#but i dont care i'm still sunk

[emma-ofnormandy]

Alice took the blanket with her. His blanket. The one from his room. The one post pond. The one they shared. She has it in France with her.

[trujellyfish]

pretty sure that if One Piece was managed by western marketing companies it wouldve failed miserably bc they wouldve been like

"okay it's for BOYS so toys are gonna be ugly ass action figures Only"

"since it's Animated that means it's for CHILDREN so all the apparel will be for youths and infants (again, focus on the BOYS)"

then they'd be like "we're not making any money :( what can we do :( guess we'll just have to cancel the whole thing :("

fans would be like "you could try marketing towards girls and adults a little more"

and they'd go "how? make plushies? branded home appliances? larger clothes? why don't these 'girls' and 'adults' try growing up a little and stop playing with toys or watching cartoons >:("

[cordeliawhohung]

js discovered ur blog recently and i am FED. im gobbling up the writings ur brain has created god bless🙏🏻

what do you think of mafia!price reacting to his wife being insecure about her stretch marks from her pregnancy/postpartum?

ive been so worked up over my stretch marks cause ive been gaining weight recently😭😭 btw, its totally cool if u dont wanna do this...

remember to take care of urself ya :3👍❗️❗️🔥🔥🔥

thank you so much!! and oh my god i have THOUGHTS about this. i gained 40ish pounds in the span of a few months and my stretch marks are so deep i can run my fingers over them and FEEL them and it took me a while to learn that it's natural and to accept them as a part of myself, but god is it freeing. anyway. story.

mafia!141 masterlist

warnings: body image issues, slight postpartum depression, hurt/comfort, fem!reader

You don't look in mirrors anymore.

Before you had your beautiful bundle of joy, your reflection had never bothered you. Really, there wasn't really anything you felt at all when you looked into one. All a mirror had been was just a tool. Something to guide your hands when styling your hair or to ensure you had cleansed the makeup from your face.

So quickly had that tool become a weapon.

Wretched and cruel, all the mirror seemed to reflect those days was everything you tried to ignore. The stretch of your skin, those atrocious lines that plagued your stomach and thighs; your eyes were magnetized to them every time you looked at yourself. Most of all, it reminded you that the day you gave birth to your daughter, you had become more than just a mother. You became a spectacle.

It's why you started wearing baggy clothes around the house because if you could muddle the shape of your body, maybe you could blur the crevices that shredded your skin. So when your darling husband snuck up behind you while you worked on folding laundry in the bedroom, your immediate instinct was to push him away. Despite how warm his arms felt around you with large, thick hands smoothing over your stomach, you were terrified he'd feel the parts of you that were broken.

"Everything alright, love?" John asked softly at your rejection. His fingertips slowly slipped off of your body but lingered as if he regretted the movement, and they seared as if he had dug claws into you, refusing to let go.

"Yeah," you answered, but you hated how broken you sounded, even to your own ears.

Your lie was obvious, not just in the tone of your voice but in the posture of your body. How sweaty hands held a half folded shirt against your stomach as if you could hide away the shame that ate away at you. Stepping to the side, John slowly lowered your hands away from you body and turned you to face him where you were met with the watery hue of his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he questioned, all but ripping the answer from your mouth.

You hated the way your lip trembled, how your shame crashed against you with such overwhelming force you nearly suffocated. There were countless times when you had been bare in front of him, laid out perfectly in bed or on top of him with a sweaty body and quickened breath. So why did you feel more stripped in that moment than any other?

"Do you... still think I'm pretty?" you choked out.

John's expression didn't change much after those words left your mouth. It was as if he already knew what ailed you. In a way, he always seemed to know you better than you knew yourself.

"Do you think you are?" he countered.

"Not anymore."

He had expected that answer too, and yet still couldn't hide the way he nearly winced. You braced yourself for his rebuttal, for the string of words telling you that you were beautiful, that you were crazy to think otherwise. Your whole life, self deprecation was always met with stern correction, because god forbid you ever felt a little insecure.

But it wasn't that way with John.

Instead, he sunk to the ground until he was on his knees, and when he took your hands into his it felt as if he was proposing all over again. The love in his eyes, the way his thumbs ran over your knuckles, it was all so intimate, so raw, and your throat grew tight at the sight.

"You brought a beautiful, perfect girl into our lives," he said softly. His eyes didn't stray from you for even a moment. "Carried her for months. Nourished her; still nourishing her. I think it's a little unfair to expect yourself to stay unchanged. Doesn't make you any less beautiful. You're still my wife. My girl. The mother of my child."

It was impossible to stop the tears from spilling, and they only fell harder the moment John leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against your stomach. So tender, as if embracing an open wound and healing it all in the same motion. It was so kind, too kind, and it forced all of your thoughts and held back words to dissipate in the back of your throat.

"Darling, you're the love of my life," he said in a near whisper, "don't ever forget that."

[pjsk-writin]

hshfkcoeb REQUESTD OPEN okay so hear me out (may or may not have stolen this from my self insert) but like what if reader has their own sekai but is in another units group LIKE ITS A BIT ANGSTY LIKE “oh they found their true feelings to their own sekai within like 2-3 weeks and i havent found mine after like 2-3 years” so reader pulls a mafuyu main story and disappears into their own sekai for a few days with no warning (no one else is aware of their own sekai) and like one char gets access to it probably by snooping in their computer and just sees the sight of reader breaking down in said sekai $&2@9&/$; THE SEKAIS THEME CAN BE HOWEVER U CHOOSE BTW :3

can i request smth like that but with prsk boys (separately) + kanade? IDK I SEE IT JUST WORKING could be like where chars crushing on reader too… help is this complicated IF YOU DONT GET IT FEEL FREE TO IGNORE THIS thank you take care of yourself <3

OKAYAYAYYA SO . I LOVE THIS REQ SM BUT IF I DONT DO IT JUSTICE PLS LET ME KNOW </3 i just left readers sekai up to the readers choice lol <3 take care of urself too, i hope u like this !! <3

♡ MISSING TRUE FEELINGS - Akito Shinonome, Toya Aoyagi, Tsukasa Tenma, Rui Kamishiro and Kanade Yoisaki x Reader

Akito:

The concepts of the Sekai and true feelings were honestly still very confusing to Akito, but he's happy that him and VBS are all working and growing together

The concept of true feelings was confusing to him, but he always liked to discuss the topic with you. You seemed to know a lot more than he did, for whatever reason

What you never revealed was that you've been searching for your true feelings for years now, and finding someone who has so soon was...more than disheartening

You disappeared for a few days, and Akito grows immensely worried. Sure, he had a crush on you, but he really was worried for your well-being

He went over to your house, having been there multiple times, and called your name. When he got no answer, he went to your room, and his heart sunk

He could see you, on your computer, breaking down in your Sekai. He was panicking, immediately looking for a way in to reach you

The moment he reaches you in your Sekai, he pulls you into a hug. You're obviously startled, but he doesn't care, simply holding you close

"Look, I don't know what's happening, but I'm here for you, alright?" He looks you in the eyes, his hands resting on your shoulders, "I'm here through it all for you." And even if you still didn't know your true feelings, his support got you through <3

Toya:

When it comes Sekais, Toya doesn't really think hard about how they work. He mostly just goes there with his group, and works with them all through their true feelings

He's proud of VBS and himself for working through their true feelings, and he likes to talk about them with you. You were nice company, and you never seemed to mind

You did mind though, because you were someone who had been trying to figure your true feelings out for years. His success helped to highlight your own failure

You had disappeared for a few days, and Toya was more than concerned about it. He knew that he had to go see you, he didn't know what could've happened to you

He texted to let you know he was coming over, but you didn't even see the text by the time he got there. He looked around, immediately going to your room

The sight of you on your laptop, presumably in your Sekai breaking down, broke his heart. He looked around for a way to get to you before it was too late

The moment he entered your Sekai, he called your name to get your attention. He knew you were shocked, but he stood before you, itching to reach out for you

"You don't have to go through this alone." His voice was quiet, a new noise among your Sekai, "I found my true feelings, right? I'll try my best to help you find yours." His determination helped to inspire you. Maybe you really could find them after all <3

Tsukasa:

Considering that the Wonderland Sekai was made from his own true feelings, Tsukasa has learned quite a bit about true feelings and Sekais

Besides the other members of Wonderlanders, he really enjoys your company! He rambles about finding his true feelings to you because he's proud

Although you're also proud of him, you've been hiding the fact that you've been looking for your true feelings for years. You felt like you would never find them

Tsukasa notices your disappearance almost immediately, and rushes to ask around about you. You were his close friend, his crush, he was so worried about you

He loudly announced his presence when he entered your home, but when he received no answer, he went to your room. He was in for a shock, to say the least.

There you were, in your own Sekai, breaking down. He could see you through the screen, and immediately moved to find a way to get to you

When he reaches your Sekai, he immediately calls your name in the most worried tone, sitting in front of you and grabbing your hands tightly

"My co-star, what happened?" He listens if you tell him, he leaves you alone if you don't. Either way, he squeezes your hands in his, smiling at you, "You should know that I'm always here for you! I always will be." He's determined to be the star you need <3

Rui:

Rui is a curious soul, so he's always trying to find out as much as he can about Sekais and true feelings. He always craves to learn more and more

You were someone who always allowed him to indulge in his curiosities on Sekais and true feelings, but whenever he asked you on why you know so much, you dodged it

Truth was, you had been searching for your true feelings for years. While you liked being able to talk him through his, you felt very upset that you hadn't found yours

As someone who's pulled the disappearance act before, Rui knows to immediately be worried and look for you. He's been there for sure, he'll help you out

He goes over to your house, and immediately notices the absence of your presence. He goes to your room, looking around for any signs of you

He finds you then on your computer screen, breaking down all by yourself in your Sekai. It reminds him of himself, and he knows he has to reach you soon

"I can't say I know why you haven't found your true feelings yet, but I know what it's like to be alone." He looks you straight in the eyes, "You won't be alone through this anymore." He's so certain in his resolve that it helps you to believe him <3

He manages to get into your Sekai, and he doesn't say a word, sitting by your side and wrapping an arm around your shoulders. He leads you to rest your head on him

Kanade:

Seeing as Niigo's Sekai is made from Mafuyu's feelings, Kanade is more than used to the concept of helping someone find their true feelings.

She's always looking for people to save, people to help, and she met you through these searches. She always had the feeling that you were hiding something from her...

And hiding you were, because you had been searching for your true feelings for years, by this point. You had felt like Mafuyu was closer to finding them than you'd ever been

You disappeared for a couple days, and Kanade was already getting deja vu. She went through the same with Mafuyu, and she already knew she needed to save you

For once, she left her house in favor of going to yours, unable to shake off the feelings of uneasiness as she entered your room

Her gaze went to your computer, and she felt her need to save you grow more intense as she saw you in the middle of your Sekai, crying your heart out

She knew the ways to enter the Sekai, and she was quick to make her way to you, sitting just across from you. She didn't touch you, not yet anyway

"...I'll save you too." You looked up at her in confusion, only to meet her determined gaze, "You haven't found your true feelings, right?...I'll help you. I promise I will." You're another person that Kanade wishes to help save, and she'll do everything she can <3

[allloudontheeasternfront]

Everything at Once part 2

Dieter Hellstrom x Orignal Fem Character

Hiiiii. Thank you so much for the support for the first part! Here is part 2. Part 3 should be up in a few days! 😘😘😘😘

Warnings: cursing, N*zis, angst, discrimination, Dieter is kind of a dick, soon to be smut (still in the works you horndogs) violence maybe in the future. Still working out the kinks 😉😘 I do not support N*zis in any shape or form WWII should not be glamorized into thinking what N*zis did was okay. This is just for fun, for the Inglourious Basterds fandom, especially Hans Landa, Dieter Hellstrom and Landstrom ship.

.

"Why are you so incompetent, Hellstrom!? No wonder you'll never be promoted!" Hans scolded his inferior while cutting his strudel into a small bite. "I dont give a single fuck if your stressed out. You know your place."

Dieter rolled his eyes again when Hans wasn't looking. Why does he care? She is just a stupid waitress. He played with the strudel with his fork and glanced at the girl.

Her long curly blonde hair whipped around softly as she was scurrying around the kitchen making more pastries. Her hair was half kept up in the center back of her head with a golden jewel clip. She was short for her age, and very thin perhaps due to little rations of food she could find or made. The Germans took nearly everything.

There was small freckles around her face dusting above a pink blush.

Just a stupid waitress...

Her skin looked soft and well kept, perhaps the French did bathe. He looked down her body and her waist. There was a distinct cinch in her blue dress that made his mind wonder.

Stupid...

He found himself thinking of undoing her apron. The ties where so loose, her hair became looser as she moved.

Dieter hasn't been with many women due to his busy schedule and little interaction makes me nervous when one is near. He found his face getting warm.

Camille brushed away a stray hair accidentally getting flour on her head. Dieter snorted softly. Stupid.

"My my Dieter..." Hans began. "You smitten little fox you..." Dieter choked on a breath and looked at his superior in shock.

"WHAT?" He shouted accidentally. Camille looked over startled.

He glared at the girl. "What are you looking at?" He coldly asked her. Her face got extremely hot, she shook her head and went back to what she was doing.

"Dont act like you dont know Hellstrom. You clearly like her." Hans whispered smugly. "Do you know why little boys pull little girls' pigtails on playgrounds?" Dieter sighed. What a stupid metaphor...

"I dont like her, Landa."

"Oh please." Hans chuckled, knowing the truth.

"I dont. And that's final, Hans." Dieter warned. I'm not in the mood for your little mind games, Landa he thought.

After a few more minutes the men got up to leave. Normally the Nazis would just leave and not pay. Hans set down a few bank notes for the girl and smiled when her face lit up.

"Oh merci beaucoup, Monsieur! Merci!" Camille beamed and took the money holding her heart in disbelief. She makes almost no money after years owning the cafe and years of being the single employee.

(Thank you so much, sir. Thank you!)

Hans walked out first. Camille's gaze fell upon Dieter. Her smile slowly faded, scared if he'd snap at her again. His heart sunk.

"Je suis désolé, mademoiselle. Tu peux prendre le strudel, tu as l'air affamé." He said quietly and handed the dish back to her. She softly smiled and looked up at him. He had more emotions in his eyes now...

(I am sorry, miss. You have the strudel, you look hungry)

"Merci, monsieur..." she replied quietly.

When she took the dish from the man's hand, their fingers slightly brushed over eachother.

Camille gasped quietly and Dieter's heart rate skyrocketed.

They looked up at eachother.

Dieter coughed slightly and handed her a few banknotes of his own. Camille looked at him in disbelief... he nodded to assure her.

"Au revoir." He said plainly, tapped his boots together and tipped his hat at her.

She genuinely smiled at him as he left the cafe to join his superior.

"What a strange man..." Camille thought a loud. She watched the men talk and smoke cigarettes outside, respecting the No Smoking sign inside the cafe. Sure, she'll let Nazis come in but they shall not smoke as the smell and literally everything else about cigarettes destroy her pastries. Maybe very un-French of her.

All of a sudden, another German man in uniform went up to the gentleman and saluted. Ugh...another Nazi? Camille thought.

This man was average height, a little mousey. Perhaps in his twenties, not much a rank shown. He wore a proud, patriotic smile as he chatted with the men. The other two talked with him, looking a little irritated.

Maybe the mousey man was a just a Private? Camille thought and she rolled out some more dough. Papa always said the younger soldiers were the most irritating. They think they know everything

After a few seconds, the bells to the cafe door rung again and Camille looked up and saw the mousey soldier. His face lit up in more joy, if that was possible.

"Bonjour Mademoiselle..." the mousey soldier said looking Camille up and down. She didnt smile back. (Hello miss...)

"Bonjour, soldat." She replied simply, barely making any eye contact. (Hello soldier).

"Je suis plus qu'un simple soldat" he said. (I'm more than a soldier) he kept eyeing her like a prize. Camille did found him quite handsome but there was something off about him. He seemed familiar and strange. Her friend would tell these stories of a Nazi baby solider following her around like a lost puppy, never giving her a moment's peace.

As the two started simply talking about unfortunately the mousey man's involvement in the German Army, her mind went to a paler...suspicious...taller...black leather clad man...

As this was happening, Dieter, smoking still waiting for the driver to come back around the block, looked in the window nonchalantly.

Frederick...

His knuckles went white as he clenched his fists. He cleared his throat, trying not to just rage. Fuck that shrimp of a boy. He thinks because he is a war hero, he gets whatever he wants. Dieter thought angrily.

Hans noticed his angry subordinate. "I told you, idiot."

Dieter rolled his eyes the millionth time. "Shut up."he said behind his breathe.

"Never doubt me, Major." Hans said as their car pulled up.

To be continued...

@whore4waltz @rurivu @xoxocillian @fridaycanbesadsometimes @racheljo47 @whitechoc135 @officerh4t @blueberrypancakesworld @hanslandasstrudel

[eventually27]

Do hurt/comfort for JPM! I mean when he is very very sad (maybe something about his mother and his childhood?) He’s very fluffy after all and needs hugs too! 🤣

Oh! so fluffy and needs alllllll the cuddles.

Comfort..

Comforting James Patrick March when he's having a bad day, it was his mother's birthday.

As you and James sat in room 64, you could tell something was wrong. You didn't normally sit in this room either, but maybe he found comfort in here. James held his glass in his hand, watching the alcohol swirl round and round. He wasn't himself. New guests had arrived today, and it was his opportunity to have some fun. He should have been in a good mood.

"James, what's the matter? You don't seem like yourself, my love, " you said with concern.

" Ah, yes, today is a day that brings back many memories for me. After all these years, I am still affected by such days. Today is my mother's birthday," he said, still swirling around his drink. James hadn't really spoken about his family much before, but you knew it was a sore subject. Especially by the look on his face. You knew it was a big contender to why he revelled in darkness. You moved and sat closer to him, "i dont like to see you unhappy, you know you can talk to me about anything. Talk to me about how you are feeling, it might help you to feel better, " you said while placing your hand over his.

James gripped your hand and started to talk, " My mother and father were religious, very strong beleivers, its why I loath it the way I do, my mother done as she was told, left my father to act how he did, with no consequences, he was the meanest man alive and she was his sidekick. She was no mother, she did not care for her son as she should of, Thou shall not bear false witness, but they spread their corrupt beleifs like disease, a disease which I was immune to. The worst thing in the world is religion. Let me tell you that. "

You felt the coldness in his voice as he spoke. It sent chills through your body. You had never seen James this way before. You had never seen him affected by something so much, he had never really opened up to you before, never expressed his deepest emotions, you had revelled in darkness together, you had seen eachothers darkest thoughts but never experienced his sadness, you could not begin to imagine what his father must have done to create such resentment.

" I'm sorry you experienced that James, you didn't deserve to be treated that way, you deserved to be treated with love, but this helps me to understand why you have such a tight grip on your feelings" you said, squeezing James hand. You wished you could go back in time and change things for him and protect him.

"A man only has a grip as tight as he does because he knows that if he let's go, even slightly, he will hurl himself into the abyss, but my dear, you are a revelation, your just like me but at the same time your filled with so much light, a light that guides me" James finally took his eyes away from his glass, he spoke while looking you at, something about him saying this while looking in your eyes made it have more meaning, his tone of voice, his words, they bought warmth to you. You took James drink from his hand and placed it on the table. You took your arms and placed them around him, and in return, he placed his around you. You wanted him in your arms, you wanted to take away some sadness, you would absorb it from him if you could. He sunk into your arms, and for a moment, you just sat in silence wrapped up in each other, and that was enough. You didn't need to speak to feel eachothers love.

"I'll always be your light James, I'll always be hear to guide you, care for you and love you, now your new guests arrived this morning, so let's go and have some fun shall we?" You said with a devilish look.

"Ah Dearest this is why I love you, in your black heart or hearts your just like me"

[a-writers-blurbs]

Drabble 3

The audacity of the human woman was astounding. Here he was, generously allowing the Miko and her kit to follow him, and she had the nerve to make requests of him?

When had he sunk so low as to even congregate with humans? Let alone grant them requests. Nothing this onna said could possibly-

"I know you dont care for mine and Shippos' presence... but I'd very much like to travel with you a while longer, if that's ok. I think Rin could benefit from some tutoring." Well... that was certainly unexpected.

"What could you possibly teach this Sesshomaru's ward aside from outspokenness and spratic decision making?" It was a fair question. The Miko was an odd creature. She didn't conform to scocitial norms whatsoever.

Years ago, when she first appeared, she dressed so scandalousally that, had he not scented her purity, he would've thought she was a whore. She was loud, opinionated, strong willed, and never showed submission.

She was brash and loyal to a fault. But she showed proper respect when the situation called for it. Mostly. She was well mannered, protective of those she claimed as hers, she was clean and full of various quirks.

She was an odd human. But her eccentricities didn't necessarily mean she would be a good tutor. He allowed his musing to trail off as the spicy scent of her irritation began to fill the air.

"I'll have you know, I'm well versed in geography, mathematics, literature, grammar, and three foreign languages. Not to mention the medical and first aid training I could give her." It seemed her education was a source of pride for the spunky onna, and he had unintentionally wounded that pride with his doubt.

But instead of feeling guilt, he simply shrugged and wondered where Imuyasha stood in all of this. Lothe as he was to admit it, the welp was his brother. And as his brother, it would be 6 escort the Miko if she was disobeying her mate in any way by leaving. "Do you not need to return to your mate, the half-breed?"

"That baka isn't, and will never be my mate!" The spike in her miko powers made his body break out in goosebumps. What could have possibly happened between the idiot hanyu and the Miko to cause such a reaction.

Noting the shift in her aura from anger to sadness, he decided to move the conversationalong. What did she get out of this exactly? "You wish to travel with this Sesshomaru and tutor his ward in exchange for what? Protection?"

"In a way..." Raising his eyebrow in question, the Miko blushed and looked down. "I was hoping you would train me to defend myself. I'm pretty good with a bow & arrow, but that's it."

By now, she was dragging the tips of her toes in the dirt, head still facing the ground, and fingers twisting and fidgeting. She looked very much like a bashful child aching for attention. It called to his instincts. "You wish to grow stronger."

"Hai." She was slightly put off by the sudden softness in his voice, but she shrugged it off.

This was her chance. She had one shot to make a case for herself. If she screwed this up, her last resort would be running to the east and taking up with Kogas wolves.

She didn't want to do that. So, with a deep breath, she straightened her back and faced him, ready to plead her case.

[cherry-bomb-ships]

Ruby's F/o Tournament - FINAL ROUND

Here we are folks, the final match... The explosives-crazed internationally wanted madman and the Mushroom Kingdom's most terrible enemy. My main f/o, versus the first character I ever made a self insert for. It's our most fiery match ever!!

As always, vote however you see fit, whether you like the character more or my ship with them more. Propaganda will be below the cut. May the best f/o win!! 🧡💜🧡

Junkrat

From anonymous: as a certified junkrat roleplayer i GOTTA go to bat for my boy. He’s like if you made looney tunes as a concept into a person. Autism dialed to 100. I dont care if he’s a criminal he’s a sweetheart. also i think you’d enjoy this tidbit i’ve had him say: “It’s *Junkrat,* thank you very much! I picked that name out meself! Mum didn’t let me make it my legal name, though. Said it’s bad for rez-ew-mes. Jokes on her, I ain’t held a single legal job in all my life. An’ I think Junkrat is very respectable! Makes my interests obvious. I like junkin’, an’ I like rats. Simple!”

From anonymous: Jamie is the most iconic of all! In my mind no one is more synonymous with your blog and your ships and its the first one I fell in love with

From @shipsashore: For the time I've followed your blog, I knew you as Junkrat's lover. Absolutely iconic couple here. Giving my vote to your silly trash husband.

Bowser

From @edencantstopfallininlove: Bowser has the raaaaange. He can go from silly and affable in one moment to ruthless and intimidating in the next. He can BREATHE FIRE for frick's sake. Also a good dad! In the words of the King of the Koopas himself, "Losing is not an option! And neither is giving up!"

From @shipsashore: Not voting for Bowser but I just wanna say yall are still an iconic couple. :)

Notes from Ruby

I'm writing down here because I don't want to put a bias for either of my guys. Sure, Jamie is my main f/o, but Bowser is also my very first, from back when I was only 10 years old and didn't have all these terms for it. He's the first one I ever drew self ship and self insert art for, who I came up with a story for. He means a lot to me and I still love him to this day. On the other hand, Jamie is my main, he's the only f/o I've officially done a wedding for, and sunk countless hours (and dollars) into loving him. This match is an impossible one for me, one I could never choose between... Here's hoping y'all have an easier time 😅💜🧡💜🧡💜

[beausling]

garden

pairing: bucky barnes x fem oc

this is a song fic inspired by ‘garden song’ by phoebe bridgers. each section between lyrics is a different memory from their life together.

warnings: modern college au, very brief mention of severe weather, brief implications of body image issues and insecurities, brief non-detailed description and talk of injuries, amnesia, house fire (no injury or death), NIMBLE IS OKAY!!!, angst, fluff, kinda hurt/comfort ??, avalon and steve have the cutest friendship ever, crumbs of avasam and peppalon bffism if you squint, brief mention of buckys fuckboy era, implied smut, a teeny tiny splash of drunk!steve, swearing, bucky and avalon are both a bit unwell in the head, implications of ptsd but if you dont have ptsd yourself then you probably wont catch it, bittersweet open-ended ending, i think thats all but lmk if i need to add more !!

this is NOT betaed!! i did proofread before posting, but im also dyslexic so if theres still any errors thats why.

all work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission. likes and reblogs are welcome and appreciated!!!

Someday, I'm gonna live

In your house up on the hill

as they stood at the lookout deep in the catskills watching the sunset, buckys arms wrapped around her waist, avalon couldn’t help but be in complete awe. no matter how many times they’d come here to watch the sunset, or wait in the car with bated breath while the severe weather alert blared through the speakers as nearly black clouds quickly filtered into the valley, it never failed to make her gape with child-like wonder at the vast horizon.

“i’ve seen this view so many times, and it still feels surreal every time…”

“i know…” bucky whispered back, voice slightly muffled as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

“it’s gorgeous…”

bucky raised his head to look at her, then to the view in front of them… the crystal blue reservoir below, narrow bridge crossing it in the distance, mountains for miles and the breathtaking pink and orange sky. He looked back to her and smiled.

the same view in front of them, he also held in his arms: her dyed bright orange hair, ‘i want to look like a pumpkin’ were avalons exact words when bucky found her dying it in the guest bathroom at 2am on a random wednesday. it wasn’t even fall yet, but she was just too excited to wait until october hit. the peaks and plateaus of her in the form of her body; the slope of her neck, the valley between her breasts, the curves of her waist, the dip in her hips, the bend of her knees. the bridge of her nose that she hated so much, uneven from one too many breaks never being fixed. bucky didn’t care, he loved all of her, so he’d kiss it anyways. and down to her blue-green eyes, perfection in his because they were the colors of mother nature. god, how he could always get lost in them.

“not as much as you though.” avalon let out a laugh at his comment. so cheesy, she thought.

she turned in his arms, pure adoration in buckys eyes as he stared back at her, and avalon swore in that moment she sunk further into the home she’d made for herself in his heart.

“okay, pretty boy.” she smirked, placing a long awaited kiss to his lips.

And when your skinhead neighbor goes missing

I'll plant a garden in the yard, then

it was the peak of spring. prime planting season, the wintery frost that usually covered the rural new york landscape during the cold months no longer invaded their yard.

bucky realized he hadn’t seen avalon most of the day, at least not since breakfast, and it was nearing 3pm. he thought she might’ve been in the green room, but nope. no head of messy strawberry blonde hair in sight. but then he heard it, loud and clear, that frustrated groan that filtered in through the front door, and bucky automatically knew what was going on. it was on their calendar and avalon hadn’t been able to stop talking about it for weeks; it was planting season, the end of the frost!

bucky made his way outside, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“hey, doll.”

“hi!” avalon jumped excitedly at the sound of his voice.

“what are you doing?” he already knew, but he had to play in. talking about her gardens of flowers, her pride and joy, always made her buzz with happiness. bucky felt grateful enough that she let him witness it.

“it’s planting season!” she said with a bright smile.

“oh, of course.” bucky said in a mock forgetful tone as he descended the front steps of her home — their home now.

avalon held up two small bags of seeds to bucky as she asked, “should i do pink or white peonies?”

“pink, obviously!” he replied, as if it weren’t already a given she had to plant pink peonies because ‘thems the rules!’

“obviously…” avalon rolled her eyes, already knowing what bucky was thinking, as if she could simply see into his mind.

They're gluing roses on a flatbed

You should see it, I mean thousands

the spring festival always filled avalon with joy. participating in the parade almost every year since she was three, while her mother and father usually manned their tent as vendors, along with her fathers brother who owned a brewery.

this would be buckys first year attending. it was basically his initiation, as avalon and her mom had put it.

“oh, my god… buck, look at the flower floats!” avalon beamed, her chest surging with joy. i can’t believe i was able to contribute to something so beautiful, she thought.

“they’re pretty.” bucky whispered back in her ear holding her tightly to his chest, watching the gorgeous floats filled with a plethora of flowers roll past.

“those are my roses…” she said timidly, pointing to the corral truck, all bright smiles and shining eyes. it was covered in at least a few hundred rose buds of varying colors.

“what?” buckys eyes went wide as he released his grip on her waist and she turned to face him with a shy smile. “and you didn’t tell me?”

“i wanted it to be a surprise!”

his smile shown brighter than the stars, and avalon couldn’t help but smile back the same way. bucky grabbed her waist, hoisting her up in the air and spinning her around as she laughed.

“i’m so proud of you!” he shouted, flooding her face with kisses all over.

I grew up here 'til it all went up in flames

Except the notches in the door frame

it was like a scene from a movie. avalon swore everything was going in slow motion as her feet came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the street. her mind racing a thousand miles a minute, but one thing was clear through all the haze… nimble. avalon ran straight for the blazing house.

“ma’am, please. you need to stand back.” a firefighter said as he held her back with his strong arm.

“but that’s my home! my dog is still inside!” she screamed back.

“i understand, but-“

“my dog is in there — my entire life is!” avalon was a complete mess. she knew this man was just trying to do his job, and she was extremely grateful for that, but she wouldn’t know what to do if she lost nimble. the tiny, almost fourteen year old beagle had been her best friend since she was nine.

“listen, i understand this is an incredibly difficult, and stressful situation…but you need to stay back and let us do our job.” the firefighter said with a firm nod of his head, going back to his position.

“oh god…” avalon took a step back, watching as her childhood home was consumed by the red inferno.

she fell to her knees, praying to a god she wasn’t even sure she believed in, until she heard a small voice in the back of her head. it kind of sounded like her grandma. ‘nimble will be fine, that little guy is as resilient as dinosaur bones’

not even a minute later does she look back up to see him dashing through the yard, the tiny hound, her best friend.

“nimble!” avalon sprung to her feet and raced towards him, right passed the firefighter who was telling her just minutes before to stay back.

“hey!” he yelled, trying to grab for her as she zoomed past, but failing miserably.

avalon fell to the sidewalk and scooped nimble up the second he was in arms reach, holding him tightly to her and crying.

she felt a crinkle against her chest. she looked down, and sure enough, nimble held a small brown canvas bag in his mouth marked peonies.

“anything to live up to your name, huh?” avalon said through sniffles as she removed the bag from his mouth, stuffing it into her jacket pocket and gently petting his head.

I don't know when you got taller

See our reflection in the water

everything was stressing her out. steve was so adamant that bucky would come back, and deep down avalon knew that he had to be right…he had to be, steve was buckys best friend since the dawn of time, he knew him better than anyone else. but avalon just couldn’t bring it from within herself to truly believe what the blonde was telling her.

so when avalon disappeared out of nowhere one afternoon, it was safe to say the whole group flipped the entire city upside down trying to find her. how could a girl from the catskills burrow herself so deep into manhattan when she barely even knew the city?

of course, steve being steve, he found her first because he knew all the right places to look. soho, the brooklyn bridge and riverside park. he should’ve known she’d be by the pier.

“darling?” steve called out softly. he’d know that flannel and shaggy blue hair anywhere.

avalon turned around to see her favorite of buckys friends. really, they were her friends too now. “oh… hey, steve.” she sniffled and wiped her tears away as she turned back to the water, leaning on the rail.

“we’ve all been looking everywhere for you…for two hours” there wasn’t even the slightest pinch of malice in his voice. steve wasn’t angry at all, he was concerned.

“i know, i’m sorry i scared you guys… i just needed to be alone” steve approached, standing to her right, leaning on the rail with her.

“so you came to the river?”

“buck and i, we… we used to walk the path almost every morning, so i figured… i figured no one would find me here, i guess.” avalon stared down at her morphing reflection in the hudson, steves next to her… she wished so bad that it was bucky.

“in a very public area, no one would find you?” steves gaze could burn holes through the side of her face.

she finally looked back at him, fresh tears welling in her eyes just threatening to spill over. “hey, i’m a very easy person to ignore… clearly.” she answered in a sarcastic tone.

“avi…” steves entire demeanor shifted at her indication. he knew exactly what she meant.

avalon had quickly become one of steves closest friends, right next to sam and nat. he was loyal to a fault, so he’d do anything to protect his friends from harm, but he felt useless in this situation.

“it’s fine…” avalon said dismissively with a small, sad smile. being at her and buckys spot, looking out at the same view they always did together, brought back a lot.

Off a bridge at the Huntington

I hopped the fence when I was seventeen

she stared up at the seven foot tall chainlink fence with fear. how the fuck was she supposed to climb this thing?

“ava, come on!” noah yelled from the other side.

“guys, i don’t think i can do it!” she pulled her jacket tighter around her waist, not sure if the shaking in her limbs was caused by anxiety, or the cold air that seemed to permanently swirl at night during autumn in the catskills.

“come on, don’t be a scaredy cat!” oliver teased.

avalon thought it over in her head. it wasn’t that scary, the worst that could possibly happen is falling on her ass. “alright, alright…”

so she started climbing the metal links, just as she’d seen noah and oliver do before her. at one point, close to the top, she lost her footing and almost fell. in a quick recovery she pulled herself up, swinging her legs over the top and jumping to the ground when she made it halfway down.

“see? it wasn’t that hard.” oliver said, patting her shoulder with a smirk.

“yeah” avalon smiled back. in her distracted state she didn’t realize at first that oliver had tagged her, until he started running up the hilly path.

shock spread through her face as she looked over at noah, then he started running too.

“oh, you’re gonna get it oli!” avalon yelled as she began chasing after them both.

she gained a newfound confidence that night, pride surging through her chest. there was nothing she couldn’t do.

Then I knew what I wanted

this conversation had been a long time coming. neither of them knowing the other felt the same way, but avalon wanted this so bad. it was the next step. bucky wanted it too, but he would never ask her to drop her life in catskill to move to the city. it was tug of war.

“i couldn’t ever ask you to leave your home. i mean-“ avalon cut him off. what is this kid not understanding, she thought.

“but you’re not asking me to…i’m telling you, i want to live with you in brooklyn.”

“but catskill is your home! you feel the same way about it that i feel about brooklyn!” bucky just couldn’t understand. maybe it was because he’d never been in a relationship as serious as this. maybe it was because he believed it when his intrusive thoughts told him she didn’t really feel the same way about him. but boy, was he wrong.

“my home is with you, bucky.” she said firmly.

that was the moment he saw it. he saw the same look in avalons eyes that steve always told bucky he had when he was looking at her. it filled his chest with both joy and fear.

And when I grow up, I'm gonna look up

From my phone and see my life

when steve got a call from sam the night before saying him and tony had found bucky, it wasn’t what him and avalon expected.

they raced to the hospital on steves motorcycle. upon arrival, avalon jumped off before they even came to a full stop, throwing the helmet off and running inside.

she spotted sam and tony in the waiting room, “where is he?”

“ava…” sam said softly, putting his hands on her shoulders. a lump caught in her throat at the tone in his voice.

“what happened?” her words came out barely above a whisper.

“you guys might wanna sit down…” tony spoke up. avalon hadn’t noticed steve come in, or tony hugging him comfortingly before.

the fear was clear in her eyes as she looked between all of them, sam ushering her into a seat as tony went to find the doctor so she could explain it all better.

everything sounded muffled, like she was under water. the word ‘amnesia’ rang in her head. it was the only thing she could really catch the doctor say before she was having a full blown panic attack in the middle of the hospital waiting room.

And it's gonna be just like my recurring dream

I'm at the movies, I don't remember what I'm seeing

bucky had been in the hospital for a few weeks now. avalon hadn’t been able to find the courage to see him, when on the first night sam came out of the room with shaky hands, proclaiming bucky wasn’t able to remember who he was. so far it seemed bucky wasn’t able to remember anything past age twenty.

steve went to the hospital to see bucky almost every day, and this particularly grueling morning he all but forced avalon to finally go with him.

“just because he might not remember you right now, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t want to see you.” steve said. she knew he was trying to comfort her, but it wasn’t really working. they’d been sitting on a bench just outside the main entrance of the hospital for almost thirty minutes now, and she wasn’t past waiting another thirty just to spite them both. it felt like the universe was playing a cruel joke on her.

before she could even realize what was happening, steve was dragging her inside and pulling her into the elevator.

“you’re mean, you know that?” avalon said as she crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall.

“it’s only the fifth time you’ve said it today.” steve chuckled.

as soon as the elevator doors slid open, steve was dragging her around again.

“i can walk, steve. my legs work just fine.” avalon huffed out.

“yeah, and as soon as i let go of you, you’re just gonna run for the hills… literally.” steve quipped back. avalon simply rolled her eyes at him in response.

when they got to the door avalon felt like she couldn’t breathe, like all the air was being callously pulled from her lungs. steve felt her tense.

“it’s gonna be okay, avi. i promise.” steve gave her a warm, comforting smile.

“no it’s not.” she whispered back, tears already filling her eyes.

“yes it-“

“steve, he doesn’t know me.”

“he may not be able to remember you, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know you.”

deep down, avalon knew he was right. she knew it, but that still didn’t mean she believed it right now.

“you ready?” steve asked.

“no.” with that, steve held her hand tightly as they walked into buckys hospital room, avalon guarding herself behind his broad back.

“buck? you up?”

“hey, stevie!” and avalons heart nearly shattered. it was the first time she’d heard his voice in over a month, and it was almost like the first time again. “who’s that hiding behind you?”

her knees began to buckle under all the stress she’d been carrying with her. she leaned against steves back for support, taking in jagged breaths.

steve turned around quickly, wrapping his arms around her comfortingly. “do you wanna go say hi to him?”

“i don’t think i can even look at him without bursting into tears.” she whispered against his chest.

“you’re already in here though, right?” she nodded.

“steve?” he sounded thoroughly confused. avalon could imagine bucky was probably doing his signature puppy dog eyes/head tilt combo, she giggled at the thought of it. steve smiled.

“yeah, buck?”

“who is that? oh, my god, wait, no, don’t tell me… is that your girlfriend?” bucky smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. steve immediately went red as a avalon let out a howl of a laugh.

“ewww!” “what- no- she- she’s not…” avalon and steve spoke at the same time.

“literally fucking barf…” avalon spoke through giggles. “no offense, steve.”

“no, none taken.” he chuckled.

avalon finally looked up at bucky, and he still had that same smirk on his face. she swore it almost knocked her off her feet.

“hmm, i don’t know if i believe it…” bucky said in a sing-song voice.

“trust me, killer. steves definitely not my guy.” she said, slowly approaching his bed.

“who is then? i mean, a pretty girl like you, there’s no way you don’t have a boyfriend.” bucky was actually flirting with her right now. it’s not like she wasn’t used to it, even when they started dating he would still flirt with her. but this was different, because bucky couldn’t remember that he was her boyfriend. she was so torn between crying on her knees begging him to just remember, and continuing to fuck with him. she assumed the latter would be less painful for now, so she went along with it.

“there’s a certain brunette i have wrapped around my finger…” she smirked back at him as she sat on the end of his bed.

this was certainly going to be interesting.

The screen turns into a tidal wave

Then it's a dorm room, like a hedge maze

avalon had dreamed of attending columbia since the day she toured it when she was ten, so when she got in early decision she was more than ecstatic.

meeting bucky during the summer between freshman and sophomore year happened purely by chance, because he was a student at nyu, and avalon still lived at home during the summer. it was a struggle to make it all work when they first started dating, but they did it.

junior year was definitely a bitch though. the first few weeks kicked both of their asses, what with bucky being an athlete and avalon being a biochemistry major. he had hours upon hours of practice and training, while avalon had two to four hour long labs and seminars.

one late night as avalon crammed for a quiz in her molecular biology course, hopped up on three pipeline punch monsters and a five hour energy, she heard an unexpected knock at the door. she knew it wasn’t her roommate, isabela.

avalon grumbled, not even wanting to get up from the seat at her desk so she called out, “who is it?”

“housekeeping!” immediately knowing who it was, she jumped up and bolted to the door, swinging it open.

“bucky!” she smiled.

“hey, doll.” he smiled back, avalon practically flinging herself into his arms.

“oh, my god! what are you doing here?” her voice came out muffled as she buried her face in the crook of his neck.

“i was homesick…” bucky shrugged. avalon pulled her face away to look at him, not a hint of anything but love behind his eyes. she pulled him back in and hugged him even tighter.

avalon was his home, and bucky was hers.

And when I find you

You touch my leg and I insist

everyone that knew bucky knew he was a playboy. never being tied down to one girl for more than a few nights. it was always like that. at least, that was, until he met avalon.

hes a brooklyn boy. blood, bread, born and raised. first kiss at nine and lost his virginity by sixteen. avalon was very different. shes a catskills girl through and through. first kiss at thirteen and still a virgin. she didn’t want to give all of herself to just anyone.

“you know, we don’t have to do anything if you aren’t ready yet. i don’t want you to feel pressured.” bucky said as they sat on the edge of her bed. avalon made sure isabela wouldn’t be back tonight so she could have the dorm room for her and bucky.

she really wanted this. she wanted it with bucky. she wanted everything with bucky.

“i know, i’m okay… i am ready.” she looked up at him to see the softest, sweetest smile on his face.

god, bucky barnes was going to be the absolute death of avalon fiore.

But I wake up before we do it

buckys recovery after the accident was a very long and hard process. it took nearly a year for his memory to be restored, at least to the point of remembering avalon and all of his friends. he was still staying with steve until his doctor fully cleared him to go back to his usual life, and avalon stayed with him almost every night, as he oftentimes had nightmares and she was the only person that could calm him down.

this just so happened to be one of those nights. avalon woke up to him thrashing around in the bed, which wasn’t too unusual, but it typically meant that his nightmares were worse than normal and it’d probably be a lot harder to get him back to sleep. avalon didn’t mind helping him a single bit. she loved him so much, she would do this for the rest of her life if she had to.

she wrapped herself around him and held him down as best she could, being his human weighted blanket.

“buck…” she spoke softly in his ear, and he jolted awake, hyperventilating and shaking like a leaf. “bucky- hey, hey, hey. hey, it’s me. it’s me, it’s just me. i’m here, okay? you’re gonna be okay, i promise. i’m right here.” she whispered as she ran her hands through his hair.

I don't know how, but I'm taller

It must be something in the water

avalon stood at the pier in riverside park as she did almost every day. just because bucky hurt her didn’t mean she was going to let him ruin the hudson for her. she had so many memories here, and the good definitely outweighed the bad.

“avalon…” she didn’t need to turn around and see his face to know it was him. she’d know that voice anytime, any place. even if she was deaf, she’d know the vibrations.

she pursed her lips as she felt him get closer behind her. “hi, james.” she replied plainly, looking back out over the river.

bucky was ready to get on his knees and beg for her forgiveness in front of every person walking empire state trail. “avs, please-“

she finally turned around at that, hearing the nickname only bucky ever called her. it sounded so foul running from his lips now. “no, no. no. you don’t get to call me that!” avalon yelled, shoving him back. “not anymore…” she whispered coldly, tears brimming her waterline as she walked away.

bucky fell to his knees crying. he didn’t care if anyone thought he looked pathetic, he felt horrible. he didn’t care if they trampled over him, he already felt like he was dying inside knowing how much pain he caused avalon.

Everything's growing in our garden

You don't have to know that it's haunted

many years ago now, not too long after meeting her for the first time, pepper asked avalon if she could teach her how to garden. they planted a beautiful array of flowers around the outside of the house. pepper had enough skill now after all these years to do everything herself, and was even beginning to pass all her knowledge down to morgan.

after everything that had happened recently, steve, and everyone else really, started to notice that avalon wasn’t going out as much. she seemed in a funk and they didn’t know how to help. she was always at her best surrounded by her friends and family, but now she felt too weak to even get out of bed most days. tony and pepper insisted avalon and steve come over for dinner, so that’s where they were, at the couples cabin deep in the adirondacks.

as pepper prepared a feast in the kitchen, steve and tony drinking on the porch and catching up while morgan played in the living room, avalon decided to get some fresh air and walk around the property. she stared fondly at the garden surrounding the house, remembering when her and pepper first planted it. something near the edge of the deck caught her eye… a small bundle of pink peonies.

she wasn’t sure exactly what came over her, but the next second avalon was ripping them out of the ground and pulling them apart. the guys shared a look.

“is she… okay?” tony asked, brows furrowed.

“she’s… she’s uhh… pulling out the peonies.”

“why?” steve himself wasn’t too sure either and he was thoroughly worried and confused, so he went over to check on her.

“avi…” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder.

she slowed to a stop, holding some destroyed buds in her hands as she began crying. “i can’t- i can’t… it’s like he’s a ghost, just haunting me at every corner i turn.” she looked up at steve and whispered, “i just can’t do it anymore.”

steve leaned down to hug her, but just as he did she went right back to ripping up the peonies and punching the ground, cursing god for playing such a sick joke on her.

steve walked back up the porch, far more perplexed than before. “she said something about a ghost, i don’t… i don’t know.” he sighed.

“a what?” tony screeched.

The doctor put her hands over my liver

She told me my resentment's getting smaller

seven months had now passed since avalon broke up with bucky, and everyones lives had been rockier than the devils tombstone. bucky got a new apartment in brooklyn, while avalon stayed with steve until her new home in the catskills was finished. she planned to move back there and get on with her life, maybe teach plant biology at her old high school, or work for the wethersfield estate tending to the gardens.

it was a rare night that only ever happened once in a blue moon where steve and avalon were off work on the same night, no flowers to sell or cars to fix. they decided to stay in watching movies together while getting wine drunk.

“i don’t know, i just don’t think i needed to see luke peglers bare ass tonight.” steve shrugged, avalon laughing hysterically.

“oh, i definitely did.” she said giggling, taking a sip from her glass.

steve shifted in his seat to face her, “can we talk about it now?” he asked softly.

“talk about what?” avalon said, raising a brow. she knew exactly what he meant, but she didn’t want to argue with him about it anymore. they’d been going back in forth for months now and avalon just wanted to put everything to rest and move on.

“i know he messed up, avi…” she rolled her eyes at that.

“yeah, no shit. tell me something i don’t already know, rogers.” she replied, downing the rest of the wine in her glass. steve huffed. why does she have to be so damn stubborn, he thought.

“do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive him?”

“i don’t know, steve. i really don’t.” she sighed.

this was the first time in her life that avalon wasn’t sure what her future would look like. since the day she met bucky in soho, the summer her uncles brewery expanded into the city, she imagined he’d be there until the very end.

No, I'm not afraid of hard work

I get everything I want

nearly a year with no contact and house in the catskills still unfinished, avalon was going stir-crazy. she felt out of her mind and didn’t know what to do. steve always worked longer hours than her, tony and pepper were in the adirondacks, nat and yelena were visiting their parents in russia, sam was working on his parents old boat in louisiana, wanda moved back to sokovia, and she had not the slightest idea what thor, bruce and clint were up to these days, considering they never answered their damn phones. she was still convinced after all these years that thor didn’t even know how to use his phone.

she made the decision, without even thinking really, but she was ready for the hell to end. she wasn’t sure if this was absolutely insane and would regret ever doing it, or if she was pure genius and would regret having not done it sooner.

“there’s literally no turning back now…” she whispered to herself in the dark of her car as she began driving over the brooklyn bridge.

she got turned around at first, taking the route to his old apartment. it was muscle memory. she’d completely forgotten he moved. by the time she finally made it there it was nearly 11:30pm, and she was sure he would be asleep.

but she knocked anyways.

and he answered.

“avalon…” he couldn’t believe she was standing in his doorway right now, a look of utter shock spread across his face.

“hi, bucky.” she said softly with a smile.

“get in here, right now!” when she didn’t move, bucky grabbed her arms and pulled her swiftly into his apartment.

“well, hello there…” she said through giggles while bucky spun her around.

“oh, my god…” he put her back on her feet, and when her smile didn’t falter he held her face gently in his hands to ground himself. this had to be a dream, he thought. “hi, doll!” he whispered in the space between them.

avalon smiled wider, running her hands through his hair. bucky leaned into her touch, eyes fluttering closed as he let out a content sigh. “hey, pretty boy.”

she still had no idea what her future was going to look like from here on out, but she knew she needed bucky in it forever. they would definitely talk about everything later, but for right now she just needed to live in this moment.

they were finally home again.

I have everything I wanted

[v1ll1anousblackhat]

What the hell is going on?!.. cruelest dream reality!!

Only TW is alcohol anddd Panic Attacks, Mentions of insecurities-?

ENJOY SU1C1DAL PR1NC3SS </333333

Tai sat Infront of their nightstand, Infront of their mirror as they kept sobbing their heart out, Tai felt horrible- and ugly. Which was literally the worst feeling for them since they hated feeling ugly anyways, as well as feeling physically unwell because of their little hangover, They were crying so hard, Shaky, shallow breathing, loud coughing, and gagging was heard coming from their room, which was so loud they heard someone slowly open their door which made them flinch, and lift their head up a little bit while their hand was gripping onto their left eye. "D-dont look at me!!--- I--I'm so…fucking ugly." Tai mumbled between sobs, which was then accompanied by a loud cough. It was two boys one with long curly hair with a black shirt printed with a blood-stained heart and always holds a blush face- on his right.... A fluffed haired brown-haired boy with a grey mask covering his face and steampunk goggles with a striped sweater and his hatchets attached to his belts. "Tai- Dearie-! what are you doing in here all alone you look terrible-!" John doe sounded so very worried he cupped her face and gently wiped her tears and Toby...The hatchet boy who's usually a very numb person and doesn't know how to confront someone who is crying just stood there and rubbed his arm "T-Tai....W-what's going on?" Tai sniffled and sunk her face into her knees ... The two boys looked at each other and then back at the sad girl..."T-Tai...don't be t-this way you can t-tell us anything...y-ya k-know..." Toby put a hand on her shoulder trying his best to show he cares and wants to comfort her...Tai finally after a few minutes positioned herself up "May we sit with you love?" John doe asked. The hungover mess of a girl nodded her head in response and the two boys sat down each side by side to Tai back against the wall. Tai was still seated in their chair, trying to steady their breathing the best they can, but all that could come out were erratic breaths and coughs. Tai breathed heavily as they were still grabbing onto their eye for dear life. It literally took the life out of Tai just to be able to speak again, "...I'm never drinking again-- ever again. I just...I just want to......maybe have something I could finally enjoy for once in my life" Tai said as their voice slightly cracked, even when they sat in a different position, and calmed down just a tiny bit, no matter what Tai always covered their eye and looked down at the floor. This odd behavior- and What Tai said confused both of the boys, they looked at each other dumbfounded for a minute. "Darling- uhm-" Doe gave a quite awkward but reassuring smile and asked. "Why do you keep covering your eye?" Tai closed both of them and mumbled. "Uh- what was that dear- I couldn't hear you?" Tai snapped "my eye looks so fucked up-! it's so ugly and fucking...sloppy.... I look so fucked up right now and I hate how disgusting I am-!! I hate this feeling of disgust I just want to fucking K!ll mys3lf!" John Doe & Toby immediately hugged Tai after she shouted that. Tai's eyes got watery again. Toby sighed and dug into his pockets and pulled out a bondage eye patch he only had one just in case of major injury during his k1ll1ng. . "Uh y-yeah h-have this..." Toby gently moves Tais bangs from her face which did make her tummy have butterflies, but she tried to prevent herself from smiling.

Toby gently placed the eye patch on her hungover eye "W-wa la-!" Tobg cheered John doe gave Tai a friendly kiss on the cheek before saying "You look lovely Tai! Go look in the mirror" "o-oh okay-" Tai carfully got up and looked up at her self through her bedroom mirror-- She looked....genrally pretty...she liked herself for once "you know what- I don't actually look thst bad- maybe I don't feel so gross after all-" A big grin flashed upon Tai's face as she looked at her two guy friends "Thanks Toby and Doe.. Idk what'd I honestly do without you two..." The three went off in the night to fuck around and Tao never felt better about herself and ...everything... she felt genrally free when she felt the cool midnight air touch her face and the moon smiling at her it was all so beautiful she closed her eyes and embraced all of it. . . The End <3

[mountttmase]

Hi, I'm emotional 🥺 they are going to be missed

Not a word had been exchanged between you and Mason since that night he left you in bed. Not a call or a text. Nothing. No sign of life from him at all and the longer it went on the more your heart broke. THIS HURT A LOT

‘Fine’ she laughed. ‘We were hoping to make it a pizza making party, like do something a little different? Bens just got the new oven installed and wants to try it out’ she explained. I WANT TO GO TOO

‘Oh the usuals, Dec, Lauren, Woody, Kayla’ she listed off and the omission of a certain someone’s name made you relax. ‘Bens also got a friend from home here and possibly a couple of the Chelsea boys might come. Oh and Mason too, he’s free that weekend’ OPS

It was all still there, the pretty flowers and little cakes, the heart with gwens face in but what really made you melt was the detail on the bottom you missed. His initials, MM, in a little heart and you had to bite your bottom lip to hold your emotions in. THIS KILLED ME

You managed to hold it together but as the days became closer to seeing him you could feel yourself freaking out. You decided to throw yourself into work and the night before you distracted yourself by making all the dough for the next day. Making way more than you needed to but it seemed to be your coping mechanism for the night so you didn’t think about looking back into his brown eyes again. THATS ME

WE DONT LIKE TAHT GIRL

You heard his voice before you turned to give him a once over and you hated the way your tummy sunk at the sight of him. The last time you’d seen him he was abandoning you in your bed as he made it clear you were nothing more than someone he wanted to fuck for the week. Now he was just Mason again and you weren’t sure you’d be able to differentiate between the two. OH MY LITTLE GIRL

Him wrapping his arms around her waist as she buried her face his neck and you had to turn away before you burst into tears. MASON....

‘Ladies, how are we?’ Mason smirked, leaning over to give Carly a quick kiss on the cheek before looking down at you. ‘You alright?’ HE IS ACTING LIKE THE FUNNY ONE

‘You too’ you whispered. Not sure how good it was to see him right now and his standoffishness was making your heart shatter. I FEEL SO BAD FOR HER

You could see Mason out of the corner of your eye, standing with Kenny as they chatted just the two of them and you wondered why he never came to join you until Carly called you into the kitchen and they finally joined everyone else. Realising you must have been the reason he didn't want to sit with everyone and you felt your eyes sting. I'M HATING HIM

‘Sorry we haven’t spoken much lately, I’ve just had a lot on’ he told you quietly and you knew it was the worst excuse in the world from him. The way he didn’t care enough to be honest with you made you feel sick and you had no idea how to respond YEAH....OF COURSE MOUNT

‘Mase?’ Ben suddenly called, head popping into the kitchen and his eyes lit up at the sight of him. ‘Ahh there you are. We’re playing Pictionary and Kenny needs a partner. You coming?’ BEN 😒

‘Well yours looks way better than mine’ he huffed and you sent him a small smile. ‘Are we okay?’ He asked carefully, his voice small and scared almost and when you finally made eye contact with him you saw how sad he looked. NO MASON YOU'RE NOT OK

You were being miserable and you knew you were and you knew you had to snap out of it. You were the one who caught feelings, clearly he hadn’t so this was a you issue and if you didn’t fix up you were risking ruining the whole friendship group. OH NO HE HAS TOO, HE IS JIST STUPID

You felt lighter as you made your way back in, stopping in the kitchen to cut your pizza up and as if by magic Mason appeared. Walking over to the fridge to grab a drink before standing opposite you. HE IS FOLLOWING HER MOVEMENTS 😂

‘Oh yeah? What do you think’ you asked, showing it to him proudly with a wide smile and your sudden change of demeanour had him looking at you bewildered but he soon mirrored your expression and smiled back at you widely. THEY ARE TEO BIPOLAR PEOPLE, THEY ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER

‘Please? I’ll never finish it all. I want you to have some’ you told him, placing your hand on his arm and his eyes flashed to where you were touching him before looking at you with a soft smile. SHE IS ACTING TO CUTE

You ignored it though until you couldn’t, watching them discuss the pizza on his plate before she picked up the slice you’d given him from yours and take a massive bite from it. WE DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL

‘I don’t wanna cause a fuss, I’ll just go it’s fine’ you told her with a weak smile. ‘It’s been a long day and I just don’t feel great’ OH BABY

‘Oh Mason didn't tell you?’ She asked, brows raising in shock like she couldn’t believe you didn’t know but you could tell she was about to take some satisfaction in filling you in. ‘I was meant to go with him originally but like a week before I had a really important job come up and I had to back out. I told Mason to find someone else to take and he mentioned you guys were friends. You know what Masons like he probably didn’t want to say anything and upset you’ FUCK OFF KENNY, THANK YOU

You could barely focus as you drove home. Feeling even more used now that you knew you were his back up. Probably only sleeping with you as you were all he had to choose from and you felt even dirtier than before. OMG IM SAD

‘Mason, what do you want?’ You asked with furrowed brows and you knew you looked pissed from the way he was looking back at you. THERE HE IS

‘Where’s Kenny’ you questioned, eyebrow raised but he looked even more confused at this. I LOVE HER

‘Are you gonna tell me what’s really wrong? Cause you look fine’ he told you and you felt your anger rise up in your throat. TRY TO UNDERSTAND ALONE

‘Well it has. Look I know things have been a little weird since Portugal but I’m only here for a few days and I…’ WEIRD....

‘I miss you’ he whispered. You heart breaking at the sound of his voice but you knew you had to stay firm. ‘Things aren’t the same as they used to be. What happened to the contract? Friendship comes first and all that shit? You can barely look at me now’ he told you, unable to hide the hurt in his voice but you were too upset to let it affect you. ‘Last time we spoke at Ben's things seemed better and now you’ve gone all cold again’ YEAH, CAUSE KENNY DECIDED TO RUIN IT

‘Cause I fucking like you, you idiot!’ you suddenly exploded, silencing him immediately as he stared at you in shock and you knew you needed to take it down a peg. ‘I like you’ you told him, your voice sounding vulnerable and small as your eyes fell to the floor. ‘I know about the contract and I remember the rules but I like you. And I’ve been trying to make it stop but I can’t and then you shared my pizza that I gave you with some random girl I’ve never seen before right in front of me’ SHE FINALLY SAID IT🥺

‘It’s just pizza, Muffin’ he said quietly, trying to hide the smile on his face but you saw it clear as day. NOT MUFFIN NOW MASON

‘A friend of Bens from back home. I didn’t meet her that long ago but he introduced us cause she lives in Manchester now’ he explained and you hated the fact she lived so close to him. WE DONT LIKE THE FACT THAT SHE LIVES IN MANCHESTER

‘First of all, that’s bullshit. It was always meant for you and I’ve got the texts to prove it’ he told you, reaching for his phone to prove his point but you felt a little silly now. GOOD MOUNT GIVE ME THE TEXT

‘Muffin, who are we trying to kid?’ He asked you softly, your eyes on his face immediately and the soft look on his face made your knees weak. OMG OK

‘When you said you liked me, did you mean it?’ He questioned, wanting an answer but you weren’t ready to speak so you just nodded, hoping that would be enough for him. ‘Well, I like you too. A lot in fact, more than I ever intended to. And I know it’s against the rules but fuck all that’ he laughed. ‘Why are we fighting so hard against what we want?’ WOOOOOO

‘I didn’t say any of that stuff cause I believed it’ he sighed. ‘You don’t know how many times that night I came back to your door ready to knock it down and tell you how I was feeling. Why do you think I left that night like I was going out of my mind and I was crying like a baby’ he laughed but your heart broke at the sound of his confession. ‘I was so caught up in you and then reality hit that I probably can’t give you what you want. What you deserve’ THIS HONESTLY KILLED ME

‘You’re this big scary boss lady who’s got so much going for her, you know? Like you’ve got your whole little empire and that’s your world. I thought being with me would be too much for you or something. I’m so far away now and I can’t give you the time you deserve. Maybe I’m not making that much sense’ MISS INDEPENDENCE

‘What if I want you in the way?’ You asked and he looked up at you hopefully. SHE WANTS HIM ON TGE WAY

‘You did’ you laughed, nodding your head as you moved your hands to his shoulders. ‘But you said everyone’s got time, you just have to make it. And you Mason, I’d be more than willing to make time for you’ SCREAMINGGGG

‘I know, I was trying to run away I think. I knew I pushed it too far that night before and we broke all the rules but I was past the point of caring. All I wanted was to wake up next to you that morning, kiss you and tell you how I really felt. But you’d gone and then I saw you in the pool with Chilly and it drove me mad’ SILLY BOY

HHEHEHEHHEHE THE GIRL HE SPOKE TO WAS DRUNK SO NO DRAMA GUYSSSS

‘You don’t have to thank me, all I care about is you being okay and I get it didn’t seem like that sometimes’ he sighed. ‘That whole day I knew it was gonna be my last with you and I was miserable. Didn’t wanna do anything or speak to anyone, like once I was over my strop that morning I just wanted to hold you cause I knew I wouldn’t be allowed to the next day. I was terrified of talking to you about anything cause I knew I’d get upset so I just didn’t and then when we went out I thought if I wasn’t around you then I could push it all down and move on and maybe by the time we saw each other again it’d be alright but as soon as I saw you earlier I knew I’d messed up. I don't think I can be just friends with you now Muffin, it’s not gonna work. Not when I know I want so much more from you’ IM SO EMOTIONAL

THE LITTLE KISS/LIPS BRUSHINGGGG

‘You gonna let me be your muffin man, then?’ He joked, referencing the fact he always asked if you had found your Mr. Muffin but little did he know he’d been your muffin man all along. PF YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN

‘Well I realised pretty quickly you’d gone but I didn’t know what to do so I waited until Woody asked and when Carly said you didn’t feel well I knew something was off’ he shrugged. ‘You were fine before we ate so I went into another room to try and call you but Dec found me before I got a chance and when I told him what I was doing he gave me a bit of a talking to’ he gulped, his face going as red as you’d ever seen it and you weren’t sure if you wanted to hear anymore. ‘Don’t be upset with him but he told me about when you spoke after I’d left. I don't think he told me everything but I got the main parts and I felt like such a knob. He told me he’d bang our heads together if I didn’t come over and make things right so I left and I guess he thinks if we’ve worked it out then it’s all down to him’ OHHHHHH🥺

‘Of course, had me hooked since that first chocolate muffin’ he confessed. ‘I like you a lot and I didn’t want you to think I’m like what everyone else sees me as. I love having you in my life and I love having you as a friend but lately I couldn’t help but see you as more’ he told you truthfully. ‘And then you showed up at my birthday looking hot as hell like you’re enough to drive anyone insane’ he teased and his words made you giggle as you tried to hide your face in your hands. I'M NO MORE MAD AT HIMMMM, I LOVE HIM AGAINNNN

‘We can still be friends’ he told you softly. Kissing your cheek gently before smiling down at you. ‘Well just be extra special friends who kiss and get to see each other naked’ he teased and you rolled your eyes playfully. ‘Plus now you're my girl you get a prime face time slot’ YAYYYYY FACE TIME SLOT FINALLYTT

‘Of course not, but just like my best friend figured it out I think yours has too. Probably knew before we knew ourselves. Remember when we were at the airport and you made your big entrance?’ He teased, making you hide your face in embarrassment but he was quick to pull your hands apart. ‘She came over to speak to me, mainly just to say thank you for the surprise but she asked me if something was going on between us as she knew you always keep your cards close to your chest’ I'M GIGGLING

‘Of course, I don’t wanna go back there without you’ he whispered and you knew you didn’t want to leave him either. ‘I promise I’ll get you room service in the morning’ he laughed, trying to convince you further but you were already wanting to free yourself from his grip so you could grab your things. SCREAMINGGGG

‘Thank you, Muffin. I’ve honestly been miserable without you and I’m really glad we get to start again’ he told you truthfully. Your eyes stinging as you nodded back at him softly before he kissed your forehead. ‘We’ll do it the right way this time, yeah? No more secrets or ground rules or whatever else. We’ll just be honest with each other about our feelings and we’ll go from there okay?’ OH YESSSS

THE PICS HARD LAUNCH🤭🤭🤭

BESTIE

OMG CANT BELIEVE WE ARE ALREADY AT THE END OF THIS? IT FEELS LIKE YOU POSTED THE FIRST CHAPTER YESTERDAY🥺

I LOVED ALL OF THIS

THE WAY THEIR RELATIONSHIP SLOWLY GROW AND HOW THEY SLOWLY STARTED TO SHOW THEIR FEELINGS

HOW THEY ARE EACH OTHER MUFFIN🥺

ALL THE SMUT YOU GAVE US, IT WAS PERFECT AND EXPECIALLY PUT IN THE PERFECT MOMENT. LIKE THE SECOND LAST CHAPTER SMUT? PERFECTLY CHOSEN😌

I LOVED HOW IT FELT LIKE THERE WAS KUST THEM DIRING THE HOLIDAY CAUSE THEY WERE ON THEIR OWN WORLD AND THEY WERE ENJOYING ALL THE TIME THEY HAD TOGETHER

THE ANGST?? PERFECTION. HOW BAD HE TREATED HER BUT AT THE SAME TIME THE EXPLANATION HE GAVE HER ABOUT HIS BEHAVIOUR

HIS FEARS ABOUT NOT BEING THE ONE WHO SHE DESERVED BY HER SIDE?🥺

WOW, JUST WOW

IVE ALREADY THANKED YOU IN PRIVATE BUT DOING THIS HERE TOO

IT WAS A PLEASURE READING THIS WORK OF ART AND GETTING CLOSE TO THESE TWO PEOPLE YOU CREATED

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH FOR SPENDING TIME ON WRITING THIS AND DECIDING TO SHARE IT WITH US🩷🩷🩷 CANT WAIT FOR NEW ADVENTURES AND WORLDS🩷

YOU ARE THE CUTEST

I love reading back through your feedback like it really makes my day so thank you 🥺 and thank you so much for all your help and the the excitement I get from you about every fic you make it all worth it 😘😘 love you bestie 🩷

[uncloseted]

You probably don’t even care, which is understandable, but do you think Hailey Bieber gives off high school mean girl energy? I personally do think she is pretty and successful, but i also just hate going on social media and see ppl take everything and blow it out of proportion to pit her against Selena Gomez and think whatever she says or does is out of jealousy over Selena and/or shading or bullying her (like what happened with the tiktok she made with Kendall Jenner using a certain tiktok sound, or even what recently happened with her and Kylie Jenner with the eyebrow thing) I do think they both do their own thing and want to move on, but somethings i see online seem either coincidental or non coincidental. Its social media, obvs. God knows what these celebs really do or think. These people don’t even care about us anyway so we shouldn’t play the blame game over this 😂 Overall, ppl shouldn’t encourange this for the sake of Selena’s mental health, the internet just wants Hailey to plummet and find closure that she *is* a mean person, but like I said I see things online that make me second guess that Hailey is just… off at certain times. I have so much to say about this but I cant articulate it all in one message, so Im just gonna leave it here 🥲 I dont blame Selena for taking a social media break, and i should do the same when I really feel like its best

That's so funny, I had actually just finished reading a deep-dive on the Hailey/Selena/Justin situation when you sent this. I do think Hailey gives off kind of "mean girl" energy, but I feel like people really blow it out of proportion. I think a lot of people would react the same way that she has if they were in her situation- she's constantly being compared to Selena and told that Selena was better for Justin or that he still really loves Selena, and Selena doesn't seem be able to let the relationship go even though Hailey and Justin have been married for over five years. I'm not saying Hailey couldn't deal with all of this better or that she's not being kind of mean, but I do think that a lot of the internet's hatred of Hailey comes down to the fact that she's a nepo baby with a famous husband as opposed to her actions. If the internet liked Hailey more as a person, I don't think they would be accusing her of being a mean girl.

And for Selena's part, I think she somehow gets way more hate and way less hate than she deserves? Her PR team is truly excellent- they've patched over a lot of stuff that would have sunk a different artist's career- but almost because of that, it seems like there's a group of people who are obsessed with making her out to be a giant villain? I think in general, Selena comes across as being much more sympathetic than Hailey because Selena has really worked for what she has, did "start from the bottom", and has struggled with her health very publicly, while Hailey has been given every advantage. But I think at this point, Selena should be able to let the whole thing go, and she's kind of keeping it alive while insisting that she's the victim and "being kind" and "sending love". She's also not really discouraging her fans from harassing Hailey, even though she's taking the stance of moral high ground.

Meanwhile, I think the real villain in this situation keeps getting totally ignored- straight up, this entire thing is Justin's fault. If he had been normal about his breakup with Selena and his relationship with Hailey, this wouldn't be happening. But because he very publicly ping-ponged between them from 2014 to when he eventually married Hailey in 2018 (only 7 months after having broken up with Selena, and only 3 months after having gotten back together with Hailey), it makes a lot of sense to me that both of them feel insecure and threatened by the other. Plus, Justin could have handled the media frenzy around his girlfriends differently- to this day, telling his fans, "I'm very much in love with my wife but I have a ton of respect for all the women I've dated in the past. Please don't harass them or act rudely towards them," would probably make a difference.

[wifeofwandamaximoff]

You promised - Wanda Maximoff

Warnings: Fluff, swear words, suicide attempt, self-harm, blood, drowning

Gender Neutral Y/n

(You have no permission to repost this or translate this on any other platform.)

(A/N: This is my first post so dont judge but I always have my requests open unless I say I dont. I'm open to a lot of things and I will be happy to write whatever you guys desire! I'll try to update as much as I can)

"Babe I'll be on a mission and ill come home tomorrow! Love you detka!" Wanda yelled before boarding the quinjet.

"Ok baby be safe. Love you!" I yelled back to her. I then quickly go back to my room after saying goodbye to my girlfriend.

I felt empty. I felt too tired to do anything. I felt too fat. Why would Wanda ever get in a relationship with me? She deserves so much better then me.

I want to feel something I thought to my self. I quickly get off mine and Wanda's shared bed and head to the bathroom. I go into my closet to find my razor blade I've been hiding.

I quickly found it and I touched the blade. It was dull. I then quickly ran into the bedroom and went into my things. Wanda knows not to go through my things other wise I get pissed. So I know Wanda hasn't found my other blades.

I then found my sharpest blade and sliced my finger a little bit. A cut was forming where I had dragged the blade on my finger. I felt a stinging sensation that I craved more of. I quickly got excited and ran into the bathroom. I then sat my self in the tub and started filling it up with water to drown my self if the blade wasn't doing enough.

I then started dragging the blade on my arms and legs. Making deep cuts in my skin that started bleeding almost instantly. I love this feeling.

I know Wanda will grieve but she will get over my death quickly right? I know Wanda could do so much better than me. She'll move on and forget me and live a happy life right?

Before I knew it I started feeling dizzy. But I didn't care I kept dragging the blade across my skin making more countless cuts on my body. I then focused on the water and seeing it was crimson red made me feel guilt inside for leaving Wanda. But it was too late.

Maybe I didn't wanna die. But I couldn't care at the moment and then dropped the blade in the water making it float around. And whenever it made contact with my body it made a cut.

I then sunk my head under the water letting the void consume me with open arms greeting me already.

Wanda's pov:

When I left the compound for my mission with Y/n's sister, Natasha, Tony, and Steve. I had a bad feeling something was gonna happen. But I ignored and believe it was me being paranoid for leaving Y/n home. But I just couldn't shake the feeling.

We were about to arrive at a abandoned Hydra base to get some files when all of a sudden we got an emergency alert from FRIDAY.

"Sir Miss Dahlia is in need of medical attention." said the voice that echoed.

"What do you mean FRIDAY?" asked Stark. I didn't have to look in their minds to see worry etched on their faces. Especially mine and Natasha's.

"It seems like Miss Dahlia is attempting suicide." echoed the voice.

Thats all it took for my world to crumble. My heart felt like it was shattered into a thousand pieces. Maybe even more than that.

"Turn the jet around Tony! My sister is dying so you better move your ass and head back to the compound as quickly as we can go!" screamed your sister Natasha.

Tony stood there frozen but then quickly snapped back into reality when your sister screamed at him.

He then started turning the jet around while me and Natasha were just crying and Steve had tears in his eyes but he tried to comfort us. Knowing that it wouldn't work but still tried.

We were on the other side of the country in Las Vegas while Y/n was in New York. It would be about an hour flight since the jet could go faster then anything I've ever seen and I've never been more relieved for it than this situation.

"FRIDAY alert everyone in the compound about the situation and bring her to med bay" I commanded FRIDAY.

"I have already alerted them Miss Maximoff."

For most of the way back to New York were just sounds of mine and Natasha's sobs and Steve's and Tony's little sniffles here and them.

--------------------------------------

When we arrived at the compound I dashed out of the jet and headed straight for med bay.

I then saw Maria, Fury, Bucky, Sam. and Clint standing outside the doors that led to a room. Which I assume leads to were Y/n is getting help from Dr. Cho and Bruce.

"Let me in!" I shouted at them.

"Wanda they're operating on her." said Bucky and was then interrupted by Sam.

"Its gonna be a while since they just started operating on her get some rest Wanda. And you also Natasha." Sam said as Natasha just arrived.

I knew there was no point in arguing since all of them would get hurt if I used my powers. My powers sometimes depend on my emotions. And at the moment I think if I use a little I'll lose control and hurt everyone in the room and maybe hurt Y/n.

--------------------------------------

There will def be a part too bc why not just for the sakes of your hearts.

Until Next time darlings!

[gemsofthegalaxy]

tbh, there are increasingly glaring issues with season 5 of ML which is why i'm allowing myself an extra dose of salt today, but, at the end of the day...... it's fine tbh lol.

i think one of the things is, I was so annoyed by season 4 that i don't really care that there's a big shift Adrien's character, i'm just so thankful that he's not acting like that any more, i don't care the reason why! and thank god it's the two of them again, because i did not care about the whole class getting miraculouses- i get they were going for something, but idk it was just. not worth it to me lol.

and, even with the myriad of flaws that Adrien, Marinette, and their relationship have (not to mention the writing in general. just. gosh)..... i always have been drawn to the show for the Love Square. they have been dragging this shit out for years now. i don't care if it's not particularly good, if it doesn't make sense that Tikki and Plagg decide to get Mari and Adrien to give up their miraculous (seriously bonkers plot point, guys. seriously), etc., if it means they'll be cute for a few scenes. i just want them to be together dammit!!

do i have to significantly lower my standards for this show? yes.

do i have to actively turn off criticism and analytical thought? yes.

do i understand why people hate it and why they love to hate it? yes.

but, i dont know. it's so sunk-cost at this point, i can't help but still like adrien and marinette through it all. it's like the baby show, het version of supernatural, where i am watching the secret good version where the slapstick doesn't get uncomfy and marinette is allowed to be flawed without being overly punished in dumb ways, etc., and adrien and marinette get to be cute and good for each other.

[megabunnie]

It took over four months of non stop applying, but my first interview in a decade went really well. It's not much, 3.5 hours a day, four days a week for less than $15/hour, but it's a little bit of cushion, and it works with my schedule for child care. The woman that interviewed me didn't look down on me for spending the last decade and a half doing unpaid labor for other people, which I was happily surprised by.

Things have been so bleak recently. I've been stretching the money as thin as I can and robbing Peter to pay Paul. I've been strategically using my overdraft for over a year now. Between over due medical bills and getting hit with extra expenses, and all the shenanigans with my bank and card, it's been really fucking hard. The ends are getting further and further apart.

I'm hoping to qualify for a medical study to bring a bit more in. If I could figure out how to do it and I thought there was a market for it, I'd sell feet pics and used panties. At this point there isn't a whole lot I'm not willing to at least try to do to dig us out of the current hole we've sunk into. Especially considering it's almost entirely because of MY medical bills.

We're financially responsible people. My spouse has a decent job, $22/hour. We don't buy things that aren't necessary out side the occasional splurge on a treat at the store, and nine times out of ten its for the kids. We don't take big trips. We don't buy the newest trends or electronics. We never have. We plan for months and sometimes years for purchases bigger than $100. We don't buy basically anything new. Not even for the kids. For fucks sake, I plan groceries around the sales and do the math on gas to figure out which stores to go to in what order for the highest efficiency and savings. I haven't bought meat that isn't on discount in over seven years. We dont buy alcohol or cigarettes or weed. Weve never used drugs. We've never been in trouble with the law. Yet here we are. Straining to make ends meet and buried in debt. Because I got sick. I'm still sick. I will always be sick. I can't afford my medication and copays, even though we have the "good" insurance. Going to the doctor literally takes food out of my kids mouths.

I'm not new poor, either. I grew up poor. Pre 2008 we were poor. Like, the only food in the house was from the food bank, electric off, wash your clothes in the tub with dish soap or shampoo, sometimes just water. Stole toilet paper from the gas station. Hid food from my school lunches in my pockets and back pack to save for later. We made it work. We also were eligible for assistance. That's what saved us growing up. I've done this for 30 goddamn years.

Just my spouses income puts us $27 over the income limits for any of it. Twenty. Seven. Dollars. They don't make that much, especially not now that theyve cut the raises to every other year instead of annual. It was usually 10 to 15 cents. It's still 10 to 15 cents.

No snap benefits. We have insurance through spouses work, but the copays and prescription costs are too much. Can't afford to send littlest dude to pre-k because we're over the income cut off. The frustration is real. I just secured childcare so we can have me work - and thats way underpaying the woman doing it, but it helps both families, and even with me working we still can't afford to put him in pre-k. Limited availability hasn't helped me finding a job either. I'm damn lucky to have found this one and it took months and a fucking miracle.

I'm so damn tired. We're gonna make it work.

[echantedtoon]

Sickened

Bakugo x Kirishima

"How could you fucking end up like this!?"

Now some could consider this kind of question to be harsh, but the calmness of the other boy's face chased away any thought of that happening. The vibrant red eyes looked over the state of the pale looking red head lying down on the mattress beside him. He sheepishly smiled and sorta sunk down deeper into the fluffy blankets surrounding him. Even if she didn't have bandages on his forward or pale cheeks he'd still be concerned about him, it was just a habit of his. He couldn't help it.....But he'd never admit to it either. He'd much rather pout and stand there arms crossed glaring at the red headed teen who just smiled back from his position. He always knew Bakugo was one to pretty much yell on first instinct before actually helping. A lot of people saw him as just a bully who never stopped yelling but after knowing him for as long as he did you'd get used to these kind of responses.

"Oh c-c-c'mon, Bakugo," pain exploded from his arm but that didn't stop him from attempting to move his arm towards him, "I-I-I'm ....ok."

The blonde's eyes immediately zeroed in on his arm and his frown on his face instantly became bigger. Kirishima's arm was shaking...BADLY. It was shaking so badly as he reached out towards his friend and his smile on his fanged face hid back pain and tears. He gave a hiss when Bakugo grabbed his arm and maybe a lil harsher than intended, pushed it back onto the bed.

"ARE YOU CRAZY, SPIKE HEAD!?", he yelled at him holding his arm down, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HURTING YOURSELF MORE!?"

"I mean-...It was just a little rain fight," he mumbled looking down.

Bakugo scoffed. "A little? RED!" He gestered to the bed. "You fuckin' got blown away by a dam villain and nearly died!! And all you can say to that is fucking OK?!" Kirishima gave off a nervous chuckle that ending in another round of coughing and Bakugo growling under his breath. "My point proven.....You're not ok."

"I-I...was only trying to help, FatGum. H-He needed time t-t-to blow them away."

The guilt and sad eyes he naturally gave off whenever he thought anyone was upset with him made Bakugo suck in a brief inhale of air. It was hard to be mad at the idiot in general.....but the things he fucking got himself into! He sometimes wondered how he could do these things but he guessed it came from his naturally caring personality and sense of justice. It was both a blessing and a curse. Sucking in a hiss between his teeth, Bakugo sunk down until he was sitting on the bed from Kirishima and stared at him with his famous frown.

"You got a lot of fucking guts and bravery I'll give ya that...but don't forget even rocks can break and be fragile like glass you idiot,'' he mumbled...Bakugo FROZE as something grabbed his hand and it took him a moment to realize he had forgotten he was squeezing Kirishima's arm and hand still. Uh OH! But the red head jus smiled a small smile back and squeezed the hand still squeezing his own.

"Y-Yeah...I-It looks like my unbreakable form wasn't s-s-s-so tough after all." He coughed a few more times and Bakugo just stared at him.

Before pulling his hand away with a growl. "OH! Quite being so sappy dumbass!" To distract himself he bent down by his feet and Kirishima tilted his head at him curiously as he heard the rustling of a plastic bag. "I knew hospital food fucking sucked ass, so I got you somethin' that's gonna make you even more unbreakable!" Leaning back up he held a small plastic containter one would use to store leftover food in the fridge after dinner and a spoon. "Here. I heard soup was supposed to help people recover. I dont care if you like it or not, Im making you eat it!"

"I-I really d-didnt mean to- *cough* get hurt." He attempted to give off a bigger smile which ending in more coughing.

"Yeah..Well you did and now you'll gonna eat those words and this dam soup." He pulled it back when Kirishima moved his arms to take it. "OH NO YOU FUCKING DONT!! You're gonna sit there while I feed ya like the big baby you are!"

Kirishima blinked as Bakugo tore off the lid and wobbled with it over to his face trying not to spill it. "Dude....Seriously?"

"Yeah Im dead fucking serious! If you try hurting yourself while eating what I got ya Ill never for give myself! A real hero has to keep his body in check! Not strain himself until he's broken!" Dipping the spoon in he held it over the bowl and under Kirishima's nose. "HERE! Now eat it before I shove it down your throat!"

It-...It actually smelt REALLY good. He had to look crossed eyed just to see it, but it looked and smelt just like chicken noodle soup! His mouth watered but he was still....unsure as he glanced between it and Bakugo's frown..before experimentally opening his mouth hissing a bit from the pain in his jaws. And true to his word Bakugo shoved the spoonful into his mouth before yanking it back out again. Kiri hummed in bliss. After days of nurses and doctors feeding him mush(with the occasional ice cream or shake snuck in by his BFF Mina or FatGum checking up on him) this warm soup was like a five dollar lobster dinner to a starving man.

"That's delicious. Did you make i-it?," he asked once he swallowed and was met with another spoonful awaiting him.

"Nah. Lunch Rush was serving it today and I snuck some out. I almost got in trouble too! And I could've been caught sneaking it in here. So you BETTER be greatful," he shoved the spoon in again as Kiri went to say something. "And keep the sappy thank yous to yourself dumbass! Don't get the wrong idea! Im only doing this so I can kick your ass later during training! If my rivals are weakened where's the fun in that!?"

Kirishima still smiled at him softly. "Aw. I knew there was a hero in there somewhere. Thanks, Bakugo. Me and my stomach really appreciate this." His smiled widened despite the pain in his jaw. "Id have you save me from bad food anytime."

Bakugo stared at him, a pink to his cheeks-...Before the spoon was just shoved back into his mouth! "I S-SAID DONT BE SAPPY DUMBASS!!"