#but i don't think i'm actually ever helping with that and

[theyluvjake]

our little secrets — lhs

© theyluvjake - all rights reserved, no permission to copy or post, this is my only account.

pt1 pt2 pt3 (make sure to read pt1 first if you havent!!)

Synopsis: cam boy heeseung. class president reader. the schools perfect student harbors a dirty secret, a dirty secret thats alot closer to her than she realizes. what happens when their paths cross? will they discover eachothers little secret?

MINORS DNI!

PAIRINGS - camboy!heeseung x innocent!reader

CONTENT - college au, smut & fluff with plot!! series, slow-burn, multiple chapters.

WORDCOUNT - 8k

WARNINGS - smut, this chapter doesn't have any sex (yet), just mutual / guided masturbation. caming, dirty talk, use of pet names (baby, doll, slut), praise & degradation, honestly hand kink. mentions of corruption kink. like last chapter, hee is a bit of a perv. but we like that <3

NOT PROOFREAD!

"ook.. so, what was that all about?" sunghoon sort of spoke underneath his breath. it was silent for a while amongst the group minus some of them taking sips of their drinks.

"she probably just... - had to pee! " sunoo blurtted out to fill the silence, only to make it fall silent again,

"ill go check on her-" yunjin was just about to turn to leave when heeseung stopped her.

"no, i can go check,"

his smile was soft and reassuring. yunjin was slightly taken aback as he volunteered, but her curiosity in whatever was going on with him and his new found interest in you, made her back down, silently agreeing by nodding her head.

maybe it was a bad friend mood sending a guy you didn't really know that well to check on you instead of her, but she just needed to see where it would go... y'know, for the plot.

heeseung swiftly made his way through the crowds of people heading straight to the guest bathroom,

*knocks* "um.. y/n are you okay?" fuck. wait what if its not even her in there?.. –

shit. why is he here?! the sound of his voice instantly sent your mind into a panicked spiral. - umm.. maybe i can just pretend im not in here and he will go away? yea! so you did, and you stayed silent.

"your friends just wanted to make sure you were okay... well and i wanted to talk to you."

he bit his lip, thinking he was probably just making whatever was going on worse. but he couldn't go back to the group without checking on you.

talk?? to me? why? this can't actually be happening right now. – y'know, maybe it's not him? maybe my thoughts are just all clouded... i'm just making up stuff..

— because there's no way. that would just be too insane.

you were full on in denial. it was unfortunately the only thing you realized you could do to get through the night. closing your eyes you took a deep breath before opening the door eyes instantly meeting the boys pretty doe eyed brown ones.

"um, sorry, yea i'm ok! just... had an eyelash in my eye.." you giggled nervously.

"ah, ok ok... i was worried it was something i said.." the corner of his lips tugged upwards as a small rush of relief washed over.

"is.. that what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"yea, well, and i wanted to still offer you that drink" he couldn't help but smirk as he noticed the light flush of pink painting your cheeks.

you paused for a second. "...well, the thing is i just don't really usually drink..."

"yea, and you usually don't go to parties." he chuckled.

he did make a good point. you didn't, so why would you draw the line at your new experiences now. one drink, that's all. it would be fine right?

"that's also true," you smiled, still feeling anxious, but now having a burning curiosity about him. "sure, i'll take one drink"

he nodded satisfied and before you could register anything, his hand moved to your lower back ever so slightly, just to guide the two of you back towards the kitchen.

the simple feeling of his hand just barely grazing, hovering, over your back was sending waves of electricity through your body.

"so, class prez, what are you doing out at a college party tonight?"

"oh.. um, well it was sort of yunjin and sunoo's idea. i wasn't super on board but... i was curious since i'd never been before."

"ah, i see. i was surprised to see you here." he chuckled, "well, i think everyone was" -

you were about to respond when his voice continued on,

"pleasant surprise though," he said ever-so casually.

you gulped down the knot in your throat and tried to steady your racing heartbeat, but thankfully, before you knew it, you reached the kitchen.

you nervously leaned against the counter while he poured the two of you some drinks before he went to pass you the cup. you hadn't yet looked down, hand reaching for the cup, "thank yo-" then you saw it. his hand.

his awfully familiar, perfectly veiny hand, that just so happened to have 2 identical silver rings on the exact fingers gamer.lhee also frequently had ones on.

you couldn't even finish your sentence before you mumbled something along the lines of 'you had to go', before embarrassingly turning around and completely sprinting away from him.

not long after your disappearing act with heeseung you stayed on the other side of the house, hidden behind yunjin and sunoo, before you managed to make a good enough excuse to leave.

—

after you had gotten home that night, you refused to even look at his page. although that was all your mind wanted to do, to end the burning question and just try and confirm or not confirm that it was him. but you couldn't. not when it felt so possible. not when you knew you had to be in class with him tomorrow.

you attempted to get as good of a night's rest as you could. but it wasn't much, not when you basically got home at 1 am, and weren't able to shut your brain off until around 3 before you could sleep. leaving you with approximately only 5 hours of sleep the next day.

in the morning, you got ready for class, your usual almost uniform-like attire. you just prayed you'd be able to make it through the day without anyone asking about you at the party last night. and above all, not running into heeseung.

you were so embarrassed, you honestly had no clue what you would be able to say to him. it's not like the two of you interacted much, anyways. so why would it be different? yea! it will be fine!

besides before the conversation you two had at the party, you weren't even aware you shared the same literature and physics class, meaning he probably typically sat far across the room from the spot you always sat in. so in theory, all you had to do was try and focus and not think about whether you could feel his eyes lingering on you or not.

however you did not plan for what you saw when you walked into your literature class. lee heeseung, already there, sitting in your chair. sure, there wasn't technically, 'assigned seats' but everyone in the class knew, you sat in that spot every single class.

karma. you weren't sure what for, but this had to be some kind of cruel form of karma. you stood in the doorway for a little too long, to where students now had to nudge past you to get inside the classroom. you were just trying to think of any possible way out of this interaction. but you couldn't avoid him forever. you took a deep breath, fully aware your cheeks had definitely started to turn pink, before walking over to your seat.

heeseung instantly looked up at you with a smirk painting his face, "what? i just figured I'd see how the class president's view of the classroom looks." he shrugged.

"well... now that you've tested it out, could i possibly have my seat back?"

"i don't know... now that i've tried it out, i realized how nice the view is... plus, i'm not doing that great in this class, i think maybe sitting closer will help me with my notes~"

"but-"

"well the seat right next to me is open, you should sit there. you don't mind if i just have yours for the day, right?"

he still wore the same playful smirk on his face, only leading to your face heating up more by the second. you briefly took a look around, at the room, and then the clock. noticing how it was only a couple minutes until the class was starting, and pretty much every empty seat had already filled except for the one next to heeseung.

you sighed and set your books down on the desk, and reluctantly took a seat next to him. before you could even appreciate the shared silence between you two for not even a minute,

"y'know, i didn't really expect you to be the type to ghost a guy mid-sentence."

you gulped and tried to come up with some better excuse but you had nothing.

"yea... um i'm really sorry about that, i don't usually do that or anything.."

he raised his eyebrows curious as to the actual reason to why you ran off, but he didn't push further, instead he chose to use it to tease you.

he chuckled lightly, "don't worry about it, you looked cute running away from me"

he said so matter-of-factly that your jaw almost dropped before you heard the professor speaking, causing the class to finally silence.

"ok class, everyone phones away"

the rest of class, you could barely focus. which was completely unlike you. you couldn't stop thinking about the words.. "pretty", "cute" replaying on loop in your head. as much as you wanted to just pay attention, you couldn't, not when he was only a couple feet away from you.

he easily took note of it too. subtly glancing over at your dazed, flustered expression throughout the entire class.

thankfully, the rest of the class no other words were exchanged. no more teasing or flirty remarks, you finally felt a bit of relief like that was the worst of what would come out of today. but heeseung, he had other plans, he was just starting. this was only your first of three shared classes of the day and his main goal was just to get your attention in every single one.

your next class, you got a break. and then it was on to the two last classes of the day, both of which you shared. economics, and physics.

when you got to your economics class, you took a look around, noticing he wasn't there yet. you quickly took your seat in your usual spot before yunjin joined on your left side.

"ugh, i am so tired," she whined to you,

"tell me about it..." you muttered underneath your breath. the class slowly filled as you chatted with your best friend for the remaining time before the class started. getting so distracted you forgot about heeseung. it wasn't until a little while into class, you heard a familiar voice whispering in your ear. your eyes went wide.

"hey, what page were we on again?"

heeseung. you had been so distracted you failed to even notice heeseung had came in and sat directly behind you.

you carefully turned your head just a little before realizing how close his face was to yours. "um-.. it's 32" you quickly whispered directing your attention back to the front of the room.

"thanks, pretty" he winked before leaning back into his own chair, smiling satisfied.

the heat instantly rose to your face upon hearing the familiar nickname again. the same one that ignited a visceral reaction within you that night at the party, due to the familiarity of the tone, the voice.

the remainder of the class, he continued making up excuses to teasingly lean over, whispering into your ear and your best friend was nothing short of intrigued.

as soon as the professor turned away from the class his lips were practically pressed up against your ear and you felt like you were going insane.

"hey, i missed that part, could i take a quick look at your notes?" he hummed quietly, face so close to yours you could feel his hot breath fanning your ear.

"s-sure, just.. quick" you muttered quietly afraid of being caught speaking while your professor was still mid-lecture.

you carefully passed your notebook over your shoulder, his hands taking it from yours, purposely brushing his fingers over yours in the process. - anxiously tapping the floor with your foot, waiting for him to give it back to you.

"are you almost done?" you slightly leaned to the side, whispering, as the professor had turned around and continued speaking, and you were anxious to have your notebook returned.

"yea, you want it back?" the boy smirked, not that you could see, but you could feel it through the smugness in his voice.

"say please~."

he cannot be serious. "what..?"

"just say please"

you sighed, ignoring the hammering of your heart against your chest.

"please?" you whispered, looking straight forward. but it was more than enough. right as the professor turned away for a brief second, he leaned over enough to place your notebook back onto your desk.

looking down, you quickly made yourself busy, continuing to take notes and try to stuff down all the emotions flowing through your body. that's when you noticed a tiny note written in the corner of your paper.

you look cute when you're blushing. ;)

and just like that you were sure your face was now completely red.

"hey are you okay?" yunjin leaned over noticing how red you were.

"yeah, i'm just hot.. it's a little hot in here" you muttered before removing your sweater.

thankfully the class was nearing the end, finally. as soon as the class was dismissed you quickly packed up your bag and grabbed yunjin's hand rushing the both of you out of the classroom.

"so... what the hell was heeseung doing all up in your space the whole class??"

"i don't know!"

"oh my god, that's why your face was red! you were blushing! do you have a crush on him?? since when?!"

"shut up!" you whispered trying to keep her from practically yelling about this in the hallway. "no! i don't, so since never."

"okayy well can't say the same for him..~" she giggled and you hit her arm.

"shut up. you're imagining stuff." you huffed before the both of you made it into your physics classroom.

this time you were determined to make sure he couldn't sit near you. quickly hopping into the seat next to jake and instructing yunjin to sit on your other side, before you also waved sunoo over, who had just come walking in the door to sit behind you. a sigh of relief left your mouth, seeing how all the seats in your close proximity had already been filled.

you hadn't even noticed heeseung walking in, and taking the seat across from yunjin.

"hey y/n!" jake smiled at you and your gaze lifted greeting him back with a friendly smile.

"hey jake!" - "how was the party last night? everyone was surprised to see you there, did you have fun?"

"oh yea, it was fun.. i guess, - not exactly my thing though." you chuckled quietly before continuing your friendly chit-chat with jake before the class eventually came to a start.

jake was easy to talk to. you two weren't exactly close, but closer than you and heeseung. jake was really good at physics. everyone knew that, so there were a few times he helped you out by offering a few quick study sessions after school at the library. so naturally the two of you did talk when it came to this class.

thankfully, the rest of this class went by smoothly. it was just about nearing the end before the professor announced you would be doing a partner assignment.

"so, pick someone to pair up with. this will be due next week, so please make sure to schedule some time outside of class to work on this with your partner. once you have chosen, before you leave today, just come write down your partnership!"

before you could think,

"hey, do you wanna be partners?" jake smiled, turning to you. and you almost sighed in relief. though yunjin, who had also turned to you, rolled her eyes.

"sure! honestly, i could use some extra help with this unit.. " you smiled to him before the two of you walked to the front of the class to write your names down.

none of which went un-noticed by heeseung. practically burning holes into his friends back. before he could stare any longer he got a backup plan in mind, turning to your best friend just before she had turned to sunoo. "hey, yunjin, do you wanna be partners?"

she was caught off guard at first but then she put 2 and 2 together figuring this was some effort to still get close to you. "sure" she smiled and sunoo rolled his eyes dramatically.

"ugh, i hate you both, you are both the worst." he pouted before turning to sunghoon, "sunghoon, do you have a partner?"

the boy pushed up his glasses before looking up "uh, no?"

"ok, now you do, come on," he said giving him almost no room to even argue before they both walked up to the front together as well.

after all of you had written down your partnerships you all exited the lecture hall agreeing to go to the library so you guys could plan what days you needed to get together to work on the assignment.

"y'know, why don't we all just get together at our house and we can all work together? heeseung was quick to suggest as soon as you all sat down.

"don't the three of you also share a dorm already?" he asked pointing to you yunjin and sunoo to which you all nodded.

"so, since jake, sunghoon, and i share a place and ours is bigger than a dorm, we should all just meet up together there." all of you looked around to see what everyone thought, and it was quickly agreed upon that that was a good idea.

not that you agreed necessarily, but you were quickly outnumbered, on top of that yunjin's enthusiasm was utterly confusing. you all agreed to meet up on friday to work on the assignment. all of you exchanging numbers before going on your separate ways.

—

the next few days rolled around and heeseung seemed to have let down on his teasing for a little bit, and thank god. because you were already stressed about friday the rest of the week. then, thursday came around. your phone dinged as you lay in your bed rolling around on your phone, seeing the notification pop up,

gamer.lhee is live now!

you hadn't even been on his page since the party last sunday. but you couldn't even deny how much you missed it without more time to think, you joined the stream.

you sat up feeling the heat rising to your face, he was fully clothed, the angle just showing his lap and his hands fidgeting with his rings while he chatted with those on the stream.

blushy.baby has entered the chat

"hi blushy.baby, welcome in~" he chuckled to himself, reading the username. oddly or maybe not, it reminded him of you. "cute username, reminded me of someone,"

who??

maybe he has a girlfriend?

maybe a crush?

the comments started rolling in, causing him to chuckle a bit more. "no, i don't have a girlfriend," he clarified, but carefully neglected the ones regarding if he had a crush or not. causing you to try and swallow the lump in your throat. intently watching between the screen and the chat room.

"blushy baby, joins but never talks~ is it because you're shy and blushy~?"

you felt the air get caught in your throat, hearing him single out your username. making your head spin, could he... know? fuck. no! i mean, it's probably not even lee heeseung. like you said, there's no way.

"it's okay, it's cute, i have a thing for cute shy girls." he hummed

blushy.baby: really?

"yes, something about.. about them, i don't know,.. maybe i have a corruption kink." he chuckled darkly before trailing off again ", proud of you for finally commenting something, baby. keep it up, yeah?"

and just like that you carefully squeezed your thighs together. fuck. it wasn't until now, when the comments were so direct, so personal, that you realized how much you loved hearing praises from him. if there was any way to keep you commenting, this was it.

blushy.baby: i will if you keep talking to me like that...

"oh yea?, you like being praised baby, hm? "

"- i was wondering what i should do for today's stream... maybe we can do some praising. maybe some guided masturbation? what do you pretty dolls think?"

the chat instantly sped up with enthusiasm and he chuckled at the eagerness.

"you're gonna be good for me, right?" he hummed his hand lightly grazing over his crotch area where you should start to see the outline of his boner growing.

"alright, now be a good girl for me and take off your pants first hm? dont worry ill follow along." he said as he carefully lifted his hips up in his chair before pulling down his pants leaving him in just his boxer briefs.

like you were put under some sort of trance, you set your phone down against your pillow before lifting your own hips and pulling down your pajama shorts leaving you in just your underwear.

"thats it, just like that," he hummed satisfied, and it almost felt like he could see you. like it was just you and him.

"okay, now leave your panties on, just touch outside for me, hm? just like this" his hand slowly started to stroke the outline of his hardened cock through the strained fabric of his boxers.

and you did the same, slipping your hand down cupping yourself, feeling the moistened material of your underwear clinging to your skin already. letting out a small helpless mutter.

"you're already wet for me arent you? dirty slut."

the sudden use of such degrading words, mixed with his still soft tone, and praises l make your hips shudder. you liked that too... really liked it.

"its ok though, b',cus you're my pretty little slut~, aren't you?" he cooed before letting a small deep chuckle breathe past his lips. he continued, painstakingly slowly stroking himself, the wet patch from his pre-cum leaking out now evident, only soaking you more as you stared at the screen and continued to palm yourself.

"ok lets get rid of these now too, they are in the way." he lifted his hips again just enough to slowly pull down his boxers simultaneously also pulling his shirt over his head. letting his big, stiff and hardened cock hit his stomach as it sprang out.

"look what you do to me.." he grabbed himself in his hand making sure the camera got a good angle of his angry red tip, leaking of pre-cum. "wish i could see what i do to you..." he hummed slowly starting to stroke himself.

on the other side of the screen you were practically drooling just at the sight. your hips needily rutting against your hand. before you too removed the last remaining of your clothes.

"go on, touch yourself." his voice was low and demanding. and it didn't take long for your fingers to slowly start circling your clit.

"mm, thats it baby" he hummed. "now, i want you to imagine its my fingers ok? not yours, mine touching you."

you gulped and closed your eyes doing just as he said and the second you let your imagination roam the better it felt. imagining what his large hands, long fingers would feel like all over you. having the precision that you lacked deeply.

"good girl." - "faster."

at this point, you could barely suppress the whines leaving your mouth, but fearing your roommates would hear you, you turned your head to the side muffling the sounds into the pillow as best you could.

"fuck, i wish i was inside you right now. wanna fuck your tight little cunt." he moaned lowly. and little did you know, the entire time he was thinking about you. about fucking you.

the dirtiness of the words made your brain start to feel weird and fuzzy. your pussy fluttered clenching helplessly around nothing. not even your fingers because still, you had yet to venture into doing anything other than stimulating your clit.

"fuck. im gonna cum. you wanna cum for me, hm baby?" his hand sped up the squelching sounds from the way he was fucking himself into his hand were pounding in your earbuds.

you mindlessly nodded your head as if he could see you, feeling the knot in your stomach building, you were so close.

"lets cum together, yeah? i wanna cum inside you." the sheer thought of that alone sent you flying over the edge the second the words left his lips.

and just like that he started to reach his high as well. imagining what it would feel like to stuff you full. "oh fuck, yes, im coming.." his moans got louder and you continued to rub messy circles on your clit as you rode out your high, your legs and hips shaking and squirming beneath your own touch.

your eyes fluttered open as you slowly started coming down from your immense high. seeing the lewd image on the screen, hee's hand still wrapped around his cock, messy, with cum dripping down everywhere.

"good girl, you did so good for me, pretty." he hummed sweetly. and in that moment you heard it again. not gamer.lhee, lee heeseung. 'pretty'.

it was him.

the sound rang in your ears all you could think about was what it would actually be like to actually be on the receiving end of those words. not through a screen. not to the thousands of others watching him. but to you and only you.

not long after that, the stream ended. leaving you with a world-wind of emotions. but it was already so late. you didn't have time or honestly even the capacity in your brain after all of that to think. you carefully cleaned yourself up before getting back into your bed and passing out almost immediately from exhaustion.

how the fuck. where you going to face him tomorrow.

—

the next morning when you finally woke up, you felt so nervous about the day that you felt physically sick. after the stream last night, it only strengthened your theory on whether or not gamer.lhee was lee heeseung.

you were almost sure of it. and there was no way you could face him today. but yet, you had to.

situation being what it is, you devised a plan, well. kinda. the plan basically entailed ignoring heeseungs presence at all costs. just focus on the project and jake. easy enough, right?

after the day of classes went by, you and your two best friends returned to your shared dorm to get ready before heading over to the boy's house.

"ok, what should we wear?" yunjin spoke almost excitedly as if you were going out to hang out with friends, not work on some boring assignment.

"um... i was gonna wear sweats? what is that not appropriate study attire?" you asked as you walked together through the dorm,

"no that's perfectly appropriate! that's what i was gonna wear too!" sunoo was quick to reassure you only to receive an elbow in the side from yunjin. "OW! what was that-" he rolled his eyes and clutched his side dramatically while giving him a face before continuing with you.

"like sweatshirt and sweatpants?"

"yes?"

"no."

"no?"

"no. how about sweats and a cropped baby tee? still cute but comfy!"

"what is up with you?? why do you care what i wear to work on a school project??" you quickly nipped back at her, unlike your usual demnor, but you were getting slightly irritated, confused as to what the reason for all of this was.

"ok seriously? y/n. heeseung has literally been flirting with you ever since the party, are you that clueless?? i saw all of it in class. plus pretty much all of his friends were eating you with their stares as well. and well, they are all hot. this is your chance!!"

"my chance for what exactly?" you questioned noticing the sudden warmth that had risen to your cheeks. quickly turning away as both of them followed into your room.

"like i don't know, a boyfriend, a sex friend? so many possibilities.." she giggled but not in the way that she was joking, in the way that she was completely and utterly serious. "and that means you admit it right? he was flirting with you!"

"you're crazy. and i don't know! ok! i don't know what's going on with him lately, he's being weird." you obviously were trying to deflect because you obviously couldn't believe let alone admit any of this yet.

"just trust me ok, ill be the best wing-woman, just let me help." she pleaded.

"no, not tonight i need to focus, i need to get a good grade on this project."

yunjin sighed dramatically. "ugh. fine, but you are wearing what i said. i won't interject anything, but the outfit I'm just gonna test a theory ok?"

"whatever.." you finally gave in, just hoping it would make her shut up, and it did. for now at least.

the three of you all got ready which didn't entail all that much since you were already coming from class. you changed into a pair of low-rise baggy grey sweats that pooled at your ankles and paired it with a basic white baby tee that was practically skin tight, just slightly cropped showing the tiniest bit of your stomach. leaving your hair down you fixed your already practically perfect curls, before touching up your flawless makeup.

"you guys ready?" you walked out into the living room finding sunoo, yunjin not far behind.

"yup!"

by the time you guys arrived at the boy's shared house, it was around 4:30pm. yunjin carefully knocked on the door and you anxiously shifted on your feet fidgeting with your school bag before the door was answered. it was jake. you sighed a little in relief.

"hey guys! come on in!" the fluffy-haired boy smiled and the three of you entered into the shared home.

"the guys are in the living room, it's pretty big so we figured we could all just work in there or if it's too loud we can split up around the house, i don't know whatever you guys think works we are cool with!"

jake smiled before leading you all to the living room, not before he got a nice look at you though. he hadn't really taken the time to notice how pretty you were. not until the party when everyone saw you outside of your school persona. but seeing you in his house, in daylight, in casual clothes you looked adorable.

once you reached the living room everyone started to greet each other slowly taking seats around. but as soon as you stepped foot in there you could feel a particularly heavy gaze set on you. heeseung.

you didn't even look at him but you knew it was him. and it was. he didn't even hold back the small lip bite as his eyes drank in your figure from top to bottom only to be brought back to reality when your best friend stepped in front of him.

there was a few other figures lingering around as well. it was jay and jungwon. i guess they didn't need a reason, this is their house but it felt a little strange before the two of them talked. just chatting and letting everyone know they were around if anyone needed help finding anything or food. it was clear though to most that they were just curious, as to what was going on, and more so who was in their house right now.

after everyone got sort of settled in different areas of the room, you and jake took a spot in the corner with some pillows on the floor and spread out your notes and textbooks. "so, did you look over any of the requirements yet?" jake spoke softly,

"oh, uh, no... not yet sorry.." your tone was quickly guilt-ridden and worried before jake was quick to reassure you.

"no, no problem at all, i already did so you didn't have to." he smiled, getting out the instructions given by your professor. "ill just give you a small run-down, and then we can work together on the rest, sound good?" you nodded.

"oh and let me know if im going too fast or you don't understand something, not that you won't... you are like the top student of the school. but just in case y'know,... i know physics isn't your favorite, so honestly, i don't mind doing most of the work!" he smiled reassuringly and for some reason it almost made you blush. you weren't sure exactly why, maybe because you two were finally in such close proximity alone together.

either way, what you hadn't noticed was how heeseung noticed. everything. his jaw was clenched starting holes into jake and you before yunjin brought him back to reality.

"ok, heeseung, could you stop eye-fucking y/n for at least like 5 seconds?"

"what?" heeseung looked back at her barely even acknowledging what she said.

"i agreed to be your partner, god knows why because i know you actually suck at this class, so come on please lets just get something done."

"oh yea... sure, sorry.." he sighed and redirected his focus to the papers infront of him.

about and hour and a half went by and everyone kept to themselves, or moreso, their partnerships. trying to get as much done as possible, before inevitably needing some sort of break.

"my brain hurts..." you whined slightly rubbing your temples. earning a small chuckle from jake.

"we make a pretty good team though, huh? look were almost done in one day!" he gestured down at your work proudly and heeseung overheard the whole thing, getting irritated he walked over to the two of you.

"hey y/n you okay?" your heart dropped hearing the framilar voice, slowly looking up to meet his face.

"oh yea... im fine" you muttered and jake looked up confused as well at the boys sudden approach.

"i just saw you rubbing your head, does it hurt? i have some tylenol if you need some,"

"oh shit, does it? i thought you were just joking around, let me go get some-" jake quickly went to stand up,

"no no!! im fine seriously, i think i just need some water and a snack or something, thats all!"

"say less," jake smiled getting up before offering his hand to help you off the ground aswell, earning a heavy eyeroll from heeseung.

"come on ill show you where we keep the best snacks" he smiled and gently brushed his hand across your lower back guiding you to the kitchen with him. a framilar feeling from when heeseung did the same exact thing to you at the party.

which heeseung instantly noticed and pissed him off even further.

"snacks? hell yea fuck this " sunghoon instantly stood up and so did the others everyone gravitating towards the kitchen for a small snack break.

heeseung followed closely behind the two of you, before he stopped biting his tongue, and decided he had enough of jakes hands on you.

heeseung swiftly came up behind jake,

"hey sim, pretty sure this project doesnt require such a hands-on approach." he glared before turning his direction towards you. jake just looked at his friend confused at the sudden passive aggressive comment.

"you good? you don't need jake to babysit you, right?" heeseung stepped between the two of you creating enough space between the two of you for his comfort. grabbing you a bottle of water from the fridge. "here, and let me know if your head gets worse and you need the tylenol, hm?"

heeseungs sudden attentiveness had your heart racing and your stomach fluttering. and the tension between him and jake was palpable now. you tried to make sure to maintain your composure (you weren't.)

because when you reached out to take the water bottle from his hand you instantly had flashbacks to last night. that hand, his hand, his voice, him. you nearly dropped it when the boy caught it and handed it to you again "careful there pretty, you sure you're okay? –" he leaned in subtly enough to where it wouldn't look suspicious. "or do i just make you nervous" he smirked quickly pulling back before casually taking a seat.

the others were all already sitting around the kitchen table, snacks in hand chatting and eating. You took a seat in the only empty chair, almost as if it was intentional, the only seat open was between both jake and heeseung. You reluctantly sat down anxiously sipping on your water, almost completely silent as the rest of the group chatted among themselves.

"wait, guys i have an idea.." yunjin suddenly speaks up and the misciclanious chatter quiets. "lets play a game... y'know, as a break while were here, - how about truth or dare?"

everyone looks around but it doesnt take but a couple seconds for everyone to agree. partially because all of you were so bored, but mostly because it gave everyone an excuse to procrastinate for a little while longer.

"i'm down" jake and sunghoon immediately responded in which heeseung followed.

"can we play too?" jay and jungwon walked up hearing the commotion from the kitchen.

"the more the merrier!" sunoo clapped his hands excitedly and you almost let your whole head fall on the counter hoping it would hit hard enough to knock you out.

"who wants to go first?"

"ill go!" jungwon quickly volunteered

"ok, truth or dare jungwon?" yunjin asks sitting up on her elbows.

"truth"

"If you had to survive the zombie apocalypse with one person in this room, who would it be?"

jungwon sighed as he looked around thinking deeply about his answer.

"shit... i dont know i feel like im probably fucked with all of you to be honest but, maybe jay or jake? I know jay can fight, and well jake is studying in healthcare so he could probably help keep me alive.."

"yess sirr!" jake chuckled and posed proudly while jay laughed, nodding.

"ok sure, but don't make it seem like i just go around beating people up won..."

the rest of the group went back and forth between some light hearted and casual truths + dares. heeseung, casually pulled out his phone, opening his twitter and deciding to tweet an update to his account as he frequently would. but it was weird,

at the exact same time he tweeted, your phone which was upside-down next to your arm buzzed. weird.

i mean obviously everyone gets notifications, he shouldn't have thought that much of it, but the timing was so perfect. he decided to send another one, and surely enough, your phone buzzed again. his eyebrows immedialty raised. no fucking way.

gamer.lhee: ??

he tweeted a third time, just a random series of question marks and right on time, your phone buzzed, a third and fourth time. and there you were, completely oblivious as to what was happening. too busy listening to the others playing the game to even notice your phone buzzing on the table.

he really had no way to prove it but he had to try. and the fact you were all playing truth or dare made it even easier. he quickly set his phone down and re-focused his attention to the rest of the group.

"ok, heeseung, you haven't gone yet, truth or dare" yunjin smirks and you can only pray to god she doesn't say anything stupid, but you know her.

"truth"

"who in this room would you trust the most with a secret?"

perfect.

"y/n." heeseung quickly and casually responds, to which his best friend gasp offenedly.

"dude are you serious, in a room full of your best friends??" jake scofs

heeseung shrugs, "i don't know, something just tells me that y/n is really good at keeping secrets."

you immediately turned your head, feeling your heartbeat quicken, so fast that it had you debating if you would go into cardiac arrest. why... how.. why would he,,.. why would he say that??? he can't know. how would he know.

you just looked up at him flustered and confused and he just shrugged again keeping the same smug smirk on his face. "am i wrong?" he asked but this time quiet and directed at you.

"ok my turn to ask!" sunoo shouted excitedly, seeing that the questions and dares were starting to pick up in the heat.

"y/n, truth or dare?"

your eyes widened like a warning towards sunoo instantly. what best friends they are. you were practically begging him with your look to go easy on you but you knew he wasn't.

you rubbed your temples trying to gauge which choice would be less lethal. truth, right?

"truth, i guess.."

"ok, when was the last time you thought about kissing someone..." he pauses briefly before finishing the question, "- in this room?"

your face said everything.

"oh?" sunghoon raised his eyebrows curiously as pretty much everyone in the room, except for 3 people seemed surprised. yunjin, sunoo, and heeseung. who wore a smug smirk on his face.

"oh? so, recently then?" sunoo teases further only causing your face to redden even more.

jake quickly also turned his attention to you, although he didn't want to make you even more embarrassed, so he said nothing. just sat in silence wondering who it could be. feeling a slight twinge of jealousy.

"n-no.." your voice quickly betrayed you as your words stumbled out in a stutter. "i don't, i mean, - i haven't thought about,.. kissing, anyone! , ever!"

"you are literally such a bad lair." yunjin scofs

jake quickly noticed how red your face was, and whilst heeseung was relishing in your flustered state, jake quickly took it into his hands to help his partner out of the situation.

"ok my turn, no one has asked me yet!" jake says to the group eyes starting to re-direct to the boys.

"ok, truth or dare jake" jay quickly replies

"dare"

"do your best impression of one of us"

jake carefully looks around before his eyes locked on his target for a second. jake proceeds to sassily cross his arms and roll his eyes hard, before giving jay a nasty side eye. collectively everyone started laughing

"sunoo." the group almost said in unison, as they continued laughing at jakes sassy impression of sunoo.

"hey!" sunoo snapped back but he couldn't even argue as it was completely accurate.

"ok, seriously though this was fun, we should get back to working now though," jake says while others boo and sigh

"hey i never said we couldn't continue this another time?" the rest of the group agreed and everyone went back into their spots in the living room.

everyone slowly got back into working on their projects and jake could tell your mind was elsewhere, so he without asking took on most of the work finishing up the project.

"hey y/n? can i ask you something?"

you turned quickly meeting the boys gaze,

"sure, what is it?" he paused for a minute before he asked you quietly, wanting to make sure no one overheard.

"is there something going on between you and heeseung?"

you eyes widened taken aback by jakes question,

"no, why..?" you quickly responded

"oh, i dont know, it just kinda seems like theres something going on between the two of you lately..."

"theres not! well.." you paused as you thought back to the night of the party. maybe he already told the guys what happened?

"well?"

"did he ever tell any of you what happened at the party?"

jake raised his eyebrows and shook his head, "no, did something happen between you two at the party?"

"no! well sorta... i just, he offered me a drink and i said yes and then i sorta.... ran away.."

you looked down fidgeting with your fingers. honestly you found jake easy to open up too. he was someone who was easy to talk to and instantly made anyone feel comfortable in his presence. so it wasnt hard to be truthful with him. it felt nice honestly.

its not like you couldn't talk to your best friends, its just that, you knew as soon as you did it would make it real. because they would encourage you, and you weren't exactly sure if thats what you wanted yet. with jake, he just was there to listen.

"why? - i mean, whyd you run away?"

"honestly... i dont know" you lied. obviously you couldn't tell him the full truth. you couldn't tell anyone.

"hey, well, if you ever need someone to talk to know that im around" he smiled warmly before playfully reaching over and ruffling your hair.

"i know yunjin and sunoo are great but its obvious they aren't always the most subtle people..." jake chuckled to which you did as well.

"yea, tell me about it."

"im here to listen, and i promise anything you tell me ill keep to myself." he smiled and you could tell he was being genuine.

"thanks jake" you smiled back warmly

"hey, at least we got the project done! no one else seemed to finished today. i bet we will get a 100%" he smiled bumping your arm and heeseung took note of the giggles and closeness clenching his jaw.

"you like her, dont you?"

heeseung snapped his head back to yunjin,

"is it that obvious?"

"hm, not really, well to me yea, but i dont think anyone else has noticed."

heeseung sighed as he admitted his feelings for the first time ever.

"good luck with that, she hasnt dated anyone since like middle school."

"so are you gonna help me out or what?"

"eh, maybe,– maybe if we get a good grade on this assignment."

heeseung sighs like hes doomed bc he knows whatever grade the both of them got on the project would be purely based off if yunjin knew what she was doing, because he did not.

"you are such an idiot, why do you think i agreed to be your partner when she partnered up with jake? its obvious that was the only reason you even asked me. "

"thanks," he smiled

"yea yea, whatever, u should probably hurry up, looks like jake thinks he has some sort of a chance too," she said and both of them shifted their direction to the two of you.

heeseung clenching his jaw as he saw the way jakes hand brushed over your arm.

"does she like him?" he asked gaze still fixated on the both of you.

"no idea, she doesnt talk about any of that, shes always so focused on school i havent heard anything about her having a crush in years."

the conversation slowly simmered out and heeseung got another idea as he saw you finally open your phone. he quickly pulled up his twitter account before tweeting again

gamer.lhee: "you watching me, angel?"

your face immediately turned red seeing the notification, clicking on it and seeing the previous ones. that's when it clicked. the whole time your ringer had been on. he was testing you. he knows.

you quickly stood up and excused yourself to the bathroom, something that was seeming to become a habit now. heeseung followed behind before his arms cornered you against the hallway wall.

"heeseung, what are you-"

he leaned in, dangerously close, lips almost brushing against your ear.

"do you also get this flustered when you watch me at night too?"

- tbc.

dont forget to reblog if you enjoyed it!!! <3 super helpful and appreciated!!

note: also feel free to comment and let me know what you thought of this chapter!! im open to hearing feedback and whatever you guys enjoyed so i can make the next one better!! ^.^ tysm for reading!! hopefully i didnt make too many errors lol..

taglist!: @yohanabanana @heebear @4eeseungz @wonniewonsblog @yangjungwonnie @eugenia29-blog1 @merwdusa @river-demon-slayer @planetmarlowe @woniesbae @ad1m4ise @allthesqueaks @yoonglestangies @clxodyvesprr @millis-diary @immelissaaa @penny44224 (lmk if you'd like to be added <3!)

[formulakracing]

i. now or never - t.w.

pairing -> student intern!reader x toto wolff

word count -> 1.7k

warnings -> cursing, age gap relationships, power imbalance, a little bit of toxicity, toto being sexy (as always), world-building, mentions of marijuana use, mentions of alcohol use, allusions to sexual fantasies, SLOW BURN (fr this time) yadayadayada (if i missed somethin’ lemme know)

a/n -> i apologize in advance if the internship i write about is nothing like an actual internship for mercedes LMFAO also, bear with me. i know it starts slow but it will pick up!

"oh, great. you're bringing up this fucking internship again. why are you always going on and on about this stupid program?"

swallowing thickly, you drum your fingers on the table, shrugging ever so slightly, "why not? i think it would be a great opportunity for not only grad school, but for career advancement. do you know how many doors that would open for me if i—"

"you'd be gone for an entire year. that's why i don't think it's a good idea."

⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺ ‧ ⨯. ⁺ ✦ ⊹ . * ꙳ ✦ ⊹⨯ . ⁺ ✦ ⊹ ꙳ ⁺

inhaling sharply, you bite down on your tongue, suppressing a sharp retort.

why does it matter if i have to leave for a year? it's not like you care enough about my interests anyway.

he arches a brow, cocking his head, "why aren't you saying anything?"

"because it's not worth bickering about," fingers curling around the misty glass, you swirl it around, watching as the bubbles float to the surface, "you're right. i'd be gone for a year. it's such a competitive program. i don't even think i'm good enough to get in. they probably prioritize european students anyway. the deadline for the application is due in a week. there's no way i could get everything together in time. it's not worth all the hassle."

"good girl," he hums in approval, shoving a few fries in his mouth, "you know i support you throughout everything you do. i just don't want you to pour all of your energy into this one project just to be rejected. i know you. you'd be devastated. you wouldn't leave your apartment for weeks."

do you know me though? do you really?

the waitress slips by the table, sliding a receipt toward the middle of the table, "here's the bill, as requested. have a great night! be safe getting home!"

gnawing on the inside of your cheek, you wait until her back is turned. exhaling, you pick up the bill, "i'll get it."

"you sure?" he presses, "i'll cover the tip then."

"sounds good."

fishing your phone out of your pocket, you let it hover over the qr code. typing in your card information, you can't help but notice him fumbling with his pockets, searching for his wallet.

puckering your lips, it's your turn to tilt your head, "did you forget your wallet at home?"

"yeaaaaahhhh," his lower lips quivers, forming a pout, "would you mind? i can just venmo or cashapp you later."

"sure," clicking your tongue, you select the tip percentage on the screen, ensuring that the waitress receives a few more dollars than suggested, "okay, it's paid for. let's go."

he follows in suit as you slide out of the booth, shoving your arms in your jacket. pulling his phone out, his attention is fixated on the dim screen, fingers a flurry as he types away.

"hey, one of the boys is going through some shit. you mind if i catch an uber over to his place? i'll be home later."

"like how late?"

"i don't know," he shakes his head, gaze glued on whatever he was possibly reading, "it's matteo. his girlfriend cheated on him. it looks like he could use cheering up."

"i don't care," your eye twitches, yet you wave a hand, "as long as you don't wake me up when you get back."

"of course baby," he coos, placing a tender peck on your cheek, "get some safe, okay?"

"i will," you nod, "love you."

"love you too!" he beams, pulling you in for a quick embrace, "i'll be back before midnight."

"okay."

it's a quiet trek through the parking lot.

a breeze rolls through the cars, promising of frigid weather. tangerine rays filter through the trees, the sun making its descent toward the horizon. the sky is a blanket of a tranquil blue, with traces of lavender and magenta as dusk transitions to night.

clicking your key fob, your vehicle chirps, the engine roaring to life. opening the door, you nearly collapse into the seat, your vision blurred by tears. sniffling, you ensure your seat belt is on, shifting the gear into reverse.

as you pull out of the parking lot, you catch a glimpse of your boyfriend as he clambers into the uber. you try to wave, to muster some sort of smile, but he is not paying any sort of attention as your car soars by.

at that, the tears erupt into sobs.

by no means was your boyfriend a terrible man. he was more than adequate, actually. however, the sheer disdain in his voice over the idea of your pursuing this internship left a sour taste in your mouth.

to be honest, it was more like an awful, putrid taste, bile rising up in the back of your throat as you wallow over the interaction, knuckles turning white as you grip the steering wheel.

the internship in question?

well, it was more like a job opening.

you left that part out, just so that your family and boyfriend would be more apt to the idea. after all, they did not need to know all of the particulars.

all they needed to know is that you were prepping for the opportunity of a lifetime.

an opportunity overseas to work with the mercedes amg petronas formula one team as a member of their media crew.

the internship spanned over the course of several months, following the team throughout the season. from what you could make out from the application, you would start just shy of the season opener in melbourne, around march third. the end date was unclear, but you figured it would end around the time the season was over in december. in all, you would be away from home for nine months.

and your internship duties? all you had to do was travel to luxurious cities, meet fans, promote the team across their social media platforms, and most importantly, film the races.

and the best part? it was a paid internship. mercedes would not only pay you for working with them, but they would also cover travel costs, food, and even software upgrades. additionally, you would receive a monthly stipend for your own personal spending, just so that you could "enjoy your time with us to the fullest."

it was everything you could have dreamed of and more.

so, what was holding you back?

well, there were a few things.

one, was your boyfriend. he was not keen on the idea of you leaving the country, even if it was only for a few months. he was very adamant that if you were to take this internship, then he would end your relationship.

according to him, nine months was too much for him to do long distance. although, the two of you had temporarily engaged in a long distance relationship before he transferred back home.

two, was your family. similar to your boyfriend, they were not happy about the idea of you leaving. they felt that formula one was too flashy. too extravagant. you would not fit in with all of the wealthy moguls and influencers.

you belonged here, in your mediocre college town where no one ever left. you would fare much better spending every weekend frequenting the same bars over and over again, running into the same people, making awkward, monotone small talk. besides, what if the internship was a scam? what if it wasn't everything you hoped it would be?

and the third reason?

well, it was a bit more complicated.

you had a bit of impostor syndrome, as you felt your skills were not good enough. your editing was too choppy. your transitions were not quite neat enough to fit the speed of the cars. since you were an amateur, your work was mainly posted across your instagram and tik tok accounts. your resume was nowhere near as elegant as the other potential applications.

so, why even try? why apply to something like this?

well, ever since you were a little girl, you dreamed of working in motorsports. you weren't quite sure of what you would do at the time, but you knew that it was your calling.

every time you watched a race or posted an edit, there was a shiver that ran down your spine, goosebumps appearing all over. there was a pull at your heart, nearly tugging away at you.

it was enticing, begging you to keep watching. to keep compiling clips together. to keep creating material that was crafted by you, and only you.

it called to push your creativity to the limits. to chase that dream.

to satisfy that hunger deep in your soul.

with graduation only if a few months, you were running out of time. it was now or never. make it or break it.

it was time to push yourself. it was time to break free from the clutches of your college town. it was time to take the leap, one that you had been putting off for so fucking long.

it was time to finally put yourself first.

to choose something that would bring you nothing but pure, immense joy.

and as you pulled into your driveway, you threw open your car door. scurrying inside, you made your way to your room, pushing the door open. tossing your bag on your bed, you hunker at your desk, locating that bookmarked tab.

everything was in order. you had the letters of recommendation. the personal statement was attached. the resume was completed. the portfolio was uploaded.

all you had to do was press that final square.

submit.

your index fingers hovers above the button, nearly trembling.

squeezing your eyes shut, you apply pressure, a clicking ringing in your ears.

within seconds, a new message appears across your screen.

thank you for your interest in this internship with the mercedes amg petronas formula one media team!

after receiving your application, our team will diligently look over your application and submit it for review.

a decision will be made in approximately six to eight weeks. once we have made our decision, you should receive an email in your inbox. make sure to check your spam, as it may be sent there.

we wish you the best of luck!

[captain-huggy-bear]

Wait.. how was teacher y/n feeling after Quinn was injured.. I know she took good care of him

Went with his oblique injury rather than his hand for this! Fingers crossed Quinn stays healthy for a while now Big requests/full fic/big idea requests are closed at the moment but drabble and prompt requests are still open. Writing Masterlist

"Sit." You point to the couch, the spot you've already piled with blankets and pillows, a cosy little spot just for Quinn. In prime view of the television so he can watch any games he wants, stack of his unread books nearby in case he decides he'd rather read. Maybe you're being overbearing, but you don't think so, not with the way he winces every time he moves, not with the fact he's been told he can't even practice on the ice yet.

"Baby, I'm fine." You're fed up of it, if you're being perfectly honest. For the last few days Quinn has resisted every attempt of yours to help him, to look after him. A stubborn sort of pride gripping him that refused to budge in the face of your fussing. You hated it. You hated that he kept pushing his limits, that he never let his body actually rest, that he was seemingly determined to break himself. You hated that you couldn't fix it.

"Quintin Jerome Hughes, you are most certainly not fine, so sit your ass down and let me look after you." Your voice is sharp, snappy in a way you usually don't use with him. The sort of voice you typically only pull out in class when someone is doing something particularly dangerous or fool hardy. It's rarely, if ever, directed at your boyfriend.

There's a beat of silence, your harsh tone slapping Quinn across the proverbial face as you huff at him, lips pursing, cheeks puffing out in frustration.

He's sitting before he really thinks about it, plopping down in the spot you'd made for him with a, "Yes, ma'am." and letting you throw the blankets over him and wrap him up like a burrito. It's somewhat inconvenient that he can't use his arms, but in that moment, as he watches you fuss he realises that it's not so much for him as for you.

You're fussing to ease your worries, you're fussing because it makes you feel useful, like you're helping when you have absolutely 0 control over how fast he heals from his oblique injury.

Quinn watches you, follows you with his eyes as you putter around getting him something to drink, something to eat, a heating pad, an ice pack, anything and everything. Contradictory items, large and small.

"Baby..."

"What do you need? Have I forgotten something?" You're in a tizzy, frazzled as you plump the cushion beside him like he needs another cushion at all when he's surrounded by them.

"Baby, I'm okay...you don't need to worry about me." You're in your own head, he can see that. You're more worried about him than you've been letting on, letting the pressure build and build until your ready to pop...and maybe he's been neglecting you too. Not noticing, not thinking that maybe his girlfriend might find his constant injuries just a tiny bit stressful on top of her already stressful day job.

"You're not okay...you...you keep getting hurt and I feel so...I feel so useless..." You're breaking in front of him slowly, a few tears slipping out that you wipe away was you turn away from him to hide it. It's not even all about the injuries, it's everything.

Teaching has been more and more stressful lately, deadlines and meetings and parents that don't see that you're just trying to support their child. On top of it all Quinn's injury, his own stress from not being able to play, from the Canucks performing so poorly without him.

"Hey, hey...c'mere, sweetheart," Quinn's voice softens, a gentle reassuring cadence. He's opening up the blanket burrito you'd wrapped him in, holding it open until you crawl in besides him. You're delicate about it, gentle, overly mindful as if you think a single tap might break him, scared to hurt him.

He pulls you tight against him, not letting you hesitate for long and the moment you slot against his body properly? You melt into him like this was all you needed as he wraps the blanket around you and cocoons you inside with him. "I promise i'm okay...you don't need to worry so much, baby."

"I can't help it...I feel useless."

"You're not useless. You've taken such good care of me, baby, but it's not on you to look after me. I'm okay."

It might take awhile for you to believe it he thinks, but that's okay because he'll remind you each day that while his oblique hurts, while he can't play hockey right now he can look after himself. He can cook his own food, wash his own hair, get himself dressed and you? You need to stop taking everything onto your shoulders like the world will end if you don't control it.

Quinn leans back further into the pillows, drawing you down with him as you nuzzle into his neck. Your body is warm against him as you curl into his side, the sort of reassuring weight that he's missed while you've been too scared to touch him.

"It's not all on you, baby. You're not Atlas holding up the world." His fingers stroke through your hair in soothing motions, as much for you as for him as he tries to take some of that stress away.

"I feel like it sometimes..."

"But, you don't need to be, you can't control everything and you don't need to." He knows that's easier said than done for you. You've always been someone who need to be organised, in control, to feel like everything is ticking along like clockwork. The smallest spanner putting everything out of sync. He knows you can't just turn that off, but he wishes...he wishes you could just exist sometimes, not feel like everything depends on you.

"I just...I know you hate being out from hockey and I know you're stressed and I just want to make it better."

"You do, just by being here you make it better." He sighs into your hair, pressing his nose to the top of your head and just inhaling the smell of your shampoo.

Does it suck that he can't play? Yeah, it fucking sucks...but God, just being around you makes it easier. All he needs is you around. He doesn't need you to fix him, to find a solution to a problem that can't be solved with quick fixes. He just needs you.

The sooner you realise that, the better.

[x-kell-variant]

Compliment your writing! It brings a lot of comfort, and I'm grateful for that.

How do you react to positive comments? I vibrate with intense joy and put them on my altar to bless their entire lineage.

How do you react to negative comments? I ignore and delete them. They don't deserve my energy. And I can't please everybody.

Post a screenshot of one of your favorite comments. Screenshot attached

Quote one of your fics out of context. “Get your fake ass gold tooth and chuckle-fuck pony men off my fucking property.”

Vaguely spoil one of your fics without telling us which one it is. He's still alive.

Share the first line of your five most recently published fics. I only have two lol. "There were a million ways I had hoped to start my day, but on the ground in an alley with the taste of my own blood across my tongue, was not how I hoped it would start." and "Logan stared at you as you screamed bloody murder into his pillow."

Share the last line that you wrote. “Still a surprise,” he shrugged, gesturing towards the time door. “After you.”

Tell us your favorite thing to drink when you write. Water because I tend to forget to hydrate all day.

Tell us your favorite thing to snack on when you write. Mike n Ike's, chips and apple slices.

What fandom do you write for most often? Wolverine <3 specifically Old Man Logan

What fandom do you want to write for more often? Invincible (for Omniman and The Immortal bc daddies)

Do you ever write crossovers? Not yet, but I'm sure if it inspires me, I will.

What two fandoms would you write a crossover for? Invincible and X-Men would be interesting.

What fic of yours would you most like to rewrite? All of my old One Direction ones from when I was thirteen LMFAO THEY ARE SO BAD

What is one of your favorite words or phrases to use in writing? "Her breath hitching" is one I found a lot when editing.

What trope is your favorite to write? She makes him soft and he fucking worships her.

What trope have you not written yet, but want to? Friends with benefits to lovers.

What headcanon do you always include in your stories? He fell in love waaaay before he said it or showed it.

What was the last thing you researched for a story? Where Alkali Transigen was located in the movie Logan (2017)

What do you do when you get writer's block? Take a goddamn nap. That's been helping a lot lately.

When do you usually write? The evenings after work, or literally afternoon til past midnight on days I don't work.

Where do you usually write? My shared home office with my husband.

Which fic do you think is your funniest? "And it Feels Like Home" Deadpool x Wolverine; which will never see the light of day (maybe)

Which fic do you think is your saddest? Logan & The Badger

Which fic do you think is your scariest? Haven't written a horror fanfic yet, but I am working on an actual novel that's heavily based on Gravity Falls

Which fic do you think is your most adventurous? Logan & The Badger

Which fic is closest to your heart? This may come as a surprise...but Logan & The Badger

Which fic would you most like to have fan art done for? I'm copying and pasting at this point. Logan & The Badger

Which fic would you most like to have its own fanfic written for? I actually don't know how I would react to this lol, so I guess I'm skipping for now???

Which fic would you most like to see made into a movie? Bitch if Hugh Jackman would come back as old man Logan, I think I might combust with all the domestic bliss I'm injecting into my epilogue. Logan & The Badger hands downnn

Which fic would you most like to write a sequel to? Logan & The Badger

Which of your fic titles is your favorite? I think y'all know at this point.

What title do you want to use, but can't figure out a story to fit? It's funny how bad I am with titles. I usually find them after I write a few chapters.

Have you ever written a fic because you were inspired by a title? Not yet I haven't

Have you ever written a fic because you were inspired by a song? I have playlists upon playlists of songs that inspire my characters' relationships and vibes. You bet your ass I have.

Pick one of your fics and share three songs to go with it. Logan & The Badger! 1) "Work" by Hozier; 2) "Us" by James Bay; 3) "Anyway" by Noah Kahan

Pick three of your fics and share a song to go with each. "Turning Page" by Sleeping at Last is another good song I'd share for Logan & The Badger. For I Don't Tell You Everything, "Strawberry Wine" by Noah Kahan, but not because of what's written on there, it's because of what happens to them in the larger fic

Pick one of your fics and share an image to go with it. Photo attached

Pick one of your fics and share a quote to go with it (not a quote from the fic, but an outside quote that fits) Logan & The Badger - "In this space right here that we have made for each other, you can say anything and I will not abandon you. Unwrap the worst things you have done. Watch me hold them up to the light and not even flinch."

Yet another fanfic writer ask game!

Compliment your writing!

How do you react to positive comments?

How do you react to negative comments?

Post a screenshot of one of your favorite comments

Quote one of your fics out of context

Vaguely spoil one of your fics without telling us which one it is

Share the first line of your five most recently published fics

Share the last line that you wrote

Tell us your favorite thing to drink when you write

Tell us your favorite thing to snack on when you write

What fandom do you write for most often?

What fandom do you want to write for more often?

Do you ever write crossovers?

What two fandoms would you write a crossover for?

What fic of yours would you most like to rewrite?

What is one of your favorite words or phrases to use in writing?

What trope is your favorite to write?

What trope have you not written yet, but want to?

What headcanon do you always include in your stories?

What was the last thing you researched for a story?

What do you do when you get writer's block?

When do you usually write? (day of the week or time of day)

Where do you usually write?

Which fic do you think is your funniest?

Which fic do you think is your saddest?

Which fic do you think is your scariest?

Which fic do you think is your most adventurous?

Which fic is closest to your heart?

Which fic would you most like to have fan art done for?

Which fic would you most like to have its own fanfic written for?

Which fic would you most like to see made into a movie?

Which fic would you most like to write a sequel to?

Which of your fic titles is your favorite?

What title do you want to use, but can't figure out a story to fit?

Have you ever written a fic because you were inspired by a title?

Have you ever written a fic because you were inspired by a song?

Pick one of your fics and share three songs to go with it

Pick three of your fics and share a song to go with each

Pick one of your fics and share an image to go with it. (Unsplash is a good source)

Pick one of your fics and share a quote to go with it (not a quote from the fic, but an outside quote that fits)

[lemotmo]

It was so awkward to watch, eek. Good points though.

Q. I'm curious if you have gone back and re-watched the episode yet? Because the person who was responsible for blocking that 'makeout' scene deserves a raise. They're kissing when they come through the door but they don't have any kind of physical contact from that point on. It's crazy. I mean at one point Buck was supposed to be sucking on his neck and Oliver was nowhere near Lou's actual neck or body. Why include it if the actors wanted no part of actually filming it?

A. I have re-watched the episode, twice now actually, and it is pretty noticeable that they're not actually touching once they come into the house. The show tried, they only filmed them from behind one of them at all times to create the illusion that they were touching when they were clearly just standing in front of one another and going through the motions. But they included it because that's Buck's pattern. When Buck is in pain he uses sex as a form of self medication. They all have very specific ways of dealing with stress or pain. Bobby used to drink, now he cooks. Eddie broods, stews and tries to ignore it. Chimney deflects with sarcasm and jokes, Hen tries to out smart the problem or pain and Buck has sex. That's why the line about "not wanting to need to have sex with everyone he has feelings for' was so loud. Buck immediately needed Tommy to understand that Eddie is absolutely separate from this pattern for Buck. He would never use Eddie the way he used Tommy the night before. But that line also let slip that Buck has indeed at some point at least thought about Eddie in a physical sense, but forced himself to block that thought away by hiding behind his perceived straightness. Buck was very aware that morning that he has no actual feelings for Tommy. He was still baking to try and cope, but because the baking no longer had anything to do with Tommy, it was no longer helping with the pain so he reverted back to what he knew would work, sex. The fact that he could use sex with Tommy as a distraction was even better, except Tommy gave the game away when he admitted that he wants to try again but only because he no longer feels threatened because Eddie moved away.

The point of the hookup wasn't the act of their hookup, which is why we never saw them together on the mattress, the point of their hookup was the conversation between them in the kitchen the next morning. As Tim said they both absolutely used one another. Buck used Tommy to distract himself from Eddie. Tommy used Buck for sex because that's all their relationship ever really was, Buck basically admitted this as well during that same conversation. Tommy thinks Buck is hot and wanted to feel good. He doesn't care about Buck's actual feelings. Because Tommy has mentioned twice now that he knows Buck has feelings for Eddie, he just was willing to ignore them so long as Eddie wasn't physically present anymore. They very clearly showed the relationship as unhealthy and wrong for both of them, and they also showed that both of them are very aware that the relationship is not right. It's why people trying to act like that scene didn't firmly answer several questions is so baffling to me. Tommy exists in the 911 universe, but he no longer exists in it as Buck's boyfriend or person. He knows it. Buck knows it, and the audience was told that in the kitchen scene.

Thank you Nonny!

This exactly! I took a deep breath and ventured out to rewatch that scene. It was so awkward from beginning to end. Oliver did his best, but Lou didn't even try.

The morning after was very telling. Buck was surprised that Tommy was still there. He had fully expected him to leave and he would have been fine with that.

When he sat down on the counter, there was another awkward moment between the actors. I really thought that Tommy would step in between Buck's legs to kiss or hug him. Instead he just strangely hovered in front of him. It was all so weird.

But truly, the whole 'Tommy being happy that the competition was gone' scene was gold and it was the final nail in the BT coffin. They are so incredibly OVER. 😋🙂‍↕️🥳

I agree with all of Ali's thoughts here. And the fact that Tim confirmed it in an interview says enough.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

This is probably gonna be a weird one, so here goes:

I'm not ace and (probably) not aro, but I haven't had any luck in with non-platonic relationships (largely due to my own social anxiety). I'm 19 and I haven't gone on a date or kissed anybody.

I used to feel really ashamed/lesser bc of that, still struggle with that sometimes (societal standards are a hell of a drug) but what's helped me largely feel better about this is talking to and being around aspec folks :)

Seeing people talking about allonormativity and amatonormativity, that worth isn't defined by relationships, that I'm not "childish" or "falling behind", has helped me so much, as well as just being around other people who haven't had any romantic/sexual experiences.

I beat myself up for "failing" these social standards, but by that standard most of my close friends have failed too! But I would never be so cruel to think any of the shit I've thought about myself about someone else, especially not one of my beloved friends. If anyone told one of my friends anything like that, I'd kill them! So if the standards are nonsense, why am I being so cruel to myself?

Being surrounded by aspec people always makes me feel at home (maybe partly bc my childhood friend group turned out to be me and 3 aroaces, so being the token allo is just the dynamic I'm used to lol)

Aspec people are not just part of the queer community, they are important and valued and crucial for conversations of queer theory.

Anyway I don't know what I'm doing here and this is probably super weird (sorry), I just wanted to share and say how grateful I am. For aspec people existing, for the aspec people in my life, for every person who's ever written a Tumblr post pushing back against allonormativity/amatonormativity: thank you from the bottom of my heart

This is so well said, Anon. I think media makes people think everyone who wants to is hitting these kinds of milestones before they're done high school, but it's actually a lot more common than most people realise to get around to them as adults.

Similarly I think a lot of people are harder on themselves than others, but we deserve kindness for ourselves too.

Thanks for sharing your experiences! And I'm glad to hear the a-spec community and culture has been so helpful to you.

All the best!

[dickgraysonsptsd]

Hey, remember me? Idk if you do, but I looked through some of your stuff and you know a lot of what all went down with Devin Grayson's run when it comes to like... Interference from other comic stories and not being able to do what she was planning and also just everything that happened with her and her night wing run.

Can you help me understand what this person who reblogged my post is talking about and how to respond to them/refute their point?

https://www.tumblr.com/titans-thoughts/778916858908884992/the-problem-is-she-also-said-i-never-said-it-was?source=share

hi, i do remember you!! <333 yes, i'm familiar with what this person is talking about. i hope it's okay that i'm answering this publicly because i think this is useful information and context for understanding nw #93 and the 2004 interview this person is paraphrasing.

short answer: she apologized for saying this in 2011 and 2014. grayson saying something harmful one time 21 years ago doesn't negate the points made in that essay.

long answer... content warning for extensive discussion of sexual assault below!

what did devin grayson say about the rape scene she wrote in nightwing (1996) #93?

let's start by looking at the exact text of what grayson said. here is the excerpt from her 2004 comicboards.com interview that this person (and anyone else talking about this subject) is referring to (bold added for emphasis by me):

MSL: Male rape is a topic rarely touched on in comics. Why is it suited to bring it into Nightwing? DEVIN GRAYSON: For the record, I've never used the word “rape,” I just said it was nonconsensual (I know, aren't writers frustrating? *smiles*), but I think Nightwing is suited to cover any topic rooted in human behavior. The Batman characters are unique in that they're not super powered – they're extraordinary people who devote themselves to operating effectively in a very dangerous realm of human existence – crime and injustice and even, very often, mental illness. They are in constant physical danger, to the point that as readers we don't even always respond to that anymore because we assume they'll eventually be okay. I think sometimes it's more rewarding to put them in emotional or social peril of one kind or another, situations which challenge them as people as well as as superheroes. MSL: (Question by dmb1991) Will we be getting a reaction to Dick's rape anytime soon? Ever since it occurred the audience hasn't been privy to NW's thoughts, and I was really hoping you could flesh out that event in Dick's life. and I'm really hopping there will be an educating story to follow. DEVIN GRAYSON: That's very perceptive of you to notice that we lost Dick's narration! That was very intentional – he's so broken down at this point that he's gone quiet inside. I think if you read through issue 100, you'll see some of the response you've been waiting for, but remember, too, that events in superhero comics are often as much allegorical as actual – that is, we're not doing a public service announcement here, we're telling an ongoing, multi-layered story about one individual finding himself at an emotional rock bottom he doesn't know how to fight his way out of.

grayson did not say the act was not rape. she said that she did not use the word rape to describe it and clarified that she personally used "nonconsensual" when talking about it. this is absolutely talking around the issue enough to be a problem (and to qualify as rape apologism, imo--not acknowledging rape as rape IS apologism), but i want to come back to that in a sec.

do i think she spoke poorly here? yes. grayson also thinks that she spoke poorly here and has apologized for basically every line of her responses here over the last 21 years, from not using the word "rape" to talking about rape as something that can be rewarding when used as part of a narrative. her interviews from 2011 and 2014 make it extremely clear that she learned she was wrong for talking about it in this way and apologized profusely for it, even going so far as to apologize for writing the arc at all.

(i personally think there was no reason for her to apologize for writing the arc, but given that people to this day still loudly and passionately claim that writing the arc is proof that grayson loves rape and wanted to rape nightwing, i get why she did publicly apologize for it. people are deeply weird.)

so why, in 2004, would someone not call nightwing (1996) #93 "rape"?

in 2004 in the us, "rape" was legally defined almost exclusively as a female victim being penetrated through force or coercion by a male perpetrator. the us federal government via the fbi to this day still does not consider being forced to penetrate (what tarantula does to nightwing) "rape," which is deeply fucked up. it was only in 2013 that the fbi changed its definition to include male victims in rape statistics at all.

i'm sharing this for some context of what talking about sexual assault and rape was like at the time. it was not incorrect in 2004 for a progressive, educated person to refer to the act of being forced to penetrate a perpetrator as "sexual assault" or as a "nonconsensual sex act" rather than as "rape." i think a lot of people either don't remember or aren't old enough to know how abysmal and evil usamerican culture was about rape in 2004--it was either a punchline, something that happened to a male character's girlfriend to give him angst, or at best a Very Special Episode to Teach An Important Lesson (something that grayson points out wanting to avoid, which i appreciate--rape survivors don't exist to be educational material). we were AWFUL, culturally, about rape. imo that makes grayson's statement in this interview both more hurtful (it sucks badly that a fellow survivor would talk around the issue like that at a time when people were already terrible about it) and also more understandable (being progressive, anti-rape, and pro-survivor at the time still often didn't look great in a 2025 context).

what i think people get massively, critically wrong here is the assumption that because of this one interview line--one line that is very much of its time--devin grayson believed the act she wrote tarantula committing against nightwing was not sexual assault. there's an assumption that because she said this, the arc itself must be written to be titillating, dismissive, trivializing, or to frame the act of rape as not a big deal.

what did devin grayson actually write?

okay. so we've talked about how grayson talked about this run while it was being published in 2004. we've talked about how rape and sexual assault were defined and perceived in 2004. now let's talk about the actual content of the arc and what that means for the broader argument (which people keep insisting on making) that devin grayson thinks it wasn't rape.

i think it's really clear from the tone and writing of the following excerpts of nightwing (1996) #93-94 that grayson was well aware she was writing a traumatic sexual assault arc, and that she was intentionally tying together the trauma of the violation of dick's body (tarantula raping him) with the trauma of being an accomplice to an act that violates his moral code (tarantula killing blockbuster) and the trauma of blockbuster violating his secret identity and using it to kill whoever he can in dick's life. it's violation on top of violation, it's people who want something from dick or blame dick for something taking things from him over and over until he's empty and literally catatonic. it is very, very obviously a dark and serious look at the aftermath of rape.

putting this last bit under a readmore because it's long and includes screencaps of the actual rape scene.

nightwing #93:

above: the beginning of the repetition of "it will never stop"/"it's never gonna stop" that will be continued into the aftermath of the murder and rape.

above: a distinctive red frame is used as dick thinks "never gonna stop... never... stop it... STOP" as he steps away from blockbuster.

we lose dick's narration as soon as catalina shoots blockbuster. the last thing we see him think is "STOP" in distressed lettering. we get dialogue from him again as dick tells catalina not to touch him:

...but we don't hear dick's thoughts or narration again this issue until the final page.

above: the distinctive red frame returns as catalina rapes dick. the last time we saw this frame was in the "STOP" panel, clearly drawing a line between the moment of catalina shooting blockbuster and the act of catalina raping dick.

above: the final page of the issue. dick thinks again, "it's never gonna stop... never gonna stop... never..."

dick is about to enter into a several issue long "relationship" with catalina that overlaps with crossover events. in this arc dick is portrayed as traumatized, sometimes catatonic, and not consenting to being with catalina, who is using him for her own adrenaline high. "it's never gonna stop" will stay relevant because catalina isn't stopping. blockbuster may be dead, but the horror of the situation dick is in is still present. catalina will keep dragging him around like a chewtoy, breaking the code, murdering people, and abusing dick until nightwing (1996) #100 when he turns her (and himself) in for blockbuster's murder.

nightwing #94:

above: dick catatonic on his knees in an alleyway while tarantula is fighting baddies, unable to move or react while he thinks about the gunshot that killed blockbuster. he hardly reacts to a man about to bash him in the head with a baseball bat, lifting his hands up slightly as he thinks about the gunshot, and calling the gunshot (again, the gunshot is tied inextricably to that repetition of "it's never gonna stop" and the final "STOP") worse than the sound of his parents' bodies hitting the ground.

again, we tie the rape to the murder. dick goes from catatonic about the gunshot to flashing back to the rape.

above: catalina takes dick back to a motel room and drops him on the bed. dick doesn't respond to anything she says to him in this scene, instead starting to infodump fixatedly on the gunshot in small italic text. he's not present here. he's dissociating. catalina touches his face gently and stands over him. as dick keeps talking, clearly not responding to her at all, she starts to leave the room.

above: "so if i'd said 'stop,' we would have heard it. heard it and processed it along with the gunshot, simultaneously. 'bang'... 'don't do it, tarantula, STOP!'... bang... stop!... bang..."

as a reader, this is really obviously a rape victim reacting "weirdly" in the aftermath, fixating on the moment that it became real, on odd details, on the "STOP." dick is talking about blockbuster's murder, but he's also talking about catalina raping him.

and now... catalina isn't having fun here. dick isn't her cool crush doing stunts and unintentionally flirting with her, he isn't her trophy, he's a traumatized unmoving mess talking to himself about something she doesn't understand (and doesn't want to understand). so she leaves. this is grayson showing us very directly that catalina is using dick, that she doesn't care about his well-being as much as she does about her own adrenaline rush, and that she doesn't care that what she did to him traumatized him horribly.

now look at the tone of the dialogue when dick is up and about again after catalina returns:

dick: it's epinephrine with a generalized viperid antitoxin. batman developed it as a-- catalina: cool. whatever. dick: no, not "whatever." this is called being prepared, and if you're not, you've got no business taking on a meta-- catalina: where were you, anyway? dick: i... just went out to move the bike. if you leave it out in the open like that, anyone can-- catalina: --follow us? yeah, i noticed. you comin'?

earlier in the run, when dick was acting as a sort-of-mentor to catalina, he would give her these kinds of explanations confidently. now, catalina is cutting him off when he talks. she's demanding to know where he's been. she's cutting him off again, and looming in the doorway ominously as a clear visual sign that she is the villain here--she's the bad guy lurking in the shadows, she's the abusive "girlfriend."

everything about this scene screams that dick is off-kilter, that he's reverting to familiar things--infodumping about a batman-esque subject, trying to be a good mentor--because he's in a crisis and doesn't know what to do. it is SUCH an effective depiction of a rape victim trying to find some stability and normalcy in the aftermath. it is not something that someone who believes they didn't write a rape scene would write.

and that's my 2 cents on "devin grayson said it wasn't rape!!".... i think it was way more than you probably expected/wanted lmao 😭😭😭

[lotuzies]

𝜗𝜚 what is shifting to you?

one of the biggest shifting tips i could ever give someone is actually a question — what is shifting to you?

what does it mean?

no, seriously. put down the phone. turn down the music. forget everything. the countless advice and terms you read on tumblr. now, begin to tear shifting apart, get to its very core.

what is shifting to you? how do you perceive it? what do you believe in? these are all questions you should be able to answer by yourself.

we can get so lost in the vast sea of information available on the internet that we forget to think by ourselves. there are many useful posts, of course, but it's a lot of info that we try to process all at once.

speaking from experience, when i tried to shift after endlessly scrolling on tumblr, a bunch of new information had just been barely processed into my brain, things would get messy. during the attempt i'd think about so many things at once, trying my absolute best to remember all the good advice i had just read, resulting in my brain overworking — when shifting is supposed to be easy.

so, take a moment, maybe write it down if it helps, get a clear image of your beliefs, what you've learned and what works for you.

— but, izzy, how do i know i believe in the right things?

right, this might shock you, or go against what you naturally believe, but when it comes to shifting, there's no right or wrong. everyone's journey is different.

many shifters believe in the multiverse, while others don't, for example, and both get the same results. it's more of a matter of what works for you. no one's opinion should be held to the highest standards.

STOP RELYING ON OTHERS. you know enough.

this is also why you should think for yourself, there are so many different perspectives online, take time to create one of your own. for your own journey.

— but if there's no right or wrong, how do i know shifting is even real? won't that just give me more doubts?

that's why it's called a shifting journey. it's up to you to take your time exploring, researching, experimenting, be curious and build your own answers. my beliefs as to why shifting is real might be completely different than yours. but, if you must know — it's a practice that has been done years before the internet even existed. actually, to build such a big community on the internet, there had to be an immense background of previous information. that's what i believe in.

now, i'm not saying you need to know everything! absolutely not! shifters don't have the answers to every question in the book and that's natural, we are human. but i still believe you should have something solid of your own to trust and to guide you.

keep searching, keep learning, your beliefs aren't set in stone and can be changed any moment, but give yourself some clarity! what is shifting to you?

[starxanemone]

꩜ⴰ ࣪˖ BLLK LOVE LANGUAGE HEADCANONS

isagi yoichi & itoshi rin ( as per @newinhalerpls request )

⸻ in which i'll be rating their love language on a scale of 1-10 based on my understanding of their personality + include the type of person they'd be compatible with.

⸻ [ part i. itoshi sae & nagi seishirou ] [ part iii. bachira meguru & noel noa ]

ISAGI YOICHI

ACTS OF SERVICE: 9/10. Out of everyone in Blue Lock, he's the only one (or one of the very few) characters with a decent mental health and thus, have a secure attachment style—at least, based on my observation. He seems like a genuinely nice person so he strikes me as someone who'd be really helpful towards their significant other even when it's unprompted. You don't have to tell him if you need help with something because he's probably on it already.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: 9/10. Although this guy has such a dirty mouth when playing soccer, off the field, he's actually pretty nice. He even comforts his rivals and isn't really afraid to say when he feels really grateful. You could be doing something as simple as picking up something he dropped and he'd probably give you a small smile with a grateful look on his face as if you handed him the world—that is, when you're his significant other.

Exhibit A: when he thanked Rin for the assist when he scored the last point in the U20 match. Technically, considering their relationship and the nature of Blue Lock, he wasn't obligated to thank him, but he personally felt the need to express it.

PHYSICAL TOUCH: 7/10. He's probably not the type to initiate it, but he's definitely not against it especially if it's his significant other. At first, he'd probably be all awkward and unsure since no one really showed romantic interest in him (according to the Egoist Bible as he hasn't received chocolates on valentines), but he eases into it pretty fast. You just have to be the one initiate all the time. Also, I feel like he doesn't want to feel like he's intruding your personal space which is why he holds back.

QUALITY TIME: 7/10. He strikes me as an independent person, but not the type to isolate himself or retreat into a little shell. He'd probably be the type to think that when you're in a relationship, there are sets of "obligations" he wants to fulfill as a significant other such as remembering significant dates, spending quality time by going out or even just staying in, etc.

GIFT GIVING: 8/10. He gives gifts when there is a special occasion like christmas or your birthday or whatnot, but he probably thinks that he's not all too great at picking out what gifts to give. I feel like he's the type to get you things that you once mentioned you wanted at one point in the past. Like if you say that you wanted a watch about three months ago, that's probably the gift he's going to give you for the next special occasion.

COMPATIBLE WITH: honestly, he looks like he can get along with anyone so long as you're both able to treat each other with respect. It doesn't matter whether you're outgoing or more introverted, or love to explore or stay indoors. I think that with this guy, what matters more is having equal respect for each other.

ITOSHI RIN

ACTS OF SERVICE: 6/10. He's a pretty angsty and irritable teenager on the exterior, but if he warms up to you, I'm sure that he's always helping you, though it's more for his sake than yours. He seems like the type to feel a bit annoyed when something's out of place, so if he sees that your bag's about to fall off your shoulder, he's immediately grabbing it and putting it back in place.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: 3/10. Not the best at words (he probably got that from his brother). He's not going to comfort you with words or reassurance if you're feeling down, but I think he has the decency to at least stay quiet and listen if ever you're sharing your feelings; it's just that he's not really sure what to say. The best reassurance he can give is by objectively telling you how a situation could likely play out.

PHYSICAL TOUCH: 2/10. Sorry, but he doesn't look like the touchy-feely type. The best he can probably give is a pat on the shoulder that might feel a bit heavy with how he works out a lot. It would be up to you to initiate stuff like hand-holding or hugging, but I'm quite sure that that will take a very long while for him to warm up to.

QUALITY TIME: 7/10. I feel like this is the best love language for him. I feel like he's the type to prefer hanging out in peace and quiet, doing mundane things if he isn't vigorously training. The best hangout would probably be something like watching a scary movie together or chilling on the couch playing scrabble or whatever. Still, I think he'd want hangouts to not be so frequent as he gets pretty tired from social interaction.

GIFT GIVING: 5/10. He knows that couples usually give gifts to each other, but he doesn't really see the point in doing that unless the object he's going to give is something necessary. Basically, he doesn't like giving useless shit that will wither and die in a few days. So, he probably wouldn't randomly buy you romantic stuff like flowers or give you letters, but he'd definitely give you something useful like a pouch, or a table organizer, or a watch if you don't have one.

COMPATIBLE WITH: someone who is empathetic, but also able to set boundaries. I feel like he spent a lot of his time brewing negative feelings due to the disagreement between him and his brother and their lack of communication, which is why someone who is empathetic and isn't afraid to articulate their own feelings is suitable for him. He needs someone to learn from as he doesn't even know how to healthily process and assess his own emotions. But still, they should also be able to set boundaries and know how to stand up for themselves because he tends to be pretty harsh with his words.

[workingonasongbird]

I'm in mixed minds about this because on the one hand, SOTR does give what we know about Annie's Games the potential to be another rebellion attempt, but on the other hand, some of the information doesn't really add up.

The key things we supposedly know about Annie's Games are that the dam broke after an earthquake, flooding the arena and allowing Annie to survive as the strongest swimmer, and that Annie had some kind of complete mental breakdown after watching her district partner be beheaded.

If Annie's Games had happened a longer time ago so that Katniss and Peeta would have had to rely on the edited recap tapes to know what happened, I would be more inclined to believe that the 70th Hunger Games might have been more than what the trilogy suggest them to be. But as the 70th Hunger Games were quite recent and clearly not very popular as Annie kind of faded into the background, the information we do have on them is more likely to be what Katniss and Peeta remember from watching the Games streamed live.

Peeta is the one to give us all the information on Annie's Games in Catching Fire. At the time, Katniss was preoccupied with trying to feed her family after the death of her father. But Peeta was likely paying quite a bit of attention that year because the 70th Hunger Games was the year Katniss and Peeta turned 12 and became eligible for the reaping for the first time themselves. Even if Peeta wasn't in the Games that year himself, we know from his note taking in Catching Fire, his interviews, and the way he acted in the 74th Games that Peeta really pays attention. He knows how to play the Games and how to play them well, so I wouldn't be surprised if he spent a lot of time studying them from a young age.

(This turned out to be a longer post than I expected. A lot more under the cut. SOTR spoilers included.)

But let's say for argument's sake that Peeta didn't remember the details of the 70th Hunger Games. Finnick definitely would, and do you not think that if the love of Finnick's life had previously been involved in a rebel plot he might have mentioned it at some point? It makes sense he would keep quiet in Catching Fire, but in Mockingjay when the Capitol aren't watching and all he can think about is Annie, Annie, Annie, I find it hard to believe that he wouldn't mention it.

Then there's what we are actually told about Annie herself in terms of the rebellion:

“Oh. Good. Because I worry about that with Annie. That she’ll say something that could be construed as traitorous without knowing it,” says Finnick.

“Well, they didn’t arrest her because they thought she’d be a wealth of rebel information,” he says. “They know I’d never have risked telling her anything like that. For her own protection.”

These quotes don't exactly scream that Annie herself was ever an active rebel before widespread uprisings broke out in Panem. If she was, Finnick would know about it, especially because she relies on him to help her differentiate between falsehoods and reality. If she was involved in a rebel plot in her arena and Finnick didn't know about it... that's a massive and potentially dangerous thing that she could easily get very confused about.

It's possible that if there was a rebel plot in the 70th Hunger Games, Annie wasn't the chosen tribute to carry it out, but I do think that is unlikely. Mags - a known rebel - was probably her mentor, so Annie would be an easier tribute to communicate plans with, and getting a tribute from another district to blow up a dam and cause a flood is going to take a lot of persuading because tributes from the other districts generally can't swim. Blowing up that dam on purpose for anyone not from 4 is effectively suicide, and I don't think every tribute is willing to be as self sacrificing as Haymitch and his allies in SOTR.

Which brings me on to the flaws in the dam being part of a rebel plot itself. Blowing something up in attempt to cause a flood is a tried, tested, and failed rebel idea that the Capitol are aware of. Even if the greater public aren't aware of what Haymitch did, Snow and the Gamemakers definitely are, and a lot more precautions would have been put in place over the years to make the arenas impossible to tamper with from the inside. Another flood seems like something the Capitol might catch on to pretty quickly, and if Annie started to act like she even had the idea to tamper with the arena, I think the Gamemakers might have taken her out pretty quickly.

The idea that the dam breaking has to because of some kind of rebel plot or outsider influence (like the theory that Finnick slept with a Gamemaker to convince them to break the dam to try to bring Annie home) is an interesting one, but it doesn't have to be the case. Gamemakers do make mistakes. We're told about whole arenas that were either flat out boring or great in theory and then poorly executed (like Wiress's Games). The earthquake breaking the dam could have been a miscalculation on the Gamemaker's part. Or it could have been intentional as a way to wrap up a Games that might have been going on too long.

As for Annie's mental illness: she witnessed a beheading. That's a super traumatic thing to go through, to which experiencing a psychotic break and long lasting severe mental illness as a result is a very realistic response. Not everything needs to be super significant to the rebellion effort for it to affect someone severely. Sometimes people are mentally ill because they are mentally ill rather than because the plot demands it, and that's okay.

"Oh, but Haymitch saw Wellie's decapitated body and he wasn't super traumatised by it!" shush. Haymitch is hardly a paragon of mental stability, and different traumas affect everyone differently.

I've seen some arguments that the recap of Annie's Games might have been edited to make her look like she was hiding for most of her Games to cover up that she was actually defying the Capitol (especially because that does make for a pretty dull recap, and the Capitol usually avoid dull Games at all costs). And while that is definitely possible, victors have won just by hiding before. (Exhibit A: Wiress).

But despite the slightly lengthy argument I've just made, Annie potentially being a rebel IS an interesting idea, and one that I will continue to think over until the day I die.

we know Lenore Dove didn't die of appendicitis, and Mags didn't have a stroke. Gale isn't Katniss's cousin, and Haymitch's house fire wasn't an accident.

so.

did Annie Cresta ACTUALLY "go crazy after she saw her district partner beheaded"? or was there something more? Suzanne get ur pen back out NOW

[softie-rain]

A small study on the difference between how Lucy Gray Baird and Sejanus Plinth haunt the narrative

contains spoilers from Sunrise On The Reaping!

Little disclaimer: this is my personal interpretation of the books and the characters! You're free to disagree with me, but please be nice about it :)

While less talked about, Sejanus haunts just as much as Lucy Gray does. But while Lucy Gray haunts the narrative, Sejanus haunts Snow. Let me elaborate on that.

Coriolanus, through the books, always seems to be followed by Lucy Gray's ghost[metaphorically or not, I'm not implying she's officially dead]: Haymich's girlfriend being a covey, Katniss and the mockinjay, The Hanging Tree song. I don't think he ever forgotten about her, probably tries to, but she's always there to taunt him.

Snow despises Lucy Gray because he doesn't have any control on her. She's a "free spirit", he thinks he has control over the narration of her Games and life yet snaps any time he's reminded that, in fact, he doesn't (ex. when he sees Lenore Dove). Snow wants to keep Lucy Gray a secret, he doesn't want anyone to know about her, to know what happened to her. He's scared people will find out what happened in the woods.

And if you think about it, Snow's issues with Lucy Gray have always been about that, began with that idea: "no one has to find out about this, and I'll make sure every obstacle is gone, dead or forgotten".

Her references in Sunrise On The Reaping are explicit, because Lucy Gray haunts the narrative. Lucy Gray "flies" over the story and influences everyone in it with her disappearance (the many songs that are mentioned, the way Snow talks about her to Haymitch, Haymitch being shown the interview etc.).

And Sejanus?

Sejanus doesn't haunt the narrative, Sejanus haunts Coriolanus Snow.

Sejanus' "haunting" happens to a more personal level than Lucy Gray's does. Sejanus' death doesn't affect the narrative (to an extent), it affects Coriolanus personally. Coriolanus isn't scared of anyone finding out about Sejanus and his death, everyone knows about him and the way he died, but no one is affected by it the way Snow is.

Lucy Gray haunts Coriolanus and the narrative in a "You can't escape me and what you did. You'll be haunted by me and what you did to me forever". Sejanus haunts Snow in a "You can't forget me. I'm everywhere, but only for you to see me. You don't feel guilty for what happened to me, but I'll always follow you."

The proof of this is that while (as I previously said) Lucy Gray's references in Sunrise On The Reaping are always explicit because the reader has to get them, the same way Haymich does (even while not knowing Lucy Gray at all), Sejanus' references are subtle. They're "quiet", you don't catch them unless you pay close attention. And that's because they're only for Snow to get. They're not actual references, they're things (anything) that only Coriolanus will forever associate to Sejanus. I already made a post about those references, so here's a quick recap:

1. Drusilla being related to Prof Sickle, whose pupil was Sejanus; 2. The peacekeepers discussing the gym used as training center, gym payed by Strabo to ensure Sejanus' graduation; 3. Haymitch letting a rabbit guiding him through the Arena, and Dr. Gaul comparing Sejanus to a rabbit when they escaped from the Arena with Coryo; 4. One of the D2 tributes being named Janus; 5. Lenore Dove loving gumdrops, and Snow poisoning her with them. Gumdrops, the same thing Coriolanus associates Sejanus with since it's what he was holding the first time they met; 6. Haymitch imagining of a peackeeper in 12, hung for helping the rebels.

All of these references are subtle, some might even say "a stretch". Yeah they're subtle, yet so many of them are somewhat "important" to the plot. But you wouldn't associate them with Sejanus, would you? No. Not unless you're Coriolanus.

Don't get me wrong: Snow doesn't feel guily about Sejanus. But while Lucy Gray haunts him in a more "terrifying" way, Sejanus haunts him in a natural way. Snow doesn't care about it, Sejanus' memory isn't a threat to him like Lucy Gray's is.

And so, once again: Lucy Gray may haunt Snow and his narrative. But Sejanus haunts Coriolanus Snow personally.

[iminyourwallsbabe]

Quotes that are inaccurate to the hit TV show Arcane

Jayce: I fell in the shower today and my dumbass tried to grab the water

Caitlyn: A shimmer fiend told me "I see so much of myself in you" NO TF YOU DON'T??

Silco: She's the best girl around

Everybody else: What about the murders?

Silco: What murda?

Jayce in every single council meeting ever: A black woman is speaking, listen and learn!!!

Jinx: I'd abuse the FUCK out of a PhD I'd just start making shit up

Mel: I can't take this anymore I gotta fuck him

Young Vi: Vander ain't raise no bitch and if he did it's my brother

Ekko: I love hanging out with some bad bitches who are a bit peculiar

Vi: If you see me with a Piltie mind your business, I'm trying to get our land freed

Maddie: Dated a British girl and broke her heart, that was for Ireland

Jayce: Having a crush is low-key ruining my life but if you saw her you'd understand

Caitlyn: Describe her

Jayce: I don't want you imagining her

Sky: If an ant hits you at 10000 mph would you die or does it not matter?

Heimerdinger: No because nothing matters in this world

Viktor: Everything matters, this is all that we have

Sevika: Slut shaming is dead. I respect whores more than I respect the council of Piltover

Sky: Go white boy go! No white boy not like that... white boy I've never seen anyone fuck it up like that

Mel: You have no idea what I would be capable of if it wasn't for the generational curse. If I wasn't dealing with all this evil wizard bullshit you would be unequivocally fucked

The black rose: I actually had nothing to do with that, maybe try some Lexapro?

Caitlyn: I like kissing Zaunites, they kiss like they're hungry

Vi: Our food don't got nutrients

Viktor: May need to shelve the new Hextech product I'm working on. In my desperation to get it done I have accidentally subjected myself to the conditions of the russian sleep experiment

Jayce: I don't have PTSD, it's the wizard's curse

Jayce: The wizard is my lab partner but I don't think that's relevant

Jinx: Do you think you could take a vampire-

Vi: Hell yeah

Jinx: ...In a fight

Vi: Oh

Cassandra: Girl help my executives are dysfunctioning

Ekko: I've tasted the future and the past

Heimerdinger: What did it taste like?

Ekko: Shit, let's give up now

Jinx: Why did I get group voted to be the crackhead?

Sevika: No you're the president

[crowwolf]

This is Kitalia - She's a bit creepy, pretty - SHORT 4'11", and tiny at about 90 lbs - and made of pure chaos. She's 1/2 mixed up fey ancestry, 1/4 wood/Sylvan elf, and 1/4 unknown... She's a shadow sorcerer/bard

1. How would they define love if asked

They wouldn't really know. Kitalia was brought up in an extremely harsh way, rescued eventually, then raised in a way that they thought would make her wily and independent. No physical show of real love, no words of love, just survival of the fittest and I'll check in to make sure you're alive.

2. When someone says "this is [character name] coded," what comes to your mind

A mix of Kit Deluca from pretty woman, Harley Quinn a la Suicide Squad, and a manic pixie

3. if somebody told the character that they admire them what would they feel and how would they react to it

Kitalia would laugh her ass off - literal tears, grabbing her belly, full on can't even talk laugh. She doesn't believe anyone would ever feel like that towards her.

4. How much weight do they give to others' opinions of them

Acts like she gives zero fucks. Internalizes it ALL. Full of inner voices screaming at her.

5. When bad things happen, do they usually think it happened to them or because of them.

All because of her. Always because of her. All her fault.

6. How well do they cope with the reality of their mortality

Welllll...this is a tricky one. I don't want to give too many spoilers, but suffice it to say she doesn't. She's old. Way older than she looks. Younger than folks like Raphael, but older than Halsin old.

7. How easily and frequently do they ask for help

She doesn't. Ever. Asking for help would show she can't survive on her own, her caregiver would consider that weakness. Once she is finally settled in a loving life and is finally comfortable enough she will ask occasionally - but this is centuries of not doing that, so it will take time.

8. What is their perspective on religion and the concept of God

LOL that's a loaded question. She's BG3 universe - Gods and Goddesses are real. She's ambivalent about them, hates some, has a deep love for a certain one - but not a worshipful love.

9. When in pain do they take it out on others or do they keep it inside She will internalize it until it's bursting out and end up taking it out on others - usually someone she picks as an enemy, but often anyone nearby.

10. Their most defining moment vs your favorite one of them

Meeting her bff. In the modern Au that's Ryldinn, @vera-king-hrfl 's OC. They are obviously not related, but fuck if they don't act like twins that were never separated. They have their own hand language and everything. These two bonded hard. In regular BG3, I'm HC that my girl gets with @vera-king-hrfl's other OC Max, the half-orc - bffs turned lovers. Which is hilarious. Giant half-orc, tiny crazy fey lady.

11. One word they'd use to describe themselves, one you'd use to describe them and lastly a word that their closest/loved one would use to describe them

Chaos. Kit would probably say free. Loved ones - um, would be two words - ferociously loyal/loving (once she's bonded to them)

12. How committed are they to their principles, and what might get them to abandon them

LOL um, well, she'd never hurt a kitten so I guess that's something. The only thing she is committed to are the ones who have somehow managed to gain her trust and love - she would never abandon or compromise on that, even on pain of death

13. Is there a moral line they would never cross

See above - if it doesn't involve loved ones, she has zero fucks

14. What could be considered as their worst moment

Absolute worse moment for her would have to be being rejected by the one who has her heart after all this time or her *perceived* rejection - they may be trying to propose awkwardly but she's no compass in regards to interpersonal shit and would think they were leaving her...she'd break. She'd run off before they could actually make their point and they'd have to try to find her. Which would require help because she's been raised to basically be a chameleon when it comes to hiding. She's epic hide and seek material.

15. Do they have a stomach for violence and harm and if so do they only do it out of necessity or at any whim

LOL She's chaos - you hurt someone she cares for - verbally or physically, doesn't matter - she will FUCK you up. Short fuse for anyone not in her inner circle.

16. Do they idolize anyone, if so why is that

Her grandfather - he was her caregiver, the one who checked to make sure she was alive, but left her to fend for herself - finding her own food and shelter. Occasionally he would stay for extended periods to teach her new killing methods, new fighting skills, new languages, new anything sneaky and assassin like (she's not an assassin). Getting her to show him her latest magic or songs. He will praise her but is very biting in any criticism - his vision for her is make her tough, fast, invisible. That's it.

17. How open are they to change their viewpoints on matters

Depends on the situation. Most times - she goes with the flow...unless it's something she's fierce about, then not at all

18. Are they vengeful or do they easily forgive and forget or do they not forgive but don't go as far as acting on that

She absolutely holds a grudge and has a long LONG memory

19. What's their strongest emotion, the one which mostly rules them and compells them to action

Devotion. Once she has her found fam - her devotion to them will make her take the dumbest of risk. She won't care about living or dying, as long as her loved ones are safe.

20. Are they more inclined to take or give

Give. She wants nothing (she thinks).

21. How much do they prioritize their own survival, and what lengths would they go to for self-preservation

Girl was raised to hide and watch the shadows - she'd sit for days without food or water before moving if there was a threat big enough. BUT once with her found family - she prioritizes them...oh wait, basically the same.

22. What is their relationship with their body like She doesn't really think about it. It's her survival engine. I mean, she knows she's objectively attractive, but was extremely abused as a young child and has a disconnect between what her body means.

23. How connected do they feel to their community and society

Not at all - except her found fam

24. Do they self harm and if so in which way

Unintentionally - see survival instincts above. She was starved as a child and her growth stunted, she doesn't always know when she's hungry, but when she has access to food - watch out. She has the metabolism of a hummingbird and can out eat most people twice her size - but has to do it over a period of time. She's tiny = small stomach. If she eats too fast, she'll vomit and be in pain, so she learned to eat small portions a little at a time. This can be extremely difficult when always trying to stay hidden away and quiet. Once with her found fam - she's constantly got food in her hand or pockets - they'll even start carrying snacks for her in case she gets hungry and has nothing. It's the only way to keep her healthy.

25. What's the worst physical or mental pain they've ever endured

When she was very young, her father's best friend slit his throat in front of her and stole her away for nefarious purposes - physical, mental, sexual. She's a long lived person - maturing is slow. She was FAR too young for any of it. Eventually, the abuser let their guard down and the spell they used to shield her from her living family faded enough for her grandfather to rescue her. Grandfather of course slaughtered the abuser, and did at least take her somewhere relatively safe-ish to heal physically. She doesn't remember her father, though if she did she'd know he loved her deeply and was amazing. She never healed mentally - not properly, not ever - the abuser had her for decades. It's absolutely a large reason she's chaos - if you asked me her alignment - I just say chaos, there is nothing else. She does what she does to live, to protect herself, her loved ones and that's that.

26. How do their family and their relationship with them influence their perspective and the way they navigate life

She never had real love in her life - not the true I want what's best for you and won't ever force you do to shit type of love. It's crazy to her - and once she has it, she guards it as the most precious of treasures. Physical items are meaningless to her - she was always homeless - having things, meant carrying them wherever she went and that was pointless. So having a home, a family - mind blowing. She'll sometimes have panic attacks when she thinks on it too much.

27. Are they content with their sexuality and gender expression? would a difference in their sexuality and gender affect their role in the story and if so how

My lady is pan and is who she is. She'll fuck whoever she wants but doesn't really understand people being emotional over it. Until she has her family and learns love - that makes her see it...

28. How much importance do they place on their appearance, and on others' appearance

LOL none - she gives zero fucks. Astarion insists on dressing her because she would happily wear rags. BUT she'll sit with him and Shadowheart to judge what the patriars are wearing.

29. What criteria do they use to assess others' character

Will they hurt and/or kill me? If no - yay! If yes - kill them first.

30. Do they take themselves too seriously

Never.

31. How easily do they forgive themselves after making a mistake and how easily do they forgive others

Kitalia doesn't forgive herself, she makes herself correct any mistakes if she can, and if she can't - she carries on. Others - that's a loaded one. If it's her fam - it depends on what they did. If it's someone outside her inner circle, well - they FAFOed.

32. Are they more concerned with the bigger picture or are they hung up on the details

Neither really. Maybe the smaller details - best place to find food, best place to hide, best place to protect.

33. Do they prioritise other people's needs over their own or the other way around

Found family first, then her, then others if there's time

34. What do they believe their hands were made for

Magic and music

35. Do they consider themselves lucky or privileged

nope

36. What is their level of emotional intelligence and social adeptness

LOL the depth is an inverted pool...poor woman, she has zero clue socially and emotionally so stunted she makes tweens look mature. She understands herself more than people think, but social cues and reading emotions - nada.

37. Presented with three different ponds offering eternal health, strength, or wealth, which one would they choose to drink from, they can only drink from one

Health

38. In the event of an apocalypse with only one limited safe haven available, whom or what would they prioritize bringing along

Her loved ones - which are very very few...

39. If they could end one thing—be it a person, ideology or misfortune—what would they choose to eradicate

Poverty - no one should have to dig through trash for food.

40. Would breaking their heart be a quick task or would it require significant effort

It would be quick and brutal

41. Are they comfortable expressing their emotions and thoughts

Not at all.

42. If given the chance to bring back someone from the dead, who would they choose and why

Her father. She's been told he loved her deeply just because she was his daughter. She doesn't even remember his face.

43. With whom or when do they feel most authentic and true to themselves

Alone with her significant other(s) - absolutely no one else around.

44. Do they believe they are more in control or being controlled (by others, their circumstances or their life in general) and are they correct in their assumption

Neither really. She knows she's not really in control, but she's so much chaos that no one can ever truly control her.

45. What is their fatal flaw

Her extreme loyalty to her found family - she would kill herself to save them. Also - her complete lack of care for herself.

46. To what extent does shame or guilt influence their psyche.

Her psyche is damaged from decades of abuse...not really sure she understands either emotion - but once with her found family they help her to recognize and cope (as much as she can) with them. Her youth was stolen from her so she feels no shame or guilt for those decades - but when she does, she buries it deep until it comes out in nightmares.

47. If they were an object, Which material(s) would they be made of Spider silk - incredibly strong, but fragile

48. What gets them out of the bed each morning and how obvious is that motivation to those around them

Survival - once she's with her found fam - they do. She's not totally dependent on them for that, but they give her more of a purpose in life that she lacked

49. Do they believe there's a cause, person, or a goal worth sacrificing their life for

Her family

50. If faced with a magical mirror revealing their deepest fear and greatest desire instead of their reflection, what would they see and would they be surprised by it

Greatest fear would be being alone forever. Greatest desire - just *being* with her loved one(s)

51. What does responsibility mean to them and do they embrace it or take it on reluctantly

Responsi-what? Yeah - it's reluctant - she's utterly clueless to *normal* life shit.

52. Does their race significantly shape their personality or is it more of a background aspect

It absolutely shapes everything about her - her lineage is insane (in variation of fey creatures and other), it's a smorgasbord of characteristics and eccentricities that make her who she is. IF she had been raised by her father, she may (big MAY) have been more stable - understanding more of those around her. But her upbringing, and DNA have made her just a hurricane in a body

53. How entitled do they feel to others' emotions, time or labor

Not at all. Never even want to be perceived as needing anything from anyone.

54. Are they more likely to do a good deed if they know it will be noticed or do they not care about acknowledgment

Nope - zero fucks given. If they do something good it's because she wanted to.

55. Do they live in the past, the present or the future

The present - she has to.

56. How do they go about making decisions: do they consult a particular individual, rely on a trusted group, consider input from anyone willing to share or solely trust their own judgment

On the fly in the most chaotic nonsensical way possible. Once in a place of trust - her bff or s/o

57. How likely are they to intervene if they witness something illegal or immoral, If they choose to get involved what method do they typically use, Does their eagerness to correct the situation and their approach vary depending on the perpetrator's status, closeness or strength

I suppose it depends on the act - if it's against a child - she will intervene. Children and animals. If it's anything else she doesn't even bat an eye. If it's after she's in a secure place - well, it would depend on the situation.

58. When it comes to hope do they view it as: impractical or necessary and why is that

She doesn't understand hope until she's with her people - her found fam. Once she's in that place hope becomes an absolutely necessity.

59. Do they tend to overwork themselves

Nope

60. What type of smart are they

Kitalia knows most languages of Faerun - and some from Feywilds, and others - she is very intelligent BUT she was never taught to read and has ZERO interest in learning. She's very old - so, yes, some things she can read just via exposure to them - city signs, street signs - shit like that. She can read a map in that she understand the design of it and has a superior sense of direction. But let's just say Gale of Waterdeep is flabbergasted by her complete lack of book knowledge. However, she can chat the ear off near any race. She has a musical ear as well, which is probably part of why languages are so simple for her - she can pick anything up by ear. In modern parlance, she would probably have been called a prodigy - but she doesn't care - it's just another skill she learned to survive.

61. If they could make people do whatever they wanted without any consequences, would they use that power and if so how

um, leave her and her loved ones alone and feed her all at once. She's really not complicated

62. Which of the following do they have the hardest time accepting: affection, money or help

That's a hard one - she doesn't really get money. She's lived on the outskirts of civilized society and usually takes/steals what she needs sometimes making money by busking (bard) but is easily fleeced because she can't read and doesn't understand money well at all. BUT she will not ask for help either - which means it's just a continuing vicious cycle until a certain group swoop in and bring her into their fold.

Characters/OCs asks

1. How would they define love if asked

2. When someone says "this is [character name] coded," what comes to your mind

3. if somebody told the character that they admire them what would they feel and how would they react to it

4. How much weight do they give to others' opinions of them

5. When bad things happen, do they usually think it happened to them or because of them

6. How well do they cope with the reality of their mortality

7. How easily and frequently do they ask for help

8. What is their perspective on religion and the concept of God

9. When in pain do they take it out on others or do they keep it inside

10. Their most defining moment vs your favorite one of them

11. One word they'd use to describe themselves, one you'd use to describe them and lastly a word that their closest/loved one would use to describe them

12. How committed are they to their principles, and what might get them to abandon them

13. Is there a moral line they would never cross

14. What could be considered as their worst moment

15. Do they have a stomach for violence and harm and if so do they only do it out of necessity or at any whim

16. Do they idolize anyone, if so why is that

17. How open are they to change their viewpoints on matters

18. Are they vengeful or do they easily forgive and forget or do they not forgive but don't go as far as acting on that

19. What's their strongest emotion, the one which mostly rules them and compells them to action

20. Are they more inclined to take or give

21. How much do they prioritize their own survival, and what lengths would they go to for self-preservation

22. What is their relationship with their body like

23. How connected do they feel to their community and society

24. Do they self harm and if so in which way

25. What's the worst physical or mental pain they've ever endured

26. How do their family and their relationship with them influence their perspective and the way they navigate life

27. Are they content with their sexuality and gender expression? would a difference in their sexuality and gender affect their role in the story and if so how

28. How much importance do they place on their appearance, and on others' appearance

29. What criteria do they use to assess others' character

30. Do they take themselves too seriously

31. How easily do they forgive themselves after making a mistake and how easily do they forgive others

32. Are they more concerned with the bigger picture or are they hung up on the details

33. Do they prioritise other people's needs over their own or the other way around

34. What do they believe their hands were made for

35. Do they consider themselves lucky or privileged

36. What is their level of emotional intelligence and social adeptness

37. Presented with three different ponds offering eternal health, strength, or wealth, which one would they choose to drink from, they can only drink from one

38. In the event of an apocalypse with only one limited safe haven available, whom or what would they prioritize bringing along

39. If they could end one thing—be it a person, ideology or misfortune—what would they choose to eradicate

40. Would breaking their heart be a quick task or would it require significant effort

41. Are they comfortable expressing their emotions and thoughts

42. If given the chance to bring back someone from the dead, who would they choose and why

43. With whom or when do they feel most authentic and true to themselves

44. Do they believe they are more in control or being controlled (by others, their circumstances or their life in general) and are they correct in their assumption

45. What is their fatal flaw

46. To what extent does shame or guilt influence their psyche

47. If they were an object, Which material(s) would they be made of

48. What gets them out of the bed each morning and how obvious is that motivation to those around them

49. Do they believe there's a cause, person, or a goal worth sacrificing their life for

50. If faced with a magical mirror revealing their deepest fear and greatest desire instead of their reflection, what would they see and would they be surprised by it

51. What does responsibility mean to them and do they embrace it or take it on reluctantly

52. Does their race significantly shape their personality or is it more of a background aspect

53. How entitled do they feel to others' emotions, time or labor

54. Are they more likely to do a good deed if they know it will be noticed or do they not care about acknowledgment

55. Do they live in the past, the present or the future

56. How do they go about making decisions: do they consult a particular individual, rely on a trusted group, consider input from anyone willing to share or solely trust their own judgment

57. How likely are they to intervene if they witness something illegal or immoral, If they choose to get involved what method do they typically use, Does their eagerness to correct the situation and their approach vary depending on the perpetrator's status, closeness or strength

58. When it comes to hope do they view it as: impractical or necessary and why is that

59. Do they tend to overwork themselves

60. What type of smart are they

61. If they could make people do whatever they wanted without any consequences, would they use that power and if so how

62. Which of the following do they have the hardest time accepting: affection, money or help

[bianotbia]

— 𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 [ 𝐲𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐧 ]

main masterlist

˗ˏˋ you promised yourself to never fall for jeonghan, but when new feelings bloom inside you have to make a very painful decision ˎˊ˗

⤷ a/n : this was actually the first ever fanfic I wrote and, after I lost my previous account, I swore to myself I would try to rewrite it. even though I spent months in it and used a little bit of help from chat gpt to help me rewrite some parts, I couldn't be happier with how it turned out ^_^

⤷ contains : office crush!jeonghan x gn!reader, office au, hanahaki disease, full angst because I'm sad, mentions of blood and bruises [ wc : 2.6k ]

⤷ now playing : daisy by pentagon

Spring arrived in a hush of pink petals, drifting weightlessly through the air before settling on the pavement like forgotten confessions. A warm breeze carried the scent of earth and blossoms, yet all I could focus on was Jeonghan—his head tilted back, eyes half-lidded as if caught between daydreams and reality.

“Jeonghan,” I nudged him lightly, pretending not to notice the way my chest tightened at his absentminded smile. “Did you read the report I sent you this morning?”

He turned to me, lips curling at the corners in that easy, unshaken way of his. “I will,” he promised. “After lunch.” And just like that, I let myself believe, if only for this fleeting moment, that we existed in a world where he would look at me the same way he looked at the cherry blossoms—like something worth pausing for.

Half an hour later, we made our way back to the office after the lunch break ended, walking alongside the blooming cherry blossoms that painted the path towards it. He nudged closer with a spark in his eyes, as if he just came up with a brilliant idea. “Why don't we go out for some drinks tonight? We can celebrate spring and you can take your head off work for a bit.”

The pounding inside my chest echoed in my ears after hearing those words, feeling a flush painting my face almost the same color as the pink rain falling around us. It wasn't unusual for us to meet each other for drinks after work. Sometimes our other colleagues at the office would come along and other times we would go on by ourselves, but lately he hadn't been going out much.

I slightly nodded my head, trying to brush away the sharp pain that stung my heart as I wished I had never met Jeonghan, just so that the heartbreak of knowing he would never return my feelings for him wouldn’t make me slowly wither every day.

A dark shade of blue covered the sky, gracing it with stars invisible to our eyes blinded by the city lights. The scent of alcohol took over the streets along with the sound of slurred voices laughing over nothing. Already on our third glass, the conversation barely consisted of meaningless giggles and words that surely would get lost into the night.

“What’s your favorite flower?” He asked, a confused frown settled in my face which made him laugh at my reaction. “C’mon…it’s spring! Get in the vibes.” His body felt warmer—closer than it had ever been—as if one faint touch could send me on a maddening spiral of passion.

“Cherry blossoms…I think.” He hummed, a low sound that traveled through my body and made it even more limp thanks to the empty glasses spread around our table.

“What about you, Han?” I gazed at him, searching for the slightest slip of any hidden emotion that might only show when someone is drunk. He giggled and downed the remains of his beer, and from that moment on the only thing I could remember on the following day was the one word that came from his teasing smile.

“Daisies.”

The weekend faded into a grayish and gloomy monday morning, as if an incoming storm was getting closer at each second. Flashes of last friday night still swirled inside my mind and his laugh still echoed in my heart along with a conversation that seemed to go on all night long. There wasn't anything not to love about him—pretty face, smart comebacks, mischievous smile—how could I not fall in love?

Yet something always tightened inside my chest whenever he was around, something that drowned out any kind of words that conceived how much I liked him, how much I longed to have him close to me.

“Hey, did you see it?” I heard as soon as I arrived at my desk, mindlessly turning to my grinning colleague, Yena, who leaned over her own desk, “Mr. Yoon brought flowers to Haerin today.” She tried to cover a growing smile that quickly turned into a pout “They are so cute together! Oh, now I want a boyfriend to give me flowers too.”

“Boyfriend?” That word played over and over in my mind as I still tried to process everything she just said.

“Yeah! Apparently they just started going out in the past few weeks.” For a second, sitting in that cold office, all of the air inside my lungs seemed to vanish.

“Wh–what flowers did he give her?” I couldn’t keep my voice non-chalant, but she didn't notice anyway, just humming to herself while trying to remember what she saw.

“I think they were pink” cheerfully nodding her head, “Uh-hum, I'm pretty sure they were cherry blossoms.”

In the corner of my eyes I saw a shadow approaching us, Yena glanced up with a sparkling smile, one I tried to imitate as I realized who came over.

“Hi Mr. Yoon! We were just talking about you and Haerin. We're so happy for both of you!” He gave her a polite smirk, but quickly turned to me with a worried look. “Are you feeling alright? You seem quite pale.”

Any words I had to say to him got caught on the back of my throat. I felt my head nodding and could only hope that the tears pooling in my eyes wouldn't cross my cheeks in front of him.

That evening, my apartment was eerily quiet, the air cold and the room dimly lit. The only sounds were the relentless storm that had been pouring since lunchtime and the steady rush of water filling my bathtub. As I sank into its warmth, the sensation faintly reminded me of the rain dripping over my coat as I waited for Jeonghan at our usual meeting spot in front of the building. Only, this time, he didn’t show up.

As I neared the restaurant we often went to, my eyes caught a glimpse of him and Haerin. They laughed together, his usually sleepy eyes shining with a liveliness I had never seen before. I kept walking, eventually settling on another place to eat. Yet, even as the rain soaked through my clothes, the thing that bothered me most wasn’t the cold creeping into my bones—it was a strange itch at the back of my throat.

I heated up some soup after the bath, hoping to fend off this possible spring fever. But the itch remained, growing worse at every second and every cough that came out of me. Finally, something emerged from my mouth—a single daisy petal resting on my lips. It felt like a cruel joke while I forced myself to finish my meal.

Later, as I lay in bed and my thoughts slowly drifted away to dreamland, I could only cling to one desperate hope—that by morning, the delicate white petal would have disappeared, as if it had never been there—just like a bittersweet memory.

Unfortunately, the flower was still sitting at my nightstand as I woke up, alongside the annoying scratch that came from within my throat. I hurried to get dressed trying to ignore the suffocating sensation that made me feel even more ill while riding the crowded train, its constant rhythmic movement barely matching my ragged breaths.

The bitter feeling faded by the time I walked into the building, leaving just that unbearable sensation of something lodged in my throat. An itch I couldn’t scratch. A weight I needed to expel, as if letting it go was the only way to keep moving forward.

I ran into Haerin as I arrived at the office. The concern in her eyes told me I must have looked as awful as I felt. Time dragged mercilessly, stretching an hour into what felt like days. Had I already gone to lunch? Caught the train? Made it home? Or was I still lost, wandering through the remnants of a forgotten memory?

Then, once again, that suffocating feeling clawed its way up from my lungs to my throat—the desperate urge to rid myself of whatever was trapped inside. Not wanting to draw attention or fuel office gossip, I bolted to the restroom on the other floor.

Alone at last, my lungs felt like they were being filled with a hundred thorns, my throat suddenly surrounded by weeds that choked every airway. The coughing worsened and didn’t stop—not until flowers slipped through my fingers just as the tears that dripped from my eyes. The amount of them could probably make the decoration of a small wedding–their wedding.

By the end of that painful episode I was sitting on the cold tiled floor surrounded by white petals, a tear stained face and a bouquet full of daisies hanging on my shaky hands.

Everyday I saw Jeonghan mildly flirting with Haerin at the office, everyday I feigned a smile, and everyday I got home and felt flowers and more flowers coming from inside me. However, something started to worry me more than having to clean the white petals off my bathroom—was that daisies weren’t thorny flowers—yet as blood stained my hands and pain settled in the back of my throat, I knew this wasn’t some uncanny spring fever I could just brush off.

I couldn’t keep living like this—pretending that nothing had changed. I couldn’t keep going out with everyone after work and seeing both of them laugh at an inside joke they shared with each other, knowing that I wasn’t the one he looked at with such loving eyes.

The rain had poured relentlessly all day, a dull gray sky stretching endlessly above. That evening, Jeonghan invited me out for some drinks, just like old times, insisting I had been too distant lately. I only hoped the dim bar lights would be enough to hide the exhaustion in my eyes and the bruises in my lips.

“It’s been so long since we’ve gone out together. Feels like we’re not even friends anymore,” he said, nudging me playfully. I forced out a tired laugh, but it faded almost as soon as it escaped my lips.

“There’s something I need to tell you, Han.” My voice wavered as I met his gaze.

He frowned slightly. “That sounds serious—are you okay? You don’t look like yourself these past few weeks.”

A deep sigh left me as I looked away, the weight of everything I had been carrying pressing down on me. “I’m leaving the company. I found… something better. The people are nice, and the pay is good too.”

His face froze. He blinked once—twice—before finally speaking. “Oh…well…why are you saying it as if it’s something bad? You should be happy about it, right? Let's drink up to that.” We clinked our glasses while his gaze still lingered on me, a fading laughter from a night far away still echoed in the night.

As we got out of the bar the rain hadn't stopped and a sudden wave of longing rushed right through me. “There's…something else I wanted to say to you.”

He raised an eyebrow, a flicker of curiosity in his eyes. But I couldn’t speak. The words were caught in my throat, tangled in the thorns tightening around it, suffocating any attempt to express what I truly felt.

“Actually, never mind. It wasn’t that important.” He chuckled softly, the sound light and effortless, and we continued walking along the pink-strewn path of fallen cherry blossoms.

The next few days passed in a blur, an empty void where time moved, but I remained still. I saw them together at the office—smiling, happy—and let all my unsaid words spill out only when I was alone at home. As my last days at work dwindled, I barely managed to say proper goodbyes to my colleagues, promising to keep in touch with everyone, even Jeonghan—but deep down, I knew that was a lie I couldn’t keep telling myself.

The moment my final paycheck hit my account, I made the call. A hospital I found online—one that specialized in Hanahaki disease. They told me the procedure to remove the flowers from my lungs was costly and could have irreversible effects on my mind. But after everything that I went through, it didn’t feel like the worst idea.

As a single tear traced down my cheek while I entered the surgery room, the doctor assured me it was a simple procedure. That when I woke up the next morning, everything would feel just the same. Everything—except for one thing. He would be gone. Every memory, every moment we had shared—erased as if they had never existed at all, like a forgotten dream.

As the voices in the room faded into the background and the bright lights dissolved into darkness, the last thing I heard was Jeonghan’s laughter—followed by a sharp, piercing white noise.

When I opened my eyes, sunlight streamed through the window, casting a warm glow across the room. I took a deep breath, and for the first time in what felt like forever, the weight on my chest was gone. My lungs, once suffocated, now welcomed the air freely—light, empty, and unburdened.

Slightly sore from the surgery, I listened to the soft sounds coming through the window. Outside, summer was in its final stretch, clinging to its last few scorching days before making way for autumn. The pink trees swayed gently in the warm breeze, like a distant, faded memory fluttering somewhere in the depths of my heart.

As I looked to the side, something caught my eye—a vase of white daisies. A small note from the doctor rested beside it: “As much as it might hurt to see them, these were too beautiful to throw away.”

Something deep inside me stirred. I knew what he meant by it. And yet, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t quite grasp who I was trying to remember. Only the distant echo of a familiar voice lingered—faint, unreachable, already slipping away.

Summer’s final days passed in a golden haze as I settled into my new job, adjusting to the unfamiliar faces and surroundings. This weekend, I had plans to meet up with Yena, just a casual get-together, a chance to catch up on all the latest gossip.

I stepped out of the chocolate shop, a small bag of gifts in hand, when I accidentally bumped into a young man. He took a long look at me before his face lit up with a bright smile. “Oh my god, how long has it been? It feels like ages! How have you been?”

For a brief moment, I furrowed my brows in confusion. “I’m sorry, sir, but I think you have the wrong person.”

He chuckled at my puzzled expression, reaching slightly for my hand, but I instinctively pulled away. “What are you talking about? It hasn’t even been that long... It’s me, Jeonghan.” His once cheerful expression wavered, slowly shifting into something more uncertain, almost desperate.

There was something in his eyes, something pleading, as if silently begging me to remember. But I had nothing else to say to him.

“Sorry, I really don’t think I’m who you’re looking for,” I said, my voice polite but distant. “I should get going. I hope you find them again. Have a great day.” With a quick bow, I muttered another apology and walked away, leaving the stranger standing there.

Jeonghan remained frozen in place, his breath hitching as he watched me disappear down the tree-lined path. His vision blurred, the world around him smearing into shades of green and pink as tears welled in his eyes. A tightness coiled around his throat, sharp and suffocating. And then, finally, he felt it—a strange itch clawing its way up from deep inside him. Coughing lightly, he reached up, and from his lips, he pulled a single delicate petal.

A sakura blossom. Resting on his trembling palm.

the images aren't mine! all rights reserved to © bianotbia 2025. please do not claim, translate, copy or modify any of my works as your own. reblogs are appreciated! ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

[thewebcomicsreview]

Hey hey, an upd8. Looks like Vriska leveled up from killing Jane. It's kind of hard to read some of these tier names, though. "Descent Horizon" is an a'ight one. Kind of weird that the non-pun one is the one we're one, though. Not even irons in the hellfire.

John sees some images of a Pumpkin Cake (What Cake?) and...himself as Mark Immortell from Pathologic? Is the idea that these are alternate realities?

Rose is freaking out at not being in a coma. The "Thanks for Playing" message being destroyed is a good gag in and of itself, but also a good visual for Rose's carefully laid plan to make Kanaya hate her before going brain-dead falling to pieces.

Panel from Narbonic

What the fuck, Jane survived having her head cut off?

Anyway, never mind that. It's Adult!Vriska. I guess being in Silhouette isn't stylishly hiding her Hell Tier form from us, she's literally all black when transformed.

KARKAT: BY THE BY, WAS TELLING ME VRISKA WAS BACK ON ANYONE'S AGENDA?

I went to check the epilogues to see if anyone had a chance to tell Karkat that Vriska's been back this whole time, but Homestuck.com is broke and they're not in the unofficial collection. I think Vriska appeared in Candy just in time to bang/kill Gamzee before HS2 started. God, no one ever tells Karkat anything. I guess the kids didn't mention it to Rose/Kanaya.

MEENAH: figured youd pop a vessel over it MEENAH: decided to keep that out of your briefs MEENAH: im the only one around here watchin your blood pressure MEENAH: and your briefs VRISKA: Don't mention it! VRISKA: Just one grown adult helping out another. VRISKA: I mean damn, Karkat, speaking of grown. VRISKA: Look at you! MEENAH: i know right VRISKA: You're like... yoked. MEENAH: i knowww right

Now that Jake English is god, Karkat is Jake English. Also Candy Karkat meeting Meat Karkat is going to be amazing.

JOHN: besides vriska looking like lucy liu from charlie's angels now JOHN: is that what the machine was for? making lucy lius? not that i'm complaining, but... KARKAT: OKAY, HOLD ON. KARKAT: SHE LOOKS WAY MORE LIKE SANDRA BULLOCK FROM A TIME TO KILL. KARKAT: OR THE INFINITELY BETTER MISS CONGENIALITY. KANAYA: Sure KARKAT: ACTUALLY, LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT MOVIES ANYMORE OR WHICH TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WOMEN FROM A DEFUNCT ALIEN SOCIETY VRISKA WHO IS AN ADULT NOW MAY OR MAY NOT LOOK LIKE. JAKE: I think theyre both equally good, if were sharing movie opinions. JOHN: wait, are you naked under there? JAKE: Well,

While John/Karkat conversations are always great, what really makes this scene is Kanaya's "Sure". She's above this silliness, but she still has opinions.

MEENAH: step one we gut scale and filet this sea cow ROXY: !!!! JAKE: Shucks and shit, people, not sure whats left to try. JAKE: I mean look at her. MEENAH: tsk cmon kingfish what is this amateur hour? MEENAH: you blow all your gumption out when you were stalkin the battlefield like a human lens flare? MEENAH: clearly we gotta give this dirty girl a bubble bath JAKE: Er, id rather not. JAKE: Ive been twenty thousand leagues under that particular sea more times than a fellow might care to remember. MEENAH: oh yuck MEENAH: im talkin bout dippin her in acid JAKE: Oooooooh! That should work! JAKE: Or if it doesnt we could give her the ole mummy treatment. JAKE: Jade did a bang-up job with dave... JADE: aww thank you! JOHN: or we could just smash her with a hammer. JANE: Mmf????? VRISKA: Hey, so- KARKAT: LOOK, AS MUCH AS I'D LOVE TO SPEND THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON TESTING OUT VARIOUS CAPITAL PUNISHMENTS ON JANE'S HEAD UNTIL SOMETHING STICKS, THERE'S AN ANNOYINGLY VAST ARRAY OF VITAL INTEL WE NEED FROM HER FIRST. ROXY: wow okay can we pause for a second JOHN: yeah, what kind of intel? ROXY: not what i meant!! KARKAT: DO YOU KNOW WHERE JANE'S HEAD KEEPS HER POLITICAL PRISONERS?

I just wanna post snippets of dialogue and say they're good. These are fun characters and they have fun chemistry and we basically have not just let them riff for the entirely of HS2 or the epilogues.

Also, obviously John's plan is a hammer. Even now, he can't let Homestuck 1 go.

KARKAT: DO YOU KNOW ANY OF HER PASSWORDS, FOR THAT MATTER? JOHN: i guess not. SOLLUX: i do. KARKAT: YOU DO? SOLLUX: yeah. SOLLUX: the passw0rds, anyway. SOLLUX: problem sleuth with a zer0. SOLLUX: honk undersc0re enjoyer sixty six. SOLLUX: imwithher. SOLLUX: id0whatiwant<3 JOHN: this guy again. JOHN: why are you even here?

Oof, the Hillary Clinton reference there. I know a lot of people accused Jane of being a blatant Trump analogue, was she meant to be Hillary Clinton this whole time?

Also, bantz aside, Jane is the Maid of Life. Can't she just, like....get better? Stick her head back on that body and be good?

Anyway, Vriska explains that Candyland is doomed and everyone here is going to die as the Black Hole collapses without Alt!Calliope sustaining it.

VRISKA: 8ut, as I said, I can get all you guys out of here! Hell Tier gave me a pretty comprehensive lay of the land, metaphysically speaking, and we can move on from this 8ummer aaaaaaaaltogether. KANAYA: Including The Children KANAYA: ? VRISKA: Of course! That's actually where shit gets real interesting. VRISKA: Turns out they're all needed on the other side, for a very, very special game. JOHN: wait, you don't mean... VRISKA: Oh, 8ut I do. JOHN: :D JADE: D:< JADE: NO WAY! JOHN: what? JOHN: why not?

God, I really do love John's midlife crisis manifesting as Homestuck nostalgia. He's so fucking hyped to kill his kids!

VRISKA: I'm... normal now.

Lies.jpg

Vriska literally walking out of the comic is a good visual.

Oh god, what is this.

Let's start with "You are coming". I presume it's not another Meat/Candy choice and it's just who's splitting up where.

Oh wow, only the kids go, and it's mostly only Yiffy that wants to. Meanwhile, in the other path

JOHN: we have to go fight dirk! JAKE: Erm. JAKE: Fight him? JOHN: he's obviously like... the new bad guy! CALLIOPE: oUr friend dirk...? JANE: HMMHMHMM?? ROXY: john ROXY: wt actual f are you talking abt JOHN: roxy, this is our do-over! JOHN: our meat! MEENAH: nobody wants to hear about your meat man

John's midlife crisis being nostalgia for Homestuck is funny, but also it's so goddamn sad. He doesn't actually care about any of this, he just wants an adventure.

KANAYA: What Did She Say JOHN: well... we were kinda talking about how messed up every thing was on sort of a fundamental level, and she basically said she was happy every thing was shaking out as it has been? JOHN: which was nice to hear in the moment, but when you think about it for a little longer, people have died? KARKAT: YES, JOHN. KARKAT: QUITE A FEW FUCKING PEOPLE HAVE DIED. JOHN: also that she's been married twenty years, but also not? JOHN: it was all kind of over my head, but also i sort of get it. KANAYA: Takes A Depressed Dissociative Cop-Out To Know One I Suppose ROSE: I think I'm going to be sick. KANAYA: *FUCK*

Of all the Candy characters, John is the one acting the most like his original characterization, and that makes him the most fucked-up one of all.

JOHN: no offense, jade, but you're right behind rose on the crazy train. JOHN: you can't even be trusted to be normal around a dead body. JOHN: OR TO NAME A BABY.

He's got a point there tho

JOHN: and i've been really trying, but no matter what, it all seems kinda ... dumb and random? KARKAT: OH, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT. JOHN: what do you mean? KARKAT: JADE'S A PATHETIC PATHOLOGICAL LIAR, BUT SHE'S NOT STUPID. KARKAT: NOTHING ABOUT ANY OF THIS IS RANDOM. KANAYA: ? KARKAT: TELL ME, WAS A KID NAMED "YIFFANY LONGSTOCKING" A JOKE DAVE MADE, OR DID YOU JUST *THINK* HE'D FIND IT FUNNY? JADE: are we seriously talking about this NOW? KARKAT: THE ONE THING HE EVER STOOD HIS GROUND ON. KARKAT: AND YOU COULDN'T EVEN LEAVE HIM THAT, COULD YOU? JADE: its not that simple! KARKAT: SHE LOOKS LIKE HIM! THAT'S, WHAT, A HAPPY ACCIDENT? KARKAT: THERE WERE A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT OF WILLING, UNMARRIED WOMBS OUT THERE, BUT YOU JUST HAPPENED TO STUMBLE INTO THE CLOSEST ONE THERE IS TO DAVE? KARKAT: WOW!!! KARKAT: LUCKY!!! KANAYA: Huh

I really do love the Jerry Springer-ness of Candyland. All these people are so unbelievably fucked up, too busy fighting over stupid shit to notice all their kids went away and left them in the doomed timeline.

KARKAT: I HAD A LIGHT PLAYER RUNNING ESPIONAGE FOR ME AND IT STILL TOOK US FIFTEEN SHITTY, GRUELING HUMAN YEARS TO WIN THIS EMBARRASSING RUBE GOLDBERG TRAVESTY OF A WAR. KARKAT: ALL THOSE WEAK-ASS PROGNOSES... MUST'VE BEEN A REAL RIOT! ROSE: Karkat, please... I never tried to hinder the war effort... KARKAT: YOU MUST'VE USED UP ALL YOUR HINDER QUOTA ON SABOTAGING YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR FUCKING WIFE THEN. KARKAT: BUT HEY, WORKS FOR ME!

A lot of the time Karkat's not really mad, it just reads as angry because his text is all-caps, but he's out for blood today, Christ.

KARKAT: AND NOW, KANAYA FINALLY KNOWS THAT YOU AREN'T FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER. KARKAT: YOU NEVER WERE. ROSE: *Sniffle.* KARKAT: ARE YOU CRYING? KARKAT: WHAT THE HELL. STOP THAT. KARKAT: YOU DON'T DO THAT. KANAYA: I Think Those Might Actually Be Real Tears ROSE: *Sob.* JOHN: see? JOHN: this is what i mean. JOHN: the only reason why things are even remotely better now is because of karkat. JOHN: he's like the only guy capable of putting all of us in our place when we start acting insane! JOHN: and... he's the only one that won't be around forever.

See, like, I know I said I like the banter, but that's because I don't exist in this fictional universe. John does, and acting like Rose being reduced to literal tears is "better" than that not happening is fucking insane.

JOHN: listen, i've tried taking roxy's advice. JOHN: i have been paying attention, i've been involved, and i can't shake this feeling that maybe, there is such a thing as too much freedom.

John going insane while at the same time turning his back on "Freedom" is going to drive the Classpect Inversion theorists wild. I can hear BladekindEyewear from here.

ROXY: john! JOHN: i'm glad you've been happy roxy, you've done so well for yourself. JOHN: but... that doesn't change the fact that none of you are good people. JADE: because youre so great??????? JOHN: no, not at all! JOHN: that's my point, i only had like half a foot in my own kid's life for ten years! JOHN: and i was a real jerk to you guys. JOHN: ugh, i even emotionally cheated on my wife. ROXY: exsqueeze me? JOHN: and honestly i don't even know how old she was. JAKE: Dude.

What in the fuck is happening? Is John saying he wanted to bang....Vriska? What the fuck is he even talking about.

JOHN: and i think the last time i did was when we were all in the game. JOHN: that's when we were all at our best! JOHN: right? JADE: john! JADE: WE ALL DIED! JOHN: that didn't even happen to this you, don't pretend like any of that affected you! JADE: of course it did!!! JOHN: ?????? JADE: OH MY GOD.

What? What is John talking about? Of course Jade died. She died the most of any of you and she went to Squiddlehell.

God, this art of Dave's corpse is so fucking creepy.

JADE: you keep talking about something being wrong with us, yet not once have you asked yourself what we all have in common!!!! JOHN: you can't blame the game for everything. JOHN: playing it saved us! JADE: children shouldnt have to make other children, or kiss the corpses of their friends, or know what it feels like to die!!! JADE: the kids have a chance here, john. JADE: to grow up like real people do and be... actually FUCKING normal! JOHN: jade, your daughter has dog ears and a tail. JOHN: she's never going to be normal!

This fight is really well-written because both perspectives are absolutely insane and steeped in fantasy nonsense and yet it still feels really uncomfortable.

Also John had that coming.

Bro, this art is so good. Screenshotting it doesn't really do it justice.

YIFFY: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tch. Obviously this would be her first line.

JOHN: we have to kill dirk.

John, she left. Like...she's gone. The only bus out of Candyland and you missed it. You've gone completely mad.

And you're the most interesting you've ever been.

[stargazing-sapphire2]

VENT UNDER THE CUT

I wasn't planning on addressing this as I wanted to move on, but this goes beyond fandom drama and I'm tired of trying to brush it off and watching my mutuals be subjected to constant harassment.

What the fuck do you think you'll get out of this situation? Attention? Trying to satiate your ego because nobody wants to interact with you and thrive off the negativity?

There is no circumstance where it will ever be acceptable to dox and harass people who blocked you, regardless if you think they deserved, especially when they've done nothing wrong in this situation, but I don't expect someone like you to even acknowledge that.

You're being ostracized and excluded because of your own behavior and actions, not because everyone's against you or can't handle "criticism" as you so nicely put it, especially when you could've harmed actual fucking minors in this situation.

I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt from the start, but I see now I was the fucking idiot for even thinking that, as well as everyone else who tried to reach out to you when you were going through it. Or so you claimed. You act like nobody tried to help you, but your response when someone did was to talk down to them and use them as your therapist, when no matter what they said or did, you would never change nor try to improve yourself.

I can't fucking believe this. All of this drama, when everyone just wanted a bit of escapism and enjoy a fucking video game franchise. All because you tried dragging everyone into your own issues and couldn't handle the pushback from it.

Get off the internet and go get fucking help. I'm tired of being gracious and tolerant of piss poor behavior when all it's brought is trouble.

I hope that you come to your senses and acknowledge the harm you've done, and take this as a lesson to fix yourself. Because you are going to get involved with the wrong person one day and dig yourself into a ditch you won't be able to get out of.

From one person to another, kiss my ass and go fuck yourself.