#but i just watched a youtube short where the creators were talking about the scene before dany burns king's landing down

[huhustuff]

Hii!!

Would it be alright for me to request some general hcs for the 8th sidemen AU? Like how the reader met the sidemen, what were they known for before joining the sidemen, who was the first person to meet the reader, who was the sidemen who recommended the reader to be in the group, their relationship with each sidemen, is there anyone who have or had feelings for the reader? what was the reader doing during the diss track season? Any drama? Reader can be any gender if that matters.

Yea that’s all I got. Sorry if this is too much. Love your work <3

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𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝___𝟖𝐭𝐡𝐒𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞

💨🧸☠

Thank you for this lovely request 🤍!

This is part 1 to this request. The second part is going to include the individual relationships between the reader and each sidemen. And part 3 will include events after this imagine, diss track season and other events that y'all would like to see, so let me know what events y’all are interested in. I did not want to include all in this because I was scared this would be too long.

These events were hard to build up without the reader becoming an oc, but i tried lol.

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Before you got to know the sidemen you had a youtube channel that you had started in the beginning of 2013 and which had gained a decent following within a few months after starting. You had started the channel for jokes. In your free time you enjoyed playing minecraft with your friends and thought you would record the fun times just because you could and to save the memories. 

Surprisingly people enjoyed watching your content and your sense of humor. As your audience grew you started to play other games as well per numerous requests. After the unexpected growth of your channel and presence in the youtube scene you got invited to your first gaming convention. The invite itself seemed to send you into shock, it was all happening too fast. But this was a chance of a lifetime so you spent days convincing your parents and yourself that going would be a good idea. 

The event was even more unnerving considering that you were pretty young. But at the end you managed to convince your parents and they agreed with the condition that one of them will take you to the place where the event was taking place, but you were allowed to roam the convention by yourself. considering you had not revealed your face nobody recognized you from youtube at first. But after talking to a bunch of people a girl recognized you from your voice. You swore you could have exploded from happiness. Someone recognized you just from your voice. and they were happy to see you as well AND they said they love you content. AAAAAAAAHHH. you were beaming with joy.

And the day got even better. After spotting an area with multiple computers to play Minecraft you headed straight there. Since the other places were currently taken you sat next to a guy with dark hair and eyes. Whilst playing you noticed from the side of your eye that he was often watching you play and looking like he wanted to say something. Another 4 awkward minutes passed until he took up the courage and commented on your gameplay. You talked a bit about minecraft and then exchanged names. You discovered that his name was Vikk and that he also had a youtube channel.

The two of you continued chatting about youtube while strolling around and soon met another youtuber that he seemed to know. Vik introduced him to you as Josh. This Josh was a bit intimidating at first, but out of politeness you talked to him with the slight encouragement of Vikk. Turned out that you had actually heard of his channel a few times and that he had heard of your channel once since his girlfriend had mentioned it to him. 

ahahahahahahaha. HE had heard of YOU. Even if you weren’t a fan of him it still seemed unreal. After a short chat Josh had to leave to meet up with another creator who Vikk also wanted to meet. But before leaving Vikk asked you.

“I think we have to go now, but would you want to maybe…um play together sometime? Make a video together?”

“Sure, just hit me up on twitter if your interested”

“Nice, i’ll be sure to text you”

You parted with wide smiles and excitement of an opportunity for an upcoming collaboration.

Little did you know during that time period the ultimate sidemen (the sidemen that we know today) were looking for more people to add into their group. They had invited a few other people, but it did not seem to click with any of them. But after Vikk and you played minecraft for a few times he suggested adding you to Josh since he had met you as well and after looking through your channel Josh agreed that you could be an interesting addition. The two of them presented the idea to the group. After a little discussion they all agreed to invite you for one time and then see how you fit into the group.

Once again, you were in a very intimidating situation. Vik had asked you if you wanted to join him and some people he knew to play GTA. You did some research on the group and realized that it could attract a whole new audience to your channel so you agreed (you were not a clout chaser, you were tactical). And little did you know that decision was going to change your life. 

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Author note: I wrote this with the knowledge that the reader was born in 1998 (the date and zodiac is accustomed to the reader), but in certain images it can be changed if necessary. for example for a romantic simon/josh imagine, cause it would be a bit weird if for example in the year 2015 a 22 year old Simon or Josh was dating a 17 year old reader. (that’s my opinion but for some it could be okay and if they request a imagine without mentioning an age change i won't do it :) )

Hope you enjoyed this and have a good day or night 💐!!

[thecrazygamingzombie]

How Viviziepop kickstarted the third wave of indie animation.

Okay, I've been seeing a lot of people talk about the tweet below and how Viv doesn't deserve to take credit for the success of other indie animation projects online but the fact of the matter is...she does, in an indirect way at least.

First, let's start off with a brief history of indie animation:

everything started out on a site called newgrounds, I'm sure you've all heard of it. Created by Tom Fulp in the 90s to show case some of his half baked game ideas. Which eventually evolved into a place where indie creators could post anything they wanted without fear of censorship; the rating system that automatically removed any posts that dropped too low being the only source of quality control.

This gave indie animation it's initial foothold online but without any way of obtaining a revenue stream it never really moved beyond a fun hobby done to practice one's art/coding skills or just screw around with friends online.

This problem got more significant as time went on and many of the teenage artists that gave newgrounds it's inital success, such as RicePirate and Tom Fulp, grew into young adults who needed a revenue stream. Luckily they found one in the form of youtube.

With these monetization policies, many indie animators were actually able to go into animation practically full time. Their pre-existing income bolstered by that of youtube and what followed was a golden era of animation, just an explosion of content across the board. You had stuff like Eddsworld, Salad Fingers, ASDF movie, and tons of other creators bursting onto the scene.

all putting their content out there on Youtube for the world to see. All bolstered by revenue coming in from Youtube...but the good times never last

See, back then youtube's monetization policies were pretty simple: the more views your channel got, the more money you'd make. Great for short form animators and also great for clickbait youtubers who abused the system with deceiving thumbnails and titles!

To combat this, Youtube changed it's monetization policies in March of 2012: instead of being rewarded on view count, monetization would instead reward the time watched during a video. Which created a system where longer videos with frequent uploads were rewarded

In theory this was supposed to stop clickbait videos as people would just watch for a few seconds and leave. But in practice? It meant that animators were put at a heavy disadvantage as now they'd have to put in significantly more work for the same result.

This caused a complete and total crash of indie animation online. Between an unfair algorithm and the rise of gaming channels, most indie animators couldn't gather the same level of funding they could before and had to either quit or scale back.

Only the big name animators who could coast by on brand recognition such as Harry Partridge and TomSka among several others, or larger channels with dedicated teams similar to tv studios such as Mondo Media and Rooster Teeth. Were able to keep going.

This started a brief dark age for online animation until the advent of story time animators. People like Jaiden Animations, Swoozie, and TheOdd1sOut who relied on simplistic art styles with minimalist animation that focused on content reminiscent of old vlogs where the animators simply share stories from their everyday lives that allowed them to put out longer videos faster; thus working around the monetization system that had put so many animators out in the cold.

While they didn't solve the problem, in some ways they made it worse by starting a trend that attracted countless copycats, they did help sustain an interest in indie animation online and ensure there was a consistent audience for such a medium.

Now it wasn't a total wasteland mind you, as I said there were still plenty of animators who survived the purge. There were even a few channels such as Shut Up Cartoons and Mondo Media, again, that helped produce dozens of animated series from indie creators.

But even at it's best, these series were still very amateurish. The passion was obviously there but these were still very simplistic flash or stop motion animations with low budgets and small teams, focusing more on episodic skits than any sort of overarching plot

This environment of amateur passion projects, where animated series were usually very small scale and never really escaped from the limited sphere of youtube, went on for several years and kept the animation community alive. Until Viv posted Hazbin Hotel and brought about the third wave of indie animation.

Unlike the previous examples, Hazbin Hotel was a VERY different beast from most indie animation. Not only did it have an extremely distinct visual style but the animation was so fluid, so professionally made, it felt like something you'd see out of a mainstream studio. It felt leagues above the average indie project in terms of quality.

Now Viv had already a decent audience from her Zoophobia webcomic, her speed draws, and the die young video. So it wasn't like she was starting from nothing. But there was no denying that this new form of animation caught people's attention and caught it FAST.

You all can probably recall the explosion of discussion that surrounded the original pilot and how it was all the internet was talking about for awhile. Viv road that wave and used the momentum to launch 'Helluva Boss' another indie production with a similar style.

This made her even more popular, especially when she started cranking out new episodes of the latter series with the same high quality as before, and soon her fanbase swelled to millions. A fanbase that was more than happy to crowdfund Viv's work through patreon and merch sales. Then other animators saw this and realized that there was a sizable audience for animated content; one that could not only sustain professional level animation, but was desperate for more content of this scale. Soon several other series started cropping up like MurderDrones, Lackadaisy, Monkey Wrench, and the Amazing Digital Circus. All of which followed Viv's lead of producing high quality, fluid animation with overarching plots that drew funding entirely from legions of online fans.

For the first time in a long time, indie animation was breaking out of it's original platform and reaching far more mainstream audiences than it ever has in the past on a scale never before seen and it's all because Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss kicked off this new animation renaissance!

Now I'm not gonna say Viv was solely responsible, the series we enjoy now have thrived primarily on their own merits and the creative minds behind them.

But as it stands, her work played a big role in setting the stage for other indie animation projects and creating the perfect conditions for them to thrive amidst the current digital landscape. Like it or not, Viv is the catalyst for modern indie animation. To deny Viv her rightful place in history out of spite is nothing short of historical revisionism.

Give the gal her due, she's done some amazing things for this crazy world we live in.

Here's the videos I got most of my info from, it's important to cite one's sources after all!

[dg-outlaw]

Blue Beetle - Movie Review

Finally got to see this on HBO Max... yes, "MAX" we still think of you as HBO just as Grogu is still Baby Yoda. Deal with it.

So, back to 'Blue Beetle'.

Long review, short, I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and think it's one of DC's best in their quasi-DCEU/not DCEU or whatever is going on with WB and the DC movies these days. From what I understand, James Gunn/WB is not scrapping everything from the Snyder-verse/DCEU, but changes are coming and there's rumor that this iteration of Jaime Reyes/Blue Beetle will stick around and I really hope so. I also think it helps that there were no character cameos in the film, only mentions of heroes like Superman, Batman, etc. so this Blue Beetle could easily be folded into the upcoming Gunn-verse.

As a latino I'm both ashamed to say I don't know much about Jaime Reyes' Blue Beetle outside of his appearances on the 'Young Justice' animated series, but I was also excited to see him on the big screen (metaphorically) and plan to go back and check out his comics.

I won't do a random synopsis as you can easily hit up a Youtube trailer or read an IMDb blurb to get that info, but I will talk about some of things I really enjoyed about this film. Warning: Slight Spoiler's ahead.

First off, this was overall a well-polished, well-written, directed, acted, and enjoyable film. The CGI was CGI, but it never felt janky and I could see the attention to detail in a lot of the VFX work, even with Jaime's practical Blue Beetle suit. I also truly appreciated that this film took risks and didn't shy away from taking those risks, creating stakes and sometimes following through, and addressing certain cultural and socio-economic subject matter without being preachy. In some ways I compare it to the MCU's 'Black Panther' in tackling the cultural and socio-economic things that mainstream, especially Disney, often tries to shy away from.

While 'Blue Beetle' isn't as serious in tone as 'Black Panther' there were several moments in the film where you knew that the writer and director had some creative leeway as opposed to having lots of studio oversight, just as Ryan Coogler had in the first 'Black Panther' film. I'm not sure if this is because WB wasn't paying attention because the DCEU was dying off or if they were somehow convinced to let the creators do their thing.

There were also so many moments where my Hollywood Blockbuster/MCU-trained brain said, "now is where they pull away from the hard moment, make a joke to pull away from a real emotion, or water down the stakes", but that didn't happen in this film. Yes, it was funny throughout, and jokes were made to lighten the mood where appropriate, but it was never at a disservice to the story or the characters. There were no moments where I felt like some director/screenwriter/studio-exec was getting embarrassed because it's a superhero movie so [insert Whedon-esque quip here] to avoid showing feelings.

Plus, you had George Lopez bringing his well-known loud, wild humor as the conspiracy theory spouting, 1% hating, mad-scientist Uncle Rudy, but if anything I think he was needed to give light to a story that potential to be really dark and sad at times. This is not to say there weren't moments that tugged at your heartstrings and made you feel or think. This movie went there because yes, we can think it's cheesy because it's just a superhero movie, but in-universe these events are reality for the characters and I think other superhero movies need to remember that. This was really well done in the first transformation scene of Jaime into the Blue Beetle as it started with light humor and slowly morphed into an almost horror-film like scene. There was no gore, but you felt the terror that Jaime and his family were feeling by watching things unfold. We, as the audience know what's going on, but for him and the family, the shit was hitting the fan and they didn't know what was going on.

Honestly, I didn't know what to expect from this film. Having recently watched Shazam 2, which I thought was really funny and better than the first, but also forgettable and the Flash movie (which I also thought was fun but forgettable), I just expected more popcorn fun--the last sugary drops of the DCEU slushie before the Gunn-verse got underway. What I recalled about the trailers and vague reviews about this film was that it was a fun superhero movie that focused heavily on family.

But unlike the popcorn, turn your brain off and enjoy chaos of the Fast franchise, it didn't require Vin Diesel, 30 movies, and an endless string of memes to drill that concept into your head. Yes, Jaime Reyes is the hero in the film, but it's the collective efforts and support of his family that ends up helping him win in the end and it's what gave the movie heart.

This is also not meant to take away from Xolo Maridueña's performance as Jaime Reyes as the hero, an actor I've enjoyed since first seeing him on the Netflix series 'Cobra Kai'. Just like in 'Cobra Kai', I continue to enjoy his almost innocent boyish charm, shyness, and vulnerability he exudes on-screen. In some ways his character and performance remind me of Tom Holland's Spider-Man as just this kid trying to do the right thing, but is totally in over his head as a teen superhero (even though Jaime is a recent college grad from Gotham U). And just like Peter Park, Jaime didn't ask to be a hero and had no real aspirations for being a hero, other than to his family, but in the end he stepped up. This was not for cool points, though Jaime eventually learned to embrace the scarab's many cool powers, but because he knew it was the right thing to do. And yes, Mr. Vin Diesel, because of family.

I could go on and on about all the cultural moments and subject matter addressed in this film that I thought was really brave and refreshing in a superhero movie, but I won't as that's a giant article in it of itself. But I honestly think Disney/Marvel could take some pointers here as they often pull away just as they are about to get there. Also, no hate on MCU. There are many of the MCU films I enjoy, but the overall formula hasn't gotten tired and needs a revamp. Again, another post for another day, but just putting in a BIPOC, female, or LGBTQ character in a movie doesn't make it good and marketable. And no, we don't need PSA sob-story movies beaten into our heads, but what does it mean to be part of a marginalized community and be a hero? What does that look like? What different perspective does that character bring to the table?

In the end, yes, enjoy 'Blue Beetle' as a superhero movie, but also keep an eye out for the smaller messages and heart of this film as it was a delightful surprise for me. I hope we get to see more Blue Beetle in the future of DC films and I'd even be down for a live-action adaptation of 'Young Justice', with Jaime on the team.

[talenlee]

Dissed Content

I produce media across about five major forms and three major platforms. You will find me posting regularly on Reddit, Youtube, Cohost, Mastodon at the Kind.Social instance. You can also find my games on itch.io and invincible ink, my shirts and stickers on redbubble, my behind-the-scenes development notes on patreon, and multiple podcasts I both perform on and edited and uploaded and maintained myself.

Over on Youtube, I make video essays, I translate my articles on games into a audiovisual format, and I do a lets play series with a cohost that involves playing the games and talking through the process of playing them together, while putting what we’re doing in context across the history of playing games.

Simply put, I do a lot of things.

Sometime this year, near the start, I resolved to stop calling it ‘content.’

Content is a term that evolved in our online spaces to refer to anything that you could do to fill the time that wasn’t explicitly not there to be enjoyed. The term is a marketing language term, where the ‘content’ was used to deliver ‘the product,’ which is to say, people would watch TV shows and when they were doing that, you could show them ads. Content is a term that has become part of common usage to refer to internet material that covers a host of broadcast platforms, even the ones that are meaningfully different and require different sets of integrated skills.

There’s this guy, Jim Davis, who serves up videos about Magic: The Gathering Arena. In that, he streams on Twitch, live, and interacts with his chat, engages live, and brings to bear his considerable expertise on how to play the game and improve at playing the game. Then, he takes those videos, and splits them up into smaller videos that he shares on Youtube, with a set of live editing behaviours. He sculpts how he performs so that it can be translated across the forms, and in the process, he’s doing two things at once.

It’s a really impressive skill!

Then some of those videos get cut up and made into shorts, and served on tiktok as well, because part of the point of being an online media maker in his specific form is you have to be everywhere and all forms of production are designed to sequence you back to the central base. I think this is really impressive and I like what he does, but I also know it involves a small team of people to do the different things that are part of capitalising on the skill he has that he wants to show people (how to play the game better and ways the game can be more interesting). There are editors and moderators and just people doing work that let him do this, and all of it and all of their work is quietly elided under ‘content.’

I think about this a lot every time I slip up and say aloud, the word ‘content’ to describe what I do.

Reason Three: Everything I Do Requires Different Skills

I am a video editor, sound engineer, script writer, improv performer, researcher, essayist, educator, mentor, game developer, games academic and low-key comedian. These are all distinct skills that it takes a lot to be very good at, and I think it’s important to underscore that I am not very good at all of them. But each of these skills is a thing I can develop individually, and each of them produces different rewards. Yes, they can all be referred to as ‘content creator,’ which puts a better handle on what I do, it’s not a cumbersome term, but the term serves to put what I do on the same level as what, say, Harris Bomberguy does, and also what James Somerton does – people who put wildly different types of effort into what they’re doing. When all three of us are put into the same space as broadly as that, the effect is to treat it as if all these skills are unified in their application and purpose and hide all the things that people do and have to do.

In my Jim Davis example, something he is incredible at is explaining a thought process aloud for playing a very challenging game, and he does it to a live twitch chat and to a community who aren’t there who can’t absorb the references from that twitch chat. That is a specialised skill, to both make a lesson immediate and particular while also ensuring that it is broad and communicable.

Some of my vidoes are off-the-cuff recordings of me where I process my feelings about the games I’ve played in my mind onto the record with very little editing. Some of it is highly scripted. These are two different skills, and the kinds of things they make are meant to serve different aims.

Reason Two: Content Flattens Meaning

If you treat all media that people make as ‘content’ you lose the ways those things are different. Reading my articles aloud makes it clear to me how much my rhetorical delivery plays into how the reading feels. My Carrion article and my Carrion video are not meant to be experienced the same way, and my reading of the video is not the normal way I read my articles. You can tell, because I did it differently.

Podcasts have a conversational, whimsical air. There’s shifting moods and diversity of position – I can have my mind changed live, or be shown I’ve made a mistake and step through that. Scripted articles are meant to be rigorous and clearly defined at the start of the presentation, which is all they are. Video essays are in many cases extremely slowly delivered powerpoint presentations after all.

And a powerpoint presentation has a different skill demand to it too! Which is just a preamble to the biggest reason I am trying to stop call my stuff ‘content’ and why I think you probably should to, if you can help it:

Reason One: I Don’t Show You Fucking Ads

All the stuff I put on the internet is, as far as I can tell, provided ad-free. My Youtube Channel is not monetised and should not show you advertisements. My itch games do not include ads, except for showing you my other games you might not know about. The media I serve to the internet is, by definition not ‘content’ because there is no product for it to deliver. What I am putting on the internet, with my own effort and blessedly paid for by my Patreon subscribers who are just paying as thanks for the stuff existing, is by the original usage ‘not content.’

When your work is content you are buying into the model of the advertiser. Even if you use advertisements like a twitch ad-shower, when you call your work content, you are doing it with a willingness to tell the advertisers that they get to define what your work is, and it is not focused on who you are.

This isn’t advice that I expect anyone to follow.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[ticstudios]

The Current State of Independent Animation

Indie Animation is a buzzword you've probably heard come up since 2023, and with no shortage of good reasons- We had several big pilots drop recently, Monkey Wrench, Murder Drones, Lackadaisy and Digital Circus.

These pilots have done so well that the big budget animation industry is taking notice such as A24 studios greenlighting Hazbin Hotel for a season! This is a huge win for independent creators- yet at the same time it creates a new problem: Expectations. You see independent animation is typically a no-to-zero budget labor of love. Many people who have been doing independent animation since Newgrounds.com came from little to no experience and pioneered a genre we love today.

With shows like Lackadaisy and Digital Circus raising the bar to Netflix standards the casual on goer would assume every independent animation should meet those standards. The fact is animation takes tons and tons of time and talent, and usually to do something for either would require compensation. The mega huge shows we all love and that get talked about on any animation youtuber's channel have been worked on by teams of people, not just one or two artists. To hire a team is expensive and it creates a false identity of what independent animation actually looks like to the average creator.

Web independent animation started in the early days of the internet on Newgrounds.com but in 2006 we started to see those pioneers switch to Youtube, and since then the genre has been in pop culture ever since. For a long time it was great, until the Youtube algorithm made the switch to watch time and fast content over good quality long form content. This made a drastic shift in what web animation would look like, and birthed the Storytime animation genre. JaidenAnimations and Technical Dave have really made Storytime animation a household name and even Odd1Out got a Netflix series! This was a revival for animators on Youtube, but for myself and several other passionate animators, a new scene was about to begin- The Animated Series Era.

I released my own web show “Rip the Falcon” in July 2021, and when I first published there were mostly art school thesis films for web animation that wasn't Storytime. Welcome to Hell and Hazbin Hotel were probably the most popular animated videos in that time. There were independent animated series well into their own series' timeline like Dreamophrenia, but the scene was still very fresh. All the sudden everything changed when we got treated to mega hit after mega hit such as Lackadaisy, Murder Drones, Cliffside and Long Gone Gulch, not to mentioned quirky series like Seinfeld in Don Bluth style.

Almost in one month everyone was talking about independent animation like it magically appeared. Now there was serious competition and what felt like a ripe field of potential had now become a contender over Netflix shows. So where does that leave the amateur or one-person team animation studios? Sadly I think our chances of being as successful as the teams with 10-30 artists are very low comparatively. There's now a certain level of what's “good” and one person against a production team definitely has odds stacked against them for success in competition.

I still see new pilots almost every two weeks pop into my recommendations list on Youtube, and although the views are criminally low for the hard work and effort that goes into these shorts, the passion is still exploding. Could these artists be the new Vivziepop? Who knows, but even if the odds are stacked against the small guys, independent animation is thriving!

[oliveriswalker]

My experience with filmmaking as a 19 year old kid*

*not a kid

I had three hours to conceptualise and then shoot a film. What was my film going to be about?

March 11th, 2023. I was on a train, going from my Uni back to London when I saw a notification on the god-forsaken YouTube app. It was a video that had been posted by a filmmaker, content creator, and comedian, Joel Haver. He’s a delightfully clever guy who, against all odds, was actually able to get through to me on the topic of “filmmaking” more than any lecturer or seminar leader ever could. The video in question was an announcement video of sorts about a challenge that Joel was hosting once again this year.

The challenge was extremely simple (in theory): Instead of watching the Oscars, make a movie. You had three hours to conceptualise and shoot a 35-minute+ movie, with the following week consisting of editing and uploading said movie to YouTube. I first thought, “I could do this! But I won’t do it” — something I always think to myself whenever I read about a filmmaking challenge, or whenever I come up with a short film idea worth creating —

I never seemed to try.

After the obligatory doubt that fills my mind had dissipated, the song Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now by The Smiths decided to play on my Spotify. Not only is it a great song with a catchy rhythm yet solemn lyrics, but it was also an incredibly well-timed piece of inspiration for what would then turn into WE SHOULD TALK BEFORE YOU LEAVE — my movie.

I immediately texted my friend Jonah — someone who lives directly below me at Uni — asking if he would be available on the evening of March 13th to help me shoot it. This brings up the first “fun fact” that I’ve repeatedly boasted about whenever someone has asked me about this movie — you had THREE HOURS to make this film, and on top of that, the film had to be 35 minutes and up. The idea was to shoot a movie whilst the Oscars was airing and in America, that’s great! But over here in the U.K., that meant I would be filming from midnight to 3 AM. Rough, but doable. So not only was I making a film within the constraints of a three-hour timer, but I was also damaging a sleeping pattern I was still working on at Uni as well as keeping all of my neighbours up thanks to the thin walls and my love for LOUD conversations in my movies.

Jonah immediately got back to me. He was in. I told him I didn’t have an idea or an outline for the film. That would ruin the fun.

I stuck to that. March 12th, 2023. I was in London until Sunday morning. I spent all day trying to distract myself from the endless possibilities of what I could film on Sunday. I didn’t want to plan anything out. I wanted to stick to what Joel Haver had laid out in his video which was: just have fun. Now, with me, fun always has to come with a side of meta-contextual self-analysis that delves into why we do the things that we do as humans and why we feel the things that we feel, so I already knew that even if I went for a funny story about me trying to, let’s say, run faster than The Flash, I would still need a scene or two that broke the characters down so that I could project some sort of deeper meaning onto them. Adding to that, the fact that there wasn’t going to be a script, or anything written down, before the three-hour-timer began deeply worried me. There wasn’t a set guide on where the story was going to go, or even WHAT the story was.

It didn’t matter though. I went on with my day, fell asleep, woke up, and got back on the train.

March 13th, 2023. I arrived at Uni at around 5 pm. I immediately got some rest, knowing that I would be up ’til late. It reached 11 pm. Jonah and I were sitting in my accommodation, talking about what we were going to do for the next three hours once it had hit midnight. I knew I wanted to make a film that starred only me…talking to myself. I loved that visual in my head. I also knew I wanted to use this prop gun that was given to me by a friend when we were in the midst of shooting another project. I grabbed it from a box underneath my bed and realised that it was a dark shade of red. It was too red. It looked fake…because it was. Frantically trying to figure out how I could make it black, I grabbed three Sharpies and scribbled all over the gun. The result was a slightly darker shade of red. Oh well.

The time came and we set the camera up. Talking to yourself for thirty minutes is not hard but it is hard when you have to build some sort of narrative around it. I quickly came up with the idea, inspired by The Smiths song I listened to on the train, to make a film about a guy who’s about to commit suicide but before he can go through with it, another version of him shows up. Now, having been bombarded with the concept of the “multiverse” over the last few years from Marvel, DC, and A24(!), I originally thought about making a film in which other versions of this guy keep turning up and killing themselves in front of him, almost like a horror film. I think I’ll eventually make that short film, as it’s quite a nightmarish yet hilarious idea, but I didn’t have the time to fully flesh out how that would work as a (barely) feature film. So I kept it relatively simple, this other version of the character is just going to be a “vision” inside his head — I even reference the multiverse within the conversation, brushing it off as a cool idea that isn’t real.

We shot the first half of the conversation, with me sitting on the bed, holding the gun. I would say a bunch of random things, a sad (fictional) story about my grandad, and more random things. Then, I got changed, sat in the chair, put in one earphone (in the ear you couldn’t see on camera), and responded to everything the “other” me was saying. It wasn’t too complicated but trying to do it in three hours with minimal planning was stressful — however, it was still fun.

After multiple angles of the same conversation, we ran outside and shot the opening sequence. I also had to smoke a cigarette on camera which my mum did not appreciate but anything for the movie, am I right? We finished the shoot by filming the last scene which was originally going to be completely different but we ran out of time. In fact, when we shot it, I kind of thought that there wasn’t really an ending to the film. The main character comes to his senses, doesn’t kill himself, rips up the suicide note, and watches the Oscars — that’s an ending, for sure. But while shooting, I had no idea that’s what it was going to be. I just ran around this tiny prison cell of a room while my friend Jonah frantically tried to keep me in focus.

The edit is where it came together. The final thing I did to the film in the edit that brought it all together was the digital zoom out to reveal that this film that you had all been watching is now being displayed on the TV. Although, that isn’t what that means. Again, if I had more time, or had made this film without the constraints of the challenge, I would’ve gone with the original ending which I won’t get into here as I would like to circle back to it in the (very) near future. Instead, the ending now represents a feeling I get a lot: depersonalisation. The feeling that your life is almost like a movie and you’re simply viewing it from an outside perspective. It’s a horrible, weird, yet sometimes oddly satisfying feeling. The representation of it in the film kind of sucks. It’s literally just “Look his life is on the TV and he’s watching it while it’s on the TV — “. It’s simple, it’s in your face, and it literally is what it is without any sense of nuance but I think it works for what the film was trying to be…which was…fun. Or at least, that’s what Joel Haver told us to do. Just have fun.

While reading this, you might’ve thought to yourself “Why is he getting so worked up over a competition in which the prize is…nothing?”. And that’s fair. The reason is simply that I used to struggle with going through with things (I still do but in case any potential employers read this, I DEFINITELY DON’T). It took me three years (2017–2020) to finally get the courage to simply admit that I make music and an additional six months of me tinkering with sounds before I could happily release anything with my whiny voice on it. With film, it was even worse. I didn’t release anything publicly (with promotion) until this film…and I’ve been making short films since I was TEN YEARS OLD.

Now I know that…that isn’t weird. It takes time before you can “perfect” something (in your own eyes) to the point where you can say, “Yep, this is it, I want the world to see/hear this” but my point is this: with YouTube (and Vimeo) being a platform that is free for anyone to use, with literally every single human on there, why did it take me so long to admit that I loved making films? Why did it take me so long to show off the films/music videos I would make in my free time? Or even the ones I made at University and College? And the answer, to me, is very simple.

People have a preset notion about what it takes to be a creator and what “art” is. For a lot of people, to them, I would be an “aspiring filmmaker” and I do believe that too. It’s a fair “label” as I am not making money from the films I make, sure. But at the same time, a label like that feels condescending. Almost as if any films I make now don’t hold any significant weight unless they are then rewarded with a multi-million dollar deal with Marvel, or A24 picks up my film for wider release. Why do these big names in the industry acknowledging my existence mean that my art has any more value than it did when I first made it? Isn’t art supposed to exist purely as…art. Not as a product. Now I’m not saying I would be against Marvel giving me a million pounds but my point is that art shouldn’t become “true” art once you can confidently shit on the doubters, make a Marvel movie, and hang out with Vin Diesel. That should just be a luxury. Big-budget films are what they’re called: films with a bigger budget. My film is still a film, I’m still a writer-director even though both of my released short films had a budget of £0 and a cast and crew consisting of no more than four people. A lot of people complain about the oversaturation of big blockbusters and superhero movies in cinemas but won’t go and see an independently produced film just because it doesn’t have the stability of something like a Disney movie — although I’m well aware it’s also to do with the fact that a lot of marketing for movies sucks nowadays so that point doesn’t hold true every time.

I know how this all sounds, and I know it doesn’t really matter, but I think a lot more people would get creative if getting creative wasn’t then linked to a large social media following, or how much money you make from it. We all want money, I want money, obviously, but I also want to make cool stuff without someone treating me like, “This is great! Wait ten years and maybe you can make a REAL film!”.

WE SHOULD TALK BEFORE YOU LEAVE is out now on YouTube. I shot it in three hours and edited it in a day. I play both characters. Thank you to Jonah for helping me with it and thank you to everyone who has watched it and engaged with it. I’m currently writing my next short film which is titled — actually, I’ll wait. If you want to make something, go and make it. Don’t wait for Mickey Mouse to rub your shoulders and give you ten billion dollars.

Have fun. Get creative. And don’t kill yourself, that’s what my film is all about.

[charleyad]

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[p-receh]

HOLY SHIT YESSS IT'S OUT BRODAAAAA

First! I blame my local tv, RTV, for not providing further detail of information regarding the premier episode in local time, like:

Ieu teh kumaha Sori tea tayang di tipi?! Kamana notip Windara na?????

So then I have decided to go back to streaming it on youtube, again.

>:T

Ehem

I'll give free spoiler part first. The ads!

This time I literally give them more respect for fixing one issue that people were upset about.

I get it, sooner or later they will showcasing the Boboiboy Sori toy figure on public. But please, put it after the character himself appeared, not before it. Like what happened in episode 6.

Update:

Uuuuuuurh... I take it back. Monsta didn't learn anything from Sori.

Then again, this is youtube. Why am I complaining at this? They have to. This strategy is also what made them to not easily get re-upload by many many unwanted users. This promotion strategy is what made most of SEA youtubers, whether from big companies or even creators to stay alive.

This is also the reason why I wanted to watch it on local tv. (I cannot watch it on Netflix btw because of.... reason.)

Also—woooooooowie! Adding more merch collabs with DOREMI! And this time they add more characters!

I got one in February with my lovely Glacier😘😘

Expect the unexpected tbh, buying cosmetics for kids where the fragrance usually will not last long. But I genuinely like it! It doesn't has a strong smell that can make my eyes burn or sudden vertigo since I personally not using cosmetics. It has some scented fruit that I guess...strawberry?

And it might be my first merch that I actually intend to keep. Now I regretting my 11 years old decision which I purposely ignored any merch that they had been with other collabs all this time.

Oh how could I forgot—

IT. IS. REAAAAAAAL

Oh baby yes starting with Fusion pack first!

Buuuuuuuuuuuuut

Because Indomaret as a retail store is hugely wide spread across all over the country. I absolutely understand if they only release it on certain big cities. Maybe started on Jakarta first since they already hint it with the picture of Monas. I already talked about it before.

And due to fact I live outside of Jakarta, maybe I could travel there sometimes. 😅

Uuuuuuuuuh I wanna buy that Vortex pack....

Moving on

The opening!

Ooooh I guess they will do the same pattern in the upcoming DWIFUSION eh? Interesting.

As always Monsta intentionally hide some scene for their 2nd iterations after in episodes 4 onwards. They already did this tactic in Sori after all.

My personal highlight tbh is Angin cameo! XD

Boy oh boy, I never thought I will see a 1st tier character again after Galaxy season 1. :')

Look at that whirlwind! Monsta doesn't need to animate it again, they could use the same assets from Galaxy 1, but yet they still beautifying it again for a short time.

You guys have no idea how I miss that effect, I can't—😭

I honestly want to talk more about the episode but it will full of spoilers.

But wow. That is a good way to start the arc. 😎👍

I couldn't say much so I just put my version of windara's bingo card list. If I need to add or correct something, do tell me.

Blank template

[theclo4ked1]

iiiIIT'S SUMMER! Well, not quite, but close (enough...) I feel so free, but you know what isn't free? My laptop's storage space, there's a gigabyte and a half left on the C drive right now, but that hinders the performance; it frees its own space so I can put more things, but that's not good since the computer needs those resources to function goodly, or so I've heard.

This is why I am (not) launching a Kickstarter to buy a Faster Stronger Better Gaben- I mean a cooler computer, preferably a desktop tower. Here's a list of perks and things YOU will RECEIVE If you support me:

 

 

...and as a bonus,  

Please (do not) donate! Give to the (not so) needy XP... Alright alright, I was just playin'. I finally caught another break so now I can rest and do other things like: cleaning... AHEM so, some days ago, I made a short post hinting at something I was doing relating to Dora the Explorer, if it wasn't obvious. If you know me, you'd know that show (the first four seasons anyway) is a...pretty significant part of my life, and I look forward to what plans the creators have in store for her future.

Hm, what's that? A reboot on Paramount+? One season has been released? Oh, okay, yeah I'll give it a look- Kathleen Herles returns as a voice? Holy. Miér-coles. Okay real talk, I was gonna watch regardless of if she was gonna come back as a voice, if she would come back at all. I actually just watched the first Paramount+ episode, not the ones pre-released on YouTube, and when I finished watching it, I thought to myself...

Huh. I don't think I learned much of anything.

Maybe the point is to just entertain children, and if that's the case, fine. But in my opinion, that makes this reboot far less interesting. Y'know I wrote this big ass post to the Forum for the franchise's fandom wiki giving a critical look at the reboot, "Dora '24", and comparing it to the original show that I lovingly call "Dora2K" because the show began airing in 2000, but did you know it was being produced in the late '90s? I call them by numbers after "Dora" because the new show is just called "DORA", subtitled "Say Hola to Adventure". Anyways, I'd appreciate if you read it, and gave me your thoughts either here or there. Actually, I found out today that someone wanted to know about a Discord to talk about the show, one that I did want to lead, but wasn't sure how it would go, how to promote it, who would help moderate; the works. Okay okay okay okay, enough pr'amble, (more like mumble lol (could you even call it preamble? i got caught up in things again, im so sorry)) BEHOLD, MY FLOATING MA- *skips cutscene*

This, my guys, gals, and nonbinary pals, is my BIG FUCKING THING! I'm not just referencing the Shadow the Hedgehog Fandub unnecessarily, no, this paper is approximately 4'x6'. "seee~, moy grahn-day" teehee Yes, this is what was brewing at D(ora) ‘n D(rawing). I planned for a cubism kind of drawing, then saw it after it was finished and decided it wasn't exactly cubism, then I was told it looked like cubism, so ultimately... It'S iS CuBiSm!!! I didn't explain it before, but the drawing takes from that scene from the live-action movie where Dora's cutting a GOT damn rug at the high school dance. She dances in a style that mimics animals from the rainforest, but the thing about that scene is that it's just Dora on the floor-a. Everybody else is by the wall, not on the dance floor at all because it's an awkward event, as any school would have it. I call this piece "Disco Dorka: Inspiring Sunshine", but I shortened it to the subtitle when sharing it with peers. "Inspiring", because the whole scene with Dora just being herself, not giving a damn (though I can't remember if she knew the other students were making fun of her right there) is inspiring to me. "Sunshine" comes from the sun costume Dora wore because it was a solar system-themed school dance. You may have noticed this is an ink drawing as opposed to my pencil or a digital drawings. A month or two ago, I was introduced to ink, and of course, that changed my life. I wholeheartedly adore ink, THIS is what I needed, it's a digital exclusive thing I can achieve only on a computer screen; it flows, it can make thick black lines THATS LIKE MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD but its messy but like OMG WHO. DA HELL. CARES?

Being introduced to ink really helped me to find myself, artistically, and my, is it freeing to know what I can do; what kinda potential I had. I apologize if it sounds like I'm bragging, but I think maybe it shows that finding out exactly what you're made of requires you to go outta your zone. Not your comfort zone, just what you know. Explore. (oh my god thats dora's whole thing, wtf why does it loop back) Last thing I wanna bring up is the text. I was told by peers that adding text is something that defines my ink style, it makes it mine. Probably not unique, I shouldn't have to say "i KnOw I'm NoT tHe FiRsT", but I know. I'mnotthefirstHAHA The text references Season 3 and parts of 4 of "Dora2K", y'know, the stars that Dora and Boots caught like Pokémon? It confuses me, do the stars travel from Star Mountain and are returned there from a wormhole in the Star Pocket, or is the Star Mountain in the pocket a pocket dimension, or OUGH! MY HEAD. The movie, as far as I know, makes no reference to this. I thought of writing REACH FOR THE STARS but then I was like "nah that's Sonic, this is about Dora now change it" and so i did. Ah, that's all I wanna say about my cool thing. These last four months have certainly been a trip, but now you can expect MORE ART probably. I'd get back to playing Sonic Mania (which is apparently bad now??) but I'm too tired...zzzzzzz... zzzz- oh yeah thanks for reading... z.....zzzz......zzzzzzz.......

[josylovers]

people who are not in the film industry will never understand how much is put into the making of a film. it's like your child, your creation and absolutely every detail: the light, the music, the mise-en-scene, the arrangement of props, the costumes of all the (even backstage) actors, the locations, the gestures, the emotions and body language of the actors, every line, every easter egg - absolutely everything that the creators add to the film is of enormous significance. and it's very sad because most people can't appreciate how deep the message really is and not everyone can make it out. but agree, if you had the opportunity to create something from scratch of your own and put all your thoughts and fantasies into it, would you really add something there without specific meaning, just to have it there??? I doubt that very much. and when you say someone is delusional because they understand all the clues and references, when they can see the point, you are exactly the one who is delusional, because that's what it's all about, to understand how deeply you are watching the show/film. like, the duffers themselves have talked about being surprised that the show has a large young audience who have no idea what the 80s are and most of them haven't seen the movies that the brothers were inspired by in making the show, because most people just won't understand all the references to 80s movies. and if you're interested, there are video on youtube where the duffers take apart stranger shings and talk about specific scenes and what the reference is in them.

when I filmed my first short film we did like 10/ 20 takes of the one scene, because when you create something you're really excited about, you always want to make it as perfect as possible. so I will never believe that the duffers who created one of the best shows in recent memory, who wrote a very emotional scene for jonathan and will literally on between takes, couldn't write an important, implying one of the climaxes of the show, monologue more like a real declaration of love, and intentionally made mike's "genius" monologue exactly the way it is. so if you're on the side of "mike's genius monologue," please stay there, and for all our sakes, don't try to change my mind.

[votederpycausemufins]

Chapter of SF2 and a slight tribute

I was nearly done with my chapter when the news hit. In my years of playing minecraft, and following it and the content creators online, I never really knew of Technoblade. I started with some of the og youtubers, into Mindcrack and related series, then finding Hermitcraft. When the datapack came out for getting a random item every minute or so, I wanted to see various people using it because of adhd brain hyperfocusing. That was when I found Wilbur. A little after was SMP Earth and because of my recent interest in Wilbur, I saw some sort of video or stream or something about it, and looked into it more. And that was the first time I knew of Technoblade. I didn’t really keep up with it much because my hyper focus doesn’t do streams well, but I knew of Technoblade. After that, it was the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon. I saw some of his videos get recommended, heard other people talk about him, saw he was in MCM, and other stuff. I didn’t really watch much of it, just was aware.

At one point, a friend of mine invited me to a discord group, and from there a small private minecraft server. This was around the time the DSMP had been going for a few months, I think around the time of Tommy’s exile, I want to say. The friend who invited me to the server was really into it, but I was still in my happy Hermitcraft bubble, and again, I don’t do watching streams all too well and that’s what the DSMP was, lots of streams. But I got a summary of some things and then was recommended a small fic on tumblr by PetrichorMeraki. After reading a bit, I had my own idea for a short fic, and I did a bit of research before writing a short fic of Tommy having been living in Hermitcraft going to MCC.

I wrote a few more short fics before starting War on Hermittown. I blazed through that thing, writing I believe 25 chapters in 19 days. I wrote fast of course, but I also did research. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough to learn of Technoblade’s character, and really learning about him and not just knowing the name itself. Of course then I looked back at other stuff like SMP Earth and a few other things because of Strawberrylemonz’s fic, having Grian related to SBI. 

Eventually MCC Pride 2021 happened, and for the first time I really watched something of Techno’s. Mainly because of Grian, but still. At the time I didn’t really try looking at other videos because I was dealing with a lot, but it was the big first time I saw/watched Techno and not just his character. And I can see why so many people watched him and found community in his videos.

So when the news hit, I still cried at the video, I still wanted it to be a joke or something. I’m sure if it were a joke, people would be upset for the fakeout, but I still think it would still be nice because then it wasn’t real. And I’m someone who barely watched his videos and only knew him through clips and characters and the like. I’m sure for so many people who were more directly part of his content and community, it hit harder.

I will admit, some of this story later on was going to touch on death in terms of how it works in the MC universe. I was planning to have an offhanded conversation about it in a later chapter. It was still going to involve the group going through the nightmare scenarios, though I wasn’t sure who exactly would talk about it other than Phil being the one to explain. Then the news hit.

A scene I had half planned for a while suddenly seemed much more pertinent in a sense. I’m not sure how everyone will react, but I felt it was good for some sort of tribute, especially when Techno himself was thinking about memeing his own death. Technoblade as a person may be gone physically, but as people have said, he never dies in our hearts or our souls. And there’s the fact that he wasn’t just a person, but also played a character or two, and us writers love to write au’s where a character didn’t actually die.

“You’re very pretty. Yes, a very pretty chicken. So can you please get the tree for me?” The chicken didn’t answer, instead just pecking at the ground. “Pleaaaaase? It would really help me, and I’m helping out your boss.”

The chicken looked up at the person who was asking them the question. They had a smile on their face as they looked expectantly. When the chicken kept staring, the person tilted their head to the side, letting their ears flop over which caught the bird’s eyes. The person blinked and suddenly the chicken had attached itself to one of their ears, biting down onto it with its beak. “Oww! That’s not nice! Why do you always do this? You don’t even do it to actual rabbits!”

The person finally pried the chicken from their ear when both of them looked up at the sound of a twig snapping. “Hello? Who’s there?”

“You answer first.” And both the person and the chicken found themselves looking at a half dark teal and half pink person.

“Oh! I guess that makes sense! I’m-” And then the chicken clucked and grabbed onto their ear again. “Ow! I said no biting!!! Let go!”

“Oh… Aven. Finally left the castle?”

“Hmm? Castle? Oh! Yeah I was asked to come here and I was supposed to be doing something. But I can’t remember exactly what- Oh yeah! I need to find… Spore! Yeah that was the name they gave. I just got a little distracted with… With Grifter… Uh, anyway! I’m having trouble with the trees, could you maybe help?”

Silski huffed. “Ghosts… typical. Sure, Toob’s parents are visiting and they’re not the biggest fans of me. Was just going to wander around, but at least this gives me something to do.” A sudden thank you had the hybrid jumping before sending out a stream of curses. “Well if you really want to thank me, stay in one fucking place.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I can’t see what’s not really there!” And Silski waved an arm around, it passing through the ghost a few times in its blind movements. “No matter means no sound interaction. No sound interaction means I rely on my nose and you don’t have a smell either. See, if I were a full blown Warden hybrid, then I could. Could even freak Sense out.”

“What do you mean?” 

“He’s some ‘ender hybrid’. Smells like death to me. He doesn’t seem to like me either.”

“Oh, him?” The ghost replied, patting the chicken again. “Well that’s why I’m hoping to talk with Spore, see, my boss is not happy with him since he’s going to have one of those complicated deaths. I mean, that’s half the reason he’s still around. Well, that and the magic that keeps being used on him.”

“Grifter no do- wait, dead? Like, dead dead? No respawning?”

“Yeah? He uses redstone a lot, right? I’ve seen a lot of people get reaped for that. Wait if he’s not the reaper does it still get called that…?”

“Uh… not sure what you mean, but thank you for the tip.” Silski smiled. “Here’s your wood or whatever. I’ve got to go mining for a ‘peace offering’.”

“Oh! Okay!” and the ghost waved before trying to pick up the logs. “Hmm… I didn’t think that through.”

But then the chicken picked up the wood and clucked at the ghost, making them smile. “Right! First to find Spore, then, Gree-on!” and they started off on their own path, rabbit ears bouncing as they went along.

.

.

.

“Alright, I know it’s sort of obvious that this is for Doc based on the fact he’s not here.” Phil spoke up, making the two hermits and Paul look around to see that was the case. “But you didn’t notice that before knowing that was the case. What’s going on?”

“The vines make it a bit obvious.” Mumbo answered for him and Xisuma. “We know enough about them. Not sure why he knows though.”

Paul started his answer by gesturing to the area around them. “While yeah, the vines are a big clue, the buildings are more so. That one over there is The Elusive Chicken, Beef’s bar and inn, and then that is Adlingtont’s church. It’s the Mindcrack world Doc and I were first in. The vines everywhere just make it more obvious it’s Doc.”

“Because of The Jungle.” Xisuma nodded, and then Paul agreed. 

“Yeah, because of the jungle.”

While the others got ready to start moving, Grum just tilted his head. “Wait what?”

“Well you weren’t built when-” Mumbo started to explain, but Grum shook his head.

“No, they said different things.” And he pointed at Xisuma and Paul.

“We both said the jungle.” Paul said, a little confused.

“No no no. You said ‘thuh’ and Xisuma said ‘thee’. Maybe it could just be standard inflection, but Xisuma normally says ‘thuh’ too, and the only reason for differently is if he’s using it as a more proper noun version!”

“Did you understand any of that?” Phil asked, looking at Techno, who shrugged. He actually did, but also wasn’t going to interrupt Grum and the others any further. 

“If we’re thinking about two different jungles, things might turn into a mess from getting our wires crossed. We’ve already been here too long dealing with all of us.” And he gestured to the group. “Well, most of us.”

“I’m not fully convinced the previous one wasn’t also about me.” Xisuma commented, trying not to give a reaction as his brother scoffed.

“And we’re not going to have to deal with me. This is all about fear, and fear is just an involuntary psychological reflex that clouds your better judgment.”

“You’re ignoring the ‘involuntary’ part of whatever phrase you’re quoting.” Paul spoke up. “We’re trying to get into a world that already had admin protection, and now you’ve got a magic user as admin. And it sounds like they’re pretty experienced. They’ll find something on you.”

“I already know what I’m going to see.” Wilbur spoke up, surprising everyone to look over to him. He had been quiet for a while, obviously still recovering from shifting back and forth from the exile replication and where the group had been. It had stopped once Xisuma had arrived on the island, but even with the time, it had still been taking a toll. “Having to wait for it isn’t helping. I guess you’re different.”

Xannes just stared at Wilbur for a few moments before turning back to Paul. “Fine, two different jungles. Which are you talking about?”

“Doc’s jungle. He set up his base in a jungle, made a treehouse to live in. I think he got out all the woodpeckers Bdubs left there. What about the one you guys are talking about?”

“The NHO jungle.” Mumbo spoke up. “Just called The Jungle now because talking about the NHO connected to it is… a sore subject. Doc, Etho, Beef and Bdubs started up the group and claimed a jungle as well as a nearby mesa. They wanted to go back to the more classic ways, like no fishing farms or messing with reality. I mean, they did it anyway here and there. They acted as sort of villains of the server as a joke. Tried framing an opposing group for plastering banners all over my base. Stuff like that.”

“Alright, so what happened?” Paul asked, Phil, Techno and Wilbur also looking curious from being unfamiliar with it. Tommy was also interested, only knowing bits and pieces from other hermits, Grum being in the same boat.

“First thing that happened was vines growing on Bdubs. We thought he was just putting them on himself as camouflage or something, but Doc later told us they were just growing. After that, Etho had been seen working on a redstone project before disappearing. His disappearance led to a conflict about the mesa which nearly boiled over before thankfully calming and things started to get peaceful, but then the rest of them started disappearing. Bdubs seemed really off before he disappeared, followed by Doc. Beef was around the longest before he also disappeared.”

“Obviously they came back. I saw all of them other than Beef when I showed up for the party.” Paul commented before Xisuma picked up the conversation.

“They all reappeared for a competition called Hardcore Hermits. Because of how it was set up, all I knew was they did show up, and then eliminated night three due to phantoms. Bdubs and Doc showed back up when season 6 began, brought from worlds they found themselves in afterwards, but a large amount of their memories surrounding the jungle were… fuzzy to say the least. I wasn’t able to do anything to help them regain their memories, but was able to verify that it really was them.”

“And that’s all?”

“Well, any talks about it leaves them feeling a bit off again.” Mumbo spoke up again. “Bdubs most of all. Doc normally tries to brush it off and act like he’s fine, but with all this…?” And Mumbo gestured to everything around them as he trailed off.

“Alright, so Doc has trauma from a cursed jungle that he set up in with people he knew from a place where he was also in a jungle, did I get that about right?” Phil asked, getting a few nods. “So which way is the jungle here?”

Paul gestured in a direction and started to lead them down the paths, quickly getting them to a portal. Even with the situation, the group was still about to take a moment to admire the nether hub. Resources back in the early days of Mindcrack weren’t the most plentiful, that was well known, but the mix of sandstone and nether brick was pulled off well, even with the various colors marking the different rail lines breaking up patterns. 

He led them over to a rail line marked with purple wool. A sign listed it as going towards Doc’s base as well as Joe. They scavenged a bit for minecarts as well as Paul grabbing an extra one, a furnace, and some coal. Sure, the rail was powered so they didn’t need to use it to get them going, but it would make sure they were all going at the same time so nothing unexpected could split them up. The only exception was Paul. He knew the rails best, so he would be able to spot and issue, and if he needed an extra few seconds to fix it before the other carts got there, it would help with that.

Once the carts started going, Paul explained just how long the trip was going to take. There were a few complaints, mainly from those used to flight in some form. But after that settled down, conversation started up, being the only good way to bide the time until something interesting happened.

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Vee was at a table, kicking her legs, not really paying attention to the reason she was currently at said table, that being the conglomerate of hermits also in the room and around the table. The only ones not at the table with the rest of them were Scar, Cub and Hoodie. All three of them were carefully working together to constantly cast an illusion based spell.

Vee had showed up a few days ago at this point, and while the hermits wanted to interrogate them earlier, the incident at Mumbo’s base with them and Rendog had caused issues. The human passing and shifters of the group were able to be around her easily enough, but not everyone had that luxury. So Hoodie had brought up an illusion spell from one of his books. He wasn’t sure if he could keep the spell up for as long as it was needed based on the exact circumstances - a large group of people that would always be shifting around no matter how still they may try to stay - but if other magic users helped, between any number of them they would be able to keep it constant.

After what happened with Grian, while Grifter was involved, the hermits still came to the conclusion that at the very least something happened from the mixing and colliding magics. Not wanting to risk a new side effect, the Convex pair and Hoodie made sure to practice privately. While that occurred, the only hermits worked on discussing how they would go about questioning Vee. Though she was a Listener and had already mentioned a more direct connection to Grifter, she was still obviously a child. In the end, they decided that for the most part, only one hermit should ask a majority of the questions to keep from overloading her as well as keep from talking over each other. After that it was deciding who. Since they were going to be moving more and that was the issue with the illusion, it was narrowed to non hybrids, and then further narrowed by who were emergency admin.

In the end, Joe was picked for following the prior guidelines as well as his generally softer voice as well as having some more recent experience with kids through his daughter. Well, that and he was the oldest person there, being a sort of immortal being and having the most experience, but it was mostly the other stuff. So when it was all set up, he was sitting closest to the head of the table where Vee was, Jrum sitting in the other closest seat across from him, mostly at Vee’s insistence.

“Howdy there. I’m Joe Hills. Hope this isn’t too overwhelming for ya.”

Vee shook her head before adjusting some headphones she was wearing. Joe had a little knowledge of Listeners, a little less than Watchers, but it was enough to know that they had ear coverings to mirror the masks Watchers wore. They, however, were not what Vee was wearing. Instead the item looked worn, yet well taken care of. Obviously an important item to the girl, which meant a way for Joe to ease into the conversation. “Those headphones helpin’ out?”

“Hmm? Oh, uh, yeah. My papa gave them to me. He thought they were good at blocking stuff out if things got too… bleh.” And she waved her hands around to represent ‘sensory overload’ clear enough for Joe. “So he got some for me because it could help it for me too! And then he also got some for my sister, but she doesn’t use them as much.”

Another opening for Joe. “Yeah, I heard she helped out when you had a run in with a scary animal earlier.” He could tell there was a little wince from Ren, but he could also tell he knew Joe didn’t mean it like that.

“Yeah! Astrid’s the best! I was really really really happy when Papa adopted her so then I had a bigger sister and she didn’t like me at first because I think she still was angry at her brother but Papa was really nice and even offered to adopt Flora too but Flora likes her family so that was a no. Oh yeah, Flora is Astrid’s girlfriend! I don’t get to see her much, well I only got to see her once, but she’s really really nice. And now Astrid’s visiting her for our break because it’s been a year since dad started helping us as listen things and I know Astrid really really really wants a break because she was stuck doing double the work and then it all went bleh because Grifter didn’t know what she was doing and messed it all up.”

The last part collectively caught everyone’s attention, all three magic users needing to work to keep everyone disguised as they all seemed to sit up a bit more in their seats. “So you know Grifter as well? What exactly did he do?”

“Yeah he’s kinda sort of my uncle, but that’s ‘cause he’s friends with my papa.” A few small winces occurred from the hermits, but that was already something a number of them knew from Jrum. “But also since he’s Flora’s uncle.” And that part got more reactions out of people, half from the news of the greater connection in general, and half running through Grian’s family tree to figure out whose hels Flora was. “Well Astrid’s brother-” Another bout of people trying to figure out who Astrid and her brother were. “-was really mean and hurt Flora and her family, so Astrid was gonna use magic to fix it, but because she was only just learning it, she had to use an older weaker spell to fix it, but she didn’t get to finish it in time when Grifter did his version and so Astrid couldn’t finish the spell and it kinda backfired.”

“Olortun.” Hoodie spoke up, having everyone look at him. “Old spell, famous for a tale it was told in. It can take months or even years to cast due to the physicality of the spell and number of recipients. Caster needs to take a vow of silence and if the spell is left incomplete, it backfires and curses the caster with the ailment they were attempting to cure.”

Someone was about to scold Hoodie for speaking out of turn, but Vee didn’t seem bothered and took control of the conversation again. “Yeah but I don’t know if she’s still doin’ the spell or not because the thing she was trying to get rid of was the fact that the bad thing was Flora and her family couldn’t talk or anything.”

Hoodie nodded, not talking this time, which allowed Joe to get them back on topic. “But you said Grifter messed with that?”

“Oh, well he really likes Flora because she’s his niece and he likes to spoil her a little bit so when he became admin of her server super recently, he fixed it. Of course that meant Astrid couldn’t complete the spell, so she’s staying quiet… but we work through it!”

“I see. So Grifter is the admin of… Flora’s server?”

“Yeah, but I mean it’s also kinda Astrid’s server. I mean, Papa made it so now she belongs to the world he’s in when not doing listen things, but she still thinks of it as hers since she grew up there and everything. Which I think is stupid because then that could make mom’s world my world and I never want to go there again. Never ever ever ever.”

“Right, so I’m guessing that both of them are with him right now?”

“I mean maybe? But I thought he was supposed to be here.” And that caught the attention of the hermits again.

“Oh? And now why’s that?” Joe asked, words potentially rushing out a little bit to keep the other hermits from speaking first, and while it stopped them, Vee could tell something was up and fidgeted in her seat a bit before replying.

“W-well, there was the mistake with Grian getting all magicked to forgetting stuff, and it was enough that none of you were helping and he wasn’t believing you, but Grifter was visiting and since he’s sorta like him but not, he was believing better and then Papa helped get paper proof and Grifter’s been using it.” Then Vee hesitated, looking around at the group who didn’t look happy with the answer. “R-right?”

“That’s… not exactly the case.”

“Okay well I know Papa said you wanted him to come, but no one but me ‘n Grifter can get in since he was here in the first place and I’m still considered in training, so then it’s not the only reason for him being the one helping?” Vee said, though in the end it was more of a question than a statement.

“No. While the magic part’s all correct, and potentially no one being able to get in since I’m sure someone else would have intervened at this point if that weren’t the case, Grifter took Grian away after the magic incident and hasn’t been back.”

“But… But Grifter said he was helping. H-He did…”

“Now I’m sure he did, but he might have been lying.”

“But why would he do that?”

“Because he’s a piece of shit.” Jrum was the one to speak up, though he was quickly scolded by a few hermits. Still, it didn’t end well with Vee reaching her emotional breaking point from the statement and starting to cry, now overwhelmed. Joe kept the others back as he moved closer to Vee, also moving back a few seconds later once he confirmed she needed space and not someone by her side.

Once Vee had calmed enough that someone could get close again, Stress carefully picked her up and left, her magic still being available for assistance to help the two of them get around with the others keeping up the illusion until Vee was completely out of sight just to be safe. After that, Scar followed after Stress, leaving the rest of them to converse about everything they learned. The main points being that first Grian was almost definitely affected by the magic collision, which made Jrum’s suggestion of needing Vee to figure out a counter spell more likely. 

Second was that he was in the hels version of Tommy’s old server since most of Grian’s family was from there. Pairing with that was that this Astrid person also seemed to be in that server with Grifter and also a Listener, which no one was sure if it were good or bad. The assumption was bad since Vee and her dad were still in the dark. Plus according to Jrum, either Grifter or Grian had been on Vee’s call to Astrid and Flora, so either way, there was some association there.

While in the long run, there wasn't much new information, what was new was a big help. So if there wasn’t much progress on the other team’s front, the rest of the hermits at least had a leg to stand on.

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Grian couldn’t immediately find Sally when he returned to his room in the castle. He searched for a while before Grifter showed up with Flora. He had given her the rundown on Toob’s parents being there and apologizing for them busting into the room, which Flora was glad to hear. Now, Grifter was looking to teach Grian more in terms of magic.

Since he couldn’t find Sally, Grian was initially hesitant, but after telling Flora the issue, she agreed to continue searching for Grian until he returned.

Training didn’t last too long, Grian having issues with using magic and just not having the stamina for it yet. There was one instance he managed to get his magic past the blue color he saw Astrid using most of the time and into the same viridian color Grifter sported. It left him feeling especially sapped of energy afterwards, but it was still a nice feeling to have done it.

Upon returning, Grian was fine with collapsing into bed and maybe giving Sally some cuddling in the process, but it looked like Flora hadn’t found her yet either. And while Flora had messaged Astrid, she was still apparently with her dad and couldn’t come back to help look.

With just the two of them, Grian and Flora went looking for Sally. Since it has been so long since they had last seen her, Grian was a bit worried. If she had escaped on her own, the area she could have gotten to grew every second they couldn’t find her. But then there was the possibility someone stole her, which wasn’t completely out of the question after their kidnapping of Jane. Plus it could have been someone other than Toob and Silski. Maybe Wassa was upset they hadn’t returned with the information yet, though he thought Flora said she sent it to him with a message.

After combing through the castle a second time with Flora, they somehow managed to get some important information out of Aven, who claimed he saw the chicken with another ghost. Flora said there were no other ghosts on the server, but Aven also had a horrible memory, so it could have been someone in pale clothes or something. At the very least it told them that someone had Sally and she wasn’t just wandering about. 

They managed to pry out a little more information on a general area and direction Sally had been in which helped with the scope of the search. Having Flora helping to search helped as well due to her being a hybrid, specifically a fox at that. They were known for hunting down chickens, and now that they had a more recent trail for her to follow. She led Grian along most of the time, but sometimes Grian flew into the sky to see if he could see anything from above. There wasn’t much, but here and there he noticed something that helped.

Once Flora really got Sally’s scent, they were racing through the trees of the forest they found themselves in, Grian struggling a little to keep up. Because of it, Flora reached wherever the chicken and her captor was before Grian. And then because of that, Grian didn’t slow down when he reached the area, only having to stop as quickly as he could when he realized that he had caught up and Flora had stopped. This led to Grian falling on his face and finding himself eye level with a chicken that was decidedly not Sally. Sally, instead, had her beak firmly clamped on the ear of a hybrid unfamiliar to the server. A very rabbity ear on an all too familiar looking hybrid.

Grian and the hybrid stared each other down for a few seconds before Grian’s brain caught up with what he was seeing. His wings puffed up in an attempt to make himself look bigger and more threatening at the same time his hands tried to force himself back up so he was standing and easily able to fly, run, flight, or anything else he might need to do. “S-Sam… how… I… Why…?” Grian tried to look for words at the same time, which he was failing at. He wanted to ask how Sam was here, or why he was here, or yell at him, or even warn Flora on who exactly this was since he hadn’t given names before. 

But any attempt at words were lost by the shrill shriek that was heard, making Grian wince at the tone and notice Flora doing the same. And when he looked back at Sam, he had now picked up Sally and was holding her in front of her. Grian was so sure the sound came from the chicken until Sam opened his mouth again and Grian saw him speak. “Please please please I was just caring for the chickens and Gallus was helping me out because I needed to find Sally but then I found Sally and we started walking and talking and I didn’t mean to do anything bad please please please I promise I’ll be good and nice and won’t I swear I won’t do anything bad!:

Grian was left speechless. Sam never acted like this. Sure, sometimes he might apologize to make you a little guilty, but it was always something small. Not like he was begging for forgiveness and like he himself was expecting to get hurt. It was weird and so unlike Sam, and then Grian realized it wasn’t.

First off, it was now obvious as to why Aven mistook Sam for another ghost, because they seemed to actually be a ghost. They were see through and everything, and other than interacting with the chickens, Grian could see through enough to tell that the grass wasn’t being trampled underneath the rabbit hybrid. And speaking of them being a hybrid, Sam’s ears were almost always perked up and a bright white color. Though one ear was still clamped on by Sally even as she was held out in front of Sam as almost a sort of meat shield, the other was flopped over. And not only that, it was more of a sandy or creamy color and not nearly as fluffy as Sam’s normally were.

Now that Grian had taken a moment to calm down enough to look over the ghost Sam, it also gave him a moment to think about what he knew otherwise. A week ago, he had been living with Sam and Taurtis, dealing with highschool among… other things. But since then, he had been here, in the future. And Sam was supposed to be dead. And sure, this person was a ghost, which happened when you died, but they were a different ghost. And Grian wasn’t just in any future, he was in the future where he had escaped to a sort of reverse reality. His dad was the one who wasn’t usually around instead of his mom. One of his twins was some sort of green hybrid thing instead of a pig or piglin or whatever. And apparently, Sam wasn’t a murderer, but someone who looked more scared of him than he usually was of Sam.

“H-Hey.” Grian managed to choke out. “I’m… not sure who you think I a-am… But um… I’m probably not. And I d-doubt you’re Sam. Uh… W-Well, my name is Grian.”

Slowly, the not Sam peeked out from behind Sally. “Gree-on?” Grian of course flinched at the way it was pronounced, but not Same noticed and let go of Sally, letting her hand from his ear, and instead using one hand to tug at this other ear and the other to hit his head a little. “I’m sorry I’m sorry. I’ll do better I promise.”

“H-hey, It’s okay. Uh, there’s no… ‘ah’ sound. It’s more just ‘an’ Gree-an. And It’s supposed to be just one word… but just that little change would be a lot better.”

Not Sam gave a little nod, carefully saying it a few times before getting it all together and saying Grian’s name pretty much normally, which was a great change of pace compared to normal Sam. “Oh… I hope you don’t mind… but um…” Not Sam trailed off for a moment before quietly continuing, almost in a whisper. “It doesn’t go ‘Sam’ like you said it.”

While Grian was a little conflicted to show any sort of vulnerability or kindness to someone who looked so much like Sam, he still managed it. “Oh? How should we say it then?”

Not Sam noticed the ‘we’ enough to take note of Flora, who was thankfully staying out of it for now, though Not Sam grabbed Sally again as well as the other chicken, almost to try and protect them from the fox hybrid that Flora was. “I-it’s Sahn… not Sam. S-ah-n.”

“Well then Sahn. I’m… sorry for frightening you, but we were just looking for Sally, my pet chicken, and you seem to be holding her.” Grian explained, and Sahn looked at the chickens in his arms before trying to pry Sally off his ear, a feat that was much easier once Grian had his hands on the animal. “I guess we both remind each other of people we know. Not so nice people unfortunately.” And Grian didn’t miss the wince from Flora. She thought highly of her uncle, and while it was actually her false uncle, she didn’t know that. “So, why are you here?”

Immediately, Sahn looked a little calmer and happier. “Oh! That’s right! Um, so my boss or master or whatever you want to call him sent me here! And he sent me to look for you.”

And now things were more complicated again.

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.

The rolling of minecart wheels had rolled on for a while after the most recent conversation had ended, or more accurately, the last conversation Techno had focused on. He had realized partway into it that Phil hadn’t spoken once in any of the talking. And then looking just behind him at Phil made Techno realize his dad seemed out of it. He tried to think of why, then quickly came up with the answer. Tommy’s confession. Or talk or admission or whatever fit that kind of thing. So obviously while Phil said he was fine with it, that obviously wasn’t the case.

Thankfully Techno and Phil were at the end of the minecart train, so they didn’t really need to deal with keeping their conversation private from both sides, and the people in front of them were more likely to focus on forwards anyway. “So, what’s eating at you?”

Phil jumped just a little bit from Techno’s voice being closer and obviously directed specifically at him. “That obvious?”

“Yeah. I’m guessing this is about Tommy?”

Phil nodded. “Look, I know I’ve been a shit dad. Grian told me as much when I first showed back up, plus I had a bit of an idea when Tommy went missing. Sure, I helped the kids with accurately summoning Tommy back which kicked off this whole mess, but they were the ones trying it in the first place. Hell, If I wanted to, I could have tried it with Grian when I first found out about that technique.”

“If I recall, you did try, you just were left confused since the information was mixed with worship of some bee god.”

Phil chuckled a little at that. “Yeah, But I did figure it out. The big problem was that you need something that helps represent the person you’re after. And it had been years at that point, so we didn’t really have much to go off of. But I still could have kept trying.”

“You have no clue if it would have worked.”

“I know. For all I knew, he could have actually been dead. I didn’t fucking know if their little summoning shit would work if Tommy was actually dead. Only hope I had was if I was not too shitty here.”

That left Techno a little confused. “What does that mean?”

Phil shrugged for a moment before sighing. “Look, Hels isn't the most well known thing. Sure, the older you get, the more likely you are to find out, but even people older than me sometimes don’t know about it. It gets excused by mods or Herobrine or whatever. But Paul and I know a bit differently because of who we are.”

“And that is?”

“The Wels of the Hels Deaths. See, Death can’t fucking deal with their own family. And If you noticed, You and I are both related to Kristen, me by marriage and you by being her kid. And since Zedaph is her brother, he’s related too.”

“So that means we literally can’t die? Bruhhh I could’ve staked so much more on the fact that I can’t die.”

That earned a slight chuckle from Phil. “Not exactly. That’s where the deaths of Hels come in. Sure, one of them is my hels and one is Paul’s, but they’re not actually the hels of Kristen and her brother, and aren’t actually me or Paul. So it becomes a sort of exception. So the family of the deaths of one side are dealt with by the other.”

“So you’re saying I’d have to punch you in the face to keep living?”

“Depends. There’s two deaths not just to try and deal with that family problem, but because there’s two kinds of death. There’s nuance to it, but simply it’s if you're accepting of your death or not. Your mom is for when you don’t here, but if I recall correctly, Paul’s Hels is that, so mine would have to be the other.”

“Alright, so I can keep punching Paul in the face and not have to regret my actions when I finally go out on my own.”

“I mean, it won’t be me, me. But I guess close enough. And I’m guessing that means you’re planning to eventually go out on your own terms? I thought you would just refuse outright.”

Techno smiled a little. “Nah, don’t want to get as old and ancient as you. I’m not sure I could deal with trying to consciously keep myself from turning to dust.” He paused as Phil jokingly hit the back of his head. “Plus, I’m sure with all those political people heading to whatever afterlife there is, there might be some government to take down there.”

There were some more chuckles between Techno and Phil before it was serious again. “But no. I mean, I dealt with my mom literally being death and I saw that didn’t keep Wilbur alive. I’ve seen here and there you struggling with having been alive so long. Some people think not dying is great, and so many people have respawn magic to keep them alive. Yeah there’s some people who die because of a particularly bad death or hardcore gone wrong, but there’s other people who realize that they’re done. They have the chance to keep living, but they think it’s better to go onto whatever is next. No one knows what that is- Wait you haven’t been-” “She hasn’t told me anything.” “Right, well, no one knows what’s next, and while some people have comfort in familiarity, some people like the thrill of what’s next. And I think maybe someday I’ll go onto that. We all probably will eventually.”

“Yeah. I’m not sure how long I think I could keep sticking around after losing you guys. There were some days where I was thinking of giving my soul up just to not deal with it.” Phil admitted.

“Bruh you better not do that if we kick the bucket. Look, I know we’re cool and all, and while you might suck at it, you still love us.” “Hey!” “And yeah, if we end up in some place where our souls or whatever we have get to interact with each other, sure I hope that means we find each other again, but I don’t want it to be that you only showed up to follow after us. I’m sure whenever I die you’re going to be all upset or whatever, but I’ll be going out on my own terms, not your terms. Your terms are for when you’re done. So don’t make that something I’m responsible for.”

“So, essentially?”

“You’re used to living a lot. I might not be the same. Don’t blame yourself if that happens. If anything, you can make fun of me for taking the easy way out or whatever. Just know that if I happen to die, I’m okay with it, and you can’t be beating yourself up like you have with everything else.”

“Thought you wouldn’t come back to that.” Phil said with a half joking, half sad smile.

“Well I did. Look, I’m just going to say it. You kind of sucked as a dad. To be honest, you probably spent a century or two without kids and haven’t even spent half of one with us around. And if Paul’s got a family and he managed it, who cares, because he’s him and not you. With how you reacted to me talking about my death and how you reacted to other stuff, you have a tendency to expect the worst and just kind of give up.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

“Well I’m going to guess you did it in the past too, right?”

“Maybe.” Phil half admitted.

“Well you dealt with that, so deal with this. It’s not as finite as death or whatever, so you’ve still got time to try and fix it. And it doesn’t have to be immediate, especially since you’re used to taking a while through life.”

Though he rolled his eyes, Phil agreed. “Guess that makes sense. When did you get so wise?”

“Got raised by you.”

“Yeah. Guess you did.” Phil sighed before giving Techno a quick hug. “Sorry for being a shitty parent. But know that if you die or disappear or leave or whatever it is, I’m still going to care for you. And not just me either. Your brothers, your mum, hell, anyone else you’re close with in any sense really. They’re going to care for you.”

“Yeah. And even if any of that happens, call me cheesy or whatever, but if any of that happens, at least they’ll all have a memory of me to keep.”

[princessofprocrastination]

Not The Same (GeorgeNotFound)

summary : you put out a song, but it attracted the wrong type of crowd and caused too many misunderstandings.

trigger warnings : threats (including death and doxing), panic attacks, taking of meds. 

"you're THOSE type of fans, huh?" you read the comments on your newest song release.

and that was the start of your downfall.

-

you and your dad really enjoyed singing. at any opportunity you two got, you would be doing a duet.

whether that would be at at a close relative's wedding or your at home karaoke set up, you two knew how to entertain people.

though singing was your passion, you ended up being too busy with school and trying to graduate with a diploma to even think about singing again.

but you swore to make a career of your singing after high school. you just loved it too much.

but then, you didn't go to college for music, which pretty much shocked your parents and your friends since they knew your only passion in life was singing.

but you took a different direction. you still wanted to sing and you were trying your hardest to find a way to make that your career.

someday, anyway. but you needed to have a plan to fall back into in case anything goes wrong.

you were a realist, after all.

so off to college you went.

you spent long hours studying for tests after tests, sat through hours of lectures, did endless amounts of projects.

in the end, it was all worth the wait and fatigue. you graduated top of your class.

you went off to be an intern, clocked in more hours before you could fully go into the next phase of your life.

and after those long hours, you finally made the decision (with the support of your parents) to take a gap year.

but before anyone panics. your gap year was not all fun in games where you took to rest and lay in bed all day.

you took the gap year to see if the music industry fits you. to see if you even had the chance to succeed.

and if it did, you could finally have your dream job. but even if it didn't you were not going to be upset if you needed to fall back onto your backup plan.

in the duration of the gap year, you took voice lessons, and poetry classes for song writing.

and with whatever you have learnt, you took that into writing songs that you felt really relate to your life experiences.

so you spend at least a couple months writing multiple songs.

after almost 2 years, you finally came out with your first song. and it definitely got recognition. more than you thought you'd get, if you were being completely honest.

and that was what pushed you to sit your ass back on your desk to write more, and go into your makeshift studio and make the words into songs.

your parents were ecstatic to hear that you were finally doing the things you loved. and you knew you'd never get this far if it weren't for your family's support.

and so your music journey began.

it was going well for years. you were finally happy doing the one thing you enjoyed doing.

and you definitely think you were good at it. seeing and hearing the positive feedbacks from your family, friends and listeners. 

you felt good. 

but you lost that feeling when you came out with a new single, called ‘fan of you’. 

you spent a while working hard on that song and you felt relieved when it was finally released. it was like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. 

and you weren’t sure how one thing led to another, if you were being honest. at first, you received good feedback for your new songs. you even gained new listeners and your spotify rank rised. 

but then it didn’t anymore. 

your twitter flooded with mentions and your instagram full of tagged pictures and dms by accounts you’ve never heard of. 

but you noticed a similarity with all of the spam. a guy name george. georgenotfound for short.

you being you, you looked into it. and that was when all of the information hit you. and all you had to look up was your name on twitter, and there it was, the longest thread of tweets you have ever seen in your life. 

you took time to read it all, trying to make sure you didn’t miss anything crucial. 

there must be an understanding. you didn’t know this guy name george. you’ve seen his face on pinterest once a while when you scrolled, yes. but you never looked into him. 

this amazing person took their time to gather every bit of information there was about the scandal, which you were grateful for, or else you’d be scouring the internet for hours. 

to summarise what you read, there was this artist by the name of tia jade who came out with a song a few months prior to yours called ‘just a fan.’ 

it was a good song, some say, and you could agree. it was professionally written and produced. but many fans of george found out that the song was about him. 

not just about him, but about her falling in love with him, when she has never met him. and when his fans started to really listen and analyse the song, it got creepier. 

basically, the song was about a fan falling in love with a celebrity/content creator and that they want to know them beyond their persona online. 

but tia had apologised a little after the song came out, saying that she made that song based on a fan liking a content creator, and not about her falling for george. 

but when you read enough of the issue, it definitely did seem like she was making that song to tell her story about falling for george. but she obviously needed an excuse to cover it up. 

hence the apology. 

and then you read about how they analysed your song, too.

they compared your song to tia’s and found it to have similar stories. stories about how a normal girl is falling in love with the man by the name of george, who had millions of followers on all social medias. 

and if you admitted it to yourself, your song did seem to come out that way. especially if your mentality had been there. clearly your song could have been interpreted in many different ways. 

you scrolled to the very bottom of the thread where there was a video of the man himself, george. he was addressing the issue. 

“i don’t know how this happened twice. i thought once was weird enough, but.” he paused, focusing on building something on his screen. 

“having heard of a song being about me again now makes my skin crawl.” he finished. it was short but enough to make his fans understand where he was coming from. 

you scrolled further to see the replies of the thread. you wanted to know what were people saying about it. 

and you definitely regretted your decision to do that. 

threats everywhere. death threats, threats of beating you up, threats of doxing you. god the negative comments were drowned by the one’s that genuinely thought nothing wrong of your song. 

you called you mom. this was the time you needed her advice. you needed to be told what to do. you didn’t want to accidentally trigger people. 

you and her were on the phone for hours. she listened to you cried to her. she heard the painful sobs that came out of your mouth whenever you reminded yourself of what people were calling you on the internet. 

she heard you cry silently on call when you saw your address and phone number being leaked on twitter. 

but even through all of that, you joked around with your mom. “well, this was a hell of a way to be trending.” 

you did what she told you to do. get a new phone number, stay in a hotel for a couple days while you try to settle the raging crowd of georgenotfound fans down. 

in the span of a couple weeks, you got yourself a new number, a new house and a new car. you weren’t taking any chances. 

you told no one besides your mom of the new changes, just to be safe. 

and no, the threats did not cease. at all. these people did not have a life, constantly up in your dms, telling you to jump off a cliff or them hoping that a robber stabs you and leaves you dying. 

you took your time trying to figure out a way to talk to george. or a way to speak out about this. 

you didn’t want to write a half-assed notes app paragraph apologising when- first of all, you had nothing to apologise for and second, you had too much to say to fit it all in a notes app. 

lucky for you, you didn’t need to start your own channel or make a sit down video on your own. 

your recording label had brought up the idea of a documented series about you and how you became a singer about a year ago, and only started filming and posting the episodes a couple months prior on youtube. 

so you took the series to your advantage. you pitched in the idea to your manager, to which she agreed to immediately, knowing that it was best you talked about it now. 

this was how it played out on the perspective of viewers who watched that episode. 

“bless you.” your producer says after you paused your singing in the mic as you stopped to sneeze. 

you gave him a smile and a thumbs up from inside the booth. 

the camera cuts to another clip. 

the cameraman pans as they captured movers coming in and out of your old house, picking up your heavy furniture and boxes into large trucks to move into the new place.

 it cuts again. this time it shows you scrolling on your phone with a focused face while your manager types something vigorously on her computer. 

the camera tries to focus on your phone, and sees that you were on twitter, reading a lot of tweets under your name. 

you exited the app and slide it away, going into youtube next, reading the comments on your song ‘fan of you’. 

you scrolled far, clicking on some of the comments, trying to read the replies to certain comments you saw. 

the camera cuts into a black screen. which then cuts again into a new scene, where you sat on your new kitchen counter talking to your mother, who sat on the chair in front of you. 

your hair was up in a ponytail. a messy one. you were wearing sweatpants and a hoodie that seemed far too big on you, and your feet covered with fluffy socks.

you were nodding to whatever she was saying to you. it was clear your mind was elsewhere as your eyes were unfocused. 

the scene cuts again. 

you were seen on the couch, your legs were tucked into your arms and your head down, body shaking. it was obvious you were crying. 

you were alone, your mother no where to be seen. 

that was the first time the camera caught you crying. 

the scene cuts as you were going to get up from the couch. 

now, you were in the kitchen again, opening the refrigerator to take a water bottle, then walking to your room upstairs. 

the camera follows behind you slowly into your room. 

it hadn’t been the cleanest. there were a couple shirts on the floor, your bed undone, cups on your side table, your laptop open on your desk. 

you were seen opening a drawer, taking out a small white bottle. you unscrewed the bottle and took out 2 pills, popping them in your mouth, drinking water straight away after that to swallow. 

the scene cuts again. 

this time, you were seated on the couch in the studio, the atmosphere dark and quiet. 

your hair was more kept this time, being help up in a clip. 

you were wearing straight jeans and a slightly oversized sweatshirt. you looked more refreshed this time. but it was obvious you hadn’t slept in a while because of your eyes.

your eyes that usually held a lot of happiness and joy turned dull. 

“it’s been a while since i’ve spoken to a camera.” you offered a small smile. your song ‘just a fan’ was playing in the background of the clip. 

the scene cuts again. 

“when i released that song, i was genuinely proud of the work i had done.” you paused for a while. besides the song playing in the background, it was silent. 

“but i guess the joy didn’t last very long.” the scene cuts there. 

it transitioned to a collage of what people were saying about you. it showed clips of people talking about it on youtube. they even showed george talking about it. 

and it cuts again. 

it showed a different clip this time. a clip of your ex boyfriend and you at the beach on a picnic, that was taken by a close friend of yours. 

this was when you were still in college. 

it showed all the fun memories you two made while you were still together. 

it showed a video of him studying in the library, flipping through his papers and scrolling through his laptop. it was clear he was hard at work, not noticing you filming him. 

but then the scene cuts again. and the music turned somber. 

your ex boyfriend’s grave. 

it was the day you were visiting him. you sat down next to his stone, a blanket under you. 

you were just staring at his stone, not moving. 

and it cuts again. 

“he was one of the most driven person i have ever met.” you told the camera. 

“he knew when to be serious and when to have fun.” you looked down in your hands and played with your rings. 

“all he ever talked about was becoming a surgeon. he worked hard in his intern years and continued being passionate through his residency.” you spoke up. 

“people had only nice things to say about him. the only bad thing they would say about him is that he can be pretty uptight sometimes, especially when he was stressed about something.” you laughed a little. 

“i was a huge fan of him, even when we just saw each other in the hallways. he’s just amazing. i’ve always wanted to be just like him.”

“i wanted to write a song about him but i didn’t the song to be sad.” you said. 

“and that was when the song ‘fan of you’ was created. 

the scene cuts there and goes into another. 

you were in the recording booth again, this time, you were singing into the mic. 

the camera pans to your producer and manager dancing and bobbing their heads to the beat. 

the scene cuts, officially ending it with a black screen with ‘the end’ in a fancy white font. 

you busied yourself with writing new songs as your name got trended again on twitter. 

and george has never felt worse about himself ever in his entire life. 

-

he watched the episode as soon as dream sent it to him. 

“you’re an asshole, george.” dream sends to him, along with the link of the video on youtube. 

as the video ends, he decides to read the comments, wondering what it was like down there. 

it was the worse mistake he had ever made in a while. 

but he knew he deserved it. he did assumed it was about him, just like the last song made with a drawing of his glasses as their cover photo on spotify. 

this time, there was genuinely no reason to think that this song was about him, or anyone with a following whatsoever. he just believed what his chat told him. 

sure, there were some familiarity of the character in your song and him, but the world did have 7.6 billion people living on it. 

“so, here i am apologising.” george says to his camera, live. his tone was very sincere and apologetic. 

“this shouldn’t have gotten this far. they shouldn’t have gotten threats at all, let alone death threats. they shouldn’t have woken up to the world knowing where they live and what their phone number is.” 

“and if you’re watching. i sincerely apologise. i clearly was full of myself.” george finishes. ending the live with a small wave. 

and were you watching? hell yes. 

and that was the day the two of you followed each other on instagram. 

he used your songs as his intros of his live, (with your permission, of course.) you showed in your documentary that you were watching whenever he was live or watching his youtube videos. 

and that was the start to a beautiful relationship. 

you sat on the chair, going live. you waved as people started joining. it went from hundreds, to thousands in seconds. 

as you were talking and clicking on your keyboard and mouse, playing a game, you felt arms around your shoulders. 

you smiled, yet continued playing. 

“why are you live on my account?” he laughs. 

you disconnected the headphones so that he could hear what you were hearing. 

“george, you’re being replaced.” dream said on discord. 

george smiles, giving you a kiss on the top of your head. “that was well deserved.” 

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Mon 14 June ‘21

Louis Tomlinson Cooks is here!! Yeah it’s 100% for sure as delightful to watch Louis make himself a sandwich as you might have hoped, but how was his cooking? Well I’ll let Louis rate himself-- “I’m not gonna lie not that appetizing is it, I mean look at it,” he says when it comes time to taste his creation, plus, “chopping peeling slicing not great to be fair- everything else I’m all right” (he’s… not wrong, even aside from the peeler issues has this man ever held a knife??) but- “it probably tastes nice though as I said it’s not about presentation for me… [munches cutely]... it’s actually pretty banging, that’s actually quite nice!” Success! Maybe it’s cause he knows the secret to faking good cooking- “as you can see I don’t have a lot of cooking ability so the more butter the better,” I mean the experts can tell you, that’s advanced stuff right there! #Louis-aChild! Substituting mustard and ketchup for coleslaw is a bit of a bold move, but in a belated attempt to convince the kiddos to eat some healthy veg even though he won’t he does bravely try the cucumber strips despite being “not really a man for cucumber” and makes a pained attempt to be positive- “bit of crunch.” Oh and speaking of crunch I’m relieved to have learned that the waffle is NOT a waffle, it’s a crispy waffle shaped bit of potato; a much more reasonable fish sandwich addition than the American version of a potato waffle! Full Time Meals polled to see what people think of Louis cooking; the two choices are “it was amazing” and “the best,” THEY GET IT. My kind of Louis poll! Helen Seamons rated him a “10/10 for effort and entertainment”, Masterchef acknowledged Louis as one of their own, and Marcus Rashford keeps it simple- “my guy” with a lil heart. YEAH, SAME.

Harry showed up in Italy, where he was papped in Venice being driven around (with PA Luis) on a boat (as you do, in Venice). He’s in a cool embroidered Bode shirt and shades and fancy hair, looking good. He’s seen carrying his suitcase, taking photos, and resting his head on his arms looking like a model. One might think, since we just saw the My Policeman cast and crew on set celebrating the wrap of the shoot, that they were done filming and Harry was off to do something different, but nope, he’s there to film! The book has key scenes in Venice that folks had been wondering about the filming of, and David Dawson is also being boated around Venice for the paps, so, it seems that was just for the wrap of the *UK* filming, which makes sense I guess since it would mostly be different crew I imagine, and perhaps some of the main cast are done as well.

Liam’s NFT sale is happening tomorrow! If you’re confused and want more info, I’M NOT GONNA HELP THAT MUCH… uh but I mean you can check out Liam’s youtube video explaining though I would guess that won’t help much (even Liam thinks so; “there’s probably websites that explain a lot better than me” he admits). There is a roundup now posted of what’s on offer for the buyers of the NFTs but I’m gonna be really honest with you, I’m more confused now than I was before. It’s clear that there are only SIX LONELY BUG NFTs right? They for sure said that I believe. But the packages for each different piece (token bundles) seem to me like they’re available to multiple buyers? Like maybe you don’t get the NFT but multiple top bidders on each get the extras? Like they can’t be selling multiple copies of the NFT... can they?! Isn’t the WHOLE POINT that only one person gets to own it? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW I AM SORRY. What I think I understand to be true: the six NFT buyers get to go to “a once-in-a-lifetime immersive dining experience at Resorts World Las Vegas” (this is the dinner with Liam and “a selection of crypto leaders from around the world” which takes place on display inside a giant glass box) and also “a bespoke commemorative presentation box containing the world’s leading holographic display... with audio... and a custom made Lonely Bug commemorative coin,” and “a unique QR code directing the owner to a special ‘Director’s Cut’ edit of the short digital film ‘Making Of Lonely Bug Collection’ which features unreleased footage from the day of the drop showing the creators' reactions when the winning bids came in” (I mean YEAH I would think it’s unreleased it literally hasn’t happened?) But then there are really a lot of other extras including tickets with Meet & Greet access to any Liam Payne headline show around the world, admission to pool and cinema parties in Vegas with Liam, signed art, non-Liam extras (I will literally bid to NOT have 20 minute phone calls with those crypto entrepreneurs PLEASE… but that’s just me), and access to an online party hosted by Liam; I really get the impression many of these, especially the last one, are just crypto tokens that are for sale that aren’t linked to the main Lonely Bug NFTs and many more than 6 people can buy them but a lot of the extras I’m not clear on which it is. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll understand better WE WILL SEE.

Liam also dropped by the discord last night to say some hellos (after a “long long day”) and that he “bought a piece of NFT art of myself tonight I’m going to give it as a prize Monday night so someone can own a piece of art that was owned by me” (an even less tangible bragging point than simply owning an NFT wow that’s an achievement) and the most important update- “I want a French Bulldog”! Oh and he said “that’s like one I did myself” in his fanart channel to a pic of a tiny crocheted illustration of Louis and Harry holding up a rainbow flag. Didya Liam?? (...Liam is crocheting??) Anyway I recognize who it’s supposed to be because it’s based on a familiar piece of fanart, but Liam definitely might NOT realize it’s meant to be someone specific, and tbh I’m more <eyeballs> at him saying that at the rainbow flag crocheted thing than at it being shippy.

Our Song acoustic version is out this Friday!! And Niall talked about NH3 some in an interview today; “I’m in the studio most days, it feels really good. I’m kinda in the latter stages of it and then I’ll go get a band together and go in and record the whole thing. I’ve just kind of been writing for the past 9 or 10 months and really enjoying it” and “It sounds like a complete album. God knows when it’s coming out because I’d like to be able to get around the world to see all the fans as well” and “It’s different. It sounds a lot more grown up. I’m 27 so it’s about time. I really wanted to kinda cement a sound. The singles I’ve released previously have all been kinda different sounds. I would like to have my ballad sound & like a cemented uptempo sound.” He and Anne Marie also talked about one of the other songs they wrote together saying, “It’s kind of like a, how do you describe it- guitar driven meets Tom Petty meets Katy Perry meets…” but say “We haven’t really decided if we are putting it out yet, the conversations are kinda happening... but it’s completely different (from Our Song).”

[fyeah-bangtan7]

RM: “I hope I’m on my way somewhere”

There are two gears in his life that RM shifts between: when he has to pick up speed as the leader of a worldwide hit-making group, and when he makes his way back home and slowly cracks open some artist’s catalogue. Let’s take a look at the time in between, at the young artist’s journey to seek out his own canvas.

Do you still work out? Your stature looks very different. RM: It’s been around one year? Since I started doing it four times a week without fail. It’s like my lifeline. (laughs) Since, if you exercise, your body gradually improves. I like to feel like I’m doing something and getting better. If you look at other people posting their progress, you can see their bodies change dramatically, but I’m not very strict about my diet, so it’s not like that for me. (laughs) Still, I can feel my frame changing bit by bit.

I saw in the “ARMY Corner Store” video uploaded to YouTube for the 2021 FESTA celebration of your eighth anniversary that your life is focused on doing work and making appearances these days. Has following that repetitive routine led to any changes in your life? RM: My daily routine has become very clear-cut. Now that it’s been exactly a year since I started doing this mid-last year, I kind of think, So is this how people live? I have to go to work and come home, then there’s things I need to do there, and things I have to keep up with like exercise. And same for checking out exhibits. And so I thought my nature itself has changed a lot over the course of a year, but I don’t know whether it’s good for me as a creator.

Why’s that? RM: There was so much that happened with BTS, but with the current situation, sometimes it felt like those things were just things happening on my phone. When I’m listening to other music or watching something I’ll sometimes think about how I would do it, but my life is what it is right now, so I can only draw on things from my own life.

In that case, how did it feel to keep up the energy for your Grammys performance and for everything related to “Butter”? RM: I was really happy that we added one more thing to our list of accomplishments. I think our team really needed the work itself. It made me realize we still have things left to achieve. And I want to thank ARMY above all others for making all of this possible. I’m Korean, so I’m no stranger to finding joy in accomplishment. (laughs) It was really satisfying and nice. It would’ve been better if we got a Grammy, but so what if we didn’t? In the end, getting it means you have one more trophy at home, and after that your daily routine repeats.

How was writing the lyrics for “Butter”? Your performance with SUGA works to kick the energy of the second half of the song up a notch, but I also think, strikes a balance to improve the song as a whole. Your short rap feels like a fusion of American pop and BTS’s distinctive style. RM: That’s the part I spent the most time on. Even though the song’s in English, I thought we should make it feel like our own, so we kept the original but put a little of our own flavor in at the end.

I felt that fine-tuning turned out well. It’s short, but I think it would’ve been a very different song without that part. RM: It’d feel like something’s missing if it weren’t there, right? (laughs) I felt like we absolutely had to have it in there. There’s something different about us from American pop stars. Our DNA is different.

How was making “Permission to Dance”? You can count on one hand how many BTS songs have a message as positive as in that song. RM: Right. They talked about putting some rap in “Permission to Dance” while we were working on it, but we said it would never work. I have more fun when I’m singing and dancing than anything else. I think this song was one of the few times that I felt like I was just having fun while singing and dancing on it. It feels amazing to give into the song with your whole body and just laugh instead of thinking about it too much. I think that’s the power of the song. I wasn’t stressed preparing for it like I was with “Butter.” When it came to “Butter,” I had to think about what we should show off and how I could do that. I’m always careful not to be a problem within the group dynamic. But I didn’t really have to worry about that with “Permission to Dance.” Honestly, I felt like I only needed to add just a dash of the enjoyment I felt.

After the unimaginable continued success of “Dynamite” and “Butter,” this song feels a little more laid back. RM: Oh, this is really fun. Just like that. And there’s a line in the lyrics that says, “We don’t need to worry / ’Cause when we fall we know how to land.” The message is universal, but you could say it’s also something BTS has been saying all along.

You talked about “2! 3!” on “ARMY’s Corner Store,” saying, “2015 to 2017 was a tough time for us and our fans.” Were you able to say that because you ended up knowing how to “land”? RM: What I do can be thought of as a sort of business—a person-to-person kind of business. That’s why I want to be as honest with ARMY as I can be, almost obsessively so. They say it can’t happen in the world of K-pop, and there’s an aspect of good faith to that because I don’t want to worry the fans, but I want to tell them about the things we’ve been through as much as I can. Another reason I talked about those times was that I wanted to pay off my debts to a lot of people. To pass over this story like it never happened would be like saying “that’s not us.” And because it’s in the past. I think that, since it’s in the past, and since we’re doing all right now, and since those days were clearly necessary, I think we have to be able to talk about just how difficult a time that was.

It feels like that was something you wanted to convey to your fans, too. RM: Sometimes we’re artists whose souls are full to our very cores, sometimes we’re meticulous office workers, and sometimes we’re part of the hyper-patriotic “do-you-know club.” We’re many things all at once—that’s why we talked about persona and ego. It’s sort of painful and lonely to want to talk about these things to this extent, but I guess that’s who I am. I want to express myself in full.

Would you say that the song “Bicycle,” released during 2021 FESTA, shows who you are as a person? You talked about your everyday emotions using a bicycle as a metaphor. RM: I’ve faced a lot of pressure while making music throughout my life to move ahead a little more or make music that stands out better, from minor things like my rap technique to bigger things like trends. I wanted to be good at rapping and I wanted some recognition. In that sense, you could say “Bicycle” is somewhat defiant. I wanted to release a song to celebrate FESTA, but the subject matter is really important to me specifically. Bicycles hold an important place in my heart, so that’s just what I ended up writing about. The song’s something like a compass, telling me where I’m at right now, I feel like. My present-day life is the input, so that was going to end up being the output one way or another.

There’s a part in the lyrics where you say, “When you’re happy, it makes you sad.” I imagined you riding your bike and contemplating your life. RM: My feelings kind of go to extremes whenever I ride my bike. My personality used to run to both extremes sometimes, but it also comes back to me again on its own when I ride a bike. When I ride my bike, I’m free from the pressure of the things I’m supposed to feel and think about. I don’t care if people recognize me, and that’s the closest I get to feeling free, mentally and physically—when I’m riding fast and feeling like I’m up on a cloud.

In my case, there’s a big bookstore in my neighborhood, and there’s times when I’ll walk all the way there by myself and think over what kind of person I am while choosing which books to buy. Somehow it makes me think of that. RM: I read a book by Lee Seok Won from Sister’s Barbershop recently. He was contemplating why he likes bookstores. He remembered how not only is it noisy, but everybody’s staring at their books and not looking at anyone else, and there’s a kind of freedom in that. I really sympathize with that. So I make time to go to the bookstore and spend a little more time reading.

I end up talking to myself just by looking at all the book covers at the store. In a way, it’s contemplation on contemplation, but it seems to be an especially necessary time for you. RM: I think I’d be pretty bored without it, since I’ve been too sheltered lately. Read! Work out! Go to galleries! Ride my bike! (laughs)

So writing “Bicycle” was an experience that you had to go through anyways, even though we’re not sure where you’ve come from, where you’re at now, or where you’re headed to. RM: Exactly. It was exactly that kind of milestone of a song for me, and I think I kept that in mind to some degree when I released it for FESTA. I agreed to do something at first, but then I asked myself what I should do and that came to mind immediately: Let’s just do something about bikes.

Even the music has deep connections to all the music you’ve ever listened to, from folk to the hip hop and Korean indie scenes. RM: You’re right. I drew on music from the people who’ve had an impact on my life—artists I’ve been listening to lately, like Elliott Smith and Jeff Buckley, and groups like KIRINJI.

It’s interesting how the end result is a song whose style is difficult to attribute to any one era. Neither the sentiment nor the sound is retro, nor do they reflect current trends. RM: I, and our team, are, you could say, at the forefront of pop, so after I made “Bicycle” we wondered whether we should go with it. But that’s actually why I ended up doing it this way instead. Because that’s what my life looks like right now. It’s good for me just to get to know myself this way, but I don’t want to trap myself, either. On the other hand, I’m interested in artists from all around the world who are totally different from me. There’s even people who make music on a whim and who don’t care about the genre whose music I’m interested in now. It’s—how should I say this? Anyway, I’m at some place in my life, I guess. (laughs)

Last year, in an interview with Weverse Magazine, you said, “I’m just 27 in Korean age.” I think “Bicycle” might be your own response to that statement—the song of someone who grew up listening to Drake in Korea. RM: You got it. Exactly. Drake’s the one who made me think I could sing, too, back in 2009 (laughs) and that’s what brought me all the way here. In the past I wanted to do something just like Drake—he influences Western music as the musical style he’s after changes. But because I don’t live my life the way they do, I can’t make the exact same music as them.

And for that reason, I figured it’s the kind of song that would end up on the playlists of people like you, as it has a style that can express that sort of person’s overall feelings more than any specific genre can. RM: That’s how it usually turns out eventually. I sometimes think this way: Can’t I put “Bicycle” on the same mixtape as some songs that are made totally off the cuff, like I just talked about? I wish I had that kind of flare or image when I made songs, but nowadays I’m really slow at making them. I can’t think of lyrics as well as I used to, either. I have more avenues to absorb new things, and yet the output coming from inside of me is ridiculously limited, and extremely slow. They say there’s plenty of stories of artists from the past going up to their canvas and being unable to pick up their brush and screaming, “Who am I?” That’s sort of how I’m feeling. I’ve been working on a mixtape since 2019, but I haven’t finished that many songs.

Well, maybe it’s because the direction you want to take with your lyrics has changed. That is, that you’re trying to express the ideas you’ve built up inside yourself, instead of your experiences or social commentary. RM: That’s why I can’t write lyrics as fast as I used to. I don’t know what I’m doing, so I have no choice but to just write first. And that’s why I think Yoongi is such an amazing person. I mean, how does he make that many songs, and so well? Maybe it’s because he takes a producer’s point of view, but I can’t do that. Not only am I jealous, but I also think the starting point when I’m making music has to be the lyrics. I just—I hope I’m on my way somewhere. But that’s how I always feel (laughs) so when I listen to my stuff from two years ago now, it already sounds old.

You’re featured on eAeon’s “Don’t,” which boasts impressive lyrics as well—lyrics that start with the color of waves and end with an image of pebbles. It seem like it’s your interest in art that allows you to keep developing such visual images. RM: I can’t say for sure, but it’s likely a strong reflection. I had seen an article where an artist said that pebbles are the perfect form: a rock worn down over and over in a series of incidents and coincidences, made into some round shape in the end. It said the artist collected pebbles for a long time, saying pebbles are so perfectly smooth without any edges, although they’re neither perfect circles nor ovals. Also, I absolutely love Lee Qoede. I saw a quote in a book about his art: “Let’s become entangled. Let us stand united. Let’s not argue. And let’s become pebbles in the new leadership narrative of my country.” He wrote it in a letter while he was working during the country’s liberation period. I thought it was, what, a very modern way to express things, for someone who lived through the chaotic political circumstances of 1948 to want to become a pebble. I felt like his words still have meaning—like they live on. I guess those two artists’ use of the word “pebble” made a very lasting impression on me.

I was impressed how the relatively large waves give way to the image of small pebbles, and then you end the flow with lyrics like, “Don’t take that name away, the one only you know,” and “I hate being just any wildflower,” about a small presence that is defined by others. RM: Yes, it was fun. I once thought how people’s relationships are like crashing waves, and I think that mixed together with my thoughts about pebbles and it came out all at once. There’s a sentence I wrote down a long time ago while I was thinking by the sea. I thought, Is there any color in the waves? When people talk about waves crashing in, what waves are they talking about? The blue waves, or the white waves? I went completely overboard with emotion when I was thinking that (laughs) but again, that’s just me. So I wrote this one sentence—“I wonder what color the waves are”—and listened to the music eAeon gave me, and it sounded to me like fog rolling over the ocean. It was really easy to start writing the lyrics since the sensory perception of that sentence overlapped with what he gave me. It was a so-called “aha moment” (laughs) and whenever that happens, the lyrics come out of me all at once. It only took about an hour and a half to write the lyrics. I thought of more lyrics later on, but I ended up sticking with the first ones.

What are you looking for that you’re thinking that much? RM: In the end, it’s really important for me to ask about who I am, and I want to express who I found myself out to be, but I’m having a really difficult time because I don’t know if what I found is right. So for now, “Bicycle” is also the result of collecting the selves I found who I think represent the best of me. Even while making a song like “Bicycle,” I have to convey—how do I put this? It’s just about me, this kid from outside the big city—an essence that I can’t get rid of, I guess. I can’t let go of the kid who used to perform in Hongdae. It’s not really something I want to express or hold onto; it’s my essence, so I don’t really have a choice. (laughs)

You’ll just ride your bike, anyhow. RM: Exactly. Exactly that. (laughs)

© source

[itsclydebitches]

it's so funny to me bc the way you talk about show!witcher makes me not want to play the game bc. i love the way jaskier and geralt are in the show and i dont want THAT ruined for me by whatever the game does with them. which is probably weird but it just goes to show everyone has their own tastes i guess slkjfhgdskfjhgkjh

aksdjflaksj oh no! lol Honestly though, if you like the Netflix dynamic you may still like the game dynamic, if only because so many of the criticisms against Netflix — that Geralt is too cruel to Jaskier, Jaskier is too much of a caricature, they don't start out as the close friends they're meant to be, etc. — exists for TW3 as well. So for someone who does like their dynamic as opposed to being critical of it, the game and show might somewhat go hand-in-hand? Or at least that’s a theory of mine. Though TW3 takes place post-canon and thus the two have settled into a solid relationship (we've already gone through the development the Netflix boys will presumably get), there's still this undercurrent of Dandelion as this... grudgingly loved annoyance, I guess. Which, if you've read any of the books, feels totally off base, whereas if this is your first/only Witcher experience it can feel like a whole ocean of potential. We know Geralt does like Jaskier, so what does it mean if he doesn't always act like it? The whole "I pretend like I hate you, but deep down I'd totally die for you. Now what tragedy will make me finally  admit how much I care?" characterization can be GREAT. Great enough that I've got a 37,000 word fic derived from the Netflix dynamic going, despite my own complaints! (I am a contradiction) So yeah, I both like aspects of their relationship even as I'm frustrated by them, and more importantly, I can see many of those same characteristics in TW3. Which might make it more palatable for you, anon, than previously assumed.

It's the books where Dandelion truly differs and, as an adaptation — not just that, but an adaptation where the creators said time and again they were going to be faithful to the books — where Netflix fails to my mind. There's plenty of great Dandelion-Geralt moments to discuss, but you know Netflix's initial meeting? Jaskier begging for any acknowledgement of his work, Geralt dismissing his song as untrue, the whole man with bread in his pants? Compare that to the scene that exchange was likely taken from:

“Geralt,” said Dandilion, standing in the stirrups to pick a fine apple from a branch which stretched over the orchard fence, “all the way you've been complaining about it being harder and harder to find work. Yet from what I just heard, it looks as if you could work here without break until winter. You'd make a penny or two, and I’d have some beautiful subjects for my ballads. So explain why we're riding on.”

“I wouldn't make a penny, Dandilion.”

“Why?”

“Because there wasn't a word of truth in what they said.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“None of the creatures they mentioned exist.”

“You're joking!” Dandilion spat out a pip and threw the apple core at a patched mongrel. “No, it's impossible. I was watching them carefully, and I know people. They weren't lying.”

“No,” the witcher agreed. “They weren't lying. They firmly believed it all. Which doesn't change the facts.”

The poet was silent for a while.

“None of those monsters…None? It can't be. Something of what they listed must be here. At least one! Admit it.”

“All right. I admit it. One does exist for sure.”

“Ha! What?”

“A bat.”

They rode out beyond the last fences, on to a highway between beds yellow with oilseed and cornfields rolling in the wind. Loaded carts traveled past them in the opposite direction. The bard pulled his leg over the saddlebow, rested his lute on his knee and strummed nostalgic tunes, waving from time to time at the giggling, scantily clad girls wandering along the sides of the road carrying rakes on their robust shoulders.

“Geralt,” he said suddenly, “but monsters do exist. Maybe not as many as before, maybe they don't lurk behind every tree in the forest, but they are there. They exist. So how do you account for people inventing ones, then? What's more, believing in what they invent? Eh, famous witcher? Haven't you wondered why?”

“I have, famous poet. And I know why.”

“I’m curious.”

“People”—Geralt turned his head—“like to invent monsters and monstrosities. Then they seem less monstrous themselves."

The casual intimacy of traveling together, grabbing a snack, and chatting to pass the time. Dandelion waves at "scantily glad girls," but it's just a single line, not his defining trait. He plays a little music without Geralt insulting him (because Geralt likes his music and has always been willing to admit it). Here, when Dandelion is wrong about what kind of monsters exist, he's not made to feel lesser for that belief, or to have it presented as a means of coning people out of their coin (note that Geralt doesn't take exception to the suggestion of staying and getting "some beautiful subjects for my ballads”). Geralt kindly explains the villagers' ignorance — an ignorance Dandelion is a part of, even if the text simultaneously points out that he can read people well and he wasn’t wrong to pick up on the fact that the villagers think this is all true — before they share a moment of humor together: "Ha! What?" / "A bat." A few minutes later though Dandelion challenges things a bit, leading to a philosophical discussion about the nature of monstrosity. Dandelion is intelligent! Geralt welcomes his insights! They jokingly call one another “famous witcher” and “famous poet”! It’s a totally different feel from the grudging acceptance to outright hostility shown in the Netflix show, or even the general annoyance that can permeate their interactions in the game. The books are the one place where I believed, without a shadow of a doubt, that Dandelion is Geralt’s best and truest friend  — and not just because no one else will put up with the Butcher of Blaviken. 

So you might still like them in the games! Even if you don’t, I’d recommend not letting that stop you. Obviously I have some criticisms there, but TW3 remains one of my favorite games ever. At the end of the day, the Dandelion-Geralt interactions are an incredibly short part of the tale compared to the whole. For those who aren’t happy with that relationship, aren’t happy with Yen, don’t like playing Ciri, can’t stand Triss, even don’t like this major arc... everything is just one small piece of a truly massive game. So I’d definitely still recommend giving it a try sometime. If you don’t like their interactions, go watch some Netflix clips on youtube after the Dandelion scenes to wash away the bad :D

[reelobscuremovieclub]

Youtubers to follow if you love everything cinema!

Movie reviews

Kennie J.D.

Bad Movies and a Beat is such an amazing series, Kennie does her make up while she gabs to you about how bad the bad movie she just watched was. It really feels like your just chatting with a friend. And shes sooooo funny!

Movie Food

Binging with Babish

Obviously this is how Babish rose to fame although he’s more known now for his work with Sohla and his basics videos. But i genuinely just let the movie recipe playlists play nonstop its so visually pleasing and satisfying to see something animated or from a movie be made.

How to Drink

Every conceivable movie and tv drink youve ever seen and some that you wish were actually in the movies and tv you watch. Theres also virgin drinks and a whole series about game of thrones and harry potter drinks! The slow motion scenes are to die for and although its not as accesible to make these recipes as a babish recipe its fun just listening to this dude talk about it.

Honorable mentions:

REPLAY

you know those youtube videos where they try not to eat the foods from movies? I wish they showed the actual process of making those foods!

Kristin Lagman

Has an ongoing series where she makes A-Z ghibli meals.

Making Movies

Corridor Crew

This gang has amazing insight into how movies are made ranging from their stuntman series to their animator and special effects videos. It really makes you appreciate how much extra work is put into movies that you dont recognize.

Sideways

ITS ALL ABOUT THE SOUNDTRACK BABIEE!!! This channel does a great job at explaining the little nuances in a good soundtrack and this video is my fave

Creators

Cas van de pol

The recap cartoons are adorbale and insanely accurate quick looks at our most memorable childrens movies and big hits

Gobelins

If you want to be a bit more fancy check out the tres french Gobelins channel to watch some award winning animated shorts.

Video essays/Deep Dives

Cracked and Wisecrack

Ive never laughed harder than at the wisecrack perspective of movies, its like listening into a group of friends talking about a movie they just left at the diner around midnight.

Nerdwriter1 and Nerdstalgic

Both of these channels breakdown nostalgic cartoons and screenwriting decisions to better explain why it is we love movie and tv! Although they both start with Nerd i dont think theyre related tho.

Honorable Mentions: The Take, Just Write, Cinema Cartography, Screened.