#but i just know my friends would call me a weeaboo

[thefayiswild]

I need some Kpop friends I’ve been dragged back into my EXO obsession (pun intended) and I’m just exploding not being able to talk about it with anyone in my life and I need someone to take away my credit card because I’m this close 👌🏻 to buying a light stick and I don’t need one but I also want their shirts and merch and a photo card holder I am begging the universe (haha) that I can see them in concert when they tour again I don’t care if I’m in the back row I just want to be there I’ve missed being this happy listening to their music it makes me want to learn all of the dances again but for nowI’ll just be here watching their concerts on YouTube and staring at my full cart of exo merch lol

[felonytaxevasion]

Ok you know what I'm gonna complain about Ward for like three (that was hubris it ended up being like ten) not proofread paragraphs then I'm gonna get back to the clown mines (the clown Mimes??? One could say)

But spoilers and general ward rudeness below.

Disclaimer that I have three more arcs and also I got my degree in drawing pretty pictures Im not the most media literate person out there I probably missed something

See what's driving me absolutely bonkers about Ward is that. It is called Ward. And it is about a traumatized former child soldier taking partial custody of current child soldiers. And also the former protagonists are mostly relevant because they also have guardianship of child soldiers who are friends with the other child soldiers. And the book is ostensibly NOT about parenthood and guardianship.

All of the best parts of Ward are about Breakthrough watching out for Kenzie (and Chris before they decided they don't care anymore) and the Undersiders with the heartbroken + Aiden. The fact even 17 chapters in Victoria and Lisa still don't really like each other but are working together because at the end of the day they would both drop everything to help the kids is such good characterization.

And it also works!! with the whole Amy Dallon Problem!!! Because the canon establishes that Amy became a Problem because of her dysfunctional family unit led by Carol. And then Victoria is put in charge of sort of dysfunctional family unit, doesn't notice how bad Chris is getting and he goes villain. Same character arc as Amy but it doesn't lead Victoria to change any values she has about her family. She doesn't blame herself for Chris and become more sympathetic to Amy in the process. But also she doesn't become more sympathetic to Carol now that Chris has affirmed her world view that "some people are bad and you can't do anything about it."

By the by Amy is also given Wards of her own in Riley, Dot, and Hunter but none of them get to interact with the Tenders and or even get to be parallels to them. Amy doesn't get to care for her "kids" in the way Vic Lisa and Aisha do. Her kids are irrelevant, not human, and just a victim of her respectively. Oh and she also has Chris but now he's spontaneously a full adult so nevermind all that. And I want Amy to be a villain I don't care if she's a bad guardian or still demonized but I wish they could do it in an interesting way that contrasts our protagonists. Cause instead she's a villain because she's so incompetent at being a hero she ends up being a villain on accident. Which is BORING! IM BORED!

And all the Amy villain blandness is supposed to somehow tie back to the central theme of self identity but none of breakthroughs identity crisises are written in a way that, at least to me personally, emotionally hit. Except Sveta. Hang on actually I'm going through the list.

Victoria's identity is supposedly fragmented between Glory Girl, The Wretch, Antares, """The Warrior Monk""", and The Scholar. But in practical terms these identities have very little tangible difference. Glory Girl hits like a brute without remorse, Antares hits like a brute and considers if she should feel remorse and then doesn't unless it's her mom, the wretch is externalized into being her shard which is fully a different character, and the Warrior Monk and Scholar are just ideologies she wants to follow but never feels frustration at not being able to adhere to. She never hits and is like "oh time to have a crisis because I was trying to be more of a pacifist" she tends to usually say to herself "oh the warrior monk would be fine with that" which is good writing IF you're making a delusional weeaboo character who we're meant to see as insane but I think we're supposed to like Vic so!! What are we doing here!!!

Ashley makes Her defining identity choice, the thing that separates her from Damsel, Off Screen and it isn't even shown as a flashback in her interlude. The part where she turns herself in for attacking Beast of Burden is a good continuation of that arc but the turning point was her choice to receive amnesty and try to be someone different. Which again. Off screen before the story started!

Just like Rain!!! Who once again gets a moment I genuinely think is good where he fully rejects the Fallen by not marrying Erin but again!! That's just a follow through of his self identity turning point that happened before the story started!!!

Which is also Tristan and Byron!!!!!! First of all I think that in a book about self identity and bleed through and knowing where you start and the people around you stop, it's insane that Tristan and Byrons crisis starts not because they realize they're losing themselves in the others personality but because they have opposite sexualities. Personally if I was gonna make gay panic the whole thing with them I would have the inciting incident be one of them starting to feel bisexual attraction as a result of being in their brothers head so often and getting upset about losing a facet of their identity they felt was critical. But whatever!! Even with the existing crisis it happens!!! Before the story!!! Tristan decides to kill Byron and then that he wants his brother back! Before! The! Main! Story! Happens!

The only characters who have a definitive turning point are Sveta and Chris. Chris is almost immediately written out of the story after his turning point. And Sveta actually is really good and I have no notes I think it was really well executed. I love you Sveta.

I'm not even sure where to put Kenzie since her struggles seem to mostly be about changing habits and behaviors rather than identity. She seems like she can easily envision a Kenzie that's better but still Kenzie. And she is super attached to her tech but I haven't read any scenes where it feels like she doesn't feel like herself without her tech. She just feels unwanted which is good writing! I like how Kenzie is written I think it just doesn't tie in to the central theme.

Anyway rant over I maybe will delete this later but this book is driving me bonkers crazy

[twodeluxe]

🦐 for the ask game!!!

the emotions really DO be shrimpin'....

so beatmania iidx has me by the throat rn and i'm absolutely in love with all the roots26 characters. they're very interconnected, and all sorts of little mundane details about each one make them feel like people i could know. i've got two favorites but the one who's currently eating most of my fucking brain real estate is

duel

real name "leonard baxter," which is a very silly name in my honest onion. i am never going to call him that ever in my life. the aliases are basically just IIDX usernames anyway so that's cute in a way i guess.

he's a british weeaboo. completely seriously. i'm going mostly off the arcadia version of his profile here - he was a sweet kid who liked soccer, but got screwed over after his parents' store went bankrupt, started fucking around as a broker in the black market because poverty. got stabbed, got inspired to move to japan from a movie he saw while he was in the hospital, and now he writes books about culture and uses his black market sales skills to export weeb shit.

oh, and as per heroic verse and rage, apparently he's also some kind of dog-mecha-suit-wearing demon-assassination-strike-team-member who's on the leash of one of the more morally dubious recurring characters.

"isn't this a game about being a dj," someone asked me recently. (it is.)

siren calls him shady basically to his face. iirc one of the girls says he talks strange (he does - from what i can see he tends to quote stuff and has other...quirks.) he dresses like a mall ninja military fetishist. (he's never been in the military - though another fucking iidx dj has. nix my beloved.) i threw some actual official art of him on a customized eamusement card decal and my friend said i shouldn't use it because it has actual gang imagery in it. (i only mention this because i think it's hilarious in retrospect.)

i hate this man. i want to put him in the dryer spin cycle. his fashion choices make me want to eat my own iidx controller. he's the exact kind of person i'd kill to be friends with because he'd invite me to go to japanese history museums. his tits are out in the newest art of him that i've found. if he wanted to put a dog collar on me i probably would not tell him no.

shrimp emotions indeed

[binch-i-might-be]

I was listening to music on shuffle earlier and a nightcore song played, and I was just instantly transported back to the year of our lord 2012

that got me thinking–because damn, it's kinda weird that I was OBSESSED with this one youtube channel for like two years but it was german and obviously ten years ago so. idk it didn't feel like it but I guess it WAS niche even back then. but now it's like. not to be dramatic but it did shape me as a person a little and no one even knows it!!!!!

okay so listen there was this one channel called "applewar pictures" (if you recognise that you deserve a veterans discount fr) and like 10 people worked on it. it was a big friend group who liked making videos together and most of them also had individual channels. that's the deep lore we're not getting into that

one of the main guys was this 30 year old dude who went by "chan" and was obsessed with mangas which back then was still very novel to the german youth. trust me I was there

okay but the important part was. that guy had a BUNCH of guinea pigs. he had a whole room dedicated to them and he made ANOTHER youtube channel where he would post little sketches he did with the guinea pigs. they were all named after food items and he gave them all distinct characters and voices. to a kid that was the FUNNIEST shit ever. are you with me so far

now, the plot thickens. that channel attracted a fan artist who drew the guinea pigs as humans, and she started working together with the applewar crew and. sit down you're not gonna believe this. PRODUCED A GERMAN MANGA ABOUT THE HUMAN GUINEA PIGS. YES I OWN THAT IT'S IN A BOX IN MY ROOM

looking back on it it seems like a fever dream but I loved that whole network of weirdos so much???? I drew fanart of the human guinea pigs. honestly it's a miracle I didn't turn out to be a furry because THIS IS WHAT THE HUMAN GUINEA PIG DESIGNS LOOKED LIKE

her name is banana split and she is an icon don't @ me

anyway. um. well I did turn out gay tho so. (btw the artist very much also produced some nsfw content. featuring the human guinea pigs. how am I not a furry when the universe so desperately tried to turn me into one)

I just had to ramble about this for a bit. I kinda miss "early" youtube and being a child and getting invested in some weeaboo and his very lovingly cared for guinea pigs. there was a whole bustling fandom around it too!!! man. the artist also produced original works I read as a kid and she had a lot of really cool ideas and concepts I was slightly obsessed with. I wonder how everyone's doing today. not gonna check tho, some things need to stay in the past. anyway

[illuminesce]

I am Kimura

When I was a teenager, I was one of those anime fans. Kids nowadays would call it cringe.

I was obsessed with Japan. I watched Japanese anime, played Japanese video games and fancied myself cultured enough to use a Japanese name as my online handle. "In Japanese, it means, Green Eyes, Soul," I remember knowingly telling a friend, who also did not speak Japanese so she acted like I was not, in fact, full of shit.

"Cool," she says.

I look back on those days with embarrassment. I was a lonely kid who lived in a boring suburb trying to make my boring life something worth bragging about. I'm generally against white people using Japanese names, especially if they don't have any connection to the country besides liking anime. Words have meaning and words in a foreign language are especially delicious to affluent white folks, at least ten percent of whom are practicing yoga right now.

"We're going to do a meditation now called 'So Hum,' the yoga instructor kindly explains to me. "It's not English, but don't worry about the meaning—we'll just be using it to center our breath." I immediately start to worry. What if I'm saying "you motherfucker" while saluting to the sun god? I'm not superstitious, but I don't touch Ouija boards. Even if I don't believe in spirits, that doesn't mean they don't exist. People say they don't believe in climate change and it it hasn't prevented the ocean from getting hotter. I spend the rest of class on my phone looking up what so'ham means. Turns out it's a Hindu mantra and thankfully its meaning neither involved mothers nor fucking.

When I was thirty, I moved to Japan for work. Gone was the wide-eyed weeaboo and in its place a person who saw the ugliness of the country I once loved. Of all the developed nations, Japan is ranked 116th behind in both gender equality and LGBTQ+ rights—and it is notorious for its xenophobia, both casual and systemic. Immigration regularly detains non-Japanese people and denies them access to medical care.

My partner Matt and I have hard-to-pronounce last names. It was bad enough in the United States when our names had a twenty percent chance of being properly spelled—but the confusion mixed with the exceptional "can do" attitude of Japanese service folks is a disaster. They would try, unfailingly, to sound out our names as we gave them. Imagine a young woman, ear pressed to the phone while listening to me. My name is in a foreign tongue she has never heard before, but by god she will get it right! She stumbles over it and I respell. After the fifth time I cut her off—for their sanity and mine and leave my name butchered. 

"Yes," I say brightly. "Good job. That's me. I am Mr. Hot Potato." We both sigh a collective sigh of relief and get on with our day.

My partner, Matt, has a last name that is different than mine for the reason that neither of us wanted to go through the trouble of telling our friends—who had only just mastered the spelling of our last names—that they would have to learn new ones. He has a different problem. His last name, although hard to pronounce, is also close to a very common Japanese name—Kimura. Think of it like the English "Mr. Brown." Easy to say, easy to remember.

No matter how much he has tried to use his given name, at the end of the day, he is Mr. Kimura.

"I don't know what to do about this Mr. Kimura thing," I say to him one night at dinner. "We got a package today for a Mr. Kimura. Don't you think it's weird that you're going by a Japanese name?" Matt looks at me with puzzlement. "I don't really see the harm. It's easier for everyone."

"You don't look like a Kimura," I say, implicitly adding, you're not Japanese. He squints at me. "What are you, the world's leading expert on Kimuras?"

I squint back. I think back to my Green Eyes, Soul days, when I was appropriating names to make me sound fancy. "Well, I'm not Mr. Kimura." Matt shrugs. "Okay, you're not Mr. Kimura."

In the following weeks, Matt uses the name Kimura. I hear him making appointments left and right, with ease. No longer does he have to spell his name five times over—he's hanging up the phone within a minute of calling. For me, it takes at least five to muddle through the name part. I become jealous at how easily he moves through Japanese society with his shiny new name and his devil-may-care attitude. So'ham, you motherfucker, I think. If only I could have it that easy. On the weekend, I call a popular bar. It's crowded and I can barely hear the staff over the din. "I'd like to make a reservation."

"What?"

I raise my voice louder. "I'D LIKE TO MAKE A RESERVATION FOR 2 AT 6PM." This already bodes well."

Ok. Name?"

I spell out my name for him. He waits. I hear the din of the crowd for an uncomfortably long time.

"Did you uh, get i—"

He cuts me off. "I didn't get that at all. Can you repeat?" I do so, again, and the same thing happens. "Can you repeat?" When I'm on the third time, I find myself shaking my head, which he's probably also doing. It's not that I'm attached to my last name; I like it well enough, but not enough to fight through multiple spellings. And even if I told him the American name "Smith," it's still not a sure thing that he would spell it right. If having your own name misspelled is embarrassing, it's even more humiliating to have a pseudonym you picked because your name is un-spellable still be spelled wrong.

I sigh. I know why I'm so afraid of becoming Mr. Kimura. I'm afraid of becoming one of those people; people who are cringey or who don't understand cultural context or appropriate other cultures in a way that is embarrassing at best and harmful at worst. I'm worried I'll become the people in my boring suburb, who still use the phrase, "indian giver" unironically, the people that I so desperately wished to distance myself from when I was a teen. Even now, in my thirties, they haunt me. 

Goddamnit, I'm tired.

"You know what?" I say. "I'm Kimura."

A beat.

I lean closer to the phone. "Do you need me to spell it?"

"Oh no, I'm good," he says. We both breathe out a collective sigh of relief. 

"Got you for 2 at 6PM. See you soon, Mr. Himura."

(x-posted from cohost.)

[askadvancewars]

2014

okay so some time back I was asked to explain what’s going on with this chart 

I tried my best at the time but I don’t think I did a very good job so let me do it again

These are the COs for Blue Moon, Green Earth and Yellow Comet introduced in AW1

In AW:DS they get a tag with each other

These are the COs introduced in AW2

In AW:DS, they don’t have a tag with the previous two COs but they do get a 105% bonus, since they spend the previous game/story fighting together

These are the COs introduced in AW:DS

In AW:DS, the COs introduced in AW2 get a tag with these guys instead

So in AW1, Olaf and Grit are Blue Moon COs who work together, and so are Eagle and Drake. Kanbei and Sonja are father and daughter. They all get tags together in AW:DS.

In AW2, new COs are introduced to each group: Colin is a new Blue Moon CO sent to their HQ; Sensei is Kanbei’s teacher who came out of retirement; Jess comes back from training abroad. The new COs get a 105% compatibility bonus with the two previous COs since they all spent time fighting together through the Macro Land war (that’s my take anyway).

The AW2 COs get reintroduced in AW:DS with a new CO, who they share a tag. Sasha is Colin’s older sister, Grimm is another of Sensei’s students, and Javier is Jess' lover friend(*), another Green Earth CO and Allied Nations comrade who fights to free Omega Land from the Black Hole threat also Javier wants to bang Jess like a drum (probably). 

*that’s the most in-canon, in-text relationship I can give for Jess and Javier. Jess calls Javier a “stalwart friend” in the yield/lose dialogue in Omens and Signs. Aside from the fact that they’re both Green Earth COs who fight for justice and freedom and that Javier is into Jess but then again who isn’t? I know I am (Advisor's Note: True!). I’ll get back to this in part 3 of my award-winning series, “I think about Advance Wars too much”.

Because of their time of introduction and relationships, the AW2/Macro Land COs have a bonus with the other 3 COs of their country.

That’s pretty much what I wanted to point out, haha.

Orange Star and Black Hole don’t share the same pattern because they have more COs and didn’t add them one per game.

And then there’s Javier.

Despite being a new Green Earth CO in AW:DS, he shares the same pattern of having one tag with CO and then having a 105% compatibility toward the other COs of one country. Y'know, just that one country is Yellow Comet.

I found that really cute, if a little bewildering. Kanbei and Javier never meet in Campaign Mode but they’re very much alike since they’re both old-timey swordsmen who are enamored with their own feudal ways. One of their French victory convos even say they are “Bushido and Chivalry combined”. 

Sensei and Grimm are bit more confusing since they don’t really talk during campaign. I mean, thinking of gaming reasons aside (Javier’s defensive style would be good with Grimm’s attacks? Maybe???)–I guess their personalities would match well. Maybe Sensei likes Javier because he’s like Kanbei, and then he and Grimm bond over being both Omega Land COs. And there’s dialogue against Clone Kanbei where, depending which version you play, Jess will compare Javier to either Kanbei (Japanese, French, German, Spanish) or Grimm (English, Italian).

Or maybe Javier just loves the Yellow Comet.

Bittmann and Kikuchiyo’s tag name is “Soul of a Samurai”. Like, every other tag is some reference to them being swordsmen or men of honor. But the Japanese (and Italian) refers to them having a samurai’s soul.

Then again, samurai could just mean they’re both want to emulate past military nobility. But samurai gives out a very Japanese image and Javier’s clearly supposed to be the European image of a knight.

So…Soul of a Samurai = Javier sharing Kanbei’s ‘soul’ as a samurai???

that fucking weeaboo

“jess why are all your friends so weird”

but all his tag bonuses are with the best people so it works out

[tired-gay-wreck9]

beforus sexy sex sex

this is a serious essay i promise

aka i do a lot of meenah cronus and meulin slander also rufioh he sucks dickballs

You may think that Beforan society in Homestuck was free from the effects of the Hemospectrum, and everyone lives together in a post-casteism utopia. Actually, no you don't. No one thinks that. I just needed an opener.

Everyone knows that there are still some bloodracist Beforan trolls running around. For example, Cronus wouldn't need to specify that 'dating down on the spectrum' was a positive and good thing that separated him from the trolls who only dated in their caste if said trolls didn't exist. And even though Kankri's rants are annoyingly long and pointless, they do have some merit. His mention of the highbloods using their long lifespans to gain control over the lower castes sounds like an actually plausible and important thing.

Their whole culling this is also shitty.

But you didn't click on the 'read more' for me to regurgitate the same bullshit you've heard a million times before. You clicked on it for the Beforus sexy sex sex. Or, as I like to call it, fetishization and objectification of the lower castes. Now if that's something that makes you uncomfortable, here's your go-ahead to stop reading this and do something else.

One example I'd like to call is Damara Megido. Specifically her relationship with Rufioh Nitram. He was a member of the lost weeaboos, a group, which, in our world, is heavily associated with fetishizing East Asian culture. Then we have Damara, a troll who's heavily implied to be East Asian. They date, and he cheats on her with someone higher on the spectrum, which solidifies that he never really cared about her actual feelings. Now, what did he care about? You can figure that out for yourselves.

"But Max", you may say, "that has nothing to do with the hemospectrum! That was just because Damara was associated with an oppressed minority in the real world, not because she was associated with an oppressed minority in Homestuck!"

And while that may be true, as we see no one higher than Damara on the spectrum being treated like this, we do see someone lower on the spectrum being treated like this. And no, I'm not talking about Kankri. Why would it be Kankri.

Karkat is also treated very strangely by the adults in Openbound. I'm going to be talking about pedophilia and grooming so yeah, if that's something that makes you uncomfortable, here's your warning. Adios.

The first is Cronus. Karkat is the only member of the kid's session who Cronus mentions hitting on or attempting to hit on. And we know from Meenah's remark about Vriska being a more 'acceptable age' when she learned she was older that pedophilia is a very real and bad thing that is looked down upon on Beforus. And Karkat was the only troll who motivated Cronus to do that.

The next is Meulin, who agrees to write porn of Karkat and Meenah, without Karkat's knowledge or consent. It's Karkat, out of all the kidtrolls who she thinks of doing this to. She doesn't think about his feelings. She only thinks about how to get the highblood off. Then she says that she'll get Meenah and Karkat's consent before sharing it with others like it's some great, heroic deed.

Sidenote! A lot of the Beforan trolls try to make themselves seem more moral, forgiving, and kind around Meenah. It makes me wonder if Meulin said that she'd get Meenah and Karkat's consent before spreading the fic around out of general respect for every troll's boundaries, or just the highblood's.

Then we have the big fish. The dilemma. The Godfather. Meenah. Her creepiness is a whole basket case. No, fuck it. It's a shopping cart case. A truckcase. An airplane case. You get my point. But because of her creepiness towards both Vriska and Karkat, we can discern which parts are general creepiness and which parts are bloodracist creepiness.

Meenah's crush on Karkat coincided with the point in his life where all his friends didn't care about him nearly as much as they did pre-Murderstuck, to the point where in the post retcon timeline he tells Dave that he's his only friend (not Kanaya, Terezi, Vriska, Aradia or Sollux), or are dead. She wanted him where he was in a point in his life where he was completely alone and vulnerable. She then tried to befriend him, not because she felt bad for him and thought that he needed a friend, but for her own romantic benefit.

Meenah also did this with pre-retcon ghost Vriska, when she had tossed aside Terezi, the only person in her life who still gave a shit about her, and had driven away all her other friends with murder and violence.

But Meenah, despite how gross she was to Vriska, made an effort for romance. She braided her hair, listened to her problems, and their first kiss was full of smiles.

She did not do that to Karkat. She describes herself as having a 'manic obsession' with him, asks Meulin to write something of them 'doin it' and says that she doesn't want her to set her and Karkat up. She never wanted anything romantic with him. She just wanted him for her own concupiscent pleasure. WHILE HE WAS FOURTEEN. SHE WAS NINETEEN. FIVE-YEAR AGE GAP.

You may say, "What about Kankri? No one acts like this to him except Cronus, and not even in a weird blood way." To which I say, Kankri. Kankri, the guy who if you've read my last post you know that he acts mean and awful for protection. The guy who used to wear tight revealing clothes and now is rarely seen outside a baggy sweater. The guy who hates being touched.

To sum it up, the alpha trolls suck dickballs and hussie, for some reason, made a fourth of them pedophiles. In Beforus, those lowest on the hemospectrum are sexualized by the masses as well as infantilized by the culling system, all wrapped up in a nice package of dehumanization.

or in other words; all these kids need therapy

[unambiguouslybi]

hi ! i’ve realized that i’m bigender for a couple months now but i’m wondering if i should change my name? like i love going by different names but i’m not sure if it’s just because i use a lot of fake names on the internet for privacy ?

if there’s any mods who’ve change their name,, how did you know that you wanted to?

hello~ actually really excited to answer this one!

so for me i went and had my name legally changed from my deadname to Kyler. its pretty funny how i wound up here. as a kid on the internet i would always use fake names that matched my gender identity at that time, i would be suzy i would be lisa i would be jay. sometimes the alias came from my deadname other times it was a random generic name. in my teens i got into anime and became a weeaboo. not the casual term we use now where your really into anime and japanese culture (i call that an otaku) but i mean the old derogatory term for someone who pretends to be japanese because of their interest in anime. basically i was appropriating culture and went by 'yumi' for the longest, i mean an embarrassing amount of time, years. my family knew about it, all my friends would refer to me as yumi instead of my deadname. really really cringey looking back, even though it was a vital part of my growth as a person. but somewhere in that weeaboo phase it started feeling weird for people to refer to me by my deadname. i explored my gender more realized i was bigender, wanted a name that didn't feel as girly as yumi since i'm more masculine leaning. while exploring names i remember an old fanfic i wrote featuring an oc of mine named Kyler, my first non-binary oc, he used he/they pronouns just like i did. so i dropped yumi and became kyler. the more i used kyler in my day to day life, the more i affirmed my own gender, the more foreign and eventually, offensive, my deadname became. but kyler? kyler felt like home, it felt comforting and warm. having people know my deadname became frustrating and then i found out that a name change, in my city, isn't too expensive. now i feel... like myself. i feel very me. i no longer feel like some obscure anime based mary sue or like a young kind forced into femininity i feel complete, like i found a part of myself that had been locked away.

obviously it wont be that dramatic for everyone but that's my experience. to put in simply (and shorter) changing my name felt 'right' and it felt comfortable.

if any of the other mods have changed their name id love to see your addition! or if you haven't maybe share you reason why not.

-mod ky

[brandybradyrandyandyndy]

Mark Forster's role in the Ace Attorney franchise

Okay, first off:

I'm not a fan of Mark Forster's music, please don't take this post the wrong way

There might be some aa trilogy spoilers

Also, I admit this title is pretty bold for what I'm going to say on this topic, but I watch The Voice of Germany with my sister every week and one of the coaches is Mark Forster who I only know like five songs of in total, but his song "Au Revoir" (which is actually a terrible song btw. It's so catchy, I've had it stuck in my head since I woke up this morning and it ruined my day.) kind of reminded me of the whole "Prosecutor Miles Edgeworth chooses death." thing, because the only thing I knew about this song was the refrain:

which would be roughly translated to:

"There is nothing that's holding me back, au revoir / Forget who I was / Forget my name / It will never be the way it was before / I'm off / Au revoir"

But as I looked further into the lyrics I found out there is a "rap part" which tells you about the places the lyrical I will go to when they're away and it contains a passage that adds a beautiful twist to my theory/headcanon (I'm not sure what to call this yet).

"I'm sitting on the Mayan throne in the jungle / [...] / The phoenix is taking off now"

You see where I'm going with this? I know, it's not Phoenix who's leaving and I know the lyrics refer to the Maya Civilization from Mesoamerica, but I thought it was a funny coincidence, that not only does the word "Phoenix" appear in the lyrics of this song, but so does "Maya".

So when I first saw this part of "Au Revoir", I started imagining how Miles Edgeworth would listen to this song and like dramatically sing along to it and start crying or something, but this only posed another question:

How could this scenario happen? How and why would he even come in contact with this song?

My first guess was, Miles probably went to Germany after he left his note, because he grew up there (I think), when he had been adopted by Manfred von Karma as a child, and he heard the song somewhere in the radio because in Germany they blast Mark Forster's music in almost every public space, so there is no escape from it ever. I tried to find out, during which timespan Miles left America, just to make sure if there was a chance that he actually could have heard it on the radio.

In the Ace Attorney wiki this timespan isn't clearly mentioned, but since the last case (Rise from the Ashes) from the first game is set in February 2017 and Edgeworth returns to America in March 2018 I'm guessing, this is exactly the time window in which he's in Germany* (minus some days/weeks of course, because I don't think he'd just leave on the exact same day he had his last trial in America). *to make this easier for me I'm just assuming he spends the entirety of his travels in Germany

But this brings me to my problem, the German Charts of 2017/2018.

As you can see, the only songs by Mark Forster that were in the charts while Miles would be in Germany are the ones above. This means that it is highly unlikely that he knew of "Au Revoir" from the radio, because why would they play this old song if they could also play Mark Forster's more recent songs that are popular right now?

But when exactly was "Au Revoir" popular enough to be in the German Charts?

During my research I looked up these years, too, and it came down to 2014 (the year "Au Revoir" was released) and even a year later in 2015. So there is no way he could have known of this song if his most recent stay in Germany was in 2017, right? (I mean, unless the German people he met then, had literally no taste and forced him to listen to it.)

But I have a pretty simple and logical explanation on how he could have still known of this song, even though he probably wouldn't have heard it in Germany in 2017.

I tried really hard, but I couldn't for my life find real data on Mark Forster's demographic, so just believe me if I tell you that his demographic is mostly preteen and teenage girls. Also, it's worth mentioning that Mark Forster's music is pretty much only known in German speaking countries like Germany, Switzerland and Austria. Now, let's take a closer look at the years, in which Au Revoir was most popular: 2014 and 2015

Who could Miles Edgeworth possibly know, who in 2014/2015 is 1. German, 2. a teenager and 3. a girl? The answer is quite obvious:

His younger sister Franziska von Karma.

Considering that she was either 14 or 15 when "Au Revoir" was released, she fits Mark Forster's demographic perfectly and although I'm not 100% sure if she was in Germany then, I still believe, she must have had at least some connection to Germany in some way, maybe a German friend who she still was in contact with or maybe she had access to German tv, maybe German YouTube channels or social media. And don't get me wrong, I love Franziska von Karma and I wouldn't wish anything bad on her, but at the same time I strongly believe that she'd be the kind of girl who'd have gone through a Mark Forster phase as a teen.

Now remember that I, myself, have a sister. I know what siblings do to annoy each other and I just know from the bottom of my heart that if Franziska really was a fan of Mark Forster's music, she would blast it on any opportunity she'd get. Or she would at least talk about him and his songs with her brother. Believe me. If Franziska really listened to Mark Forster, Miles would have known of him, too. There is literally no other way. (For reference, I know every 1D member's name, birthday and relationship status, although I literally do not care about any of them at all, only because my sister is obsessed with them and talks about them 24/7. Meanwhile the only MCR member I know, is Gerard Way, even though I listen to their music on the daily.)

So here is my conclusion.

Miles Edgeworth definitely listened to "Au Revoir" by Mark Forster on the plane from Japanifornia to Germany and he also definitely cried, after he made sure nobody could see him (especially during the part "Der Phönix macht jetz 'n Abflug"/"The phoenix is taking off now"). Also, he probably listened to the song multiple times during his stay in Germany and you literally can't prove me wrong on this. I mean you could try, but I invested way too much of my time in this to actually care about another person's opinion on my shitty headcanon.

Also, the moment Franziska met Phoenix and Maya, her memories vaulted her right back to her Mark Forster phase and her hatred against Phoenix wasn't solely based on the fact that he was accountable for the conviction of her father Manfred von Karma, her hatred was also ignited by the fact that she probably had "Au Revoir" stuck in her head because of these two for the rest of the day and I just know that this must have completely ruined it for her.

Also, unrelated to anything I've said prior:

Klavier Gavin would definitely collaborate with Mark Forster on at least one song and however severe Franziska's Mark Forster phase might have been, I am convinced Klavier would have outdone her by far. I haven't played AJAA yet, but as much as I've gathered from the fandom, he's like a weeaboo but with Germany, I think? I'm absolutely sure, he wouldn't ever miss a chance like this.

Finally, here is the song this whole post is about:

[yanderecandystore]

Hi I was the anon that asked the cat maid ask, and it just brought a smile to my face, it was so amazing and just thank you for writing that! Also can I have the same ask but with the delinquents? -🕸spider anon🕸

Hello Spider Anon! I'm so glad you sent me that request. Sure! Let's see how the delinquents react!

TW/Tags: I'll let this be a headcanon where the darling isn't part of any of the delinquent's groups // also I aged them up too, because I have forgotten that they were supposed to be on a institution just like the twins ;-; sorry //

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

Fortunate… Accident?? [Yandere! Delinquent OC x Reader]:

→ Janette Sartorius:

This freakin weeaboo wouldn't lose any time to finally get herself inside a maid cafe, so when she heard there was one opening in town, she was so excited!

Ahh, if she wasn't a bike gang leader, she would have preferred to be one of the maids instead! Wearing those cute outfits all day while gaining money for it!

But at least, she must contempt herself with the present situation, a cat maid cafe filled with cute-

"- Welcome in, mistress-! J-Janette?!" You couldn't help but yelp when you noticed the delinquent coming inside.

You didn't know about Janette personally, but you knew the rumours about her. And because you go to the same institution as her, you know a thing or two about the delinquents inside that place.

You have seen her in action a couple of times. For someone that is considered the weakest of all the delinquents, she sure is strong enough to scare everyone away. You know better than to mess with her, or any other delinquent in Saint Bernard's for that matter.

But hey! Maybe you'll be lucky enough of being one of the various students that she forgets that exists! Maybe she doesn't recognize you at all despite the fact you have the same classes as her.

But of course, things are never that simple, how could she forget about one of the prettiest students in that hellish place? Janette recognizes you almost instantly, but she was taken off guard and now she can't remember how words work, so she can't even say "hi" to you.

You bring her to her table, her expression is unreadable and you can only think that A: she really doesn't remember seeing you in class, or B: she remembers perfectly clearly and is now planning multiple ways of making fun of current attire.

But what was truly happening inside Janette's head was a lot more simpler than that, she was drooling over your form while also being jealous of how perfectly the outfit suits you. You looked so cute, she can only dream of being half as adorable as you are in that dress.

Cat maid, huh? She never thought you would be one to dress as a neko maid serving in a cafe, yet- Well, the view from her table is really, really nice.

She never thought she would be called mistress one day, she doesn't know how to feel about it, especially the way you said her name. Have you ever spoken her name in her presence? She doesn't think so.

It's kinda refreshing.

This situation doesn't exactly help her at all though. She went from simping for the cute shy student that never interacted to her, to simping over the same shy student, now wearing a mini skirt and acting like a neko maid. Serving her while being cute and terrified at the same time.

Now she has a new reason to want to apply for the job, but even if she doesn't get to be your coworker, she can always come back the next day, even if that means spending all of her money on sugary treats just to see you wearing that little maid costume.

→ Jackson Macnee:

Honestly, do you really think Jack is the type to enter maid cafes? Especially a neko maid cafe?? On his own?

He would only enter a place like this if he was forced to! And that's how everything started, Jack was forced to go inside this stupid place because his gang wanted to eat inside.

They wanted something different from the usual, and what could be more unusual to grumpy delinquents than a cutesy pastel cat cafe?

Yeah, he wasn't as excited as his gang was. They were probably more excited about the girls wearing maid outfits and cat ears than the food itself. He can't blame them tho, the maids are kinda cute in a weird way.

But seeing you working in a place like this sure is a strange situation, he can't tell if that is good or bad, I guess it all depends on his own interpretation. In one hand, he can see you in that ridiculously cute outfit, and in the other every single person in this place can also see it.

He is at least glad his friends didn't notice how familiar you are, they haven't noticed that you're a fellow classmate as well. But it was written clearly in your face that you have recognized them, you were afraid of attending their table yet you couldn't say 'no' to your boss even if you wanted to.

For someone that didn't want to come, he sure was starting to have a lot more fun now that he saw you. Even if he doesn't outright state how satisfying it is to see you after classes, you can still see the light in his normally dull eyes.

He didn't eat as much as his gang, he didn't pay attention to the sweet flavors, but rather at how you greeted customers. Those cat ears fitted you in a really odd way, he wasn't expecting to see something so interesting in this place, yet-

It was like he just found a diamond in the rough. If he wanted to get closer to you, then maybe he should come see you at your job more often.

🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭

[juhihuji]

do u have any random facts or things about Depth of heaven and ur characters (sfw or nsfw 🤭) even if what you want never comes to light, I really enjoy reading the concepts and asks about ur OCs

Hehehe I haven't thought about the characters and their story in a long time, until recently...but I never put a huge amount of thought into them before either! I kinda just knew I...wished I could make something cool that had everything I wanted in that kind of game lmao. Even if it doesn't happen, I felt like I wanted there to be twists and secrets...if it never happens then nobody but me will ever know about them, huh! But, if it does happen then I'll spoil stuff for later! What to do...ah I'll share about it! But I'm giving it a spoiler warning for something that doesn't exist anyway lmao Also I'm not a writer or a scientist this is all wacky world rules ok xd also there might be inconsistencies idk I never wrote anything down I'll tell u their heights! June: 5'4 Puzzle: 6'3 Koa: 5'6 Adam: 6'1 Keizo: 6'7 Lloyd: 5'11 Static: 6' Cyril: 5'9 Holly: 5'7

In high school June and Puzzle were da weeaboos who listened to vocaloid on their phones at lunch. Puzzle wore cat ears, big headphones, and tutus to school. I think....I decided that because of her old bad design lmao. I thought I had a drawing of her in cat ears but I can't find it 😔 June prolly just wore hoodies and graphic t-shirts. They were each others prom dates! June wore a tux! Okay spoilery stuff ahead!

I have a general idea what I want the story to be, but right now I just see it as disjointed scenes in my head. I posted some June and Puzzle wearing dresses where I wanted a scene to happen in a casino on the ship. Cruise ship casinos are kinda lame though lol, but it'll be as big and cool as I want >:•3 and it's an excuse to have everyone in cool formal wear cuz that's always fun! The cult leader calls for a big party on the ship and everyone has to attend! It's also where he culls the herd...because not everyone is worthy of going to heaven...apparently Koa likes playing video games! He's on the top of the leaderboard for one MMO, and during one event the top prize was blueprints for an in-game item: roller skates! It would make for cool merch to put on your wall or something. There was a rumor among the playerbase that the blueprints could make skates that function as they do in the game. Koa won the prints then used them to custom build his own skates (they look kinda generic now but I haven't put a lot of thought into their design lmao). The combination of materials used and construction give them a magical quality that allows him to skate faster than any human could! He's always pushing his limits, and sometimes it gets him in twubble xd Keizo has an issue with bad dreams...at night he replays all the times in his life where people were rude to him or each other, how he needs to keep peace between them, he just really hates assholes! He has nightmares about them treating him badly and there's nothing he can do, because at his height and with his strength he'd come off as the bad guy no matter what! They push and push 'til he's about to snap...then he wakes up! The rage super heats his blood and his skin glows red and steam pours out his ears! His hair is all wacky cuz it holds it's shape on the pillow from all the heat lmao June and the rest of them find out about it when they see steam coming out from under his door at night. Don't wake him up though! If he's still glowing hot he'll sleep walk while in a berserk state. First, it makes him really rude himself lmao. He'll say all the nasty things he won't when he's awake! Second, if he sees someone doin' shit he don't like, they're gettin' these 🤜🤛 In his happy ending you'd see him with his hair flat for the first time wouldn't that be nice :•3 Adam is always doing experiments on himself, kinda just for shits, kinda because he wants to discover something amazing....!.....?!?!??! When he was younger, his sister, who he loved v much, died. He wanted to become a doctor, not because he wanted to find a cure for the thing that killed his sister...because she died in an accident! He wanted to find a way to make people invincible! He's always injecting himself with stuff hoping it'll make him stronger. He likes Keizo as a friend, but to Adam Keizo is a perfect specimen of an indestructable human. Adam's been fascinated with him for a while, but Keizo also just makes for a good subject for testing against! Also, they met when Adam was studying abroad and Keizo came up on a motorbike and attacked the wheels on Adam's scooter. Cute! :•) Keizo used to be a bad boy :•( Other experiments Adam's done: Eyesight like a HAWK Cat ears but for real Jelly bones(?) Longer ween 😳 Lloyd is a stinky tech wiz who likes playing around with AI's and robotics! He has myassive myega brains and he monitors many of the functions of the ship by himself in his server room. When the captain is captured and thrown off the ship, Lloyd uses his know-how and special accesses to make sure the cult doesn't make a mess of everything. He knows about and can see everything that happens on the ship...for fun he likes video games toooo! And plays with Koa! He likes buildin' lil gadgets n tings for fun too! They can come in real handy! nsfw! Stuff past here!!!!!!!!! June, Koa, and Lloyd are all inexperienced!

As a lover, Keizo tries to be gentle...but once he gets into it he can be a bit rough! If you're into it, just enjoy! Or speak up and he'll slow down! Hmmm I was inspired by a scene from the film Crying Freeman (which I haven't actually watched 8•|) of some ppl doin' it in a closet(?)...it's all dark and cramped and humid and their skin is so shiny and glistening it's probably the thing that awoken me to drawing people super sweaty. I just can't help myself 😳 def wanna give Keizo a scene like that. This doodle was inspired by it actually lmao

Adam is patient and gentle! Lots of kisses and verbal reassurance and checking in w/ u. He's aware of his age and he doesn't wanna come off badly so he'll let you do all the pursuing. And June will pursue him hard if she has to! He's also gonna make you beg and ask, just so he's sure sure :•) He loves to sit her up on the examining table n do things wit his mouf n fingers 😳 I'd probably make it an option to call him daddy in certain scenarios...up to u if u choose it find out what happens for urself idk 😳😳😳 or don't

Koa likes to tease you, maybe bully you a lil, but when it comes to intimacy he's a wimp! I just like the idea of making the bully bend to your will, but he likes it. It just feels good to wipe that cocky smile off his face! Step on him! Make him whimper! I know June's a virg too, but Koa is just so easy to tease it makes it feel like second nature. BUT the more time they spend together, the more confident Koa becomes. So! Enjoy havin' him under your thumb while you can cuz it might not last forever! Lloyd tries to stay composed when June starts showing an interest. He's usually alone in his server room, but secretly appreciates her company when she comes by. At first he'll act like he's too busy. He's not used to being around women! As his interest in June grows it becomes harder to hide his feelings! So June notices...and teases him! Cuz it's just so easyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYY 😩 Seeing his serious expression crack when you put ur hands in his pants is lots of fun :•3 And he shows you a voice he's never shown anyone else before 🤤 He does his research and with your help he'll learn exactly how to worship u 😌 IF it ever happens there has to b a new game plus where u unlock threesome scenes with Koa/Lloyd and Adam/Keizo :•x That's all 4 now! Sorry I'm fuckin' gross and don't know how to type :•|

[takerfoxx]

Jurassic Park 4: Doki Idol Live Festival!

magic5ball submitted:

Remember how you asked me about my idea for a Jurassic Park sequel? Well, here you go:

The two velociraptors stood outside a pastel colored town house in Hokkaido prefecture, Japan. If any passerbys thought that was weird, they certainly didn’t show it. Probably because the raptors were wearing fedoras and fake mustaches, so they looked like humans. Also they had guns. Very cool, very intimidating mobster guns. A tommy gun and a sawed-off shotgun, respectively.

You needed guns, to survive Shinzo Abe’s little empire of vice and socialized medical care.

“So this is the place, huh?” muttered the velociraptor carrying the sawed-off shotgun. His thick Brooklyn accent hung in the air like concrete. “Kinda… frillier than I was expecting.”

“It better be.” Replied his companion, who sounded like your racist conservative uncle trying to impersonate that one cool guy from ‘The Godfather’ (You know, the one with the mustache who was played by Robert de Niro). “We hadda kill a whole lotta people to get this hellhole.”

Sawed-off shotgun licked his non-existent lizard lips

“But hey. That airplane stewardess tasted mighty fine goin-“

“Oh, for f*ck’s sake, would ya stop thinkin’ with your stomach and help me with this f*ckin’ knob!” cried tommy gun, trying to work the doorknob best he could with his raptor claws, which, in all honesty, wasn’t much, because raptor claws are terrible at operating things meant for human fingers. Little did he know, the door was a ‘pull’, not a ‘push.

At least he didn’t have to wait long before someone unlocked the door from the other side: another velociraptor, this one a bit on the short side. And p!ssed. Very, very p!ssed. You could tell he was the cool one because he wore an eyepatch over one eye. An eyepatch with a Captain Underpants logo on it.

“Didn’t your parent’s ever teach you idiots about using the doorbell?! I was just about to enjoy lunch with my beautiful wife and you-!“

He paused, recognizing the two figures facing him.

“Well, well, well” Said tommy gun, cocking his weapon “If it isn’t SWEET JOHN HAMMOND’S BALLSACK WHAT THE F*CK AM I LOOKING AT?!”

For the cool raptor was dressed in a gothic Lolita maid outfit, complete with a bonnet and penny loafers. Under his arm he carried a human sized pillow depicting what appeared to be a blonde floozy with massive tits.

 “Oh this? This is Mami Tomoe, my beautiful wife.”

“WHAT THE F*CK!?!?” Tommy gun pulled out a flask off orange Fanta from his butthole and drank the whole thing in one go. He did NOT have time for this homosexual weeaboo nonsense! Still, he and shotgun hadn’t left a mountain of corpses the exact height and width as Mt. Fuji behind them. Too many to go back to Isla Nublar empty handed. Er, clawed. Because they were dinosaurs. Who have claws.

Shotgun took a deep breath. “What the Boss means to say is, ‘May we take refuge in this fine establishment?’”

Cool raptor opened his mouth to reveal a pistol he’d hidden there. And by hidden I mean replaced his tongue with it.

“You know, for all crap you guys used to give me in the past, I oughta pump you full of lead right here and now. Buuutttt… the lady of the house is present, and I’m not in the mood to create more work on her end. So come on in! You’re just in time for lunch.”

Lest they attract unneeded attention, the three dinosaurs hopped inside.

.   .   .

Lunch was omurice boba tea with a bottle of teriyaki sauce on the side. It was just boba tea, but the boba had been replaced by omurice because F-Bomb hated the flavor of boba, which he likened to rabbit crap. The teriyaki sauce was teriyaki sauce.

It was the most racist thing shotgun had ever eaten.

“Well, now that you jerks have gotten a taste of my sloppy seconds, I suppose some introductions are in order. You’ve already met my lovely wife��� Cool raptor gestured to the body pillow seated next to him “So that leaves you two. Mami, meet A-Hole and D-Bag. A-Hole’s got the tommy gun, D-Bag is ridin’ her sawed off shotgun, as always. They’re old… acquaintances of mine.”

“He.” Corrected D-Bag. “I’ve been using he/him pronouns six months now.”

“Well that’s an improvement. Now instead of bein’ the Boss’ side B!tch literally, you’re just his b!tch figuratively!”

“Well screw you too, F-Bomb!” laughed the boss. “An’ speakin’ of screwing, what’s with the fruity get up? You a prostitute now or something?”

 “Even better! This might surprise you, but I’ve got legitimate work now. This here’s my uniform, my uniform for MILF TIDDIES!”

A-Hole chugged his entire bottle of teriyaki sauce in one go, lest his mind implode from the sheer stupidity of that sentence.

“The Hell’s a milf tiddie!?”

“Only the best freakin’ maid café in Hoikaido, hookers!”

He gestured to a wall, covered in hundreds of photos of cute floozies dressed like they were attending a vampire’s funeral. Among them was a photo of F-Bomb in his drag, serving a deep fried hot dog to some elderly Japanese dude.

“As you can see, yours truly is serving Japan’s national desert to none other than 57th Prime Minister of Japan Shinzo Abe!”

“Hold it up. Youse been hobnobbing it with politicians?!”

“I wish! You’re thinking of Shinzo Abe, 57th Prime Minister of Japan. This guy is his twin brother. Still pretty sweet though. We DID win a Grammy for that, after all.”

A-Holes eyes bulged out of his scaly raptor head.

“YOUSE WON A GRAMMY FOR THAT?!”

“Dang right! Milf Tiddies has won sixteen Grammys since I started working there!” He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. A very special piece of paper, if the six holes punched into it were any indication. “Did you know that if you win ten Grammys in a row, they give you a free orphan? That’s how the wife and I got our glorious daughter, Lil’ Nagisa!”

F-Bomb pulled a faded photo out of his wallet. A photo showing himself, his pillow wife, and a smaller body pillow of a ten-year-old moeblob wearing a Green Bay Packers cheesehead helmet.

“So youse couldn’t even conceive your own kid?” Inquired D-Bag sexily. He was munching his omurice slowly, so F-Bomb knew he was being serious.

“Are you implying I have sex with my own wife, you sick freak?! I’m a weeaboo, not some degenerate anime fanboy! Get it straight!” He instinctively cocked the pistol in his throat. It was awesome as hell.

In response, D-Bag pumped his shotgun. Loudly.

“Permission to put the sick freak out of his misery, Boss?”

“Firstly, don’t call me Boss when we’re not having anal sex. Second, no can do, my spicy lover. We need F-Bomb alive.”

F-Bomb heard all of this even though A-Hole whispered it, but he pretended not to make A-Hole feel clever.

D-Bag mumbled about how the Boss was lucky he was so mind blowing in the sack, otherwise he would have left the relationship long ago. The sack in this case being a really kinky sex dungeon. Like really kinky. So kinky even Donald Trump wouldn’t go within a mile of it. D-Bag had almost died of autoerotic asphyxiation more times than I’ve gone to the bathroom in my lifetime. That’s why he was the smartest dinosaur out of the three of them. Now where was I again?

Anyway, F-Bomb interrogated

“Alright guys, what’s the deal? I know folks who come to this socialized medical care infested hellhole, and they don’t come here just to eat omurice boba tea. You WANT me for something.”

He cocked his mouth-pistol again. Sparks flew all over the carpet, which was made of alpaca fur so it didn’t catch fire.

A-Hole scandalously kept his cool.

“It’s about Isla Nublar.”

The second those words left A-Hole’s lips, F-Bomb escorted his wife out of the kitchen, but leaned her against the kitchen door, because that’s what she would have wanted.

“Well what about it? I told ya guys, I’m done with that dump.”

“They’re puttin’ the screws on us, F-Bomb. Making us pay for eating those tourists back in the nineties.”

“And what makes you think I care? Like I said, I’m done with that place. I got a wife and kid now.”

“But F-Bomb, doesn’t the Park mean ANYTHING to ya!? What about the time we ate that park ranger that called you a girl? ‘Better than sex’ I recall you saying.”

“Nice try, but I’m not exactly in the mood to get misgendered again. Don’t you guys got any ideas that don’t involve me?”

“As a matter of fact, yours truly had this really spectacular one!”

D-Bag did a hand gesture wherein he constantly crossed his dinosaur claws across his throat rapidly in quick succession. A-Hole, being very smart, knew this meant he should continue, loudly enough so that everyone in the prefecture could hear.

“It was called ‘Trump Ballz’. We’d harvest Donald Trump’s testicles, see, and sell them to the highest bidder, so they could do whatever people do with lopped off testicles. I’m not one to judge. It was a terrific idea. I know because when I told my best friend Donald Trump about it, he said, ‘A-Hole, this is an incredible idea. Absolutely terrific! This is probably the best idea in America! You are very smart, very intelligent dinosaur! I oughta buy you a prostitute!’ Of course, we didn’t realize that Trump’s ballz don’t grow back when you lop them off. Did you know that by the way? Human testicles don’t grow back-“

F-Bomb cocked the pistol inside his throat gain, getting the Boss to shut up. This was probably the most heroic thing anyone had ever done in the history of the universe. He also asked a question:

“SO WHAT THE HECK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME?!”

A-Hole vomited a severed arm and a pamphlet onto the table.

“EVERYTHING, ya WEEB trash!”

The pamphlet was for something called the Doki Idol Live Fest- DILF, for short. F-Bomb was no stranger to the DILF, but they had parted ways years ago. Six, to be exact, when he had buried Nico Yazawa’s still screaming corpse by the side of the highway. And neither was he stranger to the prize.

It looked like a beer and soda drinking baseball cap, but only to complete idiots who didn’t know crap about the Idol Life.

And F-Bomb wasn’t one of those people, er dinosaurs.

“THE MCGUFFIN OF SIN?!”

“Dam* straight! And like it or not, youse the only one with enough idol know-how to help us win it! Thing’s worth, like, a zillion dollars.”

A zillion in this case was equivalent to half a million. Still, isn’t that impressive?

F-Bomb stuck his nose in his omurice and snorted, a common intimidation tactic among velociraptors. I know because I read  it in the Scientific American.

“Sorry, guys, but even with that on the line, no can do. I’m DONE with the Idol Life, any I’m not letting you filthy casuals drag me back in.” He cocked the pistol in his throat. “NOW SCRAM!”

A-Hole and D-Bag jumped out a window, so they could get the jump on a feral dog humping its’ owner. Nobody realized they were dinosaurs because of their fake mustaches, so it looked like a pair of mobsters were eating a puppy.

When they were gone, F-Bomb pranced to the bathroom, which was filled with plush alpacas he had collected over the years. So many, in fact, the bathroom did not meet OSHA compliance. Which was why F-Bomb had made it an independent nation state, only to realize that OSHA didn’t apply to him anyway, since he lived in Japan.

He had felt really stupid after that, but at least he got his own country out of it.

Anyway, he vomited sixteen liters of blood into the sink, for F-Bomb had a secret: he was dying. Back when he was a fetus in an egg in a lab on some island in the Caribean, he’d become addicted to the illegal street drug known as WEEB, and frequent use had poisoned his lungs. The doctors had given him Socialized Medical Care and four more years to live. The WEEB had taken eighty years off his life. Socialized Medical Care had borrowed his lawnmower and never given it back.

But F-Bomb also had a dream: he and his wife were going to build their own maid café, and it would be even better than MILF Tiddies. He’d already picked a title: DILF Tiddies, and it was going to be the greatest food-selling establishment in the history of Japan. Omurice boba tea was going to go global. But he’d never get the funds on time, not on his meager salary. Unless…

His beautiful wife greeted him as he exited the bathroom.

“Get a pen and some razor blades, sweetgums. I’ve got a letter to send.”

.   .   .

The message arrived in the neck of a mailman’s severed head. This is the traditional way velociraptors send letters to each other. I read it in a book.

D-Bag didn’t see the letter, but the look on A-Hole’s face told him everything.

“What’d I tell ya, D-Bag? Like I always say, when you’re dino you’re dino all the way, till youse dead in the ground or youse come out as gay!”

“Yeah, we really need to update those lyrics.”

End Chapter 1

...I cannot for the life of me decide if this is the greatest thing I've ever seen or the worst, but it at the very least had me staring speechless at my computer screen for a long time.

[pandoraheadcanons]

Dude it's like 9pm and I need to complain, but Cameron fucked up with how he approached Avatar entirely. Pandora is beautiful and all, but good god the Jake Sully narrative sucked. I've recently read through the Survival Guide, and I have Opinions. If he's doing a sequel then by god do I want to see the eco-terrorists on earth. I wanna know what sort of mob shit they're using to block the development of an earth-based unobtanium. I want to see kids holding Na'vi dolls. I want to see home dammit

you’re so right smh it sucked. there’s a ton of old criticisms i’ve written and posted on here but jake is just SUCH a white savior with the personality of a sack of flour that it makes him nearly impossible to like (at least for me). i use the survival guide a ton for my fic, as well as for fun reading and i agree the eco-terrorists are super interesting! ngl tho i can’t really stand the narrator, his notes just really irritate me for some reason like he just sounds like the pandora version of a weeaboo ig. but yesss i would love to see more of the earth-resistance! 

i definitely think there’s already a big pandora influence on earth in the movies timeline, as jake says ‘you grew up hearing stories about it.’ my friends and i have joked that theres a bar called ‘pongu pongu’ on earth based off the awful disney park bar lol 

regrettably, the RDA isn’t totally gone so who knows what we’ll see in the future 

[weaselbeaselpants]

That Krispy Cat: A Warning, part 3

The last of the images cause I don’t want this bitch on my computer anymore. 

Knowing tumblr I kept the images hidden JUUUUST in case no one reads the fine print and can’t tell I’m being critical of this and gets me in trouble.

VVV ((Just in case you thought the JewishGriffon piece assured everyone that Crispy couldn’t POSSIBLY hate people of color, some of her earliest Nazi art had her character Klaus beating up Amigo Bear. She also made Amigo into a liberal strawman. )) VVV

((Dialogue to one of her TROLLARIOUS pictures that featured Amigo:

Amigo Bear: *muttering* "Your leader was a !@#$% little #@%^!@$^*!, you fascist feather duster..." General Klaus: "Fräulein, Ich vant you to cover your ears und shut your eyes as tight as you can." Crispy: "How come, General?" General Klaus: "Klaus ist about to say und do very bad sings zhat he does not vant his little Edelweiß to see or hear." Crispy: "Alrighty!" General Klaus: "WHO SAID ZHAT ABOUT DER FÜHRER? WER DIE FICK GESAGT? WHO'S ZUH SCHLEIMIG LITTLE COMMUNIST-SCHEISS SCHWANZLUTSCHER DOWN ZHERE, WHO JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH VARRANT? NIEMAND?! GOTTVERDAMMT STALIN SAID IT! HERVORRAGEND! VHICH VUN OF YOU VANTS TO BE ZUH FIRST TO FIND OUT ZUH HARD VAY VHY MEIN FEINDE CALLED MIR DER BUTCHER BIRD?" ))

^^^ ((BUTOPHERARTISGOODSOYOUCAN’TCOMPLAIN

also the disc. for this pic before it was deleted had a ‘joke’ about cooking Jews in ovens. Oh and yes, that IS Hitler she’s giving that ugly ass cupcake too.))

^^^ (( - Thanks dA I never would have known I had a notifications unless eclipse blah -

This is one of her rants about how #Triggered she is that Starlight be compared to the Nazis when she runs a communist cult. Because A) that’s the real problem here and B) I too get upset when people say my OC is based on Jeffrey Dahmer when he’s so CLEARLY based on Ed Gein, Bwwwaaaah D> D> D> !)) ^^^

VVV ((Ugly art of her friend’s awful OCs.)) ^^^

VVV ((Crispy showing off why no one wants to be a patriot in our country.)) VVV

((FYI, Crisp, that attitude will make the Hamilton fans stronger so just keep that SJW-flinging coming you little SJW.

WHAT?! Social Justice is a broad term and as Crispy’s plainly demonstrated, you can circle it around and make a majority-class sound like the real underprivledged if you have enough fancy frou frou know-how and furries. Also, if a Social Justice Warrior constitutes someone who takes their cause soooo seriously that they’re annoying/petting/cruel/stupid about it....idk I think Crispy qualified.))

^^^ ((Crispy and her friend muse about what other races occupy the world of MLP in her headcanon. This, more than any other dA disc. and picture shows you her brand of “Segregationist-Nationalism is OKAY” thinking, cuz the art of these different races isn’t super offensive or cruel and neither are the characters. BUT if you scratch under the surface you’ll find that Crispy really likes these different people staying in their place and not in “someone else’s” country.

THEN, this same kind of thinking is used to convince you any mix of cultures is just cultural appropriation, again acting like she and her Nazi-stans are the only ones standing up to actual bigotry.)) VVV

^^^ ((Crispy makes the world a worse place by bringing up actual decent points; like how Americans dress Thanksgiving up as progressive and for the natives when we all know that’s not true...all to better her worldview.

fyi, GET OUT whenever you see a selfproclaimed Nazi fawn over Native Americans, because: Nazi Germany had a deep fascination with American Indians and used their struggles about their land being taken away from them to justify their eugenic genocide.)) ^^^

^^^ (( Crispy laughing it up on Furaffinity how she couldn’t be banned from her Furaffinity and then mysteriously never using her site there wowie.)) ^^^

^^^ (( Crispy complaining about SOPA cause her freedom of speech and blahblahblah.

Freedom of Speech is important. Unfortunately what people like Crispy don’t understand or care for is there’s no freedom of consequence. )) vvv

VVV ((LOL Joseph Mengele was such a stinkah let’s tell blithe jokes about him. At least WE AREN’T LIKE HIM!!!)) VVVV

VVV ((Early onset eugenic BS from her Spyro stuff that would be easy to miss if you didn’t know what this woman was talking about)) VVV

((Crispy admitting she thinks gays are pointless cuz they don’t reproduce but apparently loves them anyway. Also big shock Crispy’s seen Hetalia.)) VVV

VVV ((Crispy probably wanting Weeaboos to attack her cuz aren’t Japan’s animations so laaaaaaazy?!!?!? GUUdd think’ I’m a naziaboo! Germany’s never made any shitty animation evah. You know what, I lied. She doesn’t deserve Hetalia. She just doesn’t.)) VVVV

VVV ((Crispy dragging Brazil down with her as the apparent “Best South American Country”. Yikes.)) VVV

VVV ((More “it’s trolling ergo it’s not harmful” shit. Bulgarians probably do deserve their own Care Bears, but they certainly don’t want yours Crispy.)) VVV

VVV ((Disc. for her Richard Spencer bear art)) VVV

------

I know, I know...this isn’t what you wanted to read today, guys. I know it’s offensive and I’m sorry if it made you ill. I also know I’m putting my own blog under fire by showing these images here but I think that should say something about dA’s bad policies that this art gets a filter slapped on it and nothing more when the artist is blatantly pro-fascist.

Crispy resonates with me so much - and no it’s not cause I DARED to be “triggered”.

It’s because, for one, she was talented. I MEAN I HAVE EYES! That’s some nicely drawn digital stuff I’m not gonna deny. She had some cool rewrites and sequel ideas that, had it come from someone else I would have eaten up and faved to hell and back onceupona2012. But I didn’t, where a ton of MLP and furry fans did because they undervalued their own talents and would say “well it’s pretty who cares about the message?” 

Unlike so many commercial+published artists, it’s REALLY hard to separate the art from the artist here because the artist is so connected and a part of her art and storytelling. If you fav her art, even if you didn’t like her, that was telling Crispy she’d won. It’s so defeating to have other artists say their gonna ignore their gut for the sake of prettypretty-Don-Bluth style art. And yes, that stigma DOES affect my view on 2D purists btw.

Crispy was so holier than thou’, and that attitude also was appealing to dA folks, not to mention her knowledge of art history by the time she dropped off the radar. Crispy was the kind of person who’d make long, detailed, justified rants against the design and color choices in Hazbin Hotel and then a bunch of antis would eat her redesigns up only to learn the awful truth later and embarrass themselves cuz they were so taken up by the craft they didn’t know they were reblogging a fucking Nazi.

Not to underplay Viv’s wrongdoings of course, but I’m sorry; the two aren’t comparable on the problematic artist meter. THAT’S HOW BAD CRISPY WAS.

If this somehow was just a faze and she’s come to her senses or doesn’t really think this shite she preaches...I don’t care. She said some vile shit and fuck no I’m not forgiving her. It’s like KenDraw or Shadman. You’ve changed your life around and realized you’ve done/drawn nasty shit that’s done real harm? Cool....I’m still not talking or ever promoting you, ya dingbat. You ain’t no Roman Polanski or Doug Tennaple. You’re a singular internet artist and any support of the project has to go to you - and you suck!

ThisCrispyKat was a wakeup call that showed me these people not only still exist but will be allowed to get away with it. I was very touchy bout this kind of thing back in the day. Fuck, I STILL AM TOUCHY. The rabbit holes I found thanks to Crispy opened up to reveal communities where people think my hair color’s going extinct. People would detail how much they wanted to rape me - a natural blonde - and kill my friends and family for not looking like me. That they want to jerk off in my naturally curly hair and see me in glowy German princess gowns preparing them dinner.

Crispy and other Nazistans would look at me; a blond-haired blue eyed Polish/German American woman and think I need to be “fixed” because I DARE to repeat propaganda that the Nazis were bad. They’d call me a traitor for thinking that celebrating the Nazi party ISN’T German pride.

HOW DARE YOU TELL ME THAT’S GERMAN PRIDE! I’LL SHOW YOU GERMAN PRIDE YOU EGOSTROKING-LIMPDICKED ATTENTION WHORES.

People like Crispy make it 1000x harder to actually show interest in German things. Because I AM interested in German shit btw.

Like for real: it’s a country I’d love to visit one day (at least the black forest, which is where my mom’s fam comes from). I love German art and German fairytales slap. I really do want to explore my heritage through art and stuff.

But guess what? Much as Crispy would argue to the contrary I DO know my WWII history and beyond and FUCK YOU if you honestly think jerking it to cuddly Nazi-furs is empowering or just “showing your interest in history”. Take your own advice and read a god-damn book.

TL;DR: I DO NOT have to be proud of Nazis to enjoy German culture and if you think otherwise, FUCK YOU. It’s a slap in the face to everyone even if you are ‘just trolling’ and it in no way values actual German’s feeling on the matter. It’s annoying how people undervalue real people just for the sake of fan art.

The Nazis were evil. They were racist, eugenic-genocidal idiots who killed over six million Jewish people, Romani, Slavs, Jehovahs Witnesses, disabled people, Poles, homosexuals and prisoners of war. They would have killed my dad’s side of the family if they were in Poland at the time. They made bullshit tanks that killed the people making them and didn’t work on the battlefield. Their leader was a fat, farting one-testicaled bastard who preferred animals to people.

They ruined everything for everyone and then took the easy way out, leaving the Germans that were left in the hands of the also-genocidal Soviets and Americans. Germany is still paying their war debts and now, 70-80 years later everyone else wants to laugh off this dark period of history with memes and forget what they did, and as such, are forgetting the victims of the genocide.

I have 0 tolerance for Nazi things for the sake of HUMANITY, let alone the individual groups they target. I don’t have to have German ancestry or know a single Jewish person to tell you any of this. It’s fucking history.

Eat shit.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Some things I remember seeing when I was a weeaboo (that's "young adult gamer," not "awful person," although in Wikipedia's eyes the term may be applied to me):

PSA: I'm gay. I know. I'm sorry. I'm a grown-up and my body works differently and I should not have to pretend to have sexual organs that don't work like the rest of my body. Just accept it. It's normal, it's healthy, it's normal. Enjoy your life. You're living a fulfilling human life and there's nothing wrong with that.

I'm friends with a girl who's really into western anime ("and manga and stuff") and cosplaying. She has a blog. Her blog – which is called "Cinnamon Toast Cereal" – is a really funny blog.

I'm basically Japanese and I carry Japanese cultural references in my head all the time. I'm not trying to be "culturally insensitive"; I'm trying to be actually Japanese. I don't even think the "cultural reference" joke was really "culturally insensitive," I just thought it was kind of a weird thing to make a joke about. And now it seems really cliched (it was in some Japanese comic I saw a long time ago – I can't remember the title, it wasn't even that good), and I can't remember why I thought it would be a good or funny thing to say?

When I was about three or four and getting into fantasy books, the characters would often speak in obvious, exaggerated versions of English slang, or even the names of English words (in the case of "bloke," "bollocks"). I don't think this was supposed to be funny? I guess it kind of was, for some kids? But it wasn't really "Japanese culture" and didn't have anything to do with actual Japanese culture. I guess it was a joke because it was obvious? (I'm kind of glad I haven't seen it in years!)

[hanguk-berry]

🕊🎫 The Issue With Calling People "Koreaboo"

I - and I think I can say this on most people's behalf too - believe that cultural appropriation is a bad thing. It is straight up disgusting. Though, it doesn't hurt others directly and physically, does it?

Just don't do it. Accept your own culture and your own ethnicity. I beg you. And sure, talking about cultural apporopriation, I don't feel the need to add more to this. So then exactly why am I writing this post?

Because a lot of people throw this word around carelessly, not giving it a thought about how the 'attacked' person might feel.

By this I mean calling people who study the Korean language 'Koreaboos'; calling people who are genuinely interested in the Korean culture and want to learn more about it 'Koreaboos'; accusing K-Pop fans of being 'koreaboo-ish', because they have the courage to admit their love for Korean pop culture.

This itself wouldn't be much of a problem. But now think about it the other way around. Would you call a Korean person an 'Americaboo' because of their curiousity about American culture? Because their favourite artist is from America? Because they make an effort to study the language harder than they would in school, just to be able to understand their favourite musician speaking his mother tongue, and to be able to make friends from said country America to get to know and learn about the society more?

No.

It is common sense to appreciate it when someone sincerely shows interest in your native country. I believe that the only people who actually do have the right to call others 'Koreaboo', are Koreans themselves. In most cases it does no harm to be a 'Koreaboo'. I am not implying that it is totally and completely acceptable when certain people cannot acknowledge their own identity. But frankly, whose problem is this? Not ours.

Most of these people have problems with accepting themselves and therefore try to be a better version of themselves. That is not the right way to do it. But we don't need people from other backgrounds, with no connection to the target country at all (genetic- and cultural-wise) tell us who is a 'Koreaboo' and who isn't.

This is my stance on the whole topic and it's been bothering me for a while now so I decided to put this out. I apologise for grammar or language errors, since English is neither my first nor my second language.

Feel free to comment your thoughts on this as well, I would really enjoy a discussion about this!! Also this applies to the topic of 'Weeaboos', etc. too!