#but i just want the horrible feeling in my gut to stop
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Ughhhhh I cant' believe it's almost over, I'm gonna miss them dearly ❤️❤️❤️
Joel stayed for three nights. On the fourth night, Lily woke up cold, alone, the absence of his warmth like a missing limb ripped from her some time in the soft, orange morning. Panic seized her gut before she was fully awake, bouncing around, squeezing at her organs like a leech. She blinked manically, squeezing her eyes shut tight, eyelashes going spiky as she tried to clear her vision, as she tried to reach for the bulk of him only to come back empty.
Your writing is so vivid, I almost feel the emotions as if I were lily, how amazing is that? 🤌🤌
Lily tried not to think about it, tried not to think about his note, his silence, tried not to think about Caleb, how he was still out there, some part of him possibly still aware as that fungus ate away at him, forced him to do its bidding.
My god...
It took Joel five hours on horseback, weaving around the grounds outside of Jackson, to find those damn flowers. The idea had burrowed itself into his head last night, as he held a sleeping Lily, gently tracing the big, open flower tattooed on her shoulder. Those lilies, the ones he'd ripped out of the community garden years ago. He needed them back.
omg he left to find some lilies??? 😍😍😍
Maybe it was a little silly, his sudden need to go get those flowers back, but it felt necessary, felt like some final piece falling into place. He'd ripped those flowers out once, because he couldn't bear the thought of her, couldn't even speak her name without falling apart. And now she was here, and he was trying, trying to be soft for her, gentle for her. If she was back, he needed the flowers back too.
Noooo it's not silly, it's amazing and I love it 😍😍
But before he could, Ellie was bursting, like she'd been holding the words in for just as long as she'd been ignoring him. "I was supposed to die in that hospital," she spat out, driving each word home with a slam of her hand against the top of the railing. "My life would have fucking mattered, but you took that from me." Joel wanted to tell her that her life did matter, mattered to him, mattered to her friends, should matter to her. Joel wanted to tell her that he loved her, but he couldn't, didn't know how. So, he said something else, something just as poignant, just as true, as he pushed himself off the railing to stand up straight and face her. "If somehow the lord gave me a second chance at that moment I would do it all over again." Silence fell between the two of them as Ellie searched his face, then turned to look back out across the yard, toward her house. "Yeah..." she whispered. "I just— I don't think I can ever forgive you for that—" And that stabbed into Joel like a hot knife, a choked breath shuddering out of him. "But I would like to try," she added, after a biting moment of silence. His heart slammed into his ribs, while something wet and trembling echoed from his lips. "I'd like that," he whispered, blinking hard to try to dissolve the tears in his eyes, something glimmering in his core now, something like hope. "Okay," Ellie said softly, pushing herself off the railing, "I'll see you around."
Ok, I need to express how much I LOVED how you added the game part. The EXACT game part. This is amazing. I played the game so many times, I love it so much, and your series fits in so perfectly it's so damn brilliant
"I missed you, Lily. Every day. I never stopped missin' you." He felt her tremble in his arms, her fingers twisting into his shirt as she slowly lifted her head, those bright glossy eyes searching his own. "And I'm— I'm sorry," he choked out, the words clawing their way out of him. "M'so sorry, baby, for lying to you, for bein' so horrible, I— I hate myself for it. I don't deserve your forgiveness and I'm not asking you for it." Lily opened her mouth, about to speak, those blue eyes gazing up at him, so soft, so bright he loathed himself for ever making her cry, for ever speaking such blasphemous, egregious things to her, even if he'd spoken them to keep her safe, to keep her away from him, the disgusting creature he'd become. "Let me finish," he said, before she could speak, reaching up to run his thumb across the soft skin beneath her eye, collecting a tear as he did. "When Sarah died," he exhaled the words, relief and agony swirling in marriage in his gut. "That first day. I— I didn't see any reason to keep goin'." His hand shook as he took her wrist in his hand, bringing her fingers up to that gnarled scar on his temple. She exhaled sharply as her fingers brushed against it, her hand trembling against him, those bright blue eyes going a little dark, glossing over with new tears that made him want to scream. "When I went to pull the trigger, I flinched, 'cause I heard your voice."
Oh boy. The confession about his feelings. The fact that he heard her voice????
"M'right here baby, you feel me? You're so full of me, little one," he purred, taking her hand from his shoulder and placing it on her lower belly, pressing his own hand over it so she could feel him inside of her, feel the thick shape of his cock hammering into her.
wow. So hot, so perfect
Joel dropped his head, trying to push the darkness he felt surging through him away, trying to cast it out so she would not fall victim to it, to him again. Never again. But then he felt it, her little hand spreading out over his cheek, and he trembled at the touch, a shudder working itself down his spine, and he let himself fall into it, into her, let himself be weak. "I killed them all," Joel muttered. "I saved her." Lily gently lifted his head, those blue eyes he'd been in search of his entire life gazing straight into his, without fear, without disgust, with something so warm he felt that black rottenness inside him completely melt away.
I love that he told her. And of course, of course, Lily's perfect, perfect words.
"Caleb," she choked out, when he was close enough to see, when she could make out the way his blue eyes had gone glossy and red, see the way his skin had gone discolored and scabbed. And he paused, the creature controlling him— or perhaps him, buried deep somewhere inside that vessel— paused at the sound of his name, cocking his head, twitching in place as he stared at her. It was almost like he knew, like he heard her somewhere in there, like the last remaining shred of his humanity was desperately trying to keep the creature controlling him from ripping her apart. She let out a sputtering cry, blinking rapidly, trying to keep her vision clear so she could see him one last time, even if this version of him was monstrous, even if the virus had eaten away all the life that had once brimmed in his eyes.
And here I am, sobbing again while I re read this chapter 🥺🥺🥺
"The Jeff Goldblum love." Something sprang open in Joel's chest at that, and he laughed, a full-bodied, thundering laugh as his head tilted back, and he heard Lily match it with a little giggle that made his stomach flutter. "You guys are fucking weird," Ellie breathed out, but when he glanced over at her, there was a smile tugging at her lips, and her eyes flickered to him for just a moment, but it was the first time she looked at him with anything but animosity in years. Joel had his girls, safe, warm, with him, for the first time in a lifetime.
I had to take off my glasses and wipe my eyes there, I was crying so much while rereading this.
Thank you SO MUCH for this series. I can't say it enough. One of my favorite series ever ❤️❤️❤️
Nights Like This One: XXV.
"He looked at her, and he loved her, loved her so much it burned, like something eternal, something that no amount of time, nor distance, nor the end of the world as they had known it, could kill off. He'd loved her, perhaps, since that first moment he saw her, looking hollow and bereft on the threshold of her mother's house. He loved her in every death, every birth, every reiteration of himself."
paring: joel miller x ofc rating: 18+ mdni word count: 9.5k a.n. this is the last full chapter. i'm so bereft knowing it's almost over. i don't know if i've ever been so emotionally invested in a story i've written before like i have this one. i literally cried writing the last few paragraphs. i hope you love it. i hope it mends you. i hope it balms the pain i've put you through over the past couple months. thank you so very much for reading. epilogue will be out soon. ily <3
Read on AO3
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#jmrecs#decrecs#metaphoricgibberish#joel miller x reader#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller fanfiction
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CONTENT WARNING: Vivziepop Critical/ Stolitz Critical below the cut.
This episode made me incredibly angry, so it's not going to be as well structured as I try to manage.
TL;DR The pacing and tone was a horrible mess, and this should have been split into at least two episodes to pull this off.
To start, we prove in the first five minutes how little these two actually know each other. They're surprised by very simple things and I don't like that. It tells me that neither of them, but especially Stolas, EVER asked about the other's interests. Cool, that's good to know I was right about that the whole time.
Blitz is WILDLY out of character in the bulk of this episode. I LOATHE how he's waiting on Stolas hand and foot. If we're being honest, he'd probably just say "figure it out yourself" and focus on his life, business, and daughter. Why are we always having to baby Stolas' feelings? It feels like he's the only one allowed to actually be doted on. (In a non-humorous way.)
And now he remembers Via? Sure, just run off without thinking about your family. You have never let that stop you before. And now Stella is being cartoonishly evil in front of her daughter? We've never had it proven that she's a bad mother. In fact, from what Via states later, that's the case! I really think they have no idea on how to be subtle with her.
In a similar vein to the moment with Blitz watching the family later. You didn't need to tell us who he was imagining in that window. The moment worked without you punching it down our throats.
Likewise with Millie's pregnancy. I wish they'd left that as an open thread, rather than taking time to fully confirm it. Like maybe all the way up to the point where she went into the bathroom and left looking a little fucked up? That way it can be an engaging thing to return to in S3.
The non-drama parts of the episode (especially the first five minutes) dragged HARD. They gutted any emotional moments and just felt like padding for the runtime.
I am so annoyed at the way this show is trying to lessen what Stolas did.
HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE. HE DESTROYED HIS FAMILY. HE ABANDONED HIS DAUGHTER. HE IS A TERRIBLE MAN WHO GETS EVERYTHING HE WANTS BECAUSE THE SHOW BABIES HIM.
This is not some cute little quirk. His wife was never implied to cheat on him first. She was a bitch, but she didn't do anything to deserve this. I can't stress enough that if you showed her playing around too, it would immediately solve most of the hypocrisy with this.
Trying to weasel around that by Blitz trying to say cheating really so bad is fucking gross. It's not like they had an open relationship and Stella got jealous. Stolas is a slimeball. He doesn't deserve Blitz. He doesn't deserve Via.
He hasn't earned any of this.
While it came out of nowhere, the Via song is STELLAR. As a product of divorce, she owes her father nothing. She deserves to feel so hurt and betrayed.
"My tears won't fall upon your shoulder...I'll just get older and you'll only know my name." Hit me like a truck.
So imagine my outrage when we aren't allowed to sit and think about her feelings for more than a few seconds after the song. We aren't allowed to focus on her pain. If they staged a sequence between the number and her finding her dad's pills, I think it would work better.
Or even uploading the song by itself. But no. You have to CONSTANTLY remind us to feel bad for the stupid fucking owl. Feel bad because he's depressed. Feel bad because he's trapped in the same loveless marriage as his wife. But don't feel bad for her because she's a bitch.
Fuck. Off.
My dad was manic depressive, that doesn't mean he got to treat our family the way he did. Stolas didn't even think about her before throwing his life away over his booty call.
This show has so much potential that it just squanders. There are two different series being forced together and it doesn't work. You have the comedy series shoved into the same sweater as the soap opera. They aren't mutually exclusive, but truly the team seems incapable of making this work.
I'm done.
This isn't even fun to critique anymore.
If folks want my opinions on future Helluva Boss content, you'll have to directly ask me to watch the piece in question. I'm still going to give S2 of Hotel a shot, but as far as this?
I'm throwing in the towel. Of the two, I was so excited for Helluva. I loved the characters, I loved the idea, and I truly loved the first couple episodes.
But that show doesn't exist anymore.
Once again, I'm going to take a moment to remind you all:
You are allowed to love this series. I am just a dude on the internet. I am not trying to change your mind. I am not trying to ruin your fun. If you love it, that's awesome. I am so happy you found something that sings to your soul.
Don't let me harsh your buzz. Okay?
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i need to share bc i cant get my mind off it ig
btw in no way am i blaming (or kink shaming) the author of this fic or anything im kinda blaming myself and i need to share this ( nor am i going to share the fic or author )
__
so i was kinda poking my nose around ao3 and came across this fic and it was in the realm of what i was into so i was like "ok i will read"
and like
im not gonna talk ab what was in it bc yeah (ill vaguely say its apart of humilaition ig?)
but like
holy shit
i feel horrified after reading it
i kept reading it thinking "hey maybe it'll get better for reader" and it did not
im usually fine with shit like this but it just i dont know what about this fic made me sick to my stomach but i cant get my mind off of it
and like i blame myself i need a break from the smut
guys i dont know what to do
i feel like i want to vomit
has this happened to anyone before? just reading or watching something that makes you want to barf from the content? (again in no way am i shaming the author or people that enjoyed the fic i read, it just personally it didnt work out)
if so what did you do to get rid of that horrible feeling?
#ig trial and error when it comes to finding out what your into?#but this error is making me want to cry#idk#am i being dramatic?#maybe#but i just want the horrible feeling in my gut to stop#usually when i read smth im not into im like “ok wont read next time no biggie"#idk this was dif
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my last week, a visual demonstration
#Robin processes emotions on main#hi yes I came back early. it's in order to process. I needed to like.... spill my guts on the dashboard tonight#IM STRUGGLING..#I have GOT to get a job#just one (1) more visit to a friend this summer and then I will be APPLYING for things again#also I'm having the very devil of a time trying to get myself to contribute to this household. I hate it#I hate that helping out makes me feel like I'm losing my agency—losing myself—like I'm dying every time. I want to be BETTER than this#but I also need to feel like an adult with agency but also I need to BEHAVE like an adult but even just saying that makes me feel nauseous#I need. something. to change. I hate this. I feel selfish and cowardly and I hate feeling selfish and cowardly#I need to . communicate. work something out with my mother so that I stop feeling perpetually behind and ashamed#if I could manage to feel good about chores and not just like I'm scrambling to keep up..... that would..... be... more... motivational#the problem is that I feel unsafe/unstable right now and my instinctive response is to close myself off to all demands#WHICH AS YOU CAN IMAGINE IS NOT CONDUCIVE TO BECOMING MORE STABLE.#demand avoidance makes me bad at contributing to the household AND terrified of applying to jobs and AUGH... AUGH.#I DO BETTER WHEN I LIVE ON MY OWN#living on my own‚ I don't have to deal with the whole soul-crushing horrorshow of negotiating my own emotions about doing chores#chores are GOOD and ENJOYABLE when they're for ME. they're only psychological torture when they're things I do as part of my ''rent''#ok. bedtime. I've sufficiently spilled my dang guts all over the place. it will get better eventually I think#I'm just having a horrible time Right Now#I'll figure this out though dangit#I KNOW the answer is to just Do the stuff and face fears and communicate and whatever I KNOW. but if anyone tells me that I'm going to bite#ok I'm done thank you and sorry to anyone reading this far <3 it really will be all right
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alt au claggor x reader childhood friends to lovers maybe mylo convinces claggor to confess maybe spicy??? thank you ❤️❤️
>:3 made this feeling sick as heck but so proud of it🙏
Arcane Imagines- Claggor
Confessions Lead To…
⚠️WARNING🔞: SMUT [arcane] [main page] prompt: in which Mylo actually has good advice for Claggor, leading him to a wonderful night. (I made it modern college au, just little mentions of modern day things) containing: fem!receiving oral, missionary, riding, anvil position, unprotected sex, creampie, slight cockwarming.
“Just do it, she obviously has a thing for you too!” Mylo tells his brother, hanging from the top of his loft bed. Claggor was pacing back and forth. “I can’t! I don’t want to ruin our friendship. What if I make it weird?” He esperates, rubbing his hands through his hair dramatically.
“Dude, would [Name] do that? Honestly, answer me that.” The shorter one of the two asks with an annoyed expression laid on his face. “I mean, no but it could feel awkward between us and then I’ll look stupid.” Claggor frowns deeply.
He’s had a crush on you for months now, it’s only getting substantial. “Claggor, I can’t tell you what to do. But I am telling you if you don’t do it you’ll be a pussy.” Mylo points a finger down at the larger man who gives him a deadpanned look. “You were the same if not worse when it came to Gert!”
“Hey, at least I’m with her now. I shot my shot.” He defends himself, crossing his arms and looking up at the ceiling. Claggor sighs, knowing that his annoying brother is actually right.
“Ugh, I swear if I’m doing the wrong thing no one will see me for a while.” His shoulders drop in defeat, leaving his brother’s room to get ready to confess his long-time feelings. Mylo wasn’t paying attention, raising a brow when he noticed that Claggor left… ten minutes later.
•••
You hummed in your kitchen, finishing up some chores you wrote down to do for the day. You had the house to yourself since your roommate decided to go on a trip with her girlfriend.
You get a ring from your phone in your back pocket, wiping your sweat and you pull it out. Answering it without checking and putting it up to your ear. “Hello?” “Oh, hey [Name]! That was a quick answer.” Claggor chuckled on the other line. A smile erupts on your face.
“Hii, Claggs.” You threw your rag on the counter, leaning next to it. “Can I come over? For a little bit. If not, I understand.” He seemed extremely timid which caused you to tense up. “Um, of course! I’m just doing those chores I told you about but I could use a little break.” You happily say despite the horrible gut feeling you got.
“Awesome, see you in 5.” He hangs up the phone before you even get the chance to respond. You stare at the phone for a few moments, placing it beside the rag. You go to the bathroom to clean up a little bit, interrupted by the sound of your doorbell.
Claggor’s apartment was two floors down from yours so you’re not surprised he got here as quickly as he did. You go to the door, swinging it open. You move out of the way allowing him to enter. “Something wrong?” You scrunch your nose. “No, not at all. Why?” He asks with sweat forming on his forehead. “You seem a little off is all.” You shrug your shoulders. He heads to your bedroom, you behind him.
“What’s going on? You’re worrying me a little bit.” You mustered a meekly smile. “I’m sorry.” He sighs, drooping down on your bed. He comes over often so this is normal for the both of you. He was too embarrassed of Mylo so he deemed your place to be better to hang out if you guys weren’t going out.
“Is there something I should be worried about?” You hold yourself now. “I don’t know. I’m just going to come out and say it so prepare yourself I guess?” He avoids eye contact, his eyes wandering everywhere except at you. “I think I like you. Well I know I do. A lot. I have for a few months now. I didn’t know how to stop them and when I tried it made it worse.” He explains leaving you in shock, this being the last thing you were expecting from Claggor.
“I feel like a child, giddy whenever the smallest thing happens between us. It’s truly pathetic.” He laughs at himself, your lips twitching upwards. “It’s not pathetic.” You tell him.
“I’m the same way when I like someone.” You sit next to him on the bed, grabbing his hand. “When I like you I should say.” You watch his face blush a bright pink. “You feel the same?”
“Yeah, I have for a little bit now.” You nod your head, keeping his hand folded with your own. “That’s crazy to me. How could someone like you give me such the honor of liking me.” He whispers it was mainly to himself but you heard. You rolled your eyes playfully, grabbing his face with your other hand. “You’re so dumb. You’re perfect for me.” You coo, slowly leaning forward. His eyes widen but he follows your lead.
Your lips locking, the warm, soft feeling on one another. You deepen it by getting on your knees and unlocking only a few times to go back for more.
Swapping saliva as your tongues tease each other. His hands travel to your waist, pulling you onto his lap. Your plush thighs on either side, straddling him. “Hmph.” He breathes roughly after you nibble at his bottom lip. You go to apologize but he does it back. Making it fair.
You grin into the make-out, grabbing onto him as you attempt to pull him even closer to your body.
Your hips subconsciously roll back and forth across his crotch. His lap tenses at the motion but he doesn’t stop you. His arm is latched around your waist as the other is keeping himself along with you propped up.
The further into the make out the more blood progresses to his boner. It’s now prominent enough for you to feel against your area.
Arousing you both to a degree you’ve never felt before. The wetness of your juices soaking through your clothes. He swore he could feel your cunt spasm on him. He loved it.
He wanted to feel more. With the arm that was around your waist he pushed you down gently enough you couldn’t even tell what he was doing. You moaned in his mouth at the pressure.
Your head was beginning to feel dizzy at the lack of oxygen you were taking in from being too excited to breathe. You had to pull away from him to catch your breath. His chuckles at the sight of your flushed out face, lips plumped out even more, your hair slightly a mess. You were beautiful.
“I need more.” You huffed out, lifting your hips up only to plop back down upon him. He gasps from the movement. “Yeah?” He asks with hooded eyelids, giving your body a once over as he leans back. “Mhm.” You nod your head and then all of a sudden your back was against the bed as Claggor was in between your legs. You squealed out, laughing.
“I don’t have condoms on me.” He suddenly remembers, he goes to get up but you grab the hem of his shirt to stop him. “I’m on birth control.” You say, legs wrapping around his thighs since his waist wasn’t close to you anymore. He smiles eagerly, passionately kissing you.
“Such a pretty girl.” He mutters in your mouth, pulling back. He takes his shirt off and you admire his body as he does so. He had muscle that showed but also such a soft adorned tone. You were obsessed.
And if you weren’t wet before, you definitely were now. You followed suit though, throwing your shirt and bra over your head, throwing it to the ground.
His eyes glued to your chest, a little too long in your opinion as you grew self-conscious. Covering yourself without realizing it. He takes your wrists, pulling them to your sides. “You’re too beautiful to be doing that.” He shakes his head. His hand touches your face, digits trailing down from your jaw to your neck… Lower now as he dances around your nipples before lightly pinching them. You whimper at the feeling causing him to smirk. “They’re sensitive?” He tilts his head and you quietly nod your head.
He chuckles, now doing the same with the other one just to hear the little noises that exit your mouth.
He innately rubs his crotch against yours, pushing up against you. You rut your hips up to meet him, wanting more.
“Please, I want to feel you.” Your hands go to his shoulders, lightly prodding him away. “Alright, I guess I had my fun.” He sighs jokingly, he moves back a bit, repositioning lower on the bed. Once he gets comfortable laying on his stomach, face to face with your clothed pussy his fingers find the top of your shorts. He toys with you, heavily breathing at your core. You wanted to squish your legs together so he’d stop but you resisted. Finally after what felt like minutes to you he tugs your shorts and panties off of you.
“I made you this drenched?” He satirizes, you frown, looking away from him. He snickers at your shy response. His pointer and middle finger pull your lips apart to get an even better view. It caught you off guard from the sudden coldness at your pussy. You gulped down your own saliva that built in your mouth.
Claggor glances up at you as his own mouth watered. Impatient to taste you. His best friend that he had just confessed to. His best friend that likes him in return. He was so worried that you wouldn’t like him and now here you are letting him eat you out.
His tongue lays down flat in between your nub and entrance. His top lip above your clit. You felt his teeth rub against you and you wince in pleasure. And as his muzzle moves, so do you. You felt your body squirm as his movements were intense but so so so satisfactory.
He somehow was paying attention to your clit and your achy hole at the same time. And to be honest he didn’t have a technique he just wanted to taste all your juices.
His tongue slid into your hole for its last time before attaching your nub once again, this time it was for longer. His tongue swiped left and right to up and down. Writing his name at one point and then yours. He felt your thighs closing against his head and your body tensing up.
“H-hah- holy shit, Clag… I’m gonna-” You breathed rapidly, grabbing hold of his short hair and practically yanking at it. He groans in slight pain but keeps his focus on you, only going faster. Your torso trembling upwards. “I’m- I’m cumminngh-guhhh!” You wail, accidentally pushing your hand down on his head, keeping him in place against your pussy.
He doesn’t mind, he feels you twitch on his mouth. All your delicious sap flowing onto his tongue. Your hips rolling throughout your high.
And as it was over all you could do was lay there, letting him go. It was one of your most intense orgasms you’ve had in a while. “Thank you.” He whispers as he gets up to kiss you. “I should be thanking you.” You pant out, his small hands wandering around his torso.
“Mm agree to disagree.” He shrugs, pecking you once more. As his torso goes up your hands slide down back to the bed. He plays with his belt buckle, undoing it. Claggor gets off the bed, letting his pants fall. You eye his boxers that clung to his skin. The noticeable bulge that stuck out. You were ready yet again.
Your own fingers go to your clit, it was now delicate to the touch but you still rubbed it slowly. When he sees you touching yourself he feels his cock jump in its barriers. “Restless so soon?” He beams.
“I need you inside me.” You mewl, spreading your legs even further than before. And just at your movements his boxers were being kicked off his feet. You giggle as he climbs back on the bed. Your eyes stuck on his large member though.
You figured he would be blessed but… blessed was definitely an understatement. You now worried if it would even fit inside you.
“Gosh, you’re too gorgeous for your own good.” He clamps his hand on your jaw, squishing your cheeks making your lips puckered out before he kisses you. As he leaned over his dick laid on your tummy.
“You ready for me?” He quizzes your jaw still captured in his hold. “Yesh, scared ‘s too big thoughh.” You muttered through your squeezed cheeks. He snorts, not expecting that answer. “I promise it will fit. I’ll go slow.” He kisses you again before letting you go.
Your eyes observe as he pumps his dick with his hand with his own spit. His mushroom tip slipping through your folds, hitting your clit a few times. “Are you sure you want this?” He looks you in your eyes. You smile at his question for consent, double checking even though you’ve already came once and pleaded for his cock. “I want this more than anything.” Your hand wraps around his wrist, helping him proceed into you.
He hisses at the feeling of your gummy walls just being around his tip that leaked precum. Your chest heaved up and down with anticipation. “Keep going.” You encouraged with a nod of your head. He listens to your words, inching more and more inside.
As he bottomed out you clamped around him, flinching at the string that you felt at first. Your face contorting slightly. “Are you okay?” His hand caresses your cheek. “Yes, one second though.” You stuck your pointer finger up, you swore you felt every crevice of his cock. He was huge.
“Okay, okay…” You shiver out. “Start moving.”
His hips move away before clicking right back. Your mouth opens at the feeling. Now keeping a steady pace. He grips at your waist, hearing your moans make him want to cum at the spot. Only being in your pussy for two minutes.
“H-harder.” You claw him, trying to keep him as close as possible. Seeing this along with hearing your words his hands lift up your thighs around his shoulders and he presses down closer to you. Now in an anvil position. “Ohmygod!” You shriek, feeling him deeper than he was before. He fucks into you at a harder, faster pace.
Your mouth letting babbles come out, words mashed together and not making any sort of sense. Claggor grunts in your ear each time his skin slaps against yours. Your toes curling above his head.
“Fu-uck meee~” You cry, throwing your head back against the bed. The exhilaration, the adrenaline, the sex of it all filling Claggor’s mind to keep going. Hear your voice lighting a fire in his brain. No other thoughts.
“Gonna cum soon, princess.” His thrusts grow sloppier. “Wa-wait! St… stop!” You cry out, his pelvis immediately hitting a halt against you at your singular word. “What? What happened? You okay? Did I hurt you?” He asks, forgetting what he had just said.
You pause for a moment, taking a quick breather. “I um…” You puff, “want to ride you.” You tell him, propping yourself up on your elbows. He lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding at your words. “Oh okay.” He grasps at his heart, calming down. “What?” You furrow your brows confused.
“I mean, I’d love for you too but you scared me.” He slowly slides out of you, your pussy now clenching around nothing.
“The way you said stop… I don’t know. I blanked.” He rubs the back of his sweaty neck. “Oh, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t exactly get my words out.” You nervously laughed, reminding him of what he was just doing to you. His cheeks blush brighter, not because of embarrassment but because it made him a little proud of himself for pleasuring you so well. That’s all that mattered to him.
You got up to your knees and you led him to sit down by the headboard. His back against the thousands of pillows you have on your bed. “Comfy?” You ask him with a closed eyed smile. He snickers, tugging at your waist to pull you closer to himself. “C’mere.” Was all he said.
You climb back onto his lap. His torso was leaned back so you had a good advantage when riding him. Your feet planted on either side of his hips. Your hands held onto his shoulders as you now stood over his dick. Your lick your lips, practically drooling at the sight. “Help me?” You glance up through your lashes. He smiles, using his left hand to keep his member up for you.
You lower yourself down on him, excited to be filled back up. As your ass fully goes against his thighs you go back up then right back down all in slow movements. He watches as your pussy sucks him in each time again and again.
Then you get bored of yourself, going faster, bouncing on him. Your tits are right in his vision. His hand grabs at both of them as his other is laid on his own stomach, keeping it to himself.
“Too good, ‘s good.” You moan out, gripping his shoulders with each bounce.
The stinging in your thighs were slightly bothering you but you had to keep going. One of your hands that held his shoulders went down to your clit. You rubbed it intensely. “Fuck!” You whisper out, he can tell you’re getting tired fast. He holds onto your hips, helping you go up and down.
Still admiring the way you focus on getting to your release. And all he wants to do is help you get there. “Get on your knees.” He taps against your hips with his pointer finger. “Hu-huh?” You look at him confused. “Just do it.”
You let your feet slide backwards so you were now back on your knees. “There you go, more comfortable?” He asks sincerely. You only nod your head, not rolling your hips on him. He lifts his hips up and slides his body down so it would be more comfortable for him.
You fuck yourself on him. “Ooh, I’m close.” Your voice rings out, Claggor hums in response, feeling his own orgasm coming. “Me too, where do you want me?” He asks, just so he knows before he cums. “Inside, don’t worry.” You pant.
“A-ah, cumming!’ Your nails accidentally dig into his biceps as you feel your release. The pain only brings him over the edge, his jaw slacking as his seed spurts inside you.
You feel the warmness spread within you. Feeling his cock soften inside. You kiss at his chest before laying down on him. Keeping him in place with his dick still stuck within those fluttered walls.
“Fucking hell, Claggor.” You spit out, his arms wrap around you. “You were amazing.” He mumbles. “No, you were.” You lift your head up at him. “That was insane!” You exclaim, accidentally jolting your hips causing him to hiss at the sensitive feeling. “Sorry.” You chuckle.
“It’s okay.” He waves it off. He goes to help you get up but you stop him. “I want to stay like this for a little bit.” You tell him with a heated face. He raises a brow.
“I was hoping for round 2… But I want to feel you grow inside me.” You quietly admit to him. Now it was his turn for his face to heat up.
Flushing as he now replays everything the two of you just did. And you get exactly what you wanted.
#arcane smut#arcane meta#arcane league of legends#arcane spoilers#arcane x reader#arcane#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane s2#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane season 2#claggor smut#claggor x reader#claggor arcane#claggor#arcane claggor#mylo and claggor#mylo#mylo arcane#au#x reader#x fem reader#x female reader#arcane x female reader#x fem!reader#x female y/n#x you smut#smut#mlw smut#reader insert#claggor x you
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Could you please post a vid taught stuffed gut 🥺
It’s feeling really just really big and bloated right now. I’m feeling like an overstuffed sausage in these clothes and how big my gut is.
Ugh these buttons can’t even stay closed before the sheer girth of my gut snaps them back open. Oh well I usually just leave it open so my fat gut can just hang out through the open buttoned shirt anyway 😩
Fuck this gut feels so meaty and sloshy on the couch. Ugh this Halloween I need a pretty princess to just serve me food all day and night until I’m literally begging her to stop the food.
She wouldn’t even have to feed me herself, just putting down a plate of food in front of me would have me pushing myself to stuff it all down with the rest. It’s how much lack of self control I have, that not even feeling uncomfortable from being full is enough to make me want to stop eating.
It’ll just end up with me with food in both hands, a horribly distended bloated ball gut, and me begging with a full mouthful of food to please take the food away, but she’d just happily watching as I groan and moan even more handfuls of food down.
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Matching the Inside
"did I ask about side effects?" "no, but I still think you should hear me out"
Aden sat down to get on Nick's level.
"Listen here lil guy, you are the geeky smart guy, I'm the big guy, I asked you to whip me up something to make me the biggest guy and you said you could, now could you or are you fucking stupid and small?"
"Aden I understand but I still think you want to hear about th-"
"DONT CARE! JUST HAND IT OVER"
Nick sighed and handed over the small vial of green fluid over to Aden.
"Is this all?" Aden grunted.
Aden quickly downed the entire vial and flexed his muscles
"So when does this shit make me bigger?"
"s-soon Aden, just gotta wait a few ho-"
"WOULD YOU JUST FUCK OFF PIPSQUEAK!, if this shit fails I swear to god I'll be the fuck outta you then get my cash back"
Nick quickly left Aden to his own devices, he wasn't the best guy to get along with at the best of times and he didn't want to see how toxic Aden was going to become after an hour or so, but it was on him for not wanting to listen to the warnings...
-----
An hour of hard work had gone by and Aden had barely felt anything, sure he had a nasty pump and his skin felt like it was stretching by the second but nothing more than an unusually good day at the gym, however he did find one thing strange.
Aden was no stranger to sweat, but not normally this much, he was used to seeing his ass imprint when he stood up from the bench but not feeling it running down his body, not feeling it squelch in his shoes as he walked.
One of the gym attendants even asked him to please change his shoes as it was leaving huge sweaty imprints as he walked.
Aden sat down on a bench to catch his breath when he smelt something unbearable, it had to be a gym towel that had fallen behind a piece of equipment and left to reek for god knows how long. As Aden looked around for the source he couldn't find anything but when he lifted his arm he was hit by a wave of warm air that made him turn his nose up
the potent order was coming from him, and boy did he fucking reek.
Aden almost gagged on the stench of his own pits and stood up to grab his stuff to head home.
As he stood up his stomach let out a loud gurgling noise. It set in again, this time stronger and painful. Aden grabbed his stomach with both his hands and moaned and his gut continued to complain.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPP
Aden let out a loud belch that rung out through the entire gym.
"wow, eat too much before the gym big guy haha"
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP
Aden couldn't control it, before he could even respond he had let rip and belched in the guys face.
Multiple people started to call him a gross pig, and he was in too much discomfort to argue, he could barely get a word in before he burped or belched like a stupid brute.
On his way out he stopped at the mirror, his shoulders looked wider, his biceps fuller, his pecs were stretching out his tank like it was nothing, he couldn't help but admire himself, but the admiration quickly faded when his body automatically cocked open his jaw and forcefully rumbled out another masculine belch.
---
Aden had raced home, doing his best to deal with the horrible stench flowing from his body he imminently got in the shower, scrubbing himself for over and hour until there was no trace of BO left on him,
getting out of the shower he constantly sniffed his pits to make sure he smelt clean and fresh, the stench had seemed to vanish and the odd bloating all but gone, now it was time to see if the formula did anything or if he was going to crush Nick's spine with his own hands.
Aden slipped on his favourite pair of underwear and stood in front of his mirror, to his surprise he did actually look bigger, although barely, he had maybe gained a pound or two of muscle, but something looked wrong....
As Aden glanced down his incredible body he noticed his underwear was much flatter than usual, he tried to adjust himself but it felt like there was barely anything to adjust. As he pulled back the waist band he was horrified to see that his incredibly 10inch manhood and shrunken down into a pitiful 3 inches
"w-WHAT THE FUCK" Aden began to panic, his heart racing
Beads of sweat started to form on his forehead and run down his face. As Aden paced around his room he didnt notice all the sweat forming all over his body, that was until the smell set in, when he finally saw himself in the mirror again he was slick from head to toe, droplets of sweat running down him and he stuck, a stench like he had just spent a month working out non stop.
His gut began to grumble once more as the pain set it, this time more intense, like his stomach was being inflated from the inside. Aden moaned and gritted his teeth in pain.
"w..w...what is...happening..tOO MEEE AAGGGHHHUUUUUUU"
Aden watched as his abs turned red and began to expand outwards.
BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP
Aden couldn't help but belch, but it granted him no relief, he watched helplessly as his reflection expanded and grew, sweat dripping off him flooding his floor with a pool of musk and belches escaping him every time he opened his mouth to moan or complain.
-----
A week had gone by since Aden's strange and powerful growth but a lot had changed since then.
In a week he had been banned from almost every gym in town, banned from every restaurant, his car seats had changed colour from the sweat along with every piece of fabric or furniture he owned, on top of which most had broken in some way shape or form.
He couldn't even go to any out door cafe's as he was asked to leave because his terrible BO and constant belches upset the other customers.
Aden had all but ruined his life for muscle and size, still he couldnt help but feel mostly joy when he looked in the mirror, the way his shoulders and traps swallowed his neck, how he couldn't see past his pecs. How only after a week his powerful muscled feet would tear through his shoes. He loved being huge, but he didn't love the side effects.
The belching and stench he had gotten used to but the biggest shock to his system was the hardon he got for guys now, he used to be such a ladies man but now he felt nothing towards women and almost instantly came whenever he saw another bodybuilder flex, but even that he was willing to embrace so long as he could stay this big.
Aden stood in front of his mirror and watched as grey tank slowly turn black as it soaked up his sweat. He picked up a blender from the belch filled with his freshly made shake, he began to guzzle it down like he hadn't eaten in days, the shake spilled out from the sides of his lips, dripped through his beard and onto his tank were it quickly formed prominent stains and marks.
Aden dropped the blender panting for air.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP
His eyes glazed over as he looked at the sweating monster in the mirror. He couldn't help but notice the freak he had become,
grown too big, stretch marks all over his body, sweat and protein staining his clothes, BO so bad he could see it, and one hand pressed on his abs trying to force out another belch.
He finally matched what was on the inside
A total fuckin slob
#male transformation#muscle#muscle transformation#male tf#tf story#transformation#gay transformation#musk#muscle morph
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perv!butcher who gets handsy with you but of course he can, hes the leader!
mdni. DARK CONTENT WARNING, READ MY PINNED POST BEFORE CONTINUING. cw: manipulation, dubiously consensual/non con touching but reader is into it, abuse of power. Choking, somnophilia. Daddy kink. Massive daddy issues and butcher is a father figure to u in this, heavy on the taboo and age diff. <3 im down to make a part 2 to this if ppl are interested too ! w/c: 1.2k
Butcher isn't a nice man. He's ruthless, does what he wants, whenever he wants - he's definitely got some sort of conscience in there, but it's drowned out by the primary emotion that drives him. Lust. It's usually for blood, but this time, it's for you.
A pretty young thing, definitely not dumb but definitely inexperienced. Sometimes you don't know when to shut your mouth, too excitable and bubbly, too full of energy. You mean well, you do. But when Butcher already has a headache, your begging to take temp V is driving him mad.
"I'll be okay, it won't hurt me, I could just have cool powers like you, and it'll be all over the next day! It could really help, we don't know what I'd be able to do and it could be something helpful!"
You're sat next to Butcher on the deflated couch in the pawn shop basement, only the pair of you there. You're sat with your legs crossed facing him, gesturing with your words, while Butcher is sat with his legs spread wide, pinching the bridge of his nose, facing directly ahead at the TV. He sighs, turning his head to look at you.
"Fucccck no. You ain't havin' any, end of story. Give 'ers a bit of peace and quiet, will ya? Me 'ead is banging, yer yapping isn't helping."
"I'm not yapping, I'm trying to help..." You murmur, dejected. You turn to face away from Butcher, frustrated and feeling like he doesn't trust you. He watches as the dull light from the TV illuminates your face, trying so hard to look calm and collected. Butcher sees right through you. He knows you need his approval like air.
Butcher sighs again. He's a horrible, fucked up man. He's about thirty years your senior. Fuck it, he'll blame the V for how he's acting if anyone pulls him up on it. If anyone dares. He's the leader, he can do what he likes.
"Look, c'mere. Ya wanna help? Sit,"
"Sit...?" You meet his eyes, eyebrows furrowed. Butcher is unwavering, and he looks scary. His eye contact is intense, and you choose to look down at his chain and his sweater instead.
"Yeah. Sit. Didn't stutter, did I? C'mere," your gaze follows his hand (so large that it's practically a paw) as he pats his strong upper thigh. Your head and your heart race, and you stay still.
"Isn't that... um... inappropriate?" You've always seen him as a mentor, a leader, a father figure. Of course you've had some thoughts, but you've shoved them down deep enough to silence them. He's practically your dad - and old enough to be, too. This is wrong.
Like a dam breaking, all those thoughts suddenly surface. Flickers of Butcher's strong, veiny hands, his rough lips, his even rougher voice calling you a good girl. Fuck, this is bad.
"Surely is. Stop ya whinin' though and give me what I want, yeah?"
You shakily stand up, nodding. You always want to make him proud, and deep down you know you want this - whatever this is. It could be anything from a cuddle to a punch in the gut. Butcher is a live wire.
You settle yourself in his lap, hovering by putting most of your weight on your white-socked feet still planted on the ground. Up this close, Butcher is all you can smell. Heady, masculine, intense. Like testosterone, sweat, and leather. You know it should gross you out but it doesn't.
Butcher's large arm manhandling you so your back is to his chest makes you gasp. He's overpowering and rough, too strong for his own good, too arrogant and self-serving. His hand wraps around to suddenly grip your throat, feeling your pulse but not choking you. Just holding. Your heart jumps into your throat. He might actually just kill you right here.
"You're nervous. Scared I'm gonna hurt ya, sweetheart? Scared I'm gonna make ya cry?" Your eyes flutter closed, and you nod, terrified. He's whispering into your ear, a dark growl. You can feel his warm breath against your neck, smelling like cigarette smoke and mint. His other arm is around your waist, keeping you close to him. Making it so you can't get away.
"Not gonna hurt ya. You want this too," Butcher takes a deep inhale, nostils flaring and eyes fluttering shut. The V has given him an increased sense of smell, and with your legs slightly spread, he can smell exactly what you've been desperate to hide.
"Yeah, you want this too. Can smell ya dripping. This little cunt want daddy, yeah?" Butcher laughs cruelly when his words make your breath stutter and a new gush of wetness to soak your panties, intensifying the smell of pussy that is driving him mad. He takes another deep inhale, and you try to shut your legs, only for Butcher to force them back open with a heavy palm, slapping the soft jiggle of your thigh through your cargos. Mean.
"No, no. No, no, baby, nuh uh. Nope. Don't fuck me about. You're on my team, and you're mine. You want a daddy? I'll be your daddy," you shake your head no, and Butcher coos.
"No? Don't want a daddy?"
"Don' want any daddy, want you," you whisper. "'S always been you."
He groans and adjusts you in his lap so you're even closer to him, and his lips are on your neck by his fingers, just resting. You can feel him now, hard against your ass. Fuck, either he's carrying a gun in his pants, or he's huge.
"Thaaat's right. Always been me. Picked ya up off the street, ya own dad ain't know how to treat ya. I do though. Know what brats like you need," his hand on your throat tightens, cutting off the circulation to your head and making you go dizzy. His lips move up, his tongue softly licking that spot where your neck meets your jaw.
"Need an older man to look after you. Need a good stuffin' to stop you gettin' all gobby. You've been giving me such a headache, princess. Gonna fuck that mouth outta ya. Just gotta have you passed out for it, yeah?"
You struggle to breathe, panicking. Passed out? Why? Your eyes start to flutter closed and Butcher's voice starts to echo in your head, feeling both a million miles away and right inside the pulse of your clit at the same time.
"Stupid lil cunt for daddy. Ya won't be able to take me when you're awake, so I just gotta force it while you're out... sleep now, sweetheart. Shhh." he coos as your vision goes spotty, and you go limp in his lap. Once he's sure you're out cold, he lays you down on the couch, and gets to work using you just how he's always wanted.
He's a deeply fucked up man, but it's not his fault you make such a perfect daddy's girl.
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It’s an incessant knocking that pulls him from the fragile sleep he’s managed to get himself into, barely tugging on the balaclava before he opens the door, damn the risks, if someone wants to kill him at his own front door, he’ll let them. That is until he cracks the metal door from the frame and sees her standing there in her nightclothes, tear-streaked face in the cool Birmingham night.
He opens the door for her. “What are you doing here? Where are the children?”
“Left them with Denise.”
Denise. The only babysitter he approved of to watch his newborn daughter and six-year-old son.
“What’s going—”
She isn’t even two steps inside the apartment and she’s falling into his arms, dry sobs escaping her throat as she cries, “He’s gone, Simon. He’s gone.”
His eyes widen, she’s just now finally coming to terms with the fact that she buried her husband two days ago. Once a proud army wife, now a frenzied, exhausted widow, unsure how to raise two children by herself and go on.
“He’s gone. John’s—oh God, Simon, he’s dead.” She stares at him wide-eyed and gutted. “My John, he’s, he’s gone.” She cried out all her tears a few days ago when they first showed up at her door, and he watches as she raises her hands to her face, fingers caged around the sides of it as she sobs, “He’s gone, Simon. What am I going to do?” She’s working herself into a grief-driven anxiety attack. “What am I gonna do? How am I going to raise our—our children, oh, Simon, she’ll never know him.”
Tears finally come to her eyes, and she stares up at him in his arms.
“My sweet Morrigan will never know him,” she whimpers. “Oh, my sweet girl. She’ll never know how much he loved her.”
“She does,” he says, and he takes her chin in her hand. “Now you’ve gotta stop this. You can’t do this. You have to get it together.”
“But he—”
“Johnny’s dead. But your children need you. JJ and Morrigan need you.” It’s harsh but it dries up her tears as she stares at him with a pitiful look.
“I can’t do this alone,” she whispers. “I need him. He…John made it better. He always made it better. Without him…” she gazes at him. “What am I supposed to do, Simon? I’m all alone.”
“You’re a fool to believe that,” he replies and pulls her close; he misses his best friend too, unable to stop the tears that come to his eyes. He inhales shakily, feeling dampness grow in his sweatshirt, remembers how he had to sit down and explain to little JJ that his dad was gone. How he made a six-year-old boy promise to be strong and be the man of his home and watch his sister and mum, while the child in Simon was grieving the exact same thing.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers into her hair. “C’mon love, I got you,” he says, holding her tight as she breaks down into sobs again.
***
It’s horrible. His best friend hasn’t even been dead for a week and already Simon can’t help but feel his heart yearn for her. It’s a little cliché, laying the sleeping widow in his bed, smoothing her hair as be bends down and kisses her forehead. There’s something about the way her tear-stained cheeks glisten in the moonlight but he looks away and grabs the pillow from the other side of the bed and a blanket from the closet before he lays out on the floor beside her. Her hand falls over the side of the bed, and damn Simon’s soul, forgive me, Johnny, he props his elbow up and takes her hand, gently squeezing it in his large one, feeling her faintly squeeze back.
Strongest soldier you’ll ever meet, tough as nails, hard as steel.
But at Simon’s core, he is, a weak, weak man.
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader imagines#simon ghost riley x reader imagine#simon ghost riley imagines#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x reader imagines#simon riley x reader imagine#simon riley imagines#simon riley imagine#simon riley#ghost x reader#ghost x reader imagines#ghost x reader imagine#ghost imagines#ghost imagine#ghost#john soap mactavish x reader#john soap mactavish x reader imagines#john soap mactavish x reader imagine#john soap mactavish imagines#john soap mactavish imagine#john soap mactavish#john mactavish x reader#john mactavish x reader imagines#john mactavish x reader imagine#john mactavish imagines#john mactavish imagine#john mactavish
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Caerulea
Yandere vampire Gojo x reader
This has been in my drafts since forever.
Synopsis: you see a peculiar man at a party and meet him again when you’re on your way home
Masterlist
Warnings: biting, drugging, lemme know if I’m missing something
Word count: 1561
Ice blue eyes had been following you around the entire evening. Their colour outstanding and alluring, as if they were able to cast a spell upon you that lured you in. They were eerie. The owner of said eyes was a tall man with hair as with a snow. His face was excruciating handsome to the point he looked otherworldly.
His lips twisted up into a playful smile. Revealing pearly white teeth. When he widened his smile as he chuckled, you could see his pointy canines. He winked and disappeared into the crowed. How he managed that was truly a mystery for a man his size.
The night was filled with laughter and horrible music. As the party started to near its end, you decided to venture home. You had only had two glasses to drink and you weren’t drunk. Which was something you probably would be grateful tomorrow morning. You had felt that it would be unwise to drink when you made eye contact with the white haired man. Why you weren’t sure, but you knew well enough to trust your gut.
The streets were empty save from some drunk business men and a couple of students. The asphalt was wet from the earlier rain making the light from the neon signs that adorned the many buildings, reflecting in the water like liquid gemstones. Tokyo really was a beautiful city. A taxi drove by causing water from the puddles to splash onto your clothing. You cursed after it in anger.
A gachapon machine caught your eye. You had been on the lookout for a new Sanrio keychain.
You inserted some coins and turned the wheel. Out popped a light pink plastic ball. You opened it with eagerness. My Melody. You smiled as you studied the little pink keychain.
The sound of footsteps snapped you out of your little trance. You turned around and you almost dropped your keychain at the sight of the white haired man. His pale eyes scanning your features. Emotions you couldn’t place swirled within his eyes.
“Cute keychain” his voice playful.
“Thank you” your voice low. Your eyes darted across the street. The man in front of you have you a bad feeling and you wanted nothing more than to leave.
As if noticing your discomfort he spoke. “I take it that you’re heading home?” he took a step closer. “So am i” his eyes almost hypnotising you in their endless blues.
You knew you should’ve just kept quiet and walked away, but something compelled you to answer him truthfully. “Yeah I am” you couldn’t avert your gaze form his.
His smile widened. “Want to walk together? It gets dangerous at night , you know” his grin sharp. “I am Gojo Satoru, but you can call me Satoru” he winked.
“Okay… I am [Name]” you forced a smile. He didn’t comment on you not sharing your last name, but his eyes narrowed slightly in disappointment.
“What a beautiful man” he hummed. His hand snaked around yours as he dragged you away from the gachapon machine. His hold on you tight.
You two walked down the street in silence. You had asked him how he knew to way to your home, but he only brushed you off. Your intuition told you to not question him further. His hold on your arm didn’t waver one bit.
The sky suddenly opened and rain poured down on the street. Satoru quickly dragged you underneath the roof of a bus shed. “My place isn’t too far away” his eyes flickered to your neck and then back up.
You hesitated. It was not wise to follow a stranger to his home and especially when he gave off such unnerving vibes. “I’m not too sure if I should…”
At your hesitation his eyes darkened. “Why not? You’ll get sick out here. Plus it’s only till the rain stops” he pulled you closer. Too close. You could feel his breath fan against your face.
You swallowed as you weighed your possibilities.
“Come oooon… I can make you some hot chocolate if you would like? I really pride myself with being the best hot chocolate maker I know” he chuckled. His blue eyes glinting with mischief.
You couldn’t help but giggle at his weird comment. “Hot chocolate does sound good…” you were quite cold even though it was summer. The rain that poured endless only made you shiver more.
You don’t know how he managed to fully convince you, but he did. His flat was a penthouse and huge. It was filled with different luxuries and beautiful paintings adorned the walls. The interior was a fine mixture of traditional Japanese design and dark classical style. In a way he had made it work, and beautifully so.
Satoru was busy making hot chocolate while you took in your surroundings. You hadn’t asked what his profession was and you wondered that maybe he was one of those who didn’t have to work.
“Here you go” his jovial voice snapped you out of your thoughts.
Satoru had made two cups with hot chocolate topped with cream and marshmallows. It smelled heavenly and you couldn’t help but sigh. “It looks so good!”
He chuckled as he clinked his mug against yours. You took a sip and your senses was overwhelmed by the delicious taste. It was truly the best hot chocolate you had ever had.
“Wow! This is amazing!” your tongue darted out to lick away the cream that had formed on your upper lips.
The white haired man chuckled at you excitement as he took a sip himself. “I am glad you liked it. As I said, I am truly the best hot chocolate maker” he winked playfully.
“Your flat is really nice” you waved your hand in the air.
His smile widened and your eyes caught what resembled sharp fangs. “Thank you. It’s one of my prized possessions” his voice melodic and his charm otherworldly.
Before you knew it your mug was empty and you were feeling rather sluggish. You and Satoru had talked about all and nothing and he was exceptionally easy to talk with.
Your eyes felt heavy and you leaned your head against your arm that rested on the kitchen table. Your back fell limp against the kitchen chair and the last you saw before your mind slipped into unconsciousness was the icy eyes of Satoru.
Your eyes fluttered open at the feeling of a cold breath fanning over your neck. You were met with the sight of snow white hair that tickled your cheek. Satoru. You suddenly snapped out of your haziness as you sat up in what you now noticed was his black couch.
He laughed softly against your neck. “You finally regained your senses, huh? Good. I want you to be awake” his voice deep.
You blinked in confusion at his words. “What is going on? What are you doing?” anxiety laced in your words.
Satoru slowly rose his head. His eyes boring into yours with a whirlpool of emotions. “You are so adorable when confused. Ya know when I saw you tonight, I had to use all my strength to hold back. It’s really dangerous going around and being so goddamn cute. So careless” he sighed with a lazy smile. His large hand gently cupped your cheek. His thumb ran over your slightly trembling lips.
“Sator-”
“Shushhhhh” he pressed his thumb hard on your lips.
With a blink of an eye he pinned you flat against the couch, his mouth hovering over you neck. Your heart was beating fast as you cried out.
“Don’t worry darling. I mean you no harm. If I did you wouldn’t have found yourself here. If anything I am more like your guardian angel” he smiled down at you with a gentle smile that almost made you forget everything.
You could hear him inhale which was accompanied by a sigh. “God you smell so good…” his voice a low groan.
“What are you doing?” your voice was weak with panic laced within each word. You were shivering as you tried to regain your strength.
“Something I have wanted to do for months” he chuckled slightly.
A sudden pain exploded your nerves as he dug his fanged teeth hard into your neck. You cried out as you tried to push him away. You could feel him sucking your blood from your wound. It was a feeling you had never experienced.
Gojo chuckled at your attempts of pushing him off. “There’s no way you would ever manage to push me off. Though I must say your attempts are rather cute” he said before he dove back in with his teeth.
He drank from you for what felt like an eternity. After a while he slowly pulled away. His icy eyes looked back at you with hooded lids as he wiped away the blood that coated his chin with the back of his hand. “You taste so much better than what I imagined” he sighed as he licked his lips.
A cold hand stroked your cheek in a soothing manner. “To think that I almost let somebody else have you… Now that would just be foolish” he tilted his head.
“I should just keep you here. For all eternity. Wouldn’t that be lovely?” his smile soft and his eyes filled with love that ran deeper than the deepest sea.
#male yandere#yandere#yandere male#yandere male x reader#yandere jjk#yandere jjk x reader#yandere jujutsu kaisen x reader#yandere jujutsu kaisen#yandere x reader#yandere gojo satoru x reader#yandere gojo x reader#yandere gojo#jjk x reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#yandere satoru gojo#yandere gojo satoru#gojo x reader#x reader#vampire gojo#yandere vampire#yandere vampire gojo
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30 / 1.1k / soap soulmate au, part 7
...
The minutes tick by. You're alone with your thoughts. It's worse than before. But what are you supposed to tell him? All but the smallest thing you could give him would lead his entire team to Captain Graves, and you... you can't do that. You owe him a debt.
The door slams open and Soap walks back in, looking tired and angry. Before you can speak, he grabs you by the arm, drags you out of your chair, and then he's kissing you, pressing you up against the wall. His hands are in your hair and on your hips, his hard body against yours, his teeth finding the place where your neck meets your shoulder.
Everything about it is possessive, angry, desperate. One hand slides around to your ass. The other weaves tighter into your hair, holding you tight between him and the wall, his hips grinding into yours.
"Thought I was gonna have to wait till you stopped being so damn stubborn. You were never going to tell me, were you?" His soft growl is low, heated, and hurt. "You’re always gonna keep this to yourself. Even if it means letting me go to my grave."
He pulls you away from the wall and pushes you into the metal interrogation table with enough force to put you on your back. He advances on you. Straddles you. His mouth is hot and he's not giving you time to think. He's taking what he needs because he wants it, he's tired of waiting for it, and he's finally got you where he wants you. His teeth on your throat have you arching your back. His grip is tight but you don't want to escape.
His fingers dig into you. "Will you even miss me?"
You open your eyes, jolting in place. A dream, it was a dream. You're still cuffed to this stupid chair. You're hot and wet and there's a horrible knot in your throat.
The door slides open. That's what woke you--activity outside. A few people filter into the weapons closet briefly to grab rifles and sidearms. They hardly spare you looks. They leave; the voices outside begin to fade and you hear an engine firing up. Muted panic rises in your gut. They're about to leave. Are they leaving you here? Is Johnny gone already?
Then the door rattles softly and Johnny's familiar shape slips in. He glances back out the door, watching for anyone who might’ve seen him slip in before he closes it. You release a breath through gritted teeth.
"Mornin’.” Soap is suited up, radioed, armed to the teeth. Looking every inch the soldier he is. Your heart sinks. You're in deep. No matter how this situation turns out, it's not good for you. Whoever wins, you lose.
Instead of taking the chair, he circles behind you. You rattle your cuffs as he leaves your line of sight.
"Change your mind?" he asks you.
"No."
He chuckles. "Thought not."
He bends closer. Your heart races. You half-expect to feel his hands--your dream flashes through your mind--but then, to your surprise, you hear the soft clink of metal on metal. He pulls on the cuffs. One falls away. Then the other.
You get to your feet, curling and uncurling your fingers. "Why are you letting me go?" you ask, voice still sharp. "I told you I'm not helping you."
Soap looks bemused. It's like you don't know how to stop being belligerent even when you're not a hostage anymore. "Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. I’m under strict orders not to let you leave this room. But if you just so happen to vanish..." He holds up the key--the one he'd swiped from Ghost earlier. "That’d be fine with me.”
“What are you playing at?”
“There's a chance none of us will come back. Don't like the idea of you sittin' here like a rabbit in a trap for God knows how long." He holds out a neat little square of folded cash. When you don't take it, he reaches around and slips it into your back pocket. "There's a town four miles southwest of here. Set off in a half hour and you’ll get there before sundown. Take somethin' off the wall to protect yourself."
You stare at him, your frustration growing with every word he says. Why does he trust you enough to free you? Why? He knows very well you could pick up the first phone you see, call your Captain, and tell him everything. Hell, you could call Shepherd.
You tried your dead fucking best to show him who you are. Why doesn't he believe you? Does he think you're going to grab his hand and ask him to come with you--fuck the Shadows, fuck Las Almas, you know how to buy fake IDs and burner phones, you'll figure it out a day at a time?
Your throat tightens. You could obviously never say that. And if you did consider it, you'd bite your tongue because there's no way he'd accept. You have so much to gain from running away and he has too much to lose. He cares about his team too much.
He skims his gloved fingertips up your arm and goes to touch your cheek again, but then he hesitates and stops himself. You feel radioactive.
"How 'bout a kiss for the road?" he asks. He seems to decide on taking a strand of your hair and places it tentatively behind your ear. "Just in case."
Your hands tighten into fists. How dare he.
"Aw, c'mon. Don't make me walk away from you disappointed." He gives you a small, infuriating smile.
"If you want a kiss, then come back for it when you're done."
"Ah. Fair enough."
He brings his hands up to the sides of your face and presses his lips to your hairline anyway, leaning into you for a long, silent moment.
Then he's gone.
…
You sit cross-legged on that table for a long stretch of time, spinning in one hand the handcuffs that held you. You stare at that photograph and count the seconds. At thirty minutes, you set off, walking southwest.
...
part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / [part 7] / part 8 / part 9 / part 10 / part 11 / part 12
more Soap / masterlist tag
#soulmate soap#mine#story#soulmate au#fem reader#john soap mactavish#johnny soap mactavish#soap cod#johnny mactavish#soap mactavish#soap x reader#x reader#soap x you#johnny mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish x you#cod#cod x reader#call of duty#call of duty x reader#cod mw2#cod mwii#tf 141#tf 141 x reader
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—————————— ⋆。°౨ৎ°。⋆ —————————
title : “you weren’t supposed to find out this way..”
warnings : none!!
luke castellan + reader
a/n : yes a sad imagine for my first post 😣
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you weren’t supposed to find out this way, luke had never planned for you to find out this way, to see him completely flip out on percy, to see him such a wreck. you were supposed to find out with him talking to you about it saying something among the lines of “i want you to join me.” but instead you found out is such a horrible heart wrecking way.
you were just following annabeth since clarisse (gf mentioned) had gone to her cabin which a few friends completely uninterested in celebrating percy who she envied, you heard a loud yell of pain with the sound of metal clashing looking at annabeth you two quickened your pace when you saw percy and luke fighting? you were confused until you heard Luke trying to convince percy to leave camp with him ‘why would luke want to leave camp??’ your thoughts consumed of the possibilities for answers but that was when luke raised his sword at percy and you knew you had to speak up and save him despite being lost for words your tounge almost incapable of moving you let out the name of the boy who had left you confused. “luke?”
it was barley audible but loud enough for both percy and luke to turn their heads to annabeth and you luke’s eyes had softened in realization the beings that meant so dearly to him bringing him back from his outburst. “annabeth..”
was the first thing he said before looking to see you the tears were brimmed in your eyes just like his (TWININGGG) his demeanor was changed from before when you found the two boys fighting “we heard everything.”
annabeth spoke her voice rough her tone so different from how she would normally use to the boy who practically raised her and cared for her, her older brother. lukes attention drew to you once again seeing the hurt expression
“sweetheart..” he let out stepping closer to you to which you backed up from him in fear as he reached his hand out to you. a tear escaped from his soft brown eyes realizing that his worst nightmare had come true. his girlfriend and his darling little sister were afraid of him, annabeth looked at you before going to percy helping him.
“you weren’t supposed to find out this way.” his voice breaking he wanted to come closer to you but stopped himself seeing how fearful you were without saying it he could just see it in your eyes, the way your beautiful eyes that he loved staring into had trailed over his face, orbs shaking he hated seeing you like that. he rarely ever did but when you were it hurt to see but this time was different from those other times, instead of you being afraid of the wars you were scared of him.
“i trusted you luke.” you let out and hearing those words it was like a punch in the gut he regretted not telling you sooner like he planned. “was everything you said a lie? is this relationship a lie? do you even love me?” hearing your heart broken voice shattered him to pieces he was disappointed in himself for making you doubt his love for you.
“no, no.. baby of course i love you i only ever lied to you about this i promise. i’m so sorry.” he cried only getting closer to you without realizing it. he had brought up a hand to your cheek running his thumb over the soft skin looking down at you he knew what he soon had to do and it pained him to leave like this he wanted to beg for you to come with him, beg for your forgiveness, beg for you to join him but it was no use seeing the fear and hurt in your eyes he knew he cut you too deep. he turned his attention from you to annabeth who was currently holding percy up his arm around around her waist luke took a deep breath.
“i love you.” he brought a soft kiss to your temple before he was gone, he ran off inside the portal he opened leaving you hurt and upset.
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a/n: i literally hate this but kinda love it, dk how to feel. i didn’t know how to end this so sorry if its bad but hope you enjoyed! and feel free to give feedback back !!
this scene broke me m still in shock, leah, walker and charlie acted SO WELL in this scene like rent was DUE
#luke castellan#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan angst#light angst#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo series#charlie bushnell#charlie bushnell x reader#im cryin
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im begging for a fic with ellie about tribbing i don't even care about the plot at this point i just an ellie fic with scissoring
━ 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀, 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ?
𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, ex gf!ellie, angst here and there, SMUT, tribbing, kissing/make out session, lowkey toxic behavior, mentions and situations with alcohol, both ellie and reader are tipsy, party environment in the first 1/2, top!ellie, bottom!reader
𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope
𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - ehhehehehehe i love olivia rodrigo so i had to bruh REQUESTS ARE OPEN NOW!
REBLOG MY WORK! I WORK HARD & IT'S APPRECIATED!!
Music bumped in the room on the other side of the wall that supported the upper cabinet that held your head. The smell of sweat, alcohol and cigarettes filled up the small kitchen to the brim while a few people laughed and chugged the concoction in the punch bowl that sat on the corner countertop.
Other than the patrons drinking themselves into a very horrible morning that was soon to come, there was a couple making out against the fridge. Bothering anyone that wanted to drink something other than what the party host called, 'the ultimate punch to the gut' that the college boys were frothing over.
You decided on something else that you'd scavenged from the liquor cabinet that had been broken into earlier in the night. The liquid a pink color, bubbling from the continued sloshing in your red solo cup that was lazily hanging from your hand.
Your head felt dizzy at all the uproar in the room, the only thing keeping your two feet flat on the ground was the girl in front of you. Chasing your gaze with her head that way with each direction you looked, her eyes weren't far behind to follow.
"I told you I'm done, Ellie. I'm sick of your shit." You slurred slightly, having swayed your hips on far too many people and had too many drinks to care about how you currently sounded.
Or looked for that matter, lipstick smudged across your lips and even had made its way off your mouth. Eye makeup mirroring the appearance of the lower half of your face and all the while your dress was halfway up your thighs from her prying and your continuous attempts to stop yourself from making a decision you'd regret.
"You're a fakeass bitch, y'know that?" You pointed at her, the manicure that she had in fact paid for practically mocking her as she grabbed your hand and pushed it down, holding it in her own.
"Don't be like that, babe." You rolled your eyes at just the sound of her voice, suddenly hearing it and comparing it to the biggest annoyance in the world. "You were like that first, or did you already discard the lap warmer you were entertaining when I walked in?"
Right, the bottle blonde with the bad roots.
"Y/n..." She dragged out your name with that excruciating tone that made you feel like you'd done something bad. "Answer me Ellie."
She opened and closed her mouth for a second, not meeting your eyes before shrugging her shoulders. The black fabric of her long sleeve button up going with, pissing you off even more as the realization set in that she'd worn your favorite of her nice shirts and even undone the top few buttons you always undid for her.
"She's one of Abby's friends, fuck Y/n, I don't even know her name I promise." You scoffed, leaning your head back on the cupboard, looking over at the drunk guys challenging each other to drink a full cup of the punch once again.
"You piss me off." You rubbed your eyes, not caring of the slight burn that your lashes caused on your irises. "I know. C'mon, I said sorry." She said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"You sent me fifty-eight text messages, I don't remember there being a 'sorry' in there though." "Babe-" Ellie stopped when she realized you were in fact not paying any attention to her now, looking out the kitchen window, but it was too dark to actually see anything past the glass.
"C'mon... let's just go home, I'll give you the best apology fucking ever." The alcohol really boosted her confidence as she said this, Ellie moving to kiss up your neck as you thought, her thumb coming to wipe the smeared lipstick away.
"I promise, babe." You wanted to fall against her and give in, just how you wanted when you seen her earlier eye-fucking you from across the room. Fucking hell you were such a gullible mess.
"Ellie..." "Can't tell me you don't miss my fingers..." "Shh!"
You tried covering her mouth but it was no use as she just laughed, looking down at your pretty eyes while you tried to shut her up.
"I don't, mine work just fine, actually." Such fakeness followed those syllables, even you cringed slightly on the inside as you spoke them.
"Huh, so you're lying to me now too?"
"No..." Yes.
"You're a bad liar." She then whispered, impossible to hear her if you had not been so close to her mouth. "You're a dickhead." You then replied, giving her a smile while pulling back.
That was nothing to her, leaning forward despite your unwillingness just earlier, but something about the way you met her lips wondered if you changed your mind.
She tasted like the shitty alcohol mix those dudes were chugging along with soaked in Chapstick and the two combined creating a rush of memories that came trickling back. Those pictures soon invading your mind all the same, fingers wrapping around her belt loops before you got a chance to stop them.
And in the haze of the smoky kitchen you broke your promise to each of your friends promising you wouldn't go back. Tugging her closer and allowing her to rest her hands beneath your ass, holding the backs of your thighs to get impossibly closer.
She was your everything and nothing, the mess stuck between your floorboards that you could never fully get rid of. Ellie knew she wasn't going anywhere, she couldn't and wouldn't be replaced and it was comforting, smirking as she began pushing herself against you and hitting your hips against the counter.
"M'not-" A kiss. "-gonna fuck you-" Another kiss. "-here." You finished, her tongue invading your mouth as soon as the final breath passed your lips. "Why not?" "Seriously?" Ellie rested her forehead against your own, huffing like a child until you tapped her phone that was in her back pocket.
"You can start your apology by buying the ride home, 'kay?"
God, the things she did to see you as you were now, laid back on the bed with your dress pulled up and your head resting against her pillows. Thighs spread all for her while you stared up and watched her unbuckle her belt and unzip her jeans. Wanting nothing more than to have her between your thighs
You just looked so gorgeous in the lamplight, the yellow glow kissing your skin and she moved to kiss it as well. Wanting just as much as the inanimate object had gotten in the past few moments.
"M'gonna be so mad at myself in the morning." You grumbled playfully, Ellie watching you grin at your own prediction, returning the smile while throwing her shirt away and exposing her torso for you to run your eyes over. "But I don't even care." You concluded.
Your nail ran along the light bulge her muscles created on her arms, eyes fluttering shut while her lips made their home on your neck. Jaw becoming her favorite place to hover, smirking against your flesh when you giggled that it had tickled. Looking at the way her boxers met her lower back, little dimples just barely shadowed.
"Ellie?" She pulled back to look at you, cradling your face in her hands.
"Yeah?"
"Unzip me, I wanna feel you."
She didn't have to be told twice, helping you from your dress before tossing it to find the next morning. Your undergarments going with, swept away like they were stolen by the ocean. Your body running against hers as if you were the waves and she were the rocks, though less jagged then you'd like to admit out loud.
Her curves were softer than you remembered despite feeling them just days ago, along with her freckled skin.
"I want you." She whispered, mouth brushing against the shell of your ear.
Your friends were so gonna put you in time out.
Her boxers fell down her legs and yours wrapped around her hips, waiting for the agonizing thumping of your arousal to be put at ease. The discomfort growing while her fingers ran along your nipple, warm breath fanning your face as you both watched her hand run along your boob.
It was like the air paused along with your movements, sucking in a gasp as she played with your breast. Hand trickling down between your legs just to barely tease you.
"You wanna feel me?" You nodded at her question, moving your head up and down again and again while she lined herself up with you. Fingers lightly, just barely, brushing against your little, yet swollen, clit.
"Need to hear you say it again, Y/n."
"I wanna feel you, Ellie."
And before you knew it she was humping herself against you, not even attempting to muffle your sounds which you'd given up caring about. Grabbing at her back and holding her as close to you as possible while her clit bumped and rubbed against your own.
It felt like fireworks, despite having done this just over a million times. Burying your face in her neck while she fucked into you over and over, promising her love silently while whispering things that would make a catholic mother weep.
"Missed you so much..." You turned your head, meeting her eyes as your lips did the same. "Me or this?" You asked, a choked whimper following when she became rougher at the sound of your falsely innocent question. Her hand trapping your leg on the bed as she spread you apart.
"Both, but mainly you." She played off, her other hand softly wrapping around your neck. "I would hope." You giggled, mouth dropping agape as her pace picked up. The whole bed rocking back and forth while simultaneous creaks that were sure to piss off her neighbors for the next however long she spent on top of you.
"Oh fuck, El... fuck please..." You squeezed and clawed at her, sure to leave red marks on her pale skin for her to be teased about when she went to the gym. Cunts grinding back and forth creating a heavenly feeling you just couldn't describe, choking out noise after noise.
"El... m'gonna- fuck I- fuck..." She kissed along the column of your throat, squeezing just the slightest. "I know." From your hole to your bundle of nerves, in your slightly inebriated state it felt like too much.
Sounds you weren't aware you could make falling from your mouth, and you were sure you heard her lightly grunt. Hips stuttering as you'd begun to jerk against her pussy, letting out a yelp while you trickled into your orgasm.
A mix of both you and her dripping down your ass, but it didn't stop you from trying to meet her thrusts. Crying a bit when she slammed you back down, kissing you and then down your chest.
"Leah's gonna be so pissed at me." You huffed, staring up at the ceiling as she peeled herself off of you and fell to the side. Giving you the option of moving to lay with her or finding your way the hell out of here.
"Who cares? Come ride me." She said, sitting up against her pillows that laid against her headboard. "Seriously?' You tilted your head up to glance at her, giving her your best unimpressed expression.
"What? Can't take it back anyway."
This was a bad idea, right?
"Will you eat me out after?" You asked, tilting your head and then rolling over to make your way up to her. "If you do a good job." She said, setting her hands on your hips.
Fuck it, it's fine.
a/n: YES I KNOW THAT SHE'S MY EX BUT CAN'T TWO PEOPLE RECONNECT I ONLY SEE HER AS A FRIEND! BIGGEST LIE I EVER SAID.
REQUESTS OPEN
#ellie williams smut#ellie the last of us#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#tlou2#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams tlou#ellie smut#tlou smut#nevy writes
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no body, no crime | Coriolanus Snow | xii. {END}
Your childhood friend returns from his exile in district 12, but he's not the sweet, quiet boy you once knew anymore.
Warnings: NON-CON, Plinth!Reader, Gaslighting, Drugging, Murder, Forced Marriage, Forced Pregnancy, Loss of Virginity, Somnophilia
This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.
𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙
Your nerves stir as William considers you in silence. It’s all he’s done for the last few agonizing minutes, stare at you without uttering a single word. Perhaps you’ve shared too much? Overestimated how much he could take? You’ve told him everything, not skipping over any detail as he asked. How Coriolanus lured you into his web. Weaved a myriad of honeyed lies you naively fell for. Coaxed you into staying with him. Planted a seed that will soon grow into a permanent reminder of all he did to you.
The whole, plain horrible truth.
Much as it ached to tell the story, and relive it in a way, you were thorough and concise. Your voice may have wavered a little, your eyes evaded William’s at times, but now he has the full story.
And he’s free to do as he pleases with that knowledge.
“William?” you inquire again.
This time he swallows a deep breath. Fearful expectancy knots your gut. He clenches his fists and bolts to his feet.
“I’m going to kill him.”
You wedge yourself between him and the door as he takes long, determined strides toward the exit.
“Wait!” you urge, panic trembling through your voice.
William scoff, a frown marring his brow.
“What? You want to protect him? After everything he’s done to you?”
Your lips tighten. A surge of tears fights its way past your lids but you suppress them. Too much is at stake for you to crumble right now. You straighten your spine and lift your chin.
“It’s not that. Of course I don’t care what happens to him but…” You place your hands on his forearms. He seems to relax at your touch and a sliver of relief leaks inside your chest. Perhaps there is still hope for you and William. “He’s dangerous, William. Cunning, slippery. Like a snake.”
His jaw clenches. “We’ll see about that when I have my fist in his throat.”
He tries to move forward but you keep firmly blocking his path. Once again, you try to reason with him. “No, he really is…deranged.” No other word arises in your mind. You shudder as you recall the glint of madness in his blue eyes. “He has my parents under his spell. I really don’t think he’ll stop at anything to get his way.” Your mouth quivers. “He’ll hurt you.”
“Let him try,” William grumbles, clenching his fists.
Rage oozes off him, coating the air. You feel its intensity in your very bones. When he said he wanted to kill Coriolanus, it wasn’t a metaphor. It’s how furious your fiancé is after hearing your story.
“William, no…For me. Let it go.” You grab his hands, bringing them to your face. They slowly loosen, his gaze softening as it rests on you. “Let’s just leave. I know I’m asking for a lot. Asking you to raise another man’s child-”
He cradles your face. “It doesn’t matter. It’ll be our child. They won’t even have to know his name.”
You drape your hands over his, emotion making your voice waver.
“You really mean that?”
His thumbs sweep over your cheek.
“Of course. I made a promise to you.” He smiles. “And I never stopped loving you.”
You suck in a sharp breath. “Even after everything?”
A glimpse of sadness crosses his features.
“It hurt. Of course, it hurt. But there’s no other girl than you for me, and there never will be.” Overwhelmed, you stare at him a long time, basking in his bottomless devotion. How did you end up so lucky? Even after all the misfortune you suffered, amidst your woe, you still found William. A love as rare and pure as a pearl lost in the ocean.
You get on your tiptoes to press your lips over his. At first, it’s tentative. You’re wondering if perhaps it’s too soon, if he’s truly forgiven you. But your doubts evaporate as he eagerly returns the kiss. Your heart swells. He cups your cheeks and you melt against him, soaking his scent and the familiar taste of his skin. You could cry. You missed him so much. For the first time in weeks, air finds a home in your lungs again.
When your lips part, he leans his forehead against yours. For a while, you just revel in each other’s presence, warm breaths mingling in the cool air.
“So what’s the plan?” he asks, his knuckles skimming down your neck. “You…do have a plan, right?”
Taking a deep breath, you stand up straight.
“I’m thinking we hitch a late night train to District 2. There’s a weapons shipment tonight.” You grimace. “My dad, h-he sends them to the Peacekeepers garrisons there.” Every time you remember the part your father plays in keeping people in the Districts cowered and afraid of the Capitol’s wrath, you feel sick. This is who the man who raised you has become. Someone who turns a blind eye to his own people’s suffering. It makes you wonder if maybe he and Coriolanus are cut from the same cloth after all. Both of them opportunists. Both of them eager to step over everything and everyone to further their goals. Your father gives the Capitol the ammunition it needs to terrorize. And Coriolanus fuels them with ideas to keep that terror alive.
“We could head South, start a new life there,” William suggests.
You blink in surprise. This is a drastic decision, one you never expected to hear leave his lips.
“You mean, leave Panem?”
“Why not? There is nothing for us here. I don’t think there ever was.”
“You’d be leaving your family and friends behind William. A-Are you sure?”
He sends you a warm smile, rubbing your arms.
“You’re my family. You’re all I need.”
Your heart flutters, a fresh breeze of hope passing through you.
“William…”
“This is my choice. I’m choosing you,” he interrupts, his inflection firmer than before. “In sickness and in health, until death do us part, right?”
You search his eyes and are shocked to realize William means this. He wants to elope with you, follow you into uncertainty and escape the Capitol’s vicious rule.
“I’m sorry…about everything.”
His tender lips graze your forehead.
“There is nothing to forgive. None of this was your fault.”
His soothing words cast a balm over your wounded heart. You spent so long blaming yourself, tortured by your own thoughts and lamenting every choice you made. It’s refreshing to hear that maybe, not all the responsibility falls upon your shoulders.
You wipe the budding tears in your eyes.
“We have to be quick,” you say, your voice more confident than before. “Coriolanus, he…we need to be long gone before he notices I left.”
William squeezes your shoulder.
“You don’t have to be scared of him anymore. I won’t let him get anywhere near you. If he wants to breathe the same air as you, he’ll have to do it over my dead body.”
He wraps his arms around you and, for the first time in several weeks, you feel safe.
You help William pack his most essential belongings before the two of you sneak into the night. Despite what he said, you don’t miss the brief way his green eyes mist as he shoves a picture of his parents and little sister into a leather bag. Guilt floods your insides. You’re the one in trouble, not him. Several times, you grapple with the urge to tell him to stay, that you can do this on your own. But there is no going back now. It’s too late. Besides, a selfish part of you doesn’t want to. It’s scary enough, leaving everything behind. The Capitol. Your childhood home. Your parents. Having William at your side is the only way you won’t fall apart out here. You don’t see yourself surviving beyond the borders without him. As much as you complained about your life here, you’re aware of how sheltered you’ve been. You always had food on the table. You were never cold. You always had a warm bed to sleep in.
Now, those things will not be guaranteed.
You and William try to act natural around every peacekeeper you brush past, pretending you’re just two lovers meeting for a late night tryst. Still, your heart leaps each time you get a glimpse of the blue uniforms. You haven’t forgotten the time Coriolanus spent in district 12, paranoia prowling the edge of your mind. It’s not like he has any affiliation with them now, does he?
Sensing your unease, William squeezes your hand in reassurance. You smile at him.
Still, you don’t relax until the two of you have hailed a cab and are on your way to the train station on the outskirts of the city.
Even when the two of you successfully make it onto the back of a cargo train unnoticed, you’re still on alert. Even the whistle of the train as it rumbles to life and leaves the station doesn’t grant you peace. William wraps his arm around your shoulders. The two of you are sitting on the floor behind a gigantic crate of machine guns.
He drops a kiss atop your head.
“Hey, everything will be fine. I promise. Nothing will happen to you.”
You tuck yourself against him. You wish you could let go of your fear but dread’s had you in its clutches since you left the station. Would Coriolanus’ plans for you be thwarted so easily? You find it hard to believe, remembering his unflinching desire to make you fall in line.
Still, you give a weak smile.
“You’re right. I’m being silly.”
As soon as you utter the words however, the train hisses and makes an abrupt stop on the tracks.
William frowns.
“What’s happening? I’ll go ch-”
Before your fiancé can finish his sentence, the doors of the wagon open. A gust of frosty wind whisks inside the train. William’s eyes widen but there’s no time to process his shock as he’s kicked in the gut by a peacekeeper.
Another man appears and the two of them yank him out of the train.
“William!” you shout, jumping out of the wagon.
Your fiancé coughs out blood as he’s dragged away by the two blue-clad men. He tries to fight them but they kick him in the jaw. He crashes into the grass.
Your chest seizes. You begin racing towards him. However as the two men shift, revealing someone else behind them, someone whose haunting blue stare is forever engraved into your memories, you freeze.
He scrutinizes you before shaking his head.
“You disappoint me, princess,” Coriolanus sighs, folding his arms. “I thought you were finally coming to your senses.”
The two men force William on his knees, one of them pointing his gun at his head to keep him docile. Your eyes water. Helplessness tugs at your chest. He took no time to find you. Did you ever stand a chance?
“Coriolanus, just let us go. This is…all of this is going too far,” you plead.
He arches his brow, disdain lacing his tone as he says, “You really think I’d let my child grow up in a district?”
“You bastard,” William spits, hate flaring in his green eyes.
Malice sways in Coriolanus’ orbs as he takes in your fiancé. His taunting voice echoes through the field.
“Oh, does it sting, knowing I’ve had her before you in every possible way?”
He tries to lunge himself at the blond. Your breath catches as you watch the peacekeepers beat him into submission. He keels over in the grass, coughing up more blood.
Coriolanus turns to you.
“I’m going to give you a choice, princess. Come back home to the Capitol with me, willingly. I’ll forgive you, set the entire matter aside and we can focus on our guest list, cake tasting and finding you the perfect dress for our wedding.” He tilts his head, his smile vanishing. “Or don’t. And I really can’t say what I’ll do next.” He chuckles darkly. “I just know you won’t like it.”
You look at him, disbelief and sadness surging through you. You wonder where your friend disappeared to, the one who dried your tears and whispered soft words of reassurance whenever your mood dipped, the one who showered you with gifts and attentions. The one who was kind.
Who is this stranger standing before you?
Coriolanus laughs.
“You know Sejanus looked at me the exact same way…like he expected me to be someone I’m not, someone I never was.” His eyes lock with yours. “Right to the bitter end.”
Your stomach sinks, an awful realization digging its way through your mind. You don’t know how you know. Perhaps it’s that smug smile on his lips. Perhaps that glow in his eyes. Or that subtle inflection to his words. Either way, you just know.
You know what Coriolanus did and your entire world falls apart.
Sejanus too never stood a chance, you bet.
You nod. “I’ll come with you.”
A subtle smile blooms on Coriolanus’ lips.
“What?” William stares at the interaction in shock.
Coriolanus offers you his hand as you approach.
“It’s over, William,” you mumble, too ashamed to meet his gaze. You focus on taking Coriolanus’ hand instead. His touch is deceptively soft. “Just go back home, forget about this. Forget about me.”
Your spirits sink lower and lower with every word that leaves your mouth. You are willingly walking to your grave.
William shakes his head.
“No way…”
Everything that follows happens in a blur. So quickly you barely register what’s going on. First, William throws himself at the blond. You gasp as you watch them wrestle, Coriolanus having a clear advantage. Next, one of the peacekeepers hands him a gun.
He points it at his temple.
Ribbons of blood fly from William’s skull, painting Coriolanus’ shirt crimson.
Time stops for you as your eyes grow wide with horror.
The blond dusts himself off, shoving William’s limp frame off him as he rises.
He sighs at his stained shirt.
“This was brand new,” he laments.
You rush to William and fall to your knees near his unmoving body. It takes all your strength to even shift him a little.
“William? William, please?” you whimper. His lifeless green eyes rise to the moon in the sky, his soft mouth parted in a scream that never will be.
Your heart shatters into a million pieces, the shards piercing through your being and trailing scars in their wake. It will never stitch itself back together.
In the background, Coriolanus orders one of the peacekeepers.
“Get rid of the bodies. Make sure nothing is left. And I’ll put in a good word for your sister at the Citadel,” he promises.
The other peacekeeper pipes up, “The bodies? But there’s only one-”
A gunshot erupts. A few feet away, you watch one of the peacekeepers, the one who spoke up, crash into the ground. The other one shot him. Smoke still rises from his gun as Coriolanus nods at the man in approval.
“Like we agreed, I’ll also write to Commander Hoff on your behalf. You’ll start officer training next month.”
More words are exchanged between the two men but they fade amidst the buzz rising inside your head. You lie atop William’s corpse, numb as you faintly hope to find a heartbeat.
After a while, you’re hauled off your feet by a pair of strong arms. You struggle but it’s for naught. You’re taken away, William’s unmoving form dwindling in your vision.
“No, I can’t leave him…”
Coriolanus carries you bridal style to a vehicle. He places you in the passenger seat and ties your seatbelt.
“Shh, it’s okay, princess,” he coos. “You need to calm down. This isn’t good for you and the baby.”
The baby. You have to admit that for a second, you considered trying to pry the gun out of Coriolanus’ hands and shooting it into your own head. End it all once and for all. Your life has already ended. So what difference would it make? But then you remembered. Your life isn’t just yours anymore.
You look at the blond through tearful eyes, your hoarse voice swelling in the car.
“Did you get my brother killed?”
Coriolanus puts on his own seatbelt and turns the key in the ignition. “What an awful assumption to make, princess.”
He grips the steering wheel as the engine roars to life.
“However, it might be a good time to remember…that your father’s written me into his will.” Your breath stumbles. “Which means, though I prefer him alive to walk my beautiful bride down the aisle…” His blue eyes glimmer, his lips curving upward. “I also don’t need him to be.”
He shakes his head and sighs, running his fingers atop your thigh.
“Who knows how long he still has, with those heart issues of his. Anything could happen.”
“One day you will pay. For all of them,” you grit out, the sheer hate you feel for him overflowing in your tone.
He fondles your cheek, his smile growing.
“Perhaps… But not today.” He pauses, as if he just remembered something. He reaches inside the pocket of his coat.
“Here,” he says as he pulls out a small velvet box.
You witness in horror as Coriolanus removes William’s ring from your finger and slips another one in its place. It’s ostentatious, the red rubies shimmering like blood in the darkness.
Once it’s on your finger, he admires it. He brings your hand to his lips, brushing a soft kiss over your knuckles.
“Fits perfectly, just like I know it would,” he chimes.
#dark!coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow x reader#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#hunger games#tbosas fanfiction#dark!coriolanus snow x reader
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How is canon Annabeth abusive?
You want a list?
Alright!
1. She constantly hits Percy. Kicking him in the shins, elbowing him in the ribs, punching him in the gut. Not to mention the judo flip scene. Also, this is never said to be done playfully whatsoever. And it's done constantly in EVERY book.
2. She always belittles and calls him stupid. Like his plans never work. Ha, they work more than hers! Also, the parallels of her calling him Seaweed Brain, when Gabe called him Brain Boy! Like how would you feel if you have a nickname constantly degrading your worst insecurities?! All the damn time! Not to mention Thalia, who Percy was the first person who helped her after she stopped being a tree, after spending the school year with Annabeth started calling Percy Kelp Head and viewing him as dumb. Annabeth who ignored Percy all this year, and was overall just selfish and mean when they met again.
3. Annabeth is so possessive of Percy. Even before they are dating (which doesn't make it any better when they are), Annabeth doesn't let Percy be friends with Rachel. Trying to drive a wedge between the two. And Percy, literally only has Grover and Annabeth for friends. He is so alone, he needs more friends! Oh, and then with Jason she interrupts the two of them chatting and trying to get along. Also, just how she doesn't like that Percy seems to like Camp Jupiter, like he can't seem to have his own differing plans from her.
4. Tartarus. Everything about that was so bad. Like in Tartarus, whom Percy fell down to FOR HER, Annabeth brings up Rachel because in her thoughts, she needs to keep her boyfriend on his toes. Like bitch! Then, we get to how she thinks Percy is so manipulative when he talks his way to get Bob to kill his brother. Like that isn't Annabeth's number 1 tactic. She's so fucking judgemental!
And then the scene with Akhlys in Tartarus. Where yes, Percy is being scary torturing this goddess who tried to poison them to death. But she just tried to kill them! He's saving their lives! And then, Annabeth makes Percy promise her to never use those powers again, because "Somethings aren't meant to be controlled." Like do you know how useful poison-bending could be to save lives? What difference does this make from using a sword to kill monsters when all of them are trying to kill and/or eat Demigods! Not to mention, if someone is poisoned, Percy could help heal them!
Next, because of how horrible Annabeth made Percy feel for using these powers he attempts suicide. After he gets out and faces Polybotes, who controls poison, he doesn't even try to save himself and says to Jason that he deserves to die by poison for what he did! He tried to kill himself! And Annabeth never talks to Percy about this again, and instead talks to Piper who thinks Percy needs to be restrained like he's some kind of monster when he was saving them! Percy is literally the most selfless and kind person out there. And Annabeth treats him like crap! She doesn't deserve him!
5. Percy isn't allowed to have bad thoughts on Luke. Luke, who's tried to kill him repeatedly since he was twelve! And in general, this ship is so toxic and codependent right now, it's in no way healthy.
Anyways sorry for my rant, but yeah Annabeth is abusive, and it's just so concerning how people possibly in elementary school are being exposed to this being a healthy relationship, where girlfriends can hit their boyfriends, and can stop them making friends with others, because they belong to them like some sort of object.
Yeah, I just relate to Percy so much, and I don't want him to deal with another Gabe.
Edit: Okay, for anyone who likes Annabeth or Percabeth, I don't care - you do you. You can like and dislike all the characters and ships you want, just as I can. So, if you disagree with what is said, that's fine, but don't expect me to change my stance when I have already pointed out several concerning behaviors. So, like good humans, we'll just have to agree to disagree and move on with our days.
#anti annabeth#anti percabeth#anti annabeth chase#annabeth chase bashing#i hate annabeth#pjo percy#personal rant#pjo annabeth#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackson rant#percy jackson defense squad#percy jackson doesn't need annabeth#percy jackson deserves better#Just the parallels between Sally/Gabe and Percy/Annabeth#annabeth chase crit#annabeth chase is abusive#annabeth chase#I don't like her if you cannot tell#percy jackson and the olympians#Annabitch#not changing my stance on this when there are some many facts of her abusive tendencies#like the amount of times she hits him alone#and then combined with the belittling and controlling and possessive behaviors she has#yeah no#percabeth fandom is definition of toxic#percabeths dni#percabeth is the definition of a toxic relationship
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— bye bye my blue
y. jungwon x f!reader
wc: 2.3k genre: hurt/comfort, angst content: reader is older than jungwon (reader is called noona), insecurities, relationship growing pains and they're both horrible at communication. but they're growing!! and they're growing together :') misc. notes: title inspired by bye bye my blue by baek yerin :)part one of my jungwon noona anthology series, birds of a feather.
on a tuesday afternoon, jungwon finds you on the bathroom floor.
somehow, he knows something is wrong before he sees it, a weird feeling twisting in his gut the moment he opens the door to your apartment. the shades are still drawn, there’s a half-eaten bowl of food still sitting on the counter, and, most importantly, you’re not there. you’re not anywhere—not on the couch, not in your room, not in the kitchen. the door shuts behind him, a disturbance in the air.
it’s too quiet.
jungwon stops at the doorway, slipping off one shoe at a time. and then, carefully, he opens his mouth. “noona?”
it sits in the open air for a moment, waiting, and then he tries again, the feeling in his gut creeping up his throat. “noona, are you here?”
he steps further into your apartment, about to call your name one more time, until something rustles in the bathroom. jungwon stops, ears straining. a beat of silence. he steps forward, avoiding the single creaky wooden panel three feet from the door, socked feet practically sliding across the floor to avoid any unnecessary noise, until he hears it again.
a small sniffle, the ghost of a shaky breath echoing in the bathroom and trickling out from underneath the door. jungwon’s bag immediately drops from his shoulders.
you’re hurt, his head starts blaring.
his right foot moves first. and then his left. and before he knows it, he’s stumbling through the hallway towards the bathroom on instinct alone. jungwon’s hip rams into the edge of the corner table placed at the beginning of the hallway, a loud bang as it slams in the wall behind it. he registers it distantly, the noise, the burst of pain that shoots into the bone, but it doesn’t matter. none of it does, not when you’re holed up in the bathroom, all alone.
his hand flies to the doorknob, heart in the pit of his stomach—and he stops.
the voice in his head is still screaming at him to hurry, you’rehurtyou’rehurtyou’rehurt—but the metal lies cool against the heat of his palm, and jungwon takes a deep, shaky breath. he forces his panic to dilute into something more palpable, more manageable, to where he can swallow it down from the back of his throat to his chest and think.
he can’t force his way in, not if you didn’t want him to. whatever hurt he feels at that thought, jungwon shoves aside in favor of leaning his forehead against the wood, one hand clutched at the doorknob, the other raising slowly in a closed fist.
jungwon knocks once, then twice. he calls your name tentatively again, fragile as his lips form around the word. he hopes it’s enough to pass through the door, the walls you’ve yet to let down, the ones you still haven’t let him walk through.
he can’t tell if the silence that follows after is contemplation or guilt or embarrassment, but even so, he knocks again anyway. “noona, are you there?” please. “can i come in?” please, just let me in.
and again, nothing. jungwon tries to discern the silence, pressing his ear flush to the door trying to pick up any sign that you were okay, but it’s hard to tell when all he can hear is the thumping in his own chest, the blood pounding in his ears.
there’s a sort of shame that ripples in jungwon, stifling in his chest.
the gap between you and him is something he rarely forgets, with the way you shower him in adoration and praise him until his cheeks flush cherub-like. stubbornly, he wants to be more, but all jungwon has done is wait. he makes himself patient and he waits for the moment where you will finally let him see anything deeper than the smile you give him every day, where you stop seeing him as the younger boyfriend and someone to take care of and instead see him as someone you can rely on instead, where you tell him your thoughts and worries and peel back your layers and trust that jungwon will handle your rawest form with care.
he’d thought that maybe if he proved that he was good enough, capable enough, then you’d eventually let him in. but jungwon had convinced himself of that months ago, and now it’s come to this. you, locked in your bathroom and crying alone, and him, outside and still waiting.
(maybe the problem really is him. maybe even after all this time, he still isn’t the man you need him to be. perhaps you don’t really need him at all.)
“noona,” jungwon tries again, quietly, slumped against the wood. “please.” even if you didn’t need him, he needs you, still. “just let me know if you’re okay.”
something shifts, at that. the rustling of clothes on the other side of the door, a shaky exhale. jungwon would have been satisfied with that, really, his hand slipping from the doorknob and the offer to just go back home ready to leave from his lips along with his heart placed bleeding at the doorway. but instead:
“you can come in.” it’s so quiet it’s almost a whisper, the echo of the bathroom muffled through the door, but it’s the clearest thing jungwon has heard all day.
a few seconds pass, and the door creaks open, light spilling out into the hallway. a lump immediately forms in jungwon’s throat.
sat in the middle of the bathroom floor, a crumpled white button-up shirt between your hands, you look like a mess. red-rimmed and puffy-eyed, you stare up at him with a distinct quiver in your lip, like the mere sight of him sent your hastily reconstructed sand castle walls crumbling again. but you gather yourself again quickly, patting down any loose pieces of sand into form and pulling your lips into a sheepish smile.
“hi, wonie,” you greet, embarrassment peeking through. your cheeks are still wet, shining in the light when you tilt your head up at him. “you’re back early.”
jungwon used to think the worst thing he’d have to overcome was never being able to see any version of you but the perfectly curated mask you try to show him, but he thinks this is worse. to finally see you like this, and to have you look back at him as if you’d been caught, like being vulnerable was akin to some wrongdoing, like you’d been spotted with your hand in the cookie jar and he was the uninvited witness.
“ahh…” you breathe out, laughing. “i guess there’s no point in hiding it now.” there’s a certain look of guilt in your smile when you look at him that makes jungwon’s gut twist. “sorry you had to see me like this.”
“that’s not—” jungwon tries, but whatever that was supposed to come out next lodges in his throat, somewhere between breath and speech. “don’t—don’t apologize.”
your smile falters a little, hands falling into your lap. another ‘sorry’ gets lost between the two of you, mute at his admonition.
it feels a bit like a scolding, with how you avert your eyes from him and stare at the ground, and jungwon feels even more at a loss. he looks at you and then the shirt and then back at you again, running over anything he could possibly say to soothe over the awkward silence. and then, finally, “what happened?”
jungwon barely hears himself say it, the whisper so faint he’s not sure he even voiced it at all. you blink, eyes wet. your lip catches between your teeth deliberating, before you exhale.
“it’s okay,” you shake your head. you smile at him again, half-hearted and consoling. “it was stupid, don’t worry about it.”
your smile falls the second you see the look in his eyes, the hurt he can’t control that displays clear on his face. jungwon reels it in quickly, but you try to mend the wound before it can fester further.
“i spilled my coffee on my shirt,” you confess, holding up the stain. “i, um… i couldn’t get it out.” you look down at it again, and then back up at him, sheepish. “see, i told you it was stupid.”
there’s more to it, jungwon knows there is. a stain on some shirt of yours wouldn’t warrant breaking down into tears and sobbing in the bathroom; there was something you weren’t telling him, something you were deliberately hiding from him.
the last thing he ever wants to do is pressure you into divulging what you’re not ready to reveal, but how could he let it go now? how could he see you like this with his own eyes and turn away like he saw nothing at all?
“what happened?” he repeats, gently.
the question presses into you further, and you shake your head softly. “i told you—”
“do you trust me?” he interrupts, still quiet. do you trust me enough to lay yourself bare? do you trust me enough to know that you could let yourself crumble and i would still be there to catch you? do you trust me enough to take care of you?
your eyes dart to him immediately, panic splayed on your face. it’s like you can sense something falling apart, you or him or both, together, but you immediately try to patch it together again. maybe it was just in your nature. “what? of course i—i love you. i love you so much, you know that.”
your bottom lip stiffens as soon as the confession sounds, the sudden, unfiltered vulnerability resulting in you hiding the way your lip wobbles as you avert your gaze away, blinking away glassy eyes. you’re holding back your tears, again.
jungwon swallows hard.
(distantly, he wonders if this is all he is to you, someone you have to hold back for.
love and trust aren’t the same thing, and equating the two isn’t much of an assurance when something ugly and resentful has been curling in his chest ever since he stepped foot into your apartment; not at you, but at himself.
must you carry the weight of him along with everything else? is this all he is good for? to only see you in your good moments and be kept in the dark as you handle everything all by yourself in the bad?)
but you sniffle, an instinctive jerk of the body you can’t hide, and he pushes the ugly, resentful thing in his chest aside. jungwon steps forward, bit by bit. he can wallow in his failings another time—all that matters right now is you.
“what can i do?” he asks, finally, open-eyed and pleading.
a part of him wonders if he can even do anything, if you even want him to do anything for you, or if he’ll be thrown back into his regular pattern of waiting. waiting for you to come to him, waiting to be let in again as you cast him out yet again to deal with everything on your own.
he can’t demand anything of you, but right now, he wishes you would just lean on him, if only a little; he wishes you would ask him for something, anything. he wishes you would want to.
jungwon can’t do anything you don’t ask him too. it haunts him, this constant fear of being a burden to you, to be helpless even when he’s trying. his attempts are nothing but clumsy and stumbling, and it wouldn’t be anything but more trouble on your plate if he extends his hand and you don’t need it, you don’t want it. you'd both be left with something lingering in empty space with no one to claim it.
but perhaps his desperation to not be helpless gets to you too, because you take a shaky breath, clutching the shirt tighter between your fingers. and then, quietly: “can you just hold me? please?”
jungwon moves forward without a sound, kneeling down to the floor and taking you in his arms. the shirt falls down into your lap as you wrap your arms around him and hold yourself tight to his chest. neither of you say anything—perhaps you don’t know how to say it. or maybe, there’s nothing else that needs to be said, not at this moment.
you grab onto him like a lifeline, gasping out the beginning of sobs that threaten to rip out from your chest again, and jungwon sits there, letting you. he doesn’t need an apology, he doesn’t need an explanation. some would call it selfish, maybe, to have you taking what you please when you find it suitable, but the selfish you is what jungwon has been searching for this whole time.
jungwon wants you to be selfish of him. he wants you to want him for yourself, even if it’s just to be there with you. he'll let you take as much as you need from him, because it isn’t taking if he’s giving it to you.
later, after the tears have all dried, you will tell him the truth. at least, the parts of it you can properly articulate. how the coffee stain was the last straw of a shitty day in a shittier week, how you didn’t want to trouble him by complaining about something you hoped would soon pass, how you never dropped any mention of having a hard time to him because when you were together, everything else didn’t really matter that much anymore.
it wasn’t a matter of trust. just love.
but for now, on a tuesday afternoon on the bathroom floor, you hold him tight as you cry, and you let him hold you back.
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