#but i have never seen any post about this fucking font

[totentnz]

i hate this font so much I Can't Read it

[silentglassbreak]

I usually don't so this, but since you posted it not so long ago, are the requests still open? And if so, can I ask for meeting Noah after a show, talking about fantasies and maybe some vampire role-playing? But also lots of fluff after because he's a good top. My name's Maggie and my most prominent features are that I am short, I wear glasses and I have dark curly hair.

Alrighty, let's just get right into this one, because there is truly no time to waste.

After Writing Notes: Baby, I am so sorry. I have no clue how we got here...but here we are? Once again, we went a lil off prompt, so I apologize if it wasn't exactly what you were looking for? I hope you enjoy regardless! Just a heads up, this is -BY FAR- the darkest one I've written so far.

Rating: Explicit AF

Warnings: smut, kink, blood play, roleplay, blood...blood...blood, horror themes, light BDSM (choking and biting)

Die For You

February 14th, 2024.

Valentine’s Day is the bane of my existence. I was so tired of the patrons, the demanding orders, and - mostly - the couples. It was vomit-inducing. Did my recent breakup contribute to the way I was feeling?

Sure. Probably.

Did it change the fact that I was in the foulest mood imaginable?

Not in the slightest.

I leaned my head against the brick wall of the building, my break slowly waning, signaling I was due to go back in and finish the last two hours of this God forsaken shift. Being a waitress had no perks. None.

Instead, it came with cons that I had to endure in order to pay my bills.

“Hanging in there, Maggie?”

I sighed and turned to the door, hearing Alexa’s breathless voice. She was certainly struggling in there without me.

“Yeah, just getting some air. I’ll be in there in less than five.”

She nodded and stepped out into the cool evening air. She pulled a cigarette from her pack, lighting it between her lips.

“Have you seen the announcement on Insta?”

I rolled my head to the side to glance at her. “What announcement?”

She smirked, pulling her phone from her back pocket and opening the app, handing it to me.

The poster was on the Black Veil Brides page. It was blood red, with bright white font.

BLOOD BATH

October 31st, 2024

Kia Forum

BRING ME THE HORIZON

FALLING IN REVERSE

BLACK VEIL BRIDES

BAD OMENS

ICE NINE KILLS

THE FIVE BIGGEST BANDS OF METAL

ONE NIGHT ONLY

TICKETS SELLING FAST

My brain almost didn’t register what I was seeing.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” My eyes were blown out as I looked up at Alex.

“Nope. Tickets are $850 a piece, I checked.”

I groaned, tossing my head back. “I could never afford that, let alone before it sells out.”

Alexa scoffed, sucking in the smoke of her cigarette. “You’re hilarious. I just wanted to make sure you’d want to go.” She snatched her phone back from me.

“What?” I quirked an eyebrow at her.

“I have two tickets.”

My heart fell into my stomach. “E-fucking-xcuse me?”

She cackled. “Who else would I take? I’ve got a savings for a reason, right?”

My jaw was hanging open. “Alex, that’s insane. That’s $1,700!”

“$1,896, actually. Including taxes and fees.”

“That’s insane!” I repeated.

“When are we ever going to get to see all of those bands at once? It’s obviously some kind of crazy event. Can you imagine the crossovers we’re going to see? The theatrics!” I couldn’t speak, I was too stunned. “Plus,” She dropped her spent smoke and stomped on it. “I figured you needed some cheering up today. I know Bad Omens is your favorite.”

I could not physically restrain myself any longer, throwing myself at her and wrapping my arms around her shoulders.

“You’re the best fucking human being alive, you know that?!” I peppered kisses on her cheeks, making her squirm.

“Yes, yes, I’m aware.” She wiped my smeared lip gloss off her face.

She stalked back to the door, pulling the handle. “Now let’s finish this bullshit, so we can go celebrate. You’re buying.”

October 31st, 2024

The line to get in was impossibly long, so Alex and I were sat on the ground, chatting about the songs we were excited to hear, and who we were most excited to see.

“Spencer is the actual love of my life, and I cannot wait to see his fucking face.” She gushed.

I smiled. “Oh, don’t I know. But Andy? Ugh, how fucking mouthwatering.”

The doors would open shortly, so we stood, and promptly filed our way in. The venue was huge. We both agreed we would not be drinking, figuring we had a long time to stand and would end up exhausted.

We opted to grab two water bottles from the bar and head to the GA floor. We were early, luckily, and managed to grab a spot up at the rails.

Waiting nearly an hour, the lights finally came down, and the crowd erupted. Alexa was absolutely feral, listening to the opening of Rainy Day playing. When Spencer bounded onstage, full suit attire, and blade in his hand, she nearly jumped the rails.

As he passed us near the stage, I noticed something. I tapped Alex’s arm and she leaned her head down to hear me.

“He’s wearing fangs!” I shouted. She glanced up and looked, seeing the same.

Her eyes rolled as she licked her bottom lip. “Fucking bite me, Daddy.” She groaned, and I bursted with laughter.

She was so unhinged.

Ice Nine Kills finished their set with Welcome to Horrorwood, sending blood red confetti into the air, before gracefully stepping off the stage. During the set I had noticed a few things that almost seemed…off?

First of all, it wasn’t just Spencer with fangs. It was the entire band. Being as close as we were, I could see the shiny white fangs exposed every so often when they’d open their mouths to sing. These weren’t cheap, Amazon pop-ins either. They were convincing. If I hadn’t known better, I’d have sworn that they were their actual teeth, filed down to sharp points. It was interesting.

As well, everyone in the band seemed to have a looming presence tonight. It was so difficult to explain, but it just as if they weren’t just looking at the crowd, but like they were searching it. Looking for something specific, with pointed stares and glaring smiles. It ran a chill up my spine when Spencer made direct eye contact with Alexa for a full minute while singing Hip To Be Scared. It was as if he was looking at a meal.

She ate it up, as expected.

The next set, however, was Bad Omens, and I could not have been more excited.

I had seen them twice before, and their Setlist didn’t stray much, so I was actually shocked when the usual Loading Screen didn’t show, and the opening to Artificial Suicide didn’t begin.

Instead, the opening song was Blood. That was so odd. I didn’t think they even performed this song. The crowd loved it, however.

They still started in all ski masks, and removed them for the next track - Like A Villain.

During the chorus, I was singing and swaying, giving my full attention, but stopped as soon as Noah moved close enough that I could see it.

He was also wearing fangs. My eyes darted to Jolly, who was easiest to see from where I stood. He licked his lips and, as I suspected, there they were - sharp and white.

Alexa seemed to also notice this, tapping me to lean in. “It’s called Blood Bath, so it must be a vampire themed show for Halloween.”

I nodded, because that seemed legitimate.

But still…

I expected that out of Ice Nine or Black Veil Brides. Hell, Oli Sykes actually had fangs.

But Bad Omens?

They weren’t as theatrical. I was surprised they had agreed.

However, I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt eyes on me, and my attention was pulled back to the stage. A pair of deep, nearly black eyes were staring at me.

The song had changed, and we were on Nowhere To Go. And he was staring at me.

No, not at me. INTO me. Something in my soul felt exposed, as if I had shown up to this show nude.

I couldn’t break eye contact. I was caught between being starstruck, and immensely terrified. His lips were turned up in the slightest of smiles.

“Are you ready?”

I swallowed hard.

“I’m in the driver’s seat now.”

He finally broke his gaze, headbanging between screams.

Once I was released, I inhaled a sharp breath, turning my back to the stage. Alexa noticed as I crouched down, breathing hard.

“Babe?!” She bent down next to me. “Are you okay?”

I shook my head. “It’s too hot in this crowd, I’ve got to go.”

She got down to my eye level. “Maggie, you want to leave during Bad Omens?!”

I nodded feverishly, my dark curls sticking to my neck. Despite being sweaty, I had a cold chill climbing up my spine.

“I’m going to have a panic attack. I need a break.”

Maggie nodded, looking solemn. “Okay, let’s go.”

I stopped her, grabbing her arm. “No, you stay here. Save our spot. I’m going to go get some air, and I’ll be back.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You’re sure?”

I stood up, adjusting my shirt that had bunched up at my waist, and pulled my glasses on top of my head.

“Yeah, I’ll be back after their set.”

She sighed, but hugged me and told me to be careful.

I pressed my way through the crowd, not chancing another glance at the stage, despite feeling the eyes on my back.

-

The evening air was cool, in the fifty-degree range. I worried my sweatshirt with my fingers, feeling the air pull in and out of my lungs.

I had slipped out of the side entrance to the smoking area. I ducked under the ropes and to the back of the building to be alone. The tour buses were back in this area, but I paid it no attention, working hard at calming my nerves.

I had been out here for at least forty-five minutes. I could hear the music inside, and knew Bad Omens’ set had been over now for about five minutes. Figuring it was now a good time to make my way back to Alex, I pushed back into the building, seeing the crowd had not moved much.

I had tried to enter at several different points, but the bodies were condensed so tight, and unwilling to give up their spots. After fifteen minutes of trying, I growled and pulled my phone out, tapping Alexa’s name.

When she answered the phone, she shouted. “Hey! Where are you?”

“I can’t get back up there! No one is letting me through!”

She groaned. “Fuck! Okay, I’ll come out.”

“No! Don’t do that! Black Veil Brides is next! You cannot miss that!”

She went quiet for a second. “Maggie, I don’t want you to be alone.”

I stepped back outside so I could hear better. “I’ll be fine. I’ll watch the crowd to see if I can make it back in later.”

“You’re sure? Cause I will leave right fucking now. You know you’re more important.”

“Babe, you spent almost all of your savings on this. I’m not ruining it for you. I can see from back here.”

“Promise?”

I smiled. “I promise.”

Electing to stay outside a while, I sat on the curb behind the building, going through the photos and video I captured of Ice Nine Kills’ set. I managed to catch Spencer staring at Alex on camera, which I promptly sent her.

She responded quickly.

Alexa: OMFG HE’S IN LOVE WITH ME

I giggled, shaking my head at her response. Going back to my photo album, I sat watching the videos when I heard Black Veil Brides start.

Bleeders was the first song. Fitting.

Alexa: Dude…Andy’s wearing fangs too. It’s definitely a theme.

Me: Love it.

The music was so loud that I hadn’t heard the footsteps behind me.

“Excuse me?” Startled, I jumped up, turning around.

An impossibly tall, hooded man stood, hands in front of him, eyebrows raised.

It took me about three seconds to register who it was, and my mouth fell open.

“Are you okay?”

Noah fucking Sebastian.

I was caught between stunned, ecstatic, and horrified. He had such a soft look on his face. He looked immensely different than he did on stage. He wore black joggers with his own logo on them, a plain black hoodie, and a black baseball cap.

“Wh-“ My voice shorted, so I cleared my throat. “What?”

He smirked slightly. “Are you okay? I remember you from the crowd, and I saw you leave. I almost stopped the set when I saw you crouch down.”

I was floored. He noticed that? I knew he saw me, but Jesus Christ, I didn’t think he saw me?!

“Yeah, I, uh…” I stammered. “I just got really hot. The pyrotechnics and all.”

He nodded, chancing a step toward me. “You sure? You look pretty pale.”

Fantastic. Not only did I leave early during his performance - which he fucking saw - but I also looked fucking peaked at the same time.

I forced a calm smile. “Yeah, I’m good, promise.”

He seemed satisfied with that, putting his hands in his pockets. “Did I freak you out? When I stared at you?”

That was on purpose?!

I didn’t get a chance to answer. “I just perform better sometimes when I have something to focus on.”

I was bewildered, my eyebrows knitting together. “And that something was me?”

He smiled, a warm expression. “I guess so.”

“Why?” I couldn’t stop it from falling out of my mouth. Did it matter?

He shrugged his shoulders. “I liked your face.”

That’s a really strange answer.

“Okay?” I shifted one foot to another, not sure what to say or how to act.

“Why aren’t you watching the show?”

I sighed, moving back to the curb, deciding to sit back down. He made quick work of doing the same, sitting about a foot to my right.

“My best friend is up there. I couldn’t get back in to where she is. I tried.”

He nodded. “Ah.” His hands still in his pockets and knees bouncing rhythmically, he glanced around.

“Well, I’m going to watch from the balcony. Want to join?”

My heart rate sped up, screeching in my chest. His lip twitched at the same time, which was ironic.

“I,” My brain was misfiring, but I knew better. “I can’t.”

His eyes almost fell, his expression turning nearly…sad? “Oh?”

“I can’t leave Alex. I promised I’d make it back to her at some point.”

“You can bring her if you want.”

My mind was short circuiting. This couldn’t be fucking happening.

“I, uh, don’t know.” Something was too weird. This didn’t just happen. “I really shouldn’t.”

He nodded, pursing his lips. “No worries.” He stood up, stretching his arms over his head. “If you change your mind, I’m going up before Oli’s set. I’ll be around.”

With that, he turned around, and took a few steps. He spun back around and raised an eyebrow at me.

“I didn’t catch your name.”

“Maggie.”

He smiled. “See you later, Maggie.”

-

Me: I NEED TO FUCKING SPEAK TO YOU IMMEDIATELY.

Alexa: What level urgency? They’re playing In The End.

Me: B L A C K.

Alexa: OH FUCK IM ON MY WAY.

Alexa and I were regular show goers, so we had code we used.

Urgent situations were assigned a color.

Green: Good to go. Nothing to worry about.

Yellow: Shit’s getting weird. We need to keep eyes open.

Red: Urgent. Get to me ASAP. Serious situation.

Black: Get here now. Highest level priority.

Alexa came barreling out of the door and ran toward me, out of breath. “Are you okay? I got a knife in my boot that they didn’t take. I can stab someone!”

I grabbed her shoulders. “I’m fine!”

She stopped abruptly, narrowing her eyes. “What? Then why the urgency? I missed the end of the set!”

“I met Noah Sebastian.”

Her face deadpanned. “I beg your finest pardon?!”

I just nodded. “Out here. He remembered me from the crowd.”

“Are you fucking with me? Cause Maggie, I love you, but I’ll punch you right here, right now if you’re lying.”

“There’s no need for violence. She isn’t lying.”

Both of us snapped our necks to our left, the hooded figure stepping out from behind one of the buses. Noah came into view, hands still in his pockets.

“Nice to meet you, Alex.”

She visibly reeled, a shrill screech leaving her mouth.

“Holy fuck! It’s actually him!”

I giggled, glancing back at Noah, whose eyes were on me again. I straightened my spine, feeling that same fear sinking in from before.

“I was telling Maggie earlier that I planned to watch the rest of the show from the balcony with the guys. Wanted to invite you to join.”

Her mouth hung open, hand reaching for my arm and pulling me close. “We’d love to.” She answered for us.

I shot her a look. I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to do this. I still had the unnerved feeling that something wasn’t right.

She ignored my stare, smiling brightly at Noah.

He returned her grin with his own, which was oddly menacing. I noticed at that moment that he still had the fangs in.

“Awesome. Follow me.”

We did as we were told, following him into the back of the building, passing people who obviously were working on the show. We were far enough behind Noah that I pulled Alex in close, whispering to her.

“I feel weird about this, babe.”

She stared at me incredulously. “Why? Isn’t this your biggest fantasy?”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course it is, but it feels strange. Why us?”

She shrugged. “We manifested it? I don’t know. Shit like this happens all the time.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think it does.”

The balcony he lead us to was private. It was between sets, so the other members of the band were sat, relaxing, beers in hand. It was set up as a lounge, three couches lined up.

Noah graciously introduced us to the other band members, and we shook their hands feverishly, awestruck. It wasn’t lost on me that all of them still had the fangs in.

Alex had struck a conversation with Nick Folio, explaining how she played drums in high school. I sat slowly on the end couch, seeing the view of the stage that was incredible. The couch sunk next to me, and I glanced over to Noah, who was tapping a message into his phone.

“Aren’t those uncomfortable?”

He looked up at me, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

I pointed to my canines, and he snorted.

“Oh, right. Yeah, you get used to them.” He locked his phone and slipped it in his pocket.

I nodded. “You guys are dedicated to the theme, huh?”

He smiled, showing off the sharp points, and ran his tongue over one. “They’re not easy to take off.”

“Mm.” Must be glued on.

“Can I ask you something?”

He nodded, leaned back on the seat with his arm over the back.

“Do you do this all the time? Pick up random fans?”

He narrowed his eyes, grinning at me.

“Why do you ask?”

“Because it seems abnormal. What makes us so special?”

He sat up, leaning forward on his elbows so he was inches from my face, his breath cool. “What makes you think you’re just some random fan?”

I scoffed. “Because I am?” I leaned away from him, needing air. “I’m just a girl. Short. Glasses. Mop of hair. I didn’t even wear makeup tonight.”

He leaned back as well, keeping a distance between us. “So? Why does that mean you aren’t special?”

I rolled my eyes. “I think I’m not the first fan to be in a balcony with you.”

He nodded. “You’d be correct.” My heart sunk just slightly. “But you’re the first one I went looking for.”

My eyes popped open.

The fuck did that mean?

“Looking?”

He snickered, sighing loudly. “You got me. I thought you were attractive. Really attractive, okay? I figured I’d see if I could catch you.”

This caught me so far off guard, I nearly fell off of the couch.

“You think I’m attractive?”

This made him belly laugh, my disbelief.

“Maggie, can I let you in on a secret?” I just nodded. He leaned his head over, whispering. “I think you’re mouthwatering.”

A sharp tingle shot up my spine, and I wriggled next to him.

The lights went down, and the crowd cheered as Falling In Reverse began their set.

Popular Monster. This show was a trip.

We watched the show, Alex and I singing along to the lyrics of nearly every song. Every so often, Noah would lean over and tell me something about the song playing, complimenting Ronnie’s artistic ability or the instrumentals. The guys all seemed to be enjoying it as well, air-guitar and drumming. 

It was just far enough away that I couldn’t tell, so I leaned into Noah. “Is Ronnie wearing fangs too?”

He nodded, lips nearly touching my ear when he spoke. “It was Oli’s idea. We all have them.”

Made sense. I smiled at him, catching his eyes wandering my face. His arm was tucked neatly behind my back now, resting on my hip. Something about the encounter changed. I didn’t feel fear anymore, rather, Noah’s presence felt safe. It felt comfortable and I felt myself craving it. The air almost lightened, my shoulders relaxing as I exhaled a breath I had been holding.

“Can I tell you something?” I nodded, leaning back in to hear him. “I’d kiss you right now, if you’d let me.”

My eyebrows shot up. He pulled his face away, running his tongue over his bottom lip. A pit opened in my stomach, causing me to swallow harshly. 

“And what if I don’t?”

He smirked, his tattooed finger coming up to swipe across my bottom lip. “That, darling, would be a tragedy.”

It was involuntary, the way my body pressed closer to him, the soft skin of his lips brushing against mine. It wasn’t quite what we wanted, but it was so close.

My self control was fading, and he knew it, his hand tightening on my hip.

“If you’d let me?”

That was it. My lips were pressed against his, molding to his mouth, and breathing into his soul. I felt the sharp tooth scrape over my skin, which elicited a hard groan from me. His other hand came up to the side of my neck, and his fingers tangled in my curls.

We lasted this way for several minutes, finally pulling away with a sharp hiss from his mouth. His eyes were feral, wild. His grip on my hair was tight. He bored into my eyes, speaking something that I couldn’t read.

We were pulled from our moment when a hand tapped my shoulder. I whipped around quickly, and his hands released me.

Alex stood, eyes wide, and smiling. “I hate to interrupt, but I’m going to run to the restroom. Just wanted you to know.”

I wiped my lips with my thumb, feeling a sharp pain. I nodded at Alex, who furrowed her brows, bending down to speak directly at me.

“Watch the fangs, babe. You’re bleeding.”

I looked down at my thumb, the deep red filling the ridges of my print.

A hand came up to wrap around my wrist, staring at my finger. He swiftly and smoothly lifted it to his lips, sucking it into his mouth. When he released me, my finger was clean.

He smiled a sheepish grin at me in response to my shocked expression. “Too weird?”

I wanted to say yes, because that was the normal person thing to say. However, given the heat that had pooled in my stomach and the way my thighs clenched together, I just shook my head.

The music was loud, booming into my chest, and I leaned back onto the couch, staring at Noah.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked me.

“That there’s no way this is real.”

He smirked. “Sometimes, it’s better to believe it’s not.”

This confused me, but he was wrapping his arm around me again, pulling me into his side, and looking down at the stage. We tried to watch the performance, we really did. But within minutes, I was in his lap, straddling his hips, and our tongues were fighting for dominance while his hands roamed up and down my legs.

I sighed, closing my eyes as his lips trailed down my jaw to my neck, nipping gently at my pulse point. He licked a stripe up my windpipe, causing me to rut against him.

“Fucking hell, Maggie.” He leaned back, and I pulled back, hands on his shoulders. “You’re so fucking amazing.” 

I blushed, leaning back down to nibble on his ear. In my peripheral vision, I caught my phone on the couch lighting up. I had four missed texts from Alex.

“Shit!” I grabbed my phone and sat back on his legs.

“Everything okay?”

I shrugged. “Alexa isn’t back, and I haven’t checked my messages. I got distracted.” I said, eyeing him mischievously.

He responded by scratching his nails down the front of my leggings.

Alexa: BABE Spencer is out here talking to Andy!!!!

Alexa: OMFG he’s looking at me. I’m going to talk to him.

Alexa: HE REMEMBERS ME FROM THE CROWD.

Alexa: He asked me to go to his balcony. I have to. It’s the one next to Noah’s. I’ll be there if you need me.

I smiled at my phone. “Such a weird night.”

“Is she okay?”

I nodded, setting my phone back down. “Yeah, uh,” I shook my head, trying to understand how this had happened. “She met Spencer Charnas, and she’s in his balcony.”

He nodded, looking apprehensive. “She’s a fan of his?”

“The biggest. She’d die for that man.”

His eye twitched at that, almost a wince. “Mm. Maybe she should stick with you?”

My face fell, confused. “Why?”

He bit his lip, glancing over to where Folio sat, who was staring directly at him. “I don’t know. Just seemed like the kind of thing you guys do.”

I nodded, falling off of his lap. “Usually, but this is kind of once in a lifetime.”

He sighed hard, his eyes glancing back up to Folio. “I wish it wasn’t.”

This was confusing, his entire demeanor had shifted.

“Are you okay?”

He worried his bottom lip with the fangs, and nodded. “You, uh,” He looked at his bandmates, who were all giving him a look. “want to see the bus? I need to get something, but I don’t want to leave you alone.”

There was something under his tone that made me almost flinch. It was as if he wasn’t giving me a choice…

“Okay? I mean, or I could wait with Alex in the next balcony?”

“No!” Noah’s voice was harsh, causing me to wince. “I mean, let her have her time. Once in a lifetime, right?”

I nodded, unsure.

“You trust me?”

I sighed, suddenly wildly unsure. “Should I?”

He nodded fervently. “Yes. You should.”

-

The tour bus was enormous. It was also a total mess. It was as if it was more lived in than an actual home. I try not to judge, but there was stuff everywhere. Drink containers, beer bottles, random garbage, clothes. The shades were drawn, and you couldn’t see outside. 

Noah turned around with a look of embarrassment on his face, a hard contrast to the persona he had on all night. He scratched the back of his neck nervously.

“Sorry, the guys said they’d clean up…I guess they forgot.”

I shook my head, giving him a warm smile. “No worries. You guys have to live here, I get it.”

He sighed. “Can I be honest?”

“I’d hope so.” I giggled, hands in my sweater pockets.

“I didn’t need to grab anything, I was just hoping for some privacy.”

My eyes widened, and I almost couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“Oh…” Suddenly uncomfortable, I began scanning the bus for all of the exits, the closest being the door behind me.

“You don’t have to stay, it was just stuffy in there and the guys are kind of really fucking nosey.”

This made me smile. “I caught that.” I pursed my lips, looking around, trying to soothe the hammering in my chest. “I could stay.”

“You sure? Oli is going to go on soon.”

I nodded. “Once in a lifetime?”

This almost made his face fall, and he leaned against the counter of the kitchenette sink. “I wish it wasn’t.”

This gave me pause, and I moved to stand next to him.

“What do you mean?”

He pulled his hat off, revealing his mop of long dark hair that was overgrown. “I just…” He trailed off. “I don’t get to have normal relationships, yaknow? Date? See people more than once? It doesn’t really happen.”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Why not?”

He smirked at this, looking down at his shoes. “My lifestyle doesn’t really allow it.”

I nodded. Rockstar life had to be tough.

“Well, just because you can’t date someone, doesn’t mean you can’t be friends, right?” I won’t lie, I was slightly hopeful.

“It’s kind of more complicated than that.” 

I nodded, not wanting to press further, and an uneasy silence fell over us. After about three minutes, he finally spoke.

“I liked kissing you.”

I couldn’t prevent the grin that cracked on my lips. “I liked kissing you too.”

“I didn’t bring you back here for that. I just thought I’d mention it.”

This was one of the pivotal moments in life where you decide how it goes. Walk away? See what this is, and make the smart choice to end it? 

Or consider this the Gods giving you a gift? A one-time chance to fulfill a fantasy you would otherwise never get again?

I decided quickly that life was too fucking short, and moved to stand in front of him.

“Can we…just do what we want? Because this will never happen for me again, and I find it painfully difficult not to jump on you right now.”

He peered up at me through his lashes, his eyes pitch black. “Yeah? You’re sure? I don’t want to be a dick, but you know I can’t continue anything after tonight.”

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes for a second, and opened them with no hesitation left, staring directly at him. 

This gave him the answer he was looking for, as it took less than a fraction of a second for him to have me pinned against the wall behind me, hand on my throat, lips attacking my mouth feverishly. A smooth growl rumbled from his throat, and something inside of me clenched. 

With the grip in my neck, he guided me to spin, lifting me up onto the countertop. My legs wrapped around him instinctively, and I breathed into him, feeling his hands smooth up my legs, and push them apart so he could press himself between them.

His mouth pulled at the skin of my jaw, surely leaving bruises I’d have to explain to Alex later. When I felt the sharp point of the fans against my skin, I placed a hand on his chest.

“Noah?” He didn’t pull back, but only hummed in response as he licked and sucked on my collarbone. “Maybe you should take the fangs out?”

He stilled, frozen. This caused me to do the same, waiting for his next move.

“I can’t.”

My brain didn’t register that. “Can’t?”

“They aren’t coming out.” He breathed again on my skin, making me shiver. “Is that a problem? If it is, tell me now.”

The idea of not going further made my body physically scream, so I just shook my head, signaling for him not to stop.

His arms, strong and solid, lifted me clean off of the counter and pulled me into the hallway, our lips reconnecting. In the back of the bus held a large bedroom area, and with one hand, he slid a door shut behind us. 

He lowered me onto the mattress and became so gentle, I almost couldn’t handle it. His hands reached to unzip my sweatshirt, pulling it open to reveal my crop top. I chose to go without a bra tonight, knowing I’d be keeping my sweater on. His eyes roamed to my hardened nipples pressing against the fabric, and he bit his lip in response.

“If at any point you want to stop, tell me, okay?”

I nodded.

“Say it. Say you understand.” His voice was callous, no playfulness left.

“I understand.”

This brought a wicked smile to his face, fangs pressing out and his tongue gliding over them. “Good girl.”

He was ruthless, his hands pulling my shirt up, exposing my bare breasts, hands grasping them with force, pinching each nipple between his fingers. I yelped at the sudden painful sensation, but pressed into his touch. His knee balanced him on the bed, pressing against my core. I writhed under him, begging for friction.

“So fucking needy, darling. All in good time.”

I sucked in a breath, nearly whining at his teasing. His right hand snaked up my chest, grasping at my throat. The pressure was so much, but I couldn’t ask him to stop because it was so good, I was okay with dying right here like this.

His other hand slid down my stomach, nails scratching into my flesh, before he gripped the waistband of my leggings and tugged them down.

“Tell me how bad you want it, baby.” His fingers loosened just enough for me to speak.

“So bad. Need it. Need you.”

His eyes were roaming my body, eyes settling on the jet black panties I wore. His hand pressed flat against the fabric, making me hiss at the sensation.

“You want me to eat you? Devour you?”

I nodded frantically.

“If I do, I’m going to bite you. You alright with that?”

I froze, staring up at him, tears running down the side of my face. 

“You can say no.” His voice was smooth as honey, dripping down his lips and right into my soul.

“Please.” It came out as a breath, just the ghost of a word.

A harsh snarl left his lips, and he dropped onto the floor with lightening speed, pulling my leggings off and gripping the waistband of my underwear, ripping them apart to show my already soaked pussy.

His fingers slid through my lips before coming up to his mouth, his eyes rolling back at the taste. “Fucking stunning.” He groaned.

His mouth attacked me, licking long, flat stripes up my core, causing my hips to buck. I whimpered, trying not to make too much noise.

His hands gripped my thighs and pulled me closer to the edge of the bed, bringing me right to his face.

“No one can hear us here, baby. Fucking scream for me.” 

I let go, letting all of the harsh, vile sounds leave my throat with no restraint. His mouth sucked hard on my clit, making my vision go stark white behind my eyelids.

“Oh my God, Noah, I’m going to come, please don’t stop.”

He latched harder, a finger penetrating into me, pressing against my sweet spot and smoothing circles into it, bringing me crashing over the edge of bliss. My back lifted off of the mattress, my entire body tingling.

At the exact second my orgasm slammed into me, I felt a stinging, slicing pain on the inside of my thigh, causing me to scream out and look down. Noah’s face was still buried between my legs, but his eyes were staring directly at me. His fingers continued to massage me through my euphoria while his lips pulled at the sore spot on my thigh. When he lifted his face, my body finally calming, a deep crimson fluid sat on his lip before his tongue came up and swiped it away. 

He rested a palm flat on my stomach as my breathing slowed. “Are you okay?”

I blinked back the tears and gasped in a breath. “More, please. I need more.”

It wasn’t even me speaking anymore. My body had transcended to another plane and I was watching from a different dimension at that point.

He smiled, his teeth tinged with blood - my blood. “What’s the magic word?”

“Jesus, fuck, Noah! Please!”

His hand snatched me by my waist, flipping me over and pulling me back up so my feet were on the floor. His arm held me up, as standing wasn’t an option with the way my legs felt like gelatin. I felt the warm fluid from the wound on my thigh dripping down my leg.

He paused, reaching for a drawer and grabbing, what I assumed to be, a condom. I heard the foil open and be discarded. He let go of me for ten seconds to put it on, and before I could think about anything else, he was pushing inside of me. The feeling was achingly delicious, the stretch and burn of it. Noah was exceptional. My body fell forward, hands reaching out balance. He thrusted mercilessly, pounding me harder into the mattress, his breathing loud and deep, guttural moans escaping him.

After a few moments, and my vision slowly blurring as I began climbing the hill once again, his hand wrapped around my neck and pulled me backward to stand straight up. I whined, leaning my head back on his chest.

It was without cause, but I still asked. “Bite me again? Please?”

I didn’t want it, I needed it. I was ravenous for the pain and the feeling of him being so connected with me. 

“Don’t say that.” His words were breathless, but I was persistent.

“Please, Noah. Please.”

“God damn it.” He tightened his grip on my neck and I felt his lips touch my skin before the fangs sung in deep, piercing the thin skin just above my clavicle.

A scream pierced through me as the pain sent white hot shock waves through my body, my vision cutting out and my orgasm tearing through me. I vibrated at the stimulation of it all, and began to feel by body going slack, my skin tingling with a numbing sensation. My eyelids began to feel heavy, Noah's lips still latched to my skin. I could swear I felt a sucking feeling. That would be one hell of a hickey later.

Noah's thrusts suddenly stilled, his throat growling against me, his fingers gripping my hip violently, surely leaving bruises.

I was still riding the high of my climax when I felt everything starting to go sideways as the room began to spin. His arm wrapped around me quickly as I felt my consciousness slipping.

"Easy, baby. Easy." I hadn't even noticed him slip out of me, or unlatch from my throat.

Suddenly, his hands were gentle, laying me down on the bed on my back. Through my hooded lids, I could see him standing, tall and muscular. I could see all of him, and as badly as I wanted to savor it, I was so sleepy.

His hands pulled a soft, red blanket over me, and he put a finger up. "One second, stay here."

He disappeared out of the door, and I felt my eyes threatening to close. My brain was shutting off quickly, and it wasn't going to be optional anymore.

He came back within a minute, now wearing shorts, with a large blue Powerade, and a pack of Reese's in his hands. He set them down on the mattress next to me and slid his arms under me, lifting me up onto the pillows of the bed.

"Maggie, you still with me?"

I could only mumble in response, the pull of sleep tugging me down.

"Don't fall asleep. You need to drink this." He opened the Powerade. My hand came up to take the drink, but my fingers had very little sensation. "Here." Noah used one arm to lift me partway, and held the bottle to my lips. "Just take sips."

Once I had sufficiently drank a quarter of the bottle, suddenly feeling parched, he recapped it and began tearing open the Reese's. "Eat this, you need to increase your blood sugar and carbohydrates."

Feeling slightly more coherent, I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Why? Did that orgasm almost kill me?" I snickered, taking a peanut butter cup and peeling the wrap off the bottom.

"No, the orgasm didn't." He said pointedly, but made work of getting up and heading for the door again. I laid, slowly munching the chocolate, eyes trailing after him. I pulled the blanket up to my chin, feeling strikingly cold suddenly. I felt a numbness in my toes and fingertips. Something about it bothered me, but also didn't?

He walked back in, a damp rag in his hand. What did he need that for? He used a condom, I thought?

Noah sat next to me on the bed, and ran a hand over my cheek gently, giving me a small, comforting smile. "You feel better?"

I nodded, still chewing the second peanut butter cup. "Much."

His smile crinkled the corners of his eyes. "Good, I'm glad."

Smoothing his hand over to my hair, he pulled it away from my neck, and pressed the damp rag to it. I winced, pain shooting up into my face.

"Christ!" He pulled his hand back, and I noticed the rag was a deep red. "Am I bleeding?"

He shushed me, moving my face back over. "Not much anymore, it's mostly stopped. This is just a little alcohol to sterilize it." He sighed as he pressed the rag to my skin. "Next, I'll clean up your leg."

My mind, suddenly clear as day, began running through all of the most ridiculous scenarios possible. Regardless of how stupid it sounded, I still had to ask...

"Noah?"

"Hmm?" He raised an eyebrow, pulling out a large bandage and unpeeling it from the paper.

"Are you an actual vampire?"

His hands stopped, and his neck snapped up at me. His eyes were deadly serious, but his lips twisted in a sick smile. "Now, why would you say something silly like that? Of course not."

"But-"

He chuckled, his body shaking, and continued applying the bandage to my neck, hand lingering on my cheek as he looked in my eyes.

"No, I'm just a guy with kinks, that's all."

Did I want to press this further?

I looked back up at him, and he smiled brightly. That's when I noticed.

"You took the fangs off."

He peered up at me, running his tongue over his teeth. "Yeah, something like that."

Noah began pulling the blanket from my leg when he stopped abruptly, his eyes shifting to the door of the room. His hand gripped my leg, and he spoke under his breath.

"Fuck." His eyes looked back at me, a panic now rising. "You have to go. Now."

He grabbed my arm, and began pulling me off of the bed gently. "Can you stand?" I heard the door of the bus open, and people speaking at the front.

The urgency in his voice was frightening, so I swung my legs over and attempted to stand. The room swayed slightly, but I managed to stay upright. I nodded at him.

"Good, okay," He stood off the bed, and ran to the other side, picking my clothes up and tossing them at me, sans my torn panties. "get dressed. I'm going to open the window, there's a ladder just outside. Climb down it and go. Fast. Go to your car, and leave."

I was stepping into my leggings and looked up at him. "I have to find Alex, first."

He huffed, frustrated, and helped me put my shirt over my head. "Don't. Just go."

Noah pulled the window open silently, and pulled me over to him once I had zipped up my sweatshirt and slipped my shoes on. "Noah, what-"

He pressed a hand to my mouth. "Please, just listen to me. Leave. Don't look for her. Just go. Fast, okay?"

My eyes welled up. The terror was back. Why was he hiding me? Was he embarrassed? Did he not want anyone to know I was here? Why didn't he want me to look for Alex?

He hands hoisted me up effortlessly, he didn't even groan when he lifted me to the window. I slipped a leg out, and turned my head to him. "Noah?"

He looked at me, eyes sparkling bright, brighter than I had seen. "Yes?"

"I hope to see you again."

The smallest smile turned his lips up. "If you're lucky, you won't."

-

Alex's phone wasn't picking up and she hadn't responded to any of my messages. Bring Me The Horizon's set was about over, and she was nowhere. Ice Nine's balcony was empty - they all were. She wasn't in the venue. She wasn't outside. She was gone.

Her last text to me had me walking behind the building, looking through the busses.

Alexa: Spencer invited me back to his bus with him and Ronnie...I can't believe this is real life!! I will text you when I'm done! ;)

I only knew which bus was Noah's, but I felt like an absolute creep looking through the others, trying to see into the windows. I was standing next to one, on my tip-toes, trying to see through the tint, when my ears picked up on something...

It sounded suspiciously like screaming...but not the kind I would expect from someone having a good time. Not the kind I just made.

I rounded the corner, finding one last bus, and noticed it appeared to be moving. This had to be it. As I approached, figuring I would just wait until she was done, it stilled, and the night went eerily silent. Something about it made my stomach drop. I considered going back and getting Noah, asking him to check it out, but I had already come to terms with the fact that whatever that was, was over.

Instead, I made a soft wrap on the door, hoping someone would answer. Nothing came, no sound or motion. I sighed. Someone was definitely in there. Maybe they fell asleep? I almost did.

I knocked harder with the same result. Eventually, I pounded, hollering. "Hello?"

My fingers reached for the handle, and I noticed the door was unlocked, the door opening easily. I looked in, and noticed it was dark, only a neon blue light emanating from the back somewhere. I stepped up the staircase, peering my head around the corner.

"Alex?"

What my eyes saw, I was nowhere near prepared for. My eyes met hers, only hers were upside down, head hanging off of the edge of the bed, tears running down the sides of her face. They were also lifeless, and so was she. She was laid on the bed, fully dressed, and blood poured from her throat and pooled on the floor. There were two men on top of her, mouths latched to her chest and throat.

I couldn't help the gasp that came out, my eyes watering at the scene. I brought my hand up over my mouth and both men looked up at me. I couldn't register what I was seeing...

Spencer Charnas and Ronnie Radke were on top of my best friend, and their faces were absolutely covered in her blood.

Their fangs shined, covered in the red viscous liquid, and harsh growling hisses came out of their mouths.

Before I could scream, a hand had grabbed the back of my sweatshirt and pulled me down the stairs, and was dragging me away from the bus. I thrashed, screaming and fighting against the person pulling me away.

"No! No! Please! Stop, please!!" A hand came up over my mouth.

"Shut up!" My eyes looked down, and through my bleary tears, I saw the tattoos. The familiar tattoos.

Noah pulled me over to another bus and pressed me against the side. He loomed over me, his eyes dark again, all of the light gone.

"I told you to fucking leave!"

I couldn't speak. I was stunned. "I...they...Alex..."

"Alex is gone." He was so matter of fact. Stern, even. A choked sob broke out of my chest.

"No, no please, you have to help me."

"I am helping you! You have to leave! Before anyone realizes you did." His hands were against the bus on either side of me. "Please Maggie, please just leave."

"Noah..." I stared at the sharp fangs. "Your teeth..."

He hung his head. "Maggie, listen to me. You were never here. You lost Alex at the concert, and she went missing. They already reported her missing to security." My eyes went wide, tears streaming. "Now, go home. Stay there. And never speak about this again. Understood?"

I didn't respond, I just glared at him. He was one of them. A monster. He drank my blood. He tried to kill me. Him and his friends...they killed Alex.

When I didn't answer, he grew impatient, slamming his hands against the bus, making me flinch.

"God damn it Maggie, do you understand?!"

I just nodded, and he let one of his arms fall. I slipped by him, but his hand caught my arm. I stopped, staring up at him.

"I'm so sorry." His eyes were soft again, but I ripped my arm from him. He looked taken back by my sudden brazenness.

"No you're not..." I took several steps forward, but I took a deep breath and stopped, turning to see him still staring at me.

"But you fucking will be."

[i-eat-worlds]

Starcross Chapter 9

In which tense conversations ensue.

Content: Angst, past systemic violence, space imperialism

Free Space, AFS Starcross, 5/5/4763

Veya jabbed the button on the dining table’s holodisplay, bringing up a rotating trade lane alert. The rest of her crew was gathered around, in varying stages of awakeness. Jesse was chomping on a VidaFruit energy bar, while Mari and Ziar were both nursing cups of tea. Elzar looked like they could’ve fallen asleep right then and there. Nothing like a surprise Yeran ship to screw up everyone’s sleep schedules.

“I’ll keep this short, since I know about half of you want to get to bed,” she started, bringing up the details of the alert. “As you’re all aware, Starcross picked up another stray last night. A few minutes ago, Yera put out an alert for who I’m assuming is them.” They gestured to the rotating hologram.

The holo made them look better, with more fat on their cheeks and less bruises on their face. A high Yeran collar rose around their neck, the metal tipped collar points a dead giveaway. Below it, a thickly bolded angular font declared that their name was “Arta Lacos,” a civil service worker who had apparently abandoned their post in several different languages.

Ziar bristled at the image, eyes narrowing. “Civil service worker my ass,” she mumbled under her breath.

“This crew is a family, and I’d never want to put any of you at risk,” Veya continued, tone serious. “Yera will come and try to get them back. Us helping them is not without signicant risk. If that’s a problem for you, speak up now.”

Mari’s eyes flickered up, nervously darting around. “Doesn’t “civil service worker” on a Yeran report normally mean “soldier who deserted?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but Ziar got there first. “There's no way that they’re a soldier. Not from what I saw, Mari.”

“I don’t want to even chance a fucking Yeran soldier on Starcross,” he said, voice forceful.

Oka placed a hand on their partner's forearm. “Azei, I’ve seen them. They’re not like that,” they spoke in Sanatesse.

“Mari, they begged me to hurt them.” Ziar put a foot forward. “You and I both know that Yera’s bastards don’t beg.” Mari dropped his head, but still didn’t say anything, not quite convinced. “They have god knows how many needles stuck into their spine. They aren’t even Yerani,” she swiped a hand through the hologram for emphasis, making it icker. “They’re human. Yera would rather implode than let a human serve.”

Yera would rather implode than let a human live. Before it had been Adaxia, before it had been Veya’s planet and home and family, it had been Earth, and all the other lonely planets on the far reaches of the galaxy that Yera had invaded.

Mari nodded at Ziar’s argument, posture relaxing a little. “Still, Yera will come for them. We’ve worked too hard to build this to let it fall apart now.”

“So we're just going to do what? Push them out of the airlock?” Ziar snapped, stepping closer.

Mari was just about to open his mouth to continue when Veya cut in. “Take a breath, you two.” They both scooted back. “We could try and find a safer place for them to go, maybe in the midri?” She suggested.

“I could see if I know anyone or anyone who knows anyone who’d be willing to help,” Oka said, looking unsure. “But I don’t know how well they’d fare with that.”

Ziar nodded. “I think they should stay with us.”

“Almost every single one of us has been, or is currently, wanted by Yera.” Oka was projectling like they were talking to everyone, but they were turned towards Mari. “Starcross, and Veya, have kept us safe. She’ll keep doing that.”

Finally, Mari sighed. “Okay. But we should still keep an eye on them until we know that we can trust them.”

“Of course.” Veya looked to Elzar and Jesse. “Do you two have any input?”

Elzar shrugged. “I haven’t really met them yet. But I trust Oka’s judgment. They can stay.”

“Same here,” Jesse crumpled up the VidaFruit bar’s wrapper. “I don’t have a problem with it.”

After a final look around the room to make sure everyone seemed comfortable, Veya cleared her throat. “It’s settled then. Kim stays.” A round of nods followed. “I want everyone to rest up. We’re going to land on Zarian in just about six hours. Ziar’s got a doctor coming to visit, so maybe clean it up a little. See you soon.”

Jesse grumbled a little at the cleaning as they all split off in their separate directions, heading towards either their stations or their berths. Before they walked away, Ziar sighed a respectful thank you in Nor’daxi.

Whatever feelings they had about Kim, Veya hoped they were right.

*** Jesse brought Starcross into Zarian’s atmosphere, feeling the hypergravity fluid pull back on her seat belt as the planet’s gravity grew stronger, pulling them closer. Starcross was an older ship, but Jesse had come to love the way her controls felt during reentry. The subtle tug as she evened out the fluid, seamlessly guiding them downward.

While Zarian was probably most famous for the warm volcanic islands that sprouted up in the tropical seas around its equator, that was not their final destination today. Starcross was headed for its icy northern polar tundra instead, far away from any vacation spots, to deliver several loads of fishing equipment related cargo. She wasn’t quite sure what it was, and she didn’t really care.

Despite the knowledge that the weather was sure to be less than ideal, Jesse was still excited to get planetside. They’d be able to stock up on real, non-mining ration food, something with a decent amount of protein and a flavor that wasn't just salt.

She switched to a local frequency, asking for permission to enter its airspace. Zarian’s controllers were used to high traffic volumes, were all multilingual, and were all relatively competent, unlike certain asteroids she could mention. They were quick to return her an authorization code and a landing area.

As she dropped lower, her view became covered by thick clouds. Nothing like descending from space into that fine polar weather. She watched the scanner, locators pinging in her ears as she moved them lower.

Finally, Zarian’s landscape opened up below her, snow capped mountains giving away barren, red grass covered landscape. The city of Iegal spread out along a coast, hugging an ice filled sea. Small boats bobbed up and down, traps sparkling in the water. It was, believe it or not, summer.

Jesse set down on a platform by one of the industrial districts, flipping the switch to power down the main engines.

Starcross had landed.

Taglist: @whumpscholar @seth-whumps @itsoundslikeafury @blackberry-bloody @snakebites-and-ink

@whumpacabra @cepheusgalaxy @softvampirewhump @my-little-versaille @pigeonwhumps

@whumped-by-glitter @snaillamp @rainydaywhump @platysaurus @whumpy-daydreams

@whiskygoldwings @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @rainbowsandwhumperflies @risk606 @starfields08000

@loonybun @paingoes @yassifiedinformation

[olderthannetfic]

olderthannetfic/729300911208448001/the-reason-theres-more-positivity-for

This is trolling. No one assumes trans men are masculine. We get called boys even in our 30s, drawn as skinny white AFABs in layers of soft clothing, and reassured that it's okay if we want to kiss other boys. Actually, being assured that you're a cutie patootie fem uwu is really dysphoria inducing for a lot of trans men. I was on tumblr when I had just come out when I was 15 and it was incredibly discouraging to see the posts fawning over adorable wittle twans bois. I'm 25, I don't want to hold hands with a boy, I want to fuck a man. I don't want to change my hobbies and I don't care if people think it's toxic masculinity that makes me like "manly" things (way to assign the binary to activities, real progressive of you) and I don't get anything from "let boys be soft" with clapping emojis and sparkles inbetween every word with glittering font. "No actually it's good to not support part of a marginalized group!" no. Your trolling is shit and so are you.

And the idea that ace people are assumed to be against sex actually made me laugh out loud. I'm working on my doctorate and actually, on college campuses? I've heard from professors - not students, professors, adults old enough to have college-age kids - that ace people have sex at the same rate as straights but they need more foreplay, ace people just need more time to get to know you but after that they're sexually indistinguishable from heterosexuals, that asexuality isn't real, that asexuality is an internet label people use instead of admitting that they can't get laid, and my least favorite, that any man who says he's asexual is actually an incel/that asexuality is another term for incels and femcels. Then you hop online and the internet goes, "Ace people love sex! Ace people love kink! Ace people have just as much sexual attraction as other people! You'r'e valid if you're ace and fuck/do kink/are attracted to everyone!" and if there's positivity for people who are ace who aren't into sex, I've yet to see it. Hell, being not into sex gets you labeled "repulsed", like you're retreating from it the way the Wicked Witch of the West would from water and not just not into it. That happened even in OTNF's own comment section, and these are not uneducated people when it comes to queerness, we've just normalized that sex is a part of everyone's identity so much that even if you're asexual, it's weird and must be a repulsion thing if you're not into it. "Uh actually everyone assumes [__] so there's no need for positivity for [__]" fucking where?! Where are all these people who assume being asexual = not wanting sex?

For the record, I got my undergrad at two different universities due to a change of major, got my master's at another, and am getting my doctorate at a fourth, all in four different US states. One was in the Northeast, one was in the South, one was in the Midwest and now I'm on the West Coast. And I have never encountered people who assume trans men are manly or that asexual people don't have sex.

I have encountered sex negative asexuals, people who get so upset they leave the room if you make a joke involving them and sex, who interrupt the professor mid-lecture to say, "Ace people have sex!", though. That's how deeply this is ingrained in some people's minds, they will say it even when it does not apply to them, even when it's the opposite of themselves, so they can make sure they are Educating The Cishetallos and, more importantly, then share the moment they had to do so with their progressive friends for brownie points/in order to be seen as One Of The Good Queers who educates others.

As for the weird thing in the troll ask pretending anyone who talks about their lived experience believes in a conspiracy... do yourself a favor and get help bringing up your literacy before you take the SAT/ACT, kid. Not only is your trolling shit but you don't understand what the word conspiracy means. Someone saying, "[insert thing here] happened to me" is not a conspiracy and this is why your English teachers gave you C's - to get you out of their classroom and make your lack of comprehension someone else's problem.

In the event this wasn't a troll but was actually what you read, please get two tutors and possibly a screening for any latent anxiety or mental illnesses that would explain how you read people venting about shitty life experiences and thought they believed there was a conspiracy of some kind going on. Because that's the kind of making shit up out of thin air my dad, who has diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Paranoid Personality Disorder, would do, and it's not a great sign if you read people going, "the people around me are shitty about this" and jumped to "the people who sent those asks are saying there's a conspiracy theory against them and I am the one sole person who can see the truth here!"

I really don't know how to explain this to people but if someone says something is shitty on their campus, they're saying something is shitty on their campus. It's not a personal attack or conspiracy. Sometimes shit fucking sucks and it's exactly that deep.

--

You wouldn't think "Someone had a stupid-ass opinion on my college campus" would be that hard to believe.

[ateezivy]

I'm on holiday rn and have rubbish WiFi but literally found a hotspot and logged on just so I could see if you had posted and I was so pleased! The kiss was SO good!

Could we maybe have a snippet of Hongjoong's / rest of ateez reactions afterwards? (Definitely not got a thing for angry hongjoong 🤣)

 ˗ˏˋ hongjoong. 

     ……❪ i don't see hong being mad, at least not too mad. i think he'd just be very confused... if he is angry it's because he is just worried about what people would say. ivy and mingi aren't really the couple to do stuff like making out in public, they hardly kiss in public, so doing it in font of so many fans was just bizarre. i think he would probably get mad if ivy told him that it was because of the sign "so your jealous ass decided to kiss your boyfriend and probably receive even more comments like that in the end? smart move olivia" ❫

 ˗ˏˋ seonghwa. 

     ……❪ no one talk to him, he's in shock. he doesn't even say anything, he just sits there in silence. like the whole night. the man is scarred. but the funny part is, he's seen them makeout before, he's seen worse than what was on stage. but the fact that they did it on stage is what put him into shock. ❫

 ˗ˏˋ yunho. 

     ……❪ he's laughing his ass off. you could probably hear him cheering and howling backstage from the audience in all honesty. he's so amused by it. he knows that is not something either of them, especially olivia, would ever do unless there was a reasoning. "so why'd you do it?" he asks ivy with a smile "i don't know, just to do it" but he knows there's a real reason. he knows it. ❫

 ˗ˏˋ yeosang. 

     ……❪ he's shocked he doesn't know if he laughs, covers his eyes, or runs. so he does all. he's not all that phased by it, but he will also be using this against them at any point he can. mingi makes fun of him for something "didn't you kiss your fellow member on stage" ivy makes a joke about him "you kissed mingi in front of atiny because you were jealous" i mean he's using this to his advantage really. ❫

 ˗ˏˋ san. 

     ……❪ he was hyping them up ON stage. he was howling into his mic, even when the lights dimmed. honestly he's not even that curious as to why it was done, but he's happy it was. he's been wanting them to 'let loose' forever now. but sadly for sannie, this was the first and last time that they do that again... or is it? ❫

 ˗ˏˋ mingi. 

     ……❪ he was surprised when she told him the idea. but you think he's gonna turn THAT down? fuck no. in fact, he did more than what ivy even asked. the whole spinning her, grabbing her leg, leaning her back, that was all mingi. she didn't expected that one bit. ❫

 ˗ˏˋ wooyoung. 

     ……❪ we all know how wooyoung is. so it's safe to say they will never be living this moment down. i mean. genuinely. he's laughing, cheering, clapping. and in two years he will say "remember when you guys made out on stage" i mean it's a story he will tell their future children. ❫

 ˗ˏˋ jongho. 

     ……❪ he's laughing his ass off. like genuinely. it's so funny to him, yet he does not want to see it again. he has walked in on those two doing some things and he doesn't like it, them kissing on stage was a weird deja vu moment for some reason ❫

[laladellakang]

OMGG i'm so honored that you will let me see the draft of you futur post if I want to and OFC i want to you're like one of my fav author/writer on tumblr so why i would not want to see one of your draft ?! Like really i'm currently so shocked 🥹🥹 i love youuuuu ( and Lala too ofc my girl ) 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

OKAY SO HERE IT IS, MAJORRR FIC SPOILER AND ITS SO SO BAD IM SO NOT PROUD OF IT. IT MAKES NOOOO SENSE (i mean it does but doesnt at the same time) but it was your birthday yesterday and i really wanted to give you a gift. please look forward to the revised and BETTER ver of this soon! 🤍

contains: angst. mentions of cheating (mainly jay)

The world is fucking different. 

Something is off, and I can sense it. Everything just feels strange.

Today, I went to campus for a lecture and ended up accidentally falling asleep in class. No big deal, right? It's not like it hasn't happened before.

The big deal was how odd everything was when I left the room.

I was supposed to be picked up by the car and taken home, but after waiting for ten minutes, there was no sign of it. 

I tried calling our driver, but the call got disconnected. I attempted to reach out to Sungho and Yunji, but their calls were disconnected too. I even tried calling every manager contact on my phone, but nothing worked. Plus it's not like I don't have any signal, it just wouldn't connect for some reason. Something about the numbers not existing.

I decided to take a taxi, hoping it wouldn't cause any trouble. But even the ride home felt odd. Seoul looked... different.

I texted the boys that I was on my way with a taxi and that I feel a bit off. I didn't get a reply or a single read, not even from Jungwon.

But it's whatever! I just wanna get home and cuddle with whoever's free.

Taking a deep breath, I entered the dorm using the combination.

My heart sank as soon as I stepped in.

Female shoes. Ones that are definitely not mine.

Nausea overcame me, and my breathing became heavy as tears welled up.

No. Della, don't. You trust them. She could be anyone. No one is cheating on you.

What if it's a sasaeng? Is someone breaking into our– no. Most, if not all, of the boys should be home. They would have done something if someone had broken in.

It can't be a relative either, as we would have informed the group beforehand.

Then who is she?

"I'm home," I managed to say in a normal voice, trying to hold back the tears.

I heard panicked shuffling and quickly wiped away stray tears before they could see me.

You're strong, Kang Della. Don't show any weakness or insecurity to whoever this person is.

And there she was, someone I had never met or seen before.

She had made herself at home, wearing loungewear and her hair styled in a messy up-do.

Her eyes were wide, mirroring my previous vulnerability, and her breathing was heavy.

And she was stunning. Her freshly-dyed blonde hair contrasted with my midnight black one. She was tall (though not as tall as me, judging by how high she reached the shoe rack), with a small face, big eyes, and plump lips.

Honestly, she reminded me of myself, but in a different font or something. I don't think she's Korean.

"Who are you, and how did you find out where we live?" she asked me fearfully. "How did you know the passcode?"

Wow.

Just wow.

I know that in situations like this (or at least what it's looking like), the blame should mainly fall on the cheater rather than the person they cheated with.

But she just referred to my home as hers. Ain't no fucking way.

"Where YOU live?" I scoffed, licking the inside of my cheek. "I'm sorry– who are you, and why are YOU here?"

That's when I noticed she was wearing my favorite Jay-shirt. It felt like my heart was being crushed, and I could feel the symptoms of a panic attack creeping up.

My sweet Jay. Earlier today, he woke me up and told me I was the most beautiful woman in the world. How lucky he felt to have me. His eyes showed sincerity. Was it all a lie? How can someone so lovely be so cruel?

"I live here. Who are you, and how did you know the passcode?" she responded, a bit more sternly. What the hell?

"This is Enhypen's dorm. I live here," I said, surprised that she didn't recognize me, even though she's dating a member of my group.

Shit. That stings. Park Jongseong fucking cheated on me.

Confusion crossed her face, and she was about to say something when we were interrupted by more shuffling.

We both turned and saw an angry Heeseung.

"What are you doing here? How did you get in?" he said sternly, pulling her behind him to protect her.

Heeseung too? My protective Heeseung who got angry at the other members if they left me unsupervised after my injury.

Now he's protecting her instead of me?

My heart started pounding, and it became harder to breathe.

"Heeseung-oppa?" I said in a small voice, feeling incredibly betrayed.

"Who are you?! Get out of our house before we call the police!" he raised his voice at me. The boys had never spoken to me like that before, especially not in such a harsh tone.

"I live here! Lee Heeseung, what are you saying?!" my voice shook as a few tears escaped.

More commotion followed, and this time all seven members appeared. Even Jake, who I could see peeking from the side of the wall.

Is he... afraid of me?

My Jake who was scared of the girls in I-Land but became so comfortable with me that his golden retriever personality came out. Now he barely wants to see me?

"You don't live here. Who are you?" Jungwon stepped forward. My Jungwon. Enhypen's leader who is ready to protect everyone despite being maknae.

But why isn't he protecting me?

"I—" the sight of all my boyfriends turning against me and defending this girl became too much. I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate, and a panic attack was on the verge of consuming me.

Shit. I haven't had a panic attack in so long and the fact that my lovers are the ones to trigger it is insane. Everything was perfect just this morning– what happened?

"Breathe. Take your time," Oh my Sunghoon. So incredibly precious. Always reassuring and giving me reminders since day one.

"Sunghoon," Heeseung scolded.

"She's going to have a panic attack! How can she explain anything?" Sunghoon reasoned. "Niki, get her some water."

"No, Niki. She should leave. Now," Sunoo said firmly. "I'm calling the police." My Sunoo, our sunshine. We've had our squabbles, but I've never been this scared of him. Now I understand what people mean when they say he has an intimidating face.

"Wait, wait. What's your name?" Riki asked. "Calm down a bit. Tell us how you got in," he approached me and gently rubbed my shoulder. I tend to forget that he's still so young since he hates when I remind him of our slight age gap. My Riki is too pure sometimes. He's doing this when I'm a stranger to them. 

Wait.

It suddenly hit me.

Shit, why didn't my brain work faster?

I'm a stranger to them. They don't know who I am.

It breaks my heart but I should at least introduce myself so that they know I'm not a threat.

I TOLD YOU THE WORLD IS FUCKING DIFFERENT.

"Jay-hyung, call the police," Riki switched languages, probably to ensure that I don't understand.

"Wait! Don't call!" my eyes widened, instinctively grabbing Riki's wrist. "I'm not a crazy fan, I swear!"

"Let go of him," everyone said in unison.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hold him. It was a reflex," I let go and took a deep breath. "My name is Kang Della. I'm a member of Enhypen."

"I'm sorry, what?" Sunoo scoffed. "We only have two female members in our team."

Two?

"What the fuck is happening with the world?" I couldn't help but chuckle humorlessly. "Have I gone insane?"

"Answer us– what do you mean you're a member of Enhypen?" Jungwon asked.

"Did I do that thing from Everything, Everywhere, All at Once?" I leaned against the wall, clutching my aching head. "Just give me a second."

I have officially gone insane.

Even if I did 'multiverse hopped' or whatever you call it, I have officially gone insane. My head fucking hurts.

"Can you please answer us?" Jake asked in a softer voice.

"My name is Kang Della. I was born on March 16, 2003. I'm from Seongbuk-gu, and in 2020, I participated in a survival show called I-Land," I looked up at their faces, hoping to see some recognition. Some looked in disbelief, while others seemed slightly annoyed.

"I made it into the final lineup of Enhypen. Seven boys, two girls. It was you seven plus me and Alice, but Alice left shortly after, so I was the only girl," my eyes welled up with tears at the thought of them not remembering me after everything we went through. "I live here. This dorm has been my home for almost three years. I was attending a class in university, and suddenly I came home to... to this."

"You expect us to–" Heeseung was about to say something when she cut him off. She moved closer to me, looking me in the eye. "Mila–"

"Do you have any proof?" she asked softly.

I maintained eye contact as I pulled out my phone. I let out a shaky breath when I looked at the screen for my Face ID.

The lock screen displayed a picture of us, my Enha.

I opened the gallery app, and a few tears escaped my eyes. I flinched slightly when Mila's hand reached out to wipe them away.

"Take your time," she assured me. Damn, she's sweet too. She seems perfect.

"Thank you," I whispered. My thumb hovered over the photo album labeled 'my forever.' I know I'm being dramatic but all I kept thinking was 'will I ever return to my world again?' "Here you go," I handed her my phone.

I watched as she scrolled through the pictures, but quickly adverted my gaze to the floor. I really wanna go home. I'm surrounded by my comfort people but they're not my comfort people.

"Guys.. These are actually you..." Mila turned around to show the seven. "And it's not even a look alike, it's definitely you. This is the company building," Jay took the phone out of her hands to have a closer look.

I saw him tap on a certain video and Shout Out started playing. That's when I couldn't take it anymore. Again.

I broke down. A full on panic attack.

"Oh my God," Mila wrapped her arms around me. "Let's get you inside. Niki, get her water."

Hearing Shout Out made me think of four things at the same time;

1. How the hell am I gonna go home and how long will it take.

2. I'm all alone in this world/universe/whatever this is.

3. I'm surrounded by people who look and are practically my soulmates, but they're not mine.

4. I guess we're not together in every universe after all. I know it's probably impossible and that the guys were just reassuring me for the sake of it, yet it still stings. This is a reality check.

[skullinahat]

whenever i go font hunting for a project i have a bad habit of downloading fonts i'll never use just because they delight me, so i wanted to share some of them! im pretty sure literally all of them are public domain so if u like any of them pls download them too

for reference to what a normal font looks like, here's helvetica.

now, lets get into my favorites!

This is LT glockenspiel black. just fucking look at this thing. look at it. i love how they didnt really choose a consistent flourish and just go with everything. it feels almost satirically luxurious. 10/10 i try it in my projects whenever i want a laugh

Baymanat. i've got like seven calligraphic fonts like this ill never use and had to throw one of them in her 9/10 its nice

ANABELA. LOOK AT THAT HALFTONE. LOOK AT THOSE WIBBLY LETTERFORMS. WHAT IS HAPPENING 10/10

droog... if anybody has actually used or seen droog in a project show me. now. i have to see it. not only is it a 10/10 unique font deisgn i'll never use it also has a 10/10 name. thats fucking droog all right

Block Out!!! i actually love this font. it's so unreadable in practice but i dont care i NEED to find a way to use it. its so comitted to its gimmick it doesnt half ass any letterform i love it 10/10

monogram fonts are NOT supposed to be used this way but i dont care. look at this. painful. how are you even supposed to use monogram fonts anyway? 10/10

festa!! found this one just recently, it has such futuristic fantasy energy. it just borders on annoyance because of the mixture of circle sizes. never seen a font gimmick like it before 9/10

flegrei. why are there three super thin lines in this entire font and only three 9/10

garish monde. dear gods if i ever need a glitchy eroded font this is what ill use but i really and truly never have 9/10

graphic attitude. this font looks terrible if you do anything longer than a single word but im really really fond of it 10/10

and now we get into kingthings!! this is kingthings facetype, found this through another tumblr post abt it. kingthings was (maybe still is but i dont think so) a super profilic typeface designer with a lot of really weird stuff. im a huge huge fan. they also included a txt file with their fonts that includes a short description of each one and its adorable. here's what they had to say abt facetype.

Kingthings Facetype

I made this font having thought of the name - maybe not the usual way to go about font design. It is based upon Kingthings Exeter and can be used to embellish that font or just as decorated capitals. I enjoyed making this font and it was one of the quickest to do - i just got completely absorbed by the project. I hope you enjoy this daft font!

Kingthings Serifique UL wide. ridicoulous. the flourishes always were a little awkward but on the UL wide theyre obscene. 10/10

Kingthings Inkydinky

I am making a font called Kingthings Serifique (well, that's what it's called this morning) - I got side tracked - again! I was filling and testing fountain pens for the Charity Shop in which I work… Mother always said I'm a filthy Herbert. Doesn't a little Ink go a long way?

Kingthings spirogyra. 10/10

Kingthings Spirogyra

I doodle you know…I remember with wonder, Biology lessons at 'big' school, with Microscopes, and a filamentous pond weed called Spirogyra. There were spirals in it! and a nucleus like a star! and then 35 years later (or so), I doodled Kingthings Spirogyra idly watching TV.

kingthings sheepishly. 10/10 perfection

kingthings tendrylle 11/10 one of my faovirte unusable fonts in the entire world its so amazing in every way

kingthings widow- another 11/10. kevin you are truly my favorite typographer in the whole entire universe

kidskas- ive posted about this font before. look at it again. you need to. its amazing. perfection 11/10

labryinth NF. when in my life will i use this font? no idea. do i fucking love it with my entire heart? yes. look at the curves using half circles to keep the weight. its got two gimmicks and it sticks to them. 10/10

LOSTAR MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY. all my work has been to legibility focused to use this yet but once i get a project thats more whimsical you fucking know who im trying first 10/10

middle cove beach rocks. 10/10 this font fills me with love i dont think ill ever use it but it has my whole heart

milka aged! i love how soft and warm this font is (: 9/10

mister loopy. when i talk about fonts fuckin commiting to their gimmick, this is what i mean. look at this. this is not a font you just use for a project this is a font you build a project around 10/10

misty candy. 10/10 probably the most disturbing font i have i love how it looks like pre-chewed gum

ocean view initials. 10/10. exactly what it is

tuscan expanded. i love expanded fonts so much. i have actually used this font before and it is perfect for one very specific purpose and thats it

pesagi lemu regular. hate this. 10/10

ponderosa std medium. this makes me laugh out loud 10/10

popstars!! this font is the reason i wanted to make this list its so delightful 10/10

RABENK. ABSOLUTELY UNREADABLY IN PRACTICE BUT HAS ENERGY LIKE NO OTHER. WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO THE X. 11/10

i have like four more but i hit tumblrs image limit so i'll be back.

[nibwhipdragon]

Joseph and Shadow for the unhinged character bingo :3

Hee hee finally got around to answering this :3

To start, Joseph:

I cannot put into words how much I have feelings for this man. Positive? Negative? Neutral? Yes

He's so, SO divorceable it's not even a want anymore it's a NEED. I'm signing our divorce papers before we even get married, Joseph Joestar divorce speedrun any% [WR]

There's so much wrong with him in the head. He's been through so much and he never got therapy for it and the aftereffects are never elaborated or explored and just. I am ripping him to pieces, disassembling him and using the pieces I like the most in my fics <3 If Araki didn't want to explore the sort of effects going through the events of part 2 on a person then I sure the fuck will, there's so many thoughts I have not posted about him yet, I have so many ideas and thoughts, but not a way to elaborate them and AUGHHHHHHH

SLAMMING HIM AGAINST THE WALL KILLING HIM BURNING HIM ALIVE TAKING HIM TO GET SANDWICHES EVEN THOUGH I DON'T LIKE BREAD ITS JUST FOR THE AESTHETIC OK WHAT THE FUCK AM I EVEN GOING ON ABOUT NOW LIKE BASICALLY I WANNA DO EVERYTHING WITH HIM OK

I could go on for much longer than this, but I'll save you the pain of reading an extremely long piece of text and just move onto Shadow.

I'm surprised you picked up on this, seeing the hedgehog mold in my brain has only recently taken effect, but yeah I'm insane over Shadow too

He just. He consistently hits every single box for things I like. He has that black/red/white colour scheme, one of my favourite colour schemes ever. Despite being the ultimate lifeform, he uses guns. He has a character design that's so gender. He's got trauma from a loved one being (essentially) brutally murdered in front of him. Also from what I've seen of him he seems pretty autistic so that's always a plus in my eyes.

Most importantly though, I fit all his criteria for marriage. I'd elaborate on that but really it all just boils down to me being autistic, so I'll skip through it all. I can get married to Shadow. And you know what comes after marriage?

✨️Divorce✨️

It is fully within my power to get divorced to Shadow the Fucking Hedgehog. Imagine that. My god. Do you know how well I sleep at night knowing that? Sure I have sleep problems so I barely sleep at all but the times I do sleep are even more blissful than before with this knowledge.

You know what? I should get divorced to him right this second. I WILL get divorced to him right now. Once I finally increase my divorce list enough to warrant making a carrd for it (well. I have to put my list somewhere for people to look at in awe, don't I?) he's gonna be right at the top, in all special font. He deserves it.

@kirstenonic05 tagged me in a post with the bingo and said I should do one for Cheval in the tags, so I'll slap that here too.

Can you believe his name means horse in French. Can you believe that. Wild. Instead of just. Changing his name outright he has a completely different name for the French translation, Ren. Crazy. He's my silly little horse man, commiting crimes since age 13 <3

Despite what most people think of him I think his character arc in Stories 1 was good. Cmon. If I was 12 and had my mother be crushed to death brutally in front of me, and had that trauma fester within me with no help at all, AND ended up having access to fire breathing monsters and weapons, I'm sure I'd go on a killing spree too. He genuinely thought he was doing the right thing and the only reason he acts that way to Lute is because he genuinely doesn't understand why he wouldn't take the "safe" way out by killing monsters the moment they were a threat to human life, but instead try to find an alternative solution to the problem where both survive. And then there was that whole emotional manipulation thing with Manelger and Itsy Bits and just...nobody gets him like I do.

Taking him to therapy, he really does need it after all that happened. Divorcing him too tbh

[pretty-emo-dad]

I posted 511 times in 2022

101 posts created (20%)

410 posts reblogged (80%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@madwheelerz

@aemiron-main

@kidovna

@knightl1ng

@no-ordinary-demigirl

I tagged 440 of my posts in 2022

Only 14% of my posts had no tags

#stranger things - 287 posts

#mike wheeler - 198 posts

#byler - 144 posts

#will byers - 90 posts

#lucas sinclair - 58 posts

#el hopper - 53 posts

#max mayfield - 48 posts

#eleven hopper - 47 posts

#jane hopper - 43 posts

#dustin henderson - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#spurred on by my heart aching and wanting to cry inside everytime one of my friends say “i think i left my beanie at [other persons] house’

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Thinking about everyone in the party just stealing Lucas’ clothes and everyone has their favorites. Like with Erica of course it’s just their laundry getting mixed or the first jacket she sees before getting the mail but she loves taking the expensive sunglasses he never wears out places with her bc it makes him mad. And then Max mixes up the matching stuff they bought all the time but also steals shirts she likes. Dustin wears Lucas’ bandannas and his hat from season one actually used to be Lucas’. Will hates the cold ever since the MF so Lucas will just give him hoodies and flannels that aren’t his style, Will loves the jacket with the fuzzy collar. El is a chronic shirt stealer with both Lucas and Will, and her favorite is the shirt she wore before the piggyback. Mike claims to hate sports (and he does) but has taken Lucas’ windbreaker hostage and wears his letterman every chance he gets

128 notes - Posted November 15, 2022

#4

What I say: I’m fine

What I mean: Mike wheeler has been established as a caring,supportive, and protective friend from very early on in the story. The only time he ever has outburst of anger/moodiness are in times when he’s under emotional distress. The entirety of season 3 Mike is acting out towards Will. Its established that Mike often takes his anger out on other people (“what is wrong with you” to El in season 1, punching hopper in season 2) Most of these times he’s angry at himself for his own shortcomings, he’s projecting. The big Mike Wheeler argument of season three isn’t him breaking up with his girlfriend, it’s him and will’s fight, where he says “it’s not my fault you don’t like girls”. Why would Mike, a caring devoted friend, someone who’s seen Will be bullied and been bullied himself, say that to his closest friend. In this context the argument doesn’t make any sense, unless mike is projecting his internalized homophobia onto Will. In this essay I will-

203 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

#3

Dustin being all “it’s so funny that you all have types” and everyone immediately being like “NO I DONT???”

And Dustin is just like “….Lucas, you like brooding people that have a special soft side, max and mike are mean as fuck but you still love them, and will is a quiet brooder but broody nonetheless”

“Eleven Hopper I love you so much but me and max are the biggest dorks around you, you like girls who’s brains go dumb at the sight of you. And I know Mike was your beard but him and max are literally the same person different font”

“Speaking of mike- El being your beard HAD to be projection because there’s no fucking way you found the nicest person in the party that WASNT Lucas or Will on accident. You did that shit subconsciously and you need to know it. Also will and Lucas are buff as shit”

“Will you like guys who are nice to and would die for you, but you can also bicker with like an old married couple. I think you knew this already tho, love u”

“Max ur literally dating Lucas and El, who cant be too close without me actually tearing up because they are so Nice. They’re also super protective and you act like you don’t like it but you do. I know this cuz we’re besties”

And everyone is just like stunned into silence

301 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

#2

Wait actually I’m thinking about how if Will and mike are stuck in the upside down in s5 the lighting will be mainly blue for them… and this season the lighting was mainly yellow. Yellow means wills pov and blue means mikes are u picking up what I am putting down

355 notes - Posted September 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Elmike breaking up bc they’re both gay only to be in love v the opposite gender versions of each other is so

462 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[beskar33]

Sorry if this is rude you don't have to answer! But I've never met anyone who has visual impairment like that. is it difficult to do normal stuff or even post online? and do you live alone or have someone to help? Have a good night friend

No biggie, Smalls. ;P Any time I mention my fucked up eyes I get a couple of questions so lemme just answer everything I get asked most commonly and I'll just point to this post as a reference for anyone else, if that's cool.

So. With my glasses on (think those thick fucking old-school cokebottles, like Bubbles from TPB) I can see semi-clearly through the center of my good eye, like a youtube video that's not HD but good enough quality to tell what's going on. I can see faces but generally don't remember them very well unless I've seen the person a lot over a long period of time. My peripheral is blurred to uselessness and I have no depth perception.

The fully blind eye I sometimes see streaks of light if I turn my head a certain way towards a bright light source, but otherwise nothing. I reflexively keep it semi-closed most of the time because my brain forgets it's there and I can't really control the muscles in it very well. Optic nerve got wrecked by glaucoma before they could put shunts in RIP.

I have accessibility controls on my phone and computer, so my version of Tumblr for example is very high contrast with giant letters. My phone reads out my texts and notifications when I have earbuds in. I have speech-to-text and voice controls too.

I'm good and very quick at typing on physical keyboards after writing for many years on them, I can do it while looking up at the screen most of the time. I read all the time on a Kindle with enlarged fonts too, since I can't see the print in most books very well anymore. I own a backlit magnifier for physical documents that's bulky and annoying as fuck but works in a pinch.

So nothing can stop me from consuming or posting terrible content.

I do live alone and manage quite well, though sometimes one of my sisters or my brother-in-law will come over and help me clean whatever I missed because I will occasionally spill something and not realize or there might be bugs that I couldn't see lol. Dust is another one I don't notice until it gets really bad so I try to just keep up with it each week.

But I cook just fine (took some practice). Just very careful when using knives, and when I pour things I make sure to feel the rim of the container I'm pouring into to gauge where the opening is. I shower, shave my own head with clippers, and trim my facial hair by feel. I don't really even need a lot of light to get most everyday tasks done when I'm at home.

I get around either with services like Lyft or walking with my cane and praying nobody runs me over. I take the cane with me everywhere because even in broad daylight things like stairs or curbs can be invisible to me, so I use the tip of the cane to quickly tap each step as I go so I don't break my neck, or I sweep/roll it as I walk to feel for dips in the ground.

I need it when in busy areas, and when I'm shopping too so I don't crash into a person or a display (it was a core memory ok I'm not letting that happen again). It's also a signal to others, especially drivers, that I might not be able to see them coming up and to gimme a honk or some shit if I don't acknowledge them.

It takes me a bit longer than most people to learn my way around an area but once I've gone the same route and back multiple times, I typically know where I'm supposed to go.

If I'm alone at a café or something and they have a menu on the wall, I literally just ask a random person in my vicinity to read it to me. Hell, I've asked people to read washing machine options to me at the laundromat, asked someone to compare product ingredients for me at the store etc..

I used to be super self-conscious and socially anxious about asking for help but now I have no fear haha. Honestly had very nice interactions with people and I love to chat and make people laugh if I can.

I guess since it's been like this as long as I can remember, I just got used to it. Certain things are more frustrating for sure and I've had my fair share of embarrassing moments but I'm generally a pretty happy guy and don't let many things get to me.

Life's what you make it, right? Peace.

[not-your-fucking-kacchan]

I SAW YOUR POST!!!

May I request comfort cuddles with naruto?

I LOVE NARUTO SMMSMSMMDMJDJFJF

Plsplspsls i adore the lil ray of sunshine and i would pick him over sasuke ANY day

Not that i font love our favourite goff emo kid but theres only enough room for one of us in konoha 🤨

Masterlist<3

Naruto x Reader

You sit alone in your room, the curtains closed and your door shut. Your bedroom was an absolute mess, crap littered all over your floor and your desks a mess.

It's the first day you've been back after a mission gone awry, and your twmper has bewn fizzing lately, every little inconvenience chipping away at your patience and your sanity.

One of your teammates, if you can even call them that, had fucked up.

He had fucked up so badly that he ended up giving away their position to the enemy, and they were ambushed. He then proceeded to blame you.

This idiot had told your team that you had left a trail, and were talking to loud, going as far as to say that you had betrayed the team, and that you were a traitor to Konoha.

Thankfully, the rest of the team knew otherwise, but you were absolutely livid. You saw red.

The fight was huge, screaming, crying, kicking, punching... it was chaos. The team was falling apart. But there's almost nothing more infuriating than being gaslit and blamed for someone else's wrongs.

When you finally got home you had torn your room apart, screaming and punching walls out of frustration. By the time you had finally calmed down, your flat was a mess. The walls were cracked and your belongings were strewn across the floor, drawers separated from their desks and thrown across the room.

It's humiliating to have a fucking temper tantrum like a child, but you couldn't help but be violently angry when his lie almost had you kicked from your village with the label of 'traitor' stamped onto your back. Now your team is weary of you. Your reputation has been damaged.

Currently, you lay in your bed, staring at the wall with tired, exhausted eyes, your room pitch black and cold as night. So when Naruto, your precious boyfriend of two years, walks into your appartment using his spare key, he's speechless for a minute. What the hell?

He had only come to check in on you since you hadn't come to see him after your mission, only to find you like this. His heart drops and his expression morphs into one of grief, feeling guilty for not having come seen you sooner, and not knowing what to say.

He simply closes the door behind him and by some miracle manages to make it to your bed, collapsing into the nest of blankets with you. He keeps the room dark, knowing that you prefer it, and that you'd probably want to take a nap.

The blonde's cuddles are out of this world. You've never felt anything quite as warm and comforting as his embrace, because he's just good like that. And when he slides his arms across your waist to pull you closer, resting a hand on your belly and pressing feather light kisses to your neck and shoulder, you don't complain at all.

Tense and strained muscles relax under his comforting touch and you instinctively let out a sigh of relief. He lights up at the response and cuddles you even closer than ever, and you dont see the way blue eyes flutter closed and his expression softens.

He barely says anything. Naruto knows you, and he knows you won't be able to talk about it without feeling like a burden, so he simply tells you he's glad that you're back, that he loves you, and that you can come to him to talk about anything when you're ready.

The rasp of his voice and his quiet tone, communicating that he doesn't want to disturb you has you smiling just barely, already in a much better mood.

How did you get so lucky?

"I love you, too. Thank you... 'm lucky to have you..."

Those words make his day. And his week. And his whole year. What man wouldn't be over the moon to hear that from the woman they love?

So when he cuddles you a little closer and you sleep a little better in his arms, you're not really surprised. And when you wake up, and your room is a little more tidy, the washing is done, and there's a cheery blonde making you breakfast, you fall even harder in love.

For the second time since you've come back, you cry. But they're tears of joy, and Naruto knows how grateful you are to him.

[everysongineverykey]

LISTEN alright shut up and listen cause i am thinking about skeletons and specifically skeletons and MUSIC and SOUND alright. in undertale and deltarune. imagine i am leaning against a cork board covered in pins and red string and papers with frazzled hair and rolled up sleeves cause there is SO MUCH here that might not mean anything but I DON'T KNOW.

okay. so. you've all seen that post, right? that one post that points out that bonetrousle is the background music of every single undertale trailer ever, and yet papyrus is the only major undertale character not to appear in deltarune yet? yeah, that's fucking weird! but listen close! isn't it ALSO weird that papyrus only has two themes and they're basically the exact same thing as each other? like so similar especially to begin with? and sans has four different themes! twice that! and sure they're mostly all the same melody but they're all audibly distinct from each other! and then he has one theme, megalovania, that has no trace of any leitmotif in it! i KNOW megalovania was originally written for homestuck or toby's earthbound hack or whatever but isn't it weird that it wasn't even modified at all to include even one familiar tune in it? maybe it's to symbolize that this sans you're fighting is no longer himself, because fighting is not something he would do naturally, he's only doing it now after the world has fallen apart! i dunno! it's weird!

and THEN you have the fact that sans' theme is the only undertale song that's also on the deltarune soundtrack. AND the fact that song that might play when you fight sans is the only song that's on the ut ost, but never actually plays in the game! like did we ever figure out what that song's whole deal was?? i don't think so!!

there are so many dots i am force-connecting here. the way that gaster is most often associated with sound and music and audio. mus.smile. garbage noise on the phone. his natural speech is not in normal text that can be read. the secret bosses, characters corrupted by him, are the only characters in the game with actual voice lines. and then the KICKER: the way his theme is weird like sans and papyrus' cause it's so simple, it's just a four-note arpeggio that is so often used as a bassline for so many songs such that you often cannot tell whether or not it means anything. he's everywhere. fitting for a man who was shattered across space and time!

and all this to say. the skeletons' themes are all pretty fucking weird in their own ways. one of sans' is on the ost but not in the game, papyrus has two that are basically the exact same and one is the bgm of all the ut trailers when he himself is noticeably absent from dr, gaster's theme is everywhere AND nowhere, hidden in a secret room inaccessible except through file editing. i could go on and on. sans apparently plays the trombone. papyrus hears the "strange whisper" of the echo flowers over the phone. all of gaster's musical themes- another him, darkness falls, gaster's theme, man- are on piano (kris also plays the piano). we could play the piano in undertale but not in deltarune. welcome to the sound test room! listen to all your favorite tunes. it was nothing but garbage noise. the skeletons speak in odd fonts. the roaring is the name for the apocalypse in this game. hell's roar bubbles from the depths. the knight, the roaring knight. susie does not listen. kris cannot be heard. we got an actual song with lyrics in deltarune. thinking. thinking.

[graveyard-society]

🌊 aiden's our life headcanon dump

felix & cove centric, however not all of these are completely original— i may have seen a post that has a similar headcanon to any of the ones mentioned.

cove would probably eat lemon slices for fun.

or would visibly cringe at the thought of eating a raw lemon and there's no in-between

felix reverting back into his middle school self or borderline "dudebro" mode when separated from friends, family and cove

like "hey man wassa?" instead of "heeey~ how's you?"

they do it ironically with people theyre close with and unironically with people they aren't close with

felix probably listens to glass animals to an unhealthy degree. favorite album is "how to be a human being"

cove, as most would agree is not that big on music

but consider that he listens to asmr alot? the ambient background noise kind.

obviously he still prefers the real thing over asmr though

cove definitely does enjoy acoustic covers of songs though

ukulele sing-alongs with cove and felix at the porch on a summer day ever since felix taught themself how to play one

felix singing cove to sleep (would recommend, i would like to think felix's voice is very heavenly)

felix, as a kid, didn't really like singing bc their voice did not fit the songs they listened to

they still sang though because its fun

cove seeing felix jam out to their music through his window.

however, when people hear felix sing songs that fit their voice its a whole "oh my goodness what the fuck"

cause it sounds so?? good??? woah.

cove, a good cook with a questionable workspace. or, the aftermath of the workspace in question.

a moment where you have to question if he ever put anything in the food that isn't supposed to be there

thankfully it never happened (yet?)

felix gave cove a scrapbook as a gift in the in-between of steps 2 & 3;

and they still continue filling it up far into the future (as in step 4 onwards)

probably made a new one when the first got filled.

prettiest pictures they've taken, or like super memorable ones hang up on a wall in their room

both of them very much love scented candles.

or just candles in general.

felix ends up staring at the flames in the middle of doing something and cove has to physically snap them out of it

idk that image is very funny

felix's handwriting ranges from "looks like a font" to "can't even tell what they wrote down bc of how bad it is"

after the castro siblings learn about their family, they watched movies instead of felix performing with lee;

after the first movie they proceeded to watch jaws ??

felix was very much upset when the megalodon died

everyone teases them about it there is no escape

cove has one bussin immune system

if he catches a cold it's probably gonna be gone in like,

the next day or two. and it confuses the shit out of everyone sm? i mean ok good for u but still how

also felix and plants. they just like plant.

i'd like to think that he and cove started a mini farm/garden when they got their own house

which obviously has white poppies in it.

[awsugar]

how is the schrödingers frank pic not frank tho?? like the lip ring looks a bit weird, but also it's at an angle we rarely ever saw pictures of, the hair could just be greasy sweaty messy, and the nose looks exactly like that one black and white pic (i think it's in yr princess tag?) of him reaching up towards something with long black hair and the white/black bead bracelet where u see his profile rly well

ok this post is brought to you in collaboration with @bbodysnatchers @valleysofechoes and @pitchforkred who all did detective work.

this really doesn't matter AT ALL but those of us who are convinced it's not him have reached PEAK fids in our attempt to prove that it's not him and there are like 50% of people who are convinced it IS him so i'm just gonna lay it all out.

so under the cut is why the guy in this pic is not frank

alright so first of all here's the post i made with this pic (and one other) in 2016 in the first place, for posterity or whatever idk. if you want it. i love to provide links.

i'm gonna go over the visual aspects of the pic that prove it's not him first and then get into the timeline discrepancies which i think make it impossible for it to be him.

1) frank ALWAYS tucked his fringe to the right during revenge, not the left.

2) we have never seen frank in that shirt. i'm like number one frank in stripes fan, that's not his shirt. (i'm starting with the basics)

3) like you said, the lip ring is wrong. if you zoom in, it appears to be a captive bead ring, which frank never wore. his lip ring was also tighter and i think smaller than that.

see it's more form-fitting.

4) the knuckle tattoos, while being similar, don't seem to say 'hallo'.

it's super hard to see, but i don't think there are two Ls crammed on that knuckle and i don't see the tails coming off it. it's a common font for traditional knuckle tattoos so just because it seems the same as frank's, i don't think that means they're his because i don't think it says the same thing and the pointer finger next to it doesn't look like an O.

5) that's not his nose and there are two pieces of evidence for this.

you mention that the nose in that pic is the same as this pic:

i don't think it's the same. first of all, i don't think you can compare a pic where his head is tilted up to a pic where the person is looking head on. but those are not his nostrils.

here is a regular frank profile for comparsion:

you can't see as much of his septum/inside of the nose as the person in the picture. also, if you look closely, that person's nose is slightly turned up at the end and frank's is completely round.

but that's not all! in the photo, the person's nose bridge is almost in line with the ridge of their brow. frank's ends below that and there is more of a dip before the brow.

as you can see, frank's is more angular and pronounced. in this case, the upward angle of his head in the photo doesn't matter because that's not going to change his actual face structure

6) as we know, frank no longer has lips due to his commitment to a life of heterosexuality. however, back in those days, he had slightly more of an upper lip than that person. revenge era frank was his pouty prime. and the person in the pic has almost no upper lip at all.

ok so that's it for why i don't think it even looks like frank visually.

i get why people think it's frank, because i assumed it must be him at first due to the knuckle tattoos, lip ring, long dark fringe, and, of course, being in a picture with gerard and mikey with all of those revenge frank characteristics, but that's just not his face.

so now timeline. here are some other pics from that night:

these aren't all of the pics from that night because tumblr will homophobically not let me add more than 10 photos to this ask and there is one more important pic to add below, but you can just take my word for it that frank isn't in any of them.

that girl in the pic there^ (as well as the one in the dj booth) is named sarah lewitinn or ultragrrrl. she's (was? not sure) a music writer, blogger, dj, etc.

she wrote a blog post on tuesday august 23rd 2005 about the party which was saturday august 20th 2005. she talks extensively about mikey and gerard. frank is not mentioned.

here's a photo of frank from august 13th 2005:

and the source for that photo with the date

i can't add another photo but i'm sure we're all familiar with what frank looked like at the 2005 vmas which were held on august 28th 2005. that was the length of his hair in august 2005.

SO. it is physically impossible for the man's hair in the photo in question to be frank's hair on august 20th 2005. it could not have grown that much in a week. so even if you don't see the facial discrepancies, i think this is hard proof that it's not him.

anyway thank you to my buddies that i shouted out at the beginning of this ask for helping me compile all of this and engaging in insanity with me. we are fucking crazy. but we are free <3

[cidnangarlond]

don't rb this

I was going to add on more to my post from this morning about the Tumblr hellsite high banner about how Tumblr can provide no tips for more engagement because artists really do try every trick in the book to get their more serious pieces seen and get no engagement but a jokey comic will always get more however I am not an artist (I doubt making gifs and edits for a decade counts as art) but I can speak on making gifs and edits. which never get engagement Ever unless it's like the Show Of The Month pretty edits with calligraphy font which this isn't to disparage those because any kind of complicated edit is hard work but literally it's just far more likes than rb's. unless it's the Show Of The Month then people will rb it all. also I'm here to complain about how like. listen I get sharing an impactful quote from a poem or book I get it but when you're constantly making compendiums of lines that are like #tender #yearning #love those lines of prose mean nothing anymore because it's so far removed from its source and diluted down so it's more palatable to a wider audience that they don't mean fucking anything anymore. which will definitely affect writing styles because people get so hung up on having this beautiful one-liners that their narratives be it in poetic form or otherwise are only made up of these single lines that together have no cohesive story or greater meaning which is great if you run a site dedicated to creative writing "write a story around this sentence" exercises but fucking awful if you want to make it into publishing one day. do you get what I'm saying. there are people on this site that water things down to its bare bones and strip away everything that made it good because they refuse to engage in something that will make them actually think. god I'm fucking sick of it and for what like why am I so angry about this but anyway

[ziracona]

Some Ko-fi messing around writing that I’ll eventually post all of here too, probably. The problem with ko-fi is it’s annoyingly hard to transport fonts if you write in something else originally >.>

.

It had been a long, painful trial, and Laurie was cold because of it.

Cold always settled into her bones now, when a trial went long and hard and painful. She didn’t really know why. She guessed maybe it was because she was getting numb; her body had been at this so long, maybe her mind was beginning to pack up and go, or had gotten so tired of lingering on pain, that after it processed the agony placed on it in a trial, it gave her a chill to take with her out of it.

That should have been comforting. Laurie had thought it was a bit, the first time she’d hypothesized that, but that had been a long time ago now too, and her dying system’s weak attempts to pity her had long since stopped being a source of solace.

Still, it was something to think about, a distraction. It was impossible to ignore it, and so she always burned back into existence after death in a trial shivering a bit from the cold, and that was still, if not nice, welcome.

Her mind was on that vague impression still as her feet solidified and she stepped tiredly onto the barren, familiar dirt around her lonely little campfire. At least it’s over for a few hours now, thought Laurie in exhaustion, and then, with venom, …Fucker.

It had been a trial with the one they called Ghostface—the big vile white mask that looked like a smirk even though it bent in the wrong direction, the even more vile man beneath it, with his suffocating cologne and whispered intrusions while he killed you that would settle in a mind for weeks and bring the urge to vomit with them. Those trials were always painful, but so were all trials, and it wasn’t why he was one of Laurie’s least favorites to go against. It was because he disgusted her, and she hated everything about him, and she hated everything he reminded her of. It was like…like the even worse version of her serial killer brother that lived in nightmares come to life, twisted even more grotesquely than her own head could have done it, which was saying a lot.

And she was angry.

Well, as much as she was ever anything now.

Maybe it would be better, said some tiny part of her she killed quickly before the sentence could get out, because no, no it would not be better. People were worse. Any people. There is no ‘better’. Just this, and God willing, someday death. Alone was as good as it got. No regrets to kill you twice.

Another wave of cold rippled down her spine, and Laurie wrapped her arms around herself and walked over to the fire to try and get warm, and then flung herself bodily backwards in alarm as she registered a body there.

FUCK! Fuck—was it there the whole time? she asked herself desperately, heart racing as she instinctively tore a sharpened chunk of scrap metal out of her pocket and leveled it at the thing.

What was that? Was it alive; was it moving; was it a person? Fuck—a killer? How? Why? No! No, it’s not fair! I already—all there is is suffering; you can’t! You can’t do this!

Anger and despair washed over her in a flood, and it had been some literal years since she’d felt any emotion above about a 22, so it choked her. The thing on the ground was hard to make out, which was strange, because she was close to it—but it was definitely a human being. Or, as human as the things in the fog were. Humanoid.

And then she saw the blood.

Carefully, Laurie edged to the right, so the body was between her and the fire mostly, and then moved closer, cautious, watching for signs of life or movement. Maybe it was dead. But that wasn’t enough blood to be sure.

Why can’t I tell what it is?

Whatever it—whoever, probably, it was, Laurie could say for certain she’d never seen them before. Caucasian, male, big—broad shoulders, much bigger than her, big enough to be a real threat in a fight, not a safe person. Muscular too, not just big; too many muscles, too strong. Not that tall though. It was hard to tell a lot else, including age, though, because his face was covered with some kind of mask, or…device?

Shit, there was something familiar about it too. Not a reverse bear trap though.

That had been her first impulse, seeing a chunky bit of metal over someone’s head, but. No, this was very different. And yet…there was something a little similar. It looked…mean. That wasn’t a very comprehensive thought process, but it was enough to make sense to her. It looked painful, and crude, but effective. Pig’s work? Pig was a woman, though. Even if she could have been wrong about that, she was not this big, not by a long shot. Victim, then? Another survivor?

Why the fuck would the Entity dump a random survivor at her campfire? It had never done that before, and Laurie had been here a couple of decades. But then, for that matter, why would it dump a killer?

Shit. Shit, I-I’m going to have to make decisions here.

She was close now. Still at a safe distance in case he was faking, and tried to lunge, but as close as she could be while keeping that. He looked…bad.

Not dying—not probably, anyway, but bad. The man was shirtless, boxers, no pants, and his legs and arms were a myriad of cuts and bruises and little burns—electrical, some of them, she was pretty sure, just from first-hand experience. Not big wounds—not trying-to-kill-you wounds. Little wounds. Hurt-you-for-fun wounds, she thought with a sinking feeling, bile rising in her throat, Torture wounds.

She had been in those shoes. It had been a while, but she had, and she had not forgotten it. Even if there was a time long enough for one to forget, it had not been that for her. And really, she knew quite well she never would be able to. That kind of thing carved in and scarred at best, went septic more often. Shit.

There was an odd feeling in her chest at the sight, and she knew it was one she used to know, but she couldn’t remember. It was unpleasant, though. A kind of sadness, or something like it. One she hadn’t really needed in a while. His chest was even worse, and with him laying on his side like he was, she could see his back hadn’t faired much better. There were a few deep cuts here, up along his ribs. And strange holes, like something had been drilled into him.

The description was too apt, and it made her shudder. Please don’t be what that is. Fuck.

He was not dead, though. Up close, she could see his chest slowly and shakily rising and falling. Not dead, not dying, but doing very poorly. It probably didn’t help that the thing on his head could only possibly make it difficult to breathe.

The device was much thinner than a reverse bear trap, but still a bit bulky. Thicker behind the skull, where it locked. There was a solid metal visor shaped to contour a face and strapped in tight, covering the man’s eyes like a very painful blindfold. The thing hooked into a mouthpiece below too, that covered his nose and mouth. There were slits in the nose, for air, but that was it, and it looked—was—painful and awful. Something like it could never have been pleasant, but it was made cruel, much, much heavier than it needed to be, too tight, disorienting, sharp on every edge. There was a thick shackle that went around his throat and hooked into the back of the mask, forcing his head rigid and immobile, and the whole thing made her sick to look at. His ears alone were free, which she was very sure must have meant his captor wanted him to be able to hear.

She could see brown hair on the bit of his head that wasn’t covered, and it and the surrounding skull were matted with dried blood. His wrists and ankles had shackles as well, but the ones on his feet were connected to nothing, whereas the ones around his wrists were still looped into heavy chain about three feet in length on each arm. It was part of why she’d thought he was a killer at first—at a glance she’d seen a large man, blood, a mask, and something that could have been a flail maybe by each hand.

But you’re not, she thought unhappily, surveying the unconscious stranger, You’re one of us. Or, something. I’ve never seen one of us end up like this outside a trial, but you can’t be one of them.

Shit, could he? Laurie had been here for years, years, and still, she had no idea how so much of this worked. Maybe killers were punished sometimes. Maybe even demoted. It seemed like a stretch, but so, her mind was informing her, was the concept of her trusting anyone who showed up under suspicious circumstances to definitely not be an enemy. And they did sometimes look like they were in pain. The Trapper had metal pieces sticking out of him, the Spirit was wounded, the Hag emaciated, the Wraith scarred. It was…possible… Too possible…

It could even be a trap. It could—it could—could be lure. He might not even be hurt. Just wants me to get close, so he can lash out and grab me and drag me down and crush me under him and kill me, and— She fought to slow down and take a breath, fight the panic back. It was in her blood now, though. Careful, ready to jump pack, she kicked him in the leg to see if he would react. He made a very, very faint sound, but it was convincingly like someone unconscious would make. Still. Doesn’t mean he’s not a killer. Unconscious doesn’t mean anything, except you can get closer. She bent and did so, slowly, nerves so on edge she was ready to snap at the first unexpected sound. He might be faking. You can’t be sure. Be careful. Shit, shit, he might be. He didn’t look like he was, but she’d been tricked by things she thought were dead before. It’s okay it’s okay. Calm down. You’re not hurt yet. You can win. Even if he’s an enemy, you have a weapon. You can get him first. Bury your stake into his head, where there’s that little gap between the visor and the mouth piece. He won’t see it coming; serves the bastard right serves all of them right every last mother fucker deserves to—I would in a heartbeat—I—

Her hand was raised above him she realized suddenly, makeshift knife gripped so hard it was painful, and realizing what she’d been about to do she jerked her hand back and fall onto the seat of her bellbottoms, breathing raggedly.

Carefully, slowly, once she felt like her brain was hers again, she turned her head to look at the still body of the man. He was breathing more shallowly now, slower. Weak.

Maybe he was dying now.

He needs someone to help him, she thought emptily, watching blood seep painfully slowly out of his side and into the dirt that had become a dark bloody mud beneath him, And someone is here, but no one will.

She still remembered that too. Remembered banging on the door of a house with lit windows. An old man seeing her screaming for help on his porch, and shutting the blinds. That last night she’d really been alive, that first night with Michael haunting her. Before they’d both been sent to hell.

…

Hesitantly, Laurie reached out a hand and touched him. One finger, against his chest. He registered it a little, made a pained sound and stirred weakly, but didn’t wake. She sucked on her lip, and then bit it, and when it bled, she forced herself to stand up, and walked to her little pile of supplies by the fire, selected two medkits, and walked back.

“Okay,” whispered Laurie to herself, opening a kit and laying out materials, surveying the work ahead. Some of the cuts were small enough they’d stop bleeding soon on their own, which was good. Blood loss was the real concern, so if she focused on the deeper ones on his torso…Five? Six, one on his back. Two on his side, one on his chest, two on his lower abdomen. Worst is the one on his left side, followed by the one on his back, then the lower abdomen cuts. There’s a couple deeper ones on his arms and shoulders too, and one at least on his legs, but none are as bad. I can go in order, and it should be okay. He’s weak, but he’s not on death’s door.

Course decided, Laurie reached out and started to work. Pushed him onto his back, then dunked a chunk of cloth in one of her bottles of clearing reagent and wiped away some blood with the makeshift rag, then patted it dry and started to suture. It was lucky for her he was unconscious. Lucky for us both, she thought, glancing at what she could see of his face as he jerked a little and let out a muffled moan when the needle went in, It would hurt even more that way.

Laurie was pulling the thread through her first stich when the left hand on the body she’d thought was unconscious shot out in a fist and crashed into the side of her skull.

She went reeling sideways off of him and slammed into the ground, dazed, saw him try to roll over after her and reach blindly out to try and grab her, and flung herself further back to get out of reach just a second too late. His right hand caught onto her shirt and dragged her back towards him on the ground, and she shrieked and kneed him in the stomach. The man gave a muffled cry of pain through the mask, but kept his grip on her, and pulled back his left hand to swing at her again, and with as much speed as she’d ever been able to muster, Laurie tore her shard of metal from her back pocket with a yell and swung it, stopping herself just shy of burying it deep in his throat and keeping the metal pressed in almost far enough to draw blood, and he froze.

“Okay,” panted Laurie, mind still trying to catch up, adrenaline pumping. Beside her, the man had gone rigid, but he hadn’t let go of her either. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I have to to protect myself. I’m n—” He made a bid for the knife with his left hand, but she was faster this time, and caught his arm in her free hand and dug the knife in far enough to draw blood and he froze again. “Stop!”

By now she was breathing raggedly, but he was doing even worse, with the small air flow to the mask at all, and he’d aggravated almost every cut on him struggling with her. She was wired from being punched in the head, and enormously frustrated with him, but watching how rapidly his ripped up chest was rising and falling, she felt an ounce of pity for him, and some of the anger abated.

“Stop,” she repeated less venomously, still trying to catch her breath, “I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not the Pig.”

He had already been unmoving, but he became a different kind of still at the words, like his rapid thinking had paused this time too. His head tilted just the tiniest bit, and then he stopped as it aggravated the pressure against his neck. Feeling guilty, Laurie pulled the blade back a little—still close enough to be felt, but back against the skin, instead of in it.

“I’m not,” she repeated, “Listen to my voice. She spoke to you, right? We can’t sound the same.”

There was no response at all from the man below her, but Laurie took that as some kind of a good sign, because at least it hadn’t provoked another attack.

“I know, you’re scared,” she continued, “And you’re hurt, and disoriented, but I’m not your enemy. I’m trying to help you. You’re bleeding pretty badly, and you need someone to stop that, or you could die. I can help you. But you have to trust me. Okay?”

Very slowly, she pulled the knife back. Waiting for any sign of violence from the man. He stayed perfectly still, so she straightened up to her knees and lowered her arm. The instant she did, the man shot forward like a spring-loaded trap and almost clocked her in the face again, but she got lucky and he guessed wrong exactly where her head was, swinging blind, and with an angered cry she knocked her elbow into him and sent him back against the earth, knife to his throat again.

“God damn it!” she shouted at him as he froze up again, “Stop that! I’m not your enemy! I’m not the one who did this to you!”

He was still breathing too fast, shaking a little. Adrenaline, fear? Both? Rigid again, afraid to move. Because you do think I’ll kill you…

She was torn for a second. A part of her, an old one, wanted to convince him. But a more worn in version was saying He tried to kill you three times. He’ll try again. It’s not safe. and that was hard to argue with.

Shit. Okay. What, then? I can only…