#but i made sure to specify they don't quite fit the definition and i just wanna share them 😤😤😤 I'm not THAT hypocritical. mostly
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silly thing to get frustrated over but another internet pet peeve of mine is how ppl use the term analog horror for any internet horror project or any internet project with an 80s-90s tech style aesthetic. [guys. guys. please. i am on my knees here. mystery flesh pit is not analog horror. it's not even in video or audio form (tho it does have some audio iirc?? but it's def not the core of it). please]
i think this phenomenon stems from how most fans of the series that blew up are too young to have grown up with analog technology and thus don't really get what it even means (and I'm not mad at them or anything. they're mostly teens just having fun, who am i to tell them off). not to mention the certain tropes that started getting associated with that medium, like the photoshop liquify tool faces or creepy smiles, that are very much not a necessity for the genre nor confined to its medium, yet are still expected of it or get grouped together with analog horror despite being used in whole other forms of media
please. just say unfiction. put that word in your lexicon. also not every project with slightly creepy vibes is horror, which imo can end up feeling a bit disrespectful to creators who just share smth they intended to be comedic or for the sake of art itself (monument mythos you deserve so much better than this). like words and classifying media don't matter that much but they do help sometimes. also I'm just nitpicky and this post is merely me venting out frustration over smth that doesn't matter much so please absolutely do not take it to heart
#sees someone saying they're working on an analog horror project. goes to their page. it's all drawings and text based#checks their bio. they're 15 y/o. i move on#also I'm aware i recommended stuff that aren't analog horror in my reference file myself#but i made sure to specify they don't quite fit the definition and i just wanna share them 😤😤😤 I'm not THAT hypocritical. mostly#anyway. yet another dan rant. and i didn't get caught by a siren this time at least!
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Okay, this REALLY fits into the rare pair, I envisioned some weird shit but this one really surprised me xD
I don't back down, though, I love a challenge. I wasn't sure how to aproach this but i think it ended up pretty fluffy. hope you like it!
PS. Please remember to specify what type of fic (fluff, smut, angst, etc) you wanna in any request u make me, I always get confused with this!
Xx, Blue.
"LOVELY CHAOTIC" - TECH/JAR JAR BINKS 💖
WARNINGS: none, pure fluff.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Tech studies the mission report with rapt attention. It's not one of the batch's; but of the last trip of General Skywalker with Torrent Company, a small selected group of the 501st. It's a habit he has developed over the years; simultaneously checking as many as the GAR's missions as possible in order to extract valious information for future endevours. There's much to be learnt from past mistakes and errors; or conclusions –patterns– to abstract from triumphs. Usually, he doesn't delve in them too much –it would delay him in other equally important tasks–; but this one has individually stand out to him.
There has been a civilian involved, which is an anomally by itself. His name, upon further investigation, is Jar Jar Binks; a gungan made part of Naboo's representatives for the Senate, aiding Padme Amidala.
Tech had not heard much of gungan's before. He delves into a long research; his overactive mind quickly devouring articles upon articles and as many encyclopedias as he can find. He learns that there are two subspecies of gungans; Jar Jar Binks being an otolla, presenting with a lankier appearance and pronounced haillus as opposed to the more robust complexion of the ankura. It takes another hour for him to study their underwater cities; and by the time his brothers have fallen asleep, Tech is already an expert in the gungan tongue and their culture and traditions.
He navigates through the GAR's archives with ease and is surprised to find out just how many years has this Jar Jar Binks aided the Republic. The gungan had even fought along a padawan Obi-wan Kenobi and his master at the time, Qui-Gon Jhin; he had been there when the two Jedis had found General Skywalker on the warm sands of Tatooine. Tech takes the time to learn all of his story; and his intrigue only grows with every detail he finds.
Tech is a naturally curious person. He finds almost everything interesting; a trait often mocked by others in his early years. It's what makes him a good soldier, though, so he's not in any sense ashamed; there's nothing wrong in being appropiately informed. If any, it's others who should feel embarassed upon their blatant ignorance.
The clone is aware of how his honesty can often be confused with narcisism.
Tech plugs his headphones in and watches the few videos he can find about his most recent discovery; a small chuckle escaping here and there upon the gungan's antics. He's definitely a curious creature as well –though perhaps in not the same use of the word–.
Time passes by –more and more reports been discovered in the clone's short free time in between the Batch's own missions–. Without even noticing it, Tech grows fond of the excentric gungan.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
He has always been a very straightforward person; so when he sees Jar Jar Binks in person on his way to the Marauder for their next mission, Tech doesn't think it twice. He aproaches him so directly that the gungan almost jumps in surprise.
"You must be Jar Jar Binks".
It's just a statement; but he guesses that's a good opening as any other. He's a stranger; this first encounter is going to be weird no matter his choice of words. He's not too worried about it.
The gungan blinks back at him, still a bit thrown back at the clone's sudden arrival.
Tech notices the humanoid is quite taller than him, which is an unusual situation to experience; he is used to feel tall surrounded by clones –just a few inches– shorter than him.
"Misa surprised you know me! Who are you?"
Tech controls the involuntary smile that threatens to spread through his lips upon hearing the entonations of his peculiar voice. At first, the clone had thought Jar Jar's way of speaking was just a consequence of the gungan's tongue; but after listening to several audios of other's talking he had concluded the very drastic highs and downs of Jar Jar's entonation were simply his. It was just his way of speaking; pushing surprise, excitement, and life into the words.
"I'm CT-9902, Tech. I'm a member of Clone Force 99, a squad made of defective clones with desirable mutations".
The gungan tilts his head with his words; his long haillus flapping gently with the movement. He looks just as –if not even more– confused as a second ago.
"You look normal human to me!" He studies him. "No like regular clone, no... What makes tusa special? Misa very, very curious!"
Tech gives him a quick sum up of the Batch's abilities; though this just seems to bring more and more questions from the gungan. It's sort of endearing, really, to find someone that seems to be just as curious as himself; the need for knowledge bubbling over Jar Jar's tongue in lively expresions. Tech has the oportunity to saciate his own questions about gungans, about him; and the conversation is only brought to an end when Hunter enters the hangar and shoots them a confused glance before gesturing for Tech to get moving with a jerk of his chin.
Reluctantly, Tech leaves Jar Jar behind and follows his brother to the Marauder. He is somewhat comforted thinking he and the gungan could be considered acquaitances now.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Weeks of similar interactions later, Tech gives Jar Jar a gift. Jar Jar holds the object within his hands, stunned; eyes comically large. It's a leather vambrace. It could mean nothing for other species, just an ordinary gift, but to gungans this is... Gifting a piece of protection is seen as a declaration of interest. But surely...
"This is a very special gift!" He half shouts, half whispers, eyes flickering between the object in his hands and the human. "Tech is a very smart clone. Tusa knows what this means?"
Tech's answer is a quiet –daresay, timid– nod.
Jar Jar makes another surprised sound with his throat.
"Misa can't believe it!" He frantically gestures around. "Misa clumsy, always find misa in silly, silly mistakes! Tusa smartest person in the world. Why tusa like Jar Jar Binks?"
A rush of confidence gives Tech courage to soldier through his next words.
"From a very and almost obsessively organised person, I find your personality lovely chaotic".
Jar Jar seems to brighten up, reading the honesty in the clone's eyes; his laugh freely echoing in the emptiness of the hangar.
He grins at Tech, and the soldier feels a metaphorical blanket of warmth gently falling around him.
"Misa didn't see this coming, but misa is very, very happy!"
Jar Jar is suddenly hugging him; and Tech is inmediately reminded of just how tall gungans really are. There's still many things to find out; and he'll let them come to life patiently and naturally.
THE END.
#jar jar binks#tech fluff#tbb tech#tech#jar jar x tech#rare pairing#rarepair#fluff#love declaration#star wars#clones#fanfic#tbb#clone wars#fics#gungan#naboo#clone trooper tech#tech tbb#sw tbb#star wars tbb#tbb fanfic#tbb fanfiction#tbb fluff#rare ship#different species#clone force 99#request#i tried
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OH I FORGOT TO TLAK ABOUT THE PERSONALITY DISORDER THING they gave me a final diagnosis of Other Specialized Personality Disorder.
What OSDD does for DID in being a "wastebasket" for people who don't hit the mark for DID but are still obviously dissociative, is what OSPD does for people who definitely have a personality disorder but can't quite be squeezed into a specific one for some reason.
The box I'm closest to is BPD but I still don't fit that enough for it to work because of some missing criteria, and If you made a map of personality disorders you'd see I still have symptoms kind of scattered all over the place, it's just most of them are CLOSE to BPD or in the box. So they couldn't classify me with anything else. Just... "Some Personality Disorder" but at least it's a diagnosis right? But yeah turns out that there won't be a follow up diagnosis of anything more specific, I'm staying here.
Also from what I can tell, the acronym OSPD not only has other things mapped to it, but also OTHER DISORDERS, including paraphilic disorders I think? So I can't even use the acronym unless I've specified already what it stands for. I'm going to have to specify every time which is a bit of a fuckin pain ngl.
Like the formula for other specified is O (other) S (specified) __ (first letter of disorder type) D (disorder), so anything that starts with a P could be OSPD unless they used more than one letter in that slot. And no one talks about Other Specified Personality Disorder so no one's heard of it either. I'm going to have to just say the whole really long name every time, and if they Google it via the acronym then they'll find multiple different things
I'm not unhappy with the diagnosis at all, I'm very glad I have it and sure it will help, I'm just annoyed that any time I talk about it I'm going to have to go "Other Specified Personality Disorder" with my clumsy ass hands and terrible at spelling brain and constantly misreading and mistyping and fucking up sentence or word order eyes/brain
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have we heard about the Veil before? i feel like ive heard in mentioned on lore before
Not in any official capacity. It's been a speculative fan-thing for ages due to this concept art:
This was concept art revealed in 2013 (!). The final picture features triangles and whatever that thing is with the triangles which people have been speculating about for years about being a "Darkness race." The sort of a smoky thing. This concept most likely turned into Taken.
I'm not sure when the name "the Veil" for a supposed "Darkness race" came along and why, but it became super popular to speculate about it and call it "the Veil" around Shadowkeep because of the veiled statue and the lore book being called "Unveiling."
Since then, people have been quite obsessed with the idea that we will get a new enemy type and that it will be "Darkness people" and that they're the enemies that drive the Pyramid ships. Which now really doesn't make any sense because there is no single "Darkness race" really. The Witness' origins notwithstanding right now, since we know nothing about it. This bit of concept art (reddit thread) that was uploaded and then removed also popped up a lot in theories. Link directly to the reuploaded images on imgur. This was fairly peculiar, but honestly now? I think these were concepts for what would eventually become Tormentors. They literally have no heads which is also the most prominent unnerving feature of the Tormentor.
The Pyramids are not populated by any specific species, as we now know that they are ships operated by disciples, each of whom is of a different species. If the Darkness has its own specific people, it's keeping them safe and sound somewhere and they don't seem likely to show up as enemies. It also doesn't fit the Darkness philosophy.
Or rather, it doesn't fit the game's philosophy. I highly doubt that there is an entire species that is born to be followers of Darkness. To become a follower is a choice. Unless we're talking about stuff like the Taken or disciples having a "uniform" where different species become one with the Darkness and start looking similar, but we wouldn't call them by a separate name again as that would just be another form of Taken. With the fan-speculations on a "Darkness race," they specifically always talked about how that needs to be a completely brand new thing and not just reskinned (Taken) or corrupted existing enemy (Scorn).
There also used to be some fake leaks fueling these theories by claiming that "the Veil Darkness race" is coming to Beyond Light. There was a really elaborate "leak" about how Beyong Light will be about us fighting the Veil on Europa. That definitely made people super invested in the idea that "the Veil" is the official name for Pyramid people. And that there ARE Pyramid people in the first place. Which doesn't seem to be the case.
All in all, outside of veiled statues (unclear what they represent) and the lore book being called "Unveiling," there hasn't been anything lore-wise on a "veil" in the game (unless we count items like Apotheosis Veil). This is the first time capitalised "the Veil" has been mentioned and remotely explained and it's specified to be an object connected to the Traveler. A huge departure from any fan speculations over the years. Of course, we could still be surprised with some new reveal about the Veil come Lightfall, given that we literally have zero information outside of what Rasputin told us today.
What to take from this? Don't latch onto concept art, especially not concept art from before the game released.
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I know you're busy with Leverage at the moment, but when you get the time I would LOVE to hear what your thoughts are on the current season of Doctor Who!!
So with Doctor Who, it's something that I've been watching with my parents since it was rebooted in 2005. In part because they had the BBC America channel and in part because it was nice to have something to share with them in high school and through college and all the years since. Now I've got the Disney+ so I've been continuing the tradition and keeping to watching the episodes first with them.
This does put me two episodes behind right now, though I haven't really been avoiding spoilers. Spoilers have never really bothered me and it's hard to avoid them anyway.
I've been enjoying the season so far. I don't think Ruby's a stand out companion quite the way Rose, Martha, or Donna were for me, but she's been a really solid and enjoyable character and I think she fits really well with the Doctor. This Doctor has felt like the Doctor from the very start, which is a difficult landing to stick. (I'd say Eleven took the longest to feel like the Doctor to me, but every actor gets there eventually.)
I'm gonna stick the rest under the cut where I ramble about the episodes I've seen thus far.
Space Babies was really well done considering how many babies were involved and how long filming with the babies probably took. I really like the opening where Ruby stepped on the butterfly and became some kind of non-Silurian reptile. All those times the Doctor insisted that stepping on a butterfly couldn't change anything and why would you step on one anyway??? And... yeah, it's been the TARDIS protecting the timeline the whole time. Martha deserves to know this, I think.
I liked all the callbacks to earlier seasons - there was definitely similarities to Rose's first jaunt to the future. Return of the super phone. The Rani got name dropped and I'm fond of her as a villain. Amy would say Ruby got off easy with a little snot compared to space whale barf. *snicker*
Though the episode is about saving the babies and taking them somewhere they'll be wanted and raised, I feel like the episode is a pretty pointed take that at the anti-abortion crowd that is so concerned with making abortions illegal but don't do anything to ensure those babies are taken care of after they're born. A message I'm sure that whooshed right over my parents heads... :/
The bogeyman not being evil, just being made to sound that way was an interesting twist. And when the Doctor was explaining the sound thing I was all 'ooooh, I know this science fact' so they mixed some real science into their science fiction. ^_^
It's not a stand out episode, but it was a fun one. I missed Susan Twist in there but I'm fairly certain I'd catch her on rewatch. It does loose points for the Doctor thinking it's odd he was afraid of the boogeyman when he's been afraid before. Many times. I think that could have been handled better by having him specify that he hasn't been that afraid without there being a real reason before or... ya know... leaving that bit of attempted foreshadowing out entirely.
The Devil's Chord was more fun to me. They did a Beatles episode entirely without the Beatles music, color me impressed that it actually works.
The Maestro was interesting though I'm not thrilled that we have another explicitly nonbinary character who is... a villain. With the Meep there was Rose who was transfem nonbinary, so despite having a villainous queer... the Meep wasn't the only nonbinary character around. (Though wow did that episode flub the ending with the gender essentialism showing up to slap the Doctor in the face.) I appreciate that they're trying to bring in more nonbinary characters and trans actors onto the show, but we're not to the point where having the only nonbinary character on an episode be the villain isn't a little... questionable on the message it sends. Admittedly, the Doctor is self described as trans now (thank you 14) but he also currently identifies as a guy and is played by a guy so... it's hard to feel like the Doctor is truly trans rep right now even though he's basically retconned as such. I'll get there.
There were once again callbacks to previous seasons. How can the world be destroyed now when I'm proof it won't be? The Doctor showing his companion how a bad future has replaced the good one she came from. (Pretty sure that was even some foreshadowing of Sutekh there because while I haven't seen the OG series, I've poked around a lot of TARDIS wiki pages about Sarah Jane. And like I said, not avoiding spoilers so I know Sutekh is the Twist at the end, lol.)
Ruby's song was pretty and I really could never get tired of Maestro just climbing out of random pianos. The Doctor muting everything was a neat trick that I'd love to see again but we probably won't. And I like that the Doctor flubbed the chance he had to seal the Maestro back up. Sometimes the Doctor fails, it's always interesting to see how they come back from that.
But... I'm not sure the Beatles saving the day worked for me. It was well foreshadowed, so it wasn't a surprise. But I think that ultimately took something away from Ruby. I think this should have been her first companion saves the day moment, completing the chord while the Maestro was distracted taunting the Doctor with his failure.
Ultimately, another good episode but I'm not sure it's a true stand out one of the greats episode.
Boom was really good. You know you have an excellent actor playing the Doctor when he can hold the episode together while standing on a roomba for an hour.
I... could not get it out of my head that the explosive was a roomba. That's just a roomba with blinky lights. Let it go, it'll sweep the room for you and get stuck on the carpet while sending 'help I'm stuck' texts to your phone.
Still, the anti-war message was well done, the anti-ableism is kinda blink and miss it, the anti-religion message was a bit heavy handed, I love that it was parental love that saved the day. Ruby nearly dying and the snow showing up again - this makes... three times now, I think, that snow shows up randomly with her. They've come a long way with keeping the foreshadowing consistent across episodes from how Bad Wolf was something that had to get sneaked into episodes late in the game back in the last time we had an S1 (2005, the ninth Doctor, still feel robbed that we didn't have a second season with him).
It definitely felt like a Moffat episode. I don't know how to explain it, but he does really tight, well done single episode plots. Which makes it that more frustrating that he doesn't know how to write an overarching seasonal plot to save his life. And mocks people for expecting him to be able to do so.
I think this is where I first really caught Susan Twist. Hard to miss as Ambulance, but I was like 'huh, I could have sworn I've seen her before' and checked IMDB. And realized I was recognizing her from a cameo on the previous episode. And Space Babies.
The Anglican Marines were a callback to a Moffat era episode, which was another thing that made it feel like a Moffat episode even before I realized it was one. It's a very distinctive callback. (couldn't resist a Leverage reference there, lol)
I really liked 73 Yards. It was a great Ruby episode, establishing her as quite the determinator. Of course, it was filmed while the Doctor was still hanging out in Barbie Land, hence why it's a Doctor lite episode. I've really enjoyed all the fandom meta about fairy circles and Welsh culture regarding what the woman 73 yards away may have really been. It's one of those episodes where it's more interesting to leave things unexplained, kind of like with Midnight.
Honestly, I think this episode is a stand out one to me. It's about being punished for breaking rules you didn't know existed and the fear of being abandoned in a split second by people who loved you or liked you just moments before. It's about standing up against evil even when it seems like it's too big to truly be touched.
Ruby not being able to hold down a relationship because she's just... constantly preoccupied by other things? Feels very aro to me. I'm claiming Ruby for the aromantics now. :D Also love that they need to age Ruby up some? Just slap on some glasses. It's all good. Better than some of the age ups done on the Flash, tbh.
I also like that saving the world from one bad guy isn't an insta-reset. Ruby has to finish living her life and only then does she get a chance to set things right. And I'd like to think that this domino effects the bad guy out of existence since he - or whatever he may have been possessed by? - was never released.
Now Dot and Bubble... I think if I hadn't had the 'they're all racists' thing spoiled the episode would have hit harder. But honestly there was something off about Lindy from the start so I'm not sure I'd have liked her even if I hadn't known. Ricky being a rebel for not spending his entire day online was more annoying than anything. I do agree he was being used to demonstrate that had the Doctor been white still, he'd have had the Finetime survivors doing whatever he asked. But Ricky was still a racist among racists and while I feel bad Lindy shoved him under the bus and I do wonder if he might have been willing to shelve his prejudices in order to survive... I don't care enough to check out fanfic for other people's takes on him.
Honestly, Lindy was no Sally Sparrow or any of the other one off point of view characters we had. Which, she was a racist all along, so that fits. But it also means it's not the kind of episode that really sticks with me.
I do think the episode did a good job of pointing out how insidious and normalized racism can look. Oh, here's Ricky, a silly guy who sings and reads books. Oh there's Lindy, she can't even walk without someone calling out directions for her. But evil is very human. It isn't monstrous and other, it's people who initially seem very likeable. Who say things and you agree with them only to realize later that what they were saying and what they meant were two very different things and you weren't agreeing with what you thought you were.
These are the seemingly polite, smiling neo nazis who think the lesser races are meant to serve. The real monsters weren't the slugs or the AI run amok. They were just the clean up crew.
It is heartbreaking though that the Doctor still wants to save these people and can't. They won't let him. And here I am hoping that their boat went straight into the mouth of a giant water slug.
I'm looking forward to watching Rogue, the Bridgerton homage. I'm not sure how I feel about Rogue, but I'm sure I'll find him delightful once I actually see him in action. And of course now Doctor Who has been hit by the Disney First Gay Curse, in which every queer character is the first gay character so that they can be erased or otherwise minimized when the next first gay character arrives. Jack Harkness did not kiss the Ninth Doctor for the first gay kiss on the show to be attributed now - many queer kisses between various characters later - to the first season on Disney+.
Booo.
And then the penultimate episode will be bringing back Sutekh from the original series, neatly tying the 'new' supernatural stuff back into the old supernatural stuff that's been part and parcel with the show - and the Who-niverse at large, thank you Sarah Jane vs the Trickster and Torchwood vs fairies - for decades and decades now. Just as I was saying before the season started airing. Supernatural elements in Doctor Who aren't new, this isn't some brand new direction for the show. It's just the old made new again and that is delightful.
i'm looking forward to finding out what's really up with Ruby and her magic snow and her constantly shifting in time mother. And I'm glad both she and 15 are going to be sticking around for another season.
That said... this isn't going to be taking the place of my favorite season or even the top five. it's missing something and I'm not quite sure what.
(But also I'm so glad they're bringing back the Pantheon of Discord elements that were going to be in the Sarah Jane Adventures but had to be dropped after Elizabeth Sladen's death. It feels like a bit of an homage to Sarah Jane and to Elizabeth to bring back the dropped plot lines and have them carried forward after all. Not how the Sarah Jane Adventures would have done it, of course, but in a way that honors what the Sarah Jane Adventures had already established.)
#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#fandom meta#doctor who meta#thanks for asking :D#kitkatt0430 answers
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for the ask meme, the five numbers you like the least. not the questions. the literal numbers.
"the five numbers you like the least" bruh I'm still not sure why I'd be expected to have strong number opinions but here we are I guess.
Also you didn't specify a fandom so I'm just gonna jump around here for funsies
12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them
Alright listen aitsf/aini fandom. I get why a lot of y'all don't like Lien. His interactions with Kizuna early on aren't great and there's a valid critque to be said about that dynamic perpetuating creepy stalkerish tendencies "wearing a woman down until she accepts a relationship". BUT there's a lot more to him than that which is super compelling. Lien at the chronological start of the game is a former criminal trying to better himself and feeling bummed out because he got fired from a legitimate job he had because of his criminal history. Ultimately his relationship with Kizuna motivates Lien to better himself and not give up and find a job that suits his skill set. I think the exploration of classism and the struggles of trying to better yourself in a society that believes "once a criminal always a criminal" in Lien is compelling plus he's just a big dumb guy that loves his girlfriend. YES their first meeting was bad but dammit Lien being Kizuna's legs for her so they can dance is so fucking cute and it fucking got me. Sorry haters in this house I love Lien Twining.
17. there should be more of this type of fic/art
I think there should be Sam and Max fic that actually fits closer to Steve Purcell's style. I've seen some really great fanart/fan comics that I think feel very Sam and Max and fit the style of its various incarnations but fic is kind of a different story. I've definitely read some INCREDIBLE sam and max fics but overall most of them are kinda mediocre and I think it's because a lot of sam and max writers are young and aren't quite equipped to tell a story that fits sam and max, mostly by treating them too seriously. Sam and Max is first and foremost a comedy and even canon at its darkest still manages to have plenty of genuinely funny moments. There's nothing wrong with trying to explore a more serious side to the characters mind you but a lot of it in my opinion takes it too far to the point where Sam and Max don't feel like Sam and Max.
18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...
Okay buffy fandom, maybe I am looking in the wrong place by why is there Robin Wood fandom. I know season 7 sucks but Robin is a highlight of that season for me. I think he's a very compelling character, the son of a slayer who lost his mom at a young age and takes up the fight himself. I don't think the show really used his character to the fullest potential but that's what fandom is supposed to be for. At least it is when the character with untapped potential is white but ALAS here we are. Anyway I love Robin a lot I don't talk about him much but I think he's neat and I wish there was more appreciation for him out there.
19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...
Nothing tbh. CRINGE CULTURE IS DEAD BABY IN THIS HOUSE WE'RE BEING GENUINE ABOUT WHAT WE LIKE!!!!! THAT'S WHAT THE REAL COOL KIDS (TM) ARE DOING
23. ship you've unwillingly come around to
Probably franmaya. Like I used to really like not like it when I was younger (mostly because Maya is my favourite character while I didn't care much for Franziska. Like I didn't hate franziska per se I just didn't like her as much as other. idk what to tell you somehow I didn't get the crush on franziska gene that every other sapphic woman has) but due to it being a common background ship in narumitsu fics and one really good analysis post tumblr breaking down maya and franziska's similarities in a way that actually made it click I've softened on the ship. I still won't actively seek it out but I might reblog a cute fanart here or there if I come across it.
Thanks for the asks dude, even if u asked them in the weirdest fucking way
send me some more "choose violence" fandom asks
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Slowly chipping away at the css and javascript for the guestbook. I'm editing it from ayano's comment widget, but my knowledge of javascript is still a little minimal so this is very much a trial and error process!
The main thing is that the actual process of leaving a comment and having it show up definitely works, which is definitely good! It seems like there's an issue with a new neocities policy blocking the widget on new accounts unless you're a supporter, but luckily my account was made before that went into effect, so it still works for me.
Things I've done:
Put the widget into 2 columns and aligned everything with the pages of the book. (I'll have to edit the image a bit because the spine isn't quite straight.) Added "break-inside: avoid" to the comments and the form so they don't get split up between columns.
Changed all measurements (font size, width, etc.) from pixels to relative units like % and cqw, so that everything scales when the window resizes, stays where it's supposed to be, and doesn't go off the page.
Put the pagination buttons where I want them.
Changed the flex properties of the input fields in the form so they align a bit better.
Started playing with the css a bit to figure out what I want everything to look like. I haven't decided what I want the buttons to look like yet, and everything else is subject to change, too.
Thing I want to (try to) do: (after the cut!)
Add first/last page buttons in addition to the next/previous buttons. Done!
Try to make pagination more realistic to an actual guestbook. Currently, the first page is on the left and successive pages are on the right, but in a real book, it's the opposite - previous pages are on the left. This shouldn't be too hard, but I also want to reverse the order of pages itself, so that instead of page 1 being the current page and the oldest page changing depending on the total amount of changes, the oldest page will always be page 1 and the current page will be however many pages there are. Again, so it's more like a real book. :) This should also make it easier to find comments - if you know your comment is on page 16, it will always be on page 16. (Unless a lot of replies are added to a previous comment that pushes it forward.) Done! After adding first/last page buttons, this was easy - all I had to do was put a line that "clicks" the last page button to put the guestbook on the most recent page when it loads.
Make it so the form to leave a comment only appears on the current/most recent page, to leave more room to show comments on older pages. Because of the way the site has to scale due to fixed collage backgrounds, I think I generally have to keep the font size pretty big so it's as readable as possible on smaller devices. So, I'll only be able to show a few comments on each page, and if I have to show the form on every page as well, it'll be even fewer. Done!
Show page numbers, but according to each column/"page" of the guestbook image, rather than what the code considers a page (both columns). This shouldn't be too hard - I just need to add some equation like, right column/page = the actual page number x 2, and the left column/page is that minus 1. Done!
For some reason it's creating a duplicate pagination when you post a new comment - fix this somehow. I'm guessing it's because the pagination is created in the displayComments function, which probably runs again to refresh after you post a comment or reply. Maybe if I take the pagination out of there and put it in its own thing, it'll fix this. Done! Rather than making it its own function and then figuring out where/when to call it, I just added a condition to the existing function's if statement that makes sure pagination doesn't already exist before creating it.
See if there's a way to make the max comments per page just however many can fit rather than having to specify an amount. This would mess up the count defining the page number variable which would mess up all the pagination, though, since it seems to be based on the total number of comments divided by the max comments per page. After many frustrated days, done! This was a little beyond my skill level so it took a lot of trial and error, but it seems to be working now! Let's just hope adding individual reply boxes won't mess things up too much...
Add a reply box that appears right under the comment you're applying to, instead of using the main comment form, so you can still leave replies even if the comment form doesn't appear on old pages. (I'll try to find a way so this doesn't mess things up entirely, because I want to keep reply functionality available if possible, even if it would be easier to have replies just not be a thing. I might add collapsed replies back in or maybe just have replies scroll if it becomes a problem.)
Somehow add a functionality where replies from me will have slightly different css than regular comments so they're easy to tell apart. Not sure how this could be accomplished as it might require editing the google form, but I'll look into it??
Maybe add some kind of font selector to the form or otherwise have fonts randomize between a few different options, so it looks more like a real guestbook with varied handwriting across entries.
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To be clear, I definitely don't think that translating literally is obligatory or is an end in itself. I post about the virtues of literalism, but that's because I think the overall discourse is too one-sided and everyone takes it for granted that "literal is bad". But when it comes to translations that I personally admire, that's often because they make some elegant move "sideways", departing from the exact meaning in order to serve some other purpose. (Like specifying the species of snake. Or I previously mentioned Y. Chang's English translation of Ren'ai Circulation, which is very loose, with many sentences entirely invented, but seems to accurately capture the "cuteness" of the song.)
I certainly agree with you about the song snippet, the strawman literal translation is obviously much worse than your actual translation.
But I still don't like the two examples in my post above. It's admirable when somebody solves a difficult problem in a creative way, but producing "could mankind really be on the verge" is not difficult, you just look at the words in front of you. What made Woolsey so sure that what he writes is better than what the original author wrote? I guess what bugs me about this is that it is disrespectful, in the sense that he only does this because he doesn't respect the source text. If he was given a highbrow novel to translate he surely would not rewrite it, but he thinks this is schlock that doesn't matter. And yet, the game sold millions of copies, and we are still talking about it 30 years later—maybe it was not so insignificant after all.
Similarly for the Mankell novel: it seems arrogant to simultaneously decide that "this is a good novel, we should buy the rights and translate it and publish it in English" and also "the prose style is shit, let's rewrite all the sentences". How many best-selling crime novels have you written, Mr. Anonymous Editor?
I also had some additional thoughts, but these are all just by-the-by, they don't affect your main point:
✧ I do think your song example is a bit of a strawman, e.g. "in what gap of time" is not something anyone would ever say in English. If that's the definition of "literal" then nobody would want to do it. But obviously it's a fallacy to say that an exact one-to-one translation is impossible and therefore literalness doesn't matter at all. Just as an example, one of my friends took a class where they were given translation exercises, with the requirements that
Each sentence should be translated into one sentence.
Each content-word in the sentence should be translated in some way (but it's ok to e.g. change its part-of-speech, so that "fast" becomes "high speed" or whatever).
To be clear this was just an exercise for learning Japanese, it's not advice about how to do professional translation. But if you try, for most prose text I think it's quite possible to follow these rules and produce something that still sounds like natural English. I think that's a realistic standard to compare other translations against.
✧ I think Japanese song lyrics in particular often call for a freer translation than ordinary prose, because they often seem to be written in a particularly "poetical" and elliptic style. I would guess that this is partly because Japanese words use so many syllables, so writers are forced to leave things implicit for space reasons! (I wonder if you could draw a connection to ultra-short poetry like haiku..?) If you translate into equally few words in English, the result is often not even intelligible, let alone faithful to the author's intensions...
You can see the same process in reverse when people translate English songs into Japanese, like the examples in this blog post, where the translator changed full sentences into noun-phrase fragments to fit them in. Or this cover of Stayin' Alive, which translates "Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk / I'm a woman's man, no time to talk" as "歩き方でわかるだろ / そうさ 男ってところ". They had to cut material, but I think it was inspired to notice that the critical word in the sentence is "man"!
✧ I think you sometimes overestimate how much impact the lack of a common ancestor language has, when something is maybe explained by a particular grammatical feature in isolation. In particular, the omitted verb in "いつの間かこんなに強く" seems similar to things like "XがYに。" or "XをYに。" for nouns X Y. But I would say this is enabled by the fact that the case is marked, and you see similar omitted verbs in Latin, which also marks case on nouns. And I note that English's closest genetic relative, German, also marks case. Sadly I don't speak enough German to know, but I would not be surprised if you could see a similar construction there also...
Pointlessly nonliteral translation
Most discussion of literal versus free translation focus on cases where it’s impossible to convey everything from the source text, e.g. because of cultural references, hard-to-translate words, language-specific features, or puns.
But I feel another much less discussed issue is when things get translated freely for no obvious reason.
Lawrence Venuti gives a rather bizarre example. A novel by Swedish crime writer Henning Mankell was translated by an American translator. This translation was then licenced by a British publisher and heavily edited, supposedly in order to adapt it into British English:
(source text:) Han la på luren. En oväntad känsla av avundsjuka drabbade honom med full kraft. Han hade själv gärna rest till Uganda. Och gjort någonting helt annat. Inget kunde vara värre än att se en ung människa ta livet av sig som en bensinindränkt fackla. Han avundades Per Åkeson som inte bara låtit viljan till uppbrott stanna vid ord.
(Translation by Steven T. Murray:) He hung up. An unexpected feeling of jealousy hit him full force. He would have liked to travel to Uganda himself, to do something completely different. Nothing could be worse than seeing a young person commit suicide as a gasoline-soaked torch. He envied Per Åkeson, who wasn’t going to let his desire to leave stop at mere words.
(British edition:) He hung up. He felt a pang of jealousy. He would have liked to travel to Uganda himself, to have a complete change. Nothing could undo the horror of seeing a young person set herself alight. He envied Per Åkeson, who wasn’t going to let his desire to escape stop at mere dreams.
Venuti talks about how the edits make the translation less “foreign”, and also more “British” because it’s “understated”, but to me the most noticeable difference is that the first version is a nearly literal, word-for-word translation, and it’s fine. I guess the edited version is smoother, in that e.g. “a pang of jealousy” is a more common colocation than “a feeling of jealousy”, but then again the phrase is not necessarily common in Swedish either. Why mess with it?
For a different example, a while ago nostalgebraist made a post comparing different translations of the Final Fantasy VI opening narration. The last sentence variously becomes:
(source text:) 人はまた そのあやまちを 繰り返そうとしているのか…
(Woolsey:) Can it be that those in power are on the verge of repeating a senseless and deadly mistake?
(Slattery:) Could anyone truly be foolish enough to repeat that mistake?
(Sky Render:) Would this man be willing to destroy the world again for his own greed…?
(ark-shifter:) Could mankind really be on the verge of repeating such a mistake…?
All versions except the last one introduce phrases that do not correspond to anything in the source (”senseless and deadly”, “foolish enough”, “destroy the world”, “his own greed”), and per nostalgebraist’s post these additions don’t always make sense with respect to the rest of the story—but more to the point, why add them at all? Just translating the thing word-for-word seems to work just fine.
I guess my naïve expectation is that translators would work basically word-for-word unless there is any particular reason not to, while in the above examples the translators apparently took a much freer approach by default.
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— better than (m.)
pairing : iwaizumi/reader
wordcount : 3.087
genre : fluff, smut, pwp
cw : college!au, athletic trainer!iwaizumi
tags : implied age gap (hes 27 reader is in college- age nkt specified. he's older tho), size kink, dom!iwa, pussy job (a lil bit), multiple orgasms, sensitivity kink (if u squint), squirting, fingering, creampie, aftercare.
note : this was just an excuse to write about how iwaizumi is better than any other boy <3 thank u to @toshisins for beta'ing this for me <3
+ summary : you're so tired of dumb college boys who hump and dump, with no stroke game, and can never even try to get you off. that is, until you meet 27 year old iwaizumi hajime.
When you first met Iwaizumi Hajime at the bar near your college campus, you noticed how good looking he was. Well, that was an understatement - he was tall, fit with tanned skin and a confident aura that made you weak in the knees.
You hadn't actually had the courage to approach him, however. Instead, you let some college boy buy you a cheap drink and take you home for some mediocre sex before kicking you out after not even 15 minutes of his reckless humping.
The second time you met him was at the same place. He was sitting at the bar, nursing a glass of whiskey that was almost empty. His back was to you and it gave you a wonderful view of his broad shoulders.
The mediocre lay from the last time you had been there attempted to chat you up again with false confidence, as if he had been the best fuck of your life. Naturally, you weren't having any of his bullshit - he tried to rub your clit like a scratch and sniff, forcing you to pry his hand away from it, there was no chance in hell you were giving him another second of your time. He definitely wasn't the type of guy who took rejection well, if not evident by the way he exploded and went off calling you a wide, colorful variety of names paired with numerous hurtful insults that had tears of humiliation filling your eyes.
“Hey now,” a smooth, deep voice had interrupted his very public spiel, “Don’t punish the girl for your own short comings, if she doesn't wanna fuck you again, don't you think that says more about your abilities as a man?”
The other man sputtered, muttering even more curses before storming out - probably not wanting to tussle with a guy who looked like he benched every second of his day.
There was something about Iwaizumi that just immediately had your heart skipping a beat over him. He was kind, a gentleman, and never seemed desperate or overbearing. He was confident and comfortable with himself and where he was in life.
You quickly learned that Iwaizumi was 27, almost 28 and worked as an athletic trainer so he traveled a lot.
For a while, your relationship seemed one sided with him. You'd text him and he’d reply but he rarely ever actually reached out to you. You tried flirting with him, asking him out for drinks, but it never seemed to pull him in.
It was frustrating. In basically no time at all, you had developed a stupid puppy dog crush on him. You felt like a middle school girl with a crush on a high school senior - like he was never going to give you the time of day. You were simply too young for him.
You eventually stopped trying with him, choosing to delete your message thread with him and continued on with your life.
You went through more college-boy hookups - all of them ending in disaster. Quite frankly, you were fed up with mediocre cock and being treated like shit when they were done with you. It wasn't a nice feeling, being kicked out after they didn't even bother trying to make you cum.
You couldn’t help but wonder what Iwaizumi would be like in bed. He was just so attractive, you knew he had gotten his dick wet more times than he could count. He definitely seemed the type who preferred relationships over hookups.
That's when it occurred to you.
You pulled out your phone and scoured your contacts. It had been a couple weeks since you spoke but you couldn't resist bugging him just one last time. You opened a new message thread with him and quickly typed the question that was now plaguing your mind.
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
It was the question that had changed the course of your relationship with him.
When you asked, it was like everything fell into place. Perhaps it finally relayed to him the interest you had. All that really mattered was the fact he suddenly began talking to you, starting conversations and even venturing into phone calls with you.
You lost all interest in those college boys you once hung out with and went home with to get laid. None of them made you feel the way Iwaizumi could with a simple text message. He was everything a girl could ask for and you were shocked he was single.
Which was why you were quick to ask him on a date, not caring if it made you look desperate -- you practically were. You would be damned if he went off the market while you were busy beating around the bush.
Going on a date with Iwaizumi was like a dream. You were so used to dates at sleazy bars for a couple of drinks just so they could hurry up and take you home for a quick fuck.
Iwaizumi took the time to take you on several dates -- dinner, movies, walks around town to obscure shops he thought you might like, before it finally led to the bedroom.
You had never been nervous with sex but with Iwaizumi it was different. The routine was dumb college boys who usually fawned over your tits for a few minutes before their hard ons became the center of their brain function.
You found yourself completely bare on his bed as he stood at the foot, fully clothed. The way his eyes raked across your body like a lion eyeing its next, delicious meal had you curling in on yourself shyly.
His lips quirked up as your arms came across your breasts, shielding them from his predatory gaze, “Oh now, you know better than that, don’t you? What kind of good girl hides herself, hm? Acted so eager for my cock all this time, now you wanna be shy?”
You gasp, cheeks flushing hot as you register his words -- he’d known you wanted him that badly all this time?
He clicks his tongue, “You didn’t think you were subtle did you? Bet you would have done anything to get your paws on my dick when I got off work early the other day, hm? Showed up at your apartment...you were starin’ real hard at me, I’m right aren’t I?”
You think that to that day, lashes fluttering against your cheeks at the memory. He was wearing loose gray sweats and a muscle tank top that showed his biceps flexing with every movement he made. Your eyes had immediately been drawn, however more down to his crotch instead. Where you could clearly see the outline of his cock through the material.
You had stuffed your little fingers in your cunt for hours that night, thinking about how big he looked -- even soft, couldn’t imagine if he was hard.
“Ah, there you go again,” he muses, snapping you out of your haze, “Maybe if you ask real pretty for me, I’ll give you just what you want.”
“Please,” you immediately gasp, “Want you so much Hajime, i-it hurts. Can’t stop thinkin’ about you…”
“It hurts?” he huffs, finally reaching up to pull his shirt off, leaving you to ogle his pecs and defined abs, which flex as he works on removing his jeans, “Needy little cunt hurts ‘cause you don’t have a nice, fat cock stuffing it full? Such a dramatic little baby. I just know your phone is full of some little college boys’ numbers...why don’t you give them a call?”
You shake your head, “Don’t want them! I just know they’re not as good as you, Hajime, please...please make me cum, I'll do anything?”
“Aw, those idiot little boys don’t know how to make a pretty girl like you cum, is that it?” he asks, climbing onto the bed, making the mattress dip beneath you as he slots himself between your thighs.
“No,” you pout, letting him spread your legs, hands under your knees to open you up to his greedy gaze.
“So compliant with me, you just need a real man to get you off, huh?” he smiles when you nod, “Don’t worry, I’ll take real good care of you.”
Oh, you knew. Just from the way he moved his hips against yours, parting your folds so the head of his cock glided from your clenching little hole, dragging your slick up to your clit -- you just knew that he knew what he was doing.
As you looked between your legs, you felt yourself gush at the sight. His cock was so big, long and fat, drooling precum over your slick little slit, making a mess. He wrapped his fist around his length, making you whimper as his fingers couldn’t even wrap around the girth of him. He slapped his cock against your cunt, groaning at the strings of your slick that clung to him.
“Such a messy cunt,” he sighs, making sure to spank your clit with the head of his cock, laughing breathlessly when your thighs jumped in response to the sudden stimulation, “So fucking eager for me, aren’t you?”
“Uhuh,” you sigh, arching your hips, “Want you to fuck, please, Hajime, need it so bad.”
Much to your dismay, he shakes his head, “Can’t just put it in, pretty baby,” the pet name makes you whimper, “It’ll hurt too much, want you to feel good, yeah?”
“I can handle it,” you breathlessly reassure, canting his hips upward once more to drag your clit against that ridge on the crown of his cock, “Jus’ put it in…”
He doesn’t respond this time but still makes no move to put his cock inside. You’re distracted, however, by the way he now focuses on playing with your clit. Using his cock, he drags the underside across the hard little bud, slaps it once with the tip and before you know it your body is seizing up and you cum.
You let out a string of curses, falling limp against the bed as he works you through the quick high.
“See, that was so easy,” he chuckles, “Those stupid little boys you’ve been letting screw you have no idea what they’re doing, do they? Little cunts so sensitive, I barely even had to do anything to make you cum.”
You’re still trembling when you come down, licking your lips as you give him a dopey little smile and a nod at his cooing. He can’t resist leaning down, and pressing his lips against yours almost desperately. You wrap your arms around his neck, holding him in a deep kiss while his hand finds its way between your legs, two fingers sliding easily into your slick little cunt.
You moan into his mouth, “Hajime ah! ...please, make me cum again.”
“Fuck, you’re so desperate for me,” he hisses through his teeth, “Clenching around my fingers so tight. If I crook my fingers...right here...I bet you’ll just…”
As if on cue, his fingertips hook on your g-spot and you squeal, legs kicking out as you gush around his fingers. He bites his lip and continues to fuck his fingers against that spot, watching your eyes roll back, mouth falling open in a silent cry as you cum for the second time in mere minutes.
“Y-You’re so good, Hajime…” you praise softly, “Fuck, please, give me your cock now!”
He laughs and sits up properly again, pulling his fingers from your cunt. He examines them for a second, slick with your cum and streaks of cream covering the digits before he pops them into his mouth with a moan, savoring the taste of you.
“Alright, baby,” he sighs after pulling out his fingers with a pop!. He grips you beneath the knees again and scoots closer until his tip prods at your entrance. You shudder at the feeling, “Relax for me, pretty girl, let me in…”
Iwaizumi begins pushing in, letting out a soft groan as the head finally buries itself in your cunt. You squeal at the feeling, pulling your knees closer to your chest. The sound of you moaning and whimpering just from his head has him throbbing almost painfully against your tender cunt.
“Almost there…” he huffs, grinning at the sight of your eyes rolling back, “Ah, does that feel good?”
“Yes!” you cry out, “Biggest cock I’ve ever had…’s full…”
“Yeah, baby? It feels so good to finally get your cunt filled with a nice, big cock huh?” he laughs when you nod eagerly, “It’s alright, baby. You won’t have to deal with any mediocre college boys anymore, yeah? This cock’s all yours now…you hear that? All yours.”
Your hand flies down between your legs, finding your clit. He watches with lidded eyes as you circle the little bud and squeal, keeping his hips still to let you cum around his cock nice and hard like you need.
“That’s it, pretty girl,” he hums, “Get yourself off, you know what you need...atta girl…”
You sigh happily at his praise, licking your lips and relax against the bed once more. He takes that as his hint that you were ready, pulling his hips back before roughly slamming back inside your sensitive cunt. It knocks the air from your lungs and you cry out, unable to hold back your noises as he fucks you senseless.
He uses his strength to keep you pinned, forcing your knees against your chest, leaving your cunt open and vulnerable to his pistoning cock. Iwaizumi is so big that the stretch burns every time he sinks back into you, the tip touching your cervix with every calculated thrust, making your entire body ache with the deep pain of it.
But it all feels so good, you’d never been fucked like that before. He knew exactly where to aim his cock, keeping his eyes fixed on your face to watch your reactions, gaze flicking down to where his cock stuffs your cunt full to watch you coat him in your cream whenever he grazes that sweet little spot deep inside you -- a spot no other man had ever tried to find before.
“Feel good?” he questions, though he knew the answer even before you cry it out.
“Ah, yes! Yes, yes, yes!” you sob, “I-It feels so good, Hajime! Fuck, you’re so good at fucking me! You make me feel like a virgin all over again!”
He grins, “Yeah, I know I am, baby.”
His cocky, confident response would have been a turn off with any other man, but with him -- it only made you moan. He had every right to be cocky, he knew just how to use his cock and it was exhilarating.
“You gotta cum again for me, pretty,” he pants, “Cum again, one more time, let go.”
Your throat burns from how much you scream for him, the messy noises coming from him fucking your sloppy cunt should be embarrassing -- you’ve never made such a mess before. You’ve never been so wet, creaming and gushing all the way down his balls.
He didn’t seem to mind, instead he seemed to only be turned on by it.
“I want you to squirt, can you do that for me? Make a pretty mess for me.”
You shake your head, “D-Don’t know how...Can’t.”
“Yes you can, baby,” he purrs, “I can make you, you know that I will.”
You didn’t but, you couldn’t help but nod -- immediately believing him and trusting him. He shifts his knees just slightly, changing his center of balance before his palm curls over your pubic bone, thumb effortlessly finding itself pressed against your clit.
The change in angle lets him hit your g-spot even more brutal than before. You’re immediately arching and crying out for him, eyes rolling back into your head as you feel your orgasm slam into you faster than you’d ever experienced.
Instead of slowing you down, he works you through it, keeping the same, animalistic pace and keeps his thumb pressed against your clit, the rough pad of his thumb has you ogling. If anything, the calloused hands of Iwaizumi proves to you how much of a real man he is, those college boys have nothing on him.
“Give it to me, c’mon,” he urges, clenching his teeth together from the effort it takes to keep going to this hard and fast pace.
“H-Haji…” you cut yourself off as you feel yourself get thrown over the edge again. This time, something feels different and you can’t help but sob, “Please! I-I’m gonna-!”
“That’s it, fuck!” he moans, pace stuttering when you squirt -- your cum splashing against his abs as you shudder and squeal, “Good fuckin’ girl, my good girl. Shit, where do you want me to cum?”
“I-Inside! Fuck, please! I need your cum!” you immediately sob, nails biting in his biceps where you reach out to grip him -- trembling and crying from overstimulation as he works towards his own high.
“You sure? Shit,” you nod, breathless pleas falling from your lips as he finally stills, spilling his load deep inside with a long, drawn-out groan.
Everything is still for a moment and then he’s pulling out with a hiss. You whine at the feeling of your cunt gaping, yearning for his cock again, as his cum leaks out.
He hums, “Sorry about that, let me get you cleaned up.”
You sigh, and close your eyes, trying to relax and let your body settle its trembling. He comes back and quietly works on cleaning the mess between your thighs.
“Alright, up you go,” he sighs, taking your arm and helping you to your feet. You whine and wobble for a second, making him laugh, “You good?”
“Y-Yeah…” you stumble a bit and lean against his dresser, looking for your discarded clothes.
He has his back to you as he strips his sheets. Suddenly, you feel shut out -- like you shouldn’t be there anymore.
He brushes past you to his closet, pulling out some fresh sheets. You feel silly, standing there naked while he gets ready for bed. You bend down and grab your panties, clumsily putting them on before moving to pick up your dress, where it’s crumpled on the floor.
“What’re you doing?” he laughs, “That won’t be comfortable to sleep in.”
“Huh?” you tilt your head to the side and he pauses fluffing his pillows.
“What...you didn’t think I was kicking you out, did you?” he asks and scoffs at the face you make.
“Well I...usually I…” you shift on your feet nervously and he frowns, walking up to you.
He cups your cheeks and makes you look at him, “Jesus, who have you been fucking?” he laughs and gently nudges you towards the bed, “Lay down before you fall over.”
Fighting back a smile, you do as you’re told and sit on the bed, watching as he puts on a fresh pair of sweats, waiting for him to join you. When he does, he immediately pulls you into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
“Take a nap, and then we’ll take a shower.”
“It’s 11 at night, it wouldn’t be a nap,” you counter with a giggle.
“Well,” he sighs, “Take a shower in the morning then, and then we can go get breakfast, yeah?”
You smile and relax against him, “Sounds good.”
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#haikyuu smut#hq smut#iwaizumi smut#haikyuu x reader#hq x reader#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi hajime smut#hajime iwaizumi smut#iwaizumi hajime x reader#hajime iwaizumi x reader#afton.writes
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Hey!!! It's 🇧🇷 anon here! How are you?
⠀
Well... can I request yandere Snake Fruit Cookie and Tainted Vanilla Cookie (separately) with a darling that is a dragon with a level equal to or higher than the Longan Dragon but instead of using it for evil they just don't use it or use it to help everyone?
Well... I don't know if this idea I had would fit with the yandere themes but... If you think it doesn't fit then you can make a normal relationship
And yes... I'm making a request for a character from your CRK AU (I hope you accept requests with your AU characters)
I’m sick, I guess to put it simply. This cold is getting worse and better at the same time. Tbh I kinda waited for something to come from you. Idk why I just expected something.
You didn’t specify headcanons or a fic so I just went with something in between.
Sorry last comment. Yes, I definitely do accept requests for my Villain AU. It helps me sort out thoughts and kinda get a better idea.
Tw: Kidnapping, snake bite/venom usage, mentions of murder, blood (strawberry jam), yandere itself lmao, feeling of being unaccepted (idk if this is a Tw)
(I made banners (⌒▽⌒))
Doesn’t use powers
Snake Fruit would have mixed feelings.
They hate the fact you’re a dragon at first. After all, you’re already what they strive so hard to be. So before they start to obsess, they interact with you in a malicious way.
Let’s say you were friendly or on good terms with Longan Dragon. So one day, while you were visiting the palace, Snake Fruit was taking orders from Longan. Curious to see who this new cookie was, you asked Longan.
“A snake who is desperate to become a dragon. They try to hide themselves and act like an obedient servant, but I know their intentions. All they want to do is overthrow my position. Such a disgrace indeed.”
Since then, you’ve been defensive whenever you passed by them in the long corridors. Likewise, whenever they greeted you there was underlying venom.
That was until they eavesdropped on your conversation with Longan.
“Why don’t you use your powers? Surely you must use them for something.”
“No, I just find no reason to use them. I don’t have any enemies, nor do I have the hunger for power like you.”
This piqued Snake Fruit’s curiosity. It’s quite ironic for a dragon to not use their powers. Especially one as powerful as Longan. Wanting to know more, they observed you more closely.
If you visit the palace they’ll greet you as per normal, but occasionally they’ll ask questions about your life.
“Ssay, you sseem to be living the liberty. Do you do anything elsse during your never-ending leissure?”
“I do like to observe the outside world from my living space. It’s interesting to see cookies do many different things.”
“You must usse your powerss to ssee around the world then!”
“Surprisingly no. I usually just sit next to my window and look at the civilization below.”
As they learn more, the more they appreciate your humbleness and neutrality when seeing other cookies.
In their mind, they see you as someone who believes power do not define social status. This especially makes them happy since they get called out at for being weak or fake. (From dragons at least)
Soon enough they become friendly and the poison between each other washed away; replaced with a friendship that soon turned into a more concerning relationship.
Snake Fruit now would follow you whenever they could. It was fine until one day, they appeared at your doorstep with tea and jellies in hand.
“Hello my friend! I’ve brought ssnackss for us to sshare!”
They would force themselves into your home and lounge around with you. Sitting beside you a little bit too close for friends. Staring into your cookie-soul with a smile that hid the true intentions. That’s when you started to get overwhelmed.
After a few months, you finally broke and confronted Snake Fruit; telling them that they’re being too unsettling. Finally, Snake Fruit hissed and in mere seconds they coiled themselves around you.
“We are on equal levelss you and I. You are the only who ssees my wayss, and treat with me with the resspect I’ve desired. I can’t sstop myself anymore. I need you by my sside, forever…”
In a state of panic, you struggled to decide your next action.
Should you use your power? No, you’ve sworn that you wouldn’t use them. Attack them? But what would occur in the future?
Your thoughts were stopped by a sharp pain going through your body. Snake Fruit had bit you.
You immediately started to feel weaker, limbs unable to struggle from the bind. Fatigue weighed you down, causing your brain to cease thinking properly.
“I’m glad you haven’t ussed your powerss. You really do love me don’t you? It’ss good that you only get weaker from my bite…And not death.”
In a few minutes your eyes started to droop, putting you to sleep. In your last moments of consciousness, you heard snickering and the feeling of being placed onto a cushion.
Snake Fruit had kidnapped you to their home, in their sedan with their servants. In power, just like how you once were.
Tainted Vanilla wouldn’t care too much. Except for the fact that you don’t care about status in terms of power. To him, that is a relief. After dealing with so much abandonment from his curse, it makes him feel accepted. (Snake Fruit and TV are similar for status lmao)
He definitely likes to ask why you don’t like using your powers.
“Say, you never use your powers. Even for the hardest tasks, you still don’t. Is there a reason why?”
“I like to think myself equal to all the cookies in this world. It makes me feel more in-touch with the present. Unlike Longan, who unfortunately cannot see the world is not only about power.” (Longan pulling a Raiden Shogun moment)
TV never liked change, it always made him feel uncomfortable; but seeing you wanting to accept all changes no matter what made him also want to accept change.
“Maybe I need to accept the fact Light Enchantress doesn’t see me as the same. Or is she just blind?”
There can be both a positive and negative end for Tainted Vanilla. The positive one being that he realizes people change, and so must he. The negative one being him going even more berserk and end up killing his beloved friend.
When he realizes he needs to change, he’ll stop wanting acknowledgement from Light Enchantress. Instead, he’ll just fight for the betrayal his comrades went through. It doesn’t mean he isn’t a little crazy though.
He won’t hesitate to bury his dough arms into strawberry jam.
Going back to the negative one, he’ll slowly start to doubt L. Enchantress even more and snaps. Before, he only wanted her to acknowledge the fact that he is still Vanilla cookie, and is only troubled with a curse that’s been cast upon him. Now, he wants total punishment.
He wants to see her in pain. For her to feel the torture he went through when she left him behind to crack. To see what devastation truly can be.
“You deserve this. You left me behind to the witches! Today, I stand here with demons and troubled souls haunting my mind and dough every moment!”
“I just couldn’t bare the thought of-”
You know the rest.
Keep in mind though, he’ll still keep you, no matter the ending. You are the only cookie to cure his curse temporarily when he’s around you. Although you’ll have more access to the company of other cookies if he’s happier. ——————————————————I think I just went raging fast with Tainted Vanilla’s…sorry about that.
When I was writing I realized how similar Tainted Vanilla and Snake Fruit are. They have similar problems, and are struggling to fix them.
Anyway, I hope you like it.
Unedited
- Celina
#cookie run kingdom#cookie run villan au#tainted vanilla cookie#yandere x reader#cookie run ovenbreak#snake fruit cookie#yandere cookie run#Yandere snake fruit cookie
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ML Theory: Episode 22, Finale, Ladynoir, and Everything Else
This will have rocketear and finale synopsis spoilers - be warned.
I genuinely do think that the two part finale of season 4, "The Last Attack of Shadowmoth" (which is,,, a title to say the least; more on that in a bit) is gonna be so tense for a variety of reasons.
Rocketear Analysis
We have a couple of gamechanger episodes coming up. Rocketear definitely was a gamechanger as Adrien was able to realize that Alya and Nino are aware of each other's identities with Ladybug giving them permission. And he's angry about it. He knows that Ladybug lied to him about the rules, and he also knows that her being the guardian is definitely something that has led to their relationship being affected (flashbacks to a previous s4 ep when he's like it's cool if she's the guardian, as long as their partnership isn't affected - well that was some foreshadowing, wasn't it?). Honestly, seeing that as Marinette makes all the rules now as guardian, her decisions should be able to include her knowing Chat's identity. But. Chat Blanc exists, and I think that her not telling him about it and hiding it from him is a parallel to how she wanted Alya to hide the truth from Nino (obviously this failed too - Alya went behind her back to tell Nino the truth). She knows that he'd understand if she told him and its better to tell him that he may destroy everything if they knew each other's identities than left him feeling isolated and alone and at risk for literally getting akumatized. By isolating him, she's quite literally putting the world at risk for Chat Blanc 2.0, rather than her telling him something heartbreaking and being there for him so he doesn't get hurt by Shadow Moth's intentions. I think that she'll come to realize this in the finale and learn from her mistakes.
I think that in this screenshot, we got a snippet of foreshadowing of what's to come:
I saw some people theorize that this is foreshadowing that Adrien's real identity is between Ladynoir, and while this could be general foreshadowing for the entirety of the show (Marinette is in love with Adrien, and that's why she can't love Chat Noir), I do think that interpretation could be misplaced here due to the tone of the episode. Instead, I believe that this is foreshadowing that Chat may reveal himself to Ladybug. After all, she literally knows the identity of literally every other person who has a miraculous, and is the guardian.
*Side note: It also reminds me a lot of Felix. Could be a reference to that? Not sure what my thoughts on that being, but it's just somehting that struck me.
Episode 22
In my mind, it would make most sense for Adrien to reveal himself in episode 22. We've been told by the people who make the show that since episode 22 is the 100th episode of the show overall, it will be incredibly serious. This episode may run the highest risk of Adrien being akumatized into Chat Blanc again, as tensions are definitely running high. However, another akumatization event could happen, and Chat could be left out again, making him angry. I think that him getting akumatized is more likely, however. This is because of his appearance in Sentibubbler - I think that's foreshadowing. After everything is taken care of, Chat Noir and Ladybug will get into an argument. Chat will tell Ladybug that he knows about Alya and Nino, and that he thinks she's a hypocrite. He was loyal to her, and now he's having his doubts about their partnership, because he doesn't even think its a partnership anymore. Ladybug is the guardian and has more secrets that she is keeping from him. She talks about Chat Blanc and tells him that him finding out her identity leads to basically the end of the world. Adrien is surprised that he was akumatized before. He then gets mad at her for literally hiding this from him when they could've taken precautions beforehand, and then could possibly assert that he doesn't know what else she's hiding from him. He also, at the same time, doesn't feel like he should be Chat Noir anymore if he poses that much of a risk to the world. He detransforms in front of her and gives her the miraculous. He tells her he won't be a problem again, and leaves.
Finale
Ladybug, of course, realizes her mistake and tries to get him back. However, over the course of 23 and 24, she is caught up with Alya and Nino's problems with them not hiding their secrets. Adrien is already scheduled to leave Paris for a couple of weeks with Lila, and Ladybug trying to persuade him to stay is basically one of the main conflicts of the final episode. Pair this with "ShadowMoth's Last Attack" and you've got a season finale. I think the name of the season finale, is, as always, a misdirect. There's no way Gabriel is getting all his miraculous taken away until season 5, as that's when the full reveal happens, so it seems like he'll return to just regular old Hawkie. I don't think it would make sense for him to be disarmed now and for next season's finale to have the full reveal. Here's the synopsis below so we can dissect it.
Shadowmoth's Last Attack
Having understood that if Ladybug always triumphs, it's thanks to her prudence, Papillombre (Shadow Moth) conceives a diabolical plan around a super villain endowed with the power to push his victims to take all risks. When Marinette learns that Adrien must leave Paris for several weeks with Lila, new muse of the Agreste brand, she is ready to do she is ready to do anything to stop him. How far will she go? Even to the fatal risk of betraying her secret identity for love? And will Adrien take the risk to finally stand up to his father?
Okay, so let's dissect this. What I said before adds up to Adrien leaving with Lila. It would also explain why Marinette would potentially reveal herself to Adrien, if only to get him to stay. Because she knows that he's Chat, and maybe her being Marinette will somehow influence his decision. Or, it may show him that she's finally willing to trust him with everything.
It could also allude back to the song in the movie. Since the Miraculous movie was originally intended to act as a finale to Season 5, we can take things from early development and see if they end up fitting in the narrative. In this situation I'm going to quote "Ce mur qui nous separe" (English translation: The Wall Between Us), the French song that was made for the movie when it was intended to be the Season 5 finale.
It’s strong when I see him I want to scream on the rooftops our love that reaches out to us But I know that I can’t It’s not the right moment We have to be patient be patient
Here's the French translation in case the translation Genius gave me was wrong:
C’est fort quand je le vois Je veux crier sur tous les toits Notre amour qui nous tend les bras Mais je sais que je ne dois pas Ce n’est pas le moment Il faut être patients Être patients
This part of the song is from Marinette's perspective, and the fact that she's saying that she has to wait for the right moment to actually be in love with him probably means that she knows Adrien's identity. Because why would she "know" that she can't love him? Why is it not the right moment? Why do they have to be patient? Her being Ladybug and being unable to be in a relationship may explain why it's not the right moment, but the fact that she says "our" love points me in another direction. She knows she loves Adrien, and she knows that Chat, and therefore, Adrien, loves her. But she can't tell him her identity yet. However, her knowing his identity would make sense. I remember that before season 4 started airing, a lot of the fandom wondered if Chat was going to have to reveal his identity to her because she's the guardian. After all, that would make sense. Them making it a problem over the course of the season would mean that it would have to be handled in some way. I think that her finding out Chat's identity is probably the most logical course of action, as she can't be a good guardian until she has all the information at her disposal.
There are two specific lines which I find interesting in the finale synopsis. The part where it says, "Papillombre (Shadow Moth) conceives a diabolical plan around a super villain endowed with the power to push his victims to take all risks," is particularly interesting. This could mean a couple of things. Shadow Moth could be akumatizing Felix - after all, he stopped at nothing to try and replace Adrien in order to ruin his relationship with his friends. He kissed Ladybug when she told him no. He was snooping in Adrien's things. Clearly, there was nothing he wasn't willing to do in order to get the ring back. (This whole thing is never explained either after Felix - why is the ring so important?) Maybe that will make a comeback? Or, the "his" in the synopsis where it specifies that the villain has no limits, may be referring to Shadowmoth. In that situation, it could be Lila who is again akumatized. She has clearly no limits, as she's working for Shadow Moth willingly, and likely knows his identity. This is one likely scenario. Or Shadowmoth will akumatize Adrien. He may feel detached, and Gabriel will interpret it as being sad that he's being taken away from all of his friends. Adrien is known for being quite stubborn, and having Ladybug fight Adrien's akumatized state would be season finale material. However, if he is akumatized in the finale as something else, then the Chat Blanc akumatization in episode 22 is unlikely (they wouldn't do something like that twice in a row). Of course, his akumatized state would be different than Chat Blanc because people can be akumatized into multiple different villains and Hawkie doesn't know that Adrien=Chat Noir.
The second line that I find particularly interesting is this one:
And will Adrien take the risk to finally stand up to his father?
Now, why would Adrien stand up to his father? Maybe with literally everyone betraying him, he'll find no reason to stay. He needs a constant in his life, and telling his father that he needs him to be here for him may be a step that he makes. After all, Ladybug and him are having their biggest fight, his best friend Nino told him that he finds his hero persona absolutely abhorrent, and he doesn't feel like he has a place on the superhero team. He needs someone, and he's hoping that Gabriel can be that person.
That could be one scenario, or Adrien may find out about Hawkie's basement. Now, this, could raise a lot of questions for him. While I believe that Adrien would have the normal tendency to be like "father, what the hell." He may honestly believe that this is all he has left, and therefore, will assist his father. This takes me back to the season 2 opening card.
Where is Chat Noir? With the villains.
Maybe Adrien will have his well deserved Dark!Chat Noir arc. Or maybe, he'll be a spy for the Quantic team. Ladybug and him will make up, and he'll tell her that he can spy on Hawkie for the team, and that's how they move into season 5 - with Adrien as a double agent. He will help his father in everything that he does, and therefore, get access to more information that he can share with the team. He can help establish a meeting for Hawk Moth to get caught, with evidence, by planting cameras, calling police, etc.
Honestly, I'm hoping for the latter subplot, as I don't want Chat Noir to go evil for everyone's sakes. I do think that the latter would also give him a cementable role that would logistically make sense and help establish him as an strong character, and more importantly, a valuable member of the team and Ladybug's true partner.
Or, they could go down the more simpler route, and choose Adrien to find out, be shocked, and then yell at his father for being who he is. Gabriel just assumes because Adrien is only just Adrien, he doesn't have to worry about him. He will threaten Adrien, and Adrien will stay silent in front of him, but tell the team on the side. Of course, this doesn't really mean double agent Adrien, but it still implies spy Adrien. It also still manages to make his character more relevant.
Regardless, there's a lot of different ways that line could go, and I'm excited to see where it moves on from there.
Implications on the Love Square
The love square seems entirely messed up this season. There is almost nothing going on in relation to it, especially in regards to Ladynoir, Ladrien, and Marichat. Adrienette has honestly the most action right now, especially with the reverse umbrella scene, them helping out Juleka together, etc. This leads me to think that while we'll get a lot of Ladynoir in the finale as they repair their relationship, Adrienette may be the strongest ship of the four when moving into season 5. Let me explain why.
Over the course of this entire season, Adrien has been getting closer to Marinette, and is honestly more warm with her than he has been with Ladybug. This can explain what everyone has been thinking - a reverse love square. Even if Ladybug and him make up, Chat may honestly want to go and see other people. This includes Mari. What Nino said about Ladybug finding him annoying may actually really affect him and his feelings and make him realize that he can find love elsewhere. It's also the fact that it was enunciated twice during Rocketear that Alya couldn't fall in love with someone that she didn't really know. That could lead Adrien to wonder if he really knows Ladybug, which will definitely complicate his feelings. The Kagami thing was never going to work out, so he just needs to find someone else who cares for him. He knows Marinette; he has called her similar to Ladybug - he may rebound from Ladybug to Marinette. Ladybug may realize that she messed up, and she has already shown that she is becoming more indifferent to dating Adrien, due to what happened with Luka. When she and Chat Noir fix their relationship, she may see him as the only person she doesn't have to lie to, and therefore thinks about pursuing a relationship with him. Therefore, a reverse love square would make the most sense in this situation.
If a ship were to start actually dating in season 5 - it may honestly depend on how the finale is. The two most likely ships imo are either Ladynoir or Adrienette. If Ladynoir makes up during the finale, then the barriers to them dating aren't really present, unless the Alya thing actually makes it complicated for them. Adrienette may get together, but Marinette is wary of dating because she's Ladybug. However, we all know she's weak in the knees for Adrien and will definitely say yes if he asked her out.
Therefore, I feel like this season is leaning more towards plot and character development, and while it may set some things up for season 5, it is important to pay attention at the little shifts in the square, because they are happening right in front of us.
Alya and Marinette
I wanted to be able to talk about this at some point in this theory, but since everything else is more Adrien centric, I added it here at the end. Okay, so we know that Alya is lying to Marinette about telling Nino things. We also know that Alya has bended the rules for Nino multiple times, both before and during Rocketear. This could go one of two ways: Alya telling Nino teaches Marinette that she needs to be able to trust Chat, and therefore helps her realize that she doesn't need to be so secretive and lie all the time. It could also lead to a plot where Alya basically messed up largely by telling Nino, and everything goes downhill from there. Ladybug shows Chat that they can't know each other's identities because of what happened with them. We also Nino is a bit of a blabbermouth - love his character, but he is. He told Adrien not only his identity, but also Alya's. He also told him that they know the other's identity. This is bad, and Adrien knowing definitely affects the plot later on. If Adrien ends up revealing himself to Ladybug, it is likely that she'll find out about Nino saying that, and having to revoke their kwamis. This could lead to a strained relationship with Alya. In fact, it is likely that at this point, Marinette will already have a strained relationship with Alya, as it could be revealed that Alya told Nino about Rena Furtive. This could lead to Ladybug being defensive and worried that she made mistakes, and literally just closing the Miraculous box because of it. Maybe Alya will go rogue? After all, it was mentioned in Rocketear (and I appreciate that they talked about this) how Alya was a reporter and that by extension means that her personality is one of a truthteller. Alya getting angry at Mari could definitely lead to a situation where she threatens to tell he everyone. I don't think Alya would or could do that, but anger leads to akumatization, and an akumatized Alya would not be good for anyone as her judgement would be impaired. Regardless, Rena Furtive may be a short time hero, and Mari and Alya may end the season in a fight. I don't see that being resolved in the finale, as no fight like that is mentioned in those episodes. There is also simply too much going on in the finale for it to make sense. It may be resolved later on, just like how other problems in season 3 started being solved in the beginning of season 4. Or, it could be fought out and resolved in episodes 23 and 24.
Therefore, I think that the Nino carelessly revealing his identity and Alya carelessly disregarding Ladybug's orders may lead to a plotpoint at some point where Alya and Ladybug fight. While I do think that it would be nice if Alya proved Ladybug wrong and showed that they were stronger for working together, I do not think it's likely. The show was deliberate in showing that Alya had a weakness for Nino, and has shown before that it has led to many situations where there were risks for everyone involved. Even Hawkmoth said that love and secrets don't go well together (is he talking from experience?), and I feel like that was so deliberate, but it could also be alluding to Chat and Ladybug. (Side note: it was so weird for Hawk Moth to say that, as he had no idea of the situation; regardless I do think this it's heavy foreshadowing.) Therefore, I do not think the situation that Alya has placed herself in is a situation which will have a peaceful ending.
Final Notes:
I personally cannot wait for the "Gabriel Agreste" episode. I think that the fact that we did not get it yet means that it has serious story implications. Personally, I believe it's going to explain allllll the backstory we need for the whole Bourgeois/Tsurugi/Agreste history and tell us why Emilie is the way she is right now. Of course, maybe it won't do everything, but the fact that it is named after Gabriel makes me wonder if it'll be his origins episode of sorts.
EDIT AFTER MEGA LEECH: IF GABRIEL AGRESTE REVEALS ADRIEN TO BE A SENTIMONSTER I WILL BE SO SO EXCITED BC ANGST BUT ALSO LIKE??? WHAT ABOUT THE PLOT? WHAT ABOUT THE NINE YEAR OLDS?
Chat snapping is honestly something that I cannot wait for. All of his anger has been building up over the entire season thus far, and the implications of his feelings are definitely serious for the show's plot.
I wonder if Mayura will be making a comeback at some point. While this is less relevant, Nathalie's health seems to be making her bedridden for a long time. Maybe she'll return to a similar state to Emilie? I saw theories that stated that if Hawkie gets his wish, Nathalie's life may be sacrificed for Emilie's, and idk, I think it's not likely that it'll happen, but it would be cool if it did. The ultimate payback for his actions being the loss of Nathalie.
Look at the end card of Rocketear:
He's looking at the moon, which was shown in New York to be something he does when he's sad. Also possible reference to him destroying the moon in Chat Blanc.
Kitty do be on a roof all alone without his lady :(
#nino lahiffe#adrien agreste#ladynoir#miraculous ladybug#the reveal#chat noir#marinette dupain cheng#alya cesaire#rena rouge#rena furtive#carapace#rocketear#gabriel agreste#hawkmoth#ml spoilers#alynino#alynette#shadowmoth#adrinino#sentibubbler#nathalie sanco#mayura#ml season 4#mlm#miraculous ladybug theory#ml theory#chat blanc#miraculous reveal#poor adrien :(#he really do be getting the short end of the stick here
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I would say you're half right with the littles thing but let me give you my definitions. I will also give definitions of a couple other things not mentioned here.
Littles: They're alters that appear young in some way, such as mentally, physically or emotionally. They are usually split off from childhood memories or trauma, and are alters stuck in that moment in childhood. While this is not always the case, and can be split past childhood, as can any alter, littles usually hold the memory and feelings of the psychological "inner child".
Persecutor: This is a trauma holder that cannot cope with the trauma, so they harm themselves, the system or other people. Not all Persecutors become protectors after healing.
Protector: This an alter, usually a trauma holder, that protects the system from facing or experiencing more trauma. They will usually front when the system is triggered negatively in some way.
Gatekeeper: Gatekeepers are those who can control switching, take away memories, and often control the innerworld in some way. Gatekeepers gatekeep memories. They are usually the ones with the highest access to the full system and all the body's memories. Not all gatekeepers control switching, but may instead control groups of alters or parts of the innerworld.
Caretaker: These are alters who take care of the littles or other vulnerable alters. They comfort and make sure alters feel safe. Technically this can be considered a protector, but Caretakers don't have to be trauma holders most of the time.
For all of these, they are not archetypes but alter roles or jobs. Like the host, most alters with a role have a duty to uphold in their system, that's all.
I assume you mean OSDD or DDNOS?? I have never seen "OODD" being used. OSDD means Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder. OSDD-1 means its a system that lacks a specific requirement for it to be DID. Like dissociative amnesia or elaborated alters. Those who believe they lack dissociative amnesia, often find out later on that they do have it, but are instead polyfragmented systems.
Polyfragmented System/C-DID: Is a type of system who has complex splitting patterns and complex organization within their system. C being "complex". These are systems with usually a ton of fragments and complex alters. Fragments being alters who aren't fully formed, and complex alters, usually made up of at least two different alters in one. They also have a low splitting tolerance, meaning they often split at the slightest stressor.
RAMCOA: RA means Ritual Abuse, MC means Mind Control, and OA means Organized Abuse. This often refers to trauma survivors who have faced these horrific acts, and probably have been programmed in some way. Think of victims of cults or similar. Facing this kind of abuse is what causes many trauma survivors to have a complex experience and can cause many unique things to happen to them. Those with RAMCOA trauma often use the term "highly complex DID/HC-DID" to describe their experience, but it does fit under polyfragmentation regardless.
In general, just a bunch of system jargon. It's quite easy to get the hang of, though.
Is there anyone out there willing to give me a DID dictionary so I can understand all these terms a little better? Some I can assume (littles being the children in a system) but others I don't quite get. Prosecutor, protector, trauma holder, I assume are personality "archetypes". I also don't know what OODD (DODD?) RAMCOA, or what a ton of acronyms are. I have always struggled with remembering acronyms
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Along with recs for IF with ROs who are fat, do you have any recs for games that allow the MC to be fat or of different builds? I'm finding you can specify the MC's height in every game I've tried or bought, but not the build. And thank you for the post about fatness and IF, it meant a lot when I read it earlier.
honestly i don't know any off the top of my head. i'm pretty out of the IF loop (if it wasn't clear with how many games i had to go back in and add on that list hahahaha) and haven't read a lot of the newer games that are out right now.
i definitely recommend going through the notes and tags on the original post because a couple of authors do talk about it in their reblogs.
i feel like from an author's perspective i understand why it's probably not a common feature in IF. being text based it allows people more freedom when envisioning their character rather than restricting it to a combination of presets, like in a lot of video games. and the easiest way to allow people that freedom is to just be vague, and letting the reader fill in the gaps. without visuals the reader does all the work. i know that was my intention when i made the character creator in TNP, and that's been the standard in IF for the most part, i think.
i have changed my cc quite a bit since the beginning, particularly with the hair & chest options, but overall i still don't think i get //too// specific, simply because i don't want to restrict the player. height options only exist to compare with the ROs (and i know how people love their height differences lmao) but i think i've only used it once or twice and only with lea and clem, so the tallest and the shortest. height difference is a massive romance trope and i am almost certain that's why height options are literally always included in most IF.
i think there are aspects of a cc that should be more specific - like having diverse hair options that are inclusive of natural Black hair, a variety of skin colors (if you choose to mention skin color), and choices involving personal identity and gender expression. if body options are included, then you need to make sure you're representing all bodies. i think there are authors that choose not to specify simply because there are a lot of complexities in both personal identity and body image and it really is hard to understand everything through one choice in a game, and authors would rather keep the player comfortable, not make any assumptions, and just let the player imagine what they want, if that makes sense.
and i think that //can// work, but the author still has to really make the effort to not make any other kind of assumptions about the mc based on their personal biases. and on the other hand, if you do have specific choices, then you need to make the effort to ensure your representing them correctly, rather than just throwing them in there only to never reference them again. anyways i just wanted to share my take on it because i genuinely don't think the lack of this choice so far in IF has been intentionally malicious, but rather an attempt to be more inclusive than visual media.
but !!!! it's not the best way to be inclusive. being specific and making deliberate choices, in my opinion, is always the better option than just avoiding specifying anything at all. and i think including diverse body options is something that can go a long way, both in making more people feel included and also helping other people realize that there is no "default."
and now writing all this out it made me realize i've made the mistake of "defaulting" the mc myself, literally in the last update. the hunter ends up wearing merry's jacket, but merry is tall and thin and while the jacket is oversized on her it's simply not possible for it to be able to magically fit every mc. having body options might have prevented me from doing that, since it's something i already would have put thought into earlier in the game.
#sorry for the long answer i just think talking abt this stuff is interesting#if you've been here for a while you all know i'm annoying and never shut up even when i say im going to so <3#and yeah this is making me consider adding body options to TNP now#ask#mybookswerealltome
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If you're doing requests cause I really don't know uhhh... Shinobu x reader who's loud and brash????
Sure :)) [made it gender neutral just in case]
Shinobu x Gn Reader
(warnings : cussing, mentions of blood/gore ig and just anime spoilers)
(Role not specified for the reader, i.e the rank in demon slayer)
> The one thing that caught Shinobu's eyes during Tanjiro's trial was you, or specifically, your behavior. > Sanemi 2.0 but kinda more passive > So you were injured from the fight and had to be treated by Shinobu > She already dreaded it > You lay on a bed in a separate room from those three demon slayers > "HOW MANY MORE DAYS IS THIS GOING TO TAKE? I'M GETTING THE PREMIUM FEELING OF A CORPSE!" > Not a very colorful choice of words but you couldn't care less > Shinobu was right near the door with a smile on her face but irk marks on her forehead > "Maybe if you didn't act so rash, you wouldn't be here Y/N." Smartass Kocho, you sneered. > "Then I would have died, witty girl!" Your tone definitely went down but not the venom in your words. > Gods help her, she had to put up with your pettiness. > but you enjoyed getting treated by a beautiful lady :) If that all wasn't already bad enough, she was assigned a mission with you. 'Ridiculous!' She thought. You both were already on your way to fight those nasty demons. But the thing was, you suddenly quieted down. That sent the butterfly clip girl into a deep sadness. Oh no, oh no. Did she actually enjoy this rowdy manner of yours?
Well, the degradation that spewed out of your mouth were in a way smart. Not that she'd admit it, of course.
A demon appeared before you as you took a stance to kill it with your katana. Your nichirin blade shun in the moonlight alarming the demon that your partner and you were armed.
"Ah, demon slayers here to kill me! What a pleasure that I'm recognized." It grinned, showing it's bloody teeth. It devoured a human, huh?
"You won't even last long to revel in those feelings, stinky jerk!" You yelled and charged in aggressively using your breathing style. Shinobu decided to help you. The demon didn't last long.
The fight was over quickly but Shinobu's heart didn't slow down. She wondered if you could hear it. "ANY OTHER DEMONS IN THERE?" Your loudness was back but this time the other girl let it slide. Maybe your voice can out-sound the one of her pacing heart.
> That was when she realized she dug quite a big hole for herself > There was no way that she had a crush on someone as loud, obnoxious and brash like you but here we are
But hey, she soon discovered that there are good things about you too! Like being protective over Nezuko/Kanao because she's cute :))
You'd go, "I SWEAR IF YOU LAY A FINGER ON HER, I'LL RIP YOUR HEAD OUT!" (obviously they weren't meant for Sanemi-)
> Shinobu has many butterflies in her backyard but now it's in her stomach (that's gross, ngl)
She looks forward to see you. Her heart skips a beat when she catches you smiling. Her heart leaps out of joy when you initiate a talk with her. That totally goes normal, no noise pollution.
But overall, she seems to have fallen for you as much as you have for her. Now get the guts and confess.
> she's amazing > there to heal you > she opens up to you > you tell her your story too (if any) > even Kanao speaks to you even if it's just a word > Aoi seems to tolerate you for Shinobu's sake > and the little girls call you [aneki/aniki/Y/N-san]
Such a fitting couple. The kind one and the rash one. Or perhaps the quick witted one and the obnoxious one. Opposites do attract then.
Hey, thanks for the request! Sorry for the late reply, but I hope you like it (?)
It might not be what you wanted tho-
Requests are open :,)
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It's Ángel time let's goooo
What is his favorite food? What is his dressing style? Does he care much about it or just pulls on the first shirt he finds in his closet and is good to go? What does he like about his appearance and is there anything he'd like to change? And I know he never really got a chance to hear it, but what is his stance on music? Does he enjoy it (when he has a chance to listen to it?) Would he like to learn how to play any instrument or sing or dance? What is the biggest crime he had committed? >:3 And last but not least does he drink coffee and how does it work on him?
ÁNGEL!!! You know I love him so much :') Thank you so much for the asks!
Favourite food.
First of all, Ángel is a fantastic cook! His mother left Avalor when she got divorced with Ángel's father, and Señor Suarez may be very busy with his work, so Ángel stays at home alone sometimes, which made him quite independent and helped him to learn how to do some things on his own, including cooking.
He has a thing for spicy food, so take any random Latin American spicy dish, and it definitely will be something he enjoys (honestly, I just don't want to specify anything, because I'm afraid to seem stereotypical ×)) and he also loves corn
Dressing style.
Even though Ángel is not the neatest and the most organized person, he loves comfort and cares about his look a lot, so he would rather be late for school/any other meeting than look like he's just gotten out of his bed.
I can imagine him being stylish and wearing something fancy (like vests, maybe ornaments, but really, I don't know). I can't think of anything specific, honestly, sorry about that (anyway, he's definitely not Gabe who wears just different kinds of uniforms ×))
Appearance.
To get started, a little bit about his appearance (I never described it in my fic, because honestly, I don't know how to describe appearance in fiction ×)): he's got dark brown curly hair, amber eyes, and dark skin. Out of some unique physical traits, he has lots of freckles, both on his face and shoulders, and dimple on the chin. Plus, he has a very expressive face, so he's got a plenty of the facial wrinkles, even at the young age (sure, they're not that noticeable, but still).
He's got a thinner physique than Gabe, but since he's a fencer, he doesn't look completely skinny (like Mateo, for example), plus he's a bit taller than him (and by saying "a bit", I actually mean "a bit". Not taller than for five centimeters, but it nonetheless gives him some reason to tease Gabe ×))
And not about an appearance, but he's a left-handed person.
What comes to traits he likes about himself, he likes his freckles and eyes :3 And the thing he'd like to change is his hair. It grows super fast and, since he has curls, it gets tangled very easily. Although, he doesn't think we will ever straighten it since he inherited the curls from his mother.
Stance on music.
Okay, it might be a little spoiler for Ángel's arc in my Gabe fic, but I can say music is actually an important part of his life (it's connected with his past and future at some point). Ángel occasionally thinks that he doesn't really fit to be born in Avalor as, during Shuriki's reign, it wasn't really a happy place to live, which is quite opposite to Ángel's cheerful personality. So, when he got a chance to hear the music (yes, he actually would), he would have a strong supporting position to it as it's something that he genuinely enjoys and finds so close to him. And I think he especially enjoys the sound of accordion and trumpet.
Musical instruments, singing, dancing.
He definitely would love to learn something of it! And maybe even all of it! He wouldn't be a professional musician, singer, or dancer, as he doesn't want to make a big deal out of his hobbies (the same for fencing), but he nonetheless would enjoy doing it a lot.
The biggest crime.
Actually, Ángel is still a huge cheater when it comes to the school tests and other works. Sure, he wouldn't ask Gabe for it anymore, but it doesn't bother him to cheat without his help (his personality is actually not that angelic, but forgive him, please ×))
Anyway, on more serious note (and if you allow me to steal it ×)), him attending the secret concerts during Shuriki's reign. Although, I can say it actually guided him a lot and even helped him to figure out some things about his life and wishes.
Coffee.
Honestly, I headcanon Gabe as a big coffee lover, but as for Ángel, he's quite indifferent to it. He doesn't like its actual taste, so would be able to drink it only with a huge amount of sugar and milk. Although, Gabe sometimes jokes that with Ángel's broken sleep schedule, coffee would be only in handy ×)
Thank you so much again, Blue!! Ángel is actually my favourite among my OCs, so it was really fun to tell some more about him, even though I think I said more than you asked ×)
OC questions. (Actually, those questions weren't from this game, but if anyone else wants to ask me about my OCs, feel free to either follow the game questions, or ask anything else you're curious about)
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Whumptober 2021
Prompt(s): 08. exotic illness, 10. ice chips, 24. flashbacks
Fandom: MCU
Ship: winterhawk
Extra: @miii-chaaan I made an extra chapter for the hanahaki disease fic, focusing on what I left open in the actual fic.... Unfortunately that fic calls for neverending cliffhangers so dive in it carefully. I've spent the past 3 days working on it, but after October I'll probably go and fix mistakes and typos and post it properly.
Strange as it might be, Winter dreamed. He could hardly remember those dreams when he woke up, they felt distorted and distant, but they were there. He also knew dreams were a side effect of his time out of cryo freeze, and he didn't exactly mind them. More time to spend with the team? He'd take even the most gruesome nightmares for that.
His dreams were hardly nightmares, the little things he remembered. There were people, people Winter knew, he was sure of that, familiar faces in familiar places, he just couldn't grasp them long enough to keep them in his mind.
There was one thing recurring, over and over. Purple flowers blossoming in a snowy landscape. Winter blamed the curse that almost killed Jack for that. And he feared those dreams sometimes, fearing he would see the snow turn bloody red and melt, and those beautiful flowers who now he had planted in the compound garden with jack, wilt and die. It never happened, but dreams were beyond human's control, maybe one day it will. Winter dreaded that day.
"isn't there someone else you love?"
Clint chuckled, petals slipping out of his mouth like he had just swallowed a handful as a dare, to see how much he could fit in his mouth. Darcy felt her lips tremble. She liked him, and not because he technically was her boss, she actually liked him, as a human. Bit of a disaster but nice, caring. She saw how caring he was toward strike alpha. How protective.
"No Darce, I told you already. James, James, and only James."
"but you also said he's gone. Wouldn't he want you to move on and love someone?"
Oh, yes. Yes his James would. But gone had many meanings, and not always it was death.
"I tried." he admitted. "I really tried, but..."
He held the necklace with the dog tags and the ring between them, close enough she could see, far enough she wouldn't be able to read the last name on it. Too many questions to answer afterward.
"must have been quite amazing." darcy finally said, here smile didn't quite reach her eyes, but Clint smiled back anyway. Yeah, his James was truly amazing.
Jay yawned and settled in Winter's arms as he quietly rocked him to sleep. Clint couldn't help but smile at that.
"you're great with kids, Winter."
"I... I think I had a child, once... Or something. A small kid."
Winter blinked a couple of times, the memory was there indeed, a dark haired boy running around a safe house. A kid looking up at him in wonder and love. Clint's smile faltered an instant, something like hope flashed in his eyes. Maybe, just maybe... But Winter said nothing else and he didn't pressed.
"well, you're good, Winter."
He nodded, smiled at Clint. There was something about that, about the archer, something Winter felt drawn to, he just couldn't explain what.
"you good Clint?" Brock asked slipping away from the rest and outside to the archer.
"oh, yeah... Yeah I'm good Leo." he smiled, sadly. "I'm good. Why do you--"
"papa-- James. He kind of remembers some things, sometimes... Like the kid. Me." Clint chuckled.
"still calling him papa, mh? That's kinda cute you know?" then he coughed.
"you said it wasn't catching."
Darcy almost yelped, almost. She turned and tried to look surprised, but there was something in Brock's eyes...
"I said I don't think it's contagious..." she specified, looking away.
"did you know?"
"I... No. I noticed someth--"
Brock gave a small, bitter laughter and she fell silent again.
"you're such a bad liar, Darcy." she swallowed. That wasn't good in their job, in their, her new position. Definitely not good.
"he asked me to keep it quiet." she admitted looking at her hands.
"yeah... Bet he did it."
"I'm not lying!"
"I know. And I know him." there was something darcy was unsure of in his voice. Resignation.
Clint shivered and curled under the blankets. He felt his body burning no more than five minutes before, and now he was freezing. Not to mention the pounding headache that made him feel like he had a live heavy metal band in his skull. Nor the choking feeling that made him clear his throat every couple of minutes.
It was mostly the cold in that moment. And the fact that he was thirsty. And his legs too heavy to leave the bed and go to the kitchen and grab some water only to choke on it like the last time he drank.
He rolled over in the bed, dragging the blankets as he moved and noticed the figure standing awkwardly on the door.
"hey... Something's wrong?" he asked, pushing himself up as much as the blanket's cocoon allowed him to.
"yes." winter walked inside with a bowl in hand, he kneeled by the bed and looked at clint's reddened cheeks. "you're sick."
Clint smiled and shivered again.
"yeah... Caught a bit of cold I guess."
"cold doesn't make you vomit blood."
Clint wanted to laugh, but that would make him cough, and flowers and blood come up.
"did you catch what lieutenant Rollins had?"
His voice sounded small and scared, nothing compared to the fearsome winter soldier, but Clint knew that voice. It felt both painful and comforting now.
"perhaps I did."
He smiled, but Winter didn't. His hand went to Clint's forehead, down to his cheeks, his fingers stopped a moment longer over his lips before moving to the neck. Gentle, careful, familiar. Clint remembered a time when James fingers would trace his face and body, when his eyes were soft and loving.
"you're burning up. Lieutenant Rollins didn't end up with a fever. Your lips are dry."
He took an ice chip from the bowl and hold it to his mouth.
"this will help... Or so Specialist Jenkins said."
Clint let the ice melt slowly in his mouth. It wasn't like drinking a whole glass, but somehow it was better. He wouldn't choke on it hopefully.
"is there anything I can do?"
Clint blinked, Winter slid another ice chip between his lips, he almost said yes. He almost said "please love me". He almost said "please, remember me".
"can you hold me?" Clint asked. "I feel so cold, could you---"
Leaving the bowl on the night stand Winter climbed in the bed behind him, he snuggled close and wrapped Clint in his arms before pulling the blankets on them.
"thank you Winter..." clint whispered, closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep, his back against his strong chest, feeling the heart beat against his skin and his arms around him. He closed his eyes and dreamed he was back in his James' arms. It would be so easy if he was, Clint would not be sick, for a start, he would roll over and hug him back, he would curl over him, his head carefully placed under james' chin. Everything would be so much easier.
Winter didn't sleep, he mentally counted the minutes passing, he counted the heartbeats and the shaky breaths. He was right, Jack didn't end up with a fever, but how long did the Hawk hid that from them? Since he came to rescue Jack? It had been months since then. Somehow this sickness took hold slower on him, but it didn't go easier. Perhaps the fever was something not related, just a bit of cold as he said. Winter didn't like it anyway, he saw what it did to Jack, he saw what almost happened, how weak and frail and helpless it made him before they fixed it.
Wipe after wipe Winter forgot of them, everytime, his mind was blank and it existed only orders and mission, but the Hawk was adamant in letting him stay out of cryo freeze, away from the Chair unless it was absolutely necessary, Winter heard him talk with Alexander Pierce once, he sounded angry and scary, dangerous.
"it's the old way. I know what I'm doing." he said. Winter didn't know what that old way was, but it felt familiar. He didn't know if he really managed to convince the man with just words or if part of it laid in the pocket knife he saw him play with and in the coldness of his eyes.
Winter couldn't understand, but laying in bed like that, spooning him, holding him close felt more familiar than anything. He couldn't place it but it was something he wanted to remember, to keep in his mind. And yet it also felt like it was there already.
Clint coughed. He trembled in his hold and coughed harder, blood trickled from the corner of his mouth and the choking feeling woke him up. He fought the arms wrapped around him, bent out of the bed and tried to free his airway with more powerful coughs. Winter was still there behind him, he felt him move, hold him from the shoulders, his hand caressing the sweaty forehead and the hair plastered to it.
It took long, endless minutes before cough subsided and Clint slumped against him. He gently pressed something cold, more ice chips, against his lips.
"you're alright... You'll be alright." he murmured against his shoulder, still holding him close. Clint weakly lifted a hand and brushed the fingers through his long hair.
"yeah James... You're here, of course I will..." before Winter could ask him who this James was, Clint was unconscious on him.
James, Winter thought, cleaning his face from the blood and laying him down again, James was familiar too. Maybe someone he used to know? One of the team from before? Maybe... Maybe if he found that James, the young Hawk would be alright.
"commander..."
Winter stood on attention, waiting for rumlow to turn around, and yet his voice was hesitant.
"what is it Winter?"
"specialist Barton, sir. He's... He's sick." Brock sighed and turned.
"yes, he.. Yes. What about that Winter?"
"he mentioned someone while being delirious. A name, James. - he didn't notice rumlow swallow again. - I thought maybe if we find that person he will..."
"winter." rumlow said, and he stood on attention again, arms stiff against his side, hands closed in fists. "there's no James to find. Don't bother."
"but--"
"enough. Dismissed, Soldat."
Winter gave a quick nod of the head, swiftly turned and left the room.
Rumlow took a shuddering breath, a small, choked sob escaping his throat. He almost wished Winter disobeyed, he knew he wouldn't.
It wasn't the last time Clint said the name around Winter, it slipped out sometimes, when the sickness was unbearable for him, or the fever too high, he always said the name in such a sweet tone that Winter felt a pang in his chest, he almost wished it was his name he-- no. No, he couldn't think that, he reprimanded himself. And yet he wanted to be close to Clint, he liked having him around, he liked the trust he seemed to have in him, the way he asked to be held event though Winter could easily harm him. There was something... Something. Something laying there, in the back of his mind, fuzzy and distorted, wrapped in a bubble and showed further and further. There was--
One day Clint coughed, and he stumbled, he fell to his knees, vomiting blood over the floor. Blood and purple flowers, like it happened before. Except he didn't stop, he couldn't stop. He clawed at his own throat and gasped and choked. The room was in uproar, screams and hands trying to help him, to held him up, voices begging for-- for something, for help.
Winter felt frozen. He couldn't move, he couldn't think, he felt like his body wasn't his anymore, he felt pain, sharp, piercing, stabbing him in the chest, through the heart. He felt himself falling, from a train, from a plane, falling falling falling--
"good shot, he says!"
"have you seen that, Soldat?"
Laughter echoing in the silence of a snowy land, a snowmobile humming to life, speeding, a room with white walls and a table and a bed, an IV line with a light blue liquid on one side and red blood on the other.
"James! Oh, please, James!"
Flickering colored lights, a Christmas tree and some little packets in colorful paper wrap under it, wooden floors, little feet scrambling through the rooms.
"papa!"
"my. My James, I think I love you."
Fireworks. Purple flowers, fingers intertwined.
"how long did it take us?"
"enough. Does it matter? We're here."
Here. Winter felt tears fall, he shook his head, the voices overlapped in his mind, Clint's arms gave out, he fell, caught in the commanders arms, turned on his back, his face so pale, the blood so red coming from his mouth. He barely gasped anymore, he shivered, his eyes rolled back in his head.
Winter's arm hurt suddenly, an old gun wound aching painfully. Blue eyes, clear as the sky, a smile he loved so dearly, falling further from him. His feet moved before his brain could catch up with the order, he dropped on his knees next to clint's body, he didn't have to fight the commander when he gathered him in his arms, rumlow gave a pained whine, a sound that felt like a stab. Barton trembled just slightly, gurgled, he tried to clean his mouth, uselessly.
"are you alright, Little Hawk?"
A kid, with blue eyes cold as ice, and a bow in hand. A grin on his face, like he pulled the best prank ever. Laughters, more laughter.
"I trust you James. You and no one else."
"I have no name. No past."
Flashcards, spread over the blankets, a small voice copying his pronunciation. Growing stronger, better, familiar, almost native.
"you will shape the century."
"what happened, my Clint?"
"I did my duty."
"mission report."
"don't ask, James. Don't."
"mission report, December 16th."
Snow. Sun. Flower. Wild. Shine. Sleep. White.
"yastreb. It means Hawk. It'll be your name from now on."
Yastreb.
Winter choked a sob, he bent over until his forehead touched clint's, he grasped at his sleeve weakly, his mouth moving without a spund, Winter knew what he was saying anyway, he nodded without knowing if he could see him or not, tears falling and mixing with the blood.
"it's alright..." he murmured, softly, broken, almost desperate. "shhh.. It's--" he sniffled, kissed his head, clint's hand let go of the sleeve slowly.
"flowers bloom beneath the snow."
He whispered in Russian, words flowing like a prayer, soft and quiet. Clint went limp in his hold.
#whumptober2021#No.8#No.10#No.24#Exotic illness#Ice chips#Flashbacks#Marvel#Fic#Emeto tw#Blood tw#Winterhawk#Hanahaki disease#A little sequel to the hydra husbands fic on ao3#Mentions of winter soldier Clint au#Open ending#Aki writes
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