#but i just got hit with the ick at my own writing

[blossoms-phan]

guys can someone reassure me that you want to read phan smut

[aliaology]

NOW THAT WE DONT TALK

summary: jack realizes yns music is quite literally a call out, directed towards him, and his brothers egg it on. pt.3

series masterlist

“i called my mom, she said ‘that it was for the best!’ remind myself the more i gave, you’d want me less”

jack could’ve hit his head against the counter ten more times and the song would still be ringing through his ears like a splinter that wouldn’t come out of his hand.

quinns hand made contact with the back of jacks head. “knock it off, jack.”

jack groaned, shoving his head into his arms. he groaned again, this time the noise being muffled due to the his arm. “she wrote a song about me, quinn.”

quinn rolled his eyes. “you don’t know its about you” he told.

jack scoffed, head shooting up. “she literally called me out. the parties, that stupid red sea reference, even the chorus. its so obviously me. and then her newer single that dropped thirty minutes ago?’

quinn shrugged, “could be about trevor”

jack rolled his eyes, “no way in hell, quinn. they never hooked up and her newer one is about some guy hooking up with her later on—“

“you sound obsessed, jack.” quinn told. jack looked down, embarrassed.

“whats jack obsessed with?” trevor asked, walking inside the kitchen. he stole a grape from jack and popped it into his mouth.

“y/n’s song” quinn spoke.

trevor scoffed, “why are you so hung up on it? its just music.” trevor shrugged.

“hes upset because hes getting called out.”

jack groaned again, head hitting the counter.

quinn rolled his eyes again. “you’ve gotta stop doing that dude. listen— she probably made these ages ago and just now got to releasing them.”

trevor popped another grape in his mouth. “not too sure about that, but i know she started writing them when you two broke up.”

luke slowly walks in. “seriously? you guys are torturing the man talking about his ex.”

jack nods, signifying lukes words to be true.. luke goes into the cupboard to grab a plate. “just ignore it.” he shrugged.

trevor snorted. jack sent the boy a glare, causing his laughter to abruptly stop. “how can i just ignore it? shes getting big and her music is everywhere already.” he asked.

quinn gave him a look. “then face it, jack. you can’t keep putting yourself in denial for something you caused.”

jack let out an exasperated groan for the 100th time. “gee, thanks quinn. way to make me feel better.”

“dont start giving him shit, jack.” luke spoke.

jack rolled his eyes. “whatever, im going to my room.” he got up and went for the stairs.

all three boys looked around at each other. silence fell through the room. suddenly, the sliding door opens. “whats going on?” cole asked.

“quinn picked his side of the argument.” trevor spoke, slightly glaring at quinn.

quinn gave one back, “dont act innocent, trevor. you screwed her over too. you and jack need to own up to it and stop cowering like little kids. you are both in your twenties for fucks sake. grow up.”

quinn went off to his room, leaving a wide eyed group of boys behind.

jacks brows furrowed as he listened to the song in his earbuds. his girlfriend napped next to him as he sat up on the bed. he hates to admit it, but he kinda deserved this.

“lets fast forward to three hundred awkward blind dates later. if shes got blue eyes, i will surmise that you’ll probably date her. you dream of my mouth before it called you a lying traitor, you search in every model—“

he stopped the song, taking his earbuds out and tossing them to the floor. he cheated, and now was dating the girl he cheated with. it was sad, really.

fiona, she was a woman who loved money. jack, was a man who loved attention. maybe that’s why they were together. but she wasn’t horrible like people said, right?

quietly, he went to tik tok and made a fake account, that way she knew he didn’t stalk her profile. i mean— she has no idea he even uses it still.

jack searched fionas name up, ultimately clicking on her profile. she had one video up. he clicked on it.

ick ick ick ick

she was lip syncing that really terrible audio that went ‘he chose me, he dont want you. he chose me’ and honestly, jack was appalled.

but before he could open the comments, she started to wake up. he swiped out of the app and deleted it, tossing his phone to the side afterwards.

“hey baby.” he smiled.

now that we dont talk!

tags! @honethatty12 (if u want tags, just ask <3)

[capybonara]

More personal thoughts under a cut

I’m not trying to think about the other day’s rude message but here I am trying to get my thoughts in order. I was vague in my last personal posts because I want to air out my grievances but not in a way that spreads negativity. But for clarity's sake, this message was a private tumblr dm from someone who didn’t follow me. Like, I think they felt they were trying to be helpful, but everything about it screamed "passive aggressive I-know-better-than-you" energy. And the implications it had is what I keep dwelling on; that my characters in my friends comic are/will be terribly written. And I’m like THAT'S MY WORK, THAT’S OUR WORK 😤 and that’s when I spiraled with thoughts like “oh so people who viewed the comic disliked them the whole time? Are my contributions/ideas that bad?”

I've been talking with @semirampant-dwickery and @smackins about this, and how these collaborative projects with zora characters reminded me of CDN. For context, that was a mass effect RP forum I was part of that focused on the lives of OCs. @werewolfsister added this nice response to a comic of mine, and all of this got me thinking about past projects and the kinds of things that worked, did not work, and the troubles we had in the forum.

The basic definition of a collaboration is a project between two or more people to work to create something. Using my own experiences, it was common courtesy to ask others if they were interested in joining in on a project/story. After someone said yes, we started talking about our characters to give each other a basic insight on their personalities, and hopefully we got a rough outline of the idea we wanted to execute and then wrote it out, drew scenes, or both!

The roadblocks I've come across are sometimes characters (and people) don't mesh well. Their ideas might not vibe with mine, and vice versa. As an example, I really enjoyed a lot of slice of life scenarios and many others wanted to do action related plots! And try as we might, a middle ground couldn't be reached so while it was a shame, no harm no foul! The community had mods to keep the peace, so if someone went too far with crossing lines they were given the boot!

You never want problems but at times they happen regardless. One example for myself involved a former writing partner who didn't want to do any work, but they still wanted the rewards of the end game. We talked about developing a ship between characters, but they didn't want to work on the in-between details. Details like first meetings, going out on dates, the realizations, etc. It was difficult to push anything along, and their personal end goal was for our characters to have sex (I guess in accordance to mass effect tradition of “we’ll bang, okay?” haha). I didn't feel comfortable with that and wanted to have the characters build a rapport first. Despite asking questions about their OCs, it usually ended up like this:

“Let’s start with something basic. What’s your characters fav thing to eat” “Your character 😏” “Ew dude cmon” “Lol I dunno, just food”

 which made me go AUGH! 😂😅

So, I started chatting with other forum members who were more than happy to brainstorm and make ideas happen. My character started making friends with other OCs, I joined other threads, but my other writing partner was feeling left out. And I sympathized because I wanted to work on the ship, I wanted them to feel included. Every time we talked though it was like hitting a wall. I was slowly getting the impression they didn't want to write. But they sure didn't complain with the art I drew of their OC! 

There’s a lot of details regarding that experience that's still ick to discuss openly. In the end, they unfortunately got banned for their behavior and it took a while to recover from it.

The happier side was, in time, I began collaborating with other, kinder people again. But after bad experiences I learned how important communication was. My characters got to engage in all kinds of adventures because all people involved were willing to talk. I learned it was important to let others know that I wanted to join something. I couldn't sit in my corner and hope someone noticed me. It was hard, and it still can be now because I'm shy, and bad experiences make me wary to try again. Though later I found out everyone I worked with had the same anxieties so we would discuss how we can help fight those insecurities. @smackins and I would build each other up to make posts because we were so worried we came off as dumb or annoying. And sometimes that's all you need, a little support and the courage to speak up. 

@semirampant-dwickery and I ran into each other by chance via an “in character” argument and his OC challenged mine. Originally, I wasn't going to accept because I was scared and I thought it'd just annoy him. Whenever we talk about it now, he always expresses how happy he was that I accepted his offer to write a thread with our characters meeting. Said meeting ended up being one of my favorites, a lot of improv that included musicals, a hologram room, feasts and a hammer to his OCs face xD

Werewolfsister’ss response to my comic got me waxing sentimental! This method of collaborating is a little different from CDN because it's more art focused but the same process applies. You chat with folks, you work on outlines or do fun improvs on the fly!

The other difference I noticed is how small cameos can turn into stories of their own!  Characters who appeared in her comic regularly are usually because communication continued between people. Some surprise art pieces prompted other people to reply with their own art. Like werewolf’s response said, it's how we ran into each other! I remember a few months back they were asking folks if they had diplomat characters they could include in their comic, and originally I wasn't going to join because of my own anxiety. But I realized nothing ventured, nothing gained, created Kaska and said “here's my submission!”

They later sent me a message asking if the zorca could participate in assisting other characters in a scene, and asked me questions regarding scenarios, and I answered to give an idea of what they could or couldn't do. I was excited for even the smallest role xD so when they asked more questions I gave more answers and ideas! The person who sent their “warning” to me the other day made an assumption my characters were being controlled by her, but everything dealing with them has my hand prints on it as well. Like with my friends on CDN, I offered suggestions, helped when they hit a roadblock and asked if I could contribute with my art!

Thinking on CDN, I know the roadblocks I personally hit was the lack of communication between parties involved. Like with my writing partner who didn't want to help do the work. I ran into others who came and went and the one complaint that stuck out for me was how I formed a “clique” with semirampant-dwickery, but the thing was, I sought their help the most because I knew they were fun and easy to speak with, and they helped me when I hit my own roadblocks. They proved to be a trustworthy and supportive partner! So of course I worked with them often! He’s done so much to write stories to get other members involved. 

I've received messages years later from people who admitted they made assumptions about us, and how anxiety kept them from joining our threads. I still grieve over those missed opportunities at times because I personally thought they were heckin cool! It is what it is though 😔

Because of those experiences and how difficult it can be to organize projects; I want to give werewolfsister praise for their hard work, their positive attitude, and welcoming presence. It's not easy communicating with a number of people, making outlines for the plot, and then drawing a comic where I've literally witnessed you dish out TEN+ PAGES A DAY. And you've been doing this since MAY! It's a lot of things to juggle alone. 

To the casual onlooker, it might look like a simple project with guest appearances she has full control of. But cameos remain cameos unless someone speaks up and offers more info and help. And characters who've had longer appearances were all discussed with her in chats; from permissions, to story outlines and boundaries. I've had the privilege to watch and be part of these discussions 👍 

I kept thinking about disengaging from the zora community, because of how that message had me focusing on the negative. It was one harassment message but honestly that's enough. I know why it came about, and I hate how that kind of negativity made me want to cut off from everything. Wanting to isolate is my knee jerk response because it made me paranoid. Who else am I upsetting? Who else will send more “warnings?” I'm an old millennial, I'm not here to have beef with strangers on the internet.

The paranoia has been an issue for me and that message “cemented” some other worries I had. For example, I made a previous post asking folks if they had characters that played instruments, then tried to clarify if anyone would be okay with their OCs interacting with Cironus. I got a few responses, but the tumblr dm responses I received, however, were details of who not to associate with, along with a fatphobic remark about Cironus. It left me feeling on edge: one wrong move from myself or my character, one piece of art that didn’t depict every detail correctly, and I was guaranteed to set something off.

I understand there are folks who have extremely personal connections to their characters, and I sympathize and respect that. And for the sake of everyone’s mental well being, I’m going to avoid them. Characters carrying that level of weight need complete control by the creator, and collaborating with others by definition means you have to relinquish some of that control. It requires that you retain a modicum of trust that other players are acting in good faith and not out to ruin your character. No one else gives over that control but you.

Collaboration is about trust, communication, and teamwork. CDN thrived when people came together, but if someone didn’t find the idea appealing, they chose to go solo and found other outlets. I came to this community with the hopes of creating stories with others. And if they don’t want that, like it was with the forum, we move on.

I know we can curate our spaces so we are surrounded by the things we enjoy, and choose to be around those who are supportive and understanding, but I’m not feeling very confident about finding more folks to work with. That’s not an invite to say you want to either. I need to think, and writing this helps me think. My original plan was to post about my zorca and Cironus to give what audience that's out there a better idea of my characters. 

As I write this I realize what I’m tired of is having to set things up like I’m preparing for an audition. I just want to draw, I want to include people and make them happy with the things I draw. This is a hobby I’m trying to have fun with. Outside of my friend group, I don’t think I’ve been able to casually share ideas about my characters with other people. I want to be seen, and connect with others. In turn, that usually became a chain of helping others feel seen too.

The negativity makes you feel powerless at times, but we have the ability to build the kind of communities we want. It takes time, it takes people you trust. I don’t want to say “be the change you want to see” because to me it always implied you have to do it alone. And we don’t.  CDN had a set of rules when working with others that allowed the community to last for years, and the one I try to follow the most is don’t be an asshole. Be kind, be respectful, uplift others when you can, and when you take, give back to others as well.

[shreddeddescent]

ugh i do have one more drama bomb for the worst case scenario that is the thing that will actually piss everyone off more than anything else, like the final ick, and thats all to do with like.....ok i said no one is coping well at all right. everyones having trauma sex dreams? about the worst fucking shit in the world? nobodies coped with that well.

this will give everyone an actual ick. and im genuinely really sorry. but if i talk about this and youre still okay and nobody eats me alive, then maybe this whole dumb thing could just be posted and ill just be like "HERE its fine and im sorry"

I’m hoping by now we can understand the nuances of this situation. that this is only happening because the characters have been through the most horrible thing imaginable together. please try to be understanding of that.

cw in general for the usual shit. seriously. dont traumatize yourself to read this. and def dont read it if youre not aware of the rest of this timeline. the nuances are important.

leo and raph have just done something stupid to cope. something thats their choice as a one time thing to get the trauma of the assault and loss of bodily autonomy out of their heads. they do something they consent to. its not a choice they made lightly, its something theyre really ashamed thinking is a good idea. but they decided 'hey. i think I need to choose to be stupid, and i think you have the same idea, cuz at least we can both choose to be stupid together. stupid fucking teenagers who can regret their own choices instead of his, and dad has no say in it. and if he has no say he has no power over us, he doesn’t control us, and i can look at you without thinking of him.'

and then it literally does turn their nightmares around. and they can literally laugh in his nightmare face about it.

and then they go to therapy about it. to make sure theyre okay about it, and they actually seem to be. and i think they actually are. thats why its extra fucked up that they now know big mama took advantage of them. because they thought maybe it was okay after speaking to her and now they have no idea. and theyre pretty ashamed, leo in particular. but also like... it did actually get the cage dreams to stop for them. but that’s why leo got so high, cuz he thinks he finally felt ok and THEN he was proven right when they learn about the egg napping. and now he thinks he’s fucked everything up worse by ever thinking what they did was okay.

thats when the fucking kids show up to talk.

is everybody.... hhhhhhhh is everybody okay with that. cuz this is genuinely the final missing piece I’m overly censoring the snippets I’m posting about because its happened in the background. but I’m genuinely hoping that since this whole thing is fucked enough already that these little nuances can be respected. its not a thing they're ever doing again. its a thing they did to feel like fucking dumbass teenagers instead of mindless fucking traumatized animals who are trying to raise their little brothers on their own right now.

its not something id post the specifics of. but the before and after of how that happened and how theyre handling it. because its part of the reason they need help.

please dont throw pitchforks, im really just trying to be honest about the effects of this heinous shit. its all coming from a very serious raw place so i hope you can understand. its not something that was added lightly.

and if you understand and respect that, maybe i can just post the story and say fuck it. cuz its a really fucking.... ugh. like this is obviously the 'ive lost my marbles i need a diagnosis' story. i dont need to say that anymore, but maybe some of you need to read a story like this as much as i needed to write it. i dont mean that in a presumptuous way, but more like... i think maybe im hitting a nerve.

im sorry.

[deanscroissant]

Chris Knight headcanon #1

“I saw your recent post about headcanons for Chris Knight, and I adore Real Genius! It's a funny movie movie, I love it. Would you be up to the idea of how Chris would be when you and him are studying together?” ~ Anon

A/N: so sorry it took a while to write. life happened lol. pls be gentle with me because this is my first headcanon. i also kind of went a little overboard so i hope this is okay. thanks for the request! if anyone else want to request then shoot me an ask. tyyyy 😁

okay Chris is an absolute sweetheart

he’ll make sure you have everything you need before studying: water, snacks, sharpened pencils, pens, highlighters, etc.

you do not play when it comes to studying and he knows it, so if he even just so move a muscle to pick up one of those gadgets he’s made then you’ll kick him out of his own dorm

but when he can tell you’re overworking yourself he’ll tell you to stop and take a break

when you would ace a test he’ll throw you a party each time

and when you would do bad on one (the worst you’ve ever gotten was a C) he still throws you a party and pamper you because, as he would say, “to my knowledge, there is no ‘c’ in failure. but i do know ‘Kent’ and ‘failure’ both have an ‘e’.”

you loved how he would cheer you up by just cracking jokes

before finals week approached, chris surprises you by taking you out on a weekend getaway to a concert of your favorite band

“are you kidding me?! these must have cost a fortune!” you gasped as you stared at the tickets in your hand.

“they weren’t when i threatened the guy who i brought them from.”

you giggled and jumped in his arms, “thank you, baby.”

“of course.” he said, smiling as he pulled you closer into him.

he loved making you happy just to see your beautiful smile + you deserved to be happy

you were hit with reality when you got back on campus Sunday night

you were scared as hell for your first final tomorrow and started to regret going on that weekend trip

“chris, do you think it was a good idea to go on that trip when we could have been studying?”

“yeah i think so. we’d probably have fried brains at this point if we did, don’t you think?”

you shrugged, “i guess so.”

“don’t worry, y/n. you got this. if you doubt yourself then you’ll do terrible on the test.”

“that’s what i always do, huh? doubting myself.” you said melancholy as you sat on your bed.

“yeah and you over think.” he squats down to your level, lifting your head up by your chin to look at him. he gently caresses your chin with his thumb. “i took you on the trip for that reason. believe in yourself, y/n…because i believe in you. can you promise me that?”

his viridian-colored eyes stared back into yours waiting for an answer. a moment went by before you smiled at him, “i think that can happen, captain.”

chris jumped up, threw his hand in the air, and yelled a cheerful, “Hell yeah!” before picking you up from the bed—bridal style— spinning you around as you let out a fit of laughter

you were passing your exams left and right all week, and when it came friday for your last exam, you passed that one as well!

when chris heard the news he was so happy for you. and you were happy for him of course, even though you knew he would ace all of his in one day

chris decided to go out to dinner to celebrate finishing the semester with you, along with mitch, jordan, ick, and lazlo.

then you guys went to a carnival and when chris would win anything from a game he would give it to you

“babe, no you deserved this. that was a really hard game.” you told him as you handed it back to him, but only for him to push your hand away.

“no, it’s for you. now come on! i got to win you one more prize for the last exam you passed.” he faked groaned and playfully rolled his eyes before taking your hand in his, smiling cheekily when he heard you laughing behind him.

so yeah even though chris graduates and you have one year left, he’s still gunna be your study buddy and cheering you on until then.

[bluepeachstudios]

im attempting to watch 2003, for ghost, i am. but oh ky god im on the first episode, and i just find everything so ugly?? just like its a major ick for me i cant watch shows with art styles or colours i dislike??? im sorry?? and its just hitting me this is writtrn by millennials… it gets better right? also why is their home so ugly and bland?

honestly no hate against 2003, i havent liked any tmnt except rise, so its probably my fault and my tastes, is this to due to autism)???

This was the 2000s where everyone was going Dark and Gritty style-wise. It becomes more bright and colorful for Fast Forward and Back to the Sewers. They definitely let up on the black shadows as the series progresses.

The first episode, their home just got destroyed. The one they've been living in their whole lives. They're can't back there anymore. :') they've gotta find a new home, and yeah it's a mess when they do find it. They haven't put their own touches into it yet!

As for the writing, I believe almost everyone agrees that 2003 has some of the best plots in the TMNT franchise. If you watch 2003 you'll even see how many little things Rise got from it! (Lookin at you Ninja Tribunal.) Which. Imo Rise did the mystic powers thing way better, but Season 5 was a mess in its own right. Unfortunately Season 5 was supposed to be a finale, but it got short and they were given two more seasons to make Fast Forward, then they said "actually no Fast Forward season 2 we're sending them back to where they were but keep it super high tech" and it just got to be a mess.

But! You only have to watch up through most of season 3 to see what Ghost himself lived through. (Hun on the Run is the last episode Ghost lived, basically.) If you want some more secrets, I'd watch all the way through season 5. Fast Forward and Back to the Sewers aren't as important.

There is a moment in Back to the Sewers when you see what Donny gets like when he's lost someone important to him. It's a good way to see how Ghost was after he'd first fallen into the Rise universe. But otherwise, vibe.

Also like!! If you don't want to watch the show that's perfectly fine too! I think you can honestly get by without watching 2003. Having 2003 as context just makes it hurt a lil worse. :')

[twistedwonderlandobsession]

Hello!! Could I request a match up? :)

I am non binary and use she/they pronouns; I am about 1,65 meters tall (I believe that’s 5‘5 feet?) with long, layered blond hair, very pale skin (like seriously, I am very close to paper white) and greyish-blueish eyes (like a stereotypical German hahaha)

Personality wise, I am ambivert; I absolutely adore Partys, especially village party’s, they hit different, and to hang out with friends a lot, but need an equal amount of alone time to recharge! I tend to usually have a lot of energy, despite always being really tired, and can get easily exited about the littlest things (like seeing a cat, or a store having my favourite snack in shop!) but I’ll admit that I’ll cry just as easily, even over stuff like a sad Poem or seeing a character, even if I don’t necessarily like them, suffer even in the slightest. I try to be the best version of myself that I can be, but I live by two very specific rules: treat others how you want to be treated, and treat others how they treat you. I will treat everybody with kindness and respect when first meeting, if they don’t return the favor, I’ll treat them exactly how they treat me (this includes teachers and old people). I am also very ambitious, I already have my future planned, and do my best to be good in school! I’m not the best with written exams but I always have an A for anything oral :)

I do have depression, because of which I struggle to properly take care of myself, and have days were I cannot even leave my bed, and it makes it hard for me to stay on top of things; my room is almost always a mess and I often have to do homework and similar last minute to avoid my grates falling. It’s not that I enjoy my room being a mess, in fact I hate it, but I am genuinely physically unable to clean it. Because of that, there are days where I’ll cancel last minute or I’ll act down the whole time, because of an especially bad episode; i also have trouble texting people first in fear of annoying them. I almost forgot, I also have insomnia because of it :,)

I also have highly suspected autism(can’t get diagnosed at the moment :[) so I’m very peculiar about my interests and the way stuff is; I hate doing group works because I already have a whole plan in my head on how I wanna do it. While I understand basic sarcasm and jokes, if I’m jokingly insulted or the sarcasm isn’t really obvious, I’ll take it seriously and to heart, and it can make me cry and/or avoid that person. This also means that I can go for hours talking about my interest, but the moment something doesn’t necessarily interest me and I don’t view it as important (like my Spanish lessons) i will just zone out

Hobby’s wise I’m a very creative person! I do paint occasionally, but it isn’t necessarily my hobby of choice;

I love to write! I currently have two books I’m working on, both thriller, that I’ll tell anyone that will listen about

I love acting and dancing: I’ve been apart of a musical group for quite a while now and ADORE it, especially acting!! Can’t say I’m much of a singer tho

Fashion design, I love designing and sewing my own clothes! So far I only know the basics but I am actively trying to learn more!!

Later in life I do want to do one of these full time; wether it is being an actress, an author or a designer doesn’t matter to me.

For icks, I cannot for the live of me be with someone who smokes; I have sensory issues and am sensitive to smells, not to mention I have already lost multiple people to smoking, so it’s an absolute deal breaker. I’m ok with drinking, I drink too, just not excessively

I need someone who is openly affectionate with me, wether through touch or words, and is okay with me being physically affectionate!

Also, please no Lillia, that man is a father figure to me haha

I think that’s it- thanks in advance and sorry for how long this got!!

I match you with Cater Diamond

The First Impression:

Honestly, Carter thought that you were cute your general enthusiasm about even the smallest of things made you super enjoyable.

Why He Fell:

Cater didn't fall for a while, trust, no matter how open or friendly this ginger may appear, there was always a distance he put between everyone. Even the closest of friends weren't all that close to him, knowing next to nothing about his childhood or upbringing. Though you had somehow managed to get beyond all that.

It was your kindness and respect for his boundaries that caused him to fall. Seriously. All of his life, the people around him (aka his sisters) have always forced their interests, likes, lifestyle and more onto him, pushing his boundaries and forcing him to do stuff he didn't want to do so to meet someone who one of their main goals was specifically respecting people was....nice

The Relationship:

When Cater had asked you out he had presented it in a playful lighthearted joking way to mask his way too deep feelings for you- after all how embarrassing would that be if he gave you his heart and soul aka actually expressed his feelings and you said no.

...but apparently you had said yes.

So now here you were, and Cater made sure to make it enjoyable. Constantly sending you magicgram videos of cute couple activities, ans surprisingly, he actually took you to places and did activities with you. The eye color bracelet trend, making cute little pottery together, painting, taking you to the latest trendiest restaurants and cafes on dates, study dates, movie nights, self care nights all the cute couple stuff. He totally gets it when your depression starts acting up and dose his best to help, having self care nights were he will convince you to take a bath with the cutest bath bombs ge you a change of clothes and a towl before gently shoving you into the bathroom and locking the door refusing to let you out till you shower or bathe. Don't think he was just sitting around waiting- oh no. He was cleaning your room for you hoping that it would help you feel better when you get out. Once you came out till fully dressed he sat you down drying your hair and doing your whole skincare routine for you. If you ever are feeling down and don't care for yourself properly cay-cay has you covered.

He loves all your hobbies and would love it if you allow him to watch or do it with you. He is also very encouraging of whatever you want to do as a hobby or a career-

In the beginning of the relationship, he treated it very casually in the "may as well enjoy it while it lasts before they eventually leave" but the further it went and the more time you spent together he was slowly becoming more hopeful and open at the idea of this being a permanent arrangement.

[miss-dollette]

Your fandom rants and icks... finally someone said it. I've been thinking about this lately and couldn't put it into words but you hit the nail on the head. There have been so many things that have recently been in the fandom and/or fanfics that have driven me absolutely insane. I'm never one to be a debbie downer or shit on anyones fun but some things have just made me incredibly uncomfortable recently that I've actively had to go through and block/mute tags or blogs because it's overwhelmed the COD tag. It makes me so sad because it's basically stopped me from engaging in anything at all in relation to COD because I feel bombarded and it's not enjoyable. The biggest thing recently that's bothered me is stories being written that are completely out of character for the COD guys. Like I get that it's fanfiction but seeing stuff written that clearly doesn't match the individual(s) written about feels weird and at that point it's not even the original character anymore so whats the point?? I know some people probably strongly disagree but at a certain point it almost feels disrespectful to the original characters and their stories. It also feels like a way for some weird shit to be fleshed out and, again, to each their own and it's fiction blah blah blah, but for fucks sake. Like literally for. fucks. sake. Like you said, It's like people writing stuff about Ghost that would be completely out of character for someone like him, with all of the trauma and experience that is literally canon to him as a character. Maybe it's because I have a degree in psychology and know people who have been through things that are written/portrayed in COD that it all just doesn't sit right with me... Let's not even get started on having a degree in psychology and seeing things like pedo shit practically glorified, let alone being written about. Holy. Fucking. Shit. There are a few writers that I think truly understand certain characters and write about them in such a beautiful way that it makes me so upset that it gets overshadowed and bogged down by absolutely horrendous things in the tags. I'm so sorry this is so long. I didn't intended to write a whole ass dissertation on this but I'm so happy to see someone else is feeling this way.

Everyone is on my ass for what I said. But to be honest, I don't careeeee. I don't. I really don't. They're real mad but I'm just laughing. I'm just expressing my feelings and having fun doing it. It's funny, cause my post got 100 likes in a day. That's telling something.

You should see the messages im receiving. I don't mind, I love trolling a little.

I said the hard truth, and they can't handle it.

'Preciate your message. Great minds think alike.

If you wanna laugh, check out my responses to these messages. I had fun.

[2frosty4you]

Scorched | Chapter 4

| Ao3 | Wattpad | Masterlist | Fic-Masterlist |

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5

Pairing: Tf2 x Female Reader Words: 1406

Warnings/notes: I write accents, mentions of scars on you, you're being operated on but you arent awake for it, medic tf2.

Chapter 4 | My room

(Y/n) looked at the doctor like he was a madman, and based on the appearance of the room she was in he definitely was one. 

“Huh?” Was the only word she got out before he dramatically drew back curtains to reveal a surgery table, with a large piece of machinery hooked up on the ceiling pointing down at the center of the table. 

“So I can do ze surgery?” He said like she was stupid, and (Y/n) still just looked at the table in disbelief. “Ohh” She nodded like she understood this and looked at him. 

“Wait, like topless?” 

“Ja, I need to access your heart for ze surgery” He then went to the other side of the room to open the cabinet and take out objects and a large blue container. (Y/n) awkwardly stood there and stepped slightly to the side towards the table. ‘okayyy..’ she thought. 

“I can azure you zhat you would have nothing I haven't seen before,” He said, humming to himself and adjusting his glasses. She nodded to his words, her skin was scarred, but she wasn't uncomfortable having them on show. But having to be topless for surgery, she was basically forced to have to stay alive? That gave her many icks. 

“Do I need to be topless?” She asked, Medic now had all his instruments, and he pulled closer to him and placed all those basic things on there, with the addition of a large bone saw. 

“Anyzhing you need on you can keep. Again I need to access zour heart”, (Y/n) hooked her hands under her shirt and took it off, grumbling to herself as she neatly folded it and placed it on the surgery table. Then she hopped up onto it. 

“Vell? Lay down frau” He flicked a switch on the machinery she was looking at before making her look at it in confusion. Medic saw her face and laughed, lightly hitting the machine. 

“Zhis is the Medi Gun, it will keep you alive in battle and keep you living here” He seemed proud to have someone interested in his machinery and the mechanics that keep the team alive. 

“Aight.” (Y/n) mumbled under their breath, she laid down on the cold table. Picking at the scarred skin on their stomach as the medic hummed along a small tune while picking up a small bottle and a needle. (Y/n) tightened their jaw, looking at it. 

“Now, zhankfully for you, we have somezhing so you aren't avake during zhe procedure” He plunged the needle into the bottle’s top and drew out some of the liquid. 

“It's of my own creation, so it’ll vork perfectly” He grinned, placing the bottle down and tapping the side of the needle, letting some of the liquid out to ensure no air bubbles. He grabbed (Y/n)’s arm with more gentleness than she expected from the man. And lifted her forearm closer to him. Pressing down onto the skin, he carefully pressed the needle into her skin, (Y/n) sucked in air at the needle’s intrusion.

 As the drug entered their body (Y/n), they felt a sudden weightlessness and saw a soft red beam connected to her body, soothing the feeling of the needle leaving her skin. She looked at it, slowly blinking as she was fuzzy in her head. The machine make it feel like there was a soft crackling in her ears as she hummed softly, shutting her eyes and falling asleep.

- 

(Y/n) woke slowly, still tired even if she had just been in a medically induced sleep. She rose onto her elbows. Blinking and looking around the room. The red curtains surrounding the table had been drawn shut, and she was now resting on a bed instead of the surgery table. They were about to fall back to sleep before Medic dramatically opened the curtains. 

“Ah! You're avake!” He exclaimed, clapping and walking to the side of the bed. 

“Are you feeling alright? No pain?” 

“Aughh, let me sleep” She raised a hand, waving it in his face, though it didnt make contact as he chuckled at her behaviour. 

“Zhe drug does have a chance to do that to you”, (Y/n) pulled the blanket over her eyes. 

“I'm Sleeping”

“Ja Ja Frau, but you should sleep in zour own bed” She groaned at those words, peaking her eyes out of the blanket. 

“That's too far for me” She muttered, turning away from the German doctor, who shook his head at her actions.

 “Jou really are like Pyro” , He mumbled under his breath, but she clearly heard him. Slowly turning over on the bed to face him, she sat up. He crashed her carefree mood, ruining whatever relaxation she had around him.

 “I, I’m going to my room” She revered her answer and (Y/n) pushed away the blanket. Apparently, he had put her shirt on while also moving her to this other bed.

She moved past him. She didn't want to be compared to this other person, they were dead. What good is that going to get them if people start to compare her with a dead person? What if this person before them was one of those weird people, and she was being compared to them, and they were doing the same things? 

She pushed the door of the room open. The dry air fills her nose and face as the climate between the Medic’s room, and the outside area(What she assumes to be the rest of the base) is dryer and warmer. Just how she likes it. Walking down the same hallway, she came through before this ‘surgery’ and to the dreaded lounge area. But now no one was there. 

No one was at the table, but  only a single piece of paper lay on the table's edge. Clearly, this was meant for her to take.

They walked closer to it, seeing the word written on the top. 

‘(Y/n)’

‘Weird.’ She mumbled, picking up the note.

It was on those really light and flimsy pieces of lined paper. Clearly ripped out of a journal or notebook as the left edge was all torn and messy, it was folded, so the third holding her name was at the top, and the note was securely folded underneath it. (Y/n) looked down at it, then flipped the top piece up and the bottom folded down. The writing was horrible. Almost all of the words were misspelt, and the writing was clearly crooked. Whoever wrote this couldn't do basic English, and neither could they write between the lines.

(Y/n) furrowed her eyebrows and refolded the letter, not reading too far except for a few words of ‘Welcome’, ‘Better not be insane’ and ‘fireproof’. 

Gripping it she walked away, holding it tight enough for it to crease. Now before ‘her’ door, she turned the doorknob and pushed the door. 

’Time to sleep on a skinless mattress.’ She thought, giving a little sarcastic ‘ yayyy’ , until her eyes fell on the room, her bed. It was HER BED . No one's old bed. It was the one from her home. She smiled with glee, and next to the door to her left was a table, not hers, but she'll accept it. 

(Y/n) stepped into the room and looked around. The walls had been repainted a nice cream colour, her bed in the same spot as the older one and her wardrobe in the opposite corner in a nook in the wall clearly for her wardrobe, but next to it was a door she didn't see before. Walking to it she opened it and peered in. 

A BATHROOM??? HER OWN PRIVATE BATHROOM??? 

She was feeling a little better now, knowing she wouldn't have to use the same bathroom as eight other men. She smiled and turned around to see her backpack on the floor. A nice (f/c) backpack that she used to hold all her fireworks and fire starters. (Y/n) clapped in excitement and knelt down, and opened it up. All her babies were in there, the classic firecracker and a few of her own creations. She pulled out blueprints she had been working on before and placed them on the table above the backpack. She zipped it up and stood to her feet. 

She was feeling better, and not even another man could ruin her day. 

Knock, Knock , Knock

‘Fuck’

[thetriggeredhappy]

Was wondering, over here -- what's your favorite type of Scout characterization(s)? I've been in this fandom for almost a decade, and (imo) everyone's got a slightly different spin on him, ranging from "category 5 annoyance, cartoonishly egocentric" to "earnest but afflicted with Early 20s Brain" to anything anywhere in between or beyond that. Got any specific hallmarks you're fond of? Stuff you tend to disregard?

hrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

alright so naturally i’m always the type to drift towards characters who, even as you’re reading them, you can kinda see the lenticular way they can be interpreted. you can tell by the author’s tone how the character interprets themselves, and how they’re interpreted by the viewer, and how they’re interpreted by whoever they’re talking to—three-dimensional, in shortform. with grey areas. sort of taking them outside of their trope and giving them the leeway of, at times, even assuming that the media itself is biased regarding them.

which is how i approach tf2, as well—the medium they exist in is, by virtue of being an absurdist comedy, an unreliable narrator.

so when you posit the stances “scout is like if gaston was wicked annoying and 150 pounds max but didn’t notice” vs “earnest, flawed early 20s dude without a ton of perspective on his life”, as if they’re two ends of the spectrum, my answer is, they don’t have to be.

i’m not a huge stickler on interpretations of characters, to be honest, but i do have a few icks with some interpretations of scout. any interpretation that implies he’s one of those dudes who says things for shock value or for a reaction really irritate me, mostly because there’s nothing in the text of canon that would even remotely imply that. scout wouldn’t say some weird shit about a girl going to make him a sandwich or whatever, he’d draw a picture of spy getting hit by a car and then hand it to spy because they don’t get along. giving scout these weird greasy traits just because at a glance you might characterize him that way in the netflix live-action remake, it just comes across as like. like maybe you don’t know what you’re talking about actually. like, the cheapest easiest possible characterization. the wish dot com characterization.

and i know it might seem a little bit like the pot and kettle on this one since i do take such heavy liberties with the characters, but here’s the thing—my argument isn’t that changing the characters in your fanwork is Bad. that’s all fanwork. that’s all interpretation. my argument is that making tf2 characters weirdly bigoted and filling in weird shock value stuff for no reason is fuckin’ lazy.

it’s much harder, and much more vulnerable, and takes way more time and effort, to try to write these characters with good jokes, or with human personalities, or with actual motivations and thought into their behavior, etc etc. and going “scout says [insert alphabetical list of homophobic slurs], because it’s the 70s lol they hate gay ppl” just tells me you’re not capable of writing well.

that’s not to say i even want scout to necessarily be a good person. i think it’s actually kind of funny that he decided to like, learn manners and etiquette and put on a prom for miss pauling, because having a dude who kills people for money do some cute shit like that is weirdly sweet, in a roundabout way. i think the canon of the text would imply that scout tf2 is kind of a sweet dude. but like, y’know. obviously nobody on the team is mentally or emotionally well. mentally and emotionally sound people don’t die and murder for money. writing scout as particularly egocentric, overly concerned with his own life (either in an anxious way or a narcissistic way), loud mouthed, temperamental, a sore loser, unsportsmanlike, those are all takes i’ve seen that have been really interesting spins of his character.

my favorite traits in him are probably things like him being a hugely impulsive talker, way exaggerative of positive emotions (like whenever he or someone else does some cool shit), maybe a little overdramatic and whiny about the small things, him being dude who will see his friend punch someone across the bar and will sprint over to punch them too, a real ride-or-die guy, kinda stubborn. maybe a little catty sometimes, earnest in a weirdly brave sort of way, clumsy or bad luck or both. dude with a weirdly nonexistent sense of shame or embarrassment except about, like, if he finds out he was wearing his shirt backwards when talking to Miss Pauling or something silly like that. and not even necessarily all of these at once! i just like these characterizations in general, and scout tends to get these ones.

this went on longer than i meant it to, sorry. anyways. scout teamfortress my beloathed

[stranger-rants]

In all honesty, I am kinda exhausted young folks try to make us feel guilty or try to kick us out every fandom because we are older than 25. It is like we can't enjoy or do anything anymore 'cuz it gives them the ick and the need to point out we are "too old for that". As if adults can't have fun or... Have hobbies. GASP.

To the person who wrote the anon about 35+ people writing fanfiction about two teenage boys having sex. You know what we, adults, are tired of? Dumb drama. If you feel scandalized about that, shouldn't you be calling out Suzanne Collins for writing THG? Stephen King for writing IT? Or... I don't know, poor Alice Oseman for writing Heartstopper?

I'm being spiteful now, guys, but I seriously can't wait these people turn 30 and have younger folks telling them they are just too old for anything.

This has been happening quite a lot for the past ten or twenty or maybe more years.

Fans above a certain age, especially women, are alienated even though they've been in fandom since they were young. I've been in fandoms for 20+ years, because I've had access to the internet and fandoms since I was like 10.

Something doesn't magically change when you hit 30 where all fandom content becomes meaningless to you, and a lot of the criticisms especially female fans receive are based on the belief that they should be having families right now - also ridiculous to assume that adults can't have children and maintain fandom interests at the same time.

Who do you think makes the majority of fandom content? Who do you think built up your fandoms? Who do you think writes all the best meta? It's not all young fans, I can tell you that.

Hell, my friend owns a business selling fandom gear and other nerdy crafts and she's got two kids. We were just at a convention last weekend and she sold out of her stuff. These same adults are keeping fandoms alive.

[espithewarlock]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

@duquesademiel making me do words on Tumblr instead of writing fic (love you!!! 😘)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 30 posted, 1 complete in drafts, and [redacted] anonymous 😈

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

according to the stats page, 440k! (but the one I have in drafts will get me over 500k and I'm thinking about doing a giveaway when I hit that milestone?)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Formula 1 RPF!!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I’ve Got a Feeling That I’m Not Complete Anymore, Take Me With You, The Boy With the Storm-Colored Eyes, Another Deep Dive All The Way Down, Croissants in Aub Dhabi

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Very very rarely. I use comments as a metric and adding my own makes it feel like I'm artificially increasing the count. Plus, if I start thanking one person I feel like I have to thank them all and then that spirals out of control. (Not to mention I have so much anxiety over reading comments and sometimes the brain just goes eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I tend to prefer 'angst with a happy ending', but probably Another Window To Break Out from my 1016 week fics.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably With You Around Me It’s Just So Easy To Be In Love. This whole series is just fluff. Everything else tends to have some angst along the way, though I think the series A Nymph's Heart also has a stupidly happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yeah, I got some on I’ve Got a Feeling That I’m Not Complete Anymore, but it's also my most-kudos'd (at least, until I get 3 more on Take Me With You) so I kind-of assume those were anomalies? It definitely sucks that I can't go back and read those comments since I haven't (and won't) delete the bad ones and I know there are lovely people who left me nice comments.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. The sort of smut that has too much exposition, plenty of aftercare, and frequently bondage. There has to be feelings involved with my smut and, in my opinion, that's the best part of the smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope! (I hope...)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Well...technically there's one in-progress but my co-conspirators are too busy and have too many other projects so it's on the back-burner and I'm too shy to ask them if it's ever going to get done but I'm sure it will someday and I'm patient and I don't want to bother them about it and I'm perfectly happy posting my own stuff and...

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

That is so difficult to answer. In F1 RPF it's easily Piarles. I used to read a fuck-ton of Drarry but Harry Potter anything gives me the ick these days, even fanfiction. If I had to pick an All-Time favorite, it's probably SuzaLulu from Code Geass. (Honestly I haven't touched the fandom in years but I might go check what's on AO3 these days hmmmm.....)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'm good about finishing my WIPs...eventually. The good thing for anyone who likes reading my stuff is that I do not post unless it's finished so you'll never have an unfinished work from me!

(That being said, I was writing some [redacted]!Charles and it was hitting a little too close to home so I might not go back to that one...)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Fantasy worldbuilding. I love the setup and introducing a strange new place. Actually probably worldbuilding in general, fantasy or not.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Resolutions. I often *hand wave* over an ending and it's just...yep! everything's good here! all done!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am hopelessly monolingual so I will not. I will use commonly-known endearments (Calamar, mon amour, schatz, etc.) but no actual dialogue.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

You will have to pry that information from my cold, dead hands.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Bittersweet, That Glitter and it's not even fucking close. It's just...everything to me. The world, the characters, the story...it's so fucking good.

I have exactly zero clue who else has answered this already so @golden-fairylights, @hrhgeorgerussell, and @your-littlesecret if y'all haven't and want to play along??

[puppetmasteronastring]

Yes', no's and maybe so's of fic requests

I've already received some questions about possible fic requests. So here is a list of things that i can and cannot do(mostly the things i can't or won't do)

If your specific thought isn't something on these lists, please don't be scared to still hit me up; it's just impossible for me to think about every single scenario right now.

I only write for Bojan/Käärijä, other ships can be mentioned on the side but these two are The Thing™ for me so. Yeah.

YES

fluff. Always and forever. Give it to me

smut. I don't mind getting quite graphic, and i can get into some freaky shit(read the NO list for further guidance)

hurt/comfort. honestly this is my jam, this is how i originally got into fanfiction so give me the ideas for sickfics, or other sorts of bodily harm(again, consult the NO list for more specifics)

NO

minors. as in in i will NOT, under any circumstances, write any character, specially in a sexual context, as a minor. this also covers age-play

water sports. no k!nkshaming here, in the least. just not my jam. this also covers any kind of diaper play or things of that sort

animal cruelty. idk why this would even come up but just in case

major character death. just no. only happy endings here. sorry.

gore. nothing super graphic. Some blood or descriptions of pain etc are fine but i will not write graphic descriptions on gore

x reader/ y/n. again, to each their own, no shame. just not my jam

I refrain the right to alter this list and refuse requests if they happen to hit an ick for me.

Go ham. The askbox is open.

[khodorkovskaya]

30.05.23

i hurt all over after yesterday's workout and the whole day ive been feeling very unmotivated and sluggish. it was the last day of class today, as in the last day ever before graduating. and it made me think about my last day of high school 4 years ago.

i remember feeling like it was all leading up to something. as if, if my life were a novel, this would be the satisfactory yet intriguing conclusion to the story. like "ahh, this is so bitter sweet, our beloved heroine graduated high school, i wonder what's next for her". i remember walking to meet B at a cafe, telling myself that i have to take in and register every moment of this day so that if i do write a novel one day, i can remember every detail.

the weather was weird that day. it varied between light rain and sunshine. it felt heavy. i remember crossing the road next to my house and smelling the flowers.

the reason why i remember that day so clearly is also because of B unfortunately. here's how i wrote about it on here:

he ignored me for three days straight, wouldn't return my calls or answer my messages. i was trying to understand why he was so angry at me and what i had done that was so wrong, but he wouldn't talk. for three days i couldn't contact him and it was unbearably painful. why couldn't he just explain what had made him so angry? i had to somehow figure it out on my own with little to no clues.

did he think that i cheated on him with his friend? did his friend do something that i didn't know about? was it my tone of voice? the way i said it? what had i done that was deserving of a three day punishment?

i couldn't figure out why he didn't want to have a conversation with me. it could have been resolved with a "hey, i didn't like the way you said this because of this and that" and a "sorry" on my end and that's it. but this fucking 30 year old man was too proud to straight up tell me what had hurt his feelings so much. and frankly even now i still don't get it.

so on my last day of high school i went to meet him at a cafe to talk things over and hopefully make up. i was over the moon that i was finally done with high school. but he didn't care of course. he greeted me with a snark face and when i told him how happy i was about being done with high school, he asked if i wanted to talk about what i had done. it brought tears to my eyes and i started appologising, still unable to understand what i was appologising for. "but you have to promise me that you will never ignore me again because it really hurt me," i told him. but spoiler! this wasn't going to be the last time he'd done it. no, it wasn't even the worst time lol. (the worst time was when i was depressed two years later and it made me want to die 😃. he ignored me because he almost got hit by a car and i didn't care enough about it. that's as far as i understood it bc he never explained to me what actually happened.)

so yeah... and i was thinking about that today and it really gave me the ick.

anyway, i surprised my uni bestie with coffee and a pain au chocolat this morning! 🥰

[hellfirenacht]

Chapters 6-10

Chapter 6

This chapter hit hard for me, it was painful to read and made me cry. This is all because of personal reasons. I am a high school drop out, I left school because I was never going to graduate.

Principal Higgins brings Eddie into his office to talk about his future. It’s a conversion I know all too well. Eddie’s not going to graduate this year, and Higgins asks him “Why are you still here?” Eddie is 18, he can leave. Al and Wayne didn’t graduate, why should Eddie be any different? It also implies that having a Hellfire shirt puts a target on everyone’s back and that it’s Eddie’s fault Gareth got beat up.

This chapter broke my heart. It was raw, it was real, and it made me feel seen. I’ve been in Eddie’s seat. Everything that Higgin’s said was said to me either by someone else, or to myself in my darkest moments when I knew I wasn’t gonna make it to the cap and gown.

I don’t really have a breakdown of this chapter of my likes and dislikes. It just hit very hard for me. I won’t say that I like or dislike the chapter. It just made me feel and process something that I hadn’t touched in over a decade.

The chapter ends with Eddie giving Ronnie a ride home.

Chapter 7

I actually feel bad for Paige. I also grew up in a house that had a Hoarder living in the basement. She’s just trying to get her shit together and go home. That detail also hits hard for me. This book is feeling kind of personal, but not in the way I think the fandom expects it to be. I still don’t like Eddie having a crush, but that’s a personal problem, and I know this.

Eddie goes back to the Hideout to find Paige, and he does. They step outside to talk and Eddie asks Paige to sign them. Paige isn’t happy because she’s clearly digging on Eddie and thought he’d be trying to flirt. I can’t blame her tbh.

Let’s be fucking honest here, if Paige was replaced with Reader or Y/N y’all would probably eat this shit up. I would too.

Eddie makes the case that he’s real, he looks poor because he is poor, and that Paige likes his music. Paige talks about how if she’s gonna do this for him, he’s gonna need to make a demo tape, and then fly out to California to audition in person. Eddie is seeing the dollar signs and how much it’s going to cost for the chance to make something out of himself.

Eddie and Paige shake hands, Rock Hero sounds a lot better than Rotten Apple.

Chapter 8

Al Munson is a two faced shit back who gives me the worst Ick I’ve had in a long time. The chapter starts with Eddie and Al at a diner, Al flirts with the waitress and immediately bad mouths the diner as soon as her back is turned. Everyone loves Al. I’m going to give him everything that he’s got coming to him in every fanfic I ever write from now on. Assuming he survives.

Eddie brought him to the diner because he didn’t want to talk at home. It echos my former relationship with my own mother, and the more I read of Eddie the more of myself I see in him. He’s a scared kid, he doesn’t want to do this, but his dad is offering $5k. That’s more than enough to get Corroded Coffin started.

The plan is to basically rob a truck filled with produce that is hiding the weed. It’s dangerous, Eddie doesn’t want to do this. He’s scared out of his goddamn mind because this is real danger. But Higgins got to him, he’s got nothing going for him, and this chance with Corroded Coffin is the only option he feels he has.

Eddie agrees to the heist.

Chapter 9

It’s Dougie’s house that they practice at. Paige shows up on a motorcycle to help Eddie pitch. Everyone ribs on Eddie thinking that Paige is his girlfriend but he brings back the focus and tells them who she is and what she’s willing to do for them.

Everyone’s excited and thrilled at this chance. Everyone except Ronnie who is the only one who’s thinking right now. I can’t blame her for being skeptical, I can’t blame her for being unsure about this. After all, she’s got a full ride scholarship. Does she even want to be a rock star? She doesn’t bring that up, and Eddie convinces her to just give it a shot.

I really like Ronnie tbh. I think she’s a fun character and I would have loved her in the show. Can you IMAGINE the friendship between her and Robin? We were fucking robbed.

Also, unrelated but I used to write songs with a friend in high school for about a year. My friend’s mom worked at the hospital that NERO had his kid in like 2010?. My friend and I put together the jankiest demo on a USB drive for her mom to give to him.

Needless to say, we never heard back about anything. I’m crying and laughing over this, I totally forgot. It’s.... eerie reading all this stuff about Eddie. How fucking real he is. I know this book is divisive, but fuck if this doesn’t feel real. If, for once, I really see myself in a character. I feel seen.

Chapter 10

WE GOT REEFER RICK SHOWING UP LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOO! Rick is a hippie who is only sunshine and smiles. I love him already, how dare they throw him in jail. We’re visiting him because Al’s gonna need a buyer for all that weed.

There’s not much to this chapter. Eddie and Rick play pool while Al tries to convince Rick to buy into $15k worth of weed.

Eddie convinces him by saying that if the people find out, they’ll come after himself and Al and will leave Rick out of it.

Rick agrees.

Flight of Icarus Chapters 1-5

Disclaimer: I’m not even going to pretend that I’m not upset about learning about Eddie’s love life or feeling a sense of jealousy. However, I am going to keep this as neutral as possible. If you think that me having these feelings diminishes any thought I have about the book then you don’t need to read these. 

The first 4.5 chapters I read out loud to my friends, and we had a lovely time until I got drunk and passed out lol

Now, let’s get into it. 

Spoilers for chapters 1-5 under the cut. 

Chapter 1:

The story starts with Eddie killing off Gareths’ character in D&D, which I personally love. We get some insight of the current members, and we now have a name for the previously Unnamed Freak, Dougie. Gareth gets pissy and leaves but Eddie follows him out and says that Gareth is allowed to keep coming to Hellfire and will even help him create a new character. 

We are introduced to Ronnie, Eddie’s aromantic best friend. I like her, she seems cool so far. She’s the current drummer of Corroded Coffin and they have a very sibling-type dynamic. Eddie did try and kiss her when they were 13, but she dodged him. 

This chapter we get a little into Eddie’s relationship with his dad. Al Munson started dropping off the face of the earth on and off from the time Eddie was in third grade, leaving him alone for days at a time before Uncle Wayne realized what was going on and dragged Eddie to live with him during these times. That is where he met Ronnie who lives with her grandma at the trailer park. 

Eddie gives Ronnie a ride home, where she reveals that she got a full ride scholarship to NYU, causing Eddie to break and fishtail and pull over from shock. He wants to be happy for her. Then a cop car pulls up and Office Moore is a huge dick to Eddie for daring to have the last name Munson. This is a regular occurrence. 

The chapter ends with the cop leaving and Eddie taking Ronnie home. 

Things I Liked: 

-Having a name for the unnamed Freak, even if it’s not what I would have picked

-Seeing Eddie interact with Hellfire

-Gareth’s character getting killed off lol

-Ronnie

-Uncle Wayne, and learning more about Eddie’s family. 

Overall, inoffensive chapter. Not bad. 

Chapter 2

This is a very short chapter. We learn more about the Hideout, and the owner Bev. Eddie works there bussing tables four nights out of the week and in exchange Bev gives Corroded Coffin a stage to play on for probably about 30 minutes at 10. 

We get to see how Eddie feels when he’s playing, and how he is on stage. He’s still only 18, so he’s occasionally a little clunky when introducing songs but he’s doing his best. 

This is when we get the first glimpse of Paige. We have to remember that in this book, Eddie is an 18 year old boy who is used to being treated like shit. Paige is new in the bar, and she’s the only person who’s paying attention to them playing, and she winks at him. 

Eddie simps. 

But I’ll give him that if anyone was actually paying attention to me when I’m doing something I’m passionate about I’d probably simp too. 

Eddie blasts through the set, and convinces the band to play the original song they’ve been working on. Jeff and Dougie aren’t sure about it, but Ronnie sees Paige, knows EXACTLY what’s going on, laughs at Eddie and goes for it. 

Ronnie pulls a “you owe me” by letting him pack up her drums because of this. 

Things I like about this chapter:

-Ronnie is a girl's girl, and the best wing man. 

-Eddie talking about how it feels to be on stage and in the zone

-Eddie has a part time job

-Eddie singing and writing his own songs. 

Short chapter, inoffensive. 

Chapter 3

Another short chapter

Eddie talks to Paige and continues to simp. I do like that he keeps the conversation about music though, you can’t blame the guy for wanting to hear about how they sounded by the ONE person who has ever actually listened. 

Paige went to Hawkins High and graduated two years before, putting her at about 20 years old. She has a brother on the baseball team and she works as a junior talent scout for a record label and the only way to move or or get promoted is to find a band to sign, but her boss hates everything. She’s only in town because her hoarder grandma has died, and the Hideout is the only place within 20 miles of Hawkins that has live music. 

The chapter ends without them even exchanging phone numbers

Things I liked:

-Bev bullying Eddie to do his job 

-Croak-a-cola

-Eddie desperately wanting to talk about his music with someone

Things I didn’t like

-Eddie Simp-son

-Corroded Coffin got booed off the stage at the middle school talent show for playing Prowler by Judas Priest, I will be ignoring this canon in future fics. 

Not much to say about this chapter

Chapter 4

Things get interesting. 

Eddie comes home. Home in this case is not Wayne’s trailer but apparently an actual house that Al Munson owns that Eddie lives at alone most of the time. 

Not tonight though, there are two pairs of boots by the door. Al’s back from jail. Again. Al Munson is big and boisterous and is charming and I want to punch him in his smug little face. He’s been in jail and has the nerve to tease and joke at Wayne’s attempts to take care of Eddie. Eddie isn’t into it. 

Wayne leaves, but not before offering Eddie a place to stay at the trailer, saying there’s a room for him ready whenever he wants it. Eddie declines. Wayne leaves. You can tell Eddie doesn’t know how to talk to Al. 

Al is in trouble. He owes some people money, about $10k. He wants Eddie to join him in stealing some weed from an undercover truck. There’s probably a million dollars worth of weed, but Al swears they’d only steal enough to pay off the loan. Eddie doesn’t want anything to do with this. Eddie tells him to go to Hell, Al sleeps on the couch

What I like:

-The dynamic between Wayne, Eddie, and Al 

-Wayne bringing Eddie groceries every few weeks

-Wayne in general, he’s the best damn parental figure ever 

-Eddie telling his dad to go to hell

-The implication we’re gonna get Munson’s 11

Chapter 5

Eddie helps Gareth create a new character. Jeff was the one to actually make Gareths character before, and it’s nice to see Eddie being nice to his little sheep. 

Gareth leaves and Eddie chats with Ronnie for a bit before they hear a commotion. Gareth is getting bullied by Tommy H, Jason Carver, and a few other jocks. Chrissy Cunningham is also there trying to get Jason to leave. 

Gareth apparently owes them money, and a small scuffle gets broken up by Principal Higgens. Chrissy and Ronnie try and tell him that the jocks started it, but of course Eddie’s gonna get in trouble.

This is the chapter we get a cute little flashback of the time Eddie and Chrissy hung out at the talent show. It was actually pretty cute. Eddie and Chrissy were backstage looking at the audience, Eddie was looking for his no-show dad and Chrissy was looking for her mom who she wished didn’t show up. They each agree to cheer for each other, even if the other’s parents don’t. 

What I liked about the chapter

-Chrissy is a sweetheart 

-Gareth is still a little shit

What I didn’t like:

-Eddie calling Chrissy boring, basically. He basically said she was boring, but she did have personality once for the five minutes we talked four years ago. 

Fun chapter, inoffensive. I’m tired of writing now. 

[prettyboykatsuki]

♡  bakugou headcanons that feel like a warm hug ♡

➳wc ;; 1.2k (oh my god. what is wrong w me.) 

➳ a/n ;; or my bakugou brain-rot that never goes away. thanks for being my comfort character, you fucking gremlin. forgive the silly title. 

♡ always makes little adjustments to the environment for you. he’s observant to a fault so if there’s something even a little off and it happens to bother you, he’s trying to work around it. 

♡ good at playing guitar but not good at reading music. he can throw something together if you give him a chance but he’s not good at trying to recreate someone elses memory. he’s not like.. musically gifted either but he likes how guitar sounds 

♡ thinks about getting a lot of piercings in his ear because he thinks they’d look cool but is kind of too nervous? the idea of a needle going through his skin is a ick. when you start dating, he drags you to his appointments lol - won’t admit it but he thinks he looks so hot when he gets them. takes a bunch of selfies <3 

♡ needs to be moving constantly. can’t sit completely still to save his life. when he listens to music, he moves his head. sometimes he just runs his thumb over his fingers. 

♡ really, really bad at talking. not in the sense he can’t communicate (that too) but he just likes listening in conversation. rarely adds his own thing. but when he does - always accidentally says something super meaningful 

♡ enjoys subtle physical touch because it is literally intimate he melts inside. a hand on his forearm or shoulder. your legs over his lap. small things that show how comfortable you are. 

♡ likes being held cause he’s a big ass baby lmfao 

♡ wont admit it but enjoy when you choose pretty or colorful bandages for his cuts he won’t himself but it’s like keeping you in his pocket wherever he goes.  

♡ really needs you to find him attractive dslksjk it’s not that he ever thinks he’s particularly ugly. but he didn’t really assign importance to his appearance at any point in his life, yet now he puts in a scary amount of effort. readjusts his hair so much more, makes sure his clothes fit good. fixes his fuckin’ face lol 

♡ likes chewing gum a lot and always has a pack on him. really proud of how big he can blow bubbles and will be a little sad if you’re unimpressed. 

♡ is overly sentimental about things you’ve made him - especially if it’s something super dumb. you drew him a silly little sketch of him in a frog hat? it’s in his wallet behind his id. freaks out when he thinks he’s lost his wallet 

♡ LOVES phone calls. yes he still hates talking. but the way his face looks when he listens to your voice. eyes half-lidded, shamelessly smiling - it’s so tender and so lovesick. 

♡ terrible first grader hand-writing. he tries to write them for you in the beginning of your relationship (to be romantic or some shit) but they’re so incomprehensible pls. if he focuses on it - it can be legible but most of the time ... yea no. 

♡ doesn’t favor tea or coffee but prefers tea if he has to drink one. 

♡ crazy good at eyeballing measurement. even in baking. once made a perfectly good bread without weighing anything and doesn’t get why that’s so wild. 

♡ has the phone on his text set to be bigger even though his eyes are fine. 

♡ lets you do the layout thing on his iphone and decorate as you please. says he doesn’t care but when he sees you made it hero themed/fit with his aesthetic - he got so red it was so cute. 

♡ hates shopping in store. will still always go with you because the one time you went alone a store clerk hit on you.  

♡ so practical. he started couponing when he was in his early twenties like an old man. checks the news and weather the night before, every night. never misses doctors appointments. 

♡ shit at any form of visual art. drawing, painting etc - cannot do it to save his life. but he tries. his hands shake when he tries to draw hearts for you 

♡ blows the eyelashes off your cheek super gently whenever he notices. he’ll like.. take your face in his hands and blow so softly like he’s gonna hurt you. 

♡ used to agree to make pinky promises with you as a joke. now though? automatically holds his pink out for you to take it. straight up pouts if you don’t. 

♡ you two have a song and when it comes on, he’ll sing it back to you. any other time? any other song? he wont. but he always sings your song even without realizing, just mouths it. 

♡ enjoys when you put your hands under his shirt and just leave them there and hug him like that. skin to skin contact is elite but only from you. 

♡ hamsters adore this man. they just do. 

♡ draws frowny faces on your eggs with hot-sauce 

♡ soul leaves his body when you play with his hair and scratch his scalp. the tension in his neck literally disappears and he just sighs that shit relaxes him like crazy 

♡ the first time he says i love you, you’re tying his tie for his first hero event. you’re telling him to that the color looks good on him and you’re smiling. it honestly it just slips. he went on to win an award that night. 

♡ his favorite memory of the two of you was when you were trying to leave the grocery store one afternoon. it was raining heavy as shit. you pulled him in under your clear umbrella and just stood there. he doesn’t know why but that means a lot to him. 

♡ cares a lot about his dads approval on his work specifically. him and his dad have a really specifc bond and he actually admires him quite a bit. 

♡ nothing makes him cry like “im proud of you”. especially when it’s for something small. it’s just something he didn’t hear enough in a sincere way. 

♡ likes fruit flavored sweets over chocolate (generally needs something to do w his mouth cause it helps him think. bad oral fixation) so he keeps little candies on him 

♡ shit at video games. terrible at them with the exception of mario kart? for some reason. 

♡ always loses his keys 

♡ stutters every!single!time! he tries to compliment you. it’s been YEARS. 

♡ takes a melatonin gummy before bed and always drinks a glass of water 

♡ buys you flowers and keeps them too. like does the upkeep on it and replaces them if the wilt. suggests pressing them to keep them for longer. 

♡ lowkey cries really easily. he just gets overwhelmed w his feelings some times and it makes him cry even if he doesn’t want too. you and the bakusquad are sworn to secrecy over it though 

♡ wears his ring around his neck on a chain bc it’s easier to show off. 

♡ naturally good at doing hair! 

♡ likes sneakers but wears dr. scholl's because he walks a lot and is on his feet for most of the day w his job. just being careful. 

♡ loves u a lot <3