#but i hope the crowd were supportive and screamed in joy when y/n said yes because that would be so much fun

[starlostseungmin]

now...

reblogging this to my main because why not?

the subtle art of cliche confessions. ksm.

kim seungmin x gn!reader — as aware as you were that life wasn’t like the fictional stories of romance that you enjoyed, a part of you still relished the thought of experiencing it for yourself.

GENRE/S — fluff, humor kinda, maybe fluffy angst but not really, battle of the bands au, lead singer!seungmin, college au, kinda semi-established relationship • 2.5k words

WARNING/S — profanity for humor, some self-deprecation as a result of nervousness but its not that bad, romance is complicated!

( ✒️ ) a gift for @starlostseungmin for successfully completing her big exam 🙇‍♀️🤍 congratulations lovie, you deserve a fluffy seungmin fic !! the ending may be trash im sorry its 1am and i have class in a few hrs

2024 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.

“Jisung, I think I’m about to pass out.”

The person mentioned comically froze on the spot, his right hand halting from its previous task of double-checking his electric guitar’s condition. Jisung lifted his head up menacingly to look at the offender—who currently looked like he was seconds away from losing all strength in his legs. Despite the concerning comment, life backstage did not stop for anyone. Crew members were still seen running around like headless chickens, desperately trying to keep the show running smoothly even though they, themselves, were already functioning on greater levels of adrenaline than the performers. 

“Oh, no you don’t,” Jisung warns lowly. “Kim Seungmin, you are not about to leave us without a lead singer right now!”

Unfortunately, Seungmin was not kidding. At all.

The loud cheers of the crowd from beyond the stage were deafening. It tells him that the band currently performing before them is doing a great job of keeping the audience entertained. Normally, that would’ve set him on fire to do better; bits of his competitive nature steeling his resolve to outdo the competition. And yet, something seemed to be different in today’s specific battle. 

He couldn’t care less about the crowd—no, his mind was only revolving around one thought. Or one person, to be specific. 

This makes him blanch once again. “I genuinely feel like throwing up.”

Chan snickers from his position near the dividers set up to create a makeshift waiting room for the performers. “Are you that nervous?” He asked lightheartedly. “Don’t stress about it too much, Min. We all know Y/N is going to say yes.”

Seungmin wanted to believe him. He really did. If anyone were to be asked about his natural demeanor, he was one hundred percent positive that the word ‘rational’ would come up at least once. He knew that the chances of the drummer’s words were the most probable—after all, he did his best efforts to capture your heart over the past year. And yes, Seungmin did also know that you had romantic feelings for him. That was why he was in this situation in the first place.

“If I were them, I would!” Hyunjin chirps, happily tapping on his bass guitar. “Imagine getting asked out by the lead singer of a band in the middle of their set? Anyone would be over the moon.” Seungmin merely scoffs in response.

“Of course you would, Mr. Hopeless Romantic.”

The bassist chokes out an offended noise. “Says the one doing a public confession,” he huffs. “Glad to know you learned a thing or two from those romance movies I pitch in on movie nights.”

“Yeah, well this isn’t fiction.” Seungmin deflates on his seat. Any more, and his band would’ve witnessed a person merging with a plastic chair. Wouldn’t that be a great memory to live with? “This is so cliche. What if they think it’s cringy?”

Jeongin, the keyboardist, shoots him a look full of judgment. “Why are you only second guessing this now?”

“To be fair, you both are already cringy.” Jisung stands up from his seat to stretch, only to receive a glare from the band’s lead singer. He raised his hands in mock surrender. “Just saying. It’s a miracle how long you two went on without an actual label. Everyone knows you two have been practically dating since months ago.”

And to that, Seungmin has no retort. What Jisung said had its truths—even he, himself, didn’t know why it took him so long to ask you to be officially his. It definitely wasn’t a commitment issue; he hasn’t even entertained anyone else intimately ever since he met you. There were even nights where he mentally beat himself up for being a coward about this whole thing, only for him to end the torment by convincing himself it was him going through the courting stage with you.

Not that he even asked, but that was what he was doing. Right?

It’s not his fault you always rendered him speechless. Not too much, of course. He wasn’t that starstruck that he’d make an absolute fool of himself. It was just that you made him really nervous and awfully conscious of himself. The way you talked was like music to his ears, and he swears he could listen to you all day. He finds himself wondering if his own voice ruins this fantasy of his.

You had to have noticed his advances as well. There was just no way that you didn't, with how smart you were. He just didn’t know whether to be grateful or frustrated with the fact that you never said a word about it. What if you were actually uncomfortable with the whole thing and were just too nice to tell him. Oh, he should’ve asked. This is terrible. A massive mistake on his part. An angel like you shouldn’t be forced to be with someone like him.

“What if I’m getting ahead of myself and they don’t actually like me like that?”

Jeongin’s jaw drops. “You have got to be kidding me.” He was going to tease Seungmin further, but something about the look on his friend’s face screamed anxiety, so Jeongin was quick to force his mouth closed. “Y/N does. Have you seen the way they act when they’re with you? Heart eyes, I swear.”

Okay, there’s that too. Seungmin wasn’t blind, nor was he dense. If he didn’t think you were interested in him like this, then he wouldn’t have actively pursued you time and time again. He was confident, not someone who didn’t know their boundaries. And fortunately, you seemed to have wordlessly affirmed that he could get close to you over the months you’ve been talking. He was sure that if you had even expressed the slightest bit of disapproval of his advances, he would have pulled away immediately. As well as reassess the situation right afterwards.

Seungmin sighs. “I just want to do this right.”

“And you will,” Chan says. The drummer gives him a firm pat on the back. “Trust in yourself. We’ll also have your back. Go out there and perform like you always do, just that you have your little plan before the bridge comes in.”

All Seungmin got from that was how you were in the crowd. Right, you were in that crowd. The very same crowd he didn’t give a single fuck about at this moment. You were the only audience he needed, and it both comforted and terrified him to remember that he left you to sit in the very front row earlier before the program started. Just where did all his courage go? The bastard who planned a public confession on their campus festival’s Battle of the Bands competition should be the one present to go through all this.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever been this nervous to perform ever.”

Hyunjin hums. “Then that means you really like Y/N!”

“Exactly. We didn’t agree to make a whole new original song for this competition just for nothing,” Jisung adds. “Well, I guess it’s also good publicity for when we actually do this band thing for real. Show the public our sound, you know?”

Seungmin finally begins to breathe easily again. He briefly stares at Chan fiddling with his drumsticks, twirling them around with his fingers to soothe his own nerves about their upcoming performance. After all, this wasn’t just a performance that Seungmin was doing alone. The competition also meant a lot to his other members in their own different ways, yet they still gave their full support to him when he told them about his plan.

He had great friends.

“Stray Kids?” A slightly hoarse voice called out. Seungmin knew the figure as Changbin, someone from the student government. The guy was normally a lot more energetic than this, but he guesses the fatigue must be getting to him from being one of the organizers for this particular event. “You guys are up in a few seconds.”

Well, this is it. Seungmin stands up to get ready, clearing his throat to calm himself. There’s nowhere to run now.

The crowd’s enthusiastic roars never seemed to stop after the previous band’s set ended, and it was beginning to tick you off. Granted, you should have been happy that Seungmin’s band was going to be greeted by a happy crowd, but that also meant that they were subject to pleasing an audience whose hearts were clearly already captured by the performers right before them. And you would be nothing if you weren’t competitive. Biased or not, you would die on the hill believing that Seungmin’s band is better than the others.

They had a national treasure of a voice for their lead vocals, so how could they not be the best?

An amused snort came from your left side. You didn’t have to think too hard to figure out that it came from your friend, Felix. He was probably finding humor in the way your face didn’t spare a single effort to even plaster an indifferent expression. What can you say? You were loyal.

“Alright! I see that all of you enjoyed that wonderful performance from Xdinary Heroes!” The program’s host, Lee Minho, came back out to hype the crowd. It was then that your attention snapped back up to the big stage, your eyes watching like a hawk as Seungmin and his friends settled into the equipment. A bubbling giggle found its way out of your mouth at how Seungmin looked so focused on adjusting the height of his mic stand. “A very unique band name, if I do say so myself. But it does look like the new trend, as all of you here might also find interest in our next band’s name.”

“Seriously,” Felix starts, his tone teasing. “You are so down bad.”

You roll your eyes. “Be quiet. It’s starting.”

“Yeah, sure.” Felix laughs at your reaction. “We wouldn’t want to interrupt your longtime dream of being confessed to by a singer in the middle of a set now, would we?” Your face burned warmly at the accusation.

It was such a cliche thing to happen. As aware as you were that life wasn’t like the fictional stories of romance that you enjoyed, a part of you still relished the thought of experiencing it for yourself. There was a reason why these kinds of events were heavily romanticized in the media—they held their own charm. It just so happened that you agreed to the notion that getting a proclamation of love from a singer on stage was one of the more appealing choices.

Too bad those don’t go too well in real life.

“But it’s—”

“It’s cliche. Yes, you’ve already told me countless times that it’s not as good in real life. But we all have our fantasies, Y/N. No judgement.” Felix shrugs. “Good for you, though. You are one determined person to bag an actual singer. In a band, no less.”

“You are so—”

“—over. Give it up for Stray Kids!” Lee Minho’s booming voice cut you off again, letting you know that the performance was about to begin.

It started off like normal, with Chan using his drumsticks as a countdown before the instrumental started. Except this time, the song was surprisingly unfamiliar to you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. This wasn’t the piece they practiced when you came over to watch a week ago. You didn’t recognize the song in its entirety either, though it was already proving to be a song that fit right with your tastes. Seungmin’s voice echoing through the space was also adding so much to the experience. 

You let the pride you felt at how well he was doing bloom in your chest. It was great to see him shine after going through the rough process of preparation with him. You watched him passionately go through the song smoothly without any mistakes. From the day you first met him until this moment, you’ve witnessed how determined he was to achieve his goals in life. It was then that you knew you’d always be proud of Seungmin, no matter what. You were already the happiest you’ve ever been just by being by his side.

“Did they change their set?” You asked no one in particular. 

Felix bops his head to the beat, clearly pleased with the song. “Don’t know the song, but it’s great!”

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t agree with him. Though the sudden change in song choice admittedly peaked your curiosity more than it should have. Your eyes found their way back on stage, as if telling you to simply enjoy the performance now and ask later. But it looks like fate had other plans for you, as your eyes immediately locked with a certain lead singer’s.

He left no argument as to who he was looking at. It was clearly you, and you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched at the way his gaze alone held the answer to the question that lingered in your head. There were sparks of electricity being mimicked throughout your body, sending you into a mild shock. Like a scene from a movie, everything else in the world just seemed to go on mute.

All except his voice.

“Before we proceed to the bridge, I’d like to share something about this song. Would that be alright?” Seungmin spoke to the crowd, despite his attention still obviously on you. You could vaguely hear them answering back to him in interest, positively telling him to go on. It was difficult to miss the way his smile grew at this. Seungmin looked so stunning when he smiled. You always felt like falling in love all over again whenever he did.

The band continued with the instrumental, albeit toning it down as their lead singer continued on. “So this song is actually an original from us.” Oh, that makes so much more sense. “And it was written as my confession to the person I like.” 

Wait.

In the fuzz of your brain, you could barely make out Felix jumping up and down in excitement while looking at the scene unfolding before his eyes.

“I’ve been contemplating this for a while, wondering when I’d ever deem it the perfect moment for me to ask the important question,” Seungmin adds. “But I’ve realized that I was just dragging things out too much for my liking. So, to the one who my heart yearns for even through the nerves I’m feeling right now—” You felt overwhelmed at the moment, but you couldn’t seem to take your eyes off the way Seungmin looked at you with such fondness and admiration.

“—Y/N, will you give me the honor to be yours?”

And when your voice sings out the answer, the instrumental starts picking up again as Seungmin finishes the song with newfound fervor. You chuckle your happy tears away, with your friend playfully punching your arm.

“Now, what did I say?”

Maybe cliches weren’t so bad in real life after all.

MASTERTAG ━ STATUS: OPEN — ASK OR COMMENT 🫶

@fairyki @hysgf @euncsace @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @hyunverse @wnbnny @xocandyy @minluvly @moon0fthenight @estellaluna @hanjsquokka @starlostastronaut @minsueng @l3visbby

[chanluster]

the duke and i | m ; f

“The Duke of Hastings can show you much more than what you write of.”

oneshot | bridgerton! au | f2l! au | 32.3k words

s u m m a r y >> wishing to be a successful writer in the regency period seemed next to impossible for the sole daughter of a dead earl. with arising pressures from your mother to tie the knot, you turn to your dearest friend, hwang hyunjin, duke of hastings and the most eligible, scandalous bachelor of the season, for assistance. when he suggests the insane of idea of marrying each other to help each other, you agree to the proposal, unaware of how much the duke can teach you of the wonders of matrimony.

w a r n i n g s >> noble! reader, duke! hyunjin, hyunjin is a fucking rake, reader is a fucking nerd, also really really innocent, hyunjin is sosososo hot, a lot of teasing, foul language too, endearments, sexual tension, kissing, making out, corruption kink!!!!! corruption! fucking! kink! oral (f. receiving) fingering, unprotected sex (stay safe hoemies!!) orgasming on multiple occasions, there is fluff i promise, yes there is angst, also seungmin cameo of him being a drunk fool, and slight references to regency poets and writers here and there

p l a y l i s t >> here!

t a g l i s t >> @fivefootfuryanon @h0eforhyunjin16 @seoulicitae @linoscult @aliceu @hwangi @shipsaremything98 @babyyynatty @kabira @danyxthirstae01 @sunseokkies @lunefilm @severetimetravelnerd @minaamhh @starry--koo @ninjaleeknow @hyunjeonnies @inlovewithasa @titleisyettobemade​ @maedesculpaeusoubi @fleeingreality @healinghyunjin​​

a u t h o r ’ s  n o t e >> help i am back from the dead to finally give you bridgerton! hyunjin!! big apologies for taking so long, and i hope you enjoy this whopper :’) thank you for the constant support, and hope you won’t miss me too much while i’m gone ;)

back to masterlist

YOU TURNED THE PAGE OF YOUR BOOK AS YOUR MOTHER REPEATED THE RULES FOR THE TWENTIETH TIME THAT EVENING.

“And remember,” she droned on, voice barely audible from the din of the carriage ricketing across the cobblestone. “You must dance with as many dukes you can get your hands on. Especially those worth over 10,000 a year!”

“As you say, Mama,” you got out, not particularly focusing on her orders, but the characters in your novel, bickering sweetly with each other. You smiled at the heated conversation, marvelling at how the two people did not realise their undying love for each other.

Unfortunately, your mother caught the slight happiness on your face, and simply had to stample it. “Are you even listening to me, child?”

You hummed out a cryptic answer, but that was not enough. “Stop reading that rubbish, ____!” she ordered, trying to seize it from your hands, but you were too quick, keeping it out of her range. “You have a bigger issue at hand here!”

“Leave me be,” you murmured, hugging the novel to your chest, unable to feel its leather due to your long gloves enveloping your fingers.  

Of course you knew of the ‘bigger issue’ she would not ever stop speaking of. It was another matter entirely that you did not care for it.

“____, listen to me.”

Groaning, you directed your gaze towards your mother, who looked regal in a light golden gown, shawl enveloping her shoulders. “I know you would much rather have your nose stuck in those silly little novels of yours all day, God knows why.” She brought a hand out, planting it on the silk of your lap. “But that may have been excusable before.”

You understood where she was going with this conversation.

Your father is dead now. 

Pursing your lips, you looked out to the tiny window, exposing the other carriages closing up to the huge pathway of the Buckingham estate. The clattering of horseshoes upon the gravel entered your ears, but still could not blank out the information that lingered.

There is no hope for single women in search of a career. Especially if they have no fathers or brothers.

As your own vehicle came to a rest, behind the dozens of others, you held onto your book, a footman opening the door and holding his hand out to your mother. She taking it, you followed suit, dusting away at the dress and tilting your head upwards at the destination.

The Duke of Buckinghamshire could rival the queen herself with his estate — the faded, grey-red brick was alight, orchestral music tuning outside and seducing the guests to enter. Hundreds of windows plastered on the towering walls gave a glimpse of the chaos residing inside, a few couples leaning a little too close behind fans on the sill and men screaming over card game losses. A flourish of men and women adorned in their finest attire rushed to the entrance, the gigantic double doors of the manor welcomed every guest, and you stayed close with your mother as the two of you made your way up the steps, and into the estate.

The interior was even more marvellous — golden chandeliers dangled from the vast, painted ceiling, like glittering diamonds as it shed light on the hallway, servants ready to take any apparel and lead the way to the ballroom. Marble floors glistened as your eyes skimmed over the crowd, looking for a specific person among the riches.

Your mother, finding the host of this ball, patted your shoulder as she began to hurry into the main hall. “Come, my child,” she said as she tugged you along, “I shall reacquaint you with Her Grace.”

Before you could object, the woman rushed into the ballroom, the music louder as the orchestra resided right at the end of the hall, playing its sultry tune to the dancers emerging in the centre. You wished to study the place further, but were turned to face a large duchess of overwhelming dress, red skirts flowing and feathers of the same colour jutting out from her updo. 

“Ah, Lady ____!” the Duchess of Buckingham greeted with a shark’s smile. “Lovely to see you back in society. So soon, might I add.”

You had a right mind to say that it was against your wishes, but your mother chipped in, “You know how it is, Your Grace. When one has an unmarried daughter one can only stay in society until that is undone.”

“Rightly so.” the Duchess brought her fan to her chin, studying you thoroughly. “My sweet, you are a pretty girl.” Her eyes landed on the book you held. “But bringing a novel into a ballroom? Do you not wish to socialise at all?”  

“Perhaps not tonight,” you said with as much disappointment as you could muster. “The Dashwood sisters will entertain me well enough.”

The Duchess could not respond as you bowed lightly and left your mother’s side, rushing past the other men and women of titles before they could converse with you. Your eyes skimmed the crowd, in search of a particular man, but the amount of guests made it incredibly difficult. 

The dancing continued on, laughter ringing throughout the hall as you secluded yourself in a corner, next to the refreshments. The wondrous scent of cakes, pastries and other deserts seduced your senses, but you restrained your temptations as you sat upon an ornate chair placed beside the tables of food. 

An unfamiliar lord, as if waiting for you to be at peace, walked over to your side, and you had to contain your disdain as you instantly deduced the motivations behind his coming over.

Reaching out his gloved hand to you, he asked the most irritable question. 

“May I have the first dance with you, my lady?”

Brilliant. You looked up at him, plastering a tight smile upon your face. “I deeply apologise, sir,” you began, opening your book. “I am afraid my firsts are promised to another.”

Confused, he tried again. “How about the next dance, then?”

Why was he being so persistent? “I shall see,” you replied, not outright rejecting him, but hoping that he understood the implications behind your lack of acceptance.

Beyond puzzled, he hesitantly dipped his head in adieu, wondering at his rejection as he thankfully left you alone.

It was not like you were lying to him — your firsts for everything had been promised to another man. You were just fortunate enough to use that to your advantage.

Glancing over the crowd one last time in search of that particular man, you dove into the novel, hoping he stayed lost in the crowd for the night.

A sad smile exposed itself on your face.

The thought of Jane Austen gaining little acclaim for the writings in your hands crushed you. Maybe that contributed to her publishing anonymously, but still — everyone knew she was the lady behind your favourite works. 

In general, there was simply no other form of joy for you other than reading the works of women. The soul of your gender had only ever been captured by the writings created by ladies of your age and mentality. It almost felt like you possessed a personal connection with them when you read these novels; It felt like that Austen understood you on an emotional level, a degree not many people could comprehend.

You dearly wished you could write such flawless books yourself.

A slight frown enveloped your lips.

As if your mother would let you. Or any man she marries you off to.

Progressing further into the novel, you became so engrossed that you did not notice another man walking to where you were isolated, the soft leather boots near silent on the marble floor. You wished you had perked up at his presence, but you did not realise him there until he got hold of your book.

And snatched it right out of your hands.

A gasp escaped you, features twisting into anger as your eyes followed the origins of such fingers, closing your novel with a snap!

“Of course I see you engrossed in a book rather than in another man’s arms.”

The roll of your eyes was inevitable.

Because before you was the Duke of Hastings, smiling like a pirate finding long-lost treasure.

Your answering grin was more a flash of teeth. “No man is ever as interesting as a good book.”

Clicking his tongue, he plucked a flute of champagne from the table next to you. In truth, Hwang Hyunjin, unfortunately, was one of the most fascinating men you had ever encountered. The greatest giveaway was his appearance — the lean, delicate figure, elevated by his gorgeous features. His eyes, the colour of bitter coffee, shone with mischief as the glass settled on his plush lips, tilting his head back so his lustrous golden curls fell from his shoulders. 

His hair alone sent a shockwave through the city. The gentlemen in society spent their time in the barbers’ salons after his new appearance at Lord Lee’s spring ball, and although they aspired, they simply could not compete. 

Your best friend was a sacred image no being could ever attempt to replicate.

Releasing a dreamy sigh, he propped the empty flute back on the table, dusting away at his cream-coloured tailcoat. The trousers of the same colour hugged his legs perfectly, tightening at his thighs. “Now, ____,” he began, holding out his free hand before you. “It is time for a human being to entertain you.”

You raised your chin in challenge. “And what if I were to say no?”

The scoff that escaped his lips dared you to try. 

“You cannot escape me, angel. Alas, you have promised your firsts to me.”

Grimacing at the truth, you eyed the object he had seized from you, crossing your arms. “What about my novel?” you asked. “I cannot let you discard it in any old place.”

“How about this?” He took a step closer to you. “I will keep hold of it as we dance.”

“And how will you do that, blondie?”

The man narrowed his gaze at the term — a nickname you had established the moment he had revealed his golden locks to you, to his utter dismay. “Well, darling,” he mused, the hand hovering closer, “You are going to have to accept me first.”

First. Always him as your first.

Of course, you were never the one to refuse the Rake of London.

So, making sure you exaggerated as much disdain as you could, you grabbed onto his hand, feeling the determined tug of his hold as he led you to the dance floor. Finding a fairly empty spot among the dozens of other couples, he fully interlocked your fingers with his, snaking the book-held hand around your waist. Feeling the hard leather on your back, you let out a hum of approval as you propped your free hand on his shoulder.

“If you dare drop the book, Hyunjin,” you warned, digging your gloves further into the fabric. “I will tread on your boots.”

His answer was patting your prized possession behind your book. “You worry as if you don’t tread on them anyway.”

As the orchestra began, so did his feet, commencing the dance. 

You saw his eyes wander, pausing at a particular image which made him smirk knowingly at you. “I think you should be worrying more about your mother.”

Fearful, you followed his line of sight. There she was, talking to the other countesses with smiles and frivolous laughter as she pointed to your general direction. Their sons pursued her finger, and as they caught sight of you, you gulped. A small chuckle huffed out of your partner. “I think I might see you engaged at the end of the evening.”

“Do not even utter such words!” you exclaimed. “I will either die a successful writer or die a spinster.”

“You do know you can be an author while you are married,” Hyunjin pointed out, turning you about the room. 

Shaking your head at his statement, you countered, “That could not be further from the truth! Do you remember Lady Andrews?” An absent-minded shrug was his answer. “Well, she lives up north now, but she once confided to me that she wished to be a painter. Guess what happened to her?”

“I assume this is the part where you attack marriage.”

“Yes! Because her life was ruined after she was wedded to some wretched old viscount!” You shuddered depicting the details. “In the last letters she wrote to me, she spoke of her easels and paints being taken away from her. God, it enraged me when she begged the heavens for any kind of assistance to be rid of the man, but after she became with child, there was no escape.”

Sensing your fingers clenching onto him tighter, the duke instinctively patted the small of your back with your book. “I cannot risk such chains, Hyunjin,” you guttered. “I may not have much freedom now, but it is still better than none.”

Allowing yourself to be twirled by your friend, he brought you back into his arms. His silence, although heavy, was temporary, as his eyes settled on you. “Not every man wants to imprison their wife, ____.”

You did not bother remarking on the statement. “What about your own marital status?” you asked, changing the subject slightly. “Have you not found yourself a nice girl from the many you speak to?”

Hyunjin scoffed. “Speak to,” he parroted softly, as if in disbelief. “The ladies that I...merely speak to...their families are a nightmare.” The repetition confused you, but you persisted until he pressed his lips in an unamused line. “I just...do not want to marry these women. I do not feel any sort of affection for them.”

After a moment of quiet, you let out a huff of laughter. “Look at us, blondie.” You gestured to the crowds around the two of you, the chaos of it all. “Both of us are plagued by pressures of matrimony.” 

The music began its path to the crescendo, instruments sounding louder with every second your feet moved in tune to your friend’s. “It seems the value our freedoms too much to sacrifice it forever.”

He did not respond, eyes lost beyond you and the entire ball. His fingers upon yours tightened slightly, feeling the drum of his hands reverberating upon the book latched on your back. You cocked your head slightly, studying his faraway expression, wondering what matter had gained his interest so deeply. It was not an easy feat to gain Hyunjin’s attention.

As the violins sang out higher, the man’s grip on you loosened, almost as he became transported in his mind, losing all grasp on the reality he shared with you. Only when you smacked him lightly on the shoulder did he blink back, staring at you with mild irritation. “Hello?” you said, waving your gloved hand over his face. “Earth to Hyunjin?”

“Ah, um...sorry, angel,” he muttered, looking away as he picked up the pace of the dance once more. “I was just thinking.”

“Of what?” you asked, and when you caught the hesitancy in his gaze you groaned at him. “Oh, do not tell me you are thinking of some poor lady once again!”

“No!” he began, but then he frowned, shaking his head. “Well, yes, I...I suppose I was thinking of a certain lady.”

You grinned. “God help her, then.”

There was another moment of quiet among the buzz of the ball when he spoke again. “____.”

Your stare remained on his face. “Yes?”

As you kept watching him, you witnessed a slight blush arise on his cheeks. “So, um...as you said, correctly, that we both highly value our freedom…”

Not quite understanding, you drawed, “Yes?”

“And of course, you know how we are the best of friends,” he carried on, eyes boring into you, as if you were some child who needed extra explanation. “You know, how everything I would ask of you would be in our best interests.”

A raised brow was your response to his rambling. “Hyunjin…what is the matter?”

He stopped, realising he could not meander any further. Sharp sigh escaping, he proposed a plan which had been haunting his mind since the dance. 

“I think you should marry me, angel.”

The words caused you to still completely. Not a very wise decision, considering the dance was still in motion, resulting in Hyunjin stumbling forward into you. His tugging hands had you continuing, albeit with much more shock. 

“What…” your insides threatened to retch out of your mouth. “What did you just say?”

“No, no, listen to me for a moment!” He clamped his lips together, searching for the right words to argue his point with. “Now I know marriage is something you have disliked—”

“Dislike?” A scoff. “I think you mean absolutely detest!” You saw him almost flinch at your snarl. “How dare you even suggest such a thing to me?!”

“I know, damn it!” he exclaimed, discomfort clear in his voice. “But if you would hear me out!”

“And what is this plan you speak of, Hyunjin?” you seethed, suddenly tempted to ram your heeled slipper into his boot. 

The man looked much in need of escape from this situation, but he merely twirled you about once more, the climax of the music about to begin. “I am very aware of your hatred against matrimony, and believe me when I say that I share in your disdain. Have I not complained of the very ceremony when mothers from every corner of London came to insist for their daughters’ hands?

Grumbling, you nodded. “Exactly, so obviously I must have a good reason why I spoke of this matter.”

“Well, spit it out, then!” you snapped. “It already sounds outrageous.”

With the instruments chanting louder, he commenced. “We both have a dilemma with marriage, especially concerning the burden. Your biggest problem is the freedom being taken from you. Mine is having to live with a woman I have no feelings towards.”

He continued, feet moving quicker and quicker to the melody of the music. “But see, if we wed each other, then those problems would be solved instantly!”

You looked at him as if he was insane. “You do realise that I would still be married. My scrap of independence would be snatched from me anyway.”

“That would be true if you were marrying some silly old lord, who had no interest in you other than your titles.”

His hand on your back pulled you a little closer. “But you see, angel, you would be marrying me.” 

Around and around, the two of you whirled, never stopping for a second to the music. “And you have known me long enough to know that I would never stop you from pursuing your passions.” 

Higher the melody climbed, lost to your ears as your eyes widened. 

His words rang through you with every note that escaped the instruments, sailing through the crescendo that washed over the ball. “You...you would let me write?”

Hyunjin furrowed your brows. “Did you think any different?” he asked, quite offended by your surprise. “Did you really expect that kind of behaviour from me?”

You did not hide your fears. “You may be my dearest friend, but you are still a man.”

That had him twisting his mouth into a scowl. His hands on you clenched harder. “You know me better than that, darling.”

You did, in fairness. The Duke of Hastings, leading you along this dramatic waltz, had been a constant in the entirety of your life. It was in these very balls that he had happened to stumble upon you, a child barely touching your second decade with a children’s book buried in your face. He, the exact same age but with much more excitement, snatched that book from your hands and made you leave your seat, chasing the boy around the ballroom till you burst into tears. After that rather unfortunate event, you vowed never to be in the same room as him, but you somehow ended up being his best friend instead.

Maybe it was because both of you had overbearing parents, driven by pressures of society and personal expectations. Or maybe it was the simple notion that after a while, you began to enjoy his eccentric behaviour and rather addictive smiles.

Perhaps it was better that way, too. For you could not imagine life without Hwang Hyunjin.

Your gaze was apologetic. “I do, blondie,” you supposed, but you steeled yourself once more. “But I have a condition!”

“And what condition would that be?” he asked, swirling you around and around, waiting for the climax to strike any second. The ladies around you were breathless, ecstatic, the gentlemen smug, but you and the duke had only business in your minds.

“Promise me that we remain the same,” you said, never leaving his sight when the music boomed across the ballroom, raw melodies dancing along with everyone within the four golden walls. His grip on you was firm, unflinching as he spun you across the marble floor one last time, dark boots never missing a single note as he nearly swept you away from the chaos of society. “Promise me that you and I will not change.”

And as the music drifted to an end, he finally slowed down. There was a moment of silence, heavier still under his stare. 

“I cannot promise you that.”

His next words sent the strangest sensation down your spine. 

“For we would not be friends anymore. We would be husband and wife.” 

The ballroom erupted into applause.

You blinked back at the new noise, head darting at the couples beginning to clap at the ended dance. Although the others began to depart, the two of you lingered on the floor, hands still clasped. 

His stare never faltered. “I cannot promise you that,” he repeated, slowly shaking his head. “Nor can I guarantee you continuity. 

“What I can promise, though, is that I will not take away your freedom. You may write as much as you wish.”

It was then his hold on you eased, stepping away as he held out the book — never dropped from his hand, but firm as he brought it before you, a silent offer.

“What do you say, angel?” His gaze was impenetrable. “Will you be my wife?”

Among the lords and ladies, there was only you and him.

You and him against the world.

It was difficult, finding allies in a time you lived in. Reminded of your mother, you had a terrible feeling that only doom would fall upon you if you refused his help. 

With good reason, too. No man could match what Hyunjin offered. No man would ever let you pursue your literary passions. 

Not a singular male in this society would ever care for your basic freedom, other than he.

Another first, then. 

So, in the middle of the ballroom, with your mother watching, you held onto the book, gripping it with a firm promise.

You dared not depart from the Duke of Hastings’ stare.

“Yes, blondie.”

You exposed a smile, a mocking quirk in your brow.

“A thousand times yes.”

THE WEDDING HAPPENED QUITE IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT NIGHT.

You insisted the wedding be small and intimate, for the ceremonies were already boring enough, but both your mother and Hyunjin insisted it be a grand occasion. 

The two of you tied the knot at Fulham Palace, a most esteemed estate dating back centuries, adorned in the finest flowers and gifts of nature surrounding its red-bricked walls. You had been there often in your childhood, due to the place being situated at the heart of your friend’s lands outside of the city, but seeing it decorated for your own wedding elevated the speciality of this abbey.

Many of London’s lords and ladies, dukes and duchesses had rushed to your invitation, fawning over the festivities and seated impatiently on the uncomfortable seating to await your arrival. Your friends, some bridesmaids, prepared your hair and fixed your dress, ordering everyone to take their places and sounding the instruments behind the altar to begin playing.

In truth, the ceremony was a blur.

Because this whole occasion was merely a plan, you did not deign to remember the memorable details of each event, the people who came or even the words recited by the priest.

However, the one figure you could not forget was your best friend.

No, you could not forget his face as you walked up to him slowly. It was a sight you had seen him expose only a few times in his life, when he would observe a flower open its petals in the morning, or regard a particular enchanting piece of artwork in an exhibition, which he would refuse to walk away from. You had raised a quizzical brow at him then as you slid the ring upon his finger, but he only offered you a wink, expression fading when the priest addressed you both.

Of course, another little detail you distinctly remembered was the declaration. The words which sealed a woman’s imprisonment.

“I now pronounce you man and wife.”

Your gaze had darted to Hyunjin at that, finding him staring at you already. Meeting his gaze, you found the comfort you hoped you would receive.

The Duke of Hastings will not throw you into the cages of matrimony. 

This very thought had relieved your nerves as you thanked every guest who congratulated you on the wedding, a few friends wiggling their eyebrows and wishing luck for the honeymoon. You waved them off, not really understanding the connotations, but carried on struggling at the reception until the sun had descended, and it was time for everyone to return home. 

That very evening, the two of you set off for this particular honeymoon.

You bid your farewells to your mother, she much too emotional for your liking, and because Hyunjin had no parents to bid his farewells to, the wedding carriage was up and running before the moon had taken reins of the night sky. 

Conversation never ran dry as you journeyed out of the din of London and into the countryside. Your destination was a couple of hours away, so rest was mostly out of the question as the carriage sped on, eager to get the newlyweds to their new home. 

It was well into the night when you arrived at Hemingford Manor, one of the many estates Hyunjin had ownership of ever since his father’s passing. Engulfed within the lush nature of Cambridgeshire, the little estate exuded a comfortable sort of radiance which you would expect from warm fires of winter. The gardens surrounding its walls was a whole maze of trees, bushes and an assortment of flowers, heightening its already ancient regality. 

The arrangements were made immediately, a small household welcoming you at the door as they took your luggage, unpacking everything as Hyunjin showed you around. It was extremely intimate, you noticed, every feature of any room possessing an unusual air well before your time, almost telling a story of theirs from centuries ago. 

He brought you to the bedroom, the grand bed instantly in sight as it’s curtains were fully drawn around its wooden columns, bedsheets black and red with gold thread stitched in swirls at the hems. Two ornate chairs sat beside the windows, and a huge dresser sat opposite the bed, beside it the door to the en-suite bathroom. Oil paintings littered the red walls of his ancestors, noticing your friend’s portrait made in his youth. The entire room radiated warmth, and you found yourself easing completely in his den.

“Well, I guess I should prepare for sleep,” you began, shrugging off your coat, walking over to the chairs and  settling it upon one of the arms. 

Hyunjin blinked back, as if his thoughts had been interrupted. “Ah, yes, of course.” He gestured to the bed. “You can have this room. I can stay in the one next door.”

You looked at him as if he was insane. “Do a husband and wife not share the same bedroom?”

“Well—” the man put his hands on his hips. “Yes, but I do not want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable?” You stepped towards him, quite offended. “Have you forgotten when we would sleep in the same bed whenever I stayed at yours for the summer?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “We were children then, sweetheart. The situation is quite different now.”

“No, it is not,” you countered, matching his stance. “You were my dearest friend before, and you are my dearest friend now. That will always stay the same.”

That certainly quietened his tongue. He studied the stubborn quirk of your lips before sighing, unbuttoning his waistcoat. “Fine,” he quipped. “But I will not hesitate to throw you off the bed if you hog the sheets!”

You only offered him a scoff in response.

As the both of you began to ready yourself for bed, you opened your bag, making sure your papers were still intact. Counting up your drafts, you hummed in satisfaction before tying up the bag once again, setting it beside the dresser. Now, in your white nightgown, you went to the grand bed, slipping into the sheets. 

Grabbing hold of Pride and Prejudice, you continued reading from where you left off as you waited for Hyunjin to be suitably dressed for slumber. You hoped he would take longer than usual, but he disappointed you, as the fool always does, by arriving much earlier, frilled-collared shirt all loose and trousers all slack. 

The minute he saw you reading, he let out a groan. Leaning over, he snatched the book right out of your hands. “Hey!” You exclaimed, trying to take it back, but he stretched his hand away from you, propping it not-so-gently upon his bedside table. “Oh my God, not that harshly, you oaf! The book could tear!”

“I do not care!” He jeered, sliding into the sheets, propping his elbow so his hand supported his head. He swiped his locks away from his face, showing his full irritation. “Having your nose in a book on our wedding night!”

“Mr. Darcy was entertaining me just fine,” you sniped, crossing your arms. “You just had to be a Wickham and ruin the whole experience.”

“If this Wickham is a gift from the Lord Himself, then damn do I accept his name with pride!”

His ignorance made you laugh. Sliding your eyes to him, you matched his position, snuggling further into the pillows. “What does one even do on the wedding night anyway?”

Hyunjin’s amusement faltered at this, plush mouth parting ever so slightly. 

The Duke knew exactly what one does on the wedding night. 

As he raked his gaze over you, you waiting patiently for his answer, he wondered whether he should answer you truthfully. Tell you that he should be towering over you, kiss those pretty lips until they’re swollen and spit-slick, and take off that nightgown and uncover you before the stars. It was only customary, but the thought had his insides churning.

So he decided completely against it, to his absolute disappointment.

“How would I know? It is my first marriage as well.”

“Yes, but you’re aware of the ladies, and the gossip.” You leaned closer to him, unaware that the man’s heart halted for a second at the mere action. “When the guests were wishing me luck on my honeymoon they kept chuckling like children, as if they were in on a secret I was excluded from.”

“To hell with the guests, angel.” Hyunjin patted on your pillows, urging you to put your head down. “Our joining was very different from theirs. We can make our own rules.”

“Finally, an intelligent word from you!” You declared, but yelped as he pressed his hand on your head, sending you to the cushions. “Too harsh!”

“As I said, own rules,” he reminded you, a smile curling his lips. “Now please sleep! It is well past midnight.”

You shook your head no, resting your head in your arms. “Come on, Hyunjin! We have the whole night to ourselves, and you wish to sleep?”

Yes, he very much did. Because if he kept looking at you, excited and giggly and adorable, the tight leash he kept on himself would snap. 

He could not have his hands on you on the very first night. Not when you had no knowledge of what that meant.

“Well then,” he started, using all the strength in him to not curl a stray lock around your ear. “Tell me of your writings.”

His request had you face burning. “Never.”

The man made a face. “What?” He demanded, nudging you with his fingers. “Now you must tell me!”

“No, not now,” you hurried off, hiding your face in the pillows. God, the thought of your friend reading anything of yours made you sick to the stomach. “Argh!”

“But why?” he asked, a beginning of a pout etching onto his lips. “Do you not trust me, even though I have tolerated you for all these years?”

You turned to him again, furrowing your brows. “I do trust you!” You reassured him. “And I will tell you at the right time. Just...not at this moment.”

When you saw a frown develop on his face, you pouted at him, shame coursing through your bones. “To tell you the truth, Hyunjin, I am just embarrassed. It is so rough at the moment, so I want to show you the very best.”

“But I want to see everything,” he muttered. “Your worst and your best.”

“And you will see it!” You reached out, wrapping your fingers around his slender hand. The boy gaped at you at the sudden contact, but you continued. “You will be the first to see my drafts. I give you my word.”

The honest consolation brought the duke to a stillness. Hand enveloped by your fingers, he watched you await his reaction. 

Being the first to see your private writings was truly an asset. A special secret he would never share to another. 

“I wait patiently for that time, then,” he said, offering you a smile which melted your heart. “Now, I beg, sleep!” he added, bringing the sheets up to your chin. “I can tell you’re exhausted.”

Knowing your whining would be of no use, you looked at him through heavy-lidded eyes. “Fine, you absolute bother.” You closed your eyes. “Goodnight, blondie.”

A small chuckle escaped him, never forgetting the hold you had over his hand. He regarded over your resting figure, curling ever so slightly next to him, and he just could not help himself.

Stretching out his other hand, his fingers tucked away your stray locks from your face, curling them behind your ear. The smile ghosted on his lips, and only then he sank further into the pillows.

“Goodnight, angel.”

 MARITAL LIFE WAS NOT AS TERRIBLE AS YOU IMAGINED IT TO BE.

A couple of weeks had passed as this ‘honeymoon’ period progressed in Hemingford, and you were beginning to settle in quite nicely to the peaceful time. The birds never ceased to chirp joyfully around the manor, the nature which engulfed the two of you like another living being surrounding you, silent yet welcoming. 

The scenery was perfect for someone like you, who was waiting for an environment like this to bring out the papers and put that inspiration to use. Hours rushed by as you sat under the trees beside the manor, writing away the scenes in your head as the maids brought you food. A few of those hours may have just been wasted on daydreaming, but that was the beauty of this entire situation — you simply had the time to waste in this retreat. 

Hyunjin had been more than satisfactory: he always came to dine with you for all meals, never concluding conversation, and made sure to accompany you on walks around the lands. Everytime you would step into new landmarks he would instantly recall the history behind it, explaining the work his forefathers had done on the manor, and lead you along till the sun followed you two down the horizon. 

You had initial fears. Just because he was your best friend before, it did not predict what his behaviour would be after marriage. You had heard many marital horror stories during the seasons of London society, and each one was worse than the last. Although you always knew the duke could never hurt you, there was no trusting the opposite sex. Fortunately for you, he rid those doubts from your mind, and maybe you began to have faith in the future.

There was, however, a downside to your new husband.

“Why will you not show me the drafts?!” he whined for the last time, following you into the house. Rolling your eyes for the millionth time, you took off your bonnet, handing it to the maid nearby. “I have waited long enough!” 

“I do not have to explain myself to you!” you argued back, grabbing your skirts as you rushed up the stairs, Hyunjin right at your heels. 

The man was much too quick, overtaking you instantly and barring you from stepping into the hallway. A groan was your reaction. “Let me through!” you ordered. 

“Tell me what your book is about.”

“I am not telling you anything!”

He curved closer to you, blond locks sliding off his shoulders. “Why?” he hissed, and you stayed stubborn as his hand on the bannister snuck closer to yours. “What have you written in there that is so exclusive?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, crossing your arms. 

It was not like you had written an anti-Duke of Hastings manifesto. Once again, it was just your humiliation — although you loved to write, there was absolutely no way you could ever willingly show him your work as of this moment.

You could not have your best friend be disappointed by your creations. 

So you turned completely on your heel, descending down the stairs.

“Hey!” you heard the man shout as you stepped into the entryway, picking up your book. “Where are you going?”

“To talk to the trees!” You looked over your shoulder, making sure to give him a glare.”Because I know they will not argue back!”

Before he could speak any more, you thundered out of the house, taking Pride and Prejudice with you. 

An enraged sigh escaped you, walking rapidly into the maze of hedges as you tried to stroll the anger away. When these silly arguments occurred, you began to wish that you had never told him of your work in progress. You could have just admitted that you liked to write, and feared that any other men would rob you off that hobby.

And on the last day of your honeymoon, too. Maybe you should have told him you were illiterate instead. 

Settling yourself upon the white wooden bench, right beside the forest, you opened up your book, gritting your teeth still as you immersed yourself in the world of Elizabeth Bennet. Although progressing, your thoughts drifted to another man who did not reside in the pages, and you found yourself even more aggravated.

Damned the beautiful bastard. Of course you were going to tell him of your writings. Why could he not simply wait?

The thought had you rigid on the bench as you read on, the mere wind and trees your silent company as you read away your rage. The duke did not come searching for you — it was for the better, because if he tried you would have ran away from his stalking figure. 

Night ascended from the horizons, and as the sun retreated so did you, back into the manor, book at your side. You nodded to the guards who opened the huge doors for you, letting you inside as you went straight for the stairs, void of the man who refused to let you pass.

Dim lights illuminating the way, you walked right up until your bedroom door greeted you, and when you saw Hyunjin, leaned back in the ornate chair as he looked out of the window, you paused at the entrance.

Although your steps were quiet, he turned his head to you. His features held a veil of unreadable emotions, cemented by the slight down curve of his mouth. 

You scowled at him as you stepped inside. “I am not showing you the drafts.”

He closed his eyes, nodding. “As you wish.”

You removed your coat, a brow raising. “I won’t show them to you tomorrow either.”

“As you say.”

Another brow joined its partner. “Nor will I show you them the next week.”

“Of course.”

What was this sudden change? “Hyunjin, are you unwell?”

“I am perfectly adequate, darling.”

The endearment had you frowning further. “Fine,” you muttered, knowing he was hiding something from you. “I will be inside, taking a bath.” 

You were about to enter the bathroom when his voice halted you.

“____?”

Looking over your shoulder, you answered, “Yes?”

The man let out a soft sigh, crossing his leg over the other. “I...I wanted to say that I apologise for my persistence.”

Now that was a statement you were not expecting. You opened your mouth, but closed it, thinking it was for the better, and instead leaned at the doorway.

“I…” he clasped his hands. “I realised that as I insisted and shouted, I was becoming the very man you wished to avoid. That is the last thing I want for us. If you are uncomfortable in showing me your writings, that is fine. A husband, most of all a best friend, should respect that decision.”

His eyes lifted to yours, pinning you with a fierce stare. “I will not persist with you anymore.”

You found yourself unable to break this stare as you, too, locked your hands together, biting your bottom lip at this turnout.

The duke had never apologised for anything.

In the many years you had known him, he would always stand by his decisions, even if they turned out to be disastrously against his favour. His stubbornness refused to let him submit to the other, and you had watched him have his boney backside beaten almost every week for it.

Hearing the plea for forgiveness had certainly changed that perception. 

You took a few steps toward him, willing your hands at your sides as his gaze followed. 

Was the denial really necessary? The poor man only wished to take a glimpse into your mind. Was that too much for him to ask for?

No. You had to stay upright. So what if he apologised? He should have! The man had caused a ringing in your ears from the arguing.

But now, even though the entire time your body repulsed at the thought before, you found yourself reaching for your satchel.

His eyes did not leave your hands as you brought out the papers, dumping your bag beside his feet. You held them out, knowing there is no way out of your actions.

“Here.”

Hyunjin looked at the papers as if they were hemlock. “Why are you showing me your drafts?”

You pursed your lips. “Because I want you to eat them.”

“I have no appetite for paper this evening, I’m afraid.”

The attitude had you warning, “Do you want to read it or not?”

He regarded you with an adorable puzzlement. “Darling,” he started, and the word had you raising it closer to him. “You do not have to show me. I cannot have you forcing to do something which you do not—”

“You’re not.”

He paused. Kept that beguiling stare upon you. You carried on, “Hyunjin, I need you to understand that it was never anything personal. It was me just...not really believing in myself.” Gently putting the small stack of papers in on his lap, you locked your hands behind your back. “But I gave you my word on our wedding night. And the day you proposed, and the day I realised you were a dear friend to me.

“You will be my first for everything. Especially in the goals and dreams I treasure the most.”

The duke’s eyes enlarged, darting to the drafts settled on his thighs and then to you, capturing your lip between your teeth in nervousness. He wished ardently that you would break that habit, for if you kept at it he might just grab your face and continue for you.

My first for everything. The declaration had his stomach turning in on itself. He knew he had been there for many of your firsts, but saying it out loud was something else. Saying it out loud meant you were aware of that fact as well. 

So unimaginable, that you did not even realise the impact you had on him. So unbelievably innocent, eyes searching for his answer, desperate for consolation, when he had completely different matters in mind. 

By God, if you did not turn around and leave him, he would let the control on him falter.

“I...I need to take a long bath, Hyunjin,” you said, finding his stare unusually penetrating. “By the time I am done you would have finished reading half of it.”

Turning, you stalked back to the bathroom, looking over your shoulder as you took a step inside. “No sweetening the feedback.”

You did not wait for his answer as you went inside, shutting the door.

Both of you, not realising that the other was doing so, let out a quivering sigh.

Something was amiss. 

There was this...tension. You did not know the origin, but you knew it was there, underlying and creeping closer. Hyunjin was unusually quiet. Compliant even. A small part of you feared that maybe you should not have given him the most vulnerable possession in your care.

Deciding to fill the hot water in the bath yourself, you got on with your task, filling buckets of water in the copper bathtub till it nearly overflowed. Once done, you got rid of your clothes, and stepped inside. You instantly relaxed as the warmth of the water soaked your skin, calming your nerves, which were running high moments before. 

As you progressed with using the soap, you distinctly heard the pages turning in the room next door. Scrubbing yourself, you hoped that the man was enjoying your words, or else you were never leaving this bathtub again. 

At one point, you leaned your head back, closing your eyes as the water, now mixed with the scent of roses, lapped lazily against you. Your thoughts, once again, wandered to the man a wall away from you — what was he thinking? You wished you were there beside him, witnessing his reactions to the actions, dialogue, romance you had added in there.

Maybe that was the real problem. The couple you had added in this story had a strong relationship, but because you yourself had never experienced any sort of star-crossed love, you did not particularly know how to portray the raw romance. Still, you made sure they held hands in the ballroom at chapter 49. That was the pace in every other book you read, anyway.

After what seemed like a whole night later, you finally got out of the water, drying yourself with the towel hanging beside the tub. Grabbing your white nightgown, you donned the light dress, keeping it as loose as possible as you tried to dry your hair further, opening the door.

When you looked up, you saw the duke, head down, scanning through the papers with a face so focused it worried you. You made to say his name, but his hand shot up, silencing you. He did not even glance at your figure, bringing the hand back to swipe a finished page. 

A little smile appeared on your lips. Is he...invested? 

Does he enjoy your writing?

Another ten minutes of observing him, and he put the last paper down. 

Slowly, he tilted his head upwards, turning to where you stood. His face expressed something cryptic — unable to decipher the emotion which swirled beneath his dark, glinting eyes. 

He then let out a scoff.

“Darling, I need you to sit.” He gestured beside him, on the edge of the bed. “Right here.”

Perplexed, you obliged, settling yourself on the soft sheets, watching him heave off his chair, the last piece of your draft still in hand. He began a pace back and forth across the room, shaking his head as he turned at every end.

The pacing began to concern you. “Hyunjin, is something the matter?” you asked, hands grabbing tufts of your nightgown. “If you really wish to walk then you have all of Cambridgeshire waiting.”

“Tell me, dearest,” he said, still thundering across the room. “Remind me why you did not want to show me your drafts.”

That was an usual first comment. “Umm...because I was embarrassed about my writing?” 

Your answer made him stop. Whirl to your direction.

“Ah, yes!”

His features twisted into anger.

“Such poppycock!”

You blinked back. “I-pardon?”

“No, you shall not be pardoned!” he exclaimed, pointing at you with the stash of papers. “Not when you have written something like this!”

“Hyunjin, what do you mean?”

The man nearly ripped his hair out. 

“____, you have written a bloody masterpiece!”

Your entire body stilled.

“I...I did what?”

“Wrote a masterpiece!” He swiped through the pages, lighting up at each word that passed his gaze. “A bestseller! An award winning novel!” 

A smile worked its way onto your lips. “You...you really think so?”

Sighing out in exasperation, he set the papers upon the desk as he began to lose his initial anger. “How could you be embarrassed about something so beautiful?” He put his hand on the gold chair, leaning onto its head. “Your descriptions were lovely, the characters are perfectly imperfect. You have outdone a lot of the writers in circulation.”

Your shoulders sagged a little — almost as if you had been carrying a heavy burden, and this man had taken it off of you.

You made sure he saw your joy when you said, “Thank you, blondie.”

Seeing the pure contentment upon your face had your friend looking away, eyes narrowing to the plans once again.

“There was, however, one thing which needed improvement.”

The setback had you straightening once again, eager to hear. At least he was not sweetening it fully. “Go on.”

“As I was reading through, right till the end, I noticed a lack of very important details.” 

That was quite strange. “A lack of?” you asked, when you were so sure that you had added too much of everything.

“Yes.”

His fingers drummed against the velvet of the chair. His other hand tightened upon his hip.

“I noticed that there was a deep lack of...passion.”

An incredulous look was your reply. “Passion?”

“Yes, passion. Desire.” He jerked his head towards the papers. “I hardly saw any of those emotions in the book.”

This new information was certainly quite worrying for you. “But I do not understand,” you started. “My whole novel is based on this relationship, of the love that blossoms and grows—”

“I understand that, darling, I really do,” he said. “I know what you are going to say.” 

The drumming continued. “But where is that residing in the chapters? Where is that physical lust implied in the characters?”

Lust. 

You had heard of the word before. Heard of its implications, yet never grasped the weight of its meaning. Was it just another form of longing? 

If only your mother had given you an education on this side of love.

“What do you mean...lust?”

Hyunjin raised a groomed brow. “What else could I mean, angel?”

The way he voiced that question, that endearment, had you parting your mouth, unable to say anything. You tried to speak, to say something to ease the tension which came slithering back into the bedroom.

“I...what were you expecting? From the relationship.”

Curling his locks behind his ear, his gaze became obscure. “You spoke of forbidden love, of...of a coupling which should not be occurring but happened through the fate of the universe. Is that right?”

When you nodded, he carried on. “See, I did not sense that from their exchanges. Their emotions are tame, chaste. An innocence which cannot be tainted.

“Now where is the fun in that?”

You dared not break his gaze. “What is that ’fun’?”

His eyes seemed to darken. “That ‘fun’ in the relationship is physicality. Where is that in your novel?” 

He took a step towards you. “Where are the unbreaking stares? The curious hands, aching to caress another’s? Where are the trembling breaths, the lust-stained sighs that fan lovers’ lips?”

The duke had you craning your neck back as he looked down at you. “Where are the kisses, my darling?”

You gulped. “K-kisses?”

“Yes, kisses,” he repeated softly. “Lips enveloping lips, tasting your inner workings? Travelling to your neck, your collarbone...places which cannot even be whispered in polite society?”

Each part he mentioned had goosebumps pricking at that certain place. 

The bastard still did not stop. “Where is that passion, ____? Where is that forbidden love, which only makes the heart burn wilder?”

And as he descended before you on his knees, delicate hands settling on your lap, you had a feeling swirl up your sides which had never struck you before.

“If I were the man in your book, I would not be tame with you.” 

His eyes offered a new, intimidating darkness. “Because if you were my woman, then I do not think I’d control myself. The moment I’d catch the innocence dancing in your eyes, I’d have waltzed it away into my shadows.

“Only God could save you from my hunger, then.”

Silence descended upon the two of you.

One waiting for the other to speak, and the other unable to form the words to do so.

The moon had illuminated your husband, one side of his face glowing like a celestial being, the other side basked in darkness. How strange, when he had compared himself to it just a few moments before.

You seemed unable to look away from him. His gaze, always intense, now had become so penetrating you wondered whether he could glance at your soul, quivering from his feedback. 

Improvements which you still did not quite comprehend, despite the implications.

Somehow, he could see it on your face. “I have a feeling you still do not grasp the idea. Is that correct?”

A half nod. “I…” God, speak! “I just...I have never understood it, Hyunjin.”

Your head dipped down, darting at the plains of your hands. “You asked me about lust, and I simply cannot answer because I do not know. I have never experienced such emotion.

“Hell, I have not witnessed a single action that you spoke of. How could you expect me to write of desires I have never even felt?”

This.

This was unchartered territory. This was a terrain you had not explored with him.

Yes, he was your best friend. But one does not talk of such...dangerous conservation when your best friend happens to be a male — a complete rake, at that.

It seemed as if the rake, too, was thinking the same. 

His legs, a force which had never let him down, threatened to buckle under him. His mouth opened, only for silence to answer you. 

Lord and all His subjects help him. He did not think he could contain it any longer.

And as his eyes exposed you, vulnerable before him, he only knew of one thing — one fact within this ocean of uncertainty you swam in.

He would jump into the waters for you. But not to haul you out to safety.

No, the duke would drag you down further, with him as your sole saviour.

Or even your destroyer. Your fated undoing.

For the Duke of Hastings will absolutely ruin you, body and soul.

“Hyunjin?”

A blink.

A singular action, dragging him back to dark, dark reality, even sweeter than his fantasies as it sat before him, shy and wide-eyed.

An innocent reality all for him to defile.

“Yes, angel?”

You tried not to shudder at his lilting whisper. “How am I to be helped?”

The man did not even think of the possibilities, to your surprise.

If only you knew, how long he had kept them hidden for.

“How about...how about I assist you?”

Confusion washed over your features. “And how would you assist me, Hyunjin? You have never written a novel.”

His answer was a chuckle, revealing slight glimpses of his teeth as he stood.

“That is true, yes.”

Sitting down beside you, he planted his hands behind him on the bed, leaning into the position. 

“But what I can provide aid for is the one feature you lack in your writing.”

His voice right behind gave you a fright.

“Pure, raw lust.”

Looking over yourself, you watched him reclined in ease. Your speech was uneven as you said, “And...and how will you help me with that?”

“Simple, my darling.” A pause, looking you over. “I shall provide you with examples. Show you what truly happens between a man and woman when all they yearn for is each other.”

He saw the further questions in your gaze. The questions you dared not voice out loud, perhaps dared not understand. 

Smirking, he sat himself up, eyes never leaving yours as his hands encircled your own, bunched up in your dress. As his fingers brushed against your linen he felt his skin go aflame. 

“If, of course, you would let me.”

Tilting your head slightly upwards, you sensed a foreign warmth envelop your face, burning at the sight of your friend studying you like an empty canvas, begging to be filled.

Perhaps you were an empty sheet of paper, waiting to be painted with guidance by the master. Maybe that master was beside you all along.

“What will you do to me, Hyunjin?”

There it was. The question which may have been his drug — his purest form of opium. 

Because when his hands travelled upwards, sliding to your face and imprisoning you with his stare, he knew he would become addicted.

“Not only show you what real passion looks like.”

A shame he did not care for his well-being when you were so fucking tempting.

“But show you what real passion tastes like.”

The shuddering breath that left you caressed Hyunjin’s lips, and he debated throwing the whole course of patience out of the window, and ravage you this second.

But he would never do that. Not unless you asked him to. 

“May I?” He whispered, eyes heavy lidded. The need for an answer was beyond rationality.

You looked at him one last time before you let your heart answer for you.

“Show me, Hyunjin. 

Those three words were all it took for the duke to close the distance. 

Close the final space which had stayed so irritably prevalent, when he brushed his lips against yours. 

The first thought that came to mind was how soft his mouth felt. 

Plush lips, moving against yours with the utmost gentleness; as if testing the waters, familiarising their new surroundings. He did not know what to expect, which was a thought that shocked him. Had he not bedded half of London to know the ins and outs of how a man should pleasure a woman?

Still, his vast knowledge could not prepare him for you and your shy acceptance.

His fingers cradling your jaw, satisfied, he delved in a little deeper, the weathered leash beginning to loosen as he found his opium upon your mouth.

You attempted to follow his actions — letting him lead the kiss as if it were the many dances you had partaken with him, treating this as yet another waltz you both had to share. The issue was, dancing never brought you the unnerving thrill that these ministrations did.

Hyunjin’s kisses were quite indescribable. 

When he tilted your head with the pressure of his fingers, gaining the fullest possible access to your lips, he thought his heart would burst from his chest. So compliant, you were, trailing after his actions. His pleasure heightened when he felt your heartbeat race beneath his fingertips, which resided just underneath your jaw. 

He would have been a happy man if he continued the kiss forever, but he forced himself to break away, remembering that this was your first, that you were not acquainted with the dance of passion. His gaze pried over your features, and a famished smile nearly broke upon his face.

He found you shivering beneath his grasp.

Lips glistening, courtesy of his own, eyes wide and skin warm, there was no other reaction which the duke would have savoured more. A fearful excitement resided upon your beautiful face — almost as if you were scared of yourself, of the feelings he ignited within you.

The man was not far from his prediction. You were positively terrified.

Terrified of the fire-like emotion that threatened to turn your stomach in on itself. It was an extraordinary sensation — as if you were engulfed by some unknown, mysterious fire, and Hyunjin was the one sparking it to life.

You parted your mouth, trying to speak but to no fruition. 

And him, whose eyes grew darker at the lack of words, curled his fingers to your jaw, smirking. “I can hear your heartbeat from here, darling.” A singular finger tapped against the spot, where your blood pumped quicker than usual. 

Your heartbeat thrummed in your ears too, making you all the more aware of the situation — you may not know what these feelings were, but you needed to find out.

It was not entirely your fault. A writer must do their research, after all.

Painfully swallowing the lump in your throat, you made yourself speak, asking the questions which haunted you. “Is...is this all?” you got out.

Hyunjin slanted his head a little, narrowing his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“You know…” your hands instinctively reached for your lips. “What we just did. Is that all that happens?”

The hesitation had him chuckling, the shaky exhale caressing your mouth. “Do not pretend that you were unaware of kisses,” he mused, and you desperately tried to look away. 

The slight grip on your jaw had you unable to do so. “And as for your question…” the smirk remained. “We have barely touched the surface.”

His other hand skirting downwards, it grazed along your collarbone, tumbling to the free space at your side. It settled itself among the bunched linen, holding you steady. 

“I can show you more,” he whispered. “If only you wish it.”

Face burning further, you closed your eyes, letting your head dip in acceptance. You could not even think at this point — you were curious. Beyond intrigued, wondering whether these feelings would swell up more, take you into another reality farther from your imagination.

It was a slight inconvenience that Hyunjin shook his head. 

“No, my darling,” he said softly, the fingers on your jaw sliding to your chin. “I want you to say it. Say you want more.”

You had not the slightest idea what this ‘more’ was, but you sure wished to discover — judging by the ravenous gleam in your husband’s stare, he wished for you to find out too.

“Fine then, Hyunjin…” one last pause ensued. “I...I want more.”

The said-man let a small groan escape before capturing your lips again. 

He knew he was being selfish — almost pouncing on you like a man starved, grip on your side tightening as he quickened his pace, slowly prying your lips open.

When you felt his tongue skim along the seam of your mouth, you found yourself opening up to him, shocked at the sudden enthusiasm. Your hands, unoccupied, fumbled at your lap, unsure of their use until Hyunjin, his own hands leaving you, held onto them. 

With precise direction he placed them on his shoulders, all the while slithering his tongue inside. You found yourself gripping onto him harder as he explored you, he himself nearly transcending at your yielding. A groan threatened to escape, but was drowned out by his mouth, closing over yours and kissing you insane. 

His tongue worked wonders within you, swirling along with yours, desperation increasing with every time you complied with his actions. He opened your lips a little wider, sliding his tongue along your bottom lip, and you could not contain your moans any longer. The whimpered replies had him tugging on your lip, slowly sinking his teeth on the swollen flesh. Your fingers could not grasp harder, the lock around his neck tightening with a growing need.

Is that what it all was? Urgency? What was this need for?

You hoped with all your heart that Hyunjin would know.

He pulled away from your mouth, and with gasped breaths, he got out, “Angel, may I—” His thumb caressed the corners of your lips, trailing down to your neck. “May I kiss you here—?” 

The second the ragged yes escaped, the man’s mouth began peppering little kisses along his finger’s trail, leaving your skin burning with every touch. Dipping his head into your neck, he tugged down the neckline of your gown, settling on your collarbone. The hem descended to your shoulders, threatening to fall at your waist. 

His kisses did not falter, even when you gasped out his name, a soft cry which only grew when his teeth grazed at your skin. Pain bloomed at the touch, but the feeling did not last long, replacing it with his tongue lapping up the mark. The dull ache remained, yet forgotten as he created a pattern of these stinging sensations.

“____,” he whispered upon your skin, a hypnotic chant which only had you whining in response. His mouth skimmed right up to your ear in frantic. “I...I must show you even more.”

You stilled completely. “E-even more?”

Hyunjin’s eyes did not leave yours as his hands travelled down, holding onto your sides. Slowly, he tugged you forward, your body merely following as he laid you down into the bed. Your heart hammered as he towered over you, the loose shirt revealing a glimpse of his chest, and his locks, drooping down to your face.

Your hands held onto the sheets. The gesture had him melting, so endeared by your little scares. What would you know of what will follow?

His idle fingers began to roam. With every shuddering breath they journeyed further below, until they found the hem of your nightgown. He held onto the fabric, slowly sliding it upwards. 

You hissed slightly at the cold that welcomed your bare legs, but it was overshadowed by his warm caresses, every touch causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. Or something of the sort. That was what it felt like to you, anyway, with how out of place the reaction was. 

You asked him as his fingers paused, right on the edges of your upper thighs. Confusion, mixed with an overwhelming sensation, washed over you with every phantom touch. “What are you—” you paused as his hand tugged your legs open, ever so slightly. “What are you to do with your fingers?”

His answering gaze had you praying for the Lord. “How about I show you instead?” The contact lingered. “I promise it will feel wonderful.”

There was no other answer you could offer him. A hasty nod could only suffice as, with that signal, the duke braced himself for what he had been dreaming to do.

Nothing prepared you for the feeling of his fingers past your thighs. 

Your breathing hitched as they teased against your entrance, running slowly along your slit. He collected the arousal which pooled at the apex, mouth agape from your reaction. 

How you were drenched for him. 

The very sight, and the prolonging idea, had the man exhaling sharply. Even now, he could see in your gaze — you were unaware of your own responses, your body’s hurried joy as it begged for his fingers to delve in further. 

Tonight, he would show you a glimpse of his fantasies. 

His one finger slipped inside you, and you felt the world turn.

Slowly, so painfully slow it slid between your folds, completely halting your breath as you gaped at him. He held your stare with a dark intensity — no doubt there was hesitation on his part, scared his control would shatter, terrified he would submit to your desire and break you under his hold. Already the thought was so appealing. 

Still, he kept his fantasies at bay, holding your face like a fragile artifact as he delved deeper. A soft moan escaped your lips, and he cocked his head, realising it was a whine you tried to contain. 

“Angel, please,” he murmured, and when he paused on his journey you looked at him in desperation. “Don’t be shy with me.”

And then, grip on your side tightening, he began to pull his finger out.

This time, it was impossible to restrain. 

A heightened gasp shuddered out of you, gripping onto his shirt. How could an action so simple be so electrifying? The idea could not make any sense, but it did not need to when it brought such pleasure. You pulled on the fabric harder, elevating Hyunjin’s joy at seeing you so bothered.

“Yes, just like this,” he cooed, repeating the movement. This time, though, he quickened the pace as he began peppering little kisses upon your face. Each brush of his lips was like fuel to the fire below, growing angrier with every leisured plunge. “Say it all for me.”

You did not need to be told twice. 

Your whines grew as he quickened, foreign waves of mysterious origin overtaking your body. You feared his singular finger might be enough to do something drastic, but then his thumb started to wander. When he found your clit, he created a slow pattern of circling the bud, causing you to squirm beneath him. 

Seeing him above you was all too much — you needed his lips upon yours, needed to be lost in his tongue or else you would lose your mind. “H-hyunjin,” you stammered out, and the dazed expression had him reeling. “Please...please kiss me.”

He nearly moaned at the request itself. There you were, asking for his touch. His delirium spoke for him, letting his delusion a little astray. “But darling,” he muttered, leaning his face closer to you. “How can I watch you like this if I simply kiss you?”

Releasing his finger till the mere pad remained, he smiled at your panting. “How will I be able to watch you when I do this—” and brought two digits inside you.

He felt your walls pulsate around him, and he revelled in your reactions, the groans that followed with his delving. So, so compliant. So wonderfully welcoming, when all he did was touch the surface. 

Your speech was all muddled, broken words and half-prayers as his fingers worked within you. As if that was not enough, he curled them inside, and there, he brushed against a spot which had you seeing stars. You could hardly stay still under his grasp, squeezing your legs together. 

“Fuck,” he slipped out, and the curse itself had you fisting your hands in his shirt, damning the turnout if it were to tear. “Sweetheart, it’s okay to let go, keep those legs open.”

Further fastening his labour, you found yourself developing the most intense feeling in your gut — like a dark, swirling ball, aching to be released. You tried to raise your head to kiss him, but he only did the same, you barely missing him.

“Hyunjin!” You gasped out, and the said-man knew that no orchestra could compete with the music you tuned for him. Grabbing clumsily onto his collar, you tried with meak strength to bring him down. “Something...it’s wrong, something is amiss—”

You cut a glance down, where your cunt was more than occupied with his digits. “Wh-what am I feeling?!” In a frenzy you stared at him again, tears pricking your eyes. “Why do I feel—”

The duke only shushed you, a gaze akin to affection being offered to you as he trailed a slender finger upon your cheek. “Oh, sweet angel,” he whispered, voice a little breathless.

“That is me keeping my promise.”

And when he finally swooped your lips in a heart-wrenching kiss, fingers never stopping below, you let the overwhelming feeling take over. The aching was freed, and you broke away with a cry as you released onto him, spilling onto the sheets. 

Hyunjin commenced a trail of sweet kisses upon your face, slowing his work inside you. Lethargy washed over you, and you barely sensed him slip his fingers out until the hollowness of your cunt welcomed you in his stead. 

Through heavy-lidded eyes, you watched him as he brought the two digits to his parted mouth, sucking softly on the skin. A low noise hummed out of him, and you found yourself growing warmer all over again.

He caught you looking at him, and he slipped his fingers out with a pop!

“Truly divine, you are.”

Skin burning, you quickly shimmied your nightgown down, earning a chuckle from your husband. “That was…” you began, and you did not know why the thought made you so flustered. 

“Do not worry your pretty mind, sweetheart,” he reassured you, flicking your nose. “Your release was answer enough.”

That only had you all the more embarrassed. “Hyunjin?”

His eyes rooted to yours. “Yes?”

“Was this…” you paused, trying to find the right words. “Was whatever we did...everything? Was this the end?”

Despite the two of you only finishing now, the duke had his gut turning in on itself all over again. This time, he let patience take over. He had been rewarded more than enough.

He still answered with a hushed tone, offering you another vision. Another promise, which he intended on fulfilling even further. 

“Of course not, angel. This was merely the beginning.”

 THE NEXT MORNING SAW THE TWO OF YOU IN LONDON.

It was a much more gradual journey than the previous one, with all the time in the world to go back to the duke’s main estate, where he was called to work after weeks of leisure. You, first indignant, were now devastated to leave Hemingford, a place which became a special haven in such a short time. 

But of course, one could not neglect their husband. Not when that husband would never let you leave his side.

Hyunjin was all eye-smiles in the carriage, hands refusing to let go of you despite your complaints. You did not particularly mind, but when he resorted to kissing you with the curtains drawn, your levels of embarrassment nearly broke the scale, amusing him to no end. 

There was no stopping him, though. After taking the first heated step with you, the vault of restraint in his senses had cracked. All this time he had proceeded with caution, but your heightened whimpers of the night before had undone the cellar of his desires. 

Once again, you had experienced another first with him. A first which he wanted to conquer for a long, long time.

Unfortunately, business called, or else he would have stayed a few weeks more. Damn the men begging his presence, when he could have explored every layer of your innocence in that manor, revelled in ruining you of your ignorance. 

He thought he had time to show the world of pleasure. 

Alas, the fantasy he created in his Manor had to fade.

Reality crashed upon the two of you unfairly quick — there was not a moment’s rest as you arrived at Lansdowne, the official estate of the Hwang family nestled in Mayfair. It was more an enchanting palace than a home, every room, furniture and painting like pieces out of a fairytale. You could never forget the first time you entered, knowing that despite your previous comforts, you were to be spoiled in this abode. 

The unfavourable situation which turned out from this was that your husband was not present to spoil you in his royal den.

As the days began there, with banality taking over, the two of you barely had any occasion to spend some time together. Business sunk its claws into the duke, refusing to show mercy. All the days and most nights, he managed tenants on his lands, heard their complaints and attempted to provide solutions. 

The problems arose while he was away tending to you in your getaway, his subordinates incapable of handling the work he did so effortlessly. It frustrated Hyunjin to no end, when he had to learn these strategies since his adolescence, yet his employees, far older than him, could not manage to use his funds efficiently. 

Although this meant time was sparse together, you did not mind so terribly. Having solitude meant having opportunities to write, and so you threw yourself into your drafts. You revised the more intimate scenes between your couple, and dared write down your first experiences onto the page.

Even documenting the occurrence had your stomach fluttering — when he kissed you delirious, going as far as slipping his fingers inside you. It felt like a delusion in your mind, scared that you merely created such events through your imagination, but you could not not make up such passion.

Hwang Hyunjin had shown you a very tangible fantasy.

It was these memories that kept you company as you penned down your world, a couple thousand words being scrawled on paper everyday. You wished to talk to him about taking matters further with your novel, but whenever the two of you had the occasional dinners you could not bring yourself to address the subject. He was already so occupied, and dumping your own tasks on him would devastate you

So you secluded yourself into your room, and only wrote.

Few weeks into Lansdowne, and you began to miss him.

You did not know how this feeling entered, but the moment it crawled into you it was all you could endure. It was not uncommon for you to miss your dear friend, even before marriage, but now that you lived with him, the situation changed. During the afternoons, when you burned your mind from the constant writing, you longed for his presence; conversation never ran dry when he was around, and the maids who offered refreshment were hardly an alternative.

Your longing, unfortunately, did not stop there.

Ever since that fateful night, you failed in shaking off the ever present tingling. His midnight eyes, akin to the devil, haunted you in isolation, and the sheer image of his full lips quickened your heartbeat. In fact, when you wrote a similar recount into your writing, the incident came into your mind so clearly you had to abandon the task altogether. The familiar wetness pooled at your core, and you cursed the heavens for being weak.

His fingers had an everlasting impression on you.

That was a whole other problem — you and Hyunjin, because of his tightening schedule, hardly had any opportunity to explore further of what happened. Teasing words and stolen kisses were your only alternative, and you dared not ask of him to do more. Your cowardice may have been one of the main reasons, but he was another factor of your silence. The man came home every night, so exhausted that even requesting to have him satisfy you brought you shame. He was much too tired, and you could not be selfish.

So you did not bother him. Let him leave every morning, and imagine what would be if he did not have so many responsibilities.

However, another couple of weeks later, and the need became unbearable.

Your every thought and feeling was replaced with this...this urgency. It was horrifying to you, never having been forced to such extremes, but it preyed on your mind like a beast. Meaningless tasks turned into burdens, sleep was lost, and your very heart threatened to burst from the intuitions. You wished to stop, but once you remembered that phantom touch, it was over. There was simply no alternative.

During those times, you could barely look at Hyunjin, offering you tired smiles as he disappeared into your chambers. You figured he did not notice, or else you knew he would make a comment on your worsening state. Truthfully, you were overjoyed that he was too exhausted to see you like this. If there was any chance he was aware, that alone would kill you off.

But this desire, too, was slowly withering you away.

Even as the sun began to descend, birds singing softly beyond your intricate window, soon to be drawn to a close. The library was bathed in gold from the light, painting your face as you attempted to write the last of the chapter, but to little success. 

You figured your creativity had had enough of being stuck in your bedroom, so you opted for a change of scenery, but the parasite was at hand, churning just below your stomach. Even with the thousands of books settled all around you, radiating their knowledge, the ache remained, dull yet present. You scowled, pushing the pencil harder in your hand.

The poor lead broke suddenly, making you flinch. “Argh!” you let out, throwing the object upon the desk. Useless — you were so utterly useless, reduced to a mold of nerves, growing with each image that passed in your head.

Cursing, you put your hands in your lap, looking to the gardens beyond the window. 

There is nothing you can do, ____.

The need arising, you slid your palms back, enough so they rested over your core. 

A dangerous thought entered your mind.

That’s not true. There is one solution.

Your eyes widened.

Of course, there was always that alternative. Glancing down, you involuntarily pressed your palm to your clothed cunt. Already a wave of pleasure washed over you, and you suppressed any sound with a hand to your mouth.

You cannot. By God, you cannot do such a thing.

Especially in a bloody library.

Turning around, you glanced at the bookshelves guarding your figure, stretching to the painted ceiling. As an aspiring writer yourself, you cursed yourself for suggesting to do such an action in your temple, with the place your church and the books your Bible. 

However, when the ache begins to creep over, your morality seemed to fade at first flight. 

What a shame your brain was not to be listened to.

Shooting up from your chair, you nearly fell to the plush carpet, leaning against the desk. Gradually, you took a step forward, and another, searching for any secluded area among the lines upon lines of populated shelves. 

“Where is it, where is it,” you mumbled to yourself, passing the Greek Literature aisle, moving further into the darker section. When you spotted the end of the library, you turned to a dim lit section of Romantic poets. “Aha!” You exclaimed, finding the place you were searching for.

This particular section has been a favourite little hiding place for Hyunjin. Recalling the memories, you always caught him here whenever the two of you played hide-and-seek, or when to comfort him here after a particularly harsh spat with his father, the late Duke of Hastings. Above all else, he found himself isolating here whenever he wished to read by your insistence, finding solace in the words of Blake and Wordsworth, picked up on the shelves. 

You, on the other hand, did not come here to read. 

Backing up against the wall, you let yourself fall to the lush carpet. There was barely enough space to stretch your hands apart, feeling the wall on one side, and the bookshelves with the other. It was small trouble, though, as space was not the priority — simply distance. 

Thankfully, you had time — dinner would be served in about an hour, and the servants had been told not to disturb you as you ‘write’.

It was now or never.

“Lord forgive me.”

Grabbing onto your skirts, you raised them upwards, along with your petticoats. After undressing your pantalettes, your white stockings came into view, ending right above your knees, tied with baby pink ribbons. 

With your underwear gone, you felt the cold caressing your dripping cunt. Immediately your fingers rushed to swipe at the arousal that pooled onto the carpet, a hiss escaping your lips. Then, moving higher, you felt the swell of your clit, and began to rub circles, so, so slowly — just like Hyunjin did, exactly like his fingers did.

The ripples of pleasure crashed over you with every swipe of your fingers. It was the most wonderful feeling, experiencing it after a span of weeks. Yes, somewhere in the back of your rational mind, you knew you looked pathetic, whining softly from your own efforts, but your desperation took over; you had been patient long enough.

Your desire, however, had no such moments to waste with such gradual rubbing, so pent up inside you that it forced you to quicken your pace. You prayed that no one heard you, for the sobs that flew out your mouth increased, playing and teasing your clit till it nearly numbed you.

The real bliss poured out when you plunged two of your fingers into you, going deeper and creating that identical pace, relished before. You closed your eyes, and images came flashing back — the midnight eyes returned, along the malicious grin, and suddenly it was not your fingers that pulled and pushed into your cunt. Your mind dared to conjure up Hyunjin, his dark laughter ringing in your ears as he curled his fingers into you, reaching a spot which had you seeing the seven heavens. 

So far along, you did not care if the others heard. With your concoction before you, fingering you delirious, you called out his name. A panted “Hyunjin!” squealed out of you, the word laced with madness. How you begged for release, when it was actually in your control.

And maybe you would have come all over your fingers at that moment. Maybe that was a fantasy that would have been rewarded to you if reality had not been so unkind.

For it was reality that arranged a presence turning to his favourite hiding spot. For it was cruel, cruel reality, bringing at your secret aisle the very man who caused your current frenzy.

Hwang Hyunjin. 

Sweet Duke of Hastings, who thought to surprise his wife and return home early, so he could join her at dinner this evening. Curious Duke of Hastings, who found the servants informing of your ‘work’ in the library, and so walking to you himself, expecting the distant sound of sighs and scribbles on paper. 

Shocked Duke of Hastings, when he heard his name instead, being moaned at the end of his library. 

His pupils dilated, gloved fingers hanging on the edge of the shelf, he grew flushed in his attire as he watched your near undoing. You whimpered his name over and over, as if that was your only comfort among the heavy sensation in your gut, the pleasure which numbed your senses. He trailed down to your sopping fingers, clumsy in their rhythm.

A shuddered breath escaped him.

It was then he let out the most self-satisfactory scoff. 

That moment, you opened your eyes. Widened when they settled on your husband, face exposing an aghast expression as he crossed his arms, gaze never leaving the mess between your legs.

He had the audacity to grin wickedly.

“Oh my, sweet angel. What do we have here?”

Your entire body stilled, fingers frozen inside of you. Every ounce of strength, which tried to make you speak, abandoned ship. 

Noticing clearly, a splutter of hellish laughter spilled from his lips. “All this time,” he began, feline amusement dripping in his voice. “All these lonely, lonely weeks, I was so guilty.” His boots made a soft thump against the carpets, grey longcoat fluttering after him. “I kept thinking, see, of you, so alone and unentertained. Stuck in her chambers all day and night, burning out her brain with her words. Writing of my examples.”

He unbuttoned his overcoat, pinning you with his gaze. “Little did I know you were impersonating me.”

You almost cried with shame. 

“God, I doubt I can call you angel, again,” he drawled, tossing his woolen jacket behind him on a nearby chair, pulling off his gloves. 

He uncovered his slender hands, continuing, “Not with your fingers still in your cunt.”

That nearly had you in tears — you yanked your digits out, making to push your skirts down in a hurry but were dutifully stopped by his raised voice.

“Pray, darling,” he inquired, and you could taste the ridicule as he stood before you, crouching down. “What do you think you are doing?”

He did not give you time to answer as he grabbed your hand, half-soiled by your endeavours. “Why have you stopped the show when the intended audience has arrived?”

All these questions messed with your senses, squeezing your thighs together as the high, threatening to undo you before, began to fade. “Hyunjin—” you said, but you were interrupted, as, with his hand, he lifted your trembling figure with ease. Legs unstable, you let him steer you until your back hit the bookshelves.

“Another notion puzzles me too.” His golden locks skirted along as he cocked his head.

“Why did you scream my name when you touched yourself?” 

Your mouth parted, remembering your incessant whining. The thought caused your entire body to burn up, your husband taking instant note. “Come on, now, darling,” he taunted, grip on your hand tightening. “We both know you are more than capable of speaking.”

It was surprising how you managed to speak, despite the phantom touches.

“I…” you paused, embarrassed that you tried to tell him the truth. “I do not know...damn it!” you hissed as you saw a phantom smile accompanying his hands. “I had this...this need, Hyunjin. Everytime I recalled that night, I…all I wanted was some sort of...release.”

“Oh?” he got out, and he had to cage you with his hands for his own stability. 

The thought of you, withering in pleasure — pleasure you did not realise you yearned for — had his mind transcending any sense. There he was, stirring the cauldron of desire bubbling in your veins, your face twisting in pain from your lack of knowledge. 

He had to pray for forgiveness for his mentality, but at this moment in time, he only knew of one religion. You, and your wishes, whispered in panted breaths.

“If that was what you felt, then why did you not tell me?”

If it was not for his hand gripping yours, you would have covered your face. “How could I?” you whined out. “You were so busy! I could never be selfish enough to put myself before you.”

His heart nearly burst from his chest. “My darling,” he hummed, stroking away the flyaways upon your face. “Do you not realise that I put you before myself?”

Your confusion had him continuing. “If you had told me that you had such...needs, then I would have damned the work to hell.”

Suddenly, you wished you were the most selfish person in the world.

“Every wish, your every want…” his eyes promised the world. “It is mine to bring it to you.

“So tell me, angel.” His fingers lingered on your face. “What do you want?”

Alas, that fated question.

What you wanted was to tell him without doubt that you wished for his fingers inside you again. What you wanted was your husband fulfilling his promises, showing you more, more, more until you forgot your name from the sheer force.

You hated how your speech could never voice it out loud with confidence.

The man noticed your face warming beneath his touch as you stammered, “I-I want—” pausing from his fingers on your cheek, “Hyunjin, I want you to…” 

Your pathetic attempts had him chuckling. “So innocent to me still?” He asked softly. “Even when I caught you moaning my name like a whore in the night?”

Whore. Sane you would have slapped him for saying such a thing, but the arousal that pooled at the term meant completely different. He was aware of your reaction, causing him to be compliant. 

One day, he would voice it out of you. One day, you would say from your own mouth that you wished for ruination.

“How about this, ____?” he started. He brushed a small kiss upon your forehead, heart fluttering at the chaste action. “When you want me to stop, voice that out instead.” The next kiss was upon the tip of your nose. 

You thought up a worrying confession, but when you saw his expression change, you realised you blurted it out.

“I don’t think I would want you to stop, Hyunjin.”

The molten lust in his eyes nearly undid you then and there. He offered you a low, satisfied growl, wondering how in God he could ever resist you.

“I don’t think I would be able to, angel.”

He did not say any more, swooping down and enveloping your lips with his.

You instantly accepted him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pulled him closer, closing your eyes and letting him paint an artwork of desire upon your mouth. You could tell he was trying to be gentle, but your confession cracked the glasshouse of desire he had tended for so long. 

His tongue was inside your mouth at once, and you relished its desperation, letting it explore all of you as his hands wandered down, your own sliding into his locks. Softer than all the silks in the land, you already felt the moans bubble within your throat, partially escaping with every parting. His heavy breathing in your ears only wished for all distance to fade.

There was so much of him, all at once — you had shared kisses with him after that fated night, but you knew those kisses were the sole form of affection he could offer in those lonely weeks. The way he bit your bottom lip, soft and then a little harder, had you losing all sense.

It was such things that made you realise how much you missed his presence.

Tearing away from your lips, he gave fevered attention to your neck, trailing his kisses down your skin, open and wet and restless. “Hyunjin—” you began, but then you gritted your teeth at the pain of his suction upon your throat. His hands pushed you further into the shelves, and a few books began to fall at the force. 

“H-Hyunjin!” you exclaimed, eyes darting frantically to the classic editions that scattered on the floor. “W-wait, not here!” 

The man blinked in his haze of desire, looking at you. “Huh?” he got out, spit-slick lips parted, his whole body raising from his breaths. “Why not?”

“The-the books, they...!” you tried to explain, but with the stare he offered, you quietened within moments. “...Hyunjin?”

His answer was his hand taking your wrist and turning from the secluded corner. He steered you out of the hiding place, pace hurried with each step he took. Head whirling to every aisle, he cursed under his breath, finding the spaces between the shelves filled only with books. 

“What are you...searching for?!” you demanded in bated breaths, but then he let out a satisfied noise as he found an open aisle, the first line of shelves in the library. 

In front of those shelves sat a large, wooden step ladder — no doubt there to grab onto the higher sectioned novels. A knowing smirk enveloped his features as he led you to where it stood, backing you against it.

A small yelp escaped you as the man hoisted you upon the steps, you holding onto his shoulders as he slithered his arms around your waist. “There,” he said, tilting his head slightly upwards. “Now you shan’t worry about your novels falling.”

“Easy for you to say!” you crowed, already feeling unstable, despite sitting on the sixth step. “This time it might be me falling!”

“Well then,” he began, tugging your legs apart till he fit snug between them, “You just have to hold on tight, don’t you?”

Oh, you were going to kill him.

Leaning forward, he halted your breath, brushing his lips across your neck. “I can stop if you wish,” he whispered on your skin. His hand rested over your chest, where it rose unevenly under his palm. When you did not answer he looked up, climbing so he levelled with your face. 

You felt his heavy breathing fan your lips. “Do you want me to stop, angel?”

His eyes saw right through you — with the way a malicious smile began playing at his lips, he knew his answer long before you registered it yourself.

Head shaking hurriedly, you murmured out your response as you grabbed onto the lapels of his longcoat. 

“Never.” 

You pulled him down, desire taking control of your senses as he undid you with his lips. His hands, sliding down, hitching your skirts higher than before, bunching it at your waist. Never giving himself a break on your mouth, he peeled off his coat, tossing it beside the ladder. Only when you broke away to take a panted breath did he begin his descent — kisses on your neck dragged down further, along your clothed abdomen until he parted, shuffling the fabric from between your thighs.

An uneasy fuck flew from his mouth — your glistening cunt welcomed him again, the recollections of the last honeymoon night crashing back. 

In truth, the events had not left his mind. The memories of his fingers playing with you, inciting those sinful sounds were the few things which brought him a high in the dark days of work. You, drenched by his efforts, dripping for him, and only him, to take care of you.

Seeing the sight before had Hyunjin restraining his cock. Fuck, he thought, leaning closer till his face was a mere inch from the center. He did not comprehend the consequences of this; what if he went crazy? A part of him was distinctly aware that if you were heavenly around his fingers, then you with his tongue would transcend reality.

Hands holding the back of your knees, he slung your legs over his shoulders, securing his fingers upon your thighs. With one last inhale, he closed the distance.

Nothing compared to his tongue running along your slit.

A hiss left you at the contact, tendrils of pleasure curling up your spine as he explored the edges of your cunt. He was teasing, being too leisured for your liking — he could not help himself, fearing he would rush the process and end it too quickly.

He wanted to be inside you the entire night.

Your incessant whining had him lapping up the wetness, gripping onto your legs a little harder as he delved in further, tasting your arousal and letting out a satisfied noise. Leaning your head back against the higher steps, your hands carded through his hair, his locks a comfort for the slow torment below.

When his tongue dove upwards, circling your clit, an obscenely loud moan tumbled out of you. He was so exceptional, so good at what he did to you, licking away at the bud as if he had not been served for days. Your whining was more encouragement for his antics, increasing his strokes with a slight curve to his lips. 

What reduced you to choked gasps was an old prospect from the first night — his digits, leaving one of their spots on your leg and slipping one inside your folds. As if his tongue was not enough, that singular finger created a rhythmic pattern of plunging in and out of you. 

You thrashed under his grip, hips rolling giddily along with his work. Even the ladder began to shudder, jutting slightly back and forth from your desperation. Although the squeeze on your thigh was an indication to calm down, you ignored it, too intoxicated by the thrusts of his tongue to realise his signal. 

He made you realise as he paused his ministrations entirely. You nearly shrieked at the lack of his presence, but then you looked down, and found his lust-hazed eyes staring at you. 

“H-Hyunjin?” You mumbled, voice raspy from your previous moaning. 

The slick glazed on his lips brought you another level of high. “I need you to stay still, darling,” he voiced, slender hand gripping onto your thigh. “You even have the poor ladder shaking.”

You willingly nodded your head, knowing you were lying through your teeth. If he continued with his tongue prodding at your clit, then you would start trembling from the thrill. 

“I don’t think I believe you,” he mused, blowing on your drenched cunt. Seeing you shiver had him chuckling. ”I need you to be still if you want true pleasure, sweetheart.”

An ironically chaste kiss upon the edges of your thigh gave you more reason to grip him harder. “I want you to enjoy this as much as I am.” 

As much as I am.

Good, sweet Lord.

Maybe you will never move an inch again.

“K-keep going,” you whispered, near frantic as you played with his locks. “Please.”

The please at the end was exactly what he needed before he pounced into you again. 

His tongue was relentless — a second finger joined in the venture, and the fullness of him was back again, with an intensity that only promised satisfaction. You knew it was coming, with the heaviness in your lower abdomen. 

You needed that release. Whatever it took, it was the only image in your mind, taunting you of the relief that came with it. With the hard grip of his locks, your husband sensed it straight away, quickening his pace with both his tongue and digits. 

Damn Hwang Hyunjin to Hell, for he was so unfairly good to you — licking your clit to a frenzy, touching a certain spot inside you, over and over again. He never missed, never faltered his labour as the burden inside you intensified. You sang his praise in your stained mind, hoping he could see the joy on your face.

“Hyunjin—!” You whined out, stealing a glance at his head, moving back and forth slightly between your legs. “It’s—the feeling, the one before—!”

You did not have to say anything else; his free hand, wrapping fully around your slung over leg, made you realise of his awareness. The feeling was at its peak then — one more of his stripe along your cunt, and it was over.

Fortunately for you, the Duke of Hastings kept his promises. 

One little nibble of your bud, plunging in his two fingers at the same time, and it was useless. Your release came rushing through, cries escaping your lips as you undid yourself onto his mouth. All sense of surroundings abandoned you: you were drifting away, like a kite losing its roots, further and further as his fingers slowed. You feared that you would lose all sense until his tongue lapped up the release. His hums of satisfaction anchored you back into the library, hands at your hips as he heaved upwards, watching over your dazed expression. 

You saw his every move, licking the remnants of your release off on his face. He then hovered closer, locks more sweat slick as they caressed your skin. 

“God, angel,” he rasped out, holding your chin with his stained fingers. “You…I can’t...I can’t get enough of you.”

He stole a kiss upon your mouth, but your shy whines caused him to go deeper, sliding his tongue along your bottom lip. “Shit,” he whispered as he parted from your lips. “You must stop me, ____. I cannot take you all at once, I…no matter how much I wish, I cannot...fuck, I cannot taint you.”

And maybe it was your husband, admiring you like a poet would his muse. Maybe it was something more than the dull ache inside you, the flutter moving to your heart which had you saying the next words. 

“But I...” you paused, every panted breath heavy. “I never…never asked you to stop.”

Hyunjin stilled completely before you. 

His eyes were too much, but you did not stop the confession pouring out. “If...if there is something more, I…” his thumb on your chin hardened.

“I want to know. I want to see it all...even if it may taint me.”

There it was. 

The thoughts which haunted you for the past few weeks. You wanted more, even if that meant that this more would one day be satiated. You wanted to see the end, the final stage, because you knew deep down, your best friend was still holding back from you.

You saw it in his eyes. You saw his unadulterated desires, dark and fearful, yet you wanted to be surrounded by his darkness. 

You wanted Hwang Hyunjin to break you like he wished.

Sure enough, he saw it all over your face too. His jaw turned slack, and he debated slamming his head against the shelves to make sure he was not dreaming.

He did not think his wife would let him have a moment’s peace. 

“God help you, sweet angel,” he murmured, glancing at your dress — more specifically, how to get you out of it. “I don’t think I can leave you innocent any longer.”

You parted your mouth to speak — Hyunjin was about to interrupt you, perhaps take you to the final stage of your passions.

Everything was about to descend when you heard the shrill knock on the door.

Your heart jumped out of your dress, the man above you catching onto your shock. With an unexpected burst of anger, he turned his head towards the large doors and screamed, “Who the fuck is it?!”

The servant at the opposite side flinched at the tone of voice. “Um, there is a guest in the living room, Your Grace!”

That did not help his case. “Then tell them to piss off!” The Duke demanded, holding onto you a little harder.

“But Your Grace, he urgently requests your presence!” The boy insisted. “We tried telling him of your...distractions, but he would not listen!”

Hyunjin looked like he was about to tear the manor down with his orders, and you widened your eyes, holding onto him. “It’s alright,” you reassured him, and possibly reassuring yourself too.

He glanced at you, and the frenzied stare he pinned you with shut you right up. “Fuck,” he cursed, running an angered hand through his hair, the other not leaving your side — as if you would fade from his grasp. 

You feared it too, in truth, that he would disappear. The thought plagued your senses, much more than you would have liked.

“To hell with that bloody guest,” he growled, leaning into you again. He pressed his forehead against yours, cupping your face with his hands. “To hell with everyone.”

“Hyunjin,” you breathed out, relishing the contact. “Hyunjin, it’s okay…” you held his agitated stare, wondering why you were convincing him to go when you wanted him to stay. “I will be here, you know...when you come back.”

He searched your gaze for confirmation, needing to affirm your words. When he found the suppressed desire within, he could not help himself. 

He planted his mouth upon yours, finding solace along the lines of your lips — he loved how your every kiss was a comfort, a sweet little sin all for him to enjoy. In honesty, he could spend an eternity basked in your warmth, but alas, reality was a villain in his tale.

Forcing himself to pull away, he ran a tender thumb along your cheek. “I shan’t take long, angel.”

You nodded tiredly, in time to the man holding your waist as he settled you back onto the carpet. Lingering for a few moments, he made himself leave your side, grabbing his coat and donning the heavy fabric. He satiated his desires with a glance towards you, dazed off with your hands clinging the ladder railing still. 

A small smile catching onto his lips, he turned on his heel, promising murder to whoever disturbed the moment he dreamed of. Opening the door, he looked back, catching your stare. 

The smile upon his face grew wider. A smile so sincere, so loving, with all the world’s miracles nestled upon his pretty mouth. It was a smile that you had never seen before, with all your years beside him — seeing it now had you wishing you could bottle the image and carry it with you forever.

It was a smile which had you so in love with him.

Love.

It was then your heart dropped. 

Hyunjin, unaware, closed the door behind him, leaving you to your revelation.

Instantly, you clutched at your chest, heartbeat racing. 

In love.

You were in...in love with Hwang Hyunjin.

“No,” you slipped out, mind rushing a mile a minute. “No, no, no, no—”

You gripped the railing harder as the hand on your heart trailed down, shivering from the phantom touches of your husband.

Hell, of the husband that you had fallen for. 

One would think love was an entity writers would idolise — your own inspirations searched and indulged in all kinds of love, but you always accepted that an emotion so intense was not for women like you. Love was a rarity. Love was unconditional, strong and vivid and all-consuming. 

Love, undoubtedly, was a weakness.

Your breathing turned ragged, hands reaching to clasp your head in panic. 

I will be here...when you come back.

Your promise to him, before he left you to your hysteria.

Why would you ever say such a thing to him?

“Oh, no,” you kept chanting, turning over to your side, away from the door and towards the window, where night was small comfort to your nerves. 

You could not let yourself succumb to a man. No matter how dear he was to you.

And if that meant staying away from your husband, then so be it.

 IT WAS UTTER AGONY AVOIDING YOUR BEST FRIEND IN EVERY PASSING MOMENT. 

Perhaps you should have given reasonable explanation to why you decided to distance yourself, but of course, reasonable explanation was never your forte. 

Hyunjin, damn him, tried to make more effort in returning home earlier, despite his business demanding his presence with every passing day. You were almost powerless under his tender gaze, but you knew that you could not be swayed.

As if you had not fallen under his spell already.

Your only distraction was your novel, so you did just that — even with your husband in the manor, you closed yourself from everyone, writing furiously on your desk as if committing to anything else would cost your life. The flushed skin did not shy away as you wrote of your second experience, changing the events slightly so they fit your story. The memories tried to torture your mind, but you refused to submit. You could not fall for Hyunjin.

You could not fall for a man.

The duke did not realise of your avoidances, simply thinking that you evading his more heated kisses, his dangerous touches, was a result of your fatigue. He understood, knowing you worked your brain as hard as he. He was upset, obviously, when he craved your touch every waking second. For you, though, he would do anything. If that meant waiting, he would do that too.

However, your recoiling could only last so long. Your best friend knew you like the back of his hand.

He figured something was amiss when he decided to grace you with his presence one evening, expecting another show of your moans behind the door, only to have the distant scribbling of ink against paper. Entering inside, he awaited your surprise, your unadulterated joy, bracing himself to have his arms engulfed with your hug.

In reality, he received a mumble of blessing, and the continuing scribbling.

He was not trying to coax you into giving him affection. He was well aware of how hard you worked on your novel, but that day, he dearly wished you would abandon your project for just a night. Just one, single night, so he could show you how much he missed you every single moment.

Poor, unfortunate man. How was he to know that your affection was the one thing you could not give him?

Another few days into the silence, and Hyunjin had had enough.

He called to you one dinner, ushering the servants away with the flick of his hand. The dining room became all the more huge, like a lush vault, perfect for a sweet interrogation as the velvet curtains drew to a close, and the eyes of a hundred paintings focused on you. You swirled the soup with your spoon, refusing to look at him. 

“Darling?”

Damn him and his endearments. “Hmm?”

The man, too, seemed to be unsure of how to talk of the subject. “Is…” he put his cutlery on the table. “Is everything...alright as of late?”

Your gaze remained rooted to your food. “Of course,” you said. “Why would I not be?”

There was a heavy silence in the room, new and uncertain between the two of you. Your friendship with the duke had never been filled with such quiet — why were you creating such awkwardness around him?

You already knew the answer.

“Do counter me if I speak incorrectly,” he began, grabbing the stem of the wine glass. “But I have noticed you to be quite...secluded.”

“I am busy, Hyunjin,” you said curtly. “I have a whole novel to edit.”

His lips twitched downwards before opening his mouth, bringing the glass to his lips and taking a small sip. “I know you do, and you know I am proud of you for it.”

Choosing to not say anything, you tried finishing off your dinner, aware that you were losing your appetite. It seemed your husband did not want to back down tonight. “____, I feel as if you are hiding something from me.”

The spoon in your hand nearly clattered in the bowl. “And why would you think that?”

“Because—!” Hyunjin paused, downing some more wine. “I do not know, but I feel as if you do not want to speak to me.”

He was too smart for his own good. “You are imagining things,” you waved him off, finding your salad fork oh so interesting in the candlelight.

“Look at me.”

His voice stopped you cold. 

Your gaze scrambled to meet his, and although his command was rough, his eyes exposed a completely different emotion. 

Pure concern washed over his features as he muttered, “Have I done something wrong?”

That question broke your heart.

“No, no, of course not,” you quickly said. You bit your lip in guilt, watching him sigh, almost in relief.

This was the consequences of your actions. A man who had done nothing unjust, yet was being punished. Pure shame coursed through your veins, catching the distress on his face, and you wondered whether you were being cruel. Maybe this time, your feelings were exaggerated.

If you were aware of such truths, then why could you not look your best friend in the eye?

That night, you hurried to bed, leaning on the edge in wait for him. Your thoughts were in disarray; your heart impatiently desired his return, and your brain berated you for daring to. 

Truthfully, it was horrifying how you had become so dependent on someone, when your entire life you relied on the fantasies in your head. Although your revelation was every lady’s dream in society, you felt as if another burden had been dumped upon your shoulders. This time, though, this burden would last for the rest of your life.

These thoughts were your singular company, when you lay awake all night. You were acutely aware of Hyunjin slipping between the sheets, but you did not move a muscle. A small part of you knew that if you turned, you would be unable to resist his whimsical gaze and wandering touches.

So you lay rigid, only letting yourself sleep till your best friend submitted himself to oblivion.

He, too, could not bear to live like this.

The Duke of Hastings was not a fool. He had not known you for over a decade to discard you lying through your teeth. It was beyond his understanding the reasoning of your change, but it deeply disturbed his soul. 

He turned in the bed, watching your back bathed in moonlight. Why would you not tell him what bothered you? What had he done wrong?

As he watched you stay rooted in one position, his thinking turned to dark corners. A realisation struck him; you started acting this way the day after he nearly took you in the library.

This alarmed him greatly — was that why you were so troubled? Were you...uncomfortable with his touch?

His heart dropped down to his gut. 

If you truly detested his affection, then he would not know what to do with himself. Recently, it was all that haunted him — you, you, and a little more you, strolling through his mind as if it were your domain, creating stories underneath his eyes. It only worsened when he discovered your sweet moans, triggered by his kisses and touches. God, the very thought of you, whining his name as you touched yourself, brought him a familiar feeling amplified. So ardently he wished to taint you further. 

Even thinking of the images had him clutching his pillow tighter, fingers aching to turn you over. 

However, the harsh fact was that you could not bear to look at him, and he had to live with that. Questioning you was of no use. 

Hyunjin only prayed that he did not scare you off. 

Unfortunately for him, his prayers were not to be answered. 

Days passed, and the distance grew. The man dared not say a word to you in fear you would stray further, and you dared not approach him in fear you would fall harder. It was the most abhorrent situation, and you knew you had to get away somehow.

Fate spoiled your plans when Hyunjin revealed some news.

You looked at the invitation in slight horror. “A ball?”

Scratching the back of his neck, he explained further. “When we were...interrupted that day…” he sighed a little. “It was Seungmin who was downstairs.”

“Kim Seungmin? Has he returned from the States?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “And he has decided that the first thing he wishes to do is throw a huge ball in celebration of his return.” A roll of eyes followed. “Forever the dramatist.”

You restrained your laughter. “It has been over 2 years since we met,” you wondered out loud. 

“Well, you can meet him at his estate when we attend the ball.” 

He felt your eyes on him as he declared his words. Awaiting your outright rejection, settling down on the chair in the living room. You watched his thighs tense under the peach trousers as he folded a leg over the other — damn him for being too attractive to refuse.

“Very well,” you only said, not ignoring the nerves which threatened to take over. They increased a little at seeing the smile on your husband’s face.

You needed to stop leading the man on. Never could you go to the ball with him. 

“It is a week from now,” he added, bobbing his foot excitedly. “I shall write back in acceptance as soon as possible!”

Nodding, you returned to your reading, hoping the faux conversations were enough distraction.

A week. Seven days to somehow escape from this event, or else everyone would see you enter the ball as an official couple, and then your fate as another man’s property would be sealed.

Had he ever made you feel as such?

You did not let yourself ponder over this further. Your only objective was getting out of this invitation.

However, you were a duchess. Trying to hide yourself from London society was an unattainable feat. 

The reminder had you nearly ripping the page off your book, too stressed to read on.

This became your focus of the next week, pondering over the night of the ball, scouring your mind with the possibilities which may occur at Seungmin’s estate. As the days neared, Hyunjin insisted you go shopping in search of a special ball gown, and you only obliged so you did not have to be in the same house as him. Still, if he was not there physically, his image preyed upon you in the markets, constantly reminded of his opinions and likings in every fabric you ran your hands upon. 

There was no escaping him. You were disgustingly obsessed.

Purchasing everything you needed, you requested it to be charged on Hastings’ tab, a privilege awarded to you ever since your joining with the duke. You always argued that you wished to spend your own money, but he would not listen.

“But I adore spoiling you, angel,” he would merely say, and buy up half the boutique, leaving you a flustered mess. The conversations did not leave you as you bought your dresses and accessories, returning home and dreading interaction.

Excusing yourself, you shut yourself in your room once more, and wrote.

Wrote away your soul in the last days, till it was the morning of the fated event. The sun shone magnificently on your home, but failed to radiate its light on your darkened mood. You had no choice on the matter — you were to accompany Hyunjin to Seungmin’s celebrations, and that was final.

You were about to fake typhoid when a letter arrived for you.

It was from your mother; she wrote in question of your wellbeing, and how much she felt your absence in the house. The content was not very interesting, and you debated writing back with a lack of enthusiasm when you read the last section.

She mentioned tonight’s ball — more significantly, how she felt ever so lonely without you with her, “enlivening her spirits”. The praises were nothing further from the truth, but it was her confession which had an idea rushing to your head.

“Lonely without me, huh?” you murmured, as you rang a bell for a maid. Arriving, you requested for a little trunk, asking for your new dress and other adornments to be packed. “For once, Mama, you have been useful.”

The packing did not take much time, the other servants calling for a carriage as you made preparations to leave for a night. Hyunjin, making his presence known, descended down the stairs, a grin upon his face as his hand fished in his inner pockets. 

When he saw your endeavours, though, his beaming flickered. “What is going on here?” he asked, refusing to look away from your luggage.

You turned to him, mustering up the bravado to face him with your decision. 

“I received a letter from Mama this morning,” you explained to him in faux ease, gesturing for the servants to bring your belongings outside. “She is feeling rather lonesome, so I thought to see her.”

The man was not convinced in the slightest. “Since when did you garner sympathy for your mother?”

Never confide in your best friend again. “Please,” you stressed, holding the letters in your hands. “She still took care of me the best she could. Plus, I would never want to be lonely at that age.”

He was not listening to this explanation though, his hands going into his pockets. “When will you be back, darling?”

The endearment made this all the worse. “The morning after.”

A heavy pause instilled on the both of you before he broke it. “But...but the ball. A-are you to just...abandon the invitation altogether?”

“No!” you began, locking your hands behind your back. “No, I shall meet you at Seungmin’s estate. It is a small setback, but—”

“____, this will be our first social event as husband and wife!” he countered, you grimacing at his minor outburst. “I want you by my side when we walk down the steps!”

“But I will be there, Hyunjin!” you exclaimed. “I do not understand why you suddenly want to follow these silly traditions!”

Gritting his teeth, your friend pinned you with his stare, growing fiery the longer you held it. Traditions never interested him, but this one had been a certainty he had been looking forward to. The image of you, descending the stairs with your hand on his arm, brought him an absurd amount of joy.

But there you were, bursting his bubble of dreams.

“Why is this all coming to light today?” he muttered, taking a step towards you. “Why, on the day of the event, you decide to tell me that you would rather go with your mother, who never truly cared for you, than me?” 

Than me, who always did?

You dared not answer his question truthfully — instead, you let your undeserved anger take the reins of your tongue.

“So you are already suspicious!” you snapped. “Why am I not surprised in the slightest?”

His eyes narrowed at the statement. You did not look into it further as you turned on your heel, heading towards the door. “Do not run away from me, ____!” He shouted, following after you. “Tell me what you implied from that horrendous comment!”

“Oh, let me uncover it clearly for you, dearest,” you snarled, standing at the doorway. The words which were to leave your mouth had sure consequences, but in the moment, you did not care. All you wanted then was an escape.

“You accuse me of scheming and demand me things which I do not want to give you.” 

Your hand gripped the letter behind you. “You’re becoming the one thing I feared, Hyunjin. You’re turning into a typical male.”

The man froze entirely at your claims.

Did not utter a defense against him as you sighed out, glancing away from his shell-shocked eyes. You did not bid your farewells as you descended down the stairs, reigning in your temptation to look back as you made your way to your transport through the gardens. 

As you slipped inside the carriage, clasping your hands in your lap, you wondered whether you had taken a step too far. 

You wondered, with rising dread, whether you had broken your best friend’s heart. 

 MAYBE RUNNING TO YOUR MOTHER HAD NOT BEEN THE BEST OF IDEAS.

Biggest reason being that she was truly a pain in the rear. The moment your carriage had arrived on the rocky entryway of your mother’s manor, she rushed down the steps. After engulfing you with an embrace which might have caused a minor stroke, she hurried you inside, her servants bringing your possessions.

You did not particularly miss your previous abode, although it gave you small relief. You passed the familiar hallways, and settled in the nostalgic parlour room where your mother gushed over your presence.

Still, this manor did not seem like home to you.

Conversation was mostly struck from your opposite, you nearly silent as the woman vented out her frustrations of every family in London, drinking her tea and urging you to take a biscuit or two. Your stomach was void of an appetite, missing other emotions which you abandoned on the other side of the city.

By the time evening arrived, all you wished to do was hide yourself into your old room, but your mother would not accept. Having the maids open your trunk, they brought out the ball gown you had picked for the occasion.

It was a dark, seductive red, swell of its puffs cuffed with black lace — this lace scattered over the fabric, lining not only the neckline but down the chest, rose-like stitches etched onto the bust. The high-waistline also bled further black stitching, almost all over the gown as it fell to the floor, with a midnight ribbon trailing at the back.

You bit back a fevered sigh. Hyunjin would have adored this gown.

The thought had you pursing your lips, requesting the gown be pressed. Then, walking over to the dressing table, you settled yourself onto the seat, using the accessories bought previously to style yourself. With the assistance of a few maids, you managed to accentuate your hair, adding small pearls within the locks.

The ballgown came back in an instant, and you undressed yourself, waving away the girls in your room. Firstly, you slipped on a thin chemise — then, you allowed a maid to enter to help with the corset, who tightened it at the back without mercy to your body. Barely able to breathe, you loosened it slightly after the girl left, focusing your attention on the gown. After adorning the petticoats and white stockings, you adorned your attire, slowly as to not crease its fabric. Hooking the back yourself, you turned to the mirror, holding the black gloves.

There was no doubt about this countenance — it was exactly to your husband’s taste. Clamping your lips together, you donned the gloves, the silk smooth beneath your touch as you filled them to the fingertips. With one final peek at yourself, you slipped into your shoes, and left the bedroom. 

You were a fool to think of any other person but your mother welcoming you at the entrance, but wishful thinking had always been your flaw. Her string of compliments had you adorning a ghost of a smile, but you did not say much as you both climbed into the carriage, instructing to journey to Seungmin’s estate.

Without a novel to distract you, you fell into a habit of clasping and unclasping your hands as you sat, waiting for the ride to be over. Your mother was small comfort as she filled the silence for you, but even her voice strained your mood — you wished for other discourse, or other meaningless entertainment.

You ached for laughter.

Whatever. This was your consequence. You must bear with it.

If your mother knew of your troubles, she certainly did not voice them out loud. She did ask of your relationship with Hyunjin, but you waved her off with false reassurances — you could not have her prying into your private life.

“I hope he has burned off your silly writing fancy!” she drawled, catching the lights of the destination flickering closer to our transport. “As a wife you have much more important duties.”

Gazing afar through the window, you spoke your truth. “Actually, Mama, he encourages it.” A small chuckle escaped you. “I think he wants me to be an author more than I do.”

“Oh?” The woman brought a hand to her chin, impressed. “That is a rare occurrence indeed.”

Catching your raised brow, she scoffed. “Do not gawk as if you are not aware of men. I am shocked he has given you freedom.”

You listened to her, watching the estate linger closer. “Child, you have found a man who does not restrict you in your passions. I do not know how you accomplished such a feat, but you must be extremely thankful.” A glance was stolen towards her. “Such husbands only exist in those books you love so much.”

Before you could comment on her statement, the carriage slowed to a stop, reaching the final stop. The footmen opened the doors, and your mother stepped out first before you followed, careful not to ruin your dress on the pathway. 

The crowds had you leading inside the estate, luxury which could compete with the Duke of Hastings being exulted in every corner of the interior. Dozens of lords, ladies and other aristocrats wandered in all places of the house, your own mother being swept away by her friends in her social circle. Your presence felt less relevant with each passing second, fearing you would lose yourself in the rush of golden curtains, rose perfume and unwelcome conversation.

You thought that this ball would grant solitude, but then you heard the bright drawl of a familiar lord. 

“By God, is that my dear bookworm I see before me?”

Jumping from the voice, you whirled on your heel. A surprised smile caught on your face.

“Seungmin?”

The said-man returned your shock with a mischievous grin. Lord Kim Seungmin changed greatly since the last time you saw him — what was once thinned, pale cheekbones were now full and golden, amplifying his eye-smile, which he did not lose in the Americas. He was adorned in navy blue, contrasting with his off-coloured pants, black hair styled effortlessly away from his forehead.

“My goodness!” he began, strolling over to you with his mahogany cane. “Even after two years you upkeep your radiance.”

“You flatter me,” you said as your smile widened. “You certainly have changed. I adore the tan!”

“I fear you are the sole admirer,” he confided, narrowing his gaze at his incoming guests. “As if I wish to look like a ghost among men!”

“You have earned my approval, at least,” you complimented in earnest. “Not that it would matter much.”

Seungmin scoffed at your comment. “Says one of the most affluent women in the country! When were you going to tell me you were Hyunjin’s bride?”

Your irritation sparked as your heartbeat raced. “It was very recent, I admit. I would have sent word, but it would not have reached you.”

“I daresay I am not surprised.” 

You peered at him, then. “No?”

He gave you an incredulous look. “My dear, everyone anticipated the occasion. Only you were clueless to the possibility.”

Gritting your teeth, you jabbed him with your hand, causing him to chuckle. “Ow! I was hoping you would mature by this time! No doubt your duke encourages this!”

Preferring to stay silent on the matter, Seungmin continued on the subject, making it difficult. “Where is he, by the way? Gossip tells me it is your first ball as a couple.”

“Is he not here?” A shake of his head had your nerves creeping back. “Oh, um, my mother was alone, so I thought to accompany her instead.”

You nearly grimaced at his callous features. “How bizarre,” he murmured. He then offered you his arm. “If so, then allow me to accompany you in his absence.”

Accepting his arm, he helped you navigate your ways through the huge foyer, the grand stairs welcoming you two as dozens upon dozens of aristocrats came into view — the host nodded his head in greeting at every passerby, leading you down each step, until your feet landed on the floor of the ballroom. 

Examining the area, you marvelled at the pastels colouring each wall, corner and crevice of the vast space in the room. Sweet music filled the air, and murmurs of many ladies and gentlemen resonated everywhere around you, growing louder as their eyes rested on you, your sensual attire, and the lack of husband on your arm.

“How about a dance, Duchess?” Seungmin asked you as he brought you closer to the center. 

Instantly you shook your head, stopping in your tracks. “No,” you refused, tugging on his arm. “I have no wish for dancing this evening.”

“As if you ever have,” he mused, earning your glare. “I presume you await for your beau? Everyone knows you dance first with him.”

A sharp breath exhaled from your nose. “Nevermind that, just take me where the cakes are.”

Laughter spilled from his lips, stirring you to the refreshments. “As you wish, ____.”

Making your way through the guests, you finally ended up where the food resided, tables lined from one corner of the room to the other, flanked in every type of nourishment. Your gaze found stands of cakes, and you left your hand on your friend’s arm, raised towards the deserts. As soon as a servant handed you a plate, the chocolate cake was in your hold.

“Honestly,” the host started, as you cut a piece with a fork, digging straight in. “And they call you the pinnacle of grace!”

“Who in heaven said that?” you asked, baffled as you ate another small piece. Seungmin, snapping his fingers, brought a tray of champagne over to you. Picking up two flutes, you began, “For me?”

Downing the first, he offered you a grin. “What made you think that?” he replied, already sipping the second. “My party, my alcohol.”

This time you giggled at his demeanour, he handing you a drink as you finished your cake. The bubbly goodness was welcomed, warming you up and calming your senses. 

After the third glass, the champagne-induced man let out a huge sigh. “Right!” he exclaimed, propping the glasses on the table beside you. “I must find myself a pretty lady to dance with.”

“Do try to stay on your feet, Seungmin,” you said, raising your flute in toast. 

“No promises!” he merely countered, disappearing into the crowd.  

Your smile faded at the isolation which hit.

There you were — hundreds of people surrounding you, many potential partners to dance with, yet there you were, hand not in another hand but wrapped around your alcohol. 

You could not blame a single soul. This was all your doing.

That had you consuming the champagne to the last drop. 

At least there was some form of relief in this ball, as you watched Seungmin and about a dozen couples form a circle at the center of the room. With the first opening of the music the host led his partner, all the others following suit. 

Watching the waltz had you remembering the last dance, the fateful night where this union came into fruition. Your friend’s smile, his hand on another’s waist, all these images reflected the very same you experienced many weeks before.

You bit the inside of your cheek, reminiscing deeper and deeper. You hated how every fibre of your body ached for his presence. The worst part was that it was not mere lust, or the carnal desire which erupted at his thought.

You longed for him — his banter, his mischievous eyes, and his rather heart-wrenching smile.

The music heightened, the climax of the dance falling on the ball room as Seungmin whirled and whirled his partner, a string of giggles faintly heard from the crowd. When he twirled her one last time, he caught her instantly, at perfect harmony with the ending of the sweet melody.

Applause scattered across the hall as the couples bowed to each other.

A curse escaped you then. 

There was simply no doubt of your feelings — avoiding him could never be the solution. 

This revelation may have arrived at the perfect time.

Because, as the music played once more, a figure emerged at the entrance. 

The murmurs, one by one like a slow wave, died down as they caught sight of him, gazes shocked.

Sipping your champagne, quite puzzled, you turned to the origins for this change of atmosphere. 

Every atom in your body stilled. 

Froze completely at the sight which stood at the foot of the steps. 

You were unable to suppress his name.

“Hyunjin.”

It was as if, by a miracle, he heard your shivered whisper — his eyes skimmed the crowd, frantic beneath the calm.

They found you in the chaos.

Your very breath disappeared from your lungs.

Hwang Hyunjin looked like the devil’s greatest fantasy; as if he stole the night and imprisoned it in his attire. He was adorned in lustrous black, waistcoat patterned with red swirls of velvet. His collar was slightly ruffled, cravat of midnight as it barely brushed against his chin. His tailcoat somewhat glistened in the chandelier light, dark leather boots still as he stood before the hall.

His greatest change was his hair. Once golden like the lights of heaven, it was now as black as the underworld. Half of the locks were swept up in a ponytail, the rest curling at his shoulders. 

The flute nearly dropped from your hands. 

Seungmin, finding his friend on the steps, burst into a smile. “Hastings!” he broke through the silence with enthusiasm. With his voice the crowd fell into frenzied discourse, the host making his way through his guests, strolling towards the new arrival. “By God, it has been too long!”

Hyunjin hummed, not particularly interested in what he had to say. His gaze from you did not stray for a heartbeat. Seungmin, catching on, wrapped a hand around his friend’s shoulder. “I see you only came for one person,” he said, leading him to where you stood. 

Champagne was not the only substance which heated you further, cheeks growing warmer the closer he walked over to you. Every move he emitted exuded sensuality, as if his bones were made of silk. 

You let yourself to a third serving when he stopped before you, Seungmin clapping his hands together in excitement. “Look at the two of you!” he proclaimed. “Your clothes match so perfectly!”

Sure enough, both of you adorned the same hues of dark reds and raven blacks. You felt his eyes rake over you, and you restrained to not do the same, lest you let more than your stare wander. “I always knew you two were right for each other,” your friend continued, grabbing his fourth flute, drinking away in glee. “I am overjoyed to see that you both see it.”

Something cold swirled in your husband’s stare, and you ran a finger along the empty glass, embarrassed to hear such genuinity. “Hyunjin, the second waltz is about to start.” He gestured his flute towards you. “I know you always dance with each other first.”

The duke’s eyes flickered to the host for a mere second before pinning on you again. “I have no desire for dancing tonight.”

You had trouble downing your drink. “How strange...” Seungmin noted, darting between the couple. “Your wife here said the same thing not an hour ago.”

“Did she now?”

The silence that followed was quite unbearable. Even your friend was unimpressed, offering Hyunjin a drink from the waiters nearby. “Oh, you both are such bores! Maybe marriage is not the solution after all.”

You dared not look at him then, fiddling with your black ribbon. “I need to get drunk!” the host declared, tutting his head at the tension created. “I will come again when you two stop being so bloody shy.”

Shy would not be the most accurate term, but Seungmin was too intoxicated to care. He strolled to compliment a gathering of ladies within your radius, which left you with the one man you feared to be alone with.

Hwang Hyunjin. 

Hwang Hyunjin, in his changed, midnight glory, watching you with an indecipherable intensity. Creating the wildest butterflies ever felt inside your body. 

You did not know where to start. 

The man did not understand where to begin either, tongue at loss for words. There were too many words to spill, too many feelings left constricted.

He wished to say something, but his senses had failed him. So, much like you, he stayed silent, wondering if the two of you would ever break this barrier.

Even then, he could not help but linger closer, leaning against the lush walls of the room, right beside you. His presence was a blessing and a curse at the same time.

Tailcoat brushing against your skirts, he examined the ballroom along with you, itching to reach for your hand. He would never really, but in that moment, you were beyond tempting. 

You see, he had no idea what you would wear tonight, and after the spat at Lansdowne, he yearned for change — hence the raven hair and darkened clothing, so unlike his usual pastel attire. He did not even think that you would attend the ball in fear of his presence, but seeing you before him, engulfed in his favourite colours…

He would have damned society and taken you in this very hall. 

Daringly, he let himself wonder whether you felt the same — he heard your shocked murmur when he arrived, and the further shocked stare which made him ever so smug. If only you would let him do something about it.

If only you would let him ease this tension before it spiralled out of control.

His thoughts were rudely interrupted as Seungmin came stumbling back, alcohol, swishing back and forth in his new glass as he giggled at his guests. “Dear friends!” he broke out, hands raised, some of the drink accidentally slipping out. “Oh, forgive me, gentlemen!”

You heard Hyunjin sigh beside you as he held his own hands out to steady his friend. “Steady now, man!” he warned. The drunkard only chortled, foot stepping onto your dress.

“You should not have drank so much!” you scolded, raising your skirts. Glimpses of your stockings came into display, and Seungmin shrieked.

“Careful duchesh!” he slurred excitedly, leaning right into you and wiggling the glass as if it were a finger. Unfortunately, he had little control over how hard he shook his alcohol, and it all spilled over. 

Right onto your white stockings.

Yelping, you saw the middle part stain in pinkish-red, murking the material with every drop landing. “Seungmin!” you yelled in agitation. 

“Oh bollocksh!” he cursed, causing a few gasps around the hearing radius. “I apologishe, dear, so very very much—”

Hyunjin, witnessing the scene, stopped a nearby servant. “Please tend to your master, here,” he ordered, pointing towards Seungmin begging for your forgiveness. Nodding, the boy took the host away, the latter hiccuping as he asked for more wine. “And do not give him any more to drink!” the duke added.

Focusing on you, he rushed over, assessing the mess made. “Damn fool has spilled quite a bit.” Whirling his head to any exits, he spotted a dark hallway, remembering the route of the estate. “Come with me.”

You glanced at him, frantic. “Where to?”

He did not answer fully as he wrapped a hand around your waist, almost making you forget that you had wine spilled over you. “Seungmin has many spare rooms,” he explained, leading you out of the ballroom. Thankfully, the crowd was too occupied in preparing for the second waltz to care for the distressed couple. 

Keeping your skirts raised, you managed to keep your gown safe from spillage as Hyunjin led you down the less crowded hallways, depictions of the Kim family painted on the walls. “Ah!” He got out, reaching to a familiar room as he opened it, ushering you inside. “This is where I usually reside whenever I stay at the estate.”

The room was basked in dark, velvety colours, perfect for the man next to you. Lush carpet underneath, the huge bed, nestled at the wall at your right had its curtains drawn, revealing glistening indigo sheets, matching the framing of the bedroom. Dressing tables, wardrobes and the like were furnished at each corner, your focus drifting back to the dweller. 

There was barely any light, save for the oil lamp sparked to life by his match. Setting it to the side of the bed, it brought much more life to the room, previously engulfed in mystery. 

Without the upheaval, the space was basked in silence. You realised the hand on your back was sorely missed, and Hyunjin, standing a few feet away, clenched and unclenched that very hand, yearning for his fingers upon you once more.

But the two of you kept playing that little game of keeping quiet. Sooner or later, one of you will have enough of this sickening ploy. 

Groaning, you walked over to the edge of the bed, kicking your heels off as you saw your stockings, fully stained. “Damn it,” you muttered, promising Seungmin murder. 

Another few minutes of your grumbling, and he had had enough. 

“Maybe I can be of assistance.” 

Perking up, you found Hyunjin, walking slowly to you, hands fumbling in his coat pockets. After a few seconds of rummaging, he brought out a package, tied with red string. 

You raised a brow. “What is this?” 

“Open it,” he merely said, taking a step closer as he held it before you.

Hesitantly accepting, you tugged on the end of the bow, unraveling the tie. You did not forget the stare which rested on you the entire time you opened the wrappings. 

When the paper unfurled, you examined the contents.

Before you were a folded pair of black stockings.

A soft exhale escaped as you beheld the present, the midnight silk soft to the touch, already aware of its rich feel. You delved in further, and uncovered white ribbons at the top, for tightening their grip. 

“How…” you trailed off, dumbfounded at the coincidence. “How did you…?”

“No, no, this was…” he locked his hands behind his back. “Something I was supposed to give you this morning.”

“Oh.” This morning. When you two had that particularly nasty fight. “I see.”

You glanced down at the present again. Hyunjin had proven, once again, how refined his taste was. “I have never seen such exceptional detail on stockings before.” Discarding the paper at your feet, you ran your thumb across the material. “I doubt this suits me at all.”

There was a pause at that. 

You knew there was something he wanted to say. The way his jaw ticked, the boot lightly tapping on the floor — he was bursting to add a comment which may be a risk, considering the circumstance of your relations. 

Allowing yourself to be the first to dare, you peered up at him. The curiosity, explicit in your eyes, had him clearing his throat.

His hesitancy faded. “Show me, then.”

Catching the ferocity in his stare, you swallowed, hand at your skirts. “If…if you wish.”

And that was all he needed to begin.

You watched as the man descended on his knees, lingering upon you until he looked down, revealing your white-clad legs the further you raised your gown. You stopped before the ends, holding onto your skirts and petticoats as if your life depended on it.

Hyunjin’s gaze did not waver as his hand raised forward, finding themselves upon the bow at the top of the stockings as the other gently held your ankle. Untying the ribbon, he hooked his fingers under the tight fabric, your skin brushing against his knuckles. Slowly, he pulled down the stocking, uncovering your skin before him under the dim lamp light. When it bunched up, his hand at your ankle stretched the ends of fabric, sliding the stocking right off. 

Discarding it behind him, he repeated the unveiling on the other leg. He noticed your skin heating underneath his touch, and he dared not expose his growing delight. 

Once the other half slid off, joining its partner, a hand raised in front of you. You stared at him in dazed confusion, and his fingers curled, save for the pointer directed at your present. 

“The stockings, darling.”

The endearment had you falling short — his caresses on your shin brought you back to consciousness, your hand beyond your control as it handed the gift to him. Taking it, he put one of them beside him, bunching the other with his hands till he directed the entrance to your foot on his lap.

Slipping them on, he worked his way upon your heel; his hands were slow, fingers softer than the silk beginning to cover your leg. Every fleeting touch had small shockwaves coursing up your body, as if it was the first time he laid his hands on you. How were you so unaccustomed to his caresses still?

Maybe because he knew how to agonise you. 

When reaching above your knee, he brought the ends of the stocking to your thigh. His fingers fell to the ribbon dangling from the underside and, with the utmost care, began to tie the two pieces together, forming a pretty red bow. 

As he closed the pattern, he tightened the bow, securing the fabric — snuffing out any possibility for the fabric to fall.

He then continued on the other leg, gaze flickering from your legs to your face. He caught every laboured breath you released, every flutter of your eyes slipping you in and out of a daze. His fingers were slower still, as if he never wanted this to stop. The stockings were like a second skin, adding a lustre to your legs the more he covered you with it. 

Sliding over your knee for the last time, he held onto the blood-coloured ribbons. Fingers skimming against silk-stained skin, he tied another perfect bow, tightening it at the ends. 

All done.

His gaze lingered on the bows, the sliver of skin past your thighs. His hands too, refused to leave your legs.

It was then his eyes flicked upward — right into yours. 

You caught every swirl of desire residing inside. 

Every little detail etched on his face was stained with lustful anguish, suppressed hunger of things you dared not imagine. You held onto your skirts with more force, afraid you would lose strength in your hands. 

Hyunjin’s hands, however, had no such troubles.

For they began to carry out his wishes — they slid upwards, past the stockings and upon your upper thighs, spreading them enough to slip himself between your legs. This alone had you near crumbling for him, but his eyes asked for more. Even with the dim light, you had never seen a man so beautiful in agony. 

You wondered whether he was going to say anything. Silence was a giver of many answers, but the questions you held could only be answered by his lulling whispers. Despite protest, you willed your hands beside you, clutching the sheets, waiting for him to tear your soul in pieces. 

Finally, the Duke of Hastings parted his mouth.

“One word, angel.”

He squeezed your thighs softly. 

“One word, and I will never torment you with my presence again.”

A bated breath escaped you.

It was much too late for that. Hyunjin had already tormented you, had done so ever since your fateful realisation, and you knew he would do so for the rest of your life. It would hardly matter whether he was oceans apart or a hair’s breadth close — him, and everything he represented, was complete and utter affliction.

Such a shame that he was a torment you would sacrifice everything to be around every day. Such a horrible, horrible shame that Hwang Hyunjin was a presence you loved more than you could let on.

Hence was the reason you did not answer him with words. What you wished to say was much too vulnerable.

No, you answered him in actions — replied with your hands raising to clasp his face, leaning down to envelope your lips with his. 

You were surprised to hear a pained moan leave his mouth, and you realised that was the sound of pure, heart-breaking relief. Instantly his hands travelled further as he kissed you back with twice the fervour, hands sliding to grip your waist. Pulling you to him, he erased any distance between you, delving deeper into your mouth. He shuddered at how he went so long without your tongue swirling along with his, like parting from a lost companion.

Fingers sliding to his neck, you welcomed his enthusiasm, his desperation which heightened with every searing touch, every soft bite of his teeth against your lips. He broke away, peppering open-mouthed kisses along your jaw, eliciting the sweetest whining from you. 

“...missed you,” he murmured on your skin, sending chills down your body as he kissed the edges of your dress's neckline. “I...missed you so much.”

“Hyunjin—” you began, wanting to say that you yearned for him, but the words on your tongue faded when his fingers bunched up the skirts of your gown, hitching it higher until the midnight stockings were back in view — he did not stop there, pushing the fabric further till it bunched at your waist, along with the petticoats. His hurried hands pulled down your underthings, sliding them right off your legs, discarding them behind them.

Seeing your cunt glistening in the lamplight nearly broke him.

“I—God,” he breathed out, hands spreading your legs apart. An aching whine escaped you at the action, the cool night air caressing your inner thighs. “Angel, tell me...we do not have to do this.” He glanced up at you, and the madness residing in his eyes infected your soul. 

Maybe madness was the only reason you damned the consequences.

“Don’t you dare stop.”

Hyunjin licked his lips before blessing you with his closure.

The first stripe across your slit set you on fire. 

A soft groan through your mouth at the familiar sensation, the overbearing feeling of being ascended far away from this obscure bedroom. He had always worked wonders, but this time, the languor had faded, desire hardening his tongue against your folds. He pulled on your legs, sending his face further into your cunt, and you yelped at the ferocity of his actions. 

There was no denying it — the man had grown frantic without you.

Swiping in the arousal coating along your slit, a satisfied hum escaped him as he travelled upwards, your seething more encouragement. He struck gold as he found your clit, circling his tongue along the bud, rendering you helpless as you moaned without shame. You cared little if the guests heard you beyond the door, your husband making it too hard to contain yourself.

Perhaps you would have survived his treatment if he did not leave one of his hands upon your leg, trailing up your thigh. He slipped in not one, but two fingers straight inside, and your voice raised an octave — the gradual rhythm of his digits had that overflowing feeling creeping over you all over again. Your grip on his half-ponytail tightened, pleading for him to give you mercy, but the man was relentless, never opting for a break in his devouring.

“Damn it, please—” you grated out, instinctively rolling your hips against his face. The edge of the bed seemed more like the edge of the world. “Wh-whatever you do—”

You did not finish as Hyunjin squeezed your thigh, and you knew then in your dazed mind — a certainty that he understood. 

Within moments his pace quickened, fuelling the spark of nerves which swirled in your gut, threatening to overtake you. Teething your clit softly, then swirling his tongue along, you knew that if he carried on, he would break you on this bed. Something within you felt as if that was his was his very purpose.

Why the thought thrilled you, you would never know.

His rapid fingers and sensual tongue working harmoniously finally got through to you, as, with a whimpering cry, you came all over him, closing your eyes as spots of white stained your mind. You felt his ministrations slow, a small kiss gifted upon your sensitive clit before his lips pulled away. Other hand brushing across your leg, he soothed you from the high you experienced, whispers of his lilting voice perking you from your stupor.

“Hyunjin?” you quietly called, gazing at his lust-struck face. He did not look away as he brought the finger to his lips, sucking away at your residue.

You did not think you could ever get used to this image.

“Yes, angel?” he rasped out, straightening on his knees so his head nearly levelled with yours.

Catching the implications within your eyes, his own widened slightly.

“More?” he let himself wonder, and when you nodded much too desperately, he realised he had done it. 

All he needed was for you to voice it.

“Oh, my sweet little darling,” he whispered, taking one of your gloved hands. Slowly, he slid off the long gloves, repeating the same for the other. “This time, I cannot let you off.

His hands then clasped yours. “This time...I need you to say what you want for me.”

The declaration would have had you closing your legs in embarrassment if your husband was not between them. Not even embarrassment for what he said but...the idea of you wanting to completely oblige it.

Look at you — a few months ago, you possessed not a single inclination of what he suggested; what he asked for, what he so direly wanted you to say. The woman before this one would have rather buried herself under the earth than admit such desire for a man.

The Duke of Hastings, though, brought her out from her underground retreat, and revealed to her all that she was capable of. He showed her what everyone was so afraid to even talk about, and made you addicted to what was forbidden.

A dire shame you wanted Hyunjin to keep you intoxicated for the rest of your life.

You faced him once and for all. Asked him for the one thing which you never thought imaginable.

“Show me...all of it.”

Your hands travelled to his shoulders, keeping him close.

“Show me everything.”

If there was a way to bottle this moment and hang it on the walls of his heart, Hyunjin would have jumped at the chance.

Had he defiled you, after so long? Had he slipped his dirty fantasies into your mind, tainted you with his infatuation?

The answers to his questions were found upon your lips. He collided his own against yours as he gathered you up in his arms, standing up and taking you with him.

Your legs would have given way if we’re not for him keeping his grip — a grip which wandered upwards, catching the little metal hooks of your dress. He thrust his tongue inside your mouth, and the harsh frenzy delighted you, welcoming all of it as you opened for him wider. A shuddered breath escaped you at the hooks being undone by his hands, one by one till you felt your gown loosen.

At the last hook, Hyunjin pulled the sleeves off your arms, and the dress fell to the floor, leaving you with your corset and petticoats. You were caught off guard when he swivelled you around, you feeling the tugs of lace being unravelled with each pull of his fingers. The kisses did not cease, being rewarded at the crook of your neck. Each caress of his lips sent shivers down your spine — more so when he eased off the corset from your body, tugging off your petticoats along with it. 

All that was left was a thin, loose chemise, everything shown clearly beneath the white veil of its fabric. The man turned you to face him again, and his gaze turned molten at the sight that welcomed him. Taking your lips in his, he ripped off his own attire — the long coat, waistcoats, every piece from the waist up being discarded. He had to break away for a moment to take his shirt off, and you caught the sight of his lean figure, turned golden in the light. 

You could not help reaching out, running your curious fingers against his skin, soft and warm beneath your touch. He dared not speak, fearing you would take away your hand, but that was the last thing you wanted to do. 

Tonight, you did not want distance — and neither did he.

Kissing you again, he pulled the lace in front of your chemise, loosening the attire until, with wandering hands, he dropped the last layer you upheld. Slowly, never leaving your lips, he backed you against the bed, holding you steady as he laid you upon the sheets. You never let go of him, aching to take all of him in your mouth, taste his very soul till it was the only thing that remained on your tongue. 

“Fuck—” a curse escaped him as he broke away, catching the swelling of your lips. His gaze trailed downwards, upon your breasts which perked at the sight. “You’re so—so beautiful, I—”

Trails of open-mouthed kisses attacked you after, falling upon your breasts where Hyunjin began swiping his tongue along the nipple. The foreign wave of pleasure had you ripping out the most atrocious moan, caring less if the whole manor were to hear. 

While his tongue played with you, his fingers worked at his trousers, unbuckling his belt as he peeled off the clothing, tossing it to the ever growing pile. You craned your head forward, glancing at the bulge near bursting from his underwear. A quivering sigh escaped you, rendering louder by the quickening of his actions.

Getting rid of his underwear, his cock sprung free, and you were surprised you had not passed out from the mere sight, red and angry and too bloody big. You could not stop staring, hard to believe that a man could possess such...such substantial anatomy.

“Like what you see, angel?” Your husband mused, leaving his place upon your nipple. Flustered, you tried to look away, but it was no use, when the man caught your chin with his fingers. “I’m surprised you can be shy even now.”

That did not help with your situation, causing you to heat drastically beneath his touch. Chuckling, he dropped a little kiss upon your nose before resting his forehead against yours. 

Grasping his cock, he levelled it against your leaking cunt, the head teasing your folds. Even the small action had you seething, the warm residue sending shockwaves across your body. You held onto his neck, fearing you would lose yourself if you dared not hold onto him.

His midnight eyes turned to yours, noses brushing. “This may hurt for a second, ____,” he confessed, voice barely a murmur. “But I promise I will make that second up to you.”

Nodding slightly, you watched only him as his gaze travelled downwards. Fear threatened to take over, but one look at your husband, and it all faded.

With a final prayer to the heavens, Hyunjin began his descent.

Slowly, ever so slowly, his cock slid into your cunt. A heightened whine bubbled up to your throat, and you let it free with each inch that entered, terrified that this man could break you with what he slipped inside you. Your walls tightened with its entrance, and the more you voiced out the more he tended, peppering sweet kisses upon your cheeks.

You did not know how long it was till he stopped, letting you adjust to him inside you. Your eyes threatened to bulge out of their sockets, yet your husband was a huge comfort, circling smooth strokes upon your hip with his thumb, holding your face as he held the universe in his hands.

Breathing deeply, he glanced at you — a nod was your response to his consoling gaze, knowing what he meant.

With that, the duke began to pull out.

He was slow, just as he was when he first entered you. He was gradual, languid, and the terror that haunted you was replaced with a new, different kind of high. 

You had never felt something so pleasurable.

You revealed your surprise to Hyunjin, stare glistening at the foreign sensation — your entire body was up in the clouds, relishing the slow withdrawal and the skill he brought in the bedroom. You were so sure that he was terrified too, scared of ruining this, but all you could feel was pure, unadulterated delight.

When the head reached the beginning of your folds once again, you thought that this was it — there was no more to be done, and your contentment was short-lived.

However, your husband surprised you as he slid inside you once again. 

This time, there was a slight increase of pace, and it kept getting better, your feelings heightening with each passing second as he dipped further into you. He was so unbelievably good, knowing just how to make you whimper — God, his gaze was enough to undo you, ablaze with all the hellfire from the underworld. The devil worked hard, but Hyunjin worked overtime, bottoming out into you once more.

From that point on, your bodies began to move in sync, you giddily moving your hips along with his, aching to have him inside the whole time. Your hands carded through his velvety locks, taking out the ribbons so his hair fell all about him, curtailing his face as he rocked back and forth upon you. By God, he was so exquisite, something straight out of an artist movement, despite the sweat beading down his forehead, despite the parted mouth, the slight panting.

“H-Hyunjin—” you began, interrupted by another sharp moan from his efforts. “Hyunjin, I think I’m close—”

This time, you were interrupted by his lips upon your neck, teething love bites everywhere upon your skin. He hummed against you at your warning, and thrusted his cock into you. The head reached a certain spot which had you seeing seventh heaven, seeing truth and peace and everything in between, because fuck, he knew where to strike.

You did not know how long it had been till you felt yourself dizzying, the feeling in your lower abdomen warning you of its leash snapping. Hyunjin, aware that you were close, only brought his fingers to your clit, prodding at the bud till tears stung your eyes. 

“I...fuck, angel—!” He gasped between thrusts, pressing sloppy kisses upon your lips. “Look at you, all...all messed up from my cock!”

Heightened wailing was your response, broken murmurs being spewed from your lips. Hastily the man shook his head, revelling in your utter ruination.

“Ah—! Come on now!” he cooed in his husky rasp, holding onto your head. “Say it for me, darling.”

A part of you did not think you could manage, but you had to if it meant he would bring you relief. The duke may have been the love of your life, but he was still, undoubtedly, a smug bastard. 

Despite that, you could not believe how easily you resorted to begging. 

“Please, Hyunjin!” You pleaded in half-pants, the tears spilling when he delved into that one particular spot again. “Make me do—whatever the hell I do, damn it!”

Huffing out a small laugh, the man held onto you a little tighter, retaining his grin. “Oh, ____,” he said, and the next words slipped out in his haze of lust, not realising he had revealed something of terrible importance.

After planting another disheveled kiss, he murmured, “You are so lucky that I love you.”

You did not have time for this declaration to settle before your husband obliged you in the best possible way; his thrusting turned erratic, fast and uneven, and the increased pace of his fingers was too much, all at once.

You had no choice but to let out a cry as you spilled onto him — some escaped from your walls and stained the sheets, whimpering breaths keeping you alive. His ministrations slowed as well, fingers stopping at your clit. 

Watching you undo yourself for him was certainly the last straw for him — for the first time he released into you, grunting at the impact. Parts of his orgasm, too, sullied the sheets, but that was the least of his concerns, as he held onto you for dear life, nearly shattering his entire self upon you.

Pulling out of you, he collapsed beside you on the bed, his deep breaths breaking the silence. You, too, panted for a while, gazing up at the dark ceiling. 

You expected your first thought to be utter delight at your first time. You had finally done what no one in polite society ever told you about, and it was so wonderful that you doubt anyone would have shared in your fortune. 

However, your mind was occupied with another matter entirely.

You are lucky that I love you.

You closed your eyes. 

Hyunjin loved you. Hwang Hyunjin, your best friend and husband, loved you when you thought it impossible.

Something within you then wondered if it was too good to be true.

“____?”

Noticing your name, you turned, finding the very man staring at you — in a way which would have your theories proven true. You did not know about yourself, but seeing him before you, black locks disheveled, skin glistening from sweat, you could not deny that anyone would fall for him if they saw him now. 

You tried to push your emotions past you, blinking back a bit of fatigue. “Yes?”

“Tell me what goes on in that mind of yours.” Turning over, he propped his arm, holding his head in his hand. “Are you alright?”

Perhaps you should have opted for a vague yes, but something in you did not want to beat around the bush anymore. You wished to tell him your truth.

“I was wondering about what you said,” you began, reflecting his position. 

“I have said many things, darling,” the man drawled. “What do you specifically mean?”

“Well…” you tried to avoid his gaze, but you knew by now that evading Hyunjin was useless. “Before I...you know…”

“Know what?” He mused, which had you rolling your eyes. 

“You know what I mean!” Sighing, you continued, constantly looking at his features. “Well, just before that, you said something to me...is it true?”

Silence fell on the room as your husband pondered at your question. His eyebrows raised, and you realised that he had figured it out.

“Ah, yes,” he said, nodding. “I know exactly what you speak of.”

You waited for his response, suddenly aware of how naked you were in this bedroom. Dread curled at your stomach, and you debated grabbing the sheets and sneaking out of the manor. 

That is when Hyunjin gave you his answer. Gave it to you as he took your hand in both of his, pinning you with a stare he reserved only for you.

“They are the truest words I have spoken.”

He leaned into you, and your heart fluttered, much more dramatically now because of what he revealed.

A soul-saving smile adorned his lips. “Despite our circumstances, it was inevitable that I would fall, and I thank the heavens that I did. I love you, ____, even if you cannot return the feeling. I love you as the friend I never had.

“I love you because you are the most inspirational woman I have ever had the pleasure to meet.” 

When he finished, you wondered whether you had the words to respond to a confession as heart-wrenching as the one your husband blessed you with. Tears pricked the corners of your vision, and you leaned into his hands which cupped your face.

Brushing his lips against yours, you willingly accepted, giving him all the affection you garnered within you for so long. The tears trailed down your cheeks, and you had to pull away, hands curling at his locks.

“I-I…” you sniffled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Hyunjin, I-I love you so much—”

The man’s heart burst from his chest.

His rashness got the better of him, interrupting you with a searing kiss as he sunk his teeth into your bottom lip. 

Never in his lust-hazed mind did he foresee you reciprocating his affection.

He was ready to spend eternity in a one-sided relationship. He was ready to stomach the melancholy you brought if you were to fall for another, or if you simply never loved at all, blankly living your life without any form of affection to give.

But…to have you fall for him. 

What he said to you was wrong.

You were not lucky that he loved you.

He was lucky that you loved him. 

So the Duke of Hastings, pulling the clean sheets upwards, showed you how lucky he was, deepening the kiss and you offering all of you again, moving your lips along with his. 

And in this night, the two of you made another revelation — that perhaps reality was not the villain in the both of yours tales after all. 

THE DAYS AFTER THE BALL WERE NOTHING BUT EUPHORIA.

You wondered whether it was all a dream, with the happiness that followed without any strings attached. 

The passionate endeavours between the two of you did not stop at Seungmin’s manor — hands wandered in the carriage back home, and the moment you stepped at Lansdowne, Hyunjin backed you against the wall and ripped your dress right off, never wanting to stop ravishing you. You did not stop him, did not want to stop him, when you waited so long for him to engulf you without any barriers. By the time you both stopped in the shy hours of dawn, you had been drained of all physical strength, but filled with mental joy.

You fell in love with Hwang Hyunjin, and had the fortune of this love reciprocated. 

Sometimes, you wondered if it was all a dream — a twisted, subliminal illusion, tricking you into believing that marital life is what every writer writes of in the end, the solution filled with flowers and sweet kisses. You never thought, even in your wildest dreams, that you could achieve such bliss with another. 

Then, you would wake up with your husband’s arms around you, and finally understand. Finally comprehend what it meant, to never stray from a soul connected with yours. 

The weeks after also brought the finishing of your novel, your childhood dream all polished in your hands as you took it to the most famous publishers in town. You had fears of the reactions, as what you wrote during certain parts of the novel was borderline scandalous, but the men at the publishing house enjoyed the first few chapters you showed them, and asked for more on the next visit.

You were overjoyed by their reaction, but then doubt entered your mind at once — what if they were only agreeable to your writing because of your position? 

The thought soured your happiness. You did not want to be a writer because of your position in society, but because of your skill. There may have been thousands of other women with talents surpassing yours, but would never be able to achieve even the interest of a publisher. 

Hyunjin was the first to know of your news, and the worries which accompanied it. He listened to you on your second, third visits, scoffing at your disbelief of your turn of events. It was ridiculous in his mind how ardently you doubted yourself, waving off the publishers’ interests in your novel as sheer luck, or your station as the Duchess of Hastings. He assured you many a time, that your flair in creating stories surpassed no man or woman living in London. 

He knew those publishers well — well enough to know that they had never released a novel written by a woman, no matter how influential she may have been. Knowing you had managed to enter consideration for publishing was a feat in itself. The duke had absolutely no doubt that he would see your works in the hands of every person who knew how to read.

What you did not expect, however, was the request from the publishers to have your novel anonymously published. You demanded a reason, and they provided a whole list — women writing was only considered a secondary activity, and if word were to reach the city of a Duchess writing books instead of tending to her family, then it would cause an outrage. You could not believe your ears, despite a small part of you expecting this setback. 

You wanted your name on the book. 

Confiding in your husband once more, you told him of the condition, angrily pacing back and forth in your home. “It is simply...awful!” you spat, locking your hands behind your back, turning the room once more. Hyunjin watched you with a concerned look passing over his features as he looked up from his book. “Why should I hide my identity? I am proud of what I wrote, damn it!”

The man let out a sigh. “I think you should keep the name anonymous.”

That had you pausing. “I beg your pardon?” you demanded, thundering over to him. “Are you saying I conform to their conditions?”

“I am not suggesting it because of their reasoning. I know they are still too ashamed to try publishing a woman’s creation.” 

Closing his book, he set it to the side table. “My love, there is nothing that brings me more joy than seeing you accomplish your dreams. I want more than anything to boast of your mind, and the writings it invents. However,” he continued, “I fear when the public sees your name printed on the novel, a controversial one at that, and see it that they attack you.”

“But that does not matter to me,” you responded, hands on your hips. “In fact, I welcome their criticism! Let me see what poppycock they want to say of my hard work.”

Hyunjin clamped his lips together, trying to hide a smile. “I am happy you do not care for such people, but it would damage your future writings. It would damage your future.”

When you frowned at him, he held out his hands. You closed the distance, settling upon his lap, sliding your arms around his shoulders, while he did the same around your waist. “Tell me, angel, do you wish to write after this?”

“Of course.”

“Well, see it like this,” he began. “Let us say you publish the novel anonymously. It would be in instant circulation, and everyone would read it, no matter who they are. Why? Because your identity is hidden. There would be no bias against you.”

“So?” you asked, and Hyunjin gave you a look. “Okay, okay, continue!”

“As I was saying,” he carried on, “This would not only help you gain an initial audience, but, if you do wish to reveal yourself after that, then it would be perfect. You would have not only shown the public that a woman had written such a brilliant novel, but anyone who would have had previous biases would either conform to reading your writing, or be furious that they had been tricked into reading a woman’s novel.” He then added, smirking, “Which, in my opinion, would be a very amusing situation to witness.” 

You thought over what he said, mind in slight conflict. “In the end, though, it is your choice,” he reassured you. “Whatever you do, you have my undeterred support.”

The little addition had you smiling. “You make valid points,” you admitted, which had the man releasing a chuckle.

“You say that as if I have no intelligence,” he jeered, pulling you closer. “You will be thanking me when all of this goes as I predicted.”

“Don’t push it,” you countered. “We both know you have been proved wrong many times.”

“Hmmm…” he trailed off, leaning in, brushing his lips upon your skin. “At least I know I am right about one thing.”

“Oh?” Your head began to swim as he trailed a few lingering kisses up your neck. “And...and what would that be?”

He did not answer you — only offered an alluring smile before pressing his lips against yours. A soft hum left you as he moved his mouth against yours, slow and languid, teasing his tongue against the seams. 

You would have offered yourself right then and there if he had not broken away, drumming his fingers against your waist. The smile darkened as he gave you his reply.

“You cannot resist me, angel.” 

That, no matter how much it worked against your favour, was an undoubted fact.

After this though, you made your decision to keep anonymous, letting the publishers know of your change of heart. You knew that what Hyunjin said made sense, and, if your novel does receive recognition, then revealing yourself would create a huge statement in London society, positive or not. With this in mind, brought the final edited drafts of your work, and received information of the commissions and percentages taken by the publishing house.

Because the release of your novel was to take some time, you had some freedom with your everyday activities, which were once taken up by the constant editing. The duke, luckily, had begun to employ much more able men in his authority, and so his work was decreased significantly, to the point where he had days to spend with you alone.

During that waiting period, he suggested the two of you retreat to Hemingford, where you both spent your honeymoon. Your smile never left as you jumped at the idea, the man in turn making arrangements for the earliest carriage out of the city. 

Within two days, you were welcomed by the little manor, nestled in the gifts of nature. You found yourself warming to the whole place once more, memories of the past months returning in a flash. Images of the many groves of trees, small network of rivers and a special presence, soothed you in every part you walked through. You nearly forgot how dear Hemingford was to you in the chaos of city life, engulfing its regal, almost mystical atmosphere. A part of you hoped that the book would take forever to be published, so you could never leave the natural retreat Hyunjin’s ancestors had created.

The man himself was glad he opted to take you to the manor — he saw your nerves slowly taking over in London, and knew that the more you stayed in Lansdowne, the more the wait was going to eat you alive. Aware of your attachment towards this place, he made it his personal mission to bring you here, and try to provide you with a little peace. When he caught that certain smile of yours when your eyes fell on the manor and the gardens around it, he felt half his worries melting away in the spring air.

He hated seeing you so unnerved. 

After a few days resting in paradise, the situation was changed for the better. You, breathing in the very earth beneath your feet, observing the trees curved over you like a concerned parent, thought that you could stay here forever. Receiving a letter from the publishers’ of the near completion of copies made only brightened your spirits, and you sighed out into nature.

“Is something the matter?”

Perking up, you saw Hyunjin, who walked over from behind you. 

“Ah...not much,” you said, watching him settle beside you on the bench you sat upon, folding one dark-clad leg over the other. In his hands possessed a book of deep-shaded red, which he held with great care. “Thinking about the letter today.”

“I see.” His eyes wandered down to his fingers. “Actually, I do have something for you, relating to the subject.”

“Oh?” You followed his trail. “Does this book have something to do with it?”

“However did you figure that out?” He drawled, but then he faced you properly, unfolding his leg. “Here.”

You took the possession, eyes on him. “Whose book is it?”

A knowing smile escaped his lips. “Look at the front, angel.”

Curious, you obliged, checking the title. 

You completely stilled. 

Written on the front was the name of your novel. 

“Oh my God,” you got out, holding it with both hands, opening it to the pages. There it all was, inscripted upon the hundreds of pieces of paper.

Your writing.

Your sleepless nights, your labour, your every ounce of strength, tied together by paper and leather and string. 

Rushing, you opened to a random section of the novel, smile widening at the typewriter’s neat, cleaner version of your manic scribbles. The dialogue, the description of each environment — it was there before you, but this time it was not in your head, whirling indefinitely without a place to explain itself.

It was all on paper — in your very hands.

“H-Hyunjin,” you stammered out, not realising your heart was becoming a little too heavy. “Oh my God—where did you get this? Have they—they have begun to sell copies already?”

“Oh Lord,” your husband murmured, hands on your shoulders. “No, no, my love, this was of my own doing.”

When he caught the confused expression upon your aghast face, he explained further. “Before we left for London, I paid a visit to the publishers’, who had started typing up copies of your book. I requested the first copy made be given to me.”

His thumbs began to stroke soothing circles onto your skin. “I know you would have wanted to hold it in your hands before anyone else.”

Heavens above. He truly knew you so well.

You focused back on the book, closing it as you ran your fingers over the leather cover. “I…”

“No need,” he said, giving you an amused grin. “I already know I am the best husband one could ask for.”

He expected his banter to be returned, but you responded to him with a heart-shattering smile.

Holding out the book, you propped it in his hands. “I want you to have it, Hyunjin.”

This time, it was his turn to be confused. “Am I missing the joke here?”

You held his gaze, albeit with much difficulty. “I promised you something once, quite a long time ago. All my firsts are yours.” 

Your hand reached out, brushing against his. “This is my first novel. My most prized possession.” A pause, before holding that state with all your might. “I would want nothing more than for you to keep it.”

The duke used his every ounce of strength not to cry upon the bench. “Well then…” he began, taking the book from you. He turned to the front page, which was blank, save for the title name again, and the written anonymously typed onto its surface. “Well, ____, you must sign it for me!”

A laugh escaped you at that. “An autograph?” You jested, spluttering further when the man brought out his fountain pen, opening the cap. “I suppose with this enthusiasm, I shall throw in a little message.”

Hyunjin slapped a hand to his chest, brows raising in mock surprise. “By God, you spoil me!”

“Give it here!” You retorted, taking the pen and book once more as you found the landing page. 

You pondered for a few minutes on what to write, earning a few hurry ups! and the occasional she does not love me after all, the latter greatly exaggerated. Berating him, you finally thought of the words, arriving straight from the heart. 

Finishing off, you gave the novel back. “Let us see what faux sweetening you have made for me,” he chortled, eyes lowering to the text.

His grin began to fade as he read the message in his mind.

TO THE MAN WHO WAS MY FIRST FRIEND, MY FIRST KISS, AND NOW MY FIRST LOVE.

HERE’S TO MANY MORE FIRSTS WITH YOU. I KNOW THEY WILL ALL LAST. 

I LOVE YOU. 

Hyunjin knew that the sting in his eyes was not the spring breeze.

Slowly, he looked up, catching you staring at him with a smile—loving smile upon your face. A shuddered breath left his lips, unable to form the words.

“Oh no,” you began, jesting despite tears welling up in your own eyes. “It seems the duke believes in my faux sweetening after all.”

A coughed laugh left him at that, trying to clamp his lips together from smiling, but his emotions refused him to suppress himself. His eyes crescented, adding to his near teary grin. Propping the book to the side, he offered his familiar stare, laced with every fibre of affection.

“Come here.”

You jumped at the command, leaning closer as he cupped your face in his hands and pulled you to him. He moulded his lips against yours, and you readily accepted him, offering yourself up entirely for him — as if you were not completely his by your own choice.

The slight madness laced upon his mouth had you whining onto him, taking in the entirety of his affection as you opened up to him. Your request was teased upon with his tongue, sliding along your bottom lip, but the man pulled away, panted breaths fanning your mouth.

He pressed his forehead against yours, fingers holding onto your face as if letting go would cause you to stray. “I…” he let out a deep, trembling breath. “I love you, ____. So much.”

Your heart would never tire of the declaration. “I love you too, Hyunjin.”

And as he claimed your lips once more, you wondered whether you had finally achieved what every work of literature praised in the most elevated of languages. 

Still, at least you knew this — that once there was a duke who you promised all your firsts to, and had somehow found his way into your heart. 

There was once a woman, who refused to believe in love for herself, only for this duke to convince her otherwise, by falling for her completely.

Love stories may be a mere creation of the mind, but at least, at the very least, you knew.

Your love story was real. The first which was not mere fantasy, but real and true and tangible.

You had a feeling that this first, out of all the others you shared with the Duke of Hastings, was going to last.

[dreamescapeswriting]

On The Run ~ MYG [Request]

WORD COUNT: 4.8k

PAIRING: Bodyguard!Yoongi x Reader

GENRE: Bodyguard!Au, fluffy, enemies to lovers, Yoongi has a soft spot for reader, Reader has a soft spot for Yoongi, 

WARNINGS: Mentions of dead bodies, blood, mafia, underworld dealings,

A/N: Yes I am simping over Tatsu from the anime “The way of The house husband” so I used his name 😭😭 I feel like this is a little fast-paced so I’m sorry x I hope you like it though my love

Running away. That was your life now. There was no staying in one place, no settling down in some small village. Just running. Don't let people know who you are and never let anyone know your name. All of the joys of being on the run. But this was better than the life you had. At least this was a life. This was better than the way you were living before and you were never going to look back on it. 

"Hey! Come back here!" A voice shrieked as you sprinted in the direction of the motel you were staying in. Panicked that they were going to catch up to you as you carried the backpack full of food with you. Run. Don't look back. Don't speak. Don't stop. Don't ever second guess a thing. Only move at night. Don't go out in the day. Just Run.

Tatsu Susaki one of the most feared men in the whole of South Korea. Everyone knew his name and face, even if they barely turned on the news or read a newspaper they knew him. Tatsu had moved from Japan to take over the South Korean underground, bored of whatever life he had back in Japan. 

The man everyone called the immortal dragon, everyone feared him even if he was just walking down the street. People would stop what they were doing to pay their respects to him with money or gifts. The scariest man in the country and the one you were in a relationship with. Though it didn't feel like a relationship to you. 

To you, it felt as though you were trapped with him rather than his girlfriend. Held hostage in his huge mansion of a home because you had fallen for a stupid pickup line not too long ago. If you had known it would have lead to this kind of life you never would have taken him up on his offer of a date.

"Where are you going?" A voice called out as you attempted to walk out of the back door. Sighing to yourself you had almost forgotten that Yoongi was in the house. Yoongi was your personal torture device. 

In other words, he was your bodyguard. 

The one you were adamant that you didn't need but Tatsu insisted upon giving to you. On the rare occasion that you were allowed out of the house, Yoongi would go with you. Everywhere. Shopping with friends, Yoongi would be there. Going to dinner with family, Yoongi would be there. Not that you were ever out with friends and family anymore.

It was as though Yoonig was attached to you at the hip. 

"To the back garden, are we going to have a problem with that?" You asked snarkily as you turned to look at him. Neither of you got along with one another. Yoongi didn't want to be there any more than you did.

He'd joined Tatsu's family with the intention of getting into the business. Not being someone's personal babysitter.

It was a Sunday which meant Tatsu was out of the house doing lord knows what and you could do whatever you wanted...Within reason. 

The man ordered you around like you were his daughter rather than his girlfriend. You didn't have a life outside of Tatsu's world anymore. He'd cut you off from everyone you had loved.

Friends no longer wanted to be around someone who would associate themselves with someone from the underworld. Your family were cut off from you because they disapproved or disrespected Tatsu in some kind of way. It was cut off or be killed and you made the decision to keep your family alive and well.

"You know you have to tell me everywhere you go," Yoongi told you as he watched you standing by the door. Hand clutching onto the handle as if it was your life support.

"Even when I have to go the bathroom? Or what about when I have to leave the house because my boyfriend is cheating on me?" 

Yoongi looked at you sadly. It was no secret that Tatsu would cheat on you almost all of the time, he could do whatever he wanted meanwhile you were barely allowed to speak to anyone outside of his social circle. If you went out to parties together you were to sit there and look pretty. 

His exact orders. He would give you an expensive dress and accessories before making you sit on a chair all night without speaking to another soul. 

"You have to tell me everything and where you at all times." Yoongi stepped into the kitchen to be near you in case you made a sprint for the exit. Not that there was a way out of the back garden. If you had somehow managed to jump the 10-foot brick wall there were dogs around the property. 

"Oh, so I'm like your little puppy. You get to take me on walks and feed me." You faked a giant smile on your face but Yoongi wasn't impressed.

"Y/n there's no need for this, we've been through this a million times before." It felt like billions to you. All you wanted to do was get out of this relationship but Tatsu had made it clear there was only one way out and that was in a wooden box in the ground. 

"I'll keep going through it until you leave me alone." You grumbled, hand dropping from the handle once you realised he was going to follow you out there. All you wanted to do was go gardening for a little while. 

"I can't. I'm paid to look after you." Rolling your eyes you stared at him,

"I'll pay you more"

"We both know you can't." He counted but you just opened the door not stepping out as you turned to Yoongi.

"I'm going to the garden." You grumbled as you walked out of the back door and down towards the greenhouse. Yoongi's eyes widened once he realised you were going toward the greenhouse. The one place he had been ordered to keep you out of. 

"Y/n! wait! The boss said not-" He couldn't finish his sentence as you pushed the door to the greenhouse open. Letting out a scream of terror as you saw the blood pooling on the ground coming from a body. 

"Is he fucking joking?!" You screamed instantly turning to hide your face in Yoongi's chest as he pulled you out of the greenhouse. His arms wrapping around you as he tried to comfort you, broken sobs leaving your mouth.

Fear crippling as you pictured the dead body lying there on the floor. The greenhouse was your one safe space, the one place you could go without it being ruined by Tatsu's world but that was now gone.  

"I was under strict rules not to let you in there." Images of the body flashed into your head over and over again as you pushed Yoongi away from you

"I want to go out." You snapped, needing to do something to get the image of the swollen body from your mind. There was nothing that would ever make you forget the stench of decay or the colour that splattered the floor. 

"You're not allowed today," Yoongi spoke as he began following you back into the house.

"Why?" It was a dumb question to which you already knew the answer.

"Because-"

"He said so." You mumbled in unison as you looked to Yoongi a part of you hoped that one-day Yoongi would feel so bad for you he'd let you go.

The only reason you hadn't run away was that Tatsu threatened everyone you loved and told you that he could find you no matter where you were. 

"He has left orders for you though,"

"Of course he has," You uttered as you walked towards the grand staircase in the foyer. 

"He has left a dress in the guest room, someone will be round to do your hair and makeup," Yoongi told you as you continued to walk up the stairs in silence. 

"I'm going to take a bath." You told him as you reached the top of the stairs, turning to face him as he looked up at you. 

"Shall I let you know when the stylists have arrived?" You hummed before walking towards your room. It wasn't as though you shared a bedroom with Tatsu, you were just there to look good for him. The two of you hardly spoke a word to one another since the first date. Unless it was him telling you off or speaking about you right in front of you.

Another night another boring party. Sitting in the booth watching as your "boyfriend" dance with other girls, kissed them and bought them drinks. The way in you had been photographed together, his hand practically cutting off your circulation when you had tried to avoid being seen by the cameras. 

"Y/n," You glanced at Yoongi who sat down in front of you. Raising an eyebrow at him you wondered why he had come over to you.

"We could play a game?"

"A game?" You questioned a little apprehensive that he was suddenly trying to be nice to you right now. 

"Sure, to stop you from being so bored." He seemed to be genuinely trying to make this a better experience for you but it wasn't going to work. 

"What do you propose we do?" You looked at him before looking around the room. It wasn't as if you were allowed to get up and dance. What did he expect you to do? Sit and count how many people your boyfriend made out with. 

"Eyespy."

"Eyespy what am I, 10?" You questioned him.

"Just, come on." You rolled your eyes before looking around you to see what Yoongi was going to pick for his first go.

"Eyespy something beginning with S." Eyes darted around the room until you saw the giant ice sculpture in the centre of the room. 

"Snake." You mumbled as you answered Yoongi, he nodded and waiting for you to go next. Moving to sit beside Yoongi you smiled, nudging into him a little. 

"Eye spy with my little eye, something beginning with C.," You said to him as you looked at Tatsu. 

It continued on until you found yourself actually having fun with Yoongi. Forgetting for a moment that you were being forced to be at the party. 

Giggling a little when you told Yoongi you had found something he was sure you'd never find you looked at him instead of where Tatsu was around the room. 

"What are you doing?" Yoongi stood up straight and stared ahead at the crowd as Tatsu spoke with you. 

"I was just having fun." You whispered as you looked at him. Swallowing the lump in your throat as you saw his eye twitch, something he did when he was mad. 

"You're not here to have fun. You're here to sit there and look good!" He snapped making you flinch as you looked up at him, you never wanted to get on the wrong side of something with Tatsu so you nodded.

"I want you to sit here, alone." He left taking Yoongi with him as he ordered him to stand with the other guards on the other side of the room. 

Hours passed by and Tatsu was still speaking with different girls on the dance floor. Letting their bodies brush against his own while you watched from the distance. 

Yoongi had been moved to the other side of the room to stop you from talking to him. His eyes still trained to you as you watched Tatsu cheat on you for the ninth time that week. It was like he wanted you to watch as he cheated on you. Yet another powerplay of his. 

Was it even a relationship when he was forcing you to be there? You were a captive. 

Tatsu's eyes shut as he began to kiss down the woman's neck. It was your chance to break away without him noticing at first glance. Too busy with another woman's lips on his. You knew the bathroom had a window large enough to crawl through and you had a way out of the parking lot of the hotel you were in. 

Standing up from the booth you began to make your way through the crowd of people. Pushing yourself past people who were grinding against one another drunkenly. Yoongi frowned when the crowds parted and he could no longer see you sitting where he had left you. 

Glancing over your shoulder you made sure Tatsu was still busy before you crashed into the bathroom there was no lock so you had to make quick work of everything. 

Kicking off the heels you were wearing before opening the window, glancing out at it. The bathroom was one floor up from the small alleyway below you. The height wasn't enough to hurt yourself and the window opened just enough for you to get through so you began pushing yourself through the gap. 

Whimpering when you hit the pavement one floor below you. Digging through the front of your dress to grab the keys you had swiped from Yoongi. 

Yoongi panicked as he saw you weren't in the room anymore, his eyes darted towards the exit. There was no way you had gone out of there since there were three guards there the whole time. 

"What's going on?" Someone asked into the speaker in his ear. 

"Yoongi left his post." Another said. 

"Accompanying Y/n to the bathroom." He hissed as he walked towards the bathroom door, knocking on it and waiting for you to shout at him for following you but you didn't. There was no sound from inside of the room. That made him freak even more. Normally you would scream some kind of verbal abuse at him for following you to the bathroom.

"Y/n?" He called out moving into the room only to find your shoes on the ground. Bending down he picked them up and looked at the window.

"Shit." He walked back out calmly making sure no one was watching him as he headed for the exit. You probably went for air. You had to have gone for air. if you were gone he'd bed dead.

Roaring to life the motorbike engine you smiled as you finally saw your way out. Yoongi's motorcycle. You mentally thanked him for playing eye spy with you earlier in the night. It was the only way you could have ever gotten the keys to his bike. 

"Y/n." Your head span to look at Yoongi who was staring at you from the alleyway.  

"Don't," He warned as you put your leg over the seat and began to rev the engine. There was no going back. You were going. No one was going to stop you. 

Taking in a deep breath you began to ride down the road, Yoongi racing after you as he watched you closely, weaving in and out of cars that were in your way. You weren't speeding just going a little over the limit when you saw a car that belonged to one of Tatsu's men coming your way.

"Fuck!" You screamed halting to a stop and racing to get down one of the small alleys without being seen but a man crossed the road making you scream. Your hand pressed frantically on the break causing you and the bike to skid into the alleyway.

Yoongi raced to you, praying that neither the driver nor passenger in Tatsu's car had seen that it was you on the bike. Did he think you weren't going to get seen? You were wearing a designer lace dress wearing one of the most expensive necklaces in the entire world. 

"Y/n." He hissed pulling you to hide in the alley as he looked at you. Your leg had a cut on your calf but it didn't look as though it was going to cause you any kind of distress. 

"Leave me alone." You begged him as you began to cry heavily, the thought of going back to Tatsu killing you inside. There wasn't anything that could make you go back into that building. You were through being the girl who was there to make him look good. 

"Leave me alone, I need to get away." You begged with him to leave you, hitting his chest as he continued holding you tightly in his arms.

"Tell him I escaped. Tell him I died. Let me go." You pleaded with him. Each plea breaking Yoongi more and more as he listened to the desperation in your voice. 

"Y/n I can't." He told you as he rocked you a little in his arms, doing his best to ignore the aching inside of him to take you away from everything. 

"Give me some time to get away." Turning to look up at him he stared at you as he saw the pain in your eyes. That was the sign he needed to get you out of there. 

"Go home. Pack light." He whispered as he stood you up, looking at your leg as he checked it out. Nothing bad that warranted a trip to a doctor. Nothing that can't be fixed by him when he gets you somewhere safe.

"What?" You sniffled as you looked at him, wondering what he was talking about. 

"For once Y/n, please just do as you're told." You nodded at him as he pressed the earpiece on his ear.

"I'm taking Y/n home, she's sick." He spoke out to the other guards, you knew that Tatsu would either stay in the hotel with the girl he was with or find somewhere so you didn't have to worry about that. Yoongi looked at you before walking with you towards his bike. Standing it up once again, giving you a helmet from the seat hatch. 

"Put this on and hold onto my waist." He whispered to you as he sat on the seat.

"Where are we going?" You panicked as you watched Yoongi shoving your clothes into a backpack that you had given to him. He'd changed into black jeans and a hoodie from his room in the house. Throwing some of his own clothes in the bag with yours. 

"Change." He ordered as he looked at you, you were still standing there in the dress. Reaching to you he unclasped the necklace and laid it out onto the dressing table. Maybe if Tatsu saw that you had nothing of his he would let you get off easy. At least that was what Yoongi was hoping would happen. 

"Bring something he wouldn't expect you to wear." He ordered again as you grabbed some ripped blue jeans, a black top with a blue jean jacket. Taking the clothes from your hands he pushed them into the bag.

"Change into something he would expect. Hurry." You could hear the panic in his voice as you rushed to the bathroom changing just as quickly as he had told you to. 

Yoongi had all of the cash he had available to him. Around ₩1250000 he'd saved up and stashed in his room away from Tatsu.

"What are you going to do?" You questioned as he began pulling you down the stairs. This was the most panicked you'd ever seen Yoongi become and you had no question to rationalise what was happening and what he had planned for you both. 

Yoongi said nothing as he began pulling you out of the front door and looking around. Guards were changing at the shifts. It gave you ten minutes to get out without being seen. 

"Get on. Hold on." He ordered as he revved the engine of his bike. You sat behind him, hands clutching around his waist as he began to ride down the road. Helmets masking who you were for a little while but he knew it wasn't going to be enough. Yoongi was already one step ahead of everything that was going in his mind. He had a plan, he had no idea if it was going to work but he was going to try.

Just as you got outside of Seoul he stopped in a random parking bay on an empty road.  

"What are we doing?!" You panicked looking at him as he began handing you clothes. The clothes he'd told you to bring that Tatsu wouldn't expect you to wear.

"Change. It's the middle of the night, no one is going to see." He mumbled as he bent down beside his boke and began to take off the plate. 

"That illegal." You sniffled not realising that you were crying until you let out a small cry. Yoongi stared at you,

"Do you want to get away or not!?" He snapped harshly at you, not wanting to be rude but needing to get on the move as quickly as you both could. You nodded changing as he switched the plates around. 

The two of you needed to get out of Seoul as quickly as humanly possible, it was only going to get you some time to be away from Tatsu. Before he and his men noticed you weren't at home.

"Yoongi?" You whispered as you watched him standing back up, he'd changed into a leather jacket and some jeans. Both of you in new clothes and new plates on the bike and yet he still hadn't told you what the plan was. 

"We're heading back into the town. We need to get seen by cameras, this way it'll look like we went towards Busan on my bike but this is a new bike, new plates. He won't think to check it yet." He explained as he got onto the bike, your arms wrapped around his waist. You were trusting someone you previously hated and gave shit to. 

"Where are we really going?" You asked him before he started the engine. It wasn't as if you could talk while it was running.

"Damyang."

"Whats in Damyang?" You questioned.

"My parents. I can get us more money, I can get supplies and from there we're on the run." Everything felt as though it was moving at 100mph.

"We?" 

"You think he won't kill me for letting you go. Yes, we." He looked at you over his shoulder to see if that was okay and you nodded.

"We." You agreed as he started the engine. Driving out back into town as you kept your head resting on his back. Praying that this was going to work somehow. That Tatsu was going to leave you alone or at least have no idea where you were.

The middle of nowhere was where you had landed together the next day. Broad daylight and Yoongi decided to stop in some dingy motel. 

"We can stay here for now." He explained as he came out of a small office holding a key to a room. 

"Motel room for the night," You laughed as you looked at it. There had to be some kind of trap to this,

"Do you think I'm stupid?! You're going to tell him where to find us." You screamed out in a panic but he yanked you into the room and shook his head. Covering your mouth with his hand so that you didn't draw unwanted attention to one another. Daylight was going to be the worst time for you both. It was easy for you to be spotted, at least if you slept through the days and moved only at night it would be easier.

"No. The bike is hidden. We have to draw the curtains." He mumbled as he began shutting everything up. Blocking the door with one of the chairs that were in the room, adding a table so that you would hear if someone tried the door handle. 

The two of you alone in a room with one bed, it was like something out o a cheesy romance novel.

"How long we will be like this?" You questioned as you sank down onto the floor at the foot of the bed.

"Forever probably...You know what he's like." He whispered as he sat down on the floor at the end of the bed with you. You looked at him. For the first time since the night before you realised how badly this was all going to affect his life and not just yours anymore.

"I'm sorry. I-I never should have made you do this-"

"Made me? Y/n I did this because I could see how much pain you were in. How badly you needed out of there...It wasn't right for him to do this." You looked at him sitting closer to him as you nodded. Seeing him in a whole new light because he showed you a simple act of kindness. 

"I promise he'll never hurt you or come near you...We can run forever." You smiled weakly before leaning forward and kissing him softly. 

"Thank you." You breathed out, leaning your head on his shoulder and closing your eyes and for the first time in ever sleeping peacefully through the day. 

Yoongi came around with the bike and looked at you as you stood out in the middle of the pathway. Middle of the night and you were just standing there, taking in the air and the scenery around you. 

"What are you doing?" He questioned watching you standing there. Arms spread as you took in deep breaths as if it was the last time you were ever going to do this but it was the opposite reason. It was the first time you were allowed to be out in the open like this. No guards, no rules, no restrictions. 

"We're free...I-I don't have to be ordered around." You whispered as you looked at him, he was smiling the most you'd ever seen him smile ever. It was one of the cutest smiles you'd ever seen, such a cute gummy bear smile. 

"I can be me...I don't have to listen to someone telling me to sit and be quiet." You breathed out tears rushing down your cheeks as you realised just how free you were now. Yoongi wiped your face with his thumb and smiled, kissing your lips softly. You smiled against his lips as you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck until he pulled back from you.

"Get on." He whispered as he got onto the bike first and steadied himself.

He drove off. Your arms in the air as you let the wind rush over you both enjoying the newfound freedom that you had. 

"Drive," You laughed to Yoongi as you climbed into the backseat of the truck that Yoongi was waiting inside of. A year on the run and you were still going. Motel rooms in the day, driving in the night. With the two of you awake in the night, it was as though you were the only ones in the world. Just the two of you against the world.

"Did you get seen?" He asked a little panicked when he saw a man rushing after the car. You climbed through to the front seat and shook your head.

"No, he was asking for my number so I bolted," Yoongi smirked as he ran his hand up your thigh giving it a small squeeze.

"That's my girl." He chuckled as he began heading towards the motorway, the next stop on your list was Geoje. You were going to keep driving until you found a motel or until daytime came around. Whichever came by first.

"I told you to pay for the gas and get out," Yoongi laughed as you looked out behind you. The man was waving you back as you shook your head at Yoongi. 

"Not my fault I'm irresistible." You joked as he quickly turned to you, kissing you softly before he looked back at the road. 

"That you are." He breathed out as he continued driving. The bike had been traded for the old beat-up truck Yoongi had gotten from an elderly man in Daegu when you were there. Another way to lose any traces of you if Tatsu had any of them. The truth was neither of you knew if anyone was watching you or following you but it was fun being on the run. Just the two of you in the whole world. Moving at night so it felt like you were alone and had the world to yourselves. Your days in the motel rooms were spent playing board games, card games, watching tv or just spending one on one time with one another. The two of you had developed a growing relationship with one another. There was no one else you wanted other than Yoongi. 

"Hey," You whispered as you pulled up to a red light. He glanced at you and you took his chin into your finger and thumb. Kissing him sweetly before pulling away when the light was green. 

"Drive," You giggled looking out of the window at everything that was passing you. Everything looked so much prettier at night. You didn't know or want to know what life had in store for you, all you cared about was having Yoongi with you throughout it all. The two of you against the world. 

Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @rjsmochii​ @taestannie​ @sw33tnight​ @sweeneyblue1​ @jin-from-the-block​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​ @min-yus​ 

[octania]

Benimaru Shinmon x Reader ( NSFW, 18+)

Word count: 3.8 k

Warnings: NSFW,smut,oral sex,sexual teasing, orgasm prohibition

Short description: You were in love with this man for over a year, but your bratty mouth an denial of your feelings got you in a situation where Benimaru will teach you how to behave in very teasing and heated way....

________________________________________________________

The air was filled with the scent of a variety of traditional dishes and enriched by the happy shouts of excited residents through the streets. This time, the festival did not mean destruction, this time it was celebrated by making delicious dishes and socializing with each other. The celebration itself began at dawn, when they brought out their wooden tables and portable stoves, beginning to enrich the street with enticing scents of a variety of spices and ingredients. You could also hear the gentle sound of kota, whose strings were gently touched by the pale hands of young talented musicians. While these were all just preparations for the big ceremony that would start when sun kisses the mountains, everyone shared their joy throughout the day. His dark hair fluttered in the morning breeze around his narrowed eyebrows. Ruby eyes barely opened as he passed like a shadow past people. Although it was not visible on the expression on his face, he secretly enjoyed the liveliness that spread through the streets of his hometown. Countless greetings lined up behind him, giving him words of praise and support to which he only nodded a few times, nothing more, and continued his walk. The silence of his thoughts was broken by a hoarse female voice. Although it was rough, it sounded kind of gentle. He soon discovered to whom it belonged, when a plump old woman with black hair streaked with gray strands stepped in front of the captain. Her wrinkled face wearing a smiled from ear to ear, her eyes squinting at the young man.“Benimaru, my boy! I have something for you, please do except my gift in honor to you and the members of your squad.”- she was direct, not talking his ear off, just bowing slightly after her words and handing him a medium sized package. He stared in the thing wrapped in light blue material with a lack of interest that he did not hide not even the slightest. “Tempura and sushi, to hold you till the festival tonight.” – she explained getting back up from the slight bow. After a couple of lazy blinks, he raised his hand and responded. “That is alright, we will wait till the festival.”- without waiting for a response, he passed the woman in attempt to leave, but she was not letting go so easily. Shoving the thing in his hands, she smiled again, not bothered by his behavior.“Nonsense! Twins will love it, and we all know Konro could use a break for cooking today.”- Benimaru sighed, pushing the package slowly back at her, but before he could say anything, a female voice sharp like katana echoed the street. “Obaachan, can you please stop giving food to the people who clearly have no decency to even say thank you? Rudeness should not be rewarded.”- (Y/N) stood at the door of their restaurant, squeezing the sleeves of her kimono. Benimaru didn't say a word, looking at the young girl with the expressionless face. The lack of his reaction only made (Y/N) even angrier as she furiously crossed her arms over her chest. “(Y/N), you watch your mouth! You are addressing our beloved captain, to whom you owe your safety!”- obaachan scolded her, raising her finger as a warning, but that didn't stop (Y/N) from responding with even greater ferocity, targeting Benimaru with a look of utter contempt. “Because he is a captain, he should show more respect to his people and their offerings! Shouldn’t leaders be role models? Poor us if that is the case. People usually pay for the food in our restaurant, and yet he shows no gratitude even when his meal is free!”- she did not waver, her stand proud and determent, not showing even a bit of fear from the man who is the head of this town. “Child, hush! Go back inside right now! Sol help your rude mouth!”- Obaachan started waving her hands, showing (Y/N) to go back inside the house, turning to Benimaru. “I apologize captain Shinmon, (Y/N) did not mean it.”- the elderly woman bowed again, with clear expression of shame smeared around her wrinkled face. Still speechless, Benimaru watched the girl, who was now biting her lower lip in frustration as if it were chewing gum. Eventually, he slung the bundle over his shoulder, turning on his heel. “Thank you for the meal madam (Lastname of your family).” – that was the only thing he said, strolling down the dusty street without turning around again. Even though he wanted to allow his mismatched eyes to gaze upon the fearless woman one more time....

The celebration that had its core in the great hall that belonged to your family, otherwise intended for weddings and large feasts, was already spreading like wildfire. People were raising glasses full of sake, feasting on specialties they had been preparing all day, but they preferred to treat their palates to desserts that belonged to your family restaurant. Young artists danced a traditional dance with fans, attracting curious glances with their gorgeous and colorful kimonos. Outside, the streets were crowded with people, gazing merrily at the early fireworks that ate up the starry sky with their tantalizing shapes. You were in charge of serving the guests who sat on the heated floor of the hall in front of the beautifully carved tables. Countless comments on your beauty and grace have accompanied you in your assignment, while you have given a kind smile to anyone who would praise you. No one has noticed that your eyes jump restlessly from person to person, searching the room in hopes of encountering the phlegmatic face of the man who was the source of your deepest suffering.You were afraid that your sharp tongue had resulted in his absence, that he wouldn't show up for the rest of the evening, maybe not after either. Did you overdo it... or didn't you? He was rude after all! Yes it is true, he is guilty of this! You weren't even aware that your angry thoughts betrayed the state of your mind on your face. You eyebrows narrowed, lips squeezed in a straight line, your body tense, as you rushed towards the kitchen, when a familiar voice addressed you. “(Y/N)! Your family always knew how to make the best celebrations, I congratulate you.”- a tall man with a kind blue eyes  that resembled a calm and mysterious sea, smiled at you, holding the door of the kitchen open for you. “Konro! I..”- you stopped for a second, almost dropping the mountain of dirty dishes you were carrying,  as your eyes finally find the one they’ve been searching for. A smile almost escaped your lips, but you prevented your rooted emotions to show. Behind the tall man, Benimaru was standing, scanning the room full of cheerful people. He did not even look at you once, and you could feel the frustration rising in you again. Who does he think he is? No matter how much you were bothered by his disinterested posture, your eyes wandered over his crossed arms on his chest, the muscle that adorned his forearms reached to the very core of your desire. The hands filled with veins always looked tense and ready to fight, as if  he was waiting to defend the whole world with them, alone. You could no longer resist the sight, you had to run away. Blubbering a couple of thanks to the lieutenant, you ran past his arm into the kitchen, kicking the door with your foot behind you to close them. You took quick steps to the sink and nearly broke half the porcelain plates when you threw them inside. You grasped the edges of the sink, closing your eyes shut and taking a deep breath. Before you could muster your whirlwind of thoughts, a young woman approached you from the back.“You know, if you were not such a proud and bratty thing, you would be breaking beds now and not dishes.” – (B/F – name of your best friend) mocked your state without restraining one bit. Your nerves were thin, and being called out like this only made you react like a cornered animal.“Shut up, I don’t know what you are talking about (B/F). Seriously, if you worked even the half of the time you spend teasing people, we would actually get something done. “-you snapped at her, pulling out  bamboo boxes filled to the brim with colorful mochis. “Sure, if you had a bite to support all that barking, maybe you would get something done. I think Benimaru would appreciate your teeth on his skin more than your mouth just bullshiting all the time.”- she did not back down,wrapping the strands of hair around her finger, (B/F) continued before you could counter attack.“How long has it been since you started drooling over Waka? A year? Year and a half? Oh my God, when I remember how pissed you were when you though he was dating that girl from company 8th just because she brought some papers a couple of times.”- the more she talked, the more did rage boil in you, so much that  it seemed that steam will start going out of your ears. Her voice only rose as she continued through laughter.“Damn, you made me wait  around corners like crazy people just so we can see if they are a couple or not. And when it finally turned out they were not, I will never forget your jumping in the air from excitement.”- before she could say any more , something gooey and sticky landed right on her forehead. She whined in surprise, as the pieces of mochi started falling down her face.“Anything else you want to add?!Huh?!”- you lifted your hand high, ready to throw another mochi at her.“Maybe if you threw yourself on Benimaru in the same way you are throwing this mochi, you would get some and your nerves would calm down!!”- she screamed before ducking down as your hand catapulted another one at her.  You didn’t even know that your little show didn’t go as private as you thought. The high tones of the people from the main hall were unfortunately not enough to cover your voices, and one curious ear absorbed every word. Benimaru lowered his head, starting to walk away from the kitchen door. Under his raven hair, a grin was hiding.

He sat quietly watching the people around him fiercely try to get his attention. Some were male neighbors praising his fighting skills, their speech interrupted by hiccups from too much sake was almost humorous, while on the other hand a couple of girls discreetly tried to gain his favor, but all they got was a restrained smile. He brought the glass to his lips to take a sip of the bitter liquid, but there were no more inside. Your grandmother, who was actually only a few seats away from him, noticed the lack of refreshment for the beloved captain, and of course, called your name instantly. “(Y/N)! Fill the captain’s cup!”- you kept away from his table. Actually, you targeted those behind him, in order to better avoid a face-to-face encounter. The things (B/F) told you bothered you too much, and you didn't just want to deepen your cravings and quarrel with yourself over the feelings you carry for this man. Hearing your name, Benimaru tilted his head, looking over his strong shoulder with his glowing eyes. That deep gaze made you swallow, barely keeping you composure. You knew if you came any closer you would break, and you will not give him that satisfaction. You lifted you chin up,  pushed back your shoulders, and turned on your heal as the cold answer followed.“He has hands. He can fill it up himself.”- without second thought, you walked away, but you swore you could feel a set of burning eyes following you.

The hallways were empty, all the guests retreated to the main hall. As the night went on, even the workers began to relax, completing their work and joining the rest of the town in celebration. There was no longer a need to bring the food from the kitchen, at least for the time being, the tables were full. (B/F) was the last person leaving the kitchen, as you said you will join her shortly, you just wanted to finish a few things up. Carrying the empty bamboo boxes, you took a turn into the hallway bathed in dim light, crashing with your shoulder into something big and hard. You blinked in shock, barely managing not to drop the boxes on the floor. The thing in front of you was a person, and seeing him made your heart race. Benimaru Shinmon stood there silently, his eyes half opened, shoulders relaxed, while he studied you.  You almost bit your lip, but seeing the man baring that uninterested expression once more, made your blood boil instead. “Excuse me is the words you are looking for! You should watch where you are going.”- you said irritated, trying to go pass him, hiding your flustered face beneath your hair. A feeling of slight pain spread throw your back as it crashed on the wall. It took you a couple of seconds to figure out what was going on, that is, you needed to believe that this was not one of your dreams. Pressed with his hips on your abdomen, Benimaru towered over you. He seemed stronger than usual, more dangerous, but there was not a shred of fear in you, just excitement. “Wh..what are you doing?! Get off!”- funny you should say that, when in reality you didn’t wiggle or struggle at all, your big mouth once again just stood in your way in order to show your true feelings. But Benimaru was no fool. He did not respond on your demands, instead, he tilted his head on the side, like he was checking something, then returned his gaze on you. You could feel the ground disappearing under you. You gasped at the unsettling feeling, trying to grab onto something from pure instinct. But the only thing you managed to grab was the one making you lose the floor under your feet in the first place. Benimaru picked you up by your waist, his forearm adorned with prominent veins wrapped around your waist like a snake, not letting go of his prey. He was fast, pushing the door of the kitchen that was empty and dark, kicking it again as they closed with a loud bang that made you flinch, while he turned the key in the lock. “Benimaru ! What the hell? I said let go!”- in reality, you hated the thought of his hands leaving your body. The feeling that flowed through your veins when you were this close to him, almost took over even your insolence, but the bits that were left now squirted like popcorn from your lips. “You are too huffish, (Y/N).”- his voice smooth like honey, but a bit dark. The sudden feeling of falling down made a muffled whine to escape your mouth, but you did not hit the ground. He held you in his lap while he sat down on a kitchen table. Your permanent denial tried to strike for the last time, making you turn around furiously, facing the man who dared to pick you up like a helpless and fragile thing. But the sharpness of your words did not come down from your lips, when sweetness filled your taste buds. The warm flesh of his lips now merged with yours. The bitter taste of the sake he drank from didn't bother you, because for you he tasted like cupid's wine, intoxicating you, maddening your thoughts and driving your senses wild. You felt dizzy from the heat that rushed into your cheeks when he first ran his tongue over yours, caressing its soft surface with his tender muscle. You tried to get some air in your lungs but you didn't know how to breathe, you were so enchanted by his kisses. You almost swore in displeasure when he pulled his lips away from yours.“If you just did this, we would be able to skip the punishment.”- confused, you did not even manage to answer his statement when his hands that were resting on your waist till now, pulled you down and flipped you across his lap. Your knees landed on the wooden surface of the table, as you kept your balance on your elbows in the front. “What…what are you doing?”- you asked with a shaky voice, seeing how his hand hold you by the material of you kimono on your lower back, keeping you steady. “I declined the home made meal from your obaachan today because I knew we already had a meal prepared for the day.”- he said sliding his rough palm of his free hand across your spine, down to the your lower back, all the way to your peachy ass. You bit you lip, shivering when his touch did not stop, traveling down your thigh, then taking a handful of fabric of your kimono.“Taking more would mean throwing it away because it would not be eaten. And that would be disrespectful.”- he jerked your kimono abruptly, exposing your entire lower body. Your perfectly shaped ass made him discreetly lick his lips, while you covered your face with your palms in shame. “I-I…I didn’t k..know that ..”- you tried to explain yourself, but in vain, as his voice  responded harshly, accompanied with his finger movement, slipping under the side of your panties. You whined loudly as his index finger brushed along your folds.“You did not bother to ask. But fortunately as you said earlier, I do have my hands. And with my hands I plan to teach you how to behave.”- the sound of tearing fabric filled the kitchen. You bit your hand when you felt the exhaled air from his mouth pass over your naked cunt. He was so close that he could feel the heat coming from it, barely restraining himself from biting into that cookie. You stirred a little, the discomfort ate at you up, the feeling of arousal overcame you.“Don’t look there….Benimaru, please I-….”

“You know how to say please already? Well, I wonder what it will take to teach you to say sorry.”- his fingertips crossed over your silky pussy lips, gently caressing the rosy flesh. You whimpered at the slow pace of his movements. He didn't remove his head, he calmly watched the wet glow slowly appear on those folds. He pushed his finger closer to the opening, collecting some sticky liquid with his fingertip. He didn't push his finger inside, but continued to draw a line along your slit. “Oh my Sol!”- you cried out, squirming already, but that did not even make him flinch. He pushed his digit a bit harder, make it sink into the sensitive flesh, brushing over it all so gently. “Sol will not help you (Y/N), but some manners might. Luckily again, as you said, captain should be a role model, showing the people the art of good manners.”- his thumb slipped across your clit, making the rough skin stimulate it so greatly it made your icing flow more intensely. You yearned for him to do it again, but you were out of luck. This was not supposed to be something to reward you with, this was a straight up lesson to teach you what will happen when your bratty mouth bump into an opponent like Benimaru. He settled his thumb above your throbbing nerve bud, adding another finger to the game. His index and middle finger pulled your pussy lips slowly, massaging them between them. The sensation you were feeling made you feel dizzy. The overwhelming pleasure that arose in you now got your legs shaking without stopping. The feeling was unbearable, because he touched all the sensitive places but leaving the critical ones empty and eager. This teasing was so arousing your juices now strained down your thigh. The crystal like liquid did not go unnoticed by Benimaru, as a grin appeared on his face. Without a second though, he lowered his head, sticking his tongue out and pressing it on your plushy thighs, collecting the juices in long strokes. “Beni!!”- you moaned like a whore, voice filled with begging desire and maddening need, but he did not plan to be interrupted. He slid his hand under you, finding your mouth and sticking the fingers coated in your icing in it.“Clean this up, while I clean you down here.”- he lifted his hand a bit to make you close your mouth around his fingers, pumping them in and out to insure you will do the job well. You sobbed in a low voice as you sucked on your own cum, barely concentrating on his order when the feeling of him patiently licking off the wetness along your thighs and getting closer to your cunt made you almost faint. His soft muscle finally found its way to the grand prize, as he brushed it on your folds and around your entrance in circular motions. You could not take it, you started to push your ass back, trying to make him stick his tongue in, touch your clit, anything to give you the sweet release you so desperately needed. But he will not grant you that. He pressed his mouth right on your heated hole, and started sucking, gathering the last of your juices. You body was on the edge, you could feel your heart skipping a beat, lungs barely catching air and muscles tensing, begging for that much needed release, but the only thing you got was a tender kiss on your clit, before he pulled his fingers out of your mouth, and lifting you off of him. He placed you in the sitting position, spreading your legs so your cunt was fully exposed to him once more. Your own wetness was smeared around your lips. You lowered your gaze, seeing something that made your mouth drop open. On Benimaru’s loose pants, there were more than clear outlines of his thick dick. You never saw something like that before, stretching the fabric mercilessly. He was not big, he was huge, and you wanted every damn inch buried inside of you. But you again forgot that this was not your lucky day….“You can only watch as I get the release that you are forbidden to reach tonight.” he slid his hand under his pants, giving his length a couple of experimental pumps before exposing the beast to you.“If you will behave, next time I will reward you, this time you will only swallow your bratty words…and my cum.”- he started slowly jerking it off, gazing at your plumb lips where his load will end.

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[violet-knox]

Opportunities

Year 7 - Chapter 70

Summary: You're anxious for your last Quidditch game, worried about your future and your relationship with Severus

Word count: 1710

Previous Chapter - Chapter 1

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You looked so stressed. Even from the stands he could tell you were worried about the outcome of the Quidditch finals. You’d spent the last two weeks training every single day, he barely had a second to say hello. He didn’t blame you though. He knew how important this game was to you, how badly you needed to win, and he supported you. The game had kept the crowd on their toes, likely the most anticipated match in the history of Hogwarts Quidditch. He hadn’t realized how good Hufflepuff had gotten, challenging your skill and leadership on a level he didn’t think was possible. His heartbeat furiously as the score flipped between favouring either team, nearly everyone watching it carefully as they waited for the snitch to be caught. All the action was with the chasers, but everyone’s attention was on the seekers. Even Severus couldn’t help but watch Potter and wonder if he was going to let you down today or make himself useful for once.

This game had gone on for far too long, and the longer it went on, the more stressed you became. Severus could see Potter’s failure seep into you as frustration, but it didn’t surprise him. Of course Potter was someone who couldn’t be trusted, and he tried telling you not to depend on him, but you had to insist he was the best seeker you had. It didn’t matter now, you were both graduating and with any luck, you’d never see Potter again after this game.

The crowd roared as the snitch was finally caught, every player pausing in anticipation for the reveal of which team won. Severus hated himself for hoping it was Potter who’d prevailed, but he didn’t care. He just wanted you to win, to have that final victory to look back on. Gryffindor cheered and he watched as your team landed, ambushing Potter with smiles on your faces. You looked so relieved, so happy and he wanted to be happy for you, but he felt jealous it wasn’t him you were hugging. With everything that has been going on with your relationship, he really needed to find a way to show you how much he truly cared about you.

The stands began to clear out as the teams made their way to the changing rooms, but Severus felt frozen in place. He let everyone leave him behind as he sat there in the growing silence and clear skies. He looked up at the clouds and began to imagine what his life would be like if he hadn’t been sorted into Slytherin, if Malfoy had left him alone in his first year. He could never imagine a life without you, but sometimes he wondered how much easier his life would be if he hadn’t got a taste of both sides, if his life had followed one simple path instead of two. Was it silly to ask such questions? Perhaps it was and perhaps what he should be wondering about is what path he will find himself on after graduation. There were so many things up in the air, so many unknowns and dangers but he knew whatever came his way he’d manage it so long as he had you.

He stood up and began to make his way out of the stadium. The crowd had dispersed into groups, some celebrating, some simply chatting. He could see your team cheering and shouting with a large group of Gryffindors as Potter held the snitch high in the air for all to see. Lily was next to him, smiling like her world was flawless. Lupin, Black and Pettigrew all joining in with the fun as if they had anything to do with Gryffindor’s victory. Severus couldn’t take another step. He couldn’t see you and the thought of trying to mingle with those buffoons made him want to run in the opposite direction and never look back.

Unable to stand another second of his past mocking him, he turned around, scanning the rest of the crowd, his eyes finally landing on you. He stared at you as you spoke with Connor, smiling from ear to ear. Just a few weeks ago, he would have been accepted with open arms if he walked over there, but he felt like an outsider, like he wasn’t welcome to join his girlfriend in celebrating one of the happiest moments of her life.

Your eyes met his and he could see your face drop even from this distance. His shoulders dropped as he considered just walking away. You didn’t need him, you never did. It was him who gained from your relationship, it just took him a while to realize that. You waved goodbye to Connor and began walking towards him, his legs instinctively pushing him to meet you halfway.

“Where’ve you been?” As he got closer to you, he could see just how happy you were, like all that stress had evaporated. You were practically jumping with joy, unable to contain your glee as you walked closer to him. “I was hoping to see you outside the changing room.”

“Sorry.” His voice caught in his throat. He’d been silent all day, the only other words spoken from his lips were ‘good luck’ when he saw you before the game. He clapped for you of course, but he couldn’t find it in him to cheer, not when everyone else around him had much more energy than him. Still, that didn’t mean he couldn't’ support you in his own way. “But maybe I can make it up to you?”

“Oh?” You bit your lip as you took his hands in yours, smiling up at him. Finally, you felt like some of the stress that had been weighing you down ease off your shoulders. Between Quidditch, N.E.W.Ts and all the drama with Severus and Connor, you weren’t sure if you’d be able to make it through to the end of the school year. But here you were, Quidditch champion, your grades were up and you’d managed to maintain your relationships with Connor and Severus. Connor would never likely speak to Severus again, but you didn’t expect to win all your battles this week. For now, you just had to focus on your relationship with Severus.

He’d been so distant these past two weeks. A part of you blamed yourself, your Quidditch schedule completely unaccommodating. But he usually always sat in on your practices if he didn’t have class, yet he’d completely disappeared from them over the last few days. He’d barely said two words to you before your game today, and even now, he looked as if he’d gotten no sleep for a week. You squeezed his hands and stepped as close to him as you could, trying to read his mysterious, dark eyes.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered with a touch of guilt in his voice. Your smile began to fade as you realized just how much work you had to mend your relationship with him. This time apart had not done him well, leaving things up in the air after the incident with Connor like that had clearly impacted him more than you’d realized. You lunged at him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and squeezing him in a tight embrace, hoping to remind him of just how much you cared about him.

“Ms. (Y/L/N)?” You tore yourself from Severus and looked to your side to find a man you’d never seen kindly smiling at you. You stepped back from your interrupted hug and turned towards the man.

“Yes?”

“My name is Odie Elks. I’m a recruiter for The English National Quidditch team.” It took everything you had to keep yourself composed. A recruiter was speaking with you, and not just any recruiter, a recruiter for The English National Quidditch team! “I’ve been told you lead the Gryffindor team to victory, and I must say, I’m impressed by your skill, both as a chaser and a Captain.”

The recruiter had given you a compliment, speaking to you like he was interested in you, and you couldn’t believe this was happening right now. You looked up at Severus just to make sure he could see this man too and sure enough, he wore a happy smirk on his face, his eyes landing on the recruiter.

“Th-thank you!”

“Have you considered playing Quidditch professionally?”

“I-I’ve given it some thought, yes.” You could barely find your words, your eyes wide as your heart pounded with the potential opportunity that had appeared before you. The recruiter opens his jacket and slips a hand in his pocket, taking out a small card and handed it to you.

“Well, perhaps you may consider joining us if that’s the path you decide to take.”

“Thank you! I will!”

“We’ll be in touch.” The recruiter nodded his head and began making his way towards the castle. You bit your tongue, waiting for him to get out of earshot before your internal scream leaked as a squeal. You jumped up and down, your excitement escaping your body, Severus smiling at your glee.

“(Y/N)! That’s amazing! I told you you had the talent!” Severus felt so happy for you, sharing in your excitement and incredible achievement. You inspired him so much with everything you did. Your kindness, your dedication, everything about you made him want to be better, to do better.

“Sev,” you ambushed him, nearly making him fall over as you tossed your arms back around him. “I can’t believe I hold in my hand the card from a recruiter of The English National Quidditch Team. This can’t be real. I’m dreaming!”

Severus smiled, giving you a quick kiss atop your head. “You deserve every bit of this, congratulations (Y/N).”

You smiled, pressing Severus to you as you let out a sigh of contempt. Everything seemed to be falling into place. Things were looking up for life after graduation and Severus’ mood had already begun to lift. This was only the beginning of course. You still had so much work to do. N.E.W.Ts were fast approaching and you couldn’t let anything else eat away at your relationship with Severus any longer. No more excuses, you were going to spend time with your boyfriend and iron out your relationship.

~

Next Chapter

~

[theimpossiblehologramtree]

Making Queen members flower crowns would include

Pairing: Queen members x reader

Word count: (altogether) 1800+

Warnings: some sickening fluff, oh and swearing but that’s a standard, some slightly suggestive themes in john’s (implied sex) but nothing accually happens except a kiss

A/N: Hello you beautiful people! I’m back (don’t get used to that tho lol) I thought of this two years ago when i first saw Bohemian Rhapsody (SO 2 FUCKING YEARS AGO). Freddie’s is gender neutral. I tried to add a “keep reading” button but I’m not sure it works tbh because this hell of a side never cooperates.

Please keep in mind that English is not my first language.

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Brian May

You were laying on Brian's lap, the sun hitting your face pleasantly. This week the weather was nice and warm, which was something extremely unusual in England, so the two of you decided to head out to the country and have a little picnic.

After what felt like hours spent in the car ("Brian, for Christ's sake, would you open the bloody window, I can't breathe!" and "Bri, I love you, but if we don't get there in five minutes, I'm going to murder you, I swear") you finally found a nice clearing, where you could relax and forget about the stresses of city life.

Brian put down a blanket on the grass, near a small stream that flew through the forest. He brought the bag with food and drinks (you didn't have a basket, so you had to improvise). 

You quickly put some sunscreen on your face and laid down, keeping your head propped on Brian's lap. He put a hat over his face and fell asleep, his chest rising steadily. 

After some time (that fucking wasp didn't let you sit in one place), you stood up and noticed many beautiful flowers, growing on a nearby bush. You got lost in picking up the most beautiful ones, admiring each one carefully. When you got enough, you sat back down and started tying the stems together.

Suddenly you got an idea. Careful not to wake him up, you began sticking the flowers in Brian's dark curls. 

Your now decorated boyfriend woke up and stretched, not noticing the colourful addition to his hair. This made you chuckle softly, but you decided to see how long it would take him to realize.

+"What is it, babe? Do I have something on my face?"

"No, Bri, I just remembered a funny joke, that's all."

"Oh tell me, then."

"What’s the difference between a lawnmower and an electric guitar?"

"Hm?"

"You can tune a lawnmower!"

You both enjoyed the rest of the day swimming in the stream, sunbathing and eating the snack you brought. And Brian somehow still didn't notice.

Until it was time for you to get home.

You got in the car ("Open the window now, it's like in the oven in here!") and Brian looked into the rear-view mirror.

+"Hey, (Y/N), what the fuck is that? I love it."

Roger Taylor

So honestly it would probably happen during one of his concerts.

You were backstage watching the show, enjoying every second of it. Freddie was in the middle of shouting some (very inappropriate) compliments to Brian's ass, slapping his buttcheeks. The crowd immediately went wild hundreds of fans screamed in unison. You chuckled under your breath, flashing a white smile at your beloved boyfriend Roger and his bandmates. You felt an arm wrap around your shoulders. Surprised, you turned around, your eyes meeting Mary's.

+"What's up, kiddo?" she smirked and patted your back.

"Oh, nothing much. Just Freddie being Freddie," you replied, making both of you erupt with laughter.

Suddenly you felt a familiar feeling form in the pit of your stomach. Out of nowhere, your hands became shaky, your breath shallow and quick. Feeling like you need some fresh air, you excused yourself.

+"Are you sure you're okay, (Y/N)?" Mary watched you carefully, her hand supporting you in case you fainted.

"Yes, Mary, I just need some fresh air. I'm extremely tired, and I haven't eaten anything since this morning" you reassured your friend. "I'm just gonna sit outside for a while."

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked, still not convinced about your well-being.

"Yes, I wouldn't want to spoil the gig for you. I'll be back before you know it" you squeezed her hand and, after promising her to be careful, you headed outside.

You took a walk alongside the small patch of lawn beside the exit. After taking a couple of deep breaths, you noticed some daisies grow in the green grass. Without thinking much, you sat down and started picking them up and tying their stems together.

Your fingers worked quickly, making a beautiful flower crown, mindlessly.

Meanwhile, on stage, the boys were singing She makes me - a song that reminded Roger of you. He quickly glanced to his right, expecting to see your beautiful figure standing with Mary. But, much to his surprise, he couldn't see you anywhere. It was no secret that his eyesight was shit but, bloody hell, it wasn't that bad. His blue eyes were searching for you, frantically.

When the song ended, he quickly motioned to Freddie to take a quick break, while he went to check up on you. He practically sprinted to Mary, almost knocking down his drumkit and John.

+"You dumb fuck, watch where you're going, Rog!"

Usually, Roger would reply with some snarky comment, but at that moment he really didn't care. When he reached Mary, he didn't even need to ask her about you. 

+"She's outside. Needed some fresh air" the girl shooked her head towards the exit. 

Roger quickly walked outside, knowing that he couldn't stall the audience for too long. But at the same time, he must have made sure you were all right.  

He got out of the building and searched for you. He spotted to sitting on a small patch of grass, holding a pretty flower crown in your hands. His heart ached at this sight. 

+"Hello, love" he whispered, kneeling next to you. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, I am, Rog" you kissed his cheek. "I just felt a bit off, that's all." 

You felt your boyfriend press a kiss to your hair. You smiled at the feeling, leaning into his touch. 

You finally placed the finished flower crown on his head, brushing away loose strands of sweaty hair from his face, your hand gently brushing his temple. He took your tiny hands in his and kissed your fingers.

+"Do you wanna go back in there, sweetheart?" he asked sweetly, looking deeply into your eyes.

You nodded and pecked his lips, "Of course, Rog, I wouldn't want to miss any more of your show."

He smiled and lead you inside, placing his hand on the small of your back. You returned to Mary and wished your boyfriend good luck. 

Roger kept the flowers on his head throughout the whole gig, sending you a dashing smile and winking at you every now and again.

I just think Roger would look sososo pretty in a flower crown.

John Deacon

It was a lovely afternoon in London. You and your fiancé John decided to take a walk after the whole day in the studio, recording songs.

Taking a walk in a nearby park was a great way to destress and release the tension accumulated during the day. It was something John realized pretty early on in your relationship and took full advantage of it. He loved wandering along the pebbled pathways that swirled around beautiful trees and bushes full of colourful flowers. Being in the presence of nature made him feel at ease and helped him relax.

But the real reason why he enjoyed your walks so much was you. He adored seeing your face light up with joy when you saw a squirrel run up a branch of an old oak or when you spotted a particularly beautiful fish in the small pond. He could watch you pick up fallen leaves for ages and hear you talk to little kids in a playground, showing them the shiny rocks you collected along the way.

To be honest, he always dreamt about starting a family with you and seeing you get along with kids so well only increased that desire.

Often after a walk, he was in the mood™, which, considering his shy nature, always took you by surprise.

Oh man, he just loved taking a walk in the park.

And today was no different.

You were walking hand in hand, admiring the blossoming flowers. Occasionally, you would stop and pick them up, making a small bouquet in the process. White daisies, pink clovers and blue forget-me-nots accumulated with every step you took.

John was telling you about the new idea he had for a song, kissing your cheek every now and again.

Listening to him, you started to fiddle with the flowers, tying them in knots. After a while ("And then, I think, we could include a gong, you know?") you were done with your creation.

You put the flowers on John's head and kissed his temple.

+"What's that, darling?" he asked you, surprised.

"Nothing, but I think you look sensational, my love" you replied, smiling innocently.

You felt John's hand bring you closer to him. He kissed you, entangling his long and incredibly skilled fingers in your hair. The kiss soon turned into more heated one.

+"I'll show you how sensational I really am, pretty girl."

Freddie Mercury

So with Freddie, it was probably at one of his parties.

He invited you along to have a drink with him and his bandmates.

You usually weren't the one for big and loud parties, but he kept asking you and you gave in.

+"Oh okay, Fred, I'll do it," you said after the twentieth time he had asked you.

"Fantastic, (Y/N)!" he exclaimed, loudly clapping his hands. "Just remember to wear a costume."

But you didn't really want to dress up in fancy dresses or costumes from different eras. Calling Mary, you asked her for advice and she told you to just wear some accessories.

So before the party, you went to a small flower shop and bought a small bouquet of purple lilacs. At home, you made a flower crown, hoping that dressing up as a nymph would be enough.

When you got to Freddie's house, you were greeted by a crowd of people in colourful skirts and suits with fashionable patterns. That's when you found Freddie, Roger, Brian and John, chilling on a couch with their dates.

+"Oh, (Y/N), you look marvellous, darling!" exclaimed Freddie dressed as a king, while he stood up to embrace you in a warm hug.

"Thank you, Fred, I made it myself" you smiled shyly.

You got some champagne and joined the conversation.

Suddenly, you felt a pat on your shoulder, and, when you turned around, you saw Freddie holding out a hand to you, asking you to dance with him. You gladly accepted and got up. 

+"I really meant it, darling. You do look marvellous tonight" he whispered in your ear.

"Thank you, Freddie, you can have it if you'd like" you sent him a warm smile.

You took off his golden crown and set it aside. Gently taking off the flower crown from your head, you placed it on top of Fred's. He beamed at you and put his own crown on top of your head.

+"Now you rule here, darling."

taglist

[volleychumps]

To Love a Libero (Nishinoya Yu x Reader)

“Maaaan, this sucks.”

“Nishinoya-senpai?” Hinata blinks at his senior, wondering just why the star libero of the Karasuno volleyball team was laying down on the floor with his knees tucked into his chest, his expression screaming of depression. 

“I want a girlfriend!” Nishinoya whines as the rest of the team sweat drops as he hits the floor with balled fists like a child. Bokuto, seeing the commotion, comes over and puts a hand seriously on his shoulder before kneeling down to meet him at eye-level. 

“Are you lost? Do you need me to find your mom?”

As the teams among the camp stifle their laughter into their fists, Nishinoya gains an irk mark at the teasing Ace of Fukurodani as said man keels over in laughter. 

“T-The girls are coming! That’ll lift your spirits, Nishinoya-senpai!” Yamauchi exclaims as the libero helps himself to his feet, glaring daggers at his still giggling teammates. “Let’s watch them play a set, ne?”

As the boys all return to the stands to watch the girls compete, Nishinoya looks among them with a bored stare. Perhaps after being near Kiyoko this whole time, and it for sure would never happen, most girls didn’t hold the same effect on him. Even if they did, none really responded to his advances or showed any interest. 

“Noya-San...” Sugawara puts a hand on his shoulder, giving him a nervous grin. “I can see your depression cloud getting bigger.”

“Hah? No way, I don’t need a girlfriend. Volleyball is life! Right, Hinata?”

“Senpai...you’re too cool!” His orange-haired kouhai flashes him two large thumbs up as Nishinoya laughs, a little too loudly. The two opposing teams from Fukurodani and Nekoma make their way onto the courts with no problem. 

“Whoa...who is that?” Tanaka’s eyes widen a little.

“She goes to Fukurodani. She’s the libero for the girls’ team.” Akaashi replies evenly as Bokuto sniffs. “She’s also rejected Bokuto-san on numerous occasions.”

“She’s just blind to how awesome I am. It’s fine.”

You make your way onto the court with a small smile, blushing as the more louder boys on the Fukurodani team begin to cheer your name specifically, tugging your hair back into a braid as your team prepares for the practice match. 

“Hm. She’s pretty short.” Daichi notes as Tanaka cackles, clapping Noya on the back. 

“Probably shorter than Noya!” 

Nishinoya didn’t reply as his eyes locked on your figure, his heart gaining an almost too steady rythym as you get into position. 

Damn were you pretty. 

That wasn’t what took him off guard though. 

You deflected the balls the opposing team hit to the floor as if it were nothing, jumping up to do a cute little cheer every time you succeeded. You smiled at your teammates lovingly through the familial bond you shared with them. 

“Noya...you’re staring.” Asahi grins down at his friend as Nishinoya feels the heat rise to his cheeks. 

“W-whatever!” 

Nishinoya looks back to your figure to see the end of the match had commenced, Fukurodani beating Nekoma with a gap of six points. His eyes locked with yours as your friend on the team was whispering something in your ear, a slight blush forming on your cheeks as you look away quickly.

“Uh oh, looks like she caught you!” Tanaka cackles even louder as Nishinoya sinks back in his seat, feeling embarrassed.

“She just plays really good...that’s all.”

-- 

“(Y/N)-chan! I saved you a seat!” 

“No, thanks.” You reply flatly to Bokuto as the ace sinks down in his seat, sighing dejectedly as Akaashi coughs into his fist to hide his laughter.

It wasn’t like you had anything personal against Bokuto...it was just the fact you would rather reject him outright instead of stringing him along with false hope. You didn’t like him the same way he did you, that’s all it was.

Plus, you could never tell if he was serious or not. 

You had walked into the cafeteria in the standard white shirt and dark shorts, blanching as your team waved you over to their already over-crowded table. You shake your head no with a small smile, motioning that you would find somewhere else to sit. 

In a flash, the table to your right’s members all seemed to scatter at the same time, some dragging others as you amusedly watch a dark haired boy drag along the orange, spunky looking kid, telling him to take a hint as one lone person remains at the table. 

Unsurprised, you plop your tray in front of the boy who was staring at you throughout your match, silently giving approval to the amount of effort his teammates had given to lead to this situation as they stuff themselves into bordering tables. 

“E-eh? Where did everyone go?” The boy across from you had unique hair, you noted silently as you giggle at the fact that he was too engrossed in his food to notice the situation his teammates had left him in. When he sees you taking apart your chopsticks, you swear you can practically see the smoke puff up from his head. 

“You’re Nishinoya-san, right? I heard you have a pretty good title for yourself back in Miyagi.” You make conversation, smiling warmly at the now nervous boy in front of you. 

“Y-yeah...um! You played really well today! You’re defense tactics are super good!” 

This startles you. You knew for a fact that Bokuto and the boys on the Fukurodani team liked you primarily for your appearance, but not once had any of them complimented your playing style. 

“Mm. Thank you.” You shyly put your chopsticks in your mouth, a blush forming on your features at the foreign feeling.

From another table, Akaashi holds a hyperactive Bokuto in place, who was practically fuming. “What the hell is that atmosphere?!” 

“Bokuto-san. Please eat your food. And be quiet.”

The members of Fukurodani chuckle to themselves as Bokuto sits down immediately, almost like a pet. 

“T-then! I’ll see you tomorrow, (Y/N)...chan?” 

“Tomorrow it is, Noya-san.” You reply happily, smiling at the fact that he said the honorific with much hesitation. 

You watch him dart away, smiling to yourself until you suddenly notice that he had put his dessert on your tray, making you blush slightly as you unwrap the pudding. 

-- 

The rest of the camp went by in a breeze, and you happily met for dinner every night to eat with Nishinoya as you two formed a more comfortable friendship with one another, Noya giving you the cheesiest pick-up lines to ever exist as you laughed so hard your stomach hurt. 

Naturally, both of your teams teased you relentlessly, and when you two were together during practice breaks, it was obvious to anyone that Nishinoya had fallen for you. Hard.

The real question was, how did you feel about him? 

--

“The last day of training camp is tomorrow.”

“Mm.”

“I go back to Miyagi in one day.” 

“Mm.” 

You both laid in the soft grass past curfew, Nishinoya successfully sneaking you out of the girls’ dorms with ease and a signal to be quiet pressed to his playful grin. 

“Don’t worry! You can take me sight-seeing when we meet at Nationals.” 

“Noya-”

“I’m like, not sad at all to go. Not at all.” 

“Nishi-”

“Why would you even say something like that? Me? Sad? HAH!”

“Yuu!” You had sat up and pressed a hand to his blabbering mouth, watching as his eyes slowly become more saddened. Without hesitation, you pressed your lips against the hand that covered his mouth, leaving the unsuspecting boy in shock before pulling back.

“Just...hold me for awhile, okay?” You lay against his chest, listening to his thumping heart beat. “You might not be sad, but I am.” You look up from your position laying down on him, tracing patterns into his shirt. “Anybody would be sad to see the person they like leave.” 

“You...like me?”

“Yes, dummy.” 

Without a second beat of silence, Noya carefully lifts you off of him before hurling himself to his feet, punching the air excitedly. 

“You like me!” 

You’re laughing now, shushing him to be quiet until he kneels down before you, tilting your chin to meet his lips as he kisses you passionately. Your head spins as you feel something cold and metal being rested against the skin on your neck.

“This is a brand.” He says softly when he pulls away, admiring the glint of the necklace in the moonlight. “You’re mine, (Y/N).”

“This is why you disappeared that one practice?” You laugh, touching the chain around your neck. He nods, his eyes looking more confident than you had ever seen them before he reaches out to hold a strand of your hair, kissing it. 

“Please let me cherish you.”

“I would be honored, Yu.”

He tackles you into the soft grass, afterwards, joy lit up in both of your hearts simutaneously as you hug him tightly back.

--

“Hah? What kind of libero love shit is this?” Tsukishima blinks in surprise as Yamaguchi swats his arm. The day Karasuno had to take its’ leave back to Miyagi arrived, and you and your newly minted boyfriend had broken the news rather sheepishly.

“NOYA!” Tanaka and Asahi lean on each other for support, tears in their eyes. “W-We’re so happy!” 

“S-Senpai!” Kageyama holds a running Hinata by the collar, sighing about how he was surrounded by idiots.

“Weren’t you just saying you didn’t need-?” Daichi’s hand covers Suga’s mouth without hesitation, grinning at his Libero who wasn’t letting anybody ruin his over-the-moon feeling. 

“Be careful, shorty-kun.” Bokuto mentions, slinging an arm around your shoulder as you naturally swat it off. “If you don’t make it to nationals, I’m gonna steal (Y/N) away.” 

Noya’s eyes glint at the challenge before pulling on your wrist to make you fall into his chest, looking fearlessly into Bokuto’s smirk. 

“I’d like to see you try.” 

When all goodbyes are said, the Karasuno team leaves you and Noya outside the bus, your eyes welling up with tears as the realization of the dreaded day settled in. 

“Hey. None of that.” You laugh through your tears as Noya swipes them away, grinning down at you. “I’ll call every night, and I’ll be back before you know it.” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise. And you won’t go to Bokuto-san because you’re lonely and I’m not there to fill the empty void in your heart, right?”

“Ah. That one’s hard to promise.” You say flatly, sarcasm dripping from your tone before Noya tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, gazing at you as if he was trying to commit your face to memory.

“Don’t miss me too much, now.” With that, his mouth captures yours in a loving kiss before he pulls away, climbing his bus without looking back. You laugh a little at his over-dramatic crying form in the window as Suga gives you a thumbs-up, signaling his teammates were gonna take care of him. 

You give him a small wave as the bus pulls out of the parking lot, reaching up to grip the chain around your neck.

“See you soon.” 

[markosmate]

baby blues

pairing: paul x reader

summary: reader meets the boys for the first time, and they only truly take a liking to her because of how sharply paul’s interest spikes when he first lays eyes on her. 

warnings: none

au: first lost boys fic kinda scared ngl :(

as much as you wanted to call santa carla your home, nowhere has ever felt like home to you. you wanted nothing more than to find somewhere - or someone - who could make you finally want to stay. yet for some reason you had always had an overwhelming urge to keep moving and always travel, hopefully one day finding the place that had been screaming your name for years.

you weren’t going to lie, santa carla had a homey feel to it - as homey as a murder capital could get - and you were hoping this would be the place. it’s been a year since you left home in new york on your motorcycle, traveling across the united states and stopping momentarily in every place you passed through. however, nowhere truly called to you and in the end, you just kept moving. driving into santa carla was a show on its own. as soon as you made it into town, you were welcomed by a beautiful boardwalk with an amazing variety of rides, shops, and food joints. sure, some of the people walking around didn’t look the friendliest - but who would willingly put themselves out there in a place where the vulnerable are never heard from again.

it was already dark out by the time you arrived, so you wasted no time and almost immediately parked your bike in the boardwalk parking lot among the other cars and walking back in the direction of the boardwalk. tonight would most likely be yet another night spent alone in a dirty hotel room, and even if you decided to stay the only thing your savings would let you afford for now would be a small shaky apartment somewhere deeper in town.

you’d need to find somewhere soon before you ran out of money, a job would help with that if you could ever find a place that you could stay in long enough to actually get hired somewhere.

refusing to dwell on how desperate you are to find a home, you grinned as you practically pranced around the long strip of games and small shops. weaving your way in and out of people you eventually made your way into the closest - and least occupied store - a video shop. a man was standing at the main counter with a large white dog laying at his feet. "hello young lady!" he greeted with a large grin tugging at his lips. "you look in need of a shopping spree. how can we help? we’ve got the best selection of videos and tapes in all of santa carla!" you grinned at his eagerness to sell some of his items and you were always a sucker for appeasing to older folk's wishes.

"just looking for some cassette tapes, got any?" you smiled admiring the large selection of patches adoring the inside of the glass counter top.

"quite a few. they’re over towards the back wall if you wish to browse."

"awesome, thank you." you smiled at him before walking around the entire center of the shop towards the back wall where, indeed, there was shelves of different cassettes.

you skimmed through the rows of them trying to find anything that would suit your taste before ultimately giving up after realizing it wasn’t in your best interest to be spending money in such a care-free way. you made your way back around the shelf and began walking towards the exit at the front of the store when four boys on motorcycles pulled up to the entrance. they all shut off their vehicles and stepped off of them rather quickly, following the platinum blond into the shop in a line. the dog laying on the floor lifted its head and its lips pulled back in a snarl as they made their way further into the building. the man at the front - who you presumed was max - hardened his glare as he watched the four young men waltz through the place.

his attention soon shifted from them however as a couple came in and began asking him questions about what kind of tapes he had in the horror section. your eyes wandered over each boy, taking in their appearances and clothing choices.

the blond at the front looked to be the most layered up. dressed in all black, he carried himself in confidence and had a dark sort of aura surrounding himself. the smallest at the end of the group was leaned over the counter, grinning at the girl working alongside the older man. she shook her head at him with a dismissive grin before turning to continue organizing the jewelry decorating the short stands atop the counter. his colorful jacket was hard to miss and long blond curls fell down his back. the next to follow the platinum was a much more serious looking dude with longer dark hair and dark eyes. he had no shirt on underneath his leather jacket, showcasing a pair of abs that would have made you blush in any other circumstance. however, you were much more focused on the twisted sister fella who was running his fingers along the vinyls lining a shelf. "yo marks, they got a metallica one!"

"no way man, metallica's not on vinyl." curly turned from his position at the counter to cock a hip at the blonde.

"yes huh, come 'ere!" you were too invested in watching the blondes argue over if it was worth it to steal the vinyl to notice the platinum walking over to stand beside you.

"see anything you like?" you jumped and let out a small yelp as you turned quickly to look at him. he was a good foot taller than you and his face was mere inches from your own. you’d be lying if you said he was less intimidating up close than he was farther away.

"h-huh?" you squeaked out stepping a few feet back so you both weren’t so close to each other.

"the cassette collection. have you seen anything you've liked?" he smirked as he placed an unlit cigarette between his lips. you were too nervous to realize that they hadn't even pulled up until after you’d walked away from the cassette shelves.

"oh, no. uh, nothing that sparked my interest." you confirmed giving him a shy smile as you tried to turn and make your way out of the store. you didn’t make it far before you ran straight into someone's chest and fell backwards. whoever it was caught you by your bicep and helped steady you. you looked up to lock eyes with twisted sister and you could practically feel your face turning bright red as he shot you a pretty smile.

"watch out babe, you could run into the wrong people here." he spoke smoothly with a humorous tint to his words.

the curly-headed one laughed at his words. "you’re new around here, huh? we'd remember a pretty face like your own."

you ignored the flirtatious undertones of his comment and just nodded in confirmation. "yeah, just stopping in. i’m y/n." you introduced yourself shyly, not really sure if they wanted an introduction or if they were just messing around with you before taking off into the crowds of the boardwalk. platinum smirked at your words before gesturing for you to follow him out the store. you found yourself listening to his request before you could even really ponder why he needed you outside the store in order to introduce himself.

once you stood with them at the bikes they each stopped to lean against their respective vehicle. you found yourself leaning against the railing as you watched their every move carefully - trying to decipher if they posed a threat or not. "what are your names?"

"david. that’s paul, marko, and dwayne." platinum introduced shortly as he finally lit up the cigarette between his lips. you waved at them and shot each one a smile.

"why don’t you come hang out with us for awhile babe?" marko grinned at you, ignoring paul who slugged his shoulder after.

"oh, uh that’s quite alright. i should probably get going." you lied through your teeth knowing that you’d have to spend at least an hour driving around town for miles to find a hotel willing to rent you out a room at this hour.

"we insist." david grinned with a sinister kind of look in his eyes. "you can ride with paul and we'll go hang out back at our spot overlooking the point."

"oh that’s alright, really." you tried to persuade them. "my bike's in the parking lot, i really should be heading back to my hotel."

"hotel? oh come on babe, if you’re staying in a hotel that means you really have nowhere you need to be. just come hang out for awhile, we promise we don’t bite." paul teased leaning forward over his handlebars a bit. "as for your bike, they don’t tow vehicles left over night. you can come back and get it tomorrow. please?" he pouted at you and you felt yourself slowly weakening at the look in his eyes.

"alright, alright fine! but no alcohol, i’m not getting drunk around a bunch of punks i just met." you gave up and threw your hands in the air.

david nodded and mounted his bike after putting out his cigarette. dwayne copied his actions and they all started their rides. paul smiled brightly at you and held out his hand to help you climb on behind him. "hold on sweets." and just like that, they took off down the walk. after weaving through the crowds for a few seconds they rode down a short flight of stairs causing you to squeak and cling to the blond in front of you a little tighter.

"don’t worry, i have years of experience!" he called over his shoulder to you whilst laughing to himself.

"tell me why i don’t believe that!" you shouted back as they sped down the beach. after a couple of seconds you began to relax a little more as you felt the wind blowing your hair in multiple directions.

you grinned as you lifted your head from his back to feel more of the wind, and let out a small laugh as you loosened your grip the tiniest bit on his waist. he smiled back at you before he joined the others in hooting and hollering in joy. soon you were speeding through the supports of the docks and before you knew it, the boys were swerving left and right down a dense path through the woods.

not even minutes later the boys slowed their bikes to a stop near the bluff. paul stood from his bike before turning to offer you a hand off. they led you down a staircase on the side of the cliffs which ultimately led into a cave.

"woah..." you awed as you spun in circles, taking everything in.

"amazing, isn’t it?" david grinned at your response as he took a seat on an old wheelchair. "this place used to be the hottest resort in santa carla, too bad they built it on a fault. when the big one hit san francisco in '06, this place took a header right into the crack."

"and now it’s ours." marko interrupted his story by dancing around atop the old fountain. "you like?"

you nodded with a small giggle. "it’s amazing! obviously a little dusty," you remarked sliding a finger across a table to collect the layer of dust settled on it. "but beautiful nonetheless."

"you just moved here?" david asked. "looking for a place to stay?"

"oh, no i didn’t move here." you explained quickly. "i’ve just been driving around the states since last july. trying to find somewhere to call home and nowhere's called my name yet."

"except this place." dwayne remarked for the first time that night. "this place is giving you an odd feeling."

"yeah..." you mumbled, furrowing your eyebrows at him. "how'd you tell? that desperate?"

he shook his head with a small smile. "instincts i guess."

"you should stay here." paul suddenly spoke. "with us. with me."

you locked eyes with him and quite literally felt the rest of the world melt away. you’d never seen eyes that color blue, and in that moment you wished it was the only color you could have the pleasure of seeing for the rest of your life. as quickly as you were sucked into the trance, you quickly snapped yourself out of it. "you guys stay here?"

"hell yeah doll. no parents, no rules, just party all day, everyday." he jumped down from the fountain and wrapped both arms around your shoulders from behind. "just look around. you could stay here, young and wild forever." he chuckled at the last comment, and the way he said it almost made it seem like he was making some kind of joke to the others that only you weren’t in on.

"at least think about it sweets." he grinned and kissed your temple as your vision slowly started fading in and out. you watched as the other three stood and began making their way towards you.

"sleep, y/n." david lulled quietly. "there’s plenty time to make a decision when you wake."

you could’ve sworn you had just blinked, but when you opened your eyes again you were laying in a cheap motel room with a feeling sort of like a hangover that you had no explanation for.

[lostbbygorl]

HAPPILY EVER AFTER (LEVI X F!READER):

AU: PRIDE AND PREJUDICE BY JANE AUSTEN

(THIS IS THE FINALE OF THE PXP AU SERIES. THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE YOU GAVE IT. MORE CONTENT IS IN THE PROGRESS)

~~~~~~

Y/N stood in the middle of the garden, absolutely still, as if she were a statue. Unblinking, she stared at the sky. It was nearly morning, and the sun was showing glimpses of itself. Morning fog was thick on that day, and it surrounded Y/N like a persistent crowd. She couldn’t cry anymore. Her head was empty, completely devoid of any thought.

All Y/N could do was relive her argument with Lady Katrina over and over again. The part that broke her the most was when she gave up on fighting the facts anymore, and admitted to Lady Katrina that she wasn’t engaged to Levi Ackerman. She wasn’t engaged to Levi Ackerman, and it had hit her like a truck right in that moment. Would she ever be engaged to him? Forget an engagement, would she ever marry him? Lady Katrina had definitely told him about their dispute from earlier on. There was no way Levi, an evident family man, would pick Y/N over his senior auntie!

Levi collapsed on the grass, sweat drying on his forehead as he panted for air. His onyx head rested against one of his horse’s legs for support. When he finally stood up, his eyes shone with fire and pure determination! He eyed the door of Y/N’s house with hope. He was sure that the family hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep last night after her aunt’s rude arrival. He sharply rapped on the door three times, before Christa opened it, looking him up and down in surprise.

“ Mr. Ackerman?”, she said in a tone which suggested she was convincing herself of his presence at her house, early in the morning, in his nightwear with 2 of his shirt buttons unbuttoned.

“ Hello, Ms. Christa. I apologize sincerely to you and your family for intruding so early in the morning, as well as for my aunt Katrina’s ill manners and treatment of you fine people”, Levi began softly.

“ And to you, Ms. Christa, I apologize for meddling with your relationship with my best friend. I could’ve ruined your happiness forever. But it was I who insisted Erwin reach out to you once again, and I hope you’ll accept my attempt of fixing my mistake”, he finished.

“ Oh, sir, of course I forgive you! Your intentions were understandable and you’ve made amends. But I have a feeling it isn’t me you’ve rushed over to the countryside to see. Is the true motivation behind your being here my sister, Y/N?”, Christa asked, to which Levi nodded.

“ Y/N is in the garden, sir. We tried to move her from her position there, but she wouldn’t budge”, Christa informed.

Levi ran faster than he ever had in his life! The fog was just clearing when he reached, and in the blur, he could make out the figure of a woman standing. Levi’s heart did cartwheels as soon as he saw Y/N standing there, a maroon shawl wrapped around her. For the first time in several hours, Y/N moved. Y/N moved her head to the direction of Levi’s familiar footsteps as soon as she heard him arriving. She gasped when she saw him walking towards her, his night robe flaying in the morning breeze as he walked.

“ Mr. Levi”, she whispered.

“ Ms. Y/N”, he breathed.

“ Mr. Ackerman, as wonderful as it is to see you, I’m afraid this occasion on which we meet isn’t a happy one. I’m sure your aunt has reported to you of our argument, and that you’re here to avenge her honor which I offended. I’m incredibly sorry for my behaviour towards her ladyship, good sir. Please forgive me”, Y/N said bitterly. Levi blanked a few times in confusion, registering her words.

“ What? Oh no, ma’am, I’m not here to demand an apology at all. I’m not here regarding Lady Katrina, I have a more pressing matter to discuss”, Levi corrected.

“ Oh”, Y/N mumbled, not sure what to say. She walked towards him, and cautiously, the man took her hands in his. To his joy, she didn’t shake him off.

“ Mr. Ackerman, your hands are ice”, she remarked.

“ I rode all the way from Shiganshina last night after my auntie returned and complained about her time here. To be honest, I was impressed, just as I was when you first met her and put her in her place”, Levi admitted. Y/N managed a smile.

“ I see. So then what are you here for, Mr. Levi?”Y/N asked.

“ To ask you for a second chance”, he said.

“ If your feelings for me are still what they were last April at Shiganshina, tell me so at once. My feelings towards you won’t change, but if you give me the word, I’ll be on my way back to Utgard, and I shan’t ever bother you again”, Levi promised. Y/N was screaming inside, but not out of anger or sadness this time, it was out of happiness! The moment she had daydreamed about all this time might finally play out in real life!

“ If your feelings have changed, however, I would have to tell you this: I have never met another woman like you, and you have bewitched me completely. I love you”, Levi confessed.

“ I never wish to be parted from you from this day forth”.

“ Well then, why don’t you pop the big question to make things official?”, Y/N breathed.

“ Ms. Y/N L/N, will you do me the honor of giving me your hand?”, Mr. Ackerman proposed a second time.

“ Of course I will! Yes, yes,yes! A thousand times I will say yes!”, she affirmed. Y/N and Levi locked lips just as the sun finally rose to the sky, and the sun’s warmth and light reached them. Both of them had wanted this for as long as they could remember falling for each other, and this blissful, euphoric moment was far better than what they had dreamed.

Y/N laughed as she ran back to the house, hand in hand with Levi, who was unsmiling, but this time with a softer expression. What you couldn’t decipher about Levi’s emotions from his facial expressions you could make out from his eyes. His gaze was soft and his eyes were shining. His heart was thudding and the butterflies that exploded in his stomach and heart every time he was in contact with Y/N came back.

“ Everybody, me and Mr. Ackerman are engaged!”, Y/N announced. Everybody cheered, and Christa embraced Y/N so tightly, she felt as if her bones would snap!

Christa and Y/N had a double wedding. The ceremony took place at Utgard castle, and the decorations made the already stunning castle look even more beautiful! All of Mr. Ackerman’s relatives and friends attended, and so did Y/N’s. Sasha rode from Liberio to Utgard with Mr. Yeager, and Nifa and cousin Elias came from Shiganshina. Everybody was there, even Lady Katrina!

Sasha, Ella, Nifa, Marceline and Vanya served as the bridesmaids. Y/N and Christa donned off white, puffy white wedding dresses with numerous ruffles and floral accents for the wedding. They curled their hair and accessorized with pearls. As typical brides, they got emotional over anything, and cried happy tears upon seeing the other in their wedding dress. Erwin Smith shed a few tears when he saw Christa walk out, but Levi remained poker faced as always. Though he didn’t show it, he was an emotional wreck inside! The sisters looked like fairies in their dresses!

The rest of the ceremony went great. Lady Katrina was a polite guest, and though it was obvious she still showed contempt towards Y/N and Christa’s family, she didn’t cause a scene unnecessarily, and even begrudgingly complimented Y/N’s dress (before muttering a comment on how Amanda would look better in it under her breath).

Erwin and Levi stared lovingly at their brides the entire time.

Finally it was time for them to ride off to their new homes. This was Levi and Y/N’s first time sitting together in a carriage, and Y/N admired the view from outside the carriage with a smile playing on her lips. The sun was just setting, and all the hills and bushes were as green as they could be. The sky was a blend of tangerine orange and melon pink, and crows flew from east to west. Y/N was still in a daze after the wedding. She couldn’t believe it had happened!

“ What are you thinking about?”, Levi asked, bringing her back from her daze.

“ Oh, nothing, I was just looking at the view outside”

“ Yes, it’s quite pretty isn’t it?”

“ It is, yes. But now that you asked me, I actually am thinking of something quite interesting indeed”, Y/N told him.

“ And what might that be?”, Levi asked curiously.

“ It’s just that last April we were in the rain having a verbal battle, and I told you that I’d never be persuaded to marry you. And now here we are, tied together with rings, sitting next to each other in a decorated carriage”, she laughed. Levi smiled, a sight she was still getting used to. Maybe he’d smile more after being married to her for quite some time.

“ It’s most ironic. But I am glad I got a second chance with you, Mrs. Ackerman”, he said.

“ And I’m glad I was open minded enough to give you a second chance. But, Levi, I have a question for you”

“ What might that be?”

“ When did you first realize that you love me?”

“ Well”, he trailed off, trying to find an answer for her.

“ That question doesn’t have a definitive answer. I just knew that you were the most interesting woman at any ball or setting where we ran into each other, and I was always amused by your honesty and the way you teased me. One day, I just woke up and realized I love you, I guess”, Levi shrugged as she replied honestly. Y/N was satisfied.

“ That makes sense, I guess. I personally came to terms with my sentiments after I discovered you were making amends, and after I saw the very positive changes in you when we met again after the dispute in the rain”, Y/N informed him.

Y/N laid her head on his shoulder, and closed her eyes, taking in his minty scent and his warmth. Levi intertwined his hands with hers, and the two rode off to their new lives, hearts beating with anticipation, this time in perfect harmony…

THE END

[xialing-gf]

school spirit

summary: mj does the most disastrous thing a high schooler could possibly do: fall for a cheerleader

wc: 1781

MJ loathed going to school sports events. Well, loathed was a strong word. She strongly preferred not to waste three hours of her life by screaming and shouting with teens who were way too interested in people kicking balls around. MJ’s idea of a school sports event was probably wildly exaggerated as she had never actually been to one and relied on movies and rumors to create an idea of what they were like.

As much as Michelle hated going to school sports events, she caved and agreed to attend a football game with Ned and Peter (only because that was the only way they would agree to play Super Smash Bro’s at her house during the weekend). They dragged her excitedly to the football game and chose front row seats so they could be closer to the action. 

Michelle didn’t tell her friends that she brought a book with her so she could read it once they were distracted by the game. However, she didn’t expect to be the one who was the most distracted. 

When Michelle was about to take out her book to read once the football game started, her attention was caught by the cheerleaders cheering on the track. Normally, Michelle would have just rolled her eyes at their peppy facade but her eyes landed on you. 

You were one of the most enthusiastic cheerleaders as you always cheered the loudest and never faltered in front of an unimpressed crowd. Michelle watched in awe when you ran to the middle of the formation and the cheerleaders boosted you up to the top of the pyramid they formed. Waving your blue and yellow pom-poms, you shouted, “M-I-D-T-O-W-N! Go Midtown!” 

Your eyes met Michelle’s when you scanned the audience and when you saw her stunned expression, you gave her a wink before jumping down into the net formed by your fellow cheerleaders’ arms. Right at that moment, Ned and Peter turned towards Michelle to ask her if she wanted to get snacks with them and saw the blush spreading across her tan skin.

“Who’s that?” Michelle asked her friends as she watched you continue to chant a cheer with the other cheerleaders. 

“Whoa, Michelle. I think she’s the captain of the cheerleader team. She’s way out of your league,” Ned shook his head, chuckling when he saw the lovesick expression on your face.

“Do I look like I care?” MJ turned towards her friends with a deadpan expression on her face. Peter stifled a laugh behind his hand. “Fine. I’ll find out who she is without your help.”

Michelle watched you during the entire football game, making sure to look away when you glanced in her direction to seem disinterested. Once the football game was over, Michelle saw you and your friends head to the hot dog stand, so she bid a quick goodbye to Peter and Ned before walking to the hot dog stand. Ned honestly thought Michelle was going insane and called after her, reminding her that she shouldn’t be talking to you and she responded by flashing him the middle finger. 

While you were giggling about a joke with your friends next to the hot dog stand, Michelle walked up to you after taking a deep breath and mentally preparing herself.

“Hi! I’m Michelle. Uh, you’re really good at cheerleading. I just wanted to let you know that,” Michelle managed to speak without completely stuttering, which she was almost never able to do with complete strangers.

“Oh hi! I’m Y/n. Thank you so much for your compliment! I really appreciate it,” You grinned at Michelle and Michelle nearly fainted. She swore that your smile had the beauty of all the stars in the sky combined. Pointing to the book Michelle had tucked her arm, you asked, “Is that ‘Turtles All the Way Down’ by John Green? I love that book!”

Michelle is shocked by your remark and replies, “Really? Me too. I mean, obviously, since I’m reading it.”

“We should hang out sometime. You seem like a cool person,” You casually remarked as you took a sip out of your drink. Surprise was evident on your friends’ faces as they observed your strange behavior.

“Yeah! We should. You seem like a cool person too. Okay, um, see you around!” MJ quickly turned around and walked away with her hands in her pockets. She had no clue that you watched her as she left with a hopeful smile on your face. 

Michelle did end up seeing you a lot at school. You always waved to her, no matter who you were surrounded by. She waved back and you two shared a knowing smile. Peter and Ned were stunned when Michelle voluntarily asked them if they could go to a football game with her. At the football game, Michelle tried to work up the courage to talk to you again but when she saw that you were surrounded by more of your friends than last time, she decided against it.

Then, on Coming Out Day, Michelle had the opportunity to talk to you again. You officially came out as bisexual, which had shocked the entire school as no cheerleader had ever come out in the school’s history. Michelle saw you at your locker and decided to congratulate you.

“Hey Y/n! It’s me, Michelle. Congrats on coming out!” You broke into your classic smile when you saw Michelle standing behind you.

After you closed your locker, you gave Michelle a big hug. Michelle was stunned by your gesture so you explained once you pulled away. “Thank you for inspiring me to come out! Remember how you came out last year? That really helped me come out this year.”

“Oh, wow that’s so sweet! Thank you so much,” Michelle was taken aback by your reply. Nobody had ever told her that she had an impact on their life, much less hank her for coming out as a lesbian. 

“Of course!” You beamed back. The bell rang, initiating the passing period before fifth period. Reluctantly, you two broke apart and as you began walking to your next class, you waved, “See you!”

“Yeah!” Michelle replied before practically skipping to her next class, joy overflowing in her heart. Her next class was geometry, a class that she despised being in and often slept in. But because of her interaction with you, Michelle was wide awake in her class and grinning while she doodled hearts in her notebook. Peter and Ned exchanged concerned glances, weirded out by MJ’s enthusiastic behavior; they figured it was because of you.

A few days later, you and MJ met in the parking lot of the school. Michelle was just about to drive home when she noticed you were standing by your car with your phone pressed against your ear, looking very distressed.

“Hey, are you okay?” Michelle asked carefully, approaching your car. You sighed, putting your phone down as you turned towards her. 

“Yeah, but my car isn’t. The insurance company is coming and my sister promised to handle all the technical stuff since insurance will probably get here around the time her rehearsal ends. I just need a ride home.”

Without thinking, Michelle offered, “I can give you a ride home if you’d like.”

“Really?” Your eyes lit up with hope upon hearing her offer and when Michelle nodded in confirmation, you threw your arms around her in a tight embrace. This was the second time you had hugged her this week and if you kept giving her hugs, Michelle was going to melt into a puddle. “Thank you so much, Michelle!”

“You can call me MJ,” Michelle grinned as she opened the door to the passenger's seat for you.

“I like your nickname. It’s so cute! Thank you, MJ,” You smile in response and Michelle nearly drops her car keys due to the overload of emotions she experiences from your simple response. When MJ drives you home, you decide to have a conversation about the book ‘Turtles All the Way Down’ with her. From this conversation, you found out that you and MJ had a very similar taste in books. Who would have ever thought that the cheer captain and a lonely bookworm could have so much in common? 

Once MJ arrives at your house, she commented, “Your house is actually really close to mine. We live, like, one block away from each other.”

This sparked an idea and you took out a post-it note from your backpack and explained as you scribbled something down with sharpie, “In that case, here’s my number. I owe you a ride sometime since you gave me one today. Thank you so much again!”

MJ watched as you grabbed your backpack and bag of cheerleading gear before walking back to your house. Watching you disappear into your house, Michelle finally realized that she was developing a giant crush on you,

With the homecoming dance approaching, the majority of students were concerned about who they were going with. Michelle didn’t expect anybody to ask her and she wasn’t going to ask anybody out either, even though she desperately wanted to you out. 

That was until Ned ran up to you during lunch with an excited expression. “There are rumors that Y/n is turning down all offers to go to homecoming, from both boys and girls. People think it’s because she’s planning on asking somebody out to homecoming.”

Suddenly, you felt a surge of hope. What if the person you were planning on asking out was Michelle? Ever since Coming Out Day and the day Michelle gave you a ride home, Michelle’s relationship with you had been shifting slowly but surely. Michelle went to every single football game just so she could cheer you on and watch your routines. You talked with her after each football game and often times, Michelle would give you a ride home and playfully tease you about your pom-poms.

At the last football game before homecoming, Michelle was supporting you in the crowd as usual and there was an abrupt shift from the usual routines as the song changed from an upbeat, dance song to a slightly slower, romantic song. Your cheer teammates surrounded you and hoisted you up in a pyramid as you held up a sign that said, “MJ, Hoco with me?”

All eyes in the crowd turned away from the game and towards MJ as she clasped her hands over her mouth in shock. There’s only one extra second of hesitation before Michelle removed her hands from her mouth and cries, “Yes!”

This is how Michelle ended up never missing another school football game in her entire high school career.

~

check out my mj x reader masterlist or more marvel fics on my marvel page! comment to be added to my mj x reader taglist

Mj Taglist: @retrobhaddie @just-your-local-history-nerd​ @chickenstrips45 @vaginalstds @stop-drop-and-drumroll

[valkirsif]

The drummer

For mine favorite sweety @learisa <3

Sebastian Stan (drummer) x Reader

Warning- Smut!!!! MORE SMUT!! ;)

Word 3500

"What do you want Doll ?" the man asked in a hoarse voice full of excitement,

"I'm listening to you .. " he said smiling at her while continuing to use the drumsticks on her breasts as if he were playing the drums, Y/N was out of breath, she was drowning in pleasure, it seemed to her that Seb had been torturing her for hours holding her on the edge of orgasm, she was jumped on him even before arriving in her room, as soon as the elevator doors were closed the man had pushed her against the glass putting his tongue in her mouth putting his hands on her ass,

"I don't want you to be able to misunderstand the situation" he whispered taking her hand and bringing it on his cock,

"It's to fuck you that I chose you .. and I think it's the same thing you want, don't deny it you're a lake" he laughed putting a finger in her pussy, Y/N hadn't even tried to avoid it, Seb was right he wanted him he fucked her .. she didn't think the evening would end like that when she was getting ready with her friends to go to the concert.

The girls had joined her at her house, she was the closest to the theater and they would not have taken the car,

"Y/N can I wear your red shirt?" Sara screamed from the bedroom,

" Sure .. you can also hold it to me it is no longer" answered the woman laughing putting on the yellow tank top with the drummer's logo that she had worn at every concert, she liked the transparent effect that showed the red bra and her soft tits and full,

"I thought I'd also give you my blue silk sheath dress, I had a new one made" she laughed hearing the cries of joy from her friend ,

"I'm really glad you got fat" Sara replied cheerfully,

"I've always loved that dress" laughed hugging her, it was a special evening .. Y/N celebrated the freedom of being single after 3 years of relationship with a man who he thought was his property, she had regained the pounds that he had made her lose and recognized in the mirror again, buttery and full body, full lips and breasts prosperous than it was back when the same and would have enjoyed yet another concert of his favorite band, had the best tickets, under the stage, she would have enjoyed Seb playing from much closer than usual,

"GIRLS LET US LATE !!" Nicole was screaming from the living room, the group left the house and followed the large group of fans who headed towards the theater, the atmosphere was electric and cheerful, a multitude of people all there for the same reason, the music, took place on the numbered armchairs under the stage and waited for the concert to begin.

The support group had charged the spectators, everyone was dancing and screaming, the screams grew in intensity as soon as the lights went out and they heard the singer greet the audience, Y/N and the friends jumped wildly, the group appeared among the bright flashes greeting before taking her place, the girl focused on Seb , she found him sexier every time she saw him her friends involved her in a dance all together, she was having a lot of fun when she looked back at the man it seemed to her that he was staring, "Surely it's my impression" she said to herself, the lights were very strong it was not possible that he could see it, probably from the stage they saw everything dark hearing only the cries of the fans, during a break in the show they ran to get a drink, it was a hot fierce despite being in the open air but with the tide of people that were there it was normal, even if they had the best seats there was still crowds, they were soaked, Elisabetta was the most far-sighted among them, under the shirt she had put the bikini so she undressed without hesitation, Y/N would have imitated her but the bra was transparent, even though she felt comfortable in her body she was quite shy, she sighed and poured a bottle of water on her head to cool off,

“Hey if you have to play miss wet t-shirt you might as well take it off " Sara laughed taking off her tank top, Y/N blushed trying to cover herself before realizing that no one was paying attention to her .. well almost no one, she turned to look at the stage where the concert had resumed and noticed that Seb was staring at her, this time she couldn't imagine it the man was smiling at her giving her a nod, she smiled her best smile starting to dance for him, at that moment there was only them , she dancing and he playing, smiling, sweaty and beautiful, returned to earth when Nicole took her by the hips to dance,

"PERFECT evening don't you think?" she screamed in her ears,

"After the concert I booked at Yama's",

"Great idea" replied Y/N, "We haven't been there for months" the girls laughed merrily shaking their asses like little girls, Y/N felt great a man approached her touching her shoulder,

"Sorry" he shouted to be heard, her friends gathered around her as if to underline that they didn't want that kind of company,

"You can rest assured I have no annoying intentions" he said laughing,

"Sebastian would like to invite you to dinner after the show .. " he said to Y/N nodding towards the drummer who was watching them at that moment,

"How sorry?" she asked in amazement, staring first at Seb then at the bodyguard, the man smiled at her and repeated the invitation, her friends were speechless and she was speechless, they looked at each other for a moment, none of them would ever refuse or prevent the others from accept turned to the man,

" Er .. ok .. " she stammered,

"Great, this is your pass," he said putting a card around her neck,

"After the show go to the back stage they will take you to the band" he said greeting and retracing his steps, Y/N took the precious card in her hands not believing her eyes,

"I knew those boobs would open many doors for you .. I want a pair too" Sara complained laughing, looking at her shirt,

"That red bra attracts all eyes" laughed Nicole, "Have fun for us too" she laughed,

"I'm stunned I don't believe it yet" replied Y/N returning to dance smiling at Seb , two hours later she walked towards the back stage accompanied by her friends,

"I'll leave you the keys" she said taking a bunch out of her bag and giving it to Nicole, "Wait for me at home .. ",

"You can swear we want all the details .. ALL " they laughed mischievously, an assistant stopped them,

"Pass please" he said, Y/N handed him the card,

"I always pray straight second door on the right" he said giving her directions, the girl greeted her friends and walked away.

When she reached the door she knocked and waited, a bodyguard looked at her sideways blocking the entrance,

"Yes?" he asked seriously, "Are you lost?",

" Er .. Sebastian invited me" she whispered showing the pass,

"Please have a seat" he smiled making her enter, "You don't know how many try to crash" he laughed accompanying her into a sitting room, there were other girls as happy as she,

"The boys are coming right away," the bodyguard said before leaving them alone,

".. you too have been taken aside for the post evening?" asked a girl,

" Yes .. " Y/N replied, "., For Seb too?" she asked curiously, the others waved no, they were one per band member, they were wondering what the evening would be like when the group joined them,

"Hello beautiful" greeted merrily Scot , the singer, "One second and let's go, they are getting the car ready" he smiled, there were embarrassed smiles when the band made the introductions, it was an absurd situation,

"The car is here" said the manager, "The fans are waiting for you outside .. a big smile and let's go", the girls were escorted to the car while the band smiled, took pictures and signed autographs,

"I can't wait to be in the hotel I'm destroyed" Marc said letting himself go on the seat,

".. who do you say .." Seb replied placing a hand on Y/N's knee who squeaked happily,

" Doll if it's okay with you I would order in the room" he said smiling at her,

"Of course no problem" she answered awkwardly, they arrived at the hotel and passed by the garage, a hotel attendant was waiting for them to accompany them to the restaurant, Seb took Y/N by the hand, greeted the others and headed for the elevator.

As soon as the doors closed he pushed her against the mirror kissing her, putting his hands on her ass, Y/N was amazed, she hoped he would kiss her but she didn't expect such a thing,

"How soft you are Doll " he whispered, squeezing her ass,

"I saw you haven't missed a single concert in the last 6 months .. you deserve an award" he laughed,

"Have you seen me the other times?" she asked curiously, she couldn't believe that he had noticed her,

"Sure, tank top and red bra" he replied touching her,

"Hard not to notice these boobs" he laughed touching her breasts, ".. it's exactly how I imagined it .. " he continued to compliment her by kissing her neck, Y/N stopped asking questions by squeezing him, Seb had brought a hand of the girl on the his dick before he creeps into her jeans,

"You are a lake Doll " he said in a hoarse voice inserting a finger inside her while Y/N gently touched him, he had made it very clear how the evening would go and the girl could not wait to be in the room, arrived at the slowly they composed themselves before walking towards the bedroom.

The suite was large and bright, with a big screen in front of the sofa and a fireplace in the corner, colorful carpets covered most of the apartment, Y/N walked around the suite fascinated by so much luxury .. and by the disorder, there were two rooms huge bedroom with private bathroom and a jacuzzi for 5 people, he wondered which was Seb's room and who was occupying the second one,

"I'm ordering dinner, what do you want to eat?" the man asked kissing her neck,

"What you want .. " Y/N replied with goosebumps, ".. I'm hungry" she smiled leaning against him, made herself comfortable on the sofa while Seb was on the phone,

"We have half an hour .. " he said leaning over her,

".. I could start discarding you what do you think?" he smiled pulling off her tank top, the girl let him do she liked the feeling of his hands touching her,

"Up close they are much more beautiful .. " he said looking at her breasts, ".. that bra I have often imagined" he smiled lowering her straps, Y/N moved forward, unfastened her bra and let him take it off,

" It's as soft as I thought" he said excitedly sinking his hands into her boobs, testing their softness, the girl moaned when he squeezed her nipples,

"Don't move .. " he whispered in a hoarse voice going towards the entrance, he came back after a few seconds holding the chopsticks in his hands,

".. I want to hear what sound they make" he smiled turning them over between his fingers, the girl stared at him for a moment understanding what he meant, she smiled at him nodding, the man took a step back and sat down on the table in front of her,

" Seb .. " Y/N said before he started, the man stopped staring at her, ".. can I .. can I have another kiss?" she asked shyly, it was strange to ask to be kissed but she liked the idea of ​​having to ask,

"Anything you want Doll " Seb smiled leaning towards her, took her face in his hands and kissed her running his fingers through her hair,

"Thank you" smiled Y/N still leaning on her knees, the man pushed her towards the sofa,

"You're welcome Doll " he replied sliding the chopsticks on his neck and collarbones, "Stand up straight now" he said in a deep voice, the girl leaned on the sofa putting her hands behind her back, her breasts on display,

"How beautiful you are" he said continuing to go down with his chopsticks on her body, he brushed her inner thigh sliding on her jeans, he played with her pussy through the fabric staring at her, enjoying her moans and her expressions,

".. oh my .. Seb .. " Y/N moaned panting, ".. please don't stop .." she was excited beyond measure,  had wet panties and jeans, the man stopped touching her smiling, he turned his chopsticks between his fingers before starting to "roll" on her breasts, careful not to hurt them too much, her breasts turned red slowly as Seb hit her making her moan and meow with each stroke,

"What a beautiful sound Doll .. " gasped the excited man, "..you're an incredible instrument ..", he stopped "playing" too excited to continue, he lowered his pants and boxers, took her by the hair and fucked her mouth,

".. how wonderful your mouth .." he growled pushing his cock down her throat taking her breath away, Y/N clung to his knees trying to step back but Seb held her tightly continuing to sink into her throat faster and faster,

" FUCK .. " he moaned panting enjoying between her lips, ".. swallow Doll as a good girl" he growled staring at her the girl obeyed with tears in her eyes, no one had ever used her that way but she liked her, she was about to say something when knocked on the door.

Seb broke away from her, composing himself and went to open the door, took the trolley without letting the waiter in and went back to the living room with dinner, Y/N was still on her knees, still aroused and on the verge of orgasm, she looked at the frustrated man,

"Aren't you hungry?" he asked the girl, settling himself comfortably on the sofa,

"I'm hungry .. but not what's under the yokes" she smiled panting as she crawled towards the table, Seb laughed kneeling behind her, stroked her back up towards her neck, slipped a hand over breast playing with the nipples causing her to arch,

"You 're right .. " he said bringing his other hand between her legs, ".. we haven't finished the aperitif .. " he growled kissing her neck, untied her jeans, inserting his hand inside her panties and started to stimulate her continuing playing with her breasts, he inserted two fingers into her pussy moving quickly, putting pressure with the palm on her clit , Y/N moaned opening her legs leaning against him, turned her head to kiss him staring at him,

"Tell it Doll .. " he whispered, biting her neck, ".. say it .. what do you want?",

" Seb please .. " she gasped, "..i need enjoy .. Please .. " cried clouded with pleasure, "..let me enjoy .." the man laughed increasing movements inside her, dug nails in the breast,

"Are you sure?" laughed raging on her body, the girl meowed a "please",

"So enjoy for me Doll .. that's why you are here .. to have fun" Seb said feeling her pussy squeeze his fingers, Y/N enjoyed with a moan kissing him, remained in his arms catching her breath for a few minutes,

"Heaven Seb .. those hands .. " smiled down again straight lacing his fingers with hers, "..you really good with your hands," the two made themselves comfortable and dined, now is she hungry .. hunger for food and hunger of him, she was waiting for the moment when he would fuck her, she didn't care if on the bed, on the floor or among the dinner plates she wanted to feel him inside her.

After dinner Seb got up and took her hand,

"Shall we move the party?" he asked taking her to the bedroom, Y/N smiled following him,

"I need a shower.. come" smiled the man undressing, Y/N stopped to stare at him while he undressed, how beautiful he was, his body covered in tattoos sweaty and muscular, he turned towards her and finished taking off her clothes,

"Beautiful, look at that ass .. " he said to himself giving her a full hand spanking, the girl laughed nervously following him into the bathroom, the shower was spacious with a sandstone bench it looked like a cave, Seb opened the water which gushed from the wall like a waterfall, took Y/N in his arms dragging her under the jet, stuck his tongue in her mouth without delicacy, he was excited again the girl felt his cock against her thigh,

"Can we take it slow please?" she asked as soon as Seb stopped kissing her by biting her neck, she felt his hands everywhere squeezing and scratching, the man looked at her like a predator and smiled at her,

"Calm?!" he asked excitedly, "It's a word I do n't know .. " he said pushing her against the glass by turning it, Y/N moaned halfway between excited and frightened her breasts pressed against the cold glass, the water slipping over their bodies,

".. I think I'll take this nice ass .. what do you think?" he asked in a snarl opening her legs with his knee, he held her still by keeping a hand on her neck, brought his free hand between her legs playing with her clit , making her arch,

"You're a little bitch aren't you Doll ?" he said starting to push his cock into her ass, slowly enjoying her moans, "You have a beautiful voice .. " he laughed entering her, remained motionless until Y/N relaxed,

" Seb .. softly .. " she meowed helpless nailed to the glass,

" Shhh won't you tell me I'm hurting you .. " he whispered continuing to circle her clit , ".. I feel you like it .. I feel your pussy asking for more .. ",

" I .. Seb .. " she moaned, arching more, ".. please ..",

"Please what Doll ?" he laughed moving quickly in his ass, "You're the type to ask right?",

the girl nodded moaning,

"So ask .. I want to hear you beg .. " he said, fucking her hard, he left her neck pulling her leg up to possess her better by sinking into her,

" OMG .. " Y/N yelled out of her mind, ".. FUCK ME .. take all I am" she gasped, the man bit her neck growling before putting two fingers in her pussy, the girl threw her head back . . she felt it everywhere in her,

"What a paradise to fuck a woman like you .. " Seb panted, possessing her determined, ".. soft .. hot .. uninhibited .. ", the atmosphere seemed electrified between the steam of the shower, the two moaned and panted lost in ecstasy,

"Good Doll take it all little bitch .. " he grunted entering her completely, ".. don't you dare to enjoy" he said biting her, she felt she was on the edge but wanted to enjoy it again, Y/N meowed desperately,

" I .. I ca n't .. I ca n't resist .. " she gasped, heard the man laugh pushing into her, continued the assaults without giving her respite,

"Now you can .. " he whispered he felt her pussy squeeze his fingers, the girl tried to cling to the glass for the force of the orgasm, "..DOLL .." he growled enjoying embraced her body trembling, he leaned on her back catching my breath by stroking her back,

"Best fuck ever" he gasped, Y/N laughed with him turning and putting her arms around his neck, they kissed and finished showering before going to bed,

"I'll let you sleep" Y/N said looking for her clothes scattered around the room, "Er, will you call me a taxy ?" she asked, Seb pulled himself up on one elbow looking at her questioningly,

"Aren't you going to sleep?" he asked puzzled,

"I thought you wanted to sleep .. " Y/N replied,

"Yes, I am destroyed and I would like you to stay for the night" he replied calmly, "If you don't have someone waiting for you at home", the girl smiled as she slipped into bed, the evening was going better than she hoped,

".. I would like your number" Seb said squeezing it, ".. I wish I could slip into your panties again when I get back to town",

".. ok .." she replied before falling asleep.

[tae-cup]

Answer: Love Myself | The Pact (4) FINALE

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Summary: It was simple. If you weren’t married by 26, you’d get married to each other. Well, it was supposed to be simple.

Warnings: N/A

Genre: ANGST, Fluff???, Non-Idol!Au, Business!Au-ish

Word Count: 2.4k Words

A/N: Thank you for sticking around to read this series. The support was absolutely amazing and I hope you enjoy this last part! Stay safe everyone and remember to love yourself. 

Other:

Series Masterlist

Normal Masterlist

         A meaningless exchange of words. That’s all this was. Jennie was sitting across from you at the park, Taehyung next to her. His arm was wrapped protectively around her shoulder. You resisted the urge to graze your shoulder with your hand; if only to mimic the contact. 

“So I said to her, ‘Miss, you have a little something right here.’” He pointed to his cheek. “But-”

       Jennie cut in, finishing the story she’d heard a million times before. “-But then she stared incredulously at him and pointed to his hair, which was also covered in the dye.” She chuckled as Taehyung looked shocked. 

“You remembered that story?!” He cried. 

“Of course I did, silly.” The girl poked his cheek. You smiled at them, they looked like they got along better now. Maybe this was how it always was before you came around. 

“I wish you would have told me that before I repeated myself a thousand times.” He grumbled, playing with her hair in his fingers. 

       You were happy for them. Truly happy. Taehyung glanced at you, something in his eyes wavering. His gaze flicked between the two of you, but only one was sitting under his arm, beside him. Jennie and you had found a way to get along somehow in the past few days and you could tell Taehyung was happy you were friends now. 

“Ah, I remember those color wars.” You added, trying to find some way to contribute to the banter. Instead, it did the opposite. The two were obviously pulled away from their little world and you cursed yourself for interrupting. The relationship between you and the two of them would have been normal if it wasn’t for that pact. 

“Right, because you always lost.” Taehyung teased, a small smile on his face. Even Jennie shot you a smile. It felt more sympathetic, maybe pitying, than genuine. It made your face heat up. Desperate for love and attention, yes, but you weren’t one for going after something you couldn’t have. 

“Yah! That’s a bit harsh.” You cried. Taehyung laughed loudly, hand rubbing Jennie’s arm. “I think I won color wars at least once.” You pouted. 

“At my school, the same grade always won the dye round because the student council favored them.” Jennie rolled her eyes. “We never got as much dye as them.”

“Or maybe you were just bad at conserving the dye.” Taehyung chided, booping her nose. Her features twisted to a frown, eyes looking up at him. 

“How dare you accuse me of such an atrocity! I blame the system!” Jennie declared. The two giggle. You’re happy for them. You’re happy for Taehyung. No matter how much you long for his touch, or anyone’s touch in fact. This outing was overshadowed by the bitterness approaching around the corner. Tomorrow. Tomorrow The Pact’s anniversary would take place and you were sure he had dropped it by now. You and Jennie had come to a conclusion, but it was clear Taehyung had not. 

         Taehyung watched you carefully out of the corner of his eyes. You looked much more confident than when you first met. You had grown into a beautiful and charming woman. He wanted to want you, but his heart beat with another. Still, he was a man of his word. He would propose to you. That’s what you wanted, right? If you had asked him if he wanted to marry you a week ago, he would have said yes. But things had been getting better between Jennie and him. He was torn. 

         He was noticing things about Jennie that he’d been blind to before. Her smile, how she waited for him when he got home from work, the way she caressed his cheek. How painful it must have been to see him slipping away. Two years. He looked over to the woman beside him. He had been with her for two years, that must mean something. Maybe it took you blatantly rejecting him for him to get his head out of his ass. He chuckled at the thought, to the confusion of the two women in his company. They were blissfully unaware of his inner struggle. 

         Is this the right decision? You found yourself thinking. You could still get lost in his gaze, you could still long for his fingertips against your skin, but it was different. Your heart didn’t flutter seeing him. You found yourself becoming truly happy for him, pushing away jealousy and resentment. You could forgive him for those words 10 years ago. A smart girl like you shouldn’t have agreed to such a foolish thing. Now you found yourself smiling at the words. They felt like a distant dream. You watched the two snuggle close and you couldn’t help thinking that they fit each other perfectly, like puzzle pieces. Why would you even dream of ripping them apart?

       The day had come. Taehyung had invited you out and you stood at the curb outside your apartment, waiting. Your heart was beating, but not out of nerves. No, you were actually feeling ill. You didn’t want to go through with this. When you had asked him where you were going, he had winked and said ‘it’s a surprise’. 

        You froze as he pulled up to the curb. It was just him, his car, and a nice suit. You gulped, glancing down at your attire. With a deep breath, you knew what you needed to do. You smiled and walked to his car. He jumped out and rushed to the other side, opening the door for you. The warmth of his hand on your back made you shiver as he helped you in. 

“Y/N, I’m so glad you could make it.” He rambled as he drove. 

“Hah, well, I didn’t have much else to do.” Your eyes flickered over to him for a moment before looking back out at the streetlights that whizzed by. In truth, you had cleared your schedule for this day ages ago. However, you had expected the day to be joyous.

     Now, you had a pit of guilt in your gut. You have to go through with it. He seems so excited, Y/N. Then you remembered your words to Jennie. I won’t take him away from you. You swallowed thickly as you pulled up to your old school. Your mouth went dry. You knew what he was doing and you almost didn’t need him to lead you around the side and to the gardens. 

     Your school was always nicer than most. You recognized the faded classroom numbers and pristine halls. In the back was a small garden and in that small garden was a grove. In that grove was a stone bench and a cherry tree. He took your hand, swinging it as if you were a couple. 

“You recognize this place, right?” 

    You nodded slowly, gnawing at your bottom lip. Regret filled you to the brim. 

“This is the place where we-” You cut yourself off, not wanting to finish the sentence. He looked hesitantly at you before nodding. 

“Yeah…” He looked over at the bench. You could see it clear as day. Your 15 year old self sitting next to him, a laptop in hand. You’re laughing, he’s smiling. It’s happy. Then you’re brought to the present. You stood side by side, not a couple, but soon to be engaged. 

“It’s been a while.” You murmured. “Listen I-” You turned to him but he grasped both of your hands, making your heart stop. He still had that effect on you. You could almost lose yourself in this moment, pretend he was yours, that you could kiss those lips, hold these hands, without guilt. 

      He took a deep breath and you trail off, not wanting to interrupt him. Was he going to go through with this? His gaze seemed distant and his brow furrowed for a moment, as if having an internal war. Finally, he stepped back. 

“Y/N. I have loved you for 10 years. 10 years and I haven’t stopped. You and I are right for each other.” Despite his words, He looked so uncertain, unlike the dead gaze he gave you in the library. That night seemed like it was ages ago. You wanted to stop him, to tell him this was a mistake, but he continued. “Let’s make good on this pact, love.” 

      He reached into his suit pocket and opened the velvet ring box and bent on one knee. 

“Will you marry me?”

           You walked down the aisle, a pretty arrangement of flowers in your hands, Jennie had helped you pick them out and you had been surprised by her generosity. You looked beautiful, hair in an updo, arm linked with a man. You smiled at Taehyung and he gazed back at you. You were sure you could see him tear up, but you played it off as the lighting. You nodded reassuringly at him, then you looked up at the high arching ceiling. The wedding bells chimed. Friends and family surrounded you. But they weren’t your friends and family. You took a right. The man holding your arm wasn’t your father and your father wasn’t here to give you away. 

         You part ways with the groomsman and take your place across the way from Taehyung. He didn’t spare you a glance, instead looking eagerly from where you came from. Then you turn, taking a deep breath, to watch the bride walk down the aisle. All rise. You smiled genuinely at Jennie. She looked overjoyed, even her father didn’t seem that bothered. 

        Watching Taehyung be truly happy had been the most fulfilling thing you’d watched in a while. Your heart tugged painfully as the two exchanged their vows, but you still cried with joy when they kissed. Moving on had been hard, but we all grow up someday. Taehyung peered over the bride’s shoulder as the crowd cheered. He winked and then held Jennie’s hand, giving her a look of unadulterated love. 

One month ago

“No.” 

       He quirked his head to the side, confusion flashing across his face. He didn’t rise, as if staying on one knee could convince you more. You smiled softly and stepped forward, falling to your knees in front of him and taking his hands in yours. You gently caressed his hands and closed the box. 

“This is meant for someone else, Taehyung.”

“W-who?”

“You know who.” Your voice is gentle, aching to take him in your arms, to scream yes. One tear. Then another. You watched him slowly unravel in front of you.  

“Y/N, I’ve loved you so long. I just hoped you would love me the same way, but when we met, I knew, I knew you had changed. I have changed. And I missed her, Y/N. She was right in front of me. I was so caught up in you, Y/N.” 

      You nodded, your eyebrows furrowing. Your hands fell into your lap, feeling remorseful, but you also had the urge to make things right.

“I love you, but...but I love her more than just a friend. And I don’t want to lose her.” He confessed.

       Your heart broke, only focused on this man, Taehyung, your best friend, sobbing in front of you. You threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly, letting his tears stain your dress. You rubbed his back, then pulled away once his tears had subsided to sniffles. You looked him the eye, determination coloring your face. 

“Then go to her.”

Present

           You stood in front of the mirror. Your eyes ran over your bug bites scars, skin discoloration, body fat. With a smile, you found yourself rubbing over your features gladly. This was you. This was who you were, this body, this skin, this face. You no longer scrutinized yourself, instead finding yourself loving the person in front of you. She was confident, sure of herself, and...and she loved herself. You stared. Was this really you? 

          You had been waiting for so long, just praying for someone to complete you, to love the faults in yourself. You had been waiting for yourself. You were the missing piece. After all, how can you love someone else if you can’t love yourself?  

           A grin broke out onto your face and you were sure if anyone else was here you would seem like a maniac. You hugged your arms, complimenting your appearance. Those scars were yours. That discoloration showed you spent time outside, enjoying your life. The fat meant you ate well, that you were healthy. Acceptance felt nice. 

         You brushed your hands through your hair, trying to contain the frizz that came with humidity combined with wind. The wedding was certainly taking place on a hot night. You could feel yourself sweating as you stepped out of the bathroom. 

“Y/N!” Jennie shouted, immediately noticing you. She drew you into a hug. “I’m so grateful to you. You know, you came at just the right time.” The two of you weren’t worried about talking about what happened, now it was more of a joke. 

          You were basically inseparable now, becoming close friends with the couple. It was silly to think you ever had a feud as heated as it seemed. Taehyung had laughed and told you guys that he had always thought the feud was unnecessary. That had earned two wary stares from the both of you. ‘You can’t blame me! You had me worried there for a bit.’ Jennie had pouted, earning a kiss from Taehyung and a laugh from you. 

“Ah, it’s no problem, call it fate.” You winked. 

“I mean, I spent so much time thinking I was being a fool for loving him, knowing he must love someone else.” She rambled and her eyes fell ever so slightly. You brushed your fingers under her chin, making her look up from her downcast eyes on the floor. 

“A bride shouldn’t look so down on her wedding day. And you were never foolish for thinking that. A smart girl doesn’t do foolish things, love.” You smiled at her. 

       You watched her eyes brighten and she rushed off to talk to her other friends. Your eyes slid over to Taehyung, sitting alone at the wedding table. You missed his smile. You missed his eyes. But you knew that this was right. Your phone buzzed in your pocket. 

Movie night, next Saturday? - Taehyung

You chuckled, making eye contact with him.

Pay attention to your wife.

But She’s busy with her friends and I’m alone at the wedding table.

Yeah?

       You saw him scoff, almost heard it too. You had heard his voice so many times, it didn’t matter that the music was pounding in your ears.

So is it a deal?

      You rolled your eyes, suddenly reminded of when you first made the pact. Deal? Deal. A shaking of hands. Now you looked up at him, a small smile on your face. 

Deal

Curtain fall, end scene. 

Taglist: @tangledsparkles​  @rjsmochii @bonnyskies @imluckybitches​

A/N: Thank you for sticking around! Love yourself!!

[bubblyani]

Holding in Green

(Adam Sackler x Reader)

An Adam Sackler One Shot

Genre: Fluff

Warning: Swearing

Request: i don’t know if u are taking requests but, if u are, could u do a Adam S. being jealous? xx @hidingp​

Author’s Note: Yes this is a jealous Adam Sackler fic but full of so much fluff I was floating in it. Just wanna love the man so freakin much. Hope y’all enjoy!

“You wanna talk about what happened tonight?” You asked, giving a knowing look to Adam.The french fry remained in between your fingers a lot longer than it should.

“What do you mean?”

He may have sounded nonchalant, but his eyes knew exactly what you meant.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(A few hours ago)

The rhythmic beat of the hiphop track echoed in the background while the group of dancers waited in the wings off stage. Your eyes followed each of them, enter the stage one by one. They moved in sync, and you made sure they did. When it finally was your queue, you made your entrance with a bang.

That was when you saw him.

In the audience drowning in darkness, Adam Sackler was visible to you more than anyone else. When your eyes met, he smiled brightly, giving a small yet silly wave. A wave only the two of you would enjoy. Unable to contain your joy, you blew your friend a kiss, incorporating it to your act with professionalism as you proceeded to dance with motivation. Your friendship with Adam Sackler was quite the interesting one. 

The first time you met him, it was during a rehearsal for a play he was in. Simple choreography was a necessity and your friend who was assigned to it had an emergency. Offering your helping hand as the substitute, all you wanted to do was be helpful. Adam understood your clear intentions, and though he was professional, he could not help but engage in conversations with you throughout the entire session. It was inevitable for the two of you to click. When you weren’t given the chance to sub anymore, Fate was kind to both of you with having the both of you run into each other in various instances. The friendship blossomed and their petals were strong enough to last. You respected him enough to offer him space without getting involved in his personal life if not disclosed with you. Having been burnt enough, you did not crave for unnecessary drama. Adam Sackler was a great friend to have. You both appreciated similar things and losing a great friendship was the last thing you hoped to do. 

He was eccentric, he was wild and dramatic, yet he was also sensitive. You could not help but adore him in a way which could not be defined. You adored his undying support to you and your dreams. Whichever performance you did, wherever and whenever, you would find him there, by chance or by invitation. He’d never miss it. Even this time, when you everyone else was too busy to even care, he showed up.

No wonder you couldn’t contain your inner joy. If anyone ever paid too much attention, they’d probably call this boyfriend behavior. But that mere notion was ludicrous in itself.

But anyways, back to the dance.

You felt your body set itself on fire as you led the group behind you. The choreography was packed and intense, with very little time to stop and even breath. You felt powerful, you felt sexy.

The choreography grew heated as one of the male dancers took you by the hand, guiding you to his arms. Bodies pressed against one another, they rolled to rhythm. The onstage chemistry was off the charts. You heard the audience scream in ecstasy. It was successful. Your eyes swiftly moved to see Adam’s approval. Was he impressed?

Instead you merely found him siting there, giving the coldest look you’ve ever seen. You would have delved into concern but there was simply no time as the group moved together once again, finally coming to a perfect finish.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“There you are!”

You squealed as the backstage doors burst open, and he swooped in first, welcoming you with a growl and a hug. You were touched in an overdose. You lingered in his arms with happiness. Seeing him to be the first to get up and applaud with enthusiasm, made you happier to even begin with.

“Awww...I’m so glad you came” you said, glancing at him up and down. Donning a smart suit, he even dressed up for the occasion, looking more handsome than ever. The crowds may have mixed in, but for the two of you it seemed irrelevant.

“Oh my god...” Adam began, “you were just fucking in-”

“Y/N!!”

A group of your older choreographer mentors surrounded the two of you. As they gushed out their sea of compliments, you noticed Adam beam with pride for you. He was appropriate in every way.  He was polite to them, introducing himself promptly and being the perfect guest. You could say you were equally feeling prideful.

 “And there he is...our other star!” One of them cried out as your dance partner from earlier joined in. Tanned and muscular, he flashed you a bright smile.

“We did it Y/N!” He said excitedly, moving into give you a hug.

“So what’s everyone saying?” you asked him

“Oh man...Our dance...” he said with such passion,”they are so digging the chemistry...” “I don’t know, I mean...was there any chemistry though?”

You both turned to Adam’s nonchalant yet snide remark. Towering before you both, he looked unwelcoming with his hands folded. A sheer contrast from earlier.

“Ah...where are my manners? Dave, I want you to meet my friend Adam” you said, “He’s an actor”  adding with pride. With a genuine smile, Dave extended his hand to Adam, “Hey man”

“Hey!”

Feigning enthusiasm, Adam shook his hand, giving it with a squeeze. And by Dave’s uncomfortable expression, you could tell he was squeezing it too tight.

“And Adam...this is Dave, one of the most promising dancers around” “Oh Y/N stop..” Dave shook his head with a chuckle, “...that’s not true”

“Yeah Y/N...I’ve seen better dancers” Adam certainly came in strong with these snarky remarks.

The atmosphere was getting tense and awkward. You were surprised to the fullest.

“Oookay...” Dave began, “...anyways, you coming to the after party?” He asked.

“Yes!”

“No!”

With raised eyebrows, you looked at Adam. “You don’t wanna come?” You asked him, to which he just shook his head. “Nah...Not in the mood”

The enthusiastically polite man from earlier had suddenly transformed into a child. Concerned, you knew you won’t have any peace of mind if you just let this go.

“I uh...I think I’m gonna take a rain check this time, Dave”

“Aww man, everyone’s gonna miss you though”  Dave said with disappointment, “...but all good babe”

He moved in for one more hug, only to be interrupted by Adam, who pulled you towards him to make room for a random stranger, who in the end, did not walk their way. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Fuck!”

Shivering, Adam jumped up and down. “It’s so chilly tonight” he sniggered as they walked along on the pavement.

“Hmmm”

Your reply was flat. Staring into the distance, you walked alongside him. Adam looked at you with concern.

“You cold?”He asked, even proceeding to take his jacket off to offer you.

“Hmmm”

You answered, haven’t yet noticed it as you kept walking. It was just strange. The moment they exited the theatre, there he was being his usual self. Trying to figure it all out, you found yourself to be very quiet.

Until you felt his hand on your arm.

“You okay?”

He stepped in front of you, waking you from your thoughts to reality. Suddenly you felt the extra chill in the wind, his jacket over your shoulders , and a rumble in your stomach.

“Actually...I’m kinda hungry”You admitted, automatically giving him his jacket back. Chuckling, you pressed your lips, “I just realized I didn’t eat anything” you said, your hands digging in the pocket of your hoodie, “...and they promised some food at the after party so-”

“Shit!” Adam cried out loud, holding his head. You watched the giant figure slouch with guilt.

“I’m sorry Y/N”

“No! it’s okay”

“Nope! Not acceptable. Come on!” 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Present)

It was on him tonight, he said. Order anything, he said as he confidentially handed you the diner menu. So you ordered the two things you couldn’t live without: French fries and a milkshake.

“How are the fries?”

He asked, watching you stuff yourself. You nodded.

“Good. I was really hungry” you replied with a full mouth. Finally swallowing them, you smiled warmly, “Thank you”. 

A coy smile was incited as you both shared silence. 

“You were amazing tonight, you know.” Adam began, making you cover your face shyly, “You’re lying” you said.

“No really, I’m serious” sitting forward, he kept his elbows on the table, “No one...no one else was upto your level”

You were sipping in your milkshake , yet warmth spread over your body as it always did whenever he complimented you. His company was soothing in a way you couldn’t comprehend. Therefore, you couldn’t figure out the disturbance in the atmosphere tonight.

“You wanna talk about what happened tonight?” You asked, giving a knowing look to Adam.The french fry remained in between your fingers a lot longer than it should.

“What do you mean?”

He may have sounded nonchalant, but when his glance caught yours, you could tell his eyes knew exactly what you meant.

Exhaling deeply, you ate the french fry.  You licked off the salt off your fingers before you began to speak.

“Adam, do you know what I love about our friendship?”

His nose twitched upon hearing the word “friendship”. Uncomfortably , he answered with a mere shake of his head.

“Communication...” you said, “talking to you was always something I loved doing. I swear...” chuckling, you continued, “I can talk to you for...hours” you said, watching a smile form in the corner of his lips, “and I know, whatever problem we have...we could always figure it all out that way”

Nodding, Adam kept staring at your plate of half finished fries. Noticing it, you pushed your plate towards him.

“What happened with you and Dave?”

You asked with genuine curiosity, “I mean...before you were so nice and normal. And suddenly...just-”

“I don’t like him, that’s it” Adam snapped as he interrupted you.

“But why?”

“Y/N....” addressing you sternly, he continued, “You don’t need reasons to dislike certain people, you told me that once”

“Yeah...but why him? I mean...that weird guy down at the bodega..I can understand, but-”

Pausing, suddenly realization came over you. The way he turned cold watching you and Dave onstage. His snappy behavior around him. His deliberate attempt to avoid him hugging you. You gasped.

“Unless...” you muttered, “you’re jealous?”

It came out of you so softly, for you couldn’t believe it for one second. Running his hand through his hair, Adam growled.

“The moment that motherfucker put his hands on you” he said through gritted teeth, “...the way you guys were onstage. It just-“ You scoffed for you still could not fathom it.

“But I’ve danced with so many people onstage.Why now-”

“IT’S CAUSE I HAVE FUCKING FEELINGS FOR YOU, OKAY??”

Adam cried out, making you drop your jaw in shock.

Realizing his outburst, he looked down in embarrassment, “Fucking shit” He muttered.

A loud shush of disapproval was targeted towards your booth by an older waitress passing by. With an inaudible apology at her, you looked back at Adam.

This was definitely unexpected. But in a way, was it something you longed for in your heart all along?

“Wow...” You muttered softly, “I...I did not know that” “I’m...” pausing, Adam’s voice broke with vulnerability “I’m in Awe of you Y/N” He said, as his eyes twinkled upon looking at you, “And to even hear you calling me your friend or what we have a friendship is just...” clicking his tongue, he sighed, “...it’s sickening! It’s fucking hard”

Seeing him like this was nowhere familiar. And it broke your heart. You didn’t know of the effect you had in him. You never thought he’d think of you this way. And thus, you never considered feeling the same for him in return.

Until now.

Slowly getting up, you caught his full attention as you walked towards his side of the booth. Sitting next to him, you moved close enough, daring yourself as you slid over to his lap. His response was natural. The way his hand slithered over to your waist and the way he welcomed your weight on top of him.

Though it felt comfortable, you suddenly felt your heartbeat increase. Wrapping one arm around his neck, you lovingly gazed into his eyes with such intensity. You stroked his cheek, hoping to drive away the suffering caused cause of you.

Only one way to know, you thought.

Only one way to feed this aching curiosity.

Leaning in, your lips felt like magnets as they glued in to his in a tender kiss.

Tenderness turned into new found passion as he kissed you back. And man, it felt so perfect. So perfect that you found yourself getting addicted to a brand new kind of high. Breaking away, your foreheads touched to recover. “Always wanted to do that” you breathed against his lips. “No shit” he replied. Holding his face with both hands, you looked at with seriousness.

“All that you said, I get it. Really... I do. And it’s just so fucked up. It’s totally fair cause you had no clue what I was thinking. But...I want you to know...you don’t need to feel that anymore”

“Yeah?” He asked with desperation.

“Yeah...” you nodded, running your fingers through his dark raven locks, “There’s no need to hold in that green monster anymore, Adam” you whispered,

“Cause I’m yours”

A joyous smile filled his face before he kissed you passionately once again. You swore you forgotten your place until you heard the same waitress clear her throat with annoyance, forcing you both to pull away with frustration.

“Do you uh...” you began, twirling his hair around your finger, “...maybe wanna stay over tonight?“ Speechless, Adam merely nodded frantically, allowing his lips to reunite with yours, further sealing in the newly blossomed romance that had replaced the friendship that stood strong before. ——————————————————

Check My MASTERLIST for More :)

[harryhooksgazebos267]

Looking at me~ Jungkook x Reader

Pairing: Jungkook x idol!reader

Genre: Angst, comedy (not a lot)

Warnings: Probably cursing

Requested: Yes, based off of the song by Sabrina Carpenter titled Lookin at me

A/n: Anon, I’m so sorry 😖 This is absolute trash but I tried my best 🥺👉👈 I hope you like it…

MASTERLIST

It had been about a five months since you last talked to Jungkook and honestly, you had taken the break up pretty bad. Sure, he had been an asshole but that didn’t mean you didn’t love him. It had caused you to fall into severe depression and you couldn’t even leave your dorm for days. When the news of your break up came out, the media had a field day. The responses were pretty spilt on who they supported. Contrary to what Jungkook said, your group was actually pretty popular (you were apart of Red Velvet?? Like seriously dude, you didn’t even need him for popularity) so you had a lot of fans supporting you. But, of course with love there is always hate. At one point, the hate mixed with being hurt over Jungkook got so bad, that it caused your company to postpone your solo debut. The only reason you got out of your slump was because of you members, specifically Irene.

“Y/n you have to get out of bed! Why don’t we go get something to eat?” She suggested while jumping on your bed and laying next to you.

“No,” you mumbled as you snuggled even deeper into your blanket.

“You can’t sit and mope around all day you know.”

“Isn’t that’s exactly what I’ve been doing? So if you don’t mind, I shall continue on with my mopping,” you sass back as you turn and face the other way.

“Y/n,” she sighed out as she sat on her knees and placed her hand on your shoulder.

“What do I always tell you about men?” She questioned while shaking you a little.

“ᴹᵉⁿ ᵃᶦⁿ’ᵗ ˢʰᶦᵗ”

“I’m sorry I can’t hear you? What did you say?”

“Mᴇɴ ᴀɪɴ’ᴛ sʜɪᴛ,” you muttered out a little louder, a small smile forming on your face.

“Oh come on, say it a little louder!”

“MEN AIN’T SHIT” You screamed causing the two of you to laugh.

“Ahhh come on, is that all you got?”

“MEN AIN’T SHIT! MEN AIN’T SHIT! MEN AIN’T SHIT!”

The two of you began to chant at the top of your lungs. Yeri and Joy suddenly came into the room, falling in sync with Irene and you. A few moments later, Seulgi and Wendy, who were just out shopping, came into the room looking really confused causing you all to stop. You all kind of just looked at each other and then in unison started the chant once more. That was the first time you had smiled or laughed in a loooong time. After that, you decided to change your entire solo song and performance. At first you had planned on doing a cute little love song but you felt as though that wouldn’t be the best thing to do. No, instead you decided to write a song that would basically be a big “fuck you!” to Jungkook.

Thus, bringing us to modern day! So, you had decided not to drop the MV for your song until after you performed it at the MAMA awards! With Jungkook and BTS all there to hear it! Cute right?

You were currently backstage getting yourself hyped for you performance. To say you were nervous would be an understatement. First of all, you were the first one in Red Velvet to have a solo debut and this would be the first time in months you had performed or been in the public eye. Second, there was the entire thing with Jungkook so…

“Y/n?”

Ah speak of the devil!

Turning around, you were met with the boys wide eyes as he smiled at you awkwardly.

“Jungkook,” you replied back with no emotion.

“You look so beautiful,” he commented as he eyed you up and down.

“I know, thanks.”

“Ummm how have you been?” He nervously asked as he bit the inside of his cheek.

“I’ve been great, how about you?” You questioned with a wide smile, he didn’t need to know how much he had hurt you.

“Do you want my honest answer or a lie?”

You thought about it for a second but decided one the latter.

“Honest I guess.”

“Honestly, I’ve felt like shit. I’ve felt so lost without you. Baby, I’m sorry for everything I said. I don’t even know what I was thinking, you know I didn’t mean any of it.”

“Clearly you met what you said, why else would you have said it,” you scoffed.

“I….okay I did mean it but it came out really wrong and I shouldn’t have said it to your face. I’m sorry y/n.”

“You shouldn’t have said it to my face?” You laughed out bitterly as you bit your lip and shook your head.

“Well, I’m glad you’re sorry because you should be but I don’t know what you thought was gonna happen by telling me all this. If you did it to make yourself feel less guilty or whatever, I hope it worked. Did it make me feel any better? No but you never were the best at making me feel good. Now I have to go and-“

“Wait y/n please! Just give me a second chance, I’m sorry. I know what I said was wrong and I’m…I’m just so sorry! I don’t understand what else you want me to do or say!”

“See that’s the problem! You think that just saying a simple sorry is going to fix everything and it’s not! Giving me a sorry exscuse for an apology doesn’t solve anything! Until you realize how much you fucked up, I don’t want to hear it. You lost me Jungkook and there is nothing you can do about it.”

“Y/n? Is everything okay?” You heard Wendy’s voice call out to you as she approached Jungkook and you with a confused look on her face. You gave Wendy a tight smile as you took a few steps away from Jungkook.

“Of course! I’m sure it’s almost time for me to perform so we should go right?”

“Y/n,” Jungkook called out in one last attempt to get you to forgive him.

“I have to go now or else I’m going to be late. You already fucked up one thing, don’t make me miss one of the biggest performances of my life and fuck up another,” you told him coldly.

Wendy gave Jungkook one more glance before putting her hand on your shoulder and lightly pushing you down the hall.

“You okay?” She asked once you were out of ear range of him, taking your hand in hers.

“Yep, I’m just ready to get out there and perform,” you told her with a determined look on your face.

One of the stage managers came up to the two of you and informed you that you had 5 minutes before you were going to go on.

“I think that’s my cue to leave. You’re going to kill it out there! You have worked so long and so hard for this and I can’t express how proud I am of you. Now go out there and show Jungkook and the rest of the world how badass you are” She hyped you up as she pulled you into a hug.

“Thank you Wendy, I love you.”

“I love you too! Break a leg!” And with that she was gone.

Your heart began to beat loudly in your chest as you waited in the wings. You paced back and forth as your nerves grew bigger and bigger. Finally, you heard the intro music as your background dancer began dancing, signaling for you to enter the stage. You heard your fans scream as they saw you enter causing you to smile lightly. That smile faded as you got in position and began singing.

Did I catch your attention? You look like you lost your breath, huh

When I circle the room, you an owl, you gon’ twist your head

Don’t you come at me green with an attitude when my lips and my soles are red

If I leave you behind, you can look for the broken necks

No, no

‘Cause I’ve been here once or twice

Never worry ‘bout the eyes, come on

Don’t just stand there staring, honey

Try to move your feet

If you think they looking at you

They looking at me

I can make it nice and easy

I'ma take the lead

They ain’t even looking at you, baby

They looking at me

They looking at me

Yeah, yeah, they looking at me

May be young for a teacher, I’ll teach you what you don’t know

I could teach you the things that you wanna know

But I can’t give it up all at once, you would overdose

Don’t you bring any bull in the room tonight, it’s a whole new rodeo

It could be you and me, but you know that I’ll steal the show

Oh, yeah

'Cause I’ve been here once or twice

Never worry 'bout the eyes come on

Don’t just stand there staring, honey

Try to move your feet

If you think they looking at you

They looking at me

I can make it nice and easy

I'ma take the lead

They ain’t even looking at you, baby

They looking at me

They looking at me

No, no, no, no

Yeah, yeah, they looking at me

But they looking at me, babe

'Cause they looking at me, baby

hey

If I leave you behind, you can look for the broken necks

Don’t just stand there staring, honey

Try to move your feet

If you think they looking at you

They looking at me

I can make it nice and easy

I'ma take the lead

They ain’t even looking at you, baby

They looking at me

They looking at me

Yeah, yeah, they looking at me

But the truth is they looking at me

They looking at me

Once you were finished, the crowd went wild. You looked over to where your members were sitting as they screamed their lungs out causing you to laugh a little. You looked over to where bts were and they all were staring at Jungkook. The two of you made eye contact but he looked away, shaking his head. Suddenly he got up and began to walk away, clearly upset. You watched as Namjoon and Taehyung followed after him.

Leaving the stage you felt extremely proud of yourself. Not only did the fans seem to enjoy the song but your performance went off without any mistakes. In your head, that was the best performance you’ve ever done. You made a statement. You proved a point that at the end of the day, people can think they’re better than you but you know that’s far from the truth. You’re the queen and nobody can deny that. You know that the fans got the message and clearly the one person who needed to hear it most, got it too.

Link to song in fic

A/n: tell me why my petty ass wanted to be like “he got a slice of humble pie” 😭 This Shane drama is taking over my life.

MASTERLIST

[florianwirtz]

Tears - Anyone You’d Like

Warning: strong language

"Will we see us again? I really had a good time with you."

You blinked a few times confusedly before you answered the question with a plastered smile on your face.

"Of course, I'm texting you whenever I'm free, see you soon." You even had the decency to look back and wave until you ran to the bus stop, a sour expression on your face.

Another failed tinder date later, you found yourself at your best friend's couch with a glass of wine in your hand. Luckily, he always had an open ear for you whenever your day didn't go the way you wanted.

"He really spent the whole date talking about how fucking awesome he apparently is and managed to make everything about him. I swear I was that close to spilling the wine over the table so he could shut the fuck up for once."

Frustration was taking over you which made you finish your half-full glass in one go and your best friend only chuckled slightly while observing you silently. He never grew tired of listening to your failed date stories because the way you were able to retell stories and spilling all your emotions was just so hilarious.

“I told you these tinder dates will lead to nothing. You should give one of my teammates a chance, they're all lovely, I promise!” He suggested after you were finished with ranting and you only rolled your eyes at him.

“While I appreciate your lousy attempts of playing matchmaker, I already told you I don't want to date a footballer, I don't think I could handle being second choice to a freaking ball!” A short laugh escaped your mouth which made him laugh too, but you saw that he wasn't really listening anymore as he was busy scrolling through his socials.

To avoid awkward silence, you pretended to do the same as a sudden wave of sadness hit you. Because of course, he didn't understand why you were still accepting all these tinder dates when you were fully aware that this is definitely not the platform to find the love of your life. How could he know that you refused to go on dates with one of his teammates because you couldn't help but compare every single footballer to him.

Something deep inside you still somehow hoped that you'd end up with him. So you used these dates as a distraction, an excuse that you haven't found the right one yet.

And just as you thought about how naive and stupid your feelings were, the reason you felt silly went down the stairs.

"Hi you two! [Y/N], I didn't know you were coming!" She gave you her sweetest smile and you couldn't help but smile back. The hug she gave you felt warm and genuine and once again you just knew that she was the right one for him. How could you hate her when she never badmouthed you once for always showing up at your friend's house because you wanted to feel his presence near you.

Not even the miserable feeling in your stomach when she bent down to him and kissed his cheek softly which made both put their happiest faces on could tell you that you shouldn't be happy for them.

"Hi! Yes, but I was about to go, it's late." You answered her politely, ignoring the pang in your chest when you realised that they only had eyes for each other.

"Really? Let me drive you home then, it's late and you had a drink." She didn't even give you time to refuse and went searching for her car keys, leaving you and her boyfriend alone again.

"Thanks for having me and sorry for always barging in, she probably doesn't like it and I try not to do it so often anymore." You chuckled while holding him in your arms. Nothing made you feel more secure than being able to share physical contact with him while smelling his signature perfume.

"Stop saying that, you are always welcome. She knows how important you are to me. Have a safe ride home." He lightly brushed your cheek which made your whole body tremble and never were you happier than now that you could blame the burning shade of your face on the wine you had consumed.

You knew it was only a gesture of a trusted friend, yet it was all you could think about the whole ride home. Which is why you barely paid attention to what she talked about but she didn't seem to mind as she cluelessly continued talking. Only when she mentioned his name, you suddenly came back to reality.

"You ordered that cake for his birthday next week, right?"

"Yes, of course, the carrot cake from the bakery located in the neighbourhood he came from. It's gonna be delivered to your house on his day, it's all planned." You explained to her and saw her smiling while paying attention to the street.

"He's so lucky to have you, the amount of effort you put in his birthday is so heartwarming. I'm going to make sure he does the same for you."

She said it with such reassurance, for a moment, you weren't sure if you were able to hold this fake happy facade any longer. Because you still couldn't believe that she found all these sweet words for you when you were nothing but horrible to her by secretly wanting her boyfriend all to yourself. You were lucky that it was dark outside so she never noticed how a few tears escaped from your eyes. 

And the pain in your heart returned but this time not because of jealousy but because you realised how awful of a human being you are by not being able to let go of a dead crush.

A few days later you were invited to one of his games and it wasn't just any game but the decisive game of which team was going to the cup final.

Of course, you wore his name and number on your back but it didn't feel any special as he always had gifted you his kits whenever a new season started, it was a tradition since he went professional and for you as a football fan a great collector’s item.

She was also here and you were both twinning as she wore the same kit as you, only that hers was a man size, probably stolen from him. You even posted a pic on social media together, capturing it with “game day x” and expressions for the support of his team.

His family always managed to be present which was a rather rare occasion as they lived far away from his current residence. However, you knew from childhood days that they were always the proudest whenever they saw him play. And of course, they loved her, she was the perfect girlfriend anyone could ask for and she already told you that his family already made her feel like she was one of them. Life could be so perfect if you’d only see him as your best friend.

The game couldn't be any closer as both teams were equally strong, chances missed and converted from both sides and in the last 10 minutes, the scoreline showed was 1-1.

Both of you were nervously trembling, the tension whenever the opponent had the ball was unbearable and it seemed like it was going to extra time. But then a player of his team saw an opportunity and sprinted as his life depended on it, making the opponent's defenders look like fools. Finally, in front of the goal, he was crossing to his teammate who smashed the ball into the net with a beautiful header.

The crowd erupted, you and she in the family lounge hold each other tightly, screaming with joy and pride with the others in the room joining as well. And the few minutes of extra time after the deciding goal felt like an eternity, you and she never let go of each other's hands, too afraid that the opponent could turn this game around, but his team fought back until the liberating final whistle was heard.

You saw his team celebrating with each other, grinning like a Cheshire cat and also finding yourself in her arms again.

“I'm so proud of him, you have no idea.” She squeaked excitedly and you agreed with her, hugging her even tighter.

Finally, after all the post celebrations and interviews he came up to the family lounge, the people in this room applauding him with immense pride when they spotted their golden boy and he was greeting one after another.

Then he made his way to you and you just ran up to him and hugged him wordlessly, burying your head in his shoulder.

“You were fucking awesome there. You gonna win this trophy for sure now.”

“God, you are amazing. My supporter even when I accidentally smashed your mom’s vases back then. Thank you.”

You could feel your heartbeat so fast, you even thought you might pass out in a moment. This moment just felt too intense to end but it wasn't long until he slowly let go of you and you snapped back to reality.

And the ugly feeling of rejection came back when you saw him running up to her, kissing her passionately on the mouth and leaving a few other kisses on her face. They whispered sweet nothings to each other inaudible for everyone else and never noticing how they were lost in their own bubble. You stood on the side, no one noticing how you hold back a few tears in the back as they were busy in taking pictures of the two lovebirds.

Then his birthday came up. He still had training on this day but his coach assured him that there was no training the day after so he decided to celebrate in the evening after training.

So you found yourself in his house, helping his girlfriend to organise the party they had planned.

"Can I ask you something?" She suddenly asked you as you were in the process of decorating the table.

"Uh sure." Unsure what to expect, you both stopped arranging the glasses on the table as she sat down on the sofa, pointing to the place next to her.

"Do you think him and I are a good match?"

To say you were flabbergasted by her question would be an underestimation as you looked at her utterly aghast. What was she implying?

"What do you mean? Of course, you are?! You and he are perfect for each other and I bet you could ask anyone and they'd say the same."

She hesitated a bit before she answered, visibly uncertain about your statement.

"People on Instagram beg to differ."

She referred to the pictures he posted after the game he won. It contained a series of pictures including his family, you and her. "Finals! Always grateful for all of them supporting me."

You hadn't had a look at the comments before, but most of them were either about her or you. How you and he would be a much better fit, that you and he seemed to have more chemistry, simply based on two photos he had posted.

"Don't listen to them, sweetie. They don't see what we see every day and we know that you belong together." Comfortingly you put your hand on her shoulder while her expression still remained doubtful.

"But you still know him better than I ever will. After all, it was you who told me what he likes and how we should organise the party. It feels that after all these years, I still don't seem to know him like you do."

Unwilling to accept her self-doubt, you forcefully shook your head.

"It doesn't matter how well I know him. You are still his and his only. And while he loves me a lot, he loves me differently. He will always love you more."

How you managed to say this without bursting out into tears was beyond your understanding. Maybe if you told yourself this often enough, you'll start to accept it and maybe you were finally at the point where you should be able to move on.

However, when she gratefully took you in her arms, thanking you for trying to build her up, the relief in her voice obvious, you could feel your eyes watering. Because you knew she wouldn't even take a look at you if she knew what kind of feelings you were hiding.

The conversation was long over and forgotten when one of his mates finally brought him home, his house full of guests singing happy birthday to him as he entered the living room.

Obviously, he was left speechless at the number of people who had come to the party. He was even more surprised when he found out that it was you and her who organised all of it and immediately, he embraced you both at the same time, whispering "thank you my favourite girls".

Everyone was having a good time and even you could temporarily forget about your problems for a while. It was also an opportunity to get to know his teammates and you were positively surprised as most of them weren't too bad of a company.

It was all going well for you until he was asking for everyone's attention. No one really knew what was going on but he managed to make everyone surround him and his girlfriend, visibly wanting to announce something.

"First of all, I wanted to thank everyone for coming and making this day special. I feel extremely grateful that I know people like you who care so much about me."

Everyone in this room applauded him but stopping soon as he gave a signal that he wasn't finished talking.

As the applause died down, he took both hands of his girlfriend in his and looked her deeply in the eyes.

"I also wanna say special thanks to my girlfriend who always stuck by my side no matter what we've been through. I don't think I could ask for anyone better than you."

Suddenly he went down on his knee, everyone in this room holding their breath, knowing exactly what was coming while she held both of her hands in front of her mouth as he pulled out a box with a shiny ring out of his pocket.

"So I wanted to ask you if you would give me the honour and let me make you my wife?"

And she was now crying tears of joy, nodding with her head so much as if she had never been more sure of a decision.

Finally, the ring was on her finger and the people around the couple who were holding each other happily began to film and cheer with loud noise, celebrating and congratulating the couple in front of them.

You, on the other hand, stood like a brick wall at your place, not moving one bit as you still needed time to process what had happened a few minutes before.

Luckily for you, everyone's attention was given to the couple as no one noticed how you discreetly made your way out of the room.

You barely managed to reach the toilet and lock it up as you immediately fell down on your knees and finally, you let all the tears you had held back all the time streaming down your face.

You knew you should've expected it, you knew there never had been a chance in the first place, yet you couldn't help but feel heartbroken and alone. Because now he had made his definitive decision, he intended to spend the rest of his life with her.

And maybe this was your final call to ultimately move on from a love that was never meant to be, to finally let go of a person who was never yours in the first place.

Eventually, the tears stopped pouring and you took your time to sit on the floor for a few minutes, trying to regain your composure. Your make up was ruined by crying so you tried your best to make yourself look normal as much as possible. Right now, no one was supposed to notice your pain, later when you were home by yourself, you had enough time to let your true emotions show.

Carefully, you sneaked out of the bathroom and by the looks of it, no one had noticed your disappearance or breakdown. So you approached him with your brightest smile who was still surrounded by other people congratulating him. "My best friend is growing up and I can't believe he didn't tell me! Congrats on popping the question!" You took him in your arms as he hugged you happily back.

This time you broke the hug before you could feel anything more than you should.

Of course, he immediately noticed your face which was still red from the tears you had cried, making him look at you with a concerned face.

"Did you cry? Is everything alright?"

It wasn't easy to lie directly into his face as you still felt like you could burst out in tears at any minute but for his sake, you continued smiling.

"Of course I did, because I was so happy for you, idiot!" Playfully you smacked him on the shoulder and laughed which immediately infected him too.

"God, I'm so glad to have you."

And for some reason, his words didn't seem to affect you as much as they used to, you no longer felt like your heart could explode at any minute. Maybe these tears you had cried before were the first step of letting him go. Maybe these tears were necessary to get you through the process. Maybe when you saw him with her the next time, you will already have your happiness back.

Tell me who you imagined this with!

[jae-canikeepyou]

| butterflies | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: fluff

a/n: you guys request such cute content and i’m happy that you trust me to write for you 🤧 i don’t know if this is good enough but i really do hope you enjoy reading this oneshot! 💕~j.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

butterflies in your stomach.

your friends always told you about that certain feeling inside. it could happen in any situation though, but majority was with the person you like. often speaking it would either be out of happiness, excitement, nervousness, anxiety or whatever could make your stomach churn. in your previous relationship, you’ve experienced the first three. and the last one?

not yet but, you never thought you’d feel it now.

talk about wrong timing. your eyes trailed to the ground floor of the mall. the last person you wanted to see was your ex-boyfriend. he was leaning himself against a column, waiting for someone you assume was his new one. with the way how he treated you in a two-year long relationship, you despised his entire being and would scream on the spot to expose his cheatings on you. but you held yourself in, as you imagined how embarassing that would feel.

and today was supposedly your third year anniversary with him. that left your tongue a bitter aftertaste when a girl approached him and he opened his arms wide open like he used to do with you. it hurt and tore your heart into pieces and you wondered how you were easily replaced— when you did was to love him wholeheartedly.

thrills enveloped your body and you began to panic when he walked slowly with her to head up the escalator. meanwhile you stopped in your tracks at the opposite end, hesitant to step forward. all sorts of thoughts shot you like arrows; what should you do? have you moved on yet? what if you both made an eye contact?

crap.

jaehyun felt a soft tug yanking his denim jacket. it prevented him from walking further and that his heels stopped mid-way, creating a short obstacle in the crowd. “y/n what are you doing? we’re blocking people.” he said, turning around and had to lift his elbows slightly to see you.

you responded with sharp exhales that he swore was familiar. his lips then agape a little at the sight of you with your usual signature face whenever you sensed trouble. he looked over his shoulder, his eyes searching for whoever caused his best friend to make such a face.

he grabbed your arm and led you to the side so that he could have a proper conversation with you instead of bending down to hear your inaudible words. “look you gotta tell me what’s wrong. you’re making an ugly face, ugly.”

“your 9 o’clock. minhyuk’s there.” you said, eyes looking everywhere else and jaehyun took a quick glance; and double checked too see if it was true.

“oh then let’s go greet him-”

“n-no!” you hissed. “we fought again. and don’t ask why.” you lied.

jaehyun did his usual lifting of the brow in question. “again? do i have to make you both reconcile for the infinite time?”

you stayed silent, remembering how he was always the middle person to prevent you and minhyuk from fighting. he pulled you to head down the escalator and oh how you wanted to smack him. you pulled him back with force, eventually stopping him.

but he wasn’t having it.

the endless tug of war made each of your loose clothes more loose than before. people who witnessed the childish act probably concluded they saw idiots.

jaehyun didn’t show it but he was so close to flipping out based on tightness of his flattened lips. “you big baby. we’ll be late for the movie if you keep pulling me.” he grabbed to carry you like a stuffed animal he won at a carnival.

“put me down jae!” you continuously slapped his arm and managed to pinch his cheek, ending his evil smirk.

“fine.” he said, finally putting you down. he later pat your arms and dusted away possible dirt.

the act done by jaehyun earlier caused a slight diversion of your attention to your ex-boyfriend. you looked ahead to see him. yet again, panic showered over you. palms began sweating and it was the cold kind of feel.

you weren’t seeing things but you swore you had a milliseconds eye contact with the new girlfriend.

ugh what do i do?

from your view, it would take ten seconds to run into them approximately. given the long and slow escalator, you had little time to hide yourself. there was one idea in your head though, and it was crazy. really, really crazy.

jaehyun chuckled at your current state and brought out his phone to record you. he jolted after you sent his heart flying in shock with one sentence.

“don’t ask and just kiss me.”

“what?” he asked, completely frozen in his stance and felt your hands cupping his jaw.

you had to tiptoe to reach him. his hands held your waist and it seemed so natural that he deepened the kiss.

once you both reached the end, you took his cap and wore it out of embarrassment.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the golden hour beautifully shone at the sea’s horizon. if only you had the talent in art, you’d paint the sky everyday and compare to how different the ombrés were. jaehyun nudged you from behind, handing you an ice cream cone to cool your bodies from the sudden request and gesture.

you both went to the mall’s garden rooftop and decided to not watch the movie. it was a rom-com kind and there would definitely be kissing scenes. watching it with jaehyun would’ve been very awkward, especially after the kiss.

he sat down beside you, “how does it feel like to date someone?”

“really jae? you’re asking me? a person who recently broken up-” you cocked an eyebrow, using an elbow to lean on an elevated marbled landscape.

“i just wanna collect facts.” he shrugged. “and why didn’t you tell me about minhyuk before?”

tears welled your eyes. you trailed to the ice cream, chuckling how you were now eating to keep your mind occupied. you then asked yourself, why didn’t you tell jaehyun sooner? maybe showing up at his doorstep would give him the signal. it was actually his idea though, that when things ended with minhyuk, the first person you’d see was your best friend.

words couldn’t come out from your mouth, and you didn’t know why. silence was out of the dictionary with jaehyun. you both knew each other from the book cover, its contents and continuing chapters. you tilted your head upwards to prevent the tears from falling. remembering how minhyuk left a note wasn’t enough to convince you that all was over.

it wasn’t that jaehyun disliked him, but he knew the dude wouldn’t take you seriously. on the other hand he didn’t want to destroy the joy you had in your eyes whenever you would prep yourself for a date. he respected your personal life and would do anything to make you happy,

even if it hurt him inside.

jaehyun liked you for the longest time he could remember. seeing you break down before him had made him wrap you in his arms. “i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have asked.”

“it’s okay.” you pulled away from him. “what’s there to explain? i mean, he replaced me for someone he assumed was better and i think i can move on from that.” there was doubt in your voice and jaehyun noticed that than you did.

“you ‘think’? heck you should! y/n you deserve someone better. someone who could cheer you up with ice cream and hug you when you needed it the most-”

you giggles cut him off, and you ate the last bit of the cone. “did you just.. describe you?”

“and if i said yes? will you date me?” he noticed the blush on your cheeks and expressed his teasing eyes with a smoulder, lips puckered and brows furrowed high. “ah right, why did you pause?”

“i d-didn’t!” you waved your palms so you wouldn’t have to reason out further. “y-you asked me to d-date you when i-”

“you stuttered, hm? did you feel butterflies?” he attacked you with bickering words. he leaned in forward to smudge the ice cream just above his mouth onto yours.

“n-no i didn’t feel anything! ew go away!” you stopped him with your hands. “stop teasing me, ugly.”

“but this ugly..” he chewed on his last bit of cone as well, scooting closer to you. “..loves this ugly.” he rested his palms to support his weight onto the wooden bench, leaning in closer than he did earlier. his eyes boring into yours that you saw your own reflection.

you pinched his dimples, not believing what you just heard. “lies.”

jaehyun’s heart sank just a little at your cynicism. he had to make you realize he was— and still is in love with you. his head tilted to the side, the centimeters lessening between the two of you. “if i’m lying, i wouldn’t do this.”

he held your chin and closed in for a tender kiss. it was warm, sweet, and nothing you ever felt before. you stopped and looked down, where his lips now touched your forehead.

“and if i’m lying, i wouldn’t return the kiss when you kissed me.” he chuckled and sat back, leaving you alone in your own thoughts.

“that was just an act so minhyuk wouldn’t see me.” you fanned yourself from all sort of feelings jaehyun made you feel.

“but it wasn’t just an act for me.” jaehyun said in a genuine tone. “i really really love you y/n. and it’s more than being your best friend.”

this time he was holding your hand willingly, intertwining his fingers to capture yours. “but if i date you, i can’t help but feel like i’m giving you false hope in a relationship you wished to have.” you said. “jae, what if i couldn’t give you that?”

other than a best friend, jaehyun was a good listener. he’d open his ears to listen to your endless complaints and snotty cries. “that’s based on an ‘if’. why not give it a try?”

you turned to him at his crazy question. “what?”

“why not give us a try?” he smiled warmly and as much as you wanted to hide your smile, you eventually mirrored his. he always has a way with his words to melt your stone cold and stubborn heart.

there were butterflies in your stomach now. jaehyun made you feel all; anxiety for the relationship, nervousness for his possible actions, excitement for how things would go, and happiness for the treatment he had always done.

maybe things will be okay with your best friend. “o-okay.” you said softly.

jaehyun’s eyes widened at your stuttering word. he read the atmosphere a little tense, so he decided to play. “what? i couldn’t hear you.”

“i said okay!” you flushed red and covered your face. “you’re really mean. i feel like being your girlfriend will lead to more bickering and tease.”

“nah i wouldn’t do that.” he removed your hands to see you.

“oh well then, that’s great-”

“but i’ll do more of this. and this. and this-” he approached and gave a small kiss, followed by continuous peppers of kisses.

“jaehyun!” you landed a finger to his lips. “pda is still not my thing.”

“really?” he asked in disbelief but with a very mischievous voice. “you’re saying that after you kissed me in public first?” he took his bag and ran off, leaving you flabbergasted and your thoughts buffering at what was happening now.

well it seemed there’d still be the bickers and the tease.

“yah jung jaehyun! come back here!”