#but i checked and i already have them blocked as well. peace and love on planet earth

[mpregspn]

https://www.tumblr.com/tiktaalic/734464685498368000/heres-what-we-are-told-in-the-supernatural

how did they watch the same show :(

[spidybaby]

Not The Romantic Type | Part Three

Part One | Part Two

"Aren't you nervous?" Fer asks, hands busy helping Pedri fix his smoking. "I'm about to colpase from the excitement."

"I feel like I'm going to cry myself to sleep, but in a bad way, I can't believe that I'm actually on the top three to get this."

If you ask him, only in his dreams, he was able to be on the top three of the most likely to get the ballon d'or.

He improved so much over the years that he worked more on perfecting his game to be able to classifie into the best players.

He remembered the Golden Boy award, Messi won one before winning his ballon d'or. Now he's following into his idol footsteps.

"Mom wants a picture of you on the suit." Fer says as he snaps a picture of him. "Venga, let's go get some food, we still have that meeting with the constructor."

Pedri thank the designer, changing into his normal clothes back to meet the new contractor.

Fer and him are partnering in a restaurant, he trusted his brother as a chef for his whole career. It was obvious he was trusting him with something this big.

"We need an interior designer." The constructor tells them. "I know you have a vision of how you want this to look like. However, I feel that with a little help and more inspiration we can make this amazing."

"Vale, if you think it's what we need, then let's do it!" Pedri says excitedly. "Fer will be the one meeting up with this person since I'll be at the field."

"No problem, I think my girl will be the one. Not that I'm talking bad about the guy, but she's just a star when it comes to modern luxury style."

"Perfecto!" Fer smiles, "Let's meet up with her, I'm so excited."

Pedri was excited about everything, the ceremony in France, the new project, the possible winning of the Champions League.

He was focused on the field and nothing else. That's why Fernando decided to be the caregiver or the project, so Pedri would be all into his element.

The dressing room was euphoric, the players happy about winning the semifinals, they're playing the final at home.

"Visca al Barca" Gavi yells.

"Visca al Barca" they all second.

"And let's all celebrate to our next Ballon d'or, the magician Pedri." Ter Stegen shakes him. "Vamos Pedri!"

They throw all the water they can at him, making him smile and laugh at how much support he has from his friends. His second family.

After the celebration Ferran invited Pedri to a little party he planned. "No lo sé, tiburón. I'm kinda tired and I have to meet with the designer to measure the tux"

"A little party never killed nobody." Ferran insisted, but he denied. He needs rest and peace.

"Vale, pero me lo debes." He hugs him tight. "See you around, pepi."

He drives home, passing in front of the place where the restaurant will take place. He can't help but feel pride, this feels like an extension of their parents' hard work.

Fer was laying on the couch, checking some ideas the ID (interior designer) sent them.

"Hola, tonto." Pedri pulls lightly his brothers hair. "Are those the ideas this girl sent you?"

"Si, look at this, I love this idea she has." Fer pass him the iPad. He sees the ideas, loving all of it. "She's amazing, first thing and I'm already in with everything."

"Yes, this is cool." He checks everything, loving every idea. "When are you meeting her?"

"I think tomorrow." Fer gets up, walking to the kitchen and pulling out food. "But don't worry, I'll update you on everything."

✨️✨️✨️

"So, as you can see here." The constructor pointed to the ceiling. "We thought about lighting that can be dimmed as the sun light goes down."

"My brother and I loved that idea, specially because we have that at home recently installed and I think it will go so well."

"Perfect, our designer will come any minute now, she told me traffic was hectic and she was just a block away but stuck."

"It's okay, I get it. It took me an hour and a half to get here today, so I can't blame her." He laughs, interrupted by his ring tone." Excuse me for a second."

The constructor kept looking at his structure with your design. The sound of heels makes him turn, you were walking fast while holding your iPad and a few more things.

"I'm so sorry, Marc." You apologize, leaving your things on the desk. "I think today is not my day. Is the client mad?"

"Not at all, Y/n." He pats your back. "He's an amazing dude, super relaxed. You will hit it off real quick."

You smile relief. You didn't want to lose this client, specifically because Marc told you they wanted to expand if the first restaurant goes well, meaning you will expand with them.

"Let's meet him them." You nervously giggle. "What's his name again?"

"Fernando, he's a chef."

Before you can even connect the dots, Fer walks into the room, saying goodbye to the person on the line.

"Fernado, so nice you're bac. This is our interior designer, Y/n."

You smile at the sight of him. Haven't seen him since the breakup. He has more facial hair, and he's stronger and definitely more mature looking.

"We know each other." You smile, still surprised at his presence. "We go way back actually."

Fer is as astonishing as you are, opening his arms to greet you into a hug. "It's been a long time no see." He laughs, hugging you tight. "Gosh, I can't believe you're our designer."

"I can't believe you're my clients." You laugh. "Let's leave the talk for later, I want to explain this to you, and then we can use the time."

He nods, letting you explain every part of your ideas. He can't deny that even if it wasn't you, he loves the ideas and can't think of any way to make it better.

You ask him about colors, measurements, textures, and different stuffs you will need to prepare yourself for your work.

"Perfect! We can't say that this meeting was a success." Marc happily says. "I'll keep working while you two chat a little, excuse me." He wayves goodbye while Fer and you say goodbye.

"Entonces," Fer says, picking your side like he used to. "You're a well-known designer." You nod, smiling.

"And you're a well-known chef, Mister González." You laugh. "It's so nice to see you. How have you been?"

"It's been good, I'm older but I think wiser." He hands you your iPad. Helping you with some things. "What about you?"

"I mean, you can tell how I am. I got my dream job and I feel like nothing can go better than this." You shrug.

Fer wants to ask. He needs to ask if you have someone or not, but he doesn't want to intrude into your private life.

"So, how's the family?"

"They're good, nothing to report." You nod. "What about your family? How are Rosy and Fernando? How is the Tasca going?"

You can't help but miss them, specially Rosy, she acted like a mother to you, always worrying about you, taking care of you when you were sick.

"Mom and dad are so good. They are healthy." He smiles at the thought of them. "The Tasca is doing good. This is a little extension of it, but bigger."

"I'm so happy for you, Fer." You hug him, happy about him, making his dream of having his own restaurant come true. "How is Pedri?"

Fer is speechless, he didn't think you will ask about him, not after the way you two ended things.

"Bueno, no le va mal." He laughs. "He's on top three to win the ballon d'or, Barcelona is on the UCL finals, la Liga finals. He's at the top."

You smile, you're happy he is getting all the awards he deserves. He's always been amazing at his job.

"I'm happy for him." You nod. "Even tho I haven't really been aware of the team. I've been busy lately."

"Maybe you can catch up, he's also in this with me." Fer smiles as big as he can "and he's single." He elbow you.

You laugh at this, blushing a little at the confession. You did hear some rumors about him and some girls, deep down wanting for it to be just that, a rumor.

"Don't know why that's important." You giggle, looking down. "We been over for a long time now."

"Well, if you want him back, he's available to be picked."

"Fer." You laugh. "He wouldn't pick me, specially with all the girls he's probably getting." You look away while saying that.

He always got girls, and nobody could deny that. In your mind, they were girls who were hotter than you, prettier than you, more experienced than you.

That was something that made you feel insecure, not that he was engaging with them in any way, he always ignored them or just straight up blocked them.

But you had that little insecure voice from time to time that told you that he had better options and that you needed to step up.

"Don't say that." He says in a serious tone. "You were the best thing Pedri had."

Fer wasn't lying. After you left, Pedri went down a very dark path. He was going out, drinking, bringing girls home.

Everything to make him forget about you. Girls who looked nothing like you, who acted nothing like you.

Girls who went after his money and his fame. They were doing everything they could to show they were with The Pedri from Barcelona.

You on the other side, always made sure to be cautious about not getting recognized. You never wanted the attention that came with being his girlfriend.

You were with him since he was that Canarian guy at Las Palmas, that skinny boy who made it big.

You were there before the fame, before the fans, before the name. But you were his past.

"If you say so." You exhale. "I will send you a virtual look of everything with all of the things you picked."

The change of subject makes Fer think you may not be as interested in his brother as he thought you would be.

Maybe you moved out and didn't want to let it out. Maybe you changed your likes and now you're not up for a footballer.

"Thank you, I'll see you here next time I pass by?"

"You will, I'll be here a lot more."

With a hug goodbye you both walk out to your cars. You wave him as you enter your car, getting a honk from him.

Fer can't even believe the picture he's seeing. He thought Pedri was being honest with him when he said that no more one night stands with random girls whom the club invite to their parties.

He can't help but feel embarrassed about talking to you all this past days about how much Pedri would love to have you back.

But now his little brother is on all the magazines and gossip news of Barcelona and Spain as a taken man by this random influencer who obviously posted more about being at the party.

One part of him can't blame Pedri, he was in a committed relationship since he was sixteen, he obviously went out and went crazy after the break up.

But six years later was a little too much for him to keep his crazy behavior. He had a chance of winning the girl of his dreams back.

Fer can't help but think about you. If you see this news and pictures, you will definitely think all he's been saying is a joke and that he's playing with your feelings.

And how right he was, you can't help but feel anger. He's been spending all this time changing topics to Pedri.

"Pedri was busy but says hello."

"Oh Pedri can't wait to be here to see you."

"When you're back together, I'll be the happiest brother in law you will ever have."

Was he teasing you?

You don't even want to go to work today. You want to call in sick and spend all day in bed thinking about how stupid you are for believing Fernando's words.

But you won't. The breakup didn't stop you back then, and it won't now.

You will walk with your head up, ready to work in your nice outfit. You won't mind, you have so much to lose, he already lost you.

He lost you.

You didn't lose him.

"Buenos días!" You say, giving Marc his favorite coffee order as usual. "Any news I should now?"

"Well, the Calcutta Gold Marble is taking longer than expected but after that nothing to worry about."

You nod, leaving your things at your little station. "As always with Calcutta."

"By the way, Fernando was looking for you. He's outside talking with David." You nod, thanking him and walking to where Fer is.

You know he's about to mention the picture. He can't help it but be so obvious about things. But you will change the subject as much as you can't.

"Hey, boss." You smile "heard you wanted to talk to me."

"Hey, how are you?" He plays with his necklace.

"I'm good. I had a very nice sleep." You smile. "I want to tell you, the Calcutta Gold Marble we picked for the bar area is taking more time. Don't worry about it. That's normal with that material, but just a heads up."

He half smiled, not sure how to approach you. He wants to say sorry. He wants to kick his brother.

"I'm sorry." He spat, can't even think straight due to the blame he feels. "You probably saw the picture and -."

You sigh, not wanting to have this conversation this early. "Fer, let's focus on what we need to focus."

"I just feel like I need to apologize."

"You don't. Let's move to what's important here. Your restaurant."

He understood quickly, not bringing the topic again. That made you relax. Before this project you were fine not thinking about Pedri. You are fine now.

You focus on making this project happen. You wanted Fer to have the best reaction when he sees his project finish.

✨️✨️✨️

"So, are you nervous about tomorrow's match?" The press guy asks him. "It's the finals for the UCL, and then you have to go to France for the Ballon D'or. You have a pretty crazy schedule."

"Bueno, I think I've always had a crazy schedule." He laughs, making the interviewers laugh too. "But I'm not nervous, I trust my team, I have a big trust in all the work we've been doing. We trust out Mister, so to me it's about focusing on staying healthy, making goals and winning."

"Walk us through the process you have for your next trip to France."

"Joder, it's not that much. If I'm honest, I have the tux, have the shoes, have my family, don't think I need anything else."

"Pedri, we got many requests to ask you if you don't walk with a ballon that night, will we see you walking with a special someone?"

He half smile at that question, knowing he fucked up by getting too close to María at the party.

"I don't have a girlfriend. If that's what you're asking." He shrugs. "I'm single. And probably the only lady I will be going to hug during the ceremony and after is my mom. Thank you."

He walks away, mad at himself for allowing this to happen again. He knows this girls just want the hype attached to his name. Specially now, with all the winnings of the club.

"Dude, you okay?" Gavi asks, noticing his frown. "What did they say?"

"They asked if I'm walking out that fucking auditorium with someone, es una putada, I will celebrate the week I don't get linked with some random girl."

Gavi lift his eyebrow. "Si, but the rumors don't just appear." he scuffs and turn to his locker.

"What do you mean?"

"Pedri, you used to be out and about with a different girl every other week. You flew this girl to Manchester. When you came back, you had this other girl in a new hotel. You're doing this to yourself."

He can't even argue because it's true. He did all those things. He flew all these girls. He fucked up his reputation.

"Me cago en la puta." He threw the towel at the inside of his locker. "I just wish I can have some fucking privacy."

"Then don't involve yourself with girls who only care to expose that they're with you." He hits him with his jersey. "Dude, you can go out and find a nice girl who will want a relationship and not just sex and a picture."

He nods, stresses about the topic already. Gavi is right. So is Ferran when he advise him not to mess with every girl that flaunt at him.

And when Fer tries to get some sense into him finding someone to settle to. Someone who will be happy to welcome him after a long day, someone who wants to grow a family with him.

He doesn't want that. Not without you.

He agreed to move out that day when you asked him to be happy, to find someone who would celebrate all his victories.

But he had that. He had you.

He lost you.

The game was about to finish, the extra time about to finish.

The Bayern had a corner. So they have to step up and prevent them from scoring. Just two minutes more and that's it.

"Vale, a ver." He yells, catching up the attention of the players near him. "Marc, just this cover up and the Champion is ours, please catch it." He makes them laugh. "Fermin, cover Davies. Gavi, cover Saliba. I'll cover their number 10."

They all nod, positioning themselves. They were nervous, this was their chance. This was their final chance.

When Marc let the ball go, Gavi was at the right place at the right time. He hit the ball with his feet, making it go out of the goalkeeper area.

Raphinha runs away with it. Getting the ball as far as possible from their area. Just when he's trying to make a assist to Pau, the referee blows the whistle.

Pedri runs to Gavi and Fermin. Hugging them while screaming. The public was as static as they are, cheering for them.

They won. They got the Champions League.

He look over at where his family is, they're screaming and jumping. Everybody is, the whole stadium is.

Running to his parents open arms. He can't help the tears of happiness as he hugs his family.

Feeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr added to his story

You are happy for him, you can't lie to yourself like you do to other people.

You feel proud, he got everything he ever wanted, he got la liga, he got the Champions and he's probably will get the Ballon.

And he did what you asked him to do. He got himself someone to celebrate all that with. Someone who will make him happy.

The sour taste in your mouth haven't left since you saw that picture of him with that girl at the party.

He left you behind, like you asked him to.

You tried to focus on the work you were doing, turning the tv off to pay more attention.

You can't, your mind goes back to the way things used to be. He made mistakes, and you accepted all those mistakes because you loved him.

While he is at his party, with his family and his new girl. You are trying to forget about the memories of him.

You fix all the things Fer asked you to fix in the design, making the things he wanted as similar as possible as he explained.

You texted him, asking him if he was able to come see you to approve everything so you order the material.

Fer answers you while he opens the door of his home. He was still ashamed about the picture situation. He could sense the change in your attitude before and after that picture.

"I need your help, I don't think I can walk upstairs by myself." Pedri whine, he drank more than he should, making him dizzy.

Fer helps him, carrying him while walking upstairs. "Pedri. You need to help me just a bit."

He feels bad, he doesn't want to celebrate alone. All his teammates with their partners and kids and he's alone.

Yes, he has his parents, his brother, this family and friends. But he needs a hug at night when he gets insecure. He needs a shoulder to cry.

He craves intimacy, not sexual intimacy. He wants to feel secure with someone to the point of trusting all his worries and deepest secrets.

He wants someone to know his family, to sit at his parents' table and have a relationship with them.

"I'm sad," he confess. "Am I allowed to be sad?"

Fer can't even understand where this is coming from. He never saw signs of Pedri being sad or never heard anybody telling him to suck it up.

"Pepi, you can be sad." He reassured him. "Why are you sad? Tell me"

Pedri just shakes his head, not even sure how to approach the topic. "I miss my life back when I was twenty."

Fer understood, his brother carries a lot of responsibility on his shoulders, especially now with the whole <he needs to bring the ballon d'or home just like Messi>

"How can I help you, pepi?"

"If you have a magic wand that can bring me back to when I was happy and didn't have to fuck a girl every night to feel something, please use it."

He frowns, not sure how to reassure his brother. He knew Pedri felt alone. He can tell. He told him off about his sex life.

Not shaming him, but making him understand that the pattern he was following was not healthy at all.

"I can help you by not leaving you alone." He hugs him, pating his back lightly to calm him down. "I'm here, always will."

He helps Pedri take his clothes off and get into bed, he wants to check him in case he feels down again.

Once Pedri is passed out, he tries to plan something, how can he help him?

He picks his phone to text his mom that they're home. He sees the last text he sent is to you. The light bulb on his head turns.

He can help him, he's not with anyone, not that girl at the party and is done with the playtime every other week.

If he asks him to go to the meeting and approve the things you need, you can meet and reconnect.

He just needs his brother to be ready tomorrow to meet you. He knows he still thinks about you, and you might still do the same.

He texts you, asking you to meet at four p.m., by that time his brother will be up and fresh to see you.

Feeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr added to his close friends

"I don't even want to be near a drink in my life." Pedri makes a disgusted face, he needs a whole gallon of water.

"Finish the drink so we can go."

The drink looks bad, very bad. Even tho it was just a tea with no sugar. "Maybe I'll just go brush my teeth."

Fer feels excited. He wants his plan to go well. He's anxious but happy. He knows it's about time you two make a move and solve what needs to be solved.

"Vamos, big head." Pedri smack the back of Fer head. "You drive, I can't do nothing yet."

The trip was not as long as usual. The streets were lonely and Fer was driving slowly. He confirmed you were coming before leaving the house.

When he parked, he noticed Marc's car parked in front of the building. To his luck, the parking lot was being modified, so he needed to park in the nearby building.

"Oye, I'll find somewhere to park. There's a little office, white door to the left. Wait for me there."

He does as he's told, walking with his head down. Still feeling the pain from all the drinking he did.

"Hola?" He asks, opening the door a little before entering.

He looks at all the things on the walls, the chair textures, the floor wood, the bar design, the lamps options.

He's in love with all the ideas, with the little real-life version of what the restaurant will look like. With the little pink pen notes the designer left. The door opening can't bother him. Looking at all the planning that they made in so little time.

You can't even blame him, you weren't paying much attention either. Focusing on answering Marc's text about something related to a change that needed to he approved as soon as possible.

"Hola Fer. Sorry I haven't gotten a chance to greet you properly. I've been so busy with all this little things."

You open your bag to search for your iPad, wanting to show him everything quickly to move out and not waste more time.

Pedri turns quickly, the sound of your voice amazes him. You're there after so long. After all this time.

"Hey about the Marble, I think it's best if we just switch the whole piece. This is taking so long." You won't turn, he won't say a word. "Fer?"

The two of you are just standing there, looking at each other, no words in between. Nothing.

Pedri thought a lot about what would happen if he ever saw you again. Definitely all that planning went out the window the second he heard your voice.

You practice too, what if you find him in a bar some day in Barcelona? You wouldn't mind it. But you're minding it very well.

"Hola." You finally say, voice breathless and gone.

His eyes are rooming you up and down. He can't help but point at every little detail that's different about you, different in a good way. You feel the heat coming up your cheeks. He's there, looking more mature, more handsome.

You shake your head, you have one job to do, getting the changes approved to the project move forward.

"Is your brother coming? Because I really need him to approve this for me." You grab your iPad, tying to look uninterested.

"Oh, I can approve it." He extend his hand and you hand him the device. "Just explain to me what this is exactly?"

While you explain every little detail about the changes, showed him how it was before to compare and to see if he likes it.

He likes everything, but there's something about the way you talk, something about the way you smell, you didn't change that perfume you love.

"I like your hair." Your hair is longer. He loves that. You always talked about wanting to let it grow to try new hairstyles.

You smile, the closeness not helping the situation. "Thank you." You say softly.

You might act calm, but from the inside, you're about to burst because of the way he looks. It's a good thing he changed his style.

Also his perfume, he's using the same perfume you gave him once, he didn't change it. And that facial hair is gone, he's shaved and clean.

"Do you like how everything is, or do you want to make any more changes?" You ask, trying to act professional.

"I mean, you're a star. This looks amazing." He praise you. Making you feel a wave of pride. "Fer will love this."

Your smile grows, you're happy he likes the changes. But you like even more the way he's praising you work like never before.

"So how are you?"

You close the iPad, sending Marc an "approval" copy of the digital prototype. "I'm good, been working hard and I've been busy with it." You shrug, not sure what else to say. "Congrats on the UCL, I heard you guys won."

He smiles, winning the game with his two goals was more than he ever expected. "We did, thank you."

"two goals huh?" You tease him. Feeling a little confident.

He rolls his eyes playfully. Laughing at your teasing. "I'm kind of proud of that, I'm in my Messi era? Or something like that."

You both laugh, you missed this, miss having someone to joke to. You back away from his circle, haven't seen his friends since then, when you are in Tenerife you won't go to his parents Tasca.

You missed having someone from your past in Barcelona. Someone who knew you before the city, someone who knew you as well as he did.

"That's great." You pat his arm. "I guess I'll see you around." You walk with him to the entrance. "Tell your brother I'll text him, I still need to show him some things."

"Sure, if not, you can text me. It won't hurt if I get a little more involved." He throws the jab at you, noticing your little lip smile.

"I'll ask your brother to send me your number." You say, stopping in from of the exit door. "Bye." You walk over the construction area, he can't keep his eyes away from you.

When he's out, Fernando is waiting for him in his car, the smile he has, knowing what he did. He acts as if nothing happened, he couldn't find parking and wait for you.

"Hey, was everything looking good?"

Pedri scuff, shaming his head while smiling. "Hijo'puta" he jokes, hitting him in the head. "You didn't told me she was here"

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Joder, she looks beautiful. Her smile hasn't changed at all, and her eyes, mierda, are shining like crazy."

Fernando is happy hearing Pedri talk about you, he haven't seen him this happy in a long time. Haven't talk about anyone like this in a long time.

"Her perfume, Dios mio. She hasn't changed that perfume, the same since we met." He's still rambling about you. "You didn't tell me, why?"

"I thought it was for the best, plus you were finding out once you started coming."

"Would it be crazy if I confess that I might be in love still?"

The smile on their faces is comical. Fer knew he never forgot you, and Pedri was just admitting it out loud.

"No." He laughs. "You have one more chance, dude. Don't blow it."

And he doesn't.

Every chance he gets now, he will visit the place. He will be there even tho there's nothing of interest happening.

He loves making small talk with you. Having you explain everything you do or everything you order.

It's weeks and weeks of him doing this, bringing you a coffee or drink every time. You can't help but smile at him, still remembering your order of drink.

Also if he has training in the evenings, he will bring you something to eat for lunch. Worrying because you don't give yourself a little break. In his words.

"This is what I was telling you the other day. If you put this on the bar, it will look better than this other one." You show him, thinking he's playing attention.

"Let me take you out on a date."

You smile, not sure what to say. You want to accept, you still have feelings for him. But you don't want to feel what you used to feel when you were with him.

"Please, I know a place you would love."

"Pedri, I don't think it's a good idea. We are working together and if this doesn't go well its just going to be awkward for us."

"It will not, please just give me a chance." he beggs, grabbing your hands. "If you don't like it or you don't feel good I promise I will back off."

His hands on yours, thumbs caressing your fingers. You want to say no, not repeating the pattern. But you want to give him the chance his asking.

"Vale, but you have to promise me that you won't wear those ugly skinny jeans."

He laughs, he knows how much you used to hate those kind of jeans. Always asking him to let you into his closet to get rid of them.

"If you want to you can dress me, I'll be Ken and you can style me all the way."

You shake your head no while laughing, "I don't think you'll like me throwing half your closet."

If you had. A chance back then, those Jean shorts and skinny jeans were a must in the out of the closet list.

"Let's go tonight, I'll pick you up and everything."

You nod, writing your address in a pink post it. Thing that make him smile, you loved leaving little notes for him everywhere in his house or car.

"pick me up by 8?" You ask, making him nod. "Te veo entonces." You kiss his cheek goodbye.

You do your best work trying to act normal. When you're on your car you let a big scream. You were excited.

It's been six years, obviously it was nerve breaking.

You hurry home, you have time to calmly change and get ready. You picked a nice outfit, nothing too casual or too formal. The perfect middle point.

You have a long everything shower. Making sure to be as smooth as possible. It's not like you're thinking about doing anything but just to be sure.

Pedri was doing basically the same thing, making sure everything is clean and nice for the night.

He even make sure his car is in neat condition, asking Fer to go to a car wash to get it ready.

"You look fine, niño." Fer reassure him again. "vete ya, or you'll be late."

"Deseame suerte."

"You don't need it, just don't fuck this up and you'll be fine." Fer laughs.

You pass around your livingroom, you boots heel making a sound with every strep. You wanted this to go well.

The doorbell made you freeze. You check mentally if everything is good. Check yourself on the little mirror before opening the door.

"Hola, guapa."

"Hola." You blush a little at the compliment. "What is this?"

He hands you the small bouquet of your favorite flower. "A little souvenir from me, to you."

You small at the little game of words, you taught him that. Every time you got him something you used to say that to him.

You like how he tries to fix the past by not making the same mistakes, he bought you flowers, like you say you wanted back then.

"Gracias, get in, I'll put them on water."

He checks your house, he can't deny that he loves your taste, always did. You have a beautiful house.

His eyes land on a specific blanket, he gifted you that on your second anniversary. He remembered that you wanted the blanket and since he was winning some money on Las Palmas. He went out and got it for you.

"You still have this?" He caresses the material. Memories of how happy you were when you got the gift.

You check what he was talking about, smiling a little when you see what he means. "I do. I love that blanket." You grab your bag and stand next to him. "Plus, I usually watch movies or take naps on the couch, so it's the perfect location."

You walk to your door, making him follow you. "I didn't think you had it still."

"That means you don't have any of the gifts I've ever given you?" You joke, knowing most of the things you gave him were clothes.

He thinks for a second, he does have a ring you gave him for his birthday, he loves that ring. Or the bracelet with an eight engraved.

"I do." he smile, he had everything you gifted him. "I have the ring you gave me when I turned eighteen."

When you walk to the car you see a black Lexus. "Where is the Porsche?" You ask as he opens the door for you.

"Had to upgrade a little bit."

You see a crazy clean car, smelling fresh. You laugh a little, he was never this clean with his car.

The drive to the place was confortable, he asked you about your past works and you asked him about football. The usual.

Dinner was fine, you did liked the place and the food. He was right about it. He even ordered dessert and acted as if the waitress had forgotten the other one just to share it with you.

"It was amazing, thank you very much." You say, turning back to face him as you reach your front door. "I had so much fun"

He steps closer to you, hands on your waist. "That means this is me winning my chance with you?"

Your breathing accelerates. His closeness is making things to you. The tip of his nose is touching yours. You nod at his question, unable to say something.

He smiles, he can tell by your accelerate breathing and the way your hands are on his arms that you don't mind him being this close.

He lay his head on your shoulder, hands on your back and thumbs caressing your sides. Your hands roam his arms. Scratching lightly.

"You have practice tomorrow." You say as you finally get some sense back into you. "And it's getting late."

"I think they will be fine without me there. I just won us the UCL."

His breathing on your neck is tempting. But you want to take things slowly, you want to take baby steps with him.

"I don't." You try to think of an excuse on why he can't stay. "I don't have an extra toothbrush."

He laughs, understanding the message. He wants to go slowly too, proving that he's not the same one who hurt you.

Plus, you are not one of his one night stands, he doesn't want you to feel like one. "Oh no! That means I have to go home." He kiss your collarbone and pull away from you.

You fix a piece of his hair, hand on his arm, securing yourself. "I like your hair like this." Your nails brush his hair. Making him close his eyes at the sensation.

"I'll come see you after training." He pulls away from you. "I really want to take you out again, I missed this."

"I would love that." You kiss his cheek goodbye. Entering you house and waving him a quick goodbye.

The whole trip home was him and his mom on the phone. He always trusted Rosy with anything, her and his father were the first people he calls when something good or bad happens.

He's mad, throwing his phone on the coffee table next to him.

He doesn't understand how people get to judge him based on things that are not related to football. On the field, he does the work. He makes sure he does assists, he even got some goals like the two of the last game.

He's good, he won't say otherwise. It took him so much effort to admit that he's as good as everybody else and saying he's not is unfair to his work and progress.

"Don't mind the things people say on the internet about you."

"I can't help it. Those random dudes on x saying things about me as if they know me."

"Their opinion don't matter." You pull him by the shoulders. He lays on top of you, hiding his face on the crock of your neck. "Don't let a random person affect your day."

You two have been seeing each other for three months, he makes sure to always go check on you after or before practice.

Always bring you something, some flowers, some coffee or a drink. Something to eat. Named it, and it'll be there.

He loves how much you two progress, and you love how much he showed you he changed, how much different he is from who he was back in the day.

"Don't go to work today, stay with me." He pouts.

You smile, nails scratching his scapl. "I have to go, either way your brother will be blowing my phone with questions and worries about every other thing."

"Block him." He jokes, knowing that Fernando was a perfectionist and wants this project to be as perfect as possible. "Seriously do." He kiss your shoulder before getting off of you.

"If I do I'll be fired." You joke back.

He makes a face. "They can't fire you. I'll get you back in." kissing your lips as he hugs your waist, head on your lap. "I don't want to do anything today."

Your fingers scratch his head, trying to calm him down. "I'll be here later, we can watch something on tv."

He nods, loving the feeling of your hands on his hair. Calming down from his frustration. He missed that, the level of confort, not needing to hide to feel intimacy, he missed feeling happy with a girl.

"I wish I could stay, but right now, I'm the one who calms your brother down when he gets perfectionist with every little detail." He understood, enjoying the feeling of being in your arms.

✨️✨️✨️

"Am I crazy or are the lights way too yellow?" Fer asks, judging every little detail he feels is wrong. "And the material, do you think is okay?"

You wanted to laugh, this was a very common thing with clients, they all freak out with the progress.

"Fernando, please don't worry. I promise this would look amazing in a few weeks when things are more placed and organized."

He nods, going to question Marc about something he thought was not right. You move to your office, wanting to organize your things.

You answer Pedri's text, and he told you he was bored and lonely without you. You laugh and answer with a picture of your messy desk.

You hear a knock on your door. "Can I come in?" When you see who it is, your eyes light up.

"Oh my God! Hello." You say happily.

"How are you, nena? I missed you."

"I've been good, working like crazy. You know me, kinda workaholic." You laugh. "How are you? How's Fernando and how's the Tasca doing?"

"We're fine, the Tasca is doing great, a lot of people. You need to go back and pay us a visit." Rosy says, taking a seat next to you. "Fer told me you were working with them, I'm so happy for you."

You love Rosy, she was like a mother to you. She took care of you when you needed it. She cooked for you, she went to your high school graduation when your family couldn't.

She was special to you, really loved her like a family, the same with Fernando. They were family.

You got away from them after the breakup, you needed space and so did Pedri. You thought that invading his space by being near his family was wrong. That's why when you were on Tenerife you didn't went out to see them.

"I am, I didn't know it was them when I got into the project. I'm happy I did. I've missed them."

You talk for a while about different topics, mostly her telling you about all the things that happened all this years.

You also told her about your years, how you ended up with this job and how it was. It was nice to have the talk you two had.

"I missed you, I miss my daughter." She confess. You smile at that. You missed them too.

"I missed you too, sorry I didn't come back to your place. I thought it was the right thing to do after the breakup."

"I get it." She grabs your hands. "Pedri also told me that you guys were trying to see if things work out again."

You smile, nodding. "We are, I feel like we both want that and I feel this is the right thing to do."

"I hope it works out for you two, I want my girl back." She hugs you.

You two talk a little more until Fer went looking for his mom. You grab your things and walk with them to the entrance. You all say goodbye to Marc, asking him to text or call you if he needs anything.

You say goodbye to them, saying that you will call Fer to meet up for lunch on another occasion.

✨️✨️✨️

"Do you want a little smoothie?" You ask Pedri as he walked downstairs. "I made a banana and strawberry one."

He nods, walking over to you. He wraps his arms around your waist, kissing your shoulder and your neck.

"I have training at two." He says in a raspy voice. "And I have to pack, will you help me, preciosa?"

You nod, passing him a glass with smoothie. You kiss his forehead and fix his hair a little. "We can work on your luggage after training. I have a meeting and I can't keep missing work." You bop his nose.

He smirks, he knows you work hard, but you have been missing some days of work thanks to him. You didn't have that much problem since they were the one who hired you, and Marc was okay with your working from home.

"I'll pick you up after practice." He smile, kissing you. "I'll get us some food and we can watch your favorite movie while you help me."

You both enjoy your smoothies, talking a little about different topics. Not caring about anything else but each others company.

He planned to ask you to go to the ceremony with him in Paris, he wanted you there, he needed you as much as his family there.

He went to practice, the technical team and his teammates organized him and Gavi a little celebration for good luck.

"I need to know what cream this dude is using because those bags under his eyes disappeared in no time." Raphinha jokes. Hugging him.

They are all in the bathroom, having a chat while getting clean and fresh to go home.

"He's using vitamin love." Ferran jokes from the bathroom. "He's a lover boy now."

They all hit Pedri's head while congratulating him about being in love. He enjoys the messing.

"Venga, this is not a crazy new." He says, fixing his hair.

"It is." Fermin says, hitting the back of his head. "You were the whore of the group and Ferran is here, take that in."

"Mira capullo, I'm a saint." Ferran yells.

"Joer', it was not that bad." He tried to justify himself.

"It was." Gavi says. "That why we are happy that you have a stable relationship. With someone you love and who loves you." Gavi hugs him. Making all the others hug him too.

After the shower chat, he left looking for some flowers, looking for some fresh food from your favorite place, your favorite dessert.

He knocks on your door. When you open, you're greeted by a big bouquet of flowers, you smile taking them from him.

"Hola." He smiles. "You look so pretty." He close the gap between you two kissing your lips. "I have our dinner in the car, ready to go?" You nod, putting your flowers in a pot before leaving with him.

Your relationship has improved, you love the effort he's making.

When you broke up, you told him he didn't have time for you, that he never gave you flowers, he never cared for you to feel like you matter to him.

He wants to change that. He wants you to feel validated, and he wants you to feel loved. Because he loves you and would change a thing about you.

"I have a little something for you." You say, picking the little box and putting it in your purse. "Let's go, guapo."

He asks about it, questioning you about the content inside the box. You told him that he has to wait until later to find out.

When you two arrive at his house, you help him with his bag. Talking about something you saw on tv the other day.

"I forgot to tell you, Gavi and Ferran say hi." He says as you walk into his room. Food in hand. "And Ferran wants to know if you can unlock him on Instagram." He laughs.

You laugh with him, promising you will do it later. You left your phone charging downstairs, so he had to wait.

"Do you know what you want to take?" You ask him, your eyes fixed on the screen as you search for your movie. "It's cold, and you have to have some outfits just in case. What if you got an outing that needs something formal?"

He nods. "I have a list on my phone of what I want to take, some cargos, a bumper jacket, the suits are being taken by Dolce."

He pulls a luggage, opening it on the bed so you can help him pick the clothes and help him with organizing.

It was a fun time. You ate while organizing and feeding him most of his food to help him some more.

"Oye." He calls your attention. "I want to speak with you about something."

You nod, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. He was standing in front of you. "Tell me."

He takes a deep breath. He needs to be prepared for a bad answer in case you don't feel comfortable with the invitation.

"I want you to know that no matter what, you can say no, and I'll be okay with that." He began saying. "I want you to come with me to the ceremony." He says.

He takes a few more breaths. Trying to prepare himself for the question. "I want you to come with me and my family. I want you all there. My mom, my dad, Fer, and you." He grabs your hands. "The thing here is, I know our relationship is not established as in right now, but I want to know if you would like to come with me as my girlfriend."

You smile. Thumbs caressing his hands.

You need to talk with him before compromising yourself again.

Yes, he did progress. Yes, he did change. Yes, he was better.

But you can't swipe things under the rug. You can't be one of those who start over without making peace with the past.

"Can you sit down with me?"

He nods, taking a seat next to you. He thinks you're saying no, preparing himself for that.

"I want to talk to you." You began. "Before answering your questions, I need you to compromise with me on something."

He nods, already agreeing with whatever you want to say.

"I need you to compromise and tell me if you ever feel like what we have is bothering you. If what we do is making you question our relationship. I want you to be honest with me. To trust me and to be straightforward with how you feel and how I make you feel."

He's surprised, he thought he was getting bad news but no.

"If we are doing this again, Pepi, talk to me." You giggle. "I want your honesty, I want your opinions, I want the long run with you. But I need a compromise." You grab his hands. "I'm not getting younger, I want a family, I want someone to come home to after a long day, after a sad day or just after work. Someone to spend my weekends with watching something or reading a book. And if you can't do that or simply just don't want to. It's okay." You smile at him. "Just be honest."

He frees his hands, grabbing your cheeks and kissing you. "I promise you that I will be the most honest person you'll ever know." He smiles. "I promise that you never were a bother and never will. I want the same as you, I want everything."

You hug him tightly. Sitting on his lap as his hands roam up and down your back.

It felt right. It felt necessary.

You finally got your past to be friends with your present.

"Now about what I asked, if you could answer." He says, giggling a little.

"Yes, to everything." You kiss his lips.

"Also about the gift?" He asks, curious.

"Yeah, you'll wait more than just a few minutes." You say, caressing his cheeks. "But I'll be worthy."

✨️✨️✨️

"Do I look fat in this tuxedo?" Fer asks.

Everyone in the room takes a look at him, questioning if it was the nerves of the situation or if he was serious.

"No." His father says, he wanted to laugh but kept it.

They continue helping with getting ready, leaving soon after everything seems under control.

Pedri and you were alone, finishing with your clothes and looks for the gala. You reassure him that his tux and hair looked good.

"Amor, everything will go the way it is supposed to go." You kiss him quickly. "Trust yourself."

He nods, hugging you to calm his nerves. He can't deny that he's not feeling as confident as he says in the news or interviews.

A knock on the door makes you separate. "Pedri, ready?" His manager asks.

He nods, taking a last look of himself in the mirror. When he's about to leave, your eyes caught the glare of the little box in the nightstand.

"Wait, your gift." You say, walking to the furniture and grabbing the box to take it to him. "Open it before we leave."

You were excited for him to see what's inside. You kept it a surprise until today, knowing he would be less nervous like this.

"How?" He asks, taking the tux bow out of the box. He recognized the piece. "I thought I lost it."

You smile. The bow has a meaning for him. He bought it before leaving to play for Las Palmas. He spent a good part of his savings on it.

"You told me, before leaving the island, that this was the bow you were going to wear when you got your first ballon d'or." You help him with taking the bow he has on and putting the new one in place. "And tonight, this is happening."

He feels his eyes getting teary. He can't help but think about his little self buying the bow at the local shop.

He knew back then that no matter what, he was going to work hard to get into that nominations and into the podium.

And he did.

"Te amo." He kiss you quickly. "Ahora vamos por ese jodido balón." He laughs, making you laugh. (I love you. Now let's go get that damn ballon)

pedri

Liked by pablogavi, fcbarcelona and 3

8,566,730 others

pedri De las mejores noches de mi vida ❤️

Thank you Culers for all the love and support. Without you, this wouldn't be happening. This is not only mine but yours too ❤️

View all 2,465,739 comments

fcbarcelona Our winner 🏆❤️💙

ferrantorres grande hermano ❤️8️⃣🐐

leomessi felicidades Pedri 🐐 bienvenido al club de campeones 💪🏻

🏷: @gadriezmannsgirl @mbappe-pedri @coco6514 @coco657 @gavisfanta @jajajhaahaha @urmotheris @dessxoxsworld @girlidekanymore @lanussysworld @largavidaalsol

[ellecdc]

Hi!! I saw your requests were open and I’d love to take a shot with one!

So I have a partner that I’ve been with for almost a year and it wasn’t until the last few months that I’ve realized how toxic and horrible the relationship is. So- I was hoping that I could request a poly!marauders x reader (starting platonic and then romantic?) and reader has a partner that’s really toxic and the boys help the reader figure out how to break up and take care of herself (or themself/himself!) and then once the reader and the partner break up, the marauders take care of reader and then eventually admitting their love to reader and etc etc etc you take away the rest!!! Thank you so much!!!!!! I love love love your work!!!!!!

ok first of all: if you haven't already, please dump them? they're not worth it babes. if it costs you your peace - it's too expensive thank you for your request; hope you love it <3

poly!marauders x fem!reader

CW: brief mention of previously toxic relationship, grief over end of relationship

You knew this was for the best, but it didn't make it any less painful.

It'd been about a month and a half since you and your...ex broke up, and exactly 12 days to the minute of no contact. Your mind was still reeling from the previous few weeks since you'd decided to finally end things before you finally blocked their number.

It proved to you that you had done the right thing; they were not good for you, and they're behaviour only proved that.

So why did you still feel so incredibly wrong?

You felt a mixture of things. Overwhelming grief at not only the loss of someone that was a huge part of your life, but also grief over the loss of everything you ever hoped your life would be with that person.

You also felt guilty; guilty for ending things (even though it was the right thing to do), guilty for spending so long trying to force a relationship that wasn't meant to last, and guilty for falling in love with the potential that someone had - which only left both of you disappointed.

It was probably overkill to have turned your phone off completely, but after blocking their number, you couldn't help but jump every time your phone went off - thinking, hoping, dreading that it might be your ex. You also couldn't handle scrolling through instagram to see all of your other friends, happy, smiling, in love, and not feeling like their world was falling to pieces.

Your pity party was interrupted by a gentle knock on the door. You were considering ignoring it when a less gentle knock followed which you recognized to be Sirius'.

"You don't have to bang, Sirius." You could hear James chide quietly as you unlocked and swung the door open.

The somewhat terse conversation ended abruptly as the three figures beamed at you: James widely, Remus kindly, and Sirius cheekily.

"Well hello, gorgeous!" Sirius cheered at you as he pulled you into a quick embrace.

"Uh, hi!" You said back, though your voice sounded higher than usual. When was the last time you'd used it?

"Mind if we come in?" Remus asked gently before James and Sirius were shouldering their ways into your apartment anyway.

"Uhm, yeah. Sure." You said as you followed them in.

James pulled you into his side as Sirius made himself at home on your couch and Remus sat at your kitchen table. "How've you been, sweetheart?" He asked.

You blushed at the nickname and ducked your chin to your chest. "I'm alright, James. How have you guys been?"

"Miserable." Sirius answered immediately. "Completely miserable without our favourite girl around. It's been too long."

"You don't have to apologize," Remus interjected as you began to defend yourself. "We just wanted to check in, that's all."

You smiled at the three boys, suddenly very self-conscious of your apartment and your outfit - neither of which had been tidied nor changed in the last few days.

"Come sit with me." Sirius said as he patted the couch beside him and then opened his arm for you to sit under.

You moved towards him obediently and he quickly pulled you in tight to his side and pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

"So, what can we do? Can I help you tidy?" Remus asked enthusiastically.

You immediately shook your head no as your eyes widened in horror. "Absolutely not, no. Thank you, but honestly, I'm fine."

Sirius groaned as he leaned to whisper into your ear conspiratorially, you startled and turned to face him, only to have your noses centimetres apart.

"Listen, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Rem here has been just sick with worry, and it would really make him feel better if you let him feel like he's helping you." He stage whispered as he motioned toward the said worried boy with his head.

Had you not been so shocked by the lack of distance between you and Sirius, you may have seen Remus gently roll his eyes at Sirius' theatrics.

"Help the poor sod out, give him something to do." He encouraged you with a salacious wink.

"I, uhm... I guess I've been meaning to catch up on the dishes?" You stated as a question, grimacing at the days worth of dishes in your sink.

Remus jumped up happily throwing a "Got it!" over his shoulder.

"What about me, gorgeous? Anything I can do? Maybe laundry?" James asked eagerly.

"You are not doing my laundry, James." You answered bluntly.

"Got it, got it. Okay, maybe I can clean your bathroom?"

Somehow, that was worse.

"Okay, you can do my laundry." You acquiesced.

James whooped, actually whooped, like a cartoon character before he started down the hallway he knew lead to your bedroom.

"See? Look how happy you made them." Sirius said as he kneaded at the flesh of your thigh with his hand.

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"What's your job?" You asked.

You suddenly felt like it was the wrong question when Sirius' grin grew exponentially. "Oh, I get to sit here with my favourite girl."

"We're taking turns, Pads!" James called from down the hallway.

"Semantics." Sirius muttered before he turned his attention back to you.

"Listen; I won't make you talk about this if you don't want to, but I need you to know that we're here for you, alright? Like really, really here for you; whatever you need. I know you've probably convinced yourself that you're all alone and unloved. But we need you to know that's not true. You're not unloved, never could be; not with us around."

Your sinuses filled painfully behind your eyes as you moved to hide your face into Sirius' shoulder.

"What did you do?" Remus asked Sirius, sounding (gently) horrified.

"Just told her we loved her."

James came out of your room at Remus' concerned tones. "We're supposed to be making her feel better, Pads." He sighed.

"You are." You muttered from your place in Sirius' shoulder.

It was true; you had convinced yourself you were all alone and completely unloveable. If even your ex couldn't manage to love you, how would anyone else?

But with Sirius' arms around your shoulder and his lips pressed into your hair, James coming up behind you two and giving your hand a comforting squeeze, and Remus running to put a pot of tea on for the lot of you like that might be what stitches your heart back together; you certainly felt loved.

[covetyou]

fools just wanna have fun

ao3 ⋆ main masterlist ⋆ series masterlist

pairing: Dieter Bravo x fat contortionist f!reader rating: Mature (18+ only!) warnings: no smut, Dieter's cock and balls, arguing as foreplay, references to past and hoped for sexual encounters (fingering, squirting, oral), clown!Dieter is a menace (but not explicitly clowny at all in this, for those with coulrophobia), drug use, reader is referred to as Sparkles and has a briefly mentioned latex allergy. word count: 1k summary: A quiet night is all he wanted. It's what he deserved after sweating his balls off out there in the ring all night. But, you have different plans - plans, he's certain, involve riding him until the sun comes up.

A/N: this is a follow on to for one night only (Frankie x Reader), but can be read totally independently of that fic. if you'd like more of this pairing, check out jester little bit more.

follow @covetedfics and turn notifications on for updates on future work

when the workin' day is done, oh fools, they wanna have fun, oh fools just wanna have fun...

Bravo the Clown's balls were sweating. They had been all fucking day. It's simply what you get when you're in the asshole of Florida dressed head to toe in colored polyester.

But he was free now. Free for the night, free from another fucking show and, most importantly, his balls were free.

He'd just pulled them out actually, yanking his waistband below them, letting them bunch up under his flaccid cock as he rolled another joint. The one he had just before the last show didn't quite hit the spot, but this one was sure to do the job. Especially now that his balls were finally cooling down.

Not that the peace and quiet lasts too long. It never does.

Before he can so much as find a lighter to light the joint resting between his lips, you slam your way into his trailer with a bang.

"What the fuck?!" He shouts, flinging the nearest thing to him - which just so happened to be his fucking lighter - at you as you stand there panting.

"Don't you dare light that," you say, pointing to him as you catch your breath. "Condoms. I need condoms."

This isn't the first time you've stormed in here, demanding sex of him wearing nothing much at all. It is the first time you seem to have ran here though. You're never usually this desperate for it, but he supposes there has been a lot of tension between the two of you lately. Not exactly sexual tension, more extreme general frustration directed at him rather than anything particularly mutual. Still, it was there, he'd sensed it, and now here you were, demanding a fuck from your favourite clown, already looking positively fucked out -

Wait.

"What the fuck," he says again, pointing right back at you. "I am not giving you my condoms. What about me?! I know that look, you're not leaving me high and dry, Sparkles."

You're practically snarling at him now, and fuck does he love you like this. Feisty. Definitely wet too, even if it's not because of him. Don't ask him how he knows, but there's something about the way your sweat smells that changes when you're get horny that never fails to make him hard.

"What about you? You are not cock blocking me again, Bravo."

Dieter scoffs. You always brought this up. It wasn't exactly his fault you were fucking a civilian out in the open like that. He was well within his rights to walk over and take one of the blankets you had under your head that day. They didn't belong to you, they didn't belong to anyone. They were communal. "That was one time, and he was a nerd anyway."

"A nerd with a massive dick and button mashing fingers. He was about to make me squirt and you came stumbling over. And you're forgetting the girl with the nipple piercings!"

With each angry flap of your arms, he can see your panties as your t-shirt rides up on your thighs. They look wet and fuck if he isn't jealous of whichever asshole is getting a turn between your legs tonight. It should be him, with his condoms. It's not fair.

"That doesn't count," he answers, crossing his arms over his bare chest with a pout.

"It does!"

"If there was no cock involved, I didn't cock block shit."

His dick is at full mast now, and he's surprised you haven't noticed. If you have, you haven't said anything, and usually you were very good about shouting at him when he had his dick out.

Instead, you just sigh. You give in. To him.

"I don't have time for this shit. The condoms, Dieter. Please."

And, quite frankly, it's no fun fighting with you if you're not going to fight back. That doesn't mean he's going to put his dick away, of course. There's no point. He's only going to play with it when you leave.

What he does do is point you to his condom stash kept in a tin under his trailer bench. He didn't exactly use them often. He didn't like them. But he did use them with you, or if he was taking a little knock at someone's backdoor, or even if someone looked a little less sanitary than he'd like. He did have standards.

He also could've got them out for you. But if he did that he wouldn't have been treated with the view of your ass he's currently getting. You always wear the tiniest little thongs for shows. They're the only things that won't show up around the edges of your glitzy costumes. It gets him going just thinking about them wedged up your ass as he watches you perform some nights - an activity that has made him late to his own performances more than once.

Right now, that tiny little thong is nestled right between your ass cheeks, your t-shirt hiding none of your modesty now that you're bending over in front of him. The gusset of your panties peeks out from between your plush thighs too, and it is absolutely fucking drenched. If he knew you'd be amenable to it, he'd be on his knees eating you from the back already, but he knew you. Only the lucky asshole waiting for you would be getting that privilege tonight.

"Gold packet," Bravo grumbles as you rifle through the tin, picking out a small handful of condoms like you plan on having a very eventful night.

"I know what ones are latex free, Bravo."

Because that is why you came here, to him, and not to anyone else. He's probably the only person in this whole place that carried the condoms you could use - the latex free ones that didn't smell like balloons.

You finally stand just as Dieter idly wraps a hand around his balls, giving them a gentle little squeeze, and with nothing more than a middle finger and the poke of your tongue, you go to leave his trailer.

"Oh, and Dieter?" you say, stopping in your tracks halfway out the door. "Max was looking for you."

"Shit."

His wank would have to wait.

tagging previous lovers of clown!Dieter: @beefrobeefcal @sp00kymulderr @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @clawdee @chronically-ghosted @dieterbravobrainrotclub @for-a-longlongtime

[obbystars]

⋆˙⟡ PINNED . . .

ALL DIVIDERS USED ARE BY @cafekitsune

Attempting to connect to MOON CHILD OBERON . . .

Success. Retrieving Information . . .

⟢ NAME: OBERON SOL

⟢ ALTERNATIVE DESIGNATIONS: OBBY / ORBY / ORB

⟢ PREFERABLE PRONOUNS: He / They

⟢ CONFIRMED AGE: 20 EARTH YEARS

INTERFERENCE FOUND . . .

CONNECTION DISRUPTED . . .

“Oh? Interested in my works, are we? Very well. Go and have a look.”

“Please note, I am currently not accepting requests.”

ROBLOX: PRESSURE

🌑 // THE MOON PROVIDES (NON-REQUESTS)

Z-13 [ SEBASTIAN SOLACE ]

⟢ DROWN IN THE DEEP

⟢ IT’S YOU!

⟢ WHEN LIGHT FADES

⟢ ENCOUNTER NIHILISM

⟢ WHEN MOTHER WAS HERE

⟢ SAFE HAVEN

🌑 // A GIFT BESTOWED UPON YOU (REQUESTS)

⟢ A special find brings peace

⟢ Aquarium date

⟢ General Headcanons

HONKAI STAR RAIL

🌑 // THE MOON PROVIDES (NON-REQUESTS)

BOOTHILL

⟢ PROMISE

⟢ SOMETHING STUPID

⟢ GENERAL HCS

🌑 // WRITTEN IN THE STARS (SERIES)

⟢ BLOOD N’ BONES (CANON X OC)

“All works have their notes, including what to expect and warnings. Do read them as it may save you some trouble.”

“If you’re interested in lore related details concerning me, I will provide those to you. I have no reason to be so secretive about who I am. My time at the Hadal Blacksite is…quite interesting.”

⟢ Z-222 Document

⟢ Arrival and containment breach

⟢ A Walk with Angels

“These are just written works that go well into detail. If you’re interested, considering checking the “listen to his story” tag. As of right now, there isn’t too much.”

“Hm, if those did strike an interest and you have an idea in mind… Please. Hold onto that thought, or perhaps there is someone else who may be able to get to your idea as I am unfortunately unable to do so at the moment. However, I believe I’ll have to set some rules.”

“Your request will be ignored and possibly deleted if…”

⟢ It contains topics such as rape, incest, pedophilia, and abuse. While I do love making things a bit dark, I do not touch those topics and WILL NEVER make something with those topics. Please note, yandere content will also count as abuse content.

⟢ I noticed you have made a VERY similar request to another user. Personally, I find this to be rude and disrespectful. It just doesn’t sit right with me.

⟢ I am NOT accepting any NSFW requests as I am not confident in writing that sort of content. It’s not that I am uncomfortable with it, I just cannot write it.

“Please note, I work better when the reader is gender neutral. It allows me to leave many aspects of the readers in my works up to you so you could properly insert yourself or an OC into it. If this is overlooked, your request won’t be deleted and will still be considered. I cannot do every request I receive, but I’ll do my best.”

“Now that that’s out of the way, how about some quick blog rules in general?”

⟢ DO NOT INTERACT IF: BASIC CRITERIA (racist, any sort of LGBT+phobe, proship), USE AI ART/CHARACTER AI

⟢ DO NOT try and purposely cause arguments. And do not try to bring up drama currently in any fandom whether I’m in it or not.

“I believe it is mandatory that I mention should the drama of Zerum be brought up, I will ignore you. I’ve already said what I wanted to say concerning the situation, and it is exhausting having to talk about it. If you persist, do know there will be no response from me and you are simply wasting your time.”

“You will be blocked should you show you fit into one of those categories.”

“Now, I must take my leave as the operators are probably scrambling in trying to reconnect their systems. As fun as it is to watch them struggle, I have much to do. I will see you on the other side.”

[twig-tea]

Communication styles, mirroring, and new relationship growing pains in Cooking Crush

In Cooking Crush ep7 we get a lot of really cute moments and really wonderful plot arcs that fly in the face of BL tropes (Nobly ghosting your crush because you think their life is better without you? Breaking up rather than simply agreeing to take time apart to focus or be in different places? Not clarifying your feelings? Making assumptions about your partner's physical comfort levels? Ten said not today, Satan!).

And! We also got a lot of more subtle goodness that I want to take a second to highlight around the feeling out of their relationship that happens between Ten and Prem in this episode. They each try out ways of showing affection, and of communicating, and it sometimes lands and sometimes doesn't, and they also take turns trying out one another's methods on each other! They slowly start to use more of each other's styles, and they get better and better at understanding one another as a result. I'm mildly obsessed, so let's break it down.

First, after Ten blocks Prem from leaving (communicating that he needs an explanation--first with his actions and then with words), we get Prem trying out the cute nuzzle-y apology in the grocery store, and then going in for a peck kiss (and Ten meeting him immediately and then getting flustered, loved this!). This was such a good moment because Prem uses the kiss in place of words, to indicate his feelings (he says "do you know now? you're not the only one" but doesn't specify he's talking about his feelings). This theme comes back in the episode later.

[gif by @gunsatthaphan; full set here]

At the cafe, Ten lies about having eaten and then not having eaten to appease Prem, and Prem immediately noticing and pinching him about it--this white lie for Prem's peace of mind clearly did not land well.

And then Ten tries to make up with him by mirroring the way Prem did to him in the grocery store (the cute nuzzling). And this seems to land better; Prem eventually gets flustered but tells him it was cute. And then Ten goes to get Prem food, because feeding one another is already an established-effective form of communication for them. Ten comes back and makes a really cheesy pun about sweet food/soulmates and it does not land and he sits a bit ashamedly back down.

[Ignore the two caption formatting styles, that was me being too lazy to go back to WeTV but wanting more screenshots so getting them from YouTube.]

He tries physical touch again instead, by reaching out with his foot. And again, it doesn't land, Prem confusedly asks him what he's doing. And then Prem accidentally (?) reciprocates--awkwardly because he doesn't really get it. And so Ten explains that this was supposed to be a signal that they should kiss some more. He decides to use words, and this works! Prem nods and goes with him to make out against some very unstable bookshelves lol

Ten asks Prem if he wants to continue--using words because that's what has worked best so far--and Prem gives him the green light nod again.

And so they try again, and again get interrupted, and Ten gives up. But this time Prem uses Ten's method--words--to ask if he wants to continue, and Ten gives him the green-light nod back! Again, they continue to mirror one another's styles of communication when they see it works.

[Both this and the previous gif above done by @tenprems, with full gifset of this exchange and the mirrored nods available here]

This next tiny moment was cut from the YouTube version, but in the car, Prem gives Ten another one of the now-established-as-effective green light nods before jumping into his lap lol Loved these continuous check-ins and establishing of mutual interest!

Back in the cafe after giving up on making out--and how much do I love the frustration about not just being able to kiss all the time, and not having a good place to go because they both live with their families, this was so relatable--Ten says his feelings outright (this is the Ten way) and tries cuddling in again, because Prem said he thought it was cute before, and Prem responds positively by verbally saying he feels the same, which gets Ten to pop back up in excitement because this is the first time Prem has said aloud he has feelings!

I love this moment that follows because it establishes just how differently the two of them think about communication. Ten, until now, was unsure about Prem's feelings because Prem never said them aloud. Now that he has, Ten takes that as a signal to ask if they can move to the talking/hitting-on stage. Prem looks at him like he's ridiculous, because they just made out in three separate locations lol and points out that obviously they're already past that stage. To Prem, his actions should have been clear enough to communicate enough of his feelings to Ten. Again, like in the grocery store, Prem thinks actions are explicit and clear, while Ten finds them ambiguous and wants clear and explicit words. And as they continue testing and mirroring communication methods on these dates, Prem starts to use more words and Ten uses more actions, and they understand one another better.

[gif by @gunsatthaphan full set here]

Later in the episode, Prem brings Ten food, because as mentioned this is an established as effective communication method for them. He overhears the fight with Ten and his father, and leaves, because that conversation underscored his worst fears about his relationship with Ten--that he'd make Ten's life worse by being in it. Prem defaults back to his usual methods of communication--avoidance and action--and Ten holds him back and uses his words to describe his feelings. And Prem goes back to meeting him halfway and responds with words! He explains exactly how he feels to Ten.

And in response, Ten goes for action to comfort Prem--he knows this speaks to Prem more by this point.

And then he goes back to words and explains his plan to Prem to stay apart for now so that they can be together in future. Later, Prem runs into Ten at the cafe, and goes to touch him--again, action being his primary language of communication. He goes to leave and Ten asks him to stay, and explains with words that he'll be out of town for the mid-semester break. He asks Prem for a lunchbox for the trip--again, asking for their tried-and-true food in order to get reassurance of Prem's feelings for while they're apart. And Prem, in response, uses his words to confirm that he knows he's in Ten's heart. He then asks Ten for physical affection in return ("recharge my battery").

I love this moment in particular because it does three things:

Establishes that Prem is more interested in Ten's love than his money

Combines their communication styles by both being physical and verbal since Prem explained verbally that this hug was important to him

Confirms in Prem's style (non-verbal communication) that he's still open to physical affection even given their slightly ambiguous status.

And Ten immediately acknolwedges receipt of this message by kissing Prem--again using Prem's preferred communication method and mirroring his actions in the grocery store at the start of the episode--and then following it up with a verbal explanation (because he's Ten).

In the final scene of the episode, Prem brings Ten the food as promised, but explains he also included a written note with the food (more explicit communication!). And Ten responds to that by offering a hug. Every time one of them tries to meet the other halfway, the other does too, and it gives me LIFE.

Prem pulls away, and Ten checks in verbally, but Prem doesn't run off like usual. He stays to explain, because he's learned now that Ten needs that verbal reassurance around what's going on with him. And Ten responds physically, by wiping away Prem's tears.

He then tries this cheesy thing with the glasses as a metaphor, and it does not land, Prem is too practical.

[gif by @gunsatthaphan, full set here]

But he does make another metaphor about seeing only him--again, meeting Ten halfway. And then he tries to make a joke about how he, Prem, would flirt around while Ten is away, and again it does not land lol. He immediately backtracks and instead makes a cheesy pun, mirroring the one that Ten made in the cafe that did not land at all for Prem, and for Ten it clearly lands, he looks quietly really charmed by this. I loved this so much, there's something extra sweet about someone who hates puns making a pun for you because they know you love them.

And then Prem says explicitly and clearly in words, "I promise I will wait for you".

Ten starts his journey and opens the lunchbox, and reads the note from Prem. Unlike the previous (often partially failed) attempts that Prem has made to communicate his feelings through food without explaining what he was trying to say (I'm thinking of when he made that lunchbox full of things that turned out to be food Ten doesn't like, or when he made all of Ten's favourite foods and brought it to school pretending it was leftovers but the fact that Ten had read Prem's deleted text message made Ten understand that it was actually for him), this time Prem has explained with words exactly what he was trying to express with his choice in food.

These forays into feeling out one another's communication styles, styles of humour, finding one another's hard lines (don't lie to make me feel better; don't joke about cheating on me) and just getting a sense of what works and what the other needs, this is bread and butter early relationship stuff, and the show is quietly depicting it so well. I had such a great time watching Ten and Prem not just fall in love, but learn how to effectively be in a relationship with each other this episode!

Huge thanks to the giffers @gunsatthaphan and @tenprems being fast enough to make gifs that I could include in this meta! If anyone gifs any of these other scenes I described, especially the battery recharge and Ten popping up excitedly hearing Prem use his words, please tag me!~

[linos-luna]

New Family (Pt. 2) 🥀

Bang Chan x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mention of trauma, crying, depression, anxiety

(Pt. 1) — (Pt. 2)

——————————— 🥀 ———————————

Chan was over almost everyday. If he wasn’t at your home, you’d be at his. He treated you like a princess and wanted you to feel safe as possible.

It’s been awhile since you’ve spoken to your mom. You didn’t even think about it. Little did you know, Chan actually blocked your mom and others he deemed toxic in your family. He doesn’t like seeing you get verbally abused by them.

But that didn’t stop you having some troubling times…

It was 4am and you found yourself moving more than usual while Chan slept peacefully next to you.

“No… no…” you muttered now gripping the sheets. Your knuckles were white from your tight grip and you kicked a little

Chan started waking up when feeling you kick him under the sheets.

You whimpered while tears rolled down your cheeks and Chan took notice.

“Y/n?”

“Channie… Channie help…”

“Hey, I’m here, babygirl” he said while propping himself up on his elbow before you started crying louder.

“Channie! Channie help! Channie! Get him off! Off!” You were nearly screaming and voice full of panic as you tried feeling for him.

“Baby. It’s okay. I’m here.” He said calmly while trying to grab your hand.

You were still asleep and suddenly cuddled up into him, practically curling up into his chest.

“Channie… help-…” your breathing was calming down and chan put his arms around you for comfort.

“Shh… it’s okay… it’s okay…”

You eventually calmed down and fell into a peaceful sleep.

Your boyfriend held you tight. He hated seeing you like this but he had something planned for later. Hopefully it’ll cheer you up…

~~~

After a dinner with his parents, Chan took you for a walk in the park. It was a cool evening and Chan made sure that you were warm.

It was cliche and he knew it but he had a friend waiting with a camera and a perfect spot. He would check his pocket constantly as he lead you to the spot with lots of flowers around.

“Channie. You’re acting funny.” You said while looking around. “Why did you bring me all the way out here?”

“Y/n.” He paused while holding your hand. “Remember how I asked if you wanted a new family…? and that I’d make it happen.”

You nodded, getting a little anxious.

“Well. You know my family loves you. And I want to make it official.”

“What do you mean?”

Before you could say anything, your boyfriend got on one knee.

Your heart was pounding as you realized what was happening, especially when he pulled out a small box.

“Will you marry me?”

He opened the box to reveal a beautiful ring.

You broke out into tears while nodding and Chan smiled as he put the ring on your finger.

Instantly, you hugged him. Crying into his chest as he rubbed your back.

“I love you, babygirl.”

His friend came out of hiding, revealing that he was recording a video the whole time.

“Woo! Congratulations!” He cheered.

“Thank you, Han.” Chan smiled at his friend.

Han gave a thumbs up as you continued sobbing.

“I can’t wait for the wedding, babygirl.” He said while rubbing your hair.

You were so overwhelmed with emotions that it was hard to say anything. You couldn’t believe what was happening. Was this for real??

“We’re gonna move closer to my parents. I already have an apartment that I’m looking at”

You paused and looked up at him.

“I’ll love and take care of you forever.” He said softly while wiping your tears. “My family is yours and they love you just as much.”

“I can’t believe you would… I- I—…” you stuttered, unable to find the words.

“We’ll build a great life together. Work on our dreams…” he gave you a soft kiss on the lips before taking your hands in his.

“Channie—”

“You’ll never be alone.”

[kittykat-25]

One Of The Guys - Part 4

Pairings: Hongjoong x F! Reader, Chan x F! Reader

Genre: idol au, Friends x Lovers, angst

Warnings: anxiety attacks, Feminine pet names(cupcake, bubs, love)

Summary: You tried really hard not to be a cliché, falling love with your best friend. How unoriginal. But when your best friend is Kim Hongjoong what are you supposed to do?

Now Playing: One Of The Guys- Jessia

One Week Later…

You woke up head pounding, cold sweats from the nightmare you had. As you sit up the feeling of a weight on your chest settles in and you know today is going to be rough. You rolled out of bed and started getting ready for work, hoping the heaviness would wash away. You grabbed your phone from the charger as you headed out the door and debating sending a quick text to Joong and Woo, cancelling tonight’s dinner plans; ultimately deciding against it. You didn’t want to alarm them if it wasn’t needed, knowing in the past how they’d drop whatever and come to you.

You looked down the time cursing yourself, sprinting down the steps, you didn’t feel your coffee spill; too focused on not missing your bus. As you burst out of the side door of the apartment complex you see your bus pull away from the stop and the lump in your throat forms. You pull yourself together and start walking and looking for taxis to get you to work on time. Determined to turn your day around. As you walked towards your office you looked down and noticed the coffee stain on your pants and shirt. You were already late and don’t have time to turn around and go change. You pulled your jacket out of your bag and used it to cover the wet stains in the front. Hoping your pants dried on the walk to the office.

Working as a marketer for skincare and beauty you would think the office would be a calm and relaxing place. Well not today. The shipment of samples was labeled wrong and had to go back to the warehouse. Which meant you had nothing to give out at the launch party this weekend. All of your coworkers made comments about your pants and you were pulled into your bosses office and yelled at for the sample malfunction and being late. You were holding together by a strand and could not wait until 5 to go home.

The universe wasn’t entirely cruel as Joong had to cancel dinner plans tonight to help Eden and Maddox with something. You were glad you didn’t have to bail, knowing how stressed they already were. They started the comeback next week and you probably wouldn’t see the guys for the next two months. The first few tours and comebacks without them being home was hard but the more you got used to the idol life and schedule the more you came to enjoy your time alone and found peace in it. You were living your life and they were living their dreams.

You felt your phone vibrate and looked down to a text from Chan, a smile creeped onto your face. One of the only things that had eased some of the heaviness today. “I know you said you weren’t feeling well today. So just know you’re doing a great job and I’m proud of you for going to work!” You felt the tears well up in your eyes, looking up you blocked them away, sending back a thank you text to Chan. You cleaned up your desk and gathered your things. You were almost to the elevator when your boss walked out of his office. “Miss Y/Ln, I need to see you.” You cooled your features and turned towards him, “of course sir.” You set your bag down and followed him to the meeting room. “The samples came back but all the labels need to be put on them. Since you were the one to mess up. You get to do them.” You looked at the piles of samples in front of you, there had to be hundreds of them. “Sir this will take hours.” He check his watch and walked to the door, “then I suggest you get started.” You pulled out the chair and took a deep breath, your hands shaking and eyes watering you grabbed the first sample and began.

Half past 11 you threw your bag in the floor and keys in the bowl as soon as you stepped into your apartment. You had held yourself together all day but the second you crossed into your home the damn broke and everything you had been feeling today came up. Crouched down, holding on to the counters your body shook as you sobbed. You reached for your phone, knowing he’d still be awake at this hour. As you scrolled for his contact, vision blurred by the tears you sank back into the floor. The phone rang and you tried to calm your breathing when he answered, y/n doll, I’m busy.” he started, you let out a muffed sob, “Joongie please.” He was quiet for a second, “are you hurt?” He asked, voice dry. “N-no I just…” Hongjoong cut you off, “y/n I’m sorry I just really don’t have time for this. Figure it out alright.” He said quickly then ended the call.

You pulled the phone away from your ear, hands shaking so hard it fell to the ground. You could hear the ringing in your ears. Everything in your apartment seems to shrink, feeling suffocated you half crawled into the open floor of your living room. Your phone started ringing and the sound blasting through your apartment making you jump. You swiped answering the call, a sob coming out before any words. “I’m on my way cupcake.” Mingi said before you could even explain. “Is the door unlocked love?” He asked, you heard a door close and the street life in the background. “I-I think so.” You whispered, voice hoarse from crying. You could hear Mingi running through the streets, your apartment only a block or two from their dorms. “I’m coming up cupcake.” Mingi said slightly out of breath. You mumbled something and ended the call. You curled back up in a ball, sobbing as you replayed the conversation with Hongjoong in your head.

You barely heard the front door open, jumping slightly when Mingi’s face appeared before you. Eyes laced with worry, you looked up at him and started sobbing harder. Mingi pulled you into him, running a soothing hand through your hair, letting you get all of it out. He reached behind himself to grab a blanket off the couch when you started shaking. “Y/N?” He asked quietly when your sobs have softened. You looked up at him with red eyes, puffy from all the tears. “I called Joong and- and he told me figure it out. Th-that he didn’t have time for this tonight.” You said hiccuping, more tears spilling down your cheeks. Mingi wiped your tears, “I’m so sorry cupcake.” You hugged the man tighter to you, “thank you for coming Mingi.” Mingi kissed the top of your head, “of course. Anything for our girl.” He pulled out his phone, sending a text to Wooyoung, updating him on the situation.

*At the dorms*

Wooyoung read Mingi’s text three times before he processed everything. Hands clenching an unclenching as he got off his bed and walked towards Hongjoong’s room. He saw the glow of light from under the door. He swung the the door open letting it slam against the wall. The captain with his head phones on didn’t even hear the commotion. Jongho on the other hand did and walked out of his room to investigate. Wooyoung slammed his hand on the desk, Joong looked up at him, “is it saved?” Woo asked through clenched teeth, motioning towards the laptop. Hongjoong clicked a few buttons,”yeah…” Wooyoung slammed the laptop shut. “What are you doing?” Hongjoong yelled, “WHAT AM I DOING? WHAT ABOUT YOU??” Wooyoung yelled, “what are you talking about about?” Hongjoong asked. “You are a horrible friend.” Wooyoung said, Hongjoong looked like his brother had slapped him.

Wooyoung was seething, everything from Mingis text on the forefront of this mind. Their girl, who they were supposed to protect, sobbing because of this man in front of him. “Hyung calm down.” Jongho started, “Stay out of this Jongho.” Wooyoung spat at the younger man. “Wooyoung.” Hongjoong started but Woo cut him off, “No, you left Y/N all alone when she needed you.” Hongjoong’s eyes widened, he had completely forgotten about the conversation with you earlier. “Y/n calls you sobbing and you told her to figure it out?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME JOONG!” Wooyoung tried to control his breathing but he could only picture you alone sobbing on floor. “You dare call yourself her best friend.” He spat. He turned around, mumbling a quick apology to their youngest member. Not hearing Hongjoong panicking under his breath, reaching for his phone to call you. “Fix this Hyung.” He heard Jongho say and he turned to follow Wooyoung out the door. The sound of the front door slamming in sync with the beep of you ignoring his call.

TAGLIST🥰 if you want to be included in the taglist message me!

@vampzity@sanslovesblog@sundaybossanova @skzline @edenesth @owmoiralover @scarfac3 @blackb3|| @ateezswonderland @amuromio @the-multishipper @mingisbbokari

[crazyunsexycool]

Hey Val!

It’s a good thing you mentioned we can send as many asks as we want because God knows we Geminis are terrible at making up our minds🥹

Sooo, for my first Birthday Celebration ask. You already know I’m a real sucker for hurt/comfort, and I know this prompt wasn’t in your list, but could you cook something up for our Stevie? Remember that amaaaaaazing fic you wrote about the 40s!Reader being kidnapped by Hydra and found 70 years later by Bucky?

Well, let’s say Stevie and her have settled down but he’s scared to lose her again. Maybe he’s having a nightmare or maybe she’s taken hostage/hurt because the enemy knows her worth in Steve’s eyes.

Can you write it pleaseeee?

(And yes, I told you I wanted a part two to this one shot, and I’m trying hard to get it🫢🩵)

It only took me a year to write it...

Read part 1 here

Love in times of war

Part 2

Pairing: Steve Rogers x 40s!Reader

word count: 13.6k

Warnings: Nightmares, implied smut, so much angst, attempted kidnapping, kidnapping, mentioned isolation as punishment, reader gets slapped a few times, pregnancy, mentioned childbirth, fluff

A/N: As I said before it took me a year to write this. Mostly due to writer's block. I'm still not convinced it's as good as part 1 🥺 but I did my best. It's kind of age of ultron-ish (no ultron though) and also we have Bucky!! Anyways I hope you like it!!!!!

Steve walked away from the small dispute between drunken soldiers and headed toward the hotel. A lone car sped off not too far away but he couldn’t be bothered to worry about it. He was anxious to be with you again. The upcoming missions were going to be hard on everyone so he wanted a bit of peace and happiness in his life with his best girl. 

Steve took the stairs two at a time, he wanted to have you back in his arms as fast as possible. He kept the same pace as he walked down the hallway but his stomach dropped as soon as he saw your door. It was wide open and there was no sign of you anywhere. Steve rushed in and checked everywhere but the room was in perfect order. As he rushed out something on the floor got his attention. The light hit the metal object just right and he realized it was the locket he had given you a few hours before. He picked it up and saw that the clasp was broken and he ran. 

Outside under the light of the winter moon Bucky was escorting the commandos back toward the hotel. As they neared the entrance Steve barged out. Bucky knew something was wrong immediately.

“Steve what is it?” 

“Y/N’s gone. Someone took her.” He rushed out.

That was enough to get the Howlies’ attention.

“How do you know she’s gone?” 

“Her door was wide open and the room was un disturbed and this.” He showed them the locket and the broken clasp. “She wouldn’t have taken it off willingly.”

“Ok we have to move now. Did you see anything suspicious as you came in?” 

“No nothing-“ Steve shook his head before he turned as he remembered the car that had sped away. “No no no no no.” He started running in that direction with Bucky following suit. 

“Y/N!” Steve yelled at the top of his lungs. “Y/N, please. Please… don’t… leave me.”

“Steve.” He turned at the sound of your voice. He could hear you but not see you.

“Steve?”

“Y/N? Where are you?”

“Steve…”

“Steve, honey, you’ve gotta wake up.” You gently touched Steve’s cheek as you tried to wake him. He kept yelling your name while moving around frantically in bed. His neck and chest were red as he strained to fight some invisible enemy. “Honey, wake up. It’s just a nightmare I’m right here.” 

Steve sat up abruptly starling you. His breathing was erratic and his eyes were wild and unfocused. You called his name softly, your touch gentle on his thigh. 

“Y/N?” He sounded so scared that you weren’t there. 

“I’m right here.”

Steve pulled you into his lap and hid his face into the crook of your neck while you played with his hair. 

“It felt so real. Like it happened all over again.” His breath was shallow again as his anxiety went into overdrive. “I can’t lose you again. I can’t.” 

“Breathe for me honey. Just focus on your breathing. You aren’t going to lose me again.”

“You can’t say things like that. You know anything could happen.”

“And you’d go to the ends of the earth to find me wouldn’t you?” You ask as you pull away to search his eyes.

“Of course I would.” 

You smile at him and then give him a quick kiss. “Then there is nothing to worry about.” 

Steve doesn’t reply, he just kisses you again and again until he’s laid you down on the bed. 

“Wait, my dress.” You say when he pulls on the strap ripping it.

“I’ll get you a new one.” 

You giggle as Steve moves from your neck down to your chest while popping the buttons on the front of your dress. 

“I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, Steve.”

~~~~~~~~~

“How have you been adjusting?” Bruce asked while the elevator ascended to a higher level. 

“There’s so much I still need to learn. But there are things I like. There’s so much more freedom now for women to be in the science field.” 

“I think you had a hand in paving the way for people that would have otherwise been overlooked for one thing or the other.” 

“Oh please.” You scoffed as you stepped out of the elevator. 

“You need to give yourself more credit. I mean you’re here to give a talk about your experience.” 

“My contribution wouldn’t have been as meaningful if I hadn’t disappeared and been dating Steve. I know what I have done and what I can do, I just wish my work would have been recognized because of me, not who I was dating back then.”

As you turn the corner from the elevator banks you come face to face with a large group of people, mostly women waiting for the doors to open. Your presence caught the eye of one of the attendees who immediately started cheering for you. Before you knew it the room was full of thunderous applause. Bruce had to help you navigate the sea of people wanting an autograph or to shake your hand. 

“See what I mean?” He said once you were escorted to a separate room. 

“I am so much more nervous now.”

“Don’t be you’ll be fine and I’ll be in the first row.”

“I wish Steve would have been able to be here.” You murmur as you fix your dress again. 

“I know he would too, but the talk is being transmitted live so I know he’ll be watching.”

****

Your speech had gone great. There was even a question and answer segment and you got every question imaginable. From working with Erskine to what it was like dating Steve. 

Somewhere towards the end of the questions something went wrong. Armed men rushed in, Bruce hulked out and chaos ensued. You thought you heard someone calling out for you but then you feel something hit the back of your head. Your vision blurred and your knees gave out. Pain spread through your head, in the quick few seconds after being hit you blackout.

~~~~~~~

“I knew it was a bad idea to let her go out so soon.” Steve’s voice reached you but it was so hard to open your eyes.

“Too soon? Steve, she's been here for two months. You can’t keep her locked up.”

That was Bucky. They were having a whispered argument. 

“It’s not about keeping her locked up. It’s about keeping her safe. She’s still the only person that knows the formula for the serum. Every agency and country in the world is going to come after her.” 

“Steve?” You asked. Everything was blurry, all you could make out was shapes moving around and that caused you to panic. “Steve?” 

“I’m right here. It’s ok.”

“I can’t see.”

“I know, it’s a side effect from the smoke grenades and the hit you took but it will clear up.” He reassured you while taking your hand. You breathed a sigh of relief at having him close.

“What happened?”

“Hydra. They made their way in to try and take you. Again.” 

“Was anyone hurt?”

“A few bumps and bruises. I think you got the worst of it.” He says as you feel his free hand cup your cheek.

“I thought I heard someone call my name right before I blacked out.”

“That was me. I wanted to surprise you, didn’t want to show up with you and take the attention away. You deserve the recognition. Bucky was with me too.” 

“Sorry your moment was ruined, darling.” Bucky murmurs. 

“I’m just sorry others got hurt because of me.” 

“They’ll be alright, just like you will. Why don’t you rest ok?” 

You just nod and turn your head toward the wall and away from him. Soon enough you fall asleep again. 

~~~~~~~~~

The first few days were difficult. The attack had been hard on you and you were told you needed to stay in bed rest for the next few days. That didn’t work for you and you had to sneak out of your shared apartment with Steve. It wasn’t easy because he rarely left your side but he had no choice on this specific morning. You took the opportunity and went down to Bruce’s lab.

****

“So this cable goes here, like this.”

“That’s correct.” Bruce looks over your work. “If you press this button you’ll be able to view the sample on the monitor.”

“That is so much easier on the eyes.” 

Bruce smiles which is something he rarely does. But it’s gone quickly and he’s moving on to teaching you the next thing. You take notes and it feels like being with Erskine again. The wave of emotion crashing down on you unexpectedly.

“Are you ok?” Bruce places a hand gently on your shoulder. 

“Yes, sorry. It’s just, this reminded me so much of being with Erskine. It feels weird, you know. To me everything that I lived through in the war happened like two months ago but really it’s been decades. I guess I just never really gave myself a chance to mourn and then I’ll do something that reminds me of my past. The Howlies, Erskine, Howard.” You sniffle. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t be dumping this on you.” 

“No, it’s ok. I’d like to think that we’re friends.” 

“We are.” You clear your throat and focus on the task at hand.  “Now you said that I can record what I’m looking at right?”

“Yeah, I’ll show you how.”

****

“Ready for your lesson?” Nat didn’t even look up from her spot on the sparring mat. 

“I am if you are.” 

“Always am.” She finally looks up at you, taking in your work out clothes. “Did you tell him yet?” 

“Tell Steve that I’m taking self defense? No. He’d probably freak out and lock me in our apartment.” 

“He’s just worried.” 

You nod as you walk toward the center of the mat where she was. “I know but I feel as if he’s keeping me prisoner. No matter what I say he always has an excuse as to why I can’t do something. As if I wasn’t there with him during the war. I need to be able to protect myself.” 

Nat gave you a sympathetic look.

“How do I get things back to what they used to be?” 

“Steve struggled with that too. Truth is that nothing will ever be how it was. You both have changed and so has the world around you. You’re different people now, there’s no use in trying to be what you were.” 

You realize that what Nat was saying is true. The only thing that hadn’t changed was how much you loved Steve. Your relationship with Steve felt so fragile at the moment. Mostly because when you met and started the relationship everything was happening so quickly. There was no time to second guess feelings when going on a mission could mean never seeing each other again. This was new territory for the two of you. 

Everything else had changed and you would have to accept that sooner rather than later.

 With a sigh and encouragement from Nat you took up your defensive stance and focused on sparring. You had only been sparring for a few minutes when you were startled by Steve.

“What the hell are you doing?” He stared at both you and Nat with a mixture of horror, concern and anger. 

You gave Nat a bit of a frown. 

“You should be on bedrest.” He reiterated the instructions just as he had a few times during the last few days.

“I’m fine.”

“So you’re just going against doctor’s orders?” 

“I’m a nurse, I think I know when I can push myself.” You and Steve just stare at each other. He clenched his jaw and you crossed your arms over your chest. 

Nat stood there, her gaze bouncing from you to Steve and back. She’d been in many different situations ranging from life threatening to ridiculous but this was the worst one. You both were her friends and she didn’t like seeing you fight but she also knew she couldn’t get in the middle of it. Slowly Nat moved away from the mats and left the two of you to work it out.

“Who’s idea was it?” Steve finally broke the tense silence. 

“Mine.” You replied. 

“Why didn’t you ask me for some training?”

“Because you would have said no.” 

“That’s not true.” Steve defends himself.

“Really? Fine. Steve, would you be willing to give me some self defense lessons so that the next time hydra tries to kidnap me I can fight back?” 

“They aren’t going to take you again, I won’t let them.” 

You sigh and your arms drop to your sides. Finally you look away from him as you think about what to say next. 

“We don’t know what they have planned but I know they’ll try. I’d rather know how to fight than be defenseless. If you won’t give me some lessons I will find someone that will do it.” You finally say before walking away. 

Steve could only watch you leave. That was his biggest fear, the not knowing. It made him feel like he was just that small kid from Brooklyn stepping up to fight the neighborhood bully. Except this time he wouldn’t walk away having lost a fight, there was a chance he’d lose you again and he couldn’t take that chance. If Steve lost you again there would be no coming back for him. He knew this, this fear kept him up at night. Partly due to him thinking of all the ways he could keep you safe and the other was to keep an eye on the bedroom door. 

Without much else to do Steve followed you back up to your shared apartment. He didn’t want to have this conversation. He didn’t want to show you how vulnerable he truly was but if that’s what he had to do to make you understand then he would do it. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Up in the apartment Steve found you in the kitchen finishing off a glass of water. He stood on the other side of the island and watched you for a minute. You looked over your shoulder and put the glass down before turning around completely and giving Steve your attention.

“I need to learn to defend myself.” 

“You need to rest and get better.” Steve counters. 

“I am better.” 

“You’re not cleared by a doctor, you could really hurt yourself or make an injury worse.” 

“I’m a nurse, I think I can handle myself.” You huff. 

“Things are different now. There are a lot of things that you didn’t know about back then.” Steve argues. “Medical issues that could sneak up on you if you don’t follow doctor’s orders.”

“So what? When we were in the middle of the war we didn’t have time to rest for weeks at a time. Besides, you can’t keep me locked away in this compound forever. What’s the worst that could happen if I have to leave this place?” 

“I could lose you!” Steve bellows. “I won’t lose you again. I can’t- I can’t live without you.” His voice cracks. “I won’t do it again.” There are unshed tears in his eyes and that softens your stance on the issue a little. 

You walked around the kitchen island and hugged him. Steve held you close as he fought back his tears. 

“I failed you back then and I’ll regret it every single day of my life.”

“It wasn’t your fault. I knew what I signed up for when I worked with Erskine. I knew the risks when I agreed to work with Howard.” You pull back to look at him. “Honey, I know you want to keep me safe but at some point we’ll have to be apart. I don’t want to be defenseless again. I was scared back then. Please understand why I need to do this. I trust that you would do everything you could to find me but what about if they actually get me? What do I do while I wait for you to find me? It scares the hell out of me to think about that.”

Steve took a deep breath in order to calm himself. He had never looked at it that way. 

“You must’ve been terrified.” He whispered before pulling back into his chest where he felt you nod your head. 

“It was horrible. Every second of it. Please don’t leave me defenseless.” 

“Ok, I’ll get you trained on a little bit of everything.” Steve kisses the top of your head. “But only after you’ve got the ok from the doctors.” 

“Fine.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a few months since your attempted kidnapping. While the Avengers were still on high alert for any signs that hydra might want to kidnap you again, things were going back to normal. Steve had created a training schedule for you and now you atleast felt confident in protecting yourself. Your relationship was also really starting to grow. During the war it was about survival and stolen moments. Now you’re free to really enjoy each other’s company and get to know each other better. 

In this time you’ve learned that you loved the little things Steve did for you just as much as the grand romantic gestures. You also learned that Steve loved it when you played with his hair and just kept your hands on him in general. But it was dancing in the living room at odd hours that you both enjoyed most. Especially when he would come back from a mission and even though he told you not to, you’d be waiting for him. It didn’t matter the hour. You needed to know he wasn’t hurt and even when he didn’t say it, you knew Steve needed to see you as soon as possible. After a difficult mission when his anxiety wouldn’t let him sleep you’d sit on the couch with his head on your lap, running your fingers through his hair until the tension melted from his shoulders. When that didn’t work you’d put music on and drag him to slow dance with you. Steve just needed to be held and you were more than happy to do that. 

****

“The blue shirt makes your eyes pop more. You know how much I love that.” You tell Steve while he holds out two shirts. Tony was throwing the first party at the compound in a while. “But wear whatever you feel more comfortable in.” 

“I’d be more comfortable if we didn’t go. We could always stay in bed, naked. Like we were earlier.” Steve stands behind you, his arms around your waist and chin in your shoulder.

“Stevie, honey, I know how you feel about the whole hydra thing. But we can’t stay stuck in this apartment forever. I’m already going stir crazy because I can’t leave the building.” You had stopped applying the finishing touches on your makeup and turned to give him your full attention. “How about we stay for an hour and come back?” 

The hopeful look in your eyes lessened Steve’s worries about the party. Yes he was worried about the threat hydra was but you were in the compound surrounded by agents and Avengers. There was no place safer. 

****

A couple of songs in and neither of you get tired of dancing. Steve still gets a bit overwhelmed with current music but you found out that you like having your back pressed against his chest as you sway your hips. There have been a few times when he has to hold your hips still and he whispers in your ear the rather naughty things he’s going to do to you. 

“I’ll be right back.” You tell Steve once you find Bucky at the Bar. Steve had just taken a seat but stood up again.

“Where are you going?”

“The ladies room. I’ll be back.” You kiss his cheek and head out toward the hallway. 

****

It all happened so fast. Inhumanly fast. One minute you were walking out of the ladies room and the next you were whirling through the compound. The only thing you managed to do was scream for dear life and watch as the emergency protocol activated. Unfortunately you were out the doors before the building shut down so now you found yourself tied up in a van with a team of armed men and a guy with silver hair. You can’t help the tears that immediately started flowing. 

“Please, not again.” You murmur, your eyes connecting with the silver haired man. 

“Shut up.” Someone else says and knocks you unconscious.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve couldn’t breathe when Friday announced that the emergency protocol had been activated. No one was allowed to move from where they were and all he wanted was to make sure you were ok. It took too long for his liking and Steve took off. He searched the bathroom closest to where the party was being held first. You weren’t there. Steve checked every single room he could until Tony called him into a meeting room. Everyone was waiting for him, serious expressions on their faces. The only person that wasn’t there was you. It only confirmed his worst fears. It was his worst nightmare come true. 

“Steve.” Tony said cautiously. 

“Who took her and what are we doing to find her?” 

“It was most likely Hydra. Although we don’t know who exactly.” Tony plays the security tapes in slow motion which show you leaving the bathroom when a blur passes in a flash and then you are gone. He’d followed the blur but you weren’t seen in the building again. 

“They’re enhanced, great.” Bucky shakes his head.

“I don’t care who it is and what abilities they have, find them so that I can end them and bring my girl home.” Steve grits out. Bucky stands and places a hand on Steve’s shoulder.

“We’ll find her.” 

“Last time you said that it took 70 years.” Steve’s anxious and angry and doing his best not to direct his anger at anyone. 

“Yeah well you have us this time around, we’ll find her.” Nat assured him. 

“Let's get to work.” Tony says and everyone goes off to do something. 

Steve stands in the now empty conference room feeling helpless. He hadn’t felt like that in years. This time though he’d burn the world just to find you. No one and nothing was going to stand in his way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You aren’t sure how much time has passed but you feel groggy as you start to stir. With a groan you open your eyes, blinking slowly as you take in the space. It’s a small cell with a cot and barely any light. The events before this come flooding back and you feel your eyes water. 

“Not again.” You murmur. “Please not again.” 

The door creaks open and a large frame blocks the door and the light. You can’t tell who it is but it doesn’t matter because you’re being pulled up and out of the cell. Rough hands drag you down the hall and you fight every step of the way and actually manage to knock one of the guards down. But just like you hit the guards, they hit you back. Then you’re strapped to a chair in the middle of a room. While this is extremely familiar to you it still causes fear to finally set in. 

“The nurse that gave us the winter soldier.” The voice came from behind you. “You really gave us a hard time in finding you by hiding away with the Avengers. But no matter, you are finally back where you belong.” 

“Fuck you.” 

Your hair gets pulled back and a man with a buzzcut and what looks like a monocle is in your face. 

“Just because you have information we need, it does not mean you get to mouth off. I suggest you keep your mouth shut and do as I say.” The accent is barely there but still noticeable. He looks familiar but you can’t place it. 

“You’re going to regret this. You better count your days.”

The man smiles and lets go. 

“I like a challenge. You’ll submit to me long before the Avengers could ever find you.” 

You smile, just to taunt him. “You don’t realize you’ve pissed off Captain America. He won’t stop until he finds me. And when he does he’ll burn this place to the ground with you in it.” 

“I’d love to see him try. I have a few tricks up my sleeve. You’ve met one of them already.” 

You notice movement to your left and that same silvered hair man walks into view. Next to him is a woman with long auburn hair, there’s so much more anger in her eyes. It makes you wonder what they’ve been through. 

“They’re practically kids.” You murmur as you turn your attention back to your capture. “I’ve met men like you.” 

“I would hope so, my grandfather and father worked for hydra when you were held.” 

“Yeah? Who were they? Who are you?” 

“I’m Baron Von Strucker.” 

“Von Strucker, I remember them.” You nod.

“They were great men and I plan to follow in their footsteps.” 

“They were cowards.” There’s a stinging sensation on your cheek before you even realize that his hand connected with your face. “It’s true. They were nothing to hydra. They hid in the basement and did their little experiments, mostly on me, but they accomplished nothing. Pathetic little men that hid behind children and women because they couldn’t do anything worthy.” 

“SHUT UP!” Von Strucker hit you again, this time hard enough to knock the chair you were in back. “Your life is in my hands and you will show me respect.” 

You weren’t focusing on him, your attention was on the two other people in the room. The woman’s eyes softened before looking at the floor and the man that had taken you was also looking away. They both stood there silently but fidgeting. This made them uncomfortable and it made you hope that they weren’t exactly like the rest of the people here. 

“Take her to her cell. No one talks to her. Maybe some isolation will remind her how things work around here.” 

You don’t fight when two guards grab you and drag you to a cell that hasn’t seen the light of day since the place was built. It didn’t matter how long they’d keep you in there, you knew Steve wouldn’t stop looking for you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A chair flew through the glass wall of the conference room. Glass shards littered the floor both in the conference room and the hallway. It was taking all of Bucky, Sam and Clint to restrain Steve.

“What do you mean you haven’t found anything? It’s been weeks. The longer we wait the less chance we have of finding her.” Steve yelled. “You said you’d find her Stark, so fucking do it.” 

“Steve, you need to cool it. We aren’t going to let you go until you do.”

Steve glared at Clint but ultimately he stopped struggling against all three men. Clint pulled away first and then Sam but Bucky kept his arms around Steve’s chest just in case he wanted to try and lunge at Tony again. 

“We’ll find her but there are a lot of hydra bases that we still don’t know about. Y/N could be anywhere. I won’t stop until she’s back home.” Tony tries to assure him. 

Steve is breathing heavily, his neck is red and the color seems to creep up his jaw. When he first woke up in the present his first thought was how all of the technology would have helped him find you back when you were taken. Now it seemed like it didn’t matter. There was nothing in this world that would help Steve get to you but he couldn’t lose hope, he wouldn’t.

“Give me the list of potential hydra bases and I’ll work surveillance.” Steve said after a moment. 

“So you can go in there shield blazing? I don’t think it’s a good idea, Cap. If we go in with half assed information we might lose her for good.” 

“You know Tony’s right Steve. We’ll find a lead and we’ll get Y/N back.” Bucky says.

Steve’s shoulders slump and he nods in agreement. He’s trying so hard to not break down. He still feels guilty about losing you the first time but now he can’t and won’t forgive himself. You trusted that he would keep you safe but he let you down again. 

With the burden of knowing they weren’t any closer to finding you, Steve leaves the conference room. He has barely stepped a foot into your shared apartment. There are too many things that remind him of you now and he just couldn’t be there without you. Instead Bucky was letting Steve stay in his spare room in order to keep an eye on him. It wasn’t helping, since Steve was slowly but surely spiraling and Bucky wasn’t sure he would be able to help his friend. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You felt sick. It had been weeks since you were taken and Strucker had made your life a living hell. He kept you completely isolated for a long time. Reality was starting to feel warped and you felt as if you were going to die. 

When you were finally granted a reprieve from your solitude you were dragged through the hall of the old building. Even if you were allowed to walk, you were too weak to hold yourself up. You’d been dumped in an empty room and you stayed curled up in a ball at the center. At the sounds of footsteps you tilt your head back. The twins, as everyone calls them, walked into the room. Pietro and Wanda were their names from the whispers you’d heard. 

Your vision was blurred and you were so thirsty. You wanted to reach out to ask them for help but at the same time they had been a witness to what was being done to you and they stood by. Pietro had been the one to take you from the compound so you couldn’t trust him anyway. 

“Doing… can’t…” you heard the whispered murmurs. “Help… dead.” 

You blinked slowly when the lights above you had been blocked. 

“Are you ok?” Wanda asked in a whisper as she stared down at you. 

You just blinked, too tired to say anything, your thoughts were loud and clear though. “Fuck you and your brother.” 

Wanda flinched and took a step back. 

“What was that, sister?” 

“She said fuck us both.” Wanda relays your thoughts and you furrow your brows in confusion.

Pietro can’t help but chuckle. He steps beside you and crouches. His eyes are concerned and for a moment you believe the sincerity behind it.

“I am sorry, really. This is not what we thought would happen.” He moves some hair out of your face but you smack his hand away with what little strength you have. 

“Hydra lied? What a surprise.” 

“What is hydra?” Wanda stepped closer. “We’ve heard this term before but don’t know what it is.”

You sighed and closed your eyes, too tired to continue the conversation. “You read minds don’t you?” You murmured.

“I do.”

“Read mine, see for yourself the monsters you work for.” You say before falling asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A quick, sharp slap to your face wakes you up. You’re tied to a chair in the middle of a lab. A table full of instruments sits nearby and Strucker standing in front of you. 

“Welcome back. I hope that you’ve had enough time to realize that being disrespectful will get you nowhere.” He says. 

You look around the room and spot Pietro and Wanda. There are a few guards and some assistants waiting for their orders.

“So tell me, are you ready to cooperate?” 

You open your mouth to say something but Wanda shakes her head. Eyes go red and you hear her voice in your head.

“Go along with what he says. You need to live, you both do.” 

You furrow your brows. What did she mean by ‘you both do’? 

“Yes.” You rasp out. 

Strucker’s smile is wicked as he leans down and gets in your face. “I knew you’d break easily.” He stands back up and places his hands behind his back. “Now, it’s simple what I want from you. I want you to recreate the serum. We will get started tomorrow morning. Guards take her to her new cell and I guess she can have something to drink, since she’s decided to behave.” 

The guards undo your restraints and grab you roughly. There’s a little flash of red in your peripheral and suddenly the guards are being more gentle with you. 

The cell you’re taken to at least had a window and a cot. It’s an old uncomfortable looking thing but it’s better than cold hard stones. You’re dumped on the floor again and the door is closed without a word. 

“Wanda? Are you there? Can you hear me?” You thought.

“I’m here. Pietro and I-we’re sorry. We didn’t know who you were. Strucker told us you worked with Stark. That’s who he said we were after.” 

“What does Tony have to do with anything?”

“There are more important things to worry about right now.” Wanda’s voice echoed in your head. 

“What did you mean when you said ‘you both have to live’?” 

“Y/N, I overheard Strucker. The doctors in the lab did some tests while you were unconscious. He said you’re pregnant and that he plans to use the baby to force you to work for him.” Wanda says softly. 

“I’m pregnant?” You asked in disbelief, your hand instinctively resting over your midsection.

“You didn’t know? I’m so sorry Y/N. Pietro and I will help you out of here. We don’t want to work with these monsters anymore. Just give us time.”

“Ok, I’ll trust you both. When the Avengers show up I’ll make sure they help you get out too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve was tired of waiting. He was done sitting on the sidelines and doing nothing to find you. The team was aware of his restlessness and kept a close eye on him. But his determination was stronger than any plan they had in place. 

So under the cover of night, Steve slips out of Bucky’s apartment. He’d studied the security cameras and knew all the blind spots. Steve stuck to the shadows until he reached the hangar and headed for one of the quinjets. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Bucky’s voice broke the silence. He stepped out of the darkness and into the dimly lit night. 

“I’m going to find her.” 

“You’re going to get her killed if you’re reckless.” 

Steve turned to his lifelong friend. He was angry and tired of not knowing anything. “What am I supposed to do? Sit here until we know she’s dead for sure?” 

“This could hurt our chances of finding her. If hydra starts talking that Captain America is making the rounds we might not find her at all.” 

“We have no chances right now. There isn’t even a whisper of her name or description. We have nothing so I’m going to go find something.” Steve said through gritted teeth. “Now are you going to stop me or are you letting me go?” 

“I’m going with you.” Bucky said, leaving no room for discussion. “You’re going to need back up and I won’t be the one to tell Y/N your dumbass died looking for her.” 

“Fine but we should leave now.” 

Steve heads to the closest jet and gets in with Bucky following closely behind. 

“Good, you’re here.” Nat turned in her seat. “Sam, we’re ready to go.” 

“You got it Red.” 

“What are you guys doing here?” Steve is caught by surprise. 

“Did you think we’d let you do this alone?” Sam shakes his head as he turns back to the controls. “We knew you’d do something dumb sooner or later and we made a plan.” 

“Yeah, Rogers. Now let’s go find your girl.” 

The four of them would sneak off as often as they could. Chasing whispers and rumors as to where you might be. It was better than sitting at the compound and doing nothing. Steve wouldn’t stop until he got a lead. He would bring you home this time no matter what it took.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were exhausted but you had to keep pushing forward. Strucker did reveal the fact that you were pregnant and used your unborn baby to get you to do what he wanted. He wanted you to recreate the serum and make it even stronger. You did the best you could to make it seem like you were doing what he’d ask but really you were buying time until Steve would find you. At least you hoped he would.

Wanda and Pietro did the best to protect you. But it was hard for them as well. They had to realize and accept that the people they were working for weren’t good. You saw how much this truth affected them and the longer you were held prisoner the angrier they got. 

“How are you feeling?” Wanda whispers as you take her blood. 

“So tired and sick. I’m scared I could lose the baby.” 

“We won’t let that happen.”

You look up at her with tired and worry filled eyes. “We both know you can’t promise that. If Steve doesn’t get here soon, I think I’ll never see him again. And our baby will never be safe.” Your bottom lip trembled.

“Y/N-“ 

“What’s going on here?” Strucker’s voice boomed through the lab. His eyes were zeroed in on Wanda’s hand as she tried to comfort you. 

“Nothing.” You say quickly. “I was drawing her blood like you asked.” 

His eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You know Wanda, I think I’ve been giving you too much freedom. Maybe I should remind you who is in charge here.” 

“You can try.” Her eyes glow red and you move away from them. “But I don’t think you would like the outcome of this fight.”

Strucker grins. “I’m glad to see you haven’t lost your ruthlessness. You,” he points at you. “Keep working. I want the serum soon.” 

You nod and move back to your station. This was too much for you to handle and you started to believe that maybe Steve wouldn’t find you on time. 

~~~~~~~~

For weeks you were pushed to your limits but you did as you were told in order to keep your baby safe. Everyday you bit your tongue and kept your head down. You didn’t want to admit it but you were starting to lose hope. Wanda and Pietro were trying their best to protect you but Strucker caught on to their plan and would keep the three of you separated. All you wanted was for your baby to be safe and for Steve to know about him or her. 

The one thing you did have control over was the serum and no matter what happened you would never give Strucker the full formula. But you could deceive him, hopefully, long enough to give the twins a chance to get you out of here. At least that was the plan. Every night when you were dragged back to your cell you could hear Wanda’s voice in your head telling you the progress, albeit small, they had made to get out and take you with them. This night was no different.

“Everything will be ok, little one.” You spoke to your small round belly. The baby moved in response. 

“I think we can leave in two days. Hang in there.” 

****

You’d barely gotten to sleep when the door to your cell flew open. Two armed guards walked in and grabbed you. Like every single time before, you kicked and punched and tried to pull yourself free from their hold but it never worked. You were thrown on the floor of the lab, you cradled your small bump in order to protect your child. 

“You have been lying to me.” Strucker’s voice boomed as he paced back and forth. “The formula is worthless, you idiot.” He stopped and stared down at you. “I’m giving you two options right now. Give me the correct formula or you’ll never have that child.” 

“No, please.” You cry out.

“Then what will it be?” 

“Ok, I’ll do it. I’ll finish the serum.” 

Rough hands grab you from the floor and push you harshly towards your station. Strucker stands behind you and grabs you by the back of your neck. You wince when he pulls you back roughly. 

“If you try to deceive me again, I will kill you.” Strucker threatens before walking out. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Strucker had you working around the clock. You weren’t sure how it was possible to be an even worse human being but he figured out a way. Because of your deception now Wanda and Pietro were paying the price as well. They kept Wanda sedated enough to not be able to use her powers and Pietro was kept chained up. You could see how it was affecting the both of them and realized they were just ticking time bombs. As the serum neared its completion you worried that this would be the end for you. 

“You aren’t lying to me are you?” Stucker looks down at you.

“No. The serum is finished.” 

“Good. Bring him in.” 

The guards open a door and Pietro is pulled in. He fights against his restraints and captors. 

“Administer the serum to him.” 

“No I can’t.” You protest. 

Strucker slaps you hard. “Don’t disobey orders.” 

“No, you don’t get it. The serum is not made for someone who has an ability already. For all I know it could kill him.”

“I don’t care.” 

Tears pool in your eyes as you grab the syringe with the serum. You hesitate as you walk toward Pietro.

“It’s ok. I deserve it for bringing you here.” He says softly. 

“You don’t.”

“Look after Wanda for me ok? She will be all alone.” 

You cry silently as you bring the needle to Pietro’s neck.

~~~~~~~~~~

Tony fires a small explosive toward the building. He informs the team to move in as he flies overhead and takes down a few more guards. 

From the ground Steve runs through the forest at full speed. He only stops to fight the armed guards that stand in his way. It has been four months since you’d been taken and he has not stopped looking for you. He had done a few questionable things but he didn’t regret it if it meant bringing you back home alive and well. 

Bucky is right behind Steve. He’s fighting just as hard to get you back. It hasn’t been easy for him to see the way his best friend has lost himself in his sorrows over losing you again. With every step he takes closer to the hydra facility they’re attacking, Bucky gains more hope. He knows you have to be there and he’ll make sure that you’re reunited with Steve if it’s the last thing he does. 

“Remember, the mission is to find Y/N and bring her out safely. After that we can deal with everyone else. We can burn this place to the ground for all I care.” Steve says over comms before looking at Bucky and Sam who lands right behind them. “Are you two ready?” 

Both men nod. At this moment their only job is to support Steve. 

“In position Cap.” Nat says through comms. 

“Security system has been disengaged. You’re free to enter.” 

“Thanks, Stark. Everyone move in now.” Steve orders and everyone rushes in. 

The hallways of the building are in utter chaos as people surge forward to fight against the team. But Steve was relentless as he pushed forward. He wouldn’t leave this building without you. So if he had to fight every single person here, he would.

~~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell is happening?” Strucker yelled as the building rocked from what sounded like an explosion. 

Hope builded quickly that it could be Steve. That he finally found you and was here to save you. You took the opportunity of the distraction and threw the syringe on the floor and stepped on it. Everyone in the lab started running around so you grabbed Pietro and led him to a corner.

“Take this off.” Pietro shuffles in his restraints. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” The guard that had brought Pietro in rushes up to you. 

You don’t respond, instead you punch him in the face. He stumbles back and you take advantage, grabbing the keys and set Pietro free. 

“Hold on.”

“Pietro, wait. No this isn’t-” You scream while being set down in a safer part of the base. 

“Stay here, I’ll get Wanda.” 

A few seconds later Wanda and Pietro are standing in front of you. 

“Stay together. I will help your friends.” Pietro says before hugging his sister. “Please be careful. I’ll see you soon.” 

“We shouldn’t stay here.” Wanda grabs your hand and you begin to move down the hall. She stumbles a bit and you notice her eyes are glazed over. She’s still drugged. “There should be an exit close by.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve pushed through every single blow, gunshot and attack that came his way. Tony had just confirmed your whereabouts within the building and he was going to get to you one way or another. It was just one more hallway and a turn around the corner and you should be there. A blur of silver flashes by him and Steve stops in his tracks as it comes back around. 

“Captain, My name is Pi-” Pietro is cut off when Steve punches him in the face causing his nose to bleed before grabbing Pietro by the front of his shirt.

“You’re the one who took Y/N from me. Where is she?” Steve was seething. 

“With my sister. She is safe. I’m sorry I didn’t know.” 

“Take me to her. She better be ok or I will end you, kid.” 

Pietro leads Steve to where he left you.

“Pietro, hurry. Strucker has found us.” 

“We have to hurry. Strucker has them. This way.” Pietro runs further into the belly of the building with Steve following closely behind. 

They turn a corner and for the first time in months Steve sees you. You’re in a dirty hospital gown, your hair is disheveled and overall you look exhausted. 

****

“Let her go, now.” You breathe a sigh of relief at the sound of Steve’s voice. 

He’s covered in sweat, dirt and blood but you have never been happier to see him. 

“Well look at who we have here. Captain America, here for his whore.” 

Steve straightens his posture. There’s a fire in his eyes you’ve only seen during the war and even now it’s more intense. 

“It must be nice to hide behind the shield.” Strucker says. “To let your uniform define you. You were a waste.” 

Steve throws his shield to the side and removes his cowl. “Why don’t I show you what I can do without the shield.”

“I would but we must get going. Say goodbye to your whore.” 

Strucker pulls you by your hair while you struggle against him.

“Steve, please.” You call out to him, crying because you are so scared and tired of everything. 

“Get your shield Captain.” Pietro whispers. “I will get her out of the way and then you can move in.”

Steve quickly grabs his shield. In a quick movement you’re right behind him and he launches the shield toward Strucker. He falls backward towards the wall and then Pietro grabs him. 

“Where is my sister?” 

“You’ll never see her again.” Strucker spits out. 

“Pietro, they took her that way.” Pietro looks around the corner and back at you. “Go get her.” 

Bucky and Sam show up behind you and Steve instructs them to grab Strucker before turning to you. 

“Sweetheart-”

“I knew you would find me. I knew it.” You start crying uncontrollably in Steve’s arms.

“Let’s get you out of here.” 

Steve picks you up bridal style and starts walking back the way they came. He has to keep his emotions in check even though he wants to cry with you. This isn’t like last time, he just has to remember that.

“Wait, we can’t leave Pietro and Wanda.” You sniffle.

“Pietro was the one who kidnapped you. He’s lucky I didn’t kill him.” 

“Please Steve, you have to bring them back. They’re just kids that were fed lies. Their country is at war and they wanted to do the right thing. They kept me safe all this time.” 

Steve gives you a stiff nod but doesn’t say much else until you’re in the safety of the quinjet and being looked over by Bruce. You hear Steve say a few things but you’re so tired that you slip in and out of consciousness. 

“Sweetheart?” Steve calls you softly until you open your eyes. “We found them. Pietro and Wanda are on their way and then we can go home.”

“Good.” You close your eyes for a moment feeling the exhaustion from the last few weeks finally catching up with you before your eyes pop open again. “Steve.”

“What is it Sweetheart?”

“You have to know something.”

“Whatever it is, it can wait, ok?” Steve kisses your forehead and takes your hand. “Just rest.”

“It can’t.” You move his hand to rest over your midsection and you watch confusion color Steve’s eyes. 

“What happened? Are you hurt? Bruce, come take a look.” 

Bruce turns around from where he was looking at the computer screen. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know it’s right here.” Steve points at your belly. “It feels swollen.”

“I’m going to take a look which means pulling up the hospital gown.” 

“Ok.” You murmur as your eyes begin to close. 

“Steve, I think Y/N is pregnant.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The air wasn’t stale. That’s the first thing you noticed. Then it was the beeping and the comfortable bed you were laying in. As consciousness began to consume you, hope filled your chest that you were actually home and your rescue hadn’t been a dream. You open your eyes slowly and realize that it’s the middle of the night. Steve is sitting by the bed, his arms folded over his chest and his head tilted forward, he was asleep and looked uncomfortable. 

“Steve.” You whispered with a raspy voice. It was enough to wake him up though. 

“Sweetheart?” Steve stood up so fast he kicked his chair over. He took your hand in his and immediately kissed it. 

“I’m so glad you’re awake, you had me scared for a while.” He says. “Friday, inform the nursing staff that Y/N is awake.” Steve tells the A.I. “How are you feeling?”

“Thirsty. Still tired and achy.” 

The nurses walk in and Steve informs them that you’re thirsty. Bruce walks in a few minutes later and they all hover over you for a few minutes. They take your vitals and ask some questions before they finally give you space and Steve can be at your side again. After drinking some water you are able to talk better.

“How long was I asleep for?”

“Two weeks.” Steve teared up and it broke your heart. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” 

“Lay down with me.” You moved to make some space for him. 

“I shouldn’t. You need to be as comfortable as possible.” 

“Steve what are you-“ you gasped as your hand went to your belly. “The baby, is the baby ok?” 

Steve smiles. “Strong heartbeat and growing how he or she should be growing.” 

You started crying, happy tears this time and Steve finally moved to sit beside you. He carefully pulled you into his chest and the tension left his body. You were really here in his arms. The nightmare was over.

“What’s wrong?” 

“I’m just relieved that I’m out of that hellhole and that the baby is ok. That you saved me. I knew you would. I was scared you’d never get to know about our baby.” 

“I’m so sorry sweetheart. All of this was my fault.” He murmurs into the top of your head as he finally embraces you.

“Why is it your fault?”

“Because I didn’t protect you.” 

“Steve, honey, that son of a bitch wanted me because I know how to create the serum. He would have found a way to get to me. That’s not your fault.” You look up at him through wet lashes. “I know you’ll always blame yourself for this but I don’t. At some point you’re going to have to forgive yourself.” 

“Maybe, but not today.” 

“Still so damn stubborn.” You murmur, getting a chuckle out of him. 

“C'mon you need to rest.” 

“Ok,” you yawn. “Only if you stay on the bed with me though.” 

“But you need your space so that you can be comfortable.” 

“No. I need you close. Please? I need to feel safe. You make me feel safe.” Even though it was over it didn’t mean the fear you’d felt for the past few months would just be gone. It was still there and you knew that it would always stay there.

“Ok.” Steve relented. If his best girl needed to feel safe he’d make sure she was. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“There’s our fighter.” Bucky announced from the doorway. It was early the next day when the team started to come in to see you. Bucky being the first. He had a huge flower arrangement in his hand and a teddy bear. 

You were shuffling out of the bathroom with Steve’s help after finally being able to shower. 

“Bucky.” You opened your arms and accepted his embrace happily. 

“Darling, how are you feeling?” 

“So much better. How are you? How is everyone?” 

“I’m good. Relieved that you’re finally back. Everyone is anxious to see you. I had to beat them with a stick to get in here first.” He jokes as he helps you get back in bed. “Everyone is excited for the baby too. The first Avenger’s first baby. It’s kind of a big deal and I’m more than happy to be the favorite uncle.” 

“After all the shit you pulled in Europe? I don’t know if you’d be a good influence.” 

Bucky was shocked at your response. “You say that as if Steve isn’t standing right there. You know that baby has half of his genes right?” 

You laughed and nodded before looking lovingly up at Steve. He’s already looking at you with a soft smile. 

“You’re right. I’m going to need all the help I can get.” 

Bucky and Steve chuckle before they get a bit more serious. 

“I’m happy you’re back, darling. We were a mess without you.” 

“I missed you too, Bucky. Thank you for looking out for Steve.” No one had to tell you anything about it, you just knew he did. 

“Well as much as I loved to do it, it’s your responsibility again. So have fun with that.” Bucky joked before he smiled softly at you. “I’ll let you rest. Call me if you need anything.” 

“Thank you Buck.”  

He pressed a kiss to your forehead and left. The rest of the day the team kept coming in and out of your room. All of them congratulating you and Steve on the baby and telling you how much you’d been missed. Fortunately the last of your visitors was leaving because you were exhausted. 

“Why don’t you go up to the apartment and rest?” You told Steve although you were afraid of being left alone. 

“I’ll leave this room when you do.” 

You smiled as he placed his hand on your bump for the hundredth time that day. Your hand rests on top of his.

“I still can’t believe we’re going to be parents.” He says. 

“I know. I hope he or she gets your artistic abilities and not your rebellious tendencies.” 

Steve laughs and shakes his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

There’s a knock at the door and it opens just enough for someone to peek in.

“Wanda! How could I have forgotten about you? Please come in.” You sit up a bit more in bed.

Wanda opens the door to reveal Pietro just behind her. His eyes shift from you to Steve, who is now standing beside you in a much more rigid pose.

“Pietro.” You smile at him. He’s obviously nervous, they both are. “Please come in. How are the two of you doing?” 

“We’re ok. It’s a big adjustment but Stark was kind enough to set us up in our own apartment. And we can leave when we wish.” He says. “Who would have thought it was so easy.”

“You see, Tony’s not what he seems. At least not anymore. Will you be staying and working with the team?” 

“We don’t know.” Wanda says quietly. “We’re not sure what’s going to happen with us now.” 

You look from them to Steve who hasn’t said a word. “Well? Are they going to work with the team or not?” 

“He kidnapped you. He should be grateful that he can even walk right now.” Steve snapped, all his anger directed at Pietro.

“Steve, you have to understand them. They thought they were doing the right thing by signing up to fight for a war. Something you can relate to. Besides, they trusted someone who lied to them. Once Pietro and Wanda realized what was going on they were taking care of me. Of us.” You say while placing your hand on your swollen belly.

“We had a plan. We were going to escape.” 

“When?” 

“We had to be cautious so planning the escape was taking time.” Wanda answers. “But we would have left two days after the day you showed up.”

“We weren’t walking around freely. Wanda and I were prisoners too. We were just to blind by anger to see it. But we promise we only want to help people.” 

Steve didn’t look too convinced but you couldn’t blame him. After all, Pietro had been the one to kidnap you. But in some weird way you could understand why they did what they did. You had, afterall, been involved in the project that created the super soldier. Strucker made the Avengers look like villains. It was easy to manipulate the mind of people that were grieving and fighting to live one more day.

“I guess we can figure out how you could help. It’ll be on a trial basis only to begin with.” Steve says after a moment. 

Wanda and Pietro smiled before excusing themselves to let you rest. Steve finally relaxed and laid back down next to you. 

“Promise me you’ll give them a fair chance.” 

“I’ll try.” Steve says. “Honestly, I was trying really hard to not punch him again.” 

You laugh and rest your head against his chest. “Don’t worry you’re going to be too busy soon enough to even think about punching Pietro again.”

“We should start thinking about names.” Steve places his hand over your swollen belly once more. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Woah, where do you think you’re going?” Steve jogged to your side of the bed. 

“I need to use the bathroom. Again.”

“Let me help you.” He held his hands out and helped you out of bed.

You were so close to your due date. While you loved the fact that you were going to have a baby with the love of your life, you were also tired of being pregnant. 

Everything either ached or was sensitive or was swollen. You were ready to have this baby. It didn’t help that because of the way the first part of the pregnancy went, you were considered high risk. Well that and the fact that you were technically in your late 90s. No one was sure what would happen. 

The last few weeks you were meant to be on bed rest. Fortunately Steve had stopped going on missions when you were given this information and he was right by your side to help with whatever you needed. 

It was amazing having him close by. All you had to do was call him and he’d be right by your side. He’d been wonderful throughout the rest of the pregnancy. So excited to feel the baby moving under his touch. Steve had already collected a rather large book selection so that he could always read the baby a bedtime story. The two of you read every pregnancy and baby book available in order to be ready. But when your water breaks you feel as unprepared as ever. 

“Stevie, honey,” you stop halfway to the bathroom. 

“What is it, Sweetheart?” 

“I think my water just broke.” 

“Oh, uh-ok. It’s fine, you’re fine. We can do this.” Steve is starting to panic. “I have a plan.” 

“What’s your plan, Honey?” 

“Well, it’s a good one.” He nods but doesn’t move from his place beside you. When you look up at him you can see the worry all over his face. “What if it’s not good enough for you?”

“Honey, I think you’re starting to panic.” You say as calmly as possible. 

“No. I’m fine. Really, you don’t have to worry about me.” 

“Friday could you please tell Sam, Bucky and Nat that I need them here asap tell them it’s code Baby.” 

“Of course Ms. Y/L/N.” 

A few minutes later your three friends are rushing through the door. 

“Hi guys.” 

“Darling, what’s going on? Why does Steve look so pale?” Bucky is the first one at your side. 

“Because my water just broke.” 

“It’s finally happening.” Sam says excitedly.

“Ok boys, you know the deal. Bucky, take Y/N down to the medbay. I’ll handle your overnight bag and the baby’s bag. Sam, you’re on Steve duty.” 

You smile at them before calling Steve’s name one more time. Bucky takes your hand and with the other he supports your back. 

“Wait, give me a second.” You mutter while placing a hand over your lower belly. “Uuuhhh.” You whimper a bit. 

“That’s the first contraction.” 

“Contraction?” Steve finally snaps out of whatever it is he’s going through and stands beside you again.

“How much did it hurt?” Bucky asks.

“Enough, they’re only going to get worse.”

“Let’s get you downstairs then.” Steve offers his arm and they both walk you down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After hours of waiting and worries and pain. Steve at your side catering to your every need. The team in the waiting room anxiously wanting to hear the good news. 

You had a healthy baby boy. 

He was perfect and you knew he’d take after Steve in his looks but you didn’t care. Now there would be a mini version of the man you loved running around and you couldn’t be happier. Steve stared down at his son in awe. He was sitting in the hospital bed next to you as you cradled the infant in your arms. Both of you were enthralled by his tiny existence. 

“He’s perfect.” You murmur while running your finger from the bridge of his nose to the tip, booping his little button nose. 

“I never thought I would love anyone as much as I do but I feel like my heart is going to explode every time I look at him.” 

“Me too.” You agree with Steve. 

“I love you, thank you for giving me our son. Thank you for everything. I don’t think I could ever give back what you’ve given me.” Steve says before kissing your temple. “But I hope I can try and repay you the rest of my life, if you let me.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

You turn as you feel Steve shuffle off the bed and kneel beside it. When you look down at him he has a beautiful diamond ring in hand.

“Steve…” 

“This isn’t how I planned it but I can’t wait anymore. You are everything to me. Even after everything you’ve been through, you’re still the same loving and caring person I met years ago. You’ve given me more than I’ve ever deserved and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Y/N will you marry me?” 

You started crying. It wasn’t a cute sort of crying, it was very much an ugly cry but you nodded your head anyway because you couldn’t think of anything better than spending the rest of your life with Steve. He gets up and places the ring on your finger before cupping your face and giving you a sweet, loving and gentle kiss. 

“Sweetheart, don’t cry.” Steve tries to wipe away your tears.

“I can’t help it. I’m just so happy and I’m also a mess right now.” 

“You just gave birth. You’re allowed to be a mess.” 

After a few minutes of Steve giving you hugs, reassuring words and kisses you finally calm down. 

“We still have to name him. And let the team in.” You say.

“I think I have a name but tell me what you think.” 

The team shuffled in one by one, after you freshened up of course. All of them were excited to meet the newest addition to the family. Sam and Bucky of course bickering about who would hold the baby first. 

“Boys, that’s enough.” You say and they quiet down. 

Everyone’s eyes are on the little sleeping form in your arms. 

“Everyone, we'd like you to officially meet our son.” Steve says while standing beside you. 

“What’s his name?” 

“We decided to name him after a very dear friend and the reason we met in the first place.” Steve says fondly while looking down at you. “Everyone meet James Abraham Rogers.” 

Bucky stared at the two of you in shock. You could only smile. 

“Would you like to hold him, Buck?”

“Are you sure? I mean-” Bucky motions towards his left arm.

“We trust you.” 

With tears in his eyes Bucky walks over and lets you place the baby in his arms. He’ll never admit to it but he’d been practicing how to hold babies by using a stuffie. “Hi buddy, I’m your Uncle Bucky.” 

Slowly everyone eventually got a chance to hold the baby. Sam and Bucky were still bickering who would be little James’ favorite uncle. Now though Bucky was able to use the fact that James had been named after him. Steve had to stop the arguing a few times. As Wanda handed you the baby back she noticed your ring.

“You’re engaged? When did this happen?” 

Steve tells them the story and how it happened only moments before they walked in. Everyone congratulates you on the baby and the engagement before leaving you alone. It was good timing because James was starting to get fussy. You and Steve got to work on changing his diaper and getting him fed. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Being new parents was a whole new challenge for the both of you. All of the parenting books couldn’t help you to change what felt like the thousandth diaper of the day. But you nor Steve would change it for the world. It was exhausting but rewarding. 

Seeing Steve step into fatherhood was the most beautiful thing ever. With everything he did there was so much care and thought put into it. He was still a loving, caring and supportive partner which made things better for you and vice versa. 

“Need anything Sweetheart?” Steve was walking into your room. 

“Could you maybe fluff up my pillow?” 

You were currently feeding your son and couldn’t really move around. 

“Of course.” Steve stopped at your side and did as you asked before kissing the top of your head. “Better?” 

“Much better, thank you.” 

“How’s our boy doing with the added ounces?” 

“He’s loving it.” You chuckle as you look down at your son. “He’s growing so fast I feel like I can’t keep up.” 

“Must be the serum. Are you worried?” 

This was always a sore spot for Steve. The possibility of his son being sick or getting sick easily always weighed on him. The fact that little James was so different from other children worried him to no end.

“Absolutely not. His pediatrician said he’s hitting all of the developmental milestones. Our son is healthy, honey. If anything the serum will keep him from getting sick. It’s a good thing.” 

“I know.” 

“Look at that, he’s all done.” You say while wiping the excess milk from around his mouth. “He’s in a little milk coma.” 

“Let me take him so that you can rest.”

You smile at Steve as he grabs your son to immediately start burping him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve was in James’ nursery reading him a bedtime story. He was just about to be six months old. It was odd how time moved so quickly yet slow at the same time. Jamie was so big but still so little. You adored him. You also adored seeing Steve interact with him. They loved each other so much you loved to be around them. 

“The end.” Steve said slowly. You stood in the doorway watching Steve close the book and set it down. “Now let’s get you into your crib. I got a date with your mama.” 

After Steve had settled James into his crib for the night he met you at the door. 

“You look beautiful.” He whispers.

“It feels nice to be dressed up in something other than leggings and t-shirts.” 

“Well you pull both looks off very well. Alright sweetheart, I hope you’re ready for our date.” Steve grabs the baby monitor and leaves the door ajar. 

Steve silently leads you to the living room which had been transformed. The furniture was pushed out of the way and where the coffee table once sat was a picnic. Fairy lights hung from one side of the room to the other. The tv was gone, leaving the wall blank. Steve remedied that by turning on a projector with a movie already queued up, one you still hadn’t seen. 

“This is wonderful.” You smiled as you took a seat on the picnic blanket. 

The two of you cuddled and watched the movie while snacking on everything Steve had packed. Steve ended the night by putting on a playlist he had carefully curated for the two of you and dancing. 

You had your head against Steve’s chest while he swayed with you. There was no mistaking the dopey grin on your face.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I was just remembering the night you walked me back to my room at boot camp.” 

“When you kissed my cheek?” 

“Yeah.” Your smile widens.

“Why?” 

You pull back to look at him. “You were so cute. I really wanted to drag you into my room with me.” 

Steve laughs but his cheeks turn a light shade of pink. 

“What? It’s true.” 

“You would have given me a heart attack, Sweetheart.” 

“Good thing I was a nurse. I would have fixed you right up.”

Steve shakes his head but meets you halfway for a kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

James was a wonderful baby. He was sweet and easy going although he was starting to show his mischievous side, something you blamed completely on Steve. He was also starting to show his strength. Like the time he had a temper tantrum while holding his bottle and crushed it with his little hands. It didn’t matter to you or Steve though, like everything else in your life and relationship you learned and adjusted. 

“There’s my best guy.” Steve had just walked into your shared home after being away on a mission. “And my best girl.” 

“Hi Honey.” You say from your place on the floor where you’re playing with your almost one year old. He looked so much like Steve it was ridiculous.

“Hi Sweetheart. I missed you both so much.” 

“We missed you too.” You grab James and stand him up, turned so that he can see his daddy clearly. “Didn’t we baby.” 

James starts doing grabby hands, kicking his feet and babbling when he sees Steve. “Dada. Dada.” James calls out excitedly. You set him on his feet hoping that he’ll finally take his first steps. 

“Hi bubs. Were you waiting for me?” 

“Dada.” Jamie does grabby hands again as he wobbles on his feet. 

“C’mon you can do it. Can you walk over to dada?” Steve kneels and holds out his arms.

You had to put a hand over your mouth to stop the excited scream as Jamie did take his first step. Then another until he managed to get to Steve who picked him up and peppered his face with kisses. Jamie laughed at the feeling of Steve’s scruff against his cheek. You and Steve celebrated this milestone by praising your son endlessly. Eventually Steve sets Jamie down and he starts taking a few more steps. You encourage him to keep going while Steve goes to change. Jamie sees his father leave the room and starts following him slowly. 

“What are you doing?” Steve pops out of your shared room. Jamie jumps at the sudden sound of Steve’s voice and falls on his butt. He giggles while getting up again. “Are you following me?”

“Dada.” Jamie nods and points at Steve. 

“Alright, help me pick out what I’m going to wear to hang out with you bubs.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Daddy.” Jamie yells when he sees Steve standing at the other end of the aisle. “Hi daddy.”

“Hi bubs. C’mon up here.” 

Jamie, uncaring that he’s in his little tux, runs down the aisle and into Steve’s arms earning some laughs from the crowd. Both of them looked handsome in their best clothes. The bridesmaids walk down next followed by the flower girl, Clint’s daughter. Finally you appear, a vision in white, with Bucky at your side to walk you down the aisle. 

“Look at mommy. Isn’t she beautiful?” Steve whispers in your son’s ear. They both watch, eyes full of love, as you make your way to them. 

“Mommy you look beautiful.” Jamie says as he leans forward and gives you a kiss to the cheek. The guests ‘aww’ as they see the exchange before Steve places your two year old on the ground. 

Heartfelt vows are exchanged between you. Tears are shed by both you and Steve as well as some of the guests. When the officiant announces that Steve may now kiss the bride he doesn’t waste another second and pulls you in. Your guests cheer as Steve finally pulls away.

“Mommy. Mommy. I get kisses.” Jamie says from beside you.

“Of course you do, my baby.” You lean down and give him a kiss on the cheek, leaving a red lipstick stain on it. 

****

“Presenting for the first time Mr. and Mrs. Rogers.” The DJ announces as you and Steve make your way into the reception. Everyone cheers as you walk in and you head straight to the dance floor to share your first dance. The music began and Steve started leading you.

“Is this-“ 

“The song we first danced to?” Steve finished your question. “Yes it is.” 

“You remembered?” 

“How could I forget? You looked beautiful then and you look beautiful now.” 

You smile as your cheeks warm at the compliment. Steve dips his head and gives you a quick kiss. When he pulls back you have matching smiles. There’s some tugging on your dress and you see Jamie standing there with his arms in the air. 

“Come on, let’s dance with mommy.” Steve says as he holds your son. “Hold her hand.” Steve instructs while placing his free hand back on your waist.

“My two handsome boys.”

James giggles when you boop his nose. Steve instructs him to spin you and he does. When the music ends your guests all cheer for you. Steve escorts you to your table and you take a seat. 

After dinner, there’s the speeches. Sam goes first and he manages to give a funny and heartfelt speech. Then Nat spoke, first about meeting Steve and then meeting his better half. She was surprisingly sweet and lovely. Finally it was Bucky’s turn. 

“Hello everyone.” He starts off by saying. You could tell how nervous he was and you nodded encouragingly when he looked your way. “Well my name is Bucky and I’m the best man. No one listen to whatever Sam is saying.” 

“C’mon man.” 

Everyone chuckles at Sam’s outburst. 

“I believe you all know that I am Steve’s oldest friend. I was there before the suit and the muscles.” 

You took Steve’s hand and squeezed it. 

“But what he lacked in physical strength he made up for in determination and passion. That’s how he met his beautiful bride and my dearest friend. Y/N is more than a friend, she’s like a sister and one of the most caring people I know. It’s a great thing to watch two people you care about fall in love. But it’s something so special to watch them love in times of war. And that’s what they did. No two people were ever meant to be, more than Steve and Y/N. Even after decades of being separated they somehow found a way to each other. So let’s all raise a glass and toast to the happy couple. Here’s to many more years of happiness.” Bucky raises his glass along with everyone else and they cheer. 

After the speeches were done the party could really begin. You’d changed into a more comfortable dress and headed to the dance floor. Your friends huddled around you and Steve as everyone moved to the music.  

At some point in the night Steve managed to pull you out to the balcony of the reception hall you were at. The fresh air felt wonderful after all the dancing you’d been doing. 

“What’s going on?” You asked Steve with a teasing tone. “Got tired of sharing me with everyone?” 

“Yes I did actually.” 

You giggle as you wrap your arms around Steve’s midsection. With a contented sigh you rest your head against his chest, feeling his heart beating way too fast. 

“Are you ok?” 

“Yes. Just a little nervous.” 

You pull back and look at him with concern. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing’s wrong. I just-I have two gifts for you and I hope you like them.” 

“You already got me a gift.” You hold up your wrist to show the bracelet he sent you while you were getting ready that morning. 

“What can I say? I like to spoil my girl, my wife.” 

You smiled up at him. 

“Here is the first gift.” Steve pulls out a piece of paper from his suit pocket and gives it to you. 

“What is it?” 

“Open it.” 

You do as he says and unfold the paper he just gave you. It’s the floor plan to a home. “Did you buy a house?” 

“Not just any house. Look at the address.” 

“Chicago? Steve-“ you look up at him with wide eyes. “Is this my aunt’s house?” 

“It is.”

“Are we moving to Chicago?” 

“I mean it’s not Brooklyn but we can if you want. We can visit there whenever you want, you can rent it, sell it.The house is yours for you to do as you please. ”

“I’ll have to think about it. Steve, this house, it…” You didn’t have the words to express how much this house meant to you.

“It was special for me too. I thought we should keep it in the family.” 

You hugged the deed to your chest. 

“There’s one more thing.” Steve takes a deep breath to ready himself. “I’m officially retiring as Captain America.” 

You gasped at the news. There were no words to describe the myriad of emotions you were feeling. 

“I know it can’t be easy to accept but I think it’s a step in the right direction for our family.” 

You just stared at him with tear filled eyes. 

“Please say something. I know you were a part of the program and I don’t want to disappoint you but-“ 

“Disappoint? Steve this is the best news you could ever give me. Yes Captain America holds a special place in my heart but you’re more important to me than anything. You did your duty. You went through so much already, you deserve to rest. To enjoy time with your son.” 

“That’s all I want. I want to be by your side and not miss anything else with Jamie.” Steve replies, the tension in his shoulder melting away. “I’ll still help with recruits and if something major ever happens then of course but other than that I’m just going to have a desk job.” 

“That sounds wonderful. It’s the best gift you could’ve ever given me.” 

You grab the lapels of his tux and pull him down, connecting your lips with his in a sweet kiss. The volume of the music coming from inside gets your attention so you pull away. 

“Sorry guys, he kept asking for you.” Bucky says as Jamie walks out onto the balcony before heading back inside.

“What if we have another one?” You ask as you watch your son dancing his way towards you. 

“We should head out for our honeymoon so we can get started on baby number two then.” 

You laugh as Steve kisses your neck. This was perfect. Your family was perfect. From now on you would get to enjoy your life and watch your son grow up along with your husband. You were meant to be together no matter who or what tried to get in your way. 

The war was over.

Now there was only love in times of peace. 

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[i4bellingham]

Idea for LOST pt 2 — Jude shows up to your house one night (has he broken up with his girlfriend? No. But he just has to see you and see if there’s anything there.) When he gets there and your new boyfriend opens your door he realizes what a stupid plan this was. But you step out to see him and you go on a walk and he asks for you back.

LOST : jude bellingham x reader ( part two )

here’s a part two to this jude fic ❤️ i just got home from an event and didn’t have the time to proofread this entire piece (but i will tmrw morning) so please excuse the errors made in typing <3

heavy cliffhanger at the end 👀

Jude thinks he's a lost cause.

There are a lot of times where he feels almost susceptible into doing stupid things, with an even stupid reason.

But he thinks this tops them all-

And not in a sense that it's absolutely idiotic, but it's pathetic and unfair to his current girlfriend and to you.

His girlfriend is an absolute angel. She knows how he felt (strongly) for you when you two were together and she never once asked him to ever love her the same; love her like Jude loves you.

She's honest with him, attentive, sweet, patient and just downright the most perfect girl someone could call theirs.

But Jude doesn't strive for perfection. He wants to see the flaws, he wants to experience growing not only as individuals but as a couple together who develop past their mistakes.

He wants all of that, but most importantly, he wants that with you.

“Jude?”

Jude’s head snaps to where the voice came from, seeing his girlfriend leaning against the doorframe of his room.

“Yeah?” He blandly asks, watching as she stalks to where he’s seated on his bed.

She stands before him, pretty and smiling. “I’m going home, babe. I’ll see you tomorrow alright?”

She kisses him on the forehead after that, all the while he’s staring at his fidgeting fingers on his lap.

He didn’t even bother hugging her or sending her off the door. He simply sat there, alone with his thoughts filled with you.

It didn’t take long for Jude to make up his mindㅡalready having made up his mind before he could even conjure the image of his disappointed girlfriend before he’s out of the house and into his car.

Well, it’s not wrong if he’s simply there to ask you how you've been right? Check up on how you're doing in the middle of the night... after a month of missing your presence and with his thoughts being filled with the memories of your relationship and you.

　

　　　　　　　　　ㅡ ♡ ㅡ

　

You don’t have a car.

Or did you buy yourself a car?

But the car looks awfully owned by someone he knows...

Raising thoughts ran in Jude’s head as he parks his car in front of your home and besides a gray Lamborghini Urus that you definitely didn’t drive before.

However, he disregards the thought before shutting the engine to his own vehicle and letting the peaceful atmosphere of your neighborhood wrap him a familiar comfortable embrace.

It's been long ever since he’s sat foot in your neighborhood let alone in front of your own house.

He couldn't even fathom the idea of visiting you after the rather messy break up since you two split off, opting to stalk you in your social media accounts before you ultimately cut him off, blocking him from everything when the rumors started that he was seeing someone new.

He definitely did not create fake accounts to stalk you with despite that, only stopping when he started seeing his current girlfriend because it to him it felt like he was being unfaithful, looking through your photos like you and him didn’t had something special.

Though his resolve from stalking your socials like a creep broke once your name was mentioned in the locker rooms, in a conversation that he wasn’t even meant to hear in the very first place that had him opening his burner account in every social media applications that same night.

Looking back at it now, he was already a lost causeㅡworst of it? He was already seeing his current girlfriend.

But no matter how much Jude wanted you back, he can't. He doesn't want to hurt the only person who's there to catch his broken pieces and mend them into something beautiful, may it be an abstract form of an art piece, it’s beautiful just the same.

Though the biggest reason to why he can't take you back? Is the chatter in the air that you're already seeing someone new, someone who owns a specific Lamborghini Urus just like the one parked beside his car in front of your home.

Regardless, he leaves his unwanted thoughts aside before he finds himself standing in front of your dark oak door, knuckles already rapping at the wood.

From outside, Jude can hear a soft melody being played inside your home. The white drapes that used to cover your windows are now replaced by a soft gray, a tall plant peeking just in between the gap made by the wall and the drapes. The entire place had been painted with a fresh white paint with gray accents, far from the plain white walls that used to greet him when he visited. There are a few more changes in the front exterior of your home that his gaze missed when the door to your home opened and welcoming him was Mason-

“Jude?”

“Mase?”

And to make everything absolutely terrific, your voice sounded off behind Mason too, way too cheery and oblivious for the building tension between Jude and his former teammate for the national team.

“Mase? Who’s at the door?”

You pull the knob from behind, pulling the door just enough so you can see past Mason’s shoulders.

“Jude?” Your eyes widens visibly, mouth falling to an ‘O’ before your eyes darted back to Mason.

The three of you doesn't say anything for a few seconds, and it doesn't take Jude a lot to see your fingers peeking around Mason’s waist, having him wrapped around your arms.

It was then that Jude realized how you used to do that a lot with him too. You loved to give him back hugs, often kissing his back or his shoulder blades after the sweet and careful gesture and he always lets you wrap him around your embrace that always felt like he belonged there... it was always the most comfortable hug that he’d get apart from the ones from his Mum. And to have this realization whacking him straight in the face, Jude began to second-guess if going here and asking how you’ve been was an incredibly stupid idea.

Almost as if reading the panic building behind his eyes, you stepped in front of Mason, shielding Jude from Mason’s gaze before you're asking your now boyfriend if you could take a walk with Jude, kissing Mason's cheeks when he agreed with a supportive smile.

Mason sends Jude a comforting smile before he slowly unravels the grip on your hand that Jude didn’t even notice was there beforehand.

Mason sees you and him off, now into your little walk one in which Jude had a little inclination of where it would be leading too.

“So... why the sudden visit?” You promptly ask him after passing by the eight house in your neighborhood.

Jude nearly freezes at the question. It is a valid question despite the joking tone in your voice.

Why did he even think of visiting in the first place?

Why do this now when the both of you are in a perfect, happy relationship?

Why do this now when he's already got someone and you've finally found someone new to share your favorite cozy blanket with?

Exactly, why?

But Jude knows the exact answer as to why.

Jude doesn’t say anything until the both of you reached a small park after the 12th house, both seated on the bench you used to occupy when you were still together. And in here, Jude doesn’t hesitate to tell you exactly why...

“I want you back... I need you back with me love... please...”

　

[smileandlove21]

Spell

An hour has passed since Zhuo Yichen was taken away. Or rather, he purposely let himself be taken away. Wen Xiao knows him too well. He can take care of himself but worries that he might be injured. He is a human after all.

They managed to locate a cave with a Qing Geng mural. An ordinary demon that was worshipped like a god by the people in Sinan Water Town. It is where they found Zhuo Yichen.

"Don't come near us. He is being controlled by malicious energy," Zhao Yuanzhou sternly said as Wen Xiao tried to approach them. He tightened his hold on Yichen.

"Why is there so much malicious energy on you? What happened?" Yuanzhou tried to communicate with Yichen, who was obviously under a spell cast by Qing Geng.

"I'm going to kill you."

Zhao Yuanzhou did not forget the agreement they had about killing him. He is willing to die for Yichen to have his peace. That was three months ago. All was forgotten when they fell for each other.

Seeing the killing intent from his beloved is also hurting Zhao Yuanzhou. He knew how much hatred Zhuo Yichen had for him. Whatever spell Qing Geng did may have resurfaced this hatred that turned to malicious energy. His Zhuo Yichen will not act like this.

"Stop fidgeting and let me help you, Yichen."

Still trying to escape the hold, Zhuo Yichen tried to push the great demon away, but it was no use. His strength is no match for his strong opponent. During the fight, Zhao Yuanzhou only defends himself rather than fighting back. He does send energy back, but only to push Yichen away.

"Don't try to pretend you are still under the spell, my love," Yuanzhou said, smirking. Apparently, he was able to regain consciousness after the trick done by Zhao Yuanzhou. He slightly slapped Yuanzhou, which shocked the latter.

"Don't you want to know her plans? Do the thing where you are good at."

When Zhuo Yichen said that, Zhao Yuanzhou immediately licks his lip and looks at Yichen's lips.

"I don't think it's a good time. Maybe after our mission?" Yichen slapped him harder this time.

"You shameless pervert! What I meant was to act like we are still fighting!"

"Oh. Well, I need a kiss first." Zhao Yuanzhou steals a kiss on Yichen's lips that earned a push from the demon hunter. A signal for them to start acting as Yichen sends his attacks to Zhao Yuanzhou.

The attack did hurt Yuanzhou, who immediately signalled Zhuo Yichen as Qing Geng had already appeared before them. In the end, their act was revealed as Yichen helped Yuanzhou stand up.

"How were you able to break the spell?"

"It's better that you don't know. It's a secret." That comment earned a jab from Zhuo Yichen. Qing Geng tried to escape but received an injury from Zhuo Yichen's Cloud Light sword.

Fei suddenly appeared and blocked Zhuo Yichen attacks as they escaped. Wen Xiao suddenly lost consciousness. Both Zhuo Yichen and Zhao Yuanzhou check up on her.

As Yuanzhou was checking Wen Xiao, Yichen saw something on his hands. He immediately crouches to his level and grabs his hand.

"You have the same marks as Wen Xiao," Zhuo Yichen said as he checked Yuanzhou's hand for other markings.

As much as it delights Zhao Yuanzhou, he also saw the marks on his Yichen's hand.

"It's the plague. We need to find the cure or...Yichen!"

Zhao Yuanzhou panics as Zhuo Yichen also loses consciousness. Wen Xiao begins to regain consciousness after, while Zhuo Yichen remains the same.

It was thought that after Fei died, the plague would disperse, but Qing Geng confirms that it cannot be cured. Bai Jiu worked hard to formulate the antidote while the others waited.

Ying Lei was in charge of checking up on Wen Xiao and Pei Sijing, while Zhao Yuanzhou remained by Zhuo Yichen's bedside. He remained unmoving since he lost consciousness, which worries the great demon. He will not lose him like this.

"Bai Jiu is already working on the cure. You have to fight this."

Yuanzhou was holding Yichen's hand as he said that. Yichen's hand started to get cold every second. He shouted for Bai Jiu to come. The little doctor is already panicking upon checking the pulse of his gege.

"I need one last ingredient for the cure. Just hold on, Xiao Zhou daren."

Bai Jiu immediately left to finish the cure. Zhao Yuanzhou did not let go of Yichen's hand. Every minute that passes, he can feel the life fading away from Zhuo Yichen.

"You cannot leave me like this. You are not leaving me, Zhuo Yichen!" Zhao Yuanzhou is already sobbing a mess when Bai Jiu returns in the room. In his hand is the antidote for the plague.

"You look ugly when you cry. I don't know why Xiao Zhou Daren liked you," Bai Ju suddenly said after he administered the cure to Yichen. Yuanzhou glared at the little doctor, which made him squeal as he left the room.

"I did not know you were lovers. How was he able to forgive you after what you did?"

Qing Geng cannot help to cure the group, as she also cannot figure out the formula for it. She was amazed at how the little doctor was able to do it. She was simply observing them when she noticed how different Zhao Yuanzhou cares for Zhuo Yichen. The same demon hunter who was supposed to kill him.

If anyone else were to see what she is seeing right now, they would be shocked. Zhao Yuanzhou was feared by many demons in the wilderness due to his powers. What they don't know is that a human demon hunter can make him submit like a puppy.

"His hatred remains, but he chose to let go because he chose to be happy. Your trick may have resurfaced that hatred, but his love will always bring him back. He will always come back to me," Zhao Yuanzhou replied.

"What if one day he decided he wanted revenge? Would you give him that?"

Yuanzhou gives Qing Geng a small smile. A smile with a hint of sadness. Sadness for the mere thought of dying, but most of all sadness for leaving his beloved behind.

"I am willing to die for him. To burn the world for him. You don't know what I can do for him, little bird. If killing me will make him happy, I would gladly die for him."

Who would have thought that a great demon is willing to do that for a mere human? The same human who is destined to end his life. Qing Geng understands, as she too is willing to do it for Fei. Now she was too late.

"You have to protect him then. You are too lousy in doing so. He is a human, and he can be killed easily."

That made Yuanzhou chuckle. As much as he wants to protect this demon hunter, he knows that Zhuo Yichen will not allow him to do so. He is too stubborn for that. He would rather be hurt to protect Yuanzhou than be protected.

"You don't have to tell me that, little bird. I will protect him with my life, and I know he will do the same."

[steamworkscogstone]

[Edit: Dec. 23rd 2024]

[LINKS TEMPORARILY BROKEN, APOLOGIES. WILL FIX SOON]

HEART THIS BEFORE YOU FOLLOW ME, PLEASE! It helps me to know who has and has not read this so I may direct their attention to it.

DNI: 18+ ONLY BLOG, No terfs and swerfs, no transmed truscum, no ageless blogs, Nothing Illegal, NO MINORS, Nobody who openly and actively hates, especially on the transgender community (which includes my non-binary siblings) DO NOT SELL ME SHIT, AND DO NOT SEND ME STUFF TO SIGNAL BOOST! I CANNOT HANDLE THAT STUFF MENTALLY, ANYMORE..

PLEASE READ MY PINS ON THIS POST, YA ADORABLE DEGENERATES. 😁

HEART THIS BEFORE FOLLOWING SO I KNOW WHO'S SAFE!! 😊 😊 😊

Ayyo, check these links before following and interacting, too!!:

So first up, I've put my goofy ass on the hellsite, and did a fun little selfie dump! (Maybe some tummy Tuesdays in the near future?)

Secound is an important thread of consciousness, please read with discretion and understand that I do not tag triggers (because I struggle with tagging as is. Anyway, so this is the bit ya wanna read before interacting with me)

Alright, so I have yet another link that is dealing with an answer to an anon, but it is extremely important as it gives better context to the post/s linked above: more Steamworks lore, yay..

(I apologize about the long winded text, but that's just how I do things. I'm a writer, at least in a texting format. 😅)

Warnings: I am a pro-shipper and anti-censorship, I love using the word queer and I identify as such, while also enjoying identifying the people I text with as such. I enjoy what I enjoy and I have heavy kinks. If any of these warnings are in your DNI or makes you uncomfortable, then please block me and do not report me.

I AM A HARRY POTTER MOVIE ENJOYER! I UNDERSTAND JK ROWLING IS A DEVILOUS PIECE OF SHIT AND EVEN THAT IS TOO KIND OF AN INSULT FOR HER! I WATCH THE MOVIES THRU 3RD PARTY MEANS, AND I REFUSE TO PAY FOR ANYTHING HARRY POTTER THAT IS NEW WHILE SHE IS ALIVE, AND WILL FIND ALTERNATIVE WAYS TO PLAY THE NEW GAMES BECAUSE THEY GENUINELY LOOK FUN. Please, please ask yourself why you decide to attack those, ESPECIALLY IN YOUR OWN COMMUNITY, over something they grew up with and actively love as an adult? We are all just trying to get through this life, and all have our own things that help us escape; we are already so divided and splintered, and so you actively hating your trans brothers and sisters, and nonbinary siblings (who barely make up 1 million on the United States' population already) is simply hurting too many people.

Peace, love, acceptance, and alternative means of coming to a peaceful resolution is what I desire in this world. A world that is already so painfully divided, whether that be by a screen or you actively choosing to hate, is just such a burden on those who will be trying so hard to make a name for themselves. Yes, I just pulled a "think of the children" because, seriously stating that seems so obvious and yet, too many people are dismissive of it when they are literally the future.

Do NOT come after me for my existence, and if you see I am following you and decide against the things I enjoy and my personal beliefs and message, then just block me. PLEASE DON'T REPORT ME.. 😖

Eh, fuck it: I'm making my hearted posts public again, and if you don't like it then leave and I know we're not chill with each other. Love ya still, even for those who do leave, or are too afraid to follow because of them having mutuals they really click with, but would absolutely shun them for enjoying what I absolutely adore! I SEE YOU!

[RAMBLING INCOMING]

Okay, so this is going to be my pinned post, and it's going to be a heavy work in Progress. I've gotten some feedback from a couple people, and well, I'm not okay with how stiff and forced my original pin came out. I know I can write something better and will when I have the time.

Name: Prefer Coggy or Golem while first interacting; more personal names given the closer we become.

Age: Currently 23 at the time of this edit. (2024)

Gender: Femboy/Tomgirl transfem mess of an existing baby femby. The body has been thru a physical transition, although difficult and uneasy, since 2018. We actually just recently marked the 6th year of being on whoremones. Most of us do lean more towards femininity than masculinity however, the hosts gender is ever evolving as the months go on. We have been on this wild and zany rollercoaster of The Gender Journey™ since 2016 when the host started socially transitioning at 15, and even today there is still heavy developments.

We obviously have a list of limits on our kinks and fetishes, however we do not feel comfortable sharing things just yet, as there are a lot of people we enjoy following, but seem to wish to shun those with certain fetishes by blocking them.

DESIRES ARE INHERENTLY NEUTRAL, AS MOST OF THEM ARE THING WE ARE BORN WITH THAT CANNOT BE TRANSFORMED OR REMOVED FROM ONES IDENTITY (such as gender and sexual identity). AS WE FORM LATER ON, KINKS AND FETISHES BECOME NEW DESIRES, AND THUS SUCH THINGS ARE INHERENTLY NEUTRAL AS WELL.

Need to update the tags. (It's a safe call to go off of what I've tagged one of my more recent personal posts or reblogs with text.)

Yeah, more to add later!

(List of things to add: Mutuals list, tags, stuff)

[ghostowlattic]

"No Food has entered"

Oh my, why would food do such a thing? How could food do it anyhow? Strange.

It would seem kind of important, unless this is pure propaganda, to add that our country's current admin. and Israel are the ones blocking food and aid. to purposely starve 400,000 + people. And to mention also that Biden/Harris/Blinken personally signed off on attacking aid trucks and ambulances.

Aid trucks and ambulances.

It's absurdist, agonizing really, reading western headlines as they constantly try to twist reality daily. When you watch the events yourself or see them live streamed online, only to see headlines moments later which purposely misinform, it becomes even more clear how much the western media keeps people in a manipulated bubble. Which was clear anyhow but it sure does become more apparent when you really see it in action working overtime.

I'm sad and somewhat surprised to watch the 'left', Dems mostly, of the USA be so quiet. People who seemed good at picking apart those police shooting articles saying, 'a police officer was holding a gun today when 3 of the bullets inside it killed a teen'. You know, where it's obvious they write anything to distort responsibility or even blame the victim? Now headline after headline is the same about our actions in the world and there is so much---silence!? Is the manipulation just working really well, or people are ignoring it for the election? Why does the Democrat's morality always seems to stop at the border? I certainly can't expect much humanity from Republicans.

I was always deeply hurt learning about the holocaust. I was a rather weird kid who studied all of those things very early on, including Cambodia, Pol Pot, Vietnam, more recent world history in general than my classes ever approached. Call me crazy but, I thought the lesson was that we could never let that happen again to anyone. To PEOPLE. To ANYONE.

Now it feels like we could be shoving people into gas chambers, we're already starving them and burning them alive, and it's like hey, isn't this great we just can't let this happen to Jewish people again? I'm like what the living fuck, this isn't what I signed up for. No one should be treated this way, nobody.

How can people here defend women's rights -- then be quiet about your nation helping to starve half a million women and children to death? No conflict there?

Is this what Trump did to us, is this our national soul now even for those who oppose him? Saying nothing while burning people alive in hospital beds!?

Trump is obviously a walking piece of living excrement and certainly isn't better in any regard, but anyone able to stay silent or not criticize your own nation and party as 100 thousand people are murdered in your name, as entire populations are being purposely starved, if it's just because they think it might spoil the election and it's 'not the time', how are they possibly a better human than he is?

Harris has now fully committed herself to this horror sadly, she said there was not single mistake made, and that she would have done NOTHING differently this year. Nothing. She added she will put NO RESTRICTIONS on Israel. Affirming she far right of Richard Nixon of all people, who you can see on historic videos warning people why we should never ever write Israel a blank check or they will bomb everyone in the region. It's truly weird to listen to Dick fucking Nixon explain why you need peace and love in the world more than the current Democrat running in 2024, things are probably a bit out of hand.

So what would be much for Americans? Democrats for that matter, it's not like I can expect Republicans to grow a heart if they ever had any, but everyone else? Because it's feeling like there is no limit. Officially it's over 41,000 but we know the number is more likely over 100k.

There are now over one million people displaced in a week. Is that not too much??

Then there is Aaron Bushnell, a 25 yo US serviceman who set himself aflame this year, burned himself alive saying it doesn't even compare to what Palestinians are going through, and notice how few Americans seem to give a shit or notice? Democrats seemed awfully offended by Trumps treatment of the military and yet our own soldiers set themselves on FIRE? Killing themselves in protest and, nothing?

400,000 in Gaza with no food since October 1. Are we going to just sit and wait for them to starve? This isn't a natural disaster. Civilians, women, children killed in mass numbers and this is still the good side of the country? How can anyone discuss something as important as abortion and women's rights while starving and bombing women and children in great numbers and not find that a bit...conflicting?

It was so soulless to see this morning, after watching the IDF burn people alive as it happened this week -- that Sky News had the gal to use those VERY images, those of burning people alive in hospital beds, with a story instead about Iran's missile attack, that killed no one, from a week earlier. Knowing people will likely conclude the terrible things they are seeing were not done by the IDF and the West, but Iran. Over and over straight up propaganda.

History will remember this. And since those involved are having such a 'great' time live streaming their own atrocities on social media, it's making it the most documented genocide in history and will be watched in detail for generations to come. It's insane to watch people openly discuss they want genocide and be very honest about it, to live stream theirselves killing people and to see them play in children's clothes after murdering them and just look at how passive Americans are. As the news is full of strange headlines like the one above..where FOOD magically keeps itself out of places with no reason or logic, starvation, bombings, displaced people, by....this mysterious nobody! Manipulation... the loss of active verbs will astound you.

I mean, I really do not have love for Nazis and bigots, I dislike seeing any sort of hate and fascism in fury. So, how could I not find it equally unnerving to see a huge group of American Israeli supporters this week carrying flags with stars of David, singing the melody of Hey Jude to 'No more Gaza', and laughing and chanting for the death of 2 million human beings? How is this morally different? Are people really so absurd that if the very same forms of hatred return but it's a diff symbol or reversed it's just unnoticed? Defended even? Are people really just led by some weird guilt so the holocaust was a get-one-free holocaust card for one specific group of people, instead of lesson to defend human life and dignity for everyone???

It makes me wonder, what was our entire culture about? Movies, art, lessons, all the supposed morals and novels from war and fiction and our own history? What was all these decades of artists, shows, film makers, going on and on about humanist topics worth? Streaming years worth of documentaries online about humanity, history, society - only to sit as it happens all over again? How can American liberals watch Republicans lie and say crazy things like immigrants will eat your pets, and laugh at it, and say damn we're not that stupid - but then Israel tells the world Palestinians and Syrians and Lebanese and pretty much every Arab in the world sleeps with a missile under their bed and you're like shit well here's billions of dollars and weapons go end them all? How can you not recognize the same techniques or just really so equally racist? What was the point of culture and movies or documentaries, even Star Wars -- any of these moralistic stories, if you all just sit here and let it happen again without saying a word? Does it have to come dressed in the same attire for you to recognize it?

I don't use FB a ton lately but I will post this here. I don't even try to share overly or get too personal online but with this, I feel it's not good for my soul to not say something more. Fuck Trump forever and I hope he loses or better yet dissolves into a pile of goo, but how can anyone else actually sit at ease or stay silent when this this current admin is fully supporting this and signing off to attack aid workers? If fascism is bad...isn't fkn' genocide?? Are you really ok if its not inside America?? Really? Even good ole American dad Tim Walz says he supports this mass death, so there's your cuddly football coach for you.

I cannot in good faith back my government's actions or those supporting this. This is beyond atrocious and I only can wish people can find their true hearts.

I get that human beings just aren't there yet, we are pretty much just mostly hairless apes fresh off the plains. I try not to be very misanthropic because I don't expect too much from people in the first place. I think there is an endless amount of love and beauty in people.

Still I'm disheartened by my own people on the 'good' side mostly. And with, ignorant celebs like Bill Maher are obviously assholes, most know that I guess, but still. Watching him and other libs saying gay people would be thrown off of a roof by Palestinians, just weeks after I literally watched Israelis blindfold Palestinians and throw them off of a building to their deaths, one after the other, feels like the most demonic gaslighting. Is there some throwing people off of buildings morality system I'm unaware of, or is that generally like, a terrible thing to do? And if being homophobic is a reason for genocide, then what of many of my Texan neighbors, Trump supporters, and the entire USA or half the planet? And I know this is crazy but, I wouldn't want to burn them alive or use white phosphorous on them or starve entire Republican cities to death either. Go figure?

I have friends in Israel and all over that I care for much, I want peace and safety for as many in this world as can be. But there is no way I can defend this, or any apartheid system for that matter.

There is nothing anyone can do that justifies this being done to anyone. Not terrorism, nothing. If you think 'terrorism' justifies collective death punishment and starvation maybe it's time to reconsider if you have a soul.

At very least perhaps we can like, not starve half a million people this month and fight for their dignity. Even just more people saying anything at all.

DIGNITY, something all humans deserve.

Wishing everyone truly a beautiful week and life, and hoping for much better for everyone.

[adventuretolkienlover]

Hello! This is were I introduce myself properly! My name is JP! I have few other online names, but that what you can call me here. :)

On this blog, you can expect a variety of posting, related to many different fandoms, ships, and topics. Since I've dabbled in lots of different things over the years. Usually anything related to history, literature, mythology, science, biology (speculative and real world), and world building will catch my eye. I also ADORE retrowave and vintage cartoons. Especially stuff from the 1980s, if you can't already tell from my blog theme. Lol.

I'm also an artist, writer, amateur character designer, and amateur script writer, looking to develop shows and movies for everyone to enjoy!

This blog is mostly a place for me to save interesting info, cool art, and inspiration for my personal projects. But I do post art and writing every once and in a while. So keep an eye for any stuff that comes up.

My interests change wildly and rapidly thanks to my ADHD. But my favorite fandoms are these.

- Scooby Doo! (One of my favorite TV shows! Fell in love with this show as a teenager and have been loving Scooby ever since! I would love to chat about this one! #1 Shaggy x Velma shipper!)

- Ninjago! (Best Lego show ever!!! Take a peek at my Ninjago blog at @the-ninjago-historian. But please don't ask any Ninjago related questions here, for the sake of organization. Please. I beg of you.🙏)

- TTTE and the RWS by Reverend William Awdry. (Nervous about sharing this one. Please don't judge me. I like railway history and fantasy. It's a perfect combination of both. I've ADORED it since I was a child. Check out my blog @dragons-and-magic for stuff involving The Railway Series, Dragons, and Xenofiction in general. I have a lot of art there for a TTTE Dragon AU I'm making. Again, please direct all TTTE questions there, thanks.)

- I'm also kinda dabbling in a few other fandoms like Sonic The Hedgehog, Transformers, Pokemon, ROTTMNT, etc. We'll see where that goes.

ASK RULES - No NSFW - No Cyber Bullying - No Discourse - No Politics

That's it! This is a stress free blog. (Goodness knows I need it after everything I've lived through.😅😭) I try to keep this blog PG, but sometimes stuff won't be. So, block the tag #Discourse if you want to avoid any discourse that may get posted for some wild reason. Anything else triggering will be tagged accordingly as well.

🚨ALSO, feeding my work into AI is NOT allowed. Please don't do that.🚨

Thanks for checking my blog out and I hope you enjoy yourself! Don't hesitate to ask questions about my projects either if I happen to post any. The questions help me develop them further!

Peace out my dudes!✌️☮️🌈

[wickedsrest-rp]

Name: Memphis Malik Species: Medium Occupation: Paramedic Age: 27 Years Old Played By: Cody Face Claim: Anirudh Pisharody

"I’m running on about two hours of sleep and last night my little sister told me that I failed her gaming friend’s ‘vibe check’. So as you can imagine, I’m emotionally devastated."

TW: Parental death

Sanjeev and Priya Malik were avid birdwatchers. Star crossed lovers turned lawyers, anytime they could escape the courtroom or paperwork they were traveling - cameras and books in hand, competing to try to capture the best picture of the rarest birds. Once they had their first and only child, the hobby began to slowly die down until they stopped doing it entirely. Memphis Malik never met his grandparents, both had passed long before he had any memories of them. Yet he knew this fact, and so many more about both of them. Mostly because they never shut the hell about it.

Memphis had no clue two people could be so bitter about not being able to birdwatch. Or that their only child had chosen to become a teacher instead of lawyers like they had been. Or really, everything under the sun. But since Memphis was a little kid, he could see both of his grandparents clear as day as if the two of them had never passed. And unfortunately for him, he could hear them too; and all the opinions that came with them.

Unfortunately for Memphis, they weren’t the only ones. His powers had activated earlier than most, or so his mother had told him. The ability to see and speak to the dead, an ability that was apparently not exclusive to their family. What seemed to be exclusive though was the rate at which they became ghosts. For as long as anybody could remember, every single Malik that passed away returned as a ghost. Forced to exist on this Earth until they lost any sense of themselves and were forced to be exorcized. That was apparently a unique Malik family trait. They all wanted something from the remaining Malik’s. Their exact ask changed from ghost to ghost but it all boiled down to one common desire: peace. Everyone wanted to move on, and that wasn’t something Memphis could help them do.

Despite this, growing up wasn’t terrible. Both of his parents supported Memphis and tried to keep the ghosts from bothering him too much. Sure, school was a nightmare when one of his ancestors would show up and scream at him to deliver a letter to a former loved one or to find a box hidden under a mattress and throw it away without looking at what was in it- gross - but overall, he had developed coping mechanisms and had his parents and his younger sister that helped him not only get through school - but medical school and residency too. 

Memphis couldn’t provide his family peace, so he wasn’t sure why he thought he could keep his forever. When his parents were taken from him, everything started falling apart. The worst part? His parents were right there as ghosts, watching him fall to pieces without being able to do anything about it. 

Now it was just Memphis and his little sister Clarissa, who so far hadn’t shown any signs of being a medium herself. Not yet, at least. But whatever his parents had been doing to distract the ghosts didn’t exist anymore, and for now the only person left to bear the brunt of this curse was Memphis. He may already be cursed, but he would be damned if he was going to become some lonely, trapped spirit like the rest of his family did. Most importantly, he refused to make Clary have to deal with it. So now it was on him to find a way to finally put an end to it.

Character Facts:

Personality: Friendly, exhausted, clueless, cautious, scatter-brained, distracted, paranoid

Memphis almost always wears large, noise-canceling headphones. They have become the most reliable way to tune out whatever member of his family had shown up to wreak havoc on his life. Unfortunately this also comes at the cost of him tending to block out the rest of the world as well

Memphis has spent his entire life trying to avoid his family’s spirits. So much so that he’s never really explored the other sides of the supernatural world in White Crest. 

Memphis has taken over sole custody of his twelve year old sister, Clary. She has basically become his entire world now, and he is entirely too dependent on her. She could use some space.

Between the ghosts constantly trying to grab his attention, the hospital, and caring for a twelve year old - Memphis is very tired. 

Something seems to keep his family members from expressing exactly how they died. Memphis is no expert on curses, but he’d say that was definitely suspicious.

While Memphis did finish med school, the death of his parents made things too difficult to continue his residency. He dropped out shortly after to focus on taking care of his sister.

[dragonflight203]

Mass Effect 2 replay, Garrus’ loyalty mission:

-Bailey thinks someone is feeding Fade inside information and that’s how he’s avoiding C-Sec. This is the first hint that “Fade” is Harkin.

-In the warehouse, you immediately meet “Fade” (really his contact) who asks you who needs to disappear.

This feels like part of the mission is missing. Why is Fade’s contact here? Why does he assume someone needs to disappear?

I suspect part of the mission to trigger this contact was cut. I’m curious why. Garrus’ mission is already short.

-If you don’t take the renegade interrupt to shoot them, the krogan bodyguards just leave.

That’s pretty funny. The game clearly wanted you to shoot them.

I have the impression one of the developers asked “So, what do we do if the player doesn’t shoot?” and another said, “Eh, for now just have them walk away. We’ll come up with something later.” Then they didn’t.

-The contact mentions that Harkin is helping Blue Suns infiltrate organizations and businesses on the Citadel.

Why are they doing so? They’re a mercenary group.

This is the first and last time it’s mentioned, so add this to the tally of hooks ME2 provides that ME3 doesn’t use.

-And Harkin is conveniently at the entrance of the Factory District when Shepard and co show up out of the blue.

Their timing today is amazing. That made it easier to find the right factory. Can you imagine how long it would have taken if Shepard had to check each factory to find Harkin? Or if he was at home that day?

-Garrus says he’ll give Sidonis an easy death compares to what the rest of his men received. It’s implied they were tortured.

No wonder their deaths are haunting him.

-In Thane’s mission, Shepard chooses (or not) to beat up Mouse for information. Thane would prefer the mission was nonviolent.

In Garrus’ mission, Garrus beats up Harkin for information. Shepard chooses whether or not to hold him back.

Thane’s at the end of a long and bloody life and making what peace he can with it. Garrus is essentially having an early mid life crisis about the direction his life will go.

Garrus isn’t an assassin, but he has chosen to kill many men in cold blood. I think he’d benefit from speaking with Thane.

-Garrus is only reflective on this mission if Shepard challenges his decision to kill Sidonis.

If they do not, Garrus accomplishes exactly what he sets out to do and closes that part of his life. Nothing forces him to think more deeply about it.

Given that most of the loyalty missions are meant to drive character growth, I assume that Bioware expected players to go the paragon route.

-Shepard has a lot of faith that Garrus won’t shoot them. I’m sure he has bullets that can go through more than person.

-Even after you tell him that you’re blocking Garrus’ shot, Sidonis keeps moving. He decides to lean over a railing!

That’s the clearest evidence that he has a death wish.

-What finally convinces Garrus to not shoot Sidonis is Sidonis saying there’s nothing he can do to make his actions right.

I think that’s what Garrus really wanted – to hear Sidonis take responsibility and admit that he fucked up.

Turians take personal responsibility very seriously, so that’s probably what showed Garrus that Sidonis had some chance of doing better.

-The mission summary says that Cerberus has operatives in C-Sec. Lovely. And a bit of foreshadowing for the Citadel Coup in ME3.

Normandy

-Thane says that when he married Irikah, the hanar let him leave their service. He chose to continue to freelance.

The lengths this drell is willing to go to deny he has any culpability in the assassinations he’s performed is impressive.

Also, I wonder how Irikah felt about it?

If nothing else, the assassinations kept Thane from home. Did she ever wish he’d quit and take a job that let him stay with the family? I’m sure he could have found something, even if it didn’t pay as well.

-After killing his wife’s murderers, Thane was passively suicidal until he met Shepard.

Understandable. He’s said repeatedly his wife is what connected him to the world. Without her, he was adrift.

He should have reconnected with Kolyat, but I can understand why he’d feel that Kolyat was better off without him. He did mention in his loyalty mission that he checked in with him after killing his wife’s murderers, but decided to stay away.

-Samara has two conversations after her initial post-loyalty dialogue. Unusual, except for Mordin.

-Unlike everyone else, attempting to initiate a relationship with Samara is renegade.

-She lets you down very gently. She seems genuinely attracted to Shepard but resolute that she is not going to pursue it.

-If you stay renegade throughout, she implies sex without emotion is common for maidens. She’s only interested in sex with a connection.

-The entire point of this conversation is to establish that Samara is not a romance option.

It’s actually pretty funny that Bioware felt this required its own independent conversation.

I’m happy they did so – Bioware leaned hard on asari being “available” in ME1. It’s a good counterbalance to have an asari squadmate that isn’t interested.

-Garrus believes that Shepard will win but they’ll definitely lose people.

I look forward to proving him wrong.

-Good turians follow bad orders and know their place. Garrus is a rebel because he argues against bad decisions.

Garrus in fandom is often considered a “yes man” because he always goes along with Shepard’s decisions. Yet his willingness to question Shepard until his concerns are appeased are what make him a bad turian.

Turians that don’t fit in because they argue too much are probably fast tracked for command or tapped for special operations, such as spectres.

-Turian ships have more operations discipline but greater personal freedom.

I’m curious about what this like. How is operation discipline tighter? What personal freedoms do they have?

I don’t know much about miliatry operations. I suppose they’re given less leeway on how tasks are performed.

For personal freedoms – less strict uniform requirements? Able to take drugs while off duty? Fewer restrictions on relationships?

Give me examples, Bioware! I enjoyed those ME1 info dumps.

-Turians are implied to be highly active. Their ships have training rooms for exercise, combat sims, and they engage in full contact sparring.

I’m left with the impression that one of the responsibilities of their leaders is keeping them busy so they don’t find their own distractions. Like how you need to give a livestock dog a job or they’ll find their own. :) Turians need ACTION and will provide their own if not given any. If you want the ship to remain intact, make them burn off that energy.

-When speaking about the scout he sparred with, Garrus casually says the “betters” in the room were not pleased that they kept drawing.

The choice of the word “betters” is telling of the Hierarchy mindset. I bet Garrus casually uses the word “lessers” too and doesn’t mean it as an insult.