#but i makes me very uncomfy how they watch my blog 🤣
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bruh
#do i even know? probably not#god its taking so long to get healthy#also i just... cant fucking feel comfortable ranting in the tags on here because of a particular follower that makes me uncomfortable 🤣#cant unfollow them i know them in real life#but i makes me very uncomfy how they watch my blog 🤣#like i wanted to get in here and rant about the struggles me and bae are having (not with each other lmao)#and like my illnesses that are fucking keeping me foggy and sick#but im thinking about one person. who i never see and dont have to at all if i dont want to#and i have quite a few other followers from real life! and i am happy to see every single note!#but this particular person. is such a miserable experience for me#i refuse to be mean to them. it wouldnt be worth the psychic damage#but fuck they make me sad#they talk over everyone and are such a fucking know it all#like an old friend can try to ask me about the city that I currently live in? and have?? for nearly 6 years now?? and THEY answer over me??#like bruh#also i have personal issues with being disrespected or ignored when im speaking; namely due to that being the default of my existence#until around 22#i think about deleting my blog or renaming it but#i like nexttothelamp and i like this blog#idk maybe by the time im 30 ill have the guts to block them 😅#but yunno what? this felt better#yunno my therapist has told me this over and over and over#but lmao i guess it still bears repeating#externalise that internal struggle. even if the thoughts are small and petty and dont feel like thwyre worth your time#write it down#then read it. or burn it. rip it up or eat it it doesnt matter 🤣#damn this DID make me feel better#get that petty bs out of my body and let it dissipate into nothing~#lmao i wanna bitch more and get more specific but even they arent that clueless#id say delete later but i wont
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