#but i just have a lot of thoughts and feelings and maybe i'll have another part
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Marvel: I Have A Proposal For You
Parings: Steve Rogers x Reader
Description:
Reader has no luck with me her own age, they're useless and never put the effort in to make her cum, Steve offers to help her.
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Smut, Older Man/Younger Woman, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin
Words: 4,521
So I'm in a bit of a writing rut on my series, so I thought I'd write a quick little smut with Stevie rather than stress over my series. Hope you enjoy <3
You huff loudly as you walk into the Avengers kitchen at 1am, you didn't expect anyone to be awake, but of course with so many people living under one incredibly large roof, there was. Steve sat inside at the kitchen breakfast bar, drinking his small glass of whiskey.
"I hate men" You snap, huffing again as you lean against a counter, you hadn't said it specifically to Steve, you just needed to get it out, you had been thinking it for a while. A hour to be exact.
Steve watched as you walked into the kitchen, he noticed your annoyed demeanor and stands up, walking closer to you.
"What's up?" He asked, his blue eyes on you, worried something bad had happened.
"Men" You mutter "Well, specifically men my age, they're useless...I went out tonight, ready to party and have some fun, and went home with this guy, he didn't even make me cum! But when he was finished, he just rolled over and went to sleep!" You ranted, your thoughts thinking over the events of the night again, this was the last time you'd ever have a one night stand with a random man. They were useless.
Steve stood listening intently as you ranted, a small smirk forming on his lips as you continued vented.
"He just rolled over and went to sleep? Just like that?" He asked, he was leaning against the opposite kitchen counter now, his arms crossed over his chest, his muscles maybe distracting you just a little.
"Just like that!" You yell, you then notice the small redness over Steve's cheeks. "Oh...Steve, I'm sorry, I'm sure you don't want to hear about my pathetic sex life" You say, feeling a little guilty.
Steve chuckles at your words, he took a step closer to you.
"It's okay. I don't mind listening to you rant. So, tell me more. This guy, how old is he exactly?"
"My age...well, twenty-three, so a year older than me" You answer, rolling your eyes at the thought of the guy again. At least he didn't finish inside of you...you kept telling yourself.
"And he didn't even make you finish, that's a little rude" Steve sighed, that smirk forming on his lips again.
"I'm telling ya, men my age are useless" You huff pushing yourself off the counter and taking a few steps away from the area. "Guess I'll go to bed, sort it out myself"
Steve notices the disappointment on your face as he watched you move. He couldn't help but feel a pang of annoyance, not just at the way that guy had treated you, but at the thought of you having to 'sort it out' by yourself.
"Wait a second" The words formed in his mouth before his brain even finishing thinking them. A idea coming to his head. You stop walking and turn to look at him.
"Yes?" You ask. Steve then pushes off the kitchen counter he was leaning on and walks over to you, standing an arms length away from you. His eyes fixated on yours as he stood in front of you.
"Can I ask you a question?"
You smile up at him and nod. "Of course"
Steve stood another step closer to you, shorting the distance between you both, he held your gaze as he asked his question on his mind.
"If there was a way to...'solve' this problem of yours right now, would that be something that would interest you?" He asks, his voice low and husky. The breath within you was suddenly caught in your throat. You looked him up and down quickly, wondering if you were dreaming...your crush on the older man was something you'd had for a while, not that anyone knew. He was a lot older than you, so naturally you never thought he'd like you.
"And...how would you 'solve' my problem?" You ask cooly. Steve obviously noticed your lingering gaze, he could see the flicker of curiosity within your eyes as you looked at him. His heart rate picked up a bit as he watched your reaction, your cheeks had a slight red tint to them, and your tongue darted out to lick your lips, your eyes never straying from his. He leaned in a bit closer to you as he spoke quietly to you.
"Well, I have an idea"
"Yes?" You ask breathlessly.
Steve continued to observe your face, noticing the slight change in your breath as you spoke. He leaned in a little closer, stepping closer, your bodies almost touching now.
"You said that the guy you were with didn't...make you finish, right?" He asked, his voice soft and low as he spoke.
"He didn't" You answer quietly as you look up at him, his eyes sparkling down as he looks at you. You lick your lips again, your body feeling weaker and weaker as he spoke. You could guess what he meant, you hoped you were right in your thoughts. The feeling in your lower stomach was strong, the need and want for him growing.
"So you're all...pent up and unsatisfied, right?" Steve asks, he noticed your slight irritation at the fact that the guy didn't make you feel good. He felt annoyed on your behalf, but quickly he pushed that thought aside. You nodded, your eyes still on his, though you felt as if your eyes had a glaze of lust over them with how you were feeling right now.
"And you don't want to have to 'take care' of it yourself, right?" He asks, his voice lower and lower with every word.
"No" You answered quietly.
He held your gaze for a moment longer before speaker, his voice becoming a bit more huskier.
"In that case...I have a proposal for you"
"Yes?" You asked, your body tingling as you thought about the things he could do to your body. He took another step closer, if that were possible, you were touching now, hips to hips. He looked down at you, a hint of a smirk on his face.
"I can...'assist' you with taking care of that problem, if you'd like"
"I'd really, really like that" You whisper, Steve had lowered himself slightly, so your faces were close now. Close enough that if you just moved forward slightly, you'd be touching noses. You could smell his cologne he was so close, it only added to your current state.
"Then I'd be happy to 'assist' you, sweetheart"
"Please" You almost whimpered. You cursed to yourself in your mind for sounding so pathetic. Steve smirked and gently raised a hand placing it under your chin, tilting your face up to look at him more intently.
"So eager...I like that" He whispers, the breath from his words touching your lips in a way that makes you feel almost feral, ready to take him, let him have you however he wishes. The urge to please him bubbles up inside you, and usually you'd maybe feel embarrassed, but not today, not with Steve. You nodded pathetically, his fingers still having a hold on your chin as you move.
"Please Steve, I am"
"Don't worry...I'll make you feel good, I'll take care of you"
"We...we should go to one of our rooms" You whisper, hating yourself for breaking the wonderful moment between the two of you, but having another Avenger walk in on you was not on your bucket list. He nodded in agreement, his eyes roaming over your face, he wraps an arm around your waist, holding you close, leading you towards the hallway.
"Let's go to mine"
"Okay" You say softly, letting him lead you completely. Steve kept his arm around your waist as he led you down the hall to his room. As he pushes the door open, he guides you inside, closing the door and locking it afterwards.
"Fuck, can't believe we're doing this" You whisper, almost in awe at one of your fantasies coming true. Steve couldn't help but chuckle at your comment. He led you over to the bed, guiding you to sit down before standing in front of you. You looked up at him, enjoying the sight of him.
"Don't worry, sweetheart. I promise I'll make you feel good" He says with a sweet smile. You nodded, and returned the smile hoping he'd understand you were willing to put your entire trust onto him. He must of because he smile widened and he began to unbutton his shirt, he pulled it off his body, revealing the muscles underneath.
"Wow" You whispered out-loud. You looked up over his body, your mouth watered at the slightly of his muscles and naked torso. He chuckled softly and began unbuttoning his trousers as well, keeping his eyes on your face as he dropped them down to the ground. He down stood in front of you with just his boxers covering his skin.
"You like what you see?" He asks, and your eyes were no longer on his, now looking at the large bulge in front of your face, trapping within the confinements of his boxers.
"God...yes...so much" You say with a slight smirk, you moved your hands from your lap and onto his hips, your fingers hooking just under his boxers. You heard Steve's breath hitch as you touched his skin.
"Someone's eager..." He teased, his voice a bit hoarse.
"Shut up" You answered as you slowly pulled his boxers down his toned legs. He let out a soft chuckle.
"Eager and rude" He said, still teasing you.
"You have no idea" You mutter, you were eager, for him. You pulled his boxers all the way down, his already hard cock bounced free from his boxers and slapped against his stomach. His boxers were now pooled down at his feet, and his cock stood to attention in front of your face, your stomach fluttered at the sight, he was large...Larger than you'd had before, but not only did he have ample length, he was thick...You could imagine how full you'd feel with it inside of you, you squeezed your legs together, feeling excited.
"God Steve, you're beautiful"
"Beautiful huh? You think I'm beautiful?" He asked, his voice a bit huskier than before.
"So much, god, I know this was originally about me finishing...But can I put my mouth on you?" You ask, your mouth watering at the thought of tasting him. Your eyes flicker up to his momentarily as you ask your question.
"Go ahead sweetheart" He answers, his cheeks were flushed a little red now. It was enough to make you feel giddy. You moved your hands first, taking his hardness in your hand, it was just larger than both of your hands wrapped around it. You left one hand wrapped around his cock, close to the base as you moved forward, licking his head experimentally. Steve's breathing got heavier as you completely wetted the head of his cock.
Closing your eyes you really got into it, taking his tip into your mouth, moaning softly at his taste, he tasted clean, fresh, unlike so many men you had been with. You expertly moved your hand up and down his length whilst taking as much of his cock into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you suck. Your eyes were wet, small tears were streaming down your cheeks, he must of noticed because one of his hands moved to wipe them. Steve was moaning loudly now, he had moved one hand to your head, softly holding you, guiding you but not forcing you down. You would of smiled if your mouth wasn't busy, even in moments like this, he was ever the man with the manners.
You moved your mouth a little faster, your jaw had started to ache slightly, but you didn't stop, until his hand moved down to your throat, stopping your movements, you pulled off from him and looked up at him through your wet eyelashes.
"Why'd you stop me?"
"I didn't want to come before you darling" He whispers.
"Oh" You say quietly, he was perfect "Let me level the playing field and we'll continue" You smirk, standing up from the bed, you lift the dress you were wearing off your body, throwing it somewhere random in the room. Steve lets out a low breath as he watched you. You watched as he swallowed, his eyes fixed on your body.
"Damn, you're just...wow"
Your smirk only continues to plaster over you face as you take your underwear off, leaving you completely bare to him. He couldn't take his eyes off you, his eyes traveled up and down your body, taking in every inch of your naked form.
"You're absolutely perfect, sweetheart. You're so goddamn beautiful"
"Kiss me" You whisper, interrupting his rambles. Steve heard your whispered request and immediately he leaned down so he was level with you. He placed his hands on your hips and pulled you against him, and pressed forward pressing his lips to yours. His lips explored your mouth hungrily, his tongue parting your lips and sliding against yours as he kissed you.
You sighed happily into the kiss, smiling against his lips, your naked bodies pressed together whilst you snaked your hands up from his shoulders into his luscious blonde hair. He let out a quiet moan into your mouth, he let his hands wander your body, exploring every inch and curve of your skin as he continued to kiss you with fervor.
"God, I can't take it...need you" You mumbled against his lips.
"I need you too, sweetheart. I need you so damn badly"
You moved your hands from his hair down to his hips, holding him as you walked backwards, guiding him to follow you, when the back of your legs hit the bed, you fell down onto it, smirking up at him. Steve followed you, hovering his body over yours. His lips move onto your body, whilst his hands held onto your hips as his lips worshiped you.
He continued to trail kisses down your body, his lips moved over your skin so delicately, exploring and worshiping every inch of you. He took his time, wanting to make sure you savored the sensation, letting his hands also roam across your body, caressing and touching you in all the right places.
"Mmmm Steve...oh...that's so nice"
He carried on kissing you and touching you, listening closely to every small noise and whimper you would let out. He paused for a moment to look up at you, a smirk on his face.
"You that that, sweetheart? Like my hands on you, my mouth on you?"
"So much" You whimper quietly as you look down at him.
He smiled as you answered him, obviously enjoying the effect he was having on you, the way you were responding to him, the way you were reacting to his touch. He continued to kiss and gently suck at the skin of your breasts, as one hand moved to touch your nipple, playing with it in between his fingertips.
"You're so beautiful, you know that? So goddamn beautiful..." He mumbled against your skin.
"Steve, I need you...need more" You begged, your senses were overwhelmed with a need for him. You shivered as he moved one hand down your body, his fingertips trailing against your skin as he moved, his eyes were still locked on yours as he mouths your skin, his fingers moved down in between your legs finally touching you were you needed it most.
He expertly moved his fingers in between your wet folds, dragging your wetness from your hole up to your clit, he slowly circled two fingers over your clit as his lips moved up to your collarbone, sucking a small mark into your skin. You moaned loudly, moving your hands to grip his arms as you spread your legs further for him.
Steve knew exactly where you needed him to touch, and he was more than happy to provide it. He moved two fingers away from your clit, and you were ready to whine at the lost of contact, but he soon made up for it by pressing those two fingers inside of your wet hole, you gripped his arms tighter feeling your body shudder slightly at the new feeling, his fingers were thick, and felt amazing within you. You grind your hips against his fingers slightly, only grinding harder as his thumb pressed against your clit, the little bundle of nerves shooting electric throughout your body.
"Oh...wow...Steve...jeez, you're good with your fingers" You moan out in a whisper.
He chuckled, his lips still on the skin of your chest, he smirked, obviously feeling a bit proud of his skills with his fingers.
"You like that, huh? Like how I'm making you feel with my fingers?"
"Yesss!" You whined as he pumped his fingers faster into you. His fingers didn't slow as he kissed lower, his lips trailing down your torso and down past your stomach. He continued to kiss you, moving his mouth lower and lower, his goal becoming more and more clear as he approached where his thumb was.
"Oh! Yes! Steve!" You whined loudly, feeling your body close to it's edge. You body shuddered hard as his mouth replaced his thumb against your clit, he sucked hard and kept his fingers moving at a fast pace, you body shook as he brought you to your finishing point, you came hard around his fingers and over his face, he didn't slow his movements, moaning softly against your wet skin as you grind against him. Your body shook in the aftermath of your pleasure, your legs closing around him.
Steve looked up and smirked, his free hand moved to hold down your leg, making sure you kept them spread. You body trembled against him, you were still shaking slightly.
"Don't close those legs, sweetheart. I'm not done with you yet"
"Fuck, I hope not"
He chuckled again, moving his lips back to your clit, he licked down towards his fingers, opening them slightly to slide his tongue inside of you, alongside his fingers. You moaned loudly, moving one of your hands to his hair, holding his head for support whilst your other arm flew to rest over your eyes, your mouth was wide open, strings of loud whimpers and moans never faulting as they left your lips.
"Oh, don't worry, sweetheart. I'm nowhere near finished with you. I plan on taking my time with you" He says, his lips moving against your hole as his fingers move slowly inside and out, his tongue darting out every few words as he spoke, tasting your hole.
"God...I'm yours" You whisper as your body shivers with excitement. You had forgotten about that loser of a guy from earlier in the evening.
"Damn right you are. You're mine sweetheart. All mine" He spoke quietly, his eyes shut as he dives back in, his fingers began moving again at a past which made you feel dizzy. His mouth was over your clit as he sucked and licked, moaning as he tasted you.
"Steve....oh...oh...oh my god" You moaned, becoming a moaning mess underneath him. You were shaking with pleasure as he made you come again, and again. You had a daze of happiness washing over you body as he crawled back up to you, he smirked and brought his lips down to yours, moving his wet lips against yours, you tasted yourself on him, not caring one bit. He moved one hand to cup your cheek, holding you so softly it made you feel fuzzy inside. You moved your hands to the back of his neck, holding him against you as you kissed.
As you kissed Steve's hips rutted gently against your hip, his hard cock leaving a wet stripe of precum over your leg, you smiled into the kiss causing him to pull away and cock his head at you.
"What's so funny?" He asks.
"Nothing...What's...uhh your favourite position?" You asked, feeling a little bashful at the question, but after what he did to your body, you felt like he deserved his favourite position.
"You really wanna know?" He asks, his cheeks flushing red slightly.
"Please?"
"Well, my favourite position is usually missionary. Just being able to look at your face and see your eyes whilst I'm on top of you..." He said, almost bashfully.
"Oh Steve, you sweetheart" You say, a soft giggle on your lips.
Steve felt a smile on his face, he was so damn attracted to you.
"What? Seeing your face as I'm on top of you watching your eyes as they close and your expression changes...it's quite a sight" He explains.
"Well then, why don't we make it a reality" You say softly.
"I was hoping you'd say that, sweetheart" He chuckles, moving slightly so he hovered over your body completely, his arms rested by the sides of your face and his cock trapped in between your stomachs. You moved your legs slightly, spreading them so he had space to slot in between them. Steve positioned himself a little, his eyes were all over your body, taking in your form as he moved a hand down to his cock, taking himself he lined himself up to your hole.
He didn't push in yet, choosing to drag the head of his cock up and down your wet pussy a few times, causing you both to moan softly, he moved down to press his lips to yours, kissing you softly, almost savoring the touch and taste of your lips on his as he slowly pushed his cock inside of you. You'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt. It wasn't an awful pain, it was one you almost welcomed, the slight twinge of pain adding to your pleasure.
"You okay, sweetheart?" He asks, his lips still on your as he spoke, neither of your eyes opened anymore.
"So good, keep going" You answer, your legs were pressed to his hips, holding onto him as he finally pushed his entire hard cock inside of you. You had never felt so full, but feeling his entire length was beyond amazing, he was thick, thick enough that you could feel the veins of his cock against the walls of your pussy. You clenched around him a few times, causing him to groan loudly as he kissed you, you used the moment of his groan to slide your tongue into his mouth, losing yourself into him. You nodded slightly, hoping he'd know what you had meant. You needed him to move, needed him to pound into you like there was no tomorrow.
Steve understood your meaning, his lips stopped moving against yours slightly as he concentrated on moving his hips, he slowly dragged himself out of you, leaving just the tip, the feeling alone causing him to feel close to his edge, he then moved his cock fully back into you, a few times, just to make sure you were both completely covered in wetness. Your hands were on his shoulders, nails digging slightly into his skin as his hips began moving. Slowly at first, but soon he picked up the pace.
Steve's lips moved away from yours, kissing had been forgotten regardless, you both held your open mouths together, swallowing one another's moans rather than kiss. His lips moved to your neck, resting there as he slammed his hips into yours. The only noises in the room are those of both your moans and the loud slapping of his hips against yours.
"Steve...m'close" You whine, your legs beginning to shake. Steve, who was sucking yet another mark into your skin moved one hand in between your bodies, moving it down so he could press to fingers to your clit, he messily moved against the bundle of nerves, helping to push you over the edge.
You moaned loudly, gripping onto his shoulders as the pleasure ripped through you body, even with closed eyes your vision went fuzzy and spotted with black dots, you giggled softly as you came down from the high, Steve had slowed his thrusts, his face lifted to look at you, a large smirk on his lips.
"You good, sweetheart?"
"So good" You say with a light giggle, feeling over the moon with pleasure, your legs went slack against the bed, they jolted slightly with every thrust of Steve's cock. Steve's thrusts started becoming faster, his fingers no longer on your clit, which you were thankful for, feeling close to overstimulating, both of his large hands were on you hips as he held you tightly, his fingers leaving little imprints on your skin as he used your hips to thrust into you harder. Your hands were lazily on his shoulders, you moved them over his chest, feeling his muscles in your post haze state.
"Come Stevie, come inside of me" You whisper, your voice trailing off slightly into another moan, his cock still stretching you perfectly.
"Are...Are you sure, sweetheart?" He asks, his hips slamming into you messily.
"Yes, wanna feel you" You whispered, clenching your pussy against him.
"Fu..fuck" He groaned, you giggled slightly at hearing Captain America swear, you clenched your pussy again as he thrusted into you, his movements becoming messy and sloppy as he became closer to his edge. "Gon...gonna come...fuck!" He moaned loudly, slamming his hips into you once more, letting your pussy cover his cock completely as he buries himself into you, spilling his seed deep within you, he drops his head down to your chest, his sweaty forehead connecting with the skin in between your breasts. You move your hands to his hair, holding him as he lays there, obviously catching his breath.
"Wow" You whispered.
"Yeah, wow" He replied, his voice quiet as he pressed a kiss to your skin.
After a few moments, Steve slowly removed himself from you, both of you wincing from the overstimulation, he then leaves the bedroom, only emerging from the bathroom when he had a wet flannel in hand. Steve smiled sweetly down to you as he washed your lower body of his seed, he kissed along your lower stomach as he did so.
"You did so good" He whispers.
"I did?" You ask, smirking down at him.
"So good, I'm glad you liked my idea" He grinned, it took you a moment to realise what idea he was talking about, suddenly remembering the real reason this had happened between you both.
"Yeah, well I think I'll be coming to you from now on, rather than a useless guy my own age" You answer with a smirk.
"Good, because I meant it when I said you were mine" He answers, moving forward to kiss your lips.
And finally you ended the night how you had wanted, in the arms of a man who knew how to make you feel good. And the fact that it was Steve's arms you were in, well that was just a bonus.
(I do not consent my works to be posted anywhere else, by anyone other than myself.)
#fluff#steve rogers x you#captain america x reader#steve rogers smut#captain america smut#captain america x you#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers x reader#captain america fanfiction#marvel smut#marvel x reader#marvel fanfiction#marvel fic#mcu x reader
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Oh my God, you mentioned wanting to write a thing about when Starrk finally let's his reiatsu out, and honestly, I've been thinking about that so much!!! Like here is Starrk, who has been keeping his reiatsu down to around average, who sleeps all the time, so doesn't stand out, who stands beside Ichigo, Ichigo who crazy stands out, also Starrk who joins the 4th, the 4th who everyone else considers to be weaklings!! You imagine the look on everyone's face the first time he let's lose!?! Maybe some bullying goes too far, and Starrk, who nobody thinks much of, just smacks them down hard!!! And everyone is like WTF lol 😆
sorry, I just love the idea of when people realize that Starrk is actually strong like Ichigo!! So 😁 funny!! Anyway, thanks for sharing your thoughts about this. I love reading them.
Lol yes it's one of those scenes that you see happen in so many different ways and all of them would be fun. I'm undecided on how I want to do it Officially so I'm putting it off (or maybe I'll just write several of them lmao).
I imagine it would have to be very serious bullying for Starrk to take that much action, cuz like he really isn't the sort to step in for every little thing. If it happens to someone he considers one of his, he might note it down and then quietly go and prevent it from happening again from behind the scenes, but in real time, he'd rather diffuse the situation or leave it to the "victim" to handle it and only step in if it looks like they really can't, and even stepping in would just be a sharp word or two to run the bully off. He's not a straightforward bleeding heart the way Ichigo is, cuz the hit-the-problem-so-it's-no-longer-a-problem method is def Ichigo's go-to strategy, he would absolutely smack the shit out of someone bullying Asuka or Rangiku in front of him and be done with it right then and there, prob flaring his reiatsu without even meaning to cuz his control's a lot better these days but it's also kind of 0 to 50, well-hidden or flashing neon sign, no in-between unless he really concentrates 😂 It's another reason Starrk would have little reason of his own to act, cuz like Ichigo would absolutely beat him to it.
For me, I could prob imagine him unleashing his reiatsu/revealing his strength if someone's about to die and the threat is big enough that he actually has to flex. He's just not someone who'd easily show what he can do, and hiding it from the likes of Aizen and the Quincy wouldn't even be his top reason. It's more like lingering PTSD--his strength doesn't bother him anymore now that he's had years of proven control under his belt, and he's even needed every last bit of his power over the past decade of war, but subconsciously, he's still not 100% comfortable with just letting anyone feel it, even tho he has enough control now that it wouldn't hurt them unless he wants it to because what if? So like, his first instinct will always be to keep it locked down, and for minor stuff (altho minor is relative for him I guess lolol), pulling out that much power is def a last resort.
Again, it contrasts what Ichigo would do. Ichigo's just used to overkill. Like even before he got his powers, he learned that an overwhelming show of strength would solve most of his gangster-related problems very easily, plus he lived in a household where Isshin only backed off from kicking him into a wall or something by kicking first or kicking back. And then after he got his powers, it's not even really his fault that he internalized a "might is right" kind of mindset /points at the entire fucking SS invasion arc and honestly every arc after that/. And also he spent his first years of Shinigami-ing running around with an unsealed Zanpakutou and zero reiatsu control, being in a constant state of Shikai is natural for him, and (moving into this AU's headcanon territory) it took him several months into the Quincy War before he finally learned to seal it away and actually have other ways of fighting that isn't just flinging Getsuga Tenshous around. He uses Bankai the way other people use hand-to-hand combat or Kidou spells, so even now, his first instinct is to just hit the problem hard enough so that it won't get back up to do more harm, and for him, that applies to everything from schoolyard bullying to fighting monster-gods. And on top of all that, his actions are largely driven by emotion. More than anything else, his first reflex is to protect, and that often leads to him throwing way more power at a threat than he actually needs to. He knows how to be more subtle these days, but it's not his preferred method and def not a reflex either the way it is with Starrk.
Of course, Starrk also understands "might is right" just by dint of being a Hollow, but he's basically spent a thousand years as someone too strong for anyone to fuck with just by existing, so he doesn't have the same kind of exposure to physical conflict that Ichigo grew up with that would make violence his first instinct.
Aanndd omg this ran away from me lmao sorry, you get a speedrun analysis on Starrk and Ichigo instead 😅
TLDR I'm still not sure of any exact scenarios that would force Starrk to show his hand, I don't want to wait until a Sternritter shows up or a final showdown vs. Aizen happens because that would take forever before we get there (I mean I could just jump right in there since this isn't a whole fic, but in-universe-timeline-wise, I'd prefer it happening earlier), but it's difficult for me to imagine that something in everyday life or even just a Hollow extermination mission would be enough to make him reveal even a bit of what he can really do.
Case in point, if you remember that mission in SP canon where Shunsui brings Ichigo and Rangiku along on a mission into the Rukongai to gain experience, and Ichigo sees a Hollow about to attack Shinji who hadn't spotted it yet, but he also didn't want to leave Rangiku unprotected, he went straight for unsealing his Zanpakutou and basically hand-delivering a shopping list of unusual or downright unique abilities to Aizen via Gin. In this AU, if Starrk goes along, he would never do such a thing, and in fact, he'd stop Ichigo and just fire a damn Byakurai or something across the clearing and kill it that way. Even if Ichigo doesn't have the finesse to pull off a low-numbered Kidou spell on the fly, he could've chosen a higher-numbered one and that would've still revealed far less to Aizen than unsealing his Zanpakutou would. But again, subtlety isn't his strong suit. He now at least has the presence of mind to think about the consequence of leaping into the fray without thought, it would leave Rangiku wide open, but his first instinct is still to use overwhelming strength to protect the people he cares about.
In contrast, Starrk may be a soft touch compared to basically every other Hollow and quite a few Shinigami, but he has the maturity and just the general personality to go for the strategic option. He has a far more tactical mind, implied even in canon to rival Shunsui in that department, so rushing in just isn't in his nature.
The only other way imo is if someone just... asks. Reikaku (reiatsu-sensing) is a thing Shinigami learn. In canon people can sense exactly who's coming just by their reiatsu (if they know them), not just if they're a Shinigami or a Hollow or even a Human, but it doesn't really expand on how. So I imagine you have to have a good feel for the person's reiatsu, it's the same as my age headcanon for reiatsu, not only can someone halfway decent at sensing reiatsu be able to get an idea of the other person's age, they would also be able to recognize and associate that reiatsu signature with that person since everybody's is different, but obviously they would have to be exposed to it a few times to learn it. Starrk's reiatsu is very unique so once or twice would be enough, and I can see a situation where the kids might ask to feel it for that reason, or a mission might require the team leader to ask, etc. etc. So yeah, that's all I got.
#man this got long i'm sorry#and vaguely off-topic???#bleach#coyote starrk#kurosaki ichigo#ichigo & starrk time travel verse
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I want to rant about a lot of things from Act 3, but I'll start with Viktor's song, The Line.
The Line is such a beautiful song. When I first watched the teaser on Friday, I turned into a puddle of tears. The lyrics were so lovely and described Viktor perfectly. I couldn't imagine myself watching the real episode. I read that they sent the scenes to TOP and got the song back in just three days, which is incredible.
But when I watched the whole scene, I was disappointed. It starts with Viktor saying goodbye to Sky after spending what seems like 3–6 months with her in her beautiful astral form. He says, ‘I’ll miss our talks,’ and Sky responds, ‘No, you won’t.’ She knows he’s letting go of her—of his humanity—which means he’ll stop feeling sadness. She also knows Viktor doesn’t regret it. And that’s it. That’s ALL we get. And it’s the same scene they showed in the teaser, nothing new.
Then it immediately switches to Vander and his memories. I get that they’re drawing parallels—both are transforming into their ‘final forms.’ But Vander already had his moment in Remember Me, so I really thought Viktor would take center stage in The Line.
Personally, I would’ve added a couple more minutes, maybe a scene of Viktor and Sky as kids playing together to give Sky’s character more weight. Another of Viktor and Jayce when they became colleagues or were working together. And maybe one of his parents. His parents loved him, and I feel like they didn’t give that enough attention, unlike all the other characters and their parents. It’s canon that his parents bought him a uniform for his birthday so he could attend the academy, yet we never get any info about them. I get that adding this would be extra production costs, but even a single image would’ve been enough.
Finally, maybe a shot of the three of them working together or Viktor and Jayce with Sky in the background. But no. The song feels so empty when you consider EVERYTHING Viktor went through with Sky during those 3–6 months they were together or all the time he spent with Jayce, his bestie.
This makes me wonder if Sky was just a figment of Viktor’s imagination, which is why he could let go of her so coldly. I know he barely shows affection to others, he was taking her hands and his eyes were tilting, but I felt they could have made it more emotional.
And on top of that, they cut the most beautiful parts of the song.
Completely wasted potential (just my opinion).
#arcane#viktor#arcane viktor#viktor arcane#arcane sky#arcane netflix#arcane spoilers#arcane series#arcane season 2#sky young#skyvik#viktor x sky#arcane s2
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all-night pharmacy.
dialogue prompts from all-night pharmacy by ruth madievsky.
you're so alive, it's scary.
being a person doesn't come naturally for me.
what's the deal with this place?
you are my best and my worst friend.
are we horrible people?
i like the idea of having someone to come home to.
i can't tell if you're being cruel or if you're just dumb.
these aren't the decisions of a well-adjusted person.
the less you know about my life, the better.
everyone here is a liar and a cheat.
you deserve to have a life of your own.
a person can't be held responsible for what they don't know.
all relationships are transactional.
no one should have that much power over you.
it isn't too late to come back.
you're uninvited from my birthday party.
i love you, but you're such a cunt.
who do you think you are?
forced intimacy makes me lightheaded.
i know you're in there. let me in.
jesus. why do you have a knife?
what happened last night?
it was less embarrassing to pretend i didn't care.
maybe i'm not the mothering type.
i wish i could carry some of this pain for you.
i need a break from feeling so much all the time.
sometimes i can't tell if i'm asleep or awake.
whatever's going on, we'll figure it out.
i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm scared all the time.
this is the most i can imagine for myself.
if you're not asking yourself 'am i ruining my life?' at least once a day, you're not living at all.
you act like you're over it, but it's okay if you're not.
all my life, i've felt like a dead animal with its skin still on.
it's a virtue to rid yourself of anything that doesn't serve you.
i've never had a day of rest in my life.
i chase after you like a dog, leaving pieces of myself behind, and every time, you act like that's how it's supposed to be.
you don't take me seriously. i'm not a real person to you.
i can't play house anymore.
never say that name in front of me.
to you, other people are always the problem.
you can't reach a mutual understanding without spilling blood.
want to make fifty bucks?
the only way to really see a person is to lose everything you have in common.
you don't think we'll get caught?
our loyalty is to story, not reality.
just don't do anything that could result in a lawsuit or a tmz article, and you're fine.
i don't have the energy to keep up with your antics.
our most beloved delusion was that lying to each other was a kind of love.
speaking our fears aloud won't save us.
one day, the mask slipped. i haven't been able to wear it since.
i try not to think about my life at all.
a junkie can spot another junkie without a flashlight.
your voice reminds me of wool sweaters.
boundaries? i don't know her.
i'm just sick of doing the same goddamn thing every day.
you are obsessed with a projection that will never love you back.
think of me as a spiritually connected friend.
i know liars. you don't strike me as one.
you have iconically poor judgment.
has anyone ever told you about your past lives?
you're capable of tolerating a lot. frankly, more than you should.
friendship can be a slow burn. you don't have to consume it like a drink at last call.
i'll give you a clue. i work for myself.
you make me want to feel things again.
criticism is still a cousin of attention.
you don't have to pretend to like something just because i made it.
i know you crave being told what to do.
you don't have to settle for being a person things happen to.
you have desires. act on them.
bitch, does this look like an intro to philosophy seminar?
i thought i had quit you.
my favorite. how did you know?
i feel like my organs are cannibalizing each other.
how did i get here? that's not a rhetorical question. i'm actually asking.
i can't tell if i believe it, or if i'm making excuses for myself.
sometimes i wonder if it's healthy how much meaning you see in things.
you're always waiting for the universe to hurt you or to love you. usually in that order.
that's how it was in my family. reading the room was a survival skill.
where will all the animals go in the rapture?
a bunch of fuckups under one roof doesn't constitute a family.
my little saint.
time passes more slowly as a sober person.
you'd better not pull away from me now.
there's a russian proverb that goes, 'so much is ruined by saying it aloud'.
you wear your emotions like a name tag.
your resting face frightens me.
how are you both the most innocent and the most experienced person i've ever met?
i need you to just be here with me.
our dead deserve to see you happy.
i like the idea of being marked by you.
i don't know what i saw, but it was more than i wanted.
i know what i saw.
i can't tell which of the memories are real, if any.
i can't believe you're mine.
nobody warned me how terrifying it is to get what you want.
you're cute when you're freaked out.
sex is supposed to be unsettling.
there are things i need to atone for.
you can't go back like it's nothing.
i won't live in service of my dead's vision for me.
___ was a real person. a murder isn't a metaphor.
count five things you can see. four things you can touch. three things you can hear. two things you can smell. one thing you can taste.
banish one god, and you'll end up worshiping another.
i want to be with you, but i don't want to keep feeling like this.
you know everything about me, but you won't let me know you.
you aren't someone i can keep at a distance.
i've been reading about intergenerational curses.
resisting something isn't the same as not wanting it.
anything you say stays between us.
i can't decide if i like you.
most people only possess a third of the empathy they think they have.
will it get easier?
hope is a tricky thing: losing it is bad, but so is having too much.
i don't want the future to come. i have a bad feeling about it.
in cartoons, you don't start falling until you look down.
why are you here? where have you been?
how did you know i'd come looking for you?
you never asked what i was going through. you didn't want to know.
i didn't have the language for what was happening to me.
you were supposed to protect me.
there's a lot i don't remember. a lot i don't want to remember.
i wouldn't have looked for me, either.
we belong to ourselves now.
you know where i am, and i know where you are. maybe that's enough.
when i'm down, vigilante justice makes me feel better.
survival is provisional.
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I'm very...intrigued by a lot of ships. I broke the adult circle down by color so it's easier to read and maybe some explanations along the way below the cut. Oh btw the ships with purple w/hints of yellow just means I find them interesting to disect like lab creatures more than "uwu they're so cute!!!" like how I am with other ships fyi
Ok here, I'll try to explain why I ship/am intrugied by some of the more..rarer pair ones here!
First up: Kiddos
Joe x Christina- I don't know I just thought it would be cute, especially with how sour Joe is and how especially sweet Christina is :)
Doughy x Christina- I like this both genuniely and for angst. Genuniely, I like the idea of Doughy comforting Christina. Angst, if after nature Orel did die, I like to think Doughy would subconsciously get w/Christina afterwards to replace him. Or *want* to date Orel, but can't cuz yk moralton and gay ppl don't mix well so he dates Christina as a substitute. Also I like the idea of Christina meeting Doughy for the first time and being like "woa...Orel, who's your friend? he's cute.." gkjlbkjgjbk
Marionetta x Christina- I honestly have no clue why I think they're just cute together...
Tommy x Doughy- They could comfort each other on how they both feel dumb and insignificant and can make each other feel seen!! :]
Tommy x Orel- Idk I like the idea of them hanging out more after God's Blunders and the more time they spend together the closer they feel and the more Orel subconsciously realizes Tommy isn't as dumb as he seems, especially when he starts infodumping about space and science and stuff
Orel x Billy- Idk I like the idea of Orel helping Billy out with the family business after the whole God's Image fiasco to help and apologize! :)
Doughy x Joe- I think they would be interesting together to say the least since Doughy is a complete tool and in the first ep with Joe, he wrecks Karl's car lol. Idk. It would be interesting.Joe x Tommy- Enemies to lovers arc me thinks because I headcanon they wouldn't like each other due to the fact that I think Tommy hates Joe because he reminds him of how mean he was when he was little and Joe hates Tommy because I headcanon that Joe was a lot nicer when he was little, so he hates Tommy for similar reasons. But I dunno..they get closer cuz they're in the same friend group and Joe stops picking on him as much..
Now onto the clusterfuck of the adults!!
Like:
Rod Putty x Mr. Cartsen- I headcanon that these two were college buddies n did a lot of gay shit together. Never officially got together but eh. Oo maybe Mr. Cartsen was Rev's comedy partner he was talking about in that one [AS] sermon abt homosexuality! :D
Love:
Miss Censordoll x Bloberta- Mommy issues go brrr nah but fr idk something about how they are in Help really really speaks to me, Miss Censordoll would manipulate Bloberta in a similar way to Clay since they both have mommy issues methinks.. Miss Censordoll x Mr. Cartsen- Another one based in headcanon!! In my headcanon, after college n all that shit Mr. Cartsen starts hanging out with Miss Censordoll a lot more at the library and eventually takes a part-time job there just to hang out with her and start complimenting her n stuff and, deep, deep down she's very flattered. She loves to pull that tie of his! X)
Intrugied(the longest, probably): oh boy here we go...
Nurse Bendy x Miss Censordoll- Idk why but I think their dynamic could be interesting. no clue why really.
Miss Censordoll x Millie Fakey- did yall SEE how she fucking petted Millie's fake in Help?? There's something going on...
Millie Fakey x Kim Latchkey- Idk I think Kim could help raise Millie's confidence if she wanted to! Although I doubt she would be a good gf if Stephaine is anything to go by...
Kim Latchkey x Roger Papermouth- That man needs a girlboss, and here Kim is!
Art x Poppit- I'm more just curious more than anything on how and if their relationship would be better or worse than Clay and Bloberta's. I assume the same but idk I'm curious
Roger Papermouth x Principal Fakey- I am very curious on how Principal Fakey would handle having an affair w/Roger Papermouth since yk he's a guy and all but Fakey is also really realllyyy desperate probably after Nurse Bendy stands up for herself and leaves him and he doesn't like that so he goes after somebody else that's more easily manipulated, that just so happens to be a guy named Roger. Roger probably doesn't mind too too much, other than being a cop n all and wondering if he would have to arrest himself lol
Poppit Posabule x Stephaine- Just a vibe that Poppit is NAWT straight (I mean I don't think Bloberta is either but I get stronger vibes from Poppit for some reason) ...and maybe Stephaine is the reason, like a girl next door typa thing. Comes into Buried Pleasures just to see her n all.
Stephaine x Bloberta- Similar thing but Bloberta is way less bold. Stephaine comes by to like idk bring Orel somewhere and Bloberta wants to talk to Stephaine before because she does care a little about Orel, plus Stephaine is pierced up and yk how judgy ppl are in Moralton. So she talks to her and she gets a strange..warmness in her chest. Never acknowledges though. Again very girl next door or look but not touch.
Stephaine x Miss Censordoll- Idk the way she called Miss Censordoll a bitch in one of the promos just did something to my neurons. I like the idea of them. 2 girlbosses girlbossing, if you will.
Roger Papermouth x Clay Puppington- Idk I like the fact that Clay took off his hat and put it on during Sacrifice. It's cute.
Roger Papermouth x Dottie Trophywife- If you can't get with your ex-friend's current crush, then why not get with your ex-friend's ex-husband! Again, Roger needs a girlboss to put him in line IMO and Dottie certainly does that, she plays him like a fiddle. She has fun.
Art Posabule x Danielle Stopframe- I'm curious as to whether Danielle would start to notice Art after Honor and would start dating him only because he looks exactly like Art and he might be a bit better of a person. It would feel like a suckerpunch in the gut if Clay ever found out about them tho lol
Poppit Posabule x Danielle Stopframe- Just curious on how they would play out, would they work better or worse than Danielle and Bloberta?
Reverend Putty x Bloberta Puppington- That one scene from Numb. Must I say more?
Reverend Putty x Miss Censordoll- I feel like Miss Censordoll scares the shit out of Reverend Putty and she uses that to her advantage. She puts the malewife in his place lol
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I think I'm going to make a temperature blanket this year
#generally people would plan for this earlier. but. I only JUST thought of it last night#I'm considering like a mood blanket / mental health blanket or whatev instead. one of those alternate concepts#but I FEEL LIKE categorizing my mood / mental health day by day would do something to me#and I don't really want to tell on myself that hard. showing off the finished blanket and ppl going oohh... there's a lot of this color!#what mood are these two colors for!#and i'm gonna have to crumple up my color key chart and eat it before they can find out#idk maybe I'll still try that way. but temperature just feels more like. yeaahahhhhh go with the flow buddy#I bought a ton of yarn recently bc there was a black friday sale and I was grabbin skeins for $2 so I shouldn't really need to do shopping#maybe pick up another color or two. but I can probably just bust out my own stash I already have#sergle.txt#crochetposting
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been playing pathologic throughout the summer and i've enjoyed it a lot and im currently on the changeling campaign and I heard a lot of people say the changeling route is underwhelming and weak but honestly i think it's been really great so far and I think it has tons of depth and I find Clara very interesting Idk im on day 8 of the campaign I feel like I have more thoughts on this route then the haruspex campaign. Perhaps its partly because Clara's subject matter appeals to me a lot but I think it's amazing It's this tragic story about a little girl who so badly wants to be good and do good. She wants to be love and accepted and find her place in the world with all the anxiety she has over her unsureness on her identity and the strange circumstances of her existence. It's about the Saburovs playing this pretend, toxic, nuclear family structure with her. Where a part of them does care about and love her but for selfish reasons. They project their insecurities on her, both of them. They want her to be their salvation and be their key to finally helping the town as they feel they're failures and frauds in that pursuit. So they pressure, love bomb, and abuse their daughter to fit this mold. And Clara is scared but she follows anyway desperate for love. And even without realizing it she's mimicking their teachings and values because It's all she's been given in this world. The only source of guidance It's about Clara and her relationship to the people around her. How she feels sympathy for her bound because she sees herself in them. Because she sees they're people with dimensions and are complicated. And she wants someone to see and grant her mercy and forgiveness as well. And it's so interesting to compare this to her interactions with Daniil and Artemy. Who she's also very similar with but demonizes them. (which I don't think is unjustified btw as they're very horrible to her. But I want to note that while the healers always had some tension between them this route has definitely cranked it up a ton and in the opening play Clara is the one criticizing them for being heartless, selfish, and "not knowing compassion" right off the bat. And even in the few times Artemy and Daniil can have pleasant exchanges with her it's short lived and never sticks with her) And she goes the extra mile to demonize them and deny and dismiss any complexity they might have as she also sees herself in them but doesn't want to admit it. Because it's what she doesn't want to be. It hurts too personally for her to associate with them and makes her feel pathetic even thinking she could be similar to them because she doesn't want to share their loneliness, their struggles, their failures. It makes her feel more stable in her identity to put them down and go "Well at least I'm not like those bloodthirsty horrible useless doctors" And While Clara also feels dislike towards Maria. Maria is someone Clara wants to be. She wants to be that beloved and powerful mistress. Someone who can guide and help others and use her power for good. Which is why she'll say "Her and Capella will be the only ones to understand my loneliness." Clara wants someone to understand her pain but only if she can protect this idealized image of herself she's painted in her mind because she's been hurt too much. It's a tragic story of the unrealistic and harsh standards placed on young teenage girls. And the idea that perhaps humanity is the problem. But taking that message in a rather conservative and violent way then one that acknowledges the complexity and indoctrination society and people have built. A young girl internalizing beliefs of irredeemable ontologically evil people due to all the abuse she's been put under.
#I have so many thoughts on both Katerina and Saburov to I think they're amazing love them#idk i think this entire route just has a lot of depth. It was really nice to jump into after being a *bit* disappointed with the haruspex#route even if i think the campaign was good#maybe i'll elaborate when another time its just i do understand what the campaign was going for and think its good I just don't feel like i#gave me as much to chew on as this campaign or the bachelor one#also idk if this is an unpopular opinion but the haruspex campaign is not that hard#anyways CLARA I love Clara#pathologic#pathologic classic hd#clara saburova#Evie.txt
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unusual face post where i don't bring up caname marriage. all of their gangstalia childhood photos have been shown! i've been very captivated by their answers
the question is virtually the same for each of them with different wordings. here lord and owner have a goal for their future. between a distinguished admirable grown up and a welcoming hotel runner. meanwhile hero and parrain's answer are like. so vague. [(i?) can be anything] and [(be?) me] makes me laugh. what are these kids even saying? such blatant different personality dynamics. i actually don't have any coherent words i just point at a difference and go wowwww coool(keys jingling in front of me). but really. how sweet!!! the different similar answers
#kill ame#gangstalia#i've heard lots of interpretation on ame's answer being#kind of petulant. i don't know if thats the right word but. mostly because he interrupted the interviewer asking#and because of the “what do you want me to say?” right before it#dismissive towards adults#and maybe to the thought of adulthood here? he can be anything he wants~#some interps see it as him being annoyed. a little fed up. sure i'll play by you... grown-up's demands...#i'm open to whatever goes honestly... hero is kind of an enigma right now. i love him dearly#refusal to give a “proper” answer to an interview could probably be seen as rude.(i don't think interviewers would mind much tho)#so hero and parrain here is a point of interest for me#and on another point!!! frus has captivated me before and now especially so with them both having to do with immortality interacting with#-humans who they care for who died#i don't angst over davie too much because it feels more like just one example. but that's frus's commonalityyyy (^_^)#and today it pops up again! their answers feel almost romantic to me. maybe less so for hero because(like i said before)...#but it's like a musing thought. i can be anything. i'd be me. what funny kids#the face family dynamic isn't a thing here but it's funny to think about with this. unexpected on who feels similar to who
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"Is that a complaint I hear?" The playful gleam in her eyes in plain view as she looked at him. "And, here I thought you liked it when I don't behave." Her laugh rung out from her chest, no disagreeing there. Babygirl was indeed their proof. “She’s going to have so much family, she won’t even know where to start. Plus, her first cousin too. Imagine if they're also best friends." Like her and Juju. Hopeful, maybe. "Well, considering the badge is collecting dust somewhere on my desk, we'd be out of luck. So, no sexy rebel for you."
His question made her head turn quickly to look at him. Had she not mentioned that earlier? And, just like that, she was caressing the side of his face, her fingertips brushing against the scruff. "One hundred percent, two hundred percent even. Way too sexy, honestly it's a shock that you leave the house looking like this." Because, truly, Laurel surprised herself for letting him go each day. "With those bright eyes," her fingertips brushing his brow ridge. "Hm, and this scruff you have going. Your soft smile too. That's been sexy from day one." Laurel knew how much he liked details, and eagerly, she provided. She only nodded in response, feeling more confident in this situation's eventual resolution. It was a given that Isaac had a lot on his plate with his ex looming and Nettie's safety being compromised. That's also why she knew that pushing him now about something that happened some time ago probably wouldn't garner the best reaction. But, Eli and Isaac had been through a lot together, that much she knew. Laurel listened to the full name, how easily it flowed from his lips. Rosaline Phillips Thorn. It sounded beautiful, it fit perfectly. "It does...yes, I agree. I love it." If she wasn't so comfortable here, she could've jumped in the air with excitement. "And, she keeps her Rosebud nickname? Double bonus. Only took us this many months," she teased, knowing they had exhausted every other name book. Laurel laughed completely amused as the sight was drawn in her mind. Eli arm wrestling Juju for it, because no way she was giving up that name. "Right? It would go with our names too. Hm, you arm wrestle Juju, and I'll take Aaron," words said in between laughs, how silly it sounded.
"True, it's okay. I'm not in a rush to tell them. I like that it's just between us." Much like their promise to be life partners, before marriage even came to mind. "I'm sure the time will come up. You're giving me the convincing job? Oh, tough one." Though, perhaps less impossible. Emma had asked a few questions about how they like living here, though she hadn't mentioned to him yet. "Rosebud might be the extra push they need to move, especially now that Isaac is also settling into Texas more permanently. I think you guys would love to have them closer to home. Yes, let's bring it up casually and see what they think."
Her eyes might've been sparkling thinking of the soft tiramisu from that restaurant. But, she was definitely getting sidetracked, so Laurel shook her head and brought her attention back to him. Though, another opportunity for distraction presented itself. Words failed her as he licked the cinnamon sugar from his lips, that wasn't fair. "Huh? Oh, yes the phone number." She took his phone, and her smile instantly widened. His background, their picture from the pier. Seemed like forever ago. Quickly unlocking his phone, she smiled triumphantly. "Yup, you have the number right here. Okay, I'll give them a call. Do you think eight o'clock is okay?"
Laurel glanced down to the small piece of churro, "yeah I think I'm done." His yawn did not go unnoticed, leaning against his head slightly. "It's been a long day babe, makes sense. I'm glad too, because you need to rest. Maybe an early night for us, after dinner? I'm sure Emma has tons of plans already for tomorrow, so we'll need the extra sleep."
With that, she pressed the dial button and brought his phone to her ear to make the dinner reservation for five. Requesting a table outdoors, enjoying the Texas warmth while they still had it. "Okay, we're all confirmed. Should we go see what your siblings are up to?"
"When?" Eli asked on the verge of a laughing fit. "Have you ever behaved? Pretty sure baby girl there is proof neither of us can behave." True in their nature there were more moments where they misbehaved than actually behaved and that made him laugh. "One thing is for sure she won't be alone." Whether that was because of found cousins or not their daughter was not going to know what it was like not to feel loved. "The badge? Oh you're a sexy rebel. Let's keep your record untouched. Don't want our kid to judge you."
And I love you would never get old. He would always love hearing it come from her. The way she loved him even down to the fragments made him feel lucky that she had stuck around for the ups and downs. "Has it made me sexier though," he asked, a playful smile gracing his lips. "Thanks for the vote of confidence baby." He'd forgive Issac he knew it. Laurel knew it and deep down even Issac knew it. Their bond was just too strong to be broken by a deep misunderstanding. The guy saw past the nerdy comic book era and still welcomed him into his space. That would never not count for something. Rosaline made his head turn to her and a soft smile flashed across his features. "Rosaline Phillips Thorn." He liked the name and how well it flowed. A wide grin overtook him as he laughed. "I think that's it. That's her name. Nickname we can keep as Rosebud. But oh my god we did it. She's not nameless anymore." He made a zipped lip gesture and nodded as he waited for her to drop the name and once he heard it he smiled. "Aurora. Well hot damn I like that one too. Do you think we can arm wrestle her for it?" Eli teased knowing full well he was wise not to fuck with juju.
"Things keep getting in the way , but it also wouldn't be us if our good news didn't keep being sidelined one way or another. We'll tell them before they leave. Maybe you can convince them to stay and move." Wishful thinking on his part but also not impossible. With a niece on the way, Inez and Emma would have an excuse to not be so far away. "I do think so. Isa would have his entire family in one place and he wouldn't have to travel back and forth. I'd love them to be closer. Maybe we can float the idea at dinner with them?"
He tried to hide his smile as she got sidetracked with the tiramisu, a regular occurrence the last few months. His sleeve covered his knowing smile as he took a bite of his churro and licked the cinnamon off his lips. "I may have the number on my phone," he made his voice level as he passed her his phone for her to look at. The screen lighting up and showing off a silly picture of themselves at the pier. He had promised he'd change it but he still hadn't gotten around to it. The pass code he knew she knew as it combined all their favorite numbers.
"Are you done with this piece?" he asked as he chewed his own and covered a yawn. "Who would have thought this outing would make me sleepy. Glad I have the day off tomorrow. I don't think I have the energy to be work me walking around at the station."
#this was so so beautiful...their fluff is everything to me#they took their time but it was worth it!! 😂😂#lally cloud means the world to me
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Shortly after Madoka Magica released (to great success), everyone started trying to make the next big "magical girl misery" anime. I think the reason those ones didn't really take off is because they missed the point of Madoka: the love of others and self-sacrifice is center stage, and we only really feel bad for the characters of Madoka Magica because we see them happy.
Madoka Magica isn't just a misery fest; Mami's death matters because we understand Mami's dreams and struggles, Sayaka becoming Oktavia is impactful because we see her downfall that isn't her fault (or anyone's for that matter). Madoka (and to a secondary extent, Homura) never give up hope or trying.
Madoka isn't constantly victimised and abused (unlike some over-the-top edgy magical girl animes I know) she's in tragic circumstances and still tries her best; still WANTS the best for the world around her.
Making something sad isn't about how much we see a character suffer and struggle; it's about making the struggles and suffering they go through impactful through their story. Wants, relationships, traits, and flaws... That's what makes a character's pain painful for an audience.
#mahou shoujo madoka magica#madoka magica#puella magi madoka magica#magical girl#madoka kaname#pmmm homura#pmmm madoka#homura akemi#pmmm sayaka#sayaka miki#mami tomoe#mami pmmm#I like “edgy” media in the sense I like media that makes me truly feel for the pains of the characters#a non-stop torture fest feels so cheap and disengenuine to me#it's hard to find good media that balances “misery” and “lightness”#filler and downtime is necessary to making an audience connect with characters#I don't (just) mean “beach episodes” but general moments of calm between painful circumstances#this applies everything that tries to be “dark”#watching a character suffers only really feels bad when they get time to be a character and have joy in their life#this is kinda a rant but I'm sick of mindless edgefests and people (producers + consumers) entirely missing the point of effective misery#I made a typo in one of the tags but it's far to late to fix#wyfy's meltdowns#I have a lot of thoughts about writing dark subject matter and misery but I'll post about that another time (maybe)#pmmm
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Thinking again about my plans for Vash and Knives in ITNL
Which I can't really get into the specifics for How I'm going to do things w/o going into spoiler territory. But I Do have Vash & Knives tagged on the fic for a reason. I set up in the first chapter that Vash is determined to try to save Knives too.
Which. That choice, as well as the entire basis for all of this, depends so much on that final fight in trimax. The one that was literally a scene away from where ITNL Vash went back in time. His mentality just a hair's width away from that...
At the end of trimax, there was reconciliation, however brief and incomplete it was. In ITNL, my question to myself was How could I induce that again? Under different circumstances, How Else could we get there? And that is the long-game in ITNL.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#i say reconciliation instead of redemption. because i think redemption is a difficult thing to capture well.#and it would require Knives to feel remorse or regret for his actions. which i dont think he would really.#but. potentially. if the stars align. maybe his goals can be redirected into something productive.#and maybe reconciliation can be achieved. just maybe.#the redirection here is important bc i dont think Knives would abandon his ideals Even If Vash got thru to him#but the key is convincing him that theres another way. that he can protect the plants w/o killing humanity.#easier said than done though. vash and knives are two peas in a pod after all. so incredibly stubborn.#but vash would want to try. because he Doesnt want to kill anyone. not even knives. though if it ended up necessary.....#well. better to try for reconciliation first. that one's as a last resort lol.#ultimately vash Does miss his brother. we see this at the end of trimax. that's the crux of that moment i think. for both of them.#realizing that once upon a time they only had each other. they were Brothers. they were Close. and they both Miss That.#those feelings were buried under miles of anger and resentment on both sides. but under the right circumstances.....#thats why it's important that ITNL was a hair's width away from that scene. bc he was on the verge of having that realization himself.#i replaced that moment with ITNL vash feeling thru the plant conglomerate the whole of knives' self. and his Realization.#the Knowledge that the brother he used to love is still in there somewhere. but he also wouldnt be able to survive this.#and thus his about-turn from 'nothing remained of the brother he loved. he had to stop him.' to 'i'm sorry. i'll save you too.'#hfalhxksd ultimately it's all so FINICKY and ive barely touched on it so far in ITNL. bc Knives has been off in the goop tube or whatever#but ive given it a Lot of thought. and id be so close to Getting There... to the next steps at least... if i kept writing.#hrrgmg. i am Thinking Thoughts...
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everything about me is about my general disconnect with the world around me, except being Objectum which is about being Alive.
#sorry I wrote a whole rant!!! and then this sentence popped into my head and I was like. Oh that can be the whole post actually asdfjdssdj#I Have Always Been Objectum. I think about that. a lot#like yeah you could argue I've always been aroace as well with my history but I thought it was lesbianism for such a long time.#but being aroace is more about absence of feelings which feels different from presence of feelings believe it or not dshdshd#it's. real nice and reassuring that I can look at back at so many of my memories and link them back to just Being Objectum#...I do think it's maybe why I'm having trouble with this gender stuff. because I have nothing to say I've always been one or another way#identity is fluid and Sometimes Things Just Change I do know that but it's. scary a little bit#yada yada I still feel like I'm lying somehow we've been through this before hdhsddsh#i'll get somewhere with this one day maybe#objectum#android.txt
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it's kind of weird to me that they didn't bother releasing sushi and tempura internationally at all but at the same time i'm kinda glad they didn't cuz like. yo-kai watch was financially failing in the west by the time 3 released. i feel like if they had released sushi and tempura the franchise would've completely tanked before we got sukiyaki which would've sucked. honestly if anything i feel like it's more surprising that we got all three versions of 2 instead of them just releasing psychic specters but tbf i think yo-kai watch was doing well in the west when 2 released. 2 is just inexplicably what killed the franchise despite being a masterpiece-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#yw2#idk. i have a lot of thoughts on this stuff#still upset i didn't find out 3 released in america until a while after it did :/ could've gotten a physical copy if i'd found out earlier#but alas. i'm just stuck with a boring digital version. i mean the digital versions of yo-kai watch games are better but like. still#i never got maginyan in blasters even though i could've. the code or whatever was on the receipt but my mom bought it for me#from the nintendo website. and i don't think she checked it and i don't think i found out that was where it was until a bit after i got it-#i did get machonyan and jibanyan t/komasan t's codes entered though so i can get them on any playthrough now#unless i put the sd card in another 3ds since apparently it's system-based instead of sd card based??? which is really stupid#but you can probably bypass that with cfw and i do plan on modding my 3ds eventually#it'll just be a process cuz i don't have an sd card slot on my computer and idk if my moms would be willing to help#so i'll probably have to get a separate sd card reader or whatever. which i do think my moms would be okay with i mean#it's my system and they're cool with piracy lfskdjfjkfsdkljfd-#my moms are so cool <3 i just wish i could get them interested in yo-kai watch but they don't seem to care lfskdjfkjsfdjlksfd-#they determined the battle system doesn't sound fun but i might've just described it badly#i mean tbf. it is very annoying sometimes. especially when my healer just will not heal the other yo-kai#''DO YOUR FUCKING JOB TATTLECAST STOP LOAFING'' -me playing 2#that being said if 1's switch port ever releases in america i am totally playing it on the tv#i WILL force my moms to watch me play funni ghost game whether they like it or not /lh#if we do ever get 1's switch port i hope they make it a collection of some kind with 2 and 3 remasters too i would buy that in a heartbeat#i mean obviously i will buy any american-released yo-kai watch stuff in a heartbeat aside from maaaaaybe y-school heroes#(i'm sorry y-school heroes fans i just cannot get into it. from concept alone it sounds like i would not enjoy it)#maybe sangokushi too if we ever get that but i feel like we probably won't#idk if the franchise it's a crossover with is popular enough in america for that#i hope we get more english yo-kai watch content once ghost craft releases. kinda feel like it's testing the waters tbh#i know it's seemingly just a spiritual successor but still#i do hope that it being a spiritual successor doesn't mean yo-kai watch is over. i doubt that it will since like#punipuni still gets semi-frequent updates
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🙄🫠
#yk when i said i'm back to being active on tumblr well yeah 😅#i had to write a seminar paper for uni and it hasn't been going well because i got sick and didn't get much done#well i got an extension luckily but it still was a struggle the topic was just rly difficult to write about#i'm almost done now at least some 300 words i still have to write and then proofread and work on better formulating but yay#i should get it done today but yeah i'll manage so i'll be back when i'm done the latest tmrw#but seminar papers are for real my least favorite part of uni 😅 it's so time consuming and can be a real struggle ugh#i rather write an exam lmao#but anyway i needed to rant ://#my money got stolen 🙃😫#sometimes life just throws some shit at you ugh#like having to write this paper and not having a social life anymore isn't enougj#i don't know how it happened? i mean i don't know for sure but i can't explain it another way#like the money was in my wallet the day before yesterday and yesterday the whole day i didn't use my wallet qnd then it was gone??#maybe while i was at uni football but that's crazy it was not some public place but in a school gym lockerroom??#or maybe someone stole it from my backpack on the street idk?? but i didn't notice#but that was money i got for my birthday from my dad and aunts 😪#and i wanted to buy something nice with it and ig i will anyway but it sucks :((#it was not a little no i had 150€ in my wallet 😭 at least my credit cards are still there ig#but i realize now how stupid that probably was to carry so much money with but i thought it was safe fr#like i have lived in austria all my life and this never happened to me 😫 and it was not like i was walking around with my wallet openly#i mean i will be fine it would be a lot worse if that happened to someone who is just barely getting by but i'm still upset#and my mom told me that apparently it happened to a friend of her as well when she was in my city but like i never heard that before...#from any of my friends ... or maybe it really is that more dangerous with thieves in my uni city but like i wasn't aware#bc i mean in general austria is like a very safe country comparatively and feels like it never was on my mind#maybe it's horrible bad luck but in the future I will be careful to carry any cash with me 🙃
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It's not a lot, but I've managed to write a few more pages of AWLB part 2 after barely being able to even open the doc it's in lately. I count that as a small, but nonetheless, good, little victory.
#insomniac hyena rambles#I'll get it done eventually#just gotta chip away at it#I'm nervous af about going back into work. but. I have my plan for how to move forward settled nicely in my head too#one way or another. I think it's all gonna work out fine#I feel... oddly optimistic XD;#I think the main thing frustrating me now is well. trying to occasionally poke at reworking my old OCs#I want to make them like. less physically attractive to avoid... certain outcomes#but i swear. every updated sketch I try for most of them they look /more/ “attractive”#I don't want them to be like. not fun for me to play with. but I definitely can't have them on art fight next year where they might see em#without getting really uneasy and worried over a repeat of. things. >.>#but also. maybe WWLWWF AU fic starting before the year ends?#big maybe on that though#I need to figure out like. enough story points and beats to make a real simple outline to guide me#WWLWWF is sorta. more of just a feeling it out. vibes. etc kinda feeling story to me#but I still want it to be more than just a collection of one shots#something with a story that connects in places and bounces along the beats of the chapters and scenes#but is sorta just. soft. characters interacting. learning their lives from little pieces as you go kinda thing#I have a lot of thoughts on WWLWWF that don't fully connect into a big picture yet
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Your Weekly TV Guide
On Monday you can expect:
2:30 PM: Solanaceae
And Tuesday:
2:30 PM: Die Anstalt - Psychiatrie für misshandelte Kuscheltiere
Wednesday:
2:30 PM: Star Control II - Helix
Thursday:
2:30 PM: SCII - Helix (blood warning)
Friday:
2:30 PM: SCII - Helix (blood warning)
Saturday:
2:30 PM: SCII - Helix’s Captain Zelnick ♥
Sunday:
2:30 PM: SCII - Helix
Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)
#Weekly TV Guide#Another one that is *probably#I have Most of a week queued up to go but Sunday's is still a bit of a question mark#Hopefully it will be SCII! I have more stuff in the works!#Had a Very busy week that allowed No time for any digital art so :P My poor ideas have had to be back-burnered noooo#Tomorrow would normally be my offline day but I'm making a slight exception since Things Posting Funny lol - one of my behind the scenes!#Glad to finally :)#There's actually a lot of Digital Art posting this week despite not having had the chance to work on any for a bit :0#Definitely three maybe four - depends lol#Oh and Thursday's blood warning is For Realsies - red and lots#Friday's is black and white but still <3#Feels like I've been holding onto or working on some of these ForEver!!! Will be nice to have them up ♪#Hopefully this week will be a Touch more chill and also I'll just - draw more lol#Want to! Need ideas and thoughts and feelings Out of me!
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