#but i didnt eat stinky dont worry

[blueberryblowfly]

Each day I suffer knowing that giant African snails are semi common pets in Asia but they are outlawed where I live. Ya girl might smuggle some snails

I feel for you, But! keep your local ecosystem in mind and heart, I dunno where u live, but here in the usa those lil puppies Destroy crops and vegetation and are regarded as Very invasive. I must suggest loving them from afar 😔 heres a fun brave wilderness vid with one in it, i believe coyote mentions this about them as well

have a photo of a pet european snail i had as a teenager, sympathizes ❤🐌

[ofc-vi-writes-too]

so all ive been able to think about is gotham for the past several days, and more specifically how gothamite culture has to be SO drastically different and jarring to literally anywhere else in the world. Like even other super cities like metropolis, or central city, or wherever else are at least KINDA normal. Like yea u have superman or wonderwoman or the flash but they dont really have to deal with the same level of bs as Gotham.

That being said here are a list of things that I think are extremely normal to Gotham, and other things that happen in thay horrible little city:

• the episode of Hot Ones with Brucie Wayne where no one thinks he’ll even be able to stand the 2nd or 3rd wing but he eats all of them with no reaction, and Sean Evans (or the in universe equivalent) just sits there like “wow no one has ever had literally no reaction before this is really crazy, and Bruce Wayne of all people?” Afterwards Bruce has second thoughts and realizes that maybe he should have played up his reaction to the spice a bit more. People Inside of Gotham are a little shocked because everytime he eats in public it is the most boring, bland, flavorless food imaginable. (he handled the spice so well because Batman is ready for all potential threats and forms of torture. Ridiculous levels of spice included)

• Gotham schools offer courses in self defense. In some school districts its actually mandatory, thats usually in old gotham or downtown gotham. In more affluent areas, self defense is still taught in schools, but most kids are sent to some ritzy trainer to make sure they can defend themselves.

• No one even blinks when theres a new vigilante by the time Damian comes around. Theres still a little buzz but by the time Duke shows up, people are like “Oh cool another one. HEY BRO WHATS YOUR NAME.” I saw someone post here about how when the Wayne kids get mad at Bruce, they go to Selina and make public appearances as Stray, Catwomans sidekick. I personally believe that Tim was the first one to do it but Dick does it the most, and gothamites didnt even need to get used to Stray showing up sometimes, nor did people really care that Stray was always wildly different heights, shapes, colors, etc. the additude is kinda like “I have taxes and job security to worry about. If a new vigilante is what were doing then so be it.”

• People tend to think that Gothamites aren’t smart, but that city is home to the Richest, smartest, most creative people alive. They mostly just lack morals. Like Dr. Freeze, Harley Quinn, hell even The Riddler are all insanely intelligent. Half of Gothams Villains have at minimum 2 Doctorates in something or other. Gotham generates a lot of cash as a whole, and small businesses thrive there. They have high employment rates, and most citizens have their associates despite everything happening around them. People who have never been to Gotham before expect to have to talk down to the citizens but Gothamites just kinda roll their eyes at them and carry on about their merriment.

• Gothamites CONSTANTLY says “because I’m Batman” when they don’t want to explain themselves. Kids hear it a lot from parents and they also get “If you don’t go to sleep, Condiment Man i gonna come and cover you in stinky relish.” Because truly what else is condiment man good for.

• Gothamites who work at BatBurger and typically work the night shift are used to visits from Batman, Robin, Red Hood, Cat Woman, Harley Quinn, etc. Sometimes they remember the workers and ask about their family, and how life is, and other things like that. Theres some barely 18 y/o who just graduated high school who worls at Bat Burger, and asked Red Hood to help him impress his gf by saying theyre friends. He like fuck it why not and tells the gf that the kid helped him save an old lady’s cat in a tree and now theyre bffs. She totally believes it. Score.

• I see the Gotham thinks Batman is Bruce Wayne’s boyfriend theories and raise you: Its pretty common knowledge that Bruce Wayne is Batman, just no one has the heart to tell him. Also theyre scared he will quit if anyone brings it up. So from this Gothamites created the joke that BW and batman are dating and when asked about it in an interview, dick grayson is like “……yes! My adoptive father is dating the guy who dressed up like a bat every night…!”

• this cuased and arguement between Bruce and Dick because no! Bruce isnt dating Batman! (stray was seen again that week) HE IS BATMAN! But fuck now the public thinks theyre a couple so now bruce gets asked about it and hes like “haha yes my spooky bat bf is who i love very dearly!” As punishment He makes Dick bring him flowers in the batsuit because “as far as he is concerned, this is his shithead son’s fault.” Thats a direct quote btw. Little does he know this somehow ties back to Tim Drake before they met.

[crowtrinkets]

Which LL Characters are invited to the Carne Asada

Carne Asada, The Cookout, The Barbecue, The Family Picnic if you will

I will be grading the Last Legacy characters based on if I trust them to interact with my Mexican ass family

1. Felix

NO ABSOLUTELY NOT

This boy would embarrass himself and then probably say something stupid/insulting to my relatives. He LOVES to brag and ik that would not bode well. Also Felix is such a light weight, my uncles are the type to take shots at a funeral, no way he would survive They would also try to feed him such much food.

“You want more beans mijo?”

“Oh no thank you”

“You want more beans :) “

2. Anisa

Yes, however

I know she would be so awkward. She would be way too nice and take any food given to her and eat until she is sick. But once she starts drinking I know Anisa would be fun and dance with all the Tías and Tíos. But then she would definitely drink way too much (she likes a challenge) and get sloshed leading to a terrible hang over the next day

3. Sage

Nooooo definitely not

Sage would get way too drunk and somehow swindle everyone out of their money in cards. However I do know he would eat a lot and the Abeulas would love him for it. Yea he can hold himself in a drinking game but Sage is just way too chaotic and would probably catch something on fire

4. Rime

No

No way in hell

Rime would piss everyone off and then steal cake I just know it. I dont think he would drink and he would refuse more food if he didnt want it. Stinky deer man

5. Saaros

I love Saaros but no

Their dry humor and tendency to be a little snobby would also piss everyone off lmao. And I feel like they would complain about the food. Something about the enchiladas having too much cheese (no such thing) they would probably sit in the corner and sip the same margarita the whole night

6. Tulsi

Maybe

I feel like Tulsi is very similar to Sage and would also get drunk and eat lots of food. But I feel like she could also be lots of fun. But I also feel like Tulsi is kind of awkward socially? She might just keep to herself but if Sage were also there it would be chaos

7. Elowen

Yes!!

I love Elowen, she comes off as scary and mean but she’s actually so sweet. But shes also very shy so I’d be worried about her feeling too awkward. I think would also keep to herself but would be nice to everyone so she’s welcome to come but I wont force her

8. Escell

No

Not that he would even show up but no. Escell is a stinky rat man and would depress/judge everyone. If he DID go he would get way too drunk and be very inappropriate. Blocked

9. Scylla

No

She gives up tight vibes. She would stress me out the whole time I wouldn’t know what to do. I dont think she would enjoy it either. Would also probably nurse a drink in the corner hating her life. Say the music is too loud or something. Might flirt

10. Florian

Yes!!! 100%!

I just know Florian would have so much fun. He would eat, drink, laugh, dance. All the stuff you do at a party. I just know Florian would be a 10/10 guest and everyone would love him. He just seems so nice and welcoming

Idk why I thought of this but I thought it would be funny lmao

I love all these characters but sometimes they’re a lil dumb ❤️

[forestryfae]

Of COURSE these are the questions I ask!

💥:Favourite B10 Villian.

💢:Least Favourite B10 Villian.

✏ :What character(s) would you have liked to see more of, or have gotten better writing/screentime?

💥: Fistrick is great just because of the way he is. hes super smart, talks like a gym slash frat bro, is dressed kinda punk, and prbably listens to Insane Clown Posse or something. The Vreedle Brothers are fucking fantastic because of the way they talk even i i only understand half the shit they say sometimes but when i do im loving it. and because they love explosions and its hilarious to watch them bicker with ben and eachother and cus theyre just. so sweet. i would vibe with them. if they were real wed be friends and theyd never blow me up even by accident because were friends Albedo because hes a narcissistic bitch and like. hes not wrong. hes actually pretty justified in his anger. i also like his potential for found family and the whole azmuth is his dad theory its very fun and adds depth Mad Ben cus hes australian and mad max vibes. god i love his stinky sandy ass. eat chrome please maybe itll taste better than the lizards he 100% eats The other Evil Bens too just because (i dont count albedo as a ben) Charmcaster cus shes fucking dangerous and i love when shes talking to her purse or doing evil hot irl shit and also designs in os/ov are BEAUTFUL and even tho i dont LOVE her in uaf she was still an interesting villain. hate her uaf design tho like can you GET more evil disney villain design??? you cant. boring. Herve. his crime is being french. hes a supportive boyfriend tho so hes allowed to exist. 💢: Vilgax. listen. he was a FANTASTIC villain in os and the movie. but after that? they nerfed him, made him the butt of the joke, showed him as stupid, arrogant, and too selfabsorbed to realize what was up instead of cunning and ruthless, made him ask BEN for HELP against zskayr, gave him dramatic monologues, nerfed him again and made azmuth say he wouldnt be able to comprehend the omnitrix??? and had ben trick him with it by pretending hed teach vilgax how to use it??? hello??? he tried to steal it and he was able to atleast once before and USED it. it makes no sense. and the whole Daggon arc was so stupid. os vilgax would never. ov vilgax was a disappointment too, i liked the whole attea and co hunts vilgax ep and the vilgax and albedo team up was good alho albedo would NEVER. hes too petty and bitchy for pulling that shit twice. hed sooner team up with michael or charmcaster. like. vilgax was such a scary and ruthless villain in os and he was threathening, powerful, and actually something to worry about. he frequently hurt people, he stole the omntitrix at one point, he didnt exchange jokes with ben or do oneliners. he was just. brutal. so yeah i like uhhhh. 1/4th of him. the other 3/4ths i hate. i did like the ma vreedle joke but i honestly think it wouldve been more funny if they had kept his original personality, and wouldve shown ma vreedle as an actual villain rather than just a ruthlessly criminal mom Zombozo. he was fine in his debut episode but after that he became overused and his threat level slumped. also both of the circus eps are too similar and i dont like that they essentially reused the plot. hes also just so. boring. he has NO new tricks, no new schemes, no new powers, his design changed a little bit but that was it Liam. sorry but hes just too Comedic Background Villain and i dont like that he looks like a cartoon chicken Maltruant makes this list despite being a good villain and not one i actually dislike, but he was barely in the series and in the last episodes he felt overpowered and it infuriated me. i hate overpowered characters, they feel more like a maladaptive daydream than an actual character. so yeah. overall hes  Hex has never been a favourite, i just dont think hes interesting. hes decent in os but no THAT fun. also??? making gwen think hes hot? the FUCK. man of action i am BEGGING on my FUCKING KNEES Looma. yes shes hot but her entire arc was just her trying to marry ben. bad plot, barely any personality, no real threat whatsoever aside from wanting to marry ben. they offhandedly mention her conquering some city but like my dudes Just Show Us. Show Don’t Mention Once In A Line That Can Be Easily Forgotten Ultimate Kevin 11. decent concept, terrible execution, horrible ending to the plot Azmuth. im putting him on this list because hes a dicka dn also i dont like his characterization in uaf/ov and also becasue of what he did to albedo and malware

✏: Albedo. his entire story needs to go away i know what that frog needs and deserves and its Not That. also he only has like 9 eps? the fuck? give him more. make him bens asshole martial arts trainer whos smug whenever he beats ben and smug whenever ben wins because of what he taught him. the teams hacker/tech support whenever kevin cant or doesnt wanna do something or its just faster to go to him. the weird big brother whose apartment they all invade whenever they need advice or wanna hang out or just wanna get away from home and get some peace and quiet to read a book and do homework. make him cross and doublecross them several times and despite it all hes still stuck on earth and stuck as a human and despite betraying them they still come back to him even when theyre mad at him because the fate of the world and the universe is at stake and they need someone and max just isnt there. he doesnt understand why they come back. he wouldnt have. kevin does though. its lonely and its gotta suck being stuck in a body he doesnt want with noone who cares about him or where he is with a brain and emotions that work against him and make him misaligned with other people. make him someone ben can go to to bitch about azmuth and make him bitch to ben about azmuth and make him bens personal encyclopedia and the first guy he goes to when the omnitrix fucks up. make him gwens personal tutor who he bickers with because theyre both too smart and snotty for eachothers and their own goods, but dont let that stop him from helping gwen finish her homework or study more complex subjects or stop him from encouraging her to go further. she could go to any university if she wants to and there are options in space should she want them. ofc dont remove his narcissism or egomania or personality but give him a character arc and a found family and give him something better than just becoming a mini ben. Mad Ben as well. you cant just take a brutal, fearsome, angry, and plain cruel version of ben and give him no backstory aside from Lives In Desert and Matruant Mentored Him. WHERE is the backstory? i wanna see maltruant actually talking to him, i wanna know how he found the omnitrix and where max and gwen was, i wanna see how maltruant was training him, i wanna see how bellwood became benwood, i wanna see how rook - the upstanding citizen veryone cherises for being just and efficient - became the most cruel person in the universes underling. i wanna see him rise in ranks and see how much hurt he gives and creates before people learn not to fuck with him and i wanna see how much hurt he has to go through to get to where he is and how much it breaks or makes him to have everythng stripped away from him because his own worst enemy is himself and mini self, and how it affects him to not understand how or why, and how just a tiny little metal ring on his arm can destroy and halt all his had work and how hes planning on bouncing back and getting back at prime and 23 and everyone who betrayed him. and preferably hed have a redemption arc too and he has to undo all that grief he caused but he does it anyway because its worth it

[coolestfinch]

it just occurred to me that you all have never seen my cats! heres a little intro to the trio (in respective photo order, as well as order of when we got them!) <3

celeste: thats MY baby. she was the first cat i chose to adopt. she's about 4 years old, and has a dump truck ass that i didnt know was possible for cats to have. she's not FAT, she's just... thicc??? i never call her by her name, usually only by “fat ass” or “stinky girl”. she's also very picky with who she gives affection to, and its usually me :3

leo: a stray we decided to let into our house who eventually just stayed! hes older, we think 7 or 8, and hes the most affectionate cat ever. and EXTREMELY food driven. he will follow you to the kitchen, and cry for you to give him wet food every time. he also will eat almost any people food you put in front of him and usually gets a very very tiny taste of every meal we have

oscar: STUPID. LITTLE. BASTARD. he was born from a little lady stray in our garage with 2 sisters, all 3 of them got adopted but we chose to keep him. he was the runt of the litter, but hes beefed up over time! hes 2 years old. he pees on everything (dont worry, hes getting neutered soon) and isnt very keen on affection but he still likes to lie near you. hes also very curious and eats anything plastic thats lying around on the floor. he is a little shit head and literally knocked something off my dresser as i was typing this. we think he might have some genuine neurological issues but we love him all the same 

[saltedsour]

tutorial level lore (for real)

i didnt proofread this after 1.75 hours of typing and that's your fault because i said so

expect typos and nonsense

CORRUPTED:

everybody forgets about him like wtf,,,.???? i swear everybody just goes "HIIIII IM SO HAPPY ALL FOUR OF US ARE HERE" "please i'm right here"

playlist mode also forgot about him 😢

to be fair i forgot about them until right as i started typing

also needs a hug. actually fuck that they all need a hug

the,,, the shortest,,... i i cannot..... they're short oh my gosh

probably one of those wiggly cactus fucks but like angry at everything

also the youngest out of all of em.... babeyyyyyyyy...

110% has a cool scarf i mean come on guys

ok to differentiate between corruption and this fucker's name i'm gonna give him a capital C at the start

tbh they all have that certain vibe that i can't explain rn rn but corrupted and blixer the most so uhhhhhh they vibe together share a vibe yeah

unironically dabs

probably the less focused on MURDERING spicy player shapes

"Okay look ASSHOLES I was the first out all of us to be pink so y'all should really treat me with more respect" they don't

has the best song and ill fight you over that

would look rlly cool if they were like....... not Corrupted just not them

glares at chronos every time he says wink out loud.

his last name's probably kyle

CHRONOS:

doesnt have a face anymore. it's a clock now.

NO his face doesn't mostly tell the time accurately and that pisses logic off the most.

ironically dabs

maybe the tallest but maybe logic's taller i haven't rlly decided yet ok ok

he cant right now he's dunking his bible in milk

rlly wants to eat food sometimes so he just yeets like fucking corn flakes at his face. milky ways also sometimes yeets corn flakes at his face.

"Wowwwww you guys have FACES??? smh."

maybe believes the world is flat

types for 20 minutes after you insult him online

would set fire to the tree of life and watch every second of them burning

the tree's probably fireproof tho and like i don't think fighting the fucking shape goddess went well last time??? didn't it??? now u dont have to worry abt getting ur face hurt that's for sure

Probably part enderman at this point like what the fuck how did you get out of that locked room???? You just see him fucking leave out of another room like OK CHRONOS

says wink out loud

does the most jobs for the tree (outside of what they all usually do)

what they're supposed to do (teach those spicy player shapes to not die) isn't what they actually do now (try to kill spicy player shapes unless they're good enough to not die and get the fuck out of there!!!)

Genuinely misses having a face.

MILKY WAYS:

she has the most braincells. and eyes. three eyes. (and three braincells)

second shortest,!!! will fight you

probably the most reliable at reading anything

"okay guys it's been fun but i'm going to space now" *walks out of the room*

probably would be like rlly competitive in video games and like whenever they suddenly win when you were about to win you hear them gleefully cackling thats actually rlly wholesome wtf me

"guys is the world flat yes or no" "does my life depend on the answer???" "YES. YES IT DOES, CHRONOS." "uuuuuuuHHhhHHhhHh"

probably added megalovania to the group's playlist (if they had one.................)

the tree of life definitely once yeeted the fucker she just grabbed her fucking face and went YEET!!!!! no idea why but that 100% happened

played minecraft and left a review saying there wasn't enough squares

fought Corrupted and won

"i'm gonna munch. i'm gonna crunch" just steals somebody's fucking c h i p s and SPRINTS away

strong shitpost energy tbh??

doesn't know the difference between astronomy or astrology

nobody can see any stars™️ where they live and she rlly wants to see stars™️ (it's her aesthetic ok) (smh) (you wouldn't get it)

they might just be in the fuckign void thats not rlly an aesthetic

LOGIC GATEKEEPER:

doesn't understand most memes tbh

YAAYYYYYY SECOND TALLEST.... or NOT!!!!!!!!!!

"guys ur not being logical....... 💔"

would whisper wikipedia articles to you <3

i'd say they could do the best maths out of everybody but rlly i dont trust them with 1 + 1

unironically would type like... this... sometimes...

"guys why are you awake it's like 3 am" "shut the fuck up logic we're eating stolen c h i p s"

probably has rlly cool legs (i forgot to delete this but now i'm kinda liking what me 10 minutes ago said)

they maybe broke 1 law but it was just one of the laws of reality (like a fucking nerd smh)

T-poses regularly to assert dominance over the three shorter peasants.

actually the only one that still likes the tree of life. "GUYS GUYS SHE'S COOL WTF???" "logic please she fucking deleted my face"

fought Corrupted once and lost

favourite flavour drink is water

everybody probably calls them logic because saying three more syllables is just too hard

BLIXER. THAT FUCK:

angry!!

also dabs but maybe???? ironically (he doesn't know either anymore)

wtf he's directly middle height to everybody (bht he's taller than everybody in that stinky new game form though so good for him)

punches stuff!!!!!

"guys where are my c h i p s"

he has a pupil but only sometimes for no reason

probably went into the tutorial gang like wayyyy after everybody else so he's the new shape™️

"hey guys check out this neat selfie" he just shows them an image of sans

kinda "died" but he actually just took over the world

the tree of life also tells everybody what they need to know rn rn so like she just went "heyyy yeah he died 😭 have fun guys" and went off to go be mean to him for like. ever.

he is a cat. he will never forget that. everybody keeps reminding him plEASE GUYS

ahhhhhhhhhh!! water scary

types for a fucking hour if you insult him online

rlly needs a hug

tired 24/7

probably wears a hoodie. all the time. even in the summer.

most focused on spicy player shape murder.

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21

zoom and enhonse

LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats

DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today

CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//

so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza

(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)

OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.

i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo

we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE

[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.

time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then

nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing

thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)

silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]

THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog

EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE

sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text

charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this

i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"

charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons

charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP

oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.

thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem

solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.

michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME

its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.

jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE

we are just calling it a weird dog

we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,

JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!

solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found

silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!

man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.

we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans

UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL

huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.

used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.

i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.

charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.

okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.

oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered

k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,

time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that

first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog

(oh my god this is from late 2018)

leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead

nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables

WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions

HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]

camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent

man remember when charlie didnt wear pants

oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!

okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.

ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.

SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE

charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!

LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian

jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,

we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.

michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.

BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)

THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL

sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.

man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?

solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]

prophecies are weird.

charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money

oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"

[captain039]

My fool

John Marston X reader

I'm like really ify with abigail honestly she seems like a bitch xD

Summary: You work with the gang but you in secret working in the bar when John gets drunk and touchy Abi finds out and you can never show your face again you just cant.

Warnings: Jealous Abigail. light swearing, heated moments, drunkness, light spoilers? angst

It was great to be out of the moutains no snow going down your neck every minute. Damn pinkertons, but now the fresh air and sun greeted you and also drunken stinky men. Sure you offered to be the bar maid tryna find out things. None of the others would've now you think about it. You were serving left right and center the saloon full of people laughter and smells. You were getting a headache all this commotion but that's what you signed up for. You sighed cleaning a glass glancing at the man that walked in you smiled seeing John giving him a friendly greeting as he gave you a nod. Something was wrong definatly he drank a hole bottle down and wanted more. You were worried he was your gang brother.

"John you good?" You asked he snorted drinking some more.

"Abigail always yelling and arguing I'm trying my best i just dont know how to" he sighed swishing the liquid in his cup.

"I'm sure it's fine John, shes got it hard with little Jack and all this moving it isn't easy for a woman" You commented handing another man a drink as he gave you a wink. You made disgusted face turning back to John.

"I'm sure she'll be ok soon just give her time alright?" he nodded sighing.

"Ugh think it's gone to my head" He groaned you took his drink away guiding him to a room.

"Some days Marston" You sighed helping him. He smirked chuckling as you sat him on the bed he pulled you down laughing as you fell on top of him.

"John!" you cried trying to push yourself off but he gripped your waist.

"John stop your drunk" You said nerves flowing through you. Ain't nobody ever gonna find about your feelings for him no one ever they'll go you always said.

"John please" You said struggling against him. He nipped your ear making you freeze as he let out a small groan.

"J-john" your voice was shakey his lips connecting to your jaw.

"John stop your drunk and Abigail" You froze hearing the door open and a loud gasp following after wards.

"You bitch!" You snapped your head yo Abi as she stormed off you felt horrible as you knocked John out with your pistol and ran after her.

"ABIGAIL WAIT" You shouted as she left on her horse. You stood in the rain mud covering your boots what have you done?

You rode away guilt, sadness, loss Abigail saw you as her close friend she told you and now well. You sat in an open paddock your Horse Gal grazing on the grass. You hadn't gone back in three days now kept moving you couldn't go back not after what you did. You sighed turning the meet slowly over the fire when you heard approaching footsteps.

"Sir I dont want company" You said politely looking to him. You froze seeing John on his horse looking worried.

"Where the hell have you been?" he said worried, he didnt remember.

"Away why do you care I've gone longer" You fought not ready to face him.

"Not with out telling anyone not even Tilly" He said sliding to the ground.

"Oh well I can handle myself dont need to tell no one" You said crossing your arms.

"The hell Y/n?" he questioned as you glared.

"The hell to you John you dont even remember!" you shouted standing up.

"I do" He growled you froze backing down.

"Then leave me alone I ain't coming back not after what happened I broke our trust" You said sadly.

"You ain't done shit I was the one who was drunk" He said as you sat back down taking the meat off.

"Well it's done now just go" You snapped a little to harshly.

"No not until you come back" He huffed sitting down. You gave up eating your meal.

He didnt go anywhere even when you took off with out notice he followed. You couldn't go back no way you felt like a dirty whore taking a married man even if he wasn't but they had a child. And Jack! he would hate you.

You made it to strawberry soon enough finding some work there.

"Yske this to the gang and this" You said handing him a bag and a note.

"You coming?" he asked.

"No just deliver it to them please" You begged him a look in your eyes.

"Fine but dont run off" He mounted and ran off. You sighed brushing your horse a light neigh coming from it sensing your emotions.

"I'm ok boy" You pet him handing him a sugar cube.

John went back to camp note and bag in hand you'd made quite a lot of money and stolen a few things. He gave them to the bow before gathering everyone you were their support always looking out for everyone.

"Y/n sent a not you all can take turns or read it now but I gotta get her back somehow" John said glancing at Abigail they sorted it out knowing they weren't right she just wanted her friend back.

"I'll go with you" Arthur said John shook his head.

"Its ok I gotta do this" he said before riding off again.

You were crying in the hotel your tears not stopping why did everything have to be so damn difficult. You wish you didnt have feelings back when everyone was robbing and having the good life. Now it's just messed up horse shit.

You heard a knock at the door as you sighed wiping your face before opening the door. John took his hat off giving you a concerned look.

"Why'd you come back" You said your eyes watering.

"Just leave me alone its easier" You walked away but he followed closing the door.

"It ain't easier" He spoke softly.

"Yeah it is you'll forget" He shook his head.

"Dont think I'll ever forget you" You smiled but scoffed feeling another wave of tears.

"You treat Abigail and that boy right ok just promise me that" You said.

"I dont love Abigail" You frowned turning to him.

"What?" you questioned as he stepped closer.

"We weren't gonna work were to much alike both stubborn as hell" He chuckled lightly.

"I love someone else" He added staring at you, you gulped his hand resting on your cheek.

"John" You gripped his wrist pushing him away.

"Stop pushing me away please" Your bottom lip shook as you sighed shakily. John rested his head against yours holding your neck his thumb rubbing gently.

"Your a fool Marston" You said holding his wrist still.

"I know" He smiled you shook your head as he leaned back up looking at you.

"But I guess your my fool I think" He grinned placing his other hand on your cheek and kissing you intently. You moaned quietly wrapping your arms around his neck. His moved down to your waist holding you close, before pulling apart panting slightly.

"Guess I am" You chuckled shaking your head as he smiled leaning against your head again. He was a damned fool.

I think there needs to be more John Marston x reader honestly xD

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

raising a kitten js SO MUCH easier than raising a puppy and i will 100% die on this hill... you dont really even have to train a cat in any way, you just have to socialize them and keep them out of things they arent supposed to touch/eat, but you dont have to worry about them like, shitting everywhere or mauling someone bc u missed all the signs of anxiety and didnt get them professional help like with dogs sometimes ... like. cats halfway raise THEMSELVES you dont have to TEACH them you just have to like... get them USED to shit (like grooming/handling) but thats it!! and its EASIER if you get them young unlike dogs!!!!

don't get me wrong i love dogs so much but i do NOT want to own one any time in the forseeable future like cats can be assholes but you dont have to worry about them killing someone bc u didn't train them well ... like ive had a cat with Capital I Issues and was half feral when we got her, but she never really bothered anyone, she would swat or hiss at people bc they didnt respect her boundaries and that was about it, she had LONGSTANDING ISSUES and she never scared anyone half as much as my sister's doofy ass dog who is so desperate for attention and love, she scares the SHIT out of me bc she is EXTREMELY anxious and if they dont get that shit FIXED by a PROFESSIONAL its only a matter of time before she seriously hurts somebody... and honestly being responsible for an animal capable of that is too much for me, no thanks! im good! id rather hold this lap-sized apex predator in my arms like a stinky baby, knowing it can't do much to anything bigger than IT is

[bunnyhunnyttc-blog]

Trying and Failing on So Many Levels

So the first week that we were supposed to try, I was fertile, aroused, and had a perfect cycle. Day 14, ewcm on deck, and libido through the roof. Boyfriend and I had talked about this for months. The day was finally here. I get in bed... He’s too tired from work. He watches TV and falls asleep. 

My world came crashing down. I became angry. I wanted to scream. Why would he turn me down, watch TV, and go to sleep when It’s time for us to get pregnant?! I somehow knew that this was our only chance to get pregnant this month. He’d soon be gone again for work and I’d be busy again. Lets just say I suffered in silence. After all, we had discussed letting it just “happen” and being spontaneous. 

But I was going crazy. It was rough. But I got over it. Eventually, I decided that it was another opportunity for me to exercise and lose some more weight before getting pregnant. 

And so, for the next few months I kept going back and diving into that same swimming pool with no water. Month after month, I was crushed. BFN after BFN. Each time, I questioned myself. I beat myself up. I blamed myself. It must be my PCOS. I must be too stressed. I must have worked out too hard. I must want it too badly. Then when that didnt make me feel better, I blamed him. He never wants to try when I want to. We didnt do it enough. He doesnt eat as healthy as me. Then I would blame myself again. I’m pressuring him too much. He’s turned off and has changed his mind about trying. The list goes on and on. 

Ultimately, it went from something that was supposed to be fun and exciting, to something that was depressing and stressful. Each month, I recorded my symptoms. Each month NEW symptoms! This must be it! I prayed harder, I relaxed more, I was more aroused, We had more tries during fertile week, my boobs are way more sore, i’ve never felt this type of twinge or pain, this has to be implantation bleeding, I exercised more (or less) this month, I felt flutters, I gained weight, I lost weight, I had negative thoughts, I had positive thoughts, insomnia, crazy dreams, nausea, and all kinds of other tell-tale signs. I knew I was pregnant every month. I was wrong every month.

Every time my cycle started, I went through a 2-3 day depression. Then I got over it and went into the next cycle hopeful that It was just not time. Surely next month will be our time. I stopped blaming him, I stopped blaming me. I stopped all the new things. I went back to the old things like just relaxing, laughing drinking wine, not planning or forcing sex, deleting my period tracker app, and just “letting it happen”. And still, It didnt happen. 

Then came the horrible advice. People said the most horrible things. It made everything worse. I wished I hadnt told anybody.

I went through mental breakdowns. Depression. Panic. Anxiety. And then...

BV. Bacterial Vaginosis just about ruined my life. Why is it that I didnt have BV in the beginning but I have it now? Why cant my pH stay balanced? What is wrong with me? How can I make this go away if TTC is causing it? It’s just too much. The BV sent me off the deep end. Because the last thing a woman needs, when her self esteem is bruised and she already feels like less of a woman because she cant have kids...the last thing she needs is to LITERALLY FEEL less of a woman! Weird smells that dont smell like me. Weird secretions that arent me. Worrying that my boyfriend was now turned off and wouldnt want to try. Worrying that he’d see me as less of a woman. 

The most joyful time of my life became the most miserable. I was DEPRESSED. I didnt want to get out of bed. I didnt want to have sex. But I didnt want to miss the opportunity because that just might be the time that we’d get pregnant. I felt crazy. I had breakdowns, insomnia, and crying episodes. I felt like my boyfriend would see me as a weak, pitiful, stinky, unattractive woman who was nothing like the one he fell in love with. 

Was TTC going to end our relationship? 

I complained to so many friends and vented about how depressed I was. Nothing they said helped.

Was TTC going to end our friendships?

I wished I hadnt told anybody. I wished we never even started trying. Things were so much easier before.

[tumblunni]

AAAAAARARRRRRGHHH WHAT A WASTED PLOT TWIST god I feel so mad, that would have been really good in any other context it was really surprising!! it should have been really depressing and got me amped to see this villain be defeated, but instead its just depressing in the sort of ‘well there goes my only reason to keep reading this comic’ way :P Spoils n stuff for Phantom School, so don’t read under the cut if you’re interested in reading it. But meh its really obscure manhwa with a reaaaaallly slow translation and its dropped in quality so much and abandoned its initial premise, so I wouldnt blame anyone for not reading it... SERIOUSLY, why have we just run away from the whole concept of Phantom School for a twenty chapter arc that’s now been extendd EVEN MORE? The idea of a human being a teacher at a school for youkai is awesome!! I didnt come here for just a generic shonen battle against some random mysterious shadow guy who only got his identity finally revealed after 20 chapters. In a series where each chapter is 50 pages. 50 pages twice the size of A4, cos it started as an infinate-scrolling webcomic interface. A LOT OF PAGES. 20 chapters is over half the size of THE WHOLE STORY SO FAR and we ONLY JUST learned who the mystery villain is and why we should care about him and it as a reveal that killed off my fave character in a really sadistic way and revealed someone else was evil all along, and we havent even SEEN the goddamn protagonist for so long so they were the closest thing we had to protagonists right now an GAHHHH anyway, spoiler talk:

BLACKIE BLACKIE WHY gahhhhhh Literally RIGHT AFTER the comic revealed his backstory and why he trusts One-Armed so much, they show us him sacrificing himself to protect One-Armed after he was captured by the shadow monster, only to IMMEDIATELY give us a second flashback that recontexualizes everything and reveals One-Armed IS the shadow monster, and he was just faking it all to brainwash this guy into his willing servant and then eat his soul when he outlived his usefulness

Oh and I just need to take a second to point out how the translation is kinda bad and literal. The guy is named Blackie cos that’s the closest they could get to the nickname he had back when he was a normal mortal dog who got reincarnated as this humanoid youkai. It tends to have a problem of over-translating stuff that doesnt need to be translated?? At least ‘Blackie’ mostly works in-context, but its damn weird that this guy is called One-Armed. And used to be called Left-Armed before that! They translate EVERYONE’S names as if they weren’t names, they translate the names of all the youkai even! I guess its an easy mistake cos its a korean manga using japanese monsters, so I’d assume there’s a bit of confusion from a casual translator. *shrug* BUT SERIOUSLY Not even ‘One Arm’ but One-Armed. Super literal visual descriptors of everyone! It gets a bit weird and problematic when it comes to a disabled guy and literally a black guy named Blackie... And... Left-Armed??? ‘This guy is so spectacular, he possesses two arms! How Unusual!’ Its supposed to be because he could turn his left arm into a magic claw, but meh. And it gets uber problematic since the point is that One-Armed is now the villain and he uses shadow powers, so we have people yelling ‘damn that black guy for killing blackie’ and just... I’m glad this got translated so I can read it, but it can be really hard to understand sometimes :P

ANYWAY

Its just so demotivational and horrible and gahhhh And it COULD have been a really emotionally affecting twist, cos its destroying a good character and revealing it was all a lie, and just.. gahhh But we ONLY JUST heard the backstory of One-Armed being a good guy and Blackie having his reasons to care about him THAT got me emotional, and the speed of the backpedal just negates that emotion instead of evoking new ones its just got SO dark and cynical now that it kills all my interest especially cos its so padded out long, and so hard to understand the translation... and seriously we’ve spent so many chapters focusing on these two instead of the protagonist and just GAHHH it makes a long filler arc feel so wasted!

and I’m just so damn sad for Blackie!! his backstory is that he was this sweet adorable puppy whose owner became homeless, and he doesnt understand it and he’s just ‘don’t worry, I’ll wait!’ you’re struggling to push this fast food cart up a hill? youre doing extra shifts? I’ll wait! we dont do that job anymore? we won’t sleep indoors for a long time? I’ll wait! you’re feeling too sad and tired to pet me today? I’ll wait! I’m sick? We cant afford to see the doctor? I’ll wait! Oh the doctor didnt do my surgery? I guess I’m not sick after all! I’ll get better soon, you just wait! Meanwhile his owner is crying and struggling to scrape together any money to afford it, starving even more than usual, going back to the doctor every day to beg for help even as everyone is all ‘ugh this stinky homeless bastard’, kicking him out and then one day Blackie can’t wait for his owner to come back, he tries to follow him to the doctor, and doesnt realise the traffic lights have changed his owner sees him about to be hit by the car and yells at him to wait, which just manages to save him! but while he was distracted saving his dog he got hit by the car instead :( and then we have Blackie licking his lifeless face, and the monologue of “Are you sleeping? I’ll wait! Can I lie down next to you?” *UGLY SOBBING*

And then he meets One-Armed cos he was the youkai assigned to reap this soul. Apparantly Blackie’s love was so strong that his pure soul is able to see soul-creatures, so he can grab his owner’s soul and try and protect it from One-Armed AND THE SECOND FLASHBACK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN WORSE IN CONTEXT Cos One-Armed was actually trying to eat that soul, and Blackie actually did save it! One-Armed was just this horrible asshole who’d infiltrated the soul reaper government group as a way to hunt for victims in his serial killer nonsense :P But then the story we get in the first flashback is that One-Armed is totally nice and Blackie caused him to lose his arm while fighting off a monster from eating that soul, and it was totally bad that he didnt cooperate and such So he feels like he owes One-Armed, and thats why he became a youkai and joined the organization as One-Armed’s new partner And then we have a montage of how he started trusting One-Armed and seeing him as his new owner that he loved even more than his original one, and then he lets go of the soul and lets his old owner get reincarnated... And ALL OF THIS was for nothing and he was being manipulated by a lying freako who controls this fake shadow monster to hide his own crimes, and he HELPED HIDE THOSE CRIMES unwittingly, cos he was so convinced his best friend loved him too! T_________________T

and its just... SUCH A SADISTIC WAY TO KILL HIM OFF it looks like ‘oh no the shadow monster has captured One-Armed, we have our chance to kill it but it’d mean killing One-Armed too!’ and Blackie cares about him so much that he abandons logic and stops the other heroes from taking that chance to kill the monster and then ONE-ARMED KILLS HIM And all along he was the real shadow monster and he faked his whole capture and Blackie just cos everyone the chance to defeat him and now he is dead and in retrospect he abandoned his ENTIRE LIFE to join One-Armed as a partner and it was all for a sick fucker who pretends to be a friend and just *SOB* *SOB* And now stupid shadow fucker has won and everyone is dying and EVEN WORSE THAN THAT it means this arc is gonna be EVEN LONGER and we probably will never go back to the school-based plot :P And the translators left us off on this cliffhanger and it took AN ENTIRE YEAR for this translation update so who knows how long the next one will be :P :( :( :( :( :( :(