#but i like to think I'm not angsty anymore:))) well until this dropped at least

[snixx]

"love me forever" and i will. unquestionably.

[thatfreshi]

"I Don't Bite" (Uni AU P. 6)

Astarion's back! But it's kind of angsty so be warned

tw - description of wounds, hints at abuse/ed behavior

@justporo

When you wake the next morning at seven, you sit in bed for a while, thinking of what to do before your first class. Luckily you have until noon. You toss around the idea of going to get some breakfast, but something stops you in your tracks. You think of Astarion. He's been plaguing your thoughts, especially with how everyone seems to dismiss him so easily. You decide he at least deserves an apology for how you yelled at him. Even if you were upset, that wasn't the way to handle it.

So, before you can try and change your mind, you leave the dorm and make your way down the hall. You pause before knocking, trying to see if you can hear any scurrying about in his room. Nothing. You bring your knuckles to the door, lightly bringing them down. That noise is enough for you to hear someone get up and trudge over to the door.

"What do you-"

His eyes meet yours, and all of a sudden he isn't pissed anymore.

"Look, if you came back to yell at me, I got the hint. So you can go on with the rest of your day. Rest assured I won't bother you."

Astarion tries to close the door, but you push back.

"No I... I wanted to say sorry."

"Sorry? You want to apologize, to me?"

"I mean, yeah. Sure, our night out was a little off-putting, but it wasn't fair of me to assume all that stuff about you. And just with the way I've been hearing everyone talk, it feels wrong to just dismiss you I guess."

"Ah, people seem to love talking about me."

You realize he's still nervously peeking out from behind the door, not letting himself relax.

"Well, if you want to talk, I'd love to listen. And again, I'm really sorry."

When you try to turn and leave, he stops you.

"Come in. I could at least make you some coffee for your troubles, coming down to say sorry to me."

He props the door open and toys with his sleeve, quite particularly.

"I was just brewing more espresso anyway. Go on, sit. I don't bite. Unless you ask of course."

You take a seat on his couch, watching as he pours some of the espresso.

"Please don't tell me you're one of those pure black coffee people."

He scoffs.

"Oh of course not darling, I don't particularly enjoy torturing myself."

The two of you laugh lightly as he grabs some creamer from the fridge.

"Hope you enjoy caramel. It's the only thing I have."

"I can't really argue with free coffee."

"You and me both Tav."

You get a little bored sitting on the couch, so you go over to the counter to watch him pour the cups out. It's almost odd, seeing him in such a domestic space, enjoying something like coffee in the morning. He must've caught you staring.

"What? Don't often see models doing people things?"

"No- I mean... yeah, but I don't mean it in like a-"

"It's fine. I'm used to people having their perceptions of me."

As he's pouring his own cup, you go to grab yours, hands unsteady in the process. You accidentally drop yours, spilling some of it on Astarion's forearm, which causes him to wince in pain.

"I'm sorry, is it still hot?"

He doesn't respond to you, quickly rolling his sleeve up. You almost say sorry again, before you catch sight of his arm, which is covered in small red gashes. Without thinking, Astarion goes to rinse off his arm. You don't say anything, mainly because you're not sure what to say. You study the marks a little longer. They're fresh, new.

"Nope, not still hot. But certainly doesn't feel great."

He continues washing his arm, and you realize the marks are also identical, as if done by the same object, and clearly not accidental.

"Are you okay?"

He smirks.

"It's just a little bit of coffee, I'm sure I'll be fine."

"No I mean-"

"I know what you mean. And the answer is you don't need to know."

"They look bad though, have you cleaned all those off?"

"Eh, soap and warm water like most things. I'll be fine."

His hands are shaking again, and you realize for the first time just how scrawny his arm is. Sure, he's a slimmer guy, but you're a little surprised.

"Tav, if you're going to involve yourself with me, the best thing to learn is to stop asking questions you don't want to know the answers to. Because you don't want to know, and I can't tell. So let's just leave it at that."

After drying off his arm, dabbing it lightly with a clean paper towel, he pulls his sleeve back down, that same particular motion from earlier.

"But..."

You try to think of something to say, something that he'd listen to, but nothing comes of it, and your sentence fizzles out and dies in your throat.

"I just remembered, I have a meeting to be at soon. You should probably leave. I have to get dressed."

A lousy excuse, and a dour voice. It's as if he doesn't really want you to leave, but feels as if he needs you to. You hesitate, trying to decide if you should fight to stay, fight to ask further, ask the things you don't want to know the answers to. Instead, you give him your number and tell him to call if he needs anything. He laughs a little, and tells you he has everything he could possibly want, his acting skills not fully in it. And soon after, you leave, letting him have the space he clearly needs.

Astarion reprimands himself after you leave, knowing you know too much. Something in him trusts you though. Maybe it's the fact that you're the only person that's apologized to him genuinely in years, or the fact that he could easily manipulate you if he needed to. Either way, something about you is different, and it's terrifying. He takes a look at the wounds on his arm, gritting his teeth as the fabric pulls at the open gashes. Sure, you may be different, but what's better: the devil you know, or the devil you don't?

[kass-storycorner]

Hello!! i stumbled across your works and i absolutely fell inlove with your writing (especially the angsty ones)

Can i jump on the angst train and request a fic with a line that goes "I'm here, you dont have to wait anymore," with childe? Like maybe the reader told childe that theyll wait for him no matter how long it takes (and maybe a sprinkle of argument) but something happened that made the reader be on the brink of death. With or without comfort/happy ending is up to u!!

first of all thank you so much for the request! and it really makes me so happy to hear that you like my writing, especially my angst haha secondly I am so sorry that this took so long, since I saw this ask in my inbox I couldn't stop thinking about it and finished the first part of this pretty quickly - only to be stuck at how to end it (and actually fulfill the request haha). right now i am not really happy with the ending, though I feel like this is the best I can currently do! I really hope you enjoy, please let me know if it was alright haha (also I fear that I didn't really...wrote Childe in-character, I don't know)

Waiting for you

Genre: Angst, Hurt, comfort at the end

Characters: Childe x gn!reader (Childe is referred by is actual name by the reader, but outside of dialog he's called Childe)

Format: bullet points (backstory) + Text (actual fic, answer to the prompt)

Word count: 4324

Content warning: veeeery slight spoiler warning for the Liyue quests, its literally just one sentence and I tried to keep it as ambigious as possible, slight cursing (using the word bitch too, though thats the only instance of using gendered-vocab for the reader, i still wrote them gn!), mention of blood, mild violence, not proof-read ahah when will i ever do that

you can find the fic under the cut, have fun reading!

You and Childe knew each other since you were just little kids – him and his family being neighbours had meant you always ended up playing with him and his siblings, though you both got along the best.

On more than one occasion you both just ran off to somewhere no one could disturb you, your secret hideout, trading stories of great warriors from outside of Snezhnaya you heard the fishermen at the docks talk about.

Most people and children were wary of Childe, he was always the one who wanted to ‘play-fight’, which ended most of the time with the other kid running home, crying. However, you were the exception, always able to beat him or at least have a tie. Your parents, especially your father, hated it when you came back home with bruises on your arm, a bright smile and telling how you beat Childe up that day. He never felt like Childe was someone you should surround yourself with, but he kept quite for your younger years, also thanks to your mother who wasn’t fond of the fighting either but saw how much time with Childe meant to you.

Things however changed after Childe fell into the Abyss.

It was apparent how violent he got after it, even his own family was completely helpless when it came to him. So his father send him off to join the Fatui, which was a very controversial decision in the small town you both called home – most were happy to not have Childe be around anymore, for he picked up more and more fights and became more violent, but even within Snezhnaya the Fatui have a bad reputation, so most people were convinced that he would only become even worse.

Your father was one of those who was happy, but also concerned. Your mother died shortly after Childe fell into the Abyss, so your father forbade you any contact with Childe.

This, however, did not work. After Childe had to leave Morespesok you kept in touch through letters and whenever he was in town you always met up in secret.

The letters you send each other turned sweeter the older you got, changing the feelings for friendship you both felt for each other slowly into a romantic love. Childe always ended his letter with saying that he would return soon and you always with “I’ll be waiting for you Ajax”.

You always looked forward to his letters and so did he for yours. When he came back to Morespesok after every mission he had to do for the Fatui you both would meet up in your secret hideout. This place became your save haven. Conversations, hugs, kisses and even more – everything that wasn’t written in a letter between you two happened there.

Childe was fine with this and so were you. He didn’t want people to know there was someone he loved as much as he loved you, as one of the Harbringers of the Fatui it could endanger you. You on the other hand were fine with it because, even though you had no understanding for why your father forbad you the relationship with Childe, you couldn’t stomach to disappoint him. After all he was your father and you loved him dearly, no matter how much you both might disagree on things.

Still, you longed for something more – with Childe and for your own life. You wanted to travel too; you haven’t had the chance to leave Morespesok past the few neighbouring villages. So, when Childe wrote to you that after his next visit, which would only be a few days long, he was going to Liyue and didn’t knew for how long he had to stay there – you asked him in your reply if you could join him. Him writing that it wasn’t possible and better for you to stay in Morespesok and just wait for him hurt, but you understood. You are fine with waiting for him, you always were.

You were expecting a sad but loving last night with Childe before he had to leave, ending with a bittersweet goodbye. You weren’t expecting what happened instead.

Childe was angry, it was clear to see. The moment he stepped into your secret hideout you knew something was off – how he averted your eyes, how he didn’t return your kiss with a passionate one, like usual. “Ajax”, you purred in a sweet voice, “what’s wrong?”. You tried to take his hand, but he only pulled it away. Ah, that was unusual. He never refused your touch, no matter how angry he was before. “There is nothing wrong, I just was curious if there is something you want to tell me?”, he replied in a bitter tone, not even looking at you. It took you completely off guard; you saw him be angry or sulky before, you two had your fair share of arguments in the past, but somehow this was different. “No, there is nothing except for the fact that I missed you very much,” you told him, but you could feel how you started to become irritated. When you saw him two days ago visiting your family’s shop with Teucer he gave you a warm and loving smile, winking at you when he handed you that piece of paper asking to meet up tonight. What had happened in between that made him act like this? “Tsk, fine,” and with that he was on his way out. You moved quickly in front of him, blocking the way out. “Now wait a moment, would you kindly tell me what is going on here?”. He just quietly looked at you for a few seconds before he shoved you aside. “AJAX!”, you couldn’t hide your irritation and growing anger anymore, burying your fingers in his arm in order to stop him from leaving. “What did I do to make you be angry at me?”. “It doesn’t matter”, Childe replied coldly, while trying to get you to loosen your grip on his arm. “Now let me go and run home to your father and your fiancé, I bet they are already asking where you are right now.” “My what?” you replied with bewilderment. “Childe, is that why you are angry with me? Because you think I am engaged to someone else?”. Honestly, you would find this situation hilarious if it weren’t for the fact that Childe still looked at you with a sour face. “Well, I don’t think you are engaged to someone else; I know you are. Your father was really excited about the whole thing when he told me, he even invited me to your wedding, granted if I could find the time.” As he said this, he noticed how your face was a combination of confusion and anger. And oh yes, were you angry. Angry at your father for telling such blatant lies and at Childe for believing them, confused as to why he would even believe your father in the first place. “Ajax, I-“you let go of his arm, pinching the bridge of your nose and letting out a deep sigh. “I am engaged to no one, never was. I didn’t tell you this, because I didn’t want to upset you or worry you needlessly, but maybe I should’ve done it. My father continuously tries to marry me off whenever he finds anyone, he deems a worthy suitor. I guess he might have found one of your letters, though he never said anything about it, but I can’t explain why he suddenly started to become so interested in my marital status. Every few weeks he brings another person home, tells me I should marry them, for me to turn those poor fools down and tell my father he should stop. Most accept it that I have no interest in them, some stick around for a few weeks until the realise that nothing will come of it, but yeah. Ask anyone, Archons ask your family, it’s already a running joke here.” You expected the atmosphere to become less tense after you explained the whole situation to him, for him to even turn it into a joke and to apologise for his behaviour. Instead, it just grew more tense. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”, his voice still being cold, underneath it you could hear how angry he still was. “Because it wasn’t important, at least not to me. Honestly Ajax, I don’t see what the issue is here. I am not engaged and I do not plan to agree to one unless-“, you stopped yourself right there. ‘Unless it’s you who’s asking’, is what you wanted to say. You could feel how your heart fluttered even just at the thought. Childe, however, did not notice where you were going with your last sentence, too

occupied with his own anger. “Unless what?”. “It doesn’t matter, can’t we just drop the topic and enjoy our first and last night in months with each other without fighting?”, this was your last offer of peace, hoping he would finally calm down. But you knew deep down – Childe never was one to back out of a fight. “No no no, continue, tell me what you wanted to say!”, his voice growing louder and louder with every word. “Ajax, let it be,” you really weren’t in the mood for anything tonight anymore and the least you wanted to do was discuss your wish of a future with him. “No, I won’t. Tell me, because I would love to know. Or don’t, you can also just go and choose one of the various suitors your father picked out for you to fuck, I bet you really enjoy it how they are all standing in line for you,” he spit his words out, full of anger and disgust. This was the final straw for you, it was apparent that Childe choose words that he knew would hurt you with intent and it made you explode. “You know what? I’ve had enough!”, you screamed at him, feeling how tears were pooling in the corner of your eyes. Not out of sadness or because his words hurt, those were tears of pure rage. “You come in here, after I haven’t seen you in weeks, before you leave for an unspecified amount of time and all you have to do is pick a fight? Fine, here have a fight! You are unhappy that I didn’t tell you how my father wants to force me in a marriage I don’t want to be in? Boho, I am so so sorry for you Ajax. Really, I can’t fathom to imagine how much you must struggle with this, but oh well, life must be so hard when you keep travelling around Teyvat. Because I really can’t imagine how life would be outside this place, what it’s like to have anything to do. Have you ever noticed, ever realised how much I hate it? Hate the wating? Because that’s all I do! I wait for your letters, and I wait for you to return. All I ever do I wait, wait, wait. Wait for you to come home yes and wait for you to finally be ready for something, anything more!”, the tears were now streaming down your hot, angry face. Childe just looked at you, waiting for you to end what you had to say. “I am tired of waiting! I am tired of keeping us hidden, yes, I agreed to it too in the beginning, but now? Dammit, Ajax. I don’t want to be left alone here when you go to Liyue, I don’t want to wait if I don’t know for how long I should wait. I just- “it became harder for you to speak, sobs interrupting you every few seconds. “I wish you would let me join you.” Except for your sobs, which you tried to supress, silence fell over the two of you. Childe just stood there in front of you, watching how you tried to stop the tears. “You know I can’t take you with me. It’s… it’s not safe,” he said after a while. You didn’t expect for him to change his mind, however his words didn’t make you feel any better… on the contrary they made you feel even feel worse. “Leave me alone,” was all you could tell him in that moment. You didn’t want to have him near you, you didn’t want to see his stupid face or look at his sad, blue eyes. Right now, you only wanted to be alone. “(Y/N)”, Childe began softly, wanting to take you in his arms but the look you gave him made him stop dead in his tracks. “Please, I need to be alone now”. The atmosphere was heavy, both of you didn’t want to part on bad terms but – right now wasn’t the right moment to make up. “I will leave you alone, but (Y/N)”, he said, looking at you with regret about how he acted just earlier, “please wait for me.” You scoffed at his words. Wait for him, again. “(Y/N)”, you turned away, so you didn’t have to see his face when he spoke your name again. “(Y/N), please. Please promise me that you will wait for me, I’ll come back, I promise you and I will make up for this… and for making you always wait for me. I promise. You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice.” At the mention of the nursery rhyme you had to chuckle a bit. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend,

the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again,” you finished it, looking back at him. “Fine, I’ll wait. But leave now.” And with that Childe left you alone, leaving Morespesok for Liyue the next day.

It has been a few months now since Childe came to Liyue and while his endeavours here were more or less successful, what was on his mind most of the days was you and how you both parted. He wanted to kick himself in the arse for how he acted that day, for making you so angry and for making you cry. The worst however is how you haven’t written him a single letter yet and Childe, though he would never admit it because of his pride, was too scared to send you one first. That he should be the first one to send you a letter was something he was aware of but still – he couldn’t find the right words. What should he write? Every time he sat down at his desk, looking at the piece of paper in front of him… he was never able to make it past “Dear (Y/N)”, and even with this he wasn’t sure, maybe “Beloved” would sound better? Childe would’ve even considered asking Zhongli for advice, however after finding out that Childe was just a pawn in his plans – he still considers Zhongli a friend, but before he could ask for advice the feeling of betrayal needs to fade out. And now he got the order to return to Snezhnaya by the end of the next month… he felt so anxious at the thought of seeing you again, not even knowing what happened with you the past months. So in the letter to his family in which he announced is return, Childe asked them, after months of not hearing anything from or about you, how you were. When he held the letter of his family in his hands, he started to feel nervous, it included the answer of your wellbeing. He knew you would keep your promise, but still. What if when not? Reading the contents of the letter, however, made him wish that he had asked sooner. Childe couldn’t stop reading the few lines his family wrote about you over and over again.

You asked about (Y/N) wellbeing in your last letter. Ajax, we wish we could tell you some more pleasant news than this, but we haven't seen or heard anything of (Y/N) for a week now. No one really knows where they might be, the last we know is that they left their home after a fight with their father, but there is nothing more we can tell you.

After reading those few lines, the letter already crumply at the edges from the way he held onto it, Childe decided to immediately make his way back home. In his opinion it didn't matter if he returned sooner than ordered and that was a problem he will face later. For now, he wanted to know what had happened to you, because he couldn't, didn’t want to, believe that you left Morepesok... you promised that you would wait for him. But doubt crept into his heart and his mind - you were so frustrated with waiting, he noticed it before you even said anything that night. However, he kept ignoring it. It wasn't like that Childe didn't also wish for more, to build a home with you, to spend more time with you. The feeling of not being good enough for you, something your father and others in Morepesok made clear to him since your childhood together, and the fear of putting a visible target on your back by being by your side... all of it held him back.

The way back home only took him a few days and when he came close to his village, seeing the once so well-known roofs and chimney of the houses, he took a junction into the woods, making his way to the secret hideout of you two. When he arrived, he noticed how it looked lived in, at first a relive for Childe, until he saw the traces of a fight - and blood on the floor. He was quick to follow the trail of blood, the father he went away from the hideout the more blood was on the ground. Suddenly he could hear a strangers voice in the distance.

"Answer me you stupid bitch!", you felt a hand pulling you up by your hair, but you were already too tired, too beaten up and injured to even respond to that violent pull. All you tried to do was to keep your hands on your stomach, trying to stop the blood from gushing out. You could barely remember what had happened, how you got there. It all started over a week ago, when you father came with another suitor wanting to marry you. Like always you turned him down, saying you had no interest in marriage, this time however he wasn't as understand as the others were. The whole thing ended in you having a huge fight with your father about it, he tried to pressure you even more than usual to take that fella as your husband. It made you sick, you just couldn't stomach being around him anymore. You always wanted to make him happy, always feared of disappointing him. But this? Him asking you to marry a random person? It was something you just couldn't do. So you went away, ran out to the little hideout planning to stay there until Childe came back. You wanted to wait for him - you even got over your stupid pride and sent away a letter for him earlier this morning... and maybe this was your mistake. Carefully you tried not to be noticed by the people in your village, you didn’t want anyone to worry about you, however you also didn’t want to explain your disappearance for the last few days. The man who your father tried you to accept as a fiancé however seemed to have spotted you when you left the post-office. It was already too late when you realised that you were followed - the man made his way into the place that was only meant for you and Childe. After that your memory started to get blurry, how was that even possible it just had happened. He attacked you, you fought back, though the man was just stronger... you ran away, feeling the blood already coming from your stomach. Your body started to become weaker, your legs grew heavier and slower until you fell. Now he was above you, grabbing your hair and screaming. It was hard to even focus on what that man said to you, too tired grew your body and mind. 'I have to stay awake', you thought. It was clear that if you lost consciousness now... well, who knows what would happen then, you only knew it wouldn't be good. You had to wait for Childe, you had to be there when he got home.

There were more than a few things in Childes live he wished he never had to see. Seeing your limp body, blood streaming out of your stomach which you could barley cover with your hand, your hair in the hands of some stranger and your eyes struggling to stay open – yes, Childe wished this was something reserved for his nightmares, not for the reality he had to face now. It didn’t even take second for him to react at that sight, swiftly being next to that man and cutting his hand off with one of his blades, kicking the rest of him away. Childe would have loved to take his time with that man, torture him, make him regret that he was born, but what was more important was to stop your bleeding. Quickly Childe sat down next to you on the ground, using his scarf to stop the bleeding. “Ajax,” he could hear you whisper quietly. “Hey, I’m here, everything is fine, everything is going to be okay.” You desperately tried to keep your eyes open, to look at him. He was a mess, his eyes filled with fear and panic spread across his face. Never had you seen him with such an expression. For only what felt a few seconds you closed your eyes and then – “Hey, (Y/N) hey, open your eyes, talk to me”, you opened them and realised that you were in Childes arms now, his eyes switching from you to what was apparently the way to Morepesok. “Ajax…”, it was so cold. When did it became so cold again? “I waited for you and now you’re here… I waited. Kept my promise.” The last few words came out slurred. “Yes, I'm here, you don’t have to wait anymore. I promise you don’t have to wait for me ever again, just please-“ his breathing was heavy, he ran as fast as he could to the village in the hopes that the healers there could help you, that there was anyone who was able to help you now. “Please, don’t close your eyes, okay?” Before you could even answer him that you will try to keep them open you could already feel yourself slip out of conscious again. All you could say before everything went dark was his name again. “Ajax…”

The first thing you noticed was a warm hand on yours. Even before you opened your eyes you knew which hand it was. “Ajax,” you were a bit shocked at the sound of your own voice. It sounded so weak. You opened your eyes, seeing into those deep blue eyes looking at you. “(Y/N)”, he didn’t sound any better. Only now you started to notice the dark circles under his eyes and how his hair looked even messier than usual. Was he by your side the whole time? “How are you feeling?”. “Better than you apparently”, you joked, weakly grinning at him. He smiled back, rubbing the backside of your hand with his thumb. “I’m glad you’re better,” he replied quietly, looking down at the hand he was holding. “I’m glad you’re here.” At that his smile faded, turning into a sad expression and you already knew what this meant. “Don’t tell me…” “I’m sorry, I wasn’t even supposed to be here just yet and my early departure from Liyue apparently has caused some issues and… well, I was able to stay here until you woke up. The deal was when you wake up or-, well that doesn’t matter now. The deal was that I had to go back and fix the damage I caused once you wake up, which is honestly way more generous than I had anticipated.” You didn’t really understand what he was exactly talking about, you were still tired, but all you knew was that he had to go again. There wasn’t any energy left in your body to hold back the tears that were now falling down your face. Childe cupped your face in his hands, wiping away your tears with his thumb. “Hey, listen,” he said softly. “I promise you won’t have to wait for too long, when you recovered, I will send for you.” At this your ears peaked, looking at Childe with hopeful eyes. “Send for me, you mean-?”. “Yes, this time around I’ll be the one waiting for you to arrive in Liyue and not you’re waiting for me to come home.” At that you threw your arms around his neck wanting to hug him, causing you to hiss in pain. You forgot that you still had a stomach wound. “Careful now”, he laughed a bit at how enthusiastic you were about the news that you forgot your injury. “You promise that I will really join you in Liyue?”, you still couldn’t fully believe that he really was fine with it. “You make a pinkie promise, you keep it all your life. You break a pinkie promise, I throw you on the ice,” you leaned back and held your pinkie up in the air. Childe smiled at you softly, interlocking his pinkie with yours. “The cold will kill the pinkie that once betrayed your friend, the frost will freeze your tongue off, so you never lie again.”

[lonely-lost-soul]

Poff Poff

(Platonic C!Schlatt x Niece Reader)

Request 7: Can I request an Uncle Jschlatt and Niece reader? (Platonic ye) maybe Jschlatt could be out taking his niece to a late-night convenience store so they could late-night snack because both he and his niece had a bad day?

Requested by: Anonymous

AU where Puffy is Schlatt’s sister :)

~~~

Schlatt had, had a rough day, to say the least. He once again almost got banned for another scheme gone wrong. His election plans were set in motion but due to the statistics, it looked like he was losing and he was pissed off beyond belief. He had no plans for the rest of the day, all he wanted to do was relax with a drink and a cigarette, maybe watch a movie, just something to help him through the rest of this shitty ass day.

So, When Puffy had shown up on his doorstep and dropped you off to watch you while she went out his immediate response was no. He already smells like cigarette smoke and whiskey he shouldn’t be anywhere near a child. But one harsh glare from his sister made him shut his trap, he looked down at you and you looked just as unhappy to be there.

“Mom do I have to stay here, I’m old enough to stay on my own. Or even with Dream?” The angsty teen groaned tilting her head to the side, her little horns hitting her on the shoulder. Puffy let out a pinched huff pressing her fingers to her nose,

“You know Dreams out with George and Sapnap, plus you’re still too young to be left alone. So you’re staying with Uncle Schlatt until I get back from my date with Niki.”

“But-”

“Hush no butts. Now you.” She pointed a finger at Schlatt, “no smoking or drinking in front of my little Poff got it?” Schlatt rolled his eyes snarling over at his sister,

“Have a little faith in me, sis.” She shot him a look, and he wilted a little bit,

“Be good.”

“I will.” You groaned,

“Not talking to you.”

“I will.” The goat-man grumbled under his breath, finally seeming satisfied his sister departed leaving her equally hotheaded daughter by his side. “So...you smoke?”

“No Uncle Schlatt I don’t smoke,” You sighed a frown on your face usually that comment got a least a snort.

Oh no, not teenage angst.

You walked past him into his humble abode and plopped down on his couch, it also smelled like smoke, “How’s Quackity?”

“You mean Flatty Patty?” He smirked plopping down beside you scratching at his ear absentmindedly. You snickered, there it was,

“No I don’t, you know he hates when you call him that.” You nudged him gently, Schlatt ruffled your hair minding your horns. You huffed at him moving to fix your tousled hair,

“Alright, kid you got me. Now, what’s up with you?”

“Nothings wrong.” You muttered crossing your arms over your chest defensively, he shrugged his shoulders not bothering to push you. “Okay fine!” You blurted throwing your hands in the air, the man raised an eyebrow.

“I didn’t say anything-”

“It’s just Dream’s not been home lately and Mom’s not taking it well. Instead of trying to watch out for him n’ shit, she’s going on dates with Niki.” You groaned falling back against the couch, “When he does come home it’s just for food and to pet, his cat then leave. He barely even says hi to us anymore...we used to be so close. Now he just doesn’t care.” Your face fell and he frowned, Schlatt winced a little he was never known to be very good with comforting people let alone comforting women. He placed a hand on your shoulder and squeezed,

“He’ll come around kid, family’s, family you know?” He watched you shrug sadly and he rubbed his chin with his other hand.

He needed another cigarette right now.

You looked up at him and saw him tense, “You can smoke I don’t care.” You gave a little shrug, “either way I’m leaving here smelling like smoke Mom won’t be able to tell the difference.”

“Heh.” He chuckled roughly rubbing the back of his neck, “thank’s kid, I owe you one.” You nodded and watched as Schlatt pulled out his package of cigarettes and frowned seeing it was empty, “Ah fuck me.”

“You out?”

“Yeah. Would you be opposed to a quick drugstore run?” You shrugged your shoulders, indifferent.

“Sure could be fun. Could I get a snack?”

“You could get whatever you want, not payin’ for it.” You snorted loudly covering your mouth to hide your snort. “What? If you can steal it you can get whatever you want.”

“I’m not stealing anything Uncle Schlatt, that’s wrong.”

“Ugh. What’s my goody-two-shoes sister been teaching you?” His nose scrunched up in displeasure. “As long as you don’t get caught anything is legal kid. Stick with me and you’ll learn way more tips than that. I'm a professional.”

“Right cause doing that hasn’t gotten banned before.” You smirked and he glared at you pulling on your horn. The movement caused you to yelp in pain. “Joke! I was joking! Ow!” He muttered a ‘you better be’ before standing up from his couch. You followed him from the couch as he made his way to the door, he held it open for you and you snickered “What a gentlemen.”

“Don’t slander my name like that again.” He scoffed, “Follow me, don’t wander off.” Schlatt commanded as you followed him down to the nearest convenience store, “Go get something you like.” He shooed you off and requested the pack of cigarettes he needed making small talk with the store clerk while you wandered around. “Hurry up kid or you get nothing!”

“I’m coming!” You yelled back in your arms was a pack of sour patch watermelons, a chocolate bar, and some chips, “I got you chips.” Schlatt tried to bite back a smile but it came through anyway and it only made you smile in tandem. He paid for your goodies and you both headed out to go sit outside on a nearby bench. As you sat down you turned to stare at him dead in the eyes, he felt a little unsettled and watched as you slowly pulled out a little bag of popcorn. “I stole it.”

“Holy fuck kid you did it!” He burst into laughter ruffling your hair once again, “I’m proud of you.” You beamed brightly sitting up straighter on the bench, you opened the bag and popped a piece into your mouth. Schlatt reached forward and stole a handful from you, you ripped the bag away defensively and he snickered.

“Soo…” You trailed off softly and he raised an eyebrow at you, “You seemed to have a bad day too. You wanna talk about it?” His eyes widened in surprise, he didn’t take you to be so observant, then again you were Puffy’s child.

“Alright Poff,” he clicked his tongue distastefully and began to recount his woes to his child niece. Halfway through he pulled out a freshly bought cigarette and stuck it between his teeth. He pulled out a lighter flicking it a few times before lighting the cancer stick in his mouth and taking a long drag. You nodded your head in response and seemed to be listening intently to him, as he talked he felt his facade crumbling. The goat man slumped across the bench and was openly ranting to you at this point. “So yeah, that’s how my days going. Guess we both are doing pretty shitily huh?” You pursed your lips,

“Why don’t you ask Quackity to combine both of your votes the day of the election?” He looked at you with a raised eyebrow, you flushed nervously under his stern gaze. “Then you can be the President and he can be your Vice President or something...that way you both win in a way, ya know?”

“Kid…” Schlatt murmured thoughtfully rubbing his chin, “you’re a genius!” He wrapped you up in a hug, “this kid! I love ya! You’re too smart for your good!” You beamed letting out a happy laugh in response, “I’m contacting him immediately. Wilbur and Tommy don’t stand a fucking chance against me now.”

“I’m glad I can make you happy.” You snuggled into his arms but recoiled a little bit at the overwhelming scent of fresh smoke on his clothes, “you deserve it.” Schlatt felt his heart shutter a little at the inclination that he deserves to be happy, he was about to respond with a joke but you started talking again. “You’re a good guy Uncle. You don’t let people see it often but you’re an okay dude,” he watched you fiddle with your fingers as his eyebrows furrowed. He chuckled a little,

“Most people would disagree with you kid.”

“Well most people don’t know like mom and I do,” You pointed out, “Plus if you weren’t a nice guy you wouldn’t have tried to cheer me up.”

“I needed smokes.” He pointed out motioning to the stick in his mouth and you frowned a little.

Good, things were getting too mushy for his liking.

He was about to smirk in triumph but you turned towards him a determined look on your face. “My point still stands, for example, if you weren’t that great of a guy you wouldn’t have watched me today. You would’ve shut the door in Puffy’s face or you wouldn’t have listened and tried to comfort me. Therefore, my point still stands,” You shoved your finger in his face and he grumbled in displeasure. You smirked instead of him, getting the signature family smirk on your face it only made him frown deeper.

“Alright fine, but you tell anyone I’m slightly nice you’re cut off.”

“Cut off from what? You’re inheritance? You’re broke as shit.”

“You’re way too much like your mother.”

“Aw, you think so?” You flushed fondly, “Thanks!” You chirped proudly, puffing out your chest a little bit. He scoffed tugging on your horns once more and smirked as you yelped, “Would you stop doing that!”

“Nah I don’t think I will. Especially because I know it’s bothering you.”

“Asshole.”

“That’s more like it.”

You leaned back against the back of the bench with a loud groan throwing some popcorn at him. He snickered loudly, watching you closely all in all Schlatt did enjoy today. He kissed his teeth a little, you were way smarter than everyone seemingly gave you credit for, especially Dream. When Schlatt wins this election maybe he’d give you a position in his cabinet. He thinks you would like that, finally being able to show people who’s boss and what you’re capable of, yeah that’s what he’ll do. Reluctantly Schlatt pulled you close so your head rested against his shoulder, you smiled up at him softly, all in all, it was a good end to his day.

[stellartales]

zhongli ▪︎ glazed moon

pairing: zhongli x traveler!reader

genre(s): comfort + mild angst + fluff

summary: liyue harbor is once again preparing for another festival — the mid-autumn festival. but somehow she simply couldn't bring herself to join the others in the celebration. definitely not when her heart is aching in melancholy for her missing twin. — | m.list

background: this scenario takes place during the mid-autumn festival - as quoted from wikipedia - it is the second-most important holiday after Chinese New Year with a history dating back 3,000 years, when China's emperors worshipped the moon for bountiful harvests.[2] The celebration is called Chuseok (autumn eve) in Korea, Tsukimi (moon-viewing) in Japan and Tết Trung Thu (Mid-Autumn Festival) in Vietnam

this event celebrated by the chinese is usually spent eating mooncakes and drinking teas. lanterns are also an important aspect of this festival. unlike the yuanxiao fesitval or mingxiao festival (which is the fictional festival featuring best boy Xiao in GI) where lanterns are released into the sky, lanterns are hand-held. this is a festival i celebrate every year hence i'm familiar with it — feel free to read up about this on wiki!

a/n: don't mind me, this is just a random idea that popped in my head. i'm in the mood for some angsty stuff these days so just had to get it out. Flute version of 无羁 (Wu Ji) from the drama 'Untamed' was the song which inspired my angsty mood while typing this. pardon my errors (I may have missed them and i kinda wrote this on a spur sooooo yea)

Please do me a favor and reblog this. Thank youuuu ❤

the vitality of liyue harbor has always been astounding; an envy of the seven nations.

bright, bustling streets even in the darkness of nights was enough to show the nature of the city.

though, today it was a different kind of bustle. stores were already closed; even the nocturnal businesses that one would only see at night.

the moon had been bright and round the past few nights while the people busied themselves for another festival to come.

— the mid-autumn festival, an annual festival celebrated by the people of liyue or at least that was what zhongli explained yesterday when he extended an invitation to her to join him and others in moon-gazing today.

tonight, the moon shone bright and full in the clear dark sky, seemingly more so than the previous nights.

strategically rooted to the ground of a spacious balcony overlooking the gentle waves below, the stone tables were in a perfect spot beneath the brilliant moon.

colorful mooncakes of various flavors and teacups filled with steaming tea laid before her.

she sat at one of the round stone tables with some funeral parlor staff and of course, zhongli himself who has been rather busy ever since she arrived—

the cheerful chatters and laughter drew her eyes away from the empty seat beside her and to the tables across theirs.

his archon days were over, he said.

he was simply trying to experience a mundane life as 'zhongli' now, as the geo archon had put it when she expressed her surprise at his involvement with a festival fabricated by the mortals' minds.

and indeed—

her gaze idled on him.

— he was doing it too well.

illuminated by the golden glow the table lanterns emanated, the cordial and relaxed atmosphere was warmed by attentive eyes and smiling lips.

all on him.

apparently, some things never changed. whether he was rex lapis or zhongli, he carried an alluring elegance and charisma. clinging to every word and his occasional hand gestures, they were like moths drawn to a flame.

she could understand why; she liked hearing him talk. she would have gone over too, if not...if not for this weight on her heart.

it has been nearly a year since she was in teyvat looking for her twin. these few days in the harbor, the full moon was a constant reminder of how time has passed, and yet...

a heavy sigh escaped her. a longing gleam waned in her eyes as she lifted her gaze to the sky.

they used to talk and eat under a full moon just like this, a bitter ache clenched her heart.

her teeth sank into her lower lip as it trembled.

please...not now. her hands curled into shaking fists as she tried to hold back the tears threatening to leave her eyes.

not now. not at this party. she silently pleaded with herself, her squared shoulders shaking. it took all her willpower to not let the dam break.

but one managed to escape her anyway.

—shit.

she was up on her feet fast and slipped away from the party as subtly as she could.

stumbling out of the party half-blind with tears wasn't exactly the best situation to remember about the cloak meant to keep her warm on an autumn night.

luckily, she didn't end up falling off the stairs she currently sat on.

autumn in liyue was typically not cold, but tonight seemed especially so.

she shivered to the chilly breeze brushing against her back. goosebumps crawled across her skin, particularly on the areas her dress failed to protect against the cold.

she couldn't quite bring herself to go back for the cloak. not with the mess she was now.

the sight of the round moon above wavered in her vision as tears quietly trailed down her cheeks.

under the vast, seemingly endless night sky, she felt small...

— her knees were drawn closer to her chest, curled fingers digging into her dress.

...and extremely powerless.

where is he? why can't she find him? is he even in teyvat? Is he even...still alive? does he even exist anymore?

—a dreading sense of hopelessness echoed in her heart and summoned another wave of tears wavering her vision.

under this wide, endless sky and its luminous moon, she felt alone, truly alone in the presence of the joyous cacophony of laughter and playful yells coming from the festival she left behind.

a nasty voice prompted by the noise taunted her — of how no one would notice, even if she were to walk right out of liyue harbor right now.

drowning in harsh, relentless thoughts, she failed to notice the gaze of a pair of wise, golden eyes on her back, soft with concern.

long legs covered the distance between them in a quiet, graceful stride; the gentle clacks of his loafers whenever their heels hit the ground slipped past her notice too.

not even when he climbed down the steps to settle himself next to her, a step above hers.

not even the inevitable proximity between their bodies caused by the short stairs spacious for one but narrow for two.

only until his coat was off his shoulders and wrapped around hers—

"why the tears on the mid-autumn festival?"

—she jolted with a sharp gasp, her widening eyes snapping over to him.

the calm and prodding gaze that met hers was accompanied by the tender brush of his thumb across her left cheek, right under her tearing eye before switching over to her other.

"zh-zhongli?"

she stayed stunned, unsure she was feeling so because someone noticed she had left or was it because of this simple gesture.

zhongli has always been a mentor-like figure to her. his words, his wise gazes, the comforting pets he occasionally gave on her head and back had always reminded her of how she was a mere child in his eyes.

but tonight...this, nothing about the gentleness his hand or his eyes emanate felt normal. or was she just delirious?

the strange stutter of her heart caused by the hand on her face, the blush heating up her cheeks made her tear her gaze away from his, flustered.

zhongli let his hand drop back onto his knee, but his eyes stayed.

crossing her arms to hold onto his coat sitting on her shoulders, she thought hard to recall his question.

"i can't help thinking about my brother, that's all." she looked back at him, smiling.

a smile he thought reminded him of the moon when it was not yet full — a quiet light melancholic with vague sadness.

"don't worry about me, i'll be fine." she slipped a glance over her shoulder in the direction of the festival. "you should go back there, zhongli, they need you. what's mid-autumn festival for liyue without you?"

she moved to remove the coat from her shoulders, but a hand wrapped around her wrist stopped her.

"but what's mid-autumn festival without you, my dear friend?"

zhongli regarded her intently, his eyes boring into hers for a second before shifting to focus on his coat.

there was something else in his eyes when they return to hers; it came and went in a flicker. "...keep this on, it's chilly today."

"thanks..." she murmured, her shoulders sinking as she yet again returned her thoughts to her brother.

"aether..." the pain she guarded showed on her face. "will i ever be able to see him again?"

tears started to well up in her eyes once again.

"i'm sorry, zhongli, i'm so sorry..." a quiet sob broke through, "today is supposed to be about the mid-autumn festival, and yet...here you are, listening to me."

zhongli's mouth opened then snapped close.

he always knew what to say whenever she was in a pinch. however, it was tears this time, and he wasn't exactly sure about what he should do about his body's urge to extend his arms out to her.

he was already more than a thousand years old.

as the former geo archon, he was the immovable rock. emotions and impulses he used to hold within himself in his younger days were buried deep under the sands of time...or at least they should be.

so where did this come from? was this strange stir an inevitable part of being a mortal?

"you know what?"

her movement to rise from the spot beside him turned his head back to her.

resolute hardened the glint in her tearing eyes, "i don't want to hold you back any longer,"

her fingers curled into a shaky fist, nails digging into her palm.

"....the people need you. i-i think i should just go bac—"

his hand flew out before he could think any further; his body was faster than his thoughts this time.

her next breath puffed out of her, in surprise and bewilderment as her body was tugged and cocooned by a breathing warmth before she could understand what happened.

and when she did, her eyes flew wide.

cheek pressed against his neck, she found herself held to his chest. she could feel his chin atop her head and his arms around her.

he was beside her a moment ago, and now he was behind sharing the same step as her, broad enough to accommodate them. was she the one who moved? or did he?

she didn't know how but she couldn't find the energy to care —the scent of musk and lingering tea engulfing her was an alluring comfort that made her want to stop trying.

so warm. really, really warm.

and so was his voice. "...but you need me." a hand caressed the back of her head.

there was a pause before a feigned cough ensued. "i meant, this."

[starfirette]

Corynorhinus

✨very short. My first battinson fic. I wrote it literally laying in bed on my phone, when I should be sleeping. This fic is such shit and I might delete it LOL

✨ angsty, I went for sad vibes here, I stole some Batman Begins dialogue.

✨ masterlist ~ more battinson to come ❤️

Raindrops pattered the canvas of your black umbrella.

The cloudy sky and the wind chill made you shiver, your teeth rattling in your skull as you watched Bruce hide behind the door.

"You haven't been answering my calls," you said, loudly to be heard over the thunder storm.

Bruce's soft eyes flickered down. "I've been working," he said.

For a brief moment only thunder and rain played between you two.

Bruce carefully opened the door wider, finally revealing his full figure. Bloody gauze and prickly sutures poked from the collar of Bruce's dark tee shirt.

He posed awkwardly at the threshold, staring at a spot on the ground with hard eyes.

"You could look at me, at least," you said firmly. You refused to lose your composure.

Bruce's eyes dragged up, the movement looking painful on his pale eyelids. Purple shadows kissed the bags of his eyes, the darkness like the night he was so fond of. He loved it so much that it had become part of him; the night was a physical feature on Bruce Wayne's face, in those purple shades much like bruises.

"You're sad," Bruce muttered. His words were strained. The thick weight of his voice betrayed his heart.

"I never hear from you," you said. You shrugged, your body shifting back and forth with uneasy distress. You were moments away from falling apart.

It was perhaps a pathetic display. The most pathetic that Bruce Wayne had ever likely seen. You knew Bruce well enough to know that's what he was thinking behind those somber eyes.

You stood on the doorstep of the derelict house, trying to shield yourself from the stinging rain. Beyond Bruce was darkness; more darkness, more shadows.

"I would have never come back if it weren't for you," you told him. You gripped the umbrella for dear life. It was the only physical relic keeping you grounded, and without it you worried you would collapse.

Your words trembled into the rain.

As thick drops pounded the canvas of your umbrella, Bruce stared at you with furrowed brows. He looked so expectant: so ready to listen to your woes.

"After all the death and loss I've felt, I didn't think there was anything left here for me. Gotham felt like a graveyard. But then you...you were selfish."

"You made me fall in love with you. You lured me in with unspoken promises. Security, loyalty, long lasting companionship. I was so willing to leave everything behind to be with both of you. With Bruce and the Bat. I thought that maybe they were one in the same. That Bruce Wayne was the Bat in some weird way.And then it all went to shit. I know that Bruce Wayne loves me. But I don't think that He does."

Bruce's eyes didn't waver as he watched you fidget in place.

Squeezing your eyes shut, you could feel tears slide down your face.

This was to be expected.

You're sure that Bruce knew what you'd been leading up to all this time. There's no way he could be so ignorant. He knew that you'd eventually leave.

And he'd let it happen. He didn't try to stop it. He didn't try to fix the problems that plagued your mind and heart.

You shrugged, rain slipping down the back of the umbrella and splashing the back of your legs. "Maybe one day, when Gotham doesn't need Batman anymore, I'll see him again. The man that loves me. But I can't wait. I can't put my life on hold for him. For either of them."

"Where will you go?" Bruce asked, his voice just a slight decibel higher.

You kicked the ground to show off the black, velvet heels you begrudgingly wore. "Spain. Back to my aunt's estate. I'll stay there for a while. Until it feels better."

Until I'm over you.

The unspoken words littered the air between you.

Bruce used a bandaged hand to brush the fringe of hair from his eyes. He looked handsome with his hair out of his face. He looked like the man you'd fallen in love with.

"I hope that you take care of yourself. And of Alfred. Okay?"

"I love you," Bruce mumbled.

A painful smile spread over your mouth. "Don't say that to me."

You expected him to follow you down the steps of the worn grounds, of the Wayne estate he had recently reaquired. But each clack of your heels against the pavement marked the growing distance between you two. Your heart begged you to turn and look back, to take just one more glance-but you knew better than to torture yourself that way.

Thunder cracked throughout the Gotham countryside as you lowered your umbrella, no longer able to manage the strength and keep it up.

Cold rain sliced your skin. The drops washed your tears away.

You slid into the backseat of your car, pulling the seatbelt in place. "I'm ready," you said softly to the driver.

The car rolled out of the driveway, merging onto the main road. You watched the old Wayne country house grow smaller and smaller in the distance. You hoped that Bruce was still in the doorway, doing just the same with your car. But you knew better than to hold onto such childish hopes and dreams.

You rejected the heat that the car's vents had to offer. You closed them up, despite being cold, and you curled in your seat, leaning your head against the window.

With your arms wrapped around yourself, you tried not to shiver; warmth would only make you sad. It would only remind you of Bruce's arms around you, of the crackling fire place in his bedroom, or of the hot chocolate you drank with Alfred during the insomniatic hours of the night.

You were exhausted.

Your eyelids were heavy, as if threaded with ship anchors. You curled into the warmth of the cashmere coat, taking a deep breath. You'd reject the heat for now. You'd reject the heat until your heart could bear the weight of the emotions.

You'd reject it until your coat no longer smelled like Bruce Wayne.

[volleychumps]

Heyy idk if this'll make sense but,, I'm ugly (or at least not as pretty as others) and a lot of times guys would be dared to say "oh my friend likes you" while laughing at me. It made me very insecure growing up and makes me suspicious of compliments now... idk if anyone can relate but can you write a fluffy comfort scenario with Bokuto, Kageyama, or Tsukki? Maybe with reader laughing at a confession because she thinks it's a joke or something? Thank you, I love your work and stay healthy ❤️

Aw bby~ I’m sure you’re absolutely goregous <3 hope you enjoy your request!

Insecure S/O Reacting To a Confession (Bokuto, Kageyama, Tsukishima)

This is set in a time in which you’ve developed trust issues because a confession before had been a joke- so a little angsty ngl 

---------------------------------------------

Bokuto 

“She’s not coming, is she?” 

“Calm down. You told her to meet you after school- the bell let out less than five minutes ago.” Akaashi’s voice sounded through the spiker’s phone as Bokuto releases a bigger sigh than he expected. Nervousness tingled through his muscles while the burly boy seemed to tremble in both excitement and fear for what was to come, leaning against one of the many exits to the school as golden eyes scoped the area for your figure. 

“Today’s the day, Akaashi, I just know it!” 

“Yeah. You said that yesterday. And the day before that one. Not to mention every day for the past month-” 

“I think she’s coming!!” A hand slipped out of his pants pocket as he pushes off the wall giddily. 

“Well, be careful- I don’t know if you heard about it, but-” 

“See you at practice, my #1 Wingman!” 

Bokuto ends the call, the last thing he hears being a sigh of Akaashi’s at his abrupt cut off. That could wait. A growing grin began at Bokuto’s lips as you, confused, approached him with a crumpled paper in your hand- looking as beautiful as ever in the eyes of the ace. 

“Bokuto-san...?” 

“You made it!” 

He couldn’t see the hesitation in your steps, or the nervousness in your movements for the national-known volleyball spiker had his gold eyes downcasted at his feet, a hand nervously coming up to rest on the back of his neck as he internally prepares himself. 

“Was there something you needed from me?” You wrung your hands out, biting your lip as you seemed to fidget in place, the scenario being all to familiar with what you once had to go through. However, you knew better- it just simply wasn’t possible. 

Bokuto was always friendly towards you, but previous events had placed a limit in your head on just how far that friendliness just happened to extend. Until- 

“Y/N...do you maybe want to go out with me?” 

Your jaw slackened a little as you still in shock, watching as the boy you thought was eons out of your league blushed a little, squeezing his eyes tight as the question came out rushed, the words fumbling over each other. 

But you still heard it. 

Your chest sunk and heat flamed in your cheeks as you push out your first instinct- a laugh. A laugh bubbled up in your throat at the question, and Bokuto opened his eyes, confusion and anxiety rising in his stomach at the sound that still made his heart race. Nervously, he began laughing too. 

“Alright.” You make out between giggles. “Who put you up to this?” 

All laughter stopped on his end as you continue to giggle, but your eyes were a tad bit poignant as your fists clenched at your sides. Bokuto straightens, furrowing his brows at the ridiculous question. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean, this is a prank right?” Your voice wobbled. “Was it Rui? His friend Droy?” 

“Y/N, what-?” 

“You shouldn’t play with girls’ feelings like that, you know?” You continue, smiling yet your eyes screamed of another story. “But in my case, it’s funny- right?” 

Bokuto blinked, mouth agape at the accusation in your words as you take a shaky breath, trying not to show weakness as Bokuto takes a careful step in front of you. Was this what Akaashi was trying to tell him? 

“Y/N, I’m serious!” The ace exclaimed, causing you to finally meet his eyes with your slightly watery ones. “You’re absolutely goregous, there’s no way this is a prank!” 

“Y-You’re taking this too far...” 

“I’m not, because there isn’t anything to take!” Bokuto grabs your hand in his, intertwining your pinkies as you can’t help but smile a little at the childish gesture. “I promise you, Y/N, I like you! Way too much, I’ve been trying to tell you for the past month now, but...you scare me. In a I’ve-never-had-these-feelings before kind of way.” 

You find yourself leaning into his palm as Bokuto smiles, golden eyes gleaming genuinely as he cups your face. “Who made you think of yourself this way?” 

“N-No one in particular...” You lie, looking off to the side as you feel yourself being tugged gently into the sweet boy’s chest, causing you to yelp a little as Bokuto crosses a boundary, digging his face into the juncture between your neck and shoulder. 

“Please.” You stop trying to push him away at the sincerity in his voice. “Can I change that? I can. I promise you I can, if you give me a chance!” 

Shakily, you look up to the sky, feeling Bokuto’s warm breath on your neck as he spoke, wondering if this was worth learning to trust again, your arms wrapping around his mid-section as you did so. 

Your voice quiets, cracking slightly as you hold him back just a little tighter. 

“One chance. Don’t let me regret this.”

Kageyama

“This is ridiculous, you moron!” 

“Trust me, she’s gonna love it Kageyama-Kun!” Hinata flashes his setter a big thumbs up as Kageyama groans, glaring into the bouquet of flowers with pink dusted across his cheeks. After Hinata had snuck a horribly written note into your shoe locker- Kageyama couldn’t put his confession off anymore, much to the setter’s dismay. Admiring you from afar had been enough, and confessing you face to face had once been a daydream- 

“Can’t I just, you know, text her?” The raven haired boy attempts to escape one more time as Hinata points a finger to the spot where he was standing stubbornly. 

“Nope! As if you could get her number anyway-”  Hinata dodges the hit coming his way with ease, sidestepping as he continues his tangent. “So you’re going to stand right there and wait for Y/N-chan to come! I’m going home now, and tomorrow- you better have a newly minted girlfriend!” 

“I should’ve never asked you for advice.” 

“See you tomorrow, and you’re welcome.” 

Kageyama scoffs, snarky reply falling on silent lips as Hinata mounts his bike and takes off before he can get it out, leaving the blue-eyed setter standing at military position near the courtyard, red roses tightened in his grasp around the less thorny areas. He hoped Hinata was smart enough to not mix up the two locations.

“Kageyama-Kun!” 

Said boy almost drops his flowers when you round the corner, now changed out of your school shoes as Kageyama swallows- a futile attempt to aid his now dry mouth. You took small steps towards him as you find a lump growing in your throat at the scene before you, memories flashing in your mind at what once had been. 

Regardless, you managed a tight smile as Kageyama blinks once. Then twice as if to make sure this was really happening. 

“You...wanted to see me about something?” You question formally, ignoring the red hue of the roses as Kageyama stutters out a response, bright blue eyes darting all over the courtyard. 

“I...um....you are....UGH-” 

In any other circumstance, you might’ve found this cute- but the only thing you could think of was how good he was at acting. 

“Take your time.” Your eyes dim down a little as the familiar unease rises in your stomach. 

“D-Date!” Kageyama manages, the pink on his cheeks now turning into a bright red. “I want to g-go on a date with you...!” 

You press your lips together as a heat pricks the corner of your eyes, the one image you didn’t want to remember blurring perfectly over the one in front of you. 

.... Again?

Kageyama curses, offering you the roses with one hand shakily as the back of his hand covers his mouth, blue eyes seeming to glare off to the side in utter regret. “I heard you like flowers, s-so....”

“You don’t need to do this, Kageyama-Kun.” You find yourself saying, surprised at how stable your voice was as Kageyama’s arm slackens a little, the bouqet lowering in height as he takes in your words- in his case, your response. 

“It’s cruel, you know? I get it- you’re popular, attractive, and people want to be your friend- but this? I know I can’t be with someone like you the way I am now, so you have to show me firsthand?”

“Huh?” 

You chuckle humorlessly at the genuine confusion in his voice before laughing a little. “It’s hilarious, isn’t it? Poor, naive, ugly girl believes for just a second that the boy she likes wants her back.” 

Kageyama’s eyes widen a little, still trying to process what you’re saying as the roses fall slack at his side. But the only thing he’s able to get out, is- 

“Wait, you like me?” 

You spin on your heel, flustered you admitted it, before beginning to walk off. 

“Goodbye, Kageyama-Kun.” 

“W-Wait!” Before he can stop himself, he finds himself grabbing you from behind to stop your leaving, your eyes widening as the bouqet of flowers remains tightened in his grasp as he does so, your back against his chest. The aromatic scent fills your nose as he successfully stops you from going anywhere. 

“I-I don’t know why you think you’re ugly or any of those things, but you aren’t.” Kageyama mumbles quickly, and you’re shocked to see that he’s trembling at the touch. “But I wasn’t lying, or trying to play you. I want to go on a date with you...and if you like me too, there shouldn’t be an issue, right?” 

“Shit!” Kageyama releases you right away, and you step away subconciously as you find yourself believing him, a hand over the clothed part of your chest as you do, cheeks blooming with a pink of their own. 

“...I think I’d like that.” 

“Like what?” Kageyama questions obliviously as you groan, blushing in a way that made the setter want to admire you even closer than from afar. 

“The date, don’t make me say it!” 

The blue-eyed setter releases a sigh of relief, his heart being sent on an emotional rollercoaster coming to an end as he chuckles the slightest bit at your embarrassed stature, offering the roses again in a now relaxed-manner. 

“Right. So can you maybe take the damn flowers and be my girlfriend?” 

Tsukishima

“I regret this. I’m going home.” 

“Tsukki! No!” Yamaguchi whines, pulling on his friend’s sleeve for the second time in six minutes. 

“She isn’t coming. Waiting outside her classroom is creepy anyway. She might’ve even already gone home.” Tsukishima says straight on, glancing at his childhood friend before the freckled boy could interject. “What are you even doing here?” 

“Moral support!” 

“Yeah, could you maybe...do that somewhere else?” 

Yamaguchi sniffs once, frowning. “I get that you’re nervous, Tsukki, but don’t take it out on me. Text me later and send Y/N my regards, okay?” 

“I’m not nervous.” The tall blonde claims, swiping through his playlist when in reality- the butterflies in his stomach said otherwise.

“That’s all you got out of that?” Yamaguchi sweat drops, shouldering his bag a little more before waving as he begins to walk off. “Be nice to Y/N!” 

“Wasn’t gonna kill her.” Tsukishima mumbles to no one as he’s left by his lonesome in the empty school corridor after school had ended, mostly everyone leaving or going to attend their club activities. He knew from Yachi who shared your class- that you stayed a little after school to study for a bit before leaving. 

Tsukishima had discovered about his emotional surge towards you when you had visited practice one day to drop off Yachi’s notebook- only to notice you more and more each time you had passed him by to the point where you would smile and wave while greeting him by name. Soon, all other girls seemed to become see-through, leaving you bright in a sea of unfamiliar heads. 

“Crap!” You stumble back, a relieved laugh filling the corridor as the blonde blinks, wondering how he had gotten so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t even seen you emerge or make himself known. 

“You scared me, Tsukki!” You whine, shifting your bag upon your shoulder before blinking in confusion. “Wait, what are you doing here? Is the volleyball club off today-?” 

“Go out with me.” 

Your breath hitches at the sudden attack. 

Tsukishima remains indifferent, thankful he was able to even say it, as he shoved his hands in his pockets, eyeing you seriously through his spectacles before you find yourself back there again. Back where your trust was stripped and your pride was stomped on before you smile- a smile that was anything but cheerful. 

“That’s not a very funny joke, Tsukki.” You laugh a little, hand tightening around your bag strap as you refuse to meet his eyes, your gaze falling on his shoes as you become overwhelmed with past events. 

“I’m not joking. Go out with me.” He repeats, not asking, but in a way where it sounded like he was basically telling you. 

“...How far are you willing to go?” You feel wetness brim your eyes, but your smile still remains- shaky yet present- as your voice cracks differently from the way you used to call his name. 

“What the hell are you-?” 

A smirk and multiple laughs ring in your head from your memories before you finally snap. 

 “Stop screwing around, alright?”

Tsukishima’s brow quirks up once, and in the next few moments, you gasp as your back is suddenly touching a nearby locker- Tsukishima’s hand resting by your side to create the illusion of entrapment as he leans in to you, and you don’t have to look up to know that his gaze was searing into you with a mixture of frustration and something else you couldn’t pinpoint. 

“Who’s screwing around?” His voice was quiet and irritable, and you swallow the lump in your throat as a few stray tears slip. 

“I’m just a joke, right?” You mumble, barely audible as you breathe in his scent from decreased proximity. “You boys always toy with girls like they’re your little playthings-” 

“Are you talking about that shitty prank that bastard pulled on you a few months back?” 

Your eyes snap up before you can stop them. “You...know about that?” 

“Why the hell are we here wasting our breaths on them?” Tsukishima questions, irritation evident in his tone. “I don’t do these kinds of things, ever, and you seriously think I’d be here telling you I like you as some kind of shit joke? Give me a break.” 

You blink, believing his harsh words as Tsukishima sighs, relaxing his neck so his head falls on your shoulder. 

“On the bright side you finally looked at me. Understood, I hear you loud and clear.” 

You bite your lip when he moves to step away from you, your hands clasping at the sides of his shirt before you can stop yourself. 

“I...I’ll go out with you, Tsukki.” 

The blonde’s eyes widen a fraction as you bury your head in his chest. 

“Just...please please don’t be like the others.” 

“I thought I told you.” Tsukki’s pointer finger prods at your chin, causing you to look up at him as he leans down so your noses brush. 

“You’re wasting your breath on the wrong thing, Y/N.” 

---------------------

General Works: @takemetovalhalla @savemesteeb @kasandrafaye @dreebbles

[beelzegrub]

can I request what would happen if we summon them while we're on human realm bc we missed them so much but lose so much blood in the process I don't really know I'm a sucker for these kind of things. thank youu!!

EDIT FROM FUTURE OP: This ask has been sitting in my drafts for months half finished and I finally found the motivation to finish. Anon, I’m so sorry for the wait. You’re a sweetheart ❤️ I was only able to do the three eldest though and I’m so sorry!!

Um hello??? I love this so much thank you!!! I thought it was kind of silly to go through all of that at the end of season 2 to just.... not use it so I’m excited about this!!!! (Sorry if this is too angsty my brain got super pumped about this and took off.

PS the request said “we” so I used a reader insert type of style. Hope that’s what you were looking for :)

MC Summons Their Demon, but at What cost?

Trigger warning!!!! Self harm/blood

How long had it been since you’d seen the him? Weeks? Months? Who knows. They all blended together after while. All you knew is that it had been too long. Why was this all so tedious? Solomon had promised to teach you the summoning ritual as soon as you could handle it. Why hadn’t he done so? Did he not trust you? Was he purposely keeping you away from the them? Surely you were strong enough at this point. Enough with the waiting. You wouldn’t sit around and any longer! You needed to see them. You needed to see him.

You flipped messily through book after book. Solomon had given you many to study for your apprenticeship. There had to be something about summoning in one of these!

“Hmm..”

You carefully read through the worn pages of one of the larger and dustier tomes. Something about this one called to you. You zoned out as you took in the information on the pages, following context clues until you found what you were looking for. The images drawn on the page seemed foreign and surprised you. A summoning circle? You had expected as much, but the repeated mentions of ‘sacrifice’ and ‘blood oath’ seemed ancient and outdated. You couldn’t help but notice there was no mention of sentimental possessions of the demon you were trying to summon as well. You were sure none of the brothers would suggest a summoning if it were dangerous though...

Out of options and out of patience, you gathered your courage and set up the ritual to the best of your ability. Things seemed to match the books instructions, at least. All that was left was the blood. You stepped into the middle of the circle and closed brought a sewing needle to the top of your finger. The book hadn’t specified the amount of blood needed, but it was better to start small, you reasoned. You closed your eyes and pricked it, quickly squeezing a single drop of blood into the center of the circle, and said the name of the person you had been desperate to see.

Lucifer

The day of the summoning, Lucifer had felt this nagging sense of danger from the moment he opened his eyes. He was so sure it was one of his brothers about to cause trouble for him once again.

Lucifer spent the day preparing for the worst. Had Mammon stolen something of vast importance? Did Levi buy another piece of cursed media? Surely Beel hadn’t eaten a poisonous dish??

That evening, tired from being on edge all day, he had retired to his study, hoping some music would help calm his nerves. He settled into his chair and closed his eyes.

Then came the pull.

It had been ages since he had felt a sensation like this. When was the last time someone had tried to summon him? Hundreds of years ago, it had to be. And it never felt as strong as this force pulling him now.

There had once been a cult of devil worshipers who sacrificed many of their members for a chance to pull him to the human world, quite surprised to find out their sacrifices had been in vain, considering Lucifer wasn’t interested in a bunch of worthless humans. But even then the tug hadn’t been this strong. Sure, he could still resist it, but the strength of it still left him awestruck. Who had the power to call to him like this?

“Lucifer!”

His blood ran cold. Immediately, he stopped resisting the call and gave in, allowing the summoning to take place.

You had done it. Lucifer was here! The strongest and most fearsome of the seven, and you had Summoned him to you. Your heart swelled when you though of how impressed he’d be when he found out you had done it all on your own. Would he praise you? Would he tease you? Would he tilt his head and smirk, then ask you if you had really missed him that much?

You smiled softly, looking up at him. The look on his face wasn’t one of pride. His eyebrows had furrowed and a frown creased deep into his face. Was he angry at you? No... you had seen his anger many times. This wasn’t it.

“MC....what have you done?”

He cradled you softly in his arms. Wait. When had he picked you up? You looked at your surroundings, the fear in the pit of your stomach ever growing. Where had all this blood come from? You had only pricked your finger! Lucifer’s hand touched your cheek, pulling your face back to him.

“Don’t look.”

You had no choice but to obey. You simply didn’t have the strength to move anymore.

“I’ve called for help, it’ll be just a moment, MC. Just keep your eyes on me.”

Lucifer’s voice was soft and soothing, and you felt your tired body relax into his hold.

“I did it... I brought you here... I did it...” you closed your eyes, a smile on your lips.

“MC, keep your eyes open. Look at me. MC! MC!”

Mammon

That day had started out much the same as always. Mammon, still sore from last nights punishment, groaned as he slumped into his desk at RAD. He rested his head in his arms against the desk, and glanced at the seat that used to belong to you. Obviously, you weren’t there, but it didn’t hurt to check....

“MC is still in the human world, Mammon.” 

Mammon jumped and sat up straight in his seat, his cheeks red from being caught.

“I know that Belphie! I was just-just uh zonin’ out! MC’s old seat just happened to be in the same direction!” He stuttered out an excuse. 

“Just call them, Mammon. I’m sure MC would be happy to hear your voice.”  Oh great, now Beel’s getting involved too. He knew his brothers meant no harm, but all this talk about MC was getting him riled up!

“Fine! I will! I’ll call MC tonight! and you two AREN’T invited!” Mammon laid his head down once again, this time hiding his face, not wanting his blush to show a second time. Tonight he’d finally hear MC’s voice again. And he could blame Beel and Belphie for the call!

 Come dinner time, Mammon had just about run out of patience. His head kept telling him to wait just a bit longer, but something in his heart was yelling for him to quit dragging his feet. 

“I’m going to my room and NOBODY better interrupt me, ya hear?!” Mammon stumbled to his feet and started marching to his room, six pairs of eyes staring at him questioningly. He only made it a few steps when he felt it. A tug. He closed his eyes and swayed on his feet, dizzy from the force of it. This was a summoning, wasn’t it? He had felt it plenty of times from those damn witches, but something about this was different. He turned around to look his brothers again, a look of confusion on his face.

“I...think I’m bein’ summoned.”

Levi snorted and crossed his arms. “I’m sure you’re guilty of something. Better just get it over with.”

The rest of the brothers mumbled in agreement.

Except Lucifer.

Lucifer quickly pushed out his chair and hurried to Mammon. Something was wrong. A simple summoning wouldn’t have this effect on a demon of Mammon’s stature. 

The pull came once again, stronger this time. Mammon winced and held his hand to his aching head. Lucifer’s hand came down to rest on his shoulder

 “I don’t know how long I can resist this. Somethin’ isn’t right. Lucifer, what’s happening to me?” He looked to his brother for help, and found the rest of them had gathered around as well, a look of concern on all of their faces. 

“Someone call for Diavolo and Barbatos. Mammon, hold on just a few more moments.” Lucifer commanded. 

Mammon would have agreed, if not for the voice that rang out clearly in his head, calling his name. 

“Mammon!”

Mammon’s eyes snapped open and stopped resisting the pull, hearing the shouts from his brothers disappear as he followed the call.

“Mammon! Mammon! Mammon Mammon Mammon! Please!” You couldn’t keep this up for much longer, you knew it. You had fallen to your knees moments after the initial call. You could feel every drop of blood flowing out of the pin prick on your finger, but you didn’t dare give up. You had come this far, and you wouldn’t give up now. Not until you had to.

But you didn’t have to. A flash of light blinded you momentarily, and when you could see again, there he was. Standing there was the Mammon. Relief flushed through your entire body, and you stopped pouring your magic into the spell. Utterly exhausted, your body came crashing forward, landing in front of his feet.

Mammon quickly slid to his knees on the ground, picking you up off the floor and resting your head in his lap.

“You....Are you okay, MC?” Mammon tried to keep his voice even and steady, not wanting to scare you, but his hands that held too tightly and his body that quivered gave him away. 

“I am now.” You answered quietly, unsure if it was true. At least Mammon was here and holding you in his arms. Things would be okay as long as he was with you. 

“You...You idiot! Stupid! What the heck were ya thinkin’!? Can’t you see how much blood you’ve lost? This isn’t how you’re supposed to be summoning us! I’m gonna kill that damn sorcerer!” Mammon felt his blood boil with each second that passed. How Could Solomon have allowed this?

You softly squeezed his hand, not having the energy to yell for his attention. Immediately, he stopped, looking at you questioningly. 

“Solomon didn’t teach me this. He wouldn’t. But.... I just couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to see you.” You answered.

He frowned deeply, more troubled with this answer. You had done all this just to see him? He felt a lump in his throat form. “I would have come to you. You didn’t have to do this.” He pressed his forehead to yours, closing his eyes to stop any tears from escaping. 

You cupped his cheek, returning the affection he so rarely showed. “S’okay. All that matters is you’re here now. I just...need....to rest....a little...” Your eyes fluttered closed, feeling at peace and calm in your love’s arms. 

Panic. Once again, Mammon’s eyes snapped open. He placed his hand over yours, trying to gently coax you into opening your eyes once more. 

“Not yet, you can’t yet, MC. We have to wait for help to come. Come on, wake up.” He knew his brothers would come. Someone would come. They wouldn’t let this happen to you. He wouldn’t let this happen to you. “MC!” When gentle touches didn’t work, he got rougher, shaking you and yelling, desperate to see your eyes open.

“Enough playin’ around MC! Wake up! WAKE UP, DAMMIT! Wake... Wake up...You have to..... Wake up....”

Leviathan

To say that Levi was missing his MC was like saying humans like air. Is it true? Yeah, but kind of an understatement. Humans needed air to live and breathe, and in his eyes, you were air. It’s no secret that Levi wasn’t exactly popular. One might even say it was well known that he was a dorky loner demon, if they were feeling particularly sassy. Being a loner has it’s advantages, like having more time for gaming and anime binging, but it sure is, well, a lonely once you’ve had someone to share your passions with. And once that someone is gone, their absence weighs heavy.

So yes, Levi was missing MC. So what? Everyone was missing MC. Why wouldn’t they? His MC was a ray of sunshine in a world of darkness. Ugh. That line sounder way cooler when the hero in his latest otome had said it. Of course his thoughts couldn’t sound that cool. But that’s not the point! Levi figured he had no right to complain about MC being gone, because he was just a gross, annoying, worthless otaku. He didn’t deserve to miss them. He was lucky he got to spend as much time with them as he did, really. 

But nobody could blame him for thinking these thoughts, right? Thinking about how much he missed the way MC would cram themselves as close to him as possible to get a look at whatever mobile game he was playing was harmless. So was remembering all the nights they’d spent binging anime and then realizing the sun was up, smiling sheepishly at each other and promising not to stay up so late next time, even though they always did. Okay, so maybe  thinking about the way they looked when they were fresh out of his shower, smelling of his soap and shampoo was less than innocent, but what was he supposed to do!? Leaning your damp head on his shoulder and curling up close to him like that! Doing things like that is bad for an otaku’s heart! You might give them hope or something...

Enough was enough! He didn’t have time to be obsessing over how much he missed MC. It was taking time away from his one and only true love. “Ruri-Chan, you’d never abandon me right? No, I know you wouldn’t. You’re not like that.” Levi began speaking to his latest figure. “Not to say MC IS like that! No, of course their not! They didn’t have a choice!” He stuttered out a quick fix to his hurtful words. He was glad they weren’t around to hear, but it still felt wrong to say. He was quiet for a minute, staring at his floor in shame. Slowly, he lifted his eyes back to the figure. “Do you think they miss me like I miss them?”

And then he felt it. It had been so long, but he knew this feeling.This was a summoning, wasn’t it?! Based on the intense tug he felt, it had to be a super powerful sorcerer or maybe a group of basic magic users? Honestly, he was flattered. Someone wanted to summon HIM? No, They must have made a mistake. Surely this summon was meant for one of his brothers.

Leviathan was so lost in his own self pity he missed the first two calls of his name. The third one, sounding so desperate and pleading, snapped him out of his funk in an instant. He knew that voice. Without hesitation he let the summon take him, and there he was. He was finally reunited with MC.

But it wasn’t supposed to be like this. When he finally saw them again, he was supposed to feel elated and whole again, not like a piece of his heart was ripped right out of his chest. But when he locked eyes with them, surrounded by blood and their eyes looking glassy, that’s exactly what he felt.

“MC! Oh no. Oh no.”

Levi. He was here. He had to be. You heard his voice and felt his presence, felt his arms circle around you and cradle you tightly against his chest. But why couldn’t you see him? And why did you feel so… empty?

“Levi? That’s you isn’t it? Why is it so dark?” Had the candles all gone out? No, even before you lit them, you remember it hadn’t been this dark. Something was wrong.

Levi inhaled shakily, holding back the sobs he desperately wanted to release. “MC, what are you talking about? I’m right here! Can’t you see me?”

Like a bolt of lighting, the realization hit you. It wasn’t dark. The candles hadn’t gone out. It was your eyes.

“No, Levi. I can’t. I can’t see you. I can’t see anything.” You shakily reach your hand up, frantically feeling around for your love’s face. Leviathan’s usual timid nature word have normally had him reeling away, but in this moment, he had no reservations as he helped guide your hand to his cheek. His lips trembled as he fought the urge to scream.

“MC…. Why would you do this? You’ve lost so much blood… and.. and your sight? I’m not worth this. I’m just a useless otaku! It isn’t fair!” His tears began to flow, the guilt of it all was ripping him apart.

You closed your eyes and smiled as you remembered the many faces of this man you had called to you. “It was worth it. I did it because I love you, Levi. I need you. After all, what good is a Henry without his lord?”

[dribs-and-drabbles]

What Zabb Man ep 5:

Right, I'll start with the bad and end with the good... Oh my god, Amy is so annoying. I know she's meant to be but that's why I'm so frustrated with her character and the storyline. She has too much screen time for just a plot point, and a terribly over-used one at that - an antagonist to get in between the main characters' relationship - and I don't care about her. And it's even more annoying that the show is doing what I said last week that I thought they would - with Taywich being a love interest for her. Honestly, man, find someone better. Why do you like her? But at least he said what we've all been shouting to these kinds of characters for years, and maybe this trope will finally be phased out of future series? 🤞🏽

Thankfully, it looks like they're putting this aspect of the story to bed because it was Too Much.

I do like that this series seems to be calling out some of these tired tropes...but I'm looking forward to a time when we don't have them anymore.

The cooking contest... I really wasn't that interested in this and all the food and dishes - I mean, it didn't really move the story along, it felt like a filler, maybe one of these 'Thai tourism, let's tell everyone about Thai food so they come visit' inserts - and I think they spent too long on it (although I do want to try a papaya salad now!). And the result was quite predictable. I actually spent most of the time trying to remember why I recognised Bas...

Mayom and Teng...I go hot and cold with these two because I like their dynamic when they're being flirty...and I did appreciate that Mayom seemed to back off when he learnt about Tan but then he became too insistent. Teng told him a handful of times he wasn't ready, he didn't want to start anything, that Mayom should give up but Mayom just doesn't seem like he's taking 'no' for an answer and that...is a red flag for me. And of course, Tan comes in and plays the immature little sh*t so we're going to sympathise with Mayom...but Teng needs time. And I think this storyline could really show this respectfully and have Teng and Mayom end up together without feeling like Teng is being pressured from both sides.

But anyway, thanks to Until We Meet Again, I loved that I knew what Look Choup was and recognised it at the end in the spilled bag that Mayom dropped. It seems the way to Teng's heart really is through food.

Wow, this is getting long...

So on to Punn and Tian...and I love these two. I feel like the show is getting their dynamic right, thankfully. Tian is making himself clear to Punn and although Punn is cautious he's very openly showing that he likes Tian as well and very openly says why he's holding back - his self-esteem about their class difference. And that's so refreshing. And honestly if the rest of the series was just Tian trying to show Punn he's worthy or Punn flirting with Tian, building up his trust and self-esteem, until he's ready to commit well, I'd be down for that.

I loved their flirty moment in the office...and especially that they didn't jump back in horror or embarrassment when Pirada barged in. I'm glad they're being shown as comfortable with intimacy and being seen by others. Oh and I loved the parallel between Tian/Taywich physical play-fighting over Punn compared to Teng uncomfortably being stuck in the middle of Tan verbally 'marking his territory' for Mayom - yet another way the show is calling out another tired trope.

But as it is, it looks like we're in for an angsty next episode. A shift of pace, perhaps a new antagonistic force...and I'm excited to see where this series goes.

[itsadamcole]

christmas lights

fem!reader x drew mcintyre

reader and Drew get into a huge fight on Christmas after reader finds out that Drew's been keeping something from her ...

word count: 1.9k+

warnings: very angsty, mentions of cheating, heavily drinking, upset!reader

— a short 4 part series ... this is based on the song “christmas lights” by coldplay. enjoy loves —

masterlist || request an imagine here

part 2 || part 3 || part 4

***

Reader walks into the house after a long day at the office. It's Christmas Day and your boss called you in for an hour long meeting that turned into an all day assignment. You tried to get out of it but being executive assistant director of the office means you have to go in for every meeting.

Your husband wasn't very happy that you were called in. "Why couldn't this wait until tomorrow when it wasn't Christmas?" is what he said. You told him it would be an hour tops, but it's been six.

"Drew?" you call. There's no answer. You hear the water running upstairs so you assume he's in the shower.

You drop off your bag by the front door before kicking off your heels and walking upstairs to your shared bedroom with Drew.

He's showering in the master bathroom that's connected to your bedroom. You change out of your work clothes into a Santa onesie before tying up your hair and taking your makeup off.

Once changed, you crawl into bed and pull up Netflix to get a Christmas movie up.

A tradition that you and Drew have always had, no matter how late it was, is that on Christmas night, the two of you watch How The Grinch Stole Christmas and the Polar Express. The Grinch is on Netflix and you own a DVD copy of the Polar Express.

The water turns off in the bathroom and before Drew comes out, you decide to grab snacks from the kitchen. You grab some of the cookies that you and Drew made the other day, a few bags of fruit snacks, and you can't forget about the vanilla ice cream. It's both yours and Drew's favorite flavor. You grab two spoons and head up the stairs.

A voice comes from the bedroom. It's Drew's, and he sounds like he's on the phone.

"... tonight. She's home and I didn't think she'd be home. Her boss called her in and I didn't expect her back until later."

You lean against the wall outside of the room, listening in. You know you shouldn't but you're curious.

Drew's quiet for a second before he sighs. "No," he says, sounding frustrated. "I can't come over tonight. Look, I have'ta go before she finds out. I'll call ya tomorrow and maybe we can do something when she's at work."

Before I find out what? you think to yourself. What's he hiding?

Your husband hangs up the phone and plops onto the bed with a sigh.

Immediately, you walk into the room and ask, "Find out what?"

Drew looks at you and says, "Oh, Y/N. Ya scared me, love."

"Find out what?" you ask again, snacks in your arms.

A look of panic crosses Drew's face before he says, "Nothing. It's jus' a surprise fer ya."

You say, "You were gonna go over tonight to who ever's house that you were just talking to. What surprise would make you go over tonight?"

The Scottish man says, "It's a surprise fer a reason, love. It's not that big a deal. Come watch The Grinch with me."

Drew's phone goes off and you watch the screen light up with a text. You drop the snacks and snatch the phone before he can.

"Y/N!" he says, reaching for the device in your hand. "Give that back."

It's too late. You've already seen what's on the phone. It's a text from a woman you've never met before and attached is a picture of her in a red lingerie set.

Too bad you couldn't come over tonight. This is for you, Drew baby. I hope you like it. Enjoy it if that wife of yours doesn't satisfy you enough ;)

Tears well up in your eyes and you stare at Drew. "You're fucking cheating?" you almost shout at him. "Are you serious? What the hell?"

Drew jumps into defense mode and he says, "Y/N, please. It's not what it looks like."

"It's pretty clear what it looks like," you say, voice cracking. "It looks like you like to talk to other women behind my back. I can't believe you, Drew."

You chuck his phone at him and he catches it, immediately putting it down beside him. He stands up and you back away from him.

Drew says, "It's not what it looks like, Y/N. Baby, listen t'me-"

You cut him off. "I am not your fucking baby," is what you say. "Fuck you, Drew. I'm done."

"What?" Drew says, panicking. "No. Can I at least explain? Please let me explain."

Tears begin to fall down your cheeks as you say, "Explain what, Drew? That you are seeing another women behind my back? I'm sorry that I get called into work so often that I'm never here when you are. I'm sorry that you probably feel alone and upset when I get called into work. I don't know what else I can do to be around when you want me to."

Drew looks upset as he says, "Y/N, she's a friend that was helping me with a present fer ya."

You say, "By sending you almost naked pictures of herself in basically see through lingerie? That's a present for me? I call bullshit."

He says, "It's the truth! She likes t'mess with me sometimes, especially because you're not around. She thinks I'm deprived of sex, that's why she sent the flirty text. That's all."

A part of you wants to believe him, but you don't.

"Bullshit," you say. "I'm tired of being treated like this, Drew. I'm a second choice when it comes to you. I'm always second after that title or I'm always second after Sheamus. I'm always second, and now I'm second to her."

Drew shakes his head and says, "Ya have never been a second choice t'me, love."

"I always am!" you yell. "It's been like this for months. Since you've won that title, you push me aside like nothing and worry more about that belt than you do me! I threw myself into work, got a promotion, and now I'm never home because of my job."

Your husband says, "Ya are saying ya're a second choice t'me when ya are the one that's never home. I don't know why ya'd be surprised if I actually cheated."

That hits you, hard. Like a punch to the gut.

"That's my damn job," you say. "That's how I make a living. When I married you, I had to get used to you never being home. Now when it's your turn to getting used to me never being home, and instead you go out and cheat on me just to have company."

Something snaps inside Drew and he says, "Fine, yes, I cheated, but she doesn't mean anything t'me like you do."

The truth has finally come out, and it hurts worse than you thought. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt as much if he didn't try to hide it from you.

You stare at the man who claimed he loved you and you say, "I can't believe you. The whole time you're away with WWE and I stayed loyal to you but when it comes to me, when I'm five minutes away for my job instead of across the country, you can't stay loyal to me."

Drew says, "Yer never here!"

"That doesn't give you an excuse to put your dick in someone else!" you shout back.

The two of you stare down each other before Drew says, "I never slept with her. It was a few kisses and a few dinners. I could never do that t'ya."

Before you can stop it, you say, "I hate you."

Drew looks down and nods, accepting that this is happening.

It's quiet between the two of you before Drew says, "I'll go stay with, uh, Sheamus and give ya some space. Ya can come talk t’me when ya're ready."

You watch as he packs a bag.

"You did this to yourself," you say. "I hope you know that."

Drew says, "I know that, and I'm sorry."

Part of you doesn't want him to go but you can't stand to look at him. So you don't stop him from walking out the door.

***

Drew's POV

She didn't believe me. She never would have believed me, no matter how much I tried to explain to her that Diane was just a friend. Diane does love to tease me about sex because she knows Y/N is never around.

I've never slept with her, I've never kissed her, but I have taken her out to dinner as a thank you for helping me with this gift. It was a gift. Was because it's not anymore since she probably doesn't want anything from me anymore.

Tears run down my face as I drive. Not to Sheamus' place that he shares with Cesaro, but to the bar.

I need to feel numb. So when I get there, I order the strongest drink they have. I chug it down and ask for another one.

It doesn't take me long to get drunk. I can usually hold my alcohol but tonight, I just let go and I don't bother pacing myself like I usually would.

My cell starts to ring and I answer it before noticing who it is. "Hello?" I say, accent thick and voice slurred.

"Drew, buddy," Sheamus says on the other line. "Where ya at? Y/N called to see if ya were here but ya're not so where are ya?"

Y/N called. Of course she called. Even when she hates me she has to check to make sure I'm okay.

I glance around the bar and I say, "I am at a bar. I can't find a name but I'm very drunk since my wife thinks I cheated on her."

Sheamus asks, "Diane?"

I sigh and say, "Yeah. She decided to tease me again about not getting laid and sent me a picture of her in Y/N'a present t'mess with me."

The line is quiet before Sheamus asks, "Does Y/N know this?"

"She never believed me when I told her," I say, my voice cracking slightly. "So I might have told her that I actually cheated when I didn't."

Sheamus says, "Drew McIntyre, I know ya didn't tell ya wife that ya cheated on her because that's what she wanted to hear."

I shout into the phone, "She didn't believe me when I was telling her the truth so I thought that it might be easier just to rebuild the relationship from scratch and let her build her trust again."

It's quiet before Sheamus says, "I'm coming t'get ya and ya're staying with me and Cesaro."

"Whatever," I say, hanging up the phone.

My mind wanders to Y/N and how much I actually hurt her by saying how I cheated when I didn't.

What a situation I've put myself in. I don't know how to get out of it.

—

tags: @drewmcintyrekoccsrocbwdgfan

[violetwolfraven]

Hey :)

So, I know I just left a request already but the thing is that there's definitely not enough Blush in the Newsies Fandom, and therefore I wanted to ask for 10 ("Who are you?") for Blush in the canon era. Either some getting-to-know each other, or maybe (to make it more angsty) some kind of temporary amnesia thing or that maybe Blink's other eye slowly stops working? (At this point I'm just rambling, but I hope that's something to work with; I really like your writing)

Thank you! You’re right that we need more blush in this fandom, especially since like 80% of us see them as canon. I’m gonna go the kinda flangst route with this!

Sorry this took so long, but I struggled with and scrapped like 6 different ideas before coming up with something I felt good about. This takes place about a year before the strike.

Tw: referenced parent death, implied period-typical homophobia, referenced past child abuse.

...

Mush was woken up by a loud thud, like something hitting the floor.

He was very confused about what was going on until he looked down and saw Blink on the floor.

He was just sitting there, not quite upright, like he’d fallen out of bed and was too disoriented by getting woken up suddenly to move.

“Blink?”

He didn’t respond, and Mush was starting to wonder if he was really awake at all, or if he was... what, sleepwalking?

Honestly, Mush was starting to question if he was even awake. None of the others were, and that thud of Blink hitting the ground had been pretty loud.

Dream or not, he dropped down from his bunk, careful to land quietly next to his sweetheart.

It seemed like none of the others had been disturbed, which was probably a good thing. They all needed the rest. Jack and Crutchie were up sleeping on the roof like they always did in the summers and others all were still asleep.

“Blink?” Mush whispered.

He just kept staring at the ground, dazed, like he didn’t even hear him.

“Blink, are you okay?”

Blink flinched backward, instinctively raising his arms to shield his face, and Mush froze with his hand halfway between them.

Nightmare. It had to be.

What was it that Jack did when things like this happened?

Mush didn’t know, but he knew he had to do something. He did know something that might get Blink’s attention and snap him out of it. Something none of the others knew.

“Louis.”

Blink’s good eye snapped to attention, but not in a good way.

Mush felt a chill at how he wasn’t looking at him so much as through him.

“Who are you?”

His voice was haunted. Hollow, not even a hint of recognition there.

God, if this was what always happened when he had nightmares, Mush had no idea how Jack could ever calm him down.

He was going to try, anyway.

“It’s me,” Mush said, trying to keep his voice calm, “Mush Meyers. Your... your best friend. Ya don’t know me?”

Blink shook his head rapidly, curling in on himself like he was expecting a blow, “No. No. I’m sorry. No.”

That wasn’t good. Blink never apologized. If he was sorry for something, he let you know in more tangible ways. Actions over words.

Much needed to ground him. Now. He didn’t really know how, but... if Blink didn’t remember him, he guessed he should..?

“Do ya remember when you and me first met?” he asked, “We was 9 years old. My mom and pop had just died. I was friends with Jack, Crutchie, and Specs already, so they’d told me I could come here if anythin’ ever happened. I saw ya for the first time sitting out on the fire escape when Specs was introducin’ me to everybody. He told me not to bother ya, so we didn’t talk for a while.”

Mush paused, watching Blink’s face carefully for any sign of recognition.

He was still just staring into space, but he looked more confused than blank now, so Mush kept going.

“Everybody was upset cause Jack was in the Refuge for the first time and we was all worried, but it hit you hard cause you were alone. The others were all grouped up to support each other, but they was all avoidin’ you cause ya scared ‘em. You get defensive when you’re scared, so’s nobody can hurt ya.”

Still no real recognition, but Blink was at least looking more responsive to what he was saying.

“I offered to be your sellin’ partner after a couple days, cause I didn’t see what everybody was so scared of,” Mush recalled, “Not till you a gave me this look like you were gonna gut me in an alleyway. But I sold with ya anyway, and I kept sellin’ with ya even after Jack broke out and everythin’ got normal ‘round here. Best choice I ever made, to stick it out with you.”

Blink smiled distantly, barely, but it was there.

“Yeah, Blink, I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I hadn’t met you,” he continued, “I definitely wouldn’t know how to read people as well as I do. Remember when we were 12 and the Delanceys jumped me behind Jacobi’s? You seemed so angry while you patched me up, but I knew it was just cause you was worried.”

He was relaxing a little bit, his body language no longer wracked with fear.

Mush risked a glance around the room, just making sure that all the others were still asleep.

“You wouldn’t tell me I was your best friend until we were 11,” he said quietly, “Too damn stubborn. Ya don’t bury all your feelings like some people, but ya also never say it if you’re scared or sad or care about someone.”

Making sure it was clear what he was doing beforehand, Mush scooted a little closer to whisper to him.

“That’s why it was such a surprise when ya told me you had feelings for me last month. Asked to be a thing. You said—“

“You’re the only one what sees the good in everyone,” Blink mumbled, cutting him off, “Even people who hide it on purpose.”

He met Mush’s eyes, and it was obvious that Blink was now a lot more present in there.

“I’d be a fool to let that slip away.”

Mush hesitated, then held out an arm, knowing Blink wouldn’t take that offer if he wasn’t ready to be touched.

To his surprise, Blink went to him without hesitation, the tension leaving his body in one breath as he tucked his head against Mush’s shoulder and let himself be hugged.

He was covered in sweat, and Mush could practically feel the exhaustion radiating off him. Whatever that had been, whatever nightmare had triggered it, had clearly taken a lot out of him.

“Did I scare ya?” Blink asked quietly, after a minute of just sitting there on the floor in silence.

“No. Worried me a bit, though.”

He wasn’t lying. Mush had never been afraid of Blink. He’d been able to see why others were, with that fierce, cynical air he put up in self defense, but Mush didn’t really fear anyone, honestly, since he’d gotten good at understanding people. If you understood why someone was doing what they were doing, you didn’t have to fear even the people you hated or were angry with.

Blink, specifically, had never scared him because he’d been able to tell from pretty close to the beginning that Blink didn’t want to hurt anyone. He just acted like he did so that he wouldn’t get hurt himself.

He’d wondered why before. This was making him wonder again, but he wasn’t sure if it was okay to ask.

A part of him was scared of the answer, remembering how Blink had flinched when he tried to touch him before. He hoped he was wrong.

Blink seemed to guess where his thoughts were going and he sighed bitterly, moving up onto the bed and pulling Mush up with him.

“The nightmares are a nice little souvenir from Mom and Dad,” he admitted softly, “They’re... I don’t have them so much as I used to anymore, but... how did ya think I lost my eye?”

So Mush was right. He hated that he was, but... well, he couldn’t say he’d never guessed this before.

“That’s why ya got so weird whenever I brought up missin’ my folks way back when. You didn’t get it cause you didn’t miss yours.”

Blink nodded, “I ran away when I was 7. Wound up here. My folks came lookin’ for me a couple times, but Manhattan’s leader at the time turned ‘em away at the door. Good thing. I’d probably be dead if he’d let them take me.”

Mush didn’t want to think about a world where that happened, “Jack wouldn’ta let him.”

He smiled, “Probably not.”

That smile faded a little too quickly, but Mush didn’t know what to say to fix it.

He could barely see Blink in what moonlight was coming in through the window, but he reached over to push his hair off his face anyway, careful to come at him from the side with his working eye.

Blink leaned his face into the touch with a deep breath.

“Wish I hadn’t wasted so much time back then, assumin’ everyone was out to hurt me. I’da become friends with you a lot faster if I hadn’t.”

“I did think you was a bit of a dick when we first met,” Mush admitted, “But hey, whatever ya have to do to feel safe.”

Blink shrugged, “Well, you feel safest when you’re surrounded by people ya trust and it works out alright for you.”

Usually it did. Mush always tried to be as kind as he could afford to be, and that meant he had friends everywhere.

Blink had a tendency, almost an instinct, even today at age 15 to make people want to avoid him.

It was kind of funny how the few friends they’d told about their relationship hadn’t been surprised at all, despite how different they were. Sun and moon. Practically direct opposites.

“I’d rather you act like an asshole than end up dead. You mean a lot to me, Blink.”

“You mean a lot to me, too, Mush.”

Mush took the awkward silence that followed that as a signal to give him one last smile and climb up to his bunk, but Blink grabbed his wrist at the last second to stop him.

“Stay down here?”

He didn’t have to answer out loud for them to curl up together, cuddling on that bottom bunk.

[lovingmyselfcore]

i can go anywhere i want just not home

A fic based on My Tears Ricochet!! Highly recommend listening to the song while reading. Very angsty, it's if something happened and Aelin was forced out of Terrasen and had to fake her death. So yeah. I'm working on my Illicit Affairs one so that should be soon? No promises

**Not beta-read or anything we die like men here and I think I'm allergic to editing after 8pm so I can't be blamed if it's really bad

“Do it,” She spat, staring up at him - at all of them. Rowan was the only one who met her eyes, he didn’t flinch away from her, he never flinched away from her. Until recently, at least. There was a sort of comfort in knowing that she was horrible enough that Rowan Whitethorn had finally flinched.

She felt that achingly familiar lick of flame, starting at the base of her spine slowly curling up, lighting the hollows in her spine and bones, in her soul.

Something must be smoldering in her eyes because Rowan shifted, almost imperceptibly. Only being his mate and carranam did she recognize it for what it was. He’d shifted enough to have placed himself between them. Between her, Chaol, and Dorian.

With a bitter laugh, she spat again, “It’s come to this? You’re protecting them from me!” Her voice got shrill.

“Fireheart,” Rowan started but she cut him off.

“No. No. Don’t. You. Dare. Call me that.” It took all her years of training in hiding herself, of becoming other people, that allowed her to keep her voice steady.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to curl up in her massive bed, half sprawled against the comforting warmth of her husband, with Fleetfoot resting in her lap and a good book in one hand, the delicious chocolate hazelnut cake an elderly woman in town had learned to make just for her in the other. She wanted to go home.

But home was a long way from here.

Dorian shoved forward, elbowing past Rowan, ignoring Chaol’s muttered warning, and stopped once he and Aelin were nose-to-nose.

“We didn’t want to do this.”

She just hummed, not backing away from him.

Those flames still curled, ready for her to wield.

“This is better than the alternative,” Chaol spoke up and she and Dorian both moved to look at him.

She arched a brow and schooled her face into that indifferent arrogance she knew made nearly everyone see red. “The alternative? What was the alternative to forcing me to flee my kingdom I have fought so hard to keep and fake my own death with only,” She jabbed a finger at each of them, “You three knowing the details of what happened.”

“The alternative was taking away the fake part,” Dorian said, cold water to match her own burning flame.

She started, and against her better judgment, looked at Rowan. “You were going to,” She swallowed and tried very hard to ignore the agony in his gorgeous eyes. “Kill me?”

“If it makes you feel better, I don’t think anybody voted for that.” Dorian offered.

“Voted?” Her voice went shrill again and she saw Rowan twitch. “You all voted on what to do with me?”

“You couldn’t stay in Terrasen anymore, not after what you did, so yes. We voted.”

“And you three are the lucky bastards who have to force me out.”

“Force is only needed if you decide to fight us, Aelin,” Chaol said.

She ignored how pointed the words were, how they angered those festering embers.

“So Lorcan didn’t volunteer? I was sure he’d be the first to want to force me out of my own home and fake my death.”

“Nobody volunteered, Aelin. Nobody wanted this to be the way it went.”

“Hmm, well it seems someone did. Since we’re here, and all.” Her voice dropped low and she was suddenly talking only to Rowan. “Was what I did so unforgivable that you don’t love me anymore?”

He couldn’t look at her, this man, who used to look at her like the stars were born in her eyes, now couldn’t look her in the face. “I’ll always love you, Fi-” He cleared his throat, “Aelin. Don’t ever think I stopped but-” He looked like words had become too hard and merely stared at whatever his eyes were fixed on, somewhere behind her left ear.

Chaol and Dorian were both looking anywhere but at the two of them.

Looking at him in the dying sunlight filtering through the web of branches formed from ancient oak trees, the way his eyes glittered, the hard lines of him all highlighted, and his hair ruffled from the autumn wind, her resolve broke. She took a step, then another, then she was running. He caught her, swept her up, and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

It was oddly reminiscent of a time long ago, in Adarlan. That, however, was a reunion. This was a goodbye.

Tears streaked down her face and he held her closer; as if trying to further commit all of her to memory. “I’m sorry, Rowan.” She whispered.

“I know. I am too.”

She pulled away first. He wiped her tears away with painstaking gentleness and kissed her forehead, “This may not be the end.” From his tone and the way he was looking at her, he believed it as much as she did. Which is to say, this is the end. “Promise me you’ll stay alive.”

She nodded but didn’t say anything.

“Take care of Terrasen for me. They need you.”

He nodded, his hands still resting on her face, making no move to leave. “Where will you go?”

She shrugged helplessly, “Maybe I’ll bring Lillian back. I don’t know. I’ll just stay in the shadows for a few centuries, try and build a life where nobody knows me, nobody knows Terrasen.”

He nodded again and slowly dragged his hands from her face. She was the one that was ‘dying’ but he looked ready to keel over himself. He took a few unsteady steps backward and stooped to pick up a backpack they’d brought. He tossed it to her and she caught it easily, slinging it along her back.

She turned and looked at Dorian and Chaol, biting her lip. She wanted them to hurt, she wanted them to feel the betrayal she felt. Not a sting, no, she felt like she’d been stabbed. And as someone who had been stabbed many times before, she felt confident in her analogy. But they were her friends, once.

Make them hurt a voice whispered deep from inside her. She clenched her fists and felt the flames bubbling up.

Aelin. Rowan. In her head.

She breathed in deeply and nodded to them once, they nodded back. She acknowledged the pain in their eyes with not a small amount of satisfaction.

She took off sprinting into the forest and didn’t look back.

~~~~~~

They were walking back to Terrasen, they’d let Aelin off at the border.

“Rowan,” Dorian laid a hand on his arm, “Are you-”

He shrugged the young king off and shifted, taking to the skies, as far from them, from anyone, as he could get.

“We made the right decision, right?” Dorian’s voice was so strained it cut at Chaol’s heart.

“Yeah, yes. This was the right choice. The only choice.”

He nodded, but Chaol could tell the doubts lingered. As long as Aelin was out there, on her own, free but never allowed to return home, the doubts would always linger.

~~~~~~

Her knees buckled not far from where she’d taken off running from the three of them. She flew forward, throwing her hands out and scraping her palms along the rocks as slid to a stop. She tried to breathe, ragged, shaking breaths, as she tried to calm her mind. The world blacked-out around the edges and a whimper fell from her mouth. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t fucking do this.

A weak scream ripped from her throat and she dug her hands harder into the rocks, they sliced her palms open, warm blood trickling into the grass.

She tried to wrangle the fire, she tried to use the tactics Rowan had taught her what felt like lifetimes ago, but just like it had which led to her being here, she couldn’t control it.

It didn’t explode like she thought it would, it bubbled. Like lava in a volcano, it bubbled out of her, hot smoldering fire, trickling down her face like tears, tracing lines along her body like blood. It covered the grass around her and spread, her cry was futile. It burnt straight through some of the ancient oak trees, bringing them down and melting them entirely into the earth.

Despite the chaos around her, despite that first anguished cry, she knelt in the dirt. Wind ripped her hair away from her face as she burned the world around her, nobody could say Aelin Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius went out gracefully.

~~~~~~

Despite the initial burning at the border, no sign of Aelin had surfaced. He had to give her credit, the woman knew how to disappear. The thought sent an ache through him, intensifying what was already there.

He’d been like some kind of ghoul, Lorcan and Fenrys traded shifts watching over him, making sure he bathed and ate. Someone always sat at his bedside with him, waking him when the nightmares took him. Nightmares that Aelin was still held captive by Maeve. When they resurfaced, the first night his hand had shot out, seeking a warm body that wasn’t there. He’d flown into a fit of panic until someone had brought someone in. One of the women, Elide, maybe? They had calmed him enough to tell him Aelin wasn’t with Maeve. They weren’t in the war anymore. He remembered where Aelin was. That he didn’t know where Aelin was, only that he had sent her away. In some ways, that hurt worse.

Most of them had moved into the castle and would stay until most of Terrasen, until Rowan, settled enough to be left. Most of them were Lords and Ladies, however, so they alternated. One week Elide would stay at the castle, the next week Lorcan would. The same went for Aedion and Lysandra. He knew it hurt them, being separated like that, but they never once complained. Rowan hadn’t entirely been paying attention when they had decided how Aelin’s ‘death’ had happened, but they’d fabricated a story and spread it. Today was her funeral, nearly a month after she had left - since they’d made her leave - and Terrasen’s people had been in mourning ever since. They would be for a long while, but not nearly as long as Rowan would be.

He wasn’t sure what woke up, it wasn’t even dawn, but his eyes fluttered open. He oriented himself with what - who - surrounded him. Fleetfoot, that damned dog, was at his feet. She hadn’t taken Aelin’s spot, as if hoping she would be back. There was another animal asleep near the foot of the bed, on the floor, Lysandra or Fenrys, and he watched their chest slowly rise and fall and matched his own to it. His heart had been racing. Maybe that’s what woke him, an unseen nightmare.

He crept past the sleeping figure, probably Lysandra then, not as attuned to his every move like he knew Fenrys was.

He slipped out onto the balcony and was struck with the memory of the time Aelin had woken him and he had found her staring with tear-filled eyes at the Kingsflame blooming across those rolling hills.

He surveyed those same hills, the sleeping town below, and leaned forward, bracing his hands on the railing until he was close to tumbling off the edge and stayed there in silence for a long while before speaking. “Damn it Aelin!” He was nearly sobbing, he had no idea when the tears had started. “Why didn’t you stay? Why didn’t you fight harder? Gods,” He broke off and slumped down, unable to speak thanks to the sobs wracking through him. “Please stay,” He nearly whimpered. “I know it’s too late but please, Fireheart, I need you. I need you.”

He fell asleep there, on the balcony, soothed by the beat of his heart. A beat that sounded suspiciously like an echo of Aelin’s fingers dancing along the pianoforte, drawing out a sound she commanded while quietly singing a lullaby she had told him her mother sang to her when she couldn’t sleep.

His eyes closed and he could’ve sworn her voice carried on the wind, that lullaby, followed by a nearly inaudible, “I love you, Rowan. I love you.”

~~~~~~

Half the time she slept in the forest like some kind of wild animal, the other half of the time she disguised herself and found some disgusting tavern to sleep in. She had no idea where she was anymore, she was just wandering aimlessly. She was currently sitting on the roof of one of said taverns. It reminded her painfully of her days as an assassin. She stared up at the stars, unblinking, the night wind was cold and stung her face but she was past caring. Up here, she took off the glamour, becoming Aelin again.

“Do you miss me, buzzard?” She asked the stars. “I hope you miss me as much as I miss you.” She shook her head and laughed angrily. “You became everything you didn’t want to, didn’t you? You bastard.” Her voice was getting louder with each word. “To whatever end? Right.” Angry tears streaked her face for what was definitely not the first time. “I’ve listened around enough that I learned my funeral is tomorrow.” She didn’t even know what she was doing anymore, besides pacing on a roof and shrieking at the sky. “Maybe I’ll stop in, I’ve always wanted to see my own funeral.” She jabbed an angry finger at a star she had deemed was Rowan’s stand-in. “I hope you make it worthy of me, you bastard. Gods, I hope you know me enough to make it as me as you can.” She blew a kiss at that star and something in her cracked, “I love you, Rowan Whitethorn. I shouldn’t, not anymore, but I do.”

She pulled her glamor back on and jumped down from the roof, landing on her feet with practiced ease. “Let’s see if I can make my own funeral, hmm?”

~~~~~~

It was as outrageous as Aelin would have wanted. Everyone was miserable, even those within the inner circle who knew what had really happened. Most everyone was here, except for all the royals within Erilea, and every other land Aelin had touched.

Music flourished from every corner, musicians from all over had come to play pieces for her, in honor of her. It was like some kind of twisted wedding, the way everyone turned when the royals entered. The leaders that Aelin had not known as personally entered first, stopping individually to give impersonal speeches about her. Then Galan entered. He knelt before the basically-shrine honoring her. “You were one of the greatest Queens this world has ever seen, cousin.” He cleared his throat, “You were so much more than all your titles give you credit for, and that’s saying a lot. You were so full of life and energy and,” A broken laugh. “Fire. You burned bright, Aelin. And now that you’re ash, we’re ash too.” He cleared his throat again and stayed kneeling next to the other leaders, murmuring words meant only for him and his cousin.

Manon entered next, she knew the truth but despite that, her eyes were rimmed an angry red. She stood next to Galan, “Aelin Ashryver Whitethorn Galathynius.” She went silent for a moment before sinking to her knees. Everyone gasped. Family knelt, but other than that no leader, especially not a witch, knelt. “You-” She broke off and bowed her head, curling her hands into fists at her side.

When it was clear Manon wasn’t going to finish, Dorian entered. He knelt beside Manon (cue another gasp) his mouth moved, but it was only for him and Aelin. The goodbye he hadn’t had the chance to say in that forest.

Nesryn and Sartaq strode in, Sartaq didn’t speak, but Nesryn did. Her voice carried, unwavering. “No King or Queen is perfect, but Aelin was pretty damn close. She and I were never the closest but,” She hesitated and Sartaq reached for her hand, “She believed in me. She never looked down on me because I was human, and wasn’t in any huge position of power, and that faith in me never changed even when I became,” She gestured at her and Sartaq, at her dress, “Aelin mattered in a way that not many people have ever mattered. She will be remembered, for her fire and power, for what she’s done, but also how she has a soft spot for dogs and chocolate,” A few wet laughs, “How she loves music and theater, how kind she is to everyone.” The crowd nodded their agreement, there wasn’t a soul that wasn’t crying. “You did it. You made your mark.” She bowed her head and it was clear she was done.

Rowan was last, Goldryn in his hands. He laid in with pain-staking gentleness at her shrine. He stepped back and opened his mouth as if about to speak. His fingers fiddled with the ring on one finger. The ring Aelin had given him that he hadn’t taken off. That he would never take off. “Damn you,” He said finally. “Damn you, Aelin.” He bowed his head to hide from the crowd and someone moved, Elide. She came up to him, murmured a few quiet words, and led him to kneel next to Sartaq. She waited a few moments before returning to her spot.

The music rose as everyone knelt, heads bowed, before their dead Queen. It was ghostly, the way they knelt in total silence, besides their tears. Aelin was going to haunt everyone, for a very, very long time.

If anyone had been looking, they would have seen a female figure in the trees, slipping away as quietly and quickly as she could, tears flowing freely at the love everyone held for her.

“Goodbye,” She whispered. Well, looks like she could make a graceful disappearance after all.

[mego42]

I 100% agree about wanting more fanfic lists! I honestly think it's the best way to get a variety. Everybody has personal preferences, if someone, who mostly reads long, fluffy au Brio fic, is making recs, they're not likely to mention short, angsty, canon Brio (which is understandable and fair!) so ideally someone else, who does like those, would also do recs. I'm pretty sure I've read or at least tried the vast majority of Brio fics, but the recs often make me re-read the fic and author.

YAAASSSS!!! I mean like, okay, I v much get why people have issues with rec lists, and I def do not by any stretch endorse the idea that recs/rec lists should be considered anything other than one person sharing a think they liked, but to me a lot of the issues (the same fics/authors getting recced, feeling like awesome fics/authors are going unrecognized) can be solved by more reccing, not less. everyone’s got different taste and different stuff they look/read for and I am extremely pro sharing that.

Idk, I think about it like this: in a previous internet life I was a YA book blogger and I lived and died by recs from other bloggers whose taste and preferences I knew. I mean, you know, I’d check out a book bc the premise sounded interesting but literally the first thing I would do was go to Goodreads and look for a handful of people who tended to like the same books I did and see what they were saying about it bc that was the best way to get a good idea of if I wanted to give it a shot. Or, on the flip side, there were some people whose reviews I followed bc I knew we v much did not read for the same things so if they hated a book for X, Y and Z reasons, I was probs going to like it (one thing about book blogging is if you want to keep current, you do not have a lot of time to mess around, snap judgements are key but that’s a whole other thing and idk if it’s even relevant anymore bc that landscape has changed so much). 

ANYWAY, the point is, I got in the habit and now I do the same thing with fic bc, tbh, I don’t have a ton of time to read, esp not when I’m actively writing which, with the exception of the last week or two, I’ve been doing p non-stop since I got here. All of which to say is, I am desperately in favor of fic recs for purely selfish reasons, I need them! Give them to me!!! Please!!!!!

That said, I uh, am v bad at returning the favor and I recognize that (I think I’ve made what? two rec lists for this fandom?) so I will try to do better to live by my own, idek what this is, moving on and here are 10 recs not really thematically linked by anything other than I’ve read them and loved them and don’t think I’ve put any of them on one of my rec lists yet (and if I have, my blog is a trainwreck I cannot be expected to remember what’s on it LET ME LIVE):

The Goodest Boy by EnsignDisaster

There’s a key turning in the lock and Buddy rushes over to greet his Master excited for her to meet his new friends. The door opens and he dances around Master’s feet rejoicing on the fact that she’s made it home. It's been literally forever.

“Hey Buddy what’s wrong? Need to go potty? Need to pee-pee?”

“Nah he’s good we took him out.”

Master does something very unMasterlike, she drops all the food she’d brought in on the ground and screams. It’s a non traditional avant garde type of hello…Buddy loves it. Mostly because while Master taps furiously on her small light box and sits tense in the corner opposite his new friend Buddy can lick up the egg smashed on the hardwood floor.

Buddy! The! Dog! POV! no further explanation necessary. Technically WIP, but it covers the whole pilot in a way that could be read as standalone (THOUGH THAT WOULD V MUCH GIVE ME A SAD though, when did the show forget the Bolands had a dog? so maybe that’s a tragic casualty of canon, idk)

May The Moon’s Silvery Beams by @pynkhues

Emma hums in agreement, and Rio turns her around to sit her on the counter, grabbing one of the older looking boxes of muesli while she kicks her legs out, heels bumping back against the counter, watching him. He gropes around the inside of the box, finally just opting to pull the plastic cereal bag out and peering inside. He can’t quite keep the grin off his face when he sees the wad of cash lining the bottom. This woman kills him, she really does.

Then there’s a little face peering up beside him, trying to peek into the box.

“What is it?” she asks, and he tilts the box sideways so she can see inside.

The upside to not getting here until s3 is that old fic is new to me! Huzzah!! Idk how many of y’all have already read this on but if you haven’t I highkey recommend. Extremely cute take on what if Emma woke up when Rio and came by to collect his/Beth’s/whoever's money during the shutdown. Cannot believe I’m reccing kidfic. Witchcraft!!!!!!

Maybe You’re My Fantasy by ohmisterjapan

He fucking loves the involuntary. It speaks to how he likes to unlock chaos and walk away. He's been called a control freak before and it felt like such a misunderstanding of him - he's all about self control but he doesn't want to control others. It's more that he enjoys revealing to them how little they can control themselves. It's more that he likes to stand still in the eye of someone else's storm and pick coldly through the wreckage.

Another oldie but a goodie. This fic is more like an extended character study (first chapter Rio POV, second chapter Beth) and I LIVE FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT. I really really really love the take on both characters, it really digs in and pulls out some nuances that made me sit and think about my own read of them and I love it.

A Shock Of Blue by mintletters16

“You don’t look very well. Would you… like me to get you a glass of water or something?”

Her voice is low but smooth, laced with a softness that cuts straight though to his core. Strawberry blonde locks fall gently just above the pair of magnets freezing him in place.

He can still feel the chaos tearing through his veins - emanating from the gold plated gun stuffed in his waistband - and suddenly he can’t be here anymore. Can’t meet this wide-eyed gaze that’s been locked on his for the past God-knows-how-long anymore.

Can’t see blue alive and concerned when he just left it cold and void somewhere in oblivion.

She’s looking at him like he’s on the brink of madness. He thinks maybe he is.

Apparently, it’s backlist rec day over here and I’m not sorry. This one is another technical WIP but the chapter works as a standalone (BUT if the author decided to return to it I WOULD NOT BE MAD). It’s a what if Beth and Rio met pre-canon and it works so!!! well!!!! The tension and fascination and build are all *chef’s kiss* plus the writing is gorgeous and lyrical and ugh, I love it.

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

“We got stuff,” Rio motions with a nod to the backpack Beth hadn’t noticed when they arrived hanging on the back of one of the chairs at the island.

She swallows and turns back to the dishes, realizing Rio apparently means to sleep there , assuming the place isn’t bugged.  Or for some kind of cover story if it is.  She turns and fixes Rio with a narrow-eyed stare, studying his face, the corner of his jaw especially prominent from the angle she’s looking up at him.  He’s methodical about drying each dish and setting it back on the rack, maddeningly ignoring her hard stare, so when he goes to take the next plate from her hands she grips it tightly and gets his attention.

“Hey.”

“What you on about now?” he asks, irritated.

It gets her gut uneasy, how he’s just . . . there, settling in, in ways he never had before, no matter how nonchalantly he would let himself in through her locked doors.  

“This is,” Beth tries, failing, to find words for it, “. . . it’s weird .”

This one takes place post 204 and Rio and Marcus end up spending a long weekend staying with Beth and Emma for reasons (that work, for the record, I’m just not trying to summarize rn) and it’s domestic and cute but honestly my fav part of it is how weirded out Beth is by how easily they slip into sync. The story does an excellent job balancing where they are in canon (uneasy post-sex truce) with a snapshot of what they could be if they got over themselves (HA! as if) and Beth is DEEPLY FREAKED which makes her slow slide into realizing she could maybe sort of kind of oh shit like it/him??? that much more satisfying.

Not So Careful by @bensonstablers

When he doesn’t answer, her eyes go to his but he’s too busy watching the letter opener which is still pressed against the back of his hand. Curiously, Beth runs it up his arm, careful not to press too hard, and smiles a little as he shivers. Pulling her leg up onto the bed, she shuffles closer to him before pressing the tip of the sword to his chest and slowly circling his left nipple with it, being sure not to get too close.

“You ain’t gotta be that careful.”

And when she lifts her eyes to meet his, he’s got that look. The one that always makes a lump form in her throat and for her to fall back into bed with him without a single thought of what they have to do that day. Only thing is, this time they’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the weekend and well, staying in bed the entire time had seemed like an appealing idea so she allows herself to give in a little to that look.

It makes me EXTREMELY SAD that knifeplay ranked so low on the kink survey so I’m gonna need y’all to check out this V V V EXCELLENT example of it and come back and tell me you’re sorry and you voted wrong. I am v reasonable what are you talking about.

love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) by @lilliloves

"You know what I can't stand?" Rio asks, stepping closer. It's a rhetorical question but he pauses for a second and watches Dean sniff, watches a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead, watches him shift on both his feet as he contemplates making a run for it.

"A guy who don’t realize how good he's got it." Rio continues, looking Dean up and down in disgust. "A guy that will literally fuck up a good thing just to get his dick wet."

"Yeah, well I can't stand a guy who can have anyone he wants but chooses the married woman he's not entitled to.” Dean shoots back. "And I really can't stand the fact that you're always in the room with us even when you aren't there."

And who brings him into the room Dean hmmmmm????? Jk, jk (or am I). In this one Rio catches Dean out on the town with another woman (bc of course he is) and tries to call him out but whoops! gets called out himself. I really love the like, idk, undercurrent of wistful regret in this fic. I love Dean straight up calling Rio out on his feelings (spoilers but there’s an exchange right after this one that made me straight up holler), and, you know, obvs I am here for Rio making Dean feel like an ass. 

Hell Is Other People by makemanybraver

Rio: We're in Hell, Elizabeth! If you don't think you belong here, then repent! Don't fuck everyone in the room in hopes that you get to go out!

Beth: Why do I have to repent?!

Rio: Because you did some fucked up shit in your life, Elizabeth! You keep doing fucked up shit here, too! And you think you don't belong here!

Beth [screaming at the top of her lungs]: Because I don't!

This fic is existentially bonkers and I love it. It’s the kind of experimental format/homage/what have you kind of thing that I L O V E. Based on No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre, Beth, Rio, and Fitzpatrick are stuck together in a room in hell for all eternity. What more do you need, honestly.

Working On Things by odenkirk

Unknown Hold up, Elizabeth. I'm really thinkin about you here.

Beth turned her face into the pillow, effectively suffocating herself for a moment, but thinking it was a good trade off for the way the cool silk of her pillowcase chilled her skin.

She lifted her head to glance at the still sleeping Dean before replying.

Beth I'm thinking about you too. But this can't happen.

She wanted him to know she wanted him, but she also thought that admitting she was already there would save Rio from trying to convince her. She wanted him, but morals had to win just once in a while.

YES this is technically Beth/Dean while also being Beth/Rio BUT it’s also sort of Rio/Dean and I am HERE FOR THE DIVERSITY OF SHIPPING leave me alone who asked you.

Five Times He Knew What She Was Thinking, and One Time He Didn't by JoeyLee

Aight, so tell ‘em I was hittin’ it. Said deliberately blunt, eyes locked on her face the whole time, just to see those blue eyes widen. She looked so shocked that he almost laughed, so he softened it teasingly just to keep her going. Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, tell ‘em we were makin’ love.

Then he just watched her, just watched her face, just fucking fascinated. Her lips were parted and her eyes were big as saucers, and…there it was. Before she could look away flustered, he watched the thought go through her mind. Him and her together.

He wondered what she was picturing or where. Them in the back seat, her bed, a motel?  Her on top or him from behind or his face between her legs?

Whatever it was, the blush started immediately, and he watched it bloom out from her cheeks to her hair. Then she was tearing her eyes away to gulp a little.  But it didn’t knock her down for long before she was looking back. And then, wait, was she actually asking him how to go about telling a fed they were fucking?

Okay this is another technical WIP but works as a standalone. I am absolutely fucking feral for character POV takes of canon scenes and this is a supremely excellent take on Rio POV of some notable scenes from the pilot through 204. Imo it brilliantly captures Rio’s voice and I love it a lot. 

HEADS UP I am absolute shite at tracking ao3 to tumblr unless people have specifically told me someone’s ao3/tumblr name SO if you recognize any of the non-tumblr authors on please lmk so I can tag them and YES I recognize that I am asking y’all to do things for me throughout this entire post and I’M SORRY OKAY I’M A WHOLE ASS MESS LOVE YOU BYE

[calumance]

58 or 59 for the prompt list with cal! I'm thinking a little angst-y but I feel like there's a million different ways you can approach this one! can't wait to see what you come up with, lovie!! ☺️💗

58. “Where have you been?!”

59. “You could have at least left a note. We were worried about you.”

I did both because why the heck not, and it’s kind of angsty only because I’m in an angsty mood. Hope you like it!! ☺️☺️

           The past few weeks have been hectic, to say the least. With the state still on lockdown, both you and Calum had to work from home. At first it wasn’t a big deal, but then it got crazy. You had originally set up your work station in the office, but then you had to move it because of all the interviews Calum had to do. So, you moved it to the living room, which was practical because that was supposed to be the space you escape work to. Finally, you ended up setting everything up at the dining room table, which still ended up being in the way, but you dealt with it.

           It was the weekend, which meant you didn’t have to work, but it seemed that Calum always had to work. Which you’d never complain about, but something inside you wished he had a chance to just sit on the couch with you and watch a movie. As you sat on the couch, Calum ran around the house setting up his music equipment to film a few videos. As much as you wanted to help him, you knew you would just be in the way. He started to set up his equipment right outside the living room which meant that it was time for you to move to not interrupt him. You shut off the tv and made your way out of the living room. Originally you thought that being locked down with Calum would mean getting to spend an unlimited amount of time with him, but it was starting to feel like you were spending even less time with him now. Calum walked past you with his bass and some headphones wrapped around his neck and you sighed. It was like you were invisible all of the sudden.

           You made your way down the hallway and grabbed a book you’ve been wanting to read from the shelf. You tucked it into the crook of your elbow until you found your bag where you slid it in along with a notepad and some pens. After the bag was packed the way you wanted, you walked down the hallway to see Calum with his headphones on and playing music, the camera rolling. Not wanting to interrupt him, you opened the front door and walked out of the house, shutting the door as quietly as possible. Once the door was secure, you started walking, putting you hands in your packet and watching your feet. As you walked, you allowed the wind to push your hair out of your face, a small smile spreading on your lips as the chill in the breeze cooled down your warm skin. When you finally reached the park, you found a bench to sit on and pulled out your notepad.

           As the notepad laid on your lap, you dug through you bag and pulled out a pen. There was no one else in the park, it was just you and the birds. You started writing, writing all of the sounds you heard, all of the colors you saw. Anything that brought a smile to your face. You wrote about Calum and how you felt like you didn’t exist to him anymore. You’re smile faded, and you dropped your pen. You closed your note pad and pulled out your book, flipping to the first page.

           You made it halfway through the book when you decided it was time to go home. Shuffling through your bag, you realized you left your phone at the house, there was no way for you to know how long you had actually been gone. After shoving everything into your bag, you started your walk home. When you walked through the front door, you shut it quietly, expecting Calum to still be working. The house was oddly silent but your shrugged it off and made your way to the bedroom to put your bag down. “Babe, is that you?” Calum called out as he rounded the corner, causing you to stop in your tracks. “Where have you been?!” He asked as he threw his arms around you.

           You wrapped your arms around him in response. “I went to the park to read.” It was then that you caught sight of the clock and realized you had been gone for multiple hours. “I didn’t mean to be gone for so long. You were recording something when I left, I figured you’d still be working when I got back.” The thought of telling him how you actually felt crossed your mind, but you decided against it.

           He pulled away from you, keeping his hands on your shoulder, “You could have at least left a note. We were worried about you.”

           You lifted an eyebrow and cracked a smile, “We?”

           “Yeah, me and Duke.” He nodded, and smiled, even though he was being completely serious. You shook your head and let out a soft chuckle. “All seriousness, why didn’t you say anything when you left? I freaked out when I couldn’t find you, and you left your phone here. I had no way to reach you, and you had no way to reach me if you were in trouble.” Calum lifted his hand from your shoulder and caressed your cheek.

           The emotions started to boil over feeling his soft and loving touch. The tears started to well in your eyes as you tried to speak. “Everything’s been so crazy these past few weeks. I’ve felt completely invisible to you. I left without saying anything because I honestly didn’t think you’d notice.” A tear rolled down your cheek and you wiped it away before Calum could. “I didn’t mean to leave my phone here, though. Just meant to go sit at the park and relax for a bit.”

           Calum reached forward and pulled you back into his chest. His right hand slowly running through your hair, his lips resting on the top of your head. “You’re not invisible. I see you even when you don’t think I see you. I’m sorry I haven’t given you the attention you deserve lately. Why don’t we take the rest of today and tomorrow to just be with each other. No work, no phones, nothing, just us.”

           You smiled and nodded against his chest. Your arms squeezing him tightly, “I’d love that.”

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x05 - I'll Stand By You

So just a little note from me, the person behind the season 2 detailing.  I am trying really really hard to keep emotion out of these posts...which is really really hard for me because I'm an inherently emotional person. I'm a glass case of emotion, ready to shatter at any given moment. (#dramatic)  But I want to be true to the intent of this blog and keep my feelings, biases, and, you know, shipping out of this blog.

It was really really hard to do with this episode. Because I straight up ugly cried for like, 45 of the 60 minutes. 😂

So I guess, the point is, I'm proud of myself and sticking to the details here. My regular blog is where I'm doing the emotional flip out thing! 😂

EPISODE SUMMARY:

ACCEPTING REALITY — The discovery of some complications with Max’s (Nathan Dean) pod forces Liz (Jeanine Mason), Michael (Michael Vlamis) and Isobel (Lily Cowles) to confront the possibility that they may not be able to save him. Elsewhere, Maria (Heather Hemmens) and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) make amends. Kimberly McCullough directed the episode written by Alanna Bennett & Jason Gavin (#205). Original airdate 4/13/2020. 

DETAILS:

Max/Isobel/Michael reunite at age 11 according to what Michael tells Alex in 1x10.  So that would make the opening of this episode set in 2002ish.

Michael tells Max and Isobel, "I remember you. I don't know you."

"After nobody adopted me for a year they just stuck me with the name of that trucker who found us."

"I didn't ask you for anything."

This is like the thesis statement of Michael's whole history with Max in the flashbacks.

"Don't pay more than you collect, kid. Passing credit back and forth is a good way to get stuck with somebody forever."

Rosa's art. 

What I can see says: "...what they all told me, but I didn't listen" and "Stand the shelter".

Rosa on her dreams

"I have not had any freaky dreams in weeks. Okay, Max is probably off haunting Isobel now that they're strong enough for their psychic twincest weirdness."

"How long has that been happening?"

"Um, I don't know. It's an old boom box."

"Rosa, have electrical appliances been malfunctioning around you?"

"I really thought it was just a side effect of the handprint."

"If being in the pod introduced a new protein into your system it could have altered your DNA too. You could be developing abilities."

"Liz, look. The handprint is changing.  It's smaller."

"It's fading."

"Tell me this is a good thing."

"I don't think so."

Michael and Liz theorizing on why the pod shorted out:

"The pod's got a charge. It's like a battery powering the preservation process. This one's gone dead."

"Did the generator blow the electromagnetic threshold?"

"I think a surge came from the pod itself. But that pod has lasted almost a century. It shouldn't glitch out."

"Okay, well, then, this one did."

"All right, stop. It doesn't matter why the pod is broken. It just is. So how long does Max have?"

"My theory is that being tethered to Rosa through the mark is what kept Max from going brain-dead, and in turn the stasis process is what kept the mark from fading. So he could be gone by tonight."

"Okay, well, we have three more pods. So let's just put him into another pod."

"No. He's just gonna do it again. I haven't told you everything. I didn't want to scare you. I didn't want to be the one that took the hope away."

"Talk now, Rosa. Right now."

"I was seeing Max in my nightmares months before I told you about it, and he was begging me to stop you. He said that he was in a lot of pain in there."

"That's Noah's pod. Noah told us it was broken. It wasn't keeping him in stasis. He could feel time passing. None of us thought of that."

"We've been doing everything we can to make Max stronger. He pulled his own plug."

Note...as far as we know Isobel was the only one who knew about Noah's pod being broken.  In 1x12 it was before Liz arrived at the house that he told them about the broken pod, so only Max and Isobel heard that part of the story.

Alex on his training. "NSA intelligence cryptology training".

Monitor screen in the secret lab:

Noah's heart is still too weak to transplant. Kyle says it needs at least eight more weeks

"I wrote a paper for a bioethics class on patients in vegetative states who feel pain. Sometimes it's all they feel."

As a non sciencey person, I was wondering if bioethics class was a real thing. Tonight I saw an interview on the news with a UC Berkeley bioethics professor on COVID. So yes, it's a thing.

Alex on Michael that summer post-Rosa's death:

Starting fights with jocks

Broke into the drugstore

Not going to UNM

Hasn't hung out with Max all summer

Got busted for stealing hubcaps (Kyle's hubcaps, we learn later) 

Became a walking bar fight

Was in jail when Alex left to enlist

Michael on Max in 2008:

"It's more than that. And it's less than that. We were friends when we were kids, but now Max reminds me of a bunch of stuff that I'd rather forget. The only thing that we have in common anymore is Isobel."

Max's yearbook had a pencil stuck in the page with Liz and Max's photo in it. (The one we first saw in 1x03).

"Biology Club. Max hated science. He was in that club for four years just to watch your sister chew on the end of her pencil."

Max's mindscape:

First just desert, clouds, and then lightning strikes (destructive energy?)

Liz's antennae -- they disappear from Isobel's hands

Rosa describes it as broken

Crashdown special is Max's favorite "Little Green Man milkshake".

The Crashdown counter is kind of merged with biology lab equipment. 

The juke box is there

The Crashdown booths

Jeep

Neon Crashdown sign

One of those claw drop game machines (from the Crashdown) but it's filled with baked good displays.

The yearbook

Later, everything else is gone except the one Crashdown booth, the Jeep, and the neon sign.

The distorted music they follow to find Max is the Cactus Groove song in the music list...just, messed around with. See @angsty-nerd's post here:

"I'm the hothead. You are the hero. It's always been that way."

"You stole the hubcaps off Kyle Valenti's graduation present. Both his parents are cops. Do you want to end up in jail tonight?". 

👀 Tonight, specifically. 

Michael seemed excited about the job at Foster's Ranch until he found out that Max set it up for him.  Max found out about it from his dad (only like the 2nd or 3rd mention of his dad in the series so far).

"When I got back in town I asked Max why you and your brilliant mind hadn't changed the world yet. He said you didn't care about the world enough to bother changing it. He believed you could."

Max and Isobel in the mindscape:

"You're okay. I could feel something was wrong with you.  Everything felt…"

"Cold. I know."

"You can't be here. It's finally ending.  I can feel it. But I don't know what happens if you're in my head when I die."

"So it's true? You want this?"

"I could feel my connection to the outside world getting stronger, so I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. I released a surge. You have to let me go, Iz."

"I can't take it anymore."

"Okay."

"I am so sorry."

"I just want to memorize this."

"Okay. Okay.  I need you to tell Liz something."

"You can tell her yourself.  She and Kyle are prepping for surgery.  They're going to use the faulty heart. She just wants to talk to you before you die."

"No. No."

"You won't be suffering. They're just gonna bring you back and then let you go."

"No you have to stop this.  You cannot bring me back under any circumstances."

"Max? What is really going on?"

"I am dangerous.  Whatever Liz is bringing back is not me. It's just some broken shell."

Maria on her mom's computer 

"Her nurse said that for the two weeks before she went missing, when she wasn't trying to escape, she was talking to someone online."

The 21st birthday flashback

Isobel gets Michael to help move Max after getting drunk on tequila.  He passed out in front of the tattoo parlor. It's the same tattoo parlor Michael goes to at the end of the episode.

Max's weird drunken statement.

"The thing is, there has to be there. Okay? There's always three. Until the very end.  I'll show you...What it means is you should be here…'cause it's all broken without three. So we'll figure it out.  You'll find your way back."

👀 Until the very end. Interesting.

On Max becoming a deputy:

"You know he did the whole police academy thing because of you, right? He thinks you're gonna get into the kind of trouble you can't get out of if you don't know someone."

Back in the mindscape:

"I figured it all out. She, there's an energy to suffering, there's an energy to death, and when I heal people, I absorb that energy. So when I resurrected Rosa, I took in ten years of emptiness. So if you resurrect me, you will be bringing back an infection. Don't want… I don't want to come back as a monster. I don't want to hurt anyone that I care about."

"That's what this is about? We've been hurting, Max. We don't work without you."

"You will! You will. You are stronger now than when I died. All of you are. You, Michael, Liz, you will survive this. The three of you. No, you need to stop them, Iz. Now."

"Okay. I love you."

"You too." Isobel disappears.

Max is using pretty similar wording to his drunken rambles in the 21st birthday flashback

We don't see that Max is chained down until this next exchange with Rosa. Isobel didn't see that detail as far as we know.  Didn't hear the chains clanking when they stood and hugged. Only after Isobel left.

"I'm sorry this is happening."

"Isobel is lying. She is buying time.  You know she'll never let me go. But you can feel the darkness too, right? That's why you don't like being in my head. Because you know it's real."

"I didn't want that to be true, but yes."

"I know my sister and I know your sister and they'll never give up. So you have to be the one to stop this surgery, okay? Or I will destroy everything that we love. You have to stop them to save them. Now go.  Please, Rosa. Go."

Isobel explaining to Liz

"When he saved Rosa he absorbed all of that dark energy. He's gonna have to expel it."

"And he's afraid he's gonna kill someone when he does."

"Yeah. So we just need someone stronger than Max to take that hit...if he thinks he needs to protect us he obviously doesn't know how capable we are. Bring him back, Liz. I'll handle the rest."

"I get it now. It's gotta be the three of us."

"He would never pull his plug to end his own suffering. Unless he thought he was saving us from something. And I'm a little sick of his heroic martyr crap."

In case you missed it, Michael did not know that.  At the beginning of the hospital sequence Isobel is telling Liz what she learned in Max's mindscape and says that she hasn't been able to get ahold of Michael.  Michael figured it out on his own. He finally "got it".

The pacemaker:

Isobel with Max at the end… everything is gone except the Jeep. And Bright Eyes playing (the song he and Liz danced to on their first date back in 2008). And then his eyes close and Bright Eyes fades away.

“First thing I remember is the three of us. We woke up terrified and lost. But together. And then all of the sudden I was alone. I got real good at being alone. I had given up on people entirely. And then you found me again. Hell of hero move. You showed up just in time. When you are a kid who nobody loves, kindness is a currency. Friendship doesn’t means jack. Family just lies, and hurts, and leaves. I’ve only ever known love to be temporary. So yeah, I push people away. Every time someone threatens to care about me I test their love until they have to leave. Connection is conditional. Everybody eventually gives up on the guy who refuses to be rescued. But you were the only one who I couldn’t run off. You never believed me when I tried to be something I wasn’t. So this thing in your chest, it might give your heart a pretty solid kick every once in a while. Consider it payback. It’s my hero move, Max. If you wake up, you consider us even, okay? If you wake up, we can be a family.”

Good visual parallels during Michael's speech. Alex and Kyle drinking together during the "and then you found me again". Maria walking up on "the guy who refuses to be rescued"

Max is in the coma for three weeks.  Wakes up at the secret lab (instead of his house, which is where he was previously.  I'm guessing it was a planned wake up because he's no longer plugged into all of the IVs and whatnot.

"I begged you to understand."

"Max, it's gonna be fine."

"No… I told you to let me go. I can feel it inside me."

"It's...it's symmetry, okay? It's just energy for energy.  We can deal with that. Fight it, Max. This isn't you."

"I don't want to hurt you. I need to get out. I need to get away from you, from everyone."

"I can't let you do that."

Max shoves Isobel and runs. When he shoves her there's a slight ringing like the sound they use when the aliens use their powers.  Isobel follows and stops him with her powers.

"I made a promise that if you came back and you weren't Max, and you were actually going to hurt people that I would kill you. I figure, hey, you got to play God. Make life and death decisions all on your own. Well it's my turn now."

MUSIC:

1. Letters To Cleo "Here and Now"

2. Lady Antebellum "Love Don't Live Here"

3. Cactus Groove "Fallin"

4. James Talley "Big Thunder"

8. Ross Copperman "Stars Are On Your Side"

5. Lindsey Ray "Keep You Safe"

6. Tommee Profitt feat. Sam Tinnesz "With you Til The End"

7. Bright Eyes "First Day Of My Life"

The Cactus Groove song is the first song this season that I haven’t been able to find on Spotify… let me know if any of y’all had any luck with it!

[convenientalias]

For the prompts, here's one: “Do these dark circles under my eyes say nothing to you about how I'm doing?” My Country: The New Age, Sun-ho/Hwi.

I wrote an early morning ficlet. Cross-posted to AO3 here. Surprisingly not that angsty, I don’t think? Pre-canon.

--

Seon-ho had been stressed about something for days.

He presented a brave front for the most part—Yeon, for example, hadn’t noticed that anything was different about him—but he’d never been able to hide his feelings from Hwi. He rarely tried. Today, for example, he’d been all smiles when he came by Hwi and Yeon’s house to summon Hwi off to the woods for some sparring and maybe a little hunting. He’d been coolly formal when they’d run into one of his father’s acquaintances in town on the way there. But in the actual spar, Hwi could read frustration in both his face and the force behind his hits, and when Hwi told him they were done for the day, not wishing to fight a Seon-ho who was in this kind of mood, he appeared to only get gloomier and even more frustrated.

They sat on a fallen log together, Seon-ho staring off into the distance, Hwi staring at Seon-ho. It wasn’t the most comfortable log; it was damp from rain that had fallen a couple days ago, and rotting on the end Seon-ho had taken, kind of splintery and precarious. Seon-ho didn’t seem to care. Hwi cleared his throat. “We could talk about it.”

“Talk about what?” Seon-ho asked. “The way you still drop your guard when you’re distracted? What’s distracting you today anyway? I thought we’d have a good fight and you call it off after ten minutes.”

“I’m distracted?” Hwi huffed. “I meant we could talk about what’s eating you.”

Seon-ho shrugged.

Hwi waited for him to elaborate at least a little bit. But apparently a shrug was all he was getting. “Is your father putting pressure on you again?” he guessed. “You know you’re doing fine with training and stuff lately, right? There’s nothing to be worried about. Perfectionist.”

“I’m not a perfectionist. Working hard isn’t actually a bad thing, Hwi.”

“The spoiled young master talks to me about working hard,” Hwi muttered.

Seon-ho snorted and elbowed Hwi in the side (“Hey,” Hwi protested), half amused and half annoyed as he always was when Hwi joked around about him being a noble. Today he didn’t bother correcting Hwi about how he only had half noble blood, which meant he probably was tired as well as stressed, because Hwi knew better than to think he’d actually given up on differentiating about things that really didn’t matter.

Hwi gave him another long look. Too much tension in his body, and still too much frustration on his face. It was time to employ desperate measures. He grabbed Seon-ho by the waist and pulled him into a one-armed hug. For a second, he could feel Seon-ho tensing further, preparing for some wrestling, but seeing that Hwi wasn’t actually trying to start another fight, he relaxed a little and slumped against Hwi’s side.

Hwi gave him a squeeze. “You should take a nap or something.”

“I’m not tired, Hwi. You’re just obsessing.”

“Looking at you the past couple days has made me tired.”

“I understand my good looks can be overwhelming that way sometimes,” Seon-ho said loftily. “It can’t be helped.”

“Mm, you’re prettier when you’re not in a funk,” Hwi said. “True that you’re pretty, though.”

He smirked at Seon-ho—lately he’d been teasing him like this occasionally, prodding him about his looks and how girls tended to crush on him—it didn’t tend to rile Seon-ho up that much, but it was fun, and sometimes he got the sense that Seon-ho liked it. Liked when Hwi told him he was handsome or cute even when he snarked back, just like he liked Hwi hugging him even when he’d often turn it into a wrestling match. So he expected Seon-ho to roll his eyes or at best blush a little. But today, Seon-ho gave him a strangely determined look, and then abruptly leaned in and kissed him.

On the lips.

And… too slow (despite the suddenness) to count as a joke.

Hwi kissed him back, and the two of them let the stresses of the day, and all the outside world, fall away. Let the two of them together be all that mattered.

--

It was a few days after the kiss (the kisses, multiple, in the end, combined with a little sappy talk) until Seon-ho could see Hwi again. Seon-ho both looked forward to it and dreaded it. He wanted to kiss Hwi again, now that he knew he was allowed to—he’d been wanting to kiss Hwi for months, maybe years. On the other hand, he didn’t want things to change between them too much, and there were… other things to worry about.

One thing he wasn’t particularly worried about was what Hwi might say, how he might act, when they saw each other again. Hwi had taken this development weirdly in step, far too casually. But then, that was Hwi, wasn’t it? Typical Hwi.

Hwi seemed a bit nervous, actually, but what he ended up saying when they were alone, after a few tense moments, was, “Are you all right?”

“What?”

“You look even more tired and stressed than last time, and last time you already looked shitty enough.”

Seon-ho crossed his arms. “Not a very romantic thing to say, Hwi. What, do I have dark circles under my eyes?”

He knew for a fact he didn’t. He was very careful with his appearance. It was true he hadn’t gotten much sleep the past couple nights. The last time they’d met, he’d been stressing over something his father had said about how Seon-ho slacking was a reflection on his low blood (“but will be seen as a reflection on me, on our whole family, and I will not have you shaming me. Remember that.”) which had been bad enough but was not uncommon. But now he had a whole new genre of things to worry about. Namely, the idea of starting something with Hwi. Was it a bad idea? He liked Hwi a lot—Hwi was one of the few people he could even say he loved—and the thought of being with him made him happy. But it could easily become a disaster, especially if his father found out.

It wasn’t that Hwi was the son of a convicted traitor. It wasn’t that Hwi was a peasant. It wasn’t even that Hwi was male. None of those things would make Nam Jeon like Seon-ho loving Hwi any more, of course; none of them had ever helped reconcile him to Seon-ho and Hwi’s friendship. But Seon-ho knew Nam Jeon mostly disapproved of Seon-ho being close to Hwi because he didn’t like Seon-ho being close to anyone. He considered it weakness. How much more would he disapprove if he found out about this? How much angrier would he get?

Hwi was shaking his head. “Seriously, what the hell is up with you?”

He might take it the wrong way if Seon-ho said he was worried about their relationship. And Seon-ho didn’t really want to talk about his father. Nam Jeon wouldn’t have to know about this anyway; Seon-ho was worrying over nothing. He smiled and said, “I’m fine, you idiot. You really worry over nothing.” Boldly, he ran a hand through Hwi’s hair. “I thought we might start where we left off last time, unless you’re not up for it anymore. I understand I can be intimidating—a rich young master, and with my looks…”

Hwi gave him a playful shove, then pulled him back and kissed him.