#but i have faith in him and believe he's pursuing good

[voidingintotheshout]

Islamic perspective:

First, for what it’s worth may Allah ease your suffering regarding going through such a tragedy. As for the Islamic perspective, it’s a little multifaceted, but in general the way I see it it seems to vibe with what you were saying. Like some Americanized Muslims have a different perspective on this that more mirrors Christianity, which I’ll get to in the next paragraph, but in general, Islam has a view that a loving God can still exist in a world, where bad things happen, and doubting your faith, because a bad thing happens, is usually a sign in Islam that you didn’t have much faith to begin with.

In modern Christianity (20th century and beyond) as practiced in America, There is an idea that I call “God as a micromanager”. Essentially, it’s as if they believe God is kind of like a helicopter parent that will not intervene and micromanage your affairs as long as you’re doing appropriate things, but as soon as you might do something that could hurt someone else or yourself in a tragic way they believe God would immediately intervene and prevent you from hurting yourself or others, and thus if someone hurts or suffers, then clearly, God has failed them. Like the helicopter parent on the playground who is willing to sit on the sidelines until the child is a little too excited and is about to run into traffic and then obviously the helicopter parent will run and stop that from happening. In Islam, the big thing is that Allah has given people free will, which means that they are free to do good and bad things. Not to shock anybody, but not all people care about being good. Not all people are concerned about how much suffering they cause. Not all people are concerned about whether they do things that benefit others. Some doctors are only concerned about clout and a paycheck. Some doctors are concerned about making people healthy. Islam creates the rulebook for what God expects but not everybody is even interested in looking at the rules. In Islam, when it says that hard times are a test, what I’ve gathered that it means is that it asking if that difficult time causes you to turn towards Allah or turn away from him? It’s for this reason obviously that Islam can say that sometimes the hardest test for Muslims are good times because you don’t feel the need to do your prayers if things are going well and that’s why sometimes success can be a harder test than poverty. If you’re having rough time, and you immediately want to turn towards Allah/HaShem/God, then in terms of Islam, that is a test that you passed. Alternatively, if you turn away from Allah during a hard time, then that’s a test that you failed. It’s a situation that Allah would be monitoring to see how you react, but he wouldn’t intentionally cause suffering just to get a reaction out of you. The world inherently has suffering, because some people pursue pleasure without worrying about how those actions affect other people. Some people just like having fun and getting high and they don’t necessarily care if their high supports a drug cartel. Some people just wanna buy some cheap stuff at Walmart and they don’t care whether it’s made by sweatshop or slave labor overseas because they just wanted a cute T-shirt, or whatever. I’m not immune to these kinds of things. Sometimes the suffering is happening intentionally at the hands of a CEO, and sometimes suffering is happening at the hands of consumers who don’t care enough about the consequences to their actions. Like I know that factory farming is bad and that animals raised in a kosher/Halal method are given a better quality of life and death but if I choose not to buy that more expensive meat than I am kind of responsible for suffering that might be happening because of my purchase and I’ll need to answer for that someday.

I hope that this is an OK addition, but I feel like it’s a perspective that may not be obvious to some but in summary, Free will means free Will whether it hurts people or not. And just because some thing is a test doesn’t mean that the teacher created the test it might be something that is a reflection of who you are.

Finally, I hope that everyone who is dealing with suffering gets direction towards an easing of that suffering, and I hope that everyone Who feels triggered because of the suffering that they endured at the hands of religious people can also find an ease of that suffering. Anything that gives people power can inherently be misused because people have free will, and not everyone uses their free will well. 

This is perhaps a cruel feeling to have but I am made almost angry by people who “doubt their faith” just because a bad thing happened to them.

You always knew it happened! You are an adult! You know horrific accidents happen, innocent people are hurt, fawns die in the woods without witnesses! But as soon as it’s not “somebody” and it’s you, you stop believing in a loving God?

If you say “I can’t reconcile all the bad things that happen on Earth with a God who is good” I get it.

If you say “I can reconcile all the bad things that happen on Earth with a God who is good” I get it.

If you say “I can reconcile all the bad things that happen on Earth, but I can’t reconcile all the bad things that happen to me with a God who is good,” I dont understand. I’m uncomprehending.

[botanautical]

'We all yearn for the woods. That's why every fellow on this island wants to settle down near a tree - just one will do.'

[stergeon]

at some point i will figure out how to write the post-canon, post-empire edelgard autonomy fic of my dreams. it just feels like a very big task and maybe like with playing the dane, i’m simply not old and traumatized enough to manage it yet.

but my vision is thus: it’s set years (realistically, decades) after the end of crimson flower, when everything has gone as right as it can possibly go. fódlan is thriving. the social reforms have taken effect. the nobility system is nearly eliminated, if not entirely so, with titles made merely symbolic. social mobility, welfare, and prosperity are high. there’s an explosion in arts and culture and technology. brigid and duscur have gained independence; relations with sreng and almyra are much improved; heck, maybe they've even figured it out with dagda. in my most idealistic version, leicester and faerghus would eventually be ceded back to become autonomous regions, essentially disbanding the adrestian empire. rule is no longer hereditary, but merit-based. there's a roadmap for the future, and everything is on track—and more than that, people at all points on the power spectrum have already seen it bear fruit. with or without edelgard, it will be pursued. there's buy-in. they believe.

of course, it's not perfect—nothing can be—but edelgard's vision has been fulfilled. the people are empowered. humanity is free. fódlan has healed.

and somehow, she's had enough time to resolve her goals outside of politics, too. those who slither in the dark have been eradicated. edelgard and lysithea's second crests have been successfully removed, allowing them to live if not full lives, then substantially longer ones than they would have with their twin crests intact. who knows—maybe she finally gets around to having that wedding.

point for point, every item listed in edelgard's manifesto has been checked off. the ghosts of her past have been laid to rest. she can finally take off her crown. she can finally pursue the quiet, humble life she's wanted for so long. she can finally breathe.

... but can she?

edelgard is nothing if not driven. her intelligence, vision, and sheer willpower allowed her to plan and execute a revolution against two countries and the most powerful institution on the continent, all while she was still a teenager. as royalty, her life was never truly hers even before she became heir to the adrestian throne, with all the additional baggage of survivor's guilt and the desire for vengeance and her need to ensure nothing that happened to her can ever happen to anyone else, ever again.

so what happens when that drive has no outlet? what happens when someone who has been constantly in motion, constantly working and planning and preparing every spare second of every day since she was fourteen years old, suddenly has to stand still? what happens when someone whose hands have been bound for so long—first literally in the dungeons of enbarr, then by the weight and responsibilities of her crown—is set free?

being edelgard, she would step away from the throne, no matter how hard it was for her to give up control. she's always been focused on the endgame, and she knows that if she doesn't let go, she'll be setting the wrong tone for fódlan's future. she's too devoted to that endgame to cling to power much longer than she needs to, though i could see her making some excuses and trying to iron out just a few more things to buy herself some more time to mentally prepare before she's done for good.

but who would she be then? who is the woman without the crown? what becomes of a machine once it is no longer needed, when it has made itself obsolete? what about when that machine is a person with legs and arms and an innate unwillingness to gather dust on a shelf?

what happens when you get everything you want? what happens when all your wanting has been for others to thrive, and now you have to want only for yourself? how do you discover who you are when you've spent decades being everything for everyone else? how do you find meaning again? how do you find purpose?

after a lifetime of devotion and passion and movement, how do you learn to sit with yourself, and be quiet, and be still?

gosh, i would love to meet her. i would love to pick her brain. but boy, i do not envy the work that girl has to do.

[kitasgloves]

Closer

tracklist

— ♬ "I drink the honey inside your hive. You are the reason I stay alive"

— ♬ Sex Addict! Fyodor Dostoevsky x Reader, NSFW, female reader, graphic depictions of unsafe sex & sexual obsession, brief mentions of masturbation, stalking & somnophilia, psychological manipulation, lobotomy (yes, fr), manga spoilers for Fyodor's ability, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, 3.7k words, no beta

— ♬ NOTE: I DO NOT CONDONE, ROMANTISIZE, OR SEXUALIZE WHAT IS DEPICTED IN THIS STORY. EVERYTHING IS A WORK OF FICTION. READER'S DESCRETION IS ADVISED.

Faith can make an individual resilient. Faith provides hope to the hopeless. And faith can give purpose to those who seek. Faith in a powerful being's existence is common among humanity. Humans have the liberty to believe in any kind of higher being they create with their minds. Humans owe their existence to gods, goddesses, or unfathomable beings. They offer their devotion and faith towards them and serve them respectfully.

Fyodor Dostoevsky thinks that every country has their own god and that god represents the people's beliefs. God shows their distinction between good and evil, but sometimes the line of distinction gets blurred. Fyodor believed he had faith. He's convinced that he's abundant of it. He can identify the difference between good and evil at a young age. And he chose goodness to pursue and to engrave into his motives. However, as he grew older, he learned that goodness isn't often achievable.

Some individuals perform evil acts for the sake of goodness, and some people overlook their horrid actions and focus on their righteous intentions. In a world where cruelty thrives among humans, being benevolent becomes a challenge. Fyodor viewed people as sinful and foolish after giving in to their depraved acts. He was disgusted, and he equally pitied those who suffer for the wrongdoings of others. A sense of justice blooms in Fyodor's chest. He longs to be the one who would save his country, he desires to be the Saviour of the world.

He could be this era's Jesus Christ. However, he doesn't think that dying for the sins of others is ideal. Fyodor believes that he must eradicate those who are unworthy to be a part of humanity and exhume the remaining goodness of humanity. For years, Fyodor has dedicated his life to rid the earth of filthy sinners. To think that he has died and yet resurrected various times solidifies his belief to be this world's only Saviour.

Fyodor has witnessed so much bloodshed, degeneracy, and incomprehensible evil that he becomes deprived of what is good. He has been away from the hold of goodness and he's slowly becoming a stranger to it. All he cared about and clung to was his own beliefs, he's convinced that it would be enough to carry on with his duty.

To have encountered various faces in his prolonged lifetime, your face becomes the most prevalent of all. Fyodor initially thought that it was your beauty, he is drawn to beauty when exposed to it. Your glistening eyes full of light, your tender skin, the harmonious tone of your voice, and the smell of your natural scent invited him to get closer.

You were a decent civilian. An individual with various thoughts, emotions, and feelings. And a woman with an inviting appearance. Fyodor laid his eyes on you for the first time at a humble café he had recently discovered. He remembered to be the beginning of Spring. He can recall that day in extreme detail. He silently sipped his tea when you walked into the café with that gorgeous sundress and a pocketbook in hand. His throat felt momentarily dry when he observed you. He took note of the drink and pastry you ordered. He finds himself smiling when you choose a table that is near his. And he watched you as you read your pocketbook in comfortable silence.

The attraction to you at first glance almost compelled him to approach you, yet Fyodor held himself back. He decides to quietly observe you and get a sense of what kind of person you are. He effortlessly gathered all the information he required. All it took was to follow you home and a quick snoop inside while you slept. He absorbed every detail about you, from your favorite music to your deepest insecurities. Fyodor knew it all without even approaching you, he reserved that official encounter with you for the precise timing.

Watching you from afar seems so lovely. He adored the tenderness that your existence exhibited. Fyodor noticed everything about you despite the distance. The shade of your lipstick, the slightly chipped nail polish on your nails, the shining necklace around your stunning neck, and even the skin that your dress is slightly exposed. Fyodor can feel his flesh craving for yours, he is taken aback by the passionate yearning at the beginning, but he thinks that it must be natural.

An infatuation is natural, Fyodor has experienced it several times before. However, with you, it seems unusual. His infatuation with you brought this burning sensation buried within his skin. His eyes tended to betray him as he glanced lower at your breasts. He would swallow at the sight of your bare legs exposed during a hot day. And before he realizes it, he has formed some sort of...erotic craving for you.

Fyodor was disgusted by the call of the flesh. The sin of lust came across as the filthiest to him. And yet, he finds himself victim to it. As repulsed as he was, Fyodor made attempts to rid of this sexual temptation by pleasuring himself. However, no matter how many times he has stroked his length or reached the most earth-shattering orgasms, the desire never goes away. What was worse was that Fyodor kept fantasizing about you the more he masturbated.

The mind conjures the filthiest things when given the chance. Fyodor would stroke his cock to the fantasy of your hands replacing his, your soft hands pumping his length while gazing innocently up at him. You would be settled between his legs with your hand wrapped around his shaft. Fyodor throws his head back as he imagined your lips kissing the tip of his dick before slowly swallowing his length. His hand pumped faster as he imagined the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat as you gazed up at him through teary eyes. Fyodor chants your name at his approaching orgasm. He reaches his sweet release with the fantasy of you swallowing all of his seed.

When he would open his eyes and realize the mess he has made, Fyodor would turn so upset with himself. He was losing track of his mission, his purpose. It's people who fall for the call of the flesh who fail the most. You have infested his mind with these lustful fantasies and crawled your way into his heart. Fyodor tries to ignore the pleading of his desires to consume him, but the longer he suppresses his urges, the more it grows worse.

You accidentally bumped into a tall and slender man with raven hair inside your favorite bookstore. The books in your arms almost fly out of your hold if the man didn't steady you with his cold hands on your exposed shoulders. You looked up and shuddered. The man was gazing intently at you before giving you a polite smile.

"I apologize, I was not properly looking at my path"

"Oh, it's fine!"

"Hm, if I may, you have a remarkable taste in literature"

The man spoke with a prominent Slavic accent as he pointed at the books you huddled against your chest. You blinked and smiled.

"Thank you! They're by my favorite authors"

"It is rare to encounter someone with refine taste, may I know your name?"

"I'm [Surname] [Name]"

"You may call me Fyodor"

Your face bloomed with color when Fyodor delicately reached for your hand and brought them to his lips, giving it a tender kiss. Fyodor strikes you as a man with elegance. His movements seemed calculated. And his gaze offered a mystery that enticed your curiosity. Fyodor invited you to a café to discuss and share common interests in books. You were impressed with how many authors he knows. Judging from his choice of words, Fyodor seemed intelligent. His face looked incredibly majestic too. It was difficult not to be attracted to a man like him.

Fyodor reveled at the way you easily fell for his charms. The way you would gaze up at him through your thick lashes and clench your thighs whenever he talked almost made him laugh. He can feel his pants tighten as you slowly lean closer to him, his eyes capturing the delectable sight of your cleavage. Fyodor wanted to undress you so bad and all he is waiting for is the perfect moment.

"Fyodor, do you enjoy tea?"

"I do, my dear"

"Well, I have an array of it at home from different countries, would you like to try them with me?"

"That would be delightful"

The moment you invited Fyodor to your home, your fate changed forever. You could barely put the kettle on the stove when the man approached you from behind and wrapped his arms around your figure. Before a question could leave your lips, he has already leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was fueled with urgency. Fyodor's hands felt the fabric of your dress as he pressed you against the kitchen counter. Fyodor lapped on your lips and nibbled on your neck with hunger. You were left breathless with the way his hands roamed shamelessly all over your body. He grabbed your ass and squeezed your breasts. When he pulls away to give a proper look at your debauched face, he smirks darkly.

"Shall we continue in your bedroom?"

Fyodor doesn't dare waste his time as he poured all of his efforts into fucking you thoroughly. He placed you in several positions as he greedily stole orgasm after orgasm from you. He devoured you like you were his first and final meal. He pressed your head down against the pillows as he fucked you from behind. His cock would stretch you viciously during missionary. When he grew tired, he would grab your hair and force your mouth on his cock while his hand trailed down to play with your clit. Fyodor has fucked that innocent look out of your face.

You let him violate you. You let him desecrate you. You let him penetrate you. You let him complicate you. Fyodor wasn't finished until you're utterly destroyed. And he left you like that. The moment your eyes fluttered shut as he got done cumming in your cunt, he collected his clothes and abandoned you without offering an ounce of aftercare. Fyodor felt pleased and convinced that his lustful fantasies of you would finally disappear now that he had satisfied the call of his flesh. However, the moment he was finally alone, he felt a heavy weight on his spirit.

Fyodor thinks about what he has done and realizes he's not satisfied. His thoughts lingered back to when his cock was nestled inside of you as he drew out every breathless moan of his name from your lips. To his horror, he learns that his desire will never disappear if you continue to exist and tantalize him. Fyodor almost felt sick at the revelation. He felt like he had broken apart his insides and he had no soul to tell. This momentary self-loathe swallows him as he buries his face against his palms. Fyodor, in a state of emotional distress, pulled on his hair and aggressively bit on his nails until it bled. He couldn't bear to succumb to his carnal urges when he must carry on his righteous deeds. 

He must find a solution. And yet the only thing that works for him is for something to help him get away from himself. Yes, that's it. He wasn't being himself and he would never be himself if he was in this body. Fyodor finds himself wandering among the dangerous and dark streets to find someone who will be a sacrifice. One fateful thug tries his luck to rob him only to be met with Fyodor smiling. With one pull of the trigger, Fyodor's body drops to the pavement. Suddenly, the thug screams in agony as he feels the pain of his skin tearing apart. The screams echoed in the street before it abruptly stopped.

Fyodor returns to his hideout with a refreshed feeling inside of his new body. He tries to fall back into his routine when he has another fateful encounter with you at the café. He clenches his fists and steers his eyes away. However, he doesn't miss the way your face dropped. You ignored him and sat at a table further away from him and read your book. Fyodor was unable to resist as he let his eyes slowly wander back to your figure.

Fuck, you looked good. Your dress was cut shorter, and your soft legs were exposed. Fyodor licks his lips at the sight. You were all dolled up in your usual look as you focused on your book and sipped on your drink. Dismissing the heed of his desires seems futile as Fyodor feels his pants go tight again.

He wants to fuck you like an animal. He wants to feel you from the inside. He wants to fuck you like an animal. Fyodor could no longer deny himself. He wants to shove his cock into your pussy and ram into you until you bled. He wants to feel your warm and wet walls welcome him as if he was made to belong inside of you. He could no longer refuse the fact of how flawed he is. His whole existence is flawed. And yet he's convinced that you get him closer to God.

With every sinful tug on his soul by your body, Fyodor finds himself clinging to his faith. The faith that he will be forgiven and cleansed. God forgives all, doesn't he? If one does wish to repent and seek forgiveness from the almighty, then he shall find it. Fyodor quickly clasped his hands together and spoke a prayer in his mother tongue.

You peered up from your book and found Fyodor approaching your table and sitting across from you with a smile. Everything ends up with you and him in your bedroom as previously. You let him fuck you senselessly until you felt like your insides could tear apart. Fyodor is ravished at the moment of burying his seed deep inside you every time. He's constantly folding and molding you into various positions that could bring you to heaven and back. He'll have you with your back arched as he greedily fucked you. He'll make you lie upside-down at the foot of the bed as he fed you his cock. And he'll leave your thighs shuddering so much from fingerfucking you.

This all quickly fell into a routine. Fyodor would approach you for sex and then leave wordlessly after. He'll kneel and pray for forgiveness before doing it all again. For some reason, he was unable to stop himself. He thought of doing the same things to somebody else, but it would only spark contempt. It was only you he saw was worthy of sharing his filth. No matter how many times he has changed from body to body, he will always long for your body the same.

Fyodor had a feeling that you understood his urges. If you didn't, then why do you keep inviting him each time to ruin you? It fills him with pride and pleasure to see you submissive and trained to be his personal fucktoy. He had manipulated you effectively to feed his desires. He made sure to have you prioritize his pleasure over yours. To have you so obedient whenever he'd force you on your knees to take his cock or to not cum until he has brings a wicked smile to his features.

All this longing for your body was probably because of his prolonged loneliness. His isolation from society felt necessary for his mission to save humanity, he needed to focus. Perhaps he has been stressed for so long that's why he would treat you so roughly in bed, but you always took him like a good little slut. Fyodor thinks you're slowly pulling him away from God and stripping him of his faith. He keeps forgetting to repent every time he's done fucking you. But it was no worry, he's sure God could understand him, right?

God might have sent you to him as a blessing in disguise! He saw his child suffering and offered him relief. Yes, that's it. Everything made sense now. You're meant for him, and only for him. Just as Eve was made for Adam. You're here to take what he's giving you. Yes, of course, everything is so clear now.

You can have his isolation, you have the hate that it brings. Fyodor made sure to separate you from others who could potentially take you away from him. He must have your focus solely on him. He made you cut ties with friends and family and even made you quit your job to stay at his secret place. There you would always wait for him to return and bring him pleasure.

You can have his absence of faith. Fyodor is sure he's straying away from his godly beliefs. How could he remember to say a prayer when his mind is occupied with lewd memories and fantasies of you? Every time your cunt welcomed his cock, his mind with go blank except for the sensations it brought. You have rendered him faithless and filled his head with filth instead.

You can have his everything. Fyodor has grown unhealthily obsessed with you. That initial infatuation had led him to this path of debauchery. Every moment he's seeking you and the pleasure only you can give him. You take him so fucking well that you deserve everything he has to offer. His time, his devotion, his affection, and all you had to do was be a good girl as he'll make sure you're treated well.

Fyodor has lost track of his purpose. All his plans were getting delayed. He was unable to resist a good fuck when you were displayed on his bed. However, you're not completely free from your independent thoughts as you would ask him questions if you can go outside or see your family. He'd always reassure you that it would be soon knowing that soon would never arrive. Sometimes, it would seem as though you have managed to fuck out every logical bone in his body as he starts to function on his sexual desires alone. What an accomplishment you have achieved of fucking the Fyodor Dostoevsky dumb.

You tear down his reason. It's your sex that he can smell. You make him perfect. You have helped him become somebody else. Fyodor doesn't need a change of body when he's with you. He knows you'd welcome him always between your legs. You'd scream his name until your voice would grow hoarse. You'd let him hold you after he has exhausted you to the point of unconsciousness. Even when you slept, it wasn't enough. He thought how wonderful you were to still take him in your sleep.

He wants to fuck you like an animal. He wants to feel you from the inside. He wants to fuck you like an animal. His whole existence is flawed but you get him closer to God. With every thrust of his hips and every time his cock kisses your cervix, you bring him so much closer to God with how heavenly you felt.

Fyodor's head grew hazy as though he was living in a dream. He knows everything he's experiencing with you is real. He lived blissfully for a month until you approached him one evening. You had glassy eyes when you demanded to leave. You're beginning to get suspicious, it took you long enough though. Fyodor predicted this, but he can't afford to let you walk out the door.

"Please, Fyodor! Let me go! I must see my family—"

You bite your lip shut when Fyodor laughed mockingly at you. He walked over to you and caressed your cheek with a malicious smile.

"So, you want to end this relationship with me?"

"This...what we have isn't a relationship"

"Oh, how awfully wrong you are, [Name]"

"You're only using me! For...for sex!"

"That doesn't mean I don't love you, mоя дорогая"

You angrily peeled Fyodor's hand away from your cheek, this makes him frown immediately. You couldn't take it anymore as you marched towards the exit. How stupid you felt for falling for this wicked man's schemes. He didn't love you, he's only obsessed with your body! You can't tolerate being treated as a sex object for his own sexual gratification. However, before your hand could grab the handle of the door, you felt a pang of pain from behind your skull before your vision went black.

Fyodor has gently finished wrapping fresh bandages around your head before gently placing a kiss on your forehead. As he gazed at you, he smiled at the fact that you had ceased having those thoughts of escape. You still moaned his name the same when he fucked you, if anything, it appears as though you have welcomed him even more than before. Fyodor couldn't help but grin. All he needed to do was create minor adjustments to your brain and you finally gave in to your true nature: to submit to him.

Perhaps being this world's Savior wasn't his time yet, he must wait for a few more years or even centuries to continue this journey. But for now, Fyodor is content with you. For as long as you remain on this earth, he shall never let you go. Here in his hold, you must stay. He'll make sure you're taken care of while you take care of his carnal needs. Fyodor hums as he strokes your bandaged head lovingly, he rests his cheek against your temple.

"Through every forest, above the trees. Within my stomach, scraped off my knees"

He recites. You listen to him vacantly. He reaches to gently grab your chin before tilting your face upwards to him. Fyodor hums before leaning down to kiss you briefly on the lips.

"I drink the honey inside your hive. You are the reason I stay alive"

He finishes, and a crooked smile appears on your face. Fyodor grins to himself before his slender hand starts to snake up your skirt.

©kitasgloves (do not steal or copy)

[r-lestrcnge]

Listening to Sophia attentively, he thought upon her words and what he knew of her so far. It was not very much; her name, blood status and general personality traits, which so far he had found admirable. It would interest him to discover her allegiance, though it would make no difference to the cause itself - she was not Death Eater material, and he had no design to bring her into the ranks or put her to any other wartime use. But that did not mean she had no purpose. Rabastan was a logical man. But he also had great faith, believing in fate and the correct placement and function of lives. He did not consider it a coincidence that their paths had crossed, as insignificant as the fact may have been.

"Loyalty and conscientiousness are excellent qualities. My wife and I will be hiring additional staff soon. Do you like children? We will need a nanny in the new year." Far be it for him to steal Alara's assistant, but there was no harm in discovering her answer. It would perhaps be sensible to find someone with more experience, perhaps also allied to their side of the war. But he and Alecto planned to be involved with the babies in their first months. There would be enough time to see whether she was a good fit, and plenty for Alara to find a replacement - if they chose to pursue her as an option.

"Yes, I'm well. Thank you" she confirmed. Humming along as she got on with other duties around their conversation.

"Alara is amazing, she has been my friend since school and she is great to work with. I'm happy here. I mean, it pays the bills and all that. I just don't see it as a long term thing, Alara knows that. Right now though, I simply don't know what the next move would be. So for now, yeah I like it. Alara got me out of a rut by offering my this job, is was risky, especially as she had literally only just opened, so for me I have to be committed to helping her succeed whilst I'm here. It's the least I could do. '

[cinnamostar]

01: self-fulfilling prophecy 

part two.

pairing : jisung x gn!reader

summary : han jisung, the man who is incapable of maintaining a relationship for more than a few months. han jisung, the man who is in complete denial that maybe he is the problem. han jisung, the man who has convinced himself he isn’t meant for love.

wc : 8.5k

cw : not proof read, nonidol!au, alcohol/drinking, sadness, angst, arguing, cursing, some cute stuff. plz let me know if i missed anything.

a/n : likes, reblogs, and feedback is much appreciated!! not too confident on this one because idk, i feel like the dialogue isn’t well executed, but let me know what you think. please enjoy!

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

Jisung didn’t exactly have the best track record when it came to romance. He never did anything exceedingly horrendous, he always remained faithful in each relationship he had, but they never lasted long. He simply didn’t know how to be a good partner, always too focused on his own needs to the point that his selfishness turned into emotional neglect for the other. 

It’s not that he didn’t like the people he dated. He genuinely adored them for who they were, yet he always found himself heartbroken and confused at the end of each relationship when they would all voice the same exact reasonings on why they were ending it. 

“I just don’t feel like you care about my feelings.”

“It feels like you don’t even like me enough to put in the effort to make this work.”

“I don’t feel like a priority in your life.”

“I swear you forget we’re even in a relationship.”

“You’re too focused on yourself and everything else to even make time for me.”

Like clockwork, a few months would pass by and his partner would sit him down for the break up talk. It was exhausting. He was clueless, not having any idea what he was doing so wrong even though he would always receive a list of reasons each time. In his eyes, he was doing the best he could, but perhaps his best was not enough. 

Of course he cared for their feelings! Of course he liked them, he could’ve sworn he was doing his damnedest. Not a priority? That was ridiculous, he always made time to spend with his partner during the week despite his busy schedule. Forget? Nonsense! Too focused on himself? Well, of course he was focused on pursuing his music career which required long hours at the studio, why would he want to be with someone who didn’t support his endeavors? They knew what they were getting into when they met him!

It made zero sense to Jisung. At some point, he had given up on love altogether. Maybe he just wasn’t meant for it, maybe relationships were just not his thing. Clearly, he was doing something wrong and he decided that maybe hook up culture was just where he belonged. 

What Jisung failed to realize was that he was forcing his own ideals of a relationship onto his partners. The idea that people had different needs and perceptions on how relationships should function never dawned on him. He never thought to consider what the other person wanted and had simply assumed they would be content with whatever he had to offer. 

He forgot that some people needed more reassurance. He forgot some people wanted to go on actual dates, not everyone considered a night in a date, especially if every date was a night in. He forgot that some people didn’t just want to sit in a room with him while he was on his phone or working on his next project. Sometimes people wanted his undivided attention. Sometimes people wanted to be able to hold a conversation with him. Sometimes people needed more communication because quite frankly, three texts a day didn’t quite cut it for most people.

Yet, Jisung was too absorbed in his own world and his passions to even begin to understand that concept. He absolutely refused to believe he was doing something wrong and that he was just dating the wrong people this whole time. He just hadn’t found the one, right?

Despite that foolish belief he stubbornly held onto, it didn’t mean each instance didn’t take a hit on his ego. After the many failed relationships he had been through, the fear of inadequacy and insecurity began to creep into his mind. Was he not worthy of love? Was he incapable of forming a healthy relationship? Was something wrong with him?

He felt that he had so much love to offer in his heart, but he had no idea what it took to be a good partner. He was too tunnel visioned on producing and music to realize that sometimes, love and relationships required a bit of sacrifice, and that was something he refused to do.

Yet, Jisung wanted to fall in love. Like any other human on earth, he craved to love and be loved, to be understood wordlessly by someone else, but it seemed like love didn’t welcome him with open arms. He desperately wanted to feel like he was needed and wanted, to feel the bubbling shyness and giddiness that only love could give him, but somehow, it seemed that he was the victim of a paradox. Love hated him.

However, Jisung had resigned and accepted defeat. He wasn’t cut out for it. Besides, it’s not like anyone would even bother to give him a chance anymore. After a few failed relationships, people were quick to label him as ‘trash’ and a terrible boyfriend, only good for fun, but definitely nothing more. It was almost as if he had a permanent warning label above his head that scared off anyone who had any remote interest in him. 

People talked. And if anyone so much expressed any interest in him, someone would leap in to rescue them from a foreseeable heartbreak, telling them he was no good and a waste of time. Oh, but if you wanted a few nights of fun and to just fool around, he was perfect for that, but never, and absolutely under no circumstances, was he someone to settle down with. 

He was the only one to blame for his infamy in the dating scene, but Jisung was suffering from a case of extreme delusion and oblivion. Maybe one day he would lose that self-centered immaturity and have a much needed epiphany, but that day seemed far off in the future.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

For the past week, Jisung had holed himself in his studio, insistent on perfecting his latest track by some arbitrary deadline he had set for himself. This was a regular occurrence that his friends had gotten used to. They would be more surprised if this didn’t happen, but this also meant that they had to pay a visit to his studio every few days and force him to take a break for the sake of his mental and physical health. 

Today was one of those days in which Minho came knocking at his door after unlocking the door with the passcode Jisung had given him long ago, reminding him to come by his place later that night for a small party to celebrate his dance troop’s recent competition win. While Jisung was proud of this achievement, part of him felt a tad bit annoyed that he had to interrupt his work schedule for someone else, but Minho was one of his best friends, he at the very least should show up for a bit. He could stay for an hour or two, and hopefully by then everyone would be a little too drunk to notice he had escaped back to his studio.

Jisung sighed as he begrudgingly made his way to Minho’s apartment, dreading the amount of people he would have to socialize with tonight. He was relieved to know that a few familiar faces would be there, such as Hyunjin and Felix, who were also part of the troop, but the team had also gone through auditions recently, meaning there would be people he would have to meet for the first time.

He wasn’t one for befriending strangers, as oftentimes, many of them had a negative impression of him due to his dating history. He hated how every time he introduced himself, as soon as the words “Han Jisung” left his mouth, people’s faces would drop into an unreadable expression, almost as if they were disappointed to finally meet the man who was rumored to be complete and utter trash. It was anxiety-inducing and turned him off from seeking out new friendships because everyone would always say “Oh! Did you used to date my friend?” And at that moment, he knew it was over. They hated him before they even got to know him. As a result, Jisung always felt apprehensive when it came to meeting new people and he much preferred sticking with his small circle of friends. 

As Jisung arrived at the front steps of Minho’s apartment, he felt his shoulders tense up with trepidation as he subconsciously bit the inside of his cheek. The party had already started with the music blaring throughout the building, the lights dimmed with colorful LEDs visible from the window. A chorus of joyful cheers followed by the clinking of shot glasses and laughter could be heard from outside, signaling that the party was already in full swing. Jisung let out an uneasy groan, unprepared for what the night would bring, but reassured himself knowing that he only needed to stay for at least an hour before he could retreat back to the safe haven known as his studio.

After a sharp inhale, Jisung put on a fake smile as he opened the door, instantly greeted by a drunken Changbin who was double fisting two beers, wearing a toothy smile.

“Jisung! You made it!”

The last thing Jisung wanted tonight was to be put in the spotlight, which Changbin just unknowingly thrust him into with no warning. Others nearby turned their attention to the front door, some choosing to ignore Jisung’s presence to continue their conversations while others politely waved or called out a quick hello. 

Minho shortly appeared in Jisung’s vision, grinning from ear to ear as he pulled him into a one-armed hug, “Glad you showed up, I was worried you forgot!” An airy chuckle escaped Minho as Jisung gasped, feigning a look of betrayal while playfully shoving Minho’s shoulder, “How dare you think I’d forget my best friend’s party? I would never!”

Minho rolled his eyes at Jisung’s gesture before dragging him by his wrist. “Whatever you say, but c’mon! I want you to meet our new members. Plus, you look a little too stiff for my liking,so  let's get some drinks in ya first.”

Suddenly, shot glasses filled with tequila were shoved into Jisung’s hand as people egged him on to down them, chasing the two shots with lime and salt to cut through the harshness of the alcohol. A familiar buzz took over his senses, his head feeling lighter than usual as a lopsided smile appeared on his face while the nervousness he felt earlier quickly dissipated. 

The bit of liquid courage energized Jisung enough to forget all the now seemingly silly concerns he had earlier as he jumped through the bunches of people, excitedly yapping away as he caught up with friends and introduced himself to new people. Each time he noticed someone cringing at the sound of his name or giving him a dirty look, he would promptly take another shot to rid himself of the anxiety he was feeling, hoping the alcohol would make him just unaware enough of any other glares he would receive from people that night.

Eventually, Jisung made his way to the loft upstairs to take a break from the hectic party below, already feeling a headache coming on. He stumbled his way to the couch, not paying much mind to his surroundings as he plopped himself onto the couch, immediately throwing his head back while shutting his eyes.

“Oh, he definitely overdid it again,” laughed Felix from the left of him, “How many shots did you take?”

Jisung waved his hand as if he was shooing Felix away while mumbling, “Don’t even ask.”

He heard an unfamiliar giggle erupt from the right side of him, causing him to sit straight up with his eyes wide, hastily snapping his head to see who the laugh belonged to, not expecting anyone other than his friends here.

He found himself staring into your eyes that were crinkled from laughing, a lax smile adorning your face as you brought up a hand to hide behind. Your laugh was rich and decadent, almost as sweet as chocolate, and your smile was so refreshing that it instantly roused him from his drunken state the moment his eyes landed on you.

Oh, shit, they’re cute.

Jisung’s inebriated state had caused him to lose all self-awareness because all he could do was gawk at you with enamored eyes, his lips slightly parted as he struggled to find the words to introduce himself. He felt his face flush from embarrassment when you returned his gaze while wearing an expectant expression, patiently waiting for him to finish his sentence.

“I- Oh, uhm, I…”

You had instantly captured his heart with the most saccharine smile he has ever seen and within a few seconds, Jisung was undeniably smitten, but he was also completely making a fool of himself within those same few seconds.

“Jesus christ, Jisung, how drunk are you?” howled Hyunjin, who had gotten up to lightly poke Jisung’s cheek, “Helloooo, earth to Jisung? Anyone home?”

“Dude… Close your mouth before you start drooling over there. I don’t think that’s an image you want Y/N to have during your first meeting,” Seungmin, who was sitting on the floor, mischievously sneered, quickly recognizing Jisung’s speechless state was caused by something more than just alcohol. Jisung shook his head side to side to wake himself from his lovestruck daze, clearing his throat in an attempt to cover up Seungmin’s comment. 

“Mm, sorry! I just-,” 

Oh, this is bad, he really is making this so much worse for himself. He was now regretting all the shots from earlier as he tripped over his words, his nerves not being of any help. He desperately was trying to say something sensible, but instead, all he could blurt out was,

“Jisung! I’m Jisung… yeah!”

Now it is a lot worse as Jisung cringed at how loud and annoying his voice was, everyone else also seemingly cowering from second hand embarrassment as they watched the scene unfold, but no one was able to peel their eyes away.

Like an angel sent from heaven, Felix decided to have mercy on the brown haired boy, peeking out from behind Jisung to meet your eyes at the other side of the couch. “Y/N, this is our friend Jisung! He makes music with Changbin and Chan. Jisung, this is Y/N. They’re one of our newest members on the team.” God, Jisung could kiss Felix right now from how relieved he was to have alleviated the awkward tension he had just created moments earlier.

You nodded, smiling at Jisung as your eyes lit up in realization, “Oh, Jisung? I’ve heard about you before.”

Ah, there it is. Of course! Of course you have and how stupid of him to think he’d be able to have an untarnished first impression with you and-

“Minho says so many good things about you! He even showed me some of your songs. You’re really talented at what you do, I definitely added a few to my playlist.”

Someone pinch Jisung right now because he must be dreaming, there’s absolutely no way. Is luck finally on his side? Has God finally decided to be oh-so-merciful today? He was on cloud nine as he relished in your compliments, savoring this moment because this may never happen again.

Jisung clicked his teeth as he waved both his hands in front of him with a flustered smile, “Oh, no, no, no, I am not that good! But thank you!” The alcohol was really doing a number on him as he slurred over each syllable, but thankfully he was coherent enough for everyone to understand what he said. 

You let out a breathy laugh at his antics while standing from your seat, “Well, it's nice to finally put a face to the name, but I do have to go now, I have to be up early.”

Jisung deflated as everyone wished you good night, feeling disappointed how quickly your first meeting with him ended. Hyunjin stood up, offering to walk you out and once you were out of earshot, Jisung whipped his head to Felix.

“Felix… Who was that? How long have you been hiding them from me?”

Seungmin struggled to contain his laugh, earning a confused look from Jisung, “What are you laughing at?”

“Dude, you. You looked so stupid trying to talk to them.”

Jisung threw himself back into the couch, sinking into the cushions with an embarrassed groan, “Shut up, I know.”

Felix laughed, shooting Jisung a pitiful smile, “You’ve done worse, it’s fine. And no one was hiding them from you, you just never show up when we invite you anywhere. That is your own fault, not ours!” Jisung pouted, cursing himself mentally for rejecting all those plans.

“They’re cool, they’ve been on our team for a few months. Crazy good at dancing too, we are super lucky to have them.”

“Are they dating anyone?”

The room grew quiet at Jisung’s question as Seungmin and Felix looked at each other with uneasiness, unsure how to respond. Hyunjin had come back up the stairs after walking you to your car, just in time to hear Jisung. He let out a heavy sigh, alerting everyone of his presence.

“I… I think it's best if you just leave them alone, Jisung. They’re a really sweet person and you, well…”

“Me what? What do you mean?” Jisung furrowed his eyebrows at Hyunjin as the taller boy struggled to finish his thought.

“Just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why?”

“Seriously, Jisung? I know you’re wasted right now, but don’t make me say it. You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

And he did, he knew that Hyunjin was referring to his dating history, but Jisung felt himself growing angry hearing his friend allude to him being a bad partner, suggesting he would hurt you. 

“No, I want to hear you say it,” Jisung spat out, a scowl painted all over his face as he stared down Hyunjin with his arms crossed, who was still standing by the stairs. He felt himself become warm in frustration as all the insecurities he held close to his heart started to bubble up. Did his own friend’s think so poorly of him too?

Felix reached out to put a reassuring hand on Jisung’s shoulder, hoping to defuse the situation, “Let’s not do this right now. You’re still drunk, Jisung.” Jisung shook Felix’s hand off his shoulders, standing up while still glaring at Hyunjin with clenched fists. 

“Say it.”

“Jisung-” warned Felix, but he was cut off by Seungmin.

“You’re a shit boyfriend, Jisung. We don’t need you hurting someone we’re friends with again.”

The room was silent as everyone now stared at Seungmin with wide eyes, startled at how blunt he was being. Jisung didn’t know what he was feeling as a flash of rage took over his body, but at the same time, he felt his heart drop hearing those words come out of his own friend’s mouth. It was now Hyunjin’s turn to butt in,

“Seungmin, stop-”

“No, he needs to hear it straight up. He fucking sucks and you all know I’m right. I’m tired of him acting like he isn’t the problem. Leave Y/N alone. They’re better off without you.”

Jisung felt hot tears well up in his eyes as he took in every one of Seungmin’s words, each casting daggers into his heart. His worst nightmares were coming true as he realized that it wasn’t just strangers and ex-lovers who viewed in such a negative light, but the people he trusted so much, his own friends, also thought the same of him. The fury laced in Seungmin’s voice cut Jisung deep as every syllable pushed him over the edge til Jisungfound himself falling into a pit of sadness and hurt, his stomach flipping onto itself on his way down.

Was he really that bad? Wait, no! How dare Seungmin say such a thing to him? What does Seungmin even know about Jisung’s past relationship? He was stepping out of line! The sadness instantly subsided, soon being replaced with a familiar feeling of denial and anger as Jisung stomped towards Seungmin, crouching down to meet him on the floor. Jisung sloppily grabbed Seungmin by the collar of his shirt, pulling him close to his face.

“What the fuck did you just say? Take it back right fucking now,” growled Jisung, venom dropping down from each word.

Seungmin rolled his eyes, pushing the drunken boy off him who stumbled backwards, “See, this right here is your problem. You can’t even begin to accept that you’re in the wrong.” Seungmin stood up, now looking down at Jisung who still hadn’t regained his balance. He took in an exasperated inhale, a subdued smile replacing the vexed look he just had as he softened his tone, “Look, Jisung. I love and care for you, but I cannot turn a blind eye and let you hurt someone else. I mean it. Leave them alone.” With that, Seungmin made his way to the stairs, wanting nothing more than to get away from Jisung at that moment before he said something he’d later regret.

Jisung remained seated on the floor as he was processing the words and emotions that were rushing in all at once, his drunken brain unsure how to handle all the information he was just fed. He laid his head into his hands as his brain echoed Seungmin’s words again and again. 

Jisung felt his breath get caught in his throat as he hiccuped a quiet sob, his body starting to tremble as the tears he was holding back for so long finally fell. His body collapsed onto itself as his heart stuttered in his chest, his lungs burning from the lack of air as he continued to inconsolably weep, struggling to breathe between his cries. 

Maybe he is as bad as everyone said he was.

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 

A few weeks had gone by since Jisung and Seungmin’s argument at the party, but the tension between the two boys didn’t last long as Seungmin showed up to Jisung’s apartment the very next day with a bowl of soup for his hangover and an apology, which Jisung graciously accepted, neither wanting to be upset at each other any longer. 

Despite that, the words Seungmin had said never left Jisung, leaving a permanent scar on his brain as he constantly recalled the moment. The words painfully rang through his ears as a ball of shame and misery formed in his stomach while he reminisced about his past relationships, trying to figure out what he did so wrong. 

Jisung felt horrible as he carried this weight of guilt on his shoulders as he wondered how his actions had hurt others and how he had remained oblivious for so long. All the insecurities and fears he had about himself were true at the end. Everyone around him was in agreement that he was the issue and he was the one behaving so selfishly in every relationship. He could understand that and he knew if his friend’s felt that way, it had to be the truth, but he was still struggling to identify what exactly about him and his behavior was so bad. 

Sure, he could reach out and ask his friends to help see what he was missing, but he was too afraid to face the reality of the situation, not ready to take another brutal beating of words. He was terrified to hear the truth, but he knew the same conclusion he came to long ago remained true. Love was just not for him, it didn’t want him the same way he did.

Everyone had taken note of Jisung’s downtrodden mood and thought he had just needed a few days to collect himself, but once everyone realized more time had passed and that he didn’t even have the will to attend a recording session with Chan and Changbin, everyone went into crisis mode. So, over the last few weeks, someone would show up to Jisung’s house to check in on him and either spend a few hours with him at home, or forcefully drag him out the house to spend time with the group, insisting it would help him feel better.

Each time someone had forced him out, he would be huffing and sulking like a grumpy toddler throwing a tantrum, but as soon as he got there, he would be as cheery as ever and would end the day feeling a lot better. He hated how right his friends were, but he was always thankful for every time they dragged him out despite his whiny and bratty attitude.

However, there was another mental battle Jisung was fighting that everyone was unaware of, or so he thought, and he was definitely not coming out of it as a winner. Unfortunately for Jisung, since the time you joined Minho’s dance team, you had hit it off so well with the rest of the group that you were there almost every time Jisung joined you guys on an outing. And each day he spent with you, he found himself falling more and more for you. 

He was really trying to stop himself, as he took Seungmin’s words to heart and imagined that sentiment was shared with everyone else, but this task was becoming an impossible one for Jisung to tackle!

It was weird. Every time he’d get invited out, Jisung would dread seeing you because he knew he was doomed to a hopeless, unrequited love with you, but if you weren’t there, he would be so disappointed and would find himself wanting to go home sooner. He wanted to stay as far away from you as possible, but something about you drew him in and he couldn’t resist and now here he is, finding himself in a friendship with you that he could not escape. 

It’s not that he didn't want to be friends with you, if anything he loved the friendship you two had grown in such a short time and how quickly he became fond of you. You were incredibly sweet to Jisung, constantly showing your consideration for him everyday in new ways. If he ever felt anxious or out of place, you were the first to take notice and offer to get him out of whatever stuffy social situation he was in and stay with him til he was ready to join the others again. If he had decided to stay in that day, you’d send him a message letting know he was missed and hoped to see him the next time. There was even a time where he was too sick to leave the house, and much to his surprise, he found you and Minho at his front door steps with food and medicine.

Somehow, unlike everyone else before you, you had shown him a special kind of unwavering kindness and didn’t judge him for his past. For the first time in years, he finally felt safe and unconditionally loved in a friendship that wasn’t one of the boys. That was enough for Jisung to know that you were someone he wanted to keep in his life for as long as possible, even if it meant he had to confront eventual heartbreak and only stay by your side as nothing more than a friend. 

But, that was okay. That was more than enough for him because as long as you were there, he would give you his all and support you endlessly. He would do anything to see you smile, anything to ensure your happiness, and if that meant he couldn’t be your lover, then that was a sacrifice he was willing to make. Besides, no one has ever been happy with him in a relationship. This was how it had to be, this is how he could protect you from himself.

Regardless of how Jisung felt towards you, he had seriously doubted you had any interest in him in the first place. How could someone as angelic as you want to be with, well, trash? There was no way you hadn’t heard about his disastrous dating history, and if you were as smart as he thought you were, that alone would turn you off from him. Not only that, he was pretty sure you had heard about the fight he had with Seungmin and if that fight said anything about him, it showed that he was a mess of insecurities and arrogance. Why on Earth would you ever like someone like that? And if you heard about the fight, he was positive that Seungmin and everyone else had warned you about him and dissuaded you from even considering anything romantic with him.

It was doomed! 

And although Jisung had earnestly vowed to himself he would not engage in anything romantic with you, he was failing miserably. His affection towards you was something everyone picked up on. He always, no matter what, had his undivided attention on you as you ranted to him about whatever bothered you that day or how you were struggling to nail a part of your dance routine. It was obvious. He loved hearing you talk and could listen to you for hours as if you were his own personal podcast, always mirroring your emotion and blindly agreeing with you during your rants, always asking you questions whenever you rambled on about your own hobbies and interests. 

If someone ever talked over you, he’d make sure to ask you what you were going to say. If you were upset that day, he’d always offer to buy you ice cream and insist to the group that they all needed to stop by the local ice cream shop. If you ever showed him a video of your latest dance routine, he’d shower you with a ridiculous amount of compliments until you were a flustered mess asking him to stop. And every time he noticed you were wearing a new outfit, changed your hair, or wore different jewelry, he would be quick to notice and let you know how wonderful you looked. He was shamelessly flirting with you, and he hadn’t even realized how far he had let it go. 

On the other side of the pond, you were well aware of every horrible thing that was said about Jisung, even long before you had become a member of Minho’s team, and to be quite frank, you thought he was a complete asshole from what you’ve heard. But once you realized that he was one of Minho’s lifelong best friends, you knew you had to push your personal feelings aside, especially when you realized some of the music Minho had you perform with was Jisung’s original work. You hated to admit it, but he was an absolute genius when it came to music production and you were slowly becoming a fan of his work. 

All you could tell yourself was that he couldn’t have been that bad if everyone was still his friend and reminded yourself people change, it’s not like you were going to end up liking the guy anyway. 

Oh, but you were so wrong. 

The first time you saw him at Minho’s party, you thought he was so irresistibly adorable during his drunken babbling, and you were honestly taken aback that the cute man who sat in front of you was none other than Han Jisung. Although, it did help soften your initial thoughts of him, making you think maybe he wasn’t that bad, especially after seeing him become a blushing mess at the mere sight of you, but those thoughts were quickly pushed away while Hyunjin walked you to your car after you left.

“Y/N…”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard about Jisung from other people, right?”

“Oh, I’ve heard plenty, but he doesn’t seem so bad though.”

“Well, he isn’t if you’re just friends with him, but… He definitely seemed into you when he saw you and as your friend, I feel like it is my responsibility to let you know that he isn’t someone you should pursue. I love him, but you deserve someone better than that… I would hate to see him hurt another one of my friends.”

“Ah, no worries, Hyunjin. I’ve made dumb dating choices in the past, but I’m not that stupid.”

Except, you were that stupid. So, so, so incredibly stupid and you were terrified that anyone would uncover your growing crush on the boy. You could already imagine both Hyunjin and Seungmin’s disappointed looks, and you promised yourself you were taking this little secret to the grave. You had every reason in the world to not be attracted to Jisung, especially after hearing how he put his hands on Seungmin during their argument! Drunk or not, there’s no excuse for that and his denial of his actions said so much about him.

Yet, here you are, sitting next to Jisung on the couch in the living room of Minho’s place, excitedly talking to him about the latest episode of the drama you were currently watching, gossiping to him as if the actors were real people you knew in your personal life. He sat on the couch with his legs crossed, facing you while nodding along to every word you said, his eyes trained on you and you alone.

“And-, oh my god, I almost forgot, but the lead then told her to shut up! Can you believe that?!”

Jisung would then gasp, theatrically putting his hand on his chest, “No fucking way… What is his problem?”

“Right! And then-,” you paused for a moment, suddenly feeling insecure that you were forcing Jisung to listen about something he probably didn’t care for. You sighed and gave him an apologetic smile as you anxiously twiddled your fingers, “I’m sorry, I got carried away, you probably don’t wanna listen to me talk about some stupid drama.”

This time, Jisung did look genuinely surprised as his eyebrows furrowed upward with panicked eyes, “What? No, I love hearing you talk about this, you’re always so excited that it’s adorable.” He hated how fast your mood changed and started to worry if he had done something to make you feel that way. Did he look uninterested? Was he not responsive enough? 

“Did I do something to make you think I didn’t want to listen?”

You felt your cheeks grow warm at Jisung calling you adorable, and then felt your heart start beating loudly in your chest when he asked you that question with all the concern and worry in the world filling his eyes. You shot straight up in your seat, returning his gaze with astonishment, not expecting him to be so considerate. “No, no, you didn’t do anything wrong… I just…” You paused for a moment, trying to find the words without revealing too much on how you were feeling, “I just got nervous for a moment, I don’t know.”

Jisung nodded as you spoke, taking your hands in his as he gave you a reassuring smile, “Y/N, I promise there’s nothing more I’d love than to hear you talk. You could be explaining the most boring thing ever, and I would still listen to you happily.”

In the kitchen stood Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Minho who were watching the scene unfold before them as they prepared food for everyone, while the others were upstairs playing whatever video game upstairs. Seungmin narrowed his eyes as he watched Jisung reach for your hands, taking note of the flustered look on your face.

“I think Y/N likes him.”

Hyunjin and Minho turned to Seungmin for a moment, then looked back at you and Jisung, unsure what exactly Seungmin saw other than Jisung’s flirtations. 

Hyunjin let out an annoyed exhale as he continued to fry the eggs on the pan, then muttering, “There’s no way that’s possible. Y/N knows better.”

“I don’t know. Just look at them, they act like there’s no one else in the room when they’re together,” whispered Seungmin.

“I guess,” murmured Hyunjin, clearly upset about Seungmin’s hunch, “This is going to end terribly, isn’t it?”

Minho silently stood as he separated the ramen noodles that were boiling in the pot, humming along as he listened to the two younger boys angrily whisper. “I think it will be okay. I think our Jisungie has learned his lessons.”

The other two looked at him with disbelief, neither believing Jisung was capable of ever growing from the immature mindset he had for as long as they’ve known him. Hyunjin scoffed, “No, you don’t really think that, do you?”

Minho kept his eyes on the stove as the other two stared down at the back of his head, shrugging his shoulders, “Well, I could be wrong, I can’t exactly predict the future, but…” He then glanced back at the couch, smiling as Jisung made you laugh, “He treats them differently. I don’t know why, but he does. Don’t you two think so?”

Seungmin and Hyunjin stayed silent, not being able to deny Minho’s statement because they fully knew he wasn’t wrong. Everyone knew something in Jisung had changed when he had met you, and everyone saw how gently he treated you, almost as if he was scared he could scare you away with one little misstep.

“Whatever, I still don’t trust him,” Hyunjin grumbled, putting the last of the eggs on a plate.

Minho chuckled at both of the boy’s protectiveness, “That’s okay, no one is forcing you to, but remember, they’re both adults. They can do what they want, no matter how stupid we all think it is.”

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 

Months had gone by and there was no denying the small romance that had flourished between you and Jisung. You both were hopelessly head-over-heels for the other, to the point that everyone around you two had grown sick of it and was praying for the day where one of you would finally confess your feelings to the other. 

You had long given up on hiding your feelings for the boy from your friends, especially after one day Seungmin had confronted you and told you it was the most obvious thing in the world. Part of you had prepared yourself for Seungmin to berate you for your poor taste in men, especially after the plethora of warnings you had been given about Jisung, but instead, he was very supportive and wanted you to feel comfortable enough to talk to him about it, even if he thought you could do better.

Jisung had become a part of your daily life, spending nearly everyday with each other or at the very least, you both had become accustomed to texting one another throughout the day. You’d start your day either sending or receiving a ‘good morning’ text from him and you’d end your day the same way, except it was a ‘good night’ text. 

You’d often pay him a visit at his studio on days he had lost track of time, always letting yourself in after he had given you the passcode to the door, which he had only given to you, Minho, Chan, and Changbin. It came to you as a surprise when he gave you the code to his studio, insisting that you needed it so you could drop in whenever you wanted, telling you that you were always a welcomed guest at his studio. In reality, Jisung just wanted an excuse to see you more, and you had taken the bait as you would often show up with an iced americano in hand and whatever takeout food you were in the mood for that day.

If you ever had a long day of dance practice, Jisung would make sure to stop by to drop off a snack and drink as well, often receiving complaints from Minho over his blatant favoritism, accusing him of neglecting his best friend, which would cause Jisung to grow red from embarrassment. Despite his relentless teasing, Minho was more than proud to see how much Jisung had grown and how naturally caring for you had come to him. It was a side of Jisung no one had ever seen, and it was a very much welcomed change.

Today, you were sitting on the couch at Jisung’s apartment as he washed the dishes from the dinner you both had attempted to make, humming along as he put them in the drying rack. For some reason, you and Jisung had thought it would be a great idea to recreate a steak dish you both saw online and while it did not go terribly, the steaks ended up being a little too burnt for either of your liking. You were a bit disappointed, part of you feeling embarrassed you couldn’t even cook a proper meal in front of your crush, but he had lifted your spirits up by telling you it was an ‘excellent culinary choice’ to serve the steaks charred, shushing you each time you said the word burnt. 

Soon after, he took a seat next to you on the couch, flicking through the TV as he tried to find something to watch, but soon gave up as he turned to you, “Is there anything you wanna watch?” 

You scrunch up your face as you take a few seconds to think, clapping your hands excitedly once the idea hits you, “Have you ever watched Love is Blind? It’s kinda a dumb reality show, but I still haven’t seen the new season and it’s always a fun watch!”

Jisung furrowed his eyebrows quizzically, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy, “Love is Blind? I’ve never heard of it, what's it about?”

“Never heard of it!? No way!” You gasped, a hand clasping over your mouth dramatically as he smiled adoringly at your antics, “It’s such a crazy show! Basically, a bunch of singles are trying to find the love of their lives, but they’re meeting people without ever seeing what they look like!”

“Oh, so they only get to talk to each other?”

“Yeah! And then they have to get engaged, and once that happens, they can finally meet face to face. They’re supposed to get married at the end of the series, but there’s always juicy drama going on before then!”

Jisung hummed, taking interest in the show's concept, “That’s cool, so they’re trying to see if love is truly blind?”

“Exactly!” You chirped, nodding with enthusiasm as you beamed at Jisung, waiting for his response.

“Sure, let’s watch it!” How could he ever say no to you when you’re smiling at him that way? He swore he felt his heart flutter the moment you smiled at him, the jubilation in your eyes making him become putty in your hands. “Do you really believe in that though? Like, unconditional love?”

You turned to him as you grabbed the remote from his hands, a bit taken aback from his question, “Well, I’ve already seen the other seasons and some couples have definitely proven that love can be blind, but love differs for everyone. I think that’s the beauty of this show though, loving someone despite their flaws and loving them for who they truly are.”

He leaned back on the couch, returning your gaze as he lost himself deep in thought, “Right, but do you think you could love someone unconditionally? Even if they’ve made mistakes in the past?”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you tried to understand where Jisung was coming from, a gentle smile gracing your features as you reached a comforting hand over his wrist, “Well, as long as those past mistakes aren’t murder or something, I don’t see why not. I’d like to think people are able to grow from their past.”

Jisung smiled as he sighed in relief, his other hand resting on top of yours, “Even me?”

“Especially you.” 

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈ 

It was a quiet and cold night as you curled up into Jisung’s side, your head resting on his chest with a leg thrown over his as his arms swaddled you into a tight embrace. It was peaceful and serene, the only sounds filling the room was the light pitter patter of rain against his bedroom window and the comforting beat of his heart. You tilted your head upwards and caught Jisung’s gaze, a relaxed smile on his face as he leaned down to press a gentle kiss on your forehead, but you could’ve sworn you saw a glimmer of sadness in his eyes.

To be quite honest, you weren’t entirely sure what you and Jisung were, as neither of you had ever officially discussed labels, but you both were very aware of each other’s feelings for one another. There was no doubt that you both were more than just friends, but the label of partners or dating was something Jisung nervously tiptoed around. 

After a few weeks of these shared tender moments, you figured Jisung would soon ask you to be his, but the question never came and it filled you with nervousness. You didn’t want to pressure him, as you could sympathize with his concerns since he was very transparent with you about his hesitance from the very start.

Jisung was irrevocably in love with you and wanted nothing more than to make you his partner, but he would be lying to you if he wasn’t also terrified of the weight of that label. For so long, Jisung had convinced himself he was incapable of loving someone the way they deserved to be and never thought anyone would have ever fallen for him, especially someone as perfect as you. Perhaps it was your sheer kindness and undying belief in him, but he felt like a complete fraud, as if you had imagined him to be this amazing man that he could never be and has never been. He wasn’t ready to fall short of your expectations, he wasn’t ready to face the disappointed and heartbroken look on your face once you realized the rumors about him were complete truth.

He felt as if he was truly undeserving of someone as pure as you, someone so selfless and caring who approached their own feelings with so much confidence, while he was just a shamefully selfish man who didn’t know how to trust himself, who didn’t believe in his own ability to make his own partner happy, a man who was painfully insecure and unsure of who he was.

He wanted you with every fiber of his being and desperately wanted to be the very reason behind your smiles, laughter, and happiness. He so greedily desired to see his own reflection in your eyes for the rest of his life, a sight that he wanted to treasure for the rest of life and the thought of you looking at someone else that way physically pained him.

Yet, his fear of hurting you and disappointing everyone else around him held him back from chasing those feelings and Seungmin’s words from months ago ruminated in his mind as a constant reminder of his past failures. He would not be able to shoulder the burden of hurting you, the guilt would completely eat him up because at the end of the day, it would be his fault for fooling you into the idea that he was capable of giving you that movie perfect love story. For crying out loud, he’s Han Jisung, the guy everyone hated and criticized for his ineptitude of romantic relations. He knew what you wanted, he knew you were growing impatient and scared over his inaction, but his anxieties held him captive in a standstill, and he was not strong enough to challenge it.

All he could tell you was that he needed more time, that he was afraid and needed the chance to grow that confidence in himself once more, but he knew time was finite and he was running out of it. 

As he kissed your forehead, he felt his heart flinch as a pang of sadness flooded his body, forcefully fighting the overwhelming adoration and affection he had for you. He was petrified at the way his body slowly began to reject the feelings of love he had for you, fear and insecurities consuming it as if everything you had to offer nothing. All rational thinking had left him in that moment as panic took over his thoughts, angrily yelling at him for being such an idiot to think anything would ever change. How stupid he was to lead on another innocent person and how he was only going to hurt them, just like all the others before him. How idiotic he was for thinking he was ever deserving of love, as love does not wish to know him. 

He just couldn’t be your love.

God, if he wasn’t such a selfish asshole, maybe then he could’ve saved you from his own carelessness. If he had only heeded the warnings of his friends, but once again, he has fallen into the trap of self-centered needs outweighing the feelings of others. If he had only stayed your friend and nothing more, if he had only not-

“Y/N, I don’t think this is going to work.”

Did he really say that out loud? He held his breath as he cursed himself for acting so quickly out of fear, his heart stopped as he watched you stiffen in his own arm. You silently sat yourself up, his arms falling to the mattress as you turned to him with tears filling your eyes, your lips trembling as you tried to contain a sob.

Oh, how Jisung just wished the world would swallow him whole in that moment, his heart completely shattering at the sight of your crestfallen face. He looked into your watery eyes to only realize that this time, the reflection of your eyes showed the source of your sorrow, an expression he had wished he never had the misfortune to witness. 

“I… I’m sorry, I just-”

You shook your head, raising a hand to signal him to stop talking, refusing to take an explanation from him, “It’s okay. I was afraid this would happen.”

You forced a tightlipped smile, taking a deep breath through your nose as you tried to keep yourself together, faintly whispering a broken “Please don’t text or call me.”

Jisung shot up as he watched you get up from his bed, trying to scramble after you as you made your way to his front door, grabbing your belongings on the way. He didn’t realize how much he was already crying until he tried to speak to you, but it all came out in a blubbering sob. “Y/N, please, listen to me…” He begged you to listen to him, pleaded for you to try to understand where this was all coming from and to understand that he still loved you so much despite how selfish his actions are, yet you never gave him a chance.

“Jisung, please. I don’t care why, I don’t want to know,” you croaked between sobs, doing your best to maintain your composure as you faced the front door, refusing to look at him. “I just feel like an idiot. I should’ve listened to what people said about you.”

There you went, leaving his apartment and shutting the door in his face with force, leaving Jisung to confront nothing, but his own cowardice. 

Once again, Jisung fell into the trap of his own self-centered thinking, getting lost in his own immaturity as he became the victim of the circumstances he created. If he had only realized that he wasn't alone in this battle of his own conscience, if he had only realized you would've fought each insecurity and fear with him.

Oh, woe is me, Han Jisung. Only a fool would be afraid of love.

[gabessquishytum]

While I love Dream with past shitty partners before he meets Hob having his his mind blown after he finally experiences what a good partner actually is' how about...

Hob was Dreams first love, and with that his first everything, They did the whole romance cliché of childhood friends to a serious relationship (complete with years of pinning) on the very edge of marriage with a white picket fence and kids Dream and Hob have the worse fight ever seen by either of their families, in the end Dream storms out into the rain and Hob is left yelling at him from the doorway (1889 anyone?).

Within a week Dream has moved away to pursue his dream as a artist and writer and Hob is on a plane to start backpacking around the world. The break up is swift and painful,

Eventually Dream starts dating again, but he quickly realizes that he keeps attracting the wrong sort of people; Killala started chatting up some guy obsessed with stars the second she thought his back was turned. Alianora had only dated him because Desire dared her too, Nada has tried to use him to further her families business and Titania had already been fucking married! The less said about Cori the better.

In a different world perhaps Dream would have clung on, would have delt with it and accepted what he could get. Just believed it was all he was worthy of but the thing is Dream has already experienced what it was like to have a partner who sees you as an equal. Who loves you is faithful to you and who cares about your opinion. Dream knows what he is worth and it was so much more than what any of those peoples were going to give him.

Over a decade and a half later and Dream returns to his hometown for the first time with his little Orpheus on his hip. The boys mother Calliope was a fellow lover of the arts and a famous singer. Their combined passion had lead to several award winning pieces and the creation of their beloved son but three months into a relationship had proven they were just not compatible for anything long term but Dream is forever thankful for her steady friendship.

With Calliope away on tour and no deadlines for him to complete Dream takes his son to the local park where the boy becomes fast friends with another little boy named Robin Gadling the only son of recently widowed Robert (Hob) Gadling.

It seems the Hob with his wonderfully soft dad-bod and slightly greying temple can still ignite the same burning desire within Dream as he did when Dream was a young bright-eyed twenty year-old.

This is so glorious, can you imagine their eyes meeting across the park, past the swing sets and slides and toddlers tugging on their hands!!! Dream is sure he must be, well, dreaming. He's thought of Hob often in the past few weeks that he's been back around town, occasionally fantasising about what he might look like now. He just wasn't expecting to see his former lover and have the word "daddy" immediately pop into his head.

And it seems that Hob is, literally, a daddy. He kneels to speak to Robin, who is gesturing wildly towards Orpheus, and Dream can't even move because seeing Hob being attentive to his son is just. So beautiful. But of course Orpheus drags him over to Robin and Hob gets to his feet and he's somehow even more glorious. Dream didn't think it was possible but he immediately falls right back in love with a man he hasn't seen for over 15 years.

Hob is shy and a little withdrawn, seeming like he doesn't want to offend Dream or freak him out by being too friendly. Truthfully Hob doesn't want his heart broken again. And maybe he'd be better at resisting temptation, but Robin wants more time with Orpheus and Hob can never resist his son's puppy eyes. So he finds himself sitting beside Dream on a bench, just like how they used to feed the birds together in the old days. Their thighs brush together and Hob feels like they were never even apart. He could just hold Dream’s hand right now and they could go back to how it used to be. He hopes that Dream feels it too. That he won't be disappointed that Hob is tired, and grieving, and not in the shape he used to be.

Maybe Dream will work up the courage to tell him that his weariness and the fact that he's a little frayed around the edges make him all the more perfect. Because they match each other, perfectly.

[reiniesainyo]

IN BETWEEN. charlie bushnell x reader – 05

05 | LOGICAL previous | next | masterfile

SYNPOSIS. when a girl's co-star is good to her and now she wants it more than everything in between. (smau)

A/N. not feeling too well but... here's the episode

HOST "What's up, everyone! Welcome back to the Fangirlpedia Podcast, where we fangirls get to live out our dreams and fill out a Wikipedia for all the fangirls out there!"

HOST "I've been a fan of PJO since i was a kid, I was 15 when the first books came out and now, my daughter, who's 12 gets to watch the TV show. So it really is a dream come true and such a pleasure to be here today with the cast of Disney+'s Percy Jackson and the Olympians!"

HOST "With that, I think it's the proper time to introduce our dear guests for today."

WALKER "I'm Walker Scobell, I play Percy Jackson."

LEAH "I'm Leah Sava Jeffries and I play Annabeth Chase."

CHARLIE "I'm Charlie Bushnell and I'm the actor for Luke Castellan."

YN "And I'm YN LN and I'm the actress for Rina Velasco."

HOST "What song would you associate with your character?"

YN "For me, I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski"

YN "Rina is a very calculated character, she's not like Annabeth in the sense that it's just logic and facts. I think she's calculated in the fact that she's a very thoughtful person, and so I think it's interesting that her fatal flaw would be her faith and her trust— which, from face value completely contrasts her as a character. Like why does this person who thinks everything through have such childlike trust? Well, she is a child."

YN "The reason I chose this really lies in Luke, her first love, and the fact that her oblivious trust is most blatant in her relationship with him. Luke is the losing dog that all her logic tells her is losing but she still bets on him every time. He proves to her time and time again that he's put himself on this path and yet she foolishly believes every time that he can come back. I think in a way, she's aware of the fact that it's a foolish endeavor and yet pursues it anyway because she still believes there's some goodness in Luke despite him proving to her otherwise."

HOST "If YN's song for Rina is I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski, what would your song be, Charlie?"

CHARLIE "I think I've mentioned somewhere else that the song I used to really like use as my go-to was Swan Lake, Op. 20, Act 2? Yeah I think that's the right title. It really got me in the mood. But there's a different song that I think represents Luke."

HOST "Oh and what would that song be?"

CHARLIE "Probably.... Silver Springs yeah Silver Springs - Fleetwood Mac. It's a popular song with editors. But like, I see Luke in it because it's kind of like... that's his relationship with all the people he loves. 'Time casts it spell on you, but you won't forget me. I know I could've loved you, but you would not let me.' Those lyrics for me are really what Luke's relationship with people are like, especially post-betrayal. I think the people he love stays on his mind constantly."

CHARLIE "There's this one line 'You'll never get away from the sound of a woman that loves you'. And I think every woman in his life is the same, Annabeth, his mom, Tahlia, and Rina especially. They all love him in their own way and the fact that like you know, they love him will haunt him with every decision he makes."

HOST "Even before filming, what were the vibes from everyone?"

CHARLIE "A lot of people assume that the hardest thing is filming- which is hard but like the stuff that happens before like table reads and chemistry tests were so nerve-wracking too."

YN "You'll hear from Leah and Walker that the chemistry read was so happy and fun— Leah just got to flirt with Walker for like an hour. Good for the younger kids, meanwhile me and Charlie were out here sobbing and fighting."

WALKER "Huh? What?!"

LEAH "You never told us this."

CHARLIE "Really? We didn't"

YN "Well, for Charlie and I's chemistry read, yeah it started off with playful banter then not even two scenes later, I was arguing with Luke in a forest about him stealing the master bolt."

CHARLIE "I mean I was like begging her to stay and everything— Did I get on my knees? I remember getting on my knees."

YN "Oh my gosh yeah... he got on his knees while begging to Rina it was crazy. The chemistry they wanted from us was ... definitely passionate. It was a very specific type of chemistry."

CHARLIE "Didn't they have us— Oh spoilers if you haven't seen the last book, anyways Luke dies and they were like 'So I want you to pretend like you're dying and now you see him and you're mourning his death'"

YN "Yeah and it was like 'I'm not sure if I'll make it to Elesium...' 'I don't think anyone else would be more worthy.' and then bro just straight up died!"

WALKER "WHAT TYPE OF CHEMISTRY READ IS THIS???"

CHARLIE "Deadly chemistry. I think one of us started crying."

YN "We were giving... Shakespeare."

HOST "What were your guys' reaction after getting the role? I think most have heard about the rest of you guys but YN's casting has been a matter of secret for a little bit."

YN "Oh my god I was elated, I was finally employed!"

CHARLIE "Biggest TV show of the year and your reaction is 'I'm employed'?"

YN "Hey don't judge! I love PJO and I love the series so so so much but honestly, after doing Miss Saigon's revival and then going into first year of college in NYU I was kind of panicking because 1) I wanted to do something and 2) I had no idea what to do. Like I knew I wanted to act but I wanted to try something different and honestly, I haven't gotten any good callbacks in a long time. So I mean when I sent it in, I didn't think anything would happen but it did and I was like 'Oh my god, I'm employed, I can earn money'."

CHARLIE "A bit weird but wouldn't have it any other way."

YN "You know, Charlie, next time you can just say something nice."

CHARLIE "Then our rela- friendship wouldn't be as fun."

CHARLIE "YN at first was pretty secretive about her background so every thing she revealed herself was like a new lore drop."

YN "Lore drop???"

WALKER "Every few days on set, we'd be talking and one day you'd just drop 'Oh when I was in highschool, I was in the national debate championships and in the finals–' and you talked like it was so normal but then all of us just found out you did competitive debate."

YN "It wasn't that big of a deal–"

LEAH "You told us you won the championships?"

YN "I won best speaker but I technically-"

CHARLIE "Don't even bother."

[vigilskeep]

Wait what’s the dynamic of Alistair and Minerva? Could’ve been lovers but worse actually ? Or something else?

well that really is the question all of ferelden asks itself daily

what alistair and minerva endure together makes them truly inseparably close during most of dao, that kind of forged-under-fire bond. minerva has so much faith in alistair’s protection and loyalty that he’s the only person she really feels safe being publicly affectionate with, and alistair trusted her, thought the world of her as his leader, and followed her anywhere. but the friendship messily explodes when minerva’s political agenda leads her to spare loghain at the landsmeet. which is what i refer to as their platonic divorce

they love each other a lot, and no matter what point the relationship is at, harm to the other would be unbearable to them both. but there were always fault lines in the relationship liable to at some point erupt, major ones including: a) alistair’s history with the templars and certain mindsets he was taught, vs minerva’s lifelong trauma with them that she only during dao even begins to come to terms with. b) minerva does not have the sense of honour or justice alistair assumes is universal among those he considers good, which leads him to wrongfully assume she would draw his same line with loghain without it having to be discussed, and to no longer be able to categorise her as “good” when she suddenly fails his standard. c) she is a manipulative political person who, due to circle mage backstory horrors and growing up as a first enchanter in the making, simply has never been taught and does not believe that individuals getting the lives they want is realistic or necessary or even a requirement of doing right by them. she pushes alistair to take the throne and marry anora to serve her own big-picture goals. he does not have the necessary courage/confidence to stand up for the life he wants, while she fatally simply assumes that he would refuse if it really mattered enough to him (which she literally would have adjusted her plans for with minimal complaining! because she loves him! but because he’s alistair, and also because he loves her, of course he’d never refuse outright what she said was so important. maddening.)

alistair considers loghain to have massacred the only true family he ever had, and minerva not only turns around and spares him but gives him a place in that very family like it’s nothing. alistair abandons minerva at the most public moment, and when she and the world perhaps need him most, in the final battle against the archdemon, he isn’t there. neither of them are really built to be able to overlook what each other did. but the love is still there, as i like to say

post-dao they have a weird painful dynamic in which king alistair continues to give her the cold shoulder while doggedly pursuing the freedom for mages she asked for as her boon from the crown, and minerva, loyal to him to the death, refuses to let slip a scrap of emotion or remorse in his direction because she cannot bear any further damage to her pride. they work together constantly but usually at the distance between denerim and amaranthine rather than seeing each other in person. they’re both very angry, they both miss each other all the time. i like to think that over the years the latter eventually wins out but maybe that’s wishful thinking

because their relationship has the appropriate plot relevance and intensity—friendship always seems too weak a word, and comparisons to siblings useful but not quite right—i do have aus where they are romantic, but i don’t consider those to be “canon”. alistair did flirt once or twice in her playthrough which probably muddies the waters of his feelings a little bit but i don’t think even he took that particularly seriously, he’s just 19-20 and she’s extremely pretty and extremely right there. alistair isn’t really minerva’s type she goes for scoundrels

[battleonthebigbridge]

I want to talk about Argenti and my personal interpretation of his character after the companion quest.

SPOILERS FOR COMPANION QUEST BELOW!!!!!

Honestly like a huge fan of Argenti being played for laughs through the majority of the quest, making comments about hallucinations and delusions but then Argenti truly reveals his faith to us. For what it means to him and the length that his faith goes to in order to self sacrifice, that he had only known the express crew for a very short amount of time and he willingly said he would die for the crew three times.

Knowing that Argenti came from a world ravaged by war and loneliness, him seeing this group of people, this family who adore each other and want to help each other and deciding that he would be willing to die in order to protect that family, even if it was not his own, even though he has been a lone traveller for Idrila knows how long.

And in that, his faith in Idrila itself. That his only wish is to see them, that even if his visions are all but hallucinations he chooses to believe in the beauty's grace, he continues to pursue that wish, that desire

The beauty who has passed from the world but their knights continue to pursue that ideal across the universe. "Each time I wander closer to death, it gets me closer to the path the Beauty once walked." The path to demise, to a beautiful death clad in honour and virtue, fighting for the better of the universe and not allowing one to fall into sin and corruption. A noble death, protecting a family who value each other above all else, the beauty found in those bonds of love, and dying to protect that, in Argenti's eyes is no exaggeration out of being worthwhile. He was completely willing to pass on, to perhaps finally see the beauty that he has pursued, to finally witness the aeon he has devoted everything to.

Despite being played as a comic relief it's so infinitely sad, a blindness in faith but a faith so pure and good that you cannot call him on his delusions, because deep in his heart he already knows the truth, but he will keep his vow as a knight until he reaches his end, to tread the path that Idrila once walked.

And this line from Himeko in particular really hit me

And this follow-up from March

While played as a comedy relief for the majority of things he has appeared in his character is very down to earth and surprisingly deep, especially if you read his character stories and understand the true prospects of his journey and his duty.

I don't have anything to say about this, I believe this confession speaks for himself.

I love Argenti, so much.

[mecachrome]

Would you like to do a summary of what Oscar said in this podcast? I would be super grateful!

sure anon! tbh most of the questions were pretty banal but:

talked about choosing op81, being competitive as a child, balancing his calm/competitive side, sacrificing his life in australia to pursue his professional racing dreams etc.

said the fact that the car being bad didn't really "remove pressure" because his benchmark was lando regardless, that he had faith in mclaren but didn't think they'd be this competitive in just a year and a half, mentioned again choosing them because it felt good to be wanted + andrea being one of the primary drivers behind their success ("i never really like putting it down to one person, and i know the person i'm about to mention doesn't like it either" hehe)

re: his r/s with lando "i like to think that hopefully we've been able to boost each other a bit"

on what young oscar would have thought of hungary: "i think firstly he wouldn't have believed it, that it was him, but he would have been incredibly happy. i don't think he would have gone through like... the pride and the emotions of it, but he probably would have been like :D hell yeah, i just won my first f1 race!"

on conservative call to protect 1-2: "i think it's the trust they have in lando and i that they swapped us around like that, knowing that it would be swapped back"

said he and lando don't hang out "that much" outside of races ("i mean we see enough of each other at the races" 😭) but that they need to play padel and he recently got a car in monaco so he can actually drive to it now LOL

there's this bit on what he thinks of life as an f1 driver and he's basically like (air quotes) (reluctant to call it fame) you can't really prepare for "fame" and that it's weird to get recognized off-track but he knows he has to Appreciate The Fans and it's not necessarily Bad but just like....... something you can't train for

says he doesn't have anything he's hugely passionate about outside of racing since he's still focused on that but he likes good food and his favorite dish to make is honey soy salmon 🍣

favorite pre-race breakfast atm is poached eggs on toast, lissie mentioned it being lando's answer last year and he goes "well he's not a big fan of fish in case no one's noticed... and i used to get smoked salmon and he used to absolutely hate it" 😭 #whipped

on what he wants people to know about him: "i think a lot of people think i'm very calm, which i think i am. but that i have... i still have my moments. you know, you need the odd moment of rage here and there, and some people like think i'm just... a complete flat line. but i do have my moments"

not the most interesting hklsdh but i hope this is useful :')

[synchodai]

HotD: A Lesson on Why You Shouldn't Write Around "Problematic" Tropes

These are assumptions of course, but I can pinpoint two major plot changes that were changed between adaptations to avoid depicting "problematic" tropes:

Laenor's death is faked to avoid Bury Their Gays.

Alicent is aged down and given a friendship with Rhaenyra to avoid making her an Evil Stepmother.

Let's talk about how anticipating and avoiding the audience's negative reactions to "problematic" elements of your story will, in most cases, actually hinder you from immersing yourself in your world, investing in your characters as people, and imbuing your work with sincerity. Do not meta-narrative when you haven't even have a sound foundational and literal narrative to stand on yet.

On Laenor

Let's start with Laenor. In the show, even his "non-death" happens because he is gay. When he stumbles with Qarl into Rhaenyra's room, Rhaenyra is annoyed that he is not defending their sons from accusations of bastardy, as if it's Laenor's galavanting with men that makes people question their sons' heritage and not the fact that they just don't look like him and there's nothing Laenor can do to change that. He is presented as a problem and an obstacle to Rhaenyra and even admits to his lackings as a father in his final scene — even though, by all accounts, he hasn't gone against the side of the bargain he made with her when they agreed to get married. He hasn't even been depicted to be a neglectful father to his children (while Daemon, the man Rhaenyra marries to replace him, certainly is to his).

And so he willingly agrees to get "fake killed" so Rhaenyra can be with a heterosexual husband. When Rhaenyra talks about replacing Laenor with Daemon, she speaks of it in a way that she believes Daemon could better protect them. You can also read it as Laenor choosing to pursue happiness, but that's contradicted by the fact that he reaffirmed his willingness to be a father to Rhaenyra just before he "fake died." The implications of these are as followed:

Laenor's homosexual tendencies endangers his children

Laenor cannot be a good father because he is gay

Laenor's "true happiness" exists outside of being an adoptive father

And all of these unfortunate implications could have been avoided if: 1) they followed the book implications that someone murdered Laenor (there were many, many suspects other than Rhaenyra or Daemon), or 2) just made their decision to fake his death revolve around something other than Laenor being gay and how that made him inadequate as a husband.

They gave him some lines about being a warrior and a sailor — why not make him miserable in his marriage to Rhaenyra and long to go on Nine Voyages like his father? He knows from his mother Rhaenys's experiences that leaving his wife without a husband will make her vulnerable in court, so he fakes his death so she can still have a husband and he can go on his adventure. But that, of course, would involve thinking of Laenor as more than "the gay one."

Instead, we get a character who is defined by his failure to be the man his wife, sons, and parents needed — and is that really better representation and less problematic than just outright killing him?

On Alicent

Alicent in the books was very politically savvy and very willing to get her hands dirty if she had to. Despite her adherance to the Faith of the Seven which considers incest an abomination, she is the one to offer Aegon II be married to Rhaenyra because she knows this will consolidate their conflicting claims.

In the show, it is Rhaenyra who offers Jace be married to Helaena — but unlike book!Alicent's proposal, marrying Jace to Helaena doesn't actually solve anything. Aegon II still exists as Rhaenyra's challenger, except now his sister is being held hostage. Alicent had every right to reject a proposal because it only really benefited Rhaenyra's side.

Show!Alicent marries Aegon II and Helaena out of spite of this proposal. It is unclear if this was her decision in the books, but I would consider it unlikely to be the case because of her faith. More likely, this was Viserys's idea to tamp down on the greens accruing more influence in court by using Alicent's children's hand in marriage to form alliances with Houses that may defy Rhaenyra's ascension.

I outline all this to say that yes, book!Alicent was antagonistic towards Rhaenyra but she was also willing to marry her to her firstborn son. If she did hate Rhaenyra and consider the girl her rival, she didn't act beyond the bounds of reason and would do whatever it took not to have another woman on the throne. She was perfectly fine with Rhaenyra being queen as long as her son didn't become a target in the process.

Show!Alicent, on the other hand, is a character who seems unwilling to antagonize Rhaenyra no matter the circumstances. So instead, Alicent and Rhaenyra are stripped of their agency and previous motivations so that their "rivalry" is actually just the men around them. They themselves have nothing to do with it. For whatever, the HBO writers have it in their minds that these two women cannot see each other as rivals and enemies at all. These characters can't fight each other and have conflicting desires simply on the basis that they share...womanhood. And women fighting each other is problematic and not a girl's girl and all that.

And how is that any better for representation than just outright making Alicent evil?

It's a shallow understanding of why these plot elements are deemed problematic in the first place.

Firstly, killing queer characters and wicked stepmothers is not bad writing in a vacuum. Gay people do die and some stepmothers are evil in real life. The problem with these tropes lies in their ubiquity. If all gays die and all stepmothers are evil, then that says something about how society views queer people and women in general, doesn't it?

However, if a writer foreswears killing any of their gay characters and making any of their women characters evil just so they don't contribute this trend, then they are purposefully handicapping themselves and their queer/women characters. It's not the individual instances themselves that make these depictions socially harmful or objectionable, but the repeated pattern and lack of alternative representation. If a writer replaces those repeated patterns with just another repeated pattern (say "all stepmothers are evil" with "all mothers are virtuous actually"), they actually haven't avoided spreading a pervasive stereotype — they've just replaced one stereotype with another.

The solution clearly is to break the pattern and provide alternative representation. Don't want to contribute to the harmful messaging that gay people are doomed? Have gay characters who live along with gay characters who die. Don't erase characters like Black Aly and Sabitha Frey, queer characters who play big roles in the Dance and live after it. In fact, they could have emphasized the book's implied queer relationships of characters that were already on screen like Rhaenyra/Laena, Cregan/Jace — never mind the show outright erasing Jeyne Arryn's heavy implications of queerness entirely.

Don't want to contribute to the harmful messaging that women will always be rivals for the affection of a man? Have women friendships along with women rivalries. If Rhaenyra was as fond of Helaena like she said, why do they never talk? Where is Baela and Rhaena's relationship? Where is Jeyne and Rhaenyra's relationship?

Have those deaths, friendships, and rivalries exists outside of their identities as women or queer people. And that's one of the big faults of HotD, in my opinion. Even when it aims to subvert the "problematic" tropes from the book, it still did so in a way that always pigeonholed Laenor as a gay man and Alicent as a woman, with no identity or motivation beyond that. They always anticipated their audience to see those characters as "the gay one" or "the stepmother" and thus, treated them accordingly.

If your characters happen to embody a certain problematic trope but it makes sense to their background, history, and identity, then just let them! Stop seeing your characters as a collection of archetypes and possible tropes and write them as people.

[fumifooms]

so glad you posted that compilation cus i literally can't stop thinking about chilchuck's succubi... everyone else's have so much to be said about them and are so much less straightforward than just classically sexual, but then chilchuck's Truly goes straight for the jugular. when i saw that one panel i could not stop jawdropping at how explicit they went with that implication like it's actually insane to me. i feel like it says a lot about him, what you said about him enjoying the simple pleasures of life like alcohol and sex, and he's really such... a guy. but if this is the most alluring form to him he really should get that divorce even if he still loves his wife i have to be honest LOL poor thing

YEAH literally it’s insane 💀I feel like due to the tension and action of the scene and the way the page is paneled it’s soo easy to brush over it and focus on other things without our eyes actually processing THAT. I have no clue how they’ll make it in the anime without just making it straight up obscene lmao, a friend joked that the sucking sound effect should be like a straw and I’d die laughing if Trigger does that. Maybe like slurping noodles instead. No clue what they’ll do genuinely.

I do believe Chilchuck is just Like That™️, but yes I also like to think that it reflects how deeper connections have hurt him in the past so he prefers relationships where he’s just there to do his job or just there to have fun without thinking and not have to worry about betrayal etc etc. He’s not there to think and have emotions he just wants to feel good for a while and be seduced and those things (succubi, sex alcohol etc) sure do that.

I wouldn’t say that this is the line crossed for why he shouldn’t get back with his wife though!! I do get the feeling that he and his wife just aren’t compatible and that they don’t communicate well, and with Chilchuck saying "I don’t know if it’ll go as well as in the stories, but I’ll try" about reaching out to her, and with idealization vs the actual person/thing being a big theme in Dungeon Meshi where we don’t know just how much he loves her or if he loves the ideal/memories of her, I do feel like they should reconcile but not get back together. BUT! I think the whole "most alluring form" thing shouldn’t be treated as the ultimatum that people often treat it as, the succubus chapters really reflect a bunch of themes that are present in the whole series, like ‘irrational instinctive desire vs what you actually want and need’ and such.

Again I’ll be spoiling a future analysis I want to make but… If the characters were to have their full minds in those chapters, what they rationally want most is very different than the succubus they got, something can be alluring but you’d still refuse it, like idk a cigar, hence why the succubi need to freeze their victims by reading their irrational desires so well. Chilchuck has gone 4 years since his separation with his wife still being faithful to her!!! FOUR!!! Had he his capacities he would not be cheating on her no sir. He’s marriage man have some faith. Had they their minds Laios and Marcille would be imagining Falin safe and welcoming instead. It’s much like with the Winged Lion, where the desires it twists the characters into aren’t the one they actually pursue (well, in Laios’ case at least. It emphases on them a ton even when it is a desire they show in everyday life), the monster twists the desires to have the outcome they want, it’s manipulation.

If your point is that the succubi don’t look like his wife though like come onnn you can’t either be asexual or think your partner is the literal prettiest person on Earth supermodel-like level to be with them and truly love them and be devoted come on… If that new blackhaired half-foot woman is her, then we saw with the succubi that he does favor her kind of eye shape, and idk that’s so much more romantic to me than hair color 🥺 Come onn he’s just a lil birthday guy he wants pleasure but he can’t fantasize about his wife bc it’d make him sad come onnn come on don’t hold it against him come onnn… Oh although I do read his "All your succubi are blonde, is your wife too?" "Shut up, don’t bring her up now!!" as guilt, bc he has a hard time thinking of himself as virtuous so I imagine in that moment he’s like "Man maybe this is why she left me… Maybe I really am not a virtuous husband…" and it’s like BUDDY a monster is playing you like a fiddle don’t make yourself feel bad over it 😭😭 I did write a fic around that concept though hehe 👈 But yes just defending my guy’s VIRTUES a bit out there. I do agree his wife had it rough, it must be so lonely and a lil devaluating to be his wife and always waiting on him and he can’t even work up the emotional maturity to voice that he loves you regularly when he is home 💀 Man is NOT a storybook prince charming

[godhasatenderheart]

Hello there. As a fellow Christian, I really enjoy a lot of posts on your blog. I think sharing the love of God is very important. But one post on your blog gave me a bit of pause. You see, something that often causes me distress is the idea of people going to hell. I understand that free will and consent is important to God. I know that hell has to exist because there needs to be just punishment for sin in the world and that it's one of the biggest things Jesus has saved us from.

But still, I worry about people going there. I don't want people going there. It's part of the reason why the Great Commission is so important. So, the post that gave me a bit of a pause, as it often does when I see it crop up, was the part about a line being drawn in the sand and the wailing about "Why won't you accept us?" Presumably, this is referring to the LGBTQ+ community and how the Bible forbids homosexuality. I won't get into the parts about whether the translations are correct or not - it is an area in which I have doubts - there are plenty of other areas of which I do not have doubts. Do we not all have our struggles in our faith? I believe Jesus died for my sins, was raised from the grave, that He forgives me of my sins - He is my Lord and Savior. I've confessed this with my mouth and in my heart and to people I don't know and to you (who I also don't know). I think that is first and foremost the most important thing. And also the two greatest commandments as outlined by Jesus: to love God with all your heart and all your mind and all your strength and to love your neighbor as yourself.

With this in mind, can we hold sinners, those who have not yet accepted Christ to our same standards? They don't yet know the love of Christ! Jesus ate with prostitutes and tax collectors - those deemed the most sinful in His day. Didn't Jesus wait until AFTER he saved the woman about to be stoned for adultery before saying "Go and sin no more?" Should we not be throwing our doors open and inviting people in with no expectations - only love - presenting the Gospel "with all gentleness and respect" - teaching the love of Christ first, praying that God will turn their hearts towards them, and then letting the Holy Spirit do His work?

Instead, we say, "No. We do not accept you as you are. Do NOT come as you are. We have nothing to teach you." We say, "Do not come here. You will be judged by us. Our primary goal isn't your salvation; it's to get you to stop being gay / transgender / etc." "You don't get God's forgiveness and love."

The church is in decline for many, many reasons that don't just have to do with a "change in culture." God hasn't stopped working. There are people still seeking Jesus but getting turned away by the workers of the harvest. And I just... I have a lot of feelings about that. I don't think we should discard the Bible.

But does desiring the salvation of as many souls as possible mean I'm living a life of compromise? Am I saying "Did God really say-" or am I saying, "What about when God said this? What about when Jesus did that? Aren't those things important, too?"

Hello, beloved! Forgive me for not knowing which post of mine you're referring to, but I'll try to answer as best I can.

My main goal is to get people curious about God, because once they open their hearts to Him, even for a moment, He reveals Himself, and they become convicted by the Holy Spirit. I think it's okay to bring newcomers to God, help them find their footing, and then allow God to handle the rest. He is sovereign, and will guide them along the way.

The truth is, I am bisexual. I was also an alcoholic and abused marijuana during the time I found God. If, before I gave my heart to Him, someone had listed all my sins, I would have presumed I was condemned to Hell for eternity and not pursued a relationship with Him. Or, if I had pursued it, I would have felt nagging shame, believing I wasn't good enough and constantly fearing for my salvation. For this reason, I believe it's best to establish God's love and mercy first and foremost. Our God is forgiving, and He will forgive us if we come to Him.

If we lead with harsh criticisms when evangelizing, we give people the impression that God is cruel, tyrannical, and abusive. Since finding God, I've been able—by His power—to avoid sexual sin and stop using substances. It wasn't me who did this, but God. We can't overcome our sinful desires without Him, and when we approach people first with criticism, it makes them feel like they have to “fix” themselves before ever coming to God. This is backwards. When you break your arm, you don't try to cast it yourself—you go straight to the hospital. The same is true of our sin and God. We must go to our healer to be healed.

We cannot overcome sin on our own, so why do we, as Christians, expect people to cure themselves or make themselves presentable before coming to God? I believe in going out into the fields, gathering the lost sheep, and bringing them back to the Shepherd. He is the expert when it comes to His sheep. He knows exactly how to handle us, and indeed, He is the only one who truly can.

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

—Romans 5:8 (ESV)

What do you wish? Shall I come to you with a rod, or with love in a spirit of gentleness?

—1 Corinthians 4:21 (ESV)

I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.

—Luke 5:32 (ESV)

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

They love you - they would do anything for you!

Words mean nothing if there's no action to prove them true!

The whole statement from the "evil book" - mind you- "bound for all eternity, nothing can break or bind the evil" is a capital B big fat lie!

A dear anon has already mentioned this before here on my blog through an ask. The gullibility of Amaya and the rest of the people of rosas almost hurts. Of course an evil book would tell you there is no way to get out of the dark!

Disney isn't the first and only one who has been spreading the message of "True love breaks evey curse and true love overcomes all. And darkness can never be greater than the light."

From the christian perspective, it's more than clear that everything said by the evil book isn't trustworthy as far as salvation goes! Evil isn't stronger than the good and never will be!

It's also intersting to note that the evil force (green evil magic) is potrayed as this shadow entity 👇🏼

Also, why trust the words of something that literally does nothing but evil and harm?

Even if we look at the whole Magnifico situation purely objectively, like my cousins daughter, not through the lense of faith and leaving the knowledge of trauma aside, the "He's a villain now and can't be saved" is utter nonsense!

The first half of the movie we are told and shown Magnifico's true intentions. His ambitions and desires. We saw him being genuine all the way. He's always been honest and kind. He never lied, played or manipultated anyone and even further explained multiple times how he feels and why he does what he does. And then we are shown "the book" the big bad thing that will defenitly do harm and take posession of Magnifico should he use it!

That's the information! If Magnifico uses the book, he will be "controlled" by the evil from this book! This is what even Amaya said! Plain and clear.

Also, geeky side fact to the orgins of the book : Magnifico didn't get the book himself, nor did he built the evil lair where he later on created his staff. From the art book we know that he found both the book and the evil lair during the renovations. [ He's built his castle on top of an already existing building ] That means, Magnifico didn't even go to pursue such a book. He found it and kept it. Cause we already know why - trauma rooted fear, anxiety, paranoia.

If someone is controlled/posessed by something, it's more than clear that the person isn't at fault for the actions done by the evil in them! Just look at the insane difference!

Oh yeah ... I know a posession by evil if I see one. And in this case, we had the facts served on a silver tray. It's not even a guessing game.

The only thing we can hold Magnifico accountable for is the fact he did reach for the book. But then again, we also need to consider WHY he did. Reason - his trauma! He was terrified!

If the book hadn't been there, believe me, this poor man would have had the worst mental breakdown and we would have probably found him huddled together on the ground suffering out his panic attack.

People don't understand the merry go round of thoughts a traumatized person has. And the emotions that come with it. In a situation as intense as Magnifico's we do have a domino effect. Or a wildfire-effect. One tiny spark on dry grass will eventually lead to a big fire. He was already triggered and highly stressed out, and severly traumatized people oftentimes aren't able to make the best decissions - or decissions at all.

If I think about it - if I had suffered a trauma as intense as Magnifico, already more than burdened with anxiety, fear and paranoia, and then something happens that triggers me immensely, I spend an entire night feverishly searching for an answer or solution, no sleep, no food, immense stress…. on top of that, no one in the entire kingdom that truly understands me ... Boy, I'd probably freak out and snap too.

The most support he's gotten during his spiral of misery was a pat to the shoulder. Not one single hug, no truly comforting words, a gentle stroke over his cheek, a kiss, truly loving words. That poor man got nothing!

Btw this is a quote from my cousins daughter. And she told it to my face randomly before I could even say anything! She said "You know, Magnifico isn't bad. The book is. He only wanted to protect everyone but the book made him evil. Bad book!"

And if that wasn't already enough, her younger brother watched the movie as well and then also randomly told me, "Bad book!" Furthermore - I wheezed and cried of laughter, because 1. I didn't expect this and 2. it was absolutely brilliant! - The daughter sat at the table and was drawing again, and then she told me, "The movie ... the magician and the bad book ..." The title she gave WISH! She made Magnifico the protagonist and the evil book the villain! Exactly right!

Anyway, then it happens, everyone KNOWS Magnifico is "controlled/posessed" and yet all of the sudden he himself is the evil? What??

In the past ten decades, disney had always done a fantastic job in displaying true evil and the - true love always wins - message. Even with quite recent movies such as Tangled, Frozen, Encanto etc. We've been introduced to the trauma topic and that "antagonists" can and should be saved.

I mean, I'm absolutely glad that we got Magnifico the way we got him, but I'm enraged about the toxic stance toward trauma.

If I'm looking at what disney did in the tangled series with Varian and Cassandra, who both had a short time period where they've been pushed down the "villain" road by trauma and by the hurt of not feeling valued, seen, heard or treated right and how this got resolved, I can only shake my head at what disney did in Wish.

Cassandra as much as Varian in fact- especially Cassandra- threatened the whole kingdom and also strived to hurt Rapunzel more than just once.

And she wasn't directly posessed by evil but heavily manipulated and blinded by it. All her "Evil actions" were completelty on her! And Rapunzel stressed that no matter what, she'll never give up on Cassandra. Why? Because she truly loved her! Because she knew that this evil wasn't who she truly is.

Rapunzel said "Even when I look at you now, after all that's happened, no matter what we've done to each other, I still see that look in your eyes. You're my best friend, Cassandra, and I will never give up on you!"

Can you imagine what could have been if Amaya and all the citizens of Rosas would have had that attitude towards Magnifico? Truly loving him for who he is and not only seeing him as a source for favours? They all simply didn't care! If they had, they wouldn't have given up on him as quick as the snap of a finger.

So we've seen antagonists and semi-villains getting redeemed before and we've seen the "True love conquers all" more than enough, and now, especially with Magnifico, disney and some ignorant haters want to tell us that this isn't what could have happened to Magnifico too?

It's ridiculous!

And the citizens of Corona forgave both Cassandra and Varian!

Now, once more, the "book" said - nothing can bind the evil magic! Yet this is exactly what happened after the people of Rosas unified and sang! The lights glowing in their chests is actually symbolic for their hearts unifying! It was immediately stronger than the hold of the evil magic, even though the book said, it's untouchable!

The evil magic was bound, "star" was set free and Magnifico pulled into the curse realm. You cannot tell me if they all had done the same thing with the goal in their hearts to free and save Magnifico, that they wouldn't have succeeded.

[lightofraye]

You are ridiculous, you have proof of nothing, all you have is selective blindness and deafness. you just choose to ignore every instance in which Jensen shows affection to anyone who isn't Jared. it doesn't matter how many times he expresses that he loves his wife, or his other friends like Misha. or even his own kids. you just don't want to hear it. all the good things he has, all the blessings and the large amount of love surrounding him, you don't want to see that, you rather have a drama novel. you don't want to see Jensen as a real person, all you can see is the twisted version of him that you made up on your head, a poor diminished guy who needs alcohol to cope with his miserable life and whose only friend in the whole wide world is JP. so how does your little novel ends? maybe you should write it down and finally be done with it. does Jensen die at the end? does he kills himself? or perhaps he's murdered by Danneel.

Y’know… I was going to put off answering this until tomorrow, but no.

Because you actually said something so horrific it demanded a response.

You think that’s the fate Jensen deserves? I mean… did you really think he doesn’t deserve a happy ending? Because I never said that. You did.

In fact, the part about the kids baffle me. Where have I ever said he doesn’t deserve his children? If anything my heart has been broken by the fact he’s away so much—forced to be away—that his eldest daughter is crying over it.

And you say I don’t see him as a real person? Really? What’s the flip side of my perspective? The AAs who see him so perfect, never capable of making a mistake? Who of us doesn’t see him as a real person?

I see his flaws. To borrow a phrasing an anon used on another blog, I see his freckles. I see his slightly crooked nose. I see those adorable eye crinkles that come out in full force when he smiles

I also see the man who made a terrible business and personal decision years ago when he decided to pursue The Winchesters without involving Jared. I also see the man whose decisions on the set that nearly cost a man his life.

I see the man.

Not the perfect Ken doll y’all are so insistent he is.

He’s flawed. A real human being.

And no, I don’t think he’s really friends with Misha because he’s never seen anywhere outside of cons with him. And given what a blabbermouth Misha is, we’d know in a heartbeat.

Hollywood is full of users, anon. Leeches. Hanger-ons. And fanatical fans.

No, you’re right, I don’t believe him when he says he loves Danneel—but when was the last time he’s said that? Not “she’s perfect for me” or “strong woman”. When was the last time he said he loved her?

You’re allowing your irritation with me to affect you, anon. I don’t know why you and the others are so insistent on arguing with me. What would be the purpose behind it?

To dissuade me? To persuade me otherwise? Why? I’m not here to change your mind. I merely share my opinions, much like I’m sure you do on your blog.

The only difference is, I’m not going to pro-Jensen blogs or pro-Misha blogs or anti-Jared blogs and harassing them.

That’s the difference between us. I’m expressing my opinions on my blog and am at peace with allowing others to think and feel as they like on their blogs.

I only speak up and act when there’s actual bullying or harassment or threats of violence to others—because we should absolutely care about that, regardless of who it is.

Here you are, mocking me, calling me stupid, coming up with horrific scenarios you seem to think I believe Jensen deserves (really?).

I see the world for what it really is, anon. I try to balance that with a little bit of hope and faith that maybe humanity isn’t entirely lost. That by speaking up about abuse, someone will be saved. By pointing out dangerous lies, someone will open their eyes.

What is your purpose here? To be bitter and angry that maybe, just maybe, your perfect image isn’t perfect after all?

Be better. Do better.

Accept that I have a different opinion. Block me, block my tags.

Go in peace. I hope you someday find some solace in this world.