#but i just feel so angry and ashamed and rn i just want to disappear

[sugarwishes]

it’s scary to see how my bpd affects my cognitive

[tobiosmilktea]

hiii can i request tsumu, kenma, oikawa, and kuroo where they’re in a secret relationship and the reader feels like they’re hiding her bc they’re ashamed of her ? like a hurt too comfort type of thing? thank u bb 🥺🥺

- 🍒

secret relationships w/ atsumu, kenma, oikawa, and kuroo

a/n: i have so many angst requests,, yall must like getting hurt 💀 also this wasn’t as angsty as i thought it was gonna be since im going through writers block yet again and i can not handle pain rn (also not proofread, so read with caution lmao)

— m. atsumu

it honestly surprised you at first, the way someone like miya atsumu returning your feelings the moment you told him you liked him near the start of the school year

there wasn’t that instant gratification though, knowing that one of inarizaki’s golden boys still felt out of your reach

despite being in a relationship with you, it wasn’t like anyone knew of it besides osamu and your closest friend

of course you didn’t really mind as you’ve always thought couples who were obnoxious with their relationships 24/7 and constantly making out in the hallways wasn’t your cup of tea either, so you get why atsumu wanted to keep it a secret

besides, with a guy so popular like him, you really just thought he was sparing you from the harassment (not that it would be bad if all the girls crushing on him new)

you get that he was just trying to protect you, and yet the more you thought of it, the more than it was simply just an assumption and you really didn’t know why your relationship was kept secret

it wasn’t like either of you would get backlash in any way, so what was the problem?

you weren’t exactly the type to be the most insecure either

sure, you were aware of the flaws you had, but it wasn’t something you were ashamed of as you learned to get used to it

yet it’s hard to fully love yourself when your boyfriend isn’t even comfortable with the fact that no one knows you two are even together

you hated jumping to conclusions, but you couldn’t help but to think the worst case scenario—was he ashamed of being with you?

you honestly thought the idea was impossible

if he was seriously ashamed of the thought of being with you in public, why would he even waste all those months dating? were all those dates and nights sneaking out to see each other for nothing?

it was like this for weeks with the way your own thoughts sabotaged you as you stood next to him during lunch

in moments like this in school, surrounded by your classmates and acquaintances, you and atsumu were only friends who sat next to each other occasionally and shared conversations that only friends would have

only friends

god, you hated the way that atsumu wouldn’t even look at you the way that he would when you two are alone

was he that embarrassed to be with you?

you didn’t want six months of all your hard work and effort of making time to be with him for nothing,, you had to do something about it

everyday, you, atsumu, and osamu would walk to school together with osamu typically walking ahead of you and your boyfriend

most couples would hold hands as they walked together, but atsumu had made it explicitly clear as the closer they get to school the farther they had to be from each other to avoid suspicions

thinking of it now, it sounded wrong to begin with and you had no idea why you even agreed to do such a thing

the school was close, maybe a block away and instead of slowing down your pace to create a gap between you and atsumu, you stubbornly stayed next to him to which he flickered you a weird look

he shrugged it off but the moment you two passed the gates and into campus, you slipped your hand into his

without missing a single beat atsumu immediately pulled his hand away from you with a look on his face that held all the questions running through his head at that very moment

“what are you doing?” he asks, almost in a harsh whisper

a frown melted upon your expression at how quickly he pulled away, almost as if he was disgusted by you. “i um, didn’t know you hated the thought of people seeing us together so badly.”

you didn’t know where all your strength went as it disappeared the moment you needed it the most

yet as you were about to walk away, atsumu tugs at your wrist lightly and pulls you into his embrace—his warmth and comforting scent of chamomile from  saved you from the embarrassment that was tainting your cheeks red

“no, no it’s not that,” he mutters, lips tickling your forehead. “i just wanted to keep you to myself a bit longer.”

— k. kenma

you honestly weren’t surprised at the fact that kenma wanted this relationship to be kept secret

he never seemed like the type to be in a relationship let alone get the attention of being in one in the first place, yet it irked you to the core

it was fine at first; acting like you two were just friends while at school or at volleyball practice and it wasn’t at all weird or out of the ordinary

maybe that’s why you were okay with it in the first few months of your relationship with kenma as you were always near him the majority of the time

yet you constantly had to fight the urge to not be so touchy with him from wanting to hold his hand to leaning your head onto his shoulder—you often had to stop yourself especially in front of your friends and his teammates

you were good at keep secrets, but it was absolute hell not being able to even tell kuroo considering you always hung out with him too (it was a given obviously but you digress)

kuroo is a bit curious in his closest friend’s antics so his constant teases of how you and kenma would be such a cute couple annoyed you to your core

he laughs as if you and kenma being together would be absolutely impossible and wouldn’t happen in a million years, and yet here you two were, pretending to laugh at his jokes and agreeing and it would be, in fact, impossible

as mentioned before, you’re more annoyed at keeping your relationship secret rather than angry

your actions were more abrupt and cold rather than your usual warm self and kenma definitely noticed

despite his usual calm and collected expression that he has on a daily basis, it covered up his own emotions of blatant insecurity and worry that you were losing your feelings and losing them quick

the last thing kenma wanted was for everything that happened between the two of you to be wasted over his own fear of being judged for being with you

you were his first in everything and he certainly wasn’t going to let you become his first heartbreak either

he worried about this for a few days, overthinking while he played video games with kuroo, lev, and yaku that they noticed how quiet he was being over the call

it was then did he impulsively asked kuroo to go on a separate voice channel with him just so he could blurt out, “i’m dating (y/n).”

and to his surprise, all his best friend said was: “yeah, i know. (y/n) told me.”

“what? why?” kenma asked with confusion evident on his visage

“she had no one else to go to vent.” kuroo answers, his amused laugh echoing through kenma’s headphones. “don’t worry, i won’t tell anyone.”

“thanks, but... i think (y/n)’s angry at me and i don’t know what to do.”

“she told me that she was getting tired of keeping your relationship a secret. she asked me if you felt embarrassed or even ashamed of being with her.” he explained.

confusion and a bit of worry washed over kenma as his words suddenly faltered, “i could never be ashamed of being with her,”

“then i guess, you should tell her that.”

“what should i do?”

his best friend lets on a smirk (not that kenma could even see it, anyway), “i’m so glad you asked.”

you weren’t exactly sure what you expecting to be honest

you knew there was something going on between kenma and kuroo as if they were planning something intricate, but you weren’t bothered to even ask

perhaps you were still in that petty mindset of giving kenma the cold shoulder after having to keep your relationship on hold all the time that stopped your curiosity

sure, it was a bit childish, but you were planning on talking about it with kenma the moment he came back into the classroom after going off somewhere with kuroo

which by the way, where the hell were they? lunch was ending soon and you needed to talk to you boyfriend asap

the timing was almost perfect the way the thought of him entered your mind was at the same time as his familiar blonde hair walked back into the classroom with a melon bun and a canned drink in his hand from the vending machine—your favorites

“i noticed you didn’t eat lunch, so i bought you this.” he says, placing them down onto your desk.

“is this supposed to be your way of apologizing to me or something?” you mused at him.

there was a faint smile on kenma’s face when you did. this was your usual self, one that constantly smiled at him rather than deadpanned and cold. “no,” he simple put it. taking in a breath of confidence before pressing his lips on the corner of yours. “but i was hoping that would.”

with wide eyes, your eyes scanned the room to see if anyone noticed, afraid at the fact that you broke the first rule. despite being a blushing mess from a minuscule peck on your cheek, there was an inkling of confusion still evident within you, “why did you do that?”

“kuroo told me everything.”

“i knew that guy couldn’t keep a secret,” you mutter as you tried to ignore that infamous feeling of butterflies in the pit of your stomach. “i don’t think people saw, so they won’t think we’re together—”

“what if i wanted people to know we’re together?” ded asf

— o. tooru

you honestly should’ve known oikawa was going to keep this relationship between the two of you a secret since the moment he confessed his feelings to you

what else could you have expected from aoba johsai’s most popular boy wonder with an actual fanclub full of naive girls

perhaps you’ve become naive yourself considering you dealt with months of having your relationship constantly being swept under the rug, psyching yourself out that he was doing this for your sake

and you understood that

it was the reason why you even agreed to keep your relationship on the downlow considering how annoyingly notorious oikawa’s fangirls were, they wouldn’t have let you see the light of day if they were to find out

if you were in fact being honest, there was a period in time near the beginning of the relationship how cautious you were being—barely talking to oikawa unless it had to do with school, avoiding his gazes during class, and even swallowing your pride by just watching his fangirls flirt with him and there was nothing you could do about it

you honestly had to give yourself a pat on the bat for dealing with six months of this treatment

you figured it wouldn’t be that bad, especially after schools where you and oikawa could finally have alone time to yourselves, but even those times alone with him there was a lingering feeling of tension and unease

the thought of someone from school even finding out of you two being  together even affected your relationship outside of school hours

you were tired of waiting outside the school gates for hours just for him to come out of volleyball practice and apologize that he couldn’t walk you home yet again

you figured that oikawa had grown far to used to seeing you waiting for him all the time that it was practically common sense that he was going to reject you again and again

you had to stop waiting for him at some point, but there was an inkling inside that for once, just for once, he would look at you with a smile so sweet that he would finally go with you

but not once has it happened

was he really that afraid of people finding out of his relationship with you that he’s willing to disregard all your hard work to even make this thing (whatever is was) to even happen?

if you were truly being honest with yourself, the only reason why this relationship is still up and active for this long is all because of you

you’re the one always asking him when he’s available during the weekends so you two could finally see each other, you’re the one always texting him first, you’re the one always being the most understanding of the situation

and yet it’s almost like oikawa isn’t even batting an eye at how difficult it has been for you

you absolutely hated jumping to conclusions and thinking of the worst case scenario and yet here you were, suddenly drowning at the possibility that the only reason why oikawa wanted a secret relationship was because he was ashamed to be with you

it was a thought that kept you up at night, tainting your optimistic thoughts of hope that this relationship would actually work out to decimate into thin air

the more is simmered in your head, the worse it became—what if his feelings that he confessed to you was a lie?

you hated overthinking

but if you really thought about it, even before you and oikawa dated, neither of you two were close. just two acquaintances in the same class that occasionally shared answers with each other just by the convenience of sitting nearby

you even went as far as believing that him dating you was just a joke, that this whole goddamn relationship was just some mindless prank just because he was bored

six months of wasted time. you were over it

the next day at school, you didn’t even look at him, you didn’t smile or even acknowledge the way he said good morning to you (as a friend does)

you figured he’s probably too dense to even notice, but he did. the usual glow you had each morning when you said good morning back to him was gone

he already missed the way your gazes would meet and how he would constantly find himself lost in your irises, but now you couldn’t even look at him in the eye

the only person who’s aware that you and oikawa were dating was iwaizumi. it was a given as who else would oikawa ramble on and on and on about how pretty you looked or how smart you are if it wasn’t his best friend?

if anything, iwa was the only guy oikawa could complain about how you were ignoring him

“maybe she’s bored of you for once,” iwaizumi cuts straight to the point. there was really no point in beating around the bush

offense was written all over oikawa’s face, utterly surprised, “how could she?”

“you can’t keep your relationship with her a secret forever, you know.” his best friend goes on to explain, “with the way things are going with you two acting like you’re nothing but acquaintances, (y/n)’s bound to lose her feelings.”

“but i don’t want her to lose feelings for me! and it’s not like i can suddenly tell all my fangirls that i’m dating someone, they’ll freak!” whines oikawa.

“why do you care about your fangirls’ feelings more than your own girlfriend? seems to me, it doesn’t even look like you care about (y/n) at all the way she’s constantly waiting for you after practice only to be rejected.”

it’s obvious iwaizumi wasn’t here to sugarcoat

“i just don’t want them to harass (y/n)...” oikawa reasons, trying to ignore the way his heart drop at iwa’s words like a gripping poison

“then that’s your job to tell those girls to back off.” he suggests, “they literally treat you like a god, surely they’ll listen if you tell them to leave her alone.”

the following day, you came across oikawa waiting outside your door, dressed in his uniform with his gaze lingering about to occupying his attention

“what are you doing here?” you ask him as you close your front door behind you. he’s probably here to break up with you, you thought to yourself

you had to force yourself to ignore the way your heart dropped at your own self-destructive thoughts

taking a deep breath as you approached him, you readied yourself for harsh news to come your way

but it never did

instead, you were greeted by oikawa’s infamous smile that made everyone at school to fall in love with this guy (including you)

he takes your hand into his, intertwining his calloused fingers that dwarfed yours in size. you don’t remember the last time you held oikawa’s hand, but it felt so familiar and warm

it was like home

you couldn’t help but feeling the ends of your lips tugging into a smile as you looked up at him, “what if someone at school sees us?”

you were expecting some kind of excuse, but all he did was shrug. “who cares?”

— k. tetsurou

when you and kuroo started going out, you certainly wasn’t expecting it to be like this

if anything, ‘going out’ would be a stretch if you count late night dates and sneaking out at midnight just to see each other as dating

it certainly wasn’t your usual definition of dating either as you yearned greatly to be able to do normal couple things with your boyfriend—like actually going out on dates during the day, eating lunch together, hell, even just holding hands!

it almost seemed laughable how normal things done in relationships were something you never even experienced with kuroo even after a few months of being together all due to him wanting to keep the relationship a secret

and if you were truly being honest with yourself, you never really understood why he wanted to keep it on the downlow in the first place

you never really questioned it as you just that much of an understanding person, but at a certain point it just wasn’t adding up

it wasn’t like he had girls going after him 24/7 despite being at the top of his class, popular, and nekoma’s volleyball captain

it wasn’t like oikawa who had an actual problem with hoards of girls surrounding him and tracking his ever move, so what was the big deal of letting your relationship public?

it was then did it hit you

the suddenly downpour of insecurity within your own loving boyfriend that you trust so much was getting the best of you

“what if he’s embarrassed to even be with me?” you contemplated in a harsh whisper to your best friend

it was in the middle of lunch and you two were sitting alone on a bench in the school’s courtyard chatting while eating—well, more like overthinking in your case while you friend just sat there and nodded

“if he actually felt that way, then he would’ve broken up with you already.” your friend stated in between bites, “besides, if i didn’t have feelings for someone, i wouldn’t put in the effort to sneak out just to see them.”

you hummed, not sure what to say as she did have a point

but could you really blame yourself for wanting an actual relationship rather than one that’s forced to go unnoticed?

“i should talk to kuroo about it...” you sigh out.

“talk to me about what?” an oh-so-familiar voice calls out to you and your friend

kuroo’s figure approaches the two of you as he give you a curt smile with hidden meanings that you weren’t able to even notice. you were too caught up in your own meddling thoughts that you also didn’t notice the way kuroo frowned slightly at the way you avoided eye contact with him

“nothing,” was all you said before standing up and throwing your trash away. “lunch is almost over so we should all get to class.” was all you said before briskly walking away

kuroo’s brows furrow in confusion as he looks over to your friend, “what’s up with (y/n)?”

“she thinks you’re too embarrassed to be with her, that’s why you hide your relationship.” she cuts straight to the point (homegirl just wants to eat her lunch in peace ffs)

“what?” your boyfriend huffs out in shock, almost offended at the fact that you out of all people would believe such a thing. “why does she think that?”

your friends shrugs, “not sure. that’s something you should be asking her, but if it were me, i would want a normal relationship as well.”

kuroo doesn’t say another word before walking away. and yet his walk quickened so he could catch up to you before you could get to class, footsteps echoing through the hallway in patters as he sees your familiar figure near your classroom 

“(y/n)!” he calls out to you as you slide the classroom’s door open. it was sure to catch the attention of the rest of the students already in the classroom as you turn towards him, brows furrowed in the same confusion

as he neared you, there was almost no sign in him stopping, sending your heart beating in a frenzy as you parted your lips to tell him to slow down

but before a single syllable could even fall from your lips, your boyfriend’s own pair press against yours harshly. it was sweet like caramel and you swore everything moved in a slow motion when you suddenly realized where you two were

he stole your breath away when he pulled apart from you, eyes immediately scanning the room of his own classmates staring at him in awe

“since when were you two dating?” matsukawa asked rather loudly, it seemed that others were interested in knowing as well.

panic suddenly coursed through you as you gave kuroo a look, gravely ignoring the way yoru heart was thumping against your chest and the dozens of unanswered questions running through your head

“w-we’re not actually dati—”

“we’ve been together for a few months actually.” kuroo cuts you off, sending you a wink before entering the classroom

[an1malcannibal]

So about that sog Kai au 👀👀👀 do you mind telling us about it????😳😳😳

ALSJJDJSKALAJSJSKALA GOTCHU BRO 🥺💞💞💞 thank you for asking!!!!! Beware.... long post time....

Basically this starts aaaallllll the way back in season 4, where when Kai became the red shogun, he got involved in even shadier and shadier business situations (he basically becomes a for-hire grunt/guard because he’s so good at fighting! As a result, he’s so deep in the underworld and it’s dealings that when the ninja tried to look for him in season 4, they straight up can’t find him. They use all of their connections, everything they can, but he’s completely disappeared, without so much of a trace past three months after Zane died. (This is a year later. They hadn’t checked up on Kai in a while, he had a huge fight with them before he left, swore he never wanted to see them again, etc. they decided to give him time and space). So they file Kai as a missing person, and come together for the search for him! A few days after the report is filed and they start the search, they get their invitations to Chen’s! Kai didn’t get an invite because even Chen couldn’t find him... so the ninja have to make the difficult decision to pause their search and try and go save Zane, only to have nya AND Garmadon show up because Nya came with him for backup, but then she heard abt Zane, and made the even harder decision to join them on their quest to get Zane. Season 4 happens relatively the same, only Nya was the one to become romantically involved with skylor instead of Kai (staff moment didn’t happen because nya didn’t have the villainous traits for the staff to bring out rip. But it did help connect her to her elemental powers a little early! Good for you queen). But anyways. Harm still gets yeeted, seasons aftermath is the same except now they have Zane and have to face the search for Kai, which hits them like a ton of bricks. Season 4 ends.

so when season 5 starts everything is pretty different, there’s no tea shop, because all of their energy and focus is on the search for kai, so nya hasn’t had time to rlly focus on trying to develop her powers, so later when she trains her skill level is abt the same. morro happens, which delays the search AGAIN. they are in very low spirits abt all this. season 5s ending and resulting effects are the same. skybound does not happen just like in the show :). day of the dead happens, season 7 is a bit more complicated but again, results for the ninja are the same. basically normal seasons, except kai isn’t there and they are generally in lower spirits because all of their free time is spent looking for kai, but they think he’s either vanished completely or.... something worse that they don’t want to think about. so by time season 8 starts, the ninja have definitely become much more lax on their search, not spending as much time on it, dealing with other threats. they hate it, but ninjago needs defending and they are the ones to do it. by time season 8 starts, they’ve stopped actively going all over ninjago. they just keep their eyes out during missions more, that kind of thing. MEANWHILE!

this whole time, kais been doing his shady activities. traveling around with different gangs until he finds one that have him work for them full time, however it’s one of the biggest organized crime syndicates in ninjago. all over the whole continent! so he basically has to travel a lot, and he goes DEEP undercover, because originally he didn’t want anyone to find him, then it became he was so ashamed of all the criminal activity he’s taken part in. however, after a while of stewing in definitely the WORST environment for this kind of thing, he slowly but surely has so much resentment, the anger, then eventually even hate for the ninja. it wasn’t near overnight, but it happened. he thought about all the hurtful things they had said to eachother in their last fight. how deeply everyone’s words had cut. how they all seemed to gang up on him, when he now knew he was grieving, and sure he was out of line a bit then, but did it really require that? them taking everything out on him? he thought about how it took months for them to even realize he was gone, that his last motel was a dead end and he hadn’t left a trace since. how they didn’t try and somehow let him know that zane was alive. how they had seemed to search for him like mad and then disappear for so long, almost at this point having given up on finding him entirely. he didn’t want to talk to them, but it had been nice, secretly, to know that they at least cared enough to look for him, to miss him maybe. he thought about how zane dying had fractured the team, but kai being as good as dead didn’t seem to meaningfully impact the team in any way. he was selfish for thinking this, he knew, but GOD it hurt him more than he could describe. all that he had done for each of his teammates. his sister. his family. his whole life he had done nothing but sacrifice for all of them, only for them to not sacrifice a thing in return for him? he is. angry. and devastatingly depressed about it at the same time. and he’s filled with so many conflicting emotions, because on one side he still truly cares about them, and would do so much for things to go back to the way they were. but on the other side, he is just filled with so much resentment and anger, hatred all built up, the feeling of betrayal and deep, gut wrenching sadness, all swirling together, clouding his mind, mixing with his deep, almost hidden happiness of being actually FREE of all of the hero junk, the responsibility, the destiny, EVERYTHING. he also, even more secretly, enjoys the fighting more now. he doesn’t have to hold back. he can keep going until he burns himself out because that’s what he’s paid to do, damn the consequences. he’s swept up into being more and more violent, even accepting a few hit jobs a couple of times, mainly to see if he could. he could. basically rn he’s an absolute SOUP of conflicting violent emotions and dubious morality. This is the state he’s in when he meets Harumi.

he meets harumi on a job, she was working with the opposite gang, starting to get herself into the crime rings so she could firmly establish the sons of garmadon, (this part might change a bit because i actually have to watch season 8-9-10 lol but i’m getting to it i promise) they end up outside after, ending up sharing a lighter and some smokes, causing them to start talking, and end up opening up a bit and bonding a bit. they end up sort of.... acquaintances. they will talk after a job or before sharing a lighter to smoke sometimes, talking about so many different things. eventually they end up talking abt the ninja and how much they HATE them, harumi egging kai on in his negative emotions towards him, revealing her parents fates. kai ends up revealing the stuff abt his parents, how he was forced to raise his sister from far too young..... eventually revealing that he was, at one time. the red ninja. never again to him though. never again. he’s begun to hate everything he once stood for. harumi has her suspicions, he fit the description of the missing red ninja, from broadcasts and flyers. this was just the kind of business where you don’t ask those kinds of questions. besides, she liked kai. and what better way to get back at the green ninja, the once she hated most, than getting his former teammate on her side?

BUM BUM BUM

So that’s it so far!!!! I hope u like this bro! I have a lot more details and fights in mind, especially when we actually get into season 8 lol, but I don’t wanna spoil anything rn!!!!! Lots of fun stuff I’m planning on posting lol 👀 PLEASE tell me what u think bro..... I crave feedback and criticism..... pls bro.... 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[writemywaytoyourheart]

BTS Reaction: You Have An Asthma Attack | Maknae Line

Requested: yes! @sweetbtsboys I hope you like this! Sorry it took literally so long.

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none :)

Hyung line coming soon <3

PARK JIMIN:

You stand there in shock as confusion and dread washes through you. You have no idea what to do and all you can focus on is the back of your best friend, the only boy you've ever loved, as he walks away from you dejectedly.

He just took you by complete surprise by confessing to you. You never thought he'd feel that way about you, so you've always pushed your feelings down again and again for years.

"Y/n...I think I'm in love with you. No, no I am in love with you."

"I- what?"

"I mean-...yeah." 

He wrings his hands anxiously awaiting your answer, while your head is spinning as you try to find the right words to accept his confession. After a minute of silence Jimin sighs and hangs his head, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm such an idiot, gosh I'm so stupid." You look up in shock and shake your head, the words still stuck in your throat. But, Jimin doesn't see your panicked expression as he's staring at the ground in embarrassment.

Then to your horror; Jimin sucks in a shaky breath and moves to turn away. "I'm really sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have said it. I ruined everything didn't I? Just- just pretend this didn't happen...please." Jimin turns away before you can grab him. Why won't the words you want to speak come out? Why can't you call to him and tell him to wait? Tell him you feel the same and have for years.

When the shock finally wears off and your head clears, you shake your it and blink. Then, you see Jimin disappear behind a corner.

No.

No no no.

You spring into action and run after him as fast as you can.

"Jimin! Jimin wait!" You call out to him, but he doesn't hear you. You turn the corner and see a bunch of people walking here and there as you scan the crowd in a panic.

You start to push through people carefully, when you see the back of his brown head going further away as he walks at a brisk pace.

The crowd finally breaks and you sprint for all your worth, not giving your asthma a second thought.

How is he so fast?

You think desperately as you run, your lungs already starting to ache and burn. Then it hits you like a wave; there's a horrible pinching in your chest and you gasp for air, but you can't stop running. You won't.

"Jimin! Park Jimin, stop!" You holler with the last of your breath. He stops suddenly and turns at the sound of your urgent voice.

"Y/n?" He looks at you in confusion, then he hurries toward you when he sees the state you're in. He takes your hands and helps you to a bench.

"Oh my gosh, y/n are you okay? Why were you running?" You mime to him that you can't breathe and he nods, rubbing your back gently.

"You're having an attack, aren't you?" You nod and he bites his lip in worry. "Do you have your inhaler?" He feels guilty that you rn to catch up with him, and panic as he sees you struggling to get a breath in. You shake your head and his heart drops, then he pulls himself together and takes your hands gently.

"Ok then. Just breathe with me, alright?" At your nod of confirmation, he starts to take slow deep breaths, counting and blowing out again and again. Eventually you're able to keep pace with him as you two look at each other and breathe deeply. After a couple minutes you can breathe, but you're still wheezing a bit.

"Are you okay, y/n?"

"You're an idiot, Park Jimin." You choke out and he looks down at the ground.

"I know. I'm sorry, I ruined ev-"

"No. You're an idiot to think I don't feel the same about you."

Jimin's eyes nearly pop out of his head and you try to bite back a smile. "W-what? I don't- you don't-... You don't hate me?" You roll your eyes and surprise both of you when you wrap your arms around him and hold on tightly.

"Of course not. I-...I love you."

Jimin hugs you back and blinks back his tears, not wanting you to know about them.

"We should probably go get your inhaler, love." You blush at what he calls you and nod awkwardly, "Yeah, that's a good idea." Jimin takes your hand and envelopes it in his, helping you stand.

"You shouldn't have run after me like that."

"What was I supposed to do? Let you go thinking I hated you?"

"We have phones you know. You could've called or texted me to come back."

"Oh shut up."

Either way, you can bet he isn't going to let you be running again anytime soon.

KIM TAEHYUNG:

"Jagi, I told you a thousand times. Get off that scale right now." You pout when your husband walks over and lifts you off the little scale in your bathroom, carrying you into the living room and plopping you on the couch. "But, Tae! I gained another pound and a half. I just need to-" Taehyung cuts you off with a look, a very angry look.

"You need to stop this. I'm not kidding around y/n." You can tell he's hurt and you feel ashamed of the way you've been acting. You skipped a few meals and kept checking your weight, making comments about how fat you are. You never considered the fact that maybe it would have an affect on your husband too. He always tells you how beautiful you are and how much he loves you, but you never accept it.

That has to weigh on him a lot.

Suddenly you're crying, out of the guilt you feel for putting him through all that. Taehyung kneels and wipes your tears away softly, "y/n, baby. Please just talk to me." You sniffle and shrug, "I don't know. I just don't feel good in my body. I don't feel healthy." Taehyung nods in understanding, "you mean because of how tired and cruddy you always feel?" You nod and he stands up to pull you to your feet.

"Then, we'll both start eating healthier and we can go on morning jogs. I don't feel my best these days either. Sound like a deal?" You nod excitedly and hug him tightly, "yes! That'll be fun!" Tae laughs as you two go to the room to get some sleep before your first jog the next day.

~

You're totally hyped up and ready; you've got your tennis shoes on and your headphones ready. You're a little nervous because you have asthma, but it shouldn't act up if you two take it easy.

Apparently that doesn't matter though, because the cold air gets to you about five minutes into the jog. Tae is going like a pro, headphones in his ears and he's not struggling at all. You on the other hand; are struggling to breathe as you stop to catch your breath. You hold your hand up to tell Taehyung to slow the heck down, and he sees you aren't next to him. Tae stops and jogs back to you, "you alright, jagi?" He looks at you knowingly and takes your hand, leading you to a bench. When you both sit down he pats your back gently, "asthma attack?" You nod and he pulls out your inhaler from one of his pockets. You look at him in surprise and he shrugs, "I know you better than you know yourself, baby. This cold air is a bit-"

"Taehyung!" You laugh and he chuckles along with you, smiling sweetly at you as you take a few puffs from your inhaler. After a couple minutes you give him a thumbs up and he nods, "all better?" You shake your head yes and stand up, "I'm okay, let's go now." Before you can start jogging again, Tae grabs your hand and starts to walk slowly with you. You look at him, confused. He smiles and shrugs, "I think maybe we should do daily walks instead, and for the cold weather we'll take shorter ones." You nod in agreement and smile at the warmth his big hand envelopes yours in as you two stroll and watch the sunrise.

JEON JUNGKOOK:

You can't stop the laughs bursting from your lips as you run as fast as you can away from your boyfriend. Jungkook and you decided to have a picnic today, so you packed up some food and came to this big field that's always empty. You two found the field one day and now it's your special place.

"I'm gonna get you, y/n!" You squeal and pump your arms harder than before, your sundress flapping in the wind while Jungkook laughs behind you at your cuteness. As you're running around in circles avoiding his grasp, your chest starts feeling tight and your breaths get shorter. You know an asthma attack is coming on, but you unwisely ignore it. You don't want it to ruin your fun day with Jungkook. Besides, you have your inhaler in your purse and a few puffs will fix it all.

Another minute passes and you start to slow down, grabbing your chest to help the air go in. Your chest has a sharp pain everytime you breathe in.

Jungkook notices your change in behavior and slows to a stop, "y/n? You okay, baby?" You nod and smile while waving him off with a laugh, "I'm fine! Just hungry." Jungkook smiles and points at the basket on the blanket laid out, "Ok then, let's eat! Come here." You walk into his open arms and he kisses your head, wrapping his arms around you. Suddenly, you're coughing uncontrollably and the wheezing has started. You sit on the ground and try to breathe slowly, but it's not helping. You can't get enough air in and the pain in your chest is excruciating. Jungkook plops down next to you with concern written all over his face, "y/n? What's going on? How can I help you, baby?" You never told him about how bad your asthma is; you usually use your inhaler and you don't run a lot, so the poor boy is at a complete loss of what's going on right now.

You point to your chest and manage to wheeze out, "a-asthma..." Jungkook's eyes widen and he scoots closer to you, "what do I do? Baby, tell me how to help you." You point at your purse and mouth 'inhaler' before another coughing fit wracks your body. Jungkook quickly crawls over the blanket to your purse, opening it and pulling out your inhaler, then he rushes back and hands it to you gently. He rubs your back soothingly while you take a puff.

But nothing comes out.

You look down in a panic, it can't be out already!! But it is. The little inhaler has a "0" on it while you stare at the place where the number of puffs is. Jungkook sees your face and looks down at it, "what's the matter? Is it not working?" You shake your head and cough out, "it r-ran out." Jungkook tries not to panic, but his mind is spinning in circles.

Then he takes a deep breath and nods, "ok well, we don't need it. All we need is to stay calm until we get another one, ok?" You nod and he tells you to take as deep breaths as you can, counting with you as he cleans up the picnic. Then he stands up, grabbing the basket and blanket and motioning for you to stand.

Jungkook has you get on his back while he holds the picnic stuff. You climb on and he walks you to the car, counting your breaths the whole way. He even carries you up the stairs to your apartment where you grab your spare inhaler and take a couple puffs.

"Thank you, Kookie." You hug him once your breathing has regulated again, and he kisses you gently.

"Love you, y/n. Make sure you tell me anything else like this, I just want to help you." You nod and he embraces you softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: I'm sorry this took so long. I hope you guys that requested these things are still here and see them :((

[pokefanbri]

1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful

[deliciouskook-blog]

We don’t talk anymore (Jikook Cover) Scenario  Jungkook x Reader

Hello guys

This is my first Tumblr post and first fanfiction inspired by the beautiful cover released by JUNGKOOOK&JIMINNN 'We don't talk anymore'. I know Jungkook has done the cover alone before but I think this version is more powerful and made me feel things as many of you would probably relate and Jimin's sweet voice is everything I love him so much..... I'm in tears rn :'(

Anyways so when i heard this song i just grabbed my lapotp and typed this, its raw and not proofread and was literally just me blabbering cos of the feels i got from the cover and so i imagined a really sad relationship. I hope you enjoy it!!

I don't know if anyone's going to even read this but my friend told me to post it anyway so if you like it please give me some love!!! I accept requests <3 and would probably write better if i wasnt so emo ahhahahahahahahhaha (i shouldnt lie to myself ill never stop feeling emo while stanning bts)

Word count: 1.9k

Y/N POV

It’s been a long time since you felt the spark that initially ignited your relationship, you always had to put your 100% and felt like it was dying anyway, there was nothing that can be done to save it and that’s when you thought it was time to start seeing someone else and move on.

You called him a day before you decided to forget the hell that you have been through because of him but like all the previous calls that turned to voicemail this time was no different.

It was the familiar female voice again ‘the mobile number you have called is not available...’

You felt ashamed that he has put you through this and hurt your pride, because no matter how much you called he just wont answer.

Y/N: ‘jungkook I need to speak to you’ – delivered at 10:31 pm

‘please just answer the phone..’ – delivered at 10:32 pm

‘jungkook’ – delivered at 10:32 pm

but nothing

5 minutes later… the messages were checked as ‘opened’

So she decided to call again but there was no answer.

Jungkook: ‘I wish you could stop calling me at night you know im at practice’ ‘I wont answer I’m working so good night’ – opened at 10:40 pm

Y/N: ‘why are you like this?’ ‘whats wrong?’ – opened at 10:41 pm

Jungkook: ‘nothing is wrong’ – opened at 10:42 pm

Y/N: ‘don’t lie to me can you please call me back after practice?’ – opened at 10:42 pm

Jungkook: ‘yeah.. later’ – opened at 10:45 pm

You stayed up all night waiting for his call it was an agonisingly slow night but you waited for him to call you like a fool anyway. 3AM came around and still no call. He never practices this late.

So you decided to call one more time. And unexpectedly there was an answer.

‘hello? Jungkook?’

silence

‘yeah… wussup’

he sounded drunk and you were speechless…

‘werent you at practice? Why are you drunk’

‘im not drunk’

‘well okay then what are you’

‘im jungkook’

no shit

‘ok jungkook we need to talk but I cant talk to you if your drunk’

‘youre already talking so carry on… what is this 39 missed calls all about’

‘where are you, can I see you? and if you answered the first call there wouldn’t be 39’

‘no im going home now so just say what you want’

‘okay… I just don’t think this is going to work out between us’

silence

‘jungkook’

then he laughed sarcastically

‘are you breaking up with me?’

‘yeah I jus-‘

‘okay then’

‘jungkook I need to tell you why’

‘I don’t.. think I care…’

= call ended=

Jungkook woke up with a severe headache. The time was already 2 past noon and he had no idea what hes done the night before but all he could remember was drinking so much.

The truth is he didn’t know why he drank so much in fact he didn’t know why he gave up doing anything besides work the past few month, he knew his relationship with you was dying slowly and he knew It was his fault but the Wings tour and his musical career was eating him and was far more important, at least in the company and BTS’ eyes.

He thought that you could wait for him but his career cant, he knew it was selfish and hard but he had no other choice and he didn’t know better, because he was only 19 and he could only handle so much.

You woke up around the same time, you didn’t get time to sleep at all from crying over the ended phone call, you knew it would be hard but you had to move on. You knew you didn’t deserve him and that made your relationship rocky at first, but as jungkook told you he loved you repeatedly, you slowly gained confidence and learnt to love yourself too but that all came crashing down because he clearly doesn’t love you anymore.

You knew the only way you would get over him is erasing him completely from your life which included blocking his phone number, for his own good you knew he was a good guy and probably would try to befriend you after these 3 years but you couldn’t handle seeing him as not yours, but just a friend. You took out your phone and as you unlocked it, you saw the selfie you had at their last date together and couldn’t help but cry even more because all that has to go too.

= 3 months passes by=

Authors PV

As you slowly learnt how to live life from scratch, Y/N served another caramel late to who seemed to be a distressed customer. She had quit her old job which was close to big hit’s main building and decided on a new beginning.

Within these 3 months she had met a guy who’s a regular at the café named Zico, he would throw way too many compliments about the coffee than one would give but she found it cute as at least for what seemed like years, she’s started to receive the attention she craved… but she cant help but think of jungkook whenever she sees him wishing that he would be the one who would give her these compliments and taste coffee that she only recently learnt to master but obviously that life doesn’t exist anymore.

But as she is in south korea, bts are increasingly becoming a hot topic and their songs were played everywhere as if her memories of him weren’t enough reminder.

Slowly Y/N got to know Zico even more, and naturally they dated. She couldn’t deny how good he treats her, maybe its because it’s a new relationship but he was there when she texted and even called her when she didn’t turn up for work because she was sick. He showed that he cares. Jungkook didn’t.

On a fated evening, when the new couple chose to walk next to the Han river a familiar figure stood on the way walking with what seemed another familiar figure but she chose to ignore it and continue walking holding hands with her new lover.

What Y/N dont know is jungkook has been growing crazy the last 3 months, he had tried to reach you so many times, he doesn’t remember the phone call that night and he thought that you ended the relationship alone and hasn’t decided to even talk it with him. He missed you so much and every day he realised how much of it was his fault, it was his fault that you had left your old job, your neighbourhood, changed your number and disappeared. He wished you were happy but deep down he hoped like himself that you weren’t able to forget him.

Then he saw you walking, he looked at jimin who was trying to distract him from the sight that he has also seen. Jungkook felt angry and tried to contain himself, but soon after he was washed with feelings of sadness and regret, deciding to walk up to you anyway.

‘Y/N ?’

you looked at him with surprised eyes, which Zico has returned to you in confusion.

‘can you give me a minute?’ you said to Zico who nodded and walked away

‘you look well’ you said to him

‘is that all you have to say to me’ he said to you with tears in his eyes

‘I don’t remember you wanting me to say anything at all… but say what?’ you replied returning a hurt face.

‘why you left me like this’ he said looking down knowing exactly what you left but he had to hear you say it

‘you didn’t want to hear it.. remember?’ you said to him as you laughed away your tears

‘what are you talking about?’ he asked you

‘you said to me you didn’t want to hear it, remember you were kind of drunk actually but I knew if I didn’t tell you right there and then, you would never pick up’ you admitted

‘you couldve texted me at least’ he said defeated

‘you don’t even reply anyway… I need to go’ you walked away

then he watched you combining your hands with your new lover as you continue walking. Jungkook went back to the company’s building with Jimin who tried to comfort him, he saw the pain that Jungkook went through the past few months, but he couldn’t deny that he was the one who screwed it up for himself.

Jungkook entered the studio where he was meant to record aimlessly, he always overworked himself when he was feeling lonely or sad and today he was broken. He scrolled down his Spotify playlist and encountered a song named ‘We don’t talk anymore – By Charlie Puth’, it was always there but he never really bothered to listen to it, but tonight he tapped ‘PLAY’.

By the end of the song he was sobbing, he remembered how much he wanted to come back to you when he had a day full of schedule, he expected you to be there texting him sweet words when he couldn’t make it to dates because he couldn’t perfect his practice, celebrate happy occasions with you but there must be a good reason that she left him he thought laughing to himself as he related to the lyrics of the song. He was so drawn to the song that he decided to cover it hoping that the fans would like it too, but more importantly as a message to his gone girl.

=3 weeks forward=

‘Did you hear the songs Jungkook released this month’ said a co-worker to the other ‘No no what is it called? Put it on’ the other one replied

They played the cover that the entire of nation of Korea has been obsessing over, and for the first time the you heard it. And you felt as if you were shot in the heart. You could hear the sincerity in his voice and realised how the hell did things come this far, because you couldn’t imagine your life without him no matter what.

‘I need to go somewhere can you cover for me please? you said to one of the coworkers and ran outside the café to big hit, cursing yourself for deleting his phone number.

And as you ran to the building you asked the familiar security who still remembers you if jungkook can be called down.

You felt like life at that moment was like a ticking bomb and you needed to tell him whatever you were feeling at that moment, you’ll probably regret it but at this moment you didn’t care.

But it was too late as you saw him walking down the stairs with another girl’s hand around his. You felt like you were shot a second time, this time earning a much severe injury. You laughed at the thoughts you had, the he sang this for you – it might’ve had no meaning at all. With tears running down your cheeks you ran before he could notice you catching a TAXI, but he did see you and realised that you came back. Jungkook let go of the girl’s hand to run after you but it was too late… he watched the TAXI drive off.

Many tears were shed that day.