#but i have some comms im working on too rn

[brie-draws]

Hina and Riko Mero [ ガチ恋粘着獣 ] I've been sick for 2 weeks but been filling my time translating it for myself [I'm on chpt 6 rn]

[gotchibam]

Does anyone here draw in both desktop & mobile? I'm planning to get a galaxy tab at some point and since I don't really have any experience drawing on a (mobile) tablet, I'm curious abt how it feels to draw on one vs. drawing on pc w/ a graphic tablet 🤔

[jebiknights]

Sometimes you see stuff that's for YOUR ship and you're just like ... Everyone is allowed to have their own interpretation it's not a big deal

[zoppzoop]

GAAHAHHHHH

[oysterie]

13 hours of class over summer including chem lab

[luvsavos]

life kicks me in the ribs yet again: more than likely i won't be able to get all the money i need in time for the alatreon model, so. got excited for nothing :)

[sanchoyo]

ik i said i wanted to do at least 2-3 personal solo zines this year aside from the one i already put out but im having such a hard time deciding on a topic?? 'random art zine' or 'sketchbook zine' feel too random kadhfkj. and the only thing ive been MEGA into lately have been my own ocs but making a zine with them would feel weird..also very niche lmao

[adjobj]

i want to make an updated post, so hopefully traction can keep rolling..

hi, im rex, and my family and i are trying to escape roughly 18 years and counting of nonstop abuse via our horrible grandfather. i have a post going around about this. however, things have slowed considerably despite the circulating.

you can find our GFM with detailed information of our situation here: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-kasey-and-family-move-out-of-florida

i am also accepting kofi donos for things like survival money (groceries, other necessities like medication), as well as a goal specifically for funding a stronger laptop for work purposes to help speed up our escape: https://ko-fi.com/adjobj

in highly good news, my mom's insurance helped her get in with a highly regarded diabetes doctor ! he has a regimen he is recommending for her to try to help her bad heart + to help get her mobile again.

we really need to get the grocery order in particular ASAP ($100) for this to happen, but we dont want to dip into the crowdfund pool for this, as weve already had to do so for $200 to get her a new oxygen machine after my grandfather has repeatedly berated her until she has cried for her current one being ""too loud"".

i am just doing what i can to help rn until i can actually open comms up again. thank you. though i am technically closed, i am willing to do little pixels for $10; come ask about them, if interested. heres some examples:

[trashybugs]

hello everyone! one of my client canceled their comm slot so I have 1 slot open for my commission rn, here's some samples of my previous commission works too uwu

please check my Vgen link above if interested!

[outofthiisworld]

GET TO KNOW YOUR ADMIN !!

name: Boo! pronouns: She/They (no preference, i like both :3)  preferred comms: tumblr ims mostly! if we mesh well+spoken ooc a lot we can chat on discord too :) i uuh do tend to forget to check my discord messages outside of my webhooks however names of muse: Ophelia, Doc, Copycat and Father Necrosis rn! A few ✨secret-menu✨ muses/npc’s as well

experience in RP: been rp’ing since i was 13 so bout 14 yrs exp rn! (i say 10+ in my rules tho cause that’s one less number i have to change each birthday)— most of my experiences have been w/ a close knit group of buds that soon turned into 1+1 rp’ing with a bestie im still VERY close with :3c

i dabbled in online rp’ing around eeeeeehhh 2015ish but i certainly wasnt putting myself out there like i am now sdfsdfg

best experiences: the entirety of this blog tbh. a few bumps in the road and learning curves to get back into the groove of things, but ultimately i feel like a carved out a really excellent and chill lil’ corner on this site :”) special shoutouts to some really INCREDIBLE partners and buds that make rp’ing on here beyond delightful:

@pzfr is a phenomenal writer, a beyond thoughtful rp partner and perhaps a bit too powerful of a creative— personally if some horrific yet comedic demise should befall me then i trust full custody of doc & ophelia to him 100% HE GETS IT (don’t u worry i’ll live forever tho). For real though, there's such genuine love in the way he works with the genres that inspire him as well as with writing as a whole! @5mind GAAAARLIIIIIIIC. we continuously cook up dubious foods in the dms; our plots are forebodingly diabolical (affectionate) and [covering garlic's ears] i still plan to consume their brain for power. he’s got THE most creative and inspired never before seen characters on this side of the universe that i adore so so so much and tbh if you aren’t following her like…….bro be fr with me rn like why @riiese Mark’s writing legitimately inspires me. They are THE voice master dude. The way they weave words together feels right out of a fairytale with this whimsical magic to it that gets me lost in the moment!!! i can’t help but get swept up in their beautiful prose!!! @dynamoprotocol BRO lowkey i remember being shocked when I saw he followed me. From the writing, the care to detail, the art, Clarissa/Chance’s development, the worldbuilding, AND he’s CHILL AS FUCK??? and you wanna follow ME dude??? for real though, i cant sing enough high praises!! @natterghast i stumbled upon her by chance and sooooooo happy i did <33 their ocs absolutely captivated me, each one has this cozy cosmic horror vibe that im? obsessed with?? AND THE WAY SHE WRITES IS SO GORGEOUS AND FULL OF MEANING AND CARE THEY PUT IN AND [wrattling the bars in my enclosure]

there are so many more i can shout out but i will have to cap it here since this post has gotten ... so long and i am now so sleepy. Genuinely though, everyone I follow and get to see pop up on my dash both makes me day and inspires me as a creative each and every time!!!

pet peeves/dealbreakers: the biggest ones for me rn are like … needlessly aggressive ooc attitudes, be it towards anons, in rules, in posts— esp if someone is flaunting about being mean i uh. have fun i guess? not for me.

Condescending rules, especially those geared towards oc’s, might even result in an insta-block from me. (i promise it’s okay to just say ur selective overall and leave it at that).

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ): I generally like to lean more into light-hearted & comedic stuff, esp when first interacting but cus it’s fun! Once I get comfy with my rp buds tho i do loooooove to get into the meat n potatoes— the drama, the action, THE DRAMA!!! <- but a nice balance is important to me!

if everything is doom n’ gloom all the time without either a break, some sort of bitter-sweetness, and/or light at the end of the tunnel— then The Dread™ starts to feel too much for me :0 that being said … horror is … so much fun too <3

plot or memes: memes are a life savior esp when it comes to breaking the ice— i wouldn’t be cookin’ up like. any of the delectable plots i got brewing in the dms without em >:0

long or short replies: BOTH! i tend to naturally lean towards longer replies, moreso because i always have A Lot To Say™️ but i love goofing around with shorter stuff <3

best time to write: if i had my way it’d be an hour or two after i wake up in the morning and made myself my fancy energy drink + did my n.eopets dailies 💕 i try to make sure i get one day off like this each weekend it’s so lovely. Otherwise, i try not to stress about it too much and do what i can. i want my rp buds to know i genuinely dont mind waiting for replies or anything and i think it starts with how you hold yourself to that same degree too

are you like your muse?: ooooo aren’t we all in some way? it’s important to sprinkle some part or facet of YOU into them, especially ocs!

i will say, Doc is far closer alike to me versus anyone else on this blog, esp when it comes to values! he’s just far more gung-ho that i could ever have the energy to be tho. also i hope im not as stubborn as him 💀

i did give Ophelia my weird girl tendencies tho but cranked that shit up into MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!!!

tagged by: @pzfr

tagging: i uh. i think most of my mutuals already got tagged this SO if you see this and you havent........PLEASE do this and tag me weeheehee <3

[scover-va]

Made. A kofi look at me go. Um. Here’s the link. Job market is utter dogshit i mean complete horseshit rn. I have it in my bio there but u can send sketch reqs (or. Ig technically more accurately comms) there. I’ll probably figure out an actual comms sheet at some point but im bad with numbers and whatnot so this will work for now. Can also send fic/drabble reqs there if thats more ur style. Art reqs can be anything just know it wont be too complicated (obviously smth from the fandoms im in is easier tho i can work w/ stuff from other fandoms. And ocs if i get a ref. Idk how it would work just shoot a dm) and fic reqs are only fandoms im in bc i wont write for a media idk shit abt. Obviously. I thiiink thats it wahoo

[janiedean]

I know it's been a long time, but do you plan on writing Sandor's pov of the Heart Thing series? I'm poor, so I won't commission the fic, but I wanted to at least know how you think he'd deal with it (ex, would he hide and try to ignore it, would he try to be a better person, whisper almost-kind words to it when Sansa is sad?)

hey anon, first of all thank you so much for the kind words and please no need to commission anything like I'm just glad people still remember it T_T

that said with answers for both your questions:

yes I do plan on writing that but when it happens is... up in the air because meh like I'm trying to not sound whiny about it but if it wasn't clear from my less than stellar production lately my mental health has been completely down the drain lately and as it is rn I'm finding it extremely hard to put words together unless I have an extremely hard deadline and as it is I'm trying to finish a bunch of comms that I started but I'm like really struggling with liking anything that I write so tldr: yes but it could be three months from now and it could be next year, sure af I hope it's sooner rather than later because I really don't relish any of this but eh T_T

how he'd deal with having it: first time it happens (which would be after they get together which like.. he can't actually deny it's A Thing yknow she got his so) he thinks he someone went on a bender and forgot even if he tried to cut down on the drinking and then he's like oh god nope it's really here what the fuck and immediately gives it back to her like IM NOT WORTHY HERE, she's like yeah okay sure but I don't think it's gonna end here (she's fine with it), the second time he gets it is when she's sad for some reason and she's not nearby so he has to take care of it and actually worry about it and he's like god what do I do and just keeps it close and tries to not make anyone notice, then it happens again when something bad happens to her and she's not immediately nearby and as you said he tries to tell it something nice which for his standards would be weird but it actually works because she actually feels better and then she's all smug when she tells him and he's like wait what are you fucking kidding me

and she's like sure I'm not :DDDDDDDD

so pattern he always gets it when she's sad or down or has dealt with crappy people and so on and at some point he just embraces it like yknow what I denied it for ages but it makes no sense that I should now oKAY FINE I'M NOT UNWORTHY OF THAT

sansa is just :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD for the entire next month and robb's like did you just propose her or what NOT THAT I'D SAY NO AND NOT LIKE SHE DOESN'T WANT IT sandor is like maaaybe that's uh for another time MAYBE

he probably springs the maaaybe weee should make it official thing not long later tho

robb is just extremely happy of how he matchmade half of this union XD

ngl there were things I wanted to do in that verse including the throbb fic and sansa meeting brienne like you were my role model too but eh as stated at this point I'll be just glad if I manage to finish my commission backlog and/or literally anything that won't feel like crap after five lines so i can't guarantee it's happening at any point soon, sorry anon T_T

[baylardo]

Tardi had me heckin BRAINWORMIN over future threshold au kid stuff mainly surrounding that amelia arc hohgohhioioigh REALLY MESSY THOUGHTS IM EXPANDING ON FROM MY BULLETED THOUGHTS THIS MORNING HAHA. THIS IS GONNA BE RLLY LONG IM PROBABLY GONNA JUST COPY AND PASTE SOME THINGS FROM OUR CONVO LOLOL

in re: what philippa is doing prior to the arc: just lil science missions. i wanna say shes done some triage before, so shes probably been in a warzone as a field medic by this point. i dont think shed be necessarily choosing short term missions for the sake of hearing news about her sister, i think shed do what shes assigned? (not really sure how it works tbH) and its more of an intuitive feeling just kinda eating at her. I DONT HAVE A NAME FOR THE SHIP(s), nothing too important or flashy. i dont think shed work on galaxy class or w/e the family ships are.

in re: time duration of things in general for the arc???: current influencers are like:::::::: its not enough time to where starfleet's concerned to go look for them in the DQ, but they havent contacted starfleet in a while (maybe the mission called for "comm silence") but regardless, it doesnt sit well with philippa. it also has to be enough time for amelia's ship to like, get out to the DQ for their mission, for things to go wrong, for her to take charge, for the ship to MAYBE??? be destroyed (hmmm put a pin here maybe theyll need the ship to transport crew……), for the crew to get separated/captured/enslaved/killed, for amelia to try and survive on her own, for her to get captured by the Kazon and eventually rise in status to command alongside Sessen,,,, develop their friendship,,,,, they seem a little friendship platonic with benefits to me,,, might change my mind on that idk. ANYWAY enough time for their Kazon sect to fall apart/be defeated, sessen to die, have a few months of amelia nomadically wandering the DQ again and be slightly pregnant (can be four months, can be less if u wanna heck w/ gestation) my brain wants to guess around a year???, just cuz i dont wanna waste too much time on this arc when i gotta shove philippa into command track and CAPTAIN. and it'd be like another year of philippa searching for her by the time theyre reunited.

Maje name for Amelia? not sure if id wanna do that or not, seems like something she'd adopt and then disinherit when she loses everything she built with the Kazon sect her and Sessen were in

Jace was the only one philippa confided in about leaving to go find her sister. given she's an experimental shuttle test pilot we were thinking she'd help Philippa steal a confidential secret spacecraft Starfleet's been making. :) Not super sure what all is quirky and secret and special about it rn but ITS SOMETHIN.

Not super sure what happens to the rest of Amelia’s starship crew? If any of them are found, how do they get home? PUTTING A PIN IN THAT ONE, i see a few possibilities but nothing super uuuuuh Solid haha. YEAH I DONT KNOW HOW EXACTLY IM GONNA GO ABOUT THE CREW,,,,, but i figure thats probably A GOAL TO HAVE. i figure for sure amelia's captain is dead and it put her in that command position and she didnt like it and everything went amuck under her leadership blah blah blah i was thinking like, maybe if philippa has this experimental spacecraft this whole time, maybe she ends up using that, giving it to the crew to get home at some point,,,, but IM NOT SURE, seems like things could get overpopulated rather quickly, i also figure a lot of them are dead,,,,,,,,,,,,, id have to think about what weird quirky dangerous things you could do with a classified starfleet ship. ANOTHER IDEA is that maybe Amelia's crew's starship is crashlanded somewhere, and like, its abandoned, but as Philippa and Ed find more crew members, they start getting more and more people to work on repairing the ship??? maybe they use the lil craft Philippa stole to get around, but most of them are on this crummy planet working on the ship while Philippa and Ed are out searching for more of them??? i dunno haha.

in re: how Ed meets up with Philippa out in the DQ: one idea id had was maybe theyd meet in an alien bazaar or something, Philippa getting into trouble because shes secretly carrying a starfleet comm badge to communicate and gets captured or something bc the locals hate Voyager, Ed gets her out and they escape together.

Amelia finding out she’s pregnant while she’s still with the Kazon and Sessen, just ‘cause I think they’d talk about raising baby by Kazon standards and tradition and talk about the importance of names. I think "Sessen" would have been the name Seska gave him when he was born and then he kept it rather than earning an adult name for himself, Amelia has a weird history with her name as well. She’s nervous about raising their son here, but buries those fears underneath the assurance that they’re together.

I was thinking that in the time after Amelia loses Sessen and escapes the other Kazon sects and everything that she'd kinda just drift from place to place trying to survive making ends meet doing weird jobs and trying to stay hidden. Philippa and Ed find Amelia temporarily living on a planet or in a cluster of asteroids as a space racer maybe? She’s like a little visibly preggers…

philippa midwifing for her sister as a field medic who hasnt delivered a baby but she like Kinda knows what shes doing

Maybe they have to find the rest of the lost crew, takes long enough for Amelia to have her baby and Philippa to midwife and everything?

i was yearning thinking about how likeeee theyd still be mad at each other over what all has transpired and probably are fighting while Amelia's like mid-labor lol. she has a weird lil alien boy that kathryn ends up ADORING and smothering a lot as his grandmother haha. im not really sure how it would transpire,,,, but its got me pondering today if maybe philippa convinces her to come home bc of her lil babyyyy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like theyre out in the delta quadrant and they both have their own little damages and hurts from their shared childhood spent out in this here and just being like "this is no place to raise a child, this isnt our home" or SOMETHING but IM NOT SURE ON THAT ONE only cuz obviously ppl DO raise their kids in the DQ lololol,,,,,,,,,,, PUT A PIN IN IT

Amelia's baby name Sekh? Maybe Sek… dont want anything directly connected to Amelia's family.

in re: how old they all are during this arc lmao::::: idk how early you can make lieutenant commander tbH id revolve this whole plot realistically around that bc my current idea has it that its her first time "commanding" a ship and things go badly and she chooses to remain lost and not try and find a way home.

Amelia still wears her “war trophy” feathers, maybe one of them is Sessen’s

in re: Ed's thoughts about Suspiria dying::: i think Ed has a very unique perspective on life and death, going around studying other cultures' religions, i think both him and her would have an understanding and acceptance of things by the end of their time together. like suspiria's EFFECTIVELY the last of her kind; string theory ends with all of the Nacene "ascending" and Suspiria is presumed dead so shes not there the entire book. and LIKE, my idea with that is just that shes unknowingly searching for her people to no avail the whole time. :^) anyway Ed and Suspiria's WHOLE THING is finding weird little alien short term solutions to help keep Suspiria alive so she can return and replenish herself in the nacene realm Exosia,,, which unbeknownst to her is impossible now hohoho :3c I DIGRESS THOUGH ed's perspective on it likeeeeee i think he'd miss her but also be happy for her in a weird way that she was finally ready to move on from grasping onto life and all that. :^) dark kermit me wants to have her die protecting/saving Amelia's hypothetical baby boy but I DUNNOOOOOOOO hehe :3

Philippa and Amelia inevitably returning home to Starfleet with the remaining crew members of Amelia’s ship. Starfleet pardons Philippa for stealing a classified experimental shuttle (that Jace helped her steal) maybe Amelia (and Philippa?) is/are offered a promotion? Amelia ends up declining and resigning from Starfleet, maybe Philippa gets promoted to Lieutenant? Starfleet presumes it was more of Amelia’s doing in getting her crew home. :( Amelia corrects the error :)

[sojrner-fishsticcc]

new hyperfixation girls!!!

okokok this is a lil weird but its like midight rn and i am HYPED AS FUCK!!!!! a while back i got really into fursuit stuff, like i was absolutely obsessed with it n i really wanted to make one. i finally went and bought a few of the materials - a big roll of foam, hot glue, sewing stuff, n then i like totally stressed myself out about it and dropped it entirely :\ that sucked, and it made me pretty sad for a while, but a few months have passed and its back! so im back at it, but this time im trying to be smarter abt it. i went into fursuit stuff with absolutely NO experience with sewing, modeling stuff irl, basically anything that would be important, and id be messing with expensive materials so uh. it was a bad idea. and i tried to do everything at once which fucked with me cos it was just too much work.

but this time i think i have a better idea! i really want to start simple, i plan on eventually making a mini partial, so head paws n maybe a tail. and im starting out as small as i can with just making a cardboard box head. like what cuptoast made to cover their face irl! just a box, stuff added onto it, im going specifically for just cardboard with sharpie and beige masking tape accents (going for both style AND funcionality!) so its going to be a lot simpler. its going to be a fun little experience to just practice making... things, in real life. what i plan on doing is kinda using this as a testbed. i love this project, its cool n i love it, but i want it to still be simple so if i fuck something up i can make it again and replace the parts. and slowly i want to ship-of-theseus her into a full head! im starting with just flat cardboard bits, so a box with flat ears and some floof n stuff, but i slowly want to modify her and swap out parts as individual projects. like at some point, i want to swap the basic drawn-on eyes for full on fursuit follow-mes, and add some foam padding to bits to slowly shape her out. its gonna be fun to build on her over the course of weeks or months, i even made a lil project name and badge for this! because of course i did :3. im calling it project rock salt because its gonna be of my oc salt, but i made a tweaked version of her design im calling "rock salt" because its more adapted to fursuit stuff. so floofier, no clothing items, not as complicated. and i thought of a really cute lil slogan of "foam, fur and faith" for it because i rlly like it. its nice, its going to be fun to learn all these craft skills.

ill try to update this (just kinda for myself, i really like just documenting this) as i add parts and upgrade her. hopefully the base box will be done this weekend! whichll just be the base parts, markers and tape. not doing eyeholes for seeing or padding for making her fit my head, just going to go as simple as i can, those bits can come later. also most of the money from my comms and models will go to her for buying materials for upgrades! because. i have a decent source of income from those now. so i can do stuff like this. so uh. thank you strange internet people :3 i promise ill pick back up on comms soon but i have finals next week so stuff is a lil hectic irl, and i dont want to commit to any stuff dealing with real money cos im anxious abt that. ill probably work on the box for the next while because its a super cool little project im happy to have picked up.

so ya! thats it for tonight! gonna post boxhead progress as i make stuff, but rn its just some basic sketching on cardboard, so there isnt much to show. ill share my scratchy stuff as it comes out but for now goodnight weird internet people! love you all!

[taffyforever]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ HAPPY JUNE, DUNCIES !!!! ヾ(˵ •̀ ᴗ •́ ˵ )

happy summer, happy pride month, and a happy afternoon from me to you, duncies !! welcome to my BRAND NEW taffyblog !!!!!! i told yall i would do it and here i am !!!! ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

as my first order of taffyblog business, i encourage you to look around the site ! i havent edited tumblr html in ages so it was super fun going back to my roots for this project ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ you may notice a... new face in that header..... i didnt want to go thru the effort of creating 2 headers for when i redebut, so congrats ! you get a sneak peek at some new art for the new design ૮(˶˃ᆺ˂˶)

i need to make a dedicated tweet for it, but my comms are very open rn !! if you're looking for a last minute summer outfit, or a very early winter outfit, i'm your gal ! of course my strengths lie in gyaru and similar fashions, but ive done anywhere between elegant seamstress to gothic vampire. send an ask here or dm on twitter/discord if you'd like to comm me or discuss any other services (illust, reactive png, etc) (๑>ᴗ<๑)ぐ〜♡

aight, business out of the way. how have you been, duncies ? (seriously, send me an ask and let me know !) i miss yall a lot, but i know im making the right decision being on hiatus. there's been some recent developments in my life that are making things a lot nicer for me, so i'm doing very well as of late. my physical health is pretty good ! isnt it crazy how when you take medication it makes u feel better lol. i am scared for the summer, as last year's heat wave was a major factor in me getting as sick as i did. i do have air conditioning now ! so hopefully things will be a lot easier. my mental health is also better, though i still need to take many steps in ensuring the best for myself. like, im good now, but im not set forever just yet. we work hard one day at a time 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

ultrakill news: i've spent a loooottttt of free time cybergrinding......... like i might just guerilla soon because ive gotten much better since last you've seen. marksman my beloved im coinpilled now <3 i also got a p rank in clair de lune ! (haven't bothered to try the other levels yet i love cybergrind too much)

i have no geoguessr news that game is still as ass as ever </3 still love her tho (✿˶•ᵕ•)♡(• ᵕ •˶)

redebut is still set for august 25th ! very very excited to come back more cracked than ever ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ if you'd like to support me until then, follow my twitch if you havent yet ! you can also support me financially (IF YOU ARE IN A GOOD SPACE TO DO SO) by commissioning me or sending me a gift from my throne ! i am reworking my tipping page, so tips/donos are currently unavailable. i would heavily appreciate anything, but it is in no way necessary. you reading this and supporting me is enough <3 o(⸝⸝✦ᗜ✦⸝⸝)☆

thank you duncies for everything !!!! ⋆˚✿˖° i'll be updating this blog every so often before my redebut to keep yall posted on anything cool in my life. i really appreciate all of you for being here for me. i'm very excited for my return ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻) !!!!!!! ♡ ༘*. stay tuned on twitter for some rebrand changes (❀❛ ֊ ❛„)ಇ

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF BE KIND TO OTHERS KEEP IT P.L.U.R. ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝

[soliyl]

im going to be closing my comms indefinitely

in the past year, ive drawn about five times (forgot to post them here lol, i will tomorrow). this isn’t super uncommon, ive been pretty bad about drawing consistently for awhile now. i think a big part of the problem is the fact that ive had comms open. i first opened them in 2016 (jfc) and ive steadily drawn less and less frequently since then.

even though literally no one ever commed me (besides a couple friends, and in 7 years... sheesh), just having them open put me in this mindset toward my art. it had to be “marketable.” it had to be good enough for someone to see and say “i want to spend money and get something similar.” i haven’t drawn something just to draw in a really long time. everything i make, it has to be to a certain standard. it has to be worth something.

it stopped being fun. i stopped drawing for fun.

im like, in desperate need of money, too. im in a really bad spot in my life and doing comms for some cash would be great. but when i think about it, i don’t even want to do comms. if someone genuinely tried to commission me rn i would not enjoy it, even if their request is fine. i hate the idea of forcing myself to monetize what used to be a hobby. i hate the idea of anxiously working on it and being unsure if im making it worth the customer’s dollar. i seriously just want to like art again. i want to sketch again, fuck’s sake. i literally don’t sketch anymore, i try to make a polished product right away every time.

the decline in art frequency became more steep when i started posting on twitter, too. posting on multiple platforms, desperately trying to get attention. spending hours and hours on each piece and only getting a few likes here and there. disappointed the algorithm didn’t favor me, disappointed in my art for not being good enough to catch the appreciation i craved.

im going to go back to using tumblr as an archive for my art. i’ll keep tossing it up on twitter, too, just because i participate in xiv art parties sometimes. but im done trying to market myself. i don’t want to claw my way past other people all screaming “look at me!” and also be saying “please look at me.” from now on im just going to draw when i feel like it. if it sucks, that’s fine, who cares? im not trying to sell myself anymore.