#but i love everything about this version of the riddler so far

[esperata]

Recommended reads

There's a lot of different Batman media and I've written versions of riddlebird for many of them. I've selected one of my stories from each fandom to hopefully give people a taste of the variety. Expect more to be added as I write for new shows or old ones I haven't got to yet.

Batman (1966) Sixties - G - Words: 4,385 As the years go on the invites turn from weddings to baby showers to funerals. In their line of work though, Penguin and Riddler consider themselves lucky to have made it thus far together. (Old Married Couple) (Wakes & Funerals)

Batman - All Media Types Minesweeper - G - Words: 269 Batman had finally navigated the typical Riddler labyrinth but what he finds isn't exactly what he expects. (Gamer Ed) (Sleepy Penguin) (Fluff)

Batman: Arkham (Video Games) Arkham Games - E - Words: 19,477 Factions are at play backing Penguin into a corner. And if that wasn't enough to be dealing with, he also has to fathom whatever is going on between him and Riddler. (Canon-Typical Violence) (Homophobic Language) (Sexual Tension) (Friends With Benefits) (except not really friends) (Stubborn Denial) (Hand Jobs) (Blow Jobs) (Frottage) (Semi-Public Sex) (Masturbation) (Rough Sex) (Anal Sex)

Batman: Caped Crusader Homme d'affaires - T - Words: 5,697 Edward Nashton just needs to land a big sale. What he finds is a whole other world of possibility. (salesman) (Implied/Referenced Torture) (Choking)

Batman (Comics) The Mind Is A Fragile Thing - G - Words: 2,454 Riddler is undergoing treatment in Arkham and Penguin is not happy about it. (Bruce Wayne) (Arkham Asylum) (Mental Health Issues)

Batman (Movies 1989-1997) Anything Yours Can Do - T - Words: 1,954 Helping Batman out was supposed to be a bit of fun. So how did she end up arguing with Riddler over who had the best lover? (Arguing) (Bragging) (Relationship Comparisons) (BatCat) (Guess which wins)

Batman Ninja (2018) Ridorā Kitsune - G - Words: 2,830 When Penguin is brought with several others to ancient Japan by an experiment gone wrong, he has a wealth of things to concern him. Not least of which is what precisely might have happened to Riddler. (Japan) (Canon time travel) (Friendly Kidnapping)

Batman: The Animated Series Do You Mind? - T - Words: 36,330 The tale of how Penguin and Riddler met, became friends, and then something more. "Words are easy, like the wind; faithful friends are hard to find." (Canon Compliant) (Arkham Asylum) (The Iceberg Lounge) (First Meetings) (Friends to Lovers) (Ed Is Oblivious)

Batman: The Brave and the Bold The Brave And The Bold - G - Words: 2,088 Fortune favours the brave, they say, but Riddler is stacking the odds in his favour as he approaches Penguin for a date. (Courtship) (Crimes & Criminals)

Batman: The Telltale Series (Video Games) Bedye Art - G - Words: 1,550 The failure of Penguin's plans had merely been a stumbling block. Now, however, he had a far more pressing concern. (Blackgate Penitentiary) (Canonical Character Death)

Batwheels (Cartoon) In The Air Tonight - T - Words: 2,150 After a heist gone wrong, Penguin and Riddler find themselves trapped with very little to distract them but each other. (Ferris Wheels) (First Kiss)

Batwoman (TV 2019) Little Bird - T - Words: 4,017 Alice has left the city to undergo rehabilatitation in a private establishment run by someone very familiar with the trials faced by those seeking help in Gotham. (long separation) (Presumed Dead)

Gotham (TV) Everything Old Is New Again - G - Words: 9,722 If you had the power to go back in time, what would you hope to change? And would you do it? Those are the questions Edward is facing now he and Oswald are free for the first time in ten years. (Time Travel) (Post-Season/Series 05 Finale) (Sharing a Bed) (Jealous Edward Nygma) (Love Confessions)

Harley Quinn (Cartoon 2019) Groping For Trout In A Peculiar River - T - Words: 2,350 Riddler's attempted seduction of Penguin is curtailed but things aren't quite what they appear. (Misunderstandings) (Flirting) (Awkwardness)

Teen Titans Go! Easy Escape - T - Words: 4,835 Edward is taking Oswald out on a proper date today, whether Arkham likes it or not. (First Dates) (Museums) (Aquariums) (Theatre) (toy shop) (Pier) (Innuendo)

The Batman (Cartoon 2004) Take These Broken Wings - T - Words: 13,508 Riddler has barely escaped the Batman but his trouble might not be over as he runs into another criminal acquaintance. Its a good thing he doesn't have a crush on him or anything otherwise things might get awkward. (Injury) (Hurt/Comfort) (Developing Relationship) (Bathing/Washing) (Gay Oswald Cobblepot) (Bisexual Edward Nygma)

The Batman (Movie 2022) Boss - E - Words: 5,555 In the wake of Gotham's flooding, Ed once again turns up at the Iceberg Lounge. (Anal Sex) (Riding) (Communication)

The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)/LEGO Batman: The Movie - DC Super Heroes Unite (2013) Private Island - T - Words: 8,282 Penguin has got himself a luxury island and his fellow rogues have been invited for a visit. One in particular has an ulterior motive for going though. (Bad Flirting) (Attempted Seduction) (Riddler has a crush) (Jealousy)

[wanderingmind867]

Part 2 of me showing how DC's tend to be more sympathetic or at least more fun (based on me playing Lego DC Supervillians). This time, it's all batman villians:

The Joker: Depends which Joker we're talking about. I mean he's always fun, but he's not always sympathetic. He can be, though. Like those telltale games from a while back (I saw a playthrough of them then bought them years later), they did a sympathetic joker well. But even when he's completely evil, he's just entertaining.

Harley Quinn: Harley Quinn is also sympathetic (usually. I mean, it depends on the interpretation). Usually she's a therapist who was driven to obsession with her patient (the joker), which feels sympathetic. Also, she's usually pretty entertaining (much like the joker himself).

Clayface: There's been like 7 different Clayfaces, but the most famous backstory we see in media is Basil Karlo's. The washed up actor who snaps. And honestly, that's a tragedy itself. Nevermind how he literally turned into what we can only call a monster from a monster movie.

Riddler: Riddler is fun and relatable. I once read his wiki page and still remember the comics origin. He was beaten by his father for being too smart, which bred an Insecurity problem and a deep desire to prove himself.

Scarecrow: I'm easily scared so Scarecrow is easily the villian I'd hate most irl, but he's sympathetic too. Just like a lot of these people, he was abused and bullied as a kid, and it clearly had an ill effect on his mind.

Two-Face: More childhood abuse and bullying. This time enough to cause a split-personality! Also, acid/burn scars so bad you can always see his raw flesh. He's always been the most sympathetic villian to me. I love Two-Face.

Penguin: Some versions of Penguin come from a wealthy household that most everything. The tim burton one was like an abandoned baby raised by actual penguins who eats raw fish. Sometimes he's just a fairly normal gangster. But usually he's pretty sympathetic or at least entertaining.

Catwoman: She seems more stable than a lot of these characters and sometimes I'd even say she's depicted as an anti-hero. But she's usually pretty fun, if not sympathetic.

Poison Ivy: I'm not nearly as pro-environment as her (I suppose I can't be, since I'm not exactly half plant), but she's really just an eco terrorist. She's sympathetic (even if her methods sometimes go too far).

[celaenaeiln]

I always love how heros only kill if there really is no other options. Even then, their deeply disturbed or torn up about it. Killing is easy. But seeing a criminal as a person at the end of the day is much harder. It takes an unfathomable amount of strength to keep this going. It won't always work and it's not easy. But there's a difference between right and easy.

Oh me too!!

Anon you have no idea how much I’ve thought about this over the past five years and come to the same conclusion every time.

There are two reasons why I like that heroes only kill as an extreme necessity.

The first is what you said. It's extremely difficult to be able to control yourself in the face of repulsiveness. Some I do believe are irredeemable but many characters are not worth killing. Because there's a lot that goes into killing. It's not just about moral ethics for me, it's also about how that impacts society. I don't know if you've seen the show "The Boys", but it's about heroes who kill. Originally they kill criminals but at some point their anger and frustration bleeds over and they start killing innocents. The repercussions on society were massive. There was a significant loss of trust and hatred and fear going on. Ordinary people like the main character and the rebel side were dragged into a world and fighting that perpetuated fear and bloodshed until everything became irreversible. It's a terrifying world I would absolutely not want to live in. In the previously posted comic Batman says:

He's not saying this lightly. In a world where killing criminals is done and seen as common place by the people, what's stopping the people from following their hero's actions? Nothing is ever contained on the internet and nothing is ever done in moderation. It's like watching your favorite superhero blast a bad guy's head off on TV and turning around to seeing your mom blast your dad's head off with a gun over an argument about going to the movies. The violence is commonplace, after all. It takes an incredible amount of willpower, far more than anyone gives credit for, to look at someone who hurt you and walk away.

The canon version of this argument and why Bruce should never kill the Joker is proved in the comic, "The Batman Who Laughs." I was terrified for Damian when he encountered that universe.

The second reason I love the no-killing rule- and it's a little more twisted- is because I love self-control.

Not just as a person who tries to practice it in their life but there’s just something so exciting about a character who fights with control.

Having someone run free is super fun to read but having someone who never breaks the line, edge so dangerously close to it, but never kill? Oh the feeling is delicious. You're left pondering-what is it? What will it take? What will cause you to break?

Ironic. I know. But you can't tell me you were never curious about their limits.

Aside from that excitement, I love how the villains are reusable. They may be your worst enemy on a tuesday but on a thursday they're dragging your broken body out of a ditch to go fight the bad guy who got on their nerves.

It's like the idiom- better the devil you know than the devil you don't. Sometimes, no matter how horrible their actions were in the past, they're keeping a larger threat at bay. For example Blockbuster and Heartless. Bane, William Cobb, Lex Luthor, Freeze, Black Manta, and Sinestro in Forever Evil. The Riddler. And when Bruce was dead/lost in time the Joker was straight up like "damn bro I'm so sad I think I'm gonna turn good" which actually sort of saved all of Gotham from that bat cult that nearly killed them. Sort of. He bailed halfway but props to him for the first half.

Also the villains in the comics are terrible people but they're good characters. Like these characters are so well-developed. You'll hate them but you'll never fully hate them because they're funny and mean and deep down, you'll never admit it but they have a small teeny, tiny point.

A couple of my favorite villain scenes:

The Riddler (Batman #699)

Joker (Batman and Robin #22)

Joker

Victor Zsaz in his undies swearing revenge on another villain. Damian and Dick in the photo

Dick bashing up Slade in Damian's body

Damian, Harvey, and Dick

[daedalusdavinci]

My Riddlebat Recs

ive read most of the stuff in the riddlebat tag. most of it. i dont really read any batman 22 stuff, but ive read just about everything else. that said, heres a list of some of my favorites ive read!

first of all, jovialJuggernaut and fromjannah write my absolute favorite riddlebat fics of all time, so theyre gonna be on this list a LOT. i dont think i put all of their fics on here, tho, so im just telling you right now that you should 100% check out everything both of those authors have. i will link some of my favorites below tho along w some of my other recs

baby lose the costume

by @fromjannah

"Hey," Eddie says, impossibly soft. The lights are so bright. "C'mon, Crusader. You're here. Listen to my voice." Bruce can only oblige. Easy as breathing.

Bruce, Eddie, and a late night visit to Arkham that goes a little sideways.

read all of fromjannahs unburied fics. do it. immediately. rn. they are all devastatingly good and frankly some of the best riddlebat fics out there. this one in particular is so melancholy and aching and it wrecks me every time yes i reread it all the time i reread ALL of their unburied fics

once more to see you

by @fromjannah

The Riddler has been missing for over a year -- that is, until tonight. Bruce Wayne has very normal feelings about this.

shortened version of the summary bc im just reccing everything from fromjannah and you need to just start accepting that theyre all good. the way they write eddie is so perfect

ghar aaja pardesi

by saheeli (@sa-heelies on tumblr i think?)

Bruce gets the news on a Tuesday. The letters start coming on Wednesday. Or; Eddie escapes from Arkham again. He leaves a trail of clues behind him so that Bruce and Barbara can follow.

ohh this one is so good. i think its the longest of the unburied ones and i think it was the first one i read?? the set up and eventual payoff is so good and sweet and barbara and eddies relationship OFC is iconic. this was the fic that made me realize i desperately needed to listen to unburied

a dreaded sunny day

by @lesbiantriphosphate

“Who do you think I am, Bruce Wayne?” He smirks. “Or should I be asking: do you know who you are?” Bruce takes his time to decide whether to continue the banter or answer truthfully. He can’t tell whether Eddie wants to continue their comfortable Riddler-versus-Batman game of talking around in circles, or if he’s just searching for an entrance into a more geniune conversation. “I think…” he starts and stops again. “Far too much, in my humble opinion,” Eddie quips as he makes his way over and sets two steaming mugs on the table.

more unburied bc the unburied dynamic is the best dynamic. this one is really fucking sweet ;;;;;;; i love it so much its very short but its such a good read

Unasked

by penguistificial

Edward had thought the only flaw in his perfectly planned crime was that nobody would ever be able to appreciate it - apart from himself. And yet, Batman had deftly deciphered all his clues, seen the solution Edward hadn't thought anyone would ever find. Doesn’t a correct answer deserve a reward? But, what to offer? What would be both acceptable and accepted?

this ones good! its a different take on their dynamic than the fics i usually read but its a very good take

Kings, Knights, Pawns

by jovialJuggernaut (@jovialjuggernaut-draws on tumblr)

riddle man gets to smooch the batman but its a slowburn so thatll be checks watch in a while updated summary when i can think of a good one update: it took 12 chapters but we made it, they smooched

the summary doesnt do it justice, honestly. as far as comics riddlebat goes this is THE riddlebat fic of all time as far as im concerned. this is the blueprint. this is It(TM). liam has such a way of writing eddie hes so irritating and whiny and fidgety as hell you just HAVE to love him. this fic is peak adhd4autism and the way they write bruces autism in this honestly totally influences the way i write bruce all the time. gamechanger of a fic, youve GOT to read it

Hurricane

by jovialJuggernaut

A hurricane hits Gotham and something (someone) washes up in the Batcave.

eddie w eds!!!! yes!!!!! one of my favorites of liams fics. that said, you should read ALL of liams riddlebat fics. they all go hard as fuck and honestly if i looked any further into my bookmarks itd all just be liam all the way down

[candy-fae]

HELLO CARLIE I am here to get u to talk about batman stuff

What got u into batman and why is the riddler ur fav? I am hella curious and i don't remember if we talked abt it!

-Chris! (@worldtravelercv)

LET ME BEAM YOU BACK TO THE RIPE YEAR OF 2004!! I am fresh to the world, 4 years old. I know what Batman is, because I have three older brothers. But I only watched live action silly Jim carry villains, and the colors and Tim burtony city were what stuck. Cool. Neat.

Fast forward. 200000007? Probably. BOOMERANG. I grew up without cable, and the internet for a while. Didn't get a phone until I was 14. so, late at night, while I'm watching the brand new box tv, what comes across my screen?

Well at that time certainly not robot chicken. The theme song was scary. So, the 2004 Batman reruns catch my attention on boomerang, and BOY did they hold it! Feral joker. Penguin being a greedy little criminal. And the Batman. Everything was dark, and angular, and when there was color it was BRIGHT. but it was used so well it made things seem intentional and wacky.

That's actually my favorite version of Bruce. I'm not really a batfam fan at all haha. Hard to keep track of the robins for me. But he was animated like a shadow, or a vampire, and was sharp like a villains design. Kevin Conroy has the best Bman voice, but this guy was my OG and a different spin on the hero's I'd seen so far.

the best version of everything is the the version we were exposed to as kids.

And I loved it! Penguin was definitely my favorite, and I'm actually not a big fan of the Batman 2004's Riddler lol. Just not my style, but INTERESTING. story wise sorta reminds me of the fox gothams Riddler.

He's different, very much so. We get NOTHING of Fox riddlers story before we see him which. Is usually such a big part of his character haha. He doesn't have the same "I'm better than you" energy either that I'm use to. But you know who's got it down just about right?

Arkham Eddie. I played the game at a friends house once, and he explained to me how Riddler progressively learns to outsmart you through the entire series.

He's like an underdog villain, who has SO much potential, but is sparingly used, because he's hard to write, and I hate that haha

To write a good, Compelling Riddler, you have to be smart enough to make, and solve, a complicated obstruction. He's never a toll bridge for the Batman, he's ALWAYS a speed bump. At first. Then he's a boulder, then a mountain, until you can't ignore him anymore, then he's not something you can keep beating up, you actually have to outfox him, and he's aware of it.

He's a good villain because super intelligent people often see things from all angles, and to keep a guy who's called the world's greatest detective on his toes guessing, is pretty impressive for a guy we don't get to see too much. And I think it's a shame.

Personality wise, I think he's funny. Like, accidentally. Have you ever played the Arkham games? HOURS of failing that stupid race track to the sound of him taunting you makes it very full filing to finally catch him, but I WOULDN'T know. That jerk.

At current though, zero year is my favorite. Greg Capullo has such a good understanding of drawing movement and lots of Eddie pictures portray so much action in a still frame, it's crazy, but, now you've got me rambling.

[finniestoncrane]

Okay so even though Arkham Eddie and Connie are like canonicallly married in my heart, what would Connie think of the other riddlers? What would they think of her?

If Arkham Eddie wasn't in the picture would she fall for any of them??

I just have to know I love Connie sm ♡♡♡

- Effy♡

ok i have been dwelling on this and thinking hard about it since you sent it in ef so let's DO THIS

also here's an image i posted of connie in the server but haven't posted here. she has exceptional boba aim

dano: i think connie has the potential to be most afraid of this eddie. she's not a fan of the unpredictable nature, it unsettles her. outside of his mask and criminal violence, she'd find him adorable, but he's for sure the most terrifying to her. i think he'd like her though! she's weird and shy but in a loud and defiant way. he could learn a thing or two from her

young justice: she'd be all over him. and i think it would terrify him to have someone as vocally into him as she would be. but she wouldn't be able to help herself. he's like a baby version of her eddie, he needs love. she'd find it hard not to squish his cheeks constantly. i think having someone who was so super vocal about how adorable he was at every opportunity would do wonders for him. he'd love her for sure

telltale: the accidentally a little bit too loud whispering of the word "daddy"... she'd be all over him. it's debatable whether he'd reciprocate any of her feelings at all, but she'd be taken in instantaneously by a silver fox with a smug attitude and the energy to... do... so... many... things...

unburied: i don't really know much about pokemon, except i know the villains are team rocket. and i think connie and this eddie would 100% be the team rocket of their universe. i think the other rogues would refer to them as the "wonder twins" in a cruel, ironic way. they'd be far too mischievous and adorable together

btaa: honestly? i think she'd be fine to work with him, but she'd probably get along better with miss tuesday. if it wasn't for the fact that he sounded so incredibly handsome and charming and sexy, she'd think of him the same way as telltale. she needs a bit of something weird about a boy, and btas and twojar are too classically handsome for her. the combination of her and miss tuesday would drive btaa insane, so she might not last long

gotham: it's autism for autism romance. connie is... hyper-aware of how people can be cruel and dismissive and mean when someone's trying to talk about their interests, so she'd definitely be one of ed's favourite people immediately. plus tall and skinny and smaller and fat is a top tier pairing silhouette, a classic. AND connie likes gross things and criminology. and she likes holding hands and kissing without tongues, both things i am sure ed is fond of, just look at him

twojar: all bodies are beautiful, but connie's not super into like buff guys? bad experiences, they tend to either not like her because she's fat or think she needs to work out more because she's fat. which is a shame because i think he would be into having something soft to press against his rock hard tits

btas: oh god this has the potential to be the sweetest combination, and the most valuable for both of them! i don't know how well they'd do romantically, but the two of them as a duo? even just as friends? bliss. connie would appreciate having an eddie who was polite and calm and willing to explain things and i know he would love having a wide-eyed little idiot to listen to everything he said and go "wow that's so cool" afterwards

capullo: as a self-insert, i'm afraid connie would be hugely attracted to this loser. BUT as a slightly better version of myself, she's aware of her worth as a human being and would probably give him a miss. yeah he might be fun to flirt with or to tease, but she'd avoid being pulled into his bullshit. and i think he'd curse himself for that because he would be very aware of what he was missing

[summercourtship]

i just binged stbotdi and i just wanted to say that you have this amazing ability to keep me paranoid. any scene you’ve written with johnathan is amazing, he is so perturbing. everything he does puts me on edge.

even in earlier chapters when he’s not yet the scarecrow in reader’s mind, his actions always seem to have underlying malicious intent. and every time you somehow, through the reader’s rationalizations, manage to draw it back to being “just a little strange”. it irritates me (in a good way!) how she twists it so that his glaring red flags are really “not that big of a deal if you think about it”.

also i adore how you’ve written Edward. he’s my fav and i appreciate how you don’t separate him from the riddler persona. he may be pitiful and in desperate need of a hug, but it’s also imperative to remember that he is still, first and foremost, without a doubt, a domestic terrorist!

this fic is perfectly unsettling and masterfully done. the callbacks, the parallels between characters, the recontextualization, all of it is soooo yummy.

thank you for your writing, i’m 100% sure once this is finished that i’ll come back to it at least once a year.

my apologies for yapping your brains out ♥️

I think a lot of us have had relationships (friendships, situationships, etc) where we have deliberately overlooked red flags because we just wanted to have that ideal version of the relationship we've created in our heads. Realistically, the Reader at the beginning of the fic knows that the relationship with Jonathan won't last and knows that there is something wrong. BUT she also can't help but think that maybe.... maybe it will work out. Maybe she's just overthinking things, maybe it's her anxiety and trauma that makes what he does seem so double-sided. Maybe once this is all over she'll learn to trust her gut more.

I added Edward in pretty late in planning and was genuinely surprised with how much I loved writing him. His parts have been some of my favorite (and also some of the easiest parts to write, they come very naturally). I try my best to balance between He's Just A Guy and He Has Killed People, because a lot of fics pick one or the other and run with it. But where Jonathan is genuinely a cruel and bad person, I view Edward as being a normal man who was pushed too far and does bad things as a result. I'm not sure if that distinction makes sense, but it does to me and it's how I try to write them...

Anyway, thank you so much!!!!! With my longer fics, I try to challenge myself and one of my goals was to work on writing tension and creating a dark atmosphere. Whether or not I've fully accomplished that, it's been good practice! <3333

[pumpkinstrawbrew]

how do you feel about nolan’s batman/scarecrow?

i’m not fully sure what you mean here. like, as in how i feel about the characters in that movie or that version of the pairing? 

but either way, i don’t hate it! i don’t hate any of batman movies tbh. no matter, how different or hella campy they are compared to source material, i still can see smth redeeming in them. i’m generally somewhat lax n’ chill with superhero movies/games. in most cases, i’d be more nitpicky toward cartoons/newer comics, than i’ll ever be toward cinema or video games. nolan’s batman falls into that category too. it’s not my fav batman movie by any means, but it has its moments.

besides, i believe that it was the first dc’s newer *2000 era* cinematic project back then, n’ i happen to watch it as a kid, so i have somewhat nostalgic memories about it as well. i also must say, that the tone of nolan's dark knight was very different compared to more campy, playful batman movies till that point. so it was nice change too. very unexpected turn in a way.

personally, for me it was hit in some places n' a fairly big miss in the others. for one, i get why a lot of people were annoyed with who nolan chose to play the scarecrow, since yes, it is strange to see a character, who canonically was considered to be far from pretty *to put it mildly* suddenly becoming basically an opposite of it. but tbh, i usually not very sold on who they pick to play characters in those movies. so it’s not like i tend to be 100% pleased in that aspect. n’ i do find it somewhat amusing, that for once, jonathan can be a real ‘princess’, both in manners n’ looks. it took some getting used to for sure, but i’m not super-duper upset about that change! i feel like i would have more inner dissonance if that batman movie, where nicolas cage was about to play crane had actually happened lol. i mean, it could have been interesting tbh, bc i cannot imagine cage being tame in his performance, esp back then. so maybe it's actually too bad that it didn't happened, bc we might have gotten the most over the top jonathan crane, who ever existed. like, you see jim carrey's riddler n' there is still no riddler to this day to top his exaggerated, campy performance lol. n' i have this vibe here too. i can bet 10$, that nick would have improvised in some scenes, n' like licked batman's face or smth. .... ah man, now i kinda wish that it had happened, dang.

but uh err, back to nolan's movies. if i’m being completely honest here, my main pet-peeve with nolan’s scarecrow wasn’t his looks per say, but rather how little he was presented in those movies in itself, and how nothing was really going on there for him. it really rubs me the wrong way, that he wasn’t even his own thing, just a pawn for another batman villain to use. he was never allowed to play a major role in anything, despite *might be wrong here tho* how nolan said that he considers the scarecrow to be batman’s real arch-nemesis not the joker, so this is why he used the scarecrow first. the scarecrow being batman's real fuel is smth i’m 100% sold on, and it all considering, that i actually love the joker as character. but like, the clown gimmick is basically antipod to literally everything lol. him being batman's 'fuel' always felt kinda idk, a bit lazy to me. at least, make the black mask or two-face his arch-enemy, this would be way more nuanced vs the clown, who's just hella insane n' have zero morals. so if nolan was also one of those people, who felt that the joker can be put aside for a moment or two, n' let another old batman's rogue shine, welp, he didn't implemented said sentiment very well in his movies.

there was a lot of room to do smth with crane’s character. to flash him out in newer ways or craft him more specifically for the setting, that they had going on. batman 2022 actually got this bit right. their edward was still very riddler-like, while also possessing enough ‘original’ elements to make him exist within the movie’s narrative/tone perfectly. he felt like that movie's main villain specifically n’ he played the part. n’ it all considering how he also was on the screen for idk, 20 minutes at max. but his presence was important n’ left an impact. not hannibal lector from silence of the lamb level, of course, *you cannot beat a suspense masterpiece after all* but still, it was smth. n' it was one of those things, that made me like the movie way more, than i expected.

with this in mind, now compare it to how we had to sit through a long ass movie, where we were teased with the scarecrow being the main antagonist. only for it to turn out to be a lie. instead, crane was taking the back seat to ra al ghul. just degist this sentence. he wasn't even bested by the joker or bane. but by ra flipping al ghul. like out of curiosity, i asked a couple of people, who have very limited n' slight knowlege of batman's media as whole, but who watched nolan's movies, n' i asked them who was the villain in the first movie. and they all were like 'the scarecrow'. no one even remembers ghul. an' it's not bc crane did smth big in the movie, but it's bc no one really cares about that past lore, where ghul was bruce's teacher. everyone only remember, that he kinda died or smth, when the cave/building collapsed lol. granted, i’m also bias here, bc ra al ghul is one of those batman’s villains, who personally bore me. and naturally, him stealing the spotlight from crane doesn’t win him any brownie points with me. but like, idk. this is just so unfair to the scarecrow. i mean, his iconic fear toxin wasn’t even released by him or on purpuse, which had me like ??? as a kid. bc it just made zero sense. it would have been the same, if i dunno, a clock king in btas had released joker’s laughing gas, all while the joker himself was just sorta/kinda there. just idling in the background without any proper input, aside from being the one who created the said gas lol. this is what had happened there. so yeah, it was a very awkward way to make bruce's old asshole teacher revelant again. also jonathan being a drug dealer *kind of* an' having a 'business plan' is so hiliriously opposite of what he usually did in the comics/btas. maybe, he could have shared his knowlege of how to make money with other cranes, who are usually broke as hell lol.

n’ well, if i had to be nitpicky here, i also was disappointed with how little thought they put into crane’s scarecrow costume. the excuse of ‘they tried to make it more realistic’ doesn’t work on me, bc catwoman in burton’s batman was designed with the same idea in mind, n’ her costume was freaking awesome n’ creative. but oh well…it is what it is.

as for nolan’s scarebat version, well, i don’t mind it. i love comic/btas crane n’ bruce the most. love jon as that socially inept, unsightly, closeted gremlin, n’ bruce as a low-key emotionally stunted, but still sympathetic hero. but aside from that, i can see an appeal in a good-looking scarecrow, who might have the power to sway batman with one smokey look. granted, jonathan already acted all whorish around the bat in the movie, so it’s not hard to picture him trying to seduce his way out of an encounter with batman just bc he feels that he can do it. so just this one time, crane can have it ‘easy’, when it comes to wooing the big bad bat. there is also smth funny about people expecting the fearsome scarecrow to look literally anything, but how nolan’s one looks. an' i also must add, that i've read a few of nolanverse scarebat fics an' usually the authors doing a better job at flashing out crane, than the movie did lol. so props to them for that!

[siphonophoresupernumerary]

You reblogged the discuss the blue curtains I beg of you post again, this ask is your excuse to go off on any blue curtains you're thinking of rn bc I'm curious

Why thank you! I was going to put this off because A) tis the season and I'm busy and B) I don't remember any blue curtains to discuss, but! I'm between things and I've remembered something I've wanted to discuss for a while, but since no one has seen it I just kinda was quiet about it.

So Swiss Army man is a movie that I saw a couple years ago, and maybe 5+ years after it came out. It might have been during quarantine? I was watching a lot of movies instead of sleeping back then. Anyway. Theres basically only two actors in it: Paul Dano(of batman/riddler fame) and Daniel Radcliffe(Harry Potter and then just a string of weird films)

Swiss Army man opens with a man(Paul Dano/Hank) on a tiny island trying to hang himself, he is alone, we never find out how he got there. His attempt on his own life get interrupted when someone washes up on the beach. A corpse(Daniel Radcliffe).

The corpse is the Swiss Army Man. His farts can propel his body like a jet ski in the water, infinite clean water spills from his mouth when his arm is pumped, his throat can be used as a mortar to launch objects of any kind, his erections always point north.

And he isn't quite dead. The body (Hank names him Manny), can only barely speak, cannot move his body consciously, and knows just about nothing at all. Hank tries to help him remember, but only a little bit ever comes from Manny, maybe even nothing, everything supplied by Hank's own mind

Hank and Manny find their way to the mainland, still far from civilization, but they have to work together, and they spend a lot of time talking. Since Manny doesn't actually know anything, Hank supplies some backstory to Manny, a girl he loved (her image is on Hank's phone), an enjoyment of Jurassic Park.

"Hank leads Manny to believe that Manny is in love with a woman named Sarah, who rides the bus alone every day. Manny falls in love with Sarah, and it is this love that motivates him to try to find civilization with Hank. In reality, Hank is very much in love with Sarah, having seen her riding the bus every day but never talking to her due to his own shyness. He has a photo of her that he took secretly while on the bus set as the wallpaper on his phone..." -wikipedia

They build a set, the bus, people on the bus, recreating the moment, Manny playing Hank, Hank playing the Sarah.

They kiss.

Shortly after there is a fight between them as Manny finds out that Hank never actually talked to her, and he wishes to be fully dead again. They make up after being attacked by a bear, Manny finally gaining bodily movement. Manny carries Hank's unconscious body to Sarah's house, Hank waking as they get close and enter her back yard. Her daughter finds them, and Manny tries to show her some of his powers, Hank stopping him, the police get called, Manny becomes an inanimate corpse again.

Theres more after this, but heres the thing. the movie is about self-restraint, shame, and social norms. Manny doesn't like that Hank hides parts of himself from him, is distressed when things that his body does freak out Hank. He is a corpse, an entity without a life, and Hank is alive, and has wasted his pining for someone and never acting on it.

Manny's powers and animacy only work when Hank believes in him, when Hank isn't hiding himself/things from Manny. Manny is finally able to move his limbs when Hank has told him everything. When Hank is embarrassed for him he stops functioning altogether.

I live a lot of my life inside of boxes, my head, my phone, my computer, and keep as much as I can from leaking out for others to see. Partly because of this movie I have tried to do that a bit less, be my true self more often, not just palatable versions of me

[gplewis]

thank god for prosecco

eggs? i’d love too

a dance card of eggs, of ovums

sequel to

ovums

Ovid Athleta

brands who suck need a sucker

being timed on my righteous responses

i deserve the neutral

if you want i can free you from

neuraldivergent

lagging

two platforms, channels

others’ listening-limited

humectants - she learned it

she’s paused with her calf bonnet

you can’t touch me as it’s absorbing

i’ll be touchable in 35 seconds

Control control control Austin Apollo 13 Center in Houston we have lost two unnecessary lines that I wrote in Microsoft Word the app close I don't know why and so now we're resigning and resurfacing and I'm running all with my rolling chair none of it's mine there's no my here and I sit at the door like a good puppy and I watch her aroma fire herself yes aroma fire self, yes, aromify herself after

People can’t do somethin’ themselves, they wanna tell you you can’t do it.

sitting here and driving, facing the mass

a good place to read

now i’m one of a weapon

my half divided in half

my mother said you can tell me anything

fuck and then do something

as opposed to

doing something without fucking (i fear it’ll get competitive and boring

chief of the scene if there were a scene — Odd

like Emily Dickinson, nestling substantial tangential tropics

unnecessary pressure created homeless people

can’t make a mistake but i’m bored

thank god someone texted

happy ‘stop searching for an enemy’ day

Sun Sep 29 2:19PM (no, 4:19?!

USUALLY i start reading shit

now i listen to music and turn

from friends

i expect to only work on my art if i’m not doing chores

now, time is slow—stay at it;

use old words

be a slow pro

taking up time

like no one else

THE ONLY FLAVOUR I HADN’T TRIED

osprey backpack

1937 remington silent

11 1/2 cleats

sit stunned at shallow wish lists

i can’t mom OR daughter you?! well i’m sorry baby, you’re useless to me

No acids what are you thinking about another question and it's fun to do another one I was born residence I hope I would like that I am there is some guys I listen to one podcast tour in the wrestler no avengers this fucking transfer everything's fine fucking wonky it is at all// Control control control and then you start I love you stack of skulls and those are pickles or pilots they're not pickles are pilots they're all as we make tuna at the same time and that's called recovering from a far we made in a long distance relationship and Internet at the same time do you want some Brian not Brian Brian we drink Brian was sick of the vine Frankenstein Olivia Newton fine// shots of Brian in the Bronx I didn't know keep me from getting to you babe that moment and Middlebelt Road here comes true holy book read with the girls holy books yeah the Beach bowl // Beach ball wide sky color please come Brendan FunBrain golden dawn orchestra orchestra not work like the month but like the mythical fictional orcs druids powers griffin liger is my favorite else thinks leviathan L is the best encyclopedia but I haven't you pick a letter from the LLEL the letter L and encyclopedias is the best not just because it has love but it really is the best// intimacy shit your pants together shit in the bed would be that that's a lot of work to do together with Cleveland planting explosive shit strategically throughout the city to 17 waisted low pursuit system do you know what I've learned that city Council members of the most important part with people because// boom boom boom vanilla extract right now I'm humming blueberry hummingbird riddle me pickle me dill Brian dildo pick up me this Pickler Riddler Pickler Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled me this. Pickle me this Peter Piper. Church structures moral question t winter ;-) children's rhyme contrary how does your garden grow pretty maids and Rose sounds like the stack of users who are somewhere up the slippery slope to the flower yeah how does your garden grow the Barbra Streisand sings a version of that song I don't know if it's the same song she got a hold of us Babs you really got a hold of Tommy// yeah I was with Aaron so exhausted I did the Amanda mushroom chocolate tasted so bad it was like so like it was like it was a hint of this really good Italian I was gonna amaretto cookie but it was like that weird jagged thorny blackberry briar underbelly no it was a result blackberry this isn't thorns on my tongue and I'm smacking my tongue like

an artsy guy who applies himself

a long island little spit brat

how not to intimidate in the right situation

you get one shot as a female coming into here

on that clothing first impression

look more put together than you are: a coordinated two-piece

the four horsemen - six guest makeup

6-24 private event at the shop after closed shop

2x2, wigged and fed into the makeup room every 15 minutes

watching porn rewriting what achievement is moving cities

entering his “stopped giving a fuck” boomer phase and it’s not very fun for any of us

coming back to team straight is my fantasy future LOL // but imagine getting the band back together

i’m gonna buy stuff so someone’s gonna have to make my money

the serene grapefruit glow

you gotta have a lion tamer or a lady

simple, cut and dry is only something i like in my jerkies

man, weirdo, perv

woody allen, deconstructing harry, one of her favorite films, amazing cast of actors, not as self-loathing as the others; a scene with Robin Williams who becomes “out of focus,” he himself has become blurry

when Sofia Loren met her famous director husband

being directed by an Italian man who’s obsessed with you

persona, charm and rockin’ tits

the way he puts the camera around

don’t kill nobody that you can’t revive before five

CW: language, eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and unwanted sexual attention. Western culture has a terrible history of treating the female body as an object that exists for the pleasure - or displeasure - of everyone except the girl or woman who inhabits it. Her body is a safe place for her to inhabit only so far as it earns her safety and approval from the people and society around her. So splitting her sense of self off from her body makes sense. Her body becomes an object to her, too, and not one she is incentivized to treat as inherently worthwhile or precious.

https://narrativeresponsibility.podbean.com/e/the-female-body-as-object/

new trauma backlog just dropped

and it’s the same as the old backlog

who’s more wounded?

grumpy me is back! parents and money! go for the throat!

molestation trauma is a current we can all smell and find each other

[astrologista]

i hate to say it but all bruce does these days is whineeeee. which i feel like is antithetical to how i understand him as a character. like yes, he broods and he does obsess, but he doesn’t really whine unless some of the time if only alfred is there to witness it lol.

like, fr. i haven’t really been keeping up with comics, so maybe i’m off base with some of this, but here’s what it looks like from the outside

bruce’s relationship with dick is under-served or just basically ignored, when they do bring it out, it’s only for very quick angst fuel then right back to business like they don’t know each other at all

bruce accepting jason back into the family was rushed and handled by sub-par writing which didn’t support the emotional gravitas that said reunification should have involved. i’ve seen a lot of fics that did it way better than what they did. it feels shoe-horned. also, why is bruce tacitly rubber-stamping jason as batman-affiliated when he’s still using GUNS? like WHAT. how does that make any sense. do bruce’s emotional boundaries matter at all? does everything have to be jason’s way or the highway? bruce is notoriously stubborn. much as he loves jason, i can’t see him letting that slide IF this were to work. DON’T SKIP OVER THE IMPORTANT CHARACTER WORK. like, set up the foundations and then build on top of that. don’t just jump to the payoff and try to walk things back as you go! it’s lazy and shows where editorial mandate stymied good storytelling. and there are way more issues with it that i have than just that. of course i love to see bruce and jason caring about each other and getting along as much as the next fan but the way they chose to go about it raises SO many questions

tim who?

no tim has been flanderized so fucking bad. actually he’s been transformed more into the fandom-lite version of himself, which i do kind of hate. oh yeah, he’s with bernard now. WHOOP TEE DOO! the fans have been clamoring for that pairing for years i’m sure.

there have been an assortment of good-to-middling damian comics since the 2010s as at least some writers seem vaguely interested in that dynamic with bruce but for every 2 mildly tolerable issues they drop one that’s got fucking jack shit bonkers writing in it and relies on only the most tired of “U LIED TO ME” tropes. nothing will compare to the tomasi 2011 batman and robin run and that was like the single decent output of the new 52 and the best thing dc has released in years. i’m right

among the newer characters they’ve released, it’s sad that they never really seem to... stick? PLEASE INVEST IN SOMEONE. more duke! more harper! more LITERALLY ANYONE!

bring the fun back to comics. where’s the storytelling. decide whether you want to create a new shitty joker and/or riddler iteration, or a new army of jokers and/or riddlers and/or scarecrows. or just create a new poo poo shitty villain of the week who will age like milk. why not have one based on social media. that’s a new one that i’m sure no one will ever see coming.

STOP SOFT REBOOTING EVERY ISSUE. we know, you’re going to start the next new groundbreaking run, take everything back to basics so nobody is confused, bring on the new readers with this cool new jumping on point, simple just batman alfred and the joker with juuuust enough of a new “modern” twist to it to differentiate it from the thousands of other times you did this. great job dc. doing great. when you’re done with that let’s do another mass cataclysm event across 20 books. im sure people will want to collect all those variant covers.

and i love how there are SO many fics that do it so, so, so much better. jesus fuck. and fic writers aren’t even being PAID! we’re not even being PAID!!

so, yeah, i’m kind of done with comics for time being. i’ve been dabbling in anime and games again, getting back to roots, but so far, it’s mainly been independent web content free of advertisers, executives, editorial and other bullshit that’s caught my fancy lately. the artistic freedom is really needed to tell a good story now. the multiverse / soft reboot / re-configure the universe every year bullshit that marvel popularized has infiltrated, like, everything, as well as the netflix model of “let’s cancel immediately after season 1”. there is no buildup. there is no excitement. there is no story. mba’s and boardrooms do not understand “story”. they don’t know what creativity is. they know what numbers, profits, engagement look like, and they are optimizing for that curve. i do not know why they are shocked when that curve sinks lower and lower every year. i just simply do not understand.

im so mad. kevin conroy’s dead and we’ll never get something like b:tas ever again. media has been my life since i was a baby. so i have to find some kind of stories to try to enjoy even if i have to eke it out in the margins of society lol

[your-rib-cage]

literally can not get the way ed says My gang wore green, your gang wears blue out of my head

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Retrospective Review - Batman: The Movie (1966)

Now this is a unique one of a kind movie experience. I remember that the Batman tv series was one of the initial inductions into comic books along with BTAS as a kid. It was two completely versions of Batman. I used to love the voice effects of the punches with the text on screen obscuring the punches. As a kid, this was the greatest thing ever. Watching the movie as an adult after years is such a ridiculous nostalgic trip. Its just one of those things that you have to look through the lense of the time period and the show.

This film is absolute camp and is about as far away from what we think about the Batman in the modern day. This movie is so bright and sunny, which is contrary to Batman. I don't think Batman appears even once at night. In fact I feel only one scene is really set at night. Otherwise the movie is set during the day and everything is very warm and friendly. Each and every actor looks like they are all playing at the absolute peak camp and having a blast while doing it. The plot of the movie is blatantly absurd and absolutely hilarious. 4 villains, Joker, Penguin, Riddler, and Catwoman are using technology that dehydrates a person, converting them to powder, and targeting the world security council. Its impossible to take this stuff seriously but you aren't meant to. This is goofiness in its absolute sincerity. And its a blast to watch with that mindset.

The film is filled with pretty much everyone. As I mentioned earlier, the film has some of the top tier villains working together. Robin is in the movie along with Alfred and Gordon. There is a lot of fun to be had. The film just has the most exaggerated dialogue possible. The movie is definitely targeting kids. Because of the a lot of dialogue is very explanatory so that young kids watching can understand what is going, whether be it the villains talking to each other or Batman ad Robin doing detective work. In a way its admirable how the film wholeheartedly targets its demographic and there's good reason that this is the Batman for a whole generation of people. The action is fun. Like I mentioned before, I loved the sound effects of the punches showing up in text. The film has some brilliant humor. Like Batman racing around trying to dispose of a bomb, a bomb which has an extremely long fuse, and he just can't find an empty space to dispose of it. I cackled through that entire sequence. There are many scenes like that.

However, keeping the goofiness and the camp aside, the film definitely is about 15 mins too long. There is only so much to the story. The last 15 minutes or so just seem to be a bit of unnecessary social. If the film was about 80-85 mins, it would probably be the perfect length. Bruce Wayne is also a bit an idiot in the movie, since he can't figure out that the woman seducing him is Catwoman. Obviously the film shows its age and budget so anyone looking to see a proper Batman movie of the modern era is certainly not going to find it here. In essence this film has to be taken as an action comedy.

This film definitely lives and dies on the strength of its performances. Adam West is a generation's Batman for a reason. There is no winking at the camera in his performance. There is incredible amount of earnestness in his turn. Same with Burt Ward as Robin. Cesar Romero, Burgess Meredith, Frank Gorshin, and Lee Meriwether are clearly having the time of their lives as the villains and they light up the screen. Alan Rapier has a few funny scenes as Alfred.

Overall, this is a hard movie to grade. It has to be graded on a curve based on what it is intended to be and its a joyous ride in the right mood. I would say its about a 7-7.5/10.

[lilcoffeecup]

Late night coffee and confessions

This is my entry for the fluff/angst Maribat April. This is the fluff piece to @onlyganymede-maribatedition‘s angst piece with the prompt of “I think I love you; You think?!” their fic was really good, I definitely would recommend checking it out. I’m really sorry for posting this late and for the short length but I hope it turned out okay. Enjoy :) @maribat-angst-fluff-april

Marinette had recently moved to Gotham a few weeks ago, after the disaster that was Paris, she had needed a fresh new start and Gotham was that for her. Growing up in a bakery, she wanted to keep a small piece of her past with her and that’s how she ended up becoming a barista at Café Levant. It was a small café, but the manager Micheal and fellow barista, Sera were both good people and made her feel not so alone in Gotham especially during the dreaded night shift.

Tim had always frequented to Café Levant when he wanted his coffee fix at 4am these days since Dick, Bruce, even the whole floor was trying to get him coffee dry, the traitors. Thought it was a nice walk and he always got himself a little a little treat and of course his love, his life, coffee. W.E was a little far away from Café Levant but worth the walk with the delicious chocolate croissants that were baked fresh daily there, and the nice baristas there even gave him the leftovers if there were any occasionally.

Just as Tim was walking in for his late night/early morning coffee fix while almost walking into the door, one of the newer baristas was making brewing a fresh pot. Marinette was her name; Tim was reminded by her a quick glance at her nametag and for a second Tim thought he was looking at a female version of him.  With her having the same expression as his on her face, of not having had sleep in over a week, and of just being so done with everything that all that mattered was finishing the task at hand then passing out for a couple days.

Pouring the coffee into what looked to be a very large cup, and taking a long sip, Tim waited to place his order. “No offense but I’m not gonna greet you with the way too chipper ‘welcome to café levant bs’ because honestly its way too early to have to deal with that, for both you and me. So just tell me your order and wait right there for me to gather enough braincells to make your drink.” Marinette said pointed to a little further from the order station with a card name card type of tag saying ‘pickup’s’.

Tim blinked for a few seconds then seemed to become somewhat coherent again “Uhhh, can I have the darkest roast coffee please?” It was Marinette’s turn to blink, as far as she knew, she was the only one able to stomach the darkest roast that they had and everyone else ended up saying that they couldn’t except for that one guy the others had told her about. “Are you sure about that? Almost no one is able to stomach that, weaklings” Mariette ended up muttering at the end. “Yeah, I’m sure, and as large as you have with as many espresso shots as legal” Now Marinette’s mind was spinning and not just the 4am spinning, no like actually spinning because “if you want to copy my order then go ahead, it’s your funeral”

Just as Tim was about to reply, Riddler burst through the doors carrying a gun in his hand, “Give me all your money, c’mon empty the register NOW”. Marinette didn’t look the least bit frightened though she did look like she wanted to punch someone. Tim realized that the other two workers had stepped back, and so did he since he wasn’t Red Robin right now but Tim Drake-Wayne.

“Do you honestly have nothing better to do right now then rob a small-time café? And, rude much, I was clearly talking to a zombie like myself here and you just had to go and burst through the doors as if I would care” Marinette ended up saying in a bored tone while looking for a frying pan to smack Riddler over the head with. After successfully finding what she was looking for, she nodded her head in the direction of the back-area of the café to Tim “Just head on in there with Sera and Michael, I’ll be with you again in a moment”

For the second time since Tim had entered the small café today, Tim was almost sure that this was all a dream and not reality. Logically speaking, how would a petite little seemingly French not that he wouldn’t look her up on the Bat-computer later would be able to take on Riddler. Before he could protest though, he was ushered into the back by the 2 other workers and when inside and looking at his somewhat concerned face, started snickering “Don’t worry about little Mari, she packs more of a punch than one would think”.

A few minutes later, Marinette walked in with a half-conscious but fully terrified Riddler tied up screaming “Look at what you did! You made me drop some of my precious nectar, my coffee, you monster.” Riddler ended up blubbering “I’m sorry okay! I’m sorry! I’ll never rob this café again! Just please, please don’t hit me with your coffee pot, it hurts.” When she saw Tim’s still concerned look, she gave a glance at her co-workers and when they simply shrugged and started to walk back to the front of the shop to go back to what they were doing she ushered him back to the front

“Are you okay?”, Tim was simply shocked “Am I okay? I wasn’t the one who took down the Riddler, are you okay?”. “Yeah, I’m fine just kind of lost a piece of me with my spilt coffee” “Mood.”

“Anyways, here is your order, I made it just like mine so be careful, it packs a big kick” Tim took a sip “Oh my god! I think I’m in love, you are, hands-down, my new favourite barista! This reminds me of the coffee I used to be able to have before those traitors betrayed me and tried to get me coffee dry” Tim didn’t know if it was just him, but he thought Marinette’s eyes twinkled a little more after that. “Oof, that’s tough, my parents back home tried the same and let’s just say when they were unsuccessful, they didn’t bother trying again” “Don’t worry, I would be a hypocrite if I tried to tame your coffee intake because I’m the same”. Both Tim and Marinette ended up talking throughout the night, and both felt a spark. Marinette didn’t want to seem as pushing herself onto Tim and Tim didn’t know if Marinette would feel the same. In the end, when Tim was just about to leave, he gathered up all his courage and internally said goodbye to the amazing coffee and café if this ended up going south, then decided to say it because he didn’t want the night to end, he didn’t want to leave her. Marinette, seeing that Tim was meaning to say something hoped that it was what she wanted to hear.

“I think I love you”

“You think?!”

~fin.

[cupcakereviews]

Review: The Batman (2022)

So I got around to watching The Batman last night and I honestly believe that this has got to be the best Batman movie I've ever seen.

I was a bit skeptical when Robert Pattinson was cast as Batman, but he's easily in my top three favorite Batman actors now. The same goes for basically everyone cast in the movie, Paul Dano as the Riddler, Andy Serkis as Alfred, and John Turturro Falcone. That's not to say everyone was perfectly cast though.

I didn't mind Jeffrey Wright as Gordon, but this portrayal of Jim was not that enjoyable to me personally. It was a different one we've seen from any movie or even TV show so far. For a lot of the movie he was right there alongside Batman instead of with the other police. It's an interesting idea and could work, but something about it just didn't work for me. Then we have Colin Farrell as the Penguin. This one is a bit of a win-lose for me. I absolutely loved this portrayal of the Penguin. Not really a "villain", more just a guy that works along with the others and still operated the Iceberg Lounge. One of the best versions I've seen. But I hated his design.

At least it's a better design than what we got in Gotham.

The main villain of the movie is The Riddler. I didn't much care for his design either, but I understand why it was changed. A guy running around in a green tuxedo covered in question marks wouldn't really fit the vibe they were going for.

The fight scenes in this were incredible. Especially the very first one that happens about 10 minutes into the movie. It genuinely makes you feel like Bruce is still inexperienced at the whole "Batman" thing since this is pretty early on in his "career", but also still shows that he can take out an entire group of people pretty easily.

The soundtrack is also incredible, with the theme song being one of the best, especially with the way it's used in the movie.

I also really love the way Batman is treated in this movie. In a lot of movies Batman is always told to be this scary figure that lurks in the darkness, but we never really see that, but this movie does a great job at showing just how scary and intimidating he is. He literally hides in the shadows, he walks a lot towards people and for an added touch they added boot sound effects almost like what you would hear in a cowboy movie with spurs and everything. Explaining it doesn't do it justice, it's really something you need to see for yourself.

The movie as a whole is amazing, I do hope we get to see more in the near future, especially with how this movie ended I think it sets up a great sequel that could possibly be a great way to bring in someone like Killer Croc.

[glittter-skeleton]

Okay, okay, I like combining my most cringy interests, so here’s my pitch for a Be More Chill Gotham AU (but with a twist, you’ll see)

Also credit to @payinghisrent on AO3 who isn’t as lazy as me and actually write a BMC Gotham fic, but this as a different idea

Let’s start with the characters

Edward Nashton as Jeremy Heere, only not failing math and a whole lot more passive aggressive

Oswald Cobblepot as Michael Mell, only he’s more of a loner than a loser, think Janis from “Mean Girls”

Lee Thomkins as Christine Canigula and instead of Play Rehearsal we’re getting Biology Practice

Jim Gordon as Jake Dillinger obviously, you don’t have to change much for this one

Harvey Bullock as Rich Goransky, only a bit less charming

Barbara Kean as Chloe Valentine, the same bitch we know and love

Isabella as Brooke Loost, now with a bit more character

Tabitha Gilzean as Jenna Rolan, only a bit more murderous

And Riddler as the SQUIP

Edward isn’t a popular guy and it’s not like he wants to be but the world just doesn’t seem to understand his genius. He has Oswald, of course, his best friend and half the reason his reputation is as low as it is, but it’s not what he longs for. Ed is also crushing on LeeEEeEe Thomkins, the perfect girl. He even signed up for the biology club to get closer to her. But one day everything changes as he is pulled over by Harvey and offered some special devise called The RIDDLER that will help his make the world see how great he really is.

He actually gets quite into biology practice even though it’s all Lee seems to be interested in.

He tries to discuss his feelings with Oswald, but, as they’re hanging out and shooting random stuff at the old junkyard Oswald expresses that there isn’t a need to show off this much. Guys like them are better off ruling the entire city of Gotham, not Gotham High School, Oswald explains, with some elegant metaphors about pushing people off rooftops.

Ed goes to the mall and while Oswald goes to look at some fancy coats he buys himself a RIDDLER and, surprisingly, it works! A better version of him appears and coaches him through buying a green jacket and flirting with Isabella.

With his newfound confidence he tries again with Lee but as she’s only interested in Jim so his next step is to become as popular as him. He runs into Oswald who yells at him but is nonetheless excited when Ed tells him the drug worked. But he doesn't have time for smoking in junkyards, so he starts dating Isabella and ignores Oswalds swears.

The Halloween party is going great. Isabella is a sexy librarian, Jim and Lee are normal doctor and sexy cop respectively (which causes a whole argument) and Ed is all decked out in a glittering green suit. Then everything goes to shit as Ed’s talk with Lee goes as smooth as asphalt and Barbara of all people drags him upstairs to make out. He escapes her but is approached by Oswald holding him at knifepoint and telling him how there is no such thing as a RIDDLER. Ed doesn’t listen and Oswald is left alone in that bathroom crying about losing his best friend and crush.

The house doesn’t burn down because that plot point is useless in this story.

The science fair is approaching and while the biology club is planning their showcase, Ed is hatching up a plan of his own. He runs into Tabitha and tries to share the power of the RIDDLER but she refuses and tells him that the pill he’s giving her is just a weak hallucinogen. Ed practically runs to Harvey who can’t believe Ed fell for that little prank of his.

Meanwhile Oswald is sad and as he goes to apologize to Ed he stumbles against something bomb-looking under the stage of the main showcase of the science fair. And goes to stop this plan of Eds.

There is no RIDDLER, there’s only Ed and his crazy mind. Ed decides that the plan has gone too far but as he goes to put a stop to it he runs into Lee and Jim making up. No, he will finish this. And he will kill Jim Gordon.

Everything is in place, the smaller explosives go off. He finds Jim and Lee, threatens Jim and monologues to Lee about how he's better for her and loves her and stuff. Then he goes to choke Jim but is stopped when Oswald appears to help him see that this will not make Lee love him and they need to stop the big bomb. They navigate the panicking crowd and while Oswald stays back to stop some of their classmates from attacking Ed, our hero manages to stop the main bomb right before the big explosion. As the smoke gets to him he sees Lee in Jim’s arms and as everything begins to blur we hear “everything will be fine, I’ve got you, I love you”.

Ed wakes up in a hospital to Jim and Lee being all cute and Oswald sleeping by his side. He apologizes to the pair and even though they do not forgive him, Oswald does. Ed realizes that the only voice in his head was his all along and as he once again becomes kinda hated by the school, it doesn’t matter as long as he has his best friend by his side. We end on Ed and Os back at the junkyard where Ed asks if it was him who comforted him back at the fair. Oswald nods, Ed thanks him for all he’s done, they kiss and promise to become the kings of this city.

Is this trash? Oh absolutely. Do I vibe with Jeremy (or Ed in this case) taking accountability for his shit? Yup. So this is my pitch for a Gotham BMC AU that I will never write.