#but i guess this proves that it's not ENTIRELY ridiculous for one woman to be that fertile

[kiralamouse]

I just. 27 pregnancies. How. *looks it up* Ah yes, 1700s records of dubious accuracy. Surely no human woman would actually...

... have surgery to shut down the reproductive system please no more in 2019 after 21 pregnancies yielding 44 children (38 surviving) and dear Mariam Nabatanzi Babirye my most heartfelt congratulations and condolences, where do I donate to your GoFundMe

[dozing-marshmallow]

Pls i NEED more Chris McLean x reader. I NEED😭🙏 ive read everything of him on here😓

So pretty please something like chris mclean x wife reader and like, the whole tdi cast gets to meet her bc they didnt believe that Chris had a wife at first?😇

TRUST ME WHEN I SAY I feel the exact same way😫 I love Chris so much and it’s such a huge pleasure that I can write for him while having other people who love him enjoy it as welllll. I will be writing him for a very long time so you can always expect something new evolved around him to come up ;)<3

CHRIS MCLEAN X WIFE! READER ONE SHOT

Having your daily hug with Chris, the tender moment reminds you of what he told you earlier.

“Were you being serious when you told me the kids laughed at you when you told them you were married?"

“Mhmm.” he responds from underneath you,“They called it a sick joke and told me that stand up comedy was way out my league.”

“Aw darling.” you kiss his forehead,“I’m guessing you’re gonna ask a favour for me to stop by to prove them wrong?”

He raises an eyebrow,“What do you mean? Stand up comedy is in my league. I just don’t prefer it, doesn’t mean I’m not good at it.”

He can be so silly sometimes,“I meant your marital status, baby.”

“Oh, yeah...” he holds onto your wrists,“Please?”

You let your body relax completely on top of his, still smiling,“Your wish is my command.”

“Aw what’s the matter, McLean? Couldn’t your wife make it?” Duncan was the first to pick up on ridiculing Chris, eyes still puffy from his chronic cries of laughter from last night. On another circumstance, Chris would’ve been fuming, had he not have reason to smirk.

“How sweet of you to worry, Duncan!” the host begins off, clasping his hands,“But she’s made it in one piece!”

On cue, you walk into the mess hall, linking your arm with Chris’,“Hii everyone! So happy to finally see you all in person!”

All conversation died.

Everyone turns to you.

This woman they’ve never seen before... 

His... His wife?

Were they hearing that right?

No way... He was being serious?

Chris was rolling on the inside at the shared alike look of being slapped spread across the contestants, especially of the mocking kind.

“I...didn’t know you had enough space in your heart to love someone else!” Beth’s the first to break out of her ice of shock to chirp.

“Surprised?” Chris chuckled, allowing you to introduce yourself, which was not what you guys decided.

“Yeah, I’m (Y/N)! This hot mess’ wife...” turns out improvising in front of teenagers wasn’t as fun as it sounded,“Sorry, I’m...not too good with words, so...help yourself to these cupcakes I made for you guys. I made them as a way to say how huge of a pleasure it is to meet you all!”

As you turn around to unwrap the trays, Leshawna clears her throat to privately address the cohort,"One of two things are gonna happen. One, those cupcakes are filled with maggots and hair. Or two, it's the first actual food we're gettin’ on this set."

Everybody nods in agreement.

They were right to inspect the wrapping and texture with their noses and eyes.

Yet didn’t expect to have the flavour of delicate buttermilk crumble on their tongues.

Oh my God...

Maybe they were deprived from having treats so long on the show, but it was unanimously categorised as a whole new delicious nonetheless.

The punk delinquent scoffs over,“Yeah... I’m not buying that’s his wife.”

“That evil maniac with a permanent smile is probably holding her hostage!” The ginger geek dramatically pinpoints.

“I can see why, these are too die for!” Owen squeaks, scoffing down an entire cupcake, wrapping included, not comprehending what situation it would mean for you if you really were abducted.

“Hm... Maybe he’s paying her.” Gwen suggests alternatively after taking another glance at you: it was your arm around him. Too touchy to be forced...

“I’d understand if he was hot like me, but he’s not even halfway there! Where would he find someone willing to do all that for him? No amount of money should convince anyone to ever lose their dignity for the likes of him." Justin criticises out of his internal debate of skipping the cupcakes or not.

“You’d be shocked if you’ve seen the fansite.” Noah opposes like it was the most known thing.

Speaking of which,"Sierra.” Heather directs, taking sudden control of the situation and everyone’s eyes to peel towards the superfan whose mouth was staining in the same dye as her magenta hair, perking up from her snacking at the mention of her name,“You know everything about everybody. Say, is Chris paying that woman to pretend to be married to him for laughs?"

The girl whose lifeline was Total Drama quickly swallows the last portion of her cupcake to appease her idols with a packed answer,“Oh, no! It’s all true! Unfortunately. Those two got married way before Total Drama was aired. A lot's happened... My mom waited years for Chris to propose to her and there he goes, chasing after that nobody! Do you have any idea how painful it is to see my mom’s husband having an affair? (Y/N) is nothing but a block of concrete, blinding Chris from seeing his true soulmate! A.k.a my mom!” The last few sentences gradually grazed with personal prejudice, but not enough to throw the next cupcake away.

“Wait, but if Chris did get married to your mother... Wouldn’t that make you his stepdaughter-?“ Alejandro posited, already having a hard time imagining Chris take that role biologically.

"So Chris,” Cody interrupts the impending awkward ambient Alejandro’s phrasing would bring, steering the conversation back, still bewildered,“...really does have a wife."

Bridgette takes her slo mo time in grabbing another frosted vanilla good, rethinking, the same man that laughed at their pain,"I...honestly don't know how to feel about that."

"Huuu... I feel like I went overboard with cupcakes, Chris!” you freak out to your husband, fidgeting with the sleeves of your turtleneck,“Why did I pick to make something so childish? I should've picked something more formal... Like a dish from my home country..."

"Relaaaaax, no one else is thinking about that." Chris assured, biting into one of your delicacies.

You continued to murmur on,“I wanted to make something universal, a collection of sweets so in case one likes a certain flavour more than others... I thought teenagers around here liked cupcakes... I feel like such a fool... I hope they don’t think I see them as childish...”

He grabs one and holds it horizontally to your lips, painting them yellow,“It’s not just teenagers that like them, (Y/N). Besides, they are children. Children like things that are childish.”

That’s true... Your paranoia’s sunk,“Well... They seem to be enjoying themselves. I’ve been worrying for nothing.” you smile, drawing your finger on his stubble to take for licking,“You had some icing there.”

Turns out, you were really nice.

The angel to Chris’ devil.

The sun to Chris' moon.

The calm to Chris’ energetic.

“So (Y/N)... I just...have a quick question on behalf of everyone else.” The CIT girl shields her mouth with her hand, like she didn’t want anyone else to hear.

“Of course, Courtney. Whatever would you like to know?” you welcome her, all kinds of possible questions cloud your mind.

She tightens your shoulders in her palms,“What the hell do you see in Chris?”

...You expected that one,“Why, I see a strong, handsome, hilarious man. A goal-driven, deep down caring, loving, in need of love man.”

Now the only true thing she heard was “goal-driven”- to kill them as spiritually as possible. Maybe even physically.

"You're not brainwashed, are you?" Her eyes widened like your answer had tossed her deeper in her horror.

"Get her to blink two times in a row if she needs help!" Tyler shouts, unintentionally defeating the purpose of being discreet from his clean intention.

"Hm?” Teenagers are so funny!,“It's not brainwash when it's love! After all, wouldn't you say you've found yourself in love with someone you never thought you'd be with?" You smile warmly at the type A when the butterflies fluttered an external reaction across her freckled face.

"Th-That's different!” she impulsively shrieked before closing her mouth in embarrassment. She looks around, and after making sure no one was judging her, she continues speaking, back to her whispering voice,“That’s Duncan. This is Chris.”

“Well, we both seem to have a type for the ones that went to jail, don’t we?” you wittily mention, giving her a wink to the similar parallel.

Leaving Courtney to her common dynamics contemplation, there was no better timing for Owen to ask if you had any more cupcakes to give.

“I’m so happy you liked them! I’ll tell you what, I can make more and send them to you."

“Don’t get too flattered. Bed crusher there would eat anything, even things you can’t call food.” The overruling antagonist scornfully gestures, her hair as black as her heart.

“...Ah, right.” you shouldn't have thought so highly of yourself over baking. To Owen, they probably weren’t good, just something to give his appetite.

“Well... That's not entirely true...” The foodie looks to the side uncomfortably for a moment from Heather’s harsh perspective,“Having eaten a lot of things gives me a solid judgement on a variety of tastes. With that said, I’d specifically be really happy to eat (Y/N)’s baked cupcakes again. You can't buy that kind of quality!"

Aw! “Thanks, Owen!” it’s no mystery why everyone was in his support back first season!

“You didn’t use any store bought cake mix, did you?” DJ asks, his naturally kind pitch of voice crunching up an otherwise accusing delivery his words may have played.

“Nope! If I was gonna have half of the ingredients already done for me, I may as well have just ordered the finish product.” the truth radiates through your magnetism, not as magnetizing as your husband, smothering you away in his arms.

For some reason, no one said anything right away. Like taking an exam, silence had scattered among these group of teenagers.

"I'm convinced she has Stockholm syndrome."

Up till Harold breaks it.

"Stockholm syndrome?! Come onn, you know that’s not a real thing!” Lindsay asserted, turning to Beth,“Is it a real thing?"

The nice-hearted nerd smacks a hand to her forehead. Rather than finding humor in uninformed Lindsay, Trent finds his eyes trapped on the sight of Chris’ hand holding onto yours, fingers locked, palms resting. Above all his faults, Chris...still had you.

That kind of love...hard to find, lucky to have.

[nikkisticki]

You know, I just went digging through Terf tags and found four things of note:

1) They exhibit all the same signs of behavior as Far-Right groups and do things identically to them, like creating their own terms and concepts to obscure what they are really saying, or engaging in what I'd call "mental jousting with a straw knight", where they screenshot something they don't like and angrily react to it, claiming victory and feeling very confident with themselves, when what's happening is a 30 year old woman is arguing with a screenshot of a 14 year old on Tiktok

2) They constantly create new tags to talk in as "the old ones are too toxic!!!" which is also another form of social chameleon behavior to escape ridicule. Look at them all!

3) They don't actually engage with whatever's being said and instead engage with what they want to believe they said, even if that requires substantial misinterpretation. Obviously, that includes taking a single study and claiming it's proving their words when the study calls them a fucking fool. (Hey guess what the far right constantly does)

4) They are regular consumers of Fox News and chow down on their propaganda willingly, alongside consistent connections to far right grifters. Obviously this means they just take things at the word of FOX NEWS, and they won't actively engage in anything resembling a Steelman argument or even attempting to understand all sides of a situation.

It's almost as if they are just conservative women who don't want to be called that because of it's equivalency to being a breeding mare. They hold some progressive ideas without any real fucking depth and exclusively aligned towards their own interests. You don't see Terfs talking about racism until it involves exclusively women.

Oh and Bonus #5 is they are even lonelier then I expected, probably because they are TERFS and the few people who would date them have intellects rivalling an onion and treat them like filth.

If you ever think you're lonely, just know that you could be lonelier if you consumed Fox News

I've looked at a lot of far right groups for a long ass time, and if I had to go out on a limb I'd guess that a large chunk of Terfs are alienated from most social situations and entirely rely on their echo chambers to give them their needed socialization and rationalization of why things are the way they are.

[zahri-melitor]

Newish Comics:

Batman: The Brave and the Bold #12: It...just occurred to me this Gotham Academy era story is in fact a flashback/alternate continuity set probably shortly after Second Semester, because Alfred is alive and they go to the ordinary Cave. Which tracks with my usual hypothesis that everything happening in Gotham Academy is NOT actively connected to main continuity unless proven otherwise. Anyway, this again is proving that Maps isn't actually an active Robin in the main continuity, and right now she's appearing as Future!Meridian which is actually a cooler role for her, honestly.

I honestly haven't read much Gentleman Ghost so this was interesting? Nice to see a bit more than him just appearing in a group scene.

Artemis story remains excellent, apart from the tragic fact it intersected with the stupid current Wonder Woman plot. I do like that it's portraying the ridiculous level of overreach involved in the 'ban the Amazons' concept.

(for reference, they're currently in Qurac)

It's damning to me that every other person working around this storyline is building a more interesting narrative, but what can you do?

There's a Swamp Thing story and I loved it and I am getting closer and closer to going wild and starting a massive Swamp Thing read. It's some gorgeous conception of death though.

The henchman story is...fine, I guess? If you're a fan of looking at the socioeconomic dynamics of the Gotham hench crowd, it's probably up your alley.

The Flash #8: We can have Barry wondering how Wally does it all and Wally being central to the universe, as a treat.

Green Arrow #11: I am so torn on this title. I think its biggest crime is possibly being just a little TOO indulgent and juggling too many balls, rather than focusing in telling one or two of these stories in better detail.

Because. In terms of what Williamson is doing here, he's: reuniting the entire Arrow family for the first time since 2010 or so including bringing in peripheral characters like Cissie for the first time (but not Sin); he's given specific 'you're alive!' reunions for Roy and Lian, Ollie and Connor, Ollie and Mia, and so on, untangling situations where people simply didn't know the other was bopping around again; he's doing a lot of work setting up Waller for Absolute Power; he's giving us an excuse for why Green Arrow as a title has been off page for so long; he's making it a love fest for lovers of the Arrows by the list of artists involved, including multiple nostalgic favourites AND Sean Izaakse doing modern redesigns for everyone's costumes...and he's doing it in a title that was originally sold as a mini, expanded to a maxi, and then finally given an ongoing.

I think, honestly, the title is overwhelmed with too many goals crammed in just in case this was the only Green Arrow story we got for the next however long.

And equally, while being overly ambitious in terms of what it wants to achieve, the plot itself is moving at a glacial pace and is pretty underwhelming, in that there simply isn't time and space to devote to plot when the title is also busy juggling "has everyone seen that Lian and Connor are alive yet?" and flashbacks to re-establish everyone's connections to Ollie, and explanations to retcon previous behaviour, and and and...

I think it would be less frenetic if it had been signed off from the beginning as an ongoing, so the book could have just gone "5 issue story, followed by a Roy and Lian reunion issue, followed by 5 issue story, followed by an issue that's about Ollie finding the house full again and juggling kids moving back in," and so on.

All that said, I do think it's a good title to give to someone who's curious about Green Arrow as a title as an intro to get them interested and excited about the range of characters involved. I just don't think it's showcasing the best of Green Arrow storylines well.

And that's okay! But I think it's trying to achieve the reset that say Jeremy Adams' Flash gave the Flash books, without having the space and pacing that Adams had over 33 issues to achieve his final goal.

Oh, the actual story this issue? It’s Merlyn trying a bit hard to convince everyone he’s really one of Ollie’s biggest foes (typical Merlyn).

This made me laugh however:

Love that Izaakse specifically decided to use a bunch of particularly mid to sucky Dinah and Roy costume choices here and didn’t include their best costumes. You’ve got my back.

The Warlord #49: This week in the Lost Land of Skartaris, Shakira bets Travis that he can't go an entire story without using his gun.

They proceed to investigate a mysterious castle, where Travis and Shakira are avoiding traps and seeing skeletons. They end up defeating a mummy.

Travis, apparently unmoved by the promise of large piles of gold. He lives only for war!!!

But then...a leopard jumps out at them! Travis reacts and shoots it!

Sucks to be you, Travis.

Also we get a check in with Jennifer, who while asleep in her bed in the mysterious new castle encounters...a head-hand man?

Nightmare is a good description, yes.

Also we had a freaking Mongo Ironhand story running in the bottom panels of each page, that contained Legally Not Gollum.

Gollum's 'pretty' is a book of magic, which turns him into a demon known as the Evil One.

Also there's a Claw the Unconquered backup, which is pretty ordinary, but this particular panel is just some beautiful art.

[sneezemonster15]

It's also annoying when someone makes a post on how it's sad people are so heteronormative they don't see Naruto and Sasuke's love and then some Sakura stan comes out of the woods to the reply section and goes "umm acshuallyy I'm a bisexual woman and I don't ship them! Just because I ship sasusaku/narusaku (sometimes just one or both) doesn't mean I'm homophobe!" like okay thank you for your contribution. So you are a bisexual woman with a bad taste. Not sure why we needed to know this but ok.

Lol. Don't take those ones so seriously anon because it is known that fans would say anything to justify their crappy taste. A lot of these so called homosexual or bisexual people aren't really that. They are straight but pretend to be otherwise just to prove a silly point. Cuz it's the internet, we can say anything and get away with it, no? Who's gonna check?

Like no, I refuse to believe that someone who has experienced ostracization or ridicule from society or their peer groups for being of a non heteronormative sexuality would ship someone like Sasuke or Naruto with someone so bland, stereotypical and prejudiced as Sakura whose understanding of a person is surface level and skin deep af. Who discriminates against people just because they are different from the norm. Such as Lee or Naruto. Like no. Someone who is so insensitive so as to mock an orphan in front of another orphan and who compares an orphan's misfortunes with her own very shallow ones is someone who lives life with a very limited understanding of the world. Someone who lives a privileged life, someone who takes her quality of life for granted. Someone who likes and rates people on the basis of their looks and popularity.

People who feel different from the norm or are made to feel abnormal because they don't conform to the social norms are naturally sensitive to others' misfortunes or tragedies or struggles. They are much more sensitive towards external stimuli because what heterosexual people can easily take for granted, they can't. Heterosexuality is so normalised to the exclusion of everything else, the entire world caters to them. It's like gay or bi people, or those different from the norm, are outliers living in their world. It becomes second nature for such a person to think about everything, examine and second guess every gesture and expression, to be able to find a single moment of understanding, without being judged. It's a daily battle. Especially in a heteronormative society. They are able to empathize with the less fortunate because they are able to see what others don't.

Naruto, Sasuke, Gaara, Neji, Haku, they are different from the norm. They have had their share of great suffering. This is exactly why Sasuke resonates with Naruto, Naruto resonates with Gaara and Neji and Nagato and Haku. Kishi writes his characters with a lot of thought and he has a good grasp on psychology and perception. Any good storyteller does.

Like this person, a Hinata stan, told me she was gay but shipped SS and NH. Turns out it was a HE and a Minor and extremely abusive towards SNS, who thought SNS were dirty fujoshis who deserved to die for shipping brothers. Lol.

Like you can't be sensitive and intelligent and ship something like SS, NrSk and NH. All these ships are a crime against humanity. And anyone who is sensitive and empathetic would find it extremely difficult to like these women, much less ship these last moment shallow ass ships that are based on insensitivity and lack of understanding or empathy.

[what-gs-watching]

"One fabulous kiss and we're good. I have a plan."

So far this week I've cleaned out all of the cabinets in my kitchen and our master bathroom, did some sadness shopping, attempted to clean out my car, and packed up my stupid fucking laptop. So. I guess it's time to get back to Good Omens (even though I've been playing Supernatural in the background just to have something...we'll get into that entire situation eventually).

Right, episode 3. Wherein we get more adorable interactions, a yellow Bentley, an absolutely clueless angel, more meddling, and laudanum. I love this one, if only for laudanum!Crowley. And the look on Crowley's face during the awning of a new age...but we're getting ahead of ourselves.

At the shop, Aziraphale is listening to the Buddy Holly record when he gets a knock at the door, opening it to a person appearing to be a police officer, but dressed completely in white. The 'police officer' tells him that because they are a police officer, they can monitor him without raising suspicion and Az is already on the uptake it appears, so when they ask if they can come in because it's loud outside and they can't hear anything, he lets them in. 

The entire scene with this 'police officer' is hilarious, Az offers a cup of tea and says that a human police officer would definitely accept it. Crowley shows up with a box of his plants that he's pulled from the Bentley asking why Aziraphale can't go by train, "you LOVE trains" he says, and then he just exclaims "who's THIS now" but he quickly figures it out as well. The two of them are so sweet about it, even if they're highly amused. Crowley sits on the arm of Aziraphale's chair (again, swoon, it's so natural) and the laugh he emits is so sweet, and they both just make little moon faces at the angel that's shown up before excusing themselves to another room. 

Aziraphale thinks this angel is going to figure out quickly that the lie he told about their extremely powerful miracle is untrue, and Crowley says they just need to get Nina and Maggie to have "one fabulous kiss" and they're done. 

The angel bursts in to interrupt them of course and Crowley asks if they're interested in humans being in love, especially Nina and Maggie over the road. The whole point of this interaction is that Crowley says that you can only tell if they're in love by waiting a few days because humans are weird and that's how it works (ya know, to buy them some time), and then he announces "don't hesitate to ask me if you have any other questions about love" and y'all. Aziraphale's reaction. Like, baby girl, you are thirsty. You legit looked him up and down and stuck out your lip and you did not look away. I see you.

Anyway, Aziraphale takes the Bentley and he heads off to Edinburgh to investigate his Clue, leaving poor Crowley behind. 

We're then flashed-back to an entry in Az's diary from 1827, wherein he and Crowley were in Edinburgh doing this and that. Crowley took Az to a statue he's found of Gabriel in a graveyard. They stumble upon a young girl trying to steal a fresh body from a grave, and Crowley puts on a hilarious Scottish accent, and offers to help her in her endeavor. Aziraphale is shocked by this of course, and he wants to stop her so he trails behind them whining about how wicked her actions are. 

They find out that she's doing it because she's living on the street with another woman, but Az still isn't moved. He says that people have opportunities to prove how good they are by resisting the temptation to do wicked things, and poor people have even more opportunities to do so. Crowley of course knows this is ridiculous, but black-and-white Aziraphale just says it's "ineffable". 

Back in the present, Az is bonding with the Bentley, talking to it about how they've come to an understanding. He's very proud of himself until Crowley comes blaring through the speakers to tell him he can feel when he drives the Bentley under the speed limit. He tells him to speed up, so he tries, but Az says it seems the car doesn't want to, and he grabs himself a little treat from the dash. Crowley is incensed, asking "was that a travel sweet?" This man knows what's going on, he can feel Az has done something to the car. And he has of course, the Bentley is now a beautiful shade of yellow (it's his favorite color because of, possibly, a certain demon's eyes?) but Crowley isn't having it. He says it must be changed back and Az whines "but it's pretty" so Crowley resorts to threatening to sell some books if he doesn't, these two know how to push each other's buttons clearly. 

Meanwhile in 1827, Aziraphale and Crowley follow the grave robber Elsbeth to her destination and clueless little Az is determined to ruin her mission. They're introduced to MISTER (he's a surgeon, not a doctor) Dalrymple and when they're let inside Az does a little miracle to ruin the corpse and he's so proud of himself. Elsbeth runs off because she can't get paid but Az wants to stop both supply and demand so Crowley stops time to convince the surgeon to let them stay and talk about his work. (The surgeon has started calling the angel and the demon 'doctor' which I love, so many Who easter eggs.)

However, it doesn't go to Aziraphale's plan - he learns that Dalrymple is just trying to save lives, he needs corpses to do so, he needs them to teach and to learn. He shows them a tumor he pulled from a 7 year old boy and Az is devastated to learn the boy died, he clutches the specimen to his chest, and things are shades of grey baby boy, not the perfect black and white you cling to. So he changes his mind and decides Elsbeth's actions are holy after all, and offers to help. Because now it's somehow good. 

Coming back to present-day Edinburgh, Az rolls up to the pub with the haunted jukebox and he's wearing a cute little getup, he's so pleased with himself. Boy is cosplaying at being a reporter and he thinks it's a fun little jaunt. He learns from the owner that Gabriel definitely had been there about a year ago, and that he was with someone else. He's giddy. I really feel the need to point out that Aziraphale is still under the impression that he's investigating a cute little mystery and there isn't really anything on the line at all. Which is honestly insanity. 

In the 1800's Crowley and Az go back and gather up Elsbeth's friend Wee Morag and off they go back to the graveyard, but things go wrong. A grave gun gets tripped and Wee Morag is shot, and they try to get the girl to safety in a nearby tomb, but she dies. And Elsbeth decides to just sell her body to get the money she desperately needs, that's what she'd want. 

She goes back and delivers the body, and gets less money than she'd expect, and she's angry. So she sees some laudanum on the counter and she nicks it, and then goes off to buy some wine to toast her friend. Crowley and Az show up back at the tomb to join her, and things start to go off the rails. 

They both see the laudanum of course, and as she's explaining that she's going to drink the wine and then the laudanum so she can join her friend in the afterlife, Crowley grabs it and downs it. She's horrified, says he's going to die and Crowley exclaims "constitution of an ox" (oh really? An ox? Didn't we just see Aziraphale devour an ox......)

I can't decide what my favorite part of laudanum!Crowley is. He starts rambling about no more dying, "No dying! no more dying! it's just....wrong!" He sings the Scottish national anthem(?). He makes goat noises (all the Job references), he unexpectedly shrinks. I love him yelling "I'm small aren't I?" and the faces and the growling and the dance he does to return himself to a normal size, but just kidding, not a normal size, he bursts through the ceiling of the tomb. 

He tells Elsbeth "you've sinned very bigly!" (and I'm totally going to use that) he says "Trying to kill yourself...I mean....it's NOT ON!" He asks the angel how much money he's got - 90 guineas. He tells Elsbeth she can atone by taking the money, buying a farm, and being good, properly good ("gi'er the money, angel!") And so, she promises she will and runs off. 

Afterward Crowley yells "Laudanum, oooh wee! Last time I do that!" and he stumbles around and he's afraid he's lost Aziraphale who snakes an arm around his waist and tells him he did a really good thing. Which he denies, of course. He was off his head on laudanum, not responsible for his actions. But Aziraphale is worried that hell must have noticed, and Crowley says if they had he'd already be....and then he's sucked down, and away. In his diary, Az says he doesn't see Crowley for a long time after that. 

(And if we think about the timeline, we know that in the 1860's Crowley appears again, and he's now asking for holy water. What happened to that poor baby?)

Meanwhile, Aziraphale calls the bookshop after he finds himself staring at Gabriel's Edinburgh statue to catch Crowley up, who answers the phone by saying "Fell's bookshop - we probably don't have what you want, and we wouldn't sell it to you if we did" because he's very good at protecting his angel's interests. More swooning. Az is excited because Gabriel was with someone, but they're not really listening to each other as usual and Crowley hangs up because he sees an opportunity to enact his Nina/Maggie plan. 

Which doesn't work, of course. He gets the rain going, he gets them under the awning, and they are having a heart to heart. Crowley's smile watching the two of them is so pure, he's convinced this is all it's going to take but shit does not work like that, he and Aziraphale are so dense, and instead of vavooming, the awning breaks and the girls get drenched. 

And then Shax shows up. Crowley goes outside to find out what she wants and she insists that Beelzebub knows that Aziraphale is hiding Gabriel in the bookshop. He insists that he isn't, and we learn that Shax can't cross the bookshop's threshold and Crowley tries to keep his cool, but Shax says that hell is going to declare war - not on him, mind, but on Aziraphale. 

Ya boy is once again in panic mode, he flys at Gabriel and starts threatening him over harm coming to Aziraphale but then he deflates just as quickly, saying "It doesn't matter. It's too late for that now, isn't it? It's always too late."

Y'all. Crowley knows they're living in an extremely dangerous situation and Aziraphale is just off dressing up and having fun and enjoying himself. I understand wanting to protect Az however possible, I do, but he's just making it worse. They're both just making it worse...

[stillarandom-radfem]

You know, gendies and radfems can argue back and forth all day about whether gender dysphoria is a "real" mental disorder or not, but one thing that I refuse to argue is the utterly ridiculous notion that having it can somehow change your biological sex on it's own. A self-loathing man is still a man, and a self-loathing woman is still a woman; your personal sense of self-worth has zero impact on your DNA. The purpose of language is to enhance communication, and those words developed to describe people with specific reproductive typicalities. They didn't develop to make people feel good, because feeling good is not the purpose of language (that's what chocolate is for, jk, lol). Without a solid definition to words, the entire purpose of language dissolves, and no one will be able to understand one another. Think of the biblical "tower of Babel" story, but happening in real time, NOT mythical, and, obviously, induced by human stupidity instead of some presumably made-up, patriarchal angry god. Besides, biological women will still go on existing without a word to describe ourselves, regardless of whether men (trans-identified or otherwise) like it or not. We just won't be able to organize politically, since the law requires clear and concise language in order to work. And I'm pretty sure that barring half the human race from the right to political organization and redress violates several international human rights laws. But then, I guess it shouldn't surprise us that TiMs don't want us to have the same basic human rights that they do, because they really don't make any bones about their misogynistic hatred of women. Want to prove otherwise, TiMs? Stop claiming that having gender dysphoria makes you a woman. It makes you a man with gender dysphoria, full stop.

Also, it goes against the laws of science to claim that feelings change your sex, and also should probably be noted that it doesn't seem to apply to any other mental health disorders. Anorexics, Bullimics, and Orthorexics all think themselves fat; that doesn't mean they are. People with Cotard's Syndrome may believe that parts of their bodies are missing, or that they're dying, dead, or don't exist; that doesn't mean that any of that is true. Schizophrenics can suffer auditory and sometimes visual hallucinations and experience delusions of grandeur and and acute paranoia. I once met a mostly recovered schizophrenic guy who told me about an episode he once had at a family picnic in the park wherein he hallucinated that he saw aliens land from outer space in a flying saucer, and no one else could see them. News flash: aliens didn't land; they were all in his mind. I am quite short (five feet tall exactly, to be precise). If I managed to delude myself that I was really eight feet tall and told everyone else that I was such, that would not magically make me eight feet tall, nor would it change the fact that I am the shortest person in my immediate family. Hell, I can't even add mere inches to my height simply by claiming a different one, let alone feet. And being short can really suck. Not being able to reach stuff, being frequently condescended to, predatory men choosing me precisely because they want someone weak and vulnerable. I don't like it. But, hey, it's genetics. There is nothing I can do about it. No matter how much I may wish I was 5'6", I'm not. And if wishing I was taller won't actually make me taller, why would wishing you weren't your sex make you the opposite one?

The point is, although wishy-washy New Agers and intellectually dishonest postmodernists alike may violently disagree with me, the truth is that feelings don't change facts and our thoughts really don't do anything to shape our physical and biological realities. The words we use to describe our biology, our political categories, and everything else around us are based on physical realities that absolutely anyone can physically observe in the real world. Turning the world upside down and calling things perpetually the opposite of what they are will not actually change what they are IRL, and you at least secretly know that. If you find yourself unable to cope, that is, shockingly, not the rest of society's problem. You need to learn how to deal with that yourself.

[hyenahunt]

Saga: Rivals - 10

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Chiaki, Eichi

Proofreading: moricchiichan (JP) & Peace (ENG)

Translation: kotofucius

Chiaki: Don’t call it kiddie stuff! It’s entirely different for something to be “for kids” and “kiddie stuff,” Tenshouin!

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Location: Classroom 3-A

Time: Same day, during breaktime

Chiaki: …Lilith?

Eichi: Yes. That’s the name of the most formidable opponent you’ll face in Project-Saga — The temporary unit led by the legendary idol Hidaka Seiya.

Chiaki: Hmm. I’ve heard of such a group being formed, but I had no idea about the specifics, since they’re keeping details hidden.

Lilith… It’s a pretty cute name, isn’t it?

Eichi: Fufu. Since you're surprisingly well-read, Chiaki, you should know the name.

The Bible depicts Adam as the first man created… and Lilith was the name of his first wife.

She isn’t very widely known, though. Generally, people think of Eve the first thing when you say “Adam’s wife.”

Maybe she pops up in comics and novels, but she isn’t a very popular character in the original lore. Similar to how Berserkers in Norse mythology are treated.

Chiaki: Hold on — even if you make that comparison, I’m not knowledgeable enough about that to know whether to agree or not.

Eichi: Well, your specialty is tokusatsu, after all. There is a limit to how much information the human brain can hold, so it’s inevitable that we’d pick out which ones to absorb and ignore.

I was born frail and constantly at the brink of death… so I had many opportunities to ponder about gods and the afterlife. That’s all.

And little Keito happened to be a defiant, angsty child. I didn’t even have to ask him to lecture me on each little thing he learned about faith; Buddhism or otherwise.

Chiaki: Wow, Hasumi? I didn’t expect that.

Eichi: Is that so?

Well, we don’t look like close friends now, so it may be hard to believe that he and I had such adorable moments together as children.

We even made a childish promise.

He would ask how I want my burial to be, and tell me to choose my own heaven with childish arrogance.

Chiaki: Yeah, I can tell at a glance that you’re tied with a strong bond.

But that isn’t what I was referring to… Hasumi looks like a straight-laced guy to me, so I didn’t expect him to study up on religions other than what his temple supports.

Eichi: Fufu. He's an unexpectedly fancy-free type of boy… I guess that isn’t a pleasant way to put it. He’s so broad-minded that he can accept any ideas…

And before he realized it, he’d find himself being bogged down by unnecessary baggage… He’d have absorbed too many things and become unable to take a step from their weight.

Quite a monk, to be so easily distracted by worldly passions. Well, better than being a fanatic who tolerates no objections towards their belief, I guess.

Anyway, who cares about Keito. We’ve gotten off-topic…

In various mythologies, characters who oppose the faith or abuse the teachings of the almighty gods are often shunned.

The Norse Berserkers I mentioned were warriors who offered prayers to their god and were blessed with his protection in return, yet slayed friends and foes like beasts without wisdom.

They’re considered pests; snakes in the grass.

Lilith was the same; her very presence could shake the religion at its foundation. Actually, for those who wanted to use the power of faith as a tool, she was almost an eyesore.

Eve was created from Adam’s rib and a lump of earth.

This establishes Adam’s superiority as Eve’s creator… and at the same time, allows the assertion that Eve was not directly brought into being by the Almighty God.

Thus proving that men are superior to women — This is more convenient for certain authorities.

That’s why it’s unacceptable for there to be a woman equal and akin to Adam.

It may sound old-fashioned and ridiculous for us living in these modern times.

But such manipulations had to be made to make a shield out of the colossal power of religion.

Although based on the time she started to appear in texts, Lilith was perhaps also conceived, or syncretized, for similar ends.

Chiaki: Ah… I think Lilith defied God, fell to Hell, and became the boss of demons?

Eichi: Exactly. She didn’t become the mother of mankind — but the mother of the evil demons that lead mankind astray and kill them.

That’s how Eve and Lilith were degraded and twisted to reinforce and legitimate male supremacy.

Lilith is especially portrayed as a repulsive presence that you’re taught not to be like; you’re finished if you ever turn out like her.

A stock villain, just like Norse Berserkers.

That’s why she’s unpopular in myths, because she’s an outcast people would put you down for liking.

I think it’s a poor move to use the name of such an offensive character for Hidaka Seiya’s Project-Saga unit.

There’s too much of a bad reputation attached to it.

Chiaki: Hmm… This goes for Berserkers too, but villains and monsters of her type are popular in manga and anime, right?

In modern Japan, where the influence of religion isn’t so strong, I think those media are more reliable as a way to gauge popularity.

Eichi: True. I wonder what is it with our people’s attraction to characters who ooze an air of vile or mystery…

Evil is bound to be defeated — So is it because our countrymen like to root for the loser?

Chiaki: No, I’m sure not everybody loves evil.

The most popular figure in tokusatsu is still the hero… the one who allies with justice. It’s the sort of story these shows still portray to this day, after all.

Eichi: Well, I guess. It’s honestly hard to believe there are adults who would believe, accept, and applaud such kiddie stuff.

Chiaki: Don’t call it kiddie stuff! It’s entirely different for something to be “for kids” and “kiddie stuff,” Tenshouin!

Eichi: Well… I think that argument can go on for a while, so I’ll evade it. It isn’t our main topic.

Hmm, I wonder if there really is no deep meaning…

Do they just want to borrow Adam, Eve, and Eden’s power — Because these units have retained their popularity despite CosPro’s failure in SS?

That’s why they chose a name related to Adam — Lilith… This is the more natural conclusion, but something still bothers me.

Why didn’t they choose a more agreeable name, then? God, angels, saints, miracles…

They didn’t have to choose the name of an offensive monster, did they?

[ ☆ ]

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[akaraboonline]

14 Thoughts Being Ghosted Causes You To Have

When you're dating someone, and all of a sudden they just start ignoring you, entirely erasing your existence from their lives without so much as a polite notification, you've been ghosted. Ghosting is a very impolite activity, and there has been an increase in it, particularly with the popularity of online dating, where people are limited to left and right swipes. These are the many stages, and in either case, being on the receiving end of it can be a trying experience.

14 Thoughts Being Ghosted Causes You To Have

14 Thoughts Being Ghosted Causes You To Have

1. The inescapable initial step of denial: perhaps he is sleeping, exceedingly busy, or that he lost or smashed his phone just as he began ignoring my Facebook messages.   2. Perhaps I damaged my phone. My texting must be malfunctioning in some way. despite the fact that they all state "delivered"?   3. For the past two hours, why have I been searching for nonexistent clues on his Facebook page? *Slowly examines each woman tagged in his social media pictures*

14 Thoughts Being Ghosted Causes You To Have 4. It's possible that he has feelings for me and is just being coy. I used to think that only obnoxious girls did that. I suppose guys can be obnoxious too.   5. The gradual realization of acceptance: Okay, he has the guts to enable his read receipts, and all of my Facebook messages have the "seen" status, so I guess this is actually occurring. neither a phone in the gutter nor any bizarre deaths.   6. This won't happen to me since I'm not ugly enough. Are my looks too good for this? He cannot be cuter than me.

7. Was he motivated by my lack of attractiveness? Or perhaps it was my personality that lacked luster? * All assurance vanishes, and ideas turn into a swarm of uncertainty.   8. If we cross paths, this will be the worst thing that has ever happened. I now have to spend the rest of my life as a single woman avoiding this one moron and need to dress up every time I go out so that when he sees me, he realizes what he's been missing.   9. Do I need to use Tinder again? Dammit. There are so many disgusting guys and awkward pick-up lines to experience again. Looks like I already got one who ghosted me, so on to the next potentially wicked suitor! Swipe dating often results in meeting some terrible people!

10. Then the periods of acceptance and insecurity begin to be overtaken by wrath. How can I just accept it and go on? I'm entitled to an explanation. What sort of monster would do this?   11. After some moping, apathy begins to take hold. I'll never find the solution I'm looking for, and I'll never be able to let this ridiculous event go. Learning how to handle and neutralize problems for your own well-being without depending on anyone else to do it for you is kind of a wonderful lesson.   12. I wouldn't do this for a friend. I now see why I wanted to dump guys because it's quite crazy to be the one getting the shaft.

14 Thoughts Being Ghosted Causes You To Have 13. I suppose technically it's a good thing he ghosted me because this experience pretty much proves that I'm still cool and he's an ass. I deserve much better, after all. Confidence levels gradually equating.   14. It's okay to be angry and to let your anger go. But this will undoubtedly assist you in getting back on the market and locating a person who appreciates your worth. Enjoy your single, unfettered existence while you can because it won't continue forever. In any case, ice cream dates are more thrilling. Read the full article

[manslaught]

it feels worthless, finding out now that tai wanted to hear from her, because it doesn't change anything. it only makes mikayla feel worse, knowing that if she'd just tried a little harder, asked for some help from the few people willing to visit her, maybe everything could have been different. and then she gets even more irritated, because she shouldn't be the one feeling like she should have done more— not when it should have been tai in the first place. still, she offers a sigh of relief, because she's sick of having to justify herself for what she didn't do, for the way she felt.

mikayla finds it difficult to believe her, because if tai really cared, she would have checked on her, somehow. maybe she did, without mikayla finding out, but she doubts it; mikayla never had to do the same, always being offered information by misty, just to upset her— but it was enough for mikayla to know that tai was okay, that she didn't need mikayla to check on her. but how was taissa able to stomach it, not knowing? “ but you never— checked. so how much did you actually care? ” she levels her voice, sounding more genuine than accusatory, finally. mostly, she just wants to understand how tai could possibly hope for the best, yet never do anything beyond that.

she frowns, unsure of what to think of tai's response. she's not entirely sure what she wanted to hear, because a part of her hates the idea of tai being happy with someone else, the idea that she could be fine without her, but the less selfish part still wanted that for her, no matter how much it hurt. she just stares, unable to come up with anything to say, even anything to hurt her. asking tai if she thought she'd be happier with mikayla is obviously not an option, not just because of the wives waiting for them at home, but because her pride stands in her way.

tai's laughter annoys her, because she wanted her to be jealous, wanted her to hurt— and maybe it still did, but the reaction doesn't feel satisfactory enough for her. she's surprised when tai doesn't tell her the same thing, but she's thankful for it, although she's sure that she went through plenty of hookups before finally meeting her wife, the same as mikayla. she only wonders if it felt as empty for her as it did for mikayla— if she felt disgusted with herself the first time she touched someone else, because mikayla can still remember the way it happened for her. she can hardly remember the woman she slept with, because she didn't matter, but the guilt she felt was unforgettable. it was a different shame than what she would feel in high school, because she no longer hated herself for being with girls, but instead for being with anyone other than taissa. but what choice did she have? tai didn't seem to be coming— and mikayla felt in her gut that she was doing the same thing, hooking up with other people, so she couldn't just wait around and hope she was wrong.

“ i proposed to her after— ” she stops herself, knowing she can't tell her the truth. after i found out you had a kid sounds ridiculous, even if that's the truth, because mikayla never imagined herself marrying calypso until then, and only because she felt like she had to prove to misty that she moved on, that she didn't need her to constantly call to update mikayla on a woman who didn't seem to want her in her life at all. “ a few years. ” she finishes slowly, before clearing her throat and going on, hoping to distract from the fact that that clearly wasn't what she was going to say. “ we've been married for seven. i tried to invite nat, but she was... i don't know. busy, i guess. ” or uninterested. mikayla never got any sort of response, so she's not sure— she just told herself it didn't matter, because a part of her only invited her in hopes that she might tell taissa about it, the same way she hoped for with allie.

facing her mother hadn't been as difficult as she thought it would be. swallowing her pride had been the worst of it, but the possibility of rejection didn't bother her— that's the difference between turning to taissa and turning to her mother: she always knew her mother didn't love her, didn't care, so the rejection wouldn't have disappointed her, but it wouldn't have destroyed her, the way it would have coming from tai. “ i didn't have her. i just had her money. ” her mother tried, awkwardly, to be there for her, letting mikayla know she could come to her for anything, talk to her about anything. but that only made her angrier, knowing that the only reason she was offering her these things was because mikayla threw it all in her face, called her out for abandoning her. or worse, she only hoped that mikayla might open up about what happened out there, as hungry for details as the rest of the public. either way, she was still alone.

“ i wouldn't call it a relationship. ” a professional one, at best, which seems to work for them. mikayla still doesn't know what it's like to have a mother, a real mother, but she's convinced herself she doesn't need that— although she sometimes wonders if it would have helped, being able to cry to her about her heartbreak, to find comfort in her mother's arms, the way others are lucky enough to do. but it was far too late for that, their relationship too severed by aphrodite's choice to leave her behind. “ but she helped me, at least. i needed that more than i needed a mom. ”

it makes her feel ridiculous, like a teenager, the way she almost gets excited when she detects some ounce of jealousy in tai's response, suddenly feeling more awake, the exhaustion momentarily leaving her body. maybe that's the reason she's not able to stop the giggle that erupts from her lips— genuine laughter, for the first time all night, a sound that feels unfamiliar to her own ears, because she can't remember the last time she didn't have to force it. tai doesn't deserve it, but it's the lightest she's felt all night, although mikayla knows it won't last for more than just a few seconds, so it's hard to make herself cut it short, but she manages. “ yeah, she's... good. ” again, not the response someone in love would give, but she's not interested in talking about her wife, especially not to her.

that's the problem— mikayla wants to be able to count on taissa, wants to believe she won't let her down again, but she can't. not when she let her down so badly in their youth: if taissa wasn't able to be there for her when she was supposedly in love with her, how could mikayla possibly expect her to be now? “ i'm not making that mistake again, tai. ” she sounds more sad than angry this time, because it's not meant to throw tai's mistakes in her face for once. “ but i know you'd want to help... them. ” which is just about the only reason she trusts tai to call if someone happens, because clearly, she'd wanted to be there for the others more than she wanted to be there for her. and while it hurts, makes her want to ask why they deserve it more than mikayla did, she's tired of letting herself dwell on it.

“ well, give me your phone, ” she scoffs. somehow, she manages not to comment on how long it's taken for them to get to this point, how they should have been able to do this years ago. when tai offers her the phone, she makes the mistake of not looking at her as she takes it, so their hands brush in the process. she almost drops it, because just the briefest touch felt more electric than anything she's felt in years, felt since her, her skin suddenly on fire. she wishes more than anything that she didn't still feel this way, because it feels too similar to how it felt back then, but she's not allowed to feel that way anymore. she shouldn't.

it's only after she's put her contact into her phone that mikayla notices the dirt, wedged between the phone and the case. her brows furrow, because she thinks back to their time out there— remembers the times when she'd find dirt on tai's fingers, her mouth. it could be nothing, could have just been from dropping her phone at some point, but then mikayla glances back at tai's bandaged hand, getting a sinking feeling in her stomach. is it happening again? is she allowed to ask? mikayla forces herself to look away, deciding that she's not, that if tai wanted her to know, she'd tell her. “ don't sign me up for any of your campaign calls, ” she says instead, handing the phone back, but this time, she pays more attention, eying her fingers for any signs of dirt.

tai frowns,   and then she gets frustrated,   an argument on the tip of her tongue.   but what is her defense,  really?   if the roles were reversed,   she never would have picked up that phone for fear that she’d only been rejected.   she didn’t give mikayla a window,   she didn’t leave her any other options.   she waits a moment too long before saying anything,   but finally,  her head turns to her,  not looking all the way.   ❝  i did,  ❞   she says,  her nose scrunching because she knows it’s not doing her any favors to hear that now.   they can’t change the past,  no matter how badly tai has tried for years.   ❝  —  but i know.    i know i gave you no reason to think i did,  ❞     she adds.    

it's not a satisfactory answer for someone who seems to be doing so much better.   but it also sounds more truthful than a simple 'yes,'   and for that,   taissa can respect it.   but she's already reading too far into her words,   the way she sounds,   the pause between them.     she's glad she's doing better,    she always hoped she would get there,   but there's something enticing about it,  drawing taissa in,   making her too curious.     ❝   i'm  .  .  .   glad to hear that.   ❞     she pushes out a breath,   willing to give her something genuine,   something that isn't protected by her own shield.    ❝   i always hoped for the best for you,  ❞     she says honestly,   even if right now,   she can't shake the feeling that mikayla could be even better off with her,    because it's not her place anymore.    she's supposed to be happy herself,   too.   she can't let her mind wander like that.    maybe hoping for the best for mikayla hadn't included the thought of her with another woman,   something she has to come to terms with now,   if mikayla really is happy —  but she glances her way,   a brow raised,   a subtle hint to tell her happiness isn't that simple.

she faces the road again,   because this is a question that hasn't mattered to her in years.   she's come to accept that happiness is simply unobtainable,   and maybe that's okay.   she can still be successful and still follow her dreams without worrying about where happiness fits into it all.    focusing too much on that means sacrificing something else,   at least that's what she's always told herself,    so she can settle for the perfect wife even if she doesn't know how to give herself to her fully,    and she can settle for a kid who she loves but hadn't necessarily been in her plans,   because at least she's not alone,   at least there's something trying to fill the void.   it doesn't need to be happiness.    ❝  i don't think 'happiness' is easy for people like us,  ❞     she admits,   though she'd never say that to anyone else.    and though her words are referring to all of the survivors who are just trying to keeping going,   that's not all she means —  people like the two of them,    who are supposed to be together but aren't.     how are they supposed to be happy like that?    a small smile forms on her lips again,  but it's empty as she shrugs her shoulders.    ❝  yeah.    everything i wanted,  ❞   she repeats,     a dullness to her words,   making it all too obvious that she doesn't believe that,  even if she's supposed to be keeping up with appearances.

she frowns,   because though she had to assume,   the confirmation just makes her feel worse.   that's always been the worst thing for taissa  —  dealing with the unknown,   questioning something forever,  no real answers.    and yet,   she left mikayla like that,   always left to wonder.    it would've made her sick to her stomach if the roles were reversed;   she doesn't know how mikayla's even able to sit here with her now.   ❝  i did,  ❞     she repeats mikayla's words in the same tone,   taking a deep breath as she sits with it,   leaving it at that.

taissa flinches,   sinking down into her seat because it's like they're teenagers again,   protecting themselves against each other with harsh words.   except this time,   she knows mikayla isn't playing any games.   she's honest,  and she's pleading her,   and as much as tai wants the truth settled,   she knows she owes her this,  too.   ❝  — okay,  ❞    she says,  almost determined to talk herself out of it,  to get the last word somehow,   but she thinks better of it,   pursing her lips together and giving her one small nod.    still,  it leaves her wondering if anything is lingering for mikayla,    if she still wonders about her the way tai tries so hard not to wonder about mikayla.   

even though it stings,  it brings an amused response out of taissa,   again with the empty laugh slipping from her lips.   she calms after a moment,     offering a generic response.   ❝  good for you,  ❞    she says.   and it could be so easy for her to say the same,   that that's how she tried to get through losing mikayla — sleeping with any woman who didn't care to dig up her past,   then leaving her as soon as they were finished,  rarely ever committing the women's names to memory.    but not a single one of them filled the void mikayla left.    she holds back, though, because while it may be instinct to try to one-up her,   the way they used to,   she's in no position to keep hurting her more than she already has,   so she leaves it at that.   she knows mikayla deserves her chance to fight back.

she can't stop her eyes from rolling,   because mikayla's wrong;   calypso is not the only person who ever cared for her,   and it disgusts her to think about now,   this other woman feeling like she's done something no one had done before when tai loved her as deeply as she did.   she should be relieved to know that someone was there for mikayla when she failed to be,   but her jealousy eats away at her  —just as her regret does,  knowing it could have been her to begin with.    her annoyance starts to calm when mikayla goes on,   because she hears how uninterested she seems,   and she's desperate to ask about it,   because mikayla should know well enough that tai can hear something in her words,   so she hesitates for a moment,   debating if she should ask more.   ❝   and .  .  .   you got married soon after?   ❞     she asks,   even though she's partly afraid of the answer.    but even if the answer is yes,   she can't fault her on it —  tai rushed into a marriage early on,  too,  because it felt like the next natural step,   a chance for tai to force her life to fall into place.   she's desperate to know what that was like for mikayla,   even if she doesn't deserve those answers.  

she frowns,   her mind overwhelmed with more questions that likely won't be asked.    she can't imagine what that was like for her,   already thinking of herself next to her when she did it,  supporting her,   reminding her that she didn't have to face that conversation alone.   she wishes mikayla had been braver than her,   that she just showed up anyway,   because tai would have helped.    it would have been the kick she needed to remind herself what mattered,   but it wasn't on mikayla to do that for her,   either.    ❝  that must have been hard for you,  ❞    she says quietly,   shaking her head after a moment because there are so many things she wants to say,   but she knows she has to be careful.    i wish i could have been there,   i wish you had me,   i wish we could've done it together —   but what good is a wish when she had been in control of her own actions back then,   and still chose to abandon her?   ❝   i'm glad you had someone.   even if it wasn't the person you thought it would be.   ❞    her jaw clenches,   because she didn't mean to imply herself,   but she hears it when she says it,   and her cheeks feel warmer,   almost embarrassed.    ❝   do you two have a relationship now? ❞     she asks,  unable to stop her curiosity,  because they may be strangers,   mikayla may not owe her the answers,   but it's coming from a place of tai still caring about her,   still wondering about her and how things are going for her. 

 she scowls,   because it's obvious that mikayla's only trying to get under her skin — but it works.   it works because she's already feeling her impending failure crush her,  and it works because she hates knowing there's a woman who mikayla loves,  who thinks tai was unworthy of her.   and maybe she was — that only makes it sting more.  selfishly,   she wonders if that's even true — would she have been there for her if she knew mikayla in prison?   or would it have been just as hard for her,   too?   ❝  sounds like the perfect woman,  ❞     she says,   returning the same pettiness with her sarcasm.    ❝  —except for her political choices,   apparently,  ❞    she adds.   

she's not expecting mikayla to say that,  and again,  she feels desperate to tell her everything now — tell her how relieved she was when it never happened again,   how much she wishes mikayla could have experienced those peaceful nights with her without the terror of waking up the way she did,   all her fears now that she thinks it's happening again,   because maybe it would help.   maybe that part of her is here begging her to go to mikayla,   to be open with her in a way she can't be with her family.  she wants to tell her every horrible thing that's clicked with her since waking up earlier tonight,   how awful she'd been to her kid when it's clear now that he hadn't been lying to her,  that maybe he was trying to protect her,   because she can't tell simone that.   she can't admit to being wrong,   but she also can't keep blaming sammy.    she takes a deep breath,   silent for a long moment before she turns her head to look at her,   a grateful look in her eyes.    ❝  i didn't,   either.   i mean —   letting you be there.  ❞     she'd been too scared to admit to it before mikayla had to discover it herself,  but she knew mikayla understood her insecurity.   she let mikayla see her,   the version of her that terrified tai,   and  she felt safer for it.   she didn't regret it no matter how exposing it felt,   even now.    and maybe,  she wouldn't regret opening up to her now -— but she's not ready to face that herself,  even.   

she scoffs,   because as much as she would love to have mikayla in her life,   to be there for her the way they used to be,   she can't imagine swallowing her pride and actually going to her.   but she also understands that it's a big offer,  coming from her,   and it does help,   hearing her actually tell her what she wants,   even if it's surprising.   it's hard for taissa to be there for the others,   still preferring to stay out of reach — but times like this matter.   and she'd still drop anything for shauna and nat when they're in real danger.   that's true for mikayla,   too,   even though she hasn't done a good job of making that clear.   ❝  you may not want to count on me,   but—   you can.   ❞    she looks over at her again,   her expression genuine,   hoping she takes her words to heart,   even if tai hasn't come close to earning her trust.    the look lingers for a moment before her brows furrow,   realizing she has no real way of contacting her.     she looks back at the road,   part of her just wanting to wait for mikayla to offer her phone number first,    but she urges herself to give in.     ❝  give me your number,  ❞     she insists,  keeping her eyes ahead and trying to avoid the feeling in her gut at the thought of having that access to her at all.   ❝  and i'll make sure we handle this shit together.  ❞   like they should have been doing from the beginning.

[whats-wild-to-you]

Because You're Mine (Jay Park fiction)

“Hi, what brings you here?” You said in a high-pitched voice as you opened the door.

“Sorry for coming unannounced, Yugyeom gave me your address.”

“I see. What’s the occasion?”

“We need to talk.”

“We?”

What could we possibly be talking about?

You guided him to the kitchen and offered him a seat on the counter.

“Coffee?” You asked absentmindedly while preparing two cups anyway.

“Why did you leave so suddenly last night?”

“Oh..uh I had an urgent meeting this morning.. yeah.”

“Are you sure?”

You cocked your head to the right. “What do you mean?”

“Everyone saw you staring at Jaebeom.”

“I wasn’t staring. I was looking around. I’m not very sociable.”

“Did you know it was him who put you on the guest list?”

“I’m guessing he was the one who put every person at that party on the guest list.”

“Nope. Just you. He didn’t organize the party. It was organized by the co-CEO at AOMG. And they don’t know who you are.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“Jaebeom hyung wanted you there.”

“Really. He looked very occupied the entire time I was there.”

“Jealous?”

“I have no reason to be jealous.”

“He likes you.”

“Did he say that?”

“He doesn’t have to.”

“Both you and Yugyeom are so wrong, it’s almost funny.”

“Ok, then how do you explain the fact that people who’ve known him half his life agree with me?”

You sighed. Partly because you didn’t know the answer but largely because his theory was ridiculous. Not to mention improbable.

“It’s been good seeing you. I wanted to thank you for taking care of me last night and I didn’t think I would get a chance to. Let’s not kid ourselves here, I don’t fit in in your world. I tagged along as a favor to Yugyeom. He’s like a baby deer, I feel like someone has to be by his side at all times.”

“Jaebeom is a good guy.”

“I’m not saying he’s not. But there’s nothing there.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong. I’m going to prove it to you.”

“Take care, Simon.” You said while walking him to the door.

“I’ll stay in touch.”

You chuckled. “Okay, then.”

*6 months later*

Simon kept his promise and stayed in touch. At first it was a random text every now and then, later he sometimes invited you to hang out with the guys at AOMG. Initially you declined, thinking it would be too awkward but after some pleading from Yugyeom, you gave in.

You were currently in Gray’s studio where the guys would often meet. Simon had texted you, asking if you wanted to hang out. You accepted the invitation, thinking Jay would also be there. But when you arrived, he was nowhere in sight.

“Jaebeom‘s not here. I texted him earlier but he said he had a headache.” Simon informed me. Jay was never around when you visited AOMG. You didn’t know whether it was because of a schedule or because he didn’t know you were here.

“Oh, I see!”

“Let’s take a picture and upload it on the group chat. I bet he’ll be here in zero time.” Loco plotted and everyone agreed it was a sure way to get him over here.

You chuckled and watched the guys get in a huddle, before Gray waved at you to stand next to him.

After Loco took a few snaps you selected the best one and he uploaded it to their group chat. A minute later your phone rang and you held it up for everyone to see.

“Man, he’s fast.” Loco snorted.

“You’re on speaker. What’s up?” You greeted him, laughing.

“What are you all doing with my woman?”

“He’s joking.” You chimed in but no one seemed to pay any attention..

“Excuse me? I texted you earlier to come hang out, but you declined.” Simon faked being hurt.

“You failed to mention that Nic would join you, though!”

“It’s okay, Jay. If you want to chill at home that’s fine. I’ll see you another time.” You said casually and everyone gave you the thumbs up.

Silence followed, then, “or you could come over to my place?”

“I could, but we’re actually having a really good time over here. We already ordered food and Gray is playing some demos for me. I’ll just see you another time.”

The boys were having a hard time keeping it together and I gave them the side eye.

“Wait for me!” Jay eventually said and hung up.

Everyone burst out laughing and exchanged high fives.

“Bow to your queen!” Simon announced and everyone copied his exaggerated bow.

“You’re officially an honorary member of AOMG!” Loco announced proudly.

“The only thing you need now is a cool pseudonym.” Gray exclaimed.

“Nicole Lee. What can we do with that?” Simon pondered and immediately everyone started brainstorming ideas.

You just sat back and enjoyed the conversation they were having. For the first time in a long time you felt that you belonged somewhere. That you had found your people. And it felt great.

“N.Lee.” Gray spoke after a while. “Like only.”

“Nah. That’s lame.” Simon interrupted him.

“I like it!” You protested.

“No, no!”

“Why not?” I pouted.

“Not impactful enough.” Simon stated adamantly.

“Okay then you suggest something.” Gray annoyingly said.

“How about Lee N?” Loco chimed in. “Sounds like a whole different name. Leann. Like the country singer!”

“I like!”

“Like what?” Jay stormed inside, catching only the tail end of your conversation.

“My pseudonym. We were trying to come up with one.”

“Lily.” Jay exclaimed. “It’s a reference to your last name and also you’re pretty and precious like a flower.”

“Aww.” The boys cooed and Jay gave them the side eye. After greeting his friends he dragged you outside the small room.

Leaning against the wall, he pulled you close, slinging his arms around your waist.

“Hi.” He half-whispered and kissed you until you were out of breath.

“Someone’s going to see us.”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Everyone knows.”

“So why didn’t you kiss me in front of everyone then?”

“Because you’re mine!”

***

[rowanaelinn]

Illicit Affairs - Chapter One

Warning: Mention of death | Word count: 4k

I will try to update this as quickly as I can! But I can’t promise a weekly update :(

The warm weather of Doranelle allowed Aelin to enjoy her night without needing more than her thin sundress. Or maybe it was the alcohol, she didn’t know. She hadn’t drunk that much if she was being honest, not enough to be really drunk but enough to call this a celebration. “This” was just her, sitting in her backyard as she drank. Today she tried to prove that “the more the merrier” wasn’t always true.

She snorted, who was she kidding? Certainly not herself, but her tough act was good enough for her parents to believe it. That was good. She didn’t need to convince anyone else.

Aelin sighed as she let her upper body fall on the freshly cut grass, looking at the stars. She must look tragic from the outside, she thought. Maybe if any of her neighbors saw her from their window, they’d invent a nice story as to why twenty-year-old Aelin Galathynius was laying down in the grass when she wore a white dress with a bottle of beer she couldn’t legally drink in her hand.

Anything they made up in their mind must be better than the reality. Maybe she broke up with her boyfriend. We haven’t seen him visit ever since spring break started, she imagined the old lady who lived in the house on the left of Aelin’s say to one of her numerous cats. She didn’t know why men were always the first thing people thought of when they saw a heartbroken woman. Aelin liked to think she wasn’t so cliché, but Chaol hadn’tvisited in the entire week. She was to blame for it, she was the one who rejected any kind of affection lately.

She wanted affection, she wanted someone to take her in their arms and tell her that everything would be fine. She didn’t know why but what her mind wanted and what it let other people do was different. She was sure that aching for love but being repulsed by it at the same time wasn’t normal, but she lived by the principle that ignorance was bliss. If she pretended that something did not exist, then it didn’t.

It was fairly easy, and had worked for her for a while. Though she knew at one point it’d stop working. She knew that one day, everything she had ignored would come back and hit her in the face. But she ignored that, too.

She didn’t bother raising up as she brought the bottle to her lips, spilling the sticky liquid on her face. Aelin laughed, the ridiculousness of the situation too hilarious for her to care about laughing alone.

“Well,” a deep voice interrupted her thoughts, “That’s classy.”

Aelin raised her torso and turned around too quickly for her head to follow, her vision slightly blurred. She found a man standing behind her, not close enough for her to have heard him coming but close enough that he saw everything that had just happened.

She studied him, the way one of his hands was tucked into his black pants, his white shirt shining with the moon’s dim light. Even from where she sat, she could see how beautiful his face was. His sharp jawline and cheekbones were, but it wasn’t what struck her the most. No, it was either his deep green eyes or his hair so light they could be silver. Maybe Aelin was drooling, but when he looked down at her with an eyebrow raised, she gained back her composure swiftly.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Are you drunk?”

“No, I’m not drunk.”

“Hello Not Drunk, I’m Rowan.”

Did he just? Aelin barked a laugh, holding her hand in front of her mouth to keep it together. “That is the worst joke I’ve ever heard.”

“Is it, really?”

“Yes.”

He smiled, “Why are you laughing then?”

“Because it’s hilariously bad!” She managed to stop laughing but her lips were still spread in a smile, “Seriously, man. Don’t ever do that again.”

“Ah,” he said. “I can’t promise that. Not after the laugh it earned.”

Aelin rolled her eyes, shaking her head. He had told her his name, so she guessed she could do the same. “I’m Aelin.”

“Let me guess, you’re Evalin and Rhoe’s daughter.”

Aelin acted surprised, putting a hand on her chest, “How did you know? What betrayed my secret? Was it my eyes or the hundreds of pictures of me inside that house?”

“It was the attitude, you have quite a reputation.” Aelin laughed at that, it was true.

“And let me guess, you’re one of the numerous guests my parents are hosting tonight?”

He winked at her, “Now you know my secret, too. We’re even, Aelin.”

He was from Doranelle, she could say so just by the way he said her name, with the way his accent sent shivers down her spine. Aelin wasn’t native from here, her parents and she had moved from Terrasen a few years back. “I guess we are.”

“Can I sit here?” He nodded to the place right next to her.

“I don’t think your pants think it’s a good idea.”

“They agree probably more than your dress.”

Aelin bit the inside of her lip as he nodded, wrapping her arms around her knees when Rowan sat beside her. He was so big, but Aelin didn’t feel suffocated by his presence. From here, Aelin could see him better. He was older than her, that much was sure. If he was here today it meant he worked with her parents, and everyone knew that doctors, and even more surgeons, started working late. “Are you a resident?”

He nodded, sipping from his own bottle of beer. “I still have two more years to go.”

Aelin whistled in admiration as she did the maths in her head. He had to be around thirty, give or take. “Speciality?”

“Neuro.”

“So you’re one of the pretentious ones,” Aelin chuckled, taking a sip of her drink. When he looked at her, she explained, “My father said to beware of the Neuro and the Cardio. Apparently, you guys have a head too big to even enter the operating room.”

Rowan barked a laugh, “Your father realizes he is the chief of Neuro, right?”

Aelin nodded and smiled, “That’s why he knows it. Rhoe Galathynius’ ego is bigger than most of the buildings in this town.”

“What about you?” He asked. “You’re what, nineteen?”

“Twenty today.” Aelin said, but her voice had lost some of her strength. Everything was okay and good as long as she didn’t start crying.

“It’s your birthday?” He seemed surprised, and Aelin only nodded as she threw him a small smile. “Then what are we doing here? Shouldn’t you be busy destroying this house with your friends?”

Aelin snorted, remembering how she had stayed over to college the year before and how drunk she had been. Actually, it was her first birthday with her parents since the incident, she had always found ways to distract herself. But maybe it  was her growing up or just her being sick of always doing the same thing, but she decided to spend her birthday with her parents. “My birthday is not something we celebrate in this family.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “I don’t want to talk about that.”

He got the hint because he changed the subject, “I imagine you’re in college, what do you study?”

“I’m a biology major.”

“Let me guess,” Aelin internally smirked. They had met minutes ago but they kept making guesses at each other, even if every time it was far too easy. “After that, you’re going to med school.”

“Bullseye.”

“Surgeon?”

“As it is written in my genes.” She mumbled, her eyes fixed to the trees in front of her.

“What was that face?”

“What face?” She frowned, finding back her teasing smile.

“That face you just made.”

“I don’t have a face.”

He raised an eyebrow, surprise all over his face. “You don’t have a face?”

“Nope.” She shook her head, her  Why? Do you see a face?”

He made a show of thinking, humming noises coming out of him. “Pretty sure I do, yeah.”

Aelin’s breath quickened as her hands touched all over her face, “Oh, gods, doctor you have to help me, I didn’t have a face this morning. Is this serious? Could I die from it?”

He looked at her and thought, his intense gaze burning her skin. “I think you need further examinations. Come see me tomorrow at noon, and maybe I’ll find what is happening to you.”

Aelin flushed at this. Maybe she was acting like a schoolgirl, but she didn’t know if he was serious about wanting to see her tomorrow. Not that it’d matter.

“Thank you, doctor! You’re saving my life,” she made doe-eyes at him, the ones she had practiced on every man she had ever met. “What can I do to repay you?”

It was over for him then, he couldn’t contain his laugh anymore. “You have the audacity to complain about my jokes just for your humor to be worse than mine.”

“How dare you!” She slapped his arm, but it was hard to keep her own laugh inside. It was relaxing to laugh and not care about anything else. Just her, this almost stranger and awful jokes.

“How about you tell me why you seemed like the least happy person in the world when you talked about you as a surgeon?”

Aelin sighed, she never told anyone that. She didn’t even let anything think it wasn’t her biggest dream to become a surgeon, but strangely she wanted to tell this man everything. So, Aelin did. “You don’t really say no to the people who pay for your education. Or for everything else.”

Rowan frowned, “Your parents force you to become a surgeon?”

“Well, in some sort of way. Yes.”

He seemed even more confused, “What do you mean by “in some sort of way”? Did they tell you it was either become one of us or being disowned?”

Aelin shook her head, “It’s complicated.”

“I’m sure I can follow.”

His smile was encouraging as if he was pushing her to speak for her sake and not just for his curiosity. Something in his eyes said I’m just a stranger, what I think doesn’t matter. Just speak, it helps.

So, Aelin opened her phone and went to her photos app, the photos she wanted to show weren’t hard to find as they were the only ones she added to her favorites.

She was sure her smile turned watery as she clicked on one of them, her heart aching. Silently, she gave her phone to Rowan who threw a look at the picture. She anxiously waited, her hands were moist as she kept fidgeting her fingers. She was sure that by the end of the night, her lip would be bloody. “You are a sister.”

“A twin,” Aelin explained.

“Gods,” he breathed, “You two look exactly the same.”

Aelin smiled, it was true. She still remembered how many times they had switched names and pretended to be the other. “What’s her name?” Rowan asked, giving back her phone to Aelin.

“Celaena,” she smiled, holding back the tears in her eyes. She couldn’t cry. She couldn’t. Not after she had been so strong the entire day.

“Isn’t it her birthday too, then? Where is she?”

“Well, you see. I’m almost six feet while she’s six feet under,” Aelin said, taking a sip of her beer. When Rowan’s face decomposed, she registered what she just said and then… And then she burst out laughing. The worst was that it wasn’t even funny. She slapped a hand on her mouth, “I’m sorry.”

She couldn’t stop laughing, though. Not as Rowan looked confused and frowned, “That was a joke?”

Aelin nodded, “Yes. But no.”

“Yes but no?”

She took a deep breath, “Celaena is six feet under, but I just never said it out loud before? And I don’t know why it made me laugh that a joke about my height was the first thing that came into my mind.”

Had she drunk more than she thought? Or maybe it was the heat, she didn’t know. Gods, couldn’t have she just said “oh yeah, she’s dead”?

“It’s okay,” Rowan said. She was relieved he didn’t call her a weirdo or something along those lines. “Everyone deals with grief differently. Some do it by crying, you apparently hoped for the shitty humor.”

Aelin’s mouth was wide open, “I just told you I lost my sister! You can’t be mean to me!”

“Can’t I?” He snickered, and Aelin only rolled her eyes. “When did it happen?”

“When we were fifteen,” Aelin explained, not really wanting to get into more details. It was already a miracle she had said as much. She hadn’t spoken Celaena’s name in years.

“Do you miss her?”

Aelin nodded, hugging her knees once more. “Very much.”

“I feel like you wouldn’t like it if I say I’m sorry.”

“You’re right,” Aelin breathed. “People always say that, as if their words would make it less painful. Them being sorry doesn’t mean my sister will come back to life. They aren’t even sorry most of the time, they just want something to say because otherwise, they’ll look like assholes. I’m not the one people should apologize to, she is the one who didn’t get to live.”

“I never saw things this way,” Rowan said. “But I think in some sense you’re right.”

“Of course I am,” she teased him. “Anyway. Celaena she… Gods, I don’t think I’m dumb, but Celaena was ten times smarter than me. She’s always been into science and all. I’m not talking about being good at it, she was passionate about it. She wanted to be a surgeon like my parents, they always took her to the hospital with them. I tagged along but it was never my thing, you know?”

Rowan nodded, and Aelin found out that talking was pretty liberating. No matter that it wouldn’t change a thing. “When she died it was so quiet at home, my mother stopped talking for months. I was so angry and dad… Dad looked dead. One day in a conversation he asked me what I wanted to do in my future and I don’t know why I said maybe a surgeon. Then my mother talked. She broke a four-month-long silence to tell me it was an amazing idea.”

“Let me guess,” he said, tearing a smile out of Aelin. “You feel like if you change your mind then your parents won’t be happy.”

“Bingo.”

“You can’t live for them, Aelin. You need to work on your life to make yourself happy. Your parents lost a child and it’s immensely sad, but you can’t just live for them? You can’t give them the illusion that she’s still here.”

Give them the illusion that she’s still here. Aelin hadn’t realized it was what she was doing. She guessed it was true, though.

“I’m ready to bet that you won’t listen to me.”

Aelin’s closed around the back of her neck, her nails scratching her skin. “I can’t.”

He smiled, nudging her shoulder. “You’ll see one day or another. You need to be yourself, not Celaena.”

She didn’t know what to say to that, so she just smiled. “It’s crazy.”

“What’s crazy, princess?”

Princess. Fuck, she didn’t like how her stomach twisted at this word.

“I barely know you but I told you more about me than to anyone else.”

Rowan chuckled, “Sometimes, there are people with you you’ll feel a connection. It feels good when it happens.”

“It never happened to me before,” she admitted.

And in a moment of vulnerability, he said, “Me neither.”

“Tell me something about yourself,” she whispered, her head resting on her knees as she looked at him.

He took a deep breath and Aelin almost chuckled, wanting to ask him how he felt now that he was the one to speak and not to listen. But then, he opened his mouth. “My parents died in a car crash when I was ten. I was in the car.”

Oh, gods. Aelin covered her mouth with a hand and nodded to tell him to keep going.

“I never told anyone that, but I wasn’t unconscious. I should have been but I think the shock kept me awake. My father was on the ground bleeding. I just stood there, watching him bleed out. I couldn’t move, no matter how much my brain screamed to my muscles to move, to just do something. Anything. I didn’t.”

That must have been traumatic, especially for someone so young. She suddenly realized how easy the words “I’m sorry” came into mind when someone told you how broken they were.

“His brain was bleeding, he died on his way to the hospital. I know I couldn’t have done anything, I know that. But I still want to be a neurosurgeon because I want to be able to save someone’s dad.”

“I’m sure he’s proud of you.”

Rowan smiled weakly, the tears in his eyes mirroring her own. “They are proud of us.”

Aelin wanted to deny it, wanted to say that Celaena would have never played a role just to please their parents and that she was stronger than that, but she didn’t. It was so much easier to live when she imagined her sister smiling at her.

Aelin held her drink to Rowan, “To dead people.”

He chuckled, “To the impact they still have on us.”

Their bottles clicked together and they drank, Aelin finishing her last bottle of the night. She didn’t want to drink more, not when so many of her parents’ co-workers were in her house. “We should head back,” Rowan said.

Indeed, it was quite late. She hadn’t noticed how much they talked. “Fine.”

He stood first, and Aelin found out he was a gentleman as he held out his hand to get her up. She shivered as his strong hand closed around hers and she yelped as his strength brought her on her feet but much closer to him than she thought she’d be.

He was taller than her by five inches, but it didn’t prevent their breath from mingling. His eyes were deep enough Aelin felt like she could drown in them, and as they lowered to her lips, Aelin’s heart almost burst out of her chest. One of his hands clasped around her waist, pushing her just a little closer to him.

Slowly, her hand trailed up his arms, coming to rest on his neck.  it was her time to look at his lips, she was hit with the urge to trace them with the tip of her thumb. And because it was her birthday, because she could, Aelin did. His breath hit her skin and her eyes almost fluttered closed. “Tell me no,” he whispered. “Stop me.”

“I don’t want you to stop,” she breathed, and it was true. This man had understood her more than anyone else in her life, she wanted to know everything about him so how about how his lips tasted?

“Fuck, Aelin,” he groaned but in a softness that didn’t match his voice, he slowly lowered his head until their lips brushed, Aelin’s finger pushed away. “I really want to kiss you.”

“Why don’t you do it, then?”

“I will.”

“I’m waiting,” Aelin chuckled to his lips. And as he went to kiss her, as Aelin’s body was preparing itself for the feeling, her phone rang, breaking the magic. “Fuck,” she swore, bending to get her phone back from here it was on the grass.

Chaol.

Shit, shit, shit. Did it make her a bad girlfriend if she said she forgot about him? It probably did, she’d just ignore that. “I need to take that, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said, then cleared his throat. “I should go inside.”

Aelin was torn between throwing her phone away and kissing the hell out of this man or being a decent human being. Her morals won this time. “Yeah, I agree.”

He hesitated, looking back and forth between her and the door but then awkwardly waved, “See you.”

Chaol wanted to check on her and she was hit by a wave of guilt at the sweetness of the act. She couldn’t help but hate how he treated her as if she was two steps away from breaking, as if she was fragile and needed protection.

In a moment of light, Aelin had the good sense to go change herself in her room. She didn’t want to embarrass herself with grass all over her dress in front of dozens of old people. And Rowan. Maybe she chose her black dress with a low neckline (not lot low enough to be indecent) with him in mind. It was harmless, it was what she told herself.

She snatched a glass of wine from the table after she walked down the stairs. She looked out of place, barely twenty in a room where the youngest people were ten years older than her. But she was used to it, had grown up this way. Her parents always threw a dinner party on her birthday, not to celebrate her or even their other daughter, no, they wanted a distraction.

“Fireheart!” Her mother called. Aelin turned around to find her mother talking with her father, a sweet beautiful woman and… Rowan. The woman’s arm was locked with Rowan’s and they were both too close to be friends. Aelin’s heart was beating fast and loud as she let her mom take her hand and include her in the conversation.

“This is my precious daughter, Aelin. Aelin, this is your father’s favorite resident, not that he’ll admit it, Rowan Whitethorn with his wife Lyria.”

“Hello,” Lyria, the woman on Rowan’s side, welcomed her warmly.

Wife.

Rowan was married. How the hell had she missed that. Did he not think it was important enough to mention it during their conversation? Her eyes went for his left hand and her heart nearly stopped. There was a ring, but Aelin hadn’t seen it. Hadn’t paid attention to the jewel in the darkness.

“Are you alright, darling?” Her father asked, and Aelin realized she must have been stoic for a few moments. She shook her head and smiled brightly.

“Always, dad. I’m sorry, I’m exhausted,” she looked at Rowan and Lyria. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” she smiled warmly. She was going to say something, Aelin knew it but she couldn’t hear it. Wouldn’t hear it.

She turned to her mother, “I’m sorry for interrupting, but I wanted to ask if Chaol could come here and spend the night?”

Her father frowned but Evalin just smiled. It was a difficult night for the three of them, so her mother probably just assumed Aelin needed the comfort. In reality, she needed a distraction. “No problem, Fireheart. You know we love Chaol.” But as the hostess she was, her mother didn’t leave people in the dark, “Aelin and her boyfriend are high-school sweethearts. They followed each other to college but still are inseparable. You know how young love is.”

That was wrong. Inseparable was the opposite of what she and Chaol were, but she didn’t call her mother out on her lie. Rowan slightly frowned at the mention of her boyfriend but she ignored it. He was married, he had no right to have a reaction. Lyria beamed, “That’s so sweet. I married my high-school boyfriend, I wish you the same.”

Aelin politely smiled, “Thank you. I hope you’re having a great evening.” Then she left.

She’d probably be called out by her parents for her improperness tomorrow but she didn’t care. She didn’t know why it affected her so much. she had met him an hour ago, but she had left so much in this hour. So much more than she had in years.

Of course, the only man that made her heart swell had to be married. Married to someone that could only be described as Aelin’s opposite. She was so, so, screwed.

••••••

@sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove // @imnotsogoodatthis // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney // @feysand-loml // @themoonthestarsthesuriel // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler // @loves-books // @fangirlprincess09 // @theysayitscrazy // @hellasblessed // @danibutterr // @endlessdaydream // @thegreyj // @gracie-rosee // @acreativelydifferentlove // @cretaceous-therapod // @louphantomdragon // @miss-lil-red // @backtobl4ck // @whoever-you-choose-to-love // @lemonade-coolattas // @mad-madeline-ace // @the-introverted-reader

[thetadispatcher]

Strasky forgot about the advertisements existing as it had been awhile since he'd encountered one, so he jumped and made an unintelligible noise out of fright. Once he calmed down he gave the advertisement an offended look and scrunched up his nose at it, like he was trying to intimate it into going away.

He returned his gaze to her, listening to her explain the living arrangements Carthage had. "Sounds like PATHOS-II, just enough room for a bed and a work station, maybe a few personal items. My Dispatch room was a lot bigger then my quarters so that's why I basically lived in my work room. More area and less of a chance I'd bruise myself running into things." His first week had ended with one of his legs almost being entirely covered in bruises from him knocking into the work station in his quarters.

"Yeah, I can believe that. Strohm broke Carthage policy when he broke into Mark's room after he died, but Carthage wasn't around to do anything about it so all that came of it was Mark's theory getting around and people believing it." Which he supposed was enough punishment for entering Mark's quarters, considering how many people died as a result of Mark's ridiculous belief.

Strasky listened to the woman and Rook talk then smiled and pulled on the bag's strap to help prove Rook's cover story, feeling it was the least he could do to collaborate the story. "Thanks, have a good day, ma'am." He bowed his head to the woman.

"Oh, sorry. I guess I should've expected that, but at least they still accept what I have on me." He shrugged, at least the money wouldn't be sitting in his wallet for 40 years until it wouldn't be alarming to spend it. "I'm from North England. But you really can't tell anymore since I kinda lost it over the years working on PATHOS-II. I just kinda adapted to speaking like Strohm and the other Americans."

He quickly followed her so he wouldn't wind up being dragged, glancing back at Carthage over his shoulder before he focused on what was ahead of him so he wouldn't run into anything or anyone. He looked around whenever he felt it was safe to do so, taking not of the various things he saw and how he felt almost uneasy, but he knew it was because the place looked like home but not quite that was causing it.

He looked at the implants on display in the shop window then looked at his hand and the sparse structure gel nodules on it, he felt one robotic eye and a battery pack to run it was more then enough for him. It was the bare minimum he needed to function as a digital brain running a reanimated corpse and he liked himself just fine the way he was, but he understood why some people might want implants and he wasn't going to judge them for it.

Strasky turned his head away from the display to get her his attention when she started talking to him. "Seems like something they'd do. Carthage had their own base back home just like PATHOS-II.... And now that I think about it I don't see why we had to house the WAU when they could've done that themselves instead of making the three employees of theirs we had report back on how it was doing." He shook his head, it was probably some business thing he wouldn't understand so he couldn't be upset by companies simply doing business with each other as that was a normal thing to do. "But at least the employees get along with the people here well enough, that's nice of them." He had done his best to get along with the three Carthage employees on PATHOS-II, and sure they didn't seem to appreciate his offer of friendship but Mark accepted it as they had to work together on Theta.

He turned his head to see what she was looking at then dug into his pocket to pull out his wallet. He felt the cash he had should be fine to spend as it wouldn't be considered odd if someone looked at the date on it. So he placed his wallet into he free had and motioned to the food cart with his head, silently giving her permission to get what she wanted.

[willowcrowned]

The Sugar Baby Ben AU

The premise: Obi-Wan and Anakin from the end of ROTJ get sent back to the Jedi Temple during TPM. Obi-Wan is confused, Anakin is confused, Mace Windu is very confused, and Vokara Che is also very confused. (It’s fine, it’s not like anyone relies on the Jedi for their intelligence anyways.) 

So what happens after they get where and who they are sorted out?

Well:

Anakin kills Sidious. He may be small, and blond, and just the cutest little kid, but he has several decades worth of fury directed at the man, and he’s still pretty much a Sith Lord (if a reformed one). It is very violent, and very worrying to anyone who sees it except for Obi-Wan. (In the absence of any convenient reactor shafts to toss the bitch down, Anakin resorts to a combination of lethal use of the Force and a blaster, just for good measure. They’re cleaning Sidious’s guts off his office carpet for years after the fact.)

Then, while the Jedi are trying to get a handle on the fact that (a) Sith exist, (b) time travel exists, and (c) the tiny adorable boy Qui-Gon Jinn brought back actually is horribly dangerous, Anakin runs off. He grabs his mother, slaughters a couple slavers indiscriminately, which Shmi feels obligated to chastise him for, even if she isn’t that horrified, and they go to Naboo.

To everyone but Obi-Wan’s surprise, Anakin lasts about two weeks on Naboo. A month or so later, the Jedi start hearing rumors about a small, dark-cloaked figure with a red lightsaber who leaves entire slave markets to burn. They don’t hear about the woman with him, who holds him back and calms his rage, who can stop her son when he needs to be stopped and hold him when he needs to be held. (Obi-Wan knows that she’s there anyways, and he sends her the number of a good therapist.)

So, what is Obi-Wan doing during all of this?

Short answer: scandalizing every jedi on coruscant

Slightly longer answer: scandalizing every jedi on coruscant by having ridiculous amounts of sex

Look at it from his perspective: he’s surrounded by that which he loves best, knows that the Republic isn’t doomed, and for the first time in twenty three years, he has a body— a twenty five year old body that looks exactly like a twenty five year old Ewan McGregor.

The thing is, while Obi-Wan looks like a twenty five year old Ewan McGregor (who is, if i may say, Peak Babie), he’s actually around sixty. This means that he’s not particularly attracted to any of the people his “age.” (Children, they’re all of them children. he’ll stop saying it when Vos stops acting like it.)

What does this mean?

Obi-Wan goes after milfs and dilfs and pilfs (parents id like to fuck) of ALL sorts. Ten legs and a tentacle? Amazing. Totally incompatible genitals? Time to get creative! Technically a plant? He can make it work. 

(Credit to @nevertheless-moving for having the obi-wan milffucker idea. she is a genius.)

Thing is, he’s not really having to look that hard. Tons of people live on the upper levels. And you know what people on the upper levels are like? Rich. Very rich.

(It’s worth noting that not a single one believes him when he says he’s a Jedi. Everyone knows that Jedi are dignified. Ben Kenobi, the kid who’s fucking his way through Coruscant’s upper social strata, is not necessarily dignified.)

(It’s also worth noting that none of them tell him that they don’t believe it. Maybe it’s a sex thing, who cares. He’s hot enough that his weirdness is charming.)

(Obi-Wan knows they don’t believe him. He’s waiting for the perfect moment to do a triple backflip out the window while igniting his saber. He’s only going to get this chance once, after all.)

Cue all the rich milfs and dilfs and pilfs giving Obi-Wan tons of expensive gifts. And, alright, the first few are nice; it has been so long since he’s had a bath, let alone a bath bomb, and this one has— wait, is that solid gold? But his apartment is only so big.

Initially, he gives the gifts to whomever he can foist them off on. The problem with trying to foist solid gold bongs or jeweled cock rings or whatever off on jedi is that even though jedi aren’t technically ascetics,  they’re still not that into pleasures of the flesh.

so Obi-Wan sells them on space ebay

(Another note: the people who check space ebay for scams flag obi-wan’s account multiple times, and every. single. time. he manages to prove that not only is he a real person, not only does he have the exact item he’s advertised, but that he is genuinely trying to get rid of his third diamond-encrusted collar of the week. the people at space ebay start asking if he’s got anything he wants to give them once a week. he always does.)

With the frankly obscene amount of money Obi-Wan is making off this operation, he decides to do a few things.

First and foremost: buy himself a nice stock of robes

Second: start pouring money into certain senators’ campaigns

Third: start buying and sending Anakin and Shmi gifts by way of guessing which Hutt they’re going to slaughter next and postmarking the box for Anakin and Shmi but sending it to the Hutt’s address

(Anakin is very touched. Shmi is very worried until she realizes that Obi-Wan is sending checks for Anakin’s therapy as well as hers in the gift baskets. Then she just enjoys them.)

So, on one end, you have Anakin and Shmi putting an end to brutal regimes on the Outer Rim, while bonding and going to therapy. On the other end, you have Obi-Wan funding every single political campaign that he has the mildest interest in while having incredible amounts of fantastic sex.

The Jedi are still confused, horrified, and a little bit angry— both at Anakin for being an Evil Murder Lord, and Obi-Wan for being so blasé about it

As it happens, one of Obi-Wan’s major interests is in decreasing the influence the Senate has on the Jedi. Unfortunately for the Jedi, this means less power.

One year to the day after Anakin and Obi-Wan go back in time, the Jedi Order officially establishes itself as an independent body, Anakin and Shmi finish installing their third democracy on a previously Hutt-owned world, and Obi-Wan is nearly assassinated, at which point he jumps out the window of the orgy he was just participating in, shirtless and brandishing a lightsaber. It becomes a national holiday.

The End.

(A final note: Obi-Wan tracks Maul down after a while, buys him a drink, and forces him into therapy. Maul starts leading whitewater rafting trips for money, and years later Obi-Wan runs into him again, shirtless and wet. They don’t sleep together, but it’s a close thing. After all, all’s well that ends well, and the galaxy is safe.)

[undercaffinatednightmare]

I created an enormous project for myself and focused on a weird spot. I’m still posting and hoping for the best.

Oh look! Guess what’s finally getting kickstarted?

And what am I starting with….our beloved Captain dealing with the aftermath of Madame de Pompadour.

I used one curse word, hinted at Emma making bad choices, and yes, Killian was a dummy in France.

After…The Girl in the Fireplace

August still looked at him as if he could burn a hole straight through him. Emma avoided him as if her life depended on it and while The Captain could take a guess or two at why, August seemed to understand every silent gesture she made. He hoped Emma would eventually just tell him what was going on, but he didn’t expect the silent treatment from August as well.

Instead, the other man left a photo on the table in the galley. Emma and a man he’d never seen, smiled at each other in the photo. Bloody hell she was young. There was no tension or unease in her expression; just a young woman in love. The only thing written on the back was Portland 2016. He set a course for Storybrooke.

Emma hugged her aunts and disappeared into her room. The Captain was surprised by the silence that communicated everything between the family. Ruby spared him a glare that some species may have used to set him on fire. He scrubbed a hand over his jaw.

“Belle?” I’ve, uh, got some maintenance that needs done. I’ll be back.” He was worried about his Swan.

“Do you know who had to tell Emma her parents weren’t ever coming back?” Belle asked him as she stepped closer to him. “I’ve had to break her heart enough, Captain. If you’re going to be one more, you’re on your own.”

The Captain walked back to where he’d parked the Jolly. There was more going on than any of them felt he deserved to understand. “Alright, I know you’re mad at me too.” He said once back at the console. “I know I need to apologize. For more than just France. What do you suggest?”

The Jolly landed roughly. His ship’s irritation with him grew with every passing moment. He needed to fix this. Fix them before his beloved TARDIS mutinied against him. In all his years traveling, he’d never tried finding his companions in an entire city. His rubbed his chest as the thought pained him. Emma was more than a companion. She was his friend, wasn’t she?

She was more than that. This regeneration had been all about her. Both hearts focused on what could make her happy. The way she’d looked at him…

The Jolly sent the mental equivalent of a slap to his head. His previous self hadn’t explained regeneration.

Bloody hell. I’ll talk to her. Why are we here? He asked the Jolly.

He rolled his eyes just like Emma always did at his ship’s silence. How was silence so bloody deafening? He checked his device to note the date and place. Emma’s goading was the only reason the ridiculous device existed.

You never check the ship first, you just walk out and blow someone’s day out of the water.

Just proves you shouldn’t run off, love

Whatever helps you sleep at night, Captain. We both know running off is part of it. This would make sure you don’t forget the vital part of history, like when the planet is due to explode for the next freeway.

Bloody hell. Are you reading Douglas Adams again? I told you it was a joke at a pub with Darillion rum.

The reading made his stomach tighten -

Earth

Portland, Oregon

22 Oct 2016

He found a library where a girl stood outside with her plaid dress, denim jacket, and combat boots fidgeting with her phone as she adjusted her glasses. She seemed oblivious to the way men stared at her. He tapped down the instinct to protect her. This Emma didn’t know him.

Her phone lit up and she smiled for a moment before she read the text. It was like watching her heart shatter. One moment and the shining innocence that burned so brightly in Henry was snuffed out.

Something clattered from her pocket and landed on the ground. She stared at it before storming down the street heedless of the tears running down her face. He walked over and picked it up. The plastic piece seemed familiar, but he couldn’t place it.

It smelled of chemicals, plastic, ammonia and hormones. Bloody hell the hormones. He pulled out his sonic and fiddled with it until he got a reading. Pregnant. Emma was… that was when she found out about Henry.

It took him longer than he expected to find her. She was in one of the giant box stores that carried almost everything.

You humans! Why do you need one store?

Sometimes you don’t know what you need until you’re staring at it.

What does that mean?

It means, that some nights you’re alone and don’t know if you need a drink, medicine, ice cream or a freaking stuffed sloth.

He found her sitting in the aisle by herself staring at a collection of things - ice cream, alcohol, ginger soda, and an open box of cookies - as she stared at a colorful box. She placed it beside her and picked up a book of baby names. Tear streaks shone on her face. Her timelines splintered and he understood the weight of what this moment was.

She looked up at him and started to say something when she clamped her mouth shut and looked panic stricken. He rushed over and helped her to a nearby trash can.

“Everything alright, lass?” He asked pulling her hair back from her face.

“Do I fucking look alright?” She sobbed.

Don’t use science when women are crying. “No, lass, you don’t. You look like you’ve had a terrible night.” He walked back to get the bottle of soda and the ice cream.

“Liquor is quicker.” She quoted. “Do I want to know where this spoon has been?”

He hated seeing her eyes so full of tears. Some day, she’d want to know everything. Some day, she’d go through everything in his pockets. “It’s clean and, uh, bloody hell, lass I can go get one from a box if you’d prefer. I panicked.”

“You panic when strange women cry in store aisles?” She sniffled and took a bite of the ice cream.

“Yeah I do. Any man in his right mind panics when a woman cries.” He stammered and scratched behind his ear. The only time he recalled panicking when a woman cried was when it was her. Only her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She gave him the same side eye he loved now. “Do I want to talk about why I’m crying into ice cream in the back of the store? With a stranger?”

“If it’s so upsetting you’re not ready to discuss it on the phone with those closest to you, why not a stranger?” He shrugged. How had it always been this easy with her?

Taking a deep breath, she turned and looked at him. “So pretend you’re my family?” He nodded and tried to hide it as one of his hearts broke for her. “You were right. He was an asshole who didn’t really want me. He found someone…better. But it’s okay because he’s never coming back for me and I’m stuck 3000 miles away, I stole a soda and ice cream, puked on a stranger and I’m pregnant.” She put the ice cream down and hugged her knees as she started sobbing again.

“Come here, love.” He whispered and opened his arms. She threw herself into his embrace and cried like her world had ended. “It’s going to be alright, love. It’s brilliant that you’re having a baby.”

“But I’m all alone.” Her voice cracked.

This was the feeling he’d been trying to avoid. This feeling of falling apart without her to put him back together. It’s why he pushed her away. She was the one person who could utterly destroy him. And he knew he would destroy everything for her.

“You don’t have to be.” He told her. “I bet any child you have will be bloody brilliant.”

“Maybe I should do better with my stranger danger conversation?” Her laugh was watery, but it sounded lighter. “No idea what to name him.”

“Him? You can so soon?” He brushed a hand over her hair.

“No, but I’m already calling the little starfish him.” She admitted shyly.

He opened his mouth and closed it. “Any names you like?”

“My father was David. His brother was James. They were twins and shared the middle name Henry.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

She spoke of so much loss so young. He knew about her parents, had met them even. But now he was holding her wondering where the other people in her family were. Grandparents? Uncles? Cousins? Was it any wonder she risked so much when she met her family?

“If you’d like to call your family, I’d be happy to let you use my phone.” He said not wanting to let her go.

“You don’t have to do that.” She pulled back a little. “I mean I puked on you, yelled at you, and got snot on your coat.”

He chuckled and pulled his phone out. “It’ll all wash, love.”

She sat there for a moment and dialed the number. The Captain thanked the TARDIS for making sure it went through the right timeline. After a moment, she started crying again. He held up a finger to let her know he’d be right back. He picked up her ice cream and soda and went to find a register.

A stuffed sloth sat on a shelf across from where he stood. He ran over and picked it up before paying for everything. When he returned, she ran over and hugged him. “Thank you! They’re arranging for me to come home. For both of us.”

“That’s fantastic, love!” She looked confused at the sloth. “Uh, here! It’s for Henry.” He stumbled over his explanation.

“Henry?” She tilted her head at him.

“Isn’t that what you said?” Oh bloody hell. The timeline wavered in front of him. Both hearts thundered in his chest as he watched it snap into place when she smiled.

“Henry David.” She rubbed her stomach nervously. “I like it.”

The Captain watched her leave in an Uber for the airport. The TARDIS was already yelling at him to get back to her. His phone rang with an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I wanted to thank you again.”Emma told him.

“It was my pleasure, love.” He closed his eyes. “Lass? Some day soon, you’ll meet a man who will be so crazy about you and your boy, that he’ll do something stupid. Give him hell, but try not to give up on him. At least yet.”

“And when will I meet this idiot?” She giggled.

“You’ll know when you see him.” He promised. The Jolly ended the call and sent him back to Emma. I miss her too.

He opened the door and found the stuffed sloth in front of the door. His hands shook as he picked it up. “You’re an idiot.” She told him from the doorway.

“Aye.” The Captain scratched behind his ear. “I told you you’d meet an idiot.”

Her eyes flickered down to the sloth. “I slept with that thing every night of my pregnancy. It was the only thing that calmed Henry when he was a baby.”

He took a tentative step closer. “Some nights you need a stuffed sloth.”

She snorted a laugh and took the sloth back, hugging it. “You hurt me.”

“I know, love.” He whispered. “I could apologize in every language I know,” she inhaled sharply. Right. Humans are stupid except for Reinette. “But outside of standing here for hours, it wouldn’t change how I made you feel. The truth is, you scare me.” That surprised her. “I’m scared of how far I’d go to keep you with me or what I’d be capable of if I lost you.”

“There’s a word for that.” She told him.

“Not for Time Lords.” The Captain sighed.

Emma cupped his cheeks. “You’re an idiot.” His eyebrows hit his hairline. The contact gave him a fleeting view of her thoughts - anger, love, hurt, desire, amusement - but just beyond that were the golden eyes of Bad Wolf.

——————-

It’s not on AO3 yet. It’ll probably be this weekend when it gets posted.

Tag!

@teamhook @kmomof4 @everything-person @caught-in-the-filter @ilovemesomekillianjones @jonesfandomfanatic

[demcnsinmymind]

adeathsentence​:

Hayley let out a less-than-graceful snort at the quick amendment Lance made, but it was touching–how willing he was to throw himself into the line of fire for her child. “You know what? I didn’t think it was creepy, but that was actually really sweet. At least some people around here still have a heart.” She trusted very few people–even her own Pack at an arm’s length usually (and it broke her heart)–and maybe she couldn’t even trust somebody like Lance with her child, but she was learning to open up to others. Living on the road for so long and suddenly having someone she loved more than life itself really made Hayley have to rethink her priorities, especially when it used to be always her against the world.

Lately, her network had dramatically increased…and somewhat shrunk. Some of the most important people in her life were gone for good, distant, or in the wind, and that also made it increasingly difficult to afford trust in others, especially with Klaus as the Homicidal Baby Dad that he was. “Hey, you just be careful what you sign up for; I don’t want to ask anything of anyone that I wouldn’t do myself, but I also don’t want you getting hurt on our account…”

Her brow shot up at Lance’s little revelation regarding his preference. “Hmm, first time I heard someone say that…sad thing is, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’re a thing you’re born into, not made. Otherwise I’d make you an offer you wouldn’t refuse.” She laughed at the remark and shrugged. “Immortal dicks, though. You’ve got some perks there, Preston. I wouldn’t squander those. How’s that saying go? Smoke em if you got em? I guess for you it’s drinking, though. You know something? You’re not as much of a dick as you make yourself out to be; most wouldn’t offer to protect a baby that’s not theirs; I don’t think I’d call that person a dick.”

Lance let out a theatrical gasp and placed both his hands on his chest, right where his heart was. A while ago, he’d felt it try its very best to fight against the blood loss - only to lose. He’d felt it stop, an entirely horrible memory to this day. Yet at the same time, it made his reaction just so much funnier and ridiculous.

“A heart? Me?” he teased, only to give her a soft chuckle. Waving her off in a nonchalant manner, half prepared to consider this whole conversation done. But of course, in a way, it wasn’t. Naturally, and god bless this woman for her caring and fierce nature, she brought up the issue of him possibly getting hurt in the process. A snort escaped his nose, maybe louder and more dismissive than intended.

“Hey, don’t mention it. If you’re the big bad wolf, I guess you can consider me the cat-y type. Nine lives and always landing on my feet. I don’t get hurt and I don’t die, so there’s that.”

Had he been hurt in ways he couldn’t talk about to this day? Abso-freaking-lutely. Had he died already, proving his point void and a total lie? Yep. More than guilty. But the point still stood. He was still here. Living, more or less. Not to be brought down.

Lance gave her a disappointed pout when she mentioned being born into werewolfhood. “Who came up with those shitty rules? I say fuck ‘em. Oh well. No wolf Preston then, I guess. If anyone ever switches up the rule book, I’ll be first in line for that offer of yours though” he went on with a wink and a playful and friendly chuckle. Only to roll his eyes at her when she insisted that he had his perks. Sure enough, he knew he had them. Fucking oversold them every chance he got. With her though? He didn’t even know why, but he was more comfortable keeping the lies and fake confidence down a notch.

“Oh, you don’t know half about me. I could probably get you a trainload of people who’d be more than happy to confirm that I am in fact an immortal dick” he disagreed, only to give her a shrug. “One with an ounce of remorse and morals though. So...” he added, letting out a woeful sigh.

“Guess it just annoys the crap out of me when innocent people get hurt just to get some check marks on some sicko’s pretentious evil agenda. Hell, I don’t know. Call it a personal vendetta. Or hey, maybe that’s just your baby daddy rubbing off on me in all the wrong ways. He cares a lot about keeping her safe, so maybe he’s brainwashing me into caring about her too. Though truth be told, the fact that he does care to begin with still blows my mind. How’d you even do that?”