#but i had to get it out there at 2am so it wouldn't bother me all day tomorrow

[chirpsythismorning]

@greenfiend got it! It's his watch!

Will went from wearing his watch on his left arm for four seasons, to suddenly wearing it on his right for the final season.

Now, this may seem insignificant to some, but there are a lot of different aspects of this that make it hard to write off completely.

For starters, the only reason I noticed this was because people were freaking out that something might be wrong with Will's arm since Noah covered it up in that recent bts. But when I went back to look at it, I was instantly confused by the fact that his watch was on his right arm and not his left.

Which brings me to another aspect of this that has been talked about, but not nearly enough. There was even a tiktok someone made (that I can never find when I'm looking for it), that speculates Will is somehow being guided by the mindflayer in s3. And they had the proof to back it up too imo.

They showed how it was Will who suggested they go to the hospital in s3, and not only that, but as he was saying this, he is isolated from everyone else on his own in the background. And this continues in the hospital, with Will not being included in shots that have literally everyone else, and when he is there, there is a huge shadow next to him, with there being visible distance between him and the others.

When I saw this I was obviously shook and wanted to dig into it a little deeper, bc if this is actually happening, there's gotta be more hints pointing to it right? And I discovered that it just so happens Will chooses a different arm to reach for his neck, at a very incriminating moment in the season...

Here we have Will reaching for his neck with his left arm in 3x01.

And here we have Will reaching for his neck with his right arm, seconds before saying He's back in 3x03, and for the rest of the season up until the finale...

While editing this, I came across something a bit terrifying, and so I have to share it now.

I was rewatching some of the cabin scenes, because I figured, if there's a lot of hints that Will is compromised at Heather's and at the hospital, then why wouldn't there be hints about it at the cabin as well. And obviously there is. The main one being that the mindflayer found them in the first place. How did it do that exactly? Not to mention Will's weird sort of glances at El as she talks about the mindflayer, but to be fair you could just write that off as nerves on Will's part. So whose to say that is definitive proof that Will is compromised?

I say this next sequence most definitely is...

Here we get a pan around the room as everyone tries to help block different points in the cabin that mindflayer might try to get in from.

And here we have Will and Lucas working together to block this window.

Then we leave Will and follow Lucas around the room as he continues the effort to prevent the mindflayer from getting in.

And this continues until we make a full loop back to where we started. The first shot we get after that long pan is of Nancy grabbing the gun off the table, with Will busying himself in the background by the bookcase, in that exact same spot he was helping Lucas a few moments before.

Now, sure, you could say that Will is just being thorough here. Maybe he just wanted to make sure the bookcase was properly covering the window. Because wouldn't it be a disaster if he hadn't made sure and the mindflayer ended up entering in through that exact spot???

Oh wait... It did.

Now idk if Will is aware of what's going on. I would think he's not doing this intentionally because he's putting everyone including himself in danger.

But what I do know is that it is painfully ironic that this is happening after Mike said in the previous season that they would not let this very thing happen. And now suddenly in s3, Mike isn't there to really be a 'we' with Will anymore, at least not until it's too late. At first it's mostly Will's fault because he brushes Mike off when he asks at the movies. Fair enough. But then it happens a second time, maybe worth mentioning to Mike now, but when Will turns around, Mike is running off with El. And finally at Castle Byers after the rain fight, which is literally the moment the mindflayer apparently decides that he needs Will again, which checks out based on the events that seem to be following here... It's kind of funny, in like a tragic way, but still comical nonetheless.

But anyways, back to wrist business. Here we have the last time Will reaches for his neck in s3, and thankfully he switches back to his left arm.

What a nice way to close things off. So at least we know he's no longer compromised and is free from any sort of spying, right? Right?...

How am I'm supposed to stay calm knowing they switched to putting his watch on his right arm now?? Knowing all of this?

I mean you can even take this back to the very beginning, when Joyce said that Will had a birthmark on his right arm upon identifying his body at the morgue. They don't show us, in fact they make it quite difficult for us to see because they give us a reflection of him from inside of the room as we look on at Joyce from the window on the outside. But it's implied the birthmark was there and Joyce was just still refusing to believe it was him anyways. Because if it wasn't there, she would have used that as an argument going forward, as that was the whole of her mentioning it in the first place.

And not only that, but there is an almost eerie focus on Will's wrists throughout the entire show, which is hard to ignore when looked at all together, especially in the context of all of this.

I already covered s3 pretty extensively before this, so let's just jump to s4.

S4 is sort of the odd man out compared to the previous 3 seasons. While it's hard to pinpoint any sort of consistency here, given that they're not even in Hawkins until the very end, there still manage to be some shots that center Will's arm in a way (specifically his right arm), that I don't know if I can ignore given everything that has led up to this, and what may still lie ahead.

This is low-key reminding me of how bylers geek out over the fact that Will used his right hand to use morse code and warn them to close the gate back in s2, and the fact that it was the same hand Mike held earlier in that season, when he told him that they wouldn't let the shadow-monster spy...

Okay now it's not funny anymore...

Which one is different?

[lxnarphase]

OKAY…here’s a 2AM thought…….jjk men and you in a sundress 😙👓🤏 oohhhh they’d go absolutely FERAL LUNAR !!! RAAAHHHHHH and if they were chubby reader…oh my god…they’re all PERVS actually . um..special mention: choso, nanami..u cant change my mind. They’d absolutely want to fuck/eat you out in it. The way it stops just a liiiittlleee below your ass..mhm..maybe they wouldn’t want anyone else seeing you in it, I fear. maybe you don’t even reach the door before they stop you..

- 🧸 (hope uve been good ! it’s been a while ^^)

✮₊‧⁺...lunar's note: hi teddy i have missed you oh-so much my beloved !! i wasn't sure if we are talking like actual sundresses or the bodycon 'sundresses' but i worked with it :3cc don't mind me throwing in satoru i couldn't help it

✮₊‧⁺...content: fem!reader, pussy eating, semi-public sex, pervy men, clothed sex, dirty talk, it gets a bit silly during satoru's piece but he's a freak what do you expect

✧ k. choso ↴

choso jumped on you the second you came out of the bathroom in the dress, the thin straps showing your shoulders, and your legs were so pretty and shiny from that sparkly lotion you used; what else was he supposed to do? let you walk outside and have other men and women look at you?! absolutely not! so instead, he had you on your back, his hands holding yours as he desperately fucked into you, doing his best to glare down at you as if this whole situation was your fault. "you...you're too beautiful for y-your own good," he groans, the wet slap of his hips against yours filling the room. "too fucking beautiful, just wanna...wanna fuck you like this every time before we go out, make you all soft and warm inside just for me." his eyes are locked on your face, taking in every part of your expression—the embarrassment on your face, the slight parting of your plush lips, the flutter of your eyelashes. it's almost too much for him. you keen his name when a subtle shift has him pressing deeper inside, unable to keep your hips from rolling with his thrusts. "c-choso, d-don't talk like that, it's embarrassing," you whine as you squeeze his hands when you feel his tip brush against something that makes you melt. choso's eyes get sharper as he hones in on that reaction, doing his best to thrust right against that spot again and again and again. "nononono, please? tell me you like it, t-tell me you love hearing how much you turn me on, how perfect y-your cunt feel wrapped around me. please, baby, for me, need to know so badly," he whines back to you, leaning down to nip, lick, and suck on your bottom lip, desperate to hear you repeat those words back to him. so much for making it to brunch on time.

✧ n. kento ↴

you wouldn't expect kento to get so wound up from such a simple dress. nor did you expect him to tug you away to the bathroom in the middle of the luncheon he brought you to. yet, here you are, one hand over your mouth while the other holds up the soft, flowy fabric of your yellow sundress while kento sloppily kissed, sucked, and slurped on your pussy. it shouldn't be so hot, but when he looks up at you, his brows furrowed as he devours you... "fuck, kento, w-what the hell," you whine, hips grinding into his mouth. "shh, hun, don't get too loud," he hushes as if he's not overwhelmed by the taste of you or by the sounds of your soft muffled noises filling the room. he couldn't help himself from getting hot and bothered, not after seeing his gorgeous girl walking around in this stunning dress. was it the dress? or was the fact it was on you? he can't think straight enough to give himself an answer, his tongue delving deeper as he sucks and kisses your soft folds like a man starved. "you're so pretty," he sighs against you, sounding so in love. nanami's merciless as he works you over with his hot mouth, his tongue delving into your slick folds, circling your clit with precision. your hips buck against his face, mouth opening just as you're about to tell him you're getting close, to give you more, that you wanted to cum...and then someone knocks on the door, making him pause. "yoo-hoo, nanaminnn, where'd you go? we're lookin' for you and your girlfriend, it's dessert time!" gojo. of course. "kento, please let me kill him, i'm begging you." "and let you have all the fun? not a chance."

✧ g. satoru ↴

oh, satoru doesn't even let you get out the door when you try to tell him that thing is a sundress. it was too tight, too short to be a sundress! his head whipped between you and the picture of the pretty, flowy dress on his phone. yeah, no, no one else was going to see you in that dress that was hugging your hips so perfectly, or the way he could see how your tummy pressed against the front... so, it shouldn't be a surprise when he all but bunches it up on your waist and smushes his face into your clothed cunt and sniffs. "satoru, you pervert!" you try to scold him, face on fire as your hands tug at his hair to get him away from being so bold. but he just whines, nipping your inner thighs. "don't push me away, let me kiss her!" just the smell of you had him groaning, cock hard in his sweatpants. and you planned to go outside without him in this tiny thing, leaving him all horny and needy?! no way in hell was he letting that happen. soon, your panties are wet and soaked from his messy mouth pressing against them because the impatient man couldn't be bothered to tug them to the side. the lewd, wet sounds of his mouth working against you fill the room, mixing with your embarrassed sighs and gasps. "s-satoru, just take my panties off, t-this, mmh, is gross," you weakly pout before squealing when he sucked right on your clit. he was such an asshole... "she's so cute, such a cute pussy. you were gonna go out in this tiny thing without lettin' me give both my girls kisses? such a meanie," he whines, swirling his tongue around your clit through the fabric, his hands pulling your hips closer to his face. "what if your dress slipped up and people saw this cunt, hm? 'm never lettin' you go outside again, you can wear all your cute outfits and just sit on my face 'til i die." "y-you're so nasty, satoru..."

all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work

[daisyswift3]

Cardiac Arrest, CPR, and the Reticent Volcano 🌋🎁

So yesterday I made a very interesting discovery while watching the TTPD (track) lyric vid that led to me having several epiphanies at once. If you watch the vid, you'll notice that for the most part the lyrics are in all caps save for a few lines. Of these lines, one in particular, “like a tattooed Golden Retriever,” caught my attention bc it has 2 capital letters--G and R--that you wouldn't have been able to see if the line was in all caps like the ones just before it. What makes it more interesting is that golden retriever is not a proper noun like a name or title so it shouldn't be capitalized according to English grammar rules.

This led me to search for the TTPD album booklet scans to see if this was also capitalized in the booklet and to see what other words were capitalized. Then after looking at the booklet it hit me--CPR(G)!!! Charlie Puth Retriever Golden. Everyone agreed these lyrics sounded a little odd compared to the rest of her lyrics and the shout out to Charlie Puth seemed kind of random. But now it makes complete sense why she wrote those lyrics. She was trying to draw attention to the capital letters CPR(G) that are repeated throughout the album. In this post I explained that Taylor mentions CPR in So Long, London bc they're all related to each other, they're a family. C=Cassandra=Taylor; P=Peter=her 2nd kid; R=Robin=her 1st kid; G=Gold/Golden=Karlie. If you look at the TTPD tracklist, Cassandra, Peter, and Robin are in the same order as CPR.

Taylor wanted to acknowledge her family in some way on this album and so she represented them w these 4 letters which are likely a stand-in for the Swift-Kloss family crest since I don't believe that showed up on this album. This is the key to deciphering several of the anon messages and understanding why some things are lowercase while other things are capitalized. For example, all of the volcano 🌋anon messages and the last 2 messages from (PR)esent anon 🎁 are lowercase with the exception of the words "Gold" and "Goodbye." This connects these messages to TTPD (track). "Gold" is highlighted like "volcano" to indicate that Miss Gold Rush is going to be a part of the atomic bomb Taylor is getting ready to drop. And the "Goodbye" being capitalized indicates that Karlie is indeed the "neighbor" in this message and in Fortnight as well as "the woman who sits by the window" in Peter that turns out the light/lamp. She is the one who keeps a lit jack-o-lantern 🎃 on the front porch while awaiting Taylor's return home from exile. These things single-handedly prove that 🌋 and present 🎁 anon are indeed legit bc how would a troll have been able to predict these things when The Anthology tracks were surprise dropped at 2am and weren't revealed w the standard edition tracks on Feb 5, and why would a troll even bother w such subtle details?? Plus no lyrics had leaked yet at the time these messages were sent so the only logical answer is that they must've either been sent by Taylor or someone close to her.

Side note: When I first wrote that post analyzing the present 🎁 anon messages, I had thought that the song Robin, and maybe Peter as well, was the gift/present to us kaylors that present 🎁 anon told us to look out for since P's and R's are repeated in the messages. However, I have since figured out that actually the poetry book For now, she slumbers was likely the gift since present 🎁 anon's messages mention the title of the book "for now, she slumbers" and "reticent volcano" which is the author's name as an anagram (see this post). Plus the March 4 message directly quotes the first poem in For now, she slumbers called "Two" ✌️ (If you want to read all the poems in order see this post). I explain in this post that the reason why this poem is the first one in the book is bc it's the key to understanding all the ones that follow and to understanding TTPD. The 2 ✌️ is probably the most important motif in TTPD bc it symbolizes the 2 different versions of Taylor and 2 opposing narratives abt her life that exist. Taylor Swift the brand vs Taylor Swift the person; the boy-crazy maneater that only writes songs abt her ex-boyfriends vs the tortured closeted queer poet that is forced to hide her truth behind metaphors and red herrings. Going back to the CPR of it all, I still believe my initial analysis of the present 🎁 anon messages was correct for the most part since the "reticent volcano" is likely a tell-all memoir that will explain the whole messy story and how and why she kept her family (CPRG) a secret. The purpose of the 🎁 and 🌋 anon messages was to guide us to both the poetry book and to CPR(G) which both foreshadow what her memoir--that she's hinted at w The Manuscript and The Story of Us--is going to be abt.

Now continuing on w the theory, as I mentioned previously, we have Cassandra=Taylor, Peter=her 2nd kid, and Robin=her 1st kid. And if you look at the pg in the booklet w The Manuscript, you'll see that there is a capital G in "Good Samaritan" which completes the CPRG set and is also the only capital G that shows up in this song.

And to tie it all together, if you look at the summary poem/epilogue at the very end, Taylor mentions cardiac arrest. This happens when someone's heart suddenly stops functioning and can be reversed by CPR! "I stopped CPR after all it's no use, the spirit was gone we would never come to." And this connects to You're Losing Me (From the Vault) which is abt the fans not seeing the real her or paying attention to her repeated queer signaling -> "I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore for you, 'cause you're losing me." Taylor has given up trying to get her fans to listen to her (CPR) and has accepted that she may lose a lot of them when she reveals everything (CPRG). She is warning them that they are abt to lose the Taylor that they know, the old Taylor, bc she is going to have to kill her public persona and brand in order to be reborn as the new version of herself and move onto the next chapter of her life.

And to add even more evidence to this theory, CPR is often performed on drowning victims, and where does drowning show up in TTPD? Oh it shows up in The Bolter which just so happens to be sandwiched in between Cassandra, Peter, and Robin! -> "By all accounts, she almost drowned when she was 6 in frigid water...And she liked the way it tastes, taming a bear, making him care, watching him jump then pulling him under...as she was leaving, it felt like breathing/freedom" // "When I was drowning that's when I could finally breathe." Drowning also shows up in Guilty as Sin which I've determined probably represents the acceptance stage of grief so the drowning metaphor checks out (see this post) -> "Drowning in the Blue Nile, he sent me 'Downtown Lights.'" (Also check out this amazing video which explains the Blue Nile and religious connections). This connects to the 8th 🎃 message where Taylor chooses to jump into shark infested waters and sacrifice her image and brand so that her lover doesn't have to. So putting all these pieces together, this means that by giving up on trying to revive her relationship w her fans or to maintain her image (CPR) and by putting her family and her happiness first (CPRG), Taylor will finally be able to be truly free. She is going to let Taylor Swift the brand drown so that she can finally breathe. This connects to The Black Dog where she compares the red herrings/bearding/lavender haze/smokescreen to an old habit like smoking that she's trying to quit -> "6 weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke."

Now w all this context in mind, it makes more sense why Taylor has been emphasizing capital and lowercase letters and the number 4 recently. The hidden word hunt on Apple Music, thanK you aIMee, imgonnagetyouback, her retweets from 4/21/23-4/24/23 which happened in groups of 4, putting 4 letter words in all caps, etc. And now it's clear that "I keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault" is most likely referring to her explosive tell-all memoir, the reticent volcano, she's going to publish since 🌋 anon's messages were all in lowercase. "Restful, reticent, restraint" = locked inside a vault. Rep tv and the folklore and evermore vault tracks may also be included in this since these albums are in lowercase as well.

In conclusion, I think it is safe to say now that all of these anons are probably legit. In my opinion, all of these connections provide concrete evidence that these anons do foreshadow things and have ties to Taylor.

[deejayrockz]

PAIRING — teacher!wilbur x teacher!reader

SUMMARY — the grumpy geography teacher gets teased about his slightly obvious crush on the english teacher across the hall.

NOTES — grumpy x sunshine trope, shy!wilbur because i said so, fem!reader (use of miss when referring to reader).

EXTRAS — i am in love with this idea so badly ohmyggoodd, written at 2am so might be sloppy my bad 💔 short little drabble i had, might expand on it tomorrow

Wilbur, or Mr. Soot as his students know him, was currently in his room, sitting in the most uncomfortable teachers chair you could ever imagine. The class he currently taught were silent, as they usually were for him, heads down working on some past paper he had found for them to complete.

Wilbur has never quite understood how teachers had enough time in the day to come up with fun learning ideas for their students, but he never dwelled on it long, as he enjoyed waffling on about different countries and places. His students didn't quite enjoy it (they made that clear after multiple students had called him the 'boring teacher').

"Mr. Soot?" He heard your voice from the doorway, causing his head to lift up, looking at you with a sort of calm expression. This was rare to see on his face, as it was usually flat with the odd smile every now and again.

"I believe these are yours," You walked closer, seeing the printed papers he had sent off just a few minutes ago, in your hand, "English printers are broken, had to use the geography ones, hope I wasn't too much of a bother."

You could never be a bother. Not to him, atleast. Wilbur had decided he had simply admired your teaching skills, nothing more, nothing less.

"You weren't, thank you," He muttered. He could feel his cheeks tingle slightly as your hands brushed when he took them out of your hand and placed them on his desk.

The minute you left he heard small snickers from his students, arguably causing his face to heat up more. He sighed, which had just made the students giggle a little more. He wouldn't deny the embarrassment he felt after realising the whole class had now believed that he and the sweet, caring english teacher had something going on.

After what felt like the most painful and excruciating 10 minutes of his life, the class had finally ended, leaving him alone in his classroom for break. Well, he was alone. Until you decided that those very embarrassing 30 seconds you spoke while in his room weren't enough.

"Hey, Mr. Soot," You smiled, walking into his room and perching yourself on one of the empty desks. He sent you a smile before forcing himself to look away, paying insanely close attention to the paper he was marking.

"Hey," He replied, looking back up at you from his desk

"You seem lonely." Your legs swung back and forth as you crossed your ankles together, leaning back on your palms.

"It's nice, prefer the quiet." Will leaned back in his chair, twiddling with a pen he had in his hand.

"So, you wouldn't enjoy keeping me company during lunch and breaks?" You raised your eyebrows, tilting your head in a mocking manner. He scoffed, as if you were joking. You weren't.

"Don't you usually have students in there?"

"I do, but they wouldn't mind an extra person. Besides, I much prefer talking to someone my age than some 15 year old," You smirked, standing up from your seated position on the desk, and making your way out.

"It'll be nice for a change, I promise," You smile at him and he swears his heart skips a beat. That shouldn't be normal. Should his heart be moving so quickly? He was forced to not send himself into a deep spiral of possible medical problems he could have wrong with him, as the bell had gone off, signalling third period.

Fourth period, with a class of year sevens that had just had a geography lesson, was arguably the worst. It was lunch next, and they were all hungry, tired, and usually annoyed from their last lesson. However, today seemed a little different. They seemed almost relieved, as if their last lesson wasn't so bad.

"Hey, Miss, did you see Mr. Soot today?" One of them had asked, as you paused from writing the date on the board.

"Yeah, I saw him earlier, why?" You turned, facing the smiling eleven year olds in their seats.

"Did you see how happy he was?" Another had asked, "He was standing up, moving his hands around, he even smiled more than three times, that's a new record."

"Oh, right," You smiled, going back to teaching literature as your class kept cutting in to babble about possible theories. A new girlfriend. A baby. God, they even suspected he had a wedding coming up, but that was quickly shut down by another student, claiming (and i quote), "He wouldn't have the guts to get down on one knee."

It was rude, but you let out a small giggle anyway, as did the rest of the students. After a long lesson of gossiping about the geography teachers possible love life, with a side of english, the bell had finally rung, dismissing the students to lunch. If you told everyone you heart didn't almost explode when a certain teacher had come into your room and sat down next to you, ignoring the small side eyes he got from some year 11s eating their lunch with you, you'd be lying.

"Mr. Soot, I thought you preferred eating alone? That's what you told us when we offered you join us," A student had asked, brushing their hands on a small napkin they were forced to clean the table up with after they ate.

He simply shrugged, tugging his chair slightly closer so he fit right next to you. Your knees almost touched. It took everything in him to not give you a slight nudge on the knee, fearing he'd stretch the teacher/co-worker boundaries too far. Those fears of his, however, were soon revoked, when you had moved your leg over to slightly graze his as you sat.

"I've been told by some little birdies that you were extra chirpy third period, any reason why, Mr. Soot?" You teased, placing the empty salad tub on your desk, planning to throw it out later. His face had been tinted a small pink ever since your knees brushed and he had started to realise just how pathetic he was.

26 years of age and he was blushing over some knees touching together. God, he needs to get his act together.

"I don't know what you're talking about," He muttered, smiling when he heard you laugh. Atleast you found him funny.

"Sure, Will, sure," You smirked, standing up and ruffling his hair as you walked past, presumably to go fill up your water bottle in the hall.

He didn't usually enjoy being called Will by co-workers. It always felt too personal. He had never fully had a bond close enough with one of his coworkers where he liked being called Will, but it felt different coming from you. The way it slipped off your tongue so easily would make anyone believe you had been friends for a while. A while as in two maybe three years, not two maybe three hours.

He had known of you, especially when you first joined around a year and a half ago, with all the students gushing about how patient you were with them, but he had never really bothered to get close enough to have a full conversation with you.

"Sir, are you and Miss dating?" A different student had asked, causing small giggles to arise from the few girls sitting around her.

"Uhm," He pursed his lips, feeling insanely awkward, "No, definitely not."

"Awh, I was starting to think we had something," You pretended to frown, patting his shoulder as you came back into the classroom. You were obviously teasing, but it still didn't fail to make his cheeks heat up a tad bit more.

"Shut up," He smirked, looking back down at the papers as the girls had laughed. The blush that coated his cheeks was most definitely noticeable, as you poked at a dimple he had on the left side, causing him to swat away your hand with a roll of his eyes.

Maybe some company during lunches wouldn't be so bad after all.

[mekakitsune]

i walk this earth all by myself |renee blasey (wraith) x gn!reader

never in her life did renee think she would feel this way.

her heart burns in her throat as she sees you smile. a genuine yet sad one you give to ajay and her on the airship. the battle had been anything but easy. a painfully long and equally tiring match led to the three of you pretty beat up, but alas, victorious. we are lucky to have her, she thought to herself. she didn't like seeing you hurt. ajay made quick work of patching herself up while doc buzzed quietly in the background.

renee wasn't listening to what was being said between the two of you, the pounding under her skull making it hard to focus on anything. ajay made her way towards her in hopes of getting close enough to fully assess her injuries. bold.

"im fine.." renee muttered, clearly not wanting to be touched.

"cmon...youre still bleeding.." she says, quite defeated for the usually eccentric and confident girl. the look she gave ajay was enough. with a sigh, she returned to her place, the small bench in the aircraft, next to you.

it'll never be me.

she lets her eyes fall closed while the craft sputters as they land. all she wanted to do was to clean up, and go to sleep.

the journey back to her room was a quick one, not wanting to be bothered by anyone trying to "help" her.

it had been a few hours since the three of you arrived back at the base, each of you going your respective ways after bidding goodnight. renee headed towards her room, completely ready to take a quick shower and then pass the hell out.

she makes quick work in the bathroom, emerging from the small steamy space feeling a little bit better than she did before. she chooses to put on a simple black tank, and sweatpants that are surely a few sizes too big.

by this time it was late. pushing past 2am and renee was ready to come crashing down. she began unmaking her "made" bed but stopped when she heard a tiny knock at her dorm room door. she stood for a few seconds, mostly praying that the person would just assume she was asleep and leave. once more, a tiny knock. who the hell is that at 2am? she moves to the door silently and peaks through the small hole placed on on the top of the door.

outside she found a sight she did not expect. it was you, also freshly showered and clad in some dorky pj pants and a shirt she could have sworn belonged to elliot.

it took her a minute to decide what to do, but her heart acted before her brain could, and she pulled open the door.

"hi...im really sorry if i woke you up" you said quietly, it made her heart squeeze tightly. you looked so tired, it made her wonder why you made her way down to her room this late.

"i wasn't asleep yet. its okay, but why are you up so late? is everything okay?" she didnt mean to ask so many questions at once, it just felt like it was second nature for her to make sure you were not in harms way.

"i could ask you the same question yknow." you said with a small smile.

renee huffs, putting on the typical "i dont care" act.

before she could come up with an excuse, she noticed your figure. you were shaking. your arm was wrapped in bandages, bruises littered your exposed skin.

"seriously....are you..alright?" she asked softly this time, looking you in your eyes. she could stare into them for the rest of her life.

"im...fine, i think. i dont know, i guess im just still shaken up, a lot people got hurt today, and i cant help but feel like its partly my fault yknow? if i was just quicker with my reaction time then-" you played with your fingers as you carried on, trailing off when you heard her scoff.

you meet her eyes once more to see her looking down at you.

"you know it wasn't your fault. it wasn't anyones, but especially not yours." she sounded...sincere.

part of you wanted to break down right then and there, comfort seemingly making you feel even worse.

she noticed the way your body trembled. she wanted nothing more than to take you away somewhere far away from all of this. somewhere she knew you wouldn't be living in fear of the unknown. shes been in your position many times before. she understands your guilt.

maybe it was due to the exhaustion, or the slight frustration of being pulled into the hallway seconds before she was about to slip into a deep sleep. without much thought, she gently grabbed your hand, pulling you into the dark room behind her. the door clicked shut behind you, suddenly you felt very out of place. her room was dimly lit, but strangely comforting.

"sleep with me tonight." she said simply, and your eyes grew wide. she studied your reaction for a moment before pouting. cute.

"i didnt...mean it like that. weirdo.." had the room not been so dim you would see the rush of heat cover renees pale cheeks.

"you dont... have too, i just, know what its like to be stuck in your own head, yknow." you could tell your reaction threw her off, but you quickly backed yourself up.

"are you really asking me to get into bed with you renee? i mean...your offer is tempting" you teased lightly, already making your way to her plush bed. with a roll of her eyes, she follows behind you, turning the light completely off in the process, hoping that the darkness would hide the embarrassment she felt.

feeling the mattress dip under your weight, you slip under her covers as if they were your own, leaving room at your side for her. she stands unmoving, clearly unsure of what to do.

"i can sleep on the floor...if that makes you more comfortable" she said, pretty foolish considering you were in her room.

"what!? no way...its your room, just...lay down please?" your voice was quiet, scared if you made too much noise you'd simply scare her away.

without much more of a thought, renee slips into the bed next to you. she was too tired to argue.

shes tense, and it's awkward, laying flat on her back on the edge of the bed, scared to get too close.

you cant help the pang of guilt in your chest, hoping silently that you truly weren't intruding.

a small sigh leaves her lips.

"i meant it. when i said it wasn't your fault. i hope you know that..." she said, eyes moving to catch your features. you looked so beautiful to her, like always.

"thank you, renee." you responded, eyes locking onto her grey ones.

maybe it was the exhaustion, or unresolved tension taking over. you move closer slowly, laying your head on her chest, waiting and still to see her reaction.

and it never came.

in fact, you felt her arm reposition to wrap itself securely around your shoulders.

another sigh. this one not out of discomfort or frustration. out of peace. the pounding in her skull finally dying out as the exhaustion truly takes over.

"im here for you y/n, always." she whispered, voice full of something you couldn't quite recognize.

holding her closer you choose not to respond verbally, allowing yourself to relax in her arms, eyes slipping closed with a content sigh.

"i hope you mean it. i dont plan on going anywhere." you say, smile evident in your voice.

renee hums in response, fingers tracing your shoulders lightly. sleep fills the room soon enough, allowing the two of you your own bit a peace, finally.

all shes ever wanted was to feel safe, and she does. you make her feel grounded, tearing her from plaguing thoughts. for that, she would always be indebted to you.

[all-that-is-gold-is-now-gone]

Ghost of You

@otto-troy idk Tyler origin story?? Let me know what you think. Also I wrote this at like 2am so please excuse any misspellings or mistakes lol this also ran away from me lol, sorry it’s long

Laurel was stood at the car with a few others looking over the map of the area listening to the talking that went on between Morgan and the leader of the small group they been traveling with for a few days, almost a week now. Joshua was his name. Lyn and Morgan had come across his group while they traveled and well Morgan thought it would be a good idea for Laurel to socialize for awhile, considering...well considering everything that had happened. Lyn thought it was a shit idea. She was better, but she was still constantly on edge and she hated being around people considering the one person she wanted to be around wasn't there anymore. But they had offered a tent to her and one for Morgan as well, so it was nice to sleep someplace nice. Joshua had a moving caravan that his people traveled with and they would settled in a place for a few days like they were doing now. Currently they were trying to divide up the places to scout out and search for supplies while the rest of the camp rested. Lyn had volunteered not being very good at sitting still.

Her hair was still cut short, a little shorter than her shoulders. Enough for her to braid it back or put it up in a small ponytail. She wore her leather jacket, with black jeans and her boots. Her machete at her side, a pistol on her belt.

"I'll take that area." Lyn said pointing to a town near the map, it was small, should be easy to scout and bring back anything she could find, "I can leave now and get there and back before nightfall." She glanced at Morgan who nodded gently.

"I'll go with you." A voice spoke up from the other side of Joshua and Laurel raised her eyes, looking at the tall blonde male. She internally groaned but held her breathe a bit. It was Tyler. He was around her age, taller than her, although not taller than Troy was. But he was perhaps a bit bigger than the Otto. Tyler had been hanging around Laurel a lot since she and Morgan first joined the group, Lyn didn't know why and she didn't really care. She just wanted him to stop. She avoided him at any cost, often resorting to eating in her own tent, or just getting up early in the morning and getting to any chores to help with so she would be busy and Tyler wouldn't bother her. But the man was persistent, taking any chance to be around her, sitting next to her at the fire, helping her with things. Laurel had told him to get lost several times but, well he hadn't seem to understand the message.

"I'll be fine." Lyn said matter of factly before grabbing a walkie form the hood of the car and tucking it into her belt, "it'll be faster if I go alone."

"We don't know the area." Tyler pointed out, looking at Laurel with blue eyes, "it would be safer if we go together, in case you get hurt."

A scoff left Laurels lips as she stared at Tyler staring at him in annoyance, "I won't get hurt, believe me. I'll be fine." Although before either of them spoke again Joshua did.

"We go out in pairs." The leader said firmly as Laurel clenched her teeth, out of annoyance and also to keep herself from saying something stupid. She mumbled a quiet fine and grabbed the map, folding it up and shoving it into her pack before taking off in the direction of the town not waiting for Tyler. He would only want to strike up a conversation and in those moments, Laurel finally understood Troy's urge to shove people to walkers. Lyn heard Tyler jog to catch up with her and fall into step beside her as he swung his pack over his shoulder. Laurel just kept walking, ignoring any attempts Tyler made at talking, not responding. He was talking, but Lyn wasn't listening, he was just white noise at this point.

"Hey Lyn." Tyler's voice finally broke through as he grabbed at her shoulder. Laurel came to a stop and whirled around, jumping at his touch, quickly pushing his hand away. Tyler held his hands up, "hey." He said softly, "are you okay?"

"What?" Lyn blinked staring at him, trying to remember anything he has said in the last half hour or so.

"I asked if you were okay." Tyler said softly and lowered his hands, "you haven't said anything this entire walk." He looked at her in concern. Laurel sighed and shook her head, glancing around, watching their surroundings, "so?"

Tyler gave a short shrug, "I just...well I just wanted to check if you were okay." He looked over her, and Lyn felt something knot inside her. She hated the way Tyler looked at her. He wasn't exactly subtle about it. It mirrored the way Troy looked at her, but it wasn't the same, and it never felt the same.

"I'm fine." Laurel said dryly and turned to keep walking, "what were you saying?" Tyler took a moment before following her.

"I was asking where you were from." The taller man said with a light shrug, "don't really know much about you. Thought we could get to know one another better since it seems like you and Morgan might be sticking around." Laurel groaned internally but she knew if she didn't at least chime in Tyler would just keep bugging her.

"I'm from California." Lyn finally answered after a moment, "I grew up in Irvine, and then moved to Santa Clara when I was around sixteen."

"Why'd you move?" Tyler asked without missing a beat. Resigning her fate of having a conversation with Tyler during this run.

"My mom got remarried and we moved in with my step-dad." Laurel replied as she reached into her bag, pulling out the map to check their surroundings. They were closer now, and so far they hadn't run into any trouble which was good. Maybe things would be easy and they could get in, find supplies and get out. The rest of the way Tyler had insisted on asking her questions about her life, her childhood whatever the hell he could think of. Lyn gave minimal answers, not going into detail and steering away from...certain aspects of her childhood. Eventually the two finally reached the town and went about looking through the stores. So far they hadn't found anyone, living or dead, but had found some supplies here and there.

Currently the pair were in a general store, or what used to be one. Tyler had found a stash of some cans he was loading into his pack while Laurel was searching the small pharmacy for anything useful, one never knows what one might find, so she still checked even though the store looked pretty picked over.

"Find anything?" Tyler called.

Laurel picked up a container and began to dig through it, "not yet. It's pretty empty back here." She sighed and began searching the shelves. There were a lot of empty packages and expired medicine. She moved to the back counter, opening up some cupboards, grabbing at some bottles of pills. Penicillin, that was always helpful. Her head turned as she heard a sound, although before she could react a walker was on top of her. Laurel let out a yelp as she slammed back against the ground, pushing back against the walkers shoulders as it snarled and lunged at her. Lyn grunted looking for her machete, but she couldn't see it...She looked back up at the walker, looking at its teeth. Struggling to bite into her...maybe she should let it? If the creature got to her neck...well she would be dead in seconds. In a matter of seconds she would be back with him. Her eyes would close and finally when they opened again they would see him. It was just a few seconds when her breathe slowed and she seemed more calm, debating her choices.

Although before she could choose how to react, the walker had a knife in its skull, and died. Laurel’s breath left her lips in a rushed breath. She was hauled to her feet so quickly it almost made her dizzy. Tyler had her by the arms, talking to her, checking her for bites but her ears were ringing as she just stared at the walker.

“Hey, hey,” Tyler said urgently, placing a hand on Laurels cheek, forcing her to look at him, “are you okay?” He asked firmly.

Lyn felt the emotions bubbling up in her chest, and she felt the sting of the tears that began to gather in her eyes. She didn’t speak just nodding as she fought the urge to cry.

“It’s okay,” Tyler said with a relieved breath and quickly pulled Lyn into a hug. Holding her tight as he repeated the phrase, “it’s okay” several more times. Laurel closed her eyes and hug onto him for a moment letting out soft sobs as she cried into his shoulder. The tears and emotions too much to hold in for the moment as she sobbed. Tyler held her close, mumbling soft words to her hair while he listened to her cry. He kissed the top of her head slowly, then down to her cheek briefly. Finally he pulled away from Lyn for a moment when her sobs had subsided and stared at her for a moment. Then without missing a beat he placed a hand on her cheek, sliding her fingers into her hair before leaning in, pressing his lips to hers in a rather deep kiss.

Laurel surged backwards immediately, backpedaling into the wall behind her. Her eyes wide with shock, although the shock quickly turned to anger, “what the fuck!” She hissed and surged forward shoving Tyler back and storming past him out of the shop. She heard Tyler calling for her but she ignored him and just kept walking wanting to her as far away from him as possible.

Tyler and Laurel made the walk back to camp in silence. Lyn didn’t want to look at him, and thankfully Tyler had kept his distance and kept his mouth shut. That was until they were closer to camp. Lyn could see their camp as they walked through the forest. Then she felt Tyler grab her arm and turn her towards him. She pulled her arm away from his, staring at him.

“What?” Lyn demanded, her tone sharp and annoyed.

“What happened back there?” Tyler asked gently, “I mean…”

Laurel raised an eyebrow, “what happened back there? You kissed me!” She hissed, “and you’re lucky I didn’t break your nose.”

Tyler let out a laugh a disbelief, “yes I kissed you. And you ran away like I was on fire or something. So I kissed you. What was wrong with that?”

“I’m married.” Lyn said firmly, her tone darkening as she glared at Tyler, “you know that.”

“I know you were married. Two years ago.” Tyler insisted stepping closer to Laurel, “come on, you can’t tell me your still holding a torch for someone whose been dead for that long” He shook his head with a laugh, “I mean, come on. You can’t have a relationship with a ghost.”

“Fuck you,” Lyn said softly, her voice low and dark as she stared up at Tyler, “you don’t know the first thing about me. Or him.” She turned to leave but Tyler caught her hand again.

“I know you can’t be alone forever.” Tyler said firmly, his grip on her wrist tighter this time so she couldn’t pull away.

“Let me go,” Lyn warned shaking her head, “I mean it Tyler. Let. Me. Go.” She swallwoed but he didn’t.

“We can be something.” Tyler said, staring at her, “you don’t have to be alone. You can be with me. I mean the guy is dead. It’s time to get over it.” He tugged her closer in one swift movement and leaned in as if he meant to kiss her again. Although this time Laurel reacted quicker. She shoved him back, ripping her hand from his grasp and then the next moment, she swung at him. Her fist connecting to his nose with a harsh smack.

Tyler stumbled back holding his nose, “what the hell?!” He exclaimed paining lacing his voice.

“What the hell?!” Laurel echoed his words before surging forward and hitting at Tyler again, not exactly punching him, but hitting him with her hands, “what the hell was that?! What the hell were you doing?! What the fuck?!” She demanded as she kept yelling and hitting him. Tyler let out grunts of pain, trying to grab her arms to get Lyn to stop hitting him but she wouldn’t it. Just hitting and yelling at him. Soon enough, their altercation attracted more of the camp and Morgan and Joshua with a few others ran over.

Laurel yelled while Morgan pulled her off of Tyler. Joshua and a few others had rushed over as well trying to figure out what happened. All of them, staring at Lyn as if she was some sort of animal. Lyn continued to cry and yell, struggling against Morgan as he tried to talk to her, to get her to hear him, but she didn't. She couldn't. Thrashing against Morgan, rage burning through her, she fought to get free. To hit something again, Tyler, anything. Although she slowed her struggled for a moment as she gasped in a breath, her lungs burning. But it wasn't the struggle of air that made her stop. Or Morgans calls to her, nor Joshuas shouts. No.

It was the figure leaned up against one of the trees around the camp that caught her attention. Laurel stared at the figure, several feet away from her, first she had just seen it from the corner of her eyes and then...her gaze settled on him. Tall and slender. Dressed in dark green cargo pants and a soft grey t-shirt. The shirts she would steal when he wasn't paying attention and wear for the day, or sleep in. His dark brown hair, pushed away from his face in soft curls. The curls Laurel run her fingers through when he was stressed, when she was anxious and needed comfort. When they would lay in bed in their trailer and read. He looked back at her with blue eyes, the eyes she could happily drown in. He wore a soft smile, gentle but amused, almost charmingly silly. The kind of smile he would save just for her. The kind of smile he gave her when he would return to their trailer and walk in on Lyn dancing around the trailer to music being played by a small boombox she had found on a run. He would at her like she was the most ridiculous person in the world, and then get dragged into dancing with her for a bit.

Troy

Laurel felt the air leave her lips as she finally stopped thrashing, her eyes latched onto the figure. Her husband. Leaning against a tree, and smiling at her like he had never left. She was afraid to blink, that if she would break eye contact with him he might disappear. Pushing at Morgan's hands, she tried to get free. To run to Troy. Although a few moments after she had stopped actively fighting Morgan in such a violent way, Joshua had approached. Seeing his chance he had slammed the heel of his rifle against Laurel's head. Knocking her out cold in one swift moment, Laurel crumbled to the ground.

~*~

Laurels vision was fuzzy once she woke. She opened her eyes slept and blinked, the light hurting her eyes. A groan escaped her lips as she tried to move, her head ached.

“Take it easy,” a voice said, Morgan’s voice, “you took quite a hit.” Lyn turned her head to see Morgan sitting in the tent with her. His words echoing in her head, right…she cursed mentally and closed her eyes for a moment before sitting up.

“Yeah it hurts.” Laurel sucked in a breath as she gently touched her hand to her head before looking at Morgan, suddenly feeling ashamed for what she did, “sorry…”

“No need to apologize.” Morgan said with a shake of his head, “Tyler explained what happened. He should be the one to apologize.” He looked at Lyn, “are you okay?”

“Peachy…” Laurel sighed and closed her eyes again.

“Joshua wants us to leave.” Morgan said, “but I think I can talk him into letting us stay.”

“Don’t bother,” Lyn’s eyes snapped open again, “I don’t want to stay. I’m getting the hell out of here Morgan.” She looked at him, “no way in hell I’m staying here.” Lyn guessed Morgan seemed to have some understanding because he didn’t argue and just nodded.

“Then we should get our stuff and head out before it’s dark.” Morgan said and stood, “I’ll grab your bag. Just take it easy.” He said and left the tent. A long breath left Laurels lips as she dipped her head down, leaning her arms against her knees.

“Hey,” His voice echoed and she groaned.

“What do you want?” Lyn asked lifting her gaze to find Tyler standing outside of the tent she was in. The first thing she noted was the bandaged on his black and blue nose. She couldn’t help but smirk, it looked broken.

“I just uh,” Tyler cleared his throat, “I just figured I should apologize.”

“Oh your just figured that?” Lyn asked tilting her head to the side, “how smart.” She sighed and stood up. She grabbed her jacket and tugged it on, feeling Tyler’s eyes on her the entire time.

“You’re really okay with what, being alone for the rest of your life?” Tyler asked staring at her, “tied to a ghost?”

Lyn swallowed as she took a few steps towards the entrance of the tent and looked at Tyler, her gaze surprising softly, the same with her voice, “I…I’d rather have the ghost of him, than someone, anyone else.” She looked at Tyler who stared back at her, “if the ghost of him is all I have. It’s all I want.” Her hand went to the wedding ring that hung around her neck, and she held it for a moment. Swallowing the pain that was rising in her throat.

“You’re lucky he’s just a ghost.” Lyn said stopping beside Tyler as she walked out of the tent, the softness gone from her voice, “because if he was here,” she said staring at him, “he’d break every bone in your body after that shit you pulled.” Lyn paused briefly, “and I’d let him.” She looked away and walked over to where Morgan was waiting. Lyn took her bag and swung it over her shoulder and followed Morgan away from the camp. Tyler watching her as she left until he couldn’t see her anymore.

[hcthcuse]

lyrics from songs by rainbow kitten surprise that might be good for usage as prompts, themes, or starter sentences! i compiled these myself so if i'm missing your favorite song i'm sorry! part 1 | [part 2]

i don't wanna die alone

hang up when you've had enough

all's well that ends well

do you wanna know my name?

i don't want to die in my sleep

lately, i've been fucking up hard

i hate it when you lie in the thick of it all

i can't take you there

ain't nobody gonna come save you

pack your shit and standby, please

i know you can't walk with them heels in the dark, kick 'em off

you could leave it all behind, even the devil needs time alone sometimes

you could let it all go, it's called "freefall"

can't be bothered, better handle your shit

can i sit down? i've been hustling all day

i can't even count how many souls i've made off the same deal you're on

remember, the devil ain't a friend to no one

it's like 2AM and the bars all close at 10 in hell

you say you're too busy saving everybody else to save yourself

that's not a card that i would've picked but it's your life to live

they say a wise man lends his ears but not his thoughts often. the same is true of undercover cops.

i know i should have been more vocal

sure, i could've been more social

i've been coping okay for the most part

i'll get it right and play nice soon as you do

i've never seen a show stopper like you

could make a boy act stupid

you could sell me on anything

teach me to let it go

i hate fighting when i'm driving

love ain't enough a drug to make us make amends

call me back if you wanna talk

if you needed me then, then, then, why wouldn't you bring it up?

i hate to say that i miss you first

i know us is more than we deserve

it'd be cool if i could stay for a minute

i've been praying for a signal or a sign that you haven't sent

you might be an angel falling from the heavens

i keep the car running, i keep my bags packed

i don't wanna leave

i've been praying for your touch, your glance your hand.

he's a better kisser than you'd think

he's a better listener than most

i hate you more than i miss you

i'd hate to miss you

you don't call, you don't write

i still don't know when i can come home

i promised i would try so i might be a coward

we were a team till you're toxic

i mean you talk shit, often, but once upon a time we were in love

there's two sides to a fair fight and you're the third man out

you asked me if i could grow up but i don't know why for

i'm a palm frond dying on the front porch

thought about calling but i deleted your number and we both know why

truth is when i met you, well you know you made me cry

if i let you stay in my head, then it's overnight

i'm working out the pain

when i'm next to you i can wave to you because we're miles apart

know you wrote me 'bout you changed things, but baby you know me. i don't read a damn thing.

[luvgirlxblue]

I don't get paid enough for this, pt.1

Character: Shoto Todoroki

Category: [series]

Words: 0.9k

Warnings: some for the entire series in general, but none for this part :)

Authors notes: it's 2am you know the drill

Y/N: no race for this one either but i mentioned hair in your face so keep that in mind, Y/N is female and both Y/N and Shoto are in their early 20's. quirk: temperature. as the name suggests you can simply change the temperature in certain areas or of certain objects.

Beep, beep, beep, be-

"Alright, that's enough of that." Y/N grumbled while rubbing her eyes. Slamming her hand down on the alarm clock she thought about quitting her job and joining the circus just so she wouldn't have to wake up at such an early time for an 9 hour shift at the hole-in-a-wall cafe. Rolling out of bed she pushed the hair out of her face and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. After going through the necessary motions of her morning routine, she eyed the uniform hanging on the handles of her wardrobe, and sighed. "I'll have to get those coffee stains out later."

Keys? Check. Purse, Check. Motivation? Nope, but considering she was already clocking in at this point, there wasn't much to do about it, she had to support her cat child after all.

And so the day began: late trains, rude customers, loud kids and occasionally spilling hot drinks on herself were all parts of the many trials of her job. After graduating highschool, since she didn't have any ambition of pro-hero or public service work, she was relatively stuck for choices. So here she was doing the best she could to support herself while she figured things out.

It was around 7PM now, and the population of the small shop had thinned out considerably. While cleaning out cups, Y/N heard the bell above the door tinkle quietly, and sighing she reluctantly pulled out her notepad. Not bothering to look up she asked the stranger what they would like to drink in a monotone voice. The response she got back was pretty standard but after writing the order down, and going to ask for a name, she stopped dead in her tracks. She was met with red and white hair, and two hetero-chromatic eyes (with a huge scar to match) staring at back at her.

Taking a look at the outfit he had on, her first impression was that whoever this man was, he was probably either a low-ranking hero, or some obsessive fan-boy. Probably some sidekick that had shown up on TV beside on of the pro's, or maybe some kind of eccentric PR manager? That would explain away the strange hair colour...

Now, Y/N had lost much of her previous interest in heroes after realising that her quirk just wasn't cut out for the job, but she did remember the faces of most of the finalists in U.A's sports festival -the one she had watched at 14. Blurry memories of the winner and runners up began to swim across her mind. The main three being the hot-headed #8 Dynamight, of course the up-and-coming #5 Deku, and... oh. Right. Shit- wait there was no way he was just casually standing in front of her right now. Did the number #9 pro-hero just walk in? To a place like this? Now? Ah- the coffee, this ha to be the best one you've made yet, don't mess up Y/N don't-

"Excuse me ma'am, but are you alright? You dropped your notebook."

You turn your face back to a slightly concerned looking Shoto holding out your notebook.

"Oh, me? I'm fine - i'll just start on your drink sir..."

There was no way she would let a rising pro catch her stuttering. Absolutely not. Never.

Y/N takes the opportunity to slink away behind the counter and turn her back to him, while focusing a little too hard on the whirring of the espresso machines.

Shoto took the hint and sat himself down at one of the booths in the corner, while he pulled out his phone to occupy himself with.

After a little while he took a break from work emails and paperwork too peak at his barista. Sure, she had recognised him, that much was clear - it was nothing new. But what was new was that she hadn't screamed, or thrown herself at him, or fainted, or asked for an autograph, or gushed about his quirk or display even a hint of any other fan-girlish reaction he'd been subject to in the past. She had just...done nothing?

It was a well known fact that Shoto wasn't the fastest when it came to social ques or interacting with fans (something his PR team had tried to capitalise on), and he could not figure out why the woman had been so casual about meeting him. (Was she not aware of his rankings? Maybe she preferred Dynamight over him?)

And suddenly it was one of those rare moments in his life, where, despite growing up in the shadow of a famous pro-hero himself, and attending a prestigious and well known school, he felt...

Small. Unimportant.

Another quick glance confirms none of the other patrons seemed to recognise (or care) who he was either.

He decided it was a welcome contrast to the attention he usually boasted, and that he was grateful to the woman for not mentioning it.

Y/N on the other hand was quite dejected. She had seen the way these heroes lived - in luxury and comfort - and it only added insult to injury to see his dazzling face juxtaposed against the cracked wall of the diner. She was also gloomy about his eventual departure, and it reminded her of how insignificant her interactions with people like him would always be.

Just another face in another crowd.

She still had a couple more hours of her shift left, and both of these harsh facts were making her more than irritated at this point.

That's why, when the first explosion burst through the door, and her ears started to ring, her first thought was annoyance at all the damage coming out of her paycheck instead of worry for the blood seeping out of the wound on her head.

[icarus-suraki]

@bending-sickle no, we are not. (re: this post)

A huge part of my therapy over the years has been religious anxiety and religious trauma caused by not being part of an extreme or fundamentalist church or anything but just by existing in this culture infused with extreme eschatological beliefs.

I've had people come up to me at the reference desk and spontaneously explain that the discovery of exoplanets is a sign of the apocalypse.

I've had classmates say that they can't wait to die so they can be with Jesus, or that they're envious of someone who died because that person is with Jesus now, or that they're excited about the Rapture and the Apocalypse, or that 9/11 was clearly a sign that the Rapture was coming. Another popular one was "Are you Rapture Ready?"

I got woken up at something like 2am by my college roommate who burst in to collect her Bible and her concordance so she could prove to someone that the Fundamentalist eschatology was undeniably true and here was where it said so in the Bible.

News articles about the second Iraq war would send me into a spiral of anxiety because someone said it was a sign of the End times, streetcorner preachers would freak me out, overhearing people would freak me out, even going to my family's progressive and left-leaning Episcopalian church (just miles removed from the Left Behind crowd) was hard.

I literally went to my family's priest to ask for a "professional" opinion. I had a panic attack in her office because I was so afraid of all of this stuff and whether I was going to be suffering horrors or if I was going to hell. Politicians were saying things. My friends were saying things. My classmates were saying things. I was surrounded by these images of horror and war and being told to get saved get saved GET SAVED, HURRY UP AND GET SAVED, but someone you (I, anyone) was never good enough somehow? Unless you were? I have no idea. It made no sense and yet I was fixated on it.

I first heard about "the world will end in the year 2000" when I was something like 8 or 9 years old and I would literally pray every night that that wouldn't happen. I prayed constantly, which was really more of an OCD symptom than anything.

Every so often, some whackadoo would declare that the world would end on XYZ date and I would panic (and try to keep it a secret as much as I could, not that I was all that skilled at that yet) until that day came and went. Or I'd have a breakdown and cry about it to my mom. I had no idea how she could just brush these things off.

And, yes, I unintentionally believed every ostensible "prophecy" about the end of the world. There's some Catholic "prophecy" about how many popes there will be before the Apocalypse and I'm still hung up on that. The phrase "end of the world" was an OCD no-go. The word "revelation" would set me off. I had to take religion classes in college and that was agony. Some of my OCD therapy was related to religious anxiety. I'm not completely over it either. It's still in me. I still feel this weird spike of panic when I hear from someone who says they're no longer a Christian--it's a purely obsessive thought or an intrusive thought. I'm still hung up on all of this.

There have been so many times that I've wondered if it's worth trying to do anything since the world is going to end soon. Why bother? Why go to school? But ending your own life means you'll go to hell, so don't do that. Just keep suffering. Keep suffering. And maybe, if you're good enough and have Gotten Saved the right way, you'll go to Heaven and be happy someday.

At my absolute worst, I was working in a bookstore and I was afraid of having to walk through the Christianity/religion section because I might see the title of a book that would trigger a full-on panic attack and multi-day anxiety attack while I had to keep working in this shitty retail job.

And this shit is still inside me. I can't seem to purge it out of me.

No. We are Not Okay.

[sobeautifullyobsessed]

Day Two: matters of perspective

So, I spent my first night without shelter in the breakroom at work. Not the best of experiences, but at least I had access to a bathroom. The third shift people were perplexed, as they are used to seeing me in the mornings, just when they are leaving. I was quietly honest when they asked what I was doing there. Most of the time I had the room to myself, because they take their breaks and mealtimes all together. One was even nice enough to turn off the tv when she saw that I was trying to sleep. I managed about three hours total (and dozed a bit in my parked car this morning).

Somehow, I fell asleep during the middle of their hour lunch (2am), feet flat on the floor (which isn't the best, because they are now pretty swollen), and then was very surprised to wake up shortly before 5am. Have to wonder if I snored at all in the interim. I woke up because it had gotten loud all around me, and I figured it was their second 15-minute break. Kept my eyes closed, being in that half drowsy state, but from listening to the conversations around me, I realized that someone had a heart attack or stroke just minutes before. A gentleman in his 50's had simply collapsed on his way to the breakroom, and while someone was trying to administer cpr, they weren't doing it correctly and the unfortunate man remained oxygen deprived. It took 15+ minutes for the ambulance to arrive, and they shocked him back to 'life' a couple of times, but he didn't survive, dying at the hospital. Everyone was in shock, but this is Hellmart, so it didn't take too long until folks were back to work as usual. I imagine those close at hand when it happened must be dealing with some heavy emotions today.

Obviously, such a happening puts things into sharp perspective. Imagine kissing your spouse goodbye when you leave home for your shift, never to return. It reminds me how badly I want to get out of that place; I've seen about a dozen coworkers pass over the years, and somehow it feels even worse for the ones whose last hours on earth were spent there. Most of them were what we all would consider much too young to die so soon. And honestly, though it's not a coincidence that I was there (for the universe wouldn't give a fig about that), I can't help but feel uneasy that I was in the building at all at that time and on a day I wasn't even scheduled to work.

I think I'd like to ask for your prayers more than ever this evening. I'm already so exhausted and while I'll try again to sleep tonight, I have to work come 7am, and that's sure to be a challenge.

PS someone very kindly sent me a Ko-fi donation, which is a tremendous help as I've been restricting my diet, trying to stretch out my few remaining dollars. I just had a grilled cheese at Dunkin' Donuts, and though the kid behind the counter didn't bother to grill it (microwaved it instead) it tasted fantastic, and I wolfed it down more quickly than I meant to. Another true matter of perspective--food tastes so much better when you've got an empty belly! I'll not be fogetting this lesson anytime soon.

[lafiametta]

If one of them had a nightmare, what would they do upon waking up?

Firstly, let's suppose they're sleeping together on the same bed! Would they: - Lay on bed and take deep breaths until they've calmed down and try to go back to sleep? (Maybe hug the other in the process?) - Get up and get some water? - Wake the other if it was too bad? And what if they were still living separated, maybe a few months in their relationship, but with things going better? Would they text the other, call? Wake up fully and, in their pajamas, go out for a date at 02:00AM and eat McDonald's?

I love how at this point it's so clear who we're talking about that we don't even bother to include names! :)

If they're sharing the same bed (and the nightmare wasn't too bad), I think they probably would try to take some deep breaths and go back to sleep. The physical presence of the other one would help a lot, I think, especially for Olek, who likes being able to see Ling Yi (he finds it very calming). I think they would be less inclined to want to accidentally wake up the other one by touching or hugging them (Olek would definitely feel guilty if he woke Ling Yi up just because he needed physical comfort), but I could see Ling Yi snuggling in a little closer, just for Olek's warmth. If the nightmare was bad, then I suspect it would probably wake the other one up on its own (from the movement or the sleep-muttering) and then of course there would be a lot of cuddling and spooning (and maybe some soft kissing) as they tried to calm the other one down and make them feel safe.

If they were sleeping apart, it's hard for me to imagine Olek reaching out to Ling Yi late at night because of a nightmare. (He wouldn't want to bother her with something that he thinks he should be able to handle himself.) Ling Yi might text, just a little "u up?" if she really needed someone to talk to, but I don't think she'd ask him to come over. In a way, it helps her to know that if she did ask him to (even at 2am, even if it took an hour on the subway), he would come without hesitation.

But I love the idea of the 2am McDonalds date! I think they should just do it on their own, without the need for any unpleasant nightmares... maybe it's a Saturday night and they've been, you know, occupied for a couple hours, but they can't sleep and now suddenly they're hungry and Ling Yi mentions how much she's craving fries and a McFlurry and they start putting all their clothes back on (Olek's shirt ends up inside out) and within fifteen minutes they're sitting in a booth with Ling Yi giggling as she feeds Olek a fry dipped in Oreo milkshake.

[totallyanopossum]

bully romance, why choose, hurt/comfort

Please forgive our sins

WC: 2.4k

warning: suicide attempt,

I cried writing this so take that as a warning or a reason to jump in, up to you.

part 5

She's always gotten back up, always kept pushing forward, always tried and put on an act, but for what, it was all wasted effort prolonging the inevitable. The inevitable is here now, she's always known things would end this way, how could it go any other way with her long list of diagnosis that all have some pretty high suicide stats, add those together and yeah now is the time.

Chase and Kaz care for her, she sees that but they care more about making her seem them as good but Xander now that he knows my state he wont let me stay this way and he'll try force me to get better one way or another, and if he sticks me in a mental hospital in my current state I will never get out.

So tonight is the night.

She waits until 2am to limit the chances of Xander still being awake watching the cameras. It's a struggle to move with the casts so she has to be careful of her movements so she doesn't fall. She has planned this all out. Wait until night, go out her window after putting a magnet on the sensor, sit in the snow down a bottle of vodka and slit her wrists and go out watching the snow turn red.

Getting through the window would be the most challenging step but using the doors is too much of a risk, a risk she can't afford. 

Sensor deactivated- check

Bag of stuff thrown through window- check

Getting herself through window- clumsily done but check

Time to drink- in the works

She knows the snow should feel so freezing, biting cold against her skin but she's so numb and shut down she barely feels it at all. She can see her breath as it pumps into a little cloud with each exhale. She has always liked the snow, found it comforting, to her it symbolizes how beautiful the harsh coldness can be, how even death can have beauty. As pure as snow they say, she's not pure but maybe as her blood leaches into the snow it will remove her impurities so she can finally know peace.

She pops open her full bottle of vodka and starts taking big swigs, she barely feels the burn but it doesn't bother her, vodka is a lot easier to down when you know you wont be waking up again. She's halfway through, silent tears streaming down her cheeks, not from fear or anything of the sort. They are all her repressed pent up feelings finally flowing out of her, she's relieving herself of every hurt she's taken in, every beating, every verbal assault, every bad memory that her mind wouldn't let her forget. She feels lighter maybe it's from the drink or maybe those tears truly were removing the weight of her trauma from her, either way it felt good, really good.

Only a few more swigs left, it's time, she gets out her blades. She looks over the shiny metal and finds it pretty, it's been ages since she's used a blade, bringing her back to her high school days. Oh how life plays out, the guys who had fucked her up so much are trying to care for her, still doesnt make sense and what chase said about them all liking her, nah thats bullshit, this is all bullshit, it cant be true.

She was never meant to live this long, and surely not any longer.

She makes a deep cut on her wrist and watches as her skin parts, as the blow flows out trickling down onto the snow below. It looks more beautiful than she ever imagined, blood in the snow, it's one of those sights not often seen, most hope never to see it but to those few who feel the way she does it's the most beautiful thing they have ever laid eyes on, and the perfect thing to see in your final moments.

She finishes the bottle then moves to lay down fully in the snow, she got lucky it's a clear night so she gets in some star gazing before she goes.

He managed to fall asleep but was plagued by nightmares of her, feeling her face and reaction to every horrible thing he did to her and the final one was when she broke and screamed at him explaining why she'll never forgive him. Now his subconscious is tormenting him in sleep, great. He needs to act, needs to try or he'll never get a moment's peace again. He might do more harm than good but they need to speak even if it's just her screaming at him, nothing will happen unless they have a confrontation.

He's done wimping out and being pathetic, he always deals with things head on, confrontation is his style, yes he usually knows what he's gonna say and how to handle it, and yes he has no clue how to do that this time but having to make it up on the spot will have to work he's out of options. So he heads to her room, he feels bad waking her for this but if he stops and waits he is afraid he'll lose courage.

He knocks then walks in assuming he'll have to get closer to wake her. He knows something is off right when he walks in by how cold it is, he flicks on the lights and sees her beds empty and the window is open.

X- “ Fuck… what are you doing Bics”

He goes to the window, the light from her room only illuminates a small radius and he doesn't see her there. So he climbs through and turns on his phone's flash light to look around. Luckily her cast makes an easy to follow trail in the snow. His flash light reflects off something and he catches the glint of metal. If his heart wasn't already pounding it going off the rail now expecting the worst, he knows her history with blades and the scars that mark her arms. He rushes towards her and has his worst fears confirmed. He falls to his knees at her side seeing that cut she just made on her wrist and the matching one on her other that's flowing freely into the snow. The smell of iron and vodka fill his nose and he understands what's going on here, she's trying to kill herself.

X- “ Beatrix”

B- “ Im fine Xander go away”

He won't let her die, he can't, she needs to live, she is his life, she is his love. He's confused why his vision is blurring but he realizes he's crying. He picks her up and rushes to the back door, she feels frozen, her skin so cold. He needs to act quickly, he thinks about taking her to the hospital but they would put her on a psych hold and as she is he'd never get her back so he will have to handle this.

First the bleeding needs to be stopped, okay he can do that.

He lays her on the couch and gets the first aid kit. The cuts are deep but he's had cuts deeper that didn't need stitches so she should be okay. His first aid kit is a bit special since the guys get in fights so he uses some skin glue to close up her, cuts the bandages and checks to make sure she's not bleeding through.

Okay good that holding, one problem solved, now the alcohol she needs to throw up.

He takes her to the bathroom and leans her over the toilet.

X- “ im so sorry about this Bics”

He forces her mouth open and shoves two fingers down her throat until she throws up, he repeats this still she is empty and dry heaving.

Okay good she's empty but she still did absorb some. Luckily Kaz used to party hard so he has charcoal pills, he makes her swallow a few.

Okay good, yes the alcholas taken care, now her temp shes still very cold, he knows he needs to warm her slowly so he doesn't put her in shock so first step is some dry warm clothes. He takes her to her room and changes her, he's working a bit rushed so he's not as gentle as he tries to usually be. He debates leaving her in her bed but refuses to take his eyes off her so he sets her up on the couch covered in blankets, while he boils some water in the kitchen where he can keep an eye on her. She needs warm fluid and heating packs. With the first pot he fills a hot water bottle and tucks that in with her blankets, the second pot he adds a broth packet to, he doesn't remember why broth is better then water but just knows to give broth so that's the plan.

He sits her up in her blanket burrito and spoon feeds her, again he has to force feed her but this time she wont swallow on command, he hates what he's about to do but doesn't see another option. He sets the bowl down, he grabs her throat making her involuntary swallow. This earns him a horrified look from her, it hurts to see but it's the first reaction he's gotten from her, so he takes it as a good sign that she's reactive. He repeats the process just glad she's not fighting back and making this harder, she is no longer wearing that horrified expression it's been replaced by a distant look and silent tears. It's hurting him to see this, knowing he's the cause but he can't stop, her death would be his to.

They have finally finished the cup of broth, he likes her to have more but they both need a break. He feels her arms, neck, and feet, checking her temp and it has improved, good she's starting to produce heat again.

She just sits staring ahead silent tears flowing. Elbows on his knees he hunches over face in his hands, he's starting to break apart, he almost lost her without ever trying to make amends.

He starts full on crying, he can't help it, he doesn't know how to deal with emotions in a healthy way but his ways aren't acceptable anymore. He feels pathetic and weak crying like this, so exposed but what other choice does he have.

The sound of him sobbing brings her back to reality, she looks at him and doesn't recognize him. She's never seen him cry, not even one tear, never seen him hunched over defeated. He's always stood tall and confident like a statue of some god, who expressed his emotions in a violent aggressive manner. That's when she makes the connection, they are similar, she held all her pain inside and turned it against herself, but he turned it outward and took it out on others, on her. He is her opposite yet they are also the same.

Even in her current state, numb, foggy, confused she can't stand when she causes pain to others she must soothe it, she must now comfort the one who haunts her dreams.

She frees an arm from her blanket cocoon and places It on his back trying to offer comfort.

B- “ Xander it's okay, it's not your fault”

He doesn't mean to snap at her, it's just a knee-jerk reaction.

X- “ Stop that, don't comfort me, it is my fault, how are you fucking doing that”

B- “ doing what?”

X- “ you're always kinda, always nice even to us, to me, how?”

The words come to mind the perfect retort, her sharp tongue ready to cut deep, but like always she keeps it inside. It's one of her curses, always being kind and having such a sharp lounge and a deep need to lash out and strike. She's holding back but she's wanted to let loose on him for years.

X- “ tell me, don't just stay silent like always let me have it”

B- (through clenched teeth) “ No”

She's reaching her limit, she wants to strike and can't escape, so she turns it on herself. She digs her thumb nail into her index finder hard, letting the pain distract her and calm her.

X- “ Stop that, take it out on me like ive done to you for year's, take it out on me I deserve it”

She snaps. She throws off her blankets and stands, a bit dizzy from the sudden movement but fuck it, he wants it he'll fucking get it. She stands in front of him getting in his face

B- “ you wanna know why I'm kind, why is always nice, huh? Well Ill tell you, it's cause of you, you guys, and my fucking life. My life has caused me so much fucking pain, I deeply know what it's like to hurt and how much words and action hurt. I'd rather have bruises and broken bones than the horrid memories of the words that torment me. I'm so fucking nice because I know what it's like to hurt, I know what it's like to suffer, I know what it's like to beg a god I don't belive In to end my life, I know what it's like to get up every day wishing I didn't, and I never want to cause anyone else to have that deep aching soul crushing pain. So even when I'm breaking I will soothe others just to make sure I did something so they won't feel the way I feel. You are my tormentor, my bully, and I tried to soothe you when you have never given me a moment of comfort in my life. And the worst part is you are all I have left, I don't have family, I don't have friends, I have no one else but my bullies left. The only ones who won't leave me alone, won't abandon me are my bullies that's some sick fucking cruel fate and I don't know what sins I've committed to deserve it…Your all I have left Xander, how fucking ridiculous is that… and you took my last hope away from me, death. I've always known I'm gonna die young. My diagnosis sealed that fate, and you took that away from me, you took away my one hope, my chance at freedom, my chance to be released from pain, and you took that away, how could you, why why why would you do that. I don't understand you, any of you, why are you guys doing this, playing this game with me, just let me die already.”

The way she's in his face yelling reminds him of that time, the only other time she'd snapped at him before. Oh how much does she keep inside, how much does she never say, how much does she hurt herself keeping it all in. God we had no right to take her in, force her to be here, we are the cause of her downfall, I am the cause. we're so fucking delusional thinking we could fix this and get what we wanted, we never considered her wants, her feelings, fuck. She just wanted to be free of pain and I took that away, I caused her pain and took away her relief, I'm a monster. How can I tell her the truth now, how can I confess to loving her, she doesn't deserve that turmoil and I don't deserve her love.

She grabs onto his shoulder and shakes him.

B- “ tell me why, no more bullshit, tell me Now”

X- “ Bics”

B- “ ITS BEATRIX”

X- “ Beatrix…”

He goes to his knees in front of her, it feels appropriate at this moment. You get on your knees when you confess your sins and ask for God's forgiveness and when beg. He's about to do it all, confess, beg, but he wont plead for forgiveness he doesn't deso being on his knees feels right.

X- “ Beatrix don't make me say it, don't make me hurt you more”

B- “ Say It… you owe me the truth”

X- “ I love you, I've loved you since the first time I saw you. One glance at you sealed my fate, I never wanted love and certainly didn't belive in love at first sight and was pissed that you'd taken over my thoughts giving me so many confusing feelings and I directed those feelings at you in the worst say. I didn't want love and became angry at you for them and the only way I knew how to deal was turning it into outward aggression. I hated myself for loving you so I tried to repress those feelings and deny it, which only ended up messing eveything up and hurting both of us, mainly you. I don't deserve your compassion, I don't deserve your kindness, I deserve for you to make me hurt, get your payback, get your revenge, I deserve it Beatrix. Ill always love you Beatrix, in a way that's not very healthy, you became my obsession but Im too weak, too pathetic to have said anything sooner, and now I've almost lost you and subsequently taken eveything from you. You deserve better then me, so much better, I know you can never forgive me and I won't ask for that, it wouldn't be fair to you. That's the truth, I love you and I'm an idiot lacking emotional intelligence who's only ever hurt you when deep down all I wanted was to share love with you, I'm sorry. I'll do whatever you say, I'm done being controlling, ill take you home or to a facility whatever you want.”

What did he say?

Did he say he loves me, has always loved me?

How is that possible?

No this can't be real?

What kinda psycho bullies the person they love so badly?

Fuck, how broken and messed up am I that I'm considering this?

Do I really crave love so desperately I'd accept it from him?

He's on his knees confessing his feelings and sins, never in a million years would I have guessed this?

He's not even asking for forgiveness, he remembers what I said all that time ago, those words I yelling in anger.

Am I too forgiving, too gullible, too desperate, too broken?

I know he'd never abandon me and i find so much comfort in that. But isn't this just the scared kitten bonding with the gorilla thing?

Could I forgive him?

Could I love him?

Can I afford to pass this up?

Will anyone else ever love me as broken as I am?

[xzombiepop]

I had a surgery canceled for the 4th time today.

Well, technically yesterday since it's 2am here now, but I've had a problem that's been bothering me for 13+ years. It makes it so I get sick incredibly easily. I was in the gown, getting checked in when my blood pressure read way too high. The surgeon said he wasn't comfortable operating on me with that high of blood pressure. Said the bleeding wouldn't easily be stopped once I woke up because of it. I though my blood pressure was high because of anxiety, which I am constantly coping with. But no. Turns out I got sick again and that's made my already high blood pressure spike up. So, here I am. Angry at the world, head throbbing, throat killing me, joints feeling like they have the weight of the world on them, and a 101.5 temperature...

I just needed to vent into the void. Have a gif of a cute kitten.

[hyuckmov]

it was really early in the morning when we went to han river and ate ramen there (CAN FINALLY CROSS IT OUT MY LIST IM HAPPY CRYING AGAIN) so there weren't that many people yet except for those alr walking their pets (SO CUTE BOTH THE PETS AND OWNERS R TOO NICE :(( ) and then bicycling. our initial plan was to have a lil picnic at night but decided to just do it in the morning so it wouldn't be too cold (SIKE) and about the couples -- OMG YES THEY ARE EVERY. WHERE. ANY TIME OF DAYYYY. it's really different to see it yourself. esp at parks!! we couldn't stop giggling because we don't know if we should proceed taking pics w the flowers and all or just look for another area because they're all there doing couple stuff (cute pics and all) it's so fun n hilarious.

that's alright though, at least you could save up more and maybe do other things first so you'd be ready-ready once you're all decided to go :> going with friends really IS FUN :(( coming from a really introverted person (ME)

i so agree with you 🥹 bigger, better, more fun, more more more worth the wait. it's kinda funny to think it now but that time it was just too depressing for me that almost everyone around me are there EXCEPT ME. like, genuinely happy for them but u just can't help but be sad too yk? SO I HEARD ..... and based on the clips i saw the boys were having soooo so so sooo much fun not to mention the crowd's truly amazing.. AND I THANK THEM THE BOYS HAD SO MUCH FUN. about the byl, if you're free that time then i think you should get it. HAVE FUUUUUN think of it as a little preview for u until you finally get to experience it live ;-;

PLEASE ENJOY THAT BREAK WHILE YOU CAN I'M TELLING YOU. i went straight to working right after i graduated and yes it's a good thing i alr secured a job as they said but i felt so down and burnt out for months since i never got to take a rest even for just a week or so... it was like my time was running out fast or something.. SO PLEASE. rest, have fun, do whatever makes you calm and happy.. just. enjoy <333

(PS i notice my responses get longer and longer each time i hope it's not a bother to you or to anyone that comes across this. and pls.. don't thank me im having so much fun chatting with uuu)

HIII firstly. not bothered by ur long responses at all i love reading these it’s like receiving a letter 🫶🏻 pls keep on sending these when u have the time hehe

omg eating ramen at han river…cycling and people-watching that literally sounds like the dream i’m stealing that idea for my own future trip <3 RIIIGHT the couples also i hear all the girls r super pretty w the middest boyfriends ever 🤭 im also an introvert (and actually irl really guarded lol) and i always wonder about what it would really be like to travel w friends or even live with them…wonder what it will do to my social battery and also just seeing me at my worst (11pm-2am) but ngl i won’t know until i try :) my friends and i might all be going overseas to and the same country for uni so it’ll really be like starting a new life and i’m excited to do it w them no matter what happens

sometimes it’s a comparative thing…. it feels like everyone else is there and it’s so sad that you’re not. i’m still debating between actually paying for the byl and also just watching it being streamed off someone else… one thing is that finding links for streams r so stressful esp when they get cut off…. but another is am i rlly gna spend $50 on this….but i hear it’s going to be really special with some new songs <3

the burn out is so real….. i was so annoying for the first few weeks of working because i just couldn’t believe like is this what real life is…? is there really nothing more to life? i was so struck LMFAO i was beginning to realize the power of having a bubble subscription because getting a notification from haechan as i’m rotting at my work cubicle is like a LIFESAVER. this is my last week of work and i’m so excited bc my friend will also be finishing work so we’re sooo gna celebrate by doing jobless things and maximizing our unemployment (weekday lunch deals and cheap museum tickets) 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

I HOPE YOUUU feel rested after ur trip and that life’s been going okay…. HOW ARE YOU!!! what have you been doing :)

[dilucspanties]

                                   staring contest.

                   ਏਓ

about ; after a show, you and the lead guitarist from dickz meet up in the bathroom for some stress relief.

warnings ; nsfw, fem!reader, modern/college au, use of the petname baby, mentions of smoking, public sex, diluc cums inside, he also has a tongue piercing..

[ from mono ; this came in my head at 2am so please mind the desperation of heavily tattooed guitarist!diluc as i have been having writer's block for weeks. also, might make this a series with all the dickz's ( diluc, itto, childe, kaeya, zhongli ) members ;) ]

you had heard of the band dickz very briefly from hu tao the day before. she was given some extra tickets by her classmates, and had been told that a college band would be playing at a local venue.

as her best friend, of course she invited you to go. you had gotten the run down of the band, already knowing zhongli previously as he was a TA from your class last semester and known he was in a band with some of his friends. what you had not known was just how hot their lead guitarist was.

in fact, you were not expecting it. you were completely mind fucked as soon as he came up on stage, it was as if you were mesmerized. his long, fire-red hair thrown up in a loose ponytail high above his head; his shirt, a black t-shirt which deliciously showed off his arms which were full of tattoos, and his incredibly sexy hands which held a bright red guitar.

he was gorgeous. you weren't even sure if you heard their introduction because of the trance you were in from seeing him.

it was almost as if time stopped when he made eye-contact with you, a small smirk on his face as he began to play along with his band. he never stopped looking at you.

their entire set, his eyes were glued to yours, not even having to look down at the chords he was playing or even bothering to look at the rest of the crowd.

the eye contact had an affect on you, as unfortunate as that was, causing you to squeeze your thighs together and praying for you to stop being so horny. your eyes shied away multiple times, but eventually found their way back and every. single. time, his red eyes were staring you down.

you briefly began to wonder why of all people he was looking at you. could he tell you thought he was hot? did he think you were hot? did you have something on your face?

whatever it was, you were determined to find out.

꙳⸌♡⸍꙳

once their set was over, you found yourself realizing you didn't really get to listen to any of their songs. you could only plainly laugh as hu tao nudged you, asking you, "they were great, right?"

honestly, you wouldn't be able to tell her if they sucked or not. you found yourself beginning to pout as you saw them leave the stage, looking around a bit for him. 'it couldn't just end like this...' you thought to yourself. it was then that you saw a tuft of firey-red hair heading towards the venue bathrooms which were blocked off.

"gotta use the bathroom." you mumbled quickly, not waiting for hu tao's answer as you hurried towards the bathroom.

you weren't sure what you were planning or why you were heading over there, but you were for hell sure that your little staring contest would not just end in staring.

you saw him outside of the bathroom, his face even more gorgeous up close than you thought it was. he was staring at his phone, texting someone. he only looked up when he heard you clear your throat to make your prescence known.

"hey." you spoke, your voice seemingly quiet for some reason. his eyes looked at yours, a slightly amused expression in them, as he realized just who you were. he leaned against the door of the bathroom, a small smirk on his face.

"hey. you were the girl who was staring at me all night." he teased, tattooed hands making their way into his pockets. he made sure to look you up and down, taking you in as you felt yourself scoff.

"me? you, mr. guitarist, were the one staring me down all night." you retorted, rolling your eyes jokingly at his tease. he liked that, a small smile forming on his pretty face.

you felt him come closer to you, beginning to backing you into the wall. you made your eyes meet his, tension thick in the air before he spoke. "i was, not gonna deny it." he stated matter-of-factly. "name's diluc. what's yours?"

diluc. even his name was hot. quick and lewd images if you moaning it out filled your mind.

you told him your name softly, not failing to notice at how he was so obviously checking you out. he brought a cigarette to his lips, lighting it swiftly before inhaling it with a soft hum, blowing it back in your face gently. "did you like the show?" he asked, the smoke in your face causing you to cough, but you found it so sexy nontheless.

truthfully, you weren't paying attention to his show. "i wasn't listening." you spoke honestly, earning an amused laugh from the guitarist. usually, he would take offense to a statement like that, but he found it endearing from you, especially because he knew that he was the reason you weren't able to listen.

with the tension in the air, and the way he was staring you down, you wanted nothing more than to kiss him. to taste the bitterness of the cigarette on his lips, to hear him moan and curse because of you.

diluc took notice of how you were beginning to fidget under his gaze, your thighs slowly pressing themselves together. he found it adorable, and a bit of a turn-on as he could see just how much you wanted him.

he took a few more puffs of his cigarette before flicking it to the ground and crushing it beneath his shoe. he took a look around him to make sure no one was coming or going before pulling you into the bathroom. "this is ok, right?" he asked, pulling you close to him as he kicked the door closed with his foot.

you simply nodded, mind a bit hazy from his sudden movement. "'m want you so bad, thought about you all night." you spoke softly, running your hands through his hair before pushing his lips onto yours.

he kissed you roughly, his tongue feeling searing hot as it explored your mouth with ease. you could even feel a tongue piercing, a light moan left your lips at the feeling, soon being replaced by a gasp as he hooked his arms under your thighs and lifted you up. you made a note to explore his piercing more if there was ever a next time for you two.

you soon realized that diluc was big in every sense of the word. his hands, his height, his build, his cock. you could feel it getting bigger in the confines of his pants, your mind wandering to how he would hopefully soon be pounding into you.

although he wanted to take his time, get a chance to properly taste you and make you cry from being far too overstimulated, he knew his group was waiting for him and security would come checking the bathroom soon enough.

"gotta make this quick, 'kay baby? be a good girl and make sure not to be too loud." he said, bringing his fingers to your lips as a signal for you to let him in, and you did so gladly.

your tongue swirled around his fingers, coating them in your saliva as your eyes fluttered, making sure to keep eye contact with him. once he was sure they were coated enough, he pulled his fingers out, a string of saliva connecting them to you.

diluc placed you on the counter of the bathroom, quickly undoing your pants and pushing your panties to the side. you were both becoming desperate and impatient, the tension in the air making it almost unbreathable.

his hands lightly caressed your clit, circling the bud gently. a moan left your lips, hitching your leg on the counter for easier access as your head leaned against the wall. his slightly calloused hand did wonders for your clit, your cunt becoming drenched in it seemed a matter of seconds.

"you're so needy." he almost cooed, seeing at how honestly your cunt responded to his touch. "gonna give you what you want soon, baby. just gotta open you up first."

god, the way the name fell off his lips, the way he sounded so impatient yet caring was driving you absolutely insane.

a sharp intake of breath was heard as he inserted two large fingers into your cunt. it stung a bit, but he immediately used his free hand to circle your clit, causing the pain to subside almost immediately.

you whimpered as he moved his fingers, holding onto his arm for support as you bucked your hips up to meet his movement. you knew it was important, as you could feel how big he was from when he was carrying you, but you didn't care. you wanted him so bad.

"need more, want you inside." you whined out, your voice almost breathless as your back arched at the feeling of his continued touch on your clit.

diluc had probably known you in the matter of about 10-to-15 minutes, but he could see himself marrying you. you were so fucking hot, and your voice was driving him insane. though the marrying part was a bit of an exaggeration, he did wander about getting to know you more.

though, he pushed those thoughts to the back of his head as he got back to the matter at hand. you were practically undressing him yourself, hands almost shaking as you struggled with his pant zipper. it was so cute. he had barely even touched you yet you were shaking for him.

yeah, he was becoming obsessed with you.

he swiftly undid his zipper, pulling his cock out with a slight hiss at the feeling of the cold air hitting him. his cock was starving for you, standing hard and proud, head flushed and leaking precum already. you were both quite needy for each other, and you couldn't understand why.

though, the sight of his cock almost made you drool, shaky hands reaching towards his as you began to stroke his cock. a pleased hum left his lips, watching as you eagerly jerked him off.

once he had enough, he pulled you in, giving you a quick kiss as he turned you over, your stomach against the counter and face right up against the mirror that was against the wall. "remember, not too loud. okay, baby?"

you didn't even has time to answer as you felt him enter you, your hand slapping over your mouth as you cried out at his size. diluc wanted to be gentle... take his time, let you get used to him, but there was no time for that. his band mates would begin to wonder where he ran off too, and you would rather die than have hu tao come knocking at the door.

his free hand went back to your clit, pinching and circling his fingers around the bundle of nerves as he pounded into your cunt. tears formed in your eyes at the feeling, the pain and pleasure all too much to handle.

"you look so fucking pretty." diluc moaned, lips finding themselves on your neck as he muffled his moans into them. you muffled yourself with your hand, eyes rolling back at the feeling of his cock and his hand on your clit.

it was all so lewd. you two barely knew each other, yet here you were. fucking like two horny bunnies in the venue bathroom where he had just performed. you managed to catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and noticed just how much of a mess you looked.

your hair was slightly out of place, eyes teary and mascara running down your cheeks, which were hot and flustered. he was just so good. every thrust had your knees buckling and cunt begging for more.

the feeling of his fingers on your clit proved to be too much, soon enough gushing all over his cock with a loud whine, your orgasm ripping through you. your cunt was squeezing him so tight, he was going to go mad.

"shit– fuck, your pussy is so fucking addicting." he huffed, hands never stopping from circling your clit causing your legs to shake from the overstimulation.

he was so close. so fucking close and he wanted to ruin you. make you scream and cry, but that would have to be saved for another time.

his lips left a open kiss on your neck, licking the shell of your ear as his thrusts began to pick up. "can i cum inside, baby? don't wanna get your pretty clothes dirty." he whispered, his tone slightly whiny and desperate, causing you to almost cum again at the thought of him coming inside of you.

you quickly nodded, eyes tearful and overwhelmed with pleasure as you moved your hand and blabbed out. "yes, god– yes, please. please cum inside, i want it so bad. wanna be filled up."

your babbling was enough to push him over the edge, a low "fuck," leaving his lips as he emptied inside of your cunt, hips stuttering at the sensation.

you felt so full. you both fought to catch your breath, feeling quite exhausted afterwards. he wrapped his hand around your neck, pulling you up for a rather soft kiss despite the circumstance.

"thanks, bab-"

"hey, are you in there (y/n)?!" you heard hu tao outside of the bathroom, pounding on the door. you felt your heart drop, as you looked at diluc a bit cluelessly. he was still in you, for god sakes.

you both quickly separated and fixed your clothes, diluc smoothing your hair so it wasn't completely obvious that you two had fucked, despite it being really fucking obvious.

he gave you a quick wink, opening the door which revealed an extremely shocked and confused hu tao. with a slick smile, he looked back at you as he made his way past her. "thanks baby, feel free to call me sometime."

you were mortified, jaw agape as he walked away, not missing his quite adorable thumbs up as he made his way back to his band mates. you were then left with a smirking hu tao, who was far too nosy for her own good.

"oh my god, tell me everything!"

                                                    ༺♡༻

please do not repost or share!

[rupsmorge]

Mr. Floof

Spencer Reid x BAU Fem! Reader (she/her)

Summary: What could happen when two best friends have to share a bed while pining for each other? They spill the most wholesome of secrets, of course🧸

Fluff/One Bed Trope

cw: none- all fluffy goodness

An- this was been a WIP for so long. I love how it turned out. It's currently 1am when typing it out bc I got very inspired lol. Enjoy my loves

Not edited at all

Spencer's POV

After an extremely long day hunting down a killer in the smack-dab middle of nowhere in Oklahoma, the team was exhausted. The bau team had been working nonstop since getting the call at 4am about the case. With it now nearing midnight, Spencer and whole gang was ready to sleep.

Hotch's groggy voice was what woke Spencer out of his exhausted state. "unfortunately, due to the fear this unsub is causing and with how small the town is, we're going to have to buddy up."

Spencer and Y/n were always room buddies during this situation. They were best friend, inseparable, basically joined at hip. Spencer knew all of her secrets and Y/n knew all of his.

Except, of course, neither of them knew that they were both pining after each other. Spencer also didnt know that Y/n still slept with a teddy bear.

"hey Spence, do you mind if I take a shower and get ready for bed first? I'm really tired and will not get up once I sit down."

Spencer would never tell her no. "Yeah, thats fine. I'll just read until you're done."

Just as he went to go sit on his bed Spencer noticed something. There was only one, queen size mattress. "hey y/n, I know you probably do not mind but, uh, there is only one bed."

As Spencer turned around to look at her he definitely did not expect to see a wide eyed y/n. "y-yeah that's fine. sorry, I'm just really tired. I'm gonna take a quick shower." And with that she turned into the bathroom leaving Reid to overthink.

---time skip--

Spencer was sure that Y/n was uncomfortable sharing a bed with him. It was well bast 2am and she was tossing and turning, wide awake. He didn't know how to help her.

"Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help you sleep?" He asked with a rasp in his voice. He didnt want to bother her but he also dearly needed some rest.

"I'm sorry. N-no, I'm okay. I just... Don't laugh at me when I tell you this." She responded shyly, as if Spencer didnt know everything about her.

"of course I would never laugh at you."

With a soft sigh, she started to whisper, "alright... This case has been really hard-"

Spencer knew this. He knew that she was frustrated to the point on tears trying to decifer the puzzles and codes the unsub was using.

"- and usually when going to bed I still sleep with my childhood teddy bear."

Spencer couldn't help but break out into a laugh. She really thought that he would make fun of her for something so wholesome and sweet.

"Spencer!!" She whined, "you promised you wouldn't laugh." Y/n couldn't help but chuckle as well.

"I promise, I promise I'm not laughing at you. I just think its sweet that you were so worried of a teddy bear... Do you have it? Because I would love to meet it." Spencer responded sweetly. He knew how much something so simple could bring so much joy.

"Of course I have Mr. Floof!! What kind of question is that?!" Quickly, Y/n got out of the bed and brought over the bear of the night.

After a while of having fun messing with Mr. Floof, Spencer and Y/n became extremely tired. Y/n was already fast asleep when Spence started to doze off. It wasn't until he was on the brink of dream land when he felt his best friend lay their head on his chest and curl up into his side. Squished in between them was Mr. Floof.

The last thing Spencer heard before succumbing into his dreams was the faintest little "I love you, Spence."

It is safe to say that Spencer Reid fell asleep that night with a grin on his face, and all because of a well loved teddy bear