#but i dont want to be seen as the white chick who is trying to find a way to not be seen as white
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amazeedazee · 2 years ago
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Having some kinda feelings on my Romani heritage and exploring that more
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listofwhyyouloveher · 7 months ago
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Could we get some angst like where fem!reader and dallas get into an argument and/or go on a break but they can’t stand being away from each other and do the whole confession and kiss in the rain cliche?
Mwah mwah chefs kiss love this i dont know how to cw so uhh fem reader?? use of nickname doll??? fight??? idk bro
It was raining. Hard. The soft pitter-patter of the droplets on the window reminds you of reality everytime you start drifting away.
“I don’t understand, who do you take me for?! An idiot?!” You seethed, knuckles turning white from clenching them too hard. “No, you’re not an idiot, you’re a bitch, that’s what you are.” Dally says pointing at you. He was equally as mad, although maybe for a less justified reason. You had seen him hanging around some red-head. It started as a simple question, but one thing led to another and now it was a full blown argument. “You don’t let me have any fun! No parties, no chicks, nuthin’!” He angrily stated. “We’re in a relationship, Dal! There is no chicks! No parties! Oh my God! Can you use your brain for like a minute and think about how I feel!” You say, putting your face in your hands. Dallas gives you a look before shaking his head. 
“That’s it, we’re done.” He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a cancer stick and a lighter. “Good riddance, toxic asshole” you huff, crossing your arms over your chest as he leaves.
You replay the fight in your mind, turning it over like a coin in your hand. Was I in the wrong? You think to yourself. Hell no. You affirmed yourself, if Dallas didn’t show up with an apology, you didn’t need it anyways. There’s a sharp crack against your window that startles you out of your self assurance. Another crack makes you look up. On the third crack you catch what it is. A pebble being thrown at the window. You look down at your lawn trying to catch a glimpse of who would be stupid enough to throw pebbles at your window during a storm. Dallas. Of course. Dallas was stupid enough. You quickly open the window, forcing it open quickly. A pebble wizzes by your face and you shoot Dally an unimpressed look. “What do you want, Dallas,” You say. Please, don’t stand in the rain, you’ll catch a cold. Your mind betrays you, you still care about him. “Let’s talk.” He say, voice slightly shaking, although you don’t know if its because of the cold or because he hasn’t seen you in forever. “You’re not stepping foot into my house while you're soaking wet.” His lips quirk up at that, there’s the girl he knows. “Would you like to come down then?” You make a show of mulling it over, although you already know the answer. The jacket is already in your hand by the time you're down the stairs and reaching for your keys. You quickly slip it on and rush out of the house. The rain soaks you before you’ve even reached Dal, the wind picking up speed and the rain turning into heavier droplets. He stands taller than you, by quite a bit actually, but his shoulders sag when you reach him. There’s a few seconds of silence, except for the torrent of rain that was battering both you and him. “I miss you.” He says, quietly. “That’s sweet.” There was a pause before Dally took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry. I messed up big time.” “You seem to do that a lot” You interject. He gives you a small chuckle. “Yeah, I guess I do. But I’m so sorry, really. It’s kind of hard adjusting to a ‘relationship’. I just thought that I could get a head start if..” his voice goes quiet, “if you ever decided to leave me like Sylvia. I thought I could prove I was a tuff guy. I’m not tuff, not really. Especially when it comes to you. I really hate that I’m turning soft or whatever..” He looked up at you, his usually harsh eyes were unexpectedly innocent. “Dallas, you can’t keep thinking that I’m going to morph into Sylvia. I’m not Sylvia, you’ve got to understand, you can’t keep letting this front our relationship.” You hugged your jacket tighter around you. “You’re right, you're not Sylvia, you’re so much more, so much better than she will ever be.” and before you could react his hands moved to your face and he pulled you in. The kiss was, dare I say, “magical”, resparking feelings that you had tried to put out for the whole time Dally was missing from your life. You pulled away quickly. “Please, doll, I’m so sorry for everything, I’m ready to be a better boyfriend, don’t pull away from me.” He nearly sobs. You roll your eyes and take your keys from out of your jacket pocket. “As much as I love the ‘kiss in the rain’ cliche, it’s fucking cold out here Dal,” you smile at him, taking his hand. He wraps his arm around your neck pulling you in again. His hand slips into yours and you realize how warm it is in his arms.
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motleycrueobsessed · 6 months ago
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Could you write a smut with Vince during that first scene in the dirt where the guys go to the pool party to see Vince and while Vince is performing Nikki starts talking the female reader up and Vince sees it and aggressively storms off stage to Nikki and the reader and pulls reader aside and fucks her?
i actually love you. /p
Warnings!: Vince being a horny bastard, smut, barely any aftercare, brat tamer.. i think thats it.
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The three boys, Sixx, Mick and Tom arrive to the pool party after Tom said he knew a guy who could sing. They saw the blonde on stage, singing a cover of “My Kinda Lover.”
“A fuckin cover band?” Mick said with a almost disgusted look on his face. “Yeah but Im telling you, i went to highschool with this dude.. hey, *that* is exactly who we need.”
The boys all walk over to a table with a bunch of alcohol, and both Mick and Tommy reach for the Jack Daniels. Mick gives Tom the death stare and Tom lets go. Nikki shoves a bag of coke in his jacket.
“His voice ain’t bad.” Mick remarked. A bunch of girls gathered around the Blonde, and squealed. “I dont care if he can sing or not look at what he’s doing to those chicks!” Nikki exclaimed.
“Thank you, we’re rock candy!” Vince exclaimed before getting off stage, almost angrily. Meanwhile, Nikki had found a hot chick, and he went off and talked to her.
“So pretty baby, you got a boyfriend?” Nikki inquired. “Yes, i do.” You replied. “And.. who would this lucky gentleman be?” Nikki asked, until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Apparently Vince had seen them and gotten off stage quickly. “You like trying to hit on peoples girlfriends?” Vince asked. “No man i was just making conversation!” Nikki replied to the blonde. “Right.”
“We were actually here to talk to you.” Nikki stated. “Talk to me in a minute. I want to have a word with my girlfriend, Y/N.” Vince announced. Vin grabbed your hand and dragged you off out of the public eye. “What the FUCK were you doing?” Vince spat. “Making conversation. Like a normal person does when someone talks to them.” You replied. “Oh so you’re in a bratty mood? Got it.”
So, Vince shoved you into his backseat and tugs your bottom off. “You wanna be a brat? I’ll show you what happens to brats.” He removes your panties and dives in, eating you out like you’re his last meal. “Mmh.. you taste fuckin’ divine, baby girl.” He moves and slides two slim fingers into you, curling them around and sucking on your clit.
“Mmmh! Vince~” You whimpered, before Vince slapped a hand over your mouth to keep you quiet. “Hush baby girl. You don’t want anyone to know how I’m about to ruin you, do you sweetheart?” Vince said in a condescending tone, pulling away from your dripping cunt. “Mn-mh..” You whimpered out. “Good girl.”
He tugged off his leather pants and his boxers along with them, and his hard on sprung out, leaking pre-cum. He moved you and laid down, and then grabbed you by your hips and positioned you on top of him. He helped you lower yourself onto him, and gave you a minute to adjust to his size. With a whimper, you started bouncing on his cock.
“You look so pretty when you’re ruining yourself on my cock, baby girl.” Vince praised. “Mm.. vin..~” You moaned out, trying to grip anything in your reach.
“Vinnie, im gonna cum..” You whimpered. “Come for me baby. Thats it.. good girl.” As if on cue, you released all over his cock. He soon followed, coating your tight walls with white.
“Good girl.. Come on, lets get you cleaned up baby.” Vince pulled you up off of his cock, as you whimpered from the loss of his cock inside of you.
He helped you dress again and then he dressed himself, pulling his leather pants back on. He attached his lips to yours for a loving kiss, holding it for a minute. He eventually pulled away from you.
“You did so good, pretty baby.” Vince whispered to you. “Now those dickheads who decided they wanted to try their luck with you wanted to talk to me. Wait for me here darlin.”
So he got up and left the car. He slowly walked back into the pool area and spoke to the three, coming back with a demo tape. He got into the car, drivers side.
He pulled away from the party, goin and driving home.
“Im not done with you baby. We’re gonna have some more fun once we’re home.”
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This is actually so shitty i hate the ending ��️
Its short and im sorry ‼️
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sroomheaddoc · 2 years ago
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First time Jason saw him it was a blur of orange (is Jack still wearing the hazmat??) slaming into Bane. Second time Jason saw him, he’s talking to one of his leutenant asking about work around Crime Alley. Now that he has more than three second to look at him he realized how.. big the guy is. No Jason’s not poting he’s just, brooding. Yes, brooding about his lack of height. He’s blaming Joker tbh, and Bruce. Uh nevermind he needs to figure out what to do with this.. sunny golden retriever giant.
“Do you have any skill?” RH asked. “Well, I can punch? Or repair guns? Make fudge? Or just lifting things really, I’ll do anything!”
Fuck he really shouldn’t but he need more info about this guy and keeping him close might be the best option for now. “Repair guns? Fine. 8 pm, show him the garage” RH added to his leutenant. That night Jason followed him home and saw Jazz. Jazz who eerily stared back at him, keep the door open and said “You should come in”
And Danny just.. latched onto him. Everything snowballed between Danny phasing through Jason and the pit.. the pit just.. quiet. And Jason being Robin no not Robin never Robin again Red Hood started asking question and Jack tried to lie but Jazz put her hand on Jack’s “Maybe we should try and ask for help Dad” and Jack folded. Because Jazzypants’ right, they do need help. So Jack, Jasmine and Daniel Fenton are no longer and now they’re ((I DONT KNOW I NEED NAMES HELP)))
Days, weeks went by and their lives seems to get better, (Jack) is now making non lethal guns for RH (RH nevel let Jack get anywhere close to any action even though he can probably bodyslam 99% of Gotham Rouge straight to Arkham, (Jazz) took a year of Uni to focus on keeping her family safe and if she just want to make sure she’s there for her little brother because last time her baby brother died hurt she didn’t even know no one knows.
Maddie though, Maddie is MAD. At Phantom for KILLING her babyboy, her Danny, at Jack for lying to her, for choosing that menace, for everything. Was it all a lie? Why? Why would Jack do that? Phantom killed their son, Jack should be here right next to here hunting that little shit. It’s fine though, she doesn’t need him, GIW can help her find Phantom, thay promised.
So when GIW told Maddie that Jack was last seen in Gotham, she already has a go-bag ready. Unfortunately Booo-merang somehow cannot find Phantom’s ectosignature so she have to this the old way.
When RH got an alert about some weird guy in white suit and some red-head chick in blue jumpsuit (Boss did Gotham get a new mad scientist rouge or what) he ran.
GIW thought RH is a Ghost and hunted him, RH thinking better me than them started leading them around making sure he’s close enough to be seen but too far to get a good aim. There’s some close shot tho, too close.
DP x DC idea
Y'all feel free to ignore this, I just gotta get this funky little idea out of my head.
So it's a reveal gone wrong....kinda. You see while Maddy is insistent that there's no way the ghost boy is her son, Jack is an emotional wreck. Apologizing to Danny for not noticing and for all the threats he hurled his way. He also promises to convince Maddy that Danny really is their son and not some ghost pretending to be him.
Maddy starts coming around and things are finally looking up for Danny, until Jack has to go somewhere and next thing he knows, he's strapped to a table.
Maddy is convinced that once she opens the ghost boy up, she'll be able to prove that he's just imitating life and isn't really alive. Then she'll show Jack and he'll believe her and they'll get back to proving how dangerous ghosts can be.
When Jack gets back, she excitedly rushes to him. Ready to show him her proof. Meanwhile a feel of dread builds up in the big man's chest as his wife's rant gets more and more maniac. They get down to the basement where there's Danny on the table. Except it's not the Danny he left, this Danny is a small baby with snow white hair and glowing green eyes.
Jack isn't even listening to his wife's explanation about how this proves this isn't their son, he just scoops the boy up and leaves.
Unsure of what to do and knowing both his wife and the giw will be after him, he goes to Vlad. Who despite his "hatred" for the two takes one look at Jack on the verge of a breakdown with baby Danny in his arms and immediately sets them up with a plan.
He sends them to Gotham with fake IDs because the ambient ectoplasm is enough to mask Danny's signature and it might even help him recover.
So they get there right and everyone around them is immediately like ???. Because where did this strangely energetic man and his giggly baby come from and why are they in Gotham of all places!?
Still, Jack's overall golden retriever energy wins them over and they think he's fine albeit a little eccentric. Until one night...
You see Danny is a baby, with the powers of a powerful half ghost, who doesn't understand that he has to hide his powers or the dangers of a baby wandering the streets at night. Cue the baby constantly turning intangible and just... slipping through the walls, leaving Jack to go running after him. Danny thinks it's a fun game. Jack thinks he won't be able to take anymore of this.
Unfortunately for poor Jack Fenton, one night during a Danny chase, he sees his boy heading right towards a fight. Between the bats and this weird guy dressed as a luchador with weird tubes sticking out of him. Then the luchador notices Danny, and Jack is brought back to that day a couple of months ago. The day he failed to protect his son. He's not going to let him down again so he does the only thing he can think of.
He absolutely bodies the luchador, scoops his son up, and runs. Not stopping until he's safely back in his rinky little apartment. Danny is giggling and making cooing noises, blissfully unaware.
Meanwhile the batfam is in shock about this huge man who came out of nowhere and just dealt with Bane like he was a nuisance more than anything. This definitely requires some investigation.
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chelleztjs18 · 2 years ago
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Hi there again ;D
How ur doing? A very late happy thanksgiving just wanna stop by to say that I'm very grateful for you and your awesome fics :3 and thank you for tagging me in them.
I was drowning in college assignments and exams but I saw that I have some new stories from you that I didn't have the chance to read yet and I'll be trying to catch up with them as soon as I finish my last exam of the semester.
And I saw you're doing an ask kind of game so here goes my questions for you :v hahaha
Razzmatazz - Favourite TV Show? Cameo Pink - Favourite movie? Copper - What is your favourite kind of day? Fandango - Do you spontaneously start singing sometimes? and I've seen your other comments about having a kid already but Lilac - Would you want (more) kids?
Hello hello! I'm okay. Good to see u here again. How are you? U used to be panthastichumanbeing, right? Just wanna make sure.😁
Aaww thank you so much, i really appreciate it. U r being so sweet n lovely.. im thankful for u too, for ur support to my writing and ur comments thats encourage me to write more.
Oh no, im sorry. I can imagine how hard it is. I was in college only for two years though because i had to take a break for a reason. N i remember how overwhelming it was with all the dateline to submit all the homeworks and exams.
For the ask game:
Razmattaz-favorite tv show
I love love love Modern Family, n my second fav is Charmed (the old ones NOT the reboot). I coukd watch them over n over again n even play it in the background for comfort. 😅
Cameo Pink-Favorite Movie
Hmm this is hard. Maybe i can put it based on each genre of movie?
Psychological thriler- Greta, Romcom- The Proposal, Fantasy- The Huntsman:Winter's War and also Maleficent 1&2, Comedy- White Chicks, Actions- All John Wick Movies, also i dont know what genre Knives Out is but it's on my list. Also Marvel movies especially the Avengers movies and of course MoM and Black Widow.
Copper- what is your favorite kind of day?
When it's cold, gloomy and rainy all day. 😁
Fandango- do you spontaneously starts to sing sometimes?
Yes. I do. But im not a good singer so i sing when im alone, in the shower or driving. 😅
Lilac- would you want to have more kids?
I do but i dont. Mostly ,i want it just so my daughter have siblings to grow up with but then i dont wanna deal with pregnancy,giving birth or all the hard stuff plus lack of sleep or havibg post partum depression. 😅 so maybe i will just adopt a kid who is older, someday.
Thank u for asking me these. I appreciate it!
Send me color
Cheerio!
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spideymarvelws · 4 years ago
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Playing truth or dare with college!Peter and MJ dares you to give him a (private) lap dance
This turned out to be much longer than expected
Main Masterlist / Add Yourself To My Taglists
Warnings : SMUT! (Lap dance?ish?kind of? i went a bit of script im sorry, thigh riding, grinding, dirty talk, dom!peter, innocence kink, corruption kink?, masterbation, oral[male rec], mild degrading), alcohol consumption, everyone is 18+, kinda fluffy in the beginning but we do be getting smutty real quick tho, MJ being your personal wing woman
Also please dont take drinks from strangers this is fiction and not real life, always drink responsibly :)))
Word Count : 4.8k
Behind Doors
Fratboy!Peter Parker x Fem!Reader
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You tried to keep your staring to a minimum, you really did. But how could you when he stood in the middle of the crowd, glowing like an angel amongst everyone. He was laughing with his friends, his head tilted back with his eyes squeezed shut and a smile that could make anyone's day so much brighter. You wanted nothing more but to run your hands through his floppy brown hair bouncing on his head as he told his mates a story, his facial and hand movements lively when he moved them around, accentuating the words falling from his mouth.
His fit didn’t help either. A tight white t-shirt paired with blue jeans and a gold chain that hung from his neck, begging to be played with in any way. It was simplistic but made you swoon all the same. His muscles printed through the fabric didn’t help much either, his biceps almost tearing through the sleeves a mouth watering contrast to his cheerful face.
It was like staring at a greek god that radiated puppy dog energy.
“You’re not being subtle you know,” MJ whispered into you ear nudging your side with her elbow, “Just go talk to him,”
You shook your head, heat rising to your face as you averted your eyes from the brown eyed boy, turning to face your best friend, “You know i can’t do that,”
“Not with that you aren’t,” she pointed at the red solo cup you held in your hand filled halfway with orange juice. She quickly snatched the cup away from you, dumping the contents in the grass of the backyard.
“Hey!” You gasped, but made no effort to stop her.
“You need to loosen up,” she stabbed her finger into the middle of your chest, shoving her drink into your hands, “All of it, now,”
You took the cup hesitantly swirling the contents inside around for a bit, watching as the liquid moved smoothly around the sides of the plastic. You looked back up at MJ, feeling small when she stared you down with a stern look. You knew you weren’t finding a way out of this one.
“Fine,” you grumbled before tilting your head back, chugging the alcohol down. You let out a few coughs afterwards, giggling as MJ started to cheer.
“That’s my girl!” She wrapped her arm around your shoulder, pulling you into her side, “Now for about five more,”
Two hours and four drinks later, or maybe it was six you weren't keeping count, the party finally started to die down. The liquor running through your system did its job well in letting you loosen up so you could enjoy the party without being distracted by a certain brown haired boy.
You had lost MJ halfway through the night, your mind finally processing that she wasn’t by your side when you reached for her to dance with you. As you busied yourself by looking around the room, you felt someone place their hand on your lower back, sending shivers up your spine with the touch. You whipped your head around, expecting your equity intoxicated friend but only to be met with the same brown eyes you’ve been fawning over at the beginning of the night.
“Hey,” he said into your ear so that you heard it over all the noise. He moved his hand off your back after he got your attention. You tried your best to keep the tiny whine from escaping your throat at the loss of his touch. The free feeling you felt with the alcohol completely vanished with the sound of his voice turning you into that shy nerd all over again.
“Looking for someone?” He said, pushing the tips of his fingers into the front pockets of his pants.
You stood speechless, you mouth agape that Peter Parker, the Peter Parker was talking to you. MJ was wrong, no amount of alcohol could’ve prepared you for the moment. At least you didn't scurry away like a mouse like you would’ve if you were fully sober.
“I- uh,” you coughed, trying to get some words out but failing miserably.
“Sorry, It’s just I saw you looking around,” he scratched the back of his neck, chuckling at your flustered state. His cheeks starting to turn a light pink which made you swoon even harder, “I assume you’re looking for MJ, since you were with her for most of the night,”
“Oh, right,” you mumbled, laughing awkwardly, looking down to the ground, “How did you know I was with her?”
“You guys are always together!” He smiled showing off his pearly whites, “Around campus you know? I’ve seen you guys together in my classes as well,”
“You noticed me?” You whispered, mainly to yourself but he managed to pick up your words, making you even more embarrassed than before.
“Of course!” He passed his hand through his hair, looking straight into your eyes, “How could I not Y/n?”
You stood speechless, your mouth opening and closing as if you wanted to say something but changed your mind last minute. Millions of thoughts ran through your brain per second, the most frequent being your name rolling off his tongue.
“Anyways, uh, the main reason i came was to bring you to MJ,” he chuckled nervously, seeming just as flustered as you, “She’s in one of the spare bedrooms with some of the boys, we’re playing a good ole’ game of truth and dare,” he voice raised adorably, making you giggle lightly, “You don’t need to join or anything, but i don’t think you would want to be alone out here,”
“Yeah!” you replied a bit to quickly, shaking your head at your enthusiasm, “I mean, yeah, I would like to join you,”
“Sick!” He smiled brightly, grabbing your hand. Your eyes widened at the action as he pulled you through the crowd, you looked down at the ground, allowing him to maneuver you around the mass of bodies.
“Just so you don’t get lost,” he said, looking back at you, pointing out your intertwined hands.
“Of course!” You said back, holding back your squeals of excitement.
You were honestly surprised with how sweet he was acting towards you. Despite his status as part of the biggest frat on campus, his reputation upholded him as the good boy of the group, the one who helped old lady’s across the street or bought lunch for you when you didn't have the money. Sure, you saw this on multiple occasions but to experience it for yourself was a nice change, and just solidified your crush on him even more.
When he reached the stairway vacant of anybody, he still didn't let go of your hand, only tightening his fingers around yours. He walked down the dark hallway and approached a door ,giving you a reassuring smile before turning the knob and pushing it open, revealing around eight or nine people. Some laid on the bed, beers in hand as they laughed while others sat on the couch. You spotted MJ on the floor, laughing with Harry Osborn.
“Who’s the chick Parker?” One of the boys said, silencing the room and putting everyone's attention on you.
“This is Y/n,” he gestured towards you, “Y/n, everyone,” Peter finally let go of your hand, popped himself on the edge of the bed, picking up a beer from the side table and nodding his head at the empty space besides him.
You looked towards MJ panicked, but all she did was mouth ‘go’ with a shit eating grin. You sneered back at her, rolling your eyes as you walked up to the bed, bending your right leg back to sit on your calf while the other dangled over the edge.
“You’ll be fine, don’t worry,” Peter leaned into your ear, whispering gently, “Again, you don’t have to do anything you don’t have to,”
You pouted at his actions, melting at the fact that he was so observant with you. You looked down at his beer, before looking back up at him. If you were going to get through the rest of the night, you needed to be absolutely wasted.
“Do you have another beer?” You asked him, pointed to his bottle.
“You could just have mine,” he offered his drink, passing it off to you.
You bit your lip, taking a long swig of the liquid, “Thank you,”
Before the both of you could converse any longer, a girl with short blond hair you knew from English, called out from the corner, “Okay, okay, who wants to go next?”
“I think Y/n should go,” flash said, holding up his bottle towards you, “She’s the new one isn’t she?”
Peter looked at you, silently asking if you needed him to say anything. But you decided to take things into your own hands for the first time that night.
“Yeah, I’ll go,” you said, taking another swig of beer.
“Alright Y/n,” Harry said smugly, leaning back on his forearm, “Truth or dare?”
You thought about it for a bit, missing the smug look on MJ’s face as you muttered, “Dare”
“I dare you to give Peter a lap dance,” she said immediately, leaning back as she held in her laugh at your washed out face, “I mean we could send you to the other room if you want more privacy,”
You sat speechless and once again wanted to melt into the sheets beneath you. You felt Peter’s hand wrap around yours, giving him your attention.
“Only if you want to,” he muttered, giving you a soft smile.
“I-,” you took a deep breath, trying to gather the little confidence you had left, “Which room?”
Hollers and shouts bounced off the walls, as everyone hyped both of you up. Peter stood, pulling you up with him, leading you out the room.
“Take as much time as you need!” You heard MJ shout after you before the door closed, leaving you and Peter alone once again.
Your heart pounded inside your chest as Peter guided you once again to another room. You gulped, wondering if you had made the right decision so give a lap dance to your crush. He didn’t say anything as he knocked on a door, opening it when he didn't hear any noise come from the room.
“After you,” he said politely.
“Thank you,” you said shyly, walking to the middle of the room.
Peter closed the door behind him, leaning against the wood, “Sooooo,” he dragged looking you up and down, “I- uh, didn't expect you to say yes,”
“Me neither,” you chuckled, looking down to the floor.
“I mean if you don’t want to, it’s just a silly bet,” Peter said, fiddling with his fingers.
“Do-,” you coughed, “Do you want me too?”
“It’s up to you really,”
“But would you mind if i-“
“I mean I wouldn’t be against it-,”
You both laughed nervously falling into silence after that. You looked around the room, finding interest with everything besides him. You were fidgety, playing with your fingers while tapping your foot on the floor rapidly to calm your nerves. It was stupid, you’ve been dreaming about him for so long, and now that you were finally in a room together you clamed up, not knowing what to do in his presence.
Peter on the other hand kept his gaze on you, his eyes racking your body up and down. He wasn't going to lie to himself and say that he’d never thought of this moment, the moment where you and him were finally together, in a room, all alone.
You were different from the girls he was used to in the frat. You were untouched, well to his knowledge, you were a clean slate and from the small confrontations he’s had with you, he could tell you were obedient too.
He wanted so bad to just have his way with you, to absolutely ravish you like he did in his dreams. But he wanted to savour it. After so long of watching you pin over him, purely to feed his ego, he was ready to take things to the next level and what better way than with a good lap dance. Sure he was the good guy, both as himself and as his alternate persona as a hero, but when it comes to you, all his morals were thrown out the window.
Besides, you were both intoxicated and he didn't want your first time together to be at a stupid party in a room he was barely familiar with.
After a few more seconds of silence, Peter decided to take things into his own hands, to make his fantasy a reality, or to just get it started at least. He was the first to make a move, walking right up to you, taking your chin between his fingers, tilting your head up to look at him while his other hand made its way to the side of your waist, pulling you closer.
“Y/n?” He asked, swiping his thumb across your lips. He may have an unhealthy obsession with them but it didnt matter because in the next few moments he would make them his, “I’m not stupid you know,”
You blinked rapidly, tilting your head to the side at his statement, confused and slightly hurt.
Peter only chuckled, slipping his thumb between your lips for a split second before pulling it back out and resting it back on your plump lip, testing the waters, “I said i noticed you, and when I mean I noticed you,” he leaned forward, placing his lips near your ear, “I meant everything, down to the constant heart eyes,”
You held your breath, not knowing how to feel, what to think. Peter Parker, the Peter Parker, was standing in front of you, playing with your lips with such close proximity, telling you that he was aware of your existence. That there was a chance that he might feel the same way about you.
You had to remind yourself that this was just a bet, that he didn’t mean anything he was saying. He was only doing it because he had to. Even if he was a sweet boy by heart, he still had a reputation for sleeping around, that to him you were just another girl to add to his collection. 
But when he pushed his thumb into your mouth, you knew you'd fall victim as well.
“Mhh,” he hummed, “such a good girl, just like i knew you’d be,” suddenly, he pulled his thumb out of your mouth and sat back down on the bed, pulling you to straddle his lap, “Now, i believe you have a dare to fulfill,”
“I- uh,” you stuttered, hesitantly placing your hands on his shoulder as you settled into his hold.
“You’ve never done this before, have you princess?” Peter mumbled, hovering his lips over yours.
“i-,” you shook your head, lost for words when he called you princess.
He hummed, one of his hands gripping your waist while the other laided on your cheek, rubbing the soft skin with his thumb, “Let’s start off slow then,” his thumb moved to your mouth once more, playing with the bottom lip. You sat frozen, letting him take control. You didn't trust your body to move, you could barely even talk.
“I’ve always wondered what it was like to kiss these perfect lips,” he whispered, moving to kiss your neck, trailing his way up to the corner of your mouth, “I’d imagine you’ve though the same,”
You nodded, tightening your hold on his shoulders. Peter laughed, his breath hot on your face.
“You’re going to need to say something if you want me to continue princess,”
“Yes,” you squeaked, clearing your throat, embarrassed by your quick response, “Yes, I-uh, I’ve thought about this, yeah,”
“Hmm, good,” he mumbled before finally latching his lips on yours, keeping your face close with his hand.
His lips were rougher that you imagined, probably from constantly licking them for most of the night. But the more you kissed, your mouths opening and closing with each other like its own dance, the more wet and lustful it became. You could feel your body begin to relax into his, melting into the warmth. His confidence only grew with the soft moans escaping your mouth, quickly slipping his tongue inside when your lips parted, exploring your mouth with vigour and purpose.
Your breath hitched in response, using your own tongue to match his movements and tangling it with his, fighting for dominance you were sure he was going to win. Your fingers ran through his hair, tugging at the short curls at the base of his neck, smiling when he groaned into your mouth. You beamed at him when you finally pulled away, a string of spit connected your lips.
“This seems more than just a lap dance,” you let out a shaky sigh, resting your forehead against his.
He chuckled, using his hands to bring your hips closer to his crotch, your dress rolling further up around your waist.
“Then what are you waiting for,” he said cockily, leaning back on his forearms, looking back at you expectantly.
You let out a breath, readjusting yourself on his lap before moving your hips slowly. Your pussy barely made contact with his now hard cock poking through his jeans, teasing it ever once in a while when your panties brushed the tent. You smirked, despite not knowing what the hell you were doing, it seemed like you were doing a decent job.
“Don’t get to cocky princess,” he groaned, squeezing your waist tightly, “You forget that I’m the one in charge here,”
You bit your lip, muttering a soft sorry.
He hummed, nudging his nose with yours, “Let me help you then,” 
He grasped your hips, pulling your it closer to his crotch, grinding it against your core. You let him guide you with his hands, following his lead supporting yourself with your own hands clutching on to his shoulder.   
He let out a long sigh, his head falling back. You took that as the queue to grind faster, enjoying the effect you had on him with such a simple movement. Your confidence grew with the noises escaping his throat along with the occasional praise only fueling your need.
In a rush of the moment, you moved your hands to the back of his neck, pulling him into a needy kiss. It was much more sloppier and messier than the previous one, your focus more on moving your hips than keeping your lips in sync with his.
But you wanted more. As much as you enjoyed Peter’s eyes trailing your body, his hands exploring your waist and the angelic look on his face, you couldn't help but wonder if it stopped there. If you could make his moans louder, his hips jut against your with need, just as much as you needed him.
After a few more moments, an idea popped into your head with the faint sound of music coming from downstairs.
“Peter,” you decided to purr in your ear, biting your lip when his eyes fluttered open, dark and filled with lust.
“Yes princess,” He cooed, moving his hands back to your waist while keeping eye contact, brushing his lips over yours. But before he could fully kiss you, you pulled away, giggling at the little whine he let out.
“What is it?” he pouted, rolling his eyes when you didn’t respond, only biting your lip in thought. He grabbed your jaw, focussing your gaze back on him, “You were being such a good girl, what happened hmm?”
“I- I have an idea,” you gulped, the confidence you felt seconds ago melting away under his stare, “Do you have a speaker?”
He nodded his head, pointed to a desk in the corner with a small black speaker sitting on top. You smirked, hopping off his lap and running to the box. Peter leaned back on hands, watching with curious eyes as you pulled out your phone from your jacket pocket, tapping it open and typing in your password.
“What’s going through that head of your princess,” he mumbled, but loud enough for you to hear.
You only giggled in response, playing around with the speaker to turn in on. After a few more seconds of fiddling, you spun around with your phone in hand and a teasing smile on your face. Your finger pressed down on the screen, the room filling with the song Love Is A Bitch by Two Feet.
He scoffed, “And here I am thinking you were just an innocent little thing,” 
You bit your lip, looking down shyly and placing your phone on the table, your back facing him, “I just wanted to set the mood,”
“Was grinding down on me not enough?” he teased, “Are you always this greedy?”
You let out a breath before turning around, your heart practically beating out of your chest, “Only with you,”
You glanced up at the brunette face, nervous that maybe you took it too far. It was just a simple lap dance, nothing more and nothing less and you should've kept it that way. But the kiss was addicting, keeping you in a daze where all you wanted was more. More of his touch, his mouth, his taste.
You’ve wanted him for so long and now that you dipped your toes in the waters, you wanted to dive in and never come out. What really kept you going was his reactions to your touch, the small grunts and moans escaping his mouth because of you. He wanted this as much as you did or else he would’ve shut you down by now, right?
You were just getting ahead of yourself.
“Come here Y/n,” he almost growled, his eyes never leaving you while you shuffled your way between his legs, yelping when he gripped your waist and pulled you back down. Instead of straddling his waist, he moved you so your legs were on either side of his left thigh.
You went to speak but the gripped your jaw with his forefinger and thumb, forcing your eyes on him.
“You never fail to surprise me princess,” he whispered, his free hand trailing up your waist, brushing past your breasts, “I thought I had to treat you like a good girl, take my time with you” he chuckled darkly, “Turns out you need this just as much as I do, my greedy, desperate little thing,”
You bit your lip, tucking your head in the crook of his neck to avoid his stare. The pet names he gave you was already enough to leave you a mess but adding ‘my’ in front of it made you melt. You wanted to be his, you wanted him to take control of your body and use you as he pleased. He adjusted his thigh, having it bump against your clothed pussy. Heat rose to your face when you let out a small whimper, settling back on his leg, craving the friction but you didn’t move, waiting for specific instructions.
“You weren’t so shy before, what happened?” he kissed the shell of your ear, “Go on princess, ride my thigh like the desperate whore I know you are,” 
Without thinking you began to grind your pussy along his thigh, your face growing hotter when you felt the wetness seep on to his jeans. Peter kept his hands on your waist, keeping your movements at his own past, occasionally bouncing his leg, enjoying the little whines you let out. When you started moving faster, he knew you were nearing your high.
“Princess, look at me,” he grunted,“I want to see that pretty face when you cum,”
You let out a shaky sigh, pulling your head up to face him but you could barely keep your head up, too concentrated on moving your hips against the rough fabric of his jeans. He quickly recognised this and wrapped his hand around your throat, squeezing lightly to get some of your attention. 
“Peter,” you whimpered, near to tears with how close you were to climaxing, “Peter please,”
“What is it princess? You want to cum? Is that it?”
You nodded quickly, “Please,”
“Go ahead princess,” he grinned, smashing his lips against your to swallow your moans as you came on his thigh, your hips moving in slow strokes to prolong the feeling. You pulled away after a few moments of feverish kissing, your arms falling limp around his shoulders.
“Fuck,” you sighed, your forehead falling against his with the breathless laugh, “That was-”
“Great? Amazing? The best experience of your life?” he laughed, falling back against the mattress, pulling you down with him. You giggled, shoving your face in his neck and inhaling his comforting scent.
“Yeah,” you turned your head to face him, pouting when a piece of his hair fell in front of his stunning eyes. You moved it out of his face, kissing his nose in the process, “I liked it a lot,”
“That’s good, that’s good,” he whispered, tightening his arms around you.
All of a sudden you felt something poke at the inside of your thigh. It took you a few moments to realise that he was hard and was probably aching to get off at this point in the night. 
“Do- do you want me to help?” you said shyly, sitting up on your hands to fully face him.
“You don't have to princess,” his hands passed up and down your waist, “Seeing you fall apart from my thigh is all I needed tonight,”
The twitch of his eye and dryness of his lips told you otherwise. 
“Are you sure?” you bit your lip, moving your hand slowly down to his hard on, “because I don’t mind helping Petey,”
You didn’t know where the nickname came from but it was too late to take it back. Judging by the dark look in his eyes and the almost cynical look on his face he didn’t mind.
“You want to help me princess? Are you sure you know what you’re in for?”
You shook your head eagerly, “Just tell me what you want,”
“And what if i want you to suck my cock?”
“I would do it,”
“Do what?”
“Su- suck your cock,” you replied bashfully looking down at your hands now intertwined on his stomach.
“Aww, is my princess getting shy?” he fake pouted, “After getting off on my thigh like a slut, you’re getting shy about taking me in your mouth?”
“I-”
“It’s alright princess i’ll guide you through it,” he reached down to unzip his jeans, shuffling awkwardly to push them down so he could get his member out. You watched as his hard dick slapped against his chest, big and throbbing.
He moved your hips back so that you straddled his legs this time, taking your hand and raising it to your mouth.
“Spit,” he instructed, looking up at you with hunger, “Now,”
You hesitantly spit into your hand, watching in awe as the wad fell into your hand.
“Good girl,” he sighed, moving your hand to wrap your small finger around the base of his cock, “Have you ever jerked someone off princess?”
“Just two,” you respond hesitantly.
Peter gritted his teeth, trying to get the idea of you touching anyone else out of his mind, “Well let's make this your third and final guy hmm?” his breath hitched when you started to move your hand up and down his cock, “You’re mine now princess,”
In the spur of the moment you leaned down, licking the red tip of his member, “Only yours,” you whispered before taking him halfway in your mouth, gagging and pulling yourself back up.
“Take your time princess,” he gulped, “fuck but you could do that again if you’d like though,”
You giggled, licking and kissing the sides of his cock and taking it once more, reaching further than this time than you did the last. You bobbed your head continuously only raising your head to take a breath and going in again.
“Fuck princess, I knew your mouth would be good,” he groaned, “You’re doing so well, taking my cock so good down your throat, fuck!”
You smiled around his length, the back of your throat contracting around the tip making him moan your name. Before he could praise you even more, someone's voice cut his words off.
“Everything alright in there?” MJ said through the door but you were too lost in your daze to answer or recognise her voice.
“Yeah, we’re good,” Peter smirked, pushing you to take the rest of his cock, “We’re just going to take longer than expected,”
...
Part two maybe??
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Crossed out means i couldn't tag :(
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butch-bakugo · 3 years ago
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At this point, after seeing the nasty classist and racist shit being sprouted from the white vegans reblogging my post and the entire " holier than thou" attitude these middle class white cis vegans spout at any non vegans and the sheer ENTITLEMENT they have, im blocking vegans, especially white vegans, on sight. Im gettin REAL close to dni territory.
They genuinely believe their white asses who live in gentrified neighborhoods and live next to hipster cafe's with drinks that cost $15 a pop are oppressed. The white savior complex is insane in these poofy whites.
Anyway the veganism movement in general has fueled ecofascism, racism, ableism and classism to an insane degree and no amount of " not all vegans" and " its the message that counts" will erase the harm they cause to Indiginous, black, disabled and poor communities. You can fight animal cruelty without harming those communities the way your passive aggressive asses do. What do you think happens to the black families in black neighborhoods when you kick out the walmart and shove in a whole foods? They starve cause they cant fuckin afford your insane prices on shit that dosent matter. Ive seen shit that was $4 per apple. Yeah no, these families are gonna buy the $5 pack of 5 Tostitos party pizzas that will feed all their kids instead of pitful snack with a wax layer on it.
Like, yall realize how white and gentrified your movement is? Do you have any idea how many poor poc have to live off the McDonald's $1 menu? I can even pull up my experiences as a mixed native person who had to bring large plastic cups of nickels and pennies to kroger and walmart just to afford a can of fuckn soup with some protein in it. White people destroyed our native environment and now yall wanna play white savior by trying to " save it"?
Oh and yall are fucking liars saying that " no vegans geniuinely want everyone to go vegan." When it took me 5 minutes of scrolling through your followers to find 3 vegans who shit on people who dont care about veganism and who say your " making excuses" by saying you cant afford or cant do a vegan diet cause " peanut butter and jelly is vegan!" What are poor people to you? Middle school children at lunch??
At least yall could not be so irritatingly obnoxious about it. God middle class white chick, stfu and stop comparing the meat industry and inuit fishing to the fuckin holocaust, stop saying that dairy milk and vaccines cause autism and stop acting like everyone who dosent want to follow your diet for litterally any reason is a fuckin " murderer".
Honestly yall make me wanna go eat a double bacon cheese burger out of spite cause yall are fucking irritating and performitive.
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seranavolkihar · 4 years ago
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this is in no way the same thing you all are so fucking stupid
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dirtydancingdean · 4 years ago
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something about how dean so completely parallels buffy summers from btvs like they are two iterations of the same character. i mean, buffy the vampire slayer is an undeniably a big influence on supernatural, even if the show itself wouldn’t exactly advertise that fact. you have sam’s sacrifice in swan song paralleling buffy’s sacrifice in the gift, the borrowing of a lot of demons and (god help me) lore, the weird amount of buffy actors in the show (sometimes playing vampires, which is hysterical), the campiness and horror. hell, even cas’s moment of pure happiness seems like a nod to angel’s moment of pure happiness. (dean and cas did it better though). but the biggest similarity is the way dean parallels buffy. he’s obviously not meant to. he’s supposed to be a gun-slinging, wise-cracking ladies man, but that’s not what he becomes. honestly that’s not even what he comes across as in the beginning. buffy and dean are both meant to be heroes, but buffy is the main character of her show, while that’s supposed to be sam in dean’s. and buffy and sam do share their similarities, particularly in their desire for normality which backfires on them because of their equally weighed desire to help people. but dean is so much more like buffy in so many ways?? like buffy, dean always feels everything is his responsibility (like he says in 7.05, “There’s always something eating at me. That’s who I am. something happens, I feel responsible, all right?”). this is largely in part thanks to j*hn winchester, while buffy’s sense of responsibility comes from the fact that a whole group of old white men have told her she’s the one girl in all the world who can fight evil. both of them kind of know on some level that this is kind of fucked up and even try attempting to fight back against their imposed duties occasionally. dean says it in 2.20: “Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right? But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero?” which is buffy to a t! that's what buffy is all about! the loneliness and unfairness of having this burden on your shoulders! buffy says this in prophecy girl: “I don't care! I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die.” but they both always, always go back to do their job. they both always sacrifice their own happiness for others. none of the writers would have intended to have dean make a speech that is entirely parallel to buffy summers’s prophecy girl speech, right down to both sarah michelle gellar and jackles’s tears. because ha ha, buffy is a girl hero, while dean is the embodiment of every male fantasy about what an action hero is.
the thing is, though, when you make dean every male fantasy in the world - attractive, good with women, tough, strong, likes rock music, hates chick flick moments, knows how to shoot a gun, looks good doing it, etc - you make him every male fantasy about women too. which is how we get those slow, full-body shots of dean that you normally only get with women, how we get dean being a caretaker, dean being a pacifier between sam and john, dean watching dirty dancing and liking taylor swift, dean always being the bait, dean’s interactions with villains being framed sexually, dean getting called pretty twice a season. we joke about dean being a hot action girl but he is often objectified in the particular way only women in media are. the way buffy is - in the show i think they actually did a pretty good job of not objectifying buffy. but there are times where they do, and it’s uncomfortable, and it’s subtle, the way it is on spn. and buffy and dean are both used to this kind of treatment; they often weaponize their sexuality, using it when they feel threatened. in the first episode of s2, buffy’s just suffered the enormous trauma of being resurrected after having been bitten by a vampire whose violence has sexual undertones. when she comes back to her friends, they talk about how closed off and mean she’s being, culminating in the scene where she goes to the bronze. if you haven't seen that scene then i dont know how to explain the way she absolutely uses her sexuality against xander and angel, just like dean uses his as a front to protect himself against everyone. when buffy’s traumatized she pushes herself away from those closest to her, represses her emotions, and uses fighting demons as a distraction. sound familiar? buffy and dean both make witty pop culture references that monsters don’t understand and self-deprecating jokes about themselves to deal with when they feel threatened and their low opinions of themselves. buffy has a lot of lines that sound just like dean’s! @lazarusr1sing mentioned buffy saying, “I may be dead, but I’m still pretty, which is more than I can say for you,” as a line that dean literally could have said and it’s true! they’re both a fan of quirky banter during fights but they’re both so messed up when it comes to their opinions of themselves. buffy in 7x07: “I have all this power. I didn't ask for it. I don't deserve it. It's like... I wanted to be punished. I wanted to hurt like I thought I deserved. [...] I feel like I'm worse than anyone. Honestly, I'm beneath them. My friends, my boyfriends. I feel like I'm not worthy of their love. 'Cause even though they love me, it doesn't mean anything cause their opinions don't matter. They don't know. They haven't been through what I've been through. [...] Sometimes I feel...this is awful. I feel like I'm better than them. Superior.” yeah, that’s...dean.
and they absolutely dive into self guilt and hatred if something goes wrong, even if it’s not necessarily their fault. faith in 3x15 says to buffy, “In the balance, nobody's gonna cry over some random bystander who got caught in the crossfire,” and buffy says, “I am.” the amount of trauma buffy and dean both go through kind of desensitizes them to this idea - dean especially, i think, though that’s mainly the fault of the sheer amount of writers and episodes supernatural has - but if they get someone killed, they will do absolutely anything to make up for it.
the idea of sympathetic monsters in buffy and supernatural is met with scorn a lot of the time by buffy and dean. for buffy this is a matter of mental self-preservation. her job is to kill demons, and if she lets herself think all demons can be good, then that means she might have been killing sentient beings that could have done good or weren’t doing harm, since she was a teenager. she can’t let herself think that way so she closes herself off to the possibility of demons being good a lot of the time. we talk about how supernatural majorly drops the ball when it comes to empathizing with the monsters (where’s that post, you know, the, “saving people, hunting things, white men with guns decide which is which,” post), but when it comes to dean, part of that is because, like buffy, he doesn’t want to face the idea that he’s been killing things that aren’t evil since he was a child. he’ll make exceptions (cas, crowley, benny, rowena), like buffy makes exceptions (angel, spike, clem, oz, anya), but it’s easier if it’s all black and white. they’re both strangely attracted to monsters too, though, because part of them feels like they are monsters themselves. like @s4castiel said they have romantic or romantically implied relationships with things they’re meant to fight - dean with benny, cas, and crowley + buffy with angel, spike, and faith. and monsters change themselves for buffy and dean’s sakes – cas, benny, crowley, angel, spike, all become better for the sake of buffy and dean! like that leviathan in 7.06 who says dean doesn’t have relationships he has applications for sainthood!
they hate the idea of being seen as just a killer (dean in 3.10, “Daddy knew what you were. Good soldier and nothing else,” and buffy in 5.22, “Guess that means a Slayer really is just a killer after all.”) dean says, “[A killer] is not who I am,” to chuck in 15.19, just like buffy says, “A slayer is not a killer,” through the later seasons. spike’s speech in 5.07 i think, really says it: “Death is on your heels, baby, and sooner or later, it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it, not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it. Death is your art. You make it with your hands day after day, that final gasp, that look of peace.” their worst fear is that all they can do is hurt other people. they’ve been brought up to think violence is all they can do. but they both are first and foremost protectors, especially when it comes to sam and dawn, whose roles in both shows respectively is to be a reminder of dean and buffy’s humanity.
dawn, who first shows up in season 5 as buffy’s younger sister, is, represents buffy’s most beloved parts of herself, buffy’s humanity. sam is a lot like her in the respect that their destiny was to end the world; they’re both book-smart too, while buffy and dean act a lot like dumb blondes despite being incredibly intelligent in ways that aren’t clear to everyone. (not to go on a tangent but they’re both really good battle tacticians who make a lot of references to literature and tv shows and can perceive people and monsters’ weaknesses, etc.) dawn is dangerous to the world like sam is dangerous to the world in s2-s5, but buffy will not kill her like dean will not kill sam. you know how in the end 2009 dean realizes just how much 2014 dean has changed when he talks about killing sam as lucifer? sam is dean’s humanity like dawn is buffy’s humanity. they both put their siblings over everything else in the world. they sacrifice things that sam and dawn can’t begin to understand because dean and buffy shield them from it - dean in 2.22: “I had to take care of you. It’s my job,” and buffy in 6.14: “Dawn, the most important job that I have is looking out for you.” in s5 of buffy, if dawn lives, the world ends, and buffy doesn’t care because she can’t kill dawn. in 5.22 she says, “I don't understand. I don't know how to live in this world if these are the choices. If everything just gets stripped away. I don't see the point. I just wish that...I just wish my mom was here. [..] If Dawn dies, I’m done with it. I’m quitting,” paralleling dean quitting hunting after sam dies. they’re both insanely protective over dawn and sam - dean in 2.09: “You make a move on [Sam], you'll be dead before you hit the ground,” and buffy in 5.22: “I’ll kill anyone who comes near Dawn.” when sam dies in 2.22, dean doesn’t hesitate to offer up his soul in exchange for sam’s life; when dawn is about to die to save the world in 5.22, buffy doesn’t hesitate to die to save the world in dawn’s place. this all on top of the fact that sam and dawn are the babies, the ones dean and buffy have to take care of, which means that...no one is taking care of dean and buffy. like, dean in 3.10: “Sam, [John] doted on. Sam he loved,” and buffy’s mom in 5.05 hugging dawn and calling her “little punkin belly” and in response to buffy’s question of, “Did you ever have any names for me?” says, “No, I think you were always just Buffy.” when buffy’s mom gets sick in s5, buffy has to shoulder an incredible amount of responsibility - giving her mom her medicine, taking care of her, taking care of dawn, fighting a hellgod - and can’t break down in front of anyone because she has to be strong for dawn and her mom, the way dean has to be strong for sam and john (john in 2.01: “You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once.) they’re both so scared of opening up and being a burden - buffy’s nightmare hallucination of her deadbeat dad in 1.10 says the same kind of stuff about her being a burden and unwanted that zachariah’s projection of mary says in 5.16. it really is about the eldest sister complex in the end!!!
but they didn’t ever really mean to have dean be like buffy! buffy was literally meant to subvert traditional male action heroes. buffy summers is the male action hero, but she gets to have feelings and traditionally feminine traits too. she likes cheese and wearing pink and dressing up and having pretty hair, but she thinks about battle tactics and kills a vampire like every episode. dean? dean is meant to be the male action hero without the part about having feelings and traditionally feminine traits...except that backfires spectacularly. i mean, they give dean traits such as liking nightgowns to be like haha, wink-wink, nudge-nudge, isn’t that HILARIOUS. except it doesn’t come off that way, we know it doesn’t come off that way. so dean’s watched dead poets society and rent and he sings along to air supply and is good with kids and nerds out over cowboys, but he drives a classic muscle car and kills death and carries a gun with him everywhere he goes. dean and buffy both become multifaceted, complicated, human heroes – but it was intentional for buffy. it was unintentional for dean, so the narrative actively punishes him for it. i mean ymmv on how you feel about the ending of buffy, but she does get a satisfying happy ending. dean, on the other hand, is silenced and killed off and gets the worst possible ending for his character, all because they couldn’t control him.
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2000dragonarmy · 3 years ago
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When you get this you have to answer with 5 things u like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) ♡
Okay, err, put this off cause I couldnt think of anything then forgot 🤷‍♀️ lol I'm here to try and spread a little self-positivity though!!
1. I like that I'm a good listener. I'm not great at talking (even if I knew what to say I usually mess it up on the delivery lol), but friend if you just need an ear and a solid body to show someone's there for you, I'm your gal
2. I like my hair! I dont really dress up, like, at all, unless it's for something important. I'm just a person who's always prioritized comfort over fashion (which, fashion can be comfortable, but my comfort amounts to baggy pants and a loose tee my entire life). I dont mind this, but ya know, I usually appear like this kind of poorly dressed white chick. Anyway, this is to say I love my curly hair because, even though I do literally nothing to it, I usually got this fun, soft, wild curls happening, and I feel like it makes my appearance a little more unique, yeah?
3. I love my physical strength. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with genetics, hobbies, or just the fact that I grew up working on a ranch, but I've always been really proud of how strong I am naturally without training. Idk, it's kind of empowering to know that even if you're not the prettiest, smartest, or most accomplished person in the room, you could prob still win a full-on brawl.
4. I like how emotionally aware I am of others. Everyone has lots of different types of struggles, and I dont want to degrade what someone's been through just because I think I've had it worse. I try (and I think I succeed) at being pretty empathetic even when I cant personally relate to a situation, and I try really hard to always acknowledge another person's feelings or struggles and make them feel seen.
5. I like how consistent I am. It might be kinda boring to most people (I dont blaim you), but I've always loved the same types of food, I like to go to the same places, had the same interests, etc. ect. for many, many, years. And this isnt because I've stagnated and have no original thoughts, or because I just dont have the courage to try something new-- I've tried it, I've thought about it, and I just decided that I still like what I like, regardless of what others say.
Well this was really hard to fill out lolll, idk what that says about me as a person but whatever. It was a good exercise in generating some self confidence though, I'm glad you asked 💖💖
Highly suggest y'all do this and if you do please tag me 👀👉👈💖
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1kook · 5 years ago
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late fee
jeon jeongguk x (f) reader
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summary: “Captain Underpants isn’t glorified by all the tryhards, so when I pick those books, you’re unknowingly more interested in me.” tags: f2l, flirty kook, jk’s obsession w/captain underpants, he’s a fuckboy but he’s a soft fuckboy dont get it twisted, campus boy crush jk(yes again), jk abuses the FuCK out of pet names, miss koo1aid actually writes some PLOT warnings: much flirting, nsfw bc of a lot of heavy petting, pussy eatin’, a lil dirty talk, very s l i g h t coochie sniffing, BUT!!! protected sex :) wc: 10.3k
i wrote another fic (applause) and the entire thing is based off my belief that jungkook 10000% would enjoy captain underpants books. not proofread bc i am a hermit and speak to exactly 0 ppl on here, que dios los bendiga
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“Helloooo, sexy librarian,” Jeongguk says the moment he steps through the door, lopsided grin adorning his features as he swaggers over to obnoxiously lean against your desk. You can’t even pretend you didn’t see him, his presence so blaringly consuming, and evident in the way some dorky high schoolers glance over to gawk at him.
“What book are you checking out today, Jeon?” You muse instead, leaving your desk chair to head over to the stack of new books that needed to be stamped. As you turn, Jeongguk whistles at the sight, and you don’t even have it in you anymore to retort back the same way you would when he first started bugging you. “Also, are you aware that your copy of Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants is due tomorrow? It’s a dollar for every day it’s late—”
“You needn’t worry longer, baby,” Jeongguk interrupts, and the loud smack of a hardcover against the desk catches your attention. There lies Jeongguk’s Captain Underpants book, alongside the paperback copy of Beloved that has definitely seen better days.
You furrow your brows. “When did you check out this one?” You question, checking the spine to make sure the book belongs to your library. Much to your surprise, there’s no barcode on the side, and no stamp on the inside.
Your question goes unanswered as Jeongguk jumps into a full-length novella recapture of the hot frat party he’d been to last weekend, and how the Zeta Theta Psi guys knew how to party. That Jimin fellow that Jeongguk frequently mentions had apparently snorted a line of coke off their friend Seokjin’s broad shoulders just to prove his friend had godly proportions. It’s weird, but Jeongguk says it’s because you have to ride for your bros. You try to act uninterested, but Jeongguk’s a funny guy, really, and you can only hide so many chuckles with the sound of a stamp.
He’s in the middle of trying to cover up of one of his frequent trysts after accidentally exposing himself—”Don’t get it twisted, baby, I just took her upstairs to call her friend.”—when Namjoon comes out of the back room looking for you. He barely glances at your guest, before handing you a list of overdue books.
“Would you mind calling these people?” He asks, voice soft, just as everything else was about Namjoon. “They’re all a week past.”
“Yikes,” you say, eyes scanning over the list. Surprisingly, Jeongguk is still there, hovering over you as if waiting for you to dismiss him. “Do you mind, Jeon?” You say, channeling your best customer service voice. As much as Namjoon was wary of him, he still considered Jeongguk a patron in your establishment and hated to see him treated poorly, no matter how many library rules Jeongguk broke.
“Of course,” he sighs, and you miss the hostile glare he throws Namjoon when you whirl around for a highlighter. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart,” he says when you turn back around, stretching ana rm in your direction.
Half of you knows exactly what he’ll do, but the other half of you, the one trying desperately to act like his advances have no effect on you, have you placing your palm in his. You’re not super surprised when he tugs your hand upward, pecking your knuckles with a flirty wink. “Adios, Juliet,” he smirks.
“Wrong language,” you inform him, rolling your eyes nonchalantly even though your heart is beating one hundred miles per second. Jeongguk cackles, loud as all hell in the silent library, before making his exit.
It’s silent for all of twenty seconds before Namjoon jumps right into it. “So are you seeing him, or���” he interrogates, trying to act like he’s hardly interested, but you’ve known and worked alongside Namjoon long enough to know he’s secretly the community gossip.
You ignore him, choosing to jam the buttons on the phone instead.
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The weird thing about Jeongguk, was that, although he was notoriously known amongst the undergraduates (and even some graduates, because he just had it like that, you suppose) as one of the biggest fuckboys, he was different. Not to sound like every teen romcom you’d ever scanned, but he genuinely was. For starters, he’d fuck your brains out and then make you his best friend the morning after. He definitely had a very peculiar, and backwards, way of doing the whole one night stand thing.
All this you’ve gathered from your friends, who, at one point have had some sort of encounter with Jeongguk. Dahyun’s was last spring at a club event, when he’d oh so smoothly flirted with her for a solid hour before realizing she didn’t swing that way. Which is how they become close friends, which is how, by association, Jeongguk set his sights on you.
Your introduction to Jeongguk wasn’t anything out of the ordinary; he’d been tagging along behind Dahyun like a lost puppy, begging her for some class notes, and had subsequently followed her all the way to your favorite meeting place. From then, he’d dropped his petulant, childish act and put on his macho face, chest puffed and eyes hooded as he devoured your very presence.
The next time you see him, it’s at a frat party where some guy had been harping on you go upstairs with him. Another weird thing about Jeongguk, he hated when other fuckboys didn’t utilize their brains. You assume it’s because it gives the fuckboy community a bad rep as a whole, but Jeongguk hated when guys were overbearing. So he’d taken the initiative to snatch you away from that fellow, guiding you all the way back to Dahyun and friends just to make sure you were alright. Somewhere along the way, you’d informed him you worked at the local library—”The one that does bingo on Tuesdays?” “That’s for senior citizens only, why do you know that?”—and he’d never left you alone again.
This time, he spots you in the dining hall.
“You come here often, dollface?” He says the moment he slides up beside you, instantly zeroing in on the burrito wrap on your plate. Like the little immature baby he is, his hand immediately snakes out to touch the precariously wrapped white tortilla holding the deliciousness inside, and you have to physically slap the offender away. He jumps, bumping into a girl standing in line behind him, not that particularly cares. “So, it’s fuck Jeongguk hours, huh?” He huffs, adorning his face with that uppity glare he mastered from watching Mean Girls on repeat a few months ago.
“Your plate is stacked, but you wanna grab the one thing on mine,” you point out, and his lips curl into a smile at your response. “By the way, your book is past due.”
At this he gasps, all real, no Regina George effects added. “You’re lying,” he chokes, switching his plate to his other hand, and you nearly jump when the muffin balancing dangerously on top shifts. He tugs his phone out of the pocket of his sweats, scanning through his remind app until he sees that his book is overdue by three days. He groans, staring at the ceiling in shame.
You nod, breezing over his inner meltdown. “Was wondering when we were gonna get the wedgie winner, or whatever its called, back.”
He scoffs, giving you an unimpressed glare. “Wrath of the Wicked Wedgie Woman,” he corrects, looking so disappointed that you don’t have these bizarre titles memorized. “For such a pretty librarian, you sure are ignorant to these literary masterpieces.”
This makes you cackle, and your cheeks flush when at least three people turn to stare at your outburst. “You aren’t seriously calling these Captain Underpants books masterpieces,” you snort. Jeongguk shrugs, and you begin to wonder if he really is as airheaded as the characters he admires. “Jeon,” you try to reason, giving him a pleading look, because arguing the credibility of kids novels in line for lunch simply does not seem real. You must have been warped into another dimension where all pretty boys are as dumb as the movies make them out to seem.
“Listen,” he says, smiling when you grow desperate for him to prove you wrong. “I’ve read a lot of good books, but nothing tops a hypnotized superhero principal fighting crime in his underwear.”
You sigh, paying for your meal, and then, surprisingly, waiting for him to pay for his. You tell yourself it’s because you want to finish this conversation, but part of you just genuinely enjoys being in Jeongguk’s presence. Gag.
“I saw you with Beloved last week,” you carry on the second he’s done giving flirty eyes to the middle-aged cashier. “Now that’s a masterpiece.”
He nods in agreement. “But, baby,” he purrs, and the sudden switch from weird, 12 year-old literary enthusiast to grown as hell, suave bastard has you jolting a step that you try to play off by pretending to look at something on the ground. “How else will you remember my face?”
You blank. “What the hell are you talking about.”
Jeongguk gives you a pointed look. “Sweetheart, you wouldn’t remember a damn thing about me if I did what every other stuck-up bastard did trying to pick up chicks at the library.” You tilt your head in confusion. Jeongguk sighs. “If I went in every rainy Friday and checked out a Tale of Two Cities, or Oliver Twist, or some other Charles Dickens shit, you wouldn’t glance my way.”
“Do people still read Dickens?” You say instead, glossing over the fact that apparently Jeongguk’s visits were apparently blatant attempts to flirt with girls. Finally, you find a suitable spot at a long, dinner table so you don’t have to sit completely alone with Jeongguk.
“You know damn well better than I do that that those wannabe sophisticated books have waitlists.” He shoves half a pizza slice into his mouth, and you hate how your eyes immediately laser in on the strong movements of his jaw. “My point is,” he says through a greasy mouthful. “Captain Underpants isn’t glorified by all the tryhards, so when I pick those books, you’re unknowingly more interested in me.”
You cradle your burrito in your palms, rolling his words around your head for a bit. Jeongguk doesn’t particularly seem like he’s awaiting an answer, munching through the mountain of food on his plate as you revel in your thoughts.
It’s right when you go to take your first bite that you finally come to a conclusion. “But have you ever considered I’m interested in you because I think you’re funny?”
Silence. Jeongguk stares at you through his fringe, pizza slice slowly going limp in his hold as he absorbs your words. Before you know it, his ears flush red. He splutters. “I-You think I’m funny?” He asks, cheeks slowly growing rosy as well, and his lips quirk in a cute way to the side, as if he’s trying desperately to hide his excitement.
You nod, because it’s true, why would you lie? “Duh. You come in every week and just talk about your day, Jeongguk,” you say, as if it’s the most obvious answer in the world. “I think you’re very interesting and entertaining without trying.”
“Thanks,” he mutters, and for the first time, you’re thrown off by how adorable this man looks, lips pressed tight to contain a smile from your compliments.
Realization hits you all at once, but you’ve long since trained in the fluid art of avoiding your emotions.
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“There’s a party tonight,” Dahyun announces from her desk, not even bothering to glance at you when you return from the showers. You hum, not really that interested in whatever is going on this fine Thursday evening. You plop down at your own desk, starting your skincare routine.
Dahyun lets you relax in the soothing motions of self care for all of three seconds before she adds, “Jeongguk wanted to know if you’re coming.”
You press down too hard on the pump of your moisturizer, sending a large glomp onto the tips of your fingers. “That’s nice,” you say, trying to play it off, but you doubt Dahyun hadn’t heard the little spaz you had, or that she couldn’t sense the way your body immediately lit aflame at the mention of him and you in the same sentence.
She turns in her seat, and you catch sight of her in your mirror. You avert your eyes right away, because Dahyun had many talents, and her best one was reading your mind with a single gaze. You maintain an aura of unbothered and uninterested, finishing with the rest of your skincare.
Just when you think you’re safe, Dahyun pounces.
“Y’know,” she says, and you can hear the grin in her voice. “He hasn’t slept with anyone in almost a month. In fuckboy time, that’s the equivalent of two years.”
You roll your eyes, putting away your products before trying to busy yourself with anything else. “He probably has, but with people who know how to keep their mouths shut.”
Faintly, you hear Dahyun’s chair scrape against the carpet, and then suddenly she has you in a headlock. “Admit you like Jeongguk or I will throw your toothbrush into the toilet on the third floor.”
You choke, grappling her arms in an attempt to pry her off. “No,” you huff, switching tactics to tangle a hand in her silver locks. “Why would I confess to something that isn’t true?”
She shrieks when you give a sharp tug, sending her careening sideways against the foot of your bed, but not without taking you with her. “You are lying to yourself and to the entire librarian community, you sick fuck.”
You snort. “The fuck does Namjoon have to do with this?”
“He told me Jeongguk’s been bringing you Starbucks.”
Her reveal has you halting in your tracks, cheeks flushing at being exposed. “That gossiping fuck,” you seethe, finally loosening your grip on your friend. Somehow, you’ve ended up sprawled on the floor of her side of the room, nestled into the stupidly fluffy carpet she thrifted. She rolls onto her belly, propping herself up on her elbows to narrow her eyes at you.
“So it’s true,” she sighs. You shrug. “Well,” she claps her hands together. “Shimmy into that sexy dress from Windsor, we’re going out.”
You groan, rolling over in metaphorical agony. “Dude, I just washed my face. No way in hell, I’m putting on makeup now.” She considers your point for negative three seconds.
“The Glow Kit is in my bottom left drawer,” she announces right as she exits the room with her towel and shower essentials in hand.
The Glow Kit is in fact in Dahyun’s drawer, which is a little suspicious considering it’s the same one you thought you lost three months ago. Nonetheless, it never lets you down, and by the time you’re done with your makeup, you’re looking like a shimmering, little succubus in the hot dress from Windsor.
Normally, you and your self-esteem were rivals; never on the same page, always bickering, sworn enemies from birth. But right now, as you admire yourself in the closet mirror, you can’t help but marvel at how good you look in the slightly loose dress.
“Damn,” Dahyun says as soon as she returns, all fluffy in her towel. “You will fuck tonight, or else.”
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“Hey, baby,” Jeongguk smiles at you the moment you walk in, hooded eyes raking over your body in an agonizingly slow manner. Dahyun chooses then to do her party trick—disappearing without a word.
“Hi…” you respond, voice meek in this party setting. There’s more people than you anticipated, which is weird because it’s a Thursday and surely some of these people have morning classes. You can’t comment, though, because you’re here knowing damn well you have an eight am tomorrow.
The music is blasting, so loud you can feel the bass shaking the floor, sending jolts up from your toes to your head with every beat. There’s people in every crevice of this household, some even taking refuge on the staircase leading up to the bedrooms. Someone brushes by you, and you instinctively step closer to the wall to avoid being in the way. You should have known Jeongguk would follow.
He ducks down to shout into your ear. “Wasn’t sure if you were coming tonight,” he tells you, right as one of his friends rushes by, thrusting a cup into his hand that Jeongguk doesn’t even stop to question. He takes a sip, then offers you some.
“Dahyun didn’t wanna come alone,” you lie, tentatively sipping from his cup only to realize it’s worse than any alcohol here: it’s Sprite. Jeongguk seems amused by your subtle disgust, immediately taking the cup back. You send out a light prayer for his stomach and his skin. “Aren’t you supposed to be out pulling hoes or something?” You say, trying to go for teasing and playful but missing by a mile.
Jeongguk grins. “Why would I do that when the only girl I want is right here,” he motions, and then does that cliche move where he places a hand by the wall behind you. The worst thing is, even though Jeongguk seems intent on pulling every cheesy act known to mankind, your heart actually races.
“Shut up,” you laugh, “you just like that I don’t charge you the late fees on your books.”
At this, Jeongguk genuinely smiles, nose scrunching up as he gazes at you. “False,” he argues, and then leans forward, same stupid dopey smile on his face. “I love a woman who snorts milk out of her nose.”
“Jeon!” You shriek, smacking his arm as embarrassment washes over you. “You said you would forget about that!”
Jeongguk cackles, all boyish and rough like he does when he’s around Hoseok for too long. Somehow, knowing you’re the cause of that charming laughter has your annoyance fading away, a soft smile crawling onto your features.
“I hate you,” you say instead, looking up and meeting his gaze dead on for the first time that night.
Jeongguk smirks. “Do you now?” He throws back, then takes a step forward. Your shoulder touches the wall when you take a tentative step back. You give a half-assed shrug, entranced by the playfulness that lurks behind his eyes. He gives you an exaggerated pout. “That sucks, because I,” he steps closer again, and this time he’s looking down at you over the bridge of his nose, “really like you.”
“I…” you trail off, too hypnotized by the pink tongue that swipes across his lips as he gazes at you. There is no hesitation on his face.
When you don’t say anything for another moment, Jeongguk ducks down. His nose bumps against yours, his breath warm as it fans across your face. “Y’know, I’d treat you so right,” he suddenly says, and your panties immediately turn into Niagara Falls at the newfound deepness of his voice. You feel lightheaded from his close proximity and promising words. “Could make you feel so good, baby, if you just let me.”
You shiver, nearly jumping out of your skin when a hand snakes its way around your waist, tugging you forward gently. Not overbearingly, because you know the last thing Jeongguk would ever do was want to make you uncomfortable. He pulls you close enough that it ends up being you who steps completely into his embrace. Your trembling hands find their place on his shoulders, and Jeongguk has never looked more content.
“You... only want sex,” you softly accuse, and the only reason your quiet voice doesn’t get lost in the noise is because of how close the two of you are.
Jeongguk bites his lip at your words, and you wonder if part of him is surprised that you’d so openly say such a thing. “Not with you,” he says eventually. “Wanna hold you like this forever, ___. And if that leads to you cumming on my tongue every now and then, well,” he smiles, “all fine by me.”
“Jeon,” you scold, scared that someone might have heard him.
“What?” He grins, pressing impossibly closer. His lip gives the slightest pucker, and you find yourself unconsciously leaning closer, the hand around your waist tightening. “I want you, baby.”
You can’t hide the lovestruck expression on your face as you look between his mouth and his eyes, and you wonder if he’s being honest.
Right as you’re about to throw all your doubts out the window and kiss him, you’re bombarded with the sound of obnoxious air horns from a DJ who obviously knows shit about, well, DJ-ing.
You jump at the sudden sound, bumping your head against the wall behind you. Jeongguk’s eyes widen. “Oh shit, are you okay?” He fusses, all traces of that suave, heartthrob replaced with a fretful Jeon.
“I’m fine,” you say, though you’re not because you’re absolutely dying right now. From the fact you almost gave into Jeongguk but also the embarrassment of hitting your head. “I-I need to find Dahyun,” you announce, and give Jeongguk no time to process that before you’re bolting into the crowded house like you just broke something.
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jeon tell me you got home safe jeon please
You pause in the middle of removing your makeup, one eyelash on to symbolize the mess you are right now. Dahyun is humming some tune as she does the same, the both of you clad in your pajamas and fuzzy socks. Carefully, you pick up your phone.
you im home! me and the girls ubered home lol you sorry i didnt get to say goodbye :(
jeon dont worry abt it babe jeon just happy to know ur ok
“You better be texting Jeongguk, since you failed to complete the one job you had tonight,” Dahyun calls and you curse. You whirl around to face her, and she snorts at your one eyelash.
“Be honest,” you say. “If you were the campus crush who could get coochie every time he breathed, would you leave all that for me?”
Dahyun freezes. “Well, not when you’re only wearing one eyelash.” You groan, flopping into your seat uncomfortably. “Babe,” Dahyun sighs, as if sensing the gravity of your dilemma. “You’re hot! Everyone knows this except you.”
“But am I?” You whine. “Am I attractive or do you just feel obligated to say that because you’re my friend, be honest.”
“Oh my god,” she huffs, climbing into her bed, phone in hand. She doesn’t even bother looking your way when she’s all settled in. “You have this weird idea that Jeongguk is some intangible idol, as if you haven’t seen the dude deepthroat an entire bratwurst at the diversity fair. If anything, you’re the dream girl on campus, you stupid bitch.”
“The only true thing I heard is me being a stupid bitch,” you mope, and Dahyun throws a pillow at your face. You take this attack as initiative to finally take off your other lash, finishing your cleansing and moisturizing (for the second time) routine.
“Listen,” she says, setting her phone down to stare you dead in the eye. Her voice is devoid of any emotion. “If it makes you feel better, he wrote JK + __ on our group handout last week.”
You don’t sleep that night.
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The last person you’re expecting to see at this secluded cafe on a Saturday morning was Jeon Jeongguk, yet here he was in all his delicious morning glory. By morning glory, you mean the soft, sleepy eyes that stare at you from across the table, voice so deep and husky.
“Why are you here if you just woke up?” You interrogate, settling into the empty seat in front of him. Carefully, you begin pulling things out of your bag, trying your best to not look away too long. This sight was rare, Jeongguk usually being at an energy level of about eighty seven at all times. To see him so tired and sluggish was unheard of.
He gestures over to where Taehyung is in the middle of what looks like a job interview. “Moral support,” Jeongguk informs you. You nod in understanding, before returning your gaze to the sleepy angel in front of you.
He’s ridiculously tired, eyes dropping shut every time you so much as pause for a second. He seems apologetic too, murmuring I’m sorry I’m sorry whenever his eyes flutter shut. Your heart was going haywire at the sight. “Jeon,” you say softly, and get one, soft hum in response. “I think you should go home, Taehyung seems fine.”
He shakes his head. “Needs me,” he murmurs, trying desperately to snap his eyes back open to no avail. Eventually, you make the call, packing your things up way earlier than usual. You haul Jeongguk out of his seat, him sleepily trailing after you as you drag him out of the shop. He sleeps on the short bus ride back to campus, and even almost sleeps on the elevator up to his dorm.
“In we go,” you announce, unlocking his door before nudging him inside. His roommate is nowhere to be found, oddly enough given the early hour. Jeongguk stumbles inside, plopping down on his bed right away. “Sleep.”
He lets out a high pitched whine the moment you turn to leave. “Come cuddle,” he huffs, face pressed against his pillow. His hair’s haloed around him, pout smushed against the cushion as he stares at you.
“You need to sleep,” you point out.
He rolls onto his back, patting the mattress beside him. “Wanna feel you,” he says. Your cheeks flush red. As if realizing the meaning behind his words, sleepy little Jeongguk takes the initiative to push you further. “Pressed against my body,” he drawls, his deep chuckle resonating throughout your body. “C’mon, baby, too scared to be in bed with me?”
You scoff, though your cheeks are warm. “You wouldn’t do anything anyway, you’re half asleep.”
Jeongguk shrugs, lips quirking to the side as he motions to his side again. “So? Can tell you like it slow anyway,” he grunts, before sitting up and shuffling to the edge of the bed and assuming a sitting position. Without warning, he catches your wrist in his hand and tugs you between his spread thighs.
He’s more awake than he’s been all morning, and part of you is happy but the other is anxious. God, was this boy dangerous.
“You’re half asleep, Jeon,” you say, trying to diffuse the sudden sexual tension. Jeongguk smiles up at you.
“Cmon, baby,” he exhales, and one fluid tug has you plopping onto his thigh. You startle at the sudden change, grabbing onto his shoulders for support. All he does is laugh some more, nuzzling his face against your neck as your heart goes into panic mode. “Bet I could get in so deep,” he murmurs, breath tickling your neck and you feel your legs turn to jelly.
“G-Gguk,” you try to warn, but it ends up sounding more like a plea. For what, you’re not entirely sure.
A sudden kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulder has your spirit ascending into another plane. Jeongguk smiles at your pliant body. “Look at you,” he continues, kissing down your neck until your body is physically quivering. “So sensitive. No one ever touched you like this before, doll?”
You shake your head no, and nearly jump out of your own skin when a hand clasps onto the inside of your thigh. “Jeon, we shouldn’t…” you choke out, even though your traitorous hand clamps down on his and pushes it closer to where you need him most.
“We shouldn’t?” He teases, and then cups your sex.
You transcend.
Jeongguk laughs, airy chuckles fanning across your jaw. “Then stop,” he tells you, the both of you watching as your hips unconsciously grind into his palm. Even when you tell yourself you need to stop, your body feels heavenly being touched by him, so you physically can’t.
“I can’t,” you reiterate, and muffle a moan against the side of his face when he presses a finger down on where he knows your clit is hiding. The thin leggings you’d worn did nothing to spare you.
“God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he sighs, watching you work yourself on his hand. He traces his index finger over the seam of your leggings, where your folds meet and you moan again. “You gonna let me finish you off, princess? Gonna let me finger your tight little pussy until you cry? But I bet you’d make the prettiest noises if I licked you down there. Or are you gonna cum in your panties like this?”
All the different ideas he stuffs into your brain are overwhelming, especially when the only thing you really want is to be stuffed with his fingers and cock. “J-Just do it,” you beg.
“Do what?” He plays, watching the way your face contorted with every brush against your mound.
“Whatever you want,” you cry, biting down on your fist to stop any more noises from spilling out.
Jeongguk smiles, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. Such a simple gesture, but it has your stomach somersaulting. God, you needed this. You were practically sobbing for his dick, which was embarrassing in itself, but actually getting dicked down sort of cancelled it out. PEMDAS or whatever. 
Just as his hand creeps to the hem of your leggings, there’s a rattle of the doorknob, and you jump. The cloud of lust that had engulfed you two fades away and you’re suddenly aware of the jingling of a key outside.
“What the fuck,” Jeongguk whisper-shouts, looking absolutely scandalized that his roommate is coming home at this moment of all moments.
“Should I hide?” You whisper back, never having been in such a situation before. Jeongguk looks at you like you’re stupid.
“Just,” he sighs, standing up. He ruffles his hair anxiously. “Just… act natural.”
You sit perfectly still. “Not like a Sim!!”
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“Captain Underpants and the Invasion of the Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies from Outer Space (and the Subsequent Assault of the Equally Evil Lunchroom Zombie Nerds),” you read, gasping for breath by the end of it. Jeongguk beams at you. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“Nope,” Jeongguk says, leaning over the counter and watching as you scan his book under his name. “I’ll let you know how it is.”
You roll your eyes, writing down the return date on a piece of paper you stuff inside. “Please do, I’m absolutely dying to read this book.”
You hand the book over to Jeongguk, and try to ignore the way he stares at you for a second too long. Namjoon chooses this exact moment to take his lunch break, sauntering off whistling the the Angry Birds tune.
Right before Jeongguk can jump into an interrogation, the door swings open and Jisoo from your sociology elective saunters in, carrying the same mountain of books you had checked out for her two weeks ago.
“___, hi!” She exclaims right away. She, too, was infected with the same bimbo disease as Jeongguk, the one where they both had no concept of being quiet in a library.
“Hi,” you greet back, immediately standing to take the books from her. “Did you actually read through all of these?” You ask, trying to make polite small talk. You’re not particularly close to her, but it’d be rude to act like you didn’t know her.
She laughs at your comment. “Oh god, no. I just open random pages and reference them for essays,” she admits.
You try to make more small talk with her as you scan through her books, but the girl literally almost hit the material limit, which is fifty books, so you soon become consumed in scanning the barcode, briefly flipping through the book for any damage, and then repeating it all over. You’re not surprised when she drifts away, and you’re mentally cursing Namjoon for going on break now of all times.
It’s about ten minutes later when you’re all done, the computer’s library system going haywire on you, the same way it had when she first checked out all these books. You look away from the screen, standing to face Jisoo, only to find she’s drifted to the other end of the welcome desk, where a certain someone had gone to while you served her.
Oh.
You’re not anticipating the wave of jealousy that hits you watching gorgeous, smart Jisoo talk to Jeongguk. She matches him perfectly, both so beautiful it hurts. It’s when she says something to him that you snap out of it. “When can I come over again?” Soft enough that you wouldn’t have heard if you hadn’t been paying attention.
Jeongguk’s toying with a bookmark stand, but you still see the quirk of his lips on his face when she says that.
All you can do is watch from the sidelines, so close yet somehow miles away as he says something back to her that gets drowned out by the thundering of your heart. You suppose it’s only natural for a guy like Jeongguk to flirt with girls, and he’d never said he only, exclusively wanted you. Really, you shouldn’t be as surprised.
But you are.
You’re surprised and, dare you say it, discouraged by the scene. He’d been so eager to finally win you over the other night, so much so that he made you feel special with every word he uttered and every look he gave you. You’d almost believed in his sincerity, but seeing him so easily converse with Jisoo about whatever past they have, served as a cold reminder that you and Jeongguk believe in two completely different relationship styles.
So you sit back down, gnawing on your lip as you try to do other duties, clicking around uselessly on your computer until eventually, Jisoo wanders back.
“Am I all set?” She smiles, and you can’t even find it in you to dislike her. You plaster on your best customer service smile, nodding and handing her back her library card. She thanks you three times over for the hassle, before waving goodbye to you and Jeongguk.
When the door falls shut behind her, you immediately drop the facade, though Jeongguk doesn’t seem to notice. “Whew. She left a lot of work for you,” he laughs, eyeing the big stack beside you. You don’t even bother responding, as, at that moment, Namjoon returns from his lunch break.
(How convenient! You swear this fucker had a sixth sense for knowing when work was about to become hard.)
“Joon, I’m taking my break now,” you announce, and Namjoon stares at you like a deer in headlights, the last bite of a sandwich raised to his mouth.
“Uh,” he says, 140 IQ and all. He glances behind you at Jeongguk, who also is confused as all hell. “Okay, then.”
“___?” Jeongguk questions. You stalk off, pushing the gate away from the desk before bursting into the employee break room right across from it.
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You cry the moment you get home, and Dahyun jumps ten feet out of her bed in shock. Her girlfriend, Momo, is sitting on the floor painting her toes. “Oh no,” she cries, sweet and understanding in all the ways Dahyun wasn’t. “My poor baby, what’s wrong?” She asks, waddling over in the my-nail-polish-hasn’t-dried-yet way to hug you.
“He was flirting with another girl,” you sob, dropping your bag by the door as Momo continues fawning over you, wiping your face with tissues. Dahyun gets out of bed, cracks her fingers, and promptly announces:
“I’m gonna kill him.”
Initially, you would have let her. But after a while you manage to calm down, loud Kim Kardashian sobs fading into tiny hiccups as the two of them coddle you. You tell them all about what terrible, good for nothing Jeongguk did, and in true female solidarity, they vow to kick his ass for you. Eventually, you settle on not whooping his ass, just cutting any romantic notions with him off to avoid further heartbreak. After all, you were kinda friends before you had your little crush revelation.
It’s later in the night when you announce you maybe got 2% over him, which the girls count as an absolute win, but then Jeongguk texts you and they groan at the way you jump for your phone.
jeon hey can we talk ? jeon did I do something wrong today? jeon felt like u were mad at me lol, and then u took a really long break and I had to leave for class so I didn’t even get to see u again jeon just wanna know if everything is ok
You read through the messages a couple times, and wonder if he’s being serious and didn’t see anything sus with his actions, or if he’s just toying with your emotions. Momo tugs Dahyun away to give you some sort of privacy, and then you’re left alone in your thoughts.
you everything’s fine ! you I just wasn’t feeling well lol
He responds right away.
jeon please don’t lie to me ___ jeon I know what you’re probably thinking and I just want to say it’s not like that
For some reason, him saying he knows you enough to know your thoughts irritates you. He obviously didn’t know shit about you if he was out here making you look like a clown. Your fingers type before you can even think.
you lmao you thats funny
jeon ?
you you most def do not know what I’m thinking so please just take my word when I say I felt sick
jeon lmao. what do you mean...
you you barely know ME besides the fact I work @ the library and dorm w Dahyun. don't say u know what I’m thinking, bc that would imply you know me on a closer level which you don’t
jeon ok seriously what's up with you?  jeon im trying to make sure ur okay but ur just being difficult as fuck
you I’m not being difficult I’m just being real
jeon ur not tho, ur being defensive for no reason at all
you so? we’re barely friends and we barely know each other, how I feel is none of ur business
jeon lmfaoooo, so now we’re barely friends?
you thats what I said didnt I
You set your phone aside when you don’t immediately see the texting dots appear, assuming your dry response is probably enough to ward Jeongguk off. Your face feels warm, and you’re not sure if it’s from frustration or anger, but you guess it’s both. You’re not sure what set you off, the fact Jeongguk wants to act like he knows you, as if he wasn’t just chasing after you for some pussy, or the fact he wanted to act like some all-knowing being when it came to your feelings.
Eitherway, you’re extremely heated, grinding your teeth together when five minutes pass and he hasn’t texted you back. As if sensing the tension, Momo and Dahyun abruptly announce that they’re going to the ice cream place down the street, offering to bring something back to which you decline.
They leave, the heavy door slamming shut behind them. You get exactly two seconds of peace and quiet before your phone starts going off like crazy, all from Jeongguk.
jeon you’re starting to piss me off jeon drop the attitude baby. jeon bc I can be just as mean as u jeon and I won’t hesitate to make you cry
You blink. Every ounce of your body that had been consumed with an unknown anger slowly fades away as you stare wide eyed at Jeongguk’s messages. This was nothing like the Jeongguk you knew; he was soft and playful. He never raised his voice at you, and he’d never been anything less than a sweetheart.
you I don’t have an attitude
Is your feeble reply, too scared to reply to any other part of his message because you truly had no experience with this Jeongguk.
jeon so then put your big girl pants on and tell me what’s wrong jeon enough w this other shit
You sigh, snuggling into your covers as you absentmindedly tap the back of your phone.
you nothing is wrong
He doesn’t reply for a couple minutes again, but Dahyun sends you a text letting you know her and Momo decided to go to an event on the other side of campus, and telling you not to wait up. You reply back a simple ok right as Jeongguk responds.
jeon ok. so let me tell you what’s wrong then jeon you’re mad bc I was speaking to Jisoo today and she asked abt coming over jeon she comes over all the time jeon bc she is my roommates girlfriend
Your mind goes blank.
How embarrassing to have your mind read word for word, even more so when apparently, your worries weren’t even plausible. God. Instantly you feel stupid, replaying today’s entire scene and trying desperately to find something to catch Jeongguk in a lie. But other than asking that one question, there had been no other interesting talk between the two.
Your phone pings again, and you scramble to type a response, only to freeze at the words on the screen
jeon what blows me is that i don’t even owe u shit especially not an explanation jeon u don’t give 2 flying fucks about me. U just like the attention I give u and watching me make a fool of myself for u jeon I bend over backwards chasing after you, trying to get you to notice me, but you’ve done nothing to show me u feel the same jeon but you’re the one allowed to get mad when I speak to other girls? like u said “ that’s funny ”
Oh, no. Immediately your heart comes crashing down, and your fingers tremble as you watch Jeongguk slip away right before your eyes.
you Jeongguk you it’s not like that please you I like you so much, it’s just hard for me to
jeon to what? Get over your stupid stereotype of me?? jeon lmfao. Yeah that must be sooo hard jeon it’s whatever tho bc I had one of u too jeon my dream girl
This is not what you expected when he said he’d make you cry.
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“Honey, you just have to talk to him,” Momo says the next morning, pressing a cucumber slice onto your eyes. You flinch at the initial iciness, but then relax when she brushes your hair out of your face. You’d gone to sleep a wreck, crying and sobbing as you thought desperately on how to win Jeongguk back, but everything he had said was true.
You’d done nothing but reject him since the beginning, had only just begun treating him as a friend, yet you instantly placed the blame on him at the first signs of trouble. God, he was right. You’d been selfish this entire time, and now he wasn’t responding to your messages anymore.
Dahyun nods from her cocoon at the foot of your bed. “I’m sure it’ll be easier in person, text convos are always weird,” she tries to comfort you. “But keep those slices on, those bags under your eyes are no joke.”
Momo smacks her calf. “Be nice! She’s going through a crisis.”
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Right as you’re about to pay for your meal and sprint back to hide in your dorm, you spot a coconut head of hair facing the windows in the far corner of the dining hall. Fuck. Faintly, you can hear Dahyun’s voice shouting for you to stop being a pussy and go talk to him. You pause by the exit, one leg in one leg out, before saying fuck it. If worse comes to worse, you transfer schools and live with heartbreak and three cats for the rest of your life.
“I-Is someone sitting here?” You say before you can chicken out, and mentally curse yourself for stuttering. Oh, the social horror.
Jeongguk visibly jumps at your voice, wide doe eyes staring at you as if he expected to never see you again. After all, it’s been a week since your little fight, three days since you last tried texting him. He shakes his head, turning his attention back to his plate, but not before tugging the hoodie of his sweater over his head in a classic self defensive tactic.
You slide into the seat, staring at the plate of food like you’ve never seen it in your life, never mind the fact you picked it out less than fifteen minutes ago. You accidentally scrape your fork against the bottom, and the both of you cringe.
Jeongguk clears his throat, hands clasped together between his thighs as he stares out the window. “Don’t you have work?” He asks, voice raspy.
You shake your head. “I took the week off,” you confess, hoping he doesn’t press for more, because then you’d have to tell him your reasoning was due to heartache.
“Oh. That’s nice,” he says, and then you fall into a pit of awkward silence.
You push the food around on your plate, hoping he’ll say something, anything to save the two of you. In the end, he stays silent, sleepily glancing out the windows.
When you look closer, though, Jeongguk doesn’t look much hot than you. He’s got the same bags as you under his eyes, and his hair looks messier than his usual messy style. The fact he’s wearing his blue crocs out in public only confirms your theory.
After a solid five minutes of silence, even your hungry stomach managing to stay quiet, you decide enough is enough.
You shift ever so slightly, until you’re somewhat facing him and clear your throat; Jeongguk barely spares you a glance. “The Preposterous Plight of the Purple Potty People,” you blurt. Jeongguk blinks, face slowly morphing into one of confusion. Your cheeks feel hot under his gaze, having missed his brown eyes in the past week. “It’s your favorite one,” you announce. “Of the Captain Underpants books.”
After a moment, Jeongguk snorts, turning his attention away from you. “You’re not gonna win me over with that,” he says curtly, and your heart tightens at his emotionless tone of voice.
But you’ve done your research, and you’re not letting it go to waste. “You like George more than Harold because you think he contributes more. You love the characterization of Mr. Krupp the most, but you hate his theme song. You think the cover art could use some work, but you enjoy the overall art style. You hated the movie adaptation because Kevin Hart was in it,” you list, recalling every bit of information you’ve ever heard Jeongguk share about the stupid novels.
There’s a small quirk in the corner of Jeongguk’s lips, but it’s not the one you’re aiming for, so you switch tactics. “You hate the smell of bananas because you don’t think it should have a smell. You can’t put your left sock on first, because it’s bad luck to you. Your mom still washes your sheets for you. You know the lyrics to the original Dragon Ball series in three languages. You like wearing rings because it makes you feel like a pimp. You hate when Hoseok calls you the baby, because, according to you, you bench press his weight times two.”
“And a half,” he softly corrects, gazing at his hands, cheeks slightly tinged with red. You bite your lip, tentatively reaching a hand out to place on his arm. He looks at you right away, doe eyes so vulnerable and scared, like nothing you’ve ever seen before.
“I said we barely knew each other, but that was a lie,” you chuckle humorlessly, suddenly feeling your eyes tear up just remembering the conversation. “I know so much about you because I love listening to you talk. I love hearing your voice, and watching you wrestle with your friends, and fight with Dahyun. But I never tell you,” you bite your lip, blinking your eyes to backtrack the tears.
“And you’re right, I made you do all the work and I’m sorry, but I’m just so scared, Jeongguk,” you admit, voice cracking on his name. Your press a hand over your mouth, trying to collect yourself. Suddenly, a soft hand gently pats your thigh, and you find yourself reaching down to tangle your fingers together. “You can have anyone, Jeongguk, and you obviously know this,” you sigh. “I’m scared that I won’t be enough for you.”
“Hey, it’s alright,” Jeongguk says, voice soft in the way you’ve missed so much. His hand, shaky and unsure, reaches up to brush a tear from the corner of your eye. “Look at me,” he commands, and you do. “I think we’re both stupid, because I feel like I’ve never been enough for you,” he confesses with a chuckle you try to replicate through sniffles.
Suddenly, he’s close, forehead pressed to yours. “And maybe it’s true,” he says. “You won’t be enough for me, and I’ve never been enough for you.” Your heart aches at his words. “But that’s okay,” he assures, squeezing your thigh between his fingers. “We don't have to be right now, but we can try.”
You nod, clamping down a sob. “God, I hate how optimistic you are,” you laugh, and he smiles, cupping your face in his hands.
“And I hate watching you cry,” he says, fingers wiping your cheeks. Before you can say what you’re thinking, he’s snatching the words right out of you, “yes, I know I said what I said, and I felt like such a dick typing it, I made Jimin flick my forehead right after.”
You giggle, and he beams that dreamy smile at you again. “I’m gonna kiss you now,” he announces, and your heart thunders in your chest faster than the wings of a hummingbird.
And he does.
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“I don’t know, I think Kevin Hart sounds great in this,” you mention, and you feel the hard scoff Jeongguk lets out from your position cradled on his chest. “It’s not the worst thing in the world,” you defend.
“You’re sick,” he says, then pauses the Captain Underpants movie to engage in your third debate of the evening. You’re barely fifteen minutes in. “You think that weirdo did George justice? How? In what world?”
“Babe, it’s just a voice actor,” you placate. “No one died because Mr. Hart voiced him.”
Jeongguk splutters. “Mr. Hart—you don’t know this man! And something did die! My hopes for a sequel!”
You shush him, pressing your index finger to his lips. “Enough complaints, Rotten Tomatoes. We won’t even finish at this rate.”
Jeongguk hits play, grumbling under his breath.
Just as you’d predicted, you don’t even make it to the halfway mark before Jeongguk’s got you on your back, plush lips working yours until they’re bruised, tongue halfway down your throat. “The mov—“ you mumble.
“Fuck Mr. Hart,” Jeongguk says, kissing down your jaw like he can’t allow himself to miss a single spot. When he reaches the collar of your shirt, he wastes no time tugging it off of you. You whine, instinctively covering your chest. “Don’t be shy,” he chuckles, “here, look-,” he tugs his sweatshirt over his head, and you’re met with the strong muscles of his abdomen and pecs, “-twins.”
You roll your eyes. “Just kiss me, Mr. Jeon,” you tease, wrapping your hands around him to bring him closer. He chokes, and mumbles something about saving that for another time.
Before you know it, he’s kissing between your thighs, soft lips producing the most erotic sounds with every smooch he gives. “Can I take these off?” he asks, one lone finger creeping beneath the hem of your panties, right where your hip is. You nod, biting your lower lip hard the moment he begins sliding them down. His hands are soft as they glide over your legs, and when he finally tugs them away from your ankles, he wastes no time nudging your legs open for him.
“Don’t just look at it,” you whine, jabbing his ribs with your foot. Jeongguk grins.
“Sorry I stare, you’re just so pretty,” he smiles, and you muffle an annoyed groan into your palms. “Gonna eat you out now,” he announces, finally, and you uncover your face to watch the way he lowers his mouth onto your throbbing pussy, pink tongue coming out to lick at your clit.
The first press of the wet muscle has your toes curling, back arched. You’d been craving this for the longest, and just as you’d expect, it’s better than any fantasy. “Right there,” you moan, reaching down to tangle a hand in Jeongguk’s wavy hair, the other fisting the pillow beneath your head.
Jeongguk absorbs all your tiny reactions, toying with your clit just how you like it. He rolls his tongue around it, making sure every part has been in his mouth at least once. When he suctions his lips around it and moans like this was getting him off, your body melts. “Fuck,” you cry out, your thighs quivering around his head. Part of you wants to slam them shut, hide from his tongue and all its devious ministrations. But the other part has never felt so good in your entire life.
When Jeongguk decides he’s pampered your swollen clit enough, he gives it one final kiss, wet and slippery. “Good?” He smiles up at you, lips slick with your juices. You nod, probably already looking fucked out. He smirks at your response, and your heart backflips in your chest, when he reaches up to knot your fingers together.
He kisses your knuckle and you whine. “How many fingers do you want?” He asks, and you blurt out the first number you can think of.
“Eight,” you choke, and immediately flush in embarrassment afterwards.
Jeongguk laughs, dropping his head to your thigh in a fit of giggles. He looks absolutely ethereal there, soft brown hair sprawled across your skin like an angel. “Smaller numbers, baby, please,” he chuckles. You shrug, so he decides for you. “How about I just use my tongue instead?” You think you might love him.
He settles back down, lips pressing against your mound one final time, before he’s diving in. You mewl right away, body becoming one with the mattress beneath you at the first brush of his tongue.
“Oh, Jeongguk,” you gasp, hands burying themselves in his scalp again. He hums in response, and the sound has every nerve in your body lighting up. His tongue prods against your folds, slowly licking his way deeper and deeper into your cunt.
The worst comes when he sighs against your pussy, literally sighs, like he’s so blessed to be there. “You’re s-so good at this,” you cry out, trembling fingers twisting his hair so tightly that you manage to pull him off just an inch. He pinches your thigh in warning, before stuffing his tongue into you again, absolutely plunging into the depths of your hole.
Just when you think he couldn’t possibly outdo this, he jolts up suddenly, nose brushing against your clit. His eyes go wide for the slightest second, as if he really hadn’t planned that, before flickering at you.
To your utter embarrassment, he takes one long whiff, eyes rolling to the back of his head in pleasure.
He pulls away from your dripping hole. “You smell so fucking good,” he informs you, spreading a fiery blush across your cheeks.
“Thanks?” You say, and he grins, shuffling onto his knees all of a sudden. You mope the loss of his tongue on your pussy, but forget about it the second he reaches for his desk and returns with a condom.
He tears the foil packet open with gentle hands, eyes weirdly zeroed in on that only. You nudge his hip, and when he meets your gaze, he instantly averts it. Like he’s suddenly shy.
Oh he was gonna be the death of you.
You tug his boxers down and get to revel in more of those bashful glances, but you soon forget about that when he grips his rock hard member in one hand, jacking it to its full potential. “Ready?” He says, one hand gripping your hip, the other his cock. You nod, and then shift up onto your elbows to watch him sink into you.
You can barely keep your eyes open, the second the tip of his cock brushes against you your eyes roll back into your head. You moan, letting yourself flop back against the mattress, chest heaving with each inch he sinks in. “Fuck, you’re big,” you cry, biting down on your fist.
Jeongguk chuckles. “Yeah?” He grunts, and then stills as he waits for you to catch your breath. He gives you exactly four seconds before he’s thrusting the remainder of the way in.
Your back arches off the bed, a high-pitched moan ripping itself out of your throat. “Jeon!”
“Relax, relax,” he croons, releasing your hip to lean over you, peppering your face in kisses. You’re heaving for air, so overwhelmed with emotions. “You’re doing so good for me, doll,” he comforts, kissing every inch of you until you regain your wits. “So wet and warm for me, you have no idea how bad I wanna just ram my cock into your tight, little pussy.”
You huff, heart still skipping by the time you grow familiar with the sheer size of his dick inside of you. When you’ve finally come back down to earth, eyes fluttering at Jeongguk, he gives you one affirmative nod before he begins really fucking you.
He starts carefully, like he’s afraid he’ll break you with one push. You’re thankful that he’s at least somewhat aware of his own bear strength, but you’d prefer if he picked up the pace. Before you can file a complaint, he’s hiking your thigh up onto the crease of his elbow, and ramming himself into you.
“Could already hear some smart ass comment coming,” he groans, snapping his hips into you with a newfound intensity. You moan, trying desperately to reciprocate some movements back.
“Wasn’t gonna say anything,” you gasp, fingernails digging into the skin of his shoulders, scratching lone lines down his back. Jeongguk snorts, pushing in, and then grinding your pelvises together deliciously.
He rolls his eyes, then chooses that exact moment to capture your lips in his. You groan softly, body boneless beneath him at the gentle way he kisses you, like his entire life depends on this single kiss.
When he finally releases your lips, he’s huffing against your mouth, hips having not stopped a single time. You know he’s tired and so riled up; you’d felt the brush of his half-hard member from the moment you first laid down to watch the movie.
But Jeongguk was a gentleman, through and through. You’d felt the brush of his cock, and heard the thundering of his heart, but he hadn’t pushed you further a single time. He basked in your presence, waiting until you crept your hand beneath his shirt to finally pounce.
“I’m close,” you tell him, reaching down to toy with your clit. Jeongguk had treated it like the finest treasure earlier, but now your gentle caresses feel mediocre compared to the way he’d touched it. Jeongguk nods, the tips of his wavy hair sticking to his forehead and the back of his neck. You abandon your quest to finish yourself off and focus on brushing his hair away from his face. “You’re so good to me,” you moan, lightly picking the corner of his mouth. “Don’t deserve you.”
He rams his cock into you, the arm not holding up your thigh weakening, until he’s leaning on his forearm over you. “Don’t say that,” he chokes out, and you wonder if his orgasm is as close as yours.
A particular brush of his cock against your cervix has you seeing stars, thighs clenching around him. “Just a little bit—more,” you beg, body writhing beneath him, pushing yourself up to meet his thrusts.
“So perfect,” he praises, kissing along your jaw. “Come for me, baby.”
You nod, but not before cupping his face in your hands, and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. He makes a soft little sound of surprise, smile pressed against your mouth, and the heat in your abdomen finally explodes. You disassociate for all of one second, consumed in a wave of bliss never before heard of, his pistoning thrusts working you through it.
You nearly cry from how good it feels, throwing an arm around his neck to pull him closer. You’re babbling like an idiot, saying shit you won’t remember later. What you do recall is the chuckles Jeongguk had muffled against your neck, hips never faltering as he chased his own high.
He finds it a few beats later, the muscles of his back suddenly going rigid. He moans your name, somehow making it sound like it’s the best song in the world, before his hips begin stuttering in their mission. He eventually goes slack, slumped over you without completely crushing you beneath the weight of his muscles.
By the time you’ve fully recovered, he’s sliding out of you. Right as you go to speak, he stuffs two fingers into your sensitive cunt. “Jeon!” You wail, reaching down to push him away before you come again.
He snickers. “What? It’d be a waste to let it out,” he says, letting go when he’s decided he’s done his job, popping the digits into his mouth. You groan, trying to quell the excitement that builds in your chest from watching him suck your cum off his fingers.
“You’re the worst,” you sigh, snatching his t-shirt off the edge of the bed to tug over your bare form. Jeongguk tugs his underwear back on, retrieving yours from where he’d flung them across the room. When you’re settled into the blankets again, you’re not expecting the laptop to return as well. You raise a questioning eyebrow.
Jeongguk shrugs, nestling into your chest. “Hit play, this is when Professor Poopy Pants begins attacking the city.”
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angelvibezluv · 5 years ago
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Astro Observations 3
🌺When Pluto enerted Sagittarius in 1995 alot of movies like; Friday(1995) Scary movie 1 (2000)White chicks(2004)etc.. aka comedy parody movies were released. Allowing us to laugh and shed some light on dark themes.
Also Madea(1999) the play if I have any fellow African amarican followers here. 😉
🌺Cancer Mars people can Explode if provoked too many times. Especially when they feel personally attacked, just be careful with your words..
🌺Scorpio's know when they’re being used and will often play as if they have no idea. They end up using you in the end.. so also be careful. You just cant beat them sorry 🤷🏽‍♀️.
🌺Sagittarius Moons have the worst anger of all the fire moons, they often try to hide it because they know it's bad and can scare people. Dont aggravate them and then ask them why their mad.. just don't.🌙
🌺Aquarius Moons have specific times to let their emotions out, or even just cry. They can only take in so much that it might just slip out. It can be very shocking to people sometimes because their seen as strong people who have their shit together.🌙
🌺Capricorn Moons like to take care of themselves because they might have lacked comfort when they were young. They often had to be their own shoulder to cry on.🌙
🌺Virgo Mars Raise their voice to show authority over people, they want respect.
🌺Libra's actually get crazy angry when in private settings. You could be in public and everything's fine, but when you guys go home.. it's over 😵
🌺Cancers grow into some of the strongest people alive, they understand themselves so well.
🌺Aries Moons forgive the fastest honestly, it's like it never happened. "Your still on that, I'm over it"🌙
🌺Scorpios mars yall are so dramatic, its like you love to have conflict to keep the fire buring. It's so much fun😆🤪
🌺Taurus Moons disappear alot. Like socially. So do aquari eyes and Sagi tits..and pisces🌙
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halfemptygirlrps-archive · 4 years ago
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Polyamory CAN work (long post)
As a black, queer woman who could very well be poly, I am always looking for content to feed my soul and have for a few years now. I know I grumble about white/het couples a lot which makes me sound some kind of way but I ship a ton of white couples, that isn’t the problem. It’s the way representation is stepped on these days with toxic white couples being seen as true love that upsets me. And this is coming from a chick that lowkey ships Reylo.
I don’t understand and never will why writers in 2020 think that the only demographic there is are the people who can’t handle seeing anything but a white male and a white female be together. Interracial relationships CAN and DO work and f/f or m/m relationships or any race CAN work, so guess what, so can relationships involving three or more people and while difficult, it can work, even if the people are different races.
My annoyance also stems from Poly woman really getting shat on when writers hit a wall. Very few times have I seen it work out and that’s so stupid to me because she shouldnt’ have to choose.
I start with Wynonna Earp, a CLEARLY Poly woman with a strong sexual appetite that never gets shamed. She loved both Dolls and Doc and though Shamier left the show effectively forcing her to Doc, they still made it clear that she was poly and capable of having feelings for more than one man when they brought in Charlie. He was patient and sweet and while all three men wanted Wynonna to themselves, they NEVER gave her an ultimatum and even while PREGNANT WITH ANOTHER MAN’S BABY  Dolls still loved her and held her in bed. I believe that had Shamier (Dolls)  not left that they would have went on waiting for her to choose but also letting her know that she didn’t have to.
Then there’s my first real Poly stan, Bo Dennis from Lost Girl. Unapologetically bisexual and poly, Bo was in control at all times, both of her relationships and her sexuality. While she needed sex to feed like a vampire needs blood,she also enjoyed it and didn’t view it as a curse or burden and her partners were alwasy consenting, which was amazing. Lauren never shamed Bo (in fact she praised her sexuality and wished she could keep up) for liking men (thus not being toxic to bi women, which is an issue in the community I wont get into) and Dyson, Bo’s male lover never pressured her to submit to him. Here she is pictured with Tamsin, Dyson and Lauren, all her lovers, at once.
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If all three of them can be respectful and understanding while each of them were with Bo alone, not a quad, then why do they make it seem so hard to have three people love each other? And yes, I know that couples break up, but on Tv they just dont need to when it’s what a show is based on.
I could go on about Bo all day but I will move on to one of my favorite movies: Prof. Marsden and the Wonder Women.
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Now real or not this story had everything. It showed how slowly and steadily they grew to love each other, the highs and lows and the shame of the community that made them all stronger together. Was there jealousy at times, yeas, but they addressed it and learned that they didnt’ need to be and that they could all be together happily and that it could be easy to be in love with more than one person. Sure, it was the 40s but in this day and age it’s nothing to hide, and if they could have a happily ever after back then, why couldn’t it happen now? 
Could it be because of race? Without kidding ourselves, we know that every fandom is capable of being toxic and that it’s just fact that the black girl is often hated. I call it the Iris West treatment, where the clear canon couple is hated and the black girl is trashed for the white option. I quit Supergirl after Season 2 but I hear that Jimmy’s sister is getting said treatment now from a friend that still watches and I am not surprised.  You can’t force an actor to stay on a show and I get that having their ship destroyed build animosity, but I really can’t help but feel like had the other girl been white it wouldn’t have been such a huge issue. A Stefan vs Damon issue none the less, but still, less so. I say that because I have seen actual people defend Mon El in that fandom but saying “what’s wrong with owning slaves?” NUff said. 
Another reason I bring up why it could be race is because of You, Me, Her.
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I really enjoy this show and will be sad to see it and and while I recommend it, there are flaws, but none of these flaws seems to be that the three of them can’t work past it and get back together. 
Emma and Jack are married, Izzy comes in and shakes up their world and they both fall ass over elbows in love with her and her with them. They go through the usual things:jealousy, favoritism, hiding their relationship then coming out, but they always work through it. When Jack leaves to date an ex, he comes back. When Emma leaves to date and ex, she comes back. When Jack and Emma think about moving away and Izzy doesn’t want to, they come back. When Izzy has a thing with a co-worker, she still chooses Jack and Emma because they know they all need and love each other. They even have babies together! Izzy sees the sonogram and her heart stops. She realizes that she is going to be their actual mom and they all get married and even look into tri custody because they know they are a family and that it’s not an odd man out type of thing. They try it with other people and with just one another but they know where they’re hearts belong. It works. Does it work because they’re all white? NOPE
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Sense8 was a brilliant show. Here everyone was represented and it was such a shame they killed it. Still, they showed us that sexuality can be fluid and that a fandom can be supportive. Raj and Kala married in spite Kala loving someone else. They never made her choose and in the end, they accepted that she was poly and wanted both and guess what? The two guys even fell for each other! Here is a white, bisexual male with his Indian partners. India isn’t the greatest with being gay so for Raj this must have been stranger and scary but they both made him feel safe and comfortable, loved and supported and in the end it was canon that they were all going to be together and learn as they go. Like with You, Me, Her, the fandom is supportive of this and while we didn’t get much of Rajalagang, it is clear that they can work regardless of skin color, religion, and even long distance.
So then why not Polymarine? It was clear it tested well with the audience, haters aside, so what made them feel like they couldn’t carry on? Sure, people fall out of love, but in the show, they just didnt’ need to. Before Ryn Ben and Maddie were together without issue for almost a year. It was made clear every time that he was in love with her, that they had chemistry and that he was attracted to her, so how do they justify saying that this:
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Wasn’t real and meant nothing? That this
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Wasn’t the same?
If other relationships can survive and thrive then what is it that was so hard, so difficult for the writers that they remove the credit that they themselves paved the way for and throw it aside for something that has been done literally thousands of times? Why throw away what made you unique to fall in line? Why does a show about mermaids have to have this be the “realistic” thing?
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marauder-exe · 5 years ago
Text
Crying and Cuddling- Sirius Black X Reader
Word count: 1,7k
request: Hello, can I request a Sirius Black with the prompts 10, 27 and 44. Ending in fluff, but full of angst. Thank you! 💚
prompts: 10. “I cant do this anymore”
27. “(Y/N), why does your ex have a black eye”
44. “Don't go, stay with me.”
warnings: angsty but a happy ending? Some guy being an asshole
a/n:sorry about the repost!
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Sundays where usually spent with you and Sirius cuddled up on the gryffindor couch, sometimes watching James and Remus play wizard chess, or watching peter trying (and failing) to flirt with some 5th years. But today, something had been plaguing your mind. What were you and Sirius? Because you assumed you guys where unofficially official. He never dated anyone else but he had never asked you to be his girlfriend. It had been going on like this for the better part of a year. You'd met in 2nd year and yo instantly became best friends, and since then it just kinda grew. You knew he wasn't one for commitment, given his reputation, but he wasn't like that anymore. He had changed, He had changed for you. But was that enough? It always buried doubt in your head, im not his girlfriend because he doesn't want me enough. Of course that's untrue, but you couldn't help but think. You slowly looked up at him, eyes closed, a peaceful look on his face, you pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, he smiles.
“what's up love?” He had that cute sleepy voice.
“what are we Sirius?” you questioned, big doe eyes looking up at him.
He didn't really have a response, he had never really thought of it, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.
“Were friends, were this” He gestured to the two of you cuddled up.
Those words lit a fire inside of you, Just friends. Honestly. You abruptly shifted off of him and sat up,
“i cant do THIS anymore Sirius”
“what do you mean doll?” You absolutely hated the fact that he couldn't catch on.
“I cant do this, be us anymore, I need more than this, I need to be yours” He just stared at you, not really having a response,
“would you want us to be us?” You question. He just blanked, he didn't really know what he wanted. That was a lie. He knew he wanted you, wholly and fully to be yours and you to be his but he had to keep you at arms length. You couldn't get hurt because of him, it would destroy him. But his silence was enough for you. You got up and turned to walk, he mumbled a small ‘wait’, his heart speaking before his mind could.
“No, Sirius, come find me once you've decided if im good enough or not” You spat. You sprung out of the common room, past the portrait hole, and began wondering around the halls, it was an hour before curfew so you wouldn't get into that much trouble. Sirius sat staring after you looking dumbfounded.
“Padfoot, mate, what the fuck was that?” James chimed in.
“i have absolutely no idea prongs” He huffed and lay his head against the arm of the chair, what was he gonna do.
It felt a though you where wondering the corridor for hours, but you needed it. Maybe you overreacted on Sirius, Maybe he did want to be with you but he hadn't figured out how to ask. No, if he really wanted to be with you, He would've come looking. You leaned against the wall in some random corridor you'd wandered off to, slowly sliding down it, putting your head in your hands. You heard quite footsteps, quickly approaching. Hoping that on the off chance Sirius had decided to come find you, you lifted your head up. Of course it wasn't him. It was some 6th year ass hat from slytherin. When he noticed you where crying, you expected him to make fun of you, but no, he just sat next to you and asked if you where okay.
“Ive seen better days I suppose” You laughed sadly.
“Well I have something that could cheer you up” He said, a glint of mischief in his eye, oh no this couldn't be good.
“and that is?” You questioned. Then within an instant he had his lips on yours. What the fuck. “woah woah Justin man what are you doing?” You pushed him off you in seconds.
“Well word got round you and Sirius are done, so ya know I figured, why not take a chance with you?” he sneered.
“what? Where did you hear that?” You where so utterly confused it had only been, what? An hour or two since your fight. Word travels fast I suppose.
“Some perky gryffindor chick said she was gonna try it on with im since you guys broke up, so I figured the same” He said cockily.
“You cant exactly break up if your not together” You mumbled.
“So what do you say doll? “You cringed at the nickname, it only felt right when Sirius said it to you. You saddened at the thought.
“ah, I appreciate the offer but no thanks” You chuckled nervously. He came closer and backed you up against the wall.
“Come on baby girl, what are you afraid of?” Ugh he practically made your skin crawl.
“i-i said no” You tried to stand your ground but it wasn't working very well.
“Aww come on” He said making a grab for your ass.
“(Y/N)?” Lily’s voice rang through the empty corridor, you rushed over to her, pushing Justin out of the way,
“Oh thank god lils” You gasped breathlessly.
“You alright? Im just on the way back to the common room from prefect rounds, You wanna walk back with me?” Oh praise the lord for Lily Evans.
“yea, yeah lets go” She mumbled a quick bye to Justin, and the rest of the walk to the common room was an uncomfortable silence.
As you where approaching the portrait hole, she spoke. “So you and Sirius are over then?” God you did not want to talk to this after what just happened, you just wanted a shower and your bed.
“please not today lils” You pleaded.
“Fine, ill leave it.” A silence. “He loves you though, you know? He just has a hard time expressing it”
“i beg to differ sometimes” You two walked through the portrait hole, still a bit shaken up from that ass hole Justin, You sat on the couch.
“You alright? What was that guy doing” And that's all it took, those few simple words and you broke down crying, practically word vomiting everything that had happened in those few minutes. You where so caught up in crying and telling lily you filed to realise Sirius was halfway down the stairs, listening intently, fisted balled up. After you and Lily finished talking, he dashed back up stairs, fists white and face, angry. He was going to get that little shit tomorrow for touching his girl. His girl.
The next morning was a bit of a haze, tears blurred your puffy eyes, from all the crying last, because of that ass hole Justin and your potential breakup with Sirius, maybe he didn't want you after all. But, of course, what you didn't see was, at that very moment, Sirius was walking over to the slytherin dungeons, about to knock the living daylights out of Justin. And trust me e did. He got a little beat up in the process but he was willing to take anything for his girl, even a cruciatus curse.
You and Lily had been sat in the great hall for breakfast for about half an hour, you where mostly just pushing your food around the plate and brooding but still. Lily piped up next to you when she heard the great hall doors open, but you didn't bother.
“(Y/N)” You turned your head to her. “ why does your ex have a black eye?” You gave her a questioning look and turned to look towards the great hall door, There you saw Sirius, eye red and bruised, walking over to the marauders who where a few seats down, giving him sympathetic smiles and smirks.
“I don't know but im about to find out” You got up and walked down to where the marauders were, grabbing Sirius by the back of his leather jacket and dragging him down the hall, hearing a chorus of whistles and ‘go Sirius's. You kept a hold of him all the way to the gryffindor common room.
“Whats with the black eye, did you get in a fight?” You asked, tenderly stroking his cheekbone.
“Its nothing honestly” He whispered. You did not believe him for a second.
“right, well if your not gonna tell me, ill leave” You turned until you heard a small ‘wait’ echoing his words from the previous days. You turned back to him. “i-i punched Justin O'Donnell for what he did to you” You where utterly astounded. You honestly didn't know what to say.
“well, I hope your proud of yourself” Why in the world did you say that. You turned to walk away.
“Dont go, stay with me” he whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek “im sorry, I forever want to be with you but I didn't know how to ask you” He stared at the ground.
“I think you just did” You smiled. He lifted his head and broke out in a wide grin.
“is that a yes?” His eyes wide and hopeful.
“ of course you idiot” You jumped and hugged him, legs wrapped round his waist. And you kissed. Just like any other day, but this was full of passion and meaning. As you guy2s broke away, you stared into each others eyes.
“fancy a cuddle?” He said with a classic smirk. You rolled your eyes.
“Always” you smiled.
As the remaining marauders (+lily) returned to the common room after the feast, they caught sight of the lovebirds, cuddled up together on the common room couch, led Zeppelin quietly playing in the background.
“Match made in heaven” Remus cited.
“Should we wake them” Lily asked to no one in particular.
James wrapped his arm around her shoulder “Nah, let em’ sleep for today” They all headed up the stairs to retrieve their books for next lesson.
Sirius whispered a quite “Thank you”.
“No problem, mate” James chuckled.
“I love you” He whispered quietly in your ear.
“AWW! Thanks babe!” James shouted.
“Not you” Sirius grumbled, hearing the rest of the marauders laugh before drifting back into peace.
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sweet-xoxo-thatcares · 3 years ago
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Pan? Polysexual sounds better now
Back to guys, gay girls, nonbinaries, pan, bi, gender-fluid, and queer people.
I might have to take a recap on matches who are trans for right now,
I still have a lot to learn about what my true identity is for right now.
Because I really can't stick to just one label...
Aye, that's just me. And dating apps are starting to feel like a job, there's too many people matching with me and trying to remember names is getting a lot to handle when you're on 3 different apps and about 20 conversations going at the same time. And still 99 people waiting on you to swipe right on them, on each one. And plus I'm not as picky about looks as I was before, so I'm mostly reading just bios, analyzing photos to see what could be their interests in, and making sure I'm not being too passive on red flags when people talk to you.
I will admit, I still swipe right on them if they're trans and I'm attracted to them. I just know me, I'd rather date someone who was fully transitioned or somebody who is still on the nonbinary, before part. Only because I know me.
I had to watch someone I had already grown into getting to know and getting attached to, and then when I finally got comfortable with them for over a yr, they changed that drastically during those 3months we were separate and I had no idea about it.....I'm not sure if I could watch it happen before my eyes. Cause then I would have to miss the way they were before, because of my attraction to their naturally mixed feminine/masculine looking features and actions. So, ideally I wouldn't have changed anything about them.
I don't wanna grow attached to a voice or a face or a body that will no longer be there tomorrow. I know that person before is still in there, but it's different when you're romantically attracted to them, been intimate with them vs when you're just a friend. My experience shocked and scared my paranoia and fear of change. I remember crying when my dad started growing white and grey hairs in his beard. Cause I never want my dad to change, cause I've grown up with him being this strong man that always was there for me, held me, made me feel safe, calmed me down when I had my moments, and tucked me in when I wanted to feel comfortable. He showed me that he always loved me, always cared about me, and that he was never gonna leave me. As if he's never gonna die during my time on this earth. Seeing his greyishly, white hairs, I thought death and that my daddy will soon no longer be the fun, happy, strong dad that I've always been with as his princess. And that's kind of what vibe this particular person was to me, even though they weren't as smart, strong, or always there for me....cause most of the time my nights alone cause they couldn't or didn't know I needed them to be there fo r me like that to feel loved or just to feel wanted. Cause I couldn't speak up.
But now, that they has turned into a he. I feel like its brutally denying me to chance to not only say goodbye to them as they, but I would have to get reacquainted to HE, with a totally different name, maybe different personality, maybe different sexuality, and I won't know if I like the new evolved version of this person. The fear of the unknown is high for me. Especially when there's a 40% rate of fems that decided to change their sexual orientation after taking testosterone. I 'm possessive about my partners and I would hate to know that after seeing this person physically change and go through so much emotional/mental changes that one day they decide "Hey, I think I like men now, I wanna give this a shot. Could we make this work?"
I would tell Him, to go right ahead and go on a date with that coworker or guy on Tinder/Grinder. But I'm not gonna be here when you come home. Because to me that's some bullshit. And I've known this person well enough to know, that they don't mind using other people to meet their sexual needs that I can't possibly give them due to my actual gender and my body as such. I wouldn't want to share my partner, nor watch them get fucked by another man...because I'm not a man, im a woman...theres a huuuuuugggeeee difference.
And if it ever came to that point 3 yrs later and He became someone I didn't know anymore, because of the hormones changing how they feel as a man, dysphoria gone....I get it, you've hated yourself for years and now you're happy in the dream body you always asked for. But, I would be scared to lose you, to whoever else you decide to open up to in your selections. Cause you're that type to leave to please you and not make it work. I don't want somebody who changes their mind all the time about who they wanna be, who else do they wanna smash, and who else they can flirt with. That's cheater mentality.
And I'm sorry trans community that I'm basing my recent experience with someone as the example for the rest of you. Because I know there are some ftm's who've already changed and stayed with their partners. I just don't know if I could trust this process, knowing the effects, the research on whether or not they become completely detached to women or become bisexual... I can't.
And I'm thankful for the ftm's that have been posting youtube videos and tiktoks for viewers like me who are curious about the possible cons, and physical or emotional changes they've overcome. I was shocked the first time I ever watched a bandaged ftm, who finally unrevealed their scars from top surgery. I've always been preparing myself for this. Because I knew one day, that this cute, fluffy, soft skinned, white latino looking, but really just mixed mocha, nonbinary person was gonna be...changed over a year or so. I thought I could prepare for it, so that when it does happen it doesn't hurt as much to watch to them in pain if the bleeding from the scars are irritating them or if one day they're super cranky and obnoxious for what seems to be no reason. Or if one day they end up feeling they dont need anybody like Zanthos, with the 4 avenger rings lol.
But I'm too damn fucking sensitive. I was born this way. I've always prepared myself with the worst and the best information, that way when it does happen, the tidal wave of emotions from the reaction, doesn't end up torching my soul or blowing me out the water. Cause I am gay. I adore women, men, and when I met this person I loved them as an in-betweener as nonbinary. They are so brutally harsh, twisted, manipulative, jealous, and possesive. But I've always liked that they had these emotions inside of them that they hold back because they don't wanna seem so soft, always hiding this feminine quality about them because ideally, they're pretty looking, gorgeous eyes that can turn black cold like obsidian, and those fucking cheeks and cat nose. I've only seen the slight hips, but I didn't mind it. And they've always hid their body away even when we would try to have sex. I knew the dysphoria was there, cause again I prepared myself to be patient and kind.
So, I'm glad they're turning a new leaf to make themselves feel more confident about being recognized in society as a full, grown ass man. I'm pretty sure HE, is gonna get cocky af, cause that's just the way he was when they were they.
I know it's selfish of me to say, but I'm afraid of what will happen down the line years later. But that's just me being afraid. If He ends up not liking me anymore, I know it won't be the end of the world and I walked away at the right time when I did. Because this person is currently separated from me, and I'm still insecure about that part too. Not knowing how they are during this transition for what may become years or not...I hope HE is doing okay and not piercing everyone with their new, world domination, ego.
I just don't wanna imagine them get fucked by a guy....sorry that's just me. And will their buttery ass kisses, still be as sweet anymore?
Will I be ok with HE having chest hair?
Will I love the sound of their new voice or will I just hate it, while still missing the old, brodie, sexy, slightly feminine voice?
Especially when they used to go all soft and cuddly on me over the phone, it was soooo cuteeee. I miss our phone and text conversations.
Will they grow into another relationship with somebody else because they started to become unattached and unattracted to my body, my tits, my hips, my vagina even....just because they completely changed their identity?
And I still a woman? I've only thought about wearing a binder a couple of times, and yes, I do watch ftm and trans porn because I did like the fantasy of being intimate with someone who had a bigger clit size or just having a big clit of my own that felt like a dick.
I'm willing to admit that. Because let's be honest, boys get away with so much more shit as a male, compared to us females.
I wish I could grow a dick overnight and nobody not know I'm still a chick! Lol, but I still don't like the all over hair body growth and I still want my vagina back. Like a rental suit with an actual dick and no tits. Those are the onllyyyyyyyyy things I've thought about, but would never admit out loud. Only because I still like my body and my gender identity as is. I feel like the blue girl from X-Men could get away with it, cause she can be anybody she wants to and go back to being herself at the end of the day. And still camouflage behind walls. Lucky chick. Especially if she could teleport, oh he'll yeah.
It's gonna take me awhile to get over this, so please be patient with me. As I'm trying not to cry as I watch my ftm porn get fucked by a guy. Cause I used to be heavy into it, now I feel wrong for watching it and then I'm reminded "40% chance, you're watching it" 😞🤮😫
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tillmays · 4 years ago
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Is just Her...
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the next day
they falled asleep at the fireplace the sun was softly bright. is 7:00 am mac's phone couldn't stop ringing. he woke up saw Riley by his side and smiled then removed her hair from her face, he got distracted looking at her that by the time he grabbed his phone he missed the call, he checked up and had 10 missed calls from matty.
Mac- oh crap .. Riley .. *he shacked her to wake her up, what! ... * she said grumpy* -Riley! *he raised his voice to wake her up, he was in the other room changing his shirt, Mac went back to the fireplace putting his jacket back on* Riley wake up we have to go now!, Matty called. *Riley got up fast and touched her body as if something was missing and she let out a sigh of relief and laughed and sited back* mac just looked at her funny and raised his eyebrows* come on let's go.
on their way to work.
Riley- ahh my head hurts .. we drunk to much. *she touched her face*
Mac- i have a migraine too.
Riley- we need to stop at the gas station.
Mac- we are already late and you want to make a stop?
Riley- trust me, we need a boost. and besides we can't go to work like this. and my head hurts like hell, to be listening matty's screams.
Mac- You are right on that.
they are at the gas station, Riley went to buy something that could help with the hungover and got back in the car.
Riley- here, drink it.
Mac- Riley are you crazy, we already have a hungover and you buy more beer?!
Riley- can you calm down, trust me. this has worked for me before you will feel better. Well at least for a while. *he wasn't sure about it* -you trust me? *he looked at her* then drink it, relax. *he drank the beer and he in a weird way felt quite better.*
Mac- ... i don't understand the logic in this but it worked.
the phoenix somewhere in los angeles.
Matty was ANGRY bozer and desi were already there. the tree of them waiting for them to show up. then finally they walk thru the door.
Bozer- thank god i thought you will have us waiting another 3 hours here.
Mac- matty i'm so so sorry we just ..
Matty- save it I don't want to hear it. i called you more than 3 times you have a responsibility you know how important it is to be on time and if this happens again you will be in trouble.
Mac- and what about riley?
Riley- * she punched him in the arm * dude what the hell ..
Matty- it goes for both of you. i don't have time to play we have work to do.
Matty- today you all were invited to a wedding! *she starts to explain the case* the guy you are going to be tracking is..
Bozer- the groom right? what did he do?
Matty- surprisingly, this time wasn't the groom, its the father of the groom. *photo pops up*
Bozer- ah that's new. 
Matty- his name is Oliver Hudson. and he is about business. the man doesn't have a break from his work, a source discovered evidence of uranium thefts at a nuclear treatment plant and informed us that his team it's the responsable. It's his sons wedding, the source told us that he already has someone who want to buy it. And I need to know who. So today he is...
Mac- is going to sell it at his son's wedding. 
Matty- yes, and that's when my dream team appears, you stop him from selling it arrest him and bring me the person who's buying the uranium.
Wiltshire, England
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they arrived to this 14th century village of Castle Combe, there was a lot of people celebrating for the newlyweds. Riley was wearing this beautiful long formal emerald green dress featuring a-line silhouette, backless design, with low v-neck and her hairstyle was passion/spring twists and was styled with a middle high ponytail.
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Desi was looking gorgeous wearing this light yellow dress with a v neck adjust to her waist with a crossed nod as a detail,with a diamond necklace with this loosely hair and only a lock collected with this silver hair pin and mac and bozer in their neat black suits as always. 
Mac- has anyone spotted our star yet?  he said while walking to the bar.
Riley- not yet. *she had a drink on her hand and passed by his side, mac saw her passing, at first didn't realized it was her, he make a double take and checked her up and down, you could see in his eyes that his jaw was on the floor. 
Bozer- Nothing on this side of the room.*changed to the other room and desi was walking down the stairs and walked behind Bozer, she grabbed a glass of wine while she kept walking* 
Desi- this is stupid, how are we going to find this man in a freaking castle, who gets married in a castle anyways...
Riley- the little brats just like the bride. 
Desi- mmm, but i get it, her man is attractive.
Riley- mhjm... he can get it *Desi laughed* 
Bozer- he literally looks just like that actor that was Christian grey in 50 shades of grey..
Riley- i.. didn't know you liked that type of movies.. i thought you liked the real cinema. but youre right if i didn't know him he looks just like that actor.
Bozer- i don't but leanna make me watched those movies with her..
Mac- ok i think you're oversharing boz..
Desi- yes, but we need to be looking for his father not him, so focus.
Mac- everyone pick a floor and move we can't let this man sell the uranium.
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Everyone started searching. Bozer and Desi went together to the first floors, were the party was happening, behind the castle, while Mac and Riley went upstairs, while they were searching in an really big open room, Mac reclined to the back of a white sofa and said: - i dont think its here. we have to keep looking. they heard someone was coming to their way, that part of the place was all alone and only them were there.Riley- Mac someone’s coming. *Mac grabbed the glass of champagne he took before to pretend that he was drinking. - Riley come here  and grab your drink. *he said almost whispering with an anxious voice, Riley walked towards him, Mac did not think what he was going to do, surprisingly he didn’t think this time he just acted. Mac grabbed her by the arm, opened his legs and placed Riley between them, he pressed her body next to his, He ran his hand across her back, venturing into her skin for that little moment, until he reached her hip a little lower if you know what i mean. they were so close that anyone who had seen them in that scene could see that light, that flame between them, which unfortunately this two did not see, he held her as tightly as if she were going to leave, but at the same time he held her delicately, as if she was made of glass. they didn’t speak for that little unreal moment, they just looked into eachothers eyes like everyone left and was only them. Riley was surprised, and he took her by the arm she though *what the hell is this boy doing* but then her body got loose and she understood what he was doing, she put her arm around him and played with the back of his head, crossing her fingers thru his hair. the both of them felt a they felt a little tickle in the stomach and in the throat but they thought that feeling was for the adrenaline rush of almost getting caught looking for the secret room. the people who they heard coming in was a group of drunk guys they were laughing and tumbling on of them saw them and said - oh we better give them a little privacy.. they went to the next room making more noise. Mac and Riley stayed like that for a minute. when riley snapped out if as if they got hypnotized by each other’s energy.Riley- mac.. *she whispered softly, but he didn’t react* mac.. *she said again* something about the way she said his name that made Mac squirt inside. Mac- Riles.. *with his deep deep voice* Riley- they already left. *she said with disappointment in her voice as she wanted to be in his arms forever. she removed her arm of his neck slowly, mac reacted to that.Mac- oh yeah … they did … * cleared his throat, and as he slowly took his arm from her waist, he didn’t want to set her free.. Riley- oh i will go to the bathroom so i can use the laptop without distractions. Mac- yeah i’m gonna keep on looking on this side.
Riley went to the bathroom to use her laptop in private and she needed to see the blueprints of the castle, she starts to give directions to mac, apparently Oliver make his sells in a back room. then someone is trying to open the door and riley jumped of surprise and closed the laptop and hid it, she opened the door and for her surprise there was the bride who was really really drunk and wanted to use the bathroom.
Riley- oh don't worry, i was just living and smiled.
the bride- oh please i know i don't know you but can you please help me.
Riley- i really have to go
the bride- oh please. *Riley took of her communicator cause she kinda knew were she was going and wanted to give her some privacy* 
Riley- ok what do you need?
bride- can you hold my dress while a use the toilet?
Riley- *opened her mouth and in her mind she said -i knew it-  she raised her eyebrows and she said: yeah sure why not, is your day anyways.. *she picked up her big dress and the vail who was really long and the bride started talking and talking, Riley in her head was thinking god how much longer is she going to pee?,this is the longest pee i have ever seen.
Riley- heeey girl how many glasses of... whatever you were drinking did you have? cause..
bride- *started laughing* oh just a couple... and giggled.
Riley- great, are you done?
bride- yeah im done.           
Riley- *Riley bent down to fix the bride's dress* 
back with the team at the castle courtyard. 
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mac- hey does someone knows where Riley is? i need to know where is that room.
desi- i don't know where is she but i do know where is oliver.
mac- where?
desi- he is sitting at his table with some family and some kids.
bozer- what we do know?
mac- we have to wait, we need to catch him in the act, in the min time desi keep an eye on him, boz go see where is Riley i will keep searching for that room. 
back at the restroom 
Riley- well your dress is fine.
bride- thank you so so much* she hugged her and gave her a kiss in the chick* you know your my best friend.. i love you.
Riley- thank you, Chloe. 
Chloe the bride who was really dizzy and very drunk already forgot those 3 minutes they were in there and said to her- wait how do you know my name?who did you come with? 
Riley- oh you're not having more drinks *Riley smiled* i'm marks girlfriend,remember? the best man of your boyfriend i mean husband, and speaking of mens i think your husband is waiting for you should go find him
chloe- you know how beautiful you are, marks very lucky to have you.
*Riley blushed and grabbed the bride hands and turn her around to make her walk to the door* thats very kind of you, but i want to use the bathroom now, she said to make her leave, she knew Mac was waiting for her indications, Chloe walked to the door and she started to stumble and she felt on her back* 
Riley- oh not again.
Mac is walking thru the castle following the little indications Riley could give him, he knew he was close so he was in this library and started to look on the room to make this type of device that would work like a magnet but not at the same time to help him find the secret room, looking through the room with the device that he had made with a cocktail glass, a chewing gum wrapper and his swiss knife, he was close to finding it but not that close.
back with Riley. 
Riley- ok Chloe come on, you ok? i'm going to take you to your room. she grabbed her by the waist and make it look natural like nothing was going on she didn't want to get anyone's attention, she made it look like Chloe wasn't drunk and walked down the hallway, Riley memorized the blueprints so she knew were to go, one of her many skills. they got to the room and she placed her in the bed, as she was to walk of the room, she heard some steps outside there were three men and she hid and she saw another door and walked into this little room but she knew that it wasn't the one they were looking for, Riley put back her communicator on her ear again, and said: guys how's it going?
Bozer- Riley, girl i have been looking for you.
Mac- Riley where have you been?
Riley- i'm sorry but the bride find me in the bathroom and asked for help she's really drunk, and apparently she thinks we're best friends now. *she kept walking and entered another room*
Mac- glad you made a friend but i need to find that room.
Desi- Mac Oliver is about to leave the table, his bodyguard gave him the phone he just received a call, bozer is with me, we are going behind him.
Bozer- wait,*he said to desi and put his hand in her shoulder to make her stop* look he going to dance with the bride. look Chloe's is there.
Riley- what?! i left her in her bed.. damn that girl is fast.
Mac- Riley can you please look in your laptop and tell me the indication to go find that room.
Riley- well i dont have my laptop with me. tell me where are you.
Mac- what?? 
Riley- mac tell me where are you i memorized the structure of the castle i know where is the room.
Mac- *makes that face when he is surprised*
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ok well i didn't know that you could do that, well i'm at the library, i went to the kitchen, the wine room, and then to this cellar there is by crossing the kitchen and nothing 
Riley- that's why you are looking in the wrong places.wait you said that you're at the library? *she walked out the little room and walked to the other room, it was the grooms room. 
mac- yes, why?
Riley- there is a door right? not the one you entered of there has to be another.
mac- yes here it is.
riley- there is the room, in there is a big painting.
mac- how is going to be in there.?
Riley- mac move it. but be careful i can't remember but i think it has motion sensors. 
mac- you can memorized the blueprints of a castle but can remember if a room has motion sensors??... 
Riley- well what can i say.. im Riley.
mac- *he had this cute smiled while she said it* yup the one and only.
Riley- laughed.*while she was in the room she was looking thru the window, while someone walked in, it was the groom. she turned around, and looked him very cold, she was just distracted, but for him she looked like a vision*
the groom- oh sorry i didn't know it was someone in here, excuse me. 
Riley- no its ok, its your room anyways.
the groom- how do you know that?
Riley- well there is a bottle of whisky that says for james aka the groom, and you left your vows on that chair.
James- oh that's from my friends *he blushed*
Riley- yeah i notice.
James- and yeah i forgot those.*he laughed* Riley knew she had to make him talk, see if she can get something out of him about his father. but then he asked: so what's your name and what are you hiding in here? im james by the way.
Riley: first of all, i'm not hiding and second of all i already know your name remember* she pointed to the bottle.*he was embarrassed and blushed* 
james- well then why are you alone?
Riley- isn't it everyone.. *she said while giving him this penetrating cold stare. James looked at her with more intrigue he was really curious about her. he took of his tie and started to play with it in his hands. he looked like it was having a bad time some said that he looked sad.
Riley with just one look could see the mind of this mans was trying to get over something*- and you what are you hiding. *she said sitting in a couch that was under the window and in front of him but at the side corner of the bed*
James- first of all im not hiding* he said trying to mimic her *Riley smiled*
Riley- oh ok. you look very tense to be the day of your wedding why aren't you with your wife?...
James- mjh i don't know maybe.. because i got an arranged marriage and i don't really love her like that and just married her because of my father.
*yess riley said in her mind, she was going in the right direction*
Riley- i knew it, you have that type of look of my father is an asshole,* he just sighed and laughed* but don't worry my dad is an asshole too.
James- *with his arms on in legs sitting on the bed and was looking to the floor and when she said that, he looked up and looked at her with more interest*- you still haven't told me your name- *he was starstruck by her, he loved how mysterious she was*
Riley- das not important, i wanna know why you think your so miserable. 
back with Mac
Mac was hearing the hole conversation between the groom and Riley. He managed to move the painting without activating any alarm, the cameras of the place had already been manipulated by Riley so the image they were looking at security was a frozen image of the empty rooms. he hid and had to wait until Oliver and the man who was going to buy it came in, but he was thinking why was Riley talking with the groom and couldn't stop thinking what was happening there and why was she  alone with him in that room.
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later will post the whole story, let me know if you would like me to add photos to the story or if you guys prefer to remove them, i like to add them for you, so yall can see what i actually imaginated and make it feel real and close like watching in some way the show...¿ idk ahha and of course this is the following of the las one “i'm here if you need me”. Ik this one had little macriley, but i love to see the jealous angus. (And don't ask me how but that trick of the beer it has really worked for me lol)
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