#but i don't think he technically counts so

[motorsportbarbie13]

A Package Deal - Part 3

In which things are made official.

Warnings: smut in the middle. lando being jealous. Pairing: Lando x SingleMom!Reader Word Count: 4.6k words

(a note: happy new year loves!!! hope you enjoy part three!!)

- A Package Deal - A Package Deal - Part 2 - Master List

yourusername (private) posted

yourusername testing testing... BFFSarah so jealous! >>>yourusername miss you! ❤️ landonorris stalker >>>yourusername 😘 >>>BFFSarah 👀

"I'm funnier than Greg, right?" Lando grumbles, not even bothering to take his eyes off of you.

"Mate, what?" Oscar replies, eyes narrowed, totally mystified as to what the hell his teammate is talking about. "Like, Greg, the guy on the strategy team Greg?"

"Yeah, him." Lando raises his chin towards where you stand opposite of said strategy Greg, laughing (even louder this time) at something he's said. Lando knuckles go white on the counter he's standing when Greg leans in just a bit too close for his comfort.

It was the first day of testing in Bahrain and Lando had just come in from his first test stint of the 2025 season. When he'd walked into the garage a few minutes earlier, he'd instantly clocked where you stood near the back of the garage staring up at a few computer monitors beside his newest nemesis, Greg. At first he hadn't thought anything of it but then he heard you laugh, a sound that was quickly becoming one of his favorite things, and he had stopped what he was doing to stare.

"I don't think I know Greg's sense of humor well enough to be the judge of that." Oscar responds, still confused as to why Lando was asking him such a random question. When Oscar follows Lando's line of sight though, everything clicks into place and starts to make a lot more sense.

"Oh..." He mutters, unable to quell the smirk that surfaces.

"'Oh' what?" Lando snaps, still attempting to assassinate Greg with a glare.

"You're jealous." Oscar practically giggles. He might be the quieter one of the driver duo, but that quiet demeanor meant that he noticed a lot more than other people gave him credit for and Oscar had caught onto Lando's crush after the first time he had stumbled into your office and disappeared on him for hours.

Lando finally tears his eyes away from where you're standing, still staring up in rapt attention to Greg. "I most certainly am not." He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest in a move that is very reminiscent of a Stella temper tantrum.

"You two aren't even together, are you?" Oscar reasons, doing next to nothing to reassure Lando that he has nothing to be worried about.

Lando narrows his eyes at the Australian as he fights a pout. "I mean, no. Not technically, I guess."

And that was the problem, wasn't it? You two had been on a few dates and he'd been coming over to your house to hang with you and Stella more and more but a serious discussion of what was happening? He'd been too scared to have that kind of talk with you so quick. You made him nervous but being rejected by you sounded even worse.

"Maybe you should like, talk to her about it then? If that's what you want? I mean, I've never seen the sight of a girl talking to someone else send you into orbit like this before. You really like her, don't you?"

Oscar had worked hard to keep his opinion of you and Lando together to himself. He hated when people commented on his relationship with Lily, which was a big reason why they were so quiet together, so he had made it a point not to press when it came to you. He'd spent most of the morning with you though, while Lando was in the car and he could see why Lando was so attached to you already. You were wicked smart and the program that you had been writing for the team was impressive. He knew there were other people in Lando's life that didn't think the driver could handle being with someone like you but the more Oscar got to know you, the more he could see why you two got on so well.

Lando's gaze slides back to you then. "I do, yeah." He murmurs, a sudden sense of determination settling over him. Before he has the chance to chicken out once again, he pats Oscar on the back and starts off towards where you and Greg are still huddled together in front of a computer screen.

"Greg, can I steal her away from you real quick?" Lando says by way of greeting, his tone needlessly possessive. "Will and I wanted to go through last sessions data with you before lunch." He lies.

You hadn't noticed the way Lando had been staring daggers at you and Greg up until that very moment but the feral look he's giving you takes you by surprise. Greg had approached you as Lando's session had wound down and your new program was stretching its legs on your laptop. He wanted to talk about the inputs you were adding in for this year and give you some feedback on the initial data capture of this morning's session. It was totally innocent and when Lando had slid up next to you practically breathing fire, you had been a bit caught off guard.

"I'll see you at the cocktail party later tonight, Greg." You give him a smile before turning back to Lando. "Where do you want to go, the debrief room?"

"Sure." Lando huffs, giving Greg a fake smile before grabbing your elbow and leading you towards an empty conference room. Like hell you were going to see Gregory at any point for the rest of the day.

You're totally confused at the way he's practically dragging you down the hallway and even more perplexed when Lando nearly slams the door closed behind him and you find the debrief room completely empty. "Where's Will?"

"What?" Lando frowns.

"You said you and Will wanted to go over some data after your session." Annoyance moves through you. What in the world was going on?

"Oh, yeah no. I lied." Lando glares at you like you're the insane one, frown deepening.

"Lando!" You sputter, resisting the urge to chuck the nearest laptop at his head. "I was in the middle of a conversation with Greg."

When he rolls his eyes, you swear you see red. "Yeah, I know. We all saw how endlessly entertaining the conversation was."

The pout that finds it's way onto his face is what unlocks everything for you though. Sudden understanding washes over you as it all finally clicks.

"You're jealous!" You gasp, desperately trying not to burst into a fit of giggles.

Lando at least as the decency to look a bit ashamed of his behavior but attempts to deny it. "I am not."

You arch an eyebrow at the man standing across from you as if he's not the easiest book in the world to read. "Lando Norris, you were jealous of a man who was telling me all about how his boyfriend took him on a trip to the Bahamas over the holidays and got bitten by a wild swimming pig."

The way Lando's cheeks go scarlet as he crosses his arms over his chest nearly has you doubled over with laughter.

"Oh."

"Oh is right, you muppet." You chuckle, using the term of endearment he's become famous for. In a few strides, your within arms length of him, tugging at the waist of his half unzipped race suit. Lando takes a step forward as you pull him closer.

"Jealously looks good on you, Norris." You smirk before giving him a quick peck on the cheek, mindful of the fact that you're still at work.

Lando settles his hands on your hips, drawing you even closer to him, seemingly forgetting that he's still at work. He grins down at you, a flirty glint sparking in his eyes.

"Yeah, well. What can I say? The sight of some idiot flirting with my girlfriend kind of set me off."

Your hands slip around Lando's waist. Heart hammering so fast you're amazed Lando can't hear it, you beam up at him. You'd never experienced the kind of contentment and safety you felt whenever you were with Lando before. He frequently caught you off balance like this and had you feeling like you were a teenager again, still believing in fairy tales and happy endings.

"Girlfriend, huh?"

"That's right." He whispers. The rasp in his voice has you pressing your hips into his, seeking friction from his body.

"Well, since I'm your girlfriend then I guess you’ll be needing this for later tonight." Reaching into the back pocket of your jeans, your fingers find the thin plastic card you'd stashed there to slip into Lando's hand sometime this afternoon.

Anticipation sparks between your bodies as Lando figures out what you've just pressed into his palm. All this time he'd been building up this big conversation that he thought had to be had and nervously putting so much pressure on himself to do this all the right way. It had only taken a matter of seconds though and you had reminded him that it like most everything that happened between you and him, this was easy too. There's a silent understanding that passes between you two then that maybe this was how it was supposed to be from the beginning and that sometimes wires get crossed and we meet people later than the universe intended.

"I have to get back to work and you should really find Will and actually debrief but I think I'd like to skip tonights cocktail hour if that's okay with you."

Lando reluctantly lets go and nods, swallowing around the thick lump of emotion stuck in his throat.

"Yeah." He croaks before reaching back out to bring your face to his, kissing you so intensely your knees buckle. "I'll see you tonight."

Not even five minutes after Lando responds to your text, you hear the beeping of the lock to your hotel room door and it swings open moments later. Anxiety flows through you despite the flirty text you'd just sent. This kind of thing was totally out of your wheel house, with most of your adult life spent focusing on your daughter and not dating. It had been Sarah's suggestion to send that risky text but after your conversation with Lando earlier, you were briefly confident that it would be well received. And judging by his response, you were right. That didn't do much to calm your nerves though so the knock on your door sends the butterflies in your belly flying around in what feels like a category five tornado.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Lando groans when he sees you kneeling on the bed waiting for him. Every thought tumbles straight out of his head at the sight of you waiting for him in nothing but black bits of lace. If he had known this was what had been waiting for him all night, he certainly wouldn't have gone to dinner with some of the team.

"You like it then?" You ask, barely resisting the urge to dive under the covers you feel so exposed under his gaze. Lando can't stop staring and it's starting to make you nervous, the way he's dragging his eyes up and down your body without making an attempt to move from where he stands just inside your hotel room.

"Like it? Baby, are you fucking kidding me? I don't think I've ever seen a prettier sight in my entire life." The rasp in his voice drags down your skin like sandpaper.

"Then stop staring and get over here."

Lando obeys immediately, toeing off his shoes before joining you on the bed. His hands find your hips and before you can make a sound, he's pulling you into his lap and attaching his lips to your neck.

"I think everyone got the impression I was about to be sick or something, I got up from that table so fucking fast." He mumbles against you. "Also, give me some warning next time you're going to send me that kind of thing, Osc nearly got an eye full of something that is for my eyes only."

Lando had been attempting to show Oscar something on his phone when your text had come through and the moment he'd swapped over to his iMessage app he was glad that Andrea had picked that exact second to call Oscar's name. He had shut down the message app so fast, all of his blood rushing straight from his head to below his belt.

"Oops." You giggle. "Sorry."

"You're not one bit sorry, don't lie."

All you do is shrug as you preen under his attention. He eyes drag lazy lines up and down your body, stalling when they fall on the black lace barely hiding your most intimate parts. The heat of his gaze has fire stoking deep in your belly and for the first time in years, you feel desired and wanted. It's an unfamiliar feeling that you're still getting used to but with Lando, it feels safe. You feel cared for and it's unlike anything you've ever experienced with anyone you've slept with before. Which, to be totally honest, wasn't a lot. You haven't been in a serious relationship since Stella's dad, the only dates you've gone on in the last six years usually ending in casual flings that don't end up meaning much outside of the bedroom.

This though? This feels different and you know Lando feels the same.

Lando's hands grip at your hips as he moves you off his lap briefly and stands up. Your eyes nearly roll back into your head when he unbuckles his belt with one hand, tugging it off in one smooth motion, the leather slapping against itself and echoing throughout the otherwise silent room. 

“Jesus.” You breathe and desperately try to catch your breath as he reaches for the hem of his shirt. You've known that Lando has a sinfully good body for a while, his entire career is centered around his body afterall so naturally, he is in amazing shape. There’s a reason that women will do next to anything to get any of the drivers in their bed. Nothing prepared you for the hard planes of his chest and the insane cut of his abs though. The way his waist nips in to show off a deep V cut of his torso makes your mouth water. With both his jeans and shirt now discarded, he stands in front of you in just a pair of gray boxers that do absolutely nothing to hide how rock hard he is.

Fuck. 

Before you can stop yourself, you rise up on your knees and move towards him, needing to get your hands on his body. On your knees before him while he’s standing, you only come up to his collar bones but that’s enough. You drop kisses on his heated flesh and relish the way his breath hitches in his throat when your lips make contact. He allows you to continue kissing him for several moments, his hands roaming all over your body. You don’t know how long it is but after his hands have taken full a full tour of your skin, he pulls back and looks at you with a primal glint in his eyes. “Lay down." He orders "I need my tongue on you. Now.” 

You obey and crawl back, watching him prowl after you. Your head rests on the pile of pillows as he covers you with his body and suddenly, the insecurity and anxiety from earlier flashes through your mind. You've never been with anyone who seemed to want to do anything but fuck you and then be done with it. This reverence for your body is completely foreign and the reality of what is about to happen crashes through the haze of lust that clouds your mind.

You must stiffen a bit because a frown appears on Lando's face as his arms cage you in and he hovers over you. “Baby?” 

You shake your head, refusing to let your insecurity ruin the night. Your eyes close and you take a deep breath to steady yourself.

“I’m fine.” You whisper but Lando doesn’t believe you. He drops back onto his knees and straddles you, drawing back so he can see your entire face. 

“What’s wrong? We don’t have to do this tonight if you’re not ready.” 

Your face heats, but from embarrassment this time. Fuck. You do not want to ruin this.

“No. It’s okay. I just…I’m just not used to this kind of attention.” You don’t tell him how your're used to being used for your body, for whatever pleasure your partner can get out of me and nothing more. You don’t tell him how insecure it makes you to think that he could do the same thing to you too, despite how safe and good he makes you feel no matter what. Sometimes, habits are hard to break. Especially habits that are born out of trauma. You can't tell him any of that though because you think it might break his heart. 

Lando tilts his head and seemingly understands what you're saying. “I don’t know what the fuck the guys in your life were thinking, having you in their bed and not treating you properly, but baby, I am not them. This is not about me, this is about you.” His fingers trace long, lazy lines from your shoulder down over your bra and continue down your body as you shudder with pleasure.

“That’s it." He coos. "I know you’re scared but I swear to you, you are safe with me.” His voice is barely a whisper but you can hear the sincerity in it. Your heart thunders in your chest as you hover between wanting to stop and throwing every bit of caution away and allowing him to do whatever he wants to you. 

“I know I am. I always have been.” You hum.

“Do you want to stop? You just have to say the word and we will. This is yours to control.” 

Your eyes search his for any trace of anger and when you find nothing but honesty in his face, you shake your head. “Please don’t stop.”

You desperately do not want him to stop. 

Once he’s sure you're okay, he crashes his mouth on yours once again and you melt into him. His body is so heavy on top of you but it feels oh so good. You never want it to end. You never want tonight to end. Lando presses kisses into your skin all down your body, starting at your jaw, moving slowly downwards. Kisses on that dip between your neck and shoulders, lower to your sternum, even lower to just above where your bra still sits. He stops then and snakes a hand behind you, lifting you up momentarily, and unclasps the back with surprising ease.

“Okay, that was way too easy for you.” You accuse, laughter bubbling up as he tosses the bra across the room. 

His eyes find yours and he shrugs casually, “What?” He feigns innocence, “Lucky first try?” 

“Oh, whatever. Get back to work.” You order, laughter teasing at the edge of your voice. 

Lando shakes his head again, dropping his head back where he had left off and turns his attention to one of your nipples, taking it fully in his mouth. You inhale a sharp breath at the sensation coursing through you. It feels like your skin is on fire, all leading down to a single throb between your legs. He hums in satisfaction when your back arches off the bed. A moan escapes your lips when he scrapes his teeth against the sensitive skin, the pain sends a jolt of electricity straight to your core. After what feels like an eternity, he turns his attention to the other nipple, already pebbled and hard, aching for the same attention. Your mind goes blank as you focus on the jolts of electricity coursing through your body. Your hands tangle in his curls, gripping at the tangles of brown hair, needing something to latch onto. 

“Lan.” His name is a whispered prayer on your lips. 

“Fuck. Baby.” He comes up for air briefly to look at you again and you almost can’t stand to look at him, he looks so good. His lips are swollen from kissing you for so long and he's got this heavy lidded, lustful hazy gaze in his eyes that you've never seen from him before.

“You taste so good.” He rasps before shifting back up to land kisses on your lips. You're so focused on what his lips are doing that you completely miss his fingers digging into your hips. You let out a startled cry when the sound of ripping fabric cuts through the breathy sighs that have filled the room. 

“Lando!” You whine, “I liked those!” You look at the torn bits of black lace that he’s dropped next to him on the bed and sigh dramatically.

“They were in my way. I’ll buy you fifty more tomorrow.” Without waiting for a response, his hand dips down towards your pussy and anticipation climbs in you. You gasp when he sinks not one, but two fingers into the heat between your legs.  Your entire body aches off the bed towards his hand. “Christ. Baby. You are fucking soaked for me, aren’t you?” 

It’s all you can do to just nod an affirmation as he swirls his fingers in achingly slow circles. His thick fingers inch closer to your clit but manage to avoid it and you know he’s doing it on purpose. You wiggle your hips in search of that friction you crave so badly but every time you get close, he moves his fingers out of the way. By the fourth time this happens, you're a whimpering mess underneath him and Lando is clearly enjoying it. “Lando.” You whimper. “Touch me.” 

“I am touching you.” He drops another hot kiss on your jaw and traces his tongue down your neck. You swear you're going to explode from the sensations coursing through your body. 

“You know exactly what I fucking mean.” You snap and move your hips again, only to find his fingers just short of the destination you want them in yet again. 

An evil chuckle tickles your skin. “I like you like this. A pretty little mess underneath me. My girl is so wet for me, isn’t she?” 

His girl. The emotions crash through you at his words and every other thought beyond those two words leaves your brain. 

His girl. 

His girl. 

Your brain chants the all consuming phrase. 

Just when you think you can’t take it any more and you feel that familiar tug at the base of your spine and Lando finally gives you what you've been aching for. The pad of his thumb brushes against your clit and your hips fly off the bed towards his fingers. A cry escapes your lips as you claw at his back. He keeps up the same pace and you can feel yourself barreling towards a delicious release.

“Please. Don’t. Stop.” You pant, breath coming in short gasps as you rock your hips against his hand. Thankfully, he keeps his hand exactly where it is and allows you to grind against it, knowing that this is exactly what you need from him. His lips come down on yours again and when he sucks your bottom lip into his mouth, you fly over the cliff.

Sweet release shatters your entire body and you stiffen against him. Your nails dig into his back, leaving little half moons embedded in his flesh. He’ll have red welts there for days and he couldn’t be happier about it. You don’t know how many times you cry out his name but he keeps completely still, allowing you to get the relief that you desperately need against him. 

When your orgasm subsides, you practically melt into the bed, mind too muddled with pleasure to talk. You open your eyes and grin lazily at Lando, who has shifted so he’s lying next to you on the bed. He’s grinning right back and tracing shiver-inducing lines up and down your naked skin.

“Fuck. Lando. That…” You are completely lost for words so it takes you a moment to form a complete sentence, “That was the first time anyones been able to make me come with just their fingers.” 

“Well, I’m glad I could be your first.” He smirks, dropping a kiss on your temple as he pulls you closer to him.

You turn to face him and you're struck at how handsome he is. His curly hair is messy from when you pulled at it while he was getting you off, his eyes glassy with satisfaction even though he hasn’t even come himself yet. He seems to get off just watching you and that is a completely foreign concept.

You reach out and feel the light stubble that covers his jaw, enjoying the rough feel against your fingers. You idly wonder what that stubble would feel like against your thighs and decide that you're just going to have to find out exactly what it feels like soon. That one single thought sends heat flooding through your veins once again and you're surprised. You've never considered myself to be one of those girls that could go several rounds. Usually you were finished after one orgasm, most of the time it was faked anyway. But with Lando laying next to you, you feel like you could do this for the rest of the night. A mischievous grin slips across your face as you reach over and push him back into the pillows.

Before you allow yourself to think about what you're doing, you straddle him and relish in the feeling of his dick that is now nudging against your ass. “I think I need you inside me now.” You tell him and squeal when his pupils blow and he flips you onto your back without warning. 

Hours later, you fall into such a deep sleep you don't notice Lando slip out of bed to get a drink of water from the bathroom. You'd spent the better part of the evening underneath him as he gradually worked you over so good you had lost count of how many times he had made you come.

The mattress dips when he joins you back in bed and Lando is surprised to find that he doesn't want to leave you. Up until meeting you, Lando had been more of a one night stand, never sleep over, kind of person when it came to sex. Getting back into bed with you and pulling you close so he could fall asleep with you tucked next to him was something he never thought he'd want but now that he had it, he knew he'd never be able to live without it again.

When Lando pulls you towards him, you stir a bit, enjoying the way the heat of his body warms your naked skin. You're so fucked out from everything Lando did to your body, your brain is a little sluggish but you turn into him, burying your head deep into his chest.

"You left me." You whine sleepily.

Lando slots his leg between yours, hitching your top leg up over his waist. "I'm sorry, baby." He whispers against your hair. "I needed a drink but I'm not going anywhere."

"I thought you left." In your sleepy haze, the words you probably would've tamped down slip out. "Please don't leave me."

Lando knows you're more than half asleep and probably don't realize what you're saying but something in your words has him feeling you don't just mean for the night. "I'm not going anywhere, sweet girl. Not ever." He whispers, listening to the soft cooing sound you make in response before you drift right back off to sleep.

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[ylangelegy]

i’m actually obsessed with your jealousy prompts…. what’s better than the most jealous mf around???

seungcheol + “they did that on purpose”

★ seungcheol x celebrity!reader ┆ word count: 970 ┆ part of my closed jealousy drabble game.

ⓘ established relationship, secret relationship, pet name ['baby'], angst [if you squint]. combined with another prompt c/o anon: "i'm going to scream."

"I'm going to file a complaint."

Seungcheol is being dead serious, and yet you laugh at him. You laugh!

"Baby," you start to say, your tone edged with that familiar exasperation you take on whenever you think he's being silly. He's having none of it tonight, though. He knows his theory is one hundred percent correct.

And so he juts his lip out in a pout, crosses his arms over his chest, and whines out his next words like he's some teenager instead of a 29-year-old man. "They did that on purpose!"

That, being the recent announcement of who would be the special hosts of MBC's year-end music show. When Seungcheol first caught wind that a member of SEVENTEEN might have the chance to share a stage with you, he had been ecstatic. While your relationship wasn't public knowledge yet, he was ready to make it glaringly obvious should he be chosen to be your co-host.

He's had whole daydreams about the moment. The hand he'd casually rest on the small of your back. The smile he'd give you that would have Twitter speculating for weeks. Maybe he could even post something vague on Weverse afterwards, some cutesy message of I'm so happy~ ❤️

Alas, all his hopes were dashed when the memo about the hosts went out this morning.

"They put you with Jeonghan on purpose," Seungcheol grumbles.

Jeonghan— the one person Seungcheol wouldn't be able to openly go up against. The company must've known Seungcheol would throw his idol image out of the window, must've known that there was only one person who Seungcheol wouldn't pick a fight with.

The fact that Jeonghan is being extra annoying— relentlessly teasing, calling himself 'Mr. Steal-Yo-Girl'— has only added insult to injury.

You reach out to tug Seungcheol into your side. Even though he's technically supposed to be upset, he can't help himself; the leader leans into your touch, draping himself over you.

Your couch has always been way too small for the two of you, even though Seungcheol insist it's a 'perfect' fit. He considers it perfect because he can always pull you into his lap and bury himself in you, which is exactly what he does now despite his sullen mood.

When your fingers instinctively entangle in his hair, a part of him relaxes. That very part bristles just as quickly when you quip, "Well, Jeonghan is the pretty one in the group."

"I'm going to scream," Seungcheol threatens.

You know your boyfriend enough to understand that he's at least half serious. "Alright, alright," you huff, giving his hair a light, reprimanding tug.

Seungcheol hisses at the sensation. You appease him by pressing your lips to his cheek.

You shift in his hold so your gazes can meet. The look on your face only makes Seungcheol's frown deepen. You're enjoying this. You're amused. You're not taking his predicament seriously.

"If he's so pretty," Seungcheol starts, ignoring the way you begin to roll your eyes as you anticipate what's to come.

"If he's so pretty, why don't you date him, then?" he asks, punctuating his words with a dejected sniffle. Seungcheol looks the part of a wounded puppy.

Eyebrows furrowed? Check. Lips pursed? Check. Boba-like eyes, meant to tug at the heartstrings? Check, check, check.

Unfortunately for him, your long-term relationship has steeled you to his petulance. You take his attempt at moping in stride, opting to press another kiss, this time to the corner of his mouth.

"Because I don't want him," you say patiently. "I want you, baby."

The words still manage to make Seungcheol's heart soar. He tries not to let it show on his face. He's trying to prove a point here. He refuses to be won over by sweet nothings, even if you're so lovely as you say them.

"You're going to be on stage with him instead of me." Seungcheol's arms tighten around your waist, his expression darkening slightly. "People are going to ship you."

A surprised bark of laughter escapes you. "How do you know what shipping is, huh?"

"You're changing the subject."

"Baby—"

The words come out of Seungcheol in a rush, fueled by his gripe with management's decision. "I want people to ship us," he grouses. "I want them to look at us and think, 'They look like they'd be the perfect couple,' because we are!"

Something softens in your expression, then, and Seungcheol knows exactly why. Promises of going public have been made since the beginning, but now it's several years in and there's no relationship announcement in sight for either of you.

Seungcheol's voice is quieter, a little more even, as he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

"I just want everybody to know that I love you," he says, the words muffled against your skin. "And that you love me, too."

You stroke Seungcheol's hair soothingly. He relaxes at the familiar ministration, letting his breaths even out.

"Soon," you mutter. "I promise, baby. We'll get that really soon."

Seungcheol bites back the urge to say that it's been soon for the past three years. This is something beyond both of your control. He's not about to make you feel guilty for something neither of you can change.

He settles for the next best thing. He tilts his head just so, allowing him to catch your lips in a kiss. It's sweet and unhurried. His favorite type.

It's the kind of kiss that makes the endless 'soon's worth it.

When you pull away for air, he wordlessly reaches for his phone. You're a bit out of breath as you watch him angle his screen away from you and type something out.

"What're you doing?" you ask, craning your neck to try and catch a glimpse.

"E-mailing the CEO of MBC," he says matter-of-factly. "To make me your co-host instead of Hannie."

"Choi Seungcheol!"

[antianakin]

So the thing we have to start with is that the more chip lore we've gotten, the less they have made sense. Even if we only look within the context of ONLY the films and TCW seasons 1-6, it can't just be based on what the clones think because otherwise Anakin would be fucked when he went to go lead them into the Temple. There HAS to be some sort of programming in there that excludes him from being killed and lets the clones know that he is no longer a Jedi. It can't just be that anyone with a lightsaber and use of the Force counts, because then Palpatine counts, too, obviously. So there needs to be a bare minimum of programming that allows for specific people to be EXCLUDED from the Order, this much is required. I generally just assumed Palpatine explicitly made sure the Order would never target himself or Anakin somehow.

But this programming is fucking wonky as hell the more we learn about it. Because suddenly in TCW season 7, Ahsoka gets counted as a Jedi automatically and Rex is incapable of using logic to convince the clones to let her be EXCLUDED based on a technicality. Which... okay, so I guess it's anybody with a lightsaber and Force sensitivity except Palpatine and Anakin perhaps, this still generally works. And then in TBB season 1, Wrecker's chip gets activated via head trauma and suddenly he's also targeting Omega, who... isn't Force sensitive and doesn't use a lightsaber. This is never explained, especially since she's explicitly said to not be Force sensitive later in season 3 (although I'd be willing to admit that this could've been a change made when they got cancelled partway through season 3, but also how does the chip somehow KNOW she's Force sensitive when she doesn't actually do anything with it visibly and Wrecker wouldn't have that knowledge even if it was true). And then in TOTE with Barriss, the clones just say "be glad you're not a Jedi" which seems to imply that it's her status as someone who's left the Jedi Order that is saving her from being killed.

These three instances DO NOT ALL WORK TOGETHER. You can make the argument that it only targets Force sensitive people, but then why target Omega (who isn't Force sensitive) and not Barriss (who is Force sensitive). You can try to argue that it will target any Jedi past or present, but then why would it target Omega. You can try to argue that it targets enemies of the Empire, but Omega isn't actually counted that way yet (Nala Se wants her BACK, no one's trying to kill Omega at this point) and Wrecker doesn't target the other Bad Batch members, JUST Omega. You can try to argue that maybe Palpatine has like added Barriss to the list of excluded people for Reasons, but then why would he have added OMEGA onto the list?

It wouldn't shock me if the writers for TOTE just didn't know about what was done on TBB and didn't care and weren't consulting it, but it should AT MINIMUM make sense with what was established in TCW. And if they were going to BREAK with what was established in TCW, the least they could've done was explain why (Palpatine knew she'd gone dark and so made sure the clones knew not to target her somehow).

(I don't think the writers of TBB gave a shit about continuity and everything else was written so badly that their addition to the chip lore being contradictory and stupid is completely expected, and therefore easily ignored, but it does still technically count as canon chip lore.)

Something that's less canon (might even be Legends, I'm not sure and I'm too lazy to look it up right now) is a comic where Darth Vader is chasing down Jocasta Nu at the Temple very early after Order 66 and some of the Coruscant Guard see him and his lightsaber and his use of the Force and start shooting him because they assume he is ALSO a Jedi and therefore must be killed (theoretically whatever exclusion existed for Anakin isn't being applied to him when he's in the Darth Vader get-up and doesn't look like Anakin anymore).

So how does the chip know who is or isn't a Jedi? It's never once been explained to us, and the few implied explanations we've gotten have been contradicted more than once. It might not even be only targeting Jedi ALONE, but anyone who is visibly Force sensitive. MAYBE Palpatine intentionally added Ahsoka to the list of people to be killed, or maybe he intentionally made sure Barriss was on the list of exceptions, but neither of these is actually explained to us or even implied to be true.

So how do the chips actually identify which people are intended to be killed via Order 66? Take your pick, I guess. Generally I stick with what works best within the films and TCW which is that the chip likely targets anyone who is visibly Force sensitive, wielding a lightsaber, and is known to be a Jedi, but with special exceptions for Palpatine and Anakin (and any Inquisitors are likely caught by people who AREN'T clones). This allows for Ahsoka to be caught up in it and unable to get out of that on a technicality. I don't like TBB or TOTE, I think they're both exceptionally badly written, so I'm just discounting them as stupid additions to the lore that don't make any sense. If you decide that you DO want to count TBB or TOTE into your canon, you might just have to accept that there now is no good Watsonian explanation for why the chips work the way they do in all of these different scenarios and the explanation is that the various writers simply did not give a shit about keeping the continuity straight between all of them.

There was an entire major plot element in the Order 66 arc of TCW season 7 about how the chip didn't care that Ahsoka wasn't technically a Jedi anymore and was forcing the clones to want to kill her anyway.

Like.

It's a pretty important part of that whole story that Ahsoka not being in the Jedi Order anymore DOESN'T exempt her from Order 66. It would've been a pretty boring story if that technicality had WORKED.

But somehow the clones guarding Barriss at the prison are totally fine applying that technicality to her.

I guess they just like her better than Rex and the 332nd liked Ahsoka in the end or something. Ironic.

[zivazivc]

I've been slowly tweaking these designs for a couple of weeks now, and now I can finally introduce the Uncles, the colorful group of friends/roommates who raised Hed and Les (word "raised" used loosely, but they definitely shared the living space with them).

From left to right: Kymani, Bramble, Adewale, Benji, Jenga, and Licorice "Ish" with his boys. Let's say Hed and Les are 15 and 19 here, maybe a year older, which means the rest are only in their mid 30s.

[volivolition]

DAY 4: DRAMA - Put on your prettiest face for the masses!

gonna start adding silly captions actually. [POINTS ACCUSINGLY] MELTY FUCK (AFFECTIONATE)!!

[thedawningofthehour]

In a little over a week we'll find out if we're about to have our first female president or live in Gilead.

To all my American readers who are adults and able to vote: please. Please vote. For the love of god, please. I can't fucking do this again.

[objectosexual]

I mentioned talking more in-depth about this in the tags of the original post but I think that sort of talk belongs here more than it does on main... Ramble incoming

It's no secret that I am hopelessly in love with Clockboy. I know from a realistic point of view, it's not reciprocated. It's probably not healthy. It's all me projecting thoughts and feelings onto an object. Him being a public object I can have no (personal) physical interactions with also complicates things. There is never going to be a reality where he will ever fully be able to meet all my physical and emotional needs in a romantic relationship (whereas my cars, for example, at least met the physical needs).

And yet... This love has not wavered at all since it began. Even on the nights when I'm in bed, alone, in physical pain because of how badly I long to be able to embrace him, it doesn't really sway my feelings. I will visit him and he will do something tiny that only I can pick up, and it will literally rekindle my love for him. It's hard to explain why this happens. I think it's me getting my hopes up over nothing, but it happens in such a way that it feels intentional.

An example I like to bring up is my trip to Disneyland in 2018. It was my first time "meeting" him in-person (to a degree; I had been to the park prior to then but I have virtually no memory of him specifically, and I was a kid. He is an ageless object but to keep things from being messy, I don't count those visits as me meeting him, especially since I wasn't even aware I was trans at age 10 lmfao). I was so excited to finally see and fully appreciate him. I don't have any distinct memories of him reacting to me in any way, until I visited him later that same day, alone from my travel party. They wanted to do something else so I opted to ride small world again and visit my boy to see his night time lighting package for the first time.

The thing that happened though was the ride started to break down, specifically, the propulsion jets were malfunctioning or something, because the ride started to drag out. Eventually I exited the show building and got stuck just before the unload dock. Within Clockboy's theoretical line of sight. For like, 15 minutes. Like this was literally my view:

I think about this so much. It felt so deliberate, even though I KNOW there was no way the big funny clock could control whether the ride works or breaks down... And yet. This has been a recurring theme for years now.

Any time a large enough gap in me visiting him occurs (usually over a month), the ride lags or breaks down. If I'm going to LEAVE for a while, the ride lags or breaks down. If he (somehow!) knows I have time to wait for the ride to open after a breakdown, it'll stay down until the last possible second and then reopen so I can get a ride in before I have to go home.

Like it happens just frequently enough that it just. Makes me wonder sometimes. Like too often to be a coincidence, but infrequently enough that it's not a like, typical ride malfunction pattern.

And again, I'm sure it's just a coincidence, and going to the park as often as I do, I'm sure some weird little things like that will happen but again, I just wonder if it's him somehow causing it. There have been other, smaller instances of him doing things, but I won't be going into those. One of them is too personal to explain, anyway.

Like. I know I technically get nothing out of this one-sided relationship other than dopamine when I see him. But it doesn't stop me from loving him with my entire heart, and I can't imagine loving him any less. I don't think it's possible.

I think Bob Iger himself could come up to me and say "Carson, you are delusional. The clock does not have feelings. It cannot love you back," and I would be unphased. I've had random people tell me that, and I've even told MYSELF that... And nothing ever changes.

I know realistically this isn't sustainable, and one day, I will no longer have these intense feelings for him. I hope everyday that this comes organically, and that we somehow "drift apart" over time, and that he isn't taken away from me due to a ride closure or disaster. But these thoughts genuinely scare me.

I try to let myself live in the moment, because why should I deny myself the opportunity to feel something so wonderful, toward something I think truly deserves all of the love in the world? If there's a nonzero chance Clockboy can feel anything, I hope he can feel that he is loved. And I hope that HE can love, too... Since he wouldn't be able to show his love to me the same way another human could, I hope the little instances of him making me linger near him are his way of trying to show me that I am loved by him.

He has done so much for me and I do truly think he is the most beautiful thing in the world. I legitimately cannot imagine my life without him at this point. Through all the joys of loving him, and the pains of not being able to be intimate with him. The warmness I feel when visiting him, and the fears of losing him. All the things I can and cannot control...

But one thing is certain: I will love him, to some degree, until the day I die. 🤍💛

*leaves this here* hi everyone, thanks for letting me be vulnerable

[sysig]

Didn’t know you had it in you, did you (Patreon)

[can-i-explode-now]

Do you remember that blind dating show Joel did where Bad Boy Joel ended up dating Please Subscribe Joel?

Well I drew it and it's probably the most explicitly shippy thing I have ever drawn and ever will draw

And cursed. There's that too. But I (probably) have drawn and will (definitely) draw worse.

So...

Sub's design works ok? He has a red t-shirt and under the waistcoat it has a play button.

You just can't see it.

Also I'm shit at side profile so there's that.

[plushee-cant-draw]

All of the (current) quotes for the depths of duplicity dst beta (that I can find)! (Including the ones from one of the new items)

Just a little late bc Klei didn't add most quotes for most characters until the most recent hotfix

Below the cut! because it is very, VERY long.

Not including any scrapbook entries but you can get all of those in game by opening the console with ~ I think, then ctrl to set the mode to local and then entering:

TheScrapbookPartitions:DebugUnlockEverything()

Or you can find them in the strings file.

The quotes are mostly taken directly from the code which is why they look like that. Below is what all of the string/code names mean/translate to in game. Notes from me, not the developers, are in ().

-- Rifts 4 (Most quotes can be found under "-- Rifts 4" but not all of them.) SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "Beefalo Gloom Bell", SADDLE_SHADOW = "Nightmare Saddle", (The saddle's design is partly based on the nightmare throne which is why some characters react the way they do to it.) SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "Shadow Maul", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "Gloomerang", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "Spelunker's Bridge Kit", GELBLOB = "Icker", RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Wrathful Rabbit King", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Benevolent Rabbit King", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Fortuitous Rabbit", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "Royal Rabbit Enforcer", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "Coat of Carrots", RABBITKINGHORN = "Burrowing Horn", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "Portable Den", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "Rabbit King Cudgel", RABBITHAT = "Warren Wreath", WORM_BOSS = "Great Depths Worm", RUINSNIGHTMARE = "Lurking Nightmare", (As a shadow, the chracters don't have quotes for this.) ITEMMIMIC_REVEALED = "Mimicreep", (I don't think characters have direct examination quotes for this but they can react to trying to use it and failing) STONE_CHAIR = "Stone Chair", STONE_STOOL = "Stone Stool", STONE_TABLE_ROUND = "Stone Round Table", STONE_TABLE_SQUARE = "Stone Square Table",

(Characters don't have quotes for these two since I think these are just mass crafting recipes for the saw horse.) BOARDS_BUNCH = "Bunch o' Boards", CUTSTONE_BUNCH = "Bunch o' Stone", CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "Moon Glass Saw Blade", CHEST_MIMIC = "Ornate Chest", (Has the same name as other chests that spawn in the labyrinth) CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "Ornery Chest", SHADOWHEART_INFUSED = "Posessed Shadow Atrium", (At the time of writing this all characters use their normal shadow atrium quotes for the possessed shadow atrium so this item doesn't show up in the quotes.)

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "Ink Blight", SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH_ALLEGIANCE = "Rictus", (Shadow thrall mouth and shadow thrall stealth are the same ink blight)

(Also, while the quotes for the ornate chest (PANDORASCHEST) and announcing the worm waves are both old, but they're included because some of the new character quotes relate to them and they're good for context.)

Anyways I think that's every thing ^w^

Wilson: -- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "It's a dead ringer for my old beefalo bell.", SADDLE_SHADOW = "It reminds me of something. Ugh.", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "Yikes! I'd rather bury this hatchet.", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "What's the return policy?", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "This will keep us in suspense!", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "'Ick' is right!", HAS_ITEM = "Oh, that's where I left it.", HAS_CHARACTER = "Someone's in a sticky situation.", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "It has a hare-trigger temper!", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "All hail the bun-evolent one!", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "I should capture it for science!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "They're hoppin' mad!", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "I like a tight-knit bunch.", RABBITKINGHORN = "The rabbits dig music.", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "I'll use it now and den.", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "This will give a good thumpin'.", RABBITHAT = "It'll put hare on your head.", WORM_BOSS = "It's a big worm!", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "I use tables periodically.", HAS_ITEM = "I use tables periodically.", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "I'd like to sit on that... rockin' chair!", OCCUPIED = "Somebody else is sitting on that.", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "Razor-sharp, like my mind!",

PANDORASCHEST = "It may contain something fantastic! Or horrible.", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "Horrible! Definitely horrible!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "I felt it digesting me.", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "Something bit me! Where did it go?!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Something is clawing its way to the surface.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Something is softly scuffling underground.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "What a strange rabbit!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "Got you!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Maybe the rabbits don't dig this spot.",

ITEMMIMIC = "Well that's inconvenient.",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Did you feel that?", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "That sounds ominous?",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "It's a mouthy one.",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "I'm sensing the gravity of the situation!", (I'm pretty sure this is a new quote for when characters are about to fall into the void in the caves.)

Willow: -- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "I wonder if it will remember how it died.", SADDLE_SHADOW = "I could shoot a fire dart or two from there.", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "Nasty. I like it.", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "Hmm, this could be fun.", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "I'd rather burn a bridge than build one.", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "Yuck. No, thank you.", HAS_ITEM = "Whatever is in there, I don't want it that badly.", HAS_CHARACTER = "Maybe I should help.", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "You have some real issues, buddy.", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "What does it want?", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "I want that rabbit!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "Don't you guys have anything better to do?", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "Do they come roasted?", RABBITKINGHORN = "Rabbit music?", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "Will the rabbits chew my things?", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "The original owner was a jerk.", RABBITHAT = "Ha! I want it.", WORM_BOSS = "Must be the mother.", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "I'm not sure how to feel about non-flammable furniture.", HAS_ITEM = "I'm not sure how to feel about non-flammable furniture.", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "That definitely will not burn.", OCCUPIED = "You can sit there. That chair will not spontaneously combust.", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "I wish I could throw it.",

PANDORASCHEST = "Kind of tacky.", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "Kind of nasty.",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "Why does that exist?!", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "Ouch! What the heck was that?!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Something's coming, and it doesn't sound happy.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "I think something is burrowing.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "That is one unique rabbit!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "Gotcha!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Picky, picky.",

ITEMMIMIC = "Burned again!",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "I do NOT wanna see what made that sound!", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "Let's not stick around for that.",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "Somehow I don't trust that smile.",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "Oh crap!",

Wolfgang:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "Can bring back Wolfgang hair-cow?", SADDLE_SHADOW = "Saddle make Wolfgang look dangerous, no?", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "Does axe have to be so scary?", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "Wolfgang never miss... most of time.", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "Promise it will keep Wolfgang from falling to death?", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "Don't let it get on Wolfgang.", HAS_ITEM = "Something inside but Wolfgang not like getting hands dirty.", HAS_CHARACTER = "Don't fear, Wolfgang save you!", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Nasty little guy.", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Aww, is good-natured rabbit.", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Let Wolfgang catch you, little rabbit!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "Bad bunny! Don't hit Wolfgang!", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "Looks healthy.", RABBITKINGHORN = "Wolfgang is jazz man.", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "Rabbit take care of Wolfgang things!", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "Is horn of mean rabbit.", RABBITHAT = "Cute, no?", WORM_BOSS = "It is the mama worm.", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "Is table.", HAS_ITEM = "Is table.", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "Is tiny chair strong enough to hold Wolfgang?", OCCUPIED = "Do not worry, friend. Wolfgang will stand.", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "Wolfgang once receive nasty cut from glass.",

PANDORASCHEST = "Fancy box!", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "Wolfgang knew box too fancy to be true!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "That is no place for Wolfgang.", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "Aah! Who... what bite Wolfgang?", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "What is that digging? Sound angry.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Wolfgang hear something softly digging.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "That is strange rabbit!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "Wolfgang!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Wolfgang in wrong place.",

ITEMMIMIC = "Fool Wolfgang, shame on you!",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Earth is tremble beneath Wolfgang's mighty feet!", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "Wolfgang suggest run and live to fight another day.",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "That smile make Wolfgang uncomfortable.",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "The void hungers for sweet Wolfgang!",

Wendy:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "A shame it only works for beefalo.", SADDLE_SHADOW = "The higher you sit, the farther you fall.", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "A beautiful death bringer.", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "They don't all come back.", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "A rope over an abyss.", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "Looks sticky.", HAS_ITEM = "I don't know if it's worth it.", HAS_CHARACTER = "They probably need help.", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "It's in a foul mood.", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "He seems friendly enough.", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "I should take a closer look.", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "You're making me angry.", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "I assume it only comes in orange.", RABBITKINGHORN = "I guess it plays a type of burial song.", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "It's like a grave for my things.", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "Death by rabbit antler. Cute.", RABBITHAT = "Fine. It's adorable.", WORM_BOSS = "Nothing goes extinct here.", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "Abigail's favorite hiding spot.", HAS_ITEM = "Abigail's favorite hiding spot.", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "Abigail?", OCCUPIED = "You might be sitting on Abigail.", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "Pretty. If it was smaller I'd wear it around my neck.",

PANDORASCHEST = "Life is a gamble.", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "I did not expect that.",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "I don't prefer a slow death.", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "Show yourself. I've seen worse.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Something clawing it's way back from the grave?", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "A gentle creature approaches.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "That's an unusual rabbit.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "Got it!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Not here.",

ITEMMIMIC = "It was the evil twin.",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Uh-oh. I think we should leave.", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "We need to go. Now.",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "What are you? The Grin Reaper?",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "It's fine...",

WX-78:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "I CAN REBOOT MY BEEFALO MINION", SADDLE_SHADOW = "NOT BAD", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "IT CRAVES FLESH. GROSS... BUT ACCEPTABLE.", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "THE MEATBAGS WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT THEM", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "SO SIMPLE A FLESHLING CAN BUILD IT", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "IT WILL CAUSE LAG", HAS_ITEM = "CONTAINS OBJECT", HAS_CHARACTER = "CONTAINS SUBJECT", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "HOSTILE OLD RABBIT", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "GIVE ME A REASON NOT TO DESTROY YOU", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "MUST OBTAIN RABBIT", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "PATIENCE, BUNNY. I WILL KILL YOU SOON", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "FILTHY", RABBITKINGHORN = "I HATE THE SOUND IT MAKES", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "NEVER TRUST A RABBIT", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "THE FLESHLING FOUND ITS PURPOSE", RABBITHAT = "OVER MY INANIMATE BODY", WORM_BOSS = "SO MUCH PULSING VILE FLESH", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "IT IS A TABLE", HAS_ITEM = "CONGRATULATIONS TABLE, YOU HAVE FULFILLED YOUR PRIMARY FUNCTION", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "MY CHAIR", OCCUPIED = "I WAS GOING TO SIT THERE", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "I LIKE IT",

PANDORASCHEST = "CONTENT PROBABILITIES ARE UNCERTAIN", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "CERTAINLY DISGUSTING",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "GEARS LUBRICATED, ALTHOUGH NEARLY TERMINATED", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "MUST DISABLE STEALH MECHANISM AND KILL IT", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "AGGRESSIVE DIGGING DETECTED", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "NON-THREATENING ORGANIC MOVEMENT DETECTED BELOW SURFACE", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "UNIQUE RABBIT DETECTED", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "MINE", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "ERROR: INVALID LOCATION DETECTED",

ITEMMIMIC = "DECEPTION",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "SLIMY ORGANICS APPROACHING", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "MASSIVE MEATTUBE INCOMING",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "KEEP SMILING...",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "UNSTABLE SURFACE DETECTED",

Wickerbottom:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "It revives one's dead beefalo by a simple mechanism: magic.", SADDLE_SHADOW = "A beefalo saddle fitted for combat.", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "There is a price to wielding such implements.", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "This particular projectile gains strength with distance before returning to origin.", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "Not exactly a marvel of engineering, but I'm sure it will do.", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "Icker is a highly adhesive gelatinous substance.", HAS_ITEM = "There appears to be an object inside.", HAS_CHARACTER = "Someone is trapped inside and can't get out.", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "That rabbit has a rather hostile disposition.", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "It is a reputable breed known for fair dealings.", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "That is a rabbit worth capturing.", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "Must be an aggressive breed.", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "This will be a big hit with the bunnymen.", RABBITKINGHORN = "It plays a melody meant for rabbit ears.", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "The rabbits will keep my things safe.", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "Not the most menacing weapon but it will ward off unwelcome bunnymen.", RABBITHAT = "This silly headpiece will render the wearer non-threatening to rabbits.", WORM_BOSS = "This one is older, larger... deadlier.", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "Perfect for enjoying a cup of tea and a good book.", HAS_ITEM = "Perfect for enjoying a cup of tea and a good book.", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "Reminds me of the chair in my reading nook. Just stonier.", OCCUPIED = "If you're going to sit, you might as well read.", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "A moon glass saw blade. Sharp enough to cut stone.",

PANDORASCHEST = "An artifact which may contain other artifacts.", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "This creature mimics an artifact.",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "I do not wish to experience that again.", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "I've been bitten by a camouflaged creature!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Some form of creature is aggressively tunneling in the subterrain.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "I hear the burrowing of a small creature.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "What a peculiar breed of rabbit!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "Got you!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "This is obviously not the correct place for it.",

ITEMMIMIC = "I knew it.",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Something nasty intends to rear its head.", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "Something monstrous approaches.",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "A sensible person would avoid the toothy maw.",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "It will not hold!",

Woodie:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "This'll bring'er right back.", SADDLE_SHADOW = "Looks a little warlordy, eh?", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "Lucy, I can explain!", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "Let's huck it at something.", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "Think she'll hold, Luce?", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "It's like some weird tar.", HAS_ITEM = "Hmm, is it worth fishin' it out?", HAS_CHARACTER = "I don't think they can breath in there.", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the den.", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Hey lil' buddy, whatcha got for us?", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Let's get'er, Luce!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "Back off, bunny!", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "Nice carrot vest.", RABBITKINGHORN = "A horn, eh? I prefer woodwinds.", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "Guess you can never have too much storage.", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "The rabbit's violence lives on!", RABBITHAT = "I can't keep up with these trends.", WORM_BOSS = "We can take her, Luce!", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "What kind of wood is this?!", HAS_ITEM = "What kind of wood is this?!", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "It looks a bit hard for my behind.", OCCUPIED = "They're takin' a load off, eh?", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "I know, Lucy. You're more versatile.",

PANDORASCHEST = "What's in the box?!", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "No! Noooo!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "I think some got in my mouth!", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "What the heck bit me?", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Hear that clawing, Luce?", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Something's crawling in the dirt.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Lookit that rabbit, Lucy!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "Got'er!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Maybe we should try somewhere else.",

ITEMMIMIC = "Don't say it, Lucy!",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Oh geez. I hope you're ready, Lucy.", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "Sounds like a hefty one, eh Luce?",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "Yeesh, that smile is giving me the creeps.",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "Save yourself, Lucy!",

Wes:

Maxwell:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "This is some decent magic.", SADDLE_SHADOW = "I hate it.", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "Lovely.", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "Wonderous... and in my color too.", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "Ugh. You have to build it?!", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "Blegh.", HAS_ITEM = "Don't expect me to reach in there.", HAS_CHARACTER = "This one is occupied.", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Of course Simon's brute cousin fights his battles for him.", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Spare me the token gesture. Simon knows what he did.", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "You've embarassed me for the last time, Simon!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "Tell scallywag Simon I've got a hat he'll never escape from!", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "A little obsessed with bunnies, are we?", RABBITKINGHORN = "I doubt its reliability.", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "You think I'd trust their ilk to hold my things?", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "About all they're good for.", RABBITHAT = "The rabbit goes in the hat, not on it. Preposterous.", WORM_BOSS = "Who unearthed this monstrosity?", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "Someone should really set this table.", HAS_ITEM = "Who set this table? It's all wrong.", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "I'm appalled by the idea of sitting for some reason.", OCCUPIED = "Good. You sit. Forever.", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "Fancy... for a laborer's tool.",

PANDORASCHEST = "It's a trap.", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "It's a trap!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "Gaah! The horror!", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "Who bit me? Show yourself, coward!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "A frenzy of activity underfoot.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Some crawling creature beneath us, no doubt.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Simon, you rapscallion!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "I've got you now, Simon!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Typical rabbit. Never there when you need them.",

ITEMMIMIC = "I'm losing my touch.",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Oh dear. I know what's making that sound.", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "Curses. I know that sound.",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "What are you smiling at, pal?",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "That's not good.",

Wigfrid:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "We shall ride again!", SADDLE_SHADOW = "A fine saddle for slaying.", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "I shall bring down many a beast with that cursed axe.", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "There will be no escape for my foes.", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "'Tis no Bifrost, but 'twill do.", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "Cursed nectar of Helheim!", HAS_ITEM = "What is that flotant herfang?", HAS_CHARACTER = "Bestow succor upon that poor soul, lest they perish in that cursed tar.", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "How adorable!", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "The diminutive lord seeks commerce!", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "I must capture it alive!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "I shall send you to the endless carrot patch.", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "'Tis better to wear than eat them, I suppose.", RABBITKINGHORN = "The rabbit had best heed my call.", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "The rabbits pledge to safeguard my loot within their lair.", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "It shall be a delightful insult to mine enemies to perish by rabbit antler.", RABBITHAT = "Ridiculous.", WORM_BOSS = "A snake beast worthy of mine spear!", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "No sorrier sight than a bare table. Let us plunder!", HAS_ITEM = "Not the most impressive piece of loot.", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "A warrior doth not sit.", OCCUPIED = "On your feet, soldier!", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "A shame it is not a weapon.",

PANDORASCHEST = "It contains a mystery.", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "It contained not a mystery, but a curse!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "Thank Odin, I am free!", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "Revealeth thyself, fiend!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Which denizen of the underworld draws near?", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "A creature approaches from beneath.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Odd rabbit! A sign from the gods?", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "I have you, fateful rabbit!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Are you not satisfied with the place?!",

ITEMMIMIC = "Infernal trickster.",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "The earth quakes with the approach of a foe!", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "A behemoth approaches.",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "I shall wipe that grin off thine face.",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "'Tis not my time to fall!",

Webber:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "We can save our beefalo!", SADDLE_SHADOW = "We love riding beefalo! Wheee!", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "We'll be careful. Promise!", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "Oooh, fun!", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "We can help!", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "Can we play with it?", HAS_ITEM = "There's a prize inside!", HAS_CHARACTER = "Are you stuck?", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "What a grouchy ol' rabbit!", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Hello, Mister Rabbit!", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "We'll catch it!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "Nasty rabbit.", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "Does this count as eating our vegetables?", RABBITKINGHORN = "What kind of music do rabbits like?", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "We can hide things with the rabbits!", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "It's a little fuzzy, like us!", RABBITHAT = "Haha!", WORM_BOSS = "Wow.", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "I remember drawing at the table.", HAS_ITEM = "I remember drawing at the table.", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "Mother said I could never sit still.", OCCUPIED = "Mother said I could never sit still.", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "Ms. Wickerbottom said we should be extra careful with that.",

PANDORASCHEST = "Stylish storage.", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "We didn't touch it!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "We're all sticky!", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "Ouch! No fair! We can't see you!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "We hear something coming! And it sounds grouchy!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Something's burrowing around us!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "We see a wierd rabbit!", (sic) ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "We caught it!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Aw, wrong spot!",

ITEMMIMIC = "Aw, I guessed wrong!",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Ohhh nooo. We're not friends with worms!", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "Yikes! Here comes a BIG worm!",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "It's smiling at us! Maybe it wants to play!",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "Let's get out of here!",

Winona:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "One lucky beefalo is gonna get a second chance.", SADDLE_SHADOW = "Looks kinda forebodin', don't it?", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "It ain't a precision tool.", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "Round trip included!", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "We're puttin' a lot of trust in this thing.", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "That ain't no engine grease I ever seen.", HAS_ITEM = "Looks like somethin's caught inside.", HAS_CHARACTER = "Someone's in tough spot.", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "What is your problem, rabbit?!", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Friendly lil' fella ain't he?", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Gotta catch me that rabbit!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "Must be somethin' in the carrots.", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "Huh. Guess ya can make clothes out of just about anything.", RABBITKINGHORN = "It must play a thumpin' tune.", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "Mighty kind of them rabbits.", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "Never thought of makin' weapons out of rabbit parts.", RABBITHAT = "Okay, that's pretty darn cute.", WORM_BOSS = "Now that's a big ol' worm.", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "I don't care if it's fancy, just solidly built.", HAS_ITEM = "It's doin' what tables do.", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "Looks sturdy enough.", OCCUPIED = "Looks like that seat's spoken for.", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "That is one sweet saw blade.",

PANDORASCHEST = "Best not open that.", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "Didn't I tell ya?!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "Let's not speak of this again.", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "Ow! Quit skulkin' and fight me fair!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "What's with all that scratchin'?", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "I hear a critter comin'.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "There is somethin' about that rabbit!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "Gotcha, rabbit!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Nope, ain't the right spot.",

ITEMMIMIC = "I knew it felt funny.",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Was that a tremor?", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "Oh man, that's a big one.",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "Somebody's got a big mouth!",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "Best hustle!",

Warly:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "Ring the bell for seconds!", SADDLE_SHADOW = "Best seat in the house!", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "I've never seen a cleaver like that before.", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "Many happy returns!", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "This looks like a recipe for disaster.", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "That is unappetizing.", HAS_ITEM = "There is something floating in the gelatin.", HAS_CHARACTER = "There is someone floating in the gelatin.", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "It is tough, even for stew.", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "A gentle creature. Hopefully.", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "I promise not to cook you!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "They are not trying to cuddle.", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "Fresh style, non?", RABBITKINGHORN = "Do rabbits have a taste for music?", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "A cellar!", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "Made from real rabbit antler.", RABBITHAT = "Cute topper.", WORM_BOSS = "That worm looks hungry!", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "All it's missing are homecooked food and good wine.", HAS_ITEM = "All it's missing are homecooked food and good wine.", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "Mon chair.", OCCUPIED = "Leur chair.", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "Will it slice le jambon?",

PANDORASCHEST = "It's quite magnificent.", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "It's quite horrible!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "I thought I was going to expire in there.", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "Non non, I refuse to be a delicious morsel!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Something unpleasant brewing below.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "I hear a gentle rustling beneath our feet.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "That is a rare rabbit, indeed!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "Voilà! Got you!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Perhaps the accoustics are not ideal here.",

ITEMMIMIC = "Thought it smelled off.",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Huh? What's that?", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "I don't like the sound of that.",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "It smiles, but is it happy?",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "It is not the fall that kills you...",

Wortox:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "A bell to bring back the beef!", SADDLE_SHADOW = "Shall we take a ride on the dark side?", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "Foes will take pause, when they see the claws.", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "Delivering death from a distance!", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "Hope the rope holds.", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "Ick! It sticks!", HAS_ITEM = "Enough with the guff! Let's get that stuff!", HAS_CHARACTER = "They're frowning because they're drowning! Hyuyu!", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Let his kicks miss you, he's got an anger issue!", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "The hare has an air about him.", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "That rabbit! Grab it!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "It's a warrin' warren!", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "Carrot? Wear it!", RABBITKINGHORN = "It plays a tunneling tune.", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "Subterranean storage service", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "A bludgeon from a long-eared curmudgeon.", RABBITHAT = "Aww, lookit that! A rabbit hat!", WORM_BOSS = "Squirmy wormy! Hyuyu!", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "Now, will the tables turn?", HAS_ITEM = "The centerpiece has been set.", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "I'll take a seat and rest my feet.", OCCUPIED = "Move your rear, I want to sit here!", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "But what does it cut?",

PANDORASCHEST = "Open it, open it!", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "Why did we open it?!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "I could've died inside!", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "I felt a keen blow, from an unseen foe!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "I'm serious, what approaches sounds furious!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "What's that sound from underground?", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "A special rabbit! Please don't stab it!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "Got it!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Not quite the site.",

ITEMMIMIC = "Can't stand it! Left empty-handed!",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Something approaches from beneath!", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "Don't bumble about, upon that rumble, no doubt!",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "I'd rather see that smile from a mile.",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "No time to rhyme, lest we hear death's chime!",

Wormwood:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "Un-die Shaggy Buddy", SADDLE_SHADOW = "Ride Shaggy Buddy!", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "Not nice!", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "Dark Returny Stick?", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "Make air steps", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "Stick-stick goop", HAS_ITEM = "What inside?", HAS_CHARACTER = "Help stuck friend!", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Mean Squee Hopper!", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Nice Squee Hopper", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Catch Special Squee Hopper!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "Mean Squee Hopper's mean friend!", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "Wear orange belly stuff?", RABBITKINGHORN = "Play Squee Hopper song?", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "Thanks Squee Hopper!", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "Mean Squee Hopper stick", RABBITHAT = "Squee Hopper hat", WORM_BOSS = "Hello, big wiggly!", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "Empty table", HAS_ITEM = "Table full", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "Sit Place", OCCUPIED = "That okay! Will sit somewhere else", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "Careful, friends! Sharp!",

PANDORASCHEST = "Stuff!", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "Bad stuff! Bad!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "Bad sticky", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "Bad No-See Biter!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Grumpy digging!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Soft digging", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Look! Special Squee Hopper!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "Hug Squee Hopper!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Wrong here!",

ITEMMIMIC = "Wrong friend!",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Wigglies are coming", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "Big Wiggly!",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "Bad smile!",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "Uh oh",

Wurt: -- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "Wake up sleeping friend.", SADDLE_SHADOW = "Pretty friend riding chair.", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "Choppy time!", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "Dark come-back stick!", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "Don't scared! Me build SOOO safe bridge.", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "Want to touch it.", HAS_ITEM = "Florp! Surprise inside!", HAS_CHARACTER = "Hello!", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Angry old rabbit likes kicking. Glurgh.", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Hi, friendly mustache rabbit!", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Me gonna get you!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "Flort, Bunnyman! Me thought we friends!", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "Me wear it.", RABBITKINGHORN = "Me blow rabbit horn horn.", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "Thanks rabbit!", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "Angry old rabbit horn!", RABBITHAT = "Me love it much.", WORM_BOSS = "Don't eat me!", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "Table not set yet!", HAS_ITEM = "Wicker-lady! Table all set!", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "Oooh, fancy sitting-place!", OCCUPIED = "Wanna turn! Move over!", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "Pretty moon cutter!", PANDORASCHEST = "What in the box?", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "Mouth box! Glorp!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "Slimey!", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "Glurph! Unhide bitey mouth!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Glorp, who angry digging?", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "What coming? Sound... nice?", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Oooh funny rabbit!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "Flort!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Glorp. Not here.",

ITEMMIMIC = "Bad tricker!",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Glurt?", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "Glorp!",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "Glorp! Much teeth!",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "Glurp... this bad.",

Walter:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "Like first aid but magic.", SADDLE_SHADOW = "Neat seat!", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "Woby, I think it winked at me!", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "You don't fetch this one, Woby.", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "This is basic Pinetree Pioneer stuff... now, where are those instructions?", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "Don't get stuck, Woby!", HAS_ITEM = "Do you see what's inside, Woby?", HAS_CHARACTER = "Are you in need of assistance?", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Someone's in a bad mood!", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "It looks friendly!", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Let's catch it, Woby!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "Who's a cranky pants?", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "Nice VESTable! Get it, Woby?", RABBITKINGHORN = "I can't carrot a tune! Heh. Nice, Walter.", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "Woby, now you don't have to carry everything!", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "The most striking part of the rabbit. Heh.", RABBITHAT = "Whoever wears that is a real hare-brain! Oh, Walter!", WORM_BOSS = "A monster worm!", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "Woby, no paws on the table!", HAS_ITEM = "Woby, no paws on the table!", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "Sorry Woby, that's not for you.", OCCUPIED = "Sorry Woby, that's not for you.", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "Be careful, Woby! It's sharp!", PANDORASCHEST = "There's got to be something good inside!", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "And I was right! It's a box monster, Woby!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "That was not fun.", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "Yikes! What bit me, Woby?", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "Woby, do you hear digging? Sounds angry!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "Something's digging underground!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "Look at that rabbit, Woby!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "Gotcha!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "Why won't it work here?",

ITEMMIMIC = "Oops!",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "Something's moving...", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "Something's coming. Something big.",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "It's a silly one!",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "Woby, run!",

Wanda:

-- Rifts 4 SHADOW_BEEF_BELL = "A way to reset the clock for my beefalo!", SADDLE_SHADOW = "If one must sit, they might as well be moving.", SHADOW_BATTLEAXE = "That will fell a tree in no time.", VOIDCLOTH_BOOMERANG = "Right back to where we started... sigh.", ROPE_BRIDGE_KIT = "Looks rather shoddy but it beats taking the long way around.", GELBLOB = { GENERIC = "I can't let it slow me down.", HAS_ITEM = "What's that inside?", HAS_CHARACTER = "Oh dear...", }, RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "You have a horrible attitude.", RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "What a sweet little fellow.", RABBITKING_LUCKY = "I know I should catch that rabbit!", RABBITKINGMINION_BUNNYMAN = "From a bad litter, indeed.", ARMOR_CARROTLURE = "I can see why the bunnies love it.", RABBITKINGHORN = "It plays a familiar tune.", RABBITKINGHORN_CHEST = "I hope I don't forget what I put in there.", RABBITKINGSPEAR = "Surprisingly intimidating.", RABBITHAT = "A fashion statement?", WORM_BOSS = "We go back, don't we?", STONE_TABLE = -- Shared between the round and square tables. { GENERIC = "A table. Will wonders never cease.", HAS_ITEM = "Yes, there is something on it.", }, STONE_CHAIR = { GENERIC = "I believe in my time, we called that a chair.", OCCUPIED = "It is occupied.", }, CARPENTRY_BLADE_MOONGLASS = "Well, does it saw faster?",

PANDORASCHEST = "What's the harm in taking an itty-bitty peek?", CHEST_MIMIC_REVEALED = "Totally not worth the peek!",

-- rifts 4 ANNOUNCE_EXIT_GELBLOB = "That felt like forever!", ANNOUNCE_SHADOWTHRALL_STEALTH = "What was that? Expose that foul beast!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_AGGRESSIVE = "I can hear clawing underground.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_PASSIVE = "There's something moving below.", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKY = "I've seen that rabbit before!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKING_LUCKYCAUGHT = "We meet again!", ANNOUNCE_RABBITKINGHORN_BADSPAWNPOINT = "I should have known this was the wrong place.",

ITEMMIMIC = "Next time I'll choose the right one.",

ANNOUNCE_WORMS = "That rumble felt... ominous.", ANNOUNCE_WORMS_BOSS = "It's coming...",

SHADOWTHRALL_MOUTH = "It's far too happy!",

ANNOUNCE_PREFALLINVOID = "Time to get to solid ground!",

Wonkey:

...Hopefully I didn't miss anything currently. Anyways, the shadow maul/axe has a lot of unique quotes (it can speak, kinda like the shadow reaper and Lucy.)

It's quotes are below:

overtime_l2 = { "Sh-sharp.", "We k-kill n-now?", "Ch-chop.", "H-hack... ha-ack? HACK!", }, overtime_l3 = -- And level 4 too! { "Let me axe you a question. Why aren't we killing something?", "What shall we destroy next, wielder?", "I know I have a rough edge. But I can still cut it.", "Can you hack it?", "What are you waiting for, wielder?", "We haven't murdered something in forever.", "We shall commit unspeakable acts of savagery!", "Mortal, do you realize what we are capable of together?", }, overtime_l4 = { "It's been a journey, wielder.", "I reflect on our path of destruction with fondness.", "Remember how much fun we had killing things?", }, overtime_woodie_l2 = { "Fo-for...get... forget h-her...", "M-mi... mine.", "He's... m-mine.", "Wo... Woo... Woodie.", }, overtime_woodie_l3 = -- And level 4 too! { "Heard you're an axe man.", "Forget your crazy axe.", "Sever your ties with that old battle axe.", "Just me and hew.", "I fell for you.", }, overtime_woodie_l4 = { "I just want a simple wielding.", "I'll never cleave you.", "Let's carve our names in a tree.", }, chopping_l2 = { "Ch- cho- chop. CHOP!", "Ch- chop tree... CHOP TREE!", "CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!", "Swi-ing... Swing!", "More...", }, chopping_l3 = -- And level 4 too! { "No tree is safe from us.", "CHOP-CHOP!", "We're in full swing now, wielder!", "Chop'em down. Chop'em all down.", "I was meant for greater things... fleshier things.", "Only flesh will sustain me.", "Where's the challenge?", }, chopping_l4 = { "Every tree shall fall before us.", "Trees feel pain... but not enough.", "I prefer the mobile variety.", },

chopping_woodie_l2 = { "Yes.", "All... m-mine.", "Wo... W-Woodie... i-is... mine!", }, chopping_woodie_l3 = -- And level 4 too! { "Forget her.", "No one will ever split us apart.", "Hold me tight!", }, chopping_woodie_l4 = { "Hew and me... FOREVER.", "Never let me go.", "I love hew!", }, hungry_l2 = { "Hungry!", "F-feed me!", "M-must... k-kill.", "Me-meat!", "Fl... fl-flesh!", }, hungry_l3 = -- And level 4 too! { "So hungry.", "I need to fleshen up.", "Find us something to kill.", "How about some pork chops?", "GASH, I'm so hungry!", "You need to MEAT me halfway.", "I crave beast flesh!", "When do we eat?", "I need meat.", }, hungry_l4 = { "You dare neglect me, mortal?", "Death gives me life.", "Wielder, you've changed.", }, starving_l2 = { "Starv... starving!", "D-dying!", "F-find... fl-flesh... now!", "Must h-have mmm-MEAT!", }, starving_l3 = -- And level 4 too! { "Feed me, NOW.", "Why do you starve me, cruel mortal?", "Are you trying to kill me, wretched mortal?", "Feed me before it's too late!", "We need to murder something, now!", "Getting... weaker.", "If I'm not killing, I'm dying!", "Not to be dramatic, but... I'M STARVING TO DEATH!", }, starving_l4 = { "Cursed mortal.", "Is this the end?", "It can't end like this.", "Come too far... tasted too much...", }, level_up_l2 = { "F-feel... str-strange...", "Some... thing... ha-happening.", "Stro... str-stronger!", "Aw... awa- awake.", }, level_up_l3 = { "I'm changing.", "My strength grows!", "I'm evolving!", }, level_up_l4 = { "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!", "Nothing can stop us now, wielder!", "AXE-IMUM POWER!!!", }, epic_killed_l2 = { "Yes.", -- 1st kill. "More... new... meat.", -- 2nd kill. }, epic_killed_l3 = { "Sumptuous! We're on the right path, wielder!", -- 1st kill. "We're on the cusp, wielder. I FEEL IT.", -- 2nd kill. }, epic_killed_l4 = { "OH YES.", "So juicy!", "A satisfying meal.", "Worthy.", "Beautiful!", "A delight!", "I am satiated.", "A fine feast of flesh.", "Gluttonous!", "Thank you, wielder.", "I'm proud of us.", },

creature_killed_l2 = { "Fun.", "I l-like.", "Want b-big... meat.", "Kill!", }, creature_killed_l3 = -- And level 4 too! { "That was fun.", "Thanks for the meat!", "Crunchy bones!", "Time to split!", "Shall we hunt bigger game?", "A tasty morsel.", "Shall we murder something of consequence now?", "Too easy.", "Nothing sweeter than death delivered by your hand and my face.", "Good times. Good times had by all.", "What a HACK job.", "It will do for now.", "You're a HACK!", "Satisfactory.", "Here's your final SEVERANCE.", "'Twas but a snack.", }, creature_killed_l4 = { "I'm rather insulted.", "That's it?", "Playing it safe, wielder?", "Meager.", }, }

And that's everything (I HOPE) :3

[skayafair]

Not sure if there's already a "train" like this one but I liked a post with "who's your favorite podcast guy/gal", now tell me:

Who's your favorite podcast enby person?

[tuttle-did-it]

I think it's kind of fabulous that the only person who gets their own tent besides the CO of the camp is Margaret. The only time she has to share is when one of her lovers (Helen or any one of dozens of different generals) comes into town or she's not fighting with Frank.

Like fuck those doctors, they're just sleeping together anyway. The Head Nurse, tho, she needs Space.

[wetbloodworm]

noticing a pattern in my writing/OCs of 'monster that preys on people pretending to be human/human-adjacent'. i mean it's not the first time i've noticed but i've been thinking about three of them recently so like. a pattern.

[randomnameless]

"[...] Edelgard is dead and that she will never get an education, rise above the station of her birth, or become more than a poor laborer getting taxed into oblivion by corrupt nobles [...]" aren't these issues mainly highlighted in Adrestia? With taxes being mentioned in the Hyrm paralogue (unless there are other mentions). And I know Dimitri's supports in Nopes touches on the other topics (with education being stopped by a food problem). So it's not like commoners are screwed if she dies.

TBH, being "taxed to oblivion" isn't seen in the game(s) proper save for Hrym but that's not a good look for Supreme Leader, so let's ignore that. I mean, she is running the country, and apparently doesn't bother telling Uncle to stop taxing to death the people of Hrym in the name of a guy she had in her basement for at least 5 years?

Instead... Leonie iirc complains about taxes, but when Lorenz tells her they were used to pay for Jeralt's services (and they the guy dumped everything in the nearest bottle) she doesn't push the "too much taxes!" angle anymore.

I suppose Supreme Leader's education system would work based on fruits and fresh water, so it wouldn't need money - that comes in the form of tax - to work? Unless we're supposed to understand Supreme Leader's new teachers will work for free because Hubert will kindly ask them to do so, and Doro will print books herself while Caspar will, on his own, build all the furnitures needed to get a school running.

Of course, they will do so freely, because Fodlan Adrestia became an utopia without the evil lizard lady's influence.

As for education in general, IRL (save for several states lol) people are willing to afford time and ressources to go to school or to let their children go to school if they don't have anythign "better" to do, like, idk, working to get enough money to feed said children.

or maybe Supreme Leader's Adrestia will have some sort of social minimal aid system - that isn't funded through taxes because taxes BaD - so Adrestians can send their children to school without being afraid of not being able to eat next morning thanks to that financial support?

But let's not talk too much about "semantics" and the intricacies of this totally canon version of what is going to happen after Tru Piss/when Supreme Leader kicks the bucket in non Tru Piss routes -

Anon, did you know feudalism BaD?

[louisdotmp3]

btw when u talk about the icc and israel u should know that they were one of the 7 countries that voted against the rome statute specifically because, "the action of transferring population into occupied territory" was included in the list of war crimes

[cluescorner]

We need to bring back Gun Batman immediately where the FUCK is he

titans of tomorrow

aftermath: