#but i don't know if i'm overreacting because the Actual Adults work full time and i'm just in school taking 2 courses

[autumnoakes]

(id: the results of a mental health questionnaire on an iphone. the results show that the person who took the questionnaire is probably experiencing severe anxiety and depression)

thanks apple health. i'm aware.

[nocherryblood]

May I add: living with chronic anything.

Sometimes people with chronic conditions do everything they can to avoid making symptoms worse, or to manage their existing pain. Creams, meds, long medical treatments, etc. Sometimes it's long and monotonous, and people are still in pain afterwards. Sometimes it's more manageable.

Sometimes, people with chronic conditions might not want to do that. Sometimes they just want to carry on as they are. Maybe it's health risks, or monetary reasons, or it's just not worth it. Sometimes people just don't want to do it, full stop.

Chronic conditions are chronic for one reason: even if they come and go in bouts, even if they're "not that bad"... they don't go away. Sometimes they remain forever, sometimes they may go away. But either way, you will have them for a significant portion of time.

Some people have cures and medicine that helps them to live as uninterrupted as possible, some don't- whether it's access to funds to get it, or because there literally just isn't something like that out there in the world, or maybe it's too risky. Sometimes you can be cured of one thing and it causes another, or it can come back, or, even if your main symptoms are gone, you may be left permanently affected by what the condition did to your body.

Some people have low pain or needs- this doesn't mean they're "overreacting" or "being too dramatic". Pain, even on a low scale, can be absolutely debilitating over a prolonged period of time. Sometimes, medical specialists can get very temperamental over this- personally, my conditions always get missed on 95% tests even if the markers to indicate I have them are there, so the specialists are very reluctant to give me help at first because they don't understand how much my pain affects my life until I prove to them that that help supports me to try to carry on as best as possible. This meme pretty much sums it up (for those who are confused, π, or, pi, is a number that never ends- the calculation for it has been going on for hundreds upon hundreds of years and we're still nowhere near the end seemingly):

On the other hand, some people experience extremely high pain levels and/or are severely affected by their chronic conditions, so much so that it limits them from doing a majority, if not all, of their daily life activities. Some can manage with a carer or assistant, some cannot. That doesn't make them "useless" or "unworthy" or "lazy". They are valuable as all humans are to each other, no matter whether or not they can work "like everyone else" to fulfill that cruel, uncaring, devaluing shitshow of modern expectations of an adult or not. Human decency and care for each other shouldn't ever be associated in the slightest with output or ability.

Sometimes, people's conditions are "intrusive" and/or affect other people's lives (e.g. family becoming carers or assistants, needing more support, being unable to control impulses or body functions) and whilst, yes, sometimes they can take effort to deal with by people on the outside, the person themselves is not incontrol of their condition and complaining 24/7 about it to them will just make them feel like crap. Contrary to popular belief, many people with chronic conditions are actually extremely aware of the effect of their condition on themselves and especially others, and are constantly overcompensating for it and putting so much effort into dampening it down just to make it more "palatable" for others. You don't need to tell them what they already know- if something's really affecting you, maybe come up with a realistic way to help before you ream off about how much something they're having to deal with is annoying you.

Please, don't expect someone to move mountains if you're not going to give them the rope.

And the final point I'm going to make is... please, for the love of your own compassion, sometimes there are people who are tired of having to constantly have to avoid triggers or irritants (e.g. with skin conditions), and want to allow themselves some semblance of being able to live like fully non-chronically affected (i.e. not living with a chronic condition) people for a while.

Concern is a lovely thing to have, but sometimes, people just want to have a bit of a break, y'know? I understand if there's concern about someone continually, severely harming themselves with their actions (i.e. eating an allergen they're highly allergic to, or something that could seriously harm them long-term)- of course, speak to them or try to empathise with them and then bring up your concerns, or come up with something alternative for them.

But if it's a short-term thing? Just let me have this one thing, please- my mental health needs it too. Don't judge me for wanting to have one long night out even if I'm chronically exhausted or easily get overwhelmed. Don't judge me if I have chronic skin conditions but want to have one nice perfume or pretty bath even though I'll be barely able to tolerate clothes in the morning. Don't tell someone they're dumb because they want to take a walk even if they may not be able to keep moving for long. I, and they, can regulate ourselves- we know the risk vs. the reward and sometimes you just want to do "normal" things for once.

Just... please. We're not defined by our conditions, but it doesn't mean we're not constantly affected by them too. They're a part of us, they're not always a welcome part of us, but they're there and we have to deal with them. Just please don't forget: just because we seem happy or fine, doesn't mean we can't be in pain.

when u go to write a mentally ill person in ur story you are presented two options. the first option is to write your mental illness realistically as you actually experience it with all the ups and downs and people who are like you will resonate with it and feel seen. except every person who reads instagram infographics on mental health that uses the phrase narcicisst for anyone who does anything that crosses them and unironically call themself a dark empath will call you scary and tell you that youre demonizing mentally ill people

the second option is to lie and write inspiration porn for those people to get hard to

[proship-angel]

idk only making this post here bc i don't want it on my main blog out of kind of fear? that people might get angry at me for it

but the body positivity tag on tumblr always makes me feel so sick towards myself because of how often i see them push away positivity for any body type outside of fat/plus-sized people

warning for body image issues, eating disorder talk, and body shaming ig? i think those would be the warnings and i'll tag them too

the constant statement of thin privilege in the body positivity tag makes me feel like my experience isn't real and leads to me spiraling on

'am i fully misremembering the only clear years of my life?' or 'have i been taking this wrong?' which i literally should not be questioning some of the clearest memories that spurred on my disordered eating and severe body image issues.

i am tiny in so many ways; height, weight, everything. i am a small person and i've always been self conscious about that because it makes people think i'm a teenager when i'm an adult. i work a job. i can legally drink. i have to start doing taxes. hell i went to college for a year. yet people see me as a sixteen year old based on my appearance and behaviors (i'm audhd so that adds on a whole nother layer)

but despite that self-conscious nature, i get told by my mother constantly that i am going to get fat like it's a purely negative thing. that i am going to become overweight. she constantly comments on my eating habits and it is never that i seem like i'm eating well. it is either "oh you've been eating so little, are you okay?" so i start to eat more in hopes she'll stop. but than she'll go "if you keep eating so much, you'll get fat".

for more clarification on the eating thing. i have a really high metabolism, i always have. i've always had to eat a lot to actually feel satisfied or to keep myself functioning. as i currently have to eat a certain amount within certain time frames or i full on faint from a lack of food. way easier than most people based on what i've heard. so i have to eat a lot yet i'm shamed for it.

the biggest thing was, when i was in middle school (specifically thirteen to fourteen years old) my mother used to have to check me for things. not going into that but i think it's easy to tell what it was. and she saw my stretch marks on my inner thighs near my crotch. my mother has stretch marks herself, she knows what they look like. yet upon seeing my stretch marks she accused me of self-harm and basically implied that i had no reason to have stretch marks. i physically get sick seeing them because i still feel like they are my fault.

i just wonder, am i overreacting? or do i have a genuine right to feel upset that i can't find body positivity to help myself? is there a different tag for what i'm experiencing? (i refuse to touch any eating disorder tags simply because of bad experiences with them)

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

(pt 1) i really enjoy all your atla analyses & you've done a great job breaking down the usual arguments re how eip shows that kataang shouldn't have happened. i'm curious about your take on one specific argument that i just saw today, in an analysis of the show by a zker that was otherwise quite good and respectful (i know you've already talked about eip a lot, so no problem if you don't feel like rehashing). the premise: aang didn't just pressure katara in eip, he threatened her.

(pt 2) they point to when katara joins aang & asks if he’s alright: “aang: no, i’m not! i hate this play! katara: i know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting. aang: overreacting? if i hadn’t blocked my chakra, i’d probably be in the avatar state right now!” the suggestion is he’s threatening her when he says ‘i’d probably be in the avatar state right now’ to describe his anger. i think this take exaggerates and oversimplifies it, but interested in your thoughts on it.

Hello my friend!! It is true I am Old inside and don’t like rehashing dhdlksjslks BUT your comments on my posts are always incredibly kind and insightful so I am more than willing to do a bit of rehashing for you 🥰 Besides! I’ve seen this general take before a few times and it’s always irked me for the exact reason you point out - it simultaneously exaggerates and oversimplifies the situation (and honestly that’s an impressive duality since it’s seemingly contradictory, so hats off to them lmaooo) - and now is as good a time as any to address it. So, for starters, let’s go ahead and get the excerpt they love to focus on so much:

Cut to Aang standing alone on a balcony. Katara enters and walks up to him.

Katara: Are you all right?

Aang: [Angered.] No, I’m not! I hate this play! [Yanks his hat off and throws it on the ground.]

Katara: I know it’s upsetting, but it sounds like you’re overreacting.

Aang: Overreacting? If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!

Here’s the thing about so-called analyses of this excerpt: in a manner extremely convenient to the poster, they never seek to contextualize this moment. (I mean, to do so would deplatform their entire “argument” - perhaps that’s why they avoid performing a full analysis?) So let’s avoid that pitfall from the start.

Firstly, below are some links to related posts; I’m going to do my best to summarize the most relevant parts, but for anyone who desires greater detail, I gotchu 😤

This post explains why EIP (the play, lol) is imperialist propaganda and is intended to belittle the entire Gaang.

This post explains how Aang never acted “entitled” to Katara’s affections, particularly in regard to EIP.

This post breaks down the infamous EIP kiss like Snopes Fact Checker, covering common misconceptions, important perspectives to consider, etc.

Alright. With that out the way, it’s time for some context.

Aang and Katara have this conversation on the balcony after watching 95% of “The Boy in the Iceberg,” a play chock-full of Fire Nation propaganda that demeans the entire Gaang in order to prop up the Fire Nation as superior (hence why the play ends with Ozai’s victory). Here is my general breakdown of Aang and Katara’s treatment in particular from a previous post:

- katara, an indigenous woman, is highly sexualized and portrayed as overly dramatic and tearful, because the fire nation objectifies women not of their own people and views them as less intelligent and less emotionally stable

- aang, the avatar, the sole survivor of the fire nation’s genocide of the air nomads who is incredibly in-touch with his spirituality and femininity, is portrayed as an overly-airy and immature woman. the fire nation portrays him with a female actor to demean him (like, that’s classic imperialistic propagandist tactics) and furthermore writing his character as a childish airhead reinforces the fire nation sentiment that the air nomads were weak, foolish people who did not deserve to exist in their world

In other words, these kids have just watched almost an entire play that preys upon their insecurities and depicts them using racist and sexist stereotypes about their respective nations. It is completely understandable that tensions might run a little high and that their interactions would not be as balanced as usual (Katara and Aang have a great track record of communicating well with each other, as it happens!).

So we have to keep that in mind when examining the aforementioned excerpt. But there are other factors to consider, too! Namely: they are kids. Children. Teens. Aang is 12, Katara is 14.

If we want to be scientific, a person’s brain doesn’t finish developing until they are 25, lmao, and the preteen/teen years are when the prefrontal cortex that controls “rationality,” “judgement,” “forethought,” etc. is still developing. This doesn’t mean Aang and Katara are irrational and make poor decisions 24/7 (obviously not), but it does mean that in an intense, highly emotional situation, like after watching a play that intentionally demeans them and depicts them as inferior, they are more likely to overreact, more likely to be emotional, and more likely to make mistakes. Like, I’m serious, lol. “Teens process information with the amygdala.” That’s part of the brain that helps control emotions! It’s why teens sometimes struggle to articulate what we’re thinking, especially in situations that require instinct/impulse and quick decisions, because we’re really feeling whenever we make those choices. Acting more on emotion. Our brains simply haven’t finished developing the decision-making parts, lmao.

In sum: Aang and Katara are both kids, not adults, and should be interpreted as such. This doesn’t negate their intelligence, because they are both incredibly smart and Aang is arguably the wisest of the Gaang, but they are human. Young humans. They have emotions, and we should not be so cruel as to assume they’d never act on them.

So taking that all together, we can now acknowledge the high stress Aang and Katara are under, understand why they might be upset (*cough* imperialist propaganda is hurtful *cough*), and examine how their youth might play into their emotional reactions. And funny thing - all analyses that come to the conclusion of Aang “threatening” Katara here do not usually bother with this context. I can’t imagine why!

And you know what, let’s add one more piece of context: Sokka states that Aang left the theater “like, ten minutes ago,” which is what cues Katara to go look for him on the balcony. The reason I mention this line is because to me, it suggests Aang knew he was more worked up than usual! He chose to separate himself from his friends so he could process his frustration! He did not take his anger at the play out on them; instead, he purposefully took time and space to be alone.

With that in mind, I don’t understand at all how Aang’s Avatar state quote could be interpreted as a threat? Canonly, Aang is someone who was aware enough of his frustration to separate himself from the others - yet the logical next step is him threatening Katara as a result? He knew his intense emotions were because of the play (which he says himself), so the logical conclusion is that he then pinned the fault on Katara? What?? Sorry, that interpretation has no textual basis, lmao. But I digress!

Aang tells Katara, “If I hadn’t blocked my chakra, I’d probably be in the Avatar State right now!” As you said, this is the line people point to in an attempt to justify their (baseless) conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. So let’s bring in the two key pieces of context: imperialist propaganda and age. Given that Aang is 12, and given that Aang has just watched almost a full play that demeans him and everything his people stood for (and let’s not forget it also mocks his and Katara’s love for each other)…

His reaction is understandable. An exaggeration and needlessly dramatic, but understandable. He feels vulnerable and insecure and Aang is human. He is human and flawed and he overreacts here and I love that A:TLA shows how even our heroes, even people who are truly good at heart and in soul, can get overly upset (especially given the aforementioned circumstances!). Would Aang actually be in the Avatar state at that moment, had it been possible? Of course not! He’s young and he’s hurt and as such he says something dramatic to convey his anxieties and frustrations. The line is not meant to be taken literally, and seeing people do so despite all the factors that should be taken into consideration when analyzing it… Cue a long, tired sigh from me and so many other A:TLA fans.

And to be honest? I cannot fathom how people watch this episode and come to the conclusion that Aang is “threatening” Katara. To me, this episode - besides being a recap episode - is one that humanizes our cast even further. Aang snaps at Katara, kisses her when he shouldn’t (which the story appropriately treats as wrong). Katara pushes down her true feelings and retreats into herself, afraid to start a relationship with the boy she loves because she’s already lost him once before and can’t bear to do so again. Zuko further confronts the hurt he’s enacted upon others, especially upon Iroh. Toph practices being vulnerable and accepting vulnerability from others by conversing with Zuko. Sokka witnesses how others have erased his contributions and labelled him as nothing more than the token nonbender in the group. Even Suki learns that she is not the only person who holds a place in Sokka’s heart and that she can never replace what he has lost.

To watch this episode where our heroes must come to terms with how the Fire Nation deems them inherently inferior, with how they have more fights to overcome in the future with the Fire Nation than a single war, and to come to the conclusion that… that what, Aang is abusive? A monster? Irredeemable? That he would threaten his best friend, someone he loves in every way?

Wow. That says more than enough about the viewer, doesn’t it?

[tysukis]

Hi, first(?) AU anon here. I will absolutely dive down this rabbit hole with you. I went a little overboard (sorry?). I absolutely agree with you on your Zuko take. I think we all kind of land there naturally. But I also think that Zuko would latch onto stability the moment he realized he had it. So this is kind of how I see it going down:

I think the band Sokka is part of would be solid. Just a local hit, right? But Sokka is the plans guy, and the aspirations guy, and they can do *so much better*. I 100% do not know how real life musicians work so add a pinch of salt here, but he would absolutely land them a gig as openers to a mediocre niche headliner just by sheer power of phone calls and charm. (He scripted it as much as possible, we all remember how that canon speech went when he winged it, but he knows how to put words together when he has time).

And yeah I love the idea of Zuko being an academic. I'm assuming Ozai is out of the picture for this, and the boy gets to pursue his passions instead of an expectation. Unfortunately, you mix in passion and the general anxiety of a kid who lived under intense scrutiny and you get an adult who gets tunnel vision during spring finals/prep for a conference/etc. So he doesn't quite rise to the occasion when his boyfriend drops this life changing news, he's proud but distracted, and he's already so bad at words in comparison to Sokka that it's just. Lackluster. And he probably meant to meet them at the bar/house party to celebrate after he got home but he's sleep deprived and his phone is dead because he's a disaster sometimes.

So now you've got Sokka stewing on immediate events, and being a little heartbroken because he went all out every time Zuko accomplished *anything*, even if it wasn't super impressive to Zuko himself. And maybe there's a bit of Zuko assuming Sokka doesn't need that reciprocated. He just doesn't vocalize his important needs, so Zuko assumes they're being met, you know? I like the drama of a blown up confrontation but also the idea that Sokka just confronts him sounding hurt and so damn tired of being the emotional one for that long.

But on the other side you have Zuko with his internalized plan that this is his forever person, and he does go to almost every performance even if they don't play his preferred music. And he assumes Sokka is satisfied with this. Maybe because Zuko can't imagine being happier than near his family - the good ones anyway - or because he genuinely thinks Sokka and the band are happy with being local celebrities and leaving it at that. So he plans for permanence. Because he is still a disaster, Zuko probably never vocalized this beyond doing window shopping for apartments or something. Vague jokes about a wedding that Sokka laughs at/agrees with and Zuko interprets as, "Yes I am also thinking about being here with you forever." He's not the wordsmith, he's the pragmatist and love means house shopping and snuggling over takeout and planning trips to visit their distant family together, right? Sokka's confrontation blindsided him, because he thought they were on the same page, and Sokka didn't have to leave to keep playing music, why is that even a thing??

They're both justified in being jaded because they're dumb as hell (affectionate). This isn't an AU for two grown ass men who have put in therapy time, they're both young and full of their own understanding with poor communication skills.

musician au anon!!! hello welcome back thank you so much for this incredible ask, let’s GO

(I’m gonna pop this one under a read more because otherwise this post will be eight miles long lmao)

Honestly I’m wracking my brain with what I can possibly add to this because you’ve got like. A fully fledged outline here my dude and it’s a good one. Do you write? Because you should, if you don’t. I still love the alternative take of Sokka being the one to leave and honestly this pretty much cements how much potential it has. I absolutely adore how you’ve thought about just how the communication would break down between them - and you’re completely bang on the money with it as well. Zuko is fully a hot disaster and would completely just assume Sokka’s needs are being met if he isn’t vocalising them, and we know Sokka, he’s a complainer but when it really comes down to those he loves - he’s known for being pretty selfless and for putting up brave faces. I can totally see Sokka perhaps almost feeling a bit self conscious about how hurt he is by Zuko’s lack of enthusiasm. Because Zuko loves him, right? And it’s just one show, right? So maybe he’s just overreacting, right? Or maybe he’s actually not even that good. Oh no, maybe Zuko hates his music and is just waiting for the right time to break it to him gently. Oh no, oh no, oh no. I think I might have already said it at some point tonight but Sokka would absolutely spiral until he convinces himself that him leaving would be nothing more than simply just leaving before he gets left. And like you said: Zuko  is out here planning a whole future assuming that they’re on the same page, meanwhile he has no idea.

I totally buy Sokka winging his way into a supporting act spot using his charm and charisma, and yeah his speech in canon didn’t go too well but this could likely be over the phone to only one person which would probably make it easier. I was thinking about how Sokka performing would work in conjuncture with his canon almost stage fright/fear of public speaking - and I’m leaning towards the hc that he embodies a sort of persona in front of large crowds and he’s able to let that take over and act casually and confidently no matter the audience.  (source: I am someone who studied acting and excelled in public speaking most of her life despite having a chronic anxiety disorder - playing parts and speaking on stage didn’t feel like ‘me’ because I was always channeling a character either fictional or an alternative version of myself. It works, folks.)

Are we thinking he broke away from the band and went on to succeed in a solo career? As in, he felt being local heroes was a limited pathway? Or did they all go together? Who else would be in it I wonder.

I LOVE your interpretation of Zuko and how the factors under which he was raised would shape him, especially in a modern setting. He would absolutely go into tunnel vision and that perfectionist mindset he was essentially forced into as a kid would probably be alive and well into adulthood. (And yeah, these aren’t men who have been to therapy - yet! - so we’re probably gonna assume that Zuko views this as a Perfectly Normal And Healthy Way To Live And Not At All A Trauma/Survival Response.)

I’m assuming this confrontation is what leads to their break up and then Sokka going off to pursue music further? I wonder, even all their other issues aside, what Zuko thinks about him travelling so far? As you said, we’re operating under the assumption that he doesn’t understand why Sokka couldn’t continue music and stay local. Even if things were perfect between the two, I imagine they still might not see eye to eye on that, which of course would just be another breaking point for them to tack onto the list.

As for their eventual reconciliation, Kaleigh @zukkau with her gigantic brain, said earlier that Sokka being the one to leave could also tie into a whole ‘I couldn’t ask you to uproot your whole life for me’ anxiety (especially if we’re painting zuko as a bit of a homebody here; hates change, likes routine) and that sets up perfectly for a “I would go anywhere for/with you” moment. All this to say that I think that would slot into this (^) narrative nicely.

If you have (or anyone has) anything more to add or touch on I would absolutely love to hear it, I am now fully in love with this AU and all messages and mentions of it are permanently welcome in my inbox and DMs <3 

[punkscowardschampions]

Savannah & Jac

Savannah: what's going on? Jac: Big drama Jac: huge Jac: where are you??? Savannah: I needed privacy so this conversation wasn't a big drama for Ty Savannah: but now all his friends are here, like, freaking out Jac: Yeah, they're gonna be Jac: is Carter in there or? Savannah: No Savannah: why are they saying the party's over? Jac: It's for the best he's done a runner Jac: God knows what her mother will do, wouldn't be surprised if she calls the police Savannah: Oh my god, Ty's parents will lose it with him if that happens Jac: Is has lost it, big time Savannah: how drunk is she? Jac: She just came into the main room crying hysterically Jac: saying Carter forced himself onto her Savannah: what are we going to do? Jac: We need to sort this Jac: she called her mum, I couldn't stop her Savannah: she'll tell all our parents & like you said it's likely to go much further Savannah: this is my party, MY idea Jac: It's not as if we knew Jac: who even is he Savannah: I'm still going to become the girl who threw a party where her friend got assaulted Jac: No, we're not going to let that happen Jac: we just have to work out the best angle for us Jac: we either support her fully, but then Ty will have to go, and the rest of them Jac: or maybe we can convince her it wasn't as bad as she thinks Jac: if she's drunk, maybe she could've misread it? Savannah: do you know how much she's had to drink? Savannah: OH MY GOD, I can't believe I'm asking that Savannah: of course we have to support her, she didn't consent Jac: You know Is, she always has too much Savannah: & I know she loves drama but she wouldn't go that far Savannah: would she? Jac: I don't even know Jac: I know nothing about this Carter boy Jac: he was obviously saying the opposite before he left but Jac: this is so not how this night was supposed to go Savannah: I was literally mid-breakup Savannah: I can't handle this Jac: We need to go Jac: I'm not sober enough to fully think out our plan right now Savannah: Me either Savannah: what about Is, will she leave? Jac: I think her mum is coming, like now Jac: but I think, we get her to mine Jac: calm her down so her mum doesn't like Jac: do something major Savannah: Are your mum & dad there though? Savannah: maybe we should take her to my house instead, my mum is fully medicated by now Jac: Good idea Jac: I'm just saying, get her away from here with a hot drink and a shower, she might feel different Savannah: & if that doesn't work, she could take a pill, I do sometimes Savannah: they do help Jac: We could talk to her mum for her Jac: say we're looking after her Savannah: which we are Jac: Exactly Jac: she just needs to calm down, I'm sure Savannah: okay, let's go Jac: [The next day] Jac: is your mum losing it? Savannah: She called my dad Savannah: but my auntie is the one who's FULLY losing it Jac: Jesus Jac: I'm so mad Jac: this is ridiculous Savannah: what happened with your parents? Jac: they won't stop going on about it Jac: asking stupid questions Jac: acting like I should be going down the station myself Jac: literally how would I know what happened??? Jac: none of us were in the room with them Jac: if Is' mum has decided she wants to do that then that's her business Savannah: have you heard from Isabelle? Savannah: Ty won't speak to me, I don't know if his mum took his phone or he just hates me now Jac: No Jac: and I've sent her like hundreds of messages Jac: all I've got is people who weren't there asking if it's true or sounding off at me for what Is has said Savannah: ^^ I was sending her messages all night Savannah: you're the only person replying to me Jac: I feel like a complete pariah Jac: I didn't sign up for this Savannah: This is all my fault Savannah: I never should have put Carter forward as a someone suitable for Is Jac: No, you didn't know Jac: you'd never do that if you did Jac: he seemed like a fun guy, someone she'd like Savannah: I can't stay in this house with everyone shouting at me Jac: Don't Jac: let's go somewhere Savannah: I'm essentially on surveillance like a criminal, there's no way Jac: Well, don't you REALLY need that research book from the library to finish your psych essay Jac: surely they won't stop you studying? Savannah: You're incredible Savannah: I swear my brain is barely functioning Savannah: except all these intrusive sad thoughts, they are of course in full flow Jac: This is some bullshit Jac: but I'm gonna protect you Jac: this is so not our fight Jac: the adults in our life just need time to calm down Savannah: It's really not Savannah: obviously I feel bad for Is but there's nothing I can do other than feel that right now because the lines of communication are closed Jac: ^^ Jac: Precisely, we can only be there for her as much as she wants us to Jac: and like, how rude if we tried to make this about us by getting overly involved Jac: it didn't happen to us, I'm not going to go into hiding or whatever my parents want me to do like something bad happened to me Savannah: Exactly, I'm heartbroken that I wasn't there because of what was happening between me & Ty, but I know that doesn't compare to what she's going through Savannah: she doesn't need my guilt being thrown at her Jac: I don't think anyone appreciates that we feel guilty enough without them implying we could've done more Jac: is this the time to be playing the blame game at all, people?! Savannah: ^^ my auntie thinks I should've been there holding her hand all night or something Jac: everyone is suddenly friend of the year Jac: like, well, we're actually her only real friends Jac: where were you all then? Jac: just happy to judge us now, it's so unfair Savannah: I saw how quick Amelia popped up, excuse you girl, where have you been? Jac: that's her ALL over Jac: doesn't put any work in, swoops in to play hero when it suits her Jac: between her and Is' mum, god knows what they're saying about us Jac: the woman does not like me Jac: 'cos I try to help lift that stifling codependency she's got her daughter under Savannah: & she's just so INTENSE, it's no surprise Is' mum is team Amelia Savannah: I'm not apologising for us having a life that Isabelle isn't utterly in the centre of at all times Jac: SERIOUSLY Jac: it was so awkward when it was just the three of us Jac: Amelia so wanted Is to herself Jac: maybe I should have left them to it Jac: sorry I didn't want to be alone, guys, thanks Savannah: I hate hearing that Jac: Well, it might be just us now Jac: if they turn everyone against us Jac: I don't even care Jac: I can't wait to leave this town and never look back Savannah: If I've got you, who else would I ever need? Savannah: becoming friends with you was the most life-affirming and empowering thing that's happened to me Savannah: I'm not going to lose sight or let go off everything I want & have worked hard for because last night went wrong Jac: And why should we? Jac: Is shouldn't let it define her life and who she is Jac: we certainly shouldn't, it's like, in the nicest possible way, nothing to do with us Jac: We know what we need to do, where we're going Jac: nothing has changed Jac: people can say whatever they will Savannah: If my family wants me to trust in what they're saying instead of everything you are, they need to have enough faith in me & my choices to let me leave the house Savannah: & they aren't Jac: Like, I'm never trying to put a wedge between anyone and their family Jac: but mine are being exactly the same so I can say Jac: they're coming from a total place of fear, they're overreacting like WHAT IF the bad thing happened to us Jac: but it didn't, and they can't protect us from the world by trying to tell us what to do Jac: Is' mum is always like that...look what happened there Savannah: SO true Savannah: I won't even mention how they're overlooking the fact that I'd never let anything like that happen to you & you would never let it happen to me because that's the kind of friendship we have Savannah: isolating me from you, isn't protecting me, it's very harmful actually Jac: We need each other Jac: you're my safety and I'm yours Jac: as much as I don't care what people think, what they say Jac: that'll be different if I don't have you Savannah: You'll always have me Jac: Swear on my ❤? Savannah: Of course Jac: Then we've got this Jac: whatever anyone is going to try to throw at us Savannah: We've got each other Savannah: There's not a single thing anyone can do to make me stop loving you or needing you in my life Jac: I love you Jac: and I know your ❤ and your intentions and I see nothing but pure goodness Jac: I'm not going to let anyone say anything less Savannah: you're 👼🏻 & if people can't recognise that, they're the ones who need to check in with themselves and their world view Savannah: they certainly don't know enough about you to speak out if they're TOTALLY unaware of what a ray of light you are Jac: You're going to make me cry Jac: You're the sweetest kindest soul and you deserve none of this bullshit backlash Savannah: we're leaving it behind us Savannah: you're right, the library isn't off limits Jac: I'll meet you there then Jac: where we go after is our business Savannah: 🙌 Jac: We'll be back before anyone notices Jac: do you think we should try to call Is, or see her or Jac: do we leave it up to her Jac: might be the kindest, you know her mum has taken over everything else right now, with Amelia now, like 🙄 Savannah: If her mum has her phone, she could call ours Savannah: I'd actually be under house arrest then Savannah: she's unlikely to be up to seeing anyone anyway, I barely slept myself, Is won't have Jac: Yeah, true Jac: I feel like I'm in enough shit considering I've not done anything Jac: have you heard where Carter is, what he's doing about this whole situation Savannah: I keep hoping Ty will reply & tell me anything that's going on, but he hasn't Jac: How did you end things with him Jac: like, did you or? Savannah: I was trying to do it gently, you know? Savannah: so of course I didn't get to say everything that I wanted to before we were interrupted Savannah: but he can read me well enough that he obviously knew where the conversation was supposed to be going Jac: He's probably in a state of shock Jac: given that and then what happened immediately after Jac: I'm sure he'll come 'round soon, give you the closure you need Savannah: I can't cope with not being able to speak to him when he's bound to have these unanswered questions Savannah: all the pain he's going to be in when he finally feels it Jac: It's unavoidable Jac: part of being human, growing Savannah: I think I'm in shock too Jac: You are Jac: we all are Savannah: I didn't even take any of my mum's meds but it feels like I have Jac: everything is cloudy Jac: we only have like a tenth of the story and none of it makes sense or feels real Jac: like a joke or nightmare Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: You're real, I'll feel better when I see you Jac: that's why we should be together right now Jac: our family weren't there, they have even less of a clue Jac: together we can actually make sense of this and Jac: get back to some semblance of normality Savannah: how can we stay together? Savannah: I've only just walked out of my house & I already don't want to go back Savannah: that's without even considering how stressful school will be Jac: how can we go back? Jac: Is won't be able to Jac: everyone is talking, whether they're on her side or not Jac: we need to go somewhere Jac: have a break from all of this before we have to face it Savannah: but where? Savannah: & how when our parents are insisting on this degree of control? Jac: if they're not willing to be reasonable and cooperate with us Jac: don't see why we should have to Jac: we know this is what we need, what's right for us, right? Savannah: Yes Savannah: & we've earned our own money, I haven't touched any of it since we started Jac: Exactly, we've got enough to get far away enough and live comfortably for long enough to process this Jac: we just need to get as much out here before we leave Jac: first thing they'd do would be to check where our card was last used, need to stop the papertrail Jac: then we have to leave our phones here Jac: we'll write down our important numbers and get a burner, we're not stupid Savannah: You're the only person I want to talk to right now and I'll have you with me Jac: ❤❤❤ Jac: and like you said, we protect each other, nothing bad is going to happen Jac: so, you want to? Savannah: we aren't going to let anything happen that isn't what we need Savannah: I want to be with you, I feel like whatever my family is scared of would be much more likely to happen if I'm not Savannah: there's way more danger to my mental health if I stay here Jac: Then we're going Jac: luckily a rucksack won't look out of place for all the books we're meant to be carrying Savannah: Should I act like I've forgotten something & go back? Jac: I can pack spare clothes for you too if you like Jac: but your own might make you feel more you, more normal Savannah: that's such a good point Savannah: we've lost enough normality Jac: everything feels so different now Savannah: it does Savannah: but how important you are to me hasn't changed Jac: I know when I see you, everything will feel better Jac: and we'll know exactly what to do Jac: it's how it's been since I met you Savannah: all we have to do is keep trusting the universe & each other Jac: I trust you both entirely Savannah: I know I let you down but I promise that won't ever happen again Jac: you could never Savannah: I did! The party was an awful idea but I selfishly demanded it & if that wasn't bad enough I left you alone after insisting I needed you there Savannah: we could've been together, nothing would've gone so wrong Jac: but I let Is go off alone with him Jac: I should've spotted there was something off about him Jac: THAT off Jac: it was both our idea Jac: but that wasn't Savannah: Baby, you can't think like that, you didn't even know his name, how could you EVER realise he was that kind of person Savannah: Ty didn't & they were on the team together Jac: Yeah, Ty isn't like the other lads Jac: because some of them definitely knew Jac: but Ty wouldn't put up with that, would he? Savannah: he would've told me if he knew Savannah: all he said was that he thought Is would be better off going with someone from our year Jac: Yeah Jac: he was kind of insistent on that, we thought at the time Jac: but that's probably down to how innocent Is is in lots of ways, like we thought then too Jac: or was Jac: Poor Is Savannah: I feel sick Jac: I know Jac: me too Jac: I'm on my way Savannah: He was always so gentle, I had to make the first move, like literally every move Savannah: he can't have known Jac: No, no way Jac: he's not that kind of boy Jac: I'm just at that place where I don't know who I can trust BUT you Jac: everyone seems like a suspect Savannah: If he'd just talk to me Savannah: everything's SO messed up Jac: do you want to see him, before we go? Savannah: I can't, for the same reason we can't see Is Savannah: his mum would call my auntie as soon as she saw me & he's not going to agree to meet me anywhere else Jac: In a few days, you can call him Jac: we'll go to a payphone Savannah: okay Jac: It will be Jac: I promise Jac: you'll see Savannah: I don't have to see it to believe in you Savannah: you've never let me down

[sol1056]

Can you explain why LGBT representation is so important and why Voltron's negative portrayal of LGBT characters/rep should be scorned as harshly as it has been? I'm trying to prove a point to a friend and they don't get why representation has to be as important as we're making it.

Oh, this is a huge topic, and one I’m not sure I could do justice to, all by myself. Given that, this time I’ll let people speak for themselves. Anyone else reading (and I know a whole lot of you are out there) who’ve valued representation – regardless as to whether you relate to the character as a lived experience – feel free to add your thoughts, or links to any other articles, podcasts, or videos you’re recommend.

Fabricio Leal Cogo, Why Queer Representation Matters

I remember growing up here in Brazil and not seeing anyone like me portrayed on TV—or at least, not anyone with a similarly complex inner life. The few times I saw gays on TV, they were always a punchline in a comedy—a source of laughter. Many people, I’m sure, are probably thinking: It’s just a joke, right?

But representation matters.

It’s impossible to overstate the power of being able to identify with a public figure, particularly when that figure is actually seen in the fullest sense. As Michael Morgan, a former professor emeritus at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst and a researcher on media effects, told the Huffington Post earlier this year, “When you don’t see people like yourself, the message is: You’re invisible. The message is: You don’t count. And the message is: ‘There’s something wrong with me.’” He continued: “Over and over and over, week after week, month after month, year after year, it sends a very clear message, not only to members of those groups, but to members of other groups, as well.”

Uma Dodd, Queerbaiting And The Issue Of LGBT Representation In The Media:

Of the 125 movies released by major US studios in 2016, the media monitoring organisation GLAAD found that only 23 (18.4%) contained characters who identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer – an increase of less than 1% from the previous year. … It’s insulting, and often quite disheartening, to be told that you’re only worth the three lines of dialogue and five minutes of screen time that the one LGBT character in a film might have, just because of your sexuality or gender.

Queerbaiting relies solely on subtext and the subsequent interpretation of it by fans, and as a result, creates the perfect paradox: writers are able to attract an LGBT audience with vague promises of representation, implied by the text and often encouraged by the writer, but will then never actually confirm or explicitly show said representation, reducing the amount of effort that has to be put in on their part.

You may say that I’m blowing this issue out of proportion, but that too, is a part of the problem. Because queerbaiting is based on purely subtextual hints, any evidence of it, no matter how blatant it might seem to the viewer/reader, is often insubstantial and difficult to quantify. This allows writers and cast members to dismiss the anger of LGBT fans as simple overreaction and, as a result, makes any legitimate pleas for better representation easier to ignore.

Another by-product that has resulted out of increasing calls for better LGBT representation is implied representation. This is where writers will claim that a character is LGBT but never explicitly show this within the TV show, film, or novel.  This is a method which has been employed by many creators of famous franchises, and it allows them to insert that token bit of representation which makes them look good, without ever actually providing said representation explicitly … Not only does this result in LGBT characters, once again, being shoved into the background – and often killed off for shock value – it raises the question: is this kind of representation good enough?

…Whilst any representation of non-heteronormative characters is a good start, this way of representing us can’t be allowed to become the norm – we deserve to be explicitly shown in the media as much as anyone else does. We need better representation and we need to be shown that not all LGBT characters have to remain in the closet, because what kind of a message is that sending to those young people out there who are currently questioning their sexuality?

B. Whiteside, 6 Reasons It’s Important to Have LGBT Characters on Children’s TV Shows:

A recent study by the Williams Institute at UCLA revealed that nearly 6 million adults and children have an LGBT parent. There are more than 125,000 same-sex couple households with nearly 220,000 children under the age 18. These children go to school and are active members of their communities. Their identities and home life deserve to be portrayed and represented just as much as anyone else’s.

Being a child can be tough, especially when one can’t identify with anyone around them. There are children and young adults alike who identify as LGBT or have parents who do so. Having content that mirrors their lives can, in fact, save their own. It isn’t always easy for children to articulate what’s wrong or what they need. So it can be a tremendous help to see their favorite character in their same predicament live out their life and truth.

Aristeaus Sizer, We Need To Talk About LGBT Representation, Apparently:

…since Cinderella, there have been 11 Disney princesses. All of which have been heterosexual, and the majority of them married by the end of their film. There is no shortage of straight princesses in this world, so why would it be such a crime for one of them to be LGBTQ? If anyone is forcing any agenda down anybody’s throats, Mary, it is you and your heteronormative agenda.

As a heterosexual, and I don’t mean to patronise here it’s simply the truth, you cannot understand in full capacity how important representation is. Seeing yourself on screen in a genuine, non-caricature form is hugely validating. When I was a kid I thought being gay was like doing drugs, it was a fun choice you made when you wanted to spice things up, and that all came from the films I had seen and how sordid LGBTQ people were portrayed as being. Then, later on into my teenage years, I thought I’d never be able to show public displays of affection without violent repercussion. Again, this was because of the media I had consumed telling me this. Films and media may not dictate our personalities, but they tell us how much of it we should hide, and the implicit message when you have an entire franchise of heterosexuals is that anything other should be kept underground, out of sight.

…we’ve been everywhere for so long you’ve just never noticed. Primarily because every movie and every advert and every t.v show and every animated cartoon is packed to the brim with straight people. LGBTQ people deserve representation because there’s far more of us than you think. … To you, it’s just a gay Disney princess where there could have been another straight one, but to someone that princess is the validation they needed that they aren’t some abomination or sinful mistake. They’re valid, they’re wonderful, and they have every right to love and be loved.

Danielle Cox, The Importance of LGBT Representation in Media:

[In 2016, GLAAD’s annual] shows the highest percentage of LGBT characters on our televisions … [but] when more than twenty-five of those characters are killed off in the same year, we know there is still a lot of work to be done. In fact, GLAAD President and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis released a statement saying, “When the most repeated ending for a queer woman is violent death, producers must do better to question the reason for a character’s demise and what they are really communicating to the audience.” When this ending is repeated in show after show and character after character, we can’t help but think the message they are sending is about the worth of our LGBT characters or rather lack thereof. 

James Dawson, The importance of LGBT visibility in children’s books:

I was unaware gay people even existed and, when puberty hit, found myself more than a little lost. I so dearly wish there had been just one book with a character who was a bit like me – just a normal teenage guy who happened to be gay. I would have especially loved one whose sexuality did not define him.

I just know that had there been a diverse range of people like me in books when I was growing up, I wouldn’t have felt abnormal for all those years, which I see now, overwhelmingly, I am not. In 2014, it’s my hope that all young LGBT people can see themselves in fiction and recognise there is a place for them in the world.

Palmer Haasch, “Yuri!!! On Ice” and the importance of positive LGBTQ representation:

Despite my resigned certainty that I was about to be drawn in by the potential of a queer relationship only to be disappointed for the umpteenth time, Yuri!!! On Ice managed to exceed all of my expectations. In the end, the show delivered a thoughtful portrayal of two men developing a deep and trusting romantic relationship that provides LGBTQ viewers with representation of queer individuals being happy together above all else, which is something that we desperately need.

For me, it was the first piece of entertainment media I had seen that didn’t present queer individuals as “other,” but allowed them to simply freely love and exist. While watching, I didn’t have to worry about whether Yuuri or Victor would be outed in an unsafe environment or if Yuuri was going to be unfairly judged on the ice because of his sexuality like so many real life figure skaters have feared in the past. Rather, I fretted over when they were finally going to kiss (because really, it was a long time coming) and if I was ever going to get to see the wedding that was hinted at by their matching gold rings.

Although it is true that the discrimination-free world of Yuri!!! On Ice isn’t realistic (yet), it can help reassure queer individuals like me that they can experience love in the same way as anyone else. At the same time, it provides a glimpse of a future where being queer doesn’t mean being “other”. And that notion is something that I will always work towards and protect.

Additional reading:

Why Visibility Matters

Make Them Gay: Why Queer Representation Matters

Why LGBT Representation Is Important In Media

We Need More Than Visibility

Why It’s Important To Make More Diverse LGBT Films

Queer Representation in the Media

Why Television Needs More LGBT Characters

Importance of LGBT Representation