#but i cant wait to show off my notes theyre so pretty c:

[addchemistry]

Hello~!

Well, I guess this is my intro post to the world of studyblr! My name is Anni, she/her, and I recently turned 18. I am currently in my last 3-4 weeks (holy shit...I did not realize it was that soon o.O) of grade 12 (last year of high school) in Manitoba, Canada. I'm a French immersion student! I love math and music, and to some degree, chemistry (it's complicated :p). My current courses are:

• band 40s

• advanced math 45s

• chem40s

• EngLit40s

• physed40s

Plus jazz choir and GSA as extracurriculars. Our provincial English exam started *literally* today and goes til the 31st, math exam and band concert are *both* on June 5, and my chem exam isn't until June 18 lol c: I'm currently behind as hell on my English work and chem stuff. But I wanna work through it and finish the year off strong, if not for anything but scholarship money!

Next year I am registered for a bachelor of science with a major in chemistry. I hope to minor in math, I think. I've picked out my courses but I'm not registered yet, so I won't say what they are right now. c:

Another thing that's *very* important to kmow about me, especially in this context, is that I have ADD (attention deficit disorder - blanket term is ADHD w/ the H standing for "hyperactive" - but i am not hyperactive c: ). Because of this, I have struggled with handing in work on time and studying my whooooole life, including like, elementary school. I've been dancing around different medications for like four years now and still haven't quite found the right match for me. Bottom line, getting the marks I want is very difficult when I don't do the work - something I rly want fixed for university next year. I will almost *definitely* post an ADD rant here and there on this blog, because school is a large part of my life, and it....fucks with it pretty bad. Sometimes you just gotta rant yo (I will be tagging these and other similar posts with "anni rants" if you don't wanna read stuff like that, it's all good c: ). Also, because of ADD, messages, asks, and group chats are...kind of incredibly distracting. This isn't to say don't contact me!!! Just, please don't feel bad if I take forever to answer, and maybe don't spam? I guess? It's just, if I'm really hyperfocusing on studying (for once in my damn life lmao) and I have, say, a group chat going off every ten seconds, it pulls me out of my zone and it's damn hard to get back in. Actually frankly if that happens anytime it pulls me away from my current train of thought and I've lost whatever task it is I'm working on. I know I can't expect everyone to cater to my needs, that's ridiculous - I need to figure out how best to deal with it. All I ask is that, since I have so little *time* to figure all that shit out, please be respectful and patient. 'Specially if I get grumpy. It's just super duper frustrating - but guaranteed I'll probably apologise for it soon after idk. It's complicated and weird and there's not a lot of resources to help with it, I guess. I really don't mean to be rude - in most cases, it'll probably jsut take me awhile to answer any messages (between like a day to......a week or more XD)! Please don't take this as a roadblock to becoming friends or smthn c:

So, with that in mind, here's a concise list of my goals for this blog!

• kick my last three weeks of gr12's ass

• start to develop a study habit for university (through studying for my gr12 math&chem exams)

• learn to enjoy studying (...i am not sure this is fully possible)

• discover the best methods/workspace/study schedule that works with MY brain

• slowly organize my health&fitness life (I know it's not studying, but it still counts as Like, getting my life together)

• maybe?? start incorporating learning goals (such as continuing my fsdhdjing Italian studies) that don't have to do w school???

• develop the self restraint to get off games/social media/etc when I really should be working (if you think it's hard now, try doing it when ur brain chemicals want nothing to do w starting things......)

I think that's it! Big shout out to @subitoscience for giving me a bit of an intro post outline lol c: I can't make an about rn because I a) don't know how and b) blog primarily on mobile, but if you send me an ask I will try my darndest to answer it. Oh! And if you want to be friends/study buddies/whatever y'all do on here, feel free to message me! As I said it might take awhile, but I rly do want new friends to talk school w and keep me accountable c:

Anyway that's all rn from me! Stayed tuned for me maybe finally finishing Othello or smthn idk man. Something, probably.

[tobebugjewce]

THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series

first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over

which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.

so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.

i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here

without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1

clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.

firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING 

the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case

i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case

i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.

i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!

i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974

i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.?? 

i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.

i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape

THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2 

Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978

awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx

this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK. 

so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;

Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978

then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link;  “https://youtu” 

claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.

i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files; 

relocate X/X/75 felix

storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)

Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten

Shipping Service 1975

New Location -> 1982

i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974

starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.

i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;

Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)

i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote; 

Technical Support 1978 

then, 

Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)

alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;

- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod

- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;

- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho

i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;

- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.

- Tape #4 - Unkown Date

- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978 

- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;

TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB

holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;

12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao

found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did

Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao

Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??

starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;

“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless: 

at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;

@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*

okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well. 

might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[zombieratt]

Alright so forewarning this is LONG as FUCK specifically because i came up with this idea in early high school and was just today POSESSEd By the Spirit Of Musical Theatre to put it to paper— er Tumblr.

So without further ado:

DEAR EVAN HANSEN BUT EVAN ISNT A TERRIBLE PERSON AND CONNOR LIVES.

the beginning is the same, canon diverges just after waving through a window.

*this ended up getting written is script format? i also just sorta ignore alana’s whole exsistance bc in this version of the play she’s unnecessary*

In the moments before he talks to Connor evan decides to omit Zoe from his letter, having resolved himself to move on from her. (instead of being a hella creep.)

Connor: “dear Evan Hansen,” what are you writing letters to yourself? *he laughs*

Evan: its, uh, its for my therapist. its just a stupid little assignment that she says is supposed to help me process my feelings or— uh or something

Connor: hm. here. * hands Evan the letter*

Connor: your cast. no one’s signed it.

Evan: uh no. no one has.

Connor: gotta sharpie?

Evan: huh?

Connor: gotta sharpie? im gonna sign it.

Evan: *handing the sharpie to Connor* w- whuh uh why?

Connor: *shrugs* feels right.

Evan: i wish i could do that

Connor: what?

Evan: UH, IMEAN—

Connor: no wait- dude.

Evan: i mean uh, i meant that i wish i could just be, y’know impulsive like that.

Connor: Why Cant you be?

Evan: i uh, my heads pretty messed up, and stuff like that just, makes it worse i guess.

Connor: well theres some thing we have in common— were both fucked up in the head.

*the bell rings*

Evan: oh shoot! i missed the bus—

Connor: i’ll give you a ride.

Evan: are you sure i mean i can walk its not far-

Connor: all the more reason, i probably have to pass it on my way home anyway, cmon.

——

they meet Zoe in the parking lot

Zoe: I have Late practice today

Connor: whatever, gotta passenger.

Zoe: who the fuck would be crazy enough to trust your ability to drive?

Evan *being Brave*: Me Apparently?

Zoe: Uh, Evan Right?

Evan: yeah, uh, yeah.

Zoe *holding her hand out to be shaken*: i’m Zoe, we’ve met though right?

Evan wipes his hand on his shirt and shakes it: yeah, uh, nice to formally meet you, Zoe.

Zoe: i’m off, don’t kill him stoner.

Connor: i wont Princess

Evan breathing heavy: that was,, an eventful ten minutes.

Connor: oh fuck— you cool? or—

Evan: Panic Attack.

Connor: Right, uh

Connor: can you get in the car?

Evan: yeah

*car nonsense*

Connor: Can i start driving or do you want me to wait

Evan: Distractions are good,, Can Uh, Can you Talk about Stuff?

Connor: What stuff!??

Evan: any Stuff!

Connor: Is Zoe okay??

Evan: Sure?!

Connor: Uhh we don’t get along as well as we used to?

we were really close as kids, shes a huge asshole now but *fully venting now*

i kind of miss it you know? having someone to talk to and care about— and i still care about her— but its scary and i always fuck it up! not to mention the fact that our parents hate me— make her see me as some alien and not just a fucked up kid who wants to talk and — (more ranting that i dont feel like writing, but its a whole monologue bro)

Evan: Connor

Connor snaps his mouf shut: yeah

Evan: thanks

Connor: oh that, uh actually helped?

Evan: yeah focusing on your voice and whats real and stuff— it makes a difference.

Neither of them noticed that Connor was just sort of Driving. they end up at the park where in canon Connor commits Sewer-slide.

Evan: i didn’t know there was a park here.

Connor: huh, oh, yeah i guess i just sorta auto piloted, i come here to think.

Evan: About stuff?

Connor: Yeah, Stuff.

*the convo lulls*

Connor: do you have a laptop?

Evan: no, i uh, i left it at home? why?

Connor: give me a second

Connor walks to the car and grabs his back pack out of the back seat

Evan watches Quizzically from the swing-set

Connor pulls out a Sketch Pad and Pen, flipping to a clean page.

Connor: So tell me how to write one of those letters of yours.

Evan: uh, well you start like any other letter- just addressing it to yourself

Connor writing: Dear Connor Murphy,

Evan: and uh, my first one was supposed to be about my ideal summer vacation? since i started in middle school- but you don’t have to—

Connor: thats perfect.

Connor starts to sing for forever,

eventually Evan joins in there is a minor gay moment where they’re holding hands face to face.

the song ends with Connor hugging Evan.

Evan: its- its pretty late.

Connor obviously crying: just— just a couple more minutes.

Evan lets go and grabs Connors sketch book of the ground, closing it and handing it off to him: then how about this, labor day weekend- we actually go.

Connor: what are you talking about?

Evan: being spontaneous?

Connor: o-okay.

and it cuts to black.

theres a small montage here, as the set changes to Connor and Evans bedrooms

sincerely, me is a lament in this context, Connor and Evan are duetting from their respective rooms, writing to themselves.

(the lyrics are completely different and i will not be writing them here because thats too much fucking effort.

but they’re duetting from their bedrooms about making a connection to another person, feeling seen, for the first time. what it felt like and how they really want to keep it up but are afraid of making a mistake and ruining it.

its got some themes of waving thru a window, and a little bit of for forever, but its still largely the same notes just in a different key.)

after wards, Zoe knocks on Connors door to tell him dinner is ready to find him peacefully asleep.

requiem is the same, Zoe sees Connor as Dead to Her instead of actually dead, so some of the wording changes, so and so about how a monster doesn’t deserve peaceful rest etcetera.

school day happens, Connor doesn’t die, but the hot goss is that everyone saw Connor and Evan go home together after school, jared makes a shitty homophobic joke to Evan and Evan kind of tells him off about it. they argue and it culminates in Evan saying “well god forbid I’m friends with someone who isn’t YOU!” or smth like tht and it hits jared right the fuck at home man.

Connor says from the side lines: damn that was pretty hard core dude.

Evan: you have, no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.

Connor honest to god l a u g h s, theres a number of people who hear it and lose their shit, Zoe being one of them: i have a pretty good idea, wanna get some lunch?

Evan: yeah, sure.

this general routine continues until labor day weekend, when they plan to go on their little escape. theres a short scene of Connor leaving the house with his keys and a backpack.

Connors mom confronts Zoe about his oddly upbeat attitude and hows he’s seemed differently lately Zoe Shrugs but decides to investigate his room.

she finds the letters. the first one is for forever, the theme plays as she reads it frantically, and is signed “Sincerely me (connor murphy)” so she knows its him, i f i could tell her begins but its a real duet between Connor and Zoe and at the end she resolves to try harder to connect to him.

Evan sings disappear to Connor after breaking into a formerly public park, in this context its him confessing that he broke his arm attempting su!c!de. Connor records it, for personal reference.

jared hacks Connors phone and steals the video, posting it to yt, in an effort to ruin their friendship.

Evan and Connor get in a little fight about it, and in the meantime Evan is called to the school to give an assembly because hes a phenomenal speaker and Disappear got like 1000000 views over night.

Zoe and Connor bond a little bit in a short scene before the assembly

Zoe: wheres Evan what happened?

Connor: Kleinman Did!

Zoe: what?

Connor: Why Do you care?

Zoe: because! you look happy around him!

Connor: i, i do?

Zoe: yeah? he could tell the worst joke ever written and you’d crack up. i haven’t heard you laugh like that in years Connor, maybe ever.

Connor: oh.

Zoe: Come back inside?

Connor: y, Yeah.

they all perform You Will Be Found together.

end act 1.

(no more dialogue from here i got tired)

to break in a glove is Connor’s dad trying to reconnect with him, it goes mediocrely, but Connor feels like hes being seen by his dad for the first time in years. its said in metaphors, but this is Connors dads way of saying that if Connor is willing to put in the work, so is he. they hug at the end, things are looking up. some talk of therapy is sprinkiled in the dialogue as they walk of stage together.

Only Us is Evan and Connor saying that they saved each other. its loosely romantic, as its a love song, but they don’t out right say that they’re in love or anything, they don’t know if theyre ready for that. its a promise. the song ends with Connor finally apologizing for pushing Evan over at the beginning of the show.

good for you is sung by jared only, as a power ballad, about losing people you didn’t treasure. its his attempt at an apology, but it ultimately fails, since jared is unable to take responsibility for his own actions. this is where jared and Evan go their separate ways.

Evan’s mom comforts him, as he sings words fail, which is about specifically jared, and how their rocky friendship is ruined and Evan pegs himself as the cause, instead of parents or perfect girl he uses metaphors that apply to best friends— maybe more. and talks about how he didn’t try, he was happy so he ignored that jared was hurting, and how that was really shitty of him. but instead of it being a generally somber song the end is lighter, because Connor is there— waving through his front window.

Evans mom sings So Big/So Small as Evan steps out the front door to embrace Connor and they mime talking about jared, hug and take hands. the house moves off stage in preparation for the finale.

Connor and Evan open the finale saying each others names, and sing it together as the test of the cast (minus jared) joins in, Evans mom taking his hand and Zoe Taking Connors, Evans mom the Murphys and Zoe break off to the back where Evan and Connor finish the final “all i see is sky for forever” while looking into each others eyes, and finish the musical by embracing (maybe kissing if thats ur jam).

[losangelesvalorant]

final thoughts on games today:

Tl;dr: london is going to have Issues with a capital I, paris is fine and will be better w hanbin, boston were okay and them losing just solidifies how fucking scary and well-oiled nyxl is rather than boston being terrible. Titans, like usual, have no respect for their opponents and could be even scarier /if/ they wanted to be, valiant pops off sometimes but cant do it consistently, shock looks rusty and dallas needs to pocket decay even harder than they already are to win games.

london: i see a lot of potential in them, but until they gain confidence they’re c tier for me. They seem overcoached and lost when they aren’t unable to go through with their set plays, of which they way too many for each map. When they were able to play their game, they cycled their ults well, but were easily forced out of their comfort zone. Bernar tried his best to carry, but jmac looked lost and wasn’t able to bait nicodgh’s walls at all, that might be a problem w coordination w sanguinar for speedboost tho. babel wasn’t quick enough to get his walls out in time, though they were great when he did. Glister and highly tried their best, sanguinar seems to play very individualistically which gave london chances, but fdgod just outplayed him mostly. Once teams figure out how to play vs them they’re fucked unless the coaches move away from set plays and unless the team builds more confidence. This team is going to suffer with hero pools if they don’t fix something quick. London honestly and truly has a TON of potential, but not the coordination or confidence or coaching to utilize it.

paris: they’re gonna be scary as they get more coordinated! Can’t wait til they can run at full strength w better tanks. They made good adaptations and looked good doing it. Nicodgh’s walls were sick, nosmite looked great, fdgod is a fragger, xzi clicked heads and greyy and hyp did good too. Benbest i didnt watch. I really like what i see with this team, but we haven’t seen them at full strength so i dont feel like i have much to say about them. Definitely a dark horse for me. They should thrive with hero pools. 

nyxl: nyxl looks as dominant as ever. They’re coordinated, smart, aware, turn impossible situations around, and quickly shut down every win condition boston had before they could even execute it. Though whoru’s mei is def the weak link for me (his walls kinda suck. I think theyre just giving him stage experience here tbh. His genji slaps tho), him and sbb/nenne are a scary duo, everything that can be said abt jjonak and anamo has been said already (They are the best. They are the best. They are the best.), and mano and hotba are both doing excellently. I dont feel that this is their optimal meta, but nyxl has showed a lot of willingness to adapt to their opponents and make swaps, which i like. I’m not worried for them in hero pools, though they might stumble a bit. They’re solidly in S tier for me now

boston: This is gonna be controversial (and take this w a grain of salt cuz im plat.) but boston played better than i expected cuz im a pessimist and was expecting them to get completely rolled, and they at least showed some signs of life. They’ve clearly scrimmed a lot of different comps and looked at least vaguely competent in them, which is more than dallas valiant and london can say. They tried to go for a lot of clutches which never rly worked. they tried to adapt, but nyxl outmatched them and kinda drove them away. Axxiom and fusions were coordinated and i liked their dive, their double shield not so much. boston dps were holding their own, swimmer and myunbong were too, there’s not rly a carry on this team. axxiom i think is being slept on tho. They could definitely kite better and coordinate more, and make faster/smarter swaps, but they at least looked pretty synergized. They were clearly outmatched but they def looked better throughout the whole series than london did vs nyxl after the first 2 maps. Boston seems like a B- tier team to me, but they could be better and i do want to see them play more before im certain abt this. I’d call this a quality loss despite the scoreline

vancouver: Titans clearly didn’t prep much for this match and didn’t respect valiant as much as they should have. There’s no weak points on this team, just that all of them went for clutches they shouldn’t have and got punished for it bc they assumed valiant would be weaker than they were. Titans hate being methodical but are great when they are. When they subbed stitch in, they went for more dumb plays it seemed like, so i bet sms is the one keeping them chill. Fissure’s playing bumper style (taking space and dying for it) but quieter, which I like, bc it means they can pocket haksal harder and let twilight go for more plays. Good adaptations, great plays, great synergy, once titans got their feet under them and downloaded valiant it was over. Their dive was soooo clean. Nothing to be said about this roster that hasnt been said already (theyre the best). This is classic titans and im glad to see losing bumper hasnt completely stopped them from doing dumb shit, cuz even if it hurts me to watch its fun. They should be absolutely fine with hero pools, S tier.

valiant: Valiant only have one comp and theyre Very good at it, especially in the mirror, but theyre having trouble adapting to titans. They have very high highs and very low lows, they also try to clutch sometimes and fuck up. When the team pops off theyre sick, when they dont they… dont. Gig is a madlad. I do like that they prepped for the titan’s bap strat on lijiang and shut it down entirely, that was very good coaching, but they weren’t able to adapt to non-mirror matches after that. They might get fucked by hero pools bc they didn’t show anything successfully other than rein/dva variations, but we’ll see. I'm finding them fun to watch and I'm interested to see if they can consistently maintain their peak play. B tier, i think their weaknesses are more exploitable than boston’s but that boston would lose to them. Id compare them to hunters last year but if hunters played meta

shock: I didnt watch this match super close tbh. Shock looks strong as usual, but they stumbled far too much for my liking when they let doha and decay get value but otherwise incredibly dominant. Architect’s ana got sooooo much value as the series went on, beautiful sleeps beautiful nades beautiful nanos etc *chefs kiss.* i dont think shock prepped super hard for them, and they rly couldve adapted better on horizon and won that map, but it was overall dominant. They seemed pretty rusty honestly but theyre still good, but they should be pissed they got fullheld on horizon. I’m not going to draw any conclusions from this game when it comes to shock bc its one game and its their first game back. S tier, they’ll be fine with hero pools.

Dallas: Dallas looked way better than yesterday, when decay and doha were unleashed and it was less about taking space they were monsters. Tank play was better but not great, glad theyre not making note play rein anymore. Decay is a god and doha played around him really well and his walls were sick. When decay couldn’t play mccree and couldnt get support, there was nothing dallas could do. Gamsu… seemed a bit tilted and used ults he shouldnt have. There were also communication issues, it didnt seem like trill called some of his shatters which meant the team couldnt follow up. They weren’t able to adapt that well without set strats, and other teams will use that to their advantage. Once a team figures out how to shut down doha and decay the game is over. C tier, will struggle in hero pools

right now rankings for me go titans, nyxl shock in S tier, glads in A tier, toronto, paris, valiant, boston in B tier, dallas, london in C tier

[subidol]

Jaemin NSFW A-Z

Warning: 00 LINE SMUT! DON’T LIKE DON’T READ!

THIS IS MY OPINION BTW!!

SORRY FOR MISTAKES I DIDN’T CHECK LOL.

FML IF I FORGOT A LETTER 

A- Aftercare

Na Jaemin is amazing at giving aftercare. Firstly, he’d just cuddle with you for a few minutes, stroking your hair peacefully. If you didn’t fall asleep already, he’d definitely get up and make you a hot drink. He might run a bath for the two of you, where he’d already decorated the bathroom with petals and candles. It’d be so cheesy but thats Nana for you. Then to settle you back to sleep after a long round, he’ll sing you to sleep quietly, kissing your forehead every once in a while.

B- Body (Your favourite part of his body and his favourite part of yours)

Well, i can’t exactly guess your favourite part of Jaemin’s body, but i sure as hell love his arms.

Like...how dare he attack you like this?? They may not be the most muscled arms in NCT, but they are nicely toned and you just adore laying your head on them, and giving his shoulders and biceps kisses. His favourite body part of yours is most likely your cheeks (face cheeks lmao); he loves squishing them and kissing them, pinching them, you name it. But he also loves your breasts, whether they’re big or small, because he wants to reassure you that he loves them. Also uses them as pillows ehehe.

C- Cum

When you’re comfortable, and on the pill, he prefers coming inside of you since he feels it is very intimate. However, he knows how risky it is so he will only do this every once in a while. He’d be really tidy though. His pullout game is strong lol. 

D- Dirty Secret

Secretly up for having a threesome/foursome with either Jeno or Jeno and Renjun. But we all knew that, didn’t we? Only if you were up for it though.

E- Experience (how experienced they are)

Obviously, Jaemin is an experienced flirter, but hasn’t has much experience with sex, since he’s only just legal. My belief is that he’s probably had blowjobs, fingered a girl, etc but never gone too far. However, i believe he’d be a natural in bed. Freaking perfect at eating you out, cockwarming, and doing all the right things to turn you on. Thrusts like a god. 

F- Favourite Position

It depends on the mood, but he likes it when you ride him, since he gets a nice view of your face and breasts bouncing up and down. He does enjoy missionary though, since Jaemin likes to take control over the situation so you don’t have to worry about anything. He will never try positions you weren’t comfortable with. If you were up for it, he’d try anything new if that’s what you wanted cause he’ll literally do anything for you.

G- Goofy

Jaemin is like a lightswitch; one moment hes all giggly and cute, but as soon as you get into bed he’s as serious and sexy as ever. He doesn’t want to ruin the hot mood. He’ll be really romantic though- constantly asking you if you’re okay or if you want him to go slower or faster. 

H- Hair

He keeps it messy, but not too uneven. His hair tends to stick to his neck when he sweats, so just like he would practice a choreography,his hair would be all over the place when you’d get intimate, too, which you didn’t mind.

I- Intimacy

Jaemin loves being romantic and sees sexual acts as a way to bond passionately as well as expressing how much he trusts and wants you. He’s the type to lay rose petals on the bed or in the bath. Might even leave you cute little notes leading to the bed, where he’d be laying, waiting for you.

J- Jack Off

Nana probably masturbates quite a lot, since he’s a hormonal teenager, what else can i say. Honestly, he’ll just think of you as the one who is feeling him up, as he touches himself. Probably does it after fan meets, performances and practice, which makes him feel really turned on after hours of hard work.

K- Kink

Hmm...Nana seems like the type to have a thing to be dominant (not that he wouldn’t like being submissive) but not to the level of bondage, daddy kink, etc. Idk, he just seems too sweet and caring to ever tie you up or degrade you, even if its what you really wanted. He seems like the type to adore body worship and leaving hickies/scratches. He’d love leaving hickies on your neck, but would make sure not to go too rough unless you said so. No matter what, Nana lives for scratches on his back. Gripping his hair and raking your nails down his backis HIS THING OKAY. HE FUCKING LOVES IT COME @ ME.

L- Location (Favourite place to have sex)

The bed- it’s the most comfy, and all Nana cares about is your comfort, what a sweetie. I think he’d never have sex in public, but might finger you underneath the table or something. Loves bath sex too, since the water’s warm and has a nice aroma, which hightens the mood. 

M- Motivation (Turn Ons)

Seeing you in frilly clothes. I feel like he’d be attracted to lighter coloured clothes on you, like white and pink? Definitely gets him hard. Will like it when you play a  little hard to get, since he adores teasing you. Plus, if you rake your hands through his hair, squeeze his thigh and biting his ear, etc...you’re getting him worked up with those dangerous fingertips. When he really needs you, he ends up sexting you. A lot. Especially in class so be prepared lmao.

N- No (Turn Offs)

Strange kinks. They aren’t romantic. Things like foot fetish. Erm..yeah he isnt into it. He doesn’t like degrading, whether receiving or giving. He wouldn’t understand why you’d want to call each other such horrible names.

O- Oral

Jaemin, when receiving, is a whole hot mess. With his head thrown back, sweat covering his body, and his arm over his eyes, he looks fucking delicious.When hes giving oral, he literally will do anything to hear your cute moans, which often leads to him making you feel extreme pleasure. This boy is perfect at giving and putting on a show when receiving.

P- Pace

If you’re not the one setting the pace, then he prefers to keep it steady. Not slow exactly, but not speedy either. He wants to make sure you feel him, and he stretches you in all the right places. He loves slowly kissing you as he thrusts, but will end up bucking his hips and going faster when he’s building up to his climax. It’s not hard to tell when Jaemin’s close to an orgasm. He’ll mutter out things like ‘I love you, Princess.’ or just will simply let out a string of moans and pull you closer.

Q- Quickies

Jaemin’s the type to really crave quickies. Anytime really. However, if you’re not a fan of them, he’ll give himself major sexual frustration, and will eventually beg you to suck his cock later when the two of you are alone. But they’ve happened in recording studios MANY times before. 

R- Risk (His comfort zone)

He does enjoy doing it in front of other members, but doing it secretly, like underneath the blankets or something. Anything like knife or blood play is a big NO. He will NEVER take the risk. As i’ve said before, Jaemin likes cumming inside of you. He won’t ever do it without your permission though.

S- Stamina (How many rounds)

Jaemin thinks that one round is enough, but he’ll do other stuff with you after. Make out, spoon, give you hickies and will then give you a bath or watch tv you you. He likes to make the first round last, and for it to be as perfect as possible, which wouldn’t be a problem since hes amazing at sex.

T- Toy (His favourite sex toys)

Doesn’t mind vibrators being used on him, but finds it addicting when they’re used to torment you. Especially when you’re studying. He’d turn it on ad off repeatedly, getting you hot and bothered while in your lessons.

U- Unfair (How they tease you)

Nana is a whole tease. He’s a brat, okay? He’s a playful, teasing bratty switch who most of the time gets challenged for dominance because you plan on giving him a hard time for all of his flirting and relentless teasing. He does shit like wear sleeveless shirts on purpose, and biting his lip waaay too many times. Winks often and generally gives you the ‘I know you want to fuck me’ look. Also, Jaemin has a habit of getting you jealous by flirting with fans- you fucking hate that.

V- Volume (How vocal they are)

He struggles to be quiet sometimes, especially when you kiss and suck his body, near his arousal. Whines like hell when you scratch down his back and kiss his jawline. He tries to make his moans pretty and loud, since he knows its a turn on for you. Nana isn’t afraid about letting you know how good you make him feel. Always breathes heavily after his release, which is even hotter.

W- Wild Card (Author’s Choice)

Jaemin wouldnt be nervous having sex at all. The only time he might slightly panic is when it’s your first time. He wants the experience to be as pleasurable as possible, but then again, he is very confident, so there’d be no need to worry. He’d be extremely honoured if he was your first, and would prepare the entire thing leading up to it. He’s so sweet and gentle.

X- X-ray (Their Package)

You’re fucking welcome. I don’t own the vid.

Y- Yearning (Sex Drive)

Jaemin has a high sex drive, what can i say? He craves for your touch 24/7, and constantly thinks of fucking you at the most random of times. Touches himself twice a day when you’re not around, watches porn like any other boy, and looks at pictures of you. It takes a lot of courage for him to NOT fuck you in the dorm rooms.

Z- ZZZ (How fast they fall asleep after)

Nana falls asleep so fast. He has such energy before and during sex but as soon as he reaches his climax, hes exhausted from all the stimulation. All he’d want to do is cuddle with you after. Make sure you get him up at the right time though...or another member will. Eek.

Hope you enjoyed!

fuck this took ages

[rqs902]

.

my beautiful boys in the same screeeenn ill just ignore the clothes lol man look at jin fan’s side profile 

aw they look so happy lol how did dxy become kc 

lol when volunteer li hao on his CELL PHONE is a better video editor than the entire youku paid staff

oof the video was so funny and highlighted a bunch of the kids qualities like lin mua and csp’s cuteness and it was touching.... lol ycw “I DONT HAVE SLEEVES LEND ME YOUR SLEEVE” to wipe his tears loll

LOL im amused cto were some of zlj’s first friends and they guilt trip him into joining their groupppp HAHHAHA

pretty sure that was xue en telling zlj to be careful and put safety first :’) 

im literally crying at this suitcase

but also still wished they gave more screen time to everyone not-zlj LOL but i guess at least we saw some more lin ran and yzx. but zlj did do a great job!! i really appreciate his skill and im glad the non-cto kids said such nice things about cto aw but really their age difference is not that big??? LOLLLL making cto seem so old??? but xue en is only 1 year older than lin ran and 3 years older than cxh and ycw LOL plus 1998 is xikan’s age too lol.....

omg xo crew being all these creatives including li chenxu ayy thats cool, i feel like we havent gotten to know much about him so this puts him in a new perspective for me

is akey supposed to be in the group? LOL zhan yu is going wild for him tho LOL

im happy akey is making more rap friends!!! i feel like hes been working on that since qcyn

cjh has always seemed so real, i respect that

LOL hwx looks so awkward standing on stage in the middle. jin fan’s vooooiceeee and huang junrong yessss HAHAHAHA THE AKEY STANDEE IM CRYING HAHAHHA��man jin fan has gotten to live up to his vocal name in this show, i hope that makes him happy. he still !! has not !! shown off !! his bboy !! dancing skills !! :( 

LOL lin mo being so amused that akey had no idea about the standee. hes a dork. so were they not allowed to do 3 stages? bc i feel like akey wouldnt have needed that much extra prep time to do all 3 of his stages just sayinggg hahahha but ay extra tyger screen time ill take it! i can see why he picked the creatives group though, that performance definitely better fits his musical and stylistic interests. 

AYYY CSP DANCING but lol qby calling him cui duopeng aw 

omg so sparkly!! LOL syh looks so scandalized by their confetti ribbons HAHAHAHHA but yay for mxy really owning this stage! 

LOL the way lin mo’s face scrunches up when su er points out he’s “momo” and then he just nods and tells hwx “momo is supporting you from behind” awww

oh rip this luo jie gaokao segment, was this the last time they saw him? 

lol ycw is always the one with the doggo but i appreciate xzx for not abandoning him like everyone else so he could still do 100 ways and fulfill his dreams

LOL THE FACT THAT THEY USED THE 100 WAYS GROUP’S AUDIO LOL

aw good for them being able to make a fun and entertaining stage and do well and bring everyone amusement. lol ycw throwing random flower petals everywhere so casual 

LOL rip renyu hes just sitting there minding his own business and then gets personally attacked HAHAH TWICE hHHAHAHAHA 

LOLLL SBR YESS and sbh hahahhaha csp being all scared of why theyre watching him and sbr is just like oh nothing~

lolll xikan curling into a little ball when everyone else is laughing and csp’s “why did i lose again?” LOOL

oh rip bye yan an 

ouch syh..... going back to singapore to do adult things gosh i appreciate him going after mhw after it seemed like he had given up

man ycw cries a lot

kinda sad they cut the tyger perf BUT they did perform my favorite song (always thankful for akey’s composition skills!!!) AND at least they showed off zhan yu’s high notes and listed akey as a composer and gave lin mo some screen time to talk i guess its okay bc i appreciate the performances that they have shown fully so far, and i get that they cant show everyones in full. and it looks like all the kids liked the perf so thats fun

OOF A JUNRONG FEATURE THIS IS WHAT WE ALL NEEDED YESSS man i didnt realize he had so many show experiences already man.... ooo dxy vocal time!! 

OH GOSH THEY BROUGHT UP FAN YUUUUUUUU man the way renyu smiles watching fan yu play piano im softtt oof renyu’s voice is so nice even when hes like on the verge of crying

ahhh xu zhaohao’s song has me crying... i really like his voice too. 

wow im surprised so many of them took footage of themselves on their way to snzm? lol wait did they cut out li chenxu’s part on stage? 

HAHHAHAHHA LI HAO OMGG xu shengen wow this is amazing li hao is gonna be like a great director one day i can FEEL it. THE FACT THAT THIS IS THE ONLY PART OF THE ENTIRE EPISODE THATS SUBBED HAHAHHAHA look at li hao, making better videos than youku since 2020. li hao’s story man.... he and shengen and chenxu must be close 

i see why people were like whoa theres actually tygers in the next ep preview! what a unusual experience!! but ay there was huang enyu too! ahh he looks like hes desperate oh gosh but everyones crying it looks like :c ill keep my hopes up that lin mo’s is happy tears but its still rough to see 

aw su er...... oof the fact that they put in clips of some kids on other shows (i even saw super idol omg) and him putting lin mua at the end, they must really have grown to like that haha i saw someone posted about li hao saying he liked the lin mua too and appreciated that it was something lin mo promised to his fans. im glad they dont make fun of him for it in a mean spirited way. 

im grateful for this “extra” episode outside of the actual competition. they did seem to get to do performances that they wanted to be in. im guessing some kids’ perfs didnt get aired? so im hoping they get released elsewhere so we can still watch them. again i will say that having only half the number of trainees compared to other shows and having them for 3 stages rather than the usual 1 has allowed me to feel like ive gotten to know most (if not all?) of these kids, similar to how i felt about ip, which is nice. like i at least know their names and faces. at least it wasnt like qcyn where kids got eliminated before they even had 1 stage ugh. grateful and excited to see yixing again too next ep! hopefully this means we wont get some nonsense judging like last time... also excited to see momo with his pink hair! and in the same perf as zhan yu and akey (what happened to jin fan lol) everyone having colorful hair will be exciting! 

[homestuckisautistic]

Epilogue Summary: Meat part 1 (1-25)

So this is just my notes as i read it, theres too much to condense it succinctly. It will be very spoilery, and is intended to be a summary of key plot points for those who don't wish to read it themselves but want to know what happens. I'll try to avoid explicitely triggering content but I'll probably still describe what happens so be aware. Ill still make another post when i finish it with my overall thoughts

Number is what chapter it is, dashes are separate observations within that chapter.

1. Weird graphic description of John fuckin voring the meat. Why

2. -Jane is a facist now and xenophobic?? Amd running for president of earth. Could yall not with the trump comparison

- "DAVE: in the world that mattered more, i mean like

DAVE: the one i belonged to that i used to imagine had a real future

DAVE: that didnt involve meteors or a fish dictator or the american political landscape turning into a nightmarish daily joke"

Oh sweet summer child

-A predominantly human government is responsible for trol population control??

3. John punches Aranea in the face

5. Im p sure Dirk is a facist now too? But like that "cool" edgy alt right reddit type

-He. Literally shoots Jake with a tranquiliser to shut him up

6. John rounds up the other kids from various points along the Game Over timeline and has some thoughts on how hes basically pupeteering these kids to their impending doom

7. Dirk has the same condition as Rose, which she reffers to as "ascending to her ultimate self". Hes not suffering as much because presumably the heart effect of understanding people is less taxing than lights understanding...everything

9. Yeah as expected john and co go to perform the masterpiece and get trapped in the juju for "quadrillions of years from your perspective" fuck you

10. -Firstly chapter from Jane's perspective and OH BOY she keeps making casual discrimatory remarks, pausing to ask herself if theyre discriminatory, and then concluding that they aren't. Oof.

-"And the consorts? Who had even given them the right to vote in the first place?" OOF.

-Confirms that the trolls are not immortal (by Jane basically saying she could wait for Karkat to die off)

-"the problematic nature of troll reproduction. The first generation of natural-born trolls obviously cannot be entrusted to a troll." excuse me what the fuck

11. The kids can talk to each other within the juju and hear whats happening outside.

-I think John has blackrom feels for Terezi?? And also voices he might actually be depressed

12. Okay this was actually p good its all dave and kk being rly gay but still acting surprised when massively horny jade calls them out. Also poly Jade heck yeah

13. VASKA. Immediately after unloading the Juju she gets hit with some debris and starts being pulled towards the black hole, at which point john &co escape the juju

14. Jane full on tries to seduce Jake for his support and its creeping me out

-?? It starts to describe a full on fuckin sex scene but before they do more than smooch and grope Jake starts fantasising about Dirk and excuses himself

15. Rose and Jade die, i think Meenah and Vriska too? And ghost Tavros. Davepeta shows up

-Johm gets vored??? Well almost, he ends up with englishes gold tooth in his ribs

-Dave stabs le then dies horribly (all of the death is p graphic)

-Davepeta dies, dragging le into the black hole with them

16. Rose muses that the 12 characters in Complacency of the Learned represent the 12 players that entered the new universe

-The condition rose and dirk have doesnt affect all god tiers, its linked to aspect

-Actually Rose and Dirk have some pretty interesting introspection here

-DIRK IS THE NARRATOR.

17. -The text is orange and Dirk addresses the reader direct- what the fuck

-He basically tears into the reader for voyuerism and speaks with the nost intense god complex ever seen in him

18. The furthest ring is destroyed

-Dirk as the narrator talks directly to John but like. Is mostly still just the narrator. It's weird.

-John finds his dads wallet

19. Dirk can read everyone except Roxy. Presumably because Void.

-Calli and rox are nonbinary and use neutral pronouns! Calli also talks about cherubs not really having gender

20. Oh John's Jade didnt die i guess. Earth C Jade passed out and this Jade got flashes of her memories

21. KANAYA. Also it legit didn't occur to me that they needed to raise the mother grub for years before it could perform troll reproduction. Durrr.

22. John finds Meenah and she steals the ring of life from him (he took it from aranea)

23. Uhhh. Dirk is basically fucking with Kanaya and trying to keep her from Rose?

24. John finds Terezi! But it cuts away again before literally anything happens

25. Dirk blocks Kanayas number in roses phone. Jesus fucking Christ

-oh sweet fuck hes talking about Kierkegaard

-Theres this really weird vibe of him talking about how smart he is and Rose calling him out in how hes just a dude whos read too much Wikipedia and i cant. Tell how ironic hes being

-He keeps talking about how hes in control of the narrative down to allowing her to react and its real fuckin creepy

-Huh...i guess hes showing Rose what happens in Candy. He doesnt describe it but talks about spoiling

-He...talks Rose into ascending to true godhood, i guess. To the point where her body would be dead if he wasnt doing something to keep it together

...yeah so far Dirk is a dick

[princessggowon]

Commentary on ep.10

-They brought back my boy!

-This stage for Going Crzy is by far their best!

-His parents are here :’))))

-THEY ALL LOOKIN LIKE SNACCS OKAYYYYY

-I literally cant understand anything bc no subs :((

-I think Bang Yedam just ranked #1 for vocal team???

-Okay but wait Junkyu is now number 1 wtf

-whats going on lol

-okay hes explaining how theyre divided into three teams: vocal, rap, and dance

-I think they finna fight for the rap position oh shiii

-My baby Byounggon looks so nervous in the flashback edits :(((

-Mashiho is choosing his team now??

-He chose to go in the vocal team

-So they get to choose what group they want to be in okay

-OKAY ITS BYOUNGGONS TURN

-he of course chose rap lol

-Jeongwoo chose dance???? I think?????

-Yoonbin chose rap ofc

-Bang Yedams turn anddddd he choseeee vocal jk that means jeongwoo is vocal too

-NOBODY WANTS TO BE ON YEDAMS TEAM. HOW ICONIC

-O snap Doyoung went to dance

-Rap team is scared of Haruto oop

-Hyunsuk. Dance or rap???

-Lol rap of course

-Damn near nobody is in vocal team bc of Yedam lmaoooo

-Okay Junkyu is brave ofc

-SEUNGHUN DIDNT GO TO VOCAL BC OF YEDMAM OH MY

-Okay so vocal: Yedamn, Junkyu, and Jeongwoo; rap: Choi hyunsuk, haruto, byounggon, yoonbin; performance: Seunghun, 

-Okay rap is practicing and getting evaluated and Hyunsuk got complimented (i think)

-OKAY SO THEY JUST GONNNA START THE PERFOMANCE LIKE THAT OKAYYY

-BYOUNGGON REALLY JUST KILLIN IT

-OH SNAP HARUTO COMING THRU THO

-OH HOLD UP THAT TRANSITION

-YOONBINS ENGLISH :’)

-THIS STARGE LIT OF COURSE

-OKAY GON!!

-HYUNSUK GOING INNN

-They jumpin around now gettin hype

-Did yoonbin do the fortnite dance or am i trippin??

-OMGGGGGG THE PREVIOUS TRAINEES ARE HERE. MY HEART!!

-PRESS ONE FOR BYOUNGGON!!

-I CANT BELIEVE THEYRE JUST VOTING NOW. LIKE THEY DONT CARE???

-im nervous :c

-my heart omg

-okay but yoonbins sideway smile is everything

-the girl calling haruto is a mood

-okay so theyre seeing who came first and that spot is guranteed

-Choi hyunsuk is first rn

-His mom is crying :(((

-HARUTO IS SECOND NOW OH MYYY

-his family is here and THEYRE ALL CRYING NOOO im gonna cry

-WAIT DID BYOUNGGON NOT MAKE IT????????

-HUHHHHH??????

-WAIT?????????????????????

-EVERYONE IS SAD RN????????????????????????

-im shaking rn im upset

-they all sound so sad

-BITCH IM SAD WHATS GOING ON

-dance is up next and I dont wanna watch the rest of this anymore

-but hopefully there is gonna be a twist that involves byounggon

-mashiho did a flip again

-oop so did junkyu

-dance team is tryna do this flying trick and its pretty cool tbh

-okay but i cant even concentrate. is byounggon coming back or????

-okay dance team is starting you already know whats going on (Earned it!)

-oof 

-ICONIC SEUNGHUN

-OOF FUCK THIS SONG GO HARD

-they did the flying trick perfectly :)

-OH SNAP WAIT A MIN, THEY BREAK DOWN IS EVERYTHING

-How could you choose just one??? they were all so good and worked as a team. Like its dance????

-Jaes little thing with the numbers were the cutest

-okay mr. potato man is saying his comments and the audience is shook and the trainees are saying thank you (compliment ig)

-OKAY FIRST PLACE IS MASHIHO (we been knew sis)

-HES EMOTIONAL SO IM EMOTIONAL

-SECOND PLACE GOES TO......

-okay so wait??? they only picked one for dance???

-thats weird, arent they supposed to pick 3

-okay i have hope for byounggon

-okay vocal team is up next! What we’ve all been dreading. 

-THERES TOO MANY GOOD VOCALIST OH MY

-Jeongwoo is making faces. I think hes having an existential crisis because of his competition lmaoo

-you got this bby

-okay but why is yedam so humble. he should know his spot is guranteed.

-okay jeongwoo is not fuking with none of these songs. they’re all english lmao

-jeongwoo literally looks SO NERVOUS :(

-vocal teacher is shook at jeongwoo

-okay but in a negative way ??? (i think)

-jk its a complinent now??? and now hes on the verge of tears

-i think that was his first compliment awww :)))

-THE VOCAL STAGE IS STARTINGGG

-im not ready

-okay yedam starting off strong and yg already smiling lmao 

-his parents are teary aw

-Junkyu!!!!!!

-Jeongwoos mom is literally so pretty wtf?

-Jeongwoo coming thru with that high note

-Junkyu throat is literally scratchy (i already know potato head is gonna say something)

-OOF YEDAM THEM VOCALSSS

-OKAY THEY MAGULATED ! A SISTER FINNA CRY

-OKAY IM CRYIING

-THEYRE CRYING

-THE AUDIENCE IS CRYING

- I think Junkyu is sad or sum shit

-Crowd is chanting ‘DONT CRy!’

-Junkyu is so handsome my heart ouch

-okay theyre voting now

-first place is.......JUNKYU 

-YESSSSS OMG IM SHAKINGGGG

-HES GOING TO CRY SO IM GOING TO CRY

-okay so what about second place

-SO IS IT DONE WTF

-THEY ARE LITERALLY ALL CRYIING BACKSTAGE BECAAUSE DAMN NEAR EVERYBODY LOST

-the previous trainees are giving good luck messages nooooooo :(((((

-i havent seen some of these faces in forever

-okay but wait if that was the final lineup. they a damn lie

-cus wheres yedam

-OKAY THEY LINED UP ON PEDASTALS IN THESE GREEN OUTFITS LOOKING LIKE A SNACCCC

-okay so i guess this is either elimai=tion or whoever makes it

-OKAY THEYRE DOING RAP POSITION NOWWWW

-MY BBY IS SPEAKING

-everyone is literally so sad

-WTF YOONBINS VOICE IS SO DEEP???? DEEPER THAN BYOUNGGON

-okay theyre doing the debut memebrssssss

-OKAY BYOUNGGON LOOKS SO SAD

-ITSSSSSS.......

-MY HEART

-ITSSSSS HARUTO

-CONGRATS

-I guess he kept his place???

-or maybe he didnt make it???? cus no one is happy wtf is going onnn

-i dont think he made it actually guys yikes

-My prediction that there is going to be 9 members

-haruto is eliminated :(

-he did good tho

-okay theyre doing vocal now

-IM THE MOST NERVOUS FOR THIS ONE

-theres only 3 of them and theyre all amazing vocalist

-ok so i guess junkyu has to keep his place by votes or sum sht

-girl its too early to be this sad

-yedam looks sad

-ITSSSSSSSSSS....YEDAM

-okay so that means haruto debuted because it dont make sense for bang yedam not too lmaoo

-this is a rollercoaster of me trying to figure out whats happening

-his mom is BAWLING

-okay yedams smile is EVERYTHING

-HIS MOM IS REALLY JUST CRYING

-GIRL ME TOO TF

-okay the way the edit this makes it seem like they ppl they chose got eliminated why are they doing that

-okay so far they have 2 confirmed members: yedam and haruto

-dance is next!

-doyoung and seunghun better make it or im suing yg

-okay but wait i forgot about mashiho

-okay let those 3 debut :((

-SHUT UP POTATO HEAD

-okay results are nowww

-ITSSSSSS....

-EVERYONE IS SURPISED WHATS GOING ON

-okay i see some upset ppl about the current debut lineup

-wait why is there a list of 10???

- are they debuting 10

-i think this is the online ranking

-junkyu made it first

-byounggon looks so nervous oh my

-fourth place is hyunsuk

-WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

-i dont think hyunsuk is debuting omg

-THERE BETTER BE A TWIST

-okay debut member is next??? I THINK

-NEXT DEBUT MEMBER IS... STILL JUNKYU

-wait yg chose this lineup???

-he aint said shit damn near this whole ep

-OH THERES A PLOT TWIST AND NOW HYUNSUK IS SMILING

-okay wait i think he just complimented him 

-so theres 4 confirmed members rn and theyre all saying bye now

-LIKE HUHHH

-OH THEYRE DOING A LIVE REACTING CAM

-ITS THEIR PARENTS OMGGGGGGGG

-okay again jeongwoos mom is gorgeous

-jeongwoo is crying bc of the video mssg

-harutos fam is giving a message and his mom is crying

-yoonbin is crying :((((

-SO IS MY BBY BYOUNGGON, they cut it short again im not finna play

-theyre showing cute pics now

-okay but yedam is literally so cute

-okay but why did i just get the mssg that yg treasure box is on

-WAIT IS IT OVER????????

-HELLO?????

-THE SCREEN WENT BLAC????

-YOOOO THIS LINE UP??/???

-HUH??//

-FINAL LINEUP: yedam, junkyu, haruto and jungwhan (ig??))) 

-AM I STUPID OR IS THERE GONNA BE ANOTHER EPISODE??? 

[vampire-core]

okay for the hcs thing: the dragonets of destiny, ruby and nan, all of the ib squad, and uhhhthe pmmm cast if u want?? :3c

NICE ty babe!!!!!!!!

send me a character and i’ll answer!

(note: im kin w glory, mary, madoka, sayaka, and mami so this might be a lot of kin-based shIT SDFHSDKLF)

CLAY

A: what I think realistically

he is Boft (buff and soft) and also Lorg and if u are his friend and cold just tell him and he will drape his fuckin wing around u and curl up with you. he has at least 3 dragons cuddling with him when he sleeps

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

hes super bad at predicting jokes so he’ll fuckin CRACK UP at the worst fuckin joke u tell. he’ll also eat ANYTHING on a dare. even dirt or a handful of pebbles, thanks GLORY

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

hes actually got mental health shit goin on (depression/anxiety/prob ptsd/prob a pd) but he thinks he Has to be strong for the other dragonets bc theyre all fucked right up and he needs to be the strong support so he feels like he really Cant let himself break down at all, and it causes a Lot of pent-up sadness/anxiety/etc which he has No way of getting out

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

clay is aro/ace and in a qpp with all the dragonets. let him be not het?

TSUNAMI

A: what I think realistically

tsunami is fuckening BUFF as HELL. like. she can kick ur ass ur friends ass ur moms ass her OWN ass she doesnt care shes SUPER buff she will kick everyone in the THROAT she is FIERCE and PROTECTIVE and STRONG

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

when darkstalker first busted out of the mountain (like a nut) she straight-up decked him in the snout. just fucken. P U N C H

it hurt her claws and she almost cried but tried to play it off as “im crying out of my own coolness”

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

shes always felt like glory hates her bc of how snarky and rude they are and like?? they logically know they dont but like. what if and she cant just ask them bc thatd be rude and glory would probably make a joke out of it, so shes stuck believing one of her supposed best friends secretly hates her and she doesnt know how to deal

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHES BI AS HELL let tsunami be bi and trans and have a gf…….

GLORY

A: what I think realistically

theyre used to not eating a lot and kinda always being hungry bc yknow no sunlight in the caves but they assumed it was like? normal? and being in the sun was like……. holy shit im finally Full…….. and they dont actually eat a lot but when they do its usually fruits bc they dont actually like meat all that much

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

they can do spot-on impressions of SO many dragons, including but not limited to: the guardians, the other dragonets, fatespeaker, queen coral, riptide, morrowseer, and probably more and they love being able to say “im a pretty princess” while sounding almost exactly like kestrel

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

theyre rlly rlly good at hiding bc they HAD to be when the guardians got Pissed, so now when anyone is Vaguely mad at them they manage to find a way to hide and its near-impossible to find them, which has pppprob scared the other dragonets mny times

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

glory is genderfluid and gay and whom the Fuck is deathbringer?

STARFLIGHT

A: what I think realistically

he has some p bad anxiety so his Counting/Observing Things thing is a comfort mechanism of sorts that hes always really done. in the caves all he had to observe was rocks, torches, and scrolls but once he got Out he had so much that it was overwhelming. hes rlly good at describing things in writing due to this

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

hes always been SUPER clumsy so now that hes blind hes kind of just. tripping on everything. he fell off the side of a cave once at the academy and screamed and waited for death until he remembered that he is a dragon who can fly

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

abt the observing thing: now that hes blind, he cant do that, and it was his main comfort mechanism. so now during anxiety attacks, he has a rlly hard time calming down bc he cant just start observing whats around him, it doesnt WORK like that

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

HES ARO AND GAY AND IN A QPP WITH FATESPEAKER AND ALSO THE DRAGONETS FUCK YOU

SUNNY

A: what I think realistically

she has adhd!!! she has adhd-ph so shes always fidgeting/bouncing around/flying to try and get her energy out. clay, tsunami, and glory also have adhd and try to help her out whenever they can!! she loves to bake, but it takes a LOT of waiting, so its kinda hard on her

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she can be REALLY FUCKING LOUD when she wants to be, which NOBODY expects. normally she uses it for singing, or to startle people. she likes to be Loud while imitating kestrel, marching around and looking all Serious

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

shes always felt Really ignored and, esp for someone who pprob has dpd traits, its rlly heartbreaking bc like. she doesnt feel wanted and she doesnt feel like she gets any attention and shes just!!!!!!! aaaagh

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes aroace and in a qpp w fatespeaker heck you

RUBY

A: what I think realistically

she was prob legally blind but not Fully blind before the glen, but she was admitted bc her sight was getting progressively worse and she couldnt continue to be an electrician, her job

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

“hey tom remember that time i fucken stabbed u” “lol remember that time u pushed stitches off a balcony, killing him instantly”

“tom if u dont shut up this second about furries i will stab u again” “…….nya” “im gettin my fucken knife tom”

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she lives w a lot of guilt over killing tom and regularly has nightmares abt it, and even tho he assures her everything is fine she still regrets it so much but doesnt know how to make it Right in her mind

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHES BI AND AGENDER AND HER TOM AND JAY ARE POLY

NAN

A: what I think realistically

shes always been Super chubby, and she generates a llot of heat both bc Fur and bc Chub, so when her friends get Cold all u have to do is snuggle up next to her and ur instantly rlly warm now

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

kim teaches her how to dab and calls it a symbol of respect, and so whenever nan meets someone she rlly respects she just dabs as kim cracks up

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she keeps a journal bc her memory is Shit but shes still constantly worried that shes writing it wrong, esp bc shes usually dissociating enough that she cant remember what happened, and sometimes its bad enough to warrent a breakdown/panic attack

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

look shes aro/pan/genderfluid i dont make the rules. also shes autistic

IB

A: what I think realistically

they know a little bit of asl bc theyre mute, and they carry around a notebook to write in when they cant sign. bc of this, they have rlly good handwriting and are also p good at miming stuff when they need to

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

they accidentally learned how to swear in asl, so whenever garry sees them doing so and doesnt know what it means (and then asks) he almost starts crying when they calmly show him the word “fuck” written in their notebook

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

they have rlly bad nightmares and is ppprob misdiagnosed due to ppl thinking the gallery Wasnt Real, doesnt get proper help, and lives w guilt over what happened and has NO clue how to cope

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

look. theyre nb and pan. im not saying this is a hc im saying this is canon. theyre not cishet

GARRY

A: what I think realistically

hes pprob around?? late 20s-early 30s, so its kiiiinda awkward maintaining contact w ib at first, but then he becomes a Family Friend and babysits so its all chill

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

hes PETRIFIED of spiders and the one time he tried to be brave and take one outside for ib he screamed, dropped it, and nearly cried.

ib is capable of disposing of spiders in the way garry prefers (domnt kill them) and does so calmly as garry sits on the counter and screams

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

he feels rlly guilty after the gallery and has NO idea how to cope, so he ends up drinking a bbbbit too much and hes also not rlly able to help ib, which makes him MORE guilty, and its kinda just a spiral of depression

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

hes trans and also adopts ib and mary and theyre a happy family

MARY

A: what I think realistically

she has NO CLUE what most things taste like, but someone let her try a cherry cough drop once, and now she just rlly wants to eat that fake cherry flavor again

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she knows how to say various swear words and looked garry in the eyes and said “FUCK!!!” once and he nearly started sobbing on the spot

also she doesnt know much abt numbers and thinks that since shes 9 and garrys 20-30 and 2-3 are less than 9, shes older than him and In Charge

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she died in pain and thinking her only friend hated her, feeling deeply betrayed :’)

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

GARRY ADOPTS HER AND IB AND THEYRE A FAMILY also shes a lesbian

MADOKA

A: what I think realistically

shes rlly good at drawin!!!! she doodles a lot in class to help her focus, plus she just rlly likes to draw, so she ends up bein rlly talented!!! she esp likes to draw her friends bc like. why not???

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

everyone expects her to be terrified of bugs and sayaka to be the brave one killing them when in reality its sayaka sprinting away as madoka calmly takes it outside and goes “dont worry its okay!!!!! :D”

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she feels rlly inferior to everyone and, along with being shy, thinks shes honestly useless to a team. its not that she hates herself, its that she thinks shes rlly boring and doesnt have much going for her, and she has no clue how to help or communicate this

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

she and sayaka are DATING theyre GFS also madoka has dpd

SAYAKA

A: what I think realistically

shes mega bi. shes bi. she is just. bi. her first crush was wonder woman and she prob liked hitomi at one point. shes the one friend who gets crushes on EVERYONE, and i mean everyone

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

when she gets bored, she makes up random stories in her head and narrates whats going on in the lives of passerby, and now she has a huge elaborate universe thats like a soap opera in her head. she has a theme song and everything

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she has bpd but no clue what that IS or how to COPE, so being a magical girl was ppprob a rlly bad idea due to the lows bpd comes with, esp since she based her wish on a person/fp. so she was?? p much destined to fall into despair, even if it wasnt over kyousuke

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

SHES!!!!!!! DATING!!!!!!!! MADOKA!!!!!!!

MAMI

A: what I think realistically

shes a rlly organized person so mess just Ticks her Off, and she spends most of her time just making sure everything is clean. its kinda a comfort mechanism at this point??? like it just makes her feel better

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

shes constantly trying 2 pick up on the current slang and be Cool w the Kiddos these days but shes always at least 3 steps behind

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she has dpd but since she lost her parents and kyoko abandoned her, shes had nobody to depend on, which kinda sucks? bc like. shes constantly second-guessing herself and has no clue what shes doing and feels so alone

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes trans gay and dating kyoko

KYOKO

A: what I think realistically

shes SUPER good at sneaking around/stealing things and lvoes to startle/prank her friends w this bc like??? oh shit sayaka is ur phone missing who couldve took it, oh look madoka got a text from u wonder who sent it

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

she once ate an entire bowl of sugar on a dare from sayaka and got the WORST stomach ache for a day and half, but claimed it was worth it

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

shes always been rlly underweight and manages to steal food Sometimes, but has probably been caught and hurt for doing so

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

A LESBIAN DATING MAMI

HOMURA

A: what I think realistically

shes RLLY talented in a lot of areas due to the many timelines, but shes never rlly grasped the arts?? ie drawing, writing etc, and she has NO clue how madoka does it, what the hell

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

its RLLY hard to make her laugh but she can and WILL crack up if you look her in the eyes and say “egg”

on a similar, note, she once said “i want kyoko to vore me real good” completely straight-faced, deadpan

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

she has a LOT of trauma she could never rlly talk abt w anyone, esp a therapist, due to the timelines so shes rlly not coping at all in the slightest

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

shes GAY and prob dating hitomi

[77live]

i got ttagged by @homosexualhufflepuff thänks u

1. LAST TEXT SENT: "yeah” to my mom 2. LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: black white and uhhhh like crimson maybe? 3. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: at about noon 4.WHAT WERE YOU DOING LAST NIGHT AT MIDNIGHT: probably sleeping lmao 5. NAME SOMETHING YOU CANT WAIT FOR: summer, its may but its like still snowing sometimes  6. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOTHER: last night before she went to bed 7. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU CHANGE ABOUT YOUR LIFE: i wish i wasnt so fucking anxious in social situations 8. WHATS GETTING ON YOUR NERVS RN: i dont think ive eaten since yesterday morning so im feeling a bit shitty because of that 9. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: uhhhhhh i dont even know lmao 10. FAVORITE TV SHOW: twin peaks definitely but i dont really have the energy for tv shows 11. FIRST BEST FRIEND: this one guy who i bonded with over zelda when we were like 11, i miss him 12. LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: slowdive - souvlaki 13. 3 FEARS: deep water, social situations, situations in general lmao 14. 4 TURN ON’S: a music taste that matches mine, c o l l a r b o n e s, glasses, being artistic 15. 4 TURN OFF’S: closed mindedness, being an asshole in general? idk 16. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: sex or gender doesnt really matter a whole lot to me 17. MY SENIOR QUOTE IN MY YEARBOOK: this is like an american thing and im not american 18. FIRST THING I NOTICE IN A NEW PERSON: uuuuuuuhhhhhhh no idea sorry 19. SHOE SIZE: 42 20. EYE COLOR: no idea like dark greyish maybe 21. HAIR COLOR: dirty blond/brown 22. FAVORITE CLOTHING ITEM: no idea  23. WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR I’M WEARING RIGHT NOW: black 24. ULTIMATE BIAS: idk what this means  25. ULTIMATE BIAS GROUP: or this im sorry aaaaaa 26. FAVORITE SEASON:��summer 27. HOW MUCH TIME I SPENT ON DESIGNING MY BLOG PAGE: no fucking clue i dont even know what it looks like tbh 28. THE REASON I JOINED TUMBLR: i dont remember at all 29. LAST BOOK I READ: peter hooks memoir about joy division  30. DO I EVER GET “GOOD MORNING” OR “GOODNIGHT” TEXTS?: yeah kind of 31. WHEN DID I LAST HOLD HANDS?: yesterday morning i think :))) 32. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE ME TO GET READY IN THE MORNING?: 20 or so minutes, i want to sleep for as long as possible so ive gotten pretty good at getting ready fast 33. HAVE I SHAVED MY LEGS IN THE PAST 3 DAYS?: no but maybe i should, they look pretty bad 34. WHERE AM I RIGHT NOW?: my bed  35. DO I LIKE MUSIC LOUD OR LOW: idk relatively low i think 36. 3 THINGS I LOVE: art, sleeping, my friends 37. HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW: hungry and im a bit shaky  38. SOMETHING I REALLY, REALLY WANT: just happiness i guess whatever thats gonna take 39. 3 THINGS THAT UPSET ME: the state the world is in, idk what else im really bad at this sorry 40. WHAT I FIND ATTRACTIVE IN OTHER PEOPLE: i already answered this in the question about turn ons pretty much but collarbones and hands are hot 41. 3 HABITS I HAVE: checking my phone way too often, procrastinating a lot, being way too shy 42. SOMETHING I FANTASIZE ABOUT: like the future and stuff? life in general 43. MY OTPs: never been into that stuff so none 44. SOMETHING IM TALENTED AT: lmao i have no fucking clue 45. THE BLOG I GIVE MOST NOTES TO: idk 46. THE LAST PERSON THAT RE-BLOGGED FROM ME: idk 47. DO I SMOKE/DRINK?: very occasionally 48. MY FAVORITE FOOD: idk i really like eating but i dont really have a favorite food 49. MY FAVORITE DESSERT: same here i really like desserts but i dont have a favorite 50. WHAT I DID YESTERDAY: nothing too special 51. NUMBER OF KIDS I WANT: idk i would have to learn to take care of myself first lmao 52. NUMBER OF SIBLINGS I HAVE: just one 53. SOMETHING THATS CONSTANTLY ON MY MIND: school and other things that are stressing me out 54. LAST PERSON I MESSAGED ON TUMBLR: @homosexualhufflepuff 55. CAN I DRIVE: no cars are scary 56. WHAT STATE OR PART OF THE WORLD DO I LIVE IN: sweden but im finnish  57. AM I IN SCHOOL?: yeAH 58. DO I GET GROSSED OUT EASILY?: yeah i think so 59. SOMEWHERE I WOULD LIKE TO VISIT FOR A WEEK: maybe like japan or some country in europe 60. I’LL LOVE YOU IF…: if u listen to the same music as me 61. LAST SHOW I BINGE-WATCHED: stranger things probably 62. WHAT WORDS UPSET ME THE MOST: i dont really get annoyed by specific words but i dont like when people use really big words for no reason other than trying to seem like theyre better than everyone else 63. WHAT WORDS MAKE ME FEEL THE BEST ABOUT MYSELF: jsut compliments in general 64. A WISH THAT I’VE WISHED FOR REPEATEDLY ON 11:11: dont think ive done that more than like once and i dont remember what i wished for 65. WHO I WOULD SWITCH LIVES WITH FOR A DAY: i dont think i would want to do that 66. MY FAVORITE ICE CREAM: maybe mint or lemon flavor?? idk i like most ice creams 67. ALLERGIES: cats and pollen 68. SEXIEST PERSON TO COME TO YOUR MIND IMMEDIATELY: david bowie lol 69. MY CHILDHOOD CAREER CHOICE: i dont remember  70. ONE OF MY INSECURITIES: lol theres way too many to pick just one 71. HOW MANY BLOGS AM I FOLLOWING: 69 lmao 72. HOW MANY TABS/DIFFERENT WINDOWS ATM: just 4 rn 73. COKE OR PEPSI: i rarely drink soda so i dont even remember what pepsi tastes like so maybe pepsi to see what its like 74. TEA OR COFFEE: coffee, baby 75. MOVIE OR BOOK: if this is between a book and its movie adaptation then the book any day of the week, otherwise it really depends  76. A SENSE I WOULD BE WILLING TO LOSE: none of them?? i feel like this question was worded a bit poorly 77. QUOTE I LIVE BY: idk im just winging it 78. TYPE OF ACCESSORIES I WEAR THE MOST: i dont really wear any accessories ever 79. LAST AWKWARD SITUATION I FOUND MYSELF IN: uhhhh it wasnt that awkward but a couple days ago i just didnt really know waht to do or say bc i was meeting a lot of new people and im very bad at that kind of stuff 80. WHAT TIME IS IT RIGHT NOW: 1 pm 81. A SONG THAT’S MADE ME CRY: theres so many but the last song that made me cry would b 4th of july by sufjan stevens 82: FIRST SONG I EVER SANG AT KARAOKE: idk sorry 

this was honestly a bit of a chore so im not gonna tag anyone but if u see this and think it looks fun do it!!!!!

[johnnythirteenguns]

logan, not spoiler free thoughts (it got long):

anyways i saw logan yesterday and im still sensitive from it and i wouldnt know where to begin having a conversation about it with people who want to see it

as a film it’s pretty good. i didnt feel too much time was wasted, if any really, it’s tropey though. so like once it gets going it is point a to b to c to d with no variation and you spot the chekov’s guns right away and you can figure out how it’s going to end half way in. which im fine with as long a movie doesnt patronize me, and i didnt feel logan did. it was just formulaic. but it was good and watchable. there is a lot to be said for exploiting a tried and true formula for story telling but fitting it to the aesthetic of the characters therein.

also although i dont talk to movies i have realized that i am increasingly more involved with reacting to them and i dont know if this means i am more empathetic with the characters on screen because i am becoming more empathetic or if im more emotional and have nowhere to direct that emotion in my real life so i put it all into relating with the characters on a given screen and so when stuff happens to them i just really React.

that being said like im really. tired. of white characters being allowed to use brown bodies as stepping stones and footstools. there are a lot of dead brown people in this film. the main characters are all white. although dafne did an admirable job as laura, if i had the chance id recast her immediately. i wouldnt have cast her at all to be honest. i hope that when an older or adult laura shows up that they cast an actual mexican actress (not a white one). in logan they imply that the babies are clones, but there’s also implication that it was actually just in-vitro using the stolen dna the way you would use donated sperm? unless i watch it again i wont know because the language seemed unsure of itself.

but yeah. i dont. know. it’s literally too much at this point like we’re just constantly thrown under the bus so to save, create, or help white characters. for example, you know the horse family is gonna die, you know it because it’s a Trope. but it’s a black family, and they die gruesomely, which okay, everyone that dies in logan dies gruesomely and violently. but theyre the only black characters with speaking parts, and there is a dearth of them elsewhere in the fox marvel universe. rictor, one of the escaped 23s, is mexican in the comics, apparently so in the movie, and i can safely assume his actor is latinx as well (but he’s a baby and so doesnt have a ton of stuff on his imdb). he’s also the only one of the kids who is shot when they’re being chased through the woods.

i honestly dont know if i would have preferred they keep it on screen or leave it off screen. clearly brown children are afterthoughts anyway? to be used as plot devices and target dummies as needed. i dont know. i do know that i was waiting for it and i thought he was going to die. they do have a line of dialogue immediately after rictor is shot to reassure you that he isnt going to die, which is something i guess.

at any rate i really cant with child death or child abuse in media lately. i dont know how i feel about laura’s self-harm scene. not good but self-harm in media in general needs to be looked at in a case by case basis i dont know about this one.

which btw wow the actress that plays gabriela is straight up from the bronx born and raised in new york and i knew she couldnt be a primarily spanish speaker that accent grated on my ears so badly  i would have preferred they find a way to have her speak spanish and english at some point to illustrate their point because whenever she spoke that accent made me desperately wish she would shut the fuck up or get to the end off her sentence if i could somehow physically share how fucking tired i am of fake mexican accents like youd faint for ten seconds from the force of my anger.

like of all the things to be that angry about but it’s honestly just One More Thing at the point and im so tired.

im really over the disposability of brown bodies and i wish it would stop.

all that being said ive been listening to this podcast and my love for the x-men and x-men adjacent characters has grown immensely over the last year and going in i was emotional about film history, about the x-men cinematic history (honestly hugh jackman has brought his a-game every time when playing logan and i thank him, even when the films themselves were lackluster), i was emotional about x-men comics history, like. i really loved how they all chose to portray the characters and the relationships between them and it was really hitting a lot of perfect notes like.

it turns into a really rough father daughter story really quickly and it got to me because of my own father, because of my possible future, it was a lot of deeply personal levels being affected. um, there’s a lot of symbolic stand-in stuff, like the canadian border, brown children crossing it alone (all their caregivers are implied to be dead to the point that they pretty much are dead due to their absence, so more dead disappeared mexican women, along with the dead teenage girls we’re told about much earlier).

i think i may have just gotten too sucked into it and too emotionally invested and am maybe looking at it through too much of a like film student lens because i was studying it for form and execution obviously and i dont feel like tropey is bad, and i say this because there were moments where most of the audience was laughing but they werent particularly funny? like haha funny moments they were a little more light-hearted (and i mean a Little, not much, to me they illuminate how very tired and hopeless logan is in comparison with other characters and the rest of the world) but because the rest of logan is couched so firmly in the same sort of world weary americana (despite none of the main characters being american, which is neither here nor there) that a film like hell or high water is that i didnt find them Funny. theyre still painful moments meant to illustrate a turning point in the characters’ relationship.

i do say this as someone who at this point just completely started crying for the rest of the movie. i was holding it back since close to the beginning because i Do like these kinds of films and stories and so im already primed to get really invested and then it just kept hitting me and. even gabriela running away with laura and how desperate but fierce they as the characters being in that situation really got me.

also there is no stinger scene so dont wait unless you want to listen to the man comes around which i love so i was fine with waiting anyway. also you see a special thanks given to all the comics creators that had a major hand in shaping laura kinney which got me and marjorie liu is listed.

[losangelesvalorant]

final thoughts on today’s games. under a cut bc long and ramble-y

im excited to see what paris can do once they’re more coordinated and have hanbin in the lineup, the sym strat was legit p smart even if it only worked in control, and i have faith in rush and ninek to coach well. definitely were communication issues tho and i cant wait for benbest to be benched. toronto def showed good ingame leadership and made quick adaptations, and i hope logix keeps popping off all season. beast was pretty solid too, tho ill admit i didnt watch the tank play much that series. london vs paris wont be close but paris will be a solid contender when they have 2 good tanks

v impressed with london, sanguinar and babel caught my eye specifically. glister was good which we knew, babel’s mei walls were sick and sanguinar did feed sometimes, but made a lot of very smart plays and wants to reddit lucio which i respect. they lost a lot of their nerve after kings row and played very slowly and fearfully and nyxl capitalized on that. i def see great things for london in the future and i am very proud of them. wish theyd kept highly in on the last few maps tho. nyxl was excellent as usual and god anamo and jjonak are unstoppable. them playing dive made me feel emotions again and i think whoru is gonna shine on this roster. benching libero is def an achievement, and from what whoru showed he’s still got the same insane pop-off potential hes always had. also hotba fucks. i feel like nyxl might have a hard time adapting to teams like glads and titans tho, they could easily get blindsided, but thats a common thread w them

glads/titans was SOOOO good, titans had some problems w ult economy in the beginning but quickly pulled it together and glads weren’t ever rly able to deal with the bap pick. i feel like theres not an ingame leader for glads, and that might be a problem later, but they played solidly throughout. they def have the potential to get much better. titans were excellent as always, jehong was great, titans played very smart mostly. i rly hope they dont explode cuz they played beautiful overwatch today. haksal running over to high five slime and jehong healed me and i. :’)

dallas/valiant took a decade off my life. there’s no coordination between the dallas frontline and backline and i never want to see note on a shield tank ever again. there was no ult control or target focus and i feel robbed of my time from watching that match. crimzo i can forgive since unkoe was sick and he probably wasnt scrimming but closer did absolutely nothing that game. decay was good tho. as for valiant, theyre not bottom 4 but theyre definitely a low tier team, i want to know who tried to sell me those scrimbucks so i can yell at them. ksp was good, gig plays too aggressive, no ult control, lastro and rain did pretty well tho. mcgravy was fine. if valiant doesnt get 3-0d and dallas doesnt get spawncamped tomorrow thats a loss for titans and shock

for power rankings I’d put titans in S tier, NYXL and glads in A tier, london, toronto, and paris in B tier, valiant in C tier, and dallas in “would lose to a trials team” tier

[rqs902]

.

more random thoughts as i finish season 2....

some of my favorite moments are when the kids are cheering each other on, its the cutest thing!!! 

he yifan and zuo qibo fanboy screaming over liu ye’s rap in ‘boy in luv’ and yu gengyin and cai xukun’s relay chanting “jin ming!” “jia you!’ and ofc “dai jing” “yao na ka!!!!!” hahahahhaha i love their friendship and i love silly gengyin!!! literally even when getting off the car this ep he was so silly and when he was about to go on stage and he was like aight kids i got this, i love seeing him being less stressed ahhhh

OOF THEY LABELED IT AGAIN 

awww HE WONNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH when it got announced, i literally clutched my chest and was like ‘my childdddddddddd’ aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh honestly i wasnt gonna be surprised if zuo qibo won this round but IM SO PROUD OF XIAO YU awwwwww he did so well!!!! he like worked really hard to give off a mischievous/ bad boy aura and i think it was such a refreshing and well-executed change for him that it left a strong impression c: whereas qibo is normally already very flower boy / nice guy so i dont think it was as impactful for him to continue playing a role he already embodies normally, altho he was very good-looking on this stage!! but gengyin really went out of his way to try to act cool and carry himself with that kind of aura of handsomeness / arrogance that he’s not really used to portraying and im super proud of him for pulling it off :’) continuously saying ‘我不夠壞’ hahhahhaa but similar to in the sakura stage where he was commended for his powerful stage presence, he’s continuing to build on his new improvements and im super happy he’s still riding on this high c: last ep ‘on rainy days’ i was thriving on hearing his voice smooth over those high notes and this ep’s song wasnt as lyrical, but he still managed to get some vocalizations in and im loving all this extra camera time and focus on his eye smiles. watching gengyin just smile and seeing his eyes crinkle up just makes me so happy inside c: oh! and then when he walks back into the waiting room and hes like “yaayy 努力沒有白費 yaaaaayy!!!!!” im just ooof my heart im so happy for him :’) 

also i gotta say, huadi’s attitude towards liuye is kinda scary? I know theyre all being competitive and thats the nature of this show but like liu ye kept telling him to back off basically (and not even for his own sake, but bc he knew huadi’s dancing intensity was negatively affecting jin ming and also the cohesiveness of their group overall) and huadi was still like ‘i need to show myself off so i can win’ and i felt like his attitude was off, like ‘obviously im the best, thanks’ which later became ‘i cant believe i lost, what did he do better’ whereas liu ye was also very confident but to me he came off as less intense and more calm. like ‘i know im the best, so you can go ahead and try to upstage me, but ill just do my best on my end and quietly watch you sabotage yourself’ at least thats how i perceived it .-. but idk yea i enjoyed watching liu ye more and it felt like huadi was trying too hard. but i am glad that huadi and muti resolved their issues last ep 

daidai’s stage presence during ‘overdose’ tho? he was really handsome!!! i dont normally react much to daidai’s performances but idk this time i really noticed him in contrast to jeffrey and yongju. i think he just seemed more confident than usual and all the little smiles helped. his hair flipping reminded me of muti and his sass LOL 

its really interesting to see cai xukun’s progression through this show and how everyone around him reacts as he goes through this growth process. i would say he wasnt given an absurdly greater amount of screentime but you can tell hes been building up credibility and holds a strong rank among the rest. i would say its not realllyy until the last few eps of season 2 that he pulls ahead of the rest by a significant amount. i was always thinking wu muti was a strong competitor to him but after seeing them and he yifan’s stage, it was pretty clear to me that cxk had successfully exceeded everyone else and ascended to his own level. watching the process through which he gradually builds his now-signature stage presence and now-signature voice is really fascinating and near the end of the season, he already can overshadow everyone else. it seems like huadi is very vocal about how handsome kun has become on stage, yifan doesnt hesitate to admit how good kun is, and gengyin has already admitted early on that they all should learn from kun. zuo qibo is also quick to commend kun but then it seems like muti avoids it? i can kinda guess he might be a bit jealous bc hes always been complimented and lauded on stage but then after he lost so significantly to cxk, im guessing that would be a blow to him. on the show, cxk and wmt both seem very very eager to promote themselves and are very willing to fight for opportunities that they each deem best for themselves. unlike some of the other kids who are more willing to work for the team as a whole more. not that the two of them are bad at teamwork, but i think they definitely arent afraid to demonstrate that they want to stand out and i think thats important in this industry and likely part of how cxk got so ahead. its just interesting to compare this cxk to the cxk on idol producer who knew at that point that he didnt need to fight to stand out because he already did, and he tried so hard to help the other kids around him. 

i feel like i should redo my current ranking list, but i guess with the kids who are on the show this time? (minus the s2 kids, bc lets face it, theyd be at the very bottom anyway) rn its mostly tiered like 1, then 2-7, then 8-10. i appreciate liu ye being a good teacher and leader and the way he yifan seems to be able to joke around with everyone and keep their spirits up. muti’s fireiness kinda scared me in the last few eps but i appreciate that he was mature enough to talk it out with huadi and admit he had been too stressed/riled up lately.

gengyin 

muti 

liu ye

cai xukun

he yifan 

zuo qibo

zhao pinlin (gosh im sad hes so injured) 

dai jingyao

huadi 

yongju

HAHAHAHHA THE PART WHERE ZFZ CHALLENGES THEM TO AN AB BATTLE AND YGY STEPS UP AND EVERYONES IN SHOCK BUT HE JUST RUNS DOWN THE LINE TO PUSH DAIDAI TO THE FRONT HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA i love a true silly boy 

its just so interesting bc the latter half of this season (after ygy gets nominated for elimination i guess) feels like they enjoy giving ygy camera time and attention and esp ep 8 onward hes gotten so much positive feedback ive just been amazed and so happy. and now at the end... you can tell hes really pushing himself bc hes seen that he can do well and that if he really goes above and beyond he really does have a good chance, and seeing his confidence go up with each stage that he performs well is really gratifying and im so proud of him, seeing how determined and driven he is. i just find it funny how confident he is about rap all of a sudden HAHHAHA i mean he did do very well rapping during the sakura stage and the judges did compliment him a lot for it so i cant blame him. 

omgosh the part where the teacher tells muti that he’s already lost to cxk bc cxk got picked during the first round and he hasnt yet....... oof if this is how they talk to him and they keep comparing him to cxk saying their styles are alike but cxk is better, i can see why he’d have some negative feelings towards the matter. the kid’s literally a child, i dont think this is the right way to motivate him....... liu ye patting his head to comfort a pouting muti aw 

because now its my duty to screenshot every time they label his smile !!! and this one even labels it as his “cute signature smile” ahhhHHHH THEY KNOW 

HAHAHHAHA SO I WAS TALKING TO MY SISTER and she sent us pics of her new boyfriend and i was like lol im still single BUT ive been watching a new show and i have a new bias HAHAHAH and i proceeded to show her pictures of yu gengyin i have saved on my phone HAHAHAHHA and she was like “he looks just like your type” HAHHAHAHAHAHA SHE KNOWSSS but yea i was like ‘LOOK HOW SMILEY HE IS!!!” and she was like “the dog is cuter” AHAHAHAHHAHA but its ok shes used to this. and it just reminded me of the time i showed her the ip PPAP perf with zhengting and she like straight up guessed zhengting was my fav in that perf and i was like LOL YES and she was like hE LOOKS LIKE YOUR TYPE hahahHHAHHAHahahhaAHAHAHAH my type is somewhere along the lines of zhengting and gengyin yes. 

huadi’s never-ending battle of fighting to be seen as more than a dancer... to be continued during afo :(

zuo qibo’s struggle of feeling the pressure of being an old man..... feels bad :(

aw he yifan is really so cute. hes def really improved and really doing well, but i feel like his stage presence could still be stronger. its nice to know that during afo he does really shine stage presence-wise and grows to become more mature, more respected, and a group leader as well. 

man its so nice to see daidai really thriving and confident and owning these stages because honestly i feel like on the shows ive seen him in since, including produce camp, hes given me the impression of someone whos lost his confidence and doesnt get to show his skills. i really hope he still has this super-idol version of himself in him because he really shines here, and i think it makes him seem even more handsome than just his appearance alone. oof its just hard bc this show really loves him and the judges really love him and hes so well-supported and encouraged and i think it makes a big difference in his confidence level. i feel like on other shows he hasnt been valued nearly as much and its really sad bc the kid just seems so much less confident. 

HAHAHAHA IM SORRY EVEN THO I KNEW IT WAS COMING BC OBVIOUSLY I KNOW THE FINAL LINEUP OF SWIN BUT OMG EVERYONE WAS SOOOOO SURPRISED HE YIFAN MADE IT OVER ZUO QIBO AND IM LAUGHING AHHAHAHHAHAHAH EVERYONE’S LOOK OF ASTONISHMENT IS TOO MUCH AHAHHAHAHA NO ONE HAD FAITH IN HE YIFAN ISTG HAHAHAHHAHA EVEN HE YIFAN HIMSELF IS LIKE WAT HAHAHHAAHHHAAH BUT THEN HIS ADORABLY BRIGHT SMILE IN CONTRAST WITH EVERYONE’S SHOCKED FACES IS ALSO HILARIOUS HAHAHHAHA this situation is just terrible but hilarious at the same time /sigh/ rip zuo qibo im sorry youre old but cant win :( honestly tho i can understand why they picked he yifan bc he does have more to offer the group than qibo :( considering they put daidai in and they already have yongju (and im assuming yu gengyin will be the last one) and even muti and liu ye sing (and i guess pinlin can also be considered a backup lol).... having another lead vocal isnt gonna to contribute much versus he yifan’s low tone rap. he yifan is really a cute little bean tho. oof the way he runs straight into cai xukun’s arms oof friendship

sigh so i guess its after this that yongju gets kicked out bc china (poor kid...) and then at some point daidai leaves and they randomly add in pinlin after he recovers? even tho he wasnt in like half of season 2? lol but i guess he was never eliminated.... so technically that puts him ahead of zuo qibo in terms of next-in-line to be a vocalist? but i guess honestly everyone knows that if pinlin hadnt left the show due to his injury, he wouldve been the main vocal of leo’s group, not zuo qibo. so i guess in a way as long as pinlin recovered in time, he would be considered the best vocalist to add to swin-s. and then they pull some eliminated kids to become swin-e..... going back to watch the “new world” mv is really a trip every single time. i feel like i watched it for the first time after watching ip and literally only recognized cai xukun, and every time after, i recognized a few more kids, after afo, after pdc, and after finishing super idol 1, i finally recognized all of them. but now, after watching season 2, it feels like i finally actually understand why they got picked and i truly appreciate all 6 of them. I think its really amazing to see yu gengyin go from being ranked #1 in the very first audition on the first season, to being so close to getting eliminated in season 2, to being the last one chosen to get a super card at the end of s2, to being a main vocal in “new world”, and truly truly owning that song. i mean besides cai xukun obviously upstaging everyone with his stage presence as usual, but i mean now when i listen to the song (not even watching the mv) and im really paying attention to who’s singing what part, whose voice really gets to shine and gets to dominate the song, its yu gengyin. maybe im biased or maybe its just expected since he is the main vocal, but i guess it just amuses me that i never noticed that before when i watched this mv without knowing him. now i know whose voice it is that is carrying their debut song and it makes it so special. from listening to later swin songs, i feel like zhao pinlin eventually gets himself a much larger cut of the main vocal position (to the point of surpassing gengyin even?), but i mean that is a whole other story, and i think it does flow into zhao pinlin becoming the ultimate main vocal once gengyin leaves. interestingly zuo qibo never does seem to redeem himself from being any more relevant of a vocal within the group, even tho he was def main vocal of leo’s group on s2 after zhao pinlin left... its like as soon as pinlin leaves he’s needed but when pinlin is there, he’s ignored :( gosh as soon as they announced all the winners and qibo wasnt included, his eyes just became so empty you could see his pain. 

but yes this ends my essay about the last few eps of super idol s2. LOLL i just started compiling my thoughts into larger rant posts bc i didnt want my whole dash to be littered with a bunch of small random posts, so i started collecting my thoughts on a draft as i watched and waited until it got unbearably long to post, such as now. but watching super idol 1 & 2 has been really an eye-opening experience. ive learned a lot about these kids and its truly made me appreciate the year long training they had in korea and the many many struggles and setbacks and unique experiences they had. honestly i feel like swin couldve easily been 8 people aka swin-s plus huadi and zuo qibo, because honestly theyre all very skilled and capable at this point, and huadi and zuo qibo are really on a different level from gouhao and zhu yunlong (sorry kids, i still appreciate yall tho!) since they werent on like a majority of season 2, but i guess it really doesnt matter in the very long run bc of what happened to swin anyway. such a sad sad history for them to bear, but i do hope they can all achieve some kind of success in the future, because theyve really suffered and worked so hard. ill look forward to watching old swin clips for the time being, as i wait not-so-patiently for afo2 

ps: random update, i did in fact make a gengyin gif into my phone lock screen HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH i gave in to the feels. but its the hair flip from that one ikon song he won his individual battle for, and its a historic and important moment okay HAHAHAH