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zenosanalytic · 3 years ago

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Growing Up is Hard; It’s Hard and Nobody Understands

So I noticed netflix has Neon Genesis Evangelion up last week and started watching it front to back for the first time ever(this happens to have coincided with me being in a down-mood for your edification, dear readers u_u), finished it today, REALLY liked it, and I wanted to try my hand at explaining what the hell is even going on in NGE cuz it actl seemed super-clear to me(a person who has been consuming NGE analysis and post-NGE media for literally 25 years) u_u

Surface Plot; Or NERV: What the Hell Is It?

I’ll try to make this as brief as possible: An organization of super-wealthy individuals calling itself Seele(looking this up, it means soul in german) wants to possess the power of God. The final third or so of the series is clear on this; it’s all about power. Ikari Yui, a geneticist, is recruited by this organization, and her husband Gendo(having taken her name which says a LOT given typical Japanese practice) comes with her. In seeking out this power, they discover a hollow sphere underneath Antarctica(”The White Moon”), send an expedition there under the guise of the UN, encounter an entity with this power which they label an “Angel”, and do SOMETHING which prompts it to explode the continent flooding the earth and killing half the population(that Gendo left beforehand implies this may have been intentional, or that a bad outcome to Seele’s approach was easy to predict, tho in typical Gendo fashion, his is the only ass he cared to save).

Afterwards Seele blame the scientists for this outcome and send Gendo on a salvage mission which recovers both remains of the Angel, now dubbed “Adam”, and a device they dub “the spear of Longinus”. Seele creates Gehirn to study these remains for practical use; they clone “Adam” and dub the result Evas(Eves). Having cloned them, they now need a way to use and control them as the Evas are non-responsive. They hit on the idea of injecting people into them via the Entry Plug system, presumably to act as a brain. The first person to try this, Ikari Yui, was absorbed by the Eva(Unit 01); the second(Soryu Kyoko Zeppelin; Asuka’s mother) was partially psychologically absorbed by Unit 02, psychologically and mentally injured by this, institutionalized, abandoned by her shit USian husband Langley who remarried to her LEAD DOCTOR, and eventual kills herself in a hanging which Asuka either is the first to discover or, given her memories of promising to die with her/begging her not to do it, was present for. An important thing to note about this: Shinji and Asuka’s ability to sync with their Evas comes from the fact that their mothers are PART of their Eva’s identity, and all of their classmates are potential pilot-candidates. The implication here is that Seele KNEW this happened when you put adults into an Angel, and they KEPT DOING IT ANYWAY to create more pilots, but there’s no confirmation of that in series.

After the attempt at human adult control fails, Gendo combines Yui’s DNA with Adam’s and creates Rei. At the same time he is doing this another team, under Akagi Naoko, is developing Magi, a biomechanical computer for simulating the human mind(again: certain implication to this re: Evas though the series never says anything). Naoko is romantically interested in Gendo, and they start getting together(Gendo’s too much of an asshole to be said to date, I think). After Rei, a toddler, tells her Gendo calls her an “old woman” in private, not realizing this is insulting, Naoko kills her, then kills herself out of shame over having MURDERED A CHILD, and Gehirn is folded into a new organization, NERV, which Gendo is put in charge of. Rei forms the basis of the second attempt at controlling the Evas; child-pilots.

How they use Rei for this I’m not exactly sure. It could be because Rei is cloned from Yui(she easily syncs with Unit 01 before Shinji bonds with it completely), or because she’s part Angel via her Adam element(Kaworu says Angels merge with one another easily and naturally), or it could be they did something with Rei I’s corpse and Unit 00(I dont see how as it seems to require a LIVE pilot). Regardless, she is raised to be the pilot for 00, the prototype. MUCH later, when the rest of the Angels finally decide to come looking for Adam, Shinji is called in, and after his success Asuka(who like Rei and unlike Shinji has been training to pilot her whole life) is called to Nerv headquarters(under Japan, in the “Black Moon”; a second spherical hollow where they found another Angel they call Lilith) too.

Regardless the child-pilots are only a step in Nerv and Seele’s plans, as Rei is ALSO the template for the Dummy Plug system, the final step in complete control of Eva units. To put it simply, the Dummy Plugs are Rei-clones without her personality or memories, and will just do whatever the heck they’re ordered to. At least once during the series(and I’d argue two, possibly three times) Rei dies and is replaced by one of these clones through some process, which involves what looks like a pre 00 Eva’s spine and probably a Magi-like backup, which transfers her personality and memories into the new body.

So what is Nerv? Well it’s hard to say EXACTLY because Gendo is in some sort of conflict with Seele(and I want to keep my watches of End of Evangelion out of this post; to focus entirely on JUST NGE itself) and Nerv IS Gendo, but as the series states repeatedly it’s an attempt to control the future of humanity by controlling what they call “the power of god” which, given that it’s what most distinguishes the “Angels”, is the AT, or “Absolute Terror”, Field. What is the AT Field? It’s a field that can make or unmake any kind of matter or energy from basically nothing, and it also seems to have a strong tie to what you could call the Ego; to desires and sense-of-self. An AT Field gets stronger when the person generating it is experiencing powerful emotions; Confidence, sure, but also Fear, Abandonment, the Will to Live, and Anger.

That last bit is very important. Why? Strong AT Field effects require a powerful emotional motivation in the pilot combined with high sync-rates with the Eva(basically a lobotomized Angel-clone) generating the Field. The three pilots we meet, the Strongest candidates, are all exceedingly traumatized people, and Gendo is the direct cause of the trauma of two of them. At no point in the series is Gendo ever a good father to Shinji, he is CONSTANTLY unreasonable, neglectful, and cruel to him; he’s kinder to Rei but at the same time her loneliness, the state of her “home”, and her lack of self worth shows that he rarely interacts with her outside of missions or explains what’s going on beyond bald facts; and he COMPLETELY ignores Asuka, a deeply lonely child with a history of abandonment and close brushes with death; he even delegates bumping her from the program. This point is important because it’s important to recognize that Gendo is a bad dad on PURPOSE; that he instrumentalizes his bad dadness to traumatize Shinji(and Rei and Asuka, though sadly the series doesn’t focus on them enough for us to see much) as much as he can, because he thinks that trauma, that emotional instability and anger, MAKES SHINJI A MORE USEFUL PILOT; ie lets him generate more powerful AT Fields. This is never said clearly, but it’s clearly what’s going on as forcing Unit 01(and thus Shinji) into awful, heartbreaking, life-threatening situations is vital to his plan. Gendo’s a piece of shit, and I want ppl to recognize just HOW BIG a piece of shit he is, because I feel this powerfully.

And for what? For Power. To be “God”. To get the highest numbers. To generate the MOST Invincible Invincibility Shield. For Ridiculous, Absurd, Childish reasons. For, you know, the same reasons rich and powerful people do all the fucked up shit they do in the real world where giant magic robots thankfully DONT exist.

And how do they plan to do this? Through “Human Instrumentation”, which will literally kill everyone by turning them all into goo.

Metaplot; Or “SHINJI! Don’t Get in that Robot!!”

So, maybe this is just because(as said previously) I’ve been reading NGE Analysis and consuming media which NGE heavily inspired for ~25 years, but I think it’s old hat at this point to note that Neon Genesis Evangelion is ALSO an allegory for becoming an adult, centered on Shinji. However, it’s just really SO on the nose in this, so PERFECT as such a narrative, that I want to run through it real quick. Also: A Cruel Angel’s Thesis is basically a thesis-statement for this series; please check out the lyrics.

So Shinji is living under the guardianship of a teacher(yup: this series even takes a swing at how our society uses schools to warehouse kids so their parents can waste their lives producing “Value” instead of raising them), when the shitty dad that abandoned him decides he has a use for him after all and calls him up.

On meeting with a child he has not seen SINCE HE WAS A TODDLER LITERALLY ABANDONED HIM ON THE STREET WHEN HIS MOTHER DIED he immediately ambushes him with the command that he get in a huge body(that he grow up) to do what? Whatever Gendo tells him to, but specifically: commit acts of violence for Gendo and Seele’s profit. He tells him this will protect people; meanwhile doing it destroys those peoples’ literal homes. The rest of the series is a series of monotonous, incomprehensible “Tests” judging his, and his peers, worthiness for approval and affection on the basis of how well they can use those giant bodies to do what Gendo tells them(so: capitalist work), punctuated by unpredictable, brutal, traumatizing, and physically dangerous events(so: capitalist work). Every friend, and the one lover, he meets, he is placed in unnecessary, destructive competition with and, when they are male, forced to attack and(in the case of the one lover, Kaworu) kill them; this last comment on homophobia is so stark and obvs I don’t even feel like you can CALL it subtext, even IF it plays out over mostly a single episode(honestly this plotline should have been given more time). And all the time they’re doing this, they must ALSO continue going to school and maintaining the front that they’re happy smiley Heroes, completely normal and not traumatized at all, and Nerv and the government that lets them run this city is a great and wonderful organization. Is this not what becoming an adult, over your teens and 20s, feels like?

And then there’s Seele and Nerv. Able to move state governments as they wish, Seele CAUSED Second Impact(Global Warming). By not returning Adam’s remains, they’re CAUSING the Angel attacks on Nerv meant to retrieve them(the threat of Human extinction). The Angels eventually begin trying to communicate and Nerv’s response? Destroy them before they can; blow up the Evas(and their pilots) if they succeed. And to top it all off Seele and Nerv are actually trying to CAUSE the very extinction(Third Impact) they claim to be preventing! Seele and Nerv are just SUCH good metaphors for capitalism in our modern day.

The transwoman reading of Shinji also seems pretty dang strong to me, though I’ll only deal with it shallowly. Shinji is the only “male” of all the pilots. Outside of command and security, most Nerv staff are women. Being an Eva pilot, being Nerv staff, is marked as “feminine”, and Shinji is an Eva pilot; is a Nerv staffer. The body he gets into, Unit 01, acts as a metaphor for the large, imposing, masculine body he’s expected to have as an adult “man”, yet it’s also spiritually his mom -feminine- and his ability to use it is tied DIRECTLY with his ability to “Sync” with that spirit; with his ease and comfort being feminine. Even at the level of mere aesthetics, Shinji’s plugsuit makes him appear to have breasts! Going a bit deeper, he initially relates to the women around him by relating to their gender. He’s most at ease with Rei because of the personality traits she shares with him which, we know from his gender-policing of Misato from earlier in the series, are traits he considers feminine(ie: he doesn’t feel like Misato has them, so he thinks she’s being a woman “wrong” and gets oddly offended by this in a way that really feels more about him than her). Asuka is constantly expressing her frustration with him for not “being a man”, ie, for being “feminine” in her eyes, and he isn’t really bothered by it(her calling him an idiot seems to stick much more firmly). Misato and Shinji establish a modus vevendi when she accepts him as he is, allowing him to do the household chores and to cook; he’s comfortable and happy when accepted into roles his culture considers feminine, while most of the series is him bucking AGAINST the masculinity forced on him by Nerv, his father, and others. Again: this is a very surface-level engagement with the subject, but even at that shallow level I feel like the case for reading Shinji as a transwoman is pretty solid.

Dislikes

It’s not a perfect series by any means of course.

There’s allot of dialogue that’s pure 90s nonsense, though the series mostly includes it only to shoot it down.

Like I said above, I don’t think Rei and Asuka really get the time or attention they deserve. In general the series treatment of women is ...Weird... especially around the issue of sex. It’s really strange; in many ways it’s far better than most anime(spcl from that period) on this. Women are ACTUAL PEOPLE with psychology, opinions, and pasts; they’re allowed to have emotions of their own, and struggles, and to be damn competent; they are independent and their own selves rather than accessories or “prizes” to men. But on the issue of feminine sexuality it just gets suddenly so weird in this very particular old-school misogynist way. Like: it treats women’s attraction and reactions TO relationships as something devoid of and impenetrable to reason, without belittling the emotions(the desire and hurt) behind those reactions. That’s the only way I can describe it, and it’s so strange to see something that is both so insulting and sympathetic at once. Oh, and the Akagis in particular are done super-dirty for seemingly no reason I can see, tho I can guess, and Akagi Ritsuki is CLEARLY a lesbian(possibly bi lesbian) and also Rose Lalonde(srsl; her Deal should have been an unrequited, unspoken crush on Misato. They openly dealt with queerness re: Kaworu and Shinji they could have done it here too).

The Kaworu storyline should have been a series of episodes or even developed from the start with him as another pilot(maybe replace Toji with him), though they’d have to tone down his weirdness, at least at the start. A deeper dive on Shinji’s sexuality(honestly his attraction to Kaworu is SO much more immediate and believable than anything we see with him and Asuka, which there is basically nothing of beyond the ep where they had to do choreography for a fight, and that’s not developed on) would have really been appreciated, and having Kaworu be a bigger part of the series would have facilitated that.

Also honestly the whole series feels a bit rushed? Spcl the second half. Like I said: I haven’t done any followup reading lately, but I remember there being some budget problems or something, so maybe that’s the cause. Ironically it might actl also be why it’s as GOOD as it is; having to keep it short forces you to write concise and lean, and that’s probably why its themes and message are so clear. But, I’d have liked more rambling for character development, and more time spent on seeing Rei and Asuka react to the stresses we saw Shinji face(also they never really get moments to shine like he does; another negative common to the medium and genre). Asuka in particular, as a Japanese German with a USian temperament abandoned by her parents, already an outsider in SO many ways, coming to live in an entirely different culture where she’s even MORE of an outsider; forced to live with people(Misato and Shinji) she finds it impossible to relate to or connect with; who has literally NO ONE beside a single adult guardian who totally blows her off THE WHOLE SERIES after delivering her; PLUS her awful past: there’s just SO MUCH material I’d have loved to see explored more slowly and with greater depth, detail, and sympathy even if what IS there already is pretty powerful and effecting. She’s SUCH a good Vriska(so I’d also have loved to see her break more shit too >:>)

Conclusion

So Anyway: I really liked this series. It had its problems, there are things I’d have liked to see, but it absolutely deserves the reputation it has. I might write more about this, I might do a watch through INCLUDING End of Evangelion(which actl makes much more sense having watched the series, though having done so makes Shinji’s masturbation scene comPLETELY out of left-field like where the hell did THAT come from); we’ll see.

#Neon Genesis Evangelion #The Dreaded Animes #zA Reviews #zA Opinions

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bisexualoftheblade-old · 4 years ago

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how many wips do you have? like what are they all, and not the number of wips in a fandom? what are all the names?

okay. fuck you. fuck you so much. fuck you.

i’m putting this under a read more cut no one else deserves to see this shit. a lot of these are requests, and for those i will just write out the request itself

Shadowhunters:

domestic polycule fluff with tem, jessa, and will because im not a coward

Supernatural

- hehe hoho i request destiel hehehe

- request 61/? cai cai cai cai i need you to rewrite the destiel scene but yk. GOOD. not like i'm in the know about the spn fandom or anything, it's been years for me. but DO IT

Bright Sessions

- caleb/adam grisha AU

- mark bryant vs. united states aka sue the AM

- caleb/adam college fluff

Umbrella Acaademy

- request 31/? i want a ben and klaus drabble please spare me some brotherly bickering

- AND SO BEGINS NIGHT 4 with request 13/? oooh oooh can i get a raymond and allison playlist??? i think their vibes together would SLAP

- hi there night 2 is technically morning 3 but who's counting not me anyway request 5/? can i get a ben moodboard? gotta rep my tua bb

Percy Jackson

- request 9/? can i get a percabeth moodboard or quote edit?? like god they're the og couple goals take me back to high school cai

- For the 100 follower things :D Jercy getting caught in the rain

- request 29/? a drabble about literally anything to do with pjo. i’ll be happy with anyone and anything i’m love these children

- *somersaults in like I’m a real fancy acrobat* hello ello ello may I request some camp half blood chaos possible involving *does a flip* ✨side characters✨ <3

Penumbra Podcast

- request 52/? drabble about the penumbra podcast. this is for ren bc ren likes it and i don't actually know anything about it. juno? i think? that's the one ren likes. write it for ren

- Tpp ghost hunting / buzzfeed unsolved au

- sad juno smut

- final resting place fic go brrrr

Marvel

- request 6/? i'm going to my roots y'all can i get a spider-man playlist? if not a playlist then i'd honestly be happy with literally anything involving spider-man

- request 15/? i'm going crazy this is recorded evidence of me actually losing it ANYWAY can i get a quote edit for something from iron man? literally anything that man says is gold so cai's choice :D he deserved better in endgame i'm still bitter

- request 42/? do another spidey thing that differs from the other spidey thing

- request 73/? you have Opinions. rant about infinity way and/or endgame. go.

- request 74/? quote edit for deadpool!!

- spideytorch relationship character study

- peter parker as a tired grad student monitoring the young avengers (send help)

Six of Crows

- okay listen i wasn't going to request anything bc i worry about you but also? if you want to/have the time hit me with a playlist for our girl nina zenik

- request 43/? fuckin give me the ending anya should have had. she is alive and with her new son and having a great time

- request 45/? inej moodboard?

- request 47/? will you make literally any meme of your choosing for six of crows?

- request 48/? write a drabble for kaz, my favorite bastard

- okay so i don't actually like nina or mattias that much but i still wanna hear about your thoughts (and also see if you'll change my mind)

- kaz brekker turning 18 fic. birthday party, everyone singing, whole shebang. i need it stat

- religious trauma fic aka i started shipping kaz/alina/inej and i can’t stop

- kaz trauma soup (he has D.I.D. and you can’t prove me wrong)

- my two redacted fics for @grishaversebigbang

- wesper fake dating

- six of crows bright sessions crossover: everyone gets therapy

TMA

- uhh... s1 gang having a nice time? melanie getting to have some Pride™️? some "fun" horror thing?

- request 7/? spare steph and jason bonding? please sir? spare some for a humble child such as myself?

- okay so this was meant for night 3 but i had midterm shit SO this is honorary night 3 let's DO THIS request 8/? i want a moodboard of extremely out of context magnus archives shit like i mean confuse the FUCK out of me i don't go here i know Nothing about it

- request 11/? OKAY so i need tim stoker meeting tim drake now i need my timmy to meet your tim plus i want to see character differences no i'm not trying to create a tim stoker in my head so i can read a's fic while NOT thinking of tim drake whaaaaaat you're crazy

- request 18(i think)/? i need a quote edit of every time within the first like. 15 eps of tam where jon is like “sounds fake but go off” thank u bb

- request 40/? i challenge you to write a tma drabble based only on the episodes i've heard. i'm currently halfway through episode 23

- Jon being lovingly bullied into taking a break. I'm aware this has been written a million times but it is one of my favorite things.

- spiral!sasha AU

- extinction martin go brrrrr

- high school era timsasha. they've both been friends for years, and everyone always asks when they will be a couple. they decide to fake date, to prove everyone wrong and show what a bad couple they would be. turns out that's a bit trickier than they thought

- after sasha comes back, tim is broken. he can't let go, scared that if he looks away for even a minute he'll lose her again. sasha suggests shibari as a way for him to give up control

- sasha pov mag 19 au, sacrificing herself to save the others, knows that if she gives herself up to the not!them it will let the others live

- this is the "tim finds a polaroid of sasha" trope

- early archives days,, long nights in research,,, clothes sharing,, somft. late nights and falling asleep at their desks warm and safe in the other's presence

- two parts: timsasha as kids, each picking a constellation that is "theirs". just soft kid antics. tim at sasha's grave glancing up to see their constellations

- continuing your job’s a joke (you’re broke)

DC Comics

- TIMSTEPH HADESTOWN AU,,,

- my redacted fic for @batfam-big-bang

- request for you to get a decent amount of sleep? serious answer, dickkori, SAL's Venus

- request 4/? timsteph morning after 👀 mayhaps?

- a concept: nonbinary stephanie brown

- teehee hi mom, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, but can i request damian angst for your accomplishments 100 followers?

- hi you can ignore my first request if you want, or you can ignore this one. but bls possibly write some bikini ra’s? -the bikini bitch

- request 27/? jay is asking through me for a jondami playlist but tbh i also want it so win win yk?

- "I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does" with bruce and jason? im just craving bruce being a good day to jason for once

- “I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.” with steph and jason as dumbass disaster bi best friends pretty please?

- request 32/? timsteph patrol date!!!

- request 33/? timsteph *gala* date? mayhaps??

- request 37/? tim drake drabble but make it Edgy cai

- request 39/? drabble of a prank war between tim and damian

- joyfire cuddly fluff please? or like just any outlaw fluff if joyfire isnt your thing (feel free to add every member of the outlaws, dont feel like u gotta stick with jason, kori, roy i love them all)

- barbara and robin! jason fluff? bonding over books or something?

- request 62/? i need a drabble about the chaotic trio jason, tim, and steph i'm love them ty

- request 63/? batfam x mcu crossover. batfam meets ironfam. give me ALL the cliches. ALL OF THEM

- request 64/? young justice x young avengers - jay cuz idk SHIT about the young avengers

- request 66/? jondami moodboard pls and ty

- request 67/? timsteph moodboard!!!!!!

- request 69/? HEHEHE kinky 😏 i would v much like a timsteph drabble of the almost first time. does that make sense? like i don't want you to go all the way NSFW cuz i know that's against the rules and i'm a rule follower. but like they *almost* go all the way. this could be fade to black or some shit i don't care just make it a lil steamy and have Fun

- i request damian angst! all of it

- hmm... maybe i request? jondami?

- mayhaps,,,,some batfam,,,,,committing crimes? ily be gay do crime <3 - lu

- How about a ficlet with Steph and Cass?

Found Family Bingo Prompts

- no powers au

- tunnel

- first day

- join the club

- hurt/comfort

- experiment

- playing favorites

- hold on

- possession

- 10 o’clock

- singing

- road

- snitch

- curfew

- timer

- fantasy au

- zombie au

- dreams

- campfire

- are you okay

- movie night

- games

- scared

Miscellaneous

- a request: Write A Drabble, Coward

- is it too late to request a moodboard for me?

- request 20/? i’m going off book because i’m in a Chaotic Mood™️ can you just absolutely vibe check me like go off cai demolish me

- request 21/? i formally request that you pick a favorite cai. i don’t care what that favorite pertains to, just pick a favorite something

- request 23/? roast me

- request 24/? can i have a buzzfeed unsolved spoopy playlist but spoiler alert it’s not spoopy bc shane doesn’t believe does this make sense it has been a Day™️

- request 25/50 i want a jake and amy fic make it Soft cai i’m love them b99 is so good

- request 28/? i know nothing about the lord of the rings so make something that will confuse the shit out of me

- request 34/? malvie and jaylos moodboards 😈

- request 35/? a moodboard for the bbb mods!! perceive all of us!!!

- request 36/? moodboard for the tua mods too???? mayhaps??

- request 41/? doctor WHO? idk but i want a drabble of him and the one character i know from doctor who which is rose

- request 46/? make an alignment meme with our group, have fun!!!

- request 49/? i want you to kin assign me a character from every fandom you can/want to. go feral

- request 50!!!!/? this is a special request. the most special request. can you make a bastards tbh playlist? i want our vibes encapsulated. i want us in music form. i want to hear those songs and be like "that's me and cai" and smile.

- requests 51/? i know jack shit about good omens. explain it to me in the most confusing way possible. make me know less by the end than i know now

- request 53/? can you write a mel aesthetic? i'm Curious

- request 54/? give me a list of book recs cai i want some good book recs pls

- request 56/? edit a picture of US together too

- request 58/? oooh can i have a disney edit? like. hm. i just really love disney and i want anything to do with disney. like a quote or an aesthetic or an aesthetic edit i just want disney.

- request 59/? i would v much like a recipe for carbonara. i've never had it but it sounds fucking delicious

- request 60/? ooh hey can i get a makeup tutorial? i know you like makeup, i'm shit at doing makeup. teach me

- request 65/? i need the most emo playlist you can make that vibes with dear evan hansen thank you

- request 68/? i want a superwholock moodboard. this can be serious, with the actual fandoms in mind, or literally what the era felt like. the insanity. the horror.

- request 70/? ooh ooh ooh do you have a good bread recipe?? i wanna get that bread

- request 71/? i want a playlist with the vibes of summoning a demon. please don't ask questions. i don't have answers. and if i do, no i don't.

- For the requests, how about writing something based on a friend?

- request 75/? MMMM i want literally anything to do with natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812

- request 76/? i want some healthy recipes. help a girl out

- a feral bbb quote or two?

- you perceive my plant but now I dare thee to perceive mine own visage

- okay this is a two for one request. 1. you did the bee movie script so now we need a shrek two script edit 2. sleep please

- Pansexual mb for my lil queer soul?

- my (probably) final request is just for you to ramble about something, i don't really care what

- HI ILY CONGRATS AS WELL CAUSE IM LATE BUT CONGRATS. could i request a pirates of the caribbean (or just pirates) or whatever you what to do, free range.

- mood board for the beluga whales who got brought to the animal sanctuary in Iceland please?

- 100 follower request: Moodboard for my stuffed cow Oaky?

#cai's 200 #asks #mininacl

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bigskydreaming · 4 years ago

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I’m literally in love with the way you write Dick and Jason’s dynamic

Thanks, glad to hear that! Personal preferences aside, I honestly do think it just opens up SO many more potential stories if you go with the idea that they did have a brotherly relationship before Jason died, just they didnt get together around Bruce because Dick was still hoping Bruce would make the first move in reaching out to him. Rather than just stick with the usual assumption that because it wasn’t seen on the page, they had barely any interactions and both resented each other for various reasons.

But those reasons all trace back to Bruce, and if you look at them as two people who are united by the common experience of being fish out of water, adapting to the same environment after coming from DRAMATICALLY different origins, able to connect over that and understand each other in a way nobody else really can because nobody else has ever really had to straddle two worlds as definitively as Dick and Jason had to in their formative years....

Like, the big sticking point for me in the Dick vs Jason: The Grudge theory was just that....at the end of the day, these are two boys who grew up with very few loved ones to start with, or having had to deal with the loss of those loved ones.....

But one way or another......are these two specific characters really ones that make sense as wanting to reject the possibility of more family?

They’re connected through Bruce, like it or not, that was never going to change even from before they ever met......and the idea that Dick Grayson and Jason Todd would each be content to waste literal YEARS never even TRYING to connect with the person who was probably most like him and who by all accounts was already his brother in most ways just by way of Bruce...not even to see if maybe they COULD actually be brothers? To have family beyond just Bruce and Alfred?

Me @ every fic or headcanon that says Dick had Only Child Syndrome and resented Jason because of that: right because Dick Grayson of all people is anti-family. He’s full up with that one guy whose legal guardianship of him has been expired for a couple years and who he hasn’t spoken to since long before then.....nah, why would he want any more or any other family beyond that?

I mean, I absolutely believe that Dick was upset and hurt that Bruce adopted Jason while he’d never even offered to adopt Dick......but Dick has never been one to pass around blame instead of focusing it on its true point of origin. That’s his and Bruce’s issue. And honestly, there are TONS of reasons for Dick to be upset about that, without making it about Jason at all.

There’s literally no reason for Dick to take it out on Jason ever, if his biggest issue or grievance is that like....it feels like Bruce was just so done with Dick and considered him so out of his life, something like “just added a new kid to the family” didn’t seem like relevant information he should pass on to Dick despite the tenseness between them. When you have to find out from the NEWS that your old family unit just full on up and adopted this kid you’ve never heard of before now without even so much as a phone call.....there’s plenty of cause to feel like this is a message that you’re not really considered part of that family unit anymore, so why would you need to know?

Or like, the fact that Bruce didn’t consider hey I’m thinking of adding another kid to my family that consists of me and the kid I’m so afraid to tell I think of him as a son in case he doesn’t feel the same way, that I’ve sat back and let things get this bad between us and fester.....hey maybe before I issue adoption papers for a second kid, I should think about putting in an equivalent effort at fixing things with my first kid first?

Or why not write Bruce thinking: “Hey if I can’t even fix things with the kid I raised for almost a decade and think of as my own no matter how long its been since I talked to him.....what on Earth makes me think I’m qualified to take on a SECOND child?”

Like....Bruce was the one who held all the power and all the options, Dick had no other option but to go along with whatever Bruce decided Bruce was going to do, and neither did Jason really.....so there’s no real reason in my head that should be a point of contention between them or a reason to resent each other instead of just stressing to them the importance of having significant family ties beyond just Bruce because history clearly showed even at that point that best intentions aside, the man is fallible.

If anything, that should have been common ground!

I think there was like, an initial negative reaction of maybe one night, the first time they met and Dick even though he was prepared for it still had to adjust to the reality of actually seeing this stranger he was irrevocably connected to now by both his names, even if neither was technically his anymore....like to actually SEE him standing there in his old role....that’s gonna hit anybody hard.

But he also would have clearly been able to see that whatever else he may have been, this twelve year old Robin was still a kid, and one who hadn’t had a lot of time to ever be a kid in the first place.....which again, instant camaraderie, because boy could Dick relate.....remember, Dick may have had a happy childhood with his parents before they were murdered but it was also a childhood where he WORKED. He loves being an acrobat, he loved being in the show, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t WORK, that his childhood didn’t consist of training as long and as regularly as any adult acrobat while everyone else his age was running around playing outside and making friends. And after Bruce took Dick in, most of Dick’s free time was spent being Robin, training as Robin, etc?

Which IMO would have made him take one look at this kid in his old costume, literally standing where he had once stood, stepping into his old shoes.....and I think Dick’s real honest reaction once he brushed aside any kneejerk feeling of pain or bitterness the way he brushes aside all the physical pain he feels when out as Nightwing but refuses to let get in the way of him doing what he has to, doing what’s right....

Nah, Dick would have taken one look at this tiny kid full of fire and bravado but also so clearly eager to please, to be praised, to be told he was doing a good job and even without that he was worth something, his life had value, the world was better just because he existed......

And I think Dick’s bitterness about the situation would have crystallized into him resentfully thinking well B’s not exactly the best about dishing out affection or praise so I’m gonna make sure this little Mini-Me standing there in my old colors looking just as young and small as I must have looked then even if I didn’t realize it at the time....I’m gonna make sure I keep him supplied with a steady diet of “Nice Words and Gestures That Kids Should Grow Up Receiving Regularly.”

Dick has always been a firm believer that the best way to make sure something gets done is to do it yourself.

So yeah, I honestly do think that back during those days, Dick and Jason were thick as thieves when their schedules allowed for it, with it being simultaneously painful and unspoken that they had to like....work around Bruce’s presence so Dick could avoid him, but somewhat softened by the challenge and thrill of two brothers scheming to pull one over on the Big Bad Batdad every time the older brother wanted to take the little brother to go somewhere or do something, like, even just to spoil him rotten.

Cuz really....isn’t that a lot more interesting than ‘oh they barely ever even met back then and it wasn’t great, that’s it, the end’? There’s so much you could do with even just that, from them sneaking Jason out for a fun adventure that’s layered with just a hint of poignant angst because of the unspoken why of him needing to sneak out instead of them just saying hey Bruce, we need some bro time, Jason’s hanging with me this weekend? Or you dial up the angst and layer it with lightness or literally anything between those two points on a spectrum.

There’s so much Secret History potential buried back in those years....adventures they had together and never told anyone about, secrets shared between brothers they never shared elsewhere.....maybe Dick opening up to Jason more than he usually likes to, but here felt it might be the only way to get Jason to do the same, with Dick thus offering up some painful tidbit from his past that he never told even Bruce or Alfred for some reason, if he thinks Jason’s upset about something and needs to vent but will just keep insisting he’s fine unless Dick leads by example and goes first.

There’s so much potential for in-jokes that only the two of them know and everyone else is ENDLESSLY curious about, because everyone always forgets that those two have so much history because it was literally kept out of sight, out of mind, so they could keep it free of the friction that was bound to come of adding Bruce to the mix before their father cleared the air with his eldest first.

So its an easy thing to forget about or overlook, especially since it rarely comes up....but everytime it does rear its head via some private joke only they know or a reference to some event back then that everyone else is kept boxed out of having any context for....that’s the kind of stuff that would drive a family of detectives craszy, because they want to know! What’s the joke??

And yet its likely they’d never ask, because as curious as they are to hear about the mysterious missing years of the first two Wayne children, back when there was literally nobody else present to ask for details.....they never can figure out HOW to ask those questions, not when they’re equally aware of the swiftly hidden expressions of pain or bitterness that flash across the two eldests’ faces after each unearthing of some long-buried treasure they shared between them. Unable to ever escape the fact that each of those treasured moments would forever be followed with an inevitable reminder of why there were so few of those moments, in the end.

Why those years ended far earlier than they should have, and why their reunion upon Jason’s return was hindered and complicated by Dick’s obligation to other siblings Jason hurt while dealing with Pit after-effects and the lack of a strong support system while swayed to League sympathies...

And of course, ultimately there’s the reality that after the Adventures of Young Dick and Tiny Jason were cancelled far ahead of schedule, and that several year long intermission....by the time everything else was gotten out of the way, the stars of those earlier adventures were as long gone as the adventures themselves. Dick and Jason were both entirely different people by now.....still containing within each of them enough of who they were back then that those memories are kept carefully protected and hidden away, all the more valuable for how few and sparse they are, and how rarely they’re brought out to look at and enjoy.....

But with those vaults buried deeply enough within who Dick and Jason both are these days, that there’s a lot of blood and loss and pain you have to cut through just to reach that vault. There’s no retrieving anything from it without a cost. A cost worth paying, given that they can’t help themselves from calling back to it every now and then, even though they know the inevitable result is going to be end negative and not end positive. But still high enough to give them pause before actually doing so....holding back sometimes so the toll is doled out sparingly and over time. Getting greedy and trying to bring out/back/up too much too fast is far more daunting than either can afford to pay at the moment.

So that’s how I like to view the two of them and their dynamic back during and because of those early years before Jason’s death. Bittersweet and shaded by nostalgia.....temptation and warning both, in how much they want to revisit it but how much they fear ruining what they’ve managed to cobble together now by bringing the past too much into the light, comparing past and present too clearly and risking that being reminded too strongly of the brothers they were back then, will just make it impossible to ever be content with anything but that bond replicated in full and they’re not sure it can be, are both too afraid too much has happened since then and trying too hard, putting too much pressure on the dynamic they’ve built now could risk shattering the relative fragile bond completely.

Pretty much everything I write with the two of them, unless I specifically state otherwise via context, is generally written through that lens, with me viewing that as the backstory for their dynamic that I’m running with.

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eriisaam · 4 years ago

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Something something Tarot Card Project something.

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Context under the cut, in order of appearance:

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Kyo - The Fool ( Hear me out.)

Symbolizing new beginning, adventure, opportunities, pleasure, etc. It reflects how when Lifonse and Kamui first met him (from his perspective), he suddenly took a drastic turn in his life with opening new opportunities (becoming a summoner, stabilizing his power to go from a ditto to a ditto-mew, getting his first legendary in Zacian and encountering others, finding his ex and making amends to be on surprisingly good terms with him, having lovers who immediately love him, etc), of which his stinkiness nearly self-sabotaged in his apprehension, his guardedness, and (more sympathetically) him managing his past experiences and traumas, of which had Lifonse and Kamui not been so patient, supportive and loving as they had, there were so many opportunities he could've ruined for himself. This incarnation of him even gained more lovers than his past self (in Eclair and then Kaze), and in a moment of humbling himself and realizing in full of the weight of his failings and foolishness, it had a profound effect in Zacian for her to knight him, proclaiming herself as his to officially train.

For the reverse, this also winds up heavily symbolizing his past-self, who became present-Kyo's fallen alt, who did wind up self-sabotaging things by causing a lot of trauma that lingered in Kamui and Lifonse, who went a completely different direction in life from the present Kyo, and was woefully apathetic and uncaring to Lifonse and Kamui as a whole compared to present-Kyo not only opening up and genuinely loving them more, but making strides to change himself for the better for their sake, too. There were many scars he left behind in Lifonse and Kamui that negatively impacted even present-Kyo’s relationship with them, and the only moment he had a saving grace was just before his death, and ruined just as quickly when Hel claimed him as one of her new cohorts. Worth also noting that unlike the present Kyo, whose power stabilized his ditto genes to be mew-like, past-Kyo didn’t develop nearly as pronounced a bond to do the same, and thus, lacked their connection to a mew.

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Ephrel - The Chariot

In reverse, the feeling of defeat, being vanquished, lost, etc. Were all feelings that reflected how Ephrel was in the eyes of Sparrow's Order of Heroes prior to Sparrow's official status as summoner (of which Chrom's was unofficial before her). They were completely forgotten to the point they didn't even have a name attached other than "former summoner/previous summoner", the circumstances of why they were gone were almost entirely unheard of or guesswork, and there seemed far too much haste to try to forget them as much as possible in favor of moving on with Sparrow, satisfied to keep their fate unknown with very few to give a fuck otherwise (like Chrom, then Sparrow based on Chrom's own unwavering hope to find out what happened once learning Ephrel had a life after their robinsona).

The process of finding Spectabilis, then deciding to redeem them rather than kill them (which would be far easier and inconsequential), was what flips The Chariot upright: Reflecting the long, rocky road Chrom persevered to press forward to, and meet up to free Ephrel from a fate of stagnancy, rather than just leave it at accepting his replacement Robins and moving on without them like everyone else. This action was what allowed Ephrel's live to continue forward, and to reveal more of themself they didn't flesh out even in their robinsona days.

Initially, I debated on whether or not Chrom and Ephrel fit to be literally riding something, but I find it even more fitting that Chrom himself served as “the chariot”, having carried the toils and burdens from the point he lost Ephrel, to the long, exhausting journey to retrieve them again.

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Erin - The Hanged Man

As her supports (but especially Lif, Ryoma, and to some degree Camilla from the start) knew too well (and Hrid eventually caught up on and was rightfully horrified of and clingy afterwards about), Erin came from a very harsh life prior to being a summoner, where she was suffocated, controlled, manipulated, and worked to the ground, to the point she nearly made a very costly, risky mistake of her own self prior to her Breidablik summoning her (of which I'll remain brief and vague here as it's not the biggest point this time). The damage was still done, as she still was left a broken shell, fully welcoming anyone to pull her strings as she was heavily conditioned to expect, all with a weak will, self-worth and agency. All of which line up with the reversed Hang Man's meaning of useless sacrifice, unwillingness to change, and knowingly heading on to bad decision after bad outcome. The arms of her past try greedily to drag her back to the life she had once escaped from.

The upright version of this reflected readjustment, improvement, and rebirth: All of which carried the same elements to how her supports could see she was a completely different person underneath the broken mess she was initially left as, and needed support, love, and gentle coaxing to come out in her own accord. This then led to a very massive shift to what she later turned into presently from where she started off before: As someone bold, brash, more willing to show herself, and more engaged as her own self with her own decisions. Even in free-fall, she gained her freedom, and more, thanks to her supports, gained her wings figuratively and literally (as a manakete) to take flight by her own will.

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Teru - Death

In reverse, Teru had indeed followed a lot of relationships that couldn't fully serve him or be as realized as he needed them to be at the time he needed it most (Kyo, before The Incident nearly ruined even their friendship, and definitely ruined their relationship. Then Ryoma, before Garon took that away from him as well.). His Order of Heroes failed him, his initial Askr was doomed, and he had to be a pillar of strength and protection to his pokemon and them in a time he himself desperately needed someone to rely on and protect him instead in his ailing strength and health. In the form he took prior to decimating his former connected World of Fates, one prominent feature in the missingno form he took at the time was carrying the fragmented headgear of his fallen past lover.

Upright, even in the point where Teru changed his life for the better, it took massive sacrifices and struggles on his part to get there. He has a chronic illness that can make him incredibly godly in power in the best of times, but also worryingly and critically frail and weak in most other times, all through his missingno powers he's still not able to entirely control. He had done the impossible in cheating death so many times from being a missingno, to surviving Conquest, to taking the Heart's Rite head on and living to tell the tale, but such bragging rights rang hallow for the sacrifices he made and the unspeakable levels of agony and pain he endured while subjected to them. He cheated death, yet at what cost? But even when he reached his lowest, his life did start anew as he grew past his traumas just enough to learn to grow and feel again, and for the better. After all, "third time's the charm".

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Sparrow - The Star

Where she started, she was homeless, abandoned by the world, and left to die. Forgotten. Uncared for. Unconcerned. Just another number and another sad life wasted. Like the reverse, she started in a point she was made acutely aware how little her skills mattered (it certainly didn't spare her the life of poverty), how bad her luck was (despite her best efforts, she still failed), and her only future was one that was coming to an end (crushed dreams unrealized in favor of being left to starve to death to the harsh elements outdoors). In her hands were the concept of a Crest of Fate bestowed to her, marking her as a digidestined. But even this “blessing” was in actuality a fake crest of the Grimeal, and what led to long-term damage to her and her digimon when the ruse was up.

It was Chrom who summoned her, and it was because of his patience to help save her and get her on her feet again did her hopes turn around, and her card meaning with it. Upright, she had a second chance in a new life, a new environment, and with opportunities she only barely touched the surface of that were fully realized in looking to it again in Askr (her digimon, who she didn't physically interact with until Chrom upset her digimon partners upon realizing why Sparrow didn't check up on them (of which she downplayed her life cuz, well, she thought it was a game), revealing themselves in full). She found love, she found insight, and she found a new power she learned to harness to make a better use of her skills when she thought a more direct approach was lacking (a healer, when she wasn't physically strong enough to take up another weapon yet). She stayed calm, positive, hopeful, and tried to extend the same hope Chrom shared to her to others she found along the way, which led to Robin, Lyon, and then Ephrel finding their own hopes as well. In her hands was a digi-egg of Destiny (sometimes alternatively known as the digimental of fate), which manifested itself when Breidablik resonated with both Sparrow and Ephrel. As a united force, they finally gained the hard-earned role of digidestined as a duo legendary-mythic unit.

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Eclair - Judgement

A lot of Eclair's point of major growth in power and character all fell back on Thorr's most powerful ability: Judgement. This power was the power that could completely and utterly decimate entire countries with the single swing of her hammer, and she isn't afraid to flex, and in ways Eclair saw for himself are fickle and self-righteous (particularly as she and Teru declared war on one another for the sake of protecting Nohr or wiping it off the face of Fates, but did nothing to interfere with the Nohr Teru himself destroyed in his own world). This fickle nature, this self-serving attitude and logic path Thorr decides when to enact her judgement or not, struck the biggest fear in Eclair and caused untold amounts of stress, worries, and panic attacks of being his greatest failure of seeing everyone wiped away from his life (like the fate he himself escaped as a forma) if he couldn't successfully stop his own mother. All of which are fears of the reverse Judgement. Even when she left her mark in other timelines and what-could’ve-beens, she struck fear in Eclair’s supports making such outcomes prominently known for them to stew on. Including an alternative outcome of her taking hold of some manner of Alfonse and overloading him into a temporal threat.

But upright, it also reflects awakening, renewal, a better health and mind fully realized. The point Eclair began fearing his mother and aunt most was also the point his powers started manifesting the most when his family, friends and supports made their own will clear of wanting to protect him. It was also the point he fully realized that form of will that comes from love and the power it held that heavily contrasted the will Thorr took interest in that comes from despair. This eventually was fully realized in his fully powered form, Magni, and his power as the Divine Shield to completely cancel out Thorr's Judgement attack, and thus, force her to bring herself down to the same even footing as the mortals when she can't simply delete them off the earth with a swing anymore. This resolve is also what resonated with why Zamazenta similarly trusts him, and thus, fully established Eclair's mythic alt.

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alistircrat · 4 years ago

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Hetalila Fanfiction Recs

Here’s a list of some of my favorite Hetalia fanfictions. Most have pairings, which I’ll specify. I put this up because I know I’m always on the lookout for good fanfiction and I wanted to help out anyone else who’s in the same boat :D Feel free to add onto this or rec me some too ;) Also a good master list of the ones I like LMAO. I’ve noticed I either like tragic, angsty fanfiction or really fluffy ones. A lot are rated M. And a LOT of USUK and Spamano #srynotsry Disclaimer: I did not write any of these; they all belong to their respective authors.

Update: Ive had this sitting in my drafts for like over 4 years and i began it when i was super into hetalia n fanfiction LMAO, what better time to post this when i should be studying lmao its nearly 4 am halp

UsUK

The Secret : Rated T, 32k words, 5 chapters, Drama/Romance, Complete Arthur's sister, engaged to prince Alfred, is killed before she even meets him. Arthur's parents do not want to shame themselves by ending the engagement and force Arthur to dress like his sister and marry Alfred instead. But can this secret be kept? (note: very interesting!! I loved every second of it)

The Courting of Alfred Jones : Rated M, 26k words, 13 chapters, Romance/Hurt/Comfort, Incomplete Alfred Jones is the most popular guy in school and also extremely homophobic. This is why Arthur is his new favourite 'victim', but Arthur has no intentions of grovelling in the dust for him. Punk!ArthurxJock!Alfred (note: Rated M, so there IS some explicit material and I advise viewer discretion. Another highschool AU. Sad that it’s probably not going to finish but it’s worth the read)

When I Only Wanted to Save the World : Rated M, 29k words, 11 chapter, Romance, Complete Alfred is a firefighter in New York City. When he gets badly injured, he takes a trip to London to recover. There he meets a man named Arthur, who ends up helping him recover from wounds he didn't even know he had. (note: warmed my weeb heart)

United Again : Rated T, 31k words, 7 chapters, Humor/Romance, Complete Arthur gets a letter in the mail informing him of his school's ten year reunion.

Unexpected : Rated T, 5.7k words, One-shot, Humor/Drama, Complete World Academy. When Arthur was asked to tutor the star of the American Football team, he expected several things. Sitting in an apartment full of Asian children was not one of them. (cute!)

The Invitational Year : Rated M, 208k words, 41 chapters, Romance/Drama, Complete Alfred is an awkward dork, despite the fact his dad is President. Arthur is a member of British royalty, and he's a perfectionist loner. Both boys are given an invitation to attend the prestigious World Academy and, naturally, they're roomies. (note: A favorite of mine! Quite long but very much worth it. Highschool AU. Can be silly yet dramatic. Anyways, you should read it! Viewer discretion due to sexual themes)

The Sophomore Year : Rated M, 173k words, 34 chapter, Romance/Drama, Complete After meeting at boarding school, Alfred and Arthur became unlikely friends and then lovers. Now, they'll face their sophomore year in America and all the challenges that come with being young, famous, and madly in love. (note: sequal to The Invitational Year)

And All That Jazz : Rated M, 98k words, 22 chapters, Romance, Complete Alfred is approached by the Student Body President, Arthur, for help on his math exam. They hate each other, but maybe opposites can attract with the help of something unexpected. (note: I love this fic. Highschool AU. Also involves music...cuz liek yknow the title)

1912 : Rated T, 52k words, 9 chapters, Romance/Drama, Complete Cynical, overweight and bored in the dull twilight of his empire, Arthur finds distraction in the form of rekindling his relationship with Alfred on board the RMS Titanic during her doomed maiden voyage.

The Arrow was Shot : Rated K+, 5.8k words, One-shot, Romance, Complete In order to win his family's respect, Arthur enters a tournament to win the Princess of America's hand in marriage. At the tournament, he befriends the mysterious Alfred- a fellow competitor who is equally determined to win. As he and Alfred grow closer, he begins to question what is more important to him: his family's respect... or Alfred.

Flirting with Failure : Rated T, 2k words, One-shot, Romance/Humor, Complete Alfred just wanted to get one date with Arthur Kirkland before the semester ended. To do that he had to speak with him. Thus, he was set up for failure.

Hero Frequency : Rated T, 12k words, 3 chapters, Romance/Humor, Incomplete America's got the coolest and most awesome band in school, and he's totally going to win the Battle of the Bands contest. Or at least he might, if he can get England to put aside their past issues long enough to play guitar...

The Gentleman and the Hero : Rated T, 57k words, 21 chapters, Romance, Complete World Academy students have been paired up for an anonymous email exchange program, so they can talk to someone about school and personal problems in private. These are the emails of two students nicknamed 'The Gentleman' and 'The Hero'. (note: I also love this. I find it very cute and also very in character. I want an email buddy lol. Highschool AU)

Breathless : Rated T, 35k words, 4 chapters, Angst/Hurt/Comfort, Complete Arthur Kirkland never thought that golden boy Alfred Jones would ever have a reason to attempt suicide. Then again, how much did he really know about the oh so popular blonde? The rumor mill would surely chew him up and spit him out. (note: p sure this is another favorite of mine. Though angsty, I really enjoyed the development between the two. Highschool AU. Really great read!!)

Static : Rated T, 45k words, 9 chapters, Drama/Romance, Incomplete Sequel to Breathless. Arthur always thought that the incident with Alfred's arms would forever be the biggest hurdle their friendship would face. But as the looks change and the touches linger, it becomes frightfully clear that he was dead wrong about that. (note: continues after Breathless, but not finished ): worth the read anyway)

Ask Me Anything : Rated T, 7k words, One-shot, Romance/Humor, Complete Alfred starts to follow Arthur on tumblr. It's not long until they become friends... and possibly more.

The Cost of Affection : Rated M, 61k words, 32 chapters, Angst/Romance, Incomplete Being a whore is easy: all Arthur has to do is spread his legs and take the money. He doesn't have to face his past; nor does he have to deal with love. And for good reason - because when he does fall head-over-heels for someone, he's forced to realize that his sins go beyond prostitution, and that even as he rediscovers himself, his past is coming back to haunt him after all.

You Can’t Take the Sky Away From Me : Rated T, 113k words, 32 chapters, Adventure/Romance, Incomplete Ace pilot America is on a mission for the World Military when a chance encounter with a group of sky-pirates leads him to team up with their captain, England, against a malevolent group that wants to fill the sky with zeppelins. (note: Steampunk AU. This is a really cool fic!)

We’ll Meet Again : Rated M, 43k words, 13 chapters, Romance/Angst, Complete WW2 AU. London pub owner Arthur Kirkland is driven to distraction by loud, brash American fighter pilot Alfred Jones. Unable to stop it, Arthur finds himself falling for Alfred's charms... just as the pilot is preparing to leave for war. (note: a hetalia fandom clASSIC. MUST READ. unfortunately the OG fics were deleted so someone reposted it, giving credit to the OG author George deValier. this will rip ur heart out n tape it poorly back together)

Franada

La Patisserie de La Rose : Rated M, 35k words, 6 chapters, Romance, Complete Accountant Matthew Williams is used to being unnoticed, ignored, and forgotten. That is until pastry chef Francis Bonnefoy appears like a burst of colour in his dull, grey life.

AmeViet (yes, Vietnam!)

Hard to Get : Rated T, 57k words, 20 chapters, Adventure/Romance, Complete During World War Two, serious, limited Vietnam meets the boisterous America. Amid fighting, friendship, and stress, America tries to get Vietnam to like him, but she won't let that happen. Or will she? (note: One of my all-time favorites, unforgettable. I can never find fics of this pairing, it’s so hard! But this is a really great fic, highly recommend. also after learning more about Vietnam history, i might give this yet ANOTHER re-read with my new perspectives)

Of Broken Promises and the Taste of Freedom : Rated T, 1.4k words, One-shot, Hurt/Comfort/Romance, Complete Vaguely, Vietnam wondered if this was what freedom tasted like. If perhaps, the hot waves that crashed through her body and set her skin on fire was what it was like to know that you are truly free.

GerIta (apologies, I don’t read too much GerIta LOL)

Auf Wiedersehen, Sweetheart : Rated M, 104k words, 18 chapters, Romance/Angst, Complete WW2 AU. Feliciano Vargas is a passionate, if slightly scared, Italian resistance member. Falling in love with a German fighter pilot was the last thing he expected... and it will test his national loyalty, and his heart, to their limits. (note: another VeraVerse, so well written! you will not ragret. also a repost since Og was deleted, all credit to George deValier)

RusAme

Dear Diary : Rated T, 55k words, 17 chapters, Humor/Romance, Complete Alfred F. Jones isn't gay. Just read his diary; you'll see. (note: I absolutely love high school or college AUs, omg. Also this is hilarious. I can really relate to how Alfred's rambling)

PruHun

The Most Awesome Date Plan Ever : Rated T, 7.5k words, 6 chapters, Romance/Humor, Complete It was foolproof. He had worked out every plan, every detail and each possible outcome almost guaranteed him Elizaveta's love. Until it was ruined by Gilbert's two cockblocking best friends. (note: funny and cute)

Táncol? : Rated K+, 24k words, 6 chapters, Humor/Romance, Complete Elizaveta is determined to find out who Gilbert wants to ask out for the school dance. If that means bullying his friends, being hired by Gilbert to slave over a cake, and invading his diaries, so be it. (note: Another favorite! Very cute)

Hello Hurricane : Rated T, 61k words, 18 chapters, Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy, Complete Sequel to "Táncol?" Elizaveta, Ludwig, Francis, and Antonio are forced to watch Gilbert slowly fade away every day. (note: It might seem like I have lots of favorites, cuz I do and this is one of them. Warning, I cried a lot towards the end. Highly recommend)

PruCan

That Song Called Love : Rated T, 62k words, 25 chapters, Romance/Drama, Complete Matthew had always resigned himself to a fate of musical obscurity on a supporting instrument, but after meeting an ex-delinquent named Gilbert, he just might learn to take the lead. (note: contains other minor pairings. Although she doesn’t play a huge role I’m so happy Vietnam is in it Dx)

Operation Not to Hot : Rated T, 10k words, 2 chapters, Romance/Humor, Complete Gilbert Beilschmidt is dorky, nerdy, and has serious confidence issues. He doesn't really care about himself until he sees Matthew Williams, AKA super-hot-hockey-jock. With Matthew's heart in mind, Gilbert undergoes a complete transformation. (note: funny story. Prussia being Prussia)

Overdue : Rated T, 12k words, 8 chapters, Romance/Supernatural, Complete "Well, Gott, Mattie, at least look someone in the eye when you tell them you're a ghost. Make a good impression!" (note: cute lil one-shot series)

I Have all Summer to Fall For You : Rated T, 162k words, 38 chapters, Incomplete At school, Gilbert makes fun of Matthew, and Matthew just wants to be left alone. But then when the hot days of summer roll around, and they have nothing but free time, things happen that NO ONE could have planned for! (note: MY ALL-TIME FAV PRUCAN FiC Ever. Probably will never finish but the length and quality make up for it)

PruAus

Please Don’t Read the Verdict : Rated M, 57k words, 11 chapters, Romance/Crime, Incomplete District Attorney Roderich Edelstein is faced with a gruesome, controversial murder. He has three months to build a case against the accused, but more than his will to prosecute may be destroyed in the process. (note: sadly not done, but highly interesting!)

Lily of the Lamplight : Rated M, 27k words, 4 chapters, Romance/Angst, Incomplete WW2 AU. Austrian musician Roderich and German soldier Gilbert are forced into an army prison unit and a fight for survival on the Russian Front. But in the midst of blood and death and hell on earth, how long can they fight their desire for each other? (note: MY 👏 FAV 👏 VERAVERSE 👏 I loveeee this fic, I’m so SAD it’s nEvEr going to be completed. Savor those 4 chapters. Luckily theyre long *cries* Also love the set of main characters, including Prussia, Austria, Berwald, and Poland. Also listen to the song the title is based off of, i luv it too)

SuFin

Cheers to a New Life : Rated M, 94k words, 47 chapters, Romance/Family, Complete Sweden could only find a job as a Kindergarten teacher and the famous Kirkland's little Peter happens to be enrolled into his class. But it is not Mr. Arthur Kirkland who is picking Peter up, it's this angel with the greatest ass Berwald's ever seen. (note: viewer discretion, mostly on later chapters. also has cute lil Peter/Sealand)

My Heart, In Segments : Rated T, 14k words, 10 chapters, Family/Hurt/Comfort, Complete Berwald is a man left alone, and Peter was a kid left behind. Berwald's not really the perfect dad, Peter's not really innocent anymore, and Tino's not really sure he's ready for something so real. But, maybe... Maybe it's time.

In Want of a Wife : Rated T, 41k words, 18 chapters, Romance/Humor, Incomplete Berwald's life is turned upside down when he is accepted into Hetalia International University, and everything changes for the better when he catches a glimpse of his future wife who lives down the hall. Who cares if Tino doesn't accept it yet? (note: Human AU; Lietpol is a bonus in all this hehe)

Treatment : Rated T, 55k words, 12 chapters, Romance/Humor, Incomplete Tino is a young psychology major, well known for being kind and eager to help others with their issues, but less so for his habit of profiling "patients" on campus. His therapist's eye has fixed on Berwald, but will he be the one who ends up on the couch? (note: Though not fully done, it’s one of my favorite sufin fics. Also hilarious bahah)

Catch Perfect : Rated T, 35k words, 8 chapters, Romance/Friendship, Incomplete When Berwald loses everything he is forced to move into a share house with an insane Dane, a sociopathic Norwegian, an unfathomable Icelander and a perfect Finn who makes it all worth putting up with. (note: can be crazy and random, which is probs why I liked it so much. also by George deValier I believe, reposted onto wattpad after it got deleted)

DenNor

Hummingbird : Rated T, 61k words, 12 chapters, Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort, Complete Lukas' only goal in life was to take care of his younger brother, until he was diagnosed with an irregular heart rhythm. His originally peaceful stay in hospital was interrupted when the loud, cheerful Mathias was moved into the bed beside him and refused to leave him alone; yet as his health began to deteriorate, the Dane decided to fall in love with him. (note: I love this fic so much, it’s also another favorite of mine. Very cute but with lots of angst, ahhh just what I ordered)

Secret Crowds : Rated M, 3.4k words, One-shot, Hurt/Comfort/Romance, Complete An explosion leaves Denmark with a permanent brain injury and Norway struggles to find his role in their relationship as the line between lover and caregiver begins to blur. (sad and touching)

I also read a lot of DenNor so im like ?? where the fics at LOL. but i think i read more DenNor doujinshis, so that’s def something yall should look into

Spamano

A Beautiful Story : Rated T, 16k words, 10 chapters, Tragedy/Romance, Complete Lovino Romano Vargas is a suicidal designer who is unhappy with his fate. One day, he chances to meet Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, who turns his life upside down.

Flashlight : Rated T, 38k words, 11 chapters, Parody/Romance, Complete "If I throw a tomato at you, vampire bastard, will you still sparkle under the sauce?" (note: OKAY SO This is actually a Twilight parody w Romano as Bella and Spain as Edward. I don’t really like Twilight but I really like this version of it lmao. Funny and a good read. Mostly Romano’s POV, cRACK )

New Batteries : Rated T, 41k words, 10 chapters, Humor/Romance, Complete Sequel to Flashlight. "WELL, I NEVER LIKED YOU, EITHER. WHAT NOW, YOU STUPID SPARKLY EXCUSE OF A VAMPIRE?" (note: also a parody, just the sequel to the previous one listed. I understand the Twilight plot through these better than the original)

Kismet : Rated M, 174k words, 52 chapters, Romance/Fantasy, Complete Lovino learns the hard way that things change and that they can change quickly. The necklace fell and now he's in a strange land far from home. Will he ever see his brother again? Will he find his way home? Or will he discover home is where the heart is? Fate is a strange woman and can work in mysterious ways. (note: RATED M, viewer discretion. the author has a list of warnings on the first chapter you can look at so you know what you’re reading. Fantasy AU)

Catch You, Catch Me : Rated M, (basically)37k words, 7 chapters, Drama/Romance, Complete Clumsy, clueless detective Romano is on the trail of the infamous handsome and charming thief El Apasionado Caballero. But there's more to this, what seems like a simple game of cat and mouse, than meets the eye.

The Bet : Rated T, 20k words, 9 chapters, Romance/Humor, Complete When someone kisses you, and then moves away you'd think that would be it. But when Antonio comes back from Spain he wants Lovino to be his again. Except Lovino now hates Antonio...which sucks for Lovino because Antonio isn't going to let go that easily.

Zero Tolerance : Rated M, 55k words, 24 chapters, Romance/Drama, Complete Lovino lives a perfect life. Or atleast thats how he is suppose to appear. Antonio lives a life as a dangerous gangbanger. North Side meets South Side as these two are partnered in their Chemistry class. But there is one chemical reaction these 2 arent prepared for- Love. (highschool AU)

Breathless in the Atmosphere : Rated T, 31k words, 3 chapters, Hurt/Comfort/Romance, Complete Antonio only needed money for marble. He needed to make his art. And a chance encounter on the subway offers him a job as a male escort. It was just for the money. He could stop anytime he wanted to. Really. (note: viewer discretion advised. contains prostitution and suicidal ideation)

Before the Snow Falls : Rated T, 19k words, 2 chapters, Romance/Drama, Complete Lovino, jersey number nine, right winger. He was ready to pass the ball, ready to set up the win, but Antonio, opposite team, center fielder, was ready too. Someone thought, and someone didn't, and they crashed. Hard. A few months later, Lovino's on crutches, Antonio has scholarships, and they have to deal with the aftermath of what happened.

Door to Door : Rated T, 3.5k words, One-shot, Humor/Romance, Complete Do not open the door. It could be a zombie, an unwanted boyfriend of your brother's, or a persistant salesman by the name Antonio Carriedo.

Numbered Lithograph : Rated M, 133k words, 29 chapters, Drama/Romance, Complete When Lovino starts attending art school with his brother he finds his most important lesson doesn't come from his professors, but from a culinary student at a sister school: sometimes the flaws hold the beauty. (note: Probably my favorite spamano fic. Very touching. Has fluff and angst)

Bésame Mucho : Rated M, 48k words, 6 chapter, Angst/Romance, Incomplete WW2 AU. Lovino Vargas only ever wanted something exciting to happen in his boring, everyday Italian village existence. He never expected war, Resistance, love, passion, treason, or a cheerful, confusing, irritatingly attractive Spanish freedom fighter. (note: ANOTHER 👏 ONE 👏OF👏MY👏FAVS👏 BUT SAD BC ITLL NEVER FINISH HDUEOFREGH. Also by George DeValier and reuploaded onto wattpad (originally on ff.net)! I’m in love with the writing. Incomplete but sooo worth the read.)

Bad Touch Trio (may or may not contain pairings/slight pairings)

Oh No, We’re Hot : Rated T, 1.4k words, One-shot, Friendship/Humor, Complete In which, after a summer apart, the Bad Touch Trio realizes that they have become really attractive. Really slight hinted Spamano. (note: I absolutely love the BTT, this is a cute short fic about them)

The Trap : Rated T, 4.7k words, One-shot, Friendship/Humor, Complete The prompt was Prussia and Spain meeting France for the first time, thinking he's a girl, kiddy-courting him, then finding out he's a boy, but still kiddy-courting him. Exactly as wacky as it sounds. (note: another cute story about the BTT and their rad friendship! I need this in my life)

Multiple Pairings

Playing Cupid : Rated T, 24k words, 15 chapters, Romance/Humor, Complete In Everett High School there is a secret club called the yaoi club. It is their job, during Sadies, to set up couples. This year Elizabeta has an ambitious plan. She is going to find a date for the infamous Lovino Vargas. Her choice is Antonio, unfortunately half the girls want to ask him too. Will she and her friends succeed? Spamano, UsUk, Prucan, GerIta, others (note: very cute highschool AU! highly recommend! also contains many of the hetalia girls, which is amazing~)

No Pairings

Bad Pasta : Rated T, 13k words, 6 chapter, Mystery/Tragedy, Complete Kiku and Arthur trade rooms. (note: Author also made a game based on this posted on deviantart: Bad Pasta game. I really liked it, especially since I’m into hetalia fangames and whatnot. warning, contains death of characters)

Fun with Former Vikings : Rated K+, 63k words, 17 chapters, Friendship/Family, Complete Brothers that are too awkward to even stand next to each other, husband and 'wife,' and that one guy that drinks a lot. The Nordics couldn't be any more different. And neither could the situations they get themselves into. (note: I love love love the Nordics. This is also probably one of my all-time favs. I love them as bros Dx)

God Only Threw the Humans out of Paradise : Rated K+, 4.5k words, One-shot, Friendship, Complete 12 years is nothing in the life of a Nation. But to a puppy, it's a lifetime. This is a look at 12 years of England's life through the eyes of man's best friend.

Gutters : Rated M, 98k words, 20 chapters, Adventure/Drama, Complete 'The Calamity' has left the world stripped and dying. Alone in a civilian bunker in Munich, Sealand will be reunited with the last known living member of his surrogate family and together, they will set out across Europe to find those they have lost. (note: It’s an adventure story starring Sealand and Denmark. Can be really intense and eMOTIONAL i cried like a bitch, highly recommend. Probably one of my 👏 favorite👏 fics of all time)

Ditches : Rated M, 2.4k words, 2 chapters, Drama/Family, Incomplete Prequel to Gutters. In the days leading up to The Calamity, the world braces and families struggle not to be torn apart.

Breathe Me : Rated T, 66k words, 21 chapters, Angst/Hurt/Comfort, Complete "God I'm so fat." "No, Alfred. You're not. You're –" "Stop it! I am and you know it! The whole world knows! Just stop okay?" Trigger Warning, Human AU, and F.A.C.E. Family. (note: very important TRIGGER WARNING due to mention of eating disorders, verbal abuse, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts.)

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morphituu · 5 years ago

Text

Milagro

Chapter 14: “Goodbyes”

Ch: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13

2 Months Later

She was taping another box stuffed to its limit when the glittering piano loop started droning through the house, stirring a long sigh from Callie before her head dropped back, waiting.

“Why’re men great ‘til they gotta be great?” came Nick’s voice carrying from the kitchen.

“Again with the song,” she intoned, looking back down at the box she was securing with packing tape. She could hear the twisting of the ice trays before dropping cubes in glasses, all the while singing to himself as he prepared drinks.

She did her best to ignore the song, it having been the thousandth time she’d heard the tune in only a weeks time, and she even made extra loops around boxes with the tape so the tearing of it drowned out some of the noise still coming in.

A tall glass of cold tea popped up beside her along with Nick, a sheepish grin meeting her when she looked up suspiciously, again waiting. She sipped, her eyes fluttering when the cold drink washed away some of the stifling heat that made its way under her sweaty skin in the spare room they’d spent all of the muggy morning cleaning out.

“That’s good,” she groused, pushing her glasses up to press the chilled cup to her flushed cheek. The ceiling fan above them did nothing to help, only pushing around the stuffy air even as the breeze swept across her damp arms and stomach she’d lifted her shirt from some time ago. As soon as the warm weather had hit LA, wearing anything over her sizable stomach had simply become bothersome, resulting in sports bras and boy shorts being her new go-to.

“You coulda had a bad bitch, noncommittal,” Nick started up again, swaying his hips in time with his side to side bounces behind her after he’d taken off his own soaked shirt, leaving him in old jeans.

“Oh my god Nick,”

“Help you with you career, just a little,” he went on, picking up the box she’d finished packing and dancing it out of the room.

“How do you have so much energy?” she whined, arching into her hands that pressed into the achy crook of her spine.

“Cuz I get to see my baby today,” Nick came back in with a wide smile and shimmying shoulders that coaxed a reluctant grin onto Callie’s lips before he dipped behind her to wrap his brawny arms under her bust and shoulders.

“Nooo, we’re all sweaty,” she griped, ultimately melting in his arms when he only squeezed tighter. He swayed her gently as he mumbled soft words of delight in regards to her scent after pressing his nose against her neck, reminding her how much he liked when she was sweaty. It made her groan, her head landing back against his chest while his hands wandered down her sides.

“You’re getting so big,” he admired, trailing the full curve of her stomach even when she groaned in discomfort.

“If anyone else said that I’d tear their kneecaps out,” she mumbled bitterly, stirring a throaty chuckle from Nick. “C’mon, we gotta get this done,” she tried wiggling from his hold.

“We don’t have to finish it today,” he reminded, reluctantly letting go after nibbling her bare shoulder playfully.

“But wouldn’t it be nice to come home and set up the crib?” she questioned, grunting when she hoisted up another box to sort through.

“Will you stop with the heavy lifting?” he barked, taking the box from her.

“If you’d stop dancing around and help me with this I wouldn’t have to,” she pointed out, but he only mocked her, flinching from the slap against his arm. “We should look at storage units after the appointment today, I don’t know where we’ll find space to put all of this,” she exhaled, holding her cheeks as her eyes roamed over the various belongings they’d both stuffed into the room through the years.

“Hey,” he took a step backwards with another crate of junk in his arms. “Don’t stress, if push comes to shove I can throw stuff out,”

“What- no! We just need to organize it,” she reasoned, and although it took a moment, she finally understood his little grin once her own words really sank into the growing anxiousness collecting in her chest. She was thinking too far ahead again when all the could do was just sort and toss; worry about the now, not the future, he’d say.

“You’re not feelin’ it today, are you?” he asked, and she shook her head.

“It’s hot, and Leo has been lunging since like, three AM and the braxton hicks,” she trailed off, holding her hand over her eyes, swaying side to side to calm the ever erratic Leo.

“Let’s just finish this later then. Go take a shower and relax ‘til we have to leave,” he tried.

“I just wanna get it done so we don’t have to come back to it. Please? I know I’ve been a cranky bitch all morning, I’m sorry, but can we just get this over with?” she plead, her chin bumping his shoulder.

Nick sighed. “Are you sure you don’t need to sit down?”

“I promise I’m fine, I just need a shower when this is all done,”

He pursed his lips, looking her up and down once. She really didn’t show any signs of physical stress besides being bugged by the heat. “Alright, let’s get this done.”

They’d started at the crack of dawn, and by noon managed to clear the cluttered room enough to uncover and open the window at the far end of the room, both of them sighing in pleasure when the cool breeze from outside at last drifted in. There were boxes upon boxes stacked over bags, most of which ended up piled around the garbage outside, but the more important items were neatly organized and restacked under the patio in preparation to be taken to storage, whenever that would be.

Nick tugged in the wide, heavy box containing Leo’s crib as she finished vacuuming the plush carpet that had been almost untouched since he’d first moved in nearly a decade ago, moving aside so he could prop it under the window.

“Didn’t realize how big it is in here,” she grunted while sitting at the center of the floor, her legs outstretched and leaning back on her hands.

“Should be able to put a dresser and rocker in here, too,” Nick estimated, sitting beside her.

Callie hummed, looking at all the corners and blank walls. “Now what color?”

“Blue?”

She snorted. “Boring,”

“It’s a boy color,” he argued.

“It’s not Leo though,” she explained, head tilting. “I feel golden-brown,”

“You gonna want it to be glittery too?” he teased, but she smacked his thigh with the back of her hand. An agonized groan brought his eyes to her, watching as her back tensed and her toes curled. “Bad one?”

“They’re not bad, just annoying when they stack up like that all day. It’s worse at work with those awful chairs,”

“Speaking of, you’re supposed to be on maternity leave already,” he confronted, shooting her a vexxed glare.

“I’m waiting as long as possible, you know I get stir crazy,” she mumbled.

“Is it worth that though?” he pointed out when another cramp seized her concentration.

“It’s only another week, calm down,” she waved his concern away, imitating his chuff when he fired one at her. She was getting better at that.

“It’s hard just watching you walk around on those heels sometimes,”

“I’ve seen moms keep going at 40 weeks and not complain, I’m fine at 28,”

“How many of them were high risk though, you stubborn mule?” he teased, but she only giggled and grinned, appreciative of his sympathy, but he probably didn’t realise that although the chairs at work caused her stressed back further misery, she did a lot more sitting than walking around during the day, so the heels were the least of her worries.

A strong kick outwards prompted a wince and soft grunt, her hand falling to her stomach. “Someone’s awake,”

“I saw that one,” Nick grinned, poking the spot he’d seen a foot or elbow, or maybe even a knee push out. He found great enjoyment in pressing the spots across her stomach Leo pushed first, sometimes getting a little shove from the same spot.

“Okay you two, enough,” she slapped his hand away, Nick springing up to help her stand when she struggled onto her knees. “The shower is calling me.”

Callie waddled her way to the bathroom after Nick told her he’d be in the back for a bit. She stripped the sweaty bra and shorts off, running her fingers through her shaggy undercut with a sound of displeasement before letting her long hair down from its lopsided bun.

The water remained cold once she stepped under the stream, both shivering and moaning when it bled across her scalp. The sweat and dust caked on her skin and hands washed away as she scrubbed the luscious bubbles across herself, her jaw even hanging open in bliss when she scrubbed her scalp heatedly.

When she finished shaving her legs- with some difficulty- she glanced downwards, taken aback when she remembered she couldn’t even see her feet anymore.

Callie huffed, placing the razor back in the shower caddy.

I need to get waxed.

The cold shower left her feeling the warmth lingering in the house again once she padded her way to their room, dropping the towel around her feet and beginning her ritual of bathing in lotion and cocoa butter.

She’d managed to keep the stretch marks that still grew dully along her stomach and hips mostly at bay, but with every week that Leo grew rapidly, the more they started to show across her tanned skin like scars. Generous palmfuls of the body butter was lathered into her skin, even across her breasts and ass where she could see the evidence of further weight gain her resilient cravings caused.

She turned before the mirror to make sure she covered the crow across her back in goo evenly before moving onto the heartagrams down her sides, but slowly stopped the longer she stared at her reflection.

Often, even before Nick, she’d stared at her form and wondered what she would look like in late pregnancy, daydreaming how kicks felt and if the pregnancy glow really existed. To now be blessed enough that it only took a small lift of her hand to feel her own baby flutter beneath her fingers sometimes left her in awe, amazed that her once temperamental body now chose to support life.

She held her hair up, overlooking everything from her chin down to her toes; her swollen toes, that was.

Callie didn’t think herself to be otherworldly, maybe decent at best, but even she could admit her body took to pregnancy well compared to others. She’d avoided the breakouts early on and even though some days she grew pale from the nausea, her skin was soft and supple from all the lotion she caked on daily. The Orkish prenatals had made her waves luscious, cascading around her shoulders and back when she dropped her locks.

Her arms wrapped loosely around herself, lifting a knee onto her tippy toes and turning to gaze at the side profile of her curved, pregnant body; a pose she often took when sending photos to Nick to torture him while he worked.

But even now basking in the thin stream of sunlight coming in, inspecting every new pound that widened her hips or filled out her ass, she felt good; there was nothing she’d change about herself in this moment.

“Should I get naked too?”

She scoffed before even turning to find Nick leaned in the doorway and stunningly shirtless with his jeans riding low on his hips, but the Clumbasters hid his hungry eyes.

“You need to shower,” she directed weakly with a wide smile, butterflies erupting in her gut when he was already placing his sunglasses down and sauntering up to her.

He was careful not to brush her shimmering skin when he leaned down to capture her mouth in a soft kiss, but he couldn’t, just couldn’t stop from touching her when the soft whispers grew heated and the yearn he’d felt spike in his chest upon finding her naked before the mirror skyrocketed.

It started at her face, his thumbs tracing under her heavy eyes when he kissed her how she loved; deep ones, his tongue teasing her parted lips until she was inclining to chase his mouth. After that, neither of them cared how clean she was or how sweaty and coated in dirt he was.

The throaty whine she emitted provoked his own soft groan, looping an arm around her waist when her weight shifted against him.

She turned boneless in his embrace, pressing hungry kisses into his collar as he moved her hair aside to ravish her throat in soft bites and sucks, greedily digging his fingers into her bare ass cheek when she stroked his growing cock through the jeans.

A resonating growl blossomed in his chest, her essence dizzying him with every deep inhale or taste of her tongue. He was already so fucking drunk on her that he had to blink away the fog before his eyes, his body rigid with anticipation, wanting to sink his dick into her until he found the back of her pussy.

“You’re going into heat soon, aren’t you?” she breathed, her damp hair tossed around her face and following his steps as he moved her back towards the bed. Nick smirked; he smelled the spike in her arousal when she asked.

“Maybe,” he growled, but he knew two days ago it was coming. He’d woken up flushed and rock-hard with no recollection of any dreams to have caused it, but upon passing their calendar besides the door, it made sense once taking note of the days marked ahead of time.

Even if Callie wasn’t on her monthly cycle, his body was, and still wanted to breed.

He lowered her carefully, his mouth detaching from her nipple with an audible pop so he could press wet kisses under her chin, pulling her knees from beneath him.

“A quickie,” she exhaled, her touch fluttering across his shoulders.

“Uh-huh,” he mumbled into her lips, moving to drag his mouth down between her breasts.

“Nooo,” she lamented, trying to pull him back up, but he pinned her hands down as he grinned deviously up at her, running his cheek down her stomach. “You’re gonna see my double chins!”

“Not with my face in your pussy,” he growled, sending a flush across her cheeks and goosebumps down her sides.

He fucking loved when a calf came to rest across his shoulder blade after maneuvering over her stomach and between her thighs, kissing her clit before spreading her lips. He salivated as he admired her glistening sex, his painfully hard dick twitching in the uncomfortable confines of his jeans.

When his hot tongue lapped at her, sucking gently against her clit as he purred, a desperate cry cracked in her throat, his arms curling around her thighs to keep her still. He listened intently to the way she sobbed his name, smiling when he found a luscious spot and her thighs closed around his head.

“Dame más.” She gasped. Nick grinned against her cunt.

Fuck the quickie.

↠

Callie elbowed him after the other Orc stepped out of the elevator, their brief exchange having not gone unnoticed by her.

She knew as soon as they stepped on that he’d smell it on Callie; Nick’s seed left deep inside her, the indication even sharper since he’d gone into heat. Forget the baby he’d stuck in her- Orcs would smell the fresh fucking above anything. She’d also caught Nick puffing his chest, his arm sliding from her shoulders to around her neck.

“Don’t you think the stomach already proves you fucked me?” she asked lowly once they were alone, but he snorted.

“Still good to let ‘em know who does the fucking.” He smiled cockily, earning a roll of her eyes as the elevator opened to their floor.

He eased up on the Orkish displays as they entered the waiting room filled only with humans and found their seats after picking up the same, extensive check-in forms she’d nearly memorized by heart. Nick looked on lazily until she finished, both of them looking around at the many sets of eyes staring at them curiously before disregarding them and pulling their phones out.

Callie frowned at her screen, bumping Nick’s elbow.

“Look at Yareli,” she handed over the phone to show him Patricia’s two month old, chubby cheeked with dark eyes and a full head of hair grinning gummily at the camera.

“Oh God,” Nick said affectionately, zooming in to see how her round cheeks narrowed her almond eyes.

“She’s so cute,” Callie sighed, pouting before she closed the photo and responded to Rosie.

“You wanna see her, don’t you?” he asked, his chin rested in his palm.

Callie nodded, pursing her lips. “But Trish is back to hating me,”

“What’s it this time?”

“Fuck if I know,” she exhaled, adjusting in her seat and twirling her hair over the opposite shoulder, then fixing her tight, twisted tank dress around her stomach. “Why did I decide on this dress?”

“It’s easier to pull up dresses than push down pants,” he recited as he skimmed Facebook.

She only grumbled, finally finding a favorable spot that was with his hand between her thighs so she could lean comfortably on his stretched arm, watching the videos he scrolled through.

“I wonder how Dura is doing,” she mentioned.

“Well they’re home already,”

“Yeah but I know what it’s like seeing your boyfriend all mangled in a hospital bed,”

He shrugged. “He wasn’t mangled though,”

Callie flicked his hand. “She broke seven of his ribs,”

“The burns too,” he shuddered, recalling the poor condition Sergey had been in when they last visited.

Callie’s arms were already open once they’d stepped through the heavy hospital door, squeezing Dura tightly when she melted into her embrace.

“How’re you doing? Are you eating okay?” Callie questioned, pulling back to rub Dura’s arms.

“It’s hospital food, but it’s still food,” she sniffled, wiping her eyes.

“I brought some food that the nurses said you could keep in the fridge, okay? You need to keep your meals up for that little one,” Callie insisted, holding the sides of her small belly that had just started to show at a surprising three weeks along.

Dura smiled weakly, moving to hug Nick when he came at her with open arms too before they followed her through the shared hall and into Sergey’s room.

“What the hell happened to you two?” Sergey rasped, propped up with a multitude of pillows and gown open to let the ointment spread across the shallow burns over his chest and face. Callie retracted quicker than she meant after leaning over to give him a careful hug and kiss on the cheek, glancing at Nick.

“Yeah I was going to say, you two look like you were in a car accident,” Dura pointed out, motioning towards the overall mangled appearance Nick and Callie had walked in with.

“We were at that explosion on 31st,” Callie beat Nick to one of the poorly constructed excuses that was piecing together in his head.

“Really? How close? I’m surprised you two didn’t see Sergey there,” Dura’s swollen eyes widened.

“Yeah, how close?” Sergey piped, his lips mashed together in a riled scowl and glaring at Nick.

Thankfully Dura missed his temperamental tone, instead making herself busy trying to declutter the room they’d been stuck in for two weeks already, but Callie’s insistence that she relax eventually halted her frantic efforts as Nick found a seat on Sergey’s other side.

“How much longer are you in for?” Nick asked.

“Until I can take care of these at home. That explosion really fucked me up,” he emphasized his words with a hard stare, but Nick could only show his apologetic look partially; they were under contract not to talk about this shit and here Sergey was being… Sergey.

Callie sensed the boiling temper. “Do you have to do the breathing exercises? Nick hated those when he broke his ribs,” she tried, Nick nodding fervently when she eyed him.

Sergey only chuffed, staring blankly at the TV even as Dura leaned towards him in confusion, her hairless brows knit together.

“How’re you feeling? How’s the baby?” Callie distracted her quickly too, and for a second time Nick exhaled lowly in relief, running his hands down his face.

“Oh- I’m good, it’s good, I’ve just been kind of side-tracked lately so I haven’t really… thought about it,” she trailed off, pulling on her earlobe nervously.

“You’ll be amazed at how often you can forget that when it’s attached to you,” Callie smiled, the two giggling.

When Sergey remained unmoving, and expressionless, Nick slyly motioned his head towards the door and Callie nodded.

“Hey let’s go get some lunch, our treat! We’ll bring something back for the guys, yeah?” Callie asked Dura, already standing and pulling her along despite Dura looking back at Sergey in concern.

“Don’t let him get up, Nick!” Dura called, pushing into her slippers and grabbing her sweater as Callie ushered her out of the door.

It wasn’t until he heard the second door latch did Nick scoop the remote up and turn the TV off, forcing Sergey to look at him even if the stare was bitter.

“I’m sorry,” Nick said first, sincerely, but Sergey shook his head. “I never thought you would be a part of this,”

“I don’t even know what all of this is!” he hissed, wincing when his ribs spasmed. “They told me nothing about her and instead swore me to secrecy or my life is thrown away with it’s key!”

“It’s best if you don’t know about any of it-”

“How can you say that when I was attacked? By that psycho?”

Sergey’s usually vibrant eyes were dismal, full of betrayal, and Nick swallowed his words, dropping his head. He was right.

“I was left there until someone found me-” his voice shook, looking away. Nick waited patiently, his eyes averted as his young partner wiped his eyes crudely against his shoulder with a few sniffles. He well understood the sinking hopelessness of staring up at the night sky, completely consumed with the reality that you were going to die alone. “I couldn’t even tell Dura. All she does it stay awake with me and barely eats now. Because of all of this she doesn’t remember she’s pregnant,”

Nick nodded; what words of advice could he offer when he knew Callie would have acted the same no matter how insistent he was she take better care of herself?

“You and Callie obviously weren’t at the explosion,” Sergey cleared his throat, carefully adjusting the pillows under his arms.

“No,” Nick sighed. “We were taken, with Ward, chased down by two more Brights. Callie was almost killed, we all were,” he confessed, his temple resting in his palm.

Sergey looked at him in surprise. “What?”

Nick nodded, the recollection of their ordeal still not far enough away for his liking. “It was absolute hell, but I’m sorry you were ever sucked into it, I really am,”

Sergey’s face scrunched, his temperment lessening. “What happened? To… to them? The Brights?”

“If MTF came here then you know we can’t talk about it, even to us, so don’t. Don’t let Dura know about this because it won’t happen again, trust me,” Nick lied through his reassurance even though Sergey still wasn’t satisfied with such a vague response.

“How would I even tell her anything when I know nothing?” he muttered.

Nick nodded again. “I’m really sorry Sergey. I tried to keep it under wraps but… I’m just sorry,”

Sergey ran his tongue over his clipped tusks much like Nick did when he was contemplating, and eventually shrugged, grabbing for the remote again. “You owe me lunches for a year, old man.”

Nick scoffed in addition to a long exhale of relief; he’d come in thinking Sergey was going to be the one that would be tossed away after showing reluctance, and had ultimately expected some disdain after what Nick had accidentally involved him in, but now he could relax. There was no need to get into specifics, because even though Sergey knew not of the extensive trauma he and Callie had been through, he’d had his own share and was sworn to keep the same secrets, and that was it.

“They’ll be okay,” Nick reassured, squeezing her thigh.

“Yeah I hope so,” Callie pouted, her chin resting on his shoulder, her line of sight roaming. “One of them could be the tail, huh?”

Nick too looked up, discreetly observing the many couples and mothers to be occupying the waiting room. “Could be,”

“Why would they send a pregnant one?”

“Could be a fake stomach,”

She looked at him in horror, provoking a low chuckle from Nick. “They’d do that?”

“If it means preserving their cover, then yeah I think they’d do that,” he frowned, watching her expression convey the pieces connecting in her head.

“I’m suddenly really uncomfortable,” she mumbled.

“Flores?”

They both turned at the call of her name, Nick jumping up to gently pull her from her seat. “I guess we’ll know if one of them follows us into the exam.”

“My hands are cold, I’m sorry in advance,” Callie’s doctor expressed before she started palpating her round stomach. She tensed more so from the extra pressure put on her bladder, her thighs tightening.

“She’s ticklish, watch out,” Nick mocked.

“How can you not be being poked around like this? Ahh, he’s head down now,” Dr. Sangui’s eyes moved in various directions as her hands were left to do all the imaging.

“Is that bad?”

“Not at all. He won’t be breech, which is good- we don’t want butts coming out first,”

“Doesn’t that also mean I’m gonna pop soon?” Callie asked cautiously, alerting Nick into a straighter position.

“It could, but babies can flip down as early as two months in advance so don’t solely rely on this little spin,” Dr. Sangui winked at Nick who’s shoulders were slowly relaxing.

“We still have stuff to buy,” he grieved.

“Oh I think you still have time for that- oh! Looks like someone is waking up,” she laughed, her finger following the movement under Callie’s skin.

“He seems to act up when we start talking,” Callie noted.

“Well he can hear you two by now, he’ll definitely recognize your voices when he’s born,”

“Really?” Nick perked up again, his eyes full of wonder.

“Come talk to him, I bet he’ll kick,” Dr. Sangui encouraged as she stepped away to wheel the ultrasound machine over.

Nick scampered over quickly from his seat, leaning in close to her stomach. “Leo? Leonardo Makar, do lat daggog alnej?” he sang, and when an enthusiastic punch bumped Nick’s chin, he beamed up at Callie.

“So it’s not a coincidence that he jumps around when he hears you talk,” Callie realized, and Nick’s smile only grew.

“I love you too mausan liavavle ni,” he declared softly, quickly pecking her stomach before moving back to his chair as the lights dimmed and the doctor returned with the machine.

It seemed as soon as Nick wasn’t there to lull Leo that he was unwilling to cooperate, as was the norm when trying to get a clear image of the elusive little one during ultrasounds. He spun and hid, kicking Callie in retaliation when they tried nudging him the other way.

“And, there’s your big guy,” Dr. Sangui smiled after Leo finally settled enough for her to position the probe for a perfect side profile just as his little hands had rose to rub over his face.

“Oh c’mon, I wanna see who’s nose he’s gonna have,” Callie grinned.

“He’s gonna show us at his debut,” Nick cooed warmly, absently toying with Callie’s hand as he watched Leo wiggle and nudge in his ever shrinking space.

“You’re just worried he’s gonna look more like me,”

“Damn right I am,”

“Ahh don’t be,” Dr. Sangui started as she handed Callie her scans and a towel to dry her stomach. “The father’s genes are more dominant in Orc human offspring,”

“So my nose, your color,” Callie teased.

“What if he’s your color and my nose?” Nick pondered, admittedly a little bewildered imagining a pale Orc. “I’ve never seen a human colored one before,”

“There’s been albinos, it’s actually common in halflings,”

Nick and Callie looked at one another, both of them recognizing the concern brimming their eyes.

“Okay!” she clasped her hands together. “Let’s see your kick counter.”

↠

Callie groaned below her breath, leaning back into her hand and swaying side to side even if it did little to ease the discomfort in her back and legs. The line was expectantly long, and with the woman up front chattering before they collected their bags- some ordering fifteen kilos worth of fresh, warm tortillas- had left Callie in line for close to forty five minutes and beginning to wonder where Nick had run off to in the cramped market seconds before he popped back up.

“Took you all that time to find that?” she asked, eyeing the cucumbers and Takis.

“I was looking at the pork shoulder, sassy,” he shot back, already knowing to curl his arms around her shoulders so she could lean back against his chest.

“Craving carnitas?” she sighed, letting her head fall back against his chest.

He hummed, his cheek against her temple and swaying them gently. The longer he beared some of her weight, the more the discomfort rolled off until it was tolerable, but the line was at a standstill with one of the customers asking for six bags.

Callie groaned. “We should’ve gone to Sawaya,”

“We can still go,”

“I don’t wanna lose my spot in line,” she snapped. When Nick didn’t respond, she exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry,”

“What’s up? You’ve been edgy since we left the doctors office,”

She shrugged, but still answered, “I keep thinking about what she said- about halflings coming out albino,”

Nick shifted a little, moving his chin atop her head. “Would you be upset if he came out albino?”

“Not in the way I wouldn’t love him, but more he’s going to be teased. Does it bother you?” she asked, looking up at him.

“No, never. I mean- I always worry about him being teased because… you know, but no matter how he comes out, that’s my boy, my kid. There’s not even a chance I’d ever consider skipping out if anything was wrong with him,” Nick promised, holding tighter when she wiggled closer to him. “Did I give the impression I wouldn’t be in this if that were the case?”

“No baby, I just worry. I’ve had experience with babies and toddlers and all that and a little with conditions cuz you know Francisca is autistic, but… you’ve never taken care of kids or dealt with that kind of stuff. You’re already stepping into fatherhood without experience, but adding special needs? I couldn’t gauge how you were handling that possibility,” she explained, slowly growing quieter.

“I mean it shocked me for a minute, but then the next it was just a possibility and it didn’t affect how I feel about him at all. That’s my baby boy,” he nuzzled behind her ear, grinning when she chuckled. “Nothin’ is gonna make me run, Cal,”

“Good cuz after she said he’ll likely start teething at three months it just proved I have no idea how to raise a little Nick,” she ribbed, earning a chuff against her ear that made her pull her shoulders in. “What do Orcs even use for teething?”

“Sticks,” he answered without skipping a beat, and she turned to look at him in horror. “It was a joke, dummy,”

“I think our best bet will be rubber spoons,” she mumbled. “He’s gonna tear my boobs apart,”

“He better not- I’ll throw him away if he ruins ‘em, those are mine.” Nick declared, already tensed before she landed a sturdy elbow in his gut.

By the time the line at last progressed and Nick had their own warm tortillas in arm, Callie couldn’t even sit without aching, and despite insisting she could whip up a quick dinner, he hushed her pressing and called in to their favorite Mandarin restaurant so their order was ready by the time they made the drive across town.

When Callie accompanied him inside, the usual behind the counter greeted the regular, peculiar couple warmly, doting over her growing stomach and the proud smirk Nick carried until he was called out loudly on it. Their teasing was harmless, but when a few more gathered to poke fun at the difference in their sizes, Nick still turned a few shades darker while Callie held her flushed cheeks.

Only when they promised they’d bring Leo in when he was born did they allow the couple to head out with the order and an extra side thrown in, both of them a little deflated after the whirlwind of an interaction.

No longer did she snatch the keys from him, and instead reclined in the passenger seat with the aux cable in her control. Nick’s hand always rested at her thigh or stomach, sometimes chatting softly to Leo in Orkish when he pushed against his palm.

She was slowly starting to pick up on words the more Nick rattled off around her, things like mausan beauavausan; my beauty.

It made her heart sing every time he keened lovingly, praising Leo with your kicks are so strong, my love. It seemed that now he knew Leo was always listening, he couldn’t stop doting over him, sometimes asking if he’d know the sound of his voice when he was finally able to hold him.

She hid her teary eyed blubbering behind a chicken wing she snuck from the take-out bag, handing Nick one when he whined.

A few more were munched on before they made it home, not even bothering to unpack their groceries before they sat at their table and dug in.

Often through the meal, Callie looked down to her side, expecting Pucca’s head to rest in her lap. It still stung; when she didn’t come galloping at them when the door opened, it reminded them just how much she filled the house with warmth, and every time they passed the TV, they’d brush their fingers across the cherry wood box that held her ashes, her pawprint rested beside it.

She snapped out of her trance, snorting when she caught sight of Nick struggling to stack green onions and chili flake garnish atop his wing.

Whereas usually Nick was the one to mow through tray of wings and the sides of fried rice, Callie now dominated that title, cleaning them down to the bone before washing up and crawling into bed while Nick put the groceries away.

Before he even made it into the room she was propped up against the footboard with her feet towards his pillow, ready to ask for a foot rub by the time he made it in.

She wiggled her feet with a wide smile, waiting patiently as he handed off her giant water cup filled to the brim with ice and stripped down to his briefs, finding the Firestick before flopping into bed beside her.

It was a struggle not to let his fingers trace up her smooth ankle, sometimes tapping the inside of her knee with his eyes glued to the TV. His nose was the only indicator he needed to know she was losing interest in her phone she had been scrolling through before massaged her feet, but now that his wide palms were cupping her toned calves and sliding up to her thigh, her eyes were wandering, and meeting his when he smirked.

“Again?” she asked softly, her knees parting to reveal the peach, lace panties she’d slipped on that morning after he’d made her levitate off the bed.

He nodded slowly, the amber of his eyes blacking out when his pupils dilated. His chest rose and fell with deep breaths, a low chuff sneaking in when her foot dragged over his lap, bumping his heavy dick swelling with life.

“You’re a fucking tease,” he growled, stirring a smile from her.

“How’re you even still attracted to me with this globe in the way?” she laughed as he rocked forward onto his knees to loom over her.

“Cuz I put it in you,” he breathed, moaning when he slipped his tongue in her mouth.

“You gotta take it easy on me this time,” she reminded huskily, her touch following his chiseled stomach into his briefs where he was already dripping with precum, a low groan meeting the soft squeeze of her hand.

It took a few seconds to realize the heavy fall of steps wasn’t his heart beat thrumming in his ears as he left wet kisses across her chest, and his head lifted in time to spot the shadowed figure moving in the night through their patio.

Nick shot up, the lust cleared and jumping off the bed to yank open the bedside table drawer in search of his gun.

“What- what the fuck!” she exclaimed, scrambling to sit up.

“Stay here,” he ordered, hastily stepping into his jeans again before darting down the hall and towards the back door through the laundry room.

He moved the blinds aside, the gun’s safety off and held securely in his palms as he peered out.

“What is it?”

Nick jumped, turning to glare at Callie. “I said stay there!”

“You left without saying anything!”

“Just-” he exhaled, turning back to the door.

She still squeezed her way in enough to look out beside him until he carefully nudged her back, but both of them froze when the figure stepped under the low light of the dying bulb outside.

“Is… is that?” Callie cracked, stepping back when Nick unlocked the door.

“Call Kandomere,” he instructed, and stepped into the crisp night, his blood having already run cold upon sighting Tikka.

She turned wobbling towards him, her cheeks sunken and clothes mangled, her hair matted and dirty. The lightning of her eyes still uneased him, and he kept a safe distance between them; he had no idea what mental state she was in or if the wands she’d run off with were still in her possession.

It was just like the last time he’d seen her; completely unsure if she was real or just a figment of his imagination, but scenting the air brought the sickly sweet sickness that riddled her glossy skin, and he scowled.

When she reached weakly into her jacket, he raised his gun instinctively, the maneuvers to get back to Callie before she blew them to pieces racing before is eyes. More than anything he wanted to run with Callie until he met MTF down the road; he couldn’t go through this shit again.

What if she lunges and Carried him away, to some far place he couldn’t find his way home from again?

Nick swallowed, doing his best to keep his aim true.

But instead, she produced two silent wands that fell from her grasp and onto the concrete.

She stared down at them as Nick looked between them, the frenzy rising in his body.

“I’m Dismantled,” she finally spoke, her voice croaky. “I… the Bright I found, they… it’s gone,” she brought her hands into her chest, looking at Nick with glossy eyes. “Everything is gone,” she wept, shoulders starting to shake.

Nick took a half step back.

“Everything- everything about me is dead,” she gasped. “Fero is dead and my home is gone-”

“Tikka,” Nick interjected, stifling her hiccups. “I told you to stay gone,”

Her eyes fluttered, tears racing down her dirty cheeks; where had she gone these two months to leave her in such disarray?

“I know,” she rasped, nodding. “But I wanted to apologize,”

Nick’s brows furrowed.

“The battle became yours when it never was,” she wavered, her face scrunching. “When he killed Fero, I just-”

“Tikka,” Nick raised his hands, shaking his head. “You can’t… there’s no fixing this,”

She stared at him, shaking like a leaf in the cold night.

“What’s done is done but I cannot have you here! This shit you brought with you almost fucking killed us, Tikka!”

“I know! I just, I wanted to say I’m sorry,” she pleaded, stepping towards him.

“And you said it, okay? But-” he exhaled, holding his head. The cold bite of the gun against his scalp was uncomfortable. “They’re gonna be here soon for you,”

“I know,” she smiled sadly, looking down at her fumbling hands. “I passed them walking up here,”

Nick rolled his eyes.

What fucking use they are.

“How is Daryl?” she asked, peeking at him.

Nick sighed. “He’s not working anymore. He took an early pension,”

“Is he okay though?”

“No, he’s not. We all live under MTF’s thumb and therapy doesn’t do shit, Tikka,” he snapped vehemently, and she retracted further into herself, her eyes averted.

The distant wail of sirens started to float through the night, but Nick still remained vigilant and glancing at the wands across the ground. He wouldn’t simply go off her word; at any moment she could summon those fucking things and blow them apart. In his own home, where he’d thought they’d finally escaped the madness.

He hoped to God that Callie was safely inside and not sticking her head out, but she was just as protective as he.

With the sirens came a helicopter, thundering through the night as it approached, and when Tikka looked up to shield her eyes from the light and wind whipping her hair and clothing around, Nick backed up, the wands skidding across the concrete towards him.

She looked at him again, her eyes filled with fright.

Where just a couple months ago she was composed and ready to fight, she had gone back to the cowering girl they found all those years ago, looking desperately to her only protector, and above all the disdain he held for her, it broke his heart to see her looking for someone to help her again.

The turmoil collected in his chest as the sirens blared, armored MTF officials shouting and running at her with modified guns until she had her hands above her head, sobbing under the blinding light of the helicopter.

They rushed past Nick from the back door behind him, pushing Callie into his arms when he turned.

Even as he bellowed at them, they only rushed Tikka, surrounding her with guns pointed and crosshairs covering her until she was kneeling and begging for mercy.

A flash of blue brought Nick’s attention back to the door, and was a little taken-aback to see Kandomere walking out in less than formal wear this time, but still elegant as ever.

“She got past your men again,” Nick yelled, but Kandomere shook his head.

“His remains are scattered across the car,” he replied coolly, and walked on when Nick and Callie remained silent.

Tikka met Kandomere’s metallic eyes as he approached her just as they’d cuffed and harnessed her, but something shifted in her.

Her expression washed over, her body stilling under the chaos as she glared up at him, her pupils the size of pinheads. She yanked against her constraints, her nose wrinkling in a low snarl.

Nick’s brows knit together; where had the misery gone? The fear that almost compelled him to stand before her in protection? She’d gone from prey to predator in the snap of a finger.

It wasn’t clear at what point Kandomere had collected the wands, but they were now in his grasp, glowing softly, thrumming like the gentle pulse of a hummingbird's heart. It had never occurred to Nick that he might have been a Bright, but it made sense, really. Why deal in business you have no business dealing in?

“Ron naa il- lle,” Tikka hissed, but when one was pointed to her forehead, she stiffened.

“They were never yours, either. Rilinquo,” Kandomere whispered ethereally, and all at once Tikka erupted with pained cries, the burning overtaking her form as the enchantment within her was forced out.

Nick could’ve sworn he saw a glowing from behind her eyes and deep in her throat spark and then fizzle, but she thrashed too violently to be sure.

When it had subsided, and left the dull throb across her muscles, she sobbed, her body folding over and remaining limp as they dragged her away through the backyard, the light of the helicopter following them.

Callie’s eyes lingered on Kandomere while Nick followed Tikka to watch her be loaded into transport, but he came back in time to watch them deposit the wands into the two person cases, immediately ringing and pulsating in agitation when they were confined.

Kandomere turned to look at them over the commotion still ringing through the neighborhood, neighbors standing outside their houses and even peering over the fence to see what was going on, but just as quickly as they had arrived, they were leaving, and with it the Bright that had been so elusive for so many years.

Nick didn’t know what to say; should he ask if she was okay? Would it even matter after she’d clearly come here again with ill intent?

There was a tense moment between them before Kandomere nodded tersely once, stepping past them to walk back through the house.

Nick turned, further confused.

After years of hunting her, was that really it?

She glanced at her phone; it was about to be three and neither had been able to find any form of rest or relaxation.

Looking to Nick found him still staring up at the ceiling, just as calmly as when they’d first laid in bed after awkwardly moving about their own home after it had been searched and cleared.

Neither had spoken to one another after the chaos had passed, but she could sense the unrest.

She rolled onto her side, gently running the back of her fingers against his cheek. He leaned into her touch, his eyes finally closing.

“You’re upset,” she whispered, and he nodded with a long sigh. “You didn’t want them to take her?”

His eyes opened to search for the words, but it was a long beat of silence before he answered.

“At first I felt bad about it, but she was lying again. There was a dead agent sitting in front of our house and we didn’t know it,” he murmured. “I can’t shake the feeling she’s going to pop back up again any minute,”

“You saw them take her,”

“I did, but she’s like a fucking phantom,” he grieved, running his hand down his face.

“She won’t, she can’t. Check in on it tomorrow at work,” Callie moved closer, holding his face so he looked at her. “I don’t think she’s going to come back this time, baby,”

His face sorrowed. “What if she does? What if she keeps ruining everything?”

“She’s only an Elf now, you can shoot her,” she grinned, and he scoffed. The turmoil still swirled in his gorgeous eyes, even as she angled his face to pepper soft kisses across his cheek. She knew no amount of words would calm the dread; only time would free him of such misery.

“Did my anxiety transfer to you? You’re usually my rock,” she teased softly.

“It’s this little thing,” he grumbled, poking her belly. “Every time you’re out of my sight I feel like the earth is gonna swallow you up or a fucking Bright is gonna find you. We can’t even say we’re completely safe at home,”

She pursed her lips; the idea had at first only been a small, partial thought that she didn’t think Nick would be on board with, but the closer Leo’s arrival came and taking in the past history of this house, tonight might just have been the boost she needed to bring it up.

“Let’s move,”

Nick’s eyes flickered to hers. “Move?”

“Wouldn’t you feel better being somewhere that our past didn’t know about?”

“You know I’ve thought about it before, honestly. My mom kind of planted the seed in my head a while back,” he confessed.

“Oh yeah?”

He nodded, rolling on his side to face her. “When she’s not going on about Leo she’s asking how many more we’re gonna have, saying she has a few properties she wants to show me,”

Callie smiled. “Should we?”

Nick eyed her before leaning up on his elbow. “You wanna take that on?”

“I love it here, don’t get me wrong, but I also wanna raise Leo somewhere you weren’t almost killed and I wasn’t almost kidnapped,” she relayed, pulling his chin up when he looked down in guilt. “But I’m not doing it unless you’re with me. I go where you go,”

Nick grinned, cupping her cheek before he leaned in for a long kiss; a delicate one that didn’t need fervent hands or eager tongues.

“You know if I tell my mom we wanna look at places she’s gonna expect more babies,” he chuckled against her mouth, and Callie shrugged.

“Maybe if we lead her on she’ll give us a better deal,” she simpered, giggling when he dug his fingers into her side. “So you wanna look then?”

“Yeah, let’s do it. I could always use a bigger backyard,”

“Can we throw in a dance studio for me too?” she pouted.

“Fuck it, let’s buy a mansion,” he boasted, his spirits lifting when she smiled at him.

There was a drawn moment they simply looked at one another, somehow tangled and sleep starting to fill the void where apprehension once brimmed. The longer they maintained eye contact, the wider Callie’s smile grew, her shoulders drawing in.

“What?” he chuckled.

“Thinking of it all just makes me happy, we’re gonna buy a house together,” she beamed.

“Have a baby soon,” he added.

“Babies,”

Nick’s brows perked up. “Now you’re on board with that?”

“I’ve told you from the beginning I want a bunch’a little Nick’s running around,” she cracked.

“Maybe a little Callie, too,” he pouted, forever attached to the idea of having a little girl.

“We need a big house then,”

“Like I said, a mansion,” he reiterated, but a soft smack against his chest prompted him to pull her close, her head tucked under his chin after pressing a few hard kisses to her cheek. “I love you so much,”

“I love you more,” she nuzzled his collar.

“We got way off topic again,”

“But do you feel better?”

Nick grinned to himself. “Yeah, I do.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I told you there would be fluff

Translations: -"Dame más.": Gimme more

-"Leo? Leonardo Makar, do lat daggog alnej?": Leo? Leonardo Makar, do you hear me? -"mausan liavavle ni": my little one

-"Ron naa il- lle": they are not yours

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muthaz-rapapa · 6 years ago

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Idol Precure Series: A Gratuitous Costume Parade

Because that is literally what this is. An excuse to dress everyone up in cute clothes.

Not complaining, though. The girls look fabulous~

Anyways, y’all aware they were grouped together because of what their civilian identities have in common, right?

Well, that’s how I see it so I typed this up so I can use it for reference later.

Initially, it was just a companion (?) piece to this StarPre prediction post (therefore, the StarPre girls haven’t been included yet so go check out that post until they are) but now I’ll come back to edit/update it again when more new stuff is released or I find better quality pictures.

I also have some ideas for possible new groups if they ever add or mix-and-switch the current ones but that’ll be on another post altogether to avoid confusing myself, ahaha~

Anata no kokoro o mitoshi-tai (Team “I see through your heart”)

Members: Yukishiro Honoka, Hanasaki Tsubomi, Tsukikage Yuri, Shirabe Ako, Yakushiji Saaya

At a glance, it seems like they put all the smart ones together but it’s really because these girls all wear glasses.

Yep, the meganekko group.

I mean, they are smart but the key point here is clearly the glasses. Which is a tad bit of a shame because I feel like that (moe aspect) takes away from recognizing them for their intelligence first.

On another note, interestingly enough, I believe there’s a play on words with their unit name. If you say it out loud without knowing the context, it really sounds like “I want to look into your heart”. Can someone confirm this? My amateur Japanese isn’t enough to explain it eloquently.

Others who can fit into this group: Hishikawa Rikka

Bunbu Ranbu (”Martial Dance”)

Members: Myoudouin Itsuki, Aoki Reika, Yotsuba Alice, Hikawa Iona

Martial arts practitioners.

Also, I’m pretty sure Reika knows some kendo along with kyūdō since we’ve seen her wielding a giant ice sword as Cure Beauty multiple times throughout the franchise. We just didn’t see her do it in civilian form. Hmm. :/

Others who can fit into this group: ...

Eternal Moment

Members: Higashi Setsuna (Eas), Akagi Towa (Twilight)

Former villainesses who turned good and became a main heroine.

I’m so glad they didn’t forget about their evil alter-egos cuz Eas and Twilight (or perhaps just Twilight) can be considered separate characters in their own rights so it’s nice to see them show up in advertisement again every once in a while.

Hmmm, their name though... it looks like this unit might only be intended for two people (”Eternal” for Towa and “Moment” for “Setsuna”).

That is, unless they add onto it like HNMH (see below) if they plan to include more girls into this category. If so, then...

Others who can fit into this group: Kurokawa Ellen, Lulu Amour

Mystic Diva

Members: Kurokawa Ellen, Kenzaki Makoto

Haresora Concerto (”Clear Sky Concerto”)

Members: Minazuki Karen, Hojo Hibiki

Haresora Concerto with Mystic Diva (collab?)

Additional members: Tategami Aoi

Girls with strong affiliation to music...I think?

We saw Karen playing the violin in Yes!5 Precure’s OP and her parents are famous musicians themselves (just like Hibiki’s) but I can’t recall if she ever played any instrument during any particular episode in Yes! 5 or Gogo(?). Anyways...

Mystic Diva contains those who are renowned singers from another world (I don’t think Ellen sang much after she sorta permanently remained in human form but as Siren, she was one of the top contenders next to Hummy to sing the Melody of Happiness so there’s that).

Haresora Concerto obviously are for those who practice classical instruments.

Finally, the collaboration...is it a collaboration or did they really merge the two units together? If not, then Aoi will still need to be assigned to a group and if we’re going by the above criteria, she doesn’t fit into either one (Mystic Diva isn’t really her style anyway and she’s long given up the violin to play the guitar).

Maybe they’ll come up with another unit specifically focused on the rock genre in the future cuz we have Emiru and Lulu now so that’ll be enough to start one.

Others who can fit into Mystic Diva: Lulu Amour (+ guitar) [??]

Granted, Lulu didn’t sing before she arrived in present day Hugtto but she did say she’s going to bring music back to the future so...why not count that and the future as “another world”, hmm?

Others who can fit into Haresora Concerto: Yotsuba Alice (piano), Haruno Haruka (violin), Akagi Towa (violin), Kaidou Minami (violin) [??]

I don’t really associate Minami with music even though she is skilled at playing the violin. It’s just that compared to Towa and Haruka where the violin played a significant part in their story arcs, Minami and the violin is more secondary (pfft, not even) to her connection with the sea. But then again...Karen is in this group so I dunno :S

Did I forget anyone else who plays a classical instrument? I feel like I’m missing someone...

Others who can join the collab: Everyone listed above + Kasugano Urara (singing), Aisaki Emiru (singing, piano, violin and guitar)

Haruka Nozomu Mirai no Hana (”Wishing for the Flower of the Far Off Future”)

Members: Yumehara Nozomi, Haruno Haruka, Asahina Mirai, Nono Hana

The dream chasers.

And by far, the unit I find the most aesthetically pleasing. ^^

Also, I feel like some people would try to argue that Mirai “didn’t have a goal and therefore, she doesn’t belong in this group” so as she is my beloved daughter, I need to make them eat the dirt of their WRONGNESS.

Because MahoPre’s epilogue obviously showed her trying to find a way to reunite with Riko and Ha-chan, aka bring their two worlds together again, so that definitely counts as her dream (not to mention, the most ambitious one out of everybody else’s in this group). Furthermore, if you actually watched MahoPre more closely, you would know her dream of the two worlds coming together came to her gradually rather than happening at a particular moment and was solidified after she had to separate from her team after the Big Boss fight in the finale.

And you know what? Her wish was fulfilled in the end so y’all can suck it. :P

Others who can fit into this group: ...

Home Maid

Members: Kujo Hikari, Minamino Kanade, Madoka Aguri, Omori Yuko, Usami Ichika, Arisugawa Himari

Cooking or maybe, more accurately, sweets enthusiasts? *makes side eye at Aguri*

Well, besides that, they also either helped out at a restaurant or provided a service that had something to do with food (tea ceremony in Aguri’s case).

Hence, the “maid” part, I guess...

...but if so, then this is a poster for a maid cafe, not an idol unit! :P

Others who can fit into this group: Hyuuga Saki (family runs a bakery) [?], Akimoto Komachi (family runs a Japanese confectionery shop) [?], Hino Akane (family runs an okonomiyaki restaurant) [?], Haruno Haruka (family runs a Japanese confectionery restaurant) [?], Kotozume Yukari (learned from her grandmother how to perform tea ceremonies) [?], Kirahoshi Ciel (owns her own sweets restaurant), Nono Hana (grandparents ran a Japanese confectionery shop)

With the exception of Ciel, a lot of “?” cases here because similar to the Karen/Minami in Haresora Concerto, their main interests don’t particularly lie in cuisine and most of them never stated any intention of carrying on their family business. So it’s really up to whether you want them in this unit or not. Personally, I think Home Maid has enough members already so...

Oh and Hana was crossed off the list since she became the president of her own company at the end of Hugtto.

M.V.P.

Members: Misumi Nagisa, Hyuuga Saki, Natsuki Rin, Hino Akane, Midorikawa Nao

This one’s self-explanatory. Athletes. Sporty types.

Not much else to say.

Others who can fit into this group: Hojo Hibiki, Kagayaki Homare (?)

Yes, while Homare does participate in a sport, singles figure skating is mostly an individual event so the MVP title can’t really be applied to her. I guess that was the reasoning behind why she wasn’t placed in this group even though that’s what she’s most known for.

Osha-Revolution

Members: Kurumi Erika, Shirayuki Hime, Kagayaki Homare

The fashionistas!

This is my most favorite idol unit name out of all the others not only because it sounds like the most cleverly thought out but also because just hearing the word “revolution” gets the legendary Utena Revolution OP playing in my head again. *jams to the beat*

Thankfully, it’s got no connection to this idol series cuz *GAAASP*......*whispers* no.

Anyways, I’m glad it’s universally agreed upon that Erika and Hime would get along like five runways crisscrossing simultaneously at Fashion Week. Adding Homare to this lineup is appropriate because she’s always being complimented for dressing so stylishly.

Also, having someone as tall as her stand in between Erika and Hime like a giraffe hanging between two Hyacinth Macaws, lol is really...picture perfect.

Others who can fit into this group: ...

Secret Lives

Members: Mimino Kurumi, Hanami Kotoha, Kirahoshi Ciel

Mascots who can transform and became one of the main heroines in their respective seasons.

I like their aesthetic, too. Even though they give off cute vibes as much as any of the other idol groups, there’s still a “mystery” air about them.

Others who can fit into this group: Kurokawa Ellen (?)

Ermmm...Ellen was a mascot but she wasn’t aligned with the good side in the beginning. And after she became a Cure, she didn’t revert back to cat form again... *shrug*

Soushi⇄Souai (”Mutual Love with Creativity”)

Members: Mishou Mai, Akimoto Komachi, Hoshizora Miyuki, Kise Yayoi

Those whose strongest weapon is the pen (or brush) in their hand. Or something like that? I was trying to go for something more artful but I guess not. :P

This group’s name gave me a little trouble in translating but I think what I settled for in the end gets the idea across well enough. They love creating so much that they’ll be rewarded in kind with lots of inspiration.

...which sounds a bit unfair for everyone else suffering creative blocks but okay.

Others who can fit into this group: Nono Hana

Triple Heart

Members: Momozono Love, Aida Mana, Aino Megumi

The love-obsessed.

Not much else to say here either.

Others who can fit into this group: ...

Up to Me

Members: Aono Miki, Izayoi Riko, Kotozume Yukari

The Ladies.

At least that’s what I like to think them as. “Up to Me” gives off the impression of a very decisive person. Along with how mature they act, these girls fit that description to their own special degrees.

Like, Miki is very focused on her modeling career and confident she’ll go far, Riko has good work ethic and always aims for her goals and Yukari is, well, good at almost everything and is also a very “my pace” kind of woman.

...they all have purple hair, too, so I’m wondering if that’s another prerequisite for being added to this unit.

Others who can fit into this group: Tsukikage Yuri, Kenzaki Makoto (?)

Yuri would fit in no problem but Makoto I’m still teetering back and forth on...

Urara*Kirara

Members: Kasugano Urara, Amanogawa Kirara

Ra♪Raa♪Raaa♪Raaaa♪Raaaaa♪ Suīto Suīto Puri-Kyu=AH♪

Girls who aspire for the stage (acting and signing for Urara and modeling for Kirara) and have “-rara” in their names.

If that’s the case here, guess this is another unit meant for anyone who fits those limited criteria. Otherwise...

Others who can fit into this group: Aono Miki (modeling), Kenzaki Makoto (singing)

White Coat Angels

Members: Yamabuki Inori, Hishikawa Rikka, Kaidou Minami, Kenjou Akira

Those with a future in medicine.

But Minami...hmm, well, though it was never clearly stated what her profession was (I don’t think?) when she grew up, she could’ve gone on to become a wildlife veterinarian after she achieved her degree in marine biology so yea, she counts.

Others who can fit into this group: Minazuki Karen, Yakushiji Saaya

Exclusive??

Kiratto! Open to All

Members: Kira Kira Precure a la Mode

Twin Love

Members: Aisaki Emiru, Lulu Amour

Pretty damn sure the first one was made specially just for KiraPre. No other girls sport blatant animal imagery on them. Plus, there’s no point in including anymore members than how many this group already has.

As for Twin Love, it’s a canon idol pair unit in Hugtto. Adding anyone else in it would not make it “Twin” Love anymore.

So that leaves the question of where Emiru and Lulu will go in the next series, I guess. Though I’m sure they’ll stick together wherever they’re assigned.

Side B

Royal Road

Members: Kokoda Koji (Coco), Natts, Ouji Masamune, Prince Kanata

Fairy Five

Members: Amai Shiro (Syrup), Pop, Raquel, Lance, Aroma

Did anyone else think that “Side B” also stood for “Side Boys” before Dark Party was released? (And yes, I know what a B-side track is so you don’t have to tell me)

Anyways, Royal Road is obviously for the prince characters (though I don’t think they really needed to add Ouji-senpai since he’s just a minor recurring character, not supporting but whatever) and Fairy Five is for the younger male mascots who can transform.

Others who can fit into Royal Road: Prince Zeke, Wakamiya Henri, Aisaki Masato (?)

If Dark Dream can join an idol unit despite being a movie-only character, then I don’t see why they can’t integrate Prince Zeke into this unit as well. All that matters is how popular or memorable he was in HaCha’s movie because everyone who was picked out for Side B had to have had an impact on the audience one way or another. But at least Zeke makes more sense than Ouji-senpai.

Henri needs no explanation as he is the “Prince of the Ice” but if you want a prince to accompany his occasional “princess” role, including Masato wouldn’t be a bad idea. Though I still think Masato’s more of a knight than a prince.

Others who can fit into Fairy Five: Kuroro (?)

Granted, Kuroro only got a human form by combining powers with Lock in the final battle of Go!Pri and hasn’t technically earned it yet since he only begun fairy training when the season ended...but if he can, why not?

The Enemy Boys

Members: Irisawa Kiriya, Luntarou (Wolfrun), Kurosu (Close), Rio (Julio/Pikario)

Off-White

Members: Soular, Westar, Phantom, Shut

“The Enemy Boys” ...more like “School Infiltrators” since they were the few among villains to pose as students in order to get closer to the Cures.

Off-White consists of bishounen villains who eventually came around to understanding and siding with the good side. Which explains the “off white” part, I guess, since it wasn’t an immediate reform for them but a more gradual one that needed a lot of persuasion and thinking.

Others who can fit into The Enemy Boys: ...

Others who can fit into Off-White: Charaleet

Precure Legendary Heroes

Members: Cure Fire (Ban Kenji), Cure Sebastian (Sebastian)

Dark Party

Members: Dark Dream, Dark Precure, Regina, Bibury Vibry

Legendary Heroes is clearly a parody of the Precure franchise itself but since we already grew out of those jokes thanks to Hugtto, I’m hoping I won’t see any updates for this group ever again. And I will be absolutely livid if they dare to put Cure Infini in this unit because that is not funny.

Dark Party needs no extensive explanation as they were former nemesis/rivals to the Cures who never really got a “good” form even after their Heel-Face Turn (Dark Precure didn’t even get one of these). Which is fine because that’s essentially their charm. What makes dark magical girls so appealing is how awesome they are even when they’re “evil”.

Also gotta love the gothic lolita clothes that a number of them usually wear. If they didn’t keep Side B separate from Side A, I totally would’ve liked to put Eas and Twilight in this group as well.

Others who can fit into Dark Party: ...

List of updates under the cut...

[1/29/19] - Post published.

TBA

#idol precure #precure #precure all stars #i hate that the formatting i want to use looks so hideous on mobile #and that the separators are nonexistent there too #stupid app

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zoidham · 5 years ago

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F!!RE - Devoted to Black Fashion & Lifestyle

ARTicle One:

Introduction.

On Black Masculinity in Fashion

“Masculinity is not measured by your bicep size or sexual prowess but is a quality that is characterized by being affectionate, sincere, and responsible.” - Juwanza Kunjufu

Hey Now kinfolk, I am Zoid Hæm, and in these personal letters I will be reflecting on the Black Lifestyle as it pertains to #Fashion, #Soul, and #Art. I have chosen the name F!!RE for this experience to pay homage to the young black artists of the Harlem Renaissance who shocked the world with a scathing peek into the mind of young and free black folks with their one issue magazine simply called Fire!!.(Source): https://bit.ly/2GwIIY0

Blackness, in its constant evolution is of my greatest interest, for as Arthur Jafa (@anamibia) said in his interview for I-D magazine with Virgil Abloh “…blackness isn’t just relevant to black people. It’s an ontological formation thats seeking to understand the world. It’s about the possibility for a different way to occupy earth, to exist in it. (Source): https://bit.ly/2m3ygzn

So here I sit at this cross section of fashion and soul, asking myself what does my external experience tell me about my inner world? And since the former spews out of the latter I see a fluid evolution spiraling up, beckoning at the fringe of our reality like an avant-garde symbol, hated and misunderstood like all mysteries shrouded in blackness. Excitement billows out of me, as my existence becomes a thorough definition of the contradictions in my black consciousness; like vines, unconfined by the square bricks of this society, I sprawl out, creating branches, bridges, and underground railroads, breaking out of learned labels and ushering a new wave. A wave filled with bubbles that when they touch, combine and crash on this countries shores of Thought, making us all the more unique and free.

“Cultivate your Uniqueness.”

Free Hugs and Painted Nails:

Today's letter focuses in on black masculinity through the lens of fashion. It must have been the summer of 2011 when I sported boastful yet crude painted nails, and a small white button that said “Free Hugs". My body type was bulky, aggressive, and shouted, “Angry black man!" I had just finished my career in football, thankfully, and found myself hustling in the streets of New York City, as green as a rose stem among the grey concrete jungle, who's edifices and faces made me feel small, innocent, and utterly naive.

Yet in this place I began to shift my image, first my thoughts, by asking any and all types why they are who they are. Mind you as the son of two preachers who never went to a house party or drank till college, even with my years at university there was still so much I didn’t know; but what I found is that when I approached folk they were always very guarded and unsure. I always blamed racist propaganda for their hesitancy but then I began to think more about what my image was saying to them. To them and this society my look gave off certain triggers in them, and by them I mean all types from old, young, white, black, brown, men, women, LGBTQ, CEO, or homeless. Few if any paid me any mind, or quickly gave glance and turned the other way.

Haha a hilarious anecdote that actually made me change my entire “costume” was that one day, walking out by Central Park I saw the actor Michael Cera! Yep, Mr. Superbad himself, I was such a big fan I blurted out as we came close to each other “Holy crap! It’s Michael Cera!” Haha and true to form, with a hilarious face and mannerisms he looked up, eyes widened, and immediately turned around, and scampered the opposite direction down the street. I was a little hurt and shocked, but still laughed. It was at this point I was like YO! What do they see?

I went home, a 6 floor walk up in Chinatown, and looked in the mirror and began to take some notes. Broad chest, big beard, long locs, rather run-of-the-mill black man, how boring! I knew inside me was something that defied all definition, that I was a spirit teeming with affection and love for my fellow humans and wanted to be able to sit and express with them. But what I typically was receiving was the energy of dismissal and guardedness. I had known this well from black women at university who used me as a whipping boy to take their frustrations out on all black men, while I received, in screaming opposition from white women, so much attention it felt disingenuous, for them any n!gga would do; but now this was pervasive… I realized that my presence scared people, and that they weren’t actually seeing the REAL me.

I paced in my small apartment unit, thumbing a small button in the jacket I just bought, mentally drawing up how I wanted to present myself. “Alright first we need to lose this weight, so we can fit into all these cool clothes, but also fit better in these rooms of artists and intellects, and then lets keep the beard and hair nappy, edge is important, but lets dress in chic cheap fashion, cuz we are super broke and are only going to be able to afford the thrift store…” As I was thinking I pulled out the button from my pocket and read what it said “Free Hugs” almost unconsciously I pinned it to my jacket and didn’t think much of it.

The next day was Friday and I typically made my way to the museums since they were free. I bought a bottle of FireFly ice tea vodka and headed to my friends pad down by wall street so we all could get faded and go see some art. As I was walking down the street, I saw faces smiling at me, and so I smiled back, not used to New Yorkers showing any emotion besides anger I was a little surprised but kept pushing. After hopping off the train, I turned the corner and a short portly jewish women threw her arms up and said “Yes I need one today!” And gave me a big long hug. I just stood there shocked by this stranger squeezing me, like I was her grandson, but before the hug was over I retuned the energy. She smiled and walked on by. As she left I looked at my reflection in one of the wall street buildings and saw that I still had the “Free Hugs” button on my jacket, and smiled thinking, how bout that! A free hug trumps propaganda, age, fear, race, etc. all they needed was the permission to show affection.

Fast foward to half the bottle gone, and a small loft full of young, gifted and black artist, all dancing and singing to a Stevie Wonder record. I had painted a haggard green sweat shirt with the word Free Hugs in big red letters and donned it as I joined the harmonious voices that filled the room with the joy of a Friday afternoon. I went over to the kitchen to fill my glass, when I realized I had gotten some paint on my nails, and began to peel it off when my crush at that time, a stunning orange afro having queen said, "Naw leave it! In fact here!” She came over with some nail polish and painted quick little designs on my nails in green, red, and yellow. My first reaction was wait I can’t wear nail polish, but when I looked at my hands I became enamored, my how strange and unique, these dainty hands on a Rasta brute! This was just the right amount of contradiction and juxtaposition of strength and vulnerability I was looking for. Leave it to black women to bring a dream to reality.

And thats exactly what happened, when we hit the streets in that Friday sunset, New York finally saw me, and opened like the flowers in sunlight on the corner of Strawberry Fields. Over the next few months, my body slimmed, my smile grew, my nails where chipped and covered with color haphazardly, and hugs clung to my body like the tight fitting cheap fashion I found. But most importantly my thoughts began to change, because I was engaging with more people from all walks of life. I ask myself to this day, did the fashion open them up or me up?

Fashion is metaphor touted as a mask, there to conceal or reveal our inner truth, and for me I found a unique edge to walk, one where I hold space with masculinity that only knows mixtape lyrics and football, as well as a space that spoke of Basquiat’s and Warhol’s, the fickleness of love in any gender or sexuality and the need for soul and romance. I am still the minority in most rooms I walk into, typically they don't know what to think of me, I hear little conversations in the corner, ”He must be gay, or bi, no no look he’s with ball players and gangsters, naw naw he has lots of girlfriends, yes yes hunny he can get it, but he curbed all of us and I’m fine so wats the deal, oh he’s different.”

Different… little do they know I’m just like them, expressing all that I am. Removing the labels and images and thoughts that society has forced upon me, left me blank a slate to be creative. Still I have much more to remove and redefine in this ocean of blackness that is my being. One can be masculine in a dress, one can be feminine in baggy jeans, lessen we forget #STONEWALL and what those activists fought for, the freedom of image. Culturally and generational things shift, the meaning we put behind garments and fabric is all made up, just like us; and no one need be ridiculed or shamed for making their fit…fit. So what are you wearing today? In any way, you look good on you.

Posivibes,

hæm

Credits:

Image one by @johnyu.co

for Westword Artopia 2019

#f!!re #fashion #blog #zoidham #black masculinity

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bubble-tea-bunny · 6 years ago

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non-times and non-places

a miami vice au

[poe dameron x reader]

author’s note: one of the shows i’m working my way through atm is miami vice and i love everything about it. the vaporwave aesthetic is reeaalll haha. i might end up writing more of this cuz it was fun, we’ll see!

word count: 2,868

Crime never sleeps, and neither, so it seems, do you.

The mug of coffee resting on the island before you has long gone cold when you hear the alarm clock in the bedroom going off, only to be shut off a few moments later with what you know is a tired and heavy hand, accompanied by grumbling as your husband hoists himself out of bed. Your day starts when it’s still dark out, for you’re both due at the department at 9 AM on the dot and rush hour traffic in a city like this is a force to be reckoned with.

You hear creaking as the bedroom door slowly opens, and the quiet patters of Poe’s bare feet along the cold tiles. He’s rubbing at his eyes in an attempt to wake up some more and running a hand through his hair which, at this hour, is more like a lion’s mane after all his moving around while he slept. One brush of his fingers through the strands does little to tame it, but he’s not bothered as he drops his hand back down to his side. He sighs heavily and glances at you upon entering the kitchen.

“Couldn’t sleep again?” he asks, rifling through the cupboards for the necessary items to make a fresh pot of coffee. You’d only made enough for yourself because it would be cold if left to sit around until he woke up—that’s always a good indicator as to how long you’d been awake. His voice is rough and gravely and he clears his throat.

“No,” you respond softly, fingers curling around the mug handle and pulling it closer to you as if you’re going to bring it up to your mouth to take a sip, but you won’t because if there’s anything you hate more than room temperature coffee, it’s cold coffee, and your movements now are nothing but habit.

“If this keeps up, you should see a doctor.” The suggestion is gentle, and maybe it’s because he’s tired and has no energy for anything firmer or maybe it’s just because he cares so much or maybe it’s a mixture of both.

“I think it’s just the stress,” you reason, and the quiet gurgling of the coffee machine accompanies your words. “The strain of the last bust kept my mind on high alert and even though the case is closed, my body’s still trying to adjust to actually having time to rest.” You chuckle quietly.

Poe turns around and leans against the counter, elbows braced on the surface. There are dark circles under your eyes that have only grown worse as the days continue on. Getting more than five hours of sleep would be considered a stroke of luck on your end, and not only that, but five hours of uninterrupted shut-eye. What rest you’ve managed to get was far from peaceful, punctuated by bouts of laying face-up, staring at the ceiling and watching the reflection of headlights from the occasional passing car flashing across the expanse. And he hates seeing you like this, to see you fatigued to the point that the thought of you passing out right there at your work desk is perfectly plausible.

He does what he can—he figures it’s discomfort at first that prevents you from falling asleep, and every night he pulls you close and nuzzles your hair and runs his fingers up and down your arm, soft and light like the sun peeking over the horizon the next morning. And he wakes up to find you already in the kitchen, not quite able to get through the whole night but you smile softly and he knows you’re saying thanks for trying. He just smiles back and leans forward on the island to set a hand over yours and there’s a look in his eyes that tells you he would never stop trying. He’s a detective watching out for his partner and he’s a husband watching out for his wife. Taking care of you goes without saying.

“Well, at least the weekend’s almost here.” The coffee is done so Poe grabs a mug—it’s one you’d gotten for him as a souvenir when you went to New York to visit family. “You’ll have time to catch up on some much needed sleep.”

“Yes, very much needed…” you murmur.

———

The department is already bustling by the time you get there. Miami is a city with a thriving criminal underworld. People tell you that you should go out to see the Keys when you have the time, because it’s odd that you’ve never been even though you’ve lived here for some time now, and you say that you will as soon as your schedule allows. But crime doesn’t exactly abide by the conventional 9 to 5, and so you suppose you’ll just have to make do with the keys you see while on the clock, in the form of white blocks sniffed out by the K-9 units.

Today you’re in a gray pantsuit with a white button-up underneath and a pair of close-toed shoes to complete the ensemble. You have skirts but haven’t worn them in a while—they aren’t exactly the best article of clothing to be wearing out on the field. Pants grant you the mobility to pursue anyone trying to run. The skirts and dresses and open-toed heels are from your days when you did exclusively desk work.

You open your locker to store your purse inside and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror hanging on the inside of the door. The lack of sleep is apparent in your eyes, not that you couldn’t already feel it with the heaviness in your lids. You’d eaten breakfast which served to help perk you up, but you’re itching for a bust or a chase just to get the adrenaline going. With a sigh, you grab your police badge before shutting the locker.

The morning briefings begin at 9:30 and last, at the most, until 10, depending on how many open cases there are. Today it lasts no more than fifteen minutes. After the last bust, things have been quiet. There’s only one outstanding investigation being handled by another team, so all you and Poe are assigned to is scouting the usual hang-outs and popular spots for drug-dealing. You know something is bound to pop up as you talk with informants working in these areas. Someone’s always looking to buy, and there’s always someone prepared to sell.

South Beach is the place to be if one knows anything about living in a place like this. The city is always warm, the go-to destination for those looking to hide away from the chill farther north during the winter months, but the beach always feels just a bit warmer. Poe’s black Daytona Spyder looks right at home along Ocean Drive, the top down to allow a breeze to pass over you both, and it ruffles your hair and blows it back so that when he’s found a spot to park, you’re combing it through with your fingers to undo what knots might have formed.

Sunglasses hide your wandering eyes as you scope out the people milling about on the sidewalk in search of anyone suspicious. They seem to part for you like the Red Sea as you and Poe walk along. Even before noon, the heat is almost palpable, so the two of you have shed your blazers, leaving you in your button-up with the sleeves rolled up to your elbows and Poe in his powder blue tee, the shoulder holster he wears pulled taut across broad shoulders, rough brown leather brushing against the soft fabric of his shirt.

Palm tree fronds sway gently in the slight wind, casting shadows on the concrete. You’re surrounded by white art deco buildings accented in teals and soft pinks and walk past the occasional outdoor café with canvas overhangs and canvas umbrellas. If you were to poise index and thumb on one arm of your sunglasses and pull them down just a little, enough to peek over the top, you’d see the haze of the Miami heat make itself known in the distance, distorting the farthest point of the road visible from where you stand and the cars farther away still, like a mirage except there’s no desert for miles in any direction. All of it combined serves to form a kind of fever dream, the most colorful and exotic one you’ve ever had.

Poe dips into a bar and you follow close behind. It’s dark in here, and your eyes begin to adjust to the sudden change in lighting as you set your sunglasses on top of your head. Your informant here is the bartender, who grins in greeting as you approach the counter and take a seat on the stools.

“What’ll it be today, detectives?” he asks.

“No drinks this time, Finn.” Poe shakes his head. “Just wanted to know if there’s been any suspicious activity.”

Finn’s bar is one of the more popular joints on Ocean Drive, a hub for locals and tourists alike. You and Poe even find yourselves coming here whenever time allows. There’s always the potential of drug dealers finding their way to this spot, talking in quieted tones about their product to anyone interested, so hushed they can’t be heard over the music floating from the jukebox. Sometimes you don’t always get a hit when you stop by. Following any busts, dealers tend to drop off the radar for a while. That’s what you’re expecting today, but you turn out to be wrong. Finn’s learned of someone new.

He describes the man and you nod intermittently as you store the information away. You’ll be repeating it to other business owners along this street and a pedestrian or two to see if anyone recognizes him, and you need to be as accurate as possible. You rest your head on your propped up hand and watch as another patron walks over to the jukebox and slides in a quarter. It works its way through the machine with a series of clinks, and he spends a few moments flipping through the tracks until a lively and upbeat tune fills the bar.

“If I get to know your name…”

You turn your attention back to Finn and Poe, and just as you do, Finn spots movement in his peripherals. His eyes slide up and over to the front doors to glance at the newcomer.

“Well if I could trace your private number, baby…”

Your brows furrow and you follow his line of sight. The man has barely entered the establishment when he sees you and Poe, and it prompts him to come to an abrupt stop in the doorway. Though cast in shadow due to the sunlight pouring in behind him, he’s easy to identify. He matches the description Finn gives. That’s him! said man exclaims, and your now suspect’s eyes widen as he twists around and high-tails it out of the bar.

“All I know is that to me you look like you’re havin’ fun…”

You and Poe jump out of your seats so fast the stools screech against the floor, but you pay it no mind as you set off in a run. The hot Miami sun washes over you once you’re outside, the music fading until there’s just the wind whistling in your ears as you sprint down the sidewalk, eyes focused on your target.

“Open up your lovin’ arms. Watch out, here I come…”

People jump to the side with yelps of surprise as your suspect runs past, and stay parted as you and Poe trail behind. Neither of you is properly dressed to be running, but this is far from the first time you’ve had a chase. These are your favorite—they get your blood running and excitement pulses in your veins every time you close the gap between you and your perp, pushing you to widen your strides more and more until they are within your grasp. You’ve worked behind a desk full-time before, but after experiences such as these, there’s no way you’d be able to do it again.

When he’s near enough, Poe catches the suspect in a tackle and they tumble to the ground. His breathing is labored as he maneuvers the man’s hands behind his back. “You’re under arrest,” he says simply between the deep breaths he takes to slow his heart rate. He grabs his handcuffs and slides them on with a click. Poe pulls the perp up to stand, and he grins at you. “Piece of cake.”

You smile and shake your head while taking deep breaths of your own, eyes roving over the bystanders that have stopped to see what was going on. This is one of the easier arrests you’ve made, and that’s owed in part to your suspect’s impeccable timing. You love when they make your job easy. Piece of cake indeed.

———

The sun is fully set behind the horizon when you return to the department. The rest of the day had gone on without event, which allowed you to fully feel the effects of your lack of rest. Usually you don’t have time to feel tired when you’re so preoccupied with drug busts and other investigations.

Poe smiles sympathetically when you emerge from the locker room with your purse slung over your shoulder and eyes half-lidded, threatening to slide closed any second. It didn’t really help that the day passed by so slowly. You’re in dire need of sleep, but he knows you’d only be twisting and turning if you laid down in a dark bedroom, desperately searching for that rest but not quite attaining it. No, he needs another plan of action.

As you exit the building after waving goodbye to your colleagues, he wraps an arm around your shoulder to bring you close. “Let’s go for a drive.”

You nod and say okay because that Spyder is Poe’s pride and joy. There have been many instances he would take it for a spin, not really driving anywhere in particular, just enjoying the purr of the engine and the way the steering wheel felt in his hands. You like to tag along, sliding into the passenger seat which might as well have your name written on it, and on these drives, neither of you says anything. Each other’s presence is enough, more than enough. The city speaks for you both, full of life as it is.

Poe slides the key into the ignition and twists, and you can’t help smiling a little to yourself at the way his eyes light up so brightly at the roar of the engine. You surmise that if the sun were to suddenly go out, you wouldn’t mind. In fact, you’re not sure you’d notice.

It’s neon lights all the way down.

The storefront signs paint the world in purples and blues against a black canvas. You love to take in the sights on these long drives with Poe, and you love doing so at nighttime even more. Miami at night is different from how it is in the day. It wakes up when the sun goes down to sleep, and you will never get tired of the silhouettes of palm trees against brightly lit hotels and bars or the sidewalks abuzz with people taking up their place in the night scene like it’s a painting. Through the haze of these late hours, they seem all at once to be front and center, the subjects in a Kirchner masterpiece.

You watch the world fly by in a flurry of colors from your very own front row spot, in the tan leather seats of the Spyder, and think that if you should randomly come to a stop and take a snapshot of whatever you see once you do, you can frame it and stick it in a museum.

This city is wonderful and it’s alive, vibrating with an energy the likes of which you’ve never seen. If you set a hand on the concrete, your palm would be warm, and maybe it’s from the sun beating down for hours before finally setting or maybe it’s a sign of something real, of something beyond yourself. And while Poe continues cruising down the road, singing along quietly to the song on the radio, you feel your eyelids droop. Everything is shifting out of focus, neon signs and stoplights nothing but a blur, and you see them flashing still, dazzling and brilliant in your mind’s eye as you drift off to sleep, and as Poe’s singing sounds farther and farther.

At a red light, Poe spares a glance towards you and smiles softly when he sees you’ve fallen asleep. Your face is illuminated by pinks and blues from the lights of nearby buildings and he watches them dance across your skin and understands you to be not just someone living in this city, but someone that’s part of it. And he’s no different. The very essence of the sprawling metropolis you call home is in your veins, and there’s truly nothing like it.

#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron imagine #oscar isaac x reader #oscar isaac imagine #star wars imagine #star wars #poe dameron #oscar isaac #queue #bubble-tea-bunny

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the-firebird69 · 3 years ago

Text

We are in the process of suing Kia and we see that he got some mail from them he went to the trouble to find out where he lives who sent them a warning letter today

They sent back to warning of Their own and it was in the form of a letter and it was a death threat the direct one to us in the form of a letter. It was from a particular dealer to send it to corporate to their corporate office with our letter stating that we want a settlement out of court or we go public with their idiot in this letter they said it's extortion and we said no we're saying we're going public with your death threat if you don't simply pay what you actually owe something called the authorities on us authority said you owe the small amount of money and you're threatening someone who's not related to it do not pay his teeny bit of money that you actually owe they said you're on our side are you I said yeah but it's just a teeny bit of money we hear them say it because cops are putting it on the line for people to ruin their own businesses and such without paying teen bits of money and it doesn't make any sense because they're forcing them to do their job when they're not right the companies are not right so Kia went ahead and said if we pay this one person we'll have to pay them all and the guy said you're paying with your entire company people are forced to do something else your company is getting taken over because you refuse to fix this one problem and we can point to it and tell you how you're doing it so they said we don't care about the company we're here to make people miserable and they arrested him and they said the checks going to be on the way for that car but they ruined on purpose and we saw them ruin it inside Trump really several times and he's in jail because your sun pressed charges so he said this you can put him in jail for the United States government because he's constantly harassing the president they'll have to say that would be nice it's a huge a****** doesn't have any chips yet wants to leave the country the world I'm starting to see something it's kind of insane it's threatening for the shadow though yet he wants to leave the planet and then time he got it oh he wants to blow up the world so he can escape there's a few problems with it when is the solar system of the night or the Galaxy possibly universe the second is this from ships are not adequate for interstellar travel one of those guys asked how he knows and he said it's been tested tons of ships went out there and people just froze all manner of insulation and other and feeling will haven't Bill and will have a tabulated he looked at I like a copy of that right went to Trump himself and say you're fired you're putting us through it for nothing except to die for you for no reason me to get on his knees and say it need to start going to town on him and helped him get in jail tons of people going after his idiots and keep on pushing it because it's ridiculous we don't have an interstellar ship we know where they are and you won't shut your f****** mouth they'll kill you I'm taking their stuff find out that something wrong with him yeah their assholes

Her son wants to know when the check is going to be in the mail for this ridiculous car that cost him so much money these increasing the amounts of suing for instead we don't have to we're already suing for millions and they won't pay they say so I'm going to go back to him again today and say you've gotten something as arrested would like to be compensated as far as keeping kia around, it's really The branding that we're talking about and we can of course maintain it these idiots don't know anything about anything it's in the news 200 days in a row they just don't want to pay anything to you because they're very very racist so we're sending them cease and desist letters and for them to pay forthright and a solution letters we're also going to expose them in the media cuz we don't care about the company we're still making Kia ourselves separately and they still put out the crappy one and people will know the difference will just make the emblem different spell it correctly that's all it's spelled differently it says that's terrific let's do it now eat them nothing take them to nothing take them to nothing so I'm going to do that now

Bitol and goddess wife

Korean God and Goddess

Who advise ours to follow this procedure if they don't cease and pay with you our son to shut them down I want people to get aggressive these people are abusive and they're assholes we need the factories today you don't need them to have anything especially they're heavy industries which are now super heavy for real we want them out of it and need them out of it I'm putting the order out now furthermore to get him funding he's asking all the time now everyday every few minutes cuz I don't got any money yet any... It's hard it's a real assignment but we can work on it he says this is very simple you write a check it's from Kia you make the money work depending on idiots there we've been saying no and all the splash team and making us angry and they get their asses kids what are you going to do that lawsuits and the same thing

We proceed with it now we just have to decide to do it that's what we know and he's telling us they're always threatening social security and the treasury always threatening me with it and I'm sick of them if we're not going to take their government and throw it into the dumper then we'll have to do something else I agree with what he's saying too it might take a few more weeks we will look at it too it's ridiculous not to get him stuff he needs people are a bunch of assholes you have to crush your entire Army to get a money then that's what we're going to do

Thor Freya

We are going to be brought to our knees because this one person is kept in poverty and threatened all the time you people are a bunch of ninnies here in the wrong game you're in the wrong world in the wrong planet I need you away from him now that was a ridiculous routine that John ramallowed or whatever his name is retard did if anyone supports them they're under arrest he's saying the order out to his own cuz it sounds really good it's like a great way to do business if you're for this illegal behavior you're going to arrest sounds good his agree we're going forward with it a bunch of nonsense his own people can't stand them either

Mac

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buffpidgey · 7 years ago

Text

Edward Elric Is a Political Powerhouse And Doesn’t Know It

I said I’d write something about Ed’s political potential. Here, have 2,065 words about Ed’s political potential.

Edward Elric is the youngest State Alchemist, earning his position at age 12, because he is a cheeky little shit.

Edward Elric makes a name for himself as a competent independent actor, when Roy Mustang sends him on missions.

Edward Elric is a hot political commodity.

It’s a pity he doesn’t give a shit.

There’s a common trope in FMA fanfic where Ed is approached by another military official, wanting Ed to join him. I can’t really remember seeing this happen in canon, but, I do think it is something that could and probably has happened. (Unless there is some kind of military reason this WOULDN’T happen, but I am not aware of something like that, and furthermore, Amestris’ military also functions as a political entity so there would probably be leeway for at least unofficial actions like this)

In those fanfics, Ed always declines the offers. Those military officials don’t know his secret like Roy does, and Ed has no patience for their political posturing.

If he DID though, he would have quite a bit of influence if he wanted it. And while a non-negligible part stems from his undeniable abilities as an alchemist, I would argue much of it comes from his status as something of a Folk Hero.

(Under a cut cuz 2,065 entire words)

The idea of folk heroes is one that’s been played with for a long time- hell, we even have a hero from hundreds of years ago (Robin Hood) who has hung around because that idea is still popular.

One of the things that go hand in hand with folk heroes is a repressive local regime. With Robin Hood, it was the Sheriff of Nottingham and the usurper king (represented in the Disney version as scrawny lion). In the case of The Man They Call Jayne and the mudders, it was the bosses who worked those folks hard for no pay.

With The Peoples’ Alchemist, it’s... well, technically it’s the entire Amestrian government, but while Ed is a State Alchemist, it’s just corrupt officials.

ALCHEMISTS IN AMESTRIS

The motto an alchemist is supposed to follow in FMA is: “Alchemist, be thou for the people.” In a largely agrarian society that’s just leaning into the industrial revolution, like Amestris, someone who could easily fix tools, repair buildings, act as a doctor, or even control fire (depending on the alchemist’s skill level and specialty) are all things that could very much provide a huge advantage and security to a community that could support an alchemist.

Which is probably what needs to happen, since you can’t do alchemy without a lot of studying.

So an alchemist who completes that study, is supposed to turn that awesome alchemical power back to the benifit of the community. By running off to the military, that alchemist is basically taking the community’s downpaiment made during that alchemist’s training, and running away with it, while giving the community nothing.

(And this reasoning totally ignores the Spiderman Maxim of: with great power comes great responsibility.)

Then the alchemist goes specifically to the military. Since its ... founding ... Amestris has been run by war hawks, who look for any excuse to start a land-grabbing war. Of course, war is a serious drain on both people and the economy.

Those who AREN’T in a position for war profiteering (basically most of the population) don’t want war. They get coerced into war through various means anyway, and end up losing family over it. So yeah, Amestris may be basically a military dictatorship with a few democratic trappings, but there is a reason that Roy Mustang went into the military to change the country’s politics, and not the parliment.

With great power both politically and martially, the military is gonna start feeling entitled. Especially ranking individuals within the military. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and the military structure is really bad at promoting accountability.

So when alchemists go off to this institution and they get caught up in the absolute corruption it’s a double blow to the people, because it’s like watching your community’s nice doctor go off to design bioweapons.

Into this situation, enter Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist.

THE THINGS ED HAS GOING FOR HIM

Edward, as I mentioned briefly in the beginning of this post, has an amazing skill in alchemy, and is a competent individual. The first of these qualities got his foot in the door. The second kept him in his position of State Alchemist. From there, though, this competent alchemist was able to unintentionally forge his reputation of the Peoples’ Alchemist.

In a situation where State Alchemists are seen as dogs of the military at best, and living genocide machines at worst, Ed managed to break through that image to the point where people actually love him enough to flock around him in awe. (Well, flock around Al, who they THINK is Ed)

Garnering that kind of admiration is no mean feat. We know HOW he did that- Ed’s adventure in Youswell laid it out pretty well. The point is, Ed is seriously popular.

Because FMA is Ed’s story, and Ed doesn’t care about politics at all, we never see other government/military officials. Well, we never see one who is genuinely popular with the people. But looking at how dramatic Ed’s reception is, how determined Roy is to change things, and what we know about how Amestris was formed, it’s easy to assume that the average citizen doesn’t have a lot of real say in important things.

What hope the people have in positive political or social change rests in figures who are already in power who act in ways that visibly benefit them. Given the cast of political actors we’ve seen in canon, the only person who is VISIBLY acting on behalf of the people is Ed.

Which means that you could argue that Ed is the single most popular political figure in ALL OF AMESTRIS.

That’s not to say that I do think he IS, just to say that it’s possible. I’m sure there are other do-gooder reformers. They likely are either stuck in dead-end assignments or aren’t as visibly effective.

Either way, Ed is the single most popular State Alchemist, and given that as a State Alchemist, he has a rank equivalent to Major, and even as someone who only knows vague facts about military structure from what she’s found on wikipedia, (A major has the authority to command units up to 300 strong) that is an IMPRESSIVE and IMPORTANT position of authority.

TIME FOR BADLY APPLIED FRENCH HISTORY

When learning about The French Revolution (not the Les Mis one) I learned that French society was divided in three unequal parts, and that the largest population was also the poorest, and also had 100% of the tax burden. I’m pretty sure that’s not how Amestris is, but I will tell you that that fact made a very big impression on little me after growing up listening to (and basically memorizing) the 25th Anniversary Version of Les Miserables the Musical (Mom is a music nerd) where a not insignificant thing that sets off the revolution is the death of Lamarque.

According to the students and the chorus, Lamarque is the only one who “speaks for the people here below”. When this dude dies, the students decide it’s time to topple the government since the ONE GOOD THING about it just died. They ultimately fail to topple the government, but Lamarque made that much of an impact on them.

Ed is NOT Lamarque. His goal isn’t to make things better for The People. And yet, he has so much pull among The People, that he has a rep and a nickname, after less than four years of work. Four years seems like a lot for many people, but in the grand scheme of things, four years from “absolute beginner starting point” to “national figure” is almost unnaturally short. Especially in a world where the newspaper is the main source of news.

In political systems where power is intentionally concentrated at the very top (fascism, dictatorships, monarchies), and the people have very little explicit political power, they are not completely powerLESS.

Their power is ill-defined and even harder to actually access in a specific way, but, being able to gauge the feeling of your citizens is important in remaining in power. Even citizens with only a facsimile of political power still can make their opinions known. And if that opinion turns to ‘those in power have to go’, well, it’s better to not let it get there, right?

POPULARITY AND POLITICS

In the case of Amestris, they have made their opinion of Ed pretty clear. His reputation is no secret to those who pay attention. While gaining a positive reputation is harder than gaining a bad one (the saying is ‘lie down with dogs, rise up with fleas’ not ‘stand in a rose garden and smell of roses’) association with Ed would probably be beneficial for those who wish to play the political game.

Without going out and specifically doing work good deeds, becoming Ed’s commanding officer would mean that you get to take partial credit for everything he does. That’s, like, how commanding officers WORK.

This partial credit for Ed’s very popular corruption-smashing would translate into some pretty sweet political clout, since you are presumed to be a source of popular political action. Popular political actions being easier to implement, even in places where democracy isn’t really a thing.

Of course, that is assuming that Ed doesn’t want to wield his popularity himself.

If Ed wanted to, he could decide that he wants political authority and use the popularity he’s found as a stepping stone to launch himself higher up the ladder than he is already. While his age and political inexperience would hamper him, if he played his cards right, Ed could become a political force equal to the vast majority of the population of Amestris, in addition to the military power he holds by being a State Alchemist.

THE DANGERS OF ALL THIS BUSINESS

Because Ed DOESN’T decide to become the Avatar Of The People’s Will in Amestrian politics, he leaves any handling of his political clout to Roy Mustang. And as I said earlier, that sure does boost Roy’s own political clout.

And I’m sure that Roy appreciates that.

He DOESN’T appreciate having to absorb any negative political blowback whenever Ed unseats someone’s nepotistic pet project.

There is also the danger of what could possibly happen if Ed were to die in Suspicious Circumstances.

I don’t think that Roy would immediately be assumed to be the one who had Ed “taken care of”. But it would all depend on how Ed died, and the current state of the country when he died.

Assuming Ed died during, say, a year with a good harvest when things were generally quiet, there would likely be some kind of public mourning, but it would probably be akin to when David Bowie died.

If he died very suspiciously during a bad year... things could get ugly. If a people thinks that there is nothing to lose, they will take no prisoners.

In that situation of course, Amestris gets throw into another civil war since the people believe their government killed off the only person who was perceived to be on their side.

Of course, that never happened in canon, but sometimes I think about the bad things that could happen, politically, if something happened to Ed.

Conclusion

Ed’s focus is only on restoring his and Al’s bodies, but his little side trips to help people when he finds assholery has given him a reputation that would immediately catapult him to VIP in Amestrian politics if he so chose.

This reputation, along with Ed’s undeniable skill, is probably pretty useful to Roy Mustang’s own political standing. Roy doesn’t give Ed that long leash just because he feels sorry for the kid. Ed roaming around being The Peoples Alchemist earns HIM political points too

If anything bad ever happened to Ed in any kind of public way, though, the Amestrian people would want SOME kind of vengeance, and depending on the situation, Ed might could probably maybe start a war. Or even a civil war, depending on how he died...

It’s probably one of the reasons the homonculi are so concerned with making sure this particular “human sacrifice” stays safe.

#fma #edward elric #amestrian politics #fma meta #birb meta #the birb talks #the birb writes

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