#but i left it vague and up to you lmfAOO

[msftsn]

and @maljefe wrote in the journal : “  it was a pleasure to know you. ” she breathed out, gazing into his terrified face. show scripts of the tales of loni and kazimir.

❛  loni...  ❜ he gasps out, existential crisis momentarily forgotten as the shock brings out the most in human capacity. he stares at her with dread, electric blue eyes widened as blood splatters onto his face, covers him like paint would a canvas. and what a morbid artwork the scene makes; shewolf barely holding on above him, hovering as her breaths get weaker before she crashes down on top of the cyborg, landing harshly against metallic frame. his eyes are still fixated at the spot where she would have been just a moment ago while her blood begins to roll down his face, eyes still as shocked as he can be while he stares into nothing. he says her name again, distantly as if he doesn't quiet grasp the situation. and maybe he doesn't; if he did then in this very moment the entire city would be burning to the ground. well ... most of it; he'd have to keep it safe enough to get chris out of this hellhole.

the thought of chris snaps him back to reality, makes him raise his arms weakly as if to make loni move to get off of him. ❛ hey... you have to get up.  ❜ he speaks plainly before he raises his arms again, lightly grasping her arms to give her soft shakes this time. ❛  come on... chris will be angry if we're late.  ❜ he speaks, voice growing more desperate. why does this feel familiar, this sensation of dread and panic? ah ... that's right. he's felt it before as a scared teenager after his first murder, when he just wanted to protect a friend and then had to flee the country to keep his family out of the crossfire. when he had to abandon everything he knew at age 14 and had to find a way to survive in a foreign country. except, despite that childish terror and the dread and fear he's felt for months back then ... this here, this was worse. it sent him back to when his sister locked him in a dark room when he was seven, thinking of it as a game and only letting him out once his terrified cries reached her ears. except this time there was nobody to let him out of the darkness; the person who could have is laying motionless on top of his cold body. he shakes her again, stronger this time.

❛  hey...!! loni!! you have to get up...!! this is no place for sleeping...!! ❜ he says, louder, more frantic before he shoots to sit up, clinging to her as if she were a life vest. he can hear a pulse, faint and slow and nearing its limit but it's there. of course it is, it wouldn't be loni valadian otherwise. he thinks. if he's knows he knows a lot about her and at the same time nothing at all. fear crushes him like rubble and suddenly he's on his feet, holding her with a gentleness that seems so alien coming from him. and he's running, desperately so. with the fastest speed he can manage. foolish ideas of revenge abandoned behind him when he makes it out of the building while holding onto his past, present and future. he has to find the doctor that saved him. he has-- if anyone can come even close to saving loni (within a reasonable distance) it's that stupid doctor. he runs, ignoring anything around him, the route familiar against his will while he looks down at the one person he managed to consistently let down.

❛  don't die on me ... i promise i'll tell you everything you want ... i'll let you in ... just ... come back to me, please ... i can't lose you ... not again ...  ❜

[sixosix]

hello six!!!💋💋hope ur having a great day so far !!! uhhhh so like i have a request request (??) so in thawed right, can i have their ages and some timestamps????? like how old were they in *this/*that scene. doesnt have to be canon in game tho🥰. cause i just reread thawed(again, the whole thing, i know) and i noticed that my drawings are inconsistent with their age HAHHAHHSHD

mainly when:

when arlecchino took mc in

lyney and lynette first joined the HOH

when mc got burnt

how many years they spent together in the HOH w mc(if u want, you can add how long it took for mc to warm up to lyney)

divorce arc #1(when mc got her vision)

how many years mc spent w rosalie

when aether first met mc

if you cant do it tho, thats fine too🙏🙏🙏this is mainly because i want to draw them as accurate as i possibly canHAHHAHHAHS

(so uhm, for some reason tumblr wont let me send this ask un-anon-ed so uhhhh yeah.)

-akagi (the priest)<33

HELLO AKAGI OUR FAVORITE PRIEST(how do u not get sick of thawed like genuinely LMFAOO i have to reread it all the time when i write a new chapter and i… I CRINGE SO HARD😭) ALS IM SO SORRY FOR REPLYING SO LATE I LIVE YOU

ngl i was so vague w their ages on purpose because i am so incredibly lazy but since the series is nearly ending and youre asking me, ill do my best!

arlecchino took in mc when she was around 8 yrs old lets say!!

lyney and lynette joined HoH when they were around 10? (assuming theyre 20+ now, and they met Cesar 10 years ago canonically)

but this is assuming they met cesar around the same time they joined HoH because Cesar mentioned the twins talking about Father

MC got burnt: 12 years old, lets say

MC starts acting strange (intimidated by lyney) around 13 yrs old (aka the same age she left the House)

they spent about 2–3 years being friendly (as friendly as MC can get w lyney anyway!) before it went to shit

and they meet again when lyney/mc are 20–22!! aka their current age for the game

that would mean aether met mc around 20–22, and mc has spent about 7–9-ish years w rosalie

but this is all assuming that lyney got his vision at such a young age! i have a feeling that ingame he actually gets it when hes around 18

[blizzardstarx]

Honeystar of SunClan!

"Something bout the way you took my hand

Reminded me of a forgotten plan

I saw forward to a time when I felt alive

Cause finally I loved a good man

Please don't tell me how you feel about me

I cannot survive it one more time

I hurt you the most of all the hurt you ever felt

Cause I told a loving man I didn't love him back"

The way to look at it/the order of events is just ignore the main image (the middle), and left to right

took all day to draw this 😭😭😭

The gray white and black cat is Badgerstar, the leader before Lynxstar and his mentor.

Closeups:

the soggiest cat ever </3

ngl i wanted to be a bit vague and leave everything up to interpretation but i cant hold it back anymore LMFAOO

Lynxstar and Honeystar were childhood best friends and were rivals, training and hunting together. They fell in love, but as moons passed, Lynx(i forgot his warriors name 😭😭😭) grew more and more distant, often going off talking with his former (he was still his mentor, just saying former cause he’s a warrior) mentor, Badgerstripe. Throughout his apprenticeship Badgerstripe had basically corrupted him with his evil thoughts, teaching him his manipulative ways.

Badgerstripe became Badgerstar, and moons later, he gets found out, but not before he had made his former apprentice deputy. Badgerstar had given him plans if he was found out, to continue his legacy.

Lynxstar became leader, leading the clan under a violent and aggresive leadership, attacking the other clans and arguing with them over land. Honeyleaf didn’t like this, and hated how distant he became, but every time she would try to talk to him, he would either get mad at her, manipulate her into staying, or just ignore her. Lynxstar would constantly yell or belittle Honeyleaf, even though he was his deputy and mate, and would sometimes get physically violent. Honeyleaf would confide in her other best friend, Goldenheart about this. Sometimes, Lynxstar would see this and get jealous and act controlling.

Over the moons their relationship went through the stages of an abusive relationship, and one day Lynxstar snapped after Honeyleaf disobeyed him, attacking her. They fought, and Honeystar killed him by biting his neck, making her feel immense guilt and trauma. Goldenheart helps her heal from this and they eventually became mates.

Also just to clarify, Honeyleaf did also love Goldenheart in the middle of this because of the way Lynxstar was treating her, they just didn't act on it but Lynxstar picked up on it.

Also Lynxstar was definitely not a loving man LMFAO i like him as a villain, my evil murderous guy but also an abusive asshole

Dont get me wrong though, he's unredeemable and his actions are unjustified, even though it was because of Badgerstar, his actions were still unjustified

I like the song and Honeystar's story was based on an animatic of that song

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Welcome To Night Vale: Episode 199 "Guidelines for Retrieval"

i listened to this in a car ride and lemme tell u rn that u should definitely listen to this podcast when in a car ride, esp if its nighttime or becoming nighttime idk what about it adds to the listening experience but it is such a weird but vague vibe that fits WTNV perfectly like having Cecil's voice in your ears and watching as the scenery goes by and listening to all the weird stuff is happening is *chefs kiss* yk??

anyways moving on to the actual episode

it hit HARD

like, when i heard 'oh this landfill doesn't accept physical objects, just memories and ideas' i was like 'oh thats silly'

i was WRONG

"You got rid of all the monsters in the closet, but you also threw away the bravery you found when you opened the door and looked them in the eye." i was like 'oh shit that is... wow'

that whole thing about how getting rid of every bad thing thats ever happened to you and making it so u essentially restart ur life from when u were like born i guess?? so u have to go on without experiences so everything is better and everything is worse

something about that just got to me

“We can’t make any guarantees, but would it help to tell you that items often become lighter the longer they’re left here? It’s not a particular service that we offer, just an observation we’ve made. Many people find that once they’re separated from their non-material waste for a while, it has somehow become more manageable in the meantime." this too

how all that pain becomes more manageable with time, how, in comparison, it gets better

man those two parts just got to me, the whole segment of the guidelines of retrieval just struck a chord with me

but there were some silly stuff in this episode, like all wtnv eps have

so the segment 'The Night Vale Tree of the Month' was funny the tree of the month being a bush LMAOAOOA

"They soon went extinct because this was so insulting." LMFAOO rip camelops tho

the fact that its genuinely actually snowing in Night Vale?? and Cecil clarifying that it isn't 'fake snow' lmaoo

but why is there snow??? like there was no explanation

weather segment was a banger as usual, and i noticed that it actually was related to the topic of the episode which was cool

"Anyway, I definitely will be taking them up on that offer this week. There’s a super vivid recurring nightmare I used to have that would make a great NFT." CECIL?!??!?!? but also what would that even look like

guess i'll never know cuz i cant ever afford an nft

overall, a good episode and its given me stuff to think about late at night when im trying to sleep

Good night, Night Vale.

Good night.

[ruvviks]

keep elaborating on mikhail and vitali 🔫👀😊

hehehehehehehehehehheheheee alrighty here we go >:)) banner says mikhail and vitali because they're the main characters of this post but of course vincent is also gonna be here because he's very important to me and to them and actually without him, vitali and mikhail would NOT be friends right now but that's a story for another time <3

also. i'm. i'm done typing now and um. this is very long and i'm very fucking sorry LMFAOO i just have so many thoughts about them and this specific topic was Very interesting to write about for some reason so i made it a lot Deeper than it probably should've been LMFAO but it's. it's fine <3 i'm normal about them as always

so before we start, here's a post that describes how they all met each other if you're interested and haven't seen it yet, i think that one is the most important one for Context reasons. this one and this one also explain some of their dynamics a little better but those are Optional and also Incomplete bc they focus on specific things only but yeah as you can see i have. a lot of thoughts about them all the time LMFAO

SO. HERE WE GO >:)

as i already mentioned in the ask game, most of the clown brigade (mikhail, vincent and vitali + vitali's inner merc circle + the canon characters they consider their friends) is comfortable with platonic kisses on the lips :) kinda all started with vincent because he just loves his friends a lot and it stuck around and now they're all doing it <3 vitali's office best fixer office in all of night city

however, surprisingly enough, despite sharing plenty of you know cheek kisses and forehead kisses and the like, mikhail and vitali have Never shared a kiss on the lips even though they're. you know. [gestures vaguely] like That LMFAO but there's actually a bunch of reasons for this which i will Attempt to describe

it's mostly mikhail being hesitant in all of this. the two have a lot of history together and he feels like it would be inappropriate because of that in a way? plus the fact vincent and vitali are together (but at the same time he HAS shared platonic kisses with vincent so it's definitely Deeper than that), like as i mentioned before he sometimes feels like an intruder a little bit and even though he's managed to shed most of that feeling these days it still makes him a little :// on occasion

mikhail is mostly scared of the possibility of things becoming different if they were to kiss; kind of an irrational fear, but very much real to him. first of all, there was a time at some point in their lives he WAS in love with vitali (probably in their final year of high school, haven't really decided yet but it's a long time ago); he fears that if they were to kiss, he might fall in love again and that's kind of unfortunate considering vitali is in a relationship LMFAO

and the second reason is a little Vague but it's like. he feels like a kiss would somehow be an "end station" in a way; as if everything they had was all just leading up to THAT point, one kiss, and after that it would all be over and he would just, to put it bluntly, never feel any strong emotions about vitali ever again whatsoever ://

vitali at the same time really doesn't mind all that much. he's mostly just aware of mikhail's worries about it (they haven't talked about it, but vitali would pick up on it quickly because he's good at reading people) and that's why he hasn't really initiated anything; and he would also agree with mikhail that it feels a little off possibly because they've already known each other for SO long and never did anything like that together before?? so it's just. it DOES kind of feel like an end station in a way. i hope this makes sense and if not i'm sorry LMFAO

so yeah there's a lot going on there! all of it however comes forth from the same, following issue: there's a LOT of things left unsaid between the two of them, which thus far hasn't really put any pressure on their relationship yet because it hasn't really been a big deal, but it IS a big deal when it comes to all of these worries mostly mikhail is having

the "things left unsaid" part becomes relevant very soon after the end of the arasaka chapter. i've talked about this before but i'll just talk about it again for context LOL it's basically after vincent has been stabilized and he's recovering at viktor's shop, and vitali is spending the night at mikhail's place

it's a bit awkward between them, because of one main issue: vitali had "died", mikhail blamed himself for vitali's death, but then vitali WASN'T dead and mikhail suddenly didn't have to feel guilty anymore. and then he got stabbed by brainwashed vitali but he wasn't aware of the brainwashing part yet so he just believed vitali had joined arasaka willingly, and mikhail also blamed himself for that and believed he deserved to be stabbed by vitali for it. and THEN it turned out vitali was brainwashed and then mikhail had to just kinda deal with that so. he's dealing with a Lot here

it's worse because it's the second time something like that has happened. the other time was after high school, when they separated ways to study and then lost contact with each other; mikhail blamed himself for this for the full six years, but when they reunited he learned vitali had simply lost his phone and had not been able to find mikhail back. of course it's nice to then be together again and mikhail just ended up pushing all of it away because. well. he WAS just very glad and relieved to have vitali back. but what do you do with guilt like that? it wasn't necessary, but it's still six years of feelings and emotions that are just. kinda there now you know. like what do you do with all of that. i don't know. mikhail doesn't know

and in that moment (yes i'm also still writing the fic don't worry it's coming), all of that also comes flooding back into his brain so it's very busy in there!!! because now he has guilt for two very big things that actually weren't his fault at all and he really doesn't know what to do with it :(

however, the One Thing that really causes the metaphorical bucket to overflow is the fact he's kind of. he feels a bit underappreciated by vitali in a way?? vitali used to compliment and praise him and his work a lot and hasn't really been doing it all that much lately (also because you know. the heist. and then all the in-game shit. and then he left night city. and then he came back and died. you know how it is) and it's made mikhail feel a bit :// because of. well. everything else that's also in his head

so during that night, the two actually talk because mikhail's head is so Full he can't keep his mouth shut. he's however not that great at talking and ends up hurting vitali's feelings, and all of the things mentioned above are brought up and well it just kinda turns into a fight <3 it gets resolved very quickly though because they both cannot stay angry at each other and everything is back to relatively normal within a few days but! it IS kind of like a Checkpoint in their relationship almost because this is where things start changing for them >:) in a good way >:)

of course they're also gonna have to work through the feelings of guilt they both carry etc etc but that's not what i'm gonna focus on here LMAO that's for another post <3 what i'm focusing on HERE is the acknowledgement of work and general appreciation and stuff like that, because now that vitali is aware of that, he can start to work on it again >:)

it's not that he just. stopped doing it because he doesn't appreciate mikhail of course, it's mostly just the fact it all became routine, almost; he's become so used to mikhail just perfectly executing gigs and the like, it's become routine and he sometimes just forgets to tell mikhail that he appreciates him

however, now that he's doing it again (actually using Words, important side note here it'll make sense later trust me) it feels a little awkward for some reason?? and unnatural?? vitali at first just assumes he needs some more time, but at some point after a gig he notices mikhail is Really uncomfortable and vitali apologizes and honestly tells mikhail he's not sure what's up and why it's so difficult suddenly

that's when mikhail realizes that he actually doesn't need vitali to tell him he's done a good job :| oops :|

mikhail basically realizes he's been comparing himself to other mercs and noticed how vitali was praising them and not him, and he felt a little left out; without closely looking at himself first and realizing he did not actually need it himself :) you know how brains get sometimes :) but yeah he decides to just bring that up to vitali because he now knows that Staying Silent about it is not the way to go! see they're learning

(the next part is copy pasted from my notes because i liked how i worded it so pardon the sudden writing style shift but i'm sitting here losing braincells over them)

vitali thanks mikhail for sharing this with him and when mikhail apologizes vitali reassures him it's okay and he appreciates it a lot, and says it takes a lot of courage to speak up especially when you already fear it won't come out the way you want it to. he reiterates it's okay and he's not mad at mikhail at all, and COMPLETELY understands why mikhail felt left out

he explains to him the reason he encourages and praises a lot of his mercs (specifically newer ones, and also specifically vincent) is because he can tell a lot of them 1) have low self confidence or 2) have been severely mistreated by other employers and/or fixers, and vitali wants to give their confidence a boost and wants them to know the work they do is appreciated. there's also some who don't require it, and then he usually lays off, except for bigger gigs; or when it goes wrong, in which case he assures them it's alright to fuck up sometimes and it won't change anything, as long as it doesn't become a regular thing (in which case vitali would still check up on them first to make sure it's not something in their personal life that's causing them to be like this, rather than immediately kicking them on the street)

vitali explaining all of this to mikhail helps a LOT, because now mikhail sees the underlying pattern and motivations and it helps him make sense out of it all in the bigger picture. he feels a little embarrassed now, and somehow feels like he should've known; vitali says even if he could have known, it's still easy to get your judgement clouded by your own feelings and emotions in the matter, and vitali would never hold that against him. he asks him if there's anything he can do for mikhail to make him feel appreciated as well, since words of affirmation clearly aren't working that well; mikhail thinks about it for a moment, but then admits he doesn't actually know

however, in the following days mikhail very quickly learns what DOES help; it happens when he brings vitali some tea one day at the office, since he hasn't seen him all day and is a little worried about him. vitali barely looks up from his work, but still mutters a sincere "thank you, love" and grabs mikhail's hand before he can walk away to softly kiss the back of it

for some reason, that gesture makes mikhail feel like how he used to feel, back when they were still teenagers and vitali would hug him or something like that; a feeling he hasn't felt in a long time. it's strange because when he thinks about it, the gesture really isn't new; vitali does stuff like that often, but it had become so normal to mikhail (in the same way mikhail's great work became normal for vitali) that he barely noticed it anymore. he feels a little guilty for not picking up on these things before, especially considering he made such a big deal out of his feelings of underappreciation (see this is why the "appreciation with Words specifically" thing was important earlier lol. the dots are Connecting)

this is when mikhail decides to talk to vincent actually LMFAO there's so much going on in his brain. if i were him i would just be crying right now i think. more copy pasted notes below i'm so sorry my writing style is all over the place in this post

talking to vincent suddenly is a lot easier than talking to vitali and mikhail throws everything that's on his mind out, from the fight that happened between them (vincent has already been slightly aware of it, but now gets all the detes) to vitali trying to put in more effort to them realizing mikhail never really needed that to mikhail now realizing vitali has been showing his appreciation the entire time already. he thinks he's making little sense and apologizes to vincent when he's done rambling, but vincent waves it off and says mikhail is making perfect sense to him actually (their brains are tuned to the same frequency, it's fine)

vincent says there's probably a lot more there that he isn't aware of, but to him it just sounds like they both got stuck in a routine together to the point a lot of their interactions were starting to feel neutral at best, and all the positive feelings they used to get from it are seemingly not there anymore because it's become their new neutral, so to say. he thinks it's good that mikhail suddenly felt overwhelmed by emotion from vitali's gesture; to vincent that's a sign the routine has been broken up, so he thinks it would be good for them to give it some more time, and for mikhail to focus more on gestures just like that one to see if that helps him feel loved again

SO THAT'S WHAT MIKHAIL DOES!! i'm so sorry this is already so long but i'm not done yet i'm so sorry do you all still love me

anyway mikhail does as vincent says and gives it some more time, and very quickly picks up on a lot more things vitali does; the little smiles he gives him when they pass each other in the hallway, the gentle arm squeezes in conversations he doesn't give to anyone else, and the way he always says something positive about the things mikhail says (small remarks that can be easily missed, such as "you make a great point" before continuing the convo). AND IT HELPS!!! it makes him feel good, like vitali always used to make him feel when they were younger, and it's refreshing :)

mikhail eventually gathers the courage to talk about it to vitali; he starts by saying he talked with vincent, then tells him what vincent said to him (nearly perfectly quoting him, because he memorized his exact words), and says he thinks vincent is right; he tells him he has noticed a lot of little things vitali does that make him feel appreciated, and he says he feels a little embarrassed he hadn't noticed it before, even though it HAD in fact all become routine and it MAKES SENSE he didn't notice it anymore

he apologizes to vitali for having jumped to conclusions so quickly; he feels like it could've been avoided had he talked to vitali about it more, and he feels bad for the hurt he's caused him. vitali thanks mikhail for coming to him with all this and says he really appreciates it, as he himself had been unaware of it as well and this clears a lot of things up. he's glad to hear mikhail feels a lot better and hopes the things he himself does is enough; he still feels like he's lacking, and asks if there's anything else he can do to make it more obvious. mikhail assures him that's not necessary at all (to bring up my favorite quote ever: "is there anything nicer, any greater honor you can show me than simply being with me and allowing me to sit in front of you?")

mikhail then also asks if there's anything he can do for vitali; if anything, all of this has made him aware of the fact he himself might have also not been showing vitali all too much affection and appreciation, and he worries vitali feels similar to how he used to feel before his realizations; he really wants vitali to feel like he's feeling now again, and wonders if there's anything he can do to make that happen

vitali tells him that is also not necessary BECAUSE HE ALREADY FEELS SO LOVED BY HIM. ALL THE TIME. he says he feels like there's been so many moments at which mikhail could've easily walked away from him, and it would've been justified, yet mikhail always stayed, no matter what. and he has been showing him affection and appreciation; bringing him something to drink, cleaning the apartment when vitali and vincent were both at work, doing the stupid paperwork vitali has been dreading to do for days now, and so on. he admits it has started to feel like routine for him; but now that he's aware of what's going on, he can focus on breaking the routine as well, like mikhail has done. he thinks with a little bit more time he'll feel a lot better as well, and mikhail agrees

more time passes and vitali goes through something similar as mikhail; he's suddenly a lot more aware of the little things mikhail does and it makes him SO HAPPY but most of all relieved as well. he's missed this feeling, and has been subconsciously wondering where it had gone- to have it back is reassuring, and he feels a lot better knowing it was all just a misunderstanding and not them "falling out of love" (in a platonic way but like. you get my point LMFAO)

SO. that all brings us back to the kissing thing. well two things actually LMFAO basically all of this has made mikhail and vitali realize some stuff and it also changes some things in their behavior

first of all, up to this point, vitali has been hesitant to say "i love you" to others (except for vincent of course). he brings this up to vincent one day (inspired by mikhail; vitali feels a little embarrassed he never considered talking to vincent about any of this, feeling like vincent could've helped them out so quickly had he known about their struggles AND HE IS RIGHT BECAUSE VINCENT WOULD'VE BEEN ABLE TO PREVENT ALL OF THIS FROM HAPPENING but it's ok. it's fine. i'm over it) who immediately reassures him it's 100% okay to say that to people, and saying it often / to a lot of different people does not take away its meaning. if anything, it reinforces it with each time it's said, and saying it (and meaning it) to a lot of people would just mean he has a lot of love to share- which, to vincent, he truly does

so, vitali starts saying "i love you" a lot more to his friends- mikhail specifically, but others as well, and even though it feels a little strange to him at first, he becomes a lot more comfortable with it very quickly. AND THIS IS WHAT HELPS MIKHAIL SO MUCH because his views of romantic versus platonic affection have been a little messy thus far, since he struggles with putting names on his own ways of showing affection, as well as others' ways toward him. this has all made him realize it really is not all that black and white, and the more he worries about trying to make "sense" out of everything the more pressure it'll put on him, as well as his relationships with others. he starts saying "i love you" to people a lot more as well and this allows him to let go of his views, and allows him to just feel what he feels and not worry about it all so much

AND THAT'S WHERE THE KISSING THING FINALLY COMES IN HALLELUJAH because as i mentioned before, when it comes to a kiss on the lips mikhail is 1) worried he'll fall in love with vitali and 2) scared it will be like an end station, but!! neither of those are true!!!!

one, he has ALWAYS ALREADY LOVED VITALI. ALWAYS. not in a romantic sense (ok except that one time maybe but not anymore) but he has truly always loved him and if anything, yes sure, a kiss could reinforce that feeling, but how is that a bad thing?

and two, vitali is never going to disappear out of his life, and mikhail would never allow him to fade into the background. mikhail thinks that it COULD have happened (had they kissed at any time before their fight, any time before they figured out what was going on between them; the whole normalization thing, the routine that needed to be broken etc etc) because in a way, that HAD already caused vitali to fade into the background of mikhail's life a little bit, and especially considering mikhail's worries, a kiss could've definitely caused that to happen even faster. but now that they're aware of the routine, and know it could happen again but also know how to combat it, if anything, a kiss could be just the thing to break it up, and to give them a reset. like a fresh new start :)

so that kind of sums up what their deal is LMFAO they basically just needed to snap out of that routine in order to realize a lot of things about themselves and about their relationship, and now that they've done that they're comfortable enough to also share platonic kisses like the rest of the clown brigade :)

this is also a good moment to bring up something i left in the tags LMFAO, i Have in fact considered a polyam relationship for mikhail, vincent and vitali but i've decided to Not go there actually, this is mainly because i really like the friendship dynamics they currently have going on and i feel like putting them in a romantic relationship would kind of undermine that in a way, plus all of the growth they've gone through etc etc

on top of that, vincent would also feel pretty uncomfortable and a little shoved to the sideline if mikhail were to join his relationship with vitali, because of the history they have together :// vincent is in comparison to them only "just" there and it would make him feel very upset, so i don't think it would last all that long and it could possibly even drive them all apart further to the point they might not even be friends anymore :/// so yeah i'm not going there <3 LOL

anyway that's all of the thoughts i have right now i think?? it's. it's a Lot again. and the reason some of these notes are so detailed is because i kinda wanted to write a fic about it but also i wouldn't know how to structure that well so have this lore post instead LOL

this entire thing can also be labelled as MY journey from being :// about mikhail and vitali platonically kissing each other on the lips to Actually Realizing it's not that Big of a Deal but. we don't have to talk about that <3 LMFAO don't perceive me i've said enough

[vydante]

Trust Me | Natasha Romanoff x Stark! GN! Reader

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: GN! Reader x Natasha Romanoff - Platonic/ Romantic, up for interpretation...

Plot: There was no way around it. It was either you or Natasha. She didn’t want you to go, and obviously, you didn’t want her to go either. You knew she was as hard-headed as you, so you came up with a plan to get the soul stone, even if you had to lie to Natasha about it.

A/N: (shitty) Angst. Endgame spoilers, but if you haven’t seen it yet by now... Then don’t... Don’t read this... I Guess lmfaoo... Inspired by this post on Instagram. I wanted to show Natasha some love, and since she Did Not Deserve To Die (not to say that Clint does), might as well Kill Someone Else ;) And this was originally a male reader fic, but it was vague enough so that it can be gender neutral.

“... It’s going to have to be one of us.”

Your jaw clenched as you were sat on the ground next to Natasha, who held her head in her palms.

You were silent as you peeked through your lashes to look at the bastard who was already up here. He’s also silent as he looks at you, almost through your soul as your guts clench with anxiety.

“... What if he’s bullshitting us?”

Your voice was quiet.

She didn’t answer you, though you didn’t really need an answer to that question. It was inevitable. Neither of you could ever go back from this- you had only one chance to get the soul stone, no matter what it took.

Your lips were pressed in a fine line.

You thought about it logistically, trying to find some way to justify you being the one to jump.

Family?

You winced.

No, that wasn’t really a great one to start off with. Biologically speaking, you had your father, Tony. You’d know he’d miss you beyond words, after all you saw him grieving for Peter first hand. And Pepper would be devastated from losing you, her first- if not technical- child...

As for Natasha...

As far as you and the team knew, she doesn’t even know her own family members or if they were even alive. Hell, she didn’t even know her own father’s name when the red skull guy said his name.

But, either way, the team would miss her... And besides, Tony would still have 2 kids left- Morgan and Harley-, and if this whole thing works, 3 since Peter would come back. 

And chances are if it does work, then they could just... Use the Infinity Stones to resurrect you, right?

It was a gamble to take, but if it meant that you were to be the one who jumped, then so be it.

But... How were you going to convince her to let you be the one to jump? There was no real guarantee that you could be resurrected, and even then, she’d argue that she should be the one to jump since she’s older than you. 

She always used that to her advantage, saying that her age came with more wisdom than you’d ever have. Even if the age gap wasn’t all that big, she’d still say that.

You sighed quietly.

Either way, there was no real way of going around the argument that she should be the one to jump. All of the logistics point to her being the one to do it, even if you didn’t want to admit the facts.

Your head buzzed with ideas until one hit you. 

“(Name)?”

You stood up abruptly.

Was this going to work? What if she doesn’t agree with your plan? How are you going to convince her to go through with it with you?

You held your hands out to her and she took it with a curious but grim expression. Chances are, she’s probably thought of a million ways to get you to stay behind. 

“Follow me...”

You held her hands with a tight grip as you walked towards the edge of the cliff. You were a few feet away from it as you stopped and turned around to look at her in her eyes.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you spoke in a low, quiet voice, trying to make it seem like you didn’t want the red skull guy to hear. Either way, it didn’t matter if he heard you or not, but it would at least give some sense of slyness that should spark some hope in her.

“I have a plan, Nat.”

She raised an eyebrow.

“Care to tell?”

She kept her voice at a soothing calm tone, but you knew better than that. Her palms were getting a tad bit sweaty. You really didn’t know who she was trying to calm down- you, or her.

“I know this might sound really stupid, but most of my plans are stupid but they work. You just... Please, just trust me, okay?”

You weren’t lying. Whenever you used to suggest plans to the team when you were all in your prime time, it sounded absolutely bonkers. But never had they failed you, so no matter how ridiculous it was, the team always trusted you and your plans.

“Okay. I trust you.”

She nearly whispered that her warm breath momentarily heating you up as you both stood on the cold clifftop. You searched in her eyes for any hesitation. Any reluctance, any doubt. 

There wasn’t any of them in her eyes. Just trust and mutual understanding.

Your heart ached.

She trusted you.

You were thankful that you kept up that little tidbit of yours up until the bitter end. You were thankful that she trusted you. Just so you could use it to your advantage.

“To keep it all short... We jump off together.”

Her eyes widened and her mouth opened. She tried forming words, looking into the windows of your eyes, searching for humor in them. Only seriousness.

“... What...?”

You squeezed her hand and felt your heart swell when she squeezed right back.

“Look, Nat, both of us are stubborn as a mule. You won’t let me jump, I won’t let you jump.”

You shook your head as you pulled her in for a hug. She didn’t hesitate to wrap her hands around you as you murmured quietly.

“But... I have a plan, and that plan needs us both to jump.”

She leaned back, but not enough to separate herself from your embrace. Her lips quivered as she tried to smile at you.

“(Name)... I don’t...” She shook her head as she cast her eyes down. She rested her forehead against yours.

“... I don’t know, (Name)...”

You strained a smile as you closed your eyes.

“Natasha, do you trust me? Yes or no?”

You prayed that she said yes. There was a lingering doubt in the back of your head. What if she said no? What would happen then?

Knowing Natasha, she... Oh God, she wouldn’t hesitate to try and beat you into the ground, just to prevent you from jumping off. 

You both knew in your heart, even if she was more skilled than you, you had an iron suit for god’s sake. You could easily overpower her into the ground, even if that meant having to do the worst just so she could stay down.

You opened your eyes and stared right into hers. Emotions were swimming through her eyes as they were illuminated by the dim sky.

“... Yeah... I trust you...”

Relief flooded your system. You were glad. If she had said no, you two would eventually have to brawl for the cliff.

But as quick as the relief came, it left and was replaced with anxiety.

If your plan worked, then...

You stepped back and faced the cliff. You held her hands with a vice grip as you both approached the edge. You swallowed the lump lodged in your throat as you teetered over the edge. You take a quick glance down as your stomach dropped to the floor.

It... You were so high...

You snapped out of it when you felt Natasha squeeze your hand. She’s smiling at you, which makes your throat clench up. She thinks it’s a good plan.

She thinks it’s a good plan.

She thinks it’s a good plan.

She thinks it’s a good plan.

You clenched your other fist behind your back, trying to get rid of tears threatening to come out. You looked away and down at the bottom of the cliff before glancing back at her with half-lidded eyes. You chewed on the inside of your mouth as you sent her a smile.

“Trust me, Nat. I have a plan.”

You prayed that she didn’t hear the uncertainty in your voice.

You two stood there for what seems to be an eternity before you nodded at her, and leaned forwards together and off the cliff.

The cold wind hit you with more force than you were expecting.

You felt like you were flying in your suit, freefalling as you always did in your free time.

Only this time, your suit wasn’t going to save you.

You still held hands with Natasha as you were both falling. Blood rushed to your ears as you pulled Natasha close for a hug. She returned it back and you saw her lips moving, but you couldn’t really tell what she was trying to say.

You glanced up- or down, since you both went head first, and saw the ground near. You couldn’t see the ground from the cliff, but now, you saw it clearly.

Strangely, it was rather clean. Just rubble.

You swallowed as you heard F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice in your earpiece.

“7 seconds until impact.”

Shit, you had to act quick.

You glanced back at Natasha, and you could tell she was getting extremely nervous as the ground got closer and closer as each millisecond passes.

“5 seconds until impact.”

You snaked your hands over to your nano-tech storage center- it was conveniently on your chest, just like your fathers. You tapped it and felt the nano-tech forming rapidly. Only this time, it wasn’t wrapping around you.

It was latching itself onto Natasha.

‘Take her to the top.’

The suit commanded your last order. You pressed your lips firm on her forehead and pulled back, mouthing her your last words. 

‘Trust me.’

Her eyes widened as you pushed away from you and watch as the suit form at light speed over her body. She’s trying to struggle out of it, but the suit simply holds her in one place as she screams at you.

“(Name)!”

You sighed quietly and watched with a smile as the suit completely forms over her. The suit immediately flings itself upright and uses the leg thrusters to stop her from descending with you. 

Quickly, her figure fades away from your view until the fog takes over. You couldn’t really see the cliff top from here, but you closed your eyes.

It wouldn’t really matter now.

All that you could do was pray that the next time you saw her, she’d forgive you for using her trust in you to your advantage.

“... Where’s (Name)?”

Tony asked Natasha. She avoided his gaze and stood there silently. 

Steve frowned and put his hand on her shoulder. 

“Romanoff...?”

His voice was gentle but firm. Natasha’s lips quivered as she lifted her head up to reveal her glassy eyes. Tears gently slid down her face as she locked eyes with Tony.

Realization passed Tony’s eyes as his hands trembled. Fear rushed through his palms as he furrowed his eyebrows. He clenched his hands as the shook.

“No...”

“Tony...”

Thor approached him from behind and placed his hand on Tony’s back. He turned around to look Thor in his eyes, and all Thor saw was immediate grief.

“My baby...”

Tony’s voice trembled as he gripped Thor’s bicep. Clint and Scott hung their heads as they didn’t know what to say. Bruce shook his head as he clenched his jaw, tears already slipping down his face.

Natasha’s voice was caught in her throat. She wanted to say so many things to Tony right now. She wanted to fall to her knees and beg for his forgiveness. She wanted to cry and yell and scream and punch the ground for letting you- letting you trick her into jumping with you.

She wanted to do a lot of things, but she could only say one last thing before she tasted her tears streaming down her face.

“... It should’ve been me...”

[meaniegf]

tagged by @dimplehobi​  thankies 💌

rules: answer the q’s and then tag 20 people at the end 

nickname(s): none lol

gender: female

star sign: scorpio

height: 4′10 lmfdaoo

time right now: 1117AM

last thing i googled: emails mystic messenger (I REDOWNLOADED THE GAME OK YES)

favorite bands: well other than bts n my kpop groups paramore probably

favorite solo artists: mnfksdf idk

song stuck in my head: not today 

last movie i watched: i dont remember :O probably your name that was so long ago

last tv show i watched: i dont watch much tv

when did you create your blog: this blog??? uhhh feb 2015 mayb

what stuff do u post: :+) 

when did ur blog reach its peak: uh idk really probably in late 2015 when i started making original content 

do you have any other blogs: ya my food sideblog @/eatrin LMAO

do you get asks regularly: nah not really :O

why did you choose your url: bc jin... so handsome and perfect.. for Why

following: 439

posts: 28164

hogwarts house: its either hufflepuff or gryffindor

pokemon team: mystic bitch

favorite colors: black/red/maroon/burgundy

average hours of sleep: 7-8 is my ideal 

favorite characters: .............uchiha itachi

what are you wearing right now: striped shirt and shorts

how many blankets do you sleep with: one 

dream job: a .. middle school teacher but im stuck at the preschool lvl for now

dream trip: !!! japan/s.korea!! new zealand bc my friend said its awfully pretty aaah OSWIN WE BASICLALY WANNA GO TO THE SAME PLACES LETS GO

92 truths tag

tagged by @okimtae for this one this iS SO LATE BUT thx sophie 🌷  AH and i love ur blog theme btw its so cute

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

LAST… [1] drink: water [2] phone call: my mum [3] text message: probably something vague like “JVXCJVSD” [4] song you listened to: 드림 by bolbbalgan4 xfzmnf i luv the song sm [5] time you cried: like.  i think... 3 days ago?

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: no [7] been cheated on: no [8] kissed someone and regretted it: no i havent kissed yet [9] lost someone special: yeah my grandpa [10] been depressed: lmfao [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no i havent gotten drunk sfdFSDlgsjk

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] black [13] red [14] ..maroon/burgundy

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: uuuuh yes if u count online [16] fallen out of love: who [17] laughed until you cried: i think so [18] found out someone was talking about you: yeah! but in a good way [19] met someone who changed you: i guess, [20] found out who your true friends are: wat r friends [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yike.. no.. i dont even fb anymore

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: uh probably like 98% [23] do you have any pets: no :( [24] do you want to change your name: nah [25] what did you do for your last birthday: doing my kids’ report cards..... lol [26] what time did you wake up: uhh i had trouble sleeping for some reason so i woke up late like at 10 [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: i dont remember [28] name something you cannot wait for: uhhhh i want a nice job n to have money asap [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: two days ago  [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my anxiety.. be gone with it [31] what are you listening to right now: nothing [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: no [33] something that is getting on your nerves: a lot of things [34] most visited website: uh tumblr probably n then like yt [35] elementary: sucks ass [36] high school: ugly but tolerable [37] college: fun while it lasted [38] hair colour: black [39] long or short hair: uh ....... its to my chin [40] do you have a crush on someone: does jimin count [41] what do you like about yourself? ill get back to u on that [42] piercings: multiple on both ears, 4 incl a helix one on left and then three on right [43] blood type: I duNNO this stresses me out i need to find out so i can read up shit like personality articles based on blood types [44] nickname: none [45] relationship status: lmfao [46] zodiac sign: scorpio 👅 [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: i dont rly watch tv so.,  [49] tattoos: none [50] right or left handed: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: does sticking some hot rod up my nose count bc i used 2 hav alot of nosebleeds and had to go for some ENT treatment the doc literally burned the hot metal rod and shoved it up my nose   [52] piercing: ears [53] best friend: uh [54] sport: uhhhh [55] vacation: malaysia lmfaoo [56] pair of trainers: i dont think i ever had trainers

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing.. i should eat tho [58] drinking: nothing [59] i’m about to: start crying in the club [60] listening to: the A/C vent noise [61] waiting for: nothing [62] want: to hold a cute boy’s hand [63] get married: ill think about it [64] career: left my previous job but im a preschool tchr

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs [66] lips or eyes: both [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: older, but the women in my fam r with younger guys so we’ll find out lmfaooo although personally i prefer older men .. jin hmu [69] romantic or spontaneous: idk [70] nice arms or nice stomach: why not both [71] sensitive or loud: sensitive? [72] hook up or relationship: i dunno, [73] troublemaker or hesitant: i think i have enough hesitance in me to cover for the whole r/s

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? nah [75] drank hard liquor? nah [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? nope [77] turned someone down: i dont think so [78] sex on first date? nah [79] broken someone’s heart? hopefully , JUST KIDDING probably not [80] had your own heart broken? not romantically [81] been arrested? nope [82] cried when someone died? yea [83] fallen for a friend: nah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? good qn [85] miracles? not really   [86] love at first sight? nah [87] santa claus? no lmao [88] kiss on the first date? i mean whatever [89] angels? yea?

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: a what now [91] eye colour: black or dark dark brown. but it looks black [92] favourite movie: ghibli movies, your name

2 lazy to tag xmkdfsd but if u can do it if u wana !