#but i feel like if *i* was hesitating so much then a loooooot of other people less blue-no-matter-who than me probably were too

[hookechoes]

this is obviously anecdotal so take it with several barrels of salt, but... the people i spoke to, both before and after the debate, lean conservative. and both before and after the debate were undecided on who to vote for because both candidates were too old. the debate just solidified that belief for them. none of them wanted biden to run at all. this, in my opinion, is not some kind of media conspiracy that people just ate up. both from my own anecdotal experience and from reading a bazillion polls over the last month, real people (including myself) did not want him to run but had no other option, they already thought he was too old and in decline, and then the debate showed them loud and clear that their fears were absolutely warranted and galvanized them into actually saying it out loud.

[elfen-alcibiade]

Hi Alcibiade! 😃 Thank you for always talking to me so much in the comments. I'm glad to know that you have similar thoughts about the post-game world! XD

I like to see characters living happily in the post-game world, but if I see them living too ordinary a life, I feel it is not quite right. The world must have changed a lot, and the common sense of the past should no longer be common sense. There must be a lot of people who have no parents, or whose friends or children have died, and that the way people think about family must have changed a lot. If you have any headcanons from that perspective, I'd love to hear about them!

For example, in one of my favorite Komahina fanfics, there was a fanon where Hajime has no reproductive ability (though he still has sexual function) due to the aftereffects of the surgery for the Kamukura project. I was really shocked when I read it for the first time, but also very convinced. I'm a multi-shipper when it comes to Hajime, but I still like the idea that he'll never have children of his own, even if he has a female partner. To be precise, I don't mean that I love the idea of not having children, but also because of the influence of another fanfic, I have a headcanon that Class 77-B is involved in protecting and caring for orphans in the post-game world, so I think it would be wonderful if he had a situation where there are many children who feel like they were raised by him, even though he has no children of his own. It's like the life of a boss character in action manga, isn't it? 😆 Those stories are typical in action manga, where the followers of a boss character are actually indebted to that boss character for picking them up and raising them when they were little, and so they swear their loyalty to the boss. I think it would be interesting if Hajime's life was like that.

It doesn't have to be limited to family, but I'd love to know what you think about it!

Hi Asaka! 🥰 Hope you're doing okay

Thank you for sending me a request! I decided to take my time to respond, but I'm sorry it took so much time! (I had a loooooot to do IRL these last months and I had very little energy left, sadly) Anyway don't hesitate to stop responding to my comments if I get too talkative. When I start talking, I never know how to stop x')

I totally agree with you. I believe that old insitutions and ways of living must have collapsed in the post-game world, and that people must have found their own ways to live and survive with each other. There would be some groups based on authority, violence and allegiance given to their local chiefs (like some sort of gangs), but also a lot of people who just try to live with each other peacefully and help build new homes to live in, new roads, new water systems, new knowledge... And they would rather build it to be functional for everyone and share their own knowledge and skills, than build it back to how it was before. I think that people must grieve all the family they lost, of course, but that they would turn themselves towards the people around them and start loving all elders, all children and everyone else like their own family. Because they're very few, they'd need everyone's help, so things would be made to include every help possible (they can't afford to ignore people they don't like, for example, so great effort from these communities would be made to prevent social isolation and rejection).

Wow, your headcanons of Hajime are very convincing and cool! I wish I could speak japanese to be able to read all the super cool fanfics you always mention. 😭💔And yeah, it's totally like a boss in action mangas, I find the whole idea really funny x') I really like that perspective of Hajime having a lot of people feeling like they were raised by him <3 I totally buy your headcanons lmao. From that perspective, I believe that maybe Hajime wasn't really confident about all that (taking care of children) at first, because he must feel like he's too broken and monstruous to be able to raise them properly. But because there wasn't other options, and he wasn't alone as a parent (plus, the children really wanted to take care of each other and take care of him too) it all went really well! (and maybe he was a bit scared of leaving Nagito, who loves children, educate them himself. Someone had to look after him haha!)

Their whole group would be something between the gang-like structure I mentioned before and the more horizontal-peaceful group, because they also need to protect themselves from the remnants. I think that maybe, Hajime and Nagito would insist to do the most dangerous missions by all time, because of their luck protecting them, so the children they raised would be very courageous and autonomous people who take care of themselves. But because they're very indepted to class 77-b, they would always want to spy on the missions from behind and intervene when they believe Hajime is in danger, even though he never really is. When they get back to the others, they would tell the story of the missions (which are, because of Nagito's luck cycle, always full of unforeseen developments) to everyone else 🥰And I think that Hajime wouldn't like to be considered a boss. Maybe one day he and Nagito will leave the group behind, when they think the children can take care of themselves without his authority, to fight evil somewhere else. So he would always want to share his knowledge and kamukura-related skills and never keep them for himself, because he knows that one day he'll be gone.

Okay, I already talked way too much!! I hope you'll like this answer, and thank you again for asking me about all this. I had a lot of fun writing it! 😊💕

[cherryistired]

OKAY i'm no longer at work so i can actually explain myself

city of color: okay yeah fine this is a party song. bright neon lights in the city and we're having a good time etc etc. it's one of those party songs that's being sung direct to a person that's implied to have gone out partying with the singer though.

ink me up: this is the ONE squid sister original that i'd concede isn't about romance. it's also one of the few splatoon songs i'd accept being about playing splatoon, actually! the squid sisters made this song specifically to be played during splatfest. it's hyping up the players to do their best and fight well.

now or never!: this is a cover. the original isn't about romance, but that's unrelated.

calamari inkantation: this is a modern take on an old folk song. not a love song, and not an original, either!

maritime memory: this is just city of color but slower.

bomb rush blush: about trying to spend as much time with your crush (aka playing turf war w/ them) without admitting your feelings for them. throwing a bomb rush at them to distract from the fact that you're blushing. loooooots of battle/weapon puns.

tide goes out: the singer likes someone. the other person likes the singer. they're dancing around their interest in each other, and the singer is tired of it. they give an ultimatum: admit your feelings for them, or they're not gonna hold out for the other person (aka, reach out before the tide goes out). lots of nautical puns.

bomb rush blush (dj octavio ft. callie): the romantic overtones are reduced, leaving a frantic song about a girl feeling forced to fight and not being able to own up to her own hesitance.

tidal rush: the romantic overtones of tide goes out are reduced and the singer is given a more active role, becoming the one reaching out instead of waiting to be reached out to. the song becomes a duet between a girl who doesn't want to fight and another girl actively reaching out to the first.

fresh start: textually, this song is about getting back together with your ex. everyone with a brain understands it's actually about callie and marie reconciling.

wave goodbye: breakup song. it's extra sad because neither party was really wronged, but it just wasn't working out. something something staying friends with your ex but you can't date. it's better this way. i'll always miss you though

tomorrow's nostalgia today: you know that line in call me maybe that's like "before you came into my life i missed you so bad"? the exact opposite of that. this relationship feels like an old memory. it feels too good to be true. it feels like the sort of relationship you look back on years later and remember how good things were. i think i miss you already.

liquid sunshine (ft. iam bgm): pure fluffy romance. tooth rottingly lovey dovey. you are the light of my life. etc etc you get the idea.

i don’t remember when i decided that every squid sister song was a love song but i’m extremely correct about it

[iwishtobeastorm]

Hello again, I am back to request more :') this time for Sackler if that's okay. This request is a little niche and specific to me so if you feel uncomfortable accepting the request I totally understand.

Could I request fluff/comfort/light smut where the reader (female and plus size preferably) and Adam Sackler have only been dating for a few months and she decides to talk to him about sexual boundaries and her fears and insecurities about loyalty (reader is scared he will want someone else/reader is uncomfortable with pornography in relationships/reader has a history of being cheated on)?

A/N: Hi there, Anya (@empressofalderaan)! 💗 I’m so sorry this request of yours took me so long to write but I finally managed to put it together. I hope it looks at least a bit as what you pictured it to be like. I enjoyed writing for my boy Adam again so so so much since I was in the mood to write for him for a while (if you have any other ideas up your sleeve, don’t hesitate to bring them my way 💗). Let me know what you think!

I do adore you - Adam Sackler/Plus-size!Reader

Word count: 1400+

Warnings: sexual boundaries talk, insecurity, cursing, Adam being good at comforting you

Masterlist

"Adam?" You call out, sticking your head out of the sheets and listening to the clatter coming from the hallway.

"I'm here, sweets. Be with you in a second," he responds, cheerful as always, which makes you smile softly.

Adam had another of his rehearsals today even though it's Sunday, since their big night is coming and so he had to leave you early in the morning and you decided to spend the rest of the day in bed. All the silence of your flat gave you a loooooot of time to overthink and now you might have a thing or two you'd like to discuss with him. You were actually bracing yourself for it for a while but you still feel really nervous about bringing it up since it's quite sensitive matter to you, but what needs to be done has to be done.

Sackler's shaggy head pops up in the doorway and soon he's launching himself on the bed, his huge frame covering you completely while he peppers your face with kisses, making you giggle.

"I missed you so so so much," he states and your heart melts at his world as you run your fingers through his hair, smoothening it out of his handsome face while your eyes meet, carrying silent admiration for each other.

"I missed you too, big boy," you murmur and he smiles, leaning down to kiss you on the lips, before he pulls away to look at you again.

You feel silly for wanting to bring up what was on your mind the whole day but- you know you have to. You have to bring your soul peace.

Adam notices how your expression dropped, how your eyebrows curved just lightly in worry, how the light in your eyes faded. It's not the first time and he knows something has been troubling you but he never was the one to pressure you. He knows you need your time and he doesn't mind to wait, but he can't help himself but ask.

"Is everything all right?"

His baritone takes you out of your head along with his thumb brushing over your cheek. You glance up at him, chewing on your bottom lip and you sigh.

"There's- there's actually something I'd like to talk about," you murmur and Adam straightens up, giving you space to sit up too, his huge hand enveloping yours.

"Go on, baby," he says softly, his golden gaze laying on you tenderly, giving you the encouragement you need.

"I- uhm- I don't know where to begin," you admit, dropping your eyes to your lap.

"Wherever you want, kid. I'm listening," he says, squeezing on your hand to give you assurance.

You sigh again, your chest all tight and tense as you're trying to find anything solid in the mess your mind turned into.

"I-It's about boundaries... the sexual ones, I mean," you murmur, daring to glance up at him. You expect him to laugh and make some silly joke like he usually does but he stays serious, giving you a light nod to tell you you can proceed.

"I know we never talked about our past relationships and that's alright but I just- there's something that happened to me and I just- I'm still kinda carrying it with me," you whisper, taking a deep breath, while your fingers unintentionally play with Sackler's out of nervous habit.

"My last boyfriend cheated on me. I- I don't know why. I thought he's happy in the relationship with me but apparently he wasn't," you murmur, tears raising in your eyes at the memory.

"I'm so sorry, peaches. If I ever stumble upon that motherfucker, I swear I'll beat the living shit out of him," Adam states, his voice pure venom and you glance up at him, shaking your head, your hands coming to his cheeks to cup them, your eyes meeting his.

"No, baby. He's not worthy of that," you say and Adam clenches his jaw, but nods eventually.

"I'm sorry he did something like that to you, darling," he states softly, touching your hand and kissing your wrist lightly, making butterflies erupt in your tummy.

"You don't deserve to be treated like that. Never," he continues and you smile sadly, nodding, watching Adam nuzzle his nose into your hand.

"You can proceed, if you want to," he whispers.

"Uhm- okay," you say softly.

"You know- because of this, there are few things I'm not really comfortable with," you state, Adam's amber eyes watching you patiently and he gives you a little nod, listening carefully.

"Like- I don't know- uh- porn? I know this is like- I know it's not my place to ask this of you I just- it's hard for me because I'm really scared. I'm scared you'll start liking someone else and you won't want me anymore. There're so many beautiful girls out there that would kill for a man like you and I know that and I just- I'm sorry, I feel stupid."

You started crying halfway through this little monologue of yours, which made Adam's chest ache but now you're pulling away from him and hiding underneath the blanket as if it was your personal shell, distancing yourself from him and he hates that much more. Your quiet sobs are tearing at his soul, your words still running through his head, the hurt in your sweet voice awakening his need to make it all okay again.

"Sweets, don't do this. Come out of that little tent of yours," he murmurs, his hand caressing your plump hip over the covers. You sniffle before you let out soft no, curling up.

"C'mon. You didn't get to hear my part. And I have a shit-ton of stuff I want to say," he states, watching you take a deep breath, the blanket rising and falling. There’s a silence for a second before your head finally peaks from underneath it.

"Much better," he states, giving you a small smile as his hand slides under the covers to envelop yours. You gaze at him with your eyes all big and glossy, waiting for what he has to say.

"So- first of all, if anything ever makes you uncomfortable like this, I want you to tell me like you did now and we will solve it," he says, brushing your hair out of your face and you nod, your eyes glued to him as if he held the sun in his hands, waiting for him to continue and that he does.

"Second of all, I have no problem with not watching porn, baby. It's not like I need it when I have you," he smiles to himself, before he leans down to you, pulling the covers to your neck and capturing your chin between his fingers, your gazes locking. When Adam speaks this time, his voice is low and melodic, sending shivers down your spine.

"And third and foremost, I would never ever trade you for anyone else on this planet. There’s no one like you, not even close, peaches. You’re the most beautiful, kindest, smartest girl I know and I would be a fool if I ever let you slip,” he states in all seriousness, his tender confession making you tear up again.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your chin trembling.

“For what?” He curves his brows in confusion, stroking your cheek.

“For making it look like I don’t trust you. I- I do. I’m just- I’m just stupidly insecure,” you murmur and he shakes his head.

“Nonsense. It’s okay. I’m glad you told me about this. I knew something was troubling you and it’s good we talked about it,” he states and you sigh, nodding softly.

He wipes away your tears before closing the gap between the two of you, his lips meeting yours in a soft kiss. You pull him closer carefully, melting into his touches, your sour mood slowly fading away, exchanged by the easy feeling of assurance, that settles in you.

“I love you,” you say when you pull away for air, your eyes searching his, smile settling on your face, making Adam’s heart flutter.

“I love you too,” he states, kissing the tip of your nose, making you huff a small laugh. He trails your face with his kisses until he reaches you ear, nibbling on your earlobe before he whispers to you, his words making you bite on your lower lip.

“Now let me show you just how much I cherish you.”

——————————————

Tag list:

Thank you so much for your support! Ily!

@rosi3ba3z @lovelylostminds @lokigirlszendaya @Gabr-Marie @hypnoash @xoxabs88xox @janebby @zooeyglassbathroom @lmarielondon @kacctus @Lovelyleti2

[variousqueerthings]

This is a consequence of Carmen not being a POV character + the general “women on the show are mainly seen through their relationship with men,” + I do imagine that your kid really liking someone/basically considering that person a father-figure, would be a big deal relationship-wise, but I just cannot unsee that Carmen’s interest in Johnny is so predicated on his relationship with Miguel. 

She’s at all times either drawn to him or repelled by him, depending on whether his influence on Miguel is good or bad:

Johnny brings a beaten Miguel home after Halloween: she tells him to stay away (and calls him a loser behind his back)

Johnny asks (and Miguel begs) to train together again: Carmen invites him over for dinner and expresses concern for Miguel fighting

Miguel wins at the All-Valley: she brings him a victory dessert and cautions him that she didn’t like everything she saw at the tournament 

Johnny is consistently a good teacher to Miguel: Carmen accepts his invitation to go out (this is the least related to Miguel, but it’s still relevant considering what comes next) -

Miguel breaks his back: Carmen says she never wants to see Johnny again

Johnny helps pay for Miguel’s surgery: actually it’s Rosa who asks him to stay, but this is what thaws the ice between Carmen and Johnny

Miguel decides he wants Johnny’s help to rehabilitate: Johnny sees Carmen crying over Miguel and comforts her - this is also what leads him to take Miguel to a Dee Snyder concert and-

Miguel starts to regain use of his legs: Carmen from here on out only gets warmer towards Johnny and the last thing they talk about before sleeping together is about how much he’s helped Miguel

(and the conversation the following morning also strongly centres on him being Miguel’s teacher and what that would mean for their relationship).

again, it’s not that I don’t believe that This Person Is Basically A Hero To My Son wouldn’t be ideal for a potential relationship, it’s more that (and again, this is because of her not having a POV) I want to know what else for Carmen that Johnny is bringing to the table.

Especially considering her influence on Johnny’s life has been huge: Through Miguel, obviously, but she’s consistently given him advice, given him hope, given him support, literally helped him out while he was drunk, brought him food, given him confidence, hell, teaching him to dance! 

What - other than being there for Miguel - is Johnny offering Carmen? And that’s not a loaded question, I just want her POV (alas to be the love interest and mother role all in one and also mothering the main guy character...)

I know that it’s tough being a mother - especially a single mother off the back of what is strongly hinted was an abusive relationship with your kid’s father - and there’s that thing about motherhood that society strips you of personhood and simply considers you “a mother,” so I don’t think it’s at all a stretch to imagine that Carmen feels the same way - her life needs to first and foremost bend towards Miguel.

Especially considering Miguel wasn’t popular and they don’t have a lot of money and she has to work long hours - of course she’d try to structure her life as much as possible around what’s best for her kid.

I just wonder if the show will give us that insight. And also give Carmen some friends. Anything to let her breathe/have something for herself that isn’t first filtered through her role as Mother, or at least some textual self-awareness on the show’s part that this is her role (and that it’s Hard). Even having a character say “this is my son and he’s the person I have to think about first, even before myself,” shows that this person is making a choice and that choice influences her decisions - including the decision to sleep with (and possibly go out with) Johnny.

And possibly... some hesitation? Every time Johnny has done something that has put Miguel in danger, it’s first and foremost been presented as “Miguel is in danger, therefore this man is not a viable option.” But I want to see “this man could potentially turn my son into a violent man (which was hinted at in the “I didn’t like everything I saw at the tournament” conversation. This man is himself a violent man, with a loooooot of his own issues he’s bringing to my door. What does that mean for me, who has run from a bad man”?

This is such a long-winded way to repeat: I just want to see her POV. 

And until then I just can’t really be onboard with their relationship as presented, because I see all the tropes and think they’re more clichés, because they’re unexamined. 

If the love interest doesn’t seem to be acting on her (mainly her) own desires - desires that we understand, because they’re in the text - then I will invent my own reasons for her going for a lead guy character. And usually I’ll assume that those reasons aren’t sustainable. Especially if the love interest’s purpose is mostly acting as a sounding board for said lead character.

Show: What Does Carmen Diaz Want?

[sneakerdoodle]

"(Not) Alone", Chapter 5

FINAL!!!! ONE!!!! I FINISHED A THING!!!!! WOW!!!!!

welcome to "Bard vs the mortifying ordeal of being known"!!!!!! they get their butt kicked!!!!!!

thanks to everyone who has tagged along for the ride, i have a loooooot a lot of feelings about all of this and it's been so great to be able to share some of them in this format 🥺 💗 💗 💗 💗 💗

<<<Previous chapter

ff.net || Google Docs

General warnings: big emotions/mental breakdown, moderately graphic metaphors (specifically: stomach trauma)

Just a little bit longer now.

The chorus fades; harmonious layers fall away one by one. The world is ready to move on, snap the connecting threads, one by one, and drift into endless space, leaving you behind. Just a little bit longer, and you will be freed of the countless voices celebrating their life without and after you.

As the distance between you and the rest of existence grows, the sole aching connection stretches thinner and thinner. The chorus is too far to hear, now - so pained vibrations of the lone cord grow clearer. A single voice still signs, straining, shaking with terror.

You’ve spent so long desperately resenting each other from the opposite ends of this unwelcome, binding tie. You both have been wishing for ignorance for so long. It would’ve been so much easier to forget everything that destroys you if you didn’t have to feel it echoed across space and time, chaining you to a place the thought of which terrifies you. You had wished countless times to squash the tiny pitiful voice like a bug under your fist.

Now that it is the only one you can hear, it sounds so… lonely. You would almost feel hesitant to sever your bond once and for all.

Good thing it was never up to you.

All you can do now is wait.

***

- So let me get this straight. She is still out there somewhere? Like, space??? And you’ve been, what, haunted by her?? This. entire. time?!!

It’s hard to tell if Miriam is raising her voice to outshout the wind beating against the two of them, or to vent out all of her befuddlement and frustration. The latter ring loud and clear either way, though.

Kiwi falters, shifting on the broom behind her. The subsequent shaking of their transport gets a stressed out hiss out of Miriam.

- ...Sort of?.. - Bard's voice wavers as they try to find a way to communicate this inexplicable empathetic knowledge. - She’s not really… anywhere. - They feel short of breath on the last word and have to take a moment before continuing: - And it’s not like she’s a ghost… not really?..

Miriam scoffs, and Kiwi is forced to appreciate just how weird it is that they have an actual precedent for that.

- Are you sure tho?? - Miriam herself sounds uncertain, now, as if grasping for any understanding, any familiar solution to this. - Sure sounds like one of those freaky empathy possessions.

She falls silent for a second.

- Is she trying to like… use your voice?..

Bard has to gulp down, hard, to relax the straining tension in his chest. His fingers ever so lightly rest on his throat. It burns with a tight ache of an unsung song. They shake their head, falling heavier against Miriam’s back, then wrap their arms around her.

It’s weird, being so close to her again, and so vulnerable. Kiwi feels exposed, the raggedy landscape of all of her weird, conflicting feelings suddenly uncovered. It’s difficult, accepting Miriam’s comfort when all these edges and ridges must be so rough for another person to touch. But it’s too scary to let go of it now, too. So Kiwi presses their forehead into their friend’s warm steady body, and lets Miriam decide when it gets too much.

They reach Langtree deep into the night. The village is sound asleep, and silence and warm air wrap all over it like a comfortable heavy blanket. The flowers barely glow in time with the chirping of crickets, lulled to sleep with the rest of this small, harmonic world.

Kiwi points Miriam to the edge of the village, and they land onto a clearing cushioned with soft lush grass. Despite all the warmth and comfort of the gentle Langtree night, Kiwi can’t stop rubbing his shoulders. The nervous feeling that has been building up inside of him the entirety of the flight seems to have reached its peak. They look around, timid and unsure.

Next to them, Miriam is tightening her grip on the broom, seeming just as lost.

- Soooo…. What’s the plan, exactly? - she asks, skepticism only poorly covering the anxious notes in her voice.

Kiwi takes a cautious step toward the edge of the woods, tilting their head up. She closes her eyes and holds her breath, afraid of drowning out… something. The undefined and vague it she hopes to find here.

Behind them, Miriam starts nervously tapping her foot. After a full minute of intense listening, Kiwi has to admit that their friend's impatient shuffling and huffing is the only thing they can hear here. Their breath catches in their throat on the exhale. Is this it? Is there nothing? Has this all been in vain, are they never going to--

Miriam's hand lands on their shoulder and tugs at it, urging Kiwi to turn around. Miriam looks frustrated, and worried… and tired.

- Well?? - she demands, and Bard tries to gather their thoughts, to follow through on the promise. They are going to try to talk.

They grasp for the sensation of Miriam’s touch, trying to ground themself however they can.

-...Remember, - they start, voice wavering, and Miriam gives their shoulder a soft reassuring squeeze, - in the Spirit World… when an Overseer would… die, - Kiwi swallows, the word heavy and cold in their stomach, - we could still feel… something? Their… presence.

Miriam nods, intent.

- I thought… maybe we would be able to find her here? Somehow… To… bring her back. - Bard's gaze wanders aimlessly, eyes unable to focus. He feels like he's falling, for miles and miles, with nothing to hold onto. - But there's… nothing here at all.

- Woah, hey.

Miriam grabs both of their hands. Kiwi looks down at them and notes how they are shaking in Miriam's steadying hold.

They take as deep of a breath as they can, with the panic rolling up to their throat in a thick suffocating wave. Miriam encouragingly rubs their hand with her thumb. Kiwi finds her eyes and gives her as much of a grateful smile as they can.

- ...Do you feel anything?

Bard can almost feel the last string of hope stretching excruciatingly thin.

Miriam gives Kiwi a glum look, then sighs in resignation. She closes her eyes and takes a step back, frowning with focus.

A few seconds pass in tense silence that floods Bard’s every sense. At last, Miriam exhales, her shoulders dropping, and shakes her head.

Bard feels something in him give out.

The air between them is hopelessly and unmistakably dead.

- ...Do we even need her back? - Miriam grumbles. - I don't get why you're trying so hard to--

The immediate deafening sickness that crashes over Kiwi must be shockingly obvious, because Miriam is immediately at their side, calling out in hurried worry:

- Okay, okay, I'm sorry!!! - she plants her hands firmly on Kiwi’s shoulders. - I get it. This is… big.

Bard manages a shaky nod, struggling against paralyzing fear. Their scrambled thoughts are going a thousand miles a second, swarming their brain with dizzying questions, too many to count or process. Is this how Miriam feels about them, too, what would she think if she knew, is she right, is the world right, are they doomed for not feeling the same way, is it too late for them, is it too late for her…

- Kiwi.

Miriam's voice sounds unnervingly serious, insistent, but also… pleading, in a way that, in the middle of this whirlpool of emotions, makes Bard's heart ache.

The two of them stare at each other, from what feels like miles away, balancing on the edge of feelings that would be too big to handle, right now. So they hold hands, and keep each other's feet on the ground, as firmly as they can.

Bard draws a long shaky breath and smiles, weakly, affirming that they see their friend, hear her, understand what the look in her eyes means. Miriam exhales, letting go of the obvious panicked guilty tension.

- Okay... Let's see.

With one hand at her chin, Miriam frowns at the ground, the tapping of her foot resuming. Her other hand is holding onto Kiwi's.

- The… thing never actually happened… here. It was this… weird whacky "this world-Spirit World" collision.

Miriam looks at Bard, small and unsure.

- We should probably check the, uh, other side. - They watch her scrape together every tiny shred of confidence in her possession before she speaks again, bravely feigning certainty. - Come on!!

Kiwi lets Miriam lead her through the trees, past her house, looking dark and abandoned, up the flowering hill. She feels absolutely wrecked. It is infinitely comforting, to lean into Miriam's decisiveness, let her take charge. But Miriam's hand in Kiwi's own is sweating nervously, and from time to time, they squeeze her fingers, to offer her whatever presence they can.

The realization does not dawn on Bard until they reach the towering Tree of Slumber. Once it does, though, they are stopped dead in their tracks, letting go of Miriam's hand. Oh no.

Miriam takes a couple more steps toward the mystic giant and measures it up. With a heavy sigh, she starts rummaging through her pockets. She looks... tired. There is no way she is getting any sleep tonight, and the emotional exhaustion combined with the long, long day she's having must be absolutely draining.

- We go together. Find each other as soon as we can, - she throws a concerned look in Bard's direction, - um… hopefully.

Kiwi responds with a stifled high-pitched "mhm!!..", frantically searching for any way out of this. There are none. Miriam is right. The Spirit World is the only next logical step.

Miriam freezes, hands at her sides. She looks over at Bard, an embarrassed blush creeping up her face.

- I, uh. don't have my piccolo. - She stares down at the ground, arms crossed. - So… just!! go first.

Bard swallows a panicked chuckle. Sure. Singing. That is a thing they do.

They approach the Tree on weak legs, fiddling with their fingers in nervous desperation. Miriam watches them, her cheeks still a self-conscious pink. This feels like walking off a cliff edge, trying to get ready to plummet into the ocean below. They're not. They're desperately not ready to disclose this. But time and circumstance keep pushing them forward with undeniable urgency, no matter how hard they dig their heels into the ground.

Kiwi draws a deep full breath. Before he even attempts to sound the first note, he feels it fall dead, empty and flat.

This won't work. He doesn't even have to try.

Bard could laugh from all the hopelessness they are feeling. Who even knew that they still had new, beautifully soul-crashing lows to hit! But the supposed laugh chokes them up, gets stuck in their throat in a hard clump, making their eyes water.

The look in Miriam's eyes shifts from defensive to intense. She watches Kiwi in silence, waiting. When a few seconds pass and the quiet between them is not broken, her whole body is suddenly charged and seething.

- I knew it!!! - She balls her fists. - I knew there was something wrong!! - She glares at Kiwi with flaming self-righteous anger mixed with frantic concern. - Fess up!!!

Bard feels their lip start to quiver and slaps both hands over their face. They try to breathe steady.

- I… - Their voice is dangerously shaky. The choking knot is coming looser and looser. - I can't… do it. I can't… sing. Not like that.

Kiwi finally lets the suffocating laugh out. Miriam must appreciate just how incredibly ridiculous, impossibly hopeless this is, right? The sound escapes their constricted throat in a twisted, gasping sob. All at once, all that was left of their strength evaporates into thin air.

Bard's back presses against the rough bark of the tree, and they let their body slide down it, curling up between its roots.

With the scariest confession they ever had to make out in the open, Kiwi feels suddenly and brutally gutted, all of the messiest most vulnerable parts of them mercilessly on display. And they just won't stop spilling out, now.

When, after a few seconds of broken raw silence, Miriam's steps grow close, her shoulder presses against their own, and her hair tickles their cheek as she helplessly tries to meet their eyes, Bard takes their hands away, their face a wet mess, and lets the words that have been buried in their chest like dead drowning weight come out in a flood.

- It's no good anymore, I can't… sing anything good anymore, not anything that anyone would want! I can't join anyone else, it's all just… not coming out right… I tried, I really, really tried to mean it, I really wanted… to stay… in the song… But all that is left is… the other one. I know that if I try… to be honest… it will come out. And it can't! So I… can't.

Kiwi's hands are flying in the air now, frantic and shaking, desperately trying to dry their face, helplessly twisting into vague inarticulate gestures.

Miriam's fingers wrap around one and bring it down, carefully, like a panicked fledgling. Then Kiwi's other hand finds itself in Miriam's, pacified. Miriam leans even closer in, meets Bard’s eyes, fixes them with her gaze. She is sulking, and teary-eyed.

In a quiet, rough tone, she asks:

- Why?

Bard tries to swallow another whimper, but does not have any will left to suppress it.

- It's her, Miriam! - she moans, desperate for her friend to understand. But that's not quite right, that's not what's so scary about this. - Or… it's… me. I… feel what she feels. - They take a ragged, sharp breath.- I think I… always have?..

Miriam's face scrunches up in clear confusion.

- Always? Like… this??

Bard shakes their head.

- Not like this, just… the normal way. We’re… similar. - They curl up into a ball, burying their face in their knees. - We want… the same things. And I still can't… let go! I can't be better than that. - They grip the fabric of their cape, crumple it in their tense aching fingers. - Even after everything.

The last words come out in a helpless wailing sob, probably barely intelligible.

Kiwi lets the crying fit overtake them and rattle their entire being until it, hopefully, exhausts itself. Their head hurts. They feel deeply, irreversibly drained, bone-weary. They are barely aware of anything but the violent spasms of their body and the unbearable weight crushing and shattering their heart. All these tears are not even leaving them soothed or unburdened.

Miriam clings to them with a death grip, as if they're about to be ripped away by a storm. She waits, and does not say anything.

It takes a while to weather it, but Bard is already so incredibly tired. There is only so much senseless sobbing their nerves can handle.

They sigh.Their breath is weak and unsteady. Feeling weirdly empty, they let their body slump in Miriam's arms and stare blankly into the quiet still night.

What now?

They feel Miriam take a deep breath.

- Sing it.

Bard turns to her with a look of disbelief and fear, and quietly shakes their head. Miriam furiously rolls her eyes.

- Just sing it, okay?! It's hers, so what? It's yours, too, and you're here!

Kiwi grabs their shoulders, suddenly feeling very cold.

- I don’t want to. I don't... think I could come back from that. And it wouldn’t be… right.

She looks up at Miriam, distant and despondent.

- Would I break the world?..

Miriam freezes in contemplation - for only a second. Then, she shakes her head.

- You don't actually think you're the only person on the entire planet who feels all that, right?

Bard shrugs, their gaze wandering away. Among all the bright happy beginnings, it sure feels this way. Incredibly and inescapably lonely.

Miriam leans forward and looks them in the eye.

- I’ll listen. I promise, okay? You won't, "break", anything.

Kiwi studies his friend's eyes for what feels like eternity, trying to understand the certainty, the intensity… the longing. Looking at Miriam now, they can see her own loneliness, so very different from theirs. It’s begging for them to finally be honest, impatient to hear all that they have to share. Almost hungry for it.

They turn their attention inward. The haunting song is there, always within reach - all they need to do is let it happen. The weird and terrifying phantom connection is fading, but the song is not. It's… theirs. It's the only one they have, if they hope to ever be able to sing again. They have just been biding their time, haven’t they?

They put their hand on top of Miriam's, hold it as tight as they can and give a slow nod. Miriam tightens her arms around them, prepared.

Bard straightens their back and breathes in, deep, feeling the air fill their lungs and ignite the notes that have been ready to burst out of their chest. They squeeze their eyes shut and take the leap.

The first fragile sound balances on the tip of their tongue for a brief moment before falling into the warm night air. Their voice is hoarse, worn out by their sobbing, but, for the first time in a long time, it carries the melody without fault. They have forgotten just how natural this can feel…

The song hangs heavy in the air around them, slowly unfurling the vast and desolate scape of loneliness, dread, old unhealed hurt. It's not easy to sing; but it's right to.

Bard hesitantly opens their eyes and stumbles, their voice wavering. In front of them, a little ways down the hill, one of the shimmering flowers is growing a dark blue colour, dimmer than Bard has ever seen it turn. Their heart falls. They should stop, they shouldn't--

Miriam's hands squeeze their shoulders. Slowly, quietly, she picks up the melody, sends the song afloat again for a little bit longer. Her voice is timid, but steady, waiting for Bard to join back in.

Kiwi gives the swirling dark of the flower's petals one last long look, then forces themself to meet his friend's eyes and follows her lead, one unsure note at a time. Their voices blend together, echoing each other's uncertainty. Holding each other up. Slowly, ever so subtly, they both grow stronger.

Bard finds a new feeling running through the cold heavy stream of their melody. It fills them with live, current electricity. Miriam is not singing from herself; but she is lending her voice to their feeling, readily and fully. Hearing all their fear and despair unearthed and echoed in her timbre rips their heart open in the gentlest, most fulfilling way, like it’s been ripe and ready for it. For the first time in a long, long time, they feel… understood. Like there is a place for them in this world. Here and now.

Love, gratitude, relief swirl in Kiwi’s heart, vigorous yet sweet, tender. This time, their tears are quiet and warm.

They fall fully into the song, voice soaring. They want to be heard. They want to sing all of it, they want to share everything, to be known. It's okay if they are. There is a heart that's been waiting to hold them.

The dark blue flows to the edges of trembling petals, dissipated by sparks of gold, bright and bold. The flower blooms and blazes like a tiny flame.

With every next note of the song, now loud, clear, true, another blossom ignites in bright colour. Shimmering light rolls down the hill, springing from petal to petal, stitching into a glowing pattern as far as Bard and Miriam's voices can reach. The two of them sing in the softly illuminated night, drifting on the swelling notes.

Overhead, out of view, past the far-reaching crown of the Tree of Slumber, a few stars start burning brighter. They glimmer in every shade of the rainbow, mirroring the glowing pattern that has been painted across the quiet meadow in the small village of Langtree. A new constellation forms, and for a moment, the night sky grows brighter and closer.

***

Lights ignite in the soundless dark, one by one.

They rip the shrinking, dissipating void open, and for a moment, you're blinded and confused.

The warm glow beckons you - elsewhere. It leads somewhere that isn't this. There is a place for you; somewhere to be.

The road is stitched in starlight, and it is for you. The gentle flames are here to warm you, every cold, numb part of you. The distant lights that mark your way are steady and sure - they will not fade, they will not leave you to stray. They are here to bring you home.

You reach, tentatively, with all that you are, scared it will all vanish in the blink of an eye, another sick, cruel trick of the universe.

The glow envelops you, takes all of you into itself. It carries you along, gently encouraging you to take the next step.

You are safe here. You are safe now.

You are not alone.

[byeongqueen]

Keonhee SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

I think Keonhee gives affection in his own personal way. He’s probably kind of over-affectionate at times, or giving like huge hugs out of the blue.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He’s always smiling, trying to cheer up people when they get sad for a reason or another. He’d probably give you his best Doraemon impersonation if it makes you smile even the slightest.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

A full body cuddler, he’s pretty tall, and likes to engulf your whole body with his, holding you tight.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I think he wouldn’t be against settling down, but not that quick into the relationship. He’d cook often, but don’t let that boy near bacon, or there will be none for the actual dish.

He would split the chores with you, 50/50.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Oh my god, tears, from both of you. He’d be so sorry, not wanting to do that, but you know how feelings are, completely unpredictable.

If he were to break up because of you making a mistake like cheating, that would be a whole other story, and he would be dry, and cold as heck.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Like I said earlier, once he is sure you are the one and only, he would be aaaaaaall about commitment, but he has to be sure about him.

I don’t see him getting engaged before like 2 years into the relationship.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Gentle, but sometimes clumsy I feel like? He would never even think about hurting you, and would protect you with all his might (and all his height as well)

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Big, crushing, overwhelming, loving hugs. Has a preference for the ones where you put your head on his chest, or spooning if you both are laying down.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He wouldn’t say it too often, but doesn’t hesitate to do it if it is in the mood. I feel like he has million other ways to show it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Yeah, pretty jealous, but would neveeeeer tell you.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Soft, tender, like feathery touches. He always has at least one hand on you when you kiss, whether it is the small of your back, cupping your face, etc ..

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Keonhee is a curious and gentle person. He’d be good around children, but not impatient on getting his own.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Expect a lot of lazy morning on his days off. This boy can never sleep in, so he will be doing it a lot when he can. Lots of cuddling and lazy kisses involved. When you’re the little spoon, he loves to kiss the back of your neck.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

I’d see you having a lot of movie nights, either at home or at the movie theater. He likes to go outwith you as well, but getting more well known with the group, it is sometimes difficult.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

If we talk about things in the relationship, he will reveal things quite quickly, not wanting to hide anything from you, ever. And if he reveals faster, he will know quicker if you are made or each other.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Pretty patient I guess, unless someone pushes his buttons, or says something on a subject they shouldn’t have.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He is really attentive to you and all you say, but he can’t help to forget some details, especially if he’s stressed or really tired. He often beats himself up for that, and you constantly reassure him that it’s okay.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Probably the moment he laid eyes on you for the first time. What he didn’t like though, was the constant teasing from the boys when they noticed how his eyes were burning holes through your body.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Pretty protective, would always check up on you, be worried of your well-being.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He would often miss anniversaries because of his hectiv schedule, but he would always try to make it up to you any way he can.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

I don’t really see it as a bad habit, but I can see him being extra hyper when he gets nervous ? Like being a bit too loud, moving as much as possible.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Pretty concerned, but I mean, his looks are a good part of his job. Not concerned to the point where he would spend hours in the bathroom though.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

I think Keonhee, once he finds his soulmate, the person he wants to keep for te rest of his life, wouldn’t be able to imagine his life without them

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Dancing, a lot of dancing, would probably try to teach you sometimes, and being always so gentle if you fail. Would want to make cute choreographies with you, just to bond even more (and also to have his hands on you, but that’s a whole other story)

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

We all know that Keonhee hates awkward silences, so I think giving him the cold shoulder when you’re upset could make him kind of mad ? He’d rather have you talk about what’s going on right away.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Clinging to you in his sleep. In all the aspects of your life with Keonhee, expect loooooots of cuddling.

[purplesurveys]

1209

Have you ever lost any friends over something small and stupid? I don’t hesitate to unfriend or stop talking to people who go the extra mile to bash on things I happen to be genuinely interested in, especially if those interests never really hurt anyone. For instance, I’ve clicked unfriend on a bunch of people who kept going on about how Friends is unfunny during the time they were promoting the reunion special last month. Having different opinions is completely fine, and it’s more than ok with me that people won’t always like the same things I do; but it doesn’t mean they have to voice it out every hour or so. Anyway, I don’t need to feel negative going through my own feed so it’s easy for me to lose online relationships over those things.

Are you more prone to being the social butterfly, or the wallflower? Honestly I’m right in the middle. I’m ok with initiating things if no one else would, but if someone in a circle proves to be more extroverted than I am, then I usually let them take the lead.

Do you prefer group projects, or would you prefer to work alone? Depends on the work at hand but I am grateful to an extent for group projects because it can let other people shine at tasks I’m not so good at, which can then help make the final output better.

Have you ever had to make yourself a birthday cake because no one else did? No, doesn’t really matter to me.

Would you rather go to a Katy Perry or Taylor Swift concert? Probably Katy’s but with an older setlist. I’m not too keen on her newer stuff.

What pattern do the sheets on your bed have? It has various geometric patterns, so like squares and rectangles and stripes.

Are your days full and fast-paced? Very much so. I can hardly believe we’re already in JUNE; I barely notice the days and weeks passing by anymore.

What languages can you count to ten or higher in? English, Filipino, Spanish, Korean.

Where did you get the underwear you’re wearing? I don’t even remember anymore.

Is it hard for you to let something go that you know isn’t right for you? I’ve felt that way, yeah. It’s acknowledging that that’s the hardest.

Are you good with painting nails with your left hand? I’m not good at painting nails in general lol, my hands tend to shake.

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Mmmm with friends not so much. If I was in a crowded bar though I would never share drinks. Too dangerous and besides, it’s pretty disgusting as well.

Do you call any of your friends by their last name? I don’t think any of them go by their last name as their nickname. There were people in high school who were like this, but I’ve since lost contact with them.

How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning? Depends on how lazy I’m feeling that morning. It can take anywhere between 10 seconds to an hour.

Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Have either of your grandparents ever told you a sexual joke? If they have, it most definitely would have come from my maternal grandfather. Then again he passed away when I was 17 and I doubt he would’ve let such a joke slide when I was that young, so I guess the answer to this would be no.

Do you spend more time outside or inside? I’m answering this survey in the time of the c-word, so you take a guess.

Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? TV. I’ve let go of it a longgggggg time ago lol. I’ve only recently started to use ours again so I can watch from YouTube on a bigger screen, but even then it would still be easy to give it up.

Do you own any fake designer purses? Nope.

Have you ever gotten lost in a department store? LOL yeah, plenty of times. I don’t do a good job of navigating.

Who was the last person to text you before you went to bed last night? Someone from the media but I ignored the text.

Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months? Nope.

When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? Christmas Eve, but it was extremely brief. The last long conversation we had was a little before that.

Do you cry easily? A little bit, yeah.

Are you worried about anything right now? Kind of, but I’m trying not to focus on it.

How do you think tomorrow will be? A loooooot of fucking fun. I can’t wait for tomorrow; I bought a ticket for BTS’ 2-day show for their 8th anniversary and Angela and Hans will be coming over, and we’ll also set up a video call with Reena for both days so we can all watch together. We’ll order in Korean food tomorrow then pizza, wings, and chips for the second show on Monday :D I’m so excited!!

Do you wish you could take one thing back? Nothing major.

What color are your eyes? Dark brown/black.

Have you ever fallen asleep texting someone? Sure.

Have you hugged anyone in the past 72 hours? I have not.

Have you ever given anyone more than three chances? Yes.

What’s the last thing you watched on TV? I think just some BTS performances and music videos that I streamed from YouTube.

Which room in your house tends to be the coldest in the winter time? Downstairs in general.

Who were you with the last time you went out for food? Angela, Hans, Kyelle, Pia, Al, Sam, and Gab.

Were you in a good mood last night? Yeah, I had a great time last night.

Are you trying to grow out your hair? Nope. It’s super long now and I want to have it dramatically trimmed; I just can’t find the time to do it.

Which friend are you most similar to? Not sure, maybe Angela.

[sickofyouandyourcormanobullshit]

It’s Time

I’ve been debating with myself this question: If it were me, and one of my favorite blogs just stopped updating for no reason, would I prefer they make a whole giant post about why they’ve left or just have them fade off into the night? I still don’t really know what the right answer for that is, but I figured that, y’know, it is about time I put the final nail in the coffin and closure is nice, actually.

So, yes. I’ve decided to put this blog on indefinite hiatus.

No, I am not deleting this blog or the YouTube channel. Ever. No matter what happens, just the existence of this blog is very important to me. Even when it stops being posted to, just having the archive there for everyone to have is a fandom necessity. In fact, I’m still looking for websites to back up this blog in case Tumblr goes t*ts up (making sure there isn’t any female presenting nipples, of course).

But, this has been a long time coming, I feel. And for that, I’m sorry. I’ve tried everything I could to keep this going for as long as I possibly could, but there’s just nothing left in me now that wants to keep this blog active. 

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all. I’ve been at this since 2014 (Fucking! FIVE years!) and my time here could not have been better. You all treated me with so much kindness and respect, putting your upmost faith in me to archive and update as efficiently as possible. When I started, I couldn’t have ever predicted this blog becoming a fandom staple, that it would eventually become the backbone of a community that desperately needed a platform and a voice for their hobbies. I know that when I look back at these times, I’ll always feel happiness that I had the chance to give people this opportunity at all.

If you’re interested to know the nitty gritty about why I came to this decision, it’ll be below the cut. It’ll be a bit (a lot) more negative than what’s been said until now, so if you just want to end this on a happy note, than I’ll be happy to see you off. Goodbye!

Okay, so. I’ve got a couple major reasons why this has come to be.

1.) My personal life is in shambles. For those who may be reading this that were/are active on the Discord server, you may have noticed that I’ve also straight up disappeared from there as well. This is because a lot (A loooooot) of things have gone awry in my life and they’re kinda tw worthy so I won’t divulge too much detail in this regard! Just know that life as an adult is hard as heck and I’ve kinda run short on time to be able to handle the amount of responsibility that this blog/channel requires! I’m an adult in college that only has spare time to look at Twitter fleetingly and then go back to looking at internships and build my social media presence as a professional! All I have time for is work, work, and more work! Ah! (Also I generally have just come to really feel anxious when it comes to even opening Discord/Tumblr so I’ve just gone to avoiding them all together. I couldn’t feel more shitty about this development than I already do).

2.) I’ve lost interest in this fandom. This one is so hard to admit because I’ve kinda been denying it for a reeeeal long time, but, uh, yeah. I’m someone who’s in a fandom for the long haul. There are fandoms that I’m in that I’ve been a part of for over 10 years, with content being minimal. So, this absolutely has nothing to do with the inactivity really, because I was honestly real content with just having my bubble of Discord friends and have that be my fandom experience. It’s just, uh....

3.) I really hate PewDiePie. I really, really, do. I absolutely detest everything that this man has become, what he stands for, and the fanbase he has accumulated. I know he’s on the internet’s general good side right now so this could cause a bit of flak to come my way, but god damn. He was the first YouTuber that I ever truly fell in love with when I first watched his Facade videos back in 2012. Today, in 2019, I unsubscribed from his channel. (Yeah, I know, big whoop. First world problems. Cry me a river liberal). But, generally, I’ve become really frustrated with him and his viewpoints. I hated that, just because I had an attachment to him and what his channel has done for me over the years, I was able to give excuses for all the bullshit he’s done. If it were literally anyone else, I would have never given them so many free passes. At some point, I just asked myself if it was worth it to keep being so hypocritical to the values I hold in such high regard and keep myself watching his content even though it deeply infuriated me, just for the nostalgia and good times that he provided me once upon a time. It sounds so unnecessarily dramatic when he’s just a YouTuber who I don’t know personally, but this essentially boils down to “Okay, I don’t have time to keep putting up with this constant source of negativity in my life, when I could so easily just cut it off and spend time doing something that is more valuable to me”. So, yup. That’s where I’m at with that. I’m basically turning away from all PewDiePie related content. Y’all can keep watching him though, but don’t think I don’t side eye you when you’re a leftist who gets mad at other content creators but keeps turning a blind eye to Mr. Felix.

That said...

I love Cry. I still love Cry. I feel like I will always love Cry. I will support him as best I can because he is so deserving of all love in this world. I don’t know anyone who is as self-sacrificing and generous as he is, so this is your reminder to catch up on his content if you’ve been kind of putting it off lately lol.

Of course, all of this is subject to change. These problems are all so temporary: Maybe, one day, in three thousand years time, I’ve got so much free time I don’t know what to do with it, PDC fandom starts thriving, and PewDiePie stops being a piece of shit. That’s why I hesitate to claim this blog is Dead 4ever. There might come a time where I come back! So, indefinite hiatus it is.

And, really, that’s all I have to say for now. Send me an ask, tell me I suck for being an SJW or whatever, or we can cry together. I don’t know. I won’t be back on Discord anymore, though.

Goodbye!

[ensnaredx]

IC QUESTIONS

RULES ➟ // Repost, don’t reblog. Fill in the questions with characters your muse knows - you cannot repeat people!

TAGGED BY: @super-kame-love TAGGING: whoever would like to!

There’s going to be repetitions. When you live in an underground cave with the same people, you’re going to have repetitive answers. 

PERSON THEY CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT: There was definitely a point where a tiny, fairly dependant Ko would’ve said Orochimaru. But then Orochimaru died and she continued to live. So I don’t think anyone would really fit this answer.

PERSON WHO NEVER FAILS TO MAKE THEM SMILE:  Mitsuki. He’s such a good, we don’t deserve him. And yeah, have they gotten on each others nerves before? Sure. Of course. Siblings (and sibling like relationships, in this case) definitely have that happen, but she’s always glad to see him.

PERSON THEY FEEL SAFE TO BE VULNERABLE AROUND:  Oro for sure, Mitsuki, she’s still pretty chill with Kiba back in Konoha and wouldn’t be bothered being vulnerable around him. In a verse that used to be my default (but the person it partnered with stopped rping rip so I changed it) Ko was taken in as a kid by Kakashi (the friend of mine) so he’d definitely be on that list in that regard.

PERSON THEY WANT TO SPEND THEIR LIFE WITH:  I’m going to be writing Orochimaru and Mitsuki a loooooot. I’ll shorten it to the snake fam. 

PERSON THEY FEEL THEY NEED TO PROTECT:  Ko has an entire period once Mitsuki leaves for school of ‘he’s on his own what if the other kids aren’t nice to him’ that is directly based on her own experience. And of course Konoha has changed, since they accepted Mitsuki in the first place, but Ko can be paranoid and ends up getting a place there to kinda watch over him. But he’s super strong and can take care of himself in most cases and she has to come to terms with that. 

PERSON THEY ARE AFRAID TO BE REJECTED BY:  Hi if you guessed ‘probably Orochimaru’ you’d be correct! Going back to ‘smol dependant Ko’ being tossed back out was 100% something that gave her anxiety. But said anxiety fueled a desire to work harder, but she was in a ‘I have literally nowhere else to go’ situation. So that idea scared her.

PERSON THEY’D TAKE SHIT FROM AND NOT MIND:  The whole snake fam, even including Suigetsu and karin and Juugo are allllll plenty sassy. It’s a family trait. But it’s one you get used to. 

PERSON THEY WOULDN’T HESITATE TO KILL:  Could I reference the curse mark from @ibitsuhebi and say technically if controlled enough I could write anyone’s name? But uh currently? Threats to her family are something she takes pretty seriously. 

PERSON THEY NEVER EXPECTED TO LIKE BUT NOW DO:  Kabuto! When they first met, Ko and Kabuto’s relationship was VERY TOXIC AND JUST NOT GREAT. Like just a ‘push each others buttons as often as possible and sometimes it turns into a physical fight’ but he actually grew on her a lot and she really likes him now. 

PERSON THEY FEEL BETRAYED BY:  Can I just say Konoha as a group? Because listen, whether you like snake fam or not or lean more to liking the Naruto ‘good’ side, Konoha isn’t great. It’s not a great atmosphere for a kid to grow up in. Naruto had a sucky childhood because of Konoha. Ko didn’t have a great one. There are actually a decent amount of characters who didn’t because Konoha then sucked. Still might kinda suck. Idk it seems better to me in Boruto. 

PERSON THEY RESPECT BUT DO NOT LIKE:  Even when Ko and Kabuto had their fighty / ‘annoy each other’ thing going on, Ko still respected him. She just didn’t really like him as a person. Now I’d say probably a few of the kages would be on that list? Maybe not so much ‘don’t like’ but just ‘don’t know very well but the kage position generally means you’re super tough and that deserves respect’

PERSON THEY FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE FAILED:  Hooooooo boy uh I mean when Oro died that was a tough situation of both knowing she wouldn’t have been able to do anything (because Sasuke) but also that thought of ‘would things have been different if I had been there?’ so that’s tough. Uh at one point she was searching for her family (she’s an orphan) and there weren’t any leads so she more or less gave up with a ‘well I have a new family now’ but sometimes she’s like should I have kept looking. 

[gemsonacity-blog-blog]

Yellow Squad

The yellow squad is a group of three elite members of the yellow diamond court which performs the functions of recon, murder and sabotage. They are the spearhead of the yellow diamond army in the battlefront, and of them...only the success is expected.

Perfect Apatite (left) : Apatite is one of the few friends of Jasper  and a warrior as well. She looks like a humble soldier that loves boxing and enjoys the simple pleasures but she is much more than that…  With 84562 years of history, this extremely powerful gem has had time to learn to hide her true self.

One of the most rational and irregular quartzs: She knows when to fight and when to surrender, is not usually carried away by emotions when making decisions and she is very loyal but not a blind lamb; She has her own ideas and ethics and will not hesitate to discuss an order to a superior if she considers it dangerous and / or illogical .Much more skilled in battle of what already pretends to be, a born leader, and a intellectual, formed beyond many engineers of yellow diamond (Let’s be serious, almost any gem with more than 1000 years old had a looooot of time to master a loooooot of things, imagine with almost 85000 years).

She believes in the survival of the gems above other races, but i’m not talking about hate or saying that she feels superior, no, I speak of pure survival; if one has to disappear to survive, she wont hesitate: her people go first… She thinks that cornered, everyone would do the same. Perfect Jasper: Is our jasper, what am i gonna tell about her? here is a bit more screwed in the psychological side, but is normal, in my au she is way older (74367 years old), with all the mental disorders that come from living that insane amount of time fighting every single day...  Even if Jasper is one of the biggest champions of the all powerful yellow diamond, she isn’t recognized by her master, wich gave all her atention to that defective pearl that doesnt want to be what she sould be, a slave. Under her shadow, jasper has been fighting all her life, trying to find a mayor purpose.   Black pearl: Black pearl is an “error”, a mixture between the programming of a pearl and an unknown quartz of the same quadrant, she is almost ruled out when it was discovered that she possessed free will, but the emerald that requested her decided to preserve Black pearl for its exotic beauty. she doesn’t feel the need to serve anyone and is physically and mentally stronger than any pearl, albeit a little less intelligent.

Tired of the indifference of her mistress, defied her orders by beating  an amethyst that had tried to abuse her, just in front of a yellow diamond. Far from being judged, yellow diamond was impressed with her will and unusual strenght, so she offered to be her subordinate, with the promise of travel among the stars and discover new worlds. She accepted, partly seduced by that illusion of freedom, but especially to see the expression of bitterness on the face of that emerald that considered her toy.

[michaelmitchikolopez-blog]

Food Writing

The Phenomenon that is “Silantro”

        Mexican cuisine is one of the most loved cuisines in the Philippines. This may be due to the fact that Mexico, in one way or another, has created an impact on us in the past. Millennials just love the spicy and savory flavor of Mexican food. It’s also an advantage that most of them can be eaten without the basic utensils and a plate.

         Currently, more restaurants and food trucks are gearing towards this kind of theme. In Quezon City, you could see a whole lot of this. However, one place at the UP Town Center is making waves because of its affordable price and great quality. It’s “Silantro: Fil-Mex Cantina.”

      Retrieved from http://www.tomguts.com/silantro-up-town-finally-opens/

        I went to this restaurant with two of my friends to eat out, celebrate, and enjoy the mall afterwards. The moment we arrived, I was taken aback by the number of people waiting to get a seat and order in this famous area. Because of this, the staff lets you order right away before even acquiring a slot. That was when I realized “this must be something special.” I saw the prices and yes, they were very affordable. Even students can buy their products. Since the Beef Nachos was their best seller, we ordered that and it only cost us 180 pesos.

        I was pretty much surprised with the amount of serving they gave us. It’s really a practical but because 3-4 people can eat it already. The restaurant sure knows how to satisfy customers. When I tasted it, heck it was an explosion of flavors! The cheese was solid while the beef gave the product a stronger taste and texture. They also provided us with 3 kinds of dips (which is refillable, by the way): the spicy cheese, the garlic sauce, and the green sauce. Out of these three, the second one was my most favorite. It added a new flavor to the nachos. The first one, on the other hand, was your typical Mexican dip while the last one was sweet, which was sorta odd.

         My friends and I were really impressed with Silantro. The fun-yet-respectable ambience gave us a chance to really enjoy our meal with conversations that can further solidify our bond. It made us really enthusiastic and positive about other meals available on the menu.

         We all had additional orders. Both of them got Quesadillas while I got a medio taco. According to my peers, they loved what they’ve ordered. Personally, I found the taco pretty overwhelming because it really had a loooooot of meat. You cannot eat it in one bite which can be both a good thing and bad thing. You need to remove some ingredients first before you can enjoy it.

         The staff was very accommodating although, to be honest, they cannot treat you like a prince or princess because of the number of people in the restaurant. It was understandable, and you would sometimes feel bad because most of them looked stressed with the flow. Overall though, the service was more than satisfactory.

        Silantro: The Fil-Mex Cantina is a good place to hang out with friends or catch up with family members. It’s not too formal yet not too casual so you could treat anyone here with no hesitations. It’s not going to give your wallet an illness as well for the products are very affordable. It’s nowhere impeccable but I personally enjoyed the food and the time with my friends.