#but i just ordered the exact same meal we did for two (2) of us for me (one (1) person)

[brakingpoint]

i'm hungover. i've had multiple near death (throw up) experiences today. on the couch with a blanky and hot water bottle. ludicrous amount of ultra greasy chinese food is ORDERED. i'm ready.

[libbytwq]

The Usual (part 1)

an SMGL:E x Karen fic

part 2 (N/A) part 3 (N/A)

-♡♡♡-

SMGL:E stepped into the McDonald's, as they did every afternoon at roughly around the same time, wearing a cocky grin on her face as they step up to the counter.

Sure, McDonald's was great, but there was only one real reason why they show up at that McDonald's every single day without fail, and that reason was right behind the counter, with tired eyes and cat ears.

Karen, the single mother and one of the two workers at the establishment, stood behind the counter, and upon seeing SMGL:E, chuckled softly in amusement.

SMGL:E found Karen to be an interesting individual. She was sharp and had an attitude, but wasn't unkind. In fact, Karen has never once been mean to them. And that was what drew SMGL:E closer to her.

Sure, the day they met her, she was obviously faking kindness to them to make sure they don't lose a customer, but even then, it wasn't like she was mean or hateful or anything. And customer service kindness is better than no kindness at all. It was more kindness than they've gotten before while in the Mushroom Kingdom, so he'll take what he can get.

SMGL:E grins and strolls over to the counter, with a cocky and playful attitude. They lean their hand on the counter and look down at Karen, who is a little shorter than her. Karen looks up at SMGL:E and their eyes meet.

SMGL:E can already feel their cocky attitude begin to crumble. How did Karen manage to be able to do that?! Always manage to make SMGL:E fall hard...

She was determined to not fall in love with her, but goddamn, it was difficult... Karen has always been so chill and wonderful to talk to, it's hard not to be smitten...

SMGL:E tries her damn hardest to not let Karen falter their stride today. SMGL:E would just order the usual.

"Heyyyy, Karen..." SMGL:E said, flashing a yellow fanged smile down at the feline cashier.

Karen chuckled softly. She seemed to be used to SMGL:E's shenanigans by now, and wasn't intimidated by their appearance in any way. Although, Karen was never intimidated by her to begin with.

"Fancy seeing you here, L:E..." Karen said, smirking softly and looking down at her cash register. "Lemme guess... you want the usual, right? 10 piece chicken nuggets with a small fry, and a small Coke?"

SMGL:E grins and nods. Their tanuki tail swishes for a moment and their ear flicks, making her large pearl earring jingle a little bit. This was the exact meal that SMGL:E has ordered every time they stepped into the McDonald's, for a few months now.

"You know me so well," he says playfully. "You forgot something, though."

Karen rolls her eyes playfully, knowing what was coming next.

For the past month or so, it had been an ongoing habit for SMGL:E to ask Karen out for a date, and it was also a recurring thing for Karen to decline. Neither's feelings were hurt or anything, but SMGL:E had been doing it so often that it would feel weird if they didn't do it when they came in and ordered food. It was sort of an unspoken tradition the two had kinda gotten used to. An inside joke, even.

SMGL:E grinned and playfully leaned closer across the counter resting an elbow on the countertop and resting their chin in their palm.

"How about a nice date?" she says, their tone a little quieter, but still very much playful. Her tail swishes behind them.

Karen looks into SMGL:E's three eyes and grins softly, silent for a moment longer than usual. She glances at SMGL:E's lips for a moment, then back to their eyes, before shrugging.

"You know what? I'll change it up a bit. Sure. Why not."

SMGL:E double takes, before his eyes widen and he stands upright, stunned.

Did...

Did he just hear that right?

"Wait, huh?-"

Karen chuckles at SMGL:E's stunned reaction.

"Yeah, I mean... I get off work a little earlier than usual today... my kids are gonna be at a sleepover, so I won't have to worry about them too hard... we could absolutely go on a date."

SMGL:E stares at Karen, stunned. Time seems to slow down. It almost felt like SMGL:E and Karen were the only two people in the world for a moment.

Eventually, SMGL:E gets a grip on reality after a moment, and grins flusteredly. Their confident demeanor has completely diminished, and a purple blush has risen to her cheeks.

"...Really?" SMGL:E finally says after a moment.

Karen chuckles softly and nods. SMGL:E cool and confident demeanor seemed to diminish instantly, and that was almost amusing to her.

"Yeah, why not?" Karen said, chuckling. "Could be fun."

SMGL:E blushes madly and glances away.

...No way.

The single mother cashier cat that SMGL:E's been hitting on half-jokingly-half-not for the past couple months has just accepted their half-joking-half-not date invitation.

...Why did they feel so nervous all of a sudden? She's never felt this nervous before. Normally he's so confident, so cool, so evil... this is different...

SMGL:E realized that she may or may not have been quiet for a millisecond too long and quickly clears their throat.

"U-Uh- ...O-Okay. Cool. Uh. Nice. Thumbs up."

Karen's ear flicked. She smiled and chuckled softly.

...She was so pretty.

"Heh. Well, where did you want to go?"

"Huh?"

"Well, you asked me. Did you have something in mind of somewhere to go?"

"...A-Ah."

SMGL:E had not thought that far.

"Uh. Maybe... uh... well. Heh. Uh-"

"You don't have a place in mind, do you?" Karen cuts her off, smirking and raising an eyebrow.

SMGL:E sighs. No use hiding it.

"...Yeah."

Karen snickers and thinks for a moment.

"...Maybe someplace simple. Your place, maybe?"

SMGL:E chuckles nervously.

"Uh, I technically don't have a place... I kinda crash over at someone else's place, I don't really have my own place..." SMGL:E says, fidgeting their hands together nervously.

Karen snickers softly.

"...What about my place?"

SMGL:E pauses and looks up at Karen.

"Really? Your place?"

"Yeah", said Karen, shrugging and smiling. "My kiddos aren't gonna be home for a while. You could hang out for a few hours. Maybe eat some dinner. How's that sound?"

SMGL:E blushes and their three eyes sparkle.

"...Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great-"

"OY!"

SMGL:E and Karen are both jolted out of their conversation as they hear Karen's middle manager call out at Karen. The tall, low-poly man with a mustache appeared from the McDonald's kitchen entrance and began shouting at Karen in a strange text to speech voice. SMGL:E thinks his name was Swag? Odd name.

"What are you doing?? You got a job to do! Get back to work!"

Karen rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Yes, Swag... on it..."

SMGL:E watched as Karen begrudgingly walked into the kitchen, but not before she gave SMGL:E one last glance, and one last small smile before she disappeared in the kitchen to ready his order.

After a few minutes, Karen came back with SMGL:E's 10 piece chicken nuggets and small fry in a bag, and a small Coke in a cup. She handed SMGL:E the order from across the counter as SMGL:E handed her the money.

Karen smiled at SMGL:E, making their heart skip a beat.

"I get off work at 6:30. Come over to my place at 7?"

SMGL:E blushes and nods flusteredly.

"Yeah... sounds good... where's your address?"

"What's your phone number?"

SMGL:E said her phone number aloud as Karen typed it into her phone, then she proceeded to text them the address.

Karen smiled and looked up at SMGL:E.

"Don't be late."

SMGL:E blushes and nods, speechless and flustered. They give a nervous smile to Karen and quickly leaves the McDonald's with their food.

A date!

With a girl!

As far back as SMGL:E can remember, which isn't very far, considering she remembers nothing from before her Guardian pod crash landed into the Mushroom kingdom, SMGL:E has never dated anyone before.

They begin to whimsically walk back home, sipping her cup of Coca Cola, before three little whisps of light and color whizz by their hair. A teal one, a blue one, and a pink one.

SMGL:E sighs. These little whisps were not unfamiliar, in fact they were a common occurrence. They used to freak her out, but at this point, they felt more like an inconvenience.

SMGL:E rolled her eyes, trying to ignore the little sparkles, before suddenly the pink sparkle caught them off guard, with strange hieroglyphic looking letters appearing in front of her.

SMGL:E furrowed their brows and stared at the strange letters. They looked foreign, yet familiar. Yet for some reason, their mind wouldn't let her figure out what the words meant.

They rolled their eyes and continued trying to walk back home, or what she considered home -- SMG1 and SMG2's place. SMGL:E just got a date -- they can't focus on whatever these stupid spectral sparkles right now.

The sparkles kept encircling her no matter how much SMGL:E tried to swat them away.

The pink sparkle showed up again and tried to get in front of SMGL:E's face, trying to get their attention.

More hieroglyphics appeared.

SMGL:E groaned and began to walk faster, away from... whatever these strange symbols were. They looked like some kind of letters, that's for certain. But what did it say?

SMGL:E didn't know, and SMGL:E didn't care.

The pink sparkle just couldn't let SMGL:E rest, it seemed.

SMGL:E audibly groaned again.

"You stupid... sparkles... things... please don't fuck with my good day..."

The blue, teal, and pink sparkles stopped whizzing around him for a moment, before the pink one whizzed around and formed more goddamn hieroglyphics.

SMGL:E sighs. These stupid hieroglyphics were gonna mess with her head if they kept up with this.

It was one thing to hear voices or see things, but it's another to see another language you can't understand.

SMGL:E continued walking on, as the sparkles slowly faded away, first the teal, then the blue, and finally the pink one, but not before the pink one created a few more hieroglyphics before disappearing.

SMGL:E sighed and continued walking onward with their McDonald's meal.

They had a date to get ready for.

She can worry about this shit later.

-♡♡♡-

end of part 1

[first-impressions-gaming]

Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising

Developed by Natsume Atari

Published by 505 Games

Release Date 2022

Tested on Xbox Series X

MSRP 14,99 USD

Imagine typical fetch quests (which are called ‘side missions’) in bland, boring, bloated and endless Ubisoft open world games (that’s right, I am winking at you Assassin’s Creed Valhalla), what would you say if I told you there is a whole game just made out of fetch quests? That’s right, that’s Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising in a nutshell. That has been a hard statement to make honestly, but this is what it is, I tried to hard to find a glimpse of something shining in this game to direct my impressions, sadly, there has been none.

I feel the need to stress that I only played 2 hours of this game (total playtime is around 13 hours, as per How Long To Beat It), therefore my opinion is more of ‘first impressions’ rather than a ‘review’, still I am calling this a review and I’ll explain myself more in depth as I’ll be discussing various aspects of the game.

Let’s start with the beginning, the story follows CJ, an adolescent self-exiled girl, who is a self-claimed ‘treasure hunter’, comes across a town on her way, she’s looking for some hot meal and a cosy bed to pass the night, in order to be accepted into this society she’s to complete chores (fetch quests), for citizens around the town, and you help rebuild buildings that were destroyed in recent devastating earthquakes.

At this point, everything looks promising, we, as CJ, are a vagabond young girl and we heed nobody in our way, we’re obstinate, hard-headed and decisive in our actions. With this personality, CJ is trying to hard to be accepted into this town, the acting-mayor of the town welcomes us by handing us a ‘stamp card’. This stamp card is to be filled with stamps that are given by townsfolk once we complete their requested fetch quests, this is necessary to obtain the ‘explorer’s licence’, a made-up licence similar to a working permit for a treasure hunter. In my 2-hour playtime, all I did was completing these fetch quests and sort-of main missions similar to fetch quests, and this progression is strictly linear because you are thrown at quests one after the other, there is no optional quests during this early-stage. When it comes to combat, it is pretty shallow actually, there is only one button for attack, don’t expect any fancy combos or character-specific skills or abilities.

For some missions, I thought the information displayed on the screen was missing. In the quest ‘Trouble in the Quarry’, the game doesn’t instruct you where to go on the screen, you need to head over to Active Quests in Quests menu, and it says it is ‘given by Karna. The Quarry’, you figure out you need to visit the Quarry to meet the relevant person. Why doesn’t it state which location to visit upon fulfilling the requirements? The need to check out by whom it is given by can be effortlessly removed, extra steps such as this are non-intuitive for players. Another case for inefficiency is this: two active quests for the same exact objective are displayed, ‘Trouble in the Quarry’s objective is ‘Complete Frida’s Quest’, and there is an already quest I am trying to accomplish, of which objective is Finding Paint for Frida. As far as I can understand, Trouble in the Quarry is an on-going main questline, whereas ‘An Armorer with an Eye for Fashion’ is a side quest, the game does not explain any of this, this must be the reason why two of them are displayed for the same objective.

Healing Potions can be found in Stowpack menu, which heals 500 HP, in order to see your exact HP you need to go Stats and Equipment menu, then return to Stowpack and use the consumable. You cannot see your exact HP in numbers or percentage in-game, that’s why there is at least three steps to go justo heal yourself. Healing your character is one of the most basic mechanics to do in a game, yet it is extremely cumbersome here.

After completing a fetch quest and helping rebuild Armor Shop you are to purchase/upgrade your armour, there are two options to choose from, which are Hunter Suit+ and Mercenary Armour+. In latter’s description, it mentions Garoo (our kangaroo teammate), so I gather this gear is for him, the thing is that Hunter Suit+ does not mention any character specifically, it would have been much better and helpful if the items had sated with which character the gear is compatible. The main issue comes from this: the gears display your stats and armour stats, if you don’t know for which character you are purchasing the item, how can you make a reasonable decision? In all its essence, the gear should be telling which item is for which character. 

The D-Pad buttons aren’t assigned to any control, I find this odd, it feels like a missed opportunity, the developers could have assigned shortcuts for Quests, Stowpack, Resource Bad or Storehouse which would have eliminated extra steps to access them.

Here are all the menus and sub-menus:

Stats and Equipment: here you find character stats and current gear

Stowpack: consumables such as health potions, balms to boost critical hits, attack speed temporarily.

Storehouse: Resources, Consumables, Accessories, Runes, Exploration Tools.

Resource Bag: Resources, Valuables

Just bear it with me, the menus are cluttered to the max, and they can be reduced in number for the better. For example, why is there two separate menus showing different consumables (in Stowpack and Storehouse), and these menus can be merged which would give the player a more intuitive and friendly experience. Stats and Equipment should list your accessories, runes, tools and as such, why would you need individual menus? As a player, I felt so lost in all these menus because it felt pretty pointless to have so many menus which harms the overall experience, there is one thing nobody can deny: if a design-choice or a mechanic hurts the user experience, it should be improved and upgraded, unfortunately I am leaving this game with a bad taste in my mouth. 

As I discussed so far, the UI leaves so much to be desired, let’s take two separate sub-menus which are titled ‘resources’, one of them in Storehouse, the other one in Resource Bag menus. First and foremost, the game does not teach you anything regarding these menus and why they exist for. I learned, by myself, that Resource Bag shows items you have looted so far in a hostile area, such as The Great Forest, the Quarry, once you extract from these locations, the items you looted are displayed as a list named ‘haul’. The thing is that you collect and loot various items yet there is zero explanation concerning where you can make use of them or how those items are valuable or beneficial to you.

Eiyuden Chronicle: Rising is a game that makes me appreciate good design choices in other games in terms of mechanics, user interface, progression, quest design. Personally, I haven’t had such a let-down experience recently this big, I wish all the best for the upcoming game in the series, Eiyuden Chronicle: Hundred Heroes, which is to be released in April 2024, and learn from its mistakes and failures.

[aelingalathyniusrailme]

If you find me on the edge, we’ll jump together.

Gwynriel Pirate au pt 6 

this chapters a little long and fluffy but I really like it and I finally gave it a name

Here are the other parts if you’re interested :) pt 1, pt 2, pt 3, pt 4, pt 5

what had azriel’s life become? In the past 24 hours his ship became infested with dangerous females, he had given up his most prized possession, and he was on his way to find a being that still haunted his nightmares. 

Berdara was a fine persuader but money was even better. Too bad they seemed to come in tandem. The captain of the shadowsinger needed this hall and there was no way in hell he was loosing a dime to the cutthroat redhead he now lived with. 

He stole a glance toward her to find her staring intently at the map. Her mind, her calculating, cold, ruthless mind at work. Her eyes shot up to his and she gave him a smirk, flashing the whites of her teeth and winked. he knew others would see a friendly smile but all he saw were fangs

Infuriating as she might be, she had not said one word, in the past few hours about his meltdown or the other thing he had yet to let himself dwindle over. He was caught between appreciation and the feeling that he wasn’t worth a second thought to her. 

“so where will my crew and I be sleeping” her voice was light but there was a slight edge. 

“The room next to mine.” He grit his teeth in preparation for the comment that was sure to follow that statement. “now you’re going to say something crude” 

at the same time gwyneth said with a wink, “want to keep me close, captain? all you have to do is ask?”

The slight shock on her face elicited pure joy from azriel. While hidden, a practiced eye saw the way her mouth slightly parted and her eyes flare. It was his turn to smirk as he responded, “Your majesty is becoming quite predictable.”  

gwyn smiled her psychotic smile and stepped closer to him. too close. “wouldn’t want that,” she whispered into his hear as if she was telling him a secret. Her voice wrapped it’s claws around his throat and squeezed, pulling him to her. 

Azriel coughed “You’re all going to have to share a room.”

“it’s quite alright, my crew and I have shared beds before.” There was a suggestive glint in her eyes. and blood rushed to his face faster than this girl could threaten and flirt in the same breath. 

“I don’t believe I said anything about sharing beds.” 

“Oh I know, but sometimes, shadowsinger, we must learn the difference between necessity and pleasure.” Azriel’s pupils dilated and his skin felt tight and hot.

Gwyn leaned in once again and teased, whispering, “Predictability is worth seeing you blush like a school girl.” She threw her fiery hair over her shoulder and walked away leaving him gaping like an idiot. 

cassian and rhys walked out from his room and rhys said with a chuckle “she’s something alright.”

cassian looked at him with mock sincerity “promise me I’ll be the bridesmaid at your wedding”

“and will it be a double with you and that second of hers?”

He held his hands to his chest and tilted his head, “only in my dreams”

Rhys swung his arm around him laughing, “You’re pathetic.” 

————————————————————————

5 days passed and every one of them was torturous. His crew at their wits end with hers. Apparently the two blondes were causing quite a bit of trouble. It had seemed one had wiped the floor with his entire crew when it came to the cards while the other was a bit of a thief, a petty thief. 

His sharpshooter had made the mistake of whistling at Emerie, she tossed him into the ocean without so much as batting an eye. Thankfully they got him out in time and rest assured there were no more comments or touching. 

He hadn’t seen Berdara much as she had been holed up in her room barely leaving beyond the occasional meal. Though every time she did grace his presence, she was sure to leave him flustered beyond relief. What about this girl make him loose all of his composure, he wasn’t sure. But avoidance was a useful tool. 

Don’t think about it, don’t care azriel thought as he watched Cassian and Rhys spar on the deck of his ship. HIs two best fighters, facing off until suddenly rhys was knocked to the ground from behind. The culprit, the silver majesties second, Nesta. 

There was a determined look in her eyes, cold ambition. 

Cassian laughed, unfazed. 

“my turn.” her voice was one of mock innocence, venom drenched in sugar.

“don’t be so eager sweatheart.” 

“Eager to knock your arrogant ass down a few pegs” 

“Ooh she’s feisty.” And with that Nesta attacked. She wasn’t graceful but she fought as if her life depended on it, a sure sign that at one point or another it did. She swerved and jabbed with a desperate urgency, one you could only learn on the streets. Cassian dodged and deflected, though he was working much harder than usual. It seemed he also had something to prove. 

Azriel turned, knowing this fight would not be over any time soon, to find Berdara walking right towards him. “Nesta will not loose this fight.” 

“funny, neither will cassian.” 

Gwyneth gave him a serious look. “She does not loose, she never has and she never will.” 

“hmm. It’s never too late to try new things.” 

gwyn rolled her eyes before a glint appeared in them. “care for a rematch?” 

“fists or swords?” 

“Let’s spice it up, swords.”

“double or single?”

“A sword and a dagger.” 

“Surrender or mercy.” 

“Seeing you kneel to me will be sweet.” she paused. “Surrender.” 

“You’re on.”

“Pirates oath?”

“A gentleman always plays fair.” She unsheathed her sword and dagger holding one in each hand and smirked. “too bad I am no mere man.”  she lunged but azriel had been expecting that and side stepped pulling out his own sword and dagger. 

Where nesta had been brute force and aggression, Gwyneth was all grace and speed. She fought with the efficiency of someone who trained with the queens guard themselves. It was like fighting a tornado, she was fast like lightning and when she struck she struck hard. Every move was beautiful and deadly, just like her. 

————————————————————————

“We dock in 15 minutes.” Azriel called out to his crew. 

“What no, we need to keep going.” Gwyn replied.

“What we need is to restock supplies so we don’t starve to death before we’re richer than the queen herself.” 

she gave him a confused look, as if he was speaking a different language.

“We’ve been sailing non-stop for almost 2 weeks and we are out of supplies.”

gwyn mumbled something that sounded like “pathetic.” 

As soon as Azriel dropped the anchor his entire crew rushed off the shadowsinger, desperate to be away from the insane women. With of course the exception of Cassian for he was leaning against the rails of the ship bothering Nesta while she was pointedly ignoring him. 

“Hey, enough with the heart eyes we’ve got shit to do.” Azriel barked at Cassian who then frowned and sulked off the ship while nesta stared at him with her cold, blank expression. “You too sunshine. Let’s get moving.” 

“Order me to do something again and I will cut off your limbs one by one and feed you them for breakfast.” 

“I’m counting down the hours.” Azriel narrowly missed the dagger she threw at his head.

“Don’t call me sunshine.” and nesta walked off the ship, katanas at her hips glinting in the cold sun of the winter court. She looked right in her element. 

Before he called these women insane but that was far too gentle of a statement, the females that had found their way onto Berdara’s ship were absolutely, completely batshit crazy. 

Az was sure everyone was off his ship, everyone was accounted for and yet something was nagging at him. 

A flash of red caught his eye and he turned to see the captain of the silver majesty sitting on the railing, one misstep and she would fall. Though there was no doubt in his mind that she would survive the deadly drop. This women seem to defy all odds, why not death? Her smile was wild and just a little bit mad as the wind swept and curled through her hair pushing it back from her face. As if it wanted nothing more than to be flowing through her her fiery locks that mirrored her spirit. Gwyn closed her eyes, feeling the breeze, the sun lighting up the freckles that spread across her cheeks. She was

“Are you done gawking?” she said without even opening her eyes. 

horrible, she was absolutely unquestionably horrible. “If I may, what are you doing majesty?” 

She turned toward him, in the sun the blue of her iris’s had a twinge of green as if she was born for the sea. “I am simply reminding myself why I left.” Her eyes gazed hungrily over the vast sea as though she saw a challenge, one she had to conquer. “who could resist all this?”

It was unlike her to offer such a raw statement with no ulterior motive and while it was entirely possible she did have one, Azriel believed her. Azriel believed her because he shared the exact feeling. The longing for freedom, the found solstice in constant change and motion, and the occasional guilt for leaving that ultimately fades because it will never not be worth it. 

“I pity them.” 

“Fools.”

“Utterly.” She offered no more as she hopped down from the railing. 

They walked in comfortable silence as they both took in the beauty of the winter court. It was all ice and snow with a slight aura of loneliness. 

Together the two captains arrived at the inn. It was cozy and warm and was placed separately from the rest of the town. His eyes shifted and he saw what had to have been the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. It was a bar. Thank fucking goodness. Azriel knew without a doubt that they all desperately needed some liquor. 

In the bar he immediately found both their combined crew. A crowd of men and women had surrounded Rhys, hanging on every word he said while he soaked it up flirting to his hearts content. Azriel was going to have to give him a limit on the number of people he could fuck at once, this was getting ridiculous. Next he found Cassian, Tarquin and Viviane doing shots at the bar. But he noticed every time his glance shifted to a certain girl in the corner of the room. Nesta was in a booth with Emerie sipping whiskey, talking in low voices. Cressedia and Drakon were in a heated drinking game and-

Azriel knocked into a body he immediately recognized as Lucien and he held out his hand at once glaring. 

“Hey captain.” He said cheerfully. 

“empty now.”

The kid dumped a pile of jewels, wallets, and id’s in his hand. 

Azriel smirked approvingly “get me a ruby, an Id of a man who could pass for the high lord of the winter court, and 500 more dollars.” Lucien nodded greedily and ran along. It had been a game between the two of them for Azriel to give him outlandish challenges to sharpen his skill as a thief. 

But before Lucien could leave the bar every lamp extinguished and the bar turned quiet. 

Strangers gasped and knives were drawn. 

Moments later the lights reappeared and once his eyes readjusted he saw a women holding two daggers to the throats of Tarquin and Viviane. They struggled against her. But she just laughed and scolded. “No no no. shhhh” Before she looked up again. 

“We need to have a chat.” every word was clipped and short. “Put your weapons away and these two might get to live to see another day.” It was an order, and a threat. Azriel didn’t take kindly to threats. 

Gwyn looked to the 3 remaining who followed her and nodded at them to listen. He nodded to his own crew. 

Nesta sneered but dropped her katanas to the ground. She opened her mouth to speak but Rhys beat her to it, pushing away the women he was flirting with as he drawled to the women in front of them. 

“It’s been a long time Feyre, darling.”

tag list: @imsointobooks @meher-sumedha @himadrij @gwynrielsupremacy @ipsa-est-lux-plenae @flora-shadowshine @allthebooksunderthemoon @valkygwyn @bookish-isha @lattristantketchup

[the-desolated-quill]

WandaVision: ‘Subverting’ Good Television - Quill’s Scribbles

(Spoilers for the first five episodes)

Hey everyone! Well... it’s been a while, hasn’t it? The last time I wrote a proper review or Scribble, people still thought the COVID crisis would be over within a month. The poor saps. But I thought that as a special way to mark this year’s Valentines Day, we could take a closer look at the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s shittiest power couple in their new Disney+ show WandaVision.

The first of many MCU spin-off shows that nobody asked for, broadcast exclusively on Disney’s totally unnecessary streaming platform, WandaVision is about everybody’s favourite whitewashed Nazi experiment and her red sexbot boyfriend as they try to fit into a suburban sitcom neighbourhood without arousing suspicion.

Yes, you read that correctly. The MCU has a sitcom now. My life is now complete.

Sarcasm aside, I was legitimately curious about WandaVision because of its unusual setting. And considering one of my most common criticisms of the MCU is its total lack of creativity, anything that’s even a little bit subversive is bound to attract my attention. Of course ‘subversive’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘good.’ I could hand you a canvas smeared with my own shit and call it subversive. That doesn’t necessarily make it good art. And that’s exactly what WandaVision is. A canvas smeared with shit.

So lets split this critical analysis/review/angry bitter rant into two distinct chapters. The first focusing on the plot and setting, and the second focusing on the characters. Okay? Okay.

Chapter 1: Bewitched

Critics seem to be utterly enamoured with the whole sitcom gimmick, and it is a gimmick. As far as I can tell from the episodes I’ve seen, the sitcom setting serves no real purpose whatsoever other than to make the show ‘quirky.’ Which I wouldn’t mind, believe it or not, if the show was actually funny. There’s just one problem. It’s not.

Now in some ways describing why a sitcom doesn’t work is often futile because comedy is largely subjective. What I find funny, you won’t necessarily find funny and vice versa. With WandaVision, however, I won’t have that problem. I can demonstrate to you precisely why WandaVision, objectively, isn’t funny. And it all comes down to one simple thing. The stakes. Or rather the complete and total absence of stakes.

The show makes it very clear from the beginning that none of what we’re seeing is real. The cheesy theme song, the era appropriate special effects (mostly. It’s actually very inconsistent), the joke commercials, and, in the case of the first two episodes, which are in black and white, the appearance of red lights and objects in Scarlet Witch’s general vicinity. (Gee, what a mystery this is).

Basically Wanda has brought Vision back from the dead and created this sitcom world for them to inhabit. I’ll explain the stupidity of this in Chapter 2. The point is none of this is real, and that has a negative effect on the comedy because the very nature of comedy is suffering. Take the plot of the first episode. Wanda and Vision have to prepare a dinner to impress Vision’s boss. If they fail, Vision could lose his job and the couple could be exposed as superheroes. If this were a normal sitcom, it would work. The stakes are clear and it would be satisfying to see the two struggle and overcome the odds. But here, we know it’s not real. If it’s not real, it means there’s no stakes. If there’s no stakes, it means there’s no suffering. If there’s no suffering, there’s no comedy.

It would be one thing if the unfunny sitcom stuff lasted for like the first ten minutes or so before making way for the actual plot, but it doesn’t. Oh no. It doesn’t even last for the first episode. Out of the five episodes I’ve watched, four of them are almost entirely about these unfunny, objectively flawed sitcom homages, each set in a different time period. The fifties, the sixties, and so on. And what’s worse is that nothing that happens in them is plot-relevant. That gets relegated to the last five minutes of an episode. So you’re forced to sit through twenty five minutes of boring slapstick and puns in order to catch even a whiff of actual story. Which begs the question... who is this for exactly? It can’t be entertaining to Marvel fans, who have to slog through all this pointless shit so they can figure out what the fuck is going on. Comedy fans may get a kick out of the sitcom pastiche at first, but after four episodes, surely the joke would wear thin. So why is it in here? Clearly someone in the writer’s room absolutely fell in love with the idea of doing a Marvel sitcom, but nobody put in any time or effort to figure out how it would work in context.

I cannot stress enough how bad the plotting of this series is. As I said, the vast majority of a thirty minute episode is about shitty sitcom plots that aren’t funny and don’t have any impact on the story, only to then tease you with a crumb of actual plot in order to keep you coming back for the next instalment. Admittedly it’s an effective strategy. I was more than ready to quit after Episode 2 until that beekeeper showed up out of the sewer (don’t ask. It’s not important). WandaVision essentially follows the Steven Moffat school of bad writing. String your audience along with the promise that things might get more interesting later on and that all the bullshit that came before will retroactively make sense by the end. Except, as demonstrated with BBC’s Sherlock, that doesn’t work. And even if it did, it wouldn’t justify wasting the audience’s fucking time. And that’s what the majority of WandaVision is. A waste of time.

The only episode that doesn’t follow the sitcom format is the fourth episode. Instead it basically exists to explain all the shit that happened before. The shit that the audience, frankly, are smart enough to figure out for themselves. Wanda created the sitcom world as a way of coping with the loss of Vision, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, we got it. Thanks. It doesn’t advance the plot or anything. It’s just a massive info-dump. But by far the lowest point was when Darcy (by far the most annoying character in the first Thor film and is just as obnoxious here) was sat in front of the TV, watching the sitcom and asking the same questions we were. Not even attempting to look for answers. Just reiterating what the audience is thinking. Like this is an episode of fucking Gogglebox.

In the end it becomes apparent why the series is structured the way that it is. It’s to hoodwink people into subscribing to Disney’s stupid streaming service. If you think about it, there was no reason for WandaVision to be a TV series other than to lure gullible fans in with a piece-meal story buried in a mountain of crap. This isn’t a TV show. It’s what is cynically known in the world of big business executives as ‘content.’ They’re not interested in entertaining the audience. Instead they crave ‘engagement’, which isn’t the same thing. Watching WandaVision is like staring into the void, waiting for something to happen, while Disney charge you for the privilege.

Chapter 2: I Love Lucy

So the plot sucks balls. What about the characters? Surely if Wanda and Vision are likeable at least, it’ll give us something to cling onto.

Well as I was watching the first episode, it suddenly hit me that I couldn’t remember anything that happened to them in previous films. I knew Vision died, but other than that, I couldn’t tell you significant plot details or their personalities or anything. Not a great start.

See, up until now, Vision and Scarlet Witch have been little more than background characters. So already there’s an uphill struggle to get us invested in their relationship, especially considering we haven’t actually seen that relationship develop. In Avengers: Age Of Ultron, Scarlet Witch is killing people because she’s pissed off about Tony Stark killing people (you work that one out) until all of a sudden she stops and joins the good guys because the script said so. Vision meanwhile is introduced as a convenient deus ex machina to beat Ultron and gets no real personality other than he’s a robot. Captain America: Civil War comes the closest to giving Wanda a story and personality of her own as it’s her actions that cause the Sokovia Accords to come into effect, but she never gets any real growth or payoff as the film is heavily focused on Cap and Iron Man’s penis measuring contest. And as for Vision, all he does in the film is accidentally cripple War Machine. No real character or arc there as such. And then we have Avengers: Infinity War, where Wanda and Vision are now sporadically in love and on the run until that pesky Josh Brolin, looking like a CGI cross between Joss Whedon and a grumpy grape, comes along and rips out Vision’s Infinity Stone to power up his golden glove of doom, and the film treats this like a tragic moment, except... it isn’t. Because we haven’t really had the time to properly get to know these characters and see their romance blossom. So instead it just comes off as hollow and forced.

WandaVision has the exact same problem. Apparently Wanda was so distraught about Vision’s death that she broke into a SWORD base, stole his corpse, brought it back from the dead... somehow, and then enslaved an entire town of people to create an idyllic lifestyle for her and her hubby while broadcasting it as a sitcom to the outside world... for some reason. Putting aside the dubious morality of it all, it’s impossible to really sympathise with Wanda or her supposed grief because we’ve barely spent any time with her. Had the Marvel movies taken the time to properly explore the characters and show us their relationship grow and develop, this might have had more emotional resonance. But no, it just happens. In one film they barely speak to each other and in the next they’re a couple. No effort to explore how they feel about each other or any of the problems that may arise trying to date a robot. It just happens and we’re just supposed to care. Well I’m sorry, but I don’t care. You’re going to have to try a little bit harder than that I’m afraid. What’s worse is that, thanks to the whole fake sitcom thing, it’s impossible to really become invested in Wanda and her plight because the show has to constantly keep us at arms length at all times in order to keep up the pretence that this bullshit is somehow mysterious.

Looking through the WandaVision tag, it amuses me how many people say that she’s acting out of character. And yeah, her actions are a bit of a head scratcher. Why would an Eastern European’s ideal life be an American sitcom? Why a sitcom? Why kidnap an entire town? Why keep changing the decade? None of it makes sense, but you’re wrong for thinking that Wanda is behaving out of character for the simple reason that Wanda has never actually had a character. In fact, ironically, Wanda mind controlling an entire town and forcing them to do her bidding is probably the one consistent thing about her as she did this in Age Of Ultron. In interviews, Elizabeth Olsen and Paul Bettany described how they used actors like Elizabeth Montgomery and Dick Van Dyke as influences, which is really funny because they’re straight up admitting they don’t have characters and even now they’re still not playing the characters, instead emulating the work of far better actors.

As I was watching the show, it became abundantly clear that not only do Marvel not have the faintest idea what they wanted to do with these characters, but they also straight up don’t give a shit about these characters. Wanda in particular has had a rough time under the tyrannical regime of the House of Mouse. First they cast Elizabeth Olsen, a white woman, to play a Romani character, then systematically erasing her Jewish roots, even going so far as to put a cross in her bedroom in Civil War, and now the character is being butchered even more by forcing her into an American sitcom housewife role that she apparently willingly chose for herself, which is laughable. I mean say what you like about Magneto in the X-Men films, at least they actually depicted his Jewish culture. At least they recognised his Jewish background was important (though not important enough to cast a Jewish actor apparently). Wanda’s steady cultural erasure over the years is incredibly insidious and judging by Olsen’s comments in interviews, where she called Wanda’s comic book outfit a quote ‘gypsy thing’ unquote, it seems nobody has an ounce of fucking respect for the character or the culture she’s supposed to be representing. (and to all those kissing her arse saying it was a slip of the tongue, she has been repeatedly called out for using the slur in the past, so at this point I’d describe her behaviour as wilful ignorance)

If you want further proof of how much Marvel doesn’t seem to care about Wanda, look no further than her brother Pietro, aka Quicksilver. At the end of Episode 5, Wanda brings Pietro back from the dead, except it’s not Pietro. It’s Peter Maximoff, the Quicksilver from the X-Men films played by Peter Evans, who coincidentally is not Jewish or Romani either. So Quicksilver has the dubious honour of not only being whitewashed three times, but also twice within the same franchise. But should we really be surprised at this point? It’s Marvel after all. The same company that whitewashed the Ancient One in Doctor Yellowface and claimed it wasn’t racist because Tilda Swinton is ‘Celtic’. But now I’m going off topic. My point is that this isn’t a simple case of recasting an actor like Mark Ruffalo replacing Edward Norton as the Hulk. WandaVision actually acknowledges the recast in-universe, which makes no sense. Why would Wanda bring back her brother, only to make him look like a different person? We the audience may be familiar with this version of Quicksilver, but she isn’t. That would be like me bringing my Grandad back to life and making him look like Ian McKellen. He’d be perfectly charming, I’m sure, but he wouldn’t be my Grandad. 

If Marvel really cared about the characters or narrative consistency, they would have brought Aaron Taylor Johnson back. Instead, now they have absorbed 20th Century Fox into the hellish Disney abyss, they use X-Men’s Quicksilver as a means to keep viewers from switching off and so that people will write stupid articles and think pieces about whether the rest of the X-Men will show up in the MCU. It’s like dangling your keys in front of a toddler’s face to distract them from the rotting corpse of a raccoon lying face down in the corner of the room.

And it’s here where I decided to stop watching the show because fuck Disney.

Epilogue: One Foot In The Grave

You know, I am sick and tired of the so called ‘professional’ critics bending over backwards to praise these god awful films and shows when it’s so clear to anyone with a functioning brain cell how bad they truly are. WandaVision is without a doubt one of the most cynically produced and poorly structured TV shows I’ve ever seen. Its riffs on classic sitcoms are pointless and self-indulgent, the writing is terrible, the characters are unlikable and unsympathetic, and it’s entirely emblematic of what the entire MCU has become of late. And it’s only going to get worse as Disney drowns us with more ‘content’ to keep the plebs ‘engaged’. In short; pathetic.

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: brief mentions of alcohol consumption, allusions to sex

A/N: so you know how last chapter i said there was going to be like 4 chapters left…sorry i lied. as much as it pains me to admit since i’m so attached to this little family, i feel this story is coming to its natural end and i don’t want to drag it out (i may do one-shots of this series in the future though!) that being said, this is the second to last chapter. i appreciate all of your continued support throughout this series <3

Masterlist

Chapter 36

You opened the front door to the house after your therapy appointment. You had been making a lot of progress.

Spencer and the kids used to go with you and then wait at the park across the street until you were done but you had decided that this time you could go alone. Spencer hugged you tightly before you left and said how proud of you he was, reminding you of your calming exercises for the waiting room, and to call him if you got too overwhelmed. Luckily, your anxiety had not gotten the better of you and your appointment went fine.

You could hear the opening notes to Golden by Harry Styles playing. Once the beat dropped, you heard Spencer say, “Okay, go babies, go!”

You rounded the corner to see Spencer conducting a dance party for the twins in their bouncy jumpers and Jo who was wearing her Rapunzel dress.

“Ollie,” Spencer crouched down to the rather stationary baby, “Look at your sisters! See, copy them! We’ll all bounce.”

While Ophelia was very audible and energetic, Ollie was more reserved. This concerned you and Spencer a bit because he would hardly cry and you had no idea what was going on with him or if he needed anything.

As Spencer backed up to start dancing as well, you pulled out your phone and hit record just in time to see Spencer accidentally bounce into the couch and trip and fall flat on his face.

Ollie giggled. Spencer shot up from the ground. Ollie had never done that before. Ophelia’s first laugh was a few weeks ago but nothing seemed to be funny enough for Ollie until his Daddy fell.

Spencer scrambled to get his phone, “Jo, can you record for Mommy? I’m going to fall again.”

You decided this was the time to make your presence known.

“That won’t be necessary,” you announced with a smile, ending the video you took.

“You heard?” Spencer beamed.

“Yep, got it on video too,” you walked over to the jumpers and lifted up Ollie, giving him a bunch of kisses, “You were really going to hurt yourself again just so I could have a video of our son laughing?”

“Absolutely, I was,” he grinned.

“You’re an idiot,” you chuckled.

“You’re the one who fell in love with an idiot,” he replied.

“I guess that makes us both idiots then,” you sighed happily.

“But idiots in love,” he kissed you.

You blew a raspberry and tickled Ollie’s little belly and he started giggling hysterically again.

-

Spencer was with twins on the floor on a blanket doing some ‘tummy time’ while Jo sat on the couch watching cartoons.

“Why can’t me and the babies come with you and Mommy for dinner like we usually do?” Jo asked.

“Because a year ago today, Mommy and I got married so we want to go out to a fancy restaurant and celebrate our love for each other. But, we’ll go out together as a family soon again and Uncle Derek and Auntie Penelope will be watching you tonight.”

“Okay,” Jo instantly agreed.

You clicked down the stairs in your high heels, carefully holding the railing. Spencer stood to help and offered his hand to you for support.

You were dressed in a midi A-line black corset dress with a white floral design.

“You look absolutely stunning as usual, my love,” he kissed your hand.

“As do you, my husband of officially a year,” you beamed.

He kissed you on the lips this time as the door opened.

“Kids night!” Penelope exclaimed, running into the house with Derek in tow. “I brought board games, ice cream, and every Disney movie DVD I own.”

“Auntie Penelope!” Jo hugged her and then Derek.

Then, Penelope turned to you both, “What are you guys still doing here?”

“Emergency numbers are on the fridge. We’ll both have our phones on the whole time,” you repeated the information you had told them many times before as you were pushed out the door by Penelope.

“Oh, also recent development!” Spencer added as he tried to resist Derek’s pushing, “The twins are avid crawlers now so if you set them down for a second and look away, they’ll be gone.”

“Good to know. Enjoy your night, you two,” Derek winked as he shut the door.

“So where are we going?” you asked as you walked hand and hand to the car.

Spencer opened the passenger side door for you, “We are going to the restaurant where we had our first date, my dear,” he smiled.

-

Spencer had rented a private patio for the two of you with lit candles, fairy lights, and a bouquet of wildflowers similar to the one you carried down the aisle a year ago.

You gasped when you saw the set-up, “I love you so much, Spencer Reid.”

“I love you more, Mrs. Reid.”

You and Spencer ordered the exact same dishes that you got on your first date for maximum nostalgia.

“There is something I wanted to talk to you about,” Spencer spoke mid-meal.

You set your fork down to show him he had your full attention.

“So I was thinking about what I want to do this summer. You’re off of work for the summer so we’ll both be home with the kids. I figured I should take up some sort of project to keep my mind stimulated,” he explained.

“Go on...” you took a sip of your wine.

“I think I want to become an author,” he stated.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea. Any idea what genre?” you smiled softly.

“At first, I was thinking about something related to my time at the BAU but then I realized I’ve had enough of that as is and I don’t feel like reliving it. Now, I’m thinking more along the lines of fiction because during all my years of schooling, I never really got to explore my creative side. I think a kid’s book could be fun for me to write. And I could work on it whenever the kids were napping or at school,” he explained to you.

“Whatever makes you happy, love. I can’t wait to read what that beautiful brain of yours comes up with,” you grinned, “This also makes my gift for you even better.”

“Y/N, we agreed no gifts,” he rolled his eyes playfully.

“It’s just something small that made me think of you,” you pouted, reaching into your purse.

You handed him something wrapped in a thin layer of pale purple tissue paper. Inside was a beautiful leather journal. It had a quote inscribed on it.

‘Do not be afraid; our fate cannot be taken away from us; it is a gift’ -Dante Alighieri

“You just saw this and happened to think of me?” he asked, amused, “How is it customized with our initials and wedding date then?”

“Fine,” you relented, “I ordered it off Etsy a while ago.”

“Good thing I also didn’t listen to our agreement,” he smirked, “But mine isn’t as sentimental and it’s really a gift for us both.”

“I’ll love it just the same,” you assured him.

“We are not going home tonight. The fairy godmother volunteered her and Derek’s services all night so I booked us a room at a bed and breakfast and I already packed you a bag in the backseat of the car.”

You started stuffing pasta into your mouth, “Eat faster. I want to go as soon as possible.”

Spencer chuckled at your eagerness.

-

Spencer felt you trying to sneak out of bed to get your phone.

“What are you doing?” he mumbled at the loss of your warmth.

“I just want to check on the kids. This is our first night away from the twins,” you grabbed your phone, putting on Spencer’s button up, and facetiming Penelope.

She picked up on the second ring, “Hello, my lovely.”

“Hey, Pen. Are the kids behaving for you guys?”

“Yes. They’re all sleeping soundly now. Me and Derek are just binging episodes of The Bachelorette now.”

“That’s great to hear. No spoilers though!”

“How is your night going?” she inquired.

“It’s good, it’s good. Dinner was nice. The hotel is nice,” you tried to avoid the obvious.

“Y/N, your makeup is completely smudged and I can see the collar of Spencer’s shirt around your neck,” she replied.

You heard Derek laughing in the background, “Proud of you, lover boy.”

“Okay, we’ll see you in the morning,” Spencer hung up the phone for you.

“What did you do that for?”

“Round 2,” he smirked.

taglist (just ask to be added or removed!): @samuel-de-champagne-problems @g0lden-cth @spencerreid9 @averyhotchner @coldlilheart @k-k0129 @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @harrystylesandthegoobs @cmily @jswessie187 @rem-ariiana @hoodpankow @mochionly @spencerreid-187 @doctorreiding @reidsfish

[kentokunn]

false accusations; (erwin smith x reader)

chapter one; gambler (3k words)

SUMMARY: Erwin Smith has always been a gambler. His decisions have always had promising outcomes. However, when one of his gambles ends with you in the custody of the Military Police accused of perjury, he is forced to come up with a scheme that will have only one solid outcome, the one which he needs to happen for thee wiring your safety.

His plan- to any other bystander -looks to be another one of his unpredictable gambles, but his long time friend Nile Dok knows Erwin's smile all too well to know that he had predicted every single consequence and what the outcome would be to the bitter end. The military Commander had proved to be far too clever for his own good on multiple fronts.

[canon divergence; season 2]

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is my first time writing for Erwin that isn’t a headcanon. It’s also my first time writing a chapter story in months. I’ve had crazy writers fatigue so I had to take some breaks, but the idea for this story made me excited to write again! This chapter may seem like it drags on and is kind of dialogue heavy (at least I think it is), but it’s mainly just an introduction chapter to prepare for the actual story. So far, what I have planned out is 10 chapters and a prologue but it might change in the future. I hope you all enjoy, and feel free to leave feedback or constructive criticism!

It was the afternoon before the Scout Regiment was to make their way to the capital within Wall Sina. The Commander stood at the head of the oak wood table in front of a map of Stohess that covered the length of the table. The map was covered in short nails and strings with red, green, and black dots, made with ink, marked along certain points. Erwin was hunched forward a little, pointing to one exact spot on the map and revising over the plan that he and the young recruit, Armin Arlelt, had come up with to capture the Female Titan.

Tapping his finger on the map, Erwin looked up at the four sitting along the sides of the table. "Here. This is where Armin, Eren, and Mikasa will be leading Annie Leonhart for the capture squad to trap her." After a brief moment of silence, an invite for somebody to speak up, he continued. "While I am likely being detained by the Military Police, Levi and Hanji will be planted in Stohess already to engage should anything get out of hand," directed Erwin, who looked at the two in question for confirmation. He was satisfied once both nodded.

"Good. Now, Miche will be supervising a group of recruits in an isolated base located in Wall Rose. We can assume that there are more titans similar to Annie and that they could be conspiring together, Armin suggested this would be a good way to avoid interference from others," Erwin explained, lowering himself into his seat. "This plan has already been told to Mikasa and Eren but I'd like you four to talk with them at dinner to confirm that they're prepared. Everyone is dismissed."

Miche and Levi, who both sat across from you and Hanji- who was on your right -stood and saluted the Commander, Levi sharing a few words with Erwin, before they left the office. Hanji took a moment to gather the map they had brought for the demonstration and said a quick goodbye to both you and the Commander before exiting as well.

You remained seated, brows furrowed slightly in confusion. "Sir?" you asked, as he stood and made his way towards his work desk a few feet away. It was sitting by a window that stretched a large part of the back wall, overlooking the training grounds. The desk was filled with papers and had a few ink stains that must have been only a day old since the desk looks to have been cleaned fairly recently.

"Yes, Squad Leader?" Erwin questioned mentioning your name after your assigned title, raising a brow as he looked up to you from the letter he had grabbed before taking a seat.

You sat, silent for a moment in confusion. "Commander, what would you like me to do tomorrow?" you asked, standing and pushing in your chair, walking closer to his desk so that you stood in front of it.

Erwin placed the letter down at his desk, giving you his full attention as he folded his hands on the desk. "You'll join me to the capital. I'm expecting to be arrested by the Military Police once they find out about this plan so I'll need you by my side. Once the situation is explained I'm sure we'll be let go and allowed to join the others, but until then I'll need you to be with me in case a tricky situation arises," Erwin explained. "I was going to mention this later in the night since I'm still questioning whether it would be better for you to be with Miche, but for now the plan is for you to accompany me tomorrow. Understood?"

You fixed your posture into a salute and nodded. "Yes sir!" you exclaimed. Erwin offered a tight smile in response and dismissed you, returning to his paperwork.

Walking out of the office and shutting the door behind you, you made your way to your room. It was at the opposite end of the hall along with Captain Levi's- who had a slightly larger room than you -Hanji's, and Miche's. This floor was reserved for Squad Leaders, the Captain, and the Commander.

Your room was a decent size, comfortable for one person. It had a bed, bookshelf, desk, and lounge chair that fit comfortably within the room without feeling like it was cluttered. The bathroom and closet doors were beside each other on the left wall, both providing enough space for what they were required for. Your room had two windows on either side of the bed and two gaslights hung just barely above them.

All in all, the room was perfect for somebody who didn't spend much time in it. With most days either on the training grounds with your squad, in town gathering supplies, or on expeditions not much time was spent here. However, now was the perfect opportunity for you to take an hour or so to relax in bed before dinner time.

Grabbing your matches, notebook, and calligraphy pen off the desk you made your way to the right side of your bed, striking the match and igniting the gaslight. You walked over to the left side to do the same before blowing out the match and tossing it into the empty glass on your bedside table that was once filled with water.

Sitting up in your bed you grabbed the notebook and pen you had placed beside you. Using the ink container on the bedside table to dip your pen in you began to rewrite the plans explained earlier by the Commander. This was something you did often to keep everything you needed to know fresh in your mind so that should any mistake happen you could readjust a situation to fall along the original path intended.

This habit had come in handy many times throughout your years as a Squad Leader and has saved many misfortunes from happening. Your quick thinking and leadership in tough situations were often praised by young recruits and even your fellow veterans alike.

While writing your last few sentences the bell atop the headquarters had rung, signaling that the clock had struck six o'clock and that it was now dinner time. Lying the notebook open on your bed to dry and closing the ink container, you stood up and made your way to the mess hall once you put on your boots.

Hanji had left their room at the same time you had, calling out your name and walking up to you to join you on your walk downstairs. "Are you ready for tomorrow?" Hanji asked, pushing the door that leads to the steps downstairs open for you both.

"I am. In fact, I'm currently writing everything down in my notebook," you informed, quietly thanking them for the door.

Hanji clapped their hands together once, the sound echoing in the stairwell. "Great! That may very well come in handy tomorrow, especially since the plan is set to take place inside Wall Sina," Hanji said, opening the door to the mess hall once more.

You hummed, bowing your head down slightly as another thanks. "Yes, that's a little worrisome, but I trust Erwin and his plan so really, I'm more anxious for tomorrow to come than I am worried about it going wrong," you replied.

"I feel the same!" they exclaimed, taking a seat once you both reached your usual table. Levi was already sitting with his tray of food while Miche was grabbing both yours and his. Levi had already grabbed Hanji's tray for them.

You smiled at Miche when he returned, setting the tray he got for you down. You gave a small thank you and properly sat down so that you were across from Levi. The meal was relatively silent between you four while the others in the mess hall were rather rowdy as always. Miche was the one to break the silence.

"We should ask Eren, Mikasa, and Armin to join us quickly to confirm the plan with them like Erwin asked," he suggested, setting his fork down on his empty plate.

You nodded in agreement, "yes, we should. I'll go gather the three of them quickly." With that, you stood from your seat and walked over to the table where Eren, Mikasa, and Armin sat. "You three," you pointed to them, "follow me." You gesture with your finger to follow the order, leading them to the table. Usually, you'd have been more polite in requesting them to follow your orders, however with how few people knew of the plan and you didn't want to arouse suspicions and questions you were required to be more firm.

Once you led them to the table Levi instructed them to each take a seat, to which they took across from you- where you now sat beside Levi. "Commander Erwin requested that the four of us went over the plan with you three to ensure you guys know what needs to be done tomorrow. Are there any questions?"

Eren looked to be holding something in while Armin and Mikasa remained silent and shook their heads. You frowned at noticing Eren's inner conflict. "Jaeger, what is it?" you asked.

The brown-haired boy looked up at you, eyes wide for a moment before he sighed. "Are we really sure that Annie is the Female Titan?" he questioned. "Look, I know how smart Armin is and I'm not saying that his suspicions are wrong, but well... what if they are?"

Mikasa was quick to elbow him, her face as blank as ever, but a sound of disappointment left her lips. "Come on Eren, you know that all the signs point to Annie. You will see the truth tomorrow, accept it." That was the harsh truth. A young girl that the cadets had grown up with was a traitor.

Eren shook his head quickly, clearing his thoughts. "Yeah yeah, you're right, I'm sorry. I'll be prepared tomorrow, no matter what. We'll catch her, I promise!" Eren vowed, growing more enthusiastic with each word.

"You better be," was Levi's reply. "We need you three in order to get Annie to where we need her to be, so please, don't fuck this up."

You frowned, flicking Levi's shoulder. "They're children! Stop putting so much pressure on them!" you scolded, turning your head towards the cadets. "Just do your best, Hanji, Levi, and the others will be there as a backup just in case," you assured, alleviating some of the worries you saw in Eren's and Armin's eyes.

Once the three of them nodded you allowed them to stay with you for the remainder of dinner until the bell rang, signaling it was time to make their way to their rooms. You and the others remained still in the mess hall, however. Nanaba, Moblit, and a few other Survey Corps veterans joined you at the table.

It was common for you all to share a bottle of beer each before a serious plan. Not enough to get even close to drunk, but enough to mask some of the stress if even for a few hours. So, as Miche and Moblit returned back to the table with the bottles of beer, everyone cheered and took a swig from their bottles, settling into a small conversation.

The conversations went from one topic to the other, even a few stories shared amongst one another until the doors were heard creaking open. Everyone's head turned, assuming it was a cadet that'd have to be ordered to return to their room immediately, but everyone was surprised when they saw the Commander.

It wasn't often Erwin came down to the mess hall for dinner, typically getting his meals sent to his office so that he would be able to continue his work, but occasionally he'd make his way down to get his meal himself. He hadn't yet noticed everyone, since he was at the complete opposite end of the large room, but a quick glance around and his eyes had landed on your table.

He made careful steps towards you all, his eyes roaming each and every one of you, and then the bottles you all possessed- some empty, some nearly there, some barely dipped at. "Everyone," he greeted, dipping his head just a centimeter as a sign of respect.

"Commander," was everyone's reply, followed by the same action. You and Levi moved closer to the end of the bench you both were sitting at as an invitation for Erwin to sit, which he gladly accepted.

"A beer sir?" Nanaba asked, offering to grab him one from the kitchen.

"Please," was Erwin's answer. As Nanaba made their way to grab a beer for the Commander, he took the opportunity to ask a question. "Stressful night?" His lips formed a slight smile, almost like a knowing grin.

Levi scoffed, drinking what little was left in his bottle before placing it down on the table with a little less force than a slam. "You know damn well it is Eyebrows," he said.

You rolled your eyes, "Oh please, not this again!" you groaned. "Does it ever get tiring of using the same old stupid nickname? Honestly, be more creative!" you told Levi, causing Hanji to let out a surprised laugh beside you, nearly spilling the beer from their mouth and covering it with a napkin.

Levi was about to retort, pointing his finger at you when Erwin interfered, reaching his hand across the table to gran the beer Nanaba offered him. "Thanks," he said before looking at you both. "Now you two, is there ever a day you both get along?"

"Hey! We get along just fine," you defended, looking surprised when everyone laughed. "Oh come on! We just have a sort of sibling relationship, fuck off," you said, feigning anger when you grabbed your drink and took a sip. 

Conversations once again picked up, this time with Erwin participating this time round. It was a nice relaxer before a day like tomorrow, and it was nice for you to see the Commander so at ease. Everyone knew how much he overworked himself, but all attempts to remove himself from his desk were rendered fruitless when he was so focused on his work. It was only at times like these did he allow himself to take time for himself, and times like these also helped everyone else.

Seeing their Commander with a slight smile and loose shoulders, enjoying himself, was a relieving sight for all soldiers. It could even be a sign of hope for some of them, much like yourself. With little driving you forward, other than the freedom of humanity, it was difficult to find reason in why you fight. It was not uncommon for you to question your goal when it seemed unattainable at times, but when the leader of it all seems to have the hope and the drive for it, it gave you the motivation to do the same.

But unfortunately, like most things, all good things come to an end and it was time for everyone to rest up for what tomorrow would bring. Clean-up and 'good nights' were done quickly, everyone departing towards their rooms, all but Erwin who stayed seated. He allowed you to take a few steps forward before calling out your name.

"I've decided on a definitive plan for you tomorrow," he started, standing up and making his way towards you. He tossed out his beer in the trash near you. "I'll need you with me. Miche can handle the cadets by himself, and should he need help Nanaba is going with him. I don't yet know what tomorrow is going to bring, and you're one of our best when it comes to easing a tricky situation. We need you on the front lines, so you'll come with me."

His tone gave no room for questions, Erwin's plan was settled and nothing would change. Still, you replied with an, "understood sir," before making your way to your room again. You paused when you reached the door, and without turning around, said, "good night Erwin."

"Good night," he responded, a hint of a smile in his voice. Allowing the doors to shut behind you, you walked up the stairs and into your room, deciding to take a quick, cool shower. The cool, almost warm, water helped to clear your thoughts so you only focused on the temperature of the water. It wasn't your usual or go to temperature, but on nights like this, it was a good way to get your mind off things without writing yourself to death.

Once out of the shower, you dried yourself, brushed your death, and did your usual nightly arrangements before walking towards the bed. You took a few minutes to think to yourself, like you did most nights, and allowed for yourself to soak in the silence. Zoning in on one particular spot in the ceiling, you thought about tomorrow.

Everything about this plan Erwin had come up with was a gamble. It relied on the soldiers there to capture Annie without trouble, but there would be no idea what would happen. Stohess was in the center of civilization, in Wall Sina, and the fear of Annie transforming into a titan within that wall was frightening to you.

You had good reason to be frightened too, with what the results of this plan, this gamble, could mean for you and for many. However, while many feared for the lives of their family and themselves, you feared the truth that may arise, because although discovery could be a great thing, change was often terrifying in a world ruled by titans.

But, Erwin had trust in himself and his soldiers. He believed that sacrificing lives for change was necessary in war, much like many leaders before him would agree. Death was a result of war, and Erwin risked people's lives. However, he was a gambler after all.

And he would regret that by the time the sun set tomorrow night.

[thomaslightwood]

Blackthorn Detective Agency - Part 2

Part 1 || Ao3 || Masterlist

This is the KitTy Sherlock AU! (Just changed its name with something more like a fic's title)

It’s set in 1930s, slow burn & will have a few parts!

Words: 3 024

Ty rubbed his fingertips on the frame. It was old, its angels were soft. 

“Peru, 1890,” he read at the bottom of the photo. “This photograph is from more than 40 years ago.”

Which wasn’t unusual for a warlock - they lived for centuries. To keep photos from 40 years ago was logical. But why was this the only thing in this flat that was actually… personal? 

“It's the only personal piece here,” Kit said. Ty almost smiled - they had the exact same thought. “Probably in the whole flat, except the Spanish books.”

“You have a point,” Ty agreed. Between the pages of that book were papers with conjugated verbs in Spanish. Someone had written them there and Ragnor had copied them. That’s why Ty knew this wasn’t Ragnor’s handwriting on the photo. “But this is not his-”

A sharp sound interrupted him. It was the front door. Someone was trying to break it. Not as good at it as Kit, Ty noticed.

They had no time to worry too much. Ty grabbed Kit by the hand, opened the wood door with the other that was still holding the frame and dragged them both inside.

Ty was conscious he overstepped in Kit's personal space but a moment later they heard how the stranger broke the lock and their steps as they came inside.

The room was small and extremely dark. Ty couldn't see anything and he didn't have the space to draw a rune on himself about it. And he actually didn't have his stele in him. The bigger problem - the room was unknown to them. He was worried if they moved too much they'd make noise and would be exposed.

He heard or rather felt how Kit's breath fastened. Was he claustrophobic? Was it a bad idea to bring them in this small room?

Ty heard the slow steps as they were wandering around the room. They were coming dangerously close to the bedroom.

This was probably inappropriate and Ty didn't know if it would help at all but he must try. He carefully raised a hand and hurried it in Kit's hair. He dragged him closer to Ty until Kit's head was in Ty's neck.

He squeezed a little and Kit pressed against Ty. They both hold into each other in the sea of darkness, trying not to lose balance.

Ty was hearing the stranger's step in the room. They murmured something angrily. Ty was barely breathing. If they heard him and Kit in the closet…

A loud shatter interrupted his thoughts. Ty recognized it was a man's voice by the angry murmur. 

For a few more minutes he walked around the apartment, like he… he was searching for something. And he couldn't find it. Eventually the man breathed out heavily and opened the door, not bothering to shut it quietly after himself.

They waited a few more minutes, just to be safe. Then Ty carefully let go of Kit and opened the door. The sudden light hurt his eyes so he squinted for a while to get used to it.

The bed was untouched but Ty couldn't say the same about the living room. There were books on the floor, the table was inverted.

“He was searching for something,” Kit quietly said as he carefully grabbed a book from the floor. Was Ty imagining it or his face was a little flushed?

“Yes,” Ty agreed. He was still holding the frame with the photo. “But what? Could it possibly be this?” He handed the frame to Kit.

Kit took it and shrugged. “Maybe. But why is one old photo important?”

More questions. Even though they were in the very beginning and everything was unclear, Ty felt the thrill every new case evoked in him. The burning curiosity that tickled his insides, the thirst to know everything about the subject.

“I think we should go,” Kit said. He took the photo off the frame and put it in the pocket of his coat. “They may return or a neighbor heard the noise.”

Kit had a point, Ty thought but there was something that made him feel uneasy.

Kit was heading for the door but Ty slowed down before leaving the flat. He looked around once more. The books on the floor, the almost empty shelves and the open door to the bedroom. Ty grabbed one list with Spanish verbs and closed the door after himself.

      After this they went to the train station. It was surprisingly hard to find the schedule for the trains from a few days ago.

The guy they talked with wasn't happy about it. Kit could see he just wanted to enjoy his lunch. And probably was tempted to call the security to throw them out. 

But then Ty pulled out cash and the man was suddenly more friendly.

Ty didn't talk much nor did he look man in the eyes. Kit was feeling like he just wanted to get the information as fast as possible.

After the man was gone for a few minutes he returned with paper with what they asked for.

“Thank you very much,” Kit said as Ty put the list in the inside of his coat. “We appreciate your help.”

The man murmured something and sat heavily on his chair, finally able to eat.

“That was smart,” Ty said as they came out on the street, waiting to catch a taxi. 

“What?” Kit asked.

“To ask for the people who worked on the train that day. I didn't think about it.”

“It's nothing, really. I was just thinking about what I can do to help yesterday.”

The truth was Kit just wanted to be useful. Part of him was afraid if Ty noticed Kit wasn't doing anything he would fire him. He probably wasn't as good as Sherlock but he could understand how a criminal thinks. What they may have missed.

“I assume you already know because you're good at what you do, but,” Kit said. “People are important. They witness, tell, see and do crimes. They... they are the driving machine. Evidence is important but a person is the key. So I just thought about what people we can talk with.”

There was something thoughtful in Ty's expression as he watched Kit's cheek. “I'm not quite sure I agree.”

Before Kit could answer, a taxi stopped in front of them. 

As soon as Ty told the driver the direction, Kit said “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why don't you agree with me?”

“Well,” Ty said and the thoughtful look returned on his face. “It's true a person is the subject that commits the crime. But people… they are not what they appear to be. They're often hard to understand and you can't be sure who they are. They lie. And have inaccurate memories and sometimes are too afraid to tell the truth and to help. What I'm trying to say is that they're too often an unreliable source. While evidence… it's unchangeable on its own. Oneself is true to the very end. It's up to you to interpret how it fits in the whole picture. If it's wrong, it's your mistake. You're the only one to blame. While a person's words… you can't control that. Or trust it enough to interpret it rightfully.“

Ty stopped for a second, looking outside the taxi's window.

“What I'm trying to say is that a person can mislead you. Evidence never does.”

Kit was silent. The taxi pulled over in front of a small cafe, nestled between two clothing shops. Taki's Diner .

Kit remembered this was the name of the place Katarina and Ragnor met.

“We are going to question the employees?”

“Not quite,” Ty said simply and headed towards the restaurant. Kit followed, curiously looking at the surroundings.

There weren't many people. It was still early and most of them seemed sleepy. There were Downworlders as well as mundanes. Kit spotted a warlock with fully orange eyes flirting with a pale girl, probably a vampire.

There was also a mundane man who was reading a newspaper and murmured something to himself.

Ty headed at one table on the back, a bit hidden from the rest. The tables around it were empty. From the radio quietly came a Louis Armstrong's song. Kit smiled at that. He loved jazz.

Ty and Kit sat on the table. Kit took off his coat and cap.

A faerie waitress appeared in front of them and smiled. She was a short blonde who had two many bracelets on her arms.

“Hello gentlemen,” she smiled at them. “Here are your menus - look at it, choose a meal and I'll come to take your order.”

“Thank you,” Kit smiled at her. She winked in return and headed towards another table.

He returned his eyes on Ty. He had taken off his coat. It was carefully placed on the third chair on the table. He was looking around the cafe, touching the corners of his menu.

“If we're not here to interview the staff,” Kit said. “What are we here for?”

“To watch,” Ty said simply. “Observe. Talk with the regular clients.”

Kit looked around again, looking for something else this time. A woman who Kit immediately recognized as faerie sat on a table, crossed her legs and took out a book from her bag.

The waitress returned after a few minutes.

“Are you ready?” She had a notebook and pencil in her hands.

Kit hesitated. He didn't want to spend too much money but nothing here was too expensive.

“Onion omelet for me.” 

“Chipped potatoes please.”

She hurriedly wrote their orders down and smiled again. “Is that all?”

“Yes, thank you,” Ty said.

“Actually,” Kit said suddenly. Ty quickly looked at him but didn't say anything. He looked at the waitress pin with her name. “Nancy, right? My friend and I were wondering about something and it would be amazing if you can help us.”

“Of course,” she said and curiosity burned in her eyes. They were very blue.

“We thought a friend of ours arrived in the city a few days ago. He tends to like this place and we were wondering if he was here a few days ago perhaps?”

“What is he like?” she asked.

Kit took out the photo from Peru of Ragnor and his friends. 

She took and Kit could see on her face she recognized someone in the photo. She nodded enthusiastically.

“I have seen two of these people! The man with the white hair. He was here around three days ago with the woman.”

“Can you tell us something… unusual you noticed about them?”

The waitress - Nancy - shrugged.

“The usual warlocks. They stayed for an hour or two and then left. At the end of my shift he returned though.”

“Really?” Kit said casually, like he was merely curious for a friend. “Was he alone?” Then he leaned forward a little and said more quietly with a playful smile. “We suspect he may hide a lover from us.”

The faerie chuckled. “I don't know sweetheart. When I was leaving he just sat on a table. I left before seeing anything. You can ask my friend Lizzy. She was the one who took his order.”

“Oh. When can we find her?” Kit asked. 

“She starts at 11 p.m. Earlier if it's cloudy.”

She must be a vampire , Kit thought.

“Thank you so much,” Kit smiled at her one more time. “We deeply appreciate it.”

“You're welcome,” she chuckled again and left them alone.

Kit turned to Ty and caught him watching him.

“You see?”

Ty looked confused. “See what?”

“People are useful. You need witnesses.”

Unexpectedly, Ty smiled. It warmed up something in Kit's chest.

“I have never said I don't.”

“But you hinted at it.”

“I did not,” Ty said. Without taking his eyes off Kit he reached to his coat and pulled off his notebook. “I stated that people are often misleading.”

“But when I said people are important for a case, you said you're not sure you agree.”

“You also said a person is the key. With which I'm not sure I agree. I didn't say a person can't or isn't important.”

Kit exhaled. Damn , he thought. He is good.

“Good. You win. This time.”

Ty shook his head with a smile. He started to write something on the open notebook in front of him. Probably the information the faerie told them.

After a few minutes their meals arrived. Onion omelet and chipped potatoes. Ty barely looked at his food. At some point he finished writing and took the fork for the potatoes.

“So,” Kit said after swallowing a bite from the omelet. “If you're Sherlock Holmes then who am I?”

“What do you mean?” Ty glanced at him.

“Well,” Kit slowly cut out another bite from his food. “You and Livvy are a team. And you're Sherlock. I can't be a Sherlock with you. I'm not her. So I probably need another name.” 

“Good point,” Ty said. He looked thoughtful while he chewed. “How do you wanna be called then?”

Kit was caught off guard a little. He expected Ty to dismiss it or leave it for later.

“I haven't thought about it,” Kit admitted and slowly moved an omelet piece from one side of the plate to the other.

“We can think about it later,” Ty said. “My sister can help us with that.”

“You mean Livvy?”

“No,” Ty said, looking around the restaurant. “My other sister, Dru.”

Kit blinked at him. “How many siblings do you have?”

“Three sisters and three brothers,” Ty said and took a potato piece in his mouth.

“Whoa,” Kit said, forgetting the food in front of him. “Big family.”

“Indeed.”

Kit wondered what it would be like to have so many relatives. So many brothers and sisters. People close to you, to thrust, to be sure they would have your back. 

His father's voice rang in his head. And more people to run away with. Harder to get away. Harder to live with.

The food's taste in Kit's mouth turned into ash. He lost his appetite. Carefully left on the fork and the knife in the plate. 

Ty didn't seem to notice Kit's inner thought for which he was glad.

“The woman,” Ty said quietly. “The one faerie that sat after we came. She's a regular.”

“How would you know?” unconsciously, Kit leaned forward to hear what Ty had to say.

“Nancy, the waitress, didn’t ask her for her order. She even didn’t give her a menu. She directly put a coffee and a muffin in front of her. And the woman called Nancy by name - they know each other.”

“Impressive,” Kit murmured inattentively. “So, you want to talk with her?”

“Well,” Ty shrugged. “A few minutes ago - yes. Now, when we know Ragnor was here at nighttime, at the end of Nancy’s shift, I’m not sure she’d be useful.”

Kit rose up. “Let's find out.”

After a few minutes in which Kit started a conversation with her about borrowing the salt, he returned to their table with a salt shaker. He signed, disappointed.

“Nothing,” Kit said. “She had no idea what I'm talking about. And thought I'm just flirting with her.” 

“Were you?”

“What?” Kit blinked.

“Flirting with her,” Ty said, not taking his eyes off the notebook in front of him.

“Well,” Kit felt a little uncomfortable. “Yes, I kind of did. But it was just for the sake of the case. I'm not… interested in her that way.” 

Ty glanced at Kit's face for a few seconds then returned to writing in his notebook. Kit didn't notice. He was suddenly anxious that Ty would think of him as a flirting careless man. 

“Sometimes,” Kit started, carefully picking his words. “I flirt with people to get what I want. When I was in my early teens - to get away with something.”

Ty curiously gave him a glance.

“Did you have to do it often?”

“Well,” Kit said thoughtfully. “No, no that often. But I did it anyway. I… I think I liked to give strangers pieces of me that are… safe to give. And gender doesn't matter to me anyway.” Nothing too personal. Nothing long. Only a flirt, a few minutes of other people's time. The only kind of relationship Kit could afford.

“I can see why people like you,” Ty said, rolling the pen in his hands. “You're a rather charming man.”

Kit couldn't help but laugh.

Ty frowned.

“Did I say something out of place?”

Kit shook his head. “No, no. It's just that I don't think I'm charming. Or that people like me . ”

"Charm" was an abstract idea for him. He may pass for good looking but he didn't think of himself as "charming". Charm meant power. It attracted people to you. It made them like you. 

Kit didn't make people like him. He let them make an idea for him in their heads and allowed them to believe it. This wasn't a charm. It was lying.

Ty arched an eyebrow.

“Well. I would say I like you,” then he returned his gaze back at his notebook, adding something to the already written text.

His words caught Kit completely off-guard. He was holding his fork and it just levitated in space. 

Kit didn't know how to react. No one before had said something like that to him. He knew Ty probably said it to make him feel better. But something made him think Ty Blackthorn didn't say things he doesn't mean.

“Anyway,” Ty said and closed his notebook. “We're done here.”

“Really? What about questioning the waitress Lizzy?”

“We will return here after sunset for this,” Ty said. “But now we can do something more useful with our time.”

Kit felt dread in his stomach. He couldn't stay after dark. Or could he? Would his father notice? He always did. 

Should he tell Ty? No, no, he was going to figure something out.

“What are we going to do now?” he asked, hoping Ty didn't notice anything strange.

He looked at the watch on his hand.

“We will meet my sister. Dru.”

To be continued...

[lilacsnid]

『1』 𝐈𝐧 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝:  — 𝒏𝒆𝒘𝒕 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

In which way Newt is there for the girl who ends up losing her best friend — Ben, to the maze. 

PART 2

A/N: ask permission to use or re-post my work, please do not steal or plagiarize my writing x 

Flashbacks/earlier events are in italics :)

©lilacsnid

— THE Glade fell into an eerie silence as soon as the maze doors sealed shut with a low rumble. 

Tension was thick in the air between the once boisterous gladers. Despite the events that had just taken place only moments ago, no one had dared to speak. The day has begun like any other. In no way did Y/N expect the world she knows to come crashing down in only a matter of hours. 

Y/N had arrived in The Glade almost two years ago. Being the only girl in The Glade came with it’s challenges, but she got along well with the other gladers and absolutely adored the job she had been given. After watching her skills, Alby gave her the role of working as the Keeper for the Med-jacks.

From the Med-jack hut, she had watched as Newt sent Thomas into the Deadheads to dig up some more fertilizer for Zart and himself as they worked in the gardens. 

She continued to rummage through the crate of supplies, most of it consisting of bandages and hydrogen peroxide that she had requested for the Slicers that came to see Clint, Jeff and herself in the med-jack hut on the daily for the small cuts and abrasions that they always managed to obtain while working in the Blood House.  

Within minutes, all the supplies were packed away and Y/N lifted her gaze to look back at the lanky, blonde Track-hoe. His orange singlet and milky skin made him stand out from the other guys who were working around the glade in the heat. Along with Ben, it was no secret that Y/N and Newt had grown inseparable ever since she came up in the box. Ben was her best friend, but she had always felt something different when it came to Newt. Her feelings for the tall shank continued to grow every day. However, it was unknown to her that Newt felt the exact same way towards her. The pair grew protective of one another, always being there to offer each other comfort and support whenever it was needed.

They ate meals and hung out together in the spare time that they had when they weren’t expected to work. Newt had a special habit of being the last person to bid her goodnight before she went to sleep and the first person to greet her when the pair woke up in the early hours of the morning.

She enjoyed starting off her days with Newt. She accompanied him each morning in The Glade as he’d meet with Ben and Minho. Before the pair would run into the maze, he’d be there to tell them to be careful and to make it back in one piece. She’d playfully roll her eyes at Ben as his gaze teasingly darted in the direction of the girl who always stood by Newt’s side. 

Since Ben was a runner, and spent his days running and mapping the maze with Minho, Y/N only ever got to see him properly as he returned back into The Glade before dusk. She consulted in Ben with everything, including her secrets and all her troubles. Ben had always jokingly teased Y/N about her feelings towards Newt which she thought everyone was oblivious to. They had grown accustomed to each other’s mannerisms and traits after months of living together in The Glade. 

It’s almost as if Newt could feel her eyes on him. His hands dropped to rest on his hips as he glanced over his shoulder in the direction of the Med-jack hut, grinning from ear to ear as he caught the gaze of the beautiful girl from across the Glade. He lifted one of his hands to shield the harsh sun from his eyes in order to hopefully get a clearer shot of her. 

Unbeknown to Newt, the simple gesture made a rosy blush run over her  cheeks. She grinned back towards Newt as if it was contagious, raising her hand and waving in his direction.

The pair continued to work, unaware of the events that were about to unfold.

                    ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Y/N!” Newt yelled, as he struggled to hold Ben down, “Y/N, we need you over here!”

By the time Y/N had managed to push through the crowd of boys, she found Gally and Frypan who were helping Newt hold Ben down as he writhed beneath them. Her breath hitched in the back of her throat as shock ran through her body at the sight of her best friend. 

“Ben?!” She exclaimed, kneeling down beside Gally who was looking at her with expectant eyes, as well as all the other gladers.

“What the hell happened?” Frypan yelled around the circle, his eyes staying trained onto Ben.

“He just attacked me!” She heard Thomas, the newest Greenie, splutter out in a state of disturbance from where he stood above them. 

Ben had a large gash to the left side of his head, blood pooling down his cheek bone. However, the girl didn’t cower away at the sight of blood. Being a Med-jack, she has seen her fair share of injuries. She was never one to be scared at the sight of blood, which played an advantage to her role. When dealing with injuries, her calm persona would always rub off onto the boys. Especially the time when Gally stepped on a nail a few months back.

“Does anyone know how he got that gash?” She asked as she tried to get a closer look at the cut.

“Uh,” Newt breathed shakily, his blonde hair almost falling in front of his eyes as he peered over towards her, “Y/N, he was choking Thomas and had him pinned down. He wouldn’t stop, I needed to get him off-”

She cut him off, quickly tying her hair up to prevent it from falling in front of her eyes, “Newt, it’s okay, you did the right thing.” 

Out of habit, her eyes scanned the rest of his body, searching for any other possible injuries. His breathing was becoming more erratic by the second and he was mumbling incoherent sentences, making Y/N’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. 

“Ben, what the hell’s going on?” She questioned him, hoping for a response. But she never got one. 

“C’mon mate, talk to us,” Newt muttered from where he was kneeling on the opposite side of him, searching Ben’s eyes for any sign of normality.

Alby must have heard the racket, because within minutes, he was pushing through the crowd of gladers, watching as the four of them kneel around Ben. It was almost as if something clicked inside Alby as his whole persona changed at the sight of Ben. 

“Alright, lift his shirt!” Alby ordered, his face remained stern and neglected any type of emotion. 

Ben’s head shot up at his words and he began to writhe again, even more frantically than before.

“No, please!” Ben screamed, as the others struggled to hold him down, “Please, I didn’t mean to do it!”

Without a second thought, Y/N tugged Ben’s shirt up, the sight making her heart drop completely. It was like time stood still, a thousand thoughts running through her mind all at once. All she could do was stare at his exposed skin. 

Ben had a puncture wound on his stomach, right over the lower part of his rib cage. It was small but it looked deep. Purple, streaky veins spread around the wound, across the pale skin of his stomach.

Newt eyes widen at the daunting sight, and the sound of curses and gasps from the other gladers filled the air.  

“He’s been stung,” she concluded, her eyes never once leaving the wound. It now all made sense. 

He must have been separated from Minho at some point in the maze. He got stung and somehow made his way back into The Glade without anyone realizing. 

Alby knelt down beside her as Y/N traced her fingers around the skin on Ben’s stomach, her cold fingertips against his hot skin making him squirm. 

Gally’s expression was no longer one of anger, but of concern, “In the middle of the day?”   

It was now Y/N’s turn to let out a shaky breath, hanging her head low and closing her eyes for a few moments. She could feel herself becoming light-headed as severe worry started to bubble in the pit of her stomach at what this could mean for her best friend now. 

Newt had pretty good idea on what Y/N was thinking in this moment. He knew what was in store for Ben, the realization made him feel sick. He knew how close Y/N and Ben were, he didn’t want to break her heart. Tears began to well up in her eyes as Ben began to whimper. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Alby and Newt sharing a look. Y/N knew deep down what it meant, but she didn’t want to even dwell on it. 

Not even a second later, Alby tore his eyes away from Newt as his stood back onto his feet, “Put him in the pit.”

A quiet whimper left Y/N’s lips as Ben started to kick his legs and scream out his pleas. She leaned forward, grabbing onto his hand that was pinned above his head. 

“Ben, please,” she hushed, trying to rub soothing circles into the palm of his hand, but his lashing was too much, “You have to calm down.”

Her ears starting ringing and her head began to ache. Newt called for the other Med-jacks and Gally yelled at Ben, trying to calm him down more forcefully. But it was no use. 

Soon enough the Gladers were on their feet, lifting Ben up as they all worked to together to try and keep him still as possible. 

“Guys, be careful with him!” Y/N cried. She could hear Ben calling for her. 

The small group began trudging way with Ben in tow, causing Y/N’s hand to get snatched away from Ben grasp in the process. She could feel many eyes on her from the remaining Gladers and tears running down her cheeks as she watched the group walk further away. 

As she began to get more lost in her thoughts, she felt someone’s hand link with hers, a smaller hand. 

She looked down to her right to find Chuck at her side, his curly locks of hair being his most distinctive feature. His face was laced with hurt and he squeezed her hand, a way of him letting her know that he was there for her. 

Chuck was like a younger brother to her, and she couldn’t be more grateful to have him by her side in that moment. 

                     ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“He’s dangerous, and it’s only gonna get worse.”

Y/N paced outside the wooden door of the Council Hall, her hands rubbing over her eyes as her tears continued to fall. Inside, she could hear Alby, Minho and Newt talking, discussing the fate of her best friend. 

Ben was going through The Changing. The poison that had entered his body was spreading fast and it was only going to get worse, Y/N knew that. She also knew that it was now down to Alby to make a decision based on the safety of everyone in the Glade. Their welfare had to come first, above all else.

Once someone started to go through this phase, there was next to no chance of getting them back. 

Y/N wished there was something she could do, anything to save the life of her best friend. But the longer she waited outside the Council Hall, the thought of Ben being banished became too agonizing to bear. Alby wasn’t going to back down, and Y/N could feel her heart slowly starting to break. 

After a few minutes, Minho was the first to storm out of the Council Hall, startling Y/N from her heavy thoughts in the process. She wasn’t sure when he had returned back from the maze, but nonetheless, she was glad to see him safe. He met her eyes, and all the girl could see was sympathy. Alby came out next, with Newt trailing closely behind him. 

“We need to get organised, gather what you can,” Alby spoke to Minho, trying his best to avoid the girl’s gaze. 

In that moment, Y/N’s heart shattered. Those words were all she needed to acknowledge Ben’s sealed fate. Her tears continued to fall, more uncontrollably and her chest tightened as it suddenly became hard to breathe. 

Newt had tried his absolute hardest to talk Alby around the idea of banishing Ben. He noted that the thought of it was too rash and perhaps they could grant him more time, to keep an eye on him and see where things could go. For Y/N’s sake. But it was no good. Alby outright refused, just as Newt expected. His safety for the Gladers being his main concern. 

As Newt tried to make his way over to Y/N, she stormed off in the direction of the Med-jack hut where Ben had recently been moved to after he had calmed down in the pit. Newt knew she would want to have time with him, to say goodbye. 

“You know this is going to break her heart,” Newt retorted. His eyes meeting with the first in command as they watched her stumble across The Glade. 

Alby sighed heavily, shaking his head in response, “What else would you have me do? If we keep him here he’s just going to get even more dangerous than he already is, and I can’t risk having anymore close calls. I know you care about her, we all do. But this has to be done, we have no other choice.”

The blonde nodded hesitantly, knowing deep down that what Alby spoke was the truth. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if something were to happen to her. The three Gladers stood together in silence for a few seconds before Newt parted ways with them, following after Y/N as quick as his limp would take him. 

                      ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The frail girl found herself by Ben’s side. Jeff had given him a sedative, knocking him out into a deep sleep.

His hands were bound to the bed, the restraints making his wrists red, no doubt from all the tugging. But she was now able to hold his hand. She continued to weep for her best friend, the hot tears coming on stronger every time she peered over at his sleeping figure. 

She tried so desperately to take in every remaining detail and feature of Ben’s, wanting to have him etched perfectly into her mind for the rest of her days. Although the Ben she knew was gone, she would always remember him for who he was before this infection spread through his body and took over. It hurt her more than words could say as she remembered back to when she said goodbye to him this morning. Just before he set off into the maze, they had pulled each other in for a hug. 

A sob racked through her body at the very memory, as that was the last time she had saw him as him. Just how he used to be: kind, caring and full of love. 

She leaned down from her chair, placing a kiss to the back of his palm, cradling his hand to her forehead, “I’m so sorry, Ben.”

Y/N continued to shed her tears, beginning to lose herself. Until she felt a presence beside her. She heard them crouch down by her side, placing an arm to rest on the back of her chair and the other on her thigh cautiously, rubbing soothing circles through the fabric of her black cargo pants. 

“Love,” the boy whispered, brushing the fallen strands of hair from the side of her face.

Newt. His soft and mellow voice relaxed the girl as it sounded through the painful silence that filled the room. 

That’s all that was needed for Y/N to lift her head from it’s place, where it rested, to catch a glimpse of the boy that she loved ever so deeply. Newt felt a pang in his chest at the sight of her bloodshot eyes and defeated expression. 

What broke him even more was the fact that he knew there was nothing he could say that could make her feel better or to stop the unimaginable pain that she was going through.

“What am I going to do without him?” Y/N whispered, a stray tear falling down her cheek which Newt was quick to reach up and wipe away gently with the back of his fingers. 

Newt knew the question she had asked was a rhetorical one, yet he still found himself trying to search for answers, anything to soothe her pain. 

“I tried, love. I really did, for you,”  He continued to speak softly.

She watched Newt’s expression change as she turned in her chair to face him completely. Leaning forward, she placed her weak hands on his shoulders, feeling the fleecy material of his white jumper that he now had on. Newt’s right hand remained on her leg, still tracing patterns into her skin. 

Without any warning, Y/N soon jumped forward. Wrapping her arms around Newt’s neck, pleading for an embrace. Newt steadied himself, remaining in his crouched position before wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her tightly, as if he was scared of her crumbling in his arms. 

“P-please,” She sobbed into his neck, not wanting to let go, “Don’t take him away from me.”

There wasn’t much left of the day, which meant Y/N’s time to say goodbye to her best friend was slowly slipping away.  

                      ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Each boy stood in a circle around the maze doors as they had closed, all stealing glances towards Alby in anticipation, waiting for their leader to speak up. Y/N watched as Alby glanced at Frypan on his left, then again to Newt on his right, before dropping the wooden pole that was still in his hands onto the grass below. The sudden loud noise made her shoulders jerk in surprise. 

His gaze soon reluctantly landed on the girl. 

He studied her tear-stained cheeks with furrowed eyebrows. The look on his face was one that Y/N was struggling to understand. 

“He belongs to the maze now,” Alby declared, his voice lacking any tone of emotion.

All the Gladers hung their heads low, after everything that has happened, it was never easy losing one of their own. Alby began to make his way towards the girl who happened to be standing away from the group with Chuck at her side. As he passed her, his movements halted. 

Y/N could feel his heavy gaze that was trained onto her, making her whole body tense uncomfortably. Her own gaze was locked onto the ground and her eyes welled up with uncontrollable tears. With little warning, he lifted his hand to rest onto her shoulder. The girl was quick to glare up at him in disbelief, knowing it was just a matter of time before her emotions got the best of her. Alby has always been a good friend of hers, and she respected him highly. But there was no way that she could possibly bear to be in his presence after just losing her closest friend.  

Sobs that she was struggling to contain were forming at the back of her throat and before she could even think about what she was doing, she shoved his hand off her shoulder with a harsh slap. No one in the Glade has ever seen Y/N act like this before, so the sudden action shocked everyone. But the boys knew that her exertion was caused purely by her emotions, and rightfully so. 

Shocked himself by her sudden actions, Alby raised his hands in surrender and a sigh escaped from his lips. 

The sight absolutely destroyed Newt. All day he’d watched tears fall down the cheeks of the girl he had grown so fond of over the past couple of years. He knew this was just the beginning. The girl he loved was about to fall into a million pieces and he promised himself, there and then, that he would be there to pick her up and help her to recover in any way that he could. He knew the fallout of Ben’s banishment was going to be unimaginably tough, but he knew there was no other choice. And deep down, so did she.  

Her body shook as a hiccup left her lips, no doubt from the sobs that were now raking through her small and petite body. Y/N swiftly turned on her heels and trudged away from her fellow Gladers, wanting nothing else but to escape the heavy stares she was now receiving.

She could her Chuck and the new Greenie, Thomas, call out to her but she continued to ignore them as she reached her small hut, slamming the door shut behind her. Being a Builder, Gally had stepped up and built her own separate hut after she had been in The Glade for around 3 months. With her being the only girl, he knew she would benefit by having her own privacy. Somewhere where she could have her own space to sleep and some down time to herself. 

She forced her back against the door, barricading herself in as her body slid down the door, meeting the hard wooden surface that was just underneath her feet. Any self-control that she’d managed to keep completely left her all in that moment as she let out a blood-curdling scream. She soon clutched her chest, the tightening feeling becoming overwhelming. Her screams came to a halt once her throat began to burn. 

That’s when it started. She could feel a hollow pain in her heart, one that she knew would never go away.

The girl’s screams could be heard by everyone, all throughout The Glade. Newt screwed his eyes shut, now trying to fight back his own tears until she fell silent. He dropped his own makeshift pole against the maze doors and turned back around to be met with Thomas’ sympathetic glance. Despite the short time he had been in The Glade, it didn’t take long for the Greenie to decipher the special bond that had blossomed between Y/N and Newt. The pair had a bond stronger than anything, and Thomas wasn’t the only one who could see it. 

Newt cleared his throat, making eye contact with Thomas momentarily as he passed him, limping away from the maze doors. The others also started to gradually walk away, one by one and dispersing into small groups across The Glade. 

There was one place where Newt knew he needed to be right now: and that was with the girl he loved.  

[sirenprincess15]

Please Don't Leave Me Chapter 13

Title: Please Don’t Leave Me

Author: SirenPrincess

Description: What if Aleksander hadn’t answered the door when Ivan interrupted the war room kissing? What if Aleksander and Alina had a bit more time to get to know each other before Baghra told her his true identity? Alina is the only one who can comfort Aleksander through his nightmares. Will she leave once she knows who he is?

This story is based on the show version and features a soft on the inside, hard on the outside Aleksander with an emphasis on emotional hurt/comfort and angst. If you are looking for lots of hurt!Aleksander thoughts, then this story is for you. Mal exists but pretty much solely to cause Aleksander some angst. Don’t worry. It will be a Darklina ending.

Chapter 1 is a missing scene at the end of Ep 4, and Chapter 2 takes place alongside Ep 5 and then diverges from canon there.

Pairings: Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov, bits of Ivan/Fedyor

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Grisha are oppressed in this universe, and I don’t shy away from showing the horrors of that. There may eventually be mentions of canon-typical torture (Fjerdan pyres), death of family members, and cruelty to Grisha children. It’s not the focus, but that backdrop is definitely there and comes up as characters discuss their past.

In this chapter: Angsty Aleksander considers possibilities for handling Alina now that she knows the truth. Fedyor discusses his relationship with Ivan. This chapter is a deep dive into Aleksander's thoughts and emotions as he fears Alina will choose to be with Mal.

Chapter 13

Aleksander stared at his favorite painting in the war room. It was a vivid picture of the sky with a vibrant sun; the rays flooded down into the dark sea. He gently reached his hand up to touch one of the rays, but it was just paint on canvas. It couldn’t actually warm. He wondered if this was as close to sunlight as his war room would ever see again. Alina was with the tracker, and surely she was never coming back.

Oh he was trying to convince himself that she would realize the tracker was no match for her, perhaps if he just let them meet and talk it through she’d figure it out on her own, but he knew he was fooling himself. Without any real hope, he’d gone through the motions--summoned the tracker for her, given him accommodations in a suite even, allowed them to meet alone. Now it was late in the night and Ivan was guarding outside the suite. He’d promised to send word to Aleksander if their heartbeats changed, for any reason. Aleksander tried not to think about that even as the image of the tracker putting his hands all over her body refused to leave his mind. Perhaps she would remember he’d been kind in 50 years when she realized the mortality of the tracker. Maybe it would only be 30. The tracker certainly couldn’t hold her attraction for long.

But if she chose the tracker, there was the dilemma of what to do about her power, and that was why he was already on his second bottle of kvas. He knew what needed to be done, but he wasn’t sure that his heart could do it. He would have to force her to use her power the way they needed. There really was no choice. The lives and safety of all Grisha depended on their powers. It wasn’t something he could just give up because she had a crush on her little mortal friend. The tracker would never agree to any of his plans, and Alina would listen to him. Aleksander was very much regretting not choosing that army accident for the tracker, but then there was the matter of possibly needing him for the Stag, which Alina had to have for anything to go right. Aleksander sighed and refilled his glass. Truly, the choices were going to end up being manipulating her into using her power as he saw fit or trusting David’s idea of how to get control of it. To manipulate her, he would have to use the tracker, which meant letting her be with him now. And, of course, there was still that unlikely possibility she might actually pick him. It was a laughably remote possibility, but his heart wouldn’t let him make choices that closed that option off.

He had been playing this game of long chess for centuries. He was well accustomed to making the difficult choices, to realizing you had to sacrifice something that meant a great deal to you to make it to the end game. This game was different, though. Everything changed when you truly loved one of the pawns and wanted to make her your queen.

He tried to focus his attention back on the painting, but all Aleksander could see was the look of hatred in Alina’s eyes when she called him the Black Heretic. All he could hear was her screaming about all he had done wrong. How would she look at him if he collared her and took control of her with David’s idea? How much worse might it be if he threatened to kill the oh-so-precious Mal to get her to do what he wanted? But he didn’t want any of those things. He wanted her to choose him, to help him defend all Grisha, together. The possibilities of how things might go if she didn’t wouldn’t leave his mind. He had seen now how she stared at him when she was filled with hate. Could he bear her looking at him like that to protect Grisha? Could he bear failing all Grisha just to get her to smile at him again? It was enough to fill his eyes with tears and make his jaw tremble, but even here, alone, protected in his office, he could not let himself let those walls down and feel. He was too dangerous when he let himself become overtaken with emotions.

A knock at the door startled him. It was well into the night. No one would come to disturb him … unless Ivan had sent them with news of Alina’s heartbeat. Was she having sex with the tracker right now? Surely the tracker hadn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t dare in his palace. Aleksander strode across the room to answer the door.

“Fedyor?” Aleksander’s voice rose with surprise. He paused a moment for the heartrender to explain his presence, but the man seemed quite flustered that he’d actually answered the door. “I do recall giving you specific instructions to get some rest because I might need you to guard Alina in the morning.”

“Um, yes, about that …”

Aleksander waited. Fedyor opened his mouth to speak several times, grimaced apparently at the words he was about to form, and then closed his mouth again. Aleksander raised an eyebrow in question but then tried to clear his head enough to analyze the behavior. The blush to Fedyor’s cheeks said he was embarrassed and it was clearly about something he didn’t want to admit. “You can’t sleep without Ivan,” he guessed.

Fedyor scrunched his face and shrugged his shoulders with unease. “I can’t sleep without Ivan,” he confirmed. “And if you’re truly going to need me in the morning, then you should know. But then I thought that if I am having trouble sleeping without Ivan, you might be missing Alina too. And maybe you might like some company? Ivan was worried about you.” He paused and shook his head. “Yeah, I hear myself now. I’ll show myself out.”

“You’re drunk!” Aleksander laughed. “You missed Ivan so much that you got yourself drunk.” And, yet, he was doing the exact same thing.

“A wee bit,” Fedyor said, holding up his fingers a small distance apart. “Am I going to be in trouble for not sleeping? I am in for it with Ivan if I upset you.”

Aleksander grabbed Fedyor by the arm and guided him in. “I should definitely reprimand you for disobeying orders,” Aleksander agreed. “Keep drinking with me and I will forget to do it.” He pulled a second glass from his desk drawer. It would have been Alina’s glass. Screw it all. He could work on having a well-oiled Grisha military machine that instantly obeyed any order tomorrow. Tonight, he actually could use the company.

“Drone on and on for me about the virtues of Ivan? Perhaps you will keep me distracted.” Aleksander tossed back his drink and then filled two glasses.

“You really love her that much, huh, sir?”

“We aren’t talking about me. We are talking about you and Ivan.” Aleksander tried to redirect, but his own thoughts were all over the place. “Did Ivan actually say he was worried about me?”

“He cares about you a great deal, sir. He’d prefer you to think he’s just a good soldier that has perfected anticipating your orders, but he considers you a friend. And, yes, he’s quite worried Alina will break your heart.”

His heart had been broken a long time ago, from betrayal after betrayal, from losing Luda, from seeing friend after friend die, from seeing his people suffer so severely for so long. Alina had just been the only one who could reach inside and hold together the pieces. Rather than cry about it, he had another drink. “You are not keeping up.”

Fedyor’s smile said he was more than happy to meet that challenge.

“Who else knows?”

“About …?”

“Miss Starkov not being in here. Have people started noticing?” It was silly to worry about bearing that humiliation. He was ancient. He could endure a few mortals noticing his girlfriend had left him. A few growls, maybe a few shadows at dinner time, and they would all snap into line and stop gossiping. Really, he had much bigger concerns to be worrying about, but perhaps because he did not want to think through those concerns any longer, he found it easier to focus on this problem that could potentially be solved.

Fedyor shook his head. “I have not heard gossip, sir, and believe me, when the Little Palace starts gossiping, I know. It’s not uncommon for the two of you to keep to your chambers and avoid meals. Only Ivan, Innessa, and I have been guarding her to know where she’s going. I think it will be a while before anyone notices anything amiss. Nadia would probably be the first because of her closeness with Alina. I could have her stationed at …”

“No,” Aleksander interrupted with a raised hand. “No, she is a good friend to Alina. In fact, I should encourage them to spend more time together. Give Alina a friend that is her future and not her past. Someone who lifts her up. Could you arrange for Nadia to invite Alina for some girl time or something tomorrow?” Perhaps that would get her away from the tracker. “Maybe Genya too.” He sighed heavily. “Unless Alina has realized Genya spies for me. I forgot to disclose that to her. I am going to be realizing things I hid and half truths I told her for some time. She thinks we should be 100% open and honest with each other on absolutely everything. Can you imagine?”

Fedyor nodded. “She does have a point. That is the best way for a relationship. It sounds hard, but there is something to be said for someone knowing you through and through to your core and still loving all of you the same.”

The words wounded as deep as the Cut could. Aleksander narrowed his eyes and stared at Fedyor with such anger, it was almost as if his gaze could cut back. Fedyor squirmed in his seat until he finally added, “Sorry, sir.”

“It’s fine,” Aleksander said. The pain was real, but it wasn’t Fedyor’s fault. Aleksander had thought Alina loved him. It was in her kisses, in her smile when he told a joke, in the way they made love. He had been so stupid to think that might mean that he could have what others had--true love, acceptance. He had thought that the problem with finding a true partner was his immortality. Alina had the potential to solve that issue, and it could have been amazing. He had almost forgotten he had centuries of shame that no one could ever possibly accept. It had never gone well when he had tried to confide in a friend along the years. The Black Heretic could never be forgiven. Ivan knew, but he was the exception, and Ivan accepted it only because he had seen so much horror in his own life. Aleksander was so dumb to think that Alina might possibly be able to accept him to his core, as Fedyor had said. Her rejection of his true self cut deep inside. It was a wound that would bleed and ache for centuries as he tried to learn how to function with her without her love. He could not blame her. His core was so dark, his mistakes so heinous, how could she possibly accept any of that? She had seen through to his core and hated what she saw there. Who could blame her?

“We are not drinking enough for this conversation,” he said while refilling their glasses and trying to shake off his dark thoughts.

“For what it’s worth, Ivan thinks you should just hold Alina down, force the Stag on her, and use David’s trick to gain her power. Then you don’t have to worry about her heart. I don’t know how he can say that. He would never do that to me. I don’t know why he expects you to be able to do it to her.”

“Ivan knows that the lives of all Grisha are dependent upon our using her power. We are trapped by the Fold, and our enemies are coming for us. Even our own people are turning on us. We need her to be able to protect all Grisha from persecution, death. He has seen … what happens when we don’t have that. And he knows that if we were to somehow lose control of her, her power, then they would come for us. He thinks we shouldn’t let the slaughter of all Grisha depend on a young woman’s whims, and he’s not wrong.”

“But you refuse because you love her?” Fedyor’s love for a good romance showed in his voice, even in his eyes.

“I love her,” Aleksander said without hesitation. “But even I would struggle to justify refusing for that reason alone. Using an amplifier to transfer power is a theory. Untested. We don’t actually know what that would do. What if it hurts her? What if it hurts her power, diminishes it? We cannot risk losing Alina’s power or the Stag. That amplifier is too rare to take chances with. Until David’s technique is proven, we cannot take the chance. I’ve authorized him to begin developing it. I will let him test it on a willing subject, but not Alina. I have a guard whose Grisha power never developed. He is a good man, and he is willing to sacrifice for our cause. His partner is Grisha. David will see if he can get it to work with a minor amplifier with them. Then, we shall see.”

“That is well thought out, sir.”

Aleksander shrugged. Thinking, strategizing, planning, those were his strengths. Love? This was all foreign to him, but not to Fedyor. Aleksander had an expert in a solid relationship right in front of him. “So tell me, Fedyor, if you needed to use Ivan’s power to save all Grisha, what would you do?”

“Then I would talk to him about it, sir.”

“And if that didn’t persuade him?”

“Then I guess I would talk some more. I cannot imagine … forcing, that would never work.”

Aleksander sighed. Fedyor was right, of course. Alina would never forgive him for forcing her if it came to that. It was just that it was the fate of all Grisha on their shoulders. “And if he preferred to just sleep with another man instead?” That stupid tracker would be the ruin of everything.

“Then I think I’d probably kill him.” Fedyor laughed. “The other man, that is. Heart attack seems perfectly appropriate in those circumstances.”

“That, I’m sure, could be arranged.” They both laughed. Better to fantasize about the tracker’s death than let his pain, loss, stress, and worry consume him.

The creak of someone in the hall pulled Aleksander’s attention. Ivan was guarding Alina and the tracker. With Fedyor with him, he wasn't sure who else might come to his chambers so late in the night. Just as he was signaling the danger to Fedyor, she appeared in the doorway and instantly took his breath away.

“Alina …” He hadn't expected to see her this evening, certainly not so late. What could it mean? Was she there to tell him off some more? To announce her plans with the tracker? The thought made him feel ill.

Her eyes took in the state of the office--empty bottles of kvas everywhere, a very drunk Fedyor jumping to greet her then stumbling back. “Okay, what is this?” She laughed as she tried to help Fedyor back to his chair. “I have to know what is happening here.”

Ivan appeared right behind her shoulder, only steps behind. “It appears General Kirigan is trying to get my husband drunk.”

“Or am I trying to get General Kirigan drunk so he stops stressing about what Alina is doing?” Fedyor slurred a few of the words. He flashed a big smile as he tapped his head as if he had this brilliant idea no one else had thought of.

“Sir, do you want me to stay with her or return to the tracker?” Ivan checked.

“Oh this is ridiculous!” Alina interrupted before he could even think it through. “Mal has been asleep for hours, he's not hurting anyone, and we don't need a babysitter. Let Ivan get Fedyor to bed to sleep this off. He is going to need it.”

She knew he never allowed her without a guard. Did that mean she was staying? He couldn't let his heart hope. He tried to read her intent before he finally turned to Ivan and nodded his approval. Ivan had to half carry Fedyor out the door.

“I didn't expect to see you tonight,” he whispered once they were alone.

“It's your turn to sleep,” she said matter-of-factly.

“You would still …?”

“Were the nightmares fake?”

He shook his head slightly to say no even as the shame of his weakness flooded over him. He wasn't sure how he could even fake something like that. “You know now what drives them.”

“And I really make them better?”

He gave a sharp nod. Her warmth was the only thing that kept them at bay.

“Then I'm here.”

“What does the tracker think of that?” He should hold his tongue, accept what she was offering, but he couldn't help wondering if she had been with him. Surely Ivan would have mentioned it if the tracker got her heart racing. Had his lips been on her? She was Aleksander’s soulmate, and she had spent the start of the night with another man.

“Mostly he thinks I should cut your head off in your sleep. I'm working on discouraging that.”

She wouldn’t. He knew that. She clearly meant it as a joke. “Do you love him?” The words were out before he could stop himself. The kvas was loosening his tongue, he realized. He knew better than to ask questions he didn’t want to hear the answer to.

She was taken aback. “He is my … home, family, support … comfort.” She was struggling to describe it.

There were a lot of words missing there, important words--passion, happiness, love, partner. Didn’t she notice that? “He makes you think that you are not enough, but you are. He holds you back, and you let him.”

She sighed. “I didn’t come here to fight about Mal. Maybe you need to sleep this off too.”

He wanted to push, to make her realize how wrong the boy had always been for her, how he had hurt her, held her back, likely without ever even intending to. But he also didn’t want to irritate her and didn’t want her to leave. “I’m sorry.”

She nodded. “Come on, let’s get you to sleep. A few hours at least, and then you can fetch Ivan to guard me again.”

It felt awkward somehow undressing in front of her now, but he certainly wasn’t sleeping in his kefta and leather. He turned his back as he removed them, but secretly, he hoped she was looking, remembering what they had, longing for it. He didn’t dare turn to glance behind his back to know, though. He feared if she was turned away, if she was repulsed by him now that she knew who he was, it would crush him. With his black sleeping robes on, he gave her warning before looking up. “Okay, I’m ready.”

She climbed into bed and motioned for him to join. It was almost as it had been before, except that everything important wasn’t. She didn’t trust him. He wasn’t sure if she even still loved him. Their bodies were the same, but he did not feel the same comfort in her as he pulled her to his chest. They were going through some of the motions to get him to sleep, but nothing was the same. There would be no sex. Tears filled his eyes as he truly realized all he had lost the moment she found out his true identity, not just the orgasm he would not have, but the intimacy with her, the connection with someone who could be a true partner, even the comfort of acceptance. She could turn on her warmth, but would it do the same thing if she was full of hostility towards him?

“Alina? I am sorry. And I love you.” Maybe it didn’t matter. It didn’t change anything at all, but he wanted her to know.

“I know,” she said and then softly leaned up to kiss his cheek. “I can feel that. I’m trying to figure out with you how to tell when something is real. Baghra made me doubt … everything. Your isolating me from Mal made me question all of your motives. But if I pay attention to our bond, I’m starting to be able to tell if you’re being genuine. So, we start over here, with my getting to know the real you and deciding what I think of the actual Aleksander. I’m working on forgiving you.”

He closed his eyes and thought through all of that. She hadn’t mentioned the Fold or being the Black Heretic again. Maybe she could, if not forgive, at least understand how that happened now. Perhaps she could accept who he was. Was that even possible? She was angry he had lied. She felt he had tried to isolate her. He supposed he had, but not truly isolated; he had encouraged the friendships with Nadia and poor Marie and Genya. He had tried to isolate her from her past so she could move on to her future, to shed the things that held her back. If the letters to Mal hadn’t been so self-depreciating, apologetic for being Grisha, perhaps he might have permitted a visit earlier. She felt betrayed because he had lied, kept things from her, and manipulated her. He couldn’t exactly deny that, but he had tried to manipulate her to accept herself, to be happy. It was clear, though, she did not appreciate being treated that way.

“I’m trying to be better for you,” he whispered. He knew he could never deserve her. He had made too many mistakes, done too many dark things, and was truly filled with darkness himself. And she was light. The tears that had been filling his eyes finally slipped out as the guilt of all of his mistakes weighed heavily on his heart. “You make me want to be better.”

“Aleksander …” she whispered, her voice full of worry. Because of their bond, she could likely feel the pain in him, all the regret. She looked up at him and reached to brush the tears away. “I know you are. I can feel it. I appreciate it.”

She pressed her forehead to his and just sat there, breathing with him, letting the power flow and call between them, bringing all the emotions back and forth for a while. She was confused, but she cared. Deep in there was this tiny thread of hope.

He wanted to make her happy again. He had made her happy once, hadn’t he? All those smiles and laughs. He could do it again if she was willing to give him a chance. He would try his best to be what she needed. Full honesty and openness were not things he was good at. His entire life he had been forced to lie to everyone out of necessity, for survival. But he would try for her. He would do anything to bring that lightness back to her heart. “I’ll be better. I’ll make you smile again.”

She shifted their bodies and pulled him to her chest for a change. The slow beating of her heart calmed him as she ran her fingers steadily through his hair. “Shh, shh, shh. No more worries tonight. Go to sleep. Just go to sleep. I’m here. Just rest.”

She’d chosen to be with him and not the tracker. She was here. It was all that mattered. Together, they could do anything.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers Zero Vol. 12 Azusa Mukami [Track 4]

Original title: ただ、一緒に

Source: Diabolik Lovers Zero Vol. 12 Azusa Mukami [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Kishio Daisuke

Translator’s note: ーー And once again, the power of true love prevails!! The plot of the Zero CDs is a perfect combination between angst, suspense and fluff, which is why it is one of my favorites. I felt like the ‘enemy’ they were fighting this time was not as extreme compared to some of the other CDs and I genuinely got some ~~feels~~ in the end. ;w;

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 4: Simply, Together

The two of you walk through the hallway of the museum.

“Oh...The hallway is...different from earlier...It used to be full of twists and turns, but now it’s just...one straight path...If this building is alive...I suppose it would easily be able to...change its interior...?”

You ask how much longer you’ll have to walk. 

“Mmh...I wonder how much longer this path goes on for...? I’m pretty sure...the museum is guiding us towards a place though...”

Azusa comes to a halt.

“Ah. ...A door. ...Let’s go! We have no...other choice.”

*Creaaaaak*

“...H-Huh...? We’ve returned here again...? The room filled with...art supplies...”

You seem confused. 

“Mmh...I wonder why? Is there something...important here? ...Oh! Wait.”

He looks around, suddenly spotting his doppelganger.

( Say, what’s wrong? Ah...You’re hungry, aren’ you? I’m sorry! I’ll prepare your meal in no time! )

“It’s his...voice...I can hear it from right up ahead...We should probably turn around, huh?”

You shake your head. 

“Ah...Right...It’s a one-way path...So we can’t go anywhere else...Ugh...In that case...Let’s quietly...sneak closer. There might be something in the back after all...”

You slowly step closer.

( Hey...Cheer up? Do you hate me now? )

*Ba-dump*

“Eh...? W-What’s...that!?”

( ...Oh? Ah...You’ve come here. )

“...!”

( Haah...How troublesome. I went through so much trouble to tie you both up too. )

“...!! Stay by my side...!”

Azusa protects you.

“We can’t die here...! We have to go back...no matter what!”

( Can’t do~ Just look at how grumpy she is. I’m sure it’s because she’s hungry. Therefore, I need you two to become her food. ...Say, you want to hurry up and eat too, right? )

*Rumble*

( Oh...What’s wrong...Why won’t you rejoice...? )

“Ah...S-Say! The thing you’re...talking to...it’s shaped like a person but is it...a work of art?”

( ...Right. I made this. It’s the heart of the museum. )

“Oh...! Of the museum...?”

( Fufu~ Isn’t it pretty? I attached these tubes as well. All of the nutrients absorbed through the food come flowing in here. Because of this system, she can stay alive, even when reduced to just her heart. )

“What do you...mean...?”

( My precious someone...was killed a long time ago. Even though she was...so very, very important to me... )

“Are you perhaps talking...about the woman on those sketches?”

( ...Exactly. The one person who accepted me. Without her, I would lose even my reason to exist! Yet...! She almost took her last breath right in front of my own eyes! If she were to pass away I just...I wouldn’t know what to do! ...But you know, I realized! That I could simply move her still-beating heart... )

“Oh...Don’t tell me...That heart is inside...?”

*Ba-dump*

“You transplanted the heart and...turned the person you loved into that thing? Is that why this museum is alive?”

( Yes. Right now...She is this building. )

“Say...Who are you? You’re not an ordinary painting...”

(  I’m a Vampire just like you. I just so happened to be well-versed in this department. (1) ...I was simply living a happy life painting pictures, accompanied by the person I loved. ) 

“Together with...the person you loved?”

( However, as you can see, I died too, staying by her side as a spirit to ensure she would not grow lonely. As a painting who hunts for her prey. ...To make sure she stays alive. )

*Cling*

“...!! What are you...going to do...?”

( What do you mean? I have to restrain you two with pins to make sure the food doesn’t run away? )

The fake Azusa uses his magic to make the pins float in the air.

( Hm~ I’m glad I brought a bunch of these large pins with me. ...I’ll turn you both in skewers, okay? )

*CLANG*

“...!! Step back!! ...Ugh!”

*CLANG*

“Aaargh...!! Uu...Ugh...”

( Ahaha~ My live specimen is complete~ We’ll do this in order, so you’ll have to wait till later. ...First up, we’ll start with the more delicious-looking one~ )

He approaches you.

( Woah there...~ Struggle all you want, but you can’t run. ...The sheer white canvas over there, that’s the museum’s mouth. Once you get thrown inside, you will melt away and become nutrients. ...You seem to have a thing for pain, so I’ll make sure you dissolve slowly, okay? Fufu~ )

The painting demon starts dragging you towards the canvas.

*Rustle rustle* 

“You...can’t...Let...go of her...!”

*Rumble*

( Ah...! )

“...The museum is...crying...again...Perhaps...S-Say...! Couldn’t your...girlfriend be weeping because...she wants you to...stop this already...?”

( ...Hah? )

“When you...fed off her or...even when I did it...Every time...there was the scent of blood...the museum cried...Even when you tried to get her eaten...as if she’s...begging you not to do this...”

( ...You’re wrong. That can’t be. )

“But...!”

( She would never disagree with what I do...! I love her this much! It’d definitely make her happy! ...Ugh. She has simply grown impatient because I’m such a slowpoke. Come on! Get inside the painting...!! )

He pushes you against the canvas.

“...Eve!”

( It’ll be all over once she sinks into the canvas. I’m sure she’ll feel better once she has had her meal~ )

“...Eve...Kuh...You can’t...I won’t let you go...!! I definitely...won’t let you go all by yourself...!”

*Cling*

( Eh...!? There’s just no way he could stand up right now!? )

“Ugh...Kuh...To me...She is my special someone...She is the only one I have...! I definitely don’t want her...to go...!!!!”

Azusa frees himself.

*Cling clang*

“...Eve!!”

He rushes over to you, trying to pull you out of the canvas.

“I won’t let you go...Never...! Argh...!!”

The two of you get absorbed by the painting.

“...Aaah!”

*Thud*

“...Where are we...? I can’t see...anything...? Haah, haah...Am I...inside the painting?”

You call out for Azusa.

“...! Eve...!? Are you there...!?”

You call for him again and Azusa runs to you. 

“Ugh...Haah, haah...! You’re here...”

He grabs hold of your hand.

“...Why are you apologizing...? I didn’t want to leave your side...so that’s why I followed you. I don’t want us to be separated...”

You ask if you will get eaten now. 

“Mmh...It’s all over once you...get absorbed by the painting...We might get...consumed. But you know, this is way better...than losing just you...Neither of us...should have to be lonely. We always have to be together...Right?”

You nod.

“Yeah. ...That’s why...I don’t regret anything. Let’s be together in life and death.”

*Rumble rumble*

“Oh...Eh!? It’s...shaking?”

*Rumble rumble*

“...Ah! I’m being...pulled in...! ...Eve! ...Hang on tight...! Don’t...leave me...!! Aaaaah...!!!”

The two of you get sucked out of the canvas again. 

*THUD*

“Ugh...Ow...A-Are you...okay?”

You nod.

“Thank god...Give me your hand. Can you stand?”

Azusa helps you get up.

“...Where are we...?”

*Rustle*

“...We made it...out of the canvas...!?”

( ...Why!? How come!? How did you get out!? This has never happened before...!? )

“Oh...I see. She let us out...The museum let us...go...”

( ...!! N-No way...No...I don’t believe this. She is always happy with my work! There is no way she would get in my way! )

“That might be true...I’m sure she really does love you...But couldn’t that be...why she’s sad now?”

( ...Eh? )

“You see...I saddened the person important to me in the past as well. Time after time...”

You frown.

“That girl was a...kind person so...she was worried about me and hurt herself too...That’s why I sort of understand...I’m sure your girlfriend is worried about you...Since you’ve taken many lives for her sake. ...I’m sure she doesn’t want you...to continue this...So don’t you think that could be why...she’s crying?”

( ...! ...Say...Is he right...? Are you crying because of me...? )

*Rumble rumble*

( ...!! I-I see...I was wrong... )

He drops to his knees.

( I’m sorry...I...I’m so sorry...! I never meant to make you suffer...! I just...I didn’t want to let you die! I thought that...You’d be happy if I did this...! But...I was wrong, huh? I had forgotten. That you were always the type of person who would worry about me, instead of about yourself. I made you worry a lot, didn’t I? ...I’ll no longer repeat the same mistake. I’ll stop doing this. So please...! Will you stay by my side? )

*Rumble*

( Aah...I see...Mmh. Thank you. )

He stands up again.

( I have a...request to make. Could you please...burn me down together with this museum. )

You seem shocked.

“W-Why...!?”

( She wants things to end. Because she can’t become happy, even if she were to remain alive. However, I can’t let her go alone, so I will perish alongside her. No matter where it takes us, I don’t want to leave her side. )

“I...see. ...Mmh. Understood.”

You tell Azusa not to do it.

“I...can’t stop them. The two of them...seem happy after all. That’s why...Eve...”

You nod.

“Mmh. Let’s go...outside. If we stay here...We’ll get swallowed by the flames...after all...”

( ...Hey! Can I ask one last thing? )

“...Eh?”

( What would you do...If she were to die on you? )

“I would...”

You look up at Azusa.

“i cannot...fantom that...But! However...I might have just done...the exact same thing you did...”

*TIMESKIP*

“...Oh. It has stopped raining. The nearby greenery is still wet, so the fire probably won’t spread...”

You ask him if this is truly the right thing to do.

“Mmh. They wished for this themselves...So I think this was for the best. Besides...I’m sure that nobody can decide...whether this is good or bad...This is the path they have chosen for themselves after all...Nobody should interfere with that...”

He turns his head towards you.

“It’s the same for us, right...? No matter what happens...We don’t want anyone to get in our way...We’d want to be together forever...Don’t we?”

You agree.

“Mmh...I pray (2) that as they meet their end, and even after that...they will never be torn apart...Farewell.”

Azusa sets the museum on fire.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes 

(1) This sentence is quite vague, but I suppose he refers to having the necessary knowledge to know that if he preserved his lover’s heart and put it into something else, he could keep her alive that way. 

(2) He ends his sentence with ように or ‘you ni’ which implies that he is making some sort of wish. 

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Of Ice and Blood

Part 6

Part 6~ cuz I love y'all <3 don't forget to drink your vitamins and keep hydrated! Stay safe and healthy my loves :)

Word count: 3k+ words

Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)

Warnings: None. (tis a fluff-filled chapter)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

* beware of little shifts in perspective from two characters, we will be jumping casually from their minds.

*

You caught the orc staring at you again, with a smile that made his tusks jut out more. "H-Hi!" you blurted out, waving.

As you began walking towards him, you found yourself losing balance, your legs giving out. You closed your eyes reflexively and expected to land face-first on the tiled floor.

Only you didn't.

You felt a strong arm around your waist and a large hand on your back, nearly covering the expanse of it. Instead of the floor, you found yourself smushed against something warm, and that thing, you figured out a second later, was Tai'chi's chest. You became flustered and felt your cheeks and ears redden. Your nose was practically inhaling his scent now, all that musky and rich smell of his making you light-headed. Stuttering, you pulled your head back.

"I-I-I— Ta-Tai'chi???"

Congratulations self, that was perfect, wow.

"Hm? Oh, uh, sorry. I acted on impulse when I saw you collapse." He said as the grip he had on you slackened and moved to hold your shoulder to support you in case you fall again, his other hand, though, remained in its place behind you.

"Don't w-worry about it. My legs just gave out, haha."

That came out awkwardly.

Damn, he is fast.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He asked, his words filled with genuine concern. Your ears were sporting a tinge of red, he noticed. Your scent also changed, signaling you were flustered.

"Ye-yep! We should uh, head back to class now. Oh! We haven't eaten anything for lunch." You said and as if on cue, your stomach grumbled to agree, followed by another grumble but louder, it wasn't yours but Tai'chi's.

The two of you laughed from the sounds they made.

"You're right. How about we go to the cafeteria first to grab something before we head back to our classroom?" He asked, smiling down at you.

"Great idea!" You agreed, a little too eager than you would've liked.

"We should get going then."

He straightened up and removed his hand from your shoulder when he was certain you wouldn't stumble again. Though, he let his hand on your back linger a bit longer even after you left the office.

**************************************

The trip to the cafeteria was peaceful, minus the sounds of muffled talking coming from the rooms. Tai'chi was beside you as you walked down the halls, thankful that your legs found their strength again.

Arriving at the significantly less crowded canteen, both of you went ahead and ordered some food before finding a place to eat. Spotting a vacant one a few tables from the main entrance, you trudged to it, Tai'chi following close. You sat down and got a clearer look at his tray.

It was a lot, though you expected it to be. There were more vegetables than meat though.

"Not a fan of meat?"

He looked at you and laughed, echoing through the whole cafeteria, which resulted in some students glancing in your direction.

You were a bit taken aback, not expecting that sort of reaction from him.

"I'm sorry. I just- I don't know why I found it funny. I meant no offense."

"None taken."

"To answer you, I'm a huge fan of meat, red meat to be exact. This was the only portion that's left when I asked for more. And I'm still growing so I made up for the lack of meat with the vegetables. We orcs love a healthy and hearty meal."

What he said made you smile even more.

"What about you?" He glanced at your tray to see a portion almost similar to his albeit more assorted. This made him look back up and you, flabbergasted. "You can eat all of that?"

You looked down to inspect your food choice, and you instantly felt self-conscious.

"I...Uhm yes. I can." You replied, albeit meekly.

Tai'chi noticed the sudden change in your voice and made himself clear; "No, no I didn't mean it like that. I'm just, well, as you already know I haven't met many humans aside from the ones in a village back home, so I was just surprised." Watching him explain himself made you smile again. The thought of you being repulsive vanished out into thin air.

"I eat a lot. Though sometimes I eat more junk than healthy food. Anyways, let's begin, shall we? We're already late and I'm starving!" Laughing, you both know today's attendance in class isn't much of an issue. They did say there won't be any lessons today to give time for 'socializing' instead.

You stopped in your tracks when you realized you haven't shown him your face ever since you met. You looked around to see if anyone was watching and stole glances at the one in front of you. You slowly removed your mask and revealed your face. Not many have seen you without it, only those who are close to you, specifically your family.

"I guess this is the first time you've seen my face, huh?" Nervous, you asked.

Tai'chi stared at you so intensely you felt self-conscious once again. "I-Is there something wrong?"

'Shit, does he find me unattractive? Weird? Not that I expected the opposite but —'

"No. No, there's nothing wrong. You-"

"I'm what?"

"You're beautiful."

'Did he just—'

Your face heated up again and this time you had no mask to hide it.

Hastily, you covered your face with one hand and looked away.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when you did, coughing into his fist before he started eating.

Once you cooled down, you did the same. Trying to focus on the savory food they served in the uni.

Eat, damn it.

You barely noticed the orc, or perhaps you chose not to, as you wolf down your food like you haven't eaten for weeks. Another thing he found admirable and attractive. You ate cleanly, not letting a single piece of food go to waste.

He'll have to find some time later to formally introduce himself, along with other...things.

***********************************

You leaned back on your chair, noticing Tai'chi doing the same, as you let the feeling of content wash over yourselves. The food was great! You made a note to thank the cook later.

You sat up after a moment and arranged your dirty utensils. You were against the thought of making the cafeteria's job of cleaning harder than it is. So you cleaned up, stacked plates properly in your tray with concentration, you didn't realize until later that you did the same to his dishes. You didn't spare a peek up into his eyes or else you'd make a fool out of yourself again. Taking a napkin, you wiped your mouth clean before you quickly put on your mask, much to Tai'chi's dismay.

You stood up but before you could walk away, a hand reached out to grab your arm, stopping you. He stood up from his seat.

"Pearl."

"Uh, yes?"

"There's still time before our next class starts. Would you mind taking a stroll around the campus with me?"

"Y-Yeah— sure. I wouldn't mind." You replied, avoiding his gaze.

The two of you strolled around the quiet grounds of the campus. There were trees, younger than the ones in the forest. You took in the nice scenery before you, feeling the fresh, cool air, the gentle rustling of leaves, calming, and the scent of your companion to your left, relaxing and sweet. You were in a daze, barely paying attention when Tai'chi said your name and stood still.

"Hmm?"

He chuckled lightly at your response.

"I want to continue where we left off in the forest."

"Oh. Oh, of course."

"I want to know more about you, Pearl. So I'll start with my true name." He knelt down which startled you momentarily.

.

"I am Tai'chi Kashharzol, eldest of five siblings, son of Durog and Gala. I come from the Northern stronghold of clan Fatof'san. Before I came down to the city, I was trained and taught basic socialization by an old human who lived in the village under our protection.

"I went through one of my clan's traditions and hunted down my first Snow Bear. The elders gave me an honorary title to carry, right after my kill."

You stood there listening to him earnestly as he told you all of this with pride, taking in each word and committing them into memory.

"I was given the name, 'Frostbreaker'. It is my warrior name." He took a breath before he asked. "Will you honor me of becoming my friend?"

All of this sounds like a confession— technically it is but there's something, intimate about it. The way his eyes shone with such determination and something you can't figure out.

Should I ask? He stopped talking, snap out of it–

"Oh, wow. I mean yes! Yes I'll be your friend. I'd be more than happy to. The honor is mine!"

You beamed as he returned a toothy grin.

"Right. I should also say something like that, well, uh, wait." You were slightly nervous as you removed your mask, offering a shy smile before speaking.

Breathe in.

And out.

"I am Pearl Blackbell, only child and daughter of Leon and Athena Blackbell. I'm from a town, West of here, Red Springs is its name. My parents taught me martial arts, and, uh, the use of self-defense weapons." You paused and showed him your crimson knuckles. "This is my favorite one to use, I'm sure you noticed already. My father... didn't want me to leave home without any assurance that I can defend myself. You were right when you said I have experience in combat. A decent amount of it," you sighed.

"I always, almost every day, get into trouble standing up for someone, bullied, or abused. I also held my own when someone tries to harass me, smashing their faces in."

Tai'chi in turn listened closely, his gaze intense on you. He was concerned about what you implied. Many attempted to assault you? How many times? Did they hurt you? Your smile faltered as you told him the next things about yourself.

"I... didn't have friends as I grew up. People tend to be afraid of what they do not understand, y'know? They didn't want me near them, finding me weird for wearing a mask, plus my reputation for punching humans didn't help," you laughed self-deprecatingly. "So I spent my whole high school years training, mastering my art with the help of my father, who was of course, very strict and hard on me." Finding nothing else comfortable to say at this stage, you went quiet.

"Can I ask you a question?" The orc said a moment later. He was bothered by the fact you had no friends, not even one. And training, training meant pain.

"Only if I can ask one in return." You replied, feeling bold all of a sudden. He grinned at this.

"Why do you always wear a mask?"

There was no trace of ulterior motive in his scent, not the usual annoyance you smelled every time someone asked the same question. So you answered him, honestly.

"Promise you won't get weirded out?"

"I swear on my name."

"Oh. oh, okay that's good. You see, my nose, or my sense of smell specifically, is err, not normal."

Now this made Tai'chi's eyes widen. Did you have an illness of sorts? Is your health in danger? Were you h–

"I can tell how someone is feeling based on the changes in their scent. My nose is very sensitive to odors so I keep wearing a mask every time I go outside. It has been like this since I was born. My doctors say it's rare for a human to possess, they say it's special, a gift from a higher being."

"When we went in the cafeteria after our first class, "—Tai'chi inserted— "Was the reason you stopped advancing inside further, the sour and disgusting smell of the students in there?"

"Yes, actually— Wait, how did you know?" you asked.

How does he know??? Did he just smirk?

"I can smell them too."

"You can?!"

"Yes."

"So you mean to tell me, my nose functions similarly like yours?"

"Yes, perhaps, a little bit differently. Or maybe it's because you didn't hone it."

"How can you say so?"

"I can block out certain smells if I want to. And based on your reaction early on, you're having a hard time doing so, is that right?"

"W-Well, yes. You're right. Usually, I'd wear a mask with a basic filtration device, but that doesn't work when I'm inside a closed space and the scents are all mixed up and concentrated."

Tai'chi nodded in reply. He began to stand up and you were met with his towering form once again. You took a step back so you can put less strain on your neck from looking up.

"You still owe me an answer to a question by the way."

"Go on and ask then."

"So, uh, is it just me or when you told me about you...it kind of felt different from how talking to a friend sounds like..." You fidgeted, a certain heat slowly creeps up your face again as you looked around not wanting to meet his gaze. You felt your heart rate increase as you noticed his scent change, telling you you were right.

Tai'chi sighed heavily and rubbed his temples before gathering the courage to talk.

"Yes, it was different."

"So..."

"We use that kind of formality, usually towards someone we want to court."

Did he say 'court'?!

"C-Court??" you squeaked. Pretty sure your face is redder than the color of your brass knuckles, your heart hammering in your chest you believed he could hear it.

"Courting, or dating, or whatever everyone calls it down here." Breathing in deeply, he returned to kneel before you and took your hands into his, large palms caressing your small ones.

"I'll have to rephrase my words."

He locked his gaze into yours, deep blue eyes to your mahogany ones.

"Will you allow me to court you, Pearl Blackbell?"

"W-Why would you want to court me?"

The hell would someone want to court me? I'm seen as a freak by most people and I'm not soft or girly like the others. I don't like skirts or dresses. I hate makeup. I have calloused hands, scars hidden under my clothes. I don't understand —

He gave you a soft smile, cutting off your train of self-deprecating thoughts. "I can hear your mind, Pearl. Don't think low of yourself. You are amazing, y'know that? The first time I saw your eyes, and the moment you fought for my sake, I knew I was smitten. You are graceful, each motion fluid and filled with strength, people would never expect you possess until they feel it through a punch you throw. You are kind, righteous, beautiful, strong, with a heart of gold. It is a shame how most people do not see it. I want to prove myself to you, and win your heart properly."

You were about to pass out from his confession when you remembered you need to respond! Gathering what courage and energy you have left, you answered.

"I...Oh my God... I don't know what to say— I've never experienced this, ever! I'm afraid I won't know what to do- what if I mess up? What if I—"

"Listen, liga ni..." He cut you off as he rubbed circles on your hands, that small shift of language sent his voice into a guttural one. "This is also a first for me, and I share your fears in this. But my wish to pursue you remains unwavered. I will try my best to woo you, and if I do something you didn't like, it is up to you to end the courting, any time you want, and I will stop immediately. I hope we would stay friends if it comes that..." He said as he broke eye contact and looked down.

"Tai'chi..." Seeing him sad like this made your chest twist in discomfort.

Steadying yourself, you studied him, his scent was pure, no malice within his words, he was speaking from his heart. With renewed confidence, you finally decided.

"Tai'chi Kashharzol...I wish to court you as well."

He snapped up his gaze back to you and saw you smile. He scented you just to make sure you weren't doing this out of pity. The moment he realized it was genuine he lifted you in the air and spun you around. You were surprised at the sudden outburst but laughed together with him once you got over it. He set you down after a while and moved his face close to yours but halted immediately when he saw your eyes widen.

"Too forward?" He asked.

"Y-Yeah." Your heart was doing backflips, even if that sounds so ridiculous.

He understood. "I apologize, I got carried away." But before he pulled back you pressed a quick kiss on his forehead. He almost purred from the gesture but suppressed it as not to scare you in any way. You were new to this after all. He cleared his throat and reached out a hand to you.

"We should head back, our class will start soon."

"O-okay." You moved to wear your mask again before taking his hand, enjoying the rest of the walk in silence. You were still nervous, but you decided to focus on the now.

I've never felt like this before... Is it a good thing? I think it is.

And with that on your mind, you let yourself relax.

*

A pair of cruel eyes witnessed the whole exchange, remaining unnoticed as he hid behind a tree, a good distance from where you stood. They watched you and the orc walk away before they went the other direction.

"She will be fun to break. A female, human Blackbell, tempting. This will be a great chance to demonstrate and prove how monstrous an orc could be." They snickered. "I will enjoy this, exceptionally."

"In time, Pearl. In time."

****************************************

Now now who is this suspicious person?!

Liga ni — means 'little one' (as an endearment) in Orcish

Tags: @crackinanutshell @kokokatsworld @mitchiesdungeon

[fayeimara]

Meant To Be Series || One For Every Billion

Episode 2. Next Time, Make it Up Twice

*Both Written and SMAU parts this episode*

"I'm in love with soba, oh my god!" You're still relishing the meal you just finished as you walk with Toshi and his friends to grab some boba.

Tendou chuckles, "I think you only like it because of that character in your favourite manga."

"ONE of my favourite mangas, thank you. But yes, he's so cute just quietly eating his soba for lunch. Like, I'd definitely love it just for him, but I did actually enjoy it."

Semi smiles at your excitement, "You should try it hot too, it's different."

"Yes, yes. Of course, I will at some point but I'm soo full right now I can't think of more food."

"Do you not want the boba, then?" Toshi looks over at you seriously but you're already smiling and shaking your head.

"Of course I do, that's not food, Toshi!"

"Oh okay. I'll help you pick something light if you want."

"Thank you!"

The door chimes as you walk into the shop but you pause just inside to check your phone when you feel its persistent buzzing. You had updated your twitter and your friends are giving you grief over the picture of your lunch. Yeah, yeah, you wanted to try it because you simp for icy hot boys, so what? It's good to try new things.

You're firing off a reply to their sarcastic (read: jealous) comments when the door chimes again and then you're stumbling because something just knocked into you.

"Ow- shit!" That's not your voice. You don't think you've made a sound but you don't recognize that yet.

What you do register first as you're falling forward is how you're grateful because it's definitely not the hard door that hit your back and head, and you're lucky because you really shouldn't have been standing right there. Then you realize you're about to fall on your face because your hands are frozen clutching your phone. Just as that thought flits through your head faster than your lack of a quick reaction, you strangely find yourself floating before you can face plant on the floor and thank god because, ew, germs. Also, potentially ouch.

You're a little thrown off so it takes you a moment to realize you didn't make like another one of the characters in that particular manga and develop a float quirk. No, there's a toned arm that's caught you around your waist and now you're more than just a little thrown off.

You're sure you're blushing in embarrassment as you're carefully set right side up and turn to apologize to the owner of the savior arm.

"I'm so sorry!" You hear an apology at the exact same time it flies from your own mouth and you pause because you're melting into chocolate eyes that are probably as wide as your own.

Wha- You're looking up into the face of an angel! But no, really, omg it's a seriously cute boy. And why do you want to touch his hair??

He does look like he's genuinely sorry but his face relaxes as both your eyes hold and he smiles (quite charmingly), before calmly responding first "It's my fault, so I really am sorry for knocking you over, pretty girl. I was walking backwards and didn't see you there."

You raise your eyebrows, stuck on that for a second and accidentally blurting, "Who walks through a door backwards??" in genuine curiosity before your eyes widen, "I mean, no, but it's not your fault either! I'm the one that stopped right in front of said door, I really should have just moved up before checking my phone."

His hand reaches up to rub the back of his head in that way that really makes guys look cute when they're a little at a loss for words. At least that's what you think until he says, "Maybe we can make it up to each other, if you haven't ordered yet?"

"Oi!" An irritated voice calls out from behind him, "Can you let the rest of us in before you start flirting?!"

He lets out a light laugh before moving aside and two others cute guys enter. Like, what's with the air in Miyagi?!?

"Sorry Iwa-Chan, but I needed to make sure this angel didn't get hurt falling (for) because of me." He winks at you but you're a little lost in thought because you're thinking about how you like the way he talks. It's a little like he's singing at times and maybe it's because of his melodic voice but either way, it's pretty cute. You're going into overload and you have to consciously stop yourself from holding your hands to your cheeks. You really hope you're not still blushing, ugh.

You meet eyes with the intense one and like, hello, hi, I'm here for this vibe. The guy meets your eyes before quickly flicking his away. But then you swear he makes a conscious effort to bring them back to rest on yours and politely asks, "I hope you're okay?" You're smiling in reassurance when he adds, "This idiot is trouble on legs, so I'm sorry for him."

You burst out laughing and they're looking at you in surprise so you just shake your head and explain, "I think my friends have said the exact same words about me. No, we're all good, I really appreciate it."

And thank you, mother, for your own charming smile because all three boys blush but don't look away.

Point to pretty boy #1 though because he regains his composure the fastest and pouts, "Iwa-chan is so mean to me, angel, please don't listen to him. If I do accidentally cause trouble, I swear I'm good at making it up."

"I don't know if I can say the same?" You smirk but he grins.

"So let me make it up then, and buy you some boba?"

"Oikawa." Ah, there's Toshi, a little late for backup but you guess you did fine without a wingman.

Wait, wait. The pretty boy's smile dims and he's looking over your shoulder at where your cousin's voice came from. He's straightened up and his posture kind of yells belligerent attitude.

"Ushiwaka-chan. Tell me Miyagi isn't really this small." Wow, there's a bite in his words but like, you're liking it. What can you say? You're a fan of hidden depths.

"I am surprised to see you as well. Not as surprised as when I heard you truly chose another school over Shiratorizawa."

Okay, hmm, you're looking over at the friend he called Iwa and he's rolling his eyes, so clearly there's tension.

The pretty guy, who you're guessing is Oikawa, drops his smile completely. "Well, that was fast. Nice chat, but if you'll excuse me, I was in the middle of a conversation with a new friend."

"You know Y/n?" Toshi's at your side now and sounds pretty surprised but it's not as amusing as your new friend's reaction when he looks back and forth between the two of you in a sort of disbelieving realization. What dots is he connecting, exactly? Because, you'd like to know.

"Y/n, huh? I- didn't realize you had a girlfriend..?" He's questioning hesitantly, good boy, no jumping to conclusions. Just get your feet wet, I guess.

"We're cousins." You and Toshi end up talking at the same time like twins or something and it's a little comical.

Oikawa's mouth drops for a split second before pursing his lips and addressing you, "Well, I guess I can't hold family against you. It's not like you chose him as your cousin."

You let out a wry chuckle with an equally dry grin on your face, "But I did."

"What?" He's blinking down at you in confusion so you elaborate just a little.

"Toshi. I did choose him, actually." You're highly amused at this point and you like having the advantage, so you're going to leave it at that.

He does try to push, though, you think it's curiosity since that is a pretty odd statement. "Like, to spend time with him, or acknowledge him or something? I won't hold that against you either, angel. Family first, that's sweet."

"Uh.. no." You just smirk and his eyes narrow as his head tilts. Yeah, he knows you're definitely messing with him now, he's just not sure how.

It's all good though, because Toshi's timing is on point now, "Y/n, I hope you don't mind but I picked you a drink I thought you might like."

You look over to him happily, "Really?"

"Yes.. you said that would be okay previously?"

"Of course, Toshi, I really appreciate it!" You look over at Oikawa with a sweet smile, "It was nice .. having you run into me, I suppose. I didn't get to thank you for - or maybe even take you up on - your offer, but I do appreciate it as well. So.. thank you, pretty boy, but I can't be rude and ignore my friends that I'm here with today."

He follows your gaze over to the table your new Shiratorizawa friends have grabbed for all of you. They're chatting casually but clearly looking over though you don't quite know why.

Oikawa looks a little conflicted and disappointed when you turn back to each other, so you add, "Feel free to run into me again and maybe then we can make it up to each other twice."

You can literally feel your trademark playful smile on your face so you know that's what pulls his own begrudging smile in response. Works like a charm, but it's genuine.

He studies you for a moment, "Then I hope Miyagi really is small, so I can hold you to that."

Then he looks back at Toshi with full force attitude so it's time to step away. As you walk away you hear his friend Iwa say something about telling his mom he swore. And when you hear that musical cadence of his reply but not his specific words, you can't help but look back.

They're up at the counter and his friends are ordering but, oh wow, he's just leaning back against it... looking right at you. Ahh, caught. He smirks at you, but clearly he was looking too, so you just return his smirk with a raise of your eyebrow and make sure you're the first to look away.

Leave 'em wanting more, it's a good motto to live by.

The rest of the afternoon is chill, you rejoin the Shiratorizawa boys and they explain the dynamic between Toshi and Oikawa in the most hilarious way so you're all just teasing him and laughing. You realized at some point during their explanation that you'd heard of this guy from Toshi a couple times and never thought much of it. But now.. he's a real person to you so you're definitely a little more interested beyond your cousin's innate desire to pull together an overpowered team.

Tendou also makes you recount the entire encounter from near face plant to Toshi's interruption before Semi and Soekawa have enough and decide to move on. It's even better, they have you laughing so hard and your sides in stiches from retaliating with funny stories about Tendou and Toshi or Coach Washijo impressions.

If you said you didn't end up glancing over at another group seated several booths down during the time you were there, you'd be lying. If you said you didn't connect with warm brown eyes every time, that would also be a lie. What you really couldn't say is if you enjoyed your boba or not because the butterflies that took residence in your stomach were the only other thing you noticed until you left the shop.

Prev | Next

Masterlist

Behind The Scenes!

-Y/n really gets along with Semi but he reminds her of a certain someone

-She and her friends are night owls which is how they're able to respond to her so fast at even 2am or 3am their time (EST)

-We all know the show referenced right? (If not, I would highly recommend watching Boku No Hero Academia/My Hero Academia)

-The angel/devil theme might be played on a lot, her school is literally Ashwood Devils and her national league is Aurora Angels

-I like to think the characters who make those comments or use those terms in application to Y/n all realize the irony at some point, even if it's not explicitly written out in the story

A/N: I realized I forgot to add the first pic (the twt about all the Shiratorizawa reactions) to the end of the last chapter, which is where it was supposed to go. So, even though, I'll go back and fix that, I'll also add it here for anyone who's already read that chapter. Sorry guys! Once again, thanks for bearing with me while I figure out the social media stuff. Feel free to point out any mistakes to me too! Sometimes I'm creating this stuff when I haven't slept 30+ hours so... there's bound to be things I miss or get wrong :)

I also changed 'Extras' to 'Behind The Scenes'! Same concept for small thoughts that might supplement the story where you're currently at and provide background or additional commentary but renamed to fit the theme a little better, I guess. What do you guys think - does it even matter? Do you guys read any of this or just here for the fic and skip by? Genuinely curious to know (:

Aaand, didn't think I'd need this but you made my day:

Taglist: @delusivist

[jerardeusebio]

Birth Day

I suppose it was understandable when I was seven, maybe forgivable when I was a self-involved cliché of a teen. But at 32, I’ve come to find—through the help of stoicism—that being entitled to a day is a delusion worth shattering. I had to learn first hand, on my 26th birthday, that the world doesn’t owe me anything just because it’s my birthday.

This whole story took place on January 18, 2015, the first birthday I was to spend with Dylan. Earlier on, it had been destined to be an unforgettable day, made extra special by Pope Francis’ visit to the Philippines, which the two of us, despite our considerable reservations about the Catholic Church, decided to take part in. The Pope was scheduled to tour Manila and later hold Mass at the Quirino Grandstand. The date fell on a Sunday. 

I had been so determined to make a day of it, that I even convinced my family, who’d be coming from Los Baños, to join me and Dylan. I proposed we grab dinner when it was all over. In the end, we all agreed that this was to be my birthday celebration.

From our F. B. Harrison apartment, Dylan and I braved the streets of Manila to catch a glimpse of the progressive Pope. We left once I got a text from my family that they were on their way. Soon enough it became clear that reaching the venue would be a challenge. It was hard enough we had to do it on foot, but of course we had to deal with the crowd. Prior to that day, I had only seen such large gatherings on television. We had the most grueling time getting through the dense throng, squeezing past countless elbows and knees, breathing each other’s air (possibly a death wish in today’s context), trying to outsmart everyone in finding the perfect spot in which to encounter the Pope, who was at this point still going around, peripatetic in his mobile. And the rain, oh, the rain didn’t help either. These were to be the most disgustingly profound hours of my life.

There were at least two reasons why my family—Pa, Ma, Marky, and Thea—weren’t able to join me and Dylan that day. For one, the crowds intimidated them. From a distance, it was just a sea of people on the streets. The view was even more overwhelming when seen from the LRT station. My family despised crowds, but I had hoped they’d make an exception for the Pope! And yes, because it’s my birthday, for me. Another reason, and perhaps what contributed the most to my disappointment, was that communication lines were jammed. Literally, the City of Manila had cut off phone reception as a safety measure. Because of this, my family had no way to contact me or Dylan, no way to find out where we were exactly, no way to be advised that they needed raincoats because umbrellas were not allowed, and no way to inform me that they had changed their minds about the whole day.

It was only when Dylan and I were out of the rain and sitting at our nice table in Makan Makan, Manila Ocean Park that I’d learn about my family getting as far as Quirino Avenue before deciding to retreat. They were also not going to share a meal with us at this nice restaurant because they were, in fact, already back home. I was stunned. Little did I know that when Dylan and I were singing Our Father with the mighty congregation, my family was watching the whole thing on our TV, roofed and dry.

I felt the flush of disappointment spread through me as my mother explained herself on the other line. Though she sounded equally disappointed at how things went, when she greeted me a happy birthday, I could only focus on how it all felt sucky. I remember feeling my feet, stinky and wrinkled in my rain-soaked socks. Dylan and I would’ve gone back to our apartment except we were starving and Manila Ocean Park was just right where we ended our rainy pilgrimage. Once I told him my family wasn’t coming, he ordered pad thai and laksa for just us two.

I put the phone down, frowned, and began to express my sentiments. Looking at Manila Bay through the glass walls, I articulated how disappointed I was, how I felt that my family didn’t really try, that they seem to have missed the point of the day—my birthday—and therefore didn’t try harder to come to me, to celebrate me. I must have gone in circles, as I tend to do when I act up. And I must’ve sounded exceedingly annoying, too, because the way Dylan castigated me right there, as soon as I finished saying my piece, even as the waiter meekly placed a large bowl of steaming laksa between us, was so intense and so surprising that it took me a few moments to realize that he was actually angry. 

We’ve only been together six months at this point, and seeing him defend my family and—in the same breath—point out my entitlement was a strange sight and a debilitating experience to sit through. Caught off guard, I let my intangible ego take a beating and my tangible body, wet and worn out, release the tears. Once it started, it was hard to stop. I cried as I shakily brought a spoonful of soup to my mouth. I cried as I curled the noodles with my fork. I cried as I sipped water from my glass. I spat a few futile rebuttals. And when those were debunked, I concentrated back on my feelings. I never thought anyone could be chastised in this manner on their birthday, after seeing the Pope in the flesh, and after successfully squeezing through a throng of Filipino Catholics—all through a cold and steady January downpour. 

Over the next few years, I would go back to that day and remember how I felt. But I also would mostly review my speech and behavior. I tried to look at the whole day from a stranger’s perspective, a mental exercise which has enabled me to question the way I’ve been taught about birthdays, and wonder where I could’ve picked up that sense of entitlement. Where had I learned to make other people sacrifice their comfort and do things they weren’t really up to just for me, because it was “my day”? Come to think of it, most birthday parties and weddings demand something from their guests—from wearing tacky, expensive, and uncomfortable clothes to requesting cold, hard cash as presents. So many of what we unquestioningly design and do breed such dangerous entitlement. Why had I felt that that was acceptable behavior? 

In my internalized disappointment, I had forgotten all the other things that were beautiful about that day. I focused on what didn’t happen instead of what actually did, on what the circumstances should have offered me instead of what it so generously did, which were nothing short of magical: seeing Pope Francis (the Vicar of Christ!) up close, the electrifying singing and chanting, and the romantic dinner overlooking Manila Bay, paid for by Dylan’s credit card. I had focused on what I thought I deserved and should’ve gotten, insisting that I was entitled to them, no matter what the cost. And each time I revisited what transpired that day, I’d be more and more convinced that, though Dylan was harsh, he was also right.

Dylan would apologize a couple of years later, about the way he did what he did. This, after I expressed to him how that day scarred me. I accepted his apology, but quickly explained how it was, in retrospect, a good and necessary thing. I had needed shaking and, more than anything, someone who’d exorcise the brat out of me. It’s clear to me now that the only way I would’ve listened to reason was to have been dressed down, wet and hungry, on the day I had deemed for so long was mine.

Today, I have a completely new philosophy for and way of celebrating January 18th. Since 2016, I’ve deliberately associated my birthday with my mother, who really did most of the heavy lifting. I vowed that celebrating my birth should mean celebrating her and all the things she went through to bring me into this world. What I now do—which is what I did this year—is wait for 2:01 PM to strike (the exact time I was born), and spend the entire minute holding my mother in a tight embrace, thanking her for the life and nourishment she unselfishly gave, for choosing to carry me for as long as she did.

As for Dylan and I, well, we’ve since gone back to Makan Makan every year. We grew to highly regard their laksa, which we’d always order and consume to the last drop. This year, without meaning to, we ended up making vegan laksa for my birthday dinner at home. And except for Dylan’s cooking and that 2:01 PM hug, I’d say my birthday was pretty uneventful, modest, and every bit happy.

[makeste]

WHAT HAPPENED TO PANEL OF SAYING HE TRUSTS DEKU??? WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DID IT BECOME???? I AM FULL OF GRIEF

firstly, (1) YESSSS, BAKUDEKU FANS ARE EATIN’ GOOD IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, and (2) thank you so much to that last anon!! this made me smile so hard aw.

and second, so! I kind of want to defend the fan scanlation (and I guess the Spanish one too) a bit, though. because while I do believe Caleb Cook’s English translation over at Viz/Manga Plus is the correct one, I finally found a scan of the original panel in Japanese, and looking at it I completely understand why there was some confusion lol.

(disclaimer: pretty much all my knowledge of Japanese comes from two semesters of intro-level courses I took in college, plus whatever I’ve absorbed from two decades of reading manga and watching anime. so basically very little, lol. if I’m wrong about any of this please let me know.)

basically, it all comes down to Japanese grammar. specifically, the fact that in Japanese, sentences don’t necessarily need to have a subject OR an object. you can literally write a sentence in Japanese with JUST a verb, and it would still be technically correct. an example of this would be “itadakimasu”, which is often translated in anime/manga as “thanks for the meal”, but which literally just means “[to] receive.” that’s it. but it’s understood from the context that what you’re really saying is “[I/we] will receive [this good fucking food].” and so all you need to say is the “receive” part. to a native English speaker it’s both hilarious and pretty brilliant honestly, but I digress.

anyway! so yeah, with sentences like this there’s a heavy reliance on using context in order to understand exactly WHO is doing the thing, and who/what is being thinged, or is having the thing done to them. so why do I bring this up? basically, to explain that depending on how you interpret the context of Katsuki’s sentence here, there are multiple ways to translate it. if this sentence had been written in English, there would have been no doubt whatsoever who Katsuki was talking about, because it would have been written like this:

“Deku trusts you, but...”

clear as day! Deku is the subject, All Might is the object. pack it up folks, we’re done here.

but in Japanese, the sentence is worded like this instead:

“Deku wa shinji kitte kkedo saa...”

with the three parts being (1) Deku, (2) shinji kitte (trusts), and (3) kkedo saa (but).

which, hilariously, can be interpreted in at least THREE DIFFERENT WAYS, mostly because “wa” is a weird fucking particle which can technically mark either a subject OR an object. and so you could read it as “Deku trusts...”, OR you could read it as “[as for] Deku, [I/you] trust him...” because if Deku is the object, and no subject is specified, the most likely subject is either Katsuki, or All Might.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE. since the object of the verb “trust” is unspecified, Katsuki could technically be talking about ANYTHING. in addition to Deku, he could be talking about himself, or All Might, or even All Might’s successor notebook (since he brings that up in the very next panel), or just TRUST IN GENERAL, I.E. DEKU IS JUST A VERY TRUSTING GUY.

basically, here are a few of the possible ways you could interpret this sentence, all of which, as far as I’m aware, are grammatically correct.

Deku trusts me

Deku trusts you

I trust Deku

you trust Deku

and to add on to that even further, the verb “shinjiru” which is used here basically means “to believe/to trust/to have faith in” in English, but each of those translations has a slightly different nuance. “I trust you” carries a slightly different meaning from “I believe in you”; the former implies emotional trust, whereas the latter has more of a “I have confidence in you and what you are capable of” type of feel to it. so the exact same sentence can have very different connotations depending on which English verb a translator decides to use.

so basically what it boils down to is that the translator has to take (1) their knowledge of the story and its characters and their relationships, and combine that with (2) the context of the sentence and the general conversation, and (3) their ability to accurately convey what they believe is the intended meaning in the new language, be it English or Spanish or whatever else. and hence in one translation it becomes “I trust Deku”, while in another it’s “Deku trusts you.”

but given the context, and how it’s worded, the latter is almost certainly what Horikoshi actually intended. for one, my understanding is that if “Deku” had actually been the object of the sentence, Katsuki would have most likely used a different particle (“ni”?) (ETA: according to @hanashimas it would have been “wo”; thank you!) rather than “wa.” but also because it just makes more sense in the context of their discussion. Katsuki uses this sentence as a way of segueing into the topic of the fourth OFA successor, and subsequently implies that he thinks All Might is hiding something from them. and so, as much as I love the sentence “I trust Deku” coming from Katsuki’s mouth (and it’s a lot, you guys. I loved it a LOT), I have to admit it makes much more sense for him to be saying “Deku trusts you, but you’re keeping something secret, aren’t you?” rather than being all “I TRUST DEKU SO MUCH BTW” just completely out of the fucking blue lmao.

anyway! so thus concludes our examination of this sneaky little sentence which proved to be just as troublesome as its owner! again please take this all with a grain of salt as my level of Japanese knowledge is basically “can read hiragana & katakana and plug things into jisho and google translate” lol. but this isn’t the first time Horikoshi’s dialogue has caused some confusion, and so I thought it was worth breaking it down because idk I JUST THINK IT’S INTERESTING OKAY.

[depressedacadamia]

The Anatomy of the Sun

Chapter II: One more Hour

A/N: Here’s chapter 2! I think I will be updating this around every 1-2 weeks because the chapters are really long. Anyway, here it the second chap, I hope you like it and please comment!

Word count:  17K

Warnings: Kissing (more like making out), a tad of angst, r!pe mention (the patient is a victm), some mental illness references if you squint.

Chapter I

Tagging: @showtunesandsolangelo

It’s all about lines. 

Jason was feeling good, he could feel it- today was going to be great. He finally managed to correct the cute barista who kept on calling him Jack and he had found the perfect parking space. He was excited- maybe he’d even get into an OR today and take back his 007 status. That was until he was almost hit by a motorcycle. He watched as the rider swerved from side to side until finally, they pulled up, leaning their motorcycle to the side as they pulled off their helmet. He watched as Hazel shook her head back and forth, letting her dark curls bounce about as she stretched her neck. She ran past him, shooting him a respectful nod as she entered the hospital with her motorcycle helmet in her gloved hands. 

The finish line at the end of residency.

Roommates. Nico was officially putting up a poster for roommates. He didn’t know why he didn’t just ask Hazel but at the same time, he did. Asking Hazel was a portal into too much family drama than he could handle. Having to attend family dinners with his family was bad enough, he didn’t want to start arguing with Hazel. Besides, he just wanted 2 complete strangers that he didn't have to interact with. He pressed his thumb into the pin, securing the poster.  

Waiting in line for a chance at the operating table.

And then, there’s the most important line. The line separating you from the people you work with.

Juniper was waiting to get the lift, her bag swinging in her hands. She had made a bad impression on everyone so far- maybe it was because she was a model. She couldn’t lie, people had lacked respect when talking to her in particular and she had a feeling that it had something to do with her ex- career.  Finally, the lift pinged and its doors opened, only for it to be full of people. She could tell they were all staring at her, not because she looked spectacularly bad that day (she had not slept properly in a month) but because they clearly all knew of her previous occupation. Juniper mumbled something about taking the stairs and decided to keep her head up high.

At least she wasn't under tons of crushing debt. 

  Hour 1

Nico slipped off his boots, trading them for some worn out trainers that were much more safe. The boots were old but he hadn’t worn them often due to their uncomfortable nature but for once, he had decided to wear them. Did he know why he chose them? No, he had just decided to slip them on.

“I would ask how last night went, but I think I know and I really don’t want to hear details,” Hazel said as she walked past Nico to gain access to her locker, referring to the bruise at the base of his collarbone.

“You’re just jealous that you haven’t scored an attending yet. I’ll bet you I’m in trauma today,” Nico bragged as he pushed his boots into the already overcrowded locker. Hazel rolled her eyes at her brother's typical behaviour.

“You know that he might think you guys are dating?” Hazel added, slipping on her white coat. Nico snorted as he pulled on his scrub shirt over his long sleeved t-shirt. 

“I’ve made it very clear to him that we are  not  dating,” Nico scoffed, “ Now all I have to do is wait for the chase.”

“The chase?”

“The chase, you know? The whole trying to pursue this person you like. It gets to a point where I will have all the power and he will do anything I want,” Nico explained. Hazel raised an eyebrow at his boastful tactics but decided to make no further comment. She did however want to make a comment about the roommates poster he had put up. 

  “What's up with the roommates poster by the way? Since when did you want people living with you?” Hazel asked, slamming her locker shut, just as Nico closed his. Her hair was frantic, similar to her brothers who's olive skin was particularly glowly today- she did not want to know what from.

“The place seems empty and I need other people paying rent to afford it,” Nico complained. Now it was Hazel’s turn to snort. It wasn’t quite as big a knowledge that the Di Angelo’s were also extremely wealthy than it was knowledge to know of their surgical legacy- Well Bianca’s surgical legacy. Hazel, who was not in the mood to have a confrontation with her brother, simply nodded and left.

 “Please! I’d be the perfect candidate! I’m super quiet and I won’t make a mess!” The intern opposite Nico begged as she told him all the things which supposedly made her a good roommate. Nico disagreed. There many reasons that he did not want her living with him but it came down to one which was she was much too young.

“No,” he concluded unsympathetically. He was about to get up and leave when he heard another plead from the intern. 

“But why?”

“Where were you when the challenger exploded?” He turned around, slightly annoyed but nonetheless, still intimidating as usual.

“What?” 

“The space shuttle, Challenger- where were you when it exploded?” he challenged.

“Uh, I think I was in kindergarten,” she looked up, trying to remember.  

Nico huffed out, “Exactly.”

 “Percy! We’re going to be late! We aren't going to be late, we’re  already  late!” Annabeth shouted as she stood by the door in her scrubs, her bag in hand. Percy, with his bed hair, rushed out of the kitchen in his scrubs, grabbing his jacket from the sofa before heading towards Annabeth and placing a soft kiss on her cheek in hopes of lightening up her mood. 

“Come on Wise girl, we gotta go,” he grinned cheekily as he grabbed her by the hand opening the door of their house. Annabeth, unable to stay mad for so long, sighed before giving in and heading to the car.

“We are never having morning sex again if it means we’re going to be late,” Annabeth warned. Percy, feigning mock offence, held a hand to his heart and gasped. 

“Your words wound me!” 

Annabeth slapped his shoulder as she started the car towards the hospital. Percy stopped mucking about and placed another chaste kiss on her cheek to make sure all was well.

Juniper and Jason were both complaining. Nico didn’t think he could handle one of them complaining, let alone trying to deal with both of them- that was a challenge. They were all leaning by the stairs right next to the nurses station which were next to the elevators. 

“But Nicoo, why would you put up a poster for roommates if you don’t want roommates? I swear, I’m a great chef and I clean obsessively!” Juniper argued, slumping her arm slightly on Jason. 

“I do want roommates but we’re working together 100 hours a week, you want to live together too?” he shot back. He held 4 mocha latte’s in one of those 4 cup holders you get at a coffee shop. Without asking, Juniper snatched two, shocking Nico. 

“That’s for not letting us be your roommates,” Juniper pouted as she handed one to Jason who nervously accepted. Jason leaned forward, trying to convince Nico,

“Please, I have to live with my sister and she blasts her music so much. I’m pretty sure my eardrums have popped,”Jason begged. Hazel, in this exact moment, joined them, giving Jason a sympathetic look before noticing the coffee in Nico’s hand. She casually took one from Nico, not caring about his reaction- she had taken his food before on several occasions (although the Happy meal incident did not go over well). 

“Why aren’t you taking one?” Hazel nodded her head towards the last coffee in his grasp as she sipped hers- she frowned. Nico never ordered mocha latte. She had expected to be tasting coffee with way too much creamer or a hot chocolate but instead it was the distinctly strong taste of coffee. 

“It’s not mine,” Nico hummed as his eyes searched towards the elevator, waiting for it to open. Hazel knew that Dr Solace was already here so what was Nico so invested for? It can’t have been Percy but perhaps the resident who would come with him

“Oh, you’re bringing bribes now?” Hazel pointed towards the coffee, thinking of Dr Chase.

“It’s not a bribe,” Nico defended, looking away sharply as he listened to Jason and Juniper continue to slander his name due to his lack of compassion with them living with him.

“Look, I just want to live with two total strangers that I won’t have to talk to or be nice to!” he confessed, throwing his free hand about in exaggeration. Unexpectedly, Dr Chase made her way down the main stairs (which surprised everyone as they expected her to be downstairs not upstairs).  She quickly assigned them all tasks.

“Jason, you’re running the code team* today. Nico, take the trauma pager.  Hazel, deliver the weekend labs to the patients and Juni- you’re on sutures,” She announced before heading back up the stairs, only to be stopped by Nico.  

“Dr Chase, I was hoping I would be able to assist in the OR today, maybe even perform a minor procedure. I think I’m ready.” He thrusted the mocha latte into her direction, “ Mocha Latte?” 

Dr Chase accepted the drink slowly before taking a small sip. It slightly burnt the tip of her tongue but she appreciated the gesture- however, unfortunately for Di Angelo, this did not mean that Dr Chase had accepted his request for surgery. 

“Wait, if he gets to cut, then I wanna cut too!” Hazel insisted.  

“So do I!” Juniper squished in between the interns. Jason, off to the side mumbled something about how it would be nice to get a second shot. However, this simply irked Dr Chase even more. She held her hand up signalling silence- at least the interns got this sign right.

“Stop talking,” she started, “Every intern wants to perform their first surgery. That’s not  your  job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No. Why? Because my interns are whiny. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, Having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered and having someone down in the Pit doing sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I’m so happy, I’m Mary freakin Poppins!” 

The interns, as clueless as ever, all stood staring at her with hopeful eyes as if they were baby birds expecting Annabeth to just feed them. She climbed a few steps before turning around and calling out,

“Why are y'all standing there, move!”

Quickly, all the interns scattered to their assigned jobs. 

  Hour 2

Will was waiting for an elevator as he noticed a short mop of black messy hair pick up a few files off the floor and clumsily place them on top of the overwhelming pile they already had in their small arms. Nico going to an elevator. Trying to not turn around and offer his help, Will kept to himself, smiling slightly at the small grunts the doctor beside him made. Nico finally managed to take a few more steps into Dr Solace’s eyeline, so he was standing next to him instead of behind. He tapped his foot as he decided to further his plan along.

“New york has ferry boats. There are also ferry boats where I come from. I didn’t know there were ferry boats here,” Nico mused. Will, slightly amused by Nico’s lack of geographical knowledge, retorted.

“New York is surrounded by water.”        

“Hence the Ferry boats,”  Nico concluded before admitting, “Now I have to like it here ya know. I wasn’t planning on liking it. I’m from Italy- genetically engineered to dislike everywhere- except Paris.” 

“I have a thing for Ferry Boats,” Will decided to add, smirking slightly as they entered the empty elevator. Nico being the stubborn person he was, attempted to press one of the buttons with his elbow and Will had to practically force the floor level out of Nico. It involved a lot of bickering back and forth until they finally agreed and the elevator doors closed.

Out of nowhere, Nico quickly said, “I’m not going out with you.”

Will, already wounded that his attemp- could he even say attempts? Nico had cut him off before he had even gotten a chance to say anything but he was determined to get to Nico.

“Did I ask you to go out with me?” He turned around, smiling slightly so he only showed some of his sparkling teeth, “Will you go out with me?”

“I ain’t dating you and we aren’t sleeping together again. You’re my boss,” Nico decided to cut to the chase.  

“I’m your boss's boss.”

“You're my teacher, and my teacher’s teacher,” Nico pretended to resist only resulting in Will mocking him.

“I’m your sister, I'm your daughter.”

“You’re sexually harassing me.”     

“I'm riding an elevator,” Will protested. Nico glanced at the back of Will’s head and thought

  His hair looked particularly neat today- it would be   such  a shame if it got messed up.

“I’m drawing a line. The line is drawn. There’s a big line. Don’t cross the line,” Nico breathed heavily, as if he was holding his breath. Will, still hellbent on teasing the cute intern, turned around, with his arms crossed and his hair as perfect as ever.

“So this line, is it imaginary or do I have to get you a marker?” he smirked, his voice low and teasing- Nico could tell. His crystal blue eyes were going all hazy and his baby pink lips were slightly tilted to the side as if they were just mocking Nicp by being there. They looked soft, no they  were soft- Nico knew that from experience. He could see a small mole on the side of his neck as well as a purplish bruise that he may or may have not left there.

Overcome by his lack of impulse control, Nico flung himself onto Will, dropping all the files in his arms and mashed his lips on his- a gesture that was returned just as harshly by Will. The files flew across the elevator floor as Nico’s hands came up to desperately weave themselves into Will’s hair. They fought for dominance in the kiss slamming each other into the elevator- it was hot, needy and  totally  inappropriate. But it seemed that neither of them cared. Their lips just couldn’t get enough of each other. It was like a fire was getting ignited, a fire that couldn’t be put out. It was in both of them, absolutely raging, uncontrollable. Will was tempted to tell Nico,  mind the hair  but just then Nico slightly bit at Will's bottom lip, pulling it backwards gently and sucked ever so slightly, before returning to the kiss that had Will plastered against the elevator wall.

So you want to play dirty Di Angelo?

Nico was not going to give Will the chance though. Absolutely consumed by the kiss, he slightly pulled at Will’s hair evicting a small, but low, growl out of Will’s throat. Nico wasn’t sure if he heard that correctly but just as he was about to test it again, he heard the ping of the elevator. The fire within was smaller but it hadn’t died.  Nico quickly pulled away and started scrambling towards the floor, trying to grab at the files as the elevator door slowly pulled itself open. Will, still a tad shocked, also helped, trying to organise the files into the right cases before handing them over to Nico. They stepped out of the elevator in sync, just like their pagers. Since Nico was also in trauma, he figured that whatever Dr Solace was getting paged for, he was also meant to be helping. 

“I’ll join after I finish with these files,” Nico called out, as Dr Solace nodded and hurried off. Nico smiled to himself as he noticed that Dr Solace’s hair was sticking up in several different directions.

 As Nico made his way into the Pit, he noticed a large crowd of doctors all looking slightly concerned- he hoped it was not for his patient- the more gruesome the injury, the more surgery required. However, the second he was told that it was a rape victim, he understood the facial expresions- they were disgusted at the crime, not the injuries attained. 

“Dr Solace has gone to prep for surgery along with Dr Jackson,” a nurse informed him as he entered the room. 

“Okay, we’ve got a 25 year old female, found down at the park, status post- trauma. She came in with a GCS* of 6. BP* is 80 over 60. Exam is significant for blunt head trauma, as well as unequal breath sounds, her right pupil is dilated and she’s ready for X-ray,” the nurse recited as Nico entered the room. He scanned his eyes across the room before his eyes landed on something familiar. 

Were those his boots?

No, they were obviously not Nico’s boots, but they were the same boots. He wanted to shudder, knowing a potential rape victim was wearing the same shoes as him the day she got attacked. It was weird right? It felt weird, it was like there was some weird unknown connection and that in a way, these 2 people were very much connected- as if they were the same people who were living parallel versions of each other's lives. During Nico’s quick zone- out session, a nurse continued to try to call his attention- something he only noticed when they snapped  Dr Di Angelo!

He quickly nodded as he grabbed his flashlight from his pocket and pulled her eyelids open, looking for a reaction from her pupils. 

“Call ahead to clear a CT, let them know I’m coming,” Nico commanded, “Load up the portable monitor and call respiratory for a ventilator*. I will get X-rays while I’m down there.”

As he helped wheel the patient out of the trauma room, he glanced back at the boots identical to his. There was a blood splatter at the front of it, the laces where messily undone and the heel was the same height. He wasn't acting paranoid right?  He couldn’t help but think that this was a weird coincidence.

Nico was slightly surprised to see Dr Zhang scrubbed in on the surgery with them rather than Dr Mclean- after all he was the head of Cardio and she was the head of General surgery- but even then, why any other attendings other than Percy and Dr Solace were required, Nico truly did not know. 

“What is she? 5’2, 180 pounds? And she took a beating like this,” Will mumbled.

“They should castrate the guy,” Percy announced from the other side of the table, trying to stop the swelling of her brain

“Look how shredded her hands are, she tried to fight back,” Will pointed out. 

“Tried to? The rape test came back negative, she kicked his ass!” Percy told them. Nico was invested to see how Dr Solace was repairing her hands while the 2 attendings talked about the bravery of the patient. 

“So we have a warrior among us, huh?” Dr Zhang joined in. Nico couldn’t help but feel a tinge of annoyance.  She had a name. She was a person. He didn’t know why he felt so strongly about a patient all of a sudden but he had a faint feeling that it had something to do with those boots. 

“Allison… that's her name…. Allison,” Nico cut in the conversation. All the attendings stopped to look at him. Percy, being as supportive as ever, smiled and nodded before returning to fixing her skull. Will looked at Nico, his eyes calm, like the ocean at rest. To an extent, it reminded Nico of Percy’s eyes- something that could always calm Nico down. He watched as Will’s lips slowly parted as he murmured Allison's name under his breath. Dr Zhang took a pair of clamps from the nurse before slowly pulling his arm back.

“I think I’ve found the cause of our rupture….more suction.”  As he drew his arm back, the surgical interns and residents crowded by his arm to have a look at the cause of the rupture. However, once the foreign object was removed, the surgeons became more and more confused- what exactly was this, a tumor? A mass? 

“What is this?” Dr Zhang turned towards the doctors. They all scooted closer to get a closer look. Nico took a glance for a couple of seconds before opening his eyes wide in horror as he realised what exactly he was looking at. He was in a state of horror and curiosity.

“Oh my god… she bit it off,” Nico started hesitantly. Dr Zhang, Dr Solace and Dr Jackson all looked to him, stopping their individual procedures, waiting for Nico to continue speaking. 

“Well, come on- spit it out!” Percy told Nico. Utterly conflicted, Nico decided to just spit it out- just as Percy had told him to. 

“That's a..that's a…. um that’s a penis.”

Almost on instinct, Dr Zhang called for a kidney bowl and practically flung the castrated appendage away from himself. Will couldn’t tell if he should laugh or be alarmed at how Nico was the only person able to identify the penis.

 Hour 5

The water ran over the surgeons hands as they scrubbed between all the crevices in their hands with soap. In between fingers, around thumbs and nail brushes scrubbed at fingertips. Dr Zhang and Dr Solace both stood side by side as they washed their hands practically in sync- just like their miraculous surgical skills.

“I can’t believe she made it through that surgery,” Will began as he switched off the tap by nudging it slightly with his elbow.

“She has a long road to recovery. Fighting off infection, physiotherapy and not to mention therapy itself,” Frank, in his honest nature, responded. He copied Will, turning off the running water with his elbow as he reached for some paper towels to dry off his hands.

“And she needs to wake up in the next 72 hours if she wants a chance at fighting. She’s a fighter, I believe she can make it.”

“Speaking of making it to places, we should get a drink later and you can tell me the long story of what makes a hot shot doctor leave a big apple for New York,” Frank offered as he threw his paper towel into the bin. 

Will shrugged slightly, “It’s a short story really- your Chief of surgery made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

“Chiron asked you to come?” Frank asked, genuinely shocked. 

 “Yeah, why?” Will turned around looking at Dr Zhang. He watched as Frank’s expressions twisted before he shook his head, gave a small smile and mumbled never mind. 

“Do you know what the Code Team does? They save lives- yeah, I know. I shock a heart and another patient gets to live to see another day, pretty cool huh?” Jason slightly bragged, trying to make conversation with Hazel - who he knew was overly competitive. He was leaning over the shoulder of Hazel who leaned over the desk at the nurses station, organizing the patient files and lab results.

“Bambi, don’t say another word until after the hunter shoots your mother,” Hazel’s voice drawled with boredom. Jason practically speechless only managed out a meek,

“I don’t like you.”

Hazel sharply turned around, “You know, I have a BA* from Smith, a PHD* from Berkeley and an MD* from Stanford and I'm delivering lab results. It's gonna take me ages to get through these-”

“-Well then you better get a move on with it,” Dr Chase walked past, surprising the doctor. Hazel slightly intimidated, tried to protest that she wasn’t complaining but it seemed that Dr Chase didn’t really care. A doctor behind her with thick curly hair and a smug expression stood, trying to keep his expression neutral. 

“This is Dr Underwood. Lucky Valdez got to get rid of him so now he’s got Mccaffrey and I’ve got Underwood on my service. Levesque, have him shadow you and show him how we run things on my service,” Dr chase commanded before walking off, slightly sashaying. 

“Hey, I’m Grover Underwood, nice to meet you.” He held his hand out to Hazel who looked at it and recoiled slightly before looking at it in disgust. Jason was still trying to figure out if he liked this guy, he seemed quite polite so far but he truly wondered what Underwood did to get kicked off Valdez’s service- he had heard that Valdez was a pretty chill resident, getting kicked off his service would seem pretty hard.

“You’re the pig who called Nico a nurse.. Yeah, I hate you on principal,” Hazel admitted looking him up and down. 

He did what?  Jason thought as he eavesdropped on the conversation beside him.

“And you’re the pushy, overbearing kiss ass… I hate you too,” Grover grunted.

Okay, I defo don’t like this guy, Jason decided.

“Should be fun then,” Hazel sarcastically smiled as they both set off just as Jason's pager  beeped signalling another Code Blue.

 Jason ran around the corner, nurses following him as he found the patient's room. Immediately, he introduced himself. He had become more and more familiar with this procedure and while it had taught him that Hades was enjoying his job a bit too much, he was also hopeful for the patient in every room he had to run to. 

“I’m Dr Grace and I’ll be running this code. What do we have?”  

“57 year old male with an asystole pulse*,” A nurse from beside the bed answered. Jason ordered the defibrillators to be used as he had another person put on compressions, another on the ambu bag and someone administering drugs.

“Charging to 200, clear!”

 The Pit was quite full as Dr June walked in, searching for her next patient. She picked up a chart from the nurses station that was positioned next to the emergency entrance and flipped the page to see the name.  Mrs Lu, Bed 3

“Hi Mrs Lu, I'm Doctor June. I'm gonna sew up your wound, you’re going to need around 6 stitches.” Juniper turned around to start setting up the equipment from the tray only to hear a frantic cry of words coming from behind her. She only recognised the chinese word for  hurt  but even then, she could not decipher what Mrs Lu was saying. She sighed, wondering how long it would be until she could get a hold of a translator. She was tempted to ask Dr Zhang but she knew it was selfish and plain old rude of her to assume that Dr Zhang would be able to help her. She decided to wait for a translator. 

 Nico and the penis in a box. Yes, you read that correctly. Nico was holding the penis in a box or how he would like to put it, the  forgein object in a cooler. They were making their way towards the office of the Chief Of Surgery. He slightly remembered the walk up to the room, the carpet and walls seeming familiar, like a second home. As he walked into the office, he was surprised to find Secretary Hedge there instead of Chief Chiron. He rapped his knuckles on the door gently, grasping the attention of the man sitting in the chair. 

“Hey, I was told to leave this with the Chief.” He raised his arm with the cooler in his hand. 

“Is that it?” A seriously over eager Secretary Hedge asked. Nico slowly nodded, trying to not fuel the secretaires curiosity. In a complete turn of events, Hedge asked,

“Can I see it?” Hedge watched as Nico struggled to keep his facial muscles under control- laugh or cringe, Nico did not know. Just as Hedge muttered a small, forget I asked, Chiron walked in with his white jacket and a large smile on recognising Nico. 

“Nico! It’s good to see you!”

At this, Nico smiled. He had known Chiron for very long but the mass majority of the time that he had seen him, the attention was entirely focused on the potential for his sister- not much for him. He felt a bit guilty that he was enjoying the shine of her mentor while she was struggling but he finally felt noticed. 

“How’s Bianca? I heard she was leaving the Mayo Clinic. Is she going back to the UN?” Chrion asked almost immediately. Nico could feel all the happiness and life in him slowly drain.So nothing had actually changed. He was still in his sister's shadow despite the fact that she wasn’t even here. Gods, she wasn’t even in this time period! Bianca was in a nursing home thinking she was reliving her surgery days and here was Nico somehow still under her shadow. If Bianca’s mentor wasn’t willing to see Nico’s potential as a surgeon- how many other Doctors thought that he was only here due to his Di Angelo status? Percy? Dr Chase? Did Doctor Solace think that? 

Why does it concern me the most if Dr Solace doesn’t see past my status?

Nico decided that it must be because Dr solace was the head of his favourite department- Trauma. 

“Uh, no. She’s taking time off-”

“-To write another book I suppose?” Chiron cut in, smiling as he picked up some papers off his desk and moved them underneath a folder. Nico simply attempted a smile in return, a gesture that did not alarm Chiron- he had known Nico Pre-Bianca and her alzehmiers. That Nico had been a very smiley person. Nico, who could have sworn his facial muscles were deteriorating as he smiled, decided to move the conversation to the matter at hand- the penis in a bo-

- The foreign object in a cooler .

“Well, I’ve got it,” Nico said half heartedly, lifting the cooler in his hand up slightly. Chiron turned to his secretary, conversing a few words with him, as if Nico had never entered the room.

“Uh, Hedge, how long did the cops say they’d be?”

“You know how slow they always are so he better take it with him-”

“-Take it with me? You want me to take a penis around the hospital with me?” Nico cut off Hedge, with growing anxiety- he did not want to have to babysit a penis. Gosh, being on Solace’s service was meant to result in fun, not this!

“It's the chain of custody rules. All medical matter in a rape must stay with the person who collected it until its placed into police custody,” Chiron ,who was secretlty relived to not have to keep the penis, recited. 

“So I have custody over a penis,” Nico deadpanned. Sheepishly, the secretary nodded trying to not laugh at the poor kids' situation. 

“Until the cops come from it, of course,” Chiron reminded Nico, as if knowing that the police would take their sweet time was any more re- assuring.

“And what am I meant to do with a penis?” Nico frantically asked, his cool persona falling and being slowly replaced by one of panic and desperation. Chiron and Hedge simply gave obscure looks at Nico’s question before looking back down at the papers in their hands.

 Hour 10

Hazel sighed. She had been sighing all day. Every patient either had a benign tumour* or a condition of no interest to her. When was someone going to be seriously ill? They were surgeons for god's sake, not lab running rats! Both Hazel and Grover made their way to the next patients room, seriously disappointed. On entering the room, they both saw the family crowded round the patients bed, holding their hands together like there was a prayer commencing. 

“You have a disorder called multinucleate cell angiohistiocytoma. It's not a cancer or a sarcoma, it's very rare but minor. You will be discharged today,” Hazel, slightly bored, attempted a smile. The family, still taking in the good news, were catatonic for around 5 seconds before all hell broke loose. There was crying, cheering, claps and laughs. Grover and Hazel both looked at each other with the same expression-  Get me out of here .

“Wait wait, does this mean I don’t need surgery?” The patient ,still propped up by his elbows in his bed, inquired. Hazel simply nodded before getting pulled into a bear hug, against her will may I add, and practically almost suffocated to death. Her eyes widened as she stared into Grovers soul trying to get him to help her. Unfortunately for Hazel, Underwood was much more invested in watching her uncomfortable encounters.

Jason was sitting in a chair, letting it spin it around and round. The nurses station was quite empty with only the occasional nurse in and out. He stopped his spinning to bury his head in a very interesting chart that consisted of a case to do with a-

-  Clink!

Nico set down the cooler on the desk with a loud sound that jolted Jasons’s head out of his head before letting his eyes land on the cooler. Jason, curious and wanting to engage in conversation with Nico began questioning the contents of the cooler. Nico who really did not want to tell Jason attempted to warn him

“Ooh, what’s in the cooler?”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

“No.” Jason got up from his seat and came to stand next to Nico, “ No, I do wanna know.”

Nico, who really wasn’t about to greatly resist, decided to tell Jason. Afterall, if it ruined Jason’s day as well, it would mean he wouldn't be the only miserable person moping about in the hospital. 

“It’s a severed penis.” Nico shrugged quite nonchalantly as he gained amusement from the horrified expression slowly growing on Jason’s face. He watched as Jason's expressions contorted between fascination and disgust, trying to figure out which emotion to settle on. He wanted to prove Nico wrong but at the same time didn’t want Nico to not like him.

“I don’t think I wanted to know that.” Jason looked back down at his book, with a meek expression and his head slightly bowed as if he was praying. As Jason entered a world of truly unnecessary overthinking, Grover and Hazel came in arguing, what about, Jason did not know and in all honesty, after what Nico had told him- he did not want to know. Deciding he wanted to shift his discomfort to someone else, he looked to Hazel.

“Do you know Di Angelo is babysitting a penis in a jar?” he pointed towards the cooler sitting on the table top. Hazel, with piqued curiosity, quickly made her way over towards the cooler and opened the lid, taking a quick peek at the bitten off contents before shutting it. 

“It’s a cooler, not a jar,” Nico whined slightly, not really directing his comment towards anyone. 

“Talk about taking a bite out of crime,” Hazel commented as she picked something out of Nico’s hair. Nico didn’t really know whether to thank her or to resist the gesture. It felt weird- right? It was weird that Hazel was filling Bianca’s void. It was weird that Nico first thought about Hazel when people talked about his sister. It was weird that Nico was completely okay with this. He felt it was simply not right but at the same time, he didn’t want it to stop. Was he being unfaithful to Bianca? Was he betraying her? Or would she want him to move on from her, grow closer with his family who were actually lucid.

Jason watched Nico’s facial expressions with intensity- such intensity that had Nico not been stuck in a hole of problems, he a hundred percent would have noticed and even been creeped out by Jason’s intense stare. Despite only knowing Nico for around a month, he cared deeply about him. He wanted to know what was so concerning to him so much that he froze up and his eyes went all glazed like he was on autopilot. Nico was a closed off person who wore all black and covered up his secrets with wicked smiles and sarcastic quips but Jason could see the vulnerable child within Nico. He felt responsible for him and everything that happened to him.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jason asked tenderly, making Nico lift his head- effectively stopping him from daydreaming. For a second, when Nico lifted his head, Jason saw a glitter in Nico’s eyes that reminded him of innocence. Youth, life and calamity- instead of the empty, cold and lifeless onyx eyes that could give even Lucifer nightmares.

“The rape victim I had today, Allison, she had the same shoes as me. And ever since… It just doesn’t sit well with me, ya know? I never wear those boots normally because they’re so uncomfortable And it’s… stupid and I’m tired so nevermind, just leave it.” Nico batted his hand, dismissing the subject. Jason raised his eyebrows at the abrash statement and gesture before attempting Nico’s wicked smile.

“Do you know what you need?” Jason wiggled his eyebrows, letting the secret into the open like a breath of air. Immediately, Nico caught onto what Jason was talking about. He was offended and shocked that Jason had been doing it without him- This was their thing and Jason was doing it behind his back without him? The betrayal was heartbreaking. What next? Solace sleeping with someone else?

“No! It’s sick and twisted and we said last time was the last time,” Nico firmly said. He watched as Jason’s face contorted between guilt and excitement.

“You’ve been doing it without me?” Nico released. Jason shuffled his feet together nefor mumbling a ‘maybe’.

“Do you know what would happen if anyone knew?” Nico huffed out but Jason had made up his mind.

“I’m doing it- you can come with me or you can sit here and be miserable,” Jason confirmed as he dragged Nico by the white collar, which was considerably easy when you realised that Nico was an entire head shorter that Jason- and some would argue even more.

Nico and Jason had their faces pressed up onto the glass staring at the cute babies in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit or as the doctors would simply call it- the NICU. Nico couldn't help the overwhelming smile that made his way onto his face as he stared at the cute babies as they attempted to talk, throwing their limbs about cluelessly. He listened to Jason who urged them with non-existent words and funky sounds that was considered the universal baby language. Nico looked at Jason- his platinum blonde hair and faintly light blue eyes reminded him to an extent of Will but at the same time- there was a clear difference. Will had faint freckles that decorated his face like a cake being decorated by icing sugar- whereas Jason had a pale complexion. Will’s hair was more of a golden blond and reminded of Nico of sunrise on a summer morning- hot, warm and some may even say beautiful and then there was his eyes-

- Why was he reciting this like he memorised it in the shower for fun?

Nico decided to put Wil- no,  Solace  out of his mind. He listened to the absolutely adorable sounds that Jason was making- he reminded him of Bianca when she used to babysit Estelle- Percy’s younger sister. Estelle was absolutely adorable and Nico considered her to be his younger sister as well, considering the amount of time she spent with the Di Angelo’s- especially during Percy’s med school and residency years when he was meant to be babysitting Estelle and had instead handed her to Nico and Bianca. 

“You are such a softie,” Nico said, giggling slightly at Jason who was still cooing at the babies. For a couple of moments afterwards, Jason froze. Was Nico complimenting him? Or was it an insult? What on earth did the word ‘softie’ mean here? Did Nico like sofites? Or was ‘Softie’ Nico’s equivalent of ‘ absolute loser’? However, before Jason was able to come to any sort of conclusion, his pager beeped, signalling another Code Blue that he had to respond to. 

“Ah shit, I’ve got a code to run, I’ll catch you later.” Jason waved before breaking into a jog and leaving. After Nico said his goodbyes to Jason he continued watching the babies for some more time. He was fascinated- how did humanity get from there to here. The babies were pure and new and hadn’t been exposed to the harsh realities of the world- how will they turn to what Nico has become? How did they get from Point A to point B? As Nico pondered over these philosophical thoughts, he carried watching the babies but something caught his eye. He could have sworn that baby he just saw went blue momentarily. It was crying and thrashing about but maybe Nico was only seeing things. He was tired, sleep deprived and if he had to be honest- this wouldn't have been the first time Nico saw things that weren’t actually there.

He watched it again, more intensely. With an analytical fine tooth comb. There- the baby turned blue again! So he wasn’t hallucinating! He rushed into the room, quickly taking out the chart of the baby and scanning his eyes over the info. He was aware that if he was caught, the consequences would not be great. That was probably the understatement of the year. After finishing with the chart, he set it down and took his stethoscope and started listening to the heart of the baby- something there wasn’t right, Nico could feel it. Nico did not often have such strong feelings but he had learnt that when they occurred, they were never wrong. 

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing here?” a doctor with pink scrubs walked in. 

“There were no tests ordered and the baby has a heart murmur-” Nico began, taking the stethoscope out of his ears. 

“-I know and you’re surgery, you are not authorised to be here. Do you know what could happen if you were caught?” The intern pressed on but Nico refused to step down here.

“Are you going to do any tests to confirm?” Nico asked, his tone clearly one of concern.

“It’s a benign systolic ejection murmur*. It will go away with age.”

“So you aren’t doing any tests.” Nico realised that he couldn’t win this in any way- well for now. He started to make his way towards the door before the intern decided to slam another attempt at a guilt tripping insult at him but in reality just made Nico doubt their abilities. He seriously felt bad for the Valdez resident if these were the meatheads he had to teach.

 Hour 15

Frank felt betrayed. He had to say, he was never truly familiar with such a feeling. He had experienced the odd chance of it but in reality Frank was used to succeeding- in fact he had dedicated all his life to it. Many people saw him as soft, simple and easy to beat opponent but in reality that was one of his greatest strengths- people underestimated him until they met him. To an extent this had made Frank slightly arrogant- but he wouldn’t say it wasn’t necessary. The truth is, every surgeon has to be arrogant to believe that they can cut open another human and somehow fix them as if they were a god like deity but right now, Frank wasn’t thinking that he was arrogant, no. He was thinking that Chiron was being arrogant- believing that he was all so big and mighty and could just throw Frank about with his lies and schemes. 

“Oh Chiron! So you asked Solace to come here?” Frank confronted, his hands resting on his hips. 

“Yeah, Solace was an old student of mine...” Chiron trailed off, unaware of the purpose of the conversation.

“Oh so he left a private practise in Austin, Texas just because  you asked?”

“Yes.”

“No other reason? Just a favour for an old professor,” Frank said with a hint of sarcasm lingering behind the words.

“It will be years before I retire,” Chiron began to reassure, understanding the nature of the conversation of the root of Frank's passive aggressive attitude.

“ Chief of surgery is mine, you told me so,” Frank reminded him.

“It was yours, now I'm not so sure.”

“I am the best surgeon here! I have the lowest mortality rate, you can’t just bring someone-”

“-Ask me why. Ask me why I'm not so sure of you," Chiron repeated, trying to get Frank to understand his motives. Chiron liked Frank, they had done a lot for each other. In fact, it had been Chrion who had helped Frank get over his low self- esteem, something that had bothered Frank for almost his entire life. 

Frank, feeling defeated, almost stormed off. He knew he shouldn’t feel guilty but he couldn’t help letting a bit of it creep in as he remembered how somehow, he led Chiron, his mentor, to believe that his low self-esteem no longer existed. Maybe it was Chiron’s great desire to no longer see Frank suffer that made him see past it but Frank knew better. He wasn’t mad because the job may not be his, no- he had only wanted the job due to the benefits that came with it. Frank was mad because Chirom bringing in another ex-mentee of his simply brought his low self-esteem back all over again.

 It was like med- school except this time, there were actual lives at stake. Did Chiron truly feel that he wasn’t good enough- that Solace would be a better Chief of Surgery better than Frank? He didn’t want to admit it, but Frank knew that he had become somewhat arrogant in an attempt to lie to himself and hide the lack of self esteem. The arrogance had only started when he was in residency but over the years, as he saved more lives, it accumulated. Yet, somehow, Frank still did not think it was good enough. Clearly Solace was. Why else would Chiron bring another threat to Frank’s anxiety if Chiron didn’t believe Frank's anxiety had gone? Surely Chiron wouldn’t do this knowing how badly it would hurt Frank.

Would he? 

 Hazel was bored. She knew it, Grover knew it and so did every nurse in a 1 metre radius of the stretcher that she sat in with the charts of her patients in a stack in front of her. This was New York Presbytarian! They were meant to have the best surgical residency in the country and here she was delivering lab results to over joyous patients- none of which had any sort of interesting condition. You’d think that someone in a hospital would be close to dying but no, it seemed that all of her patients were in ‘tip top’ condition. 

“People need to get sick because I refuse to spend my residency doing this,” Hazel complained as she flipped the pages of the chart. 

“Exactly. How can we be in the OR if people are just gonna live?” Grover agreed. They continued complaining, depressed about their current state. Hazel wanted to get this done and over with. The quicker she finished the job, the quicker she could get into a surgery. She took the 20 case files and separated them into 2 piles, each with 10 files. 

“Here.” She handed one pile to Grover as she got up, “ You take 10, I take 10. We go in, we go out- no hugging, no laughing, no crying. Don’t be slow,” she instructed.

“Slow? If anything you’re the slow one,” Grover retorted as they made their way to the hallway. 

“You wanna bet?” Hazel challenged, stopping a second to look at Grover. He mumbled a ‘You’re on’ before they both ran off, trying to finish first. 

“You literally aren't letting anyone live with you!” The psychology resident complained. Nico turned on them. 

“Favorite 80’s band?” 

“That has nothing to do with this!”

“I’m still waiting.” he tapped his foot impatiently. 

“I don’t know, the Bangles?” They shrugged cluelessly while Nico scoffed. 

“Yeah, absolutely not.” Nico began walking away- he had to babysit a penis after all.

“Is there even a right answer?”  

“AC/DC, The rolling stones, Guns N’ Roses,” Nico called out, not looking back, as he walked away.

“You will be free to leav- OOF!” Grover was cut off by an enormous bear hug from almost the entire family. He wanted to push them all away from him- after all, 3 families had hugged him so far and he had only visited 4 of the 10  patients he had. If he continued at this rate, Hazel was for sure to win. 

“You have a cyst on your lymph node- but tests have confirmed that it was not cancerous which means you probably have some sort of infection- we will put you on broad range antibiotics before discharge tomorrow,” Hazel recited as she dodged a hug aiming for her resulting in 2 family members in an embrace. She quickly slipped out of the room without notice and smiling to herself- 5 down, 5 to go. 

“Clear!” Jason called again, it had been 26 minutes into a code without any reaction to CPR, drugs or shocking. Jason knew what was coming next. He could feel it, like it was hanging over his shoulder waiting for his patients to walk into their arms. Death hung at the shoulder of every doctor as their guardian angel- something he remembered Nico saying. When he had said it, he didn't remember.  He put his arm out, signalling the nurse to stop CPR. He took a shaky breath.

“Time of death, 15:45.”

 Hour 20

Nico watched as the heart monitor stayed stable, reaching the apex before dropping and repeating. Allison. Attempted rape. Boots. Those were the words just floating around his head. Here she was on a vent, alone, like a vegetable and only hours ago she had been alive- smiling, talking,  fighting. 

“I've called every hospital in the country. Sooner or later the guy who did this is gonna seek medical attention and when he does, that penis you’re carrying around is gonna nail him,” a voice coming from behind Nico said. He turned his head slightly to see the golden curls that he had messed up this morning. Nico’s eyes were cast back onto the lonely woman. How could anyone so vulnerable be so alone?

“Where's her family?” The words slipped out of Nico’s mouth before he could stop them. Will shook his head slightly, his hair bouncing slightly from the impact. 

“Doesn't have one.”

“No siblings?” Nico asked, thinking of Hazel and Bianca.

“Nope, both parents are dead. She moved to New York 3 weeks ago. Welcome to the city,”   Will took a bite out of an apple miserably. Nico too was miserable- they both had good reason to do so. What kind of world did they live in where the system was so disadvantaged to anyone who wasn’t white, male, heterosexual and neurotypical? What kind of system forced minorities to work in society's most unwanted but vital jobs? What kind of system forced women to be terrified of walking home alone- day or night? 

“Nico? Are you okay?” Will’s soft and concerned voice broke into Nicos thoughts. The question left him speechless- was he okay? The cynical, sarcastic and natural answer was No- obviously no. But for some reason, Nico did not want to say no, but rather leave his own pain to himself- not burden anyone else with it. 

“Yeah.. I just gotta do something.” With that, Nico ran off looking for Dr Zhang.

 Nico found Dr Zhang climbing the stairs. The hospital had a comfortable endless buzz, something that all the staff were used to- Frank was hoping to get a calm and perhaps even silent moment to himself. Instead, he got an intern. 

“Dr Zhang, there’s this patient. It’s a baby in peds and they had a tetralogy spell with a heart murmur,” Nico started, his legs struggling to keep up.

“Did Ped’s ask for a consult?”

Nico stayed silent, partially because he didn’t want to feel guilty for lying and partially because he did not have a lie on him- not one that he could pull off at least.

“Di Angelo, you’re a bright kid but we can’t just walk in there without a Peds consult. It’s not like I’m the Chief of Surgery,” Frank said sympathetically as he walked off.

 “Hehehee, you’reee hott,” the drunk slurred as they leaned slightly forward in a terrible attempt to flirt with Juniper. Juniper still stood in the Pit, it’s fluorescent lights giving her a headache- along with the noise levels and annoying patients. Slightly disgusted by the stench of alcohol on their breath, she pushed them back gently, making sure they didn’t flop onto the stretcher. 

“You’re drunk,” she deadpanned as she prepared the sutures, “And you also need to hold still.”  

Juniper was sick of the Pit, she was sick of the flourecsant lights that made her skin look like puke and most of all, she was sick of her patients; drunk and disorderly were the mass majority and since the morning, not one major casualty had come through those doors other than the rape case Nico had been assinged to. 

“I know you! You’re that lady from the magazine with the red bikini..” they trailed off, their voice in a musing and questioning tone. Juniper had to physically stop herself from scoffing- It was a pink bikini. She didn’t hate her fans but sometimes people made it weird, especially drunk ones who enjoyed invading her personal space a tad too much. 

“It was a pink bikini.”

 The seats by the hospital doors were the perfect place (other than the vending machines) to hide from your residents- so naturally, Nico and Hazel were there, camping away during lunch. The penis in a box sat in the chair next to him as he nibbled at the rainbow sour gummy strips.

“Watcha doing?” Hazel asked as she made her way towards him. 

“I’m sitting with my penis.”

“Which one?”

In response to this, Nico scrunched up his face in a sarcastic, sardonic smile that read  No <3. 

“I kissed McDreamy...in an elevator. I was having a bad day,” Nico started with his voice relatively quiet. 

“So what do you do on your bad days, make out with McDreamy?”

“Yeah that and carrying around a severed penis just makes everything so shiny and happy,” He retorted in response to his sister. 

“Jason said Allison was wearing your boots.”

“…. It's weird right? “

“It’s weird that you care so much. They’re boots and popular ones too- anyone could have them,” Hazel argued. Nico opened his mouth to respond but in that moment a bunch of frantic shouting cut them off. Behind them, right outside the hospital a man had pulled up. His skin was sickly pale, there was blood all over his legs and groin and he was struggling to move. 

Nico looked at his facial features and did not expect for the man to look… well normal. For some reason, he had envisioned the man to look evil- to resemble hate itself but he just looked normal. That's when it hit Nico- rapists don’t look like rapists. They look like average people because that's what their best advantage is- the trusting nature of humanity. They don’t look evil because they need to fit in, to gain the trust of others and protect their reputation. They look normal because anybody could be a rapist- they don’t wear posters pointing it out and it’s not written on their foreheads. That's what they do best- hide. 

Nico and the transport staff rushed the man in the gurney towards the operating room, their legs moving as fast as possible. The police were going to arrive soon but for now, he would have to be handcuffed to his bed. The rapist was found, Allison was alive, now what? There was no way they’d be able to re attach the penis and honestly, Nico did not want to- in his eyes, the rapist got exactly what he deserved

“Call reception and tell them we need security up here ASAP,” Nico ordered, finally taking charge. As the gurney was charged into the surgical department, Dr Chase caught on. 

“What dya have Di Angelo?” 

“Take a look for yourself.” He nodded towards the middle of the man's body, more specifically his groin. Annabeth quickly lifted up the drapes before letting them drop- here eyes widened and she looked at Nico with disbelief painted across her face. 

“Page the Chief and Solace and tell them we’ve got the rapist,” she commanded as she took Nico’s position on the gurney and continued wheeling him to an OR.

The heart monitor was beeping steadily. The heart was moving- beating. Nico and Hazel, stood side by side watching Dr Chase performing surgery- unfortunately, they weren't assisting however they were still getting tested on their medical knowledge. The OR had it’s regular flicker of lights, the smell of antiseptics and the hues of blue across the room. 

“I saw Allison, you can't believe the beating that she took and then you see this!” Nico whisper-shouted towards Hazel.

“It's like that old saying- you should see the other guy.” Hazel nodded.

“Why aren't we attempting to re-attach the severed penis?” Annabeth's stern but questioning voice cut through their conversation. 

“Teeth tear not slice- you can only reattach when there's a clean cut. If she had sliced it off with a knife, perhaps then we could re-attach,” Hazel quickly recited. 

“And the digestive juices didn't leave a lot of the flesh to work with,” Nico added on.

“So what are we doing?” Dr Chase asked, a hint of boredom lingering in her voice. 

“Sewing him up minus a large part of the family jewels,” Nico snorted slightly. 

“What will his outlook be?” Dr Chase asked while holding her hand out for the nurse to take the instrument out of her hand. 

“He will be urinating out of a bag for a very very  very long time,” Hazel said, slightly pleased. 

“Not to mention he will never be able to have sex again,” Nico said, not in least bit sympathetic. 

“Oh too bad, what a shame,” Hazel drawled. 

“Let's all take a moment to grieve,” Annabeth said sarcastically before immediately asking for a clamp. 

 Hour 25

“Chief!” Frank jogged, trying to catch up with Chiron while waving frantically. He had taken time off and realised if he wanted this, he had to think about everyone- not just himself. He needed to learn his faults and how to get over them. 

“Frank.” Chiron nodded, “Do you need something?”

“Why can’t I be chief? You helped me before, you believed in me, what changed?”

“You really want to know?” Chiron sighed looking at Frank who nodded. “You’re too comfortable in your job. You never go the extra step. Your arrogance isn’t impressive- if you want to be chief Frank, you have to earn it.”

The words knocked Frank back-  My arrogance isn’t impressive? If I recall correctly,    you  told me to be more arrogant and now it’s a problem? You tell someone to do something and then you tell them to do the exact opposite. What in the name of Pluto is his problem?

 The interns were all pretty different but they could agree that they  hated  their job. They were sitting on the stretchers by the vending machine (which at this point had become their hangout away from the attendings) and were complaining- which apparently makes up 80% of all human conversations.

“My head hurtss,” Grover groaned, throwing backwards against the wall. 

“Maybe you have a brain tumor,” Hazel said after sipping some coffee.

“No, you want me to have a tumor.”

“I'd personally rip your face off if it meant I got to scrub in,” Hazel confessed, not feeling guilty in the slightest. Juniper made her way from the vending machine, holding a snickers bar like her life depended on it. 

“I've been suturing all day, my hands are numb and I'm regretting not taking foregin languages in high school,” she sighed as she plopped her bottom onto the stretcher, leaving space for Nico and Jason. 

“At least you’re helping people,” Jason called as he put his hand up the vending machine in an attempt to retrieve his chips which had decided to not obey the laws of physics and get stuck. Nico who stood behind him shuffled Jason out the way, gave the vending machine a violent kick before the packet of chips fell out, directly into Jason's hands- that was until Nico literally stole them from him.

“At least you get to practise freakin medicine!” Grover called out, sick of delivering lab results to patients.

“Mrs Lu, the chinese lady, I had to send her away. I mean I stiched her up but she stayed camping in the Pit- she left in the end though,” Juni said in a defeated tone.

“The police can't send some crime person down so I have to spend the night with a penis,” Nico complained before looking over to Grover, “ Grover don’t make the joke.”

Grover tutted, “It was too easy anyway.”

Finally, Jason cut in the conversation. They were all sick of being used and not actually learning. Gosh, did the hospital not realise that they were also doctors- not useless med students who couldn’t find their heads from their ass! 

“Who here has no idea what they’re doing?” Jason cried. Everyone, except Grover, shot their hands up. Nico was not ashamed to admit he did not know what he was meant to be doing- saving lives or babysitting penises? 

“Are we meant to be learning something? Because I don’t think I'm learning anything!” Jason added as he slumped further in the stretcher that they were all sharing.

“Except how not to sleep,” Juniper retorted. 

“It's like there’s this wall and the attendings and the residents are over there being surgeons and were over here being-” Hazel started passionately but was cut off by her brother. 

“- Suturing, code running, lab delivering penis minders,” Nico finished. 

“I hate being an intern,” Grover concluded. Nico seated beside him grunted in agreement. The interns continued their mindless complaints until Dr Chase walked in, her expression stern and her arms resting on her hips in a manner that screamed  And what exactly do you think you’re doing?  All it took was a raised eyebrow from Dr Chase and the interns were scrambling off the stretcher and rushing off back to their jobs. She snatched the unopened pack of chips that Nico had left on the stretcher and helped herself. 

Nico often made very bad decisions. It was something the people around simply expected of him at this point- if it wasn’t Bianca then it was Hazel or Percy (but normally Percy would also join in on the bad decisions). Despite being warned not to, Nico found himself staring at the baby from the NICU earlier. As Nico looked up slightly, he saw 2 people cooing towards a baby and Nico could only assume that they were the parents. He could feel the dumb and stupid thoughts brewing and bubblinmg in his mind. He tried to stop them, he tried to tell himself to not move towards them but he couldn’t help himself- he never could in all honesty. While Nico was a very patient person sometimes, some impulses just couldn’t be left on stand-by. 

As Nico finished explaining to the parents what he believed to be wrong with the child, the intern in pink scrubs from earlier who had specifically told Nico to leave walked into the communal area. Nico was absolutely busted- car lights on, bambi style busted. 

“I warned you to not come back here,” They snarled before beheading into another room and practically grabbing Leo Valdez by the arm. Leo slowly retracted his arm out of their grasp before dusting it lightly.

“Hi, can I help you?” Leo started, his lips parted in a gorgeous and genuine grin- something that even Nico had to admit was cute. 

“If our baby is sick, we want him treated,” The parents started, their voices thick with worry and concern. Nico could practically hear the tremble in it. 

“Of course, which child is yours?” Leo asked with his professionalist front- he’d have to deal with the interns later. 

Frank hated the interns. He hated Chiron and he hated his life. Not necessarily in that order. He was used to the incompetence of the interns. He was used to them making mistakes or hesitating but the one thing he wasn’t used to was pure disobedience. He had directly told Di Angelo to  not  approach peds or any of their cases. So what exactly Di Angelo was doing with Valdez and his intern talking to a pair of seemingly very concerned parents, Frank honestly did not know and would have liked to have kept it that way. 

“Dr Valdez, can we speak for a second?” Frank asked. He and Leo were good friends, he knew that Leo wouldn’t get offended or turn it into a scandal. 

“Sure, I’d like to know what on earth is going on though. No offence, but your intern shouldn’t be here,” Leo started, his hand brushing his curls out of his face.

“I told you earlier to not come back and look who’s here!” The intern snarked in Nico’s face. 

“The baby had a tetralogy spell* earlier and a heart murmur- they aren't consistent with a benign systolic ejection murmur!” Nico argued. Frank turned to the intern, he could already see them faltering. He wouldn’t call himself scary- it was mainly just him being tall and built like a marine, not that he really cared. 

“How sure are you? How sure are you that it is a benign systolic ejection murmur? 100 percent sure?” Frank turned to the intern. He watched as their face twisted, like they had just realised that they had been a fly trapped in a spider's web.

“Are you 100 percent sure about the diagnosis?” Leo turned towards his resident, a look of hesitation and slight horror creeping up onto his face. His previous interns from the past 2 years were so much easier than this. Everyone listened to him, barely anyone died and there weren’t sneaky, semi- famous italian legacies sneaking into his department. Not that he blamed Nico, in fact he had to admit that he was secretly impressed with the doctors observation skills- especially considering he was an intern. But after all, he was a Di Angelo. 

“I dunno...like 75 percent..” They mumbled towards the floor. Gods, if his intern was wrong, it would be on his ass! How on earth was he about to mess up so badly? This was his 3rd year in residency- he couldn’t afford to screw up. 

“Can I see the patient's chart?” Dr Zhang held his hand out towards the intern who hastily handed it over- as if it was a ticking time bomb. Dr Zhang flipped through a few pages, pretending to read them. In reality, he had already made up his mind and was just humming the tune to  Stayin alive . 

“Valdez, the patient's on my service now. That chill with you?” Frank concluded. Leo gave a thumbs up, slightly relieved to have some sort of work off his back but also slightly saddened that an interesting case was snatched out of his hands by his ignorant intern. 

“I want an EKG*, chest X- ray and an Echo*, let's make it quick, we don't have all day,” Frank told Nico, who nodded before quickly running off.

“He can do that?” They whispered into Leo’s ear with an astonished tone.

“Yeah, he's attending.”    

“So is your girlfriend.”   

 “She is not my girlfriend!” Leo protested as the intern raised an eyebrow. Leo did not have a strong case here, considering Calypso was always seen with him or vice Versa. In fact, they often arrived and left the hospital together, worked on similar cases and they knew each other's coffee orders like the back of their hand. It wasn’t like anything could happen between them. In reality, they arrived and left together due to their apartments being in a close proximity, they had similar cases co-incidentally due to their specialties and well, the coffee orders… Well that was hard to explain- how would Leo say  Oh yeah, I just watch her everytime she orders her coffee because her lips look very very nice and soft and when she takes a sip, her eyes flutter a bit and it makes her eyes look magical and then there’s when she’s getting mad at me because I’m taking ages to leave my apartment and she just looks like she’s about to implode but in a very sexy, cute and beautiful way. 

Yeah, no way was he saying any of that. 

 Hour 30

Was there anything left to do? Juni had been here for so long she could practically feel the fluorescent lights in her head. The Pit was empty, the blue stretchers all cleaned up with no patients walking in. There was officially nothing to do- empty emergency and waiting room. For the sake of checking, Juni walked into the waiting room one more time, looking around for any injured souls- alas, there were none. 

Except Mrs Lu, who stood in the middle of the hallway, waving her hand towards Juni as if she was gesturing for her to follow her. Juni looked around- it wasn't as if there were any patients here, what could go wrong? She tiptoed outside into the brutal thundering of the rain,  which plastered her hair to her face and her white coat to her scrubs. The wind was chilly and strong- whispering to her temptations and desires. The wind was always so ethereal- it could destroy but it could also be beautiful.

“Mrs Lu? Where are you taking me?” Juniper called out as she jogged blind in the dark while the wind whipped around her face. She found herself crouching behind the large industrial hospital bins. A young girl, barely into her early 20s sat there with a large bloody wound across her forehead. On viewing it, Juniper immediately hissed. The gash looked deep and Juni could already see the edges of it forming a scab. There was blood stuck to her face, some infiltrating the tip of her eyelids and the girl herself was trying to not screw her eyes in pain. 

“Oh my gods…What.. What happened?” Juni was speechless.

“A big machine in the factory.. it .. it fall on us,”  the girl explained. Juniper was relieved- she knew a bit of english, enough for Juniper to understand. 

“It’s going to be okay now, you can come inside an-”

“-No! No, no inside. Here!” The girl protested frantically, shaking her head back and forth which made Juniper think  Ouch . 

“But, I need to stitch you up and she went inside.” Juniper pointed to Mrs Lu. 

“She allowed, me not allowed! I will go jail!”

Juniper realised what she was trying to tell her. Mrs Lu was a legal immigrant but the girl was an illegal one. An overwhelming amount of sympathy and admiration surged inside of  Juniper. The amount of bravery this poor girl must have and all the stuff she must have gone through. Juniper knew that if she helped the girl and was caught- everything would be over. A small voice in her head was telling her to help- she was  doctor after all, she took the hippocratic oath which stated I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures which are required

“The injury is deep but I think I can fix it. I need to go and get some stuff first so you have to stay here okay. Stay here.”

The girl nodded, the corner of her lips turning into a grateful smile, “Thank you.”

As Juniper was about to jog back to the hospital, she remembered she did not have one piece of information that she got from every patient- illegal or not.

“One question, what’s your name? I’m Juni,” She asked. 

“Nuwa. Nuwa Lu,” the girl responded with comfort settling onto her face. 

  Nico didn’t like that he was short. He constantly had to push to the front of crowds, people were often belittling and it also meant he had to walk twice as fast to catch up with people who were like 6’4- Like Dr Zhang. He was not afraid to admit that he was short- he simply didn’t like that for some reason it was a bad thing; if anything, it meant he was an eco-friendly version of a human.

“Dr Zhang,” Nico sounded slightly out of breath, “ What’s the diagnosis?” 

“It was the tetralogy of fallot with pulmonary atresia*. I’m booking an OR,” he confirmed.

Nico stopped walking as Frank stood by the elevator. Normally, Nico preffered to simply nod at people when they expected a thank you. It was just 2 words that he would never expect to come blurting his mouth and honestly he did not expect the words  Thank you   to come out when he spoke to Dr Zhang so of course, he did not say thank you. Yes, he was grateful but  Thank you?  To Nico, that was almost as close to  I love you  on the list of forbidden words. 

“I appreciate you backing me up here-”

“-Nuh uh. Listen kid, you were right one time but what you did, going behind another doctor's back and speaking to the parents, trying to steal a patient from another service. Don’t ever pull that again, you got it?” Dr Zhang reprimanded him. He knew that Di Angelo had a lot of potential but if he was gonna think with his head in his ass all the time, there were going to be problems

Nico knew this was Dr Zhang's version of- you did good but also you did bad. In all honesty, Nico couldn’t care less. In fact, he was so smugly obsessed that he was right that he was very much beyond okay with being told off if it meant he was right, it was worth it. Especially since that smug little intern thought that they were so right in their gloriously pathetic little mind.

 Will did not like feeling like this. He had been lucky to avoid it all his life but for some god forsaken reason, depression had started to chase him. So he took a job where he would have no time for depression- if you’re working 24/7 you don't really ever get the chance to listen to your thoughts. But as he sat down at the desk by Allison trying to focus on his charting, he could feel himself slowly losing all motivation. The beeping on the heart monitor, which normally drew a large smile across Will’s face, wasn’t helpful- it was depressing. The entire room felt bland, empty and he could feel his mind and thoughts going numb. He was trying to hold his head up, trying to be strong for his patient, trying to finish the day without having a slump. His eyes flickered back up towards Allison, whose eyes had remained closed- as if she was vegetable. 

 “Okay, you’re all sewn up!” Juni finished up the last touches of the stitches of Nuwa’s forehead before rolling back the squeaky old chair that she was sitting on.

“Nuwa, you might have a scar and you have to come back in 5 days okay? I need to take out the stitches and clean the wound to make sure it doesn’t get infected. So you need to come back. We will meet here, same place at 7pm. 5 days okay?” Juniper informed, trying to not rush her words all out in a panic. She watched as Nuwa gave a small nod with a shy smile indicating she understood. As Juniper packed up, she realised she had to remind Nuwa of something else. 

“Oh but you can’t tell anybody that I helped you outside the hospital. I might lose my medical license and my job.  Do you understand?” 

“Come back in 5 days and dont tell.” Nuwa nodded eagerly towards Juni who gave her a brief hug.  

 “Dr Chase, do you think I’m too confident?” Dr Zhang anxiously asked. He didn’t think he’d ever have to ask such a question. To him, it seemed obvious- no. Frank recalled all his life, simply never having the confidence to do things and sure, he had boosted it up a slight notch by becoming a surgeon- a world renowned one none the less- but he wouldn’t call himself overconfident. 

“No,” Annabeth answered bluntly but Zhang knew her better than she thought he did.

“Don’t lie,” Frank mumbled slightly. 

“You are my boss,” Annabeth retorted. Anyone who had been nearby would have immediately snorted at such a comment- When did Annabeth Chase actually care about her bosses opinions? 

“Fine, in the next 30 seconds anything you say, I will not take to heart, starting now.” Frank raised his watch before diverting his eyes to his resident who immediately started talking. 

A bit eager, Chase?

“I think you’re cocky, arrogant, bossy and pushy. You also have a god complex,” Annabeth started which caused Frank to frown.  God Complex? Since when?

“You never think about anybody but your damn self- “

“- Hey wait a-”

“-I have another 22 seconds and I am  not done.”

Frank scratched his head while rethinking his life decisions. The most prominent thought at hand was-

  Oh shit maybe this wasn't a great idea

The interns were serving their last hour on call and it had gotten to the point where they were all desperate for their lives at work to come to an end. Jason, Juniper and Hazel were all in the locker room, freshening up and looking forward to leaving the hospital. 

“I need a drink, a man or a massage or a drunken massage by a man,” Hazel mused. A short ‘ew’ came from Juniper as she brushed through her knotty hair. Jason on the other hand, did not respond and instead was violently harassing his teeth with his toothbrush. Hazel took one short glance at Jason before an alarmed look creeped onto her face.

“What's wrong with you?” She asked, slipping on a new scrub shirt.

“I lost 5 patients today and I feel like the angel of death,” he spat his toothpaste out, as if he had a deep vendetta against it.

“Hey at least you're not the actual angel of death. I’m pretty sure there’s a serial killer with that alias,” Hazel responded thinking about her conversation with Nico. For some reason  The angel of death  reminded her of some conversation they’d had. 

“Charles Cullen- convicted of 40 murders, suspected of more- currently in prison on life sentence and is 60 years old,” Nico recited as he walked into the locker room. Juniper and Jason both stopped dead in their tracks, slightly alarmed at the information that was spilling out of Nico’s mouth like he memorized it for fun. 

The best part was he actually did memorise it for fun.

Casting her eyes away from her brother, who in no way surprised her with that information, Hazel sighed, “Jason, 95% of code patients can't be revived. Most are already dead by the time you get there.”

“What! Why didn't you tell me that when I was going on and on about how great it was gonna be!” Jason cried, embarrassed about his bragging. Hazel took a deep breath as she made her way to exit the room.

“Because, you’re Jason and I’m Hazel.”

 Hour 40

Nico was getting really sick about the penis in a box. It literally had to follow him everywhere and worst of all, people asked him what was inside it. What kind of conversation starter was ‘oh, just a bitten off penis’? So when Nico saw Dr Solace still in the room of Allison he felt slightly relieved- at least Dr Solace wouldn’t ask him what was in the box; mainly because Dr Solace was in the surgery where the penis was retrieved. 

As Nico approached Dr Solace, he noticed that he wasn't really there. His eyes seemed less alive, less sparkly and more like the dull blue hues of the hospital. It was just something about the way his hand had propped up his face as if he had no further energy to continue anything that made Nico slightly alarmed for him. 

Alarmed? You’re just worried that he may pass out because then it would mean no more surgeries.  

At least, that's what Nico told himself. Besides, he had other things to worry about- like how he was going to lead Solace on. Afterall, there was a reason he was putting up with him.

“Hey, how’s Allison?” Nico asked, standing directly behind Will. Will, depressed as ever responded in a small tone. 

“So far, nothing’s changed.”

“Have you been here all night?” Nico asked in slight astonishment and borderline concern.

“Yep. I have 3 brothers and a sister. They’re all doctors as well. If I was in a coma, they’d all be here- I’d want them here because having nobody… I can’t imagine that.” 

“I can.”

Nico hadn’t meant for the small comment to slip out of his mouth. Wills face scrunched up immediately as he turned his head to look at the intern. 

“What are you on about? What about your sister?”

For a fraction of a second, Nico was horrified at the thought that somehow Will had figured out that Hazel and Nico were siblings. But then Nico remembered that Hazel levesque was not an infamous name within the world of doctors and Bianca Di Angelo was.The first person to come to mind was Hazel, not Bianca. The guilt was overwhelming- did this mean Nico was forgetting his sister? He couldn’t do that, not when she needed him! Hazel was just a girl who happened to make sarcastic quips like him, who just happened to stand up for him, who happened to be slightly related to him. So what? Did it make them family? No! In Nico’s eyes, they weren’t even siblings. Just 2 people who had to get on with each other for the sake of others around them, Bianca was his real sister.

“That’s true, I do have my sister,” Nico said but even as the words left his lips, he knew he wasn’t talking about Bianca. 

“She’d be ordering surgeons around and flying cowboys* from Prague to do amazing medical procedures,” Will continued as he got up to throw a wrapper in the bin. When he returned, he leaned against the door frame slightly, as if he was a bad boy in one of those high school cliche films. 

“So we’re kissing but we’re not dating, huh?” One of his eyebrows raised slightly resulting in a ridiculous face that Nico believed to be hilarious- not that he’d ever let Solace know that he thought that. Nico fell back into scheming mode- if the conversation was heading where he thought it was, he needed to have his manipulative little plan out and ready.

“I’m all for the kissing. In fact, there should be more kissing,” Will hummed.

“I don’t know how or why it happened,” Nico admitted. 

“Is it gonna happen again?” Will asked before lowering his voice, “ I need to bring some breath mints. Put some condoms in my wallet.” Will winked and Nico could physically feel the blood rushing to his cheeks. He had never blushed this badly in his entire life- not even when Percy winked at him.

Abort! Abort! This was not part of the plan. Why are you blushing you incompetent good for nothing nincompoop!

“There’s this baby upstairs in peds. It’s new and not neglected. It hasn’t been disappointed by anyone or rejected. How do we get from there to here? Alisson is wearing my boots and someone has beaten the crap out of her and here she is with nobody.” Nico was practically counting down the minutes left before he could leave at this point. However, before Will could respond, a rapid beeping came from one of the machines hooked up to Allison. Will scurried forward in a panic. 

“Her ICP* has doubled. Page Jackson and get an OR ready- tell them to prep for a craniotomy*. Hang a mannitol and take a blood gas*!” Will shouted over the frantic beeping of the machine.

 Nico was pacing back and forth. He felt like he was Allison’s mother. There she was in surgery all by herself and he- someone who had never met her- was pacing back and forth like they had known each other their entire lives. His head practically shot up as he saw Will and Percy come through the doors he had been waiting in front of. Solace shot him a sympathetic smile as he walked past- Percy on the other hand had stayed in front of Nico and his expressions looked grave.

How was Percy meant to say this? This was his childhood best friend of his entire life and he was somehow meant to tell him that his patient was most likely now a vegetable. He didn’t know why it was going to be so hard- Nico was someone who knew how to take news. Sure, Nico never took it well and would often just isolate himself until someone forcefully dragged his butt out but he would never break down. Well, Percy had never thought he had. 

“I had to leave a flap of her skull open until the pressure and swelling in her brain goes down,” Percy confessed nervously, ruffling his messy hair that had been matted down under his scrub cap.

In a pained voice, Nico whispered, “She isn’t gonna make it.”

Percy hadn’t heard Nico use such a voice since his mother had passed away. Nico had been a bit different after that- as one would expect- but the tone that he had adapted when the tragedy occurred was a tone that truly inspired fear in Percy. It was the voice of calamity combined with pain. It was like destruction without the anger, it was like love without the trust, it was like a human with no soul. It was heart wrenching. 

“She’ll be fine,” Percy insisted as he pulled Nico into a hug, letting the shorter boy rest his head on his shoulder. Nico wondered if Percy was right. He liked the possibility, the chance that it was true. 

But Nico realised that she’d only be alright if she ever woke up.

Nico and never been happier to sign off the custody of something away from himself. Finally, the penis he had been carrying around owud no longer be his possession- he already had a dick, thank you very much. Just ask Solace.

Will and Percy did not really interact with each other much. It wasn't anything personal but they just both run such busy departments that hanging out was something much easier said rather than done. Despite this, they were together as they stormed into the room of 312. Percy and Will were not violent people- they were surgeons, doctors, sworn under the hippocratic oath to do no harm. But it would be an understatement of the year if one were to say that they did not look like terrifying bloodthirsty hungry beasts as they slammed the light on and snarled as they walked into the room of the rapist.

Will slammed his hand onto the side of the stretcher. Once, twice and a third time. It startled the man in bed to jump awake. Threateningly, Will slammed his hand above the man in the stretcher so he was practically leaning over him while Percy stood on the other side with both hands resting on the other handle of the bed. 

“We have good and bad news. The good news is that my unbiased girlfriend who is also an exceptional surgeon managed to stop you from bleeding to death,” Percy snarled.

“The bad news is we’ve given your penis to the cops. Have a nice life,” Will growled as both men left the room with Will slamming the door so hard, the hinges rattled.

 Nico enjoyed watching the babies. He however, did not enjoy watching the babies with Jason, Juniper and Hazel. Watching a cooing to babies was a very private matter- if word ever got out to his attendings that this happened… well Dr Zhang had already warned him. As he watched them, he realised they get the chance to start afresh. They may have no knowledge but they give people the chance to start afresh, to be something else and change opinions. 

“All right, you guys can move in,”Nico groaned, giving up. Jason and Juniper squealed, jumping up and down celebrating. 

“I can't believe I caved,” Nico admitted. 

Hazel snorted, “I blame the babies.”

 Hour 48

The world felt groggy as her eyelids fluttered. This wasn't her cheap New York hotel room, the lights wouldn't be on. She wanted to breathe but she couldn't do it alone-she could feel something obstructing her throat. It felt like something had been forced down there and immediately memories had come flooding back. The rapist, how she had been forced to her knees, the beating. She realised this must be the hospital and if she could think and her eyes were open, then she must be alive.  She watched as a doctor with curly blond hair looked at her with astonishment before grabbing the arm of another doctor- with sea green eyes and a mop of balck hair on his head. 

The elevator always took ages to arrive and always took even longer to get you to the floor you wanted. Will did not mind this. Nico on the other hand, definitely minded this. He had beds to sleep in and mythomagic cards to nerd out with.

“It's intense, this thing I have for ferry boats again,” Wills voice cut straight through Nico’s thoughts. Nico turned his head to look at the source of the voice. 

Of course it's you

 Nico knew what would happen if they climbed the empty elevator and he was tired. Part of his plan was revived around Will Solace pinning after him and this was the perfect chance to start it. 

“I’m soo taking the stairs this time,” Nico decided. 

“You have no self control!” Will called out knowing Nico’s reason for not boarding the elevator, “ It’s sad really!” 

 Hour 49

“Hey Reyna, pass the coat next to you,” Percy asked as he grabbed his bag off the floor and kissed Annabeth on her head. Reyna tossed the coat towards Percy before grabbing her backpack and zipping up her jacket. The attendings and residents filtered out slowly, one by one leaving Leo in there by himself. Leo didn’t mind being alone. In fact, he enjoyed it. There was something about being able to hum songs while you worked with no distractions that simply appealed to him. He was currently humming a song his Tia Callida had taught him when he was little. 

“Are you humming?” A voice came from behind him. Normally, Leo would have ignored the voice or made a snarky remark but he recognised this voice. 

“What! Uh, no?” He shrugged sheepishly as he turned around to look at Calypso who had her eyes half closed as if she was enjoying the tune. 

“Oh don’t try lying to me  Leonidas . I liked it anyway,” she admitted as she leaned forward to access the coffee machine. Calypso was the only person who knew Leo’s full name and the only person he’d ever let get away with calling him that. Leo could feel a rush of butterflies from Calypso's compliment. While it seemed minor, Leo rarely got compliments- so he appreciated them but he also did not know how to properly take one without blubbering. 

“What are you still doing here?” Leo asked.

“Hoping to get rid of me I see?” 

“No! No, it’s just we came in at the same time and your shift is over so you’re probably tired so you should probably go home and relax,” Leo rambled. 

“You also came in at the same time you know. You shouldn't be here as well.”

That shut Leo up. He sat himself on the sofa, not wanting to move. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tired and sleep sounded so nice right now but he did not want to go home. Every time he went back to his apartment, the nightmares would come rushing back and he would wake up covered in sweat. It was like he was cursed.

“Are you okay?” Calypso’s voice sounded concerned.

“I should be asking you that mi amor.” Leo winked before mentally slapping himself.  Why on earth did he call her that? Everyone knows that mi amor means my love- it's practically common knowledge!

“You aren’t going to sweet talk your way out of my question Leonidas.” Calypso’s eyes narrowed slightly as she sat on the sofa next to Leo. He sat with one leg slightly bent on the sofa and the other dangling off it whereas Calypso had both her legs crossed as if she was back in nursery. 

“I’m tired Callie. Aren’t you?”

“We’re surgeons. It’s what we signed up for. And I’ve seen you tired before Valdez, you aren’t like this.”

“Like this?”

“So… distant. You’ve barely gone on any rants or tangents since forever. You only order black coffee or an almost suicidal amount of espresso now. Everytime you smile, you only do it because someone just approaches you, otherwise your face is unreadable or miserable!” Calypso cried, throwing one of her arms up. 

“Just because I’m less talkative Callie doesn’t mean there’s something wrong. I need to coffee to stay awake,” Leo defended himself calmly, holding both of Calypso’s hands to help keep her from exploding. 

“What is keeping you up that you need so much caffeine? Is it work, family… a partner?” Calypso’ face physically scrunched up at the idea of Leo losing sleep over doing the deed with another person.

“I...I’m just not getting as much sleep as I should be getting. You know how tough work can be on residents especially because I’m looking for a peds fellowship,” Leo lied through his teeth. He could feel the empty pit of anxiety inside of him calm slightly as he saw the stressed out facial features of Calypso relax. While he felt guilty for lying, he felt better that it wasn’t stressing her out so much. It was only then that he noticed how close their bodies were. They weren’t extremely close but they weren't exactly far away either. 

“I've got to tell you about this couple I had today. So the mother is all excited because she wants a boy and the dad is really really excited because he wanted a girl and they’re both arguing back and forth about which one the baby will be. So I do the ultrasound and guess what!”

“What?” Leo asked, practically smitten with her features. The way her eyes widened with glee as she talked about her patients, or how her smile was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Her cheeks had these dimples that would appear every time she spoke but when she smiled, the ones under her eyes would show up and it was always endgame for him then. Her eyes were like pools of honey- sweet, delicate and magical. There was just something about the way her curly hair would always be in a tropical hairstyle as if she was on a beach that made him want to kiss her. 

“They had twins! Yeah, so it was a case of twin to twin transfusion syndrome* and one was a boy and the other a girl. So in the end they both got what they wanted and I got myself a very  very interesting case!” 

Leo chuckled as he watched her rant. As they fell into conversation about their patients, they got closer and closer until they both had their arms leaning on the sofa and were gazing at each other's faces. Calypso’s eyes drifted downwards towards Leo’s rolled up sleeves- as they always did. As her eyes traveled upwards, she spotted something by Leo’s collarbone- like a flick of ink. She didn’t know if she read it right but it looked like it said Bad Boy Supreme with a small fire around it. 

“Is that.. Is that a tattoo?” Calypso asked, her hand reaching forward to pull at his shirt slightly to gain a better view. Caught slightly off guard, Leo froze before remembering that he did in fact have a tattoo. He unbuttoned the first 3 buttons to give her a better view. 

“Leonidas… did you actually… oh my gods.” Her hand had accidentally pressed on Leo’s chest which was surprisingly muscle. Leo looked scrawny, wasn’t the tallest (still taller than Nico) and didn’t hang out with any other people beside his colleagues so Calypso was not expecting a firm plate of muscle to be directly underneath her palm.

“Yep. You said I should get  Bad Boy Supreme  tattooed, so I did,” he said rather shakily. Could you blame him though?  You  try talking normally while the girl you’re in love with touches your chest and has her face up so close against it you could feel her breath. 

“I did not think you had it in you,” she confessed, her face still close to his chest with her finger now tracing the art. 

“ Mamacita , I’m offended,” he huffed jokingly. She raised her head slightly to raise an eyebrow only to be slightly alarmed at how close they were. If she moved one millimeter upwards, their lips would touch. Her hand was warm on his chest and she could feel his heart beating slightly faster as she traced the words of his tattoo. Her other hand was in his hair- the luxurious chocolate curls which obstructed his face bothered her- she wanted to see his eyes. She pushed them back ever so slightly. She was so close to his face, she could see the different shades of brown that pooled in his eyes- in a sort of chaotic manner that made his eyes look majestic. She couldn't help but stare into them and draw herself close to him- his eyes were honey and she was a bee. She dared to move her head slightly higher so that their eyes locked. They knew what each other were thinking. They could feel each other's thoughts.

 Leo kept his gaze on Calypso’s eyes which had darted down to his lips. She watched as he swallowed and his lips parted softly. She raised her head and moved slightly forward and they could each other breath dancing on their lips. Their lips brushed, like a painter's first stroke on a canvas. They were slow, not desperate- it was like they had all the time in the world. Their lips were barely touching like butterfly wings. Leo could feel her warmth and inhale the coffee on her breath. Just as they were about to truly kiss,  Leo’s pager started beeping making them both scramble backwards away from each other.

Without another word, Leo got up and left the room.

All the things that have a little * by it will have definitions down here! Code team: The team on call who are required to respond to a code blue which is when someone's heart has stopped GCS: Stands for the Glasgow Coma Scale. It measures a person's level of consciousness after a brain injury- it measures the function of the eyes, body and speech. BP: Is an abbreviation for the 'blood pressure'. Ventilator: Is a machine that essentially provides air for your body when you cannot do it yourself- often patients who suffer extreme injuries will be put on a ventilator. BA: Stands for bachelor of Arts which is an undergraduate degree- please keep in mind that it's not a literal degree in art, it's just called that. PHD: Stands for Doctor of Philosophy. Once again, this isn't a literal doctorate degree in Philosophy. MD: Stands for Doctor of Medicine- now this is a degree that is literally in medicine. Asystole Pulse: In the most basic way I could put it, flatlining. That means that the heart has completely stopped. Benign tumour: If a tumour is benign, it is harmless or not posing any threat to the body. Benign systolic ejection murmurs: Is normally a harmless condition where the heart makes a murmur because something is obstructing the valves in the heart. Tetralogy spell: When there is a quick drop in oxygen in the body and it makes the skin appear blue. EKG: Stands for electrocardiogram which is when those wires are stuck to your chest so that they can measure your heart's electrical signals. An EKG can also be called an ECG. Echo: An 'echo' is an abbreviation of echocardiogram- not to be confused with electrocardiogram. An echocardiogram is basically an ultrasound of the heart. Fallot of tetralogy with pulmonary atresia: This is a very complicated condition but essentially, it's the result of the 5 defects that this condition causes in the heart. Cowboy doctor: Is a doctor who is so definite in their diagnosis, they refuse to consider any other options. ICP: Stands for intracranial pressure which is just the pressure in your brain. Craniotomy: Not to get confused with a craniectomy, a craniotomy is when a piece of skull is removed temporarily to expose the brain. Mannitol: Mannitol is a sugar alcohol that can be used to decrease the intracranial pressure. TTS: Also known as Twin to Twin transfusion syndrome is a rare condition where twins in the womb share the same placenta- the result of this is one child getting more oxygen and nutrients than the other.