#but i cant quit bc it's probably the best job i can get around here and its actually stable

[ashendalia]

I am this close 🤏 to bashing my head against a wall because of this job

[obrother1976]

can u make like. ur top 10 books. freak books. anything. kisses your brain

sure!! these r not gonna be ranked bc god knows i could never choose between them & also im gonna be annoying and ramble a bit about every one

death in venice by thomas mann (classic. but its so rich w metaphors and symbolism. if you do read it, i'd recommend reading "the uses of myth in death in venice" by isadore traschen afterwards, bc it does a great job explaining all the freudian allegories and mythological symbolism and u'll literally be tearing ur hair out afterwards over how brilliant thomas mann was)

the carnivorous lamb by agustín gómez-arcos (idc that i've already talked about this a gajillion times on here. its literally the best book i've ever read. i'll forever be obsessed and i wish there was literally anything that could ever hit as hard as this did. if u read it, anon (if u havent already) dont go through the carnivorous lamb tag on here bc u need to experience this without any big prior knowledge. trust me)

erotism: death and sensuality by george bataille (ik im just listing the classics atp. but how could i ever leave that one out. this ones a lot and depending on how into bataille & philosophy in general u are it could be too much. but if u havent already read this one anon, just read the introduction. trust me ure gonna loose it from that alone)

gemini by michel tournier (this one... took me ages to get through it on my first read bc of the way its written, but it was so worth it. not even gonna say much about this one - its basically like if twins by bari wood was good lmao)

incest: from a "journal of love": the unexpurgated diary of anais nin, 1932-1934 (or every anais nin diary ever in general, but this one especially. there was just no one that got it quite like she did)

indecent theology: theological perversions in sex, gender and politics by marcella althaus-reid (sorry for literally recommending theory. im pretty sure u were asking for fiction lol, but this (& althaus-reid in general) is everything to me. if u've any interest whatsoever in theology u should check this one out)

the sluts by dennis cooper (slightly controversial opinion i think? not that the book itself is controversial, just that dennis cooper is very hit and miss at times. this book tho, definite hit. its so intense and convoluted and i loved every second of it. read this before death and sensuality and u're guaranteed to think of nothing else for at least a month)

querelle of brest by jean genet ("those knock-out body fluids: blood, sperm, tears!". kind of a classic since theres also the fassbinder movie but i prefer the book tbh. its been a while since i've read it but it'll forever be in my favourites)

crash by j.g. ballard (yeah ik we've all seen crash but i need more ppl to read the book. hold on actually i need to insert one of my favourite bits from it here:

Reaching through the fractured windshields and passenger windows around me, I marked my semen on the oily instrument panels and binnacles, touching these wound areas at their most deformed points.)

ada, or ardor: a family chronicle by vladimir nabokov (one of the most beautiful books i've ever read. probably not the most helpful recommendation bc im pretty sure its a classic but i cant not mention it.)

also some bonus recommendations of books that didnt make the list bc they're either not freak books or bc i havent read them yet:

christopher and his kind by christopher isherwood (not a freak book. not even remotely. but will forever have a special place in my heart.)

the sparrow by maria doria russell (read this one anon!!! this would be on the list, but im not fully finished w it yet so i cant officially put it in my top 10 yet)

exquisite corpse by poppy z. brite (havent read that one yet but its on my list!!)

autobiography of red by anne carson (not a freak book. beautifully written, a work of art really)

as meat loves salt by maria mccann (havent read that one yet. hoping its as good as everyone says)

skagboys by irvine welsh (one thing about me is that i'll always find a way to mention the trainspotting books)

[hwangmimi]

hi again!! bear (he/him) here with a muse i truly adore and haven't had the chance to properly write yet, hwang mimi! he's 23, has been somewhat homeless since he was 20. i say 'somewhat' because he's luckily had a few friends let him stay on their couch here and there over the years, and had housing during his 18 months of military service. here you can find links to his profile, and bio. under the cut i'll leave some tldr info about him. also, please like this post if you'd like to plot!

mimi was born to a very normal young couple, but when he was only 2 his father passed away in an accident. left to raise her son alone, his mother was rather vulnerable, and got swept up into a very 'extreme' church

a mere year after his fathers passing his mother remarried the pastor of her new church, but mimi hated the man. he might've only been a toddler, but he knew from the start he didn't like the man one bit

he was right to dislike him. turned out 'the pastor' (mimi rarely called him by his name, and never called him dad) believed in 'the man of the house' being in charge. his mother was expected to cook and clean, while the pastor sat around doing nothing when he wasn't working. for a while he didn't let mimi's mother work, insisting that women's place was in the home.

long story short, mimi hated home life, though the birth of his sister when he was 6 definitely brightened the place up a bit. he really took to her and they ended up being best friends

mimi's 'behaviour' always got him in trouble at school and at home, and he was frequently punished. it all came to a head when he was in university and had joined a rock band. believing him to be possessed, the pastor attemped two exorcisms on him before throwing him out and forbidding him from contacting his sister or mother

living on the street, or sleeping on friends couches (which mimi hated bc he felt guilty about not being able to pay them any rent or give them anything in return) led to a pronounced decline in his mental health, and eventually led to him ending up in hospital with alcohol poisoning, which was the catalyst for his elistment

after his discharge from military service, initially his mental health was alright, but upon going right back to his homeless state of 18 months prior, his mental health plummeted again and he ended up being persuaded to seek medical help

after being diagnosed with bpd, he's been trying hard to manage his symptoms and regularly sees a therapist, but still has his wobbly moments

he managed to get a job after his mental health sort of stabilised, but has yet to find a place to live, since he cant rent on his own (doesn't earn enough) but is also reluctant to spend money as he wants to try and save up for a place big enough for him and his sister once she become an adult and he's allowed to talk to her again (that is if she even wants to talk to him anymore)

mimi struggles with keeping stable relationships, as he has an extreme fear of abandonment, leading him to act quite clingy, possessive and jealous with those closes to him

he also struggles with emotional regularity, and can get very upset very quickly, over seemingly really small things, or have violent outbursts. he always feels really terrible about it afterwards, and is getting better at handling it, but he still sometimes slips up

he tends to only drink around those he's close to and trusts to keep an eye on him, as he's nervous about overdoing it like he used to when his mental health was really bad

he loves music, its his absolute passion and the first thing he turns to when he needs to calm down (which is why he's always got his overear headphones round his neck, to block out the world when it gets a bit too much)

he really has no idea where he wants to go in life. right now he's sort of content working in the music shop, and probably thinks about owning one himself one day, but he's aware people don't really buy physical CDs anymore, and only some people get vinyls, so he's a bit worried music stores will die out

[filmfirecr4cker]

PART 2!!

here are my notes for episodes 2 and 3.

episode 2:

“some ideas are destructive and some are constructive. some ideas arrive in the form of a dream. i can say it again: some ideas arrive in the form of a dream.” 

jerry is a character thats for sure 

one-eyed jack’s seems to be some sort of brothel? and benjamin said that there is a new girl there “freshly scented from the perfume counter”

this ties back to ronette pulaski bc she worked at the perfume counter at the horne’s department store. is there some kind of sex-work scheme happening here with the girls at the perfume counter and one-eyed jack’s?

it should make sense bc we already saw ronette in the skin world mag so maybe

that being said, this new girl is probably underage too considering ronette is too which is super fucking gross 

donna also comes from a religious family 

i will say that the girls at one-eyed jack’s are dressed super cunty

yeah dude this new girl looks barely twenty if that godddddd  

benjamin is most likely having relations with a girl his daughter’s age dude wtf 

COOP IS HERE WITH HIS NEW WHISTLE HE MADE 

hmm okay so ronette had recently quit her job at the perfume counter.. i wonder is this has something to do with how she ended up 

audrey left coop a clueeeeee

there’s another person in the woods!! uh oh- maybe it’s dr. jacoby again???

“laura was a wild girl” (leo to bobby) 

ed and nadine dont have the healthiest relationship which obviously doesn’t excuse the cheating but it def seems like the only reason ed has stayed with her is because nadine is mentally unstable and he’s scared she might do something drastic 

YESSSS THE GIRLS ARE PLAYING OUTSIDE 

bobby stop grabbing shelly’s face challenge???? she literally has fucking bruises 

awwww everyone crowding around lucy when she offers to pour them coffee :(((

they are all best friends i love them sm

BWHAHHA THE WAY THEY ALL LEAN FORWARD TO HEAR HIM TALK ABOUT TIBET

coop is so eccentric i love him so much 

the bottle was hit but didn’t break when they said dr. jacoby’s name

coop’s idea for this deduction technique came from a dream just like what the log lady said in the intro

the glass broke when they said leo’s name 

shelly cant be too much older than the other girls so im guessing she and leo must have gotten married after she graduated 

audrey said came by church because of laura, i wonder why?

“there were things about laura i didn’t like, but she did help take care of my bother johnny. guess i sort of loved her for that.” (audrey to donna) 

audrey asked donna if laura ever talked about her father and when asked why she said “he used to sing to her” WHAT THE FUCK????? 

now im wondering, if laura worked at the perfume counter and one-eyed jack’s bc that would connect ronette and her together and also to mr. horne 

maybe the reason audrey and her father aren’t close and she causes problems for him is because she knows about his relations with younger girls at one-eyed jacks??? 

audrey dancing in the middle of the diner was so real of her to do 

she’s winning the idgaf war 

hawk found a very bloody rag a little ways away from the crime scene in the train car. i wonder if it has any correlation to leo’s bloody shirt

i love that lucy stuck her tongue out at albert after he was being a dick to her 

WAAAA SHE’S READING A BOOK ON TIBET NOW BC OF COOP 

mama bear harry came out HEHEHHEHEHE GET HIS ASS 

coop’s little thumbs up he gave him oh my god they’re in love actually 

why does nadine put emphasis on BALLS when she says cotton balls LMAOO ITS CRACKING ME UP 

josie found that katherine is keeping two ledgers in a safe behind a bookcase 

oh god leland is breaking down 

jesus christ girl shut the fuck up????? he’s losing it fr 

leland cut his hand when they broke that picture of laura and now hes wiping his blood all over it….. what the fuck 

sarah keeps screaming “what is going on in this house” and i could not agree more 

something super fucking weird is happening there 

coop is having a weird dream rn. first we see him but a little older in a red room and there’s a little man in a red vibrating/shaking profusely in the corner of what looks like the same room, and then there’s some flashes of sarah running around looking for laura, the creepy man crouching at the foot of the bed that sarah saw earlier, laura’s corpse, and now some guy’s voice is saying “through the darkness of future pasts, the magician longs to see. one chants between two worlds ‘fire, walk with me’” 

there’s “fire walk with me” again 

the guy speaking is the one armed man from earlier!!

the one armed man is talking about how “we lived among the people.” above a convenience store

“i, too, have been touched by the devilish one. tattoo on the left shoulder. ah, but when i saw the face of god, i was changed. i took the entire arm off.” 

he then goes to introduce himself as mike and the creepy guy as bob 

“catch you with my death bag. you may think ive gone insane. but i promise i will kill again.” (bob) 

okay this might be a stretch but is it really a coincidence that those two guys’ names are mike and bob??? could they be bobby and snake but from the future somehow maybe??? 

laura’s in the red room now!!

the man in the red suit stopped shaking/vibrating, said “lets rock”, and started rubbing his hands together which seems to be making this high-pitches ringing sound like when you wet your finger and trace it around the rim of a glass

i love the choice of having them talk in reverse as well as their blocking. it makes it so much more unsettling

laura looks at coop knowingly and touches the side of her nose, which is known as a sign of secrecy or conspiracy. i wonder what she’s referring to with that? 

something floats by the curtains in the background of the red room. i guess they’re covering windows of some sorts 

the little man tells coop that “the gum you like is going to come back in style.” then turns to laura and says “she’s my cousin. but doesn’t she look almost exactly like laura palmer?”

coop is the only one not talking in reverse

when he asked ‘not-laura’ if she was laura palmer, she replied with “i feel like i know her, but sometimes my arms bend back.” 

talking about her arms bending backwards, her face contorts in pain 

the man in the red suit says “she’s filled with secrets.” 

he then says “where we’re from, the birds sing a pretty song and there’s always music in the air.” and music starts playing and he starts to dance  (not in reverse this time) 

not-laura gets up and kisses coop (kiss of death maybe???) then whispers something to him 

girl what the fuck 

LMAOOOO HIS HAIRRRRRRR 

i’m guessing coop could still hear the music from his dream bc after he got off the phone with harry, he started snapping to the beat 

off topic, but im wondering if the little red dancing devil in soul eater is based off of the little man in the red suit. if so, thats a cool nod to the show 

episode 3:

“we are ignorant of many beautiful things. things like the truth.” 

“one day the sadness will end” 

audrey said that she slipped the note about one-eyed jack’s under coop’s door to help with the investigation and when he said that he thought they weren’t friends, she goes “ we weren’t friends, but i understood her better than most.” she is so intriguing to me!! i cant wait to they reveal more about her relationship with laura 

so laura did work at the perfume counter as well I FUCKING KNEW IT 

“my dream is a code waiting to be broken. break the code, salve the crime” 

so coop’s dream elaborates a bit more than we saw in the episode prior. he knows about sarah’s vision of bob, and that mike cut off his arm bc he found god and wanted to stop killing. and when bob vowed to kill again, mike shot him. 

apparently not-laura whispered the name of her killer in his ear but he cant remember 

lucy copying harry :((

okay now why is benjamin here in the morgue???? 

okay but albert ate him up 

YASSS BEAT HIS ASS HARRY 

okayyyyy mr boss man coop 

invitation to love is an in universe show that may or may not have any significance but im noting it incase it is 

so laura has a cousin named Madeline who looks exactly like her (she’s played by the same actress) 

OMG IS THIS CALLING BACK TO NOT-LAURA!!

norma’s husband, hank, has a parole hearing tomorrow 

COOP AND THE DUCKSSSSSS <333

the briggs gotta be catholic 

when major briggs sat down next to bobby, their arms bumped against each other and bobby instantly shifted away 

you they’re catholic. betty had a rosary in her hands 

okay so im assuming major briggs wasn’t around for a majority of bobby’s childhood, hence their estranged relationship and how major briggs seems to want to build a connection between them 

god his dad is a military man AND a catholic? no wonder he has issues LMAOOO

laura was tied up two separate times on the night of her death 

her were bent back, just like in coop’s dream 

the “bites” on laura’s shoulders are very odd and have to be from some creature of some sort 

the letter ‘j’ was also found in laura’s stomach 

i love andy’s voice so much 

awww it looks like coop wants to retire in twin peaks :((((

ed and norma dated in high school so they have had feelings for each other for a while 

ed and nadine make me sad bc you can tell nadine really loved ed but his heart just isn’t in it anymore

there’s secret passages in the lodge!! 

dr jacoby also treats johnny horne 

bobby has a black eye!! from what? his dad maybe? 

bobby said that “we killed her” in reference to laura and seemed genuinely upset. so i guess you can say that he did truly care for her 

oh my god leland jumped on top of the casket…. GET A GRIP ACTUALLY!! BE A MAN

sarah told him to not “ruin this too” what else has he ruined?

i love how coop is so good at picking up on other people’s body language that he spooks everyone when he calls them out on it LMAOOO  

jacques renault is a bartender at the roadhouse and was mentioned a couple episode earlier. apparently he is apart of the drug ring in twin peaks. harry, hawk, and big ed have been working on trying to bust everyone involved for 6 months 

“this must be where pies go when they die” COOOOOOOP NUMBER ONE GIRL 

okay the little sign used by ed and hawk a couple episodes earlier is them dragging their fingers from their temples down their cheeks. its a code of acknowledgement within their secret society (harry is apart of it too) that keeps an watchful eye concerning the darkness surrounding the woods of twin peaks 

they call themselves the bookhouse boys (they were referenced earlier as well but i thought they were just a biker gang or something) 

coop is so excited about this lol 

they say that the evil in the woods “takes many forms”….

so james and joey paulson are apart of it too 

the renaults are in the drug ring with leo 

shelly’s got a gun!!! and she’s hidden it with leo’s bloody shirt 

oooooooooh josie confides to harry that she believes that katherine and leland had something to do with her late husband’s death and thinks they might hurt her too 

dr. jacoby’s actor is honestly really good 

harry and josie are actually so sweet im gonna kms :((((

hawk talks about dream souls to cooper and how they wander to “faraway places. the land of the dead.” 

god here leland goes making another scene… 

twin peaks notes!!!

okay so these are all my notes and thoughts on the pilot and the first episode :3 enjoy.

pilot:

“it (the story) encompasses the all. it is beyond the fire, though few would know that meaning” 

“laura is the one” 

god josie is actually so beautiful 

sarah's paranoid has everyone caught off guard. i wonder if she knows something we dont

i love the choice they made having pete’s pov of finding laura be shot handheld. it makes it so much more off-putting and found-footagey

I LOVE LUCY SHES SO CUTE

sheriff harry truman you are so beautiful to me <3 

poor andy :(

the shot of the palmer’s stairwell is so off-putting i love it 

AUDREYYYYY god shes so cunty 

the way leland holds onto harry’s jacket was such a good character choice 

goddd shelly is so gorgeous 

all the ladies are so beautiful lets be real 

shelly and bobby are linking 

bobby and laura were dating 

laura was 17 when she died 

i like the detail of aurdey changing from her oxfords to red heels when she gets to school 

james’s goofy ass haircut.. like girl whatever

the last time mrs. palmer saw laura was 9pm 

she had just come from bobby’s 

laura’s phone rang sometime that night 

the wide shot of the pulaski girl walking across the bridge is so fucking good 

james said “laura was the one” which is probably referencing the fact that she was the one for him but its also an echo of the log lady said in the intro as well sooo

AHHHHHHHHHH SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER FBI MY POOKIE BUTTTTTTTT 

oh my god i love him so so much actually 

i like how harry and coop meet at the end of the hallway and walk towards the camera and then the camera starts moving with them 

coop is actually so funny i love him. him and his trees 

you can tell harry fell for him right when he asked about the firs BWHAHAHA

while they were in the elevator, there was a man with one arm 

ronette repeated “dont go there” 

laura was dr jacoby’s patient 

laura’s parents didn’t know she was seeing him.. i wonder why?

i dont know if this was intentional or not but while dr. jacoby was talking to coop and harry, he was touching the hula girl on his tie under her skirt. idk i just noticed it and it weirded me out. fucking freak 

laura had a letter "r" under her nail on her ring finger. it seems like the killer is leaving a clue maybe??

apparently this is something coop has seen before 

snake and donna are dating 

laura’s last diary entry was “asparagus for dinner again. i hate asparagus. does this mean ill never grow up? nervous about meeting j tonight.” 

i love how lynch creates the atmosphere of twin peaks. it feels wet and cold 

“tell harry i didn’t cry.” oh andyyyyyy he’s so sweet. poor thing 

the video tape of donna and laura is so cute 

coop is so good at his job. thats my man

“you didn’t love her anyway” YEAH GET HIS ASS GET HIM 

audrey loves to cause problems on purpose and i support her 

snake and that gayass pose he does up against the wall 

laura was cheating on bobby with james 

donna definitely had feelings for laura and she fell into the trap of being in love with her best friend then hooking up with the boy she was with to feel close to her “i wanna kiss his lips bc they taste like you” kind of vibe yk?

love all the shots of the woods 

did ronette escape or was she let go?

the found laura’s half heart necklace and a note that says “fire walk with me” written in blood

james has the other half  

in the deposit box they found a flesh world magazine with ronette’s picture circled inside it and about $10,000 cash 

and there’s a pic of leo’s truck in the mag as well 

leo is shelly’s abusive ugly fucking husband. i hope he dies 

shelly is cheating on him with bobby 

the actor that plays leo is so bad LMAOOO 

the snowshoe rabbit :((((

coop is so fascinated by the flora and fauna of twin peaks and i love how he tells harry all about it (asking him questions and stuff). its so sweet

andrew packard was josie’s late husband who died in a boating accident a little over a year prior and he was katherine's brother. josie ended up inheriting everything that katherine would have so i guess that explains why she has a stick up her ass...

log lady is here!!! love her 

harry and coop are literally “me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic” LMAOOOO

i love harry sm. he's always looking out for everyone; hes such a good sheriff <3

teresa banks was the case that coop had mentioned earlier that made him think that laura’s death was connected somehow 

donna’s sister harriet is so cute. her being a poet and everything 

bobby is so annoying smhhhh 

“oh we’ll find her. dont you worry about that.” now why would you say it like that TO HER DAD YOU FREAK oh my god boys are so fucking stupid and creepy 

i wonder why snake and bobby are called “mutt” and “jeff” by joey and scotty????

ed and norma are having an affair and it seems like they’ve had feelings for each other for a while 

norma’s husband is in jail for manslaughter (yikes bitch)

oh coop is whittling i love him :(( 

HIS LITTLE THUMBS UP GOD

he’s by best friend guys like actually 

“you think they spotted us?” “gimme a donut.” LMAOOOOO LIKE???

laura was wrapped up in some fucked up stuff apparently 

“i knew her more that she thought i did.” ughhhhhhhhh kms

bobby killed somebody!! 

OOOOO THEY KISSED DONNA AND JAMES KISSED!! god it kinda was gross like they were literally eating each other’s faces BWHAHHA 

they buried their half of the necklace 

bobby is such a punk bitch 

OH MY GOD WHY DOES HE HAVE THOSE FUCKING CRAZY EYES DAMN

james looks like a cornered dog 

awww doc hayward and donna’s relationship is so sweet smhhh

lucy is such an angel with her little donut buffet 

EWWWWWWW WHY ARE THEY (snake and bobby) BARKING FUCKING TWEAKERS GODDAMN?!??!??!

josie and harry are so so cuteeeeeeee i love them 

harry literally pulled the baddest bitches in the entire show 

katherine is plotting evilly in her armchair WITH MR HORNE

god i love how foreboding the shot of the palmers stairwell is 

someone found the necklace donna and james buried and it looks like mrs. palmer had a vision about that or something??

lots of cheaters in this town LMAOOO

"it's beyond the fire" and "fire walk with me" what is the fire???

episode 1:

“behind all things are reasons. reasons can even explain the absurd.”  

HIS ASS IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO

his fucking sock garters COME ON

“diane, it struck me again earlier this morning. there are two things that continue to trouble me and im speaking now not only as an agent of the bureau but also as a human being. what really went on between marilyn monroe and the kennedys? and who really pulled the trigger on jfk?” LIKE BITCH!!! I HATE HIM (affectionately)

coop is so real for being transfixed with audrey bc me too

laura tutored audrey’s brother johnny 

johnny is said to have “emotional problems” bc he’s 27 and in the third grade. im assuming its some mental disability 

audrey said that “emotional problems” run in the family 

audrey you are so strange girl. love you tho

i love how everybody in the station has donuts in their mouths LMAOOOO 

i also love how coop says "three for three" after he sees andy, lucy, and harry all eating donuts

laura’s cause of death was blood loss

leo has a big old blood stain on one of his shirts :0

EW YOU FREAK LET GO OF HER GOD 

his nasty ass ponytail fucking barf

laura was doing cocaine 

james has been the only one who seems to have been the most honest whilst being interrogated (yk excluding the part about the locket) 

laura, bobby, and snake have been in cahoots with leo. im guessing it has to do with drugs 

laura’s video played again and it stopped on a frame of her face and her voice whispered “help me” 

big ed is james’s uncle 

harry knows about ed and norma

someone drugged ed at the roadhouse 

coop has some of his FBI guys coming down to examine laura’s body 

ed gave a little gesture to hawk when he returned james back to him, which hawk mirrored back to him. they seem to be touching the side of their eyes/temples? and wiping down, like a tear maybe??? what’s up with that?

james’s mom is out of town 

HEHEHHEHE HARRY CALLING THEM SHERLOCK AND WATSON 

pete and josie have a sweet relationship too :((

pete kind of reminds me of my dad a little bit 

laura helped josie with her english 

she aid that the last time she saw laura, she was upset about something but they didn’t talk about it. laura then told josie “i think i now understand how you feel about your husbands death.” whatever that means

katherine is such a cunt i hate her so much

of course cooper would know what shenanigans means 

katherine is cheating on pete with benjamin horne. gross. 

she and mr. horne are trying to bankrupt the mill. he also suggests that they burn it down

EWWWWW OH MY GOD HES KISSING/SUCKING HER TOESSSSS NOOOOOOOOO

so donna went over to the palmer’s house, and sarah suddenly hallucinated and thought donna was laura. then she saw a creepy guy crouching and looking up at her from a bed? and promptly started freaking out

rosette worked at the horne’s department store as a salesgirl at the perfume counter and joked it was “the sweet job she ever had”

the one armed man is back!!!

“laura died two days ago. i lost you years ago.” mr. horne said this to audrey and it gives us some insight into their relationship (i hope they elaborate on this more in the future)

okay so it looks like bobby comes from a religious and military home

his father is def the dominant head of the family. he has a strong presence and his wife seems to be more meek compared to him. very “good christian wife” core. thats not a dig at her, she seems sweet enough, but when general briggs slaps bobby for putting a cigarette in his mouth at dinner, she does nothing about it 

laura helped norma with the “meals on wheels program” that laura helped organize. she really does seem like such a golden child

the log apparently saw something the night laura died  

god, the way shelly’s face dropped when leo asked about his shirt gave me chills

laura recorded tapes for dr. jacoby

“i just know im gonna get lost in those woods again tonight. i just know it.” (laura on one of her tapes)

she also mentioned a  “mystery man”. i wonder if its the creepy guy sarah hallucinated or something

ohhhhh so it was dr. jacoby who found the other half of the necklace 

[youranxiousnerd]

Showtime Thoughts

bc i am in love with julia lester

spoilers below

First off, why is this episode so short?

ngl i forgot mazzara was a regular

ricky ded besties

awww nina and the letters 

she looks very good in her dress

ashlyn and ricky look so good

“We’re screwed!”

ash and ricky are too funny like where were they this season?

chaotic and pretty best friends

sidenote, why did they go see north high’s production? 

oh my god ricky and nina are talking

SEBLOS IN THE BACKGROUND

i am taking what i can get

RICKYS FACE WITH THE CARD!!!!!!!!

my favorite part of the episode

his makeup looks very good

he looks very good

as @organic-guacamole said, he is very pretty

its been like three minutes and it already is so chaotic

yessss kourtney’s mom!!!

so howie and kourt are fine? gah since when?

“look for the shortest fork” mood

I CANNOT TAKE EJ SERIOUSLY HE LOOKS LIKE AN ANGRY BIRD

big bird ej comin at you

oh

PORTWELL DATE

wait isnt this ejs last show? is he going to miss his last afterparty for a date?

true love bitches

GINA MY LOVE

“Is he with us?”

NORTH HIGH SET OUR BEST BOI ANTOINE ON FIRE APS GET READY

seb being a supportive boyfriend is everything i needed

jenny is frazzled

i love how all the techie turned actors are nervous at some point during the episode

REDLYN CONTENT

awww thats so cute love the callback!!!

ooo howie is here

love how the writers leave a cliffhanger and then close the book before it turns to tragedy with one line

mazzara and ej, thats it

jenn what

why is mike there?

that was so unnecessary like aren’t mike and jenn over?

LILY

“did we forget to build a moat around the school” 

let ricky be single challenge

she just said “lol” i cant

props to ricky for keeping calm during the show after he saw mike and jenn

ah so lily is a child of divorce?

“lily scram”

RICKY AFTER THE CURTAIN OPENS WHY IS THIS FUNNY

STOP MAZZARA IS THE VOICE OVER

HE SOUNDS REALLY GOOD

how did ricky do that so fast-

put on gloves over the cast, makeup, and a mask?

i dont work with costumes 

AMERICA EXPLAIN

The one scene we get from the show...

Yay Steph!!!!

“Big Red has not thrown up in twenty minutes” ashlyn’s little smile

“she heard wrong”

someone please explain how spotlighting the judge is a good idea it makes it seem like things went wrong

“Carlos is a seasoned professional” honey carlos is on the verge of a mental breakdown

“He says help

Communication

Seb translating for Carlos is beautiful dramatic, yes, but im right. 

im so proud of them. they go from not talking for a week to seb being able to tell how carlos is feeling based off a stoic expression.

SOULMATE SHIT

IM SORRY NO BOP TO THE TOP CALLBACK

LIKE NONE

WHO WANTS TO RIOT WITH ME?!?!

wait so carlos goes from on the verge of a mental breakdown to full on performing and speaking?!?!?!? Speaking well too, not stumbling.

he looks so comfortable on stage when not even ten minutes ago he looked like he was going to vomit?

h e l p

ashlyn’s little laugh!

NINI IS A FORK IM LAUGHING THIS IS GREAT

big red lookin’ at his girl

ricky what are you doing?

ASHLYN AND GINA

I QUIT THEY’RE ADORABLE

GET IT KOURTNEY

howie’s little mouth drop

i cant with sebs costume i should not be laughing how is he able to do a kick line

ASHLYN MY LOVE

be our guest was enjoyable. it had a lot of moving parts. frankie and dara sounded really good. it’ll probably grow on me the more i listen to it.

is it just me or did be our guest lack some energy?

NATIALIE IS SO AGGRESSIVE

awww gina bb

portwell!!

“my mom sent me jordan fisher”

big red and ricky!!!

...what is big red doing? has he been faking sick?

“PLEASE EVERYONE REMAIN IN THE SAME ROLE YOU STARTED IN” 

BEST LINE OF THE SEASON OMFG 

alright what the hell is up with howie?!?

kourtney is so excited and then downer howie comes to ruin it

nina just write “thanks for being the best bro and glad youre not dead”

btw kourtney and gina look really good in their costumes

ASHLYN!!!!

SHES SO PRETTY THANK YOU

redlyn!!

gina and jamie!!! 

he looks so proud

glad gina gets to see her family!

cute scene, jordan is a nice addition!

RICKY AND THE BOWL

julia lester is killing it with the vocals

big red is so in love

seb bouncing in the costume 

“she’s never looked at me that way before” evil smirk

PORTWELL GLANCES

my heart fricking stopped when carlos went on stage 

being early on your cue/missing is awful would highly not recommend

a bop to the top callback after this would have been perfect

those harmonies!!

THEYRE SO IN LOVE

ummm phone call?

CHIPS BIG SCENE

...why wasn’t seb cogsworth? 

alright that was really good. everyone (even the backup) sounded really good. portwell rights! ashlyn rights! kowie rights! acting rights! 

so mazzara and jamie?

Ashlyn is the perfect Belle fight me

“Eat it Zackey Roy!” how about “yay kiddos, nice job!”

ej’s little dance

“bc you’re ginas brother” 

he is enamored by her it is adorable

EJ CASWELL RIGHTS

“hey, jordan fisher, would you like to f up one of three stableish ships in hsmtmts?” “sure, im in!”

ej!!!

aww hopefully he doesnt take the conversation too heart. they both like each other so much.

Portwell is so enjoyable to watch.

return of the bro

ej go get your girl dont worry about her brother please

SOMEONE TOUCHED THE PROPS

all hands on deck

“Can you just jump off something high”

I seem to remember Ricky falling from something high last episode, is that correct? 

She tells this to one of her most UNSTABLE kids

Oh shit

Miss. Jenn

Wtf

like what the actually hell

look at the kids faces they’re heartbroken

Miss. Jenn why. You’re stressed about the show, but you’re not performing it. They are. They have to worry about lines and cues and pitches, not you. Miss. Jenn has literally gone at the kids this season. Opening night speech too Ash and Ricky, shutting Seb down, that comment. She has become obsessed with the Menkies and North High. It has gotten really bad. These kids have put everything into this show, even their relationships (both platonic and romantic) and that is how you repay them? 

I didn’t think they would address this, I lost hope after last week but I am so glad they’re going too.

Someone send Seb after Miss. Jenn please, let him rip into her, he would do very well.

Miss. Jenn is supposed to be the role model and she just told a kid to jump off something high.

nina has been a godsend this episode, props to her!

haven’t been the biggest nini fan this season (off and on for me), but she was very behaved this episode. 

if there is anything the east high kids are good at, it’s bullshitting their way out.

“aim for my face” character growth

I KNEW IT

LILY WHY HOW WHEN WHY 

WTF THEY END THERE I CANNOT WITH CLIFF HANGERS

I liked the episode. Didn’t love it, but liked it. I really wish we got to see more acting, like we didn’t even see Big Red and E.J go on stage. Not even the iconic yellow dress. Some of the drama is so unnecessary, like why Mike and Jenn? What is with the Kourtney and Howie drama the writers insist on having, can’t they just be happy?

Besides the whole harness incident (burn that harness and mask it is causing so many problems) the production went very well, too well. This is East High we’re talking about.

Promo thoughts because what

oo they’re sneaking, maybe Big Red’s thingy

YES ASHLYN GETTING THE LOVE SHE DESERVES

oo Kowie confession?

portwell please be okay

what is up with carlos’ hair?

so seb, miss. jenn, and carlos scene? this has the potential to be very beautiful.

“It’s not over” not this again... 

i’m thinking carlos and seb are going to talk to miss jenn.

Sidenote, if we do not get a good seblos scene I will riot.

Hopefully Miss. Jenn apologizes with a billion sorrys

rini you just broke up please dont get back together 

im scared

if it is a scene where they close the book i will be very happy

Are we getting a flash forward scene? I’m pretty sure Miss. Jenn said Menkies aren’t till two plus weeks after the show.

We know based off the promo pics Ej and Gina are at the cast party, what went wrong?

Wait do we not get to see the finale of the show?

We better see the goddamn transformation

how does lily home and core four song fit in? im more curious about the lily one.

In conclusion, I am not ready for this to be over and the transformation needs to be sent to hell.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Owen Grady’s child

Owen Grady x child!reader

warnings: knives, guns

a/n: i cannot remember the plot bare w me

prompt: being owen’s child

okay, let’s start with the fact that he’s a single dad

that did not stop him from raising you right

navy brat

after a little bit of instability during his years of service, he got a job as a raptor trainer

so you see, it wasn’t a typical childhood

you two moved to isla nublar so he could begin his work

“woah, that’s a dinosaur?”

“yeah, kiddo, she’s a velociraptor”

you were a bit older when you met the dinosaurs, so owen trusted you to be around them

“if you respect them, they’ll respect you”

blue took a liking to you pretty quick!!!

owen thought it was adorable the way you got along with the raptors

you were sort of like a co-trainer

living in that lil trailer

“this place is too small”

“quit your complaining and eat your mac and cheese”

your dad taught you how to fix cars and motorcycles

you did a bang-up job

“you really are my child. oh, my god, im so proud”

watching tv with owen all the damn time

it was usually cartoons though bc that was all he cared to watch

sometimes he forgets that you are not a raptor and you have to jog his memory

“can you get your hand out of my face before i tear it off?”

half of your holiday gifts are weapons

“look at this knife, y/n! it’s two inches longer than your old one. you’ll grow into it”

“dad, a knife is not a pair of pants...but thank you, i love it”

you’re pretty good at throwing knives, though. your dad put a target on a nearby tree for you to practice

every once in a while it’s gun practice, though

“okay, remember the proper foot stance...now arms. make sure not to lock up, make sure your fingers are clear from anything that could move...okay, go!”

there was a high level of trust between you and your dad

he ruffles your hair a lot, you used to care

you no longer care

you had free admission to the park, so sometimes you’d take the day off and wander around for a while

you always came home with a stuffed animal (or several)

“is that a stuffed pterodactyl?”

“his name is pterry”

“nice”

back to raptor training: you loved it!!!!!!!

training a dinosaur was nothing like training a dog, lemme tell you

these lovely dinos made you so happy!!!

they’re pretty at-ease when you’re nearby

arguing when anyone talks about using them for some sort of selfish profit

“they’re animals, dipshit! stop treating them like weapons!”

“mr. grady, are you going to tell your child to behave?”

“no, no i will not”

claire popping over to see your dad while you were working on his bike

because she suddenly needed your dad’s help

and wanted to exclude you until your dad said he wouldn’t do anything unless you had the opportunity to come along

“you know, y/n, i have a nephew who’s about the same age as you visiting here right now”

“how old am i, claire?”

she did not have a response

your dad was stifling chuckles

“nice one, kid” *high five*

tHe InDoMiNuS rEx

you: 👀

owen: 👀

yeah this was not gonna be good

tbh you almost died when you were surveying the cage

why? oh, i don’t know...because there was a BIG FUCKING DINOSAUR IN THAT BITCH

“y/n! under there!”

you ran ahead of owen and ducked under a truck where he soon followed (and dumped gasoline all over yall)

terrifying, truly

your dad did not want to let you out of his sight

not todayyyy

“are you okay, yeah?”

“perfect...”

busting into the control center :) tee hee

while owen was barking orders at people and telling them to not do what they were doing, you were sitting next to the guy with a bunch of dinosaurs on his desk

“you like them?”

“not really, i’m not five”

“oh...”

turning to the screen to see flatlining soldiers

“oh, shit. uh, that’s not good. you need to close the park maybe?”

they dont like listening to the child with the bright ideas ig

they did end up shutting off rides though. best they can do, huh?

claire couldnt get in contact with her nephews

you went after them together

it was a long ass journey

you almost died a few times

although your father did trust you to take care of yourself, even in a situation like this, he still was extremely worried for your safety

you got a gun :)

this was actually positively the worst day of your life

okay, it took a long while to catch up to claire’s nephews

“jesus, claire, you’re nephews sure know how to move. this is getting exhausting”

you didn’t find them until the......pterodactyls got loose

“pterry would never do something like this”

“not the time or place, y/n”

“sorry, dad”

finally finding those damn kids

“hey, i’m y/n, your crazy ass aunt just dragged me and my dad all the way around the island to find you!”

oh yeah a pterodactyl tackled your dad

whoop de do your gun was jammed

claire saved the day and all three of you witnessed their little display of pda amidst chaos

“wow, uh, maybe we’ll be cousins...”

your dad finally caved and agreed to use the raptors to find the indominus rex

and you got to prove your badassery out there

“you sure you’re up for this mission, y/n? you know you can stay with claire and the boys if you want”

“i’ll be okay, dad, i promise”

he gave you a hug

YOU GOT A MF MOTORCYCLE

okay i cant lie, you and your dad riding motorcycles side-by-side among velociraptors was probably the coolest thing you’ll ever get to do

but they, uh, kind of turned on you and next thing you know, you were speeding after the ambulance claire was driving

zach and gray were relieved to see you

you gave ‘em a little wave

“do you think we’ll ever be that cool?”

“gray, not now”

“i’m gonna take that as a ‘no’”

CLAIRE LET OUT THE MOTHERFUCKING T-REX

it was an Experience(tm)

you were split up from your dad and the boys while she was doing that

so you were deathly worried

running over there when it was safe

“is everyone alright?”

“define ‘alright’” -gray

“we’re fine, y/n” -zach

“are you okay?” -dad

“yeah, i think so”

this final battle between the dinosaurs was a bit shocking to watch, but it was hard to keep your eyes off

it all wrapped up and the dinos were let loose

and......the park got closed down

you and your dad were unemployed effective immediately

but your dad and claire finally got together

“you guys are sweet but are we all going to fit in that little camper?”

“we’ll make it work”

they did for a while

but there was a lot if arguing

your dad wanted to reside in the camper forever, claire didn’t, they broke up, you stayed with your dad to help him out during hard times, he decided to build a cabin

he claims he was not affected by the breakup but you knew better

you and your dad had an unbreakable bond, you’d been through so much together

it was only a matter of time before the world had something new in store for you and dad

taglist:

[urmomsstuntdouble]

happy jesus killing day lads, on this day i offer you some insider insight into my skater girls au

so they live in las vegas

the original idea was nyo spaus with them meeting when nyo prussia (annelise’s roommate) tears her acl while skating. anna is now required to drive her everywhere, which, for some fuckin reason still includes the skate park, which is how she meets isabel

julia is also in a rock band with kiku and chiara, and their current goal is to play in a casino. any casino really but since anna works at a casino, julia’s trying to get her to put a good word in, but anna doesn’t really want to because she’s stressed tm and she’s already driving julia everywhere, including to the fucken skate park, where she can’t do anything because she’s on crutches

isabel thinks all this is hilarious and likes to poke fun at anna a lot, cause she’s just sort of amused by this stressed out posh lady

the skate park is a sort of community gathering spot for all these fuckin lesbians of las vegas, and though anna isn’t a skater and doesn’t know anything about skating she still feels a little drawn to it

but she also cant take a fucken joke to save her life so when isabel starts teasing her she gets >:( in return, which gives her the reputation as an angy person and the skater girls start accepting her into the group 

other skater girls include nyo sweden, nyo hong kong, nyo finland, hungary, iceland (they’re bad at it but want to be alt very badly), vietnam, seychelles, and Probably More once the au gets more developed

criteria to join the skater group is that i have to make a design where you look good on a skateboard/in skates

nyo sweden wanted to be a pro ballerina in her youth but also she’s stuck in vegas so the best she can really hope for is being a stripper or smth so she’s just gonna go be a pseudo ballerina but with inline skates

she’s also currently getting her phd in online school in education, and she’s married to nyo fin because i’m lazy and reusing my baseline human au characterisations for them

nyo hong kong is also stuck in vegas bc her uncle (yao) owns a casino

she’s not complaining about living at a casino bc thats undeniably cool, but she is complaining about having to live there all the time

ice and sey think its cool though and are supportive when she wants to crash at one of their houses for the night

nyo fin is a college dropout and she’s living with the other nordics in an apartment that’s a bit too far from the strip to walk, but she does it anyway (in the winter) cause she likes walking. she works at the same casino that yao owns, and she’s a very manipulative dealer

hungary is another roommate with anna and julia. she’s more into the skating for the excersize and used to want to be in the military, but now she’s just sort of making it through the days and working at a restaurant. 

iceland is very upset with the fact that they’re a teenager in las vegas, but at least their friend lives at a casino and they won’t get kicked out for being queer. passionate about learning, but vegas isn’t really kid friendly, so they’re a bit >:(

vietnam skates to blow off steam. she is a bartender and hates the customer service aspect of her job, but she actually quite likes mixing drinks. she’d do quite a few things to escape, and she hates living in the desert, but here the fuck she is, at least for now. 

seychelles is also a bit pissed about being a teenager in las vegas, and also pleased that her friend lives at a casino. she’s her class president at school and wants to go into education herself someday

other background/non skater characters include:

kiku, who plays bass in his band. julia and chiara are also in the band and play drums and piano, respectively. he has asked anna to join the band because she gets away with murder on the violin but she’s politely refused him. he’s their manager and books them gigs a lot. they’ve played at a lot of places around town, but are currently looking to get into some of the bigger casinos, like caesar’s palace or something

alfred, who’s one of chiara’s childhood friends. they moved to vegas together after high school (with the intent of moving to la) but alfred’s car broke down in the desert and they sort of wound up needing to live here so they could work to afford to fix the car and then make more savings to move to la but now they just live in vegas (they’re both from new york)

the other nordics! nyo norway works at a claires’ and nyo denmark is trying to make it as a standup comedian

yao, the owner of a casino. he’s one of those bosses who says stuff like we treat our employees like family here, and he actually sort of does but tis only because he’s a bit of a distant uncle. some of his relatives (hk, taiwan, and macau) have moved into the casino as well and he’s very stressed by all these responsibilities but can’t let anyone see him sweating so he maintains the air of a magnificent bastard

maybe india has seen him sweating.

chiara is also in the band, she’s their singer. the band was formed when she met julia at her old job, when she was a freelance singer and got hired to do the national anthem by germany’s high school, and they met at a football game. she’s in the band now and she’s Trying Her Best

i think that’s it actually

art for this au x x

[mostlikelyshutup]

thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

[catboyithaqua]

Ramuda and Doppo :0

OH MY BOYS LETS GO

Under a cut bc long

Ramuda Amemura

First impression

Baby boy baby. Very cute and sweet i love characters with ramudas aesthetic i tend to want to protect them, especially since its an aesthetic that i fall into myself and lo v e so kseidjsnfn YEAH this man is baby!!!

Impression now

Ohhh my god i love this man i love the way he is characterised he is so incredibly interesting as a character and tbh so realistic and honestly i adore him!!! I alarmingly see a lot of myself in him tbh, were incredibly similar and that isnt necessarily a good thing!! But still i love this man

Favorite moment

Oh man where tf do i BEGIN there are so many ngl, but mostly all of the moments where we see ramuda's humanity. There is still a sweetness left under the darkness, there is still a man who wants to cling onto everything he has - his emotion, his internal battles, his morality vs his desperate need to survive - oh fucking man so much.

Idea for a story

CAN WE FUCKING. HAVE RAMUDA TALK HIS SHIT OUT PLEASE can we just have others actively helping ramuda cAN THIS MAN PLEASE BE SHOWN THAT ITS NOT TOO LATE FOR HIM,,, PLEASE,, i just want ramuda to finally talk out everything and have people on his side. Please.

Unpopular opinion

This probs isnt unpopular by any means, but idk what else to put here so take this:

I dont really see it often discussed that yknow ramuda is an abuse victim. Like, its very clear that chuokhu uses and abuses him, and his life is constantly being hung over his head. No wonder the dude is doing anything he can in order to survive, he has no choice in that regard. Before i get told this in the notes yes i know this doesnt excuse the things hes done!!! But tbh i really think that like the trauma that ramuda is living with kinda needs to be addressed.

Favorite relationship

I am a huge multishipper and have found a way to ship ramuda w just about most people (that are adults and not in chuokhu lol) so this is pretty tough

Id say either fling poly or jkrm and these are my reasons lets go:

Fling poly: HAVE YOU S E E N THEM do i really need to say more here all three of them have such good chemistry together, theyre all clearly on the same wavelength and have such a wonderful dynamic,,, they found out about the clones and shit and they STILL chose to protect ramuda and to fight for him and with him and to stay by his side aND BLACK JOURNEY TOO I-- IM GONNA START SOBBING,,,

Jakuramu: this one is not based on canon too much i am sorry this is mostly hc but i am a huge sucker for enemies to lovers ok also, i feel like out of TDD these two would be the ones to reconcile. After all, jakurai is a rather empathetic man and he probably would def understand the situation that ramuda was in. After all this dude was an ex assassin, if ramuda was to tell him everything, im sure that he would be able to relate to yknow the time he took others' lives, people with families and friends that he killed because he was ordered to and most likely had no other choice. Of course, jakurai is well within his right to not forgive ramuda for what happened to yotsutsuji, but i feel like he would and would help him get out of the situation hes in,,, and also im soft for the TDD era ok like how jakurai WANTED TO KNOW THE REAL RAMUDA AND LIKE,,, even when ramuda snapped at him he was GLAD HE WANTSD TO KNOW HIM FUCK MAN,,, i just really like these two ok

Favorite headcanon

I have quite a lot of hcs! Here are a few and like some explanation as to why:

- hes trans - i personally believe this bc personally itd make sense. Ramuda has a very feminine appearance and build, those that are like typically common in asian countries. As well as that, he has his own autonomy unlike the other clones. It wouldnt surprise me if chuokhu orignally wanted to make a girl to keep the other divisions in check, but when he decided personally that he didnt want to be such a way, they said sure, more room for us to treat you as we want to. Hes got money, getting T wouldnt be that difficult for him either, so thats why his voice is. That way fiaudjsnfnd anyway i think it makes sense!! Idk--

- he has bpd - projection probably but the biggest inspiration for this headcanon is how he is emotionally. His swings are violent - he feels and expresses such a diverse range of emotions and its so easy for him to change his emotional disposition - whilst also mostly feeling totally empty. Relationship wise also, given how he was genuinely really close to jakurai and then completely splitting on him, h a t i n g him. Yeah that sounds like bpd to me chief i know i have it!!! Theres more ik there is but i cant pull up examples rn

- hes neurodivergent - again mostly projection honestly and like there isnt much of a canon basis in his behaviour, just little things, but i like to personally hc that aside from eating candy to stay alive duh, that he chooses lollipops bc they serve as a sort of stim?? Also ik that fashion is his job but hes also so so clearly passionate about it that its a special interest for him, and thats partially why he took it up as a job in the first place, so he could do something related to his special interest lol. Idk i know there isnt any basis for this but just let me have autistic ramuda iaiesjdnsnfn

Doppo Kanonzaka

First impression

Now THATS what i call a tired mf!!! This dude has yves saint laurent eyebags also he really reminds me of aggretsuko somehow??? Im really not sure what it is

Impression now

Yeah i was def right with the aggretsuko comparison siaishsnshfb BUT I LOVEEE HIM i love him very much and i think this man really needs a break and is also very relateable i love

Favorite moment

As much as i love fp i absolutely adore the badass koments that doppo has including when he absolutely fucking obliterated fling posse sksjxnxncn also!! All of his little moments with hifumi i genuinely enjoy their dynamic its so cute

Idea for a story

Honestly i wanna see him slowly recover from the teauma that he has experienced because this king absolutely deserves it, and also from a practical point of view itd make this mf s t r o n g e r i also just.... long to see doppo happy honestly he deserves to smile!!

Unpopular opinion

I dont really have an unpopular opinion but saving like leaving this blank: as much as i absolutely adore jakurai and hifumi and their music (jakurai is my fave out of every hypmic character and i WILL drive this home), to me doppo just has the best music. Like, i love tigridia and BLACK OR WHITE so fucking much its absolutely unreal and all of doppos verses in every song are juust so fucking good. As much as i listen to you are, therefore i am on repeat every day of my life doppos music is just the best ✨

Favorite relationship

Again i am a huge multishipping bitch and i habe a few ships with doppo but in ahll honesty my fave is very clear - i absolutely adore his dynamic with matenrou as a whole and especially hifumi - his relationship with hifumi is clearly so special and it really shows how strong their friendship is, and in a ship sense i find it to be realy cute bc theres such a clear need for each other and that even if they clearly come at odds sometimes, at the end of the days theyre still clearly so close and i just,,, god doppo reallt deserves someone like hifumi in his life and im so glad that he has it!!!!

Favorite headcanon

Honestly i dont really think i have too many for doppo but given his general demeanor and his attitude, i personally hc him as demi. Yeah i know that sexualities dont have like typical personalities and such but i feel like given his anxieties around new people and how he clearly only really sticks to those that hes very close with, it makes more sense for him to be demi than any other sexuality to be quite honest - and this is also just pushing my hifudo agenda aiqiauansnssn but yknow!!!!

[loptyrs-moved]

Can you talk more abt ur fandoms ocs? I like your writing a lot and would like to know more abt em

Oh my goodness I’m 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you’re SO sweet thank you!

Well, I have quite a few and some have their own deeper lore stories that go with them. If you guys want more information on them, I can do separate posts on all of them. But Here they are! I’m so excited to share my babies with you!

More is under the cut. The Picrew I used is here.

Ikemen Revolution

Black Army Side

Corrin Fukui

Age: Appears to be in mid-early twenties

Hair: Brick white

Eyes: Blood Red

Height: 4′11

Any other Qualities:

Draconic features -- She’s literally a dragon but not by nature

Curved Opalescent Horns

Shimmery opalescent tail

Wings that also shimmer in the light

retractable?

Pointed ears

Easily frightened by loud noises and sudden movements

stunted growth

Hoards blankets and comfort items

writes in a journal every day 

its one luka got for her and she refuses to write in anything else. she pours her heart out on the pages, and all her memories

she had a brother! but he passed away because of the magic tower :(

turns into a gIANT DRAGON 

ICE ICE BREATH BABY

Was found by Luka while on a patrol near the forbidden forest, lost and afraid, so she was taken in

Had amnesia at first

She actually is an experiment of Amon and she managed to escape

Excellent at sewing and gardening

Sufficient with baking

She’s for Luka! The way they fell for each other was a slow, gradual trust, and mutual understanding. She saw him as a man, as he was, and nothing else.

Sometimes is called Corri

gentle hearted and innocent

but not as innocent as you’d think 

she’s a dragon, and she’s a greedy little one

Ophelia Dae

Age: 24

Hair: Crimson red

Eyes: Jade green

Height: 5′8

Any other Qualities:

A skilled swordsman, and one of the Chosen Thirteen

9 of Spades baybeee

While she is more accustomed to short swords and sabers, Phelia is a magic user! But she isn’t really in agreement with Ray with his stance on magic

BOMBASTIC AS HELL

BISEXUAL

“Is he bothering you Queen?”

Trans

Was friends with Ray and Fenrir while in school, and was just as much of a hellraiser as them

she was there when the day things went dark happened and was almost taken but that day is a blur for her

phelia REFUSES to talk about it

she still has nightmares

raised by a single mother

TRIVIA! She was an old fire emblem oc i had and she was the daughter of Arvis -- so if you squint when she uses magic you’ll see Valflame

joined the army probably because Fenrir was too, and she was inspired by him 

she joined for her own reasons but he made it easier for her to do it too

his passion was what made her fall for him in the first place

has a personal vendetta against the magic tower for what they did to her and her friends

AND CORRIN JEEZ

will sacrifice herself if necessary to the cause

PROBABLY HAS ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF IT

Bruh girl

Amira Nasiri

Age: 22

Hair: Chocolate brown

Eyes: Turquoise blue

Height: 5′3

Any other qualities:

My version of Alice! Difference is that she’s Persian

That’s it

She’s just as spunky as Alice 

however she responds with being called Alice a little different

she’s adamant about being called Amira

At some point she just accepts Seth does it to distance himself

also an avid baker like alice

pISTACIOS

BAKLAVA

Amira is just Alice except she’s just my take on her. 

She has the same vibrant spirit as Alice

and I personally consider Seth the canon route for REASONS

just ask me why fjgdfgjksd

Red Army Side

Azul Flores

Age: 25

Hair: Raven black

Eyes: Wisteria purple

Height: 5′0

Any Other Qualities:

An old friend of the Queen of Hearts

like she met him when she was 8 years old

fought his bullies when they would give him a hard time when he was a kid

they dated for a WHILE

did NOT work out

HARD CHILDHOOD

Ambitious, hard working young woman who was married into a high standing family on the Red side. Her mother was a teacher and gained the attention of one of the Chosen Thirteen on that side, and got married

Azul is NOT the officer’s daughter. She’s his step daughter

Has had extensive studies on the History of Cradle and of the Red Territory.

Wants to be a Cradle Historian

Works for the Red Army as a personal assistant to the queen

UNINTENTIONAL

THEY ACTUALLY CANT STAND EACH OTHER

Unless....

Look their story is very dramatic and it hurts me every day so please stay tuned with them. 

CUT THROAT BITCH

YOUR DEVIL

DEMON

Heckles Jonah like its her job — she knows him better than anyone elsd, if anyone knows his bs, its her

Bad resting bitch face

Actually really shy, and quiet when in different surroundings

A sweetheart and will cut a bitch for you once she knows u

She is perhaps one of the most transparent, honest, genuine person. there is no bullshit with her. she will tell you her honest thoughts with you

Cerise Nam

Age: 19

Hair: Berry Pink

Eyes: Petal Pink

Height: 5′2

Any other qualities:

Her mom came to Cradle from a far off place, and set up a food and pastry shop in the Central Quarter. Met her dad. Been there since

They live in Black Territory

She works for her parents and works with the pastries/desserts

loves making desserts from where her parents are from

She knows the Queen of Hearts VERY well since she makes the best mille feuille

Got a job from him actually, and works for the Red Army Headquarters kitchen

Loves to cook and bake!

a little naïve, but she’s a realist

youngest of FIVE kids!!

Morning girl

She may be petite but she can HEAFT heavy bags of flour/rice/dry goods

Met Zero by accident, and crashed into him while in town

love at first sight for her. how can you fault her?

she thinks he’s dreamy... and sweet...

does she flirt with him a little? Cerise can’t help it...

She and Zero have more of a hidden relationship because she fears her parents won’t approve

family stuff -- and she understands

RED ARMY OFFICER?? BLACK TERRITORY GIRL

look im cheesy

dont worry it works out

zero has to consider himself and his own personal stuff too so its a little difficult 

Non Army Suitor(s)

Lucile Lidell

Age: 20

Hair: Straw blonde

Eyes: Aqua blue

Height: 5'1

Any other qualities:

She and her twin, Noelle, are the actual descendants of the original Alice

Inherited unusual hairpins that were from cradle

More of the 'modern woman stuck in the wrong time' kind of gal

Rebellious

Noelle and Luci: partners in crime

Short skirts galore

Does not give a singular shit of what MEN think of her

Wants to be taken seriously

Sometimes acts like an airhead in order to get attention. She's actually pretty somber as a person and prefers to be in the background as her sister takes the stage

loves her sister more than anyone else in the world

When she and Noelle fall into Cradle, they kind of hightail it and live in the woods with Harr and Loki

Sticks with Harr since he's literally the least threatening man ever

First man to feel safe around

"Excuse me he said NO pickles!"

Will cut a bitch for him, or use magic -- luci will hurt someone if they even think a bout looking at him wrong

Loves to make clothes

'I mended the holes in your cloak for you...' 'Bye Harr, be safe and have a good day.'

'Welcome home, I missed you.'

Puts up a tough girl front but she's just a big softie just like him

Doesn't realize she has a crush on him until shit starts to hit the fan

Actually very vanilla tbh but wants to spoil her bf

Ikemen Sengoku

Ito Tsunade

Age: 26

Hair: Straw Blonde

Eyes: Molten Gold

Height: 5′5

Any Other Qualities:

Graduate student at the same university as Sasuke 

got stuck in the storm with him and Mai, and was tossed into the sengoku era

but she got separated from Mai

Met Shingen first much to her luck because uh.... lets say Tsunade is aint the sharpest tool in the shed

HEAD EMPTY

ZERO THOUGHTS

AIRHEAD

her aesthetic when she gets there?

TITS OUT

BIG HONKERS BIG TATA

HOT

her head might be empty but her tits are fat and they will protect you

Music nerd — loves traditional Japanese instruments, especially the difficult ones

Specializes in girl metal in modern day

eventually proves herself and plays some sick chords for the takeda/uesegi forces

she has entertained them for now

puts sake away like a monster

when she meets sasuke, she finds comfort in the fact he’s also lost with her, so she clings

asks him how to protect herself from shingen bc he’s horny lolol

genuinely thinks sasuke is hilarious

also does NOT realize she’s in love with him until the gravest of grave happens

her name was UNINTENTIONAL

Aibana Hinata

Age: Presents in his early-mid twenties

Hair: Black Midnight

Eyes: Haunting gold and vermillion

Height: 5'3

Any other qualities: 

The concubine of Nobunaga

Please know I made him a long while before the other guy was dropped so I’m just gonna offer this little gay boy

Nobunaga bought him from a brothel after being so intrigued by him. Hina entertained him so well that he was set for life

A RIGHT SNARKY BASTARD

HE KNOWS HE’S PRETTY AND CAN GET AWAY WITH MURDER

Likes to challenge Nobunaga in battles of wits

board games

debate as pillow talk

swordplay if the lords will entertain him enough

Bisexual as hell

Gender? Don’t know her

He uses all pronouns

True pronoun: princess

ONLY EXISTS IN A UNIVERSE WHERE THERE IS MAI

Nobunaga/Mai/Hinata........

Unless.......

Smart, and educated

former geisha

he can read! and write!

LOVE FUCKING WITH HIDEYOSHI

if there is mai, he would bond with her like no one else

he would be her best friend

her confidant

genuinely adores her

even if she is pursuing nobunaga, he doesn’t resent her ... he just wishes that she would find room in her heart for him too

puts up a tough exterior

a softie.....

[penisbrigade]

aight fellas im here to discuss shit bc i just had family therapy and im starting to dislike my therapist

why tf is maturity and responsibility defined by people as submitting to authority? and that doesnt sound awful like maybe you’re thinking “homie are you on crack submitting to authority is normal thats how the world runs” and first of all people who are considered “lesser” submitting to authority shouldnt be the basis and backbone for how the world runs

regardless, what im talking about is children. children are seen as mature and responsible if they are quiet and obey without question. i was told that, to gain the use of a phone (i currently do not have one because my parents dont want to and im not responsible enough), i would need to be more responsible which, after the conversation progressed, i realized meant, not that i was to truly become responsible and take care of myself and have control over myself, but that i needed to obey my parents and not argue with them.

i hate to break it to ya my dudes but thats kinda the opposite of responsability

copying and pasting from the dictionary, responsibility is: “the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone. "a true leader takes responsibility for their team and helps them achieve goals”

the state or fact of being accountable or to blame for something. "the group has claimed responsibility for a string of murders"

the opportunity or ability to act independently and make decisions without authorization."we would expect individuals lower down the organization to take on more responsibility" 

a thing that one is required to do as part of a job, role, or legal obligation.plural noun: responsibilities"he will take over the responsibilities of overseas director"

moral obligation to behave correctly toward or in respect of.”

clearly theres the bit at the end that states “moral obligation to behave correctly toward or in respect of” although technically that would be classified under “a thing that one is required to do as part of a job...” but language is fluid and can change so we’ll address this without making the excuse that because people always classified it this way, it changed.

it says moral obligation which could mean either you’re morally obligated bc you f e e l this person deserves respect (i.e a manager, boss, or royalty) or bc either the law or the bible says so as in “the bible says you must obey your parents so you obey us without question” (i.e parents, royalty, government, etc) 

it also says “behave correctly toward or in respect of” and now besties is where it gets a little harder bc like theres so many possible ways you could define this. take it whatever way you will but my definition of respect (based on its dictionary definition and also by inferring bc like i said language is fluid the dictionary doesnt always define it as it is) its admiration of someone or regard for their opinion n shit therefore this still doesnt add up with “absolutely obey your parents and authority without question” so

now again you might be thinking “homie whatever you’re snorting, you need to put down. you just said language is fluid while you argue about the definition of a word” and yes thats true but the issue is not that people are not following the words to their exact definition. the issue is that they are avoiding words that suit the situiation in favor of others that do not because the ones that would truly fit the situation have bad connotations.

words such as “controlling”, “over protective”, “paranoid” and even government words like “authoritarian” and such could be used in situations like this (these are very dramatic words and shouldnt be used flippantly, i warn you, but they shouldnt be locked up in cages to only ridicule the worst when they fit well in situations that arent so extreme) but people refrain from doing so bc they’re seen as bad. and obviously theres a reason they have bad connotations and that reason is because they’re bad. 

this is probably a bit controversial or whatever because like who wants to go around calling parents “controlling” when you’re simply having a therpeutic conversation with them? its because these are considered big bad extreme words and we cant use them because “thats not what they are they’re trying their best” like bestie i see that maybe they are trying but that doesnt mean they are not controlling or paranoid. 

its very close relating to how people wont use the word “abusive” unless the child is legitimately constantly in life threatening danger (this may seem extreme but i know many people who talk this way)

regardless of a n y of this, responsibility and maturity should not be seen as submitting to authority when, as we’ve seen, responsiblity is the exact opposite and maturity is quite close beside it

thank you

[plasmavamp]

[cracks knuckles, breaks hands]

aight fam here’s the official catch-up post to whatthefuck lolita’s been up to in the sims 4 (and continuing from where i left off in my DU posts lol)

featuring Nasier, Caleb and Morgyn ~

[ nasier belongs to my bestie, Mav @mavesathesimblr​ !! ]

caleb and nas actually started dating early on in college ! nothing crazy happened uwu that yall know of lol, but yeah. spent 4 years as dorm roommates. around year 4 morgyn came to visit caleb a couple of times and hung out with the boys ^^ Nas and Caleb stayed in-dorm for the last winterfest (and other holidays) of college. caleb graduated a bit before nas did lol

the boys moved to strangerville shortly after graduation!! caleb lowkey isnt a fan of the neighbors but he knows how they get lol. morgyn moved in with them not too long afterwards ^^ 

(third pic is an edit i might post late btw)

morgyn was in a kinda-relationship with caleb before he went to college, btw. kinda meaning they knew each other and and might have had feelings. well, with the feelings still present and the three of them having some type of chemistry, it was agreed for the three of them to date together ^^ Caleb hasn’t decided how he feels about drinking human blood but, he’s trying lol. His plasma trees are bountiful but Nas is being a good bf and just wants to help his bro out. Also, Lilith came to beat up Caleb for ignoring her texts and calls and invites all the damn time (she lowkey harassed him but she just wanted to check on him lol)

Caleb’s been leveling up his vampire abilities basically; he’s already a grandmaster but he still had shit to learn tbh. Morgyn developed a garden in the back and decided it was a good idea to have a cowplant. The cowplant was adorable (but it ate morgyn and nas twice lol). Also, Morgyn and Nas got closer and decided to become boyfriends as well rather than sharing Caleb uwu ~

speaking of trying human blood out, Morgyn started volunteering to help Caleb out with that. Turns out he temporarily borrows their magic lol.

the boys have jobs btw! Nasier is a marine biologist (using his college degree for good use), Caleb went into acting, and Morgyn is a scientist! (still cant believe Caleb’s very first acting gig [shown] was him being Mario. Its funny bc Caleb’s italian lol, but the gig was the vlad straud handyman gig lmao)

caleb’s early acting gigs were lowkey lame but my favorites were the handyman and pirate gigs tbh o: but here’s a few of his early parts lol. (He started straightening his hair again by the time he was in the apocalyptic movie!)

they also adopted some pets! Tod is a fox, Sparky is the cat—you can see more of Sparky here c: He’s Morgyn’s familiar hehe. [casually inserts “Fox & the Hound” ref for Tod and Nas lol]

Morgyn literally is best friends with the damn aliens. These pics are 3 different occasions, and they got abducted six times so far u.u thankfully morgyn is unable to bring any aliens back with them fjhgjhff

Nasier had leveled up to 10 in his career already and basically was making bank at this point. Caleb won his first award for the apocalypse movie!! and Morgyn was hard at work and building all of the things o:

After winning his award, Caleb hit career level 10 as an actor and had his acting skill leveled up as well, so he stepped away and went into the medical career (thanks to Mav for the suggestion lmfao). Before starting his new job, the boys went on vacation to Granite Falls. Caleb was moody one day, it thunderstormed the next day (caleb and nas got spooked but morgyn deadass stayed outside to watch the weather). Overall they had fun hehe.

some time had past, caleb and morgyn bumped up in their careers (while Nas just chills out with his job but uses some of his vacay time to stay home lol).

When Caleb and Morgyn had a few days off together, Nas used his vacay time and spent the days with them...and in those days, the three decided to get married. The three visited in three different places and collectively proposed; Nas asked Morgyn in Sulani; Nas asked Caleb on Sixam when Morgyn had finally built the wormhole generator; and Caleb asked Morgyn in the realm ♥

After having 3 beautiful weddings with their close friends and family as the guests, they are honeymooning in Selvadorada—and that’s where I’m at in my game now c:

I have a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of pictures from this save oml. Most of them are taken with some flare and reshade, some are just screenshots of dumbassery, some are posed with ship aesthetics, some are [ahem] taken with ww lol. But overall, I have spent a solid in-game year in this save 👀👀👀 and i’m nowhere near finished with it hehe. Caleb, Morgyn and Nas have had quite an adventure of bs that I’ve mentioned and PLENTY more that i didn’t wanna ramble on about, but they’ve got a whole life of marriage and more for them :] and I’m excited.

I’m sorry that I keep forgetting to like, actually post shit lol, and I’m sorry this is a halfass attempt to catch everyone up. Only my friends know what’s all been happening through screenshot spam and streaming lol. But it’s been fun. 

I’m gonna go play some more, but I wanted to finally sit and share what’s been up with my game since putting Bloodborn on a hiatus lol. I’ll probably post more once the boys are out of their honeymoon phase uwu ~ 

[painfog]

Hey so I saw you mention top surgery and was curious. I was supposed to be having top surgery this summer but that’s postponed. I was curious how that went with chronic pain? I’m scared about the surgical binder with my fibro and back pain. Any advice or info would be greatly appreciated!! (You can answer privately if you prefer)

ive actually been meaning to write up a big post on this pretty much since i had top surgery but still haven't got around to it yet so I'm happy to talk about it lol. ill go over stuff now n still aim to do a more in depth post later when im on my laptop (but writing this now bc i tend to forget everything haha). ill stick to the more fibro / chronic illness specific stuff & stuff i wasnt expecting rather than rehashing everything. apologies im on mobile so i cant put this under a cut

firstly, im sorry ur surgery got postponed! i know that must be gutting, so i hope it gets rescheduled asap & the time until then passes easily for u ❤️

I had double incision with free nipple grafts on the 4th of september 2019 with Mr Miles Berry at the london wellbeck hospital. i think he did an amazing job and can't recommend him enough for his work! i think the last pics i took of my chest were for tdov, and ill rb them after i post this for reference. i didnt have drains at any point of the surgery

for ppl with fibro, i was told that the pain after surgery either tends to trigger a flareup, or be really easily manageable, and it's hard to predict which it will be beforehand. its best to prepare for a flareup and be pleasently surprised if u dont get one. for me, i had a flareup that sucked but wasnt too bad as far as flareups go

you'll probably get given painkillers. take them regularly. it's easier to treat pain preemptively. if u don't get given them (no idea how it works outside of the uk) id say def get codine and paracetamol. u can't take ibuprofen for a while

i woke up from aneasthetic freezing cold + in a lot of pain. apparently most ppl dont need the full dose of morphine, but i did. after that it was a bit better. i was just So Goddamn Hungry literally it's all i was talking about

that night in hospital was probably one of the most uncomfortable in my life. you have to sleep sitting up for like blood reasons, so my back pain was quite bad bc of it. moving around a bit and adjusting pillows helped. if u have anything that normally helps ur back pain bring it with u to the hospital, & dont be afraid to ask the nurses for help with it (even if they can just adjust ur pillows for u). i couldnt rly sleep much but distraction helps. bring ur phone + headphones. i did a few ask memes when i couldnt sleep

the first week from surgery was rly tough, the first few days especially. this was bc i still had to sleep elevated for a few days and i couldnt get comfortable. i was too exhausted to do anything but couldn't sleep and it rly started to get me down. then i got some sleeping tablets (just nytol) and that helped so much. i literally cannot recommend it enough bc the not sleeping properly made everything hard (and like esp because with fibro the whole pain/fatigue/depression cycle is so real). once i started sleeping better recovery became a lot easier, and the tablets made the awkward sleeping positions more manageable. if i had to give only one bit of advice this would be it

on that note, ik everyone says this but do get a V pillow. it helps u adjust to sleeping on ur back and if u sleep on ur side normally it means u can like lean slightly sideways on it which makes it sm easier. also this isn't even top related but they make good back pillows when ur watching stuff in bed even now

get urself some video games (if ur into them) and easy entertainment shows lined up for when u wanna have them. recovering from major surgery makes ur fatigue even more pronounced so ur not going to be able to do all that much, but having light entertainment ready to go stops u getting as bored. its also a good excuse to finally play/watch the things you've been meaning to for a while

go outside when u can. if u have a garden just walk around it. it helps with a lot of stuff, and idk about u but i always forget how much it does. even just helping u sleep better if u get trapped in a fibro fatigued-but-can't-sleep cycle. and it goes so far helping u feel human in the first week

the first week is rly hard for a lot of ppl - its frustrating to have all that pain and exhaustion and not being able to wash or change the binder, and with the swelling and bandages under the binder it doesn't really feel like there's much change, which all sort of adds together. i keep going on about this week bc it helps to mentally prepare for it - there's no need to dread it, you just need to remind urself how worth it itll all be and that the rest of recovery is a lot better than the first part, and in time it won't have seemed that bad. big picture stuff

when u get the chest reveal, everything's better. i didnt stop smiling. and when u put the post op binder on afterwards, without all the bandaging, u like feel for the first time how much flatter u are??? and its amazing. even with the swelling. and then u get to shower and u feel human again and its great. (ik some ppl have their post ops/chest reveals much earlier than a week, but 5 days to a week is pretty standard in the uk. mine was 6 days i think)

more post op binder stuff: i got given 2. the first one i woke up in after the surgery and wasn't allowed to take off until my post op, and the second one i got given at my post op to change into after i showered. After that i alternated every few days. whatever u get given, if u get less than 2 i recommend getting another one so u can alternate them (if u want help sourcing them hmu. ive also still got mine i need to give away)

the post op binders were actually a lot easier to wear full time than normal binders. they were like more stretchy, and stretchy the full way round (bc they dont have the compression bit at the front). i used to sleep in my normal binder every time i slept with my ex, and that hurt like a motherfuck sometimes. the post op binder was much kinder to my ribs

i had to wear the post op binder full time, taking it off like once a day to shower n let my chest breathe (and massage my scars once i started that). some surgeons arent that strict abt wearing it that long, but it really helps swelling, & bc i didnt have drains it was rly important to stop fluid buildup. ik quite a few guys in my trans groups who stopped wearing their binder fairly early and then got quite a lot of swelling so i didn't want to risk it & i wore it for the full 6 weeks. at some point (icr when but maybe at 6 weeks? bc my post op was at 8 weeks bc he was on holiday) i didnt wear it during the day and only wore it at night

all in all the binder didnt bother me that much. it was more comfortable than my regular binders and i just kinda got on with it. it was annoying tho and i was glad when i could stop wearing it. for me the most annoying part was that it was a full length binder (i always wore half length before) and the riding up at the hips was rly irritating. i actually quite liked sleeping with it tho it was a pretty nice pressure stim ahah

some post op binders r more comfortable than others. if u have to buy ur own, i rly suggest going with a proper surgical one (they arent too hard to find second hand for free or cheap, again im happy to help here) bc they're kinder to chronic pain. i know that having a comfortable post op binder made it all a lot easier for me. there are also lots of alternatives w lots of price ranges tho, so that's not ur only option

ok i think thats everything right now! sorry its so long, but let me know if u have any questions!!

finally: before i got top ppl told me that its honestly life changing, and i didnt realise how true that would be. literally every single aspect of my life is at least partially better because of it, and most of them drastically so. I'm really excited for you to get that for yourself, and im wishing u all the best for it 💕

[radicalposture]

Hey, so were you diagnosed with autism/adhd as an adult? If you don't mind me asking, was that difficult to achieve? I'm 25, and I've often thought I might have adhd, but I've held off on looking into it because I hear it's extremely difficult and expensive to get it tested and diagnosed as an adult.

yes I only got diagnosed last october, I was 25 then too! it was kind of a weird journey for me, all of my siblings and my dad got diagnosed with autism or adhd one after the other and I was still saying “but I can’t really be autistic/adhd” right up until I actually got diagnosed lol. but since then my whole life suddenly makes sense for the first time and I really think things are gonna be ok! this applies to autism/adhd/other neurodiverse stuff but autism and adhd is what I know, but I hope it applies broadly as well

so unfortunately yes, it can be pretty expensive to get through the whole process. depends on where you live of course, I live in Ireland so even though we do have public healthcare I would probably have been on a waiting list for upwards of two years to see a terrible psychologist who didn’t know anything about adhd/autism so I went to a private psychologist. I already knew her pretty well bc my siblings had been to her and I knew she knew what she was talking about and I felt comfortable with her. seeing her cost me around €900 which is definitely a lot, different psychologists have different rates but the price can go up depending on what tests u get done. the more tests you do the more expensive it will be as a general rule (at the same time I saw a different psychologist who had a lower flat rate so idk what the “rules” are about this tbh) I got a standard assessment as well as autism and adhd tests which is why it was so expensive. it used up pretty much all my savings lmao but after getting a diagnosis I was able to apply for disability allowance (which was a hellish process) and I got rejected and had to appeal the decision but I got it in the end, which is fortunate bc I quit my job lol.

recently I wanted to look into medication so I had to go to a psychiatrist because you can’t get a prescription for stimulant medication from a gp in most countries I think? BUT he’d only see me if I got rediagnosed by his psychologist, so that was another €300 for each of them. I did get prescribed ritalin in the end but I’ll have to get the prescription refilled a few times a year bc it’s a restricted medication, which will mean paying €100 ish for each time I do. fortunately I don’t actually have to pay for the medication itself bc I have a medical card.

so yes, it can be expensive! all told it’s cost me almost €2000 to get it all sorted and will keep costing me maybe €300 a year from now on, so it’s definitely something you have to budget for. especially depending on where you live, I imagine things are v different from country to country. also I’m very fortunate bc I still live with my family so I’m free of some financial pressure and I’d been saving for it for a while but I know how hard it is to countenance paying out that kind of money, and wondering whether it’s worth it.

as to whether it’s difficult to achieve I think you’ve got to break it down because official diagnosis is only part of it. so if you think you do have ADHD I’d look at it from a couple of different angles:

1. self acceptance/understanding is absolutely the most important thing. I know people who’ve never been to a psych who know they’re autistic/adhd and really flourish, I also know people who have official diagnoses but who won’t accept it themselves and reject help/support and they’re making things so hard for themselves. so the most important thing is to educate yourself about what adhd means and, more importantly, what it means for you. everyone’s brain is different and understanding exactly how your brain works and why you think/behave the way you do is the most important thing you can do. there are a lot of resources out there, especially online, - I’ll put a link to a google drive of books and things I have at the bottom - and it can be good to connect with others online as well. having people who Get It and can help you is really paramount, I know often our irl families/friends can sometimes let us down so sometimes the only support you can get is from following ppl on twitter or something. the adhd subreddit is weirdly helpful and supportive, it’s great to be able to throw out a question like “I think like this am I insane y/n” and have other people go “nah ur fine” it’s very validating (also validation/external perspectives is super important for adhd bc we can be extremely bad at self assessment). so yes, the most important thing is firstly to know thyself by 1) educating yourself and 2) listening/connecting with others like u.

2. is it important to have an “official” diagnosis? no and yes. obviously you don’t need a diagnosis from a doctor to know what you are, and 70% of the things needed to help you flourish are going to come from your own research and the support systems you make. and if you cant afford or access a psychologist or psychiatrist it doesn’t make it any less real or bar you from educating yourself/accessing resources etc. HOWEVER. if you can get a good diagnosis then I really would go for it, bc: 1) it opens a LOT of doors to official resources, whether that’s access to welfare, supports and accommodations at school or college, medication, etc etc. a lot of the time the supports we need are behind this diagnostic paywall, which sucks but it is what it is :/ so that’s one consideration. 2) it can be really validating and help set your mind at ease about whether you “really” have adhd or if you’re “faking”. like I said I didn’t believe that I was “allowed” to be autistic before I got diagnosed. I also didn’t consider that I might have adhd, I went in thinking I’d just get the autism diagnosis so it wasn’t something I would have found out on my own probably. so it can be good to get an outside opinion, especially as, like I said, we can be really bad at self assessment. 3) it feels good to know you have a piece of paper to throw at rude family members/teachers/doctors who don’t believe it’s real 4) if you can find a good psychiatrist/psychologist it can be such a good thing to have that support and to get genuinely good advice from a professional you trust. doesn’t always happen but if u can find one it’s a godsend

wow this got long. to summarise, if you think you have adhd or anything else I would

research and educate yourself. for adhd probably the best thing to do is read driven to distraction and delivered from distraction, written by two psychiatrists who are adhd themselves. they’re both in this google drive along with loads of other resources I’ve collected, there’s also books about autism as well. as a disclaimer not everything/everyone here has my 100% endorsement some of it is there for academic/historical interest or only parts are helpful but by and large it’s useful. also watch this video and feel Seen

look for a good psychologist/psychiatrist if you’re going for a diagnosis. see if there’s an adhd organisation in your country/area and if they can recommend anyone. a lot of the time you’re better going to a child/educational psychologist who’ll see adult clients as they tend to Get It more. do look for someone who is clear about having experience in adult adhd bc unfortunately even qualified psychologists get a LOT wrong so make sure you get someone who knows what they’re doing before you give them your money

yes it can be really expensive. but if you’re needing to access things like medication or welfare I think it’s well worth the trouble and the money. my sister got diagnosed in her second year of college and was able to save her degree bc of extensions on projects and things like that (I didn’t get diagnosed until after college and spent four years torturing myself I WISH I had known) and it can be something that’s better done sooner rather than later. So if it’s something you can do without putting yourself in financial danger I think it’s good to bite the bullet and go for it. like I used up basically all my savings BUT I now can access disability payments and medication so it was worth it for me. it’ll be different for everyone so use your judgement obviously

anyway hope this helped! let me know if you need anything else! and good luck on your journey

[xhuliotm]

。· . ˙ ☀   ⌈   tommy   martinez +   cis   male   +   he   /   him   +   the   firestarter   ⌋   yo   ,   have   you   meet   that   KOOK   ,   𝐱𝐡𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐨   𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬   ,   yet   ?   —   no   ?   well   ,   to   give   you   a   little   heads   up   before   you   do   ,   they’re   a   TWENTY-THREE   year   old,   SOCIALITE   AND   BUSINESS   STUDENT      and   have   been   coming   to   coston   for   FIVE   YEARS   .   since   i’ve   known   them   ,   they’ve   reminded   me   of   𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠   𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬   𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡   𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬   𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧   𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥   𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬   ,   𝐟𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠   𝐚   𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞   𝐨𝐟   𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭   𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐝   𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬   ,   𝐭𝐨𝐨   -   𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐦   𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬   ,   𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬   𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜   𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫   ,   𝐚𝐧   𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐝   𝐨𝐛𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧   𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡   𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫   𝐚𝐧𝐝   𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬  .   usually   they’re   quite   𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑛𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑐   &   𝑓𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑑𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠    but   just   make   sure   you   keep   an   eye   out   for   them   around   town   because   i   heard   can   be   quite   𝑚𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑛   &   𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠   as   well   so   here’s   hoping   they   aren’t   the   ones   to   undo   this   whole   peace   pact   they   have   going   on   this   summer   .   but   just   between   you   &   me   ,   i   kinda   hope   it   all   falls   apart   .   the   rivalry   keeps   this   whole   boring   town   interesting   .

xhulio   is   the   result   of   both   parents’   third   marriage   and   is   the   youngest   in   a   legacy   of   five   children   with   nearly   a   10   year   age   gap   between   him   and   his   next   sibling   .   both   parents   being   immigrants   from   venezuela   ,   his   mom   built   a   hotel   empire   and   his   dad   was   an   ambassador   for   the   US   to   south   america   .   their   marriage   lasted   a   total   of   maybe   10   minutes   and   ended   before   xhulio   could   even   remember   .

his   parents   both   went   through   a   minimum   of   two   more   spouses   before   he   hit   middle   school   with   no   intention   to   slow   down   .   raised   by   nannies   and   seeing   his   birthgivers   on   the   odd   time   here   and   there   ,   his   childhood   was   the   typical   to   be   filled   with   material   goods   to   make   up   for   a   lack   of   parental   presence   —   and   to   be   honest   ,   xhulio   didn’t   mind   it   .   as   a   fiend   for   attention   however   he   could   get   it   ,   coming   to   school   with   the   newest   designer   coats   or   most   exclusive   video   game   system   made   him   something   of   a   god   among   his   peers   ,   a   sensation   that   became   buried   deep   into   the   recesses   of   his   mind   and   emotions   as   a   sensation   he   favors   .

a   perpetual   case   of   favorite   child   syndrome   ,   his   father   in   particular   noted   the   unbridled   potential   in   his   son   .   intelligent   ,   charming   ,   and   somewhat   of   a   bully   ,   he   saw   xhulio’s   aggression   as   a   tenacity   that   would   make   him   successful   in   his   life’s   approaches   beyond   belief   .   he   taught   his   son   how   to   use   his   charm   to   his   advantage   and   be   less   outright   forceful   about   his   engagements   ,   using   manipulation   rather   than   brute   force   to   make   his   way   into   whatever   he   wanted   ,   a   skill   the   boy   capitalizes   on   .

his   mother   babies   him   to   no   end   and   makes   him   a   brand   ambassador   for   her   company   ,   having   him   join   her   on   retreats   to   mingle   with   the   children   of   other   investors   .   xhulio   ,   dangerously   well   -   versed   in   how   to   get   what   he   wants   out   of   people   ,   makes   easy   work   of   flipping   each   of   them   to   bend   to   his   very   whim   .   living   the   life   of   a   socialite   ,   in   all   its   glitz   and   glam   ,   is   something   he   thrives   off   of   .   his   father   begins   to   try   and   one   up   his   mother   ,   bringing   him   along   to   government   functions   and   allowing   him   to   brush   elbows   with   senators   and   congresspeople   alike   .   luxury   on   his   mind   ,   xhulio   goes   for   an   ivy   league   business   education   that   makes   the   most   of   his   talents   .

his   mother   buys   out   a   small   hotel   property   in   this   beachy   town   called   the   coston   resort   and   brings   xhulio   along   over   summers   to   oversee   the   renovations   .   enjoying   the   terror   he   can   enact   in   the   town   with   little   to   no   consequence   brought   upon   him   ,   he   comes   back   along   every   summer   to   see   what   more   buttons   he’s   able   to   press   .   finding   the   divide   between   the   pogues   and   the   kooks   has   been   perhaps   one   of   his   favorite   pastimes   to   exploit   ,   seeing   no   reason   to   seek   peace   when   he’s   already   so   entertained   by   the   prospect   of   only   widening   this   riff   .   this   ends   in   an   even   greater   conflict   ,   when   he   gets   into   a   fistfight   last   summer   that   leaves   him   with   a   vendetta   against   the   pogues   that   he   thinks   rather   plague   the   area   .

he   is   one   of   those   obnoxious   smirky   boys   who   is   genuinely   convinced   he’s   a   blessing   to   the   earth   he   walks   on   .   an   entitled   af   childhood   will   do   that   to   you   :/   genuinely   is   of   the   mindset   that   the   world   is   his   and   other   people   just   habitate   it   with   him   .

well   aware   of   how   others   feel   but   just   cant   be   bothered   to   give   a   shit   about   literally   anyone   else   !   is   appallingly   self   -   interested   and   expresses   near   -   disgust   to   be   associated   with   any   form   of   expressed   sensitivity   or   insecurity   .   truly   believes   he   is   a   mini   god   on   earth   .

probably   just   genuinely   doesn’t   feel   sensitive   or   insecure   bc   he’s   never   been   taught   how   to   !   kwjehrwer

manipulative   as   hell   and   will   exploit   everything   around   him   to   get   where   he   wants   to   be   .   he’s   meticulous   about   how   he’s   percieved   and   doesn’t   like   being   seen   as   weak   or   disorganized   .   he’s   obsessive   about   upholding   his   reputation   and   holds   power   and   status   as   two   v   important   qualities   to   him   .   he’s   pretentious   as   all   hell   and   rather   spoiled   so   has   rarely   had   to   work   a   day   in   his   life   .

drips   w   sauce   and   we   hate   him   for   it   !

he   likes   material   goods   and   enjoys   his   lifestyle   less   because   of   the   actual   topics   but   more   so   because   he   gets   to   socialize   while   being   treated   like   luxury   .   his   lowkey   dream   would   be   a   job   where   he   doesnt   actually   do   anything   and   still   gets   2   live   like   a   prince   aka   trophy   husband   but   his   parents   are   too   up   his   ass   giving   him   opportunities   for   him   to   squander   them

likes   2   instigate   shit   for   fun   :/   genuinely   has   nothing   better   to   do

if   for   whatever   reason   u   can   get   past   the   whole   crazy   heartless   psychopath   thing   ,   his   pretentiousness   and   his   drive   mean   he’s   incredibly   straightforward   about   his   desires   and   pursues   what   he   wants   without   second   guessing   himself   .   he’s   generous   and   giving   when   the   mood   strikes   and   isn’t   above   showering   a   romantic   interest   with   lavish   gifts   and   non   stop   attention   even   if   they   show   0   interest   at   first   .   he’s   not   very   trustworthy   but   can   surprisingly   be   reliable   in   a   pinch   —   usually   just   when   it   benefits   him   best   tbh   .

inspired   by   klaus   mikaelson   from   vampire   diaries   and   mark   sloane   from   greys   !   talented   dancer   n   will   take   any   opportunity   to   show   it   ,   likes   2   make   people   intentionally   uncomfortable   bc   its   funny   to   him   ,   has   an   encyclopedic   knowledge   of   old   film   ,   loves   any   excuse   to   throw   a   huge   party   at   the   clubhouse   !

[bluesfm]

(  park  chaeyoung  ,  twenty two  ,  &  cisfemale  )  who  ?  these  days  ,  it’s  all  about    blue hyong,  who  comes  from    los  angeles  &  ca    and  is  making  headlines  as  a    singer    .    she   currently  has  a  fan  count  of  42k    ,  no  thanks  to  the  rumors  of  them  being  inflexible  !  but  ,  on  the  other  hand  ,  their  most  devout  fans  say  they’re  actually    imaginative    .  last  i  heard  ,  they  caused  quite  a  buzz  when    she   publicly   dissed    her  new   record    label  and   the   misogynistic  treatment   she  was   receiving   from   their  reps  !  it’s  no  wonder  they  remind  me  of    long   rants   in  the  notes  app   being  posted   to  her   twitter  account  ,  empty  bottles   of  wine  laying  at   recording   studios’   floors   &  notebooks   upon  notebooks   filled  with   lyrics   she  might   never  use   but   refuses   to   let   go  of   .  

well hello human friends !! n also hello to the non human friends too , wassup . i’m angie a  dumb  noodle  from  the  middle  of  the  south  american  jungle  , and i’m here to introduce yall to this mess i call blue  who’s  a muse i have had  for yrs now n carry w/ me wherever i go , with some minimal changes but she’s still the  same  messy  bitch  on the  inside  don’t  worry  folks !  so   i  will   provide  u w/  some  background  info  on   her  n  some   possible connections  under   the  cut . issa  lil messy  but  we’ve   been  away  for  a while   pls  bear  w me

blue  is  the  only  daughter  to  a  couple   of  south  korean  immigrants  that  came  to   america  when  they  were  in  their  very  early  20s  n  already  expecting  blue  in  order  to  chase  the  american  dream  n  create  a  better  life  for  themselves  n  their  family  .  their  life  was  pretty  hard  for  a  big  part  of  blue’s  childhood  ,  while  they  were  both  studying  n  working  odd  jobs  to  pay  for  their  education  all  the while  taking  care  of  a child .  so  blue  didnt  have  the  best  childhood  ,  not  that  her parents  were  bad  or  anything  they  just  didnt  have  time  for  her  . nowadays  ,  they  are  a  lot  more  comfortable  in  life  ,  since  her  dad  became  a  lawyer  n  her  mom  is  a  nurse  ,  but  they  definitely  didnt  have  an  easy  beginning  .

ok  so  maybe  bc  they  werent  present  durant  most  of  her  childhood  they  didnt  notice  a  lol  of  signs  that  might  have  made  things  a  lot  easier  for  them  ,  bc  by  the  time  they  were  available  to  emotionally  be  there  , during  her  early  teenage  years ,  blue  was  already  kinda  a  mess . she  had  grown  up  w  very  lil  structure  n  refused  the  rules  they  tried  to  instill  on  her  n  was  already  used  to  doing  things  her  own  way  .  that  lead  to  a  lot  of  conflict  between  them  ,  since  they  expected  her  to  study  hard  n  do  well  for  herself  in  a  nine to fiver  when  she  was  already  sure  art  was  the  only  way  to  go  n  while  she  did  ok  ,  she  definitely  wasn’t  as  good  as  her parents  expected  her  to  be .

so  ...  u  know   her  teenage  yrs  were  basic  girl  angsty  she  fought  a  lot  w  her  parents  n  rebelled  frequently  n  ran  away  from  home  like  ...  weekly  ,  but  she  never  rly  had  any  real  hardships  .  life  was  reasonably  good  but  she  always  had  something  to  complain  abt  ...  just  as  she  liked

[  MENTAL  ILLNESS  TW  ]

but  then  she  reached  her  late  teens    they  all  realized  there  was  something  going  on  other   than  the  usual  teenage  angst  she  displayed  all the time  when  she  had  her  first  manic  episode  .   her  parents  thought  it was  a  “  blue  thing  “  at  first  bc  she  was  usually  a  very  impulsive  person  n  she  rly  didn’t  have  a  habit  of  thinking  before  acting  on  her  impulses  ,   but  her  mom  quickly  noticed  the  signs  of  a  manic  episode  when  she  realized  how  aggitated  n   restless  she  was  , specially  when  blue  described  an   hallucination  she  seemed  to  be  having  .   they  took  her  to  a  psychiatrist  ,  she  was  admitted  to  a  hospital  n  diagnosed  w  type 1  bipolar  disorder  n  very  quickly  medicated .  while  the  medication  brought  her  out  of  her  episode  ,  n  she  was  allowed  to  go  home  after  her  mood  seemed  to stabilize  ,   blue  also  noticed  it  stunted  her  severely  emotionally  n  decided  (  against  medical  n  parental  advice  [  pls  dont  do  it  fam  !!  take  ur  meds  ]  )  to  quit  her  medication  ,  falling  into  her  first  major  depressive  episode  a  few  weeks  afterwards  . n  for  abt  four  years  she’s  been  living  w  her  disorder  ,  n  she  doesn’t  medicate  at  all  .  she’s  super  open  abt  her struggles  n  she  has  a  Lot  of  them  ,  specially  w  how  much  drugs  n  alcohol  she  consumes  .   i  never  said  she  was  smart  yall  .

[  END  OF  TW  ]

ok  so  as  u  probably  assume  ,   blue  is  an  emotional  mess  .  she  has  a   very  chaotic  personality  ,  n  most  of it  isnt  even  from  her  illness or  anything  she  just  is  a  very  chaotic  person  in  general  ?  she  is   one  of  those  artsy  ppl  who  forgets  to  wash  her  own  clothes  so  she  ends  up  wearing  the  same  dress for  like  ,  3 days .  she’s  super  outspoken  n  outgoing  n  rly easy  at  making  friends  if  u  can  get  past  the  dumbass energy  she  exudes 24/7  ?  but  yes  just  a  very  outgoing  person  n  a  outright  mess  most  of  the  time  .  she  is  also  soooo stubborn  u  will  never  get  her  to  change  her  mind  abt  smth  she  believes  to  be  right  about  in  any  way  .  u  just  cant  .  she  loves  a  good  time  n  loves  partying  n  is  the  lack  of  impulse  Queen  soo if  u  got  any  bad  ideas  she  is  the  one   u  should  go  for  if  u  need  any  company  .  also .... so dramatic  .  she  makes  a  big  deal  of  everything  n  has  0  apologies  abt  that  .  just  catch  her  crying  over  high  school  musical  3  or  smth  like  that  .

but  yea  on  the  bad  side  tho  ,  blue  takes  up  n  gives  up  on  projects  so  easily  n  she  can  be  super  fickle  abt  things  in  general  .  like  ,  she  will  defend  an  idea  for  7  hours  but  2  days  later  she’s  already  onto  smth  else  n  doesnt  even  remember  being  so  obsessive  abt  that  other  thing  ?  a  mess .  is  also  Quite  abrasive  ?  if  she  thinks  ur  acting  dumb  shes  not  gonna  be  scared  to  call u  out  on  it  .  can  also  have a  Reaally  explosive  temper  .  not  usually  but  specially  during  manic  episodes  she  can  be  quite  easy  to  annoy  ngl  .  is  very  unreliable  ,  especially  if ur not  too  close  ..  tbh  that  is  something  connected  to  her  disorder  .  when  she’s  on  a  manic  episode  ,  she  will be  too busy  planning  things  she  will  never  get  around  to  doing  or  painting  her  entire  house  or  spending  3  days  awake  n  drunk  writing  17  songs  by  herself  .  n  during  her  depression  is  very  hard  to  get  her  to  do  anything  n  even  if  she  feels  terrible  , she  rly  cant be  an  available  friend  .

in  regards  to  her  sexuality  ,  she’s  an  open  bisexual  and   also  is  a  crazy  romantic  n  falls  so  hard  for  literally  no  reason .  but  like  ...  doesnt  have  the  healthiest  mentality  for  relationships  ?  not  like  in  a  toxic  way  but  she  will usually  give  145%  of  herself  at  all times  n  honestly  believes  all  of  the  ppl  she  falls  for  are  the one (1)  just  wants  to  make  things  work  no  matter  what  .  she’s  v  impulsive  w/  meeting  n  falling  for  ppl  tho  so  things  dont  rly  end  up  working  n  she  always  ends  up  heartbroken  over it  .  Well  .  At least she’s  trying  right  ?

in regards  to  her  career  n  art  , she’s  posted  youtube  covers  n  original  songs  for  a  couple  years  and  gathered a  decent  following  ?  she  wasnt  huge  or  anything  but  she  did  get  a  record  deal  w  an  actual  big  label  out  of  it  a  few  months  ago  .  blue  was  pretty  happy  abt  it  but  then  when  the  recording  process  started  she  realized  they  werent  treating  her  as she  thought  she  deserved  at  all  ?  which  resulted  on her  taking  her  thoughts  to  some  reps  of  the  label  n  when  she  didn’t  feel  any  difference  in  the  way  she  was  being  treated  she  took  it  to  the public  ?  which  definitely  caused  quite a  sitr  bc  she  wasn’t  a  huge  name  but  she  was  big  enough  ?  so  now  she’s  in  some  considerable  trouble  w  her  label  but  Also  more  famous  than  ever  so  they  are  choosing  not  to  bury  her  for  now  ?  she’s  in  some  definite  trouble  though  so  it’ll  be  fun  to  see  what  happens  next  n  what  her  moves  will be  ?  spoiler  alert :  it’ll prob  be  smth  dumb.

i  still have  so  much  to  say  but  i’m  so lazy  wow .  dont  start  ur  intros  so  close  to opening  time  folks  thats  my  tip  as  an  old  internet  auntie  .  OK SO  ONTO  SOME  CONNECTIONS  NOW  

some label  mates  who  she  may  or  may  not  get  along  with  ?

hookups !!  she  prob  has  a  few  she  regrets  too   bc  who  doesnt  am i  right

best  friends !!  ppl  who  actually  support  her  n  she  loves  w  no restrictions  just  love  all  around  friends

exes </3  not  gonna  lie  i  have  some  sad  ideas  abt  this  one

good  influence  bc  blue  is  a  mess she  needs  one  of  those  pls  someone  slap  her  head  n  make  her  drink  some  water

a  fling  she  has  feelings  for  but  may  not  be  requited  ...  i  like  my  romantic  connections  to  be  angsty  did yall  notice

artistic  soulmate  !!  someone  her  artistic  bitch  side  just  vibes  with  ?  could  be  a  songwriter  or  singer or  anything  tbh

some   indecisive  romantic   shit where blue rly  knows  sh’s  too messy  n  this  person  is too amazing ?  but  they still  have  feels  so   ... now  what ?

this is  p  mcuh  it ??  it  has  taken so long  to  finish  this  i  hate  myself  but  HEY  if  u  like  blue  or  dislike  her  u  should  hit  me  up  so  we  can  come  up  w  some  plot  ideas  ?  i wish  i  had  a  quirky  goodbye  idea  but  my  brain  has  just  quit  working  guys  so  u  get  nothing  from  me  other than  a  good  old  fashioned goodbye  thanks  for ur  attention  i  love u