#but i know that this could definitely trigger someone so i am absolutely tagging it

[antimony-medusa]

Okay so, why do we tag things (on Ao3). Story hits you with a little summary and then a list of things that happen in it that's as long as your arm— why's that happening? So on Ao3, there are two reasons to tag things, and they both fit into how Ao3's search function works. You tag a story with "hurt no comfort", and "cyberpunk au" and that means that it shows up when people search "hurt no comfort" (the opt-in aspect of tagging culture), but it also does NOT show up when someone is searching "cyberpunk au" but has blocked "hurt no comfort" (the opt-out aspect of tagging culture).

Tags can serve as both an enticement, for people who want specifically that thing, and a warning, for people who might be like "you know actually I don't think I can handle that right now". And I sometimes see people who are used to the way other sites use tags hit Ao3, and they are NOT used to how the tagging culture works, and they either tag their work inappropriately, or they are freaked out by the way other people's work is tagged.

On most social media sites nowdays, you tag things for exposure. People follow or search certain tags, and if you tag your tiktok with #foryoupage, it's more likely to show up on people's For You Page. (I think, Tiktok is an arcane mystery to me). There are definitely tags that circulate your fandom that are there to lure people in who are searching for that tag, I know for sure that people search on "humans are space orcs", and I have searched for "Technoblade is autistic" and I know there are people searching for "Tommyinnit gets a hug", etc. Sort of positive tagging.

Anyways, I have seen people scrolling and then they hit something tagged with like, "rape/non-con", and then they go WHAT THE FUCK WHAT ALGORITHM IS ON THE GO HERE WHY AM I BEING SHOWN THAT.

But the thing is, there's no algorithm on the go here. Sometimes yes, people are tagging with a tag that you personally see as horrible and they mean it as an enticement (A) horny brain works in marvellous and non-logical ways, B) sometimes people want to read about the worst possible thing happening), but a very good portion of the time that tag is there as a warning and to make sure that if people have excluded that tag, they don't even have to see it. You can't rely on the algorithm to not show you things you don't want to see, you're responsible for excluding the stuff that you go "uh no" to from the search. But once you HAVE excluded it, poof. You will not see that shit.

The tag is there specifically to make sure that nobody has something triggering hits them when they're unprepared, just reading along happily and then boom, erotic cannibalism. That shit is supposed to be in the tags.

(The one exception to that is if the author has selected "choose not to warn", which you are supposed to take as a warning that it's alllll on the table. Buyer beware, there could be absolutely anything happening here, including major triggering content. So I know people who search with a bunch of excluded content, and they just exclude Choose Not To Warn as well.)

Anyways, people get used to the way other sites use tags, and not only do they not know why people are tagging with all these negative things, they get used to the shadowbans. If you mention [list of things tiktok hates], you won't show up when people search. So then they don't put any tags they figure are objectionable on the work.

This is EXTREMELY counterproductive to the way Ao3 actually works, because there is no algorithm or shadowban on Ao3. Anyone who's been there a long time has had the experience of searching something and then like the third hit is something where you go "I did not even know that was a kink, okay, life is a rich tapestry", which on any other site would have been shadowbanned so hard. Which means that yes, your post is going to show up in more searches, but actually that's a bad thing, because it's going to show up as a hit for people who would really prefer not to see that.

The whole idea of Ao3 tagging culture is that you can opt in to your experience when you choose to read, whether that means you're searching for the [bad thing] or blocking the [bad thing]. When you avoid tagging things, surprising people with things like underage sex when they have had every expectation to know that they avoided that, that's BAD.

Tagging lets you actually find the target audience of people who wants to read what you wrote, and it lets people who are going to be mad or hurt by your work stay away.

Anyways this is a really long-winded way to say TAG YOUR SHIT PLEASE.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

We’re back with more replies! Long ones today…

Anonymous asked:

Can you recommend us any tumblrs to follow?

Unfortunately, I can’t recommend any tumblrs either… we don’t even have a feed here, we just drop posts and leave; I am sorry. 😔 It’s easier to check my tl when it’s only my art there lol Once again, read this as an invitation to share your favourite blogs in the comments.

Anonymous asked:

Hello! I'm the anon from the headcanon ask about TreyRidChe and wanted to thank you for answering! I had to dig because for some reason the tag system wasn't working and I was never sure if it got answered until today! Again though as someone who likes TreyRiddle first and foremost (so the bias was perfectly acceptable) I do agree Che'nya would be more a provoker especially from what I've seen in the manga. (It's really in the way Trey was so much more enthralled by Riddle from certain pages.)

I am happy to hear from you again, Anon! And I am very glad that you found the post despite all the issues with the tags… it’s very difficult to find posts on this site sometimes, especially when there are so many of them, and the notifications don’t work all the time either. 😔 (By the way, here is the post that Anon is talking about!)

Also, I completely agree with you, I still think that their dynamic is basically like this. Like I’ve said in the initial post, Che’nya loves Riddle, but doesn’t mind sharing and ultimately wants his friends to be happy, and he knows how hopelessly in love Trey is with Riddle. The manga panels with these three are so pretty and filled with emotions…

Anonymous asked:

Omg I just saw your other reply about not liking ship kids, I'm so sorry if my previous ask made you uncomfortable or something ;;;

-Idia's womb tattoo anon

Anon! No worries whatsoever, this isn’t related to it and you didn’t make us uncomfortable at all. Like I said, there are certain scenarios in which we enjoy the theme, and if it’s dark and/or kinky, the chances of us being on board are always higher. Moreover, your ask is related to a comic that we posted ourselves, so it’s all good – we started it >:3c

What we don’t like is the 100% wholesome and genuine “our baby is kicking, can you feel it?”, “passing out because he’s just found out he’ll be a father” thing. Nothing against it, it’s just not our thing. I’m also just taking my time with a lot of asks because I want to reply properly, but my brain is small and my limit is a couple of replies per day 😔 This is why I am slow…

Thank you for your concern though! And I’ll reply to you in a moment 👀

Anonymous asked:

Random, but since you imagined you don't like pregnancy tropes, does that also count for MPreg? (which stands for male pregnancy)

tbh, MPreg is not my thing, but suddenly remembered that, that’s a thing. This brings me back to the good old days of hetalia cuz this fandom had a LOT of Mpreg going around, lol.

But in a world of magic and such is not impossible? I mean, Malleus did come from an egg, so like, yeah.

Just like I said in a previous reply: it depends on how it’s used. If it’s just a happy family, and the purpose of mpreg in the story is simply to put characters in the scenario in which they are expecting, it’s absolutely not for us; it could even get triggering at times. Even in terms of kinks, sometimes it works well, but sometimes it turns into a massive squick. I can’t even describe it in a way that would be 100% conclusive; it’s a delicate topic, I guess. If it’s more messed up or if there are darker themes involved, it’s much more likely to work, and with mpreg it has a lot of potential to be messed up by definition.

When it comes to possibility and magic, yeah, twst universe gives a lot of opportunities to make mpreg happen! Be it convenient magic, unique reproductive systems of certain species, or even something that simply exists in-universe. It’s funny that you mentioned Malleus because the idea of him being able to lay eggs certainly pops up in our conversations from time to time… the mechanics of that, the implications, the complicated relationship Malleus would have with it and stuff; there is a lot to talk about. (We actually have a kinky comic where he lays an egg and Lilia crushes it, but completely forgot about it... it’s been a while.)

And Azul too, I think we talked about him making Idia carry his eggs at some point. When it’s animalistic like that, it’s much more fun because it’s less real, more weird and a bit gross <3 which automatically makes it hot because Idia would be freaked out the entire time.

So yeah, it all depends, and honestly goes from -100 to 1000 at times lol, so it shouldn’t stop you from sending asks. If the theme is something that we don’t like or have nothing to say about, we’ll just skip it.

(oh god, good ol’ hetalia days! I guess we missed all the mpreg- or just erased it from our memories lol)

Anonymous asked:

have you ever considered Sebek/Leona?.

(you view Sebek as a top and Leona as a bottom so it doesn’t break your no switching rule right?)

Leona would get a kick out of “stealing” Malleus’s little boytoy form him and setting out to do so.

while Sebek the poor naive gullible croc has no idea how even ended up fucking Leona in the first place let alone that it was happening to get under his liege’s skin…

who knows if it even work to piss Malleus off though.

You know Anon, miraculously we did talk about these two in a couple of posts!

What’s interesting about this ship is that Sebek has no idea where to put Leona in his mental scale of important people: he really doesn’t like him, he hates how Leona treats Malleus, but he is also supposed to respect Leona nonetheless (Lilia and Malleus both remind him of that) + doesn’t like being dismissed by Leona for some reason. So if Leona wants to provoke Sebek into sleeping with him somehow, it’d be easier than one might think: Sebek really is gullible… but if he learns about Leona’s motive behind seducing him, he would get so angry and also disappointed in himself that he might actually attack Leona and get in trouble for that lol

Although the thing is, there is a big problem with Leona’s plan: if Sebek is having an active affair with Malleus (= being his little boytoy), it won’t be easy to seduce him. And if Sebek isn’t having an affair with Malleus, Malleus probably wouldn’t care much. So was the croc dick even worth it, Leona?

[red-hot-kick]

I don't really know how to articulate this in a way that won't make someone somewhere very upset so I'm just going to go about this in the way I normally would: as Directly as possible.

I have to set some boundaries when it comes to my art.

For everyone with busy lives, here's the short version: If you believe, in any capacity, that you literally are any of the characters I frequently draw, and/or if you know yourself to be prone to taking fanworks a little too personally (meaning: to the point of causing considerable distress when a work is not compliant with your perceptions), please either keep it to yourself or block me. I mean that.

...Everybody else, strap in for the long version:

I don't know what any of you mean anymore when you say you "kin" a character. Not long ago, if you used the word "kinning" on the internet (ie. elfinkin(d), otherkin, fictionkin, etc.) you were most likely (with a few exceptions) talking about a very specific experience. I'm talking "compulsively eating your mother's jewelry because you're a dragonkin, and dragons hoard and eat rare gems, obviously" type stuff. Not "closet-cosplaying to school as your favorite anime character because you really really relate to/admire them". Those are fundamentally two different things. So why are we using the same term for them?

(...It was a huge mistake to come up with the word "kinnie" as a cutesy nickname, in my honest opinion.)

Now, the definition is too broad, too diluted. Now, if I see that word in a bio or a tag...I legitimately don't know what to expect. Someone could mean that they relate to the characters' plights and stories, or that they aspire to be like them and want to emulate them in their day-to-day life. Maybe they RP the character and (for some reason) don't know of any other terms to use.

...They could also mean that it is their firmly held belief that they are THE Yusuke Kitagawa in the flesh, or that Ryuji himself is beaming his consciousness into their brain from an alternate plane, or that Futaba periodically hacks into their body to speak through them, and so on.

And if the latter examples sound similar to your experience, then buddy, I don't wanna know about it. I have no goddamn business being privy to anyone's mental landscape on this big beautiful internet.

(I do want you to find a licensed clinician if you have the resources to safely do so, though. Sincerely.)

I don't want to be told that I'm not depicting "you" accurately (a thing that has happened!). I also don't want to be held responsible for accidentally hitting upon triggers that I could never anticipate, because of a stranger internalizing a character (voluntarily or not) so deeply into their personhood that a comic/fic/drawing exploring that character's canon in ways that make them uncomfortable can prompt a panic attack or a fit of rage or similar distress responses (a thing that I've been scolded by strangers over! Multiple times, even!). I also ABSOLUTELY don't want anyone to message me as a fictional character to tell me what they think of my art, or to tell me that they look to my art for things to build their personality around (which is also a thing that has happened. Are you seeing a trend?)

In all these scenarios, each person neglected to consider that I'm not a source of new "kin material"! I'm just some fucking guy, screwing around on the internet just like everyone else!

I'm not going to presume the legitimacy of any strangers' mental health status (access to mental healthcare can be next to impossible, I know), nor am I one to criticize how anyone engages with the things they like. However. Please remember that every interaction you have is a two-way street. Artists aren't content farms; they are your fellow fans.

When someone comments or tags my art to say "this is me", or "you drew me wrong", or "I would never do/say that", or that the material made them miserable or angry and that they "hate OP for making it"...I have to see that. It's only happened a handful of times. But that was enough to make me wonder with every kin-adjacent tag I see: Is this another person that feels entitlement or ownership over what I make? Is this another person I should expect comments of disappointment or aggression from if I make something that they disagree with? Do you think that I'm doing any of this for you?

[donnerpartyofone]

@brbnightmares it's especially bad with fiction and YA. It echoes the whiny complaints of how any depiction of a fat person is "glorifying obesity." I have definitely seen some anti-soc stuff represented in a way I don't like, but depicting it in a narrative is not an endorsement. I am not an anti content warning person at all, but people who call out for actual handholding in the narrative is ridiculous. very disappointing to see so many readers like this especially.

I'm gonna stop torturing people by reblogging my own post now, but I do want to liberate this stuff from the comments, so: Yes, you're absolutely right. Like considering the whole political history of gatekeeping around education and printed matter and everything, reading has become almost synonymous with personal liberation--I always think about John Waters saying, "If you go home with somebody and they don't have books, don't fuck'em!" And yet we still get young people who seem to love to read and write, but they crave to be regulated and censored; is it some kind of submission kink? That might be the nicest thing I can think about it.

Tangentially: When I was a kid my intellectual hippie parents were EXTREMELY anxious about my horror obsession. They were concerned about the grimy content of what I was interested in, and they were also concerned about the brain-rotting powers of screen entertainment. But, they would let me read anything I wanted, I think because they understood that reading is a good thing pretty much no matter what, and probably they also couldn't stand to imagine themselves censoring the written word. The funny thing is that since the word is free from the expense and complication of building special effects and getting past the MPAA, I read WAY more fucked up shit in pulp paperbacks than I could ever have encountered in 99% of all movies. But of course, it didn't turn me against my own moral sense vis-a-vis the real world, nobody's pets started disappearing in our neighborhood after I began spending hours at the library. What I remember about the experience is feeling things, not to be so corny; like fear, loathing, existential dread, and ambivalence may not be desirable real-world experiences, but books that challenge you emotionally make you grow. They literally change your mind for the better, even the bad ones can. And now it feels like there's this thing going on where people don't want to be challenged, they see adversity and unease as something contaminating and unfair, like we're all entitled to a frictionless, idealized existence even in the nonsense world of social media. Which I think wouldn't even be good for you.

It feels like we've gone from the dubious thing of people coveting the valor that is supposedly conveyed by victimhood and oppression, to people literally just wanting to be babies, and to be treated like babies. And I don't know, not to like waaaaay over-hyperbolize everything, but people need to remember that the reason fascism takes root so quickly and easily is that being told what to do, what to read, what to think, and to have every possibility of your life dogmatically restricted--to have all of your personal responsibility taken away from you and placed in someone else's hands--can be incredibly comforting.

PS I worry about trigger warnings re: *gestures vaguely* all of this. I will tag for types of real-life trauma and violence that I don't think are fair to spontaneously foist on unsuspecting followers, BUT: I often think of a time when this popular true crime blogger answered an ask where the person was asking her to tag her posts for needles. And like, I'm pretty sure the context was that she had posted the famous x-ray of sadomasochistic child murderer Albert Fish's colon with like twenty pins jammed up it. So the blogger very judiciously responded with something like, you know, "I'm sorry to have bothered you, but I'm not going to tag images of pins and needles. My blog is de facto full of disturbing and violent content, and the items you are describing are things that you might encounter in ordinary, benign situations in real life. If your aversion to them is so powerful that you can't even look at them, then frankly, that's something you're going to have to deal with privately, and you might want to avoid this blog in general." I loved her for that.

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      

Chapter 41 - Danny. Episode 4.

--------Sparkles point of view---------- Sparkle: So what have you done the past year, I mean wooh!! I gave him the elevator look and sipped my coffee

Danny: Chuckled softly Well, I figured out you had left about a week after you were gone.

Sparkle: Sorry I smiled apologizing at him

Danny: Nah, it's okay, I get it now that you explained why. You had to. and it wasn't like you owed me anything. I tried to get in contact with you for about a month, with no luck, obviously. And one night I got a call from a friend, working on one of those big hangar ships. He told me they needed crew, a paid job for 10 months… so yeah, I just jumped the opportunity, figured I needed to get away too. So 10 months and 25 kilo later, here I am. He smiled warmly

Sparkle: I giggled softly Ahh so that's why you have this whole hipster sailor look now.

Danny: Chuckled softly A life at sea will do that to you.

Sparkle: I chuckled softly I'll try to remember that. So what's with the uh? I pointed at his throat as I could see a tattoo crawl over the neckline of his knitted pullover

Danny: If it wasn't so cold I would show you. I don't know. A few artists were on the ship, and when we got bored enough, they started tattooing people. One night I guess I got bored enough as well. Well, it was more nights really. He pointed at his throat That one is not the only one I have. But as mentioned, it's too cold right now to start showing tattoos. Some other time perhaps? He smiled softly

Sparkle: I nodded softly Yeah, I would like that, you have me curious now.

Danny: He nodded towards Daniel and Ruby So what's up with you and the military guy?

Sparkle: I chuckled softly First off, he's not a military man, he was never in the military. That's just his style.

Danny: Alright… he nodded with a small chuckle and sipped his coffee

Sparkle: And to answer your question, there isn't really anything with us. He's my friend… sometimes we fuck I blushed a bit as I said the words sorry, I don't mean to sound like a whore or something.

Danny: You could never sound like that to me, so don't worry.

Sparkle: I smiled softly at him and blushed further Thank you.

---------Daniel's point of view------------

Ruby: He's stealing your girl now…

Daniel: She's not my girl. I grunted and sipped the rest of my chocolate, throwing the paper mug in a trashcan few meters from us, lighting a joint, sighing deep as I blew out the smoke

Ruby: She quickly followed me Am I annoying you?

Daniel: I smiled softly No…. it takes much more to annoy me I reached the joint to her and smiled softly as she grabbed it and puffed it

Ruby: So don't tell me you have absolutely no problem with them sitting as close as they do right now? I actually think he's holding her hand? I mean, I have seen pics of the old Danny before, but that thing over there…. he's definitely her type.

Daniel: Yeah, I know.

Ruby: She smiled at me softly, almost like she pitied me

Daniel: I let my eyes fall back to Sparkle and Danny. Yup, he was holding her hand, and she was laughing at whatever he had just said. A lot. About an hour later I found myself, tipsy, at Sparkles place. We had agreed going to her place, as the cold had only gotten worse. And the now drunk Sparkle, had been running around taking pics of us all. I was no longer mildly annoyed by this evening, but full on irritated. I just needed my bed and a good night joint. Or to stick my dick in someone. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and quickly typed a message to Congo, smiling cheekily as he answered back a few seconds later

Congo: 'Yeah, I'm awake… are you okay?'

Daniel: 'Yeah. Stuck at Sparkles place, watching her and her new boy toy dancing. I'm bored with this night.'

Congo: 'Wanna come over?'

Daniel: 'Mmmh yeah, I could really need a place to stick my dick right now'.

Congo: 'I'm sure we can figure something out'.

Daniel: 'Sweet! I'll be there in 15!'

Congo: 'Daniel, please don't drive.'

Daniel: 'Nah, my bike is back at the university, don't worry, I'll call a cab.'

Congo: 'Thank you. I'll see you soon.'

Daniel: 'Yep. See you! Stay warm!'

Congo: 'Daniel, just lock yourself in, I'll be in the master bedroom.'

--------Congo's point of view----------

Congo: I was very tired, and had actually been asleep, but I could feel through the sms that he was frustrated. He had grown quite fond of her, so watching her with someone else was probably bound to bring his mood down. I turned around in bed slowly, I was very gentle not to wake Evan, as I lifted his hand from my hip. He was sleeping deep, I could hear that on his breath, but still wanted to be careful, just to be sure. He needed sleep on top of that night. It had ended well after the good news about the mate bond. But it had still drained him both mentally and physically. So he needed all the rest he could get. I silently got up, not bothering to put clothes on, as I knew it would come off soon anyway, and so I walked silently around the bed, bending down, planting a soft kiss on Andy's forehead.

Andy: He moaned softly Whaaat?

Congo: I smiled warmly and stroke his hair Sleep sweetheart. I'll go upstairs. Daniel sms'd, he will come by soon. So I'll go upstairs with him.

Andy: He nodded sleepy Okay… have fun he smiled warmly and turned to his other side, snuggling his face in Evan's armpit with a soft smile. I knew how the smell of both of us made him feel safe.

Congo: As I passed the fireplace on my way to the 3rd floor, I quickly threw a few more logs on, to keep the house warm till the morning. Then I grabbed a couple of water bottles, a sandwich and a can of whipped cream, quickly making my way to the master bedroom at the 3rd floor. Lighting a few candles around the room, to bring a cozy atmosphere. I laid down on the middle of the bed, opening a drawer in the small night stand, grabbing a lube, slowly preparing my hole. Stroking my dick to get hard, gently circling my entry before slowly gliding a finger inside, moaning softly. With the other hand I grabbed the can of whipped cream. I absolutely hated the taste of most can foods, but both Daniel and Andy seamed to love the stuff, as long as they could use it as a foreplay. So I chuckled softly as I made a thick ring of it around my dick, and a small dot on each of my nipples. It was a total kliche, but these things always seemed to send both of them right off. So here I were, reminding myself of a stuffed turkey. I smiled softly as I heard the front door, this was gonna be good. I added another finger, slowly stretching myself as I heard footsteps in the hallway, moaning softly at the thought of Daniel coming home.

Daniel: He opened the door rather quick, chuckling loudly as his conversation went on, and as he turned his face towards me, he froze. Oh!

Robert: Bumped into Daniel as Daniel stopped, chuckling warmly Oh sorry I didn't see you ther… he froze as well as he saw me on the bed.

Congo: I think it's safe to say this was one of the more embarrassing moments of my life, and I quickly got out of bed, grabbing a shirt from the floor, I used to desperately cover most parts of my naked body with. Not easy when you're caught of guard with shaky hands

Daniel: I'm so sorry, I ran into Robert in the drive way, and as I woke you up I assumed you were just snoozing here in bed until I would join you.

Robert: He chuckled warmly, clearly amused as he judging by his rather insecure wobbly legs had had more than plenty to drink

Congo: I sighed softly No harm done I guess, but I'm gonna go take a shower and get this stuff off me.

Daniel: He nodded with a small apologizing smile We will be downstairs for a drink

Congo: I nodded without looking at them, as I made my way to the bathroom, quickly turning on the tap in the shower cabin, sighing deeply as I got under the hot water, leaning my forehead against the wall. As much as I liked seeing Robert being more open minded towards gay love, I really wished I hadn't answered my phone when Daniel messaged. I sighed softly and started washing my body, all of the whipped cream was gone already, but it left as sticky feeling on my skin. As I was done washing my body I leaned back against the wall, closing my eyes, just letting the hot water caress my body. I quickly got stuck in thoughts of the mate bond, and the things Akin had said about Andy. So many things suddenly fell into place. I was happy with this new turn. Specially since Evan seemed to already open up. We had shared amazing sex, and even if we hadn't penetrated each other, a stronger bond had definitely grown between us. I smiled softly and thought of how he had leaned against me during sex, how I had observed him swim away in us, fully enjoying the satisfaction. My thoughts started drifting and for the next minutes I cannot remember what I was even thinking of, my thoughts were just moving around without me paying much attention. I was just, relaxing. Drifting away. But then I felt someone locking their lips around my dick. I moaned softly. Daniel. He had come back just as I had started getting hard. He always had a great timing like that, like he knew when I was hard. I sighed soft and relieved, digging my fingers into his hair. Hair? I quickly opened my eyes, but as water splashed into them I didn't see who it was at first, but as the door to the bathroom suddenly opened I clearly saw everything play out in front of my eyes. And I wish I hadn't.

Andy: Congo… can we join you… HOLY SHIT!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?! Something definitely got knocked over and broke as it hit the floor RO-ROBERT?!?! SHIT FUCK!!! EVAN!!! DON'T COME OUT HERE!!!!

Evan: What happe…. DAD?!?!?!

Congo: I looked at Robert kneeling in front of me, hardly believing my eyes, as his hand was still locked around my dick. Then my eyes found Andy and his horrified face, as he tried holding on to Evan, who mostly looked like he wanted to run to the moon.

Robert: I uh… he somehow managed to drag his drunken ass up from the ground, letting go of my dick, stumbling few steps towards Evan and Andy

Evan: Just looked at him with disbelief written all over his face

Andy: What the fuck is going on in here?!

Congo: I groaned and shook my head

Daniel: WOAH WOAH WOAH He laughed out loud as he joined the way too crowded bathroom I did NOT see that one coming! He pointed at Roberts wet clothes, then me, then Robert, me, Robert, me and started wiggling his eyebrows. Then a loud moan escaped his lips as Evan punched him straight in the face, making Daniel take few steps backwards, tripping over the tub, and landing on his ass inside it with a loud bump and a whimper

Andy: Looked at Robert and me with a glare as I watched Evan turn to leave the room, but he slipped, probably in the sea of water that was slowly gathering on the floor from Robert's wet clothes

Evan: He slammed face forwards down on the tile floor, yelping out loud as he turned to his side and grabbed his left hand with his right hand, yammering from pain. And then I noticed it, a piece of glass had cut into the pillow under his thumb

Andy: Evan! Oh fuck!!! He quickly grabbed Evan's wrist and looked at Evan with worried eyes Hold still please!! What the fuck do I do here?!?! He looked desperately at me, Robert, Daniel, then Evan's hand A bit of fucking help could be useful here!!!!

Lenny: He suddenly came bursting through the open door What's going on? Is everyone alright? I heard Evan screaming?! He quickly noticed the glass in Evan's hand Oh… I guess that would explain it. May I? He nodded at Andy and the hand

Andy: Yeah… I… he hesitated few seconds then let go of Evan's wrist

Lenny: Hmm… okay he turned Evan's hand a bit it looks bigger than it is, I doubt you will need stitches, and I know you aren't much for hospitals… I can get it out for you and clean it if you want? He looked questioning at Evan

Evan: Grunted and hissed from pain

Andy: Do it dad… please!!

Lenny: Alright… he smiled soft at Andy do you have a tweezer here somewhere?

Andy: He nodded and quickly found the first aid kit in the closet under the sink, handing it to Lenny with shaky hands Is he gonna be alright dad? He looked at Lenny with anxious eyes and pulled his mohawk nervously. It had been a long time since I last saw him do that, which explained well just how much this was messing him up. And it was partially my fault.

Lenny: He's gonna be as good as new sweetheart, relax. I have pulled all sorts of things out of your body when you were kid. Always climbing trees, getting splinters in your hands and feet. He chuckled softly and grabbed a disinfection spray, spraying it lightly on Evan's hand.

Evan: Moaned out in pain

Lenny: Sorry darling, I'll try to be more gentle. He smiled softly at Evan, and stroke his cheek a single time Alright, I'll remove the glass now. Luckily it's mostly out of your skin, it didn't cut deep, so it shouldn't hurt much. Just take a deep breath, please.

Evan: He nodded softly and did as Lenny told him, and I watched him cringe as Lenny pulled out the glass carefully

Lenny: Alright, it's over. I'll just spray it a couple more times to clean it, and put a small bandage on. As he was done about a minute later, he smiled softly at Evan You're all good again now, smile darling.

Evan: He grunted and glared at Lenny

Lenny: What's wrong? He slowly got up, and as he did he seemed to notice me, Daniel and Robert… quickly connecting the dots between me and Robert. Ahh… he frowned softly Andy… will you please get Evan to bed? I'll clean up here.

Andy: But dad…

Lenny: Andy… leave. I had never seen this face on him before, it was very firm, and I feared what was to come next. Daniel, help them downstairs and then go home.

---------Andy's point of view------------

Daniel: He didn't say anything, he just quickly got up, and helped me support Evan as we walked downstairs, in the kitchen, George was drinking some water

George: Oh, what happened? Are you guys

Andy: Don't ask! I shook my head and nodded towards the third floor, and then the roar met my ears

Lenny: WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU TWO THINKING?!?! WE USE SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY TRYING TO FIX EVERYTHING FOR THE BOYS LAST NIGHT, AND THEN TODAY YOU DECIDE TO TEAM UP IN THE SHOWER?!?! TWO GROWN MEN, ACTING LIKE TEENAGERS!!! I couldn't hear what the answer back was, but the second time my dad yelled, it was even louder I DON'T REALLY CARE ROBERT! THERE'S JUST THINGS YOU DON'T DO UNLESS THERE HAS BEEN GIVEN SOME SORT OF GREEN LIGHT!!! YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!! SO MUCH TIME WASTED ON PATCHING THINGS UP WITH YOUR KID, AND THEN YOU DO THIS?! WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING HERE??!!

Daniel: Andy… let's go! He started dragging Evan towards the stairs

Andy: I quickly nodded agreeing and we all three fled downstairs, Evan and I quickly crawling up in bed, both of us only wearing boxers, so we were getting chilly

Daniel: I'm sorry if I in any way caused all of that. I'll leave before I mess more up tonight.

Evan: Please stay!

Andy: I looked at him concerned Are you sure?

Evan: He sighed deeply Yeah… I'm fine. I mean he sighed deep I could just really need a joint, and Daniel is the joint holder.

Daniel: He quickly grabbed his joint tin and threw it to Evan Take what you need, I'm sure you don't wanna look at my face right now. I really fucked up royally this time, so I'll just be next door if anyone needs me.

Evan: He frowned and sighed softly I would like you to stay. Please. He padded the bed next to him and sighed softly

Andy: Are you sure? I smiled at him softly

Evan: Yeah… I just need peace around me, please. I just can't deal with any drama. I just wanna lay down, with my mate, and relax he smiled at me softly and lit the joint

Andy: My stomach tickled as he called me his mate and I smiled bright, planting a soft kiss on his forehead

Daniel: Looked at us hesitating, then took off his hoodie, letting it dump to the floor, kicked off his boots, and then he crawled into bed, next to Evan, grabbing a joint and lighting it. Then quickly handing it to Evan.

Andy: We were just done smoking as Congo came down the stairs a bit hesitating, walking up to the bed rather shameful Evan… I eh… I had nothing to do with it. He was just suddenly there. But… your dad was very drunk, and very lonely I think… I don't think he really thought it through…. it just, happened.

Evan: He sighed softly and got up on his knees, reaching towards Congo, grabbing one of his hands gently Hey… can we just pretend it didn't happen, please? My brain is way too tired to deal with this… and that was before the joint he chuckled softly Besides we're good.

Congo: He smiled softly Are you sure?

Evan: He crawled a bit closer, planting both his hands on Congo's cheeks, caressing them softly This is how sure I am. He leaned in slowly, and planted a tender kiss on Congo's lips

Daniel: Eeeey he smiled cheekily and bit his lips

Andy: I chuckled hoarse and shook my head

Daniel: What? Not allowed to say eey any longer?

Evan: He smiled softly at Congo as he let go of him I didn't assume you had anything to do with it, and I kinda expected my dad to be very drunk to end up like that… so everyone is forgiven. I just…. can we just not talk about it, please? I don't want it replaying in my head… and I don't wanna see him right now either. I'm afraid I might just throw up. Sorry, not that there's anything yucky about you. But it really grossed me out! I mean… you and I… and then you and him… it's kinda like sharing…. he frowned deep

Daniel: Woah woah woah!! Does this mean you two fucked??!?! HA! I knew it!!!

Andy: I slapped his forehead No they didn't, not that it's any of your business. And this was your only warning. Next time you let your mouth run, I'll kick you out in the dog house to sleep! Is that understood? I glared at him and chuckled hoarse

Daniel: Yes master! He grinned wide and I could feel his boner against my butt cheek as he turned to his side. This was going to be a long night!

[freebooter4ever]

Hello! Another random anonymous but I kept seeing you’re posts about some relationship relating things and saw the negative stuff you’ve said about yourself. Even if they might be teasing jokes about yourself, you might not realize this (and not in a creepy way 😅) but you really are wonderful! I love seeing your posts and you’re personality!

You’re super pretty too! This might sound really random and weird (and I’m honestly probably not getting the right context of anything because I’m sort of confuse about the topic since English isn’t my first language and the events are hard to catch up with) but my grandma has found love when she was in her 50s and has lived a nice life.

I know your situation differ from hers but have faith in yourself. Nothing is wrong with you at all, it just takes time to find the person right for you and when you do, you’ll find someone who deserves you and you deserve them, if you wish to find someone to love of course. But try to remember that you should try and have some more love for yourself, no matter how tough it can get.

Just know that there are people out there and no doubt people waiting to meet you and love you. Haha sorry if this all sounds super weird and awkward, it’s just how the people of my culture see things. There’s always that one person out there who loves you and is waiting to love you 😊

Hi there! Not annoying at all, my entire blog could probably be classified as annoying, this is most definitely not a curated space :). I waited to respond to this cause i wasn't sure how.

First, im really sorry, i should probably tag my insecurity posts with trigger warnings, i know it can be...a bit much. and can hurt other people who read it. The good news is the insecurities usually only happen when im dating and i like...never...date. So as soon as i find a job i will happily go back to 'im too busy to date', and i can shove the insecurity back under the self hating rug. Its like a hornets nest - its only if you poke the nest that you get stung and i keep poking the nest lately.

Second, I apologize if i generalized too much, i am trying to be more aware of myself doing that. There's lots of examples of friends with good long relationships in my life - the friend whose wedding i'm going to has been with her husband for ten years, my other childhood bff has been with her partner for 11, and jelly bean and her husband have been married since 2015 and dating since college (lord we are old). And of the celebrity couples i kinda idolize, im pretty sure only steve ao*ki and recently rami (lol good for him) are the ones with break ups. (i have been REALLY entertained by the sheer sudden volume increase in thirst traps on steve's insta starting around the time nicole got cozy with this new guy and deleted her loving tributes to steve off her account - dont get me wrong i fully appreciate the photos and selfies, enjoying every minute of it but yeah he must be single right now LOL i would feel more bad for him if he hadnt been the one doing the dumping)(it must be hard dating with his insanely fast paced lifestyle though, i dont envy him :( ). So its absolutely a 'me' problem.

My only experiences dating over the years have taught me that i dont have much to offer that someone cant get through friendship (or friends with benefits) - entertaining and fun to hang out with but not pretty enough (or good in bed enough LOL) to be actually worthwhile. At this point its kind of a joke; "its saturday night, why are you calling me, dont you have somewhere to be?" "no, of course not, i was wondering if i could come hang out with your dog"

Thanks for trying to cheer me up? :) i'm sorry i'm an insecure mess!

[baratrongirl]

Fanfiction Trope Meme

Stolen from @pigeontheoneandonly, who I don't know at all. Saw it in their blog and went "I like these questions". Rules: copy/past and bold your fic preferences and tag someone to do the same. I don't ever explicitly tag people because I don't want anyone to feel put on the spot when they could be having a bad week/month/year. I'm interested in all my friends' answers, so answer the questions if you want to.

slow burn or love at first sight. (Good question. I tend to think that love at first sight is unrealistic, because you only know what someone looks like, not who they really are. So I suppose I prefer slow burn where the affection grows as the people get to know each other.)

fake dating or secret dating. (Ugh, I like both! Though secret dating wins with Klapollo - dating in secret because Klavier's a rock star and they don't want the tabloid hassle.)

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers. (This is how my relationships have worked in real life. We've always been friends first - at least for the relationships that have actually LASTED.)

oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance with correspondence. (Ack! I can't decide! *squishes Klapollo into one bed* vs LDR with Apollo in Khura'in and Klavier in Los Angeles/Tokyo?)

hurt/comfort or amnesia. (HURT/COMFORT. Finally, an easy one!)

fantasy au or modern au. (This one depends on the original setting. If it's a fantasy setting, a modern AU. If it's a modern setting, then a fantasy AU!)

mutual pining or domestic bliss. (Get it together, silly boys! Of course, I'm talking about Klapollo again. With some of my other ships, I prefer them to simply communicate and sort their relationship out.)

smut or fluff. (I like both BUT if we are simply talking about tropes in the absence of plot, I prefer Porn Without Plot to Fluff Without Plot. Fluff Without Plot leaves me feeling unfulfilled, like I ate candy floss when I wanted a meal. Fluff WITH Plot is fantastic, and I've written quite a few Teen-rated fics myself. Smut is definitely not essential for a good story.)

canon complaint or fix-it fic. (Fix-it!!)

alternate universe or future fic. (AUs are fascinating.)

one-shot or multi-chapter. (Depends on the story, of course. If it's high-quality, I can easily read 150k of fic in a night. What is this "bedtime" thing you speak of?)

kid fic or roadtrip fic. (I am not really a fan of either, but I LOATHE kid fic. Fan-created OC children make me break out in metaphorical hives. Though - I say that, and I would still absolutely love to read a story where Trucy (aged 25+) offers to be the surrogate for Klavier and Apollo, since she is Apollo's sister and has the most similar genetic makeup to him. I guess I'm more interested in the negotiations (will they accept it? Does Klavier even WANT children which are genetically his considering how Kristoph turned out?) than the actual part where a baby exists.)

reincarnation or character death. (NEVER character death, I hate it - and it's an actual squick to the point of being triggering with my main ship. Whereas reincarnation, finding each other again and again in different worlds over time - OMG I love.)

arranged marriage or accidental marriage. (Especially if accompanied by queer lawyers with legal shenanigans.)

high school romance or middle-aged romance. (Middle-aged fans demand middle-aged Blorbos! 35 is not "old", you teenage Narumitsu fans.)

time travel or isolated together. (Can't decide. As long as it's not a tragedy where they're separated by time, or where one is already a ghost while the other is alive, I don't much mind.)

neighbors or roommates. (No actual preference.)

sci-fi au or magic au. (Slight preference for magic, but only because SF is hard to write well.)

body swap or genderbend. (No preference, though I should perhaps observe that F/F Klapollo are barely any different to M/M Klapollo unless you're writing smut. Body swap, however, is hilarious because you have Mr Tall, Skinny, and Beautiful suddenly inhabiting the body of Mr Short, Buff, and Ordinary - and vice versa.)

angst or crack. (Angst with a happy ending. But I do love a good crack fic too!)

apocalyptic or mundane. (Mundane please. Apocalyptic fic stresses me out instead of being fun.)

[finned-fish]

The commentary is actually just “I’m aroace and sex+romace-repulsed and I would rather put a gun to my head and pull the trigger myself than ever see them so much as stand next to each other ever again, but I’m on iOS (so I can’t use browser extensions to get rid of those posts for me), and this website is un fucking navigable if you don’t want to see the popular ships in your fandom of choice. Tumblr’s base filters don’t do SHIT if every post under one tag you want to see is also tagged with another you have blocked.”

I am not kidding even a little bit when I say I have blocked over 200 different blogs over this (mostly radioapple and radiostatic). I have a list. I haven’t found one singular fucking person who is 1.) still active at all, 2.) still posts about Hazbin, 3.) isn’t actually 12 years old, and 4.) has never made/reblogged ship posts with alastor, selfship or otherwise. I’m really not a fan of any ship to be honest, I’d never see any of them if I had a choice. All of it makes me wildly uncomfortable. But if I genuinely can’t find anyone who doesn’t ship Alastor with someone else, there is no fucking shot I’m gonna find anyone who doesn’t ship any of them.

Fandom is, by definition, not made to include me, and “good representation” won’t suddenly make that untrue. But god dammit, I am so, so, so sick of being a fucking spectator all the goddamn time. I don’t feel included in larger society, I don’t feel included in LGBTQ+ conversations/events (and a lot of them are just flat out unsafe for me because of how sexual they are), I don’t feel included in niche internet communities, and I don’t even get to feel included in conversations about a character that’s supposed to be like me, with other people who are as close to me as I could possibly ever get (because most radioapple shippers are ALSO AROACE.) There isn’t a single place on this god forsaken rock that’s made to accomodate me other than spaces for actual children, and I guess I just hoped I could have one fucking guy I could still at least somewhat enjoy like everyone else if he was aroace too, at least stand in the corner with my one guy and pretend for a second that I belong here. But instead, I come out of #alastor feeling significantly worse than when I went in, and I have actually cried real tears more than once over this. There is no solution, because no amount of searching and filtering and blocking will bring into existence a community that just does not exist.

Other people get to feel seen, included, and heard with Alastor’s representation. They get to find a community of people who are like them, and show their relationships that don’t get any representation. Even if they are niche, they get to find those communities where they feel included and normal. I got to learn that that feeling of being alone in a room will never go away no matter how hard I try to be like everyone else. I will always be intruding in on a conversation I have no right being a part of, always a spectator watching everyone else get to experience what I want so fucking badly, and know in my heart of hearts simply does not exist for me. And I guess I just got my hopes up that all I needed was one character, one piece of media I could latch onto, that I’d find people through that eventually, and I’m starting to realize that that still just isn’t true. No amount of representation will make me a place in fandom, or pride, or the world as a whole, because I am that incompatible with the rest of the world. That’s what I’ve gotten out of Alastor.

So forgive me for being a little upset about it.

Okay, I understand all of this. Feeling alienated absolutely fucking sucks and is something I go through frequently. I get it. Completely. I act out because of it sometimes.

Doesn't justify antagonizing an innocent artist though. It is not their problem to fix. Get out of their inbox. @inuxi makes incredible beautiful art of characters they enjoy. It's really as simple as that. Whether an artist wants to appeal to a certain community or not is a personal choice that should be respected.

There are so many aroace artist communities. I've interacted with aroace artist communities. There are accommodative communities around. Saying you belong nowhere at all is a lie. It's easy to get overwhelmed by the majority, I've been there, but just take a step back for a moment.

I wish you the best of luck, man, I really do. Finding a community where you belong is something you ARE entitled to. Antagonizing an artist for art you don't like is NOT.

[strawberrysmootji]

Chapter 3 | Acta deos numquam mortalia fallunt

“Mortal actions never deceive the gods”

18+ fic, minors do not interact!

Chapter summary: You and Aegon are in a room together, what could possibly go wrong?

(edited)

Chapter warnings/tags: Use of the word ‘queer’ (used as strange, weird, etc (I swear i’m not homophobic, i love women pls)), ghosts, family drama, mentions of murders and death, Aemond does NOT know how to talk to women, targaryen slander (reader is such a hater lol), canon typical mentions of incest, millipedes

if any of these things are not to your liking/ are triggering i recommend not to read it! Word count: 3.9k

[A/N]: I’m so sorry this came out later than I promised. Last week was really hectic but fortunately I have less classes this week. Today I read ‘The Yellow Wall-Paper’ by Charlotte Perkins Gilman and that definitely inspired the long notebook part in this chapter. Let me know what you guys think about the notebook parts by the way, should I keep them shorter or is this fine too? This might not be the best chapter I have written but it has given me loads of inspiration for what is next in the story.

Anyway, if you have the chance, definitely read ‘The Yellow Wall-Paper because I absolutely loved it!! I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Rigor Mortis Masterlist | Main Masterlist

“What the-”

Aegon quickly shushed you again by forcing his hand over your mouth again. Ser Criston’s footsteps could be heard passing the room and slowly but surely faded away. Aegon removed his hand off your face and scowled. 

“Can you be any louder?” 

“What?”

“You’re absolutely horrible at sneaking around my lady and I mean that with great offence.” 

Gods, he was strange. 

You tried to catch your breath for a few seconds and studied him in silence. He was still in his day clothes, but he had taken off the striped light green vest he wore in the morning. You were right, he looked sickly regardless of the colours he wore. His silver blonde hair was dishevelled and the bitter stench of alcohol seemed to permanently cling to his body. 

“Do you even realise how improper it is to take hold of me like that-” Aegon started groaning in frustration mid-way through your sentence. He pulled his hand over his face as he did and waved you off with his other hand. 

“You are a real pain in the arse-” “Excuse me?! You’re the one pulling a lady into a strange, vacant room! I am already engaged to someone-” “I beg you. Please, shut your mouth.” 

Aegon walked- more like stumbled- over to a cloth covered chair and sat down, pinching the bridge of his nose as he shook his head.

“You are too curious for your own good. I am saying this out of genuine concern. Mind your business.” 

His words were harsh but he genuinely seemed to be looking out for you in his own strange, Aegon-way. His answers to your questions always seemed to spark more curiosity and confusion within you. A silence fell between the two of you until you finally realised how inappropriately you were dressed. He seemed to notice your discomfort and a playful grin tugged at the corners of his rosy lips. 

“Do not worry. I have seen women in less clothes and I do not desire you. There is no denying you are beautiful, of course. However, you are simply not the type of lady I am attracted to, besides, my dear brother would have my head if I ever tried to pursue you.”

He wasn’t wrong about that. Aemond seemed pretty protective over you, even if the two of you were still barely acquaintances. 

“Why are you helping me?”

Aegon remained quiet for a few seconds and shrugged.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Queer

You decided to drop it for now and looked around the abandoned room. You were about to ask a question again but Aegon groaned loudly in frustration. 

“I swear this damned wench.” He muttered, clearly irritated by…nothing?

“What are you-”

He shushed you.

“Listen.” He said and pointed with his finger to the ceiling. Was he talking about the floor above this? If you remember correctly, that was where Lord Viserys’ hallway was located.

A wail..

If you concentrated really hard you could hear the wailing and screaming of a woman. It was still too quiet to properly hear it but it still managed to send chills down your spine. 

No one was allowed in there and you doubted the wailing came from Lord Viserys.

It was only slightly but the wailing seemed to get a teeny, tiny bit louder every second. You turned your gaze back at Aegon who was picking dirt from under his nails with an annoyed expression. 

“Who is-”

“Father’s first wife.”

Aegon replied with a sigh and his violet eyes turned to meet yours. You seriously wished he would simply stop saying the most confusing and out of pocket sentences like it was nothing. Viserys’ first wife? Would that be Rhaenyra’s mother, late queen Aemma.

You hadn’t heard anyone talking about the Lord’s first wife still living at the estate. She died…or was that just a cover up? Did the king want to remarry? Oh gods, they didn’t lock her up, right?

“Why is she crying?” What a stupid question. You were sure you would cry even louder if Aemond locked you up.

Still, you couldn’t shake off this uncanny feeling. In no situation was this normal. For starters, the crying was barely comprehensible to your ears, but Aegon had complained that morning about her wailing so loud he couldn’t sleep. 

Aegon didn’t reply as he studied you in silence.

“What has Aemond told you about this family?”

Aegon reached into the pockets of his black trousers and pulled out an equally black tobacco pipe. He took out a small tin container from his other pocket and filled the pipe with the brown substance you could only assume was tobacco. He placed the pipe between his lips and stood up from the cloth covered chair and walked up to an old drawer. He pulled out a box of matches and started to light his pipe. He took the lit match and brought it close to the tobacco, but not close enough to completely lit it. From what you could see he only charred the top and then extinguished the match by waving it up and down. Smoke came from his pipe and mouth and he sat back down. 

“Well?”

“He’s told me about princess Rhaenyra’s quite…illegal inheritance of the factories and the uhm…inbreeding.” You awkwardly replied. Aegon groaned and shook his head in response.

“How romantic of him.” 

“Right…”

Another silence fell between the two of you. It was very clear that neither of you were skilled at socialising with someone that was practically a stranger. The woman’s wailing was getting a little louder again, snapping you out of your thoughts. Before you could even ask about the women Aegon spoke again.

“Rhaenyra’s mother died in childbirth.” 

“But I can hear her.”

Aegon silently stared at you, letting you figure out everything yourself. He was dead serious when he told you about Rhaenyra’s mother. 

Reality was finally hitting you.

No.

No.

No.

He was lying. He had to be. He must be trying to scare you away, or trying to make a fool out of you in front of the family. It had to be. It had to be. 

Perhaps he was trying to make you seem mad. Was he trying to send you away? It couldn’t be, Rhaenyra's mother was dead. It couldn’t be her that was wailing and crying. 

You were spiralling into all these different thoughts. Aegon was lying. He was. There was no other way. Ghosts, spirits, ghouls and- whatever! They didn’t exist. It was only a trick of the mind. Perhaps an evil cook is drugging them all and it is just a shared hallucination. Your brother had told you about them. How your father’s employees believed the factory was haunted by a tall shadow-y figure that lurked in the corners after sunset. It was the toxic fumes. Benjamen said so. 

“You’re lying.” 

Your voice was trembling. You didn’t know if it was from frustration or paranoia, perhaps it was from both. You turned around to leave. You couldn’t care less if Criston found out it was you who was listening in on his conversation with Alicent. 

“I am not finished yet-” Aegon took hold of your wrist, pulling you close to him. He held his pipe in his free hand as he intensely stared into your eyes.

“If you are smart, which I know you are, you leave this godforsaken place.” He hissed in frustration. 

“Write to your father, write that you want to leave. Mother is too desperate to continue the bloodline to see how incredibly stupid this arrangement is. Helaena told you to leave and now I am telling you to leave. Trust us.” 

Helaena had told you to leave….of course, the flowers.

She had been looking out for you even before you arrived at the castle. 

“I can’t just leave. What about Aemond, the dowry or the wedding.”

“Not worth it.”

Gods, this man was unbelievable. 

“I can’t just leave. It is my obligation to marry Aemond and I intend to do so. Your ghost stories are not going to scare me away.” 

You managed to wrangle your wrist from his iron grip and rubbed where he had held you. It stung a little but fortunately for you, it didn’t hurt. All you wanted to do was leave this strange room and get away from Aegon.

“Sleep well, my lord.” 

You made your way out the room and closed the door behind you. As you did so, your eyes fell onto the gold inscribed name plate on the door and then it finally hit you.

You had been in the room of Daeron Targaryen, and it seemed like he didn't live here any more. 

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

- Night, the seventh day (the church bells just rang twelve times),  first month of the year 1871 -

This day was peculiar to say the least. After the first days my hopes were high when I first arrived but I fear this family is more queer than I initially anticipated. Everyone is strangely secretive about the murders and their knowledge of the culprits, even though I am to be part of their family soon. 

Of course, I cannot ignore their history of inbreeding either. Sure, it might’ve happened about a hundred years ago but I still find that to be quite recent. If madness doesn’t bring down this family it sure will be the fighting amongst each other. An isolated father whose eldest child lives far away from her half-siblings and a second wife that claims said eldest child’s children are bastards is a recipe for disaster. 

As far as I know two out of four children of King Viserys are mad. Aegon, the eldest son, is trying to scare me away with ghost stories and has absolutely no manners. He does as he pleases, such as day-drinking and dragging proper ladies into vacant rooms. Sure, it might’ve been to save me from Ser Criston, which, by the way, is an outdated title. It should be ‘Sir Criston’, apparently inbreeding isn’t the only outdated tradition they live by. I am trailing off. Aegon dragged me into the room to save me from Ser (Sir) Criston, quite a creepy room might I add. It seems that this Daeron Targaryen doesn’t live in the Red Keep anymore judging by the white sheets carefully thrown over the furniture. 

Right, I was talking about the ‘mad ones’. Helaena, the youngest daughter, the third child, has a real screw loose. She is quiet, mumbles to herself like there is no one else in the room and says the most cryptic things I have ever heard. At breakfast she told me:

“Shadows need the light to exist but roam freely in the darkness.”

She could be reciting poetry but I just know there is a meaning to it. She said right before Otto Hightower (the sanest person in this entire family so far) announced the body of the monthly murder had been found. I theorise there might be some criminal gang that murder the civilians of King’s Landing at night…the servants also spoke of Tayla (this month’s victim and apparently a handmaiden of queen Alicent). They said she went out at night, so I believe this culprit doesn’t have a set target each month. His victim profile seems to be completely random as far as I know. 

I know I don’t speak much here about my future husband. If I ever fall victim to this murderer (or this family) I don’t want future historians to believe I was some lovesick woman. This notebook is strictly for research purposes. I suppose I can share some information, he might end up being a person of interest when I die inside this old castle or the filthy streets of the city (I should really stop speaking of my hypothetical death, I don’t want the Gods to get the wrong idea).

Aemond is a quiet and reserved man. He is smart, quite handsome and seems to be physically strong. If I had to say something I like about him it is his intellect and his long hair. Don’t get me wrong, such long hair like that is incredibly out of fashion. The handmaidens at back home would most likely scream in horror when I tell them my future husband has flowing silver hair like some mediaeval knight. 

Tomorrow I shall try to find the library and seek more information about the Targaryen family tree. If not for research purposes, then for my own entertainment. Perhaps I can even look for this mysterious ‘Daeron’.

I shall write down my findings again soon. I swear there is something queer about this family. 

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Today was surprisingly sunny for King’s Landing. You had breakfast with Alicent and she seemed not to suspect a thing. She had told you Aemond had a client over today so he wouldn’t be available until late in the afternoon. 

Wanting to enjoy the nice weather before it was over you made your way outside. It was still cold of course, but the sun felt nice. You walked past the eerie cemetery and deeper into the woods of the Keep. The path was still densely overgrown but you reached a part where the dirt path got wider. Your curiosity only grew as you followed it. Aemond hadn’t shown you anything past the cemetery after all. 

You eventually reached a clearing. In the middle stood a magnificent oak with leaves as red as blood. Of course, you knew about the heart trees of the Old Gods, your old home had one as well, but you never knew an oak tree could serve as a heart tree as well. Judging by the shape of the leaves and the crooked thick branches of the tree you were certain it had to be in the same family as a live oak tree. It made you happy that even in the Red Keep they kept the old traditions of the first men alive. 

Someone sat on a swing that was attached to one of the thickest branches of the tree. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who it was. You only knew one woman that wore light coloured dresses and had beautiful long silver hair. She hadn’t bothered to style it this morning, which you found to be a bit improper but then you remembered she was quite strange anyway. 

“You are here sooner than I expected.” Helaena’s voice was incredibly pleasant to listen to, or so you thought. It was sweet and delicate, almost as if she was careful not to make too much noise as she spoke. 

“You were expecting me?” 

Helaena hummed in response and you cautiously approached her. You leaned against the thick trunk of the tree and Helaena hopped off the swing, only to sit back on it but this time she was facing you. You remembered something your mother used to say.

“It is often said that no man can tell a lie in front of a heart tree, as the old gods know when men are lying.”

Perhaps this was your time to finally get some answers. 

“Aemond likes you, you know?” Helaena softly swung back and forth on the old wooden swing. Her words surprised you. He hadn’t really shown he did. Well he took you on a walk and dropped a major piece of information with no prior warning, not something you would call charming, elegant, or gentlemanly. 

Helaena continued.

“He said he is relieved he is getting to marry an intelligent woman.”

Her smile seemed so sweet and genuine, it was very different from what you were used to. Perhaps the strange woman was finally warming up to you now that her brother had told he ‘likes’ you and thinks you’re smart? 

That was definitely not what you had thought Aemond would think of you. As smart. Sure, you were confident to admit that you possessed some sort of intellect. But for a man who studied at Old Town university it was certainly peculiar to call, no- even tell other people that his future wife was smart. 

“I am delighted to hear that.” 

Helaena was, surprisingly, easier to talk to compared to Aegon, who was supposed to be the more sociable of the two. However, Helaena’s gaze wasn’t fixed on you but something behind you. Was she simply avoiding eye contact because she disliked something, or did she really see something? The eerie feeling you felt yesterday crawled back up. Your entire body switched from relaxed to anxious, almost as if all of your senses were a hundred times more sensitive. Was something really watching you? Perhaps it was only a castle worker. Someone had to keep these woods and gardens looking good, right? Even in the winter. 

You knew you had to look. Your brain was tricking you again. This palace is guarded. No one would be able to simply slip in and spy on you whenever you entered the godswoods. 

Then you felt something. Something ticklish and long moved from your shoulder towards your hand. Paralyzed by fear you could only move your eyes to where the feeling was. In reaction you shrieked. You don’t think you have ever been so loud before. 

You swatted your hand around, desperate to get this beast off your body. Once you had finally flung it off Helaena calmly walked over and picked it up from where it had fallen. Letting it crawl over her hands and watching it in fascination.

“Diplopoda…a millipede.” She whispered softly and slowly walked back to the swing. You watched in amazement. She wasn’t afraid of the insect, in fact, Helaena seemed completely mesmerised by the creature. The hundreds of little legs all moved as it crawled over her soft delicate pale hands. Her fingers were long and thin, like a master pianist. 

“You’re not- afraid of the insect?” You asked her after you had regained your breath and most importantly, your composure. There weren’t as many bugs in the North compared to here. The climate here was a lot warmer, even in the winter. You felt a little silly for being so frightened by such a small creature.”

“Millipedes are actually myriapods…” She replied as she seemed completely lost in thought as she studied the insect- no. She studied the myriapod.

“They have eyes…but they cannot see very well. To answer your question, this species is completely harmless to humans.”

Well, at least you learned something new today.

“Would you like to hold it as well?” 

No. Absolutely not.

“I suppose I could try.”

You walked to where Helaena sat on the swing. The wood creaked a little as it still slowly moved back and forth. You held out your hands, bracing yourself for the nasty, itchy, crawling feeling of the largest millipede you had ever seen. Helaena’s face had lit up once you agreed to hold it, she seemed so excited to share her interests with you. It made you wonder if she could even share it with her own family.

Perhaps they understood her just as little as you did.

Helaena had carefully placed Millipede the Myriapod in your hands. You felt squeamish as you felt the hundreds of little legs move around in the palm of your hands. You had to move your hands around a lot too. The creature was quick and you didn’t want it to fall off, not because you cared about the thing, but because you didn’t want to upset Helaena. 

Something about her enthusiasm reminded you of your father. Who loved telling you ghost stories and myths. You didn’t believe any story he had told you, but seeing his face lit up as he was talking about the things he loved made you smile. Helaena’s excited expression made you smile as well. You realised you had judged her too soon. Sure she had some…issues, but she was kind and was eager to befriend you. 

“I think it doesn’t like me.” The creature was quick and constantly tried to slip away from the palms of your hand. The strange squeamish feeling felt less overwhelming with time. Sure, the thing was absolutely horrifying, but the feeling that you might die if you touched it had completely faded.

“Come, I’ll help.” Helaena’s sweet smile instantly melted your heart. She took the insect- no, myriapod from your hands and you instinctively wiped your hands off on the skirt of your dress. She started to walk towards the path that led back to the castle. You were so distracted by the millipede and Helaena herself that you had completely forgotten to ask her the questions you wished to ask her.

“Princess Helaena-”

“I wish to show it to my grandfather.” Helaena was completely in her own world while she walked.

“Okay, well, may I ask you a few questions then?” “Perhaps later.” Well, at least she didn’t beat around the bush. Her bluntness hadn’t surprised you. Alicent had tried to make a proper lady if her daughter, there was no denying that. Helaena simply had a mind of her own. She wore her hair loose whenever she pleased, she did not care about the proper ways you should wear colours. There was something admirable about her, even if she was a little mad.

The gloomy castle came back into view when the two of you exited the godswood. Immediately you felt a shift in the air. The clouds blocked the sun and the feeling of gloom and dread returned. It seemed to linger around the castle constantly and was not something you had gotten used to yet. 

“Aemond would want to see you by the way”

You raised your eyebrow as you turned your head to her.

“How do you know that?” She shrugged and continued to walk. She turned the corner and you followed her blindly, accidentally colliding with a hard human chest. You nearly fell backwards but you felt a strong, lean arm stabilise you.

“Gods, I am so sorry-” 

You finally looked up to see who you had bumped into, it was Aemond. You were about to call after Helaena who happily continued to walk towards her grandfather’s study as if you had never been there to begin with when you noticed something different. For starters, Aemond wore a glass eye. It wasn’t the completely white eye he had worn when he first met you. Instead his glass eye looked nearly identical to his healthy one. 

However he had made one major change.

“Your hair…” Was all you managed to stammer out.

Aemond’s long silver hair you had grown to adore had been completely copped off. Instead it was cropped on the sides and back while it gradually got longer on the top of his head. He looked good. Different, but good.

Your face must’ve given off a different reaction because Aemond almost nervously ran his hand through his hair.

“You don’t like it-”

“I do like it.”

An awkward silence fell between the two of you. Neither of you really knew what to say. 

“Not that your old hair was bad- I just…I like this as well.” You doubted your awkward stumbling over your own words did much to reassure him but he seemed to somewhat regain his usual composure. He sternly nodded and started speaking again.

“I need you to be my assistant this afternoon.” 

Huh?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Taglist: @helaenaluvr @saltedcaramelpretzel @certifiedhaters @imawhorecrux

[hoghtastic]

"You see Johanne’s posts as just “sharing her life”. Well that’s fine. Others don’t. It’s really not that big of a deal. ------You said that some fans are “reading too much” into Johanne’s posts. Ok, that’s possible. But have you considered the possibility that some of Johanne’s posts are actually calculated/deliberate. And I disagree anon, I think Johanne is definitely trying to “grow her own fan base”.----- I think she is enjoying the “benefits”/“perks” of being Alex’s girlfriend. Such as her follower count has increased (and still increasing little by little), the number of likes on her posts has increased, new “friendships” etc……Overall she is getting more exposure. "

First, I think you're one who has responded to several people here, but why do all of your responses seem so triggered? As if the first asks are directly addressing you, anon? If it's "not that big of a deal," then why do you continue to respond as if it is?

Secondly, I think ANY girl Alex would date, who is also in the industry, would be reaping "the benefits and perks" of being Alex's girlfriend and would automatically "gain more exposure." BUT I also think he would want them to. I think he'd only be used if he didn't want to share in his success, but we've seen how, even with his friends, he has promoted them and whatever they've had going on because he knows his influence has a positive impact on what they're doing. He would naturally want the same for his own girlfriend, too. So why does it matter if she grows her fan base or if her follower numbers go up? I don't think he'd care and actually think he'd be happy to know he could help her with that if it's something she wants.

The question here is what her intentions are, and we just simply don't know. We can guess or speculate what we think or what it looks like, but we honestly just do not know. I can say, myself, that yes, a lot of her moves have appeared to have been "calculated and deliberate," but we can not say, for sure, what the reason is and it doesn't automatically mean that her feelings for him aren't genuine. I'm not saying you have questioned if her feelings for him are real or not, but many have. And seriously, we just simply don't know.

So many opinions have been stated like facts, and I recognize that even what I think may be completely wrong. And I certainly am not trying to change anyone else's opinion. I'm just saying that there has to be more than meets the eye. We aren't seeing the full picture, but just a one-sided glimpse. I just don't believe a man who is so smart that he can remember seriously hard lines for a role in a language he's never acted in before and then also do it quite well and convincingly is so blind and dumb that someone could completely use and manipulate him and he'd have absolutely no clue whatsoever. A "self-taught" actor and photographer is not an idiot and I just don't think he's that gullible. And for his sake, let's hope I'm right!

Anon to anon. 😊

But if I may also add my two cents, I'd like to say that I agree with you for the most part. I agree that Alex, being with a person he loves, would love her to do well and be successful, just like all of us want the best for the people we love. However, she (and her friends!) seem to rely on this too much, catering specifically to his fanbase by always tagging him whenever possible. One thing would be him using his platform to promote them, like he does for other friends of his, and a completely different thing is them using him to promote themselves (like they've been doing for the most part). And while I also agree that we don't see the full picture, only small glimpses into their lives that they decide to share on social media, the truth is that what they've been sharing gives this impression... it may or may not be true, but it's all we've got to base our opinions on.

Plus, just a little reminder that being very talented and intelligent doesn't automatically make a person a good judge of character. The same way the most gifted kids at school will often times feel unprepared to deal with "real life" and its challenges, and being really good at memorizing or at acquiring an amount of skills doesn't make one less gullible or naive when dealing with other people, especially when their intentions aren't as genuine as they make it seem.

[icarusredwings]

Responding to tags.

Mood swings is not the correct term for this seeing as the chemicals in our brain are quite physically being altered.

I often relate it to being given a list and being told that you MUST get it done OR ELSE and you do NOT want to know what or else is- except you can't finish the list because of matters out of your control so you become stressed out and almost feel betrayed.

Its hard to explain but I dont think mood swings would be the correct termology seeing as A. Its not caused by our doing, mood swings are ussually caused by the person being "triggered" by something that makes them upset personally when regularly it wouldn't upset someone.

For example I think about being hangry and getting upset over something that is simple because of that and then immediately becoming happier because the body is fed, making the hormones and chemicals in your brain happy right? This is something that can be changed quickly you know? Or that is unpredictable.

But Rejection sensitivity is ussually caused by other peoples action and we know its ussually irrational. Its our brains being dysregulated because the plan/ routine was disrupted, like when an autistic person cant find their shoe and now are running late, messing up their entire schedule.

I can only explain it as an intense feeling of disappointment, sometimes if caused by someone close to you it will feel personal despite the fact you can mentally think "thats silly to be upset about" but you just... cant stop.

Sometimes it can last hours and makes you feel very isolated and alone, it makes you sometimes have panic attacks too.

The absolute worst thing you could do is make fun of us for it because we KNOW it's stupid but we cant stop being upset. We are upset at ourselves for being upset, so mocking us would make it worse and feel more alone.

Logan does a good job as an example here, figuring out what the main problem is, giving him a bit of space, but not letting him feel alone.

A mood swing (to me) would be if you wanted a cookie but someone ate the last one, getting upset, only to realize there is more, now feeling better because the issue is solved.

With rejection sensitivity, it's like going to the same cookie shop every week to get the same cookie and talk to the same people. A routine. Well you had to stay late for work and now the cookie place is closed. You can still get a different cookie, hell, you can get a cookie that's almost identical, the problem is still not solved. Providing a replacement item sometimes helps but ussually its the routine being disrupted that causes the "break down" not the absence of the cookie.

OR another example is like your partner/parent saying that pizza is for dinner and then you come home to tacos. You still like tacos but your brain is now disrupted because you already mentally prepared for and looked forward to pizza. This makes me very sensitive. Don't tell me you're making pasta at 8 am and then I come home at 8 pm to tacos UNLESS you call me a few hours in advance so I can register it with my mind. God that sounds so pathetic. "Yeah I cry if I get tacos instead of pizza except it actually has nothing to do with the food at all and its the idea of the routine/ list being ruined"

Does that make sense??

I hope this dosn't sound like im scolding anyone or offensive either, but they are definitely different to me.

Thinking about Wade's Adhd and rejection sensitivity. Getting upset about inconveniences he can't control even when not mentally small, just becoming irationally overly upset over things that don't really affect much.

How he's been talking about a certain sandwitch all day long. Since noon, throughout the entire mission, and now he's yapping about it again on the 6 block walk to said sandwitch joint ran by a small immigrant family.

He keeps talking about how great it is. Logan didn't have this place in his timeline, so Wade is ampled excited to show him. Logan jokes with him how he sounds more excited to eat this sub then he is to suck dick.

Wade, with the most serious face, goes, "I can get dick anytime. They're only open 4 days a week and only from 1 to 5."

Logan notes this in the back of his mind for the future.

Just as they get there, Wade is telling Logan that they used to be open 10-5 but their daughter went to college, so now they are on their own. How these people have been so kind to him and told him that they started this shop for their daughter specifically. To give her a good life, they've been working hard to send her to college since day one.

As they roll up to the door, Wade's face drops. All of the glee and joy from his body evaporates and immediately he's just staring at the sign.

"Sorry, we're closed. Come back -" and then a small plastic clock that shown when they opened again tomorrow at 1 pm.

They're too late.

"Oh... well, that sucks." Logan mutters, hands in his pockets as he watches Wade look so utterly disappointed that even he begins to feel bad for him.

He puts a hand on his shoulder. "We can always come again tomorrow."

"B-but I...i wanted.." He starts to tear up, quickly moving to wipe his eyes, sniffling and shaking his head. "It's fine... okay.. tomarrow." He whispers, not only feeling pathetic for being so upset over a sandwitch store being closed, but now they had to walk all the way back home.

"...are you okay?"

"Yeah.. it's fine.." But it's clearly not fine. He fully understands that they were late, and thats why they were closed. He's not angry at them. He's not angry at logan either. Not even himself, really. He must have miscalculated the time. A pure mistake.

But on the way home, it's very obvious that this is a big deal. He's quiet. Staring at the ground as he walks, biting his nails, wiping a tear once inawhile.

It makes Logan frown, uncomfortable with the silence, knowing his mind was no where near silent at the moment. He knew it was turmoil in there, a loud and pouting mess.

"....do you want to get something else?"

"...no..." He whispers.

Logan observes his body language, watching how his eyes kept flickering and filling with a tear every now and again. How distant he becomes and almost... hugs himself... at one point. He knows that this is a much different response from when small him throws a tantrum or sulks. He looks as if he genuienly didn't want to be upset but just... is. As if he couldn't stop his overwhelming emotions from flooding his mind.

He takes his hand. "...is it because you wanted to show me?"

"No.. I mean.. kinda? But I just... I really wanted it."

"We can get it tomarrow?"

"I know. I can't... its hard to explain."

Logan gives his hand a squeeze, talking quietly.

"... is it a safe food?"

Wade nods, wiping another tear on his sleeve. It was one of the few things he could eat without puking. But that still wasn't why he was upset.

"Do you want me to make you a sub?"

He shakes his head. "It won't be the same."

"Im sure I can make it the sa-"

"No.. I mean... yes?? Im sorry, Peanut. It's... It's an experience thing.. I've had it in my head all day to go and get a sub from them. And now I can't check it off until tomorrow."

Oooh.. that makes sense. He had a checklist in his head. Something he needed to finish before he could go to bed. And now that this wasn't finished? He would have a hard time moving forward.

When they arrive home, Wade goes to hide in the corner of their bedroom, quiet and trying to think of something else he could do to distract his mean brain from yelling at him.

'What are you doing? You were supposed to go to the shop! Stop being lazy and just go! Come on! We've been waiting all day for this! ... Logan said he would eat a sub with us...But we were so good today...' They said.

"I know.." he muttered, putting on his headphones, hoping to drown them out.

It doesn't work. Now hes just laying in bed, rotting and staring at the ceiling while tears travel down the sides of his face. He's breathing a bit shakily.

'Why are we crying? Its just a sandwitch. It has nothing to do with the sandwich dipshit!! Are we bad..? Did we misbehave? Is that why Logan dosn't want to eat with us? Hey! Hello?? Were kind of starving here. Haven't even had anything today since breakfast. Im not hungry anymore. You're really pathetic you know that? Almost 50 years old crying over a fucking sandwitch.'

They were so loud that even with the volume up so high, he didn't hear Logan come in.

"Wade?" He waves a hand in front of him, watching as he jumps, looking up with such puffy red eyes.

"W-what?"

He puts down a plate. It's a sub.

Looking at it, he glances between him and the food multiple times, watching as Logan takes it, taking a bite and sitting next to him.

He doesn't say a word.

Now, Wade is crying for a different reason, his eyes softening as he smiles, gently leaning into him. "... Can I have a bite?"

"Of my dick or my sub?" He asks, glancing to him with a teasing look painted on his raised brow.

Wade giggles, nuzzling into his shoulder as he takes a big breath, sighing. Glancing at the door, he mutters. "Do you see this shit? And you all call me the nasty one."

Logan only smirks, a bit too proudly. "Says the guy who once-"

"Woah woah woah peanut! That's enough. This episode is rated pg. Sorry about that. God, such a potty mouth." He snickers, sitting up as Logan lets him take a bite from the end of the sub, Lady and the Tramp style.

[ghdjhdfhgkdmoved]

hmmmm

[9tzuyu]

who you are

note: mostly made this for my own comfort, but i do hope it helps and/or comforts any fellow lesbians :]. i normally wouldn’t specify sexualities on any characters because obviously everyones going to feel differently about different characters, but like i said this started off for my own comfort bcs i was hashtag goin through it.

prompt: basically just reader struggling to accept themselves as a lesbian. sorry non lesbians :(

warnings: heavy heavy heavy on internalized lesbophobia. talks about comphet (trying to force oneself to like men) and wanting to be ‘normal’

thank u ally for proofreading <3

not tagging anyone just because i don’t want to trigger :[

. . .

you were wrestling with something, natasha could tell that much. your eyebrows were drawn together, eyes lost in a gaze. it wasn’t until the third time tony called your name when you snapped out of it.

“sorry,” you mumbled.

“well are you going to answer the question?”

natasha noted the tapping of your foot, knuckles cracking beneath the table. it was obvious you weren’t in the right state of mind to be answering any kind of question. foolishly, no one else picked up on that except for the redhead.

“what was the question?”

tony sighed, his patience growing thinner by the second.

“i asked if your report was done. it was supposed to be handed in three days ago, remember?”

your foot tapped faster.

“yeah- yeah, i’m almost finished.”

it wasn’t like you to be so late on things like this, you were usually on top of everything.

“you told me you would have it ready by today. this is the fourth time this month that you’ve done this. you’re dragging your ass and the rest of us are getting pretty tired of it.” a collective agreement could be heard from the team. all eyes were on you waiting for a reply.

if you hadn’t felt anxious before, you most definitely did now.

“it won’t happen again.” tony blew off your statement and rolled his eyes. you shifted uncomfortably, nauseous from all the negative attention.

you couldn’t help but wonder if they knew. maybe that’s why they were being so short. it made sense after all.

natasha tried making her way towards you, but she was stopped by steve’s hand on her shoulder. you were well past gone by the time she managed to scramble away from him.

your back pressed flatly against the wall, tears steadily falling down your face. hatred was all you felt. hatred towards yourself. 

why couldn’t you be like the rest of them? why didn’t you belong? 

whywhywhywhywhywhy

granted, you knew there was absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. that was never the issue. the issue was the fact that it was yourself, that there was no possibility for you to ever be attracted to men. 

you were sure it would be a phase, that it would pass, that you would forget about it and never think about it again. you tried to go on dates, tried to form a relationship, tried to enjoy having sex with them. none of it worked, no matter how much you forced yourself to believe it would. 

all you could think about was how sick and disgusting you felt. and the shit representation didn’t help your case at all. the media hardly ever portrayed a good, well-rounded lesbian character that wasn’t problematic, over-sexualized or dead. 

the media only reiterated the fact that you were supposed to want men. you were supposed to find the right guy and fall in love with him, call him your husband and start a family. 

a knock on your door pulled you away from your thoughts. you shuffled your way back to your feet, drying your eyes for good measurement. 

natasha stood patiently, eyes drilled on your doorknob. if it were up to her she’d be picking your lock, but she knew that would be crossing a boundary. she went to knock again when your door swung open. 

“hi nat.”

“hey,” her voice was soft. “you’ve been crying...” she pressed her hand against your face, thumb rubbing the top of your cheekbone. 

you shrugged. it wasn’t like you could deny her, your red eyes had already given away the truth. “yeah.” 

she hummed, “may i come in?”

you hesitantly moved out of the way to let her through, cursing at yourself for finding her so attractive. 

“you know you can talk to me, you always do. why haven’t you said anything?” natasha moved to sit on the edge of your bed. “you’ve grown quiet these past few days, it’s not like you.”

“i’m just tired, worn out from work i suppose.”

she nodded, though she knew better than to believe such a lie. natasha could always tell when you were lying, something you both hated and loved at the same time. 

you sat next to her after a friendly tap on the bed. her gaze made you feel like a little kid in trouble. it was as if she already knew and was prepared to say the worse.

“i don’t believe you.” 

“well, i don’t know what you want me to tell you, nat.”

“how about the truth?” you scoffed purely out of defense. “and what good would that do?” 

“it might relieve whatever you’ve got on your heart.” you met natasha’s eyes and your lip immediately began to quiver.

“i’m afraid you won’t be able to look at me the same.” 

she softened, taking your hand in hers. “there’s nothing in the world that would change the way i see you.”

“you say that now, nat, but-”

“i wouldn’t say it if i didn’t mean it.” 

you thought about it further. natasha had never been one to judge someone based on the things they’ve been through, the things they’ve done or the things that make them who they are. she saw people the way they were, nothing more, nothing less. 

but what if she didn’t like you or see you the way you were? you weren’t sure you could handle the aftermath if that were to be the case. it was bad enough you struggled to accept yourself, natasha’s disapproval would only break you. 

“i’m a lesbian.” a lump in your throat began to form and you found yourself crying once more. “i tried so hard, i tried everything i could think of, but i can’t, i don’t like men.”

you coughed, choking on your words. 

“i don’t understand, nat! i don’t understand why i can’t be normal. why can’t i do it? if i just liked men i would be okay, i would be fine, i would be fucking accepted.” you paused for a breath of air. “i just want to be normal.” 

natasha was taken back by your confession. it was nothing near what she thought it would be. she expected you to tell her you’d been stressed or that you were scared for the next mission. 

“i’m sorry, i-”

the spy quickly cupped your face, tilting your chin upwards as a hint to meet her eyes again.

“look at me, c’mon, hey. you have nothing to be sorry for, don’t ever think that you do. i love you for who you are. there’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian. you’re normal, you’re who you are, who you’re supposed to be. you are real. i promise you are.” 

without thinking you leaned into natasha, clinging on to her for dear life. her arms found their way around your body, hands rubbing your back up and down. 

“you should be proud to be who you are, not ashamed. and if you’re not proud of yourself then please know that i am. i am so, so, incredibly proud of you, sweetheart.” she finger brushed your hair as you continued to cry. “shhh, you’re alright baby. i’m sorry you’ve been dealing with this alone.”

“it’s okay nat.” she gave your body a small squeeze, frowning at your response. “you shouldn’t have to feel like you need to force yourself to be someone or something you’re not. you don’t deserve to struggle so much for your own acceptance as a lesbian.” 

you nodded, though she could tell you weren’t fully convinced. “the only opinions you should care about are your own and the people you love and cherish. i know that’s easier said than done, but it’s true. besides, what you told me just gives me something more to love about you.” natasha finished off with a delicate kiss to your forehead. 

“this means a lot to me, nat. thank you, for everything really.” 

“oh sweetheart i should be thanking you for trusting me with such an important part of you are.” you shied away, a growing smile forming on your face as you leaned into her shoulder.

natahsa smirked, clearly aware of the effect she had on you. “who knew you could be so cute?” 

“nattttt.” 

she rose her hands up in surrender, “alright, alright. i’ll stop on one condition.” 

“what’s that?” you mumbled. 

“would you let me take you out for dinner tonight? i’ll show you just how beautiful it is to be with a woman.” 

“yeah, yes- yes please, that’s fine.” natasha could’ve sworn she heard your heartbeat quicken and she had to refrain from letting out a small laugh at your flustered state. 

“we need to clear that little mind of yours. i’ll be back here at seven on the dot, okay?” a pat on the leg caught your senses as you watched her stand. the last thing natasha heard was the soft “okay” fall from your lips as she walked out the door.

you’d never been happier to be a lesbian in your life by the end of the night. 

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖

Chapter 48 - Sex should be fun and enjoyable and freeing, not another place in life with 10.000 rules and regulations.

Episode 4.

Raven: I don't think you should be all that worried about Adrian judging you sexually, he's a fairly sexually open person himself. You forget that he is with your dad, and never judged him based on it. He even participate in a lot of it. And I know him and Felix broke apart, but that was more from a perspective of respect not being served. He had absolutely no problem with you and I, even told me several times to go for it. He did have a problem with the trance, but that wasn't based on him judging what he was seeing, but rather him feeling your boundaries wasn't being respected and the trance had gone too far for your comfort. He's very protective of you, Sam.

Sam: He sighed somewhat smitten

Raven: and about Evan… well… he lifted an eyebrow just trust me when I tell you he's not always soft and cuddly on the sheets. he chuckled softly and once again let me point out he has had sex with several family members, so please don't think he would think any less of you. Whether he'd be into it or not.

Sam: He shook his head lightly I don't ever want him to know, I'm too ashamed… I think it's a line I definitely can't cross in real life, it just feels… wrong… and not just from a society point of view… I don't know… he shook his head again It's very confusing! I just hope my pregnancy will be short and it will all be over soon so I can go back to my normal sex-drive again, which wasn't vanilla btw

Raven: He chuckled soft you are aware supernatural pregnancies are rather blurry and can take anywhere from a couple month till years, depending on the circumstances, and there's absolutely no guarantee your sex drive will return to the previous one… The last part is definitely a given on 'normal' pregnancies as well.

Sam: …. aren't you supposed to encourage me? He looked at Raven with a forced smile

Raven: Yes, and I am… with the whole sex thing he chuckled soft but I also gotta be realistic and not serve you false expectations. Cause I know you well enough, to know that you wouldn't want me to.

Sam: He nodded lightly

Raven: Sam, I'm not saying you should jump into bed with your parents, all I'm saying is, give yourself a break. Fantasies are healthy, and it's up to you to decide which ones might be okay to try out, and which ones are simply too uncomfortable for you. But try to cut yourself a little slack, like you did with me last night. Specially right now when everything else is pretty tense and chaotic. Allow yourself a bit of freedom here and there.

Sam: He nodded soft …….

Raven: You look like someone who wants to ask a question but don't know if they are ready yet?

Sam: He chuckled nervously Definitely not ready yet.

Raven: He nodded soft Then how about I at least take care of those bruises and we can go have a look at dinner. Your stomach has been on/off growling since I came in here, and it's frankly making me hungry by now.

Sam: He nodded soft could we uhm… he chuckled nervous again could we uhm…

Raven: He nodded gently and smiled soft Tell me how you want it.

Sam: I uh he chuckled even more nervous, clearly getting overwhelmed and very uncomfortable

Raven: it's okay he spoke soft and stroke Sam's cheek to calm him

Sam: He sighed soft from pleasure and leaned his head deeper into Raven's hand, rubbing his cheek gently against it, his lips slowly parting, his legs automatically spreading slightly

Raven: Stand up, please…

Sam: He stood up slowly, facing Raven

Raven: He gently grabbed Sam by the hips and dragged him a little closer spread your legs more for me…

❌Short sex scene START - readers must be 18+❌ ❌ (To skip sex scene, scroll till next marking) ❌

Sam: He sighed soft by Raven's soft command and noticed how it only made him harder, his dick twitching a little as he did as Raven had told him

Raven: Mmh he smirked lightly and without warning pushed two fingers inside Sam

Sam: He moaned surprised and grabbed onto Raven's shoulders to prevent himself from slipping, nodding in slow motion, his lips still parted, drops of water dripping from them, mixing with saliva starting to slowly run out his mouth

Raven: He smirked and looked at Sam with intense eyes and sent a jolt of healing powers through Sam

Sam: He moaned loud and short, his knees momentarily buckling and his head arching backwards, spreading his legs slightly wider

Raven: He started finger fucking Sam, rough and controlling, though he sat lower than Sam, looking up at him, he wanted Sam to know he was in charge, so he quickly jolted him with another round of healing powers, grinning wide as it made Sam's whole body jerk

Sam: Fuck!!! he moaned hoarse and dug his fingers into Raven's shoulders, trying desperately to stay on his feet, gazing back at Raven with intense eyes, demanding Raven to keep going!

Raven: He nodded slow and smirked, jolting him with one last round of healing powers and grabbed Sam's dick, stroking it firmly

Sam: A long roar of intense pleasure flew from him, and he came hard, shivering through his whole body

Raven: He caught Sam's cum in his hand and stood up, quickly slipping his fingers out of Sam Turn around.

Sam: He blushed lightly, but did as Raven commanded, clearly liking the rougher tone

Raven: Hold onto the pipes he continued and quickly rubbed Sam's cum on his own dick, to use it as lube, then licked his palm, grinning at the taste of Sam's cum Mmh… he walked closer up behind Sam, grabbed his butt cheeks and spread them apart, pushing his dick against Sam's hole Can you handle it?

Sam: Yeahhh he sighed out in a steamy whisper and spread his legs

Raven: He grinned satisfied then hold….. on! he quickly, no mercy, hammered his dick inside Sam and started fucking him hard and fast

Sam: He yelped from both pleasure and surprise, a stingy sensation taking hold of him for a few seconds, then the mix of cum and water made everything more slippery and the sensation far more pleasurable Y-y-yes!! he stuttered from Raven's pounding and arched his back, welcoming the big dick, granting better access

Raven: He moaned satisfied by Sam's reaction and grabbed his hips, pulling him strongly against himself each time he thrust forwards, to create a harder impact

Sam: He was nothing more than a shivering mess of long cries and loud roars by now, his legs starting to shake so much, Raven was getting worried he might crash any second, cum splattering out on the wet bathroom wall as he once again came. Then a long ear piercing howl escaped him

Raven: He quickly pulled out, worried he had hurt Sam

Sam: Made a sound that sounded mostly like a walrus roar, and suddenly clear liquid squirted out of him, his legs instantly collapsing, luckily landing in Raven's arms

Raven: He looked very surprised at the shaky Sam Are you alright?

Sam: he nodded soft and started shivering even further

Raven: Hey… sit down on the bench a moment, I want to check something.

Sam: He nodded soft and somewhat disoriented as Raven helped him sit back down on the bench Is something wrong?

Raven: No, not at all he quickly stroke a hand over Sam's wet hair Just relax… it should only take a couple seconds

Sam: He nodded soft and took a deep shaky breath

Raven: He pushed Sam backwards on the bench, so he was half sitting, half laying, then got on his knees, lifting Sam's butt slightly so Sam could better look, and pushed himself back inside Sam, instantly returning to slamming in and out of Sam at great speed

Sam: He roared loud and long, turning fire truck red in his face, looking down at Raven's dick hammering in and out of him and then squealed like a pig

Raven: He quickly pulled out again and grinned satisfied as Sam now squirted an even larger amount of liquid out of himself

Sam: He grabbed onto Raven tight, gasping for air what was that?! Is something wrong with me?!? is it the babies?!?

Raven: No, relax, you're perfectly fine. You just squirted… it's just bodily fluids, just like saliva and cum, nothing is wrong or broken or anything like that. Men doesn't usually do it, that doesn't mean they can't get trained to be able to. But for very few it comes more natural. Like your dad… Andy… he smirked Andy knows how to completely relax and let himself go through sex, he doesn't always choose to do so, but when he does, he's capable of both squirting and simply passing out from pleasure, cause he reaches max pleasure, and for a moment his brain and body simply shuts down cause it's so good it needs to unplug for a moment.

Sam: still panting, getting incredibly worked up, by the most intense sexual pleasure he had ever felt before, Raven standing naked in front of him on his knees, and hearing about Andy, now letting his mind run free with images of Andy squirting and passing out. He grabbed forwards, digging his fingers into whatever part of Raven he could grab onto and spoke in a hoarse demanding voice Do it again!

Raven: He grinned wide and thrust his dick back inside Sam, fucking him fiercely

Sam: OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Raven: His face turning more intense, the small bench creaking for mercy

Sam: He reached down, pulling his dick a bit to the side to better be able to see, and sent out a long string of gibberish words, before another howl escaped him

Raven: Quickly pulling out, leaving Sam open wide

Sam: Squirting with a movement that mostly made him look like a fish on land

Raven: He quickly jammed his dick back inside Sam, fucking him roughly just a couple times and pulled out again

Sam: OHMYGAWD!! he gasped and watched as he squirted again, his eyes rolling back in his head, his body jerking and shivering

Raven: He this time stuck 4 fingers inside Sam, and wiggled them fiercely in multiple directions

Sam: Completely forgetting to breathe at this point

Raven: Still finger wiggling

Sam: long loud roar that sounded mostly like someone was getting slaughtered

Raven: Pulling his fingers out, just in time to see another fountain from Sam

Sam: Gasping violently for air, his whole body jerking in pleasure filled spasms, needing nothing than to get finished

Raven: He quickly pushed his dick back inside Sam, fucking him fiercely, grabbing his dick, jerking it firmly, feeling ready to cum himself Let it all out, Sam, it's beautiful

Sam: Panting hard for air, chuckling both embarrassed and fulfilled, a soft moan escaping him as he looked at his own dick in Raven's hand, looking at his own hole, by now pink and swollen Damn!!! The sight only turned him on even further, and it didn't take many seconds before he watched cum squirt out of his dick, followed by a massive wave of pleasure, ending up in probably the loudest sound ever escaping him, so loud that his voice broke

Raven: He pulled out, just in time to cum all over Sam's lower body, and see Sam simply at this point leaking clear water out of his blushing and pulsating hole. He bit his bottom lip and quickly bent down, fluttering his tongue over Sam's swollen skin, loving the feeling and taste

Sam: Now laughing almost manic from the overwhelming pleasure stop stop!!! more laughing I can't take any more! Stop!

Raven: He chuckled softly and stood up, Helping Sam up as well, then very slowly lead them under the water to get washed off a bit Can you stand? he asked in a soft caring voice, supporting Sam with a hand on his lower back

Sam: He nodded shyly What the hell did you just do to me? he chuckled somewhat embarrassed

Raven: Showed you what sex can be if you give in

Sam: He chuckled and shook his head, then leaned his forehead against Raven's shoulder, taking a deep breath to calm himself Thank you.

[velvetvexations]

Mmm. Okay, in your tags you mention some other things and I wanna be clear I'm absolutely not talking about anything else other than just the boutique scene, I really truly am not defending anything else and I haven't read any other part of the book. But like, I looked it up because I'm kinna fucked and often compelled to read things that'd make me furious, but I honestly don't think this scene in particular was that bad?

It starts like this:

Alarmed comprehension dawned on the mother’s face as she took in the store. But by then it was too late. Patrick, Amy, and Jen had all seen her come in. Turning in horror would let everyone know what she thought of them. No, she would show her daughter how to play it cool. Amy’s joy in having found a feminine space meant especially for her dimmed, as the light fades when a heavy cloud crosses the sun, then winked out completely. The sense of safety that she had spun over the store vanished. Everything on the racks shrugged off their previous disguises to reveal themselves as tawdry and desperate. Inwardly, she disavowed the space. This store did not reflect her. She did not truly belong there.

She's reacting pretty specifically here to the mother's "oh no this isn't a Normal Women's Store". What what follows is a painfully cringe situation where the mother tries really hard to put up a façade of not being surprised or weirded out while the daughter is disquieted.

Her gaze raked the walls, hung thickly with gaffs, breastplates, wigs. Amy saw the store through her eyes: a Silence of the Lambs–level display of disembodied female body parts. Worst of all, the red-faced men, one now hiding, the other creepily fingering panties and who knew what else. The specialty panties—with wider gusset for women of all anatomies!—that Amy held in her hand and had been examining with curiosity when the bell above the door announced the women’s entrance, burned radioactively. She longed to drop them, to throw them away from her, but feared that doing so would attract attention her way, the equivalent of waving a lace-trimmed pink flag. So she stood frozen, apparently transfixed by the panties, hating the image she felt sure she presented. She wanted to apologize.

Which naturally triggers the protagonist's dysphoria hard:

Amy, who had had Jen’s arms around her, fastening a bra in place, before she realized Jen was trans—could no longer see anything but how trans she was, accompanied by revulsion at every feature she identified: lank dark hair, heavy knuckles, gaunt cheeks, traces of last night’s makeup darkening the circles beneath her eyes.

Neither the woman nor the daughter are blamed for this and the protagonist isn't just unhappy about having her space invaded or anything like that, it's specifically that gulf between having existed briefly in a world where everyone was queer only to be suddenly reminded you're still very much on the outside of being normal.

Again I wanna clarify I have not read any of the rest of the book so I do not at all know anything else about it and how bad it gets in other areas. I just think this bit was not particularly unfair. Personally I would have cringed into a puddle just from the awkwardness, but I get why it would be dysphoria-inducing to others and would really fuck up someone's time.

Having said that, I do have an issue with this line:

This must have happened to her many times, the panic among customers she’d just coaxed into comfort when civilians wandered into the store.

IMO if you're a public fashion place where customers just wonder in you should definitely be building a space that welcomes interaction with cis people and doesn't see them as an alien species, because, well, that's exactly how you get situations like the above, and that does come close to being upset from having to exist near a cis person.

Sometimes it feels like transfems get so wrapped up in what is going on to them personally that they forget what actual oppression is.

Reading Detransition Baby by Torrey Peters and theres a scene where the transfem main character goes to a boutique that caters to trans women for the first time, and while she's there a cis woman walks in, realizes this isn't a store for her, makes a polite lap around the store, and leaves. The trans women then has a complete meltdown about how the very presence of this woman completely destroyed the experience for her and made her feel unsafe (note: this woman said and did nothing outside of existing in the store for maybe three minutes)

I can understand how this experience can make someone feel put off but 1) a cis woman existing near you is not a threat 2) I would fucking kill to have what this woman is complaining about. I'm sorry you're in a STORE that CATERS TO YOUR TRANSNESS and is EMPLOYED BY TRANS WOMEN and you're mad that a cis person happens to come near it? There is nothing I would want more in this world than to have a store where I could actually try on binders and make sure it fit me instead of paying $80 for something that will permanently distort my ribs. I wish there were employees around that I could ask questions about STPs or packers. I wish there was somewhere I could get clothes made for my body, or has people who are like me shopping in it. And I wouldn't care if cis people were in it because, guess what? You can't tell someones gender just by looking at them and maybe this is the start of their journey. Maybe we can be less gatekeepy and appreciate the things we have and be open to sharing these things with the people in the world around us instead of getting mad at other people for existing?

[echos-newlegs]

So this is an NSFW Alphabet for Echo requested by @smallandangrey . They requested a Tech one as well, and an Echo fic so 😳 expect some more stuff.

I am still working on other requests in my inbox as well! Dw. Just worked on this since it was easier for my tired brain. Hopefully I can write an actual one-shot tomorrow 😌💕💕

No tags since this is strictly nsfw and I don't wanna make the tags uncomfortable 😳 idk it's late and I'm overthinking lmaoo

Echo NSFW Alphabet below the cut

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Since the citadel Echo has been real into affection. Especially with you. It often grounds him and reminds him that he's there, you're there, this is real. This is happening. So when the two of you finish he is almost always pulling you close to him. Though it did take some warming up, since at first he was really worried he'd hurt you or make you uncomfortable with his mechanical limbs. 

After sex he just enjoys a good cuddle. He Especially loves it when you let him lay his head on your chest and you hold him. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

After the citadel incident he's never really been into anything on himself. He'd have to say his eyes or his mouth. Since you always say you love his eyes, and his mouth seems to bring you the most pleasure from sex. Though I do hc only his thigh down were blown off in the explosion. He still isn't too sure about it since after citadel he lost a lot of his stamina and he doesn't last as long as he used to. 

On you, I see this hc a lot but it honestly makes sense to me. Don't ask why, but he is a tits man. He enjoys the softer, sweeter things in life. So your tits? Small or big? Sheesh he's on 'em like they're his will to live! He could lay on them, squeeze 'em, or even suck on them all night if you let him. After you got him to open up about what he wanted to try out. Which again- took some time. But he admitted he'd like to fuck your tits. It was awkward at first for him, but he absolutely nearly died after. Especially since that was probably the shortest he'd ever last with you. He just completely lost it, especially when you licked some of the cum that got on the corner of your mouth. He swears his soul left him for a second after that. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He's not too into messes, but he does enjoy Cumming on your chest or your stomach. Echo doesn't really want to even try and risk accidentally impregnating you. Even if you are on the pill. Tech explained to him how even condoms AND the pill can backfire in numerous ways, and now he's just not risking it. So he normally just cums on your chest or. If you're okay with it, he'll finish in your mouth. Which also has him going absolutely nuts. 

As for yours? He loves it on his tongue. Eating you out is one of his favorite things to do, and when you cum from JUST his tongue? Absolutely heavenly for the man. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) 

Echo would be interested in trying out toys I fell. Especially with his mecho hand. He'd find add ons that gave you pleasure. Or was just enough to just tease you with. I feel like he would also have a dirty photo of you saved for just him when the two of you are apart. One that you don't know about so it just adds to his own thrill. 

 E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Echo at first after the citadel is fairly rusty. If the two of you were together before then he's really insecure he won't meet the expectations like he did before he was in stasis for almost over a year. If the two of you weren't together he's still insecure, but at least he knows that you don't know how he was in bed previous years before. 

He does in fact know what he's doing. His arc twin is Fives, and I am sure that door told him stories and hooked Echo up with at least one or two beings in their lifetime. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Since Echo is a tits man he likes you either on your back, riding him, or fucking you with a mirror in front of the two of you. The way your tits bounce mesmerize him and he loves having his mouth or hands on them while the two of you get nasty. What drives him absolutely feral is when you ride him and bring his hands up to your chest. Then squeeze your hands over his his while they squeeze your breasts. Absolutely divine. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It really depends on his mood. Echo has more of a sarcastic, dry sense of humor. So if he is feeling it he will crack a joke here or there, but not too many. If you two are having sex after a long mission where he thought he wasn't going to make it out(or if he didn't think you were, if you travel with tbb.) Then he's normally more serious and sappy while he fucks you slowly into the night. Reminding himself that he has you and you have him, still. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Echo is pretty well groomed. He doesn't like a mess, and plus it's too itchy for him when it gets too long. So he always keeps it trimmed down. Never shaved, since for one, he doesn't like the feel of it growing back. Then two he just doesn't like himself with no hair down there. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Echo is normally pretty romantic especially when it comes to sex. He doesn't fuck to fuck, he fucks for love. He normally only sleeps with people he has an absolute attraction to. Someone that he knows won't hurt him. Or at least believes they won't. So he normally does his best to keep the moment romantic and perfect for the two of you. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Echo normally doesn't jack off too much. He usually waits to come home to you so the two of you can actually help each other feel good. Rather than a hand and his imagination. Though, if he does get a nasty picture of you? He won't hesitate to use it if the mission lasts longer than usual or he's extra stressed out from his crew mates. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Praise Kink: this boy will absolutely love you all night long, the more you praise him. Even simple things like "that feels so good," "you're so amazing," and stuff like that will push him further to make you feel absolutely angelic.

Not sure if this is a kink or what you'd call it, but man would die if you gave him a lap dance. Echo loves taking care of you, but when you take care of him?? He feels like the luckiest guy in the galaxy.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He prefers the comfort of a bed. Where the two of you have time to appreciate everything you give each other. There has been a rare occasion or two where he gets a little handsy at 79s after a few too many drinks and a guy flirting with you. Where you find yourself getting fingered in the corner or fucked in the bathroom. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Echo loves it when you wear lingerie. Even if you don't think you look good in it he thinks you're absolutely beautiful no matter what. And if it's blue or white he goes feral. 

If you kiss him in front of someone hitting on him. Or hold his hand when he's being hit on. Show any signs that he is yours and you are his, he's probably going to take you the moment you two have time. 

Another big turn on for him is when you praise him throughout the day. Man can't resist it. Especially when you say it in a dirtier tone and act all innocent when he confronts you. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Bondages is a bug no from him. From all the times in the war he's been held in restraints, or he's witnessed his brothers and Generals in restraints he can't stand them. He can't even handle you in them. It triggers something in him that ruins the mood for the both of you. 

He doesn't like the thought of knife or gun play. If you or him are getting hurt in the process he won't do it. He may spank you playfully here or there, but that’s about it. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He honestly prefers giving over receiving. He loves it when you're a writhing mess and gripping at him or the sheets for dear life. The taste of you and the sound of your lewd moans has him nearly creaming his pants. Plus he just loves the satisfaction of knowing he can make you come undone like that. 

He isn't against you giving him oral here or there though. Some days he loves it, especially when he's stressed out and you just drop on your knees like some sort of gift from above. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Echo prefers a more slow and sensual pace. He loves making it last as long as he can. He is definitely one of those, "this could be out last time. Let's make it last." Type of guys. So expect more love making than fucking. Though there are time where he'll give you a good fuck. Maybe one of the nights where he does try and dom. Though it normally ends with you sitting on his face because he absolutely loves it when you do. If you suffocated him he would die a happy man. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He isn't too fond of them, but he isn't against them either. If he is doing a quickie he'd prefer to make sure no one caught you two. He'd probably die of humiliation.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Echo will only experiment if you recommend something new. As long as it isn't really messy/gross, the two of you stay safe through it, and restraints and blind folds aren't a part of it he's all good for it. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

After the citadel he lost a majority of his strength in general. Before he could last about 3-4 long rounds. Now he's lucky if he gets 2 in. He normally doesn't last too long either. Though after time he does begin to last longer and you're able to finish with him for the most part. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

His hand. As said above he uses his robotic hand for sex quite a bit. He adds on accessories. Anything to make his partner feel absolutely euphoric. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Echo enjoys teasing here or there on his end, but you can normally work your way around it. One simple please and he's normally doing what you want. You have him wrapped around your finger for the most part. 

He normally despises when you tease him. Mostly because he just hates begging for anything. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Echo is a talker and a groaner. He loves muttering sweet nothings in your ear, and will also praise you to the moon. Especially if you praise in return. He grunts and groans to the point the rest of tbb tease him about it til he's flushed red and trying to.make up excuses. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He would like to try sharing you. He knows his brothers like you and has thought about sharing you with one or two of them at a time. He would take charge through it, since you are technically with him and not them, but he just thinks it would be exciting and fun. He doesn't know how to ask and is too anxious you would hate the idea to ask, though.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Echo lost a lot of his muscles while in stasis. He is slowly gaining that and his color back though. Along with getting upgrades for his prosthetics. Like an actual hand that Tech built for him. As for his dick, it's average clone size. Longer and thicker than the average person's.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

His isn't really too high. Even once he gets used to the fact that you love him and his body, he doesn't really have that high of a sex drive. He controls himself pretty good and doesn't really even need to jack off much unless he's really stressed. That doesn’t mean he won't initiate sex with you the moment he sees you after a long mission though. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He for the most part tries to stay up, playing with your hair until your asleep above/below/beside him. Wherever the two of you decide to cuddle against one another. It's sort of his way of making sure it's all real though. Some nights he is the first to pass out though.