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xticklemeemox · 8 months ago

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The Love You Want: III, Part Six

i probably shouldve mentioned the flower meanings in previous chapters before but eh

Blue aster: represent trustworthiness and faithfulness.

Blue Salvias: means "thinking of you,"

Azalea: Some cultures believe the flower symbolizes taking care of yourself and those around you.

Orange tulips: symbolize understanding and appreciation.

Pink tulips: Pink tulips are known for meaning affection, caring, good wishes, and love.

Forget-me-nots: represent loyalty and devotion.

Balloon flowers: These purple and blue blooms represent the desire for a friend to return, honesty and endless love.

Alyssum: In the Victorian language of flowers, Alyssums are known to mean "worth beyond beauty."

a03

masterlist

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word count: 10,923

link to site used for flowers mentioned in this chapter <3

III awoke that morning with a clear head, fully rested with no signs of pain throughout his body except for the slow healing bruising on their face. He was wrapped around II, holding the drummer's smaller body to III's taller one like a teddy bear as II's snores filled the silence. He looked peaceful, still at rest as the both of them were warm under the blankets with his head tucked under III's chin. III was content to lay there a little longer before going to seek out Vessel to tell him good morning and ask how his night went-

Then III realizes he can barely feel Vessel in the bond. He sits up quickly, accidentally waking II in the process, who sits up slower, rubbing his tired eyes. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

II barely manages to get his question out before III shoots out of bed, tripping over the blankets caught around their legs. "I can barely feel Vessel."

Any tiredness is sapped from II's bones like a lightning strike as the second vessel scrambles to completely attune himself to the bond he shares with the other two vessels. III is already out II's door, bare feet easily heard thumping against the flooring as they run down the hall towards Vessel's room. III's bond was a frantic mess of confusion and worry and panic.

II could not describe just how relieved he was when he felt Vessel's bond in tact, open but just barely, deliberate in how much of Vessel could be felt.

"He's not in his room, or the altar room!" III calls, footsteps pounding down the stairs.

II gets out of bed, too, socks slipping over the floor in his haste to help III check the house. His knee slams into the ground, sending pain up his leg and down the bond but he ignores it in his worry. Panicked cursing meets II's ears as he also makes his way down the stairs, forced to take them slower lest he slip and break his neck. II goes to check the bathroom and practice room as III checks the living room and kitchen, then heads outside. Neither notice that the vines, usually so lively, are listless, moving about the walls at a snails pace.

Vessel isn't in the house, and when III comes back in, II having heard him yelling for Vessel from inside, III says, "He's not out there either! The car's still parked outside. I- I can barely feel him. He promised! He promised he would try to keep the bond open! What happened?"

"I don't know sweetheart, he never usually goes out by himself... but the fucking car's still here...? Fuck, the only place we haven't checked is the attic and most of the forest. With his bond like it is, we'd never find him amidst all those damn trees."

All III can picture in his mind is a bloody Vessel, lost somewhere in the forest, even if the bond shows no pain. He has lied to them with it before.

A thought strikes them-

"Our phones! Have we tried calling him?" III asks, already taking II's arm and pulling him up the stairs.

They apologize when II slips, helping keep him upright as they go slower. "Fucking socks. I'm sorry."

"Its okay, doll, I'm not meaning to rush you."

"You're worried about Ves, sweetheart, it's alright."

III goes to grab his phone off the nightstand in II's room, pausing when he sees three of them, with a note placed over one. "He left his phone..."

"The note says he'll be back soon. He even put the cute six eyed smiley face." II says, taking in Vessel's elegant cursive.

III runs a hand through his loose blonde curls, then does it again to try and release some of the restless energy inside them, "We could ask Sleep again?"

"You probably should, I've displeased the God each time. I'm... not as respectful as I should be when it concerns Vessel's safety."

II knows that he should show the God more respect. That Sleep is his God as much as He is the others'. That he chose Sleep, chose this life... but II hates that Sleep is a flawed God. Just as any other being. Hates that Vessel can't seem to see it, or perhaps doesn't care due to his own lack of self-love and his unending devotion to the God.

III nods in understanding, tugging gently on their bond with Sleep. There is no answer. Not the first time, the second, nor the fifth. Each time, the furrow between III's brow deepens in frustration.

"He's not answering."

"Damn it... why?" II sighs, "We could try the altar?"

"Yeah, yeah, okay, we can do that."

Seeking comfort, II and III link their hands together, heading down the hall. The altar room is dark when they enter, III lighting the candles littering the floor for light they don't truly need. II stops when he reaches the altar itself, eyes widening slightly at what greets him.

There's a drop of blood on the table, red and black swirls telling exactly who it came from. It drips over the edge of the table, a stained knife sitting next to the offering plate.

III steps up next to II, noticing the bloody knife as well. He freezes at the sight of the blood, the red all he can seem to focus on. The scent of iron invades their nostrils, fear flooding the bond like a tidal wave.

In their minds eye, Vessel is bleeding out, laid over the altars edge like he had fallen asleep in worship. Blood drips from his open mouth, red pouring from his mangled arms.

III trembles, letting out a small cry when the match burns their fingers. He'd let it linger in his grip too long. They curse at the pain, silently glad for it, as it pulled them out of their head, putting the match out quickly and lighting another to continue lighting candles. Their mouth is pulled into a grim line, just the same as II's.

II is still standing in the same spot, staring down at the stained knife and blood splotch, when III comes back with a wet rag to wipe up the blood. He refuses to let this newfound fear take ahold of him, to ruin his favorite color. Even as he trembles, even as he still gets flashes of a bloody Vessel every time they blink, III forces themself to remain strong in the face of the blood.

"Has he been offering his blood to Sleep?" III asks quietly, running a hand through his hair as he kneels by the altar.

They light a stick of incense while waiting for a response from II, who slowly kneels to sit beside him silently, finally seeming to realize III was saying something.

"He must be." II's throat is tight with emotion, putting a hand on III's thigh in a desperate bid for comfort.

He needs to keep the tears at bay. He can't break down, he isn't the only one worried right now. II needs to keep it together.

"Might be why he doesn't want us to see him worship." III says, one shaking hand falling to hold II's tightly.

"He used to. We used to worship together, in the beginning. At some point, he asked to worship alone. I wish I knew why. There's so much he keeps from us. I hate it. I just want him to trust us. To be able to trust us."

"I think he does trust us though. Its just- He may not know how to open up, or maybe he doesn't think we'd want him to."

"But we tell him! We tell him all the time that he can lean on us if he needs it. We tell him that we're here for him. We take care of his cuts when he lets us, or asks. We don't... we don't pry nearly as much as I want to. I'm always so happy when he lets us hold him close, even if I can barely feel the pressure of his arm on mine when we sit close. Even if I can't feel his warmth when he cuddles with us! He doesn't- I know he didn't believe me when I told him I loved him!" II cries, not letting himself truly sob like he wants to.

Fuck, II needs to be stronger than this.

II continues, "I want him to believe that I care for him, even if he doesn't believe I love him. I need him to know that he is adored. He worries me, all the time, and I love him so dearly that I don't care about that stress as much as I should. I know its not his fault, I know that this is years of some sort of abuse that made him this way- I just... shit, III."

III listens, not sure what to say, letting II cry into their shoulder. Lets II wrap his arms around III, lets the other put their weight on him as III leans his head on II's shoulder, swamping him in a tight hug that brings some comfort to them both. They know he doesn't mean to, doesn't realize how deeply they care for him, but Vessel worries them so much.

III will tell him. Its time for Vessel to know that they love him. The biggest hurdle will be getting him to believe them. If Vessel didn't believe II when he told him, why would Vessel believe III?

When II finally cries as much as their body will allow, harsh whines and whimpers as his tears overflow fading into quiet little hiccups and sniffles, he speaks, "Ask Sleep where he is. Please."

It takes Sleep some time to answer, minutes passing without their candle lighting up. II and III almost give up by the time Sleep finally arrives. There's a twinge of annoyance in His voices when He asks what it is the vessels needed.

"We're worried about Vessel. Do you know where he is?"

"My First is with me, in my realm. He left you a note telling you of his eventual return, did he not? He left his bond open, did he not?"

"Well, yes, but-" III starts, as II squeezes his hand, worried.

"We're worried he's hurt. It doesn't feel like he's in your realm. His bond- Its not fuzzy around the edges in a mockery of rest-"

"My First will explain things to you when I return him here. You will leave us be until then, my vessels."

II bites his tongue, wanting desperately to say something snarky in return. Its understandable that the God wants to not be disturbed, but they're worried. So worried. For Vessel to disappear like this so soon after what happened to III. Neither of them thought it was without good reason.

II is angry, too. At the situation. Maybe a little at Vessel for doing this to them. He left them a note, sure, but if he is only in Sleep's realm, he could have just... No. The God never gives any warning. This is not Vessel's fault.

Fuck. II hates this. Hates the uncertainty of the situation.

"Alright..." III mutters, clearly not pleased either.

Softening His tone slightly, almost apologetically, "I will return him at the end of the day. Fret no longer, my vessels."

"Thank you, Sleep, for answering our call." III says, as the God's presence begins to fade.

A brush of feeling along their bond with the God, so unlike their own bonds yet still similar, brings acceptance and a small apology.

When II is sure Sleep is no longer near, he lets out a frustrated cry so unlike anything III has ever heard from him.

"If Vessel is in Sleep's realm, why didn't He just take Vessel's mind from his body, here in the house where we can watch over him? Why isn't Vessel here?" II asks, and III can only shrug helplessly, not really understanding.

III had heard them mention Vessel often being taken to Sleep's realm unannounced, but has never witnessed it themself. This situation is out of his realm of knowledge, and so he can't help II. III hates that. Its not their fault, Sleep hasn't done it since III has been around. Clearly, the grace period is over.

"To warn you in advance, Vessel is always... restless. When he returns from Sleep's realm. Desperate to write down what he gleaned from the God's cryptic messages. He explained once that the God will not let him leave until he understands whatever melody or lyric he thinks Vessel could use. I don't know if he'll return that way now, since it seems his entire body is in the realm instead of just his mind but- its better for you to be prepared, in case. If he's in a bad headspace, we'll have to ask him questions later."

"Alright." III takes a second to think of what to say, what to do, "Then we just... wait for him to get back?"

II sighs, "Yeah, that's what Sleep said."

III fiddles with II's fingers, hand still held over his. "Well, I suppose now is as good a time as any to put my plan for the garden into action."

"Would you like help?"

"No, it's okay. I appreciate the offer. I want to work on it myself. Vessel helped me plan so much of it... And I need something to do. Wanna have us all be able to finish NieR together, don't really feel like practicing my bass right now."

"Okay sweetheart, I'm going to be in the practice room. I need to get out some of this frustration. I hate that Sleep doesn't understand where our worry stems from, and so doesn't seem to care about it at all."

III is still trying to find words to say when II stands, leaning down to give III a kiss on the crown of his head before disappearing out the altar room door. Sighing, III takes the snuffer and starts to put out the candles. The tips of their fingers still sting and he realizes he must have burned them worse than they thought.

II catches them in the upstairs living room on the way to their room, holding a red med-kit in hand, larger than any of the ones they've taken to keeping in their own rooms. "For your fingers, I can feel your pain. I'm sorry I didn't catch it before. This is the only first aid kit with burn cream."

II leads III to one of the small lounge chairs in the bare upstairs sitting room. As he applies burn cream and then some bandages around the tips of three of III's fingers, he comments on the healing slice on III's palm as III relishes in the coolness of the cream soothing the sting. "I'm glad to see this is healing well. It should be gone within a week or two more."

"Oh good, I feel bad every time Vessel sees the bandage and gets guilty again. And it makes it hard to play my bass sometimes. Still stings."

"He'll be happy when it's completely healed, and you never do something like that again." II states sternly, soft eyes going a little hard.

"I had to get the blade away from him." III mutters, chastised but still not thinking he was entirely in the wrong.

"You panicked, I know. I... It upset me too. I've never... I've never seen him do it before. Only ever helped with the aftermath." II says softly, gaze a little distant as they finish bandaging III's hands, keeping them in a gentle grip.

"I never want to see him do it again. I know how unlikely that is." III says bitterly, less upset at Vessel himself and more that he ever needed to resort to hurting himself at all to cope with whatever he was dealing with. "I... I'm afraid of blood now... I keep seeing him- Seeing him bleeding out in front of me- There's always so much blood- I- I hate it."

"Oh, Three, sweetheart..." II starts, but III cuts him off.

"I'm not going to be forever. I won't let myself. Red is the color of your cheeks and neck, your shoulders even, when you blush. Its the color of Vessel's eyes, like rubies. It was my favorite color, Before. Its my favorite color now. I'm going to work on it, no matter how long it takes. I'm going to overcome this fear."

There is such conviction in III's words that II could never doubt him.

"My fear of spiders... I'll work on it too, even if it means I'm only not afraid of you. I know you're not a spider, and even if you can manifest the arms of one, it shouldn't change anything but... but my brain thinks otherwise, despite my heart's protests."

"I appreciate that. I really, really do. It hurt so badly, when you were scared of me, Doll."

"I know sweetheart, I'm so sorry." II leans forward and wraps III in a hug, pulling him close.

Their breaths breeze gently on each of their ears, and they take in each others scent like oxygen. "Why don't we work on our gifts from Sleep together? I can get used to your spider power that way."

His voice in III's ear, lowered to a careful murmur so as to not hurt him with the noise so close, sends shivers down III's spine. Arousal simmers low in their gut at II's closeness becoming apparent, the warm weight of him pressed into III.

"Sure." III mutters, thinking about those lips so close to the sensitive, pointed shell of his ear.

"I really want to kiss you." III declares, and II laughs as he rolls his eyes though III can't see, a breathy, disbelieving thing that sends more tingles through III's body.

"Oh, you want to do more than that, sweetheart. To think, we were just having a serious conversation." II pulls back, away from III, just enough for their eyes to meet.

Blues of similar color, surrounded by a sea of darkness, darkened in interest. "When the opportunity arises, we're going to be having another serious conversation soon, with Vessel." III promises, the arm they wrapped around II's back when they started to hug sinking dangerously close to II's ass.

II simply watches III for a moment, studying them. Absentmindedly, II taps out a beat on III's thigh.

"I scared him off for a while when I confessed." II frowns, unsure. "He wouldn't, or couldn't speak to me until you got here. Tried to avoid me. Hurt himself."

III takes care to listen to what II is saying. They know it won't be easy.

"It can't hurt to try. I love him, you love him, I love you, so, I want to at least try to convince him." III insists.

Without warning, II leans forward and places a gentle, feather light kiss against the corner of III's mouth before barreling into their chest in a proper, tight hug.

"I love you too." II says into III's chest, turning as pink as III's cheeks.

This is the first time they've ever properly said it. The last time II uttered those words, his heart was mended and then shattered in the span of a few seconds and Vessel couldn't even look at him. II and III had intended to wait until they confessed to Vessel, but these last few days had been so hard despite the good moments. Even if it would shatter the both of them to pieces that only the other could hope to pick back up, at least they would have each other if Vessel ultimately didn't accept their love for him.

Bandaged fingers slip between the strands of II's hair, III's hand coming to rest on the back of his head after sliding up his back. "We'll tell him soon, and hope it goes well."

"I hope it does." II murmurs, words almost lost in the expanse of III's chest as it rises and falls with each breath.

While II feeds Elvira then heads off to the practice room, III changes out of their pajamas and brushes through the tangled mess of their hair, putting it in a bun and using little flower clips to keep his hair out of his eyes while he works. Then, III gathers up all of the stuff he and Vessel have collected since they started planning III's garden. Its all piled up in a room downstairs that's unused. III is unsettled, even with the confirmation Vessel would be back with them soon.

The sun is bright overhead when III exits the house, needing to take a couple trips back and forth to bring everything they need outside, along with their radio and phone. They had already marked where they wanted to start the garden, to the left of the house on its side where a small clearing barren of underbrush lays. III smiles a little as he walks the small stone pathway II had suggested that leads to where they wanted the garden. A short, rickety plastic fence meant to resemble wrought iron fencing lines the stone path with little solar-powered lanterns hanging off the spikes. They're barely any taller than III's shin, and thankfully very fake or the last time he came out here and tripped over it would have hurt far worse. III still thinks its cute though, and loves it even more since it was Vessel's suggestion, quiet and more of a question when he pointed them out at the store. II and III had loved the idea, so it was a no brainer to get some even when Vessel backtracked and apologized for the suggestion. III hopes to one day get real wrought iron fencing, that's higher too, to line the pathway on either side. Maybe they'll make a little planter space on either side of the porch and use those to line it.

They set their radio up beside the house out of the sun, making sure the batteries inside are in properly. Turning it on and clicking play, an album III had found at the thrift store begins to play out a tune, Latin vocals and ominous music.

Infesstisumum by Ghost starts off with its title instrumental track, then transitions cleanly into Per Aspera Ad Inferi, and III knows all the words. Idly, III wonders what happened to all of his clothes and belongings after he had died. It doesn't really matter though, not anymore.

III decides to mark out how big of a garden they want, then moves on to actually laying down the red bricks overtop the outline they dug using a spade. They take their time, humming along with the music, feeling the brick scraping their hands as he tries to carefully line them up evenly. Lets himself get lost in the work, anything to abate the worry still writhing inside him. The plot is large enough for III to have a multitude of flowers, and vegetables if they so desired. He's glad Vessel thought of that, helped him figure out the measurements so III would have the space he needed.

III works tirelessly, adding some of his own store bought soil to the dug up dirt, then digging some small holes for the multitude of seeds they intend to plant.

The first flower they intend to grow is daffodils, for rebirth, new beginnings. It is only fitting, even if III has technically been a vessel long enough for it to no longer be apt. Alongside the daffodils, III has chosen to plant bellflowers for gratitude. III thinks those would be lovely as offerings to Sleep during his Worship, or even just to keep on the altar table. He is truly so grateful to the God for picking them as a vessel, for bringing them to Vessel and II.

If these grow well, III plans on seeing if the others' favorite flowers will grow too, if they have favorites, that is. Giving the seeds some water, III sits, letting their hands hold them up as they lean back. Not much else to be done, except wait for something to grow. But that's alright, this is what III wanted. He loves his plants, loves taking care of them. A garden will be a bit different though, he admits, than taking care of already grown potted plants. A lesson in patience and perseverance.

Looking up, III still has a couple hours until the sun sets. Deciding that a walk couldn't hurt, III dusts off their hands on their jeans and heads inside to grab a journal and pencil to sketch with. Maybe a little snack, too, as his empty stomach grumbles in complaint. III contemplates disturbing II, but ultimately decides not to. His drumming reverberates through the upstairs floor faintly as the sound proof paneling on the walls does its best to keep the noise from traveling too far.

The radio is left by their bed, and III only brings his phone alongside his notebook and pencil. Heading back down stairs, III passes Elvira. He takes a moment to pick her up, turning in a circle or two as he smooshes his face to her fur and coos at the black cat like she were a baby. She stares at him in contempt the entire time but does not scratch him, so III considers it a win. She escapes upstairs with a hiss as soon as III sets her down and he laughs at the little creature.

Setting off outside again, III takes in the sounds of nature around him with a smile, easily naming off many of the plants scattering the forest floor in their head.

III pauses on his walk to pick a single flower of each little new section of flower he comes across. They gather a decent little bouquet, stems tucked carefully into the pockets of their dirty jeans so that the flowers stick out. III is glad they decided to wear a tight tank top, one that just barely exposes a sliver of midriff. The weather has quickly taken a turn for the warmer, III notices. It was still cold most days when he arrived, but spring seems to be transitioning into summer quickly.

Blue asters, blue salvias, and azaleas are all carefully sketched out, along with a couple different types of mushrooms. No matter how many times III wanders, he always comes across new things. He knows they will never know the forest quite like Vessel does. III has gotten lost numerous times, and no matter what, Vessel always seems to find them. III supposes it could be the bond, leading Vessel to them, but thinks it may be something different. Maybe it has something to do with the vines around the manor.

When the sun begins to set, the canopies above causing orange to dance along the underbrush, III decides its time to head back.

Vessel's bond is still calm, fuzzy at the edges. III hopes the calm is genuine, that Vessel is really alright. II's bond has been steadily leaking exhaustion, a tiredness that has been purposefully brought upon as the day wears on.

III frowns, deciding its time for II to take a break. III has been outside for hours, and even when he went inside a while ago, II hadn't left the practice room.

By the time III makes it back to the house, they first put all the flowers they collected in a little glass, then go to take a quick shower. Hair still dripping, III finds II exactly where he thought he would, in the practice room dripping sweat as he beats away at his drumkit. II notices them, but doesn't say anything, continuing to pound away a fast beat.

"Hey, Doll, the sun just set a minute ago. You should take a break."

"Is Vessel back yet?" II asks, stopping to wipe sweat off his brow, panting from the exertion he has undergone all day.

Shaking their head, III hates to tell II no, that Vessel hasn't turned up. "Damn it." II curses, standing up.

He shakes his legs out one at a time, wincing at the movement and the pain in his back. At III's concerned look, II says, "Overdid it."

"Go take a hot shower. See if it'll help. I'll make sandwiches." III says as II moves towards them at the door.

"Oh, thank you. I didn't realize how hungry I was." II thanks them as he walks by, taking a hand and placing an unthinking kiss on III's forearm as he passes.

A little stunned, III shakes it off quickly and turns to pull II back before he can get too far. III pulls him towards himself, not caring how sweaty II is, and places a big, loud kiss on II's damp hair.

II grumbles in mild complaint, not pulling away until III does so, soaking up the affection fondly.

"Go shower, Doll. You stink." III laughs, gently shoving II away.

"Why, thank you. You're ever so kind to me."

"Careful." III warns playfully, "You're beginning to sound like Ves."

III's smile falls almost immediately as what they said sets in, "I trust Sleep to keep their word, at least. Vessel will turn up soon, sweetheart." II tries to reassure, but it falls short in the face of his own worry.

"I know. Thanks, Doll. Go shower, I'll be in the kitchen."

III makes a few sandwiches while II is in the shower, of a couple different types. He makes one that Vessel usually favors, even if he doesn't need to eat. He always looks so happy when they make him food, or bring him his favorite drink. Or do anything kind for him at all, really. Its saddening, but so, so endearing.

III can't wait for Vessel to get back.

Vessel lays maskless in a bed of flowers, surrounded by orange and pink tulips, forget-me-not's, and alyssums. His God sits beside him, growing more flowers as time passes until the meadow is covered in them and Vessel is nearly lost in the sea of color.

As pleased as Vessel has been to spend this time with his God, to show Him what Vessel has been working on, to show how he has interpreted the lyrics or melodies Sleep has given him, Vessel longs to return to the other vessels. He hates the emotions that have been stemming from their bonds all day.

"Everything is all right, my Vessel. The others can manage a day without you near. Stay with me for a little while longer." Sleep croons, his translucent hand unable to touch Vessel as it flickers in and out of existence over Vessel's hair.

"But... They're... They're so worried. I don't like being the cause of it. I already cause enough trouble for them." Vessel says, attention being pulled back to the bonds he shares with the other vessels.

There have been hints of playfulness, minor pain from III that had almost caused Vessel to ask Sleep to return him right then, exhaustion seeping in to their bonds, and so much worry.

"They love you, my First. Any worry you may or may not have caused stems from that love."

"They do not love me." Vessel insists, turning his gazes away from his God.

"They do."

"Then I am not worthy of it." Vessel spits, moving to stand, backing away, arms held close.

His eyes are wild, distress leaking out of every pore at the turn this conversation has taken. The flowers are trampled guiltily under his feet, beauty squashed under his heel like everything else Vessel has ever touched.

"Not worthy. Will never be worthy." He mutters, raking his nails down his bicep, scratching at the skin harshly.

"They will decide themselves whether you are worthy of their love, and you are worthy of it. I would not have chosen you if you were not worthy." Sleep stands, too, their taller form towering over Vessel.

It makes him feel small.

Sleep would not have chosen them, if they were not worthy of the First.

"Maybe you made a mistake." Vessel's voice is weak, hunching over into himself to hide from the anger he knows is coming.

Who is he to question his God?

"Are you questioning my judgment, my Vessel?" Sleep's voices are stern, his presence filling the meadow and overpowering Vessel's every sense, but He is not angry.

Vessel shakes his head shyly, averting his gaze. Sleep's presence brushes against his mind so fondly, almost apologetic, featherlight touches on his cheek, his forehead. His cheeks alight with a fiery blush, and Vessel sends his love down the bond with his God, knowing at least He loves him back. There was no question in that alone.

"They love you, I swear it."

"I do not know what it feels like to be loved kindly."

"Yes, you do."

"I don't! Everyone who has ever loved me has hurt me. The other vessels do not hurt me, therefore they do not love me."

"You are wrong. The others love you dearly. They truly love you. Those fools who claimed to love you and then marred your skin and ripped your heart to smithereens did not love you."

Softer now, Sleep continues, longing to hold His first vessel but unable to truly touch him, "The second and third love you kindly. Their love is not painful. You feel their love for you everyday. It is in every kind word or thought, every gentle action. Every smile and laugh, imbued into their very souls. They worry for you now, out of love. Accept them, and they will show you if only you will open your eyes enough to see through your past and into your present."

"I do not know how to move past what has been done to me." Vessel says, choking on a silent sob that leaves his lips in a faint whimper.

Golden tears drip onto his clothes, falling onto the broken flowers beneath his feet as he keels over on a despaired moan, hands coming up to cover his face from view.

He feels too vulnerable under the eyes of his God. He wants his mask.

A weight settles over Vessel's face, a hard material pressing into his fingers.

Vessel misses Sleep's surprised expression, carefully neutralized before His vessel can see.

Sleep did not realize that His first had any control over this realm. Sleep had left that mask in the other realm, wishing to look upon his vessel properly with his own eyes. Perhaps... perhaps Sleep gave Vessel more of himself than he thought. Than he wanted to.

He has not had vessels before. Sleep wonders if he made a mistake. First, it was His Vessel being able to put other humans to sleep, then to eat nightmares. His Vessel has taken so many of Sleep's own features on...

Vessel sobs silently, grateful for the mask that had appeared over his face in a shimmery golden glow.

So long ago when Sleep first came to Vessel, Sleep wonders if he gave too much of himself to his First, eager to save him from the edge of no return.

His First's body was so damaged, Sleep could barely repair it, no matter the tight grip the God had on his vessels soul. His decision had taken too long. That indecision almost cost Sleep something dear.

"They will help you."

Vessel does not respond for a moment, wiping unending tears from under his mask. Finally, he responds, "I do not want to help myself. I... do not know how to care about my well being enough... to want help."

Sleep also takes a moment to think on what to say. The God... isn't sure how to respond to that.

How does he help someone who does not want to be helped?

"You asked to be loved, my First." Its a familiar saying, "The other vessels... they will help you learn to love yourself. They're trying, even now, to instill in you that you are not worthless."

"You are everything."

"I am ugly." Vessel responds, and Sleep does not say anything in return, only stares down at His first with such sad, adoring eyes.

"I am inadequate." Vessel spits, letting out another sob, a harsh thing that grates on his vocal chords.

"I am lost." Vessel mutters, removing his hands from his face for only a moment.

All six of his eyes meet as many of Sleep's own as he can, and Sleep sees the depths of Vessel's emotions in the crimson irises. There is such loathing in his eyes, directed inward. Sleep is lost in it, lost in the face of such human emotion. His Vessel has always been so expressive, so human. Sleep has always wanted to understand what it meant to be human. His vessel has shown him so much.

Vessel awaits the day his God casts him away. All Vessel knows is to hurt, to be left behind by those he loves. Trampled under the feet of those around him. He has been left as a broken shell, shattered fragments with no hope of being put back together. He has been this way so long he doesn't remember a time where he could look upon himself in the mirror and smile at his own reflection. Does not remember a time when he loved himself. Does he even wish to love himself? Vessel... isn't sure. Doesn't think so. No, Vessel knows so. There has never been any ounce of love towards himself, never any desire to cultivate any affection. His soul was torn asunder long ago. Vessel was used to always giving all he has to give, never receiving that same love in return. There was never any left for himself.

"I wish to return, now. Please." Vessel sobs, sniffling as he forces his next words out, "I... I will listen to your advice. I will try to let them love me, only if they want to. I will not tell them myself, and if it means I stay full of this love, waking up beneath it all for the rest of my existence, then so be it."

"As you wish, my Vessel."

Vessel returns to the Earthen realm in the same state he left, despair choking him. Blood was still splattered over his mask, still dripping down his front. His chest ached something fierce, every rib on fire and Vessel knows his heart would be racing, pounding furiously beneath those aching ribs had its home still been in his chest. A fog has settled over the ground, the moon bright above him as he sits up from where he was leant on a porch pillar, strewn over one of the steps. The vines have tangled gently in his hair, caressing his thigh as if in welcome.

Vessel moves to stand, and finds his legs do not want to carry him up the steps easily. Each leg feels as though a leaden weight is attached at the ankle, and something feels vaguely off in his mind. His throat is tight, tongue heavy in his mouth, and he feels vaguely nauseous with every step. Vessel is afraid. Always so afraid.

II and III had shared a quiet dinner and settled in on the couch under a thin blanket meant more for comfort than heat. II is the one who hears the quiet click of the front door shutting, a hand idly playing with III's hair as the TV plays some movie II was only half paying attention to. II carefully gets up from the couch after removing III's head from his thigh. As stressful as the day has been while they waited for Vessel to return, and III's time outside, they had fallen asleep only a quarter way into the movie they'd put on.

Its nearly midnight when Vessel stumbles in the door, bloody and out of it. He's already making his way up the staircase when II reaches him, vines reaching towards him, writhing in their will to be near. Vessel pauses at the top when II calls out to him quietly, a leaf brushing his ankle.

"Vessel?"

Vessel refuses to turn around, afraid of what is to come.

"I've returned. I apologize for worrying you." Vessel says simply, trying to escape to his room before II can see the blood.

II follows Vessel as he tries to escape to his room, catching Vessel by the hand long enough to get him to stop moving. Vessel freezes in place like a stone statue, moving no further, not even when II releases his hand with a soft apology. They try not to startle him with sudden touches from behind, and yet what else was II to do?

"Where did you go?" II asks, stern, but still concerned.

Vessel turns, pupils mere pinpricks in his fear. His bond is calm, but under the surface II can see a storm brewing in Vessel's eyes. II recognizes that the bond is lying to him. That Vessel is hiding.

Then II's eyes register the blood.

There was blood on his face, splattered along the cheek of his mask. A long line of red dripped down and off the jaw. It was beginning to crust on his chest, dripping down his stomach in rivulets to soak the waistband of his pants.

"This isn't mine." Vessel states, seeing the oncoming panic on II's face and down the bond.

"I killed them."

"What?" II says, struggling to hear Vessel's words, to move past the bloody mess on the taller man.

"Three's murderers. I hunted them down and slaughtered them." Vessel says, somewhat louder this time, a noose tightening around his neck with every passing moment.

"Do you hate me? Are you... Are you going to leave? Leave me?" He asks, finally moving his six eyed gaze up to meet II's, shadows from his mask casting them into a darkness that amplifies the hue of his glowing crimson irises.

There is resignation in his eyes, in the bond he finally lets reveal his true emotions. There is no regret. Just fear, and expectation. His tongue feels heavy in his mouth, throat tightening further, and Vessel wants nothing more than to lock himself away in his room and pretend that the other vessels still cared for him.

For a time, II cannot speak. He isn't sure what to say. Vessel has just killed people. That isn't to say II hadn't wanted to do the same, after III had been so terrified. Especially when III woke up from a nightmare yesterday, in tears and unable to breathe through the immediate panic attack they were sent in to.

The bruise on III's face has darkened into a deep purple, swelling up. The man's fist was large, and it damaged a good portion of III's face, and every time II has seen it, it has filled him with unadulterated rage. If Vessel had killed the man when III had initially been assaulted, II would not have stopped him.

"No, of course I don't hate you, Vessel. I'm upset you didn't let me get a punch in. For what they did to Three."

Surprise flits down the bond, the expectation ebbing away to be replaced by confusion.

"You... never respond the way I think you will." Vessel admits hoarsely, nails digging into his arms, shining, golden tears dripping off his jaw.

II gently asks him not to do that, and Vessel listens, slowly lowering his arms, fingers twitching to dig back in. Vessel desperately needs to punish himself somehow, but he has to wait. He has to. He never wants to see that expression on III's face ever again, that haunted look when Vessel took a knife to his arm that was somehow worse than when he was confronted with one of their murderers.

"They killed our Three. I wonder, sometimes, if we could have prevented it. Yet, that thought leads me to wonder if Three would have come to us at all. I'm glad you avenged them." II reaches forward, hands hovering over the sides of Vessel's mask.

A silent question in the bond, in his eyes, and Vessel nods, a small thing but II noticed easily due to their closeness.

There is a shuddering breath in Vessel's ears, harsh wheezing that seems to fade with every second Vessel hears it. His hands tingle, nails digging into his sides hard enough to draw blood as he holds them to himself in a mockery of a hug.

He can see III dying before him, unable to stop those bastards from beating them to death. Unable to hold them as they took their last breath. Vessel will never be able to forget it. The memory will be imprinted into his soul for the rest of eternity unless his God grants him the mercy of destroying his everything its entirety. He will never escape the agony of the experience. The agony of watching one of the most beloved people in his entire life fade away before him, unable to touch, to comfort, to save.

"Sweetheart?" Vessel glances up from where his gaze has fallen to the floor, at III lying there beaten and bloody, chest slowly rising and falling, finding his view of II's concern is no longer obscured by his mask.

Vessel's six eyes are all glowing faintly, the symbol in the hollow of his throat too. His skin, black as night, has not faded back into only his arms and legs, shadows lingering around his edges in wisps. Sleep's presence is still prominent, satisfied and satiated and eager for him to return to the God's realm even though Vessel had just left. Gentle whispers tickle the shell of his ear, murmurs of sweet nothings that Vessel can't quite make out. Vessel wishes he could take comfort from them.

Swallowing harshly, Vessel forces out, "'m okay. Had to watch."

"Watch what sweetheart?" II is careful not to touch Vessel in case the other reacts badly to it, hands hovering awkwardly in front of him, longing to reach forward.

"Three die. Had to know who did it. Their names. Faces. Had to watch. Couldn't-" Vessel chokes out a gasp when the shuddering breaths in his ears cease suddenly.

He scrunches his eyes closed, trying to will away the frightening noise, the gruesome apparition. He knows it is not real. He knows it is only his mind playing tricks on him.

"Oh, Vessel, honey, I'm sorry." II bites his lip with furrowed brows, "I... I hate that you had to do that. Three has said their death wasn't... That it wasn't kind."

"It was awful. Sleep showed me with a dream." Vessel admits as he reopens his eyes, voice going softer, more hoarse, as he struggles to keep from sobbing again.

"He... I couldn't touch him. Couldn't help. Couldn't... I couldn't do anything. I could only watch." Tears leaking down his cheeks, Vessel drags his claws over his sides, hugging himself tightly.

The self-comfort action has never worked like Vessel wanted it to, but who else did he have to hug him Before, if not himself?

Vessel's throat finally closes on him, thorns wrapping tightly around his voice-box and ceasing use of his voice. No, no, he still has to talk to III. Vessel has to know if he's lost one of his beloveds, he has to know if III will hate him for what he has done. He can't- Not his voice, not right now. Please.

His breaths come out in shorter and shorter pants, a faint tremble setting into his limbs. Scratching at his sides, his claws leave angry little lines and welts. "Hey, hey, Vessel, sweetheart don't do that."

Foregoing the no touching rule II had enforced upon himself, he reaches out and forcefully takes Vessel's hands in his own. They're ice cold to the touch, one crusted with blood, as II slowly leads them over to the same little couch he and III had sat on earlier that day. Sitting them both down, II places Vessel's mask to the side, taking one of his hands and putting it on II's own chest.

Deliberate, deep breaths start out slow enough for Vessel to follow. It takes time for Vessel to try, and so II starts humming one of their songs off-key. Vessel doesn't cease trembling, but the hand against II's chest curls its fingers to hold it. Slowly, Vessel's breathing gets deep enough to match II's. His face is riddled with guilt and stress, and II doesn't know how to help him.

The med-kit II had used on III earlier still sits nearby, and II grabs it to use on Vessel's scratches. Its a familiar routine, to clean and bandage the scratches and cuts. II hates the familiarity, hates the lingering, slimy feeling of guilt that settles over Vessel's bond like a stubborn oil that won't go away.

"Mind if I clean those, sweetheart?" II keeps his voice gentle, taking in the scratches on Vessel's sides.

Vessel places a hand to his throat, shaking his head frantically to show II he can't use his voice. Vessel is worried II will be mad at him for not being able to speak during such a serious conversation.

"That's alright, sweetheart. No need to panic, I'm not upset."

II gestures at Vessel's injuries again and Vessel nods his head in reluctant acceptance. A small smile slips onto II's face, his eyes scrunching at the corners. "Thank you." He murmurs, taking out antiseptic and bandages to place over the wounds.

II continues humming while he works, and Vessel watches II's face intently, only glancing away shyly when II looks up at him.

When he's done, having cleaned some of the blood that wasn't Vessel's off, II takes Vessel's phone out of his back pocket. "Here, was holding onto this for when you came back."

Nodding in thanks, Vessel takes it. When he turns the phone screen on, the lock screen is of III, spinning Elvira around with a happy little grin as the cat looks on at them, disgruntled. Its a bit blurry, but it makes Vessel smile. Vessel adores III, and Elvira.

"He didn't see me get that." II smiles mischievously.

'It's cute. Thank you :::D' Vessel types, showing II, even as his mind wanders briefly to the sliver of III's midriff exposed in the photo.

"You're welcome, Ves. I'm glad you like it."

'Do you want me to kill yours? For killing you, too?' Vessel types out, tilting his head to the side, taking in a careful, measured breath as he turns the phone around for II to see.

Vessel watches as II clearly thinks it over. Its cute, the expression II gets when he concentrates. A furrow between his brow that almost makes him look angry. Vessel sees it most when II drums.

"No. It was a robbery. They probably were desperate for money, for whatever reason. I... I do not want them dead." II decides, finally, brushing a strand of hair from Vessel's face.

His hand remains on Vessel's cheek, the other leaning in to the touch, eyes fluttering closed. II wants to kiss him. Wants to feel the chapped, bitten skin of Vessel's lips against his own. Wants to know what Vessel tastes like. Will it be the mint of his toothpaste, iron from where he has bitten his lips and inner cheeks so hard that blood spills into his mouth? Will it be something II can't name, but screams of Vessel no matter what it is?

II looks away from Vessel's lips, finding Vessel watching him in open curiosity, perhaps some form of invitation if II were to look into it further.

"I'm going to go wake III, get him in bed. They worked on their garden while you were gone, were outside all day. He came back inside exhausted." II says, moving to stand as his hands slip from Vessel's skin.

His gaze slips back to Vessel's lips, raising to one pair of his six eyes. They're still watching II intently and II feels as though he is going to be burnt right through with the intensity of Vessel's searing gaze. He barely notices when Vessel has turned the phone around for II to read what he wrote, easily typing with one pair of eyes on the keyboard.

'Are you going to bed?'

"Yeah, Three woke up early... then they realized you weren't in the house and woke me up too. I've been in the practice room all day."

Guilt overcomes Vessel's pretty features, flooding the bond.

'I apologize. I left a note.'

"Yes, we found it, honey, but it didn't abate our worry. We could barely feel you in the bond. We didn't know where you went. You're allowed to go anywhere you please... its just, you left the car, your phone... And you've never been inclined to leave the realm by yourself before. We were worried." II tells Vessel softly, trying to convey that they're not upset, they were only concerned. "Especially after what has just recently happened with Three."

'I apologize. It was a necessary endeavor though.'

"I realize that now, it was just concerning at the time, Ves."

Vessel doesn't type anything else out for a moment, seeming to just process what II has said. Slowly, he nods, contemplating something.

II watches Vessel bite his lower lip with a fang, his angel bites glinting in the low light of the lamp nearby. Watches Vessel's split tongue peeking out to lave the bitten skin with saliva.

II really wants to kiss him.

'Can I join you in bed?' As Vessel turns the phone around for II to see, his face goes up in flames as he realizes just what he typed and how it could be taken.

II laughs lightly, catching himself before he leans too far forward with the intention of actually kissing Vessel at the intense wave of affection that washes over him.

"Anytime, sweetheart. Three will probably join us later, if he wakes and realizes I put them in their own room. They stole one of my tater tots over dinner." II jokes, and Vessel cracks a smile, a lopsided little thing that sends II's heart pounding erratically in his chest.

"Go ahead and take a shower... Ah, damnit, I forgot I just did your bandages." II groans, "Take the shower anyway. I'll just redo them. And I can try to braid your hair. Three has been letting me practice small ones on theirs."

Vessel laughs, a faint little chuckle that II barely heard, but it causes a wide grin to split his cheeks. Vessel's surprised look at the sound simultaneously shatters II's heart and causes pride to swell in his chest.

II shoos Vessel on with a benign smile, dimple on full show, and Vessel wanders off to his room to grab a change of clothes. On his nightstand is a small vase, filled with all sorts of little flowers. Vessel finds he can name a couple of them, balloon flowers and beautiful alyssums and one he thinks may be called salvia's. Balloon flowers can mean the desire for a friend to return, or everlasting love. Vessel wonders which meaning III meant, or if they picked them just for their beauty. Vessel doesn't remember what the alyssums stand for, but recognizes them from Sleep's realm. The sight fills Vessel with happiness. He knows exactly who left him these flowers.

A gentle finger traces down the length of one of the alyssums, and the flower's petals seem to glow a little at the touch, a white to match the color of the petals. Where they had been damaged on one of the petals, the flower seems to rejuvenate, leaning into Vessel's fingers.

Vessel tilts his head, curious, as he touches another of the damaged flowers, this one missing a petal entirely. A new petal unfurls under Vessel's finger, the purple-blue of the balloon flower glowing gently in Vessel's dark room. A grin splits Vessel's face, a wide thing that bares fangs and hurts his cheeks. With this gift, which Vessel thinks may be connected to his heart, he can keep the flowers III has gifted him alive far longer. He wonders if he can use it on other plants, since it clearly does not apply only to the vines around the house.

III doesn't stir when II hefts him up with ease, their head lolling onto II's shoulder. Getting them up the staircase surely must have looked comical from an outsiders point of view, with III being considerably taller than II. II leaves III in their clothes; dirt covered jeans, sweaty tank top and all then heads off to his room to change into his own pajamas.

Vessel joins II in his room around ten minutes later, with hair still dripping water droplets. A hoodie and sweatshirt hangs over his arm, and a pair of navy blue pajama pants covered in yellow stars drag the floor. In his arms is his plague doctor plushie, held close to his bare chest with a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. It leaves his Sleep given tattoos on display, and II adores the sight. II holds one arm out, a hand splayed open in invitation. Vessel shuffles forward, taking II's hand and letting the other pull him gently onto the bed. He sits at the edge of it while II brushes his hair, braiding it down between his shoulder blades.

His hair has grown longer since he first became a vessel, a bit past his shoulders now. It's a short braid, but Vessel is happy II has done it for him anyway. Vessel types out his gratitude as he remains seated in front of II.

Redoing Vessel's bandages is a quick, easy affair. When II is done and slides under the covers to get comfy, Vessel puts his mask on II's nightstand and changes into his shirt and hoodie, slipping under the covers. II yelps when Vessel's cold toes touch his calf, curling up at Vessel's side with a lighthearted joke about Vessel having frostbite. Vessel huffs a laugh, II's tone making it clear he is only joking.

They sit in silence while II settles down to sleep, tired eyes already fighting to stay closed as he blinks. One hand glides up Vessel's arm as the two face each other, Vessel's phone laid face down between them.

"I'm glad you weren't hurt." II whispers, fingers trailing back and forth over Vessel's bicep.

Goosebumps arise at the reverent touch, 'They had no chance to hurt me.' Vessel assures as he shows II his phone screen, and even now he doesn't understand why they do not want to seem him hurt.

Vessel is used to pain, he welcomes it. Pain is a constant companion, one he has always had by his side. Vessel can handle pain. He frowns, but doesn't say anything more. II slowly nods off after that, not quite reassured, hand slipping off of Vessel's bicep, settling into a peaceful sleep.

When Vessel is sure II is asleep, he lifts himself onto an elbow, taking his phone and snapping a quick picture of II sleeping beside him. His hair is splayed over the pillows, a calm expression on his visage, with one hand still holding Vessel's between them.

The camera button makes the phone let out a shuttering sound, and Vessel panics, clicking the screen off and laying back down quickly. II doesn't stir, only let's out a small snore that sends affection whizzing through Vessel's nervous system. When Vessel is sure II will not wake, he opens his screen again, six eyes squinting at the brightness and tries to figure out how to change his phone's lock screen. After he figures out how to dim the screen to save his eyesight.

III wakes up groggy a few hours later, seeing the empty bed and frowning in displeasure.

Vessels bond is open, shining with a silvery luminous beauty. Its peaceful, just being able to feel it. To know Vessel is alive. All the stress III had been feeling throughout the day seems to wash away under that gentle light. III practically hops out of bed, immediately noticing they're still in their dirty jeans and shirt from earlier. They're quick to change into a loose t-shirt that hangs off one shoulder and a pair of pajama pants, making their way out of their room.

They see II heading downstairs for the restroom, dressed in a loose tank top and low riding shorts, hair mussed up on one side from sleeping.

"Is Vessel back?" III asks, rubbing one eye with a fist.

"Yes, he's in my room. Do you want to join us?" II responds, eyes soft as they look at III and their messy hair pulled back into a bun.

III nods eagerly, "Yeah, why didn't you just take me to your room anyway?"

III frowns, but II only smirks playfully, "You stole one of my tater tots. It was only fair."

"You little shit." III curses fondly, "Just for that I'm taking one every time we eat tater tots."

II gasps in mock offense, "You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I absolutely will."

III smile is infectious, one easily slipping onto II's face to mirror it, but it falls quickly as he turns around to continue to the restroom.

He pauses before he goes downstairs, one foot on a step, turning his head to look at III once more. III is about to turn around to go get their stuff when II whispers their name.

III turns back around, a little confused at II's tone.

There's a contemplative expression upon his visage before he comes to a decision.

"We'll tell him in the morning, after breakfast."

III's face lights up in excitement, but II continues. "Don't get your hopes up, sweetheart. Not like I did... And he wants to speak with you when you wake up. He has something to tell you. About where he went today."

"Okay, and I know..." III says, a little confused.

They already knew not to get their hopes up too high, after what II had said happened last time, when II confessed to Vessel. How Vessel had freaked out, ran away and hid. It was one of the only times Vessel had ever snapped at II, he had said. But... what does any of this have to do with what Vessel did while he was away?

"Get your pillow, Three, and head on to my room." II says softly, closing the conversation.

III stares after him for a moment, before going to do what II said. Vessel is on his side facing the door, his thick blanket laid over him and his stuffy held close under his chin. All six eyes move from his phone to III as they enter, clutching their pillow. Vessel smiles, a small, hesitant thing that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Vessel, I'm so glad you're back! I missed you, and we were worried!" III lights up much like he did earlier, bounding over to Vessel.

Vessel sets his phone on II's nightstand, and III does the same when he's close enough. "Scoot over, I wanna cuddle."

Vessel huffs a laugh, doing as III asks and moving to the middle of the bed. He does not speak, but a hand comes to glance over his throat as he shakes his head, all six eyes apologetic, and III understands. II comes back soon, finding III already cuddled up to Vessel on one side, showing him a video they'd found of cats getting startled at mundane things. There's a smile on Vessel and III's faces, III laughing loudly and shaking the whole bed with it.

Vessel flinches back from the noise slightly, smile falling into thin lips. There is determination in the bond, a firm resolve, and Vessel leans his shoulder onto III's, who places their own head on Vessel's in return. III sends down his feelings of pride in Vessel, and Vessel gently sends back hesitant acceptance. II climbs over both of them, and Vessel picks up his plushie from where it laid at his side, pulling it close to his chest instead.

II, desperate to give Vessel any affection he can before he inevitably pulls away from them come morning, leans forward to place a kiss on Vessel's shoulder, wrapping a hand around Vessel's and scooting impossibly closer to rest his head over the lingering tingle of the kiss he left. III, seeing the action, makes one of his own, leaning over and placing a kiss to Vessel's temple, and then getting up on an elbow to lean over and kiss II on the forehead.

Vessel is warm inside, and can feel his body growing warmer from II and III laying on either side of him, both cuddled as close as they know Vessel will allow. No hands stray close to his neck or chest, no ear too close to hear his lack of heartbeat through his many layers.

When morning comes, Vessel will keep a modicum of distance from III. He knows it's necessary for when III no longer wants him near, but for now Vessel will soak up any affection they'll give him. For now, they will giggle and laugh at the continuous videos III shows II and Vessel. He will let himself have this, even as he fears it will be torn from his fingers come morning.

#vessel sleep token #ii sleep token #polyvessels #sleep token fic #sleep token iii #poly sleep token #fanfic #sleep token #am i tagging this right #poly!vessels #sleep token fanfiction

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cashmere-caveman · 2 months ago

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Get to know you better game!

tagged by ham my friend ham @fuhosh-i <3

Last song: no idea what the title is but that song by bruno mars and lady gaga i think? i wasnt the one connected to the speaker tho so i might be wrong

favourite colour(s): yellow forever and ever and ever 💛🌻

watching: after taking a break due to both of us Being Busy and Away my sister & me are continuing our black sails rewatch and i am having so very many thoughts about everything! other than that im still making my way through spy x family, letterkenny, shoresy and if i could find the rest of the episodes somewhere i would finish the faceoff nhl doc but eh it is not looking v likely rn. as im writing this i also realised i still havent watched hotd's s2 finale bc for some reason i did not feel like continuing after the penultimate episode and then i just. forgot. oops!

last movie: genuinely no idea. it might happen that it was the fourth of the new planet of the apes movies like a month or two ago when i marathoned them w my brother which feels wrong i swear i watch movies more often than this but i genuinely cannot remember anything since then

sweet/savoury/spicy: savoury my beloved. deftiges essen >>>>>> alles andere

relationship status: single but i have too much shit going on to even think about a relationship rn so thank god

last thing i googled: maybe ive looked up sth since then but today at breakfast i looked up the etymology of the german words devise (motto) to see if it has a latin or a french root (both, which tbh i shouldve seen coming). shoutout to duden.de meinem freund und helfer

last video game: i am v much not of the gamers temperament so idk its name but i tried one of those games that come free w ur netflix subscription, immediately failed hard at like the 2nd challenge and have not touched any game since 👍 this was 2 months ago

tagging @liquoricelesbian @fuzzyhologramdetective @woncheolist (ik ham already tagged u but shhh) @ericbogosbian @gear65 @zaegreus

#thank u ham for giving me an opportunity to fulfil my lifes destiny: be a yapper #im getting such a good grade in being a mutual today bc im finally doing all the tag games #about me

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thekaijudude · 2 years ago

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Ultraman Anime Season 3 Review

This was absolutely the best season by far, theres much less inconsistency and plotholes this time around. And with 12 episodes, it definitely felt more comprehensive and less rushed.

Tho there were still some sticking points which Ive made a list of while binge-watching the season such as:

1. I felt that the portrayal of the scene where Hayata supposedly “dies” couldve had a much greater impact if it was shown that Shinjiro was able to identify Hayata on the rooftop prior. It was really weird to see Shinjiro act out when the blast imploded when previously it was shown that he couldnt even make out what was happening on the rooftop.

2. The whole idea of “Bemular being Ultraman” point has been put off so far by this point that seeing him working behind the scenes felt so painful and contrived to watch cause no one from the main cast really “acknowledges” him even tho they should since hes literally Ultraman. And with all the events tied to his existence, aka Shinjiro’s 2nd awakening and the Space Contraction event from Season 2, has no one bothered to consult him on the validity of the Universal Alliance Council?

3. Daisuke later pointed out that Bemular was Ultraman, but previously no one seemingly make the link so to have this reveal being taken so nonchalantly at that point feels like a total waste of dramatic reveal (but then again, its a reveal thats been late for 3 seasons alr so..). But in fact, they didnt even outright reveal that, they just simply pointed out that Bemular somehow has access to Specium, as a manga-reader im like bruh wtf is this, its like the anime writers are trying their absolute best NOT to establish this connection like wtf

4. I found it really weird that Adad didnt really bother to give more info about Mephisto to Dan, sounds like prolonging the plot for no reason and being mysterious for the sake of being mysterious, because there was really no reason why shouldnt, especially since at that point in time, the SSSP were dealing with the Univeral Alliance Council as a whole, which threatens bascially everyone

5. Anyone else had the feeling that Taro was nerfed for the first half? Dude was just reduced to shooting fireballs and not literally sprout actual flamethrowers and pulses of pure fire like in Season 2

6. So Rena just stupidly decided to trust Seiji even tho his suit was spotted killing her dad? Plus Seiji’s filmsy explanation was really weird considering he was framed. This is some Asahi-leveling of illogical behavior coming from both sides since this new piece of revelation shouldve stunned and alarmed both parties in question

7. There was a pretty convenient plothole here, that Taro told Ide that he was gonna go to the hospital that Endo is at but Shinjiro went to the hospital that Ultraman and Zetton fought in, and only later it was revealed that apparently its the same hospital wut? Alot of conveniences here this season

8. Another convenient point to hasten plot progression was Bruh Jack and Rena showing up at the SAME town that Shinjiro and Taro are in even tho they came from vastly different locations? Jack had just arrived from the US and Rena literally came from the Alien city

9. Another convenient point was why didnt Zarab just killed off Endo instead of leaving him alive in the first place tho? In fact, why was he hurt in the first place? It was obvious that Mephisto already knew about the “Calamity” plan, and Jack even detailed it out to the rest later on. In fact, why didnt Bemular just pop up to the SSSP and explained wtf was happening to Shinjiro and how to manage it, it was apparent that he knew what was going on from the get-go but seemingly as an act to artificially prolong the plot, he refused to talk directly to the SSSP and this bascially setup the redundant chain of events that lead to Endo’s assassination attempt

10. Valky pointed she had different goals from Mephisto, but we have no idea what it was even till the end? Was it a planned subplot that got abandoned again?

11. While Taro did came to the conclusion that the there was indeed the existence of Fake Ultraman, this was truly only valid to explain the cases of Shinjiro going berserk in the 1st and 3rd instance. We saw that Shinijiro truly went berserk during the 2nd instance when he envisioned Zetton for the 2nd time but he didnt really point that out either during Taro’s monologue.

12. Bemular died too quickly and we still don't have an in-anime explanation why he became like this

13. So it was never really explained why did Shinjiro not evolve into a Giant of Light again? And why is evolving into a Giant of Light a bad thing either? Would he lose himself after evolving or...? Cause it wouldve helped if we had more exposition on this, this whole line of logic of Shinjiro becoming a Calamity was very obviously rushed and botched considering its aided by the fact that Bemular for some reason, refuses to actually provide his expertise on wtf is going on with Shinjiro throughout the season

14. The various “visions” Shinjiro had throughout the season was so random, literally the exact same situation as Orb in UFO having visions about ES of all things, except in this case, this was purely done for convenient plot progression like bru

Overall, it was kind of rushed near the end because the fact that Shinjiro still went out of control seemingly on purpose in the public eye made it still hard to believe he didnt had his power under control

Plus from the standpoint of the public which was deluded so deeply by Mephisto prior and had their reservations, truly it wouldve been less convinced. Esepically at the end of the day, Mephisto and Edo’s of logic makes complete sense and the anime totally sidestepped addressing the crux of the conflict between the 2 ideologies with no reconcilation, it ended up being reduced to Shinjiro’s personal character development instead. Especially so since Edo and Mephisto were sort of lumping their attitude towards the New Ultras with the impact of the original Ultraman itself

But this season gets BIG bonus points as imagine my surprise when Maya was still alive lmao (since yall know from my s2 review that I really didn't like how they handled Maya's character then) for the post-credits scene, but it still dosent explain the plotholes of the other Warudan aliens in the previous season

Again, this was definitely the best season by far and with EVEN MORE exciting action.

Although this is the final season, I doubt TsuPro is actually done with this venture since Season 2 was Netlflix Japan’s Number 1 anime last year and I have no doubt Season 3 would be the same this year. And tbh, this is literally the final season purely because the Manga just simply doesnt have enough content at this point to warrant a 4th Anime Season. So I suspect that this sub-franchise most likely continue with as said, the Tiga/Zero route and either theyre gonna be following the Novel concept of also including the previous Ultra suits from the first 3 seasons, or itll be a totally brand new, fresh slate with totally new suits and characters involved only.

Personally Im hoping itll be a mixture of the 2, but for this to work, they would most likely have to nerf Shinjiro and have him being able to only use the Type B suit. And I really hope we get to see the suits of other ultras like the ones we saw some years back like Gaia, Max, Hikari etc

In fact, I believe I read somewhere that theres gonna be some news about this on the 21st of this month, so stay tuned

#ultraman #ultraman manga #ultraman anime

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cheesytrishy · 1 year ago

Note

Maybe I’m alone, maybe I’m not, but this is something I’ve come to accept for myself: With TGAMM’s future looking bleak, I count myself lucky for not getting too attached to it despite loving it dearly. It’s just happened to me too much more than I can count with shows that I’ve loved yet got sadly canned. Wander Over Yonder, Milo Murphy’s Law, Rise of the TMNT, Inside Job, Harvey Beaks, Welcome to the Wayne, Final Space, and so on. It’s a lesson I’ve decided to learn: Unless a show has an iron clad, written in stone good future, I won’t develop a 100% emotional attachment to it. It makes it a lot easier to accept the loss of said show if its future isn’t good. I know this might sound sad, but I personally can’t handle the sadness of something I love get the ax anymore. It’s happened too much for me already. I hope all of this is understandable.

oh no i completely get ya

im so confused about tgamm rn i dunno if its ending in January or not, im secretly hoping it'll get green lit for a season 3 but feels like we're gonna get another wander over yonder or gravity falls incident. I usually dun get attached to tv shows i usually go into games but i cant help it with ghosts in tgamm HAHA.

you mentioned Rise of TMNT and i think thats just on hold atm, so we might be getting a season 3 but i dunno now but i heard it never got cancelled and it maybe getting a season 3.

But yeah i get ya, i remember teaching myself to never get excited for new seasons, i got so excited for season two of the owl house and i got let down and was hella disappointed with it. So when tgamm season 2 premiered i just wasn't excited, and i shouldve been cause its a great season. But i said this to friends and my brothers. Once tgamm ends im pretty much finished with Disney

but honestly i dunno anymore shows rn im really interested in cause these studios just do the freaking opposite

but i completely understand and agree with ya

#ask #its a sad part of the animation industry

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kevinwastaken · 3 years ago

Text

sonic movie 2 spoilers under the cut i have A LOT to say holy shit

HOLY SHIT THIS MOVIE IS BETTER THAN THE FIRST I LOVED IT

theres so much i want to say but i have NO IDEA how to start or how to end

first and foremost they did knuckles SO MUCH JUSTICE sega wishes they could write as well as whoever the hell made this script. hes no longer the comic relief dumbass, hes a warrior!! like he used to be!! and he has dignity and honour!! and hes a little gullible but its okay, thats how he originally was anyway x

AND TAILS!! his camaraderie with sonic was so great. i loved how he came all the way to help him from whatever planet hes from and how they just bonded so well immediately and theyre already like brothers I LOVE IT

particularly i liked the scene on the beach where sonic and knuckles stopped and breathed for a sec after having lost the master emerald to robotnik and bonded over what happened to them both the day longclaw died. i liked how they related it back as knuckles’s family was fighting against her and UGH it was so sad but it was so great

AND THE REFS! they never cease to amaze me. i counted a dr robotniks mean bean machine ref (which is funny because ive been thinking about booting up my ps2 again to play it, i want to get good at puyo puyo), a sonic adventure reference during the dance off in siberia, AND ALL THE SONIC 3 AND KNUCKLES REFS!! jesus christ. theres probably more, but theyre slipping my mind

post sleep edit, remembered the manuel in the death egg looking like a manuel for a sega genesis game, that got a chuckle out of me iirc LOL

also kinda feel bad for rachel and what happened in her wedding. poor girl got set up and for what😭 a sting operation? its positively TRAGIC

ALSO THE WAY THEY ALL CAME TOGETHER AT THE END LIKE IT WAS SONIC HEROES I LOVED THAT!!!! I CAN TELL THEYRE GOING TO BE BESTIES JUST BY THE END SCENE WHERE THEYRE PLAYING BASEBALL I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

AND HOLY SHIT MY JAW DROPPED THE MOMENT I KNEW SUPER SONIC WAS GONNA SHOW UP OH MY GOD i shouldve seen it coming with the inclusion of the master emerald and the chaos emeralds and everything BUT OH MY GOD???? HE WAS SO STUNNING!!!! HE LOOKED ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS IN THE MOVIE I WAS IN AWE

AND THE ENDDDD OH MY GOD THE POST CREDITS SCENE WITH SHADOW!!!! I HAD A FEELING HE WAS GOING TO SHOW UP BUT I SCREAMED WHEN THEY SHOWED HIM I CANT WAIT FOR THE THIRD MOVIE!!!!! I BET THERES GONNA BE THIS WHOLE THING WITH GERALD ROBOTNIK, MARIA, THE INCIDENT WITH GUN STORMING THE SPACE COLONY ARK, I CANT WAIT!!!!!!

i did have a few gripes though. theyre a bit miniscule though

first of all, fuck whoever decided robotnik should floss. fuck you for that

second, did not enjoy how small the emeralds were. i know its probably so they can make sense in a human filled world but the emeralds were literally the size of my finger. and the master emerald was the size of ONE in game chaos emerald

also was a bit weirded out by agent stone drawing robotnik in his lattes but ummm hes gay so its fine idk the fujoshis will have a field day with that

alsooo kind of sad there wasnt anything with crazy carl drawing tails gets trolled or uganda knuckles. that wouldve been funny i think

ANYWAY GO WATCH THE MOVIE GO WATCH IT NOW IM GONNA PISS MYSELF I LOVED IT

ps whoever runs this show please bring in crush 40 to write the ending song of the next movie im tired of this kid cudi guy

#GOD THE MOVIE WAS SO GOOD #FUCKING LOVED IT #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic movie #sonic movie 2 #sonic movie 2 spoilers

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alazyparallelworld · 2 years ago

Note

13, 30, 31?

13. what’s your opinion on the dr 3 anime?

30. which character would've deserved to survive?

31. is there a character you think who shouldn’t have survived, but did?

spoilers, obviously

13 - as mentioned in the tags, i, don't particularly care for SDR2... despite my appearances, and fixation on sai/ou, i lean towards GL and HL, and the most of SDR2 gives me for those is kuzu/peko, and... well, chapter 2...

and the anime, kind of obliterates the - themes, arc, intent behind chiaki. kodaka has hisssss waifu biases (this happens with haru, too) - and the cast's induction to the remnants is, weak, and i am a MASSIVE sucker for brainwashing, so me going 'meh' at it, says, a lot.

altogether it soured my... already soured feelings on SDR2. there is a lot of interesting concepts here, but, the only character i feel was executed well in the SDR2 portion of the anime is ryota. who is a new character. i love him and his relationship w twogami is amazing, etc. so, uh, despair arc. is bad and boring and was painful to sit thru.

future arc! i like it, honestly, even if it's another 'mrhghg this is cool in theory but done really poorly,' and honestly i really think. a lot of things introduced in dr 3 come to fruition in v3. i joke that, 'kodaka just wanted to work on v3, but they made him make an anime,' and i'm PARTIALLY kidding. and the best episode of dr 3 happens during this - altho it's not on the cast, either, it's the udg episode, and it blows the rest of the anime out of the water.

tl;dr Haha This Sucks, Man. this is an anime you can only watch w/ someone else, i feel, otherwise you'll go crazy. i like ryota and miaya a lot, i genuinely enjoy ruruka... in HPA aus, i make a point to, include ryota. my special hikikomori boy.

30 - mmmm not sure. i think, tojo - she shouldn't have survived into endgame, no, but one of the reasons i am so aggressively MEH abt her is that, she doesn't have time to develop or shine. she is, nothing, and the translation treats her motivation as a cheap joke. politicizes it. fun fact, the guy who handled the monokubz, and by extension gonta n angie, is the same guy. yeah, that guy. =_= responsible for a lot of the very shitty decisions in the localization. if SC thinks it's ok to make her primary motivation as a joke, why should i take her seriously?

i think she should've survived until ch3, to have some time to flesh things out. she shouldve been a bit undecided abt, you know, betraying her classmates. she should've become a temp antagonist, especially since she tries to set ouma up as untrustworthy and thus unreliable for his testimony in the trial - and she is very, very angry at sai, and gaslights him to hell and back. and it's EFFECTIVE. w/o momo, sai would've crumbled. give me, more of that, dammit!!! GOD!!! but no, so i am just.. ugh... tojo, right. i always forget abt her while doing cast stuff.

hoshi, i think, is another obvious 'I WANT HIM TO LIVEEEEEEEEEEE' but i don't know how well that would've worked with the ult. ending and intent of v3.

uh... mmm... thh, i don't really know... haha. i actually quite like, hifumi, but he was nevverrr everrr gonna survive. too bad...? some of the joke characters im like. Wait, I enjoy them, give me more, and at least hagakure survives!!! i'm happy abt that!!!

31 - unpopular opinion incoming, but i don't think any of the survivors were 'undeserved' - while i quite... dislike SDR2's cast... they made the right choice of who got out of the game alive. i wouldn't change any of them there.

for THH, i, mmm... i never quite 'clicked' with togami. he's fine... i suppose... but i don't find him and his attitude quite as compelling as ouma. nor komaeda's, who i am so, 'I AM SO OVER THIS GUY, EVERYONE STOP FUCKING TALKING ABT KOM!!!' about, lol. maybe he's more basic bc thh is, at its core, a very basic story... it was the first, and in a game series that afaik was not Planned to have sequels etc.

v3 literally all of them deserved to survive. i like each and every one of them. i am glad that yumeno didn't have, the pitfall of, 'suffers massively but grows bc of x's characters death, only to die later,' like ishi and hiyoko did. she's lovely, i really do think she is.

haru... haha, i... do like her... totally not in the way kodaka intended, but i was like. OHHH OK HARU IS WAY MORE COMPELLING when i realized that she and angie are narrative foils. that opened my eyes to her character - i appreciate her a lot more now, and the line abt saihara realizing 'do you want to die' always being a joke made me smile. i also think fandom shows her a LOT more aggro than she is - her first, chokehold, was instinctual fear. "everyone is scared of her," once they know her talent, as she says. and in a death game... ofc her first reaction would be of panic... and the second - ffs, ouma just threatened them with a bomb! this girl does not hate ouma. she is the second to last, second to kiibo (WHO, IS A STANDIN FOR THE AUDIENCE, SO LIKE-) to finally be Done with ouma's bullshit. she loses her cool when ouma injures momota for the 2nd time. ETC ETC. and, she has to be deliberately manipulated, by shirogane to actually kill ouma. she does not for real hate this guy, she would not bully him in school, or try and get saihara to break up w/ him. lol

while kodaka's waifuism really shines thru her (he got angry that she wasnt ranked high in popularity, if you didnt know...) i think there's a lot to love abt her, even if it takes a bit to think abt. the things i appreciate abt her probably don't appeal to others. so, yeah!!! i like that she survived!!! i'm glad that she got to - live, and not as the ult survivor for 54... that she steps into the world with sai and yumeno. she is friends with saihara on her own, i'm glad that they have e/o, after everyone else... and that yumeno isn't alone, herself.

saihara deserved to survive end of story like beyond '(real) protag plot armor' - which ALSO isn't true, kiibo is the FOR REAL protag in the eyes of the meta audience - his arc is very grueling and long. it may not be.... that super in depth, but he is not this emo depressed boy who listens to MCR, either. he has a lot of trauma prior to the game - ppl don't talk abt his scopophobia often enough, and the 'eyes on him,' and the - the perjury, effect, has a bunch of eyes, investigating, judging you... while it is the same for aka - come on. it is very clearly intended to show sai's fear of the truth and of lies. he goes thru a lot of twists n turns, and it would've, killed me if he died... or, at least, if he died and the others had survived. either all of them die, or he has friends... which he does...!! altho the epilogue was SUPER CONTROVERSIAL in house, lol.

#i ramble ★

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heyitsyn · 4 years ago

Text

Manager!Seijoh Part 3

a/n: yall i love seijoh so much like theyre my favorite school and my favorite boys and i know their names by heart and im just so SOFT for them !!!!!

also: yall will find out what other fandom ill be writing for in the future in this one

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

combined two anon requests:

- Could we get the boys reacting to finding out the seijoh manager is quite popular to both genders?? Maybe they over hear a confession?

- Why do I feel like half of the team would be all pouty when word comes around that a guy confessed to manager, the others would probably be annoyed/irritated. Oikawa being all bratty cause no matter what he tried,she never showed ant interest when he flirts. But now this boy comes alone ... (but like you said manager is too focused in school and the team)

MY HEART WAS RIPPED OUT OF MY CHEST AND THROWN INTO A BLENDER WHEN I SAW THIS PART OR JUST WHEN SEIJOH LOST IN GENERAL BC MY BABIES WORKED SO HARD AAAAAAA

oof girl the world is ending

so basically,,,,,

the entire just magically knew about what happened earlier and yahaba’s theory of team telepathy really does work bc not even a minute after it happened, they all spammed you messages and next thing you knew, oikawa was naruto-ing down from the 3rd floor to your class in the first floor

tbh, they shouldve seen this coming yanno?

you were ridiculously pretty and you carried yourself w such elegance and grace that it just seemed to hypnotize everyone into stopping what they were doing and watched you in awe doing the most mundane things like walking or sitting

lmao couldnt be me

your confessions usually happened over letters bc either tol boys kunimi or kindaichi are usually around you at all times so theyre too scared to do anything

hence why your locker was always filled with envelopes yet no upfront public confessions

it ranged from upperclassmen and upperclasswomen who expressed their interest in you and wanted to date you and get to know you better

but tf you dont even know them and you werent about to date a whole stranger

this made the boys a little peeved because you were popular with both the boys and the gals so they were constantly on edge on who was talking to you

it was like having an oikawa 2.0 but not indulging them and pretending theyre not even there

like when you walk to class and sit down, they would flock over and offer you drinks and snacks but you either turned them down or just flat-out ignored them

maybe this was what fueled others on more

your reserved attitude and your refusals made it look like you were playing hard to get and it was almost like a game on who could win the heart of the princess of seijoh

this was proven really difficult because not only do they have your dismissals, you also had guard dogs at every corner and would bite their head off at the slight indication of an interaction

however,,,,

today,,,

this morning,,,,

at 7:53 AM,,,,

they saw you walking down the hallway with a purple-haired boy holding your bag and you giggling at what he was saying

um EXCUSE ME MAAM WHAT

EVERYONE HAS BEEN TRYING TO GAIN YOUR AFFECTIONS FOR MONTHS YET YOU ARE HERE INTERACTING WITH A MALE WHO NO ONE EVEN KNOWS

ESPECIALLY SINCE HE WAS A MALE WHO WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU AND HE WASNT A MEMBER OF THE TEAM

!!!!!

and ofc, the boys would immediately know even though theyre spread all over the school

it was kyoken who saw you as he was leaning against your locker and his eyes narrowed before he secretly took a picture and sent it to yahaba, asking if there was a new guy who entered the team while he was away

when he replied with a panicked, ‘NO WHO IS THAT’

kyoken was already advancing to you

yahaba-san immediately sent the picture to the team group chat, that excluded you rood, and oikawa wasted no time and even pushed some fangirls so he could go to you

‘-and she destroyed my sheets’

you laughed at the story and hitoshi stared at you with awe in his eyes

how can someone laugh so beautifully?

like a snort should be considered ugly and gross but it was like cute little squeaks from you and he thought you were like a fairy

‘oh god, i wasnt-’

you were cut off with a hand that held your arm

you came face to face with the glaring face of one of your boys and you immediately turned to him in concern, immediately grasping an arm with the other hand on his cheek to look for any cuts

he rarely comes to you on a normal basis so you thought something was wrong

‘whats wrong, kyo-san? did you get into a fight? do you need me to patch you up?’

he didnt care what you were saying, instead heatedly glaring at this new guy, and grunted a response to agreeing with you going to the nurse

just anywhere to get you away from this,,,, stranger

‘toshi i have to-’

then you were cut off again

‘YYYYY/NNNNNNN-CHHHHHAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘OI SHITTYKAWA!’

‘OIKAWA-SAN!’

‘OIKAWA!’

‘CAPTAIN!’

from behind you, 5 tol looming figures were running towards you and next thing you knew, you were in the arms of your captain

‘oikawa-san! what are you doing?!’

oikawa held you tightly against his chest and had his arms tightly around your form to prevent you from being taken away

most of the volleyball team were now circling you and pointedly glaring at the poor boy who was so confused that he wasnt bothered by the death glares

‘oh, its you’

kunimi grumbled

‘kunimi, whats happening?’

hitoshi questioned

you fought away from the hold of oikawa and pushed mattsukawa and hanamaki to stand in front of shinsou hitoshi

‘so sorry about this, toshi. i’ll help you with your room later and ill text you when practice is finished, okay?’

you sheepishly smiled and he nodded, his own smile reassuring you

‘yep. ill see you later then’

‘bye’

you softly said and he turned to walk away

but as soon as he was out of sight, you turned around with a grim looking expression and your hands on your hips, a hard look in your eyes

‘boys, what was that?’

you gritted out

‘y/n-chan! don’t you see?! he was going to take you away! he was an intrude-OW!’

he yelped when you reached up and grabbed his ear before grabbing the other closest who was iwaizumi

they both whined and complained about the ear and slapped your hand but you didnt let up

‘he is a friend, oikawa-san. you have no right on who i can be friends and who i can hang out with because i still have a life outside the team!’

you scolded and the others hung their heads low like puppies

‘sorry, y/n-chan’

oikawa mumbled and iwaizumi also mumbled his apology so you let go of them, dusting off your hands

‘and the rest of you, hold back your captain and dont intimidate him like that!’

‘sorry’

you sighed but ruffled their hair before turning to go to class

‘now, be good boys and dont bother others like this again’

‘yes’

they chorused and you nodded, satisfied

‘ill hold you to it!’

you shouted as you walked down the hallway

when you turned a corner, oikawa grabbed kunimi by the arms

‘you know him, dont you? who is he? what class? address? mother’s name? father’s name? age-’

‘oi stop it, shittykawa’

but despite that, iwaizumi looked at the younger, expecting answers as well

kunimi sighed

‘thats shinsou hitoshi from class 1-3. we have gym together’

and ‘we’ was kunimi and you since you were both in the same class so you constantly saw this shinsou boy?

nuh uh, dont think so, francisco

from the looks of it, you were still single and there was a pining from shinso’s part, maybe yours they dont know

and they were going to do everything in their power to keep you away from him

this was excused to them as protecting their manager from someone else and they werent going to let you be taken by someone else

during practice, they grilled you over your relationship with him

‘i honestly dont know why this is your business but if you must know, his adoptive father, aizawa-san, is my mother’s co-worker and i usually catsit for them. dont worry, we’re not dating. just friends, that’s all’

but they know it wasnt just a friendship type of situation

so when the 4 third years saw you being confessed to by this ‘friend’ outside, they almost toppled out the window as they tried to listen to what was being said

‘shittykawa get off my back!’

‘nuh uh! i want to see clearly!’

‘everyone needs to know that code red is happening!’

yall what

mattsun took a picture and sent it to the gc about their princess being confessed to

no one replied, possibly too upset or too busy sulking

kyoken actually had to be excused outside bc he was glaring at everyone and everything and the teacher and students were so scared that they had to take him out of class

they were even more peeved when you just walked in like nothing happened

you didnt mention the confession to anyone else the whole day and when you entered the gym, it was very tense

the coaches even looked confused

‘did you guys fight?’

you questioned but no one answered

kunimi and kindaichi were playing with a ball and glaring at it as it hit the floor

the 2nd years yes including kyobabie were pouting to the side

the 3rd years looked annoyed and pissed off

overall just not seijoh babie vibes

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today🧚✨

‘hey’

you gently said and walked to the captain to figure out what was going on

‘oikawa-san, what happened?’

‘are you dating him now, y/n?’

the seriousness in his voice shocked you and you took a step back in surprise

your expression made him think that you did accept the confession and he scoffed before walking away and doing a jump serve that sounded like a canon blasting

but you were actually confused and surprised that they even knew bc you were sure it was a secluded area where no one could see you

‘dating,,,? dating who?’

you asked to them and the 3rd years just knitted their eyebrows

‘dont play coy, y/n-chan’

oikawa hissed

‘no matter how many times i flirted or asked you on dates, you never said yes. never agreed or even showed a little bit of interest. on me!! your captain!!! but now!!! this little grape boy comes along and you suddenly start dating just because he has cats! what kinda bias is this?!’

he started ranting and whining and being a brat that you pinched his nose shut

‘oi, oikawa-san, are you jumping to conclusions again? first the hickey accident and now this?’

he made a whining noise for you to let go and rubbed his nose when you finally let go

you turned around to face the others and you sighed, massaging your temples

‘everyone, who spread this misunderstanding?’

no one pointed to anyone but their gazes settled on the thick eyebrow boy that you were sure wouldnt have ratted you out

a noise of surprise and betrayal escaped from you as mattsun quickly scrambled to get everyone to stop staring at him

‘MATTSUN-SAN! YOU-!’

you pointed at him and mattsun rushed forward to grab your hands before holding them close to his chest

‘y/n-chan, we just saw you when we were passing! it was makki who wanted to tell the others!’

the betrayal made iwa laugh but makki ran up to kick mattsun to the side

‘youre the one who committed the deed! i was merely suggesting it! it was iwaizumi who wanted to watch them first!’

‘IWA-SAN!’

you gasped at the normally chill third year and you didnt expect him to be the one who started it first

iwa panicked and held his hands out cautiously

‘y/n-chan, understand that i was just worried and i didnt want you to be outside by yourself after what happened, okay? i didnt know he was confessing to you’

you closed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose tightly

‘again! whoever and whatever happens in my love life is my business! mine! and only mine! you cannot control it and get angry at ME because i do want a boyfriend and i do want to experience dating bc i want to know how it feels to be loved like that! so i wont let a bunch of children stop me from having that!’

the third years shared a look before they they gave up and nodded in defeat

but oikawa was the most offended

‘Y/N-CHAN! I ASK YOU ON DATES ALL THE TIME AND I ALWAYS OFFER TO GIVE YOU THAT LOVE SO WHY CAN’T IT BE ME?! WHAT DOES THAT GRAPE HUMANOID HAVE THAT I DONT?!’

he whined and stomped his foot after crossing his arms and a pout on his face

you shook your head, not even bothering to answer that, and went to the others

‘dont be mad and be upset, okay? i refused him bc i have no time for a relationship when im too busy looking after my own boys. i really dont want to add another’

kindaichi and yahaba’s face scrunched as they rushed forward to hug you

‘we thought you would leave us y/n-chan!’

‘stay as ours forever, okay?’

you were so relieved that they werent as aggressive as the oldests and gave each player their own favorite hugs

but you stopped in front of kyo, not really knowing how to hug him since youve never exactly showed any type of affection like that

so you were just awkwardly standing there with raised arms but he patted your head, you smiling and leaning more to his touch

‘hm, kyo-san, ya finally warming up to me?’

you teased but he scoffed, gently headbutting you with his forehead against yours

‘now, everyone! dont misunderstand and know that for as long as i will be a manager, i wont be in a relationship bc my time as a manager is too crucial since i would probably have to look after you so you dont get yourself to jail. a boyfriend is adding more boys in to that list and i dont want that. you will be my boys forever and i wont be taken from you so please trust on me and stop being so overprotective bc i wont give them the affection or wishes they want!’

oikawa teared up and was about to go trample you but he was held back

‘no! i want a hug! i want a family hug! cmon, iwa-chan!’

practice went by quickly but you demanded them to do 10 diving laps in punishment for all the misunderstandings theyve created

but they gladly did it bc it meant that you wont be taken from them and you would be theirs forever and their cute manager is going to pay attention to them and them only

i got serious yandere vibes from this but its so heartwarming that theyre so overprotective and lowkey you got yourself a harem

after practice, they all wanted to walk home with you but you told them that shinsou’s house was the other direction

‘y/n-chan! you said you wouldn’t-’

you rolled your eyes

‘oikawa-san, just because i refused that confession doesnt mean i will stop earning money. i still have to catsit for his family and earn my money!’

they only agreed when kyo said that he was walking that way too but they were still weary and jealous bc he got to spend more time with you than them

as you were both walking, you looked up at him

‘kyo-san, what type of hug do you like?’

‘hah?’

he looked down at you bc we short with wide eyes and flushed cheeks

you smiled and looked forward, skipping slightly

‘everyone in the team has their own special hugs. i want everyone to have one bc you all are individually special to me so-’

but he stopped walking and pulled arm before he lifted you up, making you squeak and wrap your legs around his waist

thank god you were wearing your tracksuit and not your skirt

‘k-kyo-san?’

bruh is it obv that kyoken is one of my favorite seijoh boys like bls love on him

he didnt want you to see his flustered expression bc he still has a reputation to uphold, yanno?

so he tucked it in your neck and you softly smiled before playing with the baby hairs at the base of his neck

‘you like this kind then, kyo-san? kinda aggressive but perfectly suits you, yanno?’

he just grunted and you laughed

he wasnt about to tell you that he liked holding you on his arms bc you were so tiny and so you that holding you like this makes him feel like he was protecting you and feel good about himself bc he gets to be the one who shields you from the world

yuhhhhh get it kyo

‘so yahaba-san told me that you got kicked out of class bc you scared the teacher and kids?’

you questioned and he left his spot on your neck and pulled his face back so you could clearly see his face

it was red and possibly flustered but you just snickered

he still held you by his strong arms so you were able to move your small hands to his face where he flinched at first but relaxed when you touched his cheeks

your fingers gently pulled the sides of his lips and you tilted your head to the side

‘you,,, look really handsome when you smile, kyo-san’

you whispered and he was so surprised that his tough mask fell and was replaced by wide eyes and his eyebrows rose up, the intimidating look disappearing from his eyes

‘i-i do?’

you bit your lip bc this was so different from the aggressive kyo you knew and you didnt expect this type of innocence that he just showed you

maybe he wasnt so innocent from the fights and arguments he has started or been in

but he was so innocent to soft touches and compliments bc he wasnt exposed to it, only used to the ones that were said due to the aura he exuded or his looks

‘yep, you do. so keep smiling for me, kay? dont have to be around the others or all the time, but i,,, want to see it sometimes’

he blinked at you but quickly went back to your neck to hide the big smile that was threatening to come out

you felt his lips move and you laughed

‘noooo! kyo-san!!! i want to see your smilee!!! dont hide it!!!’

but it was cut short when a familiar shout was heard from the other side of the street that was near the school

it seemed that oikawa was worried about you walking alone with kyoken so he followed you both with the other third years

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan!’

he shouted in betrayal

you were about to get away from kyo’s hold but he tightened his grip and leaned in to place a kiss on your forehead, still staring straight at the captain

‘mine’

again, do you know what happened next?

oikawa screamed

this was actually pretty funny to write bc wowza oikawa is so oikawa and hes just so oikawa-like, yanno? and im still simping over kyoken and shinsou is my ult fave in bnha and i really love him like ugghhhh :’)

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ghostbustermelanieking · 3 years ago

Text

i have finally finished season 4 vol. 1 of stranger things and i have some messy thoughts.

1. the vecna/henry creel/one twist is actually excellent. i'm not sure about the broader implications in the world -- and how it connects to the kids like el, etc. -- but the execution of this specific twist is great and i'm excited to see where it goes

2. i am so hooked onto the russia plotline, perhaps just because of how invested i am in joyce/hopper (and how much i love fake death plots), but. yes. (ranking this plot first and possibly hawkins second?)

3. in terms of plot alone, i think this is the best the show has been since season 1. it's original while staying true to form/paying tribute to what comes before, it's eerie and a change in pace, and like i said, the twist and stuff that ties into the overarching lore works super well. the different plotlines can feel scattered at times, but they all work well in their self contained nature, more or less, and i feel like it's going to come together really well

4. character arcs are dicey-er for me. having rewatched the show this week, i feel like seasons 2 and 3 are really strong in character stuff and weaker in plot. season 4 is mostly stronger in plot and sometimes weaker in character. it kind of varies in my humble opinion. hopper, for example, feels like a return to form from season 3. el's stuff is as strong as always. obviously season 4 devotes a lot of much needed time to max.

but (as in past seasons) it does feel like some character stuff is going by the wayside. i've liked the jonathan stuff in the early episodes of this season, but it feels like he's kind of been left by the wayside in terms of character stuff since season 2. i like what they're doing with will but it also feels like it's taking a super backseat to other stuff. i like everything they've done with erica and robin, but they feel underutilized this season. i really miss the robin and steve dynamic. mike also seems to have disappeared into the chaos. the first few episodes were overall pretty great with character setup, especially 4x01, but it seems to have sort of disappeared as the plot ramps up. (i guess this kind of happened in s3 too lol.) my biggest criticism of the show in the past has been that they have too much to juggle, especially as they keep adding new characters (likeable new characters! but still) to an already busy ensemble, and it feels like characterization and dynamics get neglected in the meantime. those are just my thoughts. ever since season 2, i've been left at least a little wanting in terms of character stuff and dynamics -- i'm usually left wanting more in at least a couple areas.

5. that being said, i'm really glad for the longer episode lengths this season. is it absurd in some ways? yes, and maybe they shouldve just split 9 episodes into more shorter ones. but we do need that extra screen time to give all these storylines attention, i think.

6. all this being said, i've enjoyed this show since it came out, and i'm rly enjoying s4. i've enjoyed my rewatch as a whole! i'll always have fun watching this show (even s3, which is the worst season imo -- the show stays fun no matter what).

7. i cannot wait for vol. 2. give it to me please.

8. if anyone has thoughts and wants to discuss, hmu!

#stranger things spoilers #stranger things

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omegawolverine · 4 years ago

Note

I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

#shit self #asks #boku no hero academia #long post #bakugou katsuki #yes i am a bakugou kinnie shut the fuck up /lh #this is all /nm btw its just so much easier to make my long posts aggressive yk #this is just how i talk irl but Better Formatted #info dump #kinz #anti mitsuki #discourse #bangerz

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nikrangdan · 4 years ago

Text

cafeworker!ni-ki

pairing: cafeworker!ni-ki x female reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: the cashier at the new coffee shop was so adorable you just couldn’t resist visiting just for him

**did not proofread

————

contrary to popular belief, you were NOT a social person

whenever you were around friends and family, you were always the loudest person there

like SHUT UP Y/N!!!!!!

anyways although you were loud, people still enjoyed being around you because you had such a sweet soul and interesting humor

everyone close to you knew that you hated talking to people you didnt know

but to all the strangers? no

they would think you were an outgoing ready-to-meet-new-people extrovert

which was so, so wrong

but ALAS, you had to talk strangers almost everyday living in 2020

(well lets pretend we arent in the middle of a pandemic right now)

moving on......

so you were in high school at the downfall of your existence

you used to have so many friends when you were younger ..now you only have like 3

and those three were always busy (busy making up excuses thats for sure) so you never really hung out with them outside of school

and on one fine evening after school you decided to visit the new cafe 5 minutes from your house

u were really excited because all the cafes were 15 minutes from your house so now u could just walk to this one if u wanted to !!!

but yeah it was in the middle of a small plaza that had cute buildings

you pulled up to the parking lot and was just about to get out the car when u remembered..

u have to talk to the cashier :/

who’s a stranger! even more ://

it was always so weird to you.. whenever you went out you always had someone else order for you because you just hated talking to strangers

you just felt uncomfortable and you couldnt help it

its not like you have never ordered for yourself but you would always prefer not to

and now that you think about it

this is the first time you have gone out by yourself

you did text one of your friends beforehand but they said they “had homework to do”

LIES!!!!

but you really wanted to try the coffee so you just ran with it

time to face your fears!

you opened the glass door to reveal a cute looking cafe, like the ones you’d see in movies

you loved it already

glancing to the cashier you’d have to be talking to—

hold on

you had to do a double take because WOAH.....

the cashier...

he....

wow..

you have never seen a boy like that in your life

you stood there for like 3 seconds before coming to your senses and standing infront of the menu

that was infrONT OF HIM

“hi, what can i get for you?”

HIS VOICE OH MY GOD..!?!?!

“oh um.. can i get a second to .. look..?”

“yeah of course,” he gestured to the menu on the wall above him

hes so nice u almost cried

your eyes shakily traveled up to the chalkboard menu and u began to ‘read’ the options

its like u could feel his eyes on u WTF!!!!

um um um *internally keyboard smashes*

you couldnt even think

the words on the menu were like gibberish

the ONE time u go out by yourself

this had to happen.. of course! someone had it out for you, you were sure of it >:(

picking a random drink you gave him your order

“uh can i have an iced caramel macchiato?”

ITS LIKE YOU CANT SAY A SENTENCE WITHOUT UH OR UM

u cant help but think hes judging you

he looks like that while u are standing there in old sweatpants your dads tshirt

“sure, what size?” he looks into your eyes after putting your order into the machine

god you felt your heart stop

his Eyes..... theyre so beautiful

“oh um regular” you attempted to give a small smile

hopefully it looked like one

“okay that’ll be $5.12.”

you dug out some cash from your bag and handed it to him

he gave u your change and gave u a small smile

“your drink will be out in a minute”

AAAAA

he went :)

he is so CUTE.....?!?!

he looked around your age too

sigh... you knew he was way out of your league though

you were gushing over him but he probably thought you were just another boring customer

while waiting u sat at one of the 2 person tables on your phone

and u IMMEDIATELY went to text your groupchat

‘GUYS’

‘AT THE CAFE NEAR MY HOUSE’

‘CUTEST BOY IVE EVER SEEN EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE’

‘WTF IM GONNA CRY HOW DOES HE EXIST’

‘WAIT BRB HE S COMIBBG’

you tried to quickly put your phone down without looking suspicious when you saw him walking towards you with a drink in his hand

“here you go, enjoy” he said before swiftly making his way back to the counter and talking to the other worker there

wow... hes so mesmerizing

you’d steal glances at him every now and then while taking sips of your drink

you were sitting there for like 20 minutes before you noticed you finished your drink

you totally forgot you came here to see how good their coffee was

it was good by the way

sadly it was your time to leave

taking one last glance at him, you threw away your empty cup and walked out the door

wow

u cant believe you got to witness the most beautiful human being ever

in your small town?? crazy

you were sitting in your car just thinking

WAIT

U DIDNT EVEN KNOW HIS NAME!

you mentally punched yourself but then you started laughing

what does knowing his name even matter, its not like u were ever going to talk to him anyway

LOL

*sad emoji*

but the coffee was good so you definitely planned to go back

and not just because of the cute boy

...unless....

*time skip*

the next day you went there was a week later at the same time in hopes that he was working the same shift

AND HE WAS!!!!

score! 1 for y/n, 0 for umm... any other person who had a crush on him too i guess

the cafe didnt have too many people since it was fairly new and also in a small part of the city

so when you went in, you were the only one there along with the two workers

“welcome, what would you like to order?”

NOT THIS AGAIN

he looked even cuter today

his messy blond hair almost covered his eyes

you shouldve forced your friend to come with you this time

you ordered the same thing as last time but this time he asked for your name

hmmm

“um y/n” you answered

your heart was always beating 2 times as fast whenever you had to talk to him

he wrote it down on the cup and after you paid, you went to sit down at the same spot as last time

looking at him is literally the highlight of your day

the same thing happened as last time, he came over and gave you your drink without giving u a second glance

>:((((

boooo look at me cute boy

nonetheless u continued going to the cafe at the same time as much as u could which was like three times a week

literally over a month later and u dont think anythings going to happen

u punch yourself for thinking the boy would somehow find interest in you

hes still indifferent to you which isn’t surprising since you’ve never made any kind of move

ever

but

he should know u by now

hopefully..

*time skip again*

it was a saturday

at this point you’ve basically given up on having a crush on him and now since its become a routine u just say you go for the coffee

not really paying attention to your surroundings you dont notice that the boy at the cash register isnt the normal one you see almost everyday

“hey, what would you like to order?”

woah WHAT

you look up from your bag to notice a boy that was definitely not the one that normally stood infront of it at this time

and you also noticed something on this new cashier

a name tag

how come your old little crush didnt have one????

this new boys name was ‘jay’ and he was fairly cute too

looking around the corner at the other worker u noticed he has a name tag too

you recognized him because he was always working when the cute boy was at the cash register

his name was ‘heeseung’

after taking in these new additions you answered to jay

“oh um.. can i ge-,”

“she gets an iced caramel macchiato. her name is y/n”

??!<_|#%[>~€\£~

you whipped your head around so fast to see who said that behind you

was it who you thought it was ??!??!

YES IT WAS!!!!

OH MYGOD

ITS HIM

you widened your eyes at the boy who wasnt wearing his normal black and white uniform

instead he was wearing black ripped jeans and a gray hoodie

wow....... and u thought he couldnt look any better

BUT OMG?? HE REMEMBERS U

“oh wow ni-ki, you know her?” the boy named jay asked him

“uh yeah.. shes a regular” he said before walking to stand next to you

NI-KI

HIS NAME IS NI-KI OHMHGOD

u thought his name fit him perfectly its so CUTE

“are you gonna get something too?”

this whole time you were silent because.. what is going on

your heart was being SO fast you thought that everyone could hear it

“yup, can i get the same thing? also im paying for both of us”

WHAT??/):)/$;##\%|

ur eyes widened even more it looked like they were gonna pop out of its sockets

u unconsciously leaned towards the boy next you and kind of put your hands up

“w-what?? oh um no, you dont have to do that” you nervously said to him as he looked down at you

he kind of had a smile on his face

“i want to.”

there is no way this is happening

“oiiii ni-ki” jay chuckled while punching in numbers on the cash register

“ill have both of your drinks out soon, you two kids have fun!” jay said before turning around to face heeseung

WHAT??!!??!

your jaw almost dropped from shock

millions of thoughts ran through your brain and you couldnt even process anything

u cant believe this was happening

it was like a wattpad story or something.. is this how u meet ur soulmate

your thoughts were interrupted by a hand on your back momentarily and u look to see ni-ki shyly grinning and gesturing u towards a table

no way...

you awkwardly follow him to a 2 person table next to wall and sit down

you literally could not hear anything except for the pounding of your heart

“uh sorry about that...” he rubbed his neck and sheepishly smiled

“im ni-ki by the way”

“y/n...” u felt so awkward u wanted to cry

“agh, im really sorry if that was weird.. i just didnt know how to ask you out.....” he trailed off

*passes out*

IM JOKING

Ok but u felt ur heart stop bc NO WAY

“wait what??” u ask, ur eyes bigger than the moon

“um yeah... haha i took the day off today to try to talk to you.. sorry if that was weird..”

HE WAS SO AWKWARD JUST LIKE YOU IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER

“no its okay!! im glad actually...”

“really? so is it okay if we hang out?” he asked excitedly

u did not think u could handle HOW CUTE THIS BOY WAS O M G...

“of course! sorry if im kind of awkward though” you gave a small smile

“its okay, i think i am too”

you two began talking about the cafe and where you went to school

turns out even though you two lived in the same town (literally 5 minutes away from eachother) u went to different schools for some reason

u talked for like 2 minutes before jay walked up with your drinks

“hows it going guys?”

“its doing good bro, now go away..” ni-ki lightly shoved jay and laughed

you giggled at the sight

jay looked offended and came right back

“that is not how you talk to your elders ni-ki! y/n do you see this?!” he scoffed

ni-ki just rolled his eyes and turned back to you

“do not ignore me young man!” jay joked

“oh y/n, ive heard all about you from ni-ki over here by the way.”

ni-ki’s eyes got so big you almost got worried

he turned around so fast and gave jay one of those ‘i swear if you say anything ur dead meat’ looks

jay obviously did not care

“hes always like ‘y/n this y/n that’ blah blah im glad he finally got the balls to ask you out because im honestly sick of hearing it!” jay laughed

u were blushing so hard

NI-KI LIKED U????

this felt like a dream

ni-ki pushed jay away so hard and turned back with red cheeks

awe

but yeah that was the beginning of the cutest relationship ever

u and ni-ki were so cute together <333

you’d always visit him during ur free time

it took like 2 months before u two made it official tho

and he was the sweetest boyfriend ever

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