#but i guess my head would sometimes be like 'what if spn but they say fuck' and i'll be like oooohhh

[hauntedorpheum]

i am against spn reboot on principle, but i had a vision of a one special episode where they called all the cast back for one motw episode that happens post finale and fixes all that shit, but more importantly since the episode was made by a streaming service they were given a lot of liberty, and of course the two things they decided to add was 1) actual curse words and 2) dean smokes. And it was like understood that these two things always happened before we just didn't see it (ghostbusters episode). Anyway, all this is to said that the image i had of dean standing near the impala in a shitty motel with a cigarette with sam and cas casually getting out a lighter for him was very important and i need it to happen irl

[rosslovesspn]

I cannot explain in words how much joy Castiel has given me, just as a character. I relate to him so much. Every single time I see ‘Misha Collins’ at the start of an episode my heart jumps and I start screaming into the void. Scenes featuring him play over and over in my head 24/7. I am struggling so much right now, but I know that Castiel and Supernatural as a whole will always be there for me when I’m upset. He has given me so much happiness in such a difficult time and I will be forever grateful for Misha Collins and all the script writers of spn.

The reason I’m saying all this is because I want to discuss how fucking horrible it is to hate on someone for loving a character. A character that they love possibly more than anything else in this world, a character that could have given them the will to continue on and not commit fucking suicide. So I think it’s incredibly shitty when people say crap like “yeah we get it, shut up”, “no one cares” and “calm down, they’re not that cool.” Like, what the actual fuck.

You’ve essentially just told someone that their comfort character, the thing that could be SAVING THEIR FUCKING LIFE RIGHT NOW, is unimportant and that they’re ridiculous and childish for being excited about them, and by extension that they’re being ridiculous and childish for liking the character/media. I have experience with this, and for fuck’s sake please don’t do or say anything to that effect to ANYONE, no matter how ‘annoying’ they’re being, no matter how tired you are and no matter how bored you are of hearing about your friend’s hyper focus.

Because, yeah, I get it. It can be annoying sometimes, it can be tiring, and it can be fucking boring, but guess what. This character is their everything at the moment, and they want to tell their friends about it because sharing hyper focuses and fixations with someone you love is the best feeling ever. And if you can’t understand that, please get a fucking clue and cure your ignorance, whether your friend is neurodivergent or not.

And if you really, truly cannot deal with them at that moment, just say ‘Hey, I’m really sorry but I’m doing something right now. Can you tell me all about this later?’ Boom. It’s that simple, that’s all you need to do.

So please, please remember this post whenever your friend is ranting to you and you’re feeling frustrated. Please, please take into consideration that they will remember anything negative you say, and they will take all of it to heart. Take it from someone who’s friends and family frequently do the same to him, it fucking sucks, and if I didn’t have four other fucking amazing friends (shout out to Oli @1amore1, Ryu @wasted-potental-ryu, Oisín and Lau @laurie849) who understand what it’s like to love a show/character/book/whatever so much it physically hurts, then my mental state would be twice as bad as it is now, and it’s already pretty fucking bad.

So please, listen to me, and fucking stop.

Reblog to ensure as many people as possible read this.

[fivie]

A, E, T?

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

UMW is probably my favourite! I get annoyed with it sometimes and it's by no means perfect but if I didn't love it, there's no way I'd have stuck with it this long. If I ever manage to finish it, it'll be my proudest fanfic achievement 😂 It's hard to say exactly why it's my favourite. I suppose it lets me play with a lot of ideas that I would have liked to see explored in the Supernatural show. And Grantaire as an SPN!angel just really appeals to me. He believes in Enjolras because it's hardwired into him to believe in something. And of course it's a messy, complicated love story, which is my favourite sort 😂

E: What character do you identify with most?  Is there a certain fic of yours that captures these qualities particularly well?

I guess probably Grantaire? We all give Grantaire a dose of our own neuroses in fic, right? Right? I'm not the only one that does that?

T: Any fanfic tropes you can’t stand?

🤔🤔 That's tough! I think most tropes can be executed well. I can't think of one off the top of my head that I'd hate no matter what the specific story was like. I guess I'm not interested in High School AUs? But that's just bc I'm too old to want to read about the interpersonal drama of teenagers.

[justaboot]

Ahh, tagged by @hueberryshortcake (thanks! also this was the thing someone tagged me in and lost weeks ago so bless <3)

how many fics do you have on ao3?

omg 8, what even are they.

what's your total ao3 word count?

174,260 oh my GOd

what fandoms do you write for?

- I've only posted for DT but I've got a 10th Doctor/River fic in my drafts

what are your top five fics by kudos?

And a Sixpence in Your Shoe

In Situ

I've Got Time

Everyone Loves a Reunion (A come from behind win?)

Gentle as it Goes

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

- I try so hard to reply to everybody, but I've got weapons grade anxiety so sometimes I'm worried people will think I'm self-important. I've actually found I'm less likely to respond to tumblr mutuals? More anxiety? Unclear but I'm smashing my face into my hands at every comment.

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I can't handle ending on angst. Gentle as it Goes, definitely, but I hate it, I cannot handle splitting the party.

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sixpence definitely has the most Disney Fairytale Everything Works Out ending, but writing I've Got Time's button fixed something in me I think.

do you get hate on your fics?

The first comment I ever got ever was DellaHate gbless, thanks AO3 User DellaDuckShouldDie for your insightful comment of "Della Duck should be destroyed."

do you write smut?

I've written it for other things, I'm not shook by it and its a great storytelling tool just like everything else, but not cartoon characters. I...I have one explicitly human DT fic that. I. Well. We'll see. Its a genre test run for something original and they're pointedly human, but I guess I'll cop to that one?

do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've ever written?

I hate crossovers stay away from me I cant wrap my head around it

have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah. Where would you go with it, we're all in the same room.

have you ever had a fic translated?

No but that'd be so cool!

have you ever cowritten a fic before?

girlfriend and I made an absolute banger of a spn fic together on a 12 hour roadtrip. Its not written down but we've got it beat for beat.

what's your all time favorite ship?

The Doctor and River will never fail to make me lay down they're them I dont even know what to say

what's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

-I've got 1/3rd of an OG3 prequel episode fic written, but it has to be part of a series and that's just...not gonna happen.

what are your writing strengths?

oh god i dont know don't look at me dialogue? I get a lot of comments about in-character dialogue/behavior lets go with that.

what are your writing weaknesses?

I have "I'll finish it later, let me start this new one real quick" disease.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I haven't done so, I'm fine with French but I'm terrified across the board of The Comment From A Native Speaker.

first fandom you wrote for?

Let me tell you about Tid, my halfling OC based on my Lord of the Rings Online character who played very little of the actual game and just ran laps around the shire. Elementary school core.

favorite fic you've ever written?

I am putting Sixpence on the award shelf for having finished something so big and I've Got Time was me getting a good grade in therapy. Right now I'm actually really proud of Dear Fellow Traveller? They're just lil kids and omg they're swimming in the Little Lake watering hole in the sierras I did that how did the author know

Tagging.... @writebackatya and @shychick-52

[lochnesswriter]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks to @mayalaen for tagging me! (way too long ago lol)

First, my AO3

How many works do you have on AO3?

65

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

218,144

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Leverage, White Collar, 9-1-1 Lone Star, 9-1-1, MCU, Political Animals, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG1, Supernatural

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ice Cream and Therapy, First Dance, An Unexpected Party, Tales of Batman: Interlude I and The First Time

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, but sometimes I get miserably behind and then have to catch up all at once. But I cherish every one and I do enjoy interacting with readers

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Um, I'm not much for angst, but I guess Stay With Me. It's SPN/Leverage, and deals with Dean's demon deal

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Never Sees It Coming (Stargate Atlantis)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really, which I appreciate.

9. Do you write smut?

Not at all. I write a lot of spankings though, so different kink

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I love writing crossovers, and most of my fics have at least two fandoms involved. That said, the craziest one is absolutely Curse You, Steve the Seal, which is a crack drabble crossing Hawaii Five-0 with Phineas and Ferb (last time I ever ask for a fanfic prompt from someone who doesn't actually read/write fanfics.) But a close second would be Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Sore Butt, which I just finished. Leverage/White Collar/9-1-1/9-1-1 Lone Star, and an AU of two of my preexisting AUs. That was a wild ride.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Don't think so, though that would be cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not fanfic, no. I do have one series posted with a co-creator, but I am still waiting for said co-creator to actually co-create something instead of just throwing more prompts at me lol

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Not sure? I have ships I like, ships I don't like, but I don't know. Favorite to watch is probably Tarlos and Malec (helps that they're canon lol). Favorites to write would be Eliot/Quinn/Neal and John/Evan/Cam ( I love the polyamory lol)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Um. All the ones that I'm spending thought on, I probably will manage to finish? Otherwise I probably don't care about them enough at the moment to notice if I don't?

16. What are your writing strengths?

I love dialogue. It's so fun to just see what the hell the characters are gonna say/do next

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description and action. I can't actually picture anything in my head, so I find myself baffled that people might actually care about what the setting looks like/what's going on

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I won't do it, because I don't speak another language well enough and I don't trust Google translate, but if need be I'll probably pull a "she said in this language." When people do put other languages in dialogue I get frustrated that I can't read it, but I also understand that that's what it's like for the characters, too, so fair enough

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supernatural and Leverage (so many crossovers you guys)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I don't even know, I love all of them. At the moment, though, I've got a fondness for both Goodnight Moon and the follow-up Goodnight Nobody. They're Bucky-TJ fics that are just kinda cute and feelsy.

tagging (with no pressure or obligation): @actualalligator @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @trivalentlinks @friendly-chaos @snowviolettwhite and anybody else who wants to play! Please tag me so I can see your stuff 💜

[kyberblade]

twenty questions for fic writers

Thank you so much for the tag @littlemisspascal ❤️

1. how many works do you have on AO3? - For this account? 7. Altogether? *Looks off into the distance hauntedly* Too many…. 😮‍💨

2. what's your total AO3 word count? For here? 315,097 Altogether? *Twitches from flashbacks*

3. what fandoms do you write for? The Mandalorian and The Last Of Us.

4. top five fics by kudos

Back To You

Dincember 2022

Shatter

Drabbles || Din Djarin x Reader

Dincember 2023

5. do you respond to comments? I try to. Sometimes I don’t know what to say but I try to.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I guess that would have to be the end of the epilogue for BTY? It’s just kinda while happy, leaves you on a well damn note.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? If I say BTY people are gonna pitchfork me bc it’s a cut away before the good part. Um…. Probably the end of my Drabble Give it to Me in Basic.

8. do you get hate on fics? I have in other fandoms but not in these so far. 🤞🏻 I didn’t get any until people found out I was a “fake” fan for only seeing the movies and not having read the books yet and then it was a whole gatekeeping thing. Then suddenly my fics weren’t worth reading. 🙄 But, you know, we let shit go here.

9. do you write smut? I haven’t. I have written spice, and lots of heat, but I haven’t gotten that far yet. I don’t think I ever will. I’m an awkward turtle of a human.

10. craziest crossover: @fordo-kixed-rex and I have a crack fic idea for a Mando-TLOU crossover. 🤣🤣🤣 But I have actually written an SPN/Teen Wolf crossover once upon a time, and every time I read it again, I’m like, “Why didn’t this actually happen????”

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes, but not that I found it, it was pointed out to me. Once I lived through the massive FFnet duplicate debacle, but also I’ve had people ask me if I thought fics were copied.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Um…. I wanna say no but the back of my head is saying yes.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes. In my THG and Teen Wolf days I did it often. @grippingbeskar and I have teamed up a few times here. I say that. She writes awesome things and then I scream about them and make a few suggestions she turns into beautiful things.

14. all time favorite ship? Razor Crest. JK. The N1. JK JK JK!!! ….. Millennium Falcon. I’m just teasing. Chuck and Sarah from Chuck. “Tell me our story.” 😭 Nobody fucking touch me.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Some things from other fandoms, I’m sorry. Drama happened and you just…. There’s nothing there anymore. I’m sorry.

16. what are your writing strengths? I’d like to say fluff and being able to paint clear pictures (usually.) I’m told my dialogue is realistic and writing immersive, and fight scenes high gear, but idk about all that. I cringe at most all of what I write. I’m just glad if it’s not run on sentences or lots of “and”s and “quickly”s. These are just things I’ve been told. Most of the time I’m 🫣 when I go over what I wrote. And then I yeet it out to all of you.

17. what are your writing weaknesses? Listed above. I use too many words to say simple things. I say things very confusingly. I use too many words in general. 🤣

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language? As someone who has written in Mando’a and Huttese, I am all for it, just don’t like the headache. 🤣🤣🤣

19. first fandom you wrote in? THG 🫣🫣🫣

20. favorite fic you've written? Oh Lordy. Once again, I cringe at most of my stuff, but I’m really happy with how both BTY and Shatter have come together.

EDIT: AGAST! I forgot to tag people!!! Asdfghjkl!!!

@grippingbeskar @the-ginger-hedge-witch @dontletyourchildrenwatchthis @what-the-heckin-heck @joelsgreys

[uozlulu]

50 questions for fic writers

@darkangel1791 asked that fic writing mutual answer these questions, and so here we go~

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?) I’d start with a oneshot. The one that’s been the most well-received is a SPN/Teen Wolf (MTV) crossover about Stiles having an unreciprocated crush on Dean called Crush. The oneshot I think represents my style as a writer the most would be my BnHA/MHA fic called …save…. about Shirakumo overcoming Kurogiri’s programing enough to ask Aizawa to help save Shigaraki. The oneshot I think I did my best work on to date would be my IwtV (AMC) fic May You Get What You Desire Is a Curse upon the Dead, that explores desire via Devil’s Minion. I think this is my best oneshot, if not overall fic, because I alternated between two POVs, one in the past and one in the present, and I don’t cringe when I reread it.

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits? Mine are 1) Originally posted to Fanfiction.net, 2) I Blame Tumblr, 3) Crossover, 4) Additional Warnings in Author’s Note, and 5) Other: See More Story Notes. I think that it does represent me as a writer because sometimes I wrote very long warnings lists and author’s notes because I always have something to say.

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics? I write a lot of stuff where someone’s not!straight because I myself am not straight. I also write quite a bit of romance because it does fascinate me, but I’m also drawn to platonic pairs with strong bonds too.

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of? I spent a lot of time researching stuff about Japan to make my Banana Fish manga AU where Ash joins Eiji on the plane to Japan called Best Laid Plans work. I looked up school schedules, cultural notes, train ride durations, flight durations, food, culture, 80’s history, Google street views, etc…etc… The ending ended up being a bit of a you love it or hate it ending unfortunately, but I am proud of the work I put in to make the fic happen.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now! I don’t think I have any specific questions off the top of my head, but if anyone has some fic-specific questions, my inbox is always open for them

6. What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself? I should have been more clear that in my Black Clover soulmate AU Names and Promises that Asta and Yuno are platonic soulmates and said their first words to each other.

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of? I’m really proud of my work on my BnHA/MHA soulmate AU Our Soulmate Academia because I fleshed so much out and had so much fun with things like quirk swapping and what life for an underground hero might entail, etc…It was also fun trying to guess what Horikoshi might do in the canon and try to avoid doing something too similar.

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)? I want to do my Vampire Chronicles (AMC) inspired playlist as a fic series, but I do not have that kind of free time unfortunately.

9. How do you find new fic to read? Most of the time it’s whatever shows up via my subs in my inbox. But sometimes I just pick a fandom I want to read from and see what new fics are around

10. How do you decide what to write? Sometimes it’s based on a Tumblr post I read like my IwtV (AMC) crack fic We Have Thieves based on some Night Island (AMC) posts I’ve seen. Sometimes I’m filling in some blanks from canon like my Kakuriyo: Bed and Breakfast for Spirits fic Promises and Oaths where I hypothesized some things before the anime finished. Sometimes I watch something unrelated and it inspires a fic like the time I watched that Monuments Men movie and then wrote my Captain America Steve never becomes a super soldier AU called If No One Else Will. Sometimes I get inspired by other fics I’ve been reading like my Sherlock Holmes fic The Mystery in the Fog.

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is? I’m a perseverative person by nature. Sometimes I blink and have like a handful of Devil’s Minion fics because it gives me brain worms or when I was in high school I always had an Inuyasha fic in my fic rotation because I loved that series so much. There was also a time I wrote too many Thick of It fics because I kept using the characters as a way to take a break from the novel I was working on at the time and several Tumblr users were giving me attention for those fics.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you? I started out pretty homophobic when I first started writing fanfic because I was very sheltered. Now I’m just very not straight and the characters I gravitate towards aren’t either. I also wasn’t into reading lemons but now I don’t mind them as long as there’s some sort of plot with it outside of the sexy times.

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore? I’m not sure. I’ve never really been big on searching out specific tropes, though sometimes I will go looking for stuff like those fics where someone swaps places with their younger self and the younger self gets to be in shock at their potential future.

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer? If the AO3 author I trust the most wrote something like omegaverse I don’t think I would follow because that might be a step too squick for me.

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written? I really like my Black Clover/Boruto crossover The Land Across the Sea where Boruto washes up on Clover’s beach, runs into the Black Bulls and Golden Dawn, and then some of both squads take him back to the Land of Fire, which is coincidentally the same country Yami came from. It was a speculation of what post-Spade Arc could be like written before the current Black Clover manga arc. (I wrote this because I think Yami and Naruto would have been friends growing up and they’re roughly about the same age if you take their ages at the start of their mangas in relation to publication year into account).

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)? I think we need more Claudia lived fics in the IwtV (AMC) fandom. I also want to see Present Mic be more students’ mentor in fics.

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it? I want to write a BnHA/MHA AU where Class A has to travel back in time to save Yagi kind of inspired by Tenchi in Love. I’ve written a chunk of it but I hit a wall and I can’t seem to move forward with it.

18. If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it involve? I’m not sure. No one’s made any sequel requests in years.

19. If you wrote a spin-off of [insert fic], what would it involve? I want to take my IwtV (AMC) fic Dream a Memory of Me and remix it now that I have more memory and knowledge of what I should be doing with the characters. Louis also deserves to be utilized in a less haphazard way for the ending. Unfortunately I don’t have the time to do this so it’ll just have to be a testament to how much I was raring and ready to write Iwtv (AMC) fic that I didn’t take the time to refresh my memory properly before embarking on it.

20. If you wrote a prequel to [insert fic], what would it involve? I’m not sure but the novel I’m currently working on 100% could have a prequel but I think that might be too much for me because I’d have to delve deep into my time in middle and high school more so than I’m already doing for that novel.

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in [insert fic], what would it be? Usually if a scene gets send to my dump file, there’s a good reason it’s not in the fic.

22. Who is your favorite character in [insert fic] and why? If it’s a Black Clover fic I’ve written, my favorite character is always Asta. He’s just so loud and friend shaped. I can’t help it. Like a little anime nephew.

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to? I’ve written so many. I think counting the fics lost to time and space, I’ve written probably close to or just over 300 fics since 2001. I think a lot of the ones I want to do I’ve already done maybe even twice over.

24. Are there any Easter eggs in [insert fic], and if so, what are they? Occasionally I make small references but frequently they small enough I can’t think of them off the top of my head.

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write? I usually just use Word, Excel, and Google to find things.

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue? No dialogue. Only dialogue can get confusing without being able to use said.

27. How long did it take to write [insert fic]? Describe the process. It took me a year and two months to get Our Soulmate Academia ready for posting. I wrote it as a giant first draft, edited it while breaking it into chapters, and then spot checked it before posting it. That’s the general way I do all my fics in the last few years. Makes it easy to finish chaptered fics.

28. Does anyone read your fics before you post them? If so, who? I used a beta way back in the 2000’s, who proceeded to steal my fic and post it as their own so I’m the only person who reads them before I post them with the exception of Kitty who has severed as my Britpicker many times.

29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [insert fic]? Explain your choices if you want! We Have Thieves has its own little mini mix technically. The songs I reference in the fic are: “Every Breath You Take” by The Police, “Holy Diver” by Dio, “Little Red Corvette” by Prince, “Psycho Killer” by Talking Heads, and “Beat It” by Michael Jackson.

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter? I wrote some smut for Best Laid Plans since part of the plot was unpacking Ash’s sexual trauma and sexuality. I kept it kind of simple and tried not to make it a spectacle. I’ve written other smut in some orphaned fics. Recently I had the opportunity to write smut in a couple of my IwtV AMC fics but I chose to fade out of the scenes instead because I don’t want to write smut in a manner that feels exploitative (which is why I orphaned the fics I did. I thought they were kind of exploitative and that’s just not how I want to be remembered).

31. What’s your ideal fic length to write? I’m not sure. I ordered my fics by word count and found that the 1,000 word mark occurs roughly half way down the list, so I think I just write whatever word count suits what the fic ends up being unless it’s a drabble that’s to a specific word count.

32. What’s your ideal fic length to read? Usually I try to keep it to under 10,000 unless I’m feeling ambitious or the fic summary is too good to pass up.

33. If you write chaptered fics, what’s your ideal chapter length to write? Is it different from your ideal chapter length to read? When I was in high school and university I would cap my chapters around 5,000 words especially because I was writing drafts without editing them and then just posting them like a weirdo. Now I like to write the whole thing out and if it’s over about 15,000/20,000 or so words I break it into multiple chapters of usually 5,000 – 10,000 words in length.

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life? I 100% used my own mom as inspiration for how to flesh Bakugou’s mom out in Our Soulmate Academia.

35. What aspects of your writing are completely unlike your real life? I have never been kissed. I can’t drink and I can’t drive. So, naturally I’m drawn to having a bit of romance in a good chunk of my fics because it fascinates me in the way that space or dinosaurs, etc… fascinate me.

36. Do you visualize what you read/write? If I can’t see a little movie playing in my head then I’m not going to be able to write it. This is also why I get compliments on my action sequences. I can easily visually keep track of everyone involved at all times.

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it? I wrote a My Life in Film and BBC Sherlock crossover called Distortion that I think worked out fairly well. I think the fact My Life in Film is an obscure TV show didn’t help it in the popularity department. I chose the crossover because Andrew Scott is in both shows.

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful? Only two of my fics have made it into people’s collections. They’re both Black Clover fics. The first one is Rest Young Soldiers which speculated on how the Spade Arc might end, and All Fortune Plays End where I speculated about how Asta’s devil powers might take over his body. I think I did a good job writing both fics.

39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who? It is not. I just do what works for my brain.

40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person? I do reread them. I like to reread my own as they come up on people’s bookmarks of my fics. I also have a trash memory so sometimes I reread fics when out looking for new ones and become that one Gandalf meme when I try to leave kudos.

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.” I have 28 recs out of 138 bookmarks and I feel this way about all of my recs.

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason? I got some flames back in my SPN days that graphically described how I should burn in hell for the fic I wrote. I also still think about the nice reviewer who complemented me on my Daniel characterization on my first IwtV AMC fic since that fic is pretty weak compared to my other ones in that fandom.

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written? I’m not sure because I can’t remember which fics are prompt fics. But I always love writing them.

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts? I don’t really have a preference. Though sometimes I’ll accidentally take it in a strange direction because that’s where inspiration took me.

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic? Editing hands down. I’ve gone from only running the spell check and immediately posting the first and only draft to doing a two round editing process.

46. Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write? On my computer is preferred. Typing on my phone is obnoxious no matter what I’m doing.

47. If [insert fic] was a pair of shoes, what kind would it be? Describe the shoes. If my SPN fic Burn Mark were shoes, they’d have the mark of Michael branded into the toes and the soles would be made from metal like a cage. The leather would be well worn, possibly almost worn out and the shoe laces a little dirty.

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it? The last fic I read was the latest chapter of Only Human by bandedbulbussnarfblat. If human AUs for IwtV (AMC) aren’t your thing, then I highly recommend The Human Perspective by the same author.

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it! I am currently working on my novel so no sharing.

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about! I’m not really sure. I’ve been posting fic online since July of 2001. I have a lot of thoughts about it but not sure which to choose from. If people want to know more you all can always send me asks or messages about whatever questions you might have.

[thegeminisage]

one of many reasons castiel spent the first year of knowing dean trying not to strangle him: dean's weird little winchester-only dialect

i’m fucking obsessed with this right now, so buckle in for a meta. a cool fun (horrible) thing about dean's dialogue is that a good 90% of what comes out of his mouth is:

a pop culture reference ("you're just gonna take some divine bong hit, and shazam, you're roma downey?")

references to real life phenomenon ("i don't wanna wake up missing a kidney in a bathtub full of ice" "try new mexico, i hear he’s on a tortilla")

these also often take the form of nicknames, and dean has a tendency to give people nicknames in general or call them something besides their given name, whether it’s affectionate or rude ("easy there, van damme" "so i’m girl interrupted" furthermore castiel = cas, ezekiel = zeke, etc, see also frequent use of "chucklehead" "asshat" and on the nicer/endearments end "buddy" "pal" "sunshine" etc)

an idiom ("a snowball's chance" "if it smells like a duck...")

slang ("drinking the koolaid" "jonesing for some hooch" not to mention the literal endless amount of words dean uses to refer to killing - gank, waste, juice, ice, etc)

a metaphor ("power up your batteries" "fly me back to my page on the calendar")

a euphemism ("cloud seeding" "i'd have given you an hour alone with her first")

sarcasm (his habit of replying "peachy" or "super" when asked how he is)

wordplay (see: the entire "vampirate" and "werepire" debacles)

completely nonsensical (guessing what happened to a magical artifact: "it was dug up by tomb raiders? it was seized by the king of the dead by warlords?")

said at lightning speed - if you pay attention, dean actually talks a LOT, usually a mile a minute (this makes me feel a way when you recall him being nonverbal for a year at age 4 but that’s another post)

slang IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE (casual usage of “guano,” etc)

a lie, a deflection, a joke, etc

or worse, something dean’s NOT saying, deliberately, because he’s one of the most repressed people on earth

the end result of all this being:

dean winchester is utterly infuckingcomprehensible. 

think about this. there's an ENTIRE SECTION on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE PAGE of the spn wiki devoted to JUST explaining dean's pop culture references, because the average viewer won't have seen everything he's talking about either. they have a whole page for this called “hunter’s lingo,” but honestly, it’s not all hunters, just sam and dean’s fucking batshit communication style. even i don't understand dean half the time. SAM gets it, sam speaks it back to dean a lot in the early seasons, but that's because sam and dean are 1. practically two halves of the same person 2. FREAKS. every time we get an episode that involves outsider POV is devoted to them going "what the fuck is WRONG with them?"

enter castiel. technically speaking, the show implies that angels are omnilingual. castiel should understand every language known to man, but knowing the meaning of words doesn't help him understand the following:

pop culture references

references to real life phenomenon

nicknames

idioms

slang

metaphors

euphemisms

sarcasm

wordplay

you get the idea.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. castiel cannot understand a single fucking word that comes out of dean's mouth. my guy laid a hand on dean winchester in hell and immediately fell in love with him and has no fucking idea what he's talking about ever. because not only is dean winchester's way of speaking CLINICALLY insane, and sometimes incomprehensible even to other human beings who are not sam, castiel is an angel, and someone prone to taking things even more literally than other angels do

go back and watch and watch seasons 4-5 especially. the reason cas does so much squinting and head tilting is because every time dean opens his mouth castiel has to open up his mental "dean winchester dictionary" and translate entire paragraphs on the fly, because again, dean never shuts up!

what makes this extra hilarious to me is this gem:

this line is from 5.13. at this point cas has known dean for AN ENTIRE YEAR AND A HALF. what you see here is my guy SNAPPING. cas made an EFFORT in this scene. he asked who glenn close was. he's telling dean that he can't understand him. he is doing his level best to have a normal conversation with this guy he has a crush on and for the life of him he cannot do it (equal but opposite energy to cas blowing up the gas station and motel room in 4.01, tbh)

yes, cas can understand dean's tone. he can use context clues, and he usually gets the general idea. and when cas DOES understand dean's jokes, he laughs at them. the first time we ever see him smile is during their 4.07 heart-to-heart when dean says "it was a witch, not the tet offensive." since cas has knowledge of human history, he knows what the tet offensive is; he got the joke, and he laughed.

but as far as actual dialogue goes, he consistently struggles to keep up. even after metatron gives castiel the pop culture knowledge in season 9, cas struggles to put it to put it to proper use (dean: "you wanna just walk right into the death star?" cas: "what does a fictional battle station have to do with this?"). whenever he asks dean to clarify it's always when he’s most annoyed, like most of the time he knows it would be futile but he's too annoyed to care. (dean: "i don't know who's on first, what's on second!" cas: "what IS second???") i’m pretty sure he spends seasons 4-6 wanting to shake dean by the shoulders and ask him why he is LIKE THIS. 

it takes cas - who, again, is omnilingual - YEARS to begin to acclimate to dean’s speech and start speaking that language back to him. it's season 8 before we start really hearing him use slang, season 9 before he begins to understand wordplay, season 10 before he starts using pop culture references (to other angels, who immediately fail to understand him, which disappoints him immensely), and season 11 before he really gets into metaphors. i don't remember what season he started using "yeah" instead of "yes" but i do know it took a really damn long time. 

and honestly, i don't think cas truly got the hang of it until at least season 11-12. that's something like 7 or 8 YEARS. it’s more than half the time they’ve known each other at the point of the series finale. 

so what's true romance, fellas? it's falling completely and totally in love with the most inexplicable person you will ever meet in your whole 4.5 billion year life, even though you have yet to understand a single thing he's ever said to you. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[spn masterpost]

[redleavesinthewind]

ELLIOT’S 2022 FIC WRAP UP

writing version / click here for the reading version

i originally wanted to keep track of the amount of words i wrote this year, but that kinda fell apart after a few months. i do know that i didn’t write as much this year as i did the years previous, but hey, i also know i’ve published a total of 110,538 words across 14 fics in 2022, and that’s gotta count for something

so, here’s the list of fics i wrote this year and some thoughts on them (continues under the cut):

dean winchester’s guide to grieving an angel | spn | After Cas dies, Dean feels lost | 1.4k words

this one’s the first fic in my supernatural guides series, and when i wrote this i didn’t even know it would become a series. i’ve tried some new things in this one, specifically how to write about grief and playing around with cas’ trueform. i’ve never called this fic a fix-it, but i guess that’s what it is

the birthday present | spn | Dean’s family surprises him on his birthday | 507 words

this is just a soft little birthday ficlet and another excuse for me to give dean tattoos

time will bring him back to you | spn | After a knee injury, Dean Winchester’s ballet career could very well be over. Refusing to think about it too much, Dean returns to his hometown to take some time off and relax. However, when his old ballet teacher Rowena gets sick he has to take over teaching, and he keeps seeing his ex-boyfriend around town. An ex who he definitely doesn’t have any feelings for anymore… right? Castiel Novak has a good life. He loves his two adopted children, Jack and Claire, and he’s happy with his job as a paramedic. There’s nothing more he needs. Least of all having his ex from back when he was a teenager show up suddenly and distract him from what’s important. Which shouldn’t even be a problem because Cas is totally over him… right? With some meddling from Charlie, Dean and Cas find themselves confronted with feelings they thought were left in the past. | 24k words

okay so while i published this fic in 2022, it was mainly written in 2021. it’s the first time i participated in a big bang type event (deancas pinefest!) and it was such a fun experience. i have done ballet pretty much all my life, so i make ballet aus for pretty much every fandom i’m in, but this is the first one i’ve actually written out! it is very dear to me, and i have more ballet fics in my drafts

castiel’s guide to loving a human | spn | After being rescued from the Empty, Cas is finally allowed to love Dean with all his heart | 2.3k words

here it is, the second part of the supernatural guides series. i never planned for this fic to exist, but i worked off a creator celebration’s prompts and it worked out perfectly! this might be the least angsty fic i have ever written in my life btw

proper pirates have tattoos | ofmd | Before the crew sets sail to follow Blackbeard, Stede gets a tattoo | 720 words

aaand another excuse for me to write about tattoos! funnily enough, i don’t have as much of a desire to write ofmd fic than i do for other fandoms, but this little moment got stuck in my head and i had to get it out

canvas | spn | Claire Novak is a canvas | 1.2k words

a fic about the love of my life claire novak. she is my absolute favourite and i will always jump on any opportunity to a) mess with her gender and b) give her tattoos. this might me my favourite fic i wrote this year, it’s simple, but means so much to me

healing | 911 | Eddie is healing | 100 words

A DRABBLE do you know how hard it is to keep a fic to exactly 100 words?? not easy, especially when you have so much to say about a specific topic (like, eddie’s journey in season 5!!)

the dream goes as follows | spn | dean dreams and he bleeds | 641 words

i’m kinda playing around with imagery in this one, it was fun to write, even though dean is very much not having a good time

home | spn | dean and his home | 100 words

sometimes i look back on my writing and wonder how i did it. i have no idea. i don’t even remember sitting down and writing this. it was just suddenly there. and somehow at perfectly 100 words

cas and dean’s guide to making a home | spn | Cas and Dean buy a house. Now they’re making it their home. | 3.3k words

after writing the previous two guides, i realised that i really liked this universe i’ve created and when another creator celebration with the right prompts came along, the third installment of the guides series was born. it’s a story told through painting walls and i think that’s neat. also, i wrote parts of this while visiting a friend in amsterdam

thread | spn | The thread with which Sam holds himself together | 649 words

ohhh boy okay. a sam character study i came up with after a morning of sewing. i’m very proud of it, however i do think it’s a little cursed

hunting contact | spn | After Hibbing, Jody becomes Donna’s first contact concerning everything supernatural. What starts as professional calls slowly develops into something much more personal, and Jody has to juggle with her job, keeping Donna up-to-date with information on monsters, making a home for Alex and Claire, and realising that there’s more to the blossoming friendship between her and Donna. | 11k words

a jodydonna fic! i’ve wanted to write this one for years, it’s just a comfortable little fic about donna becoming a permanent part of jody’s life. also claire and alex are there and i love them

[insert mamma mia quote here] | spn | Claire Winchester has long resigned to not knowing who their second parent is, but when they find their dad's journal from the summer they were conceived, there's suddenly three possible other fathers. Claire decides to invite them all to their upcoming wedding, convinced that they are going to recognise their father on sight. What could go wrong? Dean Winchester may not understand why his child wants to get married at twenty-two, but he wants to give Claire and Krissy the perfect wedding nonetheless. Now, that would be much easier if there weren't those three guys from his past running around on the island, who cannot under any circumstances find out about Claire. And no, Dean does not still have feelings for one of them. At least that's what he keeps telling himself. | currently at 33k words

BIG SIGH okay. okay. i was supposed to finish this fic within the year but hey, here we are, the last day of 2022, and we’re only slightly over the midway point. i’m a little sad about that actually, cause this fic is so fun! it’s a mix of my favourite things (mamma mia and transnatural) and it is the best thing i have ever come up with. but i am still working on it, so it’s not abandoned! i would never abandon it it’s much too important to me, i’m just inconsistent and can’t stick to schedules

Fire in the Dark | spn | With his brother Sam out of town, Dean and the other forest rangers in his small town in West Virginia must figure out why the forest has become disorienting to those that know it best and, with Cas’ help, concoct a plan that will set it back to normal. | 32k words

okay, first off only around half of the words in this fic were written by me, the other are from ely @/juliept who agreed to try and write a horror fic with me! which was a very fun process. it’s not the first time we’ve co-written, but this one felt different, because i was the one who came up with the concept, and i love how it came to life with our words

eyyyy and that’s it! here’s to many more stories in 2023!!

[wigglebox]

How do you, as a lesbian, deal with the feeling of... I don't know, conformance? To heteronormativity when engaging with stuff like the Jensen thirst traps? I ask because I feel like I'm kinda your opposite at the moment and I'm wondering if you had any thoughts on the matter.

I'm not an “out and proud” kinda guy but also don't go out of my way to live dishonestly (lying by omission basically because coming out is scary). I've been into spn forever and have pics of Cas as my wallpaper, posters etc hanging in my house so it was always kind of a “well if you don't know I'm gay that's on you”. Which works if your favourite media thing has a really bad track record with women.

But recently I've also been getting into a K-pop girl group and would love to put up some of their posters as well. Except, I can't help but think that everyone is just going to go “lol first celebrity crush huh?” I know it doesn't matter and I shouldn't be so bent out of shape about assumptions I'm too afraid to correct anyway but... Ugh. I just don't like people misinterpreting the love I have for something as something else? I'm really secure in my identity and I know that my feelings for women are just not the same as my feelings for men but short of writing “I love these women like my besties because I am a raging homosexual” on top of every mention of them it feels inevitable that people just ... Don't pick up on that.

I just wish I could say stuff like “she's so pretty” and “he's so pretty” and not have societal expectations autofill the intent the wrong way around.

hiii~~

so whenever there's a cute or hot thing that comes out about jackles, i say things like 'oh man, i forgot I'm a lesbian' facetiously and indeed I'm not crossing my legs and clenching when i see a photo of him because i am not sexually attracted to men. his thirst traps actually do nothing for me xD but he's very attractive and i like how he talks and walks and his public persona.

has this happened before to you?

i think anxiety can sometimes throw the 'what if' situations out in our head and it can freeze us and make us not want to act but

it's hard because i think that women may have it a little easier. i had posters up all around my room especially in college of these shows that i liked with all these male protagonists and no one dinged my sexuality over it. though i guess, at the time, i considered myself bisexual bc i was afraid to call myself a lesbian [that's just a loaded story wkejfawklj]

regardless -- i feel you on this one, i too wish people would just accept that you can be a fan of someone or something without wanting to bone the person.

what you laid out sounds more like your anxiety and worry throwing out 'what if' scenarios you just don't want to deal with but those can make us freeze and start to spiral so

i'd hang up the poster. other gay men hang up posters or pictures of Cher or Dolly Parton or some other iconic woman or woman performer like actors and singers, some go so far as to impersonate them in drag performances, and no one thinks they want to fuck those women. And it's not even always older performers too. I don't think people think gay men wanna fuck Lady Gaga or have a crush on her.

shouldn't be any different here. and if someone thinks otherwise, you'll know what to do in the moment. trust your brain to know what to do. sadly it's something that's always a possibility but it's not a guarantee someone will make disparaging comments. but if you have to white-knuckle your way through it, it's shitty but it happens.

but hang up the poster

don't let that heteronormative what if situation freeze you from living a life you wanna live and supporting the celebs and performers you wanna support!

[holylulusworld]

I loved you a thousand times

Summary: Dean reflects his love for you.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: fluff, Dean’s PoV, implied smut, naughty dreams

Text divider by @firefly-graphics​

Written in Dean’s POV

I roll over to your side, move my fingers carefully over your cheek. It really isn’t your fault I’m wide awake at 2 am, or it is but that’s no problem at all.

It’s just that I love watching you sleep next to me. The rise and fall of your chest. Or how you scrunch up your nose when you dream.

Sometimes you even moan my name – that’s a good dream I guess.

“Dean,” you press your hand against my chest in your sleep, fingertips curling in the worn-out fabric of my shirt. “Pie.”

“Yeah pie, baby girl,” I husk watching you scoot closer to me, face now buried in my chest. Damn me, my heart swells. “You’re a cute sleeper.”

“Dean,” you whisper again, this time you moan a little and I know, you are dreaming about something naughty involving your favorite hunter. “Wet.”

“Shit, sweetheart,” I groan now, cock twitching in my pants. “Don’t say things like that or I’ll wake you up and do dirty things to you.” My eyes drift toward your face when you turn around, moaning my name again, only to roll to the other side of the bed, revealing your cotton panties to me.

I love you feel comfortable enough around me to not wear lace or silk. – That’s only for special occasions. Maybe you stopped wearing lingerie as I tend to rip them off your body to get you bare, I think to myself, shrugging.

Fuck, how I love to get you bare, make you shiver in anticipation before I settle between your legs and eat you alive.

Now I want to taste you, but you sleep peacefully, and I dare not to wake you. You barely get enough sleep. With life like ours and an insatiable boyfriend, you’ve got a lot on your plate.

“Dean,” you whimper, rolling to my side, fisting my shirt again. “Cocky.”

“You know me so well, sweetheart,” I purr, reaching out for you to press you against my chest. You instinctively wrap your arms around me to hold tight onto my body. “Feels so good, Y/N.”

“Safe,” I sigh when you snuggle in my chest, whispering my name. God, I love how you feel against me.

I loved you a thousand times, and I’ll keep on making love to you.

Y/N, you are the first girl I didn’t kiss and leave. Or rather have naughty sex with to sneak out in the morning or the moment the girl closed her eyes.

With you, I imagine a life, maybe even a family. Can I have a family? Will there be a little Dean run around the bunker or a nice house sooner or later?

I snicker, imagining my girl runs after a little mini-me, calling him Dean jr. “Yeah, that would be great.”

“Great?” you mumble in your sleep, steering when I bury my nose in your hair to inhale your scent deeply. “Dean, are you feeling me up in my sleep again?”

I hum, smirking when you slowly lift your head. “A little...”

Fuck, your voice is a little rough from sleep and you look up at me with those doe eyes. “Dean? Did you do naughty things while I was asleep?”

“No,” I smirk, lips brushing your forehead. “But I easily could’ve fucked you into the mattress, you’re a heavy sleeper.”

“That’s not true,” you scold, but you snuggle closer to me.” What did you want to do to me, Dean?” oh, there she is. My naughty girl.

“Anything you want me to do, sweetheart,” I gruffly reply, smirking as you start to squirm in my hold. “What do you want?”

“Hmm…” you frown, think about all the naughty things we could do before you brush your lips over my chin. “Anything you want to, dirty boy…”

I groan, hands already tugging at the shirt you stole from me. “You’re in for a treat, sweetheart.”

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[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching Sin City

Welcome to “Jensen’s Stupid-Good Acting, Jared’s Fantastic Befuddled Face, and a PSA on Hurricanes: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

 Up today, s3e4: Sin City

 Sam and Dean investigate a town that has recently turned into a hotbed of vice. They figure it must be a case of demon possession—or a case of multiple demon possessions—but the more they investigate, the less it seems any of the folks who’ve suddenly turned murderous or suicidal or what-have-you is possessed. Eventually the boys figure out that there are demons involved, but only two, and all they really did was start nudging people toward their bad sides. No possession needed. It’s another case of humans humaning at their worst, for the most part. The boys take out the demons and hope for the best. Along the way we meet an old hunting buddy of Dean’s and watch Dean have a heart-to-heart with one of the demons about his impending trip to Hell and whether it scares him. Spoiler alert: it does, but he’s clinging to pretending it don’t.

 Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

 [and we begin:]

  Lor:

 you hunt down those evil sons of bitches, Dean

 Mace:

 HA

 Lor:

 the SHOTS on this show sometimes. that stained glass window as a halo around Andy's head

 Mace:

you know, I though nuns would be made of stronger stuff than that

 YES

  Lor:

 right?

 one of my profs in college said "nuns may be married to god but they’re hell on wheels"

(I do not remember the context)

 Mace:

 HAHAHAHAHA

  Lor:

 Sam's laugh!

 Mace:

 YAAASSS

  Lor:

 "well it won't kill demons by then but I can promise it will kill you"

 Mace:

 I do love Sam in a tie

  Lor:

 I want the Dad!Bobby and His Sons Dean and Sam Annoy Each Other show

 Mace:

 YAS

  Lor:

 daaaw the pre-suits

 Mace:

 YAS

 if Sam’s a Buffett fan, I’m gonna have to do something about that

  Lor:

 HA!

please do

 omg Dean's face

 Mace:

 the juxtaposition of “this is my sister” and “this is my brother” is kind of hilarious

  Lor:

 HAHAHAHAHAH YES

 "until I came along your ass was toast"

 "fyi Winchester words hurt"

 omg

 Mace:

 SNORK

  Lor:

 omg the magic fingers his SMILE

 Mace:

 YES

  Lor:

 omg Dean and Sam having to pull him away

 Mace:

 YESYES

 ooof hurricanes

  Lor:

 "i do now"

 no idea what it is

 Mace:

 the reason I don’t remember an entire section of my trip to NOLA

  Lor:

 HA!

did it taste good at least?

 poor Sam. he's twitchy

 Mace:

 I…don’t remember

But I’m guessing yes

 he IS twitchy. he needs soothing

  Lor:

 "what a thrill"

 Mace:

 YES

  Lor:

 wow (i just have no experience with this)

 he DOES

do you volunteer?

 Mace:

 yeah, part of my ‘wild’ days

 I DO VOLUNTEER

  Lor:

 I AM SHOCKED

 Mace:

 “toys trump oils” THIS GUY

  Lor:

 "yeah, no, toys trump oils" haaaaahahaha

   Lor:

   Mace:

 HAHAHAHAHA

 (we HAVE to watch that movie together)

  Lor:

 (YES)

  Mace:

 HAHAHA

 welp, Dean was right - that guy can’t handle the job

 Mace:

 ope, Dean’s worried so he’s not eating!

  Lor:

 yyyep

 YEP

he's adorable

  Bobby smells like old spice and sawdust, I just know it

 Mace:

 ugh, LAUREN

 OMG YES YES HE DOES

and motor oil

  Lor:

 YES

 Mace:

 (old spice and motor oil is my dad 100%)

  Lor:

 (NICE. yep, old spice and oil or dust or gas--very competent older man smell. so comforting)

 Mace:

 (VERY comforting)

  Lor:

 look at his DUMB PROFILE

 Mace:

 YES

  Lor:

 "I just told her I had a thing for the bartender"

 Mace:

 SO SMOOTH

  Lor:

 is that a hurricane?

 I need to go look it up now

 Mace:

 it’s a small one if so

maybe they’re just giant in NOLA

  Lor:

 interwebs says it's popular in NOLA so maybe

looks like it's fruit juice, rum, and sugar

 Mace:

 “oh god” ADORABLE SAMMY

  Lor:

 OMG SAM

 Mace:

yeah that sounds about right

it’s the rum that’ll get ya

  Lor:

 "minor misunderstanding"

 Mace:

 SNORK

  Lor:

 "have a nice day?" HIS FACE

 yep. and with the sugar

 Mace:

 YAS

  Lor:

 my mom always told me to never drink sweet alcoholic drinks. shrug

 LOOKIT him standing there with his hands in his pockets

 Mace:

 that’s pretty much the only kind I will drink

don’t tell your mom

 YES and he’s SO SMART

  Lor:

 see, right? if i was gonna drink, I would WANT a sweet one

well. this is when I went to college. I don't think she'd have an opinion now

 "so are you. bitch"

 Mace:

 it was smart advice - with the sweet ones you don’t know until it’s too late that you’re hammered and at a college party, that can be…not good

 YES

  Lor:

 yeah

 ah Dean

 "having a little trouble there, sport?"

 "and, uh, he did pay attention in class"

 "everyone?"

 oh Dean, honey, you're just as smart as Sammy

 Mace:

 Yes you are, Dean. pets him

  Lor:

 "her place. for bible study"

 Mace:

 HA

  Lor:

 Sammy is giving very good slightly confused face in this episode

 Mace:

 YES HE IS

he’s adorable

  Lor:

 YEP

 and Dean is looking exceptionally pretty

 Mace:

 HE IS

  Lor:

 "I don't know. I'd like to" OMG

 Mace:

 I have trouble with Dean still not really believing in god at this point. how is there no god if there are all these demons who are allergic to churchspeak in Latin

  Lor:

 yeah, I agree, but his angst over it as he starts to find out that there is a god and he's negligent at best and evil at worst punches me in the feels

 Mace:

 oh well sure

 “what’s it like down there” oh DEAN HONEY

  Lor:

 "speaking of downstairs. what's it like down there?"

*WRAPS HIM IN SOFT THINGS"

 Mace:

 YES

he’s trying to look so casual about it, poor tiger

  Lor:

 YES

 "it's like a family business" SNORK

 Mace:

 YAS

 Sammy, dude, read this guy. he’s EVIL

  Lor:

 RIGHT?

 "sitting here like a couple of regular folk"

 Mace:

 yeah

 oh Dean

  Lor:

 omg his breathing gets heavier as he says "nah of course not" JENSEN

 Mace:

 RIGHT?!

He’s acts the crap out of this episode

  Lor:

 YES

which is awesome cause it COULD be phoned in. it's just a lot of talking. but he makes it MATTER

 Mace:

 YES

  Lor:

 "that's okay. hey, I barely respect you now"

 Mace:

 SNORK

  Lor:

 YES

 "thank god for that" pets him

 Mace:

 YEP

  Lor:

 "I was ready to follow Sam" that's gotta be a whole lotta weird feels for Dean

 Mace:

 RIGHT?! his second worst nightmare

  Lor:

 YES

 Mace:

 BOBBY!!

 YAS

  Lor:

 oh man I LOVE that Dean saying "Sammy be careful" tells Sam something's WRONG. that it's not just a throwaway

 YES Bobbyyyyyy

 Mace:

 YES

for all their trouble with communicating, in some ways they’re very good at it

  Lor:

 YES

when it's about work and/or when it's something they can ritualize (like having codes or something), it's effortless for them

 Dean's FACE when he says "you two?"

 Mace:

 YES and YES

 ooof that worried look on Dean’s face when Sam kills the girl

  Lor:

 YES

 "humans ain’t our job"

 Mace:

 YEP

  Lor:

 lookit him in his Dad's too big leather jacket over his adorable tiny self

 Mace:

 YES

 omg the lip quiver when he’s asking Bobby about Sam

  Lor:

 "you think... you think something's wrong with my brother?" that's it, that's the show

 YAAAAS

 Mace:

 I mean, Jesus, Jensen.

  Lor:

 RIGHT?

 Mace:

 yet it’s still not enough to make Lauren’s horrible acting palatable

  Lor:

 he SHOWS UP for every dang scene. it's amazing

 NOPE

 "oh I see" and Jared's managing pretty well given he doesn't have much to play off of

 Mace:

 YES HE IS

  Lor:

 "that little fallen angel on your shoulder"

 Mace:

 YAAASSS

  Lor:

 I get so caught up in "oh god Dean's gonna go to hell" that I forget that there's all this "is Sam really out of the woods of becoming the boy king of hell" stuff going on

  Mace:

Right?! So much happening

[dotthings]

Let’s talk about why Dean dancing with a lamp is subtext, but it’s subtext that supports textual arcs. Dean dancing with a lamp is not random. Meta on why Dean dancing with a lamp is part of the build of a textual arc for Dean, thematically, which also connects to his relationship with Cas. This symbolic moment being tacitly about Destiel will only feel like reaching if you ignore context, ignore canon, ignore long arcing, ignore textual material surrounding it. This isn’t just me talking about a ship, this is an important arc for Dean himself emotionally and the way canon’s working, Cas has become the star player in this specific emotional Dean arc about yearning. 

Here are some canon quotes. I could just leave these here and not write another word of meta because the canon wrote it for me. But I’ve added some further commentary to spell out clearly what I’m getting at.

Dean in 8.14 “Trial and Error” by Andrew Dabb:

“You see a light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel. I don't. But I tell you what I do know – it's that I'm gonna die with a gun in my hand. 'Cause that's what I have waiting for me – that's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life – become a man of Letters, whatever. You, with a wife and kids and – and – and grandkids, living till you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra – that is my perfect ending, and it's the only one that I'm gonna get.”

Dean in 10.16 “Paint it Black” by Eugenie Ross-Lemming and Brad Buckner:

“You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it....Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. I mean, you know, there’s – there’s things, there’s…people, feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.”

Sam and Dean in 11.04 “Baby” by Robbie Thompson:

SAM: Really? You don't . . . Ever want something more? DEAN: I'm sorry, have you met us? We're batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM: You don't ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But . . . Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

Sam and Dean in 13.23 “Let the Good Times Roll” by Andrew Dabb:

DEAN: But on a beach somewhere, you know? Can you imagine? You, me, Cas, toes in the sand, couple of them little umbrella drinks. Matching Hawaiian shirts, obviously. Some hula girls. SAM: You talking about retiring? You? DEAN: If I knew the world was safe? Hell, yeah. And you know why? 'Cause we freaking earned it, man.

Sam and Dean in 15.08 “Our Father, Who Aren’t in Heaven” by Eugenie Ross-Lemming and Brad Buckner:

DEAN: Look, man, I didn't want to say anything, okay, 'cause I was kind of in in a bad place, and, uh, yeah, I didn't want to jinx it or whatever, but, you know, I tried the family thing, right? SAM: Yeah, me too. And that's not for us. DEAN: No, not really. But I'm just saying if it was to work, Eileen, you know, she gets it. She gets us. She gets the life. She's hot. SAM: Dean. I mean, I'm not even- DEAN: Look, all I'm saying is you- you could do worse, okay? And she could certainly do better. Like, so much better. I'm happy for you, Sammy.

Dean and Garth in 15.10 “The  Heroes’ Journey” written by Andrew Dabb:

DEAN: You know, I gotta say, aside from pincushion in there… this is pretty nice. GARTH: Yeah, better than I ever thought I'd get. I mean, hunting -- I figured I'd be dead before I'm 40. You know, go out young and pretty. But now I've got a great wife, great kids. I guess...sometimes things work out.

Dean in 15.10 “The Heroes’ Journey” by Andrew Dabb:

Dean, wistful, watching through the window as Garth and Bess dance: You know, I always thought I could be a good dancer if I wanted to be.

Ok, let those roll around in your brain for moment. 

Now: CONTEXT. CONTEXT. CONTEXT.

There’s this long running arc about maybe Sam and Dean could each find a significant other, not white picket fence, but...something, with someone already in the life, who gets their life. There’s Dean’s move from despairing and believing the only ending he could have, the only ending any hunter could have, is dying with a gun in hand, to Dean’s enthusiasm for the concept of retirement, Dean’s wistfulness about finding a significant other, for what he thinks he can’t have, and he starts the cycle all over again, if he can’t have it, then he wants Sam to have it, so Dean encourages Sam with Eileen. Saileen, the Dean-blessed, Dean-approved Sam ship. Dean ships it. And that is how the canon is trending, complete with Sam and Eileen kissing goodbye and saying “this is real” and even God himself saying their feelings were real, “that was all you,” even if God manipulated events around them. Which is an overt mirror to Dean and Cas and Dean’s expressly stated doubts about what’s real and what isn’t, and Cas telling Dean “we are.” 

Much the way Sam has been witness to Destiel, and has often pointed out Dean’s Cas feelings. Dean’s got a front row seat to Saileen and approves; Sam’s had a front row seat to Destiel and approves. 

Let’s throw in Robert Berens’ work in The Trap here, since that’s relevant to this specific topic as well, because why did Sam and Dean in the potential future timeline where they’d killed Chuck give up and cave in to their vampire instincts? The world being overwhelmed with monsters...and losing Eileen and losing Cas. It’s right there in the dialogue. I’ll give you the quote and everything:

Sam and Dean in 15.09 “The Trap” by Robert Berens:

SAM: You want to quit? What's happened to you, Dean? Ever since -- DEAN: Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we've ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy? Ever since I had to bury him in a Ma'lak box? Ever since then? Yeah. You know why? 'Cause the monsters -- they're everywhere. Everywhere! What we do -- it's not even Hunting anymore. It's whack-a-mole. We don't even save people. Every friend we've ever had is either dead, or they got wise and they packed it in. SAM: Jody's still fighting, and Bobby -- DEAN: Bobby has a death wish, and you know it. And Jody -- ever since what happened to Donna and the girls, she does, too. And after Eileen... so do you.

“Ever since” Dean had to bury Cas in a Ma’lak box. “After Eileen...so do you.” 

So there’s this canonical long, long thread across multiple authors (and those weren’t even all the quotes, I’m sure people could dig up more) about Dean in particular yearning towards finding a significant other, some contentment, with someone who already is in the hunting life, who gets it, who understands.  

An episode that flat out shows how losing their significant others is the final straw that rips out Sam and Dean’s last will to fight, and they lose themselves, and after they’re turned into vampires, they just...give into the darkness. Where Sam gives up their shot at destroying the big bad because losing everyone they love is too high a cost. Where losing Cas makes Dean lose hope, where losing Eileen sends Sam into a death wish mindset. Sam and Dean don’t just need each other. That’s not canon, it never has been.

And then right after that, along comes meta episode The Heroes’ Journey. Sorry if you don’t like The Heroes’ Journey, but it’s what the canon did, it’s textual, along with everything else I’ve pointed out here, and in among the crackish humor are some real emotional narrative points. 

In The Heroes’ Journey, Dean gets to see Garth’s life. Garth found his significant other, Bess, and she’s another werewolf. Now, Garth’s life resembles the traditional white picket fence idea a lot more than what Team Free Will are headed for. Garth has a big house with a porch, and he’s a dentist. He’s also a werewolf and his wife is a werewolf and his kids are werewolves because Bess is a pureblood werewolf, Garth didn’t exactly leave the life, and he helps Sam and Dean on a case. But nothing’s been indicating to me that anyone in Team Free Will is headed for that kind of settling down, with a house, becoming a dentist. However, the canon has been practically shouting now, as we near final episodes of SPN, to make the point about a desirable outcome--some kind of stability, contentment, and a significant other. Dean gets a front row seat to seeing a hunter can have that. Garth’s a hunter who turned into a werewolf and he can have that. 

When EP’s talk about how they aren’t headed for a white picket fence or driving off into the sunset or settling down, none of that rules out them finding...something...with someone, and some form of stability and contentment.  Nope, I can’t really imagine them in the suburbs becoming dentists. But canon sure is putting up big neon arrows to...something. Think outside the box. This isn’t about the white picket fence. 

And in The Heroes’ Journey, Dean, conked out on the good gas so Garth can fix his teeth, has a trippy dream where he dances with a lamp.

Rewatch the ep. Look at how the dance is choreographed not just the use of light, because that’s a clue too. The whole dance could have been Dean and Garth being dancing bros, but Garth fades off the stage, and Dean dances alone...until he grabs the standing lamp. In a season where Dean and Cas’s relationship is an A-plot, define it how you like, it’s A-plot. Their breakup and their reconciliation, which played like a marital breakup and reconciliation, are tied to major mytharc beats. In a season where a long-running textual theme about Dean’s developing hope for retirement and his wistfulness about “things...people...feelings...” is getting further play. Where Dean and Cas’s relationship continues to be one of the show’s most central ones.

Dean dances with a lamp. While his emotionally fraught, intense close relationship with Cas--A BEING MADE OF LIGHT--has a long-running arc and recently more and more textual level content spelling out the sublimated romantic interest in small words, while there’s an arc about Dean’s yearning for that stability, contentment, a significant other.

CONTEXT. 

We don’t think Destiel’s “going canon” because Dean dances with a lamp, it’s that Dean dancing with a lamp is kinda loud serving as reflection of canon textual arcing. Sometimes subtext adds a layer. Sometimes subtext is directly tied to the surface layers, an echo, a highlighter.

I’ll just be over here, crying because Dean danced with a lamp.

[shtern-and-art]

I have more questions because it's no longer 4am lmao.

Does Skeppy fear any animals? I just wanna know if there's any sweet moments of Skeppy clinging to Bad whilst he tries to calm him down.

I'm guessing Bad still hates things like littering and woodcutters but would he ever act particularly strongly about it or would he have more control?

I like how Rat seems to tolerate Skeppy because Bad likes him but would she ever get jealous if Skeppy started pettting another dog?

I have a horrifying image of Bad just spider climbing up a tree to fetch Skeppy. I don't know why but I feel like dude wouldn't even need branches lmao.

What other supernatural creatures/people do they come across? Were there any that were especially dangerous and did they befriend any?

Is Bad much physically stronger than Skeppy? I keep thinking of Skeppy being a little shaz and Bad just one-arm picking him up and slinging him over his shoulder XD.

Does Bad ever get nightmares of the day he became the forest spirit?

How far would Skeppy take stealing? Would he steal something he knows the owner has genuine attachment to? Would he do everything in his power to steal something for Bad even if it means getting hurt?

Who's more likely to protect the other?

Skeppy just minding his business looking at one of Bad's textbooks, turns his head and Bad's just having a tea party with a freaking bear. Surprised the man hasn't had a heart attack yet XD.

What's your favourite thing to imagine them doing?

Is Bsd an adrenaline junky? Or is he scared of more dangerous things like bungee jumping and mountain climbing.

What would their reactions be to rollercoasters?

Do they have a favourite date-night activity?

Everytime I think of this au it brightens my mood!! Thank you for making something so heartwarming!! <3

Glad to see you again :D And yaay, questions!

My pen pressure broke again, I can't finish any sketches for this ask rn, but here's a couple of old messy designs.

1) Comforting and nightmares

Skeppy has a normal, I’d even say adequate level of fear towards wild animals, whilst Bad has it in negative numbers. And, yes, this fun juxtaposition leads to a lot of unfortunate moments of Skeppy nearly dying from heart attack when some of Bad’s animal friends show up unexpectedly, or Bad goes all out for his tea-parties with wild bears or smth.

So, yes, sometimes the comforting hugs are necessary! And no, none of them ever play up the dramaticness of the situation just to drag out the nice comforting moment They do n o t. That’d be very silly and unnecessary, and will deserve a lot of teasing. So, it’s all serious. Not only for the first couple minutes. Yes.

But If you’re looking for comfort-after-actual-hurt – Bad does have to hold and comfort Skeppy, when the stress of trying to not fuck up the good stuff around him gets too strong. And after the nightmares where they are hated and chased by people. Those dreams do not come often, but when they do, Bad is there to hold Skeppy, whisper in his hair that he is alright, that they’re both alright, and that they can handle everything that’s going on right now.

And Bad himself, well. After leaving the town, his nightmares about the night of the ritual stopped almost completely. They come rarely, only when the anxiety gets really bad. Before, in the forest, Bad had them pretty often. It’s one of the reasons he mostly slept not as himself, but in the minds of the animals.

2) Littering

Bad will not maim someone for not getting a candy wrapper in a trashcan, especially if there are people around. But if someone leaves a big mess in the nature, or even (*gasp*) does it regularly, Bad can and will try and teach them a lesson. As in: pull a cautionary (and probably slightly terrifying) prank on the misbehaving person.

It doesn’t always work out as Bad intended, and may even scare some people off anything relating to nature for good, but, according to Bad, it’s still “a fun and useful little hobby to have :3”.

3) Rat

Rat takes a looong time to warm up to any other animals that infringe on her territory. And Skeppy might be a little shit (and his own rights for Bad are debatable) but he is Rat’s territory still (by approximation from Bad). So, she can gatekeep Skeppy a little bit. Not as much as she does Bad, but the man gotta know his place – Rat comes before other dogs for him too.

4) Tree climbing and strength

Oh, Bad can an will climb down a tree like a full-on creepy creature he is: head down, using only his claws, with Skeppy tucked under one arm. Maybe not even upside down, if Skeppy is lucky, and wasn’t too annoying about wanting to stay up on the tree for the night :D

5) Meeting other spn creatures

Oh, that’s a big question (: Yes, they do meet other cryptids, befriend some, and get in trouble with some, and deal with a handful of new and old spn troubles :D

I always thought that Bad and Skeppy’s life after the main story can make a series of short stories (or one big episodic one) dealing with exactly that: the guys traveling around, meeting other cryptids, learning more about themselves and the world, trying to build a life between human and supernatural crisis going on. Just like In The Dark it can based on the mix between the real life and the minecraft-verse events.

I wanted to focus more on finishing the main story first, though, so these stories are not as sought through, I didn’t even write down any of them yet :D

But if you have more concrete questions, ideas, or suggestions (about a specific person, or a specific thing happening) – write me, I’ll think about it, and how it can work with the theme and worldbuilding I have in mind.

6) Stealing + Protectiveness

Skeppy can sometimes forget about, ahem, moral principles, or human decency… emphasis oh “human”. He’s nature and different worldview it gives, it seeps through in his life and actions even more with age. Especially after he’s been away from actual people for a long while. So, I guess, he might at times steal something that is very important to someone, or do something that could be considered weird or rude in general.

And if Bad really needs something, or is in danger – all rules are down. If there is no one to reality check Skeppy, he might proceed to walk on heads, and commit risky and reckless crimes just to help or save Bad.

They both are quite bad with that, the protecting each other thing. Bad, tho, can be more fiscally violent in his protectiveness.

7) Adrenaline and rollercoasters

Well, it’s not that Bad likes adrenaline specifically, he’s just very curious, likes to try new things, and is almost unkillable. So he can just- just go for everything that’s interesting for him with reckless abandon, and if it goes wrong – welp. Bones can heal limbs can regrow, and the cool abandoned caves will not explore themselves. He’ll have to learn to ease up with lack of selfcare though. Because Bad can’t always leave Skeppy to fend for himself, while he heals, and Skeppy does NOT like seeing Bad getting hurt so much, and not caring about himself at all.

This probably comes back to Bad dealing with his spn nature and learning to make peace between it and himself. And to his anxiety, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.

And hey, it’s the same for Skeppy and his lack of adequate moral compass at times :D

There will be a lot of tension and growing they’d have to do in regards to all this.

Also Skeppy is the one who’s really into chasing the thrills :D Man spent nearly half a year annoying probably-murderous-forest-spirit just for little not-boring fun, jeez :DD

Rollercoasters are a no go, tho. They go up in the air, real high, and, once again, Skeppy and highs do not mix, they do not mingle, they will not have tea parties (with or without bears). Unless, of course, Skeppy really needs to prove something. Then he’ll go on a ride, and die an honorable death, and will never admit he screamed all the way through it.

8) Dates

(*insert an innuendo from Skeppy here*) But, ahm, actually I’d say they love going on picnics: getting food, and hanging around in the nature for a while.

And I honestly donno what I like to think about the most… I just really enjoy the vibe and the atmosphere of the whole story, and how Bad and Skeppy interact in general.

It all is a real delight to write about :D

---

In The Dark - masterpost

[fictionalabyss]

Mated : Forgotten.

Pairings : Alpha!Sam x Omega!Reader (onesided), Alpha!Sam x Omega!Jessica Moore, Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader.

Word count : 6,071

Written for : @spnabobingo​

Square : College Au

Warning : Angst ahead! a/b/o dynamics, one sided attraction, best friends to strangers, hurt, depression, feelings of abandonment/being forgotten, mating, struggling with school, canon death, reunion, more people getting hurt emotionally, Sam isn't handling things well.

Prompt that inspired this fic : “When I told you your shirt was inside out I didn’t expect you to take it off right in front of me” - Sent by @sorenmarie87​

Masterlist • Patreon • Ko-fi.

Part 1 of Mated.

SPN A/B/O Bingo Round 5 Masterlist.

You were sitting on Sam’s bed flipping through one of his philosophy books as you waited for him to be ready to go. Since his class ran later than yours, it left you waiting on him while he headed off to the showers. When he finally returned, you glanced up from the book and chuckled, eyes going back down to barely look at the words on the page before you flipped to the next one.

“What?”

“Your shirt’s inside out.” you smiled to yourself. You glance up to see him roll his eyes at you before he reaches down and pulls his shirt up and over his head. The smile on your lips fades. Sam is built. You’ve always known he was built to some degree, the muscles in his arms under a t-shirt were no secret. He was an Alpha, he was strong, and god damn, he was built. His stomach flat and hard, muscles showing definition that had you swallowing. Sam was.. You let out a shaky breath before tearing your eyes away. “I uh. I forgot I had to do something.” You scrambled up from his bed, tossing his book aside.

“What? What do you mean-”

“I’ll be like 10 minutes, max, okay. I’ll meet you there.”

“Y/N?” he called after you.

“I’ll meet you there!” You hurried from his room, praying he hadn’t smelt it, that you got out of there quick enough. You needed to get away from him, needed to calm down. You’ve known Sam since you started at Stanford. Your room was just down the hall from his. You partied together, you hung out together. Sometimes he helped you study. But in all that time, you’d never had this reaction to him before. Then again, you’d never seen him take off his shirt before.

You hurried into your room, slamming the door behind you just as someone scented the air and turned towards you. Leaning on the door, you closed your eyes and took deep calming breaths. You couldn’t let him smell you like this. You couldn’t let him know just how he affected you. He was your best friend, nothing more. You weren’t even attracted to him in that way.

Were you?

It took some time to calm yourself down, then you had to hit a shower to scrub at your skin in a desperate attempt to get rid of the ‘horny Omega’ smell that you felt like you couldn’t shake. Then it was get dressed and rush out to meet Sam. You were a little later than you’d said, but you knew Sam wouldn’t mind too much.

You rushed to the restaurant near campus that you two often frequented together. As you approached, you looked through the window, smiling at first, as Sam was sitting at your favorite table, but he wasn’t alone. Your smile fell fast as you watched the blonde smile at him as they spoke. She tucked her hair behind her ear, looking down as Sam smiled back at her, and you swallowed down pain.

Why did it hurt to see him like this? He was your best friend, you wanted him happy, hell, you’d been his wingman a time or two while drinking, but right here, right now.. It hurt.

Tearing your eyes away, you turned your back to the restaurant. You didn’t know what to do. Did you go in there and interrupt whatever discussion they were having? If you did, would you suddenly become a third wheel? It looked like they were having a good time, maybe he’d invite her to eat with the two of you. Or did you leave, walk away, let him have his moment and pretend you either were never there, or that you are happy for him?

Why did this have to hit now? Why the sudden shift?

Squeezing your eyes shut tight, you tried to picture Sam as he’d been just a few hours ago. Your dorky bff who liked to tease you like you were his little sister. The guy you’d annoy to no end just because you could, because it was fun, because you knew that somewhere he had an older brother and admit it or not, Sam missed him.

But you couldn’t. Picturing him brought back the image of him pulling off his shirt as if it was nothing, because it should have been nothing. Hell, it probably still was to him.

You turned, looking back over your shoulder at the window once more. She was talking to him, and he was looking around outside. He glanced over his shoulder and you whipped around, back to him once again, half hoping he wouldn’t spot you. Praying he hadn’t. You steeled your nerves, glanced back and you knew, he had. He was looking right at you with a confused look on his face.

Taking a deep breath, you turned and headed inside.

“Sorry I’m late.” you mumbled as you got to the table, not making a move to sit anywhere.

“You okay?” He looked worried.

“Fine.” you gave him a forced smile. He didn’t look like he was buying it.

“I’ll leave you two to your dinner.” The blonde gave you a small smile as she got up from her seat. Sam’s eyes went from you, to her, and he looked like he was about to stop her, and that only hurt you more. If he did, you’d excuse yourself and head back to the dorms. “Looks like you two could use some privacy. It was nice meeting you, Sam.”

“Yeah.. you too..” he watched her leave and go to another table, then he was looking at you again, waiting for you to sit, to say something, but you seemed to just stand there awkwardly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” He motioned to the seat across from him that she just vacated and you sat awkwardly, hands in your lap like you were going to bolt at any moment. “Nothing’s wrong, Sam.” you lied.

He studied you for a moment. “Then why’d you bolt?”

“Told you, I forgot to do something. I’m sorry I’m late, okay, it took longer than expected.”

“You forgot to shower?” Your eyes shot up to meet his with mild fear in them. How’d he know that's what you did? Did he smell just how turned on you’d been before you ran out? “I can smell it. You used so much body wash, too much.” he scrunched up his nose as if it offended him. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” you reiterated, trying to sound annoyed at his prying. You grabbed a menu as if you didn’t already know the damn thing by heart and pretended to look it over, using it as a barrier between the two of you.

“Why were you just standing outside? Why didn’t you come in?”

“Because you looked like you were having a nice time with blondie, so I considered just going back to the dorms. Are we ordering? Or would you rather I leave so you can get back to that? I don’t mind getting food to go.”

“Y/N-”

“I’ll go.” you stood, ready to leave, but Sam grabbed your wrist to stop you. “What?” you snapped. “And don’t ask me what’s wrong again, I’m fine, so just drop it.”

“Sit.” When you didn’t move, Sam sighed. “Please sit. Come on, it’s our night. I wouldn’t bail on our night for anything. You’re my best friend.” Sam gave you a half smile and you rolled your eyes at him.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” you muttered, dropping back into your seat and Sam smiled. Sam Winchester and his smile were going to be the death of you.

A week later you’re practically skipping up the hall to Sam’s room. Figuring he’s showering, as usual, you barely knock before entering. You freeze, however, when you see a familiar blonde sitting on Sam’s bed. “Oh, uh, sorry, I wasn’t aware someone was in here.”

“It’s fine.” she smiled, waving it off. “Sam went to shower, he should be back any minute.”

“Yeah..” you nod, but stand awkwardly in the middle of the room. It doesn’t take long though, for Sam to walk in. He’s wearing jeans and a button down shirt that he’s still buttoning up, and that makes a smile cross your lips as you cock an eyebrow. “Little over dressed there, Sam.” you tease, and he looks up, freezing in his task.  You see something you wish you hadn’t seen. Confusion and then guilt. He forgot.

“Uh-” he looks from you, to the girl on his bed, then back at you.

“Let me guess, you’re bailing.” He opens his mouth, but you cut him off. “It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry.” you can hear her apologetic voice behind you. “I didn’t know you guys had plans.. Sam must have forgotten..”

“Yeah, it’s easy to forget something that happens on the same day every single week for two years.” You gave Sam a tight smile. You weren’t going to hide the hurt this time. “But it’s fine. It’s not like you had any way to let me know at any point today, right?” With that, you started for the door.

“I’ll make it up to you.” He promised.

“Yeah, I know.” you glanced back at him. “You kids go have fun.” You gave them a smile before headed out and hurrying to your room. Once the door shut behind you, you felt the sting of tears. So much for not bailing on your night for anything.

“Are you mad at me?” Sam stood in your room a few days later while you worked at your desk, your back to him.

“Why would I be mad at you?” you answered, without looking back at him.

“You won’t even look at me.”

“I’m studying.”

Sam sighed, licking his lips before going to sit on your bed. “And usually you let me help you.”

“Usually you let me know if plans change.” you counter, still not looking back at him.

“So you are mad.”

“Not mad, no. Hurt.” this time you do turn. “You said you wouldn’t bail on me for anything, and literally the next week, you bail on me without a word like I don’t mean shit, Sam.”

“I just forgot-”

“Forgot that we had plans? Or forgot to tell me? Because I call bullshit on both.” Sam opened his mouth to respond but you didn’t let him. “Here’s the thing, Sam. Either you asked her, knowing you had plans, or she asked you and you said yes knowing you had plans.” Sam sighed, looking down at the floor. “As for forgetting to tell me, I’m three doors down. You know my schedule, you could have knocked any time. You have my cell number, you could have called or text me.”

“I just forgot, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah.” you turned back to your books. You want to be mad at him, you want to tell him to fuck off just so he realizes just how bad he hurt you, but another part of you, a part of you that realized just how much Sam Winchester means to you, wants him to come over, hug you and tell you that no one else matters to him as much as you do. “You sorry for not talking to me for three days on top of that?” you ask casually. “Must have been a hell of a date to forget that everyone else exists.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry for that too.” He’s quiet for a moment, watching you work. “Are we still on for this week?”

“Depends.”

“On?”

“On if you have plans.” you look over your shoulder at him. “Because apparently my standing appointment is subject to changes without prior notice.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Don’t get all fine print on me.”

“Then don’t add fine print. If we have plans, and they change, have the balls to tell me.”

“I will. I promise. And I’m sorry.”

“Mhm.” you turn back to your books. “Blondie sticking around?”

“Jess.” he answers and you can hear the smile. “Her name is Jess, and maybe. I mean, it went good.”

“If blondie hurts you, I’ll kill her.” It’s the best friend thing to say, right? But it’s also the truth. The idea of her being around makes your chest ache. But if she hurt him, if she hurt the single most important person in your life, you’d kill her.

Sam laughed. “Yeah, yeah. And I’ll kill any guy who hurts you.”

“Guess I won’t need to be saving up any money for bail. There is no one.” No one but you, you idiot, and you already hurt me, you think to yourself.

“There will be.” Sam smiles behind you. “You’re a catch. Only an idiot wouldn’t see it and jump at the opportunity.” You scoff at that. “What? It’s true! You’re smart, and beautiful. You care about other people, you’re loyal-”

“To a fault.”

“It’s a good thing.”

“Tell that to my constantly breaking heart.” you mutter.

His smile is gone. “Either someone hurt you, or you are mad.”

Rolling your eyes, you toss a book back at him that he easily catches. “Either help me study or get out.”

That week had been just you and Sam and you were thankful. There was no mention of blondie, just dinner, drinks and a movie, like old times. Smiling and laughing with your best friend. You wondered if maybe it had been a one time deal. As much as you wanted him to be happy no matter what, he was your best friend after all, a part of you was happy at the idea of her being out of the picture again. Now that you knew how you felt about Sam, you could gauge if he felt the same.

So that was your plan for this week. Figure out if Sam could feel the same.

You were smiling as you headed to your usual restaurant, but you were confused to not see Sam at your usual table at the window. The only time he sat somewhere else was if it was occupied, but it sat empty. Maybe you were early.

Opening the door, you smiled at the waitress before scanning the room. The smile fell fast when you spotted him. He wasn’t sitting at the usual table because he was in a booth along the wall and across from him, blondie.

Slowly, you made your way over. “What’s going on? Did you forget me again?”

Sam smiles up at you and chuckles. “No. I thought maybe we could all hang out this week. You and Jess could get to know each other.” You glanced over at her across from him, and she smiled. “Is that okay?”

“A heads up would have been nice.” you answered. Where were you even supposed to sit, next to her? Hell no. And sitting next to Sam while he’d be looking at her like that felt just as weird.

“Come, sit.” Sam scooted over in the bench, giving you room. With a sigh, you sat. “Jess is in the nursing program.” Sam praised, smiling over at her.

“How lovely.” you answered, grabbing for a menu as Sam continued to talk her up. He was telling you everything about her, her shy smile on him as she chimed in a few times to add or correct something. But he just kept smiling at her, talking about her..

You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t sit here.

Getting up, you headed for the counter. Stopping the waitress there to give her your order and tell her it was to go. A moment later, Sam came over. “What’s going on?”

“Being the third wheel is not on my list of things to do today, Sam. Why am I even here?”

“You’re not the third wheel. You guys are getting to know each other-”

“I’ve been here for ten minutes, and you haven’t said a single thing about me.” you looked over at him, and you knew he could see the pain he caused you again. “It’s all about blondie.”

“Jess.” he corrected.

You roll your eyes and turn back to the counter. “Next time you want to have a date on friend night, just fucking tell me.”

“That’s not what I want-”

“It’s what it feels like. It feels like I’m nothing more than an afterthought. You said you’d kill anyone who hurt me, right?” you look at him again. “You’re hurting me, Sam. You want to date blondie, date her. But don’t turn our time into date time. It’s bullshit, it’s unfair and you know it. I had a shit week, okay? A long shitty week, and all I wanted was to relax with my best friend. Instead, I get to unknowingly sit in on date night.”

“I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t think it through..”

“No, you didn’t. You should have at least told me.”

“Come back. Please? We’ll go for drinks after, and-”

Your order was placed on the counter and you smiled at the waitress as you handed over a few bills. “No, I think I’m just going to head back to the dorms.” you picked up your order and turned to him, a glance going over to Jess as she watched you and Sam. “Enjoy your date, Sam. Call me whenever you’re free to hang out again.” and with that, you left.

Once outside, you turned back and looked into the restaurant windows. You could see him crossing the restaurant, his eyes on you and a look on his face that furrowed his brows and turned down his lips. But then his attention was off of you as he disappeared out of sight and towards the table she was waiting in.

Your relationship with Sam from then on, was strained. Bullshit conversation starters were sent via text, or online messaging. A ‘hey, how are you doing’ but not much beyond that.

It hurt.

You barely saw him. More often than not, when you did, it was in passing. Walking past him in the hall, or out on campus. A lot of the time he was with her, or on his way out, likely going to see her. You were barely even an afterthought these days.

Your mood only plummeted further as the weeks turned to months.

Then one day, coming back from class, you get to the top of the stairs for your floor and you see him, box in hand, and you freeze. “You’re moving.”

That’s when he seems to notice you’re there, his eyes coming up to meet yours and he smiles sheepishly. “Hey! Yeah. Uh- me and jess.. We got a place off campus.”

“Moving a little fast there, don’t you think, Sam.” you try to keep it light and teasing, try to hide some of the pain. But then you notice something. He’s different, his scent, it’s off. Your brow furrows as you lean in and scent at him. “It’s changed..”

“Yeah, about that..” He shifts the weight of the box. “We mated.”

You feel your heart shattering all over again. He mated her? She’s only been around a few months and he mated her?

“The new place, it’s not that far, so we can still hang-”

“We don’t hang out as it is, Sam, so I doubt it.” you shrug and start away.

“Y/N?”

“Have a nice life, Sam.” you hurry into your room and slam the door just as the tears start to fall. You’re sitting on your bed, head in your hands when the door bursts open and Sam’s storming in. “Get out.”

Ignoring you, he drops his box on your desk. “What the hell is wrong?”

“Get out.”

“Why do you hate me?”

“I don’t hate you.” you sigh, still not looking up. You can’t, you can’t look at him.

“Either you hate me, or you hate her, and you don’t even know her, you refused to get to know her. I thought we were friends!”

“Best friends.” you snap. “At least I thought we were.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? I’ve been there for you, I’ve always been there for you.” You laugh at that, giving your head a shake. “What do you mean, no? Up until you started hating me for being happy-”

“I don’t hate you, you fucking idiot. I love you!” you snapped, glaring at him.

“What?”

“I love you. How could you not see it? I’m not mad because you found your mate, Sam. I don’t hate her for being with you. I’m hurt. I’m hurt because while you found your whole world, I lost mine to her.” Sam just started at you. “I stopped being a part of your world and that hurt more than anything. I don’t hear from you, Sam. I get a half hearted text once in a while, and that’s it. You were my person, you were the person I talked to every single day, and suddenly I don’t have that. Every time I accept it, you pop up, and you give me false hope just to vanish again. Three fucking doors down, and not once did you stop by.”

Sam looks down, looks ashamed. Like he’s finally realizing just how long it’s been since he’s seen you face to face, spoken directly to you.

“All I wanted was some of your time. It didn’t have to be every single week, Sam. I just wanted my best friend and I lost him. You have no idea what that’s done to me.”

Hearing you sniffle, Sam looks up, watches the tears streaming down your cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Me too.” you wipe at your cheeks and turn away from him, ending this conversation, ending this whole encounter. You want him to hold you, to tell you everything will be okay again, but you don't expect him to. You aren’t that close anymore and haven’t been for a while now. So you hope he’ll leave.

You hear him move to the desk, hear his box shift across the papers there, but he doesn’t leave, not right away. “You’re failing..” Turning, you see him looking at one of your last tests, his eyes scanning the page and then looking up at you with a confused look. “How are you failing?”

You shrug. “Don’t exactly have my study buddy anymore, do I?”

“You could have called, I-”

“I did.” you give him a sad, heartbroken smile. “I did call, a week before I had to take that. You were busy. You said you’d call back and you didn’t.”

“Shit.. I must have forgot..”

“Yeah.” You stand there watching him, he's looking at all the other papers on your desk. Papers and tests all graded and showing the steady decline in your work. “You should go, Sam. Blondie’s probably waiting for you. Wouldn’t want to upset your mate.”

“She’d understand if I’m a little late, she-”

“My heat’s due.” his eyes shoot up to meet yours. “Please leave before you make it worse. It’s been bad enough as it is the last few months.”

Sam’s eyes slide over you before he nods, putting down the papers and picking up his box. He quietly stands there for a minute, like he’s trying to figure out what to say, trying to find some way to make it right. But there isn’t. With a pain filled sigh, Sam slowly makes his way out of the room.

Tears stream down your face as you hurry to close the door behind him. Your body shaking with sobs as you lean against the door and cry out your heartache for what feels like the millionth time.

It’s been a month since he moved in with Jess, a month since he’s seen you. You blocked him online, you didn’t answer his texts when he tried to reach out. It made him realize how you felt all those months.

After the encounter, he’d been upset. He told Jess a quick version, leaving out a few details, basically just told her how he’d forgotten to maintain the relationship he’d had with you in his excitement of meeting her, and it left you feeling alone and depressed. Jess told him to make it right, make it up to you, but he couldn’t, could he. Not really, you loved him, and he was in love with someone else.

But then he remembered what you’d said. You just wanted his time, just wanted to be in his life.

“Jess?” he called out, before getting up and going to find her in the kitchen.

“Yeah?”

“Would you mind if every other Saturday I spent with Y/N? Just me and her?” Jess turned and looked at him. “You guys were right, I neglected her and I need to make it up to her. I hate that she’s not talking to me. It hurts, and I know it’s not even close to how bad I hurt her.”

Jess smiled at him. “No, I don’t mind at all. You should go tell her.”

“I will.” Sam smiled before leaning in to kiss her. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” she smiled back. As Sam was leaving, she called out “Let her know she can come over any time, and there’s an open diner invitation. I’d really like to properly meet her one day.”

“Will do.” Sam called back before the apartment door closed behind him.

It didn’t take too long for Sam to be hurrying up the stairs in his old dorm building. A smile spread over his face, excited to see you. He’d missed you and he couldn’t wait to surprise you. He hoped that the gesture would be enough to start bridging the gap he’d put between you. He didn’t expect for things to be like they had been, he wasn’t sure it could ever be that again, but he hoped that he could have you back in his life.

He barely knocked on the door before opening it, but once inside, his smile fell. It was empty. The bed stripped bare, the desk empty. No more belongings, no more decorations, it was like no one had ever moved in. It was the right room, he knew it was. He moved around the room, looking for some hint, some clue, but other than a layer of dust, nothing.

“Oh, Hey, Sam.”

Sam turned and found John, the RA. “Where is she?”

John shrugged. “Went home, I think. Said she needed a break from school. She was really struggling.”

“When?”

“About three weeks ago?”

Three weeks? You’ve been gone for three weeks and he hadn’t noticed? Sam dropped onto the bed as his mind raced. You left without a word. But then again, he’d done the same thing, right? Moving out of his dorm without ever once mentioning it to you. It was chance that you’d come up the stairs just as he was about to go down them. It was chance that you’d found out. If you hadn’t would he have ever even mentioned it? Or would he forget that like he’d forgotten everything else.

“I really fucked up.” he muttered to himself. “Hey, John? She leave an address or number or anything?”

John shook his head. “Nope. Just let me know she was going. Figured you knew, being her best friend and all.”

“No.. No, I didn't. We haven’t talked much lately..” Sam mumbled. “Thanks, John.” Sam stood, and started out of the room.

“Take it easy, Sam.” John clapped him on the back as he headed past.

“Yeah.. you too..”

There was an ache in chest as he slowly made his way back home. An ache he knew Jess saw as soon as he was in the door. “Sam?”

“She’s gone.. She left, she went back home.. I can’t fix it, Jess. I lost my best friend for good.”

Sam dropped into one of the kitchen chairs as Jess came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her head leaning on the back of his. He pulled out his phone and tried one last time. One last time to reach you and then he’d leave you alone.

<< I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you so bad you had to leave. Please, just let me know you’re okay.

Heading back home to the midwest had been the best thing you could have done for yourself. You blocked Sam on everything, ignored texts and calls. After about three weeks they stopped and you were finally able to heal, finally able to forget all the pain Sam put you through.

You had contact with a few people you’d known in a few classes. Thankfully none of them mentioned  Sam to you.

Not until they told you about the fire. About Jess.

You found yourself back in Palo Alto, dressed in black and standing with people you barely knew for a girl you never bothered to get to know. She might have been nothing to you, but she’d been everything to Sam. Your heart broke for him. Losing a mate was the hardest thing anyone could go through.

Glancing around, you were surprised he wasn’t there. You expected him to be here, to be with her family as they grieved the loss of their daughter, but he was nowhere to be seen. You looked forward again, watching as people took roses and gently placed them on her coffin. You decided to do the same.

Taking one in your hand, you slowly made your way closer, stepping up just as the person before you stepped away. “I’m sorry.” you whispered quietly. “You didn’t deserve this. I’m sorry, Jess.” Placing the rose with the others, you quietly walked away.

You were sitting in the bar you had frequented in your time at college. Lifting a drink to your lips, you paused about half way before you set it down and pulled out your phone. Licking your lips, you opened a text chain you had long ago ignored. You hoped he hadn’t changed numbers.

<< I’m sorry for your loss, Sam.

Closing your phone, you put it down and picked up your drink again, downing the last of it before motioning for the bartender to bring you another.

It was about twenty minutes later when you heard a surprised voice behind you. “Y/N?” You turned, and there he was, in a dark suit all funeral ready, and so much pain etched into his face. If you didn’t know better, you’d have thought he’d actually gone to the funeral. Maybe he said his goodbyes alone after everyone else left. “What are you doing here?”

“Heard about the fire. I might not have been friends with her, Sam, but she was everything to you. I came to pay my respects to your mate.”

Sam gave you a half smile at that. “You really would have liked her if you’d have given her a chance. I had hoped you two would be friends too.. Eventually.”

“Maybe we would have. But I was too hurt to try.”

“I know.. I know, I’m sorry. I tried to make things right, I showed up at your dorm but.. You were already gone. I think that’s when I fully realized just how bad I ruined our friendship.” he gave you a sad smile. “Jess had wanted you to come over for dinner.”

“I really am sorry, Sam.”

“I’m just glad you’re here.” The look he gave you, you knew he needed a hug. You turned in your seat and opened your arms for him. Sam happily moved in for the hug, holding you tight against him as if he was afraid you’d leave again. “I’m really happy you’re here.”

“You needed me. How could I stay away.”

When you both pulled away, you cupped his cheek for a moment, and he smiled sadly at you. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

“Hey, Sammy!”

You turned to the newcomer who stepped up to you and Sam. Sam glanced back at him, and opened his mouth to say something when you spoke first. “Hey, Dean.” That stunned Sam.

“Hey, princess. What are you doing out here?”

“How do you know my brother?” Sam asked, a confused look on his face as he looked from Dean to you.

“That’s your brother?” Sam nodded, and you glanced to Dean, who smirked with a wink. “I didn’t know he was your brother.. Uh- Couple weeks after I left school, Dean was in town. Helped me through a bad heat.” you shrugged. “We talk, I hear from him every few days at least. Meet up when he’s close by. I didn’t know you were coming here.”

“Been here since the fire. I’m the one who pulled Sammy out of the house.”

You looked to Sam. “You were inside.. You saw-” You swallowed at the look on Sam’s face. “Uh- drinks on me tonight.” you turned to the bartender as he handed you your drink. “Make it three.”

“So.” Dean sat in the stool next to you. “The guy you mentioned who loved someone else-”

“Your brother.” You gave Dean a sad smile with a nod. “Yeah.”

Dean turned and looked at his brother. “Is it bad that I’m glad he did?” he teased with a smile. “I got to enjoy the sweet little Omega he let slip away.” Dean licked his lips with a smirk.

“Fuck you, Dean.” Sam snapped, taking up the seat on your other side with a scowl.

As the bartender put the drinks in front of you, you sighed. “Keep ‘em coming.”

“Will do.” he nodded and wandered off.

“So, princess. How long are you in town for?” Dean lifted his drink to his lips.

“Not sure yet, why?”

“Ruts due next week. Was thinking of heading your way for it anyways.” he smiled. Sam growled next to you. “She ain’t yours, Sammy.”

“She ain’t fucking yours, either.” Sam growled before downing his entire glass. “Why her, Dean? Of all the fucking people you’ve fucked, why her?”

You answered before Dean could. “Because I deserve a bit of happiness too, Sam.” The anger he’d been showing melting away to guilt. “I’m sorry it’s your brother, but I have fun when I’m with him. There’s no bullshit, no heartache. I know where I stand.” Sam licked his lips before looking down into his empty glass, and that’s when you turned to Dean. “I’ll stay as long as you need me to if you’re sticking around. If not, we can meet up in the usual place. Just let me know.”

Dean leaned in and kissed your cheek. Sam stood and stormed his way outside, Dean watching him go. “He’s not taking this well.”

“But now he knows what it feels like.” you muttered, lifting your glass. “Feeling like you’ve been replaced and forgotten. Did you meet her?”

“Once.” Dean answered. “She was nice enough.”

“Was he happy?”

“Yeah, he was happy. Was about to interview for the law school.” you glanced over to Dean. “He didn’t go. He’s taking the fire bad, this.. you and me? Just making things harder for him.”

“If he wants to be in my life, he’s going to have to get used to the idea that you’re a part of it now.” you gave Dean a soft smile. “Just like I had to accept that she became his.”

“Where are you staying tonight?”

You chuckled at that, ducking your head down a touch. “I don’t think tonight is such a good idea, Dean.” you looked up again, but glanced to the door Sam had stormed out of. “But I’ll be there for your rut if you want.”

“Oh, I want.” Dean grinned, but then sighed. “I guess I better go after him, huh.”

“Yeah, probably.”

“I’ll call you later.” this time when Dean leaned in, his lips brushed against yours. “See you around, princess. And don’t worry about him. He’ll come around eventually.”

“Yeah.. I hope so.”

Dean downed the rest of his drink before heading out after his brother. You watched him go and sighed softly to yourself. A part of you felt bad. You never expected to get over Sam using his own brother. But at the same time, Dean was so different from Sam. He’d been exactly what you needed. In fact, despite everything today had thrown at you, you found yourself smiling as you looked forward to helping Dean through a rut.

“Can’t seem to shake the Winchesters..”

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Tagging :  Sam -  @evyiione​

Dean - @akshi8278​  @adoptdontshoppets​   @evyiione @karikatz12481​ @idksupernatural​  @deandreamernp​

SPN -  @sandlee44  @just-another-busy-fangirl  @mrswhozeewhatsis   @deanandsamsbitch  @deans-baby-momma  @thebescht @67-chevy-baby @supraveng   @musiclovinchic93 @holyfuckloueh  @ksgeekgirl   @hobby27 @maddiepants  @roxyspearing @onethirstyunicorn    @fandom-princess-forevermore     @kalesrebellion   @deanwanddamons   @thoughts-and-funnies​

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[meganlpie]

Firefighter

Based on this request from @igotmadskills​  Hello! I was wondering if I could request a cute Supernatural fic where Dean is a firefighter and saves the reader and maybe he checks up on them and they get to know each other and fall in love? I need some fluff in my life lol!

Here you are, lovely! I do not own Dean. He belongs to the writers/creators of SPN. 

Warnings: AU, fire, fluff

Pairings: Dean Winchester x reader

The fire had broken out so suddenly, there was nothing you could do but stay low to the ground and wait for the fire department to show up. Your business was literally going up in smoke, but all you could think about was getting your employees out safely. While it was a horrible incident, you couldn't be entirely upset after a bit. After all, if not for the fire, you never would have met Dean.

         Dean had been the one to pull you from the fire, covered in ash and smelling like smoke. He made sure you got to the ambulance to get checked out before returning to help put out the blazing fire that had been your building. You were so thankful for insurance. That would help replace almost everything. But you would have to figure out to pay your employees while they weren't working. It wasn't their fault and they needed to make a living too.

         After the fire was out, you stood next to the ambulance with the shock blanket wrapped around you. "Hey, you okay?" You looked over to see one of the most handsome men you'd ever seen in your life. He had short hair that didn't get in the way of the freckles dotted across his cheeks and nose. His eyes were the kind of green you thought only existed in fanfiction. In any other situation, you could have easily swooned over him.

         "Yeah. I'm fine. Medics say we should all be okay." He smiled and offered his now glove free hand. "Dean." You gave him your name then sighed. "I should go talk to my people. They'll want to know what's going on." He nodded. "Sure. Listen, I always ask if I can check up on people after something like this. Would you be okay if I do that?" You were confused, but agreed. Dean smiled. "Okay." When he left, you were certain you'd never see him again.

         Yet, three weeks later, as you were standing outside your business once again, there he was. "Hey, Y/N. How ya doing?" You practically jumped at the sound of his voice. "Oh, good. Just checking on the rebuilding and remodeling. It's taking longer than I hoped, but it can't be helped. Anyway, I never got the chance to thank you. For saving me."

         "It's kind of my job," he said with a grin. You laughed a little at that. Dean glanced over at the building. "How much longer?" You shrugged. "They said it depends on how badly the incoming storm hits. Could be up to another month before everything's finished." Before Dean could say anything else, your stomach let out a growl. You felt your skin heat with embarrassment.

         "Sorry, I've been so busy I forgot lunch." Dean looked at you for a moment, seemingly thinking. Then, he nodded to himself and asked, "Would you like to have lunch with me? I could bring you right back here when we're done." You bit your lip. "I don't know. I don't really randomly go to lunch with guys I don't know." Dean gave you another dazzling smile and held up his hands. "Choice is yours." After contemplating for a moment and listening to your gut instinct, you decided there wouldn't be any harm. You didn't get any weird vibes from the guy. "Okay, yeah. Sure."

         Dean was a perfect gentleman during lunch. He asked you about yourself and answered your questions as best he could. Being a first responder, there were some things he didn't want to talk about and you understood that. It couldn't have been easy in a career like his. "So, do you often take strangers out for lunch?" Dean flushed a bit as he smiled. "Nope. This is a first for me. I just like helping people, I guess."

         After your lunch, Dean brought you back to your building, as he'd promised and left. But not without exchanging numbers first. If nothing else, you at least got a new friend out of a horrible situation. That made you a little bit happier about how things were going. You only hoped that the renovations to your business would finish on time.

         It was two days later that you texted Dean for the first time. Just to thank him. Somehow, you ended the conversation with a date to dinner the next evening. The dinner was just as nice as lunch had been and it began a series of little friendly outings. You weren't sure when it happened, but after a while, those dates started becoming a little less friendly and a little  more intimate.

         You hadn't even realized what was happening until one evening when Dean was walking with you to a nearby diner for a milkshake. As you walked, you felt Dean's hand slip into yours, threading your fingers together. You glanced at him and he smiled sheepishly. "Is this okay?" You looked down at your hands then back up to his face. You thought for a minute before nodding. Dean's smile grew as you felt your face heat up.

         Dean and you started going on more dates or sometimes even just cuddling together on the couch watching movies. Those were your favorites. Those moments when it was just you and Dean without no outside distractions. The part you loved the best was when Dean would wrap an arm around you and pull you close before pressing a kiss to your forehead. He made you feel special. He made you feel desired. He made you feel loved.

         After that, you began to understand what people meant when they said love comes slowly and then all at once. You had been slowly falling for him more and more every day and then, once you realized it, it came crashing down on you like a wave. You thought and maybe hoped he felt the same way. Then, one day, he surprised you by showing up at your grand reopening.

         "Dean! You're here!" He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "D? You okay?" He licked his lips. "Can we talk? Alone? Just for a minute. I wouldn't want to keep you from your celebration." Your brows drew together, but you nodded and let him lead you away from the ruckus.  

         Once alone, Dean turned back to you. "I'm a terrible boyfriend," he said suddenly, causing you to jump a bit. Before you could ask what he meant, he continued, "I work long hours. Insane ones. I never know if I'm gonna make it home. I have a bad temper. I drink too much sometimes. I play my music too loud." You stayed silent as you wondered where he was going with this. You tried not to let your mind go to the negative.

         "Even with all that, I have to tell you…I think I love you, Y/N. Even if you don't want me, you needed to know." You blinked at him in surprise. He stared back at you  waiting for you to say something. "Y-You couldn't lead with that?!" you cried after a minute, "I thought you were trying to break things off!" Dean chuckled and shook his head. "Leave you? They'd have to drag me away." You rolled your eyes and took a step closer to him. "I think I might love you too, Dean." Dean wrapped his arms around you.

         "Yeah?" You laughed. "Yeah. Now, are you gonna kiss me or not?" Dean leaned in a bit. "I'm definitely gonna kiss you." Just before his lips touched yours, his radio went off. Groaning, he pulled away from you to listen. "I gotta go, sweetheart, but we'll continue this later." You smiled. "Go save the world." With a quick peck to your lips, he was off to work, leaving you standing there grinning like an idiot.

(a/n: I hope you liked it!) 

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