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#but i makes me very uncomfy how they watch my blog 🤣
nexttothelamp
·
2 years
Text
bruh
#do i even know? probably not
#god its taking so long to get healthy
#also i just... cant fucking feel comfortable ranting in the tags on here because of a particular follower that makes me uncomfortable 🤣
#cant unfollow them i know them in real life
#but i makes me very uncomfy how they watch my blog 🤣
#like i wanted to get in here and rant about the struggles me and bae are having (not with each other lmao)
#and like my illnesses that are fucking keeping me foggy and sick
#but im thinking about one person. who i never see and dont have to at all if i dont want to
#and i have quite a few other followers from real life! and i am happy to see every single note!
#but this particular person. is such a miserable experience for me
#i refuse to be mean to them. it wouldnt be worth the psychic damage
#but fuck they make me sad
#they talk over everyone and are such a fucking know it all
#like an old friend can try to ask me about the city that I currently live in? and have?? for nearly 6 years now?? and THEY answer over me??
#like bruh
#also i have personal issues with being disrespected or ignored when im speaking; namely due to that being the default of my existence
#until around 22
#i think about deleting my blog or renaming it but
#i like nexttothelamp and i like this blog
#idk maybe by the time im 30 ill have the guts to block them 😅
#but yunno what? this felt better
#yunno my therapist has told me this over and over and over
#but lmao i guess it still bears repeating
#externalise that internal struggle. even if the thoughts are small and petty and dont feel like thwyre worth your time
#write it down
#then read it. or burn it. rip it up or eat it it doesnt matter 🤣
#damn this DID make me feel better
#get that petty bs out of my body and let it dissipate into nothing~
#lmao i wanna bitch more and get more specific but even they arent that clueless
#id say delete later but i wont
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