#but i cant help but to want something thag just. works.

[sixfeetumber]

dear That One Guy at the Computer Repair Shop in Big City in my state. you don't know how bad you fucked up my computer.

like. your shoddy job 3 years ago is still causing irreparable problems. i thought id be able to take this high quality (and quite pricey) computer with me to college and now it's barely holding itself together.

[yizhou-time]

(46) ATEEZ FIC RECS

🍓 fluff | 🌀 angst | 💥 nsfw | 🎧 personal favourite

if any links don’t work or the wrong writers have been tagged please let me know!

ATEEZ/MULTIPLE

Want You Back | @whimsicalwritingsandmore 🍓🌀

opposites attract w/ matz | @beenbaanbuun 🍓💥🎧

↳ are you ready to get so hooked on something you’ll read every story connected to it and simply sit there waiting for series updates?

Addams!ATEEZ | @fruithoughts 🍓💥

HONGJOONG

Less Than Three | @kbandtrash 🍓

Runaway | @lilacmingi 🍓🌀

To Make An Album | @bambikisss 🍓💥

Never Alone | @iwannasuckyourmonstercock 🌀

Hopefully | @idyllic-ghost 🍓

↳ my hongjoong roman empire and it’s just made up leave me alone

SEONGHWA

The Way to His Heart | @edenesth 🍓🌀🎧

↳ again not a series reader in the slightest but this one is so well done you never know what’s happening next and then you get grown through a loop in the best way possible

let’s not fall in love, again | @baekhvuns 🍓🌀💥🎧

↳ HOW THE AUTHOR CAME UP WITH THIS IS BEYOND ME BUT I REREAD THIS ALL THE TIME I LOVE IT I CANT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE IT JUST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ IT

no title | @mymoodwriting 🍓🌀💥

bodyguard | @baekhvuns 🍓🌀💥

↳ this became my personality for a solid month after its release

cat named mars | @hwaightme 🍓

checkmate | @atinystraynstay 🍓🌀

the lamb and the wolf | @seonghwaddict 🍓💥

YUNHO

Guerilla | @sorryimananti-romantic 🍓🌀💥

opposites attract | @tainsan 🍓🌀💥

↳ another one that became my personality for a solid month after release

what builds a home | @cosmicdumpling 🍓💥 (only a little!)

PILLAGED | @lilacmingi 🍓 (a little 🌀)

something to give each other | @sungbeam 🍓🎧

↳ read this at 5:34am and it changed my life i’m not kidding

Promise | @sorryimananti-romantic 🍓💥 (only a little!)

↳ did my life just change? yes! this authors fics always change my life but this was something else!

entombed | @ghstzzn 💥 (and kinda 🍓) 🎧

YEOSANG

no title | @ateezmakemeweep 🍓🌀

RETURN TO ME | @thewonandonly 🌀💥🎧

↳ this is the the best yeosang fic on this app like i can’t explain any of it like this is one i strongly suggest you read (this is a threat, read the goddamn fic) and that fucking ending i’m literally i can’t it takes everything in me to not spoil it every time i recommend it but i’m telling you you have to read this you know that feeling you get when your heart wrenches and you physically feel it? you get that the whole time with this

for the hope of it all | @starrysvn 🌀🎧

↳ not gonna lie thought about killing myself after reading this 😭😭😭 /j

SAN

The Art of Climbing the Corporate Ladder | @ennysbookstore 🍓🌀💥🎧

↳ another one i can’t explain you have to read this for yourself because you think you know and then no you fucking don’t and then you get really mad and then really sad and then you’re like oh no and then y/n saves it and then san says stuff JUST READ IT

Ceilings [PART 2] | @yoongiseesawmp3 🍓🌀💥

↳ FINALLY THIS GODDAMN TROPE DONE RIGHT LIKE GAG EM THANK YOU GUYS THIS IS SUCH A GOOD READ AND IT DOESNT MOVE FAST LIKE THE OTHER FICS THAT DO THIS TROPE PLEASE

seasons out of time | @nonclassyparty 🍓🌀💥🎧🎧🎧

↳ this is the most soul crushing, heart wrenching, bone shattering piece of media you will ever read like i can’t genuinely put into words how much this fic means to me on like a level like i can’t even describe it help it is one of those fics thag you have to read for yourself and you’ll understand because just when your hopes are up theyre down when they’re down they’re up again in some strange way part two is in the works so i’m preparing for my heart to get stamped on by the author and part 1 is like for me genuinely the absolute best fics on this app so I can’t wait

Reassuring Words and Mellow Touches | @hongjoongsart 🍓🌀

↳ you know when you like feel smth in your gut and you don’t know what, this is what this does to you I swear

a broken routine | @vampzity 🍓🍓🍓🍓🎧

MINGI

Goodbye Summer | @shocymer 🌀🌀🌀

↳ i did cry when i finished this

nightmare, daydream | @mingigoo 🍓💥

One New Message | @hwaightme 🌀

Home | @lovepookie 🍓🍓🍓

WOOYOUNG

Home for the Holidays | @highvern 🍓🌀💥

Say You Love Me Too | @crazyformfics 🍓

change of heart | @hotteoki 🍓

place in me | @starrysvn 🍓🌀🎧

↳ this is my wooyoung roman empire and it didn’t even happen irl

If Without You | @sorryimananti-romantic 🍓🌀

JONGHO

so lovely | @deathbyyeekies 🍓🍓🍓🍓 🎧🎧🎧

↳ i kid you not reading this changed my life like genuinely i’m a changed person now

killin me softly | @deathbyyeekies 🍓

glasses w/ jongho | @beenbaanbuun 🍓

zemblanity | @in-san-ity 🍓🌀💥🎧

↳ it’s so nice watching tropes finally being done right like you don’t even understand how badly i needed this

20:15pm | @xuchiya 🍓

the fear still lingers | @03jyh23 🌀🌀🌀🌀🎧🎧🎧

↳ TOOK EVERYTHING IN ME NOT TO THROW MYSELF OFF A BRIDGE AFTER READING THIS IF YOU’RE WANTING FUCKING INCREDIBLE ANGST READ THIS SHIT AND YOU’LL PHYSICALLY FEEL YOUR HEARTBREAK LIKE MINE DID

[lexithwrites]

What’s some James Potter head cannons THAG you have?

Also hope ur having a good day!!!

thank you lovie! hope you've had a good day too! i love james potter ugh my darling boy okay:

i know people hate him as a himbo but idc, i love himbo james. he's still smart, but to me he's more socially smart, like he knows how to flirt and he's great at making friends, gaining peoples trust, building their confidence etc, but academically he's kinda average, if he studies more he does a lot better. plus that man is a JOCK he just wants to play sport all day

he's a romantic through and through he'll buy flowers, take notes on EVERYTHING that his partner likes, their favourite music, favourite food etc. and i love james being a good cook too, his parents taught him well, so he's a party host too

i feel like he's a dog and a cat person, i think he just loves animals in general

he's also such a fucking nerd to me he loves star wars, spiderman, dnd, he'll know random sport facts and everything about the team he supports and he has random movie posters on his wall

speaking of dnd my man is a human fighter player until he one day randomly plays like a tiefling sorcerer and starts to branch out with his characters lmao

he also loooooves lego, it helps with his adhd and gives him something productive to do

muggle au james is a graphic designer to me, or some sort of sports coach at a school, he suits the aesthetic

james was the first of his friends to drive, then sirius, then peter and remus doesnt drive lmao

he has the best relationship with his parents

he's an early morning runner, he'll go on a run before work, get a coffee and some breakfast then come home and shower and sit in his office doing design work before taking a break and seeing sirius, remus and peter for lunch at whatever cafe they love going to

he loves ABBA so much dude omg

he's a gym and protein shake guy and his instagram is filled with random aesthetic videos of his day going to do his workouts then making a healthy dinner and sirius teases him in the comments but always likes them and shares them

if he played a musical instrument i feel like he could be a drummer or a guitarist, i also have a lil headcanon that he cant sing lmao he's just slightly out of tune

he's the friend that even when he gets drunk he's making sure everyone is okay and having fun and staying safe and he'll always get them food and water if its available

he gives his friends lifts and refuses to take petrol money, he'll drive them anywhere if he's free

he LOVES the beach my man is a summer lover and he wants to sunbathe and swim and play volleyball on the sand every day, winter is like his sleepy, hibernation period

his favourite flower is a sunflower

he has broken so many glasses over the years omg and he hates touching his eyes so he never gets contacts either

[luffycd]

law one piece fankid i started brain storming a days ago also im high and caffeinated rn so im having Word Vomit

not sorry for the upcoming infodump

so im thinking like the crew for some reason is on an island where Something is happening (them or otherwise) to a research facility, and while leaving law finds a little mink kid just like scared n sittin there. kids just clutching a messed up baby blankie tight and is clearly young and things r goin bad so law grabs the kid and runs

on the beach he sets the kid on some rocks and like kid needs some medical care but the kids terrified so they gotta calm them down (also to know what the story is) so law asks the kid whats their name and theh just. shake their head 'no' law blinks and moves on asking how old they are, they look at their little paw (cuz remember mink- idk what kind yet) and holds up a three- wha woh! three year old scared hurt baby mink who so far hasnt spoken. this child has issues and its been a few minutes

he asks if the kid has parents (thinking already the kid is from a bad story) and they shake their head again then law asks if their hurt kid nods and points to a hurt leg. again kids scared law asks can i look? and with approval holds out a hand and scans the kid- they think its cool while law sees oh shit! kids malnourished and has a big cut on theit leg thats been their a moment.

law already so far in (and realizing things r still too crazy to sit on the beach) gets the kid into the sub and after the kid falls asleep him and the crew talk. so they got a scared and jumpy 3yr old who was injured and clearly not taken care of, who said 'no' to 'what is your name', found outside a scary place, and also while fixing the kids leg law found a number on their ankle. obvs crew wants to help cuz like holy shit thatd a baby their pirates not monsters

since the kids are mink they decide to call friends on zou if they might know anything and also check the island once things calm down some more (also imagine this a few years after canon, theyve got a new sub n r just kinda exploring rn)

everything comes back negative and also after waking up its clear the kid has imprinted Hard onto law already. the kid wont let anyone but law hold them or rly touch tjem, gets scared fast if he isnt near by (esp in a medical setting which worry!), probs more but they just want their guy around them yk.

so! they keep the kid but they gotta name them (which im shifting to using he for the kid from now on) whole crew gets in on naming the kid like . they have a baby this is so cool!! (they have a not so silent agreement that law is the kids dad and everyone is aunt and uncle, they dont mention it around law until he agrees that yea thats his kid)

i keep wanting to name the kid Tofu or Tuna or smthin which is so funny cuz i kimda want them to be a leopard (cuz kitty....) but also idk ima use tofu for this post.

they also realize fast b4 they even decide to keep tofu thag he cant talk- he can hear just fine hes simply mute, so law starts to teach him and the crew basic signs so they get to play less charades with the kid.

theres not much space in laws cabin for a toddler so they try getting tofu to room with someone else- kid ends up taking penguins bunk at night (it's important to note in how i see the heart pirates working shachi and penguin r both first mate and the crews spilt into day and night shifts as to have a full working crew 24/7, law is awake for various portions of both shifts but shachi and penguin each get one so theres a senior officer always awake)

but! tofu is scared and wants his safe adult and learns rly quick how to climb out of bed and out of the room, but then he gets lost in the sub and just starts crying- after a crewmate finds him crying and walks him to law for the third time they decide to do something aboht it.

they put colorful arrows from shachi and penguins bunk to laws cabin and to the bathroom, they add more eventually as tofu learns how to read signs. but for the start theres easy colorful arrows. and with tofu walking around and exploring (as he gets more comfortable with the crew) they gotta put up some baby gates towards the engines and whatever the steering room is (memory!) so the kid doesnt do anything dangerous.

law also carries tofu around a lot, having a not 100% healthy tiny kid makes him think of both him living with cora and also his sister to an extent, the fact tofu is mute makes him think even more about cora. so he latches onto how safe he felt with cora carrying him and carries tofu a lot and lets the kid climb onto him even more

so in my mind strawhats r still with them n they meet up sometimes (u can interpret this as eventually law x a strawhat but ive gotten too distracted thinking up heart pirates raise a kid to have a shipper mind set just yet) and the strawhats love tofu like omg tiny child i love you you r a celeb but tofu is also still scared of people

(also insert scenes of both crews talking about the kid- shachi and usopp working on more little arrows, franky and ikkaku mentioning keeping the kid away from the engines, cilone and sanji plotting out little plates of baby food for him- just little interactions of the crews being close yk yk)

eventually tofu gets more comfy with them (especially chopper usopp and luffy- their just so fun!) and law goes from being rly protective of the kid to realizing... if their just playing on the sunny then the strawhats r perfectly capable of keeping a toddler safe.

BUT! this is where PLOT !! so this is like a few months after getting tofu and him and the strawhats sillies r running around the sunny, the hearts new sub (idk a name for her) is docked right next to sunny. law is relaxing against bepo kinda napping and theeeen BOOM! theres a gun shot and thr sound of a baby crying- law shoots up and sees todu sitting on the ground his blankie not in his hands (didnt mention but that blankie is comfort object ever, does not ever let jt go) and tofu is holding his ears

most of the ppl on the sunny try and find the gunshot but law bolts over to tofu and sees blood inder one of his lil paws over his ear and just sees red like- holy shit his baby is hurt someones gonna die today

he scans tofu while mumbling comfort like 'shh i got you sweet heart your okay its okay' and thankfully its just his ear is nicked and its nothing lethal. choppers flitting around them paniced and law just looks up and like clearly Pissed tells chopper "its nothing lethal, im sending you two to the infirmary" and thats all the warning b4 law shambles the two of them down there (to keep them safe from what is starting as a full fight as more shots land on the sunny)

law finally looks up at whats happening, theres more a ship in front of them some fucker laughing and more shots landing, law tunes in and the guy is laughing specifically about shooting the kid

so idk the exact logistics of a fight so eventually law gets on the other guys ship and is holding the main guy up all threatening, guy tells him soemthing something about the kid and the lab on that island and that leads to law raiding the inside of the ship for info- the ships like starting to sink midway thro this cuz like both crews are Royally pissed at these guys.

when law gets back to the sunny he hands the papers he got to robin tells her "they were after tofu this should be details on that" before beelining directly to the infirmary. he like knows tofu is scared and needs comfort so he just sits on the bed and pulls tofu onto his lap while telling chopper to check on everyone else or smthin idk

idk what else to go from here, i just know theres spme plot with 'a lab wants to study [soemthing] on human and fishmen and mink kids to see the difference but they dont want this out there so they wanna get the kid who ran away back' or smthin idk

ANYWAY BASICS : law gets a lil kid whos a mink and he figures out parenting by mimicking what he remembers of his parents and sister and cora and what made him and his sister happy. also cutsey moments of mainly the heart pirates learning how to raise a kid but also the strawhats and maaaybe kid pirates im still deciding

also i think theyd try and stay at like zou or wano for a little while when they get the chance just to give the kid some stability, and im leaning towards them to continue sailing just with taking a break for a few months every year OR! like fully settling down far into the grandline setting up a lil safe spot for pirates who need medical aid or like any support ig (ive seen someone have that of the hearts setting up a safe place n i rly loved it <3 but i physically can't remember how to find it again rn)

ok im making myself shut up because i need to eat dinner and also everything im on is wearing off and im startin to crash a bit lmao!

[lordmushroomkat]

hi sorry to place a mild rant here i just cant do journaling to myself. So i got diagnosed with pcos and i just got birth control to take. And i dont know how to feel about it. Im genderqueer but not ready to come out and like E was the only option they gave me and since im a teen i didnt know, still dont know, how, if, when i can tell these people that i dont think this is what i want. Im writing this right before im supposed to take my first pill and im scared. Scared i will hate it and will have to live with that because i just cant come out. But im also scared it will make me feel better. Do as my mom says and make me less tired, less cranky. Im scared that when she says that she is doing this because its the best for my health, that she is scientfically right. And my dr even mentioned how i didnt seem to care about anything they were talkin about (pills-side effects, “benefits”) but like after the fact i realized that i could have said that i didnt care because all that she wasnt going to improve my life in any fucking meaningful way. Like body hair? Love it. Or well i would like to remove some not all of it, and not feel like in removing like stomach hair that i was agreeing that i was a women or that hair is disgusting. Because i would remove hair for myself ya know. Not for the preconcieved idea of who i am and how i should look. And acne? If i cared id actually put my acne cream on. Fertility? Dont want children, and they talked about unwanted random fertility but im ace and sex repulsed. Beyond the first visit they didnt even mention cancer. Ive been telling myself im going to take these pills to prevent cancer in uterine lining. And im scared to look up how true thag is. I mean on how e decreases these helath risks. Im scared theyre right. Im scared their wrong. I will fucking riot if they are lying because that means this is for nothing. Im scared it wont give me gender dysphoria, scared i will have dysphoria because it wull peel layers off the dissasosiation i face. and before all this i was planning on making my mom a presentation about intersex people and gender. Because shes supportive just a littl confused and not radical, im radical because grief has made me angry and i want to let her in on it ig. But i dont think i can do that anymore. Because i would have pointed myself out as intersex. Imply she could be too if she liked the label. But im scared that her being cis, and having struggled with weight and eating when she was a teen (and that pcos effects weight) would mean she would hate the idea. Would call me wrong or cite drs. She told me to shave under my arms once, for the convience when traveling light on vacation so that deodorant worked better?? And hours after she said it i realized if i existed for ease i would crase to exist. But im worried whats a good ease for her would be a killer for me. Idk anymore. i guess any advice? But that will probably be to come out and i dont think i can do that. any research or resources that proves im allowed to be angry? I think im just looking for people to tell me im normal for feeling this way. Having a bad day. Thanks for any.. help? Hope this wasnt triggering or anything, i just saw that you were nonbinary with pcos too- and yea. Okay bye

I really don't know if I'm the right person to answer this. I was already out as non-binary for years before I got my PCOS diagnosis. When they said "take these pills" I asked about the other options and they gave me none so I simply refused to take the pills. But I'm like,,, I don't super care about the negative affects of PCOS. I'm casually suicidal all the time and I'll keep living for my family but if something kills me I'm pretty alright with it. I don't really expect to live much longer than like, a handful of decades and like honestly the world is on fire so it'll probably be shorter. So like, my perspective on this is not necessarily a super healthy one? I'm fairly apathetic about my own existence.

But like, I understand your struggle here with wanting to explain the PCOS=intersex connection to your mom but knowing she'll respond poorly because she also has PCOS.

I really don't have any solid advice here. Just... I guess, consider really carefully how you want to feel in your body. If you've been enjoying the superficial changes the PCOS has done to your body with this weird little second puberty, maybe you should consider advocating for yourself a little more firmly about it. Your future health is important but so is your current comfort in your body.

[honeyflies05]

ITS TIME FOR MY 6x13 THOUGHTS BUCKLE UP PEOPLE!!

WE SURVIVED

WE DID IT!!!

that looks fun wtf

i wanna join that cycling class

I am char char is me

what is gonna happen with the water bottle

yo he good?

apparently not

if my thighs poison me just let me die

WHY IS BUCK BACK TO WORK??? LET MY BOY REST!!!!

Jesus they’re all goin💀

“did he just do math?? in his head??” CHIM-

SCREAMING

ANGELA BASSET WOOOOOOOOO

DAMN SHE RAN CROSS COUNTRY?? makes sense

denny missed the bus💀💀

denny and chim connection?? didn’t know I needed it

CHRIS ASKING HIM MATH WUESTIONS DJCIDHSHW I CALLED IT

BUCKS HANDS WITH THE POWER OF ELECTRICITY ANFJCUSBA

ESP DIFUDHSHSHAHAHA

buck and chris relationship >>

that IS a classic origin story

“HE COULD GIVE ME THE ANSWERS TO MY MATH HOMEWORK” THATS LJTERALLY ON MY BINGO CARD AKFICHDHS

MADDY BACK TO WORK MADDY BACK TO WORK MADDY BACK TO WORK!!!!!

that looks like a pioneer woman dish🤨

poor maddy💀💀

okay we’re back

I DO THIS WITH MY PARENTS ALL THE TIME AKDICHSA

…that house is green

WHO WAS IN THEIR HOUSE????

“you and law enforcement” NSIDHDHSHA

BUCK HAVING A CROWD AROUND HIM AND GETTING MONEY FOR HIS MATH DJCIDUDBWNWJEUW

HIM COUNTING THE MONEY SKFUDJDISBWA I CANT

she’s gonna have an asthma attack aint she

i too want a haircut without my mom’s permission

he seems like a creep💀

i don’t want him to do my hair

NOW GIRL-

WHY WOULD YOU THROW A BLOWTORCH

ALLERGIC TO WATER???

JESUS THE SCISSORS

the dead nebulizer stare AKDJFJDJS

WHERES DENNY

DENNY

…husband???

OH DENNY’S DAD

I GOT A MED EXPRESS AD DURINF THE BREAK ANDIHFHS

denny’s gonna get his ass BEAT

no Karen’s right

no bc see now I’m torn

athena going full police is so,,,,

they’re gonna station someone outside hUH

BUDDIE BUDDIE BUDDIE BUDDIE

RED AND BLUE COLOR THEORY

I’ve seen this part before

why does Eddie walk in here like he does this every Saturday night??💀

THREE MINUTES AND SEVENTEEN SECONDS!!!!!!!

I’m gonna be honest how tf do you play poker

MEHTA IS TRYING SO HARD SKFUUDS

HES GONNA GET CALLED OUT

“maths not his thing” YEAH! ITS NOT!

EDDIE LOOKS CONCERNED

“imagine that” SHE IS SO,,

PLAYBOY BUCKLEY!!!!!

EDDIE IS ONLY ARM CANDY!!!!!!!!!!

BUCK IS GONNA WIPE THEM OUT OH MY GODDDD

WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK

HE JUST LOOKS TO EDDIE

STEAKS???? S T E A K S ? ?

she noticed.

oh so my guy was FR HURT??

no fr why didn’t his dad come to them?? HES THE ADULT.

okay can we agree the looks eddie was giving buck we’re NOT straight

OMG HENS MOM?????

i want denny’s mushroom shirt #imgay

hen’s mom being the mediator and voice of reason is so,,, ♥️💜♥️💜💗💜💕💜

denny had good intentions but also he’s like 12 so

what’s she got stuck up her asshole.

A VIBRATOR??

BUCK AND EDDIE QUESTIONING HIM??

HER BLADDER???

his math ain’t helping💀💀💀

EDDIE YELLING AT HIM FOR THINKING AB HIS PAST RELATIONSHIPS THAGS HOW IM TAKING KT

hen knows how much that must hurt

NOTHING PREPARED ME FOR THAT CALL

buck was DEF on the phone with that girl he fucked in the firetruck

hen and chim bestieism

MADDIE WHY WOULD YOU INVITE HER IN

oh she SNEAKY

ATHENA!!!!!!

oh she wants a LETTER

WHY SHE TAKIN ALL THEIR MAIL????

THENA!!!!💜💜

okay but WHY does she want the mail

coupons💀💀💀

woooohoooo back to prison!!

buck would DEF use jeeyun for money skdichdhsha

my mom says aisha and hen’s mom’s actress are biologically related

hen’s mom is speaking truths with letting denny see his dad BUT telling his moms he’s doing it too and letting them regulate it like ADULTS

“like I got hit by a car” oh so he GOT JOKES???

YOURE AN ADULT??? YOU SHOULDVE SAID SOMETHING.

them being ADULTS and creating ground rules!!!!!

Karen and hen being amazing mothers once again god they stay winning

CHRIS AND BUCK!!!

chris is his sous chef!!!

COOKIES

America not using the metric system has its downfalls once again

“you know what a porterhouse is???”

“Buck.. I’m from texas” THAT HAD THE SAME ENUNCIATION AS “buck you don’t even have a couch!”

I LOVE ANGELA BASSET

that’s the same room Buck was in😭😭😭

henren fans were FED tonight (me)

ARE WE GONNA SEE BUCK FIGHT HIS WAY THROUGH A CROWD BECAUSE IM READY

i can’t wait until I leave for college and my roommate has to deal with me and my 911 brain

[lualewis]

I actually opened those (mornid curiosity) and.... oh my god. People who don't usually open links like this (hello my people!) I've got some fun to share with you and this is only highlights before actually going through everything.

My guy. Writing ANYTHING can and will make you a better writer. Fanfic authors are still sharpening skills, just not always world or character building. And even then, you can take known characters and completely change them and the world, which means they are still working on those skills. Doing ANY writing will make you better, even when you're using a world used somewhere else.

Buddy what the fuck. I don't know what else to say to that but I'm gonna try. YA as a genre is neat and I'll sometimes read it still, and there can be a lot of amazing critique in there. The "Uglies" series is still one of the most in your face depictions of beauty standards taken to a dystopian extreme that I have ever seen. It is so blatant that as far as I can tell, it cannot be adapted to movie or TV at this point in time. Maybe in the future but not right now.

YA doesn't tackle every topic, and doesn't always tackle what it does very well. But the same can be said about any genre. YA isn't targeted at adults, but the overarching themes of identity and standing in the way of corruption is something that can interest adults. It can also be a bridge into new adult series, some authors have a YA series that leads into an adult series. Sherrilyn Kenyon comes to mind, when I was a teenager I knew my mother had some of the Dark Hunterverse, and she bought my sibling the YA spinoff "Chronicles of Nick".

Same for cartoons. First off, not every animated show is for kids but with the phrasing I'm going to assume that's what they mean. Just like YA novels, cartoons can have deeper themes that cross ages, even if the target audience is a specific age.

Brains aren't rotting because people are only looking at basic things. I'd make the argument that changes in engagement that starts at the studio level has more to do with that, but thats a different post.

This last one is a big one and split on two images.

"Low effort reward cycle" what? Just because you want to revisit characters doesn't mean reading fanfic is low effort. On top of that, the chemical release that comes with reading these stories happens with pretty much everything that you read and enjoy. Finding something that creates a similar feeling is not a bad thing, nor is it "low effort." Especially when people use that as a jumping point and find things that make them feel the same and introduce a new level of complexity.

People that stay up reading fanfic all night are not inherently doing it because all they've read is low effort whatever and they're looking for that same chemical mix. Using myself as an example, I've stayed up reading all night because I have insomnia, anxiety, and depression. The stories don't always help, I will vary wildly between sweet fluff and intensity meant to make you cry (there was an aftereffects of Narnia story I read once thag was incredible and intense and did make me cry. If I ever find it again, I'm rereading it and recommending it to everyone who enjoys that kind of whump), sometimes with violence and sometimes without. Reading is a safe way to explore intensity and unsafe situations, even things that in real life would be abhorrent.

On top of that, diving into another story doesn't make you savor the previous any less. Even when I'm reading properly published books, I will always find something new within a day. It's not because I don't savor the story, I savor everything I read (I love going over high and low points later, and remember most details EXCEPT THE FUCKING TITLES SO I CANT FIND THINGS AGAIN), but because I want more to savor. I want to see different takes on the same tropes, and new twists on those, and how something familiar becomes something new.

I've mentioned it before but this is apparently an essay now and I am absolutely going to talk about it again: fanfiction does not mean you never build the world or characters. As a specific example, around 10 years ago I read a fanfic about Harry Potter characters after Hogwarts and the author added a bit about all new Ministry of Magic departments needing to have a name that made a single word when you made an acronym of it. I've read Scooby Doo fanfic that requires a whole new mystery, with new clues ans motives. The author absolutely reused the Scooby gang, but had to come up with that specific "episodes" story, setting, monster, clues, and motives from the ground up.

Fanfiction is also not the first time in history that stories are posted chapter by chapter and have this different structure. "The Three Musketeers" was originally printed in parts in a newspaper form the time. When you sit and read the whole thing, at times you can tell. Dumas does amazing at keeping it consistent, but there are reintroductions thay wouldn't have been necessary if it wasn't published in parts. I believe the original Beauty and the Beast story was as well, but I am less sure on that one. Someone correct me if I'm wrong. I'm talking the La Belle et la Bette version for clarity. One singular overarching line is common, but not the only format and I think that it's awesome that fanzines and now sites like ao3 keep this format alive. Although I admit I usually read completed stories, I do have quite a few that I wait for new chapters regularly.

Your point about fanfiction making stories not end is complete bs. Every story ends, and the next story is not a continuation or replacement. It's a new story, with new interpretations and themes, even if it is in the same fandom. The following assumption that fanfic readers can't read harder books is also bs. I know so many people who read both, regularly, and will give high points of both. As I said, fanfic has a specific format that hits people differently but that doesn't make it "low effort" like you seem to think. Some is, sure, but you can say the same about anything.

There was more in the post, but I thought everyone would enjoy these "high" points.

Behold: Terfs having Nuclear Waster-Tier pretentious and circlejerking takes of fanfiction/fancontent 🤷🗿

https://www.tumblr.com/salt-cedar/712864295544848384/just-so-you-know-you-have-some-followers-who

https://www.tumblr.com/salt-cedar/712962603254710272/my-answer-to-the-original-post-pissed-off-a-lot-of

.

[coffeeman777]

I don't mean this hatefully I haye when people get pissed in random peoples inboxes if I do that sorry feel free to ignore it's early I havent slept much and I'm being a penis but how do you worship a God who allows children to be raped and doesn't help them no matter how hard they pray? It's probably irrational on my part and I know that but when I see Christians talk about how great God is I get so angry because it's like you're praising the guy who stood there for years and let that happen to me. Like you might as well preach about what a fantastic guy my rapist is, they're one and the same to me. I'm just so sick if you people going on and on about how great he is when he hates there est of us like don't you see how lucky you are? Dont yoou see that the rest of us aren't lucky enough to have gods love? All the explanations Christians have for why those things happen (and I have heard them all) don't mean anything to me. They don't excuse what happened or fix anything because ultimately it all boils down to the fact that God could have helped and he didn't and yet I'm the one who's supposed to ask him for forgiveness instead of the other way around. I don't understand how you all can stomach it, like, is it something you have to work through in your religion? Does it come naturally to you to trust god? Don't you ever hate him? How does anyone walk into a church and not be filled with rage and terror? Does he just love you guys more than the rest of us and that's why you can make peace with him? Like oh because he loves YOU because he's good to YOU he must really be a good guy? Like fuck the rest of us right? That's the whole point of the bible is soem if us matter and some of us don't and since youre one if the people that matter you get to live your life thinking that god really is as loving and wodnerful and perfect as he says he is because he saved you while he lets the rest of us rot. I don't understand how you can look at God and not see what a monster he is, how do Christians live every single day of their lives worshipping someone like that knowing that he's abandoned the rest of us? Don't you feel guilty? Knowing he only picked.you becsbe he was in the right mood for it and now you're sooo special while the rest of us just suffer and die and he never loves us? He doesn't deserve praise. He left me behind. He's proven to me that he hates me he hates me so much and he doesn't care and yet I'm supposed to just set that alllll aside and fall madly deeply in love with him and spend the rest of my life going on and on and never shutting the fuck up about how incredible and amazing he is and there's always some stupid piece of garbage christian wisdom to explain away all the horrible cruel evil things he does knowing the whole time that there are little kids out there begging him for help while he stands there and laughs and doesn't do a single thing. I hate him and I .miserable and I don't understand why Christians can't hae the decency to see how evil he is. And he even made suicide a sin so now I cant even kill myself which for the record is so rich thag god never loved me and he csn't even let me kill myself without going to hell for jt how can you love him knowing th rest of us get to go to hell because he hates us so much

Heya. I understand your frustrations and questions. I'm not offended at your message, there's no need to apologize. I know you've already heard a lot of answers to the questions you ask, so I'm not sure if anything I have to say will help you. But I'll give it a shot.

I'm so sorry that you went through what you went through. No one should ever have to experience anything like that, much less children. I want you to know that I really can understand how you feel. I was molested as a kid. It's a terrible thing, and I want you to know that I'm not making light of it.

God hates evil, with a passion. He hates every act of sin and wickedness. He despises it. So why does it exist? Why do evil things happen, if God hates evil, and God has the power to stop each evil act before it occurs? Well, it happens because humans have freedom. We have free will. In order for us to be what God made humans to be, in order for any love to be possible, we must have the capacity for free choice. That means that some will choose poorly and abuse the freedom God gave us, which is evil.

And no evil act escapes God's notice; each evildoer will suffer for his evil deeds, God will see to it. God gave us His commands, which, if followed, would prevent all human evil from happening. The Lord is always working in and around us to influence humans toward Himself. When a person ignores God's influence and rejects His commands, evil results. We should therefore place the blame for the evil at the feet of the evildoer, rather than at the feet of God.

The world is twisted up and corrupted by sin. The Lord has told us to expect hard times. Many Christians around the world are dirt poor, are abused and mistreated, exploited, robbed, or killed by the people around them. This is exactly what we're told to expect. God is with us in the midst of it all, however, eventually turning all the hard stuff we go through into blessings for us, as He promised. Christians are able to endure and trust God through all of it because of our experience of God with us, and His promises about the future. We know what eternity will bring, and we keep our minds and hearts fixed on it. Some day, Jesus will return to Earth and destroy the wicked. He will establish His throne in Israel and rule the Earth for a thousand years, permitting no evil, and creating a genuine utopia where everyone is blessed, and no one suffers lack. And after that, God will make for us a new Heaven and new Earth where we will live with Him in boundless joy forever.

There's a purpose in our suffering, a method to the madness if you will. Our true life is in the next age, not in this present world. This fallen place is only the preliminary round. Once Jesus returns, the evils we've suffered will fade away. They're only temporary and will soon be gone for good.

It makes no sense to be mad at God once you think things through; God didn't cause the evil, and if the evildoers would obey God, the evil wouldn't occur. God will judge every evildoer justly, and each one will pay the price for what they've done. On top of that, God will help us through the pain, heal and restore us, and then use our circumstances to help bless, protect, and heal others. When you consider that God doesn't owe any of us anything, and that if He allowed all of us to just die, He would be entirely justified in doing so (because all of us are fallen in sin), every act of mercy on God's part is an absolutely unmerited blessing that demonstrates His genuine love. And speaking of love, God does love everyone. You, me, and everyone else. And God will save anyone. God will respond to anyone who comes to Him in humility and faith.

We don't know why God permits some things to happen, or why He doesn't intervene sometimes when we think He should. There's a very complex web of interconnected variables that we can't see, much less understand. Our perspective is extremely short-sighted. But God sees it all, and God understands. He has demonstrated His faithfulness a thousand times over. We can trust that He knows what He's doing. His end game is to produce a family, people made in His image, called by His name, who freely choose to love Him when they could have done otherwise. This world is the best of all possible worlds to produce that family, with the maximum number of people saved, and the minimum number of people lost.

God is not evil, in any sense. Satan and his angels are evil. Fallen humans are evil. But God is not, and never could be. Rather than blame God for your circumstances, it would be so much better for you to run towards God. He will receive you. He won't reject you. He'll embrace you and make you part of His family. He'll help you deal with your pain and rise above it. He'll give you peace of mind and heart, as well as the promise of eternity with Him and the rest of us. He'll help you to see how suicide wouldn't be a good choice at all, even if it weren't sinful.

Please consider it. Believe in Jesus and swear fealty to Him as King. Ask His pardon, and you'll have it. Turn from your sins and embrace the Lord's instruction. Find a good church and connect with other Christians. You won't regret it, I promise you.

I'll keep you in prayer, friend. Be blessed.

[thesoundofmadness]

That ninja dude you like so much? Randy?

Hehehe yes

I guess the biggest thing i love about Randy is his determination and confidence. He doesn't back down whenever someone calls him an idiot, instead he turns it into a good thing. Like "yeah! Im a dumbass and im proud of it!" He doesnt hesitate to do something stupid yet fun. Hes also very confident when it comes to the ninja. Like the kid doesnt hesitate to talk back to the nomicon when he KNOWS its wrong in the 30ztm episode. And i love his determination to get the job done. When he realizes his mistakes he does whatever he can to fix it. He accepts that he fucked up without beating himself up and fixes it. Also his loyalty to Howard is REALLY dope. I really love how when it comes down to the choice of the ninja or howard, its hardly even a question. They're admirable traits i wish i had

Uhbh probably how disproportionate his character design is. His legs are fuckin twigs

uhhhhh honestly every scene with h is 10/10 but if i had to pick one, probably the scene in winner takes ball how he chooses to stop Howard from falling into an endless pit over stopping juilan and then hes like "whats the point of havinf a world if my best bro isnt in it?" Romantic or not its just. Hhhhhhh you know?

Realistically, probably his relationship with Theresa. Like if you're gonna give your character a love interest, make it an actually believable ship ya know

Honestly i want leas focus on Randy in general. I know hes the main character of the show, but characters like Theresa and Bucky are just there because they have to be for the setting to work. They could have used s2 to develop finja more, but we got dumb plots about randy starting a fast food war. It wouldnt have been hard to make a few episodes about finja training randy ya know

6/7: it should be obvious the awnser for this is weinerham, both platonically and romantically. Howard is kinda the only like, friendship Randy has. And given nearly literally every other character is flat as a card board or is an enemy, theres really no other option for this. But tbh i like how randy and howard are both loyal as shit to each other and cant bring themselves to truly abandon the other in their time of need. Like yeah Howards a dick and definitely needs to back off at some points, but i suspect Randy has learned to at least tolorate it considering they've been friends since they were 3. They are the epitome of "dont go where i cant follow" and its *mwah*

RANDICON. FUCKING RANDICON. I CANNOT express how much i FUCKING hate this ship. like bro pushing aside the obvious fact that its a fucking book, its supposed to be his teacher. Personify it all you want, the nomicon is Randy's teacher. Its meant to teach him how the suit works and help him grow as a person. If you wanna ignore THAT FACT, it and randy are not equals on power. It can take away Randy's ninja powers at any given time ("abuse the power lose the power) and holds all the information on how to be a ninja. And it almost seems to be....controlling on how it tries to get Randy to ditch Howard multiple times and to get him to focus solely on his ninja duties. (30STM, "protect the balls at any cost" "a hero sacrifices all") and like, the whole getting angry when Randy doesnt understand a lesson at first glance seems.... yikes. Not to mention its centuries old and filled with the past experiences of previous ninjas and hes 14. Like bro there are other characters dont ship Randy with his fucking teacher.

Favorite hc hmmm.... honestly i really like my personal headcanon of him not mind wiping and continuing to help the ninja as an adult as a "im not letting someone else get hurt like i was" thing. Im just a sucker for characters like that and given how Randy doesnt like hurting people (Ninja-long) it seems fitting for him. Also having nightmares about the ninja thags a good pne too

[middle-class-trash]

Rise of the Titans liveblog!!!

that intro made me unexpectedly emotional

So if Blinky is narrating, he can't die, right? Right????

BRO THE SUBWAY SCENE!!!! We're getting right fuckin into it!!!

Steve, my son!!!

I wish Toby wasn't a constant punchline 🙃 it just makes me not take his character seriously

CLAIRE!!!!!!

Something about Douxie decking Skrael at the first opportunity is just so sexy of him

Jim is incredibly brave but it's really reckless to go hand-to-hand with a demigod without proper armor

My heart goes BUMBUMBUMBUM when Douxie looks out the traincar window

Sexy traincar tracks spell WHO

THE WRECKAGE AWWWW

Oh my gosh the people stuck in the magic circle because they wouldnt get out of the way

NO NO NO DOUXIE NO

So they were arrested that early?? Jeez

Nari's such a cutie

"None of us will be talking to you" *cut to Toby spilling every bean*

TOBY'S FACE AT THE END HAHHAHAHA

Something about Nari's voice coming out of Douxie's body is so deeply odd

Oh hey, Krel to the rescue

AREA 49 HAKSHDKSKD

"And your mom."

Oh my gosh he's still broken from Wizards 😂

The Guardians are just dead set on pissing off local authorities huh

JIM!!!

STRICKLER?????

BARBARAAAAA

Stricklake supremacy 😌 they both look so good

Claire listening in 😭😭😭 she's so cute

AWWWWW ENGAGED ENGAGED ENGAGED

......does that give them death flags? Fuck. Fuuuuck fuck fuck fuck. It totally does.

AWWW DOUXIE!NARI HUGGING ARCHIE

Aja!!!!

Your majesty!!

Oh yikes, here's that running gag everyone was talking about.. pregnant Steve

Oh hey, Eli's hot now. We been knew 😂

"Mazel tov!" HAHA

Poor Jim needing a bunch of support to walk 🥺 he's such a trooper

I will simply pass away if Blinky dies

I hope Douxie is okay, we haven't seen him in Nari's body and that makes me ✨nervous✨

OH JKJK

Nari is so goddamn pretty

"Only your presence, not your commitment" is such a rapey saying

"Abra-cadabra, buttsnacks" I love that he still says that 🥺🥺 he loves his friends so much

"Do your worst" *cue both Douxie and Nari absolutely screaming in pain*

Krohnisfere? Alrighty then, that's the first mission

"I wouldn't be so sure of that" AWWW

They fixed the amulet???? DUUUUDE

"For the good of all..." 😭😭😭😭

"Or I could lock onto Nari and portal us there" *dead fucking silence*

I hate how Toby's used as a constant punchline.. a penny? Really?

TRAINTRACK MAGIC CIRCLE GO BRRRR

Poor Nari 🥺 Douxie's in so much distress

Oh no, the new amulet isn't working?? Fuckk

That absolutely gorgeous screencap of pissed Aja

Part of me is glad Nari was forced to do this and wasn't actually a traitor

Ice titan awakening sequence? Ice titan awakening sequence.

Oh Nari. Oh sweetie

Oh my gosh she's fucking tied to her titan

Boiling water!!! Or underwater explosion, that works too. Much more dramatic but that's Bellroc's style

Oh wow Steve actually has a bump?? What the fuck???

Oooh, TrollDragons?

Charlie!!!

"We still don't have a trollhunter" Aja, honey, not helpful

"Does he even trust himself? AJA, HONEY, NOT HELPFUL

Barbara being proud of her son 😭😭

OOH fusing excalibur with the armor?

Aja is so full of confidence, it's a good look for her

Steve being preggo is..really fucking weird. When they said

AWWW BLINKY AND AARRRGHHH

Your honor, I love them

OOH IS IT SOFT JLAIRE TIME

Ohhhh it's soft Jlaire time

He's always looking out for his mom 🥺

"I will always be here (head), and here (heart)" just fuck me up fam

Charlie!!!

Zong-Shi?

"Only death will come to those who go looking for it" oh dear

"The troll with many eyes" how does Charlie know Blinky? 😂

AYYY this where the banner that I found first is from!!! it was so cool seeing my screenshot circulate when we were starved for content 😂😂 everyone was posting various rott icons and banners that they got hoping they'd find a new one

Oh dear.. government

Blinky dear they can't understand you

"Holy frijole" Claire I simply adore you

WOW THAT'S PRETTYYYYY

Troll slaves???

So is Zong-Shi this ugly ass pear-lookin ass

Aja chilling with Jim even though she has doubts is an interesting strategic choice

Douxie, AARRRGHHH, and Nomura? Talk about rarepare

NOMURA CATCHING HIM 😭😭 SEXYYYY

DOUXIE RESCUING NOMURA 😭😭😭😭 SEXXYYYYY

If I havent said it yet, the animation is breathtaking

OH SHIT JIM

aaaaand here come those frozen wings

Nari cant be in control of herself, there's no way. She's still tied to the titan for Pete's sake

NOMURA????

Please dont let this be a sacrifice

PLEASE NO

BOTH CHANGELINGS????

STRICKLANDER??????

No on-screen death, so it's not real. No on-screen death, do it"# notbsmejelreal

NO ON-SCREEN DEATH BUT IT'S NOT REAL

THEYRE TALKING AHOUT HIM PAST-TENSE NOOOO

THEY RBOGUHT UP HIS DADDDDDD

"There's no revelation I can give you" is a great way of saying he's not relevant, genuinely

Oh wow this guy's freaky

Ohhhh so the green thing from the trailers and promo photos is the Krohnisfere

Archie to the rescue!!!

"That's my boy!" AWWE

"Claire nooo, no no no no YESSS, I'm free!!!" Blinky, never change 😂

Oh wow, they're already in contact with Bellroc's titan??

Different note, but the titan's designs are just different enough to make them interestun

VARVATOS??? Okay jk somehow it's gun robot lmfao

WAIT NEVER MIND HAHAHAH HI BUD

....if the bridge falls, can't Charlie just fly them across

LMAO he just saw his death?? That is what he wanted to see 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's too early to celebrate, there's no way Bellroc is down after just a few pinches

Yeahhh

Oh dear... is Varvatos in danger?

Claire being the warrior of the group is incredible and sexy and hhnnngggg

Toby is a Hufflepuff. I will not be answering questions

OH WOW THAT'S HOW HE BURNED HIS HAND??? THE HONRGAZEL?????

ARCHIE SAID GOODBYE??? NO NO NO NO NO

Douxie's gonna be a flat mess!!!

God, plus Nomura and Stricklander

NOOOO DOUXIE YOU BIG SWEETIE

Oh my gosh this is the scene with Douxie trying to connect with Nari, it has to be

"I need to try again" AWWW HONEY

That shot of Mexico was incredibly stereotypical

DOUXIE SWEETHEART 🥺🥺

He's trying to hold her hand???? AWWWW

Oh my gosh he's being choked 😳

NARI BABY!!!!

The huggos 🥺🥺

Jim being frustrated is totally realistic

Wait wait wait waittt do they have the entire titan at their disposal?

"There's absolutely nothing all the way out here" cue a titan. Any of them.

And there it is.

CLAIRE SUPREMACY!!!!!!!

White haired Claire? White haired Claire???

Oh dear it's like.. a little over halfway and there's so much left that could happen

COACH. COOOOACH

OH THANK GOD!!! Steve doesn't need another paternal figure dying on him

Time for Skrael to fuck shit up 😬

I find it interesting how Bellroc and Skrael's titans are both bipedal but Nari's is on four legs, much more animalistic

NARI, NOOOOO PLEASE NO

At least Skrael's done????

We kinds knew Bellroc was the final boss but NOT LIKE THIS

DOUXIE SCREAMING FOR HER

NOOOOOOO

No more running. GODDAMNIT

The three can no longer unite but Bellroc can still fcuk shit up

A HIDDEN PAGE??? FUCK THE WORLD IS TO BE REFORGED WITH FIRE

THE HEARTSTONE??????

Oh shit, the explanation for why Arcadia's the center of everything!!

The only heartstone?? Really???? That's scary as shit, trolls could go instinct without a reliable hearthstone!!

EXCALIBUR TIMEEE

JIMMMMMM

Come on honey, you can do it!!

Aja, honey, I love you so much but now's not the time

THE HEARTSTONE???? FUCK DUDE

.......Steve

Eli the midwife?? ...gross

Jim, my love, my baby boy!!!

The nine of them!!!

AWW BLINKY BEING THE BEST DAD

THEY WORK TOGETHER 😭😭😭😭

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

"Quiet desperation" is a great word for it

Are we coming on to the big final battle?

Ohnoohnoohno they all said the thing 😭😭😭 someone's gonna die. At least one more is gonna die.

HE'S DRIVINGGGG. LOVE THAT FOR HIM

STICKY SPELL TIME!!!!!!

"Some sort of stickum!" Bro 😂😂

I love how he calls them all Trollhunters 😭 throwback to the OG show where the three of them were all called that

Aja Terron supremacy

Oh it's weird.. it's very weird. Why did Steve have to be pregnant again

Oh dear, there's half an hour left.. this has to be the final battle

JIM

Varvatos shielding Claire and Krel 🥺

Fuck, man, people are getting thrown left and right

DOUXIE MY LOVE

Oh here we fucking go, rematch

NEW AMULET???

Jim's about to get royally fucked up

LIKE THAT

FUCK

WHY IS SHE TAKING HIM??? GOD NO

Anti-magic beacon??

Helloooo that's smart asf

This gives Mount Doom vibes

"Embrace your loved ones for the final time" FUCK MAN STOP IT

"I already was" DAMN RIGHT BUD

NEW AMULETTTT

GO GET JIM GO GET 'IM

DAYLIGHT ARMOR!!!!!!

He was ready to just sacrifice himself like THAT

DAYLIGHT ARMORRRRR WITH EXCALIBUR??????? FUUUUCK

Jim being great at combat is just the best fucking thing

Oh fuck. OH FUCK.

STABBED??????

PLEASE NO, GOD NO

FUUUUCK

"I'm powerless" "You get used to it" WE DONT HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT

JIM HONEY PLEASE DONT DIE

Is that....is that it?? Oh dear god, is that it????

JIM WHERE ARE YOU

I'm calling it now it's too early to be celebrating

Oh god the weird babies

WHERE IS TOBY

WHERE

NO

MY JAW FUCKING DROPPED

NO WAY, NO FUCKING WAY

HE'S GETTING A DYING MONOLOGUE??????

ALWAYS HAVE BEEN, ALWAYS WILL BE

"Itll be the two of us at the end" WHY DOES THAG SEEM LIKE JIM WILL GO OUT TIO

THERE'S NO WAY TOBY JUST DIED

THHERE'S NO WAY

That was sad as fuck but in a narrative way I hope it's permanent

Oh dear, Jim's going back????

Oh shit

WWHAT IS HE DOING

NOOOOO

"I have cherished every moment with you" STOP IT HE'S HIS FATHER

"I FYOU WERE MY OWN SON" STOPPPPPP

WHAT'S HAPONEINGGGGG

CLAIRE

NOOOO

THIS IS WHERE IM SOBBING

THIS IS WHERE IM LOSUNG IT

"Dont give up on me" FUCK STOPPPP

"I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE AND HERE" FUCK IT STOPPPPP

"I would date you for a hundred lifetimes" IS REALLY BEING TESTED HUH

THERE ARE 10 MINUTES ELFT WHAT THEBFUCK

AND WE'RE BACK TO TROLLHUNTERS?.????

HUHHHH

Fuck, man. FUCK, MAN.

Oh, Toby. Ohhhh Toby

CLAIRE 🥺

ROMEO AND JULIET!!!!

Oh my fucking god

"IF YOUD COME OVER TO DINNER" AYYYYY

His smile at Steve 🥺

HE'S HAVING TOBY TAKE THE CANAL???? But wouldnt the amulet still call for Jim?????

"Nothing interesting ever happens in Arcadia" VERY FUCKING FUNNY

Destiny is a gift. Some go their entire lives living in an existence of quiet desperation, never learning the truth- that what feels as though a burden pushing down upon our shoulders is actually the sense of purpose that lifts us to greater heights. Never forget that fear is but the precursor to valor. That to strive and triumph in the face of fear is what it means to be a hero. Don't think. Become.

.......it actually called his name. I can't believe it actually called his name.

The fuck is that ending??? Let Jim REST

[ms-marmar]

tw: pictures of food that may or may be fear foods

but also some pro recovery shit! fuck eds!

SO TODAY I SAID

FUCK U

TO MY BRAIN N WEIRD EATING BEHVAIORS AND TOLD MYSELF IMMA EAT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON TODAY (or as normal) AND TRY TO LISTEN TO MY HUNGER CUES, AND IF U DONT FEEL EM, EAT A BIT ANYWAY, U PROBS NEED IT, AND IF U EAT A BIT N U KNOW UR NOT HUNGRY, TELL URSELF ITS OK

Also just a reminder to y'all food is a necessity, not a reward 💕 yalls important n beautiful

IM SORRY IM TRYING TO ADD A READ MORE LINE BUT THE FUCKING TUMBLR APP GIVES SHIT FORMATTING AND I CANT EDIT IT ON MY LAPTOP BC ITS DUMB AND SO PLEASE IF THIS IS TRIGGERING PLS SKIP OVER

I ATE HALF THIS BURGER. IT TASTED OK, NTN SPECIAL, BUT I DO LOVE KETCHUP

I ATE SOME OF MY FAVORITE FISH + SOME RICE N MY LEFTOVER SPAM ONIGIRI I MADE A BIT AGO

I MADE MILK BREAD TODAY, I ATE SOME W WHIPPED CREAM N FROOT (mah favs, mango n banan n strawberry ✨)

I MADE THESE STRANGE LOOKING CHOCOLATE DONUTS TWO DAYS AGO, I ATE ONE LEFTOVER

AND TODAY WAS THE FIRST TIME I RLLY HAD ANY FOOD FROM OUTSIDE SO FUCK YEAH I GOT BOBA. COCONUT STRAWBERRY WUZ THE SHIT TODAY. tho I wish there were better boba places in my area, but this place isn't too bad!

so yeah hopefully you take this as some positivity ✨ did I feel great? Nope. Deep down I know I'm scared of recovery, even though I know something is wrong and I need to fix it. Ive always been scared that recovery = "letting myself go." And the fact that I gained weight during my remission period just confirmed it. But I didn't consider all the other factors going on in my life that contributed to it. Ive been refusing even just trying to believe that where I'm at with my weight is okay. Constantly I feel like I do and dont deserve to feel like I'm fat. There's too much to consider in this mess. But what i do knownis thag I don't want to tell others get better when even I'm not putting that effort to get better myself. We all know its a lot of work and it's exhausting, but we can't give up. I've been keeping secrets from the ppl closest to me again and last time it happened I rlly hurt them. Hopefully I'll try to improve so that I don't keep spiraling down like I have in the past and repeat cycles of remission/relapse. I'm lucky enough to have people support me, and I take them for granted and refuse to reach out because I know that im supposed to "get better" when that's the last thing I wanna do. Why do I cling on so desperately to something i both love and hate, and all it does is make me suffer. I pray that you have others you can rely on, have resources available, etc. because you deserve and need help. And if you got nobody else to turn to Im always here to listen.

sorry this was long I went on a rant ahaha I could probs say more or edit this but I'm too lazy

i don't mean to offend anyone, all our experiences r v different and there’s no easy solution to any of the things we face. I wish there were better ways and answers. But first we must be open to them. I know that some day we'll all eventually feel okay 💕 and I can't wait :)

[winking]

omg stop [[read more]] that won't work i just wanna talk abt something super long keep scrolling i learned abt this guy who was newly wedded he and his wife were watching a horror movie and after that his entire life change cause he kept having intrusive thoughts like thoughts abt killing his wife or killing his dog and other violent gross things ... and they wouldn't go away no matter how hard he tried and he went to see a freudian therapist 😐 and ofc thag didn't help because they made it seem like his thoughts had this deeper meaning and they wouldn't even give him therapy after 5 visits because they were scared JSNDNS it wasn't until he found this other therapist who uses a different method basically just explaining that the thoughts he have are thoughts anyone can have for example when ur driving wanting to swerve or crash or wanting to jump off a building like they're just random thoughts but u understand that u would never do that ? like if ur boss is annoying and u wanna kill them but u kno like that's silly u cant kill them and u move on w ur day the thought goes away but people like this patient have ocd so the more they wanted these intrusive thoughts to go away the more they would come back .... it was so interesting 🧐 so he had to go through exposure therapy .. like holding knifes and stuff cause apparently he had vivid thoughts abt cutting his wife and his wife knew btw and she was so supportive and like not scared JNSDJ THE TRUST.... after some sessions the therapist made him hold a knife to his throat , and make him think abt the thoughts .... and the guy was obviously scared like this whole time he was scared that he was gonna do crazy things and he would rather be monitored in a mental health place but once he had the knife to this guys throat he was like ya ... i cant kill someone i'm not capable and so the thought went away cause he came to terms w it ... he eventually did the same w his wife and like idk 😐 it helped a lot but they never went completely away which i find even more interesting because he was like ... ya my life never went back to normal i still have the thoughts like dam .... it's crazy how something can just change and idk if the movie triggered something ?? idk but like .... it might have ?? maybe it's similar to like when u think of something bad that happened to u or something scary and ur like don't think about it but by doing that u think abt it more but because of the ocd it's amplified and now he'll never forget it ??? i'm not educated enough

[bonbonswirl-blog]

Perfect

ALL THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO @brueklynn I OWN NOTHING. This is like..uhhhh idk?... a 'batim' au idea? I guess? Im Not sure idk..its just that I got the idea from there and Instead of bendy its jokey, but not really exactly what happend there in batim. Plz ignore the bad portrayed scenes XD blondie is a lot OOC here. Enjoy if you only can thx.

It was a typical afternoon, the sunlit clouds drifted across a clear blue sky, fresh air filled the atmosphere swaying the palm trees gently by a breeze. David was at the recording room, a mellifluous melodic singing voice rose high, following the sweet, piping notes produced by the musical instruments around. After such a lilting, everyone toke a break, david sat on a chair, holding the lyrics for the new song in his hands. He saw a shadow approaching him, revealing his only cheerful boss. "Oh hey Mr. Blondie!! How are you in this lovely day!" "Hello david! Just checking on my young talented singer! How is the new song going?" "Its going great! Im just reading the lyrics again now!" "Thats good!...you know david...have you ever thought about how much the children love your jokey voice?" "Oh! Thats intresting...im sure everybody enjoy listening to it!" "Yea! they do....have you ever felt some...connections...to jokey?" "Connections? Mmmm well...I do feel that we both share a good love for the stage and thrilling the audience! along with the love to asssist other people and spread some optimism in the air!" "Thats beautifull!...Have you ever considered before...becoming this star that all those kids appresciate?" "That...looks pretty Mr. Blondie! But what do you mean?" His boss began to equivocally chuckle, it was low but icy, wasnt like his usual gleeful ones that gave an auditory hug, but david overlooked that, remaining unruffled till the answer. "David. Can you come with me for a while?" "Sure thing! But..what about the new song?" "Dont worry! It can be done in another time! now follow me!" They both left the recording room, the animator leading the ginger boy across the studio, while on their little trip to the unknown room they are walking to, david catched from away a sight of henry, tommy and norman talking together until a rueful rob drew near them, starting a conversation. David didnt mean to eavesdrop anyone, but their high voices did reach his ear. "Guys! Have any of you heared ANYthing lately about harriet? I cant find her anywhere! She didnt come to work and she is not at her home! I called her many times but she doesnt reply! Im really so scared..." rob vented, the three told him thag they didnt see her too. David felt sorry for the fellow worker, hoping that harriet is alright and will be back soon. He looked forward, though he only saw blondie back and his wheelchair, he could feel that he is trying to ignore something, he may have heard a little of the talking out there, maybe he feels sad too? But david was in his mind for a bit, wasnt aware of the time until he sensed that blondie stopped moving. This is when he noticed he is in an unrecognizable area he didnt see before, maybe this was a new place that got built recently?, " Here we are david!!" In front of both was a dark long way of stairs, it was only one storey up, just like one of those half open basemant stariecases. David knew not both will be able to clmib this, he was ready to push that wheelchair up, he looked at blondie concerned, whom just returned a grin. "Dont worry about me! I have my own ways for climbing those!" David didnt really get it, but he just let it go and left blondie to use to his own way, watching him in every step making sure he wont be close to any harm.

Dont ask how blondie climbed the stairs, he just did. that was a really narrow hall they were both in, in front of them a wooden door, blondie toke out his keys and opened it, only for both to be greeted by. "Finally!! Where Were ya!!" an angry wallaby yelled, looking as if he lost patience, it seems blondie was late to whatever meeting they should have done earlier, the room wasnt so small, almost looks like a little hallway with a wall at the end. The view was...tensed, it was a dark room with only a little bulb barley lighning it, orange colored light struggling to penetrate the darkness in thin thread rays. It was almost as if candles were the ones giving the slight shine here. Wallaby, paul and murphy were there, standing near the sides of the walls, everyone in a specific place, two at the right wall and one at the left one, only a mile spearting each two. the menacing aura holding david in a tightening grip, why do blondie have such a grisly decorating tatse...He wasnt sure if entering this room is a safe idea. "Guys!! I Brought Our Last Guest!!" Blondie exclaimed in a chirpy tone, closing the door behind himm Last guest? What does he mean? "Can we PLEASE Finish This Now And Go out?" "Come on paul dont be such a killjoy! Enjoy the place!" "If you are telling us to enjoy this creepy atmosphere then I had lost all my faith in you." murphy sneered, clearly not comfortable or trusty with how this 'gathering' is going to end, nobody knows the goal behind it. "Come on David! Here! This Is Your Place!! Stay Still And Dont Move Ok?" Blondie said while putting david on a specific spot on the left wall. "Sure! Wont Move A Shoe!" David obeyed, blondie looked at him, but this time, although he had his usual smile that showed his white glowed teeth spreaded on his face, his eyes had shimmers with some inexplicable spite. "Everything is set~" He whispered this under his breath while walking to one of the corners, nobody heard that one. Three of the invited four toke a look at blondie whereas he was doing something uncanny at that distant corner. David turned at the person in front of him, which was paul. "Oh! hey Mr.Paul!" But being the tedious man he is, paul didnt respone, only focusing on the book on his hand, thats why wallaby seemed as if he was gabbling to himself. The young boy then looked to his right side and saw murphy, still keeping an eye at blondie in a suspicion, despite not understanding a thing from what he was doing, nobody can just fetch someone to a room like this without being not up to something. "So Guys! Why are we here?" "I Dunno david! Mr. Blondie just went to me and told me that I gotta get here cuz he needs me for somethin, well I dont see anything! All I do is just standing on dis here spot not movin a leg!! What about ya paul?" "I dont care I just came here so he can stop nagging me." " I came here after he told me that I can be a 'star' like jokey." "Wait you gonna be a star? Ooh! Thats why we standin on a star!" "What?!" Wallaby words strongly drived murphy attention, making him watch the ground, they all noticed it now, they are standing on 'stars' that are drawn on the floor. David felt inside him a very straied premonisition feeling that was telling him to move, he didnt understand it, why would his guts tell him to move away from a single drawing on the floor? He promised his boss he will stay still there....how could a star drawing hurt anyone? Since whe do drawing harm people? But no matter how much he tries to brush off that feeling, it feels like a stiff weigh was being held on his chest, it made him feel so sick, maybe he just needs to move because his legs hurt him? Yeh yeh thats just it. The cheeky lad toke one step only out of that star shape, he tried to persuad himself its his legs aching and not because of a sixth sense, and that was really something he should be thankful for because. "Guys! I think we gonna be a stars!" "Wallaby...I dont think this star shape is used fo-" "GOODBYE MATES!!"

And with a casted spell and a flash of an eye, everybody was drowned with an unknown colorful sticky liquid that fully covered them, gluing them to the ground. Expect David, who fell down to the ground aspect with a horrible fear that rised behind his eyes from the grisly vision that immediately happend.

Blondie Stood there, watching him in enmity.

Blondie turned around, only to be so bothered by seeing the surviver. "Oh it seems I missed a shot! Im going to fix this~" The words had deserted david, the color quickly drained from his face, a cold wave embalmed him and his mouth ran dry, sweat poured down his body, Heart began to hammer against his chest, every muscle in his body shouted at him to flee. To escpae this imminent threat. He hurried to the door, using every little cell of power left to open it, but no matter how much he quickly moves the handle in fright, the door didnt open, oh yes, blondie locked it. Seeing no hope, he knocked on it so expeditiously and hardly, trying not to make his words stumbled, begging for someone outside to hear him. "HEEEEELLLP!!! HELP ME!!! PLEASE!!! ANYBODY OUT THERE?!?!? PLEASE HELP ME!!" "Come on David, why so nervous?" Blondie snickered from behind him, his voice hinting he is oncoming, his tone ringing in a sick icy way, sending chimes ringing in david ears, but he kept screaming for a rescue, he was not frightened nor afraid, he was beyond such mere nouns, he was going crazy, his boater hat fell from his head, it only reminded of how much he wants his family NOW in this profound situation, he just wanted to go back to them again, stay with his father marley at home and go to beach together or golf or car or wherever his father wants to go, staying in his parents arms was all what he desired, he would never wish anything anymore after this. He could no longer control his hands they were shaking in an odd trembling rhythm, his legs collapsed underneath him, teeth chattering in fear, He slid down the door, bringing his knees up to his chest.

"I-I-I-I-I-I D-D-DONT UNDERSTAND!!!!!!"

"You dont understand? I hated you! Im who created jokey! He was my friend since the childhood! My friend since the start!! But you! I saw every little detail I gifted him in you! You were perfect, perfect for him, more perfect than me! Now that I had a studio of my own, I wanted him to be alive! I reached my wish by the help of you all, by animating and presenting him to all the children around the world, they loved him, just like me! But lately, I didnt feel that I made this dream come true yet...how can a cartoon character offset me of a friend who always stayed by my side that I cant make real! But now I found a second chance, a second chance to revive him, to this reality. Thats it! Thats the chance! By using some souls to bring those stunning characters and that convival cartoony world I created to reality...that was always my biggest dream...and whats a better chance than to have the voice actor whom I influenced the traits for the children 'star' right at my hand~ People will love you david~"

Blondie was right, if david dyed his hair black and wore some cheeks make up, he could exactly like a real life jokey, but who would need a cheap costume when you can bring jokey himself to reality. David recalled the times when he sometimes thought uncle harry may have been a little overprotective of him. He thought his uncle needs to ease a bit, nothing so dangerous will happen for him. Now, he regret thinking this, and wants him to overprotect him forever and ever. Fear became a tangible, living force that crept over him like some hungry beast, immobilizing him and his brain, holding him a captive and took control of his entire body, Shadows and echoes play on his senses warping shapes and sounds. That outlandish substance already reached his legs, his life flashed before his eyes and he ushered his bright unearthly ones shut.

Yeb, this is the angel end.

[sisyphus-prime]

👁️ 💥 👪 💤 🎂 🍧 🌙 🍃 🕷️ 🌌 📣 📖 🪤 📸 🍼 ✏️ 🎵 🎀 🚆 🚲 💧 ☁️ 🌟 🌠 ❤️ 💙 💔

N

O specific oc? I mena okay [chanting] dust dust dust du

👁️ EYE - what colour are their eyes? do people notice their eyes? is there anything special about them (shows emotion easily, literally magical...)?

Brown. Like a really deep, wet soil brown. People kind of have to notice them. Since everything is covered up. Nothing super special tho

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

Lack of control is something big, that they won't admit easily. As much as they understand, fundamentally, rhat they cannot have control, and work hard to be patient, they get very very stressed when things fall apart.

👪 FAMILY - what is their family like? what is your ocs relationship to them? does your oc have any siblings?

Dust came from a family of 5, 3 parents, and a sibling. They're not a super close family, but they were happy. Dust also had a wife and 3 children, he loved them dearly.. He cannot see them anymore for reasons he will not discuss

💤 SLEEPING - do they fall asleep easily? what helps them sleep?

Dust physically cannot sleep most nights. He spends his time reading instead. He understands that isn't healthy but it won't stop him

🎂 BIRTHDAY CAKE - when is their birthday? do they like celebrating it?

Dust's birthday is the world's equivalent of may 15th. He does not celebrate besides buying himself a book. He will not tell people his birthday.

🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

They have a plush of an displacer kitten that they have had since they were young. They don't know when, it's long before they can't remember though. The plush has some sort of enchantment on it because when he was younger, he was very sandy! And sand can destroy fabrics! Not this plush.

I think losing it would end up in totally tearing apart his house and kinda losing it because this is one of the few reminders he has of anything about when he was a child, and he couldn't tell you what about it feels so significant, but it is.

🌙 MOON - what is your oc's greatest wish? how far are they willing to go for it?

To go home. He wants to go home to his family, but he can't. Hes been trying to figure out how for a long time. He's getting more desperate as the years pass.

🍃 FALLING LEAF - do they enjoy being in nature? what is their favourite outdoor activity?

Yes and no. Yes, because being alone in nature on a walk or hike is one of the few times he doesn't need his coat ourside. No because you can still run into people and he does not want to without his coat.

🕷️ SPIDER - what is their biggest fear? do they have any irrational / mundane fears?

Absolutely terrified of the day his body gives up on him and he just falls apart. He understands that he's not just made of dirt as a genasi, but man. Its there

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

I already forgot and i came up with him yesterday BUT-

📣 MEGAPHONE - how loud are they? what do they speak like? got a voice claim?

Not quite soft-spoken, he speaks at normal volume. But they are very easily spoken over and ignored. Which is funny when they're 8 feet tall. No voice claim yet but they talk very fancily

📖 OPEN BOOK - do they like reading? what's their favourite genre?

They are! A scholar! And so the only room in their house that is clean, and the biggest room, is the library. They work with magical history and sources, primarily.

🪤 MOUSE TRAP - what will always lure them into certain danger? a loved one in danger? a promise of something they are always searching for?

Literally both suggested ones. Literally, I cant exaggerate thag is exactly what you need to get him to go

📸 CAMERA - do they enjoy having their picture taken? what's their go-to pose? do they like taking photos? what do they take photos of?

They fucking HATE their photo being taken, but would love taking photos of people they care about. They don't own a camera though.

🍼 BABY BOTTLE - what are their thoughts on children?

They had 3. They can't see them anymore. Loved them to bits

✏️ PENCIL - is there a particular quote / lyric that you associate with them?

🎵 MUSIC NOTE - what is their playlist like? their favourite artists? do you associate a particular song with them?

I already have one here actually! The woods is my main one

🎀 RIBBON - how would they fit into other worlds / aus? what aus would you like to try out? what fictional world would they fit / not fit into?

Any au garrett could fit in, he could fit in. Worlds without magic or tech for extensive things means a lot of backstory shifting. Hed work well in smi..le for me

🚆 TRAIN - what is their answer to the trolley problem?

"Pull the lever. They may die, but you have saved others who may have families of their own."

🚲 BICYCLE - can they ride a bike? what do they remember from learning to ride a bicycle?

They cannot ride a bike. As a kid, maybe, but they can't remember, ans they don't have any big enough bikes nearby for muscle memory checks

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon

Waltzes make him teary eyed. He would waltze with his wife in the kitchen while a record played. He has to leave any area where one is being played after a period of time

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

If he went home now, he would be welcomed by his family with open arms. As far as they know, he died, but confirmation its really him would be met with elation and love.

🌟 GLOWING STAR - what do they think about when they look at the night sky? is there someone they want to star gaze with?

His eldest would always point out constellations when they were out after dark. He misses that.

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

, if dust had a wish, he would wish to be able to go back to before he lost everything and redo those years of his life again, ending in losing it again or not.

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

Quality time. Before the incident, it was acts of service, but he is less confident in any actions and finds himself content to spend time with those he cares about

💙 BLUE HEART - do they miss their s/o easily? how do they act when their s/o isn't around?

If it isn't obvious, he misses his wife. At this point, if he gave up trying to go home and started anew, he would very quickly miss any s/o. Minor abandonment issues. Quieter, more withdrawn, trying to find distraction.

💔 BROKEN HEART - what could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?

His wife now? He can finally come home... to see she moved on, and won't talk to him. If she moved on, he could live, but he can't imagine never talking to her again.

A different partner? Minimalizing his efforts in his work, and saying he deserved his fate. He knows he isn't a great person, but he would have tried to make that obvious from the start, and he takes great pride in his work

[teddy-feathers]

.

[strawberryspeachy]

So when i was a senior in college it seemed like the internet was suddenly buzzing with the word “toxic”

Cut the toxic people out of your life

That persons toxic

That behaviors toxic

Initially i read them/listened to the videos seriously

But eventually i gathered that EVERYTHING is toxic

Basically people ever since then call everything that makes them uncomfortable or that they dislike - toxic.

And someone purposely and repeatedly making another person uncomfortable is “toxic”. Puposely. And repeatedly.

Because everyone is fucking different and people cant read your fucking mind so if you dont say what bothers you or that something is bothering you - other people dont know

My friends keep telling me thay my ex was manipulative and narcissistic. He cheated on me and he lied to me. But i also fucked up. He told me that it was ok and that he forgave me. And ive been struggling to find out if what i did deserved him to lie to me for the next month and then cheat on me all while telling me he wanted our relationship to continue with just the two of us.

Im seriously torn up blaming myself. Im confused and i feel terrible. Terrible for things i said and terrible that he treated me the way thag he did.

So while my friends have been telling me he was a manipulative narc - when i looked into it i felt like it was me a little

But then the more i look - the more the descriptions change

Every fucking video and description and post and blog - they all have different qualifiers

Manipulators

Narcissist

Sociopath

Psychopaths

Literally any word that describes a bad person - they all get woven in together with the same descriptors - and completely different at the same time

All these “therapists” and life coaches and people talking and writing like theyre an expert

First off. More than anything. Theyre all super fucking vague.

But what they all really dig into (and the same reason i sometimes hate criminal minds) they all preach

‘If you had a difficult childhood’

‘If you never really fit in’

‘If youve gone through tramatic events’

‘If you have depression’

Youre a shitty person whose abusing other people.

They always say that the abusers know theyre doing it!! Oh except when they dont. They don’t know theyre doing it!

They always say “their victims” but then call the abusers people with victim complexes... well then.... i guess everyone in this scenario is a victim??

“Dont let your abuser diminish your feelings!” “Heres some talking points on how to shut down conversations and instead diminish the ‘abusers’ feelings”

And I’m back to that annoyance i had back in 2014 when the word toxic was plastered all over the internet.

Toxic people exist

These personality problems exist

Obviously. Abusers exist.

But everything is fucking abuse and breaking boundaries to whoever the authors of these outlets are

And as someone who was really looking for information- it was not helpful at all. Im even more confused than when i started.

Also. Their bs on how to deal with abusers isnt even helpful. My great grandmother and mother and grandfather were/are all abusive. They really act like you can just shut a real abuser down and just walk away.

Who have these people talked to?!?!? Sociopaths on their best behavior who are trying to look good to the public?? Obviously yeah

I spent my whole life trying to find ways to avoid getting screamed at and demeaned by my great grandmother.

Be happy - shed follow me around proding and asking favors until she saw any twitch in my face and then yell at me for not wanting to do something that i agreed to do or not liking someone that i said i liked cause she saw on my face that i didnt and she wanted to get me upset/angry

Be neutral. Same thing. Also. Why arent i happy??

Be angry - worked the best. She really just wanted me angry anyhow. Id still get told off for not being happy and appropriative enough - but if i were angry she could go complain to other people about how terrible i was.

Try to calm her down??? No. That couldnt happen... this is a woman who yelled at me as an adult for not befriending my childhood bullies as a child because i was “a miserable rude girl who had no friends”

Ask her to calm down or leave me alone? That’s incredibly fucking rude and how dare I speak to her that way

Tell her something she said was smart or interesting? Get berated for being stupid and told off because ‘she knows i wont take her advice!’

Uhhh yea. Youre right smart o therapist calling me toxic for having a difficult childhood. Im not over it. And if i had any of these therapists as a kid theyd probably tell me that my great grandmother was just instilling “tough love” even though it became very clear that she never actually loved me at all after she died.

Tldr: i still hate the term “toxic” to describe ppl and am coming to hate the term narc as well because people use it to describe every single person that does anything they dislike