#but i guess i would almost respect him more if he really went for it and made himself the god-king of latvia or something

[wedding-shemp]

occurs to me that what elon musk really wants to be is the dictator of a small country, but his imagination is so limited that when he decided he wanted to be in charge of something, the only thing he could think of was twitter. sad.

[randxmthxughts]

Child of Our Own - Tsu'tey x Omatikaya!Reader

summary: seeing his friends already awaiting their firstborns, tsu'tey begins to yearn for a baby of his own, but he is too shy to tell you about it

warnings: none really, soft and shy tsu'tey, hints at pregnancy, mentions of intercourse

wc: less than 1k

a/n: i'm officially in my tsu'tey worship era (this is your fault btw, @avatarbyamara) ik damn well that man only puts up his tough act in front of the others, but he would actually be a big softie with his mate

masterlist

“I’m assuming the mission went well?” you smile, feeling Tsu’tey place another soft kiss on your temple.

His chest presses into your back, hands resting gently on your waist, while you’re occupied with peeling the fruits he likes. He was gone for only a few hours but was acting so needy, you start to wonder if anything happened. 

“Tsu’tey,” you nudge him for an answer, but he only hums in response, now planting small kisses across your cheek and jaw.

“‘Was good,” he mutters, not wanting to bore you with the details.

“Were you safe?” you try to turn around to examine him, but Tsu’tey grunts, holding you in place.

“Just missed you.”

You guess that there’s something weighing on his mind, but you don’t push him. Tsu’tey often has moments, when all he wants to do is to hold you in his arms and listen to your soothing breathing. Eventually, he’ll give you a few hints about it anyway. So, you just pat his arm lightly and return to the task at hand. 

Tsu'tey stands with you in silence for a while longer before finally speaking up.

“Neytiri is showing.”

“I know,” you nod, “It suits her.”

As you struggle to reach for another fruit from the basket, Tsu’tey huffs in annoyance and loosens his grip on you. He takes a step back, hating the distance between your bodies, but decides to allow you to finish your work in peace. You can feel his eyes fixed on you, observing every move you make. 

“You’re very quiet today,” you turn around to face him, abandoning your task.

Tsu’tey only shakes his head, disagreeing to voice his concern. You rest your hand on his shoulder, gently pushing him down, until he gives in and kneels on the ground. You crouch down next to him, resting your hand on his thigh. 

“Talk to me, tìyawn,” you murmur.

Tsu’tey gazes at your hand in silence. But when you lean in to kiss his cheek, he turns his head, catching your lips with his instead. It’s not long before he snakes his arms around your middle again and pulls your body onto his. You giggle, as he sits you down in his lap, enjoying the closeness between you two.

“Right now?” you quirk your eyebrow at him, knowing exactly where he is leading with this.

Tsu'tey's lips find their way to your neck, and you let out a soft sigh as his warm breath tickles your skin. You tilt your head to the side, giving him better access, and he trails a few more kisses before nuzzling his face into your neck.

“‘Aani said that Ti'ung is with a child too,” he whispers, catching your attention.

The two of you have mated before Eywa almost a year ago but Tsu'tey never pressured you into becoming a mother so soon. Just for a while, all he wanted was to have you all to himself. To enjoy restless nights with you without a worry of hurting you or having to share you with anybody else. The first few times you mated, you watched him struggle, as he was holding off the unbearable pleasure, before pulling his member out of you and releasing into his hand instead. Presumably, it became a thing he did every time, and you’ve grown so used to it, that you never once paid a second thought to it.

He was always so respectful and gentle with you, loving every bit of your body, every sound that would escape your lips. And despite his readiness to move into the next stage of your lives, Tsu'tey never allowed himself to impregnate you without earning your permission first. But what he failed to realize is that while you were trembling underneath him, reaching your orgasm, you were never able to think, let alone speak about wanting him to release inside of you. 

“What are you hinting at, Tsu’tey?” you pull slightly back to look into his eyes.

“That it might be nice if, growing up, our child is surrounded by a few good kids,” he answers.

“Well, I’m sure Neytiri’s and Jake’s child is going to be just as good as they are,” you nod, agreeing, “And Aani’s and Ti'ung’s too.”

Tsu’tey hums, grateful that you finish his thoughts for him. That you know him so well, see him through and through. Being a man of a few words, he would often get irritated when others failed to understand his thoughts. But with you, it's different. All he cares about is that you see him for who he is, no one else.

“We need to catch up then, huh?” you grin.

Tsu’tey feels his chest swell with love by the way you look at him. So excited, so desperate to create a life with him. He pulls you in for a kiss, pouring all of his gratitude into it, as his hands reach for the ties of your loincloth. You don’t hesitate to reciprocate his desire, and soon the two of you become lost in each other.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

headcanons of tsu'tey reacting to his mate's pregnancy

[dyns33]

Family honor

So Alfie x Y/N Shelby wife will be a little series now

There were several differences between a Gypsy wedding and a Jewish wedding.

The most obvious being that gypsy marriage was not recognized by anyone except gypsies.

But if it wasn't celebrated, you could walk past a priest, a rabbi, an imam or the fucking King himself, to live for years with the same person, under the same roof, with children, that would not have the slightest importance for the gypsies.

Alfie Solomons muttered several times that none of this was kosher, but he respected all the rites and traditions of Y/N's family. Even drinking alcohol, he who hated having a foggy mind.

"Already quite foggy the rest of the time, love. But if your savages of brothers insist…"

“The savages insist.” John said, giving him a whole bottle of whiskey.

“I can’t believe this asshole is going to become one of us.”

"Oh, Arthur, I'm touched that you accept me so quickly into your heart."

It took several people besides Tommy and Y/N to stop them from killing each other, when they were completely drunk.

Then they insisted on walking together in the horse field, the older Shelby brother ending up giving his blessing before falling asleep under a tree, making it clear that he would slit Alfie's throat if he did not treat his beloved little sister correctly.

The wandering jew left him to return with the others, who were dancing and singing. A perfect wedding, completely normal.

If he was offended when Y/N told him that the Jewish marriage was practically the same, he didn't show it, just made a strange sound with his nose.

There may have been less alcohol, and it was legally recognized, but the rest was a gathering of a lot of loud people, not speaking English, jumping around and congratulating them on their union.

Y/N, however, quickly noticed the biggest difference between gypsy marriage and Jewish marriage.

Although they had been a little surprised and worried by her choice of husband, her family had decided to give a chance to Alfie Solomons, whom they judged solely because of his actions. The rest didn't matter in the slightest.

With the Camden community, it wasn’t so simple.

“Your lovely wife is going to convert ?” an old woman asked, although it sounded more like an order than a question.

"Ah, frau Aldermann. It is true that I am such a pious man myself, it is a very important subject that my wife and I have talked about a lot. Isn't that right, treacle ?"

“Good, good.” sighed a man, patting his shoulder, not seeming to understand Alfie's sarcasm. "This is very important, especially for such an admired member. Perhaps your mother was of Jewish parentage ?"

She could have replied that she had not really known her mother, and therefore even less her family, but her husband saved her from this discussion, which he considered ridiculous, by inviting her to dance.

A true act of love, for him who hated dancing, in addition to suffering terribly because of his back.

It didn't take long for her entire family tree to be dissected in every way. The old harpies of Camden were like all the harpies of London.

The fact that she couldn't answer their question was almost a good thing. This mystery made it possible to say that if we could not verify that she was Jewish through her mother, we could not verify that she was not either. And everything always went through the mother.

The deplorable past of her father and the Shelby family could then have been forgotten.

The problem was mainly that her mother was not Mr. Arthur Shelby Sr. wife, which made Y/N a bastard. A gypsy bastard at that.

Even when she didn't understand the language, she guessed that people were talking about her. These looks and these laughter, she knew them well. Her brothers had suffered them when they were younger, before they used their fists to silence the ignorant and conquer Birmingham.

But she wasn't in Birmingham. Her brothers were not there, and it was her husband's kingdom.

Alfie wasn't the last to comment on gypsies.

"You know, I expected to have to sleep in a caravan for our honeymoon. It would have been terrible for my back, I don't know if Thomas took pity on us or if his petty posh side is to be thanked."

“They had a tent for us, but Finn threw up in it.”

"Fuck off, love. You're kidding me !"

“Then we would have danced naked around a fire asking the moon to give us happiness, health and above all a lot of fucking money.”

"… Yeah, you're totally kidding me, you little rascal." Alfie said, mock irritated, pulling her in for a kiss.

He didn't seem to notice that every little word spoken against her family and their traditions was beginning to weigh on her.

At least it was never completely mean when it was him. Almost innocent, full of prejudice and stupidity, but not crossing certain limits.

The rest of the community was not so kind. Many had not appreciated that the King of Camden, such a prized party, war hero, respected gangster, charming man, ended up with a girl like her. It must have been business, blackmail, or black magic.

There was no other possible explanation.

For several months, she decided to be the reasonable adult, remaining calm and polite, taking the blows as best she could. Tommy had taught her how to do it.

He had also taught her the pride of gypsies. Honor.

So there came a day when she was walking through the bakery, and some of the employees made a little joke about stealing and fortune telling, laughing like the idiots they were.

Normally, she would have ignored him. But Y/N was exhausted, and Polly's voice repeated in her head that no Shelby would ever allow themselves to be treated like this, so before they had time to react, she grabbed the hair of one of them, placing a knife to his throat.

"Tell me another joke about gypsies. Then I'll tell you a joke about Jews. Then I'll kill you."

The boy squealed, calling to his colleagues for help with his big, frightening eyes, but no one dared to move. Because they knew she would go faster. And even if she wasn't moving fast enough, she was Tommy Shelby's sister and Alfie Solomons' wife. Literally untouchable.

"Come on." she whispered in his ear. "Make me laugh. No ? No more jokes ? You're going to play the victim. It's funny, people who complain about being mistreated, then do exactly the same thing to others while thinking they're superior. You're all the same."

She didn't comment on the puddle under his legs, nor the little cry of panic when she released him.

Everyone stood still, watching her leave, and when she met Ollie's gaze, she knew she had just made a mistake. She only proved that she was indeed the savage they all described, the bad person.

Alfie probably wouldn't be happy when his right hand man told him what happened.

He did indeed seem to be in a terrible mood when she found him waiting for her in the living room, sunk into the sofa, indicating that his back was hurting badly, but that he would refuse to talk about it.

"Come, love, have a sit. Come on, sit down here."

Not wanting to act like a child, she remained silent as she took a seat in the chair he indicated to her.

This was obviously not what he expected, because he didn't speak either, staring at her intensely, hands crossed, displaying a small pout.

“Do you want to tell me what happened at the bakery today ?”

“Why ask if you already know ?”

“I would like your version.”

"I threatened to slit the throat of one of your workers and disrupted production. Do you want to spank me ?"

"Tempting. Why did you want to slit his throat ?"

“Unimportant.”

"Unimportant, uh ? Unimportant, love ? Because Ollie came to tell me that some guys were talking bad about me wife."

Groaning slightly, Alfie stood up just enough to push a piece of paper and pencil in her direction onto the table between them.

"Names."

“Alfie…”

"I want the names, treacle. I've already gone around the bakery telling everyone that insulting me wife and her family was insulting me, and I don't like being insulted. Names."

“You always make fun of gypsies.”

"Wrong." he retorted, holding up a finger as if that proved his point. "I do it when your brothers are around, because Thomas can be a little prick, and it's hilarious to see Arthur react like a mad dog. But I have nothing against gypsies. Lovely people. The proof, look at you. And look at me. The two most wonderful creatures our communities could spawn, right ?"

Despite all her strength, Y/N couldn't help but smile, which seemed to please her husband. He then placed his victorious finger on the paper, insisting on names.

If she had shown mercy by not cutting, this would not be the case with the wandering jew, king of Camden Town.

No one insulted his wife. No one looked at his wife badly, no one criticized her, no one tried to take away from her, no one thought of her with bad thoughts.

“Not even you ?” Y/N asked with a mischievous smile.

"Not at all. Now you brought up spanking. You brought it up first, love, not me."

“My brothers would be furious to hear that you beat me.”

"Don't tempt me, I can spread false rumors all the way to Birmingham just for the thrill of them all running here, and finding us…"

“You’re the one who deserves a spanking.”

"Ungrateful wife. Threatening me, under my own roof, when my back is killing me and I have just condemned half the city for the love of her."

The Shelbys never knew about their sister's difficult first months in Camden. Tommy noticed that he seemed to be treated with a little more respect when he walked the streets, but neither Y/N nor Alfie talked about what had happened before this outpouring of acceptance from the community.

On the other hand, Arthur noticed marks on his little sister's neck, and he tried to strangle Alfie, even after realizing that it wasn't what he thought, because it wasn't really better for him.

And Solomons reminding him that he was his brother-in-law didn't help at all.

[uvobreakmylegs]

Last Day Out

sorry for my inactivity here’s a Chrollo fic for your troubles

Warnings: death, kidnapping

Word count: 6.9k

The dark, clouded skies overhead threatened to burst open with rain at any moment, much to your disappointment. You were hoping that the weather would be good when you went out with him today. A nice day with lots of sun but wasn't too hot – that was what you'd been counting on. Days like that made it hard for you to feel sad, and you hoped it would be the same for him.

But despite a decent temperature, the clouds loomed overhead and blocked out the sun completely. That only left you feeling nervous.

What made that feeling worse was the fact that there weren't a lot of people here, the threat of rain was compelling most to stay at home. Not an unreasonable stance to take, but it was bad timing for you. A busier atmosphere in the cafe would have made you feel a bit more at ease, but when the only other company you had were the two waitresses who were currently wiping down empty tables and an elderly couple taking their time with their lunch, it was hard to feel like you had any safety in numbers.

Then again, the cafe could've been filled to the brim with patrons and you likely would've still had the same problem. Because no matter how many people were around you, it wasn't like that changed anything when you were sitting across from your boyfriend and trying to build up the nerve to tell him something that he wouldn't be happy to hear.

With the way things were outside of the cafe and how nervous you felt, you almost wanted to cancel your date entirely and move it to a different day, but you'd forced yourself to go through with it, knowing full well that if you dragged this out any longer, it would only get worse for you.

You needed to break up with Chrollo.

But you needed to do it in a way that didn't end in him being angry with you.

That couldn't be too hard, right? In the time that you'd known him, Chrollo had never exhibited any truly worrying behaviors towards you. The two of you had some disagreements, but he had never gotten full-on angry or even raised his voice with you. And while ending a relationship was much more significant than the minor disputes you'd had over unimportant things, you wanted to believe that he would take it well.

He needed to care at least a little about you, right? So he wouldn't take it badly and lash out in the worst way possible, right?

You had no idea, but you told yourself that he would respect you enough to accept your decision, even if it might hurt him to do so.

He was capable of giving you that much courtesy, right?

“You've been very quiet today.”

The sound of his voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and then you were back, sitting in the booth of the brightly-lit cafe that was greatly contrasted against the dark hues present outside, with your mostly finished meal sitting on a plate in front of you while the older couple a few tables away spoke quietly to one another and one of the waitresses had disappeared to an area in the back.

Back to Chrollo, sitting across from you with a look on his face that you couldn't quite read.

You got the sense that he was studying you.

You gave him a soft smile as you said “I guess the state of things outside has me feeling a bit down.”

He nodded as if he understood, then said “we didn't need to go out today if you weren't up for it.”

“No, I wanted to go out. And besides, sometimes it's better if you make yourself do something even if you aren't feeling up to it.”

Immediately after saying that, you realized how bad that sounded, and you stumbled over yourself as you added “sorry, that came out wrong. I didn't mean to make it sound like going out with you was a chore.”

He smiled at that.

“I assumed that was the case, but I appreciate you clarifying.”

Chrollo took a sip of his water before saying “and while it's a nice sentiment, it's also always fine to cancel if you aren't feeling well.”

“It's not really a matter of not feeling well,” you answered, “just one of those days, you know?”

“I see.”

The meal was coming to a close, and soon one of the waitresses would be over to take your plates. Which meant the time that you needed to say those words you dreaded was coming up.

I think we should break up

Just thinking them made a lump form in your throat, and in that moment you really wished it was safe enough for you to break up by text. It would've felt scummy to do it that way but you wouldn't have needed to deal with this. Although breaking up through text wasn't taken well even by the most well-mannered people, and you desperately didn't want him to be angry with you.

You just couldn't see him the same way anymore.

Not after watching that video.

The waitress, the one with braided hair who'd been wiping down the tables earlier, approached your table and asked if she could take your plates. Chrollo responded for you, smiling as he gave her a polite confirmation.

Okay, you thought to yourself. As soon as she left, you would say it. Maybe begin by saying you had something important to talk about.

“Was there anything else I can get for you?” the waitress asked, “or did you want the check?”

You were about to ask for the check when Chrollo responded for you again.

“I wouldn't mind having a look at the dessert menu,” he answered. Then he looked to you as he asked “does that sound good to you?”

“Uh, sure.”

The waitress was happy to comply, and with the cafe being next to empty she brought the menus over to you quickly. Chrollo didn't take long to figure out what he wanted, and he and the waitress chatted a bit while you came to a decision.

You glanced over at him a few times, noting how comfortable and relaxed he appeared to be as he engaged in polite conversation.

He still had a knife, you realized. It sat next to where his plate had been, having gone unused during the meal. A bad thought came to mind then. Of how open the waitress' neck was and how easy it would be for him to grab that knife and then-

Stop it. Just order something and then get this over with.

The waitress went to the back soon after to get a parfait for you and a tiramisu for Chrollo, which left you alone with him again.

It'd be awkward to tell him now that you wanted to leave him, wouldn't it? So you'd need to wait until after you'd gotten your desserts to say it. You let out a soft sigh without thinking, after which you found yourself hoping that he hadn't noticed.

“I know it isn't much,” Chrollo said, bringing your attention back to him, “but I thought that perhaps something sweet might lift your spirits a little.”

“Thank you,” you replied, then added “sorry if I've been ruining things for you today, though.”

“Nonsense,” he replied, “no matter what mood you're in, I'm happiest when I'm with you.”

As he said that, he reached one of his hands over the table and held it out, and after a moment, you copied him, placing your hand into his and allowing him to squeeze it softly.

There was an odd flutter in your heart upon feeling his touch. And when you looked back to him and found the soft smile on his face as he stared at you lovingly, you remembered the day you met him and why you'd fallen for him.

The area where the two of you met was close to the cafe; you'd been walking on the sidewalk when someone had shoved into you from behind unexpectedly and you were sent crashing onto the pavement. Your hands and knees had taken the brunt of the fall, and were subsequently scraped up to the point of bleeding.

When you looked up from your bleeding palms to see if whoever had pushed you had the decency to stay and check if you were alright, you didn't find anyone, and you couldn't catch sight of anyone who looked as if they were fleeing the scene.

The situation was made worse when you saw that of all the others on the sidewalk were actively ignoring you. They wouldn't look at you, and for the ones that found you in the middle of their path, they would walk around you and go on their way.

That had been a depressing moment: you were clearly in need of at least some assistance and no one around you felt inclined to even acknowledge what had just happened.

That was when he showed up.

Chrollo seemed to appear out of nowhere and offered a hand to help you back up to your feet. He kept a firm but gentle grip on you as he looked over where your injuries were worst before he asked if you would let him help you.

Still in slight shock over the situation and being unable to properly use your words, you nodded.

Twenty minutes after that you sitting on a bench in a park while Chrollo applied the disinfectant he'd gotten at a nearby convenience store to your wounds before placing the bandages.

By that point you were feeling better, even after dealing with the painful sting of the disinfectant and the ache in your arms and legs. You wanted to repay the man who had been the only one to care about what happened to you. While he'd refused reimbursement for what he'd spent on disinfectant and bandages, he agreed when you proposed that you pay him back by getting him something to eat.

Ten minutes after that the two were sitting at a table at that same cafe, chatting over the desserts you'd be paying for. You remembered how grateful you felt. If not for him stopping to help you, your entire day would've likely ended on a sour note with you patching yourself up on your own and trying to distract yourself by watching a comfort film. Instead you were out at a cafe with a handsome man who had proven himself to be extremely kind and generous, and when he'd asked you to give him your number so he could keep in contact with you, you were more than happy to do so.

It didn't take long after that for Chrollo to become your boyfriend.

Evidently the way you met was also on Chrollo's mind, as he then said “We've come here a lot, haven't we? Ever since our first date that night.”

“Wasn't so much of a date as it was me trying to get over what happened after I got knocked down,” you mumbled.

He smiled as he said “I thought it was in repayment for my helping you.”

“Well, yeah,” you began, “you were really nice to me, and I wanted to do something nice for you back.”

“And I'm glad you did. We might not be here right now if not for that.”

“Yeah....”

The way you trailed off was a mistake, as you watched Chrollo's eyebrows furrow in concern. You tried to wave away his concerns before he could voice them, however, saying “sorry, just feeling tired.”

It didn't seem like you had been too successful, as he was serious when he spoke again.

“You should get some rest when you get home, then.”

You nodded while saying “I will.”

Just then the waitress from earlier approached the table with your orders, setting them down as she told you to enjoy. You both thanked her, and she walked off while you focused on the dessert in front of you. Despite hoping that Chrollo would be right and that you'd feel a bit better, the dessert didn't do much to ease your nerves. And what began to disturb you was the fact that every time you glanced up at Chrollo, he would glance up immediately after and catch your gaze. You tried to play it off by smiling at him, but you felt the muscles in your cheeks becoming more and more strained.

He wasn't stupid. He'd caught onto the fact that there was something wrong with you. Lying about it would only make it worse when you eventually told him.

Chrollo wasn't stupid, but you sure felt like it in that moment.

Not long after the waitress brought the bill out to you, placing it on the table while telling you to take your time. When she was out of earshot, he spoke.

“Is it really just the weather that's bothering you, love?”

You looked up at him and found that you couldn't read his expression again.

“This entire time you've looked as though you've been wanting to say something to me,” he continued.

…. Best to say it now, you supposed.

Placing the half-eaten parfait to the side, you took in a few breaths to try and compose yourself.

“Yeah, you're right,” you began, “there is something I need to talk about.”

He didn't reply, evidently waiting for you to speak.

You quickly glanced up at him again and just as quickly glanced at your folded hands on the table.

Just say it. Just say it and get it over with.

I think we should break up

I think we should break up

“I think we should break up.”

When the words finally left your lips, they were a bit more hushed than you'd intended, perhaps partially out of fear of saying them too loud and drawing unwanted attention to yourselves, and perhaps also because of how much saying them out loud scared you. You had no idea how he was going to react to that, and that uncertainty kept your gaze focused on your hands, too scared of what you might see if you looked back to him.

There was no reaction from him at first, and part of you wondered at first if he hadn't heard you. Yet the longer the moments passed with nothing being said and the more you felt his gaze boring into you, the more you felt certain that he had, in fact heard you. Perhaps he was taking the time to process it.

You still didn't want to look at him.

He didn't say anything at first, and for a moment all you heard was the chatter coming from the other patrons of the cafe. It sounded like the elderly couple were leaving as you heard the other waitress wish them a good rest of their day. The bell above the entrance rang out as the door was opened, and rang once more as it was shut.

Now all you heard was the waitress as she cleared up the table the couple had been sitting at and a distant rumbling of thunder from the outside.

You stayed quiet, figuring that the ball was in his court.

The first sign of a reaction from him came when he slid his plate to the side before resting his forearms on the table. From the edges of your vision, you saw the way he clasped his hands together. He was taking what you said seriously.

Then he spoke.

“I did get the sense that you wanted to discuss something important with me,” he began, “although I must admit that this wasn't what I was expecting.”

“I thought things were going well between us,” he added, “but there must be something wrong if you were unhappy with me and I failed to notice it.”

“I'm not unhappy with you,” you replied.

“Then why would you want to leave me?”

Just make it out like you're the one who's the problem, you told yourself again. Don't let him catch onto the fact that you know anything about what he's done.

“You didn't do anything wrong,” you said, “you've been wonderful, actually, and I've really loved the time we've spent together.”

“But I don't think that I'm really in the right place mentally to be in a relationship,” you continued, “I've got a lot to do with work and other obligations, and I really need to take some time to do some self-reflecting.”

“Self-reflecting on what?” he asked.

“General issues,” you answered.

Fuck. That felt like such a weak answer. Say something else.

“I'm also just not good enough for you.”

There was a pause before he repeated “not good enough?”

You nodded.

“In what way?”

You cleared your throat before saying “financially speaking, we aren't very well matched.”

“Why does that matter?”

“Because I don't want to leech off of you,” you said.

“You've never done that.”

“I feel like I have sometimes.”

He didn't immediately respond, but you got the sense that he wasn't satisfied with that line of reasoning. You needed to say something else.

“Plus, I'm really not smart at all when compared to you,” you added, “I don't always understand the things you talk about, and make you clarify yourself a lot just so I can get it. You shouldn't need to dumb yourself down for my sake.”

“When has that happened?”

“Just.... Every now and then, you know?”

“I don't.”

…. You didn't know what to say to that. It was becoming obvious that drawing this out was only exposing what little reason you actually had to be leaving him as your answers were becoming more ridiculous. And you still couldn't bring yourself to look at him, too worried that if you saw the way he was looking over you, you would crack.

Just keep blaming yourself and tell him that he can do better than you.

It wasn't like that part was a lie

Ignoring that bit of self-loathing that came up to the surface, you told yourself to press on. Find something that would be an acceptable reason for him.

Before you could do that, he spoke again.

“If it's simply insecurities of yours that are the only reasons you have, then those are things that can be worked on, and I would be happy to help you get through those issues. I don't see why we need to end everything when there's a much happier solution,” he said.

“You shouldn't need to deal with my issues, though,” you replied.

“Why not?”

“You deserve better than that. You'd be better matched with someone who isn't so much of a mess.”

“And like I said,” you continued, “I really need to work on myself on my own, and I don't want to drag you with me through that process. Or make you wait for me.”

“So you're telling me to move on?” he asked.

“I'm not telling you to do anything. I'm just saying you're wasting your time with someone like me.”

“You need to stop saying that, love. Being with you isn't a waste of time.”

His voice had a stern edge to it when he said that. As if you were beginning to upset him.

“Sorry,” you began, “and that's really sweet, but I think it's for the best if we go our separate ways.”

“And if I disagree?”

“..... I'm sorry, Chrollo. But I've made up my mind,” you told him, “I don't want to hurt you, but you can't force me to stay with you, just like I can't force you to stay with me.”

You reached to the side to grab your bag and fish out your wallet, saying “lunch is on me. It's the least I can do.”

He didn't say anything. And after you placed the jenny on the table to pay for the meal, you didn't say anything either.

You're almost out of this, you told yourself. Just get your things together and leave.

You were putting your wallet back in your bag when he spoke again.

“Is there a reason why you won't look at me?”

His question made you pause.

It made sense that he would ask, though. Since telling him that you wanted to break up, you hadn't looked at him once, instead keeping your gaze on either your hands or what was left of your parfait.

A normal person who wanted to break up wouldn't be so adamant on not looking at their now ex-boyfriend, would they? Not unless they were mad about something. And since your reasons had all been to do with how you were a mess and not good enough for him, it would be strange to keep that up, especially if your goal was to leave him without making him upset with you.

Look at him, apologize, and then leave.

And whatever images pop up in your mind when you see his face again, be sure to ignore them.

Taking a small breath that you hoped he didn't notice, you looked over to him.

There was an unhappy expression on his face, his lips set in a frown while his eyebrows were wrinkled over his eyes, conveying the feeling that he was sad and didn't understand your reasoning for leaving him.

You might've believed that was what he actually felt if it wasn't for the way his eyes studied you in that moment, watching your facial expressions closely to pinpoint something that would give away that what you were saying wasn't true, if there was something more that you were attempting to hide from him.

There had always been a certain intensity to his gaze, even from before when you felt good about the two of you being together. In the beginning it had made you nervous, the way it felt he could look right through you, but you had gotten used to it, chalking it up to Chrollo giving you his full attention.

You saw something different now when he looked at you.

You turned your head away, mumbled out one last “I'm sorry” and then placed your hand on the table as you prepared to leave.

“Just answer me one last question before you go, love,” said Chrollo.

“.... Okay.”

Almost there. Just answer his question and then you could leave.

“Are you sure you're leaving me because you feel that you're inadequate?”

He paused.

“Or is it because you found out about the Phantom Troupe?”

…..

Hearing him say those two words made you freeze. You didn't know how long exactly, but you stayed in your seat for a few seconds, staring at the floor of the cafe while your mind processed his words. He knew that you knew.

He knew that you knew.

Get out.

Now

With one hand on the table and another on the back of the seat, you were about to push yourself up-

He stopped you from standing as his hand clamped onto your forearm, keeping you where you were with a firm grip that refused to let go.

“You aren't leaving, love,” Chrollo whispered, “not yet.”

“Let go of me,” you replied.

You tried to pull your arm away, but his grip stayed strong.

“Stay seated and talk to me,” he said, “if you make too much of a scene, you might attract attention. That's what you've been trying to avoid, isn't it?”

Upon hearing that, you looked about the cafe. Neither of the waitresses could be seen, which must've meant that they were in the back. But they could come out at any moment, and if they did notice something wrong going on between the two of you, you feared they might involve themselves.

The thoughts you'd had regarding the waitress and the knife from earlier came back to mind, and you shuddered.

You wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you caused Chrollo to do something to them.

“.... Okay,” you said, “okay. We can talk. But could you let go of me?”

“No.”

“I won't try to run again, I promise.”

“I wish I could believe you, love,” said Chrollo, “but unfortunately, you aren't proving to be very trustworthy at the moment.”

“Chrollo,” you began, trying to pull your arm away again and still getting nowhere with it, “Chrollo, you're hurting me.”

“It only hurts because of how hard you're struggling. Stop trying to pull away and the pain will stop,” he answered calmly.

“I want you to let go of me,” you said.

He didn't respond to that, and after a few more unsuccessful attempts to get your arm away from his grip, you felt yourself becoming desperate.

“Chrollo, please-”

Upon hearing that, he shook his head.

“Being polite about it isn't going to help you much right now,” he said, “if you really wanted to prove that you'd cooperate, you would stop struggling.”

… He was right that struggling like this was pointless, you realized. And as much as you didn't want him touching you, doing what he wanted was more likely to lead to a solution where you didn't end up dead. Tell him that you had no intentions of going to the police and that you wanted to forget everything.

You stopped trying to tear your arm away and instead sat quietly. Maybe the show of submission would have him let go of you.

Instead of that, his hand slid down from your forearm and grasped at your wrist. That looked less strange, probably. Like he was holding you affectionately instead of keeping you from leaving.

He got straight to the point, asking “how did you find out?”

“... Does it really matter?” you asked back.

He hummed.

“I assume someone told you, then,” he said.

“I didn't say that.”

“No, but it felt as though you were trying to protect someone,” he replied. Then after a moment he added “and it seems I was correct since you became even more tense when I said that.”

….. You hated how easily he was able to figure it out. And you hated how easily you had given up that information, even if it was unwittingly.

“Who was it?” asked Chrollo.

You shook your head. That was something you wouldn't be telling him. And when that became clear to him, he shrugged.

“The answer to that can come at another time,” he said, “though I have to assume it was someone important to you if it was that easy for you to believe them and not even ask me for my side.”

“.... I saw a video of you,” you whispered.

His eyebrows raised slightly.

“And what sort of video was that?”

“One where you sliced a man's neck open.”

He didn't seem to be phased by what you had said. He didn't push you any further on that, and merely hummed to himself again as he finally understood why all of this had happened.

Someone had shown you proof of his true nature.

Chrollo didn't push you any further on what you'd seen; it didn't seem to interest him.

But you remembered it clearly, sitting on the couch in your apartment, holding the phone that your friend had handed to you after calling you up and telling you that they needed to show you something important. They were standing over you, watching your reactions as you looked at the footage on their phone that they'd managed to get a hold of. It had come from a contact of theirs, they told you, but they wouldn't elaborate further.

You couldn't believe what you were seeing; Chrollo, who had always been so kind and caring towards you, approached what appeared to be a security guard in a hall who was distracted by his phone.

Then he had crept up behind the guard and sliced his throat with a curved blade.

And as he let go of the guard and watched as he fell to the floor, the camera that had been mounted on the side of the hall was close enough that you were able to see Chrollo's expression clearly, and it was best described as being disinterested. What he had just done was of no consequence to him.

But the truth was that the murder wasn't the worst part of the video.

It was what came after.

That neutral expression changed when you heard a voice come from off-camera, a cheerful voice that called out to Chrollo and caught his attention. Whoever had spoken didn't appear in the video, but you heard them as they made a joke about the dead guard, something in regards to him having his phone out on the job. What it was that had been said exactly you couldn't remember. But you did remember Chrollo's reaction to it.

He smiled as he let out a short laugh. It was a sight you'd seen before during the times that you'd amused him and was usually followed up by an affectionate pat to the head. Something you had grown fond of.

Now you saw that same smile at a murder scene.

Chrollo had just killed a man, and he was laughing about it.

Your world came crashing down and you could barely hear your friend telling you the details of what they called the Phantom Troupe and the things they had done as you were too focused on the fact that for the past eight months you'd been dating a murderer. Someone that didn't bat an eye at killing innocent people, and you'd been getting to the point where you were fantasizing about the possibility of living the rest of your life with him.

And that image of him in the video stayed in your head.

It would've been easier to deal with if he'd remained emotionless the whole time. That way you could've rationalized it in a different way; that everything you'd experienced with him was all a lie, any reaction you'd gotten out of him wasn't genuine and that he wasn't a person who felt anything, that he just used a facade to act like a normal person and all you were to him was a way to build upon that lie. That he'd picked you because he rightly assumed that it'd be easy to entrance you with the mask he wore so you would play the role he wanted.

What you had seen when he laughed was a genuine reaction. No matter what you tried to tell yourself, he had no reason to fake an emotion like that when he was around someone who was a participant in his crimes.

As quiet and reserved as Chrollo was, it wasn't as though he didn't have emotions. They were somewhat muted at times, but they were there.

And he had laughed at what his friend had said while a man lay dead or dying at his feet.

It was made worse when you thought of the happy moments that you had spent together. And even worse still was that moment from earlier, when he'd grabbed your hand and smiled at you and caused your heart to flutter.

How was Chrollo able to commit something as horrendous as murder and still be able to love you so freely? Even now, when he was literally holding you down so you couldn't get away from him, his thumb began to rub circles against your skin as if to calm you, and somehow it didn't feel like it was an act.

How could he do that?

“No wonder you've been so nervous today,” he said, “you must be terrified of me.”

Seeing no reason to lie, you nodded.

At that, he pulled your hand up from the table and brought it up to his mouth so he could place a soft kiss upon your clenched fingers.

It was a weird mixture of emotions again. Despite knowing that he was a murderer, you found that your mind was going back to happier times that you'd spent with him. Like the time you'd had a bad day at work and he showed up at your apartment after to cheer you up by making you dinner, or the time you'd happened to find a rare book at a pawn shop that you had heard him talking about and surprised him with it. Things that had you feeling like you were growing closer to each other.

You weren't lying when you'd said that you loved the time you'd spent together.

But you couldn't bring yourself to stay with a murderer.

“I was told that you – you've killed a lot of people,” you began, “I don't understand why you would do that when you've always been so good to me. I wouldn't have believed it if I wasn't shown proof.”

Chrollo was still holding your hand, but when no response came from him, you continued.

“I don't want to cause you any trouble,” you said to him, “I don't have any plans to talk to the police or anything – I don't even have the video, so it's not like I'd have proof even if I did go to them. It'd be my word against yours, and I'm pretty sure they'd believe you over me. So it'd be for the best if we both forgot about each oth-”

His grip on your wrist became tight enough that it hurt, and you were cut off as you let out a small squeak of pain.

The instant you made that noise his grip lessened, and he went back to caressing your skin. There was no acknowledgment of what just happened, however, as he appeared to be deep in thought.

Outside the weather finally broke and small droplets of rain were starting to come down against the windows of the cafe. It wasn't too bad now, but it seemed likely that the storm would become worse before long.

When the waitress returned to the table for the payment you had hastily left out for her, she didn't notice anything amiss with you. Likely because Chrollo distracted her by engaging in more conversation.

She returned to the back not long after, and then he spoke again.

“You've been rather cruel today, love.”

“.... Cruel?” you asked.

“Bringing me to this place with the intention of dumping me despite the times we spent with each other here,” Chrollo explained, “as if you wanted to ruin the memories that came from here.”

“That – it wasn't – I wasn't trying to do that,” you stuttered, “I just thought.... Maybe things would be okay if we spent one last nice day together and ended everything on a happy note.”

He wasted no time in responding to that.

“Are you saying that because you genuinely wanted me to be happy, or were you trying to ensure that I wouldn't retaliate against you after?”

…..

There was no doubt that your expression upon hearing that question told him everything. That, coupled with how clammy your hand felt while still being gripped by his gave him every answer he needed:

You were just trying to save your own skin.

After a few more moments of silence, Chrollo spoke.

“I think it's time we were leaving, love.”

With that, he finally let go, standing after exiting the booth before immediately holding his hand out to you once again. And as you once again had very little choice in what to do, you took it, allowing him to help you to your feet.

You left the cafe with your hand in his, the bell above the door ringing above you as you ventured out into the rain. Chrollo turned to the right upon exiting the building and began to lead you over to where he had parked his car.

So he was going to drive off with you, and then......

“.... What happens now?” you asked, “what are you going to do to me?”

“Keep an eye on you, for the most part,” Chrollo answered, “suffice it to say you won't be going out anytime soon.”

“What.... What do you mean?”

“Don't start believing your own lies, love,” he said, “ you know exactly what I mean.”

“But.... What about my job? They'll notice if I stop going in for work,” you replied.

“You'll be quitting.”

“So then.... You're going to make me stay with you?”

“It was about time we moved to that stage anyway,” said Chrollo.

“No,” you answered, shaking your head as you said “I can't do that. Please Chrollo, just let me go.”

“I told you earlier, love,” he said as he led you to the car, “changing your tone and being polite isn't going to do much for you.”

“But-”

He interrupted you to ask “you said the video you saw was one where I slit a man's throat?”

While hesitant, you still nodded.

“And you want to argue with me after seeing that?” he continued.

It dawned on you what he was getting at, and your voice was a whisper when you asked “so you really are going to kill me?”

“Of course not, love. You dying has never been an option,” he said.

“But I can't say the same for whoever showed you that video.”

It clicked then.

“I'm – I'm not going to tell you,” you said.

“It doesn't matter much if you won't tell me; I'll find out regardless,” Chrollo answered, “but depending on your actions right now, I might be willing to show mercy on them.”

“..... You mean you won't hurt them?”

He nodded.

“But that all depends on what you do now,” he said, “and whether or not you get into the car willingly or if I need to force you inside.”

With that, he opened the passenger's side door for you and after turning his attention back to you, he finally let go of your wrist. You instinctively held your hand up against your chest, partially from the relief that came when he finally stopped touching you, and partially so he couldn't grab you as easily again. At least, not by your wrist, anyway. Chrollo could easily still grab you by the shoulder and force you into the car, and you were anticipating that would be what happened next.

Except he didn't do anything. And when you looked to him while he still held the car door open, he didn't say anything to you; he only continued to look at you expectantly.

…. Ah. Right. He'd just said it.

You getting in willingly meant you getting in on your own.

Him letting you go like that was probably a test, you noted. If you were going to try and take advantage of the fact that he'd let you go and try to run, or if you really were going to cooperate with him. It'd also tell him how much you really cared about the friend that you wanted to protect.

As much as you found yourself wanting to run, you doubt you'd get far at all if you tried it.

So you climbed into the car just as the rain began to come down harder.

Chrollo shut the door after you.

Moments later he was in the driver's seat, buckling his seat belt before starting up the engine. He then looked over to you, and after a moment he reached over you to grab the seat belt to your side and secure you to the seat as well.

“.... Sorry,” you mumbled.

“You don't need to apologize, love,” he said, “though a 'thank you' would have been sufficient.”

“.... Thank you.”

He didn't respond as the car was pulling out of the space and onto the road. With the turns he took on the next few streets, you could tell that he was taking you back with him to his apartment. Just like he'd said. Where you wouldn't be allowed out for a time. Just like he'd said.

And as for your friend......

…. While you'd done as he'd wanted and got into the car on your own, it had taken you a little bit to actually do that.

Was that enough reason for him to kill them?

You cleared your throat in an effort to make sure the words came out as clear as they could.

“I'm sorry,” you said.

“For what?”

“For being..... Cruel to you,” you answered.

He hummed.

“I don't know how much I believe that, love,” he said, “it seems more likely you're only saying that as a way to try and appease me.”

….. There was no point in arguing, and you hung your head while biting your lip as you wondered if you'd just made a horrible mistake in saying anything else to him.

The car came to a stop at a light, and it was then that you felt his hand grasp yours once again. When he pulled your arm towards him, you didn't resist and allowed him to do what he wanted. Then his lips came into contact with your skin once more before he spoke.

“It's alright, love,” he told you, “we can get through this.”

“And with a little bit of time, I'm sure we can get to the point where you can apologize and actually mean it.”

You looked to him then, your eyes meeting his as he still held your hand to his lips.

And when you made eye contact, Chrollo simply smiled and kissed your hand once more.

[justasecretflower]

🥀Hello, I saw you’re eyeless Jack Dating before he was sacrificed. If you wouldn’t mind could you do Toby Rogers- before He went coo coo for cocoa puffs and Slenderman basically stole him. 😭😂 Please and thank you hope you have a good day. 🤍

I LOVE THIS REQUEST SM🤍

🥀- Dating Ticci Toby! Before he became a proxy!

~fluff, set before the accident:)

I won’t be able to post everyday, sadly. Since I’m starting school I’m also gonna start cooking club, national honour society then tennis:(. But please keep requesting I will not stop posting completely:).

____________________________________________

- you noticed Toby’s golden heart at first, how much he got bullied, everything in his life, yet he remained to have a soft expression.

- At first, he thought you were pranking him when you gave him the note, your cheeks flush. But when he looked at the note and thought it was a prank he didn’t miss the hurt on your face.

________________________________________

Toby’s dark hazel eyes scan the note, some tics jerking his neck and making him restart reading the note. Thinking it’s some sick joke, as if anyone like you would like anyone like him, his eyes narrow and he practically spits at you. “L- Let me guess. T-this was a sick joke w-wasn’t it?” He says seriously, his tics making him stutter a bit but his tone remained hurt, aggravated, and angry, all of the bullying he received callousing his heart and making him firmly believe that no one would even spare him a second glance. Your eyes fill with hurt and your stomach plunges from rejection, a little embarrassed and let down your voice shakes. “No it’s not. I really like you.” Toby softened a bit at your tone but then hardened again “you don’t know me.” You were fed up. Can’t he see you actually like him for him? “But I want to.” Toby’s mouth shuts and he shoves his hands in his pockets of his black hoodie and nods. “I’ll have my sister pick you up so we can go to the movies or something Friday..” he says reluctantly, still a little convinced that you wouldn’t ever like him.

_________________________________________

- his sister, Lyra, was absolutely glowing when you entered the car, sticking her hand out almost immediately and smiling widely, no one had taken her brother out before, not even giving him respect. So she was over the moon.

- you talked with Lyra a bit, and then turned your attention towards Toby, who was looking at you with softest, most affectionate filled earthy green eyes ever. Sparkling gently. It was like he lit up when he finally realised you were serious, not only serious but getting along with his sister.

- during the movie, you tried very very slowly to grab his hand. He immediately tensed and gasped a tiny bit. But only 20 minutes later he reached out, first with his pinky and then his whole, shaky, scarred hand.

- when you intertwined your fingers, Toby was convinced he never felt more happy, he didn’t even watch the rest of the movie, he was focused on you.

-how your features glowed in the dim light, how you smiled during a happy moment, or gently did your [enter your nervous fidget.] when a tense part came up.

____________________________________________

-when he’s tired of everything going on in his house he’ll bike ride or walk over to your house and taps on the window just to hold you.

- he’ll pull your waist in with his arms and bury his face in your shoulder. Gently kissing it sweetly mumbling “my y/n”

-genuinely wants to cry of happy tears whenever you defend him from bullies.

- finger tip kisses.

-while you two are sitting across from each other in somewhere public, or holding each other in the quiet night, he lifts your intertwined hands, frees your hand and gently kisses your fingertips.

-he can’t really buy you any gifts but he certainly makes you tiny doodles on sticky notes to put in your locker or room.

- his eyes got misty when you first told him you loved him.

-you got him a gold heart locket with your picture in it and yourself one with his picture. He never takes it off and kisses it whenever he misses you.

-late night talks on the rooftop, stargazing, after he ran to your house again in the middle of the night.

-You’re his angel; his light, the love of his life. He can’t stop the thoughts of running away with you whenever he looks at your pretty smile or hears your heavenly laugh.

- “My sweet y/n” “my y/n” “Angel”

-your first kiss is when you two were stargazing, the sweetest, most affectionate kiss ever. Putting your foreheads together first, lacing your fingers, then finally meeting for a soft kiss.

-he runs to you if he sees you in the hallways.

-so, in theory…Toby..💪

____________________________________________

Thanks for reading! I love all of your requests btw🤍.

Tags

[hazshit-hotel-hater]

Moxxie Redesign! (2/4)

You didn’t think I forgot about this did you? ‘,:/

I wanted to base Moxxie off of what his name actually implies, having nerve and determination. Ive almost entirely changed his personality in certain ways. He is still an assassin but he takes his job very seriously and struggles with his inner morals because of this. Being berated by Blitz often leads to him pushing aside his concerns with his job and causing internal conflict instead that he typically only ever talks to these issues about Millie. She is trying to get him to consider therapy but he doesn’t want to lose his “sparkle” (he gives in eventually and goes and it goes fine, this would be around season 2 but definitely after episode 6)

Moxxie also doubles as a medic for any potential injuries at I.M.P (this happens often). Moxxie was also born in greed so he has the more aquatic qualities of a greed imp such as the little headlamp, frills, and gills. And for any fish nerds, yes I know only female angler fish have headlamps, thats the point. Viv has literally no main trans characters so I guess I have to do everything myself. Plus I’m tired of the super straight shit that happened a few years back, Millie isn’t any less straight for dating a trans man. I think Moxxie certainly struggles with his masculinity and also takes his job so seriously as a way to prove to himself that he’s meeting some sort of “masculinity criteria” however he’s fully aware of how silly the mindset is (hes working on it). I think som trans imps may definitely paint their horns like Moxxie, but with certain days I really doubt he gives much of a shit considering it probably gets chipped a lot anyway.

Moxxie still hates his upbringing and the greed ring leaves a sour taste in his mouth, however he prefers to use his knowledge and features from greed in his work. For example, preforming minor surgery under his headlight, it’s goofy as hell and I think any show benefits from some extent of stupid silliness like that. It’s also good for distractions!

Moxxie isn’t always super serious like in this art either, he’s still a bit stupid but still respects himself. Tough nut to crack because of his past but is very kind underneath somewhere.

Heres some notes I went off while working!

- glasses (REQUIRED. Give him those stupid little circle spectacles)

- Get rid of the stupid suit

- Maybe some interesting horn stuff?

- Make him look a bit more like his voice, not sure how to describe this

- Write a boyloser properly

- Probably doubles as a medic? I think he’d be interested in medicine with all that errrm akshully energy he has

- Make him actually look like an adult (I tried)

- More of a fishy tail

- Born in wrath but both parents are greed imps so he has those features + moved back when he was like 6 idk

- Or idk maybe imps change the longer theyre in a certain ring? Could be fun

I have a lot more I could talk about with this guy but I’ll save it for some other posts :3

[suni-writings]

Running out of time. | part 3

jude bellingham x fem!reader

When two people who didn’t know how to love met at the perfect timing to ruin each other.

part 1 | part 2

wc: 2.9k

(content warning: angst, troubled relationships, situationship, slight mention of suggestive content, [sort of] unrequited feelings, hurt/comfort)

hope you enjoy this last part as much as i enjoyed writing this little story. don't forget that requests are open!

‘hey :)’

‘gonna keep leaving me on read?’

‘guess I’ll keep your coat with me’

She sighed when she read the texts. Jude was trying to reach out to her every day. Of course, his scene at the bar was more than enough to keep the man she was seeing far away from her. On one hand, it was Jude’s fault. Who would want to be Jude Bellingham’s competition? On the other hand, it was her fault. Her fault because she not only listened to his words, but also obeyed him. One thing Jude got right — it seemed like they weren’t done. Not yet at least.

She thought she was over him; she really did. She had put her life back on tracks — everything she had left on hold because of whatever happened between her and Jude, she went back. To her numerous projects, to her podcast, to writing articles about sports. To her friends, that she seemed to have disappeared a little bit of their lives. To focusing on her upcoming university semester, which, despite the good grades the previous semester, they could be better.

She had liked Jude wholeheartedly, she believed. She could have ended up loving him, if things had kept flowing the way they did when they were alone. She had allowed him to come over to his place, to know her routine, to know her. Told about her life, about her previous relationships, about everything that hurt her. She allowed him into his life with open arms, with him saying he would always be honest with her. Not that he wouldn’t hurt her, but he would be honest.

Hurt was something that came with liking someone; it was inevitable, especially when it came to her. Anxiety always took over her whenever it was about romantic matters, as if searching for any excuse to jump off; to just not be there, to not be vulnerable, to not allow anyone in. To be alone, something she had mastered.

She had trusted Jude, and he broke her trust. It was as simple as that. And now, he was trying to right his wrongs.

And she was confused; she didn’t know exactly how she felt about him. She had spent over a month assuming things about him, ruining the previous image she had of him being someone she could rely on, someone nice, someone that cared about her. It was replaced with thoughts of him being a selfish, almost sadistic person, as if he wanted to see her feeling bad — although she never gave him the delight of knowing how much harm he had caused.

Now, it was hard to identify the person he was being, to the person he was, to the person she assumed he was. The lines seemed blurred, and she didn’t have any evidence to support any feelings besides his ridiculous attempts of making conversation. It truly surprised her that he didn’t attempt to come over, respecting her privacy and her desire to be far away from him.

Perhaps, that said something about him.

Her phone buzzed again, and she rolled her eyes as another text popped up on her screen.

‘texting you before the match’

‘need my lucky charm’

‘can you reply at least once?’

‘can you fuck off?’

‘well, better than nothing’

‘hi, princess’

‘when are you giving me my coat back?’

‘does that mean you want to see me?’

‘no’

‘I’ll return it when you want to see me’

‘I might hate you, you know’

‘nah, you don’t’

The way he could easily get reactions out of her was annoying. She was so used to being logical, to keeping her composure, to being someone who would hardly react to anything at all. And yet, ever since they broke thing off, he could get her snapping in a matter of seconds. She knew Jude liked it — perhaps, it was his way of knowing she still felt something, despite not even her knowing what she felt.

She didn’t want to let him in once again, since she didn’t have the assurance that she wouldn’t be wrecked again. And being his friend was out of the picture – she couldn’t even think about the hypothesis. Jude knew her body with the back of his hand and the tip of his tongue. Not to mention how hurtful it would be if he ended up treating her better than he did when they were together.

She couldn’t afford to be hurt again.

So, she just decided to postpone whatever conversation they could have and slowly digest her feelings about what happened, about what was happening and about how they were. Associating the past to the present before deciding.

It was a quiet night; she didn’t like nights like those because it gave too much room for her thoughts. She tried distracting herself by reading, trying to watch something and even cooking — only to watch her fail every single one of her attempts. Jude was constantly on her mind, especially now that he had stopped texting her for a week.

Maybe he had given up.

Maybe he had found someone else.

Maybe he realized how famous he is and how he doesn’t need you at all.

Every single thought of hers, when it came to him, seemed too hurtful. She didn’t even know why she was so pressed that he wasn’t texting anymore when she had only been leaving him on read. Did she care? Was it bruised ego, or did she actually have some hope? She didn’t have an answer for any of her questions.

When she heard a knock on her door, she didn’t realize how late it was or how, in no way, it could be one of her friends deciding to bother her because she hadn’t been replying. That happened whenever she was too contemplative, and they were used to that. She just automatically opened the door and her eyebrows raised at the sight.

Jude was standing there, with a grey sweater and matching sweatpants, and a black beanie on. She was taken aback, suddenly remembering how comfortable he used to dress whenever he would come over, because he felt comfortable with her.

“You’re drunk.” It wasn’t a question, but more of a statement. She was sure she could tell if Jude was drunk or not from a mile away — he would always have a huge grin on his face, his eyes would become smaller, and he would always tilt his head whenever someone would speak to him. And, of course, the fact that he wouldn’t be standing there if it wasn’t for the alcohol.

“I scored the last match, the one I texted you before,” he said, his voice slightly dragged. He was drunk, but not that much. Good to know. “Did you watch it?”

She furrowed her eyebrows, leaning her head on her doorframe.

“I didn’t,” she confessed. Why did she feel bad about that?

“You didn’t,” he echoed and licked his lips. “I scored.”

“I know,” she replied. Every time he scored ended up all over the internet. There was way she wouldn’t know.

“For you, I mean. I blew a kiss to the camera, but I know you wouldn’t see it. Not when you didn’t even want to reply to me.”

Guilt washed all over her, even if she knew Jude didn’t blame her at all. He knew he was just dealing with the consequences of his actions, but that didn’t stop him from trying. Then again, what would ever stop Bellingham from trying anything? He was used to falling and getting up. To losing and keeping his head up.

Maybe that’s what he meant when he said he’d show me what’s in store if I wanted war, she thought. He knew he had lost the battle, but not the war.

The cold breeze blowing on her face brought her back to reality, and she realized she couldn’t leave him on her doorstep. She could, actually, but it wouldn’t be right of her. Not when he was drunk, vulnerable and something could happen. She’d rather have him inside her house than to let him wander the streets in that state, given who he was.

“Jesus, Jude,” she sighed, shaking her head and signaling him to come in, which he happily obliged. He stumbled until he managed to find his way to her couch. “Are you cold?”

“Not at all,” he shook his head and she nodded. “But could you just— sit next to me? Please.”

Truth be told, she never had to deny him much stuff. But she had learned that, even the little things she had to deny seemed hard to say no. And she found herself once again, in the same situation. She knew she could get hurt.

And yet.

Maybe there was a reason why she couldn’t deny him that. A reason why her feet were making their way to him, despite her heart pounding in anxiety and fear. Maybe, just maybe, there was a reason why she was choosing to walk to him instead of succumbing to her fears and shutting him off.

As she sat next to him, she noticed the way he looked at her; even drunk, it seemed like he was analyzing and memorizing every detail, every freckle, every single portion of her face. As if he didn’t know when it would happen again.

How wrecking must it be to adore someone and not being able to see them; to yearn in silence. To accept the fate and not try to change it. To accept any crumble that could come to you, because it would be better than nothing. Because even hurt would be better than indifference.

Amongst many things she had learned about Jude, she knew he didn’t accept fate. He didn’t believe in it. He believed he had control over his choices and everything that happened after that were nothing but consequences, which he could also change the course of. It hurt seeing someone who was always so self-assured suddenly show such an insecurity.

However, that was something she would’ve never noticed if she didn’t know him that much.

“I like you,” Jude said, still looking at her. For once, it didn’t seem blurted out — no, it seemed like something he had been thinking about for a long time. Nothing like the other times she heard that, no spontaneity in his voice. “So much. Hence why I tried so hard to at least get you to talk to me. It’s not about not being able to live without you, it’s about knowing my life could be so much better with you in it. Although, I must admit, I don’t do a pretty good job living without you.”

She stood quiet, suddenly catching herself also analyzing his features. He was still as beautiful as she remembered, unfortunately.

“I hurt you, I get it. I do. I broke your trust and, apparently, I can’t win it back. I’m in a losing battle every time I even think of texting you,” Jude let out a sad chuckle, his hand caressing her cheek softly, as if she could disappear at any moment. “I like that about you. Your judgment of knowing what serves you and what doesn’t. You said you weren’t the love of my life, but God, you could be. I’ve felt like I was too young to say that out loud, but it’s hard to not have thee thoughts when I’m miserable without you around.”

There was so much she wanted to say; like everything he said could just be a result of his wounded ego, or that she only served to caress his ego. Like it didn’t make any sense to her him even considering her the love of his life after how things had played out between them. But above all, she wanted to say how much her judgment was broken, because, at that moment, she didn’t know if she was doing what served her or not.

But, instead, she just leaned her cheek against his hand and gently shook her head.

“You’re drunk, Jude,” she whispered. “You have no idea of what you’re saying.”

“I’m not that drunk. Just enough to gather courage to come up to your house and overstepping a boundary. I know I overstepped on a lot of your boundaries that day at the nightclub, but I was also aware of how much it hurt you. I wouldn’t even think of not leaving you alone if I didn’t drink, and I really need to pour out my heart to you. If this must be my last attempt, then so it be. But just listen to me, please.” He begged her. It broke her heart to see that, in the end, he was just as wounded as she was.

They had met each other at the perfect timing to ruin each other; when neither of them wanted anything serious, when neither of them could commit to one another. When both of them were so bruised by past relationships that it’d blind the present and destroy what they were building. At least, that was how she saw it. She knew she had barely let herself enjoy it, always waiting to be hurt, always wanting to predict so she could leave before.

What a pathetic, yearning mess they had become.

“Okay,” she nodded slowly as his thumb ran through her cheek. “I’ll listen.”

He took a deep breath and stared into her eyes, admiring their shade and getting lost for a moment.

“My mum always told me that what was meant to be mine, would be mine. Close to the ‘what’s bound to happen, will happen’ kind of discourse, but not quite. The same way she always told me that what goes around always finds its way back around,” he tilted his head and sighed. “I know I’m paying for what I did; I don’t blame you for acting the way you have been or for trying to get over me because I’d do the same. I’d get over you if I could. But my mind just assumes that you’re meant to be mine. That, if I work hard enough, if I show my efforts, if I keep falling and getting up, at some point you’ll see that too. But it’s not football, you’re not a prize and I’m not really taking what you feel into consideration when I think that way.”

His hand traveled from her cheek to her hair, gently caressing it.

“The truth is, I can’t get over you. And I’ve been trying to right my wrongs, but at the end of the day, it’s all up to you. Despite of what I do and what I don’t, it’s your call. I’ve been at your mercy for so long and I don’t even think you’ve realized that,” he spoke, his voice shaking. She had never seen him so vulnerable. “I’d do anything to have you with me once again. I never took you for granted, though I know it seemed that way. I knew what I had; I knew I wouldn’t find better. You had warned me. I adored you then, but I let everything get in the way, my job, my past, my insecurities and I ended up wounding you. I made some decisions I regret, I acted selfish, but I swear to God, I still adore you. Even more than I did back then. It’s so much more than liking and I’m tired of pretending like it isn’t. Of acting nonchalant about it. If you’d ask me to commit here and now, I would. I would promise I’d never break your trust again if you’d let me in.”

He looked into her eyes once again.

“I’m at your fucking mercy,” he whispered. “And, looking back, I don’t think there ever was a moment I wasn’t.”

Jude’s words flooded her senses. As she tried to digest, she realized she knew the answer to this all along. She knew the answer when she suggested a break to be considerate about his feelings; she knew the answer when he had walked up to her while she was with someone else, and she didn’t ignore him. She knew the answer when she obeyed his only request. But especially, she knew the answer from the moment she had chosen to sit next to him instead of making him leave; the moment she chose a maybe instead of a certainty and let him stay.

In a loss for words, she suddenly held him tight. Dumbfounded, it took a while for him to wrap his arms around her; however, when he did, his head fell to the crook of her neck, and he inhaled her scent he had missed so much as she kissed the top of his head. The yearning and the waiting were so much that she didn’t even realize what she was missing until he held him again, a single tear falling down her face.

“Jude?” She asked quietly.

“Yeah?” Jude replied, leaning away just enough to look at her face and wipe the tear with a concerned glance.

“Do you think you can repeat all of that to me tomorrow, when you’re sober?” She asked and his face lit up.

“Tomorrow. The next day. The day after. Whenever you want me to say it.” He replied with a huge, genuine smile as his arms were still wrapped around her waist. She knew she would be fine. She knew they would be fine.

For once, she chose her peace instead of battling wars inside her head. For once, she chose her emotions against her logic. For once, she was willing to not run away.

“I’m not letting you go again.”

[janovavalen]

✧THINK NONE OF HER || percy jackson x fem!reader

part one!

part two!

part three!

part four!

part five!

summary: percy jackson’s first days on camp were hell to say the least—fist day and he got bullied, but when he sneaks away to be alone he finds an interesting girl in the forest.

word count: 3216

warnings: small curses (literally like one word and it’s not really a curse but it’s considered one) reader is daughter of athena, sister of annabeth, horrid flirting, reader lowkey not felling percy for the first half’s of this story line.

early morning percy laid down in a bed with his head cuddled into the pillow comforter and the blanket stuffed and twisted around his body to collect warmth and comfort from the slightly cold wooden cabin he recently moved into.

seeing small flashes of the night his mother was taken from his sight and out of his life for the first time—he jumped up with the faint song of the rawr from the monster that took her. his eyebrows frowned slightly while his wide worried blue eyes blinked to adjust to the darkness around him.

the small reflections of the water ripples providing him enough light to adjust to. sighing as he felt the sweat cling to his forehead and back he exhaled deeply before placing his hands on his face to sigh into them.

once he placed his hands down he looked to the side as he saw it was still the middle of the night, the only light outside being the small fires that were set at the entrances of each cabin. everyone in their own respective houses, sleep and resting—except for percy of course, why not.

seeing he obviously couldn’t sleep at the moment from the nightmare he just had he decided to try and take a small walk—without getting caught that is. if he were, he’d be in trouble by luke or another camp member. even if it weren’t them, someone would probably snitch.

sighing as he stood up from his bed and made his way over to his black and white converse shoes, he slipped them on before throwing on a jacket and zipping it up to protect him from the breezy air outside.

once he made it out, he looked around and saw the pure emptiness and quiet of the camp around him. the space was honestly cozy—when nobody was around to ruin the atmosphere with chaos.

walking along the gravel sidewalks that were dented into the walkways he followed them and soon went off track to the forest that glew with the light of the moon.

tightening his lips a bit he walked into the forest, looking around and taking in the peaceful and quiet space around him. thinking his a million thoughts that never surfaced to be talked about he found himself getting deeper into the forest without any mind.

mindlessly walking around and turning each tree to tree he found himself kicking rocks, picking up leaves to soon throw them, looking at lizards and birds. once he found a small white lizard laying down on the rock he smiled a bit and leaned down to pet it, smiling to himself at the smooth scales that ran down his body.

‘what are you doing awake, lil guy’ he asked, as if he could talk back.

as if it almost did—it gave a small blink, percy speaking once more—‘guess you couldn’t sleep either, huh?’ smiling more as he pet the small lizard, he finally thought of the morning that was soon to come and the training he had to do with luke in the morning.

‘well…i guess i’ve gotta go now, you sleep well, okay?’ giving it one last pet he got up and walked around to soon see nothing but trees, no recent path he walked on.

looking around as his heart starting to speed up a little he realized he was lost…in the middle of the camp forest…with a lizard—by himself. turing around to see the lizard looking at him he scoffed.

‘you wouldn’t happen to know the way back to camp right?’

‘yeah but i’m not helping you’ a voice spoke. gasping a little percy walked up to the lizard and leaned down to it, his knees in the dirt so he was face to face with the small white lizard

‘you can talk?’ he asked it—it gave him a blink before the voice spoke once more.

‘that’s not…turn around’ the voice said. percy turned slowly to see a girl with (h/c) hair and vibrant (e/c) eyes looking down at him, she pushed up a eyebrow a bit as she looked down at percy who scrabbled to his feet.

‘o—oh, that’s embarrassing—‘

‘it is…bye now’ she turned around and made her way out to the forest only for percy to swallow his worry and follow her, hoping she was leaving to camp as well.

‘wait! are you going to camp?’ he whispered shouted.

‘yes’

‘well can you help me? i got lost and i thought i was the only one out here so you kind of saved my life’

the mystery girl turned around and looked percy up and down to take in his blue dino pajama pants, black jacket and his converse. looking back up into his eyes she turned around without a word.

‘uh…was that a yes? or a no?’ he asked her as she walked ahead of him.

‘if you want to stay here with your best friend lizard who you think can speak, go ahead and stay’ she spoke. he took this as a hint and hurried to his side.

the quiet atmosphere around them was almost suffocating percy. he found himself looking at her every now and again as he noticed her straight face and straight forward eyes that focused on the path ahead.

cleaning his throat he began to speak—‘so, what are you doing out here?’ he asked.

met with silence.

‘oh cool me too…uhm—so—‘

‘please…shut up?’ she asked him, turning to his face to see she had almost an irritated and desperate look for silence. he quickly shut his mouth and let her continue walking.

he was utterly curious. what was she doing out here? maybe she couldn’t sleep? maybe she was offering and praying to her parents? maybe she’s coming back from a party—

looking up to see they were at camp now, percy blinked and looked at the mystery girl who didn’t pay him any mind.

‘thanks for walking me’ he mumbled while looking over at her. the dark forest light didn’t really give him help to see what she looked like, but now he was able to make out more of her face features and the warm yellow light of the fire around them helped define her face even more.

he felt a small skip in his heart but paid it no mind.

‘don’t mention it—‘ she mumbled while she walked back to her cabin.

‘no really i—‘

‘ever.’ she finished while giving him a single last look before making her way to her cabin.

watching her walk with pure curiosity he walked slowly to his with his head turned to see her walk into cabin six. she’s the daughter of athena.

of course, he could’ve caught on earlier when she made her small snarky remarks.

walking to his cabin and getting his shoes off to soon take his jacket off and put it back where it was, he shuffled over to his bed and fell into the comforter. groaning a bit he found his mind going back to the mystery girl.

with no primary reason, he wished or hoped he could find out her name sometime soon.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

as the sun blazed down the the small group in training, luke thrusted his sword towards percy who quickly dodged it and swung his own at luke, of course he ultimately failed and ended up getting pushed by luke causing percy to fall to the ground and let out a grunt.

going to get back up in a hurry he was met with the tip of luke’s sword pointing right at this throat.

‘i think i won this round’ luke joked as he walked percy shake his head slowly.

‘you think?’ percy remarked back making luke smile and lean out a hand to help him up from his spot on the grassy ground below him.

once he was up on his feet, percy rolled his shoulders as the small tense of it caused him to hiss in slight pain. luke noticed his and placed a gentle hand upon percy’s shoulder.

‘we can be done for now, after lunch we can pick up on arching and get back to sword training, you can take a break, you did good today’ percy smiled up at his friend like who smiled back.

percy wasn’t that good nor was he bad at all with swords and arrows. but when it came to being against luke in almost anything he was definitely top three of two, yeah, it was that bad.

sighing he walked his way through the people as they talked amongst themselves with the half brothers and sisters. percy looked around and gave small smiles to some people who would just look at him and turn back around to their original spots.

clearing his throat in awkwardness he saw his best friend grover walking mindlessly pass everyone to his own business.

‘grover!’ percy called out, grover turned around to see his own best friend and smiled with a wave.

percy jogged his way to grover who was waiting for him.

‘how’d training go?’

‘do i look like i won?’

‘mm…not really? but it’s the thought of winning that counts’

‘well here, if i’m not holding a head on a stick i’m still considered a loser’ percy remarked. grover gave him a small shrug and smile before they walked.

‘where are you going?’ percy asked.

‘to the arrows, annabeth needed me to get something for her so i’m just going to drip it off to her then im back on my own’ grover showing a small collecting bag of arrows that were painted (f/c).

he looked down at them with a small frown in his eyebrow as he recognized the color. it was the same color that the mystery girl wore last night. he would have paid this no mind, but he had been very confused as to why she didn’t leave his mind.

they didn’t even share many words.

walking to where grover had mentioned percy looked up and quickly grabbed grover’s back shirt to pull him behind a tree—‘wait!’

‘what!? oh my—‘

‘shh…she’ll see me, be quiet!’ percy whispered as he hid behind the tree.

‘who? who will see you?’ grover hurried with concern and confusion.

‘that girl—i was walking in the forest last night and she was there too, i don’t want her thinking I'm like some psycho crazy stalking guy who is trying to kill her or something!’ percy pressed his back against the rough bark of the tree before grover turned to look and saw his friends.

‘who annabeth?’

‘no no, the girl next to her’ he hushed, grover turned back to see it was y/n.

‘y/n? her?’

‘who’s y/n?’

‘apparently the girl you ran into last night’ grover shrugged as he watched percy turn around from the tree and look at y/n who smiled at annabeth who told a joke as she moved her arrow around its bow.

‘y/n…’ he whispered. looking at her more he felt his eyes focus primarily on her. her smile and light in her eyes that seemed nonexistent and unfamiliar to the girl he met last night who held darkness and a frown.

‘wait you said she was in the woods?’

‘yeah…i couldn’t sleep so i took a walk, got lost and met her, she led me back to camp’ percy told, his eyes still watching y/n who mindlessly did her things.

‘did you guys talk?’

‘if im hiding from her i think it's safe for you to assume we didn’t talk’

‘right, right…well, guess you can now, right?’ grover smiled as he pushed percy out from behind the tree.

percy turned to look at grover who shrugged with a innocent look on his face, percy giving a glare before he followed grover over to the group in training.

‘annabeth! y/n!’ he called out, the girl turned around in sync as they shared a small smile to grover.

‘hey g’ y/n smiled as she looked down at the bag of arrows,’you got them, thank you so much. i’ve been a mess without them’ she grabbed the bag and placed a small hand on grover’s arm as a thank you before she looked to see percy.

‘it’s you’ she looked him up and down before giving a tight lip smile.

‘it’s me’ he showed a bit of teeth in this awkward smile as she inhaled awkwardly and turned around. annabeth frowned and looked between the two as she scoffed.

‘uhm, why was that?’ she mumbled.

‘nothing—‘

‘percy here, met y/n in the forest and thinks she thinks he’s some psychopath stalker who wants to kill here’ grover smiled as he looked at percy who rolled his eyes

annabeth laughed at this while she shook her head—‘well to assure you she doesn’t think that, she didn’t think of you at all, she would’ve told me or grover’ annabeth walked away giving grover a smile before going back to y/n who positioned herself with her bow and arrow.

‘hm…doesn’t think of me at all, got it’ percy watcher at

y/n aimed and got the red center of her arrow that was previously there, cutting it with in half with her new arrow.

walking away with grover, he noticed percy looking back occasionally then back forward. with a grin on his face he shook his head before talking.

‘don’t think of her too much, she doesn't like it’ he told percy who turned to him with a frown in his eyebrows.

‘what? okay for one i’m not thinking of her, and two how would she know if someone was thinking of her’ he asked as they walked side by side.

grover looked to the side to percy and shrugged—‘i can’t tell you how she does it because i don’t know how she does either, she kind of just knows face expression and body language more than others so…when people are thinking of her and they make it obvious she gets upset. ask luke, he’ll know’ grover nodded over to luke who was standing off with his small friend group.

percy looked confusingly at grover who gave a pat on the shoulder and walked away to his own duties, percy having nothing to do until after dinner decided to just go walking around to pass the time.

ㆍ୨୧ㆍ

after dinner and later at night with people walking to their cabins to rest after their showers and hang outs, percy made his way to luke’s cabin.

once he arrived, he was glad to see luke hanging out by himself just sharpening his sword with the quietness of the room to keep him occupied.

‘hey’ percy called out to luke making him turn and greet him with a head nod—‘hey percy, things going well? how’s training?’ he asked as percy walked closer to then stand near his bedside.

‘things are well, just around i guess? you?’

‘same old, same old, showing new campers around, training. what brings you here too late? nobody picking on you right?’ he places his sword down next to him and looked over at percy who looked a bit nervous.

putting it aside and hoping he could just get to the chase he inhaled deeply and spoke—‘no, no, nothing like that it’s just…’ looking over at luke who confusingly looked at him back he understood the nervousness and stood up.

‘it’s okay, you can ask and tell me anything dude, don’t stress it’ he told him with a smile. percy looked at this and shook his head.

‘i’m not stressing it it’s just—i don’t know how to really bring it up?’

‘just say it’

‘well, okay—for one don’t get mad and like to snitch on me or something but i went out for a walk last night and went in the forest…when i was there i got lost and met a girl turns out her name is y/n…earlier trigger told me not to think about her or something? because she will know, then he said you know all about that? i was just—‘

‘you're wondering what he means?’

percy nodded his head and blinked—‘yeah…’

luke chuckled a bit before placing his hands on his hips.

‘she isn’t a bad person nor is she someone you should be scared of, but i will tell you grover is right, she doesn’t like it when people worry, or think or are curious of her because…’ luke looked side to side at the doorway and the wall before shaking his head.

‘i can’t really tell you…just know, you should probably do what grover says. and if your lucky you can spritz your charm on her and she’ll be your friend too’ luke smiled a bit at percy who shook his head and rolled his eyes.

‘no—im not spritzing anything on anyone, but…thanks for the talk, i’ll see you tomorrow’

‘yeah, tomorrow—get some rest percy’ luke gave a head nod at percy who gave one back as he made his leave.

what was so secretive about this girl? was she a wanted criminal before coming here? can she read minds? what if she can read his mind right now—

‘i can’t read minds percy’ a voice spoke behind him, making him turn around in a hurry and look at who said it. it was y/n.

gulping a bit he looked side to side before speaking—‘a person who can’t read minds would say they can’t read minds…’

she smiled a bit before shaking her head—‘reading minds is embarrassing…i would hate to know what everyone's thinking every second of the day. why are you asking about me?’ she asked. her hands were crossed in front of her body with a stern look on her face.

‘what—‘

‘i heard you and luke talking…you wanted to know something about me. ask me personally before asking others’ y/n stayed in her spot as percy blinked nervously. setting his pride aside, he looked her up and down before speaking.

‘what grover said…why do you not like it when people think or worry about you? i mean it’s not my place—‘

‘your right it’s not…i don’t know you and you don’t know me. let’s keep it that way. okay?’ she tilted her head a bit with more emphasis on her words. looking at percy in the eyes before he nodded and just gave up, she nodded her own head and walked away.

watching her walk to her cabin he felt himself walking to his own with an empty mind.

getting to his cabin and shutting the door behind him he got himself ready for bed. sighing under his breath he laid down in his warm bed that awaited him since he left it.

looking up at the ceiling with his mind unturned, he tired his hardest not to think of the mysterious y/n who shared no thought and no background other than the fact she didn’t like percy. that was very obvious.

it’s not like he cared. well…not really.

but he was genuinely confused about her. and when it came to things he was confused about. he needed to solve it to become more understanding and succeed.

so, he swore to himself from this day on he will lean more and understand more about the secretive y/n. daughter of athena.

[sturniqlo]

First Date- M.S

summary: the one where matt grows the courage to ask his coworker out on a date and he plans the perfect first date

cw: FLUFF, mild cursing

masterlist

-----------------------------------------------

"Just do it!" Chris pushed his brother Matt towards the aisle that Y/n was stocking. "Chris! No, stop pushing me!" He tried to stop with his feet but failed. "If you don't do it now, you'll never end up doing it." Chris stopped in the aisle entrance and there she was, airpods in her ear stocking boxed pasta. "She's busy, I'll do it another time." He swats his arm. Trying to walk away. "Oh, hey guys!" Matt freezes as he hears Y/n's voice. "Hey, Y/n." Chris grabs Matt's arm and drags him towards her.

She takes her airpods out and places them back in their case. "You guys on break?" She asks, opening up another box. "No, unfortunately. But, anyway, Matt here," Chris pats Matt's chest. "Has something to tell you-" Everyone's walkie goes off and Chris' name is said. "Well, duty calls. I'll leave you two to it." He walks away with a smile on his face.

Ever since Y/n walked through the doors of the supermarket on her training day one year ago, he's always had his eyes on her. He always turned nervous whenever she talked to him or whenever either of his brothers called her over to just talk. Y/n on the other hand tried her best to make it known that she liked him. Unfortunately, she was in a relationship the first three months she started working she never really noticed Matt in a 'I like you' type of way.

So, when she started to grow feeling for him she started to talk to him more and she flirted with him. However, he never showed anything back to her and she believed he didn't feel the same way so she stopped flirting and just thought of him as a friend but that crush never went away and always stood at the back of her mind anytime she interacted with him. "You need something?" She softly asked, grabbing a few pasta boxes in her hand.

"Yeah- I- uh. Are you busy Saturday?" She stops stocking and goes back to where Matt is standing. "Saturday? No, I don't have any plans." She hides her smile. "Do you- would you like to go on a date with me?" He finally meets her eyes, he can feel his face turn red immediately. "Sure! I'll text you my address?" She smiles, blushing. "Sound great, I'll see you around?" He says. "Yeah, see you." Her smiles hasn't gone away.

As she sees that he's fully gone, she squeals. Matt returns back to his position, and Chris walks up to him. "Did you do it? He drags the mopping bucket with him. "Yes, we're going out Saturday."

"It's about fucking time!"

Since they were doing the closing shift, they locked up and headed to their respective cars. Chris and their other coworker, Randy, were walking in front of Y/n and Matt who were in a comfortable silence. "This is me." Y/n stopped at her car. "I'll see you Saturday?" Matt worked tomorrow but Y/n was off fortunately, they worked together on Sunday. "Saturday," She nodded. "Text me when you get home?" Matt said. "Yeah, I'll also text you my address for Saturday." She unlocked her car and waved at him.

The whole drive home, Y/n kept thinking about Matt and her upcoming date with him. Where were they going to go? What were they going to do? Will they go on more dates? She was excited to tell her mom about the news because she's always talked about Matt to her. Since her mom was a night owl, Y/n knew she was going to be up. "I'm home!" She said as she walked through the door and was hit with the aroma of her mom's chocolate chip cookies.

"In the kitchen!" She heard her mom. "Why're you making cookies so late? It's almost twelve." Y/n saw that she was making another batch. "Well, your lovely brother, who is enjoying his sleep upstairs, decided to tell me a day before that he told his baseball team that I would be bringing cookies to tomorrow cook out. So here I am making them." Y/n laughed. Typical him.

"You'll never guess what happened today!" She smiled just thinking about it. "What?" Her mom said, adding chocolate chips to her batter. "Remember Matt?" She questioned. "Your coworker you won't stop talking about? Yeah, I remember him." She teased. "Mom! Anyways, he asked me out on a date!" She squealed. "Really? Well that's great honey! Do you know what you'll be doing?" Y/n shook her head.

After her conversation with her mom, she headed upstairs to get ready for bed and remembered she had to text Matt.

y/n

hi! sorry for the late text, but i'm home safe and sound!

my address is 3729 Oak St

matt

sound good! i'll pick you up at 6:30, see you on saturday, dress casual!!

Saturday came quicker than usual, and Matt will be picking her up in an hour. Y/n spent about ten minutes picking a casual outfit. Her room looked like a tornado had passed by. There was shirts everywhere, pants, and shoes. Eventually she came up with something and threw it on. Since it was a bit chilly she threw on a small cardigan. She did some light makeup consisting of concealer, mascara, blush and a lip gloss. The hour soon became ten minutes.

On the way to pick up Y/n, Matt debated whether or not to buy her flowers. Would it be cheesy? He decided on getting her flowers. Matt stopped by the store and got her a small bouquet of tulips. He remembered that she had a small tattoo of a tulip on the side of her wrist. When he was outside her house. He got out of his car and walked up to her front porch to ring the doorbell. He looked around as he waited for the door to be opened and saw that there was a lot of planted flowers in their front garden.

He heard the front door unlock and slowly open. He expected to be met with Y/n, instead, he was met with a boy around ten year old. "My mom didn't order flowers, she ordered pizza." The boy said looking confused, scratching his head. Was he at the wrong house? "Oh- I- I'm not the pizza dude. I'm here for Y/n." He quickly said. "You're here for her? Like to kidnap her?" Matt giggled. "No, I came to pick her up for a date." The boy raised his eyebrows. "Oh- Y/n! There's a boy at the door!" He yelled. Seconds later, he heard Y/n coming down the stairs. "Yo, what did Mom and Dad tell you about opening the door?" Y/n's brother had a habit of opening the door for strangers, once he almost got kidnapped for it and the other, their parents for brainwashed into buying expensive cooking supplies.

"I thought it was the pizza." He said before walking away to the kitchen. "Hi, Matt. I'm sorry about him." She giggled. "It's no problem, here, these are for you." He handed her the flowers. "Thank you!" She gasped. "Here, come on in, I'll put these in water." She opened the door all the way so he could enter. He stepped foot into the house and looked around. To the left, he saw the living room with the tv on playing toy story. Passing the stairs, down the hallway the walls were filled with family pictures and pictures of Y/n and her brother.

Entering the kitchen, Y/n's brother was sitting on top of the counter eating cookies. "Would you a like a cookie?" Her brother said to Matt. "Sure." He said. He handed the container to Matt and he grabbed a cookie. Y/n smiled at the interaction. "These are good!" Matt said, mouth full of cookie. "My mom made them the day before!" They had a bit of cookies leftover from the cookout. Y/n wandered around the kitchen looking for a vase to put the flowers in.

"Okay, we can go now!" She dried her hands on the rag. "Cool, maybe we can finish our talk another day, hopefully?" Matt put his fist out so her brother can fist bump him. "Yeah! I'll show you my pokémon go collection next time. I can't use my ipad past six." He hopped off the counter and put the cookies back in the pantry. "Tell mom I left, okay? I think she's still showering."

In Matt's car, the music was lowly playing in the background while the two chatted. "So, where are we going?" Y/n asked, looking over at Matt. "Do you like Italian food?" He looks over at her. "Love." She nods. As Matt drives, they spark up a conversation.

Fifteen minutes later, Matt is pulling into a parking spot farthest away from the restaurant as the parking lot is packed. "Didn't think it was going to be so packed." He turns off the car and unbuckles his seatbelt. "I've never been here before." She says, doing the same before reaching for the door handle. "Wait!" He says. Matt opens his door, Y/n confused looks at his through the windows. She sees him get to her door and he opens it for her. "Oh, thank you, Matt." She giggles. He closes the car door and he walks next to her.

The restaurant is a few hundred feet away, Y/n grows the confidence to reach for his hand. Matt, caught off guard, looks down at their intertwined hands and smiles. "Have you been here before?" She looks up at him. "Once or twice. I came with Nick and Chris." He nods. As they get to the front door, he lets go of her hand so he can open the door and let her go in first. "Thank you!"

Getting inside, there's a couple of people in front of them. Matt stands next to Y/n and throws his arm over her shoulders and she leans into him. After a couple of minutes of waiting, they get seated at a booth. They settle in before a waiter comes to take their drink order and goes to get them. Placing their order in they start talking learning more about each other. "Is it just you and your brother or do you have more siblings?" He asks. "I have an older sister but, her and my parents aren't on good terms like at all." She says. "Her doing." She adds. "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." "You have an older brother, right? I think Nick has mentioned him a couple of times." Matt nods.

During the dinner, they shared food, and talked more. By the end of the dinner they learned probably everything about each other. Walking out hand in hand, they make their way back to the car. "How good are you at bowling?" He turns the car on. "I'm the best, actually." They laugh. "I'll be the judge of that." As they get back on the road, Matt reaches over and grabs Y/n's hand and he rests their hands on the center console.

"When did you realize you liked me?" She asks him as they're stopped at a red light. "When I saw Nick training you on your first day. You?" He asked back. "Well, I always thought you were really nice when I first started. But, after I was available and started talking to you more I started to feel something for you." She plays with the rings on his fingers.

Once they get to the bowling alley, Matt pays for them after Y/n tried to pay. "I could've payed for it, Matt. You covered dinner." She said as they walked towards a bench to put the shoes on. Matt had payed for dinner and it was pretty expensive, and she felt pretty bad. "Absolutely not, I asked you out on this date." He reassures her. "Can I at least pay for the arcade passes?" She asks, and he shakes his head. "Nope!" He says popping the p and he gets up to wait for her. They choose their alley and set their names before going to choose a ball.

"I like this green one." Y/n chooses her ball. "I'll get this one." He picks up a blue with white detailing. Going back to their alley, they start the game. "You're up. Let's see if you're as good as you claim to be." Matt giggles. She grabs her ball, and swings her arm back before letting go of the ball. Matt comes up behind her and they both watch as the ball knocks down all of the pins. Matt is stunned and Y/n turns back to him with a smile. "Your turn."

Matt grabs his ball and swings his arm back and forth letting go of the ball. Y/n does the same as him and stand next to him. The ball ends up knocking down only four of the ten pins. "That was a warm up."

By the end of the game, Y/n ended up winning by fifty points more than Matt. "You were saying?" She says as they look at the scores. "Okay, you're good a this. But, we're never bowling again. You're too good." Y/n gets excited at the fact that Matt possibly sees something with her. She only laughs. "Let's take our shoes back and go to the arcade." Matt grabs both his and hers shoes and walks to the counter.

They enter the arcade, the many bright colors lighting up the room. Hand in hand, they walk towards the kiosk to get the cards. "Matt, let me pay." She says as he pick two cards worth fifty dollars. "No, let me get this for you." He says, tapping his phone to pay. "You bought me dinner and paid for the bowling now this. I haven't paid for nothing." She whines. Matt grabs the two game cards and hands her one before cupping her face. "Look, there's a photo booth over in the corner you can pay for that, okay?" He places a kiss to her forehead and she feels her face heat up. "Okay." She smiles.

"What game would you like to do first?" Matt asks. "Let's do," She looks around. "That one." She points to the two Big Bass Wheel. They both tap their cards. "Let's see who can get the most points." Matt says. At the same time, they lift the levels and push it down. Matt watches his wheel and gasps when he sees the arrow is about to stop at one thousand points. "Holy shit- fuck! That's rigged." The arrow moves and stops at four points.

"Matt! There's children around!" She laughs. "Oops!" They looks at Y/n's and sees that she got fifteen points. "You can choose the next one." She tells Matt. He grabs her hand and leads them to Ice Ball. "Oh, I love this one." She says. They tap their cards and wait for the balls to be released. Similar to the blowing movements, they throw the ball under hand and see as the balls enter a hole. At the end of the game they saw their points and Matt got more than Y/n.

After many games, they end up at the photo booth. As promised, Matt lets her pay. "Okay, ready?" She says as she fixes her hair. Matt throws his hand over Y/n. "Yeah." For the first one, they just smile. "Come here." Matt brings Y/n closer and she rests her head against him. The camera shutters and it's time for the third one. Y/n brings her hand up and holds Matt's chin and she closes her eyes. For the last one, Y/n kisses Matt's cheek and he blushes.

Matt turns his head and they look into each other eyes as they start to lean closer. Suddenly the curtain is yanked open and they lean away from each other. "Oh- sorry!" A little girl says. "You're fine." Y/n clears her throat as she gets out, Matt follows. She grabs the two strips and hands one to Matt. "Look, we both get one." She says, Matt grabs the strip from her and smiles at the pictures. He grabs his wallet from his pocket and carefully places it in there. "Anything else you want to do?" He asks. They've both decided to keep their tickets and save them for another time so they can get more. "Let's do the claw machine. I want to get you something I saw earlier." She grabs his hand and drags him to the claw machine full of stuffed animals.

"What are you aiming to get?" He asks. "That pug right there." She points. On the first try she gets it. "No way you got it first try." Matt is stunned. "I'm pretty good at these too." She crouches down to get the stuffed dog. "Here you go." She hands it to him. "Thank you. What should we name him?" He asks. "Umm, Mr.... Wrinkleton?" She giggles. "Mr. Wrinkleton it is."

Matt drives them back to her house and they talk the whole way there. "Let me walk you to your door." He turns off the car and unbuckles his seatbelt, rushing to open her door. "Thank you for everything, I had so much fun tonight." She says, looking up at him as they stand on her porch. "I had a lot of fun too. Can I take you out again next friday?" She nods. "Of course." They stare at each other a bit before Matt grabs her jaw and starts to lean in. Y/n leans in more and places her lips on his.

His lips feel soft on hers, fitting perfectly. She moves her arms to wrap around his neck and his hands move down to hold her waist. Many seconds later, Y/n pulls away breathlessly, leaning her forehead against his before leaning back to look at him. "I'll see you tomorrow at work?" She smiles. "Definitely." He replies before placing his lips back on hers for one more kiss.

"Goodnight, Y/n."

[hadesrise]

𝐒𝐀𝐅𝐄 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐌𝐄.

part one — part two

𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞. the wayne family witness how you handle jason’s trauma.

𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘. jason todd x addams!male reader

𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘. sfw content, foul language, trauma, nightmares, mentions of torture, typical addams behavior (dark, edgy, gothic, disturbing behavior), romantic, death threats, soft addams!reader, mentions of a very dark and gruesome fictional book, dealing with trauma, fluff, lots of fluff, everything’s just soft

𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗'𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊. can't help it, i really enjoy writing addams!reader content. honestly, it's kinda getting old but i guess this will be the last one??? or one more and then i'll end its endless cycle?? anyway, if y'all have any recommended translation apps it'll be nice to know. don't wanna trust google translate that much.

FEM ALIGNED DNI !!

“Why are you awake so early in the morning?”

Bruce’s slightly raspy morning voice interrupts the silent reading you had indulged yourself in, barely reacting at his sudden presence despite the fact you failed to notice him from how focused you were on your book.

You glanced at him only for a split second before your eyes went back to reading again, “I prefer the quietness of your manor in the morning for a quick read. Although, I must say the bright sun is such a terrible sight. It nearly burned me as soon as my consciousness awakened.” As you replied casually, Bruce took notice of how the curtains are closed completely shut to block the sunlight from entering, as if getting even a little bit of it would burn you like a vampire. Well, you did look like a vampire because of how pale and ghostly your skin is as well as the all black, gothic medieval or victorian outfit.

Bruce still wasn’t used to your unique culture, ancient speech and intimidating presence, but had learned not to be too bothered by it ever since you and Jason began visiting the Manor often. He didn’t want to waste energy by constantly reacting to any unusual traits you displayed, and he’s been successful so far. Even though he still doesn’t agree with your morals, he knew not to argue with you like before, since you’ve been nothing but respectful to him everytime you set foot in the manor.

Raising one of his eyebrows, Bruce tilts his head. “Do you always read?”

“Yes, indeed.” Came your immediate response. “Books are what defines me, Mr. Wayne. My soul is practically attached to it.”

“Is that why you always carry a book with you?” Stephanie suddenly chimes in out of nowhere with Tim behind her, curiosity plastered across her face. You nodded, glancing up to see Damian sit down on the other sofa while playing a brutal game that occasionally makes a blood splattering sound.

Bruce sighs, “And why are you all awake so early?”

Tim looks at him weirdly, “It’s already eleven o’clock. Almost lunch time, you know.” Deadpanning, he then leans in from behind to get a glimpse of what you were reading, only to cringe slightly after his eyes read a particular sentence; The flesh muscles of his legs were torn off, almost as if it had been ripped open by a lion, exposing bones with blood uncontrollably flooding out. It’s definitely one of those horror books who has unnecessary amount of gore. “What in the hell are you reading?”

“Bloodthirst by Clementine.” You sipped on a black coffee before continuing, “Wherein the main character becomes bloodthirsty for revenge after his lover had been abducted and mutilated by a group of serial killers. The sentence you’ve read is one of his acts of revenge which includes a pack of wolves.” The corner of your mouth twitched up a bit, looking up at him with that glint in your eyes. “It has a pleasantly satisfying plotline.”

Disturbed and quite freaked out, Tim exchanges eye contact with Bruce and pressed his lips together. “That is... uhm, interesting.” Amusement merely crosses your face before it instantly went back to your usual emotionless expression.

They still haven’t gotten used to the extremely calm demeanor you had because of how most of them grew up not having a quiet presence in the manor, even Cassandra wasn’t as silent as you before. You’re the only calm and fully collected person they’ve ever met, coming off as rather intimidating due to your piercing gaze, emotionless face, wiser-than-thou mind, and utmost patience. Especially the patience one, because most of them were either short-tempered or just born enraged. Sometimes, they get intimidated without you even speaking — once, you and Jason reluctantly joined them to a grand event and someone made an utterly horrible decision to insult Jason by comparing him to the “well-behaved” eldest son Dick, which resulted in you shooting them a piercing, dark, cold and harsh glare not even a second after that instantly made them freeze in spot. That look in your eyes alone made their blood run cold and face pale.

Needless to say, they regretted insulting Jason as quick as the wind blows, but that story’s for another time.

“Where’s Dick? Did he sleep at Barbara’s?” Stephanie wondered, realizing the lack of annoying presence.

“Nope!” An all too cheerful voice in the morning pipes up as Dick appeared with a big smile on his face. He quickly noticed you reading a book and approached, “Reading a dark book again? Where’s Jay?”

“There’s only an obvious answer to an already obvious question, Richard.” Retorting without sparing him a glance, you flipped the page and earned a snicker from Damian. “He will be walking down the stairs soon. Sois patient, frère.”

Dick replies an ‘okay’ before jumping on the couch Damian was sitting on, deciding to annoy his youngest brother instead. Shaking your head with the corner of your mouth twitching up only barely, you focused on reading your book again despite the peaceful silence being broken by their chattering, although it didn’t take long before you averted your gaze and stared at the ceiling, as if feeling something wrong.

Damian notices. “What are you doing?”

You didn’t speak right away. Just staring up like something was there, which also made the others look up in attempt to figure out what you were doing.

“Jason is not sleeping well,” You finally stated, not looking away from the ceiling. “Humans often radiate different energy depending on their mental state, which makes it easier to specifically identify what their current emotions or moods are. It can be felt if you concentrate enough. Jason’s energy has been much peaceful ever since I’ve tormented Joker. It is supposed to stay as that.”

“What do you feel now?” Cassandra asked worriedly, her body leaned back against the wall.

“He’s distressed.” You concluded, shutting the book close without bothering to slip a bookmark on the page, which she noticed quickly. She reads with you a lot and had never seen you close a book without bookmarking it; books are absolute treasures for you, but not as much as Jason now.

Confusion took over Tim’s face as you set your book down and drink your black coffee in one go, “How do you know?”

“There is not one thing I don’t know about Jason.” You remarked nonchalantly, like it’s how it should be. You just knew Jason well enough to understand him more than anyone else, even more than himself sometimes.

Before you could stand up from the couch, a footstep erupts from the top of the stairs and comes Jason slowly walking down, wrapped around in a blanket and thick arms hugging his body, making himself as small as possible despite his large frame. “(Y-Y/n)...?” His voice was thick and hoarse, as if he had been crying, as he stuttered and looked for you like a lost child.

You quickly got up from the couch and walked up to him when he stopped in the middle of the stairs. “Come here, darling.” Jason doesn’t hesitate to drop the blanket and wrap his arms around your neck, clinging onto you for dear life. Slipping your hands on the back of his thighs, you lifted him up with ease and returned to the couch, sitting down sideways so Jason could lay on top of you, just how he liked.

“Horrible...” Jason murmured, face buried in your chest. “Horrible, all of ‘em. It hurts. Everything hurts.”

You frown, although your face had the softest look anyone had ever seen as you gently stroke his back, still having him caged in your arms. “Terrifying dream, was it?” You asked, earning a nod.

“ ‘m scared...” Jason breathes shakily, “I’m still there... Still hurts. Too dark. Cold. He’s still laughing. Hurts, it hurts.” He blabbered, words repeating over and over again, and breath increasingly becoming rapid as panic begins to slowly build up inside him. His entire body was trembling, sobs wreck through his body.

Everyone except you was at lost for words.

Jason seemed... weak and fragile. A cracked glass that can easily break with just one touch. Had Jason been suffering like this all this time? It felt as if Bruce was bludgeoned by a brick in the form of realization, opening his eyes to how the events with Joker truly affected Jason. He was obviously and clearly traumatized (who the fuck wouldn’t be?), but this is the first time everyone had actually witnessed the trauma, considering Jason refused to be vulnerable in front of them.

“Shh... Open your eyes, chéri. Look into mine and breathe slowly,” You gently instructed, rubbing his back in a soothing manner and muttering encouragements. Jason does as he’s told and open his eyes, staring into your calm and comforting (e/c) eyes while attempting to slow down his breathing. “Doing so excellent, mon amour. Breathe in and out, slowly. Good boy. You do not have to rush yourself.” The soft tone of your voice bringing him a sense of safety.

Once he’s calmed down, you slowly hold his hand and squeeze to provide warmth, hugging him tighter with one arm. “Can you tell me where you are and who you’re with right now?”

Jason squeezed back, little tears still running down his cheeks. “T-the Wayne Manor... With—with you... A-and Bruce, and Dick... Tim... Damian... C-Cass and Steph...” His gaze focusing on your encouraging eyes, his mind slowly detached from the nightmare it was drowning itself in.

“Good boy, sweetheart.” You kissed his forehead, “Is it still dark?” Jason shakes his head. “What about coldness? Am I succeeding in warming you up?” He nods this time. You smile, running your hand through his hair. “Be not afraid, Jason. Darkness will not consume your mind forever, although it is a part of our lives. You might remain afraid of the excessive trauma for years, but being afraid of it does not mean you will be chained eternally, and neither does it mean you are weak nor easily destructible. You’ve bravely fought a war within yourself. I know you will be able to defeat the nightmare someday.”

Jason sniffles, “Do you think I’m healing?”

“Yes, very slowly, as how healing process should be.” You stroked his cheek, “Trauma comes with nightmares. It especially shows when you are doing well so it could test your strength, whether you’ll be able to overcome. But it can never defeat you; it only knows to cause pain, agony, and fear. You know love, joy, compassion, and empathy. It is what make us humans that defeats the monsters.”

He curled up against you, “Just want it to be over. I feel less like myself.”

“You are not bounded to your trauma for all eternal, chéri. It does not define who and what you are, and it certainly does not make you any less.” You softly replied. “Never doubt yourself, my love. Healing cannot be completed within a day, it takes more than few years and I will be with you every step of the way.”

Biting his lip, Jason rests his chin on your chest. “You’ll get fucking tired dealing with me. Your patience might not be able to handle it.”

“I cannot get tired of you. Not when you hate pastels too.” Jason chuckles at your joke, the mood surely lightening. “And do not speak as if you don’t know me, Jason. There is no such thing as might not be able to handle it in my vocabulary when it is you. I love you too much. If I cannot handle anything that involves you and matters about you, then my love for you will mean nothing but dishonorable. The two of us definitely have knowledge of how I would rather decapitate myself than offer you a half-hearted love.”

Jason’s heart swell as the back of his eyes sting again, tears threatening to come out. He knew how difficult it is to be with someone as much trauma as he has, which made him live in fear of you getting tired and leaving one day, even though you’ve assured him more than a hundred times. He knew he was difficult to be with even without the trauma, yet you willingly giftwrap your heart to offer to him while simultaneously providing him with the understanding he deserved. You accepted him along with his trauma. Nobody knows how special that feels.

Cassandra and Stephanie sat on the carpet near the couch where you two laid, so they could check up on Jason. The others had scooted closer as they watch you comfort him nearly expertly.

“Can still feel it, (Y/n).” Jason snuggles on your chest, “The crowbar. It’s still hitting me.”

You gently pull his hand to see his arm that was littered in autopsy scars, some little and some a bit big. Caressing them, you press a lingering kiss. “It was just a fragrance of your memory, beloved. You are safe now, I will keep you protected for as long as I am here. No crowbars.”

Jason nods and looks up at you, puckering his lips. You immediately kiss him, then pressed a kiss on his forehead. “I know he can’t touch me anymore. You already tortured him enough.” He smiled and wiped off his tears.

You pat his head and hug him closer, “Everything will be alright someday. Would you like a hot chocolate with marshmallows on top? I’ll cook you breakfast as well.”

“Yeah, that would be nice.” Jason whispers.

You slowly slip out from under him, making sure he’s laying down comfortably before fetching the blanket he dropped and wrapping it around him, muttering an i’ll be right back. Watching you disappear into the kitchen, Jason sighs in content and curls up on the couch, still feeling vulnerable but not worse. Stephanie smiles softly at him as Dick walks over to sit beside her, ruffling Jason’s hair.

“You’ll be fine soon, little bird.”

Jason only nodded. The first time he didn’t scoff nor bark, indicating he still can’t forget the nightmare he had.

Soon, his other brothers joined Dick while Bruce sits on the couch beside Jason, looking regretful and apologetic with a frown. Witnessing the amount of trauma Jason has to endure even after many years dropped an equal amount of realization within the family, even though they knew he was traumatized. They just didn’t know the extent to it, and seeing it unfold before them had made them realize they hadn’t been supportive or doing enough for Jason when they should’ve known how much trauma torture and murder would cause. He literally died and came back to life — it’s impossible to not carry a lifelong trauma that greatly affects his personality and attitude; the utmost rage and murderous desires he displayed before might have just been his coping mechanism until meeting you, who quickly became his comfort and calmness.

Nearly most of them had guilt written in their faces due to feeling as if they had been invalidating Jason’s trauma, especially Bruce who did not deal with the entire thing well and had failed to show Jason he cared even though he did more than the son could ever know.

Once again, you beat him to it.

“He cares about you so much, doesn’t he?” Bruce quietly and rhetorically questioned.

Jason nodded happily, “A little too much sometimes. (Y/n)’s always careful and calm, but he gets reckless when it’s about me. Like that Joker thing.” He chuckles, “He said fucker didn’t even have time to laugh.”

The corner of Bruce’s mouth twitched up only to disappear, the guilty look still staying. He breathes in and out slowly, causing Jason to look at him questioningly as Bruce avoided eye contact. “Jason, I... uh — I’m sorry. I’m sorry If you ever felt invalidated or unloved by me. I had been so focused on my morality that I failed to show you I cared for you. I really do, Jason. Just maybe not the way you were expecting me to show it.” He carefully says as to not trigger anything in his son.

Pulsing his lip, Jason shakes his head and reached out to play with Bruce’s hand. Bruce seem surprised, but let him nonetheless. “Mhm,” He hums, “It’s okay. I was just angry and hurt... You didn’t look for me enough, and there’s suddenly a new Robin, so... I thought you forgot about me. I couldn’t accept that you seemed to move on so easily.”

Bruce’s heart clenches. “That’s not true, son.”

“I can see that now. I was too bitter and angry, it made me blind.” The broken boy smiles a bit in an attempt to reassure him. “It’s not your fault I turned out like this and ruin everything, you know.” He sadly says, looking down.

The older Wayne shakes his head, “You don’t ruin everything, Jason. You were coping and still coping with what you went through. (Y/n) was right when he said healing takes time.”

Letting go of his hand, Jason instead fidgeted his own fingers now with a sad pout. A little child-like. “But you gave up on me. I know I’m difficult. It’s why you normally can’t deal with me and we always end up arguing. And I was a failure ‘cause I died easily as a Robin.” His voice was slightly high-pitched and trembling. It reminded Bruce again of a child.

Immediately shaking his head, he grasped Jason’s fidgeting hand and firmly looks at him. “You were never a failure, Jason. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. You did everything you could. What I can’t forgive is that I let you die as Robin and not as Jason Todd. I can’t forgive myself for being too late to save you. It wasn’t your fault. Nothing’s your fault, son.”

He pulls him into a hug, which caused Jason to breakdown as he clings onto Bruce and cries his heart out. Embracing him tightly, Bruce kept stroking his back for comfort. The others watched silently with a sad smile, knowing both of them wanted to reconcile for a long time but was too hesitant to do so. It made them happy yet emotional at the same time, Dick and Stephanie already having tearful eyes.

“It truly feels upsetting to ruin this wonderful moment, but I’ve got to feed Jason. May I?” Your calm voice erupted, just then everyone noticing your presence standing at the side of the couch. Bruce chuckles and pulled away, sitting down on the carpet instead so you could take his place. You nodded appreciatively before taking a seat.

Jason sits up, accepting the hot chocolate from you with both hands and sipping it. You ruffle his hair gently.

“His age mentality regresses when the nightmare’s been too severe,” You explained what Bruce was wondering. “It is one of his responses to trauma. I believe it’s the inner child coming out, attempting to relive again.”

“How long?” Dick asked.

“About an hour.” You take the mug from Jason and set it on the table as you begin to cut a bite sized piece from the pancakes to feed your lover. “He has the desire of being taken cared of and I intend to fulfill it. Mother and father takes care of him once in a while when it happens in our Addams home.”

“Mom and dad takes me shopping. It’s fun.” Jason remarked, grinning.

“Shall we buy you some dead flowers, chéri? And a new gun, perhaps. Would you like that?” You caressed his cheek while feeding him with the other, Jason leaning his face on your palm.

“Yeah, I’d love that. Love you, (Y/n).”

“I adore you too, my love.” You kissed the tip of his nose, which caused him to erupt into a fit of giggles as you feed him again.

After Jason had fallen asleep peacefully on the couch, you pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh deeply in attempt to calm yourself down. Seeing Jason struggle with trauma is not easy, especially when he’s far too scarred mentally that it causes mental age regression. It also probably came from the fact he had never lived a peaceful life even before meeting Bruce, losing his childhood by witnessing the harsh reality at such a young age, and having to stop being a child after becoming Robin.

You had utmost patience, but when something affects Jason greatly like this, you often tend to lose calmness and be overwhelmed with rage and bloodthirst. If you could take all his pain away and those painful memories, you’ve already done it. You would give up anything for Jason to not struggle with the torment of his torture and murder — you will give up everything for him.

“You okay, (Y/n)?” Tim asked worriedly, feeling your atmosphere change.

“I wouldn’t call blood boiling with rage okay.” You muttered murderously as your dark eyes glared daggers at the carpeted floor. “Joker is already encaged and chained down within the cells of Arkham Asylum, but the aftermath of his vile actions still haunts and torments the victims who have gone through survival. Trauma is inescapable, including fear of the perpetrator. Their spirits won’t rest peacefully, alive or dead, while his existence still roam the Earth.”

The way you spat with utmost disgust and anger was now understandable, as well as your nearly inexcusable actions committed before. You witness this side of Jason more often than they do. It’s already unbearable even for them, what more for you who takes precious care of him?

Suddenly, Bruce comes to understand your morals. Why you do what you do, why you believe what you believe.

“May I ask you to take care of him while I’m out, Mr. Wayne?” You asked, voice thick, clearly grounding yourself to your humanity.

Bruce nods, for the first time. “Yes, now go do what you want to do.”

You smiled, immediately standing up and wearing your coat before rushing off the manor.

Cassandra shakes her head with a smile as Damian looked at his father with a smirk, “He might kill him, you know.”

Bruce just shrugged.

“Well,” Stephanie sighs, “Can’t stop (Y/n) from going on a rampage against the Joker. He deserves what’s coming for him anyway.”

Few hours later, Jason wakes up to the news of Arkham Asylum increasing its security due to an unknown attack against Joker that left him barely alive, and you casually reading a book with pleased and prideful look. It doesn’t take him long to figure things out and tackle you in a hug, leaving kisses all over your face.

Joker’s probably going to have nightmares about you, but he deserves what’s coming for him, doesn’t he?

© ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴅᴇsʀɪsᴇ. sᴛᴇᴀʟɪɴɢ, ᴘʟᴀɢɪᴀʀɪᴢɪɴɢ, ᴏʀ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴍᴏɴᴇᴛᴀʀʏ ɢᴀɪɴ ɪs sᴛʀɪᴄᴛʟʏ ᴘʀᴏʜɪʙɪᴛᴇᴅ. ᴀsᴋ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴏʀ ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪɴɢ.

[daddyslilchickenfingers2]

Slutmas Day 3

Oblivious (Matt)

Request: can you do a matt x female reader smut where they’re friends (but have secret crushes on each other) and she sleeps over at their house and ends up asking to sleep in matt’s room and then s e x (you can include hella degradation and humiliation too)

Warnings: gg cuddling, slight angst, mentions of past abusive relationship, slight degradation, breeding, mentions of pregnancy, Matt being a fucking simp, took some inspo from the request but not exactly it

“Are you trying to turn me on or are you just that oblivious?”

3rd Person pov

It was Friday night in Los Angeles and as usual, the Sturniolo triplets and their hometown best friend Y/n were having a sleepover. Y/n had moved to LA a few months after the triplets as she too had gained quite a following on youtube. The four friends had created a tradition; every Friday night they’d get snacks, watch a few movies, and have a sleepover. The three brothers used to argue over whose room Y/n would sleep in because that person would get to spend more time with her.

They had all decided each of the brothers would have a certain week of the month and they would do something to randomly pick a brother for the last week. The Friday schedule went Nick, Matt, and Chris, just like their birth order and the last Friday was TBD. Since it was the last Friday of the month, the three had decided to play rock, paper, scissors to determine whose room Y/n would be sleeping in tonight.

Y/n’s pov

I was excited that Matt had won the game because I secretly had the biggest crush on him. We all had decided it was time to go lay down in our respective rooms, giving the other two brothers a hug before heading to Matt’s bedroom. Matt and I had decided we were just going to watch cartoons for the rest of the night. We changed into our pajamas, Matt only wearing pajama pants while I threw on an oversized shirt and spandex shorts, we laid on his bed and he had his arm around me.

I was kind of cold since it was raining outside, “Matt I’m cold, can we cuddle?” I whined and moved so I could wrap my arms around Matt’s torso after he nodded yes. I laid my head on his chest and brought my right leg up to lay across his thighs. Matt ended up moving his arm to wrap around my waist while using his other to play with my hair.

“You know, you’re really pretty Y/n/n, and so cute when you cuddle with me like this” Matt said as his grip around my waist got tighter in a possessive way. I blushed, “You’re cute too Matty, I love your eyes but sometimes you make me nervous when you stare at me” I pouted making him laugh, “I’m sorry, I just like looking at you” he said before kissing the top of my head.

We laid like this for a while as I mindlessly traced random shapes onto his chest. I moved my leg to try and get closer to Matt because I was still cold but I failed. Letting out a loud huff of annoyance, “Matty I’m coooold!” I whined with a pout, once again moving my leg so that I was now almost straddling him.

Matt let out a small laugh when I wrapped my arms tighter around him and moved to hide my face in his neck. I guess I was moving my leg too much, trying to get comfortable, because Matt let out a grunt and grabbed my thigh to stop it from moving. “God, Y/n are you trying to turn me on or are you just that oblivious?” he asked making me confused.

“What are you talking about” I questioned confused as I moved my head back to his chest, “Y/n there’s no way that you don’t know what I’m talking about. Now I asked you a question; are you trying to turn me on or are you just that oblivious?” he repeated. I moved my head to look at Matt’s seemingly unamused face, “I’m not doing it on purpose, I didn’t mean to…” I pouted, genuinely not knowing I was unintentionally turning him on.

Matt let go of my thigh, pushing it off of him and making me think I made him mad. He grabbed my hand moving it down so it was placed on his growing erection, “You fucking did this, you’re such a dumb little slut aren’t you?” he asked with a sadistic laugh. His stare was making me feel hot all over and I couldn’t help but blush.

I stayed silent not knowing what to say while I avoided eye contact resulting in Matt roughly gripping my jaw and forcing me to look at him. “I know all about your little humiliation and degradation kinks Y/n. I bet you’re fucking loving this right now aren’t you?” he said with an icy stare, making me whimpering involuntarily.

He let go of my jaw with a laugh, “Matt stop it’s not funny. Don’t play with my feelings like that” I sighed while sitting up. Matt did the same, looking at me with an annoyed expression, “C’mon Y/n/n, you’re my best friend. How could you not know that I have the biggest crush on you?” he questioned. I looked down and started playing with my fingers as I was suddenly nervous, “I-I don’t know… I just assumed you knew I had a crush on you and that you just liked fucking with me. I didn’t know you actually liked me back” I mumbled.

“God, Y/n/n! You really are a dumb slut aren’t you? I’ve made it so fucking obvious, why do you think Nick and Chris let me win so often? It’s because they know I’m fucking in love with you!” Matt raised his voice angrily and stood up to pace. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know. Please don’t yell at me” I pleaded, suddenly feeling anxious and getting slight PTSD flashbacks of my abusive ex boyfriend. Matt immediately felt bad for me once he saw how I flinched when he started walking closer.

Tears welled up in my eyes, a few slipping down my cheeks, I know Matt would never physically hurt me like that but the trauma is still there. “Hey, hey I’m sorry, don’t cry! Please don’t cry Y/n/n, I’m sorry! I’m just stupid and frustrated because being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, fucking sucks” he tried as he stood in front of me and pulled me off the bed for a tight hug. I dried my tears pretty quickly and we just stayed there, hugging for a moment before the night took another turn.

I quietly mumbled, “I do love you back by the way…” into his chest, causing Matt to pull away and hold onto me by my shoulder. A big smile spread across his face “Say it again!” he said shocked, “I love you back” I giggled as Matt’s smile somehow got even bigger. “Again.” he demanded, “I’m in love with you, Matthew” I repeated but Matt still didn’t fully believe me, “One more time?” he asked.

Instead of a verbal response right away, I moved Matts hands off my shoulders so I could lean close to his ear and whisper, “I love you” before sloppily kissing his neck. My kisses moved towards his lips and within a minute, our lips were smashing together in a messy way. Matt pulled back just enough to say “I love you” multiple times as his kisses were peppered across my nose and lips.

“I was really gonna have my way with you tonight, but looks like I get to breed you as mine instead. Would you like that Y/n/n? Would you like to be mine?” he asked, staring into my eyes with so much admiration, love, and lust filling his eyes. “Mmm I think we both know I’d love nothing more than to be yours. God, I’m so in love with you Matthew!” “Fuck babe, I love it when you call me Matthew! Gets me so hard” Matt confessed.

I decided to tease him a bit, running my nails across his chest, stopping at the waistband of his pajama pants. Matt’s breath hitched as I teasingly placed my fingertips under the waistband of his pajamas pants. “Yeah? You usually hate being called Matthew” I pointed out, “It’s so sexy when you say it though… fuck I just wanna put a baby in you” Matt groaned. He placed one hand on my waist and cupped the side of my face in the other.

Forcing me to look up at him, Matt started saying, “I don’t think you understand how much I love you Y/n, I want to fucking marry you, want you to have my kids, want you by my side for the rest of our lives” he slowly started to tear up a little. I started placing kisses all over his face, leading down his neck. Fully slipping my hand into his pajama pants, I gave his hard cock a squeeze, leaving wet kisses across his neck.

Matt let out a content sigh, “You’ve got me Matthew, I’m all yours. Want you to put a baby in me, make me all fat and pregnant with your kid, Matty” I lowly said. “I’m gonna fucking breed you babe” Matt growled as he ushered me back to the bed, instantly crawling on top of me. I laced my fingers through his hair, returning the soft smile he gave me, “As much as I want your cock in my mouth, I don’t think I can wait, I need you inside of me now Matty” I whined.

Matt placed a short, wet kiss to my lips, pulling away and smirking down at me, “Say my name right and I’ll give you whatever the fuck you want, darling” he said. “Fuck Matthew! Please just ruin me already, I want to fully be yours” I whined, lifting my own shirt over my head. Matt’s eyes fell directly to my breasts, his smirk growing wider as he started to toy with the waistband of my shorts.

“So you don’t want fore play or anything? Do you really need my dick that bad?” he teased, sliding my shorts down before sliding off his pajama pants. “Please Matthew, I want you to fuck me dumb and breed me” I whined again, pulling him down for a kiss. The kiss quickly turned into a sloppy, wet makeout with us letting out small, breathy moans into each other’s mouths as Matt started to grind down on me.

I moaned loudly as he started trailing his kisses down my neck, across my boobs and stomach, stopping right above my panties. Matt looked up at me for permission to pull them off, I nodded and watched in awe as he slid off my panties. Matt placed a kiss to my clit before vulgarly spitting directly onto my pussy before sliding off his boxers in the process. “I don’t wanna hurt you baby, so I’m gonna stretch you out a little bit, okay?” he softly smile, slipping two fingers into me.

I let out multiple whines as Matt scissored his fingers, stretching me out for him. “I’m ready. I’m ready! Please, I need you!” I cried out, he removed his fingers from me, promptly shoving them into his mouth. Matt spit onto my pussy again, mixing it with my juices by using the tip of his cock, slapping it on my clit a few times before pushing in. “Holy fuck princess, you’re so goddamn tight- fuck! i won’t last long like this” he panted out.

“Matthew- shit you’re so big, stretching me out so good baby” I cried out as he pounded into me at a ruthless speed. Matt placed his hand on the on my lower stomach, feeling a slight bulge every time he fucked into me. “You gonna cum for me baby? I feel your pussy tightening around my cock, fucking cum for me Y/n! I need to put my goddamn babies in you!” Matt growled as he started going faster while rubbing my clit.

My nails on one hand dug into his back while the other roughly pulled his hair, making him thrust deeper. “Oh shit Matthew- I’m gonna cum! I’m cumming! Fuck Matthew, cum for me, fill me up!” I screamed out in a pornographic moan. My pussy tightly clenched around his cock as I came, Matt let out something between a growl and a whimper as he shots his warm load into me.

“Yeah, good girl, you did so well for me. Can’t believe you just let me do that princess” he panted, removing his cock. Matt slowly and gently pushed his cum that was slowly spilling out back into my pussy. I whimpered at the feeling, “Too much Matthew” I whimpered, “Sorry love, didn’t want any of my cum to drip out, had to push my babies back into you” he shyly told you.

I just realized that we will actually most likely have a baby since I’m not on birth control, Matt stopped hovering over me to lay down instead. “Matt you know I’m not on birth control, right? I can go get a Plan B in the morning if you want” I sincerely. “Are you fucking kidding! I know that dummy! Like I said earlier, I wanna have babies, get married, and create a family with you. You’re not taking a Plan B unless you want to because I’m perfectly capable of taking care of you and a baby” he smiled at me, moving some hair out of my face.

“Really? Like you really mean that?” I smiled back, “Of course I mean it, I’ll go out and buy you the biggest diamond ring I can find and propose to you in my bedroom tomorrow if I have to” he giggled, placing a sweet kiss to my lips. “I love you Matthew, so much” I said before placing my own kiss on his lips, “And I love you so much more” Matt smiled. He placed a quick kiss on my forehead before turning off the light by his bed so we could sleep.

Tag List: @angelic-sturniolos111 @biimpanicking @chrisenthusiast @christinarowie332 @dev-speaks @ermdontmindthisaccount @flowerxbunnie @fionaheartswomen @kvtie444 @lustfulslxt @mangosrar @mangoposts @recklesssturniolo @strniohoeee @sturnphilia @solarsturniolo @soursturniolo

All work is subject to copyright

©️ Daddyslilchickenfingers2

Do not steal my work

[tonixe]

Charade...

a/n: Omg, like guys I'm lowkey obsessed with Coriolanus Snow, like obsessed, but I can't like to stop, like I'm literally going crazy for this white boy like lemme just love you like pleaseeeeee. Also, I got heavily influenced to write this after watching the charade movie, this fic will have lyrics connected to it, so you can listen to it or not, the choice is yours. The song I used is Charade by Henry Mancini.

warning: angst, mentions of some sort of cheating, reader being used, yelling. proofread (?) maybe, idk.

pairing: Coriolanus Snow x reader

word counter: 1.6k

When we played our charade...

You stood there fitting on your dress, one of the maids tightening up your corset on the back of your dress. You were going to attend an event, being seen by the public of the people of Panem. Well, being the first lady of Panem, organizing, and attending thousands of events in your husband's honor. Your role was to keep a smile, even when it was a good time for you or your country. You served the public and served your husband, looking inside yourself into the mirror in front, as the maid finished fighting your dress up. It was a red, burgundy dress that he personally picked for you, to match your husband's suit.

We were like children posing...

You weren't originally supposed to be in the position, you weren't even supposed to be married to him. You only know if when you were kids, him and his cousin, Tigris. You were familiar, knowing her more than you knew him. But time came to pass by, and you managed to know more about him, his likes, and dislikes, he was always around his grandmother when he stopped by you. It was always a vivid memory for you, playing seek with the younger version of himself and running around the park, you really missed him, but now it didn't feel like him at all.

Playing games..acting out names..guessing the parts we played...

Placing your hand near where your heart lay, staring at the mirror hoping it would break. It was a small world, you both went to the same academy, where you met him again after a little time apart, you still sent letters to him though, hoping he read every last word you marked on the page. You manage to reunite there, spending your time with him, talking, walking to classes, and doing everything together.

Oh, what a hit we made...

You felt your heart pumping when you were near him, his nice demeanor making you feel safe. He was your everything, you didn't think he thought the same but you still kept the feelings to yourself. Remember sitting in the library after hours, studying next to him, feeling yourself getting drowsy, almost falling down on your open textbook. "Are you tired?" You turned to him, he didn't look at you, his eyes looking at the textbook. Your cheeks flushed, before he turned to you. You felt your palm getting sweaty, and the pace of your heart increasing, "No" You lied, turning back to your book, "I know when you lie, Y/N" He tapped his shoulder, your eyes widening, "You sure?" You asked. He nodded. You placed your head on his shoulder trying not to make him uncomfortable or distracted. Smiling to yourself, before closing your eyes, you swore to yourself that you saw a little smile on his solemn face.

We came on next to closing...

You were really satisfied when you were with him, a smile never leaving your face. Spending time with him whenever you can, and he loved it too. A smile is always on his face when he sees you in the hallway, running towards him.

Best on the bill..lovers until...

He was familiar with your family. Your mom liked him. Your father respected him. You were happy, but happier when he confessed his feelings to you, your cheeks felt hot. Everything felt like a dream to you, this was what you wanted. His hands were on your face gently, as he pulled you into a kiss, you closed your kiss, loving every minute of it. You felt on top of the world, and your crush liked you back, isn't that what you wanted the whole time.

Love left the masquerade...

Everything took a sharp turn when reaping day came, he was in the top 24th of the best students in the academy, pairing in the Hunger Games as a mentor. You were happy for him, hugging him and giving him kisses. Him, laying down on your lap, as you played with his hair, as he voiced his wants to you. You listened to him, enjoying his ribboning voice to your ears, kissing him on his forehead.

Fate seemed to pull the strings...

Until you saw Lucy Gray, on the holographic screen. You never saw her as an opponent, she actually made you curious, about her voice and how she represented herself. She was from District 12, with a voice only found in the country of Panem, and a nice one too. Your eyes seemed to tune on to the TV screen, watching her. She was going to be the ticket for Coriolanus to win, hoping in your heart that she would win the hungry games. Though she physically didn't suit the standards of a fighter. You gave out prayers at night for her to stay alive for Coriolanus.

I turned and you were gone...

Time... when you Coriolanus would hang out was shortening. His time is consumed by the Hunger Games. Most of his time, his thoughts, and mind went to her. You understood why he couldn't talk to as often as you wanted, but a small part of your heart panged from the thought. Many thoughts rushed through your head, thinking that Lucy Gray would replace you as a seal upon his heart, you tried to wash them out, but couldn't. It was irrational to think that of your boyfriend, you wished you didn't believe too.

While from the darkened wing...

You tried to voice your thoughts to him but were met with a quiet stare. Your face was worried, and your heart was slowly crumbling. "Coriolanus, wait..please!' You exclaimed you cried out, but he kept on walking down the halls, before he turned to you, "Y/N, how can I..pay attention to the games, if you distracting me" That was the first time he raised his voice at him, your eyes widen, you felt your eyes getting glossy. It was the first time he ever raised his voice at you, "C-coryo, I'm just worried, please" You begged, he was getting irritated by you, "I just don't want to lose you" Your voice died out, your chest heaving, tears leaking onto your cheeks. Hearing his footsteps coming closer to you, his hands on your cheeks, "There is nothing going on with me and Lucy Gray, alright" He looked at you in the eyes, and your stomach dropped. Before he released it and walked down to the halls where the games were going to resume.

The music box played on...

Your heart beating in your chest, as you collapsed to the floor, Wanting to tear up but couldn't feel anything to let out. Your heart pumps a sad symphony as you place your hand on top of your chest, holding yourself close.

Sad little serenade...

You watched on your TV, your siblings, and your parents peering into the television. As you walked to the parlor room, looked at the television, looking at Lucy Gray being the last one alive in the games. Your heart jumped, feeling elated for Coriolanus and his victory being secured. You wanted to run to him, hug him, give him kisses on his cheeks, but the pang still ringing in your heart. Knowing that the seal of his love was won by another person, though it wasn't official, you still felt it.

Song of my heart's composing...

You went to the academy, going to your classes. You wanted to see Coriolanus, and hug him after his victory, waiting what felt like hours for you to go and run to him. Entering into the classroom and sitting down, looking to the side where Coriolanus was supposed to sit. It was weird, your dear Coryo. Would never missed any days of the academy anything, he always put his education first. You turned to your left, seeing Clemensia. Wasn't he his partner in class, "Um, excuse me. Have you seen Coriolanus" You asked, hoping for answers for yourself. She shook her head... wasn't it strange. The day after his win, he was magically gone. You needed answers...

I hear it still, and I always will...

The news hit you like a truck, Coriolanus volunteering his time in the military. it was odd, his goal, or dreams better to say, was graduating, and then going to a university, it didn't make sense at all why, he would go that route. He wouldn't do anything, he didn't tell you, right.

Best on the Bill...

You wrote letters, though time did pass

you still wrote letters to him, though you didn't send them, not knowing his direct location, but you hoped he was still alive, safe, and sound. Sending some prayers for him to come back, every day and night. Though you didn't give him a proper goodbye, you still felt you were entitled to do it.

A total of three years passed, you counted them. 365 days every year, waiting for him to come, maybe for you. But you just wanted to see him again.

Charade...

You heard a knock on your door and opened the door to see a matured Coriolanus at your door. Your heart dropped. It didn't feel real to you at all. You wanted to cry and hug him, but you kept yourself composed, looking him in the eyes, he didn't say anything. He offered you a dehorned, red rose. His appearance changed, his blond curls shortened, he was wearing a red suit and his face was stern, less gentle than you remembered. You took it, placing it in your heart, "I missed you" You whispered, feeling tears rolling down your cheeks.

But now, you are in his mess. Going out into the hall, as he waited for you, putting your hands around his, he turned to you, whispering into your ear, "You look beautiful" As you both walked into the awaiting people, waiting to see yours and his appearance.

Hearing the symphony die out, as you reached the shining light of the chandelier above.

[loveharlow]

SEVEN - 002

PAIRING ‧₊˚ JJ Maybank x Fem!Reader

SYNOPSIS‧₊˚[6.5k] based on 1x02.

WARNING(S)‧₊˚ swearing, mentions of parental neglect, mild violence, mentions of death/grief, disturbance of a graveyard (?)

NOW PLAYING‧₊˚

A/N‧₊˚ I've been wanting to do an OBX rewrite for a very long time so here it is, the first chapter from yours truly.

˗ˏˋ series masterlist ˎˊ˗

“DO YOU REALLY THINK BIG JOHN COULD STILL BE ALIVE?” Kiara’s slightly digitally distorted voice came from the other end of the line. Your phone was pressed between your ear and shoulder as you searched the hangers in your closet, bath towel wrapped snug around your frame and your hair thrown up into a bun, which was presenting more like a mess of damp strands.

“It doesn’t matter what we think, Kie,” You made clear, eyeing a cute shirt you thought you’d lost. “We should just be there for him.”

“Yeah… but what if we’re just feeding into a fantasy? Wouldn’t that make us bad friends if we weren’t honest with him?” You could hear her shuffling around on the other end of the phone as well, dresser drawers slamming occasionally. 

“Maybe you’re right.” You sighed, throwing your outfit onto your bed and heading back into the closet to find a bikini to wear underneath. Living in the Outer Banks meant you had a plethora to choose from. “But the way I see it? If it were my dad that went missing, I’d be looking for him too. I’d give anything to even have that small hope that my dad was still alive back, but I know he isn’t… so, I understand.”

“I didn’t think about it like that…” It was sad to hear her so conflicted, as if she’d said the wrong thing.

“Well, I wouldn’t expect you to. And I would never want you to be able to understand that feeling. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.” You reassured, putting the girl on speaker to toss the phone on your bed and slipping the bikini you picked out onto your frame and tying the respective knots. “That’s why if John B thinks his dad is alive and wants to look for him? That’s what we’re gonna do. Because alive or not, John B is like a brother to me and leaving him to do this alone is what would make us bad friends.”

“I guess you’re right…are you still meeting up with the guys today?”

“Just J and John B for right now. Pope said he’d be around later after helping his pops.” You told her, slipping an oversized shirt over top of the bikini, eyeing your closet shelves for a pair of shorts.

“Alright, I might swing by if my parents aren’t up my ass about work.” She complained. “Talk to you later.”

“Later.” Was all you said before the end-call sound rang out in the expanse of your bedroom.

A swift series of knocks met your closed door from the other side, you shouted for them to come in, assuming it was either your mother or your dog Marley’s tail hitting the wood. The 2-year-old golden retriever had a knack for sitting outside your bedroom door on the rare occasion that it was closed and she wasn’t inside.

The knob twisted and in walked your mother, adorned in her signature navy blue pencil skirt and blazer, still a half hour to spare before she had to head off to her office for work. Rebecca Reyes was the Outer Banks’ most notable and renowned lawyer. Even when you still lived on The Cut all those months ago, she was still the island's number one defender. Moving to Figure Eight and getting rich, almost overnight, just gave her the resources she needed. You still questioned where all the money spawned from, chopping it down to your father’s life insurance coming through.

But the bank said that could take a while and you never assumed it was enough to buy a house on Figure Eight. But that’s adult stuff, you thought to yourself.

“You got home late yesterday,” She began bluntly, adjusting the diamond bracelet on her wrist. The smell of her expensive perfume already wafting into your space. “Where were you?”

“Just out with John B and the others.” You said with a shrug, walking out the closet with a pair of sneakers in your hands as you undid the tied laces.

She hummed, eyeing the space around you as if she’d never seen it before. “Did you hear about the boat they’re searching for? Scooter Grubbs’ boat?”

You side eyed her quickly, not quick enough for her to catch however. “Yeah, the whole island is losing their minds over it.”

“You and your friends haven’t come across anything, have you?”

“...I doubt we’d have any luck coming across a Grady-White, mom. Especially after the hurricane. That boat could be oceans away for all we know.”

“Right.” She agreed, but she seemed far away. Off. Why’d she care about Scooter Grubbs’ boat? “And what’s this I hear about some kid with a gun at The Point?” Your heart dropped. 

“A gun?” You acted semi-shocked. “I don’t know, I wasn’t there.”

“Hm.” She droned. “Well, if you find anything don’t hesitate to tell me. Or Shoupe, for that matter. He said two out of towners showed up for the boat search yesterday, looked sketchy. So, be careful.”

You hummed in agreement, watching as the woman strutted out of the room without even a small ‘goodbye’. 

You and your mother were nowhere near as close as you used to be. Your father’s passing caused a rift between the two of you that seemed irreparable. You just felt like she had become so cold and closed off, nothing like the woman who used to bake every weekend or plan family nights in the backyard. She was more secretive, dismissive. You couldn’t even remember what her smile looked like. She’d changed so much. She used to hate Sheriff Shoupe, said he was a dirty cop who worked under the rich snobs of Figure Eight. Now, it’s like they’re business partners of some sort and she is a rich snob on Figure Eight. 

She even changed her last name back after your father died and wouldn’t tell you why. That was what made you feel the most alone. Rebecca Carter was now Rebecca Reyes but you were still Y/N Carter and your father would always be Owen Carter. 

It was like she was trying to erase him and everything they’d built together.

You hated to admit that sometimes you wondered what your father would think of the woman she’s become. If she would be as unrecognizable to him as she is to you.

YOU SAT IN THE BACK OF THE VAN, legs bent as your journal rested atop your thighs while you scribbled down your thoughts and recent events — namely the events of yesterday. You had one earbud in, your playlist on shuffle as you half-listened into JJ and John B’s conversation that was happening in the front seat, the bumpy ride making your handwriting a bit chicken scratch-ish.

“I don’t understand why you don’t at least try with Kiara,” JJ started, his heavy boots kicked up on the dashboard. “She clearly likes you. She’s like ‘Oh, John B!’. She’s sketchy about you diving and then she kissed you, bro.” The blonde continued. 

“She kissed me on the cheek. It’s not like we were makin’ out.” John B denied, brushing off the girl’s clear affections.

“Low-hanging fruit, bro.” JJ cut him off, the statement making you cringe in silence as you continued to scribble. “I see it in your eyes. You’re like ‘I kind of like that’.” JJ said in a mockingly low and seductive voice. 

“Okay, you want to talk about me?”

“Yeah, bro, I wanna talk about you and your lack of game.”

“My lack- my lack of game? Okay, what game do you have, JJ? ‘Cause I haven’t seen any improvement in your case.” JJ’s head whipped between you and the boy in the driver’s seat within milliseconds before he was swatting John B’s arm.

“C’mon, dude...” He warned in a hushed tone. John B just chuckled.

“That’s what I thought.”

Moments of silence passed before their voices were heard again. “I gotta admit, your dad’s compass in Scooter’s boat? Freaky, man…” JJ claimed, twirling the newfound object between his fingers.

“That’s why we’re going to talk to Ms. Lana and figure this whole thing out. She’s his wife, she has to know something.” John B told him. 

“And what makes you think she would want to talk to us?” You added, spooking the blonde boy in the passenger seat. 

“How long have you been listen-”

“I’m always listening.” You spoke bluntly, a blank expression on your face as you averted your attention from your journal to him. “Anyway,” you dismissed. “A group of teenagers showing up to ask her about her dead husband, the boat that the whole island is looking for, and the compass we found inside of said dead husband’s lost boat? She’ll either think we’re criminals, FBI, or crazy.”

“Well, this is our first resort.” John B replied, eyes looking at you through the rearview. “We gotta try.”

“KNOW WHAT THIS HOUSE LOOKS LIKE?” JJ said, leading the group of us to the front yard of Lana Grubbs’ residence. “Whoever lives here smokes too much weed.” He observed the small, shack-like house — the walls were overgrown with weeds, the yard looked like it’d never been cut, the place was a mess from the outside.

The three of you stopped, more like flinched, in your tracks when you heard glass-shattering from the inside of the house followed by crash after crash. It sounded like the outside of a rage-room or a gun range. 

“Maybe we should come back…” JJ advised, taking small steps back. But John B persisted, even as the two of you stood back in fear.

“No, no, shut up, JJ.” John B reprimanded absentmindedly. 

“Tell me where it is or I’ll fuck you up!” A deep, brassy voice boomed from the inside. The voice so authoritative it made you shudder, but it didn’t worry you as when a woman’s scream followed. You could only assume it was Ms. Lana. “I’ll sink you in the fucking-” A crash, louder than the rest, cut off the sentence, almost covering the sound of Ms. Lana’s blood-curling screech.

“You’re hurting me!”

John B beckoned JJ and you on with his hands, urging the both of you to move forward. Reluctantly, and after a weary glance at one another, you and JJ followed the brunette boy who was edging closer and closer to the side of the house. 

“Where the fuck is it?!”

“I don’t know!”

The three of you quickly dashed and ducked beneath the window seal on the only open window when you heard something hit the wall from the inside. You had just parted your lips to say that, just maybe, this was a bad idea. A terrible one, even, before a phrase yelled by the angry man inside had you shutting up.

“The compass wasn’t in the boat! Where is it, Lana?!”

“I don’t know!”

Your heart dropped as things continued to get thrown and slammed inside the house and you prayed those ‘things’ didn’t happen to be Lana. The paint and wood started to physically chip and fall off the walls outside, landing on top of the three of you crouched against the side of the house, wood particles falling into your eyes.

“Let’s get the hell out of here, man…” Another male voice commanded, followed by two pairs of heavy footsteps against the wooden floors inside. The three of you peeked around the corner to watch the two men disappear from the grounds through the front door, stomping angrily towards their boat. 

The same boat that had been shooting at you only 24 hours prior. 

“Those were the guys that shot at us.” JJ whisper-yelled. 

“Go back.” John B commanded, pushing you all back behind the safety of the wall so they wouldn’t see you all. Once the boat sped off, the three of you slowly tip-toed your way into the house. The sound of Lana’s cries getting louder and more heartbreaking the more you entered the house, shoes crunching on wood and glass. Photo frames and dishes all broken into smaller fractions and littered on the floor, holes in the walls, kitchen cabinets hanging on by a single hinge.

“Ms. Lana?” You called out, voice laced with concern, eyeing the broken windows before they found Ms. Lana’s curled up figure on the bathroom floor right below the sink that was hanging on by a singular pipe. “Oh my God.” You gasped, kneeling right next to the woman and laying a hand on her shoulder that caused her to flinch and shrink in on herself. 

She had tears running from her red, swollen eyes, curled up like someone’s child.

“She is tweakin’.”

“Shut up, JJ.” You hissed, shooting a mean glare at the insensitive blonde before turning your attention back to the feeble woman. “Do you need a doctor? We can call a doctor for you.” You assured, examining the multiple cuts adorning the woman’s face and arms.

“We can call the sheriff’s department-” John B was on the verge of suggesting before Lana cut him off frantically.

“No cops, please!”

“Mm, that’s not good. Let’s bounce.” JJ urged, weary of the woman’s persistence to avoid law enforcement. 

“You shouldn’t be here...” Lana cried, her eyes focused on John B, speaking as her lip quivered and her voice shook. 

The brunette’s face twisted, kneeling next to me to level his gaze with Ms. Lana’s. “Do you know those guys?”

“They were… looking for something.” Her voice wavered. 

“...Does it have anything to do with this?” John B asked her, pulling the compass from the back pocket of his board shorts. You and JJ shared a glance, both knowing John B probably shouldn’t have shown it to her. “This was my father’s and Scooter had it. Do you know why?”

Why did John B think showing a woman his father’s compass and saying he copped it from her dead husband was a good idea? You had no clue. Interrogation tactic? Impulsiveness? Stupidity? Lana’s eyes were wide and teary, she looked like she was seeing ghosts.

“Scooter didn’t have it, okay? Don’t tell anyone that you have that. They can’t know that you have that!”

Your lips pulled themselves into a thin line and you were starting to feel less bad for Lana and more suspicious of the distressed woman. Maybe she wasn’t as innocent as she appeared. She didn’t seem to be a threat but she clearly knew things that she shouldn’t. You nudged JB’s arm, whispering in his direction even though the woman could most likely still hear you. “We should go…”

“You’ve gotta get out of here!” Lana cried, fearful gaze eyeing the compass in John’s grasp.

“What do you know about the compass?” John B raised his voice over her frantic one, still questioning Lana as JJ pulled him back and the three of you stood to leave.

“Go! Get out!” Was the last thing you heard as the hysteric woman yelled at your retreating figures.

“SO, YOU SAW THE GUYS THAT SHOT AT US, RIGHT?” Pope asked with his head in his hands, stressed after listening to JJ’s dramatic rendition of events. The three of you had returned to The Chateau and summoned Kiara and Pope not too long after, the events of today on the tip of your tongue. “Did you get a good description of them? Anything we can bring to a police report?”

You shook your head along with JJ and John B as Kiara and Pope sighed at you all's lack of response. There was nothing special about these guys. Sure, they seemed out of place but that’s because nobody on the island knew them. That was one perk about living in Kildare, everyone knows everyone. But these weren’t leather jacket, ski-mask wearing criminals. They didn’t stick out like sore thumbs.

“That’s not very helpful…” Kiara huffed.

“But, but,” JJ started again. “They were burly. Like the men I’d see at my dad’s garage. You guys know he made cargo hides for drug smugglers...” He reminded you all carelessly. “I can tell you with full confidence that these guys? They’re square groupers.”

“Like Narcos square groupers?” Pope questioned with little amusement, his face dropping as he watched JJ smoke against the brick wall. 

“Like, Pablo Escobar square grouper?” You added on, just as skeptical from your seat on the patio floor, legs stretched in front of you and crossed over one another while you leaned on your elbows for support. JJ just nodded, blowing out smoke. 

“You guys, not everything is a kingpin movie.” Kie reprimanded from her place next to Pope on the patio furniture.

“Okay,” Pope started. “What does a square grouper look like? Hm? Because clearly, you don’t know what you’re talking about-”

“Okay, you weren’t there! I wasn’t taking little mental polaroids the entire time, dude! I was under duress!” JJ whined to which you and John B rolled your eyes.

“Why would they want the compass?” Kiara probed, leaning forward in her seated position, resting her forearms on her thighs.

“That thing’s a piece of shit, you could pawn it off for five bucks if you wanted to… No offense, John B.” Pope claimed honestly, watching as John B flicked the object open and stared at it longingly, paying no mind to the boy’s insult.

“Well, clearly it’s worth something.” You popped in. “Considering these guys are willing to kill for it.”

“...The office.” You all turned to the scruffy brunette. A silent question on everyone’s face. “My dad’s office.” John B continued, shooting up and walking inside The Chateau as you all scurried to follow, shooting one another confused glances. “He always kept the office locked ‘cause he was worried about his competitors stealing his Royal Merchant research. Remember?” He directed at you and JJ, looking back but still walking forward. “We used to laugh at him like he was actually going to find it. But now that he’s…gone, I just left it as he kept it.” He said despondently.

“Yeah. For when he gets back.” Kie backed him up with a light-tipped smile. Keys jangled as John B unlocked the room you hadn’t seen in years. Not since before Big John went missing. Before all of this.

“I’ve slept over here like six-hundred times and I’ve never seen this door opened.” Pope said aloud, eyeing the office like a museum. 

This was like being hit by a tidal-wave for you. And you’re sure it was the same for John B. You can remember the countless nights you’d slept over before and after Big John went missing. Before he went missing and you, JB, and JJ would peek inside just to watch him just write and type like his life depended on it. It even brought back memories of when your dad would stay a while after dropping you off to spend the night just to share beers in the backyard with Big John. 

The nights after his disappearance weren’t as sweet though. Sleeping in a group hug around John B after his dad went missing. Then your friends all slept in a group hug around you after your dad went missing. Then they slept in another group hug around you when your dad’s body was found, washed up on the shore for the entire island to see. With the plethora of events, The Chateau became a haunted house in your mind.

“Look,” John B said, pulling you out of your stupor. He’d taken a bulletin board down off of the walls that was decorated with paper scraps and old pictures. His index finger pointed to the photo at the very top, a sepia-like tint to it. “This was the original owner of the compass.”

The paper pinned against the photo read ‘Robert Q. Routledge. 1880 - 1920’. 

“There’s the lucky compass right there.” Kiara showed you all, pointing to the object clutched in the old man’s hand in the picture. You wouldn’t exactly call the compass lucky, though. And if it was before, it surely isn’t now.

“Actually, um. He was shot after he bought it…” John B informed. “Then the compass was shipped back to Henry.” He continued guiding you all through the timeline, pointing to the next picture. “Henry was killed in a crop-dusting accident when he had the compass.” You happened to look up at the exact same time as Pope, the two of you locking eyes with visible worry. “After he died, the compass was given to Stephen. Stephen had it when he died in Vietnam.” The boy ranted. “After that, Stephen passed the compass down to my dad.” 

“This is painting a very bad picture, JB…” You warned, hand on the back of your neck as your face twisted.

“Yeah, he has a death compass.” Pope deadpanned.

“I do not.” John B denied, rolling his eyes and sitting down in the nearest chair with the compass still in hand. “My dad used to talk about this compartment here.” He explained, fiddling with the article between his fingers. “Soldiers used to hide secret notes.” He twisted the back of it off, revealing a word scratched into the top. He sat up with surprise as he spoke. “...This is my dad’s handwriting.” 

Pope scoffed. “How can you know that?”

“He’s right.” You assured the doubtful male absentmindedly, squinting your eyes and craning your neck down to see the word written into the metal. “Big John had horrific handwriting and his R’s always had a point to them. I always used to think they looked like big-headed baby chicks, in a way. That’s definitely his handwriting.”

“Weird observation…but she’s right.” John B backed you up, his eyes going back to the compass. “Redfield…” He muttered. “What’s Redfield? Is it a clue?”

“A clue? C’mon that’s-” Pope began until you shot him a nasty glare, silently telling him to be helpful and supportive or shut up. His eyes widened as he gulped. “If it is a clue, m-maybe it’s an anagram?”

“Yes!” John B jumped up from his seat, beckoning you all to back up some. “Anagram. Perfect. You need paper.” He directed at Pope, eyeing scanning the cluttered space. Handing the boy an old, crinkled sheet of notebook paper, Pope got to work with the help of JJ and Kiara as John B and you scoured the desks for anything else of use.

Your ears were quick to pick up on the sound of an engine over the chatter of the brainiac bunch behind you. Eyes perking up to see a black truck pulling onto the yard.”...Guys?” You spoke, but not loud enough. “Guys!” You shushed them, all eyes turning to you. “Somebody’s here.”

The five of you crowded around the window, peeking through the blinds and peering through the dusted glass. Two males got out of the car and you recognized them immediately. “Those are the guys from The Marsh and Lana’s house.”

John B was quick to turn towards JJ. “Where’s the gun?”

“I don’t know-”

“Now you don’t have the gun? The one time we need the gun?” Kiara panicked.

“It was in my backpack and then I-...it’s on the porch.” JJ quickly realized, sighing before biting his lip out of frustration.

“Go. Go get it.” John B urged quietly but you were quick to step up, tugging the short sleeve of JJ’s shirt before he could open the door.

“No, no, we are not sending JJ out there to be pummeled by square troopers, square groupers, whatever they are-”

“We need the gun-” The bandana-wearing boy hissed.

“I don’t care. We stay put. We stay together.” You insisted. But JJ gently swiped your hand down and backed out of your reach, one hand up in surrender. “What’re you doing-”

“It’ll be quick, I swear. I’m like a ninja-”

“JJ.” You said simply, disappointed as you curled your fist in annoyance.

“I’ll be on my Batman shit.” He whispered before leaving the room quietly with the door cracked behind him, allowing you all to see him leave.

“John Routledge!” A country man’s voice boomed, causing JJ to turn around and slide his way back into the room quietly before he’d even made it two steps outside of the office. “C’mon out now!” JJ closed and locked the door as you all heard the pairs of footsteps enter The Chateau. The men began smashing and throwing things around just as they did Ms. Lana’s house. Was this their MO or something?

‘Window’ Kie mouthed, pointing to the window that led straight into the yard, towards the chicken coop and the surf shack. JJ and Pope rushed over to it as John B held down the door, which was just him standing against it with his hands above his head. JJ and Pope tried to lift the frame but it wouldn’t budge. Your face twisted in confusion, walking over to where the two boys were struggling and attempting to pull up the window seal yourself with no better luck.

“It’s painted shut.” You couldn’t help but smack your teeth, cursing under your breath as your eyes quickly scanned the room for something sharp as you patted the back of your shorts, feeling an object in your pocket. Digging your hand in to reveal a pen, the one you’d been using to journal that morning. You whispered for the guys to move before ejecting the pen and sliding it quickly along the seal to break it as quickly as possible. 

Suddenly, one of the square groupers began kicking the door down, John B running across the room.

“Hurry!” Kiara whispered.

“I’m going as fast as I can!” You hissed. When the seal was completely broken, you wasted no time in opening the window, being the first to jump down into the backyard and making a b-line for the coop. The five of you piled inside one by one, the space surprisingly big enough for five fully grown teenagers as you crouched in tense silence. Just then, you heard a shot ring out from the inside of the house, assuming the man shot the door down.

Everyone could hear everyone breathing, shaky breaths all throughout the small enclosure. And the roosters. One rooster would not stop crowing. You were hoping, praying the damn thing would stop making noise. It wasn’t long before the guys were seen leaving the house, carrying at least two crates of books and research each.

“Pope, shut him up.” JJ demanded, referring to the rooster next to Pope that was making the most noise.

“What am I supposed to do?”

“Pet it or something, I don’t know.” Kie cried. Suddenly , JJ got up and grabbed the rooster by its neck, pressing it into the ground until its neck audibly snapped and its clucking ceased. You couldn’t help but cringe and look away, the sight somehow prompting you to gag. JJ’s eyes met yours as if he was making sure you were okay, you giving him a sickly nod in return. One that wasn’t as reassuring as you hoped. Kie was crying silently and you didn’t miss the way John B grabbed her hand in comfort. 

“WHAT BETTER PLACE TO HIDE A MESSAGE THAN A FAMILY HEIRLOOM?” John B tried to muse from the driver’s seat of The Twinkie.

“Maybe somewhere more easily accessible.” You said bluntly, laying back on the floor of the van, your foot on Pope and head in JJ’s lap, Kiara in the passenger seat. “Like a hidden jewelry box compartment or a locked drawer. Not inside of a death compass on a dead man’s sunken boat.”

John B simply ignored you. “He had to know it was gonna get back to me, right?” He spoke hopefully, referring to his father. 

“It’s possible.” Kie agreed from the passenger seat next to him, not wholeheartedly however. 

“It could also be possible that you’re concocting wild theories to help deal with your sad feels- Ow!” Pope was interrupted when you kicked his knee, shooting him a glance that said ‘what the hell'. 

“You know how I process my sad feels,” JJ started, your eyes drifting to him as your head craned slightly back from its place atop his thighs. “Dank nugs and the stickiest of ickies.”

“Preach.” You agreed, dapping up the blonde boy.

“Look, I’m not concocting, okay?” John B nearly shouted in frustration. “My dad’s trying to give me a message.” 

“...If it helps you believe, John B.” Kiara tried softly. 

“I don’t need a therapy session. I’m not trippin’ out.” He dismissed the four of you. “My dad is missing, okay? Missing. You guys don’t know what it’s like to have the person closest to you vanish and have no idea what happened.”

Suddenly, the two pairs of eyes in the back of the van turned to you. You couldn’t help but curl in on yourself slightly. “Stop it.” You demanded, averting your eyes to the window, watching the palm trees pass by. You hated when they acted like you had to be shielded from things because of what happened to your dad. 

“It’s been almost a year.” Kiara nudged JB, letting it go. “But fine. What do you think the message is?”

“Redfield.” The brunette reiterated hopefully. “Redfield Lighthouse. My dad’s favorite place.”

THE LIGHTHOUSE LOOKED A BIT DIFFERENT THAN YOU REMEMBERED. It looked older, more rickety. You could swear it was leaning now. The five of you stood staring up at it before John B turned around to face JJ.

“You’re gonna post up out here and look for bogey’s. Alright?”

“Wait, why me?” JJ asked pitifully.

“...JJ, there are independent variables and dependent variables. You’re an independent variable-” Pope tried to reason.

“Shut up.” The blonde-haired boy dismissed with a snarl.

“We don’t know what you’re gonna do!” 

“Just shut up!”

“Listen to me,” John B broke the boys up, pointing an assertive finger. “Pope, you stand lookout with JJ. Y/N, you make sure they don’t rip each other’s heads off. If we get split up, we meet back at JJ’s house.” You watched as Kiara and John B hopped over the fence and onto the lighthouse property. You slid your back against a nearby tree, one earbud placed in your ear as you drummed your fingers against your thigh, playing with blades of grass between your fingers.

“I’m gonna work on my merit scholarship essay. I’m trying to keep felonies to a minimum.”

“All right, would you just shut up already?” JJ sassed, you rolling your eyes and scoffing at them both. A few beats passed before JJ spoke again. “They’re probably boning in there right now.”

“Jesus, JJ…” You breathed out.

“What? You don’t honestly believe they don’t have a thing for each other, do you?” He defended.

“Maybe you’re just jealous.” Pope offered from his place in the grass.

“Jealous? Of what?”

“Because John B’s trying to move in on Kie and you have a thing for her.” 

“Listen, dude,” JJ started with his hands out in front of him. “Kie’s hot and all but she’s a kook. I don’t see her like that.”

“That’s what they all say.” You sang playfully, causing JJ to whip around to face you. 

“Oh, really? And what about little miss pretty & popular?”

You visibly cringed. “Ew, don’t ever refer to me like that again.”

“You’re telling me you aren’t crushin’ on someone? No rich, polo-wearing kid swept you off your feet during you and Kie’s kook year?” He egged on.

“Knock it off, JJ.” Pope defended when he saw how your face fell at the mention of it. You hated when they brought it up. Technically Kie’s kook year was longer than yours, considering you’d joined her kook friend group when you moved to Figure Eight. That was an era of your life you’d love nothing more than to forget.

“Fine, fine,” He backed off, his hands thrown up in mock surrender as he backed some steps away. Just then, the three of your heads whipped to the dirt road behind you at the sound of police sirens. You snatched the earbud out of your ear and pocketed it, standing up from your place against the tree. They were clearly headed for the lighthouse.

“What do we do? Do we wait?” Pope asked frantically.

“We can’t, man, c’mon.” JJ urged, sprinting towards the van with you and Pope following close behind. He jumped into the driver’s seat, pulling off before you and Pope had even closed the side door completely. You could only have faith that your other two friends made it out okay.

  

 “NEXT TIME YOU END UP AT THE SHERIFF’S OFFICE, YOU CALL ME FIRST. DO YOU UNDERSTAND, JOHN BOOKER?” Your mother reprimanded the poor boy, her heels clacking against the pavement outside of the department. You didn’t expect a call from John B after you all had run from the lighthouse, coming from the Kildare County Sheriff’s Station from John B saying he and Kiara had been “arrested”. 

“Yes, ma’am.” He affirmed. By the time you’d arrived at the station, Kiara had apparently already left with her dad who’d refused to bail John B out as well, leaving the boy with only one other option. The three of you stopped in front of your mother’s car as she now turned to face the two of you.

“Shoupe already has enough to deal with. The sheriff’s office doesn’t need a couple of rowdy teenagers on their radar. I don’t know what you kids were doing up at the lighthouse that led to this, but drop it. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” You both blurted out simultaneously, your mother having a newfound knack for intimidating people. She didn’t hesitate to jump in her car and start the engine, giving one last look as a goodbye.

YOU WERE AT THE DOCKS WAITING ON JOHN B, SITTING ON THE WOOD AND SWINGING YOUR FEET. You’d gone with him when he realized it was time for him to work, an employee saying Ward was looking for him as soon as the pair of you had arrived. He was up on The Druther’s, Ward’s boat, talking to the man himself. You couldn’t tell what the conversation was from your seat on the docks, so you waited. It was only minutes before the boy himself came stomping down the marina, prompting you to get up and dust yourself off.

“Is everything okay-”

“I just got fired.” He blurted, not even making eye contact with you and he brushed past you. You stuttered at his passive nature, scurrying to follow behind him.

“What do you mean you just got fired?”

“Ward found out about the gear.” He scoffed, and even with his back to you as he breezed through the working people to leave the dock, you could almost feel his frustration. “I can’t believe her.” He muttered.

“Who? Who are you talking about, John B?” You soon got your answer as Sarah Cameron walked by, you and the girl making brief eye contact with a mutual snarl on both of your lips before her attention turned to John B, who she somehow saw after you. 

“Hey, John B.” She greeted, her hands full of paper bags that were filled to the brim with groceries, a large, brimmed hat on the top of her head. You weren’t surprised when he continued walking as you followed without a word to the girl, but she persisted. “That’s it?” Sarah scoffed. “Not a ‘hey, how you doin’’? Not a ‘kiss my ass’?”

You didn’t expect John B to turn around and swiftly walk over to the girl, getting all in her face. With the noise of the busy marina in the back, their close conversation became hushed but it was still audible enough.

“Your secret’s safe with me? Really?” Your friend pressed the girl. “I just got fired because of you. And I know you can’t imagine that but some people need jobs, so they can eat.” Nothing shocked you more than when he smacked the bag of goods from her arms, leaving Sarah stunned as fruits rolled in front of her sandals. Her jaw slack and eyes wide.

“What the fuck?” She hollered.

“You are exactly who I thought you were, Sarah Cameron.” He reprimanded, turning and leaving behind a stunned kook girl. Although, you would’ve paid money to see that again, it was such an odd interaction.

You knew he worked on Ward’s boat so he was bound to come across her but you weren’t aware they really talked. If you didn’t know either of them, you’d assume they were a high school couple arguing out in public.

The brunette brushed past you once again, taking his time and seemingly building up the courage to break into a run.

“Wh- John B!” You called from your place in the parking lot. “John B, where are you going?!” But it was no use as he simply left you behind and continued sprinting away. You figured you’d just give him some space to himself.

YOU’D RECONNECTED WITH POPE AND JJ SOON AFTER BEING LEFT IN THE DUST BY JOHN B, meeting them on the docks in The Cut. The three of you had been there for some hours, you helping Pope fix a generator while JJ smoked unhelpfully to the side when John B pulled up in The Twinkie.

He honked, beckoning the three of you into the van with a finger and none of you questioned what was happening or where you were going as you hopped into the rickety vehicle. You were mildly pissed about being left at The Marina but you got in nonetheless.

THE SUN HAD SET AND YOU ALL STILL HADN’T ARRIVED YET. John B briefly explained the destination and plan but you half-listened. You’d been driving for a long time, picking up Kiara along the way, with no clue as to where the five of you were going.

“Do you mind if I sit this one out?” JJ asked tiredly. “It’s been a long, weird day…”

“Look, I know I was wrong about the lighthouse.” John B acknowledged. “And wrong about everything else. But I was right about one thing — my dad is trying to tell me something.”

Just then you pulled up to a graveyard, the five of you piling out of the van with a flashlight each in your hand. “This place is scary.” Kie voiced. “John B, what are we doing?”

“You know how you’re trying to remember a song but you can’t remember who sings it?” He started. “Redfield. This whole time, I thought it was a place.” He explained as you all followed him further into the mess of graves and tombstones. “But it’s not.” He held the lantern in his hand up once you all stopped in front of a tomb, one of the tallest ones in the yard, revealing “REDFIELD” engraved in the stone. “It’s a person. My great-great-grandmother, Olivia Redfield. That was her maiden name.” He spoke longingly, looking up at the stone letters. “Help me with the door. C’mon.”

Pope stepped forward as the remaining three of you flashed your lights in the pair’s direction as they attempted and failed to push the tomb door open. 

“Are you pushing?” Pope said to the brunette.

“Yes, I’m pushing.” John B strained out. Then JJ was jumping into help but even with his addition, the boys had no luck opening the door. They all jumped back when a snake hissed, peeking its head out from a crack in the stone structure.

“Woah! That’s a moccasin, alright” JJ started, jumping back almost cartoonistically. “Ye-old cottonmouth. Death in tall grass. Roof! Roof!” JJ started barking at the snake. Sometimes, you questioned his sanity.

“JJ! Shut up!” You warned the erratic blonde. 

“You’re gonna wake the dead.” Pope slapped him on the shoulder, grimacing.

“Dude, they’re afraid of dogs. Everybody knows that.” He breathed out, straightening himself back out.

“Look, John,” Pope sighed, turning his attention back to John B. “We’re not gonna get in there, it’s not budging. We should probably just go.”

You were examining the tomb carefully, flashlight trailing the structure up and down before you noticed something. “I think I can get through.”

“...What?” John B spoke.

“You think you’re gonna fit through that hole?” Pope asked, worried. 

“I’ll do it.” You reassured them, ignoring their concerns. “Just help me up.” They all shuffled to help you up — Kiara and John B holding the vines away and to the sides while JJ and Pope intertwined their hands for you to use as a human step-stool. 

“What am I looking for?” You inquired, eyes fleeting to John B.

“You’ll know when you see it.” Your hands slapped your thighs. Helpful, you thought, but you didn’t ask anymore questions. You put your flashlight in between your teeth, like a dog carrying a bone before laying a hand on each of the boys shoulders, you put your foot over their connected hands and boosted yourself up. 

It was a tight squeeze but you made your way through, landing on your feet and removing the flashlight from your teeth. It took your eyes a minute to adjust, staring at the walls of the spooky space.

“You alive in there?” JJ called.

“Alive and kickin’.” You called back, aiming the flashlight everywhere, scanning over everything. But the space was much bigger than you thought and your one flashlight didn’t seem to be enough. “I need more light, please.”

“Gotcha’.” John B said, pushing his arm holding the lantern through the crack of the wall, illuminating the space by tenfold. And that light was just what you needed. 

“Oh my God…” You breathed out. John B may not have led you all on a goose-chase after all.

feedback is appreciated! thanks for reading.

SVN Taglist; (let me know if you'd like to be added!) @esquivelbianca @fallingwallsh @calmoistorm

©loveharlow.

[your-gf-lucy]

calm in chaos

this idea has been stuck in my head for a while so i decided to write it out also i think this is such a cute idea. everyone thank @m3ntallyunstable34 for telling me to write this i srsly would not have otherwise. also im unaware of the differences between panic attacks and anxiety attacks but I used to have panic attacks as a child bc of traumatic stuff so idk

pairing: theodore nott x gn!reader

warnings: panic attacks, angst (ish), fluff, hurt comfort, not proof read, my writing lol and that's about it

summary: you get reminded of some not so pleasant memories and the one person you never expected to even know of your existence helps you get through it.

call me crazy but i really like this one 🤭🤭

The attack wasn't a pleasant memory. Well, of course it wasn't. It fucked you up so bad that there wasn't a day that went by where you didn't see his face in your nightmares. He who almost killed you. He who lied to you. He who was called Voldemort.

Sure, being reminded of it always ruined your day, but the extremity of what happened today because of that memory fucked you up even more.

You were sitting down in the library doing your work until it had gotten dark. Your friends had left the library to go to their respective house parties. You couldn't be bothered to go what with all the assignments you had piled up that you had to work on. You were alone and it was quiet. Everything was alright. You were exhausted so you started to pack away. Everything was alright. You got up to walk to your dorm. Everything was alright.

And then it just wasn't.

You closed your eyes for a brief second and then you saw his face. And just like that all the concealed emotions were revealed.

Your body was racked with fear and the more you tried not to think about it, the more vivid the memories became. You tried to control them, tried to keep your emotions at bay but eventually, you stopped trying to fight it.

Your breathing became unsteady. Now was the worst possible time for a panic attack. All your friends were at parties and you had no one to help distract you.

Fuck.

You didn't have much time. You rushed up the stairs to the astronomy tower desperate for the slightest hint of fresh air. You stumbled into the astronomy tower just in time. Your breath was heavy, it was getting really hard to breathe.

Your body started shaking. The frozen air didn't help the shivering.

Fuck.

You really needed a friend, or even just a simple, pleasant distraction. You tried to breathe in, tried to calm yourself down but nothing seemed to help. You were going to give up.

You knew the panic attack would win. You knew he would win.

And just as you were about to give up, you felt a hand on yours.

"Hey, you okay?" you heard a voice from your left side. Turning to your left, you saw a tall body towering over you. Theodore Nott.

You knew him. Everyone knew him. Everyone wanted him. He didn't seem like the type of person to give anyone attention. Especially not you.

Yet here he was, your knight in shining armour. Talking to you. Looking at you. Caring for you.

It had been a long time since you had felt like someone cared for you. You had friends, sure, but you were never really close with them. You knew they'd leave you dead if it set them apart. You never felt as close to them as you felt with Theo at this moment. You'd never talked to him, but he was attractive and even you couldn't deny that..

You weren't even sure if he knew your name.

"Are you having a panic attack?" He repeated.

"Yeah, yeah- i- sorry- h-how do you know?" You said in between short breaths. You didn't want to be so vulnerable around him. You figured he'd make fun of you with his friends.

"Well you not being able to breathe is definitely a sign." Theo chuckled.

"Oh yeah, i guess" you smiled slightly.

"Okay, who's your least favourite professor?" Theo asked.

What? You were having a panic attack and he was concerned who your least favourite professor was? priorities

"Oh erm it's got to be umbridge." You replied.

"Oh my, that woman is a nightmare. Why do you hate her so much?" Theo continued.

"She's annoying. She likes to believe she's in power. That she's the best. But in reality, she's a stuck-up, irritating try-hard who is only a teacher so she can shout at children." You replied.

"Oh, I couldn't agree with you more," Theo replied. "Feeling better?"

You seemed to have been so occupied in insulting your defence against the dark arts teacher you seemed to have forgotten about your panic attack. Your breathing was now much more steady and your body didn't seem to shake as much.

He extended his hand to grasp yours, but before he could, you pressed yourself against his frame, embracing him tightly. Your body was racked with sobs. He was shocked at your response but quickly regained his composure and pulled you in even tighter.

"Shh" he whispered in your ear. "You'll be okay"

It was mostly quiet except for when he whispered comforting affirmations in your ear.

After a couple of minutes of you staying like this, your body completely stopped shaking and you felt stronger like it wasn't just you against the world anymore. It felt like you had someone who cared about you. Someone who was there for you. Someone who listened to you.

"Thank you. Really. I'm sure i would've passed out if it weren't for you." You smiled at him.

"It's alright." He replied.

"How did you know all this?" you asked

"What do you mean?" he questioned looking at you quizzically.

"You knew what to do when i had the panic attack. How?" you repeated.

"I have them. My mum taught me how to deal with them before she erm." Theo explained stopping abruptly at the end.

"Oh wow erm sorry"

"No you're good." He replied.

"Well thanks again, I owe you one." You said.

"No problem y/n." He replied.

He knew your name.

Theodore Fucking Nott knew your name.

[writingbynova]

Nanami Kento

⊹ 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 ⊹ : Nanami x fem!reader - explicit content; minors DNI - pwp (porn with plot)- inexperienced Nanami - missionary - size difference - [un]protected sex - vanilla sex - multiple orgasms - pet names (darling, baby) - slight praise - established relationship - guiding - reassurance (let me know if I missed any tags)

Word count: ~1.7k

What are the prime pillars of a relationship? Communication, Trust, Confidence, Boundaries, Honesty. You and Nanami had all of those, but how long could you really make it with a boyfriend that has never, ever, touched you?

You and Kento have been together for almost two months now. Living together is nice, your schedules match together, he's a nice boyfriend, actually he's the best you could ever ask for, gentle, caring, handsome, reliable.

He cooks, cleans, takes you out, listens to you. He is absolutely perfect, or almost. See, Nanami Kento is a gentle giant, 6'0ft tall, muscular, very muscular. But as sweet as a child, would never hurt anyone anything not even a bug.

And more than anything he was scared, absolutely terrified at the idea of ever hurting the people he loved the most which turned out to be...you. And so he had never touched you. You lived together, spent time together, slept together but when it came to intercourse, to touching you, to sharing pleasure, he always had an excuse, he didn't mean to starve you, he longed to give you just want you wanted, he just never knew how to.

You knew he didn't have a lot of experience, he had told you prior to you starting to date him.. but he never went further than a kiss, even that got him anxious, his hands would tremble and sweat, he'd be hesitant of holding your waist while you'd be pulling on his shirt and scratching him. And your face, oh he touched your face with unmatchable care, like you were porcelain to him, a treasure. You didn't force him, you'd never, but they say communications is key so...

"Ken, can we talk?" You asked sitting in the chair across from him.

His eyes lifted up to look at you, you could already sense his stress, "Uh yes of course, is everything okay ?" Worry being obviously present in his voice

"Yes, yes of course I just had to get something off my chest"

"Okay... You're scaring me but go ahead"

"Kento, we've been together for what 2-3 months...I really want us to spend the rest of our lives together, truly, but...-"

"You want us to break up ? I won't blame you if that's the case, I respect your decision, I just don't know why I thought things between us were—" he started ranting

"What ? No no," you laughed, panicked "Kento, don't ever think something like that, I'd never leave you. Gun to my head, we're together forever"

He sighed "I'm sorry I'm just very anxious these days...what did you want to say?"

"Kento, we've never, you know.. we've never had intimacy together, and I really really want you, I feel like this is the next step...and I heard it helps with anxiousness"

His eyes widened, "I guess we could try, I just don't want to hurt you" he muttered

"Don't worry ken— this is trial and error, plus you could never hurt me, you should be scared of me hurting you." You laughed.

You dragged him to the bedroom, his face already flushed a light pink were you really that scary to fuck ? Anyway, you sat him on the bed while removing your shirt and throwing it to the side. His eyes went wide looking at you "Come on Ken you're about to see me naked, this is nothing" you leaned down and kissed him, your hands unbuttoning his shirt with ease, he surely wasn't used to it because he froze, this wasn't new though, he just really wasn't to being touched with such, non chalenge. You threw his shirt in the direction yours went. "See ken, this is your chest, you said pressing your hand on his large pecs, and these..you guided his hands to your boobs. These are mines, or ours if you want. He avoided your gaze like the plague "w-what ?" You giggled at his astonishment "you're cute when you're flustered Kento, I'm gonna guide you okay ? Just go with the flow, I'd never hurt you, if you don't like something just tell me to stop, okay?" He simply nodded, his jaw clenching as you got down on your knees, pulling his pants down to his ankles.

His cock was pressing against his boxer, you could tell he was begging for relief. "What do you do when you're hard ken ? Do you touch yourself?" You could tell that question took him aback, such a cutie.

"Uh... fuck this is embarrassing.. I just take a cold shower or wait for it to settle" he admitted looking away, defeated.

"Oh...You're definitely going to like this then..." You pulled his length out of his boxer, his tip was a reddish color, begging for release. You had rarely ever seen him before and he was a sight to see, length longer than the size of your hand, girth perfectly sized for your mouth. You didn't waste a second, your mouth wrapped around him, bobbing your head up and down, your tongue teasing and licking on his tip. His moans and whine were the perfect encouragement to you, high pitched, he was extremely sensible, coming from a man like him this was certainly unusual. His hand groped on the sheets beside him,

He threw his head back, choked out moans escaping his throat, his cock twitching in your mouth, you lapped around him like your life depended on it, "baby I- need you to, oh fuck."

You couldn't keep your eyes off him, you'd wink at him while taking him entirely, when his eyes gazed upon your face. "Oh fuck that feels...fuck, feels good, so good." Hearing him aroused you to lengths, you could feel your pussy throbbing desperately at the thought of him inside you.

His whimpers became more and more desperate as your speed intensified. Your hand slipped though your panties, making circular motion on your deprived clit. "Ah, babe, I think fuck, I need to, oh shit" he couldn't finish his sentence before you felt his thick load spraying your mouth white. His eyes were locked on you, his face bright pink., his mouth partly opened.

You only looked at him and swallowed. His eyes went wide, like he just saw a ghost "Wha- I-, did you ? Swallow that ?" He asked, shocked, you got up front your knees "Lay on the bed, and yes I swallowed, you taste pretty good"

Did he ever touch himself even ? His inexperience was unique, he looked away, shy, and did as you asked, laying on the bed, his head resting on the pillows, you crawled onto him, displaying a devilish smile. You leaned over to him and slowly guided his cock to your entrance, he only watched, absolutely mesmerized by your actions. "mhm I love how pliant you are" You pushed his tip in, your pussy already clenching around him, you hadn't had sex in a while, and never with him, the more you slipped down on him the more your voice grew, whining and crying the filthiest noise ever. He tried to concentrate but his eyes just kept rolling back as you throbbed around him, squeezing him before you even started moving.

You might have both lost your minds, you were laying on his chest, you had greatly underestimated your ability at taking someone his size and he had greatly underestimated how good and relaxed that would make him feel. His cock was stretching you, each and every movement even the slightest, was close to sending you over the edge. Him on the other hand was in total bliss. "Babe, I don't know if, fuck, have I been Missing out on this all along? , you're, oh fuck, making, me, mhm, crazy" his moans were sending waves straight between your thighs, You slowly started moving up and down his cock, moaning and whining his name along the way. His hand rested on your hips, controlling your rhythm, he might have just lost his mind, his eyes rolled back "fuck, fuck fuckk please, please baby, don't stop"

You could feel his orgasm coming in. You rocked your hips faster, up and down his cock sending you to bliss, he was unawarely hitting all your spots, his length was pressing into your g-spot, if bliss wasn't enough, this was, you could feel his loads, filling you. "Fuck, oh fuck, im gonna cum, oh fuck" you were throbbing around his girth, you threw your head back. His tip still rubbing your special spot, he arms carried you off him, making you whine, desperately. He switched places with you, trapping you underneath his large figure. "Do you think I could... You know..try?"

You looked down only to see the way the base of his cock was covered by a thick stretchy white liquid, covering you, you bobbed you head mechanically at his thrust's rhythm, seems like he was already getting the hang of it. His face was slower than your but even more twisting, the feeling of him sinking into you had your mind spiralling in all kinds of directions, You could tell he felt the same, groaning and grunting at the feeling of you contracting around him. You tipped his chin for him to look at you "Ken, ngh I need you to, fuck, need you to cum, can you do that ?"

You eyes rolled back, his pace intensified, relentlessly fucking you into the mattress. He listened to the filthy cries you made "fuck, j-ust, just like that Ken, mhm you're doing so good— wanna cum, I'm, so fuck—ing close" he repositioned and grabbed your hips, pulling you to him, his dick rubbed against your walls, faster than before, "does that make you feel good love ?" He groaned, your brain processes an answer but your mouth ? Oh your mouth did not care for it, chanting his name was the priority. You felt your climax reach you, your eyes rolled back and you just lost yourself, moaning his name repeatedly. His thrusts slowed down, allowing you to catch your breath. "Youre make me feel so fucking good baby just let me use you a little bit uh ? You make me feel so good, so fucking good, need to fuck your pussy a lil more" you nodded at his words, truly your ears heard what he said but your brain ? Oh your brain was away. His hips started slamming into you, ripping filthy cries from your mouth. "I know, mhm, I know it feels good baby, I feel the exact same baby" he whispered, his voice was shaky, although you didn't really know because your mind was far away. His length was sending you over the edge repeatedly. "Ah fuck, fuck, fuckkkkk, there we go" his said panting. He slowly dragged himself out of you, your lower abdomens covered in the results of your activity, before he collapsed next to you.

"Think I wanna do this everyday" he whispered

"well.. I still have to teach you some stuff" you muttered back, falling asleep in his arms.

(I'm having a huge writers block at the moment so this is mid sorry ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ)

Ty so so so much for all the notes on my last post I love y'all ♡♡

[starkwlkr]

Hiiii! So I do not know if you are making requests but if you are doing can do: Charles x Reader where she is a medical student and will do an internship in formula one, Charles does not like her much until he gets hurt and have to take care of her which makes the two approach

kiss with a fist | charles leclerc

warnings: needles and blood mentions and charles being an asshole <3

Y/n was nervous. She was starting her new internship with none other than F1. She watched a couple of races, but she wasn’t a die hard fan. But she wasn’t here to watch men drive in circles, she was here to work.

When she first arrived to the paddock, she was already making enemies. She didn’t mean to, but a certain Ferrari driver had woken up on the wrong side of the bed that morning. Y/n bumped into Charles, nearly dropping his hot coffee on himself.

“I’m sorry! The photographer was backing up and I-”

“Do you not watch where you’re going? There’s all this space around you.” Charles groaned as he dropped his coffee into a trash can. “What? You want an autograph?”

Y/n rolled her eyes. “Not everyone wants your autograph. And I said I was sorry. By the way, I’m more of a Red Bull fan.” She really didn’t know anything about Red Bull to be honest. You could have someone explain every single detail of f1 and she still wouldn’t understand. All she knew was that Red Bull probably had more haters than supporters.

She quickly left Charles and walked to her boss’ office where she was supposed to meet him. Y/n was already wishing the day was over so she could go back home and bury herself in her blankets after her interaction with Charles, but she had a long day ahead of her.

“Charles Leclerc crashes into the barrier!”

Y/n watched from a monitor as Charles’ Ferrari crashed. The replay kept on going, sort of a reminder to the Ferrari fans that this season wasn’t going their way. Charles stumbled out of his car, almost tripping over his feet.

“He’s okay, right?” Y/n asked her boss. Sure, he was an asshole to her that morning, but she would never wish for someone to get injured.

“Yeah, I got confirmation that Leclerc is fine. Have you met him yet?”

“Sort of. Had to leave before I could even get an autograph.” She said sarcastically, but her boss didn’t pick it up.

“I’m sure you’ll get one.”

Yeah, no.

After the race, Y/n was going through the piles of paperwork she was told to do. She was writing down on her clipboard when she heard a knock on the door. She figured it was her boss or someone else other than Charles Leclerc.

“Yes?” She looked up to see the driver. “Oh. Finally brought me an autograph?” She went back to writing in her clipboard.

“No, someone made me realize that not everyone wants my autograph. I was just wondering if you have time to check if I’m dying.” He said casually.

Y/n dropped her pen and looked at him, wondering if he was serious or not. “Check if you’re dying?”

“Yeah, I crashed today. My head is hurting, I think I might pass out. I’m not dying, right?” Charles explained.

“Fine, I’ll check. Sit down.” Y/n pointed to the examination table next to the desk she was currently using. Charles followed her instructions and sat on the examination table.

“Are you going to give me a shot? Because I hate needles. And sometimes I get weirded out if I see my own blood.” Charles admitted.

“Why would I give you a shot when your head is hurting? I can if you want me to.” Y/n said, standing In front of Charles.

“Nope, I am good.”

“Great. So just let me check if you’re dying real quick.”

Before Y/n could even do anything, Charles spoke up. “My head actually doesnt hurt at all. I lied, I wanted to come here to apologize for this morning.”

“Did your mom find out and made you come apologize?”

“No, my mother doesn’t know but if she did she would pull my ear and tell me to treat women with respect. And I do treat women with respect, but I’ve been having a bad…” Charles sighed and looked down.

“Day?” Y/n guessed.

“Season actually. Point is, I shouldn’t have been mean to you and I’m sorry and i understand if you don’t accept my apology. If I were you, I wouldn’t.” Charles nodded and got off the examination table. Before he could leave, Y/n called his name making him turn around to face her.

“You forgot your lollipop. I have this thing where I give my patients a lollipop no matter what age they are so here,” Y/n handed Charles a red lollipop. “You’re still an asshole, just the sweet kind.”

“Was that intentional? The sweet comment then you giving me a lollipop?” He chuckled as he took the candy.

“Just take the damn lollipop, Leclerc, or I will give you a shot.”