#but i know this is a rough time of year for a lot of us
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Viktor... - Viktor x reader
Arcane Masterlist | Main Masterlist
Words: ~1100 TW: none
"Viktor!" you shouted, but the man never seemed to even consider stopping. "Viktor, wait!" Your desperation was growing stronger with every step, tears slowly blurring your vision.
Was this what he wanted? To disappear? Leaving you behind like you were nothing?
"Did I do something wrong?" your voice echoed as the man you once loved turned away, the dark cloak gracefully falling onto his new body. He wouldn't have even stopped to look at you if it wasn't for Jayce to tell you he was leaving. His body froze, his mind racing with the new sensations he felt. He slowly turned, strands of hair stuck to his forehead.
"No! I have to…" the hurt in his voice obvious. "I'm not…" he hesitated, not sure what to say next. Was he even alive? Was he even human? "I don't even know what I am anymore…"
You cautiously stepped towards him, taking in his features. He was suffering before, you knew that. He lost a lot of weight in the past years… His sickness was getting stronger, day by day, but now… Now he was standing in front of you, on his own legs. Now he was standing taller, the weakness you once saw in him gone.
Your hand pressed against his cheek, but he wasn't met with the warmth he once felt - it was something unusual. Peaceful, but not in a way he was able to understand. It was electrical, mechanical, not human-like. It was like a fire started underneath your palm, but it didn't hurt. His hand hesitantly touched yours, something that resembled a heartbeat seemingly getting stronger. Was it still his heart?
"I know what you are…" you said, the familiar brown eyes looking at you, their softness ever so unchanged.
"I killed Sky…" his voice trembled slightly, your heart skipping a beat. You were the first he ran to when this happened. The first to know everything he never let anyone know. You were the first to see him for who he really was. And now, thinking that you might be afraid of him, it made his body ache in unpleasant, strange ways. "I am murderer…" he eventually continued, his words quieter than they were in those many nights you spent together, hoping not to wake up anyone.
You just now realised the roughness of this new "skin", the coldness in it, a contrast to his gentle touches. Different from the way he used to worship you any chance he got. You were his only reason to continue fighting. His only reason to continue his research - because maybe, one day, your lives will be better. But the roughness was just on the surface... somehow, you could still feel the warmth. The kindness in his soul was as it always has been - unparalleled.
"No…" You softly said, cupping his cheeks. The touch sent a wave of energy coursing through him, not with the intensity of a shock, but with a steady, unyielding pull that reminded him of life itself. It felt like a promise, something soft yet grounding, pulling him back from the edge of despair. “You’re my Viktor…” The words hung in the air between you, their weight settling in the space around you both. Viktor didn’t move at first.
His eyes stayed locked on yours, searching for any trace of doubt, any sign that you might be lying. For a long moment, neither of you spoke. His breath came slower, almost as if he was afraid to exhale, fearful that the fragile connection you had could shatter with a single movement.
Viktor’s forehead found its peace against yours, just as it always did. But this time, there was a tremble in his touch, a hesitant pause before his lips parted to speak again. The gentle pulse of your shared breath seemed to reverberate through your bodies, and for a moment, the world outside of this fragile moment disappeared. You could feel the echo of his heartbeat, faint and distant, but still there, somehow keeping him tethered to you. "And nothing could make me not want to follow you until the end of the time…"
A small smile crept on his face, your words seemingly reassuring him, even if just a little, that maybe he was not as inhuman as he thought he was. "I can't ask you to follow me…" he told you, knowing that it would perhaps mean the end of your life. Knowing that it might bring you more pain than his disappearance would have.
"Of course you don't…" you chuckled. "But I will anyway. I always did as I pleased, right?" the sound of his soft laugh made your heart jump, your ears enlightened as you heard it.
His fingers intertwined with yours, the whole world becoming silent, almost nonexistent. In the stillness of the moment, this touch was a silent understanding, a bond that spoke louder than words ever could. Your souls were connected once again, just as they were always meant to be. Fighting to find each other, fighting to find peace once again and now… fulfilled that they were finally reunited.
"It's not gonna be easy…" he warned, pressing a light kiss on your temple before he moved away, the coldness of his absence making you shiver.
"It's never been… But we managed…"
He smiled and all of the stimulus he felt stopped. Something similar to peace conquered his form now. Something stronger than whatever the Hexcore was doing to him.
You pressed his hand against your chest, the vibrations of your heartbeat resonating through him. You could see his mouth slightly opening in fascination at the intensity of his senses.
"Can you feel it?" you asked. "Can you feel it beating under your touch?"
Viktor’s fingers tightened around your wrist, as if afraid to let go. For a moment, he said nothing. His chest rose and fell in uneven breaths, a mix of disbelief and awe flickering in his expression.
"I can't promise you I'm the same..." he whispered, his voice trembling as if uncertain whether this was real.
Your heart was pounding in your chest, a powerful pain overcoming it at his words. "Whatever IT'll happen, I will face it with you. I know I want this, just please... Please don't push me away." He caressed your cheek, a weak smile on his face as he saw the determination in your eyes. The world became still. It was peaceful now. The past was a distant memory. The future - uncertain.
But the present felt just right.
#arcane#viktor arcane#viktor x reader#viktor#arcane viktor x reader#viktor arcane x reader#viktor x you
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❃ FLUFFCEMBER 2024 ❃
day 01: holiday decorations — lewis hamilton x reader
song rec: my kind of woman - mac demarco
“as long as you’re next to me, just the two of us”
fluffcember masterlist
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
You and Lewis had decided to spend the Holidays at your place, and you couldn’t wait for him to be finished with the season and come over! You knew how much this year had drained him and you really wanted everything to be perfect for the cozy relaxing time you will spend together. Also, your family would be joining you two for Christmas, so the decorations must be absolutely flawless!
Except… your boss asked you to work some more days before vacation. He was a very kind person and needed help, so you didn’t have the heart to say no. And when you came back home, the day before Lewis’ arrival, you were so exhausted that you fell asleep instantly and forgot about the decorations.
The next day, when Lewis ringed your doorbell, you were so worried he wouldn’t like your bare house. You opened the door and closed it behind him. “Hi.” He looked absolutely handsome, as always.
“Hello, my love.” He let his luggages down and hugged you tightly. “Oh, you have no idea how happy I am to be here.” He caressed your cheek and softly kissed you on the lips. Lewis’ smile faded when he saw your sad face. “Hey, what happened?”
“I’m sorry you have to see the house like this.” You lowered your gaze, a bit embarrassed.
He looked around, frowning confused. “What’s wrong with the house?”
“What do you mean ‘what’s wrong’? There are no decorations! I know you had a rough time this season and I wanted you to find everything decorated for Christmas, but I had to work till late these days and…” you sighed “It’s the most boring house ever!”
He smiled, a bit amused by your reaction, his hands still holding your face. “Who cares? You’re here, it could never be boring.” His brown bambi eyes searched for yours.
You hugged him again, nuzzling your face against his strong chest. “I missed you.”
“Missed you too.” He placed another kiss on your forehead. “You know what? We’ll do the decorations together. It will be even more fun!”
You nodded, finally smiling.
You helped him unpack his things and order them in the closet, all tidy as he liked. Then you two picked up the decoration from your garage and put on some Christmas music. Suddenly his presence made you feel happy again. You started with the three. It took you a lot to put all the baubles, Lewis following your orders without a single disagreement. He almost ended up tangled in the colorful lights and you laughed at him. Oops. Then it was time to decorate the rest of the house. In between one decoration and another, he took your hand in his to make you swing to the rhythm of music.
“Here.” He said, wrapping you around in a fluffy golden tinsel.
“Lewis!” You protested, chuckling, trying to get it off yourself.
“Bet your family will love it.” He joked.
By evening, you both were tired, but happy with how the house turned out, very warm and cozy. After dinner and a hot cup of camomile, you curled up together in the bed, under the fresh sheets. “Thank you, Lew.”
“Don’t. It was the best day I had in a while.” He kissed you on the nose. “You make me happy.”
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Grumpy.
Ooooo a Greg Nolan ficcccc! Ok this one I just had to write as smut because oh how I love my hubby, my pumpy umpy umpkin, huggy bearrr Greggy Nolannn(sorry if they was cringe as hell-) Hope you enjoy!🤭
Characters: Greg Nolan X wife!reader
Warnings/triggers: SMUTTTT, argument, angry sex, fingering, handjob, spanking, swearing, Greg being rough, use of daddy
Tags: @atleastpleasetelephone @i-r-i-n-a-a @theelvisprincess @thelonelyheart @polksaladava @hooked-on-elvis
_____________________________________________
Greg has been in such a grumpy mood lately and you know it’s his job that’s poking at him, you’re quite proud of how well he’s managing his anger because there were times where he took it too far and hurt some people’s feelings and you made sure to talk to him about it. You’ve been married to him for 6 years now and really, you’re still surprised how easy it is to annoy Greg, it’s like how a man pokes a bull and you have to admit your husband being this grumpy and sarcastic bum sometimes does things to you. That frown he almost has all the time is so hot, it’s so sexy and his voice, crisp, deep and grumbly, a lot of the time you can’t help rubbing your thighs together.
You do listen and comfort him from time to time, when he wants it you mean. It’s just when he comes home nowadays, roughly closing the front door. Huffing and puffing as he yanks his tie and jacket off, makes your brain turn to mush.
He’s just so sexy when he’s angry.
Now, you know some people might say that is quite toxic, to find your partner when they’re angry attractive but come on… doesn’t the thought of allowing him to dig all his anger deep inside of you with large firm hands gripping at your hips like a vice. Never letting you go until you get him to that place he craves sound delicious?
It’s so delicious that this afternoon, you are going to get yourself all dolled up for him. He’s been going through it this week and you think he deserves a bit of pampering and hopefully a bit of rough sex to get through this week of turmoil. You’ll get yourself in your best lingerie and curl your hair and when you finish, you’re gonna quickly run around the house, finishing off the rest of the chores you’ve been meaning to do this weekend, and finally after a little while of doing just that you gently sit yourself down on the main couch in the living room, fluffing your hair and adjusting your bra, biting your bottom lip at the anticipation of your husband arriving home.
Slam.
“Hi, honey.” You say, lovingly. Pushing your body off of the couch and padding over through the archway to the front door, holding your arms up to rest on his shoulders. Giving him the usual welcome kiss that he sighs from. “How did work go?”
“Shit.” Greg grumbles.
You can already feel your center tingling. “Oh.” Raking your fingers through his hair, you keep a bit of distance with your bodies. “Wanna talk about it?”
He huffs. “I’d just be telling ya the same thing.”
“I don’t mind.” You comfort, stifling a smile feeling his finger brush against the side of your thigh.
“What’re you wearin’ this for?” He asks and you smirk a little looking into his tired eyes, keeping your composure level.
“Thought I could give you a little bit of loving…” You lift your knee ever slightly, grazing your bare thigh against his clothed one. You slide your elbows down to rub your hands up and down on his chest. Inching your face to be that bit closer to his, nuzzling his nose with yours but he sighs a bit agitated and pulls away.
“Not ta’night, baby… I just want some peace.”
Lightly moving your arms off of him and walking past to make his way into the kitchen, you follow behind, quietly. Placing your hand on the counter as you watch him grab a beer from the fridge, popping the lid off with ease and taking a big swig. Your other hand fidgets with the strap of your bra, standing in a way to make him notice you but he just turns around and leans back against the same counter, facing away rubbing his face with his free hand.
“Ugh…” He groans. Hanging his head low as he takes another couple of swigs. Roughly pulling on his tie but when it gets caught suddenly he’s slamming his beer down and ripping the thing off. Throwing it over the counter for it to land on the floor. “Damnit!”
Your body jolts a little at the sudden noise, silently watching him in front of you pace back and forth his hair a bit more disheveled than before and as he’s taking off his blazer and rubbing his forehead. A deep frown appears on his face.
“That sonofab*tch doesn’t know what he’s talkin’ about, tellin’ me ta do two photoshoots on Friday even though I got f*cking five to do on that same day. Comin’ in everyday ta tell me the same goddamn thing, sayin’ he’d pay extra but he never f*cking does… Could shove a f*ckin’ camera up his ass and tell ‘im ta piss off. I’m only one f*cking man.”
“...Honey?” You call out. Walking towards him with great caution and when your hand goes up to touch his shoulder, you blink feeling him slapping it away. “Baby you-”
“Not right now.” He growls.
But you try again, this time stepping in front of him and holding onto his shoulders. Your eyes peer up at him with concern and as you see he’s about to push you away you brace yourself only for nothing to come and you just hear him breathe in deeply and close his eyes. “Baby-”
“Listen to me, Gre-”
“I don’t wan-”
“You can always take a couple of days off to rest.” You say quickly in hopes that might help but clearly you’re wrong when he turns away in almost disgust.
“I ain’t got time for days-”
“You can make time-”
“MAKE TIME MY ASS.”
He snaps, making you flinch. “I’m sure your boss would-”
“Damnit!” He spits, turning away but when his gaze lands back on you. Your heart skips a beat seeing his blue eyes now on fire.
“F*cking ‘ell” He yanks on your arm and soon pinning your back to the kitchen counter, you squeak, feeling him tear your black panties off letting them fall, all ripped up on the floor by your feet, a hot breath on your ear. “Turn around.”
“W-What?” You stutter, chest heaving with shock.
Breathing heavily, his frown deepens. “You’re gonna take me like a good girl.” Gliding his big hand down squeezing your right ass cheek in his palm, your hips buck feeling his fingertip nudge against your already wet hole.
“O-Okay.” You whimper.
“Hm?”
“Yes, daddy.”
“Gonna take me, good?” He asks with something a bit softer in his tone of voice but when you nod and he turns you around, pressing your torso onto the cold countertop, his next actions make you scratch the idea of him going easy on you right out of your head.
SLAP.
“Daddy!” You gasp, back arching feeling the sting on your skin.
“F*ck…” He breathes, pushing you back down. “Be a good girl f’me.”
You nod and your hand quickly grips the edge of the counter as your warm skin touches the cold vinyl making a shiver go down your spine and the clinking of Greg’s belt fills your ears. Gulping at the sound of his moans as he strokes his cock, you whimper loudly feeling from out of nowhere him push two of his long fingers inside of you, pumping them in and out quickly groaning at how wet your pussy is and not long he pulls them back out, cursing at how you taste as he sucks his fingers. “Mmm…”
Gripping onto your hip and guiding the tip of his cock to your dripping entrance, he thrusts himself inside with no warning, his hold tightening listening to your cries. “Greg!”
He begins to drive his hard length deep inside of you, not giving any time to adjust and as you feel the sensations spread all throughout your body, your head starts to spin.”Mm-”
“That’s it.” Greg groans, gritting his teeth. Not wasting any time on speeding up the rhythm of his thrusts.
You whine, rising onto your tippy toes trying to ease the slight pain that’s slowly forming into pleasure Greg slams your hips to the edge of the counter and rams his cock impossibly deeper. Leaning over your back as you quietly start to moan. He sucks the skin on the back of your neck in between his teeth, kissing there as his hands slide up to the top of your hip bones. Rolling his eyes back at your gushy walls clenching around his girth, coating him in all your juices.
“Taking me s’well…” He murmurs breathlessly in your ear, hastily unclasping your bra and sliding his hand underneath your body to grasp onto your breast rubbing his palm over your nipple making you moan and your arms shake as they try their best to hold you up. You bite your lip.”Goddamn…”
His thrusts get stronger and stronger as every moan and grunt goes by and wet sounds of your body colliding together fills your beach house soon your hitched breaths and slurred moans join in.
“Daddy…” You beg.
“Gonna get us there, baby…gonna get us there- oh yes…yes.”
Your eyes roll back, his tip nudging at your cervix. It’s now hitting that place over and over and how your moans were big and loud before, now they are deafening. The sensations get so good, so overwhelming good that it doesn’t take long for Greg to shoot his release into your womb and you cum hard on his cock.
“F*ck yes, baby…” He whispers after slowly coming down from his high. His forehead resting on the back of your shoulder as you pant.
“Feel better?”
“Mhm.”
“Grumpy.” You laugh breathlessly.
#Greg Nolan x reader#live a little love a little#elvis presley#elvis fans#elvis#i love him#elvis fandom#60s elvis#elvis imagine#elvis presley x reader#elvis smut
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dragon riding equipment | aethergarde academy dr
date: november 23, 2024
it's been a sec since i've done a longer post (like a little over a week or smth.. right?)
I was busy with my finals... I still am, but like... I miss posting 😭😭
Equipment will be outlined in aethergarde's student handbook too!
ANYWAY-- enjoy this incredibly long post! I'm sorry if there are any typos, I don't feel like looking over everything (T-T)
how to get your equipment (kinda)
It's pretty easy to find shops that sell dragon riding equipment in cities-- but in rural towns and villages, this kind of equipment can be almost impossible to find near you.
If you are not starting off as a noble like me, buy your equipment within the first week of school-- actually, no, get it ASAP. You should, ideally, start looking for equipment after you retrieve your egg (you need to get your egg as soon as you get to campus).
What if you don't have the equipment by the time you need to start using it? You'll be left out of lessons, standing off to the side while your peers fight or fly, which will absolutely tank your grades.
You should have your equipment before the first month of school ends.
If I have a month to get said equipment, why not wait?
There are lots of dragon riding equipment shops, but not all of them are of good quality. Rough half of the students attending Aethergarde will not be nobles, on top of that, nobles will commission the best shops-- especially luxury brand shops-- to custom make their armory, saddles, etc.
This makes the dragon equipment market rather busy around this time of year.
BUT
I'll help ya'll out, though, I can't promise you'll be the only commissioning things from these places.
school supplies list
let's start with the obvious, you'll need either an enchanted fountain pen, a regular fountain pen + ink, or some quills and ink. Quills and ink are cheaper, they're the equivalent to like, wooden pencils. Fountain pens have the same reputation as mechanical pencils. Enchanted fountain pens are really trendy! Definitely also get a set of gum wax, aka waxers (erasers); kids like to call them gummies (fruit gummy resembling snacks are called jellies here!)
You should get basic stuff like loose parchment (loose leaf paper), an academy bag (a backpack, highly recommend a messenger type bag), and writing books (notebooks to take notes in)
dragon mounting gear: includes such things like a saddle and reins, very similar to horse gear
wind-breaking charm OR riding goggles OR a riding visor: Wind-breaking charms are pretty hard to find-- I mean it's not impossible, but it's just not cheap. Riding goggles are an old rider thing, they aren't used much anymore. Riding goggles look like your typical steampunk-esque goggles. If you want a physical facial wind breaker, get a riding visor. Riding visors look similar to ski visors, but the glass lookin part tends to be tinted orange due to a strong sunglasses effect.
kinda like this ^^^^ but w/o the gas mask; if anyone's got a better idea for this btw, plz let me know!
I'm still in the works with this aspect.. mostly bc I feel like the visors don't fit the fantastical aesthetic-- but I didn't want to immediately default to using magic and charms because I want the rider uniforms to be more unique than the typical 'fighting leathers', yk? Idk, maybe the décolletage cover is unique enough.
Other sight wind-breaking options:
wind-protectant eyedrops: these are rather new (has been released to the market a year before you shift here) the liquid is runny like normal eyedrops when you put them in your eyes, but the substance begins to form a film over your eyes. The film feels exactly like contacts, so it's easy to forget the substance is still on your eye. The film only lasts for a few hours (the film will eventually dissolve), and does not do any damage to the eye. To manually remove it, use the 'antidote' eye drops (wind protectant eyedrops and antidote eyedrops are sold in a set) to lubricate your eyes, then after blinking a few times, remove the film by softly pinching it out of the eye (NOT WITH UR NAILS, USE THE PADS OF YOUR FINGERTIPS!!!). The downside to these eyedrops is that they do not protect against the sun; though, sun-resistance eyedrops are starting to come to the market. You must make sure the sun eyedrops are wind-protectant friendly, or the sun eyedrops won't stick to the film, causing the sun eyedrops to leave your eyes too quickly. These eyedrops are also pretty expensive, but it's still less expensive than rider grade wind-breaker charms.
rider grade sun-resistance charm: A lot of people carry these around just in general, especially during summer, but the one's you should buy should be rider grade. Rider sun charms are stronger and are made to be used when you're flying in the sky for long periods of time. Sun charms need to be replaced every few months; all sun-resistance charms have to (legally) have a label that gradually changes to black-- the darker it is, the less it works. It typically starts to darken after two months of use.
moving on--
fighting attire: Unfortunately, it's not ideal to fight in aethergarde's uniform-- But, it's not like it's impossible if you take the outer coat off. Speaking of uniforms, Aethergarde provides a fighting garment set that comes with the formal uniform (the pretty one). You're required to wear it for fighting lessons, including outside missions; in your third, fourth, and fifth years, you can start replacing elements of your uniform with better material. Why not simply allow students to get their own fighting garments from the start? Students need to know how to fight wearing armor made for higher ranking riders-- the material is different from lower ranking riders' uniform.
you'd be wearing smth like this but w/o all the stringy bits! consists of a lot of wild dragon hide.
a weapon: you'll need to have chosen a weapon before the end of the second month!
optional riding supplies
décolletage cover: Main purpose is to provide warmth for the face and neck area without compromising movement. It's highly recommended-- plus, you'll look cool. Many décolletage covers are charmed to always be warm and protect against harmful gases.
often looks like this but less kinky looking and the bottom part is fitted to the chest-- also not all of them have this same design, but they all do cover the same areas.
it'd fit like this ^^^^ to the body!
riding gloves: helps you have a better grip with weapons or to your saddle. If you're planning to sleep on your dragon while it flies, there's a little belt mechanism that you can loop through the front of the dragon saddle that attaches your hands to the saddle. This helps keep your body from sliding off the dragon during flight. If the front of your saddle isn't comfortable, you can loop the belt through any belt buckle on the dragon; the most common place is around the bottom of the dragon's neck (pictured in the 2nd pic). It's best to get black gloves, but brown can also work.
the highlighted yellow area is, relatively, where the most popular glove attachment is (for napping). There'd be more belts and stuff around the dragon btw, I just didn't feel like doing all that shit.
belt vial holder: you can place travel sized containers of potion bottles in the best + you can attach charms to the belt too
flight bag(s): This bag can be easily attached to your dragon's saddle, most saddles can hold up to 2-4 bags. Bags in general can be tailored to become flight bags, but it's best if the bag has some sort of tight buckle-- you don't want your bag to fall open when you're flying around!
these kinds of bags are common riding bag designs! if you have a smaller satchel you like bringing around, you can put it inside of one of these bags
how to get your equipment (actually) pt.2
Like I mentioned earlier, it's better to buy rider equipment in cities rather than villages and small towns. During rider season, it won't be uncommon to see a bunch of stalls along the streets selling rider stuff.
Getting stuff like academy bags, belt vial holders, and travel bottles from stalls isn't a bad idea, but it's always best to get your most important equipment from an expert with a good reputation.
Unless you know the crafter is great at making everything-- extremely durable saddles, reins, weapons, and fighting attire, you should go to shops that specialize in each part.
recommended shops:
Since common street shops will be busy this time of year, I'm going to recommend you some underground shops.
I cannot guarantee that these places will be completely empty, as they're all well-known in their own right, but they all will be able to cater to you before all of your deadlines.
Make sure you bring the actual school supplies list with you!
middle steed
Name: Aadam El-Hussein
Specialization: dragon saddles, belts, and flight bags
Summary: After his father's arthritis in the hands started becoming worse, Aadam took over Middle Stead. His dad still helps around at the tannery though! As with all the shopkeepers, Aadam and his father are extremely passionate about their jobs. Don't be afraid to ask for any innovative features; like if you think you'd sleep a lot on dragonback, you can ask Aadam to make the saddle more comfortable for you to lay in a certain position. If you're extremely worried about safety, you can always ask to have other safety features implemented in the design.
To get here:
Find the Dragonmead Brewery in Itresal (the city Aethergarde Academy is located in) the alehouse is located on Millmount Street.
There should be a space between that brewery and the bakery next to it-- go down that alleyway and pass two wooden doors. When you get to that third door, knock; either an old man (Aadam's dad) or Aadam himself will open the door
From there, you can order a saddle and all the appropriate equipment you need
Some tips:
Get another saddle commissioned by him every two years; dragons grow relatively fast, so simple tailoring won't always suffice
You can put off getting saddles until your dragon near rider flight age
Instead of bringing your dragon to Middle Stead, bring him into Aethergarde. He'll need measurements to make a proper saddle
Any metal (like in the buckles) should be plated with a matte coat or cold black iron
storm forage
Name: Reynard Ulysses
Specialization: Dragon rider armor and rider fighting attire
Summary: Reynard was born into a rural farmer family, but after his older brother ended up being a rider, Reynard moved to Itresal with his brother. Since Reynard was often tasked with preparing hide, he decided to work at a local butcher shop to help his brother financially. Oftentimes, his brother would come home and complain that he needed to replace his fighting garments. The two of them couldn't afford to keep buying cheap fighting attire, so Reynard started learning how to make it himself. Eventually, he started selling his products to other people-- over the years, he's honed his skills, and became known in underground spaces for having great fighting attire.
To get here:
Located in the southern part of Itresal in Ranger's Way
Go down the alleyway between Steel Whim (blacksmith) and the Loving Fowl Inn
Walk straight until you reach a fork; walk through the rightmost path, then go left at the end of the path
There should be a wooden sign that says Storm Forage on a door; knock on that door, you can order from there
Some tips:
You may see Callisto here
Everything you wear has to be matte; tell Reynard to plate any metal on your fighting attire with cold black iron
waning moon burrows (face wear)
Name: Yessuf Yohannes Tarik
Specialization: rider goggles, rider visors, cloaks, aerodynamic magitech
Summary: Yessuf is the only one out of all the merchants so far who was born of noble status; however, he left home to escape from the classic noble lifestyle in his early 20s. He no longer wants to be a noble, and simply identifies as a commoner. Yessuf was particularly driven to escape his luxurious life to pursue his passions and sell his products at a more reasonable price. Ever since he was young, he had a strong affinity for engineering, but when magitech came around, he took his passion to a whole different level. Though is not a dragon rider, he was always fascinated by dragons, this spurred him on to make technology that would aid riders. Yessuf is an innovative prodigy; Yessuf's shop is most likely to be busier than the all of the ones I've mentioned so far.
To get here:
Located in the central part of Itresal in Quarry Avenue
Find The Pioneer Brewery and ask for a "vermond tea served with a stick of sweetbark"
The bartender will ask you to come to the back to see the new selection of sweetbark; follow the bartender, they will take you to Waning Moon
Some tips:
Literally every single product this guy sells is amazing. Not a single one is bad, he puts in a lot of effort to make everything he sells as good as he can make it
Only sells wind-resistance charms on the weekend, but sells wind an sun-resistance eyedrops Monday, Wednesday, and Friday
His wind-sun resistance eyedrops and his wind-resistance charms sell really quick
if there's something you want that he doesn't actively sell, like, perhaps... a flying ship.. you can commission him to make one, but you will prob need to provide him with a lot of the materials
You should get wind-sun resistance charms here; they're cheaper because Yessuf does not base the price on existing market value
the dew drop: potion's shop
Name: Katherine Dowenstein (Blonde lady), Lorelai Dowenstein (Brown hair)
Specialization: Potions, tonics, elixirs, balms, herbs
Summary: Katherine Dowenstein grew up in an orphanage. Despite that, her life was rather peaceful growing up. Since she loved going outdoors, cooking, and baking, her caregivers often remarked that she'd be a great apocathary when she's older. Determined to meet their expectations, she began learning all about different plants and potions through both books and experience. When she was older, she decided to work in a potions' shop, but hated the restrictions placed on her. Kathie grew to hate her job, and her love for potions waned, but it wasn't until she healed a child who was thought to have an incurable disease secretly by giving the child tonics Kathie believed had a chance at helping her through her illness. That child was Lorelai; after she recovered, Lorelai begged to become Kathie's apprentice. By Kathie's request, Lorelai lied and told her parents and everyone else that her body simply fought the virus on its own. Kathie didn't want a lot of people knowing about her skills, as she didn't want to be confined by strict regulations any longer. Kathie started her own potion's shop; Lorelai helps her out.
To get here:
There's two different ways
One way is to find Lorelai; she frequents a bread shop called Crumb Hours at 8AM-10AM to read a book and eat before she goes to work (Mon-Fri)
Ask her if she's reading Time of Barbury by Guinevere Roth; she'll say yes, and she'll ask you to join her on her walk back to The Dew Drop at 10AM
Another way is to find the way to the shop yourself
To do this, go to the same bakery that Lorelai likes to go to, Crumb Hours, and go down the alleyway located between the bakery and Utred's Lenses
Go straight down until you reach the area where the path deviates; go left, continue down the path until you come across a fork
Go down the middle path; then knock on a door labelled The Dew Drop
Notice that the area is not the shop is not selling any potions-- only herbs
Lorelai will answer; tell her if she's selling the book Time of Barbury
She'll nod, and she'll take you down a trapdoor, which you lead you to the actual store
Once you see Kathie, you know you're in the right place
Some tips:
Katherine prefers to go by Kathie!
Ok so do note that the regulations placed on potions and tonics are there to (obviously) make sure that potions and stuff are safe to consume, but since it's so strict, it's hard to be innovative, and use different kinds of ingredients and recipes to make potions
"but what about weapons?"
You'll need to go to a shop that specifically caters to your weapon type; if the store sells weapons that aren't closely related to each other (like swords, bows, and scythes), it's unlikely that to shop is of the best quality. if a shop sells only daggers and swords, that means that the people making the equipment are actually specialized in making those weapons. Since there are so many weapon types, I don't think I can make shopkeepers for each!
#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting community#lalalian#desired reality#shifting blog#shifters#shifting diary#shifttok#scripting#aethergarde academy dr
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OKAY
So here's the shindig!
Holidays and December and end of the year is coming up! It's the literal darkest part of the year and seasonal depression and all those horrible things
SO.
BANDIT SHALL ATTEMPT A HOLIDAY/WINTER THEMED THING.
For the month of December, I will TRY to post a little something EVERY DAY. (The big word here being TRY.)
IF YOU HAVE REQUESTS. SEND THEM IN. I CAN ONLY THINK OF SO MANY THINGS. (they do not have to be seasonal but they CAN be)
BUT YEAH SEND REQUESTS LOOK FORWARD TO DECEMBER YEP.
#musings#bandit does an update#bandit writs fic#*writes#ugh#bandit writes fic#this is separate from any other writing i may or may not be doing#but i know this is a rough time of year for a lot of us#and this is a thing i can try to do#so that you have something - or multiple somethings! - to look forward to#note i haven't done daily updates since the pandemic but#if i could do it then!#maybe i can get back on this rocking horse and do it know!#....#maybe!
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Tonight is a great night to think fondly on Haleth and Caranthir. I think they would make such a funny couple.
Imagine??? The Big Tall Broody Scowling Kinslayer Who Is Also The One Reason The Economy Is Functioning At All Between The Different Races/Elvish Factions Who Probably Is Dying To Tell King Thingol/His Cousins To Fuck Off At Any Given Moment and hes looming over this short human lady??
This short human lady that Can, Will, and Already Has told him to pull the stick out of his ass and bullies him into doing normal townsfolk chores??? Lord Carathir, Master Economist and a Weaver with the skill to rival his grandmother, sitting there and darning socks cause his tiny mortal wife told him too. His reward will be a kiss on the cheek but she'll scold him while he does it because he said a mean thing about his Cousin Finrod in his last letter to her while he KNEW Finrod was visiting her.
Only three things in the world keep Caranthir in check: His Eldest Brother, The Lord Himring, The Current Head of the Feanorian Faction of Noldor, and Former High King; the idea that if he didn't complete his brothers' tax paperwork and run the Trade Routes then the Nolofinweans and Arafinweans would become more economincally important And We Cant Have That; and his 4'11 wife he met bloodied and wrathful on a battlefield screaming at an orc over the corpse of her brother-- it was love at first sight
#caranthir#haleth#halenthir#silmarillion#amber rambles#I honestly just love them they would be such a power couple like i can see them at banquets looking untouchable#but theyre just bitching about the other guests over wine#In my mind they are the country/goth couple of the year#Cara is used to things like this cause he grew up with Feanor and Nerdanel and they don't believe in servants#and also spent a lot of time camping while he was growing up so Cara is used to roughing it he just Doesnt Like To#but here is his tiny mortal wife like Oh My Poor Spoiled Richling Of A Husband lets get u doing some Real Work#he doesn't correct her cause he thinks its funny when she does it in front of other Noldor#cause everyone knows the Feanorians are by all accounts the least spoiled and down to earth out of all the Finweans#Cause everyone knew what Crown Prince Feanor was like
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ive been rereading your ffxv fic "im trying hard to take it back" for literally four years now. please end my suffering and tell me how gladio feels. please. PLEASE. (but only if u want ofc)
(fic) Short answer: Gladio feels insane guilt and spends a lot of his life trying to make this up to Prompto. In the process, they deepen their connection as friends and do begin a relationship probably around the one-year mark of endless darkness. <3
Longer answer: (implications of abuse/violence tw but no worse than in the fic itself; just what others assume to be true even if it's not in the context of this specific fic)
Gladio is a secret romantic at heart who has always envisioned meeting his soulmate, but he's also duty-bound and duty comes first. So even though he reads romance books (amongst other types of books too) and indulges in his head a bit as many people do, he's often put his duty to the crown first and foremost in his mind. He also didn't imagine his soulmate was anyone on this trip and thought perhaps the person he may have been fated to meet died in the assault of Insomnia. Even if they were a refugee, they can't be a priority to him at this moment. His priority has to be Noctis.
Prompto has obviously grown on him over the course of their road trip, but there are aspects of them that don't 100% mesh (as is true with every realistic relationship). That said, Gladio never in a hundred years would want this moment of (understandable but out of line) frustration and anger in the wake of Luna and Altissa to be a permanent mark on Prompto's face. He's genuinely horrified and disgusted with himself for a long time after this and spends most of his life trying to make it up. He feels like a dirtbag about it.
That said, Prompto runs away from him in this moment and they need time to calm down, just as the fic shows. Noctis goes after Prompto, just like in canon. Prompto falls off the train and has his Despair Arc just like in the DLC, now with the added despair of "well, in addition to being a clone, my soulmate hates me. And in addition to the mark of inhumanity on my wrist (barcode), I have a giant hand print of him literally Shoving Me Away on my face. Forever."
Aranea: Well, do you want to die about it. Or do you want to live.
Prompto, eventually like in canon: Live, I guess. But it will be excruciating.
Aranea: That's what living is. We do it anyway. Your friends love you. Get off the floor.
He fights his way through his issues and gets rescued like in canon. Gladio probably tries to talk to him when they all catch up again, trying to apologize, and Prompto tells him to hold off on that for later.
Then, of course, Noctis is eaten by the crystal and "later" becomes much, much later as they evacuate and try to survive in eternal darkness. (Though they also can't Not think about it because it's a giant hand print. On Prompto's face. And every person they meet has Something To Say about it, for better or worse, whether they knew Prompto before or not. Prompto cannot escape it, and when Gladio is not doing Crown Duties he feels he must do in Noct's absence, he's with Prompto, so he also Cannot Escape It either. Even when the person speaking is unaware that Gladio left that mark. It's almost worse when they don't know, but when they see it's Gladio, who is such a big guy who seemingly hit Prompto and left that permanent mark there, some of them get nasty to him and some back off out of fear. Both are horrible. The guilt is eating him alive.)
Eventually, enough time passes as the dust settles that they do Talk About It. Gladio apologizes sincerely, for the 500th time. Prompto's like, "Well. It's not like you could have known that this would be The One Time it happened." And then cracks a joke about their soulmate mark being a Prompto's hand print on Gladio's ass from a butt slap in another life, which does help the tension somewhat. (The more Gladio tries to apologize, the more Prompto grows sick of hearing it, so they just have to move on and keep going, as he's learned to do.)
They grow closer over time, especially because there's not a lot of people who have survived to this point and even less later on. They do get together romantically, both because they do like the idea of soulmates (for different reasons) and also because they're living out of each others pockets for years, so there's an affection and dependency that develops there. Also, teenage Prompto always thought Gladio was really handsome and teen Gladio thought Prompto was cute and sincere for a pipsqueak.
When they are out together on dates in normal settings surrounded by strangers after the light returns, Gladio will receive dirty looks for the rest of his life from strangers who see the hand print on Prompto's face and immediately (correctly) assumes it was out of anger rather than a funny accident or something. (Edit: Some people will assume there is a funny story attached. Gladio will not know what to say to this. Prompto will play along.) He will learn to live with this. Prompto is really grateful Gladio is with him despite everything.
#FOUR YEARS that's so flattering adjklasjldkja;fsal; thank you for reading and for caring after all this time. it genuinely means a lot#if you were looking for a cuter/succinct answer i'm so sorry and can definitely give you one. this was just one of my more realistic aus#my text#asks#my fic#promptio#ffxv#for the record i don't think gladio and prompto are Rock Solid for the full 10 years in this au#i think they have periods in the darkness where they separate for a while. out of necessity. as many in the dark do.#whether due to feeling antsy or personality clashes or conflicting traumas of what they've had to deal with and Missing Noct and#Losing Faith and Regaining Faith and Obligations and The Horrors and so on#but I do think they cannot escape each other especially with gladio's hand print on prompto's face and so they can't Not think about#each other always. prompto in the mirror. gladio in his dreams.#so they are always drawn together and they do work things out and get used to each other#and end up relatively happy together in the end#they lean on each other a lot in the post-noct times#especially gladio who doesn't know what to do with himself without noctis always and ignis is equally lost#making themselves useful but running around the same ruts in the ground as always#and prompto is over here pulling himself up by his boostraps while pretending he's not crying in the caravan bathroom#like they all are#i do NOT mean for this to sound as depressing as it does. I think like years 1-2 post Hand Incident are really rough with moments of light#and then all the times after that are super solid <3#they DO end up happy together it just takes a lot of hard work and they know each other better than anyone by the end#thank you again for sending this ask after 4 years it is so wonderful to read
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very very tired of all the many many things :')
#hello friends. it's the semi-yearly check-in.#school is rough this year but I'm hanging in there#I feel tired basically all the time and feel like all the motivation I have is what I can manage to scrape out from under my fingernails.#but I'm also very glad to be back at school for many reasons#I am working through some weird emotions that I didn't entirely expect (missing graduates from last year far more than I had planned to)#(a few specific people especially which is... interesting. I would much rather ignore some of that than try to interact with it.#but I'm trying to handle it as healthily as I can.#and I got to see a bunch of them last weekend for a little while and that was lovely)#(I may hop on and give some more detail about this later but for now that's where it's at)#I've been struggling with what people think of me/how to measure up LOTS more this semester so far and I really hate how it makes me feel#so if y'all want to pray for that... would appreciate it :)#also my roommate is having some really concerning health things going on and we're trying our best to muscle through but it's getting rathe#heavy for both of us. prayers for her would be appreciated as well.#also funny thing has happened -- i'm in a reading group thing with the guy I mentioned briefly here last semester#(the one I looked at and was like “aw shoot he's really cute” but didn't really know at all at the time)#so I've been able to actually have some conversations with him which is funny to me looking back now for some reason#he's cool; I hope we get to be friends eventually. :)#personal#tag post
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ugh. some thoughts.
really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.
hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.
I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.
I'm just . tired, I guess.
#spectre says#text post#negative#vent post#delete later#sorry#i probably shouldn't post this idk#tbh i know i've said this a million times but. even if i'm struggling to draw or whatever#i'm still open for asks. i want so badly to talk about my characters and the things i've been unable to explain through art#but i can't get my own thoughts together enough to know where to start with that in like. just a random post#and asks would be a great way for me to actually focus on one concept at a time based on whatever you guys are curious about#but i hate sounding like i'm begging for attention/interaction i just. genuinely don't know if anyone is interested otherwise#and if you guys do want to know more you HAVE to tell me directly#because vague forms of engagement are difficult for me to comprehend or read between the lines of#i can't read minds obviously ><;;#i know ask culture has changed a lot over the years tho and a lot of ppl don't like sending them out of being shy or whatever#which i understand#it's kind of an awkward form of engagement that no other site really has#so no pressure i'm just letting you know that I won't know if any of you guys are interested in learning more about my stuff#if i'm not told directly is all#anyway. tangent aside#its just been rough mentally my dudes. hopefully things clear up at some point and i won't feel so dead all the time#and actually have the mental clarity to continue drawing/writing like i used to again;;; God willing;;
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anyway it's such a classic dragon age game experience to go 'ahhh you know i had fun with that game and am gonna play it repeatedly and love every aspect of it possible, but with the intention of headcanon'ing and filling in the gaps in my brain and fanfic and fanart until it becomes The Perfect Media. to me'
#veilguard spoilers#rip to the people who survived off headcanon for 10 years so every new canon bit hurts#same to the people who planned rooks in advance. while i ADORE rook's personality i know it's rough out there#i'm with you partially but mostly in i thought we'd get a lot more grit than we actually got#i also thought we'd get longer romances but boy i was wrong#they really said 'figure it out yourselves' with a majority of it#so now it's up to me myself and i to headcanon new bits of lore#when i get my hands on the artbook all that shit's just going right into the 'this should be canon' memory vault#this happened in inquisition too. i vividly recall the disappointment this site felt towards story beats#like it's actually uncanny how similar the responses are esp on here vs the fandom on other sites#so i think veilguard will probably be beloved by people while we wait another 10 years for a new game#she just needs time to emit fumes people will eventually get used to
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just experimenting
#my art#my ocs#mind wolf#furry#sfw furry#based on these drawings i used to do in 2015 or so....#i know ive been complaining about it for a while now but ive been having a rough time with art this year#im genuinely my worst critic#so i tried making something without caring about the little details... and as it turns out#you can really enjoy your art when youre not picking out every little detail or thing wrong with it#anyways im probably not gonna post much art anymore. im not leaving or anything just gonna be less active probably#i realized that posting my art makes me dislike it a lot more so im trying to avoid that right now...#because when i really dont like my art then i lose my drive to create anything and its really sad
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If you want to hear something really wild I’m pretty sure my cousin doesn’t get any PTO or benefits (including health insurance!!!) at her full-time job. Which like. I would say is completely wrong (and it is lmao) but she could totally work somewhere else if she wanted to, but she likes the ~vibes~ of this place and thinks they’re good people (it’s a really small, new business). They brought cake for everyone once which my cousin thought was great and I said “I’d rather have insurance than cake” 🤦♀️. I wasn’t popular for that one. Anyway that’s my rant lol
this is a reply to something I reblogged several weeks ago but I forgot to respond. anyway yea the job market in the US is appalling in many ways. no PTO for full time is horrendous even by our standards though. I hope she gets out of there
#i also work for a small business and i keep waiting for us to hire enough people to be able to legally unionize#i dont know if we will ever get there. if we keep growing the way we do then we should but. we just had a guy leave#and have made no move to replace him at all. and then they wonder why we're just barely keeping pace#during one of the slowest times of year#but at least I have insurance!! and a meager amount of PTO#but changing jobs won't make the PTO situation any better#and i otherwise do really like my job and my coworkers a lot. turns out liking ur coworkers is huge for preventing mental fatigue#but anyway i'd have never taken the job if it didnt come with benefits#the benefits are just so scarce compared to elsewhere in the world. it's rough out here#anon#thank u kind friend#may 2024
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Just thinking about @10yrsy’s Things, y’know, casually (Patreon)
#Doodles#IZ#I know Things is long dead but I've been feeling rather nostalgic lately#Man let alone Irkens when was the last time I doodled a Latrodectus haha - and 10's style of antenna! It's all quite nostalgic#I'll try not to get Too sappy but it's hard when I was so inspired by Things! It had a big impact on me#Without exaggeration Things helped shape the trajectory of my life for quite a while - it's interesting to think about artistic influences#But gosh heck I don't think I've doodled anything of any of them since the song contest all those years ago lol#I like to think I've improved a bit since then lol ♪ Though the medium is quite different haha#Finally drew Nid! Only took a Very long time lolol#I do remember having doodled some Extreme roughs for a comic concept ages and ages ago but that's really all I remember lol#Maybe hunting down those old notebooks sometime would be fun haha#ANYway lol - enough reminiscing! There's all this current silliness!#Snarp was my favourite back in the day and I still like him a lot haha#He's a prickly little so-and-so! A cute and spicy lad! Always a fun ♪#If ''little meow meow'' had existed as a term back then I would've used it for him lol he deserves it#It really is about the [unforgivable nature] paired with [unconditional love] hhh their friendship is still really cute <3#Myk! He's always had the most gorgeous design <3 His eyes! My word!#Beauty like that really doesn't age - I was always a fan of the close up of his eye and his skin texture ahh#Probably no one remembers this blog's original icon but hmm ♪ Inspiration down many many avenues haha#Hopefully I did his eyes justice with my limited traditional palette haha#Had to show off his muscles a little too <3 Those gloves man he's just a pretty dude!#I did a bit of editing magic with Nid so if his eyeline doesn't quite match up just sshhhshshshh it's fine lol ♪#Who's saying which and who's gasping hmmm who knows it's a mystery hehe#And ending off with those two again <3 It's their dynamic I swear I just jdslfdsf it gets me bad lol#Squish him hold him (gently (maybe not that gently)) haha
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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the last two+ months have been probably the most emotionally exhausting time ive ever had, but. good news. i have been drawing again. or, trying to. and it still makes me nauseous to pick up my pen and think of everything that led up to it (i dont want to think of the past year as a waste of time and money though it feels like it sometimes). but i have been drawing. and none of it's turning out fantastic and still, i think i just needed to remind myself how much i love art and making things and watching movies and reading comics and remembering why i want to do what i want to do. and progress is progress. i am happy with this for now.
#Yes its still the most unfortunate thing to be possibly kicked out from your dream major youve worked specifically for three years#and i have absolutely no idea how to feel about possibly getting a bfa in a major i dont really care about (esp one thats so similar but -#not quite)#but ill be fine in the long run. and im happy to use my newly free time to nurse my brain back to... idk. not feeling traumatised about art#i dont think ill get to do a lot of the art projects i wanted to initially. im too tired. one day ill get back to them#this is rough. i dont know what to think. but shakey progress is still progress#also please no unsolicited advice on this specific post i am not in the mind for it rn#//
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How to find a job that doesn't make me despair to live
#I LOVE the library but i've been part time for two years and i am not making enough to support myself lmao#i am very fortunate to have a lot of savings but i live alone in an apartment i signed for when i had two jobs and now that my income is#cut in half things are rough#and i have interviewed a dozen times or more for a promotion to full time and they aren't budging#and then yesterday one of the managers was micromanaging me and my shitty coworker was mocking my menial tasks lol#bc he is info staff and i am just lowly circulation so i have to keep my head down and shelve the books i guess?? even tho he doesn't do#jack shit and gets paid double what i do and is full time#like i got scolded and told to stop preparing for my presentation that is tonight bc i should have been making sure the books were in the#right order on the shelves lmao#meanwhile this guy has been booking vacation flights all morning#and even if i get full time and even though i work at a comparatively VERY well paying library#im still not going to make much#i have a degree in journalism and communications that im not using bc that shit made me feel dead inside#and i wanted to do something that mattered#but the things that mattered are not paying my bills or buying me a new winter coat or allowing me to do things like get a haircut or buy#clothes that i like or go out with friends or start new hobbies#and im just like is it worth it??? is this worth it???#like im not desolate or anything but i deny myself things every day bc im fine now#but i dont know how much longer i have to make the money stretch#and im tired#i just wanted to do something real that helped people#every day i get to work around books and talk about books and help people access social services#i helped a kid with homework and an elderly lady access job resources and showed a kid his favorite book series that he got so excited#about that he yelled all in the same day and it was fantastic#it mattered#but#is it worth it???#this was the dream i worked so hard for and now im looking at all that hope and effort like. this didn't save you either#idk yall its rough out here#me
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