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harryspet · 2 days ago

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rough hands, soft chains [3] r.cameron

[warnings] dark!rancher!rafe x bimbo!cowgirl!reader, arranged marriage, rancher au, manipulation, size difference, DUBCON, rafe is HUGE, pain with sex, fingering, breeding kink, little editing, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+

In which you're not sure you truly have what it takes to "accommodate" your new fiancé.

word count: 4.2k

rough hands, soft chains masterlist

“Why do you insist on stealing my fiance?”

Wheezie looked up at her brother from her place on the carpet. You were placing the last hair roller around her freshly curled hair, pinning it place. The two of you had spent the last two hours giving each other spa treatments, evidenced by the face mask on Wheezie’s face, and the under eye patches on yours. It seemed obvious to you what you were up to but Rafe’s face scrunched in confusion, maybe even annoyance, at the sight before him.

“We’re having a girls night!” Wheezie protested, “Get out!”

You blinked, glancing between the two siblings, trying to gauge whether this was actual tension or just their usual back-and-forth. Navigating the Cameron family dynamic was a constant puzzle, and you hated feeling caught in the middle of it. You genuinely liked all of them in different ways.

Well, almost all of them.

You weren’t sure what it was that you felt for Rafe. He seemed to force all the feelings out of you, prying his way into your brain and into your heart.

“You can’t hold her hostage, Wheeze,” Her brother raised his voice back, “I need to talk to her, you know, about adult things. Shit you wouldn’t get.”

“Adult things, gross,” You could practically hear Wheezie’s smirk, “I’m sure Y/N would rather hang out with me than do adult things with you.”

The meaning initially passed over your head. You looked at Rafe innocently, “Y/N?” His shift in focus to you made you panic for a moment.

“Oh, well … we were going to do some meditation before bed too.”

Rafe’s lips quirked into a smile that couldn’t possibly be genuine, “Fine, just come get me when you’re done.”

The way he slammed Wheezie’s door shut also gave you the impression that he wasn’t happy.

“Ignore him,” Wheezie said quickly. You admired her defiance sometimes. Rafe didn’t ever to seem to really rattle her the way he did to you.

Over the past few weeks, she had become your guide to surviving life in this house. Out of everyone, she understood Rafe best. Sarah barely came around, and when she did, the way she looked at you��pitying, almost regretful—made you uncomfortable. You hated it. You’d rather spend time with Rose, who had taken you wedding dress shopping just the day before, only to scold you for picking something too “revealing.” She’d given you a long-winded speech about modesty and the importance of upholding the Cameron image. You were marrying into an exceptionally wealthy family, after all. You had to act like it.

But Wheezie? Wheezie was simply happy to have you there, to welcome you into her world. And slowly, you were beginning to imagine this as your new life. The thought didn’t seem so terrible when you pictured Wheezie as your sister.

It all came crashing down on you a few days after the incident with Rafe in the barn. You weren’t allowed to sleep in the same bed until you were officially married, Rose’s rule, but that didn’t keep Rafe from your bedroom in the middle of the night.

And when you woke, sore and spent, the weight of something unfamiliar pressed against your left hand.

A diamond.

Wheezie was fast asleep when you finally slipped out of her bedroom. In pink, fuzzy socks, you padded across the hallway towards Rafe’s room. You only knocked once before the door was opened and you were stepping inside.

In contrast to yours, Rafe’s room was dark and brooding with darker woods and deep navy walls. A sturdy mahogony desk perched in the corner next to a leather armchair. There were no dainty florals or soft touches. His bed, much larger than yours, had the sheets strewn about, a possible indication of sleepless nights or …other activities. A few forgotten whiskey glasses sat on in nightstand. The only source of light in the room was from the soft, yellow glow of his desk lamp.

It always felt intimate being in Rafe’s room, like you were completely in his world. Your gaze lifted, drawn to him as if by instinct. Shirtless, his toned chest and broad shoulders were carved in the dim light, his presence overwhelming in a way that sent a shiver through you.

“Turn around, darlin’.”

Innocently, you obeyed his command. You were only confused for a moment. You yelped, feeling the cool air against the back of your legs as Rafe slipped down your long, silk pajamas.

You should’ve known Rafe didn’t actually need to talk to you.

Lifting you by your waist, Rafe carried you over to the bed swiftly, leaving your bottoms behind. He always laid you down gently but the firmness of his grip left no room for discussion. He knew exactly where he wanted your body, what position he desired to have you in. You were starting to get used to his routine. He undressed you, placed you where he wanted, and it wasn’t long before he was inside of you.

Tonight, he wanted you on your stomach, your head resting at the edge of the bed. You didn’t dare look back at him, it always unsettled you more when you caught a glimpse of just how imposing he was. Instead, you kept your gaze forward, fixated on the shadows and darkness in the window. You felt the weight of his legs straddling yours, his hands kneading the soft flesh of your bottom before delivering a few sharp, deliberate slaps. A shiver ran through you as his fingers hooked into your panties, dragging them aside with ease, exposing you to him entirely.

He spit into his hand and you jumped again when you felt his fingers teasing your warm center. For an excruciatinly long time, he placed a strong hand on your upper back, keeping you pinned as he sunk his fingers inside of you. He had called it 'warming you up' the last time. His pace was slow, deliberate. You were biting down onto the comforter by the time his third digit pushed inside. Now, you could happily take two of his fingers. You’d like sex with Rafe much more if it simply involved two of his fingers pushing in an out of you. When he added that circling motion on your sensitive bud, you could reach that beautiful peak quickly. But the third finger was the closest thing he could use to prepare you for his size.

“I know, baby,” he murmured, his voice smooth yet firm, a response to your soft whimpers, “Relax. You make it worse when you’re so tense.”

“Sorry,” You rushed out before you bit down on your lip hard, “Rafe, um, can you…”

He pushed deeper and you reached out to grab the wooden bed frame in front of you, “Can I what, darlin’?”

“T-Touch me?” You asked, unsure, wincing as the feeling of being stretched, “Please.”

In response, he adjusted your hips, pulling them up from the bed, still three fingers deep inside of you, before he started to circle your clit with the thumb of his other hand. You took in rapid breaths as you adjusted to the sensation, the pleasure now beginning to mix in with the discomfort.

“Think you can come like this, baby?”

“Uh,” You pressed your face into the mattress, your words failing you, and soon all that was left were sobs.

“Try, baby,” You heard him say, “Squeeze my fingers.”

You had never considered that "down there" was a muscle—until Rafe. Obeying his command, you imagined yourself squeezing his fingers, and the response was immediate. Your body reacted instinctively, heightening your pleasure and pushing you toward release. It was overwhelming. Almost painful. But an orgasm nonetheless. Your first one with Rafe had taken you so much by surprise that Rafe had to cover your face with a pillow to keep you from waking up the entire house.

Tonight, you muffled your own screaming, pressing your face further into the blankets. He left you no time to recover. As soon as your body was more … accepting, he started to push himself inside of you. Panicked, you reached back to push at his hip, an attempt at requesting for him to slow his pace. He felt even larger in this position, and it didn’t take long to realize he was pressing against a barrier deep inside you.

You had to accommodate him. He was your future husband and you had be able to lie with him. He deserved pleasure too and how else would you be able to have kids one day? You wanted a family again, right?

One day, it would get easier. Rafe would make sure of it. He would help you, guide you, until your body learned to take him without resistance.

By the time Rafe reached his climax, you were a sweaty, tear-streaked mess. He had promised it would get easier, yet once again, you were left aching and sore. When he finally lifted his weight off you, your body remained frozen in place.

“Fuck,” he muttered, shifting to the other end of the bed. You heard the rustle of sheets as he settled in, his head hitting the pillow.

“Y/N?”

“Y-Yes?” you replied, your voice shaky.

“Go pee,” he ordered, his tone firm yet drowsy.

“Why?”

“Just go,” he repeated, exhaling sharply. “I’m fucking tired.”

It took every ounce of strength, but you pushed yourself up from the bed. You felt his eyes on you as you waddled to his bathroom door, still able to feel him inside of you, white stuff dripping down your thighs.

Inside, you flipped on the bathroom light, squinting as your eyes attempted to adjust. Your legs trembled as you lowered yourself onto the toilet. You heard Rafe shifting in bed, the sheets rustling as he got comfortable. He was already drifting off, unbothered, while you sat there, trying to collect yourself.

After a moment, you reached for some toilet paper, dabbing at the mess between your thighs. Your body still felt raw, stretched beyond what you thought possible. Flushing the toilet, you moved to the sink, cupping cold water in your hands and splashing it on your face.

You turned off the light and stepped back into the bedroom. Still glistening with a layer of sweat, he laid down with an arm over his face as he breathed steadily and quietly. You found your pajama bottoms sitting by the door and carefully put them back over your legs.

“Y/N?” You were reaching for the handle of his bedroom door and paused.

“Yeah?”

“Stay in here with me.”

“We’re not supposed to–”

“I’m a grown man and you’re my fucking fiance.”

He always spoke so sharply and in a way that left no room for arguing. Sometimes, that anger and frustration wasn’t directed at you but that didn’t make you immune from feeling it. The last thing you wanted was to cause any problem’s with his parents. They’d made it very clear that they expected the two of you to sleep separately until the wedding.

Slowly, you turned to face him. He was still sprawled across the bed, the sheets tangled around his waist, his bare chest rising and falling.

“Stay,” he repeated, softer this time, the demand still there.

Silently, you padded over to his bed again. He lifted the sheets and carefully, you climbed into the bed, beside him.

“There you go, darlin’” he murmured, his lips brushing against your temple as he tucked you beneath him, his weight pinning you into place. “Right where you belong.”

Seeing how much happier Juliet was at the Cameron ranch made you question why you didn’t feel the same as her.

Late afternoon sun bathed the Cameron state in warm gold as you rode beside Sarah Cameron. Juliet moved beneath you with ease, but every step sent a dull ache through your thighs. You winced, shifting slightly in the saddle in an attempt to ease the soreness.

Sarah, riding beside you on her white mare, caught it immediately, “You good?” She asked, concern on her face.

You nodded quickly, “Oh, I’m fine. I just haven’t rode in awhile.”

It hurt to even slide on your tight jeans that morning thanks to the bruising on your inner thighs and the soreness in your middle. You turned your head, watching as the barn got farther from your view. You and Sarah had left John B. and Rafe hunched over a work bench, repairing worn bridles and saddles.

Rafe had let you tag along for the day, surprising you both when you found Sarah already there with John B., leaning against a stall with her arms crossed. The moment she saw you, she swung effortlessly onto her horse, flashing you a grin. “Come on. Juliet is yours, right?,” she urged, nudging her mare forward. “Let’s leave the boys to their busy work."

You looked to Rafe for permission, of course, and took his rolled eyes and quick dismissal as a yes.

Now, she caught your quick glances back towards the barn, “My brother isn’t hurting you, is he?”

Her words took you by complete surprise. Your fingers tensed on Juliet’s reins, pulling too sharply, and for a moment, the mare tossed her head in protest, “Sorry, Julie,” You said, “Uhm, what? N-no. Why … why would you think that?”

She gave you a look that was hard to read and your horses continued alongside each other, “I’m sure you’ve gotten to know what he’s like,” She said, “Do you … think he’s a nice guy?”

“He’s…” You rushed to answer, wanting to reassure her, but the words got tangled in your head. “He’s nice to me,” you finally said, nodding like that would make it more true. “Sometimes he, like, talks really directly? In a way that… I don’t know, kinda hurts my feelings? But I know he doesn’t mean to be mean.”

“Huh,” Sarah took in your words, and you smiled, trying to ease the tension in the conversation, “He’s a lot for most people. To be honest, I don’t know if you’re what I pictured for the girl he’d finally settle down with.”

“Oh,” You said, trying to not to let the way your heart panged with hurt show on your face, “Yeah, maybe. I guess I’m not very strong… or the smartest person.”

Sarah’s eyes softened, her expression shifting from the guarded look she’d worn before. “Hey, that’s not what I meant. I didn’t mean it like that,” she said quickly, pulling her horse a little closer to yours. “I just... I know what it’s like to lose a parent. I know how confusing and lonely it is. And it might make you feel better to get wrapped up with Rafe but it’s also good to have your own life. Maybe your own friends?”

She searched your gaze and you felt your throat tighten and tears threatening to escape, “Wheezie’s my friend, at least.”

“Wheezie’s great,” Sarah said which made you smile sadly, “I have some friends. John B and I do. They live on the otherside of Kildare but I always try to meet up with them. They’re cool and they’re actually our age. I’d love to introduce you to them.”

Your heart gave a small, hesitant flutter. “That would be fun,” you said quietly, and for the first time in a while, you entertained the thought of something else, something new.

“Do you drink?” She asked after a moment of just enjoying the breeze and watching the tall, swaying grass.

“I have before,” You said feeling a little sheepish, “Just not enough to say I like it, I guess. Why?”

“When I go over there, we usually drink, watch a movie, play games, that kind of thing. It’s really fun. You don’t have to drink but I think you’ll like it.”

“Does Rafe know your friends?”

Sarah snorted, “Uh, yeah. He wouldn’t want to come with us. Don’t mention it to him yet, though, okay?”

“Oh, okay,” You agreed, “Sarah, do you think you could come next time I go dress shopping? Rose is a little…”

“Uptight,” She finished, “Yeah, sure. That would be fun.”

Your opinion of Sarah Cameron had shifted quickly and for the better.

“Like I said before, you’re moving too fast with her, Rafe.”

Rafe should’ve known that his father didn’t invite him to breakfast at the diner in town for father-son bonding time. Nor was it a business meeting. He would’ve preferred either over a lecture. He was stuck, unable to really raise his voice, due to the public setting which Ward knew undoubtedly. The diner was a small place, the kind of spot where everyone knew each other’s names and half the town seemed to gather before heading off to the fields or pastures.

It was when they got back into Ward’s SUV that Rafe could finally say what he felt. “This is micromanagement. You’re fucking micromanaging me, Dad! I did what you wanted and you’re upset because I’m not doing it exactly the way you want.”

Ward’s hands gripped the steering wheel so tight Rafe thought it might break. “I need you to get it through your thick skull that you don’t know everything, Rafe.”

“This is just Rose and her bullshit–”

“It’s disrespectful and you know that. We’re being woken up at all times of the night. Not to mention the girl is walking around with hickies and bruising. What’s that gonna look like to people in town? We took in that girl! People will think we’re using her. It’s not a good look.”

Ward started up the car and pulled away quickly, the tires kicking up dust as they left the quiet, small-town streets behind. Kildare was a ranching community, where everyone’s business was their business. Rafe couldn’t do anything without people noticing.

“None of this will matter after the wedding. I don’t know, Dad, I guess I just don’t give a shit anymore what other people think.”

“You won’t take over the business if that’s how you see things.”

“Dad–”

“And you won’t get the Ironwood house. We’ve talked about this endlessly,” Rafe’s fist hit the paneling of the car door and he squeezed his eyes tightly as the anger passed through him, radiating through him, warming his skin, “You get the house under the conditions that Rose and I set.”

“That house is mine. You know that Mom wanted it that way,” Rafe argued with clenched fists, “You don’t get to control that, Dad.” Rafe’s voice was sharp, raw, but there was a tremor beneath the surface. The Ironwood house had been promised to him, but Ward had always been the one to hold the strings, dangling that future in front of him like a carrot on a stick. “I earned that house. I’ve worked for it. You can’t just take it away.”

About twenty miles from the Cameron estate, nestled along a winding dirt road that cut through the sprawling countryside, sat the Ironwood house. The house wasn’t as grand as the Cameron estate it had a quiet but rugged charm. It had once belonged to a competitor before the Cameron family had purchased the land after his passing.

Ward’s grip on the steering wheel tightened, his knuckles pale in the dim light. “I’m not taking anything from you, Rafe. But if you want to go off and make mistakes, you know, like getting that girl pregnant just a few weeks after you met her or embarrassing our family, then there will be consequences.”

Rafe nodded his head though inside he was seething, “I got it, Dad,” Rafe rubbed his face in his hands, his jaw clenched tightly, “You win.”

You fucking win, Rafe thought, for now.

Oh, you were perfect for him. Rafe kept quiet throughout dinner that night but that was because he was intently watching you. The way you confidently wore that pink, gingham dress that was cut way too low, to the point that your breasts were practically spilling from it. When you caught Rafe glancing at you, you’d flash him a shy smile. Lips shining with gloss and sparkles, Rafe imagined smudging all your makeup.

He’d been working on training your hole to take him, he hadn’t considered training your mouth yet. You seemed more comfortable, making conversation with both Wheezie and Sarah. The way you carried yourself, effortlessly making them laugh, was different, more natural.

It would be good if you liked this family but Rafe couldn’t help that his mind wandered to the family he would make. His father's attempts to control him, especially in the bedroom, only made things worse. It triggered something deep within him. It was his god-given right as a man to fuck you in all the ways he wanted, with or without protection. You were his. That had been true ever since he put a ring on your left hand.

After dinner, Rafe pulled you upstairs into Ward’s office. It was reckless, he knew that, but he was clinging onto that sense of control.

“What are we doing in here?”

“I’m going to fuck you,” Rafe replied, his eyes tracking the shift in your expression as the realization hit. The fear in your face made him harder than he already was, and he had to undo his belt. “Go sit on the desk,” he instructed, gesturing to the large mahogany desk in the center of the room.

“But that’s your dad’s desk,” you hesitated, a frown tugging at your lips. “Isn’t that, like, weird?”

Rafe shot you a warning look, and without another word, you scrambled across the room toward his desk. He followed closely, closing the distance between you. “It’s your fault,” he muttered, his voice rough as he crossed the room too. “Look at what you're wearing. You’re practically begging to get fucked.”

“I wasn’t—” you started to protest.

“You were,” Rafe cut you off, his tone final. “You wore that dress for me, didn’t you? Or were you looking for attention from someone else?”

“I wasn’t—”

“You weren’t what?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous.

Rafe loved the panic he saw in your eyes, the way the few thoughts you could hold in your head seemed to swirl, struggling to make sense of what was happening.

“I …I didn’t wear it for anyone else.”

“You wore it for me, then.”

“It was for you,” You spoke in a hesitant whisper. Your head tilted, and Rafe could see the uncertainty in your eyes. Still, the words sent a rush of heat through him. Rafe lifted you up by your hips, placing you on the desk, right on top of manila folders and Ward’s important paperwork.

"Good girl, baby," he murmured, his hand finding the hem of your dress, lifting it. "Now, don’t act like you don’t want this."

“Rafe, I’m still sore,” You said as Rafe slid your panties down your thigh.

“I’ll be quick,” Rafe assured you, “I’ve been halfway there since you walked in the dining room earlier.”

It wasn’t that Rafe didn’t understand the toll that he took on your body. He cared, he certainly didn’t want to break you, but he also knew that you could handle more than you could wrap your mind around. Maybe, he was a bit selfish and enjoyed the sight of him slowly fucking you, his huge girth sliding in and out of you, stretching you to the point of sobbing.

He wanted you to feel empty without him. He wanted you to become so used to him that another man or even your own tiny fingers couldn’t satisfy your needs.

“Relax,” Rafe said, watching the ways your eyes darted between his blue ones and then back down to his length, “You’re okay, darlin’.”

Rafe pushed your shoulders down until your elbows were propped up against the desk before he grabbed your legs, tilting your hips up. He spit directly against your hole before spitting into his palm, coating his hard length with his own saliva.

He watched the way your face scrunched in pain as he started to push inside of you. Like he taught you before, you started to take deep breaths in and out, “Good girl, just like I taught you. You’re okay,” Rafe cooed as you squeezed him tight.

Those deep breaths quickly became shallow ones as he stretched you. “I can’t, I can’t, it’s too big–” You spoke suddenly, shaking your head, “I’m sorry, please. Please, Rafe.”

“Baby, it’s okay-”

“Please, please, please. Please. Please. Not okay. Not okay. I can’t, I can’t.”

Rafe surprised even himself when he paused. The look on your face reminded him of the time in the car, the first day you met. It was hard to watch. He’d pushed you too far, you were starting to have a panic attack. His chest tightened as he pulled back, his mind scrambling. He tucked himself back into his briefs. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Slowly, he reached for your shoulder, lifting it carefully to help you sit up.

“Shit, we can stop, okay?” Rafe said in a voice he didn’t recognize, “Fuck, you need to breathe, Y/N.”

He pulled you closer, letting your head rest on his chest, as you tried to control your hiccups and heavy breathing. Listening to it made his own breath feel tight in his lungs. Stroking your back, he tried to quell the storm inside of you. Rafe’s heart pounded in his chest as he held you close, the guilt gnawing at him, “Jesus …I’m sorry, baby.”

reblog WITH a comment about the chapter to be added to the taglist :)

#rafe cameron #outer banks #dark fic #black!reader #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x black!reader #outer banks smut #obx #rafe smut #rafe x reader #sarah cameron

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luv-lock · 23 hours ago

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ㅤֹㅤ⊹ㅤ #ㅤSTALKERㅤ.ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

☆⁠ PAIRING : Dick Grayson x Fem Reader

☆⁠ HEADCANON : How it's like having him as your stalker?

☆⁠ NOTES : English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!

You never noticed him at first.

Which was strange, really. Because Dick was a presence—magnetic, charming, always the kind of guy who could steal attention in any room, even when he wasn’t trying.

But with you? He liked to stay hidden. Lurking in the shadows. Watching.

At first, it was innocent (or so he told himself). He noticed you at a coffee shop one day, lost in a book, chewing on the end of your pen as you scribbled something in a notebook. He found himself drawn to the little things—the way you furrowed your brows when concentrating, the way you smiled at something on your phone, the soft way you carried yourself. It was just curiosity at first. That’s all.

Then he saw you again. And again. And suddenly, he was seeing you everywhere.

It became a habit, a compulsion. He memorized your routine like it was a mission. When you got coffee. What time you left work. What stores you liked to browse in. He told himself he was just making sure you were safe—because Gotham was dangerous, right? A girl like you, alone? Vulnerable? It only made sense that he’d keep an eye on you.

Then he got closer.

It started small. Brushing past you on the subway, close enough to inhale the scent of your shampoo. Sitting near you in a cafe, pretending to be busy on his phone while he listened to the way you spoke. Learning your favorite drink, so he could leave it waiting for you at the counter when you arrived—anonymously, of course. You’d glance around, confused, but never knew it was him.

You weren’t even aware that he was already in your apartment.

Not when you were there, of course—he’d never scare you like that. But while you were out? He’d slip inside with an ease that almost disappointed him (you really needed better locks). He never took anything—he just… looked. Examined the little pieces of your life. The books stacked beside your bed. The jewelry you left on the dresser. The clothes draped over the chair, still carrying the ghost of your body’s warmth.

He touched them sometimes. Ran his fingers over the fabric. Just to feel close to you.

The obsession grew.

He started taking things—small things, things you wouldn’t notice were gone. A hair tie. A receipt you left on the counter. A half-used tube of lip balm. They were trophies, proof that he was part of your world even if you didn’t know it yet.

And the pictures. Oh, the pictures.

They covered his walls. You smiling. You asleep on the bus, head tucked against the window. You looking at a menu, deep in thought. Hundreds of them, from every angle, every moment of your life he could capture without you noticing.

And the best part?

You liked him.

You had no idea, of course, but Dick could see it. The way you glanced at him when he finally started talking to you, when he finally made himself known in your life. It was easy—he was charming, he was sweet, he was everything you’d want in a guy.

So he inserted himself into your life, seamlessly.

“Oh, hey, fancy seeing you here!” A bright smile. A friendly laugh. “What a coincidence, huh?”

It wasn’t a coincidence.

It was orchestrated, down to the second. Every “random” encounter, every meeting—it was all planned, deliberate. But you didn’t question it. Why would you? He was Dick Grayson. A gentleman. A hero.

You never realized the full weight of his devotion.

Never realized how deep it ran.

Never realized how much worse it could get.

Because the thought of losing you? The thought of someone else having you?

It made him sick.

It made him furious.

It made him violent.

You noticed the change after a while. The possessiveness in his touch, the way his grip lingered on your wrist, the way his blue eyes darkened when you so much as smiled at another man.

“I just don’t want you getting hurt,” he’d say, voice honey-sweet. “You’re too trusting, sweetheart. Not everyone has good intentions.”

Not like him.

So when your ex went missing, you didn’t think much of it.

When that guy at work—the one who flirted with you—got mugged and beaten within an inch of his life, you chalked it up to Gotham’s crime rate.

And when you started feeling like you were being watched, even in the safety of your own home—well.

Dick was always there to reassure you.

“It’s okay, babe,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your hair. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

And he meant it.

Even if that meant keeping you all to himself.

— MASTERLIST ☆

— © luv-lock. Don't copy, repost or translate any of my works here or any other websites ☆

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justaghostwithbones · 2 days ago

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This is so beautifully articulated. I alternate between sprinting forward to moonwalking back… sometimes years. Sometimes I take up residence in that bygone time, and wallow in trying to change it, while imaging I don’t know how that storyline tragically ends. Sometimes I sprint forward then; start building the blocks of the life that I want. I’ll get it partially built… and then… and then… and then… I’m back in the past again, somewhere else this time. Trying to prevent a different moral crime.

But for just about a month now, I’ve held still (with a moment or two of those springs to half-build things; though instead of running backward, I just pause). I’m learning to crawl. I’m building those skills.

(CW: death, grief, suicide, animal death)

Something I’ve learned, so painfully, through so many genuine tragedies—the death of my little family: first my husband of almost ten years… then the first dog we adopted together (and even the people who hate it when others compare human children to pets would fully vouch for the fact that I showed my guys more love and sacrificed more for them than many human parents of human kids), who died spontaneously in my arms from a condition that couldn’t be screened for. He didn’t suffer, it was fast. I wailed when I felt his last breath. I had never felt something die before and it rewrote some of my DNA. I never wanted to outlive my dogs, and I couldn’t believe I had to. I had these primal screams of rage at “God” for everything I had already lost, but my baby deserved peace from me, even if he wasn’t really “there” at the moment, so I swallowed my rage and I held him for over an hour. Talking about everything he was and everything he meant and all of the people he had inspired with his spunky personality as a rescued dog who had done some time in the streets. I pressed my forehead against the top of his head and health my breath, unable to accept he was gone. I listened to songs with his fuzzy, sweet body cradled close to me while I kissed his face.

His “big” brother, whom we adopted a year later than our first guy, but was triple his size deteriorated quickly, and after torturing myself with data and research, I looked into his eyes one day and knew that he was asking me for help. He’d been to veterinary specialists several times in the previous few months, but there was nothing any of them could do for him. It was just age. He was a large breed dog who was at least 14. They kept telling me I couldn’t have done more. I knew the only help I could give him was to let him go. So I made an appointment and planned for him to pass peacefully under a tree my late-husband planted. I took him to the place where my husband and I got married. I gave him all of the carbs he wanted (once he got into the double digits, he felt he earned the right to snag food, and he never met a piece of bread he didn’t love). I took pictures of him against the backdrop of the Rocky Mountains in the summer. I slept on my husband’s side of the bed (because he slept in a raised bed my husband built for him there), so I could pet him all night, every night I still had him. That gold-hearted guy ended up passing two days before this wonderful vet service was scheduled to come to my house… he still couldn’t fully let go, so they made an emergency visit, and he ultimately died in my arms on my late-husband’s side of the bed, after a couple hours of me laying with him and telling him stories and playing him songs and mapping out his irises like they would be my compass, because I had to no idea how to navigate life without his protective instincts. Because I didn’t know if my bones had another loss in them. I silently begged for his wisdom and felt so selfish for not being able to stop time and reverse biology and get more time with him. He loved my husband much more than he loved me, in the beginning, and there was some real poetic beauty in where he chose to let go—he didn’t get up on the bed regularly at that point; he hadn’t for years. But for a couple hours, I got to thank him out loud for everything that I could remember to say out loud. He licked tears off my face. His tail wagged when my mom arrived. I whispered to him until I felt his heart stop, and continued after.

In under 2.5 years, I lost my husband, my career, my health (I still am not allowed to work due to my disabilities), and my babies I’d “raised” for 12, and 11 years, respectively. And I haven’t moved forward. The only reason I’m still alive is that… those weren’t my only two babies. Months before my husband died, he fell in love with a puppy we stumbled upon unintentionally while picking up something from a pet store. We didn’t know there was an adoption event held that day. So just over 5 years ago, now, we adopted a puppy. By now, he’s a “legitimate” service dog (cardiac training), and my best friend and confidante. There have been so many nights where I’ve wanted to unsubscribe from earth but just look at him and know he couldn’t live without me. He is my tether to now, and he is how I’ve navigated losing close family relationships (I didn’t suffer the loss of my husband, career, and babies in a way that was palatable for some people. I didn’t do anything crazy, they admit. I just… cried too much. Wasn’t fun to be around. So they didn’t come around. Or call. Or text. I don’t have any real “social media,” so I wasn’t suffering in their face or anything. I just… wasn’t supposed to suffer at all, somehow). He is the reason I’m working so hard in therapy (and have been for nearly 4 years, but REALLY doing painful work for the past 4 months) in the hopes that I will start to want to wake up. That I will look forward to living. That I am determined to find a way to live and not just exist. That I can build a sustainable way to move forward.

But right now, I’m proud of myself for holding still, even when it hurts everywhere and I know all my internal escape routes, all of the ways I can distract myself, all of my hiding spots, all of the ways I can bleed to distract my brain from its selfish existential suffering. But I’m not using them. I’m just holding still, sometimes shakily, sometimes while holding my breath, sometimes through hours of silent tears running down my face.

It’s a kind of poetic irony that I found this person’s beautiful sentiment—that made my neurons start firing in a way that I could write about things I’ve never been able to speak aloud with any level of detail—on the eve of “spring forward” (though I, along with literally everyone else, hates the fact that we can’t stick to either daylight or standard time year round. It’s literally the only thing there’s true consensus about in the U.S.; sincerely); because that’s what I want to do. Maybe in March I’ll only be crawling, but it’s still forward motion. Because I know I won’t make it through 2025 if it’s like 2024. The world is getting worse and I have every excuse to do the same. The world is getting worse so I refuse to do the same. The world is getting worse so I am going to get better.Not perfect. Not perfectly. Tearfully, painfully, tragically, better. I’m going to keep the coffee dates adults pretend to make. I’m going to meet the neighbors I’ve lived near for 13 years. I’m going to learn how to exist among tragedy without feeling tragic. I’m going to learn to tell the stories of what I’ve lost with the aim of learning to gain things, not as an excuse for why I don’t ever even dare to want anything because I know so deeply the pain of loss. I want to grieve, but not be the physical embodiment of grief. I want to learn how to want things. I want to learn how to say that I want things. I want to learn what I like to do. I want to learn how to find joy and not just be busy.

I want.

how do you reconnect to life after being disconnected for so long

#SoundCloud

22K notes · View notes

wosospacegirl · 16 hours ago

Text

Matching stitches - Grace Clinton

Summary: Y/n can handle tough tackles and intense matches—but stitches? Absolutely not. After a head collision mid-match, the last person she expects to help her through it is Grace —her opponent.

Warnings: mentions of blood; hurt comfort; just a meet cute overall with a lot of found family and accidentally liking old pictures on ig hehe

Word count: 7k

MASTERLIST

The game was heated.

1-1 and both teams wanted to win.

Y/n didn’t see it coming.

She was close to the Manchester United goal, ready to assist either Alessia or Foxy. Leah had played a long ball to Y/n, who jumped as the ball got closer, ready to receive it.

As the ball came closer, Y/n felt the impact of a body against her, knocking her to the ground. She felt something sharp open her inner lip and hit her forehead.

She fell on the pitch, her back hitting the grass painfully. For a moment she couldn't breathe, her lungs aching from the impact.

“Fuck,” Y/n muttered.

The crowd fell silent.

Y/n could smell grass, blood and sweat. It was a mixture of smells that Y/n was used to, but at the moment it reeked.

Her whole body ached as if a knife were slicing through her lips and forehead. She tried to move her head, but that hurt too. She could not see who crushed her.

The Arsenal players came running as soon as Y/n’s hit the ground. A mix of familiar voices reached Y/n’s ear. They were all talking at the same time, but it was as if they made no sense, it was just a blend of words being thrown around.

“She’s fucking bleeding!” Y/n heard Leah’s voice. “Stop the game! Call someone!”

The referee hadn’t blown the whistle yet. Maybe they should because Y/n was not going to get up anytime soon.

Y/n felt lightheaded like she was going to pass out any time soon. She wanted to stay there on the pitch, the grass hugging her, even though it irritated her skin.

Okay maybe her brain wasn’t getting all the oxygen it needed. She felt dazed.

“There’s been a head clash here! Where are the bloody medics?”

Someone said Y/n wasn’t sure if it was Kim or Katie, maybe it was Jen. Oh no, Jen had retired a couple of seasons ago, hadn’t she? Wow, they really needed to get someone to help her out.

Her teammates, whether retired or not, sounded worried. Was it bad, maybe her injury was worse than she thought it was.

Y/n felt like she was dying, but her teammates usually just called her dramatic when she was tackled in a game.

Was she being dramatic right now?

She wasn’t sure. But she was tired though. And it hurt.

She wanted to rest. Maybe she should do that.

“No, don’t. Keep your eyes open,” Y/n felt the warmth of a hand holding hers, “They’re going to take you to the infirmary, okay?”

“Damn, she’s out.”

Was the last thing Y/n heard before everything went black.

“Y/n?”

Y/n forced herself to breathe. The air went in and out of her lungs, and her back didn’t hurt anymore, just the slight discomfort of being tackled and lying down on a hard surface.

Was she in a hospital? The bed she was in felt like a hospital bed. It was uncomfortable.

“Y/n, you need to open your eyes, I know you are awake,” the voice said again. It wasn’t familiar to Y/n, but it seemed to belong to an older woman.

Y/n tried to do what the woman asked her. She carefully opened one eye and then the other, but the lights in the room were too bright. She decided to close them.

Y/n didn’t remember exactly what happened. She was on the field playing, then someone crashed into her, and then she was out. She had a faint memory of Leah’s voice saying something to her as she was being carried off the pitch on a stretcher.

The first shock of pain hit her.

Y/n whimpered, bringing her hand to her lip and then to her forehead. Both places were wet and tender. Two very fresh bruises.

Medicine. Why hadn’t they given her some painkillers? If she was in a hospital, it must have been a bad one because she was in pain, her mouth tasted like iron.

Y/n tried to open her eyes again, the light was not as intense as before. She removed her hands from her face and looked at them, they were red.

Blood, fresh blood. She had been hurt and it hadn’t been long ago.

Why did it feel like days?

“Don’t look at it,” the older woman said, taking Y/n’s hands and cleaning them with a tissue.

“What hospital am I in?,” Y/n asked the woman.

“We're in the infirmary, the stadium’s infirmary,” another voice said beside Y/n. The voice was calm, not as energetic as the other women’s, and it was younger.

It was probably the person who had bumped into Y/n.

She was so disoriented that she hadn’t even noticed that someone else had been hurt as well. But if the pain on her face was any indication of how hard they had bumped into each other, the other player was probably in bad shape too.

She tried to turn her head around, but it hurt too much, so she just kept staring at the person in front of her.

Nurse Mary, the badge said. She had a kind, round face.

“Are you all right?” The younger voice said again.

Y/n tried to remember who the voice belonged to. She was being marked by Gabby George and Millie. T seconds before she was hit, but they were in front of her and the collision was caused by someone running to her side. So Y/n didn't see who it was.

Y/n turned her head to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of the girl, but the movement was too fast and nausea hit her stomach.

“Mary, I'm gonna throw up,” Y/n warned the nurse.

A few seconds later there was a bucket right next to her.

Y/n emptied her stomach. The vomit was mixed with blood from her new injuries and she just wanted to go home, put an ice pack on her face and pretend this day never happened, especially after throwing up in front of two strangers.

Nurse Mary patted Y/n’s back maternally. “It's okay, honey. You’ve got a concussion, it's normal to feel nauseous. Miss Grace here also had a concussion.”

Grace? Grace Clinton?

Great, she had puked in front of Grace Clinton. Not embarrassing at all.

Y/n had the vaguest recollection of seeing Grace in the tunnel as they walked to the pitch. She had her hair in a low bun and her shirt looked a size too big for her.

Grace was a midfielder for Man United, she was very young but very skilled. Y/n had never had the chance to talk to her before, but Leah had told her once that Grace was very calm on the pitch and that she should mark her, but not be too aggressive about it, as Grace herself had a chill style of play.

“You bumped heads during the game,” Mary continued. “It wasn’t too bad, so there was no need for an ambulance.”

Y/n felt like she had been hit by a whole bus, not just bumped heads. Clinton was strong, so it made sense that she was in so much pain from the collision.

“–But you Y/n got the worst of it, Grace’s teeth bit your inner lip open when you both fell,” Mary added.

Grace's teeth?

That explained why she felt like her lips were split open.

When Y/n opened her mouth to ask Grace if she was all right, a wet, cold cloth was pressed into her face.

“Ouch! Fuck, it hurts,” Y/n said angrily, but regret quickly struck her. She shouldn't be yelling at Mary.

“I-'m sorry, it just…”

“Hurts?” Mary finished the sentence for her.

“Yeah,” Y/n mumbled, accepting the cloth to her face, the coldness of it helping with the burning sensation and easing her pain. She stayed with the cloth for a few seconds before Mary took it away from her.

“You two sit nice and still, okay?” Mary said. “I need to get some supplies in the other room, but I’ll be back.”

“I’ll talk to your teammates, too, Y/n,” she said, turning to Y/n now. “They were quite a bit worried about you, especially the skipper.”

Before Y/n could reply Mary left.

She and Grace were alone in the small room, the smell of antiseptic and disinfectant filling Y/n’s nose. She hated it.

Y/n slowly sat up on the bed and finally looked at Grace, who was sitting on the bed next to her.

Her back was propped up against two pillows, she was still wearing her Manchester kit, stained with dirt and blood. Her hair was down around her shoulders, a few leaves of grass lying in between the strings.

Should Y/n tell her about the grass? Well, given Y/n’s situation, she wasn’t really in a position to judge. She hadn’t looked in the mirror yet, but she knew she was a mess.

Grace had a very soft, baby-like face, with delicate features, but right now she looked like she had come back from war. Her bottom lip was swollen, with a deep cut on it. Y/n couldn't see it properly because Grace was holding an ice pack against it, but from what she could see it was obvious that the girl’s lip was just also bruised.

“Your mouth–” Y/n said, pointing at Grace.

“Yeah, yours doesn't look too different either,” Grace said, removing the ice from her face. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay. I don’t remember how it happened.” Y/n admitted.

“Tooney made a high pass, I tried to get it with my head and I didn’t see you were close,” Grace said with a sad smile. “They say we bump heads but I pretty much bit your lip off, too”

“it hurts,” Y/n said in a low voice.

“I’m sorry.”

“It's okay. Are you okay?” Y/n asked.

“Yeah, I'm fine, but we’re gonna have to get stitches though,” Gracie said casually as she leaned back on her bed.

Stitches.

Great.

“I don’t think I’ll need stitches,” Y/n said, trying to sound stoic. She couldn’t freak out in front of Grace Clinton.

She was terrified of needles and anything that had to go into her skin. She didn’t even have any tattoos for that reason. Y/n was most definitely not going to get stitches, nonetheless here in the Man United infirmary. If it was in Arsenal’s infirmary might be cool about it.

“Well, I can barely understand what you’re saying because of how much your lip is so busted, so I think you are going to need stitches,” Grace said with an amused smile on her face. “She’ll put a numbing cream on it, you won’t feel a thing, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried.” Y/n lied, her trembling hands betraying her. She quickly tried to hide them by sitting on her hands, but then her feet began to move anxiously.

Grace looked Y/n up and down, an understanding smile on her face. “You don’t have to act tough, it’s okay.”

Y/n felt a rush of blood to her cheeks. “I’m not acting tough,” she muttered, looking down.

She was a grown woman with a fear of needles. She felt silly.

Mary came in, a box written with suture materials on her hand.

Y/n went pale. Maybe she was going to throw up again.

“Okay sweeties,” Mary said enthusiastically, as if she enjoyed sewing people up. “Good news first: I found the anaesthetic cream,” she held up the small tube up as a prize.

“And bad news: we’ve got to be quickly because Y/n’s bus is waiting for her to leave, so let’s get going!” Mary continued.

Good to know that Y/n hadn’t been completely abandoned by her teammates in the middle of Manchester.

“Y/n, let’s get you stitched up first, yeah?”

Y/n gulped and opened her mouth, but she froze and couldn’t say anything. She looked frightened at Mary terrified and then at Grace.

“I can go first, Mary,” Grace said, holding up her hand. “I don’t mind.”

“Okay, then,” Mary said.

The nurse took the suture kit and walked in Grace’s direction. Y/n couldn’t see what Mary was doing because her body was directly in front of Y/n. The girl could only hear the nurse open the cream, and then it was quiet.

Mary started stitching Grace up. Grace didn’t make a sound or move. Y/n was in awe, she just couldn’t believe that she was being switched up and not shaking all over.

In less than 10 minutes Grace’s stitches were done. They were just on her lips, in the same place where Y/n would get hers.

The stitches were small, they looked raw and swollen, but the scar would be tiny.

“Okay, you’re good to go, honey, just make sure you don’t carry any heavyweight until your bruise is completely healed.” Mary patted Grace on the back as the girl got up from the bed.

Mary turned to Y/n and pointed at her. “Now it’s your turn, lie down on the bed for me please.”

Y/n’s heart skipped a beat again.

Okay, she could do it. All she had to do was breathe in and out.

Y/n tried to breathe, but the air didn’t reach her lungs. Her hands started to tremble. She shook her head and put her hands in front of her body, not letting Mary get any closer.

“I don’t want to,” Y/n said, trying to get away from Mary. “I’ll get stitches when I get back to Arsenal.” She was most definitely not going to do that.

Mary looked at her like she was a child.

“And are you planning to sit on a 4-hour drive to London with blood dripping from your forehead and mouth?” Mary asked patronisingly. “Don’t be silly, there’s no way a player like you is afraid of a few stitches, now lie down, I haven’t got all the time in the world and neither have you.

Okay, Mary wasn’t so nice anymore.

If Y/n hadn’t just had a concussion, she’d swear she’d seen the slightest frown on Grace’s face.

Y/n was embarrassed. She was a professional player and she was afraid of stitches, blood and needles. Y/n’s worst nightmare wasn’t to tear her ACL, but to suffer some kind of laceration during the game. And right now her nightmare had come true.

Her brain was already planning an escape route. There was nothing in her contract that said she had to go through with medical procedures if she didn’t agree with them.

And yes, her teammates would not enjoy spending 4 hours on a bus with someone bleeding, but what could they do? Put her on a train and send her off to London on her own.

If she could just get Mary to look away for a second, maybe she could reach the door and…

Y/n felt a dip in the mattress by her side.

“You guys won, did you know it?” Grace said, smiling at Y/n. “Cooney-Cross scored, 2-1 to Arsenal.”

Y/n narrowed her eyes. “You’re trying to distract me, I know it.”

“I just want to talk, really,” Grace said relaxed as if the infirmary was her favourite place to make small talk. “

Mary put the numbing cream first on her forehead and then on her lips. It stung at first, but then she couldn’t feel her skin anymore, as if it was anaesthetized.

Y/n breathed in and out again, trying not to panic. She would get stitches and she would be fine.

She closed her eyes.

“Who-who assisted Kyra?” Y/n questioned. If Grace was being kind enough to help her, Y/n would cooperate as well.

Mary’s cold hand found her skin. She didn't know if she was getting the stitches yet. Maybe not feeling them was worse than feeling the pain, at least she could understand what was happening.

“That Fox girl, I think her name is Emily, right?” Grace said. “Is she American?”

“Uhum,” Y/n said.

Breathe in and out. She just had to pretend there weren’t any kind of needles near her face.

“Now I’m going to do your lips, just keep them closed, Y/n,” Mary said.

If she was working on Y/n’s lips then maybe she was done with her forehead? She didn’t feel any pain, so it was probably good.

“I’ve always wanted to visit America,” Grace said, more to herself since Y/n couldn’t answer her. “I saw that Arsenal played in Washington last season, I hope Man United can play there too, it would be fun to travel with the girls.”

Y/n smiled, thinking about the trip. It was really a nice change of scenery to play in America. The crowd was different, the weather was warmer. It was a good memory.

“Try not to smile now, honey,” Mary said. “I’m almost finished here.”

“We’ve got a game in France next week, it’s just a friendly against Lyon, but it’ll be nice to get away from England’s winter,” Grace continued. “Not that the weather in France is any better at this time of the year. But still, I would rather be cold and eat a good croissant.”

Y/n wanted to smile at Grace again but remembered Mary’s scolding.

“And we’re all done here!” Mary said, clapping her hands. “Now you’re both free to go, I’ll email each of your clubs what we’ve done so they can include it in your medical report.”

Y/n opened her eyes and was met with Grace’s face. She looked pretty, even with the stitches on.

“Thank you, Mary,” Y/n and Grace said in unison as they left the infirmary. They were met with a silent and empty corridor.

Manchester United Stadium was pretty and clean, but it was way too dark to see anything. The hallways were gloomy and Y/n wasn’t a fan of the dark.

“Thank you for what you did there,” Y/n said, looking up at Grace, she couldn't really see her face, but Y/n knew she was there by the subtle touch of their hands as they walked. “You didn't have to, you’re probably late now and–”

“I know I didn’t have to,” Grace said as they walked through the corridors. “I just wanted to do it.”

Y/n honestly didn’t know where she was, she was just following Grace, hoping that the girl knew her own team’s stadium better she did.

“But you were scared and it was my fault that you had to get stitches at the end of the day,” Grace continued. “Besides, it was nice talking to you.”

Y/n blushed slightly. “You still think that even after I threw up in front of you and almost had a panic attack because of some stitches?” Y/n said half-jokingly, feeling a small shiver as their hands touched again

“Well, I did cut your lip open with my teeth, so I’d say we’re even,” Grace joked, turning left into a hallway that was less dark than before.

“It’s a very physical game, it’s bound to happen,” Y/n said smiling. “You don’t have to apologise.”

They walked on until Y/n finally realised where she was. She was near the changing rooms for the away and home teams. Next to the changing room was the media room, where the players, but mainly the technical staff, answered questions from sports journalists.

There were a lot of voices coming from the media room, it looked busy.

Y/n took a quick look inside the room and saw both Arsenal and Man United managers answering questions.

She wasn’t as sneaky as she thought she was, though, because in a matter of seconds a girl with a badge that said ‘Media’ was standing in front of her and Grace, mobile phone in hand.

“Hi girls, I’m Tara, I work for the Barclays Women's Super League’s Instagram and I was wondering if I could get a picture of you two together?” The woman asked nicely. “The fans are worried about your injury, so it would be nice to give a little update.”

“Would it just be a picture? Or an interview? We can’t talk much because of our lips,” Grace said, pointing at Y/n’s mouth and then at herself. “We just got stitches.”

“Just a picture to put on the Instagram feed,” Tara explained professionally. “If that’s all right with you, guys?”

Grace and Y/n exchanged a look and then nodded to Tara, who smiled and asked them to stand in front of one of the lights in the hallway.

Grace took a step closer to Y/n and gently placed her hand on Y/n’s hip. They smiled as Grace made the peace sign with her hand.

Y/n missed Grace’s hand after she had taken it from her body. It was warm, she liked it.

“Okay, that’s great! Thanks, girls,” Tara said after looking at the picture on her phone. “I hope you make a full recovery”

Tara left, leaving Y/n and Grace alone.

“We should probably go before more journalists come, I don’t really feel like talking to them,” Grace said.

“Well, we actually can’t talk much, anyway.”

They walked until they reached a door with the words “Player’s car park” on it. Grace opened the door for Y/n and they were greeted by the Manchester night.

Y/n quickly spotted the Arsenal bus. She even forgot that her teammates were waiting for her, they must be tired of waiting. It was already late.

Y/n turned to Grace “Thanks again, for staying with me…and being so nice,”

Grace smiled, “You don’t have to thank me, it’s alright, I’m the one who should thank you, if it was any other player they’d be mad at me for the injury, it was reckless.”

“I don't think anyone could be mad at you,” Y/n said, looking into Grace’s green eyes

“Oh they could,” Grace joked, looking around the car park. “Sorry again for hurting you, I hope it heals soon”

“It will, I’ll take good care of it,” Y/n said.

“Good. I’ll see you around, yeah?” Grace said.

“Yeah, of course,” Y/n said, feeling warmth in her cheeks. Grace was pretty, very pretty.

“Bye them, have a safe trip,” Grace waved before walking to a car parked on the other side of the parking lot, Y/n assumed it was hers.

Y/n made her way to the Arsenal team bus, but when she opened the door all she could hear was her teammates yapping.

“I think I should go check on her,” Kim said worriedly. “She’s been there for an hour!”

“I already talked to the nurse, she said it would take some time to stitch her up, mate, be patient,” Leah said.

“And that’s why somebody should go with her, Y/n is scared of needles, how is she going to get stitched up alone?” Kim stated.

“Kim, mate, relax! You always fuss over us, Y/n's fine, I just spoke with the nurse.”

“Of course, I fuss over you guys, I’m the captain! And you, Leah,” Kim said pointing at the blonde, “should do the same, since you’re co-captain.”

Leah rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay, I’ll go! You’re talking as if I didn't stand by the infirmary door like a dog until the nurse kicked me out,” Leah muttered as she walked down the steps of the bus.

As she walked down she came face to face with Y/n.

“Oh look who’s here,” Leah said smiling, stopping in her tracks, she turned around and shouted, “Guys, she’s here!”

Leah took Y/n’s hand and the two girls walked into the bus. It was mostly dark, with an annoying smell of the peanuts Katie was always snacking on.

When the girl saw Y/n they all smiled at him.r

“Hey girl, how are you?” Alessia said, getting up from her seat to give Y/n a hug. “I was so scared when you fell there was so much blood on Grace's face! And the referee took forever to stop the game.”

Leah put a comforting hand on Y/n’s back. “You fainted, I thought they were going to call an ambulance. Don’t do that again, please”

“Do that again? You’re saying it like I wanted to get my forehead and lips cut open,” Y/n mumbled, waving and smiling at Kim.

“Leah and Kim were so angry,” Katie said from one of the last seats, “I think the only reason Leah didn’t scream at Grace was because she was hurt.”

“Of course, I wanted to scream! What was she thinking, jumping on you like that?” Leah said, her protective side showing as she squeezed Y/n’s shoulder a little harder. “She knows better than that. If it had happened at Camp, Sarina would’ve benched her on the spot.

“Come on Leah, you’d never forgive yourself if you shouted at Gracie girl,” Beth said, “she’s a sweetheart when we play for England.”

“Plus, I don’t think she saw Y/n, she wasn’t even looking at her side,” Kim said, “But let’s forget about Grace, how are those stitches? Did you panic?”

“Yeah I kind of did, but Grace talked me through it,” Y/n said, sitting down in her usual spot next to Alessia, the blonde wrapping her arms around her.

“That seems like grace, she is like the nicest person ever,” Alessia said. “And she gives great hugs too.”

“Okay, now you’re all making me feel bad for getting mad at her,” Leah said, rolling her eyes and sitting down in her seat a few rows away from Y/n.

“So y/n, tell me, do you think the game was mind-blowing or what?” Kyra said teasingly, sitting in the row right behind Y/n and Alessia, Steph by her side.”

“Too soon to be making puns about her bruise, you menace,” Steph said, playfully smacking Kyra on the head. “At least wait until it heals.”

The Arsenal team have been on the road to London for two hours. Everyone was asleep, some girls had their sleep masks on, and others were wrapped in blankets.

Everyone except Y/n.

The pain in her lip and forehead was bothering her and she didn’t have any painkillers she could take, she’d have to wait until she got home to take some ibuprofen. The pain was the main reason why Y/n was awake and playing games on her phone next to a very sleeping Alessia.

Y/n had set the screen brightness to the lowest possible, the bus was completely dark, which made her feel furtive in some sort of way.

She was halfway through with her Sudoku when she got a notification on her Instagram.

Barclays Women’s Super League tagged you on their post.

Y/n quickly clicked on it and in a matter of seconds, the picture of her and Grace appeared on her screen.

“A tough game, but both players are on the mend! ⚽” read the caption. There were an awful lot of comments on the post already. Maybe people were really worried about them.

The picture was cute.

Well, Grace looked cute. Y/n looked awful, her kit was completely dirty with grass, blood and mud, her hair was in a messy bun, and you could literally see the sweat on her neck. Gross.

Y/n’s stitches looked awful as well, they were very red, swollen and just raw.

Of course, Grace didn't look much different from Y/n, neither of them had had a chance to shower before the photo, but still, for some reason, Grace still looked pretty in her Manchester United kit.

Y/n stared at the picture, then the picture stared at her back.

She clicked on the post and saw Grace’s Instagram handle. She clicked on it and started scrolling through Grace’s profile, but not in I'm-obsessed-with-you way, more like a you-were-so-nice-i-want-to-get-to-know-you-better way.

Her Instagram was like any other player's. Lots of pictures of her on the pitch, in training, and at camp, but not much about her private life, unfortunately.

Y/n didn't know why she felt so creepy while scrolling through Grace’s Instagram, It wasn’t like it was wrong or weird, they just met and y/n wanted to know more about her… see if there were any hobbies she was interested in in in, what places had Grace had been, and stuff like that.

Grace seemed like a very nice person through the lens of Instagram. She seemed very dedicated to football, loyal to a few of her friends, and funny but also private.

Y/n wasn’t much different, she also didn’t like to post much about her life outside of football on social media. She and Grace had this in common.

Y/n went back to the picture of them together.

Maybe she should comment on it. Something casual, something funny, but not bold.

Stitch up buddies! she wrote, but then deleted.

God, that was so lame.

Matching tattoos are overrated, so we got matching stitches instead.

That was good. It was casual, it didn’t sound like she was flirting.

She hit send.

Then she dramatically put her hands in her face. “Bloody hell why did I do that?” she whispered to herself, but not loud enough for anyone to hear.

Would Grace think she was weird? She didn’t tag Grace on the comment, maybe the girl wouldn’t even see it and they’d just get on with their lives. Maybe she could delete it.

Y/n waited a few seconds before unlocking her phone again. She decided to finish her Sudoku, maybe it would help her fall asleep.

When she was almost done with a square her phone buzzed. She read the notification.

Grace Clinton replied to your comment.

Y/n’s heart dropped. She hesitated before opening the notification.

No one I’d rather get stitches with❤️

Y/n smiled as she read it, feeling like a giggling teenager with a secret crush.

Grace saw her comment and replied to it, and put a heart emoji next to it and it was a red heart emoji. Y/n stared at the comment for a few seconds before deciding she needed big help.

“Hey Less,” Y/n nudged Alessia, who was sleeping, face against the window, wrapped in an Arsenal hoodie. “I need your help.”

“Mm?”

Y/n place the phone on Alessia's barely awake face, she squinted her eyes because of the sudden light and pushed it away slightly, confused.

“What does a heart emoji mean?” Y/n asked,

“Huh?” Alessia said again, still sleepy.“What are you talking about?” She rubbed her eyes.

“A media girl took a picture of me and Grace after we got the stitches and they posted it, see here” Y/n showed Alessia the picture, but the girl still looked barely awake.

“Okay–?”

“So I commented on it, and Gracie replied to my comment!” Y/n did the same thing, showing Alessia the screen, but this time Alessia took the phone to read it herself.

“Oh,”

“Oh? What does "oh" mean?” Y/n said worriedly.

Alessia smiled at Y/n, a little grin on her face, something you didn’t normally see from Alessia. “Oh as in she used a red heart! That's good, oh.”?”

“Yes! That's what I thought, she could choose a blue one, right or even a yellow one?” Y/n said enthusiastically. “But do you feel like she picked it in a friendly way or…”

“What are you guys on about?” Kyra chimed in from the seat behind Y/n, just her face sticking out of the side of Y/n’s seat. “

“Y/n has a crush on Grace,” Alessia said in a low voice.

“I-What?! It’s not a crush, stop it,” Y/n denied, frowning. “It’s–I just think she’s cute, that’s all.”

“Oh wow, a crush, huh?” Kyra said, wiggling her eyebrows. “Are you star-crossed lovers? She bit a part of your lip and now she has a piece of your heart?”

Y/n rolled her eyes and pushed Kyra's face back into her row. “You’re so annoying, go back to your seat.”

“What are you going to do about that comment?” Alessia asked, ignoring the usual bickering between Kyra and Y/n.

“I don’t know. What do you think I should do, Less?” Y/n asked.

Alessia and Kyra were Y/n’s go-to girls for every problem she had, although she always leaned more towards Alessia when her problems involved other people.

“You should reply to it,” Kyra said, sticking her head back to Y/n’s row. “Drop a heart too, I dunno, but you can’t just leave it at that.”

“How do you even know what we are talking about? I haven’t even told you what she commented” Y/n turned to Kyra.

“I was eavesdropping,” Kyra admitted, “You guys were whisper-yelling.”

“No, we were not,” Y/n argued.

“Yes you were, you should be grateful that Kim sleeps with earplugs. Do you remember the last time we woke her up during a trip? She made Less cry.”

“She scares me sometimes,” Alessia said, looking into the void.

“Guys back to the real problem!” Y/n said, pointing at her phone. “Should I just like the comment and say anything? Or maybe I don't like it at all?”

“Can I take a look at it?” Kyra asked a pout on her face. “Please?”

“Yeah, of course, babe,” Y/n said, giving the phone to Kyra.

She was so bad at socialising and interacting with people in general, especially the ones she found attractive, like Grace.

She wasn’t even sure if Grace was into girls. Then again, she was a football player, so there was at least a 75 per cent chance—but still. Y/n bit her lip out of anxiety, but a sharp pain came, she forgot she had just got those damn stitches.

“Oh no,” Kyra whispered.

“What?” Y/n and Alessia turned their heads at the same time, not so much as whisper-yelling anymore.

“I liked one of her pictures,” Kyra admitted, talking fast “I’m so so sorry Y/n, I just disliked it back, but she’ll get the notification anyway.”

Y/n went pale. Fuck no.

“Kyra!” Y/n said, taking the phone out of her hands.

“Was it an old picture?” Alessia asked, biting her nails and looking from Kyra to Y/n. “Y/n don’t freak out, it’s okay.” She put a hand on Y/n's back and patted it.

“I think it was from 3 years ago,” Kyra said. “I just wanted to see her profile! I’m really sorry!”

“I’m gonna eat broken glass,” Y/n said. No expression on her face.

Alessia put her arm around Y/n. “It’s okay, maybe she won’t even notice, she must get a lot of notifications all the time, she probably won’t see yours.”

“Yeah! Especially after a game, people go crazy when we play,” Kyra said guiltily. “I’m really sorry, I didn't mean to.”

“It’s okay, Ky,” Y/n said, leaning into Alessia's shoulder as Kyra’s hand patted her arm.

“I guess I’ll just never play against Man United ever again,” Y/n continued, biting her nails. “It’s not like football is my only talent, I can quiet it. That’s a good option.

“When’s our next game against United anyway?” Alessia asked, ignoring Y/n ramblings.

“In two months,” Kyra replied. “But it’s just a friendly.”

“Just so you know I’ll have a serious case of period cramps by then. Y/n said. “Renée will have to bench me.”

Y/n was in distress. Now Grace was going to think she was some kind of weird stalker going through old pictures of her. She wanted to hide away in her bed and never come out into the world ever again.

Y/n’s phone buzzed again, unexpectedly.

The three girls held their breath.

“I can’t look at it,” Y/n said, giving her phone to Alessia and burying her face in her shirt. “You look at it.”

Alessia took the phone as Kyra moved her head to see the screen.

“Oh she definitely noticed you,” Alessia said teasingly. “She just followed you! Yay! ”

“What!?” Y/n said, taking her face out of her shirt. “She followed me?!”

“And liked your last post about helping stray animals,” Kyra said, holding the phone to her face.

Y/n felt disappointed. “Really?

“No, I'm kidding, she liked a selfie, and an old one too, from 2021,” Kyra smiled as she jabbed from Y/n playful punch. “Congrats, she likes you back,”

“Now Y/n, you have to say ‘Kyra thank you so much, your mistake was a blessing in disguise, I’m so lucky to have you as a frie–”

“Who likes you back?”

The three girls turned their heads.

Leah was staring at them, arms crossed, frown on her face, her pillow tucked under her arm. She looked tired.

“W-what?” the girls said in unison.

“Did we wake you up? Kyra said, trying to give Leah one of her sweet smiles, but the frown on Leah’s face continued.”We’re sorry,”

“Yes you did, you’re out here giggling like schoolgirls,” she muttered. “But it doesn’t matter, at least Kim is still asleep. If she woke up we’d have a problem.”

They all looked to their left where Kim was in a deep sleep.

“Last time she woke up–”

“Yeah, we remember,” The girls answered Leah again in unison.

“But back to the point,” Leah said. “Who likes you back?”

The bus was silent.

“Oh come on, it’s the least you can do after waking me up,” Leah said, crossing her arms. “You know I never pry on your life, just tell me this once.”

Y/n looked at Alessia, then at Kyra, waiting for them to come in and elaborate a straight-up lie so she wouldn’t have to admit to Leah that she had a crush on the girl who sent her to the infirmary just three hours ago.

“I think Grace Clinton is cute.” Y/n quickly and defensively, crossing her arm and imitating Leah.

Leah grinned. “Grace Clinton, huh? Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. Do you have something for a girl who draws you a little blood? “

“Stop it, Leah, don’t say it like that!” Y/n blushed. “I think she’s cute and kind…and I’m not embarrassed about it.”

“I mean… yeah? Why would you be embarrassed about it? ” Leah said with the i-don’t-really-care-that-much usual tone in her voice, " She is a nice girl.”

“Yeah, she is,” Y/n stated, a little defensive.

Ok, maybe she should let her guard down, neither Alessia nor Kyranorr Leah were judging her for her little crush.

“She just helped me calm down with the stitches,” Y/n explained. “And she’s pretty.

“You should just ask her out whenever we have a game around Manchester or London,” Leah said casually. “You could take her out to dinner, or to some coffee shop you like.”

“You say that as if it’s easy to just ask someone on a date,” Y/n said, rolling her eyes.

Leah looked at her confused. “Well, it is easy. You just have to ask them. If they say yes you go on the date and if they say no you just say ok and move on.”

“Things just work that way because you are Leah,” Y/n said, defeated. “I'm not like you, I'm not naturally charismatic or good with other people”

“I think you’re quite charming if that’s any consolation,” Kyra said, winking at her.

“It absolutely does not, Ky, but I appreciate you throwing me a pity bone,” Y/n said desolated.

Leah held out her hand, palm open. “Give me your phone–I’ll fix it in like ten seconds.”

“What, no!” Y/n said, holding her phone close to her chest, and protecting it.

“Why not? If you’re too scared I can ask her for you,” Leah rolled her eyes.

“I think you should do it,” Alessia said. “Or else you’ll regret not doing something about it,”

“Yeah, and you’ll whine about it every girl's night,” Kyra said. “Do it, come on.”

“What if she says no?” Y/n whined.

“Then you’ll get over it,” Leah said bluntly. “Haven’t you ever been rejected before?”

“No!” Y/n said. “I’m never the one who initiates anything.”

“Bloody hell, you’re hopeless.” Leah pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Leah!” Alessia said in a more stern voice. “Don’t say that, you have to encourage her.”

Leah held Y/n’s shoulder and leaned forward so they were the same height.

“You can’t be a coward forever,” Leah said, using her authoritative voice. “You need to woman up, are you a chicken or are you a girl?”

Y/n was silent for a few seconds.

“A girl,” she mumbled.

“Exactly, a girl, so let’s do it!”

Y/n thought about it and hesitantly handed her phone to Leah. “Don’t be too bold or too flirty or too Leah about it,”

Leah rolled her eyes but took the phone.

“Hey, Grace. Coffee next time we’re in Manchester or London?” Leah said aloud as she typed.

“No, that's too direct!” Y/n said

“Oh fine,” Leah huffed. “Hi, let me know if you’re ever around London, we could grab something to eat, xoxo.”

“I don't use xoxo.”

Leah looked at Y/n impatiently and clicked on the screen with more force than necessary, deleting the last part. “ok, no xoxo.” she huffed again.

Leah finished typing but didn’t hit send right away. She picked up the phone, teasing Y/n: “Are you going to do it, or should I?”

Y/n takes a deep breath, grabs the phone, and hits send herself—a small victory for her confidence.

“She’s gonna say yes, I can feel it,” Kyra says dramatically as Alessia hugged Y/n.

Y/n stared at her phone, her heart hammering against her ribs. She couldn’t take it back now. Well, she could, but that would be humiliating. The message was out there, sitting in Grace Clinton’s DMs, waiting to be read.

“See?” Leah smirked. “That wasn’t so hard.”

Y/n groaned and buried her face in her hoodie. “I’m never doing that again.”

“Oh, babe,” Kyra cooed, patting her head. “You’re gonna have to survive until she answers first.”

Y/n peeked at her phone screen one last time before locking it. Maybe getting stitches had been less painful than this.

Notes: Please like, share and let me know what you think! Feedback is important and makes me want to write even more. :D

Read more of my work here -> Masterlist

#woso fanfic #woso x reader #woso appreciation #woso community #grace clinton #grace clinton fanfic #women soccer

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ari-ana-bel-la · 1 day ago

Note

Omg i love your stories so much!

Can i make a request of Teen daughter of Charles of (do you remember that picture where Charles was standing on the side cause the fans were taking pictures with Alex? His face still makes me laugh) basically like that, maybe they are in Monza, and as we know Charles is the Ferrari prince, but the fans giving all the attencion (asking for pictures, pictures, yelling for her) while Charles stands on the side (all the drivers + wags are probally cackling at this kkk)

A Weekend to Remember

The sun was already shining brightly over the Autodromo Nazionale Monza as Charles guided the car through the bustling entrance, a familiar excitement buzzing in his chest. But this time, the nerves and anticipation weren’t just about the race. This year, his daughter, Yn, was sitting beside him, her eyes wide as she took in the chaos and beauty of the Italian Grand Prix.

"You okay?" Charles asked softly, stealing a glance at her while maneuvering through the crowds.

Yn turned to him, her face lighting up with a smile. "I still can't believe I'm here," she admitted, her voice full of excitement. "Mom almost didn’t let me come."

Charles chuckled, shaking his head. "I know, believe me. I had to beg for hours. Your mom worries too much."

"You do know you’re like, insanely famous here, right?" Yn teased, raising an eyebrow.

Charles sighed dramatically. "Ah, so you think I’m famous now, do you? I’m just doing my job."

Yn laughed, the sound bright and warm. "Come on, Dad. These people love you. It’s crazy."

As they pulled into the paddock entrance, the crowd’s energy was palpable. The sea of red—Ferrari caps, flags, and scarves—was impossible to miss. Even after years of driving, the love from the tifosi still amazed Charles. But today, all of it felt different. Better. Because his daughter was finally here with him.

When the car came to a stop, Charles exhaled slowly, glancing toward Yn again. "Ready?"

She nodded eagerly. "Let’s do this."

As soon as they stepped out of the car, the noise swelled. Fans cheered his name, waving banners with his face plastered across them. Charles instinctively placed a protective hand on Yn’s shoulder as they moved toward the entrance.

A group of fans rushed toward them, phones in hand. Charles smiled warmly, greeting them with the ease of someone who had done this a thousand times before. "One at a time, yeah?" he said, already posing for selfies.

Yn stepped to the side, watching with a mixture of awe and pride. It wasn’t the first time she had seen her dad in this environment, but seeing the fans’ adoration up close was something else entirely.

"You okay?" Charles asked between pictures, his green eyes checking in on her.

"I’m good," Yn assured him. "It’s just… wow, Dad. They really love you."

He laughed softly, squeezing her shoulder before turning back to the fans.

When they finally made their way toward the pit lane, the crowd seemed to grow louder. Charles kept Yn close, guiding her through the familiar chaos of Monza. But just as they approached the Ferrari garage, something unexpected happened.

A group of fans rushed toward them again—but this time, their attention wasn’t on Charles.

"Yn! Can we get a picture with you?" one of them called out, eyes sparkling with excitement.

Yn blinked, her brows furrowing in confusion. "Me?" she whispered, looking up at her dad.

Charles looked just as surprised, his mouth twitching in disbelief. "They’re asking for pictures with you," he murmured, almost to himself.

Another fan beamed at Yn. "Please? You’re amazing!"

Yn hesitated for a moment before glancing back at Charles. "Is it okay?"

Charles chuckled, still processing the situation. "Of course, if you want to."

She smiled and turned back to the fans, posing with them as they eagerly snapped selfies. Charles stepped back, folding his arms across his chest as he watched the scene unfold. His daughter—his little girl—was out here, posing for pictures like a natural.

"Unbelievable," he muttered under his breath.

"Problem, mate?" a familiar voice teased from behind him.

Charles turned to see Pierre approaching, a knowing grin on his face.

"Not a problem," Charles replied, though his expression gave away his confusion.

Pierre clapped a hand on his shoulder. "My goddaughter’s an icon. What did you expect? She’s got the charm—it runs in the family."

Charles rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the smile tugging at his lips. "She’s not even supposed to be the famous one," he mumbled.

Pierre laughed. "Good luck with that. I think the Tifosi just adopted her."

After Yn finished taking pictures, she skipped back to her dad, her face glowing with excitement. "Did you see that? They actually wanted pictures with me!"

Charles felt a familiar warmth spread through his chest—a mix of pride and nostalgia. For a moment, it was like she was little again, running toward him after spotting something exciting. He reached out, pulling her into a hug before he could stop himself.

"I’m proud of you," he said quietly, his voice filled with sincerity.

Yn tilted her head in confusion. "For what? I didn’t do anything."

Charles shook his head, hugging her a little tighter. "Just for being you."

She laughed softly, leaning into his embrace. "You’re such a softie, Dad."

"You’re going to give him a heart attack at this rate," Pierre teased from the side, clearly enjoying the show.

A few more drivers had gathered, and Charles could hear the quiet laughter behind him. Max smirked from a few steps away. "You okay, man? Need a minute?"

"I’m fine," Charles shot back, though the fondness in his voice was undeniable.

Carlos strolled up with a grin. "Your daughter is stealing your spotlight, mate. How does it feel?"

Charles just shook his head, chuckling under his breath. "I don’t mind. She deserves it."

Yn beamed up at her dad, squeezing his arm. "I still can’t believe I’m here. Thank you for convincing Mom."

Charles softened, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Anytime. I wanted to share this with you."

As they stood there—surrounded by the noise of Monza, the teasing of friends, and the love of the tifosi—Charles realized something. No matter how intense the race weekend got, this moment with Yn would be the one he’d hold onto.

And if the fans wanted to adopt his daughter as their newest icon… well, he couldn’t blame them.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♥︎♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Authors Note: Hey loves! I hope you enjoy reading this. My requests are always open for you.

-💙🦋

#f1 drivers as fathers #formula 1 #formula one #f1 x daughter!reader #f1 x female reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 x reader #charles leclerc x daughter!reader #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #dad!charles leclerc #leclerc!reader #pierre gasly x reader #carlos sainz x reader #max verstappen x reader #lando norris x reader

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rafes-slut · 2 days ago

Text

You send your best friend nudes on aciddent

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader (Best Friends)

Summary: you wanted ro send nudes to guy you were talking to and without even realizing you sended them to rafe. He shows up at your house and he fucks you pretty

Warnings:(Explicit sexual content (18+), Rough, raw, and unprotected sex, Best friends-to-lovers tension, Possessiveness/jealousy, Strong language, Slight dominance themes, Mentions of nudes/sexting, Brief edging/denial)

-------------------------------------------------------

Your house was too quiet. Too empty. The kind of silence that made you restless, forcing you to find something—anything—to keep yourself occupied.

You had already scrolled through every possible social media feed, tried binge-watching a show, and even considered taking a nap, but nothing seemed to cure the boredom eating at you. The guy you’d been talking to—the one you had a… thing with—hadn't texted you all day, and for some reason, that only annoyed you more.

With a sigh, you plopped onto your bed, staring at the ceiling before an idea popped into your head. A reckless, stupid idea. But an exciting one.

Grabbing your phone, you opened the camera app, biting your lip as you hesitated. Then, without thinking too hard about it, you started posing, taking pictures of yourself—fully naked.

The longer you did it, the more confident you became, experimenting with angles, capturing the way the dim lighting cast shadows over your skin. By the time you finished, you were beyond pleased with how good you looked.

Your finger hovered over the screen as you scrolled through the pictures, feeling the rush of power that came with it. Maybe if you sent them to him—the guy you’d been talking to—he’d finally give you the attention you deserved.

Without another thought, you selected a few of your best shots and hit send.

The moment was thrilling. You smirked to yourself, placing your phone aside as you basked in the satisfaction of it all. You left your phone unattended for a while, assuming he’d take his time responding, so you didn’t bother checking right away.

It wasn’t until an hour later, when you absentmindedly picked up your phone to see if he had replied, that your stomach dropped.

36 new messages.

But they weren’t from him.

They were from Rafe.

Your heart stopped. Your entire body froze as dread crept up your spine. Confusion clouded your mind until you clicked on his name, your blood running cold as you read the first message.

Rafe: Tell me you didn’t just send that to me.

Your breath hitched. Your pulse pounded in your ears as you scrolled.

Rafe: Are you serious right now?

Rafe: Fucking answer me.

Rafe: Jesus Christ, what the fuck?

Rafe: Are you out of your mind?

Panic overtook your senses as you finally understood what had happened. Your fingers shook as you scrolled up, only to confirm your worst nightmare.

You hadn’t sent those pictures to the guy you’d been talking to.

You had sent them to Rafe.

Your best friend.

The same Rafe who had seen you at your worst, who had been there through everything, who—until now—had never seen you like that.

You felt sick.

Rafe: I swear to fucking God, tell me that was a mistake.

Rafe: Are you ignoring me on purpose?

Rafe: Do you even realize what you just did?

You stared at the messages, paralyzed with horror, your mind racing with what to do. There was no taking it back. No pretending it never happened.

Your phone buzzed again, and another text popped up.

Rafe: I’m coming over.

Your stomach flipped.

Oh. Fuck.

You barely had time to process the messages before loud, impatient knocking shook your front door. Your heart jumped into your throat.

Shit.

Rafe was already here.

Panic surged through you as you scrambled off your bed. You weren’t even dressed—still completely bare from your little photoshoot. With no time to properly throw on clothes, you grabbed the first thing within reach—an oversized shirt that smelled faintly of cologne. Rafe’s cologne. It was probably his shirt, one he had left behind on one of the countless nights he crashed at your place.

You barely managed to pull it over your head, the hem brushing mid-thigh, before the knocking got louder.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

"Open the damn door."

His voice was sharp, edged with something you couldn’t quite place—urgency, frustration… something more.

Taking a deep breath, you smoothed out the shirt, schooling your expression into something nonchalant. Like you didn’t just send your best friend a full spread of naked pictures. Like you weren’t freaking the fuck out inside.

You swung the door open, greeting him with a bright, innocent smile. "Hey, Rafe."

His eyes flickered over you immediately, scanning your barely covered frame. His jaw clenched, nostrils flaring. "You’re fucking joking."

You tilted your head, feigning confusion. "About what?"

Rafe ran a hand through his hair, exhaling a sharp breath before stepping inside, shutting the door behind him with more force than necessary. "Don't do that. Don't act like you didn't just—" He stopped himself, his tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek as his eyes dragged down your body again, lingering on your bare legs.

You crossed your arms, biting back a smirk. "Didn't just what?"

His jaw ticked. "Send me those pictures."

You shrugged. "It was an accident."

His blue eyes snapped to yours, dark and dangerous. "An accident?" He took a step closer, forcing you back slightly. "Tell me, how exactly do you 'accidentally' send someone half a dozen nude pictures?"

You swallowed hard, nerves creeping up your spine, but you refused to back down. You weren’t about to let him see how flustered you were. "I meant to send them to someone else."

His expression darkened, something flickering behind his eyes at your words. His voice dropped, lower, rougher. "Yeah? Who?"

Your lips parted, but no words came out. You weren’t sure why, but suddenly, saying his name—the guy you’d been talking to—felt wrong. The way Rafe was looking at you, staring through you like he was barely holding himself together, made your stomach twist in a way you weren’t prepared for.

His fingers twitched at his side. "Who were they meant for?"

You hesitated. "It doesn’t matter."

"Like hell it doesn’t," Rafe snapped, stepping in again, this time leaving no space between you. Your breath hitched. You could feel the heat radiating off him, his chest barely brushing yours. His gaze flicked to your lips for a fraction of a second before locking onto your eyes again. "You were really about to send those to some other guy?"

Your mouth felt dry. You blinked up at him, struggling to find your voice. "It’s not a big deal—"

His laugh was humorless. "Not a big deal?" His fingers curled at his sides like he was physically restraining himself. "You seriously don’t get it, do you?"

"Get what?" You whispered.

Rafe exhaled sharply, his jaw clenched so tightly you swore he might break his teeth. Then, in one swift motion, he grabbed your chin between his fingers, tilting your head up to look at him. Your breath caught in your throat.

"Don’t ever send shit like that to another guy." His voice was low, dangerously soft. "Not when you have me."

Your heart stuttered. "Rafe—"

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath, shaking his head slightly like he was at war with himself. His grip on your chin tightened just enough to make you dizzy. "Do you have any idea what you just did to me?"

You swallowed, your skin buzzing under his touch. "I—"

"You think I didn’t like it?" He scoffed, his thumb brushing against your bottom lip. "You think I’m mad because I didn’t want to see you like that?"

Your stomach flipped.

He leaned in, his lips just barely grazing the shell of your ear as he whispered, "I’m mad because now I can't stop fucking thinking about it."

A sharp breath left your lungs.

His other hand trailed down, gripping the hem of your—his—shirt. His fingers brushed against your bare thigh, sending shivers up your spine.

"Tell me to stop," he murmured.

But you didn’t. You couldn’t.

The second you didn’t tell him to stop, Rafe took that as a green light.

Before you could process it, his hands gripped your waist, and in one swift motion, he lifted you off the floor. A startled gasp left your lips as he placed you on the nearest surface—the hallway counter—knocking over a few things in the process.

Your legs instinctively spread, your oversized shirt riding up your thighs, exposing just how bare you were beneath it.

Rafe wasn’t blind. He saw everything.

And fuck, he wasn’t about to pretend he didn’t notice how worked up you already were.

A dark smirk tugged at his lips as his hands slid up your thighs, fingers tracing your soft skin. "You didn’t even think about putting something on, huh?" His voice was low, teasing. "Almost like you wanted me to see you like this."

Heat crawled up your neck, but before you could snap back, his fingers were already moving.

Without hesitation, he slipped between your thighs, brushing against your slick heat. A breathy moan slipped past your lips as he ran two fingers through your folds, feeling just how wet you were for him.

"Shit," Rafe groaned under his breath. "Look at you."

Your head tilted back slightly, hands gripping the edge of the counter as he teased you, his fingers barely dipping into you before pulling away again. Your hips bucked slightly, chasing the friction, and he chuckled.

"Needy, huh?"

"Rafe—" Your voice was a quiet plea, but he wasn’t feeling merciful tonight.

He pushed two fingers inside you with ease, the stretch making you gasp. He wasted no time, his fingers curling just right, pressing against that spot that made your entire body shudder.

"That’s it, baby," he murmured, his free hand gripping your thigh, keeping you spread for him. "Fuck, you’re already squeezing me."

Your legs twitched, the pleasure overwhelming as he pumped his fingers inside you, slow but deliberate. His thumb found your clit, rubbing small, calculated circles that made you whimper.

"Bet you weren’t even thinking about that guy when you took those pictures," he taunted, his pace never faltering. "Bet you were thinking about me."

You didn’t answer, but your body betrayed you—the way you clenched around his fingers, the way your thighs trembled.

He leaned in, his lips ghosting over yours, but never closing the distance. "Say it," he murmured. "Tell me who you really wanted to send them to."

Your pride held on, but your body was already giving him the answer.

You didn’t answer his question. You couldn’t. Saying it out loud would mean admitting it—to him, to yourself. That you never meant for those pictures to go to anyone but him. That the only person you wanted to see you like this, touch you like this, was Rafe.

But your silence didn’t matter. Your body told him everything he needed to know.

You gasped, yanking his wrist, pulling his fingers out of you before you could tumble over the edge. Rafe’s brows furrowed, his fingers glistening in the dim light, but before he could question it, your hands found his waistband, tugging at his jeans.

He let out a low chuckle, but it was rough, almost breathless. "That desperate, huh?"

You ignored him, too focused on shoving his jeans down. The second they pooled around his ankles, you took a moment—your breath hitching as you took him in.

Fuck.

You already knew he was big, but seeing it—thick, hard, already leaking at the tip—had you swallowing hard.

Rafe didn’t give you time to think. He grabbed your hips, dragging you to the edge of the counter, spreading you wider. He didn’t bother with teasing or stretching you any further—he knew you could take it.

And you did.

The moment he pushed inside, a strangled moan left your lips, your hands flying to grip his shoulders.

"Shit," Rafe gritted, his fingers digging into your skin as he bottomed out in one sharp thrust.

It was rough. Raw. Deep.

He didn’t give you time to adjust—he pulled back just enough before slamming into you again, knocking the breath from your lungs. The counter rattled beneath you with every thrust, his grip bruising, his pace relentless.

"Look at you," he groaned, watching the way your body took him, how you clenched around him with every movement. "This is what you wanted, huh? Not him—me."

Your nails scraped down his back, a broken moan escaping as he angled his hips just right, hitting that spot that had you seeing stars.

"You feel that?" Rafe panted, his forehead pressing against yours. "This is mine. You're mine."

You couldn’t even argue.

Not when you were falling apart around him, your body trembling as you came, his name spilling from your lips like it was the only thing you knew.

And Rafe? He followed right after, burying himself deep, groaning your name as he spilled inside you, claiming you in every way possible.

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blxxmingrose · 1 day ago

Text

the pout never left sunny’s face as she waited for june’s reply, and hans felt like copying the look just to show june that he was seriously going to pull all the stops just to make him stay for another game night. but he knew sunny could pull off the look with her innocence, something he couldn’t muster up as he felt june’s hand on his back, a warm touch that sent him reeling.

it reminded him of how close they were last night, of how they had fallen asleep in each other’s arms, and that kiss. that kiss that was both surprising and expected—like it was only a matter of time before their lips found each other. he opened his mouth to speak, but with sunny around, he couldn’t exactly convince him that there’d be more of that if he stayed, could he?

instead, he gave him a knowing look, a secretive smile that held back what he wanted to say but gave so much away. “i think i’ve been persuasive enough,” he spoke with a quiet confidence as he poured oil onto a pan.

he looked busy with cooking, but half of his attention was on june, on how he shrugged his shoulders, how he glanced back at the living room as if he still had to make up his mind. “and i think you’ve already made up your mind,” hans added, grinning. “i mean, how could you not, when this food smells so good and sunny hasn’t even completely become the queen of uno yet?”

there was something so magical about how things seemed to have fallen into their rightful place to lead them here, one fateful afternoon leading to another and the conversations just flowing naturally. when hans looked at his daughter, who was making a mess of the vegetable peels, he couldn’t help but wonder if some angel had guided her to bring their paths together, to bring june here in their home to make it feel warmer, brighter. to make hans feel like there was no weight on his shoulders, and that he could have fun too.

he didn’t need to just work and send sunny to school and let the days pass. he had a life too, and now, he had someone he wanted to spend it with. with a shrug of his own, he spoke in a teasing tone, “if all else fails, i could still resort to sending you loads of pictures of sunny and me playing without you and being all so brokenhearted about it until you can't take it anymore.”

june let out a contented sigh as he leaned against the counter, watching hans work. the warmth of the kitchen, the rhythmic sound of chopping, and sunny’s playful grumbles about vegetables she refused to acknowledge made it easy to feel like this was just any other night. like this was something they had done a hundred times before, something they would do a hundred times more. and june— june let himself believe it.

he smirked at hans’ question, rolling his shoulders as if considering it. “convince me?” he echoed, pretending to mull it over. he glanced down at sunny, who was already perfecting a dramatic pout, her big eyes practically glistening with determination. he let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “i don’t know. you’re both pretty persuasive, but i’m not that easy to sway.” a lie.

because the truth was, june already knew he’d be sitting in the living room again, dealing another hand of cards, pretending to take losses just to watch sunny’s victorious grin spread across her face. he knew that no matter how much he claimed he wasn’t the type for game nights, he’d still end up right here, laughing at hans’ half-hearted attempts to keep up, listening to the teasing banter that made the whole evening feel alive. but it was fun to make hans work for it.

he pushed off the counter, stepping closer until he could rest a hand lightly against hans’ back, fingers pressing just enough to let him feel it through his shirt. “what else have you got?” he challenged, voice dipping just slightly, just enough to make it obvious he was enjoying this. “because i’ve got to say, the food is a strong argument, but i’m going to need a little more.”

he stepped back before he let the thought settle too deep, before it became something he couldn’t shake off. his hands found his way into his pockets, shoulders rolling in a lazy shrug. ”i’m kidding. you two are entertaining enough. i guess i wouldn’t mind another round sometime.” he conceded, glancing back toward the living room as if he were truly debating it.

though he already knew he’d be back. he already knew there was nowhere else he’d rather be.

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pearlcigs · 7 hours ago

Text

fwb!vi who held pride thinking she had seen all the panties you owned.

fwb!vi who was heartbroken when she found out that she hadn’t even scratched the surface. shock on her face when you explained you had certain ones you wore when you were alone, claiming vi didn’t need to see your “granny panties”.

fwb!vi who makes it her mission to ‘unlock’ all you panties like she was collecting pokémon cards or something. sneaking into your dorm to try and catch you off guard.

fwb!vi who gets all cocky each time she sees you’re wearing your so called “granny panties” knowing she’s just collected another for her score.

"these aren't even half bad." she snickers as she kisses up your thighs. her hands run over your underwear, pulling them off with ease. "how many more are you hiding from me?" she asks with a cocky grin. your breath hitches, knowing she was never going to let this go.

fwb!vi who has seen so many of your panties she's forgotten which ones she has and hasn't seen before. so she starts taking a picture every time before she tears them off and treats you how you deserve.

fwb!vi who eventually sees your entire collection of underwear. every single pair. and is absolutely filled with pride.

"and you said i wouldn't be able to do it." she rolled her eyes, fingers deep in your aching cunt. you can barely hear her, legs shaking with an intensity you've grown familiar with.

fwb!vi who finds it kind of boring now. don't get her wrong, the sex is great. but that excitement of wondering if she was gonna find a new pair of panties was missing. so what other choice did she have but to just buy you new panties?

"vi, why are we at victoria's secret?" you look at her with skepticism. she sported a smirk on her perfect lips. "get anything you want, babe. i'm buying." she reveals, enjoying the shock on your face. she could get used to this.

#⚙️ ⋆ arcane #vi #violet arcane #vi league of legends #vi smut #vi x reader #arcane x reader #arcane smut #arcane violet #arcane vi #arcane vi x reader #vi arcane #vi arcane x reader #vi arcane smut #lol smut

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folkwhoreberry · 1 day ago

Note

Can u make an Oscar x reader story where they’re childhood best friends and reader is like a famous singer or something and they’ve been hinting about their relationship but no one even knew they had a connection

This was super long 😭 sorry if u don’t understand

Steering Hearts

oscar piastri x reader

or... the one where you swear you’ll be moving on with his favourite athlete

word count : 1.7k

warning : reader wrote “good graces” by sabrina carpenter, english is not my first language!!!

on the radio : good graces by sabrina carpenter

🐨☘️

sweat dripped down your forehead, but you didn’t mind it, not even one bit.

with the microphone in your hand and the blinding flashes coming from the crowd, chanting your name and lyrics as you sang, how could you?

you stood in a line with your backup dancers, singing your hit song from your latest album, ‘good graces’.

“I’ll tell the world, you finish you chores prematurely,” you sang into the mic as you danced, “break my heart and I swear I’m moving on with your favourite athlete.” and that was the line that made the crowd scream. all because of a simple hand movement you did while singing - your free hand moving in circles imitating a steering wheel.

one simple hand movement - and the internet went crazy. because you wore an orange bodysuit while doing so. and lando norris and oscar piastri just so happened to be in the crowd.

an hour later the concert finally finished, you said your final thank yous to the crowd and crew before going backstage, where you were met with your manager and assistant, handing you a bottle of water and a towel to wipe of the sweat.

“you absolutely smashed it out there!” you manager praised you, a big smile on her lips as she patted your back.

you smiled and nodded and response, too out of breath to talk. you leaned against the nearest wall and kept drinking your water, until a familiar figure appeared in the corner of your eyes, along with another person trailing behind them.

“you did amazing, love!” oscar immediately said after coming close enough to you, his arms wrapping themselves around you without caring about the sweat covering you. “aw, thank you, osc.” you responded with a smile. “hey, it’s my nickname for him!” lando said from behind oscar, to which you rolled your eyes and clicked your tongue at.

“you’re tiring, aren’t you?” oscar whispered in your ear, making you hum in agreement. he chuckled, bringing one of his hands up to play with the ends of your hair. “so should we go back to the hotel?”

——————

the next morning was a mess on stan twitter. rumours of you dating the mclaren so-called ‘playboy’ lando norris were circulating all over the internet.

there were pictures of him and oscar going backstage after the show, videos of you smiling and waving to where the two boys were during the concert, sightings of the 25 year old filming you on his phone while you performed, and of course the orange outfit you wore that night, a colour that is often associated with mclaren, lando’s team.

——————

a week had passed since then, everyone somewhat calmed down from it, only sparking when lando was asked about it in interviews.

now, it was the morning of the australian grand prix - the first race of the 2025 season, and also oscar’s home race.

the paddock was full of excitement, reporters walking around with their cameramen and microphones, fans eager to meet their idols, and the drivers just trying to peacefully get from one place to another.

and there was you - walking through the paddock with you manager, just casually talking to her and occasionally turning to wave to a camera pointed at you pf take a picture with a fan.

“miss l/n, miss l/n! is it true that you’re dating lando norris?” one of the reporters asked you, pointing a microphone at you to hear your answer. you just smirked and snickered, ignoring g the question. “then why are you wearing a mclaren jacket?”

they weren’t wrong, you were wearing a mclaren branded jacket, white leather with their logo on the back, which you wore to support you boyfriend of course. you just kept on ignoring the cameras as you made your way to the mclaren garage, which luckily was the first one out of the rest of the teams. you walked inside, where you were met with oscar, who promised you he’ll meet you at the entrance.

“hey there, love. how was the drive here?” he asks you kindly, wrapping his arm around your waist and leading you further inside, to the front of the garage. “alright, not too much traffic.”

he hummed in response, leading you to the secluded spot he prepared for you in the back of the garage to watch the race.

“I gotta go get in the car now, darling. cheer for me, yeah?” oscar said with a smile, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head before he moved aside to take his gloves and helmet, walking to the front of the garage towards the track, where the national anthem will be played before the start of the race.

the race started just minutes later, and your heart was beating with each turn oscar took and each place he gained or lost.

after almost two hours the race ended, and you were happy that your boyfriend ended the race with no missing kind of any serious injuries, not even caring what place he finished in.

you watched oscar’s car roll into the pit lane and saw him climb out. you were glad he was safe, your heart finally settling after nearly two hours of tense turns and overtakes. the mclaren garage erupted in applause, but you stayed in your secluded spot, waiting for oscar to come over.

a few minutes later, you saw him approaching, wiping sweat off his forehead with a towel. his smile brightened the moment he spotted you, and you grinned back, leaning against the wall of the garage.

“how was that?” he asked, his voice still a little breathless from the race.

“you were incredible,” you said, stepping closer to him. “I swear my heart was in my throat the entire time.”

he chuckled, pulling you into a quick hug, the scent of sweat and fuel faint on his race suit. “you’re always so dramatic,” he teased, his lips brushing the top of your head.

“I think it’s justified,” you quipped, lightly smacking his chest. “especially after that last turn. I was ready to jump on the track and drag you off myself.”

oscar laughed, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “I’m just glad I didn’t give you another heart attack. next time, I’ll make it easier for you.”

you smiled, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before stepping back. “well, go do your interviews, mr. piastri. I’ll be waiting for you back here.”

“yeah, yeah, I know the drill,” he said, giving you a wink before heading off toward the media pen.

you found a spot near a screen in the garage to watch him and lando give their interviews. they stood side by side, casual as always, but you knew they were in for the usual bombardment of questions. sure enough, one interviewer didn’t waste time.

“lando, there’s been a lot of speculation about your relationship with a certain singer. any comment?”

lando smirked and shot oscar a sideways glance. “oh, we’re really doing this again?” he said, crossing his arms and pretending to think. “well, I can’t blame people for talking. she’s a fantastic performer, you know?”

oscar snorted beside him, shaking his head. “he’s full of it,” he added with a grin. “no relationship there, sorry to disappoint.”

they both shared a laugh, shrugging off the question as the interviewer quickly moved on to race-related topics. you had to bite back a smile as you watched the whole thing unfold. the internet was going to lose it - again.

——————

the next day, you had a concert in the same city, and once again, oscar and lando made an appearance. as the show started, the crowd was electric, and the energy only grew when you hit the chorus of your song, ‘good graces.’

“break my heart and I swear I’m moving on with your favourite athlete,” you sang, throwing in that same steering wheel motion you did at the last show. the screams from the audience were deafening, and you couldn’t help but grin at the chaos you’d created again.

you stole a glance toward the back of the venue, where you knew oscar and lando were. it was hard to miss them, even in the dim light of the concert hall. oscar had that proud, supportive look on his face that never failed to make your heart swell, while lando - well, lando was grinning like the mischievous devil he always was.

once the concert ended and the cheers died down, you headed backstage. it wasn’t long before oscar and lando followed, dodging a few cameras as they made their way through the halls.

“well, if it isn’t the star of the show,” oscar teased as he approached you, his smile lighting up his whole face.

“that’s me,” you said, still catching your breath from the performance. “did I live up to your high standards?”

“always,” he replied softly, stepping closer to pull you into his arms.

just as you leaned into him, you felt a flash of a camera, and before you could react, oscar’s lips were on yours. it was a quick kiss, nothing too showy, but the click of the camera and the flashing lights around you meant only one thing—the internet was about to go wild.

“oh great, here we go,” lando muttered from the side, raising an eyebrow at the photographers. “guess we’ll be dealing with questions about this tomorrow.”

you and oscar both laughed as you pulled apart, but deep down, you knew this was going to cause another storm online.

sure enough, overnight, the internet exploded with headlines, pictures of oscar kissing you backstage, and a new wave of speculation about your relationship. it was everywhere - your fans, his fans, random gossip accounts.

the next morning, after a quick talk with oscar, you decided it was time to put an end to the rumors once and for all. you posted a simple picture on your social media - one of you and oscar, arms wrapped around each other, lips interlocked, and of course a cheesy caption.

oscar did the same, posting a cute picture of the two of your from a random cozy night-in you had, paired with a caption you made him change three times because of how oscar-ish it was.

the response was instant - fans flooding the comments with excitement, support, and some playful teasing.

lando even chimed in, posting a candid picture of you he took with the caption “wrong papaya mate guys”.

you couldn’t help but laugh as you scrolled through the reactions. it was all out in the open now, and honestly? it felt pretty damn good.

————————————————————————————

a/n : took me so long to write it (two days lol) but oh my godddd am I a sucker for singer!reader it feeds the oc’s in my head

#folkwhoreberry #f1 #f1 x reader #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri x y/n #x reader

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bloodlinesgirly · 2 days ago

Text

Make up sex- Roman Reigns

18+ warnings: Cursing, unprotected sex, toxicity?, makeup sex, pnv, cunnilingus, no caps intended, pet names, daddy kink, slight breeding kink

A/N: it’s been so long i’m sorry, i haven’t had much interest in writing lately but im trying to get back into it!! sorry for any mistakes

word count:1240

“i’m not dealing with this right now” you roll your eyes, the scoff you let out just fueling him even more.

“yeah keep that shit up.” he steps were heavy as he paced the room. “ion know if you think you’re slick, but you’re not.” the pacing stopped and he scratched at his beard like he always did when he was mad.

“you won’t even tell me what i did roman.”

“you know damn well what you did. posted up like that on socials thinkin’ i wouldn’t see it” you groan as you think back on what he’s talking about. A picture he took of you on your trip last month. the floral pattern of the dress hugged your curves and dragged in the sand at your feet. the slit up to your hip was displayed as you posed. “that’s really what you’re all fucked up about? a picture?”

“did you really think it wouldn’t bother me?” his laugh was bitter. he took a few steps closer to you, frustration radiating off of him.

“considering you prance around half naked on tv every week, no i didn’t think a dress would bother you.” roman wasn’t the type to be insecure, he knew you were his and how you dressed/what you posted wasn’t his concern. it’s seeing the way people talked that had him pent up.

“it ain’t the dress.” he ran his hand over his face. “you knew what them comments would look like before you even posted it.”

“oh whatever” you roll your eyes.

It takes time for Roman to be sorry, but when he’s ready boy is it perfect.

“m’sorry baby, i should’ve just said something.” roman’s tongue lapped at your neck, trailing down your chest. His hands squeezed at your waist, ass, thighs, and pretty much everywhere else he could get them. he lives for how perfectly you fit against him, like you were made for him to touch.

“was that so hard?” you sigh, your fingers twirl in his hair as you savor his touch. Roman didn’t like to apologize, he never has. a quiet moan leaves your lips when he reaches your breast. quickly he pulls the cup of your bra down, swirling his tongue around your nipple.

“yeah, but it ain’t your fault you're pretty.” he placed a kiss on your cheek before moving to your lips. the kiss was messy, one hand making its way to your throat and applying a little pressure. his tongue invaded your mouth, clashing with your own. there was something pornagraphic about the way his saliva dripped down your chin and the string of it that connected your lips when he pulled away. his eyes burnt into your skin, lighting a fire in the path of his gaze. “go lay down for me, let me apologize the right way.” his eyes flickered towards the couch. without another word, you did what you were told. your thighs clenched together, looking for relief from the dull throb between them. Roman’s shirt was discarded as he stepped towards you. his abs flexed with each movement, you could feel the heat pooling in your belly from just the sight of him. He leaned down to place another sloppy kiss to your lips before dropping to his knees in front of you.

his fingers delicately find their place in the waist of your pants sending shivers through you. you lift your hips to help him get them down to your ankles. “spread those legs for me baby.” roman’s head dipped down to your waist, placing open mouth kisses to your lower belly. The wet spot on your panties was on full display as he ran his thumb over your clit. he wrapped his hand around your ankle, lifting it off the floor, leaving you spread open in front of him. “roman please” your hips stutter against his thumb, causing the pressure to increase. “please what mama?” he smirked against your inner thigh.

“you’re supposed to be apologizing, not teasing.” you glare down at him and he removes your panties, the breeze making you shiver. his tongue laps at your clit softly before he begins making out with your pussy. moving back and forth between your clit and your hole. “so good for me baby” he groans against you. you rock your hips against his face softly, moans escaping your lips. “more?” his eyes flick up to you. “mhmm- fuck roman”

his middle and ring fingers enter you with ease, stretching you open just how you liked it. “make me cum daddy” you moan and wrap his hair around your fingers. you can hear his growls muffled by the squelching of your wetness around his hand. you can feel yourself tightening around him, he sounds starved, like he’s never had anything better. with a few more flicks of his tongue you cum. he groans at the feel of your hands tugging at his hair combined with your juices dripping down his chin.

“you see what you do to me.” he says as he leans back on his heels. his abs are coated in a thin layer of sweat and his dick his fighting against the fabric of his pants. “y’know what to do baby c’mere” he tugs at your ankle a bit, signaling you to come down to him. you make your way to the floor, fingers immediately finding the button to his jeans and freeing his length. “take it how you want” his head lulls back when you take him into your hands.

you position yourself above him and rub his tip against your pussy. his precum adds to the slick already there. his hands find your waist as his eyes are glued to your actions below. “sshit” he speaks through his teeth as you sink down on him. “all the way baby you can take it” he groans. you place your feet on either side of him and slowly bounce your hips up and down. his grip on your waist tightens as he tries to guide you. “need you daddy” you whine as you rock yourself faster. you wrap your hands around his neck, bringing him closer to you. he adjusts his position allowing himself to thrust into you from below. his pace was fast but thoughtful, making sure he hit that spot that made you coat his cock every time.

“fuckkk roman” your hands searched for anywhere on his they could touch. you craved to be closer than you already were. his pace never let up as he kissed your lips. it was messy but fitting, your teeth clashed and your tongues fought. you could taste yourself on him. “gonna make me cum in this pussy” he growled against your lips. “you want me to fill you up baby?”

“yess- daddy please” your voice was broken and frantic. roman’s thrust got deeper, harder as he felt himself getting close. “fuck fuck fuck, yeah mama” he groans and rocks your hips to meet his thrust. you feel your insides warm up as his cum fills your pussy. you stay still for a moment, feeling it overflow and drip down him. he pulls out and watches it drip down your thighs. “such a pretty pussy baby” he groans, dragging a finger through your slit. “m’sorry for yelling mama” he places a hand on your cheek and pulls you against him. “you apologized just fine” you giggle and settle yourself into his embrace.

#bloodlinesgirly #wwe smut #roman reigns #wwe fanfiction #wwe x reader #wwe smackdown #roman reigns smut #roman reigns x reader #wwe raw #the tribal chief smut #bloodlinesmut #i still suck at tagging

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nosyrobin · 19 hours ago

Text

“Just a little guy…”

RACCOON!READER X slighty yandere? ROBINS!BATBOYS

Summary: a little rascal comes into in a bunch of boy’s lives.

There you are, hissing at some kids that are teens to pre teens. “Standing” on all four of your human limbs with your raccoon tail and ears perked up.

Apparently, the 14 year old Damian took you from the dumpster and showed you to the others who apparently screamed seeing a young hybrid of a human and raccoon.

You screamed back before scratching Damian. The brown skinned boy let you go as you ran around messing up the manor up.

Damian looked at the scratch in admiration. You scratched him but he took as you just showing affection as he rushed after you. “Come back!! I wanna pet you!” “Dames no!” Dick(17) yells as he rushes after his younger brother.

Tim(15) and Jason(16) look at each other before running off towards the other two and some crazed child.

Damian was giggling manically as dick was hot on his tail while praying that Alfred doesn’t come around the corner. You started to hop around as you ran into the kitchen and climbed the counter with a bit of effort.

“No! Get down you.. whatever you are!” Dick says yelling at you. You hiss as you swat with your sharp nail like claws. “Me no! Me rule!” You said in weird phrases. Damian bull rushed dick to fall on the ground as he puts his hand out. “Don’t worry about him. Come to me!”

You glare with your ears a little flat against your head. “No.”

Damian frowns as Tim and Jason come into the kitchen. “Yo! Get your stinky ass feet off the counter you homeless little shit!” Jason yells, pointing at you who hisses at him. Jason scrunches up his face and rolls his sleeves.

“Guess we’re doin' this the hard way.” Tim just pats Jason’s back as comfort. “Get em.” As this was going on, Dick finally gets up rubbing his head with a concerned expression. “Be careful, it may have rabies.”

You glare at those tan arms of Jason’s with small scars. You didn’t like how close he was getting to you. Damian was glaring at Jason, daring him to make the slightest aggression towards you.

Before you could jump off the counter and dash off, Jason grabbed you into his arms. “Gotcha!” “No! No! Unhand me! Hand off! Handsss!!!” You screeched as you try to claw at him. He used one arm to hold you down while his other was using his hands to cuff your wrists down.

“Phew..” dick says clutching his shirt as Tim could only take a picture of this. “This.. was an eventful afternoon.” Jason turns around smug, happy to hold you down. “Hah! And this little one thought it could just mess with us.” Damian scrunches his nose. “Hey! Be careful with them…” as Damian goes to walk towards you. Dick puts a stern hold onto his shoulder.

“Damian, you need to stop bringing in animals. YKNOW how dad is.” Damian rolls his eyes before crossing his hands. “That’s not an animal, that’s a potential friend in the making.” Dick and Damian look at you still going ape shit in the tanned teen’s arms.

“Yeah no, it looks like you kidnapped a furry kid from the streets.” Tim says as Damian glares at him. “Actually from a dumpster for your knowledge.” “That’s not better you demon.”

After calming you down, you were cleaned by Damian and given a big shirt from Jason. You sat on the couch eating crackers, kicking your feet back and forth. You smiled while munching on the delicious crackers with slight salt on it. The four boys look at you before looking at each other.

“We can’t just keep them here!” Dick says

“Why not!?” Damian exclaimed, gritting his teeth.

“Uh hello, they’re some random meta.. or whatever they are… plus dad wouldn’t let Damian keep another 'pet' unless he wants to be grounded.” Tim says as he stares at Damian then to dick.

“Right.” Jason says lastly.

As the four brothers turn to look at you, they can’t help but stare at how adorable you are. You lick your small hands with a small smile, rubbing your belly and looking at them as if you didn’t just want to claw their eyes out.

“…okay maybe we can keep them.” Dick says with soft eyes. You looked so cute with those soft chubby cheeks. Looking better without that much dirt on your face and that angry stare for the past minutes of chasing you.

“I call dibs on clothing them!” Damian says as Tim nudges him. “We’re not callin dib—”

“I call dibs on feeding them.” Jason says nonchalantly, putting his hands into his pockets. Tim looks at his older brother in shock as Jason just shrugs.

“What? The rascal is actually cute when it’s not trying to claw our eyes out.”

Tim sighs as dick could only chuckle. “I guess… i call dibs on their speech impediment…”

Dick pats Tim who is slightly flustered as he crosses his arms. “Then i suppose im the one that calls dibs on hiding them and having them in my room.” Dick says with a smile.

The other three erupted in yells.

“That’s not fair!! I found them first!”

“Just cause you’re the oldest doesn’t mean shit!”

“Over our dead bodies!”

You can guess who said who as you just wiggled off the couch and walked over to them. The big shirt making your walking a little wonky as you looked at the black haired boys and pull on the one with the fringe.

“M-Mo-more. More.” You said as you pulled his shirt and point to your mouth. Tim turns to look at you, for a second he felt an arrow hit through his heart before he picked you up and ran.

Seeing this, the other three boys stared flabbergasted before Damian yells pointing out.

“He’s getting away!!!!”

Jason smirks and runs, “First one to get them back lets them room with them!” He yells as he was on the go.

Dick and Damian were running as well.. and the chase was on.

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rafesbuzzcutseason · 6 hours ago

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chasing city lights

chapter 23 - desperation

synopsis: you move to new york to start fresh, hoping to find comfort in the city’s atmosphere. that’s when you meet sarah cameron, where she takes you to a concert and you catch sight of the lead band member, rafe cameron. it only takes a moment for you to realize you’re captivated by him. as sarah helps you navigate your new life in the city, you start to get pulled deeper into rafe's world—the music, the fame, the chaos. the more you get to know him, the more you realise that rafe is not just the rock star he seems to be. he’s wrestling with his own demons, and the last thing he needs is someone like you getting close.

masterlist

cw: language, mentions of alcohol

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"i thought it was you."

those words hung heavy in the air, like a slap to the face.

you blinked, trying to process what he had just said. “what?”

rafe exhaled shakily, his fingers twitching at his sides. “i- i was wasted, y/n. i could barely stand, top said i was mumbling your name all night and then when this girl came up to me, i thought-” his voice cracked, and he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “i didn't see her face, she just came up to me and pulled me in. i thought no one else would do that but you. i thought it was you."

you stared at him, your breath caught in your throat. “that's bullshit.”

rafe shook his head quickly. “it’s not. i swear to you, y/n, i wasn’t thinking. i wasn’t there.” his voice was desperate now, eyes glossy with unshed tears. “i closed my eyes, and in my head, it was you. it was always you.”

you sucked in a sharp breath, something inside you fracturing. “do you have any idea what it felt like?” your voice wavered, but you forced yourself to keep going. “to wake up, check my phone, and see you with someone else? to have everyone sending me that picture? you made me feel like i was so easy to let go of. like everything between us meant nothing."

he flinched, his whole body tensing.

“because that’s what it felt like, rafe.” your voice finally broke, and the tears spilled over before you could stop them. “you made me feel like i was worth nothing."

his face crumbled. “you're not nothing y/n. i hate myself for making you feel that way. i hate that you think that's how i see you."

you wiped your cheeks, shaking your head. "then how do you see me rafe?"

"i see you as my everything," he took a step closer, "i see you as the most beautiful girl that walks in any room. i see you as the girl who can cheer anyone up in seconds. i see you as the person who makes me a better version of myself. i see me only with you."

you avoided his gaze, not allowing him to see that he was getting to you, “i needed you. i needed you to fight for me, to show me that i wasn’t crazy for loving you.”

rafe took another step closer, eyes pleading. “you were never crazy for loving me.”

“i needed you." you choked out.

his face twisted in anguish. “i’m so fucking sorry.” his voice cracked, a tear slipped down his cheek. “tell me what to do. tell me how to fix this. i'll do anything.”

you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to will away the ache in your chest. but then you heard it—his voice, barely above a whisper.

“y/n… please don’t shut me out.”

you swallowed hard, nails digging into your palms.

he hurt you. he broke you. he let you walk away and didn’t come after you.

but he was here now.

and for the first time in weeks, you weren’t alone in this pain.

your resolve cracked, just a little.

“i don’t know how to do this without you.” his hands twitched at his sides like he was dying to reach for you.

you let him.

his fingers grazed yours, hesitant, like he was scared you’d pull away.

you should have.

but the moment his skin met yours, a shiver ran through you, and every wall you had spent weeks building started to crumble.

rafe’s breath hitched, his grip tightening just slightly, like he was afraid you’d disappear if he didn’t hold on. every touch more intimate than anything you'd experienced before.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered again, voice thick with emotion. “i’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you if that’s what it takes.”

your throat burned, the weight of everything pressing down on you. “i don’t know if I can trust you again,” you admitted, voice barely above a whisper.

he nodded, swallowing hard. “then let me earn it.”

you searched his eyes, and for the first time in a long time, you saw the rafe that was yours. the one who used to make you feel safe. the one who used to play the guitar and sing to you to help you sleep. the one who looked at you like you were the only thing keeping him breathing. the one you fell in love with.

you should walk away. you should tell him it’s too late.

but instead, you did the one thing you told yourself you wouldn’t do.

you let him pull you into his arms.

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a/n: sorry this one isn't much smau, but i worked really hard on the writing for this so i hope you guys don't mind

taglist: @hoefordrewstarkey @marleymarleymarleymarley @bee-43 @cherryhoneybabe @skye-44 @drewrry @drewrry @yesterdaysproblemm @dylsdaily @rafeysworldim19 @valyrianflower @kaiparkerwifes@judesgfirl@4urvalidation@chillgal135 @drewstarkeyslover@yesshewrites1@amterasuu@babykhloutofthisworld@blushmimi @moonywhisp3rs @rafeysworldim19 @marleymarleymarleymarley@sabrina-carpenter-stan-account@vcnillafairy@bambii1i @sammyrenae68 @kittenjujusblog @bambii1i @thesunflowersociety @wtfdudesblog @voidangxls @jjmaybankmylovee @munsoncultedits @emmiesummers @darlingstarkey @sassyvillaintrophy @pogueprincesa @stylestarkey @sodapopwaldor

#chasing city lights #smau #rafe cameron #obx #outer banks #obxsmau #boyfriend rafe #rafe cameron x reader

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borathae · 3 days ago

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Red Shirt | JJK x f.Reader

↳ Full Art

“Jungkook tries to sneak away after last night, unaware that you have been watching him all this time.”

Pairing: Jungkook x f.Reader

Genre: established relationship!AU, Morning After!AU, Magic!AU, Smut

Warnings: nudity, messy bodies after messy sex, Kook is a fucking flirt & tease, she takes pictures of him, allusions to: rough & passionate sex, pegging, breeding with fake cum, vaginal sex, creampies, marking & bruises, naked cuddling

Wordcount: 1k

a/n: patreon stresses me out so much omfg 😭 BUT here is another lil short story to one of my art ohohoh ❤ if you want to support me on patreon, i will love you forever (my dream is to one day only live off my art & writing jdsfjj)

“Come back to bed“, you say, sitting up to trail your boyfriend with your eyes as the latter hurries through the room.

“You know I want to, but I can’t”, Jungkook tells you and scans his eyes over the floor in search for his briefs.

He woke up earlier than you. The sun had barely passed the distant mountains and you hugged him to your chest when he did.

It is a regular thing that Jungkook wakes up in your arms as your little spoon. Jungkook doesn’t need to hold something as he sleeps, while you do. He doesn’t mind when you roll over in your sleep and pull him against your chest. He liked it this morning especially.

You were rough last night. Jungkook wanted you to. The wet, creamy reminder of it still oozed out of Jungkook as he sat up after waking up. It seeped deep into your rose-coloured satin sheets, joining all the other stains you and he painted last night. The once purple and pink marks on Jungkook’s body healed over night, but Jungkook still remembers all the spots they covered. It tingles when he brushes his fingers over them.

Jungkook liked waking up as your little spoon this morning. He liked feeling your bared, silken skin against his equally as bared skin. He liked the tickling swirls of breath dancing over the nape of his neck and he liked the sensation of your soft cunt against his ass. You and he didn’t clean up last night because you are both into feeling the sex on your skins the morning after, so Jungkook woke up to your messy cunt pressed against his sticky ass.

Jungkook liked it and he would have stayed in your arms if he didn’t have responsibilities today.

“Why can’t you stay? It’s too early to leave”, you bargain, missing his touch. The worst part about mornings with him, is when he has to leave and you have to make do with the solitude which once he filled. Just as you filled him last night. And then he did you. Fuck, last night was so messy and passionate.

Jungkook bends down to pick up his briefs, “I promised Yoongi to help with the Rippers. I can’t let him down”, he argues and straightens up. His torn apart briefs hang on his pointer finger in messy shreds.

You eye them and press your legs together. It smears the mess all over your thighs.

“Really?” Jungkook says with a chuckle on his lips, “couldn’t you have gone easy on them?”

“No.”

“You’re unbelievable”, Jungkook chuckles and shakes his head. “Ever since you learned how to use your magic to get stronger, you’re a maniac”, he says with fondness in his voice. He discards the torn briefs on the floor and snatches his jeans. He steps into them and pulls them up, stuffing his cock into them.

“So this is your best solution? No underwear?” you ask, lifting your right brow in question.

“I’m already late and running back to my wing takes too much time”, Jungkook says and turns to hurry to where you discarded his red button up. It was right after you pushed him into your bedroom and told him that you will have him arching his back later, which turned out to be true.

You drop into the sheets with a loud sigh, rubbing your hand over your own forehead.

“You aren’t making it easier for me when you leave like this.”

“I know. It’s not my preferred way either, but I’m late.”

“You know that I wasn’t speaking of uncomfortable pants”, you say as you laugh breathily.

Jungkook chuckles, “I’m aware.”

You sit up again. The sun is shining into your bedroom, illuminating your boyfriend’s fit stature temptingly well. Bright spots of lights cover his chest and parts of his sculpted abs, dark shadows blend into the colours and hide his tattoos in slight mystery. His jeans are still open enough to reveal his shaft and parts of his balls to your eyes. His dark hair hangs messily, matching in colour with his thick bush. You reach for your film camera and snap a picture as Jungkook is putting on his shirt.

The latter lifts his head at the sound of the shutter, watching you lower the camera again.

“For me”, you say, giving Jungkook a playful grin.

Jungkook lets out a fond scoff and closes his shirt, “you’re too obsessed with me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are”, Jungkook says and stuffs the shirt into his tight jeans.

“Even if I was, is that a problem?”

“Yeah, a little”, Jungkook says, closing the buttons of his jeans.

“Why?” you laugh as you ask the question.

“Because…” Jungkook closes the distance between you and him. He takes your face between his fingers and tilts your head up.

You moan softly, looking up at Jungkook with slight submission in your adoring eyes.

Jungkook traces your lips, “…it makes me wanna act up”, he rasps and kisses you.

You mewl, pulling him closer by a bundle of his red shirt. You arch your back, parting your lips so Jungkook could claim what will always be his’.

Jungkook, however, doesn’t deepen the kiss, breaking it with a gentle bite to your lower lip. It tingles.

“Kook…please…” you sigh, chasing him with an arch of your back and your thighs rubbing together.

“It’ll get late today. Try not to think of me too much”, Jungkook whispers and brushes his thumb over your parted lips. Seconds later he is gone, leaving you with nothing but stained sheets, ripped briefs and the memory of how it was to be buried in his willing ass.

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damneddamsy · 13 hours ago

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falling | joel miller x fem!oc (part vi)

summary: Joel's summer is the picture of ease. Until it isn't. It's really just a fuckload of hard work, patience and control.

a/n: hi! here you gooooo! i was kind of going through a really bad writer's block, overthinking a lot, and now here I am - through with this chapter and onto the next! one chapter at a time, everyone! we've got this :)

Summertime rolled into Jackson like a long, slow breath, and with it, the winter blues lifted.

The snow was long gone now, melted into the earth, feeding the rivers, softening the soil. The air had lost its bite, and traded it for something warmer, sweeter. The trees stretched their limbs, green and full, and the town itself seemed to breathe easier.

And Joel, for one, found himself wishing, just this once, that nothing would change. That the warmth would linger. That the sun would keep rising over the valley, spilling golden light across rooftops and filling every corner of his life with a feeling he hadn't let himself believe in for a long time—peace.

He had always loved the heat. He’d spent most of his life in it, the thick Texas sun pressing into his skin, soaking into his bones, of summers thick with cicada songs and the dry crackle of grass underfoot. Jackson didn't have the swelter—not as humid, not as relentless—but damn if he didn’t appreciate the way it felt against his back, the way it painted the world in gold.

And without realizing it, he had started marking the passage of time by more than just the shift in seasons.

By the little things.

By Maya’s laughter, louder and brighter than any sun, when he took her to walk through the first sparkle of fireflies in the front yard. How she had clung to his guiding, balancing fingers, her tiny feet stumbling over the grass, feathery curls bouncing, but she hadn't cared—too caught up in the golden flickers floating in the dusk. Her chubby hands reached out, fingers opening and closing in wonder, taking a tumble into the grass.

“Watch it now. C’mere, baby girl,” Joel had murmured, crouching beside her, cupping her tiny hands in his. “Gotta be real gentle. Or you'll smush the poor basta—bugs. Sorry.”

He had to watch his filthy mouth nowadays, she'd gone into the stage of babbling. You can imagine both their surprise when Maya's first words were, 'ma'. Maybe because he'd said it so much around her, praising her mama, calling her a 'mama's girl'. Yeah, that was on him.

Maya had blinked up at him, her dark eyes wide with understanding, before she turned her attention back to the soft glow drifting in front of her. This time, she didn’t grab. She just watched, waiting, patient.

And when a firefly landed—just for a moment—on her little palm, fluttering its wings, buzzing and blinking, she gasped so hard it turned into a giggle.

Joel chuckled, warmth spreading through his chest. “There you are. See that?” He brushed a kiss against her temple. “Takes a little patience, huh, sweetheart?”

Maya hummed in that distracted way of hers, but Joel barely noticed—because when he glanced toward the house, his breath caught.

Leela was watching them. She sat on the front lawn, cross-legged on a blanket, the faint glow of her old digital camera screen flickering in the dim light. Her hair had grown even longer, softer, strands of it slipping free from behind her ears, catching the wind.

She lifted the camera slowly, tilting her head, and framing the shot. The soft click of the shutter broke the hush of the evening, but she didn’t lower it right away.

It was all in the way she looked at him now that he understood, not like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but like she was starting to believe he wasn’t going anywhere.

And Joel—he was starting to believe it too.

It had taken him long enough. He’d spent decades convincing himself he didn’t deserve something like this. That he was meant for suffering, for loss, for violence. Maybe it had been true once. Maybe there had been no way out of it back then. He'd seen so much—more than any man should. He’d seen summer mornings with Sarah, bright and full of promise. He’d seen endless nights of blood and fire when he was nothing but a raider clawing his way through the world. He’d seen the ragged edges of humanity as he crossed state lines with Ellie and watched life fade in too many eyes. And for years, all he’d done was survive.

A survivor. A raider. A smuggler. A man who had lost too much, done too much. A father again, when he never thought he would be.

But somehow—all of that had led him here.

To a town in the mountains. To a big, white house across the street, he was trying like hell to keep from crumbling. To this woman who grew up in it, who somehow trusted his twisted instinct more than anyone in this town. To a little girl who reached for him when she was sleepy, whose laughter had rooted itself so deep in him he didn’t think he could tear it out if he tried.

Maybe now, now, he finally deserved it.

Sure, there were days when the work was hard. When patience ran thin, old aches settled deep in his bones. That was among the realizations he'd earned before he hit sixty: life was going to come at him hard, and he was going to face it with a fuckload of—

Hard work. Patience. Control.

Hard work had never scared him. He’d spent weeks on this patch of land, Leel's garden, breaking his back, kneeling in the dirt, coaxing life out of the frozen ground. Jackson’s winter had been particularly cruel, leaving the soil brittle and unforgiving. He had planted and re-planted, tested the earth, and tried again. It was the kind of work that made his knees ache, that left his hands raw and sore, but he’d be damned if he let this motherfucker win.

Then Leela had shown up, as she always did, just when he was about to curse this thing to hell.

"This shit's fucked, darlin'," he grunted to her, scowl deep and tools flying behind him. "Just get your food from the store like everyone else."

"You're giving up?" she asked, surprised.

He pointed an accusatory finger at her. "Don't push me, I'm done in as is."

She stood at the edge of the garden, arms crossed, head tilted as she considered his struggle with what could only be mild amusement. Then, without preamble, she pulled something out from behind her legs—a strange-looking contraption, cobbled from old scrap parts, with wires and tubes snaking out of a small metal canister.

"The hell is that?" he asked.

"Your saving grace," she said, adjusting a knob on the side, as if that explained everything. "Condenses moisture from the air and converts it into usable water for the plants. It’ll keep the soil hydrated."

Joel wiped the sweat from his brow, eyeing the thing like it might explode. "Christ, it looks like it's gonna—"

"Fix the garden before you throw your back out again." She set it down, adjusting the tubes. "You're welcome."

He huffed, shaking his head, but there was no bite in it. "Oh, you think you're hot shit."

Leela just laughed, kneeling down to secure the device in place. "Incredible, actually," she admitted, surveying her work. "I should show this to Maria. Work it out on a larger scale for the greenhouses."

Joel exhaled, resting his hands on his hips, grinning down at her. He watched her work, the way her fingers moved deftly, the way she wrinkled her nose in concentration. It was a look he was starting to recognize—the one she got when she let herself care about something. Always thinking about making it work. Always fixing things. How she made everything feel a little less impossible.

Less afraid, is what he would say. Like the walls she'd built around herself weren’t quite so thick anymore. That was mostly Maya, he figured. That baby had knocked the breath out of her, giving her that tangible reality to anchor to.

But some part of him wondered if it was him, too. Hoped, more like. He genuinely hoped.

Now patience... that was another thing entirely. It was never his strong suit. Not before. Not with himself, not with the world. And definitely not with this.

Maya was closing on eight months, and she still hadn’t started to attempt to crawl. Joel had tried. Hard. For weeks, he sat on the floor with her, scattered the toys just out of reach, and made an absolute fool of himself coaxing her forward.

"Come on, baby girl," he'd mutter to me, stretching his hands out, and tapping the mat in front of her. "You got this, honey, it's all in the knees."

Nothing. She’d just blink up at him with those big, brown, knowing eyes, then drop her gaze to something far more interesting—her own fingers, a loose thread on her overalls, the tiny fabric ear of the stuffed rabbit in her lap.

And when she finally did react, it was to lift her arms toward him, her little hands opening and closing, silently demanding to be picked up. No movement.

Joel would sigh, rubbing a hand down his face. "You ain't even tryin’, Maya."

She'd giggle at him, that noise that would've made his whole day if it weren't for the cruelty of the situation.

Leela, of course, found the whole thing funny. “She’ll get there eventually,” she’d say, watching from the couch, one leg tucked beneath her. "You're making it a bigger deal than it is."

But he wanted her to get there. He wanted to see her move, explore, and chase after things the way the other kids did. It would be nice to not go find her in her crib every day, just have her come to greet him at the door. Maybe it was stupid, maybe it didn’t matter in the long run, but Joel wasn’t great at waiting. He never had been.

And then, one day, Maya just—skipped the whole damn thing.

It wasn’t even some big, dramatic moment. There was no warning, no coaxing, no slow buildup. One second, she was on the ground, surrounded by her stuffed animals, gnawing on her own fingers like usual. And the next...

Joel caught movement in the corner of his eye as he lazed back on the couch one afternoon. He almost didn’t believe it at first. His breath stalled, brow furrowing as he lowered the magazine in his hands. The fuck?

Maya was standing. Standing.

Maya was on her feet by the coffee table. Teetering, swaying—somehow balancing, her fingers flexing like she was bracing herself. Her eyes were locked on him, her mouth rounded to that curious 'o', and he swore he saw it—something click into place in that clever, tiny brain of hers.

Then, she moved.

One wobbly foot forward. Then another.

Joel barely had time to push off the couch before she stumbled, catching herself in a squat, then rocking forward, lunging with a squeal—straight into his arms.

His hands came up automatically, steadying her, lifting her up before she could fall. And Jesus Christ, he could hardly breathe.

Maya just grinned at him, eyes bright, cheeks flushed. Her legs still twisted off-balance, still getting the hang of it.

Joel let out a stunned breath, then laughed—actually laughed, loud and bright, chest tight with something so big, so full, he thought he might burst.

"You’re my little miracle, baby. Did you just walk?"

He lifted her higher, pressing quick, tiny kisses to the side of her head, barely able to stop himself, overwhelmed with pride, with love. She squealed, giggling, her legs kicking, completely unbothered by the fact that she’d just broken every rule in the parenting books.

Joel kept her close, his nose brushing against her soft curls as he swayed a little, still trying to wrap his head around what had just happened. His fingers spanned across her tiny back, feeling the rapid, excited little breaths against his chest.

"Look at you," he murmured, pressing another kiss to her temple, softer this time. "My beautiful, brilliant, big girl."

Maya made a triumphant little noise, wriggling in his arms like she wanted down, but he wasn't ready to let go yet. Not yet.

"You really went and did that, huh?" he said, pulling her back just enough to look at her. Her dark eyes were wide and full of mischief, her grin open and still gummy. She lifted her hands, smacking them against his cheeks before babbling something that sounded almost like words.

Joel huffed a laugh, shaking his head. "Yeah, I’m real proud of you, too, sweetheart."

She beamed like she understood. Like she knew what she did was something big. And maybe it was nothing to her. Maybe it was just another thing she figured out, just another step forward.

But for Joel—it was everything.

He tightened his hold, pressing his forehead to hers for a second, just breathing her in. "Ain't nothing gonna stop you now."

Maya just giggled, happy as anything. Then—before he could stop her—she suddenly launched herself backwards, her trust in him so complete that it nearly took him out.

Joel’s heart stopped. "Jesus—alright, okay, I gotcha," he said, catching her easily, pulling her back upright. "Goddamn, baby girl, maybe let’s work up to that, huh?"

Maya, completely unbothered, laughed that wild, open-mouthed laugh like she thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

Joel groaned, shifting her in his arms. "Yeah, you think you're real funny, don't ya?" He pressed another kiss to her cheek. "Gonna be the death of me."

Maya just patted his chest, her tiny fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, tucking her head beneath his chin, already winding down.

She was Leela's, alright. That genius baby shit, it was all her mama. And patience had actually paid off for the first time in his life.

And when it came to control, that wasn't exactly an issue to him. He was a pro. Control was something Joel had spent a lifetime learning, but damn if it wasn’t tested now.

As summer in Jackson deepened, it was hot, the kind of heat that slowed people down, and sent them ducking into the shade, fanning themselves on porches. The days stretched long, the sky burning orange before it faded into dusky purple.

But Leela, she didn’t soften for anything.

She didn’t even seem to notice how the heat changed things, how it made people shed layers, roll up sleeves, and loosen collars. She was practical and efficient. And oblivious.

Which is why she had no fucking idea what she was doing to him.

It was the afternoon he walked past the garage and caught sight of her. The Maranello was parked inside, the hood lifted, and tools scattered across the workbench. And there she was, elbow-deep in the engine, wielding a turnscrew with the ease of someone who'd done this a hundred times.

And fuck him, but this was hell.

The top she wore had no back. Just thin straps tied at her neck and a bow at the arch of her spine, flimsy printed material clinging to her like it was barely there at all. Her cutoffs were—Christ, barely shorts. She'd obviously grown out of it. Joel was willing to bet there was more fabric in Ellie’s bandanas than what she had on. The denim rode high on her hips, long legs bare, glistening with sweat, sun-warmed and golden in the sunlight.

Joel immediately looked away, eyes darting to the street, checking to see if anyone else was getting an eyeful of her. No one. Dead end, of course. Thank fuck.

And then, just to twist the knife, she called him over. "Joel, can you give me a hand here please?"

Oh, yeah. He could.

He shouldn’t.

But he would.

No matter how much he told himself to walk away, to not look, to not think—he still found himself moving, closing the space between them, bracing for the next hit to his self-control.

"The wrench. Half inch," she asked, absentminded, like she had no idea he was about two seconds away from losing his shit.

Joel blindly reached for the nearest tool—only to realize at the last second that it was a screwdriver.

"Joel," she called again, her brows lifted. "I said wrench."

"Right." He grabbed the wrench and didn't think to check the size before forcing it into her palm, awkwardly clearing his throat. "There you go. Wrench."

She hummed her approval, adjusting her stance, bracing a foot on the frame of the car. And then—

She stretched. Sweet mercy. Gleaming arms raised, body lengthening, the hem of her top lifting just enough to show off the faint line carved down her stomach, the soft, impossible dip above her navel, all that adorable pregnancy belly he'd adored gradually yielded to whatever tormenting hell this was.

Joel swore his vision blurred for a second. It had been too fucking long since he's seen a girl like this, felt what it would do to a man. Especially a girl like her, fine as hell, smart as shit, belonged on a Hustler mag—she was light years out of his league.

The wrench nearly slipped from his fingers, a sharp metal clang against the side of the car.

Leela startled, lowering her arms. "What's wrong?"

Joel cleared his throat again. "Nothin'. The heat is all."

She blinked at him, then glanced at the wrench in his hand. "Are you sure you don't want to lie down for a bit?"

"Peachy," he muttered.

She frowned but let it go, turning back to the engine, her fingers deftly working over the machinery. Joel exhaled, trying—really trying—to shake it off, to focus on anything but the way her top barely clung to her frame, the way the sunlight played in the stray wisps of hair sticking to her temple.

He wasn’t sixteen. Wasn’t some green kid who didn’t know how to keep his damn head straight. But right now? His thoughts weren’t running straight at all. They twisted, turned, caught on little details—the smooth expanse of her back, the dark freckles, the faint curve of her stomach, the way her thick braid draped over one shoulder into the engine, shifting every time she moved.

And then—something else hit him.

She was comfortable. Relaxed.

She was here, standing out in the open, close to him, wearing whatever the hell she wanted, no fear, no hesitance. Sure, it shouldn’t have been a big deal. But it was.

Because he knew what she had been through, just a vestige of it. Knew how easily this could’ve gone another way, how some people never stepped outside without layers of fabric shielding them, without constantly looking over their shoulders. But Leela—she stood here in nothing but a thin top, cut-off denim, and skin kissed golden by the summer sun. Focused. Happy. Unapologetic. Free. Finally.

She had every reason to hide. To shrink herself down, to be small, to disappear. But she hadn’t. And fuck, if he wasn’t proud of her for that. He was goddamned pleased of who she was standing as in front of him today. A fighter.

"Joel?"

His head snapped up. "Yeah."

She was watching him now, eyes questioning, adjusting the strings at her neck. "Is it grease? Where?"

He blinked, needing a second to catch up. There was a smudge—dark against the honeyed warmth of her skin, just by her temple.

"Uh—just there," he muttered, reaching for a rag off the workbench and holding it out.

She took it, swiping at the spot. "Gone?"

Joel let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. He stepped closer, reaching out before he could think better of it, catching the stubborn smear near her jaw. He pressed the cloth there, slow and careful, his fingers grazing along the soft curve of her face.

Leela stilled. His hand lingered.

He could feel the warmth of her skin beneath his fingertips, the faint pulse of her breath. Those parted lips, chapped yet tempting. There wasn't a moment when he was alone that he wasn't thinking about this, why patience and control were just two skank bitches in his life right now.

He pulled back. Cleared his throat. "Gone now."

Leela smiled—soft, effortless, damn near dangerous. Joel exhaled, forcing his focus anywhere but her mouth. That mouth just waiting for his. He was really losing it.

"You uh," he waved vaguely at her, at the whole situation, "you like this kinda stuff?"

She glanced down, playing with the hem of her top, twisting the delicate crochet between her fingers. Then she nodded at him with a carefree smile. Like she really, really had no clue. It was fucking painful now, how she'd truly grown up like a babe in the woods, guileless.

"My mom made a bunch of these for me from an old blanket," she told him, proud. "They're the best."

Joel swallowed hard, rubbing at the back of his neck. Goddamn it. "Yeah. I like 'em, too."

Leela arched a brow, smirking now. "I think you can pull it off."

He narrowed his eyes. "Ha-ha, I forgot how to laugh."

Still grinning, she wiped her hands down on the towel, then reached up and shut the hood with a satisfying clang. She patted it twice, dusting off her palms. "So. Your early birthday present is finally done."

Joel squinted at her. "You're about too many months ahead. And you can't just gift me a damn convertible."

She tapped the hood again, stepping back with that quiet, smug satisfaction he was quickly learning to recognize. "Too late to complain, it's yours. You can take her out for a spin whenever you like. I'll give her a few years until we call it."

He dragged his gaze from her to the car, then back again. Jesus. She really was something else.

He nodded toward her, feeling braver today. "D'you come with the car?"

Leela just laughed, tossing the towel onto the workbench. "More of a solo experience, right? You, the accelerator, and the whole of Jackson."

Joel huffed, shaking his head. He wasn't so sure about that.

And it was nothing, really, this overarching thing between them. That was what he told himself sometimes. It wasn't something they talked about, and gone above board. No you're-mine-I'm-yours-bullshit. It didn't have a name. But they both knew what it was.

Some passing moments. A habit. A reflex. A touch. The first time, she flinched. The second time, she tensed. That was as far as his confidence around her got.

One evening, Leela was in the kitchen, standing at the counter, tying up a bag of flour. A smudge of it dusted the curve of her wrist, stark white against her skin.

Joel had walked in for something—what, he couldn’t even remember now, she just seemed to rob him of sense—but his hand found her shoulder as he passed behind her.

Light. Barely even pressure. Just a touch to let her know he was there, that he was moving past.

His fingers skimmed warm skin, the edge of the bow on that backless top of hers.

She turned, just slightly, just enough that she caught the tail end of his touch as it slipped away.

And this time, she just let it happen. Let him happen. The third time's the charm.

Joel paused. Not for long—just a breath, feeling that rigidness in his muscles, before he kept moving, kept the moment from stretching until she noticed.

It had been months. Months of patient, careful inches. Of her giving just enough room, him taking just enough to not make her pull away. He never let himself ask for more than what she was willing to give, and for a long time, that had been next to nothing.

But lately—lately, it had been more.

A guiding press at her back when they crossed paths in the hall. The little brush of his fingers at her wrist when he handed her Maya. The curve of her waist, the fleeting press of his palm there, when he reached around her in the kitchen. A cheer-up pat on her cheek or gentle ruffle of her hair if she'd been feeling down the whole day. A small goodbye kiss on her forehead before he left for his place, although that had been a fairly recent advancement.

The way she seemed to grow into his touches made him feel like he was finally getting somewhere, like seeing a wound healing from the inside out—gradual and raw.

He turned back to her and watched as she dusted the flour off her hands, fingers dragging down her pants. Her hair was a little messy, a few strands falling loose against her cheek, and she exhaled through her nose, eyes on the counter, murmuring, “Did you need something, Joel? You hungry?”

He blinked. He didn’t, not really. He’d come in here for—hell, he still couldn’t remember. A drink, maybe. Or to check on Maya, who was napping in the other room.

Instead, he was standing here like an idiot, happier than a pig in shit over something as simple as touching her shoulder. And she didn’t even notice.

He cleared his throat. “Nah,” he muttered, eyes flicking away. “Just… came to see you.”

Leela breathed a small laugh. “You're checking my kitchen skills now?”

He huffed, crossing his arms. “More like makin’ sure I don't end up poisoned. Not a great way to go.”

She gasped in mock offence, swiping a bit of flour from the counter and flicking it toward him. Joel stepped back, lips twitching, but not before a dusting of white landed on the front of his shirt.

“Real mature, darlin',” he muttered.

Leela’s smirk deepened, her eyes dragging slow over him, lingering on the flour-streaked fabric. Then, like she meant to do it, she reached out—just a little—and brushed the specks off with the tips of her fingers. Soft. Barely there. Suddenly too aware of the lightest pressure of her touch.

"I promise it's edible," she teased. Then she took a step back, patting her hands together like nothing had happened. "Pecan sandies?"

"Jesus, you're killin' me," he breathed.

Joel shook his head as he forced himself to shift on his feet, to look away, to do something before he forgot how to fucking breathe. He wasn’t gonna make this a thing. Wasn’t gonna linger and make her see whatever was sitting heavy in his chest. But the moment stuck with him anyway.

He didn’t play down the past few months when it came to Leela's maternity either. To how things had changed.

She was different now—maybe not in the big, obvious ways, but in the calm, careful ones. The ones that mattered. She didn’t move like she was bracing for impact anymore, didn’t hesitate before touching Maya, like she was afraid she’d do it wrong or stain her. She held her like she was hers, her greatest effort and creation, and somewhat in love.

She was actually there.

One evening, he came up the stairs after patrol, shoulders aching, boots heavy against the old wood. He was expecting the usual—Maya fussing, Leela humming under her breath as she rocked her warily, quiet and restrained.

But when he reached the nursery, he paused in the doorway. And he listened.

Because, this time, Leela was talking to her daughter. Soft and pensive, her voice weaving through the dim glow of the room, smoothing over the walls like a balm.

Joel leaned against the frame, arms crossing over his chest, and just took it in.

She was sitting on the floor, legs crossed, back against the crib, holding Maya close. Her little fingers were curled into the fabric of her mother's top, dark curls sticking to her forehead.

Leela didn’t even notice him there.

“...I’m from,” he heard her halfway murmur, her thumb brushing absently along Maya’s back, “we had this beach.”

He’d never heard her talk about where she was from before. It was like he was piecing together a puzzle, filling in the blanks she’d never given him before.

“I don’t remember much,” she continued, almost to herself. “I was too young. But I remember the water. The smell of it. How the sand stuck to my skin. The tiny crabs.”

Maya yawned, pressing her face against Leela’s shoulder.

“I used to find seashells every time I went,” she went on, voice dropping to something almost fond. “And I’d poke a hole through them, string them together, and make these necklaces. Tourists used to buy them off me—sometimes for more than they were worth. Ten dirhams, twenty for some.” A small smile played at the edge of her lips. “I thought I was a genius.”

Joel swallowed.

This—this was new. Something she had never shared before.

He could almost see it. The version of her that existed back then, back before she'd come into this home of hers. A little girl on the shore, knees in the sand, sifting through bits of broken shells and sea glass, tucking the best ones into her pockets. That was the part that got him.

"I'll make you one someday," she promised, her lips brushing the crown of Maya’s head. "Just for you."

And Joel just stood there, his grip tightening around the doorframe, that satisfaction warm in him, in a way he didn’t have words for.

But then there were the other moments. The hard ones that came to bite the good ones in the ass.

The times when Maya got too fussy, too inconsolable, when the crying turned into something high-pitched and unrelenting, and Leela just froze up.

As if she didn’t know what to do. Or she wasn’t sure she should do anything. That kind of fear wasn’t what practice fixed. Wasn’t something that just went away with time.

So, Joel was always there to take over.

She’d pass Maya off to him, hands shaking just a little, eyes darting away like she was ashamed. Like she hadn’t spent months loving this little girl in the ways that mattered. Like she was resigning herself to failure.

And Joel would sigh, settling the baby against his chest, rocking her instinctively. He pressed a kiss to her temple, rubbing slow, steady circles against her back.

Maya would calm and Leela would turn away, busying herself elsewhere, relieving her tension with calming breaths.

"You’re doin’ good, mama," Joel would murmur to her, every time, without fail. More than a reassurance, it was a conviction, to remind her that she was still moving forward, right now she'd just hit pause.

Leela let out a breath that sounded almost like a laugh, shaking her head. "You don’t have to keep saying that."

"Ain’t sayin’ it just to say it," he triumphed.

Joel didn’t push. Didn’t tell her she was wrong, didn’t try to fix it. Because later—when Maya was calm, warm and sleepy again—Leela would come back.

She always did. And she'd try again.

Safe to say, at this very moment, Joel was more than content. He could pass on happy, knowing he'd seen this.

That was a rare thing these days, fleeting, it was best to catch that moment before it was gone. But right now—right here—he was.

The night air was warm, laced with the scent of grilled meat and charred corn, the last remnants of the summer morning fading under a lazy evening breeze, the sound of laughter curling up into the sky. They were all sprawled out on the porch, boots propped on railings, chairs tipped back, the easy lull of conversation moving between them.

Tommy had brought out cold beers for everyone, and Ellie was half a bottle in, already on a roll, spilling some wild gossip about a couple in town at top speed.

Joel sat back in his chair, stretching his legs out in front of him, one ankle crossed over the other. His beer bottle was solid in his palm, condensation slipping down the dark glass.

It was nice, this. Real. Complete.

But, Joel wasn’t really listening to anything. Not with her sitting right there.

Leela had settled a little ways from him, close enough that the light from the porch lamp caught the curve of her shoulder, the way her skin gleamed faintly from the heat of the day. She kept to herself mostly, only chiming in when she needed to, but she was present, body and mind. She was showing up.

A while ago, she wouldn’t have. Would’ve found some excuse, some reason to keep to herself, to slip away before anyone got too close. Now she was right next to him, stealing bites of that spicy sausage off his plate. Tearing a piece apart with her fingers, chewing slowly, licking the oil from her thumb while listening to Ellie.

Without giving it much thought, he reached over, grabbing his plate and leaning forward. He loaded it up—more sausage, a good selection of meats, some of that grilled corn Ellie had raved about earlier—and set it onto her lap.

Leela blinked, looking down, then up at him.

He didn’t bother with anything more, he knew what a single glimpse of that smile would do to him. Just took a sip of his beer.

And for a second—just a second—he let himself think. If things were a little different, if she were more comfortable, if he were more transparent—he’d have her closer. Right up against him, stretched over his lap, arm hanging off his shoulder, laughing with everyone, his palm stroking against the bare skin of her back, brushing lazy kisses wherever he could. Just hose down and be with her. As his.

The thought was so real, that it almost hurt.

So, he pushed that away to focus on Ellie, leaning against the porch railing, who was already mid-story, voice high with amusement. “I’m serious, this guy’s been sneaking out past curfew every single night, and you won’t believe who he’s been meeting—”

“Y'know,” Tommy cut in, tipping his beer toward her, “for someone who breaks curfew at least once a week, you sure got a lot to say about other people doin' it.”

Ellie ignored him. “Anyway, rumour is, he’s been—”

He let her trail off in the background, his attention pulled elsewhere. His eyes were on Maya, who had flat-out refused to stay in anyone’s lap for more than a minute.

The moment they sat down to eat, she’d wriggled free, her little legs determined to carry her across the porch, across the room, across everywhere she could reach. It didn’t seem to matter that she still wobbled on her feet, still stumbled more than she walked. She was going.

Maria chuckled when Maya toddled over to the newspaper stand, babbling the same sound under her breath, gripping the edge before promptly yanking a few pages out. All that curiosity only made her more mischievous.

“Look at her go,” she said, shaking her head. “God, she really is amazing, Leela. I can't believe she’s walking so soon.”

"It's all Joel," Leela deflected easily, waving a hand. "He's been with her all along."

Joel nudged her ankle with his foot, light but firm.

Leela glanced at him, and he shot her a look. There she goes again. Diminishing herself. Like she hadn’t spent these few months, killing herself trying, rocking that girl to sleep, teaching her how to eat with her tiny fingers, soothing every cry, every nightmare.

Joel knew. So he gave her a look that said as much.

Leela rolled her eyes at him, but he caught the twitch of a smile at the corner of her lips before she turned away.

Across the porch, Tommy wiggled his fingers from his chair. “C’mere, sweetheart. Wanna come to Uncle Tommy?”

Maya, still clutching a crumpled newspaper, gave him that big, gummy grin, hands flapping excitedly as she stumbled forward, her legs moving before the rest of her could catch up. All excitement and cute, pink booties that Joel had picked out for her tonight.

Tommy caught her easily, scooping her up with one arm and blowing a loud raspberry against her belly. Her laughter rang out, bright and breathless, tiny hands grasping at his beard.

Maria leaned back in her chair, stretching her legs out in front of her. “You know, she’s gonna start running soon.”

Tommy groaned dramatically, still holding Maya on her hip. She squealed, wriggling against his hold. “Don’t say that, darlin', please. Let me enjoy this wobbly stage before I gotta see Joel huffin’ and puffin’ after her down the street.”

Maria smirked. “Might be good for him. He could use the exercise.”

Joel narrowed his eyes at her, pointing the mouth of his bottle at her. “You wanna say that again, ma'am?”

She threw up her hands, grinning, and mimed zipping her mouth.

Ellie, who had been leaning against the railing, picked at a splinter in the wood before glancing up with a smirk. “Yeah, keep complaining, but Maya’s got more stamina than you fogeys already.”

Tommy scoffed, bouncing Maya once to make her giggle. “I know how much trouble you were, and you were already, what, fourteen when we met you?”

Ellie gasped, clutching her chest dramatically. “I am a constant fuckin' delight.”

Maria snorted, shaking her head. “Mhm. A regular ray of sunshine.”

Ellie pointed at Maya. “She gets it. Baby girl's a menace already, I can tell. Future troublemaker in the making.”

Maya, as if proving Ellie’s point, grabbed a fistful of Tommy’s beard and yanked. Tommy let out a strangled noise, drawing out a laugh from everyone.

Joel just sat back, taking it all in. Yeah. This was good. That warmth. The one that came with nights like this. Family. A strange, messy, complicated kind of family. It was the end of the world anyway, even simple was difficult.

When Tommy abruptly stood up, Joel clocked it instantly.

The movement was purposeful, a hasty departure. Tommy adjusted Maya against his hip, bouncing her lightly as she tugged at his collar. But it wasn’t just him standing—it was why. He was obviously staying out of this; smart man.

Joel’s stiffened. Something was coming. Going to happen.

“You need a change, baby girl?” Tommy muttered, though his voice was casual. Too casual. He rubbed at Maya’s back, kissed the top of her dark curls, and then turned toward the house.

No one questioned it. And that was the part that put Joel even more on edge.

Ellie slid into Tommy’s empty seat, dragging her bottle with her. Maria reached over to rub aimless, soothing circles on her back, her expression set, unreadable.

Joel’s grip tightened around his beer. “Alright,” he muttered. “What?”

Maria exhaled. Slow. Then came out with it.

“The distillation system at the dam is busted.”

Joel leaned back in his chair, pressing the bottle to his lips. He took a slow, deliberate sip, letting the words settle, pretending he gave a damn about the cold burn of the beer down his throat.

Maria kept going. “Overheating. Something’s jammed up real bad, and we’re looking at maybe two weeks’ worth of fresh water before we run dry.”

Joel lowered his bottle, exhaling sharply through his nose.

“And?” he asked flatly.

Maria’s gaze flicked to Leela. Leela—who hadn’t moved, hadn’t spoken, too intent on learning about this issue.

“This is her expertise,” Joel continued, waving a hand. “Get her over there, let her fix it. Problem solved.”

And sure enough, Leela was already straightening up, nodding, looking like she was ready to knuckle down and get to it.

But Maria wasn’t done.

She shifted. “It’s bad,” she admitted. “But—”

Joel set his beer down. There was always a ‘but.’

Maria glanced at Leela again. “That new system you mapped out a while back, the one we didn’t put into place ‘cause of the lightning battery project—”

Joel sighed, rubbing a hand over his jaw. He knew where this was going.

Maria looked at him now. Directly. She was shooting this point blank. “We need new parts,” she said. “And no one knows exactly what we need except for you.”

And there it was. The fucking catch.

Joel went completely still. Maria wasn’t asking him anything. She was telling him. And she knew exactly how he was going to react.

Ellie was the first to break the silence. “Yeah, no. That’s a stupid idea.”

Maria turned to her, brows lifting. “Is it?”

“I’m serious.” Ellie sat forward in her chair. “You want her to go out there? For what—some metal scraps? Jesse and I took down a bloater—a fucking bloater, Maria—five days ago, not too far from the lookout point. Jesus, we'll figure something out.”

“Ellie.” Joel’s voice was quiet, but firm.

Ellie clamped her mouth shut, eyes darting to him. But she waited a moment before she went on anyway.

“Then get the list of shit you need and send someone else over,” Ellie snapped. “Me and Joel and someone who—”

“There isn't anyone else,” Maria cut in.

Ellie’s mouth opened again, ready to strike. Then shut. Quietly looked away, jaw tight, seething.

Joel exhaled, finally moving from his stiff stance, elbows on his knees. He stared at the ground. At the dark wooden planks beneath his boots. His thoughts twisted, tangled. He knew one thing. He didn’t like this at all.

Maria sighed, rubbing her temple. “I get it. I do. But we don’t have time to waste. We need this up and running, and no one here has Leela’s knowledge.”

Leela finally spoke. “I'll do it. I can do it.”

That was the last straw. Joel snapped.

He pushed up from his chair, the scrape of his boot loud against the porch floor.

Everyone turned.

He ignored them, muttering, “Need a goddamn drink,” and turned for the house.

The screen door creaked as he pushed through, but he barely heard it slam over the pounding in his ears.

He knew himself. Knew his temper, knew the way it burned low and controlled until it wasn’t—until it came bursting out in a way that never did anyone any good. Knew what he was capable of when it came to this. When it came to her.

So he walked. Put distance between himself and the porch, between Maria’s careful wording, Tommy’s orchestrated retreat, Ellie’s immediate reaction, and Leela’s quiet resolve.

Because he knew exactly what the hell this meant. And he didn’t fucking like it.

"Joel, c'mon!" Ellie tried to call out to him. He wasn't ready for that just yet.

Inside, the house was dim, lantern lights flickering against the walls. The voices from the porch dulled to a murmur, but it wasn’t enough to drown out the words already hammering in his skull.

Joel barely registered Tommy leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, watching him like he’d expected this. Maya was at the coffee table amusing herself, small fingers pushing at a coaster, flipping it up, letting it fall.

Joel blew out a breath, stalked toward the shelf he'd frequented too many times, and grabbed the bottle.

Tommy's speech was coming, he could feel it. But he was in no mood to hear it.

“Joel—”

“No,” he cut in sharply. He yanked out the cork with his teeth and poured himself a glass. “You don’t get to stand there actin’ like this makes sense.”

Tommy sighed. “It does make sense. You just don’t wanna hear it.”

Joel scoffed, shaking his head. “You hear yourself? You really think this is a good idea?”

“We can handle it.”

“We—she’s got a kid. A baby.”

Tommy’s jaw tightened. “She’s survived on her own for years, man. She knows what she’s going up against.”

Joel slammed the bottle onto the counter. Maya who had wandered over from surface to surface, stood by Tommy's leg now, fist in her mouth, staring up at Joel. His anger faltered for a moment.

“You know that doesn't mean shit,” he whispered instead.

Tommy’s lips pressed into a line, like he wanted to say more, but he held back.

Joel let out a slow breath, shaking his head. “You were standin’ right there,” he muttered. “You heard her. She just up and agreed, no fuss. Like she doesn’t have somethin’ to lose. Fucking pisses me off.”

Tommy exhaled sharply, stepping away from the doorframe, closer. “And what—you think you’re the only one who gives a damn about that?”

Joel’s hand curled around his glass, grip tightening.

Tommy watched him, voice dropping lower. “I get it. You’re scared.”

Joel laughed—sharp, humourless. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

Tommy shook his head, rubbing a hand down his face. “She ain’t a prisoner, brother. You can’t keep her locked up just ‘cause it makes you feel better. She's contributing, and I appreciate it.”

Joel clenched his jaw, looking away, looking anywhere but at his sly fucking brother. He wasn't keeping her locked up. She's free to roam about Jackson to all her heart's content. Anywhere outside those gates was death.

Tommy let out a short breath. “One day, Joel. That’s all it is. A quick trip, in and out. Not even too far. Colten Bay, where the cars are at. We get the parts, we get out.” He pointed between them. “If anyone can pull this off safely, it's the two of us.”

Joel swallowed down a mouthful of whiskey, felt the burn tear through his chest, but it didn’t do a damn thing to loosen the tension gripping him. His first drink in weeks, so really—Maria and Tommy can burn in hell.

He didn’t fucking care that it was one day. Didn’t care that Maria had spun it like a need instead of a gamble. Didn’t care that everyone in Jackson seemed to forget that time had nothing to do with luck. That all it took was one second, one wrong move, one stray bullet, one clicker—

Joel’s fingers curled around the glass, his grip too tight, his knuckles white.

Tommy glanced toward the window while bending down to pick up Maya, and Joel’s eyes flicked there without thinking.

Leela was still on the porch, still sitting in that chair, but she wasn’t listening to Maria anymore.

She was watching him.

Her gaze was indistinct. She wasn’t pissed. Wasn’t waiting for him to come back out and start swinging words at her. He knew she was trying to figure him out, trying to make sense of the way he’d walked out, the way he always did when something didn’t sit right in his chest.

Joel turned away first, the whiskey still burning at the back of his throat.

Nothing fucking mattered. What mattered was that it was her, facing this head-on.

And he wasn’t convinced of a goddamn thing.

Joel and Leela walked on home in silence, and it wasn't the good kind.

The wind had died down some, the night settling thick and warm over Jackson. It was quiet this time of night—just the occasional rustling of leaves, and the distant bark of a dog.

Maya waddled ahead of them on the road, booted feet scuffing the pavement, hands out like she was steadying herself on air. She still stumbled, still tottered every few steps, but she always caught herself. Every so often, she’d stop short, crouch down with intense concentration, and pluck some tiny thing from the asphalt—a loose button, a round pebble, a twig stripped bare. Each discovery was met with a moment of serious inspection before she turned to Leela, holding out her closed fist.

Leela didn't rush her. She crouched every time, let Maya show her whatever treasure she found, murmured little words of encouragement as she carefully tucked them away in her fists.

Joel watched them, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets.

Maya was still tireless, determined to walk herself out, and they let her. Better she exhausted herself and slept without waking through the night.

Joel let the silence hang between them a while longer, turning over the conversation from earlier, rolling it like a stone in his palm. It sat uneasy in his gut.

He hadn’t said a thing since she told them all. Since she made it clear that she was going on that supply run, no matter what he thought about it.

And maybe that was the problem. Maybe that was what had him feeling like his ribs were closing in on him, like he had no way out anymore.

Because she wasn’t asking. She wasn’t waiting for his approval, for his permission, for the fight he was expecting. She had made up her mind, and all he could do was either accept it or lose his goddamn mind over it.

Joel let out a slow breath through his nose, rubbing a hand along his neck. His gaze flicked to Leela, who walked beside him now, letting Maya waddle ahead, her little hands clutching another button and a leaf—all prizes from her slow road exploration.

He envied her, in a way. The simplicity of Maya. The way her world was still so small, so safe. She didn’t know what was waiting beyond Jackson’s gates. Didn’t know about the things that hunted in the dark. Didn’t know what it was like to lose the people you loved. Not just yet.

The silence stretched between them as they reached the end of the street. It wasn’t tense, not really, but there was something unspoken lingering between them, thick as the humid summer air around them. Maybe Leela thought he’d just walk away, and head back to his own place without another word. Hell, maybe he thought he would too.

But his feet didn’t turn.

Instead, he followed her up the steps of her house, moving in quiet tandem with her. The porch light flickered faintly above them, casting long shadows, and softening the sharp edges of the night.

Leela reached for the doorknob, hesitating for just a second, as if half-expecting him to stop. Then, she glanced at him from the corner of her eye—surprise flickered there, barely a spark before she smothered it, burying it deep where he wouldn’t see.

She didn’t ask why he was still here. Didn’t call him on it. Like she’d already made peace with the idea that he’d walk away. That he always did when things got too tangled in his head. When he got too pissed to think straight.

“Joel,” she tried anyway, quiet. Not pushing. Not pleading. Just saying his name, like she needed to acknowledge him still standing beside her.

He shook his head. Stepped inside after her. “We'll talk after, darlin'.”

Their playful baby girl was still awake, cradled in her mama's arms now, her chubby fingers curled around something—studying it with immense curiosity. Then she turned them up to him, holding out her tiny hand.

Joel exhaled, the tension in his shoulders easing just slightly as he knelt beside her. “Oh, for me? Thank you.”

She blinked up at him, solemn for half a second before breaking into a slow, gummy smile. He kissed her fingers, then pried the object from her grasp—a small, worn button, edges fraying. It's wonder how it hadn't found its way into her mouth. He pocketed it anyway.

“I want these though,” he murmured, touching the soft curls on her head before pressing another kiss to her hand.

Maya stared at him, absorbing his words with the kind of gravity only babies seemed to have. Then, consciously, she put a hand to her eyes and dragged it down in a peekaboo motion—an awkward, uncoordinated version of what Leela had been working on with her.

Joel huffed out a quiet laugh, repeating her motion with his own hand and eyes. “Yeah, sleep time. G'night, sweetheart.”

She grinned like she understood, letting her head flop to the side, little fingers curling into the skin on her mother's neck.

Joel lingered for a moment longer, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest, before finally straightening. Leela had already stepped away, slipping upstairs without another word. Not dismissing him—just giving him space. Maybe testing whether he’d still be here when she came back down.

He needed to get his head straight before that happened. The whiskey was settling in now, thickening his thoughts, and making everything feel heavier. He strolled into the kitchen, grabbed a glass, swallowed it down in slow gulps, and let his fingers rest against the cool rim of the sink. Tried to clear the haze.

His mind wouldn’t fucking settle.

He considered every possible thing that could go wrong once she stepped outside Jackson. About how exposed she’d be. About what she didn’t know, what she hadn’t prepared for. Or had she?

He glanced at the lights in the room. Did she even own a flashlight? A pack? His gaze shifted toward the shoe cupboard. Sturdy boots? Maybe she could take his. No, that’d be suicide—his shoes would slow her down. Maybe he could fix something for her, repurpose something—

He ran a hand over his face, pressing his fingers against the slow-forming ache between his brows.

His eyes drifted to the farthest end of the living room, past the record player and fireplace, where she kept the rifles on display. Two out of three hooks were filled. Good rifles. Sturdy make. Definitely not the US. The stocks had rough engravings on them—one, the bigger one, had a cowboy hat carved into it. The other, smaller but similar to the one he took on patrol, had a sunflower.

Joel never asked if he could try the big one. Never asked why she had them. He wasn’t sure if it was respect or something else holding him back.

Joel heard her before he saw her.

Soft footsteps against the wooden floor, hesitant but not uncertain. He didn’t turn. Kept his eyes on the empty space on the wall where the third rifle should’ve been.

“Hey,” he called to her. “Where’d the other one go?”

A pause. “Oh, um.”

The hesitation made him glance over his shoulder, just in time to catch the way her expression flickered—quick, close to distress—before she forced it smooth.

“I lost it. A while ago.”

Joel didn’t say anything. She was good at keeping her face unreadable when she wanted to be. Too good. But her hands gave her away—fingers twitching at her sides, body shifting like she was bracing for something. For him to push.

Instead, he turned fully, giving her a long, quiet look. “So you can use one?”

Leela lifted a shoulder in that casual way of hers. “You just aim and pull the trigger.”

Jesus Christ. Joel exhaled sharply through his nose. “More to it than that.”

That finally got a reaction. Not much, but he saw it—the way her back straightened, the way her gaze flickered toward the rifle hooks like she wasn’t sure if she should be embarrassed or pissed off.

Joel dragged a hand down his face, his patience thinning. The irritation burning in his chest wasn’t at her. Not really. It was the world that had left her this unprepared. At whoever had let her believe that knowing how to run was the same as knowing how to survive.

And then, softly—like she could hear every damn thing rattling around in his head—Leela said, “You don’t have to worry about me, Joel.”

His jaw locked. His hands curled into fists at his sides. That was easy for her to say.

“That right?” His voice was low, edged like a knife. “I don’t have to worry?” He let out a short, humourless laugh, shaking his head. “The hell kinda thing is that to say?”

Leela sighed, not looking away. “Because Tommy’s right,” she said simply. “I do know how to take care of myself.”

Joel scoffed, glancing away like that might help settle the heat crawling under his skin. “That ain’t the goddamn point.”

“I’ve been alone for years before you or Maya.” Her voice was calm, matter-of-fact. “You think I don’t know how to get out of a bad situation?” She shook her head, lips pressing together. “I know when to run. I know when to escape. I know how to survive.”

Joel clenched his teeth. His voice came rough, gravelly. “That doesn’t mean you should have to.”

“I won’t have to.”

Joel let out a sharp breath, shaking his head. “See, now you’re just tryin’ my patience—”

Leela scoffed. “And you’re not trying mine?”

His jaw ticked. She had that look again—stubborn, set in her ways. Like she’d already decided she was right and he was wrong. That this was just some argument she could win if she dug her heels in deep enough.

Joel felt his pulse in his temples. He took a slow breath, working to unclench his fists. “Darlin'—”

“No, I get it.” She threw up a hand, a sharpness flashing in her eyes. “You don’t trust me to handle myself.”

Joel’s stomach twisted. That wasn’t it. That wasn’t it.

“This ain’t about trust or confidence,” he bit out. “It’s about common damn sense. You head out there thinking it’s just about knowing when to run, you’re gonna wind up dead.”

Leela flinched—barely. But he saw it.

“Yeah, that scared you already?” he goaded.

She blinked, and her expression flickered for the first time in the conversation. It wasn’t much. Just a shift—like his words had hit somewhere deep.

His pulse pounded in his ears, and the heat of it was too much. He couldn’t breathe around it.

She didn’t get it. Didn’t get that he had to worry about her. The fact that he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about her. How it pissed him the fuck off that she was moving through the world like she didn’t expect anyone to look out for her.

Look, he’d seen what happens to people who think they know how to survive—people who get cocky, get comfortable, get trigger-happy and think they can handle the world outside these walls.

And then they don’t come back. Then they end up dead. Or worse.

He could still remember it so clearly. The way she’d disappeared inside herself after—days, maybe weeks, of silence.

She’d been hollow back then. Like someone had cracked her open and scooped out everything that made her her, leaving behind this void of a person. And even now—months later—she still shrank sometimes. Still tensed when someone moved too fast. Still got too deep in her own head, lost in the shadows of what had been done to her.

And now she wanted to act like she knew better than him? Like she could handle herself just fine? Like she could walk out there and face the world, and all its horrors? No fucking way.

Before he could stop himself before he could shove it back down where it belonged—

“Exactly,” His voice was low, rough. “I bet you didn't give that much thought the last time you stepped outta Jackson. Everything went just fine, ain't it?”

The second the words left his mouth, he felt them hit. Joel desperately wanted to take them back.

Leela didn’t move or even breathe. And for a second—one terrible, drawn-out second—Joel thought maybe she hadn’t heard him right. Maybe it hadn’t landed the way it shouldn’t have. Maybe she understood where he was coming from.

Then he saw it.

Saw the way her eyes widened—just a fraction—before she caught herself. The way her throat bobbed like she was swallowing down something jagged, that wouldn't go down. The way her fingers curled around her elbows, gripping tight, too tight.

She looked—

No.

Fuck.

She looked like she’d just been struck across the face.

Joel felt his stomach drop out from under him, cold and fast. His hands twitched uselessly at his sides.

He opened his mouth—to say what? What the hell was he supposed to say? That he hadn’t meant it? That it had just slipped? That it wasn’t meant to come out like that? That he loved her too much to see her turned into one of those monsters? That he'd have to be the one to end her life?

None of it would matter. The damage was done.

Leela blinked—slow, making sense of what he'd said in her head, like she was trying to reset herself, to push it all down before it could spill over.

Then, wordlessly, she took a step back.

It wasn’t a flinch. Just one slow, careful step, like she was putting distance between herself and a flame.

His throat felt tight, but he forced out, “Leela, I—”

Her dark eyes lifted to his, and whatever he was about to say—whatever useless, pathetic attempt he had at making this right—died in his throat.

He saw it then. The hurt rising inside her like a tide, like something too big for her body to hold. She fought to keep it contained, to keep herself from drowning in it.

She had spent months clawing her way back from the wreckage. Months forcing herself to breathe when breathing hurt. He had seen her battle it every goddamn day—watched her press forward even when it would’ve been easier to crumble.

And now—now—he had gone and ripped her right back to the place she had fought so fucking hard to escape.

The realization made him sick. His stomach twisted, bile burning at the back of his throat.

He took a step toward her, hands aching to reach out—he didn’t even know for what—but she moved first.

Another step back. Fear or hesitance would've been better. No, she was just done.

His chest caved in.

She pulled in a breath, slow and shaking, and turned away.

No words. No parting shot. And for the first time in a long time, Joel felt that patched-up thing inside him splinter once more.

He lingered, just long enough to watch her shoulders tense, just long enough to see the way she folded her arms around herself like she had to physically hold herself together, pressing the heel of her palm to her forehead.

Then he swallowed hard, fisted his useless hands at his sides, and turned for the door. He knew when he wasn't needed. Even if he wanted to stand there and fight, he knew he'd only make it worse.

And this time, she didn’t stop him, or even look his way. Like he wasn’t worth looking at anymore.

And that—more than anything—was what finally did him in.

Joel had gone over that conversation a hundred times that night. Maybe more. All the would've, could've, should've.

He rewound it. Paused it. Picked it apart with brutal precision, replaying every word, every pause, every flex in her expression, every goddamn moment where he could have said something else. Done something else.

He thought of all the ways he could’ve worked around it. How he could’ve found a way to talk her down without tearing her apart. How he could’ve swallowed his damn pride, fought back his temper, and let the moment pass instead of driving a blade straight through it.

That failure pressed into his chest like a dull, grinding ache. A constant, gnawing thing that wouldn't leave him alone. He could still see her face—see the way she’d gone still, like all the fight had been ripped out of her. See the way her fingers had curled, clinging to herself like he was something she needed to guard against.

And now—he was lying awake, staring at the ceiling, feeling like his own body was too goddamn tight around him.

Had he lost them both in less than a few words out of his angry skull?

The thought twisted inside him, sharp and ugly, sending him rolling onto his side, then onto his back again, unable to settle. He clenched his fists into the blanket and breathed through his nose. It was a mistake. A bad one.

But mistakes could be fixed.

By the time dawn started bleeding through the cracks in his window, he was already up. Already moving, feeling like a goddamn pushover despite the gnawing panic chewing at his gut.

He had ten different ways to apologize. A dozen ways to make it right. All those months—those careful, fragile months he’d spent trying to earn his place in her life—those hadn’t just disappeared overnight. Right? She had to know he hadn’t meant it. She had to know why he said it. She had to know that he—

All of them crumpled into nothing the second he clicked the handle of her door.

Locked.

His gut went cold, his hand flexing against the handle before he tried again. Tighter. Harder.

Still locked.

That was his first red light, and his pulse picked up.

He knocked once. Twice. No, she wasn't shutting him out like this. Then again, louder, the heel of his hand landing flat against the wood.

"Fuck!"

Silence. A silence that stretched too long and felt wrong. His pulse kicked up, a slow, insidious dread creeping under his skin.

He stepped back, his gaze flicking across the windows—the kitchen, dark. The living room, empty. His eyes dragged toward the nursery window on the far right-hand side—nothing.

No shadow shifting behind the curtain. No rustling, no sound—not even Maya.

The sick feeling in his gut twisted tighter.

He exhaled, a sharp, uneven thing, running a hand down the corners of his mouth. Think, dammit. Think.

She could be out. Could be at Tommy and Maria’s. Could be at the stables, or the gardens, or anywhere but here. Really early in the morning. Where—where—where—

His breath came shallow. His hands flexed at his sides. And then, like a slow, sick unravelling, the realization started to set in.

No, that wasn’t it.

It wasn’t just the locked door. It wasn’t just the empty house.

It was the details. The little things he hadn’t noticed before. The way the street was too still. The way the morning air carried no trace of her scent—woodsmoke and something soft, something clean. The way Maya’s cries hadn’t woken him up at the crack of dawn.

Because she was gone.

Because she’d already left.

With Tommy. Or Ellie. Or Maria. Sometime in the morning.

"Shit," he hissed.

And Joel was too fucking late.

His heart lurched as he broke into a sprint, boots pounding against the dirt road as he raced toward the stables. His breath came rough, shallow, burning his throat, but he didn’t slow.

Didn’t stop. He just couldn't.

Not when he already felt the loss clawing its way under his skin, tightening in his ribs, wrapping around his throat. He could picture, her, out there, alone with Tommy. He should be there, no matter how much she despised him at that moment.

This fucking girl. Stupid, dumb, impulsive girl. So what if she could fix everything, so what if she could solve Jackson's every problem? What about her? What was he then, chopped liver? What the fuck was he here for?

He shoved through the stables, pushing past a startled ranch hand, heading straight for the gun rack. His fingers curled around the first rifle in reach, yanking it loose with a sharp tug.

“Joel, Maria said—” Someone stepped forward, half a warning, half a question, but he wasn’t listening.

He held up a cautionary hand. “Son. Don't.”

And that was enough for him to back the hell away.

Joel's body moved on instinct. A force of will, of desperation, of that something clawing at the edges of his sanity, telling him to get the fuck on.

He threw himself onto the saddle, boots slamming hard into the stirrups, hands locking around the reins with a grip tight enough to turn his knuckles white. The horse beneath him shifted, sensing his urgency, muscles coiling beneath its hide. He yanked the reins, heels pressing in.

The gate loomed ahead.

"Open the goddamn gate," he barked.

No hesitation. No arguments. Damn straight. The heavy doors groaned, splitting apart just wide enough—and he was gone.

Bolting through, dirt and gravel kicking up in his wake, muggy wind cutting against his face. His pulse was hammering, his breath sharp, ragged. Riding like hell itself was behind him.

Out for her.

{ taglist 🫶: @darknight3904 , @guiltyasdave , @letsgobarbs , @helskemes , @jodiswiftle , @tinawantstobeadoll , @bergamote-catsandbooks , @cheekychaos28 , @randofantfic , @justagalwhowrites , @emerald-evans , @amyispxnk , @corazondebeskar-reads , @wildemaven , @tuquoquebrute , @elli3williams , @bluemusickid , @bumblepony , @legoemma , @chantelle-mh , @heartlessvirgo , @possiblyafangirl , @pedropascalsbbg , @oolongreads -> @kaseynsfws , @prose-before-hoes , @kateg88 , @laliceee , @escaping-reality8 , @mystickittytaco , @penvisions , @elliaze , @eviispunk , @lola-lola-lola , @peepawispunk , @sarahhxx03 , @julielightwood , @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi , @arten1234 , @jhiddles03 , @everinlove , @nobodycanknoww , @ashleyfilm , @rainbowcosmicchaos , @i-howl-like-a-wolf-at-the-moon , @orcasoul , @nunya7394 , @noisynightmarepoetry , @picketniffler , @ameagrice , @mojaveghst , @dinomecanico , @guelyury , @staytrueblue , @queenb-42069 , @suzysface , @btskzfav , @ali-in-w0nderland , @ashhlsstuff , @devotedlypaleluminary , @sagexsenorita , @serenadingtigers , @yourgirlcin , @henrywintersgun , @jadagirl15 , @misshoneypaper , @lunnaisjustvibing , @enchantingchildkitten , @senhoritamayblog , @isla-finke-blog , @millercontracting , @tinawantstobeadoll , @funerals-with-cake , @txlady37 , @inasunlitroom , @clya4 , @callmebyyournick-name , @axshadows , @littlemissoblivious } - thank you!! awwwww we're like a little family <3

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igorluvr · 22 hours ago

Text

‘T.O.P SECRET

PAIRING: choi seung hyun (T.O.P) x black!reader

SYNOPSIS: hiding a relationship with a popular k-pop idol was hard enough, with paparazzi constantly following and fans obsessed with him. would you be able to deal with it, or crack under pressure?

CONTENT: aggravating fans, negative self talk, fluff so sweet you’ll get a cavity, "mamas" (im sorry guys i love it)

AUTHORS NOTE: the instagram portion is heavily inspired by @rosones‘s “being an actress dating choi seunghyun” fics, pleaseeee go check them out !!!

word count: [1.2k]

EVERYTHING was starting to get to you. Having to be hidden by the man you wanted to marry was exhausting and genuinely taking a toll on your mental. The two of you met 4 years ago, with you being a backup dancer for one of his biggest music videos.

Your sweet personality and captivating look immediately caught his eye. The way you carried yourself made his heart flip, he knew you were the one. After filming was done, he asked you out to dinner and it was wraps from there.

Meeting Seung-hyun was the best thing that happened to you. Well it was, until a year into your relationship. As the days you were together increased, you wanted to show off your boyfriend more. You knew you couldn’t and that ate you alive.

Seeing everyone getting posted and taken out by their boyfriends always put a bad feeling in your stomach, knowing that could never be you. Sometimes you wish that he was a regular guy, that people wouldn’t bombard him with questions everytime he went out and that his fans weren’t bat shit crazy.

You knew how harsh the k-pop industry was, and wanted no part in it. Some idols were getting publicly shamed just for relationship rumors, so what would the people say if they knew you were together for almost half a decade?

It wasn’t his fault, but it affected how you acted towards him. You found yourself getting random attitudes to him—not wanting to talk when he tells you how you can’t go on cute dates, and overall just being cold. One day, in particular, was way worse than usual.

It was the morning of valentine’s day, your 5th together, and you couldn’t shake the sick feeling you had. Everywhere you looked was filled with couples. Your social media, stores, the streets— you couldn’t escape it.

Now you weren’t one to be ungrateful, but having to stay hidden on a day where couples were meant to be shown off made you feel a type of way. You wanted nothing more than to be flaunted by Seung-hyun. This was the man you wanted to marry, and you wanted everyone to know.

Getting out of bed, you saw that he was nowhere in sight. Not in the room, bathroom, living room, or kitchen. Heading back to your shared room, you picked up your phone and went to text Seung-hyun. Surprisingly, though, there was already a message from him.

mybaby💋 • 1m ago

goodmorning princess, come to the guest room. happy valentine’s day ❤️

You were confused by the message, still being dazed by the sleepiness weighing on you. Leaving your shared room, you dragged your feet to the unused guest room, which was all the way on the other side of the house

The both of you had a shared home, which was rather large due to him wanting to have space for his group and occasional parties. You didn’t object, not caring about the size. But it was times like this when you really regretted your decision.

After what felt like an endless walk through the hallways decorated with bright colors and pictures of happy times the both you shared, you finally arrived at the guest room. You sleepily opened the door, and as you stepped inside, you were greeted by a sight that left you speechless.

The room was adorned with an array of crimson red balloons, each hovering slightly above the ground. They wavered slightly from the faint breeze from the windows, their shiny surfaces reflecting the soft, warm light that shone in from the sunrise. Delicate rose petals scattered across the hardwood floor formed a path toward the center of the room.

At the end of the room, there were silver balloons hovering above the lounge couch spelling out 'i love you' in cursive. The way the chords echoed around the room made your heart swell with a mixture of surprise and overwhelming emotion. The whole scene made you want to burst out in tears, you were so lucky to have someone like him in your life.

Seung-hyun stood by the words holding a glittery bouquet of flowers, looking as handsome as ever with a gentle smile that made your insides flutter. “Happy Valentine’s Day love.” he spoke softly, voice almost drowned out by the music.

You could barely speak, nothing coming out but girly giggles and laughs. The effort he put into making this day special flooded your mind with warmth, overtaking your earlier frustrations. Everything about the setup felt so intimate, you could really tell how much time and effort he put into it.

“Seung-hyun, this is… it’s beautiful.” you finally managed to say, eyes watering as you walked into the room. You stepped over the rose petals, feeling a bittersweet twinge of happiness mixed with the indifference of knowing you couldn't show anyone how happy you were.

“I wanted to do something special for you, just for today,” he said, moving toward you to take your hands in his. “You deserve the world. I hate that we have to keep our love a secret, but I want you to know how much you mean to me, especially on days like this.”

Tears gathered at the bottom of your eyes, threatening to spill out.. You knew he cared, you really did, but the guilt of feeling like a secret in his life made it all so complicated. “I just wish…” you started, voice shaky, “I just wish we could be open about us. I want to show everyone how amazing you are, how much I love you.”

He took a step closer, the warmth radiating from him somehow able to calm the emotions raging inside you. “I know baby, but this is how it has to be right now. I promise, one day we can be public about everything. You just have to trust me a little longer.”

Closure seemed so far away. You nodded, wiping at your eyes before flashing him a small smile, not wanting your feelings to overshadow the wonderful effort he’d put into today. “Okay. I trust you.”

“Let’s enjoy the day together, okay? I have a lot planned.” A wide smile spread across his face as he lead you out of the room, leaving you to wonder just what he had in mind.

As the day went on, you went to various places enjoying each others presence. He took you all around town to the most private, romantic spots. You loved when he did this, it showed how much he cared for you, but there was a pit in your stomach that couldn’t seem to go away.

On your anniversary, the day started with the two of you waking up wrapped in each other’s arms, sunlight beaming through the curtains, emphasizing all the intricate details and curves on his face. You couldn't shake the feeling that today would be different, something about it felt special, almost electric.

After making you breakfast, Seung-hyun insisted on keeping the day's plans a surprise. He carefully arranged everything to ensure it would be the happiest day of your life, one you spent all with him. You found yourself growing more excited the more he gave little hints about what was to come.

The first stop was a remote hillside cabin that he rented for the weekend. Burrowed among the trees, the cabin was completely surrounded by nature, giving you the peace and quiet he knew you loved. When you stepped inside, the cabin was filled with soft music, candles adorned the tables, flickering slightly. In the center of the room you were met with your favorite dish on both sides of a small table.

“Welcome to our place, baby” he said, sneaking up behind you to place a kiss on your shoulder "Just us." There was no hiding the smile that grew on your face, you could barely believe how thoughtful he was to create such a romantic setting just for you.

The two of you spent the morning walking through the beautiful trails that spread out through the woods, taking in the vibrant colors of the scattered leaves as they crunched under your feet. Seung-hyun held your hand tightly, occasionally pulling you in to exchange soft kisses, transporting you to world that felt entirely your own.

After the hike, he led you back to the cabin where he had a picnic set up inside, laid out on a beautifully woven blanket. A bottle of chilled wine sat on the cover, alongside an assortment of expensive cheeses, fruits, and pastries. You both settled comfortably on the floor, commenting on the rustic scenery and sharing stories and laughter. The sound of the wind blowing through the trees outside was a soundtrack to the love that surrounded you.

He urged you to put on a dress, a beautiful white one— saying it would make the picnic that more romantic. After a few minutes of going back and forth, you decided to just put it on. You knew how stubborn he was and if it made his enjoy the dinner more, you'd do it regardless.

As the sun slowly lowered in the sky to sink lower in the sky, casting a warm golden shadow through the cabin windows, Seung-hyun suggested to watch your favorite movie. Claiming it would be a good way to end the day, you agreed and settled down to start the film.

Halfway through, though, you noticed Seung-hyun glancing at you more than he was watching the film. His intense gaze sent a rush of warmth through you, and you smiled softly, hoping to encourage him to share whatever was on his mind. Just as the romantic climax of the movie approached, he paused the screen and turned to face you, his expression suddenly serious. “Can we talk for a moment?”

“Of course,” you replied, intrigued and a little anxious about what he was going to say. Pulling away slightly, he sat up and looked deeply into your eyes. “You know how much you mean to me, right?” His tone was somber and genuine, wrapping you in immediate comfort.

“More than anything” you muttered, heart racing.

“Good,” he said, nodding, his gaze unwavering. “Because I’ve been thinking about us, about our future, and how much I want to make it real.” He looked at you with a slight smile on his face, eyes unable to tear from you like a magnetic force locked his gaze onto yours.

Your breath caught in your throat, nervousness creeping to the surface as you anticipated what was coming. “What do you mean?” You could hardly keep the tremor from your voice.

Seung-hyun reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, velvet box. Your heart began to race even faster, an overwhelming mix of joy and disbelief swirling within you.

“I've never thought about marriage until five years ago when I met you. It’s like you flipped a switch in my brain, and suddenly, all I could think about was wanting to spend the rest of my life with you. I know we've had to keep things a secret, but I'm ready to tell the whole world about you. I want to build a life together, no more hiding or secrets.” he said, his voice calm but warm. “Let’s take this step so we can finally just be… us. Out in the open.”

With trembling hands, he opened the box, revealing a delicate silver ring that sparkled under the candlelight—an intricate design with a single gem at its center. The ring sparkled underneath the lights, losing you in it's beauty. “Will you marry me?”

Tears streamed down your face as a wave of emotions crashed over you. You weren’t just overwhelmed by the proposal, but by the amount of love and commitment in his eyes. You wouldn't have to hide how you felt, you wouldn't be a secret anymore.

“Yes!” you exclaimed, your voice breaking as you nodded fervently. “I'd love to marry you baby”

He slipped the ring onto your finger, and the moment it settled in place, you felt an overwhelming rush of joy. Seung-hyun scooped you into his arms, spinning you around as laughter spilled out of you and echoes off the walls of the cabin. He finally set you down, and in that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the world outside, not the secrets, not the complications. Just the two of you, finally stepping into the light together.

“I love you so much,” he murmured as he pulled you into his arms, his forehead resting against yours. “I’ve waited for this day forever.”

“I love you more,” you replied, heart racing, blossoming before you in vibrant colors. You melted against his touch, the future flashing through your mind in a golden glow.

Time seemed irrelevant in that moment as you bathed in the warmth of his touch. Here in your hidden sanctuary, a place created just for the two of you, nothing else mattered. Your love story was just beginning, and you couldn’t wait to write the next chapter together.

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you mamas” he whispered, standing up to pull you into his arms.

You buried your face in his shoulder, laughter and tears intertwining in a beautiful melody. In that moment, all the worries and fears faded away. Seung-hyun whipped out his phone and went straight to instagram.

"Can't wait to show u off baby, been waiting for this for years" The typing on his phone intensified as his smile grew wider by the second. You drifted off to sleep in his arms as the soft sound of his fingers tapping against the screen rocked you to a peaceful sleep.

When you finally woke, sunlight beamed through the leaves of the trees surrounding your home, casting playful patterns on the ground. Seung-hyun slept beside you, chest rising up and down with each breath he took. He was so at peace, and it made your heart swell all over again.

There was a constant 'bzzzz' coming from your nightstand, causing you to tiredly snatch your head in the direction of it. For some reason, your phone was blasting with notifications. Opening it, you were met with an instagram post from your very own fiancé.

@.ttt ✓

♫ Daniel Caesar • Blessed

ttt my beautiful fiancé

liked by xxxibgdrgn and others

view comments…

@.seunghyunswifey wait are we so serious rn??

@.5bigbangs chat this is me like fr

@.liyahsarchives she’s so pretty i can’t even hate

@.than0sworlddd I mean she’s okay..

@.daeholuvr okay let’s see ur face then !!

@.iheartkenshin so happy for them omgg

Reading the comments gave you a whirlwind of emotions. While most were supportive and happy for your relationship, there were others that weren’t as joyful. They called you names, degraded you, even wished the worse on your marriage. You knew they were just crazy fans, but it still hit the deepest part in your heart.

Still, you were thankful for this. Being public about your engagement had its prices to pay, and this was just one of them. No matter how bad it gets, no amount of hate would overpower your love for Seung-hyun.

Looking over at him sleeping peacefully in bed, the morning sun radiating off of his face, brought you comfort. As long as you had him, everything would be okay.

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