#but i reaaally wanna know

[hellaephemeral]

i’m actually curious so please leave your unpopular bllk opinions in the tags/comments of this post <3

[wormy-worm]

Penjamin!

Heres a character design thats been floating around my mind for a few months. He's based on a dream i had while sleeping through class about a guy named pen who got a boring miserable finance job he doesnt like, and is always doodling over his work. I think he has a real propensity for creative things and i think he really likes action comics. But pen was never given the space to explore or cultivate that artistic side outside the margins of his notebook pages. He was put on a specific path and is expected to act in a very specific way. He thinks that the only true measurement of success is the traditional kind and that his other interests are childish (this is a mindset that was very much taught, he drew a LOTTT more when he was younger). So his art is very messy and childlike i think. lots of stuff he draws just cuz its SICK, superheros and monsters and stuff. he likes using crayons too. His life continues very monotonously until one day when his doodle COME TO LIFE and burst off the page, wreaking havoc on the city!! so now its up to Penjamin (and his crayons that can create anything he can think of!) to capture and erase all his doodles. And in having to come up with creative solutions to catching each doodle, as well as having to draw his way out of many situations, Penjamin learns to accept and cultivate his own wants and creativity. He learns he wants to make art even if its frivolous, and even if hes not very good at it, and even if he started taking it seriously "too late". I think at the end he gets a new job that, while maybe less traditionally successful, he likes more. One that gives him more time to draw and read comics and cook and sing and drive his stupid car around. More time to just be a human guy.

He's repressed and pretentious and a slacker and just absolutely goofy <3 ily blorbo from my dreams. blorbo from my visions.

[fisheito]

Hi! Um, any tips on how to color/shade?

-Because i am beyond terrible at it

m..me?? cooouring? i mean. i hate colouring so much that i flat-col the minimum for character recognition and call it done

if i absolutely HAvE to shade something . i'll use the :shrug: shortcut of starting with the base colour, then tweaking the Saturation/Lightness bars: -shadow: lower saturation and lightness -light: whatever saturation, higher lightness

if the character is somewhere with a distinct colour theme, i'll try to shift the base/shadows/lights to that colour.

likewise if there's a distinct coloured light source, i'll make the light on the char similar to that source

imagine me sitting on one section of the colour wheel. and walking toward the destination colour. just picking up colours in between. idk how legit it is, but i'm doing it

sometimes i'll be all srs and try detailed light/shadows but. it ends up makin my drawing too busy. a mess.

CORRECT: try to replicate that light source IRL or thru reference so u can figure out why it looks wrong, then correct your placements

INCORRECT, BECAUSE I'M LAZY: do a simple shape-based cel shade and let the audience's brain finish the job 😂

also i try not to use pure black or pure white for shading. i used to paint the night sky as 100% (zero lightness) black and the moon as 100% (ALL LIGHTNESS) white and my instructor wanted to fling me out a window. i could see it in their eyes. as they gently explained how IRL conditions are rarely 100% black or 100% white. maybe the night sky, depending on the conditions,, (if u actually colour drop a photo) is like 9% lightness with a tinge of blue. the moon is 96% lightness tinged orange. idk

[theduckboy]

hi happy pride 🏳️‍🌈 (dc fan pride month starts a day early because we are cool 👍). i look away for like a month and the miguel o'hara spider-man tag turns into 90% reader fanfiction posts. What is happening dude

[orcelito]

OK so I have an inkling of an idea for a trigun ficlet. A one-shot, really. Not really any plot, but I just have the urge to write my own interpretation of Weird Plant Shit. Like for how much ppl tag this stuff as xeno, most of it's honestly pretty tame. Which kinda makes sense, considering a lot of this is being based off of the plants in stampede, which While uncanny are not NEARLY the amount of inherent horror of the plants in the manga. There's some FREAKY shit going on there. So like. You know. What if I took more inspiration from That for Vash's freaky shit?

[rexscanonwife]

My embarrassing crush on Knives aside I would take Meryl for the lesbian ride of her LIFE

[angeltism]

ever feel like words aren't enough and uu need to leap at somebun at an ungodly speed and hug them with enough force to crush several of those really annoying plastic water jug things

^ these bitches

[ofallthingsnasty]

Sorry for the radio silence, I'm prepping for my dental surgery exam and it's. So much. 😭 It's on wednesday and afterwards I'll actually have some free time until my next exam (april 4th, one day before my birthday lol)!! I'll get to all of your asks then 💕💕 Thanks for sending in so much 🥹

[honeybeekao]

i may make a new tumblr i think that may help me with coming back

[schreckensbleiches-nervenbuendel]

Dylan "Harte Schale, weicher Kern" Parks vs. Dylan "der manipulativste Mörder in Rocky Beach" Parks

They're in my head and they're fighting 🥺

[sonicunleash]

does anyone wanna take my shift todaaaay i can make you. a banger chili or chicken salad or. other such things

[berrymeter]

about to go to bed & my mother asks me for 70€ like i havent been living off of takeaways bc i cant afford groceries... ma'am i am an artist what makes u think i have money

[sexilene]

thinking about raising your voice at johnb and he's putting you in your place...🤐🤐🤐

yessss yummmm omgggg!!!! ᥫ᭡ᥫ᭡ᥫ᭡ warnings!! (pa!nal, orgasm denial, spitting, gagging, threats of spanking!!) ignore any misspellings lol sorry!! 🧁

when your boyfriend decides to punish you for stepping out of line he intends to see it through, most times he’s quite gentle about it, and other times he can be reaaally mean which basically means that he doesn’t give in to your whining and pouting. sure you were most likely just stressed or overwhelmed but in his eyes, that's no excuse for lashing out at him especially when you and john b had been working on using your words or expressing yourself through gentle physical gestures like hand holding, hugs, lap sitting, thigh humping…

this time around you had raised your voice at him during a seemingly normal conversation about what to eat for dinner which then somehow evolved into an argument about you being a little too friendly towards the guys you were attending to at your job.

“i hear what you're saying baby, but i hope you can see how i interpret it when those assholes put their hands on you or-or when you smile at them n’ lead em’ on.”

“no, you’re the asshole!! i’m was not leading them on i was just doing my job…but i can’t do my job if you come rushing in like some prince charming, i don’t need you to do that!”

“doing your job and flirting are two different things bub.” your boyfriend raises his eyebrows almost like he’s warning you to choose your next words wisely. completely disregarding the warning, you fire back at him.

“you could have gotten me fired! i hate you!” you shout, walking away from him and heading for the bedroom to slam the door. he knows you don't really mean it when you use those words with him but how else will you learn that speaking to him that way is just so disrespectful! not when he does everything to make sure you are happy, safe, healthy, and dicked down when you 'neeeeeded' it!

“no hey! take that back!” he growls, grabbing onto your wrist tightly to keep you from storming away further. when john b doesn’t get the answer he was expecting he decides enough is enough and picks you up n' throws you over his shoulder to take you into his room. “fine, you wanna be a brat? be a brat.”

next thing you know, your boyfriend's got your panties pulled down and he’s pushing his cock into your tight little ass without any prep. you gasp as he’s sitting you on it, “no! no more! m’sorry! i don’t wanna!” you cry and protest the punishment, digging your nails into the arm that is keeping your back pressed against his chest, sitting on his bed, split on his monster dick.

“mmm nmm, don’t wanna hear it now.” john b huffs from behind you, his cheek pressed against the side of your head. he brings his other hand down to play with your clit and give your pussy little slaps.

“said- i was sorry!” you whine, your cunt clenching around nothing.

“nope, lost your privilege to speak a while ago…” he brings his bandana up to your mouth and gags you with it, and you know better than to try and spit it out.

“such a spoiled princess, go on bubba, cry on my fingers.” he coos, now starting to finger open your sopping wet pussy with two of his insanely thick fingers. tears stream down your face, drooling and whining into his bandana in your mouth.

“so spoiled,” he groans, trying his hardest not to thrust up into your tight hole as he’s fingering you. the warmth of his body envelops you, his strength and size overwhelm you with emotions. just being close to him like this makes you want to take back every mean thing you’ve ever said to him no matter how justified.

"thaaaat's it, baby," he whispers when he hears how embarrassingly loud the sounds of wetness your cunt makes with each in-and-out motion of his fingers. “you hate me?” he asks knowing full well you couldn’t answer back with words.

“mmmph!” you shake your head and whine, gripping his big arms, nails digging into his skin. his fingers curl inside you, hitting that sweet spot over and over and all you can do is sit with his cock in your ass and take it, drooling on the fabric in your mouth.

“yeaaah i know, we don’t talk to daddy like that do we?” he coos again this time a little more condescendingly, pressing wet kisses to your cheek repeatedly. you shake your head ‘no’ and continue to chase your orgasm on his fingers. and just about when you are about to cream all over his fingers from how hard the rough pads of his fingers are rubbing your clit, he slips his fingers out of your aching pussy and stops rubbing your clit.

“mmmph!” you cry as loud as you can into the gag.

“s’a punishment bubba, can’t let ya cum.” he sighs and presses a few more kisses to your cheek. he doesn't exactly enjoy denying you in any way but he had to stick to being 'mean boyfriend' to teach you this lesson. finally, he takes the bandana out of your mouth, revealing a string of drool connecting the cloth to your lips.

“you ever talk to me like that again n’ i’ll stuff a dildo in your ass and give you a good hard spankin’ you understand me?” he whispers and grabs your face with his big hand squeezing lightly “answer me please baby…”

“i understand…” you croak out quietly, brows furrowing at the throb of your puffy cunt and the stretch of his dick still inside your tighter hole.

“gooood girl, so proud of you,” john b switches back to being a little nicer to you and brings that hand from your face to your waist, holding you gently. “wanna get up now? no- okay that’s fine, we can just stay here for a sec.” ᥫ᭡ᥫ᭡

[nickfurysrighteye]

college au!chase davenport x fem!reader

summary: you're a college student. you go on a date with adam, the campus' fuckboy, but you didn't know he had a brother...

cw: kinda nsfw!! swearing, mentions of sex/hooking up, heavy make out in a public place, you and chase get reaaally touchy, adam's an asshole (sorry adam). that's it :)

a/n: part 2 here!! this is not what i was going for when writing another chase x reader but i thought "fuck it, chase smut"

minors do not interract!!

"y/n guess what, this guy at the party yesterday told me he saw you on campus and wanted to ask you out so i told him we're roommates and he gave me his number." your roommate says, the morning after she went to a frat party.

"wait really? what's his name?" you reply with a mix of surprise and excitement in your voice.

"adam davenport"

"oh my god that fuckboy wanted my number?!" you say, kind of disappointed. frat guys weren't really your type and adam was definitely the complete opposite of what you want in a guy. he is known on campus for two things: his parties and being a total asshole to girls.

"i don't want anything to do with him, especially after my last relationship, i don't need a guy like that."

"you don't have to date him, what you need is a rebound to forget your ex. go out with him, hook up and then leave, that's what he does anyway." your friend's plan wasn't that bad, you take it into consideration.

"to be fair, adam is kinda hot and i do need a rebound..sure i'll text him, why not."

-

adam didn't live on campus, he had a small apartment downtown his father paid for so he didn't have to live in the dorms. after a bit of texting he asked you to come over to his place. you didn't expect much from this date, your idea was to follow your roommate's plan and you made sure to look your best in order to go through with it.

"hey, come on in." adam says opening the door for you. the apartment was small but tidy. you enter the apartment and make your way into the living room, which was an open space including the kitchen. sitting at the kichen island was a brunette guy with a black long sleeve tshirt, focused writing something on his laptop. he looks away from the screen the moment he hears your voice.

"hi, I'm y/n."

"oh, he's my brother, chase. we're roommates, don't pay attention to him."

"you're in college too, chase?" you ask.

"yeah i'm a physics major." he looks at you and slightly smile, a small dimple forming on his cheek.

"no way i'm a physics major too, how come i've never seen you at the lectures?"

"getting noticed by girls is not his strong suit. why don't we go to my room, we can watch a movie." adam says quickly, trying to get you away from his brother. it was clear he wasn't supposed to be there but adam couldn't do anything about it.

instead, you get closer to chase "what are you working on?"

"i'm writing a paper on the poly-exclusion principle. it's weird, usually the girls adam brings home don't do this much talking. they aren't physics major either. " he stops writing and leans a bit onto the table to get closer to you. he looks at you with that slight smile. his eyes were like watercolors, brown blue and green swirling together, framed by the fair mauve color of the skin underneath. he wasn't getting as much sleep as he should be.

you want to reply but his beauty his mesmerizing. his ruffled brown hair, his rosy lips, his hands, which had a dash of red on the knuckles from the cold weather. you just can't look away.

"ok that's enough small talk, let's go y/n" adam interrupts your brief conversation, taking you by the arm and slowly leading you to the corridor.

"if you're going to have sex please be quiet. i have a lot of work to do." chase says loudly as the two of you walk away.

how many girls does he bring home? do i really wanna be just a number? you think as you walk into adam's room. you start to reconsider your plan, you aren't so sure you want to hook up with him anymore.

-

adam's laptop is set on the bed, a movie playing in the background. you're making out but it's not leading anywhere, too many thoughts going through your head.

"so...you wanna hook up or..?" adam pulls away from the kiss.

"uhh..i-"

adam stops you mid sentence "it's ok if you don't, but if we're not gonna do it then imma ask you to leave."

"what?" his audacity baffles you.

"yeah imma be honest, that's the only reason i asked you out so if you're not cool with that there's no reason to keep this going. i actually have another girl i gotta call-"

"oh my fucking god you cannot be serious." you stand up, hastily gather your things and head to the door.

"what? i said i was gonna be honest." adam says suprised.

"listen i knew you were famous for one night stands but jesus fucking christ have some tact!" you open the front door and leave, swinging it close behind you.

"byee! have a good night!" chase shouts, sitting in the same spot with his eyes glued to the screen. "well that's a first! she was nice."

"fuck off chase."

-

the next day you decided to spend the afternoon studying at the campus' library. you arrive later than you usually do and hope to still find a good spot. after a some wondering around you see a familiar figure sitting at a table with a laptop open. the brown haired boy from the previous night sitting at the table alone, you walk over to him.

"hey, chase, right?" you remembered his name, matter of fact you thought about him a lot after leaving adam's apartment, there's something about him that just pulls you in you can't help it.

"hey, good to see you here." he smiles again, this time showing his pearly white teeth.

"mind if i sit here with you?"

"no, not at all."

"how's the paper turning out?" you pick the the seat right across him.

"It's driving me insane, i think i spent so much time writing it I'm starting to show signs of severe sleep deprivation. how about you? what are you studying?" he rubs his tired eyes and run his fingers through his already messy hair. that boy seriously needs to sleep.

"i'm just going over some course material. I've missed a couple lectures, not that the professor knows how to teach this stuff anyway." you say as you take out your books and laptop out of your bag.

"i can help you out if you want." he leans a bit to see what material you're going to revise.

"that would be great, actually. thank you so much."

a few hours go by and now the room you're in is basically empty, the only sound filling the deep silence is the quiet mormouring of you and Chase talking. the two of you are now sitting next to eachother, not really studying, you gave that up around half an hour ago.

"by the way i'm so sorry about adam, he can be a real asshole sometimes."

"don't worry about it. if i knew he had a brother i wouldn't have gone out with him." a light chuckle leaves your mouth as you finish your sentence, then you realize the words you just pronounced. you turn your eyes upon chase and see him with his head lightly tilted, a smirk on his face and his watercolored eyes gazing at you with a glimpse of amusement. he chuckles.

"i'm sorry, that was weird. forget i said that. what i meant was adam's not my type anyway." an even worse feeling washes over you, god why can't i just shut up your thoughts are interrupted suddenly by chase's low and soft voice.

"what's your type then?" so many words fill up your thoughts but none are coming out. you stare at his lips, his soft, plum, roseate lips that had a blood colored aura in the center. you want to know what it's like to kiss them, to bite them, to feel them all over you, to feel them brush against your neck as he whispers sweet words to you.

you don't say anything, your body leans closer to him and you slowly close your eyes, all of a sudden you feel your lips meeting with chase's for a quick moment. your eyes open again and your faces are inches apart. chase places carefully a hand on your cheek and gently places his lips back on yours. he moves with such care it seems if he kisses you any harder you're going to break. he kisses you so tenderly it sends chills down your spine. he's so gentle and warm, it's like cold was the only thing your body has ever known until he touched you and heated you up.

he brushes his tongue against your lower lip and haltingly pushing it into your mouth, making your tongue swirl together. you felt your body get even hotter, your heart starts to race, his tongue felt so good you didn't want the kiss to end. his hands start to wonder down your body, feeling every curve, caressing you, studying your shape with his fingertips. his hands go down until they reach your hips, then they slowly make their way back up. he stops right underneath your breasts. your body's craving more of his touch. you need to feel him. all of him. you move one of his hand up and he cups one of your breasts squeezing it, making you moan softly into the kiss. your sweet sounding moan makes his lungs clench and cheeks burn. as he starts to lightly circle around your nipple with his thumb your hands travel up his thighs and get closer to his groin. his pants are getting tighter.

just like that chase pulls away from the kiss and moves his hands away. "we're in public, i think we went a little too far."

you laugh, "yeah i- uh, i think so." you don't care, truth be told if it were for you, you'd be bent over the table with your pants pulled down and chase pumping his dick into you. you couldn't care less about someone accidentally seeing you, you need more of his touch. you've never craved anything more than this. you need him.

"It's getting late, we should go." chase starts to gather his things. "we- uh, we should study together again...sometimes."

"yeah, sure uh...here..take this." you rip a piece of paper from your notebook, write your number on it and hand it to him. "text me, or call me or whatever you want." you pack your things.

"sure i'll see you at the lecture, goodnight." chase leaves and as he walks out of the library he looks at the small piece of paper.

"adam's gonna kill me"

-

a/n: thanks for reading <33 PART 2

[adhdtsukasa]

tsukasa tenma has ADHD!! except it's an actual analysis because 1. look at my url 2. i'm mentally unwell (and i started to love tsukasa mostly because i immediately recognized my ADHD traits in him). which is a thing i should probably leave for ADHD awareness month, HOWEVER!! it was my birthday yesterday and i wanted to spoil myself (i just kinda overlooked how much time writing it from scratch would take me, so i'm a bit late with it). and i reaaally don't wanna wait until november when i finally wrote it down because i'm so HYPED because i was preparing for it like what? two years? somewhere around it. and that's a LONG time.

please keep in mind that i'm no psychologist, psychiatrist nor a neurologist and while i do use some sources (cannot really confirm if they are true, though... because i forgot to write credits down... so i'm really sorry for that), most of this analysis was just based off on my personal experiences with the disorder (and i don't really have the full professional knowledge of what i struggle with i'm just a Boy). i mean, i am analyzing a character from a hatsune miku game. i think i'm already putting way too many effort than i should.

also the examples of tsukasa's behavior here are not all of the things, because i wrote down only the things i remember off from the top of my head. sorry, guys. my hyperactive ass is not sitting thru all the stories again just to get my crumbs, unfortunately.

anyways, with this a little bit unprofessional and messy introduction, let's get it started!

1. THE MAIN PART OF THIS WHOLE THING, AKA HOW THE ADHD SYMPTOMS CORRESPOND TO TSUKASA'S BEHAVIOR

i wanted to write it down in my own words, but i think the screen above has summed it up perfectly; there are some established symptoms of ADHD, but to be an ADHDer you don't have to experience them all. and this is going to explain why i'm gonna show a lot of these symptoms later, yet gonna connect only some of them with tsukasa. it's only these i have evidence for, and yet i think they're good enough to point at tsukasa and already say woah! an ADHDer!!

in short, there are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive (ADD) and combined. the combined one is the most common iirc, so that's also what i'm going to focus on today. especially since for a rep of the other types, i could say that shizuku's a rather great representation of ADD — but that's not the point of my ted talk today, so i'm not going to go into the detail about it. i'm sure some momojan or shizuku oshi would do better than me in this field, so i'm leaving it to the experts.

these are the symptoms that i managed to gather — the first two screens being about the symptoms viewed in children, the last one being about the symptoms viewed in adults. "in which one of them tsukasa belongs to?" that's a good question, because i actually don't know. calling a high schooler a child doesn't sit quite right with me, yet a freshly turned 17/18-years-old is not exactly an adult, either (although most of the symptoms i'm analyzing come from these that are viewed in adults). and while i do think tsukasa has more of the symptoms viewed in adults, we're gonna analyse them all! because i'm putting my all into this.

FORGETFULNESS

i believe there's not much left to say, as this is the most obvious one and everyone already knows that. even though it's not touched that much anymore for some reason, tsukasa's forgetfulness is his very apparent trait. it varies in severity a lot of times: from him basically forgetting both his childhood and true feelings in the main story to him, for example, forgetting his own phone and lunch (in the same day!!) in hinamatsuri. even saki in the same event, while they were arguing, called him a "big, dumb forgetter" and assumed that he forgot what happened the day he brought her the hinamatsuri dolls to hospital. while forgetting basically half of your life is not exactly normal and can be a sign of something bigger, like dissociative amnesia, his forgetting of just the ordinary things and it happening a lot definitely still fits this trait.

EXCESSIVE TALKING/PHYSICAL MOVEMENT

while this is something that you'd rather connect to emu (and for a good reason), it's not like tsukasa is completely devoid of it either; he talks a lot. he moves a lot. it's not on emu's level of hyperactivity, but it's also not "a lot" that's taken as a social norm, based on how the people around him react. he's putting the 1 in oddball 1 2, after all.

in holy night or some side stories connected to it (it might be meiko's side story? but i'm not exactly sure) it was also said that tsukasa moves in his sleep a lot to this point that his parents have to leave his christmas presents under his door instead of next to his bed.

oh, and he also talks to himself a lot. even in class, which was confirmed in chapter 6 of dazzling (or maybe even earlier, it's just the one moment that i remember). (but i'll get to this moment later on)

he says his long monologues, he strikes his poses at every occasion — and while i don't think that's the first thing you think of when you have "excessive talking/movement" in mind, for me it sure does count as it.

LITTLE OR NO SENSE OF DANGER

this point can seem rather weird, because "isn't tsukasa always riddiculed at rui's weird inventions"? well, yeah, he is, that is not a thing to deny. but he also agrees to try out most of them, if not all, if it's for the sake of the show. he's aware of what can happen, but he also doesn't back away if it means that he'll be one step closer to achieving his dream of stardom.

does it count as "little sense of danger"? well, i'm actually not sure, for me it doesn't, but maybe for someone it does. i'd say that's a rather weak point, but i wanted to include the explanation for the counterpoint of it — that's why i even mentioned it in the first place. i don't have a lot to say about this tbh.

update: oh, actually no, wait, i just remembered. remember how tsukasa in phoenix decided to not eat anything for three days just to be able to resonate with rio, while also having to do straining exercise on top of that? you certainly cannot say that's a safe thing to do, but he still went along with that in order to get the role. it makes me come to a conclusion that tsukasa actually has a sense of danger, but sometimes chooses to willingly ignore it if only it makes him get closer to fulfilling his dream. i think it's coming close enough to the little/no sense of danger to be actually considered an ADHD trait.

DIFFICULTY KEEPING QUIET

while i'm not sure if what i'm going to talk about is a difficulty keeping quiet in a traditional sense of way, it definitely counts as it, somehow: tsukasa is loud. like, really loud. and that's another obvious fact both for us and for characters in-universe, especially when thinking of tsukasa shiho's first thought is that he's kinda noisy, which can be seen in the "a friend's brother" 1koma. (and probably a lot of other cases. free shiho.)

tsukasa doesn't seem to realize that he's way louder than he should be and that him being loud is his first impression in most of the cases, though, or at least i don't remember any moment where it happens (and it's a possibility. then that's on me, i guess.). and yeah, i know what's the reason for it, obviously — he's supposed to be a comic relief character. because wansho's stories are mostly supposed to make you smile, as this is what wansho's aspiration is. however, as much as being intended to make the viewer laugh it wouldn't be, it still is a part of tsukasa's character, and a rather important one on top of that. his constant loudness is something that's definitely not considered normal by the society and could very well fit into this symptom.

and since i promised to elaborate on the mentioned before scene from dazzling chapter 6: when tsukasa talks to himself in class, it always ends up to be loud. and it already happened a few times.

(tl by tsukasa's #3 fan on youtube because i don't have proseka on my phone wah)

if it's not a difficulty keeping quiet, then i don't know what is. bro can scream up to 120dB as measured by robonene for god's sake.

IRRITABILITY/QUICK TEMPER

again, this is something that was more apparent with early game tsukasa, maybe he just got medicated. idk man. but even if it happened three, almost four years ago, it still happened, i don't make the rules. back in the early game, tsukasa was really easily losing his temper and getting annoyed, mad even — i mean, that was the whole point of the main story argument: tsukasa's first response to nene accidentally messing up their show, which was not even her fault, was to shout at her. and while this was obviously very important thing to him and being upset at this is a rather understandable reaction, taking this as far as screaming at a poor girl for not being to face the audience because of her anxiety is not something a person who can control their anger would do.

it could be also easily seen by his reaction to emu and rui's antics back in the early game, which were often stained with irritation.

another example is his hinamatsuri argument with saki, where, despite loving her so much, he still got slightly mad at her for not liking the new dolls he bought her. he started to regret his harsh words and actions soon enough, obviously, but it doesn't change the fact that it was rather easy for him to get him across.

INABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS

if i'm not mistaken, tsukasa has once said something along the lines of "is it anxiety? there's no way a star like me would feel anxiety" — but i cannot recall for the love of my life in which story it appeared, so i don't want to take it as a face value when i don't have a solid proof for it.

other than this vague mention of "something that's in the story but i don't remember where", i'll admit, i don't really have anything backing me up for this tbf. i mean, i guess maybe tsukasa doing his best to appear strong as a child to not worry his parents could work? because the stress of saki being in the hospital definitely was also present here, although i just see this more as a coping mechanism for his situation than a reaction to stress, so that's not a solid evidence either.

so, yeah. take this one with a grain of salt, actually.

from the symptoms that weren't listed here, i remember reading something about people with ADHD enjoying to show off more, which is certainly what tsukasa does often — and while it actually applies to me too, it wasn't on an english site so i didn't screenshot it and i cannot really find it anywhere in english... so even though i treat it just like my whole argument for the inability to deal with stress, i thought it's just worth mentioning.

however, there is obviously one more thing...

HYPERFIXATION/SPECIAL INTEREST

obviously, i'm talking about acting here: for tsukasa, acting aligns with all these criterias. it is his deep passion; it is something highly engaging for him; it is sometimes all-consuming for him; he tunes out the world around him when he thinks about how can he possibly improve his acting (see: the dazzling moment i showed earlier. yeah, i like to use it as a backing point a lot, as you can see.); and it is something that is his life-long interest.

is it his special interest or his hyperfixation, though? well, it's hard to tell...? because while according to screen two, spinterest revolves around a topic and hyperfixation revolves around an activity, so it would qualify what tsukasa feels towards acting as a hyperfixation, it's still kinda hard for me to call it so because of its length. yes, screen three clearly says that hyperfixation can last years, but they mostly revolve around shorter periods of time, after all (my longest hyperfixation was just a year long, for example). i think it's up to you to determine whether you'd call tsukasa's love for acting a hyperfixation or a special interest, but it's something from these two most certainly.

i'm also a big fan of the headcanon that tsukasa's other spinterest is kaito ww it's in no way a canon evidence (unfortunately!), but kaito's 1* side story, where tsukasa and emu are watching kaito's show and tsukasa is explaining to her why kaito's wearing a scarf somewhat implies that tsukasa knew a thing or two about kaito before the main story. and i'm all for it. colopale let tsukasa be a kaito fanboy pleaseee.

2. I REALLY LIKE ANALYZING SONGS, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

those who have already read a few of my things probably know what i love to do the most — analyzing songs!! so i wouldn't be myself if i just left tsukasa's commisions without analyzing them under the angle of neurodivergence, especially since the sole reason i became obsessed with the thought of ADHD tsukasa was that one sekahaji line (there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse you will always be famous).

of course, remember that only the world hasn't even started yet should be taken as a canon value! producers are often given space to do whatever they want in the lyrics of the songs they are commissioned for, so they're not canonical in any way. i think it's still fun to look at their lyrics and ramble about them for a bit, though. i've already got too carried away anyways.

won't be posting photos of the lyrics since i'd hit the images limit, but you can check them yourself — all the translations i'm taking, as always, from the vocaloid lyrics wiki. (since filament fever has two tls on there, i want to clarify that i've only looked at and considered in my analysis the official english one, because it's, well, official.)

THE WORLD HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET

besides the mentioned earlier there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse, which i think of as a representation of overstimulation (since i used to see people asking "oh but why tsukasa has something about there being too much noise in a song made out of his feelings when he's such a loud person himself". because he likes the noise he makes, not the overwhelming, overstimulating noise from the outside!!), sekahaji also has a rather good amount of quotes that could be read as something connected to neurodivergence (based on the fact that it's not supposed to be a song about this topic): the main theme of these are procrastination, which can be seen in let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever and the world hasn't even started yet line itself. the thought of the world not even starting implies that there's still a lot of time left to do something, while "partying forever" can refer to deciding to give up on doing the things you should do and going to drown in something that indulges only you and yourself for the rest of eternity. while procrastination is not counted as an official ADHD symptom, it's a trait that people with the disorder very often have (for reasons obvious).

other lines, which i couldn't entirely fit into a box of a certain symptom, are there's too much conflict, so much conflict and it keeps growing (a parallel line to the noise one, so it means something! right) and let's break the plans for a harmonious future. in my personal interpretation, they both can be viewed as your typical neurodivergent struggle in a neurotypical society — "too much conflict" refering to an internal struggle of not being completely normal, while the "harmonious future" that's going to get broken are just the social norms that are going to be broken because of an off-putting, neurodivergent behavior. something that some neurotypical people dooon't really like.

TONDEMO-WONDERZ

since i've just talked about breaking the social norms, "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you, huh? line from tondemo-wonderz is going to go first, because it revolves around the same topic. it's the same case: it's about (subconscious, not intentional) fighting what's accepted by the society by just being yourself — because you're neurodivergent, you're different.

from the other lines in tondemo-wonderz, i have only one and it's take an eraser to your memories?!, which is pretty much self explanatory. as always, a mention of forgetting something in tsukasa's commision. who would've thought.

88 SHOOTING STARS

another self explanatory line that i have written down as first: it's okay if you only remember a little part of it sometimes. another mention of tsukasa forgor™, and while it corresponds with what happened in dazzling, it's still a line mentioning forgetfulness — so it's worth mentioning.

aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? and it's okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes can be interpreted as another mention of procrastination and while it's not that apparent as it was with sekahaji, because going in circles can refer to something else and taking a rest sometimes is not a bad thing at all, i still wanted to mention them here. for the record.

you ought to slip and fall in panic in the final moment is connected to a symptom that i showed, yet didn't elaborate on it (because i didn't have anything to work with) — making careless mistakes. the same case, yet with another symptom goes with is this not enough yet again? is this not how it's supposed to be? couldn't we go even further than this?, which can be seen as a reflection of unability to listen to instructions. a bit of reaching with this one (like this whole part damn), but as i said earlier: for the record, i'm leaving it here. to show that i had some intense thoughts.

tbf, when i think about it now, maybe the mentioned earlier "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you [...] could very well fit this symptom too.

MR SHOWTIME

mr showtime you will always be famous, because this is a song that gave me a looot of things to work with. i was so flabbergasted when i read these lyrics for the first time. tsukasa tenma why are you like this. /aff

there are a lot of lines hinting being easily distracted, and these are basically the very first ones, too: you know what? i just can't make up my mind, it's so messed up that i can't put my thoughts together and a merry-go-round (my thought process) goes round and round are all about it. like you cannot deny it this time, if it's not about being unable to stay focused then i really don't know what is [insert the tsukasa don't look away stamp here because i love it and it's my biggest motivation to actually focus whenever i do something]. the more i mess around and waste time, the more i become hungry / and i can't handle it can be seen as about procrastination again, and even not "can be seen", it's literally being frustrated at yourself for wasting time, that's the sole outcome of a procrastination!! being bothered by feeling anxious, meanwhile, is resonating with the inability to deal with stress once again.

also jumping the gun. driving in a zigzag manner can actually connected with the little to no sense of danger. because, as far as i'm aware, driving in a zigzag manner is certainly not a safe activity. don't do it at home.

from the symptoms that i haven't yet mentioned to this point, am i taking a long way? am i making a fruitless effort? can be reflecting difficulty organizing tasks — since the poor planning of your activities can make you take a long way and can make you do a fruitless effort. then, where's the fun in taking shortcuts all the time? can be read along the lines of something coming close to extreme impatience and while a person that's extremely impatient would actually enjoy taking the shortcuts to get closer to their goal or destination, said impatience can be also connected with the desire for something interesting to happen. a task can make you impatient not because it's long, but because it's simply boring — avoiding shortcuts can make it less boring, even if it extends its duration. with this explanation, it makes the unexpectedness (unexpected program) is the best part of the show (my life) perfectly fit into this category, even though i wouldn't call this line a sign of impatience on its own.

i have some issues with i'm pathetic. i can't satisfy myself, because... at first i thought of connecting it with either mood swings or inability to deal with stress, however i'm not sure if that's really it. i'm pretty sure it connects to neurodivergence in some way, but i just can't put my finger on it, so... i'm just leaving it here for the record, once again.

oh, and there's also i got lost in the world (stage) and / the end credits rolled (the curtain fell), which also is pretty much summing up the experience of being neurodivergent in the neurotypical society. in the middle of trying to stay true to yourself and having to mask just to be accepted, it's easy to get lost — and once you do so, there's no going back. the curtain falls.

to end this part of the analysis, i'd show the lyrics from filament fever and sekai wo terasu tetrad here. i won't do this, however, and the reason for it is fairly simple — they don't give me much material to work with and i'm not really surprised, because mr showtime has succesfully sucked all of the neurodivergent coded lyrics into itself. there just won't be another song like mr showtime, i fear.

i can just say that in filament fever there is running away from the flow of time — which got me thinking of either procrastination and unability to stick to time-consuming tasks, with the former being more plausible as a potential interpretation... but that would be it.

3. NAKAYAMA IS A METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENT MASKING AND IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS

listen, i know how it sounds.

i'm not actually a fan of trying to fit every thing a character does into a box of a metaphor, symbol or allegory, i really am not. i think some things should just stay as simple as they are, but this thought has been bothering me ever since i've first seen spoilers of what's happening in a story where you're the star for the very first time. i'm in no way saying it has any canonical meaning, but i just thought it would be fun to include. because maaaybe someone sees my vision.

for those who haven't seen tsukasa4 yet or want to have a recap of what has happened in it: the whole event story revolves around tsukasa trying to grasp his role (as always). wxs got recommended to shunmei-za by shousuke and went there to practice their acting skills, immediately getting thrown onto the preparation for their next performance. tsukasa, however, is not a lead this time — he got the role of a supporting character and has got basically three lines to say on stage total. since tsukasa's used to playing lead roles, he obviously has issues with grasping the role — it's hard to use method acting in regards of a character that says three sentences total and nothing more. with help of bakuno reki, one of the actors in shunmei-za, and the rest of wxs, he manages to create a portrayal of nakayama that would make him "come to life" and "be a protagonist of his own story", something that would make it easier for him to get into role, however...

he gets a little bit too carried away with his acting during the actual performance.

and this is not something that would ruin the whole play, obviously, he's just a supporting character, the less invested audience would probably forgot about his impact on the story after five minutes of his last appearance — but he still made a slip-up. he still resonated with his role, but didn't achieve the utmost perfection. he still did well acting, after all, he managed to receive praise from the director in the end... but it's still a very apparent mistake that was made.

(tl, once again, by the awesome tsukasa's #3 fan)

and that's where the nakayama masking metaphor theory (it's not even a theory but it sounds cooler this way) comes in.

nakayama is supposed to be just a man. from what we know about him, he's in his late twenties and works as an editor — and even though tsukasa makes up a whole backstory for him later on, he's still supposed to be ordinary. nothing special. he's coming nowhere near the other roles that tsukasa has played, he's not on the same level as miles, torpe and rio. and while you could possibly consider torpe and rio as rather ordinary, they still had something interesting to happen to them, the main reason why they were lead roles for their respective plays. in the tsukasa4 play, nakayama has nothing like that. he's literally just a guy, he's normal. and "normal" is a keyword here.

tsukasa did everything he could to fit into nakayama's role. he followed the script, he took the advice from a more talented and professional actor that is bakuno, he didn't do any mistakes during his preparations — and yet he still managed to mess up in the end. why?, besides of the fact that he just let himself become one with nakayama during the performance and it resulted in a supporting character outshining the lead?

if we take as a fact that tsukasa is, in fact, neurodivergent, it would make sense that he's having troubles with playing a normal person — because he's not exactly normal either. and this would very well work out as a metaphor of masking; even when you try your best, even when you mask yourself perfectly, you can still make slip-ups. you can still accidentally drop the act in middle of something that absolutely required it, or, similiar to what tsukasa did, can accidentally overdo it and end up perceived as even more weird than you'd be without masking. something something i got lost in the world and the end credits rolled. rings a bell?

and i'm not saying that tsukasa has a problem with masking, because he doesn't. he tries his best to pass as a normal member of society, but he also makes no effort in actively masking his weirdness (or else he wouldn't be a part of oddball one two). however, if you want to neurodivergent code your character, it would make sense to include a possibility of it in some way, right? especially since wxs stories' already had the theme of dealing with being perceived as weird (eg. rui's whole backstory, obviously). even if it's not affecting tsukasa directly, i think it would be cool to include something that indicates this issue's existence in his story and, in a way, his struggles.

however, as i said earlier, this is a very stupid thought and that's why i left it for the very end. i don't actually think that how tsukasa played nakayama was supposed to be a metaphor for masking, it's just a pure coincidence that it could be interpreted like that when you think about it too much.

aaand with this, we've finally come to an end!! (finally. i'm so exhausted.) i don't have anything more to say about this topic. maybe i'll retweet it with some more evidence in the future if we ever get more ADHDkasa content. for now, it would be all!

is tsukasa actually intentionally written as an ADHDer? Who Knows! there's a possibility that he is, but even if he's not, he's still one in my heart. regardless of the status of his possible neurodivergence, analyzing his behavior in this light was still very fun! and maybe i even converted someone into the ADHDkasa hell.

feel free to add something if you want to, and feel free to correct me if i got some things wrong! i still hope that even though of how messy this whole thing is written, i did tsukasa justice and didn't accidentally say too much nonsense lmao

...i hate ending analyses.

[esprei]

Can we know more about that dystopia Emmet of yours?

dystopian!Emmet... my sad little meow meow... my favorite AU Emmet. my pride and joy. he's certainly the most tragic emmet of mine... why? well. his life was torn apart in childhood thanks to Emperor Volo (as a reminder or for those unfamiliar, Emperor Volo is a version of PLA Volo that won at the Temple of Sinnoh and was able to carry out his plan of remaking the world as he saw fit. and subsequently went mad with power. hence where we end up in this AU, where he's built a wonderful, beautiful city in Upper Unova... while Lower Unova is left to the dogs... Houndours...? Herdiers...? either way, Lower Unova suffers while Upper Unova prospers).

his family killed by the Emperor's army, he was left in the home all alone, hiding and terrified but luckily undetected until the leader of the Resistance, Alder, takes him under his wing and essentially becomes his adoptive father. under Alder's leadership, Emmet learns how to fight, how to survive. he becomes hardened by such a rough and tragic turn in his life that by the time he grows up, he's become serious, stern and scrappy. wary and skeptical. while he still IS Emmet, while he still has a smile, it's a more... serious smile. a tighter smile. definitely not as happy of a smile. aside from that, he has his own workshop where he'll make weapons for the Resistance (aka the banded together group of folks seeking to take Emperor Volo down for his tyranny, they battle with the Emperor's army quite a bit), or repair parts for the trains that he works on that help transport supplies that other members have snatched from the upper city or just transport in general. he's also a fan of woodworking! does that often, too :D when he's really upset he'll lock himself away in his workshop and work, work, work away, sometimes just welding or carving away aimlessly (though not reaaally aimless because he ends up making something in the end). bonus little thing of him working in said workshop (btw that's probably Skyla calling his name, she drops off supplies for him that he needs):

that's quite a bit to read so I'll stop there :D i just wanna say thank you so so much for your interest in him! this emmet really is dear to my heart and i love talking about him (and sorry this answer is so late!)