, but also math. There's also my favorite trope: mysterious, ancient architects.

After that, I read Baru Cormorant—all three books in a month. It's tragic and inspiring and genius. Originally I couldn't get through the first chapter because of the "fantasy" label. I've already read Earthsea and wasn't in the mood for wizards on boats. But I had the wrong impression. Understandable, because there is just no succinct way to label it.

Is it even fantasy? Honestly, I still don't know.

What it is is its own world. One that the inhabitants haven't fully mapped. One whose past is a must and whose future is uncertain. It's about hegemony. It's about purpose, obsession, and revenge. It's about revolution and community.

The colonizer culture is a kaleidoscope of different influences. Seafaring. Peri-industrial. Eugenic. It strikes me as something like 17th century Britain with a 20th century grasp of science. They don't have guns, but they do have both Greek fire and lobotomies. The story plays with different cultural views on indigenous rights, race, sexuality, and gender in ways that commentary real life while serving as interesting world building.

This story also weaves an insane amount of intellectual concepts into it. But rather than bog it down, they lift it up. The fate of the republic hinges on a myriad of different questions: is evolution Lamarckian or Darwinian? Can mathematical proofs usurp cultural hegemony? How do economics influence history? Most importantly, can you destroy the enemy from within before it destroys you?

It is not just cerebral, but tragic and heartbreaking. I saw the end of the first book coming, and yet I was devastated by the last chapter. Crushed like no ending has ever really crushed me. I didn't want it to happen.

There will likely be some time before the final book comes out, which is understandable. So much research goes into these. So many plot threads need to be woven together. So many mysteries not yet confronted.

This is all to say: if you like what I like about Destiny–thorough examinations of ancient mysteries, sci-fi takes on souls and magic, fantasy takes on science and technology, obsessive characters and vividly fucked up monsters, cancer and math as motifs, metaphors manifesting, and genius characters written by genius authors–give Seth Dickinson a chance.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Could you do relationship headcanons for our big deal boys Jerry and Brad (and Jason and Lineman too if you want) 👉👈 Or maybe them eating dinner with reader for the first time in a while and realizing how much they miss reader?

Hi Anon! Thanks for requesting :) I can't believe I haven't done more boyfriend/relationship hc?! This has been sitting in my drafts forever and soooorta is what you asked for.

Lookism guys as YOUR boyfriend hc

Uhhh almost everyone here (Brad, Jason, Lineman, Jerry, Jake, Sinu, Daniel, Jay, Vasco, Jace, Zack, Vin, Goo, Johan, Eli, Warren, DG, Samuel, Xiaolong, Ryuhei, Eugene, Jihan, Jibeom, Hudson + crumb for Hangyul, Taejin)

Brad Lee

Happy go lucky most of the time. Brad will make you smile and laugh, your best friend as well as your boyfriend. Don't be fooled, just because he can be silly doesn't mean he doesn't take this relationship seriously. Sincere and committed, will do what he needs to make you and him work. A girlfriend privilege, or chore if you're being honest, is constantly shaving his head. If he pisses you off? Shave a stripe down the middle and hide the razor.

Jason Yoon

Self professed as not that great with words, and can be a little standoffish but worships the ground you walk on. Loyal to a fault, and waits on you hand and foot. He's not the most physically affectionate but anticipates your every need, doing things for you before you even realise you wanted them. Self-sacrificing with Big Deal and as your boyfriend. Make sure his needs are taken care of, he deserves it!

Lineman

Listen, this guy bullshits a lot. He's full of bravado and confidence but he is surprisingly earnest when it comes to you. Everything may be exaggerated and said flippantly, but Lineman does think you're the most beautiful, the smartest, the absolute best. No competition. Completely fearless with anything you throw at him. Whether that's something adventurous in the bedroom or a life plan 10 years in the future.

Jerry Kwon

If he is Jake's sword, then he is your shield. Most of the time he barely needs to do anything, just being with him makes sure thugs and troublemakers will stay away. Nevertheless, protects you from danger and cuddling with Jerry will melt all your stress away. Loves you as much as he respects Jake. Which is a whole frickin' lot. Probably more than you would ever know. A big teddy bear, and can be shy - needing you to make the first moves or read his moods.

Jake Kim

You've done it. You've reached the peak. Maximum good times, minimum mental breakdowns. He is stable, a great caregiver and maybe the funniest person you will ever meet, or at least he likes to think so. Does tend to prioritise Big Deal over your relationship and being his girlfriend. You need to be very understanding. Shame he spends a lot of time away from you dealing with the crew but he more than makes up for it with kisses and cuddles and attention (where he can spare it).

Sinu Han

Who do you think taught Jake how to respect women? Gapryong? Nah. It's this girlboss. Didn't used to have much time nor money as Big Deal boss. Now at least he has lots of time and will make sure you are top prority. Literally got yourself a whole househusband. He has nothing better to do than look after you. When you're apart, loves making and sending little videos of himself to you to cheer you up. And it's not hard once you see his beaming bright smile.

Daniel Park

Very sweet, Zack might have stole his first kiss but he wants you to be the first for everything else! His obliviousness to all the girls hitting on him would piss you off though. Once you've spoken to him and he realises, he'll apologise profusely and makes sure it's very clear that he's taken. "Yes, I've got a girlfriend. Yes, I'm very happy. Please I'm not interested!" Very easy for you to make him blush. He might have heard a lot of flattery, but just tell him how cute he looks today and he will flush bright red.

Jay Hong

Are you ready to be spoiled? Have all your whims fulfilled? This man will literally go to the moon and back for you, and he could pay for it to. Loves spoiling you, shopping with you is one of his favourite pastimes but enjoys spending time with you even if it's chilling with the pups. Writes you little messages and notes for you to find throughout the day. Very sentimental and keeps a memento of pretty much everything. Apart from having cash for days, other major girlfriend privileges include seeing his eyes and riding around on his motorbike. Which is pretty sexy, not gonna lie.

Vasco Tabasco

This cinnamon roll!! What else is there to say about him! He's innocent and naive and doesn't really know how to be the best boyfriend but he's so eager to learn and to make you happy. Make a big deal out of every milestone and anniversary. Looks forward to big occasions like meeting the parents until the actual day comes and he almost passes out from nervousness. Being with the head of Burn Knuckles means you've automatically adopted the rest of the gang too. Watch out for your sanity.

Jace Park

Goes a bit too hard on the romance front, but unfortunately picked most of it up from kdrama or romance novels. Imagine his surprise when after your first fight you actually did want space and wasn't pleased when he turned up on your doorstep. Kind hearted and good intentioned. He's dotes on you and a great listener. Insufferable to the rest of Burn Knuckles as he won't shut up about you. Once he's with you, he is WITH you. He may be 'married to Burn Knuckles', but in a relationship, you two are as good as married. And yes, he is the best househusband. Obviously.

Zack Lee

BIG softie. Clingy, a little obsessive but He. Loves. You. We've seen how he is with Mira. Being in a reciprocal relationship with someone would turn that up to ELEVEN. He will always always try his best, and gets a little insecure and sad if he lets you down but to you it doesn't matter. Seeing his effort is enough and you make sure to let him know. Will walk to the ends of the earth for you, you barely even have to ask. Also will deny he's a simp to everyone as they look on at him incredulously. Seriously? It's the most obvious frigging thing!

Vin Jin

Oh my god this guy. He will play his music for you at ANY opportunity. It's a good job you love him, otherwise you would need to jam some chopsticks in your ears. You can't help but be charmed though seeing him doing what he loves, so you take up the role as his number 1 fan. Plays it cool but he is very clingy. Probably text you with 'wyd' and if you don't respond in the next 10 mins, expect a barrage of messages. And if you're busy and haven't seen him for a day or 2? He's on your doorstep: "Here I got you a gift. Me."

Gun Park

He's a surprisingly good partner. He doesn't like wasting time and least of all his own so he knows already you're a good fit with him. The fact that he agreed to be your partner means that he already holds you in exceptionally high regard and cares about you a great deal. Still a walking red flag though. Especially cold and callous when he's had a bad day or you ask him about something he doesn't want to answer. You can go hours or even days not talking after your fights until he finally asks if you can hear him out. He's not stupid. He knows the way he reacts isn't how you should treat a partner and promises to keep working on it

Goo Kim

A rollercoaster ride of a boyfriend. In an established relationship, he can be exceptionally clingy. You better be patient and on the same wavelength as him or you're going to have a bad time. Your nights together can flit from watching anime to light arson in the blink of an eye. At least you can't say he's boring. Soft in his own way for you, and spoils you with your demands and requests, and his money! Really does let you get away with a little too much.

Johan Seong

He was shocked when he realised he cared more about you than Eden and Miro. You were too, you know what they mean to him... And now what you mean to him too. A little feral and not the best at expressing himself but if you have the patience to support him then he'll have the patience to try. Do not offer to share food with this man. Not a bite, no snacks, nothing. He would take advantage. The definition of give him an inch and he'll take a mile. Leave your plate unattended, and the food will be gone the moment you're back. Eden and Miro will get the blame.

Eli Jang

Hope you're ready for 2 cuties in your life because Eli and Yenna are a package deal. Eli never thought he would get the fairytale happy family but with you it's actually happening. He loves planning family dates and seeing you and Yenna together. He's already carved out a future for you and him otherwise he wouldn't encourage you and Yenna to bond.

Warren Chae

Absolutely adores telling you he loves you. With you the words flow, and so do the compliments. In his quieter moments, you catch him staring at you a lot until hegrabs your hand and gives you three squeezes instead. I. Love. You. Privately, renames himself from 'Gangdong's Mighty Warren Chae' to 'Y/N's Mighty Warren Chae'. Super silly, but it makes you giggle everytime. He means it though. Will look after you any way he can.

DG

Keeps you out of the spotlight. Please don't be insecure, it's not that he doesn't want to be seen with you - he's just protecting you from public scrutiny and his horde of fans. Generally cool and aloof but with you he can be surprisingly soft and romantic. Truly a k-pop idol capturing the heart of millions. You will become his biggest stan, and he would find that equal parts amusing and endearing. As long you are kept a secret, he will tell the media he has a special someone, someone that really knows him. Makes you and the general public melt everytime he is heard talking about you.

Samuel Seo

Aw Sammy. He just wants some praise and love and you readily offer it to him. Puts up a lot of walls at first before seeing that you don't care who he is or where he's from and love him for him. Definitely one to wait for you to say I love you and fall first before he could reciprocate. He needs to make sure this is real and you are real. Sometimes though, the moment just feels too right for him to keep his feelings to himself... Spends obscene amounts on you to try and impress you. It doesn't. Not really. Ok maybe a little bit.

Xiaolong

One to go to extremes to please the one he loves. Old example: Vivi. Please see updated example: You. There is nothing he will not do for you. To the point that it terrifies you a bit and you need to calm him down. "No, if you don't actually want to go on an ice cream run at 3am that's completely fine! I was only joking about punching my boss, please don't do it!!" Hope you're ready for an unconventional sex life because this man will do what he can to satisfy you, penislessly

Ryuhei Kuroda

Theres a long list of simps in Lookism and he's close to the top of the list. Hes an avid texter but since he likes to follow you everywhere, you wouldn't know. Despite how much of a shit he can be, genuinely respects you and thinks the world of you. Will happily and without hesitation sock anyone that says a bad word about you. Unlike Xiaolong, all in working order downstairs since you met. You have no issues getting him to stand to attention. Have fun!

Eugene

A bit of an absentee boyfriend. He has a lot on his plate. He never regret his position or what he's achieved until you started dating, and now he wishes you could spend more time together. When he's with you though, he's WITH you. You have his full attention. He even turns his phone off. His assistants know that they can't reach him when he's with you. Building burning down? Nope. Don't care.

Jihan Kwak

You thought he was a troublemaker at first. And you would be right. He can run rings around you, teasing and a little mean, the cause of many headaches. All the words are meant with love though. Just look at the way he looks at you as he calls you an idiot. This guy is impossibly soft for you. Make sure you don't let him get away with too much though. As the youngest and spoilt, he can be bratty and a little inconsiderate. He's no fool. Tell him and he will adjust his behaviour.

Jibeom Kwak

There's something so fun about stealing the clothes from your teddy-bear boyfriend. So what if his taste is terrible and ugly as hell. Seeing you in his t-shirt or shorts or even boxers will absolutely break his brain. A little dense, but very trusting - bit like our other cinnamonroll, Vasco. Always well-intentioned, but you may need to be explicit with him. Don't worry, he's a quick learner. Loves you an awful lot and has no problem telling the whole world, even if that means teasing from his brothers.

Hudson Ahn

There's two very people that are at the tippity top of Hudson's list. Taesoo, and you. Your boyfriend is your sun. Quiet and a little stoic, watching you with an intensity and a little smile on his face that takes your breath away. Especially when he's usually cold and reserved with most people, the fact that you can make him look like that just being in your presence? The BEST. Blessed with one of the better asses in Lookism that even Heat Daniel couldn't resist. Always rolls his eyes whenever you grope him, you not being able to resist a quick squeeze even as you walk by, but he could never tell you no.

Hangyul Baek (here's a crumb)

Looks at you a lot with a smile on his face. Which is sweet you suppose, if he wasn't a plastic surgeon and scrutinishing faces and bodies all day. And then he calls you beautiful. A true beauty. And you preen, happy with the compliment.. until. Hold on. What exactly does he mean?!

Taejin Cheon (here's a crumb)

Wew, this guy is flashy. Which is great if that's your thing. Will likely get you kitted out in all sorts of designer brands, even more so than Samuel Seo. Despite not shown as having any tattoos, has the vibe that he would get your name tattooed on his neck. If you break up? Will just get a line put through it lol.

[maya-caffrey]

Strawberry Froyo

pairing: tasm!peter x reader words: 1.4k a/n: y'all i suck at summaries but trust me, it's good summary: you make a new friend :) warning: none, this is pure unadulterated fluff, there's some language tho; ps: this is from the reader's pov

“Son of a-” I silently cursed to myself when I realized late for science. Again. It was the third time this week and I knew my teacher was not going to be pleased. I didn’t have time to waste so I picked up my big stack of books and raced down the hallway towards the classroom until I was oh so rudely knocked over by Eugene ‘Flash’ Thompson who seemed to be in a hurry. Probably to bully some poor kid. Or teacher. Dick. 

“Hey watch where you’re going, Eugene” I yelled. Ah, crap. I knew he hated being called Eugene. Pretty much everyone knew. Boy was I in trouble.

“What did you just say?” Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Shit shit shit fu-

“Back off, man, come on. Leave her alone.” This was new. No one ever talked back to Flash. Especially not someone who knows him.  On one hand, I was flattered to see that someone was standing up for me, not that I couldn’t, but it was nice and on the other hand, I feared for this guy’s life. He’d banged heads with Flash before and it didn’t end well for him, as I remembered. He was in a few of my classes. Peter Parker. The kid with the death wish. And a really cool camera.

“Shut up, Parker. You’re in my way.” Flash was making his way towards Peter and my heartbeat got faster because 1, this never ends well, 2, I was scared for señor death wish, and 3, I was very late for science. Probably the wrong thing to worry about but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m late. I figured maybe apologizing would get him to calm down.

“Flash I’m sorry about earlier, I really am, but some of us need to get to class.”  Me. I need to get to class you pretentious douchebag. I was compelled to say it but I liked having teeth. 

He just stood there, silent, like he was desperately trying to calm down, or probably constipating, which I figured meant that I could go. I went back to my stack of books, now lying spread out on the ground, thanks to Flash. I started picking them up one by one when I was joined by a familiar face. 

“Here you go,” he said, after giving me a much larger stack than I had gathered single-handedly. Huh. That was fast. Not just in an impressive way but also in a sort of Are you ok? Are you having an acid trip? way. I put a stop to my train of thought and collected my books from him. He was gone before I could thank him. 

Timeskip brought to you by Psyduck 

After coming up with an excuse for why I was late to science (because I’m not the one with a death wish, no way I’m ratting out Flash), I took my seat and caught up on what I had missed from Gwen. It took me some time to realize that Parker was sitting diagonally in front of me and I wanted to thank him then and there. Despite establishing that he was running short of brain cells, ultimately he stood up for me. It’s not something people bother doing for me. I tore a sheet of paper, expressed my gratitude and I got a little brave and decided to add something more. I crumpled it up and threw it towards where he was sitting. Somehow, somehow, he turned and caught the paper ball. It was like he knew it was coming before it did. What. 

He looked behind him, confused as if to ask what is so important that you must interrupt science, you uncultured swine before relaxing after realizing it was me. Not gonna lie, that made me feel nice. Open it I gestured. He opened it to find a hand-written note that read 

Thank you for standing up for me :) Oh yes and also the books. Thank you for the books. What do you say I make it up to you? Froyo place around the corner, after school? -y/n

He looked at me and smiled before turning back and scribbling something down. I’d be lying if I said that smile didn’t make me smile too because oh lord it was the cutest thing ever. Like baby turtles walking for the first time. Or like baby axolotls. Like a ray of sunshine that -ow. I was distracted after the same paper ball from earlier found me again. I opened it to find the words  

I’d love to :) I’m looking forward to it. -Peter.  

Is it possible to find someone’s handwriting cute? Because I did. For some reason, it was adorable. I smiled to myself and then in his direction after reading it. I don’t know why, but I felt the need to save this paper for a long, long time.

I couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. 

Timeskip brought to you by Roadkill restaurant - you kill ‘em, we grill ‘em. 

I made it to the froyo place first, so I saved him a seat at the best table I could find. You could say I was a little nervous, but to be honest, he seemed very comfortable to be around. He was like a warm cloud of comfort. He was like an old friend you’ve known your whole life. He was five minutes late. 

“I’m so sorry. There was some stuff, and there was some more stuff after that stuff, and then I-”

“Dude, relax, it’s fine. Sit down. Breathe.” He was out of breath like he ran all the way here.

“I-Thanks. I’ll uh, yeah I’ll sit down.” He sat down and took a few minutes to catch his breath. I silently observed him in a non-creepy way and I realized that he was much more adorable closer. He’s the kind of guy who you’d thank after he bumps into you. 

The waiter was here to take our order. “strawberry froyo with cookie dough bites”, we both said simultaneously. Surprise is an understatement. 

“No way, I thought I was the only one,” I said.

“It is an elite combination, and no one can tell me otherwise.”

“Exactly. Everyone I’ve had froyo with says it’s trash, and it’s sad how so many people are wrong.” He laughed at this and told me about other bizarre combinations he had tried. 

We spent the rest of the evening at the froyo place and to say it was amazing would have been a huge understatement. We talked about movies, music, books, and other things we were both interested in and it was incredible how great we got along with each other, considering we’d never even had full conversations before. I felt comfortable around him like you didn’t have to run everything thrice inside your head before I said it. You know when you find someone so in sync with you, it’s like you’re the same person? Like you know exactly what they mean when they say something? That, times a hundred was how I felt. 

“Listen, y/n, I had a great time”

“Likewise, Parker,” I said with a smile. He smiled back and I swear to god one day it’s going to be the death of me. None of us knew what to say so we just smiled like idiots and stared at the suddenly very interesting walls and ground. 

“So, I’ll call you? Later?” I decided to break the silence.

“Oh, yeah, sure, do you have my number?” As he said this, he started getting a little restless and I could swear I heard police sirens somewhere in the distance.

“I don’t think I d-” Before I could complete my sentence, He took my hand, and started writing his number on my palm. As he was writing, I started to feel very aware of the fact that our hands were touching. I felt sort of jumpy like I wanted to twirl and hop my way home. He wrote it with utmost concentration and held my hand like a delicate artifact he was scared of dropping. He was so cute when he was focused. As soon as he was done, he walked away out the door and towards traffic while facing me before screaming “Call me!” and disappearing into the alley nearby on his skateboard.  

I realized I was still there, at the froyo place, lost in my thoughts before I decided to head home as well. Oh boy, I’m in trouble.

[cobaltperun]

Woe out the Storm (13) - Here comes the Thunder

Wednesday Addams x female Reader

Summary: It took some time, but eventually you came to realize only Wednesday Addams could look at the raging storm of chaos and destruction and make a home out of it. Only she could listen to the cacophony of the roaring thunder and hear a melody.

Story warnings: Wednesday Addams, violence, slow burn

Story Masterlist / First part / Previous part / Next part

Word count: 3.6k

-Storms are comin', better run for cover. Here comes, here comes the thunder-

Tyler Galpin was the monster, the Hyde, the one who murdered Rowan and hurt Eugene. You were pissed, but you were nowhere near as pissed as Wednesday.

“I should have known it. His wounds weren’t nearly as serious as they should have been, I thought he got lucky, but he wounded himself,” she began pacing back and forth, the two of you still in front of the hospital.

“We need to go,” you told her, as subtly as you could pointing toward the hospital where Weems and the sheriff were coming out. “We can’t trust either of them now. H won’t turn his own son in and Weems…” you weren’t ready to say it just yet.

“Has been obstructing us since the start,” Wednesday said it for you as the two of you began walking away. You’d head straight for Nevermore, there wasn’t anywhere else you could go to, really.

“Right, let’s see, we know Hyde lays dormant, so there should be some genetics involved there. Galpin senior is a normie, but do we know anything about Tyler’s mom?” you asked, it was very rare for someone to just randomly develop an ability. It happened, but usually not with the kinds of abilities that involved transforming or shifting.

Wednesday shook her head. “No, and you’re not going to the archive to check,” ah, so she was still worried about what happened to you when you went to mayor’s office building.

“Maybe sneak into his house? See if we can find any medical records? Any history with Nevermore?” you gave in, it was adorable how protective she was.

“We can send Thing,” before you could even raise the question of his health she beat you to it. “He’s fine now,” she assured you.

“Okay, we got a plan then,” you nodded. Thing really was your best option here, even if you wished he could rest for at least a while longer. “Why would he turn on Laurel though?” you wondered.

“I’m not sure, I’m confident Kinbott is Laurel,” she slowed down a bit, as if something caught her attention at that very moment. “No, it’s not Kinbott,” Wednesday completely stopped.

You stopped as well, though a few steps ahead of her, and raised an eyebrow, silently asking her to continue.

“I thought it was her because of the flowers she left in Eugene’s room, they were the same flowers Enid and I saw in Laurel’s room, but the photos someone took of me mean that someone would have to be at Nevermore,” Wednesday explained, and you could see the frustration on her face at both her guesses being wrong.

“And since Tyler is the Hyde, the master has to be at Nevermore,” you groaned in frustration, you had no idea who it could be. “Unless it’s someone else, like the one that attacked me,” why was this so complicated?

“I don’t think it’s that one. The raijin, I mean,” Wednesday said and you halted completed.

“Raijin? The raijin? Japanese ‘lightning god’ raijin?” Wednesday just nodded at that. Well, that explained a lot of things, the pressure you felt, the difference in your level, the overwhelming presence. You weren’t dealing with a beast, you were dealing with a damn god of lightning. “Well, we better hope that guy doesn’t show up, because all that talk about not dying goes out the window in that case,” you just said it. There was absolutely nothing you could do, even if you shifted you felt like you’d be powerless against raijin.

“I know, I saw a vision of Diego, the raiju Goody had a bond with, fighting him. You can’t fight him,” you could hear the hints of panic in her voice. Wednesday knew, even better than you did, from the looks of it, just how strong the raijin was. And it pretty much confirmed you were attacked by someone who’s been alive for centuries.

You closed the distance between you two and took hold of her hand. When she squeezed your hand in return you leaned down, resting your forehead against her left shoulder. “I’m not going to let you deal with this alone, if that’s what you were going to suggest,” you could hear the sharp, though barely audible, gasp. “I’m on your side no matter what,” you let red sparks surround the two of you, completely safe for Wednesday. And in the midst of all that she raised her other arm and placed it on your back, her fingers digging into your back through your shirt.

“Don’t die for me,” she whispered, so softly you almost wondered if you heard it right.

You told her you wouldn’t die, but given the situation, it seemed more like wishful thinking than anything else now. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” you couldn’t say anything else, you could just hope it wouldn’t get to that point.

And if it did… Well, there was no point in thinking about that right now.

You had no idea how long the two of you stayed like that, in the middle of the road between Nevermore and Jericho, not caring one bit about who could see you. You both just committed the moment to your memories, cherishing the feelings you weren’t quite ready to talk about just yet, but you were feeling them nonetheless, perhaps even more intensely than you would if you were to put them into words.

It wasn’t a generational bond. This ran deeper, this was entirely personal, and it brought out a side of each of you that you didn’t even realize existed. The more emotional side of Wednesday, and a side of you that wasn’t afraid of your lightning hurting someone.

~X~

For whatever reason you chose to stay in the quad, saying something about giving Wednesday some space. Considering how emotional she got less than half an hour ago she was more than willing to accept that. When she came into her room, she realized exactly why you gave her space.

Wednesday stopped when she saw Enid there, unpacking and it somehow made a heavy weight she was feeling since Enid left disappear. She could admit that she preferred to stick to certain habits, and you and Enid living with her became a part of her daily routine, so to have Enid back, from the looks of it, made her feel like things were going back to how they should be.

“Hey,” Enid greeted her.

“You’re back,” Wednesday wasn’t sure what else to say.

“I’m gone for a few days, the place gets trashed, and Thing almost dies. Someone’s gotta look out for you two and Y/N can’t do it alone,” Enid stopped unpacking and walked around her bed to get closer to Wednesday.

Like getting emotional with you wasn’t already enough. Wednesday could feel emotions clawing their way out of her body against her will, so she changed the subject. “What happened to rooming with Yoko?”

“Yoko’s great. I just decided I needed a few more boundaries,” Enid was already pulling the tape out.

Wednesday looked away. “Skip the tape.”

“Don’t tell me Wednesday Addams is mellowing out,” Enid dared to tease her.

“Never. More like evolving,” she retorted right away, once again meeting Enid’s eyes.

“Well, one inch of duct tape at a time,” the pastel werewolf smiled, not as brightly, but just as genuinely as Wednesday was used to seeing.

“Why the sudden change of heart?” she couldn’t help but ask.

“Because we work. We shouldn’t, but we do. It’s like some sort of weird friendship anomaly. Everything you said about me is true, but I don’t apologize for it, not anymore. It’s just who I am,” Enid told her, confident and relaxed.

“Thing said he missed you,” it was true, it was also the way to express a part of what she felt without saying it entirely.

“I missed him too,” Enid replied and Wednesday could feel the unspoken words.

“I,” she paused, cursing herself for how soft she had gotten since coming here, how soft Enid and especially you made her. “missed you too.”

Enid remained too stunned to respond and Wednesday took that opportunity to step away from the conversation.

~X~

The plan was set in motion. Enid, who came back and had a much-needed conversation with Wednesday, that you chose to give them privacy for, would make sure to cover your and Wednesday’s absence from your room. Bianca would use her siren song on Tyler, Xavier would offer his shed as the place to bring Tyler to, and Ajax, Yoko, Divina and Kent would be the back-up.

Of course, if anything went horribly wrong you’d be the first line of defense and the one who’d fight the Hyde, even if Wednesday wasn’t too thrilled about that part of the plan.

You watched as Bianca put Tyler to sleep. This was the extent of her siren song. It wouldn’t be helpful for the interrogation; she couldn’t make someone tell the truth. That was the issue with her ability, she could make someone believe something, but in doing so she influenced them. Meaning that she’d influence Tyler into believing he was the Hyde instead of pulling the truth out of him. You stood at the back of Xavier’s shed, behind Tyler, and far enough that he couldn’t realize you were there. If he thought he could fight his way out of this he was sorely mistaken.

Yet, as Bianca woke him up, he immediately put on an act, pretending he was confused and afraid as Wednesday tased him.

The yells of disapproval from everyone else annoyed you. Tyler killed people, he did it in a brutal, painful way, he felt them die. Getting tased was the good outcome for him. But one by one, the Nightshades left Xavier’s shed, with Bianca trying to get Wednesday to go to Weems.

“Wait, wait please! Don’t leave me here with her, I’m begging you!” Tyler cried and whined, knowing that Wednesday wouldn’t stop. But, Bianca left, just like everyone else, leaving only you, Wednesday and tied up Tyler in the shed.

“Wednesday, please! I’m not the monster! And even if I was you’re alone now!” he tried, he bargained, he wasn’t aware of the full circumstances he was in.

“Not quite. Trust me, I’m more than enough to handle you,” you spoke and he froze as he realized you were there as well. “You didn’t think I’d leave her here alone with you, did you Galpin?” you came up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, zapping him lightly, not any harder than Wednesday’s taser, but he definitely felt it. “Talk,” you demanded.

“I have nothing to say! I’m innocent!” he cried out.

“We know you’re not,” Wednesday stood next to you. “What is Laurel Gates using you for?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you had to give it to him, he was good at hiding who he really was. You were almost tempted to believe him.

“Tyler, the body parts in the basement of the Gates mansion, what are they for?” she wasn’t giving up.

“Wednesday, please,” but he just kept begging, like a broken record.

“Who is Laurel Gates, Galpin? Come on now, either transform or talk, but don’t make this harder than it needs to be,” your eyes turned red and you released a strong burst of lightning around you, though you wouldn’t hit him with it unless he fought back he didn’t know that.

But he just kept whining, crying and begging for mercy and it wasn’t his crying that got you to pull Wednesday back. It was much simpler than that. “He’s not going to talk,” and you could see it in Wednesday’s eyes that she figured it out as well.

Not that it mattered, even considering the fact that Tyler was no longer tased or tortured in any other way, the police, let by Tyler’s father, came in and prevented any chance of Tyler talking.

You were ready to be taken away, but the police ignored you, courtesy of Weems trading in the information of Tyler’s abduction and location for your freedom. You glared at the woman as the police took Wednesday away. She wanted to avoid you attacking someone at the station, she could see the way you felt about Wednesday, and she wasn’t risking those feelings causing you to shift.

~X~

Wednesday was seething. Tyler was getting away with it and now he was gloating. Telling her about his victims, how their fear was delicious. And then, as if to make sure she completely understood the situation she was in, he leaned toward her, pulling her closer by the collar of her jacket.

“You have no idea what’s coming. And your raiju? That beast that you like? I’ll make sure to bring you her head,” he promised to hurt you, he promised to kill you and bring remains to Wednesday and the rage within her reached a boiling point as she seethed while staring at his retreating back. It was as if he really was innocent, that’s how he was behaving and Wednesday pushed the doors open and briskly walked outside. She needed to get away from him, otherwise she’d make her situation even worse than it already was.

When she stepped outside the police station she saw you sitting on the stairs, clearly you zapped from Nevermore to the station and Wednesday couldn’t help but feel her heart hammering nails against her chest.

You heard her coming out and got up right away. You looked concerned, worried about Wednesday and she just took a deep breath. Her time at Nevermore was more than likely over.

~X~

“Expelled?! You expelled her?!” you yelled, lightning bursting all around you and damaging Weems’ table where you were gripping it.

“Calm down Y/N. That’s the quid pro quo for sheriff Galpin not pressing kidnapping charges,” she explained, only fueling your rage even further.

“So, expel me too! I was just as involved!” why was Wednesday expelled why you got to stay?

Weems stood up, anger radiating from her in a way you never saw up until that point. And it was somehow fitting for her.

“You know as well as I do that I can’t expel you. Setting a raiju free would only tarnish Nevermore’s reputation,” she said it in a tone so low you nearly stopped glaring at her. Weems was imposing, but she was never intimidating like right now.

You didn’t back away though. “We’ll see how long you can stick to that,” you promised and blasted the doors open with your lightning.

~X~

Weems wasn’t the only one you were going to confront, but before you could deal with Tyler the only remaining way you could think off, Bianca and her Nightshades came up to you.

“I’m sorry we got Wednesday expelled, it wasn’t our intention,” you would let it go, you wouldn’t react to her words. “We just couldn’t let you torture him,” you couldn’t walk away from that. You turned around and walked up to Bianca.

“Bullshit! He murdered people!” you exclaimed, your anger making your eyes turn red and subsequently making Bianca and others step back.

“You and Wednesday tortured him!” Bianca snapped back, always the boldest of them all.

“And any one of us would have gone through much worse if we were the monster,” you reminded her that was how it worked, how it was for the outcasts.

“Y/N,” Wednesday calling your name calmed you down and your eyes went back to normal, her voice, her arrival put a stop to the argument you had with the Nightshades.

You turned around and saw her coming down the stairs. She really was leaving. “Wednesday,” you clenched your fist, feeling powerless to do anything about this.

“This isn’t over, I need you to stay alive, don’t pick unnecessary fights,” she stopped right in front of you, almost as if she was going to take hold of your hand, but changed her mind at the last moment.

You nodded. “I got this, and I’ll stay in touch with you, I promise,” you told her, which prompted her to slip a piece of paper into your hand.

“My address, if you send letters, or if you want to visit,” she said and you nodded once again, grasping her hand before she could pull it away.

“Be careful, especially until you get out of this town,” you rubbed circles into the back of her hand, much like you did the night Thing was stabbed.

Wednesday nodded, only pulling away from you when Bianca chose to speak up, to apologize for getting her expelled.

~X~

It’s only been hours since Wednesday left and you still weren’t willing to fully accept it.

It was the irony at its best. Because here you were, doing the exact thing Wednesday did when you left the room. You were laying on her bed, just staring at the ceiling. You should have been expelled as well, you should have went with her, you shouldn’t have just accepted her leaving. Now you were stuck in the remnants of her presence. Her scent, her half of the window and her part of the room, void of any color. If you concentrated enough you could almost hear her cello, you could hear Thing’s insistent tapping.

You could feel him jumping on your shoulder and pulling your collar.

Wait? What?

You sat up so abruptly Thing nearly tumbled off the bed. “Thing? What happened?” him being here wasn’t a good sign, no matter how nice it was to see him.

He began frantically signing and you tried to understand him, but you couldn’t follow.

“Wed-Wednesday is- Wednesday is what?!” you were getting frustrated, and so was Thing, as he began signing even faster, fumbling over words and making it impossible for you to figure it out. “Slow down! It’s terrible when you stutter!”

He gave up on signing and jumped down, running to your table. You followed him as he grabbed a pen and tried to write, but he didn’t have a piece of paper. Frustrated, he began tapping the morse code with the pen.

“Wednesday is in danger!” your eyes widened when you finally understood what he was saying. “Tyler and Thornhill took her! To Crackstone’s crypt!” you grabbed your phone as Thing slumped down onto the table, relieved that you got the message. You immediately called Enid, not caring one bit that she was with Ajax.

“Damn it, Enid, pick up!” but she wasn’t picking up as you took the knives you would hopefully stab deep into Tyler and Thornhill, Laurel, whatever her name was. You quickly called Ajax instead and nearly began yelling when he picked up. “Put Enid on the phone, now,” you demanded.

“She’s talking to Eugene,” he tried to tell you.

“Now Ajax!” you didn’t have time for this.

“Okay, okay, you’re on speaker!” you heard him telling Enid it was you.

“Y/N? Eugene told me Thornhill is Laurel!” Enid exclaimed.

“I know, she took Wednesday! I’ll take Thing to Poe’s statue, he’ll explain about Nightshades, take Ajax with you, bye!” you hung up before Enid could say anything and grabbed Thin as you ran and, much like a few nights ago, jumped off the balcony. Only this time you didn’t need to catch anyone, you just held Thing close to you and slowed down your fall enough to land without any injuries.

“I’ll go and get her, I promise,” you assured him as you ran toward the statue.

Thing just tapped that he knew against your palm.

You left him at the statue and threw your knife, zapping toward the crypt. The lake? It didn’t matter. You threw your knife right across it, zapping and catching it and throwing it again, not once looking at the water beneath you. It didn’t matter, the danger, the fear of water, all you knew was that Wednesday was stuck with a revenge driven lunatic and her pet monster that enjoyed slaughtering people.

~X~

The one person that ever made Wednesday feel fear stood in front of her, revived because of her blood and Laurel’s ritual. And he even thought she was Goody. Not that it mattered, he had used his telekinesis to keep her from moving.

Hypocrite, using outcast abilities while trying to wipe them out.

“Goody Addams, you will suffer the same fate you bequeathed me!” he promised as he approached her.

Wednesday glared at him as she tried to break free, but it was even stronger than Rowan’s telekinesis. She couldn’t do anything. She was powerless as he pulled out a knife. The flames flickered, and the glint of the blade made her more than aware of how this would end. She was alone, and she had no way to defend herself.

Doors burst open behind her and the moment of surprise cost Crackstone his chance to stab Wednesday, a knife passed right by Wednesday and she felt arms wrapping around her waist as she was pulled to the side and away from the resurrected man.

“Raiju, I see you found a new one, Goody Addams,” Crackstone growled as he recognized the ability you had.

“Hands off my Addams,” you… just had to… Didn’t you? Even if the threatening tone of your voice made Wednesday a bit more forgiving of what you said.

A/N: Raiju to the rescue! No mortal wounds for Wednesday, yet. Honestly, I feel like the middle of the chapter is a bit bare, so I might go back and add some more scenes, but as it is, I’m okay with this. Do tell me what you think about the chapter. Is the middle bare, or is it enough given the fact that I’m writing slightly altered canon and you could just go and watch the show instead of reading about it.

[misguidedasgardian]

Wildcats (Part XVI)

XVI. Invading species

MASTERLIST

Summary: When a new species is introduced in an ecosystem, this ecosystem can collapse 

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Zombie apocalypse AU, living dead, zombies, guts, blood, guns, injures, angst, fluff, DEATH OF A SECONDARY CHARACTER (can’t save them all)

+18, MINORS DNI

Notes: Alright… we are getting warmer hehe, if you know the series, you know what’s coming, a bit of angst, but

Rick, Carol and Daryl met in the woods again

“Take your pick”, said carol, offering the guns she has taken from the armory

“Look, I've been thinking. Do we really need these? I mean, things go bad, yeah, sure. We do what we gotta do, but it's like you said. We don't need these for that. Right now we don't. You wanted me to try, right? I'm good.

. . .

“Hey, whatcha doin?”, he asked, you looked up at him, as he came to you as you were walking towards the pantry. 

“I wanted to see if I could join in the raid today”, you said, “I don’t have a firm job yet and…”

“Don’t go”, he said quickly

“Why?”, you asked

“I dunno”, he said sincerely, “I don’t trust em”

“Glenn is going, and Tara even Eugene”, you explained

“Yeah, too many people”, he said, convinced, “stay here”, you looked at him and nodded. You didn’t quite understand it, but, if he said it, if he, Daryl Dixon, asked you not to go out there, you were going to listen. You did believe in hunches and “feelings”

“I'll stay”, you said with a soft smile, he barely nodded. You felt your cheeks heated, and continued, “If I’m gonna stay you better keep me entertained Dixon”, you said cheekily, and you wanted to pinch yourself, in what world…?

“Come with me then”, he said, turning around and gifting you a soft smile, you couldn’t believe what was happening, were you on crack or something?

Whatever it was, you followed him happily, and you walked back to Aaron’s house, the garage door was open, and there it stood…

“Wow! you finished it already?”, you asked excitedly, watching the new bike, it was amazing

“Yeah, Aaron had all the parts already, I just needed to put ‘em together”, he seemed quite pleased with himself, and you were as excited as he was

“Very nice, Dixon, I already knew you were good with your hands, but now I know for certain how good”, you teased, and you actually managed to make him blush, “let’s take it for a spin then”

“What?”, he asked. You kept smiling, but maybe you were pushing it. He seemed to understand what you meant, “Let’s do it, come on, Aaron and I are going on a little mission”

“Take me there then”, and you suddenly realized how excited you were for being outside of the walls once more. 

They were ready to leave, so you went to the armory and grabbed your gun with the silencer, a full extra cartridge, and your axe hanging from your belt, a thick jacket, and you were ready to go.

Daryl and Aaron where waiting for you near the gates, and you barely waved at Aaron before you were climbing on the back of Daryl’s bike

“Heyy but I’m going in a car!”, said Aaron, with an amused glint on his face, you only looked at him over your shoulder and winked.

“Hug onto me”, Daryl said, he raised his vest so you don’t hold back his movements. You wrapped your arms around him gingerly, and accommodated your head over his left shoulder, “ya good?”, he asked, you nodded, and off you went.

You tightened your hold on him, you felt your cheeks heated, he had become broader the last weeks. You felt a bit uneasy on the bike, so he groaned, feeling you tighter around him.

“Sorry!”, you giggled, “I get so nervous”

“Ya dun trust me?”, he asked, the wind blowing soft hitting your face

“Of course I do”, you said with a soft smile, “it's been a while since I rode in a bike”

Once you got used to the special stability of the motorcycle you started enjoying it, felt like you were flying, you hugged Daryl, more softly, but you did, placing your cheek by his/

“This is amazing”, you whispered, and he could hear you, even over the sound of the motor. “thank you”

Daryl guided Aaron out of the road into an alternative one, where you stopped and left the car and motorcycle, and you continued on foot, to scavenge a couple of houses and an abandoned stripcenter. 

“We are looking for people?”, you asked them both

“People who might join Alexandria”, said Aaron

“We have been following a trail”, muttered Daryl.

And the entire day, you spend with Daryl and Aaron, and you got see them work together, you always stood a bit back, watching them, and that calmed you, they were a good pair, and now you were…calmer about the idea of them being out here together, not that you had the “authority” to say anything about it. And in Daryl’s mind happened something similar, he did not want you to come out here, or at least, without him.

You came across fields, you checked out structures, you even managed to scavenge a few things you thought you might use back in Alexandria. a couple of camping lanterns, a sleeping back, and other things, even some canned goodies.

You didn’t find anyone though, nobody, not a single soul.

“LOOK WHAT I FOUND!”, You said, more excited than you should be for a canned meal, but it wasn’t just ANY canned meal, it was mac and cheese, yes you were a sucker for pasta sometimes.

Daryl actually chuckled when he saw what you were holding, and Aaron smiled as well

They had set a small fire, and you opened the can and placed it over hot coal to heat it. You rubbed together your hands in preparation 

It felt good to be out here again, because now, not like before, it was “controlled”, and it was your will, you knew you could go back to Alexandria, but scavenging was something you always enjoyed. Looking for new houses, things you could use, it was like treasure hunting.

You found horrible things too, but now that you were scavenging for your family outmatched the fear of finding something horrible. 

You ate your mac and cheese happily, even humming, as Daryl and Aaron refused the deliciousness, you had it all to yourself under their amused glances.

“What a nice day”, you said as you scrapped the last sauce of the can, “with my boys, out here, eatin’ some Mac&Cheese, easy breezy”

“M’glad your enjoyin’ ‘urself”, chuckled Daryl

“It’s nice to go out here, when you have a nice place to return to”, you whispered happily. You smiled widely at Aaron, who smiled in kind to you. 

“You got a little somethin”, Daryl whispered, leaning onto you

“What?”, you asked, without even thinking about it, he used his thumb and wiped a smear of cheese sauce from the side of your mouth. You were so surprised you didn’t even move as he wiped it. It was only a moment, but his closeness and his touch in your face, meant the world to you.

He stared at you after, he had such beautiful eyes. Aaron cleared his throat, and Daryl separated himself like you burned him. but the Alexandrian just smiled cheekily at you. 

When the sun was setting, you started your journey back, you hugged the archer gingerly, again.

“Thank you for this”, you whispered into his ear, he grumbled something, making his entire body rumble. You only chuckled, hugging him more.

And you literally rode into the sunset like a movie. 

But when you got back, as you were planning how to keep being in the company of the archer… you realized something wasn’t right… From Aaron’s place, where you stored Daryl’s bike, you could see Deanna’s house, and Rick and Glenn were there, and by their body language, something was terribly… terribly wrong.

“both of you, to the house, now!”, he commanded, you and Daryl shared looks, and after dropping the bike, you trotted to the big house. Everyone was there, and your stomach sank when you again felt that.. air… 

Beth cried, pretty loudly in the corner, being comforted by Maggie, and you were in the middle of it, with Rick, Michonne, Glenn… even Carol

As they filled you in, the run went terribly wrong, Noah was dead, so was Deanna’s son Aiden, and Tara was in the hospital, seriously injured. 

Nicholas, the idiot from the gates was speaking to Deanna, and the coward had his own version of the facts, and you could take a good guess who Deanna and Alexandria’s people were going to believe, but heavier than that… Aiden was dead, Deanna’s son. 

After listening to Glenn, you felt how everything started to collapse around you.

This was bad

Really, really bad

The Alexandrian were idiots, you knew it as soon as you saw them, especially after the altercation with Glenn and Aiden after the dry run the other day. Whoever thought it was a good idea to let them go together out there… was another idiot.

Rick looked at you. You looked back at him.

You knew how leadership worked, you were not going to diminish or contradict him in front of the group, no matter if it was your own family. 

You exited the house, Rick followed you closely

“Say it”, he said, as you were now on the porch, “say what you are thinking”

“Maybe we should leave, Rick”, you whispered, his panicked face said it all, “If you are worried, I’m sure there is a bunch of gated communities out there, we can take one, like the one Noah was from, make it our own”

“This place had electricity, water… its self-sustainable”, he said, desperate.

“I never said it was gonna be easy, but I bet Eugene can set us up with some solar panels, if you give me a couple of days I could see and copy some of the systems, we can recreate them”, you said, “I know how to draw good blueprints”

“We can’t leave, yesterday you were fine!”, he accused. 

“As we can clearly see, things change from one day to the next!”, you said, “the crash was brutal, between us and them”

“We can’t leave”, he repeated.

“We are clicks away from DC, don’t you think we can find something that looks like this?”, you asked him

“No”

“I’m sure they will allow a couple of us to stay while some finds it”, you said, “Judith and Carl can stay here while we scavenge for something good”

“We are not leaving!”, he said, grabbing onto his hair in exasperation, the crazy eyes returned, the ones he used when he first met Aaron, or the people from Terminus

“You wanted to know what I’m thinking, this is it”, you said softly, “for only your ears, but that’s what I’m thinking”

“This isn’t trying!”, he said 

“We cost Deanna her kid”, you said, “her son!”

“That’s not on us”, he said with warning

“They believe it is”, you said. “and if we don’t make this work, then we have nothing”, you said surely.

“Then you go”, he said, “go find this new place”, you nodded.

Only when there was nothing else to be said, and you made sure Beth was somewhat alright, you finally had some time to yourself and went to your room. 

Tears fell down your cheeks when you thought of Noah, that bright kid, he wanted to be an architect, he wanted to make sure we were gonna be safe here, that you had a future, a future for himself, after losing all of his family. 

Fuck, this was messes up.

Why him? Why does a kid have to go? you heard Glenn’s story and you wanted to kill that idiot, Tara was in the hospital with her head the size of a watermelon and that idiot was safe and sound in his house, and Deanna… had lost a kid.

You lost one of the youngest members of your group, you haven’t met him for long, you only had one conversation with him, that day in the hostage exchange in the hospital, and yet, you rubbed your chest, feeling it aching. 

“Hey”, you raised your head to look at Daryl, who was lying against the doorframe, “ya’ alright?”

“Yeah”, you wiped your tears, “he wanted to be an architect, you know? he asked to be placed in the development team with Reg and me”, you whispered.

“He wanted to make good f’this place”, he said, he looked uncomfortable, but he had approached you, so…

“He was just a kid!”, you whispered. “[for fucks sake]”, you whispered, for a second you forgot yourself, using your mothertongue instead

“What?”, asked Daryl, you looked at him and you felt your cheeks heated

“Sorry, I was just cursing”, you said, a bit embarrassed, but he seemed kinda impressed.

“That sounded so…”

“Foreign?”, you teased

“Cool”, he said simply, you laughed.

“Do you have another expedition tomorrow?”, you scooched over and he sat by your side in your bed. 

“What am I? the guy with the hat and the whip?”, he drawled, sitting by your side. 

“Indiana Jones?”, you laughed, “Do you have another run?”, you rephrased it

“Yeah”

“Can I go?”, you asked him, he looked at you sharply

“I don’t think it’s a good idea”, he muttered, you didn’t push him, but you got a dark feeling, had you done something? he didn’t enjoy it as much as you have?

“Oh”, you whined, but you tried to smile at him, “next time then”, you whispered, you had made it weird. 

The only thing he wanted was to take you with him, but after what happened with Noah, Glenn and Tara, he was terrified now, he didn’t want to lose you.

You looked at him longingly. 

He told you this very morning not to go on the run, and now two people were there, you dind’t know if you should feel relieved or guilty. If you had been there… would things turn out different? or far worse? would you be the one to be dead now? or you could have died?

Another hard lesson of this dark world, no more “what ifs”, it was what it was.

You had your own mission now, if Rick really meant it, you were to scavenge, and look for a new place, in case they kicked you out of this one. 

“This morning…”, you whispered, he looked back at you, so close to one another. “you told me not to go”, you said

“Told ya’ didn’t trust the bastards”, he muttered. “Nobody should have gone w’em”, he whispered.

“Daryl”, you called, his eyes found yours again, “come back… tomorrow”

“Yeah”, he whispered. “Always”

There it was again, the longing, the butterflies in your belly that something might happen, the excitement.

You couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment in which it happened, but now, as you looked at him, you realized… you liked him, you fell for him.

He looked around your room, it was a bit empty, but you already managed to make it cozy.

“Like the room”, he said

“Thanks, I’m hoping to find some more things, to make it more cozy”, you said hopefully

“I’ll leave ya’ to it”, he whispered, it was getting late, but you didn't want it to end, you didn't want him to go, but… you had nothing to offer him to stay. Your head was a mess, you needed to think about what happened and what will happen.

“G’night”, he whispered

“Good night”, you said softly, you wanted him to stay, to sleep by his side like you did on the road, but he left your room, and you felt terribly sad.

Noah gone, your new home in jeopardy, your family in danger of being out there again, alone, with no shelter over your heads, or food.

No, it wouldn’t come to that, it couldn’t. 

You needed to do something.

taglist ❤️

@crazyunsexycool

[joenotexotic99]

Idk if you're still making this, but I want to let you know that we're waiting for BoB Lovetropes p2. My suggestions: Toye, Eugene, Malarkey, Guarnere, Luz, Sobel. Hope you're doing okay <3

A/n: I've been dealing with some stuff lately and now finally have a little time to catch up on old stuff. I also want to apologize anon I couldn't bring myself to soble. Sorry couldn't do it.

-Warnings: fluff, tiny bit of language, got wayyy to carried away with malarkey’s, oops. Might have to turn that into its own thing, if it's not already. Luz is slightly spicy, nothing crazy but you cant miss it.-

Masterlist

Joe Toye

-grumpy vs sunshine trope. Omggggg, the idea of this has me kicking my feet and giggling. Joe Toye is rough around the edges, tough skin. You on the other hand have always been the positive one, keeping the people around you spirits high. Being an optimist of sorts. Maybe not cheerful but you could definitely make someone's day. Yet behind his grumpy facade, he can't help but notice your unwavering optimism. He wasn't opposed to love; he just never expected to be swept off his feet so quickly by one person. Your personality was anything but the same. Never in a million years did he think he was going to fall in love with a bright and shiny person, which was the exact reason why he loved you so much. You two were like night and day. You were the beacon of light in all the darkness. I feel like Toye would also be super protective over you. Kinda the same vibe as liebgott. But that's for another time. 

“Is that a smile I see on your face toye?” “I'm one lucky bastard you realize that?”

Eugene roe

-office romance/forced proximity. I didn't exactly know what to call this one. Both you and roe are easy company medics. Gene from the start, harbord a crush on you. And mean big time crush. Thinking about you he got butterflies in his stomach. You both spent significant time together. Typically the only times you were separated is when you were attending to fellow paratroopers. Bastogne was a turning point. You were in a jeep headed to the church, your hand and a cloth being the soul thing keeping a man alive. You almost made it before the church burst into flames. When Gene heard what happened he got the first ride possible to bastogne. When he saw you, hand now on a clearly dead man, he took you into his arms. He brought you back to the Adrennes forest. As usual you spent the night in genes fox hole the only difference was you both saw what was right in front of you for the first time and kissed. It wasn't until Austria where he gave you a promise ring where he promised to spend and devote the rest of his life with you.

“you make me the happiest man you know that y/n?”

“Tell me that again at our wedding”

Donald Malarkey 

-friends to lovers? Maybe a sprinkle of enemies to lovers?? I don't know but here me out. So you join the paratroopers as a female, the reason you got in was from connections in the army. Seeing how even if you are the most talented female there is, it's still the 40s here. I wouldn't think that the Toccoa men would flat out bully you, but would more just not believe in you. Probably leave you out of a lot of things. Kind of just pretend you weren't there. But not malarkey. He saw something in you that the rest didn't. Honestly he was shocked to see how they treated you. You were the best paratrooper there was in this company. You stood your ground. You met and exceeded in all categories. Passed each test with flying colors. You also were able to do it with the most incredible smile. As much as you disliked it, he stood up for you. Complimented and congratulated you when you did well. You really liked him. He was cute, kind, and not a douche wad. But sadly, most guys here if they weren't mean, they were trying to get Into your pants. As much as you wouldn't mind that with malarkey, you weren't here for that. One day in Aldbourne England you had enough. You weren't going to get swooned into bed and he had to know it. When you had a spare moment you grabbed him and pulled him aside and told him to stop. He was bewildered that this is how you perceived him. He explained to you that was not his intention. You could hear the sincerity of his voice. He meant it. This was the start of your friendship. You both were like a thing but not? Kinda a situationship. But it wasn't official until Haguenau. The effects of war painted across your faces. In one of the houses you laid in one of the beds, trying for the hundredth time to get some rest to no avail. He came and found you. There was little and a lot to say. Instead he kissed you. The past two years of friendship melted instantly into a lifetime of love. 

“god i've wanted you to do that for a long time”

“What happened to ‘I'm not here for a relationship’?”

“shut the fuck up and kiss me again would ya”

William Guarnere

-Enemies to lovers. Come on, this is so perfect. Guarnere is a natural bully. He bullies everybody all the time, but you? He loves bullying you. He always has an insult special for you up his sleeve. However, that's a lie. He hates it to his core. You are the sweetest person ever. All he wants to do is not bully you. He's somewhere in the middle of liebgott and Speers. He doesn't want to be seen as weak. He has this demnor he feels the need to uphold and that everybody around him expects. Not some ooey gooey man. Even though if he could he'd probably worship you. You were perfect in his eyes. He hates himself more and more but the more he digs himself into this hole the harder it is for him to get out. He finally cracks when someone else makes a particular mean stab at you one day at a bar in holland. He can hate himself all he fucking wants for bullying you. But somebody else is doing it? Hurting you? Not going to happen. He breaks his nose, jaw, maybe a rib or two, black eye and busted lip, all before he could get ripped off this guy. You get wind of this later. Within minutes you're confronting him. Before he shuts you up with a kiss.

“I thought you hated me”

“Hate you? No, For fuckes sake sweetheart, I'm in love with you”

George Luz

-meet cute. You originally met just before you signed up to be paratroopers. And I mean just before. You were getting blood work done to test how fit you were to fight.  As you waited in the lobby to fill out paperwork, you went to reach for your pen. That's when you realized it wasn't there. It just so happens that a very cute guy next to you had an extra with him. You quickly filled the paper and exchanged names and conversations. On the way home you couldn't get him out of your head. So couldn't he. Later when you were assigned to easy company you found the one and only George luz. The same extremely handsome guy at the clinic. He immediately recognized you. How could he not? Your face and laugh had been at the front of his thoughts a lot lately. You tried to keep both of your composure during Toccoa seeing how you didn't want to get into any trouble. But that all fell apart after one weekend with a pass and some alcohol. Kisses were shared, clothes were shed and hands roamed. After that night you made it official. Luz also started writing his vows.

“you know I've never felt this way before”

“What the sex or me? Because If it wasn't the sex let me know so we can go again”

“both luz, but I can't turn that offer down now can I”

[nerdasaurus1200]

I just realized some sad things about Eugene and Varian’s talk in PEEV so Imma talk about that scene.

So first Eugene starts pretty small with it. I think you could interpret this as either Eugene trying to imply Quirin being a mole as gently as he can, or bringing up a sort of…I guess fact to start the tense conversation. And of course it kinda flies over Varian’s head. He takes it at face value, making sure to reassure Eugene. Which to me implies Eugene has probably been worrying about the Brotherhood for a while now.

So Eugene tries again, much more obvious this time. Although he never outright says anything he directly points the finger at Quirin. The implication is there. And lately I’ve been wondering if there’s something a little deeper to this conversation. i feel like could easily be echos of season 1 cause the whole reason Varian’s villain arc started was cause his dad was in danger. And now his dad is in danger, again. Except Eugene may be trying to not repeat history by actually checking on Varian this time and trying to nip this potential threat in the bud.

And if you listen to the dialogue Varian never actually says it either. But you can see in his eyes. Now that Eugene’s planted the idea in his head, the fear is very much there. And his trauma from season 1 is probably coming back a bit too.

So of course he mildly deflects and snaps at Eugene. I think this is…I’d say 60% trauma reaction, with the other 40% being Varian just being generally angry at the idea that Quirin would ever betray or hurt him. And maybe slightly at the idea that Cassandra would do that to him. Cause Adira and Hector are one thing, Edmund and Quirin is a new low.

Also I think this is actually the first time we’ve actually seen Varian seriously angry since season 1 ended. Yeah we’ve seen him pissed before this season but that was for jokes. There is nothing funny about Varian’s anger here. Cause when Varian gets angry shit goes down.

So of course Eugene backs off and drops the topic. He probably thinks (or rather hopes) Varian has some failsafe already taken care of for that situation but I think it’s more likely that Eugene doesn’t wanna press Varian any further and trigger him.

But, sadly…Varian knows Eugene is right. He knows he has to do something to make sure nobody gets seriously hurt or worse when Quirin inevitably turns on them.

[alyygx]

Just Hold My Hand

Paring: Eugene Roe x Reader

Requested?: Yes, by @xxluckystrike

Warnings: None really. Just lots of fluff. So much fluff, in fact, you'll feel like you're floating on a cloud!

A/N: This is the first fic I've written in quite a long time so please be kind. I hope you all like it! And if you do please tell your friends or maybe even reblog! And then shoot me a request while you're at it. 😊

The cigarette smoke hung thick in the air as you sat smiling to yourself watching the rowdiness around you. These boys sure know how to enjoy themselves and Lord knows they all deserved it. Especially after everything this war had put them through. You were nursing your second glass of wine sitting on a stool that was brought outside. Everyone was gathered at a clearing in the woods just next to the beautiful building you were all staying in while in Austria. Spiers had forced everyone outside after the noise being made interfered with him concentrating on his paperwork. But there was no stopping the celebration. VE day was definitely something that needed celebrating. After all, it had been a long time coming. Sometimes you felt as if the war would last forever; that somehow this was just your life now, an endless cycle of blood, violence and death. You were one of the medics in Easy Co. and though you would do practically anything to take care of your war family you frankly couldn't stand seeing one more soldier wounded, bleeding, or in pain. It completely broke your heart in two. At that you grabbed your glass of wine and downed it, attempting to chase the thought away.

In the distance of the buzzing party chaos you heard a voice, sounding a lot like Luz but slurred, summoning you to come and join in the festivities. It's not that you weren't extremely thrilled that the Germans surrendered, far from it, you just really weren't a party person. The majority, if not the entirety, of the men were thoroughly drunk at this point and you were just ready to get out of there. You shook your head 'no' in Luz's direction and slid off the stool you were sitting on.

"Sorry guys. You're having way too much fun I'm afraid I couldn't keep up tonight." You said chuckling.

Luz just shrugged his shoulders and with a smile turned back to the group. As you turned to walk away you collided with another warm body only to discover it was Eugene.

"Where have you been hiding? I've been sitting here waiting for you!" You giggled, looking at your fellow medic waiting for his answer.

You and Gene had steadily grown closer and closer over the course of the war. Him being one of the few soldiers in company who could completely understand the things you were going through and vice versa. You both had finally admitted your feelings for each other and made things official shortly after Bastogne. With everything that happened in that God forsaken forrest being worried about rejection suddenly seemed like a stupid reason to not share what you feeling. Eugene apparently felt the same way too because you both ended up just blurting it out to each other at the same time and then laughing at your shared impatience.

"Sorry darlin' I didn't realize the location of the festivities had been changed. Walked around inside looking for everyone for 20 minutes before Spiers yelled from his office for me to look outside." He said smiling at you.

After glancing around at the other men and their drunken antics though his smile fell.

"You don't actually want to be here do you?" You asked, secretly hoping he wanted to do literally anything else but hang around this party.

"What?" He said suddenly as if you snapped him out of a thought. "Do you wanna get out of here?" Gene asked, taking both of your hands in his.

A wide smile spread across your face as your grip on Gene's hands tightened. He could tell by the look in your eyes that you had an idea.

"Yeah, and I think I know just the place to go."

Letting go of one of Gene's hands and pulling him along with the other you both started walking away from the festivities and onto a path that would lead you deeper into the woods. After walking together for several minutes, your hands never parting, you arrived at the lake. The moonlight was reflecting off the water and the mountains lined the background standing tall and regal topped with snow at their tips. It was the clearest night you'd seen in awhile. Not a single cloud in the sky and the stars shining so big and bright they looked like literal diamonds glistening out from a black background.

"This has been my favorite spot since we arrived here." You said staring out at the view. "But I had no idea how beautiful it would be at night"

Your eyes never left the view, Gene's eyes, however, never left you.

"Well, let's enjoy it then." Gene said, slowly beginning to sit on the ground, pulling you with him by your still entwined hands. You both laid close to each other, your hands still never parting.

"I use to do this all the time as a child." Gene told you. "Just laying, staring up at the stars at night. Really has a way of helping you figure things out."

You nodded your head in agreement. Allowing your thoughts to wander. To take you to what life will be like after you finally get to go home. You had told Gene that after you took a quick trip to see your family and gather your things that you would move to New Orleans with him. You're far from having second thoughts but now that Germany had surrendered you were beginning to get even more nervous about it.

"Gene?" You ask softly.

"Hmmm..." He hummed in acknowledgement.

"What if they don't like me?"

"Huh? Who mon cher?"

"Your family. I've never lived so far away from home before. What if they don't like me?"

Gene just smiled. His thumb beginning to rub circles on the back of your hand.

"Oh chérie. You have nothing to worry about. I know for a fact that they're going to love you. If for no other reason than because I love you."

This made you smile. Gene had always had a way of soothing you no matter what you were upset about. It's one of the many reasons you fell for him.

"Things are going to be so great once we get home. We might have to stay with my parents for a little while before we find a place of our own. But once I get a job and save up I'm gonna buy you the prettiest house in New Orleans. We'll fix it up real nice inside and get everything set to start our lives together!"

Gene was squeezing your hand now in such a manner that you couldn't help but feel his excitement. It was getting you hopeful for the future too. But at the same time you were still nervous. He seemed to pick up on this because he suddenly stopped talking.

"You ok?" He asked turning to face you.

"Yeah." You started. "It all sounds wonderful, it really does. It's just the idea of being in a new place so far from my family. I'm still a little nervous. It'll be different then being away from them like I have during the war because this time it'll be by choice. Or at least more of a choice than I felt I had when I enlisted." You sighed.

Gene just looked at you with those soft eyes of his you loved so much. Eyes so full of caring and compassion you could've just leaned over and kissed him right there.

"Everything will be fine mon amour. Any time you feel nervous or unsure all you have to do is just hold my hand. I promise that with time it will feel like home. We'll build our home together, we'll build our life together, and then once you feel comfortable we can get married." Gene smiled a hopeful smile while fishing his free hand in his pocket and suddenly pulling out something shiny.

You gasped, your eyes growing wide. It was the most beautiful ring you had ever seen.

"Well, what do you think?" He asked, holding the ring to hover over your left ring finger. "Will you marry me?"

Tears now filled your eyes. The whole thing felt like a dream. A dream you never wanted to wake from.

"Of course I will." You answered, the tears now running down your cheeks.

"We're gonna make it chère. I promise. Doesn't matter if the times are good or bad, all you have to do is just hold my hand."

[marvelousmagicalaura]

I have a bunch of theories about The Lost Metal and Era 3, particularly about what Sazed is planning.

Sazed has master plans

I know this may end up being an unpopular opinion. But to me the story came across as if Sazed has been operating as the Chessmaster the entire time, all part of a coordinated effort to outmaneuver Autonomy. An effort to make her withdraw her army and interest in Telsin. I think a lot of little quotes in The Lost Metal, and certain quotes in the previous books, point to Sazed subtly maneuvering everyone - Wax, Wayne, Marasi, Kelsier and his Ghostbloods, Marsh, Tobal and Maraga, Steris (?). All with very powerful, very subtle future sight to make specific outcomes come to fruition.

Since chapter 19 I suspected Sazed had a plan in motion, one that needed him to arrange “help” unaware they were mobilized to be the “help.” One that required him to play games over and over with Autonomy. This suspicion came back once Wax speculated he always intended for him to be the Sword that stops a God Metal bomb.

Chapter 71 confirmed aspects of future sight I was curious about… ever since I started analyzingthe Terris Prophecies. Sazed confirmed that he sees future possibilities, automatically analyzes something as complex as a harmonium-trellium bomb, think much faster than mortals, and can discern the probabilities of an action (i.e. 1% chance of success, 99% chance of failure). Sazed even fleshed out what Fuzz warned Kelsier - even future sight as great as Preservation’s can be wrong. Sazed also confirmed that while Shards see future possibilities and analyze probabilities, they don’t always know the “why” of a possibility. Such as “why” it is good. This eased my suspicions.

But then Kelsier’s epilogue came along. While I don’t think Sazed is acting “all is perfectly according to keikaku,” he’s acting close enough. I think he was ultimately keeping certain, ultimate future outcomes in mind. The responses to Kelsier’s frustration made alarm bells ring in my mind:

"I had it in hand."

"Luck is a different thing to a god who can see futures, I think."

"I have it in hand."

"People should discover it on their own. If they do not, there are subtle consequences."

What if Sazed always knew Trell was Autonomy? After all Autonomy created Trelagism, and we know from book 3’s epilogue that Preservation hid “gems” in Trelagism to help the Hero of Ages. What if he let Autonomy’s plans get to this stage, knowing he could efficiently arrange pieces that could stop her? Or maybe he bet it would be the perfect event to encourage the continents to advance and progress?

What if Sazed was betting on Wax fulfilling his duties after the Lessie fiasco? What if he intentionally molded Wayne into the Slider who could accomplish the partial detonation? What if he knows the history of Scadrian eugenics and discerning what could happen if he directly GIVES knowledge of future tech?

His name shall be Discord, and they shall love him for it.

It’s obvious that Sazed is becoming Discord. Or perhaps, he’s already Discord by the time of Kelsier’s epilogue.

There’s clearly something going on with Sazed’s Shard, we just don’t know what. Harmony’s Intent left him unable to act, creating a state where every action needs equilibrium between P&R’s attributes. And there was a dark shadow throughout TLM. Kelsier speculates the shadow exists because Ruin was always stronger. Marsh’s interview with Khriss implies it may be the result of Ruin being subservient to Preservation.

My theory is Discord will be a good thing. Sazed directly educated Wax and Wayne about the bomb’s mechanics AND told them how to detonate it. Dulled the wave coming over Wax. Arranged for under 10 people to foil Autonomy’s complex plans, while his future sight was BLINDED. This is the most effective he’s been yet. I think Discord will be a Shard representing Sazed’s realization that Ruin and Preservation can’t always be in exact balance. Sometimes, Preservation’s attributes are needed most. Other times, Ruin’s attributes are needed most. I believe this mindset allow him to act, to commit actions that are EITHER of Preservation or Ruin.

I think Sazed is just trying to carefully move through his web of future possibilities. Preservation seemingly foresaw Discord will be a good thing. But if Sazed makes the wrong move, I bet he could invalidate that prediction.

How to make the Bands of Mourning, Excisors, unkeyed metalminds

Unkeyed metalminds contain attributes that aren’t attached to a Feruchemist’s Identity. But without Full Feruchemists, it’s impossible for a sole Feruchemist to create an unkeyed metalmind.

My theory is the Southern Scadrians are extensively using the same method as the Set’s keep-people-alive Hemalurgy. I think to create an unkeyed metalmind, Southerners are using a Command and a very thin duralumin spike. This would rip off a piece of the Feruchemist’s Identity, making any future storing Identity-less.

I think the Excisors are nicrosil and/or duralumin spikes.

The Bands of Mourning is the really tough cookie. Kelsier is no longer an Allomancer and definitely not a Feruchemist, so he couldn’t use his own powers to create the Bands. There’s no way he used Northerners to make them. There are a lot of logistics issues. My theory is Sazed directly created the Bands of Mourning and guided Kelsier into hiding it.

It wouldn’t be the first time Sazed subtly helped the Southerners. Sazed gave them harmonium and a perpendicularity, and we’ve seen how well they’ve been used.

[duchessonfire]

Savior Carl!AU re-read Part 1 Chapter 3

Follow-up of my re-read of Part 1 Chapter 2. If you're not interested and don't want to have your dashboard spammed, you can block the tags Duchess reads and Savior Carl AU reread.

Commentary for Part 1, Ch 3 below the cut (spoilers for part 1 ahead):

Fun fact: I used to hate the title of this chapter ("Wives and candy"). When I was writing part 1 in 2021, I wrote this title as a placeholder on my word document because I figured I'd think of something better down the line. Then, when I finished the chapter and was ready to post, I had not, in fact, thought of something better. So I just added it as the title chapter but I hated it. All the other chapter titles came to me very easily and were super evocative: "I'm Negan", "The hard way is the only way", "Don't stop until you see blood". All of them were direct quotes from either Carl or Shane so they felt very poetic to me. And then... there was "Wives and candy". Definitely the odd duck of the bunch. In fact, I remember changing it to something else soon after posting (it was 4 years ago so I don't remember what it was) and then still being dissatisfied so I just changed it back to "Wives and candy".

The thing is, this chapter really is about wives and candy. For all that I dislike the title, it works because its simplicity encapsulates what this chapter is about: rewards.

Negan sees the wives as rewards. It might sound obvious but it's something that always strikes me when I rewatch "The Cell" episode (7x03) where Negan tells Dwight he's been doing a good job with Daryl so he tells him to pick any wife he wants to spend the night with as long as she consents to it. This scene is always mindboggling to me because Negan is so deeply possessive and territorial that it feels almost OOC. He gets so angry when he and Amber talk about her cheating in the "Sing Me a Song episode" (7x07, aka my fave episode ever, aka the single greatest thing to have ever happened on tv). He talks sweetly to Amber, up until that moment when he reminds her the wives aren't allowed to cheat on him, and you can see his barely restrained rage. For a while, I had a hard time reconciling those two aspects of him, that someone so possessive could so casually offer his wives to a soldier as reward. Until I realize that Negan doesn't really see the wives as people, but as objects that are his to share as he wishes. What bothered him about Amber cheating on him wasn't that she slept with another man, but that she did so without Negan's permission. Negan doesn't really have any feelings for the wives. He can be tender with Amber, and there's definitely chemistry and maybe even understanding with Sherry, but it's all extremely shallow and superficial. He doesn't love them, doesn't care for them, doesn't do much other than provide them with luxuries. At the end of the day, the wives serve a purpose: to be warm and nice bodies for men to escape reality in. It's what Negan himself does (he tells Eugene in 7x11 Hostiles and Calamities that there's nothing better than conversation with a nice-smelling woman to make him feel like a man again) and it's what he offers Dwight. And in chapter 3, it's what he offers Carl, first by sending the wives to keep him company, and then by literally offering Carl to have sex with one of his wives as reward for saving his life.

Chapter 3 is Carl's first introduction to Negan's harem. He knew of the wives before, but he had no interest in them (he doesn't even recognize that Tanya is a wife at first, because the wives stay in their apartments and rarely mingle with the other people of the factory).

even before getting shot he never paid too much attention to the wives. He’d learned what he could about them, just as he had with everyone else in the Sanctuary, but he’d never pushed it past names and previous occupations. The role they play for Negan makes him uncomfortable, like something deeply private that should be kept secret instead of being paraded around for everyone to see. Carl isn’t stupid, and he isn’t ignorant. He knows what sex and love are. He’s seen it with his mom and Shane in the beginning, and he’s spent half of his adolescent life with Glenn and Maggie, and not so long ago, he saw Shane trying to put on his best face for Jessie, back in Alexandria. But Negan doesn’t act with his wives the way Glenn or Shane looked at women like his mom, or Maggie or Jessie. It isn’t love, it’s possessiveness, and probably something more physical that Carl just avoids thinking about.

This whole chapter is about Carl's relationship to women and to heterosexual relations, the weight that they carry and how they affect the people around him. It's why this part of the chapter is so focused on female characters and, more specifically, their influence on the male characters. The flashbacks are about Jessie and Shane. Carl dreams of Beth. He interacts for the first time with Sherry, Tanya, Frankie and Beth. Sherry, especially, makes an impression on Carl.

Carl at this point of the story is so sexually repressed he's bordering on asexual. It's something that I explore more in part 2, but having to grow up in the apocalypse, being isolated from anyone his age, and being constantly focused on survival has emotionally and sexually stunted Carl. He's 18 but has never had more than puppy love for Beth (and it's no coincidence that this happened when his mom was still alive and he still felt reasonably safe to act like a kid). And yet, in spite of this, Carl notices how sexual feelings affect Shane when he meets Jessie. He sees it again in the infirmary, when literally every man around him is sexually attracted to Sherry (Negan, Shane, Carson and Joey the Savior). He's both highly aware of people's sexual desires and completely unaware of his own.

Which leads to one my favorite things about this chapter, and something that still haunts Carl even though he never allows himself to think about it: how Negan views women.

One night, after spending the whole day with nothing to do but watch Amber cover every single one of her finger and toe with nail polish, Carl dreams of Beth, Jessie, Enid, Rosita, Sasha and Maggie, all watching over him in black dresses and heels.

This one short passage encapsulates so much about Carl's feelings in this chapter. It shows how aware Carl is of Negan's predatory instincts toward women (but also toward everything and everyone else) as well as his (very founded and justified) fear that Negan's hunger for power and conquest is endless, that he will marry every single woman Carl has ever met, dead or alive, that they will all join his harem and don the wife uniform. It's a scary vision and it's one that becomes likely the more he knows about Negan's far-reaching empire.

During the whole chapter, Carl is haunted by the wives' smell and their flowery perfume. So far, Carl has mainly been in contact with Saviors and workers, but his convalescence is his first time being in contact with the wives' lifestyle: how clean they are, how impractical their clothes are for the apocalypse, how their days are spent in leisure doing nothing but read and paint their nails. It shocks him, and while Negan sees the wives as a distraction for Carl in the infirmary, something to make his stay there more pleasant, like the soda cans and candy bars he sends to Carl's bedside, to Carl they are a burden and an uncomfortable reminder of his own disabled state. In fact, getting away from them as quickly as possible is a big incentive to him speeding up his recovery. None of the women Carl has been around before were like the wives. Maggie, Sasha and Rosita are all fighters, trained for survival like him. In a way, they are similar to female Saviors like Arat or Laura. But the wives are presenting Carl with another path to survival that he never considered, one where their skills are applied in the bedroom rather than in the wild. This harsh reminder of the sexual world of Sanctuary - Negan's sexual world especially - is not a pleasant one for someone as sexually repressed as Carl. And yet, it's a world that will change him irremediably.

I was so excited to write about Carl and Sherry's first meeting. While Carl has never thought about Sherry other than in passing when he heard about her escape with Dwight, Sherry has obviously been thinking about him:

“He likes you,” she says as she reshuffles the card.  “Carson?” The corner of her mouth lifts up, like they just shared a secret joke. “Negan,” she corrects. Carl frowns at her, and she elaborates: “I heard what happened before you got shot, at the market and then in the Saviors’ mess hall. He likes you.” Carl snorts. “He keeps threatening to kill me whenever I piss him off.” “And yet, he hasn’t.” “Not so far.” Sherry places her cards in neat row on the covers. “He’ll hurt you, you know?” Her voice doesn’t waver, still perfectly even, like they’re just talking about the weather. “That’s what he does to the people he likes. He hurts us to see how much we can take. It’s his idea of fun.” She’s right, he knows that. He has seen it first-hand, the way Negan keeps taunting him, humiliating him, pressing Lucille on top of his shoulder, knowing exactly that every time he does, Carl keeps seeing Glenn and Abraham’s bloody faces. And yet, it irks him to have Sherry say it out loud, as if someone else acknowledging it makes it worse. “He hasn’t done anything to me,” he points out, because it’s technically true. “Not so far,” she replies, her eyes never leaving the cards, a dam of paper delicately erected between them.

Sorry for quoting this entire dialogue, but it means so much to me. Sherry is the first person in Sanctuary to see Negan's interest in Carl for what it is: dangerous. Sherry knows Negan more intimately than most, is probably closer to him than anyone else, as was made abudantly clear in 7x07, and she knows better than anyone that Negan's interest in Carl can lead only to disaster (while people like Carson see it as an honor). It's the first time anyone has talked to Carl about something that he has noticed himself - how interested Negan is in him, how the close interactions between them deviate from the norm - but that he never wanted to dwell on. She recognizes the cat and mouse game that Negan is playing with Carl and tries to warn Carl, but at this point in the story, Carl is not ready to hear it. If anything, he's upset that Sherry would remark on it, which is something that reflects the downward slide that Carl is on. He knows that Negan is "bullying" him (that's how Carl views Negan's interest in him) but he feels protective and possessive of that bullying. This Carl is starved for attention, the attention that Shane gave him unconditionally when he was a child, the attention that changed and became abusive when Shane was training him after his mother's death, the attention that started to shift away from him when they got to Alexandria, only to be given sparingly when Jessie wasn't around, and that finally vanished completely once they joined Sanctuary. Shane has done nothing but isolate Carl from the people around him, making Carl dependent on him for any kind of attention. Unbeknownst to Shane, however, Negan has been watering Carl's withered garden (little Queen Charlotte reference for any Bridgerton fan).

I could go on and on about this chapter and all it means to me despite the really bad title, but this post is far too long already so I'll wrap it up with this:

“I’m sorry, does this look like a fucking resort to you? Do you see me sipping Mai Tais on the beach? Yes, work. I’ve invested a whole lotta time and resources in you, kid. I expect it to pay off. So from now on, every day from noon to sundown, you’re gonna be my assistant. You’re gonna follow me around, watch, listen, learn, and generally do whatever the fuck I need you to do. And don’t expect to sleep in in the mornings. I want you working on your aim every second you’re not with me. First with those darts I generously provided for you, then with a gun aimed at dead ones in the courtyard, until I feel confident that you can leave the Sanctuary without shooting someone in the ass. Anything you wanna add to that?” Negan’s tone doesn’t suffer any objection and to hear him have so much faith in Carl’s ability to get his aim back is entirely unexpected. “I… No, I – it’s just I thought you were gonna send me away.” “Send you away? Kid, I don’t know what kind of crack-head-level, bullshit-inducing drugs Carson’s been feeding you, but you ain’t going anywhere. What makes you think otherwise?” Carl looks away, suddenly self-conscious. “It’s – I mean… I just thought – with the eye, you know.” Negan’s surveys him with his piercing gaze for a moment, before his expression turns softer. His tone when he speaks is understanding: “Carl, I’m not sending you away. Like I said, I’ve invested in you and I plan on having you around here for a long time. So you’re stuck with me, kid.”

On top of having one of the greatest lines Savior!AU Negan has ever said (I've never had a Mai Tai, but boy do I want one now), this scene lays the groundwork for everything that will happen after. The eye changed everything for Carl. It made Shane abandon him but it made Negan more interested in him than ever and, in turn, it made Carl's allegiance shift from Shane to Negan.

Conclusion; tldr: Chapter 3 is Carl's introduction to the world of the harem. He's sexually repressed so he doesn't realize that his discomfort of the wives is already rooted in jealousy. The wives, and especially Sherry, represent a world that seems wondrous to Carl: one filled with leisure and luxury and comfort and, most importantly, Negan's attention. By taking a bullet for him, Carl bought himself Negan's gratitute, a very rare thing that Negan tries - and fails - to reward with material objects (candy, sodas, sex with the wives, comic books). Negan is desperate to repay Carl for what he did, not knowing that the one thing Carl needs most of all is what Negan is already giving: his attention.

You can find my commentary on Part 1, chapter 4 here.

[streamdotpng]

Enid is in rut

People expect someone possessive, an aggression that leads her to lashing out

Instead, Enid is dying

She has always loved touch, loved the feeling of a skin against hers. It can be the tiniest brush of shoulders or a hand clasped around her fingers but what Enid truly wants?

Is a hug.

And oh, does she want one. She craves it like one craves food after days of starving. She wishes and wants with a feverence of an addict not getting their fix, shaking and trembling in bed.

Enid thinks that if someone were to wrap their arms around her right now, she could ctrl alt 4f from this life peacefully.

But there was a catch.

It couldn't be from just anyone.

Enid has tried with others. Hooked her chin along Yoko's shoulder, giving a small squeeze to Divina, a side hug to Eugene.

But it isn't enough.

There's an ache in her chest, the one that sobs and cries like a child of before. Enid hasn't heard it be this loud and she's left glassy eyed for the whole day, her mind blank and her body on auto pilot.

It's back in her dorm does Enid realizes what she's missing.

Wednesday.

It's a relief, the way her body immediately relaxes at the familiar smell of lavender but with it comes this acceptance. It is not of joy, but rather a resignation. Like knowing that refreshing the page for tickets won't do a thing but she does it anyways In hopes that it can change anything.

Insanity maybe?

Wednesday would like that, knowing she drove her roommate insane.

As the wolf lies in bed, her mind begin to run and run. She has hugged Wednesday once, hugged her like her life depended on it.

She's going to die like this, Enid thinks as she curls up in her bed. She's going to die a wilted miserable flower, missing the sunshine it so desperately needs.

Because even before this, Enid had wanted so bad to do it again. To wrap her arms around the roommate that makes her heart still, to lay her head onto the shoulder of someone she loves and wishes for.

So yes, Enid is dying.

Because there's no way Wednesday Addams will give her a hug.

Or, I want to explore the non sexual things that happens during ruts! Aka give Enid a lil hormonal push to want to cross the boundary, to reach over and just maybe hold Wednesday's hands

Except, Enid can't and she won't

Because wednesday doesn't like touch and Enid will have to accept it

(or does she?)