#but i had to be doing a puzzle or i couldn't focus i wore out all of my puzzles until i was 23 years old and moved out

[ohhoneato]

Brain be flashing back to before YouTube existed and I wanted to listen to anime music, so I would get onto this website I don't remember the name of anymore (that I'm pretty sure still exists) and listen to stuff on repeat, even though it didn't have a repeat button.

But I only knew like, 2 songs on the website and they were both from Inuyasha, which is one of the reasons I like the ending song Everyheart by Boa so much as an adult.

This is such a big memory for me, but I can barely even remember what the other song was anymore. I just know I'd sit in the family computer room and play the song on endless repeat for hours on the weekend and just play solitaire while daydreaming to it.

And now that I say this outloud through text on here, why didn't my parents realize I had mental illness sooner?

[inkspiredwriting]

Love, Hate, and Everything in Between

Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader

Warnings: none

Y/N and Five had the kind of relationship that was equal parts fiery arguments and undeniable chemistry. They bickered over everything, from the best way to handle temporal anomalies to whose turn it was to make coffee. But beneath the constant banter, there was a deep connection that neither of them could ignore.

One particularly intense day, after a mission that had gone sideways due to Five's impulsiveness and Y/N's stubbornness, they found themselves alone in the Umbrella Academy mansion. The argument that ensued was explosive, with both of them yelling and gesturing wildly.

"Why can't you ever just listen to me?" Y/N shouted, her face flushed with frustration.

"Because your plans are always overly complicated!" Five shot back, his eyes blazing.

They stood there, breathing heavily, the tension between them palpable. Then, without thinking, Five stepped forward and kissed her. It was as if all the anger and frustration melted away in that moment, replaced by an intense, undeniable passion.

What followed was an incredible night filled with laughter, whispered confessions, and the kind of intimacy that transcended their usual love-hate dynamic. For once, they let their guards down completely, and it was magical.

The next morning, however, brought a new challenge. Klaus, ever the nosy sibling, had noticed the change in the atmosphere. As Y/N and Five tried to navigate their way through breakfast without making eye contact, Klaus sauntered into the kitchen, a knowing smirk on his face.

"Well, well, well," Klaus drawled, leaning against the counter. "What do we have here? Did our favorite bickering duo finally decide to make up?"

Five rolled his eyes, desperately trying to keep a straight face. "Klaus, mind your own business."

Y/N, blushing furiously, tried to focus on her coffee. "Yeah, Klaus. Can't you find someone else to bother?"

Klaus chuckled, clearly enjoying their discomfort. "Oh, but this is so much more fun. You two were like a ticking time bomb, and I, for one, am thrilled to see it finally go off."

Throughout the day, Klaus continued to drop hints and make suggestive comments, much to the annoyance of Five and Y/N. During a meeting, he winked at them, causing Luther and Diego to exchange puzzled glances.

"What's with you today, Klaus?" Diego asked, narrowing his eyes.

Klaus grinned. "Oh, nothing. Just appreciating the beauty of love in unexpected places."

Five groaned, rubbing his temples. "Can we please focus on the task at hand?"

Y/N shot Klaus a warning look, but he just winked at her. "Oh, come on, Y/N. Lighten up. It's all in good fun."

As the day wore on, Five and Y/N found themselves constantly bumping into each other, their usual bickering now tinged with a new, playful energy. Despite Klaus's relentless teasing, they couldn't help but steal glances and share secret smiles.

Later that evening, after everyone had retired to their rooms, Five found Y/N on the rooftop, staring out at the city. He approached quietly, slipping his hand into hers.

"Sorry about Klaus," he said softly. "He's impossible."

Y/N laughed, leaning her head against his shoulder. "It's okay. He's actually kind of right. We were a ticking time bomb."

Five smiled, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Yeah, but maybe that's not such a bad thing."

As they stood there together, wrapped in the warmth of the moment, they realized that their love-hate relationship had only made their bond stronger.

And if dealing with Klaus's teasing was the price they had to pay, it was a small one. Because for the first time, they knew that they were exactly where they were meant to be—side by side, ready to face whatever came next.

[landofkissesxo]

Bullied Yan Step Sister X Bully Fem Y/N

Part 1 Part 2

Part 111

Y/N’s POV:

I woke up feeling sore all over my body. I squinted at the morning light spilling through my curtains, trying to shake off the heaviness in my limbs. Confusion enveloped me as I attempted to recall what had transpired last night, but nothing came to mind.

I pushed myself up into a sitting position, wincing slightly as my muscles protested. It felt as though I’d run a marathon or had been caught in a wrestling match, yet I couldn't pinpoint a single moment that would explain my discomfort. A sense of dread washed over me, amplifying my confusion.

As I swung my legs out of bed, I caught sight of my step-sister, Yui, walking past her room. Yui looked unfazed, a mischievous smile dancing on her lips. The smile sent a chill of suspicion down my spine; it was the kind of smile Yui wore right before she pulled a prank or concocted a scheme.

My heart raced as I tried to piece together the fragmented memories. Could it be that Yui had harmed me while I was sleeping? The very thought made me feel cold inside. I doubted that Yui would do something so malicious, she is weak after all, but the unexplained soreness kept gnawing at my thoughts. The uneasiness settled like a weight on my chest.

Grabbing my phone, I checked the time, hoping to find something—anything—that might spark my memory. Moments passed, filled only with a growing sense of confusion. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something monumental I had forgotten. After brushing my hair back, I decided it was best to confront Yui. Whatever had happened, I knew Yui would have answers—or at least, a hint of what took place.

Third Person POV:

She found Yui lounging on the couch, giggling at something on her phone. “Hey,” Y/N said, trying to sound casual despite the tremor in her voice. Yui glanced up, her smile widening.

"Good morning, sleepyhead. You look rough," Yui teased, briefly gazing at the hickey on Y/N’s neck and quickly looking away, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

Y/N crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes. “What happened last night? Why do I feel like I’ve been trampled by a herd of elephants?”

Yui’s laughter filled the room, a sound Y/N usually found annoying. “You seriously don’t remember?” she asked, pretending to be surprised.

“No, I don’t! Tell me!” Y/N urged, her agitation rising.

"Okay, okay! We had that party at Alex's place. You were the life of the party, throwing down on the dance floor," Yui explained, her tone light and teasing. “You even entered a dance-off—lost to Ben, but you gave it your all. Everyone was cheering for you.”

Y/N’s mind spun as she tried to jog her memory. A dance-off? The image of her dancing on the floor surrounded by friends flickered like a slideshow, but it was hazy and disjointed. “That was it?”

“Pretty much. Oh, and you decided it would be fun to do a little karaoke after. I thought you were going to challenge the whole room!” Yui’s laughter bubbled over once more.

“But what about the sore feeling?” Y/N pressed, genuinely puzzled.

Yui smirked. “You insisted on doing the worm. Apparently, not everyone can pull it off like you think you can.”

Y/N's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and she slapped her hand to her forehead. The night’s events started creeping into focus. She could almost hear the music, the cheers, and the laughter echoing in her ears. “Oh no… I can’t believe I did that,” she groaned, her head sinking into her hands.

Yui wasn’t lying though, all of it was true both of them went to the party, but what Y/N didn’t know is what happened after she went home that night and what is making Yui smile on her phone about.

next

[breathlesslink]

Chapter Nine — New Phase

t.o.c ; << | >>

Link could have been back earlier, but he needed a minute.

Nothing could have prepared him for the Divine Beast. He expected fighting, but puzzles? He didn't think he'd also have to use his brain instead of just his brawn, but that made some sense since the shrines were also predominately puzzles.

The small underlings of Ganon's weren't difficult. Just little sentries, designed to look like mini guardians. The creature of malice that had defeated Mipha, however, was different.

She called it 'Waterblight Ganon', a small manifestation of his power sent to destroy the Champions and claim the beasts as his own like he did the other Ancient technologies. Link could see how a monster like that would be difficult to beat.

After Vah Ruta traveled her way to a spot to aim her beam at Hyrule Castle, Link took a break.

He sat on the grass next to the Beast, staying there long after Mipha's spirit had disappeared.

His chest felt heavy. Grief was already a strange emotion— he'd known that from when he lost his parents. But to grieve someone you don't remember meeting? He didn't even know what he was grieving. Mipha was apparently a close friend, consoling him on the days when Zelda became a bit too much to handle.

He remembered her, but only a bit. He knew that he knew her. He knew that they were close, but that was it. To learn that she had crafted the Zora Armor he wore because she wanted to marry him—

The Zora Armor.

You would think it looked so cool. He had to get back and show you. He knew you would love to hear about what happened.

Link groaned and stretched, sore from the fighting and dreading the trek back to the Domain. But he was excited too, to see you again and tell you about everything that happened.

———

A delicious smell wafted through the openings of the inn as you and Kodah worked tirelessly over the cooking pot, countless servings of seafood paella being churned out as word of Vah Ruta's defeat began to spread.

Zora's noticed her return to her original place high above the Kingdom hours ago, but Link had yet to come back. You tried to ignore the anxiety that rested deep in your stomach and focus on the dinner in front of you, but you couldn't help but watch the front of the Domain as you helped serve the Zora citizens their feast.

"Staring isn't going to make him magically appear, you know." Kodah teased. You rolled your eyes.

"I'm just a little worried. Vah Ruta has been fine for a few hours now. What if he's so injured that he can't make it back?"

"I think you're full of blubber." Kodah scooped another serving of paella for a Zora in line. "You of all people know that he's supposed to defeat Ganon. Do you really think he'd let something like this get him so easily?"

Considering he almost died before, maybe.

But you didn't want to say that, so instead you shrugged, tossing in another batch of shrimp to the pot.

"I put my full faith in him. But he's still Hylian at the end of the day. He's mortal. Might not be dead, but he could be hurt."

"You say you don't doubt me, but it sure sounds like you do."

There was a beat of silence as you processed the third voice that joined the conversation, and then your ladle fell to the ground.

You whipped around, unable to contain the smoke that stretched across your face as you rushed towards Link. He had a grin of his own, but it quickly faded into a look of surprise as you practically tackled him to the ground in a tight hug. Link took the brunt of the fall as you landed on top of him, but if it hurt he didn't show it. Instead he hugged you back, his arms sliding around your waist and squeezing. His cheek rested on your head.

"What took you so long! Are you okay?" You pulled away only a few inches to inspect him, but seeing as though he seemed fine you returned to your spot under his chin.

"Just needed a breather. Solving a bunch of puzzles and fighting an entity that's just a mini Ganon takes a lot out of you.

"And I bet the puzzles were harder than the fight." You snorted.

"That's just rude." Link playfully shoved you off of him, sticking his nose in the air. He didn't deny it. "What is that smell? I'm starving."

As if on cue, his stomach rumbled. You laughed and stood up, offering your hand to him. Link took it and hoisted himself up, the task a bit more difficult with how tired he was.

"Kodah and I made a huge seafood paella dinner for everyone to celebrate. We made sure to make enough for you when you came back."

"Oh my goddess, really?" Link's mouth watered as he watched you scoop a serving for him. "You're the best thing to ever happen to me."

You slightly flushed, but ignored his comment in favor of making your own plate and informing Kodah of your departure to eat with Link. You led him to a more secluded area, away from the crowds, figuring that he'd had enough of the socialization for a while. You certainly had.

You watched as Link took a tentative bite of the paella before diving in. You couldn't help but laugh. "You're gonna choke if you don't slow down."

"You go do the shit I did and then tell me that again."

"I would, but you said I'm not allowed." You joked, playfully pouting.

Link rolled his eyes. "Right. And after experiencing it, my rule still stands. If anything, it stands even stronger."

"Really? It was that bad, huh?"

"Uh, some parts were." He put down his utensils for a second. "It's draining, that's for sure. I, uh, saw the old Champion."

"Mipha?" Sidon had given you the rundown after returning from Link.

"Yeah. I remembered her. It sucked, but in like a different way than usual." You stayed silent, so he continued. "Like, obviously I knew her and was close with her. So I should be grieving her death, right? Except, I'm not because I don't remember her. So I only feel guilty now, because I feel like I should feel worse about it and that makes me feel even worse but in a different way. And it doesn't make any sense but—"

Link's rambling was cut off as you laid your hand on his. His eyes shot up to meet yours, the calming aura reflecting in them helping to soothe him a bit.

"Link, your circumstances are one in a million. There's a lot of things that should have happened, or ways that things should be, but guess what? It didn't happen. You've got to navigate an entirely new life— you're still in the same body as 100 years ago, but everything is different now. The land, the times, even you seem more different than how you described how you used to be. You told me that you never talked, but now you're so talkative.

Maybe 100 years ago you'd grieve properly, but even then is there even a right way to grieve? Everyone handles it differently. You feel guilty for not remembering her, right?"

Link nodded, averting his eyes in shame. You squeezed his hand.

"From what you do remember, do you think she'd want you to be sad about it? Or do you think she'd want you to just think about the happy times you can remember?"

"Definitely the happy times." He had a far-away look in his eyes, probably playing the few memories he does have of Mipha in his head. "She was always about being strong and looking on the bright side."

"And she believed that you fit her mindset so similarly that she wanted to marry you! You, of all people. Marriage material? I don't know about that—"

"Hey! I'll let you know I'd make a perfect husband." Link huffed and sent a grin your way. "It's not like I would've married her anyways. When I remember her, I get the feeling that I loved her as more of a sister than anything. I didn't even know about the Armer being made."

"And what cool armor it is." You laughed.

You'd brought up the marriage subtly, wanting to get Link's input on it without him teasing you for caring so much. When Sidon told you of Mipha's story, you questioned whether Link returned her feelings or not. You hated to admit, but you were definitely a little jealous. Not in a romantic way, of course.

In more of a "You're my first friend in a very long time and I don't want anyone else to have your attention" kind of way. Yeah. You had one more question to curb your jealous curiosity for the day, though.

"If not Mipha, what about Zelda? Isn't it like a fairy tale come true for a princess and her knight to fall in love?"

"No," Link laughed and shook his head, as if it was some absurd idea. "Zelda hated me up until a few days before Ganon attacked, I'm pretty sure. Plus, she was into some other knight at the castle. That's another reason why she was so mad that I was her knight and he wasn't."

"Oh come on." You felt better, but now you just wanted to tease. "There's no way a guy like you wasn't drowning in women."

Link flushed, and you bit back a laugh. "N-no! I told you, I didn't even talk to anyone! I was so focused on being a knight, and then being the Champion, I didn't have time for anything else."

"You for sure had women eyeing you. There's no way you didn't. You're too handsome for that."

Link continued to flush. He'd mentioned many times before that in the past, the burden of protecting Hyrule kept him stoic and quiet, but you had to tease him. His social skills were never entirely up to par.

"Stop messing with me." He finally let go of your hand and grabbed his utensils again to finish the paella. "What did you do when I was gone?"

You looked at your plate for a split second, trying to make a decision on what to say. Link would be so upset if you fought a monster alone, but you would like to think he'd also be proud.

You remembered moments before the fight, when the Yiga member taunted you from the trees. He beckoned you back to Gerudo under potentially false promises of knowing your brother's location.

"I just healed. Rested and went on a walk or two to keep my muscles from getting stiff."

"That's it?" Link didn't sound convinced. "Very unlike you to actually listen to Doctor's orders."

"Yeah, well," You paused for a second, trying to think of literally anything to defend yourself. Sometimes, telling the truth is the best lie you could create. "I just didn't want to hold you back from any more of the journey, so I wanted to get better as soon as possible."

Nobody ever said it had to be the truth of the current situation.

"Oh please," Link waved his hand, "I'd carry you on my back across Hyrule if I had to."

You didn't have a solid response to that and you were nearly certain Link was unaware of the feeling he just gave you in the pit of your stomach. You needed to change the subject.

"How long do you think it'll be until we reach Gerudo?"

"I was planning on hitting Elden next since its closer. Any reason why?"

Bad change of subject.

"Uh, I just miss my family there a bit. But if we're going to Elden first, I can wait. No worries."

You wouldn't show that it was indeed major worries, but perhaps when Link was off fighting the Divine Beast on Death Mountain you could scout another Yiga soldier and make them give you more information. It didn't feel right doing all of this behind his back, but you were feeling more and more desperate to reach Hiro with every passing moment, especially now that you knew your next move.

You always worked best alone during the little missions that the Yiga had sent you out on. It was taking all of your self-restraint to not just up and leave now to find Hiro, but you also felt a sense of responsibility towards Link. Like it was your own personal mission to protect him from the Yiga and any other threat that may come to him during his mission.

You knew the minute you realized who he was that your old way of life would no longer work. You needed to adapt and find new ways to solve your issues in your new phase of life.

Your new phase with Link by your side.

[pure-garbage]

Ten Seconds Of Teamwork And The Most Important Thing

Chapter Warnings: Language, Violence, Gore, Angst. Minors DNI

"This is starting to look grim," Lana lamented.

"How? All we have to do is win the next two games," Zoro countered. "Too easy."

"Is it really?"

"Yep. I'm up next. I won't lose, no matter what."

"I believe you. Even so... this whole circus is so stupid.."

"Just relax and do your best to enjoy it. Grab some snacks, sit back and watch me dominate this next round."

"We don't even know what groggy ring is yet," Lana pointed out. "I mean, unless it's an east blue game?"

"Not one I've ever heard of. Doesn't matter though, 'cause whatever it is-"

"I know, whatever it is, you'll dominate it," Lana sighed, rolling her eyes with a slight smile. As much as the Davy Back fight was causing her anxiety, she couldn't resist that grin of his.

"Exactly."

Lana wanted to do as Zoro told her, but the match started to prove problematic before it even began. The rule banning weapons was the least of Lana's worries.

"Here, hang onto these for me," Zoro grinned. His confidence was unshaken as he entrusted his swords to Lana.

"Fine, but Zoro?"

"Mm?"

"Stop screwing with Sanji and try to focus," she plead.

"Tch!"

"Hey, I'm serious," she caught his wrist, pulling him back. Her visible concern gave him pause.

"Lana, come on," he scoffed. "Don't tell me you don't believe I can win this?"

"I believe in you, sure, but I'm not sure you get what's at stake," Lana growled, patience wearing thin.

"Of course I understand the stakes. We need to get Chopper back, no matt-"

"No matter what, yeah, but that's the carrot for winning. Don't forget there's a stick waiting for us if we lose."

'Oh. That's why she's so agitated.'

"I haven't forgotten," he assured her. "I won't lose."

"You keep saying that and it worries me," Lana pressed. "This is a team game and we're already down a man. Just... tell me you'll try to work with Sanji to win this. Just for like, ten seconds, okay?"

"There's no need to worry," Zoro insisted. Of all the things he admired about Lana, he wished she wasn't so ruled by emotion at times. He pulled free of her grasp and headed back into the field. Lana watched him go with a furrowed brow and pursed lips.

As the game wore on, Lana's distress only grew. Robin noticed while the rest of the crew were busy spectating or raging at Foxy's cheating.

"You're worried."

"They're gonna lose because of their stupid little rivalry!" Lana fumed, tightening her grip on the swords. "The stakes are so damn high! Can't he suck it up for long enough to win this crappy game?!"

It was obvious to Robin what had Lana so worked up.

"If they lose, the odds of the two of you being separated are still-"

"They won't lose!" Lana crossed her arms firmly over her chest. Zoro and Sanji were both laid out, but she watched them closely, waiting for something. Robin watched with her, hoping to see what she was expecting.

Softly, Zoro said something to Sanji. Robin couldn't make out what it was.

"They won't lose," Lana reiterated, more certainly this time.

When the groggy straw hats arose, they finally started cooperating. The comeback they orchestrated was stunning, but Lana didn't cheer for them.

"Told you I wouldn't lose," Zoro smirked, grin bloodied. He approached Lana, puzzled by the stormy look on her face. "Hey, why're you upset? We won, shouldn't- Uh!"

"Here!"

She shoved all three swords against his chest and whirled away angrily.

"Lana!" Zoro called, ire tinting his tone. He wasn't about to let her stomp off without consequences. He chased her, sliding his swords back through their loops just as he watched her vanish into a tent. He followed her, catching her in a dark corner between canvas and barrels.

"Lana, what's the problem now?" he demanded.

"You. IDIOT!"

She leaned over a barrel, fingers splintering the wood with the force of her grip. Zoro would have been impressed with the strength she was building, but she didn't give him time to appreciate the fruits of their training.

"That was way too close! I TOLD you to stop messing around, didn't I?!"

Lana was so incensed she was afraid she would slap him if she faced him, so she took her rage out on another barrel instead.

"What does it matter? We won, shouldn't that-"

"Zoro! Stop. Talking!"

He did, waiting with narrowed eyes and his hands on his hips for her to go on. Lana composed herself with great force of will. She could feel his irritation without even looking at him, could feel his eyes boring intensely into her back as she snapped a plank of wood into even smaller pieces out of frustration.

"This game is fucking terrifying. I hate Foxy, I hate his goons... I've never questioned Luffy, not yet, and I never will, but... Zoro, I'm so scared. What if-"

"Don't."

Zoro pulled the wood from her hands and chucked it over his shoulder.

"I thought that might be why you're throwing this tantrum," he informed her. "Don't even say it."

"Just 'cause it goes unsaid doesn't mean it can't happen," Lana pointed out.

"Our crew is staying together. Nothing can happen here that will change that."

"If Luffy sends one of us-"

"I said don't."

"You jerk!"

Lana swept his ankles, wrenching a startled cry from him as he went down.

'Damn she's getting fast!'

He grabbed onto her to steady himself, but only succeeded in pulling her down with him.

"You're gonna let me finish what I have to say!" she snarled, bearing down over him on the grass. He let her, uninterested in resisting. He wasn't interested in hearing what she had to say either, but she knew that. If she was willing to resort to roughhousing to get her point across, he would let her at least get it off her chest.

"We'd go if he ordered us to!" she snapped. "Wouldn't we?! Would either of us hesitate?!"

"It won't happen," Zoro assured her. He abandoned anger and seized her hand, squeezing hard. He hoped the gesture would comfort her, but his words only seemed to upset her more. He didn't understand why, until...

"Is that all you can say?!" she raged. "Don't you care?! You might lose me here! I might lose..."

Her voice broke, but Zoro understood why now.

'It's all emotion. She's not using her head at all. Though in this case, I actually have a hard time holding it against her. Even so...'

"Just the thought that I might lose you here, over something so petty..."

Lana carried a sadness with her like a parasite, the inevitability of Zoro's deadly dream haunting her. She always pushed it down, did her best not to think about it, but faced with the possibility of an earlier separation than she'd ever anticipated, all the feelings she'd been repressing surged out to overwhelm her.

"I can't... I don't know how to cope with this," she managed, struggling to keep herself from choking on the sorrow rising within her. "And I know you're the level-headed one, I know that's your whole thing, and that's great, but right now it feels so... so fucking cold! You're the most important thing in my life and I'm fucking terrified that we might be separated and I can't help feeling that way! I can't help being angry, I can't fucking help being scared, so unless you don't feel the same way, stop acting like this stupid game doesn't bother you too!"

The air grew heavy in the dim tent, the sounds of their ragged breaths the only break in the suffocating silence. Now that she'd let the words slip out, a fear gripped Lana that was even more oppressive than the Davy Back fight.

"Unless... unless you don't... feel the same way," she muttered.

"Stupid lockpick."

Zoro grabbed a handful of her shirt and yanked her down roughly. The sloppy, desperate grind of his lips against hers barely qualified as a kiss. All Lana could taste was blood, the iron tang reminding her of the beating he'd just taken in the groggy ring.

"Of course I do," he declared decisively. "But I believe in our captain and I trust our crew. So what if you're important to me? You are, but I'm not scared of us being separated. Not even a little. Understand? Lana, do you understand?"

"I..."

"You're level-headed too, so I need you to stop letting yourself get so worked up," he went on. "You're thinking about it too much. I need you to stop thinking so damn much and just have faith. Faith in Luffy, sure, faith in the others, fine, but Lana, I need you to have faith in me. This doesn't work if you don't trust me more than anything in the world. That's how you're gonna cope, understand? Say it. Say you understand."

His touch soothed Lana's racing pulse, his steadiness calmed the storm of her turbulent emotions. His palms on her cheeks were comforting, his tone a tonic to her ills that she couldn't resist drinking in full.

"I do," she sighed, surrendering her irritation and letting him pull her face down against his chest. She felt him sigh deeply in response, felt his chin settle on the top of her head while he stroked her hair. The fact that he was still bleeding didn't escape her notice.

"Idiot swordsman," she cursed half-heartedly. "You let those monsters do a number on you out there.

"Took me a minute to get warmed up, that's all."

__________________________________________________

<== Previous Chapter

Next Chapter ==>

== First Chapter ==

[enchantedquill-40]

T Title: "Finding Our Way Together"

Tags:

- Shameless

- Fanfiction

- Ian Gallagher

- Mickey Milkovich

- Bipolar Disorder

- ADHD

- Mental Health

- Support

- Relationships

- Love

- Understanding itle: "Finding Our Way Together"

Tags:

- Shameless

- Fanfiction

- Ian Gallagher

- Mickey Milkovich

- Bipolar Disorder

- ADHD

- Mental Health

- Support

- Relationships

- Love

- Understanding

Ian Gallagher had always felt like he was navigating through life with a missing puzzle piece. His bisexuality and bipolar disorder created a complex internal landscape, one where he often felt like he didn't quite fit in. But then Mickey Milkovich entered his life, and suddenly, things began to click into place in unexpected ways.

As Ian observed Mickey's erratic behavior, his constant need for stimulation, and his impulsivity, he couldn't help but notice the patterns. It wasn't just Mickey being Mickey; there was something more beneath the surface. It was as if Ian had stumbled upon a key to unlock a hidden truth.

In the quiet moments between them, Ian started piecing together the puzzle. He researched, he observed, and he talked to Mickey. And slowly, he began to realize that Mickey might have ADHD. Suddenly, so much of Mickey's behavior made sense – his restlessness, his inability to focus, his quick temper.

As Ian delved deeper into understanding ADHD, he found himself feeling a new sense of connection with Mickey. They weren't just two misfits trying to make sense of the world; they were two souls bound together by their shared struggles and their determination to overcome them.

Together, they navigated the ups and downs of Mickey's ADHD, finding ways to manage the symptoms and embrace the unique strengths it brought. And in doing so, Ian discovered a newfound sense of purpose – to support Mickey, to love him fiercely, and to remind him that he was never alone in his battles.

Their love story wasn't perfect, but it was theirs – messy, complicated, and undeniably beautiful. And as they faced the challenges ahead, Ian knew that as long as they had each other, they could weather any storm that came their way. Mickey trudged through the day, his mind a whirlwind of chaos. Nothing seemed to go right – from spilling coffee on his shirt in the morning to forgetting his keys for the third time that week. He couldn't shake the feeling of frustration and confusion that seemed to cling to him like a dark cloud.

As he sat in their small apartment, trying to gather his thoughts, Ian's voice pierced through the haze. "Mickey, have you looked into ADHD at all? I really think it could help you understand what's going on."

Mickey scowled, his irritation bubbling to the surface. "What the hell are you talking about, Ian? I don't need some fancy diagnosis to tell me I'm messed up."

Ian sighed, his frustration mirroring Mickey's own. "It's not about being 'messed up,' Mickey. ADHD isn't a label; it's an explanation. It could help you understand why you feel the way you do, why you struggle with certain things."

Mickey clenched his jaw, his resistance flaring. "I don't need your pity, Gallagher. I'm fine just the way I am."

Ian's tone softened, his eyes pleading. "Mickey, it's not about pity. It's about understanding. I just want to help you make sense of things."

Mickey felt a surge of anger rise within him, but beneath it, there was something else – a flicker of curiosity, of longing for answers. He pushed it aside, burying it beneath layers of defensiveness. "I don't need your help, Ian. I can figure this out on my own."

Ian reached out, his hand hovering uncertainly before he withdrew it. "Okay, Mickey. I won't push you. But if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."

Mickey watched as Ian retreated, his heart heavy with conflicting emotions. He wanted to push Ian away, to shut himself off from the world and wallow in his anger. But a part of him – a small, vulnerable part – longed for the connection, for the understanding that Ian offered.

As the day wore on, Mickey found himself unable to shake the nagging feeling that Ian might be onto something. He resisted the urge to Google ADHD, to delve into the maze of information that awaited him. But no matter how hard he tried to distract himself, the question lingered in the back of his mind, taunting him with its unanswered riddles.

By the time Ian returned home that evening, Mickey was exhausted – not just physically, but mentally and emotionally drained. He avoided Ian's gaze, his pride warring with his curiosity.

Ian approached him slowly, his eyes filled with a mixture of concern and understanding. "Mickey, I'm sorry if I pushed too hard earlier. I just want what's best for you."

Mickey hesitated, his resolve crumbling in the face of Ian's unwavering kindness. "Maybe... maybe we could talk about it. Just... just a little."As Ian kissed Mickey, he felt a rush of overwhelming affection flood his senses. Every touch, every taste, every sound was amplified in his mind, filling him with a sense of completeness he had never known before. He loved everything about Mickey – his chatty nature, his outgoing attitude, his moments of shyness that made Ian's heart melt.

Their kisses deepened, becoming more urgent and passionate with each passing moment. Ian's hands roamed Mickey's body, tracing the familiar contours of muscle and bone with a reverence born of love and desire. Mickey responded eagerly, his own hands tangling in Ian's hair as he pulled him closer, seeking more of the intoxicating connection they shared.

But even as they lost themselves in the heat of the moment, Ian couldn't shake the nagging feeling of unease that lingered in the back of his mind. He knew Mickey struggled with intimacy at times, his past traumas and insecurities casting a shadow over their relationship. Ian wanted nothing more than to help Mickey overcome those barriers, to show him that he was safe and loved in Ian's arms.

As their kisses grew more fervent, Ian made a silent vow to himself – tonight, he would make Mickey come undone, not just physically, but emotionally as well. He would show Mickey what it truly meant to be loved unconditionally, to be cherished and adored without reservation.

Breaking away from the kiss, Ian trailed a path of soft, lingering kisses down Mickey's neck, reveling in the way Mickey's breath hitched in response. He whispered words of love and reassurance against Mickey's skin, his voice a soothing balm against the lingering echoes of doubt and fear.

Mickey trembled beneath Ian's touch, his barriers slowly crumbling in the face of Ian's unwavering devotion. He had never felt so vulnerable, so exposed, and yet so completely safe all at once. With Ian, he didn't have to hide or pretend – he could simply be himself, flaws and all.

As Ian's lips found their way to Mickey's chest, tracing patterns of desire and need across his skin, Mickey felt his heart swell with a warmth he had never known before. He had spent so long pushing people away, building walls around his heart to protect himself from pain. But with Ian, those walls seemed to melt away, leaving nothing but raw, unfiltered emotion in their wake.

With a soft whimper, Mickey arched into Ian's touch, surrendering himself completely to the tide of sensation that threatened to consume him. He felt as if he were on the edge of a precipice, teetering on the brink of something vast and overwhelming, yet undeniably beautiful.

And then, with a whispered promise and a gentle touch, Ian pushed Mickey over the edge, sending him spiraling into a blissful oblivion where time and space ceased to exist. In that moment, there was only Ian – his touch, his love, his unwavering devotion – and Mickey knew, with a certainty that echoed in the depths of his soul, that he was home.

[ego-morior]

LV

I'm stuck.

God, you would think the feeling would go away once you hit 30 but it will probably take me 30 more years to realize feeling stuck is just something very human that happens to humans.

I've been debating going to therapy recently, just to get a third person point of view on the feelings I harbor. Someone without bias to validate certain things and point out the flaws of others. A different pair of eyes to take a look at all the puzzle pieces I have yet to combine together across the table. Someone with enough experience to point out that there are a few missing edges that I will never recover and that it's okay to stop searching for them. Maybe hearing it out loud from someone else won't hurt as much as when I whisper it to myself in the middle of the night on a random Tuesday.

Something you learn a little later on, is that writing things after a breakdown and not during one, will always be easier to digest on an empty stomach. The rage, sorrow, fear and anguish have simmered down into a stew that isn't bubbling violently over the edges. When it's finally warm enough to sip from without burning your tongue, that is when you should pick up the pen. And that's exactly what I'm choosing to do now, on a cold morning in November.

November 8th, 2023.

I have quietly wept during the past days and loudly sobbed during the past few nights. This is the first morning I don't wake up with a wet pillow and the first time I can drink my coffee and listen to something silly online that has nothing to do with my life. Maybe it's the seasonal depression or the timing of Snapchat memories that has claimed victory to my senses this year. About two weeks ago, I gave up on a love I hadn't heard from in three years. The first year apart, I carried the yearning in the front pocket of every flannel I wore, the second year, I kept it in my purse, far enough where it wasn't part of who I was anymore, but close enough if I ever needed it. The third year, I kept those feelings in a small box in my sock drawer. And now, I have accepted the fact that they have no place in my home or in my life, because the idea of a "maybe one day," has lost it's meaning as time marched forward.

I spoke about him in passing, but I never really emphasized his importance in my growth. Maybe one day, I'll tell you about him, but for now just know, that the person I thought was my other half, was nothing more than a simple tease from the universe. There are several hundreds of articles on how to identify a soulmate or a soul tie. How to know "they're the one" etc. Something silly to give a lost existence some sort of made up trajectory to feel better about yourself for not being able to find a definitive path. But what they don't tell you, is that once your sense of escapism finishes, you feel more lost than before. Because directly afterwards as your feet move forward, your head keeps looking back at what could have been, what might have been, the 'where did they go?'s or the 'what are they doing now's and you don't focus on what's in front of you. The moment you stop looking back, you realize time has continued on and your feet have taken you somewhere you don't recognize.

Here I am, somewhere new, but only mentally and emotionally.

A different man I had a small chapter with, became a father this week. The man I spent almost a decade with, my very first relationship, has purchased a large home on an even larger property with a new wife. A couple of childhood friends have gotten married and made families. Time has moved on, and the frustration I have felt these past days is that everyone seems to have proof that time has moved on. Everybody, except me.

I wondered if maybe I was jealous of them, while I cried and sobbed and screamed uncontrollably this week. I couldn't put into words how every image was a punch in the gut. Some have wondered if maybe I missed my ex, or maybe I wanted to be the third baby-mama of the man who taught me how to love my own body. But I feel nothing towards them in particular and I didn't have the words to explain the anguish I felt to those who tried leaning an ear my way. The emotions felt deeper than just missing or yearning somebody from my past, but the explanations that came out of me only seemed to lean in that direction.

But the pot has finally simmered.

And I can finally put into words what my heart and mind have been begging to express.

I hate that everyone I have known, then and now, has proof that time has moved forward. A new home, a new baby, a new wife in a new place in a new stage in life takes time and energy. These kinds of things don't just happen. I have an apartment, a car, and a small position as a glorified cashier in a store.

I don't have a published book, or a new relationship to flaunt. I don't have a well-paying job or an upcoming vacation I can plan to run away from the feelings I pretend I don't pack in the suitcase I carry with me. The passage of time has always been the antagonist of my life and oddly enough, all it does is its job.

And it does it well, and it does it for everything and everyone else.

[sylusjinwoon]

{ 56 }

love us again.

shoto todoroki x fem.reader

shoto todoroki was never known to be a man who wore his heart on his sleeve, always remaining tight lipped and secretive despite how much he tried to open up.

and he knew how much his stoic and silent nature was taking its toll on you.

when you first got together, it was actually you who made the first move and asked him out. your eyes were shining with a look akin to pure adoration for him as you told him how much you liked him-

he accepted your feelings with little hesitation. sure, he played the part of your boyfriend well. shoto always took you out on dates and spent time with you. you would never notice, but all those dates you spent together were moments he cherished. with you, he didn't have to worry about his namesake and quirk getting in the way of your seemingly unconditional love for him. he knew that you solely wanted to be with him because you loved him for who he was.

so why was it that shoto couldn't seem to express his love for you in the way you desperately craved? each time you would lean closer to him, he would automatically back away, as if caught off guard by your close proximity. when you would try and give him a gentle kiss, he would immediately turn away and allow your lips to meet with the hardened slant of his cheekbone.

shoto never outright rejected your cues of physical affection, but he was always uncertain when it came to returning it. his arm would awkwardly be slung around your form in an uncomfortable embrace, and those moments where he found the courage to return your kisses, his teeth would either clash with yours or scrape against your bottom lip.

it felt as though you and he were mismatched puzzle pieces, and shoto didn't know what to do to fix it. despite how you never complained or said a word about his lack of affection, he knew that you were deeply hurt by him.

during the late hours of the night, shoto felt your side of the bed become cold when his hands tried to reach out to you. upon realizing that you were not asleep next to him like he had assumed, shoto immediately gets out of bed. his bare feet pads against the flooring of your apartment, following the sounds of your soft sobbing as it leads him to your shared kitchen.

you were bathed beneath the intimate glow of the kitchen light, back facing him as you trembled, crying in front of the sink. despite your tears, shoto couldn't help but find you beautiful with your messy hair, wearing nothing but an oversized shirt that showed off the expanse of your legs. softly, he calls out your name, making you gasp when you finally face him.

he swore, he'd never forget the pained expression on your face, feeling his heart squeeze almost painfully from within his chest. as if it hurt to just look at him, you turn away and shakily say his name, "i- it's not working out. i feel as if it's best if we-"

"you've always wanted to dance, but was afraid to do so, right?"

shoto takes note of the bewildered expression on your face, knowing all too well that you wanted to break up with him and try to find someone who could love you the way you deserved.

but shoto was selfish. he wasn't ready to let you go, not when he wanted to try harder and truly make you happy.

he beckons you to come closer to him, and you hesitate for a few seconds before allowing him to take your hand. using his strength alone, he places you in his arms and on top of his feet, balancing you as he moved as gracefully as he could around the kitchen.

your tears had dried by then as your giggles were all that he could focus on. it felt a little silly, really, pretending to dance with shoto while he kept you so close to him. shoto felt you caving in to your desires, resting your head against his shoulder when you ask, "where'd you learn to do this?"

he breathes in your scent and buried his nose within your hair, "i saw this happen in a movie once, when the female lead said she didn't feel confident with dancing so her love interest taught her by doing this." he chuckles before admitting, "however, i think it was just an excuse on his end to stay close to her."

you hum, understanding his intentions, "and did it work?"

"yeah, i think so, because during that exact moment was when the man realized he truly loved her."

he stops moving you around, allowing you to pull back and stare at him. he swallows thickly, not wanting to lose you when he apologizes, "i'm sorry, i know i'm not the most....expressive man when it comes to showing you how much i love you."

"but just because i have a hard time saying it or expressing it, that doesn't mean i don't love you."

shoto tries not to blink, wanting to memorize your features as he framed at your face. "i love you, us coming together was the happiest moment of my life. yet i was always so nervous around you, always uncertain of how to show you my love when all i've ever known was my father's own cruelty to my mother."

he caresses your cheek then, making you sigh as you bring yourself closer to his touch, "but i want to try and do better for you. i want to try and show my own love for you without feeling so anxious all the time, afraid of messing up or-"

it's then that you finally respond to him, meeting his lips in a soft kiss that he gladly returned. shoto swore he would never forget how amazing it all felt, with your lips perfectly slanted against his own. your fingers delve into his soft strands of hair, making him dip your body forward as he continues to kiss you with all the passion he had for you.

after what seemed like an eternity, you both pull away from the kiss. it was now your turn to frame at his face, keeping him still as you allowed your lips the pleasure of kissing the soft skin of his forehead, "it's alright, my love-

we'll learn how to love together."

a.n. - please listen to [ love us again ] by joji.

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

[comfortscripts]

May I Have This Dance? ¬ Steve Rogers

Plot - After retiring his shield, Steve's partner realises that he seems to be missing something.

Requested? Yes/No

Genre - ☁️️Fluff ☁️️

Note/Warning - Steve didn't return to Peggy after Endgame (I refuse to accept that ending honestly), I think this is GN but please let me know if I have used fem!pronouns, also the reader wears a dress in this so if you are uncomfortable with that be aware.

Word Count - 1.7k

After your husband Steve retired from the superhero living, life seemed dull in his eyes. You could see that his once vibrant baby blues had lost their sparkle, their joy for life.

Whilst him having more time meant that your relationship thrived, Steve was missing something and you were missing him being truly happy.

It was Sunday and a rule of the Rogers relationship is that Sunday was an "Old School Day".

No technology, no going to the city and no current news or media of any kind.

It took a while to get use to but you soon learned to love it because it meant that you had the whole day with your soulmate, no distractions. But today was different, there was one thing that had taken up your entire focus all day.

A few days prior, you were in line at the supermarket when you spotted a flyer.

DANCE YOURSELF BACK TO THE 40s!

Have you ever wondered what a 40s dance was like?

Well if the answer is yes, get yourself down to the Michaelton Hall this Sunday at 7:30pm

The cashier was a motherly looking woman in her late 60s named Dorothy, her family had owned the supermarket here since the 1920s and being a cashier here was her first job. Twice a week she would come down and "relive her youth" as her husband always jokes.

"I thought that might catch your eye" Dorothy spoke after watching you inspect the flyer. "The old music, the clothes and just that feeling of a simpler time. I'm hoping to convince William to take me but getting him to dress up like a princess is more likely than getting him to dance."

You laugh at the woman's joke but mainly at the idea of William in a frilly dress. William and Dorothy had been married for 52 years but the only time William ever danced with her was on their wedding night, a story that you thought was sad but Dora took it in her stride.

"Well I am thinking that this might be a good way to get Steve out of his funk, even for only a night" You say with a wistful look on your face whilst piling fruit into your shopping bag.

"What a wonderful idea my dear!" Dorothy exclaimed whilst scanning the final item "There is a quaint little vintage store about half a mile out of town, I am sure you'd find a dress to knock Steve's socks off"

Smiling at the woman, you hand her some cash before taking one last look at the flyer "You are like a fairy godmother Dora. Have a lovely day and hopefully see you at the dance".

By the next morning, you were keen to start prepping for the Sunday surprise. Giving your husband a kiss goodbye, you headed off to 'run some errands'.

First stop was buying the tickets, then that left you with finding the perfect 40s dress.

You headed out of town to the vintage store Dorothy mentioned but you were not prepared for how beautiful the shop was. Flowers in corners all over the place, fairy-lights decorated the clothing racks and old pieces of sparkling jewellery was displayed throughout the store.

You could have spent hours in there, it felt like a visual time machine but it seemed luck was on your side. As you strolled further into the store, you noticed a stunning pastel floor-length satin dress with light embellishments near the sleeves. That was exactly what you needed.

Everything was ready. Tickets were bought, dress was found and Steve's old military suit was ready to be worn. All you had to do now was keep it from your husband till Sunday.

Making it to Sunday evening was difficult, you had nearly exposed the plans twice but thankfully Steve believed the excuses you came up with. But now it was time to get ready.

"My love, guess what I found the other day in the attic" You call out to your super-solider husband. "Your old army uniform. Perfect condition as well".

Handing the outfit to Steve, you see his eyes light up with the memories of his time back in the 1940s. Although he looked only slightly older than he did the last time he wore it, it was like looking back in time.

"Wow, I didn't think I would ever see this again." He spoke caressing the material.

"Steve, do you think you could maybe try it on again? I would love to have a glimpse of what use to be the fashion" You asked carefully, trying to make sure he didn't suspect anything else.

A small smile graced his face. "Of course, I probably would have wanted to try it on either way" And with a laugh, he headed upstairs to suit up.

Whilst the super-solider was getting ready, you slipped into your dress and quickly slipped on an oversized shirt which made it look like you were wearing a long skirt and t-shirt. Applying a bit of makeup before double checking that your purse was ready with the tickets, car keys and some other essentials.

Hearing footsteps descend your staircase, you turn around to a fully suited and confident looking Steve Rogers. This man has managed to make you fall more in love every day for the past 6 years but in this moment, he took your breath away.

"You look so handsome. How did I ever get lucky enough to call you my husband?" You express as you reach up to lay the corner of his collar down. Even though you compliment your husband all the time, Steve still flushes a bit red at the sweet words.

Leaning in to give him a small kiss, you suddenly remember that you are on a time constraint. You pull back with a mischievous grin dancing on your face.

"Oh no, I know that face. What have you done?" Steve asks with a little chuckle. Instead of responding, you grab his hand and head out to the car. After instructing him to get into the passenger seat, you settle yourself in the driver's seat and start the car whilst Steve sits beside you watching like he was trying to solve a puzzle - the puzzle being you.

"I have a surprise for you but I am going to need you to put this blindfold on whilst I drive us there" With a grin on your face and your hand offering a silk blue blindfold to your incredibly confused but handsome husband.

Cautiously Steve reaches for the blindfold and puts it on, he would trust you with his life so why not trust you with a small surprise.

After driving for 15 minutes or so, Steve feels the car stop and turn off.

"Wait one second" You say before he hears you open your door.

Bubbling with excitement you quickly discard of your t-shirt, place some kitten heels on and apply a sultry shade of red on your lips before throwing anything you don't need in the trunk.

Walking over to Steve's side of the car, you calm your nerves slightly with a deep breathe. Opening the passenger door, you take a hold of Steve's hand and carefully guide him towards the entrance of the hall.

Sounds of Moonlight Serenade songs fill his ears as he enters, still completely oblivious to his partner's scheme. He notices that it is far warmer in this area and that he can smell a mix of perfume and whiskey.

"Okay baby, when I count to 3, you can take off your blindfold" You finally say.

"1"

"2"

"3"

As Steve removes the silk blocking his vision and is immediately hit with a feeling of nostalgia. The hall looked like something out of his memories; men and women dressed in 40s fashion dancing the night away, a small band playing all the most popular songs from the decade he yearned for, men who reminded him of Bucky trying to pick up girls at the bar.

Steve thought that he was blown away until he saw his Y/N. The person who made life worth living, who made everything seem light again. There they stood, looking like they had just walked off the silver screen from an old movie. Steve never really believed that he could live such a happy life but somewhere along the way, he must have done something right because now he is married to an angel.

Walking up to you, he placed his hands on your waist and looked deep into your eyes. Drowning in Steve's ocean blue eyes was a favourite past-time of yours but this felt more than that.

"I noticed you have been a bit down since you gave up the shield and I couldn't see you frown anymore." You whisper quietly as if you were nervous that this plan wouldn't work.

"I know I say it constantly but I love you, Y/N Rogers. Your kindness, your care, your effortless beauty, you." Steve recited, filling every word with pure love and appreciation. "Sometimes I think that I am no one if I am not Captain America or I don't belong in this world but you. You, Y/N, you made me realise that you are my home, not the past. You are the only one I need in this life-time or any other life-time because you taught me who I am beyond the shield."

Tears start to well up in your eyes as you hang off his every word.

"This dance is amazing but what makes me happy is that I get to spend tonight and every night with my soulmate" Steve takes a step back and extends his hand. "So, may I have this dance my darling?"

Reaching for his hand, you make your way onto the dance floor amongst the other couples. As the song dies down, Stella by Frank Sinatra starts filling the hall with a romantic atmosphere and you feel Steve place his hand on your hip before placing another in your hand. This was truly a night to remember.

As you sway with your husband, you let your eyes wander to the other dancing couples and near the centre of the dance floor, you spot Dorothy and William smiling and swaying like teenagers again.

All you can do is hope that you and Steve will be dancing together when you are old and grey.

[milkybonya]

donut test me

order 017, anon: large honey milk tea with pudding for Junghwan

Warning: swimming/water mentions, food mentions, some angst

Summary: an enemies to lovers!au where Junghwan hates his swimmer!classmate who always skips out on phys.ed, not knowing that they do something else with that extra time. (p.s. i'm sorry if you can't swim or don't like water :( i tried to think of other things but this au was just,, not leaving my brain so please don't read if you think it will make you sad or anxious okay?? take care of yourself first!)

[a/n] hahaha get it donut test me like do not test me but donut cause Junghwan likes donuts.... okay i'm sorry bye T.T

Junghwan sits down with Jaehyuk as they eat ramen in Jaehyuk's room. Noticing Junghwan is shaking his leg and seems to have something to say, Jaehyuk encourages him to speak.

"It's just... so unfair!! Why do they always skip out on phys. ed when everyone else has to run laps and do push-ups and-"

Jaehyuk puts his chopsticks down with a sigh, startling the younger boy.

"How many times have we talked about this already? All you can talk about is this person and how much you hate their guts because they skip phys. ed... is it really that deep?"

Junghwan intakes a sharp breath of air.

"You just don't get it, okay! I'll eat somewhere else," Junghwan says, but the boy leaves his bowl of food behind and slams the front door, going on a walk.

Jaehyuk would follow behind him, but he can tell the boy needs some space to clear his head.

"I'll worry and call him if he's not home in an hour..." Jaehyuk says to himself.

Outside, Junghwan walks slowly, lost in his thoughts and trying to figure out his feelings.

When Junghwan switched schools and entered the school you had been attending, he didn't pay too much attention to you. All he knew was that you sat in the back, were quiet and often dozed off but still tried your best when you weren't asleep. You always wore a tracksuit jacket over your uniform and zipped it up all the way, playing with the zipper when you were lost in your thoughts.

Okay, so clearly Junghwan observed you a lot, but he couldn't help it! There was just something... different about you. And that annoyed him, which made you annoy him.

That's how his hatred for you began, which slowly grew and developed over time, especially when he noticed that you were never in phys.ed. That was his favourite class, and not being able to see you there, breaking a sweat like everyone else bothered him.

What made you so special that you could just skip out on phys. ed? He wondered this all the time and it made him hate you.

You were oblivious. All you knew was that this new kid was a jerk, always bumping into you purposely when you crossed paths in the hallways, always rolling his eyes at you, glaring at you when you weren't looking at him and then looking the other way when you caught him... he was weird. And rude. But you ignored him because you had better things to think about.

-

The next day, Junghwan wakes up knowing he's decided on a course of action. He'll follow you when you leave after your last class before phys.ed to see where the heck you go.

Smiling to himself as he eats his breakfast, he makes Jaehyuk, who shuffles into the kitchen sleepily to drink water, think that Junghwan has gotten over his hate for his classmate. Little does he know how very wrong he is.

At school, Junghwan does not take his eyes off you, not wanting to keep you out of his sight. You notice someone is staring at you all day, but shrug it off and continue on as you usually do, talking with your friends before and after classes, and doing your best to stay awake during them.

Before phys.ed, you leave the math class just like everyone else does, except you make a right instead of a left. Junghwan does not miss this and carefully follows after you. He watches you pull out a duffel bag from your locker.

Hm, with a bag like that, aren't they going to phys.ed? Junghwan asks himself.

But you then continue down the hall, further away from the gym. When you begin walking down a staircase, Junghwan thinks you might actually be walking to the gym, but again, on the ground floor, you walk in a completely different direction. He's completely puzzled until he notices you walking towards a door that teachers and students alike have told you to never enter. Seeing you open those doors and step inside so comfortably makes Junghwan want to call out and stop you out of fear you'll get hurt or in trouble, but he stops himself, wondering why he even cares about you.

The smell of chlorine fills the hallway, and Junghwan decides to follow after you, not wanting to lose you.

The chlorine stench is even stronger past the doors, and he can hear lockers slamming as you get changed - although Junghwan doesn't realize what's happening. He simply walks straight ahead, not knowing where he's going until he's reached the entrance of a whole swimming pool!

The water glistens before him, completely still. His mouth is agape - why is this pool off-limits?

He hears your footsteps and hides behind a rack of pool items, watching through the cracks as you walk to the edge of the pool, pat yourself down and jump in. It takes a few seconds before you surface, but as soon as you do, you begin to swim slowly.

Junghwan watches you swim lap after lap without stopping, amazed at your endurance and skill. His jaw drops as, after you rest and stretch out of the pool for a bit, you enter and begin sprinting to the other end, swimming so fast that the motion of your arms and legs are like a blur.

"So Junghwan, please report to the gym immediately. So Junghwan, please report to the gym immediately."

Junghwan looks up at the speaker where the P.A sound came from, sighs and quickly leaves the pool.

Just as you finish your last lap, you look up to see someone's back as they leave the pool, not knowing who it is.

-

"Junghwan, why did you skip phys.ed?! That's your favourite class, you never do that," Hyunsuk tells Junghwan as they sit in the school office side by side.

The school phoned Junghwan's dorm after he was absent for the first 30 minutes of class, and Hyunsuk came rushing to see what was happening.

"I'm so sorry, but Junghwan is never like this, and I promise that it will never happen again," Hyunsuk tells the admin in the office.

Junghwan winces at Hyunsuk's words, knowing that it will indeed happen again because... Junghwan wants to watch you swim again.

-

From then on, Junghwan makes 3 bathroom breaks every phys.ed class just to watch you swim. He tells him teacher he has a bladder problem - of course the teacher doesn't believe him, but knowing he's a good student, he lets him go anyway.

You start noticing Junghwan after some time but never approach him, wondering if he'll ever speak to you first. He never does, and you never have the energy to talk to him until one day when your condition is bad and you feel embarrassed that you're being watched.

You end your lap and hop out of the pool, staring straight ahead at the wall on the far side opposite you.

"Hey, come out. I know you're there," you say.

After a moment of total silence, you repeat it, but louder, until a shy Junghwan slowly shuffles out from behind the pool equipment rack.

"Why do you always come here and watch me swim?"

"I-I don't-"

You sigh, not wanting to hear a silly excuse.

"Listen I'm not going to scold you or anything cause I don't really care, but my condition is really bad today so I'm extra pissed," you say truthfully.

Junghwan stays silent before mumbling an apology.

You bite your lip while looking at him, then hop out of the pool.

"It's fine. Practice is over for me anyways," you say, but Junghwan notices that you're leaving the pool fifteen minutes earlier than you usually do.

-

On your way home that day, you feel a little bad. Things weren't going your way and you took it out on Junghwan... but then, why you care? He's always such a jerk to you and deserved it. Still, though, he looked like he really felt bad when you scolded him.

Yet you decide to treat him better if he shows up the next day.

Which he doesn't.

He doesn't show up the next day, or the day after that. You find yourself waiting for him, not being able to focus and checking the pool entrance nonstop. It frustrates you, as your practice time is being wasted. You're a swimmer preparing to join the junior national team, given time out of phys.ed to practice because the school doesn't have a swimming coach and they trust you to figure things out on your own.

Yet Junghwan is present at school - you see him at all of your other lockers. He doesn't follow you around or stare at you anymore, and it makes you angry.

As he's getting his things from his locker a few days later, you slam your fist on the locker next to his, making him jump.

"Where have you been?" you ask.

"What do you mean?" he asks back.

"You haven't been coming... to watch me anymore," you say, feeling embarrassed.

"Because you didn't want me to," Junghwan responds, laughing slightly. You don't know if he's laughing at your embarrassed state or laughing in a way where he's wondering why you would even dare to ask such a thing.

"I never said that. I just said my condition wasn't good that day," you say, truthfully.

Junghwan remains silent, staring into his locker.

You poke his shoulder.

"You better be there tomorrow," you say before walking away.

Junghwan smiles slightly when you turn your back on him, holding his arm in the spot you touched it.

-

"Junghwan!" you yell from the pool as he approaches sheepishly.

He awkwardly says hi and waves, not used to your excitement. To be honest, you aren't used to it either.

"Come closer," you tell him, and he meets you at the edge of the pool.

"Do you want to try it?" you ask.

"Try what?"

"Swimming."

He stays quiet, thinking it over in your head.

You point at him.

"You're wearing your phys.ed clothes already. Just come in in those," you say.

Junghwan flashes you an awkward smile and he leans to the side, showing he's still not sure.

"I'll help you," you say, smiling up at him.

"... okay," he finally agrees.

He enters through the shallow end of the pool, complaining about the cool temperature of the water as soon as he dips his toes in.

"It's really cold!" he yelps.

All of his squirming makes him lose his balance, and you reach out to hold his hand so he won't fall. Both of you are so focused on making sure Junghwan gets in the pool safely that you don't even pay attention to the skinship. Or your hearts that are racing so quickly because of it

"Careful, careful down the ladder," you say.

He winces as he gets lower in the water until eventually his feet touch the bottom. He giggles and it makes you smile.

"So... what do we do first?" he asks you.

"Well... learning how to float is the most important thing. The way I learned was, I laid on my back like a starfish and my teacher held me from underneath until eventually I could do it without them having to hold me.

"On my back? I'm a little scared," Junghwan admits.

"Look, I'll show you first," you say, floating on your back and demonstrating.

"You just make it look easy," Junghwan says with a pout, but you firmly shake your head.

He gives in with a sigh and leans backward on your hands which hold him up.

"Ahhh the water in my ears sounds so weird!" Junghwan points out, laughing widely.

"You're doing great," you mumble, smiling down at him and moving a strand of hair out of his eye.

His eyes look away and his hands turn into fists as he feels your touch. He feels... loved. And warm even though the pool is so cold.

"I'll move my hands away slightly, see if you can try to float. It's all about relaxing, trusting the water. Don't get tense and don't hold your breath," you say as you slowly move away your hands.

But Junghwan's body reflexively stiffens and he begins to sink until you quickly hold him up again.

"Are you okay?" you ask, your eyes wide with worry.

"Yeah... cause you're here," he says a little shyly.

After teaching a boy you previously disliked for no real reason how to kind of float in water, you realize that all of your practice time has gone to waste, so you quickly sprint a few laps to make up for it as Junghwan watches you from the deck. He dries off his hair as he does so.

-

The next day, you tell Junghwan to join you again, but he shakes his head.

"You need to focus on your swimming, [y/n]."

"But-"

"I'll only come in for five minutes if you can do 40 laps in 20 minutes," Junghwan says.

Before he even finishes his sentence, you dive in and swim at a steady pace to finish it in time, and of course you do. You are a hidden star athlete after all.

When Junghwan joins you this time, he fills the place with his laughter as he tries to chase after you while running in the water as you swim away.

"Please just let me get you once!" he begs.

So you run with him and you chase each other around the pool until Junghwan tells you your five minutes are up and you have to practice again. You catch him as he says this though, wrapping your arms around the boy's waste and making him blush and stop talking mid-sentence.

Every day passes just like that, with the two of you exchanging nothing but small smiles and nods in class, but spending phys.ed together in the pool, Junghwan cheering you on as you train and you doing your best.

"You'll watch me at my swim meet, right?" you always ask Junghwan as the date begins to near.

"You know I will," he tells you each time.

And when the day finally comes, he's there in the bleachers, watching you walk up standing tall and looking confident despite feeling like a nervous wreck inside. You search for his face and find him, smiling and sending you a small wave.

It's all you need to remind you to breathe as you step up on the block and await the cue to get ready, then go. You dive in smoothly, dolphin kick for as long and far as you can before surfacing and beginning to sprint.

Not focusing on any of the lanes around you, you give it your all and just enjoy the feeling of you moving swiftly through the water as Junghwan cheers you on, and boy does he cheer you on.

He yells so loudly that it drowns out everyone else, and after you touch the wall on your final lap and raise your head, you can hear his booming voice yelling that you've done a good job.

The scoreboard confirms this, as you've come in first, and all you can do it smile down at the water, knowing your hard work paid off.

From the bleachers, Junghwan is ecstatic that you've come in first. He keeps wanting to turn to everyone around him and tell them that you're his s/o and you came in first... but you're not his s/o and now he doesn't even know what's wrong with him - why does he want you to be his s/o? Wait... he wants you to be his s/o?

When you're able to meet Junghwan for dinner at a fast food place later - your first meeting outside of school - he seems dazed and nervous. You keep asking him if he's okay as he fidgets with his hands, and all he can say is 'yes'... but something is clearly on his mind. So you wait for him to speak up first instead, and he does.

"Listen, [y/n], I know this may be really weird because... we don't even properly know each other yet, and I'm worried I'll ruin our friendship if I say this and it doesn't go well but... it's taking over my mind and I can't just forget about it anymore. [y/n]... I've realized that I like you and I want to date you."

Your silence causes him to keep rambling.

"I want to call you mine... like even at the meet I just wanted to tell everyone that you're mine and you won but-"

You put a piece of chicken in his mouth and he blinks at you.

"Let me answer, dammit. Sure, I'll date you. As long as we get to see each other outside of phys.ed class and outside of school," you say, looking down and eating so Junghwan won't see your excited eyes.

Junghwan laughs, poking your knee with his finger under the table.

"Of course we'll see each other outside of phys.ed and school..." he says, giggling to himself with joy.

Later, when he tells Jaehyuk that he's dating the person who he hated for skipping phys.ed, you can bet Jaehyuk teases Junghwan to no end. Why? Because he saw this coming. Of course he'd fall for you, because Jaehyuk knows who you are. You're the school's star athlete, known for using phys.ed time to train. Of course innocent little Junghwan, who very rarely hates anyone, would end up falling for you, hard. And he does, of course.

[lilithissad]

𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭 𝘪 𝘮𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘭;

She sat comfortably on the toilet as her eyes reddened from how much she smoked, talking about anything and everything with the other girls.

she wore a grey sweatshirt, pulled loosely over her school uniform; thick black shoes stomping as she made her way into the stall. her voice pulled me in first, the slight rasp of weed with a bold yet soft tone. then it was the way she stood, how her hair looked, the beanie she can't live without, and finally the soft chuckle. I think that's what first got me; the laugh, then everything about her fell into place.

The stalls were a light-brown shade; coffee stains smeared against the outside of the doors, the scent of perfume and fruit candies floating throughout the girls' bathroom. I remember her striking conversation first. I wasn't sure why, but I thought it was cute.

"What do you like to do," she asked, leaning against the wall, "out of school I mean."

I looked at her puzzled, no one had ever asked me to talk about myself before. It's a feeling I would never get used to.

"Draw, I guess. Write, sing, watch anime, game," I listed them out one by one, having to think carefully about the words I say.

"You game?" she asked me, smiling softly. I simply nodded, returning the smile with my own.

I took in everything as soon as she looked away, the drugs finally getting into my system.

Weed was a beautiful thing, getting high and forgetting everything else existed; to live in one's brain. It pulled me out of the constant anxiety and in that moment, my body can find peace. She took that from me, my thoughts filling with her mere presence.

It was a simple crush. I wonder to myself why I reacted the way I did, the head banging against the coffee-stained stalls was my brain begging me to think about anything else. It was a simple attraction, a fascination. Though for some reason, I found myself looking for her in the bathroom stalls again, sitting nervously at the mere thought of being around her. She terrified me in the way no one else did, yet something about that enticed me.I'd always been good at reading people, I'd know immediately if someone wasn't okay with a single glance at their movements. It was like fire alarms ringing in my head; I noticed everything. Yet for her, I'd take one look and nothing came to mind. I didn't know how she was

I couldn't get her out of my mind for a week, she hadn't shown up to school for days though I never bothered to ask why. Soon enough, I used the spot to hide from potential mistakes–-the words I shouldn't say, the person I wanted to become– I used drugs to cope with who I was, ultimately broken. I'd lose focus on what hellish reality existed outside of the girl's bathroom; the one that was placed surrounding the math classes that were held at the time. But she showed up again, following behind someone walking into the bathroom stall.

Fascination grew like freshly bloomed carnations. All I could think about was her, the echoing voices that crowed the bathroom stall muted themselves and for that single moment, my utterly horrid day was quiet.

I tried to read her again, staring from my uncomfortable seat on the ugly school floor. It was probably my first mistake, the smile she held instantly dragged me in and I started to notice everything else she did.

It was the little things at first. From the way she'd listen intently to other people, to the nod she gave when she was pleasantly satisfied. It all came together like a huge force, I really liked her, and I didn't know what to do about it.

I thought of hypotheticals; a sea of daydreams rushing into my head. My imagination ran rampant as she talked, some unpleasant to say out loud, others were words I wish I could say and the things I could do to capture her gaze another time. But I simply couldn't. That was the person I wished I was, confident and unafraid of judgment. Her thoughts of me were all I could care about any moment she enters my field of vision. I dressed nicer, talked cuter, and smiled more. I would always wonder if I'd do too much–my entire life now fixated on a singular person.

She wasn't like that, I could tell. I feel too much and fall too quick; I hold no regard for what I do to hurt myself. My life isn't as important to care for–though that's simply how I think.

I didn't know much about her; granted, she never really talks about herself. All I knew was that she wasn't like me. I'd watch her walk away countless times, gotten texts that hurt me a little too much. But I wasn't hers, nor would I ever be. So I try too hard, following her where ever she goes in hopes of anything to ease the need for affirmation.

I'd always told myself that one day I'll fall and that it's inevitable. That the feelings of one-sidedness in every lovesick part of me will have the same feelings returned. I told myself that I'm worth loving, worth falling, and worth flying. But I continue to fall, deeper and deeper. The ache in my hurts the more I continue to fall.

The rues surround me, engulfing my senses in dread and anxiety. What if she didn't like me? What if she thinks I'm too much? The what-if questions circle my mind like the flowers themselves engulfing green fields with a yellow tone. A beautiful flower that could only hurt so much. It's selfish for her to be so warm, to put a smile on my face. Yet she, to me, was a flower nonetheless. And I adored flowers.

    A jungle of wildflowers surrounds me, the emotions I bare weigh too much, blooming endlessly like vines on abandoned brick. My garden's a mess. Yet, I still adore flowers. It was only supposed to be a small crush, one that feels like it'll last lifetimes.

Sometimes I wonder if we could be anything more, I'd imagine it in my head, dream endlessly about how it would feel. She was more than what I could ever be; she passed tests with eighties, talked so freely to the crowded group of girls, and had parts of her own future planned. She was a carnation, blooming in ways I would never know. I've lived, wilted, and was blown away by harsh winter winds–the satisfaction of the once soft petals I had shattered so long ago. While I endlessly run from the things that scare me most she pushed forward. Though there was something that scared me more than anything; that I would end up just being the girl she met in the bathroom stall.

[princess-of-inarizaki]

Happy Birthday, Kuroo Tetsurou!

Ahhh! It's my darling Kuroo-chan's birthday today, and in order to hype it up, I've been taking a small break from requests (I hope everyone understands) in order to post this

Kuroo has always been a character I greatly admire, not only because of his strikingly gorgeous visuals (I mean sorry mate, S4 Kuroo just reinvented the word "pretty"), but also because he's a massive nerd who manages to balance both sports, and studies, whilst being the hugest sweetheart ever.

I'm a total Oikawa kinnie, but sometimes, I find myself wishing I were more like Kuroo too.

Anyways, he deserves lots of love and appreciation, because albeit being fictional, he has brought so much comfort and love to the hearts of many, and he deserves to be celebrated.

I love you, Kuroo-chan <3

Sleeping over at his house.

Character: Kuroo

Warnings: none

Nekoma had just finished an extremely grueling practice session, and with the sky looking bleak and storm clouds threatening to pour, you hurried them to go home quickly.

“Guys, you need to go home! I don't want you caught up in the rain, so you'd better hurry.”

Yaku looked at you affectionately and ruffled your hair, leaving shortly after, and Lev and Fukuga ran out whilst screaming about something.

How chaotic, you thought fondly.

Kuroo walked over to you, concerned. He gently straightened your ponytail from behind and smiled.

“all better now, chibi-chan. Aren't you leaving too?”

You blushed. Although you were extremely close to everyone on the team, and it didn't affect you when the other members were affectionate with you, Kuroo seemed to always make your body heat up and your cheeks go warm, whenever he did the smallest of things.

“um yes, I'll be leaving now too”, you replied, softly, as you hitched your bag higher.

“Can I walk you home? I'd hate it if anything happened to our precious manager.”

You nodded silently, as Kuroo bid a quick goodbye to Kenma. That puzzled you. They always walked home together, but now Kuroo was leaving him just to walk you home?

“On second thought, you don't have to worry about me, Kuroo! I'll be fine. You and Kenma should walk home together.”

Kuroo pretended to not hear you and ruffled your hair, the same way Yaku did, pulling you along with him.

A few minutes later, you were in front of your house. You rang the doorbell, expecting your mother to be home, but only silence greeted you.

The storm clouds above grew darker with every passing minute, and Kuroo's concerned eyes were on you.

“is everything okay? Do you have a key?”

“no I don't” you confessed sadly.

You suddenly remembered that your parents wouldn't be home for the night as they've gone to visit someone, and would only be back the next morning.

They told you to take the house key in the morning, but because you were so frazzled and busy thinking about making breakfast for the team, it completely slipped your mind, all which you told Kuroo.

Kuroo immediately held your small hand in his huge one and pulled you along.

“you'll stay over with me, okay Chibi-chan?”

You wanted to refuse, seeing how you might be a burden to him, but you also knew Kuroo never made empty statements about things he didn't mean.

You gently rubbed the top of his hand with your thumb and smiled.

“thank you so much for the offer, Kuroo”

+.` |

You reached his house in a few minutes, and he opened the door, letting you go in first.

“my sister should be home soon, but you should take a shower and freshen up, Chibi-chan.”

You nodded quickly, immediately cheered up by the prospect of a hot shower, and walked into the bathroom Kuroo showed you to.

He gave you a pair of pants that belonged to his sister, and an unimaginably huge hoodie.

You kissed his cheek in thanks and closed the bathroom door, already begining to shower.

Kuroo blushed softly, as he sat by his desk and began doing chemistry homework to calm his nerves.

He thought you were beautiful, and as luck would have it, you were staying over. He didn't want you to feel uncomfortable, but at the same time, he hoped this would be a good opportunity to tell you how he felt.

His fingers touched the spot where your lips had kissed his cheek, and he smiled giddily.

Meanwhile, in the shower, you were singing and slowly cleaning yourself.

When you were done, you wore the clothes, but the hoodie seemed really big. Maybe Kuroo's sister likes wearing oversized clothing, you thought to yourself.

You walked out of the bathroom feeling much more cleaner and refreshed than before, as Kuroo saw you and his cheeks immediately went red.

“Is something wrong?” you asked tentatively, feeling awkward. Do I look bad? Is it my hair?

He shook his head, and took a few clothes from a drawer, silently walking to the bathroom to shower himself.

Once he was safely inside, he gasped. How did you manage to look so adorable in one of his hoodies like that? It was almost like it engulfed your tiny frame, and yet still kept you warm and cozy.

+.` |

A while later, you and Kuroo were cuddling whilst watching a movie on TV. Despite you refusing, he scooped you up in his arms, and that's how you were in his embrace, with a studio Ghibli original playing on screen.

Kuroo smiled, satisfied, as he saw your expression change with different parts of the movie, and his arms wound tighter around you.

He loved you, he really did, and he couldn't help but tip your chin to his face and look into your eyes with a deep and burning passion.

“chibi-chan, I love you.”

The movie played on, but you couldn't even focus. You only had eyes for Kuroo Tetsurou now, and in response to his confession, you gently kissed his lips.

He smiled into the kiss and continued, pulling the back of your head closer to him.

“I've been wanting to do that for the longest of times” he whispered softly as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, obviously feeling very satisfied with himself.

The two of you end up cuddling for a little while longer, just you in his arms, and him breathing in your addictive scent.

You eventually fell asleep in each others embrace.

.+` |

Kuroo woke up with a slight jolt. He heard a small noise come from below and saw you cuddled against his chest, turning in your sleep. Your hair was splayed over the couch and you had the most serene expression of peace on your face.

He thought you looked so beautiful.

Your hands suddenly seemed to be roaming around for something, as you groped the couch. You eventually found Kuroo's hand, and satisfied, you held his hand closer to you, sighing softly in your dream-like state.

Kuroo was ready to spontaneously combust. You were so adorable like that. He caressed your hair and whispered soft and sweet things into your ear,

“Chibi-chan, I've loved you since the moment I met you in third grade.”

“Oh shit, we forgot to have dinner. Nevermind, I'll cook you breakfast tomorrow.”

“i'll hold you tight and keep you warm, tonight”

As he smiled whilst rambling softly, his eyes began to close, and he was soon transported to the world of dreams, just like you were.

[spookymultimedia]

A Summer to Remember Ch4

CW: internalized homophobia

the f slur and queer used as a slur

[Ned Pov]

My eyes fluttered open to the sound of birds early in the morning. It was still dark outside. I looked down at Maude who was spooned into my arms. I recalled the conversation we had last night. As much as I wanted to hide from it, it was clear that I was homosexual. . .a queer. The word queer made me wince for some reason. I was gay, I was a gay man. It made too much sense. I bit my lip suddenly remembering something that happened in my youth. I remembered being in a group of.  . . secular non-Christian people. It was the early 70s and no one knew where I was. They didn't have to know. It was simple teen curiosity; there was a desire to explore the world that was kept away from me. Again, I always had an innate curiosity to understand. It's impossible for a person to be perfectly free from sin. It was only human nature to have sinful tendencies. What I'm trying to say is I tried marijuana. It wasn't that bad. I actually felt less stressed than I  usually was but let's not focus on that. There was this boy. This boy who was good with the guitar. He had long hair and wore blush from time to time. He called himself bisexual. I remembered how comfortable I had gotten with him one afternoon where we all were hanging out by a river. I remember the smoke and the lesbians who had made love in the shallow water. There were s'mores and homemade tea. By all logic I should have felt scared I was there; I wasn't. 

        I got up close to him by my own will, I remember. He asked me if I had ever kissed a boy before. I hadn't. He asked if I wanted to. Despite the quiet guilt in my soul I nodded. We kissed and kissed again and again until I got a hang of the rhythm. I liked it. The more I reflected on the memory, I remembered how much I enjoyed it. I stared at the window thinking while watching the warm glow of sunrise touch the curtains. I really am gay aren't I?

      I looked down when I felt Maude move and wake up. She stretched her arms and legs and blinked awake. She smiled at me, "Good morning." 

          "Mornin." 

She pressed a small kiss on my cheek and sat up. 

       "You don't have to do that kind of stuff to me if you're not comfortable." 

            "Hm? Oh. .I'm sorry it just felt natural I don't know. Are you uncomfortable?"

    "No, not at all. . .shouldn't I be uncomfortable?"She shrugged. "It doesn't mean anything inherently romantic to me. . .does that sound silly?" 

 I shook my head, "I don't think so. .but I get what you mean."

She rubbed her eyes and played with her hair. 

      "So. . when you said you where gay last night do you mean. .?"

         "That I'm a. . . lesbian? Yeah, yeah I think I'm a lesbian. Sounds right." 

  "That's just lovely Maude."

She frowned, "Is it? I. .thought it wasn't right to be. .-"

     I laid there thinking for a minute, "Is it really wrong?"

        "I'm not sure. . "

"It's just love. I can't see what's so wrong about it. . . Maude I. .I kissed a boy when I was younger." Why did I suddenly feel ashamed? It was just a kiss. Imagine what my uncle would say. He'd probably call me a f*gg*t or something. What would Reverend Lovejoy say? I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

     "Oh? Hm. . . was it nice?"

"Yeah. ." I stared at the wall again.

        "Are you going to tell them?"

"Me?"

    She nodded.

"I'm not sure. You?"

        "I'm too scared."

"I understand." I pet her upper back to comfort her.

[Maude pov]

      After breakfast we followed Tim and Helen led us to the Rock climbing area. There was this gigantic wall in front of us. It had multicolored rubber rocks that I adored. It wasn't my first rodeo with rock climbing. I had climbed with Ned plenty of times. I smiled up at them with anticipation. I had on some white tee from a church event and

jean shorts that reached my knees.

"Now this exercise is supposed to encourage teamwork and support in each other. When this world brings you down you need to have someone to encourage you." Helen explained as Timothy put on a harness. Helen looked at me puzzled as I put on one myself.

        "What? It's not on backwards is it?"

"Oh, no it's just that. . ." She trailed off looking at my harness. She bit her lip lightly for a second before her concentration quickly returned. "Well I was going to have Ned climbing the wall but that's fine that works. . .Maude, are you sure you can?"

      "I've done this many times." I smiled and laughed. 

"Oh. Okay." She said a bit surprised.

Was it just me or did she blush? Was she checking me out. . .? No, no it had to be my imagination. I dismissed any other possibility of why she looked at me like that.

      Once me and Tim were set up we started our climb. I made a speedy start grabbing onto each rock I saw available. It was fairly easy. I made a mental note of the colors. I loved them. Red pink yellow pink orange red blue green red turquoise. I focused on the rocks and moving.

  "You got this Maude!" Ned cheered. I smiled and kept on climbing. I glanced over at Timothy who was only a couple feet from the ground. It seemed I had more upper arm strength than him. I wouldn't have guessed. 

    "I believe in you Timothy! You're doing great. One at a time." Helen cheered, encouraging him. God bless her, she's so sweet. He nodded and slowly found himself a bit higher. At some point I got stuck. 

     "Go left, use your legs!" Ned coached. I nodded and did as he advised. Tim had caught up with me before I made my way ahead of him again. Before I knew it I was at the very top. 

I sat on the wall and smiled as Ned clapped for me. Helen was clapping too. So cute of her. I stared out at the trees and the shimmering lake as Tim was making the rest of his way up. Do I like Helen? I asked myself. Of course I did, she's been my best friend for years. But, Ned was also mine for longer. Yet, something in her sparkled that hadn't in Ned. Every time I had saw her, things we're better. I felt . .giddy. Oh. . .oh. I do love her. I love her more than anything. My chest had ached. Oh God, I love her. 

   "I'm so proud of you!" I looked down at Helen who was cheering at her husband who loved her too. She loved him. She loves him, not me. She's straight, I think. It didn't matter anyways. I sighed. Still I couldn't help but smile. I was in love and couldn't do anything about it. I wonder how Ned was coping with this yearning. I then faced the wall and quickly leaped my way down. With gravity and my emotions taking over me I couldn't help but laugh. I landed on the ground giggling. "That was fun." I snorted and covered my mouth blushing. But then she laughed too. "Oh Maude, that's adorable." She put an arm around my shoulder. Oh God I could kiss her right now. She's so close yet so far from reach. So I just stood there blushing and smiling. Tim slowly but surely came down with a bit of a dizzy stumble. Ned was close and caught him. For a moment the two men were arm in arm. Tim smiled bashfully and a tad embarrassed. 

       "Thanks." 

    Ned stared at him a moment before helping him stand-up straight. "You did great, Reverend." Neddy said smiling. The poor thing. He must feel the same ache in his soul. He has to. 

[Ned pov]

          Later that day I found Timothy by the river. He was just sitting there watching it flow. I had to ask. I needed to know what he thought on the matter. Despite everything, I felt in my soul it was right and only natural. But I just needed to know. You always need to know, it'll be death of you, Ned. I sighed and walked up to him before sitting by him on the grass by the sore. "Hi Reverend."

      "Ned, we're friends, you can just call me Timothy. Really I insist."

         "Of course. Timothy," his name was so intense. Calling him by his name was so tender and intimate it almost felt wrong. "I wanted to talk to you about something. Well, I at least wanted to hear your thoughts on the matter."

         "What is it?" He looked at me slightly exhausted. I felt a pang of guilt. He probably wanted a break from being asked things everyday. It had to be exhausting. But I needed to know. I knew it was important.

    "What do you think about homosexuality?"

                   "Hmm. . ." He hummed and looked out on the lake. "Sexual deviance isn't a good thing."

      "Deviance?" I felt a bit hurt. Was it really cheating if my wife knew how I felt. I mean, it would be if I kissed a married man. I wanted to kiss a married man. Am I lusting? Is this sin? The homosexuality couldn't be though. "Is it really deviance??"

    Tim paused to think again. "Well. Hm. There are some verses-"

            "I know, I've heard about them. But I don't think they're talking about homosexuality. It could be just an error. It could be referring to a completely different sin. But if you don't mind my boldness Reverend, I really don't think it's a sin at all."

     He nodded slowly, pensive. 

"There are verses that have forbidden the consumption of some meats that were unsafe at the time. . .hmm. That's not a sin at all anymore. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding. Prophets are still human after all." He stared at the water. "I suppose homosexuality isn't so bad. Why, it's not bad at all. I mean everyone feels sexuality . . .right?" He looked a bit confused. I wasn't sure why. Was he gay? No. . . was he?

          "I believe so."

He stared at the water thinking, I assume. I looked at those hands that tempted me. Guilt was burning me alive. 

      "Timothy I've been sinning!"

He looked at me startled at my outburst. 

      "Ned. . Ned, why are you asking me about this? Is. .this why you and Maude are having issues? Are you gay?"

I froze.

        "Ned you said it yourself and I agree, I don't think homosexuality is a legit sin."

"No. I mean, no that's not the issue." I felt my eyes water. 

"Ned. ."

        "I've been lusting after a married man! That's a sin!"

       "Ned. . .are you talking about me? Do you like me that way?" His eyes were wide. 

       "I do." I started to cry. 

"Why are you crying?"

         I looked at him like he was absurd. 

       "It's lusting!"

"Eh, well. You're not acting on it. I'm sure the Lord understands your intentions and will forgive them."

     I shrugged, "I understand if you're uncomfortable. ."

         "Not really. Don't worry about it."

"I just don't want to ruin anything."

          "I understand."

"How long have you felt like this?"

                   "I . .I don't know. Maybe I was born like this." 

      "Born??" He looked confused.

"Well not literally. I mean. I've just always liked men." I rubbed my arm anxiously. I was still trying to make peace with myself.

     Timothy stared at the ground, his eyes furrowed.

 "Like them?"

           "Yeah. Like I've just always wanted to.  . .kiss them and stuff. You know?"

 He slowly shook his head looking a bit lost.

   "I don't understand."

I suddenly felt sick. Did he think my attraction was that weird?

       "It's just the same feeling that you get  with women."

    He fiddled with his hands. He looked really uncomfortable.

    "What's wrong? Is it me?"

"No it's not you.  You're fine Ned I promise. I'm glad you decided to come to me about this." He closed his eyes and bit at his finger gingerly. I had seen him do this a couple times. It was usually when he got stressed or something. "Does Maude know?"

"Yeah. She took it well." 

        "Good." He stood up and walked off.

[prettyblfan]

Coffee Shop Boy

Chapter Two

~

Just as he thought by the time he had finished his shift and set off for school Sorawit managed to completely forget about his encounter with very mysterious That.

~

As he walked into his classroom he instantly locked eyes with his best friend Nam. Despite only being in Viangpa Mork for only 3 months him and Nam seemed to connect instantly, she practically took Sorawit under her wing because he was too gullible for his own good. During his first week of school some boys in their class convinced him that the girls toilet was actually the boys toilet, ever since then she's felt very protective over him. However, this was practically the same for Sorawit after all Nam was pretty, popular and funny a complete package so he felt like if was his job to protect from all the shameless creeps that through themselves at her.

Sorawit pulled out his seat next to Nam and smiled,

"Have you done the maths homework" he cheekily asked putting on his sweetest voice. He plan to do it this morning but all the customers decided to pack in all at once so in the end he didn't have any time to finish it.

"No, I though you would do it! that's why I didn't bother" Nam said pulling a pout while she flopped onto the desk in front of her.

"Ahh, why don't you ask one of the multiple guys who have a crush on you" Sorawit responded, despite how calm they both seemed the end result of not handing in homework was quite harsh. They'd get one or two whole weeks of detention. As they went to a very high ranked and respected school it was only natural that standards were set to such a high level, but regardless they couldn't help but think it was stupid.

"No way, they always end up expecting soo much more in return, i can't handle the entitlement." Nam said dryly her voice dripping with disgust.

Sorawit knew exactly what she meant, whenever she'd show the smallest bit of kindest or even ask for a favour they always seemed to think that they deserved something in return. And that something was her body. In alot of situations although Sorawit couldn't fight he'd end up stepping in and trying to protect her.

"Umm, I guess we'll just have to settle for one week of detention then." Sorawit laughed after all his friend's safety was his top priority.

Just as both Nam and Sorawit were prepared to accept their fate one of the girls in their class came in yelling,

"Miss Jane isn't in."

It was this one line that seemed to save their lives, miss Jane was their maths and foreign language teacher as well as a tutor at the school. She was only strict because wanted the best for them but sometimes she could really be too ruthless.

As they no longer had a teacher for two of their lesson both Nam and Sorawit messed about, joking and talking the entire time.

For Sorawit the rest of the day went by without a hitch.

~

By the end of school Sorawit felt like death, maybe waking up at 3 am wasn't going to work for him. As he almost feel asleep against his bike Nam flicked his head.

"Are you gonna give me a ride home today or not" Nam said impatiently as she hopped onto the back of his bike (Sorawit is too much of a soft boy to be riding round on a motorbike, so he has a bicycle a yellow one at that).

Before Sorawit could respond the most obnoxious sounding voice echoed out.

"Nam!"

Standing at the gate was a couple of boys probably a year older than them. They were all in Sorawit's eyes dressed like gangsters, their pants were unnecessarily low and they all opted for darker colours (yes this is what gangsters look like in Sorawit's mind, maybe mine too). The one that called out to Nam was tall but not that handsome the only thing that stood out about him was the polished black motorcycle next to him.

Sorawit looked at Nam puzzled.

"It's a long story, just ignore them." Nam said urging Sorawit to hurry up.

Sorawit despite being known for not being very quick witted caught on quite fast, this must be one of Nam's countless admirers.

He pulled Nam along on his adorable yellow bike and although others may not not agree with him, Nam in fact said it was too girly. Regardless Sorawit didn't see anything wrong with it. It was just the right amount of cute, the yellow made it stand out and the small daisies dotted about the bike made it even more pefect in Sorawit's eyes.

As they approached the gates they were quickly blocked, just as Sorawit had expected. However, Sorawit knew for a fact they wouldn't try anything as long as they were on school property, but unfortunately he couldn't say the same for when they had left.

"Nam let's hang out today, on me" he said eying her up and down.

"Pong, I remember telling you I was busy when you asked me yesterday." She replied obviously not interested in hanging out with him at all.

"What, busy hanging out with this loser instead." The guy now known as Pong spoke sizing up Sorawit. Eventhough he was tall Sorawit was indeed 100% bone.

"Pong." Nam warned, it was quite clear that she had enough, half because she knew that this would end alot worse for Sorawit than for her. And the other half was tired of guys constantly thinking she was interested in them.

"Nam, what does he have that I dont." Pong paused briefly looking at Sorawit before bring his eyes back to Nam.

"Now don't be stupid."

It was that line that made Sorawit snap.

"Her not wanting to hang out with you isn't being stupid." He said standing tall trying to make himself appear as tough as possible.

"What?" Pong replied before laughing along with the rest of his friends, they all looked completely amused.

Nam quickly sensed things were going to take a turn for the worst if things continued going the way that they were.

"Pong I'm seriously busy today I have a bunch of work to catch up on, I have alot more time on the weekend let's hang out then" she spoke alot softer.

"Huh, fine." Pond said a lot calmer now maybe because Nam was being a lot more docile or because a teacher was approaching.

~

The whole situation was over rather quickly after that, Pong and his group of friends had left before the teacher arrived and Nam had explained to that said teacher that the whole thing was a misunderstanding.

Sorawit was now sitting in the Pink Lilly attempting to complete his homework as the staff around him began to prepare for the evening shift. He was thinking about the conversation that he had with Nam while he was taking her home.

She said playing along was always the safer options especially with guys like that.

It made him worry to the point he had to convince her not to go and see him on the weekend.

"What's wrong you're pulling a pout." Ploy said squeezing his cheeks with a soft smile.

Ploy was a University student in her 20s that worked at the Pink Lily part time, she was kind and energetic but she was always in other peoples business.

"Umm I'm fine" Sorawit mumbled out before resuming his homework that he had been neglecting for the past half hour.

Before Ploy could prod for more information, Bun had stormed and was clearly in a mood. A way worse one than usual.

"Who does he think he is?" Fuming Bun slammed his hand down on the front counter.

"Why do handsome men think its okay to be so arrogant" Bun continued to rant furiously.

"P'Bun????" Sorawit called utterly confused, who could have made him so angry.

"Bun, what's wrong?" Ploy also questioned after all seeing her boss this angry was rare.

"Huh, what's wrong. You won't believe what happened today!" Bun responded quickly pulling out a seat. Finally seeming to calm down he recited what took place earlier today.

Bun had gone into work for his regular morning shift at 3am hence why he wasn't there to help ease Sorawit into his first shift. But the real trouble began after his long lunch break around 4ish when a young man was rushed in with a bullet wound, Bun was assigned to treat him. So naturally once he heard the man was accompanied by two other men he had quickly gone to question them after all bullet wounds weren't very common in Viangpa Mork. When he had confronted them he was ridiculed and mocked (more so softly teased, but okay Bun. I'll have to make a special chapter about their first meeting after all this is a That x Sorawit centered story) by a tall well dressed handsome man which only pissed him off more. He'd come to know that the arrogantly handsome man was Tan.

In his 3 months in Viangpa Mork he had only heard from other residents that Tan was one of the many sons of a very affluent family that owned multiple business in the city, and he had been doing a lot of work out here recently.

But the icing on the cake for Bun was that everyone loved him, not the police nor a single soul had come to question them or see what was going on. The whole situation was perfectly swept under the rug.

Bun had finished his story with a huff, just retelling it had seemed to annoy him.

"Wow, i mean it is expected after all rumour is that their family does dabble in..." Ploy trailed off unsure if she should finish her sentence. Tan and his family were doing way more for Viangpa Mork than the governor, in the past couple years their investments had gotten them things they never thought they'd see. Like new school buildings and more focus placed on education. They had even gotten Ploy into university through their Helping the Youth fund before that she never thought she would even have the opportunity to go.

"In what?" Sorawit asked, he hadn't been able to catch onto what she was implying like Bun had.

"Never you mind, my shift starts now so I'll see you later" Ploy wore a light smile before returning to work.

Bun had assumed it would have been something like that but he really thought Viangpa Mork was a quite and unproblematic town.

"Ah, Sorawit how was your shift this morning" Bun asked realising that he had been to caught up in himself to ask.

"It was fine but," it was at this moment that Sorawit had remembered his encounter with That.

"But what?" Bun said urging him to continue.

So, for the remainder of the evening shift until the start of the late evening shift Sorawit proceed to tell Bun about the oh so mysterious That. Although he sub consciously left out his heart pains and stomach twists that he felt around the boy, the rest of the story was relayed exactly as it happened.

After he had finished Bun had agreed the boy was strange and that in future he should try to keep his distance.

~

Sorawit had quickly retired for the night after he had finished talking to Bun feeling completely exhausted.

As he laid in bed,

When he was just about to fall asleep for a split second the very mysterious That flashed across his mind.

Regardless of what Bun had said earlier a part of him couldn't help but hope that just maybe he would see him again.

~

At last I have done, I hope you like this chapter. Cause i really do.

Oof my hate for men really showed at Nam's part, but do not worry I shall not allow for creepy old men or men at that to get their hands on her.

Any way onto the next chapter! That visiting his favourite coffee boy once again.

Again not proof read cause I live on the edge.

[emachinescat]

The Rich Girl Next Girl (Just Tried to Kill Me)

A Psych Fan-Fiction

By @emachinescat ​

@febuwhump ​ day 7 - poisoning 

Summary: Shawn will never complain about being ‘barely poisoned’ again after he’s ‘fully poisoned’ by a woman he’s investigating - via her poisoned lipstick and an non-consensual kiss.

Characters | Pairings: Shawn, Juliet, Henry, Gus, Lassie | Shawn/Juliet

Words: 3,199

TW: non-consensual kiss

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging! :)

It was the beautiful ones you had to watch out for.  

She was tall and dark haired, with green eyes that twinkled like twin emeralds, and high cheekbones and plump lips colored with the most devastating red Shawn Spencer had ever laid eyes on.  She had squeezed into a tiny black dress with an open back and plunging neckline, with legs that seemed like they would go on forever.  She wore closed-toe, diamond-studded, four-inch heels that perfectly matched the color of her lips.  

Somehow Shawn had managed to charm her into asking him to be her date to a charity gala at the Santa Barbara Museum of Art, and he was very well aware of the many eyes on him as he moved through the crowd with her on his arm.

Well.  It would be more accurate to say that he was on her arm, because she was most definitely in charge, had been from the moment she’d picked him up her limo and she’d already had another, better tux waiting and pressed for him - and had refused to let him in the car until he’d made the switch.

She wasn’t only a total knockout, though - she was also a local celebrity, a socialite, born into enormous wealth but not the heir to the bulk of her late parents’ fortune.  That honor went to her older sister, who had, just a week ago, gotten into a terrible accident on her yacht.  Part of her had been recovered on the deck after the explosion.  The Coast Guard were still looking for the other part in the ocean.  They weren’t optimistic.

So now Aria Thorton, the twenty-seven-year-old millionaire goddess, was Shawn’s date to a high-end charity event, and they were the center of attention.  

Shawn should have been in heaven.

There were three things that dampened the occasion, though - for one, she thought he was a billionaire from two counties over named Chaz Hemsworth (no relation to Chris or Liam, but his rugged good looks and fabulous hair had made many people think he was).  

Then there was the fact that she was the SPBD’s number one suspect in her sister’s supposed-accident-but-Shawn-had-revealed-that-it-was-murder-yet-again case.  Hence, why she thought he was Chaz - he was undercover with the help of the police department, much to the chagrin of Lassie and Jules, because he was the best person for the job.  (Well, he had barged into the case and presented himself as Chaz Hemsworth, and she had been interested, and now he was the best chance they had since he was already on the inside and it was a time-sensitive case - just like he’d planned it).  

Oh, and the third thing was definitely the worst of them all: His actual girlfriend, the aforementioned Jules, was here too, acting as Lassiter’s date and ready to provide backup.  And she was pissed.  

Shawn forced himself to focus on the case, though.  Technically, he’d already solved it, put all the final puzzle pieces together, just half an hour before the gala.  But by that time, she was already at the luxury hotel the SBPD had reluctantly put him in as part of his cover (“Any snacks or room service ordered will be paid for by you, Mr. Spencer, not this department,” Chief Vick had warned with that iconic raised eyebrow of hers.  And no, she wasn’t going to sink funds into a ticket for Mr. Guster - Shawn had thrown himself into this investigation alone, so Gus would just have to sit this one out.  Needless to say, Gus had not been pleased.).  

Now, there were just a few more loose ends to tie, a few more t’s to cross and i’s to dot and little squiggly fancy things to add to capital S’s - namely, he needed to do the reveal.  And since Lassie and Jules would be at the gala anyway, it would be the perfect time to do the reveal (and he’d get to live it up as a male socialite for a few more hours).

He waited until he’d tested all the hors dourves (Why the hell had no one told him caviar was fish eggs and not really fancy boba, and that it did not taste good in even the fanciest of cocktails?), but as soon as the moment was perfect, he called everyone’s attention to him by accidentally-on-purpose smashing his cocktail glass with a knife a la the Princess Diaries, jumped onto the nearest table, and presented his case.

As he revealed the truth of the tragic death of Selena Thornton, and how her sister had taken freaking Skill Share lessons on yacht safety procedures so that she could backwards engineer them to arrange an accident for her sister and swoop up her portion of the inheritance, he noticed something odd - Aria didn’t try to get up, she didn’t argue or yell something like, “That’s ridiculous!” or “You have no proof!” or even “I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for you muddling, hunky psychic!”  Instead, she opened her shimmering handbag, calmly applied some sort of thick balm to her lips.  Then she pulled out her lipstick and reapplied it.  Maybe if Shawn hadn’t been so focused on his wrap-up, he would have noticed that the lipstick was the same shade, but that it came from a different tube than when she’d reapplied earlier.  Later, in his hospital bed, he would kick himself for missing that tiny, crucial detail.

He finished by announcing, “And remember, folks - this murder reveal was brought to you by Skill Share.”

And then he was getting off the table, and Jules was preparing the cuffs while Lassie held Aria, and the rest of the rich guests were sitting in stunned silence or otherwise whispering among themselves, already spreading the gossip for the next Tabloid, he was sure.  Then, out of nowhere, the formerly docile homicidal heiress lashed out, slamming the pointed heel of her left shoe - it looked like the heel had been shoved into a pencil sharpener - into the top of Lassie’s foot, buried the elbow of her perfectly tanned right arm into Juliet’s stomach, and broke away from the detectives.

Shawn thought she would turn tail and run, try to escape, but to his shock (and confusion), she lunged straight for him, zooming forward in those ridiculous heels with a speed and grace Shawn couldn’t even achieve with sneakers.  He braced himself for an attack, got ready to defend himself, even as Lassie and Jules recovered and dove for the sabotaging socialite.

They were too late.

What happened next was the literal opposite of what Shawn had anticipated.  She crushed her body into his, grabbed his face the way they do in every rom com ever, and pressed her lips against his in a kind of tender but still somehow aggressive kiss.

For a moment, he stood in shock, trying to process what the hell was happening.  Was she glad he’d caught her?  Did she look forward to being stripped of her wealth and going to prison for life?

Then he realized that as pleasant as her soft lips were against his, he had not authorized this transaction, and even though she was a rich, drop-dead gorgeous socialite, she was also a sister-killer, and his girlfriend whom he loved very much was watching, and he pulled back.  She held on, forcing her lips on his even as he tried to squirm away from her touch.  Her expertly manicured fingernails dug into his skin, and left scratches on the side of his neck when Lassie and Jules dragged her off of him.

Shawn stumbled back, neck stinging where she’d scratched him, lips tingling where she’d kissed him.  He could taste her lipstick - it didn’t taste like cherries like he’d thought.  It didn’t taste good at all.  He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and spun on Aria Thorton, who was now being wrestled into cuffs and passed off to waiting police officers.  “Hey, I know I’m irresistible,” he said, trying to fight off his growing discomfort at the kiss - any other time, he’d probably be thrilled to have a beautiful woman throw herself at him and surprise him with an attack-kiss, “but I’ve got a girlfriend.  And she’s way more hot and bad-ass than a homi-sister like you.”

Jules turned to him and there was a little smile on her face that told him maybe he wasn't as deep in the doghouse as he'd thought.  “Homi-sister?”  

“Yeah,” said Shawn, rubbing absently at his chest.  He needed to change out of this tux.  It was too hot, and it was too tight.  “Sister-murderer.  Like homicide, but for sisters.”

“Sororicide,” Lassiter corrected.  

“I’m sorry, Lassie, when did you take on the role of Scooby Doo?  I can only keep up with one fictional dog at a time, man.”  Beads of sweat popped up on his forehead.  A muscle twitched in his upper arm.

“It’s the actual term for killing one’s sister,” Lassie sneered derisively.

Shawn opened his mouth to retort, but he coughed instead.   And suddenly he couldn't stop coughing, and his chest was being squeezed, and the muscle in his arm jumped again, this time painfully, and he promptly deposited a disgusting mixture of fourteen varieties of hors dourves on Lassiter’s shoes.  A strong hand grabbed his upper arm and kept him semi-upright even as Lassiter groaned, “These are $400 loafers, and they’re rentals!”

“Shawn!”  Juliet’s face had gone white, Shawn noticed through tears and haze as she surged forward and gently lifted his chin with her delicate hand.  

He struggled to answer her, but his chest was so tight, and his left calf muscle contracted then, and all that came out was a strangled cry of pain.

“Call an ambulance - now!”  Lassiter’s voice was far away, though Shawn could have sworn that the head detective was standing right by his side, keeping him from face-planting in his own caviar and cocktail sludge.

Vaguely, over the sound of screams and murmurs and cries of alarm, he heard Juliet’s voice, scarier than he’d ever heard it before - he’d never been so convinced she was about to murder someone before - growl, “What did you do to him?”

He never got the chance to hear if Aria Thornton gave up her dark little secret.  His eyes rolled up into his head, and, muscles twitching and lungs scrambling for air, he passed out.

***

He woke up to pain.

It was a slow process, getting his eyelids to cooperate, but he could feel a soft hand in his, and he would know it anywhere, and someone was crying.

When his vision had cleared enough for him to make out more than just blobs of color, he saw Juliet sitting slumped in a hard plastic chair by his bedside.  Sure enough, it was her hand in his.  But she was fast asleep, her neck crooked back at an awkward angle and small, adorable snores wafting out of her slightly parted lips.  So it wasn’t her who was crying.

His gaze dragged languidly to the right, and everything made sense.  Gus was in the chair next to her, quietly sobbing into his hands.  Poor bastard.  

Shawn spoke, his voice raw and trembling and the effort seemed to squeeze every bit of air out of his already starved lungs.  “G-Gus?”

Gus’s head snapped up, he leaped out of his chair, and in a loud voice reminiscent to an all-black hallelujah choir, he exclaimed, “Shawn!”

Juliet startled awake, her hand instinctively squeezing his, and he saw the worry in her stormy blue eyes as soon as they landed on him.  She smoothed his sweaty hair from his forehead.  “Thank God you’re awake.  How are you feeling?”

Shawn didn’t answer immediately, but let his eyes wander around the room, confirming what he already knew.  He was in a hospital - a private room - and there was a heart monitor beeping above him and an IV lead ran from his hand to a pole, where two different bags were feeding his veins with who knew what.  He took a moment to remember what had happened and shuddered internally when he thought of the kiss of death.  

It took everything he had in him to speak again, but he had to know where he stood, “S-so, more than b-barely poisoned this time?”

Juliet laughed, a short, manic sound of mingled relief and exasperation.  “Yeah, a lot more than barely,” she agreed.

Shawn didn’t get to enjoy his moment of validation, because his left pectoral muscle spasmed, knocking the air out of his lungs and sending bolts of agony through his chest.  It was like the muscle was twisting itself into the most complex pretzel known to man.  An agonized guuuh burst from his mouth and he grasped at his chest, as if trying to tear the pain away.

Gus was panicking now, tears still streaming down his face, and Jules looked stricken.  Shawn was certain he was actively dying now and tried to call for help.  The door to his room burst open and distantly, beneath the mound of pain that had erupted in his muscle, he heard his father’s voice.

“Jules - it looks like it’s his chest.  Massage it.  Remember, small, gentle circles.  Gus, pull it together, you’re just making him panic.”  And then he could feel Jules gently massaging the screaming muscle, and Gus hiccuped into relative silence, and his father was there, seated in a chair on the other side of the bed.  He grabbed Shawn’s hand - the one with the IV - and for a wild moment, Shawn was convinced his father was going to rip it out like he had the last time his son had been poisoned.

But instead, he held on firmly to Shawn’s hand and said, “Squeeze as hard as you need to, pal.  Ride it out.  It’ll be over soon.”

The heart monitor was screeching now, and a nurse ran in just as the spasm was beginning to ebb, leaving the entire muscle feeling weak and squishy like play-doh.  She injected something into one of Shawn’s IV bags and checked his temperature and fed him ice chips and told him to try to rest and be patient, that it wouldn’t be long until the spasms would stop.  She might have told him her name at some point, but he didn’t hear.

Whatever she’d given him made him sleepy, and he felt his twitching, tense muscles relax the tiniest of fractions, and the last thing he saw before falling asleep was his father’s face leaning over him.  He must have been hallucinating, because he could have sworn that his father’s eyes were red and puffy and that there were tear-tracks down his face.

***

The next time Shawn woke up, he was still sore, and his muscles still gave the occasional, defiant twitch, but he wasn’t in blood-curdling agony anymore, so it was a definite improvement.  This time when he woke, no one was crying, and his dad had washed his face, but his eyes were still rimmed with red.

“What happened to me?” Shawn asked, his voice weaker than he could ever remember.  “What the hell was in that lipstick?”

His dad chuckled humorlessly, not because anything was funny but because it wasn’t crying.  “You figured out it was the lipstick, then?”

“I’m psychic, dad, remember?”  Shawn had put the pieces together the first time he’d woken up, but he’d been too out of it to realize he’d made the connection.

Henry didn’t dignify that with a response.

“I can’t believe you went to a millionaire’s gala and almost died, Shawn!” Gus chided irritably.  “If I had been there -”

“You would have hyperventilated and passed out on your plate of hor dourves,” Henry finished dryly, and Shawn couldn’t help but grin.

Juliet was the one who brought the conversation back around to his question.  “She refused to talk, so we took her purse and had her fingernail polish, lip balm, and lipstick tested for toxins,” she informed him.  “We thought that she might have done it when she scratched you, but it was the lipstick that was poisoned.  The lip balm was actually a protective buffer between her lips and the lipstick so that the poison wouldn’t reach her skin.”  With a heavy sigh, Juliet revealed, “It was VX poison.”

“What’s that?” Shawn asked.  “It sounds like something from a spy thriller.”

“It’s a nerve agent,” Gus supplied.  “It can be made into gas, but it’s base form is about the consistency of gasoline.  It’s super fast-acting, especially when inhaled or ingested, even in small amounts like with you, and it causes muscle spasms, respiratory issues, nausea, headaches, fever, and a whole lot of other nasty symptoms.”

“But there’s a cure?”

“Atropine and pralidoxime,” Gus answered promptly, and Shawn resisted the very strong urge to tell his best friend to, for the love of every 80s movie they’d ever loved, get a hobby.  “Both were administered the second the results came back.  It was a close call, but thankfully they were administered on time - though it was touch and go for a bit.  The nurse gave you another dose of a muscle relaxer the first time you woke up.  The other drip is saline.”

“I guess the real question is how the psychotic rich girl next door got ahold of poison like that in the first place,” Shawn muttered, head swimming and eyes burning and body feeling like it had been run over by a monster truck.

Juliet answered promptly: “Lassiter was finally able to crack her.  Turns out she’s also got some contacts in the black market.  She had that tube of lipstick custom-made and infused with VX two years ago in case any of her many boyfriends cheated on her.  Surprisingly, she hadn’t used it until you came along, but when you exposed the truth, it was her way of getting revenge.   She knew there was no way she was going to be able to escape, so she decided to take you down with her.”

“Damn,” said Shawn, faintly.  He was drifting off again, but he was so happy to be alive, to see his friends - even his dad, imagine that! 

“Go back to sleep, Shawn,” Henry ordered.  “It’s going to take a while for you to heal, and you’ll need all the rest you can get.”

Not knowing what had come over him, blaming the poison and trauma for the words that spilled unbidden from his lips, he found himself asking, “And you guys will be here?  Next time I wake up?”  

Gus grinned and leaned over to give Shawn a one-sided fist bump, and Juliet kissed him delicately on the forehead.  His dad ruffled his hair in a manner that could almost be construed as affectionate if he wasn’t careful.

“You bet your ass we will.”

Overall, Shawn reflected as he allowed sleep to claim him, being fully poisoned fully sucked, but it was kind of nice getting a glimpse of just how much his friends and family cared. 

They could find other opportunities to show their love in the future though. Shawn had had enough of poison, barely, fully, or otherwise, for a lifetime. 

[the-fiction-witch]

Bubblegum Kisses

TV SHOW ACCUSED

COUPLE JAKE X READER

RATING FLIRTY + MILD SMUT

Strawberry and blueberry twist bubblegum.

The taste I was addicted too.

I never much really liked bubblegum when I was younger I found it far to sickly sweet for me, until one day when I was studying on the school yard brick wall.

I suddenly couldn't get enough of the stuff.

Since I was a little kid I kinda had a crush on a girl named y/n, she wasn't really a popular girl exactly. I guess he was within her crowd she was kinda what I would call an... alternative kinda girl.

I spend a lot of time with her growing up which honestly likely didn't much help my crush on her.

And one thing I always known about her was,

Bubblegum.

She used to get some change every week for walking her family dog and every penny of it would go into the tall red bubblegum ball machine outside the post office.

When we where little I used to have to get on my hands and knees and she stood on my back in order to reach to put in her pennies. She would fill it her little bag with bubblegum balls and we would run off to the park every Saturday afternoon.

The smell of those cheap gumballs makes me think of her a little as he bag always had the sticky sweet scent and it too was always on her as she was almost always chewing on bubblegum.

The kids at school used to call her violet after the girl in Willy Wonka.

But she never minded about everyone else much she just hung around with me.

The more I grew to like her the more I grew to associate bubblegum with her. The smell of it the colours they always made me think of her, Whenever I saw red and blue side by side I'd think of y/n and her bubblegum balls.

By the time we got to secondary school I was infatuated with her, and at the same time the shops starting selling

New!! Strawberry and blueberry bubblegum in strips.

The little shop on the corner used to sell a pack of twenty for 99p, and of course this was y/n's favorite flavor, and it was about two weeks out from her birthday. So I went around our estate and cut grass, walked dogs, babysat anything I could to earn some money and that when her birthday came I could give her a whole box filled the the bubblegum strips and of course the balls too. I remember how happy she was, she gave me a huge cuddle I don't think I had ever seen her so happy.

My crush on her only got worse and my addiction to that bubblegum smell became worse, it got to a point I bought a pack and kept it in a little Tupperware box just got to smell when I missed her. And I May have used it sometimes when I really really 'missed her', that smell made me think about her which sometimes wasn't great because if I walked past it in the shop I could smell it and it would almost give me a Bonner. Which wasn't helped by an announcement when we where just heading into our options year that Christmas -

New!! Strawberry and blueberry bubblegum shower gel, shampoo and body stray.

Company's hate teenage boys with hormones don't they. Because of course she came to school everyday fucking day smelling like a bubblegum factory!!

From her mouth, her hair, her body, everywhere was the smell of sugar, artificial strawberry and strong blueberry bubblegum.

And I was addicted to it.

Because whenever I smelt it, I thought of y/n.

I even bought a tin of the body spray to spray on my pillow so I could cuddle it and to help when I'm... All alone.

I had been trying so often to try and te her how I felt about her but I always got to shy, until her birthday rolled around again and just as it did almost like clockwork I saw something in a little discount store

New!! Strawberry and blueberry bubblegum lipgloss/balm

So of course what did she get for her birthday everything and anything strawberry and blueberry bubblegum from everyone even her family.

The lipgloss became what she wore every single day it tinting her lips a light purple with a tiny bit of glitter to it, it only made me want to kiss her even more.

My crush only continued to get worse until one day I was studying on the yard sitting on the brick wall with y/n beside me reading the maze runner book even if I couldn't much focus on anything but her, she of course was chewing her bubblegum often blowing little bubbles, the sweet sugar scent in her soft beautiful hair, the overwhelming artificial strawberry smell on her skin, that light purple softly resting on her lips. She blew her last bubble before taking the old gum out her mouth wrapping it in the wrapper and throwing it in the bin beside us returning to her book, but she noticed I had been watching her do all that and she looked at me a little puzzled.

I looked at those sweet lips I had been wanting to kiss for so long, and I couldn't help it, I moved forward pressing my lips to her own her scent overwhelmed me the taste of that bubblegum gloss on her lips she kissed back moving her lips against mine I did it too our lips kissing over and over lightly clacking with each kiss till she pulled away leaving me in a dream like state

"Ooohh Jake, what was all that about?" She asks

"I just uhh... I uhhh... I really wanted to see what your lipgloss tasted like" I smiled and she laughed as the bell went so she kissed my cheek and went off to her class.

After that day I became even more addicted to that taste, I would chew the gum while I was jerking off just because it felt and tasted like I was making out with y/n, and eventually after alot of convincing and little dates, she became my girlfriend.

I stopped jerking off to much as I had her to kiss me now even if I admit I may have kept a couple packets and maybe a body wash so I could smell it in the shower and chew the gum like I was making out with her for you know... In shower... Reasons.

She sat on my bed with me the two of us rather seriously kissing that sweet sugar taste and smell all over her as usual my hands often exploring her a little but she always did it to me too, my hands often moving her butt of her boobs in our kisses till she pulled away

"Ooh Jake what's that poking me?" She asks

"Ohh uh sorry" I blushed but she smiled giving me a kiss

"It's okay, so did you wanna...do anything?" She smirked

"Can we uhh... Maybe make out?' I suggest

"Aww course can" she giggled going to kiss me but I stopped her

"Could you uhh Maybe do something for me?" I asked her

"Well alright" she smiled "what is it Jake?"

"Can uhh before we make out? Can you maybe have some bubblegum?"

"Uhhhhhh why?" She asked a little confused

"It's uhh well... Look y/n I've liked you since we where little kids, and something that always makes me think about you is that strawberry and blueberry bubblegum, and I like tasting it when I kiss you" I explained

"Well okay" she smiled "maybe once. Done with my gum, we could do something more then make out?" She asks

"Uhhh...okay" I blushed very excited